#Jimin au
Text
They Reject You (maknae line)-03
Pairing: maknae line x reader (fuckboi! Jimin x Reader, Co-worker Taehyung x Reader, Idol Jungkook x Reader)
Warnings: swear words here and there.
Word count: 20K (approx)
A/N: long long long asf! (There's author's note at the bottom too).
Park Jimin
Jimin may have been very determined while pledging that he will make things right but right now, he's utterly confused and clueless.
How exactly does he make things right?
If he were to go by the way movies suggest, he should be sending you chocolates and bouquets of flowers. But the question is, will that do? Will that be enough? Can hurting someone emotionally be fixed by something material?
He doesn't know.
Oh, that's another thing. In recent days, Jimin's mind has been throwing questions at him which he has no answers to. Which, needless to mention, has been frustrating him to no end.
He feels like there's a lot he needs to figure out before taking any action. Because lord knows he doesn't want to mess up again and given his history he has a habit of doing exactly that over and over again.
The question that has been bugging him the most is; why does he even want to fix things with you?
It's a question Jimin wholeheartedly avoids thinking about. Because he doesn't have an answer and thinking about this particular question makes him feel a little too uncomfortable.
However, to him, the question also feels like a big empty blank that he needs to fill in order to make sense of what he should do next. Almost as if, if he figures out this one thing, he will have all his answers.
Which again, doesn't make sense to him. How can figuring out one thing give answers to the rest? But again, he should begin somewhere. Which obviously isn't going to be answering the big question.
Hence he does what he has been doing for the past few days; searching for ways to apologise on YouTube.
It's quite obvious that his YouTube searches haven't been very successful. But in his defence, it isn't Jimin's fault. It's YouTube's.
Almost every video that YouTube suggests as a response to his search, has this implication that the girl being apologised to, is the lover of the person seeking forgiveness.
Huh?
But that's so not the case. You're not his lover.
At some point, Jimin got so frustrated that he went on a mini rant to Taehyung, about how this is the 21st century and how a boy and girl need not always have a romantic relationship. And it's while he's ranting via text that he is hit by the brilliant idea of inviting Taehyung over. After all, if there's someone who's better than Jimin when it comes to the ladies, it's Taehyung.
Half an hour later, Jimin couldn't rush to the door any faster when the bell rang.
Taehyung greets the troubled boy with a scoff of disbelief. "Never seen you this excited over my arrival, ever."
Jimin is the least bit interested in paying attention to his best friend's teasing. "You gotta help me. It's already been three days and I haven't been able to figure anything out."
"It's about making up to that girl, right?" On receiving a nod from Jimin, Taehyung continues, "What was her name again?"
"Y/N."
"Right, Y/N," Taehyung makes a note to himself, having a hunch it's a name he will hear quite often. "So where exactly are you stuck?"
Jimin leads his friend to the couch so that Taehyung can have a look at the screen. "Just look at the results. There are literally thousands of responses but not one that's of use. What's the point of having internet if it can't help you when you need?!"
Taehyung snickers. "Yeah, you did go on a half an hour rant about it via text."
Jimin huffs at the way Taehyung seems to not share the same level of frustration as him. But alas, maybe him being in a light mood is a good thing after all. That way Taehyung can think optimally and come up with a solution and then Jimin can finally have a good night's sleep.
Gosh when Jimin thinks about it, it sends shivers down his spine. He really needs to sleep.
"Great! You know all about it, so now get on with it," Jimin speaks with a firm nod of determination and turns his body ninety degrees so that he is entirely facing Taehyung.
And then just keeps staring.
Taehyung stares back for a second or two and then bursts out laughing. He laughs so hard, that his ears miss the questions Jimin throws his way, querying about the cause of his laughter. He laughs so hard, that he has to place a pillow against his stomach because it has started hurting. He laughs so hard that it takes him a total of five minutes to stop.
When he does stop laughing, he utters a sentence that sends Jimin into a similar laughter fit.
"You're so in love."
Or maybe wait.
Jimin doesn't laugh.
Jimin blinks at Taehyung blankly and then scoffs in annoyance. Taehyung can't be serious. "I can't believe you're in the mood of making jokes when I'm so stressed."
"Oh, I can assure you, I'm not joking," Taehyung shakes his head with a chuckle, denying Jimin's words. "You're definitely in love."
Jimin pauses. He doesn't like how sure Taehyung seems to be of his words. It makes Jimin realise that Taehyung isn't joking. Taehyung really thinks Jimin is in love.
Huh.
"Don't you think I'd know if I was in love?"
Taehyung snorts. "Clearly not."
Now Jimin's curious. "What makes you so sure of your words?"
"Hmm, let's think for a moment," Taehyung responds, pretending to think deeply for a moment. "You have been worried sick, haven't been behaving like yourself and are throwing tantrums like a five-year-old kid. All because a girl hasn't been talking to you–"
"That could simply mean she's a very good friend to me," Jimin counters even before Taehyung can finish his sentence.
"Well, you don't kiss your friends while drunk."
Jimin shuts up at that, not because he agrees with Taehyung's statement but because he needs a moment to figure out what to reply to that. He needs to think of something that is a justifiable reason for why he had kissed you in his drunken state of mind.
Unfortunately, the best he comes up with is; "I didn't know what I was doing. I was drunk. Plus, me kissing someone shouldn't be news, drunk or not."
Taehyung nods. "Right, that's your thing. Kissing and sleeping around."
For the first time in his life, Jimin feels an odd sensation in his chest at the mention of his player lifestyle. He can't place why (another thing he can't figure out, yes) but for the first time he wishes these words were not used to describe him. But admittedly, that's who he is. It's only normal to describe him by who he is.
Jimin keeps quiet as a sign of letting Taehyung know that he can go on.
"But surprisingly enough, since Y/N has stopped talking to you, you haven't fooled around with anyone," Taehyung squints his eyes, looking like a detective who's trying to solve a complicated riddle. "Wonder why that might be."
Jimin misses the sarcastic tone completely because he's taken aback by his friend's words. It's only now that he realises that he indeed, has not fooled around with anyone in the last week or so.
It's true that he has been going to parties and have been getting drunk and have been doing what he usually does. Except for one thing, it seems. Hooking up.
Oddly enough, the thought of hooking up with someone didn't even occur to him. It's not like he restrained himself or something. It's like he forgot that aspect of his life, entirely.
What the fuck.
Taehyung silently watches the realisation play out on Jimin's face. It's entertaining, to say the least. His sweet fuckboy of a friend is in love and has zero clue about it. How sweet.
He only hopes Jimin comes to his senses while this denial is still sweet and not when it's all bitter and sour. But looking at the way Jimin is struggling, one thing is for sure and that is, he isn't going to get his 'happy realisation' just yet.
"Your bulb will take time to light up," Taehyung interrupts Jimin's thoughts, "Let me just help you with the apologising thing."
---------------------------------------------------------------
Jimin has been standing in front of your door for five minutes now. With a huge flower bouquet at that. Because according to Taehyung:
"It's not what you give that matters, it's the thought you put into it. It could be flowers, it could be chocolates–yes I know, at the end of the day they are mere materials. But what's wrong with that?
You've gotta start somewhere. What's important is that you show her that you have realised your mistake, you're sorry and that you'd never do something like that ever again. Sending gifts is not all. It might not earn you her forgiveness but it shows that you're trying and that's something."
Hence, despite not considering sending gifts as an option at first, here Jimin is, doing exactly that. But then it's not like he could come up with a better idea himself and he thinks Taehyung is right, he should at least start somewhere.
But he wanted to make it as meaningful as he could. Which is why he did a little research and showed up here himself. He needs to do just one last thing, press the calling bell.
He sighs and tells himself that there's no point in delaying it, the sooner he does it, the better. Plus, it only means that he will be able to see you after another three-day stretch.
The thought of seeing you again, does it for him. He presses the bell and with a bated breath, waits for you to open the door.
Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait long. You swing the door open and Jimin is relieved that your reaction on seeing him is that of surprise and not that of disdain. He would have run in the opposite direction and would have been too ashamed to face you had that been the case.
Despite not running away, Jimin seems to have lost his capability to talk, for all he does is stare at your face. It gets to the point where you have to be the one to ask him what he's doing at your doorstep.
Jimin looks away as soon as he snaps out of it and remembers what he's here for. He still doesn't speak and just pushes the bouquet in his hands towards you and urges you to take it.
It's not like you hadn't noticed the bouquet, it's unmissable really. It's this big, gorgeous arrangement of pink roses and the lighting of the hallway falls on the flowers in a way that makes it look like a portrait. When Jimin tries handing over the bouquet to you, you're once again taken by surprise and out of instinct you take hold of the bouquet without a second thought.
The moment Jimin knows that you have the bouquet, he takes a few steps back, bows to you and takes off.
Well, guess he did run away, after all.
You don't even get the time to question him as to why the sudden flowers as you stand there for a moment until you're sure that Jimin isn't coming back. With a confused sigh, you head back into your apartment.
"I should put them in water," you mumble to yourself and rest the bouquet on your centre table.
However, it's at this very moment that your eyes land on a piece of paper that seems to have been folded with great care and has been kept in such a way that it isn't visible from the front but only from the top.
With a small frown of curiosity, you take the paper out with your fingers. On unfolding, you find a small printed note on the left side and a handwritten note on the right.
The left side of the note read: "Pink roses signify gratitude, admiration and appreciation."
The right side of the note read: "You're not the stupid one, I am."
There's a brief moment where you are clueless and you have to think as to what Jimin could possibly mean. However, it doesn't take long for you to figure it out as you're hit with the memory of letting Jimin know how he has made you feel for a very, very long time.
One particular line sticks out and you have a hunch that his note refers to that.
"I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn’t even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve.”
Huh.
Is...Is Jimin apologising?
No way.
After that day you had thought Jimin would either just stop talking to you or would just show up a few days later as if nothing ever happened. Never had you considered that he would choose to apologise. But apparently, that's exactly what he has decided on.
Wow. This is way more surprising than the sun rising in the west.
You do not doubt that he must have taken the help of some of his friends but that's only fair. You can imagine how hard it must be for someone like Jimin to apologise to someone.
You shake your head in amusement and bring a vase filled with water to place the flowers in.
Honestly, you hadn't thought much about Jimin since that day. The way you felt lighter after saying what you had wanted to for a long time, was incredibly freeing. You were also proud of yourself for finally standing up and for sticking to your decision to cut him off. It made you wish you had done it sooner.
But now that Jimin is apologising, in his own way, you are a tad bit surprised that it doesn't throw you into a mental debate. That you don't have to battle yourself on what to do.
Things are pretty clear in your head.
You forgive Jimin.
You had forgiven him long before he even sent you the flowers. With your bottled-up emotions out of the way, it gave you the clarity you needed to see things for how they were.
You had always had a weak spot for Jimin. Jimin, not so much. You were just another girl to him. But the thing with having weak spots is that they make you vulnerable.
But Jimin is Jimin. He has no clue about these kind of things. Does he? For you, to expect Jimin to understand the sensitivity of the matter, was basically setting yourself up for disappointment from the get-go.
It's the same as looking for a mango in a banyan tree. It's fruitless.
That does not mean, that you blame yourself. When emotions that are beyond your control, get involved, the practical mind is forced to take a back seat. Romantic affection is for sure one such feeling where one tends to lose their thinking and decision-making capabilities.
You forgive Jimin. You also forgive yourself.
Does that mean you'd be okay with being friends with Jimin, again? No, you cannot bring yourself to do that.
The trust and faith you had put in him has been broken and that's enough of a reason for you to move on.
So what is Jimin to you, now?
Someone you still have a weak spot for because it's not like you wake up one day and suddenly all your feelings you harboured for a person disappears. But you know you want to move on. You know you do not wish to go back to sharing the same dynamic with Jimin ever again.
And this time your decision does not come from a place of hurt, anger or frustration. This time it comes from a place of clarity and acceptance, which is also why it doesn't seem difficult to follow through with your choice.
Nevertheless, you do appreciate Jimin giving you flowers. Although, you think there was no need for it.
For a brief moment, you contemplate if you should be texting a thank you to him but then decide otherwise when you remember that you have blocked him. Even if it's for the short span of two minutes to send a text, you don't think you're ready to unblock him just yet.
For the time being you simply settle for putting the vase at the top of one of your drawers and taking good care of them.
----------------------------------------------------------------
The next day it was a bouquet of white flowers with a note that read:
I'm sorry; on the left and I know flowers won't earn me your forgiveness but I'm trying; on the right.
It once again was Jimin at your doorstep and once again, before you could say anything, he had decided his job was done as soon as the flowers were in your hands.
You were too flabbergasted as you had thought that the whole giving you flowers thing was only a one-time thing. You didn't think Jimin would show up for a second time, just the day after, to give you another massive bouquet.
Maybe you should have seen the same thing happening on the third day but somehow you didn't and were just as surprised, if not more, when Jimin showed up with another bouquet on the third day.
Before you could say anything, Jimin was gone.
Which is exactly why you now find yourself unblocking his contact.
You: hey
You: just letting you know I appreciate the flowers but you do not need to send them anymore
You: I forgive you
Jimin is on the phone with Taehyung getting an earful about his cowardness and running, when he receives your text.
"I'm telling you, this flower thing is not going to work. She hasn't even tried to talk to me"
"From what I have heard you are the one who has never allowed her to even open her mouth and–"
"Hold on, someone texted me," Jimin interrupts Taehyung solely to avoid getting called out for the umpteenth time. However, his eyes almost fall out of his sockets when he sees that it's you. "Tae, Y/N texted me!"
Taehyung, too, is surprised to hear this. "What did she say?"
Jimin takes a deep breath, his nostrils flaring as he fills his lungs up with as much air as possible. "Right, I will open her messages."
When he does read the words you have sent him, he is even more surprised. But even more so, he is relieved. Gosh, he feels like he could cry tears of joy.
"She forgave me," Jimin speaks in a tone that is a little too loud for Taehyung's ears.
However, Taehyung doesn't protest as his friend's words seem more important at the moment. "Are you serious? She did? What did she say?"
"She said that she appreciates the flowers and that I need not send them to her anymore and that she forgives me."
Taehyung pauses for a moment and then grins brightly, the relieved and excited tone of his friend making him feel happy. "Then what are you doing fucker? Text her back, you idiot."
Jimin nods but then responds verbally when he remembers that Taehyung is over the phone and not with him in his room. "I'll text her back."
Saying so, he ends the call with Taehyung and starts typing.
Jimin: Thank you
Wait.
Thank you?
Should he say thank you? Is that the right response? But is sending a simple thank you good enough?
He doesn't think so.
Quickly deleting the typed words, he begins to think of a better response.
If not thank you, then what? How about 'How have you been?' No, no, no. That sounds way too casual.
He should send something that appears to be cool and that doesn't make things awkward. At the same time, he should text something that leaves room for a conversation. A proper one.
Geez, texting is difficult.
What if he tries teasing you like he did before everything happened? No, that would make it look like he never took the matter seriously.
Should he...should he just be uncool and be honest for once?
Should he just let you know that he feels like a bag of stones has been lifted off his chest and that he can breathe again? That he feels like he can think properly, again?
That might be too much.
But maybe he can just try letting you know that he's incredibly grateful for your forgiveness without sounding cheesy? Yeah, he can definitely do that.
Jimin: Thank you.
Jimin: that word isn't enough but that's the best I have got
Jimin: I am incredibly grateful and I promise I won't make you regret your choice.
When you read his texts a few minutes later, you're rather surprised. Is Jimin saying these things? There's no way.
But then you come to a conclusion that, there indeed is no way. Jimin must have made a friend of his type out these words. Now, that makes a whole lot of sense.
You chuckle at the thought and react to his messages with a thumbs up and leave it at that.
The moment Jimin sees you reacting to his messages, he types out another message, one that he has delicately crafted in his mind. Something light that hopefully will lead to a proper conversation.
Jimin: How have you been?
Your phone pings and you notice Jimin's text. Something uncomfortable churns in your stomach at his words. Jimin most likely thinks things are back to normal and that you two will once again bicker and joke around in no time.
Guess, you need to break it to him.
You: I've been fine
You: but I would rather have us not go back to the way we were
Jimin is already in the middle of forming another text that conveys that things won't be the same and that he'd do better but his heart literally breaks into pieces when he reads the next text.
You: I don't think we should be in contact anymore
You: it's a proven fact it doesn't do either of us any good 😂
You: especially me.
—--------------------------------------------------------
Jimin has decided to watch a movie. Not just any movie, the fault in our stars. Because he needs something to make him feel sad. Correction; he needs something that he is consciously aware of, to make him feel sad.
It's much much more annoying when you get sad and heartbroken over something and yet you cannot explain why you feel that way. Imagine suddenly getting stabbed by invisible knives that you can't see but can only feel. Yeah, it feels the same.
But who cares anyway? Jimin is watching a movie that will make him plenty sad and unlike you, it won't have him feeling like someone who hasn't been in touch with his emotions for ages.
Taehyung munches on his popcorn slowly, his focus periodically shifting between Jimin and the TV screen.
Taehyung knew something was up the moment Jimin texted him asking if he would like to watch The Fault in Our Stars. For the people who don't know, Jimin does not watch sad movies, like ever. Because irrespective of how much of a fuckboy he is, he is a huge softie on the inside (which is actually very cliche of him). But as his fuckboy-ness would have it, he absolutely hates crying.
Taehyung does not believe that Jimin does not cry or that he tries to keep his tears at bay. Because from the few times that he has seen his friend crying, he knows that he isn't someone who's good at holding his tears back. So no, Jimin does cry and when he does, he cries like a baby. However, what Jimin ensures is that he does not cry in front of anyone.
But here's Jimin, crying in front of Taehyung.
This boy is going to give me a headache, Taehyung thinks with a deep inhale as he once again shifts his focus from Jimin to the screen.
It must have been another fifteen minutes or so when he hears a small sniffle coming from his left. Huh, things haven't even turned that sad in the movie yet.
Taehyung looks at his friend only to realise his suspicions are right when he notices his friend subtly wiping under his eyes.
Taehyung takes hold of the remote and switches the TV off.
He has had enough.
Jimin looks at Taehyung with perplexed features but before he can ask a question, Taehyung is getting up from his seat to turn the lights on.
This makes Jimin quickly grab a few tissues and wipe at the corner of his eyes.
Taehyung rolls his eyes in annoyance. "Sometimes I can't tell if you're a drama queen or a little kid."
Jimin looks at Taehyung with a clueless expression. As long as he pretends he has no clue what Taehyung is talking about, it should be good.
Taehyung simply scoffs and shakes his head in defeat. "Do you want to talk about it or should I just leave?"
This has Jimin facing away from Taehyung and he scowls at the centre table. "I have nothing to talk about."
"Cool then, I have some important work to do, I'll get going."
"Sure do that. Leave me. Everyone does, why shouldn't you?"
Ah. Drama queen, it is.
"So what Y/N left? Like did she leave you on seen or something? Is that why you're so sad and upset?" Taehyung guesses the possible cause of Jimin's state from his words.
Jimin wishes it was that simple. He honestly would give anything for Taehyung's words to be right, for that being the cause of his sadness. But if only.
Taehyung deduces that things might not be that simple when Jimin does not give a verbal answer and appears to become more sulky.
Taehyung makes his way to the couch and claims his previous seat next to Jimin. "What will you take to just tell me what went wrong? I know you're dying to let it out."
Jimin looks at his friend for a moment then suddenly reaches out to grab his phone from the table. He opens your texts and just places his phone in Taehyung's hands.
With a small concentrated frown, he takes a look at the screen and goes through the chats.
"So this is what has gotten you like this," he mumbles to himself. "Have you tried talking to her and telling her that you won't be repeating the same things again?"
Jimin shakes his head. "She never gave me the chance to do so."
Taehyung hums, deep in thought. "What do you want to do now?"
"I don't think it matters."
"It does. Now tell me what do you want?"
Jimin looks up at the ceiling with blurry eyes. "I think I want us to go back to the way we were."
Taehyung, although wanting to, does not show the disbelief he feels at Jimin's words. He keeps his composure calm so that Jimin does not feel uncomfortable. "What you're saying is you want to go back to the way you would annoy her and she would put up with it?"
Jimin's spirit lifts just a little bit when he remembers how things were before and he finds himself absentmindedly nodding.
"Which would also mean going back to the way you would keep sleeping around with people and then at the same time would make flirty comments towards Y/N?"
The tiny little corner of his mouth that had lifted, once again turns into a scowl as Taehyung's words register in his brain. It's as if he's knocked into his senses.
Noticing that Taehyung has successfully managed to grab Jimin's attention, he hopes he can only make Jimin see his point. "Honestly, Jimin have you ever realised where you went wrong? Or did you apologise to her solely because you thought that was what she wanted and that would have her back in your life?"
Questions. Another set of questions. Jimin could honestly scream. But something about Taehyung's gaze makes him unable to run away from the queries like he has been doing all this time.
He considers Taehyung's words for a moment and then mumbles in a small voice, "I don't know."
Taehyung hums, having guessed that answer.
"I just wanted to apologise to her because I know I have hurt her," Jimin keeps his tone soft and vulnerable. "I may not know all the ways in which I have hurt her but I know I should have respected her wishes and should have stopped flirting with her when she had asked."
"I may not know exactly how or why it affected her but I know it led her to be angry–" Jimin breaks off suddenly when a thought occurs to him and soon he looks even more ashamed, "–and they say all anger stems from hidden pain. If that's true then I must have caused her pain."
Taehyung releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. He wonders how his friend can be both stupid and smart at the same time and why exactly does his brain start working when the damage has already been done.
"So you realise that you have caused her some sort of pain?"
"I must have," Jimin agrees.
"Have you then tried figuring out what exactly she means to you?"
Jimin's tears have dried, thanks to the ongoing conversation that has distracted him enough to have the wheels of his brain running again.
"She's someone I care about a lot and someone I want in my life."
"As a friend?" Taehyung pushes.
Jimin nods.
Taehyung hums, "I think you really need to sit with yourself and think things through."
—-------------------------------------------------------
Jimin is dumb and Taehyung is loyal.
Which is why the latter finds himself in the middle of a party, waiting for you to arrive.
A week of Jimin moping and being a sullen child, had Taehyung take matters into his own hands. Jimin could not possibly figure things out by himself even if everyone around him could. Taehyung only hopes he will admit what has been brewing for a long time, when his feelings smack him right across the face.
Taehyung leans against the bar counter, his eyes hardly moving from the entrance as he waits for you to walk through the door.
It takes about another fifteen minutes of his eyes locked on the door, for you to finally emerge.
Taehyung relaxes a breath. He had to do a lot of digging to find a common friend and for him to convince that common friend to somehow convince you to come to the party. He wasn't sure if all of this would work, but now that you're here, success is a step closer.
He gives you five minutes to say your hi's and hello's and then, he's making his way to you.
"And you must be Y/N?"
You look at the guy who seems to know you by your name and frown when you don't recall ever having interacted with him. "And you must be?"
"Taehyung. Kim Taehyung."
Your brain clicks in realisation. Taehyung, a name you have heard Jimin mention many times. However, this is the first time that you get to put a face to the said name.
"I have heard of you," you nod as a feeling of reluctance takes over you. Why is Taehyung approaching you?
He smiles. "I'm not surprised by that."
You return his smile awkwardly and wonder what you should be saying next. "How do you know me?"
"Let's just say I have heard of you as well," his smile turns into a full-blown grin as if he's enjoying this.
"From Jimin?"
"Ah yes. We both have an idiot named Jimin in our lives."
You feel your traitor heart get curious at the confirmation. Taehyung knows of you from Jimin? Jimin talked about you to his friends? The thought of that catches you with surprise as you never thought you were ever important enough to him, for him to do that. You thought you were just another girl who fell for him. However, your curiosity is soon overtaken by the thought of him making light and fun of your feelings.
"That idiot, however, speaks highly of you, which is why I just could not miss the opportunity to speak to you," Taehyung quips, sensing the thoughts inside your head.
You look at Taehyung, wondering what to make of his words. You just find it difficult to believe that Jimin speaks highly of you. One speaks highly of the people they respect and well—no, you don't want your mind to wander there.
"So you're here speaking to me, to verify the things Jimin has said about me?" You keep your tone light, playful and teasing, so as to not come off as rude. While, on the inside, you're really confused as fuck as to what to make out of this. Does Taehyung not know of the recent changes in the dynamics between you and Jimin?
"Oh no, absolutely not," he shakes his head. "I do not doubt a thing Jimin has said about you. I'm only here out of sheer curiosity and with the intent to get to know you better."
And some ulterior purposes. That part he leaves unspoken.
You observe him for a moment and relax a little when you realise that he seems genuine. You don't know, why he's here and what he wants from you, but you decide talking to him won't be of any harm.
—---------------------------------------------------------
Jimin is grumpy as fuck when he walks in and is greeted by the loud music that blasts through the speakers. Goodness, why did he enjoy partying, again?
He really wouldn't be here had it not been for Taehyung's constant nagging that he had something important to say, and that couldn't be done unless he attended the party.
Technically, his words made zero sense. Taehyung couldn't just say whatever important thing he had to say, over the phone? Apparently, according to him, he couldn't.
He prays to whatever god is out there, for the sake of Taehyung that he finds him soon.
The universe, however, has other plans.
Jimjn spots you before he spots Taehyung. He sees you smiling wide and even in the dimmed lights, he can see the way your eyes shine with amusement and joy. As selfish as it is, Jimin feels any amount of hope he might have had, leave at the sight. You're clearly doing fine without him. A part of him wishes you weren't.
It feels eerily similar to the time when he had spotted you on his way to class.
But then he realises you are with a guy. A strange emotion fills him, one that he believes he hasn't felt before, ever. He realises he's jealous. He's so jealous of the lucky bastard who's getting to make you laugh and with whom you seem so comfortable with. With that jealousy, comes a huge wave of insecurity. The guy doesn't seem to have messed up like Jimin did. He doesn't seem to be someone you feel the need to cut off your life. All of which Jimin has done and is.
However, when the light falls on the face of the said guy, Jimin is hit with a sense of anger and confirmation that the said guy is much, much better than Jimin is.
Taehyung is smart, has a good sense of humour and surely knows more when it comes to matters of the heart. Whereas, Jimin has only been confused and no matter how hard he has tried, he has been unsuccessful in clearing up the cloud of confusion.
For a brief moment, he is taken back to the words Taehyung had said to him–you're so in love–which Jimin had found utterly ridiculous at the time. However, now that he finds himself in the hold of jealousy and a brewing insecurity that only you hold the power to put a stop to, he doesn't find the idea as absurd.
He's never been in love before. But somehow he is still hit with the realisation that all his desperation, anger, jealousy and insecurities stem from one thing and one thing only. His love for you.
He is hit with more and more clarity with each passing moment as he stares at you. An overwhelming urge to make you his, washes over him and with strong, determined steps, he walks in the direction where you chat with Taehyung.
The moment the two of you realise Jimin's presence, your smile falters whereas Taehyung's widens.
"Jimin," you whisper, caught completely off guard.
"Y/N," he greets you back. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."
"Me neither," you mumble in a small voice.
"How have you been?"
Neither of you miss the fact that this was the very same question he had asked via text, to which you had made it clear that things would never be the same, instead of actually answering him.
However, now that you both stand in front of each other, you think it would be incredibly rude to not answer him. "I'm fine."
Your short answer leaves no further room for conversation and it's only when you realise that Jimin refuses to avert his eyes from you, that you ask him back the same question.
"I've been anything but fine," Jimin answers, without missing a beat.
His answer is similar to yours in terms of being short and vague. However, his response means exactly the opposite of yours.
You stifle the question that's on the tip of your tongue and push away the overgrowing concern at his answer. This is exactly why you had chosen to end whatever friendship you two had over text. You were unsure of the feelings Jimin would stir within you. Sure, you have made the choice of moving on from him but there was no denying that you haven't moved on yet.
You nod and think it would be best to include Taehyung in the conversation. He would surely know how to break the tension. However, you realise at the same time as Jimin does that Taehyung has disappeared into thin air.
Taehyung's gone, you think with surprise and disbelief, having no clue when he left.
Taehyung's gone, Jimin thinks, beaming with glee and satisfaction.
"Do you want a drink?" Jimin asks, having no intention of leaving.
"I could actually do with some alcohol," you mumble mainly to yourself, but somehow despite the loud music, Jimin manages to hear you. The very next moment he has two drinks in his hands and gracefully offers you one.
"I have a few things to say," he says after a few sips.
Oh god. Please be kind to my heart. You stay quiet. You were not prepared to face Jimin. After texting him that day, you had honestly thought that was it. It was hard for you to send him those words. So incredibly hard. But you knew it was for the best.
A part of you had wished for Jimin to regret losing you. But you knew that thought to be impractical. You knew in reality, Jimin must have slipped into someone's bed instead of giving you a second thought. You had honestly thought Jimin's attempt at apologising with flowers was merely a result of his hurt to the ego. Nevertheless, you appreciate his effort and know better than to have any further expectations from the man.
However, this is incredibly confusing. More so, because the Jimin who was sending you those flowers would run away right after he knew that the flowers had reached their destination. However, this Jimin, stands in front of you with eyes locked with yours, refusing to back down.
"I had sent those flowers to you, because I knew I had to apologise. I knew I messed up. I knew I hurt you. Don't get me wrong, the knowledge that I had hurt you was enough of a slap on my face, but I didn't know what it felt like for you," he takes a pause, "but now I do."
Jimin is aware that comparing what he has put you through with what he felt for merely a few minutes after seeing you with Taehyung, is completely unfair. However, it'd be fair to say he has got a taste of his own medicine and he fucking hates himself to have you put through that, over and over again.
"I know now, because–," he takes a deep breath, afraid you won't believe him, "–I have come to the realisation that I'm in love with you."
Your pupils dilate in shock and after a brief moment, your expressions morph into that of disbelief, much like Jimin had expected.
"I don't expect you to believe it. I know I haven't done much to earn your trust. All I ask is for you to give me a chance to prove myself."
You're too shocked to make coherent thoughts. As a matter of fact, the severity of Jimin's words doesn't click in your brain. How can it, when you have seen it for yourself how appalled Jimin feels at the thought of commitment? How can you digest the thought of Jimin saying these words, that too, to you?
"What do you want, Jimin?" You ask wanting the interaction to be cut short, afraid that the longer you stay in his presence the more you will find yourself inclined to believe his words.
"Let me take you out on a date."
Kim Taehyung
I'm in a relationship.
You absent-mindedly stare at the words on your screen as you feel the mix of emotions resurface yet again.
Taehyung is in a relationship. The Taehyung you love so dearly, is in a relationship. And if you are to go with his status updates, he's quite happy about it as well.
How do you feel about it, exactly?
You feel betrayed, hurt, confused, angry, perplexed, sad, annoyed, embarrassed, lonely, frustrated, upset. These emotions are only a few to name. There's so much you think and believe, you still haven't figured out yet. Anytime, you try to focus on your emotions in hopes that you will be able to let it all out, all you come up with is an empty feeling.
That's another thing. You haven't cried at all. But you want to. You want to just let all of it hit you at once and get it off your chest. Because the heavy uncomfortable feeling that often stirs your heart is not something you wish to deal with for long.
Sometimes your mind comes up with all the little things and moments that had made Taehyung so special to you and you find yourself this close to breaking into uncontrollable sobs. But then it just never happens. It's like someone is pressing the accelerator and the brake at the same time and you're just there, frozen in time, not knowing what to do.
You doubt if you have even fully grasped the concept of Taehyung being in a relationship. The thought that he's in one and you got to learn about it only after he committed, that too through a WhatsApp status, is completely unbelievable to you for some reason. No matter how much you try, a part of you doesn't want to believe it.
It's a whole set of emotions you never thought Taehyung would make you feel. He was your feel-good person, one of your best friends and someone you trusted with your entire heart. It's something you don't even know as to how to react to.
"Y/N!"
You blink back to reality when someone shakes you by your shoulders. "Huh?"
"You zoned out again."
"Oh," you speak in a tone of realisation, "I'm sorry–"
"Nothing to apologise for. Just forget whoever that guy is. He's surely not treating you right if you have this conflicted look on your face all the time."
If only it were that easy. You wish it was that easy.
You chuckle at your next desk co-worker, Shanaya's, words. "I will surely contemplate on your words."
"Men don't deserve shit from us if they treat us like shit," she nods seriously. "And with the way, you have had this sad-confused look in your eyes for a whole week now, I strongly doubt that man is any good for you."
Oh yeah, it's been a week.
Although, you could have been fooled by how the admittance of his relationship remains the last text exchanged between the two of you. You just didn't know how to respond to him at that time. You were too busy absorbing the shock to think of a proper response.
You had just shut your net off and tried your hardest to fall asleep. But you just couldn't get a blink of sleep and since then you also couldn't bring yourself to pretend to be fine with him, when you were far from it.
Maybe you had posted your status a little too frequently to subtly let him know that you're online and well-active on your socials but are simply choosing to not talk to him. On the other side of the coin, is the fact that you feel disheartened that he hasn't made any effort to talk to you. It's the longest the both of you have gone without talking to each other.
A hand waves in front of your face gaining your attention as your co-worker looks at you knowingly.
"See! Not good for you."
You smile at her words and shake your head softly, amused by her straightforward and direct nature.
—-----------
"How are you?"
You roll your eyes before replying. "I'm fine, I'm fine."
"Hmm," your best friend hums. "On a scale of 1 to 10?"
"Idk man, 7?"
"That's an improvement," she speaks to herself. "Now tell me, have you blocked Taehyung, yet?"
"I won't do that," you reply softly with a tone of surety.
She sighs over the phone. "Babe, he's a dick. Why haven't you cut him off yet, is beyond me."
Your best friend is of the kind whom if you call crying, she'd ask you to first get rid of the person who's responsible for your tears and then she will allow you to tell her what went down for you to cry. If only she were in the same city as you, she'd have committed the crimes herself instead of having to beg you to do them.
She's protective of you, incredibly so.
When you had told her everything about Taehyung, she had muttered to herself something along the lines of how she knew he was gonna turn out to be a dickhead. You never queried her on that because in a way you knew what she meant.
On learning about the situation you and Taehyung were in and about his unwillingness to be in a relationship, she was very firm about making her point that Taehyung was only making excuses. She was adamant that a person who really loves you wouldn't come up with reasons as to why they shouldn't be together. At the time, you had acknowledged what she was trying to say but you added that sometimes people get scared and fear often turns out to be an emotion that is rather difficult to overcome.
With much reassurance from your side that Taehyung was a great guy, she had let go of the topic. However, to say that Taehyung has now earned the entirety of your best friend's hatred, would be an understatement. You'd have been really concerned about his safety had she been in the city.
"He–", you pause briefly, "–isn't a bad guy."
Your friend scoffs. "Right. He's the worst."
"He is nice," you say a little more firmly.
"Oh! Yes please, someone please give him a Nobel prize for his niceness!"
To your surprise the tone in which she speaks, makes you burst out laughing. "You really hate him, don't you?"
"Has he ever given me a reason to NOT despise him?"
You chuckle as your laughter dies off. "Well, I don't blame you. I'd hate the guy as well if I was in your place."
"Hah! So you agree on something with me."
"But," you emphasise on the word, "he's not a bad guy. I don't know how everything turned out to be this way but trust me he has a very tender heart."
"I cannot believe you're making excuses for him, Y/N."
Her surprisingly soft tone serves as a reminder that your best friend is probably one of the most compassionate and understanding people you've ever met. The only time you've seen her behave like an angry child who's ready to throw some punches, is when you get hurt.
And admittedly, you're the same way when it comes to her.
"I'm not making excuses for him, I know him. He'd never intentionally hurt someone."
"But he did hurt you!!!"
"I know and I doubt he realises it," you sigh. "But I need to know his side of things."
"I'm sure he will run if you try to confront him," she grumbles. "He'll probably not even reply if you tell him how much of a dick he's been."
"Heyyy," a childish whine escapes your lips. "I have more faith in him than that. He respects me enough to talk things out."
She makes a sound of complete disbelief, "You bet my ass he would just pull stuff out of his ass."
"We will see," you chuckle.
You had to make up your mind sooner or later and somehow the conversation with your best friend has reminded you of the faith you have in Taehyung. If you need answers, you're sure he'd give them. Most importantly, you don't plan on losing the friendship you have with him this easily. But you don't think you'd be able to just push everything aside and pretend that things are fine. You need to clear it out. You need for him to realise that he has hurt you and you need to know how things changed so quickly.
—————————————————————
You: hey
It took you another day to get the simple three-letter word out of your system. But you do it the very first thing in the morning after waking up. Whatever roller coaster ride of emotion it is going to take you on, you want it over by today.
Thankfully, it takes only ten minutes for your phone to ping to notify you of a message from Taehyung.
Tae 🐻: hello, birdie 👋
A snort escapes you when you imagine all the lovely cuss words that would leave your best friend's mouth if she were to learn of his response to your 'hey'.
You, too, find yourself being amused yet disappointed at how oblivious he seems to be.
You: I'm sorry for not responding to your texts any sooner
Chewing on your lower lip, you click on the send button. While this text is meant to serve as an apology, it also serves as a means for you to know whether he really is as clueless as he seems. You're curious if he's at least aware that something must have been wrong for you to not text for this long.
Tae 🐻: It's okay, don't worry. I understand!
Tae 🐻: work can get busy
Tae 🐻: it's fine!
Sighing, you realise it's fruitless. You need to be upfront as there's no other way for you to go about it.
You: uhmm thanks
You: but before we catch up and all that, can I just get a few things off my chest?
Tae 🐻: sure! Go ahead.
Suddenly you find yourself feeling anxious. You are not quite sure how this is going to turn out and how you're going to put your emotions into words. It sure appears to be a difficult job considering how muddled your brain feels every time you think about the events that have led to this.
You: i don't really know how to say what i want to say lol
You: this is so awkward
Tae 🐻: just say it
Tae 🐻: it's the same ol' me after all
Some of your anxiety softens at his words.
You: i know but i just dk how to say it 😂
Tae 🐻: that's okay
Tae 🐻: would it be more comfortable for you if I were to go offline? and I can check your messages when you give me the green signal to open your texts?
Now that he mentions it, you think that would be lovely. That way you could take your time figuring out how to word your sentences without having the rush of typing things out fast over the worry of him coming to assumptions before you say the full thing.
You: that'd be great!
You: thank you!
Tae 🐻: well then, I'll go offline. You speak your heart out 😌
You: open my texts only when you see a thumbs up or a message that directly asks you to open it. Okay?
Tae 🐻: done 👍
Sighing, you relax on your sofa and think. Now that he's offline, you need to figure out what to say. Rather, where to start because you just have so much to say.
It takes you another two or three minutes before you start typing.
You: so idk how this is gonna sound or how it's gonna get interpreted but I really need this out of my chest for it's been bothering me the last few days.
You: so ummm, you know we both had openly admitted to having feelings for each other and then you told me you weren't really ready for a relationship? And I agreed to things being the way they were because I never wanted to pressurise you. I always wanted to be a friend first, whom you can trust and feel safe with, more than anything else.
You: it's true that we never had a name for what we were. But it's because of that very reason that it always remained very confusing to me as to where we stood. Especially where you stood.
You: i always could have asked in the course of the year as to where we stood but i always let you be because i was cautious that asking you, would in a way, pressurise you.
You: however, that is not to say that i wasn't put in a dilemma when i would get propositions for going out on dates or when someone would ask me out.
You: i didn't know where your feelings for me lied. While I avoided any assumptions, i also didn't act as if you did not have feelings for me. Because what if you did and then my actions hurt you? I knew how much you have been hurt in the past and i just didn't want to add to that.
Your fingers pause as you take a look at what you have covered so far. When you go through your last two texts, you go awry at the thought of sounding like someone who's claiming to have done him some huge favour.
You: I'm not saying all this to say that i have done you a huge favour or something by the way. Or that you owe me something in return.
You: I'm just saying this because when you're so cautious and thoughtful over someone, it hurts to be on the receiving end of actions that make you feel incredibly stupid.
You: it would have been better if you had told me, you know? That "hey, there's this girl i like," and I'm not saying in a way that you had to take my permission or something but just that it would have been nice to know that you thought of me and of what kind of an effect it would have on me.
You: I just wish I didn't have to learn from a WhatsApp status
You pause before thinking if you have missed anything. When you go through your words, you realise that you indeed have missed something important.
You see, in the mix of all the heavy emotions, you also are happy. You're happy for him. That's something you realised the very day you learned about his relationship. It's odd but even in the midst of all the confusion you were feeling, a part of you felt glad.
You were glad that he found someone he loves and someone who makes him happy. You also found yourself excited on his behalf.
You won't lie, you were surprised that you weren't jealous. Before Taehyung, for a long time, you had hardly had any guy in your life except for fleeting crushes. Even then, you can acknowledge the fact that jealousy is a very natural emotion to feel in this scenario. However, when you realised that you were happy for him and that happiness did not originate from a place where you had to force it, you were also proud.
To you, there's no greater testimony of your love than that.
You: i don't think i have mentioned this before but I'm really happy and excited for you.
You: go ahead and open your texts ig 😂
There are questions in your mind that you think would have been better had you asked them. Questions as to how he was unwilling to be in a relationship when it came to you but suddenly found himself being in a relationship a year later?
However, you decide that's something you'd rather not ask.
When you think of it, you indeed find it unfair and there's perhaps that hint of anger that bubbles in your stomach. But you recognise that there's no purpose in asking that question.
It's possible that his feelings for her run deeper than they ever did for you. Or it could be the fact that they work together and it's human that you'd grow close to someone who's there with you physically rather than someone whom you only talk to over the phone or via texts.
But figuring out the why is none of your business. Neither is it something you're concerned with. Whatever the reason might be, he's in a relationship and he has already made a choice. The why is irrelevant now.
Another reason, the why is irrelevant to you is because, you have never found yourself thinking along the lines of what you could have done differently for him to stay and choose you. You have never wondered if it was something you lacked. You'd never let yourself think that way for anyone. Once upon a time, you did. You were filled with insecurities and would question yourself anytime someone would hurt you or leave you. But you have overcome that and have learnt to love yourself. You'd never undo all that progress by entertaining those thoughts ever again. Even if it's Taehyung.
Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen letting you know Taehyung is typing. His text soon arrives making your breath hitch.
Tae 🐻: I have read your texts. Give me some time, and I'll reply to them.
So you'll have to wait.
It's fair you think, he can take the time he needs, to figure out what he has to say.
You only hope you can get over this soon.
—--------------------------------------------------------
It's been an entire day since Taehyung said he'd reply to your texts but unfortunately, he hasn't yet.
You know he will reply, you have that faith in him but you only wish he'd do it sooner. There's that lingering anxiety that comes with being unable to predict what he's going to say.
You have also been wondering if you have worded your words correctly. You found yourself worrying what if you came across as jealous and as someone who's unhappy for him? You really hope you didn't sound bitter because you aren't.
Yes, there's a part of you that is sad because the moments that you thought were special for the both of you, were all in your head. Because you loved him.
There's also this feeling that now you have been replaced. That now, things won't ever be the same. Perhaps, a part of you wishes you could stay in your head a little longer and pretend.
But all of that aside, you also have immense amounts of trust in the friendship you both share. Taehyung is someone who is incredibly kind and loving, and he's a great friend in general and you're sure that both of you would somehow manage to keep your friendship intact.
Penny: Has he replied yet?
You look down at the screen to find a text from your best friend.
You: no
You: not yet
Penny: huh told you
Penny: he's a dick
You smile and shake your head.
Knowing you have a long day ahead, you cook yourself a plate full of breakfast and get ready for work. In a way, you're glad that there's work to keep you busy. You do not know what you'd have done had it been a Sunday. You'd probably have been restless as fuck and would have been checking your phone every five minutes.
Thanks to your workload, you only get time to check your phone during lunch. However, the workload doesn't help with the disappointment you feel, when each time that you do check your phone and find that there's no new message from Taehyung. The disappointment only increases when you realise he has put a status about some funny fact regarding hyenas.
Whatever he sends you as a response to your texts, it better be good to have you kept waiting this long.
—--------------------------------------------------------
It's nine in the evening and you're at home when you finally receive Taehyung's text. Your anxiousness is overpowered by curiosity and impatience as you click on his message. It's a wordy and lengthy one.
Tae 🐻: I was confused, Y/N. Very confused. Although I had confessed my feelings to you, I was extremely confused and scared to take a step forward. When things with Kira ended, I was lonely and sad and my thoughts were very self-destructive. I had zero self-confidence. Talking to you, spending time with you, and texting you gave me the greatest joy and it acted as an escape from those thoughts, feelings and difficulties I was facing at the time. However, if you ask me now, where my feelings originated from, I wouldn't be able to tell. Were they genuine or a result of my love-starved state, I wouldn't be able to tell. But I'm glad it did as it helped me move on from the grief that accompanied my breakup. You have no idea how much you helped me at the time and I was selfish enough to take all of it, without thinking of the consequences, one of which was falling for you. This conversation we are having now is one which we should have had long ago. But I was scared that me not taking the step forward and telling you all this, would make you lose interest in me. Instead, I kept you hanging. I thank you for always being such an amazing friend. I have always loved you but I was too scared to put the tag of a relationship. I mistook my infatuation as readiness for being in a relationship. I'm guilty of all the things you mentioned but I don't know what to do to make things right, as I really don't want to lose the friendship we have. With all that I have done, you'd obviously think that I don't care about you, or at least not as much as you do, but trust me, I do. I have just been shit at expressing my gratitude and telling you how much you mean to me. I'll do better. I just hope you have it in your heart to forgive me for my mistakes. Thank you.
Something that you have been really hoping for, finally happens. You cry.
Fat, angry droplets of tears roll down your face and you close your eyes shut as the searing pain spreads in your chest.
Everything just feels so final and also so fruitless.
Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen and you realise that Taehyjng must have noticed that you have read his message.
Tae 🐻: say something
Tae 🐻: this is making me anxious 😅
Despite your blurry vision and him being the cause of your pain, you feel the need to put him at ease.
You: i appreciate you being honest with me
You: I'll reply properly in a while
You: just let me have a good cry first
The petty part of you wants him to know that you're crying, you want him to know how hurt you are.
Tae 🐻: Y/N?
Tae 🐻: are you okay?
You don't reply, not having it in yourself to lie.
You let your tears flow as you cry silently.
It's too much for you. You feel used. You feel like a rebound. You feel like a bridge he walked on to reach his destination and to move on from his past. Your heart feels walked all over. Your love feels irrelevant.
It's true that you wanted to make him feel good. You wanted him to move on from the hurt caused by Kira. You wanted him to feel good about himself. All because you loved him. But you never thought your love was so disposable to him. That it would only be the means for him to move on to someone else.
What's worse is, despite all of that you understand. You understand that it wasn't a conscious choice of his to hurt you. He, himself, wasn't aware that he was using your love to heal himself.
It's worse because a part of you feels bitter and angry. If you were the one who helped him get over his hurt, shouldn't he show at least a bit of loyalty to you? You feel angry because he didn't communicate, he left you in the dark and just assumed that you must have been detached enough from your feelings for you to not be bothered by his new relationship. But then a part of you understands that as well.
With Taehyung, it's a tug of war where you want to be mad at him and feel betrayed by him but no matter what, your love for him makes you see things from his point of view.
In a way, you find it surprising as well because you never realised just how deep your love runs. Seeing their side of things despite the hurt they have caused? Isn't that love at its purest? However, that makes you ache in pain as well. You loved him as your own. Only to realise that his love for you was merely an infatuation.
His love for you was shallow.
You think it would have been better if he were an asshole whom you could just hate. It would have been easier for you because you'd know he wasn't worth your time. But how do you handle all of this when he's one of your closest friends?
That's a question you'd probably need time to answer. You need time to let the stinging pain in your chest subside. You need time to let yourself process the silent heartbreak you're going through.
With shaky hands and blurry vision, you block Taehyung.
—--------------------------------------------------------
Last Friday of every month, all your colleagues go out to have dinner and drinks together. You enjoy accompanying them because honestly, it is nice and fun, almost like a little treat to yourself. However, this week, you're not really sure you'd like that. You don't have the energy to socialise.
One might argue that with recent events in mind, the best thing to do would probably be just that, to socialise, as it would take your mind off things that have been bugging you. But then you have always been the type who needs energy to socialise rather than the kind who energises themselves from socialising.
You have almost completed packing your bag when someone taps on your shoulders.
"You're coming with us today, right?" Shanaya queries, having a suspicious glint in her eyes as if she's already aware of your plans of not joining.
Shaking your head softly, you confirm her suspicions. However, Shanaya is having none of that.
"You have to come," she insists, sounding determined. "It's my birthday treat."
You're thoroughly surprised at the information. "It's your birthday today? Oh my god, I'm so sorry–"
"It's not today, it's tomorrow," she cuts you off. "But tomorrow is off so it's an early birthday treat."
She looks at you with such pleading eyes that you cannot bring yourself to say no to her. Reluctantly you smile and the next thing you know, you're being wrapped in a warm hug.
"Yay, thank you," she squeals, excited. "Now common, let's go."
As it turns out, today's destination is one stop away. Usually, you all go to someplace that's near and doesn't require transportation. However, Shanaya wanted to take all of you to a particular place that, according to her, serves the best dumplings and noodles. Who can say no to Shanaya, anyway?
As you sit there and wait with the others for the bus to arrive, you look at the screen with Taehyung's conversation open.
It's only yesterday that you unblocked him. You were well aware that you'd be unblocking him and talking to him again at some point. The friendship was too precious for you to let go. And it's not something you're saying simply because you love him. If you were to look back, Taehyung has never been a bad friend to you. He's been there for you whenever you needed. He has never let you down when it comes to friendship.
However, you doubt you're ready to talk to him just yet. That doesn't mean you don't want to.
There's just so much that you have to tell him. The little things that have occurred over the course of the two weeks that you had him blocked. Everything feels a little incomplete unless shared with him.
Your fingers hover over his profile picture and you hesitate to click on it. He has uploaded a new profile picture and you wonder if it is too weird to just stare at it.
"Y/N?"
The sound of your name startles you and while trying to hide your phone screen, you accidentally end up clicking on the small call button right next to the profile picture.
Shit. Shit. Shit.
You cut the call immediately and stare at the screen which now shows his name at the top of your call logs. He's gonna see a missed call from you, shit.
"The bus is here, Y/N."
Oh right, that must be why Mike had called for you. You quickly gather your thoughts and get on the bus, shying away from the worried look Shanaya throws your way.
When you get a seat on the bus, the first thing you do is shoot him a text. You indeed are not ready to talk to him but your accidental call has ruined your plans.
You: I'm so sorry
You: i called you by mistake
You know it will probably be a while until he sees your call and your text and it's a good thing that you have your co-workers to accompany you. That way you'd be distracted enough to not fret about it unnecessarily.
All of you get down when your stop arrives and make your way inside the small restaurant.
The chatter and the giggles and the latest gossip about your boss is enough for you to temporarily ignore the sinking sadness that sits at the pit of your stomach.
"Y/N, drinks?"
Your colleagues are well familiar with the answer to this question. You don't prefer drinking. The reason behind that, however, is not known to them.
Like the majority of people, you enjoy getting drunk and letting it loose. However, you're the kind of drunk who gets giggly and finds every little thing amusing. And for some reason, you feel comfortable to let that part of you out, only in the presence of a few people. Four, to be exact.
One, your best friend. Two, Min Yoongi. Three, Lee Sana. And four, Kim Taehyung.
Needless to say, you hardly ever get the chance to get drunk.
The usual answer rests on the tip of your tongue, but there's also this desperation for you to let go of the heaviness. You really could do with some giggles and amusement.
"I'd probably have some whiskey," you reply with a shy unsure smile as your colleagues cheer.
The night somehow refuses to come to an end as you all soon find yourselves seated on the floor of Kate's apartment, in a circle. It starts off with some dancing and then Nitesh takes up the guitar and starts singing. He's a good singer, you can appreciate that and everyone's having fun with big smiles on their faces as they clap along with the beats.
You have had three shots so far and for the love of god, you still feel that melancholy. It heightens when you realise you're sad in such a fun environment. Despite wanting to join them in their fun, your mind keeps wondering what it would be like if Taehyung were here. Gosh, it's been so long since the both of you have hung out and truthfully, it has never bothered you before. Whatever communication you two had was more than enough for you. Sharing the little details about your day, sending him silly stickers, all that held more meaning to you than he probably ever realised. That was much more intimate to you than anything physical.
You shake your head to yourself when you realise you're here being sad over a guy who wasn't even your boyfriend. It's so ridiculous.
But then again, despite the lack of a label, you were loyal to him with your entirety.
Geez, the alcohol seemingly has made you more sensitive.
"You sure are having fun," Shanaya comments. "I'm assuming the alcohol didn't help much?"
It doesn't take rocket science for someone to figure out that if a person who's never said yes to drinks before suddenly willingly says yes to them, there must be some pain they are trying to numb.
"Surprisingly, no."
She hums. "Wanna talk about it?"
Shanaya has asked this question to you multiple times over the span of the last few days. Never has it made you feel as if it's coming from a place where she is prying for details. It has only made you feel as if she's letting you know she's all ears, whenever you need her. Each time, you have shrugged as if it's not a big deal, as if it's not important enough for you to talk about. However, now, you really could do with a shoulder to cry on.
Hence, you vent and even amid all the noise and music, she intently listens to your words without interrupting even once.
When you finish, she releases a heavy sigh. "That's what you meant when you said it was complicated."
You chuckle at the reminder of the response you had given to your then-new co-workers, to being asked about your love life. You were so cautious of hurting Taehyung, having no idea that it was going to be him, hurting you.
"Do you plan on being friends with him?"
You don't miss the edge her tone has, as if she believes it's not worth it. Either that, or she thinks it's not possible to be friends with someone who's hurt you like that.
"I do," your reply is instantaneous.
"Don't you feel angry?"
"I do," of course you are angry. It would be absurd if you were not.
"Are you sure that is a good idea?"
You're not. You know the dynamic between you and Taehyung would never be the same again. Things would be different. You have now realised that things which meant a lot to you, perhaps never held the same meaning to him. The dynamic is bound to change. But is that good enough of a reason to cut your friendship off?
"He's only a human. People fall in love and sometimes, they fall out of love. I do not control the way he feels and when it comes to love, I don't think any of us have a control over who we fall for or when we fall," you release a sigh. Maybe it's all the more difficult for you because you still love him despite everything. "He's not in the wrong for falling for someone just because it's not me. I wish he would have not kept me in the dark but we all make mistakes, we all mess up."
"But more importantly, he's a friend first and he's always been an incredible friend to me. Now, I wouldn't be a good friend if I were to ever entertain the idea of making him choose between me and his happiness, would I?"
She remains quiet for a moment, observing you closely. "Do you mean all that you said?"
You nod.
She chuckles. "Well then, you have one of the purest hearts I have ever come across."
—--------------------------------------------------------
You were aware that there were unread texts from Taehyung but had refused to open them until morning. The night was exhausting and more than anything, you wanted to sleep. However, when morning came rolling, there was no avoiding opening his messages.
Tae 🐻: why are you suddenly being so formal? 😂
Tae 🐻: it's completely fine.
Relief courses through your veins at his casual tone. You don't know how you'd have responded had he mentioned you blocking him seemingly out of nowhere. However, there's a small part of you that remains curious if he had even realised you blocked him. Nevertheless, you'd much rather put all of that behind you and move forward.
You: i was randomly scrolling through my phone and the next thing i knew, my phone was calling you
Tae 🐻: lmao
Tae 🐻: blame it on the phone, yes
You smile. Going back to being friends might not be that difficult.
You two chat a bit and catch up with each other about things the both of you have been up to recently. You lose track of time as you make yourself a cup of tea, refusing to let your phone down, feeling excited at the thought of telling him about the things you have been up to.
Tae 🐻: well i have something to tell you
You: uh oh
You: go on
Tae 🐻: so last day me and Bridget went on a date
Tae 🐻: and things got steamy 👉👈
Tae 🐻: if you know what i mean
You very well know what he means.
Your stomach sinks in disappointment.
It's not because you're jealous or that the thought of Taehyung with someone else makes you feel disheartened, you have moved past that. Rather, you feel disappointed that he thought it was something appropriate to mention to you.
Had it been anyone else in some other scenario, you'd have had no issue. Friends, close ones especially, tend to discuss these sorts of things, don't they? However, this is Taehyung and keeping the recent events in mind, he should not have mentioned it to you at all. Especially not when, his new relationship had made you feel as if he didn't bother to think of you, once.
He keeps on going about how it was one of the best nights of his life but you don't find it in yourself to play pretend and entertain him. Although you don't directly ask him to stop, you don't reply to his texts either.
Tae 🐻: Y/N?
The screen reads when he's done and probably upon the realisation that you haven't said anything for a long time.
You: nice
Oh, how you wish technology was advanced enough for the text to be read aloud on his phone in a sarcastic tone.
You: let me tell you about yesterday
You: we went back to Kate's place
You: and i got drunk simply because i was feeling low and sad and depressed and was looking for an escape
You: but that didn't help, only enhanced what i was already feeling
You could have probably avoided saying this but then you wanted to say it. You don't know if he'll put two and two together but it's your own way of telling him that things are still sensitive.
Tae 🐻: you sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken 😂
A loud laugh escapes your lips. Gosh, is this the guy you have been crying over for weeks?
Wow.
—--------------------------------------------------------
Taehyung has let you down, as a friend. More than once.
A few days back, he'd asked if he could send you a poem that he'd written. You had always known he liked writing stuff and hadn't thought much of it. However, upon asking what it was about, he had replied 'newfound love'. Your reply to which had been, 'In that case, I'm not interested'.
You didn't care how that sounded, you were not gonna put up with this bullshit just because it would be impolite.
With each passing day and with each small incident where you feel as if your feelings are totally disregarded, your disappointment keeps growing. You really had not expected this kind of behaviour from Taehyung.
One of the main reasons you had fallen for him was the way he seemed so emotionally wise. He was aware and attentive towards the people around him and was always kind. His recent attitude contradicts all of that.
There is a part of you that also recognises how his recent behaviour has made you detached. You could not say that the Taehyung you fell in love with and the Taehyung now, are the same. In a very twisted way, it made accepting the fact that there's nothing between the two of you, except friendship much easier.
Tae 🐻: Y/N
Tae 🐻: I messed up.
The text comes at around one in the morning. The only reason you're awake is the report that's due in two days. But the incoming text puts your fingers to a pause as worry clouds your senses.
Is he okay?
You: what happened?
Tae 🐻: i messed up
Tae 🐻: i feel so embarrassed
You: can you stop being vague?
Tae 🐻: i sent a vm to Bridget of me singing TS
You couldn't help rolling your eyes when you read the words. Huh, you should have seen it coming.
Unlike other times, for some odd reason, you find yourself leaning towards the idea of entertaining him. Perhaps it's because you haven't had a proper conversation with him for a long time. And also perhaps, because you know this won't go on for long.
You: so?
Tae 🐻: she is a huge TS fan
Tae 🐻: she asked me to sing one of her favourite songs
Tae 🐻: and i cannot ever bring myself to say no to her
Tae 🐻: but like now that i listen back to the audio i sound terrible and i maybe did a British accent while singing
Understandably, you can see where he's coming from. The nervousness that comes with making a gesture for someone you adore and then feeling embarrassed about it, worrying whether they found it romantic or did you make a fool of yourself. And less than one month of being in a relationship is not enough to quieten the nervous jitters.
So, you tell him what you would have, had it been any other friend. Upon further chatting you realise he genuinely feels like crawling inside a hole and never coming out. It doesn't surprise you, Taehyung has always been like that, going for the big gestures and self-doubt creeping in later.
You let yourself enjoy the normalcy and pretend that Taehyung is just another friend of yours and that he isn't someone who broke your heart.
—--------------------------------------------------------
Your phone has been buzzing and pinging since morning. Midnight to be specific. Birthday wishes have been flowing in with notes and gifs and with each message you feel more appreciated than you feel the rest three sixty-four days of the year.
However, with each notification sound, there has also been that hope and expectation that maybe this one would be from Taehyung.
He had texted you a few days back reminding you of your upcoming birthday and although it's afternoon already, you don't really believe that he has forgotten the day altogether.
When evening rolls around, you start growing sceptic. You squirm in your sofa, finally acknowledging that it's very well a possibility that your birthday might have slipped his mind. It makes you go back to the long, seven-hundred-word, letter he had written for your birthday, last year.
The words make you smile.
Do you know how amazing you are? I don't think you do and it will be my job to make you see that.
Sometimes, I think I don't deserve you with how kind and loving you are but I'm so incredibly grateful for you that no amount of words would ever be enough.
I have never met someone like you, ever.
Only a few lines from the massive paragraph that his greeting text was and the corner of your lips lift up. However, the moment is broken when you realise you're smiling.
You shake your head as sadness fills you. You cannot let yourself recall old memories and feel the way they used to make you. It's not an option anymore.
Locking your screen, you sigh. You won't lie, you had really wanted a text from him. Anything that would show you that he still cares for you and the friendship between the both of you still held a chance. It's no wonder that you have been seeking some sort of reassurance after everything that he has done.
It's around eleven at night that Taehyung's name first appears on your notification bar. You grin wide and open your text, glad to have been proven wrong and feeling stupid to have considered the idea of him forgetting your birthday.
A link to a YouTube video.
Your grin disappears just as quickly and disappointment like nothing you have ever felt before, makes its way to your heart.
You leave him on seen.
A day passes and you wonder if he will send at least a belated wish, apologising for not wishing you any sooner. But nope
It's the day after that, the second day past your birthday when you check for any messages from him and you are led to his stories. It's slides of pictures of him and Bridget and the caption is him singing praises of her and telling the world how much in love he is because it's her birthday.
That's your last straw.
It's probably a very small issue, forgetting birthdays and all. But to you, it's not. It just adds up to the pile of things that have made you feel like you were the only one who was taking into consideration the friendship that was at stake.
Plus, it cannot be that difficult to remember your birthday when his girlfriend's birthday is literally two days after yours.
You have had enough. You need to walk out of Taehyung's life.
Considering all that had made you fall for Taehyung, it's incredibly hard for you to believe that he doesn't know what he is doing and that he has forgotten basic decency. The option that was left with you, didn't make sense to you either because it implied he let you down intentionally. But the Taehyung you knew would never hurt a fly.
It made you wonder if it was simply a result of his honeymoon phase that he had forgotten to consider how his actions could hurt people. Maybe he was too elated to think things through. The empathetic part of you understood. But then you shook that away, knowing very well that if you were in his position, irrespective of how happy and high you were, you would never do that.
Maybe you had realised that this was coming from the very day, he hadn't thought twice before mentioning his intimate moments with Bridget. But, boy oh boy, had you hoped to be wrong.
You had given him opportunities to prove you wrong, to give you a reason to stay but he only kept giving you reasons as to why you should leave.
It's an odd sensation that washes over you when you come to the conclusion that this isn't worth it anymore.
You feel sad that the friendship is coming to an end. You're sure you'd miss his company and that there would be days when you mourn the friendship that once used to be. You know there would be times when you'd resent him and there would also be times when you'd feel angry at yourself for giving so much of you to him.
But you won't ever regret your choice of leaving him.
One thing this whole ordeal with Taehyung has made you realise is how deeply you love. How even in the midst of hurt, you were happy for him and how you saw and loved him for what he was and not for what he could be or for what he offered you. It made you take pride in the way you love. You gave him the purest form of love.
A life where you and Taehyung are not friends, won't be your loss. It would be his. Irrespective of whether he realises that or not.
You feel oddly poweful with the knowledge that there was nothing lacking in your love and you'd never dishonour your love by staying where it isn't valued, appreciated and seen.
But you also have a lot to say to him. You are not going to just block him and let him wonder why you did that. No, you'd tell him exactly why you left.
—--------------------------------------------------------
It took you a couple of days to get down everything you wanted to say. There were times when you felt conscious of the ever-growing length of your letter and you had to shake off that feeling because this was going to be the last interaction between the both of you. Why stop yourself from saying everything you want to just because you're worried it'll be lengthy?
You read the words one last time, wanting to make sure that you feel satisfied.
Hello Taehyung,
I hope you're doing fine. I wouldn't know how you're doing because we haven't had a proper conversation in quite some time. Or at least that is how it has felt to me. Nevertheless, I'm writing this because there's loads that I need to get off my chest. So, here we go.
When I saw you for the first time and we talked, I could feel you carried a lot of pressure on your shoulders. Almost like, you had something to prove, like you wanted to show that you weren't what you were perceived to be. Or maybe you wanted to prove that you were more than just what meets the eye. I didn't know what in particular. It felt like you wanted to be seen.
And would you believe, I grew a soft spot for you? Do you know why? Because somewhere, I felt the same way too.
I also knew we would be great friends, lol. You know how? Because I knew you had a heart of gold. You cared for others, you were thoughtful and kind. However, I could feel that you have a habit of being harsh on yourself and it didn't sit well with me. From the very first time we talked, I wanted to be a good friend to you, someone you could rely on, someone you could trust and someone who could possibly make you be a little less harsh on yourself.
Perhaps with the weak spot, I also grew protective of you.
You were desperate for love and at the same time felt unworthy of it. I didn't know why though. I didn't know what had you believing so lowly about yourself. But then you told me about Kira, and it all made sense.
It made sense why you felt unworthy and why you felt the need to prove that you were more than what others saw. Because, you believed Kira's words. You really thought you were unlovable.
Instead of feeling the satisfaction of being proved right, I felt so angry at Kira. I may have clawed her eyes out in my mind more than once.
After learning the scars that she left on you, it only made me wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wished you could see that there was nothing you had to do to be loved except for just being you.
You may wonder why I'm suddenly saying all this. Well, let's just say it's necessary.
When you told me you were falling for me, I was surprised but then I felt myself feeling so warm at the thought of you liking me. It took me a few minutes to realise that I was falling for you too.
But that was it.
We never put a label on what we were and I was okay with it. Because I was okay with what we had, I never asked for anything because you were happy. You were also such a great friend, someone who I could talk to anything and everything about. What more could I ask for?
What's more? I could tell you were slowly coming out of whatever shell you were put in by Kira. I can't quite explain how it made me feel to see you smile more freely, to see you be more confident and be sure of yourself. But to put it lightly, it made me feel damn good lol.
I knew I had some part to play in it. I just didn't know that was the only part you wanted me to play.
I moved past all that, trust me. You using my love as a rebound, making a girlfriend without even letting me know once, I moved past all that. Because, I trusted you when you told me you were confused and confusion is never intentional, is it?
It hurt like a bitch to think that was all my love meant to you. But it was okay, you didn't mean to hurt me. You cared about me. You cared about our friendship. You valued it.
Or so you said.
I don't know if you meant it when you said it. But in case you did mean it, here are a few things not to do to the girl you used as a rebound and intend to keep the friendship with.
First, do not mention that you had sex with your new girlfriend.
Second, do not be dumb enough to say "You sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken" when you are the guy who's caused the damage.
Third, do not send her the song you sang for your girlfriend and seek comfort to soothe the embarrassment you feel.
Fourth, do not ask her to read the poems you wrote for your girlfriend.
Fifth, do not forget her birthday when your girlfriend's is just two days later.
These things didn't hurt me as much as it disappointed me. Would you believe, I laughed when you called me a typical heartbroken guy? When I got drunk the day before, my head was filled with thoughts of you and my heart was heavy with the knowledge that I was only a rebound. That day, even in the midst of alcohol, I chose our friendship over everything. I chose to forgive you. I chose to love you, still. But when you mentioned what you did, I just found it so funny to think that this was the guy I was thinking so much about and was so sad about.
As it turns out, I'm not much fond of thoughtless people.
But still, I hoped that somehow you'd give me a reason to stay. All you did, however, was turn a blind eye to my feelings and disrespected me.
If you were to ask me, whether my love for you is romantic or platonic, I wouldn't be able to tell. I have never sat and thought about it. All I know is I loved you, in one of the most unselfish ways possible.
But that's not to say I don't realise how I deserve to be treated. And that's not to say that I'd stay somewhere where I'm an afterthought.
When I said, I was happy for you and Bridget I really meant it and I hope you don't think that your relationship ever had a role to play in this decision of mine. It didn't, it was solely you that made me choose this option.
But this friendship of ours has run its course.
I would never disrespect myself by putting up with your disrespect. I loved you as long as you were worth it. But the moment you took my love for granted was the very moment you lost my respect and love, both.
If you have made it to the end, then congrats! I didn't know if you'd read the whole thing but truth be told I don't particularly care about you reading it either. I wrote this for myself, not for you.
Before I finish this long-ass letter, let me tell you something; you have lost one of the best people you'd ever meet in this lifetime.
Thank you,
With Love,
The purest form.
Jeon Jungkook
His words echo in your mind and after an elongated pause, you find it in yourself to respond. “What do you mean?”
Jungkook gulps, hating how controlled your facial expressions are. In the months of knowing you, he has never seen you try this hard to hide your emotions. “Me and Niki are not actually a couple.”
“Thank you for rephrasing the sentence but I am afraid that it does not make things any clearer for me.”
Jungkook takes a sharp inhale and meets your eyes with uncertainty. “It’s just a PR stunt.”
It takes a few moments for the words to register but when they do, things start making sense, almost like puzzle pieces falling in place.
Namjoon’s hesitance in answering your question about the truth of their relationship. His lack of shock to the words you had heard Niki speak and most importantly, why Niki might have said those words. The whole relationship is not real to begin with.
“But, why?” The words leave your lips without your permission, before you’re able to catch them.
For a moment, he hesitates, wondering if it’s his place to say a few of the things he will have to, to make things clear. But then he shakes off the worry, knowing Niki won’t mind.
“Both of our fandom, for some reason, ship us together. You know the whole ‘both are maknaes’ thing. Nevertheless, both of our companies thought it would be mutually beneficial for the two of us to put up this false act that we are dating.”
“How is it supposed to be mutually beneficial?” It doesn’t make sense to you. One of the oddest and most toxic traits of the kpop industry is how idols are expected to be loyal to their fans by remaining single. How then, a public relationship is supposed to garner anything except for unnecessary attention and hate?
“Niki is well, dating a youtuber. A female youtuber and pictures of them hanging out together didn’t take long to make it to the internet. Although at the beginning, everyone thought they were just good friends, soon there were questions as to whether it was just a simple friendship and well, people were not really happy with that idea,” he sighs, feeling tired just from thinking about everything that had led to this whole ordeal. “It wasn’t only about Niki dating a girl, it was also about her dating someone that wasn’t me. And of course, it was her girlfriend’s fault for coming between two people who are 'meant to be'. All of which ultimately made it incredibly difficult for the two of them to be at peace.”
You can imagine. The thought makes you sympathise with both of them. From Jungkook's words, it's clear the target was Niki’s girlfriend but you are sure it couldn’t have been easy for Niki to watch someone she loves hurt like that.
You understand Niki’s part of the deal. Putting up this font, would stop the threats and hate aimed at them but what was Jungkook supposed to get from this?
Jungkook looks at you and nods, acknowledging the unasked question. "When the offer first came, our company had turned it down, not seeing how it could benefit me. But I was the one who insisted and agreed."
"Why?"
His discomfort grows and he swallows nervously, trying to gather his thoughts. "People are obsessed with me and Niki to the point where it's very predictable that they would hate it if someday I were to date someone who isn't her. I thought it would be good if we did this thing and people believed that we gave it a shot but it didn't work out. That way it would be one less thing I'd have to worry about while dating someone."
You put the thought behind of how it seems incredibly far-fetched and nod. He has answered your question about the nature of their relationship and why it was necessary. However, you still have a bunch of questions about a lot of things–starting with how crushed you felt when he moved you as Namjoon's make-up artist out of nowhere–but you do not wish to let them see the light of the day.
Turning away, you start shuffling with some of the make-up products, indicating that the conversation is done.
"Please say something," Jungkook pleads, tormented by your silence.
"There's nothing more to say," you mutter, keeping away any emotion from being shown.
"That can't be true."
You hate how sure he sounds. As if he is aware of every thought that's running in your head. As if he knows you a little too well. You absolutely despise how you might have believed the notion, once. Now, however, you do not want to. Because that'd mean he knew exactly how much hurt, his ignorance and pretence as if you don't even exist, caused you.
"Y/N, please. We haven't talked for a long time. Please don't shut me out."
Technically, you have two options. One, to keep ignoring him. Two, to snap at him and let every bit of your anger out. You had initially planned on sticking to option number one as it would make you look just as indifferent as Jungkook. However, now you find the option of letting words out without a filter, very appealing.
"I know, I messed up but just talk to me–" the sound of a shaky exhale meets your ears, "–I miss spending time with you."
Well, that's some audacity.
In the blink of an eye, you're facing Jungkook and taking several steps in his direction. You stop only a few steps away from him but you're close enough for him to notice the agony and pure rage storming through your eyes.
"You better shut your mouth, Jeon."
Jungkook flinches at your warning tone. However, he refuses to take the hint. "Y/N, ignoring me isn't going to solve–"
"Trust me, I'm not trying to solve anything," you speak through gritted teeth. "I'm just doing what I think is the right thing to do after someone disrespects you immensely."
"I wasn't trying to disrespect you," he claims, desperately trying to make you believe in something you don't buy for even a second.
"Yeah, ghosting me out of nowhere is not disrespecting me at all," your voice drops with sarcasm
He feels his heart drop when you use the word 'ghosting'. Did you think that's what he did? Is that what it looked like? Gosh, this has all gotten messed up and he's the one to be blamed.
"I didn't ghost you," he mumbles, unable to look into your eyes and the sight of it causes all the pain that you had buried, to come to the surface.
"Then please explain what it was," you voice waivers and you immediately hate yourself for showing weakness. "Please tell me what you thought you were doing by replacing me without even showing the basic decency to inform me that, yourself?"
He gulps, wondering if you'd even believe what he has to say. Even if you do, would you be willing to look past his stupidity?
"I found your note in my bag", you visibly flinch at the mention of the note. You had intentionally kept from mentioning your little confession, praying to whatever god is out there that somehow the note had been damaged before it reached the hands of the person they were meant to find.
Jungkook notices your change of expression as it turns from hurt to embarrassed to anger and he despises himself for making you feel like that. "I had to make a quick decision and I didn't think you'd like to be my make up artist while I was fake dating Niki, especially without you having any knowledge about the fake part."
You stare at him blankly and try to process what he was saying. Did he–did he think he was doing you a favour by cutting you off?
You scoff, turn around and start packing your things with the intention of leaving the room. You're so done with this conversation.
When Jungkook understands your intention, he's quick on his feet and rushes to be right next to you. "Just give me the chance to explain myself fully."
You don't reply, your insides fuming.
"Y/N please," he begs. "Just hear me out once. Then I'll accept whatever it is that you decide for the both of us."
"I'm not gonna stand here and hear you speak utter bullshit that does nothing but let me down further."
Your voice comes with such a sense of finality that Jungkook knows, no matter how much he begs and pleads, you won't be giving him the opportunity to speak his side of things.
Hence, he doesn't stop you when you walk past him and leave the room. But it only makes him more desperate for the day when you finally find it in your heart to give him a chance. Just one.
—-----------------------------------------------------
Jungkook has been persistent. Perhaps a little too persistent with his attempts to earn your forgiveness. Or at least that's what you assume the bouquets of flowers and little notes you find everyday at work are for.
It's not only the flowers, it's also his constant texting and voicemails. His texts vary from a simple 'hi, what are you doing' to 'please, i miss you' and his voicemails have been a mix of him telling you about his day (something he used to do regularly when you were his makeup artist) to a more emotional version of his texts begging you to talk to him.
You won't lie, his incessant pleadings have made you curious what more could he possibly have to say. What could be so different from what he has already said that he is so desperate?
On one hand, you find an odd sense of satisfaction from not responding to Jungkook despite all his efforts. You don't know what that makes you but after the hurt and embarrassment you felt to the point where you had to numb yourself to block those emotions out, his tries and attempts feel like an ointment to your wounds. On the other hand, however, is a voice nagging you as to how, this cannot go on for long. The huge bouquets that wait for you everyday are soon going to catch attention and if anyone were to catch a hint of who it is from…gosh, you don't want to imagine that.
But when you will find it in yourself to have a conversation with him, still remains unknown. All you know is whenever that will be, it will be solely because you don't want word to go out. Yes, that's all it will be.
Today when you walk into Namjoon's dressing room, there's another bouquet waiting for you. The sight of it causes you to sigh. You don't know what Namjoon thinks of this but you're thankful that he hasn't mentioned it yet. That however, made it quite clear that he has some idea as to who they are from.
You let the flowers be where they are. You have never really taken them home or put them in water, afraid that it would be interpreted as you being accepting of his efforts, when you're far from it. You're still hurt and angry.
If anything, sometimes you despise walking into a room full of flowers as they serve as a reminder of the thoughts you had before confessing to him. You remember thinking how confessing felt like putting a delicate unbloomed flower in someone's hand and whether the bud gets to bloom or not, depends on the person you're confessing to.
If only you had known of the thorns you would be exposed to, back then, you'd never have confessed.
The door swings open softly and Namjoon walks in. "Good morning, Y/N."
"Good morning," you greet him back with a smile.
"So what's on card for today?" He asks before taking his usual seat.
"There's nothing much for today, just rehearsals and then you have a v-live," you mumble. "But firstly I need to do your weekly facial."
He huffs. "Is it the one that requires you putting a lot of slimy stuff on my face and it stays on for like thirty minutes?"
"Yep," you reply with a light laugh. Despite what he says, you have learnt that Namjoon quite enjoys his facial sessions. Unlike a certain someone.
Your smile falters and your sudden change of mood doesn't go unnoticed by Namjoon.
"Have you considered speaking to Jungkook?" He asks after a brief moment of silence.
You're taken aback by his words. Namjoon has always avoided speaking on the matter. He has never even queried as to what you do with the flowers. Hence, his direct way of questioning has you fumbling with words.
"I d–haven't," you change your wording, fearing 'I don't want to', might just be a little too rude.
However, your choice of answer is put to vain with the very next question he asks. "Do you want to?"
"I don't want to," you softly shake your head, mildly afraid how Namjoon will interpret it.
He simply nods, without any trace of judgement. "I'm not saying this because I'm picking sides, but I have known Jungkook since he was a kid and I can tell that he really is sorry.
"Whether to forgive him or not, is completely on you. But put a little trust on him that he must have some reason behind doing what he did. Just hear him out once."
You keep quiet, unsure what to say. Thankfully, Namjoon understands that and soon changes the topic of conversation to something more light-hearted.
Hours later, when everything comes to a close and it's time for you to leave, you find yourself hesitating. Namjoon's words simply refuse to leave your mind. Put a little trust in him. How can you, when he's let you down in every way possible? When he has betrayed your trust in ways that still keep hurting you?
You gulp when you realise there's probably no end to the hurting until you have a chat with Jungkook and hear his side. At least, that way you will know his reasoning behind everything and it will hopefully stop your self loathing for putting the note in his bag. Even if all he gives is excuses, you'd at least have the satisfaction of having heard him out. Later maybe a week, or a month from now, when your emotions subside, you wouldn't have this unscratched itch of not knowing what he had to say.
Maybe, maybe it's for the best that you talk to him.
—-----------------------------------------------------
"Come in," Jungkook calls out in response to the knock at his door and is visibly surprised when you walk in. He quickly gets up from his seat, stuffs his phone in his pocket and with a nervous voice asks, "would you like some coffee?"
You shake your head. You're not here for coffee. "No, thank you. I'm here to talk to you."
He nods as his nervousness spikes. This is what he has wanted and hoped for so long, but now that you're here, he doubts you will believe him. What if you don't? Even worse, what if you do and still don't forgive him?
The both of you get seated and your fingers anxiously play with the strap of your handbag. "What is it that you have been wanting to tell me?"
Jungkook sighs. Pushing the nervousness away, he knows that the only thing in his power is to tell you his side of things. Otherwise, he's powerless.
"For the things I said last day, to make sense, I would have to mention that I like you," he cannot find it in himself to look at you as he says that. "I've liked you for a long time."
The words take you by surprise, and your mouth parts in shock. The shock then morphs into disbelief and denial. He did not just confess to liking you.
"But it's never that simple when you're a famous K-pop idol," something bitter coats his words and he looks defeated. "The consequences of dating me, is something that one doesn't realise until they face it for themselves."
Jungkook has grown a thick skin. But you? He doesn't want you to be someone who ever has to go through things that require you to build a thick skin. He doubts he will ever forgive himself if he were to see you beaten up by harsh words and constant criticism, all because of your association to him.
"I wanted to tell you how I felt but just the sheer terror of what you may have to go through, kept me from doing so," an unwanted shiver runs through his body when he recalls the moments where the fluttering in his chest would always be accompanied by a heavy sinking in his stomach. "It wasn't my choice to stress about these things but I couldn't help myself considering that associating with me had consequences."
Your face falls with each word that leaves his lips.
"It was choosing between giving into my feelings and listening to logic. I tried to be logical and practical for as long as I could. Until, I just couldn't," a humourless chuckle escapes his lips. "I remember thinking that I just need to tell you how you make me feel."
He doesn't voice how there was a part of him that had wished you'd not reciprocate his feelings. That way, even after his sheer selfishness, things would be fine.
"It was around the time I decided on confessing to you, that I learnt about the proposition from Niki's agency. Call me incredibly stupid but I thought if I did this, I'd at least do something instead of sitting and dreading with my hands tied." Jungkook shakes his head, finding it cruel that even after all this, he somehow managed to mess everything up.
Your mouth parts unknowingly when the pieces click. Jungkook's decision to date Niki for the cameras, didn't come out of nowhere and it wasn't as far-fetched as you thought. His decision had come from a place of anxiety where he felt powerless.
"But then I found that note," he cannot help but recall that day fondly. He felt like a kid and often found himself smiling, looking into the mirror. However, that joy was soon wiped off when the situation sank in. "I was so excited and happy, but then I realised that I had already agreed to date Niki."
You hardly blink as Jungkook speaks and due to that, you don't miss the way a smile appears on his lips. But it's gone as soon as it appears, as if he catches himself slipping and reprimands himself for it. It makes you consider the possibility if he was receptive to your confession in a positive way.
"I didn't know what to do, I couldn't imagine letting you know that I felt the same but then going out and holding another woman's hand. Even if it's for the cameras, it's–," he closes his eyes shut as if pained, "–it's horrible."
"I couldn't do that but I also needed to make a quick decision. I thought the only way to go about things was to postpone answering your confession. After the announcement of the breakup with Niki, I thought I could talk to you then and clear things out. At that moment, that was the only option that made sense to me."
His words take you back to the day when you were filled with nervous excitement only for it to be replaced with dread and heartbreak when you learnt that Jungkook had replaced you as his makeup artist, just like that.
"It was stupid, I know," he mutters in a small voice. "I don't have anything to say in my defence except for admitting that I messed things up and I didn't realise what it must have looked like to you, until it was too late."
He paused for a few moments, looking exhausted. "I-I am sorry for everything. I know it's hard to believe but hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. I really just wanted to make things right. If you can, please, forgive me."
You sense that to be the end of everything Jungkook had to say. The way he looks at the floor and refuses to look at you, makes you want to comfort him. But your feelings are too muddled, you're too confused and there's a lot that you have learnt that has left you surprised. You don't think you're in the state of mind to make decisions now.
"Thank you for telling me everything," you keep your voice soft. It gives Jungkook the courage to finally look up at you and his breath hitches when he realises you aren't looking at him with your gaze filled with hate and pain. It gives him hope. "But I need some time to process everything."
Jungkook nods, knowing that's the best he can ask for at the moment. He's relieved that you aren't dismissing his words and feels incredibly grateful that you are taking time to think things through. He knows that you taking time is more for yourself than for him, but there's a hint of a promise that this is not the end of the conversation, that you'll talk to him again. And that's more than anything Jungkook can ever ask for.
—-----------------------------------------------------
The last few days, your mind has been completely occupied with Jungkook's words. Not only his words but also the way he looked refuses to leave your mind. You couldn't find it in yourself to doubt his genuineness and the fact that he was feeling terrible, was displayed in green neon lights.
You had to remind yourself repeatedly that it isn't only about how he feels. You should cater to your feelings and figure out what to do next.
There was also the new revelation that Jungkook liked you. Quite honestly, you didn't know what to do with that information. The whole conversation was melancholic and it must have rubbed off on you for you didn't feel the joy one usually does on learning that their crush likes them back.
Everything was quite confusing. So much so, that it had taken an entirety of five days for you to sort out your thoughts and approach Jungkook.
He sits across from you in a pale blue shirt and black trousers, his body language screams that he's nervous and oddly enough it comforts you to know that you aren't the only one feeling that way.
"After learning everything, I couldn't help but wish you had communicated before. It would have saved the both of us a lot of hurt," you begin with a sombre tone, feeling your heart hurt at the constant overthinking you have had to go through. "Things might have been simpler that way."
"I know," Jungkook nods, not having a single word to defend himself with.
You look at him a moment longer wondering if he would try providing you with a reason for his lack of communication. When he doesn't, you're confused how you're supposed to perceive it.
On one hand, you'd have liked for him to actually have a proper reason. On the other, you're sure Jungkook is aware of his mistakes and his lack of response somehow gives the impression that he's owning up to everything without making excuses.
"But what's done is done and there's no changing it," you continue after a small sigh. "It's for the best that we move on from it."
Jungkook's heart shrinks. By moving on do you mean just never acknowledging the feelings you both share for each other? That's exactly what comes to his mind because you feeling the same way you did, despite the hurt he has caused you, sounds too good to be true. He cannot be shameless either to ask you about it directly. He will take whatever you will give him.
Instead, he asks a question which he knows would eat him alive if he doesn't voice it. "Can you forgive me?"
"I wouldn't have asked for the both of us to move on, if I hadn't already," and then you do something that makes Jungkook feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off from his chest. You smile at him.
Forgiving Jungkook wasn't easy. You wanted to hold on to the anger because your pride was hurt and most importantly, you were scared of getting hurt again. But then you also had to think through things logically.
Jungkook has never had it easy with fame. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the way he has always been under scrutiny and his sudden loss of control over his own life. With time, he learnt that it was for the best to not pay attention to the people who weren't even familiar with him.
He could overlook and turn deaf to the hate that's thrown his way. However, his loved ones being targeted is something that fills him with guilt to an inexplicable amount. You have seen it yourself.
The incident isn't that old. A year back, Jungkook had gone out with a bunch of his childhood friends. He was pictured closing the car door for one of them, who so happened to be a girl. That one single shot was enough for the media and internet to decide there must be something more than platonic going between the two.
You remember the way Jungkook was so troubled and absolutely heartbroken with the hate and threats that were aimed at his friend, for something so simple and it was visible to everyone that he blamed himself for it.
You cannot imagine what kind of stones would be thrown at you if word got out. The information that you're his makeup artist would be a cherry on top. Gold digger, witch, slut, whore; some of the less colourful terms.
Seeing the way Jungkook suffered, it made sense why he would be so scared to be open about his feelings. You could imagine yourself feeling the same way had it been you being in his place. Seeing someone you care for, getting hate that they absolutely don't deserve, is painful enough for one to believe that it's for the best to keep distance.
You also imagined what you would have felt had Jungkook admitted his feelings and had told you about the fake dating. Yes, you'd have the knowledge that there was nothing real between him and Niki. However, you'd also have to see them all over the internet and watch people go on and on about how perfect they are. You'd be aware that Jungkook likes you, but you'd also be bitter about how the beginning of your relationship is marked with him publicly dating someone else. It's not exactly a nice feeling.
One could argue that the way events have turned out, they aren't perfect either. But there's nothing going on between Jungkook and you. At least, not yet.
That's one thing that you both need to talk about and you really want to clear out everything, at once. Who knows what miscommunication would occur if things were left unsaid, again?
"I would never intentionally hurt you, Y/N,"Jungkook squirms a little in his seat, ignoring the absence of the weight that has been eating him alive for days. He thinks you're going easy on him and he thinks he doesn't deserve it.
"I am choosing to trust your words," you reply, having a sense of the turmoil Jungkook seems to be going through. The fact that he is always hard on himself is not unknown to you. "All I ask from you is to not break my trust. And for you to accept that you do not have to burden yourself with responsibilities."
Jungkook knows it's hard for him to not feel like there's always a bunch of responsibilities on his shoulder. Especially when one moment of misjudgement can cause irreversible damage. Despite that, he feels a sense of warmth spread throughout his body at your words.
"I'll try."
You shoot Jungkook another smile; the second one this evening and he can't help but think that you should really stop giving him hope.
"There's one more thing that we need to talk about," your cheeks turn red and much like Jungkook earlier, it's your turn to squirm in your seat. "You said something about liking me."
You feel awkward at the choice of your words but then you aren't brave enough to start by mentioning your note of confession.
Jungkook's eyes turn as wide as saucers and his whole face flushes to match the shade of your cheeks. He really wasn't expecting for you to bring it up. "Umm yeah," he nods.
You feel a spark of impatience and annoyance at his short response. You took it upon yourself to bring the topic to the table and he cannot just spill everything, already? Why make it more difficult for you?
"Yeah…..so?" You look at him with your brows raised, trying your best to ignore the way you feel like a three year old shy girl, on the inside.
"I–I do like you," he stutters and looks away, for the umpteenth time, unable to meet your eyes.
Your heart takes a fucking long jump. Who would have thought Jeon Jungkook would be so shy about admitting his feelings?
"What should we do about it?" You intentionally use the 'we' for Jungkook to catch the hint that you want to do something about it.
But of course, he doesn't.
He speaks sullenly, "I have lost the right to have a say in the matter."
"I want you to have a say in the matter. Tell me, Jungkook, what do you want?" You refuse to let go of the conversation and for Jungkook to let his guilt swallow him. He messed up, there's no denying that. But you could always acknowledge the fact that his heart was in the right place.
Feelings of frustration makes his throat clogged up . "I just want to go back and redo things in a different way."
"That's not possible. What do you want to do now?"
He knows what he wants but voicing it, feels being ungrateful towards your forgiveness. It feels like he's being greedy. "What I do want, feels like too much to ask for."
"You'll never know until you ask for it."
He sighs and reminds himself that you're asking him about the romantic feelings he has admitted to harbouring towards you. He reminds himself to not be selfish and make it about his guilt. If you want to know, he will tell you and he will be honest about it.
"I want to be with you," his admission is made in a small voice but it doesn't hide the clarity his words have.
Your breath hitches and you feel the soft pitter patter of your heart that you had missed when he admitted his feelings for you the first time around.
"When does this fake relationship of yours end?"
"A month from now."
You nod. "A month from now, take me out on a date and we will see."
Jungkook's eyes snap to yours, not having expected you to speak those words. You shoot him a small smile before getting up and leaving the room.
—-----------------------------------------------------
SIX MONTHS LATER
"I swear to god, if you don't stay still, I'll intentionally ruin your makeup."
Your threatening low tone goes in through one ear and comes out of the other. "You could never do that."
"Don't test my limits."
A pout makes its appearance. "But that's my favourite thing to do."
You sigh in both astonishment and in love.
How do you manage to repeat the same routine with the same man everyday and never get tired of it? Maybe it has everything to do with the way your heart keeps stuttering around this man.
No, the man sitting in front of you, is not the global superstar Jeon Jungkook.
The man sitting in front of you is your boyfriend, Jungkook.
The official tag on your relationship was put four months ago, after a month of going out on dates. When you say going out, you mean staying in the hybe building and arranging dates in as innovative a way as one can.
The month in which Jungkook had to pretend to be Nikki's boyfriend only proved to you why it would have been difficult for you had you and Jungkook actually been a thing at the time. It was already painful and as petty and irrational as it may sound, it also made you jealous when you would see articles of the two of them. You're not quite sure how humilated you would have felt if you two were to be dating at the time and to see people comment on how they are a match made in heaven.
That one month, for Jungkook, was a mix of everything. The beginning of the month came with constant doubts and shame where he wondered what he should do when the month is up. He wanted you but he didn't really think he deserved you. But then he had to make up his mind; he made a mistake and he always acknowledged that but it would be so incredibly foolish if he were to let that stop him from being with you. After a week or so, he had made up his mind. He messed up, but boy if he wasn't going to make up for it.
That whole month was spent with him brainstorming ideas on how he can show his sincerity and be a better man. Somewhere along the line, he had opened up to Niki about it and there's just a hundred percent chance that if he's smiling wide in one of those paparazzi pictures, he's talking about you.
Jungkook has been nothing but the best boyfriend you could have ever asked for. Any hurt or doubt was washed away soon after the both of you started going out. Being with Jungkook was so much more than you could have ever imagined.
A month after being together, you were back as Jungkook's make-up artist. It was the best way to go about it as it would keep the both of you away from suspicious eyes and give the both of you ample amount of time to spend with each other.
You both are aware that at some point, you'd have to inform the agency of the nature of your relationship as that'd be better than them finding it out from other sources. You're not quite sure what would be left of your job, but Jungkook seems quite sure that you won't be fired and that the members together, would somehow manage the higher authorities to make their rules more flexible.
Jungkook isn't worried about the consequences with hybe, but he still finds himself stressing about the day the news becomes public. That is where you reassure him, that whatever happens, you both will get through it, together. You also remind him to not fret about it too much, because there's a long way to go before things are made public. For the time being, it's just the two of you.
"No wait, that's actually my second favourite thing," Jungkook corrects himself. "My top favourite might just be kissing you."
You fight the blush trying to make an appearance and ask, "might?"
"The last time you kissed me was ten minutes ago. Forgive me for forgetting what it was like to be kissed by you."
As cute and adorable as Jeon Jungkook might be in front of the cameras, you have recently learned that he's just as sly and playful when he wants to be.
"Will you stay still if I kiss you?"
"Kiss me first and then you shall have your answer."
So you do.
Your soft lips are welcomed eagerly by his and they move against each other, tenderly without a hint of rush. Your breaths mingle and soft sighs escape as your hands get tangled in his hair.
When you part, there's only a hair's gap between the two of you, "So what's the verdict?"
Jungkook's doe eyes appear dazed as he looks at you. "Well my brain has turned into a mush, so you can totally expect me to stay still."
You giggle and the sound of it warms Jungkook's heart like nothing ever has.
------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: i was so anxious about making this so long especially the Taehyung part but then the Taehyung part is something that happened to me irl, so i also just wanted it to be as real as possible. For Jimin, it just didn't feel right for the reader to agree to go out or be with Jimin without him earning it. But then, it also didn't quite fit in this reaction thing, if that makes sense? If y'all want some good ol' grovelling from this Jimin in a one-shot i will see what I can come up with 😉.
That being said, let me know what you thought of this! (This really was a lot of work, so your words would be greatest source of encouragement and achievement for me). Also, if you like my work and wish to have access to all my works before anyone else, here's my patreon!
Hope you enjoyed reading this!
#BTS FF#Bts au#BTS reactions#bts ot7#Ot7 reactions#Maknae line#BTS angst#BTS fic#BTS unrequited au#Jimin angst#Jimin FF#Jimin au#Fuckboi Jimin#Jimin scenarios#Taehyung angst#Taehyung au#Taehyung scenarios#taehyung reaction#Jimin reaction#Jungkook au#Jungkook FF#Jungkook angst#Jungkook scenario#jungkook x reader#Jungkook reaction#Idol Jungkook#Jimin x Reader#Taehyung x reader
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Jimin boyfriend headcanon <3
Will always mention you in every conversation he has (most times he doesn’t actually realise he’s doing it)
Definitely the type to love to buy you gifts, pricey ones but also meaningful ones. I can see him being excited to give it to you. He’s very giving and won’t expect anything in return.
Whenever he’s out he’ll pick up something that reminds him of you, whether it’s your fav snack, etc.
He remembers every little detail and will remember when you mindlessly tell him you like something or dont like something, etc.
He’s very sentimental
PHYSICAL TOUCH!!! Will always touch you no matter where you are. Even if it’s just a simple hand on your hand or leg etc. He will also mindlessly do this as well
JEALOUS & possessive!!!!! He means well but he can’t help it. I can imagine him getting jealous when someone talks about you.
He’s a proud boyfriend. He will love to show you off to his friends etc and is smitten over anything you do.
Very supportive. He’s always your no.1 supporter and loves to hear your thoughts or ideas etc.
You’re his muse. He will probably be inspired by everything that is you. 100% will write a few songs about you!
Always takes your advice and loves hearing your input. He really adores you and wants to know about your opinions.
Kind of needy and requires your attention. He loves being around you and wants to be apart of your routine & visa versa. Even when he’s busy he’ll be texting you, checking up on you and thinking about you most of the time
#bts#bts army#bts au fic#bts x reader#bts scenarios#bts jimin#bts headcanons#bts imagines#jimin x y/n#jimin au#jimin x reader#jimin#park jimin#jimin fluff#jimin headcanons#bts boyfriend material#jimin boyfriend material#headcanon#headcanons#jimin imagine#jimin scenarios
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Safe Haven (M) | PJM
Safe Haven
⟶ Pairing: Park Jimin x Female Reader
⟶ Genre: royalty, smut, 18+
⟶ Tropes: forbidden love au, medieval royal au, royal king’s guard werewolf!jimin
⟶ WC: 16.2k+
⟶ Warnings: mild birth scene mention (hardly any details!), mentions of d*ath, brief fighting/attacking descriptions, blood mentions, hair pulling (when attacked), weapons mentioned, poison/venom mention, random side character d*aths, soft pining, kisses, fingering, oral (f), unprotected sex, etc
⟶ Beta: Sarah bean! @caelesjjk
⟶ Summary: When a wolf protects the royal family for many years, he’s faced with one special princess who he’ll do anything for.
⟶ Author’s Note: Apart of the “To Love a Monster” collab! I took a long while to get this fic out – and I am sorry for those who have been waiting for it. It may take me months to write and readers minutes to read, but I do hope that this fic holds a special place in someone’s heart in the end! Please enjoy & leave some feedback if you have the time!
⟶ Song Recommendation: Bound to You by Christina Aguilera
Masterlist ◈ Mail Box ◈ AO3 ◈ Ko-Fi
Freshly welcomed into the King’s Guard, Jimin, a sprouting young wolf, rushes around the corridors of the castle to obey the barking orders of his higher-ups. Making haste, all servants and guards make their purpose of assisting the Queen.
“Hurry!” Hoseok, another royal guard and close friend to Jimin, shuffles through the utility room. “Gather more cloth!”
“Aren’t people usually more prepared with things like this?” Jimin frantically follows, his voice rushed with the fast pace movements.
“I’m afraid not,” Hoseok huffs a laugh.
The two younger royal guards speedily ransack each drawer and closet until their arms are full of materials. They stumble back down the hall towards the birthing chamber. A room enclosed for the parties who participate with the anticipated arrival of the next royal kin. A domestic, darkened room provided with the country's softest furnishings. Royal officials and servants are permitted to be within the room for the delivery to ensure that there are no scandals around the birthing practice.
A midwife places herself before the legs of the Queen. A moan of pain rips from her Highness’s throat. Jimin and Hoseok stand idly as the birthing of child number three crowns at the entrance of the world, preparing to gain its first breath of fresh air. The scene is natural for humans, even more common for a royal to carry out in front of an audience.
For Jimin, he prefers not to stare like the others. His polished amber eyes trail to the lines of the floorboards, using any peripheral view for his advantage.
“It’s a girl!” He hears the cries from a newborn baby, the declaration announced by the midwife who’s wiping off residue from the infant.
Placed on the chest of her mother, the newest child of the royals whines freely. The sound rings through the ears who listen. The King is joyous, regardless of being unable to create a proper heir to his throne. But with the first two daughters – and now third, the royal guards know his Highness will move quickly in trying for a son.
Servants flutter about, handling the delicacies of aftercare for childbirth. Jimin follows after his friend, handing off the pile of cloth to a maiden. Bodies move around another like an assembly line.
For a moment, and only a moment is needed, did Jimin finally take a swift glance at the newborn who screams her upset. He locks eyes with the infant over the shoulder of Hoseok, seeing a warmth of an everlasting hearth as she cries wet droplets down her face.
Then it happened.
Jimin is struck with something that is indescribable. Something that couldn’t be defined. He’s heard through stories and lores within his lineage that this phenomenon could happen to anyone at any time in one's life. He hears about it through those he’s close to and those who experience it. It’s a once in a lifetime deal.
He can feel the shift of his weight when he locks eyes with the newborn baby. As if this new formed motion represents an outstanding astronomical level. Where his world, which once revolved around the Sun as it does for everyone, now revolves around this small, fragile child.
Jimin’s heartbeat thumps in his ears as the world freezes around him. Hoseok and the other royal wolf guards all sense a change in the wind. If it isn’t Hoseok ushering him out of the way of the other servants and departing out of the chamber, he’s sure the royal family would have done it themselves.
With his head on a silver platter.
Hoseok’s palm slaps the side of Jimin’s cheek to gain his consciousness from whatever daze he’s fumbled in. It takes him a few good taps before Jimin blinks. His blood runs rampant inside him with warmth and excitement.
The second Jimin looked at the third child of the royal household, everything changed within him. All of a sudden, nothing else matters. The yearning of knowing and willing to do anything, be anything, for her is the only constant demand singing at the back of his head.
“You didn’t,” Hoseok’s hushed tone stays low. “Not a royal!”
“How am I supposed to control that?” Jimin stresses. “I can’t choose who this happens to! I didn’t expect this to happen to me!” He runs a hand through his soft hair, exhaling sharply as his mind begins to race.
“You’re going to learn,” Hoseok claims. His eyes are sharp and narrow. “You will learn to control it. A wolf is not allowed to be mixed with a royal. They’ll kill you.”
His imprint will be kept secret from the royals and the precious baby girl. But for his wolf mates, each of them knows the severity of the situation. Not one member will speak of it, they only can respect it. As for Jimin, he’ll spend the rest of her life – your life – being what you need him to be. A friend, a brother, a protector. Whatever you require of him, he will act accordingly in secrecy while obeying his rightful duties to the royal throne.
White flurries fall slowly from the gray clouds above, decorating the large courtyard, you look down towards the sheet of fresh snow. Most of the garden that blooms the most gorgeous flowers is now a mess of dead plants and weeds. The bare trees stand firm. But those who stand strong in the winter months like hollies with red berries and camellias, continue to stand out next to the beauty of sheared evergreens and deciduous shrubs with colorful stems.
Your eyes are not trained on admiring the bright snow that cascades from the sky so beautifully. Normally you would. As you sit by your glass window with a blanket around your shoulders, you look down from your chambers on the third level of the castle to fancy something different.
Men – some of the royal guards – play around with one another in the cold weather. Some have shifted to their wolven form, others remain in their noble suits. The one you fixate your stare on is your personal guard, Jimin.
He stands leaning against the stone staircase beside a few of his equals. Chatting away about who knows what, watching the others roughhouse. Jimin is quite handsome, he always has been. For as long as you can remember he’s looked the same, minus the fluctuation of hair styles and added tattoos that linger his body and a few added battle scars.
As a guard he wears your family's sigil proudly – a lotus flower – on each of his articles of clothing. Customized into each of the guards’ crested plates of metal armor and sewn into each leather hide.
Jimin possesses the unfair mix of unlimited masculine and feminine traits, having a soft-looking composure and full lips plus a sharp jawline and toned muscles. His voice is nearly angelic when speaking in hushed tones but also stern as ever when he leads with his strong confidence. He may not be as large as his fellow wolves, but he’s proven himself countless times to your family to have the privilege to be your personal guard. There’s nobody quite like him; no one you’ve met in your life that is.
You commend him in silence, appreciating what you can watch from afar. Even from a distance behind a glass window, he somehow manages to make your heart race. An infatuation some may call it. A yearning. He and your family have been consistent in your life, he’s comfort – as are they. But you knew from a young age, from when you began favoring Jimin’s company over others, that you need to call it ‘nothing’. Because whatever feelings that spin deep inside you are never to be spoken aloud. It’s foolish for your Kingdom, family, and you to long for a wolf who doesn’t see you as anything but a duty.
What’s more disappointing is that you don’t need to admit these infuriating feelings to Jimin, he already knows. He would never allow it to get far by cutting you short and being curt with clipped words and disapproving looks.
He is a wolf and you are a royal. Two beings who have no business intertwining besides with loyalty to the family and the job of a guard. Your acquaintanceship between another is only going to be professional. Perhaps it’s to keep the bloodline pure, untainted. How every sibling of the family is betrothed to a neighboring kingdom, growing the alliance across countries. And not one of them has a blend of wolf’s blood in them. Even though werewolves are evident in the world around you.
“Aren’t you supposed to get ready for the party tonight?” A maid who's making your bed quips up as you're daydreaming down into the evergreen.
“I’ve been stuck on deciding which dress I should wear.”
“No, you’ve been stuck staring out into the courtyard,” she corrects.
You slump in your seat as you stubbornly hold your position by the window. When you look back down, you admire the off-brown and black tones of that particular wolf you fancy. She isn’t wrong, you know. His kind eyes and kind smiles make you feel warmth like no other, and you enjoy seeing them when you gain the chance.
“I can multitask,” you feebly argue. You drag the blanket tighter around your shoulders, keeping in the warmth of your body as much as possible. “Besides, the party isn’t for a few more hours.”
“Princess, you already have guests arriving. Half the guard is at the entrance welcoming the parties who show up early. Let’s not begin to mention how several potential suitors are arriving today. You’ve failed to marry even when betrothed. Such a shame what happened with the Jeon family.”
“I prefer not to be a royal. It doesn’t feel right the way we work,” you sigh as the joyful wolves down below have fun while you’re stuck in your tower with envy. “Can we braid my hair the way we did at my Aunt’s wedding? It cascaded down beautifully.” You speak while staring out of the window, purposely ignoring the heavier topic your maid mentions. “I’ll go with the silver dress. That one that comes with the gorgeous fur shawl.”
You notice the way that Jimin has suddenly turned to look up toward your window, half expecting to see you through the glass. Even in the midst of his comrades, he finds a way to give you an ounce of attention. He shakes his head momentarily, already scolding you without knowing what you’re supposed to be doing. Jimin knows looking for him isn’t on your agenda, you purposely put him there.
“For me to do that,” – you hear the voice of your maid – “I need you to get out of your chair and into your washroom.”
A small frown carves into your face when Jimin circles his finger in the air and directs you to turn around, go back to your business. He knows he’s escorting you tonight at the party, you will see him later. To make his point come across sternly, he disassociates his eye contact – bringing his attention back to his other peers and away from you.
“Princess,” your maid bids you once again.
Reluctant to leave your post at the window, you stand up regardless. You have a long night ahead of you while the castle starts to fill up with guests for your younger brother’s birthday party.
You can’t be bothered with the chattering staff or the nuisance of guests who flutter around the halls of your family’s castle. Each moment you find open to run away, to a quieter place and away from their eyes, you take it. Swiftly moving left and right until you can find your favorite spots to hide since you were a child.
One of which happens to be past the hallway of family portraits. If you travel far enough you find yourself at a dead end. With cabinets, paintings, and curtains outlining every inch of the stone walls. Torches are lit to illuminate the surrounding areas, bringing light to the beautiful surroundings.
But little do most know, that behind painting number two – the one in the golden frame with green shrubbery and a little boy playing the flute – lies a secret behind it. You just need to get here without anyone seeing you sneak in. There’s no point in a secret hideout if you accidentally show it to other guests.
You wait for the time, seeing when that end of the hall becomes vacant and people rush toward the call of the buffet lines. The small talk you make with a few distant relatives is only an act, pretending to walk along with them but slipping away when you find your moment to.
Pressing lightly, the nook of a room behind the large painting greets you. It’s closet sized, filled with a few pieces of your past and littered in dust from lack of touch. Tarps are draped over unused furniture; you’re thankful that this hideout is never really used. The painting that acts as a door allows you a small peeping eyehole to look out and judge when you can come out.
The silver dress you picked for tonight's gathering is a smart choice for you; you’re able to sit down comfortably without restriction. You love the look of a free-flowing gown, falling nicely with the way you walk. Patting off a layer of dust from a chair, you’re able to seat yourself as you take an old notebook in your hand.
Small doodles linger on the pages, all drawn by your younger self. You remember each of them, no matter how terrible they may look. It’s how you pass time while hiding in here. The low lighting from the cracks of the portrait gives you most of your light source, and occasionally you will add flame to the candle that rests on the top of the desk beside you.
You scowl at the dried black ink next to the quill pen, the feather beaten up and torn. It’s been years since you’ve last touched it. Maybe browsing through all the pages of your books won’t be so bad as you loiter in your small den.
“Princess Y/n.”
A spark of panic zaps through you like lightning in the sky on a stormy day. Surprised by the voice of none other than Jimin, your personal royal guard. You watch as fingers curl around the edge of the portrait-door and a beautiful, yet stern, face peeks through. His amber eyes catch you as they squint at your mischievous behavior.
“I knew you would be hiding somewhere.” He comments as he pushes himself through the opening and into the room. Jimin wears the guards festive wear, a beautiful pink etched coat with cream leather hide armor. He’s sure to close the door behind him; he’s more stealthy than you can ever be. “Are you upset?”
“No,” you turn your head back to the book in your hands. The weight of his gaze on you is nearly suffocating. “I simply wanted solitude.”
“You know you are to be returned. They’re calling upon your brother shortly for his ceremony. It’s a big event for him,” his tone is low but he maintains a soft tenor to it. Jimin is far too kind toward you even though he’s meant to be a guard and nothing more. His exterior has toughened over the years, as it should to fill his part. Although, the sweeter half of him sticks out to you and perhaps that’s what you’ve held onto all these years.
“Sadly, I know.” You shut your eyes and sigh heavily, “I’m not quite in the celebratory mood. I would much prefer to be in my chambers.”
“That’s selfish of you.” Jimin’s hand comes to take away your book, placing it on the desk where it belongs. He bends down to level his face with yours. “You should be happy for your brother, he’s of age to carry out duties now. To be what he needs to be. Something you should understand.”
You hear the underlying hint Jimin gives you. He’s softly scolding you, as usual.
At first you say nothing in response. Downcasting your eyes to your empty hands as you think what can be said to counter him, but you draw nothing.
You’re the third child in the family of four. A role where you feel invisible and forgotten. Always having second bests and hand-me-downs. Once your brother, who is a few years younger than you, sprouted from the womb of your mother – all chances of your favor flew out the window. As a male in this royal world is keen, any daughter is denied the spotlight. But you never craved a place to rule, or to do what a princess must do. Your oldest sister, the most responsible one of all, desires that for herself. You see it in the way she presents herself. Aces every test and diplomacy role she is given.
The second oldest is the fairest, she didn't need to do much to gain the popularity or attention she is given. It comes so unfairly natural to her thanks to the outstanding looks she’s been blessed with. A privilege only few and far between are given. Life for her is as simple as breathing, all she needs to do is point and ask.
Your younger brother is everything that your father waited for. Of course, your father, the King, treats all his children with love and passion. Keeps you sheltered, fed, and protected. However, the moment he received a bouncing baby boy – that tears any favoritism away from you or your sisters. A male has an unfair advantage in the royal family, it’s just how the world is.
“Princess –”
“– I know,” you unwillingly stand up from your chair. Jimin straightens himself as well, taken aback by your swift movement. “I want to retire after his ceremony,” you say curtly.
You take a single step toward the door as your hand reaches out to push against it, Jimin’s hand grabs your wrist gently, like catching a delicate rose. Softly, he lowers your arm down as he steps before you with a concerned look on his face. His eyes search for signs of distress on your face.
“You’re upset,” he affirms.
“Nothing works in my favor,” you address with a choleric tone. Anger isn’t something you want resting on the surface, but it’s leaking out of the seams of your composure. “Sometimes, I truly despise being a royal daughter.”
You stare at the digits wrapped around your wrist, noticing how Jimin hasn’t let go of you yet. It feels cruel how you wish there was more meaning to the contact. Why can’t he hold you the way you long for him to?
Your eyes meet his with confusion and sadness. The pretty amber color still stands out in the low lighting, they’re beautiful to stare at. But you can’t read what’s going on in his mind.
Jimin feels your sadness. He is connected to you deeply, little do you know. You can never know. It’s safer this way. Slowly, he releases your wrist letting his fingertips be the last thing that brushes against your skin. He can only comfort you so much without overstepping his boundaries. If he capsizes every time you give him those hopeless eyes, he’ll lose his placement in the guard and lose you indefinitely.
“Please,” he breathes, “We must go.”
Jimin pushes the hatch open steadily, peering out through the eyehole to make sure the coast is clear to sneak back into the festivities. He leaves space between the two of you as you walk side-by-side.
Silent tension surrounds you as your heels click with every step you take. There’s a dullness in your eyes, a lack of enthusiasm the closer you approach the center of the party. The amount of people here drains you even as you wear a kind smile.
Your little brother’s coronation will go quickly, you hope. Jimin’s words resound in your head, causing you to reflect on what he said.
“That’s selfish of you.”
You make your way to your designated chair at the family table quietly. The talks and commotions between the castle’s guests, family from far and wide, don’t phase you as you blur out the noise. The red liquid poured graciously in a chalice beside you becomes your saving grace; your delicate fingers grasp the cup and run over the smooth jewels embedded on the sides.
Your eyes find Jimin’s across the crowded room as he stands on guard near one of the walls. His hand rests over the handle of his sword casually, a weapon they choose first before shifting as a last resort. He can read the longing in your eyes with a mix of desperation and gloom.
You wait to see his expected disapproving look. The one that tells you to pay attention to something else other than him – but you don’t. He stuns you confused as, instead of his typical stern look, he looks down at the ground. Deep in thought.
Are you truly selfish when nobody around you is selfless?
Your chamber is a sanctuary. Filled with all the necessities you need to live like royalty. An abundant amount of candles have been lit to brighten the room, giving it a soft aura.
You wear your hair down, untied from the tight braids you wore for the majority of the night. Your nightgown, cream in color and silk to the touch, is loose in all the right places. The ceremony took its time as you waited to retire for the night with the little patience you have left. You’re positive plenty of men are still celebrating at their feast.
Maybe tomorrow will be a better day.
A loud thud shakes the doors to your room, a verbal grunt can be heard. You look over at your maid who does the same as she slowly walks toward the noise. There's a scurry of traffic beyond your door as the two of you try to make out the words that are being shouted. You take a step with her, but with that single step you catch a glimpse of something out of the corner of your eye. Through the window you see a flash of red light. Smoke rises as pieces of the garden have been lit to flame. Upon closer inspection, you peer down your window into the once beautiful scenery to find brawls of fights. Men fighting enemies with swords, crossbows and guns.
Another thump hits the outside of your chamber’s doors and you twist your head to see your maid inches away from the handle, ready to pull.
“Don’t!” You turn frantic to shout at her.
But it is too late. Your maid already has her hand twisting the handle to pull the door open. But a force pressed the door faster than she anticipated – a body of a man standing guard slumped against the doorframe and now falling to the floor. A wound across his neck as blood smears across your family’s sigil on his leather chest plate.
Both you and your maid screech at the sight as you back away from the door. You can hear the commotion louder now as bodies rush past the halls as they run away from the intruders.
“Hide!” Your maid shoos you quickly and frantically while her first attempt of shutting your chamber’s door fails.
You’re not given a moment to think before you watch as two ruffians walk up to the door, one holding a flamed torch and a hand dagger as the other holds a handgun. They’re dirty from appearance, wearing torn up clothes but come armed with weapons that look like they belong to someone wealthy. They smile evilly, curling their lips at the sight of you as they advance on your maid.
“There’s a royal,” one comments in a ghoulish tone. They step over the body below them like it’s a fallen tree trunk. They laugh among each other, giggling at whatever is playing on in their minds. You definitely do not wish to know.
Your maid twists away, hoisting her skirt up high enough to let her legs lounge as she begins to run toward you. It provokes one of the men, making him chase her immediately as he finds it funny to stalk her. Threaten her with the slices he mimics with his dagger in the air.
Slowly, your feet have backed up along the path of your room. You make sure you keep as much furniture between you and the intruders. Your eyes remain open wide, trying so hard not to blink and miss any sudden movements.
You feel small compared to the man’s stature as he creeps closer and closer to you. Hectically, your hands reach around the tops of dressers and tables to find anything to use as a weapon. A letter opener? A pen? Anything to defend yourself from whoever these men are who impose your safe space.
More screams and shouts can be heard throughout the castle halls and outside. The place is being run down with bandits, unknown persons who you cannot identify from first glance. They wear close to all black attire, worn down from several years. Protected by pads and suitable armor, as if they collected stolen pieces and placed them together.
You hold your arms closer to your body with the heat of the males heavy gaze on you. His eyes look bloodshot as he studies your options of escape.
“Come here little royal,” he sneers while his beaten up boots scuff across the floor.
Your maid is chased across the wall, quickly making her way toward you as the other man follows her like a hunter. Herding his prey together before they set to kill.
They rush the two of you, forcing you to nearly trip over your own feet as your gown betrays you while you step on the very end of it. A small rip of fabric resounds but you’re in too much of a haste to notice from where.
Your maid screams in horror as you yell out for help. Your bodies fumble across the expanse of your chamber’s, trying to find the opportunity to rush out of the door if you can. To escape the men who run after you.
Where are the rest of your guards? What is happening and why are your werewolf guards not attacking? Who are these men and what do they have to attack the castle with? In all your years on this planet, you’ve never been caught in a situation like this. No intruder has ever made it past the front gates until now.
A knife is thrown in your direction, missing you but landing straight into the wall beside your head.
“Oops, guess I need to try that again,” you hear the male speak with malicious intent.
The other has gained enough momentum to grab your maid, pull her in as she struggles to fight him off. He’s rough, holding her arms as he pushes her against the wall. You're already rushing to her side, using your fists to hit the man on his arm and back.
“Get off of her!” you bawl, throwing your fist at him as fast as possible.
A hand grips your hair, yanking you back away from the two and onto the closest table. Your back hits the surface hard as the man presses you down. He threatens you with a dagger pointed at your face as his other hand holds you down by your shoulder.
The brute force immediately makes your eyes water as you stare up at the man in fear. You wrap your hands around his wrists to push him off, holding him off for as long as you can. Your kicks and screams do nothing to phase him, only fuels him.
You feel his hand slide to your throat; latch his ugly, dirty fingers around your neck. It’s brief, like a flash of lightning. But just as soon as he repositions himself, an arrow shoots straight into his head. Visibly shaken, you struggle to process the vicious man above you losing the life he has.
Your efforts of pushing begin to work as his lack of strength weakens by the second. A final push, not made by you – but from your personal guard, Jimin, knocks the man entirely off of you. He’s quick, already primed and prepped to shoot the other ruffian the second he turns away from your maid and to see his comrade passed out on the floor. Jimin launches another arrow with a flick of his finger, a perfect shot.
Both ruthless and merciless men seem to be dead, fallen to the floor of your chamber’s as pools of blood leak from their bodies.
You and your maid tremble in fear and anxiety. Frightened at the series of events and how the two of you were nearly brutally attacked.
Jimin wears streaks of blood across his face as his hair falls out of place. His beautifully tailored festive armor is now beaten and destroyed with stains. You look at him with confusion and anguish as reality sets in.
“Jimin,” you cry out in a broken sob. Your throat tightens and feels as if it’s being pricked by a dozen thorns while your hand runs up to touch the area where the man laid his fingers on.
“I’m sorry,” are the first words out of his mouth. Solemn and saddened. But he’s relieved to be here for you, even if he is cutting it short and close to being a second too late.
It isn’t his fault the castle has been blindsided and an evil group has snuck their way inside its walls and started a reign of terror. But he takes blame for not being at your side every second that he should have been. Instead, he rushed to the frontlines once called upon. Tried to stop the invasion from penetrating deeper into the castle.
In most cases this strategy works, but unfortunately tonight – it doesn’t.
But as the fighting continues and larger groups of people begin rushing in from all areas of the castle – equipped with tainted metals containing mountain ash and wolfsbane – the royal guards are not as prepared. A minor setback, yet it almost costs your life.
“I came as soon as I could,” he steps closer to you with sympathetic eyes. He’s hurt, more worried about how you are as he feels your dread and fear. “I’m so sorry.”
There’s still many battles being fought throughout the castle. People being slayed as guards protect as much as they can. Jimin helps you stand straight, holding you close to him as he’s escorting both your maid and you out of your chamber’s.
“Jimin,” you repeat as you hold onto him, wrapping your hands desperately around him. “Who are they?”
He brings the two of you deeper into your chamber, rushing you to a secret doorway that leads to a hidden passage. Your castle is littered with these; most guards know several entrances but not a lot of exits. It’s a maze down there; dark, cold, and gloomy as well. As a child, you would wander through some just to see how far you could reach without cowering out.
“They must be from the South. They’re fighting with wolfsbane. Their weapons are laced with it.”
It’s common knowledge that wolfsbane is rare near these grounds. It’s ordinary for them to grow down South, but they can be imported. Your family is known for being guarded by werewolves; so an attack like this must be heavily planned.
“Remember the passageways?” Jimin grunts as he pushes both you and your maid toward a panel against the wall. It’s colored like an archway, but the third one can be open with a twist of a lever. Specifically the sconce hanging to the left of it. “I need you to escape through them.”
You hear the falter in Jimin’s voice momentarily, how he sounds like he staggered his breath.
“Are you hurt?” You ask alarmingly. Your eyes frantically scan over his exterior, looking for any noticeable signs of a wound.
“Princess, I need you to go through the passageways,” he turns the lighting fixture swiftly. The secret door clicks open, a cool gust of air puffs through and hits against your skin. “Don’t worry about me. I need to protect you and the rest of your family.”
Your maid understands, already stepping through as she’s pulling you with her. Jimn is a guard, he needs to go and maintain his duty. Your maid is a servant – she is here to assist you until she can no longer. She begs you to step quickly, down the stone stairs into the pit of the passages.
“Jimin, no!” You grip tighter on his forearm as he tries to shrug you off of him. Blood tarnishes your cream colored nightgown as you’re pulled away from Jimin. It must be from those Jimin has fought already. “Come with me!”
Jimin takes your chin in his hand and inspects the distress on your face. Even when rushed, worried about your safety and life, he looks at you like he’s lost in your eyes. The gentle touch of his fingertips feels serene, featherlight even though they’re calloused through the years of combat.
He’s moving you back into the passageway, gripping the door with his other hand to shut it on you when the moment comes. There’s displeasure spilling out of him only because he is infuriated by the way you stubbornly won’t see the concern for yourself.
“I need to protect the family. This is me protecting you,” he speaks sternly. “Please listen to me, princess,” he exhales slowly. His eyes flicker across your features with tenderness, “I am not losing you. Use the passageways,” he reminds you. “Exit at the stables. I will meet you there. You know which way to go?”
You stare at him dumbfounded at first. Like time is slowing down, but you cannot shake the feeling that you won’t see him again. You don’t feel convinced.
“B-But –”
“Go!” Jimin practically growls out his demand to you. In an instant, his amber eyes shine with a blue ring around his irises. It’s the first time Jimin has ever used that timbre with you, making you jolt away with shock.
He warns you to watch your step and stay on the correct path toward the stables. Keep close to your maid and stay quiet. He rips off his cavalier shoulder cape, draping it around your shoulders to keep you warm as you descend into the chilly pathways. Jimin closes the door promptly, forcing you to turn with your maid and to escape to safety. Your heart ricochettes inside your chest, pounding erratically as you rush.
Throughout the narrow hallways, dripping with leaking water spouts and cobwebs, you hear the signs of savage wolf growls and barks as your royal guard begin shifting as their last resort. Cries of pain and fighting scare you further as you follow the lead of your maid, wondering how you’ll survive what comes ahead. The thin slippers still on your feet dampen with every hurried step you take as you hold Jimin’s cape tighter against your frame to stay as warm as possible.
“I am not losing you,” replays inside your head and inside your heart.
Moonlight shines from above as your maid cracks open a hardened rock exitway. You came across many forks in the maze of the castle's passageways, but you remember from your past the correct ways to take. The two of you are at the stables, you can smell the mixture of horse and hay in the air. The area is unhit from the onslaught of violence for now.
“Shall we take a horse?” Your maid suggests as she creeps behind a bundle of stacked hay.
“Jimin said he’ll meet us here,” you remind her.
The chill of the outside runs straight through your body. You curse to yourself at your poor choice of attire.
Together, the two of you watch the distance of all the violence. You see bloodshed with many reinforcements coming from every side of the castle. The thought of Jimin being caught in this mess sends a shiver down your spine. Wolves – your family's guards – have shifted to their creature form. They’re larger than any wild wolf; standing on all four limbs taller than most humans.
They’re very swift at responding to the attackers, taking them out one by one. But you know the attackers are fighting against them with poisonous tactics – an advantage to go against such beasts. With these weapons, the werewolves near invulnerability, speed, and strengths are weakened once hit with the toxins. You can already witness it with a few of your guards.
“We’re still inside the castle walls, Princess. We need to get out of here fast,” she insists. Her eyes scan around for an opening, an escape route for the two of you. You’ll have to be fast.
“He knows we are here!” You yell at her in a hushed tone. “I’m not leaving unless it’s with –”
Just as you attempt to finish your sentence, the loud sound of wood snapping through the entrance door interrupts you. Men rush in, manically screaming in an uproar as the flames of their torches begin touching the fodder in the stables. Setting the straw ablaze in a matter of seconds.
You and your maid slouch back into a corner, away from view for as long as you can. Horses neigh with anger, jumping and kicking as the brightness and heat of fire creeps toward them. You cannot fathom the thought of losing these beautiful warhorses as they’re each tied to their own box.
“Release them,” you whisper to your maid before you frantically get up from your position and reach for the first horse.
Your soft hands flick up the lever to the wooden door, opening it up for the horse to run through and stumble toward the exit of the stables.
The maid begs you to stay hidden, but you refuse with stubbornness. In the same breath, you hear a shriek from her as you are in the midst of lifting another lever. The attackers have noticed her and shortly spot you as well.
She looks at you with panic, “Run!”
In seconds, she is being grabbed once again by these aggressors. Forced down with a hard shove as she hits the ground. You shout, scream, and cry at the men who flock over toward her. A pitchfork near you is the first thing you see to use as a weapon. Surely you can scare someone off with the points of the tines.
A bellowful growl grows from a stampede of three wolves bursting onto the scene. They’re far too fast for your eyes to keep up, seeing flashes of their fur dashing around you to strike your attackers. Their teeth bare as they snarl and bite into the flesh of the men, claws digging through the fabrics and skin.
One wolf is nearly all black, slicked fur making it shine in the night. Another has a warm russet color, speckled with hues of beige but warm under the ember of the fires around you. The last wolf is your wolf – you know him far too well. Brighter shades of light brown are in his face as the rest of his pelt darkens into a deep dark, chocolate color. His amber eyes, now sparked with blue, casts over to you briefly as he takes out an enemy, his paw stepping hard against his chest and pressing down.
It’s like whiplash with how fast the royal guards cleared out the stables as the fire consumes the fixtures around you. Smoke fills the air, rising heavily as thick clouds form. Pieces of the loft areas begin to break and fall as the other roped up horses huff and puff.
The stark black wolf is the one lifting your maid off the ground as it nudges her. She’s wounded, you can tell as red covers the fabric of her left arm. You take a step toward her, wanting to console and help – but in return you are barked at by Jimin. He rushes toward you, his speed frightening you as you backpedal away from the area. He stares hard at you, growling in a low tone as ashes fall behind him.
He’s moving you away, wanting you out of the area. The other two wolves bark in his direction, some form of communication you cannot understand as Jimin glances back and responds with his own call.
The russet colored wolf jumps toward Jimin as you watch your maid latch onto the black fur of the other. She gives you a sympathetic look, mouthing the words ‘get out of here’ to you.
A large beam from above falls and crashes in the middle of the stables, breaking other fixtures in its path. Ember’s rise from the burning building with a massive gust of wind as you turn your face away from the crash.
“Jimin!” You cough as your arms shield you. Your eyes tickle in pain from the smoke, the fire’s brightness doesn’t help either.
You can feel the brush of fur against you as a heavy body presses into your front. You smell the wilderness immediately as you fall forward, burying your face and arms into Jimin’s coat. He nudges you with his shoulder and a grunt. Somehow able to understand what he’s saying.
Quickly, you pull yourself up along his back like one would do for a horse. Your face remains embedded into his fur as you wrap your arms around his neck, hooking your fists onto his coat to anchor yourself.
You move with the russet colored wolf as he clears out the path ahead of you and Jimin. Taking down any attacker standing in the path to escape. It’s difficult to hold onto a wolf, feeling your limbs tighten around Jimin as hard as you possibly can just to stay on top as he dashes through the terrain.
His goal is to get you out of here safely, remove you from the premises. He brings you farther and farther away from the castle and closer to the woods. The last glimpse you dare to make shows you the image of the russet wolf turning back toward the scorched castle grounds.
You pray for the good safety of everyone. Hope the castle is still together after the royal guard protects and saves the night.
It’s freezing as Jimin runs through the thicket of the wilderness, deeper than you ever dare to go alone. You keep your head down, pressed into his back as bitter cold breezes over the surfaces of your body that aren't protected by Jimin’s warmth. The nightgown you wear is thin, not topped with layers among layers of fabrics and wiring like a corseted dress would have. Not to mention the tingling burn to your bare feet as the winter air touches them. But he is warm. A heated beast beneath you, emitting a comforting temperature the more your fingers curl into the roots of his bristle fur.
His breath is labored, chest heaving as his limbs carry you fast. Jimin zips through the rough terrain of the earthy woods, jumping and dodging the obstacles in his way. You fear the tightness of your muscles as you cling on to him, feeling the exhaust of your body as they sore.
You’re not sure how long you’ve been a passenger on Jimin’s back. Everything has happened so quickly. It isn’t until you hear the noises of strangers. The padding of snow under Jimin’s paws begins sounding different. Now stepping on hardened ground.
Your eyes blink open as you take in the surroundings passing by. Glowing lights in tapered windows of wooden cabins flash in seconds. Secured doors and moss growth along the sides of several cabin-like housings.
Jimin leads with a howl, rushing toward the only place he knows will keep you the most protected. He slows his pace as he draws near, beckoning with a warning call for the door to swing open and allow him in. You find yourself entering with him, a soft warmth from a low burning fireplace greets you as the two of you enter.
You feel the way Jimin stumbles, his body catching up with how taxed he must be. The way his shoulders shrug tells you to dismount him as his mouth pants labored breaths. Carefully, you slide until your toes touch the floor below you.
“Jimin?” Your first concern comes out worriedly. Your hands still roam his fur as you notice the warmth of red liquid staining your palms – even pieces of your clothes. It’s enough to make you feel uneasy about the open wounds you fail to find through his pelt.
He’s quick to move from you, tripping over himself as he walks deeper toward the back of the cabin. A low growl rumbles from his chest as a warning, unwanted contact from you.
You take a step to follow him, seeing how hurt he is – it only wrenches your heart tighter. Your eyes grow wider the further he steps away from you, scurrying himself as he barks in the air for help.
A soft pair of hands hold onto your elbow, keeping you from the beast in pain. You snap your head toward the contact, searching for the reason why you’ve been halted.
“Don’t.” A woman with dark, long wavy hair speaks in a low tone. Her skin is aged but glows beautifully. Bundled up in layered clothes, she wears a worried look just like you. But it’s because she is stressed about your concern over the wolf in agony. “He will be alright.”
The door behind her has already been shut tight as the woman urges you to sit on the closest couch. Your eyes flick back to Jimin who continues to pad down the end of the hallway, twisting into a new shape as his body slowly transforms back into a human state. It’s an image you never expected to see, completely magical and out of this world as you catch glimpses of a wolf morphing into man.
His deep groans turn more audible as his real voice is able to break free.
“Wolfsbane –” he curses out into the open as he’s hunched over. He breathes heavily, open mouth catching air for his lungs as his fingers now claw at the bloody abrasion on the left side of his chest.
From your spot on the sofa, you witness Jimin suffering in a fetal position with no clothes. He’s turned to the side, hiding what he can in his vulnerable state. His long hair, usually kept neatly pulled back, falls dramatically across his face. His nose scrunches as his lips pull back to show his seething teeth.
“Jimin!” You begin to stand up, but the woman holds her hands out before you.
“Stay, Princess! Please!” Her voice is soft.
She tries her best to be respectful, honoring your title even in the severity of a situation. “I’m his mother.” She claims before gripping a knitted wool blanket off the back of a chair and rushing over to her son.
You blink, stunned as you process all the movements and information playing out in front of you.
Jimin coughs as his head presses into the floor. You watch in horror the way Jimin’s body rejects the burn of the wolfsbane that entered his system. Jerking and moving in his place as some mystical natured element helps overcome his pain. Jimin’s mother places the blanket over Jimin, shielding him from your innocent eyes. She squats beside him, hand placing over his forehead as his face twists with strain.
“Fight it,” she encourages as she pushes back his bangs to inspect his eyes. They’re reddened on the edges. The infection attacks deeply within him. His blue shiny irises that come out when he taps into his wolf form is stationary, shining brightly as he internally battles the poisonous herb. “Push it out, you can do it.”
You catch him staring at you as he overcomes this annoyance. It’s not enough to be deadly for him, but it is a good amount to weaken his overall state for the time being. His body fights to heal properly, but he’ll be ready soon.
The first initial wave of pain eases on Jimin. You don’t notice it due to the blanket covering his body, but a small pool of tainted blood leaks out of his wound. Spoiled by the wretched poison. It’s what his body needs to do, reject it and remove it entirely from him.
“Can I help in any way?” You stand and step toward him as his panting calms.
“No, no!” Jimin’s mother’s hands shoot out, shooing you. “You don’t need to do anything! His body is healing,” she reassures. “It may not make any sense, but he is going to be good. Just give him some time. Wolves have an accelerated healing power.”
“But –” you begin to counter. You feel helpless, powerless. Your heart hurts from seeing Jimin in such a distraught state. You can’t shake the image out of your head.
“Stop,” you hear Jimin breathing out. His tenor voice aching as his body shivers. “Stay over there,” he begs. “Just give me a second, Princess.”
All you can do is wait. Watch the way the man you care for struggles with himself as his supernatural body convulses and kicks out the vicious wolfsbane as he rapidly recovers. His grunts and groans do nothing to help, making you worry even more.
When Jimin finally settles, he lays limp on the floor. Relief washes over him as the surging pain seizes and his body begins to feel like normal once again. Sweat has slickened the roots of his hair, surely the rest of his skin expelled other toxins.
He starts to lift himself off the floor, using his arms to push him up to a sitting position first – then enough to stand. He clutches the blanket around him. Holding it tight around his waist and covering his lower region.
“Take your time,” his mother whispers. She, too, stands with him. Using her hands to help guide him if he wavers on his feet. He’s taller than her, but you can tell she’s strong from the way she helps hold her son up.
“I have to go back,” he says to her, but stares at you.
Jimin takes a few tentative steps until he catches the motion easilier. He walks over to you in concern, abandoning the dripped blood on the floorboard from where he once laid. You're shivering in place, not realizing it yourself.
“Mom, would you mind finding something the princess can change into? Clean her up a little as well?”
You waste no time rushing yourself to him regardless of Jimin pleading for you not to. That doesn’t stop the way your arms wrap around his torso, feeling the warmth of his smooth skin as you hold him. Your head curls into his shoulder as his free arm surrounds your back, pulling you against him.
“Please, be good. Back up,” he slowly walks you in his embrace.
You feel the rumble of his voice through his chest as you press desperately against him, not wanting to let him go just yet. He’s homely like your favorite hiding place back in the castle or the comfort of your bed after a long day of duties. It feels right to be with him as your mind speaks these words of nonsense.
“Don’t leave again,” you beg as your heartstrings twinge with sadness. You think latching onto Jimin even more would be the answer of his choice, but alas it is not. His arm is placing you down on the sofa for you to sit as he kneels on the floor. Even when you try grabbing at him, he politely pushes your hands away.
“Mom,” Jimin calls out as his hands grip the bottoms of your bare feet. He runs his palms across them, feeling how frigid they’ve become. Jimin ignores the way your cold hands try to turn his head to look up at you, stubbornly keeping it down and focused on your toes. When he fails to hear a response, he shouts again, “Mom!”
“Jimin!” You call to get his attention, fingers running through his thick locks to expose his face. Cupping his cheeks doesn’t suffice either, even your attempt to tilt his jaw fails. He isn’t budging from his position.
His mother comes out of another room with an abundant amount of clothes. Each of them look heavy, thick. Enough to hopefully keep you bundled up in the chill of a winter’s night.
Jimin squeezes your feet with his hands, trying to circulate more blood flow as he tries to warm you. He suffers knowing you’re freezing, not in an ideal state. But he can also feel the way your heart pangs with confusion and hurt. He can smell the fear radiating off of your body as you process so much.
“Would you mind changing into these?” His mother comes into your view. She begins placing pieces out in order to dress. Layers ready at your will. “I can wash your nightgown. Rid you of those stains. I can try patching up the tears in your skirt.”
The doleful look in your eyes tells her enough at one glance. She sighs as a tear trickles down the bridge of your nose.
“Why won’t you look at me?” Your voice cracks mid sentence as you stare helplessly at Jimin.
It’s languid the way his eyes flick up to you, shrouded with sadness behind his lashes.
“You’re freezing,” he states.
“I’m more hurt that you won’t let me do anything for you,” you respond with irritation. “I’m fine. You’re not.” You gesture to his exposed chest, muddied with swipes of blood on his left side.
“There’s nothing there anymore. The wound is sealed already. It’s just drying blood.”
He looks down back at your feet, finally noticing his stained hands – how he’s holding you with his own filth. The thought upsets him entirely.
Abruptly, Jimin stands. Turning away from you and rushing over to the fireplace to place more wood in the burning embers. He tightens the blanket around his waist, pacing across the floor of the cabin for anything he thinks you need before he departs.
“Run a bath,” he tells his mother. “It’ll warm her up faster. Then she can change into the clean clothes.”
“I don’t want that,” you speak. “I’ll take the clothes as they are. But Jimin –”
“– I need to go back,” he whips around in his spot. Jimin is fast on his feet, gathering some more blankets and gripping your hand. “My old room is just over here. Make yourself at home. I know this isn’t ideal but it will keep you safe and warm. My mother,” Jimin glances over at her, “She’ll be a great help. Please, take care of the Princess before I return.”
You rip your hand away from Jimin while stubbornly holding your place on the couch. It’s an act you never suspected yourself to do so harshly. The appalled look on your face puzzles Jimin. Makes him look down at you in silence, awaiting for you to speak.
“No,” you stare back. “Why can’t you just stay?”
“I have a duty,” he responds just as fast. “One to serve the royal family.”
“I am the royal family!”
“I am a part of the entire pack fighting for the kingdom right now. I must be with them.”
The frustration causes your blood to boil under your skin. Heat rises to your cheeks as anger takes over. He’s staring you down. Jimin is right after all. But yet again, without him even speaking, you can hear his voice repeat the words ���that’s selfish of you’. It rattles inside your head as your lips quiver with emotion.
You turn your head, eyes filled with sorrow dropping to your lap. The scolding fire from his bright eyes hurts you deeply. Yet he doesn’t have intentions to upset you, Jimin only wants to protect you.
“Go.”
The single word comes out so cold, so unlike your usual tone. It catches Jimin off guard.
The entire time Jimin’s mother stands in silence, trying to read the room herself as the two of you cast a tense environment. She has no place to utter a single word, not here. For a moment, she shares a cautious glance with her son. Something in her eyes that tells him that he needs to do something – say something.
“Prin –”
“– I do not want to see you.” Your voice sounds meek, on edge of falling over in the pool of emotion laying inside of you. If only he can understand how important you’ve made him in your life. How special he is and the comfort that comes with him when he’s around. Imagining him returning beaten up again bothers you. Thinking he might not come back at all is even worse.
“Just, go.” You command.
“Y/n,” Jimin speaks in a gentle voice. He steps closer to you with a heavy heart, “I’m sorry.” Slowly, he leans down to level his head with yours. It’s alright with him that you refuse to look back. Jimin knows he has your attention regardless. You feel the soft graze of his knuckle run along the edge of your jaw, surprised from the tender touch. “I really am sorry,” he smiles faintly as he leans in just enough to place his plump lips delicately on your temple.
Jimin leaves your side, turns on his heel and swiftly moves out the front door. It’s a rush from the way his body forms back into wolf and his paws press into the ground, carrying him further away from you. He wants to be here for you, but his loyalty lies deep to the guards and your family. Jimin knows you are safe, under the protection of his mother and the community surrounding the cabin. He would never just leave you.
A gust of wind blows in from outside, the chill reminding you how low the temperatures are. Jimin’s mother kindly shuts and locks the door. Silence stills softly in the ambiance of the crackling fireplace.
It breaks you knowing Jimin isn’t staying by your side. The rational side of your brain screams at you, telling you he is doing the right thing. But the emotional soft boundaries you have, that are more tender than a baby bird, weakens the further Jimin is. Like a piece of your heart constantly stripping from you. Cracking and bleeding from unreciprocated love.
The gentle face of Jimin’s mother approaches you, her soft hand places it upon your shoulder to gain your attention.
“Princess,” she begins with a kind tone. “Please know, we’ll do anything to protect you. You’re in a safe place now. My name is Mira. Let’s have you change into something warmer. I can make some tea as well.”
Her words do not stop the slow streams of tears dripping from your face. You wipe away each of them the moment they pass the curve of your cheeks, frustration and heartbreak laying deep within you.
When will he come back, you begin to wonder. Will he come back? Flashes of the ruffians and ruthlessness they project remind you how dangerous they are. What damages have they done with your family's castle? To your precious belongings?
And then it reminds you… You haven’t thought about your family. Your father and siblings, are they safe and sound? Are they escorted off the property by the guards as they clean up the mess of the intruders? How selfish of you, truly, to only think of yourself and Jimin.
Your realization serves you like the small piece of bread and tea served to you on a platter from Mira. It makes you cry more about how childish and foolish your mind is.
“He does love you,” Mira speaks again. Her eyes crinkle with wrinkles as she smiles. “He does the things he does because he loves you.”
Jimin yearns to return to your side the moment his feet step out of his childhood home. He rushes back to the castle grounds, reconnecting with the king's royal guard and abolishing any trespasser standing in his way. He fought for hours with righteousness and duty, tearing apart men limb from limb as he dodges the poisonous silver weapons laced with a venomous herb. When the time comes that the invasion of hoodlums either retreat or have been eliminated by the brute force of the royal guard – Jimin doesn’t hesitate to rush back to you.
He’s been given the blessing from his higher-ups. Notified that the castle will be on high alert while the rest of your family has been scattered to their own locations of safety. They too have their own personal guards who stand their grounds and hover their sides. What matters now is that the kingdom is still intact even after such a brutal attack. They are not overthrown and they will continue on as supreme rulers.
As for any hostages held from the invaders, they will be judged appropriately and prodded for questions and answers before the royal court. Jimin has seen this many times, but never to this extent. This is the first time in his line of duty that the castle was attacked – but he is thankful for the outcome.
He wouldn’t know what would have happened if it turned out different.
His chest heaves with heavy breaths as he slows his pace the moment his eyes lay on the door to his mother’s house. Inside he knows you are waiting, impatiently he assumes. But seeing your face again will give him a sense of relief. A calming vortex that sinks deep inside his body and warms his nerves.
Jimin’s blood pumps in his ears as he calls out to his mother in the form of telepathy – a unique trait wolves have with one another. An inner circle of connections that allows wolves to speak to other wolves. Mira is ready by the door, twisting the handle and allowing Jimin a swift entrance into the house.
He tries to step quietly as his heavy wolf form causes the wood flooring to creak under his steps. His pads resound a soft thud as he walks. At first, he expects to walk straight to his room as he remembered he offered you his place to rest. But as his nose picks up your immediate scent, he realizes that you’re still resting on the couch right in front of the fire.
“She hasn’t moved,” Mira murmurs under her breath. Jimin’s mother stayed up all hours he was gone, watching and keeping you company. “I’ve given her plenty of tea and washed her face with a heated cloth. I’ve kept adding more wood to the fire to help. Even in her sleep, she still shivers. She may have hypothermia,” she warns.
He wouldn’t put it past him if this is the case. You were never made for enduring February winters in just a nightgown after all. Barefooted may he add.
Jimin walks over you, his nose sniffing at your skin to seek any discomfort your body may radiate. You lay there bundled up as much as you can under heavy fabrics of wool and fur. Jimin smiles to himself fondly as he sees the way you tuck your chin into the blanket and cover your nose.
A tentative look is shared between Jimin and his mother before he nudges his head against your arms.
You rouse from your slumber momentarily and your immediate reaction is to tighten your body and move to a more comfortable position. However, Jimin doesn’t allow you. He nudges you again and this time he digs his nose between the crack of your arms, prying them open so he can slot his head through and force your arm around his neck.
Mumbling in your sleep, you groan at the annoyance of being woken up. But when you feel the soft bristles of fur against your face and the undeniable warmth coming from them, you cling onto whatever is pressing against you.
It wakes you further. Enough to make you register enough to know Jimin is in your arms right now. Your fingers cling onto him tightly, screwing them into knots as you inhale deeply into the side of his neck. He smells like the frozen forest mixed with burning embers; the smell of smoke clogging between his roots.
His warmth is what reminds you of home. It forces happiness to leak out of your eyes as a warm tear drips onto his fur the more you bury your face into him. His movement forces you to wake up, urging you with a tug to get off the couch and follow him.
Leisurely, you hang from him while he ushers you to the other room – his room. Your feet stumble as the two of you pass Mira. You don’t care how clumsy you look, you’re just happy to have Jimin back.
“Jimin,” his mother tries speaking in a hushed tone. “Remember who you are to her.”
He doesn’t stop his stride as he enters his old bedroom with you nearly hanging off of him. It’s upkept well thanks to his mom. Nothing moved or changed over the years. With a few more nudges and suggestive pushes, he has you falling into place upon the mattress. It’s low to the ground, easy for him to step on it even in wolf form and lay comfortably as you attach yourself to his back.
This form is undoubtedly the warmest. And with his wolf form he serves as a natural furnace for you. He doesn’t mind the way your fingers dig into his fur or the way your cold body presses desperately against his. He allows anything that will warm you up.
His eyes meet his mother’s as she leans in to shut the bedroom door. Words and feelings cannot describe his unfair bond to you – but with werewolves, they have a mutual understanding of how things work.
Jimin groans with a huff before putting his head down on the bed. He stays awake, alert, and listens to the sounds and conversations running through his head. Even when the threat is over, he still stays guard. Ready to pounce on anything that comes toward you.
For now, you may sleep comfortably. Jimin will be able to tell you later about the results of the castle and your family.
You’re greeted by coldness as you toss and turn. The fresh chill pricks your cheeks, jolting your nerves to wake when you want nothing more than sleep. Chirps of wild birds sing outside of the window that casts a dull ray of sun into the room. It still looks dark out. There’s also an ache in your joints and muscles, particularly in your neck.
Perhaps you slept awful, used to having your luxury linens and perfectly fluffed pillows. Instead you spent the night balled up, tight, against the only thing that holds heat.
The fire isn’t what saves you from the brisk cold of winter. It is the tender bristles of a wolf’s fur that hordes blissful heat, warmer than a copper pan filled with rocks warmed at the edge of a fire.
But you are not welcomed with that same softness of Jimin’s fur anymore. When you turn again, you realize you press against the smooth surface of his broadened back. Black ink decorates down his spine in the phases of the moon as your eyes focus from the haze of sleep. Does it make any sense to see the man you adore, shirtless with his back to you in the same bed?
Absolutely not.
Your clogged head tries to clear the fog of confusion as you edge away from Jimin. He’s tucked under the covers, just as you. His chest rises and falls slowly, in a deep sleep. He’s more exhausted than you, his body fought all night. It makes sense he finally collapsed into a resting state; relaxed and dare you say, delicate. The branded ink shines subtly as his skin, miraculously still smooth, feels even warmer under your tender fingertips. Slowly, you trace invisible patterns onto his skin, mesmerized by the way he doesn’t pull away from you.
You feel guilty for snuggling up closer to him, knowing very well he isn’t in a conscious state for him to put you back in your place like all the other times. But you feel drawn in and addicted to his warmth and security in such a tender position.
Jimin inhales and exhales deeply, shifting his head when he feels your fingers tickle the nape of his neck. He shifts in his sleep, moving his body enough to force you to freeze. His hand reaches back, swatting away your hand as if it is a dainty bug crawling on him. But he realizes it’s nothing but a hand – your hand – and instead, he grips it. Pulling it around him and stretching your arm across his torso so that he can hold it against his chest. Jimin curls himself in a fetal position, dragging you flush against his back.
“Stop tickling me,” he murmurs in a groggy voice. He huffs out a small burst of air, humor laced with it.
Your forehead presses into his spine, a small smile creeping up on your lips.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”
Silence falls once again except for the subtle sounds of Jimin’s breathing. You could stay like this forever if you were able to. Ignore all responsibilities of life and stay with Jimin. Deep down, you secretly wish this. Having his protection and solace, bringing you solitude and clarity. You know that he is all you will ever need. He’s been exactly everything you need him to be in your life, even when times get tough and he guides you to do something you’re stubbornly against. It’s all for your well-being. Your overall happiness. Jimin has never steered you down the wrong path; even if it’s the path you wouldn’t pick yourself.
He is strong in many ways you aren’t. Rational and accountable. You know he will do everything in his power to let you have the perfect life and he will never leave you.
This feeling of unfulfillment with your heart always reminds you how a large piece of him belongs there. No matter how much room you make for your family and potential suitors that come your way. Nothing will fill the undeniable love you have toward your personal royal guard.
“I’m sorry,” you repeat. This time with a different reason.
You’re apologizing for yourself. For the position you put yourself in even though you never win the fight with your emotions. How you cannot control this bond between the two of you and how you cannot change the way you feel toward him. You know you could never be with a wolf, let alone your own personal guard. The years between you doesn’t matter either. Jimin still looks as you first remember him, minus the added tattoos, scars and array of hair styles he’s sported. He has always been your guard, a figure to look up to, a brother, and a best friend without being them at the same time.
The connection you feel with Jimin is unexplainable. A natural magnetic draw you feel. A compelling force screaming at you that this – he – is exactly what your mind, body, and soul needs.
“Get some more rest,” Jimin urges as he squeezes your hand a little bit tighter.
“I am being honest with you,” you declare.
“So am I,” Jimin’s sleepy voice seeps through.
Your small tiff stirs Jimin awake. He turns slowly, still maintaining his hold on your hand as he faces you. The small puff of his cheeks shows you how tired he must be as his eyes remain closed. Jimin leans in, pushing your head into his chest as he rests his face into the top of your head.
“Rosemary,” he speaks out loud. He inhales slowly, admiring the sweet scent of the herb used to wash your hair every night. “It suits you so much.”
You feel a flush of warmth coursing through your body in such an intimate position. You have never been this close or tangled with Jimin like this before. There’s faint scars across his chest from what you can see, memories of past battle wounds that cut too deep perhaps.
“Are you hurt?” You question. Wondering how his body never correctly healed these specific marks.
“Not anymore,” he hums as he pulls you in tighter.
You can hear the faint beating of his heart as you twist your head to lay against his chest. It thumps calmly, like a lullaby whispering in your ear.
“Why are you here?” You dare to question.
A heavy thought that’s been weighing on your mind for far too long. You want to thank him for welcoming you into his solitude and keeping you warm throughout the night. Even then, you hardly remember moving from the couch to this bed. Jimin sharing a bed with you doesn’t make any sense to you. Especially how he rests with no clothes on; assumingly you believe as the blankets cover more than your eyes can see.
“Warmth,” he responds. “I had to keep you warm. But I fell asleep.”
“Why are you still here then…?”
Jimin exhales deeply. He still rests as much as he can even with your quizzing questions.
“I’m pretending I’m still dreaming.”
“Dreaming?” You blink.
“Yes.” Jimin’s hand gingerly raises to stroke the side of your head, brushing off any stray locks. His palm is so warm against you, the contact heating you instantly. “A dream. Would you like me to leave?”
“No,” you blurt out faster than you expected. “I just don’t understand,” you try leaning back to look at his face.
“Princess,” he tsks. “How can I explain this?” He questions himself more than you. Jimin places his lips on your forehead and rests them there as he contemplates his words. “A wolf cannot be mixed with a royal. But you desire a wolf. And a wolf desires you.” He hesitates with the next sentence that leaves his mouth. “However, it will never be allowed. And thus… a dream.”
“You dream of this?” You ask, stunned.
“Don’t you?” He huffed a laugh. “I know you do. There are times that I can read it all over your pretty face. I can feel it too.”
“I-I,” you feel flustered. Your feathers fluffed every which way as Jimin speaks so carelessly of such a sensitive subject.
“I know how you feel for me,” he states. “I’m sorry you do. Even when I try to keep you on the right path, show you your responsibilities and guide you to your title's destiny… you found a sanctuary in me.”
Jimin continues to stroke your face with his thumb, his nose breathes out hot air against your forehead. He caresses you tenderly, holds you dear to him as if he is afraid to let you go.
“I’ve… I have always loved you,” you confess. Swallowing thickly as your throat closes up with emotion. Jimin allows you to slide your arms around him again.
“I know. I can feel everything you feel,” he sighs. “Your happiness. Your sadness. That painstaking broken heart every time you’re forced to live your reality.”
He smiles softly against your skin, peppering small kisses where his lips rest.
“I also feel the way you can’t control your emotions. How you constantly battle with what’s right and wrong. How not a single person draws your attention more than I do. I can’t really explain how I can feel these things,” he tilts your head to look down into your eyes. “It won’t make any sense.”
In the soft morning light, his features are more admirable. His skin glows beautifully, like a natural highlight illuminating off of the edges of his face. Jimin cracks open his eyes, only slightly, to peer down at your innocent expression. A face he’s seen for many years after being scolded or pressed for answers. The beauty in his eyes, that crisp amber hue, shifts a shade darker as they land on your parting lips.
“Jimin, I don’t want this to be a dream.”
You’re honest about it. The aura of intimacy is fueling the room so purely, it’s nearly smothering. Jimin allows his walls to break down for you to enter; let’s you in his space even when it goes against everything the two of you know.
His thumb flicks your bottom lip, feeling the soft flesh under his digit. He can feel the natural draw, how his body is aching with a tantalizing need to kiss you. To have you, just for now, before he must go back to reality.
“I’ll do anything for you,” he declares as he looks down at you sadly. “I devoted myself the very first moment I saw you.” His breath shakes as he lets out a breath he was holding.
“Princess,” he begins, the small curve of his lips upturning. He knows this is dangerous, it’s not allowed. Years of pining and rejecting you, fearing the system of the world and the way of life, he’s taking his one and only opportunity to be selfish. A thing you know so very well. Jimin leans down, lips nearly brushing yours, “Please forgive me.”
Your lips press together in a gentle embrace. He pours his unannounced love for you with this kiss; all those years of pent-up, hopeless desires and unfathomable attachment finally burst through with the only way he can show you.
There’s no way of telling how long your kiss lasts; and eternity sounds like an understatement. Your breath hitches in your throat, surprised by the act and realism of Jimin – the man you’ve grown to love throughout all these years – has committed such a sinful, yet delightful, treason for the sake of his own greed. The same act you do not disgust, appall, or dislike. You greet it, after a few moments of shock, with happiness. A passion of feeling what you pined for all this time. Acceptance, understanding, and need.
Jimin’s warm fingers run along the side of your face and down the length of your arm. “Pretend it’s just a dream.” He smiles in between kisses.
A subtle tear breaks the brim of your eye as you capture Jimin in a passionate, breathtaking kiss. You bring him closer, wrapping your arms around his neck and tasting his tongue in your mouth.
When it’s just a dream, you’re allowed to cross the lines of right and wrong. Do the things you want to do, impulsively or not. That’s why you don’t bother to wait when you desperately cling to him, tangling your soft fingers through his messy hair. You feel the way Jimin presses himself into you, not a care of his royal guard status or what your title is. He brings his love out to another being – you.
You feel the gentle pull of his hands at the lining of your padded clothes. There’s so much keeping you bundled, but he’s sure he can keep you warm with his body. His hands roam under the fabrics, feeling the touch of the soft skin of your hip. He skirts his hand up your back, pressing his palm onto you to drag you into him.
“Are you sure?” You question him as if you’re being fooled. Tricked into thinking this truly is a dream and not something you will remember.
“I’ve never wanted something so desperately,” he admits with no embarrassment. “So many times I’ve had to tell you to look away from me. Entertain these other suitors… It hurts. But I know I will always be there for you even if your feelings aren’t as they are now. Even if you didn’t feel for me. I can’t help that. I’m bound to you.”
Your eyes roam the expanse of his body that you can see against the pale sheets of his old mattress. His words send glee to your heart. Had you known this hurts him as much as it hurts you, you would do something about it. Find a way to make something work. There must be a way.
“I’m sorry for being so distant with you in regard to your emotions. But, I do it to protect you. I’m not right for you.” Jimin whispers as his lips reconnect with yours. A carnal desire brewing deep inside of him, no doubt inside of you too.
“Jimin,” you whimper against his mouth. The crack in your voice is threatening to snap.
“Tell me to stop.”
“Don’t,” you sniffle.
Your head is a clutter of sensitive emotions ransacking your brain. Clouding your headspace as if you are in a daydream. But you accept it. Allow this illusion, real or not, to be as real as it can ever get.
You accept him and this moment of time.
The heat of Jimin’s body keeps you warm from the chilled air outside of the sheets. Slowly, he shifts to have you laying on your back as his body crawls over you. Jimin plants soft and wet kisses down your jawline to a sweet spot on the side of your neck, multitasking with the buttons of your thick clothes.
The second he is able to free portions of your body from the garments, his skin slides over yours. Touching every delicately smooth surface of your body. Rising goosebumps through each sway of his fingers across every inch. You melt into his touches, a quiet whimper and pleasant hum escaping your nose.
“You’re so beautiful,” he comments as he levels his head with yours. He takes a moment to peer down at your morning face, admiring the way you look even with a rough night. Jimin remembers your eyes the most. How genuine and curious they are. He reminisces about the first time; when a shot of an electrifying spark penetrated his entire being because of his imprinting nature… how it connected him to you for as long as you live. “I will never lose you.”
Jimin can feel the way your body speaks to him. How together all your nerve endings and atoms feel as if they join like a perfect puzzle. It leads him further to your core, trailing his hand tentatively as he waits for a clear sign for him to continue.
He presses himself gently against you, showing you his growing need for you. The hardened appendage pokes you like a soft tapping on a door, trying to be as polite as possible.
You take his face in your hands, pulling him down for another emotional kiss. You nod to him, giving him the clearing to roam your most secretive bits.
After removing the access clothing from your legs, his fingertips glide up your inner thighs. He shivers when he inhales suddenly, taking in the small whiff of your scent. Instinctively, and almost casually, you bend your knee to allow more access for him.
Jimin’s fingers ghost over your core, brushing against the edges before feeling the slick heat from your lower lips. He teases you at first but not on purpose. Jimin swallows nervously, fighting with his body to remind himself to take things slow.
He takes your bottom lip between his teeth, pulling at the plump piece of flesh as his index finger runs down your slit. You shutter with a breath of hot air blowing out, enjoying the foreign touch.
Unsure what to do with your hands, you begin to run them down his hard chest to mimic the similar style of approach he does on you. Though you’re halted the moment you hit his navel by his hand.
“Allow me to focus on you,” he requests in a soft tone. He raises your knuckles to his mouth where he plants a chaste kiss to them.
He suggests for your hands to remain away as he descends down the valley of your breasts. Each tender kiss he leaves to your feverish skin in the commute to your lower region has you squirming. You hoist the blankets over your body as Jimin disappears underneath them, taking the heat too. He’s able to maneuver skillfully between your legs, slotting himself neatly as you spread them wider.
You don’t get to see the way Jimin licks his lips when his eyes focus on your core for the first time. How your scent hits his nose at full force, reminding him how beautifully wet you’re becoming with the tension built up around you. His finger returns to you, sliding down your slit and nudging against your clit. It causes you to jolt, instinctively closing your legs around him as much as possible. But he keeps them open with his hands and body as he moves closer.
Peeking under the covers, you see the dark hair of Jimin sinking between the junction of your thighs. You capture the scene, branding it in your memory the moment Jimin’s mouth abruptly comes down on to your clit. You cry out, gripping the blankets in hard fists as his tongue languidly flicks over your sensitive bud as his finger teases your entrance.
“Shh,” he tries to tame you when he inserts his finger into you. You clench tightly, shift your legs even more as your body adjusts to Jimin.
He’s wondering what you’ll feel like if he inserts another, if it’ll pull another whimper and a moan from you. And he has to; to spread your entrance wider and stretch your walls open enough to allow him inside. Prepare your body for the intrusive thoughts bleeding into his mind of your body shaking under him with pleasure.
Jimin curls his fingers once he adds a second one into the mix, slowly pumping them in you at a steady pace as his lips caress your clit. The tip of his tongue flicks your bud so dangerously, it makes you cry out even louder and begins to disturb the silent winter morning air.
His free hand comes down to your waist to stop your hips from bucking into him. Jimin releases his mouth from you and calms his fingers as he hushes you once again.
“Quiet, Princess. Please.”
“Jimin, I-I’m-” You pant softly. Your chest shakes with the rise and fall and intense pounding of your heart.
“Don’t be sorry,” he interjects. Jimin slides himself up your body again while still securing his fingers inside your core. “I know it’s hard to not be loud.” He places a kiss to your cheek before finding your mouth, the taste of you still lingering on his plump lips. Gently, he adds a third finger into your entrance and captures your whine with a sealed kiss.
He uses this moment to experimentally widen your walls with the scissoring effect of his fingers. Fighting off the impulsive clench your body naturally does. When his thumb presses into your clit your body jumps.
Your hands rush to his head, combing through his hair as you fight to anchor yourself on something.
Jimin winces from the strength and harsh pull, but he doesn’t let it bother his actions. Instead, he is kissing your neck again as his hand wraps around your back. He lifts you up like it’s easy until you’re straddling his lap, legs still parted wide for him. Jimin removes his fingers from you, allowing him to push you closer against his hardness. The contact makes his neglected member flinch with excitement.
Your cheeks prick with sparks of warmth as you look Jimin in the eyes again. Both completely naked and in each other's own embrace. Your hot slick presses against his shaft and Jimin cannot help but use his hand to push you into him again.
The blankets have fallen around the two of you, leaving Jimin’s strong muscles to hold you upright on top of him and exposed for him and only him.
“You can’t tell anyone…” he begins as his lips lock with yours. “What happens here must stay here.”
“But what if I don’t want that?” You ask, catching your breath in between kisses.
“Want and need are two different things.”
“I want both of those though,” you exclaim. “I want and need you, Jimin.”
He silences you again, but this time with his tongue. He dives deep into your mouth, groaning with the taste of you that excites him.
“Don’t ever speak of this,” he reminds you. “You mean more to me than you can ever imagine. You’re special to me, Y/n. You will always have me.”
Your heart tightens in your chest as you hear his sincere words. Relief is an understatement. The reassurance and verbal notice of Jimin’s confession is enough to send you to cloud nine. His loyalty and dedication to your family's name isn’t the only thing he cares for. The importance of you and how you are something more to him sends your heart into eternal bliss. Maybe all it took is to finally hear it from the source.
“I’ve always loved you,” you declare as if Jimin never knew this himself.
He nods, leaning in to capture another kiss from you as your hands tugs on his shoulders. Your mouths move together so perfectly, reminding you how you want nothing more than to do this for the rest of your life. Lightly, your clit brushes against his hardened and untouched dick. The sensation of how close you are to it sends excitement through your body, arousing you more as you desperately rock against him for more stimulation with his help. Your slick drips along his lap, making the glide easier for you.
You admire the tip of his cockhead pointing up toward you, silently requesting to be touched.
“Help me,” you whisper as your legs try to help raise you above him.
Jimin positions his cock when you’re hovering over him. Your arousal drips teasingly over him, dressing the mushroom head of his tip in a shiny coat. He breathes out a strangled breath as the curse word ‘shit’ runs out of his lips.
Slowly, you drop down on Jimin’s cock. Allowing him to stretch you open as the first inches penetrate you. He holds you up, allows you to sink down at your own pace as both your mouths open with pleasurable surprise. A silent gasp leaves the two of you breathless as you sit flush against him, ignoring any prickling pain as your walls flutter around his cock. Squeezing and unsqueezing rigorously as your head tosses back with eyes screwed shut. Jimin groans with a string of incoherent words, muffled by the way he presses his lips into the side of your neck.
“Oh,” you whimper.
Knees already threatening to buckle and morph into jelly, your hands hold onto Jimin’s sturdy shoulders when you look down between the two of you. There’s fascination running through you as you watch the way your breasts rub against his chest each time your body moves down his; watching the way he disappears inside of you and filling you up.
The two of you moan in unison as you experimentally roll your hips into him. Jimin’s fingers tighten around your thighs, jerking his hips up to meet yours. He keeps a leisurely pace with you as he wishes nothing but to make you feel pleasurable. You can feel the way your orgasm slowly builds within you as you hold Jimin’s head closer against your neck. A desperate way of holding onto something while you begin to tremble with sensitivity.
“Is it too much?” He questions as he holds you impossibly closer to his body.
You breathe deeply, clutching his cock with your walls.
“No,” you choke out. “I need more.”
Jimin pulls you off of him to greet your face with his. He lays you down expertly, letting your body rest soft against the mattress again. Jimin is able to hook his arm around one of your legs and gently lifts it higher, testing the new angle and watching the way your face contorts with pleasure.
You cry out his name as you feel his cock run across a specific spot inside of you, making your toes curl and back arch. The sparks in your body flying like lightning in the sky.
There’s a tightness in your stomach that shoots down to your lower region, alerting you of your approaching orgasm. Jimin notices from the way you shake with each thrust he gives. He holds your legs wide, allowing deeper access to push into you as his abdomen flexes every time his body bangs into yours.
“Like this?” He breaths out, a glimpse of blue shining from his eyes.
“K-keep… Y-yes,” you moan, feeling him hit every mark with this new angle.
Jimin lowers himself down to catch your lips with his, closing your mouth and muffing your noises to the best of his abilities. He absolutely loves hearing the sounds of your whimpers and pleasure, but he’s not trying to allow everyone else to hear them.
Another quick and particular movement of Jimin’s hips has you coming undone beneath him, bucking your hips up to match his thrusts as you squeeze tight around him. You feel the way your nails dig into his shoulders as you shake uncontrollably as Jimin continues to thrust through your orgasm. The sounds of your bodies colliding heightens with squelching noises, your dripping arousal coating his entire pelvis and leaking onto the sheets below.
With a few more sharp thrusts, Jimin pulls out of you and spills his seed onto your stomach. Dressing your smooth skin with strings of milky residue. You catch the ending bit, watching the way his cum spurts out of his cockhead as Jimin presses his pelvis down, using both him and you to squeeze his slick-hardened cock.
Jimin moans with you, still molding your lips together as he holds you close to him. When the two of you calm down from the euphoric sensations, he places his forehead against yours. He looks down at you with soft and serene eyes. Filled with love and adoration. This new sense of energy and vulnerability flows through him.
It’s happiness he shares with you when you both shyly smile at another. Ignoring all the heated labor breathes and dampened hairlines. You get lost in his eyes, wishing that the crisp amber coloring is the solution to all your worries and problems. And in some ways – they are.
“I love you.”
Jimin speaks calmly as he declares his emotions for you. His lips press into yours once more to seal his statement.
You can’t help but look up at him with watery eyes. You want to burst into a full blown cry when you see the way his eyes glisten too, but you don’t. Not wanting to spoil the moment of sincerity for either of you.
“I love you too,” you respond as you brush strands of fringe away from his softening face. It’s almost long enough to tuck behind his ear, which you scowl when you watch the piece fall right back in his face.
You share a soft chuckle with him as he moves slowly, making sure to not spread the mess on your stomach everywhere.
“I’ll clean us up and we can go back to resting for a bit.”
“Okay,” you smile softly. Your hands begin to cover yourself the further Jimin pulls away from your body.
Jimin is quick to find a feasible cloth from the corner of the room and just as fast to return to you on the bed. He wipes you off first, as he should, before cleaning himself. He kneels down on the mattress as you try to subtly admire his entire naked body. Realizing he is still so unfairly beautiful without the suited armor and clothing he usually wears.
“I should have you know, now that you’re awake…” he huffed a laugh. Jimin slides himself under the covers, meeting your body with his. His arm crosses over your torso, hand running down the other side of you until he pulls you close by the waist. “Your family is safe. We defeated the threat last night and your castle will undergo some reconstruction from the damages. But everything is maintained again. I’m sure we will have to return within the day.”
The news makes you happy. The outcome could have been far worse in many ways. But hearing these words from Jimin is comforting. It makes you proud and grateful for him. You aren’t sure what the future will bring. How this dreamy secret must never be spoken about. What this could all mean now. But what you do know, is that he loves you too, and that is enough for now.
Moodboard credit: @/kth1
© 2023 All rights reserved under @kth1 - do not copy, repost, modify, edit, or translate any of my work without my direct consent. This TUMBLR and AO3 are the ONLY places my fics are posted.
#safe haven#kth1fics#bangtansorciere#thebtswritersclub#park jimin#jimin#jimin smut#jimin fic#jimin pwp#jimin oneshot#jimin imagines#jimin drabble#jimin fanfic#jimin x you#jimin au#bts fanfic#btspwp#werewolf jimin#btscreaturescoven
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THE MESS WE LEAVE BEHIND
❈ Pairings: Namjoon x F!reader , Jimin x F!reader
❈ Genre/Au: M (18+);smut;Marriage Au;Namjoon x Jimin best friends! Cheating! Angst.
❈ Synopsis: Falling in love with your husband’s best friend was not at all how you imagined your life to go, and his return has you unraveling under the lies you’ve created to keep your family.
❈ Warnings: smut, dirty talk, thigh riding, foul language, mentions of cheating, fingering, hair pulling, unprotected sex (don't do it), pregnancy, Namjoon is a angel from above, Angst, riding, Y/n is a mess, pet names ( baby) , Angst with no alleviation, spanking, orgasms , mentions of arousal, did i say angst?
❈ Word Count: 8.0 K sumthing brief
❈ Authors Note: I don't know how to feel about this, but I was compelled to write it so bone apple teeth Y'all! btw, i did not proofread this.
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“As for the dog, he’s still riding that log” Namjoon read from the child book in his hand as he brushed his other hand through his daughter's hair. “What a crazy dog” Namjoon chuckled at his daughter but as he looked down, he noticed the now-sleeping child resting peacefully on his chest. He observed closely as his daughter snored softly, a smile rising to his face. Namjoon recalled the first time he had heard he was going to be a father, he remembered how nervous he had been, fear quickly consuming him and filling him with doubt.
He didn’t think himself capable or worthy of ever filling the role of a father but as soon as he saw her little face for the first time, he knew he didn’t want to be anything else but her dad.
Now she was 6 months old, and he couldn’t even understand why he had been so nervous in the first place. She was his entire world, and he was hers. Before her arrival, he looked for meaning in everything, trying to find something missing in himself but now, having his daughter asleep peacefully on his chest, he discovered it was all that he needed.
He carefully laid the book down and proceeded to softly move her into her crib, covering her with a blanket and leaving a sweet kiss on her forehead. He walked towards the door and held onto the light switch, looking at his sleeping child one last time before turning off the lights.
He took a deep breath and walked towards his kitchen, softly humming a lullaby to himself.
“You know, I think I'm going to open a daycare in the museum” he spoke as he stepped inside the kitchen. His wife giggled loudly from where she stood putting away the dishes. “a daycare? In the art museum?” she asked, a laugh pouring out afterward. He chuckled as he reached her, wrapping his arms around her waist from behind and planting a kiss on top of her head.
“I just think it will allow me to see Harumi more” he explains, leaning his chin on Y/n shoulder. He closes his eyes as he breathes in her scent. Finding comfort in the familiar smell of her Coco Channel perfume. “Namjoon, it’ll be hard for her to incorporate herself into her daycare if you keep this up” Y/n whines.
“Fine, but it's not easy for me” he replies, burying his face into the crook of her neck.
“I can't imagine not seeing her chunky cheeks for 8 hours every day” he continues “It’ll be torture!” he chuckles.
“We have to go back to work eventually, Joon” Y/n responds.
“6 months is not enough time” he exhales, looking up at his wife.
“Joon, you are the best curator they have” Y/n voices “I know they have been in shambles since you left.”
“well, what about you? how do you think they have been doing without their top exhibit designer?” he mocks, a mischievous smile forming on his lips.
“oh god, please try to make this easier for me” she groans “If we are both reluctant to return to work, how will we feed her?” she asks, a giggle pouring along with it.
“Fine but I'm talking to the board of directors regarding this family leave thing, it should be way more than 6 months” he pouts whilst Y/n nods in agreement.
He reaches for her glass of wine and takes a gulp. “Hey!” she protests, slapping his arm playfully “That’s my wine.” “What do we say? Sharing is caring Y/n” he says, side-eying his wife. She rolls her eyes and turns on her feet, snatching the glass of wine from his hand.
“How was bedtime today? Did she give you trouble?” she asks, taking a drink from her glass.
“I gave her the dad special” he brags, wiggling his eyebrows which causes another laugh to fall from Y/n’s mouth. “I read her a bedtime story and she was out like a light” he smiles, recalling his daughter sound asleep in her room. Y/n joins his smile and leans into his chest, burying her cheek against it. He moves his arms around her, pushing her into him and swaying side to side.
“You know, I’ll miss this” he comments, looking down at her. She pushes herself slightly and looks up at Namjoon. She doesn’t speak, only admiring the man who towers over her, and she swears she has never felt more loved by someone in her entire life. “Me too” she hums, pushing herself on tiptoes and planting a warm kiss on his full lips.
“But as we promised, despite our busy schedules we will make a habit of coming home before 5 pm and making dinner” she reminds him, pulling away. He gives her his famous dimply smile and leans forward to plant another kiss on her lips.
“Do you think I can take her to the museum?” he insists, and Y/n laughs and shakes her head.
“Absolutely not, last time I let you take her Jin almost kidnapped that poor child” Y/n answers, giving him a disapproving glance. They both join in loud laughter that echoes inside the room. “In his defense, she is very cute,” Namjoon says with a fond look.
Once the laughter subsides, they stand in silence. Namjoon stares into Y/n’s admiring his wife. To this day he tokens himself as the luckiest man alive for being able to call her his, he loses himself in her eyes.
“You know I love you right?” he hums, brushing her hair back and giving her a small peck on her forehead.
Y/n giggles and moves away from Namjoon's embrace, setting her empty wine glass inside the sink.
She leans onto it for a moment, pressing her lips together. She ponders on the question she has wanted to ask for some time now but has been hesitant to. She looks over at her husband and observes as he types away calmly on his phone. “babe” she calls for him, he hums in response, but his attention remains on the screen.
“When will Jimin be back?” she asks, her voice a mere whisper almost as if she doesn’t want him to hear her ask.
He removes his eyes from the screen in front of him and looks over at his wife, a sigh leaves his lips. “Uhm, I'm not too sure really” he answers “He’s been touring all of Europe, he’s in Spain now actually” he notes which makes Y/n nod slowly. She diverts her eyes back to the sink where she has sat her wine glass, and she proceeds to pick it back up.
“More wine?” Namjoon asks, raising his eyebrows in surprise.
Y/n offers him a cheeky smile and goes to grab the half-empty bottle of cabernet.
“Just a bit more” she giggles.
She pours herself another glass and hums when the burgundy liquid touches her lips.
“Alright, I'll head to bed now” Namjoon whispers, laying one more kiss on her wife's lips and disappearing through the door.
It is only when she hears their bedroom closing that she allows herself to unravel in tears. She grips onto the counter, attempting to not collapse on her knees.
It has been like this for months, even before she had Harumi and married Namjoon. She feels like she's walking on needles every day. The burden of the secret that she carries weighs her down, making it impossible for her to enjoy the life she has created for herself. She has wanted to come clean, has wanted to be brave enough to tell someone, anyone about what has been happening to her but she's unable. She isn’t capable of breaking Namjoon's heart.
She’s unwilling to take away from him that he has yearned for all this time.
So, she pretends. She contains all these feelings in her chest, and she carries on with her days as a happy wife and mother all while she collapses inside. She is a good person, an honest person. but somehow, she has found herself in this crippling situation. Withholding the truth from a man who deserves the world, crying herself numb when he leaves the room.
“I'll meet you at the entrance” Namjoon spoke excitedly, almost running through the halls of the museum. “Joon, please relax” Y/n giggles through the phone. “I want to help you with the stroller” he huffs, nearing the lobby of the National Museum of Modern and Contemporary Art. Being the persuasive man he was, Namjoon had been able to secure a daycare ward in the museum, making it possible for all employees to bring their children to work during their shifts.
“I don’t even want to know how you were able to get this done” Y/n speaks whilst Namjoon jogs towards his wife and daughter. He gives her a wide smile and raises his brows. “it's best you don’t know” he replies, reaching for Harumi and pulling her out of the stroller. He carries her in his arms and gives her a soft kiss on her plump cheeks.
“I’ve missed you, Haru” he sings into her little ears.
He looks back at Y/n who struggles with closing the stroller in her hands.
“All alright, come on let's switch” he chuckles, handing Harumi over to Y/n and beginning to close the stroller. “6 months and I still don’t know how that works” Y/n hisses. Namjoon laughs, looking back at his family. “it’s really simple, Yn” Namjoon advises. “Simple for you” Y/n retorts.
They join hands and begin to walk into the halls of the museum. “I have a meeting soon with one of the investors, but I should be done by 3 pm and then we can have lunch together” he informs Y/n. “Joon, I'm not sure I’ll be done by 3 pm, it's my first time walking into the office again” Y/n replies. Namjoon frowns and gives her a quick saddened glance.
“Fine, then I'll have lunch with Harumi” he then smiles, making a silly face at his daughter which causes her to gift him a gummy smile.
“I don’t know what I will do with you two” Y/n laughs.
“What else but love us” Namjoon responds, laying a quick peck on Y/n’s cheek.
“Hey Namjoon Hyung!” a voice calls, Namjoon looks up and his eyes widen.
“No way!” he almost yells. “Brooo you’re back!” he leaves Y/n’s side and jogs up to the man, embracing him in a tight hug.
“How was Spain?” he asks.
Jimin chuckles and nods his head “It was beautiful, I couldn’t get enough” he replies. “I can tell you have been gone for a year, we’ve missed you around here” Namjoon confesses, slapping his friend's shoulder softly.
Whilst engulfed in his conversation, Namjoon doesn’t notice the way Y/n tenses or the way that she tries to direct her eyes elsewhere but at the 2 men catching up in the hallway. She holds onto Harumi tightly, holding her breath. Her daughter coos up at her but she can't focus. instead, her eyes try to find the closest exit.
“Hey Y/n, guess whose back!” Namjoon cheers and she curses under her breath. She turns and her eyes grow panicked as the two men approach her. She wears her best fake smile and attempts to act natural. “I see, welcome back Jimin,” she says halfheartedly.
“Hey Y/n, nice to see you again” he answers. She shuts her eyes for a moment, begging for someone to stop the dumpster fire that’s about to occur. Y/n’s breath becomes labored the closer he gets; his voice sounds soft in contrast with the way Y/n’s heart beats Uncontrollably against her chest. She musters a small smile, blinking uncomfortably.
Jimin smirks, a taunting stare taking over his eyes as he takes her in for the first time in a year. Her skin appears to glisten under the dim lights around them, her cheeks becoming flushed at his sudden appearance. He looks her up and down, noticing the small changes she has gone through since the day he last saw her. This only makes Y/n grow uneasy as she notices the way he is unable to remove his eyes from her.
“Is this?” his eyes widen, noticing the child she holds in her arms. “Yeah bro, Harumi” Namjoon interjects, causing Y/n to jolt in place. “Wow, she’s huge” he rejoices, reaching forward to touch her small hand. “What is she? 6 months now?” he asks, his eyes looking into Y/n’s for confirmation.
She doesn’t say a word as their eyes collide, his stare provoking her to remain completely still. he gives her a smug smile and then looks back at Harumi. “Yes, can you believe it!” Namjoon says proudly from behind him. Jimin nods knowingly and glances back at Namjoon. “she’s gorgeous” he grins, sharing another look with Y/n. “I’m sure she gets it from her mother” he speaks, dragging his words.
“Oh, come on, give me some credit” Namjoon protests. “I'm sure I gave her some of my good genes.”
“Did you now?” Jimin taunts, his eyes remaining locked with Y/n’s.
“w-well, I have to go” Y/n interrupts, taking a step away from Jimin. He lets go of Harumi's hand and stands up straight, another smirk appearing on his lips. He notes the way Y/n nervously adjusts the strap of the baby bag around her shoulder and turns in the other direction.
“See you around!” He calls after her, lifting his hand and waving.
He remains there, even after Namjoon calls out his name. his eyes stay on the spot where Y/n stood only seconds ago holding her child. His smirk falls and he takes a deep breath before turning to face Namjoon again.
“Ready for the meeting?” Namjoon asks, pointing towards the other direction of the hall.
“Ready as I’ll ever be” Jimin responds, moving towards Namjoon.
“fuck” Y/n mutters as she steps into her office, she throws her purse onto one of the empty seats in front of her desk and runs her hands through her hair. “fuck” she repeats as she unbuttons her blouse and falls back onto her chair. She feels like the room is spinning and the suffocating feeling she has grown so accustomed to, returns. This was not the way she had pictured her first day back at all.
She is unraveling and she knows it. she buries her face into her hands and warm tears begin to pour down her cheeks. She doesn’t know what she has done to find herself in this predicament, but she isn’t brave enough to get herself out of it either. She looks back at a picture framed on her wall. It is a shared photograph between Namjoon, Jimin, and herself. They both look down at her with big smiles as she stares into the camera with a smile of her own.
Her eyes narrow as she slips her hand down to her mouth, covering the sobs that escape it.
| a year and 2 months ago |
“If you aren’t quiet, they will hear us” Jimin pants into Y/n’s ear.
But She's deaf to all reason, overcome with her own pleasure as she moves her clothed pussy against his thigh. Her dress has risen above her ass, soft moans pouring like symphonies past her lips. Her cunt pulsates as she continues grinding herself against him, Jimin’s hands travel to the top of her dress which he rips open causing her to hiss.
He skillfully undoes her bra, his eyes admiring her now-exposed breasts in complete awe. He licks up her chest onto her neck as she throws her head back in pleasure. “God, you are gorgeous” he compliments, bringing one of her nipples into his mouth. He laps his tongue over her sensitive nub while his other hand softly rubs against the other.
“Jimin” she pants, the sensation she is feeling is overwhelming, but she has no plans on stopping, the feeling of his hands and tongue alone giving her a high she never wanted to come down from. She feels Jimin’s hand wander down her body, stopping at her hips where he guides her movements.
“You like that baby?” he moaned breathlessly.
She can’t respond, small whimpers erupting from her mouth whilst she remains in complete euphoria. “You like the way it feels when you rub your hot wet cunt against my thigh, baby?” he purrs, earning another loud moan from Y/n. he smirks, his eyes focusing on her hooded eyes and plump lips. “You want more?” he hums, moving her hips a bit faster against him.
Jimin’s cock pulsates painfully against his pants, begging to be released. He moves forward, trying to find quick relief from the agony of the restraint. He wants to turn her out, to have her screaming his name repeatedly. it is all that he has ever wanted and having her here, dampening his pants as she fucks herself on his leg feels like a complete dream, he just wants to savor this exact moment. He wants to engrave this so deep into his memory that he is never capable of forgetting it.
Y/n slides her hand down to the front of his pants, getting hold of his hardened cock. She glides her hand smoothly, feeling his throbbing head through the fabric. Jimin moans loudly, gripping her waist tighter.
“shhhh” she mutters into his ear, planting a wet kiss below it.
He can feel her quicken her movements, seeking out her release. He captures her mouth into his, his tongue intruding past her lips and dancing against her tongue. His hand moves down to her ass, gripping her skin there.
“Nice and slow baby, I want to see you cum all over my lap” he breathes, pulling away from their kiss. Her scent brings out a certain animalistic surge from him as he watches her eagerness to satisfy herself. “Look at you leave all your juices on my pants, you naughty girl” he chuckles lowly.
“Jimin” she responds, her voice a mere whisper. She’s unable to concentrate as his words bring her closer to her orgasm, her hand moving up and down against his hardened member. His pants are drenched in her arousal, but Jimin adores it, he can't get enough of watching her and he can swear that this is his purpose, that he was brought onto this earth for this exact moment.
“You want to ride me, baby?” He hums, his hand holding onto her face which he brings closer to his, his other hand pushes back loose strands of her hair that have stuck themselves to the sweat forming on her forehead. She nods, eagerly. “Look at me” he commands. She breathes out, her mouth agape. She struggles to keep her eyes open as they look into Jimin’s in complete pleasure.
“Yeah, you want to ride me?” he asks again.
“I wanna ride you, Jimin” Y/n answers, whimpering as he lifts the leg which she straddles.
“How bad do you want it?” he purrs, his thumb pressing against her lips.
She takes his digit into her mouth and sucks, which causes Jimin to whimper painfully.
“Real bad” she moans out.
“Fuck, you look beautiful like this” he notes, his eyes narrowing on her. “I want to fuck you” he groans.
“Fuck me, Jimin” she begs and he almost cums from those words alone. Her voice is soft and raspy and it's enough to disconnect Jimin from all rationality. she’s unable to catch her breath, her hips buckling down on his thigh as his hands come down to grip her ass harshly.
“Fuck, I’ve wanted to see you like this for so long” he confesses, his eyes devouring her state. The way her breasts bounce with every one of her movements, her flushed cheeks, and clammy skin which glistens under the lamp above them.
“How long?” she asks, mustering a smirk on her lips.
“Since the day I met you,” he groans, going back to guide her hips against his lap.
“Steady baby, I'm not in a rush” he hums which brings her to slow down her movements. She feels her panties sticking to her soaking cunt, her hips rotating leisurely. He wanders his hand behind her head and takes a fist full of her hair, pulling back with little force.
He kisses down her throat and continues down to her breasts, he licks along them. giving each of her nipples his undivided attention.
“I'm Cumming, Jimin” she blurts, urgency in her voice.
“Are you?” he asks, teasing her.
“Y-yes” she whines.
“Hold it, baby, I want you to cum on my cock instead” he instructs her whilst pulling her off his thigh. She hisses at the absence of pressure between her legs but allows him to lead her. He remains in his seat, her wet-clothed pussy in front of his face now. She looks down at him, her mouth agape in anticipation of what he will do next.
He can feel his dick quivering as he takes in how engorged she had become. “Look at you baby, you’re drenched” Jimin announces. He runs his fingers against her clit, causing her to jolt towards his touch. He takes the digits away and puts them in his mouth, where he licks her arousal away.
He unbuckles his pants and pulls them down to his knees, Y/n drools at the sight of the imprint of his dick against his underwear. His cock appears painfully constricted and the tip oozes pre-cum which leaves a wet spot against the fabric.
“Come on, baby” he reaches for her waist, bringing her closer. “Be a good girl and come sit on my lap.”
Y/n does as told, lying face down over his lap, her ass in the air.
His hands rub softly against her ass cheeks, the motion causing her legs to squish together, giving friction to her pulsating cunt. She moans loudly, her hands holding onto his leg. Jimin dips his fingers in between her folds, moving them against her cunt. She can feel the blood flowing to her head. The combination of that and his touch, causing her to grow dizzy.
“Do you hear how wet you are for me?” he groans, the sound of her juices lathering his fingers echoing inside the small room. He inserts his pointer and index finger inside her and moans at how warm it feels.
He holds a quick pace, moving his fingers in and out and her pussy begins to cream over his fingers. Y/n yelps, unable to contain the burning feeling in the pit of her stomach. He can feel her wetness dripping onto his bare leg now, the scene in front of him enough for him to nut in that very moment but he holds himself together. He’s more than determined to cum into her pretty pussy and that’s exactly what he will do.
“Oh Jimin” she purrs, closing her eyes in pleasure.
“Wish it was my cock, right?” he asks, his free hand coming down hard against her left ass cheek, leaving a red imprint on the skin there.
“All you have to do is ask,” he says, his fingers moving at a slower pace now.
“Please Jimin” Y/n cries out.
“Please what beautiful?” he teases, licking his lips in admiration.
“Please fuck me Jimin” she begs.
“That sounds delicious coming from your mouth” Jimin coos, his dick continues to twitch against his underwear, and he can't hold out anymore. He wants to fuck her senseless, have her screaming his name at the top of her lungs.
“Come here” he mumbles, removing his fingers from her dripping cunt and guiding her off his lap. He notices how her legs shake while she refrains herself from Cumming. She's such a good girl for him and he wants to reward her.
He removes his boxers and his cock springs out, resting rock solid against his lower abdomen. She straddles him, bringing the head of his cock between her folds, her juices wetting the tip of his dick. He throws his head back in complete rapture. “Oh fuck, fuckk” he groans out. He can feel the heat emitting from her cunt and her arousal leaking down the rest of his shaft.
She moves her hips skillfully, rubbing herself against him. his hands fall onto her waist and his lips search for hers, moaning into her mouth as he slips inside of her smoothly. Her warm and sleek walls push him over the edge as he begins to pound up into her whilst she grinds down onto him.
“Just like that baby” he moans loudly “Just like that, don’t stop” Jimin voices, cheering her on. “Fuck It feels so good” he continues. He closes his eyes shut and hisses fall from his lips. Y/n feels so good, so tight and warm against his palpitating cock. He had been right all along, from the moment he laid eyes on her, he knew she would rock his world and oh, how good was she doing it.
Her tight walls gripped his cock masterfully, his mouth falling open and his brows pushing together as he becomes immersed in complete lust. He never wanted to leave, never wanted to pull out. Soon the sound of their skin slapping together filled the room along with their whimpers and moans that created a melody he never wanted to stop hearing.
He buried his face into her chest, unable to withhold himself from fucking into her hard and fast. Their sweat-clad bodies moving in unison, Y/n embraces him as he rests his hands on her back.
“You feel so good, Jimin” Y/n yelps, his thick cock pushing against her walls. Jimin bites down on his lip, pounding into her uncontrollably. “Fuck uh,” he groans, losing himself in the sensation. He doesn’t care how loud they are or who is listening from the other side of the door. All he cares about is how good her hair smells and about the way she grips his shoulders as she fucks herself on his dick. The sound of her soft moans and the feel of her clammy skin against his becoming his favorite things.
He continues to drill into her, her small whimpers turning into full-blown screams, and he smiles in satisfaction, knowing that he’s the one causing them. Y/n’s legs ache at the tempo, almost collapsing against him. She buries her nails into the skin of his shoulders.
“Jimin, oh Jimin I can’t” she calls out like a prayer.
“Take It, baby, don’t stop now, take all this dick” Jimin growls. his hands gripping onto her waist tightly, Keeping her still as he moves his cock up into her dripping core. He can feel the familiar tingling in the pit of his stomach and he knows he's going to cum soon but that only makes him pick up his pace. He looks up at Y/n, her eyes shut as she throws her head back.
“Jimin, shit I can’t” she yelps, moments later he feels her walls contract around him, and her body spasms as she becomes undone on his dick. Her vision blurs and there's a faint ringing in her ears, her mouth falling open as her orgasm blocks all her senses.
“so fucking sexy” he moans out, admiring how vulnerable she looks under the dimmed light.
His movements begin to falter, unable to hold back anymore. Her walls are still tight around him, urging him to cum into her throbbing cunt. His breath becomes uneven, and he digs his fingers into the skin of her thighs around him trying to keep some of his control but it's too late, he thrusts into her one last time before hot strings of cum shoot into her. Y/n moans at the feeling of his milk filling her up and her legs tremble as both their orgasms leak down her inner thighs.
There's silence as they both struggle to catch their breaths; she looks down at him and it is only then that realization hits her. Her lips tremble and she begins to move away, trying to cover herself with what remains of her torn dress.
Jimin sits up quickly, watching her closely.
“Hey Y/n” he calls out to her softly.
She turns away from him, warm tears pouring down her cheeks.
“What have we done, Jimin” she cries.
Y/n would be lying if she said it was the last time that it happened, that she didn’t become a skilled liar in order to receive the pleasure only Jimin was able to bring to her. She would kiss her boyfriend goodbye under the pretense of work meetings, girl night outs, and a busy schedule all whilst sneaking away to any dark corner available with his best friend. It was wrong and she knew it but that didn’t matter, the only thing that mattered was the way Jimin made her shudder under his touch. He knew her body like it was the back of his hand, and she was addicted.
Now she was condemned to carry this guilt everywhere. The better Namjoon treated her, the heavier it became. She wasn’t capable of ruining what she had built, even if the foundation was shaky. She had a home and a family, and she was happy.
But Jimin’s return threatened it all, threatened everything she had, and she wasn’t too proud to admit that it scared her.
Perhaps, the pleasure she sought was never worth the pain it would cause.
There’s a light knock on her door which causes Y/n to quickly wipe her tears away, she runs her hands through her hair, and buttons up the blouse she wears. “Come in” she instructs, attempting to gather herself before the door opens.
But once it does and she sees who is stepping through it, Y/n regrets the words that have just left her lips. Her heart drops to her gut and she stares wide-eyed as Jimin closes the door behind him.
“Hey,” he says calmly.
Y/n shuts her eyes, throwing her head back in frustration.
“Listen, Jimin I don’t have time right now” she utters, rubbing her temples in an attempt to ease the pounding headache she now has. He blinks, narrowing his eyes as he takes in her disarranged appearance.
“Are you okay?” he asks, quickly moving towards her desk.
She removes her hands against her temple and holds them up in the air.
“don’t, I'm fine” she mumbles.
“you don’t look fine to me” he states. Y/n lifts her head and looks over at him, her gaze holding a certain enmity. “why did you even come here?” her lips tremble as she asks, her eyes filling with tears that she blinks away, aiming to appear okay. “I wanted to come see you, to check up on you” he answers, stuffing his hands in his pockets.
“no” she replies, closing her eyes for a moment and then opening them just as fast. “why did you come back here, why didn’t you stay in Europe” she clarifies. He lowers his gaze and steps away from her desk. “I had to return Y/n, my entire life is here” he answers.
She admits it's true, she knows that his return was inevitable but to say she was prepared for it would be a joke. She thought she would have more time to get her affairs in order or to at least grow some balls and own up to the things she had done.
Namjoon loved her and of that she was sure, but he didn’t know her, not all of her at least.
“I didn’t come here to cause you any trouble, Y/n” Jimin assures her, holding her gaze. He feels his heart ache whilst noticing the way she has become undone in the time he has been gone. If perhaps he hadn’t run like a coward, leaving her to carry their secrets all on her own, she would be less subdued.
But hearing her say she wasn’t able to continue with their affair a year ago had proven to be too much for him to bear because even if he couldn’t tell her he loved her, at least he was giving her a bit of himself in those sheets. Being told he could no longer have access to her, that he couldn’t hold her like he only ever yearned to, well it had hurt him beyond comprehension.
“I can’t do this anymore, Jimin” she sobbed, covering her face in shame. “But I can’t bring myself to tell him the truth either.”
He wanted to reach over and console her, but he doubted that it was something she wanted. she had made that very clear the day before he had booked the first ticket out of South Korea.
“Jimin, we need to stop, I can’t see you anymore” she sobbed. “What we are doing, it's fucked up.”
The memory of that conversation replayed in Jimin’s mind as he stood in silence. It tormented him in the night when he tried to sleep. Pain and guilt tearing him to pieces. He didn’t know what was more fucked up, the fact that he betrayed the man that was like a brother to him or the fact that he never felt bad for it. in his mind, she was worth that and much more. for her, he was willing to betray even himself.
“Which truths are you hesitant to tell?” he asks.
Y/n uncovers her face, her glassy red eyes staring back at him with confusion.
“What do you mean?” she sniffs, rapidly cleaning her tears with the sleeve of her blouse.
“Well, which truth can’t you tell him” He repeats.
“That you and his best friend went behind his back and had sex for an entire 3 months or that Harumi is my daughter?” He leans his head to the side, tears streaming down his cheeks now.
“Because both truths are going to destroy his life” he states, a sob escaping his lips.
Y/n is at a loss for words, her throat becoming dry. She can only stare at him whilst growing mortified. Indeed, she had become a professional at harboring secrets. Once she had begun lying to Namjoon, the lies quickly began piling up, leading her to a point of no return.
“H-how did you know?” she musters to say, her eyes widened in panic. He looks away, his eyes falling on the framed picture of Y/n and Namjoon on their wedding day. “She has my eyes” he whispers.
Y/n follows his eyes, her chest tightens at the image on the wall and more sobs escape her. she’s unable to contain herself and she knows she’s fucked up. She never meant for this to happen. She was happy with Namjoon until one day she just wasn’t and Jimin was there, to help her with all her grievances.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, he’s in agony and Y/n can see that. She remains motionless as the truth begins to unravel in front of her eyes. She feels relief and immense pain all at the same time, so she stays silent, conflicted with her emotions.
“I’ve missed so much” he states. He reaches over to her desk and picks up a picture of Harumi. He admires his child, tracing his fingers over her gummy smile. The woman who sits in front of him has taken something from him, has hidden the most precious thing away. Yet, he can’t bring himself to hate her. instead, he understands. From within his anger and resentment, he digs out his compassion.
“He’s a good dad, Jimin” she cries out. He lifts his stare towards her, sorrow flashing through his eyes.
“I could’ve been a good father too, Y/n” he affirms.
“I know Jimin, I'm sorry” she weeps, she stands up from her chair and approaches him but Jimin backs away, holding the picture of his daughter to his chest. “Please Jimin, I just couldn’t just throw away everything that I had” Y/n attempted to justify.
“you left and I-“she began. “No!” Jimin shouts “No you pushed me away!” he shakes his head, frustration seeping through his mind.
“What we were doing was wrong and I had to put an end to it” she yells back. “Please, try to understand” Y/n tries to catch her breath as the sobs that rip through her leave her shaking in anguish.
“How wrong could it have been when this came out of it?” he asks, holding up the picture of Harumi. Y/n stares at it, her lips pressing together. He leans in closer to her, his hand lifting her chin so that her eyes could meet his.
“How could it have been wrong when we loved each other?” he asks, pressing his forehead against hers.
“Jimin, he's your best friend” she whimpers, closing her eyes in an attempt to ignore the pain that she sees in his eyes which only causes her further torment.
“Either you tell him, or I will, but I'm not missing out on my daughter’s life on account of your happiness” he whispers, he leans back and leaves the room, taking the picture of his daughter with him.
Y/n collapses onto the floor, becoming a heaving mess. “I'm a good person” she bawls onto the floor as she holds onto her aching chest “I'm a good person” she repeats to herself.
Yn drags her feet across her front door, shutting the door quietly as she enters. She drops her work bag on the floor and slips her heels off. She’s met with the sweet aroma of baby lotion and baby wipes, and for the first time since the day began, she smiles. She glances over to her living room, taking in the TV that plays Harumi’s favorite show and her teething toys that are sprawled around the couches. She lingers on the pictures that hang on the wall; she can’t help but admire her happy family as tears begin to sting her eyes.
She takes a moment to look around, to try to engrave this sight into her mind because soon she will be destroying all of it. her heart pulls while she watches Namjoon appear from the hallway, holding her daughter in his arms. “Long day, my love?” he asks, approaching her with a full smile. She hums unable to form any words at all.
The knot that forms in her throat is painful and as she swallows, she realizes it doesn’t budge.
“Uff, yeah very long day” Namjoon jokes taking in her glassy eyes and messy hair. He embraces her with one arm, holding Harumi with the other. “Have you been drinking?” he chuckles. She nods absent-mindedly looking up at the man of her dreams. “Yes, the girls wanted to go out and celebrate my return” she lies again. Namjoon smiles “Good, it’s been a while since you went out with your colleagues for a few drinks,” he says, kissing the top of her head.
Her chest aches at his words, bringing back the memories of the lies she had spoken to him in the past. she is reminded that she could live a thousand lives and she would still never deserve a man like Namjoon.
“You think you can put Harumi down for a bit? We need to talk” she sighs, unable to withhold much longer. He furrows his brows in concern, noticing how Y/n shifts in place.
“y-yeah sure, babe” he walks towards the living room and sits Harumi in her booster seat, passing her one of her toys. He groans as he stands up and approaches his wife.
“Can you give me a massage after this?” he requests, rubbing his back.
Y/n looks up at her husband and nods slowly, sure that after the conversation they will have he will want her to be as far away from him as possible. They walk together into the kitchen and Namjoon notices the uneasiness that pours from Y/n’s aura. He frowns, worried that something bad has happened.
“Okay my love, what’s going on I'm getting a bit worried here” he warns, following behind her as she stops in front of their dining room. She turns to face him, and tears are already pouring down her cheeks. Namjoon panics, taken aback by the sight before him.
“Hey, hey what’s wrong?” He scans her face and reaches forward to try to hold her, but Y/n holds up her hand which stops his movement.
“Please, just let me speak” She shakes in place, her mind wanders endlessly on how to approach the truth, she tries to find a way in which she can break his heart painlessly, but she knows it's impossible. Once she delivers him the truth, she knows everything will be over, but reflecting on the ultimatum Jimin offered her a few days ago, she can't let him find out through anyone else.
“I uhm I’ve been lying to you” she mutters which only gains her a puzzled look from her husband. He takes a step towards her, wanting to stop her tears. Namjoon has never liked to see her cry and seeing her like this only brings him discomfort.
“What are you talking about, Y/n” he tries to reach for her once again but Y/n steps back, shaking her head. “Please, Namjoon” she implores, trying to distance herself from the man she knows loves her.
“Please let me just explain” she continues, he nods but his heart aches. He wants to bring her into his chest and whisper words he knows will soothe her. He has never seen her like this before, she has always been happy by his side and in this moment all he wants to do is protect her.
“About a year and a half ago while you were away in France, Jimin and I met up in my old apartment” Y/n swallows as she looks at her husband, Namjoon nods still holding a puzzled expression. “Initially it was just to hang out because we both missed you and we thought that since we were both alone then it would be okay for us to keep each other company.”
“Okay babe, there's nothing wrong with that,” Namjoon says, a smile appearing on his lips. “you guys can be friends too, I trust you” he continues, taking a step closer towards Y/n. She shakes her head and looks down; she can feel Namjoon’s arms wrap around her.
“Why are you crying, Y/n?” he asks, reaching for her face which he brings up to look at. His brows are furrowed, and he doesn’t understand why she's making such a huge deal out of something so small. He knows his wife and he knows her heart.
“Jimin and I slept together” she trembles, pushing back on his chest.
Namjoon leans his head to the side in confusion, he blinks looking down at her, but his arms stay around her, unable to move from where he stands.
“And not just that night, we slept together for 3 whole months” she continues to confess.
“Y/n,” he says, his voice beginning to grow shaky.
“And Harumi” she begins but cuts herself off as the knot in her throat begins to choke her. She feels the room spin around her and she is trying to hold herself together but she's shaking, and her heart is pounding painfully in her chest.
“And Harumi isn’t my daughter” he finishes her sentence, looking down at her with such compassion that she feels like throwing up. She stares up at him wide-eyed, unable to register the words that he has just spoken. “I know” he whispers, nodding his head. “I've always known” he finishes, he reaches for her cheeks, wiping the tears that slip down them and he presses a kiss on her forehead.
Y/n is shocked, blinking quickly as she comes to terms with what he means, she leans back staring at him in complete disbelief. “w-what?” she asks, he holds no reaction or hatred in his eyes as he looks at her and that only makes her guilt grow. “What do you mean?” She studies him, unable to understand why he isn’t shouting or berating her.
“From the moment I saw her I knew she wasn’t mine, Y/n,” he says, his tone calm and he stares at her in complete adoration. “But I love you and I love Harumi and I wanted this to work,” Namjoon says.
“Why would you do something like that, Joon” she hisses. She shoves him away and steps back, distaste in her expression.
“I don’t care that she's not mine, I've raised her” he answers, attempting to hold onto Y/n again but she pushes his hands away as tears continue to flow past her cheeks. “I’ve been holding this secret for so long Namjoon” she sobs “And you’ve known this entire time?” she asks, fury burning through her at the revelation.
“Since when do you know? Since when!” she shouts. Namjoon flinches and his eyes fill up with tears. If she has been harboring this secret, then he has been harboring some of his own. The moment he laid eyes on the child he knew that she didn’t belong to him but he had to make this work, he wasn’t going to lose the love of his life, he’d rather die than let that happen.
“I didn’t know Jimin was the father” he tries to step to her but Y/n moves, the expression on her face only breaking his heart further. “But I was sure I wasn’t” he contemplates, recalling the day he first held Harumi in his arms.
“let's just forget about all of this please” he begs, and he begins to cry. He is desperate and he just wants this conversation to end, He is reluctant to admit that their relationship might be coming to an end, he can't imagine a life where Y/n isn’t by his side and that breaks his heart more than any truth she has concealed from him.
“No, I'm tired of not facing reality” she responds “Of hiding so many things, Jimin and I are to be held accountable” she continues to shout. “Why? Because you think that will help you feel less guilty for what you’ve done?” he asks.
Y/n goes silent, she now notices the tears that spill down his face. She looks away, unable to hold his gaze because he’s right, the fact that he knew all this time was not the problem. She needed him to be angry so that in some way she could feel better about all of this.
“I forgave you a long time ago, Y/n” he whispers.
“I don’t want you to forgive me Namjoon,” she says “I want you to be angry, to be resentful” because only then could she stop feeling so fucked up, only then can she free herself of the fact that she fucked over a good person. A person who even now can keep empathy in his heart, one that she never had whilst she slept with his best friend.
Namjoon was being merciful, and she couldn’t bring herself to understand why.
“I can’t be angry at you Y/n, not when I love you and if forgiving you means that I get to keep my family then that’s exactly what I will do” Namjoon fights back but he doesn’t realize that there’s nothing left for him to grasp.
“I'm in love with Jimin,” she says, and it is only then that his composure falters. He sighs and looks away.
“No, you don’t” he declares, his eyes hold anger, but he is unable to direct them at her.
“don’t say that” he continues, he feels his heart shatter and the truth finally consumes him. He can’t admit to himself that the woman who stands destroyed in front of him will never be his. That even whilst she lay on his bed every night, her heart belonged to someone else.
“Joon, I'm sorry” Y/n voices, he glances back at her, and Y/n lets out a sob. She’s aware of the way she has broken down the man whose only intention was to love her, and she feels herself crumble under the culpability of the mess she has made.
“I know” he mutters.
-
should i turn this into 2 parts? please let me know
i might just leave it like that
hope you guys enjoyedd!
© 𝐂𝐫𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞, 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.
#jimin x reader#jimin angst#jimin smut#jimin au#park jimin#jimin bts#jimin fic#namjoon x re#namjoon angst#namjoon smut#namjoon series#namjoon fic#kim namjoon#bts angst#bts smut#bts au fanfic#bts x reader
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apparently y/n's really good with toddlers and jimin thinks it's adorable
➺ pairing; balletteacher!jimin x ballerina!y/n
➺ genre; alright balletteacher!jimin stans since the last update was.,,. uh,., anyway here’s some pre-breakupfluff!! actually idk if this is going to make u guys more sad knowing how that last drabble ended but this one is super cute so at least you have that <3 i’m FINALLY appeasing u with balletteacher!jimin content
➺ wordcount; 2.3k
➺ summary; all the teeny ballerinas seem to gravitate towards y/n for some reason and it’s taking everything within jimin to not spend the entire class just watching her fondly.
➺ what to expect; “oops, i dropt my swipper again.”
»»————- 🧸 ————-««
when jimin first got the email from saying that he had to take over the toddler’s ballet class for a day because the teacher for that class called in sick at the very last minute and he was the only one whose schedule lined up perfectly with the toddler’s class, needless to say, he wasn’t very happy
it’s not that he hates children or anything horrible like that (he really doesn’t understand people who say that they hate children) — don’t get him wrong, he loves when random babies wave at him on the street and he’ll even go as far as to make a face at them if their parents aren’t watching — it’s just that he’s literally never taught a toddler ballet class before so he doesn’t even know where to start… and he also doesn’t know how far he can push them before he’s being accused of being a horrible, mean teacher
though it would be fairly impressive on his end if they were able to do grand jetés by the end of class
“i’m so happy we get to play with toddlers all day!” lisa squeals, plopping herself down next to you as you continue your morning stretches in front of the mirror, “aren’t you excited??”
“i think it’ll be fun!” you smile, nodding in agreement before shrugging, “i’m a little nervous because i literally have never interacted with a child other than my little cousins, and they’re like eight to nine years old now, so i’m out of practice…”
“it’s okay, y/n,” you feel a harsh pat on your shoulder and you look up to see seulgi smiling sweetly at you, “not all of us can be good at everything. you keep the class humble.”
“very funny, seulgi.” you grumble, rolling your eyes before turning to look back at lisa, “i’m just glad we kinda get a day off because we have to help mr. park teach the toddlers. i don’t know about you but i am not in the mood to do any pirouettes this morning.” you huff, adjusting your leg warmers before checking out your reflection in the mirror to make sure you look okay
you also feel a little groggy because you didn’t get much sleep last night
you spent the night at jimin’s and then he drove you back to your place early (because lisa texted and said she’d come over in the morning to have breakfast with you before the two of you zipped over to the studio so you had to go home otherwise she’d be wondering where the hell else you’d be)
“do you think i should’ve worn the sheep-patterned leg warmers instead? i feel like toddlers would be more receptive to sheeps-“ for some reason you feel like you’re trying to impress the toddlers even though they probably don’t even know what leg warmers are and even if they did they couldn’t care less about them
you were going to wear your sweatpants but you got a new pair of leg warmers and you wanted to show them off (they’re baby pink with little black bows on the back of them), so you decided to pair them with your black leotard, a matching black wrap cardigan, and your stockings of course
“ah, i just love kids,” lisa sighs, getting up from the ground as you get up as well before looping her arm with yours, “and i don’t know about you, but seeing mr. park interact with kids is also something that i’m very much looking forward to.”
you feel a wide grin growing on your face at the reminder that yes, you’re finally going to see jimin interacting with cute little kids and you remind yourself to keep it cool
you and jimin only started dating a few weeks ago and you don’t want to scare him off by getting all baby crazy
you don’t even know if jimin wants kids
…
does he want kids?
and if he does, would he want to have them with you? because you certainly wouldn’t mind carrying his beautiful children and-
“oh my god, they’re so cute!”
the room erupts into high pitched coos and squeals when the toddlers, well, toddle into the room, all of them dressed in matching baby pink cardigans and leotards and chiffon skirts with stockings on their little legs and neat little slicked back buns on their little heads and it doesn’t take long for you to fall in love with all of them because oh my god they’re so cute and you just want to eat their chubby little cheekies and gobble them up and rRRaAWOOF-
“ladies, here are our little guests for the day,” jimin laughs lightly, shutting the door behind him quietly as he gently nudges the little ones towards the group like a herd of little baby sheep, “there are twenty-four of them and twelve of you, so if you could each take two for the day, that would be wonderful- oh!” jimin pauses when he accidentally bumps into one of the girls and he reaches down to pat her head, “sorry honey, mr. park is a little clumsy today and you’re just so small-“
“oh god, i can’t take it-“ lisa groans quietly, holding a hand over her mouth as she muffles a squeal and starts to bounce on the balls of her feet excitedly, “i can’t take it i can’t take it i can’t take it that is so stinking cute-“
“what are we supposed to do, do we just grab two random ones and go?” seulgi asks with a frown and you can’t help but snort because that is such a seulgi thing to ask
“don’t grab two of them and go, this isn’t a drive through-“ you chuckle, watching as the other girls disperse into the crowd of teeny ballereenies to collect their two for the day, “you just have to go and see which ones vibe with you, i think. which might be hard for you.”
“what’s that supposed to mean?”
“well, all children know that they need to stay away from the wicked witch of the west- OW-“ you yelp when seulgi delivers a hard punch to your arm before taking off
it’s only in that moment you notice one of the little girls in the back, wide-eyed and holding onto both her slippers, looking as lost as ever
she stumbles forward as the other girls start shuffling forwards slightly, all the toddlers clearly a little intimidated by all of you
you make your way over to her and she immediately looks up at you, her lips parting slightly
“hi! do you need some help with your slippers?” you crouch down so that you’re eye-level with her and she nods shyly before averting her gaze, “okay, i can help you. i’m y/n. what’s your name?” you stand back up before holding your hand out for her and she wraps her hand around two of your fingers, trailing behind you as you lead her to a free corner in the room
“mia.”
“mia’s a very pretty name,” you smile, looking down at her (from your angle, you can see her little cheeks protruding out slightly and it’s just so cute)
“i dropt my swipper.” mia suddenly stops in her tracks and you stop as well, letting her bend down to pick up her slipper only for the other one to fall onto the ground, “oops, i dropt my swipper again.”
you and lisa make eye contact from across the room and she pushes her bottom lip out in a pout before scrunching her face and putting a hand over her chest and you make the same expression in return to tell her that oh my god, i know, right?!
“alright, miss mia, do you wanna sit down for me?” you hum, sitting down cross-legged before patting your lap, “it’ll be easier for me to put your slippers on if you’re sitting.”
mia nods before plopping herself down on your lap and you nearly let out a coo when you notice how teeny weeny her slippers are
they’re just so cute! and they’re basically the size of your hand!!!!!!
“how old are you, mia?” you ask, taking her slippers from her before lifting one of her chubby little legs up so you can put a slipper on
“thwee.” she holds four fingers up and you giggle, reaching over to put one of them down for her, “i’m thwee.” she kicks her legs slightly, sticking the one with the slipper up into the air before wiggling her toes
»»————- 🧸 ————-««
jimin smiles to himself as he looks around the room, feeling weirdly proud at how well all of you are looking after the little ones even though his teaching has nothing to do with how good you guys are with kids
he started the class off with a few warm-up exercises and was very impressed at how well the little girls followed his lead (to be honest he’s already picked out the ones that would survive in his class when they’re older, and it’s definitely not the one that started twirling around in ditzy, uncoordinated circles when he asked everyone to get into third position), and it’s only been about twenty minutes but according to the schedule given to him, they take ten minute breaks every twenty minutes which seems a little too lax for his liking, but then again — he’s not a teacher for toddlers, so who is he to say what’s right and what’s wrong?
and he has to admit that it was hard to not watch you the entire time you were guiding your girls and showing them how to do everything properly (“demi-plie, mia! keep your back straight just like me…”)
at first he was going to tell you off because you were kneeled on the ground while he was teaching up front but then he realized you were only doing it so you could help the little ones with positioning their feet, and not to mention, you weren’t just helping your own two ballereenies, you were helping whichever ones were around you which was just… so nice to see
and perhaps the others will suspect him of favouritism because he’s pretty sure lisa caught him staring fondly at you at one point but it’s not like anyone would ever confront him about it so he’s really not too worried
“and at home, i- i do- um, i do, um, dance evewywhere and my favouwite- favouwite song is wet it go from fwozen because anna and elsa-“
“speaking of let it go- emma, you better let go of my bun before you yank my hair off my head!”
jimin’s ears perk up in interest when he hears your voice among the many voices and squeals and giggles in the room and he turns around, eyes scanning the room until he finally lands on you to see you surrounded by six of the baby ballerinas
you’ve got one of them sitting on your lap with her hand buried in a pack of animal crackers (none of them brought snacks with them so he’s assuming those came from you), one of them with their arms slung over you from behind and her cheek pressed to your shoulder, three of them sitting cross-legged around you, and the last one prancing around you chatting away excitedly
you wrap your arm securely around the one sitting on your lap, reaching down to smooth some of her hair back before leaning over a little to look at her and ask if she’s alright, and she nods in response before holding a cracker up for you to take
jimin feels his heart skip a beat at the adorable sight because he was certainly not aware of how good you are with children
he can’t help but chuckle when he notices you showing off your leg warmers off
so cute
so, so cute
his eyes widen when you look up and immediately lock gazes with him only for you to wave at him shyly before returning your attention to the girls after jimin returns a smile and a wave of his own
you and y/n would make a really cute baby, the intrusive voice in his head tells him as his arm drops back to his side, and jimin finds his cheeks flushing slightly at the thought of a teeny little y/n trailing behind him like a little duckling
he could dress her up in her ballet clothes and put bows in her hair and train her to become the best ballerina the world has ever seen and she’d have your hair and eyes and his nose and mouth and she’d be so sweet and kind like you but strong and tenacious like him
and not to sound like a hormonal boy or anything but the process of baby-making seems like it’d be very fun
…
…
…
“mr. park, y/n’s stealing all the kids!” jimin looks over when he hears seulgi whining and he resists the urge to snort at how huffy she’s being, “i took two of them like you told us to but all of them are like, gravitating towards y/n for some reason-“
“well, i guess there’s just something about y/n that they like, seulgi.” jimin responds with a shrug, keeping his eyes glued on you with a fond smile twitching at the corner of his mouth
🎙️ ask y/n where she gets her leg warmers (talk to my characters!)
📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (full fics!)
💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series!)
🌟 or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!)
#balletteacher!jimin#balletteacher!jimin drabbles#jimin drabbles#park jimin drabbles#jimin drabble recs#jimin fics#jimin fic recs#park jimin#jimin au#jimin x reader#reader insert#bts fics#bts fic recs#jimin fluff#jimin fluff recs#jimin one shots#jimin one shot recs#jimin headcanons#jimin headcanon fics#jimin smut#jimin smut recs#jimin angst#jimin angst recs#bts jimin#bts writer recs#bts author recs
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— park ⋆ ji ⋆ min
pjm fic recommendation list by clover. 🍀 ↓
♡ = smut ; ♤ = angst ; ♧ = fluff ; ♕ = favorite
main list
♢ rage ; ♡ || one-shot (part of a series) — by @hamsterclaw
⇝ cop!jimin, hobbyist!reader // reader is so hot in this. so bratty n not afraid to speak her mind. jimin as well OOOOF. the fact he didn’t care to learn all that shit but kept going to see you lets go.
♢ when the camellia blooms ; ♤ || ? — by @tanniesjeom
⇝ hanahaki disease, unrequited love // i put the question mark cause i can’t find the first part anymore but part 2 can be read as a stand-alone so? oh well. sad. heartbreaking. just angst. it’s also been a whileeee since i read this
♢ faded love ; ♤ || one-shot — by @jamaisjoons
⇝ shitty marriage, cheater!jimin // again, read this years ago but i remember the development of jimin hating the counseling appointments and meeting you for an hour but slowly looking forward to them just for you to start giving up just good ole angst.
♢ horizon ; ♡, ♤ || one-shot — by @hamsterclaw
⇝ dystopia, sexworker!reader // beware, mentions of violent clients! jimin making sure to be gentle w u :(( running away w u :(((
♢ heartburn ; ♤ || completed — by @jiminrings
⇝ cheater!jimin, wedding season // this is more like emotional cheating but yes jiminrings has done it again. the way they write angst and the things they come up with im just… so obsessed w them like.
♢ pending…
#park jimin#park jimin x you#park jimin x y/n#park jimin x reader#bts jimin#jimin#jimin x you#jimin x y/n#jimin x reader#park jimin smut#park jimin angst#park jimin fic#jimin smut#jimin angst#jimin fic#bts#bts fic#bts fics#jimin au#park jimin au#bts x reader#bts au#jimin fanfic#🍀📁.jiminrec#cloverrecs#clover rec#minors dni#park jimin fanfic#jimin imagine#park jimin imagine
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Cruising Together | PJM
Synopsis: Just a quickie with your boyfriend Jimin.
Pairing: Jimin x Reader
Word count: 961
Warnings: smut. It’s just smut. 🔞
“Last call!” The bartender yells.
“Let’s have one more shot,” you say with an already tipsy smirk.
“You think you can handle it?” Jimin asks.
“I can handle anything,” you say grabbing his arm and leading him to the bar for one last round of drinks.
This is the first vacation you two have been able to go on in a while, a 7-day cruise through the Caribbean. You’re determined to make the most of this much needed getaway with your boyfriend.
It’s nearly 3am and the bar on the ship is getting ready to close for the night. But not before last call.
You opt for a shot of tequila while he goes for a whisky shot. You both toast to a good night and slam the drinks in one go.
“What should we do now?” Jimin asks.
“I don’t know, but I’m not ready to go back to our room yet. I want to spend more time looking hot,” you wink at him twirling around in your purple cocktail dress that you wore to the nights formal dinner.
“You always look hot,” he says pulling you in by your waist for a kiss.
“Then let’s go to the top deck and you can look at me while I look at the stars.”
“As long as I’m looking at you I don’t care where we are,” Jimin grabs your hand intertwining his fingers between yours.
You two reach the top deck which is quiet and completely free of other people. The stars shining in the sky create a beautiful reflection in the vast dark ocean below. The only light in the distance it what is shining off of the crescent moon and through Jimin’s eyes.
“It’s beautiful,” you remark marveling at the artwork of nature in front of you.
“You definitely are,” Jimin whispers into your ear from behind. He wraps his arms around your waist warming your body from the chill twilight breeze.
The heat of his lips leaving a trail of kisses down your neck makes you melt right into your panties. You bite your lip trying to keep your composure but a small moan escapes anyway.
“You must really love this view,” he lightly runs his hand up your thigh pulling up the bottom of your dress just enough to make you shiver from the air hitting your now exposed ass.
“I love it so much,” you whisper in a near moan.
Jimin’s hand gently runs up the inside of your thighs until he reaches your crease making your jump a little.
“Baby you’re so excited,” he purrs into your ear making you clinch his hand between your legs.
He runs his tongue up your neck knowing that you find it irresistible. Your restraint disappears and you turn around to face him and press your lips against his with a sense of urgency.
He lifts the back of your dress cupping your ass in his hands as you slip your tongue into his mouth. His dick hard and poking right into your pelvis.
The only thing that would make this the most memorable night is to have Jimin fuck you in the middle of the starlit ocean.
He looks at you through his lust filled eyes like a man starved for days. There’s a deep rabid growl that rumbles from deep within him. A vibration you can almost feel directly on your clit making your eyes roll to the back of your head.
Your hands start working on unbuttoning his pants as he drops your panties to your ankles and starts swirling his finger around your sensitive bud.
A moan escapes your mouth driving him rabid once you release his dick from his pants and stroke his entire shaft. He wraps your leg around his waist and teases your entrance making you squirm.
“I want you,” you plead. “I want you so bad.”
“Say ‘please’,” he teases.
“Please, baby. Please,” you moan.
He slowly slides his dick inside your dripping pussy sucking every bit of oxygen out of your lungs until his pelvis is flushed with yours.
“You feel so fucking good,” Jimin growls starting at a steady pace.
Only the sea creatures are able to hear your moans from Jimin biting at your breasts and steadily increasing his speed. Your arms are wrapped tightly around his neck and it’s taking everything in you to not wake the entire ship.
He’s got one hand digging into your hips tighter and tighter and the other playing with your breasts that he’s pulled out of the top of your dress.
With every thrust your temperature rises spreading heat from your nipples down to your pussy. You feel so full when he’s inside of you. A fullness you never forget and always crave.
“Don’t stop,” you breathe into his mouth before sucking his bottom lip.
In one fluid motion Jimin lifts your other leg wrapping it around his waist and maintaining his pelvic rhythm while fucking you with nothing but the support of his two arms.
Your body fills to the brim with overwhelming pleasure until you tightly clinch around his dick moaning into his ear.
His breathing narrows as he intensifies his power and pace. Your orgasm boils over making your legs tighten around his waist as you mewl and moan uncontrollably into his neck.
You feel his fingers grip tighter on your hips as he reaches his own climax leaving sloppy kisses all over you.
Both of you catch your breath and Jimin places your legs back on the ground. You tuck your boobs back into your dress and put your panties back on. Once his pants are buckled, he pulls you in for a few more kisses.
“Now lets check out the view from our room.”
#bts#bts au#bts fanfic#bts fic#bts smut#Jimin#jimin x reader#jimin smut#park Jimin#drabble#one off#Jimin au#Jimin fic#cross posted on ao3
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eliminate! - p.jm.
genre: major angst, suggestive content, dystopian!au (warnings include violence, death and mentions of blood) (8.8k wc)
summary: in a world where people killed those they loved, to survive, to be alive, you and jimin can't seem to be parted and the impending doom of your relationship stretches the two of you out before you are forced to make the choice, to love or to die?
masterlist
(i highly recommend listening to heartbeat by childish gambino while reading this, enjoy <3)
-
october 20th, 2022.
rain traveled down your back, slowly, mockingly but fell with full force on top of your head and clouded your vision. red lights flashed, green lights flashed, white lights flashed but somehow, he was still there, in the midst of it all, clear as day in the dead of the night.
it couldn’t be him, not after all this while, not after you’d given it all up.
but the hand that held your gun quivered, your blinking became slower as your eyes tried to focus on him, drink him in, forget him, remember him, anything it can do, see him.
it shouldn’t have come to this.
a road shouldn’t be separating you two, a gun in your hand should’ve never been held, the rain should've never dared to hide him from you but it was all happening, and all you could do was look.
you felt his sorrow from across the street, his shaking hands that held his own gun, and you knew you had to do this for the relief of the other, whoever survived.
your phone blinked and buzzed rapidly with the word ‘eliminate!’ on your screen and you knew the decision that you had to make.
so, as cars and bikes zoomed and honked and blared in your ears, your hand lifted to point the gun at him, you knew he would do the same, the principle was survival of the fittest after all.
but as you pulled the trigger and the bullet rang through the air and bolted in his direction, you realized he never lifted his hand.
you fell to your knees as the rain continued its assault on your body. your eyes forgave you by closing themselves so you would never have to see his body on the ground.
your screen became green.
‘successful!’
it shouldn’t have come to this.
-
the government and all other higher organizations had their eyes on the few numbers of marriages that took place and even fewer marriages that lasted, divorce rates were at an all-time high, and that resulted in the chaos of the world as it was.
because it was a chain reaction.
marriages lead to unhappy individuals, sometimes with children, sometimes with large families, this led to divorces, which led to unhappy and traumatized children, years of therapy that didn’t quite fix anything, unhappy and traumatized children didn’t serve to be responsible citizens who fulfilled the duties that the government needed.
and soon, they had to step in.
they introduced a system based on nature’s most ancient method, the method of survival by elimination. the system had everyone’s data down to the chromosomes that built them and used this system to establish romantic compatibility between individuals. this would allow society, as a whole, to have lasting, emotionally fulfilling relationships.
but they had other motives as well.
the government didn’t care about individuals, they cared about what an individual could offer and they also cared about overpopulation, they couldn’t control society if it was overfilling, so the system was built to kill two birds with one stone.
the system did connect people but the second the relationship seemed to be steering in the wrong direction in any manner, the individuals in the relationship would receive a flashing red alert of ‘eliminate’ on their phones; sometimes they got it at the same time, sometimes they got it seconds apart, and in the time that they receive the notification, they have to kill the other person in the relationship or get killed.
whoever kills, gets ‘aid’ from the government, which was basically tons of money to cover for the trauma that comes from killing someone you loved.
if the persons failed to carry out the elimination for whatever reason, they got three warnings before government-assigned hitmen would kill both of the individuals, if the individuals didn't kill to survive, they didn’t deserve survival.
this, according to the government, was survival of the fittest, eliminating those who weren’t emotionally capable of being in a lasting relationship, and who didn’t provide the government with anything, deserved to be eliminated.
this was naturally met with resistance but as days by and the system reached everyone, people found that they enjoyed eliminating those who made them unhappy, especially because there were no consequences and because romance came with a certain rage, people were finally allowed to quell that rage.
so, the system was implemented and the world paced forward.
but you fell in love with jimin, and he fell in love with you, and the moment you did, your phone flashed red.
-
december 19nd, 2022.
it was the first warning and he hadn’t died that day, at least that’s what you heard.
it’s been months since your bullet hit him and you still couldn't forget the ringing it left in your head. the same roads that you had coursed through on his bike, so in love, so sure about each other, were the same roads where you left him to die.
it wasn't your fault, you had prepared to die, jimin was a better marksman than you were, so you had expected a bullet to pierce through you as well but it never came, even if you wished that it did.
so, now, here you were, body barely covered in a nightgown that your partner, keith, apparently liked, hands slowly stirring the coffee in your cup and looking out the window, rain clouded your vision and that was enough to take you back.
“good morning, babe!” a swift kiss on the side of your neck had your body recoiling but you forced a smile on your face as you kissed keith’s cheek.
he was dressed up for work in his black trousers and white shirt, he was moderately attractive, a finance guy who liked spending his money as if it meant nothing, you had no idea how you were compatible, but you were living together now and you didn’t see a way out.
“work’s going to be crazy today, so many meetings and we have to close that deal today,” he drawled on, running his hands through his hair as he got behind the kitchen counter to make himself breakfast.
i hope you don’t come back home, i hope your meeting lasts for a week, i hope i never have to see you again.
“i can make dinner for when you come back” leaves your lips instead and his head snaps up with a smile you’ve grown to hate, “you’re the best, babe, i love that on you by the way.” he gestures to your gown and gives you a flying kiss and it takes everything in you to not physically cringe.
i hate this on me, by the way.
it’s not like you care.
“i’ll buy more of them.” you hum, an answer that would satisfy him, and with a sigh, you turn away from him to look out the window again, the sky was still gloomy, the raindrops still coated your windows and you still wanted your partner to die.
then, you notice at the foot of your apartment building, a bike that pulls up, a bike that you know, a bike that you spent many nights on, your heart races as the rider steps off it.
at the same minute, your phone buzzes in your hand and you freeze.
not now.
not now.
not now.
“we don’t have to make this painful,” you hear from behind you before the steel of your own gun presses against the back of your head, your phone slips to the ground and you catch sight of the red that coats the screen.
‘eliminate!’
seconds apart.
of course, he got it before you had.
from your periphery, you see exactly what keith had been all along, what all you tolerated because you didn’t think you deserved love after putting a bullet in the only man you ever loved, you see keith’s narrowed eyes filled with ambition and malice, his fingers that itched to pull the trigger and his face that donned an evil smile.
he was enjoying this, enjoying the absolute control he had on your very existence.
you just wished he hadn’t underestimated you.
you pulled your ankle back to connect with his crotch, and whipped around to elbow his face and neck, making him weak enough to drop the gun, you pushed the gun away with your leg and dragged him to the kitchen counter, all while he begged and whimpered for mercy, then started shouting in the anger he felt, he had lost control after all.
you grabbed his collar and jammed his head into the sharp corner of the kitchen counter, leaving traces of his blood on it, and got up to retrieve a knife.
you had to do it, you had to kill him, or they will kill you you had to do it you had to kill him or they will kill you you had to do i-
the door to your apartment flew open and the grip you had on your knife tightened as you whipped around to see who it was, even if you knew who it could be.
jimin stood there, helmet in hands, eyes flicking on your body, unmoving, so silent that it made your head spin. as your lips parted to call out to him, to see if he would respond, to see if he was even real, a hand gripped your ankle, keith’s loud groan of ‘bitch’ echoed around you. the knife you had in your hands quickly found its place in his chest; the green light from your phone illuminated a side of your face.
‘successful!’
through the blood dripping down your eyelashes, you looked up, once again to see him, to see if he had moved, to see if he had left, to see if he had come to kill you.
you fell off keith’s body, pushing it away with your feet and the cold ground made you hiss, your head didn’t stop spinning, and your hands didn’t stop shaking, it almost made you laugh that the people in this room right now were both people you killed or tried to kill.
“why are you back?”
we shouldn’t be around each other, you shouldn’t be alive, i shouldn’t be alive-
“i chose to forgive you for putting a bullet in me,” he smirked and your head lolled to the side, a smile growing involuntarily, he was real, he was here, and he was breathing, “i never asked for your forgiveness, jimin.”
i missed you, i missed your voice, i missed your bike, i missed you i missed you i missed you i missed you, i missed us.
“i’m nice like that,” he hummed as he sat beside you, you looked up helplessly, someone’s blood smeared on your face, his blood that stained your hands, you thought you would never see him again.
he was nice like that; he was always nicer than you had ever been.
jimin’s ring-covered fingers pushed the hair that stuck onto the blood on your face back, you could feel your sobs compressed in your chest.
“unless you are here to kill me, get out, jimin.” you didn’t think you could say it but you couldn’t kill him a second time, you couldn't look at him without wanting to lay in his arms and let him kill you.
“i’m gonna say no to that.”
“you must really like dying” you could almost hear the sirens of the government hitmen, they would bust in here, place a bullet in each of your heads, jimin and you would just be eliminated numbers in the system then.
“we’ve only gotten one warning,” his voice and demeanor remained calm and steady, the calm you needed, the steady you craved, everything about jimin, you craved and craved and craved.
but one warning was enough, one bullet was enough, the blood on your hands was enough.
you pushed yourself off the floor, almost gravitating and falling into jimin’s arms, maybe crying for an hour, or two, and then kissing him all over but instead, your hands reached out for the knife that was dripping already.
you stood, with shaky knees, in front of a jimin that didn’t flinch and with the strongest voice you could muster, “get out.”
jimin didn’t make an attempt to move, “i let you kill me once, why do you think this will work?” to anyone else, it would sound like he was provoking you, but jimin was pleading with you, ‘i let you kill me once, i’ll let you kill me twice, thrice, ten times, i would rather die in your hands than be away from you.’
you couldn’t think, you couldn’t breathe, he was right, he was always right.
but you were, again, desperate to make sure his blood didn’t end up on you.
so, you twisted the knife and pointed it to yourself.
that did the trick.
jimin jumped up from where he was, you could hear his breathing, loud, hurried, so worried, you saw his hands instinctively jerk towards you and pausing in the air, unsure of what you would do.
“please leave,” you whispered, eyes gathering tears for the first time this morning and jimin retracted his hand, “you’re being crazy, put it down, p-please.” his calm was breaking, his face boosted a sheen and his eyebrows scrunched in worry.
“the second you turn back and leave, this will be put away.” you shook the knife in your hand, glancing towards the door through which jimin would have to leave.
jimin’s eyes widened in anger, his hands shook at the fury that consumed him, he couldn’t believe that you were willing to do this just to keep him away.
“i came back for you!” he yelled, you couldn’t help but flinch at his eyes that were no longer calm, no longer steady, “after everything, after you put a fucking bullet in me, after you live with some guy, i looked for you everywhere and this is what you want to do? drive me away? make yourself look insane?” his voice bellowed in the apartment, suffocating you, driving you to tears, but you knew it was necessary, it was easier if he hated you.
“get out,” you whispered again, your resolve weakening as the knife nudged into your skin, and at the sight of your blood running down your arm, jimin threw his head back with a frustrated groan, he couldn't touch you without potentially triggering another warning, he couldn’t shake you back to sanity so, just as quiet as he entered, jimin left your apartment, but not without a look that said, ‘this isn’t over, not here, not now.’
you were left with too much air and too much blood around you.
at some point in the evening, the cleaners from the government came in, but none of them looked at you, none of them said a word or offered you a napkin, nothing.
they pushed keith’s body into a bag, cleared up the blood, dropped an envelope full of money on the counter, and left.
but the smell of death perforated around you, as you, once again, looked out the window, a gloomy sky, a gloomy world, and your cigarette was the only light that remained later in the night.
you stared at the reflection of your face which looked sunken in, tired, irritated, so close to dead but unfortunately, not dead, and as you kept scowling at yourself, jimin’s face joined the reflection.
then, both of your cigarettes remained to be the only light in your apartment that night.
-
august 22nd, 2023.
that night, he smoked with you, taught you how to patch up your cuts, burnt some scented candles, and left after staring at your lips for ten minutes.
it didn’t matter that you were already well-trained to patch up your wounds, it didn’t matter that the candles he left only cleared the air for a few minutes before the smell of death came back, he was there, you were there, and that was enough for nothing else to matter.
though you still shiver at the memory of his eyes on you.
you haven’t seen him since then, you had told him to stay away before any kind of patch wouldn’t save what you do to yourself, but you still burnt the candles he got for you, every day.
you killed five people after jimin last year, you didn’t know if it was dumb luck that you survived every single time or your worst nightmare come true, all of your lovers were now just numbers in the eliminated category, you were waiting to join them too.
but, when your phone flashed red, you couldn't think of anything but surviving, even if you wanted to die, even if you had nothing to live for, that one notification blinded you from everything you believed in and pushed you to protect yourself.
it was the deepest, darkest secret that you held and buried in yourself.
maybe that was the intention all along, everyone wants to die until they are put face-to-face with death.
“i really didn’t expect us to match but i’m so glad that this is happening,” your date, an older man, with thinning hair and too broad of a smile, beamed at you. you felt particularly irritated that he was talking to your boobs but you held on, you matched for a reason, you had to see this through until you could kill him.
“i am glad too.” you smiled with ruby lips, crossing your legs and leaning away from him, you raised your glass to him and he almost jumped out of his seat to cling it, you held back your laugh at his state.
men were too simple.
“let’s get to know each other! we could start with, what scares you?” he thought he was being deep and thoughtful with that question, but he was so wrong.
men, scare me, i haven't decided if you're one of those men.
“i have to say, rats, can’t stand them, they’re disgusting.” you fake shuddered, causing your date to explode into laughter, “oh, you poor thing, they scare you?” he asked as if it was the most ridiculous thing ever.
i am scared that everyone i love, secretly hates me. i don't have many people that i love, that scares me too.
“so, how many people have you killed?” you didn’t mean to ask it out loud but you needed to know how much training would have to go into defeating him, if that day ever came. he looked up with surprised eyes before the surprise melts into poorly executed sensuality, a certain sick kind of glint shined in his face as he leaned forward as if he’s found his prize, his prey, “i have killed 3, princess, what about you?”
it took everything in you to not vomit in his face.
but your eyes roll back instead, this was going to be a long night.
“how about you try to guess?” you whispered back, just as sensual, maybe not as sick but playing the part he wanted you to.
a hidden freak in elegant clothes.
men didn’t have a lot of types; this was usually the most popular.
he, you keep thinking ‘he’, because, for the love of god, you can’t seem to remember his name, blinks slowly, trying to be sexy, only to look mildly constipated.
a swing of the restaurant doors forces your eyes towards the entrance and your throat closes up as you try not to fall off your seat when you see who it is.
you had told him to stay away, to never come back, you told him that you should’ve never given him the lighter that night but he had laughed it off, he had lit his cigarette and gazed out the window without a word.
now, he was here, all flesh and bones, too real, too much, not in your innocent or sometimes, not-so-innocent dreams, he was standing with another woman who held onto his hands, hands that had taught you to clean your wounds, hands that had touched every inch of you.
your hands gripped the tablecloth with a strength you didn’t know you possessed; your eyes threatened to flash red as your heartbeat accelerated.
gone was the bald man in front of you, gone were the people around you, gone was the chaos of the restaurant, gone was the rest of the world as his eyes reached you.
and he had the audacity to bow to you, flash a smirk, throw a smile at your date, and take his seat at the bar as if it was his throne. of course, his seat faced you, his eyes stayed on you as his hands played and twirled with her hair.
“see something you like?” your date growled from the other side of the table.
you had forgotten about him.
“sorry, i got distracted” you mumbled, you wondered if he would figure out just how insincere your words were. he laughed bitterly, fingers tapping incessantly at his wine glass.
his demeanor had changed, his shoulders were tense and tight, and you could feel his leg knocking onto the table, you had pissed him off.
you wish you cared.
“i’ve met your type, you think that looking and acting like a slut will help you get away with everything, don’t you?” his eyes gleamed wickedly as he smiled at you, you felt a chill run down your spine even if you weren't threatened.
all your life, you’ve met all kinds of men, it didn’t help you get used to how cruel and animalistic some of them could be.
your phone pinged and flashed red.
‘eliminate!’
your heart contracted rapidly as your hands tried to search for the gun on your thigh holster, your fingers fumbled to pull it out and you could feel it all slip away.
you couldn’t let him get the notification too, he would kill you, he would kill you in front of jimin, he would kill you and you would never see jimin again, never feel him again, never breathe him in agai-
but then, his head dropped on the table.
your hands fell away from your holster as your entire body stiffened and fell back on your chair.
you hated that you didn’t feel anything as his blood pooled around his head, as people screamed and rushed out of the restaurant, as waiters fumbled with their phones to call the police, you hated that your gaze immediately went to jimin.
his hand was raised, a gun pointed in your direction.
your suspicions were right.
‘successful!’
your screen turned green.
people ran with their children in front of you, people stared in horror at the man whose blood overflowed from the table, people saw you staring at the bar instead of the dying man in front of you.
public eliminations were rare, and most notifications were delivered in the safety of private homes but desperate times, such as especially bad events on a date, would lead to this.
jimin’s date got up, seemed to scream at him, seemed to seek his attention but he peeked and bent around her body to keep looking at you, she turned around with fury in her eyes, only to huff loudly and run out of the restaurant too.
then, it was the two of you again.
how could you feel a touch, months after it’s been on you?
how could you feel him, miles apart?
you hated yourself for how warm you felt now that it was just you and him.
you pushed yourself out of your chair, charging towards jimin with a rage you only felt around him, the rage of wanting him but not having him, the rage of never forgetting him, the rage of not being able to detach yourself from him, the rage of seeing him with another, he watched with a tilted head as you approached him.
“come outside,” you demanded, already turning around to get out but he spun towards the bar, “why? we have all the privacy we want, right here” he tapped the seat next to him with his lips pulled to one side.
you were impatient, out of time, out of your depth, out of control, which urged you to grab jimin by the collar and drag him to the rain-soaked pavements outside.
there was no way you were going to have a conversation when a man lay dead, a couple of steps away from you, a man that he killed, a man that you were supposed to kill.
“what were you thinking, jimin?” you screeched once you couldn’t see blood dripping down the table you left behind. even as the rain soaked you, you felt burning hot anger bubbling in you.
“why do you care? were you in love with him or something?” jimin sneered, adjusting his shirt and looking away to the side, his voice was irritated but his face wasn’t, jimin had ever been good at hiding his vulnerability. there was this nervousness, this tapping of his foot, that gave him away.
“it shouldn’t matter to you, jimin!” you yelled loudly, though your face fell away in unguarded softness. it shouldn’t have been his bullet today, it should’ve been yours, it’s funny to you that it always ends up having to be yours.
“why?” jimin turned back to look at you with a frown so deep, you wondered if he was feeling the strain of the conversation already, if he was feeling the strain of being so close and far.
do you want me in your arms? i want you in mine.
“what do you mean, why?” you threw your hands in the air as a deep exhale left your body, a last attempt to calm yourself, “why shouldn’t it matter to me? as far as i know, i’m the only one it should matter to,” he roared back, chest puffing as he stepped closer to you.
come closer, don’t you dare step back, take me away from this rain, this place, these people, this world, take me to a place where i can hold you and you can hold me.
“you know exactly why” you steeled your gaze to get your point across, though you wondered if he could hear your heart break from where he stood.
jimin watched you with careful eyes, sorrow hid under his eyelashes, sorrow that he tried to blink away, sorrow that barely concealed the anger he felt.
but not at you.
never at you.
he reached for your hand, causing you to flinch and shift a couple of steps away, he felt like a wound that never quite healed, cut itself open again, “what are you so afraid of?”
your heartbeat quickened, “jimin, stay back, we don’t know about the warn-“
“that ship sailed when you yanked my collar, love” his lips pulled to one side as he showed his phone screen that was bright red, and your heart drowned all over again, your phone buzzed in your hand, you knew what it meant.
your second warning.
“why don’t we just take advantage of this?” he whispered so softly, that the rest of the world tapped out, it was just him and his face and his voice and his hands that pushed your hair back.
life filled your lungs in a rush, life so vibrant and bright, life so blindingly fine.
soft soft hands, soft hands that touch me, soft hands that have touched me before, soft hands which i love, i love the man with soft hands.
“we could go back to our place, watch some movies, just talk, you can tell me how terrible your dates have been,” he paused to chuckle a little and it filled you with lightness, you believed you could float, “we could let the warning stretch, we could let it all just ring, i don’t care, as long as you’re there, i don’t care about anything.”
he still calls it ‘our’ place, i have a place in this world.
your phone buzzed and flashed red repeatedly as he held your cheeks and leaned in, just to let his breath fan over your face, just to let his lips brush over yours.
“but don’t push me away, i need you.” you could tell he was holding back tears and you couldn’t tell that you were crying already until his hands wiped across your cheeks, your hands fell on his shirt, unsurely grazing the fabric.
did you want him closer? was that possible?
‘eliminate!’
‘eliminate!’
‘eliminate!’
your phone threw the red onto his face, flashing so rapidly that you wanted to break it, but when you caught his eyes, his ever so tender, ever so loving, ever so giving eyes, you got reminded of the bullet you put in him. now, the red light looked like his blood.
i love the man with soft hands. his soft hands touch me and i touch him, he tells me sweet things when our lives are on a rope, how can i not fall?
i hurt the man with soft hands, i don’t deserve the man with soft hands.
your hands were desperately hanging onto his shirt now but you could feel your stomach in your throat, your heart in your legs, your head in the stormy clouds and you pushed him away.
you stumbled back, hiccupping and gripping your phone.
‘eliminate!’
“please, just listen to me-“ but you couldn’t, all you could hear was the traffic, the people, your phone, and the world, it all returned back to you and you couldn’t hide in his face any longer.
“just stop, jimin!” you let out your cry, heart squeezing itself dry onto the pavement.
i can’t hurt you, i can’t die, but i will die if i don’t hurt you, would you kill me? save me this pain? take me away.
jimin’s rage returned.
“we need to stop this, don’t show your face around me again” you turned and walked away before your heart fell on his feet and you couldn’t pick it up again.
step.
step.
step.
pull me back, don’t let me go.
“how do you walk away every single time?” his voice was low, barely audible but it fell on you like bricks raining from the sky.
your steps stopped, everything in you paused at the tension in his voice.
“how do you live without me? why is it so easy for you to be without me?” he got louder, angrier, more desperate, more of everything, you knew his eyes were burning into your skin and leaving scars that would never fade.
i’m not living, i’m breathing, i’m existing, it's not the same.
“jimin,” you breathed out, your entire body stood confused at the jolts of torments that passed through it, you tried not to fall on your knees at his assumption.
did he think this was easy for you?
did he think that he didn’t haunt every single living thought in your head?
did he think you could ever forget the grief that shot through you when you saw him on the ground, that you could ever forget him?
“do you not remember anything?” he whispered again, a sad smile stretched on his face.
i remember too much.
i remember drifting through these roads on your bike, i remember laughing into your hair and the warmth of your neck on cold nights, i remember the leather of your jacket and the coldness of you necklace, i remember the cat you loved even if you are allergic, i remember the story of your first kiss, i remember the lingering love you hold for her, i remember the greater love you held for me.
i remember the day i died when my phone flashed red for the first time.
i remember everything.
“no, and you should forget it too” you shook off his scent that crawled on your back to choke you.
“i don’t believe you,” jimin narrowed his eyes at you, he could see the memories playing like a videotape behind your eyes.
“i don’t either,” he pulled back at the sad chuckle that left your tear-dried lips and he could only watch as you got into your bike and drove away into the night, once again, leaving him to himself.
your tears came anew as the gush of wind froze them on your face, you no longer had his neck to bury yourself into, and you no longer had his jacket to grip onto, it was just you, the night and everything else burning in and out of existence.
you could tell it all to him, you could tell him that you haven't been alive since the second you held that gun in your hands, you could tell him that you imagined him on every face you kissed but it was easier to not tell it all.
it was easier to pretend that you didn’t know what you felt, it was easier to tell him you didn’t know when you knew it all, and it was easier to go back to your room and stare at the ceiling till morning came.
-
december 31st, 2023.
six hours were left to new years.
you just killed another person, and this time, you didn’t bother remembering anything about them, their name, their hobbies, their interests, their face just before they died, it only gave you nightmares.
the paper of your cigarette was soaked red as your hands dripped on them, your bedroom was being sterilized and you were once again, wholly surrounded by the smell of blood and death and nothing else.
you would need to get new sheets, a new bed, a new carpet, and new candles.
what a way to start a new year.
your head fell back on the sofa as a dull ache coursed through you, the ache was ever-present now, your only consistent companion, it stayed with you as life threw you from a puddle, to a pond, to a lake, to a river and then, at the deep edge of the sea.
your feet dragged as you closed the door behind the cleaners, you wondered if they were welcoming the new year with someone they loved or if they were too, much like you, rotting around the smell of death.
three hours were left to new years.
you wondered what jimin was doing, and then you laughed into the silence around you, when did you ever stop thinking about what jimin was doing?
but you were two strikes down, another one would only end with you both six feet underground and you couldn’t do that to jimin.
one hour was left to new years.
you were somehow standing in front of ‘your’ apartment, it was really jimin’s but it stuck with you that he had called it ‘our.’
in life, there are logical choices, mapped out, ready for action, the results would be great for you but as humans, we very rarely follow through with logical choices because even if we have a monologue prepared, an argument, a plan of action, we see the face of some people, we see the nights we spent with them, we see the words we never told anyone else, we see our expired love creeping on their backs and it all crumbles.
those choices are always shadowed by, not your heart, as many would like to believe, it’s always you, as a whole, just you. because sometimes, we don’t want the peace that comes with logic, we want the freefall that comes with doing whatever the heck you want and regretting it all afterward.
and you wonder if you will ever make the smart choice when it comes to jimin.
the door swings open, your chest falls in relief at his face and an expectant smile from him, silence riddled around you both, welcomes you into your home.
you felt strangely out of your body, as if you were watching the night unravel and could do nothing but watch, as if you had no and all control, as if you could run and stay at the same time.
on your true bed, you splayed out your arms and legs, you didn’t exhale too loudly, jimin didn’t breathe too much, you pushed your face into the pillows that you and jimin used to lay on, you breathed in the scent, jimin stood back and watched, everything was just silent and perfect and your phones were nowhere near you.
i didn’t think we would be here again, i thought i lost you forever, i thought i would die with your love for me and my love for you, buried deep inside of me and someday, it would all be dug up and i won’t be there to witness any of it.
on your true table, you sat, legs folded on the chair, piping hot food flowing steam onto your face and you ate, jimin sat opposite to you and ate, the television roared with news of parties, fires, danger, sorrow, economy. a word didn’t leave your lips.
who really cares about the government anyway, right?
on your true sofa, your fingers threaded jimin’s hair as you pulled at his scalp, gently, maybe not so gently and he falls apart in your touch, he falls back and grabs you, again and again, you two rise and fall, like riptides that would devastate the shore, like rocks that hit to make fire, like hail that hits your feet and makes them numb, your bodies don’t care anymore, not about some warning, not about some stupid government, your bodies only craved for what the other offered.
why does morning have to come? why do nights like these not show mercy on me and stretch forever? why is this place not where i come back to anymore? how do i leave, with the memories of your feathers wrapped around my back?
at some point, the clock struck midnight and jimin’s twinkling eyes whispered to you, his hands rubbing circles on your waist, “happy new year, my love.”
all of the world’s happiness would have fit in the centimetre space between you two then, you didn’t want to think of how you would die after this, you didn’t want to think of how temporary it all was, you didn’t want to think of how tomorrow might never come.
but you woke up the next day, jimin’s arms on your stomach, a new year shining outside your window and you stumbled out of the bed for your phone, to see if it really was the end because you couldn’t get a better ending than this.
you didn’t get a warning.
you wouldn’t die today.
you sighed out in relief.
-
february 14th, 2024.
you got lucky that day, too lucky, you had stretched your luck till afternoon dawned. that morning, you got on jimin’s bike and let yourself float in the backseat as wind pricked your face, you had been hoping that the final warning will come, that you could die happy but even as your head rested on jimin’s shoulder and the beach waves crashed in front of you, even as he nestled his face into your head and breathed you in, your phones hadn’t made a single noise.
the next morning, you were back to wanting to survive, jimin tried to keep you in his bed, he had whispered promises to you, he had kissed your cheeks and his hands had gripped onto your arms.
but you had run away, it wasn’t your home and you couldn’t play around with your luck anymore, maybe it was a glitch, maybe it was an anomaly, no one knew how the warnings came, and you weren’t exactly excited to know why you were granted those few hours with jimin.
and you found someone.
someone not like keith, someone not too sick or old, his name was wooseok and he treated you gently, treated you lovingly, he held your hand as you walked, he kissed you on the forehead, he promised to let you down gently if the notification ever came, as per your request.
but his hands weren’t soft and you weren’t in love with him.
you punched the sandbag in front of you, harder than your instructor had told you to, harder than you wanted to, the night fell around you with each punch, no one came around this time and the solitude comforted you.
soon, you had to meet wooseok for dinner, a valentine’s dinner, a night filled with affection and attention, you were looking forward to it, at least you were trying to look forward to it.
the elevator pinged behind you, slowing your punches, you turned around to glare at whoever came in, this was the only alone time you had, you couldn’t have some idiot mess it up.
but then your face relaxed as wooseok walked in, your arms immediately stretched in front of you to wrap around his neck and he chuckled into your neck, “couldn’t wait till dinner, forgive me.” he brushed your cheeks before kissing you on the forehead and you tried to hide the way your body tensed.
“i’m glad, i’ll be done in a bit,” you said with a half-genuine smile and he nodded.
i can be happy without jimin, i can live and not be afraid to love, i can learn to love wooseok’s rough hands and i can live live live
the elevator pinged again; you didn’t bother looking at who it was until you heard the soft thump of a bag falling to the floor. “just two minutes,” he whispered before burying his face in your neck again and this time, your body gave up fighting, you relaxed into him and let out a sigh. hidden by wooseok’s body, you peeked to the side to see who it was.
it was instantaneous, the reaction, the rush of blood to your head and heart, the restlessness that started building in you.
you felt your chest tear, your legs break under you, your hands falling off but nothing happened to you, even if you wished your mental pain could become physical, you still breathed fine, stood fine, lived fine, still clung to wooseok’s neck fine.
just one look at jimin had you crumbling even as someone held you up.
i cannot be happy without jimin.
“i’ll be waiting downstairs,” wooseok whispered, with no knowledge of your intruder, he kissed your cheek and you tried to hide the paleness of your face as you nodded, he leaves with a lingering look at you, so filled with love.
and your throat closes up again as the elevator takes him away.
jimin looks at you, waiting for you to speak, apologize, explain, anything, any words you give, he would take and he tries to hold his ground while his mind assaults him with playbacks to you and someone else wrapped around you.
your content face, instead of fear, your smile, instead of a scowl, your affection, instead of wariness, everything jimin wanted with you, you found in someone else.
he would’ve done anything for all of that, would your new boy do it? would he make you his as jimin had?
once he understands that you were going to ignore this, he walks towards you slowly, taking all the time in the world, you heard his steps but you kept putting your stuff away, determined to leave as soon as you could.
the world spun at your feet when he halts behind you, you felt the warmth of his body and his soft soft soft soft hands holding your hips as he gazed from behind you, into the mirror, you stood frozen.
how easy would it be to just melt into you? how easy would it be to go back home with you, to you, spend my hours breathing with you?
no.
you had someone now.
“jimin, step back,” you glanced anxiously towards where you left your phone and jimin is reckless, out of patience and at the end of the line here, “how does he treat you, love?” he whispers against your ear, in a mocking tone that you hated.
but heat crawls and wraps around you fast, you find yourself wanting to lean back on him, let him carry you away and let everything else fall away, let your life fall away.
not better than you, no one gets me like you do.
“he’s incredible, treats me very well” you turn your nose up in the air, speaking anything and everything to make him believe that you were alright without him, but as always, jimin sees right through you, he hums before leaning his chin on your shoulder and sucking in a breath, that has your knees bucking.
“does he, now?” you nodded, but the rest of your body was so still, you didn’t know if you were still breathing or not.
then, he wrapped his arms around your abdomen, pulled you flush against him, “this is how he held you, isn’t it?” you didn’t answer, “and how much time did he ask for? two minutes?” he laughed again, a sick kind of laugh that you had never heard from jimin before.
“what does he have that i don’t, love? what is it?” he mumbles into your neck, lips flush against your skin and you can’t hold the shiver that passes through you, there’s a daze that dances around you, a weight that holds your eyes down as his hands play with your skin, but you know what you two don’t have.
time. i have time, time that isn’t running out right in front of my eyes, time that doesn’t keep me up at night.
nothing, he has nothing compared to jimin.
“i will let you go only because i know you will kill him one day, and i know where you’ll be once you wash his blood away,” he steps back, leaving you with an ocean of air and a whirlpool room, it takes you a minute to come back to the world.
“actually, he will kill me,” you say finally, jimin turns around from picking his bag up, “i told him, if the warning comes, to kill me.” that decision made you feel lightweight, you would finally be rid of the system, this world, everything once things with wooseok fizzle.
you hadn’t conjured jimin’s reaction, you hadn’t put too much thought into it but a body-shaking laughter wasn’t what you expected at all.
he was bent with hands on his knees, laugh after laugh tumbling out of his mouth as he gasped for breath and you stood there, feeling unsure, humiliated and embarrassed.
and so so naked.
“what’s so funny, jimin?” he held a hand up, steadied himself with a wide grin on his face as he wiped a happy tear from the corner of his eyes, “what’s funny, love, is that you really think you will let him kill you, that is just hilarious.”
you grow red at his words as a wave of shame threatens to shake you off balance, “you know nothing about me, i’ve done enough, i’ve killed enough-“
“and you will do it again.” he says, a hint of a smirk still on his face.
i would.
i wouldn’t.
would i?
you are taken back to all the faces that you had forgotten after they died, keith, the old man, the woman, the memories that died with them, somewhere in you, you had always waited to kill some of them, even if you tried to tell yourself that you didn’t, everyone except jimin, didn’t exist in your head anymore.
“you have n-no idea what you are talking about,” you couldn’t believe that somehow jimin had figured this part of you out, you felt nauseous that he knew the worst parts of you.
“i am the only one who knows, because you loved me most, you loved me like you loved nothing else, you still do and that didn’t stop you from putting a bullet in me, did it?” he clicked on the elevator door as you hurried to catch up to him, stomping after him to prove him wrong, to tell him he had it all wrong but you have no words that are truthful to defend yourself.
i loved you like the soil loves water, like children love lollipops, like waves love the shore, i love you with all of me.
but i killed you and i cried.
i killed you.
you shoved yourself into the elevator with him, chest heaving, mind light and heavy, arms so tired but shaking with restrained anger and he looks at you with, was it pity?
“then, why chase after me if i am so vile?” you scream in his direction, a layer of you was peeled and left to bleed now, you had no idea how to stop it.
your phone buzzed and flashed red.
jimin’s phone buzzed and flashed red.
you look at each other, raw fear flashing just for a second before relaxing, isn’t this what you wanted, anyway?
your third and final warning.
“because i love you too much to care about myself and i’m the only one who can handle it, i’m the only one who would die for you.” he says with conviction, as if it was something he had rehearsed, something he had to repeat to himself. he turns his phone away and tucks it into his pocket.
you wanted to say, i love you too, and i know you’re the only one but the elevator doors open and you’re shoved into the darkness of the parking space, where wooseok stood, hands waving and a bright smile.
“save him and come back to me,” jimin whispers as he leans to give you the shortest, sweetest, most painful kiss on your temple before he’s sending you on your way and stepping back.
wooseok traps you in his arms and spins you around, pure joy radiating off him and you can only gulp and try to smile, “ready for our dinner?” he squeezes your arms with a breathtaking smile, and it takes everything in you to not vomit at his feet.
you nod, he grins and whips around to open the car door for you.
you look back to see jimin, in the elevator, just when the doors start to close, he mouths ‘till next time’ and a slow smirk grows on his face as he disappears behind the metal and you are sure you’ve left your heart in there.
“let’s go,” you sit in the car and watch out the window as it rains again, soft music plays from the radio and your body is rigid, tight, too painful to move and wooseok notices it, he reaches over, brushes your thighs with his rough so rough hands and soothes you with his words.
your phone buzzes in your lap and your heart jumps to your throat.
wooseok’s eyes turn down in sadness and you want to reach over, hold his cheeks and tell him, i love you, even if you don’t mean it but you don’t move a muscle. misunderstanding your silence, he slows the car and his phone flashes red as well, he sighs, eyes so sad, eyes lined with tears and you don’t feel anything.
it hurts that you feel as empty as a shell.
“i’ll keep my promise, i’ll give you a painless end” he mumbles softly, kissing the back of your hands and your feet start to tingle at the guilt that numbs you.
you act as if you are going to cup his face, he leans in with soft eyes and rough hands, you give a sharp tug to the steering wheel and the vehicle fastens towards a nearby tree.
you, so desperately wanted jimin to be wrong but as wooseok’s lifeless face stared back at you, you knew he was right.
you got out of the car, littered with a couple cuts and a lanky step, and walk towards the only place that belongs to you, the only place that you knew would welcome you back with snide smirks and silence and love, so much love, home.
your home.
-
‘eliminate!’
.
.
.
‘successful!’
#bts#bts imagines#bts fluff#bts angst#bts scenarios#jungkook smut#bts smut#jungkook fluff#jeon jungkook#park jimin#jimin au#jimin face#jimin imagines#jimin one shots#jimin fluff#jimin smut#jimin fanfic#jimin x reader#jimin x you#jimin angst#bts jimin#jimin fic#jimin fic recs#bts fics#bts one shot#bts fic recs#bts masterlist#bts drabble#jimin drabble#jimin headcanons
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The Ten Days of Ex-Mas (M) (Pt. 2)
Author: kpopfanfictrash
Genre: Holiday / Second Chance!AU / Hockey!AU
Pairing: Jimin / Reader (F)
Synopsis: Three months following the worst break-up of your life, you finally feel ready to start moving on. The world, it seems, has other ideas when you pick up the phone and find your ex-boyfriend calling.
Jimin Park, star right winger of the NHL and (until recently), the love of your life, has a very large problem. Despite the courage he regularly shows on the ice, in his personal life, Jimin is kind of a coward. When you broke up this fall, he could barely admit it. Not to his neighbors. Not to his friends. Not even to his family, who are expecting him home for Christmas. In a desperate plea for more time, Jimin begs you to pretend you’re still dating – and to his surprise, you agree. Faced with a second chance, Jimin is determined not to squander it. If only fixing a relationship were as easy as falling in love.
Word Count: 44,416 (19K in part 2)
Author’s Note: Part of the Jingle All the Way collaboration with @leahsfavefics, @kithtaehyung, @yoonia, @cybrsan, and @sugaurora! Unfortunately, due to the new Tumblr text post limitations, this has to be published as multiple parts. THIS IS NOT THE START OF THE STORY. Please read Part 1 first, here.
Rating: 18+
NSFW Warnings: oral (F), multiple orgasms (F), fingering, sex in a semi-public area (brief), breast play, spanking, masturbation (M, F), dirty talk, mention of toys
A/N: all collab fics incorporate the phrase, "the holidays aren't so bad with you around."
A/N: This is not part 1. Read part 1 here.
“Jimin!” Hana cries, plowing into his legs. “Y/N! We’re skates!”
Lifting your brows, you crouch to boop her red pom-pom hat. “Of course, you are!” you say. When Hana runs off, you stand and lean closer. “Do you think she meant they have skates, or that we’re pretending to be them?”
“Guess we’ll find out,” Jimin chuckles, taking your hand to cross the street.
You seem surprised but continue, falling into step alongside him. If pressed, Jimin could say he’s holding your hand because you’re around his family but truthfully, that’s not why. He’s holding your hand because he hasn’t touched you for twelve hours, crumbling something vital deep in his chest.
Jimin’s mom waves you over to where they’ve occupied several benches. “Welcome,” she says, gesturing to the group. “The girls picked out skates for everyone – correct sizes, of course.”
Stifling a laugh, Jimin looks at the skates. Of course, the twins picked them out since they’ve chosen only the most ridiculous concepts. Each year, a main Garland attraction is the infamous holiday ice skates. Imagine a Christmas staple, and there’s an ice skate for it. Snowmen skates wait for Jimin, complete with tiny carrot noses.
“How did you know my favorites,” you gasp, bending to reach for your candy cane skates.
“Cuz we’re smart!” Ari yells, wriggling free of Hoseok’s arms.
Jisoo grabs her by the waist, picking her up to sit down on a bench. Jimin takes you by the hand again, leading you to a semi-secluded bench. Glancing over your shoulder, you watch as he drags you away from his family.
“Sit,” Jimin demands, and your eyes widen.
Somewhat flustered, you obey. “Jimin,” you hiss when he kneels before you. “No one is watching us. You don’t have to…”
He lifts a brow. “I don’t have to do anything, Y/N.”
You fall silent when he begins unlacing your boots, setting them aside on the cold ground. Jimin doesn’t miss the way you shiver when his hand curls around your ankle, nor the look on your face when he scoots even closer.
“Jimin…”
Flashing a wicked smile, he looks up. “Yes?”
A lump moves in your throat when you swallow. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Brows lifted, Jimin leans forward, pressing his shoulder against your inner knee. He begins tying the laces, taking his time to savor the closeness. By the time he’s finished, you’re glowering darkly.
“Up,” you demand, switching places.
Jimin shouldn’t be turned on by how easily you walk in skates, nor by the bossy edge to your voice as you kneel.
“Is this what you wanted?” you ask, your gaze burning. Placing both hands on his knees, you lean forward. “To tease me?”
“Tease you?” Jimin looks you up and down. “Right now, I feel like the victim here.”
Pushing yourself to stand, you nudge him with your foot. “You can put on your own skates, Park. Last I checked, you got paid to do this for a living.”
“Usually, they pay me to play in the skates. Not just look pretty.”
Your lips tilt. “Are you calling yourself pretty?”
Wordless, Jimin tosses his hair as he stands from the bench. Eyes wide, you realize your gaze drops to his skates, already tied. Leaning in, Jimin brushes your arm with his palm.
“That depends,” he says lowly. “What do you think?”
Your gaze focuses on him. “Your looks haven’t changed that much since September, Park.”
His eyes darken. “Stop calling me that.”
“What – Park?”
Brows lowered, Jimin steps closer. “You sound like you’re about to scold me.”
You snort. “Scold you? Who do you think I am?”
“Stop changing the subject.”
“What even is the subject?”
“What about my looks has changed since September?”
You pause to survey him. “You… well. Your hair,” you admit.
Uncertain, Jimin reaches up to touch it. “My hair?”
“Yeah.” You nod, transfixed by his fingers. “It’s longer. It–” Cutting yourself off, your lips press together. “It looks nice, that’s all.”
Jimin hovers a second, wishing you’d continue but the moment is interrupted by your names being called. Turning his head, he spots Jisoo and Hoseok stepping onto the ice. Hoseok has both of Ari’s hands, while Jisoo has Hana.
Heart dropping, Jimin pieces two and two together. When you arrived on Thursday, the oddest expression crossed over your face at the twins. And later, while making cookies, you often were silent. Jimin chalked this up to the strangeness of your arrangement, but only now realizes the full implication. Ari and Hana must remind you of the false pregnancy, and the events which came after.
On instinct, Jimin takes your hand again. You glance down, surprised, but Jimin is already walking, pulling you with.
Although you stumble a little, you follow. “How do you walk in these things every day?” you demand, gesturing vaguely.
“We usually wear them on ice, not the sidewalk.”
“Hilarious.”
Arriving at the rink, Jimin removes his skate guards and holds out a hand. Handing them off to his mom, Jimin opens the gate to step onto the ice.
For a moment, the world fades. This is the reason he plummeted when he wasn’t sure if he could skate again. This feeling, this rush of freedom – Jimin has felt it on the ice ever since he can remember. Your hand is grounding, keeping him steady through the inner turmoil. Taking a deep breath, Jimin pushes off on one skate to bring you with.
Across the rink, Hoseok and Jisoo lead their daughters around. Seeing them, Jimin can’t help but smile. Jisoo was raised on the rink and can skate circles around most of their friend group.
“They’re so cute,” you sigh, following his gaze.
“Who? Jisoo and Hoseok?”
“I mean, sure,” you laugh, eyes crinkling. “But I was talking about Hana and Ari. No matter what your dad says, Hana is definitely going pro.”
Jimin sees a moment of realization cross your face. A few months ago, the idea of his dad disapproving would have crippled him. Now, Jimin feels sad, but he knows he’ll get through it.
Tightening his grip, he moves closer. “Want to know a secret?” Jimin says, skating backwards to face you. Both your hands end in his, letting him pull you.
“Obviously.”
Jimin grins, spinning you in a circle. “I got her lessons for Christmas with my old teacher. Just for fun, but I think she’ll enjoy it.”
“She absolutely will,” you say, smiling so wide, Jimin’s heart hurts. “Speaking of…”
Turning his head, Jimin spots Hoseok skate past with Ari. They wave as they go, Ari’s scarf flapping in the wind.
“So slow!” Hoseok calls, as Ari laughs. “Seems like that NHL thing really was a fluke, Park…”
Jimin’s brows lower, enough that you laugh and let go of his hand. “Go on,” you tease, skating backwards. “Catch up to them.”
His gaze lingers on you as you leave, watching you glide across the rink with ease. Turning around, you weave between patrons as the ends of your scarf flutter behind you. Jimin remembers the first time he brought you home for the holidays. Until then, you’d given him nothing but a hard time with his hockey fame. Pretending not to know the rules, the players or even the sport – although he often caught you Googling what certain terms meant.
The first time you came home, Jimin’s parents were the ones who suggested ice skating. Jimin was hesitant, thinking you didn’t know how, but once you stepped onto the rink, his jaw dropped. Although you aren’t a professional, you took lessons as a kid and somehow maintained your graceful ease. Somewhat embarrassingly, that was the morning he caved and broke his no-sex-in-the-childhood-home rule.
Body tightening, Jimin locks in on you as you skate away. Similar to seeing you wearing a new cosplay, watching you skate circles is enough to draw blood to a very specific part of his body. Pushing off with one foot, Jimin starts slowly around the edge of the rink. Several heads turn, but he ignores them entirely. Glancing over your shoulder, you notice him watching and laugh, purposefully crouching to gain momentum.
Lips twitching, Jimin adopts a similar stance and goes faster. He barely outpaces his slowest round at practice, but that’s fine. To everyone else, Jimin is practically flying. As one of the shortest players in the NHL, Jimin makes up for what he lacks in stride with his speed. Offensive positions require agility, something which happens to be his main strength. Wind cuts his face as Jimin makes a turn that would send lesser skaters sprawling.
Leisurely, he approaches you from the opposite side. Glancing over your shoulder, you frown, losing visibility.
“Gotcha,” Jimin says, grabbing around your waist to speak in your ear.
You yelp, twisting around to avoid tangling skates. “No fair,” you laugh, still in his arms. “You’re a professional. You cheated!”
“Which one is it, princess?” he teases, prompting a startled breath.
Licking your lower lip, you glance sideways and Jimin feels his body lock. Continuing to skate with his arms wrapped around you, he can barely decipher his train of thought. You face forward quickly, but not fast enough – Jimin knows that look. Your pupils are dilated, eyes wide with lips slightly parted. That look connects with his lower half in a way that makes skating distinctly uncomfortable.
“You can’t call me that,” you say under your breath.
Despite this, your hand tightens in his, not letting him go.
Jimin leans closer. “Call you what?”
“Any name other than the one chosen at birth.”
“Oh, I see. So, if I say Y/N.” Jimin dips his tone. “That’s fine?”
He feels your shiver, sliding his thumb along the side of your palm, and–
“Y/N!”
You start, jerking upright when Hana skates by holding onto Jisoo. Jimin falls behind you, somewhat embarrassed he let things go so far. As much as he wants to call you princess and get you to admit that you want him – he wants more than simply desire. Something like that happening would only muddy the waters.
Ari skates past as well, begging you to join, which you do with a dutiful nod. Jimin watches you go, skating to the edge of the rink and stepping outside. Pulling on guards, he clomps towards the hot chocolate stand to buy you a cup. While he waits, a familiar hat sidles up alongside him.
“Hi, mom,” he says, smiling downward.
Jimin’s mom wraps an arm around his waist and squeezes. A lump forms in Jimin’s throat, one he manages to swallow. The past year has been hard, forcing tough conversations to be held over the phone. Worse than losing his health, Jimin felt that he lost the support of his family.
“You two looked good out there,” his mom says, moving up in line.
Jimin lifts a brow. His mom never says something she doesn’t mean – a fact that he envies. Bringing your relationship up means she has something to say.
“Thanks,” he says, waiting for the rest.
“I hope we didn’t make you or Y/N uncomfortable last night. You know the last thing your father and I want is to pressure you.”
Shaking his head, Jimin moves forward. “You didn’t – don’t worry.”
“Mm.” Her lips thin. “What were you doing, going out late with Hoseok?”
Jimin’s eyes widen. Shit. Exactly like his mom, to lead with something soft, then go for the kill. A hockey strategy Jimin has employed often, with great success.
“We… I, uh…”
His mom pats him on the arm. “Every couple has their difficulties, Jimin. I’m not going to pretend every obstacle is surmountable – only you can decide that – but running away will solve nothing.”
Stunned by her accuracy, Jimin shakes his head. “I thought she wanted space,” he admits. This much, at least, is true.
“Space is good,” she agrees. “But only when asked for.”
The couple before them in line finishes paying and leaves. Somewhat dazed, Jimin moves up and orders three hot chocolates. Stepping aside to wait, Jimin turns to face his mom.
“That’s good advice,” he says slowly.
“I know.” She smiles. “That wasn’t what I wanted to talk about, though.”
Jimin lifts a brow. “No? Could’ve fooled me.”
She laughs. “No,” she admits, linking arms. “I wanted to check in on you, dear. You’ve seemed a little… well, off lately. It’s been a while since we last talked.”
Jimin can hear her concern, the utmost care she’s taking in having this conversation. His heart aches, knowing she must have rehearsed this talk often. Truthfully, Jimin didn’t mean to pull away from his family. It became almost second nature to avoid having an argument.
“Well,” Jimin says. “This season has been tough. I wasn’t sure how it’d be… being back on the ice. And I didn’t think you or dad would want to hear about that.”
Gripping his elbow, his mom turns him to face her. Her gaze has turned serious, an indent between her brows. “Jimin. I always want to hear about your day. Okay?”
He blinks several times.
“I’m sorry,” she exhales. “I know I wasn’t… I was scared, seeing you so badly injured last year.”
Jimin presses his lips together. “I know.”
“But,” she adds, fierce light to her gaze. “That’s not an excuse for making you feel this way. Your career will always scare us, Jimin.” She holds up a hand at the look on his face. “No, I want to be truthful. Your career will always scare us, but darling, I’ve watched you skate since you were three years old. I see your face on the ice. I’m sorry for asking you to give that up. It was selfish.”
Something rent apart mends in his chest. Before Jimin can respond, three hot chocolates are placed on the counter. Smiling, his mom accepts one and hands him the rest.
“Don’t feel like you have to say anything back,” she chides, guiding him towards the rink. “I only wanted to make sure you knew.”
“No – no.” Jimin shakes his head. “I’m trying more often to express how I feel. Mom… the way you and dad acted hurt me. For a while, it felt like everyone in the world was against me, and I didn’t know how to convince them. Or myself.”
His mom blinks several times. “I understand that,” she says quietly. “And I’m sorry, dear. I’m here for you, whatever you decide – I promise.”
“And dad?”
Lips twisting, she glances across the rink, where his dad sits on a bench. Not skating, simply watching Hana and Ari be towed around. Seeing this, Jimin understands what she means. His dad still has a long way to go.
“It’s okay, mom,” he murmurs.
She frowns. “No, it’s not. But he’ll come around, Jimin – I know it.”
“Yeah.” Releasing his breath, Jimin looks across the rink and catches your eye.
You grin widely, hand in hand with Ari as Jimin smiles. Something Dr. Nygard once said comes to mind. He told Jimin it was normal to want the attention of others, but it wasn’t healthy to shape one’s entire reality from it. For a long time, Jimin only believed he was good if other people said so. Only thought he could want something when other people agreed.
The moment you asked if you could take a break, all Jimin heard was you didn’t want him. Rather than stay and fight for what he believed in, he left and now, it’s up to him to convince you things are different. Being without you cast things in perspective. No – Jimin doesn’t need your approval to live the life he wants.
But the life he wants to live has you in it.
“I can’t believe you didn’t bring pain meds this weekend,” you huff, digging around in the endless void you call a purse.
Sheepish, Jimin shrugs. “My tailbone felt better. And then, I don’t know… sitting for hours on a flight didn’t help.”
Stunned, you glance upward. “You’ve been hurt since the flight, Jimin?” you ask, failing to keep your anger in check. “Why are you only telling me now?”
Amused, he crosses both arms. “Y/N,” Jimin tsks. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you cared.”
Simultaneously annoyed and aroused, your gaze darts towards your purse. Yanking free a bottle of ibuprofen, you shake out two pills. “Here,” you insist, thrusting them forward. “Take these and be quiet.”
Partly, your dismay stems from this being your fault. Jimin mentioned he was injured outside the house, but you were too mad to hear and made him sleep on the couch. And now, you’ll be the reason for Chicago’s losing streak. You can already hear the disparaging Twitter comments.
“Be quiet.” Jimin accepts the pills to throw them back, dry. “Thanks, Y/N.”
You stare, horrified. “That’s disgusting.”
“You get used to it.”
“Nope,” you say as you turn away. “I don’t think I would.”
Jimin chuckles from behind, catching up when you push open the door to the shop. Once everyone had their fill of ice-skating, you went with Jimin’s family to a lovely place for lunch. Afterwards, everyone broke into pairs for late Christmas shopping. It seems everyone is missing one gift or another, resulting in a need for covert alliances. Jisoo went off with her mom, while Hoseok went off with their dad and the twins.
The fact that you ended up alone with Jimin hasn’t escaped you. Briefly, you wondered if Jimin’s mom was behind this to give you some privacy but banished the notion. If this were the case, she likely would have just said so. The thought makes your face heat as you enter the shop.
Things today have been… different when it comes to Jimin. First, there was his apology in the car and then, the whole skate-tying incident. Merely the memory makes you shiver, recalling the feel of his hand on your ankle. Not to mention his cryptic phrasing, insisting he should have stayed – last night. Or possibly more.
Frustrated, you glance around the stationary shop. For once, you wish Jimin would just say what he means. Then again, you suppose two can play at that game. You weren’t exactly honest when you asked for a break.
Covertly, you glance sideways and find Jimin’s cheeks reddened. Infuriatingly, he looks even better than the day before. Darkly, you wonder if he sold his soul to a witch or is involved in some sort of Dorian Gray situation.
Turning around, Jimin catches you staring. “What are you thinking?” he asks, moving closer.
Rather than fan his ego, you ask something that’s been bothering you the past hour. “I saw you talking to your mom at the hot chocolate stand. What was that about?”
Jimin stiffens slightly, and you stifle a sigh.
Six months prior, Jimin would have brushed aside the question. In the spring, when his arguments with his dad were at their worst, you tried to distract him, but nothing succeeded. Jimin didn’t want to talk about anything, but in every conversation, his mind was elsewhere. You shouldn’t be surprised this is still true but somehow, you hoped.
“Hockey,” Jimin answers, and your face jerks up. “My mom said she was always going to worry about me playing, but she apologized for asking me to give it up. I think…” He pauses. “She may have been giving me her blessing to re-sign? Not that I need it,” he adds, a bit thoughtful.
“Jimin,” you gasp. “That’s amazing!”
“I know, right?” He smiles. “There’s still my dad, but it means so much to me that she said that. And… I mean, I can’t wait around for them to approve of everything, can I? I need to do what’s best for myself.”
Slowly, you nod. “You do.”
He meets your gaze. “I wanted to thank you, actually.”
“Thank me?”
“Yeah. You told me that, and I didn’t agree. I just… I wasn’t ready to hear it. In a way, when you left, it forced me to examine some hard truths about myself.”
Again, your heart sinks. You’re glad Jimin has his therapist and they’re helping to change his outlook. On the other hand, it sounds as though your leaving was an uptick in his life.
“Ah,” you say faintly. “I see.”
Jimin cocks his head. “When you said you wanted a break, all I heard was that the last person to believe in me no longer did. I know that’s not fair,” he adds, seeing your face. “But that’s how I felt. It was easier to fall, to hit rock bottom… than to pull myself out.”
You consider this – and him – for a long moment. In September, you really weren’t in a position to listen. The rapid elation and depression of thinking you were pregnant, coupled with fear from a year of anxiety, resulted in a potentially harmful reaction. Jimin deserved more than what you gave.
“I shouldn’t have come to you like that,” you say quietly. “It wasn’t fair of me to just… spring that on you without explanation. I should have asked you to talk. I’m sorry.”
“I don’t blame you, thinking I wouldn’t listen.”
“Maybe,” you say. “If I could go back though, I’d do things differently.”
“Me, too.”
For a while, you stand there and let the words sink in. Frequently since the break-up, you imagined what it would be like to see Jimin again. You wondered if he’d be angry, whether he’d ignore you or cast blame for what happened. Rarely did you imagine he’d apologize, or that he’d taken steps to address what happened this fall.
And maybe that was another mistake you both made – assuming the other person couldn’t change or wouldn’t want to.
Then, another thought occurs that makes your heart sink. Jimin’s mom is fine with him extending his contract. The entire reason you came here was to lessen the difficulty of two pieces of bad news at once. With one in the open, it’s not necessary to continue the charade.
For a moment, you debate whether to say something and instead, you turn smoothly and pluck a card from the pile.
“Look at this one,” you say, holding it up to the light. “Do you think Ari would like it?”
Glancing at this, Jimin tilts his head. The card is covered in glitter, to the point where the pictures and words are rendered obsolete.
“I think it’s perfect,” he says with a laugh. “Look, there’s another glitter one for Hana.”
Selecting them both, you head for the cashier. Jimin diverts to check out a large stack of board games in the back for his uncle.
“You check out,” he says, waving you onward. “I’ll meet you at the register in a minute.”
“All right,” you say, turning away.
Bypassing the colorful pens near the register, you place both cards on the counter. “Can I have a bag?” you ask as they ring you up.
The cashier nods, setting to work and you drum your finger against the counter. Outside, it’s started snowing. You can’t help but smile since it never seems to stop snowing in Garland for long. Hopefully, everything will clear up for tomorrow’s Christmas Eve party. Jimin’s family never misses, barring illness or high water.
Behind you, the bells above the door chime.
“Y/N?” A familiar – deeply grating – makes you go stiff. “Is that you? Oh my gosh!”
Smile frozen, you slowly turn. Vivian Wu shuts the door with one hand, casually unwinding a red scarf from her neck. Her hair is luscious and sleek, billowing over her perfect pea coat. When she walks towards the register, you notice cashmere gloves and boots that seem untouched by the salt on the roads.
Continuing to force a smile, you nod. “Hi, Vivian,” you say. “Yep, it’s me. Y/N.”
Coming to a stop, Vivian tilts her head. As the daughter of the former mayor and a politician herself, she’s practically royalty in a small town like Garland. Vivian also happens to be Jimin’s ex-girlfriend, dating him for three years in high school before they broke up when he was drafted. A fact Vivian never really accepted.
Her smile turns simpering. “How nice to see you,” she says, her tone suggesting the opposite. “Are you visiting the Parks for the holidays?”
You nod, suddenly glad for the charade. “Jimin and I are only here for a few days, unfortunately. Are you attending the Christmas Eve party tomorrow?”
“Wouldn’t miss it. The Parks are such a wonderful family. It’s a shame you only get to see them once a year.”
Although your stomach twists, you remind yourself it’s not worth it. Vivian only acts this way because she’s not dating Jimin – but then again, neither are you. Your heart sinks, realizing you might be looking at your future. Vivian will be thrilled to discover you’re no longer together. You never learned why she disliked you, only that she’s the only other girl Jimin dated seriously.
Your very first visit, you were introduced to her at the Christmas Eve party. Jimin warned you his ex-girlfriend would be there but failed to mention how beautiful – and vindictive – she was. Apparently, the break-up was Jimin’s idea and Vivian loathed having a total loss of control.
That night ended in a harried fight between you and Jimin, becoming the first time he ever said he loved you. Remembering that night, you can’t help but smile – a gesture that widens when Vivian scowls.
“It’s a shame,” you sigh. “I’m sure they appreciate having you looking out for them, though.”
Vivian sniffs, unable to find the insult. “Of course. Anything for Jimin. Speaking of” – she leans in, her Chanel perfume tickling your nose – “I’ve been watching his games and haven’t seen you lately? Is everything okay?”
You instantly stiffen. Despite what you told Jimin, you genuinely hadn’t thought many people would notice. Of course, Vivian did.
“No,” you say sweetly. “Just busy with work.”
“That’s a shame,” she says, her voice implying that, if it were her, Vivian would make herself available, no matter the cost.
You can’t help but bristle, though the scenario is moot. Neither of you are dating Jimin, so there’s nothing to compare. Still, even when you were together, Jimin never expected you to attend every game. That was his job, not yours, he would joke all the time. Both of you were adults with careers.
Tossing her hair, Vivian nods at your hand. “And I’m surprised, Y/N – no ring? Jisoo and Hoseok got engaged after what, two years? And you’ve been dating Jimin for…?”
“Four years,” you say stiffly.
“That’s right.” Her frown deepens. “Four.”
Your tongue is in danger of bleeding from how hard you bite. Vivian’s words have little to do with you, and more to do with the circumstances, but you can’t help but feel frustrated. And hurt.
Smoothly, an arm slides around your waist. “There you are,” murmurs Jimin, pulling you close. He brushes a kiss to your hair, glancing at Vivian. “You can blame that on me, Viv,” he says easily. “Haven’t found the perfect ring yet. None big enough. Or expensive enough.”
Your lips twitch. “Exactly,” you sigh, laying a hand on his chest. “He keeps proposing and I keep saying, ‘nope, try again.’”
Jimin chuckles, nuzzling into your hair. Vivian glances between you, looking vaguely nauseated. You can’t say you blame her.
“How nice,” she mutters.
“Anyways.” Glancing around, Jimin grabs your bag from the counter. “We really should get going. It was nice seeing you, Vivian.”
“You, too,” she huffs, brushing past to the board games.
As soon as she’s gone, your smile drops. “Thanks,” you exhale, slipping out from his arm. “I… well, I wasn’t sure what to say to her.”
Jimin catches you around the wrist.
You hesitate a long moment, then turn. Two days ago, the rules of the game were clear. No kissing with tongue. Jimin sleeps on the couch. And no need to pretend when no one else is around.
Gaze drifting upwards, you find yourself unable to decipher his expression. Slowly, Jimin pulls you closer to casually fix the scarf around your neck.
“Let’s head home, okay?” he murmurs.
You nod, not trusting yourself to respond to him with words. Outside, on the street, Jimin comes to a stop. Exhaling briskly, he turns sideways to face you.
“I just…”
Dropping your wrist, Jimin shoves a hand through his hair.
“Jimin, it’s okay,” you say, stepping closer. “I don’t blame how she acted – really. Being on the other side, like this…” Lamely, you shrug. “I guess I understand how Vivian feels. That’s all.”
Jimin stares at you, wide-eyed. You think that must be it, and attempt to walk past, but he grabs your wrist again.
“Y/N,” he says sternly. “You are nothing like Vivian. Okay?”
You blink, glancing down at his hand. That’s twice in two minutes he’s touched you like this. Gaze snapping upward, you frown.
“Am I?” you demand. Stepping closer, you stand nearly nose-to-nose. “We’re both your exes, Jimin. I can’t imagine how much it would hurt to watch you parade someone else around town. God, just thinking about you with someone else drives me crazy. I’d be an asshole to future me, too.”
Dipping his head, Jimin inhales. “That’s not going to happen,” he murmurs into your ear. “I wouldn’t be worried about that, if I were you.”
“What does that –”
“Y/N! JIMIN!”
Adorable interruptions seem to be your curse this weekend. Tiny arms crush your knees as, looking down, you find Hana grinning.
Bending, you scoop her onto one hip. “What’s this?” you gasp when she hands you a bag. “Did you buy me a Christmas present all by yourself?”
“Mhm,” she says proudly. “We got you new gloves to wear when you watch Uncle Jimin play.”
Hoseok groans as he arrives. “Girls, that was supposed to be a secret. Remember? Y/N was going to unwrap the gloves on Christmas.”
Ari frowns, tugging on Hoseok’s coat. “But then the present would tell her, not us.”
You can’t help but laugh as Jisoo and her mom walk up behind you.
“What’d we miss?” Jisoo asks, taking Hana.
“Hoseok was explaining the concept of presents,” says Jimin.
“Oh, good. Any success?”
“No,” Hoseok grumbles.
Everyone laughs, and Jimin’s dad flips his keys. “Are we all set?” he asks. “I thought I’d make hot chocolate back at the house.”
“Yeahhh!” yell the twins, immediately taking off.
Snow starts to fall as you leave the town square. More holiday music plays on the drive, and you find yourself dutifully humming along. Despite what you said, there are several noticeable differences between you and Vivian. You might both be his exes, but Jimin only asked one of you home for Christmas.
And only one of you has the opportunity now to make things right.
By Saturday evening, Jimin regrets asking Hoseok for help. He might mean well, but Jimin’s brother-in-law is the least covert person on the face of the planet. Indeed, he’s done more to detract from Jimin’s goal than to add to it. All day, he’s tried to create alone time for you and Jimin with mixed results.
At dinner, Hoseok leaves a chair open next to Jimin – only for Ari to claim it. Afterwards, the family gathers to watch a movie and once again, Hoseok tries to set him up on the sofa. Unfortunately, Hoseok miscounts, and Jisoo is forced to squish between Jimin and the armrest. Little romance can happen sandwiched between you and his sister.
That’s not to say no romance, though. Ever since the stationary store, you seem to have forgotten your rule about physical contact. While watching the Grinch, you curl into Jimin’s side, holding his hand under a mountain of blankets. Jimin strokes his thumb over the back of your hand, trying and failing not to let his mind wander.
He can’t stop thinking about you and Vivian, knowing the situation is his doing. When he broke up with Vivian, he did it over the phone and barely gave her answers to the questions she posed. He didn’t know how to admit that he wasn’t in love, so instead, he made excuses about distance and hockey. It’s no wonder Vivian hovers now, waiting for you to make any misstep.
The thought of you returning to an ex is enough to make Jimin go wild. His arm tenses on the sofa, despite knowing there’s no reason for him to be mad. Still, it’s all he can think about when the movie ends and you get ready for bed. Bringing his stuff down the hall, Jimin lets you use the bathroom within his room.
The door remains shut when he returns, so Jimin busies himself with making the couch comfortable. He’s debating adding a third pillow when the bathroom door opens, and you step outside.
Jimin nearly drops the holiday pillow he holds. Honestly, he should receive awards for his self-control this weekend. Once again, you’ve decided to clothe yourself – or not clothe yourself – in the skimpiest nightgown known to man. Pink lace skims your generous curves, something you seem oblivious of while crossing the room.
Jimin’s jaw clenches. “What time do you want to wake up tomorrow?”
Gaze skipping past him, you land on the sofa. “You’re not seriously planning on sleeping there?” you demand, folding your arms over your chest.
He forces himself not to stare at your delicious cleavage. “This feels like a trick question.”
“Jimin!” You throw up both hands. “You’re injured! I feel bad enough you had to take painkillers this morning.”
“Oh. Well, don’t feel bad,” Jimin says, bending for the pillow.
“Jimin!”
“What?” He half-laughs as he straightens. “There’s only one bed in this room, and my parents would know if you slept anywhere else. This is fine, Y/N.”
Chewing your lower lip, you glance down. “Unless…”
He waits. “Are you offering to sleep on the couch?”
Your gaze snaps upward. “No.”
A tinge of awareness spreads down his spine as Jimin slowly glances between you and the bed. “Are you…” Jimin hesitates, not wanting to break the fragile truce between you. “Are you offering to break rule number one?”
“Technically, you were the one who offered to sleep on the couch,” you point out. “All I said was we didn’t have to pretend while we were alone.”
“Y/N.”
“Alright, fine!” you huff. “I don’t want to sleep in the same bed. But I’m… retracting that rule, for the good of humanity. Only the bed part,” you warn, shifting your weight.
Seeing you slightly flustered wakes a sleeping beast in his chest. Jimin takes a step closer, realizing you’re not immune to his proximity.
“Are you sure?” he asks, coming to a stop. “I don’t want to take advantage of the situation. I can sleep on the couch, Y/N, and be fine. I promise.”
“Oh?” you scoff, turning around. “And have me be blamed for injuring the ‘best offensive player in the NHL?’ No thanks.”
Jimin stares at your retreating backside. “Y/N Y/L/N,” he says, slowly following you towards the bed. “Have you been watching my games on TV?”
Your fingers freeze on the comforter. “I… I’ve seen a few,” you say, evasive as you pull back the sheets. Slipping beneath the covers, you pointedly avoid eye contact.
Unable to contain his grin, Jimin folds his arms. He doesn’t miss the way your gaze darts towards his biceps, lingering longer than is strictly necessary.
“How many?” Jimin demands, moving closer.
Gaze snapping upward, you scowl. “Enough to know you’re doing disgustingly well. And that every person with half a brain has a poster telling you so on the other side of the glass.”
Coming to a stop, his brows sketch upwards. “You’ve seen the posters?”
Jimin has seen the posters but then again, he’s the one stepping onto the ice every night. Some of the content has been downright suggestive, which it seems you know from your perturbed expression. Jimin knows it isn’t healthy to savor your jealousy – on the other hand, he’ll take anything he can get when it comes to you. Jealousy implies there’s something to be jealous of.
“They’re creative,” you mutter. “I’ll give them that.”
Jimin’s grin widens. Crossing to the opposite side, he pulls back the covers. “I’ve kept track of you, too,” he admits as he joins you.
Startled, you turn over to face him. “You did?”
“Yeah.” Turning off the light, Jimin rolls sideways. “I liked your last outfit. Sundry Sydney?” he says with a snort. “The sticker was brilliant.”
“Some people thought it wasn’t slutty enough.”
“Sundry Sydney is more than a pleasure bot,” Jimin says, quoting you word for word. “She can do everything – or anything, as she later revises.”
You laugh, delighted. “You remember.”
“Of course.” Jimin softens. “I remember everything when it comes to you.”
In the moonlight, he watches your features change. Hesitance follows want in a way that makes his heart ache. Jimin did that. He put this space between you and, almost unthinking, he shifts closer.
“Sorry,” Jimin murmurs when his knee brushes your shin.
You blink. “It’s okay.”
Jimin is aware of each time you inhale, the rise and fall of your chest. The last time he slept next to you, he took it for granted. Now, he memorizes every single detail – your lashes on your cheeks, the weight of your body, the scent of your conditioner from across the pillow. If this is the last night Jimin can lie with you, he wants to remember.
Slowly, the sound of your breathing lulls his eyes shut.
Then next time they open, Jimin only feels heat. Warm, silken heat as he opens one eye and is immediately accosted by the sight of your bare shoulder. Stiffening, Jimin realizes his arm is draped over the curve of your waist. Your face nestles in his chest, fingers curled neatly into the fabric of his t-shirt.
Worse, your nightgown has ridden upward during the night, and Jimin can feel your bare thigh pressed to his. Exhaling softly, he tries to pull back. Under no circumstances can you wake and find him draped over you like the worst kind of leech. You let him sleep in the bed, not sleep with you, which is a crucial difference.
Unfortunately, his attempt at removing his arm only succeeds in rolling you closer. Jimin pauses, reevaluating as your curves press to his. When a mumbled sigh leaves your lips, he nearly gives up.
There’s only so much a person can be expected to ignore. Pressed to your soft skin, memories of past mornings come pouring back. If you were dating, Jimin would be figuring out ways to wake you up with his tongue. As it is, all he can do is close his eyes and pray for his hard-on to die.
“Jimin,” you mumble, pressing closer.
His eyes open. The movement brings your thighs flush together, and there’s no mistaking now, that was his name on your lips. Staring downward, Jimin wonders what you’re dreaming of, and whether or not he’s made an appearance.
Mumbling something, your eyes open. When your gazes connect, Jimin expects you to recoil, waits for the moment you realize where you are and withdraw.
Instead, you blink in a sleepy haze. Tentative, you move your hand higher and – Jimin holds his breath – lightly stroke your thumb down the center of his chest. Jimin hardly dares move as your gaze drops to his lips. Slowly – so, so slowly – you shift your hips forward and part your thighs.
Exhaling roughly, Jimin’s fingers find your thigh to drag over his waist. His hard cock fits snugly against your warm core.
“Oh,” you whimper.
Losing all sense of composure, Jimin tightens his grip and rolls his hips against you.
“Oh,” you moan, your head tipping back.
Dipping his chin, Jimin drags his nose up the heat of your throat. Open-mouthed, he ghosts over the place where your neck meets your collarbone. Panting, you roll your hips as his grip on you tightens. Each line of your body melts against his, driving him crazy.
Moving lower, Jimin brushes the silk hem of your nightgown. Your breath catches when his thumb slips beneath, drawing teasing circles against your inner thigh. One of your hands entwines in his hair, tugging in a way that makes him see red.
“Ah, fuck,” Jimin groans. Grasping your ass with both hands, he rolls on his back and brings you with.
Surprised, you land on top of him. “Jimin – oh,” you breathe when he thrusts upward, pressing his cock against your underwear.
Gaze somewhat hazy, you push yourself upright. Jimin moans at the sight of your thighs spilled to either side, your delicious breasts barely contained by the silk. Not looking away, keeping your hands on his chest, you slowly begin to move your hips. Jimin’s hands slide up to frame your waist, helping you get yourself off on his cock.
It won’t take long, he realizes with some shock. Whatever dream you had got you halfway, based on the way your thighs tremble above him. Lips parting, you moan his name and rock your hips faster. Gripping you tightly, Jimin thrusts upward. His fingers slip down your thighs, edging towards your center, when –
The doorbell rings downstairs.
Instantly, you freeze, your chest rising and falling. Jimin opens his mouth, but before he can utter a single word, you swing your leg off him.
“I – sorry,” you blurt, scooting to stand. “That… shouldn’t have happened.”
Jimin’s mouth shuts. No, probably not, but he also can’t bring himself to regret what just happened. Unlike you, it seems.
“I’m… just going to change,” you rush, practically fleeing into his bathroom. The door slams shut behind you, leaving Jimin alone in the bed.
Wearily, he collapses. “Fuck,” he mutters.
The shower turns on, and his imagination runs wild, replaying the past five minutes. Groaning, Jimin rolls over to stiffly stand. Yanking a sweater and jeans from his closet, he heads for the other bathroom to take care of himself. It barely takes a minute before he comes against the shower wall, chest heaving to stare at the water droplets.
With a clear head, Jimin can feel the full weight of dread in his chest. He moved too fast. Even with you instigating, Jimin shouldn’t have pushed things as far as they went. If he knows you at all – and Jimin thinks that he does – you’re probably freaking out in a separate shower. He needs to assure you as soon as possible that he wants this. Well, he wants you. Not just the physical parts.
Exhaling deeply, Jimin finishes showering and turns off the spray. Toweling himself dry, Jimin dresses as fast as he can to head downstairs. He’s nearly at the kitchen when a hand grasps his elbow, yanking him sideways and shoving him in the front closet.
Stumbling slightly, Jimin turns around and finds himself face-first with Hoseok. Flicking the light switch, Hoseok shuts the door and exhales.
Jimin looks past him. “What are you doing?” he asks, faintly alarmed. “Is everything okay?”
Shaking his head, Hoseok folds his arms across his chest. “No – definitely not. Your dad knows, man.”
“Knows what?”
“He knows,” Hoseok says with a pointed look. “He knows you’re planning to extend your hockey contract.”
Jimin’s heart sinks to the floor.
Coming to his senses, he shakes his head. “How?” Jimin demands. “How does my dad know?”
“Not sure.” Hoseok’s lips twist. “I think he went into town this morning, and some of his buddies told him. Apparently, news of the extension leaked online.”
Jimin is utterly still, already coming up with choice words for his agent. He knew this could happen, despite his request to keep this quiet. Sometimes teams leak the news to increase the pressure on players. Other times, another team in the league does it to spur a trade. Jimin hoped he’d have until the new year but apparently, the choice has been made for him.
“Well, fuck,” he mutters.
Hoseok just nods. “Yeah. I heard your mom and dad talking about it when I came downstairs.”
Jimin pauses, glancing at the door. “Have you just… been waiting out in the hall for me?”
“Yeah. I kept pretending to forget things in our room. Jisoo may or may not have caught on.”
“Great.” Jimin decides to push past this. “Did he… I mean, how did my dad seem?”
Hoseok frowns. “Quiet. I don’t know. He went into his office and didn’t come out until your mom started breakfast.”
Shit. Running a hand through his hair, Jimin exhales. “Alright,” he says. “Well, I guess there’s no point in putting things off.”
“Probably not.”
Nodding, Jimin turns to pull open the door and Hoseok’s hand lands on his shoulder. “Yeah?” Jimin asks, turning around.
“Just letting you know that I’m here for you,” Hoseok says, stepping into the hall. “I may be married to your sister, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”
“Thanks, Hobi,” Jimin says quietly.
Squaring his shoulders, he follows him down the hall and into the kitchen. All voices cease. His mom’s spatula clatters against the bowl, and Jisoo falls silent at the kitchen table. Even you turn to face him, a mug of coffee in hand.
Jimin moves forward. “Hey,” he says tentatively. “Good morning.”
“Morning, Jimin!” says his mom, shooting a look at his dad.
Jimin’s dad pushes himself up from the table. “Jimin, can we talk?” he asks, gesturing towards the door. Based on his tone, this isn’t so much a request as a statement.
Although his stomach twists, Jimin manages a nod. “Sure, dad.”
He leaves the room, not looking behind to see if Jimin follows. Taking a deep breath, Jimin follows. When he nears the door, he feels a hand on his elbow. Gripping him tightly, you turn Jimin to face you.
“Hey,” you murmur. “Whatever your dad says – I’m here, okay? I believe in you, Jimin. No matter what.”
There’s steel to your voice, making him believe every word. No hint of weirdness from this morning remains, unraveling an unknown knot in his chest.
“Thank you,” Jimin rasps, gaining the strength to follow his dad.
The door to his dad’s study is as familiar as Jimin’s childhood, known as the only place off-limits to play in. Entering now, Jimin shuts the door and turns around.
His dad sits on the edge of his desk, hands clasped, and face lined. Jimin steps closer, about to plead his case but his dad holds up a hand.
“I think it’s best if I spoke first,” he says quietly.
Jimin stops, then nods.
Exhaling lowly, his dad drags a hand down his face. For the first time, Jimin notices moisture in the corners of his eyes when he looks up. “I heard this morning your contract is up for extension.”
Jimin decides honesty is best. “It is, yeah.”
His dad swallows, and then nods. “When my friends told me… I told them they must be mistaken. I said you would’ve said if that was true, and then they showed me the article…” Steadying himself, his dad continues. “I spent a lot of time this morning thinking about this past year.”
“Oh?” Jimin finds his voice. “What, specifically?”
His dad’s expression shifts. “Jimin, I’m sorry. I never… I never wanted to create a relationship where you couldn’t tell me things. Of course, I don’t want you to get hurt on the ice” – his voice strengthens – “but I know you. I know my son, and you don’t start things you don’t finish. You worked hard this past year to prove everyone wrong – to prove me wrong, and I couldn’t be prouder.”
His voice breaks slightly and, hearing this, Jimin rushes forward. Pulling his dad into a tight hug, Jimin lets out a sigh that sounds more like a sob. They stay there like that, their first hug in nearly a year as Jimin slowly exhales.
For so long, he’s wanted to hear those words from his dad. They feel good, but oddly enough, it feels even better to know he didn’t need this. Jimin has worked hard this fall to divorce self-approval from others. It will always take effort to maintain, but progress has been made, and that makes Jimin happier than anything else.
Pulling back, Jimin’s dad smiles. “We can go back now,” he laughs. “I know your mother made waffles. I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you. And you can talk to me about the contract if you want. There’s no need to keep things from us any longer.”
“Thanks, dad,” Jimin says.
His dad nods once, pulling open the door to gesture at the hall. As Jimin follows him out, you’re the first person he thinks of. Your face, saying you’d support him no matter what. This morning when you sighed his name into his t-shirt. Jimin recalls all the seconds, minutes, days he wanted you by his side this fall and knows he needs to tell you what he wants.
Even if you break his heart, Jimin needs you to know that it’s yours.
Something has changed since this morning.
Well, obviously something has changed. You woke up with your body flush against Jimin, one of your thighs flung over his delicious ass. You nearly came just from dry humping him, already close from the dirty dream you were having – about Jimin, no less. Something has changed though, and that something is you – because you’re no longer concerned about what might happen. About what hurt might befall you if you confess and it fails.
You want Jimin. You love Jimin, you never stopped, and you need him to know that. You just have to figure out how.
That’s proving to be the hard part. Jimin returned with his dad at breakfast, looking relaxed for the first time all trip, and his mom immediately suggested wrapping the gifts. You helped the twins wrap all morning, glitter getting everywhere, and once lunch ended, you needed to get ready for the Christmas Eve party.
Trying to cut down on time, you got ready down the hall – which proved to be a mistake, since it meant you didn’t see Jimin until going downstairs. He went all out this year, and part of you wonders if he did it on purpose. His hair has been slicked, styled away from his face in a wholly devastating manner. He’s wearing a taupe suit he once wore for an interview, a dark turtleneck beneath hugging his pecs in a way that’s distracting.
You only drove two cars tonight, and somehow you ended up in a van with Jimin and his parents. Not that you mind their company – you love Jimin’s parents, but his outfit is rated NC-17. For twenty minutes, you’re forced to sit next to Jimin and not say how good he looks in that suit.
Even at the party, your attention is immediately monopolized by neighbors and friends. Forcing a smile, you nod at the appropriate times in conversation, but your attention is elsewhere. It’s not anyone’s fault, but they just can’t compete with your ex-boyfriend. Slash pretend boyfriend. Slash man you want to be your boyfriend.
An hour into the party, you excuse yourself for the bathroom, shutting yourself in a stall to lower the lid and sit down. From there, you pull out your phone and scroll through the texts.
Namjoon: you did WHAT?! [7:14 PM]
Yoongi: they dry humped, Namjoon [7:16 PM]
Namjoon: Yes, I ‘m aware – my exclamation was one of shock, not confusion [7:17 PM]
Namjoon: what does this mean?? [7:17 PM]
Yoongi: Isn’t it obvious? They’re getting back together. Why else would she fly halfway across the country for Christmas? [7:18 PM]
Scowling darkly, you text them both back.
Y/N: excuse me, I never said anything about getting back together [7:21 PM]
Namjoon: you didn’t need to – Yoongi is right, Y/N [7:21 PM]
Yoongi: per usual [7:22 PM]
Namjoon: you said when you left that you were scared to get hurt because you still had feelings for him [7:22 PM]
Namjoon: well, this is you, having feelings [7:22 PM]
Namjoon: and possibly getting hurt [7:22 PM]
Your scowl only deepens.
Y/N: I’m not going to get hurt [7:23 PM]
Yoongi: … has he said anything about getting back together? [7:23 PM]
You stare at the screen several moments before you respond.
Y/N: no… not exactly [7:24 PM]
Yoongi’s ellipses blink, then disappear and are replaced by Namjoon.
Namjoon: look – no one is saying he won’t ask you, okay? Just… maybe you should talk before dry humping him again. Make sure you’re both on the same page about what this all means [7:25 PM]
Yoongi: what Joon said [7:25 PM]
Yoongi: also – where are you? Hasn’t Jimin noticed you’re glued to your phone? [7:25 PM]
Y/N: no. I’m texting you from the bathroom, smartass [7:26 PM]
Namjoon: go back out there and have fun [7:27 PM]
Y/N: consider it done [7:27 PM]
Returning your phone to your purse, you use the bathroom and freshen up. Once you return to the party, you take a deep breath and scan the crowd.
This year’s Christmas Eve party is at the local ski lodge. The main lobby has been decorated within an inch of its life, the focal point being a gargantuan Christmas tree. Glass windows at the back overlook the ski slopes, butter-yellow light disappearing to shadows.
A waiter walks by with a tray of champagne, and you snag a glass for something to do with your hands.
“Y/N!”
A familiar voice calls, but before you can turn, Jungkook wraps you into a hug. Jungkook Jeon is both Jimin’s childhood friend and his NHL faux rival. Being from the same town, the media love to compare them at every turn – something that’s become a fun rivalry. The last time you hung out, his hair was much longer. Tonight though, he’s wearing all black with a sharp undercut.
“How have you been?” Jungkook grins, pulling back. He’s careful not to mess up your hair or dress, for which you’re grateful.
“Good,” you say with a laugh. “What about you? I hear the Kraken are leading the division – you must be happy.”
Jungkook’s smile disappears. “Not the conference, though.”
You can’t help but laugh, knowing his perfectionism rivals only Jimin. “You’re too hard on yourself.”
“Someone’s got to be. And besides,” he adds, glancing over your shoulder. “It’s not like we have the best offensive player in the league,” Jungkook calls in a sing-songy voice.
A familiar arm wraps around your waist. “Did you two watch the same special, or something?” Jimin gripes, brushing his lips to your cheek. “There are so many good players, calling anyone ‘the best’ is kind of pointless.”
“I believe they totaled your points,” you say, much to Jungkook’s amusement.
“I leave you alone for five minutes,” Jimin sighs with a shake of his head. “And of course, Jungkook swoops in to steal you.”
“Can you blame me?” Jungkook winks, drinking from his champagne. “Look at Y/N! If he ever messes up, Y/N, give me a call,” he jokes, and you feel Jimin stiffen.
“That won’t be necessary,” you say, leaning your head on Jimin’s shoulder.
He relaxes ever so slightly, squeezing your waist with one hand. Jungkook grimaces at this, trading his nearly empty champagne glass for a full one.
“You two are annoyingly cute,” he says, but he grins. “Seriously, though, you’ve been putting in work, Jimin. It’s impressive.”
“Thanks.” Jimin nods, toasting his glass.
“Have you seen Tae and Seokjin?” Jungkook asks, standing on tiptoe. “I keep getting cornered by moms wanting me to date their daughters, and I could use some high ground.”
You can’t help but laugh as Jimin jerks his thumb. “Alcove off the balcony. Everyone is gathered there – I was just coming to get Y/N.”
“Perfect,” Jungkook says as he leaves. “I’ll meet you there.”
Once he’s gone, Jimin shakes his head. Taehyung and Seokjin are two of their closest high school friends. Seokjin is currently single, but Taehyung got married early this year. Unfortunately, you couldn’t attend their wedding, but the ceremony looked beautiful, and you sent a gift.
Setting down his champagne, Jimin grabs your hand and tugs you into a corner. Turning to face you, his cheeks flush slightly pink.
“Hey,” he murmurs, looking you up and down. “Have I said how beautiful you look tonight?”
Heat stirs in your belly. “Not yet, no.”
“Well, you do,” Jimin says, his gaze dark.
Admittedly, you were a bit unfair in packing this dress. Your original intention in buying it was to wear New Year’s Eve and post jealousy-inducing photos on Instagram. Instead, you’re wearing it here with Jimin on your arm. Silky and emerald, the dress clings like a second skin, dropping in the back to a point just above your ass. Slightly impractical, but you borrowed a coat from Jisoo.
Jimin’s fingers ghost over the silk. “You deserve to hear it again,” he murmurs, his voice husky. “You’re being kind of unfair to everyone else at this party.”
“How so?”
“Poor Jungkook will have to find someone else.”
Your upper lip twitches, stepping closer. “Is that what you’re worried about?” you coo, sliding a hand up his chest. “That I’ll take Jungkook up on his offer? Not interested,” you say, allowing your gaze to linger. “You, on the other hand – that suit is designed to ruin hearts.”
“Only hearts?”
“Mm.” Softly, your voice drops. “Why? Were you planning on ruining something else?”
“Only if you asked nicely.”
Your eyes widen, stunned and Jimin smiles. His hands grip your body, cedar and black pepper scent wrapping around you and doing its best to make you come undone.
“Come on.” Taking your hand, Jimin turns away. “Let’s go and say hi to my friends. Everyone was asking earlier where you were.”
Slightly dazed by his former implication, you nod and follow. Jimin leads you through the crowd, bypassing everyone who attempts small talk. By the time you reach the alcove, Jungkook is already seated.
“What happened to you two?” he asks, smushed between Taehyung and Seokjin on the couch. “Making out in a corner? Couples are the worst,” he mutters to Taehyung before realizing who he’s talking to. “Oh. Right. Never mind.”
Taehyung’s wife, Alya, laughs from her armchair. “No comment. We may have been making out in a corner earlier.”
A lone strand of hair falls over Taehyung’s forehead. “Guilty,” he says, raising his glass.
Seokjin pokes Jungkook in the side. “If you hate couples so much, why are you sitting here,” he groans. “This is a two-person sofa.”
“Exactly!” Jungkook says. “It’s weird for you and Taehyung to sit together, since he’s married. I’m actually saving you.”
Settling onto an armchair, Jimin pulls you down with him to sit on his lap. His arm snakes around your front, pulling you backwards to rest.
“Anyways.” Jimin looks around. “How is everyone?”
Hoseok and Jisoo appear from the hall. “Oh, thank god,” Jisoo says, sitting between you and Alya. “This area was a complete sausage fest the last time we swung by.”
“Hey!” Seokjin cries. “I offered you a drink.”
“You offered her your drink,” Hoseok says drily, sitting next to his wife. “Doesn’t count.”
Jisoo leans over her armrest. “Y/N,” she hisses. “Do you have a tampon? They didn’t fit in my purse, and of course, my body waited until now to announce we’re not pregnant.”
You stifle a laugh. “Yes, of course,” you say, handing her your purse. “Left inner pocket – go wild.”
“Thanks.” Flashing a smile, Jisoo stands from the chair and disappears down the hall.
Jimin holds you against him, his thumb lightly stroking the ridge of your hip. Your entire body melts, perception heightened at each point he touches.
“So.” Jungkook turns towards Taehyung. “What did you get Alya for Christmas, Tae? Aside from the wedding, obviously.”
Alya laughs and sips her champagne. “Go on, tell them.”
Taehyung turns red. “It’s embarrassing!”
“What is?” Jungkook asks, glancing between them.
“It’s not.” Alya shakes her head. “Taehyung was so excited about the gift he gave it to me early. This morning, he surprised me by having our wedding bands engraved. I wanted to do it last year, but it didn’t fit in our budget. Anyways, he borrowed my band to clean it and got it done! I didn’t suspect a thing!”
“That’s amazing,” you say. “I love that idea.”
“Thanks, Y/N.” Taehyung smiles.
“What about you, Jimin?” Seokjin jostles Jungkook to face him. “What did you get Y/N this year? What is it – four years?”
Jimin tenses slightly, so you jump in. “Oh, we decided not to do gifts this year,” you hasten. “There’s been a lot going on, and we –”
“I got Y/N a gift,” Jimin interrupts. “But it’s a secret until tomorrow.”
Surprised, you crane your head sideways to see him. “You got me a gift?”
He nods. “Yeah. Is that alright?”
“Mhm.” You shift in his lap. “I, um… actually got you something, too.”
Tightening his grip on your waist, Jimin keeps you still. “Oh?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see.”
You bought Jimin a gift months ago, and never returned it. When you were packing, you decided at the last minute to throw it inside – along with this dress and the skimpy night clothes.
“I want to know!” Seokjin blurts. “Just whisper it in my ear, Y/N. I won’t tell.”
You laugh, facing forward. “Sorry, Seokjin. That’s confidential. Mr. Kim” – you nod at Taehyung – “may not respect the sanctity of Santa Claus, but I’m not risking getting coal in my stocking.”
Softly, Jimin laughs, nuzzling your shoulder with his lips. It hasn’t escaped you that he stilled your hips to conceal his reaction to you on top. Something which distracts you more than it should.
“Get off,” Seokjin groans, pushing Jungkook upward. “I swear, you make this party worse every year.”
You grin, watching their antics as Jungkook walks off. Taller and heavier than Jimin, you know he only stood from the seat because he wanted to. Wandering to a free armchair, Jungkook flops down.
“Where’s your Christmas spirit?” he asks, waving his glass of champagne. “I was just about to tell you the holidays aren’t so bad with you around.”
Alya and Hoseok both laugh, and Taehyung shakes his head. Conversation then devolves to the Seattle Kraken, and Jimin’s fingers dig into the silk at your waist.
“Did you mean that?” he murmurs, lips at your ear. “Did you actually get me a present? Because it’s fine if you didn’t. I sprung this trip on you, and we’re not – well, you know…”
“I know,” you say back. “But yes, I got you a gift. Actually.” You pause. “I bought it for you a while ago and held onto it.”
“Ah.” Jimin pauses. Slipping his thumb beneath your chin, he turns you to face him. “Y/N. I just wanted to say –”
“Hey, Y/N, someone’s calling you,” announces Jisoo, walking into the room. Reaching into your purse, she pulls out your phone and frowns. “Who’s Mike?”
Your stomach drops through the floor.
Jimin’s body tenses beneath you, and you fight for a way out of the growing panic. Worse, everyone else seems to have heard, since all gazes lock on you. Struggling to breathe, you stand abruptly and snatch your phone.
“No one,” you blurt, grabbing your purse from a blinking Jisoo. “I mean, Mike’s a client. I should probably take this call outside.”
Before they can respond, you grab your phone and rush off. Brushing past Jisoo, you ignore her look of concern. Loudly, your heels click on the wooden floor. Whispers rise in your exit, but you ignore them, face burning as you turn your phone over in your hand.
Reaching the foyer, you stumble to a halt and glance overhead at the mistletoe. Purposefully side-stepping this, you see one missed call. In addition, there are several missed texts from Yoongi and Namjoon, but these you ignore.
Fingers trembling, you swipe open the text from Mike Davis.
Mike: hey, Y/N! I was doing laundry and found your Ventra card in my pocket. I think I grabbed yours by mistake. Want to meet up and exchange in the new year? [8:10 PM]
Mike: you know, I had a really great time meeting you the other night [8:13 PM]
You grip your phone tighter. He can’t be serious. The date ended so poorly, you were surprised the bartender didn’t film and put it on TikTok. Mike can’t actually want to hang out again. Orthink reaching out to you on Christmas Eve would be a good idea.
Brow lowered, your fingers punch the keyboard.
Y/N: Hey, Mike. You can keep the Ventra card, no worries [8:25 PM]
Deleting his number, you exhale in relief and turn around – only to run into Jimin, who stands right behind. Close enough to have seen every word on your phone.
Jimin’s fists clench, having read both the texts. There’s no reason to be jealous, he reminds himself with zero success. You aren’t dating, so it’s perfectly reasonable for you to text another guy. The fact that this Mike guy hasn’t come up is none of Jimin’s concern. And yet.
“So.” Voice cold, Jimin tilts his head. “Mike is…?”
He pauses for you to complete the blank, knowing you won’t say just a client.
“He’s…” Shifting, you avoid eye contact. “Someone I know.”
“Please.”
Your expression shifts, meeting his gaze. “Well, what do you want me to say?” you demand, stepping closer. “Tell your friends a client called me. They’ll buy it, it’ll be fine.”
“It’s not fine,” Jimin growls. “And I could care less what my friends think.”
Bewildered, you stare. “I don’t understand. That’s literally the entire reason you asked me to come here this weekend. So you wouldn’t have to admit we broke up.”
Jimin’s heart flatlines. “Is that really what you think?” he demands, reaching out. Catching your wrist, he pulls you even closer. “You thought I was so terrified of explaining my contract to my family, I couldn’t possibly tell them we broke up, as well?”
Your brows furrow deeper. “That’s what you told me, so, yes. That’s what I thought.”
“Right. And is it serious?”
“Is what serious?”
“This guy – Mike. Are you two serious?”
Your jaw hangs open a second before it snaps shut. “Are we – no, Jimin,” you say, the words dripping with derision. “We’re not serious. You and I broke up only three months ago! Do you really think I managed to move on so quickly?”
“I don’t know,” Jimin admits, even as his head spins. “I didn’t–”
“I mean, god,” you exhale, ripping your hand from his grasp. “I go on one date, and somehow, I’m the bad guy. Never mind that you’re the one who wanted to break up,” you add, whirling around to jab him in the chest. “You” – a second prod – “were the one who asked to break up!”
Closing his hand around your finger, Jimin tugs you forward. “I know,” he says hoarsely. “I know I messed up, Y/N. I know I have no right to be jealous, but I am. I’m jealous, and I’m wrong, and I don’t even fucking care because I miss you, Y/N. I know you’re right here, but I miss you.”
Something in your gaze breaks. “I miss you, too, Jimin.”
“I know I didn’t fight hard enough to keep you back then. I should have, and I can’t say how much I regret it.” Sliding his hands up your arms, Jimin grips your elbows. “I don’t care if you went out with one guy or a hundred. I asked you to come here this weekend because I wanted you. I was too afraid to ask you outright, so I used my career as an excuse.”
“An… excuse?”
Gripping you tighter, Jimin exhales. “I mean, everyone knows. My parents know I’m extending my contract, and they’re fine with it. I still don’t want to tell them we broke up.”
“Well, sure.” Your gaze darts across him. “Because you don’t want to spoil Christmas – right?”
“That’s not why.”
“Then, why?”
Before he can lose his nerve, Jimin slides his arm around your waist and pulls you flush against him. You inhale when your chests touch, the silk of your dress rucking beneath his palm.
“I think you know the reason,” he rasps, his gaze finding your lips.
“All the same” – somehow, your fingers curl into hair at the base of his neck – “I’d like to hear you say it.”
Bending, Jimin’s lips skim your throat. “I told you I don’t care what my family thinks. I just want you, Y/N.”
Inhaling sharply, you turn your head. Your lips briefly touch, then you still.
Jimin hesitates, his brain short-circuiting before he connects. Springing into motion, he slides both palms to either side of your face and kisses you deeply. Walking you backwards, he only stops when your spine hits the wall. Reaching lower, Jimin grabs your wrists with one hand to yank overhead.
You stare upward, eyes lidded, as your chest rises and falls. Jimin nearly groans, sliding his knee between your legs to widen your stance.
“God, you’re perfect,” he breathes, crushing your mouth with his.
All he knows is your scent, wrapped around him. The feel of your mouth, the curves of your body arching against him. Jimin loses himself in the moment – in you – to the point where nothing else seems to matter.
Releasing your wrists, Jimin grasps the hem of your dress with one hand to drag it upward. Inch by inch, your bare thigh is revealed to his touch.
“Oh,” you gasp, your head hitting the wall.
Taking advantage, Jimin kisses roughly down your exposed neckline. Each time you inhale, it reminds him of your chest against him. Withdrawing, Jimin glances down and nearly curses. Whatever bra you have on does little to conceal your hardened nipples, easily visible through the silk of your dress.
“Mm.” Jimin exhales, running a thumb over the tip. “Can’t have you returning to the party like this, can I?”
Your thighs clench. “People definitelywouldn’t suspect we broke up.”
Again, Jimin circles your nipple, making you moan. “Sorry,” he murmurs. “Like I said, though – this isn’t about the people out there. This is about you. What do you want, Y/N?”
Jimin holds his breath as he waits for an answer. Really, this is what it comes down to.
Your grip on him tightens. “I want you to take me home right now, Jimin.”
“Fuck, yes,” he breathes.
Grasping you by the hand, Jimin tugs you into the hall. You giggle, stumbling as you fix the strap of your dress, and he can’t keep a stupid grin from spreading over his face.
“We’re leaving now,” Jimin says, bringing you towards the exit. “Otherwise, I’m going to drag you into the bathroom and fuck you like that.”
Your heels dig into the floorboards, and he turns to look at you, concerned.
“Oh.” You blink innocently. “I’m sorry, was that supposed to be a threat?”
Jimin goes still, consumed by images he’d rather not face. Visions of your panties pulled down, bent over his knees while he fingers your dripping pussy. Or your hands, curled around a doorframe while he lowers himself to drag his tongue up your slit. Or pressed against a wall, your panties pushed aside for him to –
“Alright – enough,” Jimin growls, grabbing your hand.
You laugh when he pulls you onward, bringing you to the lodge doors. Reaching the front, Jimin pauses long enough to hand the valet his ticket. While you visit the coat closet, he pulls you close and runs his nose down your throat.
“Do you have any idea how crazy you make me?” he murmurs, low in your ear. “Any idea just how many times I’ve jerked off in the shower this trip?”
“How sad,” you say, turning to face him. “Pray tell, what did you think about?”
Sliding his hand over the curve of your ass, Jimin presses you closer. “Lots of things,” he exhales. “Your pretty lips around my cock. Finger-fucking you slowly, making you take it. How wet you were beneath those ridiculous excuses for nightgowns.”
Your laugh is throaty. “I brought those specifically for you, you know.”
“Mission accomplished,” Jimin growls. Outside, he sees the valet arrive and releases your waist. “Now, let’s go.”
Slipping both arms into your coat, you follow Jimin outside to the car. He helps you in, shutting the door and traveling to the passenger side. Shoving a hand through his hair, he attempts to regain his composure. The two of you need to get home safely – that’s top priority.
Of course, by the time he sits down and glances over, all thoughts of safety fly out the window. You’ve left your coat unbuttoned, enough that he sees each sinful line of your body. Suddenly, his top priority is to get you home – now.
Shutting the door, Jimin puts the car in drive and pulls from the lodge. You exhale, somewhat breathless as you shift to face him.
“This is going to be fast,” you admit, a bit breathy. Jimin’s hands on the wheel tighten. “You said you’ve been jerking off in the shower? Well, I haven’t had any alone time. You’ve just been edging me for three days.”
“Don’t say edging,” Jimin groans. “I’m trying to concentrate on getting you home.”
“Oh?” Tilting your head, you lean closer. “Do you find that topic distracting?”
“Yes,” Jimin huffs, and then pauses. “Actually… I think you could use a little more distraction. Don’t you?”
He doesn’t miss the way your fingers still, your breath hitching beside him.
“Maybe,” you say.
Jimin glances in your direction. “Spread your legs.”
Without breaking eye contact, you spread your legs until the silk is stretched tautly over your thighs.
“Pull up your dress.”
Casually, you grip the hem to tug upward. Jimin tries not to look, watching the road, but the position is torturous. As soon as you come to a stop light, he turns.
Your thighs press against the edge of the seat, silken dress hitched over the top of your thighs. Jimin exhales, unable to see what he wants, but the shadows and skin are more than enticing.
“Touch yourself,” he instructs, and desire flares in your gaze.
Arching slightly, your hand inches lower to dip beneath your dress. Jimin keeps his eyes on you, watching and waiting for your reaction. When he hears the slip of your finger, your lips slowly part as your eyes fill with lust.
“Oh,” you exhale, and Jimin’s body tightens.
“That’s it,” he breathes, listening to your finger drag upward. “How wet are you, baby?”
“So wet,” you groan, eyelashes fluttering as you spread your legs further.
“No.” Jimin’s gaze drops to your hand. “Press your thighs together. Keep touching yourself.”
The light turns green, spurring him onward as the night changes. He watches you obey in the corner of one eye, legs pressed together with your hand trapped between them. Head hitting the headrest, your chest rises and falls with the motion of your fingers.
“That’s it, baby,” Jimin murmurs, switching lanes to go faster. “You’re doing so well. I want you to come once for me before we get home. Okay?”
Your eyes open. “You want me to come?”
“Just once.” Jimin lowly chuckles. “I know you, baby. I know you can come at least twice more tonight.”
“Fuck,” you groan, your need evident.
The record number of orgasms Jimin has given you in one night is five, but that was only one time. Jimin thought it’d be fun to see how many times he could make you come with only his tongue. Five, it turned out – or rather, that was the point you frankly begged for his cock.
A few minutes away from home, Jimin relents. “Alright,” he exhales. “Spread your legs again.”
You instantly obey, thighs spread as you groan, your fingers slipping lower.
“Can you stretch yourself for me, baby?” Jimin murmurs, the words low and thick. “Keep that other hand on your clit, now.”
Adding another hand, you arch on the seat. Every ounce of blood in Jimin’s body rushes towards his cock, enough to make things painful as you near the house. You push a finger inside, releasing a moan that makes his grip tighten.
“That’s it,” Jimin exhales, driving as carefully as possible over the dirt road.
“Ah,” you gasp when he hits a bump, jolting your fingers deeper.
Jimin clenches the wheel. “You liked that?”
“Yeah,” you whisper, glancing at him, your expression almost shy.
Fuck. Jimin does his best to angle the car, creating more friction as you rub your clit. He does his best to remain facing forward but is distracted every so often by the sight of your hips moving against the seat.
Throwing out a hand, you grasp his lower arm. “Jimin,” you groan, your head hitting the headrest. “I’m so, so close.”
Pulling to a stop in the driveway, Jimin puts the car in park and throws off his seatbelt. Shoving open the door, he goes to the passenger side. Your eyes widen when he yanks open your door, unbuckling you and dragging your hips to the edge of your seat.
“Eyes on me,” Jimin directs, gripping the seat on either side. “Just keep touching yourself like a good girl, Y/N. I know that pussy is so pretty and wet. Can’t wait to lick it clean later. Can you spread yourself wider? Add another finger?”
Your thighs fall on either side of his waist, enough for Jimin to know you can feel how hard he is. The dress continues to cover your waist, and he doesn’t lift it higher. Doesn’t so much as touch you, just keeps his gaze trained on yours.
“I need your fingers,” you whimper, and Jimin feels you grip his wrist, guiding his hand in between your slick legs.
“Shit,” he exhales, feeling how wet you are.
The slick core of heat, your hips arching against him, breaks his last scruple. Keeping his gaze steady, Jimin slowly slides two fingers into your perfect cunt. Relief washes over your face, your lips parting as fresh arousal coats Jimin’s hand.
“God,” he murmurs, twisting his fingers to pull out. Slowly, he pushes back in and watches you hiccup. “You really did need my fingers, didn’t you, baby?”
“Yes,” you whimper, scrambling to sit straighter. Pulling him closer, your thighs widen. “I need you inside me.”
“In what way?” Jimin muses, stretching you as he pulls out.
“Want your cock, Jimin,” you groan, your chest heaving.
Pushing aside your coat, his free hand yanks down the strap of your dress, revealing what can barely be construed as a bra. The tiniest silk triangle barely covers your nipple in a flimsy excuse for support.
“You’ll get my cock,” Jimin promises. Lowering his head, he sucks your nipple – silk and all – between his lips. “Want to taste you first.”
“Jimin,” you moan.
“Patience.” Yanking your hips closer, he leans over you on the seat. Using this angle, he works his fingers deeper as your body tightens. “Like that, yeah?” Jimin murmurs, brushing your g-spot. “Want to come like this?”
“Please,” you whimper, spreading your thighs.
Jimin loses himself in the haze of your body, the tight slick of your heat while he finger-fucks you. Each thrust of his forearm has your breasts bouncing, your tiny scrap of a bra doing nothing to hide the movement.
“Once we get upstairs” – Jimin thrusts harder – “I want this dress on the floor. I want you dripping wet and naked, ass in the air so I can push my cock inside you.”
“Jimin!” you gasp, your entire body shuddering.
“And then,” he adds, low in your ear, “I want you to ride me. Need these tits in my mouth, your ass bouncing on my dick as you come again.”
You cry out, head thrown back as you come apart. Continuing to thrust his fingers, Jimin slows his movement as your breathing lengthens. Slumping against him, you hold tight with both arms.
As gentle as possible, Jimin slips his fingers from your body to fix your dress and coat. Shifting your weight from the seat to his arms, he shuts the door with his heel and starts to walk up the drive.
Stirring, you look around. “Oh,” you exhale, seeing the front porch. “Are we home already?”
Jimin stops to stare at you in his arms. “Did you… think I just pulled aside on a random highway?” he asks, equal parts puzzled and amused.
Sheepish, you feel your face heat. “Maybe?”
“Fair enough.” Jimin chuckles and keeps moving. “You should know, though – I wouldn’t risk anyone else seeing you like that.” He pauses. “Unless you wanted them to.”
You squirm in his arms, somewhat embarrassed by how much you like the prospect. Seeing this, Jimin’s eyes gleam and he leans closer.
“Seems like you might want that,” he murmurs.
Unable to articulate, you nod and watch his lips curve.
“Noted.”
Reaching the front door, Jimin bends to set you down. Once inside, he strips from his coat and boots, turning around to face you.
God, just looking at him is enough to make you weak. He just gave one ridiculously satisfying orgasm – it should be too soon for another and yet, your traitorous body feels barely sated.
“Was I not clear?” Lifting a brow, Jimin walks closer. “I thought I said I wanted you naked.”
You lift your chin. “Wanting is different than getting.”
“Oh, I think you want that, too.”
Fuck. You absolutely do, but you know Jimin enjoys being teased, so you lift your chin in the air to walk past him. “Well?” you demand, placing one hand on the railing. “Are you coming?”
You let your coat drop to your elbows, stepping out of your heels to head upstairs. Jimin groans from behind, and you hear his footsteps follow.
Entering the bedroom, you drop your coat on the couch and turn. Jimin stands framed in the door, several buttons on his jacket already undone. He doesn’t come any closer, and you lift your thumbs to slip under the straps.
“Was this what you wanted?” you ask, innocently slipping them down your shoulders.
Jimin moves forward. Coming to a stop, he replaces your thumbs and casually tugs. The dress slips from your shoulders, catching on your chest, and he motions you to turn.
Obeying, you watch in the mirror as Jimin steps closer. He meets your gaze head-on, slipping a hand around your stomach to mold himself to you from behind. Finding your zipper with his other hand, he tugs down.
Both of you watch the dress fall, silk pooling at your feet to leave you naked. Well, mostly naked. A red, silk thong remains, along with your bra. Really, just two triangles of silk held up by thin straps. Your breasts spill around the materials, creating a tantalizing visual his gaze is locked on. Jimin fingers the clasp of your bra, then releases.
“Actually,” he says, his voice husky. “I want to play like this.”
Before you can fully digest his words, Jimin walks around and grasps your hand. Leading you to bed, he sets you down and urges you backwards.
“That’s it,” he murmurs, nudging your ankles apart. “Just like that.”
Releasing you, he takes a step back to run a hand through his hair. You stare upward, propped on your elbows, your chest rising and falling. Jimin stares like you’re something to be savored, then devoured. His gaze traces your body, starting at your ankles to work his way upward.
He takes in your spread legs, dripping pussy visible beneath the scrap of silk. By the time Jimin finds your breasts, your nipples are painfully hard, and he groans, reaching down to palm his cock. Your breath catches, seeing how hard he is in his pants.
“Jimin,” you moan, sliding one foot lower. “I want you.”
Lowering his knee to the bed, Jimin plants a hand on either side of your head. “Patience,” he murmurs, brushing his lips to yours.
You curl around him, fingers tangling in soft stands of his hair. His fully clothed body presses against you, nearly nude, and you shiver. The feel of his suit against skin is intoxicating. Jimin pulls back to nip your lower lip, grasping you by the waist to pin you fully.
Thrusting forward, he allows you to feel how badly he wants you. His achingly hard cock grinds against your center, and you arch beneath him.
“Jimin,” you pant, tightening your grip in his hair.
“Ah – fuck,” he groans, helplessly rutting between your spread thighs.
Your hands fumble, slipping beneath his suit jacket to cast this aside. Jimin sits up, helping you shed his dark turtleneck. Thrown to the ground, he lowers his mouth, eagerly flicking your chest with his tongue. You moan, hands fisting his hair to anchor him. Tugging the other silk cup down, Jimin switches to suck a hardened nipple.
“Get rid of it,” you pant, reaching underneath to unsnap your bra. Jimin grins, tossing your bra on top of his pile of clothes. Swiftly returning, he bends to lick and suck at your breasts.
Your hips roll beneath him, desperately searching for your release. Jimin knows how sensitive you are, knows you can come like this, but doesn’t seem inclined. Instead, he sits back and runs a hand through his hair.
You nearly come at the sight – Jimin, shirtless with mussed hair and reddened lips. Pushing yourself upward, you struggle to undo the first button of his pants.
Chuckling, Jimin replaces your hands with his. “I need these on,” he says, scooting backwards. “I need something to keep myself from coming.”
“But I want you to come,” you protest as Jimin lowers himself to his stomach.
“And I appreciate that.” Turning his head, his breath touches your knee. “But I’ve spent three months fantasizing about what to do if I ever got to touch you again. First things first.”
Lowering yourself to your elbows, your entire body throbs at the sight of Jimin between your thighs. He looks at you, reverent, before slowly dragging his thumb down your aching center.
“Oh,” you inhale, opening further.
Gaze dark, Jimin pulls the fabric of your panties aside. Your face burns, hearing your wetness, but all that dissolves at the first sweep of his tongue.
“Fu-ck, Jimin,” you groan, head tipping back.
He takes his time, working you open with long, tender strokes. No man has ever eaten you out so well, and you doubt anyone ever will again. As though driving this point home, Jimin switches from tender licks to sucking hard on your clit. You moan, helplessly splayed beneath his torture.
“Jimin,” you gasp, hands fisting in sheets.
Shifting closer, Jimin nudges one leg over his shoulders and grips your ass with both hands. Pulling you into his mouth, he devours, licking up and down in a way that’s obscene. A half-sob climbs in your throat, your back arching when he adds a finger.
“That’s it, Y/N,” Jimin pants, lifting his head. “Such a pretty pussy. Can you come for me, baby?”
“Y-yes,” you gasp.
Jimin lowers his mouth, adding a finger while slowly sucking your clit. Staring down your body at him, you feel your thighs tremble. Jimin’s shoulders flex while eating you out, his hips grinding into the sheets to get himself off. Imagining his cock pushing inside tips you over the edge, and you break apart. A wave of pleasure sweeps through you, seeing stars as Jimin curls his fingers.
Muscles limp, you collapse on the mattress. When your eyes open, your thigh is still flung over Jimin’s shoulder. Grinning, he pushes himself upward, taking your leg with him. Turning, Jimin presses a soft kiss to your calf.
“Fuck,” you groan, one arm flung over your face. “That was even better than I remember. And trust me, I’ve thought about that a lot.”
“Oh?” Jimin gently sets your leg down. “Do tell.”
You peek at him through your fingers. “Take off your pants.”
Jimin drops his hands to his belt. “Tell me” – he undoes the buckle – “in explicit detail” – he pulls the length through the straps – “what you thought about.” The belt is dropped on the floor.
Your tongue swipes your lower lip. “I thought about a lot of things.”
“Be specific.” Shoving his pants and briefs down, Jimin lingers at the point where his hips are exposed. “When you touched yourself, did you think of me?”
“Yes,” you whisper.
“Mm.” Jimin tilts his head. “What about when you used your toys?”
You whimper, spreading your thighs on his bed. “Yes.”
“And were they good enough? Did your pretty pink dildo stretch you as nicely?”
“No,” you whimper, watching him stand.
Still looking at you, Jimin pushes his slacks to the floor. Your heart pounds when his length is released, so hard it seems painful. The head of his cock glistens with pre-cum, the thick veins prominent. Wrapping a fist around himself, Jimin places one knee on the mattress.
“Take your panties off,” he rasps, and you hasten to obey.
Once they’re removed, you’re left naked before him. Gaze glinting, Jimin inclines his head. “Turn around. Lay on your stomach.”
Heat throbs between your legs as you do so, glancing over your shoulder. Jimin positions himself behind you, kneeling over your thighs with his cock in his fist.
“I’ve thought about this for so long,” he exhales, slipping two fingers into your pussy. Arching your back, you squirm to get closer. “When you come, I want to see you, but right now…”
You feel the head of cock nudging your thighs apart, getting wet with your slick. Leaning over, Jimin pulls open a drawer on his nightstand to retrieve a condom. Pulling this open, he rolls this onto himself and pushes between your thighs.
Each messy thrust rubs his cock against your clit, making you push your ass backwards. Jimin smacks your ass swiftly, then makes a low noise and rubs it.
“God, I missed you,” he exhales, pushing himself into your cunt.
You moan, burying your face in your arms to lift your ass higher. Jimin is thick, even more than you remember, and you feel your walls stretch with a pleasant burn. He pauses a few inches in to gently tug your hips upward.
Keeping your chest to the bed, he lifts you almost to your knees. Leaning forward, Jimin slips an arm underneath you to play with your clit. From behind, his hips slowly thrust in and out a few inches. Stretching you, yet barely sating the edge of your desire.
“Jimin,” you groan, turning your head to capture his mouth.
His fingers nudge your clit, tongue slipping past your lips as his cock gets even deeper. Each time he slowly thrusts and withdraws, you accept him a little more. Buried halfway, Jimin draws leisurely circles around your throbbing clit.
“More,” you moan, pushing back.
Jimin chuckles, retreating to grip your hips with both hands. He thrusts in slow, easy motions to work himself deeper. By the time he bottoms out, your hands are fisted in sheets.
“Fuck,” you exhale, thighs spread to accommodate him inside you.
Jimin stays there a moment, thumbs drifting over the shape of your ass. “Y/N,” he mutters. “You’re so goddamn perfect.”
Leisurely, he withdraws until only the head of his cock remains. Jimin thrusts forward slowly, making you feel every inch of him. Moaning, you bury your face in the sheets, and his hand comes down again.
“Louder,” Jimin demands, gripping your waist. “Don’t hide from me, baby. Want to hear you.”
Head thrown back, you pant as he sinks into you fully. All you do is take it, breathless and eager while he slowly fucks you. Casually, Jimin pushes your hips down so you lie flat on the bed. One foot on the mattress, he adjusts himself to push inside you like that.
“Oh,” you moan, toes curling.
Thighs pressed together, your clit rubs the sheets, making it messy and tight as he moves inside you. Gripping your ass with one hand, Jimin anchors himself to fuck you in slow, rolling movements. You arch underneath him, gaining friction but when you clench tighter, Jimin pulls out.
A strangled sound leaves your throat. “Excuse me,” you blurt, rolling sideways to face him. “I was enjoying that.”
“Oh, I know.” Jimin grins from the spot where he kneels. His cock is hard, glistening with evidence of your arousal. “But what I really want is to have you on my lap.”
A shiver runs down your spine. Turning over, you arch your back and watch Jimin’s eyes glaze. He reaches for you swiftly, helping you onto your knees. Seating himself against the headboard, Jimin arranges your body over his thighs.
Hovering above him, you grasp his shoulders. “Is this what you wanted?’
“Fuck, yes.” Jimin drinks in your body. His fingers swipe through your cunt, teasing as he bends to suck a hard nipple between his lips.
Spreading your ass with one hand, his fingers stroke up and down your aching pussy. Arching against him, you present your chest further as your grip on him tightens. Jimin slips a finger inside you, casually fucking like that until you moan.
“Jimin,” you whimper. “Please.”
Moving to grip his cock, Jimin positions himself at your entrance. “All you had to do was ask,” he says, guiding your hips.
The head of his cock pushes inside, then stops, waiting for you to take over. Greedy, you seat yourself in a single motion. One second, you’re empty and the next, you’re full of his cock. Jimin swears, gripping you tightly as you inhale. Chest pressed to his, you stay there, pussy throbbing as you grow accustomed to his girth.
“Fuck – Y/N,” Jimin chokes out.
“I thought you wanted this?” you tease, lifting your hips to swivel. Jimin’s eyelashes flutter when you start riding him, rising and falling on the length of his cock.
Thighs spread, you grip his shoulders to move up and down. Jimin groans, lowering his head to tease one of your nipples. He continues this while you fuck him, sucking and releasing with a lewd pop. Needing him deeper, you start to bounce up and down. His cock soothes a tight ache inside you, stretching your body like he was made for it.
Breathless, you press closer, curling your fingers into his hair. Jimin responds eagerly, widening your thighs to grip your ass with one hand. Tightly entwined, you move against him until he takes over, slamming your hips down again and again.
“Jimin,” you pant, your legs trembling. “I need more.”
“More?” Jimin pants, his expression truly fucked out. “Alright, baby.”
Lifting you off his cock, he ensures the condom is snug and positions himself on his knees. “Lie down,” Jimin demands, and you hasten to obey.
Settling on your back, you spread your thighs for Jimin to move between. Gripping your ankles, he lifts your legs upward. Pushing them towards your chest, he exposes you fully.
“So pretty,” Jimin murmurs, dragging his fingers through the slick of your folds. Switching your ankles to one hand, he lowers them to his shoulder and positions his cock at your entrance. When he pushes inside, you moan at the tightness. “Yeah, that’s it,” he coaxes, getting deeper. “You take me so well, baby.”
“Better than other girls?” you pant, the words out of your mouth before you can stop them.
Jimin goes still, then gently parts your thighs. Wrapping your legs around his waist, Jimin leans forward until your lips brush.
“What other girls?” he murmurs, thrusting into you slowly. “Y/N. You don’t seriously think I had any interest in fucking other girls while we were apart?”
Your heart hammers as you try – and fail – to squash your insecurities. With everyone else, you have no trouble saying what you want. With Jimin though, you’re aware he could crush you with a single word. It’s harder when the stakes are as high as they are.
“I wouldn’t be mad if you did,” you whisper. “We were… broken up, and –”
Jimin bends, rolling his hips to shove his cock deeper. Your words break on a moan, legs encircling him tighter.
“I don’t want to hear that again,” Jimin says, low in your ear. “You are the only person I want, Y/N. The only one in my bed. The only pussy wrapped around this cock. The only one coming beneath me,” he murmurs with another hard thrust.
Your thighs start to shake, but you fight to keep present. Hips lifting, you match him thrust for thrust as your fingers curl in his hair. Jimin moves faster, pounding you into the bed hard enough to see stars.
“I don’t care if you slept with someone else,” he says hoarsely, reaching between you. You tremble when he circles your swollen clit. “I just want you thinking of me from now on.”
“Y-yes, Jimin!” you cry out, not sure what you’re agreeing to, but knowing you don’t want this moment to end. You don’t want this to end when the weekend is over.
His mouth crushes yours, tongue sweeping forward to match every thrust. Jimin’s scent is all around you, within you as you begin to lose track of where you end, and he begins. Your focus narrows, becoming nothing but pinpricks of building pleasure. Jimin’s cock pounds into you harder, hands grasping, breath mingling as you come undone.
Gasping his name, you clutch him tight as your pleasure explodes. Jimin coaxes you through it, keeping his fingers on your clit to ride out the tremors. Once you’re slumped, fully sated, Jimin releases the hold he had on himself. Nearly withdrawing, Jimin slams his cock forward to fill your still-spasming cunt.
You cry out, thighs widening as he lets you have it. Fucking you with full abandon, Jimin hammers your g-spot in a punishing manner. Nearly as swift as the fall, you feel your climax building. This time, your body feels beyond your control, practically weightless beneath the force of his cock in your pussy. It’s all you can do to stay conscious when another orgasm rolls through you.
Jimin groans when you come, feeling your walls flutter around his thick cock. Burying his face in your neck, Jimin thrusts deeper to release. Clasped tightly around him, you feel the warm pulse as he fills the condom. Bittersweet, you wish this wasn’t there, so he could play with his slick. Breathless and panting, the two of you lie there until Jimin withdraws.
Gathering his strength, he sits back on his heels. Removing the condom, Jimin ties this in a knot and tosses it in the trash. When he heads for the bathroom, you stretch out both arms, feeling limp.
And happy.
By the time you and Jimin trade places, your eyelids are drooping. Exiting the bathroom, you find the lights off and Jimin already in bed. You attempt to grab his t-shirt from the floor and are met with a loud throat clear.
“What are you doing?” Jimin huffs.
Straightening, you find him already in bed, the sheets pulled down beside him. Jimin looks pointedly at that side, then at you.
“I was trying to wear your t-shirt to bed,” you say, slipping between the sheets to face him. “It’s Christmas Eve, I’ll have you know. December in Washington. Brr.”
Moving closer, Jimin slips an arm over your waist. “There,” he murmurs, pulling you towards him. “Use me to warm up.”
For this, you have no retort. In the back of your mind, a voice whispers you should talk to him, that there are important things to discuss, but everything fades in the warmth of his arms. Eyelids so heavy, you can barely keep them open, you fall asleep.
For the first time in months, you sleep through the night.
You wake the next morning with a start.
Eyes wide, you stare at the wall and feel Jimin’s arm on your waist. Rather than joy though, panic claws at your throat. There were so many things you should have asked him last night. So many things you should have said instead of immediately falling into bed with your ex.
As quietly as possible, you slip free of his arm and stand from the bed. Grasping a sweatshirt and jeans, you tiptoe down the hall to swiftly get dressed. Gripping the bathroom counter, you stare at yourself in the mirror and try to sort through your feelings. Twice, you pull out your phone only to hesitate, setting it down.
Today is Christmas, meaning Namjoon and Yoongi will be with their families. Dr. Germain, your therapist, is on vacation, although you know she would respond to an emergency. This could hardly be considered an emergency, though. This is just you, acting rashly and – your heart sinks, knowing this was exactly the opposite.
You want Jimin. You’ve wanted Jimin since the night you broke up, but were so near-sighted last night, you didn’t stop to ask if he wants the same. Abruptly, you turn and open the door to the hall. Heading downstairs, you sort through the facts.
Jimin apologized for this fall. He said he regretted not staying. He said he thinks of you often, and that he hadn’t been with anyone else. If this were last year, you might read between the lines and assume he still wanted you. This isn’t last year, though. Current you has experience with expecting Jimin to do one thing, and he does another.
Dragging a hand down your face, you stop by the kitchen for coffee. The only way you’ll be able to sort through this before opening presents is with massive amounts of caffeine.
Gazing outside, you see freshly fallen snow and wonder if it’d be crazy to go for a walk. Once your coffee is full, you pad down the hallway and slip on your boots. Your coat is halfway zipped when a throat clears behind you.
Whirling around, you nearly drop the mug as Jisoo appears.
“Oh my god,” you blurt, one hand on your chest. “You scared me. I didn’t realize anyone else was awake yet.”
“Are you kidding me?” she laughs, walking closer with her own mug. “Two three-year-old daughters on Christmas? They’ve been up since the crack of dawn.”
Nervous, you laugh as your hand falls. “Ah, right. Is Hoseok keeping them in their rooms?”
Jisoo shakes her head, coming to a stop. “They fell back asleep – Hoseok, too.” Curious, she glances past you at the door. “Going for a… walk?”
“Thinking about it.”
“It’s below freezing.”
“Yeah. I thought it might help… clear my mind.”
Her brows furrow, pensive enough that you nearly curse. You couldn’t be more obvious that you and Jimin are having trouble. There’s no other reason to be up this early, trying to escape into the wilderness rather than face your ex.
Plaintive, she takes a sip of her coffee. “You know, I know you two are broken up.”
Well, fuck. Someone will have to scrape your jaw from the floor. Stunned, you stare as Jimin’s sister takes another long sip of coffee.
Seeing your face, Jisoo steps closer. “You stopped talking in the group chat,” she explains softly, patting your arm. “And Jimin… well, he seems slightly better now, but we all saw how he was after the injury.”
“I don’t… we, we’re not,” you fumble, the words dying.
“It’s okay. I get why you didn’t want to tell us. Why he didn’t want to tell us.”
At this point, it’s too late to make any denial. Jisoo has already seen the truth in your face. You suppose the important part is she hasn’t told their parents – although part of you wonders if his mom knows, as well.
“It’s been a long year,” you admit finally, your voice cracking.
“Oh, Y/N.” Setting down her mug, Jisoo pulls you into her arms. “There, there,” she exhales, rubbing your back. “I’m sorry I brought that up. I just thought… well, I thought you might want to talk to someone not my brother.”
“Thanks,” you whisper.
Patting your arm, she pulls back. “So, do you? Want to talk?”
“I…” You trail off. “It’s complicated. We broke up last September, but Jimin asked if I’d help him break the news of his contract to your parents. Things have been different this weekend, but I don’t know if Jimin is on the same page as I am. I want to get back together, but… he’s the one who asked to break up.”
Jisoo’s eyes fill with sympathy. “You should talk to him.”
“I know,” you exhale. “I know, and I will. I just… I can’t stop thinking about the last time we had a serious conversation. How badly that went.”
Understanding crosses her face. “I get that, I do.”
“He seems different. But it’s only been three months. Jimin is playing hockey so well – he seems to have his shit together, and I’m just a mess. What if I want to get back together, and he says no? Maybe this whole thing – the holidays, the hot chocolate – was just a way to say goodbye.”
Jisoo’s gives you a look. “Y/N. Listen to me – I know my brother. I knew within two seconds that you’d broken up. And I’m equally certain he still loves you – partly because my husband is a terrible secret keeper.” She shakes her head. “Apparently, Jimin asked for Hoseok’s help to win you back.”
You blink. “That… that can’t possibly be –”
Footsteps clatter downstairs, and you both turn your heads.
“Y/N,” Jimin blurts, slipping a little. His sweatpants are only half on, hopping wildly to avoid Hana’s toy on the landing. “Thank god. I thought you left,” he admits, rushing forward to grab both your arms.
Jisoo pointedly clears her throat.
Jimin glances sideways, then does a double take. “Have you been there the whole time?”
Rolling her eyes, Jisoo grabs her coffee and turns. “Merry Christmas, Jimin. Go and make up with your girlfriend.”
He watches her leave, then shakes his head, and looks back. “Are you okay?” he breathes, scanning your frame. “I woke up and you were gone. I thought…”
Putting two and two together, your eyes widen. “You thought I left.”
Jimin seems a bit queasy, but he manages to nod.
Taking another step closer, you grip his elbows. “Jimin, no,” you say. “My suitcase was still there. Didn’t you see?”
“Oh.” He blinks. “I didn’t notice.”
Oddly enough, his panic gives you the courage to speak. “I wasn’t leaving. I just wanted a walk. You know… clear my head. Think about what happened last night.”
“Are you… having second thoughts?”
“Second thoughts?” you say in disbelief. “Jimin, we never discussed a first thought. You weren’t clear about what you wanted.”
“I wasn’t clear?” His brow furrows. “Y/N, I said I didn’t want anyone but you. That you were the only person for me. I apologized for September and said that I’m trying to change. What else could I have meant?”
Your heart hammers against your ribcage, but you push on. “I know,” you admit, voice catching. “It’s just… well, I thought I knew what you’d say in September, and I turned out to be wrong. I was scared, and I asked for a break, but you agreed.”
Sudden understanding dawns on his features. Jimin’s hands slide up your arms to cup your face, his gaze gentle.
“Y/N, no,” he murmurs. “I was wrong. I shouldn’t have left. I just… didn’t want to hear what you were saying, which was that our relationship had problems. You wanted to fix those problems, and I ran away. I’m not running now, though.” Determination flickers in his gaze. “Y/N, I want to stay. Whether that’s as your boyfriend, fiancée, husband, or something else entirely – I don’t care. I just want you.”
Hearing him say this, your heart swells. Unbearable lightness spreads through you, and you take a step closer. Jimin pulls you against him, hands finding your back as he lowers his head.
“I’m sorry I scared you,” he murmurs. “I should have been clearer last night. I was, uh, a little distracted.” Jimin huffs out a laugh.
“I’m sorry you woke up and found me gone,” you whisper, tightening your grip. “I just… didn’t want to assume, and I was scared.”
Jimin shakes his head. “It’s not assuming, Y/N. I love you. I never stopped loving you. And I will never stop,” he adds. “So, you might as well get used to this.”
“I never stopped loving you, either. I –”
Jimin cuts you off, crushing your mouth to his. Bending at the knees, he lifts you over one shoulder and heads for the stairs. You yelp, smacking his shoulder but Jimin doesn’t stop.
“Jimin,” you laugh. “It’s Christmas! We should –”
“Celebrate our relationship at least once before everyone else gets up? Yes, agreed.”
Breath catching, you briskly nod. “Yes, yes. Good point. That.”
Laughter rumbles in his chest, carrying you down the hall and for the rest of the morning – until the twins bang on your door – you lose yourself in blissful certainty. Jimin is yours, and you’re his.
With no end in sight.
Seated beside you on the loveseat, Jimin plays with your fingers, entwined in his lap. With his other arm, Jimin brings you closer to brush a kiss to your temple.
Smiling, you face him. “What’re you doing, Mr. Park?” you lowly scold. “You do know we’re not alone, right?”
Jimin lowers his nose to your hair. “More’s the pity,” he murmurs.
Heat flushes through you, but he sits back in his seat. The Christmas Eve party this year is at the ski lodge again, and all of his friends have gathered in the same spot. Tonight though, you sit beside him with a ring on your finger. Jimin barely made it to the playoffs before he proposed.
Thumb brushing over the stone in the center, Jimin can’t help but smile. From far across the room comes the sound of Jungkook booing.
“We get it,” he calls, hands cupped over his mouth. “You two are disgustingly happy. Get a room, why don’t you?”
“We will,” you call back, snuggling into Jimin’s side. “Later.”
Seokjin laughs and elbows Jungkook’s ribs. “You’re only annoyed because you’re the only single guy left.”
Jungkook pouts and sits back. “True. What’s that all about? Why’d you have to bring a super cool, amazing date to the party this year?”
Seokjin’s date, Nova, laughs. “Thanks? I’m going to take that as a compliment.”
“You should.” Jungkook nods, then faces you and Jimin. “But seriously, you two seem very happy and I’m glad for you both.”
Jimin blinks. “What’s the catch?”
“No catch.” Jungkook casually crosses his arms. “Your current level of happiness will make it all the sweeter when I kick your ass in the playoffs this year, Park.”
When you snort-laugh, Jimin gives you a look. Said look makes you squirm against him on the sofa, though no one else seems to notice.
“Yeah.” Drily, Jimin looks at Jungkook. “Because that worked out so well for you last year.”
“Ohhh,” Hoseok calls, entering the room with Jisoo on his arm. She’s noticeably pregnant, with a due date next month. “He got you there, Kook. Remember when you lost and now, you and Jimin are tied for Stanley Cup wins?”
Jungkook stares at him blankly. “Hm, no. Don’t recall.”
The entire room laughs, conversation shifting to topics other than the NHL. Squeezing Jimin’s thigh, you snuggle closer and rest your head on his shoulder.
“I am, though,” he murmurs.
You glance upward. “You are what?”
“Happy.” Jimin meets your gaze. “Happy you gave me a second chance. Happy to choose you, again and again.”
Breath hitching, your fingers tighten in his. “Easiest choice I’ve ever made.”
© kpopfanfictrash, 2023. Do not copy or repost without permission.
Author’s Note: thank you so, so much for reading! HAPPY HOLIDAYS to anyone who celebrates!
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They Reject You (maknae line)- part two
Pairing: Bts maknae line x Reader
Word Count: 8.8K
Warnings: swear words here and there
A/N: here's my patreon just in case you enjoy reading my stuff!
Park Jimin
Jimin's eyes light up when he spots you in the cafeteria. You're sitting alone with a cup of coffee and typing away something on your laptop and he can't help but feel like the chair next to you is practically calling for him.
He makes a quick beeline towards your table and occupies the seat. "Hey, sweetheart."
You don't bother looking up at him as your eyes remain fixed on the screen.
"You shouldn't be sitting alone, if you needed company you could have just texted me," he suggests taking hold of your coffee cup. His plump lips wrap around the straw and he draws up the liquid extra loudly, knowing very well that the noise annoys you.
However, you pay no attention to his lack of table manners.
"Do you know we were supposed to have an exam today but it got cancelled?" He speaks in a tone of disappointment, knowing you'd agree with him. It's one of your icks when you've worked hard for something and have shown up for it, but ultimately do not get the chance to prove yourself.
But you still remain focused on your work and give no reaction or response.
At this point, Jimin finds himself feeling curious as to what might be so important in your laptop that it has all your attention. He leans forward to take a peek and realises that you're working on an assignment.
"Assignments are now more important than me, I see," sighing dramatically he looks down as if upset by your lack of acknowledgement. Not even a moment later he looks up subtly to check if you're looking at him.
When he realises that you aren't, the slightest bit of annoyance sparks inside him.
"If you're not going to talk to me, I should just leave," he keeps his tone casual, not intending to let the fact that he's feeling grumpy, be known.
You tilt your head cutely and mumble something along the lines of vertices having a degree two to yourself.
Jimin's jaw drops in complete shock. The last time you two had a proper chat was three days back and now that he's trying to talk to you, this is how you treat him?! If that's what you want, fine. He isn't going to sit here and beg you to pay attention to him.
"Fine, I'll leave. I have better stuff to do anyway," he grumbles and takes his leave.
If anyone were to take notice of Jimin's expressions, they'd probably end up laughing. He looks angry but that little pout on his lips and the sad look in his eyes makes him look like a little child throwing tantrums.
It's a good thing your eyes are not on him. Not even when he makes his leave.
----------------------------------------------------------------
Two classes later, Jimin is scrolling through his Instagram when he comes across a reel of a cute puppy doing the usual puppy antics. His first instinct is to send it to you. However, when he clicks on the share button, he doesn't find your account on the list of people to send. His brows furrow in confusion and he types your account id on the search bar only for the screen to read a message saying no matches found.
Have you....have you blocked him?
He exits the application and opens WhatsApp. When his eyes land on your contact he notices how your profile picture is appearing to be blank and it only makes him desperately type out a message to you.
Throughout the class, he keeps hoping that he'd notice a double tick to assure him that you haven't blocked him but unfortunately, no such thing occurs.
At the end of the day, he goes to sleep with a displeased frown. How could you do this? How could you just ignore him during recess and then block him on social media out of nowhere? He didn't even do anything wrong.
Did he?
He tries to recall the last time the both of you had a proper conversation and his mind goes to the events that occurred on the night of the frat party.
It's true that you had snapped at him and that the conversation you had, would not fall under the category of 'friendly'. But he didn't think it was serious, either. Both of you had silly arguments here and there, but it never seemed to matter in the long run. Somehow or the other, Jimin always managed to get under your skin and get a reaction out of you. Sooner or later, the two of you would fall back to the rhythm of him annoying the shit out of you and you talking back to him.
The more Jimin recalls the little fiery banters you two have engaged in, in the past, the more his confidence grows. He tells himself this time would be no different. It may take a little more time but Jimin is sure you'll be talking to him again.
It's true that you have never blocked him before. Or never have downright ignored him like this. Even when you would appear to be mad, there was always that little twitch of your eyes or you poking the inside of your cheeks with your tongue, which let him know that he was being successful.
But it doesn't matter.
Maybe you're really really mad at him this time. But he's sure he will melt that anger away with his smile and charm.
It works on everyone, no doubt it will work on you as well.
----------------------------------------------------------------
With a wide confident smirk plastered on his face, he walks into your classroom and looks for you.
His smirk softens into a small smile when he spots you with your head buried in books.
He ignores the hushed whispers and the dreamy stares and walks to your seat before sliding next to you.
"Hey sweetheart," he says, putting the effort to make his voice extra sultry and smooth. That always works on the girls.
And for a moment, Jimin thinks he has won when he notices the look of complete surprise on your face. However, his victory is short-lived as your surprise fades quickly and once it does you're back to your work without paying him any mind.
"I got you a gift," he places the said gift on top of your notebook. A rose. "I looked at it and it reminded me of you."
Your hands falter for a brief moment as the nib of your pen is met by the flower. You use your other hand to move the flower out of your way.
Jimin huffs. He is starting to get annoyed and there's this sense of unsettlement in his veins but he tries to look amused. If there's one thing that bothered you to no end, it was when he found your anger as a source of his amusement.
"Awww," he coos with an underlying tone of mockery. "Are you angry at me?"
You don't react. Jimin is neither surprised nor flattered.
"It's so cute though," he comments, and only if you were looking at him would you have known it's only his voice that gives the faux impression of him being amused. His eyes, his frown even the curve of his lips don't hide the fact that he is anything but not amused.
Jimin feels a mix of frustration and desperation, which makes him snatch the pen away from your hand.
You seem startled by his actions but instead of arguing with him for being such a pain in the ass, your hand makes its way to your pencil pouch. However, before you can take another pen out, Jimin is taking that away from you as well.
"You aren't getting these back until you talk to me," he declares, as he hugs the pouch and your pen close to his chest as if shielding them away from you.
You sigh, not out of agitation or anger. You seem bored. Something that scares and hurts Jimin, at the same time.
"What do you want?" You query, finally talking to him directly. After four days.
"What do you mean by what do you want?" He scoffs, making air quotes to mock your question. "You aren't talking to me and have blocked me on socials. What do you think I want?"
You sigh, once again and once again you look bored. As if you'd prefer to be anywhere but here. "I thought you had a reputation for being a fuckboy or something."
Jimin's brow furrow in confusion. "What does that have anything to do with this?"
"As a fuckboy whose commitment lasts for only one night, you must have faced many instances where you just wanted the girl to just take the hint," you state, speaking in a tone that's so calm that it makes Jimin squirm in discomfort. "Wonder why then, do you not know when to take the hint yourself."
His eyes fall and suddenly all traces of anger and frustration is gone and is replaced by sadness. Jimin looks a like sad kid who has just been told Santa isn't real.
The look in Jimin's eyes catches you by surprise. He is an expert at making sad eyes to lure someone in. You know that because you have been a victim of it. But Jimin's eyes always had that little spark in them. Something that gave away his act and highlighted the mischief brewing within them. Something that let you on the fact that he's only pretending to be sad.
However, now that you look into his eyes, they just seem dull. Making it seem like Jimin is sad, maybe for real this time.
You ignore the urge you feel to comfort him and maintain a blank face. Why should you even feel bad for choosing yourself? How many times has he thought or cared about his words and how they have made you feel? How many times was he there to wipe the tears that he made you cry?
Not even once.
You may be someone who's tough and headstrong but you're also just as soft and loving on the inside. If you give in now and comfort him just to see him happy, you know you will be repeating the same cycle with yourself. And it would be so damn toxic.
"Are you really not going to talk to me?" He whispers, in a soft voice.
"I don't want to, trust me." This time your voice is not cold. This time you sound like you. The you, Jimin is familiar with. You don't even seem mad. And that's exactly how Jimin knows that you mean what you're saying.
--------------------------------------------------------------
Jimin has had a tough week.
Nothing out of the ordinary, perse. He has been going to parties, has been getting drunk and has been the same him. But maybe that's exactly why he is having a tough time. Because despite doing regular 'Jimin' things, he hasn't been feeling like himself.��
He doesn't even know what's wrong. Or maybe he does, he just wants to ignore it and pretend that everything is fine. That he's fine.
He does his classes and tries his best to focus on the material that's being taught but somehow or the other, he zones out.
But it's not like it's a big deal. It's normal and all cool. He's fine.
During football practice, he misses the opportunities that present themselves to him as if he's a blind man.
But again, that's normal, right? Even the best of players make mistakes. Who's Jimin to not make one? It's fine. He's fine.
During lunch, he accidentally puts pepper instead of salt in his food. But that's also normal! Nothing out of the ordinary.
He's fine.
He repeats these two words in his mind as he makes his way to the next class. However, he is met by a sight that has his steps halting.
It's you.
You have your head thrown back and you're laughing at something your friend said.
The scene causes a stir of emotions inside him.
One of the first things he feels is longing. Any other time he would deny it with everything in his being but now that you're in front of him like this, he simply can't. He misses you. He misses talking to you. He misses teasing you. He misses how your nose would scrunch up in annoyance. He misses the way you would chew on your lower lip to hold back from smiling.
He misses everything about you.
The next emotion that hits him is anger. Here he is, feeling like he can't act and function normally without you, and there you are totally unbothered.
The thought also scares him. What if, what if you just don't care about him anymore?
If that so happens to be the case, Jimin at least needs to know for sure. He can't be going around like this with a hole in his chest and having unanswered questions in his mind regarding what exactly happened for you to suddenly cut him off like this.
So, the next thing he knows, he's walking towards you. Ignoring the surprised look on your face, he grabs the courage to speak.
"Can I talk to you for two minutes?"
You look at your watch simply because you need to make an excuse as to why you can't give him the two minutes. "Sorry, I have to head for my class."
Jimin nods, having expected something like that. "We can talk while walking. I'll drop you to your class."
"You don't need to–"
"I want to," he cuts you off with a determined look on his face, not willing to take no for an answer.
Truth be told, you have no intention of talking to him. But somewhere, at the back of your mind, you're curious as to what he might have to say. After all, after one whole week of Jimin not trying to bug you, you had honestly assumed that that was the end of whatever friendship (if you can even call it that) you two had.
Jimin takes note of the indecisive look on your face and before you can come to a negative decision, he takes hold of your hand and gently tugs you to a side.
"What–"
"I am sorry but I had to," he says with a tone that conveys nothing but sincerity.
You're half pissed at Jimin's behaviour but you ignore it nevertheless, thinking that whatever it is that he has to say, it must be serious. Because you have never seen Jimin being like this before.
"Whatever you want to say, make it quick," you say with a sigh.
"Why are you cutting me off like this?" Jimin's words are out of his mouth the moment he knows that you're ready to listen to him. It's like he has been waiting for ages to ask you this particular question.
Your brows furrow for a split second before you scoff. "Is that what this is all about?"
He is confused as to why you're looking at him as if he has asked a really stupid question.
"Yes?" He responds hesitantly.
You sigh once again, this time much louder and in disbelief. "Oh my gosh, I can't believe this," you mutter to yourself before looking at Jimin and he does not miss the gleam in your eyes.
"Let me spell it out for you, you were an asshole to me," you state, your voice having a certain hint of anger to them.
"A-Asshole? How?" He stutters, looking even more confused than before.
"You knew I had feelings for you, but you couldn't give two shits about it. I had no issues with you not liking me back, but rubbing all your sexual escapades on my face, and flirting with me is a total disregard and disrespect to how I feel."
"I didn't–"
"It doesn't take much for someone to realise that. Anyone with the minimum common sense can figure that out for themselves. But just because your feelings have always been shallow does not mean that the people around you are shallow as well."
There are a lot of responses that come to Jimin's mind but he knows none of those are good enough.
"Do you know how much of a fool I felt when you were being ignorant of the fact that I am a person who feels? I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn't even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve."
Each word of yours hits him like a bullet but he thinks this has been a long time coming. He is willing to take as many hits as it requires, but he just hopes this is not the end. That somehow he gets to redeem himself. No matter how difficult it is.
"But at some point, you realise that you shouldn't put up with someone who doesn't appreciate you. I know how I deserve to be treated and it's obvious that you don't know how to treat a woman with respect. Hence, I'm afraid we can't be….friends anymore."
You paused briefly before using the word friends as if you were not even sure if that's what you two were. And it sure as hell, makes Jimin feel shittier than he did moments ago.
Oh my goodness, he really has messed this up, hasn't he?
When you turn around to leave, Jimin doesn't stop you, knowing very well there's nothing much he can say to prove that you mean much more to him than what he has made you believe.
So he lets you go.
But only with the intention of earning your forgiveness.
Kim Taehyung
February
Tae 🐻: did you reach home?
You: yes, just did!
Tae 🐻: i see
Tae 🐻: take rest and sleep well
Tae 🐻: also, i got a little something for you
Tae 🐻: *image attached*
On clicking the picture, you're greeted with a small little teddy bear that looks adorable in every way possible.
It brings a smile to your face and there's a part of you that knows that it's his way of apologising for the dimmed smile you had throughout the day. His words may have been upsetting but at least he knows the effect they have had on you. And you know he's sorry for it. Mayhaps, that makes it a bit easier for you.
You: it's cute
Tae 🐻: i know
Tae 🐻: that's exactly why it reminded me of you
You chuckle and shake your head softly.
He never leaves a chance to flirt.
--------------------------------------------------------------
April
You: you won't believe what happened
Tae 🐻: what
Tae 🐻: What
Tae 🐻: WHAAATTTT
You: a cat just snuggled against me.
You: CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???
You: like i used to be so scared of them
You: but now i think they are just soft little balls of fur
You: now i want a cat for myself
Tae 🐻: this is so cute for some reason
Tae 🐻: i can just imagine your bright excited smile *sighs*
Tae 🐻: I'm glad you are not scared of cats anymore 👍😌
Tae 🐻: but but but
Tae 🐻: idk how to feel about you getting a cat
Tae 🐻: what if you get one and then your whole attention is on them and then you forget about me 👉👈
You: 🙄
You: is this supposed to be a joke?
You: can i not have a bear and a cat at the same time???? 😒
You: also, don't worry i doubt the cat can ever get as annoying as you're
You: so in a way, you'll always be special 😌
Tae 🐻: uhh thank you
Tae 🐻: that's very reassuring 🤗💖
You: well why, you're welcome 🤗
-------------------------------------------------------------------
July
Your phone rings making you alert of an incoming call. Checking the screen you realise that it's Tae.
"Hello?" You greet in a sing-song voice, your mood suddenly turning bright.
"Hello, my lady," he greets back in a British accent. "How have you been?"
"Same old, mate, same old," you sigh, mimicking his accent. "Work has been hectic."
"It's even worse that I haven't seen you for so many days" he huffs, his accent gone and voice sounding whiny and complaining. Something that makes you think he has a cute adorable pout on his face.
"I know, work decided to be the biggest bitch ever," which is why you and Taehyung have not been able to find free time to spend with each other.
The lunchtime for his department changed, making it impossible to have lunch together. Your department has way more workload than his does and as a result of which, you always have to stay back at least an hour to complete your share of work.
Taehyung doesn't wait for you or for your work to get done. And in a way, you're glad. You can't imagine how tiring it can be to wait a whole hour after a full day of work when you know you have the option to just go home and lay in bed and do nothing.
Everyone deserves good rest and sleep after spending a whole day in front of a computer and that includes Taehyung. You'd never expect him to wait for you or do anything that would be at the cost of his discomfort.
Anyways, it's not like you and him have been out of touch. You text him about every silly little thing that would occur throughout your day. It could be a lizard staring at you intensely as if judging the way you're brushing your teeth, and Taehyung will be the first person to know about it. Hence, yes you do miss his presence physically but your days have been filled with him.
You both have chatted for hours on end, sometimes via text, other times on a call.
This time is no different. You two end up talking for a whole hour before, he says something that ends with your heart skipping a few too many beats.
"Hey man, I won't say I love you on the phone," he jokes, but there's just something in those words that tells you he knows this isn't just a joke. "That's not fair to the both of us."
It is said out of nowhere, yet it fits the context of the conversation as well as of the situation you both are in.
"Umm, w-well, say it in person I guess." Your cheeks warm up, a bashful smile that is so incredibly shy at the same time, adorning your lips.
"So I will," he whispers as if even though you two are only connected via call, he knows how gentle this moment is and what it means to you.
And then, the conversation is loud again. You with your silliness and him playing along with it and laughing loudly at your antiques.
----------------------------------------------------------------
September
"Why do you look down?" You query as you munch on popcorn.
Taehyung shakes his head, denying anything's wrong. "Nothing, I just feel tired, I guess."
Bullshit. You know Taehyung well enough to know when he's lying. His eyes just twinkle in a certain way as if on alert about being caught.
"Do you want to leave?" You whisper, paying mind to the people around you. The last thing you want is the people in the movie hall shushing you or glaring at you.
He shakes his head, again. This time more vehemently. "No, I want to watch this movie with you."
You sigh but then speak in a gentle tone. "You know you can tell me right? Anything that's bothering you, you can tell me."
Taehyung looks at you and there's that certain look of vulnerability as if he's scared and worried. But whatever it was that he was looking for, he finds it in your eyes. It makes him decide that yes, he can be honest with you.
"Remember Kira? I saw her today and I guess it just triggered something within me."
Kira.
How can you forget that name?
Two months in your friendship and the both of you had discussed your lists of shitty exes and Kira was a topic discussed in detail.
Kira was his first and only girlfriend whom he loved a lot. Their relationship was filled with ups and downs but he never let it come in the way. He was there for her in ways you only see in movies and shows. But alas, things did come to an end.
What hurt Taehyung more than the relationship coming to an end were the comments made by Kira. She didn't stutter while saying that he's just not the kind of guy she's into. He isn't bulky or muscular. He laughs too much and smiles easily. He isn't intimidating and is very gullible and naive.
That...that was what broke him.
You remember the day he told you about Kira. It had made you so angry. How could anyone ever say something like that about a person? If you're not interested you're most welcome to leave but why go an extra step to be an asshole and scar someone?
What was worse was the fact that you could tell Taehyung believed in those words. He thought they were a down point to his character and that it made him unlovable.
It's also since that day, that you have developed this protectiveness over him. He may not see it but he deserves the absolute best. He deserves to know that it isn't difficult to love him at all, in fact, it might just be the easiest thing in the world.
But right now, you know that her words from the past are probably being repeated in his mind over and over again. Hence, it becomes your goal to make him see that those words are not true.
"I understand why it may have been triggering for you," you comment taking hold of his hands and playing with his fingers. "But I assure you, she was only being a bitch because she knew she losing a gem."
Taehyung smiles a smile that does not reach his ears. "Thank you."
"Don't thank me. I'm not done yet."
For the first time this evening, the briefest spark of amusement enters his gaze.
"I know she hurt you, but if you need a reminder that what she said to you was total bullshit, I'll serve as one."
Your voice comes out firm but there's that tone of love and affection to it, that is simply unmissable.
"People say and do mean things and they hurt us. But their choice of actions and words define them, not us. At some point, you have got to stop and realise that you can't keep hurting yourself because of what someone has said. It's difficult to do that, I know but that difficulty is worth it. You are worth it."
A small, tiny smile appears on Taehyung's lips at your words. Before he can get the words out to express his gratitude, you're speaking again.
"Also, all those things that she made you feel were unlovable about you, make you just that much more lovable. Because that's what makes you, you."
Once you're done, you feel the insecurity hit you that you may have been a little too passionate or that you went overboard. But Taehyung resting his head on your shoulder and muttering the softest of thank you's makes you relax.
And that's how you watch the rest of the movie. With his head on your shoulders and him constantly wanting some part of his body to be in touch with yours.
---------------------------------------------------------------
December
You were promoted.
You won't say it was out of the blue, you had seen it coming. Despite that, being recognised and awarded for your hard work, felt nice.
But your promotion also meant you were now working in a different branch of your office. Same city, a different building. This also meant the chances of you and Taehyung meeting in between work had slimmed down to zero.
But again, it didn't seem to affect the bond you two shared. You two chatted with each other about your day almost regularly. It just didn't feel right, without telling him about the itsy bitsy details of your day-to-day life.
It was your second week in the new building and by now you had become comfortable enough with the group of fellow employees you were mingling with, for them to ask the very important question. "Do you have someone special in your life?"
The question was asked in good spirits, with raised eyebrows, teasing smiles and mayhaps with an underlying hope that the answer to the question would be 'no' so that they can set you up with the company sweetheart Jeon Jungkook, who you have a hunch, has a crush on you.
Nevertheless, the question makes you stutter.
It's not a difficult question to answer if the answer is a simple yes or no. But in your case, it's not so simple. It's complicated.
But how do you explain it to them?
You don't even know where you and Taehyung lie. You both have never directly addressed the feelings except once or twice. But what does that mean now? Do you two fall under the category of "more than friends, less than lovers"?
You don't know.
You don't know if he still has feelings for you. What if it was just a phase and now all that you two are is just good friends? What if you're the only one who keeps thinking of the time you had confessed and what if you're the only one to whom the moments spent with the other, mean something special?
But what if the opposite is true? What if he still has feelings for you, what if it wasn't just a phase? What if the moments spent with you, mean something to him as well?
Gosh, this indeed is complicated.
You take a deep breath and conclude that irrespective of whatever his feelings for you may be. You're someone who cares for him. A lot.
You don't want to be someone who hurts him, ever. Knowing of the few instances that he has been hurt and the way he has been hurt, you never want to make him feel like he failed at love again. Or that, he isn't worthy of love.
You don't want to assume that Taehyung has feelings for you. At the same time, you don't want to assume that he doesn't. Because you know, if you assume that he doesn't have feelings for you and act accordingly, and then it turns out that he still did, he will feel crushed.
"Let's just say, I do have a certain someone," you answer with a shy smile.
Your new coworkers look disappointed for a brief second, most likely because now they won't be able to play matchmakers but the disappointment is soon replaced by excitement.
Multiple questions are thrown your way to know about this special person and you spend the rest of lunch trying to answer them as swiftly as possible.
--------------------------------------------------------------
February
You: why the 🙄 next to her name?
You ask in reference to him re-posting a status update of a co-worker on Whatsapp. Something about company lunch.
Tae 🐻: cause she's annoying!
You: lmao why so 😂
Tae 🐻: oh boy she has no respect for boundaries
Tae 🐻: her jokes are in such poor taste and inappropriate
Tae 🐻: it's just annoying and hence would explain the emoji choice
You: damn
You: that's harsh
You: but I'll trust your judgement
Tae 🐻: as you should, yes 😒
You: but this has me curious, if you were to put an emoji next to my name, what would it be? 👀
Tae 🐻: damn that's a good question
Tae 🐻: let me think
Tae 🐻: How about this one? ✨
You: huh?
You: that's kind of unique
You: why that one though?
Tae 🐻: because you shine, duh
Tae 🐻: and you light up every room you walk into
Tae 🐻: and this ✨ just suits you
Yet again, you feel the familiar warmth in your chest that at this point is just very common every time you talk to him.
But that doesn't make these little moments any less special for you.
------------------------------------------------------------
March.
Work was extra tiring today. You couldn't catch a breather. Couldn't even go to lunch. Stayed back after work till eleven.
And now here you're, finally home.
While having your ramen, you decide to respond to texts that you haven't and so open WhatsApp.
Once done, you check through the status updates of people. It's always nice to know what fun people have been up to while you were being drained of all energy.
However, you frown when Taehyung's status appears on your screen. There are a few paragraphs written about love and how it can change the way you view life. When the next slide appears, it's a picture of him with a girl. He has his arm casually on the girl's shoulder as they smile at the camera. That added with the heart emoji as the caption causes a weird nervous sensation in your stomach.
You type out a question as a reply to his status.
You: what is all this about? 😂
You add a laughing emoji next to it just to make sure you sound casual and curious.
Taehyung so happens to be online and his response comes quickly.
Tae 🐻: did you not see my status updates? 😂
Tae 🐻: I'm in a relationship ☺️
And just like that, your hands start shaking and the food in front of you gets forgotten.
Jeon Jungkook
It's been almost a month since you confessed to Jungkook.
During the first week, you tried to reach out to him because you were so angsty to just get some sort of response. You didn't care if it was in the negative or was harsh. Anything was better than this. Anything was better than him just straight out ignoring your presence as if you never existed.
You just couldn't understand. Did the friendship you two had mean nothing to him? Did you ever mean anything to him? If you did, how could he possibly treat you this way? Did you not deserve at least a proper explanation as to why he was doing what he was doing?
But after a week, you gave up. Your hurt turned into anger. You didn't care what his possible explanation could be. You did deserve better than this. So you ultimately stopped trying to reach out to him.
It's not like it doesn't bother you. Sometimes, it still does. But the difference is, you have stopped expecting anything from him. And that admittedly, makes it a little easier for you.
"What are we doing today?" Namjoon asks with a bright dimpled smile as he took his seat on the chair.
"Four short interviews and then a late-night show," you reply, quickly opening your pouches to get out the brushes.
He sighs. "Another round of answering what our love life looks like."
You snicker, finding it hilarious how done he looks. "Another round of you answering on behalf of the team that you all are a little too busy to find time for dating."
Namjoon shakes his head. "Sometimes I wish I didn't know English."
The thought makes you laugh with your head thrown back.
"Well I can't imagine anyone else being the spokesperson, it would be damn funny."
You really do think that would be the case. Each of the members has a very distinct personality and just imagining what they would be like, is nothing short of amusing to you.
Your amusement, however, dwindles when your mind comes up with the question about what Jungkook would be like if he were the one translating other members' words into English. But then your mind leads you to imagine how cute his English is, despite being broken. And then your heart ultimately shrank and you had to remind yourself to not think of him.
Namjoon seems to notice your distress and quickly changea the conversation to something else.
Thankfully, it works. There are no other sad moments where your mind goes to Jungkook and you find yourself enjoying your conversation with Namjoon and that was more than enough.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
It's three in the afternoon, you conclude after checking your watch. Which means another interview left and after that the boys can rest, until the late-night show of course. This also, means that there's another hour for you to just relax in the AC room. After that, you will have to get to work to remove Namjoon's makeup.
You lay down on the sofa and scroll through Instagram. What's better entertainment than this?
Your fingers get to work and start scrolling, one meme after the other. Some you find hilarious, some you need to read twice to get and some you simply roll your eyes at. But you guess, that's just how memes are.
However, it's after a few more posts that you find one which simply makes you blink in disbelief.
It's a picture from the news outlet dispatch. The picture in question is of Jungkook's with his arms around a woman. On reading the caption you realise that the said woman is, Niki from the girl group JION. And to no one's surprise, the photo has caused a stir on the internet and apparently, everyone's talking about it.
You exit Instagram and open Google. You search for Jungkook and Niki are immediately met with a bunch of articles. Each of them discusses their possible relationship and whether or not they are dating.
When you feel like you have had enough of the sick churning of your stomach, you close all apps and just shut your phone.
Wow.
This is something.
It leaves you perplexed and with a bunch of emotions, you have no idea how to deal with.
Was he already seeing the woman when you left that note? Gosh, if that's the case, it would be so embarrassing.
Is that why he thought it would be best to just get rid of you? Was that why he made that sudden move out of nowhere? Couldn't he just tell you that he is dating someone else? Learning this from a news outlet, for every reason, feels painful.
It's not even the fact that he is dating someone. It's just the fact that you both have become such strangers that he feels like a distant person you once used to know. All because you decided to trust him with your feelings.
But most likely it didn't matter. Your feelings didn't matter. You're someone who's always behind the scenes, someone who no one knows. But him? He is the world-renowned artist. He is the one who earns in millions and has an army of fangirls, quite literally. Why should he waste his time caring about how you feel? More importantly, why did you expect him to?
It was undoubtedly a mistake on your part to have trusted him. As they say, expectations lead to heartbreaks and maybe you had to learn it the hard way.
But that doesn't mean the pain is anywhere near acceptable. You needed a way to vent your anger, so you do the only thing that comes to your mind.
You block him on all social media sites.
---------------------------------------------------------------
Two weeks since the rumour about Jungkook and Niki dating begun and it's still all over the net. Why, you ask? Because the two people involved in the matter aren't helping their case at all.
They have been spotted several times together and thus have been fuelling the rumours further.
It angered you. Weren't idols supposed to be very careful about their relationships? Why were then, these two, flaunting their relationship for the world to see?
You're aware you sound bitter and ridiculous because no one should have to hide if they are dating someone but you just can't help yourself. No matter how hard you try, news about Jungkook and Niki would somehow or the other appear on your feed, be it on insta or Google. It just became unavoidable as these two were everywhere.
The comments didn't help either. People adored them.
Apparently, these two were the perfect match for each other. Both maknaes of their individual groups and both fan favourites.
It made it suck all the more for you.
Argh.
"Have you seen my chapstick?" Namjoon asks as soon as he enters the room. "Hobi just lectured me about how I should always keep my lips moisturised."
"It should be in the drawer," you reply and get up to look for the chapstick. "Let me check once."
As it turns out, it indeed was in the drawer. You hand the small tube to him and as soon as you take a seat again, the door swings open to reveal someone you would have never imagined seeing.
Niki.
"Namjoon oppa," she smiled, putting her dimples on display. "I was looking for you."
Namjoon turned around at the sound of his name. His expression too turns into that of surprise when he realises who it is. "Niki! I didn't know you'd be coming."
Huh, makes the two of us.
The two idols chit chat and you ignore all of it. Simply, because they seem to get along really well and if there's one thing you know about Namjoon it's how protective he is of all the members. But if he likes and approves of Niki, well you guess she and Jungkook might just be the perfect match.
It's not like Niki totally ignores your presence. She shoots you a smile that's sweet and warm, and you smile at her right back. Your's looking a tad bit less sincere.
Thankfully, whatever conversation the two of them were having soon comes to an end and Niki leaves the room.
As soon as it is just you and Namjoon, you blurt out the question you have been wanting to ask for a long time.
"Are they really dating?"
Namjoon doesn't seem too surprised by your question, if anything he looks like he expected it. However, he does look hesitant to answer. "Umm, yes they are."
Shit.
You don't know why you had to ask the question but you did, and now you got your pretty little confirmation and now you're hurting again.
Well, shit, indeed.
But but but, why was Namjoon hesitant to answer? Was he perhaps aware you had feelings for Jungkook? Had Jungkook told him the reason of requesting a change?
Fuck, you should really have kept your curiosity to yourself because now your mind is running wild and it's not helping you at all.
"But, I don't think it's anything serious," Namjoon adds after a beat of silence then nods as if reassuring himself that it was the right thing to say.
It makes you even more paranoid that Namjoon knows about your little more than crush on Jungkook and it makes you want to flee from the spot.
"Uhmmm, I need to pee," you squeak out and immediately shut your eyes because gosh that was stupid.
"Uhh, okay." Thankfully, Namjoon isn't weirded out by your silly choice of words. Instead, he looks amused and there might have been something else in his gaze but you are too embarrassed to take notice.
You quickly leave the room and rush your way to the washroom. As soon as you're in, you splash your face with water.
What the fuck? Does Namjoon know? Does it mean that the other members know too? How are you ever going to face them again?
Shit. Shit. Shit.
This is no good. You should have never confessed. You should never have listened to those excited beats of your heart and to those fluttering butterflies. Look where it got you.
"Don't worry about it, babe. It's all cool, it's all under control now." A voice reaches your ears from one of the stalls in the washroom.
You assume the woman must be talking on the phone and you ignore it.
"Yes, I know how you feel about it but trust me this whole thing with Jungkook should be over in like a few weeks."
Now, that has your ears all perked up in attention.
"You know, I don't even like him like that."
What. The. Fuck.
"I'm not mad at you for it, relax babe, I love you."
And just like that, you hear the toilet flush and the doorknob jiggling followed by Niki stepping out.
You pour the liquid soap on your hand and wash your hands with them just to look like you weren't eavesdropping on her conversation with her babe.
Although, could it really be called eavesdropping when she was speaking so loudly?
Thankfully, Niki doesn't find your behaviour suspicious and leaves the washroom with a small smile lingering on her lips.
Uhh okay then.
This is something.
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As soon as the shock dials down and you could think, you knew you had to tell someone.
You don't know what and how to say, though. You can't just claim that Niki is cheating on Jungkook, despite your initial assumption being that. Because people call their siblings babe too right? Or their best friends? Yes, you can't just assume that she's having an affair behind everyone's back.
But what you're plenty sure of and have heard Niki admitting is that she does not have feelings for Jungkook. What the heck is going on then?
Before your mind can start running in circles, the door swings open announcing someone's arrival. Much to your relief, it's Namjoon, someone you can be honest with, without worrying about the technicalities.
"Listen, I need to talk to you about something," you say, your voice coming out nervous yet firm.
Namjoon takes notice of your nervousness and smiles at you warmly, hoping to put you at ease. "Sure, go ahead."
"I went to the washroom and uhm, I heard Niki talking on the phone about something and I think you should know about it."
A small frown appears on Namjoon's face because of all things, he did not expect that what you had to say was anything related to Niki. He, however, keeps quiet and gives you an encouraging hum to go on.
"I–She told someone over the phone that she doesn't really have feelings for Jungkook."
Namjoon looks as shocked as you had been but his shock wears off much much quicker than yours did.
For the first time, he looks a little awkward having this conversation. Scratching the back of his neck, he gives you a small awkward chuckle. "I see what you're saying."
Your first thought to this reaction is that he does not believe you. It would make sense for that to be the case if Jungkook really had told Namjoon about the note. But that does not mean you don't feel incredibly offended and hurt right now. Just because you liked Jungkook does not mean you'd be lying. Is that how much faith Namjoon had in you?
"I'm not lying!" Your voice doesn't hide the emotions you're feeling, not that you were trying to hide them anyway.
Namjoon's eyes widen and he immediately shakes his head. "No, no, no. That's not what I meant."
You cross your arms and look at him with a scowl, refusing to believe his words. "What did you mean then?"
He yet, again looks a little sheepish as he answers, "It's just that I don't know what to say."
"You don't have to say anything to me," you reply without missing a beat. "This has nothing to do with me. It has to do with Jungkook. Tell him that this girl probably has some ulterior motives or something. Save him from the heartbreak he will inevitably go through when he comes to that realisation himself."
"You're right, that's exactly what I should do." Something in Namjoon seems to click and he nods. "Wait, I'll be right back."
Just like that, he's walking out in a hurry leaving you all alone in the room.
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It's been fifteen minutes since Namjoon left.
At first, you were walking with hurried steps from one end of the room to the other but then your anxiety got too much for you and you decided to sort out the skincare items and put them in place.
Productivity is better than burning calories by walking in circles in a room. Right?
You were only putting the new moisturizer in the drawer when someone clears their throat to announce their presence.
It rightfully startles you and you let out a small yelp.
However, when you realise who the person standing in front of you is, it makes your stomach sink.
Jungkook.
The same Jungkook you have been avoiding for weeks. Not that it was difficult though, he had never really made any effort to reach out to you. But whatever.
You swiftly look away from him and get back to work, not wanting to pay him any attention. Why should you? You're not his makeup artist anymore, he does not have any business to be here.
"Umm, I need to talk to you about Niki."
You don't respond.
Your silence is met with a sigh from Jungkook.
"Hyung told me what you heard Niki say. Ummm can you please not share it with anyone else?"
Maybe it was something about the way the words were phrased but they did not sit well with you.
Your hands pause and a scoff of disbelief makes its way past your lips. Is...is that what he wanted to talk to you about?
That too, of all things to ask you to not tell others about it? As if you had told Namjoon about it to spread some sort of gossip. The only reason you bothered with it was because....well, you were worried for Jungkook.
But imagine caring about someone despite being treated the way Jungkook treated you and then that person coming to talk to you for the first time in weeks only to tell you not to get involved. As if it was by choice.
One thing was for sure, you were this close to letting out the words you have been holding in for a long long time. Your position as a makeup artist be damned.
"It's just that if word gets out she will be framed as the wrong guy."
She....she will be the one framed as the wrong guy? And you being the one who could potentially do it, doesn't make you sound like the villain? What he's saying is you could do something that could end up making Niki the victim.
That's it. You have had enough.
"Do you even know what you're saying?" You speak the words out with your tone laced with every bit of anger you have been keeping in for weeks.
Jungkook winces. "I do–"
"Let me finish. I have no business telling people what I heard Niki speak on the phone with lord knows who. Heck, if I was selfish I would have just stayed out of it because who's gonna believe my words against those millions of articles and fans shipping you two? But the only reason I thought you should know about it is because what if you really loved her or something? Knowing it later when you're much more invested would be way more painful and crushing."
Something enters in his gaze but you're too furious to notice or to even pause to give him the time to form a response.
"Not to mention that you treated me like trash. Didn't bother talking to me. Changed your staff without giving a proper reason. Heck, I might just be a make-up artist and you might be a world-renowned artist but I thought we were more than that," for the first time since you started speaking, your voice goes quiet. "To me, you were more than the idol everyone sees. Maybe that's why I assumed I was also someone more than just a make-up artist to you."
"But I guess I was wrong," your voice cracks and as soon as the sound of your wavering voice reaches your ears, you know it's time to shut up. Because no way in hell are you going to cry in front of Jungkook.
But somehow that single voice crack says a lot.
You have seen Jungkook cry in pain and frustration. You have seen him laugh until his stomach started to hurt. You have seen him drink until he's all giggles and smiles. Those moments had led you to believe that you two were friends, at least. But then if you two ever were friends, he has disrespected that friendship way too much for you to be calm about it.
Jungkook looks at the ground as if it would magically give him the answer to the question of what he should do now. When it doesn't, Jungkook battles himself and ultimately decides that it's best for him to simply say the truth.
He has complicated things enough.
"Niki and I aren't dating."
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Permanant Taglist:
@bloodline1632 @embrace-themagic @jeonsorchid @fragmentof-indiffernce @royallyjjk @jeonninja @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @blairscott @jungkookslittlebun @hunbun07 @chimchimmarie
Fic Taglist:
@coffeedepressionsoup @perfectlyfangirling @armydgirl
#Jungkook x reader#Jungkook angst#Jungkook fluff#Jungkook scenarios#Jungkook reactions#Jimin x Reader#Jimin angst#Jimin reaction#Jimin scenarios#Jimin au#Fuckboy Jimin#Idol Jungkook#Taehyung x Reader#Taehyung angst#Taehyung fluff#Taehyung scenarios#Taehyung au#Co-worker Taehyung
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Whistle ||p.jm||
Description: you and Jimin meet after your dogs get out.
Genre: Non Idol AU, neighbors-to friends-to lovers, Non-idol!Jimin x f!reader, fluff LOTS of fluff.
TW: pets escaping.
Word Count: 3k+
This was not happening. There's no way This was happening to you.
Your dogs had always been well-behaved, had never escaped, and were your personal little angels, so why they chose today of all days to run out on you beats you.
You had let them out in your small backyard so they could get some exercise in whilst you got ready for work, you had a few minutes to spare so you decided to do your hair, and once you were done it was right on time for you to go get your dogs back in the house and head out.
Your fur babies had other plans.
Panic slowly bubbling inside you when you saw your backyard…empty, no sign of them and one of the wood planks almost off your fence. “Fuck,” you muttered, running to get your shoes on so you could look for them right away. You were so angry and sad, you'd heard all thensotries of how some pet owners didn't see their pets for months, maybe even years, the thought of your dogs being away from you like that terrified you.
Mona, your oldest dog had always been the type to inhale her food, she got hungry quickly, what if she starved? Miles, your 10 month old puppy, was Mona’s little sidekick, he'd follow her to the ends of the earth. What if they got runover? What if they got taken by someone? What if they got attacked?
You couldn't stop the tears from streaming down your face as you yelled dogs’ names whilst walking around your neighborhood, you made it back to your street and were ready to admit defeat, deciding you were going to call out of work if you couldn't find them and then call your local shelters to see and animal control.
And then you saw them, who was the person with them?
Jimin rarely had a day off, but when he did he liked to sit out on his front steps whilst he drew, it helped him relax and let go, it was something he'd picked up during quarantine along with building small lego sets. However, today he was just enjoying the sun, this spring had been incredibly inconsistent as far as the weather went, so to have a nice warmer morning was a breath of fresh air for him.
His friends were still sleeping. Usually, a couple of them would be up and ready to go to the gym but they had stayed up way past midnight celebrating his Yoongi hyung's birthday.
Jimin was taken out of his thoughts by the sounds of barking, he'd had his eyes closed whilst he sunbathed and he was shocked when he opened them and saw two medium sized dogs playing towards the end of their driveway, they had no collars on, and the smaller of the two seemed very very muddy. Dogs in this neighborhood were supposed to be leashed at all times, so there was only two possibilities, either they were stray dogs, or they had gotten out of their house.
They are too plump and well kept to be strays, he thought. The smaller dog, although muddy, seemed to have been groomed recently, so he leaned more towards the second option.
“Hey puppies,” he approached them gently to ensure he wouldn't scare them off, but they were all but skittish, the moment they saw Jimin they ran to him and jumped, nearly tackling the poor man onto the wet grass as they licked him all over his face.
“Hello to you too,” he giggled, “where's your owner huh?” He managed to sit up, petting both of their heads as they panted happily.
Jimin looked around the street and didn't see anyone walking by, “well, in the meantime why don't I give you both a quick wash and some food, hmm?” He whistled and they followed him into his shared house, where it still seemed like none of his friends were awake yet.
He took them to the bathroom and rinsed their dirty areas with water and some of the leftover shampoo from when the other dogs came to visit, he was grateful Jungkook was the kind to buy really big bottles of everything so he had more than enough to make sure the dogs smelled and looked good.
He ended up feeding them out on the porch in case their owners walked by looking for them; bathing them couldn't have taken more than 20 minutes, and by the time they were eating Jimin heard an unfamiliar whistle and a worried voice calling out for someone.
“Mona! Miles!” The dogs immediately perked up and started trotting back down the driveway, Jimin following close behind.
The moment you saw them you felt the weight of the world leave your shoulders, and then you realized they had been right across the street from your house this entire time.
“Oh my babies I was so worried,” you couldn't help the tears streaming down your face as they jumped on you.
“I'm guessing you're their owner?”
You looked up and found an extremely attractive guy looking at you with the warmest eye smile you had ever seen, “yeah, I let them out this morning and they must’ve loosened one of my fence planks, I've been looking for them for the past 30 minutes,” you admitted, quickly wiping your tear stained face, “were you keeping an eye on them this whole time?”
“Yeah, kinda hard not to when they jump on you like that,” he chuckled, “I'm Jimin by the way,” he extended his hand out to you, you gave it a firm shake, “Yn.”
“I hope you don't mind, the little one was a bit muddy so I gave him a quick wash, I also gave them both some food,” he explained as you took your hand back, “I don't mind at all! Thank you for taking such good care of them,” you smiled sincerely.
Jimin thought it was the prettiest thing, he didn't really believe in love at first sight but he definitely believed in attraction at first sight, and he was definitely attracted to you. You were wearing a flowy black dress that went just above your knees, your hair was down and you had two small necklaces hanging around your neck.
“Well, I have to get back to my house so I can try and get to work at a decent time, thank you again so much Jiminie!” your voice took him out of thoughts, and when he finally focused on you again he noticed you blushing, “no problem!”
You ushered your dogs to follow you back to your home, and Jimin was elated to know you lived across the street, how come he'd never seen you? Once you were in your house you scolded your dogs, and sent them into their kennels for the time being, you called your boss explaining what had happened and that you were on your way to work.
As you gathered your belongings and got in your car, you couldn't help but sigh one more time, being so grateful that Jimin had found and taken care of your dogs, even if it wasn't a long time, you were happy to know there were people like him in the world.
“I still can't believe you used the good hair dryer on two strange dogs, what if they had fleas!?” Jin complained as everyone gathered for lunch. It'd been a couple hours since Jimin had returned your dogs to you, and he was starting to regret telling his friends about it.
“C’mon hyung! If it was one of our dogs I would've wanted all the good stuff used for them,” Yoongi retorted as he set down the pan of bulgogi he had just made, Jimin immediately grabbed a piece with his chopsticks.
“I guess,” the oldest gave in, “you said she lives across the street?” Jimin nodded as he chewed.
“I didn't even know we got a new neighbor,” Namjoon added.
“Do you think she'd want to have a playdate with her dogs and our dogs?” Jungkook piped up.
“Literally all I got was her name and y'all are already wanting to bombard her,” Jimin rolled his eyes, “let the girl be,” and with that they went back to their bickering.
It was while before you saw Jimin again, your fence had been fixed since, and although you'd let them out a couple of times, you had decided walking them more often was the better option for now, just to keep your heart at ease.
You saw him again by the mail boxes and your puppy immediately wanted to run toward him, almost pulling your arm out of your socket.
“Miles!” You called out for your dog causing Jimin to turn and look at you, his eye smile immediately making an appearance.
“Hi buddy,” he chuckled as he crouched down to his level so he could run into his arms.
Green flag, you thought. Any person who can make a dog this excited to see them has to be a great human being.
“I'm so sorry”
“It's okay! It's been a while, and I'm just as happy to see him,” he kept his gaze on Miles for a little longer before looking at you. “How's your other dog? She doing okay?”
“Yup! I just walked her like five minutes ago and now it's his turn,” you explained. “Your boyfriend doesn't help you walk them?” He tilted his head and you couldn't help but giggle, “I don't have a boyfriend, it's just me and my dogs.”
His mouth went into an “o” shape and you noticed just how plump and pretty his lips were, you wondered how kissing him would feel. “Well, if you ever need help you can always knock on my door, there's a dog park nearby and they sell really good corn dogs there,” he offered with a smile, and then it dawned on you.
“Would your girlfriend be okay with that?” you asked back, it was his turn to laugh, “no girlfriend, just me, my friends, and their dogs,” you nodded.
You were really considering taking him up on his offer, you didn't really have many friends on this side of town after your job transferred you to a new location. And honestly, having an incredibly attractive sweet guy be your friend sounded like heaven. “Sure!”
You exchanged numbers after that, he texted you first and all the sudden the dog park planning was set in the back burner as you guys talked more and more through texts, it was almost an everyday occurrence for you both. Jimin liked getting to know you every day, whether he learnt a new fun fact about you or just talked about the season change, he enjoyed every conversation.
“Awww, look at hyung all smitten for the neighbor,” Jungkook teased as he ruffled the older's hair.
“Yah, you don't know what you're talking about, we're just friends,” he clarified, making the doe eyed man scoff.
“Just friends my ass,” he mumbled, causing Jimin to start chasing him around the house.
The rest of the guys could see it even if Jimin didn't, he was for sure smitten and had an obvious blossoming crush on you, although he never seemed to admit it, they could tell he'd had an extra pep in his step since meeting you almost two months ago. The same could be said for you, since meeting and talking to Jimin even your work friends noticed a change, always having a positive cheery attitude and opening more up to them, which was a stark comparison to how you were shy and closed off during your first few weeks.
You and Jimin would see each other occasionally around the neighborhood, he'd walk you back home if he caught you at the end of a walk with your dogs, bring leftovers from the meals his Yoongi hyung and Jin hyung made, or even little toys he'd see whilst out shopping that reminded him of your precious fur babies.
Your feelings for him were blossoming quickly.
The day came where the plans finally made it out of the chat. Jimin picked you up on a Saturday afternoon and offered to grab Mona's leash as you walked toward the famous dog park he had told you about. It's not like this day hadn't been on either of your minds at all, it's just every time you tried to plan it the other one would have to work, or go to a birthday dinner, or some other event you just couldn't skip.
“So how was work this week?” You both asked in unison, laughing at your sudden sync. “Ladies first,” Jimin said, his gaze going from Mona to you to the sidewalk, the last thing he needed was to trip over nothing and humiliate himself in front of a pretty girl.
“It was good! Mostly just inputting paperwork into the system, we haven't been super busy,” you started, “a coworker invited me to have drinks with him tonight.”
“Oh,” he responded, “did you say yes?” He was trying hard to not let the jealousy show, then he remembered you weren't his, and that he had no right to be jealous.
“He's cute, but honestly not my type,” you simply shrugged, he's only reply was a ‘hmm’
“How about yours?”
“Kiddos finally learned their parts for our nutcracker production! One of them really loves their rat costume,” he giggled and it was contagious enough that you couldn't help doing it too.
Everything about Jimin was contagious, even just the way he spoke about his work made you want to enjoy the little things about yours, even if it was one hundred percent more boring than his. Mona started pulling at her leash a bit, and Miles wanting to be just like his sister started pulling too.
“Hey! Guys calm down!” You tried pulling at his leash, but it didn't matter, he ended up tangling himself with Mona's leash and in an effort to untangle yourself you ended up tripping over them “MILES.”
Jimin was able to catch you and he actually ended up taking most of the fall, “oh my gosh, I'm so sorry” you were half laying on your side whilst his back was flat on the ground, how many fingers am I holding up? Are you dizzy? Can you stand?” The questions came out of your mother's like quick fire while your dogs sniffed around Jimin's face, who was giggling like what had just happened was the funniest thing.
He squeezed your hip whilst he laughed, and you had no clue when he'd put his hands on you.
The furious fluttering in your stomach and warmth on your cheeks wasn't lost on you.
“I'm okay, Ynie” he assured you as he tried to sit up, prompting you to scoot away so he would have space, “that puppy of yours is a spitfire huh?” His giggles were softer now as his eyes settled on you, and suddenly you felt naked, even if obviously weren't, it felt like Jimin could look straight through you.
“Y-yeah,” you stared for a quick moment and then got up, offering your hand out to him which he gladly took.
Once he was standing up right you ended up being a little closer than what you expected, your noses were barely an inch apart, and holy shit he was even more ethereal up close.
Jimin thought the same about you.
He slowly moved his hand go cup your cheek, the soft strokes making impossible not to lean in closer to his touch, you didn't miss how quickly his smile took over his face. “I can't stop smiling when I look at you,” he said as he rubbed his thumb back and forth on your cheek.
You hoped the redness and warmth in your face wasn't obvious. Your puppy started jumping on you causing you to step away, “what's up buddy?” you were petting his head as he panted profusely, “you wanna go home?” And the immediate chorus of barks coming from him and Mona was enough for both you and Jimin to start the walk back home.
Jimin put his arm around you once you were able to get a hold of your dogs, it felt nice, like a shield so strong not even bugs would be able to get through it, although the mosquitoes that kept eating you alive would say otherwise.
When you made it to your front door, you let your dogs in first, slightly closing it so they wouldn't escape. You looked at Jimin, who had the softest of looks and you wished for nothing more than to squish his cheeks. “Thank you for today Jiminie!” You smiled brightly.
“No problem, any time I spend with you is time well spent!” You blushed profusely and he smiled so big his eyes disappeared, thinking of how cute you looked at this moment.
“I'm sure you say that to all the girls you help with their dogs.”
“You're the only one,” he stepped a little closer, “if it were up to me we'd go on these dog walking dates everyday,” dates?
“You want to date me?”
“Why not? You are the most beautiful person I've ever met, like I told you, I can't help but smile when I look at you,” you were once again standing barely an inch apart, with Jimin's hand caressing your cheek, “would you let me take you out on a date? And maybe if it doesn't go terribly,” you foreheads touched and you closed your eyes, “be my girlfriend?”
You opened your eyes to see Jimin looking right at you hopeful, “Sure,” it was barely a whisper, he could feel your breath and his mixing.
“Ynie?”
“Yeah?”
“May I kiss you?”
And Jimin didn't have to wait for an answer as you closed the space between you, joining your lips in the sweetest kiss, just like how you'd imagine kissing him would feel.
“FRIENDS MY ASS HYUNG” You pulled away and Jimin looked back to see all 6 of his friends giggling as they watched on, Jungkook had been the one yelling. Jimin would make sure to beat his ass later.
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ＴＨＥ ＭＥＳＳ ＷＥ ＬＥＡＶＥ ＢＥＨＩＮＤ | ２
❈ Pairings: Namjoon x F!reader , Jimin x F!reader
❈ Genre/Au: M (18+);smut;Marriage Au;Namjoon x Jimin best friends! Cheating! Angst.
❈ Synopsis: Falling in love with your husband’s best friend was not at all how you imagined your life to go, and his return has you unraveling under the lies you’ve created to keep your family.
❈ Warnings: smut, dirty talk, oral sex (F!receiving), foul language, mentions of cheating, fingering, unprotected sex (don't do it), Namjoon is still an angel from above, Angst, Y/n gets her shit together, Angst with some alleviation, orgasms, mentions of arousal, did i say angst?, mentions of miscarriage, therapy, overworking, mentions of mental health, brief mention of suicidal thoughts, physical violence
❈ Word Count: 10K hehe
❈ Authors Note: I want to apologize for the delay, I wrote and deleted and then rewrote this so many times, I found myself struggling to give this story the right ending but I hope I did it justice and that you enjoy :) i cried a few times
Part 1 can be found here
5 boxes, that’s all it took for Y/n to pack up the life she had created with Namjoon, 5 boxes. She watched how the movers picked them up like they didn’t carry much weight like they were just meaningless boxes. She couldn’t stay, even if she wanted to, even if Namjoon had begged her, she just couldn’t stay. She recalled the night prior, the tears that fell down Namjoon’s face, each of them tearing her apart, the way he pleaded- implored her to try. to help him save what remained of their marriage but she just couldn’t. couldn’t lay next to the man whose life she had destroyed, who she had lied to for such a long time.
When Namjoon returned home that Tuesday night, he had found his house empty. There were no traces of his wife’s scent in the rooms where she tended to be, and he couldn’t hear Harumi’s squeals of excitement when he walked through the door. It only took a moment of realization for him to sink to his knees, only a second more for him to weep in agony.
The house they had chosen to live in for the rest of their lives together was no longer a home. What remained there were their memories. The rooms still held onto their laughter and the walls were still filled with their portraits, but it was empty. There was only the reminiscence of the good moments, of the love that was shared but was no longer present.
Namjoon cried and twisted in pain, reluctant to admit he hadn’t been capable of salvaging their love, he knew Y/n loved him, to a certain extent in a certain way but she loved him. No one was that good at pretending. the kisses, the touches, and the intimacy. That couldn’t have been all a lie.
-
“I love you” Namjoon muttered into Y/n’s ear as his hands roamed her body over her nightgown, the thin material doing a poor job of concealing her warm skin. Their lips moved together as his tongue danced in her mouth, with her tongue following his lead. It was the kind of kiss that left one breathless, the one that caused an adrenaline rush within the pit of one’s stomach. It carried weight all while remaining soft and laborless.
It just came naturally, for Y/n to feel consumed by Namjoon.
His touch and his scent caused pressure under Y/n’s navel, one that she could never avoid while in his presence. The movement of their lips turned hungry and desperate, causing them to reach for a breath each time they dragged their mouths against the other. Yet, they couldn’t pull away, it just felt too good for them to do so.
The sensation arising between Y/n’s thighs urged for friction, it pulsated insatiably whilst his mouth departed hers and found interest in the crook of her neck. She squeezed her thighs together, the movement stirring a soft moan from her throat. She could feel his hands everywhere at once, his warm breath fanning over her willing skin, begging him to demonstrate the love he spoke of, asking him to intrude on all that she was.
He pressed his hands against her chest, the sensation of the silky fabric rubbing against her nipples causing them to harden under his touch. He left wet and soft kisses along the center of her chest, while the strap of her nightgown dropped down her arm. The sound of her moans and the smell of her scent lulled him into a trance of need and desire. He pulled on her straps, wanting to expose more of her skin for his tongue to explore.
Her cheeks grew flushed as his mouth continued its escapade down her body, and she swore her arousal could stain her panties if she was wearing any. It pooled between her legs and all she wanted was for him to find his way there so that he could give her an alleviation to the sensation he had mustered to create.
He gently fell to his knees almost as if he was vowing to her, the action leaving her to look down at him. His hooded eyes took her in, the way her hair fell over her face as she looked at him with so much desire, the quick rise and fall of her chest and her parted mouth as she panted. His hands ran along her exposed thighs as he spoke just as breathlessly up at her.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.
But he didn’t want to stop, he had lost all control of his senses, only wanting to touch her, to feel her. while he asked, he begged internally for her to say no.
She reached for his face, her figure towering over him. the way his hands were moving against her skin causing her to lose focus.
“don’t stop” she shook her head “I don’t want you to stop” she begged.
He groaned in pleasure, leaving all self-restraint behind. He guided her towards the bed, pushing her back onto the sheets allowing her to sit at the edge. She watched in pure bliss as he planted kisses along the trail of her inner thighs, his hand moving teasingly toward her core.
With each kiss, he got closer to her center, and she drooled at the thought of his mouth devouring her. his hands reached to push the fabric of her nightgown past her hips, exposing her dripping cunt. She sighed in excitement, unable to take her eyes away from him and her hips shifted in anticipation.
He glanced up at her, the sight of her dark eyes filled with lust leaving him hot and bothered. Her gown had slipped down her shoulders and now sat above her hardened nipples, he moaned lowly at the sight, enraptured in her beauty. He gripped her waist as his mouth trailed its way to her pussy, unable to tease her any longer.
It took a moment for her to catch her breath as he captured her cunt into his mouth, the warmth of his tongue moving against the sensitive nub conducting loud moans to erupt from within her mouth. She gripped onto the sheets, her head falling back in pleasure. Her legs falling apart to give him further access. Her hips buckled towards his mouth aching for more. his tongue moved in between her folds, tasting her sweet and warm nectar.
“Joon” Y/n breathed.
Her hand ran through his black hair, grinding her hips against his face. He lathered her cunt with saliva, his nose pressing against her clit as he worked his tongue in and out of her walls. She couldn’t form any thoughts as he ate her out with such need like it was his last meal on earth- like it was the most delicious thing he had ever tasted. His tongue was skilled and moved slowly, ensuring she felt every movement he made. Over and over again.
She could feel the climax coming, the burning sensation rising up her stomach, the feeling coming in waves, leaving her numb in ecstasy. While his hand gripped onto her waist, keeping her in place the other palmed his hardened cock as her loud moans and pleads sent him further into euphoria.
He pulled his tongue away, guiding his fingers and pressing them against her clit, moving them slowly, her arousal leaving his digits glistening under the moonlight that shined through their bedroom curtains. He moved them away and dipped them in his mouth, his eyes glanced up at her and the view was mesmerizing. Her head was thrown back, her breasts exposed as her silk gown rested below her ribs, and her chest heaved from the lack of air in her lungs. He slipped his wet fingers into her, her walls contracting against them. he moved them slowly inside her willing pussy, arching them to find the spot he knew so well, all while his mouth took its rightful place back against her cunt.
“Namjoon” she breathed “fuck, it feels so good.”
The sound of his name coming out in moans from her mouth sounded like heaven and he was determined to get her to say it over and over again. He picked up the pace of his fingers and so did his tongue, causing her to yelp out his name like a prayer. Her hands gripped onto his air tightly, keeping him right where she wanted him. his tongue traveled around her folds, sucking and licking everywhere it could reach. If he could, he would stay there forever, bringing her all the pleasure she needed.
Y/n could feel the pressure building in her belly as he continued his relentless pace, Namjoon worked skillfully, ensuring he brought her to climax. He guided her legs over his shoulders and continued lapping at her cunt. She knew she was closer, one of her hands reaching to dig her nails into the arm that held one of her legs.
“I'm coming Joon” she whimpered but that only caused him to lose himself further in between her legs, urging her to spill herself into his mouth.
The muscles in her body tensed as she felt her orgasm rippling through her, the feeling of Namjoon’s wet tongue causing all the nerve endings in her clit to ignite. Her body relaxed only a moment later, loud gasps falling from her lips. Through hooded eyes, she watched as Namjoon licked the juices into his mouth and when he finally looked up, she could see her orgasm dripping down his cheeks.
He reached to wipe his lips with his thumb, collecting all that was left of her taste and bringing it back into his mouth with a hum. He had never seen anything so captivating, the way she struggled to catch her breath and the haze that remained in her eyes from the pleasure he had just provided.
She reached for his face and pulled him into her, her lips urgently seeking his. He pulled away slightly, teasing her urge. He noted the way she begged for him with her eyes and smirked. He hovered his lips over hers “I would spend the rest of my life making you cum” he whispered, “if it meant I’d get to see you like this.”
He slipped his lips on hers and moved them passionately, his hand cupping her cheek.
“I love you, Namjoon” Y/n whispered whilst looking into his eyes.
“We want the spring exhibition to have as much color as we can compact in one room” Y/n instructed while she guided her team to one of the empty rooms in the museum. “Keep in mind we don’t want the colors to clash, we want to do this in a way where the visitors can subtly see the shift between our yellows and our blues.” The team nodded in understanding, writing notes on their notepads.
“The artists will be bringing us pieces which include flowers and landscapes which will be our center focus for the upcoming season” she added. “What artists are we working with this year?” one of the team members asked. Y/n hummed, unlocking her tablet and opening one of her files “Uhm... we have Lee Joon-ho, Kim Seung-won, Song Sung-ki, Kim Seok-Jin…” Her eyes trailed down the list of numerous artists, her words halting at the last name on the screen.
“I think we are missing one, Y/n” the member pointed out.
“Yeah, Park Jimin is also working on this exhibition” another revealed.
Y/n closed her eyes at the mention of the name, her heart beginning to beat abnormally. It had been 4 months since she last spoke to either Jimin or Namjoon, deciding it was best if some distance was kept between them. Truth be told she needed space to come to terms with the things she had done, apologies were just not enough for the shitstorm she had caused. So, she would avoid crossing paths with them whilst at work and kept Harumi in the museum’s daycare to facilitate visitation between them.
It might have been childish, but it was the only way she could stop feeling so fucking guilty. She knew seeing them again would only cause further turmoil within her morality and she wanted nothing more but to lessen the pain she felt every day.
Choosing Namjoon would hurt Jimin.
And choosing Jimin would only further humiliate Namjoon.
“If there are any other questions, I will be in my office” she sighed, beginning to walk away from the gallery. Her steps were quick as she followed the path to the room where she now often found shelter. The past 4 months had been bitter, to say the least. Moving into her own apartment had proven to be the most difficult step of the separation, she had been constantly consumed by the empty spaces that had been once occupied by Namjoon, leaving her to face her demons all on her own.
It also didn’t help that she would often find herself thinking of Jimin during lonely nights of wine glasses and melancholy and it often left her mental health strained.
She couldn’t bring herself to decide, knowing that ultimately all parties would suffer.
The guilt and self-loathing alone had driven her to seek help.
Dr. Jung eased her mind and settled her feelings even if it was just for a moment but not even, he could help her confront the decision that lay in front of her. choosing one was to lose the other and so she chose to keep both, even if it was just from a distance.
Y/n scanned her tablet again, looking over the long list of things she still had to do for the day. the new exhibition consumed most of her time which helped to keep her negative thoughts at bay yet, constantly having to roam the museum meant she was at a larger risk of crossing paths with both men.
There was a frantic knock at her door which dragged her attention away from the screen.
“Come in!” she called but the door had swung open before she could even finish speaking.
“oh Mrs. Y/n, you need to come now!” her colleague yelled into the room, her eyes were panicked, and her breathing labored.
“what’s happening?” Y/n quickly stood from her chair and followed behind her colleague “Is it the exhibition, did something go wrong?” Her steps quickened and soon she was running. If something had gone wrong it would mean 3 months of work gone to shit, she groaned as she continued her pace, trying to catch up with her colleague.
“Did something go wrong with the exhibition?” she shouted again, and her colleague turned, taking in Y/n’s frantic stare “No Mrs. Y/n, it's your husband” Y/n’s steps faltered, and her breathing halted. Her husband? What was happening? She furrowed her brows in confusion and then she began to run, her legs moving her towards the destination but her mind racing with endless questions.
She could hear screaming before she even reached the hall and could see visitors to the museum standing by murmuring amongst each other. Her legs came to a stop as she took in the scene before her. her eyes widened in shock, and everything froze within her, she couldn’t move as she heard the men shouting at each other.
“You fucking piece of shit!” Namjoon yelled, his voice booming against the halls, his hands balled into fists by his side and his face beat red, Y/n could see the rage pouring through his eyes, all directed towards Jimin.
“Why? Because I gave her what you couldn’t?” Jimin shouted back, his own anger rolling through his words.
Y/n shut her eyes for a moment, hoping that this was a fraction of her imagination, that this wasn’t really happening in front of her.
“You were my friend” Namjoon cried out, the pain visible in his voice “We’ve been friends since high school man, what the fuck is wrong with you.”
“You left her alone when she miscarried Namjoon, what the fuck is wrong with you” Jimin spat back “I stayed, I was by her side and I treated her like a person, not like a broken plate that you had put together again, you ran and left her alone like she was a burden.”
“Oh, so because you served her as a shoulder to cry on, you felt entitled enough to fuck her for 3 months?” Namjoon’s voice carried throughout the vast spaces, gaining gasps from those who observed the argument. Y/n lowered her head in shame as she felt all eyes go to her now.
“No, we did that because we love each other,” Jimin remarked, a smirk falling on his lips.
“Shut up, you don’t love her” Namjoon stepped closer “You don’t care for anyone but your goddamn self” he shoved Jimin against the wall, earning another gasp from the crowd that had formed.
Y/n tried to shove past the bystanders but as the seconds passed more and more people came to presence the altercation, she pushed and shoved with all her force but she couldn’t get to them, tears of frustration beginning to fall from her eyes.
“I could say the same thing about you, Namjoon” Jimin chuckled coldly.
“What the fuck are you talking about?” Namjoon yelled as he pushed Jimin back once again.
“you’re just talking shit to excuse the fucked-up person that you are!”
“ you’re just trying to keep my family because you don’t have one of your own” Jimin shouted.
“Shut up!”
The crowd yelped as Namjoon’s fist connected with Jimin’s mouth causing Jimin to crash into the wall behind him. Y/n inhaled sharply; fear written over her face. “Fucking move!” she shouted, her body shoving past the people who stood in front of her and jumping in between Jimin and Namjoon.
“Stop!” she pleaded, tears rushing down her cheeks “Just stop, please!”
Namjoon was out of breath, his eyes calming at the sight of his wife as she cried pleads from her lips. He lowered his bloodied fist and only then felt the sting of the punch he had thrown and landed on his best friend's face. “Y/n” he muttered, realization settling in the pit of his stomach. Jimin held onto his mouth, blood seeping through the sides as he watched Namjoon with hatred.
“What is wrong with the both of you?” Y/n cried, her cheeks turning bright red as she spoke.
“Y/n i- “Namjoon attempted to say but stopped his words as he took in the scene before him. he knew he had fucked up; he had been so consumed with his anger to realize the damage he had caused, his eyes traveled around the room. He stared at the unfamiliar faces who watched the entire ordeal unravel, shock written all over their expression. he gasped as he realized what he had done, exposing their dirty laundry for everyone to see.
“Fine, I fucked up I know I did” Y/n whimpered “but I’ve paid my dues, okay?” Jimin looked back at her, worry in his eyes. He wanted to reach towards her and embrace her and so did Namjoon. They shared painful glances at each other. “Namjoon, I don’t know how else to apologize for the things that I have done but this?” she raised her brows in surprise, her face holding disappointment.
“And you Jimin? Fine, I didn’t tell you Harumi was your daughter, but you left for an entire year, you ran away like a coward, you don’t get to come back into my life or my daughters and demand anything!” she yelled, her eyes reddened with tears.
“If I had called you and told you I was pregnant, would you have returned?” The question floated in the air as silence took over the room, Jimin lowered his gaze in shame. He wouldn’t have, he was a different person then, someone irresponsible and unpredictable. At the time he probably would’ve ignored her, told her he wasn’t ready to be a father.
“I did what I could with what I had” Y/n sighed “and until either of you get your shit together, I want you as far away from my daughter and me as possible” she concluded, beginning to walk away.
“Y/n wait” Jimin attempted to stop her, holding onto her arm which she snatched away harshly, she gave them both a defeated glare.
“don’t touch me.”
“Have you been feeling anxious lately?” Dr. Jung spoke, sitting with his legs crossed in front of Y/n.
She played with the pendant on her necklace, her eyes remaining elsewhere.
“If you don’t want to talk, I understand but I need you to know that we are a team and I need you to help me help you” he spoke knowingly. Y/n sighed, fixing her eyes back on her therapist.
“Yes, I haven’t been able to eat or sleep for the past 2 weeks” Her voice was reluctant as Dr. Jung observed her closely. In reality, Y/n found herself struggling to survive and if she could be honest it had only worsened with time but being honest while sitting in this room would only lead her to be locked in a hospital soon if she didn’t measure her words.
“And why is that?” he asked, his brows raising as if to encourage her to speak.
She took a deep breath and looked away once again, trying to find the right words to describe all that worried her, but her brain had been scrambled ever since the incident that took place a few weeks ago and she lived in constant fear that it would happen again.
The humiliation alone kept her in her office more time than before, she couldn’t even look at her team or colleagues in the eyes anymore. Not since they found out about what had happened between her, Jimin, and Namjoon. She had heard the staff murmuring whilst she walked by, gossiping and switching up the story for entertainment.
It was embarrassing.
If it hadn’t been for the proof of her therapy, she would’ve been fired from the position she had worked so hard to obtain, while Namjoon and Jimin only received a slap on the wrist.
“Uhm, I’ve been feeling like I don’t have control over what happens around me anymore” she sighed, trying to maintain her tone whilst tears threatened to spill past her eyes.
“It’s like anything could go wrong at any minute and everything that I have could be taken away from me in an instant and it’s suffocating, to have to make sure everything is okay all the time, I'm tired” Her lips trembled as she released the tension from within her chest.
“And since when have you been feeling like this?” Dr. Jung asked, his eyes looking back at his notes from previous sessions.
“I guess since my miscarriage” Y/n struggled to get the words out, her throat becoming dry “It was the first time I felt completely helpless, like there was nothing that I could do that could fix what was happening and then Namjoon became distant, he didn’t talk to me or hold me like he used to” tears slipped down her cheeks as she brought forth the memories that clung to her mind.
“Sleeping with Jimin was the first decision I made that felt like I was in control, that felt like it was something that was happening because I wanted it to, he was there when I needed someone the most, nurturing me back to who I was” she confessed, not only to Dr. Jung but to herself. Finally, realizing the meaning behind her actions allowed her to forgive her past self for the mistakes she had made.
“You know” Dr. Jung spoke, passing her a tissue for her tears “us humans often think that we need to control everything around us but there is no such control, it doesn’t exist” he advised “It is only something we make up so that we can blame others or blame ourselves for the things that have happened to us.”
“I need you to know that whatever you decide to do moving forward, it is something you need to do for your well-being, not because you want to be in control or because you want to protect anyone else but yourself” he expressed, leaning forward to grasp her hand in his.
“it’s okay to be selfish” he added, giving her a small smile.
“What do you want, Y/n?”
She looked down at her hands that were wrapped in the hands of her therapist, and she glanced back at him, contemplating her answer. She was confused, unable to even grasp what he was asking because she had never truly focused on what she wanted. When she was with Namjoon all she wanted was to preserve their relationship but when she was with Jimin she didn’t have to think about preserving anything, because he was the one trying to preserve her.
She let out a small laugh that surprised Dr. Jung, he watched in amusement as she began laughing loudly, her head falling back unable to contain herself and then like a symphony with no breaks or silence, her laughter shifted into sobs, loud ones that boomed from her chest. She looked at Dr. Jung in confusion unable to explain what was happening, but he held a smile, offering her another tissue.
‘Meet me at our favorite café at 4 pm’
Namjoon read over the message on his phone for the 7th time now, ensuring that his response had been adequate, his eyes looked over the time once again. 5 minutes had passed since he last looked and it was now 4:15 pm but he couldn’t bring himself to blame Y/n, designing the exhibition had left her running on borrowed time. He took another drink of his iced coffee, looking over at the people who came and went from the entrance.
15 muffins, 12 iced americanos, 2 croissants, and 3 honey oat lattes.
That’s what had been sold since he stepped inside the small shop 15 minutes ago, he had run all the way to the café, fearing he would be late but upon entering the establishment he came to realize their favorite table near the window was completely empty.
The door rang with the arrival of a new customer, but he didn’t bother looking up this time, giving up on expecting it to be her. yet, only a few seconds after the space had been engulfed by her scent. He lifted his eyes from his phone screen and watched as she approached their small but comforting table.
“Hey,” she whispered, her voice as delicate and soft as he remembered.
A month had passed since he last saw her. Y/n had stood on her word of wanting them as far as possible, even going as far as removing Harumi from the museum's daycare center and enrolling her somewhere else. It had pained him not to see either of them. he often found himself walking towards her office which was on the opposite side of where his office was but always turned when he was halfway there opting to respect her boundaries even if it killed him to do so.
“Hey,” he responded, his voice cracking a bit as he spoke.
“Thank you for coming” Y/n hung her purse on the side of her chair and took a seat in front of Namjoon. She took a moment to observe him. She noted the stubble forming under his chin and the dark circles underneath his eyes, he looked tired, and it made her feel like a ton of bricks had been emptied on her shoulders.
“Rough nights?” she asked, her eyes now looking into his.
“Yeah,” he chuckled, attempting to sound casual “your team has me working overtime since you decided to add historical pieces to the installment.”
Y/n smiled shyly “Sorry about that, we were missing something, and what better than timeless pieces” She leaned back comfortably. “I hope it's not too much trouble” she added.
Namjoon shook his head, taking another sip of his coffee. He didn’t know how to contain himself, but he was trying, he wanted to reach forward and touch her, his skin calling out for hers, but he didn’t know where they stood or if she would be comfortable with that. It pained him to know he didn’t have that liberty anymore. It hurt to know he had taken it for granted.
“Not at all” he responded; nothing was ever too much trouble to him when it came to Y/n. his heart pounded harshly in his chest from just looking at her. He missed her beyond words and seeing her now reminded him of the reason why. It was as if he was meeting her for the first time all over again, her beautiful eyes and cheeky smile. He missed her.
“Well,” Y/n sighed, playing with the sugar packets on the table. She tended to fidget when she was nervous or when she didn’t know how to start a conversation and Namjoon knew that. He cleared his throat, choosing to help her.
“What did you want to talk to me about?”
Y/n giggled, looking back at him with a nod.
“it's not an easy conversation” she began, biting down on her lip nervously. “But I think it's one that we should have” Her eyes remained on the wedding band Namjoon wore around his finger, hoping that he didn’t notice she wasn’t wearing hers.
“Hey, don’t be nervous” he encouraged, offering her a dimply smile.
Her heart lurched forward painfully at that smile, the one he preserved only for her.
“Uhm…I know things haven’t been easy for either of us” Y/n verbalized “and I just wanted to clear up the air because I don’t want us to be on bad terms” she sighed, running her hands through her hair “I’ve made a decision and I think you should be the first person to know because I owe you that much” if the café had been quiet enough the sound of Namjoon’s heartbreaking would’ve been deafening as he pieced together the words she was speaking. He remained silent, blinking away tears that settled in his eyes.
“I don’t want to hurt you anymore, Joon. I think I’ve done enough of that, and I don’t think we can cultivate anything healthy by staying with each other” Y/n’s voice cracked, her hands shaking whilst folded on top of the table. “I’m sorry, there's nothing in the world I wouldn’t give to turn back time and do things the right way” She avoided his stare, guilty jabbing at her heart as the words came from her lips.
“I wish I could love you in the way you deserve, but I just can't.”
Namjoon reached forward and laid his hand carefully over hers, looking back into her pained eyes and nodding in understanding.
“I love Jimin, and I have for a very long time now, he’s the father of my child” she sobbed, her heart shattering as she came undone in front of her husband “And he makes me happy” Namjoon closed his eyes, and looked away, unable to conceal his own tears.
“After we lost our baby, I think you decided to mend that with Harumi and me, to open a new chapter and forget about the pain that you faced” Y/n continued, her hand now holding onto his. Namjoon glanced down at their hands, wishing that they could remain in the café forever, never wanting to let go of her but he knew that it was impossible, it was something he had tried to do so many times before and had failed at.
“it's okay” he whimpered, nodding his head as to ease her aching heart.
“I understand Y/n” he added “I just want you and Harumi to be happy even if it isn’t with me.”
“I want you to be happy too, Joon” Y/n couldn’t stop the tears that fell from each word, unable to let go as easily as he had.
“I will be, maybe not today or tomorrow or the day after that but all wounds someday heal, and I will be okay” he assured her “I’ll be just fine.” He smiled, his eyes holding a sea of agony.
“Just promise me that you’ll look after Harumi and tell her about me, tell her how much I love her” his hands trembled against hers as he spoke “Don’t let her forget about me because I will never forget about her.”
“Thank you” Y/n wept “Thank you for loving my daughter like she was your own and for not hating me for the things that I did.” Namjoon reached forward and wiped a few tears from her cheeks, his touch holding longing and warmth.
“I couldn’t hate you even if I tried.”
Y/n hesitated to knock on the door, her fist held in the air while her mind raced with doubt, would he even open the door? Knowing it was her on the other side? She took a deep breath and released her fist, looking back down the long corridor, thinking that perhaps this wasn’t the best time.
She fidgeted in place, looking down at the unanswered message she had sent. It had taken her a total of 2 hours, 47 minutes, and 3 seconds to send it and he hadn’t even seen it. She could feel her heart sinking into her navel, anticipating the rejection that would soon come.
She thought of double texting, of reminding him that she still existed but she was sure he’d rather pretend like she didn’t. She had ignored all 120 of his calls for the past few weeks so it was only right he gave her a taste of her own medicine. Even it was bitter and burned her throat like hell.
“Stop being a coward, Y/n” she breathed, turning to stare at the door once again.
The first knock was almost silent, drowned out by the thumps of her heart.
“fuck” she muttered.
Maybe he wasn’t home, deciding to take some fresh air and she was just standing there like a fucking idiot. She bit down on her lip and looked down at the text message again. Did he block her? maybe deciding she was dragging this for far too long and making a choice of his own. She couldn’t blame him, had she been in his shoes, she would more than likely have done the same, but the message had been delivered. It rested on his phone, untouched, waiting for a bit of attention.
“Could you try to know a bit harder, I don’t think he heard you” a voice spoke from behind her.
“I know but what if he doesn’t open the door” she replied, absentmindedly.
“I mean it wouldn’t hurt to try” the stranger suggested, and Y/n nodded, lifting her fist to knock on the door, much harder this time.
“Woah, maybe not try to break the door.”
She sighed, shaking her head and turning around “This is stupid i- “her words were cut short by the man who stood in front of her, her cheeks growing red at the realization . “oh- “she muttered and he let out a light chuckle.
“I think he heard you this time” he joked, and a small giggle fell from her lips.
He raised his left hand which carried a bag with takeout inside, smiling at her “Hungry?” he offered, and she nodded slowly. He moved to enter his code into the door panel and the lock opened with a soft melody, he pushed it open and allowed her to step inside first.
The first thing Y/n noticed once standing inside were the canvases sprawled around the living room area, waiting for the painter to finish creating them. Y/n noted how nothing had changed, the walls remained the same color and he still owned the same furniture, even the scent of sweet apples and acrylic paint that engulfed her was the same. She smiled to herself for a moment, finding comfort in the familiar space.
“Sorry for the mess, I've been trying to get some pieces together before the installation” he huffed, removing his jacket and shoes at the door. Y/n just nodded in response, removing her own shoes. Y/n took hesitant steps into the apartment, tracing her hands along some of the finished paintings along the walls.
“Nothing has changed” she muttered to herself, but Jimin heard her words and hummed.
“I don’t have much time to re-decorate” he chuckled.
She glanced over at the sofa she had helped him choose when he first moved in, the same sofa where he would make her his during late nights, the same sofa that held their whispered I love you’s and guilt-driven tears. Jimin couldn’t confess that he hadn’t been able to change anything for fear of losing the memories the room held. Everything had remained the same.
The chipped lamp that they had drunkenly thrown off the table, the curtains that Y/n had gripped onto while screaming his name in ecstasy, the coffee table that witnessed their dirty secrets, and the rug in which they used to devour each other all had been left untouched.
He moved past her and entered his kitchen, searching around for plates and cutlery and then joining her on the sofa, Jimin could feel the tension as he slipped the take-out from the bag and passed her one of the forks he had fetched.
He cleared his throat awkwardly, avoiding her gaze.
“how’s it been?” he asked, his attention on the Tteokbokki he placed on each plate.
Y/n remained silent for some time, her eyes focusing on the hem of her sweater. She didn’t know how to reply, a lot had transpired since the last time she saw Jimin, and she didn’t even know where to begin. So, she opted for something simple, something she didn’t have to struggle to say.
“It's been good.”
He glanced at her for a moment taking in the lie she had just spoken. It wasn’t that she was a bad liar if time had been able to prove anything, it was that she wasn’t, but Jimin could tell by the way her voice fluctuated in the air, something anyone could’ve picked up on, if they knew her in the way that he did.
“that’s good” he sighed, handing her a pair of chopsticks.
“how's Harumi? I've missed my little bee” Y/n felt her heart skip a beat at the question, her smile falling for a moment, and she could feel guilt rising within her. She had never considered how cruel she had been by keeping her daughter away from Jimin, too consumed with her feelings to even think about his.
“she’s doing great, she’s gotten so big” she replied, taking out her phone and scrolling to some of the pictures she had recently taken of her. She reached forward, showing Jimin her screen.
“Oh wow,” he exhaled, taking the phone in his hand and staring at the picture for a moment. Y/n could feel tears forming in her eyes, but she looked away, trying to dab them away with the sleeves of her sweater.
“she’s so big now” he whispered, “You blink once and the next thing you know she’s 18 and asking for a car” Jimin laughed.
“I'm sorry Jimin” Y/n sobbed, his eyes fell on her again and he could see the regret written over her expression. “hey” Jimin moved closer, removing the space that had remained between them.
“Hey, don’t be sorry” he embraced her in his arms, and finally, Y/n let go of her tears on his chest, as she had done so many times before. He brushed his hands through her hair trying to comfort her whilst she trembled under his touch. His heart ached at the sound of her sobs, her tears dampening the shirt he wore.
“It was the right decision, Y/n” he reassured her “You put her first, and as her father I understood” he pulled her face that was buried in his chest and his thumbs wiped away tears that trickled down from her eyes. She looked up at him, her eyes glistening under the lights.
“You made the right choice” he nodded.
“I met with Namjoon” she whispered, her lips trembling after the words left her lips. Jimin sighed and pressed his lips together.
“you guys are a family Y/n and I left, I don’t get to be selfish” Jimin continued wiping her tears, his hand gently rubbing the skin of her cheeks in comfort. “I know you love him, and I know he's been a great father to Harumi, I can't intrude on what you guys have” Y/n shook her head.
“No, you don’t understand” she spoke, bringing her hands to where he rested on her face.
“he’s the better choice Y/n” he muttered, and Y/n could hear the sadness that rippled through his words, stabbing at her heart.
“All I ask is that you let me see Harumi, I want to be part of her life.”
“I chose you,” Y/n said, interrupting his words. Jimin halted his movements, looking down at the girl he loved in shock, he had been preparing for the moment she would say she had chosen Namjoon, and had braced himself for impact for the pain that was to come.
He had renounced himself of the hope of ever having her again, convincing himself that his love would never stand a chance against what she and Namjoon had.
“I just want you” she whispered, solidifying her statement.
“Really?” his voice hitched as tears slipped down his cheeks. She nodded and he sighed in relief, closing his eyes for a moment. He hadn’t realized the way he had been holding his breath since he had found her knocking on his door, wanting her to rip the band-aid as quickly as possible, and having her say those words eased his mind beyond comprehension.
“Are you sure?” he asked, biting down his lip nervously.
She nodded whilst tears continued to stream down her face. She couldn’t describe how afraid she was of his rejection, her relationship with Jimin had always been a risk and now she sat in front of him in her most vulnerable state, letting him know that she wanted him.
“I understand if you don’t want to” she whimpered “You have your art and your trips, and I don’t want to get in the way of that.”
“What are you talking about?” Jimin breathed. He tilted her chin to meet his eyes. “I swear to god nothing else matters to me” he stroked her cheek with his hand, scanning the outer fear in her eyes “I'll do anything to have you by my side, you and Harumi complete me.”
Y/n reached forward and captured his mouth in hers, kissing him passionately. Jimin quickly gave in, holding her closer to him. He couldn’t tell if it was a dream or not, he had thought of this moment for so long, engraved it in his mind during sleepless nights under the hope that it would someday come true.
“You're mine?” he asked, reluctantly pulling from the kiss.
“All yours” she hummed, nodding her head with a smile.
He jumped onto her, causing her to shriek whilst he lay on top of her.
“Jimin, what are you doing?” she let out a giggle, watching as he removed his t-shirt. Her eyes scanned his abs and her hand reached to trace the tattoo on his rib cage. She recalled the night he had gotten it; she was the first person he had called, and she had scolded him for the impulsive decision. Yet now it was her favorite thing to look at.
“We need to celebrate with some dessert” he groaned, licking his lips.
“Jimin, we haven’t even eaten yet” she cried out, slapping his chest playfully.
Jimin pulled Y/n by her legs, bringing her closer to him. She laughed as he removed her sweats, his eyes scanning the pink thong she wore. He bit down on his lips and looked at her with an arched brow “I guess someone came prepared.”
“oh, shut up” she exclaimed before throwing her head back in pleasure when he pressed his thumb against her clit.
“You don’t know how much I've missed seeing you like this” he moaned, moving his thumb in circles causing Y/n to whimper in response. “How much I’ve wanted to hear your naughty little moans” he groaned. He could feel her arousal moistening the pad of his finger as he continued the motion against her thong.
His fingers played with the hem of her sweater slowly lifting it to reveal her stomach. Y/n hummed in pleasure, her eyes remaining closed as he teased his way to her breasts.
“you’re so touch starved, baby” he mentioned, noting the chills that raised above her skin. His cock pressed against his sweats at the view, the way she withered under his touch. She looked absolutely gorgeous.
He tugged her thong off, leaving her exposed on his sofa.
“I wish I could wait baby but I’ve been dreaming of this moment for so long ” he whispered, lust dripping from his words. He pulled her closer, opening her legs for better access. He pulled down his sweats, spitting into his hand and lathering his hardened cock with saliva and Y/n moaned as she watched him align himself with her pussy.
He rubbed the tip of his cock against her wet folds causing her to let out a pornographic yelp and he couldn’t focus on anything but the sounds she was making and the feeling of his cock moving against her throbbing clit. The sight of his cock covered in her juices caused him to groan loudly, his swollen pink tip pulsating against it.
“Jimin” she moaned “Jimin fuck me.”
It was all he needed to hear for him to plunge into her with ease, her walls giving his dick a warm welcome. They both moaned in unison at the action, his hips rocking into her out of reflex. he rolled his hips slowly, letting her adjust to his length.
He left a trail of kisses along her chest, lifting her sweater off her body all while beginning to rock his hips quickly into her causing her to scream in complete rapture. She moved her hips along his, keeping the same tempo and he buried his face into the crook of her neck, soft pants leaving his full lips.
“You feel so good” he groaned, his hands gripping her thighs that wrapped around his waist. He began pounding into her, the sofa beginning to bounce underneath their motion.
“All mine,” he said as he bit into the skin of her neck making her jolt in reaction.
“All mine” Jimin repeated as he created a chorus of their skin slapping together inside his living room.
“All mine” he groaned as he lost himself in the feeling of his cock moving in and out from her walls.
“All yours” Y/n joined, her fingernails digging into the skin of his shoulders, the ache causing him to move harder, faster.
He lifted her leg and placed it against his chest as he positioned her to lay on her side. He thrusted back into her, a loud moan escaping both of their lips. As he worked his cock inside of her, he pressed his thumb back against her clit. Moving it in the same rhythm as his hips.
“Is this, okay?” he groaned, his hips bucking at the feeling of her arousal around his cock.
“y-yes fuck yes” she screamed, her hands holding onto the cushion underneath her.
“Fuck it feels so good” he barked, his other hand reaching to play with her nipples.
Y/n’s legs trembled as he fucked into her, and she couldn’t contain the yelps that fell from her mouth. Jimin readied himself for the complaints his neighbors would give tomorrow morning, but he didn’t care, he loved to hear Y/n scream in pleasure, the sound alone bringing him closer to the edge.
He loved having her like this, screaming his name and taking his entire length. It felt so good to be inside of her once again. He knew that he missed it but now that he was able to touch her again, to make her moan and beg for more. It was a thrill he couldn’t describe.
His love language was to touch, to feel. He never thought words were enough, so he poured himself into her as a demonstration of his affection.
“Look it's Papa’s painting” Y/n whispered into her daughter's ear while walking her through the art gallery “Look he named this one after you” Harumi giggled in her mother's arm, pointing at the paintings that were displayed on the walls.
“papa” Harumi babbled causing Y/n to gasp. “Yes! Papa” she cheered, hugging onto her small frame. “Jimin! Come here!” she shouted urgently.
Jimin excused himself from the conversation he held with some of the guests and walked toward them, confusion on his face.
“What happened?” he called out, a frightened stare in his eyes.
“Come! I think Harumi said her first word” Y/n chirped, bouncing one-year-old Harumi in her arms.
“Shit, and I missed it?” Jimin groaned, putting down his drink and standing closer to his girls.
“Look we will try again” Y/n instructed, pointing over to one of the many paintings that decorated the walls “Look Harumi another painting, who painted these beautiful paintings?” Y/n asked, urging her daughter to say her first word again.
Harumi looked over at the bright yellows and pinks on the canvas, her mouth widening in a smile.
“Papa,” she said once more which caused Jimin to stare in shock.
“Did she say papa?” he beamed, pulling Harumi into his arms.
“Did she say papa?” he asked again, excitement dripping from his words.
“Yes!” Y/n exclaimed a laugh following shortly after.
“Oh, my sweet baby girl” he hugged her into his chest and kissed the top of her head, humming in happiness. “I will paint the whole world all the colors you’d like, I love you little bee” he proclaimed. Y/n leaned forward and planted a kiss on his cheek with a smile.
“Papa,” Harumi said once again, her hands reaching to rub her father's cheek.
“Yes, papa” Jimin repeated, smiling down at his daughter.
Y/n’s heart filled with warmth at the sight before her, her entire world standing in front of her. She reached for her phone and swiped to her camera, taking a quick picture to add along with the thousand others that remained framed in their shared home. There was a bittersweet feeling emerging from her gut, she had everything that she had ever wanted and yet, it still hurt her to think about the events that had transpired to get here.
“Ms. Y/n, could I bother you for a moment?” one of her colleagues asked, “so sorry, I just need you to stop by my office really quick and sign from release forms for the press.”
“Oh god, yes thank you for the reminder” Y/n exhaled and turned to Jimin who stood with their daughter in his arms, pointing at more paintings that were displayed, naming Harumi all the colors that had been used.
“Hey babe, I'll be right back” Jimin nodded in understanding and directed his attention back to his daughter.
Y/n followed her colleague down the corridor, passing by familiar faces who had come to attend the event. She kept a confident smile on her face as she walked, no longer feeling ashamed to greet them or make her presence known. It had taken her a while to get to this point, to no longer hide in her office in embarrassment. she had finally come to terms with her past. eventually finding closure with her errors.
She entered her colleague's office and proceeded to sign off on the documents that lay on the desk. “May I note that you look radiant tonight” her colleague noted, offering Y/n a warm smile. “Oh please, I just threw this on” Y/n giggled, laying down the pen in her hand and handing over the signed forms to her. “no, really Y/n you look so bright, so full of life” she added.
“Thank you,” Y/n said with a smile on her face.
“You look happier than before and I don’t mean to be rude, I know it has been a rough couple of months, but I’m glad you got your glow back.”
“I'm glad too” Y/n responded, turning on her hill and stepping out of the office.
She began walking down the long corridor once again, noticing how the space had emptied. She concluded everyone had left to attend the exhibition and hurried her steps, afraid she would miss the presentation.
“Running late, are you?” a voice asked, Y/n almost collapsed against the body that stood in the middle of the corridor, her hands flying to catch herself against their arms.
“oh I’m so sorr-“she looked up at the familiar face who looked down at her with all the endearment in the world “Sorry” she whispered, her face becoming as red as the carpet underneath her heels. Namjoon smiled while helping her regain her balance.
“oh Ms. Y/n, you are never on time” he chuckled which caused Y/n to look down in embarrassment.
“I’ve just been running around like a headless chicken all day” she sighed, attempting to excuse her bad habit.
“Well take it easy, we are here now, and the exhibition looks gorgeous” Namjoon replied. His words eased the anxiousness in her chest, which until this point she hadn’t realized she had. Y/n took a moment to take him in, admiring how the black tuxedo he wore made him look wise beyond his years and how he had chosen to slick back his black hair. She hadn’t seen him since the day they finalized their divorce and she had to admit that seeing him again was like a breath of fresh air.
He looked happier, healthier. The black circles under his eyes had disappeared and his skin glowed underneath the dim lights of the corridor.
“Thank you that means a lot” she responded, realizing she hadn’t spoken in a while. Namjoon nodded and reached forward to pat her head softly. a gesture he had often done when he wanted to soothe her.
“You did good, don’t worry” he hummed.
In that moment, she couldn’t form any words. There was a feeling nestled in her chest that she couldn’t describe. She had missed him, but she couldn’t bring herself to say that. Instead, she faked casualness, as if she was talking to a colleague or an old friend.
Even if all she wanted to do was reach forward and give him a tight hug. She never felt like she had said enough to him back in the café, didn’t think her words had been capable of explaining how thankful she was or how much she cared for him. She had hoped there was a way she could take out her heart and demonstrate it to Namjoon so that way he could understand what words weren’t sufficient to describe.
She wanted to display it for him like a painting.
“How have you been?” she asked, and she knew it was a risky question, one that she might not have been prepared to hear the answer to. Yet, behind that question remained a million more. What did I miss? Are you happy? Do you hate me?
“I've been doing great” he exclaimed “Busy but great, I've been traveling a lot more and the museum is thinking of promoting me soon so I can't complain.”
“Oh my god, are you serious?” Y/n chirped.
“That is amazing Namjoon, you deserve it.”
“Yeah, hopefully I can manage.”
“oh, I don’t doubt that you will”
“How about you?”
“Huh,” Y/n blinked, taken back by the question.
“How have you been?” His eyes held the same love and admiration they always did as he looked into hers and she felt herself shrink under the intensity.
“Oh, uhm well as you can see, I just finished the exhibition which I'm praying turned out okay, and yeah, I’ve been focusing on Harumi now that I have more time, and” she cut her words, realizing she was rambling and let out a soft giggle.
“I'm sorry” She had grown mortified and embarrassed, covering her reddened cheeks but Namjoon shook his head and let out a soft chuckle.
“I don’t mind” he reassured her, offering her a warm smile.
“Joon” a voice called in the open space in which they stood, causing them both to turn in its direction. The woman stepped quickly, a bright smile on her face whilst she approached them.
“Oh hey,” Namjoon said, receiving her into his arms.
“I'm sorry I’m late, traffic was horrible” she spoke, planting a soft kiss on his lips.
Y/n watched in surprise as they turned to face her. the woman was gorgeous, and she looked even better standing next to Namjoon. Y/n couldn’t avoid the way her heart tightened for a moment, but she repressed the feeling, offering a wide smile in concealment.
“May, this is Y/n my ex-wife,” Namjoon said, presenting her to Y/n. His arm rested around her waist whilst May leaned into his side.
“Nice meeting you” she spoke softly, extending her hand for Y/n to shake.
“Y/n this is my girlfriend May” Namjoon added.
Y/n took her soft hand into hers and gave it a firm yet gentle shake. It screamed ‘Take care of him’ and May nodded in understanding.
A wave of emotions took over Y/n, leaving her disoriented and yet, at ease all at the same time. She had found an aching sensation coming from her chest, it was a foreign sight. to see someone else stand beside Namjoon in the way she had so many times before. Yet, she wasn’t angry or jealous, she was grateful. grateful that he had found someone to love him in ways she couldn’t.
“I must be on my way now” Y/n smiled, glancing down at the carpet for a moment and then looking back up at Namjoon” It was nice catching up Namjoon and it was a pleasure meeting you” Y/n spoke as she glanced at May once more “I'll see you around” she added. Namjoon offered her a warm smile as she stepped to the side and continued her hurried walk towards the exhibition.
She didn’t give herself enough time to register what she had just witnessed, instead, she pushed it far back in her mind and found consolation in the fact that he had found someone new, someone who probably made him happy. She could no longer be selfish; it just wasn’t who she was anymore.
Once Y/n stepped into the exhibition she had found all the guests in their seats and her boss, Dr. Kim already halfway through his speech, she cursed under her breath and hurried to take a seat beside Jimin and Harumi. “Everything okay?” Jimin asked, taking in her flushed cheeks and glossy eyes. She looked back at him and nodded “Everything is perfect” she reassured him with a smile. He reached for her hand and interlinked it with his, planting a soft kiss on her skin.
“And with that, we would like to give a round of applause to all the members of our staff who have outdone themselves with this year’s spring exhibition” The crowd began to clap and cheer, bringing a smile to Y/n’s face.
“I'm proud of you” Jimin muttered into Y/n’s ear before planting a soft kiss on her cheek which in return caused her to blush.
“Tonight, we would like to honor one of them specifically” Dr. Kim spoke, a small smile on his face. “They have demonstrated great leadership and creativity this year and have worked hard to make this exhibition what it is today” he gestured over at where Y/n sat with her family, a spotlight shining on them soon after.
“We would like to proudly invite Ms. Y/n to the stage to receive the award for innovation and performance from the MMCA.”
Y/n sat frozen as the words registered in her brain, she looked over at Jimin in complete shock and he offered her a knowing smile. “Go on,” he said, a chuckle falling from his lips. She stood and took slow steps as the room filled with clapping; she couldn’t contain the tears that streamed down her cheeks as she made her way to the stage.
she received the plaque in her hand with her name engraved onto it, she admired it for a moment and then looked back at the crowd that cheered for her. She stood in front of the microphone and hesitated to speak. Dr. Kim who stood beside her gave her a nod and she took a deep breath before she addressed the room.
“I’ve drank 3 glasses of champagne so this should be a breeze” she spoke which caused the crowd to roar in laughter. “I can only say that it was been a privilege to work on this project along with my colleagues and my team, it wouldn’t have been possible without them” She took a deep breath, looking down at the award in her hand once more.
“I also want to thank my family, my daughter who I adore, and my partner Park Jimin who never left my side during this entire process” She could see Jimin cheer from amongst the crowd, dancing with Harumi in his arms while they waved up at her. Her eyes then fell on Namjoon who stared proudly at her, a small knowing smile displayed on his face.
“And to those who have been by my side despite all the trials and tribulations that I have faced, may we continue to value art in the way we have” she concluded and in response, the crowd erupted in cheers once again.
As she stood on the stage, she could see them both. The man who loved her despite her mistakes and the man who would stop at nothing to see her happy. She tokened herself the luckiest girl in the world for having met them both in only one lifetime.
‘Art is a lie that makes us realize truth’
-Picasso
#jimin x reader#jimin angst#jimin au#park jimin#jimin bts#jimin fic#namjoon x reader#namjoon angst#namjoon smut#jimin smut#namjoon fic#kim namjoon#bts angst#bts smut#bts au fanfic#bts x reader
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jimin's kind of a dickhead & y/n is very close to losing it
➺ pairing; park jimin x reader // dickhead!jimin x TA!y/n
➺ genre; clearly i’m in my university!au era (can u blame me)!! honk honk humour!! do i smell enemies to lovers?? clichés clichés clichés but who around here isn’t a sucker for a good cliché!! let me indulge!!
➺ wordcount; 3.5k
➺ summary; y/n’s a teaching assistant for the summer semester’s english class and she thinks she’d have a much more pleasant time if one of the students wasn’t an obnoxiously-huge-sunglasses-wearing-comes-to-class-fashionably-late park jimin.
➺ what to expect; “you look way too young to be an actual TA. or at least a TA who knows what they’re doing.”
➺ currently spinning on the record player; popular (with playboy carti & madonna) — the weeknd
»»————- 📚 ————-««
you’re not sure if you’ve ever been this nervous for something before.
it’s not that you don’t know how to speak in front of a large crowd or you have stage fright or something like that, but after working your way up and finally landing the position as a TA for your english professor, the fact that you have to speak in front of a big group of students close to your age and have them actually respect you didn’t hit you up until now, ten minutes before class starts
and you feel like you’re about to simultaneously piss your pants and shit a brick at the same time.
you spent nearly forty minutes this morning picking out an outfit because you wanted to wear something that said “i’m professional, but i’m still cool and casual and you can talk to me about anything BUT there’s still a line that you can’t cross with me because i’m the TA and i’m not just one of you guys even though i kind of am one of you guys” and to be honest, there wasn’t a lot in your closet that screamed specifically that
you ended up going with a pair of bootcut jeans and a tank top with a light cardigan over top: professional, but still approachable… at least, you hope that’s the vibe you give off.
“okay, y/n…” you mutter, looking at your reflection in your little compact mirror to make sure your eyeliner isn’t smudging and there are no remnants of your breakfast croissant in your teeth, “‘hi everyone, i’m y/n, i graduated last year but i’m in my first year at our school’s grad program… really excited to get to know everyone this semester! promise i’ll take it easy on you when i’m grading your papers…’” you recite neatly, nodding to yourself in content
that’s a good way to introduce yourself, right?
it’s lighthearted but you’re still reminding all the students that they have to be on their best behaviour and they should be handing in their best work
“god.” you snap your compact shut and slip it back into your purse, leaning back against the wall and reaching up to adjust your glasses
…but what if they think you’re trying too hard to get them to like you?
this feels like you’re about to go out on a first date with eighty people all at the same time
and now that you think about it, you don’t feel like you’re going to shit a brick — you feel like you’re about to shit out an entire house.
“good morning, y/n!”
“professor kim! good morning!” you stand up from the bench when professor kim walks in through the doors, offering him warm smile and straightening your posture a little, “i got here earlier than i’d expected and i wasn’t sure where to go so i thought i’d just meet you at your office, sorry about that…”
professor kim seokjin had been your english professor from second year up to when you graduated, and after you told him that you were planning on continuing your studies and that you’d been accepted into your school’s graduate program, he made the generous offer to take you under his wing as his TA for the summer semester
you took the opportunity, of course, not just because becoming a TA would look really good on your resume, but also because you genuinely enjoy professor kim’s company and his classes are never boring (and it certainly doesn’t hurt that kim seokjin is very nice to look at)
and to be honest, you didn’t have much planned for the summer in the first place so it’d be good to make a little money and get some teaching experience
“what are you sorry for? the early bird catches the worm, you know what they say,” he beams, nodding towards the exit, “are you ready for your first official class as my TA?”
“i am!” you lie, forcing a bright smile on your face as you walk alongside him, “i mean- i’m- i’m a little nervous, but i… it should be fun! and summer classes usually aren’t as big of a size as the fall semester classes, so that’s easing my nerves a bit…”
“don’t worry, you’ll be great! and because this is our first class, you really won’t have to do much. i’m just going over the syllabus and then we’ll move onto a few writing exercises — and you’re right, summer class sizes are much smaller than the ones in the fall semester. there are only 80 students.” professor kim flicks his wrist casually and your eyes widen in surprise
eighty
eighty students
eighty sets of eyeballs staring right at you
you weren’t expecting eighty students — maybe, like twenty at the most
it’s summer!!! why the hell are people going to summer school?!
“eighty!” your voice cracks slightly and you clear your throat quickly before letting out a light chuckle, “right! i knew that. eighty.” you adjust your backpack over your shoulder as you trail alongside professor kim, chewing on the inside of your cheek anxiously
“and all you have to do today is introduce yourself and then walk around the auditorium and tend to any raised hands. honestly, you’re going to be fine. you were a fantastic student and i’m sure you’ll be a fantastic TA.”
“thank you, professor.” you smile shyly, feeling a little more confident knowing that professor kim thinks you’re going to be a fantastic TA
he’s right
you have nothing to worry about
you’re going to be great and this summer semester is going to be even better!
»»————- 📚 ————-««
you can feel your heart thrumming away in your chest as you stand in the corner by the front, keeping a polite smile on your face as the students begin to trickle in and the auditorium starts to fill up
a few of them smile at you and a few of them don’t, which is what you expected so you’re not taking anything personally
(of course, there was a group of students who looked at you and then muttered something to each other and looked back at you, but you’re trying not to hyper-fixate on whatever the hell that was)
((you will hyper-fixate on it in the privacy of your own apartment after class))
you have to admit that during your time as an undergraduate student, you usually never really noticed the TA and you were more focused on finding a spot in the auditorium or finding your friends
so maybe you really don’t need to be as nervous as you are right now!
you force yourself to stop clicking your pen anxiously before shoving it into the back pocket of your jeans, holding your hands in front of you as you continue to smile and say a few quite hi there’s and hello, hi’s as the students walk past you
a few more minutes of settling in goes by and you’re not sure what to do as you stand up at the front, occasionally looking over to see what professor kim’s up to
his back is turned to the students as he busies himself with connecting his laptop to the big screen up front and you would help out but you already offered at the beginning but he said he could handle it so…
“alright, everyone! welcome to english 405… settle down, please… thank you…” professor kim claps his hands together a few times to get everyone’s attention, the voices from the crowd dying out little by little, “thank you so much for being here! i know summer classes aren’t exactly ideal, but i promise our time together won’t feel like a giant drag in the mud.” he smiles, leaning back against the table as he folds his sleeves up to his elbows, “now, i see a few familiar faces in the crowd because i’ve had you in some of my classes last semester, but for those of you who don’t know me, my name is seokjin. you can call me professor kim or just professor if you’d like. you can’t call me seokjin or jin or man or my G or whatever the hell else you people are calling each other nowadays because i worked far too hard for my PhD for a 20-something year old to think it’s okay to come up to me and call me ‘dawg’.”
you can’t help but giggle with the class at professor kim’s introduction as you settle into your seat by the front, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back comfortably (you’re reminded that because you’re at the front and can be perceived by people that you should probably sit properly and not like a boiled shrimp)
“now, to be honest, i don’t have too much planned for our first class together just because it is the first class, so we’ll most likely cover the syllabus, do a few writing exercises to warm up those thinking caps, look over the reading list- that should’ve been emailed to you two weeks before classes started, so if you didn’t get that email, please let me or my lovely TA know-“ professor kim turns towards you with a smile before gesturing to you, “speaking of my lovely TA, would you like to introduce yourself?”
“i-“ before you get the chance to stand up from your seat, the auditorium doors swing open and smack against the walls, causing you to jolt in surprise and for everyone to turn back and look at who the hell is being so disruptive, “i…”
whoever he is has a pair of giant sunglasses on as he trots down the steps, clearly not in a rush, an iced americano in one hand and a laptop tucked underneath his armpit
an oversized black hoodie hangs on his figure along with a pair of ripped jeans, and you can’t help but frown because on one hand, it’s fine to be late if you come in and take a seat in the back quietly (you’ve been late to more than a few lectures because of a missed alarm, but you always try to be as courteous as you can as to not disrupt the class because you’re a decent human being), but practically kicking the door down and then making the auditorium steps your own runway is another thing
“jimin! so nice of you to join us this morning.” professor kim clears his throat, and you watch as this jimin guy takes a seat right in front of where your seat is off to the side, “i was wondering when you were going to show up.”
“what, i’m not late, am i?” jimin checks the time on his watch before taking his sunglasses off, leaning over and tossing it onto your seat, “it’s 9:06, prof.”
“surprised you even showed up at all.” professor kim mutters under his breath before reaching over to gently tap you on the shoulder, “sorry about that- please, go ahead and introduce yourself now that all of us, hopefully, are here.”
“i, uh- yes, thank you, professor-“ you clear your throat with a polite smile, turning back to face the front even though you find your eyes flickering over to glance at jimin, “i’m y/n and i’m super excited to get to know all of you this semester! i graduated last year but i’m in my first year of our school’s graduate program. and i’ll promise to be nice when i’m grading your papers if you promise that you won’t hand in any bad papers.” you try to bite back the shit-eating grin on your face when that gets a laugh from the audience and you press your lips together (jimin, you notice, hasn’t even cracked a smile), taking a small step back before turning to look at professor kim for your next move
“yes, y/n will be the one who’ll hand your papers back to you and she’ll be the one who deals with your ‘can you bump my 65 up to a 98’ requests, so please be nice to her…” the class laughs again and you’re reminded of why you loved being in professor kim’s classes so much, because he’s such a charmer! “does anyone have any questions for y/n?”
“not a question, just an observation-” jimin chimes in, leaning back against the seats as he runs a hand through his hair, “you look way too young to be an actual TA. or at least a TA who knows what they’re doing.”
“i- well, sorry to disappoint, but i am a TA.” you chuckle lightly, eyes narrowing slightly, “and i can assure you i know what i’m doing.”
“alright, we’ll see about that.” jimin raises both hands in defence and you can’t help but feel your eye twitch at how much of an asshole he’s being despite literally not knowing you at all
“by the way, class starts at 9, not 9:06.” you force a smile on your face, “not a question, just an observation.” you hear a couple of ‘oh, shit’s’ and low ‘oooooh’s’ from the crowd and you have to remind yourself to keep it professional because the last thing you want is to look like you’re bullying the students in front of professor kim
jimin’s jaw ticks as he shifts in his seat, “right, thanks. i’ll keep that in mind.”
“alright. we’ll see about that.” you shove his own words right back into his face again before turning to look back at the class, your smile softening significantly
“if there are no other questions or observations for y/n, let’s get started!” professor kim jumps in before anyone else gets the chance to say anything and you can’t help but feel a little bit of relief because one more second and you probably would’ve said something out of pocket like how massive jimin’s sunglasses are and how it makes him look as though one of santa’s elves escaped from the north pole and decided to go all wannabe emo, “now, i hate technology so i’ve printed the syllabuses out which will be handed out to you by y/n…”
you immediately snap into TA mode, turning around to pick the stack of syllabuses up from the table and cradling them to your chest, splitting them into sections so you can hand them out to the students at the end of the rows for them to hand them down the line
for the most part, everyone seems very nice and well-behaved, and you get a few compliments on your cardigan or your earrings or your glasses as you continue to hand the papers out (you’re pretty sure it’s because everyone’s trying to get on your good side so that when they beg you to change their grade on a paper you will, but you’re not that easy to bribe) but you find the smile fading on your face as you walk down the steps only to see jimin with an arm raised lazily in the air
the rings on his fingers twinkle slightly under the bright auditorium lights and you can’t help but notice how pretty his hands are
…they would be prettier if he wasn’t such a jackass
“jimin! how can i help you?” you press your lips together, resisting the urge to pretend like you never saw his arm and just keep walking
“could i get another one?” jimin asks, raising the copy of the syllabus he has to show you, “the staple on this one is weirdly wonky.”
“is that so? so sorry about that, i can get you another one if you can just give me a sec…” you decide to play nice considering the fact there’s always a TA evaluation at the end of each semester and you don’t know jimin but he seems like the type to completely rip someone apart in an anonymous evaluation
“i’m guessing you stapled them?”
“i did.” you nod, making your way over to your bag before bending over to dig through it for your spare copies
“hm.” jimin tilts his head slightly as his gaze drops to your ass, “makes sense.”
to be perfectly honest, he couldn’t give less of a shit about the wonky staple on his syllabus
he just didn’t like that dig you made at him about being six minutes late (six minutes isn’t even that big of a deal, you’re so obviously a teacher’s pet and he hates eager little teacher’s pets) so now he’s made it his mission to make this class a big ol’ nightmare for you for the rest of the semester
and sure, he can admit that you’re actually pretty attractive and he could see himself hitting on you if he met you at a bar or a club or something, but you’re his TA and you’re a stickler for rules so that kind of kills the vibe
…well, that’s not entirely true
there’s something about you being his TA that’s making his stomach swirl and he can’t really blame himself when his brain conjures up the image of him bending you over your desk as a way to bribe you to give him a higher grade on his papers because he’s certainly not planning on investing a lot of time or effort in this class since it’s just an elective
jimin shifts in his seat as he watches you crouch down so you can dig into your bag even more, your waist dipping and curving out into your hips quite nicely from this angle
…
he’s totally going to get you fold for him and convince you to give him a good grade by the end of the semester.
his tongue pokes out to swipe over his bottom lip at the thought of him coming to see you after hours (because of course you’re going to make an exception for him and allow him to see you at any time he wants, he’ll make sure of it) and again, he can’t blame anyone but himself when he can practically hear you moaning for his dick in his head (“what’s that, baby? you gonna bump me up to an eighty or am i gonna have to do a little more convincing?” “e-eighty, i’ll- ah- i’ll bump you up to an eighty, i-i will-“)
“here you go! a fresh copy for you.” jimin is rudely yanked from his fantasy when you suddenly shove a fresh copy of a syllabus in his face for him to take, “sorry that took me a minute, i have a lot of papers in my bag…”
“you’re good, y/n.” jimin smiles up at you as he takes the paper from you, “thank you for finding another copy for me. and i’m sorry about that comment i made earlier about you looking too young to be a TA, i was just being a shithead. i’m sure you could tell by the way the prof talked to me that this isn’t my first rodeo.”
you blink rapidly in surprise and almost immediately jimin can tell the wall you had up crumbles away as you give him a genuine smile in return, “oh! no problem at all, thank you for apologizing… i’m- i’m sorry i called you out on being late to class, i just- yeah, didn’t appreciate the comment you made about me-“
“oh, no, i totally get it. i would do the same thing if i were in your shoes. your comebacks were really clever. i would’ve laughed but i didn’t wanna give you the win.” jimin teases with a boyish grin and you find yourself blushing at his compliment
huh
maybe you were too quick to judge him so quickly
and even if he hadn’t come to class late and made a dig at you, you can’t deny the fact that the man is absolutely gorgeous
“alright, well- oh, coming!” you nod, raising your hand slightly to acknowledge one of the students in the back when you see them raise their hand before looking back down at jimin, “lemme know if you need anything.”
“oh, i will. thank you, y/n.” there’s almost a playful glint that flashes in jimin’s eyes and you nod again before heading up the stairs, your heart skipping a beat in your chest
interesting
very interesting
🎙️ compliment y/n’s regular-sized glasses or make fun of jimin’s giant sunglasses (talk to my characters!)
📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (full fics!)
💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series!)
🌟 or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!)
#dickhead!jimin#dickhead!jimin drabbles#jimin drabbles#park jimin drabbles#jimin fics#jimin fic recs#jimin fluff#jimin fluff recs#jimin au#park jimin#bts fics#bts fic recs#jimin x reader#reader insert#bts reader insert#jimin one shot#jimin one shot recs#bts writers#bts writer recs
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maybe me
pairing: jimin x reader
wordcount: 9k
glimpse: maybe it’s stupid of jimin to take on everything at once, all by himself. maybe it’s rash of him to book a long-term stay at a luxury hotel, even if it comes with a family discount. but maybe, just maybe, jimin would have nothing to lose and everything to gain if he lets you in.
alternatively, jimin’s a single dad who would do anything for his daughter, even if it means taking advantage of your trust.
[ part one, intermission, part two, intermission 02, finale ]
[ angst, dilf jimin is all over the place but he’s trying his best, wholesome fluff, emotional baggage, allusions to anxiety, moral dilemma regarding stealing, more angst BUT also eventual redemption in the next parts :) ]
notes: peter, the horse The Dilf is here o_O this series is finally out of the backburner and i can’t be any more relieved!! gentle reminder that it gets even more angst from here (so pls take a break when necessary!!) but i promise that there’ll be redemption <3
as always, lmk what you think <3 send in feedback n love to my askbox anytime!! even replying to this post sends me over the moon :) | series masterlist
Jimin can’t afford to have pride nowadays.
What he can afford, however, is crippling anxiety as a single dad to his ten-month old daughter and the overwhelming urge to restart and relocate to the big city where the two of them could have a better future. Those two things specifically, plus whatever his daughter sets her eyes on at the grocery store.
“Do you want this, Yuri?” Jimin looks down on her strapped to his chest with the best baby carrier he could buy, squinting at the label of the item she was so fixed on staring upon. “A sixty-six count pack of Ziploc brand sandwich bags featuring Lightning McQueen?”
Jimin attempts to think about it — like really think about it. His mind’s about to drift how Yuri’s already watched a few movies to enrich her brain (maybe talking cars isn’t the best idea yet) and she can recognize when Cars is on because of the ka-chow! he says under his breath whenever Lightning says it. He was just about to think how he could possibly rationalize purchasing so many sandwich bags until he doesn’t have to.
Yuri’s smiling up at him, all with tiny little teeth and dimples, and suddenly Jimin doesn’t have to think anymore; he puts the pack of sandwich bags with talking cars on them (that he has no real use for) in the cart.
It’s a relief that he could still afford these types of things.
Jimin would not stop at anything to provide for Yuri, giving himself a pat on the back for being wise with his money before she came along. He granted himself luxuries before there was her, but nowadays, luxury was merely defined as having the same things that mattered for his daughter. White noise machine with Bluetooth feature, surround-sound, bass boost, and reverb? Check. A crib that you can turn into a co-sleeper then a proper bed when she grows up? Check. A dispenser that warms up baby wipes? Check.
The moment Yuri was born, Jimin was no longer the skilled and reliable paralegal in a high-end law firm. The moment she first cried and was handed to him because his ex didn’t want her, Jimin became the anxious, yet extremely dedicated and loving, single dad.
Either he was extremely smart or extremely impulsive for doing everything he’s done the past week and despite it all, he’s here grocery shopping with Yuri and laughing as she keeps testing her grip strength on whatever they walk past.
It’s as if Jimin didn’t terminate his lease two hours ago and the moving truck he rented is parked awkwardly outside.
It’s as if he doesn’t have the tangible extensions of his and his daughter’s life right outside the store, from the boxes of his clothes to Yuri’s co-sleeper.
Jimin can afford sustaining himself, his daughter, and his quality of living for ten straight months without working. But if there’s anything that the past week has taught him, his worrying akin to when it was Yuri’s first night home and he didn’t know if he was doing anything right, Jimin can’t afford pride.
His phone rings in his pocket and it jolts him, almost making him cuss. He knows for sure that it’s the call he’s been waiting for since this morning, eyes closing in relief.
He can’t afford being prideful because he called the last person he’d ever build up the courage to ask for help — his half-brother.
“Jimin? What’s the matter, are you alright?” Namjoon asks, unbothered to mask his worry. “You called like 52 times.”
They don’t hate each other, they really don’t. They know each other because they lived under the same roof for years. There’s no animosity between them, just the overwhelming feeling of not knowing how to act around each other.
Between Jimin and Namjoon, there was respect. Perhaps, too much respect and formality that they’ve never breached the territory of acting how real, whole brothers do — warm and unreserved.
But it’s okay, it’s okay now that Namjoon answered. It’s always been okay with them and Jimin doesn’t want to jeopardize that by asking what he’s about to, but he has to take his chances. Whatever it is that his brother says, it’ll be okay too. Everything he’s been doing the past ten months, especially the past few weeks, is all for Yuri.
“Namjoon, you’re the personal assistant of a hotelier, right?” Jimin asks, holding Yuri’s tiny hand for comfort. “A-and you have benefits, correct?”
“Yeah, yeah,” Namjoon breathes out, still a little shell-shocked because he doesn’t know what this has to do with anything. “Are you okay? Is Yuri okay? Why did-…”
“Thirty-percent off for company employees when they stay at any branch of the hotel for less than a month,” Jimin recalls, proving that he was clearly listening the time Namjoon told him about his job. “And fifty-percent off for company employees who want to have a long-term stay.”
“Yes? What does this have to do with your missed calls?” Namjoon blinks rapidly, literally unable to read between the lines because Jimin barely gave him any to begin with. “Is my niece okay?”
Jimin’s heart briefly warms at Namjoon’s acknowledgement for Yuri but he shrugs it off for the meantime, remaining focused.
“And because you’re working directly under your hotelier, that benefit can be transferrable to family, right?”
It takes one, two seconds before Namjoon realizes that his half-brother wasn’t just rambling about his employee benefits out of nowhere.
In the cookware aisle where Yuri keeps pointing at the Le Creuset heart ramekin that he already knows he’s going to buy without a second thought, Jimin proves for the millionth time that losing his pride is no problem if it’s for his daughter’s sake.
“Namjoon, please. I need your help,” Jimin humbly admits. “We’re family, right?”
( ♡ )
Jimin loves hotels.
The moment Namjoon agreed to let him use his employee discount for a long-term stay at the hotel he works at, he hightails it out of the grocery with a lighter aura. Yuri perhaps notices it, being more calm now because as her head is pressed to his chest, she could feel how his heartbeat’s relaxed.
Jimin takes the four-hour drive to the city like an absolute champ, Yuri even more so now that she’s tucked to her car seat and reunited with her emotional support blanket with her name hand-stitched by Jimin himself. It wasn’t the best, really. The stitches are clear but the tension is off, the characters only understandable if you take a good second to stare and tilt your head because the alignment was lopsided. It wasn’t the best but it was Jimin’s best — that’s good enough.
He figured that doing a fifty-percent discounted stay at a hotel, a luxury one on top of that, would be a hundred times better and cheaper than renting a temporary place in the big, expensive city until he could find his bearings. Jimin didn’t need to pay utilities, breakfast would be taken care of, amenities were free, and he didn’t have to worry about the safety of the area; it’s practically equivalent to a vacation.
The moment Namjoon met him and Yuri by the lobby, Jimin feels like he’s been transported back to his childhood home where the couches were lived-in and the floors were warm from the paths of their steps. Namjoon only had ten years on him and yet he was always dignified in his eyes; sturdy to the point of stiff, yet polite when necessary.
Jimin didn’t feel that composed, calculated persona when he saw Namjoon time this though, not at all. With all his worry that he had never seen before on his half-brother, Namjoon embraces him. Fully hugs him tightly and he could even hear a relieved sigh, pulling away when he hears Yuri’s squeal.
She’s smart, that much he’s figured. Could already stand stably on her feet for a few seconds without assistance and say coherent mumbles here and there that would soon turn into actual words. In fact, Jimin just realized now that Yuri could also place faces, recognizing Namjoon whom she only saw probably five times ever.
“What’s with the sudden move?” Namjoon furrows his brows at him, taking Yuri from him without a word and he lets him because his arms were starting to cramp from driving.
“Came to me in a fever dream, actually. I didn’t know you could have that with two-hour naps even without a fever,” Jimin shudders at recollection of the haunting thought that came to him a few weeks ago. “A talking whale cussed me out and told me I was being a shitty dad by not giving Yuri the best I could.”
“You’re not a shitty dad,” Namjoon corrects him albeit softly, the conviction there but not as energetic because he didn’t want to jolt his niece awake.
“Eh,” Jimin shrugs, lightly laughing upon the realization that holy shit, this is the most unplanned, casual, yet deepest conversation he’s had with Namjoon. “I try my best, I guess.”
Namjoon reserves the other words he has in mind and instead digs his hand into his pocket, pulling out a keycard to the room that Jimin begged him for. “Have you eaten dinner already?”
“Nope. I fed Yuri at the rest stop, was supposed to eat dinner, but then we had to leave early because I remembered that I double-parked,” he chuckles, only dawning on him now when he looks around and barely sees people in the lobby that it was already late into the night.
Namjoon, who’s been itching to go home since four in the afternoon, suddenly lost the pressing urge to crash in his bed despite being ten in the evening. God, Jimin really is selfless. If he felt sorry for him awhile ago when he suddenly called him for a huge favor, he feels even more sorry now. The weight of Yuri in his arms reminds him that this is all the weight and more that Jimin’s carried alone for ten months and counting, heavy enough to make Namjoon think that holding off from going home a little longer wouldn’t hurt.
“I’ll call room service up for you. Your dinner’s on me,” Namjoon softly smiles, genuinely, and Jimin could almost pass out from the fraction of the brotherly warmth he— they could’ve had all this time if only they became close. Not just okay, but actually close.
“Thank you, Joon,” Jimin slightly bows, a force of habit that his half-brother wants him to get rid of. He’ll tell him off eventually, but not now when it’s clear he’s had a long day.
Barely thirty minutes since Jimin stepped foot into the hotel yet he could already tell that his stay here would be undoubtedly life-changing. It’s a new experience; a new, terrifying yet ground-breaking experience for him and Yuri to go through, but atleast they have each other.
When Jimin feels like drowning, Yuri drains the water for him.
The moment he taps the heavy metal card to the door, Jimin sighs in relief and thanks whoever is listening. The room exceeded his expectations and more, making the mental note to appreciate it later and instead instruct the bellman where to put the boxes for now with a gracious tip. Jimin still has so much things to unpack, calls to make, and arrangements to handle, but when Yuri yawns, he’s reminded of his first priority.
He sets her down for now on the middle of the large and pristine bed, unpacking and installing her co-sleeper first before changing her. Jimin could only hope that Yuri doesn’t take the drastic difference of environment too roughly, but nonetheless, he comes prepared because he’s already stacking the fridge with the coffee he brought.
When he sees Yuri sleeping soundly in just a matter of minutes (even without the white noise machine), Jimin knows he did a good job today.
He did a good job doing everything that he had to do in the past month and unexpectedly, so did Namjoon by being the reason to why Jimin could not stop gushing at all the free stuff he could take home.
The only problem at the moment is that home isn’t defined, but he’ll just have to worry about it tomorrow.
Jimin gives himself too many pats on the back for even thinking of the accommodation. Even the hair and shower products here were luxury, none of the unbranded, minimalist (is it really minimalist or is there little thought and budget put into it?) products that some hotels carry.
In fact, the sudden reprieve Jimin has from having the most stressful 72 hours he’s had after some time makes him feel invincible. Oddly brave. Oddly too courageous that before he knows it, he’s turning the hot water on and even more oddly, doesn’t rush his shower; even has the balls to exfoliate properly and put a leave-on body mask.
He’s fifteen minutes into his sudden self-nurturing moment until he hears Yuri squirming around, a murmur here and a low gurgle there.
Then she really starts to cry.
It’s the type of cry that makes him want to redo the last fifteen minutes and turn on the white noise machine before he went to go shower. It’s the type of his daughter’s cry that makes his stomach sink because it reminds him of the inkling feeling that shit, maybe he is a bad father. The type that makes him rethink of the sudden move and his performance as a dad the past ten months.
Jimin suddenly feels panicked again, the lavender and cotton scent of the mask on his scalp turning cloying to him as soon as he hears Yuri sob.
“Yuri, baby? What’s the matter?” he yells out as if she could answer, cussing himself under his breath.
“I-I just-! Appa just put on his scrub! It’s the leave-on type!” he yells out again for her to hear past the thick glass pane, having hope when her cries decrease in volume. “Five minutes? Can you give appa five minutes, Yuri? Please, baby?”
Jimin gathers his wits, strengthening his resolve. His plea was basically useless because Yuri cried even louder. The 4-7-8 breathing method he used to do when he stumbled on dead ends when researching case material as a paralegal is barely helping now, trying his best to ignore the sinking feeling of inadequacy.
His mom told him about this before. Yuri’s at that age where she just cries because she wants to! It’s okay, Jimin. She needs to know that she can soothe herself!
Five minutes, okay. For five minutes, Jimin would remain in the bathroom and try to relax, letting Yuri gather her bearings and soothe herself. Five minutes won’t hurt that much.
He’s jittery inside and now he doesn’t even get to be awed at the luxury shower products doing wonders for him, instead worried how Yuri will do in the 300 seconds she’ll be left alone.
It barely registers to Jimin how this must come across to the guests around him. He’s immune to Yuri’s cries to the point that he doesn’t fully grasp just how loud she can get.
You aren’t. You’re not immune to the cries at all.
You’re only supposed to be making your rounds before you go home, an unneeded routine that you do anyway because lately you’ve been procrastinating driving back to your own house.
You’ve just gotten out of the elevator when you hear a baby crying so loudly and clearly from the end of the hall that you just can’t ignore it. Even the room service staff who’s coming from the other hand is just as surprised, his cart coming to the direction anyway. Your assistant, Namjoon, personally instructed him to bring food to the door.
You’re a familiar figure to the employees, obviously because you’re the hotelier and come from a famous family of one. It wasn’t exactly the norm for the actual head of the hotel to do the rounds herself or appear and oversee operations regularly in general, but what shocked your employee the most was that you heard it too; it wasn’t just a trick of his mind that there’s a baby loudly crying through the soundproof walls.
“Why’s nobody soothing the baby?” you wonder out loud, brows knitting in confusion. You’re worried, that type of cry coming from a baby, or any cry in general, anchoring a sinking feeling on your chest.
“I-I don’t know either, Miss,” Seokjin, his nametag reads, replies. Not only is he worried about the baby who just won’t seem to stop crying, he’s also nervous because he can’t believe the hotelier is talking to him directly.
“Could it be that no one’s there? Just the baby?” your mind runs, bottom lip trembling. Situations like these worried you beyond explanation, your heart softening in recollection. “I-I mean, what if the baby isn’t okay?”
You wait for two minutes. You and Seokjin freeze and wait for two minutes and the crying still doesn’t stop, setting off all the alarms in your head that it makes you dig for your own card in your bag.
You screw your eyes shut and tap the master key, hoping that you’re in the wrong and not right about thinking of worst case scenarios. As soon as you open the door and quickly scan the room, you’re relieved when you see a cute baby crying her lungs out on a co-sleeper. You come to her just in case, holding her up and assessing for any indications of what could’ve made her cry this hard.
There’s luggages, boxes, and shoes. Chelsea boots that clearly don’t fit a baby’s feet.
Oh.
You’re in the wrong.
Jimin emerges from the bathroom with a towel on, still dripping wet. He thought his fatigued mind was playing tricks on him when he heard the door click, but as soon as his eyes adjust and he sees you, standing in his bedroom holding Yuri; someone he does not know at all holding a keycard different from his — he loses almost all sense.
“Who the fuck are you?! Why the hell are you holding my daughter?”
Your eyes widen, not only because you misread the situation completely and there’s a half-naked handsome guy in front of you, but also because you let your instincts overtake you again — this time overstepping into a guest’s room.
Jimin thinks your face is familiar but he can’t focus on that when all he could do is panic, his mind all over the place that he only belatedly realizes that Yuri has stopped crying since.
“Why are you— no, who are you?” you return the question, your panic for what the situation seems like suddenly returning.
“What the fuck? Did you just break into my-…” Jimin’s veins are about to pop out when he tries to register everything — from the way you’re dressed elegantly and sophisticatedly not like the employees, to your keycard being a different color than his yet managing to open the door, to how you’re just as concerned as he is and not trying to flee.
Oh.
Jimin thinks that he contributed to you doing your wrong.
“Miss Y/N!”
Namjoon’s voice bellows from the hallway, letting himself in after Seokjin quickly filled him in on what happened. He’s sweating and heaving, wild eyes flickering between you and Jimin, and then Yuri now that she’s suddenly awake, throwing her a little wave.
“Namjoon?” you and Jimin ask at the same time, staring at each other.
The two of you no longer look hostile but there’s more questions raised than there are answers given, your gazes syncing to look at Namjoon who’s still catching his breath.
“Oh, I see,” your assistant breathlessly chuckles, nodding to himself. “I-I see. I think I know what happened here.”
“Do you know this guy?” you’re first to ask, a hesitant look flitting to the man who’s still half-naked and dripping wet in his towel.
Namjoon nods, straightening his posture before looking pointedly at Jimin. “Yeah. Jimin, this is our hotelier — my boss,” he emphasizes, coughing and gesturing to his lack of modesty that it prompts aforementioned to cross his arms, unintentionally highlighting his defined biceps.
“Miss Y/N, this is Jimin,” he smiles, trying to diffuse the tension. You and Jimin both want to sink to the floor out of embarrassment, leaving Namjoon the odd one out because he knows now that his plan of coming home in the next five minutes is soiled. “He’s my half-brother.”
.
.
.
You admit that it’s rash of you to enter yourself in the situation. You may have overstepped your boundaries as both a hotelier and a stranger, but that didn’t necessarily mean you wouldn’t attempt to save face.
“So you’re her dad? Can I see some ID?” you clear your throat, finally being able to look him in the eye when you turn because he’s not only covered by a towel this time.
Jimin shakes his head, half in disbelief and half in amusement. He doesn’t even have to prove anything to you at this point, already being verified by Namjoon and yet for some reason, he still indulges you.
He runs his hand through his hair that’s still damp, walking across the room to get to his wallet and fetch his driver’s license.
“Her name’s Yuri and yes, I’m her dad.”
Yuri?
The name puts a knot on your throat, the melancholic taste of it making you cough. You just freeze as you always do, eyes still staring and hands still grasping Jimin’s ID.
Your eyes focus after a few seconds, having to physically shake your head to get the thought away. Looking at it, you have enough proof that he’s just so handsome even against the light in shitty license processing offices.
“And the baby’s?”
“Yuri’s identification?” Jimin clarifies, eyebrows furrowed because your question doesn’t seem that rational to his brain. “Yuri’s ten months old. She doesn’t exactly have a driver’s license yet.”
“Fucking dumbass,” Namjoon mutters, knowing that Jimin was completely serious and not joking at all. In fact, he looks slightly appalled more than he is concerned because he just swore while carrying his daughter (he does it too sometimes), but gets over it when Namjoon fills in the very large gaps in his thought process. “Birth certificate. Miss Y/N’s pertaining to Yuri’s birth certificate as her identification because of course, she can’t exactly drive a four-wheeler yet, yeah?”
If Jimin notices that this is the first time Namjoon’s been beyond casual, perhaps even snarky with him, he keeps his excitement at bay.
“Oh! Yeah! Birth certificate, I have that. I have that,” Jimin trails, looking for his binder of Yuri’s important documents. They all sit right inside the bag he used to take to work, his most prized law documents that used to occupy the space just stored inside random boxes now. “Right here.”
It’s a little sad, seeing that Jimin’s entire life and his daughter’s by extension fits into this standard hotel room.
Something about the scene incites pity from you, regardless if Jimin doesn’t want it. He looks composed at face value if you were to block the mess that’s happening around him, his charm undeniable.
The whole day’s been heavy on him, his night even longer. He’s better after his long-overdue, makeshift, and unexpected pamper shower with a surprising twist of events.
Namjoon didn’t want to leave the two of you alone because he’s quite literally the buffer, but even before he glanced at the side of your face with the same sentiment he uses at your drawn-out meetings, you already knew when to leave.
“I’ll be taking my leave. I’m sorry, by the way,” you excuse yourself, turning your head down in acknowledgement. “Thank you for choosing to stay here. I hope it’s up to your standards.”
“It’s — oh, oh! No need for that, please,” Jimin quickly corrects you once he recognizes your tone of remorse. The whole incident happened just fifteen minutes ago and yet he already moved on from it; he wishes you could too.
Come to think of it, it’s slightly funny.
“Good night, Jimin,” you smile slightly, your intent being mirrored instantly.
“Good night, Y/N,” he chuckles, a split second decision to not use the same title Namjoon uses for you because he’s not your employee. Speaking of, he brings his half-brother to a side hug, using it as a handoff so he could get Yuri back in his arms. “Night, Joon.”
You make a mental note to give Namjoon an incentive the next day, knowing that he’s been worked to the bone from this day alone.
The baby in Jimin’s arms sleepily wakes up for a moment, looking at you with big, shiny eyes that held the happiness to her dad’s heart before she settles back.
The tiny smile sneaks to your lips before you could even think about it, hand twitching at your side to give her a little wave even if she’s already asleep.
“Good night, Bambi.”
( ♡ )
You make your rounds even if it's unneeded, the exceptional hotel managers you've hired easily being able to do this for you.
But there's something about overseeing that you like; something to do about being able to observe and do things about it.
You’re a dedicated descendant of a family who heads a large hotel conglomerate, trivially committed to getting in touch with day-to-day operations — perhaps boredom is synonymous to dedication.
Namjoon says it’s nice having you around here, boosting team morale and all. Your hotel’s known for you being seen around by guests as if it’s a normal occurrence, a different experience from all the other hotels they’ve been in.
It may be nice having you around but you know to yourself that you’re unneeded around here. That this place would just run fine without you. Having the higher-up casually fill up Excel sheets is unusual, but it isn’t groundbreaking. Namjoon tries to convince you otherwise but you know when he’s trying to butter you up.
Trivial is the word when you take the scenic route to go to the hotel breakfast and see how things are going. Silly is the word when you line up to get your eggs benedict when you could’ve just turned any of the kitchen staff to your beck and call.
Surprised is the word when the guy in front of you turns out to be Jimin, his head turning to greet you fully because he recognized you from the corner of his eye.
"Oh, hello!" Jimin greets, Yuri flush against his chest with a baby carrier. He’s still dressed in his sweats but looks graceful nonetheless, as if he’s always lived here. "It's me, Jimin. The guy with the crying baby yesterday? You met me while I was wearing a towel."
He wishes you remember him still because your eyes look unsure, but to his surprise, you laugh lowly.
"Yes, Jimin. Hi. I didn't exactly forget you."
Yuri vocalizes with joy, reminding you how pretty she is especially when she’s awake and not shrieking. She’s always attached to the hip with her dad, making you wonder if Jimin has a stroller that he could set her down at.
"Sweet," he grins, tilting his head so Yuri can play with his hair gently. She’s learning the careful grasp nowadays, his hair a worthy enough subject. "By the way, I have some serious concerns."
Jimin gestures for the both of you to step out of the line but you do it even quicker, eyebrows furrowing in concern.
"Is your daughter okay?"
He’s pleasantly surprised that your train of thought heads to his daughter first, a faint blush gracing his cheeks.
"Yuri? Of course! I'm concerned about her but this doesn't exactly concern her," he waves off, bouncing her up and down. She calls for him, repeating abba (it should be appa!) in glee but the P sound’s gonna come soon enough.
"It concerns me. Well wait, now that I think about it, it concerns her, y'know? Because it has something to do with me and I'm her dad so by extension, it concerns her. Actually it's-..." Jimin stops himself, exhaling with his eyes downcast in embarrassment. "I'm rambling."
“It’s okay,” you assure him, hand twitching at your side because the sleeve of his shirt is twisted and you have this unspeakable urge to fix it, but he beats you to it. “I have all the time.”
Jimin chuckles heartily at that, but you don’t know exactly what was so funny about it. He walks ahead of you to lead you to his booth, Yuri’s diaper bag placed on the middle of the table to act as his reservation.
He makes sure to have you seated first. He was about to even pull a chair for you but it’s a goddamn booth, further embarrassing himself so he resorts to just putting his hand out.
"The hotel breakfast," Jimin sighs with a shake of his head, strapping Yuri to her high chair. "Do you plan to switch it up?"
"I'm sorry?" you stutter, expecting everything but that.
"Apology accepted, but not wholly," he purses his lips, squaring his shoulders and clasping his hands together while he stares at you intensely. It stays like that for awhile, making you confused for different reasons at the same time. Jimin breaks when you blink at him slowly, almost as if you’re close to tears from thinking.
"What's up with the same menu for breakfast again and again? The scrambled eggs are cute but I've been feeling the butter in my throat too much now," he says all in one breath, chest deflating in relief once he got it out.
You remain glued to your seat, lips parting open briefly but you don’t know what for because you’re rendered speechless.
"Here's what I'm thinking," he murmurs, holding his hand out for Yuri to play with because she likes feeling included in conversations. "French toast and naan. It'll be a hit with everybody!"
He’s been thinking about this for the past two mornings, daydreaming of what you could do to improve the menu while he spoon-fed his daughter.
"About the naan, what if there's a separate table dedicated for making your own dipping oil? Oh, oh, and I suggest a table for baby puffs! Not only would the babies love it, but adults too. I snack on Yuri's puffs when I'm too tired to cook. It's amazing, you should try it!" Jimin gushes, rifling through the diaper bag to retrieve the familiar packaging. "Here, open your hand."
"Jimin-" you snap out of your unintentional bout of silence, once again being pushed into it when Jimin grows impatient and pries your hand open with delicateness yet the same amount of eagerness as his daughter.
"Eat first."
Jimin still doesn’t let go of his hold on your hand, angling it to pop the puffs right into your mouth. He lets go of it once he sees you tentatively chew (you have no other choice but to), happily humming as he hands one to Yuri before he treats himself to some.
Surprisingly, baby puffs do taste good.
Your attempt to be prim and proper while chewing a godsend delicacy almost goes down the drain, willing yourself to clear your throat and not sound too amused.
"I'm not the chef around here."
"Okay?" Jimin scoffs playfully, narrowing his eyes. "You're the hotelier. You can make it work."
Jimin’s suggestion is not… trivial. It makes actual sense. He did bring it up to you in such an unorthodox and forward way, but past that, you know where he’s getting at.
"Believe me, changing up your breakfast menu will have your hotel named as the best in the world."
"It already is," you murmur. You do want to become humble, but condensing the whole excellence of your hotel to a mere breakfast menu makes you a little bit defensive.
"Source?" he raises his eyebrows, prying your hand open once again to put some puffs on your hand and you don’t even have the pride to deny him; they do taste good.
"Architectural Digest. Condé Nast Traveler. The-..."
"Wrong," Jimin boos loudly. "You forgot me. I haven't proclaimed it yet.”
Endearing would be the word for Jimin. Annoyingly endearing. He’s not cloying but he does invade your senses, even from a distance. He smells like baby powder and talks like the two of you have known each other your whole lives.
"I wonder how you react when your coffee order's wrong," you tut, pressing your tongue to your cheek.
Jimin breaks out to laugh, setting off Yuri to do the same. You don’t feel like you’re intruding — you feel like you’re included. Their eyes crescent and their heads throw back, and if only you had the chance, you’d take a picture of them for him to keep.
"I said, trust me. Take it from a paying, long-term tenant in your hotel,” he soothes you with his words, waving you off jokingly once he got over his fit of giggles.
"You've only been here three days and you're utilizing Namjoon's fifty-percent off discount."
"It counts," he gasps. "Take it from me as a girl dad. As a hot, stressed-but-still-hot, single dad of a baby girl named Yuri."
"Okay, hot single dad of Bambi," you smile, ignoring the fond yet slightly confused look of Jimin at your nickname for his daughter. "I'll think about your input."
.
.
.
"The dining area's gonna be rearranged?"
Namjoon looks up from his phone, the groupchat he was in that you weren’t a part of (your employees are still intimidated by you) pinging repeatedly.
He skims the messages, the furrow in his brow going deeper. "I'm also gonna say that the menu should be changed everyday?"
"Yes, Namjoon."
"Miss Y/N," he clears his throat, trying to word his thoughts in the best way possible but falling short. "Since when were you so interested about free hotel breakfasts?"
You look up from the game on your phone, a little break that you granted yourself because you were getting a little cross-eyed from looking at company projections.
"Since your brother cornered me to give some very passionate inputs about our breakfasts, that's when."
"He did what?" Namjoon’s eyes bulge, his phone almost falling from his grasp while he attempts to get out of your office in an instant. "Excuse me, I just have to sort-…”
"Ah, easy," you chuckle, gesturing for him to stay inside. "It's okay, he didn't offend me that much."
"Still. Jimin just has little filter to him most of the time and-..."
"It's okay, Joon," you shush him, reaching across your table to get your snack bowl. “Baby puff?"
Namjoon’s still wary but he looks down on your outstretched palm, taking it from you. He’s still a little agitated and dazed when he puts the tiny puff in his mouth, the crease on his forehead relaxing.
"Oh. That tastes nice."
( ♡ )
It's in the rooftop garden that you see Jimin and Yuri again.
Eating breakfast with Jimin and Yuri has recently turned into a routine, the hour and a half of conversation in the morning conditioning you to look for them more and more. He did get the french toast, the naan, and even the baby puffs that he asked for and more. You were a part of their mornings as much as they were in yours, the two of you in opposite sides of the booth while Yuri was at the end of the table with her high chair.
You unconsciously seek them, unbeknownst to yourself that you started looking for two familiar mops of hair at every facility in the hotel. Mornings were your common denominator, the rest of the day reserved for each other’s hectic schedule.
Jimin’s been busy being out and about looking at open houses, doing a job search on the side that’s still in line with working in law but would allow him to work remotely and on flexible hours. He wants to hold off working until Yuri turns one year old, but the truth was that he just can’t keep doing this up without a stable career.
He seeks you unconsciously too, looking for a familiar figure that’s dressed in true high-end clothes without the obvious logo. He deducted that wherever Namjoon is, you were too — Jimin barely noticed that he’s been texting Namjoon more frequently now, specifically if he wants to hang out during his break and where he is.
When you see him, Jimin's clothed in a thin sweater while Yuri's bundled up, knowing a cashmere sweater when you see one.
"No one's allowed to be out here this late."
Jimin doesn’t have to turn his head to know that it’s you, having expected for you to approach him because your breakfast earlier was cut short because you had an urgent meeting to attend to.
"I know, sorry. I suddenly couldn't read when I saw the sign," Jimin apologizes insincerely, accompanied by his chuckle that’s uncharacteristically low tonight. ”By the way, I didn't pick the locks or anything. I took the fire exit."
"I figured,” you hum, looking down the both of them. They’re sat by the edge of the pool, Yuri placed gingerly on his lap with her socks on (he’s not gonna risk it) while Jimin’s sweatpants are folded upwards haphazardly, his calves dipped into the warm water.
You hesitate if you want to intrude in their moment because after all, this is the only time the two of you are alone outside of your usual breakfasts. You feel like you don’t fit in, still in your fancy work clothes and in your heels while Jimin’s dressed for sleep.
He senses your hesitation, looking up at you as you’re still in thought. Jimin fishes a spare towel he keeps in his pocket (in case the usual towel he slings on his shoulder for Yuri no longer does the job) and lays it beside him, not wanting you to get your clothes dirty.
The night’s cold but you’re so warm, looking down on the towel with much appreciation in your eyes that Jimin chuckles and just nudges you to sit down already. He puts out a hand to set your glass down that he’s seen you nursing while walking throughout the floor at this time of the night, the smell of it familiar.
"Yuri was fussy. Gave her a bath, changed her diaper, warmed her a bottle, sang her a lullaby, checked her socks. Nothing worked," he explains even without you asking, cradling his daughter to the crook of his neck. "Went outside the balcony for fresh air but there was someone smoking next door."
You’re about to apologize for something you didn’t do but Jimin interrupts you, glancing upwards at the sky that he hasn’t taken the time to look at for so long.
"Ta-da. Rooftop garden does the trick."
"Scotch?" you hum while offering, your glass with a tall serving of it already halfway finished. Jimin shakes his head, a shaky sigh leaving him.
"Can't, I'm on the clock. Have been for ten months," he says it matter-of-factly but the undertone of melancholy doesn’t leave it, looking down back at your glass. “You can drink around me if you want to, though. I don’t mind.”
You smile tightly, grasping the glass in your hand but turning away your head as you take a sip because you didn’t want to rub it on Jimin’s face. He looks at the back of your head as you do, stifling laughter because you do it so quickly since you didn’t want to be disrespectful.
When you turn back, Jimin’s gaze is back at Yuri, the way his eyes sparkle still apparent in the dim lighting.
"She's pretty,” you mumble, admiring the way she looks angelic even with faint tear tracks on her cheeks.
"Thank you. All from me," Jimin quips, running his thumb on her cheek as he resists the urge to bite into them because he’d wake her up. “I’m glad she looks like me."
The question is just hanging over both of your heads in the thick air, his reply being the perfect introduction for you to finally ask. You’re not in the position at all to ask about it, but in the same way Jimin beckoned you to sit right next to him, you felt that it was right.
"How about her mom?” you whisper, looking down on your rings to avoid his inquiring gaze. "If she looked like her mom, would she still be pretty to you?"
Jimin knew you were going to ask him eventually about the other, yet absent, person in the equation, but he didn’t know you’d ask him this way — a question if he would still love Yuri if she didn’t look like him.
He nods solemnly, looking down at her. ”Of course. She's my flesh and blood, my daughter. She'd still be pretty to me, even if she looked like... the woman who birthed her."
"Sorry," you apologize once you register Jimin’s tone that isn’t light as it usually was. "Sensitive topic?"
"I've moved on," Jimin smiles albeit bitterly, never quite reaching his eyes. "I hope that when Yuri gains consciousness, she moves on too."
It’s a prayer he makes even if he isn’t particularly religious. It’s a wish upon a shooting star in a sky he barely looks at. It’s too much to ask for, to hope for, but Jimin still does nonetheless.
"Moving on is tough, though," you answer, running your finger along the circle of your glass. “Some people don't move on at all."
"Not when it's unfair," Jimin pokes his tongue to his cheek, a pained scoff leaving him. “Not when it's cruel."
Jimin’s a dam that just endures, taking typhoon after typhoon. He reserves and represses and in odd moments, in crucial and unguarded instances, Jimin catches himself slipping.
"Yuri’s mother doesn’t want anything to do with her," he speaks thickly, hand moving to cover her ears even if she’s sleeping and yet to comprehend. "She’s the heiress of her parents’ law firm. Also used to be my girlfriend of five years, actually," he laughs without the humor behind it, pursing his lips at the thought.
“She’s a lawyer. I’m a paralegal that knocked her up.”
"Jimin,” you call him when you feel that his gaze goes too far, too disconnected to realize that he’s here now with Yuri well and safe in his arms. It may be only his arms that cradle her, but it’s with love that fills in for two people and more.
"Is that Japanese scotch?" he suddenly quips, peering to your glass. He seems pleased when you confirm his guess with a gasp, smiling to himself at the minuscule victory. "Can I have a sip?"
You nod, offering your glass to which he’s eager to take. He’s just about to when he realizes that there’s a weight on his lap, one that wouldn’t blend well when he drinks.
"Can you uhm, can you also hold her while I drink? Just a little, I promise."
Without even thinking of it, you agree.
You take Yuri into your arms and press her to your chest, not having Jimin to correct you on how to hold her because you did it correctly and she didn’t even fuss.
"I'm here because I'm in between things. Haven't worked for ten months, sold my apartment to try and relocate to the city, I need to figure out where we are going in life because Yuri's turning one year old soon, and my backup plan doesn't sound too bright,” he confides in you after he takes a sip of alcohol, the all too familiar yet distant burn in his throat washing him over in nostalgia. It hits him harder than he expected.
"What's your backup plan?"
"Live in a cruise ship because the cost of living is cheaper."
"That actually sounds kind of smart,” you chuckle in delight, shaking your head. Jimin does tend to think out of the box, you easily bet that he was an excellent paralegal before he had Yuri.
"Yeah, except the fact that I get seasick easily and I'm scared of the ocean."
The admission of his fear pries an unexpected laugh out of you, covering your mouth as to not jolt Yuri awake.
"Not funny," he deadpans but the amusement on his face is visible. “You know how I want to take Yuri to an aquarium so bad but the aquarium glass for ceilings terrify me?"
You snort, visualizing an image of Jimin shaking his boots looking at stingrays overhead him. "Her Uncle Namjoon can take her then."
"He can, but I don't want to be indebted to him more than I already am,” he sighs, having considered the idea before.
"She's his niece,” you reason, the sentiment behind it already apparent.
"Only half."
"He loves her, though. I can tell. You can tell," you shrug, the solution in your head still unwavering. “He told me about Bambi a couple times already. Even before you went here."
"He does?" Jimin sounds genuinely surprised, schooling his expression to look unfazed. It’s apparent to you that the both of them don’t know each other closely. “He loves my daughter because she's his niece; of course he would. But as brothers? I don't think we're quite there yet."
You make a noise of disapproval, knowing genuineness when you see it. You know to yourself that Namjoon’s a sincere employee and an even more sincere person.
"Are you older or younger?"
"Younger," he answers, furrowing his brows because he senses that Yuri’s bound to wake up soon. “My — our mom remarried after his dad died.”
You can’t react accordingly because true to his instinct, Yuri does fuss. The way she fusses makes it known to Jimin that if he doesn’t take her back to their room and on her co-sleeper, she’ll fully wake up and throw a tantrum.
"That's enough of my baggage for one night, don't you think?"
He concludes it at that, looking at you with a somber smile. He exchanges your scotch for his baby, skillfully standing up before helping you do the same. You dust off the towel he lent you but he waves it off, telling you to keep it the next time the two of you talk like this again.
Jimin’s an enduring planet and Yuri’s a young moon, the way he looks at her enough for you to know that she’s lucky to have him as a dad.
"Good night," Jimin bids you goodbye, pressing Yuri's forehead to his as if they’re telepathically exchanging thoughts. "She says good night too."
( ♡ )
Jimin's reminded to never drink again after just five sips of scotch.
He woke up with an existential crisis, something that hasn't him in a state this bad before. He's raising his ten-month old daughter alone, there's neither an apartment nor a house attached to his name, has no job, and he's living in a hotel.
It makes Jimin claustrophobic, making him realize that he's close to the end of his wits and probably has been for a long time. Has he really been this lost all this time? Has he really been acting this pathetic despite having a daughter to raise alone?
It's so hard to breathe, carrying Yuri close to his chest on top of that. He smells her hair to try and ground himself, but even the scent of his daughter mixed with his perfume barely does anything to calm him.
Then he gets the call from his dad. He’s so numb; the tips of his fingers prick with electricity but he doesn’t feel, his ears ringing at yet another reminder of one of the multiple responsibilities on his shoulders.
"Jimin, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," his dad sighs remorsefully. “They're calling me in for some tests again."
Right, Jimin almost forgets. He's supporting his dad secretly.
It was a dire situation, something that only the two of them know. Three if you count Yuri and her attentive eyes whenever he's on the phone.
His dad's been feeling sick for quite some time now. No one's quite sure of anything, making the whole process complicated and extensive; whatever it was, it's only between him and his dad for the time being.
Jimin was sure of two things — a) that his mom has a frail heart and hearing about a possible threat to his dad's health would be detrimental, and b) that the funding should come from him because at the end of the day, Namjoon shouldn't be responsible; after all, Jimin is his father's son, not Namjoon.
It's overwhelming, just so overwhelming that as soon as Yuri fusses as soon as she wakes, calls him appa with a B, and lightly cries, Jimin does the same.
She must be hungry, making him go on autopilot to prepare her bottle but when he opens the tin, he sees more of his distorted reflection inside the cylinder than the actual formula.
Fuck.
Jimin prepares Yuri’s bottle anyway, a lump stuck to his throat as soon as an idea forms in his head. Neither the lump nor the idea leaves him and it pricks the tears from his eyes more, keeping his daughter preoccupied because now she suddenly stopped crying to observe his instead.
He’s chipping at the ends and the very core of his whole mind is raw. All he has are doubts and insecurities and the way Yuri looks at him, like she trusts him even if he’s hugely lacking as a dad, doesn’t console him.
Jimin comes down and meets you as per usual, giving you a side hug and coming into the booth with ease as if there's no tension in his shoulders and in his mind.
He thinks he’s doing a good job at acting casual but you could see how vacant he looks, his eyes missing the usual glint of playfulness that he bore. You give him the benefit of the doubt and assume that it’s his fatigue from the night before; maybe it’s just the hangover from the few sips he had from your drink.
"You and Bambi look a little rough," you observe, piping in as soon as he settles down. “I’ll fill our plates. Just sit here."
Jimin looks at you with an unknown emotion, eyes wide and glassy. You can’t read him and neither can he, the brief moment of vulnerability being cut short when he thanks you.
You walk to the tables, filling the tray with two plates for you and Jimin and one bowl for Yuri like it's clockwork. It's easy for you to fill it all up from memory, to adhere to a routine you've built in just the three weeks you came across Jimin and his baby.
It's hard for Jimin though.
It's hard because this one particular thought never leaves him, the only one he ever had as a solution to quell the anxiety he has that peaked just this morning.
Your bag's right on the table; small, open, and expensive right in front of him, taking your position while you get breakfast for him and his daughter.
Jimin screws his eyes shut, taking several exhales that don't even placate him. He looks outwardly casual, dipping his hand in there as if he's just looking for mints and as if he's known you enough to literally stick his hand where it doesn't belong. As if you trust him.
And that's the thing — you do trust him.
Jimin spots your wallet and opens it as if it's his own. Counts the bills mentally as if he's just counting ducks and takes half of it, thumb swiping quickly. He’s never done this before.
Yuri somehow knows because as soon as Jimin's thumbs through your banknotes, all of them in the highest denomination, her bottom lip trembles, a shrill cry following soon after.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry, Yuri,” he whispers, screwing his eyes shut. God, this is wrong and yet he can’t stop. “This is bad but it’s a justified bad. Don’t be like appa. Don’t steal like me, okay?”
He whispers the last part because even he can’t fathom himself actually doing it, chest becoming heavier by the second. He folds the money in half and stashes it inside Yuri's diaper bag, heart still beating erratically even if he’s already hid it.
“Appa's taking care of a lot of things a-and things are tight, especially with your grandpa's situation, y'know? And you’re running out of formula and we need to stock up before there’s a shortage again," he explains, voice trembling as well as his hands.
Yuri isn’t soothed, however. She throws her head back while calling for Jimin again and again like she’s the reflection of his conscience — his conscience that he’s already tainted the moment the idea went into his head.
“Don’t cry, Yuri. I’m sorry. I’m sorry, Y/N, fuck,” he whispers over and over again, the tears in his eyes threatening to spill whenever he repeats your name.
You come back with the breakfast, barely noticing anything except that Jimin looks even more spent than five minutes ago since you last saw him. Yuri had already started calming down before you approached the table and stopped completely when you set her bowl in front of her, your eyes curious to why Jimin can’t even meet your gaze.
You realize it later, when you fish your card from your wallet because you need Namjoon to run some errands for you.
It's lighter, barely noticeable. The set of bills you've had in it isn't as thick than the last time you saw it, but you could easily chalk it up to you seeing things, or lack thereof.
It hits you completely when you see your crumpled withdrawal receipt in the bottom of your bag instead of your wallet, having a habit to use the paper as a makeshift clip for your banknotes. It would only sink to your bag if somebody had touched your wallet and took your money; it couldn't have been you because after all, you haven't done anything today that required you to pull out your cash.
Then you know when you have someone pull up security footage for you.
You see it clearly despite the slight grain; Jimin and his hands inside your bag, casually rummaging through it as if you're good companions and know each other.
The thing is — Jimin doesn't know much of you.
The security technician is appalled, even more appalled than you are and huffs when he follows your gaze. He's about to press on his radio and bark out orders when you gently put your hand before him, solemnly shaking your head.
It’s okay.
It's for Yuri.
You keep to yourself, thanking your employee before you gather your things and exit the room.
Namjoon's been looking for you and he's a little perplexed to why you would go to the surveillance room of all places, catching up to you as you walk across the grand lobby.
At the corner of your eye, Jimin enters the hotel, holding a sleepy Yuri and a plastic bag of what you can discern to be his daughter's needs.
Jimin tries to catch your attention and attempts to walk alongside you and Namjoon — you pretend not to notice.
#and how r we feeling :O intermission is up next!! <3#jimin imagine#jimin oneshot#jimin oneshots#jimin angst#jimin angst imagine#jimin x reader#jimin x y/n#jimin au#single dad jimin au#dilf jimin#park jimin imagine#park jimin oneshot#jimin scenario#jimin fanfic#jimin x you#bts jimin imagine
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i hate everything about you | pt. 2 | pjm
・pairing: ex!jimin x ex!f!reader
・genre: exes to ? | angst | smut
18+
・word count: 4.2k
・summary: accidentally, you bump into your ex who, mind you, previously cheated on you. so you're 99% sure the only feeling you have left for him is sheer hate. but the 1% leaves you questioning.
・banner: by the amazing @/kookdiaries
・A/N: i'm very sorry for making you wait for so long ): but finally, here's part 2 of this story. i wanna thank everyone for the amazing feedback 💜
again: here's a playlist for y'all to play as you read it, if you want to hehe
as always, thank you to my soulmate @primadonnasdream for helping me build my stories. hope you guys enjoy the reading :))
if you wanna be added to any of my taglists, just leave a comment here. feedback is always appreciated, sweeties 💜
・permanent taglist: @goldenhoney-cas @yuugehn
・taglist:@imluckybitches @bbtsficrecs @minijagiya @jackinthethroat @arckyive @chimchimmarie @bex-92br @rkvi @hoseok666 @joonsytip @callmejimmeo @koreanaestheticc @tea4sykes @pamzn @nikkiordonez12 @withluvjm @natalie-rdr @south09 @hannahdanyelle @vonvi-blog @leticiaesteveslp @sheylamc @kooklovee
You like to think of yourself as a not complicated type of person. Most of the time, you’re logic-oriented, try not jumping into conclusions and, above all else, you don’t waste your precious time obsessing over things that are outside of your control.
This has been working for your chill personality for your entire life just fine, but when it comes to Park Jimin, none of it applies to you.
Today, you wake up feeling extremely tired after the awful night of sleep you obviously had. Unfortunately, you couldn’t think about anything else other than fucking Park Jimin. The things he had said kept replaying in your mind in a never ending loop. Totally obsessing over it and this is so unlike you, it hurts.
You watched the dark shades of the night turn into the golden shades of the morning through the thin curtains of your bedroom window. What did he mean when he asked you if you still had no idea? Was he trying to manipulate you or was there something you really didn’t know about the situation?
As much as you keep trying to convince yourself that you don’t want to dig into it, you know that you very much want to dig into it. You nor only just want, you need to. If anything, it’ll give you closure. Although it sounds bizarre and you honestly didn’t have the faintest idea of what this could be about, it really felt like some part of Jimin was being honest.
“I wanna tell you everything”, he actually said that. Maybe there is something to be told. Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking, maybe you are only falling under his spell all over again. But the fact that you were the one who did not let him speak last night is eating you alive, now you’re anxious and nervous and it’s all your own fault.
You were just sure things could not go on like this, because it was starting to affect your work. You kept losing focus on your meetings with clients, forgetting about important tasks or overlooking details that should not be overlooked. This is where you draw the line. You can’t allow Jimin’s influence in your life to go this far. One time was enough, you can’t allow him to mess with your head again.
After pondering about it for hours, you decide to go looking for him. You know the only way out of this spiraling mode you’re in right now is to have an honest and thorough conversation with Jimin, because you deserve to know the truth.
When you arrive at the bar, the place Jungkook took you last night, you see Jimin’s car parked nearby. It was almost exactly six o’clock and you’re sure he had arrived at work already, he’s always been a responsible guy. Luckily, as if destiny was giving you a hand, not even a minute later you see the glass door of the bar being opened and a second later Jimin passes through.
You see your ex heading towards his car, he doesn’t seem to have seen you across the street. You hesitate for a second, but you force yourself to go to him.
Each step you take in his direction makes you want to just run away as fast as you can, almost as if you can’t take the anticipation. You need this. You need closure. You can do this, Y/n.
As you got near, you saw him looking for something in the glove compartment, still unaware of your presence. You take a deep breath and call his name.
“Jimin?” You’re surprised with how confident you sounded.
He snapped his head in your direction, confusion stamped all over his face.
“Y/n?” He furrowed his eyebrows, turning to you as he spoke. “What are you doing here?”
“Can we talk?” You looked him in the eyes and he returned the deepness of your own. “Please?”
“Y/n, about last night… I’m really sorry. I was drunk, I shouldn’t have gone there and bothered you with my shit”.
“I can forgive you for last night if you tell me the whole story”, he looked down to his feet before you could finish the sentence, breaking eye contact with you. “Jimin-ssi, I deserve to know”.
He turns his back, delicately closing the door of his car. He, then, turns back to you, finally looking into your eyes once again, the surprise from his eyes is gone and you’re not sure of what you see there.
“All I can say is I’m sorry for last night, but”, he leans and rests his body against his car, displaying an annoyingly nonchalant expression on his fucking face as he shrugs. “There’s nothing to tell”.
At this moment you remember why you hate his ass. It’s ridiculous how he can look you straight in the eyes and lie to you after the scene he pulled hours ago in your house.
You take a deep, frustrated breath.
“Fucking bullshit! Thanks for reminding me how much of an asshole you are, Jimin. I almost forgot”, you smile dryly. “I hope next time you drink, you don't show up at my doorstep whining again, ok? Next time I’ll call the fucking police”.
With a smirk, he declares. “There'll be no next time, Y/n. Rest assured”.
“Well, praise the lord, huh?” You reply in a sharp tone, not allowing him to say his piece. “I regret every single tear I’ve wasted on you. You… You were the worst mistake I’ve ever made”.
He glares at you with contempt plastered all over his face, his plump lips tightened as his brows rose. You wish punching people in the face didn’t cause as much trouble as it does, because you can swear to all gods that have ever existed that the only thing you want at this moment is to punch this expression off his face.
“Say that again”, he challenges you, brows still in the same position as before, with a darker shade of brown on his eyes.
You refuse to give him the satisfaction.
“You’re not deaf”, now you’re the one who answers challengingly, raising your own brows as you try to speak calmly. “Next time we bump into each other, do me the favor of pretending you don’t know me”.
You turn your back to him and march back to your own car, hating yourself for dragging your ass all the way to this fucking bar again, only to have him mock you. You rush back into your car, knowing fully well that there’s a big chance that Jimin’s still observing you, so you can’t allow yourself to cry. You were not even sad, you’re genuinely pissed, but unfortunately you’re an angry crier.
You could run over him if it wasn’t a crime. As you are about to connect the keys to the ignition, you hear a soft knock on your window and you just know it’s him. Rolling your eyes, you turn your head in Jimin’s direction and he gestures, asking you to roll your window down.
You do as he says and hiss impatiently. “What?”
“One last fuck and we’ll forget about each other”, he licks his lips in an obvious attempt to make you feel something.
Unfortunately, you do. But fortunately, you’re pretty good at hiding your emotions when you really want to. So you just throw your head back and let out a very ironic laughter.
“What’s so funny, Y/n?” He asks you, with a piercing look in his dark eyes, tilting his head to the side slightly.
“I just told you you were the worst mistake I’ve made, man…” You let out another laugh, less energetically. “Are you into degradation now? I’m not really into that kind of kink, sorry”.
“Oh, come on, Y/n. You fucking love angry sex”, he declared in a lower tone, with a raspy voice that he knows makes you feel things.
He has a point, you do love angry sex. As you keep silent, Jimin continues.
“Let me take you to my place, it’s just around the corner…” his eyes focus on your lips as he speaks. “Let me fuck you, until you forget why you’re mad at me. You know how good I am… Just this one last time, then you can go back to pretending I don’t exist”.
You do know how good he is. You hate to admit, even if it’s just to yourself, but he’s more than good. Your sex life with Jimin has always been great, actually, that’s why you got even more hurt when he cheated. You used to think you were enough for him, that you satisfied him as much as he did to you. Apparently not. And that broke your confidence and self esteem in a way that you’re still trying to recover.
You’re pissed at him, but you can’t deny that you’re still insanely attracted to this motherfucker, regardless of your history. Your mind desperately says no, but your but urges you to say yes.
“Why would I say yes to this ridiculous proposition?” You scoff, trying to mask the fact that this is you already starting to give in.
“Simply because you know you want me to fuck you”, he declares with a knowing smirk.
The way he’s looking at you right now is definitely not helping you to stay focused on maintaining your sense of dignity. His plump lips slightly parted, forming a deliciously attractive dirty grin, his eyes intensely glued onto your own lips as he waits for your answer. You can’t deny how magnetic he feels.
He leans further in your direction, cupping your face with one of his hands, running his thumb over your mouth. You are simply unable to stop yourself from delicately parting your lips, taking his thumb between them and sucking it softly. He lets out a heavy breath, locking his dark eyes with you as your skilled tongue runs along his finger.
“Let’s go, babe”, he almost begged this time.
He didn’t have to ask you again, unfortunately. He opened your car door and next thing you knew, he was dragging you up the stairs of his building until you saw yourself inside his small apartment.
As soon as you were inside, he pushed you against the front door and started kissing you hungrily. Just like the last kiss inside your place last night, it feels like Jimin is hungry for you, it feels like he can devour you right then and there. His tongue tastes yours with desperation, making it difficult for you to breathe. One of his hands lands beside your head, on the door, and the other travels up your body, from your waist to your boobs.
The kiss is messy and intense, not only for him, but for you too, your mind can’t seem to focus on anything other than Jimin. It feels like time and space aren’t real when you’re with him, just like it was then.
Reaching for the hem of his shirt, you tug it in order to get rid of it as quickly as possible, getting rid of yours in the middle of the way too.
“You missed this, didn't you?” Jimin places your hand on his abs as he whispers with a cocky grin.
“I think you missed these much more”, you reply with the same amount of cockyness as him, guiding his hands to your boobs.
“Oh, I fucking did”, he whispers again, mouth already glued to your neck as he kneads your breasts.
In the back of your mind, a little annoying voice tries to warn you, saying you will regret this later. But, honestly, who gives a fuck? Life’s hard enough for you to worry about future regrets. You’ll hate yourself for fucking Jimin when the times comes, right now, all you want to focus is on his devious tongue and the crazily good patterns it’s drawing all over your neck. You’re so lost into Jimin’s magic that you don’t even realize you let a moan escape your lips driving your ex even more mad.
His mouth is back on yours and he pushes you towards the couch sitting in the corner of his small living room, throwing you carelessly against it. His tongue is already pushing his way between your lips, you close your eyes, focusing only on the intensity of Jimin’s kiss. It feels like you’re back to the beginning of everything, this kiss feels like what it felt like kissing Jimin for the first time. The passion is still there and you will deal with it later.
“Let’s get rid of this, shall we?” He asks you, pulling the strap of your bra down, almost not waiting for your nod of approval.
You both sloppily get rid of the rest of your clothes, tossing them carelessly on the floor of your ex’s living room. Next thing you knew, he had two fingers in you and your nipple in his mouth. He sucked and licked your nipples in a passion that had you gasping and his fingers were bent inside your thoroughly wet pussy. He knows exactly what he’s doing with his fingers and his mouth, he knows exactly how you like it and that’s why it feels so good. Being with someone who knows you and what you like is so much better than spending the night in a stranger's bed like in the countless one-night stands you’ve had the past few months.
“You’re so fucking wet right now, babe… It’s ridiculous how much you want me to fuck you, huh?” He teases you, lips brushing lightly against your already sensitive nipple as he speaks.
You let out a loud moan this time, staring back at his intense black eyes, and nod.
“I do, Ji”, in a distressed attempt for grounding, you scratch his back with your nails, not minding if it’ll leave him marked or not. He gasps and you continue.
“Please, just fuck me, Ji-”.
“Of course, babe, anything you ask”, he cuts you mid sentence.
He pulled his fingers out of you and, before you could whine about it, he shut you up with another messy kiss, but also full of desire. Without breaking the kiss, he lifted both your bodies up, switching places with you on the couch. He positioned himself between your legs, making the tip of his cock touch your wet and throbbing folds.
“Rid me, Y/n”, he asks you, half tenderly, half assertive. “Show me how much you miss me”.
You felt something inside you shake. This is so fucking wrong.
But without thinking too much about it, you let your weight down on his cock, feeling the delicious stretch all at once. Both of your breaths falter, basking in the divine sensation of him being inside you.
Your hips started moving on their own, as the pleasure started to consume your mind completely. You had your eyes on Jimin’s beautiful face, now fully taken over by lust, darkening his features in an irresistible way. His plump lips parted and he moaned, making you forget completely about everything else around you.
Your movements were starting to become desperate, feeling the way his cock fills you up completely, as he tries to pick up your speed with his own skillful hips. Both of you were loudly showing how good you can give it to each other.
His hand travels up your body, as he lifts his upper body to reach the back of your neck. He sticks his tongue out and licks the side of your neck, the warm and moist sensation makes you close your eyes instantly.
“If you don’t take it slow, I won’t last much longer, babe…” He whispers, as he grasps your hair tightly. “Can I take over now?”
You hum. You love being in control, but you love it even more when Jimin is in control. He instantly switches positions with you, thrusting hard the moment your back touches the couch, in a slower, but deeper pace compared to how you were riding his cock just now.
The intensity of his thrusts have you clenching around his cock. Shaky breaths leave both of your lips, both of you too focused on the ecstatic feeling of being together. The sounds of your wet pussy being snapped against his cock, his balls slapping against your naked ass mixed with your moans and pants.
“I could…” He thrusts you one more time, deeper than before. “Fuck this pussy forever”.
You feel your walls clenching tighter around his cock, not missing a single inch of his length being pushed inside of you.
“Look how… how good you take it, babe”, he groans in your ear with his cock buried deep inside of you.
You feel his cock twitch and another moan escapes his parted lips. You’re both almost out of breath. You know he won’t last much longer now if he continues to hammer you in this intensity. Your body tingles with pleasure with every single thrust of his hips.
At this point, you’re just a moany mess. Your heart is racing and in every pump you can feel the adrenaline flowing through your veins. Jimin’s thrusts start to become desperate and out of pace, while you can feel the burning sensation building in your lower stomach.
One of your hands travels to your clit, your head snaps back when your fingers finally touch your throbbing sex, feeling the divine sensation spreading throughout your body. Jimin replaces your fingers with his own, with a cocky grin hanging on his swollen lips.
“Fucking slut, look at you…” Moving his fingers in circular patterns as he pants and thrusts and gazes at you with his dark, lusty eyes. “You still like it messy, huh?”
“Ye-”.
Before you could finish, the electric sensation takes over your whole body and all you can focus on is the pleasure taking over you. You whimper as the orgasm spreads through your veins, screaming Jimin’s name. Clenching even harder around his dick as your pussy spilt out your juices all over his twitching cock.
He bites your shoulder and you feel like he’s on the brim of cuming too.
“Ji, I- I want you to fill me up”, you whispered in between your pants. “I want it all”.
“Y-Yeah?” You know he’s struggling to hold back by the sound of his shaky, low pitched voice. “Are you gonna take all of it like the good girl that you are, babe?”
You want him so bad. You want to feel everything you missed out on in the last months away from him.
“I will, Ji, please”, you looked at him, eyes pleading as you gave yourself completely to him. Once again.
He thrusted deep inside of your pussy one last time, allowing his orgasm to take over him and cuming deep inside of you, painting your clenching walls white. Both of you are too out of breath to move, so you just take your time breathing and trying to recompose yourselves before Jimin pulls out of you. Sweat covering both of your naked bodies on a weekday afternoon.
You closed your eyes, feeling the tiredness and soreness, but also the delightfulness and the lingering sensation of pleasure. This motherfucker was right, what you two have is not easy to find. This chemistry.
You open your eyes when you feel Jimin’s body weight being lifted up from yours. You take your time looking at him and he is still just as beautiful as you remember. Not just hot, that’s obvious. But he’s also beautiful like very few men in the world are.
He sees you’re staring and smiles cockily.
“Too handsome, huh?”
“Unfortunately, I have to agree”, you roll your eyes, almost playfully.
He laughs softly and throws himself on you again, laying his head between your breasts and hugging you. It’s ridiculous to admit, but it just feels right.
Both of you remain silent. The only thing that can be heard are both of you trying to catch your breaths, but you don’t even pay attention to that. You’re nervous. There are so many questions you wanna ask and even though this feels right at this moment, this man made you suffer like hell not so long ago.
“Ugh, I don’t wanna get up”, he declares in a lazy voice, his face still between your breasts. “You almost make me want to miss work”.
You sigh. This is too much, too domestic, too nostalgic, but you want to be right here, exactly like you are, in his arms. All the things he said to you yesterday flash through your mind. How he said he missed you, how he begged for you two to talk and you refused to listen. You were hurting so much you couldn’t see through the pain and resentment.
“I’ve missed this”, you finally confess in a whisper.
But you’re sure he could hear you, because his arms closed even tighter around you.
“Me too, babe”, he murmurs the answer.
Your hand travels up to his silky hair, running your hands through his locks. You’re not sure how long you just stay together like that, enjoying each other’s existence silently, but you finally break the silence.
“We still have a lot to talk about, don't we?”
He lifts his head to look you in the eyes. “Do we?”
“You think we don’t?” The protesting tone was clear as you voiced the question, specially because you didn't find anything genuine in his eyes when he asked you that question.
“We don’t”, he averts his gaze, laying his head almost between the crook of your neck and your shoulder.
“Jimin, look at me…” You try to sound as firm as possible, but it sounds more like a plea than a command.
“Baby… Just- Let’s not do this”, he whispers. “I can’t”.
You lift your body with your elbows so you could look at him, making him untie his arms around you and sit as well.
“What do you mean, Jimin-ssi?” You try again, speaking slowly so your nerves don't get the best of you.
You don’t want to believe that this is true. He can’t treat you like you’re some random booty call.
“Hey!” He tries giving you an obviously empty smile. “What happened to Ji? I prefer when you call me Ji”.
Also sitting up, bending your legs in order not to touch his anymore. The way he’s speaking to you right now, the way he’s looking at you with empty eyes and an empty smile. You know where this is going and you feel sick to your stomach with the idea that you allowed Jimin to get in your head again and, once more, you end up hurt.
“And I prefer when you tell me the truth!” You raise your voice now, trying to find on his face any signs that you might be wrong.
“I thought I had made myself clear when I said I have nothing to tell you”, he states firmly, averting his gaze from yours. “I have already asked you to forget about this”.
You feel a huge lump in your throat, trying your best not to allow the tears to form in the corner of your eyes. You are not crying in front of Park Jimin ever again. You refuse. Even though it hurts just like it hurted before, you’ll save your tears for another time.
“Really? After fucking me, you’re just gonna ask me to get the fuck out of your life like nothing happened?”
You watch his face contort, like he was profoundly thinking about what to say next. You suddenly see his expression change and you know this is his sassy snarky side taking over, nothing serious comes out of him when his eyes reflect his darker side like that.
“I was horny, you were horny. I thought it was clear it wasn’t a bargain”, he still doesn’t look at you while he speaks. “It was just sex”.
And he shrugs. It’s clear to you that this shit’s been a fucking joke to him. A sick fucking joke you never expected him to be capable of. This is not the Jimin you spent years with, the one you loved, the one you wanted to get married to at some point in the past.
His words cut through you. Just sex.
You hate everything about this Jimin.
“Of course it was just about sex… I’m sorry if I misunderstood the situation, Jimin. ” You push his legs aggressively so you can get out of the couch. “Excuse me, I wanna leave”.
You start collecting your underwear and clothes from the floor of his stupid house, trying your best to block the tears away. You dress yourself hastily, while Jimin watches you in silence. You head for the door, but he holds your arm lightly, trying to stop you.
“Hey, Y/n… Don’t be like that, I���ll feel guilty”, he pleads softly again.
“Get your hands off of me”, you groan between your teeth without turning to face him. “Also, fuck off”.
He lets go of your arm and you leave his apartment as soon as you can, slamming the door behind you. You rush back to your car and drive away as fast as you can, only allowing yourself to cry your anger and pain out when you’re tucked in bed later that day.
#jimin angst#jimin x reader#jimin x you#jimin fic#jimin fanfiction#jimin fanfic#jimin series#jimin smut#jimin au#exes to lovers#bts fanfiction#bts series#bts fic#bts fanfic#i hate everything about you#bts smut#bts x reader
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