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taexual · 4 months

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sleepwalking ● 16 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

summary: due to unfortunate circumstances, you ended up managing your ex-boyfriend’s band. you thought you’ve both made peace with it, but suddenly he’s very eager to prove to you that first love never dies.

genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers

warnings: fluff (if you squint really really hard), ANGST, strong language, explicit descriptions of violence & the process of cleaning wounds, mentions of loss of consciousness, SLOW BURN

words: 12.2k

read from the beginning ○ masterlist

chapter 16 ► i’m still your favourite regret, you’re still my weapon of choosing

The performance in Cologne the next day passed by in a blur. Jungkook refused to speak to anyone and only opened his mouth when it was absolutely necessary during the sound check—and even then, most of his vocabulary consisted of grunts or monosyllables.

He wouldn’t have called it sulking—he would have called it existential sorrow—but from the perspective of those around him, that was what this was.

He had dreamed of a happy ending with you. Now, he feared there would be no ending at all. He feared you’d leave and your goodbye would come in a letter. Or maybe just a farewell email.

“I had a wonderful time working with you and I wish you all the best for the future,” would be the last thing you’d write. The last thing you’d say.

You’d leave and he would never see you again.

Although he didn’t talk to you, Jungkook watched you a lot. The band had to do some interviews backstage before the Cologne show, and you were in the room with them, behind the camera. He counted, you only looked at him once.

After the concert, Jungkook took a long shower, but it could not drown his fears. When he returned to the hallway outside the dressing rooms, he saw that the post-show drinks were already finished and everyone had returned to the bus. He’d hoped that would happen. He needed a few more minutes alone.

He entered the changing room with a towel draped over his shoulders and quickly changed his shorts into sweatpants. Just as he pulled his hoodie over his head—somewhat laboriously, as his arms were still damp from the shower—he heard something vibrating against the leather couch in the room.

Confused, he pulled the hoodie on and walked over to the couch. He didn’t recognise the phone, but Taehyung was calling it, so chances were good that the device belonged to Luna. He made a mental note to bring it to her and placed it back on the couch while he packed the rest of his things.

He had just unzipped his bag when he heard the door open and turned his head. His expectant heart immediately jumped over several beats at the possibility that this was you.

But it was the furthest thing from you.

It was Sid.

Sid had many useless, irritating talents, but always finding Jungkook when he was alone, was his most impressive one.

Jungkook started to roll his eyes even before Sid spoke up, but that didn’t deter the older boy from entering the room.

“You’ve been ignoring us the whole day,” Sid said, closing the door behind him. “Well, I don’t care if you ignore everyone else. But you’ve been ignoring me, and I can’t allow that.”

Jungkook threw his jeans and shorts into the bag.

“That is so kind,” he said without looking up. “Did you miss me that much?”

“I did,” Sid said, and even without looking at him, Jungkook knew he had his usual psychotic grin on. Leaning against the dressing table, Sid added, “the clock’s tick-tick-ticking.”

“If you don’t leave me alone right now,” Jungkook retorted, unplugging his charger and packing it, too, “my foot is going to be kick-kick-kicking your ass.”

Sid merely snorted at the threat. “You’re very hostile, you know? It’s just a bet.”

Jungkook scoffed.

He remembered hoping that Sid would eventually forget about the bet if no one mentioned it. How very naive he had been. Sid would never forget. He was like a hateful elephant in this case—he had a flawless memory for anything that benefited him and was constantly at the centre of attention in any room he was in, making it impossible to escape his presence.

Jungkook couldn’t believe that he had once clung to the Katana so tightly that he didn’t even consider the possibility of losing the bet as soon as he made it. It seemed absurd now. What did he want to prove? Nothing made sense to him anymore.

“Is it? Really? Just a bet?” he rebutted, moving closer to Sid with each question. “Because when I told you I wanted to end it, you acted like we signed a fucking contract.”

Sid shrugged, his indifference as irritating as it was insincere.

“A bet’s still a bet,” he replied. “You’ve got to keep your word.”

Rolling his eyes, Jungkook turned around and grabbed his hairdryer from the table. They had already argued about this before. He didn’t have the energy to keep doing it, and he still had things to pack.

“Get fucked, Sid.”

“Come on,” Sid said, clearly expecting a more grandiose response from him. “You keep saying that. But I’m willing to talk to you here. Tell me what happened.”

Jungkook glared at him through his peripherals. “What the fuck do you mean, what happened?”

“Well, you were acting so bold and confident before,” Sid said in a breathy voice, presumably to imitate Jungkook’s manner of speaking. “You were sure you’d get back together, no problem.”

“No,” Jungkook countered, straightening up. “I was sure we could go on a date, no problem. That was the extent of the bet for me.”

It was bad enough, he knew. But he couldn’t move forward if he didn’t own up to it.

“Aww.” Sid tilted his head sideways and pursed his lips to feign sympathy. “But you couldn’t even do that...”

“I fucking—okay,” Jungkook stopped when he felt his agitation grow. There was a voice in his head—very similar to yours—reminding him that Sid wasn’t worth it. “Get out. I’m serious.”

“Was that all talk?” Sid continued as if the younger boy hadn’t spoken. “Admit it, and maybe we’ll come to a different agreement about the bet.”

“Get,” Jungkook said, gritting his teeth, “out.”

Sid clicked his tongue, but the pleasure that this interaction brought him was prominent in his eyes. Antagonising Jungkook was his favourite part of the day.

“Predictable,” he said. “It seems I overestimated you, after all.”

“What the fuck are you on about now?”

“Well, you know,” Sid continued to spin his webs around Jungkook. “You and your manager. I thought you’d win the bet for sure.”

Raising an eyebrow, Jungkook asked, “yet you still agreed to it?”

Sid’s eye twitched slightly—Jungkook felt a great sense of satisfaction at the sight; it wasn’t often that Sid was forced to question his own logic, however momentarily—but he recovered too quickly.

“I like to gamble.” He shrugged. “What can I say?”

“You can shut up,” Jungkook suggested.

“However, you didn’t manage to do it,” Sid went on. “And I have to say, I am genuinely surprised. Not about you, no. I always knew you were pathetically in love with her, that’s just who you are. No offence, just the truth, really. But she’s just—I mean, come on.” He paused to laugh, one hand on his stomach as if he found himself so amusing that he needed to keep his guts from spilling out. “You fluttered your eyelashes at her once, and she went to Paris with you. She’s that fucking easy.”

Jungkook felt the room still as he lifted his gaze from Sid’s stomach to his eyes.

“What?” he asked.

“Oh, you know what I mean.” Sid’s grin was about as wide as the distance from this venue to the nearest hospital, where Jungkook thought he was about to send him.

Sid pushed himself off the table he’d been leaning against and walked over to the rack of clothes next to the couch. Jungkook watched him, stiff and belligerent.

“I thought she was keeping you on a short leash. And don’t blame me. I mean, you always ran after her as soon as she called,” the older boy continued, laughing with a little shake of his head—as if in disbelief. He turned and leisurely strolled back towards Jungkook. “But she—I mean, I get the feeling she doesn’t like me very much, but even I could have taken her out if I wanted to. Honestly, man, I’m surprised you couldn’t do it. She’s that specific type—you know the one—where she’ll say yes to anyone if they just put in enough effort—”

Jungkook’s punch landed right on the side of Sid’s mouth, cutting him off.

Something in Sid’s neck cracked as the blunt force twisted his head to the side. The corner of his mouth was bleeding, but he still had an almost defiant look in his eyes when he turned back to Jungkook. The tips of his fingers were painted scarlet when he pulled them back from his lips.

“I fucking warned you,” Jungkook growled while Sid continued to stare at his hand. “Get your ass out of here right fucking now or I swear they’ll have to carry you out of here in a fucking box.”

Sid spat the blood from his mouth on the floor and glared at Jungkook.

“That the best you can do?” he challenged. “Huh? Maybe that’s why you couldn’t even get someone like her to—”

Jungkook raised his fist again, but Sid had already been anticipating it. He pushed Jungkook’s hand back with his forearm, knocking the younger boy off balance for a moment—it was then that he landed a punch on Jungkook’s left cheekbone.

A sharp pain surged through the side of his face, but Jungkook was wide awake and furious.

In less than a second, he noticed Sid swinging back again—Sid had always been strong but slow—and Jungkook blocked his blow with his left wrist and rammed his shoulder into Sid’s chest, pushing him into the wall and wrapping an arm around him. The older boy thrashed and squirmed with raging strength until he freed one of his hands.

Jungkook tried to pin Sid’s left arm against the wall—he was left-handed if barely even that—but, being the massive pile of unbelievably lucky crap that he was, Sid managed to use his right fist to reach the boy restraining him.

Sid’s unexpected southpaw caught Jungkook just as he was lowering his head to avoid the blow from the older boy’s dominant hand—and his right fist connected with the side of Jungkook’s head, between his eye and temple.

“You’re f-fucking embarrassing,” Sid snarled, bloodied and breathless, as Jungkook staggered backwards, dazed from the blow. “Weak fucking piece of sh-shit. Birds of fucking feather, you two—both fucking worthless and—”

Sid inhaled quickly before finishing his sentence—but then he ended up not even finishing his breath.

Aggravated and filled with raw adrenaline, Jungkook delivered a furious uppercut, his fist colliding solidly with Sid’s chin. The older boy was propelled backwards by the force—Jungkook heard the thud as his head hit the wall.

Already groaning, Sid was determined to fight back—never mind that the room was spinning—but Jungkook took advantage of the moment while Sid’s vision was still cloudy and pinned him against the wall with his full weight.

“I thought I told you to shut the fuck up,” he hissed, pressing his forearm against Sid’s neck.

Choking, Sid immediately grabbed Jungkook’s arm to push him off, but Jungkook had a clear strength and fury advantage. He did not budge as the older boy resisted him.

Sid knew this wasn’t a good look for him—he could feel that if Jungkook pushed his forearm into his neck any harder, he’d lift him off the ground. Unable to breathe, the older boy paled, but his eyes were black with rage.

“Face the fff-fuh-fucking facts. You’re weak,” Sid wheezed, livid. There was blood in his mouth and something else that rolled around his tongue when he spoke. “And she’s a f-fucking—”

“One more fucking word,” Jungkook warned, pressing his arm harder into Sid’s throat—the other boy couldn’t even look at him anymore, his head was pushed too far back, “and you’ll have to be fucking dissected to find out what the fuck happened to you.”

Sid gasped for breath but refused to stop speaking. “I—unf—f-fucking—”

“What the fuck—” a shrill, startled voice demanded from behind the two boys, “—is going on?!”

Jungkook jumped—Sid felt his arm shove deeper into his throat and let out a half-stifled cry—and turned to see Luna standing wide-eyed in the doorway of the changing room.

He tore himself away from Sid, who dropped his hands to his knees, panting and clutching his throat before straightening again as though nothing was wrong. But his attempt to inhale properly resulted in another violent coughing fit. He bent over to spit out some blood and something else.

The two boys watched as a tooth rolled into the revolting mixture of spit and blood on the floor. Sid looked appalled as he reached for his mouth again, almost prepared to count all his teeth to check if he’d really lost one or if spare teeth were just something he carried around in his mouth without realising.

“Do I have to ask again?!” Luna cried, too shocked to make sense of what she had the unfortunate luck of interrupting.

“It’s okay, Luna,” Jungkook said, wiping his hands on his sweatpants. “Sid was just leaving.”

Sid glared at him, coughed again, and leaned in closer.

“All bark,” he hissed hoarsely. Jungkook could see the small gap next to Sid’s lower canine when he opened his mouth. “No bite.”

“Get fucked,” Jungkook said. “And pack your shit. Don’t come anywhere near me again or you’ll be eating through a fucking straw.”

He watched as Sid narrowed his eyes, fighting a battle within himself. Jungkook’s jaw was clenched, his fists ready to strike if he made another comment or exhibited any signs of even thinking about you.

Finally, Sid turned around and stormed out of the room. As soon as he walked down the corridor without so much as a glance at Luna, she went inside.

Still completely bewildered, she stopped abruptly in the middle of the room. The pool of blood was between her and Jungkook, and they both looked at it for a moment.

“What—” she began, then paused to suppress her disgust as she lifted her gaze from the floor to Jungkook. “What the hell happened here?”

He walked over to one of the cupboards by the window, searching for towels. He needed to clean this up or the venue would report the damages to you.

“Nothing,” he replied.

“You’re bleeding,” Luna said, stepping closer. Jungkook froze as she took one of the towels from him and reached up to his temple. “You’re bleeding so much, in fact, that you might need stitches.”

He shook his head—and then received a punch in the ribs from her. He yelped in surprise and learnt to stand still while she wiped the blood off.

“It’s fine,” he insisted. His temple throbbed with pain, but it still couldn’t compare to the sharp-edged emptiness that he’d felt all day.

“It’s not fine,” Luna said, pulling away. The towel was soaked with blood. Jungkook had to admit that he was surprised he was bleeding so much. Despite the sharpness of Sid’s fists, he had assumed that he’d been merely scratched. “Let me find—”

“No!” His eyes were wide in sudden panic. “Don’t—don’t bring her here. Actually, don’t tell her about the mess here at all. Please?”

Luna watched him for a moment, her eyebrows drawn together in confusion (was he serious?) and eyes bright with pity (what a shame to be so stupid).

“Jungkook,” she said patiently. “You’re going to have bruises all over your face. Probably even a black eye.”

He exhaled and looked down.

He knew he couldn’t keep this from you, but involving you now was the worst possible thing he could do. He was supposed to make things right.

“I know,” he said slowly, “but—I’m… I don’t want this to be another one of my messes that she has to clean up. That would definitely make her give up and go to Reconnaissance.”

Luna lowered her gaze, taking a moment to process the fact that Jungkook knew about the other band, but instead of the hysterics that everyone would have expected from him, he’d been rather composed all day today. Until he got into a fight with Sid, of course.

She tossed the towel onto the puddle of blood on the floor. She had no intention of cleaning it up herself, but she couldn’t stand to look at it.

“Well, have you considered not getting into this mess in the first place?” she asked then.

“Believe it or not, he started it,” Jungkook mumbled as he gathered more towels from the cupboard.

“Does that even matter now?”

Luna had to step back as he bent down to mop the floor. Some blood had already seeped into the wooden floorboards, but Jungkook scrubbed over the stain with the towel anyway.

“No,” he said, concentrating his irritation on the repetitive motions as he wiped the floor. “I guess not.”

“At least let me get some band-aids for you.” She looked around the room. There didn’t seem to be any first-aid kits here, but she had a few band-aids in her bag that she’d left in the waiting area outside. “Although I don’t know if that’s even enough.”

“It is enough,” Jungkook said. “I’m fine. He barely—barely touched me.”

Rolling her eyes and shaking her head, Luna turned to the door, muttering under her breath, “fucking boys.”

Jungkook couldn’t help a small smile.

“I heard that!” he shouted.

“I wanted you to!” she shouted back without turning around.

He chuckled, then winced at the sharp twinge in his temple. The adrenaline must have worn off, or the pain was getting stronger. He stopped scrubbing the floors, hoping to leave a message for the organisers and personally apologise for the mess later.

Then he crossed his legs on the ground and leaned his head against the wall. For just one second, he closed his eyes and rested.

He made a decision while he did.

He resolved to make sure that Sid wouldn’t come anywhere near him, Rated Riot, or you.

He finally realised that he had friends here—real friends. They had been here all along, the people who loved him. Hoseok, who took care of him when he was hungover. Yoongi, who tried to find help when he thought Jungkook was feeling a little too much. Taehyung, who didn’t leave even after Jungkook admitted how much he’d fucked up. And Luna, who looked about ready to physically beat some sense into him, but still stayed to help him with his wounds. Namjoon, Jimin, Seokjin, and Maggie, too—honestly, the entire team who laughed at his jokes, teased him and always supported him.

Although he was still worried about being alone with his thoughts, Jungkook knew he didn’t need Sid to fill the void. Now he wondered if Sid had always been the void he was trying to escape.

He was determined to prevent history from repeating itself. These people that he’d desperately wanted to call friends had already contributed significantly to your break-up once before, without him realising it.

Well, now he realised it. And he was going to fix it—all of it.

He could start by eliminating the reason why he kept making the same mistakes.

A minute later, Luna returned to the room. The sight of Jungkook sitting on the floor with his eyes closed made her look twice as she felt her heart drop in sudden anxiety.

She thought about turning around and looking for you, because you had a lot more patience to deal with this than she thought she did. But then, she knew that another argument was the last thing you or Jungkook needed right now.

She took a deep breath and approached him.

“Here,” she said as she grabbed another towel and squatted down next to him with the few band-aids that, frankly, seemed meagre when she saw the cuts and bruises on his face up close. “Let me help you.”

Jungkook had only briefly opened his eyes to look at her and then closed them again.

“Thank you,” he said as she wiped more blood from the side of his face before applying the band-aid. She didn’t mean to be gentle. She wanted him to understand how much he’d messed up. But her movements ended up being tentative and careful anyway.

“Don’t thank me,” she said, biting her lip as the blood immediately seeped through the band-aids. They would not hold; they both knew that. She sighed and pulled away from him. “She will see this. You will have to argue with her again. I can’t help you with that.”

He nodded his head once. “I know.”

Luna rose and walked over to the back of the room, considering this. She leaned her hip against the table and looked back at him.

“I don’t, um—okay. For what it’s worth,” she said, resting her hands on the table on either side of her. “I don’t think she’ll quit. Not even over this.”

“You really believe that?” Jungkook asked, opening his eyes. The hope in them was so bright that it was almost blinding.

Luna nodded. “She loves the band too much. Not even you can change that.”

He looked down. That would have to be good enough, he decided—just the fact that you would stay, even if it wasn’t for him. Even if it was despite him.

“I-I hope you’re right,” he said quietly.

“Okay, so now—” Luna jumped onto the table to take a seat, “—tell me what happened with Sid.”

Ordinarily, this would have been a long story. But Jungkook knew Taehyung might have made telling it a bit easier for him.

“Taehyung said you know about the bet?” he asked to be sure.

“Yeah. He told me back in Tilburg after he saw you leave with her to talk. Or, well, he assumed you would talk,” Luna explained. “In any case, you should be grateful that I know my strengths. Otherwise, I’d be punching you, too.”

Considering how much smaller than him Luna was, Jungkook smiled reflexively.

“I appreciate you not doing that,” he said with genuine respect.

“I’ve mentally kicked your ass, though.”

“Well, I deserve that, I guess.”

“So, this was about the bet, then?”

Jungkook sighed. He hadn’t technically allowed Sid to say any additional adjectives after he’d called you “easy,” but even this was too much. Jungkook wasn’t sure if he could talk about it without wanting to rip Sid’s eyes out and feed them to him.

“He was… just riling me up. He said some—some things,” he said, choosing a gentler word, even though several more appropriate expletives came to mind. “And he took it too far. Trust me, he deserved to get hit.”

“Oh, I trust you,” Luna said. “I just don’t think you should have been the one to hit him.”

Jungkook swallowed, feeling a metallic taste in his mouth. It didn’t bother him much. He’d tasted worse in the past few days.

“If I didn’t do it,” he said, “no one else would have.”

“Why are you so sure about that?” Luna asked, her voice less confident.

Most of what she knew about Jungkook and Sid came from questionable fan accounts she’d seen online—the stories she read were almost always outrageous, but now that she’d gotten to know Sid on this tour, she found those accounts much more plausible. Surely then, if Sid was this loathsome to everyone, someone was bound to deck him sooner or later.

“Everyone else is afraid of him,” Jungkook replied.

“And you’re not?” she asked.

The question felt mocking—even though it didn’t sound like that was Luna’s intention.

He thumped his head against the wall. “I don’t know anything anymore.”

The room was silent for a few minutes as Jungkook sat motionless, and Luna’s gaze kept wandering to the pile of towels on the bloodstained floor and then back to his resigned figure against the wall.

“Can I ask you something?” she said then.

His voice was tired. “Yeah.”

“Why did you make this bet in the first place?”

He inhaled, and a sharp, stabbing pain shot up from his lungs to his throat. It probably wasn’t a good sign, but he did not have the energy to worry about it at the moment.

He scratched the uninjured side of his face with his hand—his knuckles bruised and torn—and let his fingers linger there. It was a reflexive reaction, Luna observed, as he tried to hide from her. Or, rather, from her question.

“I don’t know,” he finally said. “Sid and Jude were getting in my head about how I was like some—I don’t know, pathetic. They made me feel like I was less of a person because I still had feelings for her.”

“Less of a person,” Luna said, “or less of an asshole that they seem to be trying—and succeeding—to be?”

Jungkook sighed, allowing the pins and needles to settle in his oesophagus. He wanted to say something but swallowed the answer with the bitter taste in his mouth.

“So, you made the bet to prove them wrong?” she asked in response to his silence.

“I—I don’t know,” he said again. He sometimes felt like he was a different person when he was with his friends. And now that he was determined to never see Sid again—but the repercussions of their friendship were still evident—Jungkook didn’t know who he really was anymore. “I think, at first, I agreed to the bet to prove a point.”

Luna raised her eyebrows. “But there was another reason?”

“Yeah, I think that… there was something else,” he said with a slow nod. “I realised later that I might have agreed to the bet because I wanted to win it. Not—not for the money, and not just to prove that I wasn’t pathetic. I just really—I wanted to go on that date with her. I wanted her. And the bet was—it was a kick in my ass to finally act on my feelings.”

Luna’s eyebrows suddenly dropped in disappointment and she turned away to hide her expression, even though Jungkook was too weary to lift his head and look up.

“There were better ways to act on them, you know,” she said. “Less painful ways, too.”

“Oh, I know,” he said with a wry smile. “Unfortunately, I’m fucked up.”

“You… you’re not fucked up,” she said, although to be honest, after learning about the bet, she thought he might be. But now that she saw how much his choices tormented him, she realised that he wasn’t all black and white. He was very, very grey. “You just did a fucked-up thing.”

Jungkook snickered weakly. “That’s nice of you to say. But I was always… I’d always been a problem.”

“Because of your friends?”

“Yeah—well, mostly, yeah. B-but she—” he paused here as another jolt of pain shot through his chest at the mention of you. He filled his lungs completely with another sharp intake of breath, then tried again. “She still—she still loved me. You know? I used to look at my friends and think I had nothing compared to them. But then I met her, and I—I had everything. I didn’t deserve her, but I—she was with me. She wanted to be with me. And she was the one good thing in my life. And I took that for granted. And now that I—now that we… anyway. I blew it. Now I really have nothing. Serves me right, I know. I just wish she wasn’t—I wish I hadn’t hurt her.”

Luna closed her eyes and sighed in response to the endless additions that Jungkook could not seem to control as he spoke.

She felt a little upset, she couldn’t help it. But she also felt a little giddy. She’d never heard Jungkook say these things about you, but she’d suspected that was how he felt all along.

However, she wasn’t one to make empty promises, especially when those promises were not within her control, so she could not say things like ‘you two will be fine’ or ‘you didn’t blow it.’

Honestly, she couldn’t find an appropriate response no matter how much she tried, so for a good minute, the two of them sat in silence.

Then, Jungkook finally raised his eyes from the ground. “Why’d you come here, by the way? I thought everyone was on the bus.”

Luna blinked, remembering suddenly.

“I left my phone here after the show,” she said, instinctively checking her pockets to make sure she really did not have it.

“Oh.” He pointed to the opposite side of the room. “I think I heard it vibrate. On the couch.”

“Ah.” She pushed herself off the table. “Thanks.”

He watched through his eyelashes as she picked up her phone. One of his eyelids was dropping and he was afraid to blink.

When Luna glanced at the screen—and probably saw the missed call from Taehyung—Jungkook said, “you should go.”

She turned around and took in the scene in the room once more.

It was miserable here. Jungkook looked miserable.

“I’m sorry I can’t say anything encouraging,” she said, biting her lip. “She’s my friend. And you’ve done a—well, this isn’t good.”

Jungkook nodded and swallowed, but it didn’t soothe his dry throat. “I know.”

“I’d like to help, but I—I’m always going to be on her side.”

“Of course. I understand.”

Luna sighed, because he had claimed he understood, but still looked as if happiness was a concept he’d never experienced in his life.

“I just—I don’t know what to tell you before I go,” she admitted. She knew she didn’t owe him anything, but leaving him here in this state didn’t feel right, either. She had always been compassionate, but the intensity of it surprised her this time. “I don’t know what she’ll do. A-about you, I mean. Not about Reconnaissance.”

Jungkook considered this. The side of his head felt torn and cracked. The poor band-aids were already dark red.

“What would you do?” he asked.

Luna raised her eyebrows at the abrupt question. “Me?”

“If you were her,” Jungkook explained. “Or if I were Taehyung.”

She licked her lips, taking a moment to choose her next words.

“Jungkook,” she said. “No offence, but Taehyung would never do something so stupid.”

A defeated, humourless smile appeared on his lips. “Yeah. You’re right. He wouldn’t.”

As soon as the tiniest glimmer of hope in his eyes dimmed, his voice sounded as if it was coming from somewhere underground.

God, Luna thought. Now the room was even more dreary.

Even though she was going to support whatever decision you would make about this, she couldn’t just leave without saying anything to him. Having no one on his side while he tried to redeem himself was unfair.

Advice, she figured, had to be the best thing she could offer him right now.

“Listen,” she said with a determined inhale. “I can’t judge what I would do if I were her because I don’t share her memories. I don’t know what happened between you all those years ago. Or even what’s happening now. But… if I were you, I’d give her some time.”

Jungkook nodded, looking at her with what he hoped was a grateful smile.

“Interestingly enough, that’s what your boyfriend told me,” he said.

“Yeah? Well, he gives great advice.”

The corners of his lips stretched further. “Matching set, you two.”

Luna slid her phone into her pocket and grabbed her bag, zipping up the pocket where she had kept the band-aids.

“Just be careful, okay?” she said. “We’re leaving for the airport soon, so don’t stay here too long. Don’t make her look for you. I’ll, um—I’ll try to do damage control.”

“Okay. Thank—”

Before Jungkook could finish, the door of the changing room opened wider, diverting their attention.

They both turned to look with very different expressions on their faces—Luna was already scowling, thinking that Sid had come back. Jungkook, on the other hand, appeared absolutely terrified, thinking that it was you, about to witness him sitting on the bloody floor—literally—with band-aids on his face.

“Oh,” a gasp left Minjun’s lips as he stopped in the doorway. “Sorry, I was—”

“It’s fine,” Jungkook said, immensely relieved. “You can come in.”

“Hold on,” Luna warned. Minjun remained frozen under her gaze. “Will I have to intervene? Because I think we’ve spilt enough blood already.”

Minjun raised his eyebrows. “Whose blood?”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Jungkook said to the girl. “Thank you, Luna.”

She watched the two of them for another minute until Jungkook nodded reassuringly again. Hesitantly, she nodded back and gave Minjun a pointed look.

“Okay. But you watch your hands,” she warned. “He has to be on stage tomorrow.”

“I—I mean no harm.” Minjun raised both hands, taken aback by her hostility. “I don’t know what happened here, but I’m—I come in peace.”

“Good,” Luna said with a firm nod. She glanced back over her shoulder at Jungkook. “I’ll see you later. Put some ice on your eye when you get back on the bus. It won’t do much for the colour, but it might help with the swelling.”

“Will do,” he said and called out as she exited the room, “thank you again!”

After Luna had left, Minjun entered the room and closed the door behind him. Only then he noticed the bloody towels and the dirty floor. Squinting, he leant forward a little and detected something else between the towels.

“So,” he said, straightening. “What the fuck happened and whose tooth is that on the floor?”

Jungkook snorted. “Sid’s.”

Minjun’s face lit up with childlike glee. “No fucking way! Did you do it?”

“Yeah,” Jungkook said with a grin that made him look vaguely menacing, considering how bruised and battered his face was.

“Awesome, man,” Minjun said, coming closer to pat him on the back before squatting next to him.

“He deserved it.”

“I don’t even care, to be honest. I’m impressed.”

“Yeah. Well.” Jungkook lifted a hand to gesture at his own face. “He’s landed some good ones, too.”

Minjun observed his bruises and the bloody band-aids that seemed quite small for a normal cut, but remained remarkably resilient on his fresh wounds.

“You’ll live,” he concluded.

Jungkook turned to him. A little awkwardly, he asked, “why, um… why are you here?”

“Ah.” Minjun reached into his pocket for something. “Here.”

Jungkook immediately recognised the keys to his Katana in his friend’s palm.

Speechless for a minute, he just stared at Minjun’s hand without moving. He had a feeling—against his better judgement—that this was a trap. That by taking the keys, he’d sign something else to the devil.

“What—?” he tried to ask.

“Take it,” Minjun urged, wishing to relieve himself of the unwanted weight of the keys in his hand.

“But the bet—”

“Fuck the bet,” he said, waving his palm up and down when Jungkook still didn’t reach for it. “It went too far.”

“Sid,” Jungkook began, hesitation and doubt evident in every centimetre of his face, “didn’t agree to this.”

“Yeah, and I’m sure Sid’s mother didn’t agree to give birth to a fucking clown, but shit happens,” Minjun countered. “Take the damn keys.”

Jungkook finally extended his shaking hand and felt the familiar cold metal under his fingertips. He paused before pulling back with the keys.

The Katana was his. But instead of relief, he felt a new weight in his chest.

“Why?” he asked, looking down at the key ring, adorned with a gaudy, jewelled pendant with the initials “JK.” It was a trinket you had bought him during a drunken escapade at a local fair. He still remembered your delighted squeal when you spotted the two letters in one of the jewellery stands.

“Because this is stupid and pointless,” Minjun said. His legs had gone numb, so he mirrored Jungkook’s position and sat down on the floor, leaning his back against the wall. “Some fucking bet is not worth ruining your relationship over.”

With a small smile on his face—because they were two miserable losers, hanging out on the floor of his band’s changing room—Jungkook clutched the keys and pushed them into his own pocket.

“Thank you,” he said.

“I’m sorry I didn’t do it earlier,” Minjun said. “I was afraid, I guess. Of what Sid would do if I went against his wishes. But then I… came to pick you up from that hotel bar in Tilburg—”

“That was you?” Jungkook cut him off. He had been wondering how he ended up back on the tour bus.

“Yeah,” Minjun replied. “You called me and asked to take the bike back to the rental shop because you couldn’t do it anymore. Man, I swear, I thought you were on some bridge, the way you phrased it.”

Jungkook looked away. He was not in a good place when he called his friend, and alcohol must have exaggerated it. “Sorry.”

“You still looked worse than I expected when I got there,” Minjun continued. “I thought I might have to take you to a hospital to have your stomach pumped, and I don’t fucking speak Dutch. Nor did I know where a fucking hospital was in Tilburg.”

Jungkook laughed at his rising tone, and Minjun smiled, too.

The smile turned ironic, however, when he added, “you threw up on my shoes.”

Jungkook, who never got drunk enough to experience a hangover the next day, let alone throw up, raised his eyebrows in surprise.

“I don’t remember that,” he said, meaning that it didn’t happen.

Minjun ignored the dismissive tone in his voice—he had a ruined pair of Converse to prove his accusation.

“Lucky you then,” he retorted. “You regained some colour after that, though. But you wouldn’t stop talking about her. It was like—like you couldn’t understand anything of what was happening, but you could still remember her. It hit me then, how little the bet really mattered. I mean, I always thought it was stupid, but that night, I—I saw what you were feeling. You regretted everything. I wanted to give you the keys right then, but you looked like you couldn’t recognise yourself in the mirror, so I just dropped you off on the bus. One of your—Hoseok was awake. He thanked me.”

Jungkook needed a minute to reflect on the conversation he’d had with Hoseok later that same morning.

“He didn’t tell me,” he said.

Minjun shrugged. “He had nothing to thank me for, anyway. I’m your friend. Sorry I didn’t act like it before.”

This was the first time that one of his friends had apologised to him, and Jungkook recognised the significance of the moment. He realised with blinding clarity that out of the three people he had invited as his personal guests on this tour, there was only one he truly wanted to stay here.

“Yeah,” Jungkook said, a little overwhelmed. “I’m—thanks for doing this now.”

Minjun nodded and the two of them shared a moment of comfortable silence. But Jungkook couldn’t quiet his thoughts—Sid wasn’t here, but he still couldn’t shake his presence.

“There was something that Sid said to me today,” he spoke up. “I-I think he likes her.”

“What?” Minjun was surprised. He glanced back at the tooth on the floor in front of him. “What’d he say?”

“He—just some shit.” Jungkook looked down and pulled on a loose thread on his sweatpants. “About how he could have convinced her to date him.”

Minjun blinked in another wave of surprise. He had a very different understanding of what Sid felt for you and Jungkook, but now he was confused.

“He’s just trying to get under your skin,” he tried to rationalise.

“No, but think about it,” Jungkook said. “Why else would he go to such great lengths to persuade me to participate in this bet? To force me to continue it after I’d clearly won?”

Again, Minjun needed a minute to find a response.

Jungkook clicked his tongue and looked away. “See, you can’t disagree.”

“I mean…” Minjun bit the corner of his lower lip. “I guess it makes sense, but—”

“I know that she wouldn’t consider him in a million years,” Jungkook added. “I’m not even thinking about that, I’m just… wow. How fucking stupid. He ruined this for himself and for me.”

His friend sighed. He didn’t want to keep talking about this. “Yeah.”

“And I let him,” Jungkook finished.

“Yeah,” Minjun repeated. “He deserved getting his tooth knocked out. And you deserve the swollen eye.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows and puckered his lips. He wasn’t going to disagree, and Minjun smiled in relief when he saw the humour in his friend’s eyes.

This had to happen, Minjun thought. Jungkook wouldn’t have been able to move on if he had not found another way to prove that his own self—and his relationship with you—was the one thing he would never lose, no matter how hard Sid tried.

“What, um,” Jungkook asked after a minute, “what are you going to do when Sid asks about the keys after the bet is over?”

Minjun, feeling much more relaxed, merely shrugged. “Knock another one of his teeth out?”

Jungkook laughed and smacked his friend on the shoulder, despite the pain in his head when he moved.

“Oh, come on,” Minjun said, grinning. “He still has, like, fifteen left.”

“I’m sure he has more left. Implants or not.”

“Now, see, implants are harder to knock out. We’d have to meet and discuss the logistics of that. Perhaps attack in secret.”

Jungkook laughed again, and Minjun joined in, too.

They both felt significantly better.

However, Jungkook still had a lot of things to take care of as soon as he got up from the floor.

He should have told you about the bet earlier, but he hadn’t. All he could do now was make amends for a lapse in judgement with terrible consequences.

No.

There would be no consequences. He would make sure to never hurt you again.

And he’d begin by following through with his plan.

Jungkook asked Minjun to give him some time alone and found his phone in the pocket of his sweatpants. He dialled Seokjin’s number, and Seokjin referred him to the Head of Security on tour, Mick.

Mick was lovely. He fostered pets and looked after injured animals in his cabin on the edge of the forest, where he lived with his three dogs. Jungkook had visited him once and felt very much like he imagined Harry Potter to feel when he saw Hagrid’s hut for the first time.

Mick was also three times larger than Jungkook. His primary responsibility on tour was preventing intoxicated individuals from climbing onto the stage and ensuring trespassers did not decide to have an excursion on the band’s tour bus.

Now, Jungkook decided as he spelled Sid’s name to Mick over the phone, Mick was going to make sure that Isidore Hamlet Mercer-Hastings—a name that likely had Shakespeare himself rolling in his grave—could not enter any venue where Rated Riot was scheduled to perform.

It wasn’t quite as dramatic as a restraining order, Jungkook supposed. But blacklisting Sid from his gigs seemed like a good start.

Half an hour later, Jungkook had barricaded himself behind the curtains in his bunk. He was fully awake but he didn’t want you to see what he looked like.

Naturally, you had assumed he was sleeping and had no reason to talk to him anyway, so you kept yourself busy with an e-book in your bunk as the bus made its way to the airport.

Then, most unfortunately, your relative peace was disturbed when you received a text message from Nick Zhou. It was as if he could sense the terrible turmoil in your mind and your heart, and he wanted to add more fuel to the fire.

Things like that happened sometimes, you thought. Coincidences—unless you decided to treat them as signs.

Nick had sent you a picture of the perfectly green palm trees visible through a window. You zoomed in and assumed that he had taken the picture somewhere in Australia, where Reconnaissance were currently on tour.

In the text below, Nick said, “new album in progress. Would be nice to have you with us when we put it out!”

Anxious suddenly, you considered putting your phone away and just carrying on with your e-book. But your uncertainty was relentless—maybe if you replied to him, you’d gain a clearer understanding of what you should do.

You typed back, “hope you’re having fun! I’m still thinking about it.”

Then you exhaled and tossed your phone to the farthest corner of your bunk so as not to be bothered in case it vibrated again. Texting him back didn’t work. You felt just as tense as before.

You exhaled and attempted to keep reading, but silence was simply not meant for you today.

With the flight to Manchester only five hours away, Luna decided it was a good time to discuss with you what had happened in the changing room.

“Hey,” she whispered as she crept up to your bunk, moving stealthily and quietly as if she were a secret agent on a mission.

You looked up at her from your screen. “Hi.”

She wanted to talk to you, but now that she was doing it—or getting to it—she didn’t quite know how to proceed; or even where to begin, actually.

“So, um,” she said, sitting down on your bunk and taking her time to find a comfortable position. You put your tablet away and watched her. “I wanted to check up on you a little.”

You smirked. “Yeah? But not a lot?”

“Not yet.” She smiled at your teasing question. “You’re not critical, but I do think I have some cause for concern.”

You pulled yourself up and pushed a pillow behind your back to sit straighter. “What makes you think that?”

“Well, you and Jungkook seem to be avoiding each other.”

You regarded her for a minute until you reached the inevitable conclusion—you suspected it yesterday, and now Luna’s knowing gaze fully convinced you that it was true.

“You know about the bet,” you said.

Luna looked around. No one on the bus appeared to be listening. Nearly everyone that she could see either had headphones on, or had their curtains drawn.

She glanced back at you and settled her gaze on the corner of your dark brown blanket.

“Yes,” she admitted. “I found out about it at the same time as you, more or less. Jungkook had, um—he’d talked to Taehyung before he told you.”

“Ah,” you said. “Well, that’s—I’m glad we all know, then.”

Luna noted the imperceptible look in your eyes. She wasn’t sure if you’d meant what you said.

Really, you weren’t sure, either. On the one hand, you were relieved that you wouldn’t have to retell what had happened to your friend. You weren’t sure you’d manage.

But on the other hand, the fact that other people knew about the bet did not feel particularly comforting—because this was one of the situations that you’d been desperate to avoid: your relationship with Jungkook getting so out of hand that the people around you began to talk about it.

However, you had been thinking a lot in the last few days and you realised that learning about the bet had helped you find some relief, too.

There was something bothering you for weeks now, something that was off in your surroundings, and now you finally knew what it was. It felt like a crooked picture frame on the wall. Like a non-alphabetical arrangement of books on a shelf. Like a bet about your relationship.

And now that you knew, the world had realigned again. You would have been able to breathe easier if you weren’t so embarrassed that other members of your team also knew about it.

“Well, aside from that,” Luna went on, keeping a careful eye on any changes in your expression. “I talked to Jungkook today. And I’m not defending him—”

“If you say ‘but’ next,” you interrupted, “that will negate your point, you know.”

“However,” Luna said instead and you rolled your eyes. “I think the bet is only half the picture. I mean, it’s shit. He fucked up. But I think that he’s been with you because he really wanted to be. Not because of the bet.”

If you had shaken your head any more vigorously, it might have flown off. Luna was slightly annoyed by your adamant rejection of everything she was saying—which made it easier for her to tell you the news.

“He fought Sid,” she said.

You frowned. “So?”

“Knocked his tooth out, I think.”

Your frown turned into shock as your eyebrows shot up nearly all the way to your hairline. When Luna said that they fought, you obviously did not expect it to be a physical altercation.

“They fought?” you repeated.

“Yeah. Because Sid can’t keep his mouth shut,” she said. “Jungkook loathes the guy. I don’t know what sort of friendship they had before, but there’s none of that left. If I hadn’t walked in, I don’t know—I mean, he—he hates him.” Luna swallowed here, figuring that additional details might make it harder for her to make her point. “But more than that, it looked to me like Jungkook just hates himself. Now, what you want to do next, that’s up to you. I just wanted to tell you what I thought. I talked to him. He was miserable.”

“Well.” You swallowed. “He lost the bet.”

“Not about the bet. He has feelings for you. Real feelings.”

“How—”

“Don’t ask me how I know that,” she cut you off before you could ask exactly that. “These things you can just see. And it’s especially obvious in him. Because, look… Here are the facts. He had the option to keep the bet a secret from you. Or he could have gotten back together with you and won the bet. If not, he could have waited for this to pass, or until his friends told you. But he was the one who told you that he fucked up. That’s got to count for something. It’s okay if it’s not enough. But it—well, it sort of feels like a start. Because he finally got it through his thick head that this is what matters. You. He loves you.”

Your skin shivered—an automatic reaction to these words—but you scoffed. “And knocking out Sid’s tooth is a way to show it.”

Luna groaned and was about to protest, but you stopped her by shaking your head again.

“Luna—I mean—thank you, but… this is the same shit again,” you said. “The exact same shit that made us break up the first time. Except now, there’s so much more at stake. It’s no longer just about us.”

“Is it?” she asked. “Is it, really? I mean, I understand why you would think that, considering your—uh, your job. But it’s… Really, it’s just you. The two of you. As it’s always been.”

You sighed and pulled the sleeves of your turtleneck down until you could hide your fists in them. You kept your gaze on the blanket beneath you—undoubtedly disagreeing with her again—and Luna let out a soft, tired breath.

“I’m—whatever you do next, I’ll be on your side,” she said. “If you walk away, I walk away. It’s simple. I just think it’d do you two good to talk this out. When you’re ready. So that you would know what you’re walking away from.”

You were starting to shake your head again, but stopped abruptly, realising the futility of it. You weren’t actually disagreeing with Luna’s point, after all.

“It would be good,” you said. “But I don’t want to talk to him about this. This was a mistake from the very beginning.”

“So… what, then?” she asked, worried about the burden of even more unresolved feelings that you would have to carry around every day if you allowed this to linger. If this became another thing that you never talked to anyone about. “You think you can just go back to the way things were?”

“No,” you said. “Because I’m still very annoyed. But after that, then yeah. Ideally.”

Luna tried to conceal her skepticism, but it was evident in the way she sucked in her lips and nodded her head. “Okay.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Thanks for the optimism?”

She sighed and turned to face you again.

“I get it,” she said. “I understand why you don’t want to see him right now. But I also… kind of understand why he did what he did.”

Your eyebrows rose again. “Why he made the bet?”

“No,” she said, raising her index finger and closing her eyes to emphasise her point. “Not that. That I don’t understand. I meant the fight with Sid. Sid is a big reason why you’re in this situation and Jungkook had no other choice left. He got into that fight because he’s shit at choosing friends, but he loves you.”

You ran your tongue over your lips and looked back down at your blanket. “I don’t know which one of those things outweighs the other one.”

“Yeah, well, think about that,” she said. “Then talk to him.”

You were both aware that giving this advice was much easier than actually following it, and a silent minute passed without either of you looking at each other as you pondered the future.

“Nick texted me,” you said suddenly. You hadn’t realised how much his message weighed on you until you told her. “Just to check in. And, uh, to remind me of his—his offer.”

Luna did not like this, and she was glad you weren’t looking at her and didn’t see the expression on her face.

“What did you tell him?” she asked.

“I told him I’m still thinking about it.”

You felt Luna shifting her weight and fidgeting on the bunk next to you. She was uncomfortable, you could tell.

“You’re, uh… you’re really thinking about this, then?” she asked.

You threw your head back and rested it on the pillow. “I’m thinking about a lot these days.”

“Well, that’s—that’s good. Right?” she said, quietly hoping that your contemplations would eventually lead you to a decision that would cause you less suffering. She didn’t think leaving Rated Riot was that decision. You had made a family here. “Take your time with these things. Really think them through. Avoid everyone for a short while if that’s what you need.”

“Hmm. How can I avoid everyone, though?” you asked dryly. “If Jungkook got into a fight, I need to see him.”

“Ah.” Luna finally looked at you, feeling guilty somehow, as if she was the one who had punched him. “Yeah, that’s probably true. He, um—it’s not a disaster, but he did miss a couple of, uh—”

“Is he bleeding?” you asked, appreciating her effort to convey the situation without causing you alarm, but also without downplaying it.

“Well, not anymore,” she said. “At least, he wasn’t the last time I saw him. There is a, um—a black eye situation, though.”

You groaned and dropped your hands on the mattress in irritation.

“Fuck—you see? He’s doing it again. Leaving me no choice but to—oh, fuck it.” You slapped your hands on your knees and sat up straight. “He’ll have to wait until we arrive at the airport. I’m done jumping at the slightest sound he makes, manager or not.”

“I agree with that,” Luna said. “But I see that you don’t really mean it.”

You closed your eyes. “I have to mean it. I know it’s my job, and I know Jungkook never forced me into anything I didn’t consent to, but he just—this whole time, he acted like he was genuine when he was just doing what he always does. Playing along with Sid’s sick little games. Maybe he deserves to bleed a little for that.”

Luna was about to argue, but only nodded. She was very glad you were talking about this, even though you had dismissed everything she’d told you about Jungkook’s feelings.

She knew that you needed more time. You’d heard her. You just had to be in the right frame of mind to believe her.

She knew you’d get there, just as she knew Jungkook was not going to give up on you.

“Yeah,” Luna finally said. “He can wait. Do you... want to talk about it? About what he did?”

You looked murderous. “Absolutely not.”

She expected as much.

“Well, in that case,” she pulled her phone out, “you want to see something that Crowley did to my mum’s curtains? She took a video to show me.”

Your tension seemed to fade straight away. Luna’s troublemaker cat—named aptly after a Supernatural character with a redemption arc that Crowley, the cat, could only dream about—had never failed to ease your mind.

You needed some time alone. And you were very happy to be alone with her as she stretched out on the mattress next to you and played the video on her phone.

You caught glimpses of Jungkook and his heavy sunglasses on the way to your gate at the airport, but you didn’t have the time to check how bad he looked. The other Rated Riot members had already smacked him on the back of his head after they saw his band-aids, so you decided to wait until you could talk to him in private.

About an hour later, you spotted him going to the men’s room. You waited a few minutes and stood up, too.

The restroom was empty except for the two of you, and you quietly placed your carry-on bag on the ground next to the door. Jungkook hadn’t even noticed you enter.

“There you are,” you announced from the doorway.

Jungkook flinched and splashed himself as he washed his hands in front of the wall-sized mirror.

“You were—were you looking for me?” he asked. The automatic sink stopped and he moved his hands back under the faucet to get the water running again.

“I’ve been informed you have a black eye,” you said, coming closer. “I wanted to check the damage myself.”

The side of his face that was visible to you showed no signs of injury, but when you looked at his reflection in the mirror, you saw the red and purple bruises on the side of his face, concealed by a few persistent band-aids.

Jungkook swallowed and shook his hands several times to dry them. Then, he stepped back, allowing you to examine him. “Well, here I am.”

“Here you are,” you repeated. His gaze remained fixed on yours as you scanned his features. “Want to tell me what happened?”

“Not really,” he said. “Want to tell me if you’re leaving to work with Reconnaissance?”

“Not really.”

He pursed his lips. “Well, then. Can I ask—”

“No,” you said immediately. He stopped speaking and clenched his jaw.

You were contemplating if you should have taken him to the hospital before the flight. You were also thinking about what to do with his bruises tomorrow since he had a performance, and appearing on stage with a black eye did not seem particularly professional.

“Does it hurt?” you asked. “These band-aids—did you change them?”

“No,” he said. It wasn’t clear which question he was responding to, but his answer seemed to fit both.

“You need to change them,” you said. “And clean the wounds properly.”

“I’m not going to a hospital.”

You sighed. “Why not?”

“Because it’s not that bad,” he said.

You looked back at the band-aids on the side of his face. They remained on his skin through the sheer force of will. Cuts and bruises peeked from underneath the dried blood.

“It looks bad with band-aids on,” you said. “I can only imagine what it looks like without.”

“It’s fine,” he insisted. “Luna said so.”

You knew right away that this was impossible; Luna would have known better.

“She said no such thing,” you replied.

“Okay, maybe she didn’t,” he conceded with a quiet groan. “But I’m still not going to the hospital.”

The irony of the moment—and how you’d insisted that you were okay a few days ago, just like he was doing now—was completely lost on you. You felt exhausted.

“Why…” you started to say, then sighed as you brought your fingers over your closed eyes. “Why are you making me do this?”

“Do what?”

“Clean your self-destructive wounds.”

“They’re not self-destructive—”

“Really?” Your eyes shot open, ablaze with agitation. “So, getting punched by Sid was, what? A fight for dominance that you’d planned in advance?”

He cleared his throat with indignation and continued his previous statement, “and I’m not making you clean my wounds. I’m fine.”

“Sit down,” you said, turning to grab your carry-on bag. “You’re not fine.”

Awkwardly swaying in the same spot, Jungkook looked around. “Where do you want me to sit? We’re in a public bathroom.”

“Jesus, Jungkook!” you groaned irritably. You were too tired to think of every little detail, every action, and reaction. You just wanted to take a nap on the plane. “I don’t care. Sit on the floor. Or on the toilet.”

“Neither seems sterile…”

“Good thing you didn’t get punched in the ass, then.”

He huffed but still went into one of the cubicles, lowered the toilet lid with a scrunched nose and sat down on it.

He leaned over to hold the door open with his hand until you entered a few minutes later. Before either of you could grasp how small the space was now that you were in the closed cubicle, you took out the antiseptic spray from your amateur medical kit and grabbed a cotton pad. By that point, Jungkook was too worried about what you’d do to think about how close you were.

“Do you know what you’re doing?” he asked.

Concerned, he watched you pull a blue latex glove on one of your hands and spray the antiseptic into the air, aiming it at the floor to test it.

“No,” you admitted, taking a step towards him and stopping between his legs. With your gloved hand, you carefully peeled off the heavy band-aids from his face and tossed them into an empty plastic bag you’d brought for this specific purpose. “But neither did you when you picked a fight with Sid, so I think we’re even.”

He grimaced as the exposed lacerations on his skin immediately began to sting. “W-what makes you think I was the one who started that fight?”

“The fact that you won’t tell me what it was about,” you replied, bending your knees slightly to inspect his face. You were willing to help him look after his wounds, but changing the bandages was as far as you’d go—if he needed stitches, you’d drag him to the nearest emergency room.

“You know what it was about,” he mumbled, staring at the floor.

“I don’t.”

He didn’t want to say it. You knew he didn’t want to say it—that was why you were making him do it.

“It started about the bet,” he admitted finally. “But then he… said some things I didn’t like. Not that I liked what he said about the bet, either. But I got myself into that mess, so I—”

“What did he say?” you asked, interrupting his diversion.

You covered his left eye with a cotton pad to protect it, shook the bottle of antiseptic a few times, and sprayed it on the exposed wounds.

Jungkook winced as he felt the stinging pain grow sharper. He clutched the lid of the toilet seat, forgetting all about how he’d avoided touching it before.

“Just… some bullshit about you,” he said through clenched teeth.

Surprised, you pulled back to look at him. “He said something about me?”

“Yeah. So I socked him in the cheek.”

You watched him for a quiet minute.

Honestly, if Sid had said something about you, you probably would have punched him yourself if Jungkook hadn’t. But the way Jungkook phrased this—and this whole situation, in general—was so ridiculous that you had to bite the inside of your cheek to maintain a straight face.

“In the mouth,” you corrected. “Or so I hear.”

Jungkook couldn’t subdue the smile on his lips at the amusement that you tried very hard to hide. So, you knew about Sid’s tooth then.

“That was after he wouldn’t stop talking,” he said.

“Ah. Well,” you returned to work and gently patted his cheek with the cotton pad to remove the excess antiseptic, “I appreciate you defending my honour.”

“You don’t sound like it.”

You scoffed. “What do you want me to do? Jump on your white horse and ride off into the sunset with you?”

The light-hearted tone of your voice suddenly amplified your close proximity—he felt his legs tremble slightly as you stood between them to reach his face better. He wanted to reach out and wrap himself around you, to thank you, and to apologise again.

Instead, he cleared his throat and lowered his gaze.

“Well, that’d be nice,” he muttered. Then, added louder, “or, at the very least, you could stop burning me.”

“I’m disinfecting,” you said as you leaned in again, checking if the spray had absorbed into his bruises yet. His breath caught in his throat. You added, “I think.”

Jungkook didn’t think he’d ever felt a longing so intense that it could overshadow all physical pain.

“You think,” he repeated breathlessly. “Th—that’s reassuring.”

“It’s what my mum used to use when my brother and I would get cuts or scratches, and things like that,” you explained defensively. “Of course, this is hardly a scratch in your case, but I have nothing better to offer.”

He didn’t mean to come across as accusatory. He didn’t know what he was saying at all. You still smelled like apples. He was afraid he would pass out.

“This is fine,” he said.

He knew that you were already doing more than your job description entailed and your personal relationship permitted, and he was grateful for it. He hadn’t meant to cause you any additional problems, and he wanted to inform you of the steps he’d taken to fix the ones he’d already caused.

He waited until you had finished searching through your medical kit before speaking again.

“I, um—I banned Sid from Rated Riot shows,” he said.

You turned to look at him so quickly that a tired muscle in your neck spasmed in protest. “What?”

“Yeah,” he said. “Mick will take care of it if he shows up.”

“Mick—you banned Sid?”

“I banned Sid,” he repeated slowly, giving you a minute to process the news. “It’s done. I don’t—I never should have brought him to Europe with me.”

You straightened and attempted to compose yourself, but your mind was suddenly bombarding you with question marks and software errors every time you tried to form a coherent thought.

“Well, that’s—that’s right,” you finally said, clearing your throat. “And it’s about time you realised that.”

You didn’t know what else to say. Congratulating him right now, considering the repercussions of his last confrontation with Sid, seemed in poor taste.

Not to mention, you were a little confounded. After your last argument outside the bus, you’d expected a lot of drunk nights and a lot of new mayhem that you would have to put back in order. You weren’t expecting mature decisions.

Jungkook didn’t notice the utter shock in your voice, however, because his pulse tried to deafen him with a dreadful paranoia, telling him that this was too little and too late.

Notenough-notenough-notenough, the beat of his heart echoed in his ears.

“I know,” Jungkook said, louder than he’d intended. “I’m sorry it took me so long.”

You pulled out a new cotton pad and mumbled something under your breath.

Jungkook gazed up at you as you hovered over him with your medical kit. “Can I—can I ask you something, though?”

You gently wiped the side of his temple where the antiseptic had dripped, all while trying to calm down the chaos in your mind. “What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about Reconnaissance?”

There was a long pause as you returned to your kit—more for the purpose of giving yourself some time to think rather than out of necessity.

“I don’t know,” you finally said. “I wasn’t seriously considering it, and it never came up in a casual conversation.”

“We spent three days in Amsterdam, just the two of us,” he said. “How could it not come up?”

You gave him a look. “Really? You think you can ask me that when you knew—and participated—in the bet for weeks before telling me about it?”

Jungkook looked down. “It wasn��t weeks...”

“Well, fantastic.”

Unsettled by your sarcasm, he added, “and I told you, eventually.”

“No, I actually guessed it before you told me,” you said with one hand on your hip as you gazed at the restroom wall behind him, deep in thought. “I told you that you were only acting like that because of some external force. And you really were doing it to win a—”

“No.” He shook his head so fiercely that you almost worried he’d injure himself more. “The bet gave me a push. But I wanted you all along, and—”

“No,” you disagreed, turning away to throw the used cotton pads into the plastic bag. “You—just—just don’t.”

He already knew that this would be the wrong thing to say before he even said it. He simply couldn’t control himself—but he tried to now.

“I’m just—I’m trying to say that this hurt me, too,” he said slowly. “You’re—you might leave to work with a different band. A-and I was the only one who didn’t know about that.”

“I—”

“I know,” he continued louder, “that this is not the same as what I did. It’s not even close. But I still—I feel like this should have been something you talked to me about.”

You sighed and grabbed a glass bottle of iodine-based ointment from your bag. “It probably was.”

“Are you really considering it?” he asked. “Leaving, I mean.”

So much had changed since you told Maggie and Luna that you’d stay, and repeated the same to Yoongi and Namjoon.

All you could say to Jungkook now was a dejected, “I don’t know.”

The tight grip of pain around his chest did not ease, but he didn’t expect it to. Not yet, at least.

“I’m truly sorry,” he said, lifting his gaze. Both of you quickly averted your eyes as if the eye contact burnt. “For this and… for everything.”

You nodded in acknowledgement of the apology but did not reply to it.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Reconnaissance,” you said instead. “I wasn’t trying to hurt you.”

He nodded back and you continued to work in silence. You were glad that your current task required your full attention, so you did not have to linger on how wounded he looked—not just physically, but somehow intrinsically, too. If you glanced at him, all the tears and cuts and bruises on his heart would have been as visible as they were on his face.

You applied the ointment to his temple now that the antiseptic had dried—and Jungkook clenched his teeth again, keeping the painful hiss contained. The ointment was probably excessive, and it might dye his skin an odd shade of purple, but you didn’t know what else to do.

When you looked closer, his cuts didn’t appear deep enough to require stitches, so all you could do at the moment was ensure they didn’t become infected – and this questionable procedure should have accomplished that.

You pressed some gauze to the more severe wounds and bandaged them—as much as you could. You used smaller band-aids for the less serious cuts. Then, you stepped back to look.

This would need work. He looked like he slammed the side of his head into a wall and a toddler had attempted to provide first aid.

“This should hold for now before I come up with something else,” you said. “I have to go. I’ll need to find a way to incorporate this,” you gestured around his face, “into your look for tomorrow’s show.”

You turned to push the cubicle door open, then stopped short when you felt his cold, tentative fingers wrap around your wrist.

“Wait,” he said, releasing your hand as soon as he noticed you looking down at his grip. “Just… just tell me what’s going to happen.”

“With your face?” you asked with a confused frown. “It’s going to hurt for a while probably, but it—”

“With us,” he cut you off.

You looked away, maintaining your posture even as your heart refused to listen to your mind and proceeded to pound furiously in your chest.

“There’s no ‘us’,” you said.

“You can’t say that.” He stood up and suddenly reduced the empty space between you in the cubicle. “Not after everything that happened.”

‘Everything that happened’ seemed to have a bitter flavour—he could see the distaste on your face as your tongue prodded your cheek.

“It was obviously a mistake,” you said.

You remembered it all, you knew what it meant. But you didn’t want to trust any of the moments in your memory.

Jungkook could taste your bitterness in his own mouth.

You added ruthlessly, “and it’s over.”

“What’s over?” he asked. He tried to place a hand on his hip, but his trembling fingers slid down his hoodie and his hand dropped to his side.

“Whatever this is,” you said, and each of your following words felt like a new scratch deep inside of him. “Whatever you were doing to win your bet, and whatever I was stupidly playing along with.”

There was nothing but a few breaths separating the two of you in this cubicle, yet you may as well have been in a different orbit entirely. Desperate, Jungkook raised his hands to the back of his head and intertwined his fingers.

“I wasn’t—it wasn’t because of the bet,” he protested—not for the first time. With one more shake of your head, you turned around and pushed the door of the cubicle open. “Look, wait! I’m sorr—”

“It’s over, Jungkook,” you said, pausing halfway. “Stop.”

“How can it—I don’t—just—just tell me this one thing, okay? Before you go,” he pleaded, following you out of the cubicle and watching you toss your medical kit into your carry-on.

There was a hint of sadness in your eyes when you looked up. “What?”

“If there was no bet, wou—would you have agreed to be with me again?”

Your pulse reverberated in your mind, shrieking and piercing, as you shook your head and turned away.

“If there was no bet,” you said, “you wouldn’t have even wanted to be with me again.”

For a minute, you both watched the floor in thick, pain-coated silence. It consumed you, this otherworldly quietness—your thoughts stilled, even your bodies seemed to pause and wait.

That wasn’t true, Jungkook wanted to say—and should have said. But he was so tired of saying things and having to defend them, to prove he meant them.

He wondered if there was anything he could say to you from this point on that you would believe. He loved you so much—he’s never loved anyone else, the very idea of it did not seem possible—yet he made you think he wasn’t serious.

He watched you leave—again—and felt his chest shrink to accommodate the slowing of his heartbeat—again, again—as he struggled to inhale, let alone open his mouth—again, again, again—realising, slowly, that there might not be enough words in existence to fix this.

“I love you,” he still tried, but the restroom door had already closed and he wasn’t sure if you’d heard him. Or if it made a difference if you did.

There was something very ironic about the plans you had for the rest of the day once the plane landed in Manchester.

The concert was originally scheduled for tomorrow, but the venue had suffered a flood from a broken pipe a few nights ago, causing everything that the organisers had promised you to be ruined. They tried to fix it, but they needed some more time. You found out on the plane that the concert would have to be postponed until the day after tomorrow.

To make matters worse, Ren, the bassist of Poison Tongue—Rated Riot’s opening act—had broken his foot at the airport (you were afraid to ask how) and was hospitalised, rendering the band incapable of performing. You needed to find a replacement on extremely short notice.

This was a crisis, but only another one of many. You hadn’t slept at all on the plane, but despite your pounding headache, you were grateful for a chance to keep busy, and you had a precise plan of action.

You would find the venue staff and direct them to Seokjin—after checking if Seokjin was even here.

Next, you would make sure the equipment arrived safely and unpacking it at the damaged venue did not pose any risk to your team.

After that, you would seek Maggie’s help with an online ad for a new opening act.

Then, you would call the label and sweet-talk them before the inevitable black-eye pictures.

You would also devise a plan to handle the aforementioned black eye, which, hopefully, will have improved by the time of the concert.

And, most importantly, you would avoid Jungkook.

Really, the plan was almost foolproof. You figured your to-do list would continue to expand, even after you completed certain tasks, so you essentially had no chance of being left alone with your thoughts or accidentally running into him.

But then, on your way out of the band’s dressing room, you noticed that your surroundings were spinning more than usual. It happened occasionally, this abrupt lightheadedness after you stood up too quickly. But this time, it persisted even after you crossed the corridor.

You tried to tell yourself that this wasn’t anything new, you were just overwhelmed. This had to be the stress—you hadn’t slept and you had so much to do that it was normal to feel dizzy.

You kept walking. Until you had to trace your hand along the patterns of the wallpaper on the wall to stay steady. Until the edges of your vision blurred. Until the wet floorboards beneath your feet wobbled. Until the room grew dark.

You thought you could feel yourself leaning against the wall and slowly lowering your body to the floor. You thought you could feel the damp floor under your fingertips. You thought you could hear someone’s voice in the distance.

For a split moment before you collapsed, it occurred to you that you were really very tired. And that Jungkook had warned you about having another fainting spell if you weren’t careful.

But then your heart rate restricted the flow of blood to your brain, and there was not a single conscious thought left in your vacant mind.

As it happened sometimes—coincidences, unless you treated them as signs—Jungkook was the one who found you.

chapter title credits: sleep token, “blood sport”

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bangtanficsforyou · 1 year

Text

They Reject You (maknae line)- part two

Pairing: Bts maknae line x Reader

Word Count: 8.8K

Warnings: swear words here and there

A/N: here's my patreon just in case you enjoy reading my stuff!

Park Jimin

Jimin's eyes light up when he spots you in the cafeteria. You're sitting alone with a cup of coffee and typing away something on your laptop and he can't help but feel like the chair next to you is practically calling for him.

He makes a quick beeline towards your table and occupies the seat. "Hey, sweetheart."

You don't bother looking up at him as your eyes remain fixed on the screen.

"You shouldn't be sitting alone, if you needed company you could have just texted me," he suggests taking hold of your coffee cup. His plump lips wrap around the straw and he draws up the liquid extra loudly, knowing very well that the noise annoys you.

However, you pay no attention to his lack of table manners.

"Do you know we were supposed to have an exam today but it got cancelled?" He speaks in a tone of disappointment, knowing you'd agree with him. It's one of your icks when you've worked hard for something and have shown up for it, but ultimately do not get the chance to prove yourself.

But you still remain focused on your work and give no reaction or response.

At this point, Jimin finds himself feeling curious as to what might be so important in your laptop that it has all your attention. He leans forward to take a peek and realises that you're working on an assignment.

"Assignments are now more important than me, I see," sighing dramatically he looks down as if upset by your lack of acknowledgement. Not even a moment later he looks up subtly to check if you're looking at him.

When he realises that you aren't, the slightest bit of annoyance sparks inside him.

"If you're not going to talk to me, I should just leave," he keeps his tone casual, not intending to let the fact that he's feeling grumpy, be known.

You tilt your head cutely and mumble something along the lines of vertices having a degree two to yourself.

Jimin's jaw drops in complete shock. The last time you two had a proper chat was three days back and now that he's trying to talk to you, this is how you treat him?! If that's what you want, fine. He isn't going to sit here and beg you to pay attention to him.

"Fine, I'll leave. I have better stuff to do anyway," he grumbles and takes his leave.

If anyone were to take notice of Jimin's expressions, they'd probably end up laughing. He looks angry but that little pout on his lips and the sad look in his eyes makes him look like a little child throwing tantrums.

It's a good thing your eyes are not on him. Not even when he makes his leave.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Two classes later, Jimin is scrolling through his Instagram when he comes across a reel of a cute puppy doing the usual puppy antics. His first instinct is to send it to you. However, when he clicks on the share button, he doesn't find your account on the list of people to send. His brows furrow in confusion and he types your account id on the search bar only for the screen to read a message saying no matches found.

Have you....have you blocked him?

He exits the application and opens WhatsApp. When his eyes land on your contact he notices how your profile picture is appearing to be blank and it only makes him desperately type out a message to you.

Throughout the class, he keeps hoping that he'd notice a double tick to assure him that you haven't blocked him but unfortunately, no such thing occurs.

At the end of the day, he goes to sleep with a displeased frown. How could you do this? How could you just ignore him during recess and then block him on social media out of nowhere? He didn't even do anything wrong.

Did he?

He tries to recall the last time the both of you had a proper conversation and his mind goes to the events that occurred on the night of the frat party.

It's true that you had snapped at him and that the conversation you had, would not fall under the category of 'friendly'. But he didn't think it was serious, either. Both of you had silly arguments here and there, but it never seemed to matter in the long run. Somehow or the other, Jimin always managed to get under your skin and get a reaction out of you. Sooner or later, the two of you would fall back to the rhythm of him annoying the shit out of you and you talking back to him.

The more Jimin recalls the little fiery banters you two have engaged in, in the past, the more his confidence grows. He tells himself this time would be no different. It may take a little more time but Jimin is sure you'll be talking to him again.

It's true that you have never blocked him before. Or never have downright ignored him like this. Even when you would appear to be mad, there was always that little twitch of your eyes or you poking the inside of your cheeks with your tongue, which let him know that he was being successful.

But it doesn't matter.

Maybe you're really really mad at him this time. But he's sure he will melt that anger away with his smile and charm.

It works on everyone, no doubt it will work on you as well.

----------------------------------------------------------------

With a wide confident smirk plastered on his face, he walks into your classroom and looks for you.

His smirk softens into a small smile when he spots you with your head buried in books.

He ignores the hushed whispers and the dreamy stares and walks to your seat before sliding next to you.

"Hey sweetheart," he says, putting the effort to make his voice extra sultry and smooth. That always works on the girls.

And for a moment, Jimin thinks he has won when he notices the look of complete surprise on your face. However, his victory is short-lived as your surprise fades quickly and once it does you're back to your work without paying him any mind.

"I got you a gift," he places the said gift on top of your notebook. A rose. "I looked at it and it reminded me of you."

Your hands falter for a brief moment as the nib of your pen is met by the flower. You use your other hand to move the flower out of your way.

Jimin huffs. He is starting to get annoyed and there's this sense of unsettlement in his veins but he tries to look amused. If there's one thing that bothered you to no end, it was when he found your anger as a source of his amusement.

"Awww," he coos with an underlying tone of mockery. "Are you angry at me?"

You don't react. Jimin is neither surprised nor flattered.

"It's so cute though," he comments, and only if you were looking at him would you have known it's only his voice that gives the faux impression of him being amused. His eyes, his frown even the curve of his lips don't hide the fact that he is anything but not amused.

Jimin feels a mix of frustration and desperation, which makes him snatch the pen away from your hand.

You seem startled by his actions but instead of arguing with him for being such a pain in the ass, your hand makes its way to your pencil pouch. However, before you can take another pen out, Jimin is taking that away from you as well.

"You aren't getting these back until you talk to me," he declares, as he hugs the pouch and your pen close to his chest as if shielding them away from you.

You sigh, not out of agitation or anger. You seem bored. Something that scares and hurts Jimin, at the same time.

"What do you want?" You query, finally talking to him directly. After four days.

"What do you mean by what do you want?" He scoffs, making air quotes to mock your question. "You aren't talking to me and have blocked me on socials. What do you think I want?"

You sigh, once again and once again you look bored. As if you'd prefer to be anywhere but here. "I thought you had a reputation for being a fuckboy or something."

Jimin's brow furrow in confusion. "What does that have anything to do with this?"

"As a fuckboy whose commitment lasts for only one night, you must have faced many instances where you just wanted the girl to just take the hint," you state, speaking in a tone that's so calm that it makes Jimin squirm in discomfort. "Wonder why then, do you not know when to take the hint yourself."

His eyes fall and suddenly all traces of anger and frustration is gone and is replaced by sadness. Jimin looks a like sad kid who has just been told Santa isn't real.

The look in Jimin's eyes catches you by surprise. He is an expert at making sad eyes to lure someone in. You know that because you have been a victim of it. But Jimin's eyes always had that little spark in them. Something that gave away his act and highlighted the mischief brewing within them. Something that let you on the fact that he's only pretending to be sad.

However, now that you look into his eyes, they just seem dull. Making it seem like Jimin is sad, maybe for real this time.

You ignore the urge you feel to comfort him and maintain a blank face. Why should you even feel bad for choosing yourself? How many times has he thought or cared about his words and how they have made you feel? How many times was he there to wipe the tears that he made you cry?

Not even once.

You may be someone who's tough and headstrong but you're also just as soft and loving on the inside. If you give in now and comfort him just to see him happy, you know you will be repeating the same cycle with yourself. And it would be so damn toxic.

"Are you really not going to talk to me?" He whispers, in a soft voice.

"I don't want to, trust me." This time your voice is not cold. This time you sound like you. The you, Jimin is familiar with. You don't even seem mad. And that's exactly how Jimin knows that you mean what you're saying.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has had a tough week.

Nothing out of the ordinary, perse. He has been going to parties, has been getting drunk and has been the same him. But maybe that's exactly why he is having a tough time. Because despite doing regular 'Jimin' things, he hasn't been feeling like himself.

He doesn't even know what's wrong. Or maybe he does, he just wants to ignore it and pretend that everything is fine. That he's fine.

He does his classes and tries his best to focus on the material that's being taught but somehow or the other, he zones out.

But it's not like it's a big deal. It's normal and all cool. He's fine.

During football practice, he misses the opportunities that present themselves to him as if he's a blind man.

But again, that's normal, right? Even the best of players make mistakes. Who's Jimin to not make one? It's fine. He's fine.

During lunch, he accidentally puts pepper instead of salt in his food. But that's also normal! Nothing out of the ordinary.

He's fine.

He repeats these two words in his mind as he makes his way to the next class. However, he is met by a sight that has his steps halting.

It's you.

You have your head thrown back and you're laughing at something your friend said.

The scene causes a stir of emotions inside him.

One of the first things he feels is longing. Any other time he would deny it with everything in his being but now that you're in front of him like this, he simply can't. He misses you. He misses talking to you. He misses teasing you. He misses how your nose would scrunch up in annoyance. He misses the way you would chew on your lower lip to hold back from smiling.

He misses everything about you.

The next emotion that hits him is anger. Here he is, feeling like he can't act and function normally without you, and there you are totally unbothered.

The thought also scares him. What if, what if you just don't care about him anymore?

If that so happens to be the case, Jimin at least needs to know for sure. He can't be going around like this with a hole in his chest and having unanswered questions in his mind regarding what exactly happened for you to suddenly cut him off like this.

So, the next thing he knows, he's walking towards you. Ignoring the surprised look on your face, he grabs the courage to speak.

"Can I talk to you for two minutes?"

You look at your watch simply because you need to make an excuse as to why you can't give him the two minutes. "Sorry, I have to head for my class."

Jimin nods, having expected something like that. "We can talk while walking. I'll drop you to your class."

"You don't need to–"

"I want to," he cuts you off with a determined look on his face, not willing to take no for an answer.

Truth be told, you have no intention of talking to him. But somewhere, at the back of your mind, you're curious as to what he might have to say. After all, after one whole week of Jimin not trying to bug you, you had honestly assumed that that was the end of whatever friendship (if you can even call it that) you two had.

Jimin takes note of the indecisive look on your face and before you can come to a negative decision, he takes hold of your hand and gently tugs you to a side.

"What–"

"I am sorry but I had to," he says with a tone that conveys nothing but sincerity.

You're half pissed at Jimin's behaviour but you ignore it nevertheless, thinking that whatever it is that he has to say, it must be serious. Because you have never seen Jimin being like this before.

"Whatever you want to say, make it quick," you say with a sigh.

"Why are you cutting me off like this?" Jimin's words are out of his mouth the moment he knows that you're ready to listen to him. It's like he has been waiting for ages to ask you this particular question.

Your brows furrow for a split second before you scoff. "Is that what this is all about?"

He is confused as to why you're looking at him as if he has asked a really stupid question.

"Yes?" He responds hesitantly.

You sigh once again, this time much louder and in disbelief. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe this," you mutter to yourself before looking at Jimin and he does not miss the gleam in your eyes.

"Let me spell it out for you, you were an asshole to me," you state, your voice having a certain hint of anger to them.

"A-Asshole? How?" He stutters, looking even more confused than before.

"You knew I had feelings for you, but you couldn't give two shits about it. I had no issues with you not liking me back, but rubbing all your sexual escapades on my face, and flirting with me is a total disregard and disrespect to how I feel."

"I didn't–"

"It doesn't take much for someone to realise that. Anyone with the minimum common sense can figure that out for themselves. But just because your feelings have always been shallow does not mean that the people around you are shallow as well."

There are a lot of responses that come to Jimin's mind but he knows none of those are good enough.

"Do you know how much of a fool I felt when you were being ignorant of the fact that I am a person who feels? I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn't even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve."

Each word of yours hits him like a bullet but he thinks this has been a long time coming. He is willing to take as many hits as it requires, but he just hopes this is not the end. That somehow he gets to redeem himself. No matter how difficult it is.

"But at some point, you realise that you shouldn't put up with someone who doesn't appreciate you. I know how I deserve to be treated and it's obvious that you don't know how to treat a woman with respect. Hence, I'm afraid we can't be….friends anymore."

You paused briefly before using the word friends as if you were not even sure if that's what you two were. And it sure as hell, makes Jimin feel shittier than he did moments ago.

Oh my goodness, he really has messed this up, hasn't he?

When you turn around to leave, Jimin doesn't stop you, knowing very well there's nothing much he can say to prove that you mean much more to him than what he has made you believe.

So he lets you go.

But only with the intention of earning your forgiveness.

Kim Taehyung

February

Tae 🐻: did you reach home?

You: yes, just did!

Tae 🐻: i see

Tae 🐻: take rest and sleep well

Tae 🐻: also, i got a little something for you

Tae 🐻: *image attached*

On clicking the picture, you're greeted with a small little teddy bear that looks adorable in every way possible.

It brings a smile to your face and there's a part of you that knows that it's his way of apologising for the dimmed smile you had throughout the day. His words may have been upsetting but at least he knows the effect they have had on you. And you know he's sorry for it. Mayhaps, that makes it a bit easier for you.

You: it's cute

Tae 🐻: i know

Tae 🐻: that's exactly why it reminded me of you

You chuckle and shake your head softly.

He never leaves a chance to flirt.

--------------------------------------------------------------

April

You: you won't believe what happened

Tae 🐻: what

Tae 🐻: What

Tae 🐻: WHAAATTTT

You: a cat just snuggled against me.

You: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???

You: like i used to be so scared of them

You: but now i think they are just soft little balls of fur

You: now i want a cat for myself

Tae 🐻: this is so cute for some reason

Tae 🐻: i can just imagine your bright excited smile *sighs*

Tae 🐻: I'm glad you are not scared of cats anymore 👍😌

Tae 🐻: but but but

Tae 🐻: idk how to feel about you getting a cat

Tae 🐻: what if you get one and then your whole attention is on them and then you forget about me 👉👈

You: 🙄

You: is this supposed to be a joke?

You: can i not have a bear and a cat at the same time???? 😒

You: also, don't worry i doubt the cat can ever get as annoying as you're

You: so in a way, you'll always be special 😌

Tae 🐻: uhh thank you

Tae 🐻: that's very reassuring 🤗💖

You: well why, you're welcome 🤗

-------------------------------------------------------------------

July

Your phone rings making you alert of an incoming call. Checking the screen you realise that it's Tae.

"Hello?" You greet in a sing-song voice, your mood suddenly turning bright.

"Hello, my lady," he greets back in a British accent. "How have you been?"

"Same old, mate, same old," you sigh, mimicking his accent. "Work has been hectic."

"It's even worse that I haven't seen you for so many days" he huffs, his accent gone and voice sounding whiny and complaining. Something that makes you think he has a cute adorable pout on his face.

"I know, work decided to be the biggest bitch ever," which is why you and Taehyung have not been able to find free time to spend with each other.

The lunchtime for his department changed, making it impossible to have lunch together. Your department has way more workload than his does and as a result of which, you always have to stay back at least an hour to complete your share of work.

Taehyung doesn't wait for you or for your work to get done. And in a way, you're glad. You can't imagine how tiring it can be to wait a whole hour after a full day of work when you know you have the option to just go home and lay in bed and do nothing.

Everyone deserves good rest and sleep after spending a whole day in front of a computer and that includes Taehyung. You'd never expect him to wait for you or do anything that would be at the cost of his discomfort.

Anyways, it's not like you and him have been out of touch. You text him about every silly little thing that would occur throughout your day. It could be a lizard staring at you intensely as if judging the way you're brushing your teeth, and Taehyung will be the first person to know about it. Hence, yes you do miss his presence physically but your days have been filled with him.

You both have chatted for hours on end, sometimes via text, other times on a call.

This time is no different. You two end up talking for a whole hour before, he says something that ends with your heart skipping a few too many beats.

"Hey man, I won't say I love you on the phone," he jokes, but there's just something in those words that tells you he knows this isn't just a joke. "That's not fair to the both of us."

It is said out of nowhere, yet it fits the context of the conversation as well as of the situation you both are in.

"Umm, w-well, say it in person I guess." Your cheeks warm up, a bashful smile that is so incredibly shy at the same time, adorning your lips.

"So I will," he whispers as if even though you two are only connected via call, he knows how gentle this moment is and what it means to you.

And then, the conversation is loud again. You with your silliness and him playing along with it and laughing loudly at your antiques.

----------------------------------------------------------------

September

"Why do you look down?" You query as you munch on popcorn.

Taehyung shakes his head, denying anything's wrong. "Nothing, I just feel tired, I guess."

Bullshit. You know Taehyung well enough to know when he's lying. His eyes just twinkle in a certain way as if on alert about being caught.

"Do you want to leave?" You whisper, paying mind to the people around you. The last thing you want is the people in the movie hall shushing you or glaring at you.

He shakes his head, again. This time more vehemently. "No, I want to watch this movie with you."

You sigh but then speak in a gentle tone. "You know you can tell me right? Anything that's bothering you, you can tell me."

Taehyung looks at you and there's that certain look of vulnerability as if he's scared and worried. But whatever it was that he was looking for, he finds it in your eyes. It makes him decide that yes, he can be honest with you.

"Remember Kira? I saw her today and I guess it just triggered something within me."

Kira.

How can you forget that name?

Two months in your friendship and the both of you had discussed your lists of shitty exes and Kira was a topic discussed in detail.

Kira was his first and only girlfriend whom he loved a lot. Their relationship was filled with ups and downs but he never let it come in the way. He was there for her in ways you only see in movies and shows. But alas, things did come to an end.

What hurt Taehyung more than the relationship coming to an end were the comments made by Kira. She didn't stutter while saying that he's just not the kind of guy she's into. He isn't bulky or muscular. He laughs too much and smiles easily. He isn't intimidating and is very gullible and naive.

That...that was what broke him.

You remember the day he told you about Kira. It had made you so angry. How could anyone ever say something like that about a person? If you're not interested you're most welcome to leave but why go an extra step to be an asshole and scar someone?

What was worse was the fact that you could tell Taehyung believed in those words. He thought they were a down point to his character and that it made him unlovable.

It's also since that day, that you have developed this protectiveness over him. He may not see it but he deserves the absolute best. He deserves to know that it isn't difficult to love him at all, in fact, it might just be the easiest thing in the world.

But right now, you know that her words from the past are probably being repeated in his mind over and over again. Hence, it becomes your goal to make him see that those words are not true.

"I understand why it may have been triggering for you," you comment taking hold of his hands and playing with his fingers. "But I assure you, she was only being a bitch because she knew she losing a gem."

Taehyung smiles a smile that does not reach his ears. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. I'm not done yet."

For the first time this evening, the briefest spark of amusement enters his gaze.

"I know she hurt you, but if you need a reminder that what she said to you was total bullshit, I'll serve as one."

Your voice comes out firm but there's that tone of love and affection to it, that is simply unmissable.

"People say and do mean things and they hurt us. But their choice of actions and words define them, not us. At some point, you have got to stop and realise that you can't keep hurting yourself because of what someone has said. It's difficult to do that, I know but that difficulty is worth it. You are worth it."

A small, tiny smile appears on Taehyung's lips at your words. Before he can get the words out to express his gratitude, you're speaking again.

"Also, all those things that she made you feel were unlovable about you, make you just that much more lovable. Because that's what makes you, you."

Once you're done, you feel the insecurity hit you that you may have been a little too passionate or that you went overboard. But Taehyung resting his head on your shoulder and muttering the softest of thank you's makes you relax.

And that's how you watch the rest of the movie. With his head on your shoulders and him constantly wanting some part of his body to be in touch with yours.

---------------------------------------------------------------

December

You were promoted.

You won't say it was out of the blue, you had seen it coming. Despite that, being recognised and awarded for your hard work, felt nice.

But your promotion also meant you were now working in a different branch of your office. Same city, a different building. This also meant the chances of you and Taehyung meeting in between work had slimmed down to zero.

But again, it didn't seem to affect the bond you two shared. You two chatted with each other about your day almost regularly. It just didn't feel right, without telling him about the itsy bitsy details of your day-to-day life.

It was your second week in the new building and by now you had become comfortable enough with the group of fellow employees you were mingling with, for them to ask the very important question. "Do you have someone special in your life?"

The question was asked in good spirits, with raised eyebrows, teasing smiles and mayhaps with an underlying hope that the answer to the question would be 'no' so that they can set you up with the company sweetheart Jeon Jungkook, who you have a hunch, has a crush on you.

Nevertheless, the question makes you stutter.

It's not a difficult question to answer if the answer is a simple yes or no. But in your case, it's not so simple. It's complicated.

But how do you explain it to them?

You don't even know where you and Taehyung lie. You both have never directly addressed the feelings except once or twice. But what does that mean now? Do you two fall under the category of "more than friends, less than lovers"?

You don't know.

You don't know if he still has feelings for you. What if it was just a phase and now all that you two are is just good friends? What if you're the only one who keeps thinking of the time you had confessed and what if you're the only one to whom the moments spent with the other, mean something special?

But what if the opposite is true? What if he still has feelings for you, what if it wasn't just a phase? What if the moments spent with you, mean something to him as well?

Gosh, this indeed is complicated.

You take a deep breath and conclude that irrespective of whatever his feelings for you may be. You're someone who cares for him. A lot.

You don't want to be someone who hurts him, ever. Knowing of the few instances that he has been hurt and the way he has been hurt, you never want to make him feel like he failed at love again. Or that, he isn't worthy of love.

You don't want to assume that Taehyung has feelings for you. At the same time, you don't want to assume that he doesn't. Because you know, if you assume that he doesn't have feelings for you and act accordingly, and then it turns out that he still did, he will feel crushed.

"Let's just say, I do have a certain someone," you answer with a shy smile.

Your new coworkers look disappointed for a brief second, most likely because now they won't be able to play matchmakers but the disappointment is soon replaced by excitement.

Multiple questions are thrown your way to know about this special person and you spend the rest of lunch trying to answer them as swiftly as possible.

--------------------------------------------------------------

February

You: why the 🙄 next to her name?

You ask in reference to him re-posting a status update of a co-worker on Whatsapp. Something about company lunch.

Tae 🐻: cause she's annoying!

You: lmao why so 😂

Tae 🐻: oh boy she has no respect for boundaries

Tae 🐻: her jokes are in such poor taste and inappropriate

Tae 🐻: it's just annoying and hence would explain the emoji choice

You: damn

You: that's harsh

You: but I'll trust your judgement

Tae 🐻: as you should, yes 😒

You: but this has me curious, if you were to put an emoji next to my name, what would it be? 👀

Tae 🐻: damn that's a good question

Tae 🐻: let me think

Tae 🐻: How about this one? ✨

You: huh?

You: that's kind of unique

You: why that one though?

Tae 🐻: because you shine, duh

Tae 🐻: and you light up every room you walk into

Tae 🐻: and this ✨ just suits you

Yet again, you feel the familiar warmth in your chest that at this point is just very common every time you talk to him.

But that doesn't make these little moments any less special for you.

------------------------------------------------------------

March.

Work was extra tiring today. You couldn't catch a breather. Couldn't even go to lunch. Stayed back after work till eleven.

And now here you're, finally home.

While having your ramen, you decide to respond to texts that you haven't and so open WhatsApp.

Once done, you check through the status updates of people. It's always nice to know what fun people have been up to while you were being drained of all energy.

However, you frown when Taehyung's status appears on your screen. There are a few paragraphs written about love and how it can change the way you view life. When the next slide appears, it's a picture of him with a girl. He has his arm casually on the girl's shoulder as they smile at the camera. That added with the heart emoji as the caption causes a weird nervous sensation in your stomach.

You type out a question as a reply to his status.

You: what is all this about? 😂

You add a laughing emoji next to it just to make sure you sound casual and curious.

Taehyung so happens to be online and his response comes quickly.

Tae 🐻: did you not see my status updates? 😂

Tae 🐻: I'm in a relationship ☺️

And just like that, your hands start shaking and the food in front of you gets forgotten.

Jeon Jungkook

It's been almost a month since you confessed to Jungkook.

During the first week, you tried to reach out to him because you were so angsty to just get some sort of response. You didn't care if it was in the negative or was harsh. Anything was better than this. Anything was better than him just straight out ignoring your presence as if you never existed.

You just couldn't understand. Did the friendship you two had mean nothing to him? Did you ever mean anything to him? If you did, how could he possibly treat you this way? Did you not deserve at least a proper explanation as to why he was doing what he was doing?

But after a week, you gave up. Your hurt turned into anger. You didn't care what his possible explanation could be. You did deserve better than this. So you ultimately stopped trying to reach out to him.

It's not like it doesn't bother you. Sometimes, it still does. But the difference is, you have stopped expecting anything from him. And that admittedly, makes it a little easier for you.

"What are we doing today?" Namjoon asks with a bright dimpled smile as he took his seat on the chair.

"Four short interviews and then a late-night show," you reply, quickly opening your pouches to get out the brushes.

He sighs. "Another round of answering what our love life looks like."

You snicker, finding it hilarious how done he looks. "Another round of you answering on behalf of the team that you all are a little too busy to find time for dating."

Namjoon shakes his head. "Sometimes I wish I didn't know English."

The thought makes you laugh with your head thrown back.

"Well I can't imagine anyone else being the spokesperson, it would be damn funny."

You really do think that would be the case. Each of the members has a very distinct personality and just imagining what they would be like, is nothing short of amusing to you.

Your amusement, however, dwindles when your mind comes up with the question about what Jungkook would be like if he were the one translating other members' words into English. But then your mind leads you to imagine how cute his English is, despite being broken. And then your heart ultimately shrank and you had to remind yourself to not think of him.

Namjoon seems to notice your distress and quickly changea the conversation to something else.

Thankfully, it works. There are no other sad moments where your mind goes to Jungkook and you find yourself enjoying your conversation with Namjoon and that was more than enough.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

It's three in the afternoon, you conclude after checking your watch. Which means another interview left and after that the boys can rest, until the late-night show of course. This also, means that there's another hour for you to just relax in the AC room. After that, you will have to get to work to remove Namjoon's makeup.

You lay down on the sofa and scroll through Instagram. What's better entertainment than this?

Your fingers get to work and start scrolling, one meme after the other. Some you find hilarious, some you need to read twice to get and some you simply roll your eyes at. But you guess, that's just how memes are.

However, it's after a few more posts that you find one which simply makes you blink in disbelief.

It's a picture from the news outlet dispatch. The picture in question is of Jungkook's with his arms around a woman. On reading the caption you realise that the said woman is, Niki from the girl group JION. And to no one's surprise, the photo has caused a stir on the internet and apparently, everyone's talking about it.

You exit Instagram and open Google. You search for Jungkook and Niki are immediately met with a bunch of articles. Each of them discusses their possible relationship and whether or not they are dating.

When you feel like you have had enough of the sick churning of your stomach, you close all apps and just shut your phone.

Wow.

This is something.

It leaves you perplexed and with a bunch of emotions, you have no idea how to deal with.

Was he already seeing the woman when you left that note? Gosh, if that's the case, it would be so embarrassing.

Is that why he thought it would be best to just get rid of you? Was that why he made that sudden move out of nowhere? Couldn't he just tell you that he is dating someone else? Learning this from a news outlet, for every reason, feels painful.

It's not even the fact that he is dating someone. It's just the fact that you both have become such strangers that he feels like a distant person you once used to know. All because you decided to trust him with your feelings.

But most likely it didn't matter. Your feelings didn't matter. You're someone who's always behind the scenes, someone who no one knows. But him? He is the world-renowned artist. He is the one who earns in millions and has an army of fangirls, quite literally. Why should he waste his time caring about how you feel? More importantly, why did you expect him to?

It was undoubtedly a mistake on your part to have trusted him. As they say, expectations lead to heartbreaks and maybe you had to learn it the hard way.

But that doesn't mean the pain is anywhere near acceptable. You needed a way to vent your anger, so you do the only thing that comes to your mind.

You block him on all social media sites.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Two weeks since the rumour about Jungkook and Niki dating begun and it's still all over the net. Why, you ask? Because the two people involved in the matter aren't helping their case at all.

They have been spotted several times together and thus have been fuelling the rumours further.

It angered you. Weren't idols supposed to be very careful about their relationships? Why were then, these two, flaunting their relationship for the world to see?

You're aware you sound bitter and ridiculous because no one should have to hide if they are dating someone but you just can't help yourself. No matter how hard you try, news about Jungkook and Niki would somehow or the other appear on your feed, be it on insta or Google. It just became unavoidable as these two were everywhere.

The comments didn't help either. People adored them.

Apparently, these two were the perfect match for each other. Both maknaes of their individual groups and both fan favourites.

It made it suck all the more for you.

Argh.

"Have you seen my chapstick?" Namjoon asks as soon as he enters the room. "Hobi just lectured me about how I should always keep my lips moisturised."

"It should be in the drawer," you reply and get up to look for the chapstick. "Let me check once."

As it turns out, it indeed was in the drawer. You hand the small tube to him and as soon as you take a seat again, the door swings open to reveal someone you would have never imagined seeing.

Niki.

"Namjoon oppa," she smiled, putting her dimples on display. "I was looking for you."

Namjoon turned around at the sound of his name. His expression too turns into that of surprise when he realises who it is. "Niki! I didn't know you'd be coming."

Huh, makes the two of us.

The two idols chit chat and you ignore all of it. Simply, because they seem to get along really well and if there's one thing you know about Namjoon it's how protective he is of all the members. But if he likes and approves of Niki, well you guess she and Jungkook might just be the perfect match.

It's not like Niki totally ignores your presence. She shoots you a smile that's sweet and warm, and you smile at her right back. Your's looking a tad bit less sincere.

Thankfully, whatever conversation the two of them were having soon comes to an end and Niki leaves the room.

As soon as it is just you and Namjoon, you blurt out the question you have been wanting to ask for a long time.

"Are they really dating?"

Namjoon doesn't seem too surprised by your question, if anything he looks like he expected it. However, he does look hesitant to answer. "Umm, yes they are."

Shit.

You don't know why you had to ask the question but you did, and now you got your pretty little confirmation and now you're hurting again.

Well, shit, indeed.

But but but, why was Namjoon hesitant to answer? Was he perhaps aware you had feelings for Jungkook? Had Jungkook told him the reason of requesting a change?

Fuck, you should really have kept your curiosity to yourself because now your mind is running wild and it's not helping you at all.

"But, I don't think it's anything serious," Namjoon adds after a beat of silence then nods as if reassuring himself that it was the right thing to say.

It makes you even more paranoid that Namjoon knows about your little more than crush on Jungkook and it makes you want to flee from the spot.

"Uhmmm, I need to pee," you squeak out and immediately shut your eyes because gosh that was stupid.

"Uhh, okay." Thankfully, Namjoon isn't weirded out by your silly choice of words. Instead, he looks amused and there might have been something else in his gaze but you are too embarrassed to take notice.

You quickly leave the room and rush your way to the washroom. As soon as you're in, you splash your face with water.

What the fuck? Does Namjoon know? Does it mean that the other members know too? How are you ever going to face them again?

Shit. Shit. Shit.

This is no good. You should have never confessed. You should never have listened to those excited beats of your heart and to those fluttering butterflies. Look where it got you.

"Don't worry about it, babe. It's all cool, it's all under control now." A voice reaches your ears from one of the stalls in the washroom.

You assume the woman must be talking on the phone and you ignore it.

"Yes, I know how you feel about it but trust me this whole thing with Jungkook should be over in like a few weeks."

Now, that has your ears all perked up in attention.

"You know, I don't even like him like that."

What. The. Fuck.

"I'm not mad at you for it, relax babe, I love you."

And just like that, you hear the toilet flush and the doorknob jiggling followed by Niki stepping out.

You pour the liquid soap on your hand and wash your hands with them just to look like you weren't eavesdropping on her conversation with her babe.

Although, could it really be called eavesdropping when she was speaking so loudly?

Thankfully, Niki doesn't find your behaviour suspicious and leaves the washroom with a small smile lingering on her lips.

Uhh okay then.

This is something.

---------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as the shock dials down and you could think, you knew you had to tell someone.

You don't know what and how to say, though. You can't just claim that Niki is cheating on Jungkook, despite your initial assumption being that. Because people call their siblings babe too right? Or their best friends? Yes, you can't just assume that she's having an affair behind everyone's back.

But what you're plenty sure of and have heard Niki admitting is that she does not have feelings for Jungkook. What the heck is going on then?

Before your mind can start running in circles, the door swings open announcing someone's arrival. Much to your relief, it's Namjoon, someone you can be honest with, without worrying about the technicalities.

"Listen, I need to talk to you about something," you say, your voice coming out nervous yet firm.

Namjoon takes notice of your nervousness and smiles at you warmly, hoping to put you at ease. "Sure, go ahead."

"I went to the washroom and uhm, I heard Niki talking on the phone about something and I think you should know about it."

A small frown appears on Namjoon's face because of all things, he did not expect that what you had to say was anything related to Niki. He, however, keeps quiet and gives you an encouraging hum to go on.

"I–She told someone over the phone that she doesn't really have feelings for Jungkook."

Namjoon looks as shocked as you had been but his shock wears off much much quicker than yours did.

For the first time, he looks a little awkward having this conversation. Scratching the back of his neck, he gives you a small awkward chuckle. "I see what you're saying."

Your first thought to this reaction is that he does not believe you. It would make sense for that to be the case if Jungkook really had told Namjoon about the note. But that does not mean you don't feel incredibly offended and hurt right now. Just because you liked Jungkook does not mean you'd be lying. Is that how much faith Namjoon had in you?

"I'm not lying!" Your voice doesn't hide the emotions you're feeling, not that you were trying to hide them anyway.

Namjoon's eyes widen and he immediately shakes his head. "No, no, no. That's not what I meant."

You cross your arms and look at him with a scowl, refusing to believe his words. "What did you mean then?"

He yet, again looks a little sheepish as he answers, "It's just that I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything to me," you reply without missing a beat. "This has nothing to do with me. It has to do with Jungkook. Tell him that this girl probably has some ulterior motives or something. Save him from the heartbreak he will inevitably go through when he comes to that realisation himself."

"You're right, that's exactly what I should do." Something in Namjoon seems to click and he nods. "Wait, I'll be right back."

Just like that, he's walking out in a hurry leaving you all alone in the room.

---------------------------------------------------------------

It's been fifteen minutes since Namjoon left.

At first, you were walking with hurried steps from one end of the room to the other but then your anxiety got too much for you and you decided to sort out the skincare items and put them in place.

Productivity is better than burning calories by walking in circles in a room. Right?

You were only putting the new moisturizer in the drawer when someone clears their throat to announce their presence.

It rightfully startles you and you let out a small yelp.

However, when you realise who the person standing in front of you is, it makes your stomach sink.

Jungkook.

The same Jungkook you have been avoiding for weeks. Not that it was difficult though, he had never really made any effort to reach out to you. But whatever.

You swiftly look away from him and get back to work, not wanting to pay him any attention. Why should you? You're not his makeup artist anymore, he does not have any business to be here.

"Umm, I need to talk to you about Niki."

You don't respond.

Your silence is met with a sigh from Jungkook.

"Hyung told me what you heard Niki say. Ummm can you please not share it with anyone else?"

Maybe it was something about the way the words were phrased but they did not sit well with you.

Your hands pause and a scoff of disbelief makes its way past your lips. Is...is that what he wanted to talk to you about?

That too, of all things to ask you to not tell others about it? As if you had told Namjoon about it to spread some sort of gossip. The only reason you bothered with it was because....well, you were worried for Jungkook.

But imagine caring about someone despite being treated the way Jungkook treated you and then that person coming to talk to you for the first time in weeks only to tell you not to get involved. As if it was by choice.

One thing was for sure, you were this close to letting out the words you have been holding in for a long long time. Your position as a makeup artist be damned.

"It's just that if word gets out she will be framed as the wrong guy."

She....she will be the one framed as the wrong guy? And you being the one who could potentially do it, doesn't make you sound like the villain? What he's saying is you could do something that could end up making Niki the victim.

That's it. You have had enough.

"Do you even know what you're saying?" You speak the words out with your tone laced with every bit of anger you have been keeping in for weeks.

Jungkook winces. "I do–"

"Let me finish. I have no business telling people what I heard Niki speak on the phone with lord knows who. Heck, if I was selfish I would have just stayed out of it because who's gonna believe my words against those millions of articles and fans shipping you two? But the only reason I thought you should know about it is because what if you really loved her or something? Knowing it later when you're much more invested would be way more painful and crushing."

Something enters in his gaze but you're too furious to notice or to even pause to give him the time to form a response.

"Not to mention that you treated me like trash. Didn't bother talking to me. Changed your staff without giving a proper reason. Heck, I might just be a make-up artist and you might be a world-renowned artist but I thought we were more than that," for the first time since you started speaking, your voice goes quiet. "To me, you were more than the idol everyone sees. Maybe that's why I assumed I was also someone more than just a make-up artist to you."

"But I guess I was wrong," your voice cracks and as soon as the sound of your wavering voice reaches your ears, you know it's time to shut up. Because no way in hell are you going to cry in front of Jungkook.

But somehow that single voice crack says a lot.

You have seen Jungkook cry in pain and frustration. You have seen him laugh until his stomach started to hurt. You have seen him drink until he's all giggles and smiles. Those moments had led you to believe that you two were friends, at least. But then if you two ever were friends, he has disrespected that friendship way too much for you to be calm about it.

Jungkook looks at the ground as if it would magically give him the answer to the question of what he should do now. When it doesn't, Jungkook battles himself and ultimately decides that it's best for him to simply say the truth.

He has complicated things enough.

"Niki and I aren't dating."

------------------------------------------------------

Permanant Taglist:

@bloodline1632 @embrace-themagic @jeonsorchid @fragmentof-indiffernce @royallyjjk @jeonninja @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @blairscott @jungkookslittlebun @hunbun07 @chimchimmarie

Fic Taglist:

@coffeedepressionsoup @perfectlyfangirling @armydgirl

#Jungkook x reader #Jungkook angst #Jungkook fluff #Jungkook scenarios #Jungkook reactions #Jimin x Reader #Jimin angst #Jimin reaction #Jimin scenarios #Jimin au #Fuckboy Jimin #Idol Jungkook #Taehyung x Reader #Taehyung angst #Taehyung fluff #Taehyung scenarios #Taehyung au #Co-worker Taehyung

614 notes · View notes

holdinbacksecrets · 7 months

Note

hello friend! i have a tiny request 🥺 can you create a fake chat for BTS maknae line?

idea: the member’s crush is avoiding them out of jealousy and they cannot take it.

PS. saranghae 🫶

my love! thank you for requesting 🥺🫂🫂 only one of these is really giving avoidance + i’d say they’re more complex than just a crush, but i hope you still enjoy them all! i love you!

happy birthday jimin 🩵

maknae line: you’re jealous

#bts fake texts #jimin fake texts #taehyung fake texts #jungkook fake texts #bts scenarios #bts reactions #bts imagines #jimin scenarios #jimin reactions #jimin imagines #taehyung scenarios #taehyung reactions #taehyung imagines #jungkook scenarios #jungkook reactions #jungkook imagines

183 notes · View notes

jinkookspencil · 8 months

Text

i just don't understand pt 2

in which jungkook does not understand how his friend doesn't have a crush on namjoon

a drabble sequel to the drabble 'i just don't understand' -

i'd say you need to read that first, it's just 500 words but if you really don't want to, i included the last bit of dialogue at the beginning of this fic i dont care if drabbles can't have sequels, it just worked out this way lmao

description/tags: jungkook drabble / fluff / friends to lovers / ~900 words / jk comes off a little more insecure here but it kind of works because i'd always imagined this as a younger version of him / hope you enjoy!! / it's been a while since i wrote anything but i have a recent writing update i recently shared (this is *not* the jk thing i am currently working on - i hope to have that done for his birthday!)

“What the hell are you attracted to?” Jungkook laughs. “Ugly, stupid, mean, untalented guys?”

“Of course not, Jungkook,” you sigh. “I like other handsome, smart, kind, respectful guys.”

“Like who?”

“Like YOU!”

This was not how you imagined confessing.

“Like…. Like me?!”

Dropping the plushie in his hands, Jungkook gestures to himself in disbelief.

“I said like you, Jungkook,” you emphasize, hoping it wasn’t too late to back out of your frustration-fueled confession.

“So…. Not me?”

What the fuck were you supposed to say now?! You pick up the teddy bear and tug at its pink fur, staring at its face and hoping the bear’s smile would turn into a murderous one, killing you and waking you up from this anxiety-inducing nightmare.

Jungkook calls your name quietly and quickly, bringing you back life.

“Like you. You, Jungkook. I like you.”

“Over… over Namjoon?” he winces, and you do too. It was the most humiliating way someone could have responded to a confession…. hoping you’d fall in love with someone else instead.

“Yes, Jungkook. Over Namjoon," you reply with your head in your hands.

“So all those things you said to describe him… handsome, smart, you think that of me too?”

“Yeah, of course,” you chuckle, finally looking up at him, “that and so much more, actually.”

“But there’s a difference? Between what you think of me and what you think of Namjoon-hyung?”

“Oh, there’s a big difference.”

“You described the both of us with the same string of adjectives, though….”

Jungkook was a clever guy…. Why was he acting so stupid?

“Who cares if you share some similar qualities?! I am not attracted to Namjoon. Period. I am attracted to you, Jeon Jungkook. The person born on September 1, 1997, who always wears black, loves karaoke, samgyeopsal, the movie Titanic, and the scariest fucking theme park rides! The Jeon Jungkook that’s sitting right in front of me. You.”

Jungkook's breath is shaky, his voice the same when he speaks. “I just find it hard to believe…. Not Namjoon. And not only that - me over Namjoon….”

“I don’t know how to explain it in more words, Koo…. I like you. I like you in the way that people have crushes on each other. You make my heart flutter while also putting it at ease. I like you.”

The boy in front of you doesn’t say anything, merely stiffens his posture, and you know it only meant the worst.

“This…. This calls for the end of our friendship doesn’t it?” you mumble, voice breaking and bubbling, ready to burst into tears.

“No…. No, absolutely not….” he says, breaking out of his catatonic state to sit next to you on the couch and hug your plushie once again. “Let me explain something this time… You know how I gush over Namjoon?”

“Of course,” you groan, and Jungkook rolls his eyes.

“And I always try to understand why you aren’t attracted to him… right?”

“Yeah…”

“I know Namjoon and I are not the exact same. Of course I do, that’s why I look up to him and keep recommending him to you and I guess… I guess it’s because in my head, I was trying to convince myself that you had to go for guys like Namjoon… because you’d never go for guys like me…”

“…. And what do you mean by guys like you?”

“Guys that have nothing in common with you. You say Namjoon and I are both handsome and smart... But in truth, you and he share the similarities and I could never compete. You're both beautiful in the 'once-in-a-lifetime' kind of way. You're both clever in the book-ish way - do you know you have the exact same books as he does? I bought a book two weeks ago to try and impress you but I haven’t gotten past the introduction so I was too ashamed to even tell you. Oh, that one time, you both recommended the same drama series to me… on the same day. I thought for sure that you’d hooked up and seen it together, and that’d be that. But then you called me crying when it ended, wrapped up in your fluffy pink blanket in bed with chips.”

“You asked me why I didn’t call Namjoon…”

“And you said ‘why would I?’… Even if you weren't hooking up, I could’ve given you a million reasons as to why you could've called him instead. That drama was too artsy for me, but not for either of you. I didn’t even understand what you were saying on the phone that day - the message behind the story, or whatever - I was just so happy that you’d called and that you’d think I’d get it.”

Jungkook lets out a laugh as he shakes his head. For some reason, it breaks your heart.

“I tried to make ‘you and Namjoon’ happen because it’s the only logical thing I could see in front of me…… The only answer I could come up with… You’re… the most wonderful person I’ve ever known, YN. I want what’s best for you - you deserve the best kind of guy there is…. and that’s definitely Nam-“

You push your lips against Jungkook’s, interrupting him with a kiss.

“It’s you, Jungkook. You’re the best fucking person I know.” You kiss him again. “I’d pick you a million times over.”

“Well, what if-“

“Can we forget about Namjoon entirely for a moment? I want the boy I like to shut up and kiss me…. If you want to, that is.”

Jungkook’s smile turns into one you rarely see. A smirk, devilish, menacing…. Delectable as he nods and meets you with a deep kiss, electrifying every inch of your body.

You were always a know-it-all and you'd been right once again: this was always the boy for you.

#bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts scenario #bts scenarios #jungkook fanfic #bts fluff #jungkook scenarios #jungkook fic #jungkook drabble #jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #bts drabble #bts one shot #bts reaction #bts reactions #jungkook reaction #jungkook reactions #jeon jungkook x reader

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jungk0oksthighs · 2 years

Text

Over The Odds | Publicity

Pairing - jungkook x reader

Genre - angst, smut, fluff, S2L, ceo!jungkook, sugardaddy!jungkook

Word count - 4.4k

You and Jungkook go on your first official date

warnings: oh god - public foreplay, toys, teasing, edging, overstimulation, daddy jk, bratty oc, rough unprotected sex

FULL SERIES COLLECTION

Smoothing the black satin material over your curves you hum in approval, you’re not usually one to compliment yourself but even you have to admit – you look good. It’s 6:30PM and you’re about to leave for your first official date with Jungkook since signing the contract. He’s booked an Italian restaurant near Kensington Palace that’s just opened and the reviews are amazing, you’re already excited to try what some have branded ‘the best pizza in the world’. The driver, who you’ve recently learned is called Yoongi, is on route to your building so you’re making the final touches to your look before you head outside and wait for his arrival.

You’re standing in the full length mirror in your bedroom applying a nude lip gloss, snapping a few pictures to send Jimin because you need every ounce of ego-boost he’s willing to give to help battle your nerves. You know that the media will no-doubt see you and Jungkook tonight, this is your first public appearance as a ‘couple’ and you’re terrified of the fall out. The saying money can’t buy happiness is flawed though, because this satin backless dress cost almost three thousand pounds, and you’ve never been happier with the way you look.

At first you were angry with Jungkook for sending you ten thousand pounds directly to your bank account as you’d told him you didn’t want his money for the first night you slept together – you chose to have sex with him, you wanted to. But him being a CEO means he’s incredibly bossy and he flat out refused to take the money back, insisting you use it to pay off some of your debt and treat yourself to something nice. And this dress is very nice.

The dress isn’t the only new thing you’re wearing, feeling somewhat brave and sexually frustrated since it had been a whole two days since you last saw Jungkook for a night of impromptu kitchen sex, you’re also wearing recently purchased very special underwear – the kind that vibrates and comes with a small remote to control the speed. You chuckle as you throw the remote into your purse, already knowing your fake boyfriend’s reaction to this is going to be absolutely priceless.

Jimin: Holy shit! You look unreal!!! Are you wearing a push up bra? Your tits look massive

A bright smile catches your lips, you’re not wearing a bra at all since your entire back is exposed in this outfit. You could’ve opted to buy a backless bra but the idea of Jungkook seeing that the only thing holding your breasts in place are two tiny silky black straps is much more entertaining. You’d purposely styled your hair into a classy updo to draw more attention to the area.

Y/N: Thanks but no, I’m not wearing a bra

Jimin: Poor guys gonna have a heart attack

You smile again, locking the door behind you as you brace yourself for the night ahead.

The journey to the restaurant takes a little over thirty minutes, Jungkook had a late meeting that meant it made sense for him to meet you there instead of picking you up himself but you didn’t mind the alone time. You were adjusting the strap on your small black heels when the car finally stopped, signalling your arrival.

“Jungkook is already inside waiting for you.” Yoongi says matter-of-factly.

“Thank you for the ride.” You offer a polite smile, surprised when the driver is opening the door for you to exit. You weren’t used to this lifestyle at all, whenever you and Jimin would go drinking and get a taxi home half the time he would physically push you out the backseat and instruct the driver to leave you there as they made their way to his place. Further confirmation that you and Jungkook live in different worlds.

“Hi,” You greet the slim hostess who waits by the entrance, “Tables booked under Jungkook.”

“Ah, this way.”

The lady guides you to a table by a large window, where a gorgeous man wearing a fitted black suit, gazing at the London streets outside. Your heartrate quickens when he notices you approaching, his mouth falling open at the sight in front of him.

“I was beginning to think you’d stood me up.” He admits, standing to pull your chair back for you.

It should be illegal to look that good. Jungkook’s had a haircut since the last time you saw him, his raven locks are pushed back to reveal his forehead and thick brows. The suit he’s wearing leaves nothing to the imagination, his muscles threaten to burst from the fabric at any given moment – it’s the black dress shirt with the first three buttons undone, exposing his toned chest and silver chain that earns you to swallow thickly. He looks like a fucking god.

“Thank you,” A shiver runs down your bare back as he tucks you into the table and sits down across from you, “Have you had a haircut?”

“Oh, yeah...” He nods, running his tatted fingers through the new style, “Enough about how I look though… You look-, you’re stunning.” For the first time since meeting him he looks visibly in awe, his eyes hungrily roaming every inch of your exposed skin before settling on your face.

“What? This old thing?” You grin, “Just something I threw on last minute.” There’s really no point lying as you both know full-well you could’ve never afforded something like this a week ago, but it’s fun to pretend.

“I’m glad,” His gaze darkens with a chuckle, “Means I won’t feel guilty when I tear it off you later.”

The knots in your stomach tighten, every nerve in your body already aflame from his words. He’s so fucking sexy.

“I ordered wine for the table, you like wine right?” He asks while pouring you a glass of crimson red liquid, “I can order something else if you don’t.”

“I’m really not that picky,” You give him a genuine smile, “I trust your judgement, I’m sure it’s nice.” You reassure him as he seems nervous, or maybe it’s because you’re nervous and you’re reading into things too much. Afterall he’s done this countless times with countless women, you’re no different from the rest. A camera flash from the other side of the window grabs your attention, you glance in the direction it came from before Jungkook slides over your drink.

“Don’t pay attention to them,” He’s quiet but assertive, “You’ll get used to it after a while.”

“Debatable.” You feel uncomfortable, like you’re just another name in his little black book. “Is there a certain way you want me to act…? Do I need to do anything specific?”

“What? No.” He’s quick to dismiss your questions, reaching a tattooed hand over the table for you to hold. “Just be yourself, they can’t hear us from out there anyway.”

To any onlooker you might look like a genuine couple on a Friday date night, but the truth eats away at your insides as more cameras flash the moment you take his hand. Jungkook senses your discomfort and rubs his thumb reassuringly on your skin. It’s a pity that the situation is only a business arrangement to him, because you realise that he would be a great boyfriend. He’s caring, he’s funny, smart, driven, an absolute sex god in the bedroom and well, he makes you feel safe. As much as you hate to admit it, he’s growing on you.

It's a feeling that’s amplified over the evening as you get to know him better. You learn that he’s an only child to his Korean-born parents, he went to school in America before deciding to move to the UK and set up business here. He’s known Taehyung his whole life and very much considers him to be his best friend, he eats pretty much anything but he doesn’t like citrussy flavours – lemon being his least favourite. It’s not what you expected from someone like him at all, he wasn’t born with a silver spoon in his mouth and had the world handed to him. He’s earned it, built everything he has from the ground up to be who he is now. It’s such a turn on seeing him like this, so much so that desire starts to cloud your judgement.

“Actually I have a present for you,” You smile knowingly, feeling a little buzzed from wine, having just finished an incredible pizza. “Put your hand under the table, so nobody else can see.”

Jungkook obliges, reaching his hand beneath the table cloth with furrowed brows, “A present? What kind of present?”

You grab the tiny remote from your purse and place it in his palm with a shit-eating expression. Under the table you can feel him trying to work out what it is, it’s when he presses a certain button that a faint hum causes you to jump in your seat.

“Is this what I think it is?” He asks with a smirk, his eyes hooded and blown out with lust.

“Maybe. Depends what you think it is.” You sigh, the light vibration of the panties beginning to make your head spin.

“Y/N…” He warns, clicking another button that speeds up the sensation. “You don’t know what you’ve just done to me.”

You chuckle, biting your lower lip to suppress a soft moan, “Don’t I?” Your suspicions were correct, his reaction is absolutely priceless.

He’s looking at you with a tight jaw, one hand gripping the stem of his wine glass while the other secretly works out the functions on the remote, “So fucking dirty, you really want to come so bad that you give me this kind of power, in a restaurant full of people?”

“I’ll be quiet I promise.” Your head almost lolls back from the growing pleasure between your thighs before you manage to catch it, brushing if off as though you’re stretching your neck. “It already feels so good.”

For the second time tonight Jungkook’s mouth falls open, dumbfounded by what he’s seeing in front of him. His grip tightens on the glass as he downs the remains of his wine, clicking his tongue when he’s finished. “You’re... Such a fucking brat,” He mumbles, “Showing up here looking like that and begging me to make you come. I bet you’re already so wet.”

“Mmm,” You nod, “I am, want to see?” You knock a clean knife from the table and kick it between your legs, a smug smile tugs your lips, “You appear to have dropped your knife Jungkook, you should grab that.”

Without a moment of hesitation he’s under the table, roughly spreading your legs apart wide enough to see your wet pulsating panties. You hear him mutter something that sounds like ‘fuck’ as he pushes the fabric to one side, his inked digits smearing your slick up to your clit. A quiet moan escapes you before you have the chance to catch it, the restaurant is full but nobody appears to have heard you and thankfully nobody is looking in your direction.

“You have no fucking idea what you’ve just done.” He’s loud enough for you to hear, pulling your panties back to their original position before he picks up the discarded knife and returns to his seat. “Would you like a dessert?” He acts calm, though his ragged breathing and balled fist on the table suggest he’s feeling otherwise.

“No thanks, ready to leave when you are.” You’re borderline laughing at his expression which doesn’t go unnoticed – a split second later the setting increases. “Oh-“ You gasp, quickly scanning the area to make sure nobody heard it.

“You sure? I don’t plan on leaving just yet.” It’s his turn to be smug as he calls the hostess over, “Can I get the tiramisu please? Thanks.”

“And how about you?” She asks, notepad in hand.

“Uh-,” He increases the speed once again, because you’re so wet the panties are sticking to your sensitive bundle of nerves, the new vibration against it is enough to make your heart race.

“Do you have gelato?” Jungkook asks her with a smile, “Y/N you look a little warm, gelato will cool you down.”

“Mhm, gelato sounds great.” You manage to breathe out, “Any flavour is good thank you.” You chip in before she asks.

It takes everything in you not to moan, you are warm, heat rapidly spreading your body as the euphoric wave draws in closer and closer. You don’t even notice the waitress walk away, too focussed on the intensifying pleasure under the table.

“I’m so fucking hard right now,” Your date shifts uncomfortably, “Tell me, how good does it feel?”

“So…good.” Your breath is shaky, hands gripping your glass hard enough to break it.

“Are you close baby?” His voice is low and dripping with lust, the pet name adds a certain pang to your growing arousal as you nod in agreement. “You are? Have you always been this filthy? With your exes, I mean.”

You shake your head, briefly holding his eye contact, “Only for you.”

A possessive growl rumbles inside his chest and before you know it the speed setting is increased again, your mouth falls open and your brows furrow as you involuntarily press your thighs together, your wetness spreading down to the very tops of them. You’re painfully close to reaching ecstasy when the hostess comes back over with your desserts, winning you to gulp and attempt to fix your facial expressions.

“Thank you.” Jungkook is quick to take a forkful of his, waiting for the lady to walk away before he holds the cutlery to his mouth, “If only this was your wet little pussy.” You watch his tongue lick the cream from the underside of the fork agonisingly slow, he moans softly with closed eyes, nodding his head, “Tastes so fucking good.”

“Jungkook…” You’re breathing heavily with your mouth, chest rising and falling with each breath, you’re so turned on that your nipples are hard beneath the thin material of your dress which wins a dark expression from the man across the table. “I’m gonna-“

The vibrations stop all of a sudden winning you to whimper from the loss of stimulation, pressing your legs together in an attempt to find any friction.

“You should eat your gelato before it melts.” The way Jungkook’s looking at you should be illegal, he’s acting calm and collected but that couldn’t be further from the truth – the truth remains untold, visible only in his eyes, he’s feeling just as desperate as you. “Try and be quick though, cause I’m gonna fuck you so hard for this.”

“This cost like three grand, don’t ruin it.” You moan against his lips, back firmly pressed against his bedsheets with his arms caging you in. For the first time ever you’ve actually managed to make it inside Jungkook’s bedroom, the other times you’ve visited you’d both got too carried away and ended up fucking somewhere else, but not tonight. Tonight, by some miracle, you’re atop of his white bedding, tongue swirling against his, fingers tugging at his shorter hair and hips buckling up to his crotch as you silently beg for attention where you want him most.

“I’ll buy you a new one.” He murmurs between messy kisses, biting down on your lip when you tut in response. “I’ll buy you whatever you want.” You groan every time he kisses your neck in a certain spot, sucking the flesh harsh enough to mark. “You can have whatever you want from me baby.”

You whine loudly as he completely pulls back, resting his weight on his knees. He’s looking down at you like he’s hypnotized, his inked hands trailing their way up your thighs before he quickly spreads your legs apart. A moment later he’s physically tearing your new dress from your frame, ripping it from the neckline all the way down to the bottom of the material.

“You have no idea what you do to me.” He sinks down to your now bare breasts, tongue finding your left nipple instantaneously while his fingers tweak the right.

“Fuck!” You whimper, throwing your head back into his pillows. You couldn’t care less that your dress is ruined, the mental image of Jungkook’s sheer strength as he tore it off you was better than any piece of clothing – and something that will no doubt haunt you forever.

“Fuck me Jungkook, please fuck me-“ You’re shamelessly begging him, you need to feel his cock buried inside you now. “Fuck me, god, fuck me.” You’re a panting mess beneath him, so overwhelmed by his skills.

“I almost forgot.” He pulls back his hand, just enough to reach into his pocket and grab the small remote you’d gifted him earlier. “How much of a brat you are.” He chuckles against your sensitive skin as you grip his shoulders in preparation.

“Take off your shirt.” You tug at the material, “I want to feel your skin on mine.” You’d never seen him naked before and the mere thought of what kind of body a guy like him must have makes you insane, “Please.”

“Please what?” His movements still completely.

Your tone changes, knowing exactly what he wants, “Please let me feel your body… Daddy.”

At this he smirks, disregarding the remote somewhere next to you as he sits back on his knees. One by one the buttons of his dress shirt are undone, and you can’t help but moan at the sight of him. Just like you suspected, he’s ripped. His tanned muscular skin is littered with dark tattoos, a full sleeve coats his right arm and there are a few more intricate pieces on his chest and stomach. How the tattoo needle didn’t snap from his rock hard abs you’ll never know.

“Oh my god.” You’re in awe, “You’re perfect.”

“Look who’s talking.” He chuckles, throwing the shirt behind him onto the wooden flooring. “Daddy wants to take his time with you tonight, consider it payback for that little stunt you pulled on our first date.”

“No please, you can do that after but please I need you to fuck me now, I’ve been waiting all night for this.” You confess, unable to peel your gaze away from the man’s body that looks as though it’s been carved by angels.

“Stop being a fucking brat,” He falls forward on the bed, catching his weight with his arms either side of your head, “The more you complain the worse it’ll be for you.”

Gripping either side of his face you crash his mouth onto yours in a sloppy desperate kiss, your final attempt to get him to cave and fuck you immediately.

“You make me crazy Y/N.” He groans against your lips. Without you noticing he’s found the small remote, turning the vibrations on full against your soaking core.

“Oh-!” Your back arches from the new sensation, these panties might just be the best investment you’ve ever made, “Please let me come this time-, please.” You writhe beneath him as the sensation causes a wave of euphoria to crash over you, your orgasm already fast approaching. “I started taking the pill over a week ago, I want you to fuck me raw, right now.” You’re pleading with him, “Please daddy fuck me raw.”

“Such a dirty little slut,” Jungkook moans, pushing his clothed cock against your vibrating panties. “If I fuck you right now I’m not going to go easy on you baby. Is that what you want?”

“Yes!” You reach for his belt, unbuckling it effortlessly, “You can punish me all you want, but punish me with your cock please.”

Jungkook doesn’t need telling twice, your words igniting a fire inside him that pushes him over the edge, completely losing any ounce of self-restraint he had moments before. He quickly rids himself of all clothing, his hard length springing free and slapping him in the abdomen in the process. The vibrations are white hot now, your orgasm is almost upon you, your body shaking underneath him.

“I’m gonna-!” It’s Jungkook pushing your panties to a side just enough so that he can slide every inch of himself into your hole that sends you into ecstasy, your walls immediately tightening around his manhood.

“Fuck!” He groans, his face finding purchase in the crook of your neck, “You’re so-, mmmm, fucking hell.” He’s losing his mind, eyes squeezed shut as he tries not to blow his load straight away. Your pussy is still vibrating from the underwear, he’s completely and utterly addicted to the way this feels. “Y/N baby… oh my god.”

“The remote.” You wince from the overstimulation, clit still throbbing from your high. “Turn it off please.” Your legs are twitching on their own, breath shaky and ragged.

“Told you I wasn’t going to go easy on you.” He pulls his hips back and slams into hard, til the crown of his cock is pressed against your cervix. “It’s staying on.”

The sound of his grunts in your ear have you seeing stars, he’s fucking you hard and fast, you know you’re going to ache tomorrow but you don’t care, completely obsessed how good it feels to be stretched out by him. You’d forgotten how big he is, filling up any space your hole had to offer. It’s not long before your second orgasm threatens to escape, you’re so wet that besides the sinful curses falling from Jungkook’s lips, the squelching sound of your heat being drilled into is deafeningly loud.

“You hear that? You hear how fucking wet you are for me? Oh my-, fuck.” He continues to pound you hard.

“Jungkook…” You warn, fingernails digging into his bare shoulder blades.

“What did you just call me?” He bottoms out with so much strength that your head hits the headboard, earning him to pull you further down the bed by your legs in one swift motion.

You exhale, “Daddy-, I’m close.” You’re an absolute mess, your vision starting to blur from the tears pricking your eyes, this has got to be the hardest anybody has ever been fucked in the whole history of sex. Your insides feel bruised, you’re drenching the bed sheets with each of his thrusts and you’re completely spiralling into insanity.

“Come all over me Y/N, want to feel your tight little pussy come around me.” He looks equally as mesmerised as you are, in disbelief that sex could feel this amazing. You’d slept together before but there’s something about how rough and dirty tonight is that has you mewling.

“Does it feel good baby? Do you like it when daddy’s rough with you?”

“Yes-“ You’re cut off by his lips smashing against yours, he’s kissing you like he’s starving and you’re his favourite meal, groaning into your mouth as your walls start to tighten round him.

“Hold onto the headboard.” He instructs, and you oblige, wrapping your fingers round the cool metal bars.

“You’re unreal Y/N. Such a good fucking slut, your cunt squeezes my cock so well. So-, mmm, perfect.”

Just like that he’s pulled back onto his knees again, his hands squeezing your hips as he snaps in and out of you at a dangerous pace. So rough that you’re borderline sobbing. He’s watching the way your tits bounce with each thrust, your back is arched off the sheets and you’re looking at him with an expression so fucked-out and full of lust that it pulls him over the edge, spilling hot come into your throbbing pussy in bursts.

“Fuck! Ah-,” He hisses from the sensitivity, keeping up the pace long enough for your own orgasm to unfold. You’re seeing stars, convulsing in bliss as he helps you ride out your second high. He stays there for a moment, simply enjoying the view before he finally turns off the vibrating panties and pulls out.

“You…” He tries to steady his breathing as he collapses next to you on the bed, “Are something else.”

“Look who’s talking.” You try and mock him with his own words, but you’re exhausted.

“I don’t think I’ve ever come so quick in my life...”

Glancing round the bedroom you notice Jungkook is a very minimalistic man - everything is either black, or gold. There’s no decoration to the room, no big fancy paintings like you’d expected - nothing. It’s a luxurious room of course, but it doesn’t even look lived in. Maybe he works too hard and passes out on the sofa most nights, or maybe it’s because he travels a lot that he’s rarely here - whatever it is makes you pity him in a way. He has all the money in the world and yet something about his environment was lonely.

“And I’m sorry about your dress.” Jungkook laughs, eyes glancing down to the torn fabric that still half-hangs on your body. “I will actually buy you a new one, don’t worry.”

“It’s fine.” You hum, shifting on the bed until you’re facing him, slightly embarrassed at the huge wet patch you’re laid in, “It did exactly what I wanted it to do.”

“Oh yeah? And what’s that?” He looks amused, smiling brightly at you.

“Got me the best sex I’ve ever had.” You playfully boop his nose with your finger, to which he grabs and bites it. “Ouch! What was that for? I just said you’re the best lay I’ve ever had! You should be kissing me right now, not biting me.” You’re defensive but still unable to wipe the smile off your face, maybe it’s the orgasms talking but he’s so beautiful.

“Hmm.” He nods, removing your finger from between his teeth, shuffling closer, “And you might be the best sex I’ve ever had, but you’re still a fucking brat.”

“Really?” You’re surprised, choosing to ignore what appears to be his favourite nickname for you.

“Are you joking? Y/N you’re fucking amazing, best pussy I’ve ever had. And you can actually hold a conversation. I really don’t understand how you’re not wifed up yet.”

“Yeah, me neither actually,” You snort, flirtatiously nudging his arm while looking at him with big eyes, “And I haven’t even sucked your dick yet, just you wait.”

“Oh?” This gets Jungkook’s attention, he props himself up on his elbow, his free hand nestling in the bend of your waist, “Sound pretty confident there baby.”

“And you’ll see why tomorrow morning.” You wink, mindlessly drawing patterns on the man’s bare chest.

At this Jungkook gives a genuine toothy grin, his hair damp and pressing against his forehead, “You wanna stay the night?”

“Gonna have to, some asshole ruined my dress.”

He doesn’t verbally respond, instead choosing to lean forward and plant a soft, yet open-mouthed kiss on your lips. You couldn’t blame the orgasms anymore, there’s nothing else to blame at this point. As much as you want to deny it, this is the moment you realised that you were falling madly in love with Jeon Jungkook.

1K notes · View notes

strawbearytae · 1 year

Note

omg i was missin papercuts guk so bad girl

i was thinking a little fic with that tik tok trend where the moles on your skin are where you past lover kissed you and oc and jk compare moles and are like, "even if we weren't together before, I wanna kiss you here too" type of vibes thing yk. pls just pure fluffffff

kiss stains

pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader

genre: fluff, established relationship, college au, slice of life

Studying your scantily-clad body in the mirror, you wandered how much muscle mass you had lost in the past 3 days that you hadn't gone to the gym. The whir of partying with your friends and hanging out with Jungkook had completely made you forget about your sessions at the gym. It was difficult to divide your time around them since your friends still thought of Jungkook as Jaegguk. You let out a small sigh before pulling on Jungkook's t-shirt that hung off one shoulder and a pair of loose shorts.

"Hey," Jungkook came up from behind you, kissing your head before looking at you through the mirror, "Are you done changing? I wanna watch Tototro again."

"But I wanna watch Ponyo." You pursed your lips in a frowned-pout as you watch his face scrunch into a smile.

"But you watched Ponyo last week... please... I wanna see the big bunny?" He pleaded, lightly pulling at your pinky to drag you to his bed to start the movie.

You let out a comically dramatic sigh before crawling into his bed, not missing the small smirk that enveloped his face as he crawled into next to you. After ensuring the two of you were fully covered by his comforter, he enveloped his arms around you as he started the movie.

You comfortably situated yourself on his chest as you did so many times before, tilting your head the slightest to watch the large bunny spirit.

"The house is so clean." You commented, a habit you had developed while watching movies after the many nights with Jungkook's unceasing comments. "I wonder why they're cleaning it again."

"The house hasn't been used in decades." You could hear the slight horror in Jungkook's voice at the thought, "It should be crawling with dust and dirt."

As if he predicted it -which he had since you two watched the movie 3 weeks ago- the traveling soot started to emerge from the shadows.

"They're kind of cute though." Jungkook commented.

"Just like your moles."

"Huh?" You looked up at Jungkook to meet his furrowed brows, "Did you just say my moles look like traveling soot?"

"No." You giggled slightly at his apparent confusion, "I said they're cute." Seeing as he wasn't convinced by the skeptic look on his face you shook your head in amusement, "You know that saying about your moles and your past life?"

Jungkook's confusion didn't fade, "You mean that thing about the marks on your body being traces of how you were killed?"

"Yah!" You smacked his thigh through the sheets playfully, "You know that's not what I mean."

"Hopefully not since I got moles all over my face." He laughed, "So, what about the moles on my face and my past life?"

"They say that the moles on your face are where your lover used to kiss you the most in your past life." You turned in his lap to face him before gently tracing his face with your forefinger, "So your past lover kissed you here-" you traced his cheek "here-" his nose "and here" underneath his lip.

He watched you carefully with fascination as you continued to point the ones out on his jaw, his neck and collarbone before he gently took you finger in his hand. Jungkook tilted his head as his doe eyes narrowed in on the planes of your face, "You don't have any moles on your face."

"Perhaps this is my first life."

"Then it's mine too."

"But you-"

"Ah." Jungkook interrupted before his face bloomed in delight, "I found one."

"Where?" You tried to follow his gaze before you let out a small gasp as he pressed his lips on the juncture between your neck and shoulders.

"Here." He whispered before pressing a kiss on your exposed shoulder, "and here." Then he pressed a kiss to your lips.

"I don't think I have one there." You muttered once he pulled away.

"You will." Jungkook insisted, "In your next life."

"Why?"

"Because I'll kiss you there so many times, that it'll leave kiss stains."

Your lips slightly curved up into a smirk as you watched Jungkook's cheeks redden by his own statement, "Is that so?" You leaned in to him, "Then I guess I'll have to leave some for your next life too." You pressed a kiss to his forehead, "But I want to go over this one" his cheek "this one" his nose "and this one" below his lip.

"W-why?" Jungkook whispered as he cupped the side of your face, looking up at you from his lap.

"Because even if we weren't together in our last life, I wanna make sure the kiss stains in your next life were all from me."

His lips curved up into a smile, and his thumb caressed your chin before he pulled you into a kiss that would leave stains for the next few centuries.

permanent taglist

@wintrhrtt @kimchigguk @bubblytaetae @chimchimmarie @babycoffeefire @mrslilysmoon

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gggukniverse · 8 months

Text

cool with you | jjk

title: cool with you

pairing: jungkook x trans male!reader

genre: hurt/comfort, fluff, established relationship au

summary: the dysphoria hits you as you're getting ready to go out with your friends but jungkook is there to make you feel better.

warnings: a little breakdown because of dysphoria, mentions of a gender-affirming surgery, jungkook calls you love because i'm a SLUT for that petname.

wordcount: 2.7k

note: hey 👀 so... i'm aware that there's not a lot of male!reader and trans male!reader content here so i wanted to try and write a cute little drabble for people who might want to read this type of content. i hope you like it a lot !!!

"can i borrow one of your shirts?" you ask loud enough for jungkook to hear from the bathroom after having no luck finding a nice shirt in your side of the closet.

"of course you can," jungkook replies with his voice a little muffled and you turn to the open bathroom door, he's brushing his teeth. "you don't even have to ask." he adds.

"okay, thanks babe." you blow him a kiss and he winks at you before moving back to the sink.

you quickly find a nice oversized soft pink shirt with a darker pink drawing on it. you don't waste any time, taking your shirt off immediately and put his on, walking towards the mirror to check the look. it's a cute look, jungkook's shirt looks good with your baggy light blue jeans with wide pockets.

but you hate it. you like the fit but you hate how it looks on you. and it is all because of the same thing as always, your chest. your stupid chest that always ruins everything. you can see the curve on your shirt from your boobs even with your binder on and you fucking hate it. you hate it so much that when you look up to see the reflection of your face in the mirror you can notice how miserable you look all of the sudden.

it's not always like this. usually, you just suck it up because there's nothing you can do about it for now, but sometimes the dysphoria hits too much and it feels like you're drowning in all of your insecurities.

"ah, isn't that shirt cool?" jungkook speaks behind you and you turn around to look at him. his smile completely fades away as soon as he sees you. "what happened?" he asks, his wide eyes suddenly filled with worry.

you're so lucky to have jungkook, just one look at you and he already knows something is up. he always knows.

"i... i don't..." the worst thing is that you feel embarrassed to say it out loud.

jungkook has been your boyfriend for over two years. you met him when you had just started transitioning and he always supported you, right from the start. you know he will always be there to listen to your worries and insecurities because he loves you, so you shouldn't be embarrassed about things like this. but even after everything, it is still difficult.

you turn back to the mirror and take another look at yourself, slightly turning to check your profile. your shoulders drop and you sigh in disappointment when you can clearly see your stupid chest through the shirt.

"love." jungkook speaks with that gentle and careful tone, like he's thinking about what he could say to comfort you because of course he knows what's wrong. but he doesn't really say anything, he just walks up to you and wraps his arms around your waist from behind, resting his chin on your shoulder and looking at you through the mirror.

"what?" you avoid his eyes as yours go down to your chest, then to his arms wrapped around you. he has strong arms and they make your body look so small when he holds you like this. you kinda wish you were also big and strong like him, the only thing that's keeping you from having another dysphoria breakdown over not being bigger is how nice it feels to be held by him.

"you look really cool." your boyfriend says as he looks up and down your body but you can only sigh.

"i look stupid." you say.

"you don't." he lifts his head from your shoulder to instead nuzzle against your neck, leaving a sweet little kiss on it.

"i do," you insist and jungkook's breath hits your neck from how he sighs. "i don't even know why you..." you shut your mouth before finishing the sentence because it would hurt too much to say it but jungkook looks up from your neck with a frown and rests his chin on your shoulder again, never breaking the backhug.

"why i what?" he asks curiously, his eyes narrowed as they look straight into yours through the mirror.

"i don't- i don't know why you like me." the knot in your throat almost doesn't let you finish the sentence but you somehow do.

"what?" jungkook frowns, he looks at you like you've said the craziest thing he's ever heard. "literally what the hell are you talking about?" he actually sounds mad and you flinch a little at the tone of his voice but he instantly turns you around to face him and he cups your cheeks with his hands. "can you please tell me why you think that?"

"it's not that i think you don't like me," you clarify, suddenly feeling even smaller. "but i don't know... you like boys, and i don't look like a boy. it feels like i'm not... manly enough." you mutter, your voice so quiet with embarrassment that you're sure jungkook wouldn't have heard you if he wasn't so close to you.

"are you a boy?" jungkook asks simply.

"jungkook-"

"are you?"

"yes."

"then why are you saying those things?" he brushes your cheeks with his thumbs. "i could not care less about what's under your clothes and if you look more or less manly, whatever the hell that means."

"but i care," you say and immediately look down when your voice breaks and the first tear rolls down your cheek. you can hear jungkook sigh, not an annoyed sigh but a defeated sigh, you know this is not easy for him either and you can't blame him. "i'm so tired." you put your hands over your face as you start crying and jungkook wraps his arms around you, pulling you closer to him in a warm hug.

"it's okay, love, i'm here." he rubs your back as you wrap your arms around his waist and bury your head on his chest, not having half a mind to feel bad for wetting his shirt with your tears.

"i just want to feel good with myself, it's all i've wanted for years, but it's so hard." you sob against his chest.

"i know it is." jungkook hums and holds your head to his chest with one of his hands, slowly brushing your hair to try and calm you down a little.

"i go out and strangers refer to me as a girl, i look in the mirror and i don't see a boy, my body sucks... i fucking hate it." you're full on sobbing now. you're crying like a baby and jungkook is so gentle with you, he holds you until your sobs have turned into little whimpers and a little headache is starting to bother you. that's what you hate about crying, the headache after.

"look at me, y/n." jungkook speaks softly, as if not to disturb you.

you look up at him and he quickly brings his hands to your face, cupping your cheeks gently and starting to wipe your tears away. "i'm sorry." you sniff and he frowns.

"why are you sorry, love?" jungkook leans down and leaves a kiss on your forehead that makes you feel a little giddy even in your current state.

"i don't know," you force a chuckle. "for crying over something so stupid."

"it's not stupid," he shakes his head. "it's something that is upsetting you, that's never something stupid."

"i love you." you say and feel a little better when he smiles.

"i love you too," jungkook gives your lips a little kiss. "and you look fucking cool with this fit." he adds.

"i don't," you insist and ignore the way he rolls his eyes to turn around again and look in the mirror. "i'll wear a big hoodie or something, anything that covers this." you point towards your chest in frustration.

"it's really hot outside, if you wear a hoodie you're gonna melt into the ground." jungkook says and sits on the edge of your bed, not taking his eyes off of you.

"i don't care," you say. "those are the types of things you have to endure, but you wouldn't understand," you turn around to gesture at him with your hand. "you already have that flat chest, you have nothing to worry about."

"don't hate the player." he puts his hands up and you can't help but chuckle a little.

"stupid..." you mumble as you go back to look for some other clothes in the closet.

"also, not to brag but i might have more boobs than you." jungkook jokes and you throw your head back in laughter. you appreciate that he knows how to make you laugh in moments like this.

"yeah, if you don't stop going to the gym." you say, going through his clothes.

"you want me to stop going to the gym?" he asks and you turn around to look at him. jungkook is looking at you with a dangerous smirk and a cocked eyebrow.

"careful," you warn him and he breaks in a laugh. "you know i don't want you to stop going." you walk towards him until you're standing between his spread legs.

"i know," jungkook hums as you run your hand through his soft hair. he puts his hands on your thighs as to keep you in place, his fingers playing with the side pockets of your jeans. "you love using my chest as a pillow, of course i would know." he says, making you laugh.

"they are really squishy." you bring your free hand to his chest and poke one of his pecs, making him squirm away from you.

"stop!" he giggles, grabbing your wrist to pull it away. he ends up intertwining your fingers together.

"you use my chest as a pillow too." you say as you keep playing with his hair with your other hand.

"should i not?" he asks, voice a bit softer now as he gives your hand he's holding a little squeeze. you know he's still careful around certain topics sometimes.

"you can, it's okay." you shrug with a little smile because you find him so cute.

"okay." he nods and suddenly lets go of your hand to wrap his arms around your middle and pull you closer, his head pressed to your stomach.

"will you... will you miss my boobs when i don't have them anymore?" you ask quietly. both of your hands are on his hair now, playing with the soft strands between your fingers.

"huh?" he hums.

"i mean, i know you like them..." you trail off but he doesn't say anything so you keep talking. "i wonder if you would prefer me with boobs."

jungkook pulls away just enough to look up at you. "what are you talking about?"

"i don't know."

"love, i just told you i don't give a shit what's under your clothes," he says. "i fell in love with you, not with your boobs, you know."

a little smile grows on your face. "i fell in love with your boobs, actually." you tease him and he chuckles a little.

"okay, but seriously," jungkook continues. "i'll like you just the same when you have a flat chest. i'll like you even more because i know you're gonna be a lot happier."

"so you don't care that i'm not gonna have boobs anymore?"

"even if i cared, who gives a fuck what i think about it?" he frowns. "you're the one who decides what you want to do with your body."

"i know." you nod.

"so please, don't let those ugly thoughts cloud that pretty head, okay?" he says as he slips his hands under your (his) shirt and places them on your waist, just leaving them there like he needs that skin to skin contact. "in my eyes you're fucking gorgeous now and you'll be fucking gorgeous after."

you can't help but smile and bend down a little to kiss him, your hands slipping down from his hair to his cheeks.

"i love you." you say after breaking the kiss.

"i love you more," he smiles and gives you another kiss. "you're so handsome, love."

"okay, enough with the praises," you giggle as you stand up straight again. "i know you enough to know where this is going and i don't wanna be late."

"it's not my fault you're horny all the time," he pouts and you gasp, letting your jaw drop dramatically. "you know it's true, so don't even try to act offended."

"i hate you." you sigh and turn around to walk back to the closet.

"you don't." he says and you can hear the smile in his voice.

you take jungkook's shirt off your body and grab one of his favorite hoodies, putting it on and walking to the mirror. you check your profile and sigh in relief at how the thick material doesn't let your chest pop out as much as the shirt, but you're still a little disappointed.

"you know i've been promoted at work, soon we will-"

"jungkook, stop." you cut him off, already knowing where this is going.

"soon we will afford the mastectomy." he says either way and you sigh, turning to him.

"you're not gonna pay for it, jungkook." you try to sound as serious as you can because you know how stubborn he is. you actually know he's not gonna listen either way because you've talked about this so many times before so you don't really know why you keep trying.

"i'm not gonna pay for it, i'm just gonna help." jungkook replies easily with a shrug of his shoulders.

"this is my thing, i have to pay for it myself." you insist.

"love, you know you can't afford it."

"that's why i'm saving up."

"and that's also why i'm saving up too, because i wanna help you pay it." jungkook says.

"jungkook."

"if we save up together this will be over sooner, do you know that?"

you go quiet.

"it breaks my heart to see you like this, to see you so frustrated because you want something and you can't have it." jungkook stands up and walks slowly towards you. "just let me help you. i want to do this with you." he takes one of your hands in his and you lower your head to look at them. your hands look so small in his, but that's also something you kinda like.

"i don't want you to waste money on me." you mutter.

"i'm not gonna waste that money," jungkook says. "thanks to that money i'm gonna see you happier and more confident than ever, i can't fucking wait to spend that money on it."

you exhale through your nose and lift your head up again to look at him. "you're too sweet."

"i know." he sighs dramatically, making you laugh again.

"i love you."

"i love you too," jungkook whispers before kissing you again. "my pretty boy."

"stop..." you warn him and he chuckles.

"c'mon, go get ready." he gives your ass a little slap.

"do you think i look good like this?" you step back a little to let him see the look.

"you look great," jungkook says. "i love it when you wear my clothes."

"i love wearing your clothes," you smile wide and grab your phone from the nightstand. "i should get going."

"mh, okay." he nods as he walks out of the bedroom, you follow him.

"don't wait for me, i'll probably be out until late." you tell him and jungkook hums.

"okay, tell eunji happy birthday for me." he says and walks to the couch, grabbing the remote from the coffee table before sitting down.

"i will." you say while he starts looking for something to watch on the tv. your gaze goes down to your body, fixing the hoodie a little.

"love," jungkook calls you and you look up, he's already looking at you. "you look so good." he says.

"do i really?"

"yes," he nods. "so good that if you don't leave now i won't be able to let you go."

you throw your head back as you laugh. "okay."

"have fun, keep me updated if anything happens." he tells you and you just hum.

"love you!" you say as you disappear down the corridor towards the door.

"love you more, handsome!"

A/N: i hope you liked this little fic !!! as a non binary person with craaaaaazy dysphoria this one has an important place in my heart, all of us live through these things in different ways but i hope you enjoyed this story. thank u for reading <3 let me know if you would like to read more about this couple in the future 👀

(also, i'm still working on the part two for basic needs so hang in there !! it's coming)

#jungkook fic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #jungkook x male reader #jungkook x trans male reader #bangtan fanfic #bangtan fic #bangtan imagines #bangtan reactions #bangtan x reader #bts fanfic #bts imagines #jungkook imagines #jungkook reactions

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thebangtancloud · 2 years

Note

hello! may i kindly request an angst reaction to when after breaking up with y/n and her moving out, the members find all the things they gave her over the course of the relationship sitting on their once-shared bed or returned to them via mail? thanks so much i love u

You return the things that he gifted you after a breakup ~ BTS Reactions

Genre: Angst, Post-breakup blues. Warning: Curse Words.

A/n: thank you for requesting this, i love u too <3

Kim Namjoon:

"RM-ssi," a young man's voice floated towards Namjoon.

"Yes?" He looked up, gently setting his book down and holding his hand out for the man who had a small box in his hands.

"This came in with your name," the staff explained. "Here you go."

"Oh, thank you," Namjoon bowed a little, taking his glasses off and blinking down at the box. It felt light, but a sudden heaviness made its home over his chest, gulping anxiously at the brown cardboard.

Rather than tearing it open, Namjoon spent a good two minutes looking for a box cutter, sitting down comfortably and placing the box over the coffee table, ready to open it.

"What's that?" Hoseok wandered towards Namjoon, curious eyes peering over the man's shoulder. "Fan mail?"

"I don't think so," Namjoon shook his head with a slight frown. "I think I know who sent this in."

Gently cutting through the tape over the opening of the box, Namjoon's trembling fingers reached in just as Hoseok settled beside him.

"Oh," both men commented blandly at the sight.

With a touch as soft as a feather, Namjoon pulled out a zip-lock plastic bag, the delicate silver chain glistening under the lights of the practice room.

"(Y/n)?" Hoseok asked gently.

"Mhm," Namjoon nodded a little. "I didn't think she'd return this."

"I'm sorry, bro," Hoseok murmured under his breath. "That was a really messy breakup."

"It's all in the past," Namjoon shook his head. "T'was the best for both of us."

Hoseok hummed a little, picking up the chain after Namjoon set it aside.

"This is really pretty, though."

"Keep it," Namjoon chuckled under his breath. "I have no use of it, now."

"I think you should keep it," Hoseok suggested with a little smile. "What if she comes back?"

"I don't know, Hoba," Namjoon sighed deeply. "I don't think she'll come back to me."

"You never know," Hoseok shrugged lightly, patting Namjoon on the shoulder.

"You just never know."

Kim Seokjin:

"Seokjin-ah," the sweet sound of his mother's voice brought a smile to Jin's face the moment he entered his house.

"Eomma?"

"Surprise," the beautiful woman came into view, the sweetest of smiles making her eyes crinkle at the corners.

"Eomma!"

Regardless of his age, the man skipped his way across the living room, jumping excitedly into his mother's open arms.

"You're here early! You were supposed to be here next week!"

"I wanted to surprise you," she murmured fondly, running a hand across the top of Jin's head. "Happy to see me?"

"More than you would ever know," Jin hummed in contentment, bending down to rest his head against her shoulder. "It's the happiest I've felt in a while now, thank you for being here, eomma."

"My little one," she whispered gently. "It must be a really rough time."

"Really is," he agreed in a small voice. "Come, let's sit."

"Okay, also!" The woman turned on her heel, reaching for the little bag that she had placed in the corner. "This came in for you. The delivery guy was at the door so I picked it up for you."

"He just gave you a delivery? Without asking for anything?"

"That surprised me too," she spoke with a frown. "He didn't even ask me for a signature. Just gave me the bag and left."

"What-" Jin paused, eyes misting over with tears. "Ah..."

"What's in it?"

"It's a watch," he explained, clearing his throat and looking up at the ceiling in an attempt to keep his tears at bay. "The watch I bought for (Y/n)."

"Oh," she gasped lowly. "I'm sorry, sweetheart."

"No, it's okay," he shook his head quickly. "It's all okay."

"Would you like me to..." she trailed off, suddenly feeling uncertain of what she was about to say.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing, nothing," she quickly waved him off. Jin's eyebrows raised in question.

"Would I like you to what?"

Gulping down nervously, she touched the side of his arm gently.

"Would you like me to go meet her?"

"You'd do that?" Jin's eyes grew wide in surprise.

"Yeah," she murmured gently. "(Y/n) is a sweetheart, from the few times I met her, I had a feeling that she felt comfortable with me. Maybe I could speak with her?"

"About what?" Jin wondered.

"Nothing, really," she shrugged. "Even if I could comfort her, I guess I'd feel a little better about it."

"Eomma," Jin looked away sadly. "I'd be eternally grateful if you did that."

"You don't need to be," she laughed a little. "She's like my girl too."

"I'm sorry," he suddenly whispered. "I ruined everything."

"Don't you go down that road now," she warned, snatching the watch from Jin's hand with a little smile.

"I'll give this back to her. It's her's, after all."

Min Yoongi:

Yoongi took a moment to simply breathe out the anxiousness that seemed to claw at his throat from within, a nervous hand holding him up against the wall.

It had been four weeks since he'd been home. Four weeks since he'd been out of the country for work and four weeks since you last contacted him after notifying him of your shift from the house the two of you shared.

With a final deep sigh, Yoongi shook his head, entering the passcode and holding his breath until he was in and locked the door behind him.

The house was dark. Even though he was just in the living room, Yoongi could sense the absence of you, the absence of your things. He could feel the emptiness.

After a difficult moment of contemplation, Yoongi decided to text Jimin and let him know that he'd be over to stay the night at his place. There was just no way Yoongi could survive this silence.

Dragging his suitcase behind him, Yoongi left it next to the couch, briefly glancing at the bedroom door and immediately turning away. He'd avoid that room at all costs, at least until he felt strong enough to face the pain of you not being there.

Maybe he could just get himself a quick sip of water and slip out of the house without much thought. Yoongi was beginning to feel suffocated in the otherwise large space of his house. He scratched at his head absent-mindedly, looking around and walking into the kitchen, thoughts as loud as the silence surrounding him.

He stopped his journey not even two steps into the kitchen, hand still on the switch beside the refrigeration, eyes trained on the marble countertop.

Four books, two wooden picture frames, and a guitar that was neatly packed in its black Yamaha cover were all that were there to greet him.

Yoongi simply let his eyes flutter shut. Visual memories flashing behind his closed eyes, some of the purest moments that he spent with you, just the two of you at the top of a hill nearby, the morning sun, the guitar in your hands, and the notebook in his.

Yoongi couldn't stomach the fact that you felt the need to return a memory that he thought would remain burned into his brain until the day he took his last breath. You just had to.

Yoongi shuddered.

Suddenly all he could remember was the pain that he inflicted upon you. Harsh enough to make you leave behind a beautiful piece of the two of you.

Suddenly all Yoongi could think of, was you.

Jung Hoseok:

"Ew, cobwebs," Jungkook grimaced, still going to the extent of running his hand along the wall and looking back at it with a scowl.

"Hyung, your place is really dirty."

"I haven't been here in a while, Jungkook," Hoseok rolled his eyes at the maknae who was holding up his finger that had darkened with a thick layer of dirt.

"But still," Jungkook frowned, "you should've come by to keep it clean. What about your plants?"

"They must've died," Hoseok's voice dropped in disappointment. "Ugh."

"Uh oh," Jungkook shrugged, sensing danger and choosing not to comment any further. The young man disappeared into Hoseok's bedroom, leaving the saddened-looking man in the hallway.

Hoseok sighed deeply, his hand reaching out to touch the wall, or rather, the empty space on the wall that once had a picture of the two of you with his dog hung up for everyone to see.

"Hyung!"

Jungkook's voice called out for Hoseok, who dragged himself across the dusty floor in search of the younger lad.

"Look," Jungkook pointed to the bed when Hoseok entered. "It's (Y/n)'s clothes."

"Jungkook-ah," Hoseok reached for the maknae's shoulder. "Can you stay out for a minute, please?"

Blinking in shock at the tears that were shining in his hyung's eyes, Jungkook nodded without a single word, gently patting Hoseok on the back before walking out and closing the door on his way.

Hoseok took a moment to run his eyes over the pile of clothes on the bed. The pain that pinched his heart when he realized that they were only the clothes that he had bought for you made Hoseok look up with a dry chuckle that buzzed through his chest.

"Shit," he cursed with another bland laugh. "This sucks."

His hand reached for the leather jacket at the top of the pile, a single tear falling straight onto the material as he let his fingers trail over the length of the zip. He thought about it for a moment, and then let held the jacket up to his nose, burying the entirety of his face into the black material.

"Fuck, this perfume," Hoseok dropped to his knees, fingers clenched in pain. "Ugh, why did she have to leave this back?"

Jungkook stood outside the door, back to the wall and head tilted up in an attempt to not let his tears fall. Maybe he should just go water the dead plants. Maybe he shouldn't stand by and listen to the heart-breaking cries of his hyung.

Maybe he shouldn't be reaching for his phone to call you.

Park Jimin:

"Yo," Taehyung whistled, "I haven't seen this in ages."

"What?"

Jimin paused when his eyes landed on an all too familiar piece of technology.

"Where'd you find that?"

"In this drawer," Taehyung pointed to the little table on the right side of his bed. "I thought you lost it or something, it's here?"

"It's not mine," Jimin admitted. "I mean, I used to use it sometimes, but it's not mine."

"Really?" Taehyung looked surprised. "Whose is it?"

"Uh..." Jimin blinked, deep in thought.

"It needs to be charged," Taehyung observed after trying to turn the iPad on. "If it's not yours, then why do you still have it?"

"Show it to me," Jimin held his hand out towards Taehyung. "I haven't seen that in ages too."

"Dummy," Taehyung chuckled humorously. "It's in your bedroom and you haven't seen it in ages? What's wrong with you?"

"Everything," Jimin whispered under his breath, letting his hand trace the back of the iPad with a sad smile.

"This was (Y/n)'s."

"Oh," Taehyung was quick to deflate. "Sorry man."

"Nah," Jimin brushed it off with a brave smile. "It's all good."

"She left it back?"

"I mean," Jimin chuckled sadly. "She used to draw little characters on this. She used to draw us. It's only natural that she wouldn't keep this."

"Sorry man," Taehyung apologized again, feeling horrible for opening up a wound that he knew hadn't healed yet.

"It's alright," Jimin nodded. "I'll charge this and do something about it."

"Like?"

"I dunno," he admitted in a murmur. "Maybe try sending it to her. Maybe throw it out if she doesn't want it."

"Why don't you keep it for yourself?" Taehyung suggested. "It's a fully functional iPad. I mean, if you want, you could delete the drawings and stuff, but keep the iPad."

"I don't think I could," he whispered, letting his chubby fingers trace the back of the iPad again.

"This is her favorite color."

Kim Taehyung:

"...yeah, we had a bunch of-"

Taehyung froze at the sight of the package in front of his door.

"Hyung, I'll call you back."

"When wi-"

Taehyung disconnected the line before Seokjin could complete his sentence, the phone slipping into his pocket straight away.

Kicking the door open, Taehyung struggled to drag the heavy box inside, running towards the kitchen to bring a knife to help open the shipment.

It took him a painful moment to register that it wasn't the shoes that he'd ordered online, but almost everything that he had once bought for you.

His hand reached for the white envelope, a low gasp escaping his chest at the weight of it.

"I had to pay you back, please don't fight me on this."

Taehyung read the words out loud, not even bothering to look inside the envelope because he knew he'd find the exact amount of money that he had once paid for the loan that was over your head without you knowing.

Taehyung didn't know whether to laugh pathetically or cry even more miserably when he pulled out the Gucci Teddy Bear that he had bought for you just two months ago, his very own shirt over the stuffed animal which had been tucked in neatly at the corners. He knew just how much you loved wearing that shirt of his.

"Ugh (Y/n)," Taehyung groaned under his breath, pulling out the three broad canvas' that he had once given you, his very own version of the two of you on the day you first met in the middle of a football turf running after the same dog, another one of him holding your hand when the two of you were on a little boat, and the last one was a family portrait that he had attempted to paint, the two of you with a little black and brown furry ball of cuteness sitting on your laps, Yeontan.

"You're so annoying," he grumbled, staring numbly at the paintings before placing them on the floor and settling down onto his butt.

"I swear to God if you've put that camera in here, I'm coming for you."

Even if he felt like shit upon seeing all the things that you had sent back via mail, a strange sense of relief filled him from within when he couldn't find the camera in the massive box filled with things he was yet to remove from it.

"Good," he spoke to no one in particular. "At least you have something to remind you of us."

Jeon Jungkook:

"Jimin!"

"Dropping the honorifics, I see," Jimin's eyes narrowed at Jungkook who was marching towards his hyung.

"What- Jungkook-ah!" Jimin squeaked in surprise when Jungkook had him pinned to the wall, collars crushed within Jungkook's mighty grip and his jaw clenched in fury.

"Did you touch my things?"

"What? No!"

"What's this perfume on you? Where'd you find this?"

Jimin turned to look away when Jungkook bent further to sniff Jimin's neck.

"Hey- leave me! Creep," Jimin scowled at the tall man, pushing him by his chest and straightening out his shirt.

"Got my ironed shirt all crumpled, man!"

"Where'd you get this perfume?"

"I got it from that cupboard next to the door, you idiot!" Jimin slapped Jungkook on the chest. "God, you scared the shit out of me."

"The cupboard?" Jungkook turned to face the main door.

"Yeah," Jimin pointed to the brown one that was built into the wall. "There are like five different perfumes there, but why do they all smell so fruity? You don't usually wear that scent?"

Jungkook quickly skipped his way towards the cupboard, opening it and numbly staring at the bottles of perfume that were placed right beside his caps.

Noticing a little paper by the wall, Jungkook pulled it with his forefinger and thumb, his eyes immediately tearing up when he recognized your handwriting.

"They remind me of you. I can't keep them and they're too expensive to throw out. Give them to Jimin."

"What's wrong with you, man?" Jimin wondered out loud when he noticed the maknae grow eerily silent.

"The perfume," Jungkook looked at Jimin over his shoulder.

"Do you like it?"

"I love it."

"Okay," Jungkook nodded softly, a sad smile taking over his expression.

"Pick your least favorite one and leave it back for me. You can keep the rest."

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banghyunchanji · 6 months

Text

Imagine Jungkook when he tells you that you two need to break up

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pffbts · 1 year

Note

Hello! How are you? :) Yes, I would actually like to request a JungKook reaction to y/n using a lip balm with his favourite flavor, please.

genre: slice of life; fluff; comfort; established relationship.

characters: jeon jungkook x gn!reader | no supporting character.

w.c: 1.7K

author’s note: because it’s close to winter, i’m myself obsessed with putting my favourite lip balm on my lips, constantly, 24x7, so this was such a cute coincidental request, lovely anon! i hope you stay safe, wherever you are, happy readings!

[03:23 PM] [don’t just stand there, a thousand unbearable steps away. i would like you to keep me safe.]

―with ghostly footsteps, you stepped inside the familiar residence of your next-door neighbour, jungkook and as it seemed like usual today, the smell of paint welcomed you in his place. after all, the highly anticipated art exhibition of his in the big city was right around the corner but of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean, a man has to be cooped up in his painting room hours after hours. he needs to have something other than the smudge and smell of paint all over him.

in regards to that thought, wrapped in your left arm, you held three tupperware boxes in which your mother had packed some late lunch for, according to her, “that child” next door.

although you knew where to find the boy for whom these lunch boxes were, you decided that it would be better to lay back low and put them into the refrigerator for now. jungkook might be too engrossed in the piece he was working and at the end of the day, you didn’t want to be that one person to break his waves of inspiration.

so you thought, he can have them for dinner tonight and who knows, he might find himself to be happily surprised discovering the dishes of his delight.

the afternoon sun was enough to light up the open kitchen and you padded across the span of the living room to open the fridge, all in absolute silence. there was nothing really to catch your eyes inside it except for the countless bottles of banana milk but because you were already used to it by then, you paid no heed to it and securely placed the three tupperware boxes before gently closing the fridge.

and, as you did so, you heard a very familiar voice inside the confinement of these very familiar walls.

“_______,” it seemed he hadn’t talked for a while because when he called your name, it sounded hoarse and of course, you were surprised as you were sure in your heart that you were not planning for such turn of events.

“jungkook!” you gasped as your eyes widened and you quickly turned on your heels to face his standing figure on the other side of the kitchen aisle. you hadn’t even realized he was there behind you. you felt terribly embarrassed as you realized he might have seen you placing foods inside his fridge in the mildly lit kitchen like a ghost.

but jungkook’s eyes were drowsy and he looked like he was bathing under the sun. in his hand you noticed, was an empty bottle of mango juice.

“when did you come?” he asked you casually as he switched on the kitchen lights and walked up close to you before disposing the empty bottle of mango juice in the trashcan.

“oh sorry i didn’t mean to disturb you. i was just here to deliver the food maa made for lunch. there was some extra…so she thought, why not you have the rest of them?” you explained, “they’re your favourites too.”

“hmmmm,” jungkook hummed as he looked down. it seemed like he was trying to pick out words to give shape to his thoughts but his brows were furrowed and being concerned if he was feeling well or not, considering these days because of the upcoming art exhibition, jungkook has been nothing but busy with his paintings, you extended your arm and wrapped your palm upon his tense shoulders and felt the muscles spasm as he lifted his head up instantly.

“are you okay? do you want to lie down a bit or…?”

jungkook shook his head and without saying anything, raised his arm to press his right thumb upon your lips. you pulled your head back slightly but the deed was done. he had rubbed out some of the cherry lip balm you were previously wearing.

“hey! what are you-?” you were about to ask him the cause of his action when you found him smelling the trace of your lip balm upon his thumb.

“i knew it,” he said calmly.

“you knew what?” you asked him flabbergasted.

“you are wearing my favourite lip balm. i could smell it from the other side of the room.”

“hold on, wait. first of all, what do you mean your favourite lip balm and second of all, you could smell my lip balm from across the room?”

this time jungkook smiled and stood right next to you. he was almost a head taller than you so when he wrapped one of his arm around your waist to feel your warmth against him, he could easily rest his chin upon your head and as if on reflex, you wrapped one of yours around him too. jungkook closed his eyes and the smile was still glowing on his face.

“anything cherry flavored is my favourite so naturally, it is my favourite lip balm of all time.”

“i had literally no idea if i’m being real honest with you,” you gaped at the new knowledge.

“it’s alright. i don’t mind really. i’m glad you wore it though.”

“but,” you pulled your head back and looked up at him, “how the hell can you smell anything other than paints in this house?”

“maybe our noses are built different,” jungkook stated, quite gleefully as if he was enjoying the confusion reflecting upon your face.

you hummed back in agreement. yes, it might have faded from your memory but you were known of this fact that he does have a very cautious nose. he can really detect what and from where certain smell might come from. also, jungkook has always been sensitive to perfumes. he has never really liked anything heavy. so now that you could think about it, his choice of lip balm doesn’t seem to baffle you anymore.

“you look like you have more questions,” jungkook proposed by giving a soft squeeze to the side of your waist his palm rested.

“yes,” you stared at his sleepy eyes.

“ask away,” he asked gingerly.

“why did you check the flavor of my lip balm like that?”

“by putting my thumb on your lips?” his eyes roamed a little bit upon your face before he continued, “my hands are clean, i promise, ______,” at this point, you two were only whispering. the sound of your voices in enough decibel for the only person for whom the words were.

“no, that’s, i don’t mean that, do you do that to others too?”

“you know i don’t really have a social life, right?”

“well, yeah, i know that,”

“then? do you want me to check in some other way next time?”

“why do you even need to check again? i wear this all the time nowadays,” you snickered half-heartedly.

“i mean i don’t know, it might become my comfort smell for the rest of my life, like you have petrichor for yourself,” this time he put out his other arm and had then completely wrapped you in this awkward position of a hug – your side pressed to his front, “you’re to me what the smell of rain is to you, ______, my favourite thing in the world no matter where i am.”

“jungkook,” you laughed in disbelief as you said his name, “if you have so much time cheesing around with me, maybe give this little guy some attention, okay? your lunch is in the fridge. i have to go. maa will kill me if i’m late, alright?” you gave his toned stomach some light caress before gently getting yourself out of his warm embrace.

“won’t you stay till i finish my lunch?” jungkook reached out to hold the end of your fingers, like a child who doesn’t want to be left alone.

“jungkook…i wish i could. we are meeting some relatives in the evening so i really have to go. i have to run some errands on behalf of maa.”

jungkook grimaced. he stepped forward and engulfed your palm in his before leaning in to press a delicate kiss upon your lips. you took the moment’s intention to go up on your tippy toes to give him a smooch on his plump cheek and as you pulled away from his face, the smile was back at the corner of his mouth. you, in return, mirrored the beam on his face.

“when are you coming back after this dinner with your relatives?” jungkook inquired with a plan in his head.

“probably 10 PM, but i’m not sure. my mother always gets into a chatty mood whenever she’s with a close family member. why do you ask?”

“i was hoping if i can see you before i go to bed tonight,”

“you will come to my place? when my mother’s there?” surprised you questioned the boy in front of you.

“i have to return those tupperwares, right?” there was a glint in his eyes and you knew what he meant.

“oh, so you’ll use that excuse to catch a glimpse of me, huh?” you grinned.

jungkook sighed loudly. he was trying not to break out in a big toothy grin as he squeezed his eyes shut and faced the ceiling.

“ah, i’m caught.”

“yes, you are. of course, you are. now go and eat.”

you walked out of the kitchen and headed for the door. jungkook followed you behind, holding the door for you as you stepped outside. his face looked so much more better than some minutes ago when he had discovered you in his kitchen, putting foods inside his fridge like something opposite of a thief.

“see you,” you told him as you turned around facing the neighbourhood but before you took a sharp turn towards your place next door, you looked back at jungkook and chuckled.

“make sure to return those boxes tonight!”

fin.

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kimnjss · 2 years

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Bts reaction to you asking for a hug 🥹

NAMJOON— joon was definitely a guy that valued his space, and while that cooled down a bit.. it didn’t change when the two of you were sleeping. he’d cuddle with you up until you were falling asleep, then he’d carefully slide from underneath you and sleep on his own. normally, he’s pretty good at this… able to slip from underneath you without waking you up. tonight was different and you were feeling a bit more attached, considering he was leaving for his vlog trip soon. you’re stirring the moment he’s pulling back, shifting so you’re much closer to him. ‘can you hug me a little longer?’ you’re mumbling and he swears his heart melts, not hesitating to wrap you in his arms once again and that’s how the both of you fall asleep.

JIN— it would be after a heated argument, like directly after. a screaming match is what it should’ve been called, neither of you actually listening to each other - just shouting. he had stormed off to cool off, afraid that he might say something he didn’t mean. and you’re going to find him a few hours after that. he’s sat in your room, playing games and you bite your tongue - holding off on another argument. how could he sit there and play games while you were fighting? you don’t say anything, though. you hated arguing with him, especially over stupid things. not even sure why it started in the first place. you’re dragging yourself over, apology heavy on your lips but it doesn’t come out right away. your first instinct to wrap him in your arms, leaned over the back of his chair and your head resting on his shoulder. he’s stiff in your arms and your pouting, craning your head to look down at him. ‘don’t you want to hug me back?’ and you look so adorable saying it, he can’t help but give in.

YOONGI— (cyberslut couple) your period was late. and not just by a few days, like a few weeks late. and you can’t remember the last time you and yoongi had even purchased a condom. all at once, you can see the life you wanted for yourself fading to black and it’s the scariest thought you’ve ever had. you didn’t have time to be pregnant when you were so close to graduation, an internship in australia just months away. you couldn’t have a baby. there was no way. no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t seem to calm down… so you’re doing what you always do when you’re worried. calling yoongi. he’s over in three minutes flat, unsure what’s going on but knowing that you need him. ready to fix whatever problem you have, but stalls when you’re telling him what it is. his face looking a lot like how you feel. it’s five whole minutes before he’s coming up with a solution, a list of options for you. and while it’s all well thought out with your best interest in mind - it’s not exactly what you need. in fact, it’s the exact opposite. he’s talking so much, while sobs fight there way up your throat and before you can stop it you’re breaking down. ‘yoongi, please. just hug me and tell me it’ll be alright.’ he’s cutting himself off at the sound of your teary voice, rushing over to pull you into his arms before saying exactly what you needed to hear.

HOSEOK— for one, hobi had no idea that jimin was coming to visit him. he’s nearly losing it when the younger guy is popping up in his hotel room - suggesting they go out to eat. he had been so nervous that seeing a familiar face was immediately calming his nerves. jimin picks the restaurant, offering to treat his best friend before his big night and of course hobi agrees. it’s halfway through the meal when jimin starts excessively checking his phone, peaking over at the entrance as if he’s waiting for someone. he’s waiting for you. apart of the surprise that came a little too late. he’s shooting up as soon as he spots you, waving you over with a large smile. and hoseok’s confused gaze follows, jaw dropping when he sees you hopping over and he’s quick to rise to his feet. minutes pass as he stands there staring at you, unsure if it’s in his head or if you’re actually there. until he’s hearing the laugh you let out, arms spreading our wide. ‘well aren’t you gonna hug me?’ you’re laughing and he’s quick to rush around and into your warm arms.

JIMIN— you loved your job. jimin knew that and he loved to see the happy look on your face whenever you were tackling a new task. but in these past few weeks, he was noticing that you weren’t really enjoying it anymore. where you’d jump at the chance to work longer, excited for the new projects that you could lead but now you seemed to be dreading every minute you were clocked in. and once he’s sure work is what’s stressing you out, he doesn’t waste any time before he’s asking you about it. jimin doesn’t expect for the way you break down, sadness weighing your shoulders as you tell him about the new guy that’s swooped in and stolen your spot. your position being cut in half and he’s no stranger for taking all the credit for your work. you’re in the middle of the details of your last dispute with the guy when he’s noticing your body language. and he knows what you need long before you’re even saying anything, he’s known you for long enough to know when you needed a guy. so in the midst of your ramblings, he’s reaching out to pull you into his embrace. body curled on his lap and his fingers tangled in your hair, he holds you there for a moment letting you know that it’ll be alright. while brushing away the instinct of buying your company and firing that asshole.

TAEHYUNG— you loved the year and a half break your boyfriend and his band mates were on, mainly because you got to see him everyday whenever you wanted to. you had missed him during his busy schedule, so you had every intention in milking the new time you had together. a year and a half seemed to fly by, though and it wasn’t long before they were announcing a comeback tour. deep in the promotions for their new album and they’d start touring in the next few months. the fans were happy and you knew that the seven of them had been wanting to get on stage again, but you can’t help but feel a little bit bummed out. and the feeling doesn’t leave for a second in the months to come, becoming the strongest when you’re driving him to the airport. your relationship still a secret, so you’re not even able to get out of the car to see your boyfriend off properly. the rest of the members are exiting first, greeting the cameras and reports that are waiting for them, the fans that are waving and fighting the urge to bum rush them. taehyung turns to you, a sad smile on his face. ‘it’ll be over before we know it,’ he assures you, not sure what else to say in a situation like this. but his words of encouragement was the last thing you needed. ‘can you just hug me until they come looking for you?’ you’re asking and he’s laughing, head nodding. and he coos as he pulls you into his chest.

JUNGKOOK— it was a mutual decision. the timing wasn’t right for your relationship and it was better to get out now rather than dragging it out and potentially ending up hating each other. all the love was there, it’s just the fact that you didn’t have time to be a proper couple and that was causing quite a few arguments. it was best to call it a quits while you were ahead. despite the choice to separate, jungkook is still offering to help you move out. even going as far as hiring a moving company to take all the boxes you packed back to your old apartment. a place you’ve been dreading going back to. you don’t even remember what it looks like there, haven’t stepped foot into your room since jungkook was printing out the key and now you were expected to move back like you’ve been there all along? it just didn’t seem to be fair, nor did it make any sense. why couldn’t things be easier for you two? you loved each other; shouldn’t that be enough? you’re not looking at him fully until your car is fully loaded and he’s standing there awkwardly. and you hate the thought of this being the last time you see him, the last memory of him being that sad look on his face. so positive that he doesn’t want the same, so your arms are lifting before you can stop yourself. ‘can you hold me for a while?’ the words are barley leaving your mouth before he’s crowding you, arms right around your body and his face nuzzled in your hair.

#kim namjoon #kim seokjin #min yoongi #jung hoseok #park jimin #kim taehyung #jeon jungkook #namjoon reactions #jin reactions #yoongi reactions #hoseok reactions #jimin reactions #taehyung reactions #jungkook reactions #bts #bts reactions #bts fic

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taexual · 7 months

Text

sleepwalking ● 3 | jjk

pairing: jungkook x fem!reader

genre: rockstar!jungkook / exes to lovers

warnings: explicit language, suggestive themes, SLOW BURN

words: 6.6k

read from the beginning ○ masterlist

chapter 3 ► guess my fairytale has a few plot holes

It was eight in the morning when the tour bus arrived in Krakow, and everyone was in a good mood.

The day was beautiful and the excitement of starting the tour was still very prominent, so even the heavy sleepers, who could have slept through a hurricane and merely flinched during an earthquake – that is, Yoongi and Jungkook – both went out to stretch their legs and get coffee when the bus stopped at a gas station.

You observed everyone with Namjoon and Hoseok, until the two of them got too engrossed in a conversation about Rated Riot’s upcoming album—especially the demo song that Hoseok had sent Namjoon just before leaving for tour, even though the label wasn’t expecting a new record for, at least, eight more months.

“I brought most of my equipment,” Namjoon was saying. “So, if you want to see how the song might sound, we could get together and work on it.”

“Yes,” Hoseok agreed right away, then turned to you. “How many days until our first hotel stay?”

“About a week,” you said, looking back at the bus behind you. “Do you want me to check specifically? My phone is insid—”

“Oh, no, it’s fine. A week’s—a bit long,” Hoseok turned back to Namjoon. “You think we could record on the bus?”

“If it was empty, maybe,” Namjoon said, bringing his index finger to his chin. You lifted your eyebrows as you listened to him. “Should we stop somewhere and have everyone get out, so we could record? Could we even do that?”

You were mildly surprised by their determination, considering that the tour bus had terrible acoustics. Not to mention, even empty, it was a whirlpool of various noises: the rattling of the window shades, the whirring of the mini-fridge, the clattering of the mugs by the sink.

“How about you set up a recording studio at the next gas station we stop at instead?” you joked, but the two of them exchanged looks as if they were genuinely considering this. Quickly, you clarified, “guys, no. Could you wait just a little bit? Concentrate your creative energy into writing for now, or… maybe find a studio to rent for a few hours?”

“Ah, that might work,” Hoseok said thoughtfully. But just as he was about to add something, Namjoon nodded his head at the scene in front of you three: Jungkook and Taehyung were running away from Yoongi after having, evidently, just stolen his last cigarette.

Yoongi was yelling incoherent curses at the two as he chased them to the corner of the gas station and then paused to catch his breath. While Jungkook took a drag behind Taehyung’s back, Taehyung offered Yoongi his own pack of cigarettes and sprinted away as soon as the older member took it from him—because the pack was empty.

With another tirade of curses at the ready, Yoongi immediately broke into a run after them again. You could still hear the younger members laughing as they rounded the corner.

“Idiots,” Namjoon commented warmly.

You watched the chase in front of you with a small, wistful smile—this felt a bit like you were on a school trip. And this feeling was amplified when the school bully prototype in the form of a twenty-six-year-old man, Sid, stopped in front of you. He was, actually, called Isidore—for his grandfather—and you wondered if calling him by his birth name would make him disappear, like an exorcism of sorts.

“Hey,” Sid said. Then, he glanced—somewhat awkwardly—at Hoseok and Namjoon, and nodded curtly at them, before looking back at you again. “Could I speak to you?”

You’d have rather jumped in front of an oncoming truck that was driving past you on the highway.

You looked at the two boys next to you for help, but they both lowered their eyes, suddenly very entertained by the pavement under their boots.

“Sure,” you were forced to say, but tried not to make your irritation too obvious on your face. You prided yourself on being diplomatic. And, in any case, Sid hadn’t technically done anything obnoxious yet—but you knew him well enough to expect it.

The two of you walked further away from everyone else together—three other people could have fit between you as you walked—and Sid stuffed his hands in his pockets, seemingly looking for a way to start the conversation.

“How was the show last night?” he chose to ask.

“Great,” you replied, although it probably made no difference to him. “How’s Minjun’s jetlag?”

“Great, great,” Sid repeated, likely not even paying attention to your follow-up question. That was all the better for you; you didn’t really care about his answer, either.

Another few meters later, he stopped walking and looked over his shoulder to make sure that no one else was close enough to overhear—no one was. You and Sid were partially hidden by one of the buses.

“So…” he started. “Did you notice anything weird about Jungkook lately?”

Now you started to care.

You turned your whole body to face him. “What do you mean?”

“Well, you know.” He shrugged. “Irrational behaviour? Maybe moodiness? I don’t know.”

Your frown deepened, yet you hesitated with your question. “What… are you talking about?”

Sid’s smile spread—it was your surprised pause that gave you away. “You did notice!”

You’d already suspected that Sid would know something about Jungkook’s weird behaviour; now his grinning mug seemed to confirm it.

“Well, he’s on tour,” you tried to rationalize. “Of course, he’d act differently.”

“I mean, of course.” Sid nodded with exaggerated sympathy like he was just trying to be nice, but he knew that your reasoning was completely wrong. “But it’s probably even harder for him now that he’s single again.”

He was nearly soaring when he saw the surprise on your face.

“What do you mean, ‘again’?” you asked. The last formal relationship, to your knowledge, that Jungkook had had was a while ago—and, conveniently, you happened to be the one he had dated. He didn’t have time for relationships now. At least, that was what you’d assumed.

“Ah, see, I told him that he should talk to you about this, but I knew he wouldn’t. That’s why I’m doing this,” Sid said, finding himself very noble. He made an effort to look hesitant, even uncomfortable. But you saw the twitch of his lips when he spoke, “Jungkook was dumped four days before the flight to Prague.”

The engine of the bus behind Sid started as soon as he said this, so you weren’t sure if you flinched because of the unexpected noise, or because of the unexpected news.

“Someone,” you said, “broke up with him?”

“Yeah,” Sid confirmed, his face contorting into a pitiful grimace that looked about as fake as everything else about him. “They were together for a few months, which isn’t much, but he said the relationship meant a lot to him. He said it was something different, you know? So, I’m really surprised he didn’t tell you.”

Again, he mentioned the fact that Jungkook kept this from you—really rubbing it in your face—and you clenched your jaw, forcing yourself to keep your eyes on his.

“Mmhm. Right,” you said. “And that’s why he’s—?”

“Yeah.” Sid was nodding before you finished the question. “I’m only telling you about it because I’m worried.”

“You’re worried,” you said, finding this even harder to believe than the fact that Jungkook was in a serious relationship with someone and didn’t think it was important to inform his manager. “Why?”

“Because of what he might do,” he explained. “You know how obsessed he gets when he’s in love with someone.”

This was an obvious allusion to your own relationship with Jungkook, and you finally looked away to process this. You missed the smirk that appeared on Sid’s face when he noticed your rapid blinking, but you didn’t need to see his arrogance to know that it was there; you could already hear it every time he opened his mouth.

There seemed to be another reason for his spiteful satisfaction: he wasn’t just boasting about knowing more about Jungkook than you did. He was, as it seemed, also boasting about Jungkook being in love with someone else—so much so, that he’d prioritise this person over everything else, apparently.

“What are you implying, exactly?” you spoke up after a minute. “You think he’ll leave the tour?”

“I don’t know. I mean, I hope not. I know how much this means to him,” Sid said and you tried to look past his saccharine words, tried to discern if he was just trying to bite you, or if this was something you should have been seriously concerned about. “But with Kihyun’s wedding in a few days…”

Here, you needed another minute to connect the dots.

You knew that your old friends, Kihyun and Chloé, were getting married soon—they’d invited you and Jungkook to the wedding. But you both already informed them that you couldn’t make it to the ceremony somewhere in Western Europe. It was so long ago, you could no longer remember the precise location. You’d even sent them a gift already.

Naturally, you were doubtful. “Why would he care? He said he’s not going to the wedding.”

“Well, yeah, but easy for him to say when he’s a continent away, you know?” Sid replied. “Now that he’s in Europe, it’s different.”

“How is it different?” you asked. “The band’s got back-to-back shows. We’ll be in Poland, and the wedding’s—in Italy?”

“Paris.”

“Right,” you said. Of course, Sid would know this. He’d come to talk to you fully prepared.

“Well, he will have a free day, you know,” he continued and you frowned. You hadn’t memorized the band’s full schedule, but you didn’t like the possibility that Sid was right. “So, I’m just worried he might end up going there, after all. He knows his ex will be there, so, you know… Maybe he thinks they can get back together, I don’t know.”

All the “you know” and “I don’t know”’s in his speech did not make it easy for you to tell how much truth there was to his words: how much did Jungkook really care about this? How much should you have cared?

There was another thing too – if this ex was invited to the wedding of your old friends, then, chances were, you would know this person, too. So, wouldn’t that mean that Jungkook would have even more reasons to tell you about his relationship?

And, to make this even more difficult, Sid looked very pleased—like he was showing off. But there could have been countless reasons for that, too: because he was proud that he knew more than you, because he was lying, because he caught you off-guard… Then again, you didn’t exactly look at him much. Maybe he always looked like that.

Unsettled, you only nodded. “Hmm.”

“I mean,” Sid snickered, “the last thing he needs on this tour is a toxic relationship, am I right?”

You thought Sid was the toxic relationship that Jungkook had on this tour, but you only hummed again, saying, “you probably are.”

“Yeah,” he said with a compassionate sigh that sounded like plastic fruit did when you bit into it. His eyes were full of pity, too, but there was not one ounce of honesty in them—he didn’t feel bad about any of this. “I’m just letting you know, so you’re not left in the dark. Sorry he didn’t tell you.”

“You don’t need to apologise on his behalf,” you said, your tone surprisingly strict. You hadn’t meant to let your feelings show—childishly, you thought that if he could see how flustered you were, he’d win. You didn’t realise how much you resembled Jungkook in this regard.

“No, I know. I just feel bad,” Sid lied further. You clenched your fists. “You guys seem close. Guess he didn’t think it was important enough to tell you.”

You almost scoffed at this—close? You were his manager. This had nothing to do with you being close. But, of course, Sid needed another reason to feel superior.

“Right. Guess so,” you said and, with a sharp inhale, decided to end this conversation. “I have to go check something, but, uh, thanks for the heads up.”

“Oh, no problem!” he called out as you began to walk back towards the tour bus without waiting for his response.

Sid knew he got you. Taking you to the wedding had to be the easiest way for Jungkook to win this bet. He was confident that he’d just made sure that wouldn’t happen.

Namjoon and Hoseok both immediately noticed the distress on your face when you walked past them, but you ignored their concerned questions, assuring them both that there was nothing you couldn’t handle.

You entered the bus to find your phone. You wouldn’t confront Jungkook now, but you needed to see how big the gap in the band’s schedule was, to conclude if he could, realistically, make it to this wedding.

Most unfortunately, you calculated that he could. As soon as this show was over, Rated Riot would go to Warsaw, and then they had a free day before the concert in Berlin. If he travelled overnight, he could go to Paris and back in this time.

Unless Sid lied.

You couldn’t see the point, but it wasn’t above him to lie about things for no reason. You found yourself hoping that this was one of those times. Because drifting off-schedule so early in the tour was far from ideal, of course.

And not because you weren’t sure—and this uncertainty was unexpected—how the thought of Jungkook being in a serious relationship with someone made you feel.

Jungkook had, truthfully, forgotten to worry about the bet when he woke up this morning. And then right before the soundcheck in Krakow, Sid and Minjun showed up to the band’s changing room, with a reluctant Jude in tow.

His friends must have known that he was the only one still here (although Jungkook could see that Hoseok had left his phone, so he expected him to come back), and they felt comfortable to immediately settle in the otherwise empty room.

“What’s up?” Jungkook nodded at Jude. “You look hungover.”

“He’s allergic to Europe,” Minjun replied—he’d only landed here last night, but he already looked tired and about ready to go home. “Been sneezing since last night. Even the airport security got worried when they picked me up.”

“I don’t know what’s going on,” Jude said, plopping down on the settee by the wall. “My head feels so full. My eyes hurt. I’m definitely allergic to something.”

“Maybe it’s you,” Sid pointed at Minjun with a grin. “You’re the one who flew in yesterday, and he started to sneeze right after.”

“Or maybe it’s your bullshit,” Minjun countered—he was one of the few people who could keep Sid on his toes without using violence. “Or your cologne. You know you’re only supposed to spray it once, maybe twice, right? No need to bathe in it.”

Even Jungkook snorted. A powerful whiff of some exaggerated woody scent—the sort that came in a black bottle with large golden lettering—had filled the room as soon as Sid entered.

“What are you doing here?” Jungkook asked. “I thought you were going sightseeing.”

“We are—” Minjun started to say, but then paused when he tried to sit down next to Jude, and he sneezed again. “Seriously, man. Go to urgent care.”

“I’m fine,” Jude waved his hands around, while Sid laughed—the more chaotic the atmosphere in the room seemed to get, the more amusing he found it.

“We’re here to cheer you on. Why else?” Sid said, throwing a fist in the air. There was a perpetual shit-eating grin on his face. “There’s already a line of people outside. Those VIPs?”

“Yeah, probably,” Jungkook said and then realised the implication. He warned, “leave them alone. Or my management won’t let me live.”

Sid’s grin widened—clearly, he took that as a compliment—and he sat down next to Jude, leaving Minjun standing awkwardly by the settee.

“Speaking of,” Sid said, “did you already ask said management out on a date?”

“Not yet,” Jungkook said. He didn’t suspect anything from Sid’s question alone—and he didn’t catch the glimmering excitement in his eyes. “But don’t worry about it.”

Sid was not at all worried. He never was.

“See?” he said. Jungkook lifted his head to see Sid looking at Minjun. “Told you he agreed.”

Jungkook’s gaze shifted to Minjun in confusion.

“He didn’t believe me when we told him you agreed to the bet,” Sid explained. “He said this wasn’t something he’d expect from you.”

Jungkook frowned. He liked to think that he didn’t care about the opinion of his friends that much, but he wouldn’t have agreed to the bet if he really didn’t. Now he found himself irritated that Minjun, seemingly, disagreed with this decision.

“What do you mean?” Jungkook asked him, but Minjun only shrugged.

“It’s going to get messy,” he said. “I figured you’d be able to see that.”

“It’s not going to get messy,” Jungkook replied with a pretentious roll of his eyes. Of course, on some half-conscious level, he knew that it could get messy. But he trusted his ability to control this, so it wouldn’t get out of hand. “It’s just a date, it’s no big deal.”

“You—” Jude started to say and then sneezed, continuing in agitation, “fuck me. You dated for three years.”

“Yeah.” Jungkook grabbed a tissue from a box on the table by the mirror and walked over to Jude. “And we’re broken up for four. This means nothing, and you’ll see that I’m right when I win this bet.”

Sid shook his head as he sang, “she’s not going to agree…”

“She will,” Jungkook insisted. His agitation was growing, because no one in this room knew you, not like he did—so, what right did they have to make assumptions? He said, “I’ve known her for years. She won’t think much of this, either.”

Minjun looked deeply uncomfortable. He didn’t say anything else, but every time Jungkook glanced at him, he could see the way his friend cringed into himself, sliding his hands into his front pockets and pacing awkwardly around the clothes rack.

It was the first reality check for Jungkook—one of many, but he naively did not foresee that.

If Minjun—who, despite being smarter than everyone else in this room—was still Sid’s friend, yet seemed disturbed by this bet, then Jungkook wasn’t sure if he was ready for what you’d think—what you’d do—if you found out about this.

Maybe he was too prideful when he asserted that he knew you the best. Maybe he only liked to think that he did, but all that he anticipated from you was hopeful more than it was certain. He hoped you wouldn’t think of this as a big deal. But, he realised now by watching Minjun, that your reaction might not be so casual, after all.

“Yeah?” Sid challenged, breaking Jungkook out of his head. “Well, let’s see, then. You’ve got plans for how you’re asking her out?”

Jungkook turned away to grab a water bottle from the table that he’d been leaning against. “Maybe.”

Sid was a very good actor as he jumped on the couch, feigning excitement.

“Well, shit. Spill!” he encouraged. His leap had caused a flurry of dust to go up into the air and Jude managed to groan before he started to sneeze again. Sid added irritably, “if Jude would shut the fuck up, we could give you feedback.”

“Get fucked,” Jude mumbled, blowing his nose into the tissue Jungkook had given him.

“Dream on,” Jungkook replied with a sneer in Sid’s direction. “I’m not asking you out, not even as practice.”

“You piece of shit,” Sid said, his tone boisterous. “I’m just trying to help.”

“I don’t need help.”

“Alright then,” Sid went on grinning, not the slightest bit unphased by this. Jungkook, clearly, didn’t know the lengths Sid was going to take—and had already taken—to make sure he won the bet. “When should we expect the keys to the Katana?”

“Oh, did you mean the money you’ll be paying me?” Jungkook deflected. This bickering drove him further from his previous concerns about Minjun’s reaction and more towards the thrill of it all—taking you out on a date and winning against Sid. “Have it by the end of tonight. I’ll talk to her before the show.”

“We’re only paying if she actually goes with you on a date,” Sid reminded him. “Just agreeing to it means nothing.”

“I know. And I’m saying, have it ready.”

“Have what ready?” Hoseok asked, entering the changing room so unexpectedly that all four boys inside it flinched. Neither of them had heard the door open.

“Nothing,” Jungkook replied before one of his friends could. “Discussing our plans for after the show. What’s up?”

“Jin says we’re good to go in five,” Hoseok said. “And I left my phone here.”

“Oh, right.” The younger member reached for the device on the far corner of the table. “Here.”

Then, Jungkook looked back at the rest of his friends – all of them looked like schoolchildren after the teacher returned to the classroom. He felt glad, he realised, that they were staying quiet.

He didn’t want Hoseok or the others to know about this, but not because the bet was an exceptionally bad thing. He thought this was like anything else that he did with his friends. And, usually, no one approved of his other after-work activities—not even him, sometimes—either.

But, just like everything other thing that he did with Sid, this was a distraction more than it was anything else.

“Don’t be late,” Hoseok warned, not saying a word to the other people in the room before he left.

“We’re going to head out, too,” Minjun was the first who spoke up – but only after the door was closed. He seemed to make the decision for all of them, because Sid looked comfortable enough to stay longer, but he rolled his eyes and stood up after meeting Minjun’s glare. “Good luck at the soundcheck.”

“Yeah, and don’t worry,” Sid added, winking, “I’ll take good care of the bike.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes and slapped Sid on the shoulder with his palm when he walked past him.

Jude stopped in front of Jungkook. He looked ready to say something, but then he inhaled deeply, as if preparing for a sneeze, and chose to just quietly leave instead.

“Seriously, go see a doctor if this persists,” Jungkook called after him before the door of the changing room closed.

Left alone, he shook his head and looked over his reflection in the mirror.

The bet was just a bet. He wasn’t doing anything significant anyway. Surely, if you knew, you’d think the same. You’d find it stupid, but he’s done worse things. This didn’t mean anything; it wouldn’t ruin your relationship.

It would be fine.

As soon as the soundcheck and the VIP Meet & Greet came to an end, you disappeared like you had last night in Prague, so Jungkook’s plan of getting this bet over with before the show tonight, backfired.

A part of him expected this, however, so he made sure to avoid his friends until he saw you after the show. He hoped that convincing you to go out with him (perhaps by appealing to your sentiments of seeing old friends? Or out of pity? He wasn’t sure which route he’d take yet) wouldn’t take long. Especially if he stressed how little this would mean—just a silly, friendly date.

Sid didn’t have to know about the “friendly” part of the whole deal.

Slowly, Jungkook allowed himself to think what he’d do with the $4000 that Sid and Jude would pay him—perhaps he’d tune the Katana—even though this wasn’t even about the money for him. Of course, the satisfaction of actually winning a bet against Sid would be worth five times the money that his friends would have to pay. But Jungkook was convinced that, more than anything, he just wanted to prove a point.

His friends had insisted he followed you like a lovesick puppy while you didn’t care. He wanted to show them that neither of you cared—in fact, you cared so little, that you could go on a date, and it wouldn’t have to mean anything.

Now, whether that was true, was a different thing, but he chose not to think of your touch—and his body reflexively responding to it—in his bunk the other night. He didn’t need to focus on that right now.

The performance in Krakow threw Jungkook completely off, however. This was Rated Riot’s first time in Poland, and the reception was unforgettable: all the faces of the people who sang along, who jumped when the band jumped, who reacted to every single note, every single lyric at the appropriate times and with overwhelming energy – Jungkook was positive his chest was going to burst by the time he got off the stage.

Even an hour later, after Rated Riot finished the show and met their fans, he returned backstage, where everyone hung out and did shots, and he could still feel the adrenaline in his blood.

That was how you found him – smiling to himself as he scrolled down Rated Riot’s Instagram page, checking all the posts that tagged the band tonight.

“You’re happy,” you pointed out, aware of the smile on your own face as you watched him.

Jungkook lifted his head and his smile widened at the sight of yours. He was practically radiating excitement. Chances were, if someone dimmed the lights in the room, he would have been glowing.

“Crazy,” he said. His voice was a little hoarse, but exhilarated nonetheless. “Feels like there are fireworks inside of me.”

You chuckled and took a seat on the settee next to him. You handed him a package of honey & lemon lozenges and a chocolate cupcake—the lozenges were for his throat, to make sure he was able to perform night after night, and the cupcake was to make sure he survived at all. He never ate anything before the shows, and the take-out you’d ordered was taking a while. It was likely you’d have to eat properly on the bus.

He took everything from you and put his phone down.

“It seems that the show tonight was even better than last night,” he said, peeling off the wrapper of the cupcake first. “I don’t know how that’s possible.”

“Imagine if that keeps happening after every show,” you said. “You might really catch fire by the last one.”

He snickered. Taking a mouthful of the cupcake, he hummed, “Can’ wai’ to find out.”

“Forty shows to go,” you said, patting the package of medicine. He nodded in acknowledgement. “Don’t forget to take it after you eat. I’m going to see how long it’ll be before we can go. And maybe call the restaurant. Perhaps our order didn’t go through.”

“Perhaps,” Jungkook mumbled half-heartedly, too busy chewing. Then, as he was watching you stand up, he suddenly remembered what he had to do. Swallowing so abruptly that the cupcake nearly got stuck in his throat, he jumped to his feet. “Actually, wait a second. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

You turned around. “Yeah?”

He put the remaining half of his cupcake down and wiped his hands against each other to get rid of the crumbs.

“So, uh,” he began, wiping his mouth, too—more because of a nervous tick than any other reason. “Kihyun and Chloé’s wedding is the day after tomorrow.”

Your earlier conversation with Sid flashed through your mind and you felt dread gather on the floor of your stomach.

“I know,” you said slowly. “In Paris.”

“Yeah. I was—I mean, I know we both already said we wouldn’t go,” Jungkook continued. Unconsciously, you reached for the ring on your index finger and spun it around several times. “But I actually called Kihyun yesterday, and he said he’d love it if we came.”

You didn’t even notice the implication that he wouldn’t go to the wedding alone, that the two of you would go together. You were too focused on the fact that this was exactly what you were afraid of: not only did Jungkook plan this exactly like Sid had said he would, but he was, clearly, already taking action to make this plan come true.

“And, uh, Chloé didn’t mind?” you asked.

“No, they’re both very cool about it,” he said, proud—you weren’t sure of what: of his last-minute change of plans, or of your friends, who tolerated these changes. “So, anyway, I was thinking, why don’t you and I take a de-tour to Paris after our show in Warsaw? We’ll catch up again with everyone else in Berlin, and go back on the road.”

Now you noticed.

You cleared your throat, then repeated, “you and I?”

He nodded his head once, less certain. “Yeah.”

“Well...” You tucked your lips in and lifted your eyebrows. Your eyes concentrated on the loose tile on the floor by your feet. “I can’t believe Sid warned me about this, and I thought he was just being annoying on purpose.”

You’d mumbled this in a way that probably wasn’t meant for him to hear, yet Jungkook had never heard anything clearer.

Completely stunned, he tried, “Sid—he, uh… he warned you about this?”

“Yeah.” You sighed, unsure if you should have felt grateful to Sid for letting you know of this in advance—it was hard to imagine him ever doing anything that wasn’t for his own benefit. “Why didn’t you tell me you broke up with someone?”

Jungkook was fairly certain he gasped and not at all certain if the buzzing in his ear was tinnitus or if someone was really screaming in the distance.

“I didn’t tell—um,” he paused, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. You watched this obvious display of his dislike for the turn of conversation.

After a heavy minute—that the two of you stayed frozen as if someone had paused the scene, he asked, “what exactly did Sid say to you?”

“That you were in a relationship with someone, and they broke up with you before the tour started,” you recapped patiently. It was just the two of you in this corner of the room, so no one could have overheard, but you still lowered your voice just in case.

“Okay,” Jungkook said, his eyes still closed.

“And that you only want to go to the wedding because your ex might be there,” you added.

“Mmhmm,” he half-hummed, half-squealed. “I see.”

Hopeful that Sid had, at least, exaggerated, or, perhaps, you misunderstood something, you asked, “any truth to that?”

Aware that there was virtually no right response here, because you’d think he was lying or hiding the truth from you again, Jungkook sighed. There had never been any relationship, of course. You were the only girlfriend he’d had.

Fucking Sid. The cheating bastard was trying to sabotage him.

“I—” he started to say, and then stopped. There might be a way out of this, after all.

Maybe he could use Sid’s lies and make them work. Instead of convincing you to catch up with old friends at the wedding—which could take a while, considering how set you tended to be when you made a decision; and the decision here was, obviously, declining the formal invitation to the wedding—he could convince you to help him with his love life. Either way, you’d come to Paris with him, and Sid wouldn’t have to know why.

“Okay, fine,” he said. “Yeah. It’s true.”

All the hopes you’d had deflated in bitter disappointment. You couldn’t tell if there was more to it, a different reason, perhaps, why this felt so disheartening to you, because you instinctively focused on what mattered more at the moment.

“Jungkook,” you said with a groan. “What the fuck? This is the stuff you tell me.”

Once again, he was doing something that he did not bother to inform you about—how many more times were you going to have to learn about his misadventures from social media?

“Yeah, but, you know,” he spoke even though he didn’t know what he was talking about, “we broke up, so I didn’t think it was important to tell you.”

“It is important if it’s going to interfere with the tour schedule,” you replied, and your frustration worried him.

Perhaps he shouldn’t have said this. Perhaps he should have been honest – surely, you’d believe him if he told you Sid had lied.

Oh, but then he’d have to explain why Sid felt the need to lie to you. That fucking snake—

“It’s not going to interfere,” Jungkook tried again. “The wedding’s on my day off. That’s why I want to go.”

“And then what?” you asked, smacking your palms against your thighs – this got some looks from nearby crew members, but they were used to you arguing with Jungkook. Their interest in your conversation faded as soon as they saw that it was you two making noise. You continued hypothesizing, “let’s say you get back together. Are we bringing another person on tour? Or if you don’t get back together, then what?”

“Then,” he swallowed, “we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

You knew he’d say that, but you were still annoyed that he did.

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” you admitted. You didn’t like how personal this was starting to get. Your role as his manager was somewhere in the distance now, yet you thought you had to say this, “I’ve never asked any of you guys to put your personal lives on hold for the sake of the band, but I’m giving you my honest opinion. I don’t think you should go to this wedding.”

“But that’s why I’m asking you to come with me,” Jungkook argued, his voice eager. It all made sense in his head – you’d have to agree to come now, you couldn’t have him go off by himself.

You sighed, then gave him the benefit of the doubt, “why? What difference would my being there make?”

“Well, for one, you’d warn me if I was about to make a mistake,” he said, finding himself very smart and quick on his feet.

“I’m warning you now,” you countered easily, and his face fell a little.

“Right,” he said, momentarily hesitating, but trying not to panic yet. “But I don’t think that’s a mistake. Not if there’s a chance I might—well, you know. Get back together with the love of my life.”

He felt the cringing somewhere deep in his own chest and he hoped it didn’t show on his face. It definitely showed on yours.

“Is that…” you faltered, closing your eyes. “Is that really going to happen?”

He watched the deliberate way you chose not to look at him as you asked this, and he wondered—very briefly, even reluctantly—if there was a different reason why this relationship that he was, allegedly, in, disturbed you.

It could just be wishful thinking on his part, he supposed. And it likely was.

“I-I mean, we will be at a wedding,” he said after a moment. “Romantic. So, why not?”

You could see his point—and, most horribly, reuniting with someone at a wedding seemed to make sense—but you had to make him reconsider this. He’d always been spontaneous. You had to get him to think with his head, not his instincts.

“Don’t you think,” you tried, “that people break up for a reason? Because I do.”

He took this personally, but he hoped it wasn’t obvious. At least, not in a way where you’d realise that he wasn’t at all concerned about his non-existent relationship with someone else. Because, of course, he was really concerned about his non-existent relationship with you.

“You… don’t believe in second chances?” he asked.

“Not really,” you said. Contrary to him, you didn’t need to think too much about this. “They’re only an opening for third and fourth chances.”

Swallowing, Jungkook tried to disagree, “well, not necessarily…”

“I don’t know about your situation,” you said bitterly, “because you’ve literally never mentioned this until now. So, I’m just saying what I think. And if you’re still going to do something stupid, then do you really need me there?”

“I do,” he said straight away.

“No—” you huffed, then tried again, putting it straight this time, “Jungkook, I’m not going there as your babysitter.”

“You’re not,” he agreed. “You’re going as my date.”

He had hoped he’d really done something by saying this – perhaps made your heart flutter? He even smiled as he said it, so sure that this would be what makes you change your mind.

But your face remained stoic as you shot back, “right. Because bringing a date would make it much easier for you to get back with your ex.”

Taking a moment to recuperate, Jungkook brought a hand over his hair, his fingers lingering at the ends of his wolf cut. Nothing was going well for him, it seemed, and he couldn’t help but remember Minjun’s earlier discomfort again.

He knew now that his arrogance of knowing you for so long had blinded him, and the reactions that he expected from you were merely reflections of his own. Of course, you wouldn’t go to Paris with him. He hadn’t given you a single good reason to go.

Nearing desperation, he said, “look, just… trust me? Let’s go there and see. Maybe it’ll be enough for me to see all these people that I used to know—that we both used to know—and I’ll change my mind.”

You were half-scoffing, half-yelling at this point, “you went from getting back together with the love of your life, to changing your mind in the span of two minutes! Don’t you think it’s a sign that you shouldn’t be even considering this?”

He exhaled sharply, frustrated.

Nothing. There was nothing else that he could say now.

He fired the last shot—the one he didn’t want to use, because he thought he was better than that. He knew now that he wasn’t, as he said, “I could go with Sid, Jude, and Minjun.”

This brought you two to a standstill: either you convinced him to forget about this and just stay on tour, even though you hadn’t been successful at that so far, or he got you to come to Paris with him, instead of his friends.

And he could see that you’d give in before you even said anything.

You knew he’d never come back in one piece if he left the tour right now for a one-day trip to Paris with his friends—if he’d come back at all.

Jungkook didn’t like how cunning he felt, though, as he watched you cross your arms and bite your lip, clearly disapproving of your impending defeat.

He wondered if it’d be any consolation if he admitted that this didn’t really feel like a win for him, either, even though just the fact that you’d come would mean he won the bet. He had still hoped you’d be more excited to do this with him.

Finally, after what felt like five whole minutes of silent battle as neither of you moved or looked at each other for longer than two consecutive seconds, you exhaled. It was a sigh of defeat, but not resignation.

“Fine,” you said. “If you must go, I’ll come with you. But you’re telling me everything about this relationship and why you think getting back together with this person is a good idea.”

“Sure,” he said, because he had to. He would come up with an excuse or a plausible enough story at his favourite time—later. “I’ll even book the train tickets to Paris myself.”

You didn’t think that was smart—the last time the two of you were planning a vacation together, he’d bought the tickets to and from Hawaii for the same night by accident—and you lifted your hand in immediate protest.

“Maybe I’ll—”

“Don’t worry about it,” he cut you off, grabbing his cupcake and his lozenges from the settee—to show you how responsible he was. Not enough to go to Paris with his friends, of course, but just enough for you to trust him. “I’ll take care of everything. You’ve done enough for me.”

chapter title credits: bring me the horizon, “in the dark”

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