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chosok-amo · 5 months

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ASLEEP AMONG THE STARS, CHAPTER 01 — SATORU'S DESTINY AS A BAD COOK

Satoru takes care of you while your brother is in class and nobody's around and tries to cook for you only it turns out to be miserable and has suguru to fix his food.

fluff, gojo x reader

“It's a long story,” you tell him.

The white-haired boy rolled his eyes annoyed before he let out a sigh of frustration. “You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months, I have time,” he tells you— having no wanting to back down his curiosity. This time it's your turn to roll your eyes in annoyance. You turn your head to your right side, looking at your brother's best friend.

Right now you're laying on your bed, your arm spread out on your bed with your feet dangling at the end of your bed while Gojo Satoru— your brother's best friend lay on his stomach on your right side with both of his elbows to sustain his weight, both of his palm rest under his chin. His long ass legs bent up— making himself look like that Lolita girl.

“But I don't, I'm hungry,” you said to him.

Your parents were out of town while your brother had classes, leaving you with Gojo Satoru to take care of you— more like you take care of him. Satoru always invited himself into your house. “It's my second home,” he said to you once. Since he and your brother were best friends for as long as you can remember, maybe since they're both kids. That made you also grow up with him. He is everywhere— your family vacation, your Christmas, your Thanksgiving, your birthday, every single time. Your parents even give him a gift every Christmas, every year.

Satoru clucked in annoyance as he rolled his body to get up. His slander body stands straight beside your bed as he looks down to stare at you and stuffed his hands into his pants. “Come on, I'll cook you the best meal you've ever had, better than Suguru. And after that you have to tell me everything,” he humors you.

You laugh, “You? better cooker than Suguru? You should stop saying bullshit, Satoru.” He gasped dramatically hearing your mockery— looking as offended as someone saying mean things about his height. His large hand squeezed the fabric of his shirt where his heart was located. “Take that back y/n, I'm telling you,” he grumbles. His ocean-blue eyes narrow as he stares at you. “I haven't shown you my talent yet, I'm good at everything I do,” he tells you, suddenly looking so proud like he just won a medal for being a freak as he is.

“I'm not gonna let you burn my kitchen, Satoru, at least not when I'm hungry as fuck,” you rolled your eyes to him. “Come on, I'll cook something for you. Your brother is gonna punch me in the face if he knows I let you eat fast food, so I have to cook for you,” He pulled your hand softly making you get up from your bed. With that, both of you get out of your bedroom and go downstairs to the kitchen.

“Be a good girl and sit there and let Chef Gojo show you his cooking skills,” he smirked at you, which only made you giggle and sit at the bar, across from him. Satoru wears an apron with a hello kitty printed. His white hair sticking out of his head, and today he doesn't wear the round sunglasses he usually wears. He is wearing a sky blue sweater with a plain white t-shirt and a short with the same colour as his sweater— looking all boyfriendable and fluffy and cute together.

You stare at him as he cuts the carrot into an uneven shape, some too big, some too small. His hands look awkward and rigid— showing that he's never cooked in his life. He threw you a glance from time to time, looking all nervous and frustrated. But you choose to stay silent, secretly enjoying his suffering. You don't know this, but Satoru is trying so hard to impress you.

He knows how much you love homemade food and he's been trying to learn how to cook from Suguru, learn what food you like the most and what food you despise the most. One month of learning how to cook and he's nowhere near good. It's even magical if his food doesn't come out as poison and too sweet with how much of a sweet tooth he has. It's not on purpose, he just thinks it's not sweet enough to be delicious.

“Eat one food you made and you can make someone's family tree have diabetes,” Suguru once told him when he taught him how to cook.

“That's not how you do—”

“Shh, princess! I know what I do, you need to trust the process,” Satoru cut you off before you finished your sentence. He gives you a sweet smile to assure you that he knows what he is doing. You look at him as you raise your one eyebrow and sit back. You're not sure what Satoru is going to make but you try to give him the benefit of the doubt and just watch him do his thing.

But Satoru himself doesn't trust the process, he has no fucking idea what he was doing. He doesn't know what to do next, he has no idea what seasoning he should use and how much. All the things Suguru taught him went down the drain and suddenly he felt like the stupidest person in the world. Oh just how much he wishes for Suguru to come home and save him from any embarrassment in front of you— the girl he's having a crush on.

For a while Satoru struggled to maintain his acting, to pretend he knew what he was doing until the front door opened and Suguru came to the kitchen. A sigh of relief he hoped you didn't notice left his mouth, but you do but you choose not to say anything and just smile to yourself. “I smell something burning, what is it?” Suguru asked as he came to the kitchen and stood beside you. He kisses your head and asks, “How do you feel?” softly.

“I'm perfectly fine and starving, but Satoru takes good care of me,” you said, which is a lie but again Suguru knows better. He just smiles knowingly while shooting his best friend a look and raises his eyebrows. “He did?” He asked unbelievable which made Satoru roll his eyes. Suguru takes steps closer to his best friend only to find himself dumbfounded when he takes a look at what Satoru cooks.

He looks at the white-haired boy, facepalm while the other one just smiles sheepishly and scratches his nape. Suguru let out a sigh and eyed his sister, “Can you wait for a moment, sis? Something needs to be fixed,” he tells you in his sweet honey voice. “Sure,” you assure him. He gives you a bowl of blueberries for you to eat while waiting for him. “Go sit next to her,” Suguru pushed his best friend to get out and sit next to you. The boy can only grumble and grumpily sit himself next to you.

“You see? that's my destiny as a bad cook,” he tells you, pouting his lips. You giggle and feed him a blueberry. His eyes light up in an instant and asks you to feed him some more, this time with Nutella. “Stop being such a baby,” Suguru mocked. “Oh fuck you, I'm doing just fine until you come and pretend to be a hero to save the day,” Satoru contended.

“Yeah? Do you do just fine? You can't even cut the carrot properly, Satoru. Look at this one, it's the size of my fist, what do you think we are? A gorilla?” Suguru remarked that only you respond with laughter as he shows Satoru a carrot that is indeed the size of his fist. Satoru mimicked Suguru's words while rolling his eyes. “Well sorry, I'm not Gordon Ramsay—”

“Indeed, you are a wild animal,” Suguru teased him.

You snorted after hearing what your brother said and held your hands to your mouth, preventing you from laughing. Satoru snapped his neck to look at you and groaned in annoyance. “Don't mind him, it's good that you're trying to cook for me, I appreciate it, I'll teach you next time,” you assured him and rubbed his hand softly and smiled at him warmly.

After the three of you had your dinner, Suguru went to his room to take a shower while you and Satoru washed the dishes. He stood beside you as he scrubbed the plate while you dried it after he finished. You notice Satoru peering at you from time to time. You look to your left— to look at him for a second and smile. “What is it?” you asked him.

He shook his head and gave you his cheeky smile, “Nothing,” he tells you. “It's not nothing if you can't stop throwing me a glance with those eyes of yours,” you tell him, still smiling. “I just miss you, haven't seen you in a year,” he told you. This time his attention is fully focused on you and his hands stop moving. His blue eyes looked at you deeply. “You did?” You ask him, a little bit surprised with his outburst.

“So much, I feel like I can't breathe, miss you so much it's physically hurt me not being able to see you,” he tells you, nearly whispered. His eyes look into your eyes with something you never know, something you feel unfamiliar with. Both of you are lost in each other's eyes. You can't seem to get a word out of your mouth, feel too starstruck you can feel your heart beating faster than normal.

And suddenly water splashes on your face. A gasp leaves your lips as you feel wet on your face and your clothes. Satoru laughs at you as he holds his stomach, pointing his finger at you. “You son of a—” You do the same to Satoru without he anticipated it. The water made his hair and face wet. And with that, both of you declared a war on who's gonna get wet the most.

“Y/n?” Suguru calls you which puts a stop to your war. He looked at you with protectiveness. “It's getting late—” he trails off as he steps closer to you. “You can get sick, you should be careful, y/n.” He put his arm around your shoulder and pulled you closer. “Come on, you should rest so you don't get tired tomorrow,” he said to you softly. His hands go up and down to your arms, trying to keep your slightly cold body warm. You look over your shoulder to Satoru. He smiles at you and waves his hand at you. You return the smile and let Suguru guide you to your room.

masterlist

chapter 01 — Satoru's destiny as a bad cook

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#gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #jjk x reader #gojo fluff #satoru gojo smut #nanami smut #toji smut #geto smut #sukuna smut #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you #satoru gojo x y/n #gojo fanfic #geto x reader

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j0elmill3r · 1 year

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It's Me, Hi, I'm the Problem It's Me

Pairing/s - Joel Miller x Daughter!Reader, Tommy Miller x Niece!Reader, Unnamed Boyfriend x Miller!Reader, Miller!Reader x Jesse (For my fellow game players)

Summary - Joel was never there for his daughter, but she could always rely on her uncle Tommy.

CW - Child neglect, abandonment, child abuse, teenage pregnancy, emotional neglect

Word Count - 3.4k

A/N - Okay...here is the fix it fic if you wanna call it that, for so casually cruel in the name of being honest, let me know if y'all enjoy! As always, feedback, likes and reblogs are always appreciated! As per usual with my fics, there is no way that this follows the canonical timeline of either the game or the show!

Joel Miller Masterlist

Tommy was sure he had never worried about Joel, never in the entirety of his life, in which he had always known his brother, he never felt threatened or unsafe with him. He knew that Joel was a great dad to Sarah, the three of them often took trips together, and Joel always went to Sarah's soccer games and made time for her - He could not say the same for Joel's parenting towards you. You had been left on Joel's doorstep when you were about a year old, your mother claiming that she couldn't look after you anymore and that Joel was your father, something which he deep down, very much doubted. In his denial of being your father, he refused to act like one towards you - The trips still remained exclusive to Tommy, Joel, and Sarah, leaving you alone in the house and with only your neighbours to check on you. He didn't speak to you very much, and your sister wasn't any better - But in her defence, she was acting purely out of spectating how your father treated you - Which often left you lonely and to your own devices, your dad only focused on your apparent negatives, you found yourself feeling like more a problem than a child.

However, your uncle Tommy never made you feel that way - He always bought you presents on your few birthdays you had before the outbreak so you would have something to show your friends at pre-school, he reminded Joel, albeit last minute, about Christmas presents for you - He knew that Joel could have cared less about your feelings towards the day, but Tommy did. On many occasions, Tommy had called Joel out on his bullshit way of treating you, but Joel told him that he wouldn't understand, he wasn't a father and wouldn't get it until he was one.

But as far as Tommy was concerned, he was your father. He deserved that title way more than Joel did, anything your so-called father should have been doing for you, Tommy did.

Which is why he felt so guilty leaving you alone with Joel after their argument about Tommy joining the fireflies. He knew, and had saw, what Joel was capable of - If he had found a good enough reason, Tommy feared what your father would do to you. When he met Maria, he had told her about you, and about Joel's unjust hatred towards you - And he was shocked when she encouraged him to go back for you, bring you to Jackson where you could be kept safe. So that's what Tommy did, he went back for you.

You and Joel hadn't found a QZ yet, so were still staying in the farmhouse that you had been in for the 3 years since the outbreak. As Tommy made his way into the house, he found you alone, your father nowhere to be seen - Had he abandoned you? Tommy thought, his heart both breaking and filling with anger at the thought of your father abandoning you and leaving you to die.

"Y/N?" He said softly, not wanting to spook you. You turned to face him, your eyes lighting up at the face of your uncle Tommy - who you had missed so much. He smiled as you threw yourself into his arms, to which he held you tightly. He knew you didn't talk much - most likely a result of your father failing to encourage your speech development or giving you much conversation, Tommy had been making some progress in helping you before the outbreak, but had since stopped after. "Where's your dad?" Tommy asked you, noticing the lack of his things scattered around the house.

"Gone," You told him. You didn't know where your dad had gone, he had left without telling you anything, hastily grabbing his things and the remainder of the food, and shoving them into his backpack and slamming the door in your face as he left. You had counted 3 sunsets since he had gone, but you still hoped that he was going to come back, you didn't like being alone, even though it was how your dad had made you feel throughout your entire life. Tommy frowned, so Joel had abandoned you.

"Alright, come on, you're going to come with me, okay?" Tommy picked you up and carried you out to the truck he had stolen, he went back into the house, leaving a note for Joel, just in case he ever decided to notice you missing. "You're going to come live with me and Maria, in a place called Jackson, we have horses' and I can show you how to ride one, you can make friends and maybe even go to school. You'll love it there." He told you, looking beside him and at you. You didn't look happy, but he couldn't blame you at all, you'd been through absolute hell in your first 6 years of living, so Tommy could understand that you could be a bit upset - But he was going to change that, he was going to give you the life that you deserved, even in a post apocalyptic world.

Tommy and Maria did the best that they could for you. They sent you to the small school in Jackson a while after they had improved your speech, which had gone considerably better than it did the first time that Tommy tried. You did, however, end up pregnant at 17. You and your boyfriend at the time were just fooling around, it was never anything serious until you missed a period. You had discounted it, maybe it was just a one time thing, you had told yourself - that was until you missed it again the next month, and the one after that; that was when you realised what that meant, especially when the rest of your symptoms came out to play, morning sickness, headaches, bloating, they all confirmed your suspicions. You had to sit Tommy and Maria down, calling a family meeting, as Tommy liked to call them.

"So, you know that I love you both, very much," You started off, looking at both of them to try and judge their moods - Okay, maybe it wasn't looking too bad, maybe they wouldn't kill you on the spot. "A-And I just want you to know that this was very much accidental, we didn't plan this at all and it-it just happened!" You cried, tears bubbling in your eyes as you looked between the two of them. Tommy and Maria looked to each other, putting two and two together at what you were hinting at.

"Y/N," You looked at Maria through bleary, teary eyes. Although your eyes were blurry, you could make out the sympathetic look on her face. "Are you pregnant?" You sobbed as you nodded - Hearing someone ask you made it all the realer to you; You were pregnant. "Oh honey, come here, it's okay." She assured you, getting up to give you a comforting hug.

"I'm sorry," You cried into her shoulder, unable to meet eyes with your uncle Tommy, who was thinking of the most efficient way to end your boyfriends life. Maria sighed sadly as she looked at you.

"What are you and (name) doing about it?" She asked you - You knew she would be the more sympathetic towards you, knowing she had a son, Kevin. You sniffled as you rubbed your eyes, still unable to look over at your uncle.

"We haven't...I haven't told him yet," You admitted, looking at Maria sheepishly. She sighed, but understood that you were scared. "Are you guys mad at me?" You whimpered, frowning as you looked at the two of them. Maria smiled at you sympathetically and shook her head.

"Of course not, honey, it was an accident, and it's done now," She explained to you. "There's nothing we can do now, everything is up to you, okay? Don't let this boy make you do something you don't want to. If he does, you come and get me or Tommy, understand?" You nodded, and finally looked over to your uncle.

"Uncle Tommy?" He looked up at you and his face softened. Letting out a reluctant sigh, he stood up and made his way over to you, embracing both you and Maria. He knew that there was no point in being mad at you, it was done now and what you were going to do would be your choice.

This was not how things were supposed to go. Your boyfriend had been killed on a patrol the week before your estimated due date - Maria felt horrendously guilty, she had sent him out on that patrol, which now left you a single teenage mother and your son fatherless. Your stressing had also not been good, since it had sent you into labour at 3am when you couldn't sleep - When calling it for help, you had called Tommy dad.

He didn't mind at all. He knew that if anyone deserved the title of your father it was him. Joel had abandoned you as a child and it seemed like he didn't care to ever ask if you were alive any time they ever communicated - But that was fine. If your father didn't care to ask about you, why should you care, right? It was also not on your mind at the time, since you were about to give birth after an excruciatingly long 9 months. You always said it had been worth it in the end for your son, Thomas, named after your uncle. Tommy and Maria had been kind enough to help out with Thomas when they could so you could still live your life, if anything, they enjoyed looking after your son.

"Thomas, be careful please!" You called out to your son, watching as he ran off and into the school building, and you smiled as he came running back to you. Concern flooded you, was he okay? was he sick? Did he need to go home? "What's wrong honey?" You crouched down in front of him as he ran back to you.

"I forgot to say I love you, mama," He said with a smile, showing the gap where one of his bottom teeth had fallen out. You grinned as you kissed Thomas' forehead, hugging him tightly.

"I love you too, baby. Have a good day, okay? Be a good boy," You told him, smiling as he ran off once more, waving to you before the doors closed. Feeling a presence behind you, you stood up to meet your boyfriend's face. Jesse smiled as he kissed you on the lips, putting an arm around your waist to rest his hand on your stomach - still flat for another few months. You had gotten with Jesse when you were both 19 and over the course of your 4 year relationship, he had been a great father to Thomas, and was going to be a father to a child of his own, their gender not yet known. "How do you think he's going react when we tell him?" You asked Jesse, resting your head on his chest for a minute, looking up when he chuckled at your question.

"Well, he did ask for a younger sibling, so judging by that he'll probably start crying," You quirked your eyebrow at his response. "If he's anything like his mom, he'll start crying when he gets what he wants." You scoffed and shook your head as you feigned offence - You knew what he meant, you were a hormonal mess at the moment, and as for Thomas, he's six, he goes through the "big 'motions" as he likes to call them. Your biggest thing for your son was that he felt heard and understood as you never did at that age. You had made your uncle Tommy tell you everything about your father when you were pregnant with Thomas, you needed to know what not to do, but you knew that you could never do to your son what your father had to you, you would never make him feel unloved or unwanted, and you most certainly wouldn't abandon him in the middle of nowhere to starve.

Growing up, Tommy had told you that it was completely fine and understandable if you wanted to say that you hated your father - But even as a young teenager, you couldn't find it in you to hate him for what he had done to you. Now as an adult and a mother, you understood what Tommy meant. You didn't know how he, or any parent, could treat their child the way that Joel Miller had treated you. That name. That name? It meant nothing to you anymore. You weren't sure what you would do if you saw Joel in the flesh - You were sure he wouldn't recognise you, since you were 6 the last time he had seen you, and he probably assumed that you were dead, given that he had left you for dead in a farmhouse. You knew that Maria had made Tommy stop the minimal communication with Joel, you knew it was out of the safety of the three of you and your son. Which is why you were so shocked when Joel turned up in Jackson, a girl, maybe 13 or 14, trailing behind him.

You tried your hardest to go about your dad as normal, but it was all that was playing on your mind all day, the possibility of having to face Joel again. Jesse could tell there was something on your mind, but decided not to press you about it. You feared when he went out on patrol, after what happened to your last boyfriend who had went on patrol and came back wrapped in a sheet - You couldn't lose Jesse, you loved him too much.

Joel watched the woman a couple metres away from him with odd curiosity, he felt like he knew this woman, but wasn't sure where from. She stood at the school doors, but she looked awfully young to be waiting for a child, but he watched as a small boy came running at her full pelt, calling out her name - mama! The woman hugged who he now knew to be her son, and took his hand to walk away from the school. Joel's breath caught in his throat, she was older now, but he knew her face - His youngest daughter, you. You gave Joel a quick, hardened glance, before looking away and walking home with Thomas.

"Who was that, mama?" He asked you, looking up at you, curiosity in his eyes. You looked down at him and sighed, you had raised him thinking that Tommy was his grandfather - and as much as he was, he wasn't. You opened the front door, helping Thomas take his jacket off and hang it up on the pegs at the front door, then helping him take his shoes off.

"That was mama's dad, baby," You told him, watching as confusion made its way onto your sons small face. "But we don't talk to him." He frowned as he pouted.

"Why?" Thomas questioned you, his wide eyed, innocent gaze studying your face. You sighed pulling him onto your lap, smiling as he rested his head on your chest.

"Because, he wasn't very nice to mama growing up," You told it gently to Thomas, he didn't need to know the details of your fathers neglectful behaviour towards you. "So that's why I'm so close with Tommy, he was like my dad growing up, just like how Jesse is like your dad." You explained to him - You told him when he was 4 that Jesse wasn't his real daddy, but that his real daddy did love him very much, and that they just couldn't be together.

"Oh," He yawned, cuddling in closer to you. You rested your hand on his back, running it up and down gently to soothe him to sleep. "Love you." Thomas mumbled, dozing off to sleep in your arms.

"I love you too, baby," You whispered back to him, standing up and carrying him up to his room, laying him in his bed and tucking him in, the small stuffed bear that Maria had made for him when he was a baby stuffed in beside him.

"I saw Y/N."

Tommy's head snapped up to look at Joel, anger on his face at the audacity of his brother to even mention your name.

"Don't, Joel," Tommy warned him. Joel quirked his eyebrows as he looked at his younger brother. 17 years gave Joel a lot of thinking time - he thought of what he would say to you if he ever saw you again, if you were even alive, for the first time, he was ready to admit that he felt guilty for how he treated you throughout the period of your childhood you had spent with him.

"She has a son?" Joel asked him. Tommy sighed as he nodded, his eyes narrowed at Joel. "How old is he?"

"He's 6, Y/N had him when she was 17. Her and her boyfriend are expecting, but it's not like you would care," Tommy informed him. Joel couldn't explain why, but he smiled - did this make him a grandpa. Before either of them could say anything else, the front door opened and then closed;

"Tommy?" You called out, making your way into the living room with Thomas in your arms. You froze, your heart rate picking up as you now stood face to the face with Joel Miller, the man who had despite giving you life, hated you for it. "Thomas, go with grandpa Tommy, please." Your uncle took Thomas from your arms, knowing that you were finally ready to confront your father.

"Come on bud, let's go play outside," Tommy took him outside, leaving you and Joel in the living room. Joel looked at you, studying how much you had changed and grown up.

"Y/N-"

"No, shut up. I have waited for years, to speak to you about the amount of shit you put me through," You seethed, your chest beginning to heave as you started. Joel looked away from you shamefully. "You abandoned me in the middle of nowhere, with no food or water, you left me starve and die, what kind of a fucking father are you?" You jabbed your finger into his chest. "I was a little girl, and you hated me for no reason. You're such a pathetic excuse of a man, you know that? I fucking hate you." You ranted, shoving Joel away from you, despite how much your inner child just wanted to hug him, so you ended up hugging yourself, a self soothing technique you had picked up as a child.

"I'm sorry, Y/N," Joel apologised. You scoffed and shook your head incredulously, a look of sheer, unadulterated anger on your face.

"You're sorry? You're fucking sorry?!" You yelled, tears filling your eyes. You couldn't believe the audacity of this man, he ruined your life, and now he was sorry? "You know what? I know that you're sorry, but I do not forgive you, and I just want you to know that for the rest of your life I will never, ever, forgive you for how you treated me. I need you to know that I resent you way more than you ever did me." Joel nodded. He wasn't sure what he expected, but it wasn't for you to say that you hated him. He sighed, watching as you exited the house and went outside to Thomas and your uncle Tommy, that was your family, not him.

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lucifer-is-a-bag-of-dicks · 1 month

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when I took a month off work I was lowkey worried I'd come back and find everyone had been fine without me and I wasn't needed at all (because being terrible at every previous job I've had did some ✨damage✨ to my self confidence)

but that is not what happened

I have never encountered someone so fucking happy to see me as my boss' wife was on my first day back, her face lit up like it was christmas, she was practically jumping for joy because now that I'm back she doesn't have to do the ops team's fucking timesheets anymore

I have been told by one of the ops guys that my leave of absence had caused a genuine rift in the boss' marriage because his wife hated doing my job so much they were actively fighting about it

to be clear, his wife is lovely, she doesn't usually throw a shit fit about just anything, it was just that my job is just so fucking annoying that she hated every second of it, and that was the most validating shit I have ever experienced in my LIFE

and the reason she was pissed off at my boss/her husband about it is because he's too soft on his crew and doesn't make them all report their hours for the week

which, as you can imagine, makes building their timesheets extremely fucking difficult

it basically turns the whole process into a puzzle that I have to solve using roughly three different sources of information, one of which is the boss himself who isn't always easy to get ahold of when he's on a site

this puzzle is made even more difficult by the fact that a glitch in our form system keeps messing up the dates on the timecards, so I have to cross reference the time cards from the two (2) ops team members, who actually DO fill out their forms, with the roster, but my boss often changes the roster at the last minute without telling me or noting it down, so then I have to cross reference with the reports they have to submit for certain ongoing jobs because they'll have correct dates and also a list of who was present (if they were doing one off smalltime jobs that week I'll have no physical records and will rely entirely on the boss' memory to confirm dates and staff numbers, unless I can get ahold of one of the ops team members themselves and there's only one who will reliably communicate with me but only when he's not currently on a site)

I tried to explain this process to boss' wife before I left and, looking horrified, she asked me 'is there no way to streamline this?' I replied 'this is streamlined'

as far as I'm aware, as long as I've worked there, there has only been a handful of times people were paid incorrectly, and it was because I was not given correct information by the boss, in the time I was gone, his wife told me that she had incorrectly logged several pays because of this broken ass system

so, as you could imagine, my ego is through the fucking roof right now, I am GOOD at this bullshit job, I took an impossible system and made it work, I am playing on hard mode and killing it, in a field I had zero experience in before taking this job other than a natural inclination for organising and scheduling

and to be clear, I love this job, the boss is too soft on his staff but he's a good guy, he makes us all feel valued and appreciated, he paid me above my award rate, he's absurdly accommodating, and I have an insane amount of freedom to do what I want with company files

I may be working with a bullshit system but I can take naps in the office whenever I want and tell my boss off when he's being too soft (one time his wife literally started clapping when I told him off for sending clients their reports before they'd paid for them) and I get to control when I work, and whether I work from home or the office (which is GREAT when my back flares up)

I might not get many hours (only 16 hours per week) because the company is so small and I run out of things to do because I've streamlined everything (boss literally called me TOO EFFICIENT), but he'll give me those 16 even if I spend half of it playing solitaire and watching youtube

so just, yeah, it feels so good to be confident in my work, to feel valued and appreciated and like I'm actually successful at something after being handed dud jobs for years that I wasn't cut out for, and now knowing that what I'm doing is actually genuinely hard but I've been doing it anyway without fail, makes me feel good!

so tldr; taking a month off work taught me I have phenomenal job security because if my boss ever fires me his wife might actually fucking kill him

#lula's life #I have genuinely hit a point in my life I never thought I'd reach #I'm happy with my job #I'm not in constant pain #and I am living very comfortably with a friend I love dearly #I don't make a lot of money and still rely on government benefits but that's okay because I make enough to be comfortable #life is actually good I can't believe I made it

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wheels-of-despair · 5 months

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The Family Holiday Pairing: Eddie Munson x You Summary: It's December of 1985, and Evil Woman is ready to spend her first real Christmas with Eddie… why is he being weird about it? Contains: Christmas stuff, insecurity, love, a meaningful gesture, tears, being hopelessly devoted to Eddie Munson, a happy ending. Words: 1.6k

"We're putting the tree up and decorating tonight. Probably end up drinking some hot chocolate and watching something Christmas-y. You in?"

You and Eddie had finally been sprung from detention, and thinking about tonight's festivities was the only thing that had kept you awake. The rest of the boys had escaped your cruel fate and gone home when they were supposed to, so it was just the two of you in the van now.

"You need help?"

"What, like 'oh please, big strong man, won't you come help us feeble women-folk put up this heavy plastic tree'?" you tease. "Don't NEED help, but we'd love for you to come hang out."

"Actually…" he licks his lips and concentrates on the road. "I think I might just go home tonight."

"What?" Eddie Munson, passing up Family Fun Time? And hot chocolate?!

"I'm, uh… I'm just really tired. Think I might be coming down with something."

You reach over to feel his cheek, which does look flushed and feel a little warm.

"Are you okay?" He hadn't said anything. Not that he'd been allowed to make a peep during the last hour, but he'd seemed fine at lunch.

"M'fine, just wanna sleep."

You watch him suspiciously as he turns onto your road. You know something's brewing in that twisted little mind of his, but you don't know what.

"Okay," you agree, deciding not to pry. Maybe he just needs a little time to think about whatever he's got going on, and he'll get over it on his own. He pulls into your driveway.

"You want us to wait and do it tomorrow?" It would probably require a little groveling, but you'd do it. You'd do anything for him.

"Nah, don't change your plans on my account."

"Okay," you say again, a little hurt. "If you change your mind, you know where we'll be."

"Don't wanna get you sick too."

"Eddie, you had your tongue down my throat just a few hours ago. That ship has sailed." You tilt your head and wait for a smile. He forces one that doesn't reach his eyes. Maybe he really is getting sick.

"Call me if you need anything?"

He nods. You lean across the van and kiss him on the cheek, then hop out and walk to the door. He doesn't start backing out of the driveway until you've got it open. But this is the first time in forever he hasn't come in with you. It feels strange. You don't care for it.

He didn't come that night, and he didn't call.

Your mother had asked about him, and you'd said he wasn't feeling well. Which, as far as you knew, was true. You thought of him the whole night, from the time you helped wind the lights around the tree, to hanging the stockings, to watching the marshmallows melt in your mediocre cocoa while some claymation special played in the background. Everything was better when Eddie was around.

He arrived the next morning to pick you up for school as usual, but still felt a little distant in the seat next to you. You let the boys ramble about the current campaign while you watched him out of the corner of your eye.

You made an effort to act normally throughout the day. Like nothing was wrong. Like he hadn't unexpectedly bailed on something he was supposed to be a part of. Like he wasn't being weirder than usual.

Despite your efforts to act normal, Eddie remained quiet. He nodded and let out a half-hearted laugh or two at your attempts to break him out of his funk on the ride home. When he pulled into your driveway, he didn't even turn off the van. The rest of the boys had gone to Jeff's to play video games. No one was home. Eddie should be jumping at the opportunity to spend some time alone with you. Unsupervised. Instead, he glances at you like he's waiting for you to get out.

You turn in your seat to face him.

"Alright. What's going on?"

"Nothing."

"Bullshit. Tell me what's going on."

"It's nothing."

"Edward."

He sighs.

You cross your arms. "I'm not getting out of this van until you tell me, so you better either start talking, or get fucking comfortable."

He turns off the ignition, then sits quietly for a moment.

"Don't you ever get sick of me hanging around all the time?"

"Nope. Try again."

"Doesn't your mom?"

"You are aware that she refers to you as her favorite child, correct?"

He huffs out an exasperated breath, and it fogs up the windshield in front of him.

"Look. I appreciate you including me. I really do. But Christmas is a family holiday. Like, THE family holiday."

"You ARE family, dummy."

"I'm not."

"You are. You're more family than most of the people I'm related to."

"That's not how it works."

"That is absolutely how it works. I chose you. WE chose you. Those other people are just assholes we happen to share DNA with."

"Look, just…" He grips the steering wheel. "I appreciate you trying to include me, but eventually you're all gonna get sick of me. I don't want to wear out my welcome."

Your heart sinks. Your annoyance fades. How has he not realized that he's your entire world?

"Eddie, you're always welcome, wherever I am," you tell him gently. "You're my favorite person in the world. I fucking love you. I want you with me all the time. Whether it's Thanksgiving, or Christmas, or a random Wednesday, or the day we get married."

He stares at his lap.

"What's it gonna take for you to realize how much you mean to me?"

He shrugs.

And then, you get an idea.

"Come with me."

You get out of the van, but he doesn't. You walk to his side and open the door.

"C'mon, I want to show you something."

He slides down and follows you with his feet dragging, like a big insecure baby. You kick off your boots and drop your jackets, and you take his hand and lead him to the living room. You come to a stop by the fireplace.

"Look."

He lifts his head and takes in the garland and the holiday-scented candles and the nutcracker and the four stockings…

You can see him re-count.

He looks to you with tears welling up in his eyes.

"Told you so."

Your mom has made him a stocking. It matches the ones you and your brother have had since you were babies. She's even stitched Eddie's name onto it. His stocking fits right in, just like he does.

He bursts into tears. He hides his face in his hands and sobs, and you wrap yourself around him the best you can.

You want to tell him that THIS is why you wanted him to come over last night. That you wanted your mom to see his face when he saw his stocking for the first time. That you wanted him hang it himself. But the lump in your throat won't allow it. So you hold him and let him cry and hope that he finally gets it: He's family. The best kind of family; the kind you all chose, because you all love him.

His eyes are red and puffy when he pulls away from you. You brush his hair away from his face, before the tears can dry and glue it to his skin. You don't know what to say. Apparently neither does he.

You take his hand and tilt your head toward the tree. You lead him to it and flip on the power strip. The tree comes to life. You cross the room and switch off the overhead light, letting the tree's colored bulbs fill the room with a warm glow.

You return to the tree and sit down in front of it, lie back, and maneuver your head underneath the branches.

"C'mere," you finally get out. Eddie sits on the floor beside you and copies your movements, his head coming to rest beside yours on the white blanket your mom has wrapped around the base. You reach for his hand and hold it tightly as you stare up at the inside of the tree.

"When I was a kid," you begin, finding your voice again in the familiar calm of the tree's glow, "I used to spend half the holiday season under the tree. Dad always insisted on a real one, but Mom fought him and switched to a fake one after an unfortunate incident involving sap in my hair. THAT was fun."

Eddie chuckles. You're so happy to hear that sound again. You lie there and hold his hand and stare up at the twinkling lights in a peaceful silence.

"I haven't had a stocking since my mom died."

"Really?" you ask, turning your head toward him.

"Mhm," he hums, still staring upward.

"Wayne wasn't a Santa Man?"

"No chimney in a trailer," he says matter-of-factly, like he's heard it a few times before. "Wayne said that's why Santa sometimes forgot to bring me stuff at Mom and Dad's house. Because they didn't have a chimney either, and Santa couldn't remember how to get in."

Wayne's solution brings a smile to your face.

"Did Santa figure out how to get in at Wayne's?"

"He left the presents on the porch," Eddie grins. "Me and Wayne would put out a can of beer and a bag of Fritos for him. He said Santa would want something salty after all those cookies."

You laugh. "Good thinkin', Wayne."

Eddie finally turns his head toward you.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Eddie."

This is the fic that I fought for 2 days, posted, trashed... and then took another run at and gave it a better ending, inspired by this thought from @munson-memories. 🥰

#writings of despair #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x evil woman

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jungle-angel · 5 months

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Lessons In Nursing (Calvin Evans x Reader)

Summary: You decide to have your mother-in-law come and give a lecture to your class, but woe to the heckler who incurs her wrath

Tagging: @floydsmuse Meggy, I hope you're good with it, but the entire time I wrote this I was picturing Emma from White Christmas as Patricia and could literally hear her voice as I wrote it (lol).

Warnings: Pregnancy, college admin being a sexist moron, misogynistic remarks, etc.

"You nervous Pat?" you asked as the three of you made your way towards the science buildings on campus.

"Not in the least (y/n)," Pat answered confidently. "I've had to give numerous lectures in the past and have yet to face one that I couldn't do. How about yourself? How are things?"

"I'm tired," you answered.

"I tried that home remedy you suggested the other day Ma," Calvin answered. "The one with the raw ginger?"

"Did it help with the morning sickness?" Pat asked.

"Morning sickness, yes but the fatigue is a different story," Cal said.

"A mug full of chamomile tea in the morning will do you good," Patricia explained. "Did it with every single one of my kids and it hasn't failed me since."

The three of you had at last arrived at Franklin Hall, a tall, imposing gothic monstrosity of a building that looked more like a medieval church than a reputable college institution. Here was where the science classes were all held, chemistry, biology, anatomy and physiology as well as the nursing courses that you taught.

"You gonna be able to make it this afternoon?" you asked Calvin as he handed Six-Thirty and his leash off to you.

"I'll make it," Calvin promised. "Dr. Powers and I will both be there after our classes get out at twelve. But after that I need you down to the cafeteria so you can get something to eat. I don't want you faint in the middle of the lecture."

You chuckled and kissed your husband, even as Six-Thirty nudged your belly with his nose. "Now you knock that off," you told the dog. "That's Daddy's job."

Calvin smiled as he gave you one last hug, his hands trailing to the slightly evident bump that had shown up overnight. He couldn't feel the baby kicking quite yet, but you knew that when he did, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands off you.

"Good luck Sweetpea," he said, pressing one last kiss to your lips. "I'll see you at noon."

"I'll see you then."

Cal pulled open the heavy oak and iron doors, letting you, Six-Thirty and his mother in first before he followed you both down the hall. He headed straight for the chemistry labs with Dr. Powers while you and Pat headed for the anatomy lecture room.

Your girls were all awaiting in the room, each one in their lab coats, chattering away as you and Pat took yours from the rack. "Good morning ladies," you chirped.

"GOOD MORNING PROFESSOR EVANS!" they chimed in.

"Alright ladies," you announced, taking your place in the lecture pit. "We've got our demonstration today at noon and to prepare, I've brought a little guest to help. So without further adieu, I present to you all, my mother-in-law, Patricia Evans."

"Thank you sweetheart," Patricia said, taking her place at the stand. "Alright ladies, none of the usual bullshit this morning. Lets get down to business....."

********************

"So am I technically doing this right?" the eighteen year old asked Calvin.

"Yep, you're good," Calvin assured him. "Just let it drip into the beaker and let it do its thing."

Calvin absolutely loved working with the eager, fresh-faced students who had come from all the local high schools in the area. To him it meant being able to get back to basics, to go back to the roots of chemistry and to teach them from the ground up. He loved when they got creative with their notebooks, drawing colorful pictures and diagrams and experimented with their handwriting. Any other professor would have turned their noses up at it, but Calvin and Anthony Powers absolutely loved it.

"Hey Professor Evans?"

"What's up Frank?"

"Remind me again what color the fluids are supposed to be again after they've boiled?"

"It's supposed to be pale pink," Calvin answered. "What color is it now?"

"It's a dark pink."

"Let it go another five to ten minutes but no more than that," Calvin instructed.

He looked up at the wall clock and saw that it was ten minutes till noon. As soon as he had the chance, Calvin ordered everyone to clean up and to put their experiments in the glass cabinets until tomorrow. He dropped his lab coat in the laundry and made his way down to the other end of the wing, eager to hear and see your demonstration.

*******************

"..........Now these particular tests are quite easy, but determining the results can be a real hassle," Patricia explained to the audience. "Back in the day you wouldn't have thought to test the patient's blood at all and half the time you'd wait until really, truly, severe symptoms appeared......."

"Your mother's a knowledgeable lady that's for sure," Dr. Powers remarked to Calvin, the two of them sitting higher up from the pit.

"Knowledgeable isn't even the half of it," Calvin whispered back to him. "You should see when she really gets going."

"Now after the blood test has been done," Patricia continued to explained. "It's best to continue the treatment as is, until further notice or until the results come in and then determine the course of action therewith."

"Sounds like a brilliant plan," someone in the crowd spoke. "Coming from a woman."

The entire room fell so silent one would have been able to hear a dog whistle. "I'm sorry?' Patricia enquired.

"It just seems funny to me to think that you know more than the doctors on this campus," the grey-haired young man said to her. "After all, nursing is one of the lesser sciences."

Calvin wide-eyed and made a face, Dr. Powers groaning and running his hands over his chubby, round face. "Oh no, he didn't," Powers groaned.

"Brace yourself, this shitshow's about to get worse," Calvin warned him under his breath.

You and Patricia glanced at each other, your mother-in-law noticing the way your jaw clenched and how your posture stiffened.

"Young man do you work here?" she asked.

"Well......yes but I....."

"And to what department do you belong?" Patricia questioned sharply.

"Well, the medical arts," the young man replied. "You see I had studied at the Harvard Medical College and......."

"Oh and Ivy Leaguer huh?" Patricia said. "Tell me now, have you ever stitched up a man with shrapnel flying around you in all directions?"

"No I......."

"Have you ever had to repair a torn aorta in a tent before?"

"No I......"

"What about trenchfoot?" Patricia questioned again. "Ever had to deal with any of that?"

"No ma'am I......"

"Then I wouldn't consider you much of a doctor in that case," Patricia scoffed.

"Now ma'am you see here for a moment!"

"Young man, I had to earn my stripes in the middle of a shelled out church in France, rearraigning men's guts day after day while everywhere else was having the living daylights pounded out of them," Patricia snapped. "So until you yourself have been there, I suggest you sit up a little straighter, keep your legs crossed, shut your mouth and mind your own business!"

The young man cleared his throat and sat up a little straighter, as did everyone else including Six-Thirty who was in the corner at your feet. Not a single soul in that lecture hall dared to make another snide comment to Patricia Evans or to you.

***************

"Well that went a little better than expected," Patricia commented as you, her and Cal made your way up the little brick path to the house. "Although I could've done without Mr. Ivy Leaguer there making those snide remarks."

"I saw him cross his legs the minute you snapped Ma," Calvin chuckled, unlocking the door.

"My apologies, but the damn fool had it coming," Patricia remarked. "Besides, if that had been your father, he would have said things that would have Ulysses S. Grant himself rolling over in his grave."

"Or blushing in most cases," you chuckled.

You both entered the house, the place warm and cozy as ever with the smell of dinner cooking on the stove. One could say whatever they liked about Henry Evans Jr., but the man was a damn good cook.

Henry and Pat both conversed about the happenings of the day while you and Cal enjoyed their company. All of you laughed at the lecture incident, but when Calvin looked at you and mouthed a silent "I love you", you couldn't help but lean into him, one arm round you and the warmth of your husband surrounding you.

#lessons in chemistry #calvin evans #calvin evans x reader

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actualmermaid · 2 years

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Hey Christians

I am once again getting reports that some of you are appropriating Jewish holidays and traditions, and 🌠 you should immediately stop doing that 🌠

Since I'm also a Christian, maybe you'll take this better from me. I usually see this behavior from people who are white, American, and/or Evangelical-adjacent, and I suspect that you're messing around with Jewish stuff because you feel alienated from your own cultural background, whatever that may be. You belong to what is essentially the big-box-store version of Christianity, and you're probably hungry for something that feels more "authentic." That's 100% understandable! But it is not a reason to appropriate traditions that belong to a community that has not shared them with you!

Luckily, there are some pretty easy ways to get acquainted with your own cultural heritage through traditional Christian observances.

Get acquainted with the traditional liturgical calendar. Our observances are structured around the solar year, and historically, these observances were tied to the patterns of agricultural labor. Religious festivals also had seasonal significance: the birth of Jesus coincides with the lengthening of days after the winter solstice, the resurrection of Jesus coincides with the rebirth of plants and animals in the spring, and so forth. The more you learn, the more you realize how much we've lost/forgotten!

If you know where your ancestors came from, you can research how folk-religious festivals are practiced in those parts of the world! What foods are eaten? What games are played? What stories are told? If there's a church associated with "your" cultural community, you might consider visiting them around important festivals and learning what they do. Remember, you are a student, and you should still approach these observances with respect and openness!

Here's a non-exhaustive list of things to try if you're feeling the temptation to appropriate a closed Jewish practice:

Instead of observing Rosh Hashanah because you're feeling left-out by the lack of major Christian holidays at this time of year, start looking forward to the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi (October 4). Here in the US, it's common for churches to hold a special "Blessing of the Animals" service or a "St. Francis the Peacemaker" service, often in cooperation with churches from other denominations! It's a lot of fun!

Instead of trying to host your own Passover seder (I have a horror story about this that I will refrain from sharing out of respect for my Jewish friends), just celebrate Easter like the rest of us! Easter, not Christmas, is the most important day in the Christian liturgical year. There are MANY ways to celebrate Easter in a more "traditional" way than you might be used to.

Celebrating Hanukkah as a Christian makes you look fucking stupid! Don't do it! Instead, if you want a multi-day traditional Christian observance, our things are the seasons of Advent and Christmastide! Again, depending on your cultural background, there are lots of ways to "practice Christianity" around this time. Fasting (similar to fasting during Lent) and lighting the candles on an Advent wreath are easy ways to start.

Don't try to observe Torah, that's not our thing! If you want to practice more "rules," consider trying out one of the many Christian fasting traditions (NOT the "Daniel Fast," which is basically a crash diet attached to some very bullshit theology), praying the Daily Office or using prayer beads, or wearing a head-covering in church. ("But I'm not Catholic," you might say, but if you do some research you'll discover that none of these things are unique to Catholics! You're not Jewish either, but that's not stopping you from messing around with their stuff!)

Before you come at me with excuses about this not being "biblical" or whatever, keep in mind that many Jewish observances are also not "biblical"! If you really want to try out a Jewish holiday, you should make a Jewish friend and let them invite you, but it's pretty hard to make Jewish friends if you're constantly trying to steal their shit! (The last 2000 years of Jewish-Christian relations are hard proof of this!)

#christianity #judaism #religion #culture

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missacidburn928 · 5 months

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It's a year old but here's some holiday spice for you all while I wait in the urgent care with my autistic son.

I Really Do Believe In You....

Steve Rogers × Bucky Barnes x Thor Odinson × POC Singer!Reader "Honey"

Let’s see if you believe in me.

The Avengers Holiday party. You are both a guest and part of the musical entertainment. Will you end up on the naughty or nice list?

You spot them as they enter the main ballroom. Your three strapping men, color coordinated and cutting intimidating frames in their suit choices. Thank the goddess you had a good hold on the mic as you waited for your cue to join Sy in singing White Christmas, or you might have literally swooned in front of this mass of party goers.

You start your verse as you watch them make their way over to the bar where the team, plus one Sharon Carter, have gathered. Thankfully tonight’s event is Jane Foster free, so it should be a good night with you, Sy and the Chanti’s house band entertaining Tony’s rich friends and employees before enjoying some much needed time with your men.

You can't help but feel festive in your short red dress, studded red fishnets and nude pumps. You’ve kept your makeup simple with a nude lip and a smokey eye. Your hair down and in its natural state. Sy made a comment when picking you up that you looked like Santa’s little Siren. Seems appropriate if you do say so yourself.

Per usual you notice Sharon being a bit too chummy with your Captain. The woman just can’t help herself. You know all about the “kiss” when they were trying to save your beloved Bucky. But according to Steve the reason it never went further was because there was no spark when their lips touched. And he tried giving her a chance, chalking the lack of spark up to the stress of the situation, but she was way too into his status and power. So he ended things before it made it any further than a couple dates and a subpar makeout session.

What is it with these prude ass women that hang around these strong ass people? Sharon, like Jane, thinks your quad is ridiculous and you don't need that many men. Especially when you added Steve in.

“He should be upholding traditional values as he’s America's golden boy. Not flaunting such an alternative lifestyle. Hell if he was gay it would be easier than this bullshit. Why on Earth would you want to willingly share a woman with two other men. Not to mention one of those men is a God and the other a murderer.”

Let's not forget what she also stated in that little rant of hers, when she was unaware you could hear her perfectly clear from your spot in the common room. “I just don’t understand what he sees in her. Who stays in a band with someone they used to be fuck buddies with? It’s just tacky and sad. A man that powerful should be with someone who is only devoted to him and can boost his image, not damage it. ”

I’ll show her tacky. Lord knows I'm certainly not above being petty. I’ve been behaving for far too long. Time to put these Siren skills to use. What good are they to have if you can’t fuck with uppity bitches using them.

Continue

#poc reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes smut #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x you #bucky x reader x steve #thor smut #thor x reader #thor fanfiction #polyvengers #avengers x reader #avengers smut #avengers au

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margotw10bis · 5 months

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Cold Hearted. JJK [m] TEASER

hockeyplayer!Jungkook x figureskater!reader

Genre: one-shot; smut; romance; e2l

Words: ?k

Synopsis: It's no secret that you absolutely hate Jeon Jungkook, the captain of the hockey team. But you hate him even more when you are forced to share the same ice rink.

Teaser

It’s with a choked throat that you enter the ice rink today. Usually, it’s the best time of the day because, when you are skating, you feel free. You feel like nothing matters than your skates and your moves express everything you can’t put words on. You have been skating since you were three because your mom was a former Olympian in that very same sport. Of course, she was strict with you but she always gave you the choice to keep going or to stop. But you didn’t. When you were happy, upset, or sad, you put your skates on and slit on the ice. After entering Seoul University, it was just natural to join the Ice Skating Club and you haven’t regretted it one bit.

Until now.

You are so mad and grumpy at the idea of just seeing Jungkook.

You are lucky enough to be the first one here. You make sure your skates are well-attached and start your warm-up. You even succeed in slightly relaxing when more members of the Figure Skating Club join you. And since it has been more than fifteen minutes, you think that the hockey team won’t show up.

Well, that's what you thought until you hear some shootings — similar to monkeys when they find food — and you witness the players entering your sacred place. They are wearing their hideous hockey jersey and acting like the stereotyped jocks they are.

You feel your whole body tense and you stop your track, waiting for Jungkook to be his usual self, that’s to say a prick. And you don’t have to wait long for it…

He slides gracefully towards you and you cross your arms against your chest, clearly notifying him that you are not in the mood for bullshit.

"Hello there, sunshine" He greets you with a wide smile, certainly trying to lure you but it doesn’t work and you raise a brow "It looks like we have a problem" He continues with the same smile

-----

🎄I'm happy to present you my Christmas romcom for this year! I hope you'll like it. Tell me if you want to be on the taglist (I think I'll post the story on December 24th) 🩷

#bts #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook #jjk #fanfic #jjk x reader #jjk smut #teaser #jeongguk #jungkook x reader #bangtan #jungkook ff #jungkook smut #jungkook bts

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kiwiana-writes · 5 months

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Fic Writing Review 2023

Tagged by my fellow stats nerd @stereopticons - thanks pal!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Words and Fics (fics written in 2023 only)

143,107 words published to ao3. At least 3,900 more guaranteed by the advent fic so... I think I should make a concentrated effort to break 150k, right? 👀

No good way of tracking unpublished words in WIPs written this year. My goal for 2024 is to set up my spreadsheet to track words written as well as published so watch this space.

3 published fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue (book), Schitt's Creek, The Last Of Us (TV show). Technically 1 unpublished fandom in Red White & Royal Blue (film) 😅

Most recent drop: Apart from the daily advent fic drops lilnked above, a PWP interlude in the hockey boyfriend Henry 'verse

Longest (published) fic: By a country fuckin' mile, With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest), aka the Much Ado actor AU, at 65,586 words.

Longest (published) oneshot: Kinda think that I might be his type (Alex and Bea fake date) at 12,864 words

Top Fics by Kudos (fics written in 2023 only)

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) [RWRB, Alex/Henry, rated E, 65,586 words]

Kinda think that I might be his type [RWRB, Alex & Bea + Alex/Henry, rated E, 12,864 words]

We were supposed to find this [RWRB, Alex/Henry, rated M, 3,384 words]

Puck It [RWRB, Alex/Henry, rated E, 9,739 words]

Feel your hands in my hair and you whisper my name [RWRB, Alex/Henry, rated E, 2,508 words]

Miscellaneous Data From My Unhinged Spreadsheet about 2023 fics

To no one's surprise, highest percentage of private bookmarks goes to Bukkake Breaky Heart.

Out of 24 fics published in 2023, 14 were explicit, 2 were mature, 7 were teen and up, and 1 was general audiences

3 fics didn't have a title sourced from anywhere. 3 were sourced from literature/poetry, 3 were puns, and the remaining 15 were song lyrics, with 3 each from Taylor Swift and Matt Nathanson.

My highest kudos/hits ratio was on Empty your heart of its mortal dream, aka the Fae Prince Henry fic.

My fandom fic events in 2023

Nilch nada zip in terms of, like, fests. I wanted to do Threesgiving but the words wouldn't come, so a sort-of-threesome-sort-of-foursome will probably appear on some random day in fucking February or something lmao. However while they weren't fandom-specific events, I did do:

Kinktober 2023

Advent 2023

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

I have a lot -- a lot a lot a LOT -- of WIPs that will be completed in 2024, so please don't think of this as an exhaustive list, but they are the ones I'm most excited for:

A Practical Arrangement - @clottedcreamfudge has Devised A Punishment if I don't get chapter two out for y'all by Christmas because my usual methods of pushing past my brain bullshit weren't working, so technically this is a 2023 project 🤣 @ships-to-sail and @celeritas2997 have the carrot and CCF has the stick.

Anastasia AU!!! I LOVE this fic and I think it's in the 'meaty one-shot' range buuuuuut we'll see. It might get a little out of control.

Angstapalooza RWRB edition - this is gonna be another long fic, 10-11 chapters, 50k words ish, and I cannot WAIT to make y'all cry sink my teeth into it. My Schitt's Creeks babes know what happens when I deem something 'angstapalooza' lmao.

Hockey Boyfriend Henry part 3, aka the whole reason I started writing the fucking series in the first place lmao

Leverage AU, which I haven't shared anything of yet because it's a post-angstapalooza longfic but I am VERY HYPE FOR.

Rafael Is Surrounded By Disaster Queers, aka the Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead-style Rafael POV... 5+1? Vignettes? set in the Much Ado actor AU verse. Which at this point is just a gift for @inexplicablymine and @cricketnationrise and I wouldn't have it any other way.

STFAU 👀

*infomercial voice* And much, much more!

BUT, 2024 is also for taking original writing seriously. Maybe flash/microfiction on patreon, definitely diving into an original novel. I've thrown in the towel with my contracting agency in the new year and everything. Ack.

Tagging anyone I've tagged above and also @anincompletelist @cha-melodius @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @myheartalivewrites and anyone who wants to play because I love data.

#kiwiana-writes #fic writing review 2023

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butmakeitgayblog · 7 months

Note

I have a "What if" question that might sounds stupid, but I could totally be dumb and didn't catch the answer.

I'm reading your CI snippets and more specific the Bet pt. 2, they're kissing (beautiful moment) and Lexa tells Clarke that she has always wanted her (my heart is a puddle, great) but in the snippet where they fight because of CC (Cunt-Costia) Clarke actually ask a really interesting question: what would have happened if Costia never broke up with Lexa?

And yes, Lexa is super soft and vulnerable in her answer and she told Clarke (one of my favorite moment of ALL times, among all the ff I ever read) that she wouldn't survive losing Clarke (and that's why I think she'll be livid when Clarke does that accident with her car) but she never actually answer the exact question.

She told Clarke that right now she doesn't need to doubt their love because she would never cheat on her because she really loves her (and we know how much does that mean) and she couldn't image a life without her because she wouldn't survive it, but what if Costia never left?

Oo I love a good If/Then

Ok so, realistically, if Costia hadn't broken up with Lexa, they absolutely would've gotten married.

Raven was not lying that the two had been talking about the idea in the not-entirely distant future. And Lexa meant what she said when she told Clarke that she had been happy enough with Cos. Enough at least to choose that path for herself once upon a time. With Costia she was safe, and that's exactly what she wanted at that time. A wife who she more or less loved, who she was generally fond of and got along with, and who she was sexually compatible to. She had no real vulnerabilities with Costia. They had the same circle of friends, Costia had her own wealth and status that only helped amplify Lexa's own. Cos was exactly the kind of girl everyone expected Lexa to end up with, and she was perfectly fine with that.

She probably would've been unfaithful, but not because Lexa isn't a one-woman woman, but rather because eventually she would've felt bored and unfulfilled. Tho that would've been an understanding between them. Costia keeps whatever lovers she feels like having to herself, and Lexa would do the same. They'd be the quintessential Old Money marriage of two people who were together for fun, status, and convenience, with all of the usual bullshit that came along with it.

It would've been a shrewd marriage. A safe one.

One Lexa could never get hurt in.

Clarke would've kept going exactly how she was. She would've eventually straightened up enough to follow her father into finance and investment, and hated every goddamn minute of it. She would've kept on "not doing relationships" and left an even longer string of men and women in her wake. Her life would've been more or less unremarkable, nothing exceptional, beyond being a pitbull in her chosen profession. She would've been extremely successful, but lonely, and still entirely convinced she wasn't worth being loved.

They would've drifted even further than they were to begin with. Lexa - settling into her own little life of nonstop work and playing the doting wife, in between fucking her mistresses after hours and picturesque weekends with the in-laws in the Hamptons. Clarke - drowning herself in work and money, weekends of sex and top shelf bourbon. No calls, no Christmas cards, no visits home to check on the parents. Neither ever really acknowledging that the other one existed, much less having any kind of contact.

But when their parents pass?

When that evil bitch and the dipshit both go?

Meeting again at the funeral?

That'd be the moment that everything changes.

Because Lexa sits next to Clarke at the service smelling like the most intoxicatingly delicate cologne Clarke's ever smelled in her goddamn life. It's feminine, but muskier than she remembers the girl having smelled like so many years before. More mature. She thinks it suits her. But fuck, Lexa's still all legs and sharp jawline and those eyes that just scream of danger. The poutiness of her lips is really hard not to stare at when Lexa sits there so bored it's like she could fall asleep.

There's something comforting in knowing that, even after so much time and knowing how Lexa had spent the years playing house, she still sees through the bullshit fakeness of all this. Just like Clarke does.

What Clarke wouldn't know is that Lexa would've chosen that seat entirely on purpose, though she would've told herself it was just in the interest of annoying her estranged stepsister. Not because the sight of Clarke in her skin tight blazer and short skirt made her heart jump up into her throat like she was 17 again. Not because Clarke looks like the epitome of money and sex. Or like she doesn't give a fuck about the fact their last ties to their old lives are finally 6ft further out of their minds.

A few whispered jibes and morbid jokes to follow a few predictable insults would have them smiling. Because some things never change, even when so much else has.

And those insults would turn into plans to meet for coffee and coffee would turn into a lunch. A lunch spent actually talking like adults. Like strangers, but not quite, who are actually taking the time to get acquainted. Catching up about where they've been (despite them both vaguely knowing through the grapevine in one way or another) and what they've been doing. Who they've been doing. Comparing notes and unfortunately shared notches on their individual bedposts, though that subject dies quickly in lieu of just shameless flirting.

Because some things really never change.

That lunch would become lunches, would become meeting up whenever the hell they feel like. Visits to each other's offices and dinners spent behind closed doors, just the two of them locked away. All it'd take is one wrong look and the exact right thing to say, one too many touches that linger, and they'd be shamelessly fucking on every surface that would hold them.

Except unlike the trysts and flings they've had over the years with others... it's never just sex. Never. Not with them. And Lexa admits that one night, after months of lunches and dinners and stolen trips away together that they each blame on work, when she really realizes just how deep in fucking trouble she is. When she admits that this was why she didn't let anything happen when they were younger.

Because everybody has always been just everybody.

But Clarke?

She's Clarke.

That's when they both realize Lexa needs to find a really good divorce attorney. And that Clarke needs to get the hell over her fear of commitment.

Quick.

#anon #cruel intentions au #🥰🥰🥰 thank you and I'm so glad you like this story #i know it's polarizing and all so it means a lot when people like it #they're our lil fucked up babies

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feelbokkie · 9 months

Text

Ephemeral Love | Chapter 9

pairing: Seungmin x fem reader

genre: smau, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au, university au, right person wrong time, minor character death

pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

warnings: swearing, minor violence (behind closed doors, literally), Jisung is back on his bullshit, mention of blood

summary: Does love last forever, or is it fleeting? For university juniors Kim Seungmin and Seo Y/n, it's love at first sight but sometimes you meet your soulmate at the wrong time.

word count: 1,155 (unedited)

screenshot count: 12

previous | masterlist | next

You stare at the blank word document, watching the cursor blink impatiently as it waits for you to write something. Anything. With a brain like yours, you were never short on words when it came to papers. The real issue is making it not sound like a wikipedia article. You've spent the past couple of weeks hanging out around Seungmin and his apartment. You did homework together and spent a lot of time talking but you kept putting off your paper. How could you say what hasn't already been said. It's giving you a headache. Your headache dulled slightly when Seungmin started texting you earlier.

Bam!

"What the hell...?" You send Seungmin a quick text as you get up from your desk and poke your head in the hallway of your apartment to figure out what that noise was.

The last time you heard a loud noise like that, Felix somehow managed knock down the entire bookshelf on top of himself and you were the only one home to help get it off of him. Magically, he only had a few cuts and bruises.

"Han, stop throwing shit at me!" Felix's voice booms through the apartment.

The yelling is coming from Felix and Jisung's room. Their door is wide open, letting you see straight into the bedroom, which is messier than usual. You abandon the safety of your room and walk into theirs.

"Why? Don't you trust me to not hit you in the face? Do you think I would stab you in the back?" Jisung shouts back. He's standing on his side of the room, clutching a rather large book. You recognize the book, it's the one you got him last Christmas about famous composers throughout history. You thought that reading it would get him out of the slump while he was composing his own music. You were right.

"Look, I said I'm sorry. But in all honesty, it wasn't fair for you to put me in the middle like that." Felix says softly from his side of the room. He's clutching a pillow, probably to protect him all the things Jisung has thrown at him. You can see the various stuffed animals, half empty water bottles, and notebooks littering Felix's side of the room.

"Fair? Bro, you went behind my back and told Y/n something I told you in confidence. How is that fair?" Jisung shouts before hurling the book straight at Felix's head. Luckily, Felix ducks narrowly dodging the book.

"What the hell is going on?" You ask panicked. You've never seen Jisung so mad.

"Oh for fuck's sake..." Jisung mutters before walking over to you, gently shoving you out of the room and slamming the door in your face.

You stare at the door trying to process what just happened. You can hear muffled yelling on the other end, Felix's voice significantly louder than Jisung's. You're unsure what to do. The three of you are the only one's home. Chan left a few hours ago to go to play rehearsal and Changbin has been at work for most of the day. You know better than to get in between them right now. You've gotten hurt getting in the middle of their play fighting before, you don't even want to think about what would happen if you tried that while they're actually fighting.

You anxiously shift the weight from one foot to the other as you stand behind the door with your hand on the door knob unsure if you should at least try to intervene. You freeze when you hear a pained scream come from the room.

You swallow the lump in your throat and open the door. You find Jisung flat on his back on the floor, clutching his face, and Felix standing over him, all the color drained from his face and eyes transfixed with horror, unable to look away no matter how much he wants to.

"What the fuck happened?" You ask, kneeling down next to Jisung. Now that you're closer to him, you can see blood dripping down the side of his face and spilling through between his fingers.

"I-it was an accident. He, he started shoving me and getting in my face and I told him to fucking stop but he wouldn't-- He fucking sucker punched me and I swung back without thinking. I didn't mean to hit him that hard, but he was pissing me off." Felix says quickly. You're not even sure how you understood him with how fast he was speaking, running his words together.

"Ji, let me see your face," You say calmly. You grab one of the shirts that's laying on the ground, ready to use it to help stop the bleeding.

"I'm fine," He chokes out as he sits up, more blood dripping down his face.

"Bullshit, you're bleeding profusely all over yourself and the carpet. Pretty sure you broke your nose. Let me check," You say, gently trying to get him to move his hands.

"Why do you even care?" He chokes out. He almost definitely has blood in mouth.

"Because you're my best friend even though you're being an asshole to me."

"Best friend, right..." He says softly.

"Ji--"

"Just leave me alone," He get up and leaves the room. You hear a door slam on the other side of the apartment.

You shut your eyes and take a deep breathe before running off to your bathroom and grab the hydrogen peroxide and a washcloth. You go back to the room and quickly clean up the bloodstains.

"How are you doing, Lix?" You ask Felix as you clean.

"He knocked the wind out of me and my hand hurts but I'm okay." He explains.

"What happened? Why were you two fighting?"

"I told him that you knew that he likes you and then it escalated very quickly."

"He's acting like a fucking child," You mutter under your breath.

"You can't exactly blame him. How would you feel if Seungmin didn't like you back?"

"I wouldn't be throwing a temper tantrum about it, that's for sure. He's 21 years old but he's acting like a toddler who didn't get his way. He can't get mad at me for not liking him back."

You finish cleaning up the blood on the floor just as Jisung walks back into the room. His nose is noticeably swollen and red, already forming a bruise. He has a cut on the bridge of his nose. He refuses look at you or Felix as he lays on his bed.

"Get out, both of you." He says loudly.

"This is Lix's room too. You can't just kick him out." You argue.

"Y/n, it's fine. Let's just let him cool off," Felix says softly as he ushers you out of the room. Closing the door behind him. You take another deep breath before pushing Felix into your room and leaving him to get him an ice pack.

—

Buy me a coffee?

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dlamp-dictator · 2 months

Text

Okay, Let's Talk About 5 - 30

So, this horrid stage has probably stumped a lot of folks, especially folks that aren't used to the typical Project Moon Bullshit™ of having to fail about 10+ times before you actually figure out the answer to the puzzle the game is giving you... and RNG screwing you over. Mostly that last one, but occasionally Project Moon does throw out some damn tough puzzles to solve.

And with Chapter 5.5 now out I wanted to make a quick guide on how to get through this stage so people can actually beat Canto 5, rush through the Christmas event, and have access to 5.5 before it ends in a month. I'll... debate on explaining how to kill Siltcurrent/Neon Whale/That FUCKING ASSHOLE PARALYZING BIG NUMBERS ASS HAVIN-

But that's for another time.

And yes folks, people have been legitimately stuck on this stage to the point of some people having been barred from the Christmas event because of it. And the most I've seen of people actually helping with this boss in terms of guides and advice is the general fandom being some real assholes about reading passive and showing of their Base Ishmael solo clears without actually explaining anything. But I'm not here to whine about the fandom, I'm here to help with this stage.

Now usually, this is the part where I'd usually give a synopsis for the followers and mutuals that would like context to my long ramblings, but this is an endgame stage and the process of explaining Project Moon games in depth to people unfamiliar with them gives my stomach ulcers so I'll cut my usual fluff and get to the advise.

The Short Answer

For those of you wanting to just know the basics of how to survive this stage here's the brass tacks:

Stagger Ricardo twice to "win"

Don't kill Ricardo's two goons, just clash with them (ideally with a tank ID with aggro) to avoid buffing him further.

Ishmael is quasi-immortal and won't die so long as there's a surviving Sinner in play, so she can tank damage easily.

Use tremor IDs to make staggering easier during his "Test of Big Brother" phase

Use Ishmael's base EGO ASAP to make clashing for her easier.

Alright, with that said, here's some more details about the boss fight.

The Long Answer

I know I said this before, but it's worth repeating. This is endgame content. At this point of the game Project Moon expects you to have that Season Pass at least half finished, at least three teams of Sinners with good synergy (having teams for Charge, Tremor, Rupture, etc.), and have at least some meta IDs. This is not an unreasonable ask either. Most of us started between Seasons 1 & 2 and should have at least a solid team or six made already, a lot of the gacha resources are easy to obtain with patience, and you should have a decent understanding of the game's general mechanics by now. You can only be so ignorant before the failure is ultimately your fault, and while Ricardo definitely has some bullshit to him, most of his puzzle pieces are understandable after the fifth attempt.

I don't say this to insult you guys, but I know a lot of people stuck on this stage are also people that have been speedrunning the content and are now running into a wall as they've pushed further than what the game expected and probably don't have the game knowledge or resources to get through a very blatant knowledge & resource check. Yes, I've seen the Base ID & Base EGO clears too, but those are from people very used to Project Moon Bullshit™ and are outliers.

Now, with all that preamble out the way, here's the general idea.

This is a semi-survival stage where you have to not defeat Ricardo, but reach his second stagger threshold in about 5-7 turns. The biggest issue with this fight is that you've been doing a lot of mindless non-focus fights where you just needed the correct damage type (pierce in this case) to Win-Rate your way to victory. This stage is different in that you have to build a completely different team (tremor ideally), and be mindful of the Middle's general passives where they can get up to 5 Offense Level for getting their team slaughtered, making all of their clashes go up by one or two points. Along with this, the Little Brothers' attacks can debuff your team with Paralyze and Plus-Coin Power Drop, some of the most crippling debuffs in the game for your team outside of very specific IDs.

But you likely already know all of this and have reached the Ricardo part of the stage several times already. Here's the important bits you probably didn't realize.

Don't Kill the Goons

You might have noticed Ricardo gets super buffed when you kill his goons and makes COUPON BLAST™ all the more terrifying. Yeah, the man gets some rather bullshit power-ups if you kill or focus-fire the goons. I understand the though-process of killing the Debuffers and then wailing on Ricardo, but don't. Just beat their clashes and deal with them. The paralyze is crippling, but use a tank for those if you can since tanks (usually) don't do high damage anyway. Plus-Coin Power Drop is annoying, but for units that have big single-coin nukes or use EGO for nukes, this isn't as crippling as Paralyze and is the lesser of two debuffs. Just deal with the goons being there and try and focus most of the damage on Ricardo. The goons have a phase where they both block so you can just focus on Ricardo too, so hold out until then.

Oh, and speaking of tanking debuffs.

Ishmael is Immortal on this Stage

Ish is a mandatory character in this stage and has a sort of quasi-immortality along with a passive called Last-Ditch Struggle. So long as there's at least one surviving Sinner on the team aside from Ishmael herself her won't go below 1 HP. Along with this, she has a unique passive for this stage called Last Ditch Struggle, which gives her additional clash power when at low health. This isn't to say Ish is invincible or anything, but it does give you an edge in the fight. Combined with Snagharpoon's Compulsion passive (the EGO passive, not the debuff on Ish) you can get an additional clashing power about about three, which makes a huge difference against Ricardo's stupid-high numbers. You can use her with something like a fully threadspun Roseate Desire with either Awakening or Corrosion depending on the sanity level and it'll do insane work.

"But Allen, I don't have Rosea-"

Get it. 400 Ishmael shards isn't as big an ask as it was in Canto 2 or 3. You're in endgame now, you should know what you need and should have a few EGO nukes for bosses like this. Roseate Desire or Ryoshu's Blind Obsession. You should have at least one of these by now to survive Ricardo's more devastating attacks aside from COUPON BLAST™. If you really rushed the content this much then just chill out, wait until you've caught to the the season pass to at least give Blind Obsession Ryoshu, and then continue on.

Speaking of endgame content.

Have a Tremor Team

So, you might have noticed during Ricardo's big defense phases he'll have this interesting debuff called "Test of Big Brother", this usually gives him 5 bind next turn, guaranteeing you can safely clash him, along with doubling the damage he takes and increasing the effect of Tremor Burst. And like I said before, this is a fight where you have to reach his second stagger threshold to win. This is phase of the fight is essentially your final warning to get him to that point before COUPON BLAST™ happens and you're team is wiped in two turns.

Not that second part of Tremor Burst's effects behind doubled. It means you can probably get him to stagger by that point if you've got your nukes handy. And surprisingly, a Tremor team isn't a big investment either. Base Ish, Heath, and Meursault all have tremor application, and Ish's base EGO can inflict Tremor Burst at Threadspin 4. And there are several Tremor IDs that are cheap like N Corp Don, LCCB Ish and Rosespanner Meursault. There's are some other good Tremor IDs like Rosespanner Rodion and Molar Outis, but one's a 3-Star and one's a limited 3-Star, so I'd hold off on those unless you wanna' hunt down someone's friend's list.

Oh right, last bit of advice before I sign off on this.

Using the Damn Friend's List

A lot of us forget this is a thing, but there is a Friends/Support function in the game. You can send a request to people who have fully kitted Sinners you'd need for your team to fill in gaps you can't yet. I don't know the effect this had some stuff like EX clear yet, but if you're speed-running to get to the current event then just use the damn support system and build a decent tremor team to get through this. For the next while I'll have Regret Faust on mine to help some folks, but this is for a limited time only until I can go back to how I like to keep my Company listing. You can also just search around until you find someone with the sinner you need.

And... that's about everything I can tell you about 5-30. Even once you get passed this stage there's still about two or three more little road blocks in the way before you can fully completely the Canto, but this was the more frustrating on out of the four so I wanted to go over it a little. Sorry if I sounded harsh here or there, but I really wanna' stress this is an endgame stage and shouldn't be taken lightly. Limbus Company has it's fair share of bullshit but fair and unfair, but this stage is only slightly unfair until you realize the mechanics around it. Then you can do those Base Ishmael solo clears. I won't because that's hard as hell, but it's something.

Anyways, I'll be seeing you folks later.

#limbus company #your dictator is speaking

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samscorch · 5 months

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@12daysofhatchetfield Day 1: Cookies! (I know I'm late, I'm gonna try my best to catch up lol)

"So you've really never made Christmas cookies before?" Peter asks gently, setting aside the rolling pin and picking up a snowman-shaped cookie cutter. He stamped it into the sugary dough, sticking towards the outside to maximize the amount they could use.

"Nah. Or if I did, it was a long time ago. When my mom was still around, or something." She says it as nonchalantly as possible, but Peter can see a small glimmer of sadness in her eyes. He's about to comfort her, reaching out a hand when Steph suddenly scoops up some of the dough on her finger and pops it in her mouth. She hums in delight at the taste, and Pete rolls his eyes, elbowing her gently.

"You're not supposed to eat it raw, you know-"

"Yeah yeah, I could get Salmonella or some shit from the eggs, I know," she chuckles, glancing at the rest of the cookie cutters spread upon the counter. She opts for a gingerbread man, pausing as she goes to stamp it down. An idea flits across her mind, and she smirks.

"Actually, that's a misconception. Sure, the eggs could make you sick, but it's the flour that's more dangerous. It can carry E. Coli *and* Salmonella, and-" he cuts himself off as Steph stamps the gingerbread shape into the middle of the dough, her tongue peeking from between her teeth as she grins.

She barely holds in a laugh at the offended little noise Peter makes beside her, steeling herself and returning to a neutral expression as she turns to him. She bats her eyelashes at the now bewildered Peter, putting on the most saccharine voice she can muster. "What's wrong? I thought you wanted me to stop eating the dough?"

Try as she might, Pete immediately clocks her bullshit. She can play innocent as much as she pleases, but he recognizes the mischievous glint in her eyes, and her smile lines are a dead giveaway. He can't stay annoyed at her, though. Not with the way his heart squeezes at the mere sight of her.

Fighting back a smile, he grabs a stocking shape and presses it beside the cutout she had just made. "Usually I try to keep them as close as possible. We won't waste as much that way. Then, after that, we can eat the leftover dough. Deal?"

Steph grins, brushing her hands off on her pants and bringing them up to cup Pete's face. She kisses him briefly, reveling in the way his face turns bright red from the unexpectedness of it. When she pulls away, she gently presses their foreheads together, giggling. "Only you would have cookie making down to a science, Spankoffski."

#12 days of hatchetfield #hatchetfield #starkid #fanfic #npmd #nerdy prudes must die #steph lauter #pete spankoffski #stephanie lauter #peter spankoffski #they make me so ill I love writing them #lautski

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ryuichirou · 5 months

Note

I'm back with my GloMas ask. By the way I love the word GloMas: it's like Christmas but more theatrical and angsty, and at the end of all the celebration, instead of getting presents, you end up with less stuff than before (no need to check Ruggie's luggage, officer. I can assure there's nothing interesting there).

On to the question, which is partially about Ruggie. This event has brought to light a new interesting dynamic that I hadn't really considered before, with the Ruggie/Jamil team up. It's nice to see Jamil be himself (i.e. a menace) more unapologetically than usual. I don't really ship them as a "couple", but I definetely see their appeal as potential "acquaintances-with-benefits". And I bet Ruggie would be happy to hear less grumbling when he decides to pay a visit to the rich boys Scarabia dorm. Basically, I'm curious to know if you guys have any thoughts about these two, both related to the event and in general!

Anon!! Sorry for the late reply, and let me go grab that loud mic I used a couple of days ago once again and tell you.

YES. These two. These two are very good together.

For the most part I want to just yell YES at everything you’ve said because you’ve honestly nailed it. Glorious Masquerade (with its Christmas-like Glomas glory..) was the first event we’d seen (even before we watched the main story), so Jamil and Ruggie’s unexpected chemistry is something that we have in mind at all times lol

It really feels like they can be themselves around each other, which is exactly what they said, and honestly these two out of the entire cast really deserved it. What they also deserved is to have someone to complain about the harsh realities of serving to capricious princes (Kalim isn’t a prince but) who are unreasonable and frankly stupid at times. Just imagine THE LEVELS OF PETTY AND TIRED VENTING, their venting sessions could be the best.

I don’t know if you wanted any headcanons with them, but since we’re at it, might as well drop some. These are mostly sfw, but the last one kind of isn’t lol

They knew that they might be a good match even before the Glorious Masquerade but never really had a chance to hang out before that. And during the event, to them it felt like they’ve been having telepathic dialogues for ages, and now finally they get to actually chat. They’re on the same page TO SUCH A DEGREE it’s actually stupid.

Even after the event, even though both Ruggie and Jamil went back to being super busy, they kept in touch. Sometimes they text each other, sometimes they meet simply to VENT. Having another person who is done of everyone’s bullshit in this stupid school is a blessing. They also talk about other stuff, like cooking and hobbies and even scheming and such, but their main topic is still “wow I hate these people”.

What they find the most comforting about each other is the fact that they know they are not really friends, but they also don’t have much to gain from each other, so it’s not like they should expect a backstab at any point. It’s actually pretty rare for Jamil to be this relaxed like he is when he is around Ruggie.

They don’t have sex regularly, but they did it once during the Masquerade event and at least once when they came back to the NRC. Both of them aren’t too into sex, otherwise it probably would have happened more often. Ruggie is actually a much better option to have this “acquaintances-with-benefits” deal than Azul, because with Ruggie Jamil can be sure there won’t be any feelings attached to it: they’ll help each other out and will be on their merry way…

#replies #headcanons

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simplegenius042 · 5 months

Text

What do your OCs carry on their person? + "What Kind Of Suffering Is Your OC?" Quiz

Tagged by @inafieldofdaisies @socially-awkward-skeleton and @deputy-morgan-malone for the former and tagged by @adelaidedrubman and @g0dspeeed for the latter.

Tagging @shallow-gravy @strangefable @jillvalentinesday @josephslittledeputy @derelictheretic @voidika @onehornedbeast @vampireninjabunnies-blog @minilev @neverthesameneveranother @nightbloodbix @wrathfulrook @direwombat @chazz-anova @cassietrn and @strafethesesinners

(I can't seem to tag @josephseedismyfather's blog, are they alright?)

The quiz can be found here.

Will do the main protagonists of my series (The UnTitledverse, Far Cry The Silver Chronicles, Life, Despair & Monsters and Wings And Horns).

Joaquin Cobalt (during Phase One, at least) -> Joaquin has got a short sword, a pocketknife, a revolver, ammo for the revolver, paperclips and bobby pins (for lockpicking), a notepad he uses to take notes of the universe he's stuck in, any deodorant, shampoo and conditioner he can find, testosterone prescriptions, rations, canteen of water, any spare clothes he can buy (or steal/scavenge... he is likely being hunted by the Chairman at this point in his life after all, and currency doesn't always stay the same in each universe), three polaroid pictures that all include himself with Lisa, Maisie and Mario & Calvin, respectively. He has a scarf, boots, an umbrella and goggles for extra protection from the environment. Also a mechanical contraption that allows him to travel to a different universe (he's trying to get back to his old original one). He also has specialized binoculars that can switch to nightvision when needed.

Sylvester Silva Omar -> On person Silva usually has a handgun, an ornate knife called the "Silver Dragon" (something she took from Paul), regular binoculars, two radios (one to coordinate with the Resistance and listen in on Eden's Gate, the other to call Kamski because her flip phone doesn't have any service, LOL), her now useless Nokia flip phone, her house key to Omar's Residence (where she spends her time alone and unbothered, having meals, showers and rest, as well as hiding from the Christmas snow), Elsa's lodge key, her deputy badge, cuffs (which she forgets she has on until much, much later), her golden locket (inside it is the only remaining picture that Elsa took of Silva with Irene and an infant Persephone), a small backpack (which usually holds extra clothes, a water bottle, medical supplies from Kamski as well as additional weapons and ammo), gas mask for when she eventually decides she's sick of the Bliss' bullshit (after being attacked by an angel or bear that she thought was a civilian for the umpteenth time). She did have prescribed medicine for her PTSD, but that has since run out, and the Hope County Clinic had either been pillaged by Eden's Gate or can't replenish their supplies since the county is on lockdown. She does have Joseph's Word for a while before giving it back to Faith. Eventually Silva also gets glasses between her time in the bunker after the Collapse and during Old Dusk (the New Dawn arc), as well as a crossbow (because I think she deserves one), not to mention the ring.

Haoyu Anabuki - Haoyu is the one with the least amount of shit. A wallet, phone (which has a screenshot of the Literature Club as the opening image which includes Haoyu themself, their sibling Monika, and both their friends Sayori, Yuri and Natsuki), antibiotics and reading glasses is the most you get from them. Anything else is stashed in their little pocket dimension. I'm sure the others here would be looking to kick Haoyu's ass for being the second person with the least amount of stuff to carry.

Archangel Metatron - Because first goes to Metatron, a literal archangel who's clothes are part of his disguise, and only really has a flaming sword to worry about.

BONUS Azriel - Poor girl doesn't have enough pockets to carry every shiny thing she sees. But to recap; in Azriel's years as an Angel of Death, she only carried around a hood, cloak and two sickles. Justified, she's technically dead and an immortal soul doing Death's deeds, so she's kind of omnipresent and omnipotent. But in her mortal years as a child, she tries to pocket and carry way too many things, sometimes her own creations, and has a bayonet pistol as well as several explosives she built or stole herself. As an adult, Azriel has heavier weapons (like a bayonet minigun) and better explosives, plus cogs and other doohickeys that she uses as accessories or utilizes for uses not for their initial purpose (like a hair tie). She also has hair dye just in case her dark hair starts showing again. And plenty of fake badges and ID card.

Now onwards to the suffering of the Antagonists! Since I just did the protagonists I thought it was only fair the antagonists got to shine.

First up!

Edward Carmine (The UnTitledverse, The Perfect Storm saga)

While I do agree that Edward is experiencing a kind of despair, he is too focused on his own superiority-complex to even consider that this isn't healthy. He is too ambitious to worry about trivial things like hope. He is too unsympathetic and without empathy towards his own downfalls to even reflect on his actions. Edward believes the world works a certain way, and he will have it focused on him whether it likes it or not.

Father Adam Omar (Far Cry The Silver Chronicles, Silva's Hope fic)

Adam Omar is the result of living up to the horrible expectations of a shitty society based on class (that he proceeds to make worse), groomed by the previous Prophet Omar and the Voice with words of importance and righteousness, as well as several unspecified disorders (plus biological factors) that the Congregation could care less about doing anything about. Though these do not at all justify any of the heinous shit he does to everyone, including his own children. Proceeding, "The Taker" most definitely describes Adam. Though I highly doubt Adam would ever change his mindset, especially when it has proven successful for him thus far.

Sir Enigma Malvolio (Life Despair & Monsters)

I'm unsure about this one. Malvolio really is the person who spreads despair on anyone he meets through his unethical "social experiments". He's a creature from an alternate dimension disguised as a human, I highly doubt he believes in concepts like "hope" and "religion". He is hooked entirely on the unethical side of science. He wants to help humans "evolve" but really he wants to satisfy his own "itch" and twisted curiosity (plus his Darwinist/dog-eat-dog ideology).

Xiang Ba'al (Wings And Horns, Original Work)

Xiang, a demon from the Sloth Ring of Hell, the last creature anyone, not even Metatron, would expect to go on a mission to dismantle the Soulmate System after he sees the consequences of it after finding the damned soul of a ten-year-old girl named Jezebel (that he adopts) wandering in Hell after a horrible confrontation in the mortal realm. Xiang believes he is giving humans an opportunity to remove their soulmarks (or soulbrands, which are arguably worse), which in his POV, is a curse that has plagued the mortal realms for far too long. Problem is (besides the extremism and forcing people to do so against their will) Xiang doesn't have a lot of runes nor the energy to power those runes (due to being a Sloth Demon) in order to successfully eradicate the soulmate system (leaving him to comprise a plan to make as much noise as possible to show the Gods that "hey, your system is broken beyond repair!"). While Jezebel dislikes the extremism, she finds Xiang caring enough for her to dismantle a system that completely fucked her over despite the consequences he could face is very touching. It's the thought that counts, in Jezebel's opinion.

And BONUS...

Urijah Callaghan (The UnTitledverse, The Omniscience Rule and The UnTitled Ventures sagas)

Urijah has an extremely nihilistic outlook in life, not helping that Madame Callaghan (his parental figure/kidnapper) pushes him further into this extreme form of nihilism. He did care at one point. He really did. But now to him, nothing matters. Except for his mission to wipe the multiverse and everyone in it from existence with a bomb he designed. Even his companions from Cognito, Inc. Including his closest companion, Reagan Ridley. He views it as a kind of mercy than living under Zachariah's cruel and callous hand.

#oc quiz #the untitledverse #oc: joaquin cobalt #oc: edward carmine #oc: urijah callaghan #far cry the silver chronicles #oc: silva omar #oc: father adam omar #life despair & monsters #oc: haoyu anabuki #oc: sir enigma malvolio #wings and horns #oc: archangel metatron #oc: xiang ba’al #original work #and lastly an oc who is in like three of these series #oc: azriel

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