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#depressed like 10x worse than this yrs ago i remember i still did my best to be there for whoever i was dating at the time
oatbugs · 1 year
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AUGHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
#waiting for smn is soooo#idk#idk how to feel what to think#anyway asked my friends for advice on it#they were all like u should have a convo abt it. bc like#emotional support is important in a relationship and receiving none of it is bad#like how come we r both having a tough time and yet so far i was like aw theyre having a horrible time theyre dealing w#depression thats why they cant support me :(( like.#im also having a tough time dealing w depression and ive been there 4 them consistently !!! and im sorry but like when i was horribly#depressed like 10x worse than this yrs ago i remember i still did my best to be there for whoever i was dating at the time#but rn its so one sided like im excusing a complete lack of emotional support under the category of mental health stuff#and even tho i told myself it was an explanation not an excuse it was in fact both. it was def an excuse#depression can make it hard for u to be there for others but when theyre ur partner and ur best friend and u cant even respond#to them stating how they feel properly that is bad !! viewing them telling u their current emotion or feeling bc thats what the topic is#as ~putting stuff on you randomly~ is bad!!#like fr whenever i feel sad i have to eat up my feelings and cry on my.own bc im afraid theyre not going to respond well to me telling them#that. its not like i vent or anything either (w/o asking. but i dont even do that) its just#UGHHH IDK#anyway ive been avoiding this convo w them for a while bc i have been trying to be patient and just. wait for them to get better#and maybe someday they would be there for me!! maybe my friends r all the emotional support i need if i feel so bad that i cant keep it in!#but its just not fair on me i think. ive been feeling shit too!!! i forgot that i existed#until i finally told my friends abt it and they were like. relationships r a two way street etc etc#anyway yh#idk how this will go x#taking some time away to collect my thoughts n so are they so
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