#it's just very interesting to me that these are (I THINK) the only two times we see lisbon praying like this while holding her necklace
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𝒜𝑀 𝐼 𝐵𝒜𝐵𝒴?
✧｡˚ a shy nympho camgirl seeks a partner to help her film content on a dating app. soon, meeting up with a handsome man who's willing to do anything for the pretty girl he chats with.
𝒲𝒜𝑅𝒩𝐼𝒩𝒢𝒮 𓇼 14k. pwp, lowercase intended, age gap ꒰ toji is 36, reader is 24 ꒱ submissive reader, pleasure!dom toji, bondage ꒰ belt ꒱, check ins, heavy praise, overstimulation, aftercare, unprotected, videography, oral ꒰ f + m ꒱ , squirting + kreaming, spanking, choking, hair pulling, mild degradation, intimacy on high, toji is intimidating, manhandling, masturbation, daddy kink srry not srry, pet names ꒰ baby, girl, pretty, sweetheart, angel ꒱ minors aren't welcomed! reblogs & comments are appreciated!
౨ৎ — ꒰ 𝑚𝑜𝑐ℎ𝑎’𝑠 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑦 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ𝑡𝑠 ꒱: this took me so long to finish y'all but im super proud of it. one of my favorite works so far so i hope y’all enjoy. ♡
you hold your notebook in your hands, a bright pink color with numerous doodles sketched onto its cover, your pen on the back of your ear as you slowly cross off a list of things you needed to buy while browsing on your laptop. your room is quiet aside from the soft sound of music playing from your stereo, beyoncé’s cowboy carter album playing from start to finish while you slumped into your soft pink duvet hiding beneath a white canopy slip. the air is crisp how you like, a fresh, chunky strawberry is chewed between teeth, and your skin is freshly scrubbed and moisturized, only covered in a matcha green two piece short and tank set. a laptop sits on your thighs as you cross your legs, twirling your left calf as you bury your back into your mountain of plushies.
this was frustrating. you never realized how hard this would be to find someone to fuck, let alone film content with. you’d made a profile on hinge a week prior to now, and most of the matches weren’t close to peaking your interest. most of the men seemed like creeps, some too old . . . giving very much grim reaper. and others, too young, freshly adults at that. you think you’ve made yourself appealing enough. cute profile with full faced pictures, personality traits, daily interests even . . . but it somehow didn’t attract those you truly wanted.
as your sticker covered macbook’s motherboard screamed for air, warm on your thighs and now sliding on your tummy the further you leaned back. . . you were growing tired. huffing and puffing from literal exhaustion. am i wasting my time? should i just go out and find people like in the movies? but this generation made it so hard to even physically connect anymore. what happened to people running into each other at a coffee shop, a book store, a park? sharing interests and going on dates. granted, what you were looking for was strictly work related. you wouldn’t dare stare a stranger in the eye you bumped into at the farmers market and ask, “hey, wanna fuck me for content?” it’d be tasteless. you have self respect. others may think differently considering your side quests to fund the unfathomable reality of adulthood on top of just being a girl.
“this fucking sucks,” you groan to yourself, thumb aching from how quickly you hit the big ‘x’ on the bottom left corner of your phone screen.
maybe it was time to call it a night. you had an early shift at the salon, about five clients to be exact, booking either re-twists, goddess braids, or a wig install. so you had to save your hand strength. sighing, you shut off your laptop and set it aside on your nightstand, disconnecting the music from your phone before getting up to cut off the light. your fluffy cat that laid on the edge of your bed shooting her head up in alarm, ready to follow at any adventure you pursued.
“relax, mommy’s not going anywhere,” you smile assuredly, knee dipping into the bed as you lean over to smooch her on her tiny head, pointy ears tickling your cheek as you watch her tail sway. “good night, sweet — oh, fuck! i forgot to feed you. i’m so sorry baby.”
the alert in your tone has the black cat stand in attention, cursing to yourself as you slip on your heart printed slippers and make your way towards the kitchen, your studio apartment being on one level making this task easier. you listen to her tiny paws thud on the floor after she jumps off the bed in a hurry, dashing in front of you, damn near tripping you.
“oh my god, you’re so extra,” you shake your head, but couldn’t help but laugh. she meows at you violently, as if you hadn’t fed her in two weeks. rolling your eyes, you reach for her bowl off the floor to clean before opening a fresh can of fancy feast, using one of her plastic spoons to arrange her dinner.
whilst she awaits, you can’t help but glare at the screen of your phone as it suddenly dings, forgetting to turn off your ringer. hovering over it to activate your face i.d, it immediately opens the hinge app, reloading the page to see a new match. the air you inhaled suddenly catches in your throat as you stare wide eyed at your screen, the man in your view is just what you’ve been waiting for.
“oh, holy fuck,” comprehension wasn’t on your radar seeming as you lost the ability of the cat food in your hand, dropping it to the floor and flinching from the mess your fur baby began chowing on. sucking your teeth, you mutter, “goddamit. no, no. stop it.”
flailing your hand gently to get her to stop, you snatch the can and dump the remainder in the deep oval ceramic bowl. you try to ignore the rapid pounding of your heartbeat, unsure why it went so astray. maybe it’s because you’ve never seen a man so fucking fine. deadly fine, foul almost. as if it was such a disrespect to all beings. she’d cleaned up her own mess, so you take the time to grab your phone and lean against the sink to observe this man further. he had matched with you, of course, otherwise you wouldn’t have been so depressed a few minutes ago . . . unless you were waiting for him to like you back.
toji. it’s his name. simple, nice. he only has about three pictures, one of them a huge black cane corso with a gorgeous silky coat. it made sense given the vibe he was giving. dark, intimidating, sexy. jet black hair, slender smoke gray eyes, sharp jaw and a fascinating scar on the side of his mouth. another thing you noticed was how big he was. most of the clothing he wears sticks to his skin like glue. molding the outline of his muscles, the thickness in his arms, the heaviness in his thighs, the brick trail of his abdomen.
a certain feeling burns in your chest, and between your legs as you scroll to see the last image. he’s sitting on a beach chair, thighs spread in black cargo pants, matching tee, a yuengling beer in his hand and a cross dangling around his neck as he takes a sip of his beverage with a hungry look into the camera. it’s cocky, possessive, dominant. the dark brows above his eyes lowered with attentiveness. his shirt is half risen above his abdomen, and you can easily see the dark trail of hair leading into his crotch. it’s full there, clear as day. so it’s easy to tell he carries something serious.
fuck. “fuck,” you feel yourself growing hot, blowing out a breath of air before making your way back to your comfy bed to stare at him more. what a fucking man. honestly, you’d never seen someone so of your standard. exactly your type. before messaging him, you check his profile a bit deeper to make sure you’re not mistaken of anything. find some flaws, though profiles only express so much.
thirty-six, that makes you moan. that’s a twelve year age difference. though that only makes him hotter. not too old, nor young. he’s a . . . gynecologist.
“so he’s good with pussy,” you giggle to yourself. he makes a decent amount of money. he’s into fitness, clearly. cars, politics, sports. seemed like a pretty laid back man to you.
without even realizing, he had already messaged you, your heart dropping to your toes at his first response.
toji
i’ve seen you before.
you blink, fingers typing quickly.
you
mhm, where?
he takes a moment to reply, so you fiddle with your necklace out of anxiousness, laying on your stomach and swaying your feet.
toji
sounds a little embarrassing, but an adult website.
you
sounds about right. does that bother you?
toji
i wouldn’t have matched with you if it had.
you
so you’re saying if i wasn’t a porn streamer you wouldn’t even look my way?
those three dots prolong longer than you wanted, only making you aware he didn’t know what to say.
toji
i matched with you because i find you attractive. whether you want me in that way or not is up to you. i want you.
he’s straightforward. you can’t help but bite the tip of your acrylic, smiling like a stupid teenager, kicking your feet in the air. the attraction being mutual boosting your ego.
“i want you, daddy,” you joke to yourself.
you
i’m assuming you’ve read my bio. i’m looking for someone to film content with! if you’re down for it, we can meet in person and talk about it! i’m not really looking for a relationship. . . right now at least. ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)
toji
of course, sweetheart. i’m free saturday’s and sunday’s. you don’t seem that far from me. let’s grab italian. my treat.
there’s something blunt and grown about him, you can practically feel his intimidation radiating through your fingertips. he seems just like the kind of man you knew would fuck you stupid. scream his name until the walls bled. until you’re trembling, and the sheets are off the bed, and his sweat is on your back so arched to the point where it’s painfully delicious. biting your lip, you had nothing else to lose. you needed his help, he’s offering lunch, you only live once.
you
you had me at italian. saturday at 2?
toji
saturday at 2. see you then, darling.
𓇼
the nostalgic scent of blue magic hair grease fills the air of the salon, your fingers working tirelessly to intricate detail into the woman’s scalp you worked on. your last client of the day in fact. you couldn’t wait to clock out and grab a bowl from chipotle, thinking about it your entire shift. fingers entwining artfully as braiding hair flicks from angle to angle, you finish up the final knotless braid with a hard working sigh. you tried to remain optimistic after she’d taken her seat, unfortunately arriving an hour late to her appointment. said she had ‘issues’ with her boyfriend, smelling like weed and partially slurring her words when she came in. but you could care less when you were on a time crunch.
you hated when people wouldn’t respect the clearly listed rules on your account. so, for that, she’d be paying a late fee. after you applied moose and rosemary oil to her scalp, she’d pay you through apple pay and be on her way. you thank her, and when she’s out the door, you instantly turn to your friend and roll your eyes.
“you’re too damn nice for doing her hair. i would’ve told her ass to kick rocks after showing up that damn late,” amethyst speaks, crosslegged and shaking her head as she digs her fork into her chinease platter, filled to the brim with shrimp fried rice and popcorn chicken. the smell alone makes your tummy growl. “did she even tip you?”
“not at all,” you brush off, not even wanting to think about it anymore. “still got my money at the end of the day.“
“hey, you’ve been off the whole day, everything alright?” amethyst proceeds to question, and your shoulders slump as you halt from sweeping up hair off the floor.
aside from tireless appointments, you couldn’t get toji out of your mind, super impatient, even anxious for saturday to come. it’s two days away until you finally meet him. you’ve texted here and there, shared a few updates on life or spoke of relating passions and wanting desires. you had told him your occupation outside of being a camgirl, and how dissatisfied with it you’ve become. this field wasn’t for you anymore. the passion for it is dying, the clients grow irritable, and you just wanted to breathe. you feel like you’ve been working your whole life. in conclusion, since fifteen. started from an early age dealing with responsibilities due to financial constraints within your family. your mother raised you on her own, along with four other children. and being cursed with the older daughter syndrome, you developed faster than you wanted to. barely having time to live your life until you moved out. even then, it’s been all about work. you needed an island getaway.
“this week just burnt me out. i’m just glad it’s almost over,” you reply, not having the energy for a full conversation. she was a sweet girl, albeit very nosey. you try to keep events in your life private, gossip to a minimum.
“awe, bookie,” she pouts. “what’s your plan for tomorrow? me and the girls were gonna check out that new club ‘sin.’”
shaking your head, you disagree. “now you know i’m not big on clubs. have an art piece to work on anyways before the weekend comes. so i’ll be busy.”
amethyst nods. “well, alright then. i guess i’ll just see you whenever you get booked again.”
you don’t know why that felt like a backhanded response. you’re only here three times out of the week, and most of those days you see about five to six clients. everyone else had a bigger following on social media, meaning more attention, more money. you believe because you aren’t so passionate for this major, your ability to promote and put effort only shows in your adult entertainment career. since it’s where most of your income comes from as of four months ago.
“guess i’ll see you.”
after packing your ballerina pink telfar bag with all of your tools, you wave goodbye to everyone before making your way to your white honda civic, interior a vast splash of pink matching the two-piece skims set you wore. shorts since the weather is about seventy-five degrees today. buckling yourself in, your only agenda is to head to chipotle and then home. ordering your delectable signature bowl of barbacoa, fajita veggies, guacamole, pico de gallo, corn, sour cream, cheese, lettuce, and refusing to eat the bowl without their vinaigrette and a side of chips.
it’s around 9pm when you’re finally cleaned off from a hot shower, curly hair pushed back from your face with a hello kitty headband as you finish your skincare, sitting at your vanity while scandal plays in the background. you’d already eaten your food about an hour ago, even taking a thirty minute nap to regenerate for this art piece you needed to finish. in total, you had about three jobs; hair stylist, camgirl, ceramicist. you had an etsy profile where people bought cute little things of yours you liked to sculpt. tea pots, coquette flower pots, plates, heart cake jewelry boxes . . you name it. you had a few orders for mini miffy trinkets you had to ship out by saturday.
saturday. the warmth in your gut swarms at the thought of seeing that man. quite frankly, you’ve been unable to relieve your mind of him. he’s like a poison, hard to get rid of, but desperate to stay bonded with you. and you wanted nothing more than to be buried in his embrace; small and fucked out. since he’s been busy with work, and so have you, there hasn’t been much time to even call and chat. then again, you wanted to wait to see him in person. to feel that magnetism stronger than it already was. two days away and you’re anxious to even hear a hello.
while patting your toner into your face, you gaze through your mirror to see a scene playing from your show where fitz and olivia fight before they fuck for the hundredth time. the way he grabs her, speaks to her, caresses her and worships her. it has you thinking of toji instantly. the burn for him aching more than normal. practically feeling his eyes on you the way he stared into the camera in that one photo, long fingers clasped around the glass bottle, craving for that lock around your throat. wondering how tight he’d make it. would you be able to breathe? would he kiss air into your mouth to help you? tell you it’s okay, to feel it all, to take it all, to cum on his dick till you're milking him dry?
your thighs squeeze together from your imagination, staring at your reflection . . . and it’s all in your eyes. deep arousal, and the harsh clench you currently held your moisturizer in, close to grinding in your seat to ease the buzz of your clit. there’s only one solution for this, and you might as well make money off it. standing to your feet, you think not a second more before retrieving your laptop from your closet, setting it on your vanity desk and logging into the domain of prettyfuckbunnies.com. it seemed to be the main site for growth, given your eight thousand dedicated subscribers. you check yourself in the mirror once more before going live, rolling your chair back a few inches so they could see your entire frame. dressed in nothing but a small red slip dress.
angelbwrry is live!
your subscribers were notified well before others, hundreds of them swarming the chat within seconds. you were a new favorite, a prized star of the platform. admiration from both women and men. people who tipped you just for being pretty. others here for the obvious. applying gloss to your lips, you stare intensely into the camera, the character you play going into affect.
“hi,” you mutter quietly, slowly titling your head to the side as you bite your lip and sink lower into your seat, back arching. “i’m so fucking horny, and i just need someone to watch me fuck myself.”
the black kuromi chair you sat in begins to sway as you gently swing yourself side to side, eyes trained on the chat to witness them praise you, some comments degrading off the rip that you chose to ignore, others demanding you get on with it. for the most part, you tend to be discreet with sharing much about yourself. technically, you weren’t hiding much, your face easily accessible and probably even less hard to track. you’d always pray that there wasn’t a psycho willing to go that far just to find you. role playing was your forte. writing ideas for new personas to please them. and you had fun doing it. you’d never do something you weren’t in to for the satisfaction of others. never took private calls, or meets ups for obvious reasons.
but, you had to talk about him.
“i met this guy i can’t get outta my head,” the softness in your tone making dicks go erect and clits beat, the chat asking questions and growing fond of your way of interaction. “well, maybe not met. we’ve texted, and i meet him in a few days. possibly someone you’ll see on the channel. and . . .”
the tenseness in toji’s neck bothers him as he groans and leans back into his office’s chair, fork in one hand as he chews on his salad from sweetgreen a coworker grabbed for him, reading through emails his secretary confirmed appointments of, needing to add it into his schedule to be aware of what he can fit between. needing to run a few errands this weekend. the white doctors coat clings to his body, one foot raised to rest on the front of his desk, manspreading and jaw shifting as he finishes his food tiredly, knowing he wouldn’t eat a thing once he got home.
“goodnight doctor fushiguro! get some rest tonight, yeah?” a body comes to view of his secretary; a woman with glasses slipping down the bridge of her nose, a chunky face and beautiful red hair. she waves enthusiastically.
toji smiles, the older woman trying her best not to swoon. he’s young enough to be her son. “good night, miss thorn. thank you for today. you get home safe and enjoy your trip. i wanna hear all about it when you’re back.”
“you know you’re the first person i’m running to tell!” she chirps, toji chuckling. “i left my keys on the main desk. don’t forget or else you’ll have to break open the drawer for your patients files.”
“i’ll be sure to remember.”
twenty minutes pass and toji’s cutting off lights to his small facility and locking up. twirling the keys on his long finger, starting up the sleek black maserati ghibli gt sitting in the parking lot from his key. a black patent leather messenger bag hanging from his shoulder, doctors coat discarded and now attired in his usual black tee with matching slacks. setting it beside him in the passengers seat, he gets a ding! from his cellphone, resting his shoulders in his seat before checking what it was, perhaps it was miss thorn, she tends to leave things behind.
angelbwrry is going live!
toji raises a brow from the notification, checking the sapphire bulova watch on his wrist for the time. 9:54pm. why were you up so late? forgetting people have other schedules, he’s so used to being asleep around this time, much more having to be done today the only reason he was still in the office way past the hour it closed. part of him grows inquisitive, wondering if he should invade your privacy or what not. though, he’s not new to your escapades. he’s seen every inch of your body, memorizing it quite literally. he’s not ashamed to say you’ve gotten him off a few times these past months. he feels like he knows you on a deeper level now, so itching for that perverted behavior would be indecent to both of you. especially if he’s seeing you in two days . . . for a conversation about what you do and his potential participation.
nothing wrong with just watching, right?
as the engine to his car hums, toji finds himself in a devious act, clicking onto your feed and finding you displayed in your feminine bedroom. the videos on mute momentarily before he’s going full screen and turning his phone sideways. there you were, small and standing tall as the slip that barely clung to your body arose the more you moved. hips wide, thighs full, nipples taut and tits defying gravity. the strap on your right shoulder falls elegantly, your hair hoisted up by a claw clip and your brown skin radiating glow. the man openly groans from the sight, knowing you smelt so good.
“wait, i have an idea!” the cute tone of your voice blares through his phone, a smirk painting his stern features as he watches you scramble for something in your room, your slip riding up your ass. the hourglass shape of your body, to the pudge of your tummy . . he’s enamored.
he, and a thousand other people watch curiously as you lift the seven foot mirror that previously leaned against your closet door and position it on the floor at the edge of your bed. then, you’re digging into your bottom drawer for something else, toji catching a brief glance at the chat raving and thirsting from the view of your perky ass peaking out, a tiny birth mark under the left one. the cellulite in your legs that squish together from size, the stretch marks leading from beneath your ass cheeks down to the backs of your knees. so fucking soft.
“ta-da!” you wave the object in your hand courageously, an evil grin on your face as you show the crowd your confetti designed dildo, the brow on toji’s face raising. he almost wants to chuckle. you’re so silly, he thinks. watching you dance your way back towards the mirror where you hum a tune to yourself, swaying your ass in the air for dramatics before plunging your toy onto the center of the mirror so it sticks, watching it spring for attention.
“gonna pretend this is him, ‘till then. can’t wait any longer,” your hands slowly drift up your thighs to show your audience your bare pussy, hiding between those luscious thighs of yours. he wanted to suffocate his face there badly. what you say almost goes over his head. pretend who’s what?
toji ignores the flow of comments filling the chat, degrading you to some degree which he briefly clenches his jaw from, feeling somewhat protective. others praising you, acting like your cash pigs. pathetic, he thinks. he sees one comment in particular that makes the hairs on the back of his neck rise.
prinxxxspeach
aren’t you seeing him saturday? call him now to come help you girl!!
don’t fucking call me, angel. i’ll nut in my pants right now if i hear you say my name. he’s slightly amused that you spoke of him. is that why you went live so late? thinking about him? so pent up, and impatient, you had to just fuck it out your system? he’d fuck you a lot better than that lousy toy you had, that’s for sure.
you giggle from the comment, contacts still in your sockets so you can read what people are saying from afar.
“he can wait for me. he’s making me wait,” it’s like an old film camera flipping to the next scene, or maybe his mind had gone blank from your response because now, now you’re sinking your tiny pussy onto your toy after coating it with lube, the reflection of your cunt for all to see in the mirror. watching as this toy splits you apart, pretty folds swallowing it deep as you balance yourself on the tips of your toes. fully sitting and rolling your hips to adjust, your mouth falls wide and a whimper escapes.
“nng, s’so deep,” that voice of yours is going to get you in trouble. the broken moans you release as you lift your hips to grind and bounce, face falling forward to look at yourself, seeing someone other than yourself. your imagination begins to run wild, and you forget a cameras watching you, dainty fingers caressing the mirror before laying your palm flat, as if you’re choking him. biting your lip, you occupy your other hand by molding at your chest.
you uphold your balance well, clapping your ass down against the mirror now coated with your slick, pussy squelching ridiculously loud aside from your weak moans and desperate whimpers.
“fuuck,” your breath hikes, sounds broken and almost pleading, eyes rolling back as you collapse to your knees and lazily rock back on your idea of a dick. by this point, toji’s eyes are malicious, and his dick is hard in his slacks. shifting in his seat uncomfortably from what you’ve done.
“lemme see your face,” toji whispers in the air, the heat rushing to his cheeks. the things you do to him truly fascinating.
“g’na cuum, mmph daddy!” a high pitched squeal you let out stuns him, your hips shifting back and forth hurriedly. the flesh of your ass moving like water, and he’s in a trance. daddy? what the fuck are you doing to him? he wonders if you knew he was going to purposely join your live. already talking about him gave it away.
“c’mon, angel. show me,” the blood swells in his cock rapidly, tip damn near dripping with precum, unable to help but palm his heavy hand with it, humming and widening his legs.
“too-jii,” it’s faint the words you falter, a pathetic whimper followed by drool covered lips and a cute squeak. your body trembles from the depth of your orgasm, riding out your high and giggling cutely to yourself. to others, the words were inaudible. but to him, he knew exactly what the fuck you said.
the way you smile at yourself in the mirror, as if you’re looking at his fucked out face, you slowly upturn your head to bring it back to the livestream, a drunken, and dangerous grin on your face. never in his years of life had a woman made him gulp. to fear for what you’d do to him. how bad you’d break him, make him go fucking crazy. yearn for your pussy on his mouth.
you were fucking ethereal.
𓇼
of-fucking-course you’d be running late. you were supposed to meet toji at two and it’s two thirty. the location of c’est moi exactly twenty five minutes away from where you lived. you were close to the downtown area, not fond of parking down there but you’d drive faster than an uber can. you made sure to make toji aware of your lateness so he’s not getting the idea that you stood him up. never. not after the other day. you don’t know what happened, but your mind took over your body and you couldn’t help yourself. you only pray he didn’t see it, not expecting him to. it’s embarrassing now that you think back on it.
you manage to make it out of the house twenty minutes after, throwing on a simple white pleated cami dress with a ruffled hem, ruched bust, and pairing of olive green sandals that had tea rose shaded orchids clipped onto the forefront. a teri cherry printed coach bag tight on your shoulder after you sped sixty miles per hour towards the restaurant, finding parking and hurriedly making your way inside.
“hi, reservations for fushiguro. i’m extremely late,” as you approach the host, you make out the sight of the man you were here to see outside instantly. sitting alone sipping a cup of coffee. his side profile all you can see, that deep scar carved into the side of his mouth, his veiny hands big as he clutches the mug . . and your throat clogs up.
he’s fucking . . . big. fuck being nervous before, this made you want to run and hide and never show your face. he’s practically hunching over the table, making it appear smaller than it actually is. his hair is midnight black, his broad shoulders and muscles suffocating the sleek gucci button up he wore, a few undone, eyes studying his cellphone, awaiting your call. one thing about being a doctor, he’s learned to be patient. understanding your alarm forgot to go off, or rather you slept through it . . seemingly growing to become impatient. he needed to see your face now.
“right this way.”
your feet follow blindly behind the hostess, trying your best not to trip over your own feet, heart beating drastically against your ribcage. your palms are sweaty, feeling the warm breeze of spring air hit your skin as the hostess leads you outside to the table where toji resides. he sees you before you see him, the sun beaming on your skin not nearly as hot as your cheeks suddenly became when finally making eye contact. your right hand picks at the ends of your dress anxiously, toji taking a stand to welcome you like a gentleman. it’s like slow fucking motion the closer you approach him, and when you’re inches apart, you can see the stillness on his face. he doesn’t smile, his face is almost unreadable. not sure if he’s upset with you for being late, or he’s just not one for emotions.
“hi,” the hairs on your skin stand from the deep baritone of his voice, visibly swallowing as you stare up at him, height difference making you dizzy.
“hi,” you blink like an innocent doe. he’s hovering over you and the waiter whom sets the menu down on the table, his chest almost touching you as he comes around to pull your chair out for you to sit, finally getting so close to the point where he could breathe in your sweet perfume, the peony and white musk scent has him forcing down a groan. he’s staring intently at your backside, dark hair going to the middle of your back in wild curls, a bit frizzy due to the humidity outside.
“can i get you anything to drink, miss?” the waiter addresses you, politely waiting for toji to move out the way.
why is your entire body on fire? no man has ever had this affect on you. his aura exudes something sinister, overtly masculine even. “u-um, yes please. can i just have a frozen sangria?”
“of course, i’ll be back with that while you decide on your meal.”
“thanks,” you smile sweetly, trying your very best to avoid complete eye contact. once the two of you are alone, you build up the courage to look at him again. he’s seated once more, leaning back into his chair with a left arm resting over the back of the chair with his legs comfortably spread. he liked to do that a lot. his eyes are low, head adjusted somewhat to the left as he observes you.
“good to finally see you,” he’s the first to speak, again. that fucking voice of his; raspy and dominant. how are you supposed to carry out a conversation without folding?
“y-yeah,” you clear your throat, sitting up straight after shyly clamping your hands between your legs and trying to hide like a porcupine. “i want to apologize again for running late. out of all days my phone decides to not ring my alarm. i rushed here as soon as possible. i hope you weren’t waiting too long.”
his lips began to rise into a soft smile, and that eases your nerves. no one would notice you’d rush to get ready. so naturally pretty with your face glowing from rose water and petroleum jelly, hair brushed out, lashes only curled with mascara, lips lined with black liner and smothered with gloss while your prescription glasses sit on the bridge of your nose. too cute.
“sweetheart, no need for the sorry’s. i understand.”
he’s not mad, thank fuck. “kay,” you smile back, tucking pieces of flown hair behind your ear. “did you order yet?”
“was waiting on you,” he replied. “though i kind of lost my appetite. i’m craving something . . . else. so, order anything you’d like.”
that was surely a double meaning. now, you’re not so sure if you had an appetite anymore. you couldn’t bare to eat in front of this man right now. when the waiter came back with your drink, you downed half of it, toji chuckling from your anxiousness. you needed the liquid courage before uttering another word towards the man who watched you with motive, intention. the intimidation brewing from his body is corrupting you. you order a simple caesar salad, nothing too fancy.
“oh! i printed out the document we have to go over.”
toji’s eyes trail to your hands that reach for your purse, acrylic nails painted a peony pink pulling out your notebook stuffed with an arrangement of papers as well as a pen. “guess we can call it like an nda, affidavit . . whatever. i’m sure you’re aware of the obvious on why. um, we can discuss boundaries within the bedroom . . . things we will or will not condone. a safe word is a must. if you don’t feel comfortable showing your face i’d blur it out, but given i do livestreams most of the time that’ll be impossible. so i’d suggest a mask, which i’m actually in to so if that’s something you’re willing to do . . “
toji nods as you continue to ramble, carefully analyzing everything you say, though, his mind begins to drift elsewhere. he still couldn’t get that damn livestream out of his mind. killing himself these past two days just thinking about how fucked out he needed you to be, buried deep and crying underneath him. the cute expressions on your face when you moaned his name so publicly, as if you dared him to see. how desperately you fucked yourself on that pathetic toy of yours from the very thought of him. your whines, the illicit way you stared at your reflection in the mirror beneath your sculpture of a body you rolled seductively. he shifts in his seat, attempting to conceal the stirring of hunger within him as you continue to talk. he doesn’t need a fucking contract. he’d fuck you good and wouldn’t tell a soul.
his expression is firm yet tinged with a hint of something different this time . . anticipation. “why do you film content?”
the unwavering intensity in his gaze causes you to cut your sentence short, mouth forming an ‘o’ as you ponder on his question. was he even listening? “wha—what do you mean?”
toji chuckles. “i mean, why do you film? is it your main source of income? do you enjoy submitting to hundreds of people? does it make you feel confident, make you feel good? why?”
that should’ve been something you prepared yourself to answer. most of the guys you filmed content with didn’t have personal answers to ask, nor did they care. they were simply there to have a good time and go about their lives. you came into this situation thinking that’s what toji wanted as well. now you’re getting a gut feeling it’s more than that. or maybe you’re just an over-thinker. the whole point of making an account on hinge was to find better people to connect with for work, but most of them never got the job done, and you were tired of faking an orgasm and boosting a man’s ego. something about this one though, you can feel that he’s willing to worship you.
“well, i actually have three jobs. hairstylist during the day, which i’m growing to lose passion for. i’m good with pottery so i make little things and sell them. and then as for filming content . . . it’s fast money. the economy is shit right now. minimum wage jobs aren’t cutting it. rent prices are horrifying. i want to fund a new life for myself. to travel more, and just be a girl.”
toji smiles, admiring you.
“bali has been on my mind as a place to reside. it’s always been a dream of mine to be somewhere tropical. less breathing in polluted air and eating foods they pump full of hormones. mexico and puerto rico are also on the list. i really need to dip my feet in some sand or something. i don’t know. it’s also kind of sexually liberating to be in my own bubble and enjoy myself in that way. i do it for no one but myself.”
toji sits up in his seat, taking a piece of ciabatta and smearing softened butter onto the breadpicked up a slice of bread and smeared some butter onto it. “i think that moving to a place like that is a good idea. there’s a lot of bullshit in the world that’s hard to run away from. if you feel like it’s what’s best for your mental and emotional being, then go for it. you seem like you’ve worked real hard your entire life. you deserve a break.”
the heat in your cheeks rise as he leans himself closer, guiding the bread to your lips, waiting for you to take a bite. you smile softly, sitting up a bit in your chair before taking a bite. toji watches intensely as you moan from the taste.
“isn’t it much better when it’s given by someone else?”
“yeah, it’s good. real good,” you swallow, licking your lips to rid the breadcrumbs, reaching for your glass of wine to take another sip. “i have most of my savings in tact, so my plan is to be out of here by next year.”
the unadulterated pull between the two of you threatens to consume him as he stares at you, his body almost painfully yearning for your touch, your taste, your everything. toji can no longer resist. he reaches out and gently cups your chin, his fingers gently yet firmly tilting your face up to meet his smoldering gaze when you dared to look away. “how ‘bout you take me with you.“
the entire scene switches, his voice dropping to a husky whisper, filled with a raw mixture of lust and vulnerability makes you fall shamelessly into his trance. you feel your heart patter against your chest, scanning his entire face with small indications of panic, and excitement. you’ve been dying for his touch all week. you pray he’s as good as he looks.
“what’s the catch?” you breathe inordinately.
toji smirks. “we get fake married or something and change our identities.”
you shake your head at his joke. “i need to see a ring first, mister.”
“mhm, you look like a marquise kinda girl,” he tongues his cheek, in deep thought. “go to bali. i pay, you enjoy life.”
pairs of lips are mere inches away, toji ghosting his softly amongst your own, yours parting to follow. you feel like you’re in space, the feeling extraterrestrial. surrounded by depths of nothingness with only the two of you existing.
“i. . no, i can’t let you do that,” you shake your head dismissively.
“you deserve it.”
“you don’t know me.”
“good. that’ll be the perfect occasion for us to spend more time together,” he concludes, softly pecking your lips to coax you into giving him what he needed. you’re stunned, unsure what to say, or to think. so, he doesn’t make you think.
“fuckin’ kiss me,” his voice drops to a husky whisper, filled with a raw mixture of desire and vulnerability, eyes flickering from the plumpness of your lips to your eyes. “can’t wait any fucking longer.”
the heat of his breath mingles with yours as his lips brush against your own in a hungry, fiery kiss. his mouth devours yours with an intensity that borders on primal, each movement filled with a desperate need to taste and consume everything you have to offer. his tongue slips past your parted lips, eagerly exploring the depths of your mouth as if seeking to memorize every inch of you.
you were drawn in fully now and you didn’t think you’d be able to pull away even if you wanted.
within the moment of your passionate kiss, as toji’s rough hand trailed to grasp your throat, your waiter begins to approach with your salad, eyes widening as he noticed how deeply, and somewhat aggressively your make out session was. practically swallowing each others faces. deciding to mind his business and turn the other way. he’d come back in a few minutes. toji breaks the kiss abruptly, his eyes gleaming with a hint of reluctance.
“damn this table,” he mutters, his gaze shifting towards the barrier separating the two of you. his breathing is ragged, body practically trembling with pent-up need. even so, he manages to pull himself together enough to maintain some semblance of composure.
he’s left you breathless, feeling something in your chest you’d never felt before, this attraction for him otherworldly. your lips are pouted, hands bawled into little fists levitating in front of your chest, as if you were begging for him to come back. when he begins to rise to his feet, you wonder where he’s going, eyes coming into immediate contact at the bulge growing tight in his jeans. you swallow, shifting your gaze up to the tall man that hovers over you possessively.
“go home, send me the address. i gotta handle a few business calls then i’ll be there at eleven.”
you hadn’t noticed the way your teeth sunk into your lower lip as you give him those damn puppy eyes, as if you’re so fascinated by him, almost scared of him to leave right now. toji grabs the pen resting between your little pink book, signing his signature on the indicated line on the bottom of the page for your gratification. after, he’s fishing for the brown leather wallet in his pocket to place down a hundred dollar bill on the table to cover the tab and the waiters tip. then, he leans down, lips gently brushing against your forehead in a tender kiss that sends a shiver down your spine. he lingers just a moment longer, as if reluctant to let go.
“see you later, angel.”
finally, and with that, he steps back, his eyes lingering on your form for a moment before he turns and walks away, the sound of his heavy footsteps echoes in your ears, leaving you alone with your thoughts and a lingering sense of anticipation for the evening to come. starstruck entirely.
𓇼
a rush of arousal burned within you like wildfire as you lay in your empty bed, yearning for the man who's been gone for only a few hours now. caressing your collarbone while chewing on your lip, your phone rests in your palm, excitement brewing for twenty minutes now ever since he texted you to let you know he was on the way. a black baby doll is adorned on your soft skin. ruffle lace details at the neckline and hem with a satin waistband tie at the back into a cute bow. matching mesh g-string panty, and floral patterns along the bust and hip area.
you took the time to curl your hair, reminding yourself to actually put your contacts in this time. also keeping makeup to a minimum with just mascara, a bit of blush, and some strawberry chapstick. skin moisturized in baby oil and spritzed with miss dior. . . waiting. the camera’s set up across from your bed, trying to distract yourself by engaging in conversation with your viewers. the comments were raging about how impatient they were to see something, but how did they think you felt? you could barely walk out of that restaurant without feeling your legs shake.
he intimidated you beyond measure, and god knows what he’s going to do to you when he gets here. it’s a fear and form of greed you’d never felt before.
“my fucking hands are shaking,” you giggle anxiously, smiling to yourself and shaking your hands before dramatically breathing out.
as you waited, you did little things to keep your buyers entertained, showing your ass every now and then as you cleaned your room like a cute maid. call it foreplay. sitting on your knees now become uncomfortable, so you aim for lowering to your tummy and stretching your arms ahead of you, ass raised up. as soon as you get comfortable, your head pops up from the sound of heavy footsteps surrounding the small area of your home. it’s him. you’d hope, leaving the door unlocked so it’d be easier for him to enter.
“oh, fuck—y’all,” the anxiety is even worse now, mentally preparing yourself with steady breaths and shoving your face into the bed to scream happily. the emotions are bipolar. “he’s coming up.”
toji steps closer to your slightly cracked open door, pushing it open wide to see you. his demeanor nothing short of serious when he gets a good look at you, hearing you yap at your camcorder with his hands stuffed into his jean pockets. he rests his right shoulder against the frame of the door, staring at you, admiring. his boots hit along the floor the closer he gets to you, and that cute ass you had perched up. the lights in your room are dimly lit, citrus candles spread around and led lights from your vanity illuminating the area. the vibe is nice, he likes it. like he likes you.
you continue to speak to your livestream and pretend he wasn’t there, trying to ignore your heartbeat picking up. the tension is in the air. you tried to steady your breathing as you continue to ramble about nonsense; animal crossing, sims you wanted to recreate and purposely wicked whim them. anything to distract yourself from the sparks shivering through your body. you prod the inside of your cheek trying to bite back a grin when you finally feel his hands on your hips, eyes watching the chat go wild from the brooding man behind you. what makes it all the more hot is that he hasn’t spoken a word, feeling like an intruder. stalking, waiting.
“so yeah, i’m thinking about dying my hair red. i feel like my face is kinda full to have a silk press so i’ll look . . off? maybe p-pin ‘urls,” a wave of pleasure shocks through you when you feel him press the outline of his dick against your cunt, dragging you back to air-fuck you once or twice. a few times. for the tease of it. his fingertips lightly flowing along the curves and contours of your body, your hips being the most sensitive. gasping and twitching from the feel, the thong you wore barely shielding how wet you were.
your breath became heavier, and you found it harder to continue speaking. you felt like moans would slip out of if you continued to react to his touch, the heat between you two rising. you were drawn fully into him. the reaction from him gave you a confidence boost, a slick smile showing on your face. while his body speaks of his own growing need, he remains a silent observer, his intense gaze watching as you maintain, or try, your playful conversation with the camera.
“i gotta admit something,” you smile into your hair that falls angelically around the frame of your face. his form, silhouetted behind you, takes on an ominous yet seductive presence. even though he remains hidden from view, his yearn is palpable, eyes locked on you as if he could consume you with a single glance.
“i fucked myself thinking of him,” a jolt of electricity runs down toji’s spine as he recollects the image. a low, involuntary groan escapes his throat as his grip on you tightens. “those of you who don’t remember. it was really, really good.”
that’s the final trigger. in seconds, a rough palm strikes the flesh of your ass, causing the cutest squeak to emit from you. toji’s wrapping his other fist around the softness of your hair and pulling you back to his hard chest. his cologne is strong, enrapturing even. your hand reaches beside you to catch his wrist in your grip, feeling the coldness of his expensive watch while he’s busy locking your jaw still and pressing his lips beneath your ear.
“really?” the tone is condescending, and as you nod frantically, pushing your ass back to feel him more, all you can hear is the unraveling of his belt. slowly removing it, the sound of the leather rubbing against the buckle and his pants. the anticipation fills you at an alarming pace. “i knew that, angel.”
how? wait, did he fucking watch the live you made that night? your legs nearly go weak at the possibility, sheer embarrassment consuming you. he wasn’t meant to see that. yeah, you told him about it. but him seeing that, then having lunch with you like nothing happened is crazy work. he noticed you’re frozen, chuckling darkly behind you.
“relax, doll. i can pretend i didn’t, ‘n you can show me all over again.”
he grabs your wrists, pining them behind your back with a rush of power fueling him, crossed hands sitting on your ass.
“this okay, baby?” he scans the side of your face for approval, using the smooth leather to bond them together. you hum, lips bitten and nodding obediently.
the look on your face in the camera is so worth the thousands of views from people who were just as desperate as he was to see you submit. your hands wriggle to touch him, laying your head on his shoulder and biting your lip as his teeth graze from your shoulder, to your collarbone, and your neck. your body’s completely on fire, and he makes it worse when he gently shoves you forward to fall on your face, back arched and ass high for his view, and theirs.
toji stared down at you as you remained there, fully surrendering yourself for the taking. his larger body leans over yours, fingers grabbing your chin to force your mouth to open. toji brushes his lips along yours, your desperate mouth sinking into him, feeling that same spark you felt earlier during lunch in your chest. he deepened the kiss to give you what you wanted, easily reading you, his tongue ravaging your mouth with his waist grinding into the shape of your ass. the kiss is so wet it has you mewling like a cat in heat, losing your breath.
“give me a safe word, hm?” toji sucks on his lower lip, the arousal in his eyes ruining you. a heavy hand rubs circles on your ass before hitting it again, another cute sound leaving that pretty mouth you had.
brushing your cheek along your bed set, dark curls dancing around your face and a pout on your lips, you whimper, “strawberry.”
“mhm,” your stomach flips when you felt his hand drift between your inner thigh, toji’s tongue skidding over your lips the same time his fingers apply pressure to your clit, rubbing in circles after he pulls your panties to the side, your babydoll resting pretty on top of the rolls on your back. your fists are balled tightly in your restraints, widening your mouth to suck on his tongue before giving him a deep kiss. the image on your face is pure dizziness. acting like your fucked dumb while barely being fucked. he couldn’t wait to see you crumble.
you squirm under his touch, breath growing short and shaky, toji maintaining eye contact with you dangerously. he’s big on it, and it makes you shy, yet brave enough to endure it.
“you hear yourself, girl?” toji hisses, pecking your lips hard, his fingers coated with your slick the more he rubbed. you whine, arching your ass even closer to his hand. “you’re so needy for me, it’s cute.”
it’s ridiculous that you can’t even speak, him turning you into nothing but a whiny, whimpering sub. “you’re desperate for my touch, for my tongue.” he whispered, his voice growing even rougher as his own need grew.
“mmm, yes. need it so bad,” you pout, mouth gaping after he spanks your clit lightly. “fuck, please eat it, baby.”
“i will good girl.”
he didn’t hesitate for another second, sliding behind you with one knee pressed into the bed and his big hands holding you still, spreading your cheeks further apart and cussing under his breath from how fucking cute your pussy was. fat, and glistening in your juices, clit hiding between your folds giving him something to search for. “g’na fuckin’ kill me, angel. pretty fuckin’ pussy you got.”
you scoot up as much as you can, hands still bound behind your back, wanting to cry from the inability to move, but loving that he had you at his mercy. his hair covers his eyes and he’s submerged into you, pressing his mouth to your pussy in a sweet kiss, like he’s knocking politely, before running his thick, long tongue over you slowly. a groan resounded devilishly, toji lapping at your dripping clit, tongue hot and your toes can do nothing but curl.
he’s slow and deliberate, enjoying the sounds and reactions he was getting out of you as you writhed and quivered under his ministrations. your pussy and his mouth makes up the loudest voice in the room, so fucking sweet and wet he’s salivating over you. spanking you, taking his time to devour you as he swallows your cunt whole, tongue gliding from your clit all the way to your hole. occasionally dipping his tongue into you to fuck you like that. your eyes cross, a broken cry making him lose it.
“keep bouncing that ass back, baby. fuck, fuck my face, angel,” he’s hitting you again, and you can’t take it, shifting your thighs to roll your ass back onto his gorgeous face. you’re panting like an animal, jaw dropping as he keeps his mouth on your clit, sucking it hard and groaning into your cunt, the vibrations traveling up your spine.
“oh . . god, oooh god,” the gasp in your throat became high pitched, toji licking you faster when he sees you giving your utmost effort. continuing his onslaught on your sensitive clit, swollen and satiating his taste buds. his fingers dug into your thighs, lowering himself completely to sit on his knees before you, rocking you back on his face as he eats it, unrelenting. sucking, licking, slurping, drowning his tongue inside of you . . . damn, it’s fucking good.
“c-cumming,” he can barely hear you as you stuff your face into the bed, toji’s head bouncing as you settle your feet on his shoulders and rock back on his face even quicker, groaning. “don’t stop, don’t s-stop, babyyy.”
“mhm hmm,” he’s moaning into your pussy, kissing and tonguing you down until you finally burst, your hands in their constraint balling into fists, getting the chance to latch onto his black hair once he pushes you flat on your stomach to bury his face completely between your ass and thighs. “let it out, baby.”
his chin glistened from your juices, toji groaning the rougher you tugged at his scalp, dick jumping in his jeans he needed to unravel soon. when you cum, you do this thing where you squeal and gasp at once, and he swears it’s the cutest thing he’s ever fucking heard. lifting his face, he licks his lips proudly, wiping his chin and patting your ass to watch it shake in his palm. you were a lovely display beneath him, and he couldn’t help but feel a sense of ownership over you.
he reached down and traced a finger along the length of your trembling leg, his dominant presence still overwhelming. he brings his hand to the back of your neck which you arched into his touch, his eyes darkening at your silent plea. “you want more?”
“nn, yea,” a breathless giggle falls from you, toji dragging you to sit at your knees by the grip on your neck and around your chest with his forearm, back hitting his chest again, and your eyes come into contact with the camera, almost forgetting it was there.
“show them what i did to your pussy, angel. let them see how perfect you are,” toji whispers, tapping at your knees to help you sit on your behind.
“okay,” the words are small again, because that’s how he makes you feel. once you sit, you raise your knees to your chest, toji lifting your babydoll to show your soft tummy and the pink lights from your vanity mirror glowing on the angles and curves of your body. you look like the finest art.
it’s liberating seeing yourself like this, a sense of relief washing over you when he begins to unloose the belt, humming elatedly and arching into him, your periwinkle painted toes twinkling in the air playfully. toji laughs at you, your hand coming to your cunt to cover it out of fake shyness, rolling to lay on your side and giggling to yourself. you really did know how to play a role, or maybe you’re just naturally silly.
toji unfastened his button before drifting his zipper down, thick thighs spread and arms bulky as he kept them in fists into the bed, tilting his head in your direction as he sat beside you, body taking up half the bed. you sit on your knees next to him, your hands running across his stomach and lifting up his shirt, toji licking his lips when your nails delicately scratch at his hips. you moan when his hand comes into contact with your hair, your nails digging into the broadness of his thigh.
as he guided your head down, you could feel the heat coming off of his body. you could smell the unique scent of masculinity wafting off of him. the feeling of his fingers running through your hair sent tingles down your spine, his touch tender and affectionate despite his dominating demeanor. your chest fluttered when his thumb touched your lower lip, your breath stuttering and your body quivering, a heat rising in your core all over. you felt the need for him grow stronger, pulling your lip downward. he shifted his fingers and tilted your chin up further, exposing your throat and neck to him. then he leans over, his free hand coming up to cup the back of your head as his mouth latches onto your neck. pressing light kisses along the sensitive skin, his tongue grazing out and your skin pricks with fire.
“can’t stop tasting you,” he grunts, his lips and tongue on your throat licking hard, driving you insane with need. his hand holding the back of your neck in a possessive manner, keeping you in place as his mouth explored your sensitive skin.
“toji. .” your voice is weak, feeling your inner thighs drown in a puddle of your arousal. “wanna suck it.”
“i’m sorry, what was that?” he hums.
“don’t tease,” you roll your eyes and pout.
“mhm,” he lets out a little grunt as his eyes rake over you, his breath catching slightly as he stares at you. he runs his hand down to your waist, gripping fervently. “so pretty,” he murmurs.
“thank you,” you whisper, feeling a strong rush of affection for him. “you’re so handsome,” you say, your voice low and tender.
“g’na give it a good kiss, baby? real good?” he hisses, your hand pulling at his jeans to sit lower on his sharp hips, letting his dick free and watching it with a watered mouth as it sat against his tummy. heavy, thick, two veins protruding on either side. you fucking knew he was big. bless your intuition.
“yes, want it,” you plead.
a low growl escaped his throat. “show me you want it then,” he purrs, his eyes growing darker with desire and his grip on your hip tightening.
the salivation in your mouth gave you just what you needed to do the job, widening your mouth to accommodate his size, drooling over his dick as you pull him in as deep as you could to start. half of him enclosed by the warmth of your mouth and instantly toji moans from the feel, your cheek sucking in while you guide your head up and down, keeping your hands to yourself, one on his thigh for balance. your eyes are closed to focus, humming and dragging your mouth slow to make him feel it all. toji catches himself knocking his head back, pulling the sheets between his fingertips and scrunching his brows together, stomach caving in.
he can hear you slurp and suck at him needily, moaning around him and riding the air with your ass, spit gliding down to the base of his dick as your tongue sticks out to drag along the under of his shaft, bobbing your head and licking at him. something about giving him head in specific felt intoxicating. maybe it’s the sounds he makes; guttural yet whiny. the desperation begs to tug at his throat, shifting his hips blindly and cussing under his breath. eventually, his fingers find their way back to your scalp, toji sitting up and entangling both hands into your hair, face curated in pleasure with eyes wired shut and a gaped jaw.
“shit, ꒰♡꒱. that’s fuckin’ good, doll,” toji grunts, your moans around him encompassing him to briefly detangle a hand to spank against your ass in clear indulgence. “damn.”
your hand couldn’t help but travel to touch him, wrapping your hand around the base of his dick to stroke your hand according to the pace your mouth drags. that gravitational wave in his abdomen hit, a deep ‘your suckin’ it so good’ fleeing from his mouth followed by another harsh spank and a steady tug at your scalp to push you down only enough to follow your rhythm. when he hits the back of your throat, you force yourself to hold him there for a few seconds, purposely constricting your throat to hear him moan for you again, and again. his sounds addicting.
toji chuckles from how good you’re doing, raising your head to breathe before swallowing only the tip while stroking the remainder, your salvia being enough lubricant to quickly move your wrist. twisting and tugging while keeping it mostly on the head of his cock, the sensitive spot your toy to play with as you give teasing kitty licks, two hands covering him now.
picking your head up momentarily, you stare into his eyes with your siren ones, low and dangerous. pulling at his dick while you bite your lips before kissing him, mewling when he shoves his tongue into your mouth, pulling your body closer by your ass, the other grabbing the side of your face he practically swallowed into his own. the kiss is feverish, something straight out of a movie. he’s highly infatuated with you, tasting himself off of you with the mixture of yourself. toji sucks on your lower lip, and you find yourself positioning your thigh over his to sit and grind on his leg. you had enough of the foreplay, you needed him to fuck you.
“fuck me,” a whimper escapes, pressing your body down harder onto him, hand still stroking at him, that fucking voice of yours driving him mad. he doesn’t think he’ll last if you keep it up. “toji. . . toji.”
“stop begging,” he shuts it down quickly, the sound of his boots hitting the floor as he kicks them off exciting you. of course you couldn’t hide the smile, feening innocence as you pet at his jeans to help him remove them.
he's only in his black shirt now, your eyes following how his muscles swallowed the material, showcasing every sharp cut of his upper body. he made you dizzy, truly. that slit on the side of his mouth curving with his mouth as he smirks at you for getting lost in your cute little dream land.
“focus, love,” toji reels you back in, his hand on your lower back to arch your chest into his, dragging you to straddle him. if he could see the blush on your face he’d see that you were red as a tomato, his dick sitting right beneath you and you can’t help but shudder. “need you to lift your hips, help daddy out.”
“kay,” you nod like a damn bobble head, laying your hands on his shoulders and balancing yourself on your tippy toes, wrapping your arms around his neck for extra security. toji’s large arm his thrown around your waist to keep you locked to him, both of your body heat scorching.
he catches a hold of his dick, pumping it twice before he’s rubbing the fat tip against your drenched opening, collecting your flow before a soft gasp emits past your lips when you feel him gently enter, sinking you down carefully, little by little. the sensation from the stretch is . . like a fantasy. your foreheads are touching, breaths mingling as he removes his hand to balance the two of you on the bed, leaning back somewhat for your comfortability.
when you think he’s fully apart of you, that thought is knocked down the minute he utters, “c‘mon, girl. you gotta lot more to take.”
“oh my god,” the shock is out of, well, shock. he feels really good already, it’s gonna be hell if you handle any more. embedding your nails into his clothing, chin resting between the crook of his neck while you ground your ass back to make it easier for him to slip completely in. the two of you groan in sync, toji’s arm tightening around your waist from how tight you felt.
the more you rock, slow, steady, it fucks the both of you up. holding tightly onto one another while toji lets you take your time, the heavy breathing and hearts beating rapidly is fucking poetic. one might call this act making love. once you drop your ass entirely, that pressure in your sweet spot causes you to scream out softly, losing balance and sitting on your knees, holding onto him with an unexpected whine.
“shit, baby, you alright?” he’s immediately checking in on you, bringing you up and make eye contact, hands holding either side of your face and scanning for signs. pushing away the fact that you’re convulsing around his dick and trying his best not to fuck you hard. yet, at least.
again, you can’t even speak. your mouth is wide open, nodding and breathing heavily, shifting your hips and grind onto him, flexing your ass when you arch your back deeper before lifting halfway and slamming yourself down. toji chokes, face copying yours as he grips onto the sheets and places his arm back around you, helping you lift yourself.
“you feel . . really good, baby. stuffing me full,” you moan, toji grunting and yanking you up and down faster, losing his patience now. it blew out the fucking window the minute he slipped inside you. he fixates on the sound of your pussy sliding and swallowing his dick, the slick making his tongue water for the taste all over. you’re so fucking sweet it’s insane.
“yeah?” he lets out a low, guttural groan and grips your hips even harder, his breaths coming out in deep gasps. “fuck me like you fucked that toy, thinking of me.”
that makes you smile, that insecurity of him seeing that video earlier disappearing as you take both of your small hands and wrap them around his throat, using your weight to push his body so he falls onto his back, his hands cupping the curves under your ass cheeks. toji usually isn’t one for submission, but he’s been thinking for a while about trying new shit, and a pretty girl like you choking and fucking him was only the start. you see the look in his eyes, and you feel heat sweltering inside of you even more, relishing the fact that you are the one in control, applying more pressure to his neck, loving the way his breath hitches.
“you want me to fuck you just like that?” you lick your lips and grind teasingly, the dangerous swirl of your hips making his head sink further into the bed.
“want you to fuck me like that, angel. gimme a show.”
and you won’t deny his wish. positioning yourself back on the tips of your toes, his hands are smoothing underneath your thighs, clutching on either sides as you with his eyes going dark, his hips bucking. he can barely string a thought together, his mind completely consumed by the sensations you’re sending through him. your pussy takes it all while you pounce your body above him, rolling your waist each time you dip your ass down and meet his thighs.
“fuck, you feel so good,” he grunts, his voice thick with pleasure, eyes never leaving yours before his voice rasps out, “keep going. fuck me for real. like you want it. it’s yours.”
you let out a strangled gasp, body jerking and mind almost slipping away, the pleasure he’s giving you overwhelming and consuming you completely. his hands on your body clench harder, the warmth from his body on yours killing you.
“just like that,” his hands move at their own possession now, slamming down on your ass repeatedly to bruise your skin, the hits vibrating straight to your clit and it’s making you drunk. your eyes scroll back into your skull, his appraisal driving you to work for it faster.
“t-toji, i’m so wet for you,” you gasp in shock from the slickness between you two. “look what you did to me. you slide in and out so easily.”
“f-fuck, doll. you’re killing me talkin’ like that,” he lets out a strangled gasp at your words, voice ragged and eyes filled with need. “you like it that much, baby?”
“y-yes!” a squeal sounds from you, bouncing heavier than before, your voice getting caught in your throat from the impact. you clutch any part of his skin you can grab, losing yourself in the way he fills you. “i love your dick, baby. makes me feel prettier.”
hazy eyes filled with pleasure admire your features, fucked out already when he still has so much he wanted to do to you. give you what you deserve. a smirk tugs at his lips, sitting up and leaning in close, missing the skin contact. his voice low and rough as he says, “you look prettier when you’re sitting on my dick.”
“yeah,” you drunkenly nod. “s’mine.”
toji raises a brow with amusement. “it can be yours. when you cum on it real hard.”
wanting him even closer to you, you keep only one hand around his neck, placing the other on his forearm and pressing your chest to his entirely as you gyrate your hips and tease his neck, hovering over his skin with your mouth and teeth before you leave little love-bites on his skin. toji guides your hips in a circular motion, the simple switch up making you gasp and whine into his ear, hitting that spot repeatedly.
“god, baby,” you feel his guidance, his grip on your hips firm as he moves you. you ride against him, the friction on your clit making you whimper weakly, his deep voice in your ear making your body shake, feeling another orgasm develop. “i love it. s’fucking me so good.”
“see you movin’ just like you did for me on that mirror,” he wraps his hand around your neck, squeezing firmly. your eyes lock, yours clouded by arousal, his with an agenda. “fuckin’ yourself like that . . ima fuck you real bad for that,” toji hissed, swiping his tongue across his lower lip before aggressively smacking your ass. “i feel that fuckin’ pussy squeezing me tighter. if you’re g’na cum then do it on me. gush all on it.”
the more your body reacts to his praise, and sprinkles of degradation, the faster your orgasm approaches you, washing over you hard as your body spasmes from the intensity of it. your teeth sink into his shoulder as you scream, riding out your high, squeezing hard on his arms. toji kisses your temple, keeping you close as he falls back and lays on his side while turning you to face your camera you’d both forgotten about, still did.
“you did so well,” the kisses continue around your face while your brains on autopilot, his hand clasping around your neck as he presses his hot chest against your back. his kisses are so aggressive it makes you feel small and wanting to obey. you jump when he spanks you, moaning weakly into your shoulder with your arms halfway hanging off the bed.
toji goes lift your right leg to adjust himself behind you, dick achingly hard and covered in your juices, slipping back inside of you fully before angling your knee towards your tummy, keeping a hand locked under the bend of your knee, your skin smooth to the touch. you smell good too. everything about you besotted him. your hand touches his face, tugging it closer to the point where his nose smushed against your cheek, dark hair clouding your eyesight as his big frame overtakes yours.
“you’re gonna kill me,” you whisper, eyes focused on each other, a giggle creeping up.
“not you,” he whispered back, rolling his waist back and forth, grinding deeper into you. the plush of your ass molding against his sharp hips. his lips brush on your neck as he kisses and nibbles at your sensitive skin. your hands roam over your body, touching and exploring every inch of yourself as his lips trail down your collarbone, darkly watching as your hand presses on your clit. “her.”
as he possessively holds you in place, he’s prepared you enough before he’s fucking you hard, knocking the wind from your throat completely. a hard gasp falls past your lips as toji slams his hips against your ass, knitting his brows together, squeezing his eyes shut while his mouth falls open. the utter silence both of your voices held at the moment was more powerful than the rough interaction of your skin. your eyes a ghost white as he pounds his dick into you hard. when a noise is made, it’s from equal parts, syncing your eager moans.
“ooh, fuck baby. you’re taking it,” he huskily whispers into your ear, his words punctuated by the way he continues to move into you. “sucking me so deep. m’not going nowhere.”
“to-ji,” his name is broken down by the harsh pounds he fucks you with, whining and moaning in his entrapment. your vision gone. “i love the way you fuck me. you fuck me so good.”
he fucks like he’s not letting up, his body pushing you deeper into the mattress, the grip around your neck remains tight, the feeling of his ownership only growing more intense. his body is hovering over yours now, digging deep as he can to fuck you real good, to make himself feel it all. your body remains to the side, only half twisted as he drops your leg and pushes his weight into you so your stomach is close to grazing the bed.
“s’too much, fuck . . i, i—” the words are caught in your throat from the overstimulation. breathing heavy, tears begin to fill your sockets, whining his name loudly in his face like you’d lost your mind for good this time. this pleasure was something you hadn’t felt in a long time. it’s everything you needed and more.
toji shushes you, kissing your nose as he grips your face, big hand almost covering it whole. “you like when daddy takes control? you like when he tells you what to do?”
toji will admit, you’ve got him fucking spent. it’s been a long time since he’s had a woman submit and cry under him, and you do all those things well. the gorgeous image on your face, to the salacious movement of your body. the softness of your skin and the equal relation of your voice. capturing and captivating him. you’d think he was on drugs the way he was talking. high off his ass from your pussy. his lips gently brush over your ear. your eyes flutter, his voice attacking your clit, and you swear it makes it gush even more, soaking the sheets underneath your ass. “when he makes you his? you like being my good girl, pretty?”
he knows you can’t speak anymore, but you’re still interactive with your body language. the slur of your nonexistent words to the way you try to roll your ass back to fuck him back . . but he’s got you trapped. even the tears falling down your face from overwhelming pleasure. he knows you’re okay, asking for a safe word prior for your protection. you’re a big girl, he knows you can handle it.
“nnng,” you can’t stop trembling, gasping for air and sobbing in his face. toji places his forehead on yours, looking into your eyes and nodding, cooing. you are fucked dumbed. toji hisses, hitting your ass and pausing momentarily to look between where you two collide, an ‘oh my god’ faltering out. he’s as gone as you are.
“you so fuckin’ creamy, girl,” toji drags out a frustrated hum, getting annoyed by how good your pussy is. you’re going to become a problem.
“please,” you don’t even know what you’re saying it for. do you need him to stop, do you want more, or are you just completely fucked out you’re saying anything that’s coming to your head? that butterfly feeling is back in your stomach, as well as a foreign one near your clit, knowing exactly what’s going to happen. “toji, m’ g’na c-cummm. oh my god, babyy.”
your hiccups and sobs only urge him to fuck you even harder, loving how the breath literally jumps out of your throat in shock.
“cryin’ on this dick. fuck, you got me going crazy,” he really doesn’t want to cum yet, he needed to fuck you in every way imaginable. but he knows you need a break, to breathe for sure. he wanted to edge himself so that when he finally came, it’d be the best fucking orgasm of his life. your moans are clawing at his soul, so filthy and dulcet. you’re making it really fucking difficult to obtain that.
toji finds himself slamming his palm over your mouth to bury them in a way, but you’re so damn loud it’s getting to him. ‘fuck fuck fuck’ he’s cussing repeatedly in a whispered hush as he fucks you as hard he possibly can. his hand doesn’t even work, because you’re consuming him wholly and the minute he feels that build up, he pulls out to cum and you’ve drenched the sheets as you squirt. an almost blood curdling scream surrounds the room, your body rapidly trembling as your mouth falls open in utter shock, gasping, whining, whimpering, moaning his fucking name while he moaned yours. toji nutting up the entire side of your body, wrist twisting as he holds you body still, mouth drawn open.
his hand reaches over to unclamp your legs, heavy hand rubbing your pussy to stimulate you further, your back arching and head sinking into your pillow, crying out. he watches your hand flail to grip his wrist as your wetness continues to spurt out of you like water.
“strawberry!” toji listens to you weep, choking on your cries and pleads. finally having enough.
“holy s-shit,” you’re laughing while also trying to catch your breath, not believing that just happened. he can tell by the shock in your face that you’ve never had it happen before, or that much.
“damn,” he laughs along with you, smacking your outer thigh before smashing his lips to yours in a deep kiss, gliding your tongues together while his hands massaged every part of your body after allowing you to lay on your back. caressing and soothing you to calm you down. “gonna grab a rag.”
you pout when he goes to stand, already missing the disconnect as you lay empty on your . . messy bed. absolutely disgusting you two, hawk puth! one things for sure, you can’t keep that wide ass smile off your face. he comes back into the room, one of your pink towels wrapped around his midsection covering up that demon of a dick he carried. toji smirks down at you, grabbing your ankle and tugging you down to the edge of the bed before he’s taking a warm rag that smelt of your dove beauty bar to wipe what he painted on you. you swallow your lower lip into your mouth, watching with hooded eyes as he drags the rag sensually along ever part of your skin. you flinch when it comes to contact with your cunt, toji kissing your inner thigh with a ‘sorry’. he admires the curves of your body even more, kissing your ankle adorned with a silver anklet after he finishes.
“how you feeling?” he asks.
“i’m more than perfect.”
he hums. “you’re something else.”
“i was good?” you ask seriously, batting your lashes shyly.
toji stares at you as if you’re deadass. “don’t do that. you know you were. you didn’t hear me? i fuck you deaf?”
that makes you roll your eyes, but not before giggling. “hate you.”
“you won’t after i tell you i got chinese in the kitchen,” he winks, the light in your eyes making his heart swell. “c’mon, sexy.”
you sit up, gasping. “i knew i fucking smelt that shit when you came in. i thought it was outside!”
“nah, i realized i didn’t eat shit at the restaurant earlier so i decided to get us both something. did you even eat your salad?”
“i did, had to after you dropped a whole hundred,” you shake your head. “how’d you know i liked chinese?”
toji blinks. “baby, we literally talked half of this week. for hours. i have good memory.”
that slip of a nickname outside of sex warmed your chest, burying your face in your hair to hide your shyness. “you’re right.”
“don’t hide now, i’ve seen it all,” he chuckles, tickling the bottom of your foot.
“oh, whatever!” you chuck one of your plushies at him, half of them had fallen to the floor. toji gets up to grab your robe he saw hanging on the bathroom door, draping it around you as you stood.
he kisses your forehead and you walk ahead of him into the kitchen, screeching when he hit and gripped your ass, the two of you forgetting about the livestream altogether as you warmed up the food, poured a glass of wine and reminisced about what just happened.
angelbwrry live : 1M viewers.
© 𝒮𝒯𝟦𝑅𝐵𝒲𝑅𝑅𝒴! all rights reserved. please do not repost, steal, or modify my work simply because it is mine. stealing isn't cute. i'll ruin your life ♡
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Hiiiiii! I love your work sm!
I was wondering you would please be able to write something where the reader has a lot of restless energy and only feels calm around James?
It could be just James any pairing with James that you feel like! Thank you so much for filling the world with your beautiful stories! <3
soooooo I asked Liz first before I did this, but I've changed the pairing a bit in hopes that it would help combat my writers block - it's taken me longer to complete but I hope I've done the request justice even if it's not with our sweet Jamie <3 <3
Sirius Black x Potter!reader who feels like she's too much
CW: a little bit of misogyny/internalized misogyny, hyperactivity/trouble focusing
You’d recited the eleventh step of brewing the felix felicis potion silently in your head when you realised you were being called upon in class.
“Miss. Potter.” Professor McGonagall called out, causing your head to snap to attention from where you’d been gazing out the window. “Are the birds outside more interesting than my lecture of Transfiguration?”
Yes.
“No, Professor.” You answered quickly as a few students around you snickered.
“Then I should expect your attention to be at the front of the class, Miss. Potter.”
“Yes, Professor.” You mumbled quietly as you sank into your chair, pinning your gaze to the board in front of you as you zoned out.
It wasn’t McGonagall’s fault; but Transfiguration was boring, at least to you.
Discussing the ‘intricate spell work and wand movements’ required to transfigure a button into a butterfly was childs play when one was already an animagus. You could probably [and may very well] produce butterflies in your sleep.
But she didn’t know that, she couldn’t know that.
So now, your knee was bouncing underneath your desk and your brain wasn’t fairing much better.
Sitting here and listening to McGonagall drone on about stuff you already knew couldn’t hold your attention, and it wasn’t long before you were eavesdropping on the two Ravenclaws gossiping behind you.
“I thought she was seeing the older Black?”
“She is, but that’s what he said!”
“I think he’s lying.”
“Honestly, I don’t believe 75% of the things to come out of Lockharts mouth.”
Oh yeah, there had been a rumour that you had 'snogged Gilderoy Lockhart’ in a broom closet last week.
You and Sirius had laughed and laughed about that.
James didn’t find it nearly as funny though and charmed Gilderoy’s hair Gryffindor red for 48 hours.
That was pretty intricate charm work now that you were thinking about it - you’ll have to ask your brother to teach it to you.
Perhaps some of the wand work would look similar to Transfiguration spells so McGonagall wouldn’t know you’re not paying attention.
Shit. You weren’t paying attention.
You moved your eyes back to McGonagall who was still droning on about…well, Transfiguration, likely, though she had her eyes trained on you.
Dammit. You’d been caught.
Your brain had been working in overdrive to keep your eyes glued to the professor that by the time class had ended, you realised you had been clenching your fists so hard that you’d created crescent shape indents in the palm of your hands.
“Miss. Potter, a word?”
Oh, Godric.
You heard a few classmates snicker again as you moved towards the professor with your tail tucked between your legs.
“It appears I had a difficult time capturing your attention today?” She asked; eyes and tone holding her same intensity, but a small uptilt in the corner of her mouth.
“I’m sorry, Professor. I assure you it’s not you; I just-”
“You’re a bright girl, Y/N, and I am quite aware that this level of Transfiguration may very well be below your level of capabilities, but I cannot allow you to set a precedent for daydreaming in my class. I have a reputation to uphold, afterall.”
“Yes, Professor.” You agreed readily.
“Just try to daydream less obviously, okay Miss. Potter?” She offered you gently with a soft smirk.
“Of course, Professor. I’m sorry, thank you.” You sputtered before you were rushing out of the room with what felt like a furious blush at being so clearly transparent in your restlessness.
Professor McGonagall was being patient with you but you doubted she understood you at all; you doubted she’d ever been anything but the dutiful, attentive witch that she is today. Her knee probably ever bounced under the table, her nail beds were probably never shredded, she probably never had to be called on in class because her mind was so clearly elsewhere.
A sense of shame surged through you at that; you weren’t doing enough yet you were still too much.
You knew James had a similar experience to you but it was different for him.
It was different because he was the enthusiastic, charismatic Gryffindor quidditch captain who exuded joy and excitement.
It was different because boys were supposed to be energetic and boisterous.
“You need to sit still, behta’; this is not lady like.” Your auntie had scolded you as you and James raced around cousin Aparna’s wedding ceremony.
You had been having fun - both you and James - before then. Neither of you understood why the fun had to stop, least of all why it was okay for James but not for you.
It set a precedent.
It coloured every area of your life growing up; laugh, but not as loudly as James. Joke, but not as often as James. Shine, but not as bright as James.
And despite all of that, you never blamed him; he never discouraged you from being anyone but yourself.
You loved that about James, though, he seemed to have enough love for everybody, even if they had a hard time loving themselves.
You wish you could be more like that.
Be more like James, but not as much as James.
Fuck, this was exhausting.
You hadn’t realised how fast your mind had been racing until you were standing outside of the boys dormitory in Gryffindor tower chewing aggressively on your lips as you picked away the skin of your nail beds.
You shouldn’t bother them; you were too much.
Too much, too much, too much.
They already had James to deal with; James was enough.
He was a lot, but not like you.
He was a lot, but never too much.
And he was there first; he was their friend first.
And maybe Sirius was having a good day? Maybe he’d been having a good day and then you’d be showing up and ruining it.
Ruining it by being too much.
No, you shouldn’t be here. Perhaps you should leave.
But you couldn’t bring your legs to move fast enough before the door was being yanked open and Peter nearly crashed into you.
“Whoa, Y/N. I’m sorry! Merlin, you scared me.”
“I’m sorry, Pete.” You offered quickly. “I was just leaving.”
“Oh, hey bug!” James called from the room, leaning over on his bed so he could see you around Peter’s frame.
“Hey Jamie.” You called quietly, acquiescing to Peter’s extended arm as he invited you into the room.
Sirius sat up at the sound of your arrival, putting his book beside him on his bed while he smiled at you.
His smile faltered a tad when he saw the state of you, however.
You shouldn’t be here.
“Hey gorgeous.” Sirius offered softly. “How was your day?”
You looked over at Remus who was looking at you sympathetically, and James who was looking at you worriedly.
“It was okay, how about yours?”
“Better now that you’re here.” He responded salaciously, offering you a wink when you visibly flushed at the attention.
“Prongs, why don’t we go see what Lily’s up to?” Remus offered pointedly, standing to gather his homework and nudging James in the side.
“Great idea! I’ve been wanting to try out this new charm I learned that turns everything around us the colour of her hair. It’s so gorgeous - her hair, that is - don’t you think? I’ve never seen anything like it, Moony. I want everything I own to be that same shade of auburn. Would I look good wearing auburn? You know what, don’t answer that; I don’t want to know. I was also thinking-” James’ voice trailed off as Remus and Peter shared a knowing look behind James’ back and followed him out the dormitory door before closing it behind them.
You turned back to see Sirius looking at you intently; his expression so soft that you weren’t sure any of his friends had seen the likes of it before.
“Can I have a hug?” Sirius asked, opening his arms in invitation which you readily accepted.
You had barely dropped your book bag before you were all but cradled in Sirius’ arms; the tension immediately oozing out of your bones as you melted into him.
“Was today a Too Much day?” He asked as he pushed some hairs away from your face before moving his thumb to pull your bottom lip out from between your teeth.
“I was Too Much today.” You corrected, immediately embarrassed at the stinging in your eyes and sinuses.
Sirius quickly tsked in disapproval as he placed his free hand between your hands; his other which was supporting your weight sitting on your elbow as his thumb rubbed circles against your joint. “You’re never too much, my love.”
You let out a heavy sigh as you turned your face towards his chest, bringing his hand up towards your mouth as you fiddled with the various rings on his finger.
“You know that, right?” He asked at your silence, pressing a gentle ‘boop’ with his finger to your chin. “You know you’re not too much?”
“I was too much in Transfiguration. I was too much for McGonagall.”
“Did she say that to you?”
“It appears I had a difficult time capturing your attention today?”
“I cannot allow you to set a precedent for daydreaming in my class. I have a reputation to uphold, afterall.”
“Just try to daydream less obviously, okay Miss. Potter?”
“No…” You admitted quietly, brushing the pads of Sirius’ fingers against your lips as you thought back to class.
“No.” Sirius agreed; knowing that had been true before he’d even asked. “Because if there was anyone who was Too Much for McGonagall, it’d be me.”
You chuckled then, finally bringing your eyes to meet Sirius’ striking grey one’s as he looked down at you.
“You’re not too much, baby; you’re perfect.”
“You’re perfect.” You countered.
“You’re a liar.”
You shook your head as you removed one of your hands from Sirius’ to place it on his jaw, relishing in the contented sigh that escaped his lips as he leaned into your touch.
“Perfect.” You reiterated.
He smiled and looked to be fighting against an eye roll before leaning down to press a kiss to your hairline.
“We’re perfect for each other, yeah?” He conceded.
“Yeah.” You agreed readily.
“And girlfriend or not, I will fight you for the title of McGonagall’s Too Much, got it? I’ve put years of blood, sweat, and tears into that honour and I will not let you take that from me.”
You let out a boisterous laugh as you took a deep stretch, feeling the last tendrils of tension seep from your body before turning back towards Sirius. “Fine, but I want to keep the title of Flitwick’s Too Much.”
“Deal.”
“Great.” You smiled.
“Perfect.” Sirius whispered.
Yes… yes he was.
#marauders era#marauders au#marauders fanfiction#reader insert#self insert#sirius black#sirius black x reader#sirius black x you#sirius orion black#sirius black fic#sirius black blurb#Sirius Black imagine#sirius black ficlet#potter!reader#fem!reader#hurt/comfort#fluff#ellecdc fics
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10 Things I Love About Triage
I am extraordinarily late to this party but I am here to scream about Triage, a show which I started on a whim after a stray comment from @incandescentflower and subsequently finished in two sittings. This drama has been on my list forever (I didn't watch it live because the distribution was wacky) and then it just kept getting overlooked as I fought to keep up with the deluge of Thai BL coming at us at all times. But I am very glad I finally hunted it down and made the time and I would like to tell you why!
Hello Again, Dr. Sammon
I am on record as a Sammon fan. She is one of the best writers working in Thai BL and she has a knack for mystery and suspense. Her narratives are always really well constructed with tight plotting and smart character work, and Triage is no exception. This story feels confident, steady, and complete in a way few Thai BLs do.
The time travel rules are blessedly consistent
Part of what makes the story sing is it's a time travel plot that actually gets the particulars right. In a time loop, the details are everything, and this show understands that. The series of events are consistent, the rules of the time travel mechanics are clearly explained, and when our protagonists learn something new, it always lines up with something we'd gotten hints about before or gives us new context for old information. There are no loose threads in this show.
My boy Tin is going through it
Tin is a fantastic protagonist. He starts the show disillusioned with his work and hilariously grumpy about this time loop situation--he is a busy ER doctor and he does not have time for this--but as he starts to piece together how the loop works he gets more methodical in his approach, and eventually becomes emotionally invested in his mission to save Tol. Tin felt really well-calibrated in that he was smart and he tried all the things you would be shouting at the screen for him to try, but he's still a human being with flaws and insecurities and so he makes mistakes, learns, and has to try again. The show really successfully put us in the frustration with him.
Tol makes for an interesting damsel
Because he's kind of an asshole! Tol is rude and disrespectful when he first meets Tin, he hangs around with some truly awful bullies, he treats Rit like garbage, and he's all around an arrogant dick. Until he isn't. I like the choice to make the focus of our mission such a difficult character, not only because it makes Tin's challenge that much harder, but also because it invites us to consider the reasons why someone might be behaving the way he is and whether they can be redeemed.
This show has everything: action, romance, and agony
It's truly an emotional rollercoaster all the way through, and you can't relax for a moment. The pacing is relentless through most of the show, and even as a bond develops between Tin and Tol and they begin a tentative romance, danger is lurking around every corner. As soon as these boys started making out in episode 9 I knew something awful was coming for me and IT SURE DID.
Jinta, the ultimate frenemy
On that note let's talk about Jinta, my nemesis!! Jinta is some kind of unspecified deity/whimsical god and the one who appears to be responsible for putting Tin and Tol in this loop. Is he trying to help them? Is he trying to torture them? I definitely think it's both! He seems to delight in showing up to taunt Tin as he struggles to figure out how to get through to Tol, and when it's Tol's turn on the merry-go-round he sends him to the darkest timeline for his high stakes final attempt to save Tin just because he can. I love/hate you, sir!
Sing and Gap and the darkest timeline
Speaking of which, can we talk about how appropriate it is that Sing and Gap are a couple only in the darkest timeline? I don't know if people were shipping this for real during the live watch, but I definitely was not and so I started cackling when we got to the worst possible timeline and Sing was suddenly calling Gap his boyfriend. Sammon, you are hilarious and I salute you.
Fantastic side characters
Let's talk about the sides I did love. First of all, aside from his weird aggressive flirting/not flirting thing with Gap, I actually did like Sing's friendship with Tin a lot. I also loved the hospital gang who were around to alternately tease and help Tin, most especially Toy and Fang. Toy is a sweetheart and a gossip who never misses a trick, and Fang is an actual badass who first cracked the case with that evil doctor and saved Tin's life. They are fabulous. Rit was also an excellent character with a lot of complexity and he added some much needed depth to the school storyline (does anyone else think he was basically the proto-DFF Non?). And while Mai and Heart were not my favorite people, I did appreciate that the show gave them a sympathetic portrayal instead of making them evil villains (we had the organ harvesters for that).
That beautiful clocktower
I must give a shoutout to this gorgeous clocktower featured in several important scenes. I got so excited every time it showed up. Fun fact: in the first clocktower scene I was like oh hey I recognize that from gifs, but it can't be that scene because it's too early for a kis--TIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING! (I was right, it was too early for a kiss and Tol was Big Mad but bless you for going for it anyway, Tin).
The romance is balanced and rootable
And on that note, let me give a shoutout to the romance part of this story for actually feeling balanced. This is not an epic swoony love affair, but more a story of two people putting in the time to understand and empathize with each other. Sometimes in these kind of time loop stories the romance can end up feeling very one-sided because one character is holding all the knowledge and all the cards. But in this show we have the neat trick of Tol taking over the loop to try to save Tin in the final arc, which means he got to go through a similar process of getting to know the darkest version of his lover and figuring out how to get through to him. I was delighted by all the events of the long loop playing out again, but this time with Tin being the obstinate one. Tol got a taste of his own medicine and it left me feeling like they were both equally invested in this relationship.
TL;DR: If you haven't watched this yet, you really should! It's a fast binge and a great time with some Thai BL favorites. It's unfortunately still not available for international streaming, but it's very easy to find grey now and it's worth the effort. Go forth!
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Best Friend's Boyfriend (NSFW)
Synopsis: You and Jack run in the same circle of friends, and you both have feelings for each other but are scared to admit them. Your best friend knows how much you like him and swears that he doesn't like you back. Instead of helping you to ask Jack out on a date, she starts to date him all in a plan to make you jealous. But you get the last laugh in the end.
Pairing: Jack Harlow x Best Friend!Reader
Requested by: an amazing anon 💕
Do not engage if you are underage
Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere
A sigh escaped your lips as you took another swig of your drink and looked over to your left and rolled your eyes.
She was all over him.
Again.
Her being your “friend” Skylar.
Him being one of your close friends, Jack.
You and Jack had been friends since you met in middle school at the age of eleven and you didn't meet Skylar until you moved to Atlanta with Jack.
Your entire group of friends decided to spend a week in Denver staying at an expensive top of the line cabin since it had been awhile since you all had seen one another.
Well since they had seen you.
In the back of your mind, you were debating on if you were going to leave and cut your trip short because you weren't quite sure how much more you could take.
Recently, you and Skylar had spent some time together when you confessed to her in confidence that you saw Jack more than a friend, but you weren't quite sure if he felt the same way towards you.
So what did she do?
Go out on a date with him despite your feelings and they had been together for the past two months.
After that occurred, you distanced yourself from the both of them and when Jack would try to invite you somewhere, you steadily declined. He had been missing you and was very excited when you said yes when he asked you to come to Denver.
However, the only reason that you agreed was because you had been told Skylar would not be in attendance. So when you arrived, you immediately wanted to walk back out the door and go home.
Even though she was all over him, Jack looked uninterested, but your thoughts were interrupted by Urban coming to sit next to you. Besides Skylar, he was the only one who knew how you felt about Jack.
Urban had told you time and time again to tell him, but being as shy as you were, you decided against it.
“You okay? If I would’ve known…”
“It's fine, Urby. Don't worry about it. Just have to make the best of it I guess.” You replied while shrugging.
“If it makes you feel any better, Jack is not as interested in her as she thinks he is. Probably won't last too much longer.”
“But it’s the fact that she calls herself my friend and then goes behind my back and….”
Urban immediately cut you off.
“She's not your friend. Friends don't do what she did.”
“I have a feeling that she used me to get to him. Urban, you know I’m quiet and wouldn't harm a fly. She took advantage of that.” You confessed as you poured yourself another glass of some wine that Jack had bought for you since he knew red was your favorite. It was a new brand that you had never tried before.
“I know, but karma's a bitch. She’ll get hers.”
“And it seems as if she doesn't care. She acts like nothing happened between us. How? How can she do that? I told her how I felt and…”
“Tell him how you feel. That's who matters in all this anyway.” Your eyes went wide at Urban's suggestion and you quickly shook your head no.
“I guarantee you that it will go better than you think. He really misses you.”
Before you could have a chance to respond, Jack made his way over to the both of you and picked you up and brought you into a hug.
Urban simply smirked as he looked behind you and Jack to see Skylar rolling her eyes at the scene in front of her.
The one thing that Urban didn't tell you was the fact that Jack liked you as well. Jack thought the feelings weren't reciprocated and when Skylar approached him to ask him out on a date, he figured why not?
Even though he had been around her for a few years because of you two being friends, he didn't notice that something was off until he had spent more time with her when it was just the two of them. He often talked about you, but all Skylar would do is talk down about you and that was one thing he put a stop to immediately.
He didn't know why he kept her around for so long, but quickly made a decision that when this trip was over, he was done with her. He had a feeling that was why you would decline when he asked you to hang out with him. He also noticed how the two of you seemed to have drifted apart within the last year, and not just recently.
However, Urban didn't like her from the moment you introduced her to them.
“I missed you.” Jack said as he whispered in your ear before hugging you tighter and you immediately melted into his arms.
“I missed you too, bubs.”
“I have you for an entire week and I'm definitely taking advantage of it. Did you like the wine I got for you? I know red is your favorite and my mom said that you might like it.”
“It's really good and I'm definitely getting a few bottles when we get back home. Thanks for thinking of me.”
“Always.” Jack said as his hands rested on your waist and he quickly reached up and poked your nose making you laugh.
A minute later Sunni and Cope came through the front door with bags of food since no one had wanted to cook when you all had gotten there and set them on the counter in the kitchen. All of you decided to simply relax the first night and then do different things around Denver for the remainder of the time that you were there.
“Finally! I'm starving!” Exclaimed Urban who was hot on their trail.
You and Jack laughed and it looked like he wanted to tell you something before Skylar had called his name.
One thing you did notice was him sighing when she did it, wondering what that was about.
“Babe! Can you fix my plate and bring it to me!?”
“Sure.” Jack said quietly, but he still had his eyes on you.
“We’ll continue this later.” He said as he leaned down to whisper it and you immediately nodded.
—
“What movie are we watching?” You asked as everyone had gotten their food and made their way back into the living room.
“Y/N! Come and sit by me.” Skylar piped up and said and you looked at her confused. Jack was hoping that you would say yes while Urban stifled a laugh once he saw the look on your face.
“Sorry, Urban already asked me.” You answered without missing a beat and going to sit next to him.
“The Nun!” Cope suggested and you knew for a fact that you would probably have to sleep in Urban's room if everyone agreed on that.
“I’m not watching any scary shit. Next.” Sunni said and Cope rolled his eyes.
“Bad Boys 3! The next one is coming out in a few months.” Jack said as he was scrolling through his phone.
“I still can't believe he slapped Chris Rock.”
“I don't see how anyone finds him funny anyway.” You said remembering all the movies that you had seen him in.
You had fallen asleep during every single one.
“I second that. When it first happened, I thought it was a joke.”
“Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.”
Jack glanced over at Skylar who was now downing another wine cooler and he noticed that she hadn't stopped drinking since they had gotten there earlier in the day.
“Uhh Skylar, do you want me to get you some water?” He asked concerned and she quickly turned up her nose at him.
“For what? If I wanted it, I would have gotten it.”
“I was just asking.” Jack replied as he held his hands up in defense and you quickly rolled your eyes.
One thing Skylar could not do was hold her liquor. It would go one of two ways, her crying and throwing up, or her being knocked out for hours. You were hoping it was the latter so you would be able to have Jack to yourself for a while.
—
The movie had finally ended and Skylar having gotten drunk off her ass was now passed out on the couch which you weren't surprised by. However, you were caught off guard when Jack asked you to help take her upstairs.
“Um, sure.”
You weren't quite sure exactly what you were helping with since Jack could easily carry her but said yes anyway.
He told you to go first up the steps as he slung Skylar easily over his shoulder. You couldn't wait to go to sleep yourself in the hopes of tomorrow being a better day for you.
All Jack did was lay her on the bed and once you turned around to leave, he caught your hand.
“Y/N?”
“Yeah? What's wrong?” You asked after growing suddenly concerned.
Jack held your hand for a few minutes before opening his mouth and responding to you.
“I… should have never said yes to going on a date with her when I knew that you were the person that I wanted. I didn't know if you felt the same way so the easiest thing to do was to distract myself.”
Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest before it suddenly felt as if it had dropped down to your stomach.
“It wasn't supposed to be like this and I quickly learned that she only wants me because of what my name is attached to. I don't like her as a person at all. Now I see what Urb was talking about.”
“Jack….”
“Let me finish. You know she's a heavy sleeper and the last thing she is about to do is wake up. I've liked you since I met you but was entirely too scared to say anything.”
“I… I told Skylar how I felt about you and instead of helping me figure out a way to approach you about it, she goes and asks you out for herself. She continues to act like nothing happened as if we're still close but that was…. Friends don't do what she did.”
You felt as if a weight had been lifted off your chest once everything was finally out in the open.
“So that's why you've been avoiding me for two months?” Jack asked as he pinched your cheek.
“I didn't want to, but I felt as if distance was best.”
You said as you shrugged.
“Do me a favor?”
“Anything.”
“Never do that again.”
“I won’t. Promise.”
You turned to walk away once more when Jack had suddenly stopped you and captured you in a kiss catching you off guard. You eagerly kissed him back and the two of you were in a full blown makeout session when Jack's hand snuck under your shirt. He smiled when he came to the realization that you weren't wearing a bra.
“I need this off of you.” He said as he massaged your left breast and kissed down your neck.
“But… she's right there.”
“So, what's your point babe? I know you want this just as much as I do. But just say the word if you want me to stop.”
Jack was met with silence and he easily got your shirt off in one swift movement as he laughed and kissed the shell of your ear.
“I didn't think so.”
Jack's hand quickly reached into your shorts and began to rub small circles along your clit and he simply smirked noticing how wet you were.
“Mmm, all of that for me, huh?” He asked as he moved his fingers up to his mouth to taste you.
All you could do was eagerly nod as he cupped your face to kiss you once more.
“You taste so good, but I want more. I need you to do something for me, pretty girl.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Go and lay on the bed.”
“I..”
“Keep quiet and don't make a sound because I’ll stop. Lay on the bed and I'm going to fuck you right next to her.”
Your adrenaline was pumping at the thought of getting caught, but the last thing you were going to tell Jack was no. Slipping off your shorts, you did as you were told as you noticed Skylar had rolled to the other side of the bed and let out a loud snore as Jack quickly undressed and began stroking himself while peering down at you making your mouth water.
Jack then climbed on top of you leaving a trail of kisses down your body until he got to your most prized possession and spread your legs apart and he took one long lick making you gasp.
“Shh, stay quiet for me. Look how pretty this pussy is.”
Your hand instantly went over your mouth in an attempt to keep quiet as Jack pleasured you. He then inserted two of his fingers as he sucked on your clit. A moan escaped your mouth for a quick second, but you quickly recovered in the hopes of not waking Skylar up.
“You taste so good, baby. I can't wait until you cum all over my face.”
Not trusting your voice because you knew the second your mouth opened that a moan would escape, you eagerly nodded your head as you started to roll your nipples in between your fingers as Jack continued to give you his undivided attention.
You didn't know how much time had passed, but Jack had made you release all over his face multiple times before you slowly felt him slide into you. The sensation made you gasp and he quickly kissed you to make sure you stayed quiet.
Your arms instantly went around his neck as he began to increase his pace. Jack had taken one of your nipples in his mouth when you felt Skylar move. You know Jack felt it too, but all he did was bite down which he knew was going to lead to you squirming. Once he lifted his head back up, he smirked at you before continuing to pound into you.
“You’re taking me so well, pretty girl.”
“Jack…” That was the first time you had moaned his name all night which quickly gave him an ego boost as it escaped from your lips.
“I’m…..”
“Close? Me too. Come on then, baby. Cum for me, cum all over this dick that's rightfully yours.”
That was all it took as you reached your peak with Jack then releasing all over your chest and stomach.
All that could be heard was heavy breathing as both of you were trying to catch your breath. Jack was still hovering over you and leaned down to kiss you as his fingers started to slowly rub small circles along your clit once more. He quickly heard your whimpers and smirked.
“Hmm, didn't take you for a girl who would fuck her best friend's boyfriend.”
“All she did was keep my spot warm until I could rightfully take my place. Now it's my turn. Lay down and let me ride you.” You said as you leaned up to kiss him.
#jack harlow#jack harlow fic#jack harlow concepts#jack harlow x reader#jack harlow x black reader#jack harlow fanfic#jack harlow fluff#jack harlow imagine#jack harlow smut#jack harlow imagines#jack harlow fanfiction
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mickey would do the trend of texting your S/O something dirty while at a family event
oh I agree.
-> NSFW
it's family movie night, and mickey's bored. he usually likes carl's suggestions, but for some reason he just can't find fucking fast and furious 2 interesting. vin diesel isn't even in it. sure, Paul walker's okay, but he looks like a goody-two-shoes.
no one minds when he starts flipping through his phone.
for once, mickey's on the armchair, not the couch, with Ian on the couch where he has a better view of the TV. while mickey has a great view of Ian.
he scrolls through TikTok, sound down. god, the app is really addictive.
and then he finds the perfect thing to get rid of his boredom.
he flips over to his text chat with Ian.
usually, they don't need to send dirty texts. they're together all the time, why would they?
now seems the best time to start.
he thinks about what to type to get the best reaction, and settles on
m: if we were home rite now, id suck ur dick until I choke
he smirks as he sends it, and has to contain his grin when ian's phone buzzes. mickey watches as Ian sips his beer, eyes half on the movie and only darting quickly to his phone. ian's not very good at keeping his cool, spluttering a little and coughing slightly when he swallows the beer in his mouth. Ian looks up at him, part glare part interest. mickey grins back.
m: wld have to go real deep in my throat to make me choke
m: im sure that won't b a problem 4 u
he types out and sends.
ian's reaction is to scowl at mickey and he can see him typing swiftly.
I: what are you doing
is all he says.
I: nothing, just explainin what imma do wen we get home
mickey responds, trying to look innocent as he does
m: you don't want your dick sucked?
m: i'll just ride u into the couch then
he watches as Ian takes a deep breath
I: you need to stop
Mickey smirks again.
m: don't what that either?
m: u wanna pound me from behind?
m: shoving my head down into the mattress?
ian's leg starts bouncing, and mickey's so sadistically happy.
I: watch the movie
urgh, and ian's still playing hard to get. even though he can see how badly he's effecting him
m: rather watch u
m: love watching ur face when I deep throat
m: such a big fucking cock
m: make it poke out of my cheek so u can see it
Ian bites his lip at that, trying hard to keep composure.
I: ur an asshole
m: u wanna see my asshole?
m: wrapped around ur dick?
and that's enough, apparently, because ian's getting up.
"there's an emergency at work, me and mickey have to go." Ian tells them, grabbing mickey's arm and pulling him from the chair.
"what? a weed delivery emergency?" lip scoffs, disbelieving.
"yup." Ian says in the worst lying voice ever.
Debbie glares at them as they pull on their coats, taking notice of mickey's proud, self-satisfied grin. "you guys better stay for the whole thing next movie night."
"sure thing, debs." Ian smiles, and then pulls mickey out of the door by his elbow.
once they're well and truly out of the house, almost at the car, Ian leans in to whisper in mickey's ear. "you're doing all that shit the second we get home."
fuck yes, toktik clock app is actually good for something.
I don't usually write NSFW, but I hope this met expectations!
-> send me prompts for TikTok trends <3
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Love Sea (Episode 1): Tongrak's Striking Sensitivity
I'm really intrigued by Tongrak's characterisation so far. He's more openly sensitive than I had pictured. Yes, there's some unyielding arrogance, but it's often coupled with noticeable self-doubt - which is what really has my attention. This is not the confident, suave, uppity writer I anticipated from the trailers.
Peat has a talent for conveying fragility. And there's something about Tongrak that feels distinctly helpless. It's early days but there were a couple moments in Episode 1 I felt were worth dissecting.
Shaken but not Stirred?
"Don't you feel anything at all? Not a single bit?" "My charm didn't work? Someone like me failed?" Tongrak is upset when he thinks Mut isn't enticed by him sexually (though we see this isn't the case later).
"Don't you feel anything at all when I look down on you?" He says again when he tries to get under Mut's skin by refusing every dish he brings to the table. When Mut doesn't respond in the way he'd hoped, Tongrak falters, deflates, and is agitated by how unbothered Mut appears to be. Mut isn't easily ruffled, riled or offended. He takes everything in his stride. Nothing Tongrak has said or done has deterred him from doing his job.
To me, there's an undertone of shame in many of Tongrak's reactions, which funnily enough Mut makes a point of saying "Ever since you've got here, you've only displayed two faces. Arrogant and embarrassed." What is Tongrak embarrassed about? Could it be:
Why do I feel so powerless in my ability to affect and control the situation/people around me?
Why do I have so little purchase over my own feelings? Why can't I be more cool/collected, indifferent or nonchalant?
Each time Tongrak gets flustered, it seems to be because 'things are not going the way that I want them to.' Which is interesting when you consider the appeal of being a writer. The very profession that allows you to take control of the narrative into your own hands.
Expect the Unexpected
Tongrak is clearly shaken up when he thinks Mut has fallen off the boat. He accuses Mut of playing with him, that perhaps this was an appalling joke at his expense. The fact that Mut warned Tongrak moments ago not to lean too close to the side, proves he isn't the type to do so. No matter how you look at it, Tongrak's accusatory tone is surprising, considering how little he knows of Mut at present.
Because this is MAME, I don't want to always assume there's trauma involved, but it definitely comes across that way. I think the average person would probably go 'Jesus Christ, you scared me, I thought you'd fallen in, thank god you're alright!', rather than 'Is it fun messing with me like that? Do you want to see me die from a heart attack?" It makes me wonder if Tongrak has some form of survivor's guilt or has been witness to a life in danger before, where he was powerless to help them.
You can also consider his reaction through the lens of shame (feeling exposed) by getting so worked up in the first place. He panics. He cries. Maybe he feels like he's made a fool out of himself and wildly over-reacted. Even more so when Mut always seems to be so calm, rational and level-headed in his presence. He's angry at Mut for not giving him a heads up before going into the water, but he also seems upset at himself for reacting so intensely as well.
Tongrak doesn't seem to deal well with situations that don't go as planned. Especially when it subsequently causes a reaction in him that is perhaps a bit more revealing than he'd ideally like. His sensitivity to and in almost all things appears to be his undoing.
This is just my attempt to extrapolate my thoughts on Tongrak from this episode, which really had my gears turning. The two points above may or may not be related at all. I can tell there's going to be tonne to unpack in the coming weeks.
You can check out bird-inacage’s BL meta directory for all my other posts around Love Sea.
#love sea#love sea the series#no novel spoilers pls!#love sea meta#tongrak x mahasamut#rakmut#fortpeat#fort thitipong#peat wasuthorn#i just want to give him a cuddle#he just looks so lost all the time#peat is superb at vulnerability
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So how old is Odysseus exactly?
A small Odysseus age analysis based on a description in the Iliad
Many make speculations of his age, me included. Interestingly we have several hints in both art and the scripts but is hard to pinpoint. In general Odysseus is considered old or one of the oldest generations among the poems.
In art he is always depicted bearded which is something only men in maturity have in ancient greek art (somewhere between the late 20s early 30s) and his beard is full indicating that he is at least in his 30s. Most art of his, ranges from the events of the Trojan war till his journey and the murder of the suitors. In all cases we see him having a full beard. So it is pretty hard to determine his age but we know he was at least 30 in the war making him at his final 40s or early 50s when he comes back home depending on interpretation.
In the Iliad in the 23rd rhapsody/book we have an interesting description by Antilochus
"And this one (Odysseus) is of an earlier/previous generation of earlier men; we call him "omogeronda" (early-old man, green old age); yet he is really hard to be competed against in speed (lit: his feet are troublesome to compete) by the Achaeans, except from Achilles"
For starters he clearly states that he is "one generation older" (προτέρης γενεής) but he also calls him with the interesting word "ωμογέρων" which means "raw old man" literally aka "not ripe old age". The word has two possible interpretations; one that he is a "green old man" aka he just began to grow older or to pass to old age and two "a vigorous and lively old man" 😉
Now it could be a tender nickname that they call him "old" but I think the first interpretation fits better to the description. So we know that Odysseus was already mature man when he entered the war (bearded=somewhere in his early 30s and above) and he spent 10 years in the war. We know that he is "one generation older".
The age of marriage differs in ancient greece (for example in 5th century BC Athens, 300 years after Homer's time and almost 1000 years after the time Trojan war took place, the age of marriage for men ideally was 30 years old when they had served their dues although it is unclear how often it was being done this way) but we are to expect that a man in his middle 20s was expected to have at least considered marriage if not already have a spouse and kids. So if Odysseus is "one generation older" on average he is around 20 years older than younger individuals (anywhere between 15-20 years could be closer) such as Diomedes or Antilochus here or Aias. Nestor who was considered an old man was in his 60s. He was still active on the field just not the same way as characters like Odysseus were.
Given the characterization "ωμογέρων" in the Odyssey and the description of him being a generation older than many young heroes I should calculate Odysseus is in the same age group as people like Agamemnon, making him older than other characters like Patroclus who was also generally older (closer to his early or even middle 30s if we assume that Achilles who was repeatedly said to be very young he was in his middle to final 20s during the war). That would make Odysseus a middle aged man and therefore closer in his 40s at the final year of the Trojan war.
My rough estimation is that he is in his early or mid-40s when this conversation takes place. He is middle-aged and yet he is vigorous, sportive and fast (so much so that only Achilles is said to be easily competing against him while most achaeans have hard time to), he is also strong given the many times his strength in spear, sword or bow were praised but at the same time he is obviously past the age of youth. That would make him in his early 50s at least when he arrives in Ithaca.
But what do you guys think? Agree or disagree let me know to the comments below! ^_^
#odysseus#greek mythology#the odyssey#odyssey#iliad#the iliad#tagamemnon#odysseus age#homer#homeric odysseus is just its own thing!#homeric poems#homer's odysseus#homeric epics#just a homeric poem writer and enthusiast#homer iliad#homer odyssey#the odyssey 1997#the odyssey 1968#homer's iliad#homer's odyssey#odysseus is lowkey the protagonist of all epic cycle
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Kingsroad: The Sword for the Crown
We assume that The Knight of Dawn was forgotten by history because we haven't heard about him until recently in Book 7: Part 5. But, what if that is not the case? What if his story was passed down orally? What if Princess Leah lived and that's how his story was told?
And it was right in front of us all along? Specifically in Rook's Endless Halloween card, as can be seen below.
I talked to Mumble, @irafuwas, about this and isn't the lyrics rather interesting and very reminiscent of the Knight of Dawn?
King of a Land, Knights that he led were capable, fact that Lilia is singing and telling this story to Malleus. The parallels with Lilia, who's also in history books. (Altered as we know now, in this case, it might apply to KOD as well since we don't know much about him yet.)
Rook never mentions his name, but as we don't know the King's name, we also do not know the Knight of Dawn's (please tell us soon twst devs). This song symbolizes the Knight of Dawn from his hardships to his contributions to his kingdom.
On a further note, look at the lyrics. Those lyrics can apply to the KOD but they can also apply to Silver.
Hear me out. There is a sword in RSA. What if that is the KOD sword? And the one who pulls it out is Silver?
There are many connections of the lyrics with Silver: he's KOD's son, Silver has the sword symbolism, and the title also is "Kingroad: The Sword for the Crown," It can have two meanings here. Silver, who is the prince of a fallen kingdom, but he's also The King's Sword. The Sword of the Crown (Malleus' Sword).
Additionally, Silver has fought in land, the dream squad has been traveling by air In the dream world and I wouldn't be surprised if we fight Malleus in the air if we have a fight with his dragon form. We might even fight in water in Octa dream chapter thus fulfilling the lyrics in this musical. (As if it is a prophecy, as if it was foretold, who else do we know that can "see" the future? 👀)
Let's also think about Silver as a character. The current struggle can be considered a King's road, trying to bring back Malleus to his senses. Also, Silver as the Sword for the Crown, does this not also remind you of Silver's determination? His embrace and renewed dedication to Malleus and Lilia. He wants to be a knight and he's more determined than ever to bring a smile back to Malleus' and Lilia's faces.
Now let's talk about Princess Leah and her role. It was never confirmed she died, but that she ran away when the castle was being invaded.
What if Princess Leah lived and helped founded the RSA and helped pass on the memories of her kingdom. After all, we don't know much about the curriculum of RSA nor do we know who they look up too. With the Inter-School SpellDrive possibly being in Book 8? We might just get some of the answers we seek.
Moreover, RSA seems to be a newer school especially since General Vanrouge never mentioned RSA. He mentioned NRC but not RSA. Knowing General Vanrouge? Who made fun of NRC's capabilities? Would he not have also made fun of RSA if it existed back then?
According to Book 5, Ambrose mentions that if they win the inter-school tournament in May, it would be their 100th victory. So the school is at least 100 years old.
This tournament is also in May, and do you know who else's birthday is in May? Silver's, the one who this musical has such great ties with. It also brings into thought, Silver was recently found and woken up, he's 17. What we know now from Lilia's dream world, the treaty with the humans was signed around the time Silver was found. All of this has some interesting timing. 👀
(maybe it took so long because of the treaty negotiations, because it takes time to found a school and their dorms, maybe Ambrose's ancestors plays a role since we saw those animals in part 5 of Book 7, but you have to admit; the timing is all suspicious, especially considering that the dark mirror has been picking students since only a hundred years ago. 👀)
If I extrapolate even more, we saw RSA students using wands like how the “Fairy Godmother” does. If the Fairy Godmother is an actual fae and a diurnal one at that, would that not be another connection?
We know KOD was blessed by a diurnal fae and we saw Silver was put to sleep by them too. Wouldn’t it be interesting if RSA was somehow connected to diurnal faes? Especially given the fact that Silver took part in the Fairy Gala If Event with said type of faes? An event where he wishes for all races to live in harmony?
This card is also interesting because we have Rook, Idia, and Malleus in it. Characters we have seen recently in Book 7 part 8. Who are talking about kings, knights, and history. Topics that have been emphasized in both gameplay lessons and in Book 7.
Geographically, Briar Valley is considered "North" in the twst world map. The king in the musical ruled a small northern country. Meleanor's castle could also apply here could it not? After it was taken over?
Recently, we have also seen an emphasis on music and dance and its importance. Giving us more clues to focus on this tidbit of lore. Importances in cards such as Ace's Endless Halloween Card, this Rook card, Malleus' Glorious Masquerade, Silver's Platinum Bday. (Events and characters who might/have play a important role in the future)
History being passed down orally usually has some ties with music and dance. Even now, in modern times, such methods are used. With the musical being one of the three greatest in the twst world? It will never be forgotten, so the Knight of Dawn will never be forgotten and will always be loved.
I can't wait until more lore is revealed. I feel many of our questions can be answered when we find out more about RSA, especially in terms of the Knight of Dawn and Princess Leah. I always find it amazing how cards and events from the past still gives us main story hints even now and how intricately laid out the entire twst lore is. It always has me in awe. 😊💞🥰
Translations and Credit to @/mysteryshoptls
#Hana queues#🌺mumble🌺#twst dawn knight#twst silver#twst knight of dawn#malleus draconia#twst princess leah#lilia vanrouge#twst Princess Leia#diasomnia#twisted wonderland#twst book 7#twst rsa#twst theories#twst theory#twisted wonderland theories#twisted wonderland theory#silver vanrouge#twst analysis#twst character analysis#silver twst
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Just curious but what are the WIPs you have brewing up? Can’t wait to see more from you <3
i have so many WIPs at the moment 😭 my current dilemma is having all these ideas but for some reason having no brain power to actually write any of them (except for the last one on this list 👀)
feelings on fire chapter 11 & beyond - i'm in a weird place with fof at the moment. i love these two so much and i have their whole story planned out (even further than you might think) and i do plan on finishing it, but right now it's just not flowing for me. it's affecting my other writing too because i just feel this immense pressure to get it done and because of that, i tend to guilt myself out of working on anything else. it's been a struggle lmao. but i'm trying. i go into the draft whenever i have a little bit of motivation.
darkness hums (next to freeze or to thaw installment) - joel's going on the raid so you're left behind with tommy 👀 i'll get this done eventually lmao i have to be in the right mood to work on this series
beautiful stranger - this is my joel x escort!reader fic that i still feel SO passionate about but haven't finished. featuring an insecure & out of practice joel + lots and lots of joel worship. again, it'll get done, just not sure when.
pick my petals off - THIS fic has been in developmental hell for a long time lmao. dbf!joel, very very pervy and coercive who wants to sleep with you before you go away for college. huge age gap obviously, very filthy. it's actually a series so i haven't had much time to really focus on it. will i ever write it? we'll see lmao
stray animal - can't say too much about this. but. VERY dark fic. kinda fucked up. involves a glory hole. stepdad!joel. we'll see what happens lol
untitled best friend's dad!joel fic - this is my current passion project, i'll be honest. been thinking about it for a long time and would really like to start writing it soon. it's a series though so i'd like to have most - if not all - of it written before i start posting it. it takes place in jackson and you're ellie's best friend. you have a crush on joel, he doesn't see you that way. but then something happens and you end up growing closer, very slowburn. i've also been referring to it as touch starved!reader fic lol. han @swiftispunk has heard alllllllllll about it
imperfect for you - a drabble i'm writing for @janaispunk's 1500 kisses challenge!! it's joel + nose kiss 🥰 hope to have this up soon, it's kinda taken a backseat because i suddenly got inspiration to write something else.....↓
⭐is it that sweet? - this one's coming tonight most likely, so i won't say too much 👀 pervy!joel + the beach ⭐
so yeah. a lot. i mean, this doesn't even include ideas that are only living in my brain rn and not a draft, like a sequel to my boss!dave york fic and a threesome sequel to my frankie fic one of your girls, more of my boyfriend's dad!joel (believe it or not, i do intend to return to these two eventually. i miss them v much), etc. i feel like sometimes readers might think that just because an author hasn't posted for a while they maybe have lost interest in their fics/writing/fandom/etc, but it really couldn't be further from the truth lmao. i have so many ideas and i'm constantly writing things down, it's just actually turning them into fics that i've been struggling with lately. bear with me 💖 and thank you for asking!
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.𖥔 ݁ ˖ THE ART OF REMEMBRANCE
"do you think we're lovers in every universe?"
the vice captain looks at you with amusement reflected in his smile. you hear his soft footsteps first before you feel his hand pat your head. comfortable silence looms between you two—unusual for your late night talks, but a welcome change nonetheless.
hoshina breaks the silence, "just lovers?" he jokes, hands roaming to the back of your waist. he holds you gently and you both sway to a rhythm that only the both of you know
"i'd like to think we're soulmates in every universe there is."
𖥔 SUMMARY: conversations about possible "alternate versions of us" have been the topic of interest that you and your lover hoshina soshiro can't seem to stop thinking about. you both believe that the art of remembrance will tie you two together with a red string.
𖥔 CONTENT: a series of soshiro hoshina (kaiju no. 8) x fem!reader fics where each work is a different au, sfw
𖥔 NOTES: series (ongoing) - updates will take a while (please be patient!), this series is a writing exercise for me but also self-indulgence hehe <3, inspired heavily by other cool series i see for hoshina (please check them out!! they're so good<3) + my friends' ideas (shout out to @misaemores ILY BESTIE!! <33)
chapters under the cut! (last update: 061124)
INDEX (you may read it by order or as oneshots! ૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა)
00. COFFEE TALK
⊹- the rare moments of free time allow you and your boyfriend to talk about anything and everything that comes to mind... at this point, you two might as well be the third division's free podcast! (intro fic; original canon hoshina x reader)
01. BEFORE THE TEA COOLS DOWN
⊹- there are a number of things that hoshina deems delightful. it's the simplicities, really—wielding his sword, picking up his favorite novel, and roaming the streets of town, to name a few. his greatest joy, however, are the moments he gets to spend with you. (bodyguard au! - samurai! hoshina x heir! reader)
02. NO WAY, I WON'T SAY I'M IN LOVE !
⊹- you're the crown prince's mage-slash-overseer, and he's fallen in love with the neighbor kingdom's lovely princess, how wonderful! if only you didn't hate the princess's royal knight with a burning passion. (royal au! - knight! hoshina x knight! reader)
03. A+ FOR EFFORT
⊹- with you and your classmate hoshina constantly switching between rank 1 and rank 2, there's bound to be rumors and bets placed on the class's very own academic rivals. you both wonder how long it'll take for them to realize you two are dating. (college au! - fake academic rivals hoshina x reader)
04. MY GIRL COULD BEAT ME IN A FIGHT !!
⊹- renowned for your impeccable knowledge on classic grim fairy tale horrors and things that go bump in the night, you are a world-class hunter of the supernatural. aside from expelling ghosts from the local town, you also love spending time with your bloodsucking boyfriend. (paranormal au! - vampire! hoshina x hunter! reader)
likes and reblogs are appreciated, but please don’t copy or repost my works!
[series established: 061124]
#💟.series#🎐rimi.works#kaiju no 8 x reader#kn8 x reader#kaiju no. 8#kn8#soshiro hoshina#soshiro hoshina x reader#hoshina soshiro#hoshina soshiro x reader#kaiju no. 8 fluff#hoshina x reader#hoshina fluff
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House of Feanor | A Maia Reader is Interested in Them (Pre-Darkening)
Request: Hey Mina! If you’re ok with it, could you write your headcanons for the house of Feanor having a Maiar interested in them romantically? Pre or Post darkening is fine, whichever is most interesting to you. I know canonically it’s basically unheard of for a Maia to marry an Elf but I think about it frequently because the Ainur fascinate me 💀 - Anon
A/N: I wanted to do post-darkening, but then I realised how angsty I would have made that, so I bailed, plus I was in the mood for fluff. Enjoy!!
˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Feanor
Feanor being the ever so passionate and intriguing figure is more interested in you than you are in him. Furthermore, it wasn’t shocking for him when he discovered that a Maia was interested in him.
He’s literally spending all his time in Aule’s forges, what else to expect? His presence would have you hooked from the very start. The charm, the charisma, his voice, features, everything about him.
The only thing you and he would clash on numerous occasions for, is your love and appreciation towards the Valar, considering them beings who can do no wrong, and his pride and impulsiveness.
Apart from that, you and Feanor spend hours engaging in deep, philosophical discussions about the nature of the world and the secrets of creation. You would even extend your knowledge in creating towards his crafting.
The one thing you would constantly have to put up with (just like Nerdanel) is his fiery temper and hatred towards the rest of his family and Indis. You will forever have to temper his harshness and vocalisation, but also prepare yourself for being shown off and rubbed in his brothers’ faces.
˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Maedhros
When the both of you are together, walking about and basking in the joys of each other’s presence, no one can tell the difference between who is elf and Maia. You both appear as two Maiar due to the ethereal beauty and grace you exert.
He does find solace in your calm and serene presence, given his elder brother’s duties being too much at times and dwelling in a noisy household. With you, he is able to drop his guard and be himself without the need to be on edge.
Most of the time, you spend moments getting to know each other better and explore the realms of emotion and touch since it may be uncommon for you. Maedhros finds joy in teach you how to hold hands or fingers and express your elation, the same way you teach him.
At the same time, you would offer him knowledge, support, and guidance on taking the role of being a leader and role model to his younger brothers. Though, it would take a copious amount of time before you ever get introduced to his family.
He finds your ethereal and otherworldly presence not worth being among his family yet, wants to be a bit selfish and have you to himself for the great part of learning you. Plus, he knows it will be a huge talk around Valinor and his father would talk everyone’s ear off.
˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Maglor
It would only be fair that you and Maglor became interested in one another due to your common love for the arts, your poetry or storytelling and the music. The perfect duo, matchmade in heaven Valinor.
You have been interested in hearing his voice up close and in person which triggered a plethora of emotions, urging you to pursue the minstrel. And now, you both spend your time singing tales and writing stories in your free time, teaching him how to incorporate more magic into his songs.
Being around him means being his inspiration in his art and encouraging him to express his deepest emotions. His household has never known peace since the day you met him and became a frequent visitor.
Maglor holds a deep respect for you as his muse and person of interest, though, he can be partially nervous around you because of your differences and the breath-taking voice you emit which surpasses him. You got a little grumbly Maglor sulking in a corner.
At the same time, he is proud to call you his and dies on the inside with you call him yours. Due to your interactions with him, you are quickly able to navigate emotional and physical intimacy with him, smoothly transitioning into your relationship.
˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Celegorm
He’s loud and hollering that a Maia is interested in him. “Like have you not seen me? I’m the hottest thing since the light of the two trees. Of course they’d fall for someone with irresistible charm like me.”
Seriously, Tyelko is smug at the realisation that he managed to not only be an apprentice of a Vala and have a Maia as an animal companion, but also managed to impress one to have them like him.
It’s hard for him to shut up about how ecstatic he is about you liking him and wanting to be with him. Most of the time you and Tyelko would be alone, which means Huan would also depart, so he can impress you with his charm and knowledge while he takes you on hunts.
This doesn’t mean that he’s going ignore the fact that you are more intelligent than him. Tyelko will drink up every word that pours from your lips like sweet nectar. He will value all the lessons you give him and all the magic you teach him.
At the same time, be prepared to hear him complain about you and Huan always spending time together and ignoring him because he forgets that Huan and you are similar.
˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Caranthir
Initially, he is aloof before he slowly opens up to your patient and understands the nature of wanting to get to know him better. Moryo is stunned that you managed to notice him among the crowd of six other brothers, thus it makes him more appreciative.
With his desire for peace and tranquillity, he would easily find himself in your presence more often than he expected as time graduates. It’s quite an adorable sight to witness you and Moryo navigating with expressing your emotions.
He is grateful your for peaceful presence being about stability due to his love for quiet support. Most of your time spent will be away from his home and more among nature where he can observe you in your element, likewise the same with him.
With his love for fabrics, he would love when you show your interest by accompanying him to shop or gathering unique patterned clothes for him to work with, even expressing an interest to learn.
The most you would have to deal with are his quick outbursts when displeasure kicks in. As a Maia, you would have seen the Valar distraught before, but witnessing it with someone you were interested in brought new waves of emotions. At least you were gentle to guide him to relief.
˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Curufin
You’re probably a Maia of crafts or one that surrounds the elements of this world capable of being moulding into tangible objects. Hence your fascination with Curufin the moment you laid eyes on him.
Like his father, he too is fascinated by the nature of you and your knowledge of lore and craft, seeing a potential ally in his pursuits. Your presence would be of great assistance when it comes to offering insights that would enhance his skills.
Many occasions you two can be found working together on projects as you continue to learn more about each other. And you would come to realise that when engrossed in his craft, you can barely squeeze a response out of him.
He too, has his cold temperament that you would come face to face with on numerous occasions, as well as his ruthless ambitions, which would require you to guide him towards a more balanced goal.
One thing to note is his pride when it comes towards your interest in him; he takes it seriously and prays that what you two have develops into something more. It’s not often he opens up to people, so you coming along like the sunshine in his life is something he would cherish, silently.
˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Amrod and Amras
Let’s say you’re a Maia of adventure, one whose spirit is wild and yearns for tales of far-off places. Amrod and Amras are going to love your presence more than ever, each tailing behind you with eyes and hearts yearning for more.
Together, you and Amrod or Amras would embark on adventures across Valinor into the deep woods and over the mountains, under the hills and around the river bends, telling tales as you go, and teaching them magic tricks (which makes their pranks all the more daring).
Whichever of the twins you are dating, you still get the opportunity to teach them about independence and being their individual, helping them find their identity and take a stand against those who only view them as the same.
There will be lots of fun and playful moments shared between the two of you, while they teach you how to be mischievous so you can play pranks on your fellow Maiar when you return to your sanctuary.
All your time spent around Amrod or Amras will be filled with experiences and endless days of learning new forms of fun. Your relationship will be as though you are two peas in a pod.
˖ ࣪ . ࿐♡˚. Celebrimbor
Like his father and grandfather (because let’s pretend that another Maia wasn’t also interested in him) Tyelpe would be profoundly grateful to learn that a Maia was interested in him and his craftsmanship, wanting to teach and learn alongside him.
You both would spend hours and even days locked up in the forge tinkering to create new majestic pieces of art (please don’t go making the Silmarils 2.0 or the rings, enough people died for those). Plus, you would have the opportunity to bless the objects.
He is deeply grateful that such a divine entity like you would find great interest in him and is willing to openly spend time with him, apart from crafting, to get to know him better. He probably died and was reborn in that moment.
You will be a massive foundation in his life, driving him to pursues his passions and dreams, providing support and respect. Though, as much as you’re a rock in his life, he would probably hide you from his father, wanting to silently be with you.
During those moment, your vast knowledge would be shared and generously absorbed like a sponge because Tyelpe isn’t missing the free opportunity to learn about the world before and around him.
Masterlist
Taglist: @lilmelily @ranhanabi777 @rain-on-my-umbrella @mysticmoomin @asianbutnotjapanese @batsyforyou @aconstructofamind @involuntaryspasms @stormchaser819 @addaigio @ladyenchanted @hermaeuswhora @mcwentfandomtraveling @elficially-done-with-life @lamemaster @eunoiaastralwings
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#house of feanor#feanor x reader#feanor headcanon#maedhros x reader#maedhros headcanon#maglor x reader#maglor headcanon#celegorm x reader#celegorm headcanon#caranthir x reader#caranthir headcanon#curufin x reader#curufin headcanon#amrod x reader#amrod headcanon#amras x reader#amras headcanon#celebrimbor x reader#celebrimbor headcanon#silmarillion imagine#silmarillion x reader#silmarillion headcanons#middle earth x reader#middle earth imagine#middle earth headcanon#x reader fluff#x reader insert#silmarillion#doodlepops writings ✨
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My hand never seems to actually translate the ideas that are spinning up in my brain. how do you get it all out? any advice? just draw more? do i need to use more references? your art is just so beatiful you are one of my top inspos.
ah first of all thank you very much! i'm honored! 😳
(long post incoming lol)
to answer the question though, i don't think i sufficiently translate what's in my mind and i frequently let myself down! but it's important not to let that Stop you. i think overall it's sort of multifaceted and different for everyone--theres no single answer i can give you that will guaranteed work for you--but for me personally i think it mainly comes down to Derangement, DISCRETION!!, Discipline, & Diet
before i say anything more though it's important also to remember that making visual art (in our case drawings/comics) is training like 2 or 3 separate skills (depending on how you divide them). the HAND represents your current drawing ability & technique; what your drawing hand is physically able to produce when you set pen to paper. the BRAIN is the creative engine that cooks up your ideas and thinks of ways to assemble them. and the EYE represents your ability to recognize what art looks like and how it "should" look. when your brain is thinking of ideas and your hand can't capture them, that is not because you're "bad" at it: it means your eye skill is currently outpacing your hand skill. your ability to discern art, to see things like proportions and anatomy and composition and whatever else is going on, is currently stronger than your ability to draw them yourself. this is not a flaw. this is not a flaw. this is not a flaw!!!! but it does mean your hands' ability to capture what your brain has imagined will let your eyes down until your hands catch up. once they do--by studying, practicing your technique, using references, and gaining confidence--your eye skill will then begin to outpace it again. this cycle, the dance between the two skills, is why you might sometimes feel yourself suddenly "getting good" at art, then just as suddenly plateauing or "getting worse"; you are training different parts of what makes art happen. there is nothing wrong with this. you are improving even when it doesnt feel like it--even when it feels like THE LITERAL OPPOSITE is happening. because you're improving different skills!
(and of course as your eye skill develops you will look back at previous stages of development and go "HOW COULD I NOT SEE HOW BAD THIS LOOKS!"--and yeah. that's the thing; you probably, rather literally, couldn't see it! you only think it looks bad now because you've improved your "eye" skill. you should try to be proud of that feeling, even though it also likely sucks and is embarrassing to you at the same time. there's posts, even recent ones, that i go "i cant believe i thought that looked OK enough to post PUBLICLY" and it is embarrassing for me! but all it means is that i'm better at what i do now...so it doesn't get me down too badly. you gotta shrug that stuff off.)
with that out of the way, my four evil councilmen are as follows:
DERANGEMENT: find something you are not normal about. this can be anything (whether it's a topic that interests you, The Character, a medium, a damn color palette...anything!), as long as it captures your mind and motivates you to create. your brain should be spinning up ideas like crazy and your only choice is to draw them. because once you have Derangement the only thing that feels worse than Making Something Subpar is sitting around Not Making Anything At All. you should be interested in what you draw. you should ideally love it, even if you don't love your own art yet. once you know what motivates you, let that simmer until you have no choice but to draw even if you're scared it'll turn out bad. and hey--there will probably (unless you become some kind of Art God) always be parts you think should've turned out better in some way, however:
DISCRETION!!: realistically nobody NEEDS to know what parts of a piece you're unhappy with. it's valuable to have friends/art partners/mentors/whatever that you can comfortably check in with and go "i dont like [part], what do you think" and get feedback, but that's for YOU. for the audience at large, maybe people will notice, maybe they won't, but as an artist you are constantly growing and you will very likely be constantly looking back at past pieces (even just days or hours old sometimes) and going "what the hell was i thinking? how did i not see [error/s], or why didn't i go for [different idea/finish/color palette/etc]?". getting hung up on this will probably either light a fire under you or demotivate you completely depending on your particular brain soup. for me it can go either way depending on where i'm at in my current hand/eye development phase. but i try not to fixate on it. it's enough to observe it and take notes for next time. every drawing is part of your growth and you have to make wonky art in order to occasionally make something that satisfies your eyes. in the meantime, don't beat yourself up or put yourself down. you are gaining experience and technical know-how, and spotting things you'd like to work on for next time; especially if you're sharing this work and other people are telling you they like what you made, there's no need to undercut this by dwelling on the rough parts so much that you can't enjoy it. the important thing is that you made it.
DISCIPLINE: you made it, it's done, now make something new. do it again from the top! you're right: Drawing A Lot is absolutely the key to Drawing Better. it is also usually an evil curse that reveals How Bad You Drew 3 Months Ago. but you have no choice, if you want to hone your skills and improve the Brain Image -> Art Image translation. you have to do it even when it sucks. do it bored, do it scared, but you have to do it or you'll never get anywhere. when improving yourself, you have to draw a lot to see change, and this is the part that sucks, right? feeling like you're not really getting anywhere or like you'll never capture what's in your mind. you can do studies where you collect references and focus in on ironing out something that's bothering you (such as, like, specific objects, perspectives, clothing details, anatomy pieces, light and shadow, etc etc); this can help crack the malaise for sure... learning how to use references is good, as well as whatever tools are available to you (in your medium/software). How To Do This is sort of a different post, but it does help (and sometimes annoyingly so; there's been rare but very annoying moments in my career where i will be simply looking at a picture and idly make an observation that cracks a style/anatomy problem i've had for Years and im always like COME ON!!! hahaha--but yes looking at references and studying them "like an artist" definitely helps, even when it's not as miraculous as that). overall work smarter and nail down the stuff you're unsure about, then incorporate what you've learned into your art style until it looks a way you like. you will likely have to just grind it out sometimes, and often this grind will not feel particularly fun. but you can Dog Medication Salami Pocket yourself into it if you're drawing something you're sufficiently Deranged about. <- this is what diesel is always doing with those women (LOL)
also, Output. you do have to Be Making Stuff in order to finish stuff. for example for comic projects like adastra or failteacher au, if i can draw ~1 page a day, the update will be complete in no time. but i have to draw that 1 page every day to make it happen, even if i feel off or lack confidence about what i'm making. of course i'm not saying you shouldn't take breaks; you NEED to take breaks, set your goals to your own level, and listen to yourself (and don't get some kind of wrist problem like me please). but the point im trying to make is that if you can make yourself sit down and do it even though you're scared it'll turn out bad, (or, hell, even if this part of your project is Simply Boring), then you can do it anytime. this is important too. but you will probably still sometimes feel stuck if you try to work and grind all the time.
DIET: regularly, but especially when you're stuck in a rut, step away from your craft and enrich your diet. you have to play just as much as you have to work. for example, i am always ALWAYS reading comics. at any given time i probably have 1-4 (sometimes more) tabs open of different comics i am simultaneously reading!!!! i read webcomics, webtoons, manga, DC--any demographic or genre, i take random recs from people and just go read them. whatever medium you're in, you have to take in what other people are doing with it, you have to let them teach and inspire you. you have to branch out and look at genres and styles you usually don't. unwind and look at comics, at illustrations, at design, at animation, at video games. enjoy them as an audience, but look at them like an artist too. when you like something, pause and examine (as both an artist and audience) why you like it. (vice versa: if you don't like something, you can try to figure out why that is!) let other people's ideas and habits flow over you. you have to relax and enrich your mind, to refresh your creativity and motivation. this is crucial. when you come back, you'll feel refreshed and ready to go, and your big brain cauldron of tools + ideas + techniques will be all shiny and bubbling. it's just as important to experience art as it is to make it. i really can't stress that enough!!!!
i talk about comics specifically here because right now obviously i am making a lot of comics (adastra, failteachers). i often feel like i get stuck in boring page layouts and can't think of how to panel something. and honestly sometimes a basic layout that just Gets Through The Scene is simply sufficient (after all, not everything has to be a Groundbreaking New Masterpiece; we would all get fatigued by that!)--or otherwise a "boring layout" is just what i have to put down in order to put down anything at all. but in both cases, reading comics and taking in what people are doing with their layouts makes me feel refreshed and i can return to my own work all rested and bright-eyed. everything we read and watch and take in is added to our "mental library" for the brain to reference when it's time to create something. it is just as enriching and important to experience someone else's art and perspective, and to enjoy a diverse range of impressions. you are always learning and observing, so try to pay attention--it's feeding your brain... :j
(and now, hopefully, your enriched Diet has added fertilizer for your Derangement, and the entire council can take their turn again from the top of the order. HDFHBJFS)
hmm...
well, overall, like i said at the top, there's no One Solution or really Single Piece Of Advice i can offer you. but i hope maybe you got something out of it anyway. everyone's a bit different and everyone's ideal workflow and journey is different too. but don't give up, keep at it, and...GOOD LUCK!!! 🫡🫡🫡
& always remember: in the end, making something YOU like, that looks good to YOU and fulfills YOUR goals, is more important than making something "perfect" (if such a thing even exists). as long as YOU'RE enjoying making your art (yes, even when making the art is hell and sucks!), that's all that matters. 🤝
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Ayo, hiii! Is it okay to ask angst?
Here's an idea: reader has a sensory disorder (maybe autism), but doesn't know about it (they weren't diagnosed somehow for all these years) and it prevents her from building strong friendships/relationships since people think of them as weird or whatever. But it's not a bother until Miguel shows up. We all know he likes this intense eye contact when speaking to someone but READER CAN'T LOOK IN THE EYE WHEN THEY SPEAK TO SOMEONE. So Miguel might feel that he is disrespected or they don't listen to him (which isn't true, they listen very carefully).
So conflict happens and fluff in the end (make up... make out)? Like reader gets diagnosed after because LYLA notices pattern in reader's behaviour and encourages Miguel to get reader to see a doctor.
I hope I write clear, because English is not my first language.
Thank you, byee💥
Woo-oh! Thanks for requesting, anon. This is some interesting idea here. I tried my best, making some reseraches about sensory disorder and its symptoms; I hope I didn't disappoint you and won't be disrespectful :((
KISS ME BETTER.
Miguel O'Hara × General neutral reader.
warnings: angst, conflicts between the two protagonists, low self-esteem, use of Y/N.
I always thought I was strange. And I always thought that this weirdness would cause me discomfort, like friendships. Seeing all those people of my age and not being able to create unbreakable bonds...I envied them. They made things seem so much simpler than they thought, yet how could I never? This was not even possible when my life changed, taking on my responsibilities as Spider-man. Even in the Spider-society everyone seemed so sociable, available. Perhaps only in appearance.
Not even there was easy to make a friend, let alone find a lover. Great story.
I should have lived with this weirdness for life.
~~~
I can’t face him.
I can’t do it.
I can’t do it.
I can’t do it.
I can’t do it.
That’s what resonates in an endless loop in my head.
It’s not the first time. Every time that happens to me I have a heart that feels like it’s about to escape the rib cage, tense muscles, excessive sweating. It’s not normal to feel so uncomfortable when Miguel tries to talk to me. Every time. Time.
One thing I noticed in the leader of the Spider-society is wanting to maintain eye contact. An intense eye contact.
I just can’t look him in the eye; it creates an inexplicable discomfort. Today Miguel seems particularly whipped (as if he were not always, but who knows...), and my ears are wide open, listening precisely to what he says about the next mission, And how many teams we should split up to make the mission a success.
"Are you listening to me?"
"Of course I do..." I stutter, panicking. I’m afraid it might burst like a volcano. " Then why does it seem that I am talking to a wall rather than a person?" He heard a snort from Miguel. "I don’t have your attention on me. Listen to what I’m saying, Y/N, it’s extremely important".
"I’m listening to you, Miguel..."
"I don’t understand if it’s a joke or not." the leader replied with irritation "because I have everyone’s eyes on me, but not yours! And you know such behavior..."
"So how?" I snapped in self-defense, feeling myself called into question.
"It is disrespectful! And rude!" At that his accusation my eyes finally moved to see his. His face was tense, showing me how angry he was feeling at the time. But it wasn’t my intention.
I never do it on purpose.
Why can’t I be normal like the others?
Why can’t I even face him like everyone else?
Why do I look like such a disaster?
Miguel breathed a deep breath, pinching his nose trying to find his lost calm. I was already looking down. And our conversation ended badly.
The misunderstandings never end.
~~~
"I’m sorry, Miguel."
"Of course you’re sorry!"
"I didn’t want to be rude, I would never, especially to you, because I know you’re the lead-"
"THEN WHY DOES IT SEEM YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME?!"
"BECAUSE THERE'S SOMETHING OFF ABOUT ME! ALL RIGHT?"
Just one sentence.
One sentence from me to silence Miguel and his thoughts. A single sentence to make the tears begin to scratch my face, warm tears that I had kept inside and suppressed for who knows how long, with no intention of releasing them. Sobbing silently in front of the person I cared about the most was another kind of pain. Miguel had no qualms at the time as he approached me with caution, as if I were a helpless little animal, circling me with his mighty arms.
Gently.
A delicacy that seemed extraneous to me because I had always seen him in action, always brutal with his enemies, and to feel me caress the head with so much sweetness seemed strange to me.
"I didn’t mean to yell at you…" These were the words that left my lips, trying with all of myself to look at him, once again, in the eyes, but a greater strength, something contrasting prevented me from doing it altogether. I would never, ever understand why.
"I really wasn’t disrespecting you because by now you should know me well enough to know...and-and-maybe."
Miguel’s hands took me with firmness, but kindness, holding my cheeks, making our lips meet in a sweet and meaningful kiss. My cheeks began to blush.
I could smell Miguel’s strong smell on me, musk and vanilla combined, and how he pushed his lips to mine; he seemed to have no intention of ending that moment.
When our kiss came to an end, Miguel made sure to look at me with his cheeks flushed and his breathing laboured while my gaze wavered.
"LYLA..."
"LYLA..?" I raised an eyebrow. "We just kissed for what seems like an eternity, and the first thing you say... is LYLA?"
Miguel sighed. "No, I..." He rubbed his chin with need, then said, "LYLA has...noticed that you have unusual behaviour. Not that you’re weird, but..."
Just then, Miguel’s AI, Lyla, appeared on his shoulder, like a fake angel, smiling upwards. "Did you call me?"
"LYLA, please..." Miguel snorted, closing his eyes and taking another deep breath. When I saw that scene, I smiled.
"Okay, okay..." answered the AI, picketing Miguel’s cheek, too big for her hands. She then turned her gaze upon me, quickly dissolving from his shoulder and then appearing before my face. " Y/N, what Miguel wants to say to you, but he can’t say out loud because he’s afraid..."
"Don’t start this again..." Miguel’s voice sounded threatening, even though LYLA chuckled, "... is that I recently noticed patterns in your person. Something that makes me think you have a sensory disorder..."
Oh.
Oh, right. of course.
Suddenly, all pieces of the puzzle seemed to connect with each other. It was clear. The woman listed some of the things she had noticed over the months: my wanting to avoid food for the appearance or smell, the agitation in looking even for a moment in the eyes a person, little coordination, hypersensitive to some situations... This was a real problem for me, believing that I was a mistake modelled to take the form of a person, but LYLA wasn’t actually wrong. And maybe...
"I... I wish someone could help you get better." Miguel’s voice brought me back to reality.
"I want you to finally feel good about yourself. I want…I want to be there for you. I want to help you too."
And even though I kept avoiding his gaze, playing with my fingers, Miguel’s tone seemed sweet, sensitive to my situation. And I never would have said it, but then we started getting closer together, spending days, and the memories were etched in my mind forever. He encouraged me in my sessions with a specialist, trying to be present to most of them, waiting outside the waiting room patiently; at the end of each visit he asked me if he could take my hand, which I agreed, wondering how it went and other details. The results were noticed, even if by a little, they were noticed.
And Miguel…never abandoned me.
#marvel imagine#marvel x reader#miguel o'hara x reader#spiderman 2099#miguel o hara x reader#miguel o'hara#miguel o hara#sfw#angst#miguel o hara x y/n#miguel O'Hara x gender neutral reader#gender neutral reader#artists on tumblr
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rogue!
well i really enjoyed that! felt like a classic MOTW doctor who episode, in a way that none of the others this season really have (except maybe space babies... except i uh. did not like space babies lol). i think it makes sense that bringing in two new writers (women! hooray) would stick pretty close to the formula, and i think it worked well. as much as i love the experimental episodes, the formula done well is still a very good formula. that's how you get 60+ years of tv.
the one-off romantic interest for the doctor who tragically gets sacrificed to save the day shtick felt refreshing because it was a man this time, and also because it's in a season where the doctor and the companion haven't had any ship tease stuff themselves lol. also the kylie song playing reminded me of astrid, who had a very similar arc. wonder how intentional
i also liked ruby's subplot of bonding with the one girl, she felt very Companion in this episode
i thought the bridgerton cosplay angle was pretty hilarious and i enjoyed it. i haven't really been paying much attention to the "it's a tv show!" theory -- mostly i find it... more enjoyable to not create theories for myself on doctor who bc there's a 99% chance i'll be wrong and get disappointed -- but i have to wonder if that being the plot of this episode helps or hinders that idea.
also this. really felt like it was meant to be episode 2 of the season. sorry. i know i've been in a "devil's chord got swapped in its order" conspiracy theory this whole season. but space babies leads to the doctor meeting carla again and then we flash back to that conversation here. to prove her identity ruby only references TCORR and space babies. the 6 month jump in devil's chord and the obvious finale tease at the end of it, which was notably missing from this episode. i feel like rtd could personally pinky promise me these episodes weren't swapped in their airing order and i'd still be skeptical
overall, i feel like we've had a pretty enjoyable run of episodes. i've liked just about every episode, with space babies being my least favourite. 73 yards / dot and bubble / rogue is a really strong three ep run for me, had a blast with all of them for different reasons.
however, with only two episodes left in the season, i have to say fifteen and ruby as a team tardis feel quite... generic? they're both extremely likable in the role and i enjoy both characters and the dynamic they have. but there's not really any tension between them, i feel like we skipped so much of the getting-to-know you, i don't feel that ruby has any big character challenges to overcome which means there's not really a lot of growth opportunities for her development either. it's such a shame because this was always the RTD1 era's biggest strength. i think a lot of it is the reduced episode count, but i'm still surprised we haven't seen more of that characterwork that is usually his bread and butter.
sad there's only two episodes left though, i've had fun with the season
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So if you are not team green from the books why are you now?
Well If i get the meaning your question anon, a short answer for your that would be:
Long answer would be:
Well, first, I am Team Green, doesn't mean I hate every character on TB. I do like Daemon as character, sure I don't think he is internet boyfriend. But I do think he is a very compelling character. And besides Aegon, he is the second character with most potential for development. Especially when Nettles come to picture. If the Ryan has balls enough, she could much be the Brienne of Daemon.
Even Rhaenyra, in the sense of her own tragic narrative. Like, ok Ryan is not inventing the wheel with her character, literature is full of kings that are legitimate heirs to the throne that end up loosing power and going crazy over their own self destructive behavior.
And look I even admit would be so much easier to be TB, like even before I watched the show, all my friends are TB, and I knew how TG ends. But when I started watching it, I star to love Team Green. They are just better writing characters, and their dinamics are more nuanced and compelling .
I really found fascinating how Otto actually care about the kingdom, but at the same time has ambitions and uses this to justify in his head selling his own daughter to king, like he loves her but as well, is interesting how he justify his behavior on his own head.
Meanwhile Alicent is such cunning and compelling character, to me she maybe the most complex character of the show. She has so much nuance, I could write forever about her character. The way she connects the best part of herself with her mother, meanwhile also she does become more and more alike to her father creating identity crisis. And that is just touching the surface with her.
And then part 2 dropped and consolidated that for me. Rhaenyra, which was some out compelling, becomes inconsistent with the original characterization and is very much a reactive protagonist, only being held together by Emma brilliant acting.
Part 2 where the kids are introduced, the show actually land very well into establish team green kids much better, with nuances and potential. Aegon, a hedonist who drowns himself in drink to avoid responsibility and lack of affection, with the potential to become a reverse Robert. Aemond is a fine warrior who hides his feelings behind his facade and blindfold. Heleana being the misunderstood pure and innocent child.
The kids on TB barely have characterization, Baela and Rhaena in the books are supposed to be similar configurations to Arya and Sansa, but the show doesn't even establish that well, they don't even have internal rationalization.
Why don't Jace or Luke have resentment towards Rhaenyra because of the status of bastards one bit? Fuck even Jon from the show has more nuanced feelings about this subject than they.
Why doesn't Baela feel a little bitter toward a bastard taking a place she is actually more worthy to have in Driftmark? It can't just be because they grew up together, Aemond grew up with Aegon, and still feels more entitled to the throne than Aegon.
Why are Rhaena or Baela so loyal to Rhaenyra and not feel the slightest bit of resentment towards their father for marrying her so quickly after their mother died after years of lack of affection from Daemon?
For me, I can't take the answer into consideration "they love each other and are a loving family" without the writers making me believe that these characters only have two dimensions.
I think that in this sense, Ryan fell into the same mistake as D&D, in an attempt to make these characters more heroic, he took away everything that could make them interesting. And I'm unlikely to like something that reminds me of GOT's bad writing, or bad writing in general.
Anyway, I hope I have answered you anon. And sorry for the ted talk.
#house of the dragon#team green#pro team green#alicent hightower#aegon ii targaryen#ser criston cole#aemond targaryen#anti team black#hotd critical
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I’m not sure if this has been said before but I find it very interesting how differently the writers of persona handled Junpei’s character in comparison to Ryuji’s. With the role of the mc’s best friend and mostly comic relief, I find the two of them to be the most similar personality wise compared to either of them with Yosuke so this analysis will only be discussing the parallels and differences in the way the story handles Junpei and Ryuji respectively.
To me, Junpei is handled pretty sensitively by the writers (not as much as he could be or should be, but still a lot more than most would expect given his trope); he’s given a lot of character with the introduction of Chidori and we see how he grows to like her as he gets to know her. I’ll admit it’s been a while since I played 3 so take this with a grain of salt but from what I recall, his and Chidori’s relationship gets quite a bit of screen time and development in the main story in a way that gives us a different perspective of how Junpei normally operates around the other members of SEES. With Chidori, he isn’t the class clown or the idiot of SEES, he’s simply a teenage boy who falls for a teenage girl. To me, there’s not much more humanising than that. After her presumed death, Junpei loses it and sinks into a depression, and when he finds out she’s alive, albeit her memory lost, he does his best to help her recover and grapples with the moral implications of her regaining her memory. (I think at least one can’t really remember).
This relationship is important to the story and gives us another, much more sympathetic view of Junpei’s character who, up to this point in the game, had mostly been kept in a box marked “comic relief pervert”. You root for Junpei and Chidori’s relationship because it is clearly shown how much Junpei adores her and not once after he meets her does he stray from this love for her.
It’s not only Chidori’s character that makes Junpei’s character more sensitive either, I find that his general personality and relationships with other characters to be handled better as well.
We have his friendship with Yukari (aka Yuka-tan) which I’ll begin by saying also isn’t perfect, Junpei oftentimes falls into the perverted trope so many of the male characters fall into (such is life with Atlus) and he definitely makes comments towards her that most friends wouldn’t and yeah that isn’t good, but I think Yukari gives it back just as much as Junpei dishes it out and never takes him too seriously. I get the impression that that’s just how their friendship works, it’s a constant push and pull, a give and take between them, they both take every opportunity they get to tease each other mercilessly and it works. It doesn’t feel one sided in the way that Ryuji’s interactions with other members of the phantom thieves tend to feel but I’ll get more into that later. His friendship with Yukari may not be the most noteworthy part of his character, but it’s something I think deserves a bit of credit all things considered.
He matures so much over the game and generally becomes more serious and methodical as the story progresses but in a way that is still undeniably Junpei. That’s a difficult feat to accomplish when dealing with certain characters and I think Atlus does well to make these changes happen in a pretty organic way.
Junpei isn’t a perfect character, he has his flaws and shortcomings, but out of all the bro characters from 3-5, I think that the writers of 3 deserve more merit for handling Junpei’s character arc in a way that actually feels like he’s grown by the end of the game.
I could not say the same for Ryuji.
I will preface this by saying that I love Ryuji, I think he’s a neat little guy and I think the writers did him so dirty in 5 when they clearly had the capacity to do so much more as we’ve seen already with Junpei.
Ryuji is filled to the brim of wasted potential as a character, his backstory is only barely brushed on with a few throwaway comments about his dad being abusive towards him and his mother, his abuse by Kamoshida who literally breaks his leg is barely brought up after Kamoshida’s arc, and the trauma he suffers from is never the focus of the story compared to how other characters like Yusuke, Futaba, and Ann’s are. Of course, trauma isn’t a competition and all the party members in 5 have dealt with awful shit but the point is that all of them rightfully get the opportunity to be angry about it at some point in the main story or in their social links, Ryuji doesn’t. Ryuji instead gets beat up by pretty much the entire cast of 5, is constantly belittled by the party members, and is basically treated like shit and the butt of the joke throughout the entire game.
I don’t think I even need to bring up that scene because I know everyone feels the same way about it, but I will because it’s a necessary part of this analysis. That scene haunts me, not only is it the unfunniest thing that’s played for jokes I’ve ever seen in a game, but it’s quite possibly the biggest controversy I know of in the persona fandom.
The implications of a teenage boy who was abused by his father and his teacher thinking he’s found a safe haven in the phantom thieves because they all know how shitty adults can be and yeah they insult him but they’d never actually purposefully try and hurt him, right? Only to find that they would hurt him and pretty severely after he risked his life to save theirs because they’re his best friends and he loves them is horrendous and incredibly insensitive to everyone out there who has dealt with similar circumstances. The joke he plays isn’t funny, but I take it as Ryuji trying to lighten the mood the only way he knows how and even if he was insensitive to Ann and the rest of the team who are mourning him, he does not deserve to get beaten to a pulp by the very people he almost killed himself to rescue. They don’t even fucking apologise to him, it’s all just brushed under the rug and never so much as brought up again !!!
The scene didn’t need to make the cut at all, especially with the rerelease in royal, but it did and it’s honestly astonishing that with all the backlash it received, that they didn’t just cut it entirely. And if they really had to keep the scene in the game, let him be angry about it. Let Ryuji go off at the team for beating him up after he saves all of their lives. Let Ryuji tell Joker that he expected more from him as his best friend. Let the team have to jump through hoops to gain Ryuji’s forgiveness because it’s what he deserves.
Not only this, but in comparison to Junpei, Ryuji doesn’t get as much growth in his character arc. Throughout the game, Ryuji largely stays the same which honestly isn’t really an issue, not everyone has to change dramatically and drastically to be a compelling character, but he doesn’t change at all. Honestly, from the start to the end of 5, I could barely tell you a difference between the Ryuji we see. Like I said, I don’t need a drastic change, it doesn’t suit some characters, but Ryuji isn’t given any sort of growth by the writers and any he is given feels forced because he genuinely isn’t given any of the spotlight outside of Kamoshida’s arc unlike with Junpei.
It makes me angry because like I said, the writing was already there with Junpei, they had the capacity to write Ryuji in the same sympathetic way they did with him but they chose not to !! They chose to leave Ryuji as a character who you have no choice but to take at face value because he’s not given any more than that.
In conclusion: the writers dropped the ball with Ryuji and I’m mad about it, Junpei is a good character and I’ll fight anyone who disagrees, and Yosuke is Yosuke and I mourn his cut romance route every day.
#persona series#persona#persona 3#persona 5#junpei iori#ryuji sakamoto#character study#character analysis#tldr is that junpei=written well ryuji=doomed by the writers#yes i have cried thinking about that scene with ryuji#it makes me so mad#i love both junpei and ryuji#might go replay persona 3#this is really long so I wouldn’t blame anyone who just scrolls past#persona 5 royal#persona 5 ryuji#persona 3 junpei#spoliers#ig?? the games have been out for years now and if you’re willingly reading a character analysis knowing you’re gonna get spoiled?#you’re the problem
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