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themoonsbeloved · 4 months

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I still need help

Its now the 8th of January and despite being told by my friend who spoke with her boss 3 weeks ago during their meeting that he was to hire me in the beginning of January and would reach out to me, he hasn't. I'm hoping somehow, eventually, when this man finally bothers to, he will contact me for a job offer since he reassured me back in november that he still intends to hire me. But since I have no idea when that will be, that means I'm left hanging completely.

long story short I am mentally ill and disabled who was dismissed from my last and only job that I struggled 2 years to get, only to be fired in 2 months in June because of my chronic fatigue and abusive managers. I rely a lot on my henna but bookings are not consistent enough to make regular income, and majority of the money ends up going to contributing to house bills for my family.

My therapy picks up again this week, very honestly been the only thing keeping me from harming myself at this point with how painful life has been and I want to be able to continue getting it low cost (£25 per session), my therapist is so amazing and we recently came to the understanding that I have complex-PTSD, and plan to look into it more this year. I'm too mentally ill to try and look for jobs right now and am basically doing 3 jobs already (one being joint caring duties with family members for my grandparents since I live with them, which I'm not paid for obviously) with inconsistent money coming in/sessional work that I will be paid for once completed further into the year.

I have so many other costs that are coming in the near future, like paying for more medication, and for more lazer hair removal sessions for my severe hirsutism, which usually is around £300 if I'm lucky to catch offers. This is another I thing I mentally can't afford to stop doing, struggling with severe hirsutism and the trauma of it all my life means its important I can feel and live somewhat comfortably in my body. Lazer hair isn't permanent and I'm looking into electrolysis, but again, I don't have that money yet and would prefer to not leave a huge gap where I don't do lazer and the mental torture of watching my body hair grow back. I also haven't gotten my eyes checked in over 3 years, and know I will need a change in perscription and need new glasses. I hate nothing more than what its come to. I'm just exhausted and burnt out from the constant anxiety and depressive episodes, I'm barely eating or sleeping, I'm sick of everything and everyone and I just wish god would give me a break.

With all of the above in mind I'm aiming for about £600. This is all basically to help me just function and continue getting the things that help me not succumb to my mental health issues. If anything, my birthday's coming up in feb so I would appreciate it if folks gave some money if they have the means to. Anything is fine at this point.

Thank you so much

https://paypal.me/iffiia?country.x=GB&locale.x=en_GB

£0/£600

#help

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thatfreshi · 8 months

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We Never Cease Being Lucky (Astarion x Reader)

TW - anxiety attack

Recommended Song: Renee - Sales

You absolutely adore birthdays. Although, you haven't celebrated yours since you met Astarion on that godforsaken beach. You remember asking when his is, as you do with everyone. He trailed off, distant.

"I... I don't quite remember."

You never asked about it again, but that sadness kept you in a chokehold. How could you go so long without celebrating your birthday? It's not fair, to not be able to celebrate life, to have that ripped away from you.

Once you end your adventures, you buy a house together, free from all the past pains, dancing on hardwood floors far from anything that ever hurt you. You still live in Baldur's Gate though, and you realize something one day while lying in bed.

"Aster, you were born here, right?"

"Of course, never left, well until I was taken."

You smirk, a little plan unfolding in your mind.

"I know what we're going to do this evening."

It's not often you have a suspicious smile across your face. He's curious.

"Well my love, please do tell."

"We're going to break into the courthouse!"

He laughs, sitting up to stretch, letting go of the slumber.

"Adorable. As far as I recall, we're done with our silly little adventures."

You just stare at him, and he realizes you're serious.

"Wait, why do you want to break into the courthouse?"

"It's a secret!"

"I feel as though it's hardly fair to ask for my assistance if you're not even going to tell me why."

"Well, it's for you. You'll see."

"Alright then, I revoke my complaints. Breaking into the courthouse, sounds great."

He used to be a lot more secretive about it, but he loves when you do things on his behalf. You don't often get such an opportunity, but tonight, tonight you finally get to give him something he's been missing for so long. Of course, as long as everything goes to plan. You tell him to grab a few lockpicks, and the two of you head out into the darkness.

"Sooooo, you can't even give me the slightest hint as to what you're up to?"

"Nope, but at least now you know it involves your very own specialty: sneaky criminal activity."

"Now, I think I have quite a few other far more interesting specialties, but I guess I'm just a glorified key to you."

He scoffs.

"No, you're just really good at getting into places quietly, and I think if I did this by myself I'd probably get arrested, and I definitely don't need you bailing me out considering you'd hold it over my head forever."

"Well you're right about that."

You give him a playful shove, and he trips on a loose cobblestone.

"Okay, rude. Maybe I'll turn you in anyways, say you were trying to involve me in some illegal heist against my will."

"But if you do that, you don't get your surprise!"

"Ugh, fine. I'll play along."

You shush him as you get closer to your target. There's a sleeping guard posted outside, one that the two of you successfully sneak past, finding a side entrance.

"Do you have any idea where this door leads?"

"Nope."

You smile at him, and he rolls his eyes.

"You're asking me to open a lock and you have no idea what's behind it? You clearly are not as masterful of a thief as you used to be."

He starts to pick away at the lock anyways.

"Well, I have been in retirement for a little bit."

At the end of your sentence, you hear that final click, and he opens the door. When the two of you get inside, it's pitch black, all the candles and oil lamps burnt out.

"Do you see any signs that say Records?"

"No, what would I possibly want with the city's records?"

"You'll see! Gods, just let me do something nice."

"It seems like I'm doing most of the work so far..."

"It's fine. Once we find the records room I can do the rest. You're just helping."

He can't resist that grin of yours, clearly excited by your mysterious plans. Astarion gives in, sighing as if he's bothered, but the two of you continue to look for the records room. Eventually, you turn a corner to yet another locked door. You bat your eyes at him, and he goes to work once again.

"You owe me after this."

"Please my love, I'm telling you you're gonna be so excited!"

"If you insist my dear."

He gets the second door unlocked, ushering you inside. He casts fire, lighting up a nearby candelabra. You're met with bookshelves stacked high with pieces of paper loosely put together, turning more golden and tattered as you look to your left.

"This is it!"

You immediately start to look at the dates on the records, finding the range of about two centuries ago. Without a care for the organization, you quickly flip through years and years of records, looking for anything that could be a birth record.

"Darling, I thought the point was to sneak in here, not throw papers all over the floor and have someone know we were here."

You ignore him, becoming a little desperate to find what you're looking for. The text is fading on some of these documents, making it hard to know they're not his. He crouches down on the floor beside you, realizing you're stressing out about this unknown objective.

"Hey, hey, Tav. What's wrong?"

You start to tear up a little, thinking this would be so simple, that this stuff wouldn't be so carelessly stacked on shelves.

"I can't- I can't find it."

You throw the stack of papers on the floor, wiping a tear off your cheek.

"I know you're trying to do something nice for me my sweet, but maybe if you told me what you're looking for, I could help you."

You sniffle, trying not to go into a full sob.

"I- I wanted to-"

You choke up, almost unable to speak. He takes your hands in his.

"Breathe Tav, breathe. In, and out."

You listen to him, trying your best to just inhale and exhale. You didn't think this attempt was going to lead to an anxiety attack, but luckily he's dealt with plenty himself. Your breath steadies as you tightly grab his hands.

"Now, what are you looking for?"

"I... I was trying to see if I could find your birth certificate. You know, since we don't know when your birthday is and all, I thought it might be nice to know. I feel so bad, it just passes every year and you're none the wiser."

He's dumbfounded, shock in his eyes, almost a little confused. You were having an anxiety attack just now because you weren't going to find when his birthday is?

"Darling, I... that's very sweet, but nothing worth this much stress. I haven't even thought about it in years."

"Yeah, but I just really love birthdays, and I just wanted a day where we could celebrate you, you know?"

"I appreciate that sentiment, truly, but if we can't find it, it's okay. You tried, and that's enough. Besides, what's the point in keeping something almost three centuries old at this point?"

"I don't know, I thought that was their job, to keep old shit."

You look at the scattered papers, and he follows your gaze. Something catches his eye, a document sitting to your left.

"Wait, look at that one."

You turn, picking up the piece of paper and holding it in the light of the flame.

"Holy shit."

He sits himself on your shoulder, looking at the writing with you.

"Gods, I really am that old."

You smile, another small tear falling.

"Aster, look. It's tomorrow."

He continues to read, eyes crossing the date again.

"We never cease being lucky, do we?"

"No, I guess we don't."

You turn to kiss his cheek, and then roll up the paper, putting it in your bag.

"Wait, you can't just take that!"

"Why not? Means more to us than them."

You simply shrug and he shakes his head, almost in disappointment. You clearly had no intention of making it seem like you weren't here. He doesn't stop you though, as he can't deny he'd like to keep his birth certificate as well.

"Thank you my dear, for always thinking of me."

"There's nothing more important I could think of."

#astarion #baldur's gate 3 #baldurs gate astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #fluff #comfort

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feelbokkie · 5 months

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Winter dates with SKZ

Feelbokkiemas Day 3

genre: fluff

pov: 2nd person

description: various winter themed dates that you would go on with skz.

pairing: bf!skz x gn!reader

warnings: swearing, slightly suggestive

word count: 1,276

☀️Feelbokkie M.list ☀️

🎄12 Days of Feelbokkiemas🎄

방 찬 (Bang Chan)

Bake and Decorate Cookies Together

to be fair, you took over the baking portion after the first batch got burned

completely Chan's fault, if he just kept his hands to himself, none of this would have happened

while you worked on the new batch, Chan is doing his best to salvage what he can from the burnt cookies

halfway through, he's giving you a back hug while you continue to bake, nestling his face into your neck

clearly, he didn't learn from his mistakes with the first batch

"Channie, stop eating those. we need them to decorate the cookies." "but i want to snack on something...and you told me to keep my hands to myself." "eat the burnt cookies,"

the decorating part goes as smoothly as possible

you reenact the 'do you know the muffin man' scene from shrek

and more frosting ends up on each other than the cookies

and there is more candy in your stomach than on the poor cookie

at this point, you should have just made a desert charcuterie board and called it a day

이 민 호 (Lee Know)

Overnight in a Cabin

he loves camping so a little overnight in cabin is perfect

cuddling by the fire

going on walks by the frozen lake

go back to cuddle by the fire, yet again

oh what a shame

The two of you spend more time just cuddling up against each other than anything else

"I'm almost convinced that you brought me here just to cuddle." "you can't prove that. now get over here, i'm freezing."

you two find other ways to keep warm

like cooking together and eating hot food

and dancing together in the living room of the cabin

and well, other ways too

서 창 빈 (Changbin)

Building Snowpeople

this is going to end up way more chaotic than it started off

like all things, it started off innocently

you two were walking back from a date when you slipped and fell into the snow

instead of standing up, you just started making a snow angel

after checking on you, Changbin joined you in making a snow angel

that's when you quickly got up and pelted him right in the face with a snowball

big mistake

"Hey!" "Try to get--oh shit,"

pelts you with a bigger snowball

the two you just keep hitting each other with snowballs, Changbin's getting bigger each time

"Wait, wait, wait! Truce! But I have an idea."

that's how the two of you end up building snow people together

"Look, yours is your height!" "Yeah! But we're taller than yours!"

eventually, you "accidentally" knock his over

cue to Changbin chasing you around with the head of his snow person

황 현 진 (Hyunjin)

Ice Skating

you'd think that with how gracefully he dances, it's be easy for Hyunjin

you're dead wrong

he's as graceful as a newborn giraffe trying to walk for the first time

it's pitiful really

if you also don't know how to skate, it becomes a game of survival

if you can skate, you're now in charge of a baby giraffe Hyunjin

eventually, he gets the hang of it

he's doing a weird stance like he's squatting and his hands are in front of him in case he falls, but he's moving

if you can skate, you're literally skating circles around him to 1. check on him and 2. pick on him

if you can't skate, good luck. you're on your own now. he's fallen so many times, he's not letting you drag him down with you

slowly but surely, he's getting the hang of it and getting out of the squatting position

except, there is one problem

"Y/n...Y/n...Y/n, how do i stop?"

한 지 성 (Han)

Watch Holiday Movies Together

perfect date night for when it's too cold to do anything else

or two introverts

maybe just the one introvert

you two can crank up the heater, and order food

cuddle up next to each other

feeding each other snacks

the two of you hardly get up from your position

the whole time you two are cracking jokes with the movies

and just chit chatting the whole time

"wait, shh, this is my favorite part."

"we, personally, I wouldn't let a 12 year old disrespect me like that." "i don't think you would be able to outsmart his traps." "no, no, i'm built different."

and you'd sing along so some of the songs while watching

"~grandpa is gonna sue the pants off of santa...~" "what even is this movie?"

and if the movie is boring? don't worry, you'll find other ways to get through it

이 용 복 (Felix)

Build a Gingerbread House

separately, you two would have been fine, but together?

it's a disaster

in all honesty, you probably should just bought two kits

it started off well

and that's the problem

you two got cocky after successfully assembling the walls

Sure, you had to sit there and whole the walls together while the walls dried

but they weren't immediately slipping and that was enough to give you a false sense of hope

the two of you have a christmas movie on in the background and are talking about how you should decorate the house while Felix puts some icing on the roof pieces

Felix left for one second after setting the roof pieces on top to get a napkin to clean up his mess

and that's when all hell broke loose

"It's falling, it's falling, Felix it's--"

splat!

"Oh no," "Oh naur," "Hey, hey, hey!"

the roof falls and cracks on impact

you let go of the walls and those fall too

"okay, plan b: we get a hot glue gun--" "I wanted to eat the house though." "...Okay plan c,"

The two of you just end up decorating the pieces of the house and eating them while you finish watching the movie

김 승 민 (Seungmin)

Going to See the Christmas Lights

tt's more of an impromptu date

the two of you were walking home after spending the day together when you stumble upon a street completely decorated

before walking down the street, the two of you go and find a place to get some hot chocolate to keep you warm as you walk

the two of you just have fun walking hand in hand, drinking your warm beverages, and talking a bit

"wow, imagine their electricity bill" "rich people behavior," "aren't you...you know what, nevermind."

"wow, that house is really pretty" "not as pretty as you... hey, hey don't take off your coat!" "i'm suddenly really hot!"

Seungmin will softly sing christmas song while you two walk

"when we get a place of our own one day, do you want to use color lights or white lights?" "hm...i used to be a color light person but i think we should do white lights." "really? why?" "i dunno. something about it reminds me of the twinkle in your eyes when you smile...ha! i made you blush, minnie." "s-shut up!"

양 정 인 (I.N)

Decorate your Living Space Together

works out well if you two live together

cute if you two live apart

and two separate dates

either way, Innie is putting you in charge of the decorating

he just doesn't want to mess up anything and will gladly let you be in charge

somehow, accidents still happen

he's clumsy, he can't help it

"Y/n! help!" "what happened--how did you manage to get your whole body tangled in the lights?" "can we talk about this when i'm not in a prison of lights?" "a prism if you will." "i love you, but you're "pushing it." "i'll leave you in there"

"hey, how attached are you to that nutcracker ornament?" "what happened to norman?" "...norman has gone into the light...and the trash." "Jeongin!" "it wasn't my fault!"

it gives you the excuse to go shopping together for new decorations

and make new memories with the new decorations

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

Taglist

@puppysmileseungmin @jiisungllvr @its-hannjisung @veedoesntknaur @turtledove824 @lanatheawesome @marked-unknown @kibs-and-bits

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logan368 · 9 months

Note

Hi! I saw that your requests are open. Do you think you can do a Grian x reader, fluff?

Make some time for yourself

Grian x Gn! Reader

You don't know how long it had been. You'd been pushing yourself to get this done because you knew the second you took a break you'd lose motivation and you didn't know when you'd get it back. You also didn't take into consideration that maybe you getting burnt out had something to do with the fact that you spent so much time hours and days on end. It was so close to being done you couldn't give up now.

"Y/N!!!!" You jumped in shock as you turned around and saw a very angry avian staring at you.

"Oh hey Grian, can't talk right now. I'm kind of busy." You pushed your boyfriend away and continued pressing on to your build. When someone grabbed your hand pulling you back.

"Uh no, people have been trying to get your attention for days now. You need to sleep and a break." Grian glared at you.

You grumbled the thought of sleep making you yawn. Had it already been 3 days? You had completely lost track of time. Grian pulled you along to your starter base. Completely against your will.

"G my base will never get done."

"Y/N you do realize these things take time. You can't just keep going at it until your body forces you to take a break. You worry me when you get like this." His eyes were starting to water. "It makes me sick to my stomach watching you overwork yourself."

You gulped and looked at your boyfriend giving him a hug and cuddling up close to him and before you knew it you were passed out in his arms. Grian looked down and smiled at you shaking his head before taking you to your base and setting you down on your bed. "What amu i ever going to do with you." He sighed petting your hair.

You woke up and yawned stretching when you're moments were stopped by a rock? Did you finally overwork yourself until you passed out. When did you pass out? What had happened? As you tried to recollect your memory and look around you realized. That wasn't a rock, it was Grian, and you were in your own bed. You bit your lip. He wasn't going to be happy with you when he woke up. He'd already told you before the season started not to overwork yourself. You looked at the blonde haired boy asleep next to you. His arms wrapped around you keeping you trapped. You figured he didn't want you to run away and finish working on your base. Figures much, but you were hungry. You sighed and poked the blonde haired man next to you. He stirred and stretched waking up.

"Why good morning." He smiled lovingly at you. "So glad you got some rest." He kissed your nose.

"Good morning to you too G, but if you're really gonna make me take care of myself. Can I get up and eat."

"Yeah, I have to go do something. I'll be back soon. Don't do anything stupid." Grian said getting up and flying away.

You sighed. He really said bye quickly. You got up and ate. You were startled by a knock at your door. You went and opened it and saw Scar.

"Hey! Y/N I was sent here to retrieve you. Come with me." You yelped as he grabbed your hand and dragged you away without a moment to think about his offer.

"Where are we going."

"It's a suprise."

You grumbled as you were dragged away. "Now my task is done. See you around fellow hermit." Scar grinned and walked away. You looked over to see a sign leading down a path.

Y/N this way~

Just follow the signs

C'mon you got this.

You were getting an eerie vibe as you read the signs which were distanced apart along the path as you continued your way.

Almost there

So close

The final sign

Here you are

You looked up to see a blanket set out with a beautiful view of the server ontop a mountain. You then looked and saw Grian.

"Grian? What is this?" You looked around completely awestruck.

"You've been so focused on your base I thought I'd give you a break to see all the other great things people have built here." Grian gave you a cheeky grin as he grabbed your arm and pulled you into his lap pointing out cool things here and there as he cuddled you atop the mountain. "I love you Y/N."

You smiled leaning into the avians touch. "I love you too G."

#grian x reader #hermitcraft x reader

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snogards · 2 months

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I think it's insane that after the final Agni Kai, Zuko was able to tank a hyper-powered lightning bolt (I mean, tank in the way he was still moving after getting hit, even if it was just groans of pain and slight twitching). He just got healed by Katara for about 5 seconds and was A-OK afterward.

When Aang got struck by lightning, he was in a coma for like what? Almost a month? And you're telling me Zuko gets struck by lightning, and 5 minutes later, is walking around like it never happened? Sorry, I can't believe that.

But Sno, you say, Aang was in his most fragile state. Of course, he was in a month long coma after he basically died. Okay, and I think that Zuko being hit by a lightning bolt 100x more powerful than the one Aang got hit by would also put Zuko in a coma; especially because Katara doesn't have the spirit water to bring him back to life. Unlike Aang, Zuko only gets regular water, not magic water, to heal him.

"But, but Zuko redirected it," you say. Uh no, Zuko wasn't grounded, so that shit still hit him like a damn truck. He redirected some of it, but not all of it. I would probably say that it burnt him from the inside out. It's a miracle that in LOK, that man is still kicking it and being a badass in his early 90s. He should have serious heart issues, if not have died in his 70s at the absolute latest. The man should not be kicking ass in the poles. He should be on bed rest.

In conclusion, Zuko should have been in a coma for like at least a year (realistically he should be dead, but this is a kids show where the main characters aren't allowed to die, so I'll let it slide) and I will stand by that.

If you wanna read how the creators could have worked with comatose Zuko, read under the cut. If not, then I hope you enjoyed my little rant. This post got longer than I thought.

Here's how the creators could have dealt with comatose Zuko and the potential storylines our other favorites could have had at the end of book 3 and a majority of the potential and nonexistent book 4:

Aang is having to deal with the consequences of Ozai being left alive, as I'm sure the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes would not like that fact. As well as their newest Fire Lord currently being in a comatose state. They barely trusted Zuko. Are you telling me they're gonna trust The Dragon of the West? (More on this at the end) And maybe Aang would actually get some character development, unlike in season 3.

I don't think Sokka, Suki, and Toph would have storylines that center Zuko all that much, but they would also definitely be mourning the semi-loss of Zuko along with whatever storyline they get. Maybe Sokka and Suki can have conflict in their relationship now that the war is over and they might physically have to go their own ways. Toph can probably wonder where she can go from here. Will she try and reconcile with her parents again? Will she travel with Aang once Zuko wakes up? Will she stay in the Fire Nation and help Zuko sniff out traitors with her seismic sense? Needless to say, the 3 of them have endless opportunities.

Katara is now dealing with the guilt of not only having put Zuko in that position in the first place, but also not being able to fully heal him (even though he would have done that for anyone, not just her). And if you're a Zutara shipper, like myself, even realizing potential feelings and the conflict that comes with that. Or if we still wanna go through with the canon ending of Kataang, have her navigate her feelings about Aang properly and not whatever that original canon ending was. And if we wanna go the "Katara doesn't need a man" route (my personal favorite despite my shipping tendencies), she could try and navigate where she goes from here, like Toph. Obviously, she'll go back to the Southern Water Tribe and help out there, but what comes after they've recovered? She's not the type to stand by and settle when there are other people who need her help. Will she go to the Earth Kingdom and help rebuild there? Go to the Fire Nation and help out there? Become an ambassador of the Southern Water Tribe to help better relations with the other nations? (My personal favorite) The possibilities are endless for her.

But you know who would be affected the most? Iroh. Not only did he (kinda) lose his nephew, who was his second son, but he now has to deal with the diplomatic repercussions of his past as a general of the Fire Nation. Like I said before, the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes barely trusted Zuko; no way in hell are they gonna trust the man that laid seige to Ba Sing Se for nearly 2 whole years, regardless if he's the reason the city was freed from Fire Nation control. The pressure Iroh would feel from advisors regarding the fact that his only heir is comatose would increasingly get worse as the months go by. We know that Zuko will wake up, but Iroh and the rest of the cast don't. Iroh is dealing with the fracturing Fire Nation and pressure from the Earth Kingdom and the Water Tribes, all while his son is in a coma. He could see what he was going to have Zuko face by himself with no support around him. What would he do with Ozai? Would be a major question throughout the season.

Of course, in the end, Zuko wakes up because we want a happy ending for them all. But the turmoil we could have gotten in the end would have been *chefs kiss*

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zerobaselove · 14 days

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an arm's length | kim taerae

pairing: taerae x reader

genre: angst, fluff

word count: 951

warnings: some minor swearing. lowercase intended, not proofread

notes: loooooove me some angst into fluff. i feel like this is still kinda rough but i got a couple angst with a fluff ending requests for taerae so i thought i'd fulfill those :D i hope u all enjoy <3

close, but not close enough to burn. that was your rule. never let anyone close enough to burn you, don't let yourself get hurt. you had lived by those words for as long as you could remember, and you were pretty good at sticking to them; until kim taerae came along. and now you find yourself basking in the warmth, not worrying about the flames.

that would be your downfall, you just knew it. but you couldn't help it, couldn't help but getting close. keeping an arm's length turned into keeping yourself in his arms, and you didn't know how to handle it. didn't know how to go back to being cold.

sure, the two of you weren't anything official. nothing more than two friends.

two friends who kissed behind closed doors. two friends who fell asleep together more often than not. two friends who danced around the word love as if it would suddenly make everything too real, too fast. as if it would ignite and burn everything you had done, just like it burnt the walls you had built up.

even just the thought of love, the prospect of it all; of loving him, and the potential of him loving you back. the feeling tore at the walls of your heart brick by brick. years of hard work crumbling before your very eyes.

you were falling, you knew that. whether you meant for him, or falling apart, nobody would ever know. was there even really a difference?

fight or flight. a human's innate response to dealing with a threat. even if that threat was on your heart. and what would save you from falling? flying.

so you couldn't have been too surprised at the pounding at the door one night, opening the door slowly to reveal a disheveled and worried taerae. the one who had shown you what it meant to love, who made you face the fear of falling.

taerae was looking how you were feeling; a mess. out of breath from presumably running up the stairs to your front door, hair disheveled and glasses askew on his face.

"i have't heard from you in days," he panted out, "and when i tried to call you it wouldn't even ring through, i thought something happened." his voice was laced with worry, and you couldn't stop your heart from beating out of your chest. he cared. he really cared.

you opened the door wider, ushering him inside to take a seat in the familiar living room. "sorry about that," you muttered, remembering why you were ignoring him in the first place, "my phone's been dead and i just forgot to charge it." only a partial lie. your phone really was dead, but not for the last week or so that you hadn't messaged him.

"that's bullshit and you know it," he shook his head, "just talk to me."

talking. easier said than done with a heart seemingly beating in your throat. it didn't leave much room for the words to push past, now did it?

sitting opposite of him on the couch, the two of you sat in silence. the tension was so thick you felt like you were choking on it, trying not to breathe it in; your chest tightened, clawing for a breath of air. and so, you stopped holding your breath. you let yourself be vulnerable, even for a moment.

"i'm scared," you breathed out, not knowing what else to say. you hadn't thought this far ahead, but the softened eyes and small, urging smile seemed to help the words form.

"i just," another deep breath, "i'm scared because, i've never felt this way about someone. i've never let myself be vulnerable, and it's terrifying." you don't know when his hand found it's way to yours, but you were thankful for it, for the way it tethered you back to the earth and away from your mind. "i love what we are, and i want it, want you, permanently. but i can't get past the voice in the back of my head saying that i'm going to ruin it, or that i'm gonna get hurt again."

you felt like you were running out of breath, taking a moment for another inhale and exhale before letting the words continue to spill.

"kim taerae, i don't know how you did it but you got past the walls that i had built up, the ones meant to keep you out, meant to keep my feelings locked away. and now you're here, and i want you here," you choked on the tears now rolling down your face, "but i'm scared."

taerae gently lifted his free hand to wipe the tears from your cheeks, looking at you with more fondness than you were even sure was possible. "i'm scared too y/n," he pressed his lips together, "every day i am terrified that maybe you don't want me beyond our bedroom doors, that beyond the threshold, i'm just another friendly face to you."

he lightly squeezed your hand as the tears threatened to spill from his own eyes. how long had his eyes been so glossy? so full of stars, and yet so full of the fear of a sky without them.

he took a moment to collect himself, now holding both of your hands in his. "but it's a lot less scary alone," he smiled gently, "you don't have to be scared alone, not anymore"

the tears had begun rolling again as you leaned in to press a chaste kiss to his lips, feeling his own tears on your cheeks, mixing with your own.

maybe falling wasn't so bad, as long as you had a partner to do it with.

#zerobaseone #zerobaseonefics #boys planet #boys planet fics #boys planet imagines #boys planet reactions #kpop #boys planet drabbles #zb1 #zb1 x reader #zb1 imagines #kim taerae imagines

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lucy90712 · 11 months

Note

request for jude plsss :) maybe jude taking reader to his training and make it fluffy

WC: 2.2k

Being in a long distance relationship is hard as you can't just spend time together whenever you want but it does mean that time spent together is extra special and always savoured. This is exactly what life is like for me and Jude. The two of us began dating when he was back in England one summer and before he left to go back to Germany we promised each other that we would really try to make long distance work and we have as two years later we are still together. Whenever we can we will see each other whether it's him coming over here when he has a few days off or me going to see him over breaks from uni. When I was applying to universities I looked at a few in Germany so that I could be closer to Jude but he told me not to move all the way out there just for him so I decided to stay in England to get my degree.

Now that my first year is officially over I have a good few months off and the first thing I did was book a plane ticket to go and see Jude. The idea is for us to spend the rest of the season in Germany and then head back home for the rest of the summer. My flight arrived late yesterday afternoon and since then Jude and I have done nothing but cuddle and enjoy each other's company. We talk at some point every day but we still spent hours catching up on things that had happened that we hadn't mentioned to each other. It was so nice to be alone together for once but sadly that can't last forever as Jude still has to go to training.

In the many times I have been to visit Jude I have never been to one of his training sessions I have been to plenty of games but never to a training session. This morning Jude asked me if I wanted to go with him and before I could give him an answer he started begging me to go as he wanted to introduce me to his teammates properly for the first time. Of course I agreed to go but I can't lie I'm a bit nervous about it. I have met a few of Jude's teammates mostly the ones he is closest to but I have never had proper conversations with any of them so the thought of meeting all these people at once is a bit daunting. It's very obvious that Jude's teammates care for him which means they are going to judge me to see if they think I'm really right for Jude which is what's making me so nervous.

Jude was so happy that I was coming to training with him that I decided to keep my nerves to myself and just get ready to go. By the time I was ready Jude had made breakfast for both of us which was only some porridge but honestly that's for the best otherwise he would've burnt the house down. After eating we had a bit of time until we needed to leave so Jude dragged me to the sofa and pulled me on top of him so that we could sit together. We watched some tiktoks together as he wanted to show me some funny tiktoks he'd see and then we ended up scrolling through his for you page which was so random as it had clips from tv shows, prank videos and then edits of him or other players. There was a few videos from one creator that he kept skipping through until I stopped him wanting to see what they were. Turns out they were all different date ideas some of which he'd saved for when we were finally together again which I thought was so cute.

The time we had disappeared in no time and before I knew it we needed to leave for training and I got all nervous again. I think Jude could tell I was nervous as he held my hand for the entire car journey and he even let me play my music which he always says he hates even though we like a few of the same songs. When we arrived there was fans waiting outside like there always is on game days hoping to see the players and get them to take pictures. I always hate this part as I don't like having people film me or take pictures of me as I like to keep myself off of social media as much as possible. As we arrived Jude drove in as quickly as he could and he told me to duck my head while he put his hand in front of my face to stop anyone getting pictures of me which I appreciated.

By the time Jude had parked the car I was really starting to feel nervous especially when I saw a few of his teammates walking in as it dawned on me that I'd have to talk to all of them at once. Meeting new people always makes me anxious but I get worse when I have to meet a big group of people as it always just feels like there is so many eyes on me. I'm almost more nervous to meet Jude's teammates than I was to meet his parents as at least then I knew what I was getting myself into but now I have no idea what's going to happen.

"You don't need to be so nervous babe I promise they will all love you" Jude said taking me out of the spiral I'd found myself in

"Are you sure I mean we're so different what if they think we aren't right for each other" I said

"They aren't going to think that remember opposites attract and I'm definitely very attracted to you" he said making me laugh

After Jude's pep talk I felt a lot better so we went in together and he walked all the way to the pitch with me so I knew where to go before he went all the way back to change. I wasn't on my own for long as Jude came running back with a few of his teammates before beckoning me over. As I walked over more of the team came out and they all stood watching me walk towards them which made my cheeks heat up as it was really awkward having so many people stare at me. When I got close enough Jude put an arm around my waist and pulled me into his side to press a kiss on my cheek which made me blush more than I already was.

"Guys this is my girlfriend y/n" Jude said

"Hi it's nice to finally meet you guys" I said

They all introduced themselves to me and gave me a hug which I wasn't expecting but it made me feel a lot more comfortable. They all asked some questions about me to get to know me better some of which I'm sure Jude will have told them but they still took an interest anyway. The more I spoke to them the more confident I was feeling so I let my guard down a little to show my real personality as I was holding back a bit to start with until I was feeling more comfortable. At some point I looked up at Jude who still had his arm around my waist and he had a big smile on his face which made me smile more too. As I turned back to continue talking to all the guys he leant down and kissed my head which made me blush like it does every time he kisses me in front of people.

It wasn't long before the guys actually had to start training so I went and sat back down to watch them. As they trained I was thinking about how I'd never be able to do any of what they do I like to think I'm fit as I go to the gym when I can but I would never be able to train as hard as they do or run for 90 plus minutes in games. I also took the opportunity to watch Jude train and see the way his muscles flexed and how the sweat formed on his forehead making him look incredibly hot. Jude also took every chance he got to look over to me and smirk if he could tell I'd been staring or blow kisses my way. At one point we had a bit of a staring contest which I lost but it was because Jude was making me blush so much that I had to look away or else I think I would've died.

Eventually all the guys were done with training so I made my way back over to Jude ready to go home and enjoy the rest of the day together. Completely out of nowhere he came running over and picked me up over his shoulder and brought me into the middle of the pitch where all the other guys were stood before putting me down. Despite putting me down he still had his arms tightly wrapped around my waist almost as if he was trying to stop me getting away from him.

"You two do know we are stood right here right" Mats teased

"You are so whipped man" Gio added

"I am not" Jude defended

"You definitely are we all saw the way you looked at y/n for the entirety of training and you can't keep your hands off her" Gio said

"Ok fine maybe I am but at least I have the prettiest girlfriend" Jude said giving in knowing he wasn't going to win this argument

The boys teased him for that even more before I managed to stop them by asking why we were stood in the middle of the pitch instead of going back in. Jude told me he wanted to put my football skills to the test which I absolutely didn't want to do but I couldn't get myself out of it as Jude wouldn't let me. The two of us have played with each other just in the garden a few times and I am yet to get more than a few meters before Jude gets the ball off of me so my skills are non existent.

To begin with a few of the other guys stayed behind and we started simple by just passing the ball to each other which I got the hang of quickly. Jude then tried getting me to control the ball from in the air which was much harder but after a few tips I managed to do it a few times. The guys really put me through my paces in testing my dribbling, passing and footwork skills which were all mediocre at best but Jude was proud of me and cheering me on which made me feel good. Before allowing me to stop Jude wanted to see if I could score a penalty so of course he made the tallest player go into the goal and gave me the ball so I could set it up how I wanted. First he gave me some advice on how to hit the ball and the best places to aim for statically which didn't really help as I don't know if I can even kick the ball hard enough in the first place.

Jude gave me one last good luck kiss before standing back to watch. For some reason I felt like I was actually in a penalty shootout and all of a sudden I wanted nothing more than to actually score despite knowing deep down the odds were stacked against me. I could hear Jude cheering my name as I took my run up and kicked the ball with my right foot thinking that was my better foot. Everything moved in slow motion as the ball headed towards the top corner of the goal and then hit the back of the net as it wasn't stopped on its way. In an instant Jude had ran over and started throwing me in the air before covering my face in kisses.

"That was amazing she's better than you bro" Karim said

"I don't know about that but thank you" I said

"No I vote we get rid of Jude and have you join the team" Gio laughed

"Hey don't disrespect your captain" Jude said

"Maybe they have a point love I mean surely I can only get better with more practice right" I teased

"Bringing you here was a mistake now you're on their side not mine" Jude joked

"What can I say they believe in my abilities" I laughed not able to take myself seriously

We all joked a bit more until all the guys headed into the locker room to change although I could still hear them teasing Jude while I was stood outside. Eventually he came back out and took hold of my hand so we could walk back to the car together. Jude used the journey home to tell me that I had no need to be nervous and he was right all of his teammates were really nice and I fell like I could become good friends with some of them which I didn't expect when I got here this morning. Turns out going to training with Jude was a lot of fun and I might just have to do it again.

#jude bellingham #jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham imagine #jude bellingham imagines

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a-small-writer-in-a-big-world · 7 months

Text

I didn't write at all over the weekend. I didn't even look at my wips and it actually felt good. It felt good not stress over whether or not I was writing fast enough or if what I was writing was good enough. I didn't have the feeling like I was wasting my time.

I feel guilty for feeling that way though. Writing is such a huge part of who I am but recently it's been a part of me that's been causing more harm than good. It's stopped being fun.

I don't think I'll ever stop writing and posting here for that matter, but I think I need to take a real, proper break.

I'm not going to write for the rest of this month. I'm not entirely sure if I'll write next month (except for school work unfortunately) but I'll cross that bridge when I get there.

I've burnt myself out trying to live up to impossible expectations set by myself and it's ruined something that I love. I know it'll be a disappointment to a lot of you, I completely get it, and I hope you can forgive me. I just can't do it anymore right now.

I'll probably still be around on tumblr, I'll end up reblogging a shit ton of stuff and maybe I'll post something occasionally but it won't be any wips or drabbles or anything like that.

Thank you to my followers, I love you guys and thank you for being so patient with me.

Thank you to my mutuals. I love you guys so much you guys really help me when I need it and I cannot express the gratitude that I have for each and every one of you.

Writing will have to continue another day

#life updates #blog updates #this isn't goodbye #i promise #i'll still be around #and i'll finish what i started #but i need a break #i'm burnt out #and miserable #and writing isn't helping #hope you guys understand

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eulchu · 1 year

Text

ok guys. let's have a real talk. let's ALL have a real talk and i don't mean just me and my anons . i hope this reaches all of our community even if you think i fucking suck.

fucking october didn't ruin us but i am so worried that this dumb tension just might. this is getting so ridiculous and out of hand -i barely understand what's going on myself. so im gonna need everyone to work together and do a collective reflection exercise.

i am gonna write out a series of points that i need u guys to think about before proceeding in this community:

- active blogs. you're burnt out. you're burnt out and you're so tired of trying to keep this community running that you're denying yourself a moment to feel your own frustrations as your own individual person. i get that . i get being under so much pressure that you can't catch yourself some slack, least you spiral out of control <- this is, however, really damn unhealthy 😭 it's ok to let yourself feel some disappointment!! some anger!! that's fine. it's up to you, however, what you do with it. this brings us to our next point.

- we NEED to acknowledge this if we wanna get better. ifl it's taboo and we're pushing the narrative so hard we're not giving ourselves enough space to breathe. it. is. okay. to. feel. disappointed. over. the. lack. of. dteam. content. i am the first person to shut down any self entilted prick who thinks they can expect something out of them. because they DON'T owe us anything. but truth is we are humans and, accordingly so, feel in consequence of our own expectations. i wanna break this part down in a few points:

it is OKAY to acknowledge that we are disappointed. denying one self's feelings never ended up ok for anyone. it is okay to acknowledge that we are not getting the content we were hoping for.

it is NOT okay to blame the dteam for it. this is where it gets tricky. the dteam are in charge of what type of content they put out. it will never be in our hands. at that point, if you don't like what they're doing. leave. i'm sorry. it's harsh. i'm not trying to be mean about it. i'd understand if you left! it's ok!

- before you leave, though, i want to ask you a question. why do dislike what they're doing so much? seriously, ask yourself that question. is the content that bad, in your eyes? if the answer is yes, i can't help you there. you've grown out of their content. there's no way around it.

- but is it actually bad, or is it just Not What You Expected? In which case, let's talk. Let's put things bluntly:

the dteam have waited years to be together. correct

upon living together, we have discovered that they are not very good at providing content because they put their friendship above content. i'm not sure if anyone had that in their bingo cards - but it's what happened. autumn was really rough on them & they've learnt to exist together off camera. me personally, i think it's sweet.

dteam and traveling: a fall out? :o . no. jesus christ 😭 the fact that this is the new narrative nauseates me. i don't think anyone in their right mind thinks that dteam are less close than they were when they were living apart.

Bringing back our initial point, the failure to meet our expectations can be mentally challenging. it will inevitably make us second guess a lot of associated ideas that we thought were true . if one of our expectations fails to be met, that's a fail in our mental plan. if we were wrong about this, who's to say we are right about anything else?

i'm not sure if there's some sort of denial of feelings here or if people are trying really hard not to think about this possibility because it makes them scared. i am inviting you to take a moment to really think about it and feel the initial dread of the question. it will pass fairly quickly.

the truth is that the dteam is FINE. they're fine, they share a house, they film videos together, and they go on these long ass hiatus when they're together because they would much rather spend uncesored time off-line.

my favorite point: for how parasocial we are, we don't give them nearly enough credit. the dteam are adult men. we have to put faith in their decisions. only they know what they're doing. they know what's best for them. we certainly don't.

- i wanna rescue this last point. their decisions are THEIRS. if we don't put trust in what they're doing, we're already failing the game. that means who they hang out with too. i get not liking someone ok? i get it. i don't like a lot of people either. no one is pointing a gun to any of their heads. if you think that any of them is doing something that you don't see fit you have problems and you need to grow up. it is not our place to dictate their lives and it will never be. that goes for the white-knighting too.

⚠️(this is a completely hypothetical scenario)⚠️

the truth is if tomorrow george decides to go back to the uk, for whatever reason. we would all have to fucking shut it. fan disappointment? yes. acting like george is an awful person for betraying his best friends? you're out of your fucking mind.

dream george and sapnap are grown up people with a strong friendship and communication skills. if you think that george would take the unilateral decision and not tell anyone until the day before you need to seek help. whatever decision the dteam take about their lives it's THEIRS and you need to put some fawking faith in what they're doing. they know what's up.

that goes for the fucking karl problem too okay? i don't like it either. whatever. it's not my place though?? dream isn't a baby who's been abandoned he's a grown ass man who knows what he's doing and if he still considers (if they ALL do) karl his friend that's his decision. if he thinks that karl's friendship management is fine that's his decision. we are not dream's friends nor his fucking therapist.

- the thing about dooming and content. the multishippers: is the dteam all there really is? i firmly believe that we all kove the dteam outside of each other. (mostly tackled in this post)

- dnf and the fandom. jesus christ i can't believe i have to make a point about this. i think it's important to remember that at the end of the day. it's just Not That Serious. it was never meant to be that serious. bringing back the "they're their own people" point, what the Fuck do some people think they're doing 🧍‍♂️

dnf know what they're doing they know the nature of their relationship better than we ever will. if they're just friends it's because they chose to if they . in the biggest plot of the century . come out of this with a s/o it doesn't mean they're cheating on each other, that dream/george was leading anyone on or that they're hurting each other???? are you CRAZY 😭 if they're dating they're dating if they're not they're fucking not but they're. not gonna be sad about it??? they're adult people in an adult relationship they know what tf they're doing. they hold each other's hearts impossibility close to themselves. there's nothing they would ever do that could hurt each other.

to wrap things up: after this reddit worthy post (congrats if you've made it to the end) i have something very important to ask of you guys.

i know it might be unfair but can we all compromise on detoxxing. completely. for like, a week. not posting neg at ALL. we can't enable doomers we can't enable bait anons. neg is only good for one thing: make anxious people paranoid as fuck.

so can we. for like a week. just not post anything /neg at all. can we block the worst of it. the unnecessary dooming. and not acknowledge at ALL. i get it's a huge mental toll on the active blogs - reading so much negativity SUCKS but i do believe that it's a better option than responding and enabling more people to send similar asks.

me personally, i am already saying it here: any dooming will get blocked in my askbox. i won't hate you for it. but this IS a warning that you need to get your shit together if you ever wanna have a chance at speaking in my askbox ever again.

um congrats if you read everything?😭 PLEAAAASE let's all make this place a better place again i know we can do it

U CAN ADD TO THIS POST IF YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY BTW !!!

#long post #rbs are appreciated 😭🫶

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fleouriarts · 1 month

Text

posting ocs on this account for the first time in forever... and making NEW ocs for the first time in forever too. please welcome my new funny animals

heights on the pic are measured from top of the skull (so not including hair or ears)

more info about everyone below the cut

JAMIE NAM: banded linsang. 19. he/him tboy. animation student. he is a nervous wreck and kind of a cringe failboy but by god he's trying his best

SANTIAGO FLORES: sheep. 20. he/him cis dude. fine arts student. absolute sweetheart with a huge family who's been dating jamie for only a few months before the inciting incident of the story (detailed below)

JOHNNY DEAN CLANTON: red appaloosa horse. 21. she/her cis butch. worked on her family's chicken/various other birds farm for a year after high school, then decided to just be a "free spirit" living out of her van and doing odd manual labor jobs for people. she's also an absolute player (with a thing for small carnivores in particular)

NULL: blue point siamese cat. 20. they/them agender. chemistry student and pawblix (furry version of publix) cashier. they are actually friends with people, but they're also great at lying and generally pretending to get along with people they hate. needs a smoke break

ARGYLE LANCASTER: lion. 21. he/him cis dude. engineering student who burnt out and decided to go into fashion design instead. chill and agreeable to a fault, he will go with whoever else's flow even if it ends up hurting him (or someone else)

the general gist of this story is that everyone here except for santiago knew each other in high school. jamie is best friends with johnny, johnny is briefly dating null, and null is friends with argyle. jamie gets introduced to null through johnny, then gets introduced to argyle through null. jamie is immediately smitten and has a crush on argyle for months

at the end of jamie's junior year/argyle's senior year, jamie finally asks argyle out. argyle says yes, but he's really not that into jamie, he just wants to see what will happen (... and also feels bad for him). over the course of the summer it becomes clear to argyle that this relationship cannot last but he keeps putting off on breaking up with jamie. finally, the day before argyle moves across the country to go to college, he admits to jamie that he was kinda dating him out of pity and breaks up with him. jamie, understandably, loses his fucking mind, blocks argyle on everything after he leaves, and proceeds to have the worst senior year of all time

flash forward a few years. jamie is now a sophomore in college in an animation program. he's got a new beautiful sheep boyfriend named santiago. null, who was only really an acquaintance before, goes to the same college as them and they become better friends. johnny isn't always in town but they still hang out on the regular. jamie is still mad at argyle, because why wouldn't he be, but there's enough good in his life that he doesn't have to focus on his one bad high school relationship

... until argyle, dropping out of his ruthless engineering program, decides to transfer back home. to jamie and co's college. now BOTH of them have to deal with feelings that have built over the past three years as seeing each other becomes almost unavoidable. jamie has to grapple with the fact that he can't be mad at argyle forever, and argyle is forced to actually deal with the fact that he hurt someone like that instead of just hoping they've gotten over it

... ok wow i did not expect to type that much. i scripted a comic of jamie seeing argyle for the first time in three years in a frenzy a few weeks ago, and i've been telling myself that i HAVE to do a longer comic (and by longer i mean like. more than 3 pages) with my ocs this year, so hopefully i'll start working on that soon. i'm also gonna make a separate Lore Post about my furryverse because there's some silly stuff i've come up with for it. anyway ENJOY

#my art #2024 #finished #my ocs #furry #dorian furryverse #jamie #santiago #johnny #null #argyle #jamie and co #i needed some normal furry ocs because im really really really tired of drawing humans rn for some reason #and my two other settings are like. lore heavy fantasy. i need some guys who are just dudes #fun fact argyle is named after the brakence song of the same name. he is not an asshole in the same way as brakence in that song #but its still 'song from the perspective of some dude whos bad at relationships'

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lostarchivesoforpheus · 10 months

Note

Hey! I read some of your work and I loved it! When I saw your event, I knew I just had to try it! Especially with one of my favorite cookies!

I'd like...prompt 10 with affogato cookie please? I know he likes sweets so I thought it would fit him really well!

Sweet Tooth

affogato cookie x gn reader

prompt: baking sweets & pastries

warnings: physical touch, mentions of food, reader is a menace (affectionately), possibly ooc(?? idk i finished this at 1 am)

"Darling, I love you with all my heart, but just where do you plan on taking me at 1 in the morning?"

A confused and groggy Affogato Cookie followed closely behind a for some reason very awake and bubbly you, not understanding why you decided to drag him out of bed in the middle of the night. Though, he figured you probably wouldn't be answering his question, as all you said in response was, "It's important!" before continuing to pull him down the hall.

A few minutes later, the two of you found yourselves in the kitchen. Affogato gave you a confused look. "Why-" "We're baking midnight snacks and you can't say no!" You quickly cut him off before you rushed to grab the necessary supplies to make some sweet treats.

"Okay, but why-" "I know you like sweets, and I'm hungry, so it's a win-win! Now help me bake these!" Once again cutting him off, you didn't give him any time to respond before dragging him to the mixing bowl and telling him what to do.

After about an hour, the two of you were finally able to take the snacks out of the oven and properly enjoy eating them. "Here, you can have the first one!" You offered, swiftly placing one of the treats in Affogato Cookie's hands. He looked at you for a moment before taking a bite.

The moment he tasted it, his expression lit up. "Oh wow," he spoke between bites, "It's almost hard to believe we made something so sweet! This is absolutely delicious, dear." You gave him a cheeky grin, "Of course it tastes good! We put our hearts into it, after all!"

He couldn't help but smile at your cheesy statement.

To him, your words tasted sweeter than any snacks he's ever had.

a/n: affogato cookie my beloved,,, ew i hate how i ended this but i ran out of ideas,,, anYWAY IM SORRY I RANDOMLY VANISHED,,, IVE BEEN TRYING TO WRITE FIC & DRAW ARTFIGHT SO I GOT BURNT OUT FAST,, ALSO MY GRANDMA WENT TO THE HOSPITAL TWICE SO YOU CAN GUESS HOW I FELT ABT THAT,,,, on the plus side tho ive been getting into a new game recently and i plan on opening requests for it/putting it on my masterlist after the event is over!! yay,,, for now tho i will be trying to get back to writing and posting event stuff as fast as i can without overexerting myself :,,)) btw sorry for any decrease in quality that might be found in this fic and the next few works, im still recovering from burnout so yeah,,, bye for now

thanks for stopping by!

wanna submit a request? see my requesting rules here!

taglist:

wanna be tagged? lemme know!

#fishbubble writes #fanfic #fanfic author #fanfiction #fanfiction author #x reader #cookie run x reader #cookie run kingdom x reader #crk x reader #affogato cookie #affogato cookie x reader #affogato x reader #crk affogato #affogato crk #affogato cookie run #cookie run affogato #₊˚⊹꒷ events in the aquarium: starlit sanctuary

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yxstxrdrxxm · 2 months

Text

And that... Is the end of Flawed.

Or the one I hosted for my silly event here anyway.

[ TL;DR under read more: The lack of interest and stress I got from irl matters led me to drop the event and ending it early, but! I have a blog made for the sake of continuing/restarting the event.

Please vote on the poll if you want it to be catered to the reader or stick to Yesterday, and be unbiased, too. Vote what you want, and I'll try and make it happen.]

CONTEXT UTC:

So, I know you guys have a lot of questions, and I can't blame you. I know the biggest one in your mind right now, which is:

Why did I end Flawed early?

The reason why I ended Flawed was actually multiple. Please keep in mind that these are for my observations, and overall I'm not blaming anyone for this. I just noticed it and thought I should bring it up lol.

1. Writing for days burnt me out.

Although Flawed is a passion story/project of mine, writing so much burnt me out. And by a lot. There were days I struggled to think of writing because I have other commitments to do, and sometimes its why polls came out super late or super early. I tried to compensate for it by posting 1 poll a day, but when it didn't work, I pushed myself to make more for 1 day.

I wanted so badly for the whole event to flow like a CYOA because by next month (April), I won't be free to host this as I used to with OLC. However, in that process, I burnt myself out to the point I needed to take longer breaks/forget this event.

It sucks. I would not recommend doing this if you think you want to (because it is NOT worth it).

2. Interactions were... Lacking.

This event is interaction heavy, and the reason why is because you guys control the story that Yesterday and others are in. Naturally, this also affects the characters and how I shape Flawed from start to finish. I have a plot line for it, of course, but the interactions were... Not there.

I noticed the usual ones from my mutuals, sure, but there were moments that I felt like I was simply posting to no one. It was unfortunate during the time with Diluc, where I had hoped that some of you would go, but due to complications (ahem, the votes weren't able to decide on going when the deadline was up), I had to write how it's supposed to go with some... Changes.

It also made me feel sad to see that there weren't much (if at all) interactions to Yesterday. Tinuvion received a fair bit, which is nice because he's a little shit (please bully him lol), but Yesterday after the first week and a half just... Didn't get any. At least, in my records.

I'm not saying this to guilt you guys to interact more, but I am saying this because it feels sad for me to see that unlike OLC, this... Flopped. I had a lot of responses + moments planned if it took off that much, but... Oh well. There's always that one story that won't hit for everyone.

And finally:

3. Maybe you guys wanted it to be catered to you, not to an OC.

I had a feeling that, from the start, Flawed may not take off.

Unlike One Last Call (which was a matchup event + story), Flawed was a CYOA but you guys aren't the main focus/MC, Yesterday (my oc) is. I was hoping that with this method, you guys get to play the omnipotent voice and see how far the story can go until it's conclusion.

However, as I hosted the event for the next few days to weeks, I realized that it was simply too difficult. Maybe I wasn't prepared to host this type of format, as ambitious as it is, but I realized that maybe, you guys don't deserve this format and I should've made it catered to a reader insert instead.

It was hard for me to swallow the pill that this event may not be fun for the majority. I knew that having an OC be the MC + canon characters interact with them may be flaky at best (esp the whole OC x Canon being... well. very much a huge "oh dear"), but seeing minimal interaction/interest than my friends were (and people I admire, too. Hi Harmony! o/!!) and realizing that maybe I shouldn't have done this just... Made me regret it.

For that, I'd like to say:

I'm so, so sorry that this event failed. I'm very sorry if you guys expected it to be like OLC: about the reader/reader insert format.

I know it's not right for me to apologize, but I feel that I have to. I let all of you down, and I don't want you guys to be disappointed in something that you all don't like to see in this blog.

So I decided that I'll run this event in its own blog, but here's the thing.

I don't know if I should keep Yesterday in the blog.

I have to open up a poll for this, so here's the options you guys have for it's fate:

If you guys want it to be a reader insert game (aka you are the main star, not Yesterday), I will set up a menu to BUILD your personal darling.

This means that you guys get to decide how darling will look, the gender, their preferences, and even their job. However, this will be for your darling, and if darling dies, you can't use them anymore.

PROS: This is catered to the reader, and thus, you guys are the ones to choose your own destiny. I won't be the one to decide this time, and if the majority agrees on a specific option, your darling will do just that. This is also more open for variety + reader/canon interaction because I know some of you would have a lot of fun being able to see yourselves in the story.

CONS: When your darling dies, you get the chance to restart. However, the game will continue on with a new darling you guys will have to make and the stats reset to zero. The characters will also mention your past darling, and you'll have to restart from scratch. I still need to tweak this, but just know that it is VERY tricky for you if your first darling dies.

If you guys want it to stay the same (Yesterday is the MC), the format will remain the same.

This means what you witnessed here in the blog WILL happen on the other blog.

PROS: You guys get to either continue or restart with Yesterday's story, and with newfound knowledge, you get to choose more options that were previously unavailable. This also opens up to you all being able to essentially shape Yesterday's outlook + what'll happen to them, because you are the one guiding them to their happy ending.

CONS: This one does not offer a restart like the reader insert (one try only), and this could result to another "this'll flop because many people aren't interested". We've seen it happen here, so please decide wisely.

If you guys want BOTH, the format will be different as you have the option to build a darling (reader insert) or stick to Yesterday's story.

This means there will be a new system for both options to be available, alongside new menus!

PROS: You guys get to have a chance of an 'easy route' or 'hard route' and all of you can use your experience/s to get your desired ending for either one <3 go crazy lol

CONS: If you choose one of the two options for both, the latter will be locked. That's the only consequence I have for this one tbh.

So yes, I'd like to say thank you, and sorry for the fail of Flawed on this blog. I wish I could give you all the quality like in OLC, but there were... Too many things to consider. Sobs.

If you guys still want to continue, please lmk. I worked hard on Flawed and I still want to continue, but this time, its a permanent event and will be on my own pace.

Thank you for your support. Again. And I'll see you guys next time (be it a random fic or the next event <3)

#💌 ;; messenger writes #💌 ;; promising letter: flawed

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toomuchracket · 9 months

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"if anyone has any flatmate smut ideas" as if my brain isn't a constant rotation of flatmate smut 😂

How about makeup sex after their first fight. Maybe not even a huge fight just a misunderstanding but they both end up sleeping in their own rooms afterwards instead of sharing, but matty sneaks in at 5am and is like "I couldn't sleep without you"

GOD ok right so it's like a stupid argument over something trivial, you're both just a bit burnt out from working hard and more irritable than normal so something that shouldn't have been a big deal turned into a massive one. you're also both ridiculously stubborn, so neither of you are particularly willing to be the one to apologise, and you're so grumpy that you're like "i'm too fucking tired for this shit i'm going to bed"; you stomp off to your old room and slam the door behind you, getting into your unused bed and pulling the covers up to your chin. and as tired as you are, you can't fall asleep - through the wall, matty's the same, and it's because you're not cuddled into each other. for a good few hours, you both toss and turn, the anger ebbing from your respective bloodstreams and the loneliness flowing in; you're genuinely about to get out of bed and go into you and matty's room when you hear him through the wall saying "fuck it" and then his footsteps padding into the hallway.

he tentatively opens the door and kinda lingers in the doorway looking at you lying in bed, quite like he did right before you guys slept together for the first time - to be cute, and to reassure matty you're not angry anymore, you smile and say "get over here, healy, i want to spoon you". matty exhales and smiles back, then literally launches himself onto the bed, which makes you giggle, and climbs in behind you; he kisses your bare shoulder as he wraps an arm around your waist like "can't fall asleep without you next to me, sweetheart. m'sorry for being a dick earlier", and you're like "m'sorry too. couldn't sleep by myself either". thinking you'd turn to face him for a kiss, which would turn into a makeout, which would turn into matty lying above you with his hips grinding into yours - he's murmuring against your lips like "need to be even closer to you, darlin'. can i?", and you say "mhmm" and lift your hips so you can slide your underwear off. matty does the same, and just slowly slides his cock into you, moaning into your mouth as he bottoms out. immediately, you both feel better, and you stay like that for a minute - you being you, though, start to get turned on, and whisper in matty's ear like "need you, baby", and he's like "of course, sweetheart, let me make you feel good". he fucks you slowly, at first, hands intertwined with your own against the pillow for leverage, and it's lovely, but you want more; you shift your legs so they wrap around matty's waist and whine "want you to fuck me harder, please". matty groans into your ear like "fuck, yes, whatever you want", sits back on his knees, and obliges, speeding up his pace and slamming his hips into yours quite desperately - initially, he holds your hips for leverage, eyes fixated on the way your tits bounce with every thrust, but quickly places his hands on either side of your head so he can kiss you again. when he feels you clench like a vice around him, one of matty's hands moves to your clit, thumb rubbing over the nerves in a fervent attempt to make you cum; he begs you to do so right into your open mouth, capturing it in a kiss when you actually do. as soon as you cum, though, you push matty off you and onto his back, shimmying down the bed to take his cock in your mouth; he's whimpering like "oh, babe, m'gonna cum, you're gonna fucking make me cum". you look at your boyfriend, want evident in your eyes even in the moonlit room, and say "please" around his cock - that's enough to finish matty off, making him spill into your mouth. you keep him there until he's done, carefully sliding him out of your mouth with a pop before swallowing and smiling at him. matty pulls you up and into him for a hug like "you're fucking insane, my girl, but in the best possible way. thank you. i love you", and you're like "needed that. i love you too, so much"; after a quick loo break and more kissing, matty carries you back to your shared bed, where you fall asleep in each other's arms <3

#mads answers asks #matty asks #smutty asks #flatmate!matty

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nephriteknight · 5 months

Text

Highlights From My Bells Hells Playlist

So I have a Bells Hells playlist that has some really perfect songs if I do say so myself, and I want to talk about my choices! So here's some of my favorites. (Here is the full playlist btw, with songs ranging from word-for-word-perfect to Just The Right Vibes Idk Man)

Rule #2 - Moonlight by Fish in A Birdcage For Orym :) About a person on the moon singing to their lover on Earth. "All I want is to come home to you." Is this song about Will or about Dorian? I think it's even better because it works for both. There are lines that are for Will and lines that are for Dorian and it's all mixed up and full of longing and in light of recent confessions? Just perfectly heartbreaking. "Finally broke down / Houston, please come in / There's someone that I need to talk to / Honey, how've you been? / I miss you, my dear / There's something that I have to say" "It's good to hear your voice / I'll tell you what the world looks like from up here / there's hurricanes / and blizzards too / please stay safe and warm 'til I get to you"

Control by Halsey For Laudna. This one is very straightforward. "And all the kids cried out please stop you're scaring me / I can't help this awful energy / Goddamn right you should be scared of me / Who is in control?" The rest works pretty well too, there's more lines that feel Very Delilah, it just works.

Allies or Enemies by The Crane Wives For the whole party! I happened to get into this song right when the whole "powder keg" conversation happened, and it's only gotten more relevant. "Are we allies or enemies? This will be the death of me." It's great it's perfect it's them. "What happens now? / Do we have another go / Do we bow out / And take our seperate roads / I'll admit I've had my doubts / But I want to be let in not out" "Remember when I could tell you not to smile when you were mad / And you would always crack / And we'd both be laughing in the end? / Now you're not so quick to forget"

Moving in Place by Shauna Dean Cokeland This song is so Ashton. It's about using drugs as a teenager and feeling stagnated, blaming things on other people, drowning in daydreams where you're awesome, spending time with a group of friends you really care about.... It works quite well. (I also really recommend this song if you have ADHD/use music to stim, it's got really great overlapping vocals and kinda scratchy sound--this is the song I put on when my brain is eating itself and no other music can get through to it. It's great.) "Take me to the far side of the beach / Before it falls into the ocean / Before you notice I'm eroding / I know you don't wanna be lonely / I know 'cause I would feel the same thing" I'm having trouble picking out specific quotes because they're all really wordy and long, but trust me it works and it's a great song.

Soap by The Oh Hellos Ashton! I especially like this for Ashton and Orym (platonic or romantic both are good) but it also works for Ashton and the Hells—and once again, this song hits even harder after the shard incident. As far as picking specific lines I just want to quote like the whole song, but I'll exercise some restraint. "I've heard since I was younger / That oil and water don't mix / They're polar opposites / With a molecular rift you can't fix / But I swear with all your burnt bridges / You can leech what's caustic and find / A rudimentary lye / Some kind of miraculous bind" "Oh, no / I think I'm not quite ready / To let you circle the drain / All the things we've broken / Can be puzzled together again / All your sums and your pieces / Are enough to clean up all / The messes you've made" "I think that you're worth keeping around. I think that you're worth holding onto." "I've heard if I were tougher / Then maybe I'd make it alive / I've got a tender side / I'll need a harder shell to survive / But if seeing is believing / I don't know I've seen a thing grow / Without an open coat / Not without a softness showing / I know maybe you're not quite ready / To loosen your hold / On the safety blanket you've been keeping around your shoulders / But your sums and your pieces / Are enough to make you whole / You gotta let go" "It's gonna hurt like hell / but we're gonna be well / I'll give you my best shot" Oops I basically just quoted the whole song. But look how perfect it is!!

The Leaving of Liverpool (folk song; I like this version by The High Kings) This one's for Dorian! Specifically, for Dorian leaving :( It's an old folk song about going away from home and leaving your love behind. It's not as character specific or detail heavy, but it just feels so right for Dorian having to leaving Orym and Fearne in Jrusar. "So fare thee well my own true love, and when I return united we will be. It's not the leaving of Liverpool that grieves me, but my darling, when I think of thee." My mom and I go to a Celtic Christmas concert every year, and one of the last songs is always this one. Everybody knows it, and they invite us all to join in the chorus. It's a beautiful moment, and I'm so grateful to Brian O'Donovan, the host, who passed away this year. He brought so much joy and gave so many people a piece of their home to enjoy here. He will be missed.

Canary in a Coal Mine by The Crane Wives If the title didn't clue you in, this one's for FCG! It's not just because of the mine, though, it all works really well. This song is about the 'canary', who puts so much into a relationship, doing everything to keep their partner happy and support them, but fears that when they need help themself their partner will abandon them. "Feed me promises, keep my heart well / I'll sing you songs until the darkness does recede / But if in the end I lose my voice / Will you forget about your love for me?" "Let the dirt hang heavy in your chest / Drag me deeper down the long, dark ground / Know that all my love will your breath / I will save you when your lights go out"

Bonus: A Convocation of Fauns (A Faunvocation If You Will) by the Oh Hellos Fearne. The title says it all. (It's just instrumental lol)

#neph's fandom songs #critical role #orym of the air ashari #laudna #bells hells #ashton greymoore #ashrym #dorian storm #dorym #fresh cut grass

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