nephriteknight
Neph
they/he/sheOnly phonetically alliterative. Ao3
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in guarani there's a standard greeting that literally translates to "are you happy" (ndevy'apa) and the natural reply is "i'm happy" (avy'a) and as americans learning the language we were so distressed like "but what if we're not happy....." and our teachers were like "that's so not the fucking point"
we kept trying to think of any other way to reply but our teachers kept trying to get it into our brains that it's an idiomatic greeting, it literally is not the time or place to traumadump, and as usamerican english speakers we are not some special exception for saying "what's up" with the reply being "not much" instead of "the ceiling"
but anyway while i was working in paraguay -- the country with the largest population of guarani speakers -- i got sent an article by some friends back home like "look! they're saying that paraguay is the happiest country in the world!"
and the methodology was "we went around and asked paraguayans if they're happy and recorded their responses" and i was like. oh. of course you did. and of course you got a 100% positive response rate.
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Not to beat a dead horse, but the naming conventions in the Magnus Archives are truly delightful. Jonny really said, “Here’s a cast of fascinating characters! Their names are:
My actual full legal name
The first names of my friends + the last names of famous horror writers
Michael (x4)
They all die horrible deaths :)”
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before the poll, a quick definition of terms:
"mutual" - you found this post from a mutual (on their blog or your dash)
"following" - you found this post from someone you're following, but who isn't following you
"random" - you found this by scrolling through someone's blog, who you don't follow. this includes people following you
"For You" - you found this on the For You page
"recommended" - you found this in a "Check out these blogs" popup, or a "recommended" post when looking at a different post
"other" - you found this post some other way. comment how?
"reblog ✅" - you're going to reblog, queue, or schedule this post
"reblog ❌" - you're NOT going to reblog, queue, or schedule this post
with that out of the way:
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I keep getting distracted from reading or writing tma fics with major canon divergence because I go “wait what’s Annabelle up to right now did she do this on purpose or is she switching to Plan C1-36b right now”
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you’re stuck living with your icon for a month have fun
#...oh boy#hm im gonna try to get this man hooked on a podcast and like give him snacks and stuff#and maybe do some amateur cult deprogramming while im at it worth a shot#(or more realistically we will just be so awkward around each other lol)
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two bros, both alike in sexuality
in a hot tub, where we lay our scene
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"breakfast" a tma s5 animation thing
dawg can't even fry me an egg in this eyeconomy
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this will probably be disproven across episodes but I have the Gwen brainrot so indulge me.
I know a lot of people hope that Elias is out walking around happy and high, but see the Magnus institute burned down in 1999. Jonah took Elias in 1996.
So don't imagine Gwendolyn coming 'home' after a few years studying on daddy's money, daddy's name and daddy's contempt that his youngest daughter seems perfectly fine with ignoring what is expected from a Bouchard.
Don't imagine Gwen running into her brother one night after he himself hasn't been in their family house for weeks. And realising the thing in front of her isn't Elias.
The stone cold sober, easy smiling man with impeccable posture is not the man who taught her how to play their parents to secure a peaceful life and a place in the will at the same time.
The eyes looking back at her never winked at her from across the dinner table, never shed tears of rage at the golden chains around both of them, never looked at her at her lowest and told her everything would be okay one day. Because those eyes do not belong to Elias.
'A promotion' it tells her, with the same pride Elias used to talk about a student strike that would absolutely wreck their name if it were printed on papers, but this thing wouldn't do that because this thing is. Not. Her. Brother. But she's almost as good at acting as it is, so she plays along. 'Head of the Magnus Institute'.
And Gwen knows very little of the Magnus institute. But she knows enough about Elias Bouchard. She knows about Allan and the eyeless thing that got to him, tale whispered in a panic on the night she first saw her brother as a child instead of a role model. She knows about the letter that arrived unprompted. She knows the stories of what goes on inside the too old building.
And she knows how easy it is to get her hands on gasoline for the bits of it that aren't already flammable.
When she's called in as his emergency contact, she feigns shock at the fire, throws the bone that 'the idiot couldn't even keep his fucking lighter straight' between tears.
She throws the ashes off a foggy cliff onto the sea and attends the empty casket funeral with the same expression she learns to carry from that day on. And after years of clipped conversation, she does what she promised Elias to never do.
'Get me in.' She tells her father. And his smile of relief at 'still having a worthy heir' on the day of his son's funeral sickens her. But she keeps the same expression.
Because she may have killed the thing that took Elias. But the OIAR is the place that can tell her what she killed exactly.
And she won't make her brother's mistakes.
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special skills of tma fans include
recite leitner rant
know the outro by heart including the name of the license
making a seemingly innocuous post and then hello jon apologies for the deception but i rather wanted to make sure you started r
dig
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I hope Elias shows up as Gwen's completely zonked out fail uncle. I hope he smokes weed on audio & says shit like "far out, dude". I hope he does a fake out "Gwendolyn, your constant lack of results is a disgrace to the Bouchard name!" in the Jonah!Elias voice & then breaks down laughing "man could you fucking imagine" before taking another hit. I hope he drives her up the fucking wall.
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What’s your favourite line from good omens?
The invisible and unbreakable one that joins Crowley and Aziraphale.
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