no one is safe

29|03|2023

This slight anxiety for exam season is not really leaving me. I am trying to focus on smaller tasks, not to be overwhelmed by the bigger picutre, but I have this feeling of running out of time and not making the most of it. I think it's mostly due to the fact that I am very intimidated by the quantity of stuff I have to study for my protohistory exam, and although I have generally worked very well in the past few weeks I am afraid I won't be able to study everything. I really hope I can find a way to silence this anxiety, because as I had mentioned in previous posts my goal for this spring break was to at least get a couple of days of no studying at all, but I am starting to be afraid I won't be able to do that. On top of that I have yet to figure out what my weekly routine will look like once I pick up my new classes, since I'll have to commute to uni every day. My brain tells me I have to focus on one thing at the time, but for some reason I am struggling a bit. It's like my anxiety induced thoughts spill out a bit sometimes.

Productivity:

finished my first outloud review of the history of libraries and reading material

wrote down a set of key words to review for that exam

started to reread my old prehistory notes (there's a lot of informations I'll have to study for my protohistory exam and I think it's a good way to refresh stuff I have studied already) I read about the Chalcolithic eraand started with the Bronze age part of those notes

finished setting up my bullet journal for April

reviewed out loud my materials for the history of libraries and reading exam for a second time

practiced Irish on duolingo

posted this book review

Self care:

read first thing in the morning

played my feel good playlist a lot

listened to a podcast while playing mindless games online to relax my brain a little

📖: Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman (I don't know if it's exam season draining me but I am going super slow with this book. I am not loving or hating it, I am not sure I got into the story properly, there's something about the characters that doesn't totally convince me. Thankfully Gaiman's writing is always super light for me so it's not too hard to stay focused while reading although I don't have lots of energies)

If there is interest, I'm toying with the idea of uploading the introduction chapter script to the comic somewhere. It's looking like it'll be around 20-25 pages. I've almost finished it, and I'm in a weird position where I don't really know where to turn to for feedback??

(that's the one thing that really sucks about not being in art school anymore...no one to go to for crits!!)

I want to write the majority, maybe around 75 percent of the whole story before I do any art...cause what if it turns out this project actually is really bad and I've been caught in a mental vacuum thinking we have a great thing going lol...

It’s a skimming through old journals kind of day !

Still here.. still getting back.

im so missing everyone online and doing art... im trying push back recover!!! try moment make into my art projects when i have effort of energy. (i miss drawing my fav mad doctor too)... making so hard, playing "my time in sandrock" on my Nintendo switch since it lunched nov 2nd.. been least good distraction while trying get over my eczema problems.

others out there who struggle with there own skin problems like mine, it effect both inside as much outside problem, immune system struggles against inflammation problems and effect of weather dont help. (allergy season with pollen makes great combo too)🌺

Stay Strong 👍 and moisturize your skin keep it healthy. 💖

July wrap up on a content note🌧️🌥️⛅️

winter cafe

“well, she most definitely has anxiety and depression” they say. as if it isn’t obvious from my leg tapping profusely on the floor, my hands gripping around my mother’s arm, as if asking her to save me from this zombie like state that is in store for me. but I knew if I ever said the words, it would lead to soul sinking regret. there is something more going on, and still, no one can seem to pin point it, even me. it is funny how they have known me for an hour of their life, and have the audacity to diagnose me with a label they might’ve halfway forgotten since grad school. I don’t think I could ever put myself into their minds, so how am I supposed to believe they get into mine?

Is it all bullshit? are shrinks a false hope for all of us crazies ? are we doomed to feel this way for eternity? am I really ducking bipolar ? are you kidding me. why. I don’t want to be. I am not bipolar. I know I am not.

goodnight

Journalling about the best case scenario works.. just saying ˊᵕˋ

Start A New Journal With Me!!!

What I left behind in 2022 by Interstellex

See more like this.

my reading record - few pages that are not blank

To create is to rebell against god.

He said "It was good" and through the very act of making we say "It can be better."

Journal Entry •° 17 | Better

= McKenna Gray =

18.10.2022. 🎧Seven - Taylor Swift🎶

Waiting to pick up mom at the airport. I'm so glad she's back home and we can finally put an end to the awkward roomate situation my dad and I have been in for the past 3 months.

I realized halfway through this week how much stuff I have to get through before the end of the month. I don't know why I always leave things for the last minute and then book back to back activities like sleep is optional or something. 🤦🏻‍♀️

I spent the whole week working on my writing sample/editing and it is still not done??? I had to take a mini break and get myself a milkshake before I had a mental breakdown. Again, it's fine we are going to be fine it's all good.