#it’s truly not too bad it’s mostly just symbolic stuff
Text
Content Warning: Bloody imagery, implied gore (it’s just pomegranates), and symbolic cannibalism (bro is traumatized)
It’s literally just dramatic pomegranate poetry visualization, but look at your own risk 😎
“I had thought Adha would be the one to lead me to rest… Instead, I held her lifeless body in my arms — saw the terror in her fixed, unblinking eyes…”
*Foams at the mouth* Altaïr and pomegranate poetry and how everyone he loves in his life dies horrible deaths that he feels are all his fault and *shaking* being ready to leave everything behind for Adha only to seek the remnants of her love by destroying those that ruined her which only rids the world of the remnants of her left behind and all consuming love and *sobbing* I am totally normal about this (I am not)
Based heavily on this post
#assassin’s creed#altaïr ibn la’ahad#ac1#adha#ac fanart#my art#cw: blood#cw: mild gore#cw: cannibalism#ask to tag#it’s truly not too bad it’s mostly just symbolic stuff#this might become a small series bc I’m thinking abt doing one for Maria and Malik too#Altaïr is so cannibalistic love coded and I’m upset#when Adha died Altaïr gave up on a normal life and that makes me upset#bc Adha at the time was the like one person that made Altaïr feel normal and not some weapon to be used and manipulated and misconstrued#bro thought he would never love again BRO THOUGHT HE WOULD NEVER LOVE AGAIN!!!#by killing all the Templars involved he killed her memory too as though consuming her love for himself and I’m I’ll#*ill I’m not redoing that tag LOL#there’s so much symbolism here y’all have fun w that#anyways sorry Altaïr love ya babes
86 notes
·
View notes
Text
When things start to fail
SandRay edition
Yes, me again talking about SandRay as I’m their personal therapist good for me I guess. Disclaimer: I do not judge nor Sand or Ray, the most important thing to remember is that all of characters are young stupid insecure boys so everything happening makes a lot of sense. Also let’s remember that it is not about good/bad or right/wrong, it’s about complexity people and their relationships have.
So, this week they’ve reached an interesting point, haven’t they? The point when their mostly surprisingly good communications stars to fall apart. And it was inevitable. Nick and especially Boston don’t minding their own business certainly accelerated the process, but at some point it was going to happen anyway. Because the ultimate question “who are we to each other” been hanging over their heads for some time now and do my boys tried their best to avoid it. But let’s start from so-so good things.
SandRay day together. Ray goes for it like it’s an adventure, not someones real life experience. And of course he is - Ray lives in a different world and Sand’s hardships are not something he’s familiar with. @lurkingshan made a great post about how Ray constantly sees Sand as someone beneath him at well of course he is. And I love what @neuroticbookworm says here that Ray does it unintentionally - that’s just not something he ever experienced in his life. Ray is shamelessly rich and he was like this all his life. I would very surprised if he behaved differently.
That’s interesting tho - I think Ray sincerely enjoys every experience he has with Sand. And in some way he sees Sand as embodiment of freedom. For Ray a lot of it is about wind in a face, and listening new music, and laughing, and drinking, and kissing, and flirting and almost jerking off but no and not thinking about his real problems. For Sand it’s his life. It’s tough and exhausting, but still worth living.
Sand’s 24 hours. I truly appreciate Sand’s approach to life. He tells us that he has 24 hours in a day to work, sleep, being alone and - what I love about him - to dream. And I’m not saying that his life isn’t hard, it absolutely is. But despite that he still has some little things to enjoy. He dreams big. He makes beautiful breakfasts and knows places where to find good music. He has fun in a secondhand store. He finds his happiness in discovering new bands. He allows himself to get drunk and get high.
And I don’t think he never does any of it before Ray. But Ray is important, because Ray is someone he can share all this things with. And while Ray constantly being a bit jerk about that he is really into everything Sand gives to him (subtext here was unintentional but yes, sex is obviously a part of it too). And maybe Ray’s presence allows Sand to let himself go with a flow a bit more. Maybe Ray also symbolizes freedom for Sand.
And I believe that freedom is something both of them desperately need - Ray from his painful past, Sand from his exhausting present. And it all would be so good, it was mostly good for a lot of time, but. Hints were all there since the beginning.
Communication falling apart. So we see them generally enjoying each other. We see them being open and honest with each other. The whole scene where they discuss parents is about trust and vulnerability and it deserves its own post.
Very good-friends-behavior happening here. But also kind of not. And not only because them being ready to fuck each other on a constant basis. Which was hilarious by the way - three attempts to get nasty and all being ruined (1. Thank you Nick; 2. Sand being not so into public sex I guess I don’t believe him for a second he’s clearly into it but whatever; 3. Thank you Nick again and now you bring the whole drama with you good job). But all this cute boyfriends stuff happens left and right? Hugging and smiling on a ride?
Being so into each other that random girl said bye bless you?
Fucking serenade?
Like, guys, you’re not even trying. And they don’t talk about it at all. The last attempt to clarify their relationship was in episode 3 with Sand asking what kind of friends doesn’t stop kissing each other. And than they just. Moved on and never questioned it again?
They are the only couple (of the main three) in the show who doesn’t discuss their status. Even Nick and Boston do it! They are suck at it but it’s at least something. And it’s like Sand and Ray played a bit too much in going with a flow thing.
Sand tells this to his mom
And he seems really upset when Ray says that are friends
And again when Ray says not boyfriend fuck off Nick
And I get it, it really sucks. He is totally in love and his heart breaks a little bit twice in a row.
But it’s Sand who said that
And that
And that one like couple hours ago
So I feel for Sand and I am really sorry for him - my boy fell fast and hard but it’s not like Ray has any idea what Sand wants from him. Oh, wait, he has. Kind of. And he actually tries to make amends and clear the situation. Kind of.
It’s Sand this time who closes up, loosing to his fears and insecurities - and I would guess his last relationship has something to do with this. And of course Ray doesn’t push him into that conversation after one failed attempt. Because he is totally scared of ruining things. And it is so much easier to continue to pretend, for both of them, isn’t it?
It’s also smart thing to not having that conversation before they sober up but will they talk? I doubt it. Also is Ray ever sober, he has a serious problem, my poor boy. Him finishing two glasses of liquor in a row after fight was painful to watch. But I digress.
And the thing is - it isn’t even that tragic. Yes, Ray has feelings for Mew - he tries to move on, he doesn’t expect anything, but feelings (especially so long-lasted) doesn’t go away in a moment. And Ray has a right to falling for Sand while still falling out of Mew. Shit like this happens a lot in real life. It doesn’t mean Sand isn’t special to him only because someone else is.
And I kind of think that they would work it out somewhat fine. Not great, but fine. But here it is, our Boston card. Yes, I blame Boston, that’s my conclusion.
Conclusion. Judging by what we saw in trailer I’m gonna predict that this episode was a start for both Sand and Ray being miscommunication mess. Because both of them are falling for each other. And both are very scared of it.
This is not going to be easy. They will pretend they don’t care for each other and most importantly - that they have no expectations towards each other. They clearly have. We see it with Sand and the moment Sand decides fuck it I’m done we will see it with Ray.
This shit needs a lot of hard work. Will they be able to go for that? Do they even need it? I don’t know. Let’s hope that they will. Or at least that they won’t ruin each other totally over failed relationship.
#I am not totally delusional but I’m also a simp what can I say#I so hope they will figure it out tbh#they are mess but they are my mess and I love them#really Ray’s drinking problem scares me way more than all that feeling stuff#only friends#only friends meta#only friends the series#ofts#sandray#firstkhao#firstkhaotung#first kanaphan#khaotung thanawat
37 notes
·
View notes
Note
Wiat stop omggg i’ve been reading these posts about the anti-Hinata Hyuga stuff and how she is infact privileged and ngl it lowkey hurt but also omfg???? I never realized how bad the Hyuga situation was or how Hinata is unable to pick a side, I just assumed she’d obviously dissolve the slavery practices because I see her as a good person(and i read too much fanfiction)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA now i definitely need Hiashi to die in the war and for Neji to become leader(yeah no Hinata can’t lead to save her life) because it would be such a good step to take down the old system by replacing it with a Neji as a symbol of change. Media is making me go crazy again but that’s probably my room mold 😭😭😭😭
Also the Naruhina fan in me kinda wishes that Naruto learned sealing from Pervy sage because like imagine if they worked together to make a new Hyuga seal to actually protect the byakugan and then it gets worn as a clan marking, like the red fangs from the inuzuka and oh my god im so sorreybfor rambling all over this asks i just really really want more Hyuga content and for ny faves to be happy, also you are really well omg id love to have ur attention span for politics because i can barely understand my highschool civics like ibshoudl probably stop now-have a nice day!!!!!✨
Hello there,
It's okay to like a problematic character and it's okay to like a ship, the problem starts when people justify such problematic characteristics to make them "acceptable", like justifying Neji's treatment at the hands of the Main Family because he was "mean" to Hinata, despite him warning her about fighting him and asking her to forfeit multiple times.
I never realized how bad the Hyuga situation was or how Hinata is unable to pick a side
I'm sorry to be the one to tell you, but Hinata chose a side. Ignoring the matter or not giving it the relevance that it has even after her cousin's speech during their match or his match vs. Naruto, is to actively support the system in place; she might truly believe that is for the "greater good," as so his Konoha's mantra, but it doesn't change the fact that she agrees with the practice.
I just assumed she’d obviously dissolve the slavery practices because I see her as a good person(and i read too much fanfiction)
I don't see her as a good person for the reasons mentioned above, no good person sees her uncle being tortured and her cousin being enslaved and believes to be the bigger victim in their dynamic. Furthermore, she did pretty much nothing for anyone who wasn't Naruto; being shy and quiet is not the same as being a good person; she never mentioned being kind-spirited and thus, unable to be a shinobi (like Chöji, which was a full small arc of his character when fighting the Sound Four), but rather, weak.
now i definitely need Hiashi to die in the war and for Neji to become leader
I understand your wish for Hiashi to die, but Neji succumbing to his fate put an end to the "Hyuga's conundrum" as that's an issue that involves Konoha in itself and not addressing it in Boruto would've been a major problem; furthermore, the problem wasn't just about stopping the Main Family from creating slaves but also them giving reparations to those they enslaved, like Neji. His death was also used to give Hinata a "moment" with Naruto.
(yeah no Hinata can’t lead to save her life)
She can't, not just because she's weak (Shikamaru doesn't shine because he's particularly strong, he isn't), but also because she often puts her wishes above the safety of those under her command (Koü Hyüga) and can't come up with a basic strategy to fight her opponents. She perhaps modeled her attack pattern following Naruto's (who mostly attacks before coming up with a strategy, as he often relies on overwhelming his enemies), as she often states to look up to him and has spied on him multiple times, but he's far more strong and has much more chakra (plus healing chakra) than her.
Also the Naruhina fan in me kinda wishes that Naruto learned sealing from Pervy sage
I'm not sure Jiraiya knew much about sealing techniques (we only see him erasing Orochimaru's seal), Minato learned from Kushina and not him. Tsunade is likely far more versed on the matter and she never even attempted to take Neji's seal off, so that's where the village stands on the matter.
have a nice day!!!!!✨
Thank you. You too.
19 notes
·
View notes
Text
BAD BUDDY EPISODE 5 – NOTES ON THE OPENING SCENE
The opening scene of Ep.5 (including the follow-up post-intro and credits) is one of my favorites (if not the favorite of all) in Bad Buddy Series.
After all the heavy-hitting emotions at the close of Ep.4, Director Backaof and the writers take us on a big leap into the sunshine with this scene, and the tone is light, cheerful and comedic. It also tells us how Pran, so emotionally bruised and battered at the end of Ep.4, is actually really made of tough stuff inside and has bounced back with a vengeance, as he must always have done in the past.
But looking beyond the shiny, happy surface of this scene, there's actually so much going on in the waters beneath, with significant details winking out messages of meaningful connection to other parts of the narrative, that will solidify into quite a number of Aha! and OMG! moments when viewed in the context of other episodes.
The scene starts off with Pat awakening to the smell of cooking fumes and mistaking it for a fire – this is a set-up foreshadowing its parallel in the opening scene of Ep.8, but with the roles reversed (which is BBS signaling the direction of Ep.8 – Pat and Pran switching things up and learning to see each other's point of view).
At the start of Ep.5 though, Pat and Pran slip easily back into their usual dynamic of tussling and teasing.
There's more grouchiness on display from Pran, but it's all for show and Pat knows it – he pokes and prods at Pran's peevishness (from Ep.5 [1I4] 2.37) until it gives way and we see the true fondness behind the façade (Ep.5 [1I4] 2.59), with Pran giving in to Pat's pleading and allowing him to stay on in the apartment.
Actually Pat had been displaying a constant (if unconscious) desire to worm his way into Pran's personal space ever since Ep.1, culminating in his repeated attempts to spend time in Pran's apartment (including forgetting his keys twice, with the second bout of amnesia successfully landing him the chance to bunk over). And his joy at succeeding really shows in his expressions and energy level – the loutish, brooding Pat that we saw at the start of Ep.1 has been truly banished by this point.
The breakfast that we see Pran making for himself is condensed milk on toast – it's what we see him making and eating as part of his morning routine at Ep.2 [1I4] 2.02 (the tube of condensed milk is just visible at timestamp Ep.2 [1I4] 2.05).
And of course the tube of condensed milk will be significant later on in this episode – as the breakfast toast that Pat snatches away and chomps down has (probably) used up the last of the milk, we see later in Ep.5 that Pat will leave a little sticky note (with a smiley that Pran loves) promising to buy him some more (which he does, but then is regretfully unable to give to Pran – in the scene after the confrontation with Wai the milk becomes a forlorn symbol of all that is still unsaid and unresolved between Pat and Pran).
It may be just a coincidence (and then again, maybe not, given how much nudge-nudge wink-wink there is in Bad Buddy) but the tube of condensed milk may also be BBS nodding at another BL trope. It's a sweet dairy product with a prominent pink rose – making me think of SOTUS and pink milk here. 🤔
Anyway, Pran doesn't go hungry even though his breakfast toast has been stolen by a big hungry dog – he grabs one of the breakfast sausages he's prepared and munches on that before he leaves.
Ignoring any possible Freudian connotations for the moment, what this does suggest – when viewed in tandem with his breakfast in Ep.2 [1I4] – is that separate from Pran's usual condensed milk on toast, he'd prepared a second, more elaborate breakfast of sausages and a fried egg with a prettily-arranged side salad too (who goes to all that trouble on a school day?), which he then leaves (mostly) untouched for Pat when he goes off to faculty.
Despite all the (faux) animosity on display, it looks like Pran had actually thought of Pat as well while making breakfast, and he didn't spare any effort to make sure his beloved would get to eat too. (This little bit of culinary domesticity is echoed later on as well, when we see Pran has added that little extra TLC to Pat's breakfast at Ep.8 [2/4] 6.17 after they become a couple.) 😊
We already know that two boys aren't enemies at all. But what the opening scene of Ep.5 is making abundantly clear is that they're also really close, and that they fundamentally do care a lot about each other despite all the prickliness on display.
So when Pran finger-splashes Pat at Ep.5 [1I4] 3.36, there's actually a bit of unspoken wordplay going on (bear with me on this).
Pran also does this at the kitchen sink after they're coupled up, at Ep.9 [2/4] 5.27. (And for those who've been watching The Eclipse, Akk also splashes Ayan like this in at least two scenes.) I hadn't noticed it at first, and you don't need to know the underlying meaning for the gesture still to be read correctly as a teasing jibe, but it's still a fun linguistic detail.
One of the Thai words for splash is สาด (pronounced something like saat), and it can be used in a euphemism for one of the rudest insults – ai-saat, which in its most offensive form means a*hole (spelt ไอ้สัส, apologies to any Thai readers out there).
The ai part is a rude honorific used for males (there's a different one if the target of the insult is female). We get to hear Pran calling Pat a version of ai-saat (that the subtitles also translate as a*hole) at Ep.4 [1I4] 14.37, during his meltdown after a sweaty Pat tries to get Pran better-acquainted with his rugby tank top (and which is also a clue to us that Pran is only prim and proper when social formalities require him to be – he's a truer version of himself when it's just him and Pat, and sometimes it seems he's capable of serving worse than post-Ep.1 sweetheart Napat Jindapat). 😂
Ai-saat meaning a*hole is sometimes replaced with ไอ้สัตว์, also pronounced quite similarly. With this spelling the saat means beast or creature. This is less offensive but still very rude, especially since it still puns on the a*hole meaning. (Actually both the euphemisms are pronounced slightly differently than the a*hole version of ai-saat, but the allusion would be clear to Thai speakers.)
For more info, these puns on the original ai-saat are discussed in the Pantip forum linked here.
So when Pran splays his fingers webslinger-style and sprays Pat with water he's silently (and rudely) calling him ai-saat (and Akk is calling Ayan that too in The Eclipse). Whether it means a*hole or animal is up to you. The latter meaning may not be out of place because Pran also calls Pat "a big clingy dog" at Ep.9 [2/4] 4.25 (while in The Eclipse Akk says "The dog is pretty cute, wouldn't you say?" as he splashes Ayan in the toilet). 😉
And when Pran tells Pat not to touch his stuff at Ep.5 [1I4] 3.13 – I think he's just saying that for the sake of saying it.
He knows Pat is going to be poking around anyway (see Ep.5 [1I4] 5.07), but more importantly he trusts Pat around his belongings. This trust is made crystal clear later when he calls back at Ep.5 [1I4] 4.51 and asks Pat to get some info from his computer, revealing his password to him. Once again we are being told how close the two of them really are.
When Pat pulls up a chair and starts leafing through Pran's sketchbook at Ep.5 [1I4] 4.36, he's finally getting himself acquainted with Pran's private world, and he's more than happy to be doing so. But going more meta, what we're seeing here is actually an explanation for the hijinks of Ep.7, when Pat and Pran compete to see who can make the other confess their love first.
Next to a sketch of the khanom jeep dumplings that Pat had gifted to him (itself an act of courtship), Pran had (I think) written จีบไม่ค่อยเก่งเปลี่ยนเป็นเข่งขนมจีบได้ไหม? which roughly translates to "I'm not very good at flirting. Can we change it to a dumpling basket?"
Now there is a bit wordplay going on here as well. The jeep part of khanom jeep also means to flirt/court/woo while the word for basket (that they steam the dumplings in) is เข่ง (kheng), which is spelt and pronounced only slightly differently from the word แข่ง (khaeng), which in turn means to compete. So – taking the wordplay into account – what Pran wrote can also be read as a veiled "I'm not very good at courtship. Can we change it to a courtship competition instead?"
Since Pran has made it clear here told the world here (via his preferred method of communicating, which is coded and obscured) that he isn't comfortable with conventional courtship, what we see Pat doing later at the end of Ep.6 is really taking him at his word – and together they replace the courtship or dating phase preceding their couplehood with that strange "Who will confess first?" competition in all of Ep.7.
And it kind of makes sense, even if the underlying logic is a bit bizarre, since competition had always been the bedrock of their relationship and would have been comforting and familiar especially for Pran (who up until Ep.10 was staunchly repressing all his emotions).
All of this double entendre is not captured in the subtitles, which is why the Ep.6 bet and the shenanigans of Ep.7 seemed so puzzling at first, barring an explanation of why competition had replaced courtship for the two of them. If you'd like to read more, I've written this up in greater detail at this link here.
So when Pran allows Pat access to his computer (itself another comment on issues of consent in BL), it's revealed that his password is Pransocool – and this is BBS setting up explanations for Pran's state of emotional repression, what's behind the password reveal during Ep.10's khan maak on the Archi steps, the role of Pran's peer mentor P'Joke, and the significance of the password's change to Praninlove later.
Once again the subtitles obfuscate the already oblique meanings (especially when Pat says "Brajao Joke" instead of the "So Cool band" that we read in the subtitles at Ep.5 [1I4] 5.45 and when he calls Pran "Brajao Pran" instead of the "Pransocool" in the subtitles at Ep.5 [1I4] 5.52).
It's way too much to clarify in just this opening scene analysis, but I've written it all up in another essay, linked here (a very long post though). The details about the passwords, Brajao Joke and So Cool band do come together to form one overall explanation, I promise.
Pran's phone call to Pat asking him for a favor here also gets its own parallel at Ep.10 [1I4] 8.21, so in a sense Ep.5's phone call is actually a set-up for Pran's set-up – of Pat, to get him to their khan maak in Ep.10.
The scene then draws to a sweetly nostalgic close with Pat happily poking around Pran's computer, just as he had been poking around Pran's physical stuff just minutes before.
Pat viewing Pran's high school images at Ep.5 [1I4] 6.13 is BBS's own version of Love Actually's scene with Keira Knightley looking at Andrew Lincoln's photographs of her wedding and realizing that she's the true focus of his pining heart. But Pat is a lot more clueless than Keira – the majority of Pran's photographs (at least those we're shown here) have Pat in them, and if this is a sign of Pran's feelings for him, it probably only lands with any weight in Pat's consciousness later on in the episode.
So aside from all the clever reveals and seed-planting, and the closeness demonstrated between Pat and Pran, this scene is also heartwarming because of the joy we get to see in Pat, sniffing contentedly around Pran's apartment like a little puppy who's finally found his forever home. Pat had been unconsciously demonstrating a need to get closer to Pran ever since Ep.1, and I think he was doing that because his unconscious heart knew even then that his true home and happiness would lie wherever Pran was.
But here at the start of Ep.5 it's all a mystery still to Pat's conscious self. Nonetheless, his long overdue awakening will come soon enough as the rest of Episode 5 unfurls. The cheery lightness of this carefully-crafted opening scene is also meant I think to allow us a bit of respite (or lull us into a false sense of calm, for the more cynically inclined), before we are plunged into the heavier and heavier emotional unveiling of later on in the episode, that will culminate in the final blowout of the Epic Rooftop Kiss. 👍
[Afterpost Edit: this post is only for the opening scene of Ep.5. For notes on the rest of the episode, see this link here. 😊]
84 notes
·
View notes
Text
An anonymous user asks:
hello, i was wondering if you could pass a message along to vee? if this is inappropriate to ask i am sorry, but I am honestly too embarrassed to ask any of the Jewish people in my life irl and I think you’re of an age you would understand the question. outside of the “possibly killed his girlfriend but also it might have been someone at the party the night before and so many drugs were involved thing” sid vicious wore… well you know the shirt. i grew up listening to the Sex Pistols and romanticizing the statement “knight in rusted armour” but as a risk of sounding terminally online is it problematic? asking from a place of good faith because you’re not going to sugar coat things but also aren’t going to get out the pitch forks unnecessarily
So! This is based on only my vague (like 1 hour research) understanding of him and his contributions to punk rather than as a guy who comes up a lot in pop culture, like in fanfiction and video games. That all in mind!
If you truly feel you deeply relate to his music, then there's no reason to stop listening to the stuff you already own or anythig drastic. But oh boy are some of the claims I'm reading about egregious.
The good news is, the are what's known as "shock jock" behaviour: controversy seeking rather than a genuine support. This is still very bad to do, don't engage in it. It creates safe environments for actual heartfelt nazis to grow their numbers.
But you have to remember, in the 1970s, it was Not Popular to be a nazi. Not like it is today. It was common enough that everyone sort of know a guy, sure. And antisemitism was getting really bad again in europe. But nazism? Specifically? It wasn't Cool. It was controversial.
Not like today. My goodness we live in the worst fucking timeline.
Whatever. Nazi symbolism was a quick way to cause a controversy back then, is the point.
Logically one can assume the same is true of, for example, writing a song about an extermination camp. Egregious yes, but egregious on purpose because the feelings of jews were not considered relevant compared to the controversy that it would cause.
But fucking shit though, some of this is hard to read about.
This is why it's so important as contemporary punk enjoyers to viciously push back against nazis co-opting the space.
So, in private and with regards to your personal emotions to the artworks? Go enjoy what you enjoy! You aren't hurting someone by privately listening to music.
But in public? As my GF put it, if I heard someone was like... hardcore into this man's work, like to the extent of attending cover band concerts for example? I would expect them to be vocally and passionately anti-nazi before I could trust them.
And, I totally see where someone who just knows the man off google search results would think of him as "guy who maybe killed his Jewish GF after writing songs about extermination camps."
To be clear, I agree that the most probable "suspect" was that someone had a really bad trip. Who? No one knows; everyone was high.
But I see why many Jewish people would be uncomfortable with him, based on a cursory understanding of the situation.
Which is why, if you take your appreciation for his work from private to public, you must. MUST! Be 100% ready to do whatever it takes to keep nazis out of punk in today's world, and to combat antisemitism when it arises in your local spaces.
That's the part that matters.
And in my opinion? Based on the way you approached this, you're doing very well informing yourself on the subject. You had some idea of the issue, and you reached out to someone you trust. I appreciate you doing so.
Also, if you like me mostly knew this guy as, "oh, the anarchy in the UK guy, from guitar hero"... don't feel bad, my friend. I literally had no idea either. I recommend as further reading the short book/essay collection "Oy Oy Oy Gevalt! Jews and Punk" by Michael Croland.
8 notes
·
View notes
Note
fugo w/ 7, 17, 31, 37, 38?
(For this ask game)
7: Travel
Since his family was rich, he did a lot of traveling as a kid. Mostly around Europe, but internationally, too. He's probably been to every continent, barring Antarctica, at least once. He didn't really get to experience much on these trips, though. Sure, he'd be in these places, but the trips were never so much for sightseeing as they were for his parents' business opportunities, going to really fancy places as a status symbol, and probably some networking for him, as his parents were very keen on "maximizing his potential" as a young genius and showing him off to fellow rich folk or higher-ups in academia. If anything, traveling was an isolating experience for him. There was never any warmth in the Fugo family, and the one person he truly loved and could've enjoyed having new experiences with, his grandmother, was never included.
So, as he gets older, he finds that he really enjoys trips that aren't so rigid. He likes having things planned in advance, certainly, but instead of seeing huge cities and staying in luxury resorts, he'd much rather go to small towns or rural areas, eat at local restaurants, buy little trinkets that his family would've ridiculed, and just. Have the opportunity to slow down and enjoy things. He couldn't give a single shit about seeing Paris or Tokyo or New York City, but if he's able to go on a road trip through the countryside and stop at a little farmer's market for some homemade jam, he'll be ecstatic.
17: Scars
His hands and wrists are heavily scarred from scratching at them - a bad, self-destructive habit the others have tried to get him out of, to no avail. He’s also got a lot of scarring on his face, shoulders, and back from acne. By the time he gets the scars on his cheeks/throat at the end of PHF, he’s too used to having scars to outwardly angst about them much. He claims he’s “never had a nice face, anyhow,” and is at least thankful he has an intact jaw after that.
Internally, though, he’s conflicted. He has some serious issues with self-worth, and, body image-wise, views himself as somewhat ugly at best, if not completely repulsive. The scars, at first, do not help.
Eventually, though, he starts working to reframe his mindset. The scars are proof that he’s bettering himself - while he may not be able to undo the damage he’s caused, there are things he can still fix. He isn’t as selfish, cowardly, or mean as he used to be. He’s starting to understand other people, and understand himself. The scars he sees when he looks in the mirror are proof.
Also, if I can plug the Fugio agenda for a moment. Most of his mental restructuring is done on his own, but it certainly helps to know that Giorno’s never been judgmental about his scars. Quite the opposite, in fact. Giorno kisses the PHF scars constantly, and likes tracing the acne spots on Fugo’s back (he always says cheesy stuff about them, like “they’re like little stars” or whatever. Fugo thinks it’s bullshit, but doesn’t complain).
31: Death
Despite his stand’s motif, he is deeply terrified of dying. Deep down, it was one of the main reasons he stayed behind. He finds comfort in understanding things, and knowing that he can understand anything in life, potentially. Even though he’s staunchly atheist, the fact that he can’t possibly understand or comprehend death scares him. Purple Haze’s, or his, ability to end lives so quickly and effortlessly, in a way, makes him scared of himself.
37: Vengeance
I like to think that he does see his family again, when he’s an adult. Not to reconcile, though. His father, or maybe one of his brothers, somehow gets tangled up in mafia business, and they arrange a meeting to ask Giorno for protection or money. Giorno’s ready to dismiss the offer, but Fugo asks to go with him, with his face obscured, to see if they’ve actually changed.
As it turns out, they haven’t. They’re still as pretentious and elitist as he remembers, walking over everyone who doesn’t meet their standards - of class, of wealth, of behavior. Giorno asks if they have another child, and they claim they don’t - Pannacotta has more or less been eliminated from the Fugo family tree, reduced to no more than a whisper at dinner parties, a rumor among the upper crust. He’s completely dead to them, and, perhaps, after kicking him to the streets without so much as a goodbye, they assumed he would be literally.
Giorno, of course, rejects their request. And, as a final blow, Fugo reveals himself. Flashes his and Giorno’s matching rings in his father’s face, sits with his feet up on the expensive coffee table, and describes, in detail, what’s happened to him since he was last at this mansion. It’s dramatic, and it’s not a huge act of revenge, in the grand scheme of things. But it’s cathartic to imagine his family living with the fact that their son’s a criminal, right at the top in Passione’s ranks, and the shitstorm that would ensue, should he choose to leak the information to the public. And, of course, knowing that he has a real family by his side - more of a real family than they would ever be.
38: Sympathy
If there is one opponent he comes to regret killing, it’s Angelica. While she may have been working for the narcotics team, she was really no different than him, or any of his friends - she was just a kid driven to extremes, and was only able to find solace among criminals. Most of what he learns about her, he learns after her death, and there’s times where he spirals, thinking about what he could have done differently, had he known what he does now. Could they have convinced her to leave the narcotics team? Gotten her treatment for her addiction? Used Gold Experience Requiem to help with her illness, somehow? What hurts most is that parts of her remind him of Narancia, and, occasionally, he wonders if they could’ve even been friends.
At the end of the day, he tells himself she was too far gone, and any thoughts of helping her are just ridiculous fantasies. Still, he hasn’t been able to fully convince himself.
#whoo sorry this took so long. i'm starting to work on all these so don't worry. they'll all get answered#also the fourth one may or may not be a fic idea i've considered writing before. idk if i will but. yeah#jjba#purple haze feedback#jjba headcanons#pannacotta fugo#fugio
50 notes
·
View notes
Note
Thoughts on trigun?
Depends. If youre asking about the Manga, from what i've read its terrible.
Maybe it gets better later one(I kinda have to assume, given how it kicked off a franchise), but the start is abyssmal, with a mix between terrible art, not particularily interesting characters and moments, and confusing action scenes.
The anime by contrast is a very, very different story, being a very interesting piece of work, and unlike many anime and manga, it has the distinction of being a piece of art that uses christian symbolism while also tackling christian themes, rather than the usual you find in stuff like evangelion, or or tall the otger countless works from japan that uses christian symbolism and imagery withouth really understanding them.
The anime, though both a comedy and an action show, is ultimately a character study of the character of Vash, and how his life intertvines with the way he has chosen to live his life. Mostly intertvined with christian morality, most notable, thou shall not kill.
It's a very interesting romp, in particularily because the show is not afraid at all from confronting the fact that it's characters are very often selfish, hypocrites, wrong, and just dont have their shit sorted out... and then have them have to actually have to stare their flaws in the face.
Wheter it's wolfwood's halfassed face heel turn from frankly being a horrible person, into a gutwrenching confession and pleading for more time at the end after having resolved to be better, Merill refusing to act on her feelings, to commiting herself to go all out, to Vash journey from having and sticking to having high morals but not actually believing in them, to having them crushed in the face of a cruel world, to learning to truly believe in those morals and resolve to be better, and sticking to it by the end is a great story.
Of course while great, it's not perfect by any means.
It could have used a few less filler episodes at the beginning, as while some of them really do embody the series themes, others do not(episode 2 in particular is frankly a terrible one), and the story uses way too long to get going.
I've also seen reviews describe Trigun to have great action scenes. Now maybe I've just been spoiled by growing up in the era of one piece and Naruto, soul eater and all the rest of the series that perfected action scenes around the turn of the millennia, but i could not disagree more.
I think the final episode is one, big, great amazing action scene, but other than that, the series actual action scenes are pisspor, with the only thing that stands out is the events around them(The fight with gale sucks, but the moments where everyone around the two of them dies ans vash's reaction, and how he deals with Gale after beating him at the end is fucking great... But the action sucks).
Trigun also has an interesting world... But it is absolutely terrible conveying it to the watcher. It takes the same approach of letting us experience it through vash living in it as the original battle angel alita did, but it could not be further on the spectrum in this regard than that master piece.
Also, while the Knives isnt a bad villain per say... He is utterly overshadowed in every single way by his second Legato bluesummer, who is probably one the single best anime/manga villians of all time, up there with Medusa. He steals the show in every single scene he's in. Knives... Does not.
Overall though, it's a great show, but certainly not perfect.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
KinnPorsche Ep 4 - analysis
Because I have something better to do like studying, I'm writing this analysis. Gotta procrastinate you guys and I'm gonna pretend I'm really sad I spend my time watching KinnPorsche instead.
This episode is basically parted into two storylines. Vegas is introduces as a sort of villain here, though I think there's more to it than just him plotting stuff. Kinn and Porsche flirt a lot and we discover some depth of Kinn's character.
Kinn is jealous
Last week, Kinn and Porsche ended up kissing and now it's the next day. Since this is a drama, the antagonist and possible other romantic lead is showing interest, so even before anything really started between Kinn and Porsche, Vegas steps in and Kinn feels extremely jealous. The problem is, of course, that they haven't even talked about the kiss yet but Kinn feels the need to since he's kinda salty about Vegas interfering.
Side note: The garden seems to be pretty important because everytime we see Porsche interacting with the minor family, he is in the garden. Last time I said the garden is representing a sort of fairytale Thankun loves to live in, but Porsche destroyed it by killing the fishes. This time, it's the scene Vegas steps up. Porsche wants to smoke which kind of symbolizes him destroying a fairytale and Vegas helps him with it by lighting up his cigarette. It's a symbolic threat to Kinn because Vegas is a "bad boy", encouraging Porsche to keep doing destructive things while Kinn is "the good guy" showing Porsche what his heart truly wants.
Kinn's jealousy is clearly shown in the scene at the pool. The pool gave me some flashbacks to the trailer tbh and the "Deutsche Bank" logo in the background just made this whole scenery hilarious to me.
"Did I interrupt? I saw you two having a fun conversation."
Porsche doesn't have a clue what this is about and then, we get an important piece of information. After Kinn reminds him to not talk to the minor family members because he doesn't like them, Porsche just says something like "if he talks nicely to me, I talk back nicely. It's manners" and Kinn's face is just gold at this point but this short sentence shows the entire conflict between those two and why Porsche helps Kinn to see the world in a different light. Kinn is so used to do things the hard way and to always state his point. He never tried to talk nicely to anyone because that's what he was taught: friendliness doesn't get you anywhere. But Porsche is different. He always needed people to like him and couldn't just give a sh*t about other's opinion of him. The difference is right there and unnoticable but if you watch closely, the conflict is already laid out.
I think this jealousy made Kinn realize something he is not ready to admit to himself yet but it leads to the sauna scene and the most clichéish question ever.
"If you were a girl, would you like a guy like me?"
I just love how Porsche says "you're weird today" because he can't remember lmao. Porsche mostly just goes with the flow and Kinn thinks things through. Kinn only kisses someone he likes. Porsche kisses back because it's nice and if it turns into something, it's nice as well but not intended at first.
Kinn shows a very different side here. He is not cold and calculative. Just a man in his twenties (?) who just tries to have someone and tries to deal with his life even if he doesn't like it sometimes. Kinn is someone who loves money but had to realize money doesn't give you everything you want, so he's kinda lonely. With Porsche, he's just not lonely, I think.
The calm Kinn vanishes when Vegas shows up again. The jealousy is on another level here and Vegas recognizes and picks up the fight. Kinn is all too serious, Vegas is very amused and the others are just uncomfortable. But Vegas still seems to know something about Kinn's past which was missing up until now. Someone like Kinn obviously has a trauma. Else he wouldn't keep people away and never care about what other's feel.
Progress
Shortly after this, we get the next bit of information about Kinn.
"You never seem to change. Never let me kiss you"
With this both being said, everything that happened and will happen is seen in a different light. Because Kinn has kissed Porsche after shortly knowing him. He cares deeply about him. He checks up on Porsche's wound and when Porsche lies on the bed, all out of it, Kinn caresses his cheek and sends the other bodyguards away. He seems to be really scared.
But first, let's talk about the whole Big incident and how prod Kinn looks. The lightning is very beautiful right here because Kinn feels appreciated and Porsche protects him in some way, that's why the lights are between them. It's what Kinn wished would happenen but thought "just in my dreams". It then happens for real, but it still feels like a dream.
Talking about lightning, can we talk about the auction?! Kinn wears a red suit. He is ready for war. Vegas is there too and Kinn is just ready to fight (not physically speaking). The whole room is gloomy and blue, it's a dangerous scenery and a tense atmosphere. Vegas and Kinn keep bidding and Porsche gets poisoned. They all knew events are dangerous and Porsche definetely learned from the last time because he really doesn't want to drink a random water that was just given to him. But yeah, Kinn is forced to smile at him and he gets all confused by it.
Now we get to the scene we all want to to talk about. But let me say, I was surprised how it turned out. I wasn't ready to see them having sex because I think they aren't there yet. But again, sex isn't always something to wait for, so of course no judgement. I especially loved the coloring here because the background is dark-geen but these two are constantly put in a warm yellow and kinda orange light which just looked so beautiful. And I have to say, I love their acting. Like Apo is so good portraying a very high Porsche and Mile is amazingly playing a distant Kinn who is confused. I just love them.
So, we remember from earlier that Kinn doesn't kiss anyone. He seems to have some trauma and at the pier, it was more thoughtless than now. Here, Porsche teases and touches him very much and Kinn is just lost I think. His face shows it all. And when Porsche "shows him the real deal", Kinn looks like he's about to cry.
The kiss probably awoke some nasty memories of his trauma and he wasn't sure if he can endure it to then arive at the other side where Porsche is. He gives in shortly after but it was important to see him being confused because of the things that have been said earlier.
Vegas is the antagonist
Short analysis about the last scene with Vegas standing nacked in a red room with candles, being aroused by the flashbacks of a knocked-out Porsche. The flashback thing is obviously there to show what kind of creepy and disgusting guy he really is. We only see that now after what happened because Porsche and we only know now what Kinn already knew about him: that he is not in any way nice. So, that would have been enough to make clear that Vegas is the antagonist. But they put him in a red room with candles and this combination is very spiritually. He is portrayed as the devil. Candles are mostly seen in churches and weird cults. Red is the color of war and the devil. This whole scenery is in a very ancient looking room and all these things together, are clearly stating "he is the villain". I'm excited for next week after this chaotic analysis lmao
47 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey Ev! Sorry to pester you again, but I came across your Hunter playlist on Spotify and it is very good!! I was wondering if you would be willing to kinda share yout thoughts on it, or like behind it? Why you chose the songs you chose for it and in that specific order and stuff, it'd be cool to hear! Also just,,, the three last verses of Dear Wormwood after Thanks To Them.... oh.... Oof, even... Anycase have a nice day! 🌻
oh boy howdy i have been waiting to hear these words all my life
i promise you are not pestering me at all bdjfjdjfks i am frothing at the MOUTH at the opportunity to talk about this damn thing lol. this stupid playlist is my magnum opus my baby i have spent like 2 hours meticulously organizing it yes im normal why do you ask
the hunter playlist in question for everyone else
the playlist's structure is generally meant to follow hunter's growth as a person, starting from pre-canon childhood to the present, and is at times loosely based on the five stages of grief. (this "grief" being the revelation that his entire life has been a lie.) to split it into sections, the first 20 songs are meant to catalogue hunter's experience being raised by belos and rise to the position of the golden guard. 21-27 is his gradually expanding worldview through hunting palismen to any sport in a storm, after he meets flapjack and the hexsquad and starts slowly questioning his beliefs. 28-42 is hollow mind and the direct fallout of that—with 33-45 centering around the "anger" stage of grief—and 43-48 is his feelings between labyrinth runners and king's tide. 49-58 is firmly in the "depression" stage, with everything after 59 being when he reaches acceptance and is able to truly start to recover.
putting this under a cut because i swear it is longer than the damn bible, but below you will find a more in-depth song-by-song breakdown. never underestimate the power of a very exhausted college student who drank too much soda's ability to think about one particular fictional character ig.
to start, i put dear wormwood at the very beginning to act as a sort of "prologue" to the playlist and set the stage for what's to come, and also because it is THE Hunter Song(tm) and i need to make sure everyone knows it. that song has had a flashing neon sign with hunter’s name on it in my brain since eclipse lake at least.
bumblebees are out, because it's so short and blatantly "oh this is hunter and belos", acts as a clear divider between dear wormwood and the rest of the playlist, with fish in a birdcage being the official "start" to the narrative. this song and helplessness blues after it then act to sort of sum up hunter's general feelings growing up isolated in the coven.
english house through you're a useless child (君はできない子) is actually from belos's perspective indoctrinating him, and then love me love me love me (愛して愛して愛して) onward is back to hunter. the next several songs detail hunter's experience as the golden guard. life itself is a recent addition mostly just there for vibes and because the first verse fits lol (thanks skit) and honey i'm home and saint bernard are the two obligatory Religious Trauma Bops i hope to make animatics for eventually. icarus (Bird Symbolism #1) through stonewall stone fence is meant to be from the perspective of an outsider looking in (aka the audience) and going "oh this kid is Not Well" it is Necessary. (silhouettes particularly fucks me up lol i need to make a dadrius playlist)
with that all being said there beneath is where his character arc in the show proper actually kicks in. it acts as a divider between the prior songs to say "oh he is Thinking about Things." [insert that shot of him looking out his window at the end of hunting palismen] the songs from notos don't really fit in chronologically—torches would actually fit better earlier, and the other two later—but they flowed better here lol. bad blood is mostly vibes i don't even remember why it's in there, something something it being about god creating man paralleling belos creating the grimwalkers, but i like it too much to take it off lmao. this section is basically all of hunter's beliefs slowly slowly starting to crack throughout his Field Trips With The Good Guys.
uso janai is where shit gets Real; this one is actually from luz's perspective after half-befriending hunter in hunting palismen and then wanting to get him away from belos after You Know. escapism is back to hunter—more questioning, and the line "i'd rather be free" calling back to his desire to choose his own future—before shit goes down.
pale white horse and where is your rider happen specifically during the confrontation with belos in hollow mind. the actual songs are about uhhh,, an abuse victim being approached by the personification of death itself (when the other three horsemen failed to rattle them) and being scared shitless before realizing death had been their abuser disguised the entire time which fits with. well the last 5 minutes of the episode.
the next songs until around whisper encompass the time between hollow mind and labyrinth runners where hunter is alone to process things. the extra oh hellos songs there are him thinking back on his life and all the harm he'd caused working under belos as everything is recontextualized. (plus passerine has that extra bird symbolism fuck yeah)
(if you think there's a lot of the oh hellos in this beast oh my god. i think i had to physically restrain myself from adding like 70% of their entire discography at first im pretty sure the entirety of dear wormwood was on there for a little bit. it's all hunter. i am deranged.)
from this point onward starting with james picard, the playlist structure really kicks into the 5 stages of grief high gear, with everything before pale white horse generally being denial and these next several songs shifting into anger. this section until time to move on is what i like to call hunter's Religious Trauma Breakdown Arc where he's just thinking things through and gradually becoming angrier and angrier at the universe as it all sets in no im not projecting
(also i should note that the order from here on is a little fucky and songs are mostly chosen by what flows best sound-wise; if we're going just by lyrics it'd be something like where is your rider > the garden > dear god > let it burn > dream with everything else tacked on afterward)
sweet sacrifice specifically gives me mad "angry at your shitty parent for years of Nonsense" vibes no im not projecting and obsolete is. bro come on just listen to the lyrics. "you bring me back to life so you can watch me die" it's out of my hands at this point bsjfkfkd
the Our Last Night Trifecta is meant to be hunter's thoughts upon realizing he's effectively out of the coven after labyrinth runners. sunrise would actually fit better lower in the playlist but i wanted to keep them together in order for the flow bshfksk. lie to me is the Oh He Has Friends To Help Him Through This song and more than this stands as hunter and the hexsquad both vowing to protect each other from belos,, ,, oh he has friends to help him through this,,,,,, arsonist's lullaby is there to sort of say "you're not outta the woods yet kiddo" but it's also mostly there because. philip notably has a fire motif going on with him and im a huge slut for symbolism X)
starting with bird song, we have officially entered Hunter's Depression Era after king's tide. bird song is mostly there because Oops! All Bird Symbolism. the moon will sing grabbed me by the throat with Sad Boy Vibes it's sort of there as a retrospective "wow that whole thing was fucked up" on hunter's part, and unraveling is literally only there because the first verse reminded me of darius but it's got that post-hollow mind "shit ive lost literally everything" feel going for it so in it goes. lyrically these both fit better during the initial anger pain spiral (around where the garden is) but again, flow.
(note that ive barely touched this section moving forward since thanks to them so the songs here are a lot more vague, predictive Being Sad And Healing type shit; i will probably do an overhaul after season 3 is over and his canon character arc is actually complete. i havent added anything with the events of thanks to them in mind because i don't want to disrupt the flow i have, however i am actually planning to add who am i by cami-cat eventually; it gives off MASSIVE post-hollow mind hunter and luz vibes)
welcome home, son gives off a very specific emotion i cannot describe you're just gonna have to trust me on why it's there but let the river in is peak "lmao fuck my dad" energy he needs this . uneven odds is more vibes (+ camila going is anyone gonna parent this and not waiting for a response) but you understand right. He Needs This.
lost in paradise sort of represents a low point during the timeskip in thanks to them; that lingering feeling of "everything is (comparatively) fine now so why can't i be happy and feel like i deserve to be" that will no doubt be haunting him for years. glow is straight-up about grief and i put it there initially looking at it from a "healing from non death-related trauma" angle but after uh. You Know. i am seeing it differently,,,, kokoronashi + can i believe you build off of the thing i said about lost in paradise with that "why can't i feel like i deserve to be happy" thing plus my favorite, "feeling inherently unlovable what do you even see in me."
eight through soap is him clawing out of that mindset and deciding maybe kindness and trust is Good, Actually (said through tears). love like you is love like you and wanderer's lullaby is Me Specifically reaching into the screen and giving him a hug /j (it's actually his like 5 parental figures telling him they love him <3 i have a lot of feelings about this song okay) the author once again plays off hunter's desire to choose his own future with him finally being allowed to do so, and ready now is exactly what it says on the tin. that he's going to be okay.
finally, FINALLY, thus always to tyrants finishes things off with a bookend to dear wormwood. this song ends the dear wormwood album with the victim staying firm in their decision to leave their abuser with a hope that they become a better person someday; hunter is now on the road to recovery away from belos, closing up his character arc while still leaving the path ahead relatively open-ended. (i chose make this one last since it feels less "final" than the prior two songs—signaling that his journey is far from over—and, y'know, bookending.)
this is quite possibly the longest post i have ever written but!! thank you for giving me the opportunity to talk about this abomination lol i worked. way too hard on it bhsgsdkh hope that answers your questions and lmk if you have any other thoughts!!! <3
#i spent three hours writing this ohhhh my god what is wrong with me ...#toh#the owl house#hunter toh#toh playlist#toh meta#kind of#asks#abuse tw#long post#skit dont look
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hey girl, don’t mind me, I just quickly went and rewrote Dream SMP Season 2.
I’m focusing on the big plot stuff from Season 2, which makes it really easy for me to make it good, because I don’t have to contend with all the hard parts like dialogue and scene pacing and stuff. As an additional challenge to myself, I try to change as little as possible. If I don’t mention stuff (like the Egg-Arc) then that means I’m fine with them the way they are.
I wrote this in an hour, so don't expect it to be good, pls.
Whether you agree or think this is trash, I'd be so interested to hear your thoughts!
ACT I
Fundy’s early arc with Ghostbur, Eret and Phil is great and should stay the way it is. It sets up the character relationships and potential for conflict that we can explore in the future.
Similarly, I wouldn’t change too much about the conflict during Exile with one exception: Both Tommy and Quackity don’t want to include Technoblade. Instead, they believe that they can take one Dream by themselves – this is important for Techno’s, Tommy’s and Quackity’s personal journey later on. In this rewrite, Quackity also didn’t found El Rapids, but instead recruited George & Sapnap to L’Manburg – because his stated goal is to make L’Manburg the strongest nation on the server, so why would he make a rival nation with a plotline that goes nowhere?
What’s also important is that it’s revealed that Dream has a spy in L’Manburg around here. Maybe Tommy confessed his burning of George’s house during a cabinet meeting and word still got out to Dream. Who knows, but it’s important for later.
Something big that I would change about this Act I is that I would give Techno an actual B-plot. As it stands, Techno’s early plotline was just “Grrr, I’m angry that Tommy would use me like that! Someone killed my cows and robbed me! L’Manburg will know my wrath”
3 weeks later
“Nevermind, I’m a pacifist now and live in the arctic”
Instead, we pick up where S1 left off. Techno is intent on destroying L’Manburg and instituting anarchy. During that time, he comes into conflict with Quackity’s henchmen (Fundy, George, Sapnap, etc.) to establish that L’Manburg could be an actual threat to him.
We also have some conflict with Phil. They’re old war buddies, but Phil’s son built L’Manburg and Phil himself is unofficially Tubbo’s advisor. I think them reconstituting their friendship will take up this early part until Tommy’s exile – it makes for a nice foil to Tommy’s and Tubbo’s friendship falling apart.
Technoblade also tries to recruit people like HBomb and Niki to his cause, but they’re hesitant, because, you know, he sent Withers to destroy their home. Not the best first impression. Techno is hurt, but convinced it’s because of L’Manburg propaganda and they don’t want to work with him, because they don’t see him as useful.
ACT II Part 1
Exile-Arc basically stays exactly the same – with one notable difference. When Technoblade comes to visit Tommy it’s not to mock him – it’s as a final attempt to convince Tommy to join him. It’s a first culmination of Techno’s character journey so far: His previous interactions with the citizenry of L’Manburg has left him shaken, but not shaken enough.
Tommy truly does need “The Blade” right now and he has no reason to further believe L’Manburg’s propaganda. So, by Technoblade’s inner logic, Tommy should accept.
But he doesn’t. Tommy viciously rips into Technoblade and gets very personal (he’s in a bad space, understandably) – Techno can play it off nonchalantly, but either the cinematography or some later moment shows us that he was hurt by this.
Nevertheless, he gives Tommy a compass that points to his HQ, showing us that he cares about Tommy, like he did during their early days in Pogtopia.
This is where we implement some big changes. The story of Technoblade and the Butcher Army becomes the A-plot, while the Exile becomes the B-plot.
It makes perfect sense. The Exile-Arc is a very inward-focused, almost a character study of Tommy and Dream. It doesn’t have a lot of big narrative movement – so the perfect time to execute on that narrative movement in the storyline that has a lot of moving pieces.
So, after Tommy chewed him out, Techno is hurt and meets with Philza. Techno then explains that for him anarchy always was the natural order of things – to fight for a world where only the strongest survive – but pursuing anarchy like that has left him empty. Philza then explains that anarchy should be more about helping people and building an equal community.
We’re all but stating a major thematic conflict of this storyline: Fighting those who wronged you vs. Helping those in need. All this while also exploring the philosophy of anarchy with Techno and Philza serving as symbolic stand-ins for some different thoughts on the matter.
So, while Tommy’s Exile is going on, Techno refines his approach. This goes hand in hand with Quackity using his henchman to turn L’Manburg into a totalitarian police state in order to root out Dream’s traitor (told you it would become important later).
This will be the main conflict here in the first half of Act 2. Quackity and Philza will play shoulder-devil and shoulder-angel respectively for Tubbo and Fundy, pulling them in different directions. Ghostbur also hangs around L’Manburg – a constant reminder for Tubbo of the most sanitized version of President Wilbur and the lofty ideas he stood for.
This is another big thematic conflict for this storyline – externalized in part through Ghostbur’s presence: When do the ends no longer justify the means? It also feeds into the motif of Tubbo and Tommy becoming like Schlatt and Wilbur respectively (even if that’s still mostly superficial).
During this political turmoil, Niki is getting into Quackity’s crosshairs. She opposes his policing and brutal methods. So Quackity really focuses in on her and she has to live with constant surveillance, searches, etc. Niki tries to talk to Tubbo about this, but he says it’s necessary to keep L’Manburg safe. Slowly, Niki grows disillusioned with L’Manburg.
It is during this time that Niki gets into contact with Techno and the two start to form a bond and helping the citizenry hold out hope during this time (I don’t know who would be the citizenry, probably people that don’t have their own storyline going on such as HBomb, Vikkstar, Lazarbeam, etc.)
And we can have a few lorestreams like that, where the conceit is that Techno’s sneaking into L’Manburg to help people and there’s actual tension.
All this culminates in Hog Hunt. Fundy sees Phil, Niki and Techno team-up. He confronts them after Techno left and Phil begs Fundy to not out them – but their divide has grown too deep (and we’ve actually shown that during Fundy’s streams this time).
Quackity has Phil and Niki incarcerated (L’Manburg has a prison now, it’s not as good as Pandora’s Vualt). Tubbo is deeply disturbed that Philza and Niki would betray him by working with the man that took one of his canon lives and finally gives the Butcher Army his presidential approval. Quackity was already prepared and the events of Hog Hunt play out as we know them.
ACT II Part 2
Again, plays out relatively similarly, except for one major difference: Tommy comes to Techno with the explicit purpose of asking for his help. Exile has left him really hardened, probably more so than we have currently.
This would a.) make Tommy a bit more proactive in his partnership with Techno and b.) actually gives some weight to Techno’s later beef with Tommy, because now it’s based on more than just some flimsy phrasing during S1.
Otherwise, this plays out relatively similarly – Techno and Tommy maybe share a few more character moments, just to drive home that Techno cares about Tommy. Also, none of that dumb keeping it a secret whether or not we destroy L’Manburg – that’s some contrived nonsense and I hate it.
Tommy knows that Techno wants to destroy L’Manburg and while he’s conflicted, he ultimately goes along with. Once he gets his discs back, everything will be over after all. The destruction of L’Manburg will have been worth it.
Part of the rising action will be breaking Phil and Niki out of prison instead of the petty bullshit about Techno’s items that he doesn’t need. This is where we have the initial confrontation between Tommy and Tubbo (and Techno doesn’t ruin the moment by being his worst self).
Other plot points include: Techno receives the Wither Skulls over the course of him and Tommy working together by some mysterious benefactor. This is after he and Tommy confronted Dream. He doesn’t tell Tommy who the benefactor is, even though he knows (spoilers: it’s Dream).
Meanwhile, Tommy, Techno, Niki and Phil are secretly rigging New L’Manburg with TNT a la Wilbur, just to really drive that comparison home. Niki is getting really angry; she has suffered enough and she’s really gonna get revenge.
One of her big moments of terrorism before the Green Festival is burning down the L’Mantree (maybe we can include some character conflict Fundy, so we have these two people who were once really close friends now so warped and torn apart by these two sides at war).
Meanwhile, Quackity has figured out that Ranboo was the traitor and is pushing for Tubbo to execute Ranboo for the greater good of L’Manburg. Tubbo is hesitant, but as there’s no moderate voice in the cabinet anymore, he concedes to the idea.
Finally, the Green Festival is here. This part is really … tough to rewrite, because you have to accommodate so many different character arcs, but I’ll try my best.
In a move not unlike during the Red Festival, Ranboo is revealed as the traitor and put in the execution cage (because those parallels). Tubbo feels really bad about it.
This is when Tommy and Techno start their assault and unleash the whithers. L’Manburg is under attack and we have the big fight between Tubbo and Tommy. We get the big shout-out “The discs were worth more than you ever were” and the ensuing epiphany on Tommy part.
Techno’s calling for him to explode the TNT, but he doesn’t do it.
Quackity is calling for Tubbo to execute Ranboo, but Tubbo has an epiphany himself and refuses. Both their personal conflicts are resolved here. Also, we have some nice parallelism between Quackity and Techno as Tubbo’s and Tommy’s respective bad influences.
Techno – understandably this time – feels betrayed and hurt. He and Tommy have their shouting match. Quackity tries to attack Techno, but during their match they accidentally trigger the TNT. Quackity’s hunger for power has created the grave of his ambitions.
(Niki is also pissed at Tommy and Fundy is fully distraught, because L’Manburg was everything he had left from Wilbur).
Dream steps out of the shadows and reveals that he was Techno’s mysterious benefactor. He gets his hands on the second disc and gloats to Tommy. The scene from Doomsday plays out only that Techno shows some stings of remorse for helping Dream accomplish what he wanted. (Quackity flees the ensuing chaos).
Dream tries to goad Tommy with the discs, but Tommy doesn’t bite, because he has resolved his Want vs. Need now. Dream is frustrated, but retreats for now.
ACT III
In the aftermath of ACT II, I think it’s very important to hammer home that this wasn’t a win for Techno, Niki or Phil. For that to work I think it’s important to make clear that Tommy’s and Techno’s bond was genuine and that they really cared for each other during the Bedrock Bros thing. Neither of them is happy for how this turned.
Niki is plagued by nightmares and sleeps in a prison cell like in the current canon. She stands in symbolic for the emptiness that vengeance brings. Phil is shaken from his talk to Ghostbur and he’s the one who brings up that maybe what they did wasn’t for the best.
Then Techno and Phil have a discussion about the nature of anarchy again, calling back to that earlier conversation at the beginning of Act 2. Techno also feels empty – his vengeance and the destruction he wrought left him no happier.
Meanwhile, Punz and Tommy are actually spending some quality bonding time. Thanks to the medium, they could simulate that pretty well. Punz actually gets attached and when Dream mentions his coup-de-grâce, the cinematography shows that Punz isn’t too happy about it.
Tommy and Tubbo prepare to fight Dream on their own terms. They know, they have to stop him lest he hurts the people they care about (this makes both of them a bit more proactive in the finale). Punz (as per Dream’s orders) tells Tommy where Dream is hiding. Tommy thanks him, oblivious that Punz is a traitor, but Punz feels bad. He has grown attached to Tommy.
During the Final Disc War we actually get two perspectives: One is Tommy’s and Tubbo’s as we know it (only without the constant “Your discs or Tubbo”-stuff) and the other is Punz’s. He has decided to help Tommy even though there’s nothing monetarily in it for him.
First, he goes to Quackity, but Quackity says that Tommy has betrayed him and L’Manburg and that he gets what’s coming to him.
In a last-ditch effort, he goes to Techno. Here’s where we resolve that thematic conflict (Vengeance vs. Charity) for the Techno-Butcher Army storyline: Quackity has chosen to perpetuate the cycle of vengeance (because he will be the villain in S3), but we want some nice character development for Techno.
Niki is against it and stays put, but Techno and Philza ultimately decide to go with Punz and the others to help Tommy.
Finale plays out the same. Stuff’s still awkward between Techno and Tommy/Tubbo; they haven’t resolved all their problems, but it’s a first step. Some good set-up for S3.
And that’s my basic rewrite. It’s long and probably not the best.
#dream smp#dsmpblr#dsmp#dreamsmp#dream smp analysis#dsmp analysis#tommyinnit#dsmp tommy#dsmp tommyinnit#tubbo#dsmp tubbo#technoblade#dsmp technoblade#dsmp techno#bladeblr#dream#dreamwastaken#dsmp dream#dsmp dreamwastaken#quackity#dsmp quackity#niki nihachu#nihachu#dsmp niki#dsmp nihachu#dsmp niki nihachu#dream smp season 2#philza#dsmp phil#dsmp philza
166 notes
·
View notes
Text
perennial;tom holland|eighteen.
chapter eighteen: yellow pansy
↳ flower meanings: thinking of you.
chapter summary: you left a journal in his top drawer.
pairing: tom holland x y/n
warnings: haha you’re going to HATE ME
word count: 11.5K
previous chapter
next chapter
perennial masterlist.
perfidy ( series masterlist)
it took me ages write this, my writersblock was awful BUT IT’S HERE ! We are missing one more chapter but here it is! I hope you don’t hate me as much as I think you will, I split the ending in two chapters because it was LONG, so expect the final chapter in these days
Please help me out reblogging tags havent been working for me and I know this will flop but I’m really happy I got back into writing
You kept a journal. With flowers printed on them. Each and every single one was given by him. You had recently remembered it, wondering where in your room it could be. Hidden behind some other lost forgotten memories or some other unforgettable mysteries. You wondered if the flowers had kept their color. Most of them hadn’t.
“Well, here goes to the happily ever after,” you said as you smiled, even when the notebook was still roaming your mind.
Tim offered a gentle smile, watching carefully, as the white dress fell down.
When it comes to love stories, happy endings are what we wish for. Life, unfortunately, isn’t like that. But often we are bombarded with stories that are just too good to be true, enough for us to believe this. With them down the sunset on a white horse. With prince charming being charming enough.
With Mister Darcy as the sun is rising telling Elizabeth “You have bewitched me, body and soul, and I love, I love, I love you.”
With Donna and Sam getting married, and a bunch of friends singing Abba songs.
With Noah and Ally peacefully drifting off, hand in hand.
With Baby and Johnny Castle dancing together.
Characters that are but a reflection of our deepest dreams. Ones that are kept secret and shut for the world. With stories that make us believe we are happy.
It’s fine to shield in. But it’s no good to dwell on them.
We often don’t get what we wish for when we shield in a dream.
You wondered, what about Valerie and William?
Or… Tom and Y/n?
Your own story was supposed to be kept a secret, yet it ended up being a script and then a movie that would be seen by thousands. Your story transformed into a story people could shield on. A story that had been merely sentiments, then words and a very bad misunderstanding and… then a film.
Seeing yourself on someone else might have been what helped you understand it. Transforming your story into characters and trying to portray a love story that was born out of hatred… had probably been the first mistake.
If we can say it was ever a mistake. How big of a mistake can it be when it brings you so much joy?
Your luck hadn’t been enough for your own faith. But you always wondered, what happens after the happily ever after? Is it truly the outcome? When two souls find each other? Isn’t it only the beginning?
Valerie and William hadn’t had it.
The story ended with Valerie and Robbie getting together, it fit. That’s how the story had been driven. Tom and you had discussed it over and over, the story was written for Valerie to end up with Robbie.
“This is a story, y/n, it’s not us.” He had assured you. “We need to disconnect from it.”
And it wasn’t. It wasn’t you. But how much had those characters stolen from you?
How disappointing, but you made the decision along with them.
It had been painful to relive some things, and the changes to the script had been made to soothe the pain.
But they had a happily ever after. Separate ways.
Who would’ve thought you’d be so right?
Films and stories often end when marriage comes, or when the couple finally gets together, the happily ever after. You barely believed it was the ending.
Because the real journey began with it. Doesn’t it? Isn't the true adventure when they find each other?
When something goes wrong, though, it means the journey isn’t over. The happily ever after is the ending isn’t it? Isn’t the story over until after they’re happily ever after?
Love, though it might be one of the most precious things, often comes with a heartbreak. A tragedy. It didn't hurt this time, though.
But love, when it’s real, doesn’t seem like a loss even if it ends. Because, isn’t it the ending when they finally are together? If we follow that rule, that the ending is when they’re together then it wasn’t the ending.
Or was it?
You couldn’t help but wonder, however…What if you lived a lie? Just a fairy tale that wasn’t supposed to have a happily ever after.
Though the script was far from reality, you felt like your own story was twisted. Why weren’t you in your ‘happily ever after’?
Maybe the side story was yours. Because you were not the princess about to walk into the sunset.
“I really love the dress,” Tim commented.
You did too, but it had you wondering about happily ever after?
What happens to them after the credit rolls? What happens to the characters when the last page ends? Are those characters strong enough to keep together? Are their stories just dried out? Like flowers. Easily forgotten in a journal hidden in your room.
A bouquet that once served as a beautiful symbol now was scattered on top of the shelf, as a few petals fell down.
Flowers dry out.
“Yes, magnificent,” you answered.
The dress made you remember the day you thought it would last forever. That Tom and you would have that ever after. That it wouldn’t dry out.
Tom had only looked up at you, sitting finally on a director chair and he had smiled. Gently. Caring.
And that thought came to your mind. “I hope this lasts forever.”
And for a moment you thought it could. Maybe it was the endless smiles or the constant yellow flowers adorning your room that would end up on your journal.
But nothing ever does last forever. Not the good things. Not pancakes, or ice cream, or street hot dogs. Moments don’t last forever, that’s why you have to grasp to them.
And there was a point at which you knew, you knew it wouldn’t last forever. Because the film continues.
However, you liked to think that love was like a flower. One that grows. Not one that is cut to be given. A perennial one. One that blooms, and continues to bloom when it’s taken care of. But perennial flowers don’t bloom all the time.
A flower can’t bloom for eternity. And a cut flower will not preserve.
In stories and films, we know detail by detail. From the very first word, to the last breath. But when it comes to your own, you often forget what is important. We barely stop to see, and suddenly, life escapes from your hands and you’re stuck in a moment and you can’t get out.
Before you know it, all you’re left with is a script and a movie you can’t bear to watch because it brings too many memories. But good ones, that is. Mostly good.
Before you know it, you have a box with his stuff, and you’re texting to see when you have to drop them off. And before you know it, he is standing there, and you’re hoping he will beg for one last time because you will give it, but he never does, and stays quiet. Too quiet.
Not every love is perennial. Not every love is meant to bloom again.
Perennial flowers, when they bloom, are the most wonderful. But when they’re away, the skies are gray.
But somehow, we go through it. At least you tried to.
The ‘what if’ comes as something complicated. No pillow talks would’ve helped your case, it seemed like any smiles were now hidden under the bed.
It’s needless to say and regard the multiple emotions that had gone by in the relationship, that week it started or that month it finished. That year, if we are honest. That whole year of your relationship. And you had to look back at it. For it all started in a breakup, that had opened the door to be with the love of your life. It all started with a revenge.
It was weird to see it. How a year before you dated Tom, you would have gone with Tim. How you had expected it, how you thought Tim was the endgame. How that year Harry had asked if you would marry Tim and you’d answered that maybe you would.
How at some point you had considered it again. How you even considered Harry. But Tim.
Had Tim waited for a little bit longer, maybe things would’ve turned out quite different. You were thankful he hadn’t. Tim and you were a lesson to each other. Tim had shown you you can be loved and you had shown Tim he can love. Tim and you were fine now, he had found a girl. Lily. Her name was Lily. Purity. Rebirth.
Because, although it had seemed that Tim had died a little with your last conversation before officially letting him go, he had seen himself shine again. How surprising, her name was Lily. Such a coincidence.
Lily, a girl that could easily be passed by. Yet Tim had stopped to see her.
Tim and you would never share what you both said in that conversation. The last flower he had given you was a daisy. A secret between two friends.
Cherry and you went back to what you were before, strangers to each other. But she’d found a girl, by luck. Heather. She was happy now. Happiest.
A year had gone by. Many things had changed. Mostly you, and though you would look back to your past self and warn her that another heartbreak by Tom would be coming, you wouldn’t change it.
A breakup had opened many doors.
Maybe this one would too.
It was bound to come. How on earth were you supposed to grow flowers on a battlefield? But you’d built it together.
And you had. And everything was good, with sunsets and polaroids, and flowers. And fights that would cycle and cyle. But end up cuddling watching reruns of an old 80’s tv show that you barely watched because you were too busy staring into his eyes.
With old fights that would resurface and other secrets that kept chasing you both. But it was good, when you were trying to get the garden back into place, to try and forget the battlefield. Loving him had come so easily, though. Waking up by his side was taken for granted.
You had thought loving him would be a buzzing street, with crowds bustling as the rain is about to begin. You thought loving him would be a Friday night waiting for someone to show up but never did.
You were wrong.
Loving him was walking through a flower field, and taking a Polaroid of the most beautiful sunset. Loving him meant holding his hand and kissing over and over again.
But loving him meant that the sun eventually would set.
And maybe the heartbreak that had come with this one hadn’t been an actual heartbreak and maybe that’s why it hurt. Because it didn’t.
Maybe you’d forged a heartbreak or a relationship. Maybe that had been it, conning yourselves into believing you were fine when you were far from it.
Looking back maybe it was because of Rome, New York, and eventually LA. Cities that you once said you wouldn’t dare to go back to. But now you are willing to visit. Happily, it’s better to walk in a city full of memories rather than one pointless illusion of the memories you could’ve had.
He had gone to New York, and still took his Polaroid everywhere. A habit you loved about him, it seemed he became an expert on holding onto memories.
The breakup had come after James’ wedding. Lovely wedding, by the way. Fairytale full of wonder. A year ago, shortly after the film had premiered, a year after it finished filming.
It was supposed to come. Because when your own brother was finding his way, you had lost yours.
But what happened? When did life slip in? When did it start ending?
Before you knew it, you had packed your stuff without you being aware of it. You had packed everything up, except your own heart. You left your heart right there, right next to that stupid journal, in his upper drawer, right next to his bed. Had he opened that drawer ever since or had he forgotten about it?
There was your journal, not in your room. In his. And he hadn’t given it back.That’s why you felt lost. Your heart was imprinted there and he hadn’t given it back.
But you had packed everything else, with him not even trying to stop you. Just watching you circle around.
Was it fear? Maybe it had been fear, from both. You supposed that’s how life was. Loving was not a duty.
You only had one request for him, one last request: “Remember me, I was the one to love you, and I was the one to call in the middle of the night when you couldn’t sleep. Just remember me when we’re no longer here.”
Because it hadn’t been your fault, your life just slipped in. Distance. No time for calls. Your job getting too much recognition, his job getting even more. Fights that were only to push each other away so it wouldn’t hurt when you both were away. Maybe being enemies had come useful when it was supposed to end.
Fight, and more fights in the end. Yet you were gripping each other. And life had just slipped in. Like it always does.
And it wasn’t him. And it wasn’t you.
“Tell me you actually want it to end,” he had asked when you had the final box.
You didn’t. But there wasn’t much you could do, expect walk out the doors.
Or was there? But even if it was a breakup, you both agreed to remain friends, and then it transformed into little excuses to see each other.
Because it didn’t end up badly. It had been life slipping in. With barely having any time for something that needed too much time to build on.
Filming initially had helped you, how beautiful it was creating it, what a beautiful outcome it had been out of your heartbreak. With music, and fights and everything that was splendid.
Maybe the film wasn’t a huge success, but it had been enough for you both to try and mend it after.
But when filming had ended and you had to go back, that’s when the problems started. His job, your new one. Him there, you here. When you were together, it was amazing, worth it. But then you barely could. And you could barely grip each other.
Then you were too different. Then you were just the same, so stubborn and stupid.
Then it was old arguments, and new ones.
When was it gone? Had he stopped loving you?
He had asked you, near the end. “Do you still love me? Are we still enough?”
“I do love you.” But you hadn’t answered the second question. And what was it? Why wasn’t it? “Why wouldn’t we?” you had questioned.
“Dunno, it’s delicate.”
It was.
Maybe it had been James’ words for Clark. About how love shouldn’t be forced, how love should be simple and love shouldn’t be hurt. About how they built it together. How it wasn’t easy, but it wasn’t complicated.
And then Clark had said it, too. How he loved being with someone that he enjoyed silence with. How love was more than passion. How love was more than a kiss. Seeing how simple it had been for them, was a bit disappointing for you both. Your relationship was anything but simple.
And it wasn't now because you didn’t trust each other, or because you wanted to fight. No, it simply was life telling you, you shouldn’t be together. And maybe it was also the fact that you both thought you worked because you had never experienced silence together. Always a wreck. Always a mess. Always so passionate. But… was it only that? Maybe it was the passion of the moment.
You knew Tom still played the conversation with Tim over and over in his head. How by the end he said he felt guilty by it all.
You too, you were both driven by guilt and guilt eventually snaps you.
So it ended.
“Is it too soon to end this?” You had asked him.
Tom had shrugged. “Would you rather it be late?”
But that didn’t mean you… had to stop seeing each other. Or did it? So you based your new relationship on excuses. And the excuses had grown. ‘I need to give you this hoodie’, ‘I forgot my charger at your place’ ‘I need someone to drive me to do errands’, ‘I need help running lines’, ‘I need a date for this party.’
And then they didn’t even make sense. ‘I can’t open a jar’ ‘I can’t watch this movie alone’ ‘I need to rant about the ending of this series’ ‘I sneezed and no one blessed me’. Stupid things. And then it was the truth ‘I need to listen to your voice’. ‘I miss you’. ‘I want to see you’.
But it was only seeing each other, with no… relationship. No kissing, no anything. Only excuses. A… friendship.
True friendship, for the first time ever. And you could talk for hours with him until the sun came out, and you could laugh with him.
Maybe it hurt that it wasn’t more, but maybe it was never meant to be like that. But you were in a good place. In the best place you had been. The strongest you had both been, too. How civil you were with clothes on. And how many times had you stopped your will to undress him.
Your lips searched for his but they never got what they wanted, your hands hurt from keeping them to yourself, and your heart would only ache a bit.
From both sides.
Seemed that both of you knew what you had to build up on. And maybe you both knew the risk that would come if you were willing to give it a try without having something to settle on.
Maybe that’s why it didn’t hurt. Because it would bloom again, right? Maybe you were preparing the dirt to plant it in. Not loose flowers now. Have seeds.
Or that’s the idea you built yourself into. Because honestly. Had you ever been more than enemies with benefits?
But now, you were friends. Good friends. Maybe you were in love with him, and grown fonder of him now. Really, really in love. But friends. Friends who stared a little bit too much into each other’s eyes, or friends who would easily recognize each other’s laughter. Friends who would have their feet up the headboard and talk about life. Friends who instinctively would give the other a bite of their food or offer a sip of their drink.
Friends who would take a deep breath each time the other walked into the room, and friends who avoided getting too close that it would be mistaken for something else. Secret moments. Standing on the other sides of the room, turning your head away each time your eyes met.
Maybe you didn’t get the happy ending you wished for, or not the one you had expected to.
But you were happy. And it had ended. Those things were unrelated.
But a lot had changed.
Ay first, you had to fight the urge to undress him. Now you had to fight the urge to stare too long into his smile.
Really, a lot had changed.
Tom had started dating someone else, you didn’t know how long that lasted. You had pretended not to care, although you did.
You went out on dates, too. Didn’t inform him, either. Not explicitly. Though he did know.
Because you were friends. That was the happy ending you deserved.
A lot had changed.
And you were currently helping a bride tie that bow in her dress as she stared at her reflection. Her hair hung to her shoulders and half of it was tied with perfect braids. She was finally having her happy ending.
“Are you ready for the veil?” Timmy asked, as he watched the reflection of the bride.
“Can you give me a bloody second, Timothée?” Emma snapped with her usual tone. “I’m fucking busy right now, the veil can wait, don’t be a dick.”
You only held your laughter eyeing Tim. Tim and you had stopped looking at each other like you felt guilty for a while now. Tom’s jealousy had not exactly been driven away, you guessed it never would go.
But surprisingly enough, they became...friends. Or they could stand each other now after James had talked to both of them.
James and the married life that seemed to suit him. His wedding had been very small, but charming nonetheless. You wondered if you would’ve had something like that, very personal.
Quite a different story from Emma and Harry now. Whose love had conquered. And they had had a rough patch but how difficult can it be when you find your soulmate?
Maybe Harry and Emma had Tom and you doubting too. Tom and you had seen several times that you were not meant to be. Your coincidences in life had not been so, rarely coincidences but the both of you fighting for something. Too stubborn to admit that life was getting in the way.
Tom and you had all the odds in your favor and the ones to fuck it up were you both.
While Harry and Emma always had everything against them and they managed to work it out.
Who’re the soulmates here?
“What a lovely thing the blushing bride is, eh?” Tim rolled his eyes.
Emma had been… quite the bride. Everything had to be perfect, which was not likely for Emma to be that way. But she did say it, since she was marrying the love of her life it had to be big enough. In a rustic hotel, full of books and vintage furniture. A very cottage-like wedding. Very Emma and Harry. Unique.
It was perfect.
It had to, honestly. After the crossroads… everything had changed for them.
How Emma and Harry got back together was no mystery, Harry had been brave enough to go for her. When two souls are meant to be even the rockiest path will be easy to travel by.
It was the opposite of what you and Tom used to have. Emma and Harry had all the friendship, relationship settled, they just missed… the passion.
And so when they found each other, and were like two horny teenagers running around, it became...so effortless. Because they had something built upon.
As if life was rewarding them for their patience. For the love they shared. For each and every smile.
Both wild flowers, Often disregarded, had found each other, and created the most beautiful bouquet.
You only chuckled at Tim’s remark. “Splendid bride.”
While you and Tom had never been friends. Only too driven by the other, and passion and… when it ended? What were you? Were you merely nightly romance?
Tim groaned. “Emma—“he raised the veil. “I’m not trying to—I just think you should be wearing this already.”
“Shut up,” Emma granted. “I will but right now I’m—“
“Staring at your reflection?” Tim challenged. Because Emma was actually just doing that. Staring at the perfect dress she was wearing. Shining brightly like a diamond against the sun, her skin perfectly sparkled.
Emma looked for your glance in the mirror,”y/n, love.”
“Yes?”
“As my maid of honor, what are you willing to do?”
You offered her a grin, “Anything.”
Emma stared into your eyes. “Kill Timothée.”
You chuckled, “Almost anything, you should’ve asked earlier. I don’t want to get blood in my dress.”
Tim was surprised by your words. “So you would’ve?”
“Possibly, I don’t want to encounter a bridezilla Emma.”
Timmy threw his hands in the air. “I just want to help.”
“Well, don’t,” Emma and you said at the same time.
“I’m going to check on the guys, I am one hundredth percent sure they’re still in their pj’s drinking beer,” You commented.
The hotel room for the boy’s was only a floor below. It was everything Harry and Emma had probably wished for. An outdoor wedding that was planned to the very perfection. Very fairytale like. Lights hanging from trees, flower petals covering the aisle, daisies as the centerpieces, and daisies in Emma’s hands. Emma’s dream had always been an outdoor wedding.
When speaking with Emma and Harry both had stated that they made the decision not to give up. Always leaving you to wonder.
There was a part of you that was blinded by desirous thoughts. Had it been a mistake? To conclude a relationship that you had fought so long for?
Lately it had been.
You made your way to the elevator and as it opened you found a familiar face. He seemed uneasy, though.
“Y/N!” His voice was only a confirmation to his precarious state.
Your cheeks furrowed as you smiled, “Clark, hi!”
“Y/N,” he greeted you with a hug, a very nervous hug. as you stepped into the elevator. “Fuck, you look stunning. Loving the flowers on the hair.”
The dress was absolutely stunning, you had to give in that Emma’s taste was remarkable. Sky blue had been her color choice, to match with the flowers. Daisies and hydrangeas. Innocence and beauty.
It was ironic, a bit. You’d helped her with the flowers, and initially she had like sunflowers. As if it had been sntached from you. Maybe it was destiny laughing in your face. Yet she’d gone for the delicate hydrangeas.
“Thanks, Emma’s idea,” you grinned. “Where are you—“
“Oh eh, with the other boys,” he said as you pressed the button. He was shaking.
“So, what’s got you all flustered?” You questioned.
You could see Clark sweating. “Hm?”
“What’s got you all flustered?” You questioned, again.
He didn’t give you an answer. “Clark?”
Clark bit his lip. It was never usual for Clark to be anxious or to hide thoughts for himself. The man was always certain of his thoughts and actions. There was probably a calamity waiting for you.
“I—I am only the messenger,” he said, “I was actually looking for—Tim but—“
There it was. “But?”
“I think you might be of more help,” Clark admitted.
“Clark?” Your brows furrowed as the elevator door opened. He only offered a nervous smile as he licked his lips.
You saw Tom at the end of the hallway, on a call, shirt buttoned half way, his other hand running through his hair, he looked troubled. You were hoping his eyes would meet yours. Ever since the wedding was approaching he had been inattentive. Maybe the wedding hurt as much. It had been so hard for him to switch from lovers to friends. Did he ever stop and wonder if you guys could’ve had one? Did Tom also hindered with painful thoughts of how everything had so carelessly ended?
Lately it was all you had in your mind, how you felt ready. Or maybe it was the pressure that the wedding was giving you. And just as you started getting closer, Tom had backed away without a warning.
James was just getting out of the room, mid hallway. Your brother seemed to be as stressed. The tie around his neck barely covering it, his hair was scrunched. James’ eyes crossed with yours and then went straight to his husband’s.
“You brought y/n?” James pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ah, fuck it,” he looked at his watch. “Yes, you might be more helpful,” James said as he gestured with his hand to come over.
There was clearly something going on. You eyed Tom, who still was not aware you were there.
“I—Sam, no, no, I’ll—I can’t stay here, fuck I have his phone here—“You heard him say before James had dragged you into the room.
You approached your brother. “What is going on?”
“We—couldn’t find Harry’s tie,” James explained.
A tie? This was all of it? This whole catastrophe was for a tie?
“Can't any of you give him yours?” You frowned. It was no surprise that they hadn’t come up with a solution to such a simple problem, you could not expect less from men.
James rolled his eyes. “So he went to search for it about an hour ago but he fucking left his phone here and—“
Then you understood what was going on. “Where’s Harry?” You closed your eyes.
James gulped. “That’s—the thing.”
“Where is Harry?” You questioned, again.
Clark cleared his throat. “We don’t—know.”
Oh, so you were fucked. “Whose stupid idea was—?”
“Well, Dad told me he left home about 40 minutes ago and he didn’t see him at home, Sam hasn’t found him—Their fucking twin telepathy thing is broken, I guess—“Tom had walked in staring at his phone, loudly explaining his previous conversation. “Oh—hi, y/n.”
“Hi.” It was rutinary, for both of you. To just—stop when the other walked into a room. You blushed. Only noticing until then how handsome he looked. Seemed you hadn’t realized how badly you wanted him. In the most innocent way, in the way that you only wanted to offer him your heart. In the way that you only wanted the sole confirmation that he still loved you. In the way you wanted to be the reason for his smile.
You wanted to ask him, if it was okay he was still on your mind. Was it wrong? Would he be chill with him visiting your dreams?
Because that had been the hardest part of it all. At some point you had both decided you needed to move on… Because both of you at the beginning were trying to get back together and after a long conversation that almost led to one kiss, you both decided it wasn’t appropriate. So pretending you didn’t love each other was the way you’d keep him, for whatever it was worth.
Tom had said it once, hadn’t he? How everytime you both stated your feelings… it hurt. So now that you weren’t stating them, you were supposed to not hurt. Why did it, then?
“You look—stunning,” he eyed you up and down, and licked his lips, “I—I’m sorry I didn’t-uh-call this morning-I was—“
“You look pretty, too,” you interrupted. Knowing that the missed call would be a subject for James’ interest. The short story was—you had probably had a few more drinks than you should’ve with him at the hotel bar with Clark and James and Tom had walked you to your room, only walking, not even a kiss on the cheek as much as you had wanted it, but he had promised to call in the morning after you had claimed he had been ignoring you. He hadn’t called.
And was aware of it, which meant he hadn’t forgotten. It meant he had avoided you, again.
It had seemed that from one morning to another Tom had decided that the word friends meant strangers.
Maybe he wouldn’t pay a visit to your dreams.
He reached for your hair, “I like the flowers—”
“Can you both leave your ‘in love but not together’ bullshit for later?” James snapped you both out of the trance. “The wedding is in two hours and the fucking groom is no where in sight.”
Both Tom and you turned to him, travelling back to reality. “Well it’s not my fault! Who—sent him? Why didn’t you guys offer to go for the stupid tie?” You snapped back at your brother.
Tom looked away.
Of course. You watched him. “Tom? How do you plead?”
“Guilty,” he admitted.
You took a deep breath. This was definitely not the scenario you wanted to find yourself in. Had… Harry escaped? It was… not likely to escape but then again, you’d learned not to expect anything.
It was reason enough to worry.
“I wouldn’t jump to conclusions,” Tom said.
James sighed. “He took my car and—“
“You gave him your car to escape—!” You snapped. “Your car always stops working!”
“No,to go for his tie, not to escape,” Tom snapped his fingers with a smile defending your brother. “We-”
“Thomas oh my god, I am not even- All of you, you all thought it was a good idea?” You were furious now. Whose stupid idea was it to-Of course it had been Tom’s. You were going to jump to conclusions. “To send the groom when any of you could have gone-?”
You didn’t want to jump to conclusions.
You really didn’t, however it was ineluctable. Not because Harry didn’t love Emma, but because Harry was… scared. You didn’t blame him. True love comes barely once in a thousand lifetimes and when we finally get to it, it might be too much for us to handle. However after your conversations with Harry this cataclystic outcome had not been foreseen.
“My dad is around the hotel trying to find him,” Tom quickly answered.
You took a deep breath. You perfectly knew Harry.
Harry and you were close as you had once been, in a way, Harry and you were well apprised of the other. Harry was reasonable enough not to leave his wedding.
“He offered to go,” James explained.
Harry wouldn’t have offered that unless he needed to go away. And you only needed one confirmation, there was no way Harry would’ve forgotten his tie. Harry would’ve never forgotten it, unless it had been self sabotaged.
You were conveyed to the drawers, opened each one carefully, fearing you’d find it, and your gut had been right. there it was. The tie in all of its splendor. “And you let him go?” You asked, taking the tie and swinging it to them. “To search for this tie?”
“Yes,” James closed his eyes. “Fuck. We should’ve known.”
Your eyes crossed with Tom’s and then you then realized it, Tom seemed calm. Tom wasn’t freaking out. Not externally. You weren’t sure if he really wasn’t or if it was the usual wall you both build around the other. Incomprehensible it seemed now. Always keeping it cool, So many things you’ve lived and you had let them go oh so easily?
But you were flawed. You had been. But not now, what was stopping you both? Wasn’t he still the one holding your broken heart in the palm of his hand? Had he not borrowed it?
You were still trying to hold his.
But your mind shouldn’t be worried about your relationship with Tom when the groom was nowhere to be found. When he had lied that he lost his tie and it was right in that drawer.
Yet, you somehow knew there was something… Something there.
“He was supposed to go home then?” You questioned Tom.
Tom was getting anxious by the second. “Yes, so we can go look for him.”
“The two of you?” James interrupted.
“Yes the two of us, we could split and look for him but...” Tom said. “Someone has to stay here.”
James was slightly annoyed, you could tell. But James was often annoyed at you and Tom. James had been the most disappointed about the resulting relationship. Honestly, everybody was disappointed. Had you been cowards for giving up?
So much drama and for what?
“Of course you’d think splitting up is a good idea,” James snapped with poison. James was annoyed because he always pointed it out to you, how much you’d fought to have him and how easily you’d walked out.
Walking out had not been easy. Walking out had to be the most painful decision you’ve ever made. And you remembered that night you had, the city was asleep, the night was quiet, and you were the only one standing on that street, under that streetlight. Alone. He hadn’t gone to you. You’d looked back to his window, expecting him to be there, and then the door had remained closed.
You cleared your throat. “I might know where Harry is,” you lied. You were at a loss of your mind at the moment. Maybe it was shock. Not maybe, it certainly was shock. The sole thought of Harry not appearing at his own wedding had not ever crossed your mind. You’d thought Emma would’ve. Would’ve been in character, but how stupid do you have to be to run from your wedding on your wedding day?
Tom directed a glance. “I think I might know where he is, too.”
Did he? Or was he only trying to prove a point?
Though the friendship was afloat, some habits could never wear out. Especially when it came to challenging the other. After the breakup it had become a sort of competition of who was dealing better with it.
Neither of you were coping well, but you wouldn’t admit it.
How disappointing, isn’t it? A whole story to end just in a few words. A whole journey to be plucked off your hands. So quickly, so easily.
How ironic it seemed that after such a long time, it was this breaking up bullshit.
James watched between the both of you. “Do you really?”
“Yes,” Tom and you answered and panicked at the other’s statement.
“Well, I’ll race you there,” you challenged.
Tom squinted, “I don’t have my car, dad gave me a ride.”
“Well, then, you should start running so I don’t beat you there,” you grinned and then walked off the room, decidingly. Only thing left was knowing where exactly Harry had run to.
“This isn’t a fucking game, y/n!” James reminded you. “We need to find Harry.”
“I know, Jamesy!”
Tom had rushed after you, “You have no idea where he is, do you?” He mumbled.
“Not a clue,” you admitted. “You?”
He laughed, “Not a fucking clue, either.”
You both got into the elevator. He dug his hands into his pockets.
“Do you think he escaped?” Tom questioned.
“It’s possible,” you admitted. You sighed, as you pressed the button to the upper floor.
“What are you doing?” Tom asked.
“I need my keys,” You said.
Tom’s eyes widened. “And are you telling Emma?” He was panicking.
“Of course!” You gave him the widest beam. “She’ll be delighted!”
“What?”
You jokingly slapped his head. “Of course not, idiot! How the fuck am I supposed to tell her? What would I even tell her? Hey! We can’t find Harry! He might have run off! No!”
“Right. Then what’s the alibi?” Tom asked. “Just showing up and leaving?”
You sighed, “You, you will be my alibi.”
Tom blinked but followed after you when the elevator door finally left you at your floor, you rushed to the room, but stopped in front of it, buttoning Tom up. He watched you with confusion.
“I thought I was your alibi,” he smirked.
You rolled your eyes, “Not that kind of alibi, dipshit.“
Helaughed, rolling his eyes and avoiding your gaze. “Yeah, it’s been a while since that could be the alibi.”
You decided to ignore the statement, “Now, when I walk in, if you hear Emma question me—just call me and try rushing me.”
“Alright, but I think we need a solid alibi, y/n,” Tom pushed.
You rolled your eyes, “I’ll take care of that,” you confirmed and opened the door where you were welcomed by Timmy, who was about to go out.
“Oh, hey,” Tim greeted and then eyed Tom. “Thomas.”
“Timothée,” Tom nodded his head.
Even when they both presumed to be friends, you knew that Tim and Tom would always have some sort of… disagreement.
“Uh, I was about to… go see Lily,” Tim explained, turning back to you. “Mind staying with Emma-? Her mother is on one last minute arrangements, it might rain so they’re trying to figure out what to do-So if you could—“
“Actually,” you cleared your throat. “An emergency came up, so I need you to stay here, maybe tell Lily to come here?”
Tim frowned. “What emergency?”
“We’re taking care of it,” Tom explained as you rushed in looking for your purse. “We’ll be quick,” he added. “Nothing to worry about.”
“Y/N, babe, you’re back!” Emma commented.
You squinted your eyes closed, “And I’m leaving—sorry, I need to uh—It will be quick I promise there’s an issue with—there’s an emergency—“
Emma was nervous, “y/n? Everything okay? Did something happen to the flowers?”
You couldn’t lie to her, but you could omit the truth. “No, everything okay with the flowers—I promise I’ll be here quickly, I’m just going to—“
“Y/N, darling?” You heard Tom outside. “We need to go, now.”
Emma heard and then she was no longer going to question you. Not right now, at least. “Ah,” Emma said, knowingly as she rolled her eyes. “I see, Tom— an emergency with Tom.”
“I promise it’s not like that,” you assured her. “But everything is okay and— I’ll be here in time.”
“I am freaking out, do you see the sky? It’s grey! Fucking grey! I need to stop the rain!” Emma yelled. “What if it’s a bloody sign? Fuck, I need to talk to Harry, I need him-”
You freaked out by then. “No, Emma, calm down, it’ll be okay, we will figure something out!”
“Y/N! Please!” Tom called in again.
Emma watched you, “I swear to god, y/n, if your emergency is fucking that man I will murder you.” “Trust me, it’s not.”
Emma glared, “Y/N, I’ll only say it one more time. If you’re leaving my wedding to have sex with that hunk, I will kill you.”
You shook your head. “I’m… Trying to figure out what to do with the rain, okay? Leave this ro me! I’ll see you in a bit, Emma!” You ran back out.
You saw Tom’s mother walking down the hallway, she offered you a concerned look.
Tom seemed calm enough for Tim, however, who was watching him with curiosity. You were thankful that they avoided conversing with each other, especially because Tom would probably screw up the alibi. One that you didn’t have. But probably Tim had bought it, even if he had yet to hear what the alibi was. However, you knew that Tom’s presence was a solid alibi for rather than anything else.
Tom had been an alibi for your nerves. You knew that Tim wouldn’t question why you were nervous because he knew you were always nervous when Tom was around. You certainly looked flustered and having Tom there would definitely explain why you were jittery.
Tim raised his brows at you, and you only took Tom’s hand in an attempt to drag him back to the elevator. Tim was explicitly confused.
“Ah, Nikki! I’m so glad you’re here, Emma is finishing up, would you mind helping her?” Your voice was coming out slightly coarse.
The woman gulped, “are Tom and you taking care of the...rain issue?” She questioned.
“Yes, ma’,” Tom quickly nodded, “we will… find the rain.”
Some things never change, Tom was still an idiot. And for being an actor how terrible was he at lying.
“Find?” Tim questioned.
“Nothing to worry about, Tim darling,” Nikki stepped into the room, trying to push Timothee back inside, “they are taking care of it and they should go look at it, right now, chop chop!”
“See you in a bit, Tim!” You said as you ran to the elevator as Nikki closed the door, you finally were able to let go of Tom’s hand.
He cleared his throat as he pressed the button, “So what was the alibi?” Tom second glanced at you. “Why would we take care of the rain?”
“Because it got lost,” you shrugged. “Why else would we find it.”
He closed his eyes as you both walked into the elevator. “I’m an idiot.”
“Biggest one.”
He chuckled, “I—uh, heard Emma’s comment. About her thinking we were going to-”
You blushed, “Yeah.”
Big distance between both of you. Never ever close enough to accidentally brush against each other or hands coincidentally touching.
How different it was from the elevator in New York.
Tom cleared his throat. “Good to know where she stands in that subject.”
You shrugged, “I would also get mad if my best friend ditched me at my wedding to have sex with an idiot.”
He smirked rolling his eyes. “I believe the term she used was hunk.”
You ignored the comment.
“Why didn’t Timothee question us?” Tom asked.
You shrugged, “Haven’t you noticed that no one questions us?”
Tom furrowed his brows. “How so?”
“Whenever we are together, they never ask anything, they just let us be,” you admitted. Because everyone was waiting for you both to get back together or everyone expected something more from you. You never gave it to them.
He tilted his head slightly, agreeing with you. “I guess they think they’re going to make things awkward.”
No. People let you be because they wanted you to solve it.
“As if they could be,” you chuckled. “I think that’s the best part of us right now, people just don’t… meddle.”
Tom smiled, “I guess.”
You cleared your throat, “Now, where the fuck do you reckon Harry is?” You asked as you reached the lobby, turning back to what actually mattered.
“Honestly, I have no idea, nothing can come to my mind, it’s just… Not likely from Harry to run away,” Tom said. “Like—Me? Definitely. I would’ve—“
“Yes, you’d definitely run,” you nodded as you jingled the keys. Tom asked for the car at the valet.
“What is that supposed to mean?” Tom questioned.
“You’d definitely escape from your own wedding,” you chuckled. “You’re so afraid of commitment. It’s the Gemini in you.”
He opened his mouth with pride, “excuse me? Me the one afraid of commitment? May I remind you of your past, my lady?”
You avoided his gaze. “You may not.”
“Said no to a proposal, poor Timothee,” Tom started with a smirk.
“Okay that’s—“You cleared your throat, chuckling slightly. “You shouldn’t—“
“Then—Then,you faked a relationship.”
You eyed him, “are we really going to touch that subject, again?”
“You were scared of commitment enough to fake one,” he joked.
You could joke about it now. Or he could. You’d never joke about it.
“Or I knew you wouldn’t commit so I had to fake I didn’t want it,” you smugly answered.
He faked annoyance. “Well, you ran to another country, yes, just after confessing your lovely feelings through a letter—“
“That’s…different.”
“Then you didn’t give me an answer—you didn’t know if you wanted to date me,” he recalled.
You scoffed, “Thomas, may I remind you why I didn’t want to date you?”
“Then you called it quits after seeing your brother getting married and you were scared we were heading there too,” Tom said.
You gulped, “Ah, yes that last one wasn’t me—“ you reminded him. “Not entirely.”
Tom licked his lips. “Maybe we are both afraid of commitment.”
“No,” you nudged him. “I wasn’t.”
“I wasn’t either.”
There was a sudden silence. You’d barely talked about it before. As if the relationship had suddenly disappeared.
You hadn’t talked about the breakup once in months.
“I would say we are at a crossroads but,” he shrugged. “I do not believe that commitment was the reason for—“
“Nope,” you gave in. “It was not.”
Because it wasn’t, maybe it was the fact you were both too committed to a relationship without form.
“However—you did—“Tom cleared his throat. “I mean—we were headed in some sort of direction.”
“Thomas, I don’t think now is the time to have the conversation we haven’t had.”
“So we should keep pushing it, then? Pretending we are both fine with this agreement? Lately we don’t seem fine with it.”
You knew he was right. Neither of you were entirely happy with this whole new friendship thing. “I—maybe we can talk about it when we find Harry!”
Tom pursed his lips, “so you do want to talk about it?”
You took a deep breath, “Thomas, we can push aside that conversation but we cannot push aside the fact your brother is nowhere to be found on his wedding day.”
“Fine.”
“Besides I think if we’ve pushed it long enough—“
He laughed. “We are—particularly calm about that subject.”
“I don’t think we are,” you admitted. “We just like to pretend when we are calm around each other.”
Tom clicked his tongue, “Maybe. But I’m—We haven’t talked about that in a while.”
“And it’s not the moment right now, it’s your brother’s wedding, and he is nowhere to be found,” you repeated.
Tom’s smile faded and was overstrung again. The car was there.
You let him drive, he usually drove your car. Another habit that hadn’t worn out.
Now things weren’t calm, as if the sudden rush had become the both of you. You finally got it, the anxiety that should’ve come from hearing it. The anger and despair that you were supposed to feel from Harry running away.
He looked down, “what’s that?” He pointed at the cup on the cup holder.
“Coffee, from yesterday,” you explained. “Didn’t finish it.”
“You think I could die from that?” He asked.
You looked at him. “I—don’t know but—You're not thinking of—“
“Drinking it?” Tom smirked. “Yeah, I’m just—-thirsty.”
“Please don’t.”
He took the cup, “I won’t die.”
“I guess not but it’s been sitting here one day!” You tried taking it off. He gripped it and shook his head.
“I won’t die!” He said before taking a sip and scrunching his nose. “This is fucking disgusting.”
“Why are you bloody drinking it?” You laughed.
He laughed, “I—I don’t know, but no it’s not that bad.”
“Thomas what the fuck,” you couldn’t stop laughing. “If you die then I’ll have to take care of your dead body and finding Harry, and my priority is finding Harry so I’d have to pull a Weekend at Bernie’s”
Tom giggled and stuck his tongue out, acting so terribly as if he was actually dying.
“You know,” you watched him with fake repulsion. “You deserve an Oscar for that one performance.”
“Right?” He grinned. “I’ll thank you when I receive it.”
You chuckled, “I think we should focus on Harry instead, yes?”
You both discussed places where he would go, that park? Unlikely. That Pub? He wasn’t there. Home?
Where in the world would he go?
“What if he—?” You were getting tired. “What if he didn’t run away?”
Tom looked over, he was rubbing his face, angry you hadn’t found him at the third pub. “That’s the thing, I don’t think he did.”
“It makes no sense, does it?” You questioned.
“No, he—he loves her,” Tom licked his lips. “It’s cause—“ he clutched to the wheel. “I don’t think Harry would—“
“No, I don’t think so—I just—“
It started to rain, because of course it bloody had to. Seemed that the ambiance always had the urge to level up to the level of drama you were always living.
“Jesus Christ, can we ever get into a dramatic moment without it raining?” Tom questioned, angrily.
You rolled your eyes, suppressing a laugh. “I—It was on the news forecast, I am sorry to inform you, but we’ve got nothing to do with the weather.”
Tom laughed, “I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”
“Alright, if he’s not at home then he’s—“You laughed, “Where the fuck is Harry?” You yelled, defeated.
Tom pinched the bridge of his nose. “I—hate Harry.”
You agreed. “Wait—wait, where’s your dad driving around?”
“Dunno, but he would’ve called,” Tom admitted. “Bloody hell, I hate Harry—I—can’t believe he did this.” You stayed quiet. If he had. What had led him to it? The day before he had been alright. Of course, he seemed nervous but he was excited, dreamy. In love.
“What do you know?” He questioned.
You frowned, getting your gaze back to him. “What?”
“You have your—thinking face on,” Tom pointed out. “See? Brow furrowed and hand on hair and everything,” he said. “You feel...guilty?”
“What?” You chuckled nervously. “No!”
“I know you guys spoke yesterday,” he recalled.
“Well yes, I wished him luck, but nothing—He gave me no clue of that, no clues of running away!” you admitted. “He was scared but he—I mean I thought it was usual wedding jitters but—he didn’t—I just—Calmed him. I mean he talked to you before, you probably were the one to scare him!”
“I—what?” Tom was taken aback. “I—I didn’t—“
“He talked to you before me!”
“yes, we talked but I gave him brotherly—marriage advice.”
You scoffed. “You? You gave him marriage advice?”
Tom chuckled nervously, “I—no, but—love advice.”
“We are the last people on earth that should give advice on that,” you stated.
He sighed, “I know but—“
“What did you say to him? Maybe you scared him and that’s why he ran away!” You stated, poking him.
He frowned, “Did not!”
“What did you even say to him?” You pushed. “I just know.”
He rolled his eyes, and mocked, “you just know?”
You playfully slapped his arm. “Yes, idiot! I know, you give the worst advice on love, you’re so dramatic.”
“I am dramatic?” He laughed.
“Yes,” you interrupted before he could even defend himself, “and—and, and I am too. We are—Oh god, are we to blame for Harry running away?”
Tom seemed to realize it at the same time. “I mean—Considering what we both could’ve said—“
Neither of you couldn’t help but laugh, maybe with guilt.
“I’m scared,” Tom admitted. He sighed, holding one last laughter.“We’re fucked.”
You both stayed calmly, as the rain halted against the car.
“What did you talk about with him?” He questioned.
Of course the question held more than that. You knew what he was asking about actually.
Seemed that both of you knew you had basically laid it on Harry the day before. Or maybe not. But where else would Tom ever get his advice from?
You had told him not to give up, you’d told Harry that he had found it, whatever love is, he’d found it.
“How I was proud of him, how I wanted what he was getting,” you shrugged.
You had also joked about how you and him wouldn’t have worked out. But you’d also said you were sorry it hadn’t worked out with Tom either. How you knew that him and Emma were not headed there, that he had nothing to worry about.
How you regretted the script. Spilling out your heartbreak for the world to see. Spilling your love story that was barely one and how people had a lot to say about it.
How it was painful to hide your love. How you knew Tom hadn’t moved on either but probably was planning to.
You told Harry to keep his feelings for Emma, and only Emma. That he didn’t have to share it. You had told Harry to treasure every morning, and to find a flower to talk for him.
“You?”
“I apologized for ruining his engagement party,” Tom nodded, “the first one.”
You both gulped.
“But how I—“ Tom shifted in his seat. “How I thought that they had found the silver linings for it all. That after being apart they’d just come back stronger. And how—I was happy for him. How they overcame all obstacles. And how they were just meant to be.”
“Soulmates they are,” you said. “Which is why it makes no sense he is not there.”
“We need to find him,” he stated.
You nodded. “We are very calm, though, considering-”
“Yeah,” he gave in. “I—What about the park?”
“Oh? The park? Not a park, the park, of course, how didn’t I think of that,” you teased. “Oh yes, the park. As if there aren’t hundreds of parks. Yes the park.”
He snorted a laugh, “shut up! You know where I meant!”
“Well, drive, you pillock!” You chuckled. “Drive to—the park!”
He rolled his eyes and was about to start the car, yet again.
“Wait,” there was a part of you that thought you knew where he might be. But—to explain where it was would be difficult. “Let me drive.”
To try and find Harry. Which was technically the quest.
You had less time now. You were tired. But there was something that was making you believe you could find him. You hoped you were right.
Being behind the wheel with Tom as your copilot was weird. You always let him drive because you usually were in charge of the music.
“Well, given that I’m here, I’ll be for the first time in charge of the music in your car,”he said. He seemed to have the same thing in mind.
Which was completely stupid since you were looking for a lost groom, but well, Tom and you didn’t have much in common but you could always brag about the same stupidity and brain cell you shared.
He took the aux cord as you were driving, driving to that location that wasn’t far enough. A place you knew that gave Harry peace. The park.
But of course your own peace was disturbed as ‘I think we're alone now’ played.
You hadn’t listened to that song in a long while, since you’d danced to it on his living room, most of the lights out, your screen light and his own eyes being the only light you needed. When the things were good.
You had, purposefully, erased most songs that ever reminded you of him.
“You seriously have that song?” You snorted as the memories flooded back in.
Tom avoided your glance and shrugged, “What? It’s on my playlist.”
You rolled your eyes. “Yes, I notice that. That’s how music works.”
There was silence. Probably driven by the growing fear of not finding Harry, probably coming from the fear that Harry had actually escaped. And what would that mean?
Had Tom and you really scared him?
But you both drowned the fear while humming the song.
Or maybe the silence came from the very memories of the song.
“It’s on this specific playlist honestly,” Tom said after a few songs.
You blinked, confused. “What?”
“It’s—the song,” he cleared up. “haven’t you noticed the songs playing are only songs you like? Or songs—”
Songs with background. You shrugged, “Well, we have similar taste.”
He laughed, “No, y/n, we truly don’t.”
You glanced at him, as he was looking out the window. “Huh, alright—maybe that is the reason we broke up.”
Tom clenched his jaw. “Don’t be an idiot.”
You rolled your eyes. “Never mind, that is.”
“No,” he squeezed his eyes shut. “what Imean—this is my—you playlist.”
You didn’t answer. Not right away.
“You’re not going to say anything?” Tom asked.
“What does that even mean?” You questioned.
He licked his lips. “I—well.”
“So you ignore me but you have a playlist—a me playlist?” You questioned.
Tom licked his lips, “I’m sorry I’ve been ignoring you, it’s—been hard.”
It had been, for you, too. “It’s harder if we are apart,” you pointed out.
He gulped, “That is my point,” he coughed. “We are friends,” he said. “And lately, before I started ignoring you—We were—“
You had been acting a bit more than what friends are supposed to act like. And a wedding always brings romance in everything so it was hard.
You cleared your throat, “It makes it weirder if we both walk away from the other.”
Tom bit his lip, “is it, really?” He watched you carefully. “Because, y/n, I—I’ve been… jealous, how they solved it. And how we couldn’t, after we both tried it was so hard, how we kept falling back.”
You had been slightly jealous, too.
“And, really, I—look, I love my brother and Emma, it’s not them ,” he continued, he rolled his eyes. “For all I know, we are both bitter because before James’ wedding happened we were both talking about… marriage and all,” Tom continued. “And they basically stole what could have been our wedding.”
So you were going to have that conversation. A conversation you had avoided even before the breakup. How both of you were… in talks. How you were expecting it. How you’d jitter if he ever got on his knee to tie his shoe, how every time you’d be waiting for it.
“We didn’t even get engaged,” you pointed out, in an attempt to be cynical, probably.
He coughed, “We talked about it. Good thing—We didn’t get that far because, well.”
“I think we both thought marrying would salvage us from falling,” you stated. “Or we thought it was the next step.”
He shrugged, “Yeah, I think we did,” he admitted. “But I—Back then I really thought, I dunno. I was really about to ask.”
You took a deep breath, “I would’ve said yes,” you said easily, though it hurt to even think about it. Though, you had been prepared to say yes.
“It wouldn’t have been right,” he pointed out. “We would’ve broken up before even getting to plan it.”
He was right. So, so right, because where you were heading wasn’t a wedding, you were heading to an even more hurtful breakup.
The decision had been made acknowledging this. Knowing it would hurt less then. Avoiding a terrible breakup.
“We were on a thin line,” you agreed. “Anything would’ve broken us.”
“I knew we were going through a rough patch but—I think we never realized how rough it was.”
You sighed, “Maybe I fucked up when we came back here, when I decided not to move in.”
Tom took a deep breath, “No, it wasn’t that.”
What was it? What had it been?
“I don’t know where we went wrong,” you admitted. “I really don’t.”
He shook his head, confirming he didn’t either. When asked, neither of you had a reason. It just—happened. Things had been just so rough and hard. Nothing to hold on to.
Though it didn’t make sense, you loved him. And he loved you.
“I think we both expected things to get better by themselves.” Tom played with his fingers and watched the window, staring at the raindrops slipping through it. Sliding easily, without no one stopping them.
“And we grew tired of fighting,” you added, as you stopped at a red light.
“Can't even remember what we were fighting about,” he confessed.
You took a heavy breath in, as the music still played in the background. “About nothing, and about everything. We fought over serious stuff, like whether we wanted to be public or not. A little about Tim and Cherry. And over stupid stuff mostly, yeah mostly over stupid stuff. Like when we were supposed to wake up for certain events or what tie you’d wear for James’ wedding, we fought over you staying at my place too much. We also fought about FaceTime hours, and whether we had to ask if we were available for it or not.”
Tom dedicated his glance back to you, sad, upset and full of regret. “I remember the cereal one.”
You raised your brows, “Yeah, that one was a smashing doors one.”
“Over stupid cereal,” he sighed as he brushed his face. “We were so—“
“Toxic?” You finished his sentence.
He chuckled, “yeah, mostly at the end.”
“The beginning too, I mean,” you shook your head. “I—We had sex to just solve everything. Thomas, we had hatred sex.”
He chuckled. “Well.”
You shrugged, “And that’s how we solved the fights initially.”
“It wasn’t enough at the end,” he added.
“It never was, and that’s—Thats why, although we both said we would talk we just—I think that’s why it didn’t work, at the end we just—grew tired of each other, the spark was gone.”
He nodded. “Yeah.”
“Maybe it was the script,” you pointed out. “Everything concerning it.”
Learning he had a lot to do with the fact it was made had made you doubt yourself, the one true accomplishment had come because he had come to the rescue. Although it had been nice it had really started the downfall of your trust.
“No,” he shrugged.
He didn’t want to talk about it. You had had enough talks about the script, over the fact you wrote it and then regretted it. Over filming and the input he had in the movie, how the character had more in depth than before.
Over the fact he had come to your rescue because it hadn’t been good enough. That one specially had been the start of your downfall. Seemed that when you learned about it, you had completely gone mental. Though, it had come from his heart, he didn’t understand why you were angry.
You had always asked him not to ever give a hand with your writing, if you wanted to succeed it would be for your own accomplishments.
Then again, there was also this side that loved he had helped.
Truth is, it hadn’t affected your relationship, but it had affected your own self trust. And if you can’t trust yourself, however will you trust someone else?
Enough talks had been had.
“No,” Tom started. “We were guilty. Both of us, as if we were making it up for past mistakes. I never stopped thinking about what Tim said, and I think that’s why I always tried making it up for all the other times I hurt you. And then you tried making it up for the script, or—Whatever, it was a relationship built up on guilt.”
“Yeah, I think,” you whispered almost not wanting to be heard, “we both had things to learn about ourselves, and forgive ourselves first… and the timing was wrong.”
Tom shrugged, “Isn't it always wrong with us?”
Time was your true enemy. Or maybe it was easier to blame time rather than yourselves. Time was nothing.
It had been you and your pride or your fear, or whatever you came up with now.
However, there was some truth in that statement. Maybe in the past few months it had been time.
When you had told James and Harry you might want to get back together, Tom was dating.
When you were dating, Harry had told you he was thinking about it.
But what about now? Neither of you were dating, you were single and every odd could push you both to be together. Yet…You were not.
How disappointing, you would always think. Such a long story to end up like this.
How disappointing, really.
“No,” he stated, once again. “It’s not time. The problem might be we are the most stupid people to walk on earth.”
“Sounds reasonable,” you said. You nudged him, “look at us now, though, able to talk.”
“I like where we are, yeah,” Tom commented. “I think we are in a good place, we trust each other, we are friends, good friends, we take care, we hang out. We talk. And actually talk.”
You were focusing on the road, mainly, but your heart wanted to say more things. “Yeah.”
“There’s something bothering you,” Tom stared, intrigued.
“I don’t like you avoiding me,” you stated. “I really can’t stand it.”
“I won’t avoid you, then.”
Then, it was quiet. And it didn’t matter, you enjoyed moments of silence, and it wasn’t awkward. Both of you had learned that sometimes you just don’t have to say a word.
But you had to, in fear he would feel you were angry at the previous conversation.“It’s not even all songs I like,” you pointed out.
“Hm?”
“The playlist,” you decided you didn’t want to continue that past conversation.
He coughed, “So we are changing the conversation, huh? Well, they are songs that remind me of you but hey!” He nudged you. “Which ones don’t you like?”
So easily changing subjects and getting out a smile.
“I—we can get back to that later,” you turned to him and let out a soft chuckle. “songs that remind you of me?” You smirked, poking his shoulder.
He blushed, rolling his eyes. “Yes,” he admitted defeatedly.
You laughed, “You’re such a nerd.”
“What the fuck! It’s supposed to be sweet!” He complained.
You shrugged. “Or creepy.”
“No, it’s not—“
“I’m kidding I’m—more flattered than spooked—“ you admitted. “So why are you playing it?” You poked his cheek this time and he pushed your hand away.
“Because I’ve noticed you always complain about the music so when I play this you don’t!” He explained, annoyed.
“Oh, so it’s merely to keep me quiet,” you snickered, nodding.
Tom was moving his jaw, “Yes, basically.”
You glanced again, mischievously. “Wasn’t it supposed to be sweet?”
“No.”
You reached for his hair. “Tommy.”
“Don’t Tommy me,” he chuckled. “You called me creepy.”
“Yes, I don’t know how to flirt so I bully you, I thought we had that covered,” you snapped without giving it a second thought. Then completely regretting it.
His smirk was wide now, as he laughed maniacally. “Oh so you’re flirting.”
Your turn to blush had come. “No.”
He grinned. “You are.”
But then it was a miracle, a way to avoid this subject completely because it was not the conversation to be having with the current situation. “Shut up.”
“No, you are trying to flirt with me, I won’t shut up!” He mocked you.
“Shut up!”
“No!”
“Thomas! I think that’s Harry!”
tag list @spidxrparkxr @mukesnugget @anxiousdesignerdancerbandlover @happywolves81 @happywolves81 @happywolves81 @happywolves81 @applenter @claredolphinbear24 @claredolphinbear24 @tomshufflepuff @avengersgirllorianna @nevertoofarfromivar @nevertoofarfromivar @herofiennestiffinashardinscott. @tomzfrog @dark-infernal-instruments @awkwardfangirl2014 @awkwardfangirl2014 @tomzfrog @awkwardfangirl2014 @xapham @xapham @tomhollandisagod @tomhollandisagod @laurfangirl424 @vintageroses1014516 @cinnamon-roll-peter @the-lost-fairy-tale @the-lost-fairy-tale @lala-florez @lala-florez @ilcveyou3000 @xxtomxo @xxtomxo @muffinmari25 @cassindeansass @rogers-obsessed-barnes-curious @southsidespideyy @nathaliabakes @nathaliabakes @nathaliabakes @embrace-themagic @bradfordbantams @sanniegirl1214 @sanniegirl1214 @softholand @softholand @fairytaleparker @griff1ndor @softholand @thatweirdomimic @griff1ndor @reginalaufeyson-holmes @better-daisy @yeahimcrying @allmonstersxarehuman @spider-manholland @spider-manholland @itstaskeen @georiaang @sebxstianbarnes @kissingtrutharchives @snoopy3000 @snoopy3000 @spideyparkerstark @fanfic-4-you @lexshead @lexshead @mannien @whitewolfandthefox @melodiclovesong @melodiclovesong @melodiclovesong @bizzlepotter @acceptance07 @witchythingscore @bizzlepotter @swaggyspiderman @localfangirlx @queengemsworld @liberty0123 @stiles-banshees @stiles-banshees @itsjusttor @annathesillyfriend @annathesillyfriend @dangerousluv1 @tomshufflepuff @thewayilookatbacon @emjaywrites @emjaywrites @infamousmany @jungeunave @emjaywrites @ispiderdudei @ispiderdudei @literalfsngirltrash @quacksonhq @quacksonhq @desir-ae @desir-ae @desir-ae @desir-ae @peterporkpie @smolpeachees @thenoddingbunny-blog @quackeroos @quackeroos @spideyyeet @astoldbydanid @astoldbydanid @hollandcreep @hollandcreep-blog @milly7110 @milly7110 @rebekkah4766 @farfromtommy @rubberducky-jrr @rubberducky-jrr @coveredinthemessimade @shameless-self-promo-of-a-shrub @sweetiesangster @thatdamjoke @annathesillyfriend @l0ove-sick-blues @witchythingscore @witchythingscore @bookworm06 @bookworm06 @lala-florez @lala-florez @lala-florez @shezzalockeddoctor @chaoticpete @peeterparkr @shezzalockeddoctor @cosmichollands-blog @lowkey-love-loki @badbitchydecisions @w4ybefor3nir4na jj @saintlavrents @americaswritings @americaswritings @lukesbabylon @ilovepeterparker13 @iamaunicorn4704 @simple-things @simple-things @sip-portteam @lukesbabylon @herondale-snow-carstairs @quaksonhehe0 @stargazerholland @tony-starks-ego @hotrubycrab @sovereignparker @peter-parker-tony-stank-trash @belleknows @mysticalinsomniac @nycparkers @mysticalinsomniac @anythingthaticareabout @spn-assemble-seven @anythingthaticareabout @tanyalooovesyou @heartofholland @peachybloomss @peachybloomss @emyla3305 @emyla3305–butt @hollandstanevans @hollandstanevans @farfromtommy @southbeachfeeling @eridanuswave @tonguetiedholland @wolvesofthewinter @quacksonobrien @dcnerd98 @ifntelyinspirit @electraheart-3174 @julialucena5 @itsmilamawson @harryssuckz @harryssuckz @xstarbae @xstarbae @xstarbae @xstarbae @averyfosterthoughts @darethedragonknights @darethedragonknights @justanamesstuff @emyla3305 @abbiefangirls247 @hannahholland1811 @itscaminow @youllbmineandillbeyoursbabelove @hotrubycrab @spidey-holland-96 @awkwardnesshabitat @geminiparkers@primadonnasdream @slytherinambitious @slytherinambitious @where-art-thau-romeo @viagracex @viagracex @sspidermanss @pcterparxer @whatevshollandarchive @whatevshollandarchive @aleyabee @lovewolfspirit @lovewolfspirit @xallyouneedislovexx @panicattheeverywherekid @pcterparxer @thehauntingofmymind @redhoodparker @redhoodparker @cakepopcriss @allthisfortommy @aleyabee @perspectiveparker @let-me-luve-you @erodasghosts @xxpeachyxo @m-a-r-i-n-t-p @superstarchick @notjustpenandpaper @morbiddanvers @runaway3 @runaway3 @runaway3 @lu-morningstar @th0ttie4tommy @th0ttie4tommy @riasaurusrex @frustratingpaperclip @readheadwriter @geesquariid @geesquariid @noxceleste @peterparker-rickybowen-mybabies @witchything @peterporkpie @bookworm06 @sinisterspidey
@peterporkpie @imthefloor @ohmyquackson @ohmyquackson @wangtan-boys @obiwanownsmyass @sadisticfries @not-some-docile-teenager @galaxystern08 @lovemarvelousfics @lovemarvelousfics @tomzfrog @thearchersupremacy @nikitajackson @dayazenn @the-fandom-life-forever @just-kickin-ass @quaksonhehe @quaksonhehe @samaratheweirdo @fr3akingphantrash @i-love-superhero @mandeeleebeebee @captainamirica @dramaticdiva @halparkebitch @lostgirlmuseum @white-wolf1940
#perennial#tom holland#tom holland x reader#tom holland angst#tom holland series#tom holland fluff#tom holland imagine#tom holland x you#tom holland x y/n#tom holland fic#tom holland imagines#spiderman#poetry#perfidy
106 notes
·
View notes
Text
A guide to the 02 kids’ personalities and overall demeanors
I’ve already covered the deeper details of each 02 kid’s character arc and development throughout the series, but I figured I might dedicate a more specific post about the complexities of their outer personalities, and their behavior patterns on a day-to-day basis. 02 is the kind of series that doesn’t really spell out what the characters tend to do or don’t tend to do, or what boundaries they will and won’t cross, which means it can be a bit of a challenging task to track their behavior over fifty episodes and figure out the patterns. Fortunately, these characters are written remarkably consistently over said episodes, so we have a lot to work with!
Disclaimer before we continue: In general, all of my 02-based meta is specifically written for the Japanese version in mind, but this especially applies to this one, because the majority of the nuances of the demeanor and personality traits described below were not retained in the American English dub at all (please see this post for more detail). As a result, please understand that if you’re working from the perspective of having only seen that dub, and the contents of the below post sound completely different, that would be why.
Daisuke and V-mon
Believe it or not, I would say that Daisuke is actually the most difficult to nail the nuances of out of this entire cast. This is probably a really weird thing to hear when the usual fandom mantra is that he’s “flat” or “lacking in development”, but I think the deceptive part is that while he’s simple-minded and himself doesn’t think in complex terms, analyzing his behavior as a whole and how he approaches things actually involves a lot of very delicate balances, and getting that exactly right can be very easy to mess up. Daisuke’s not a rude jerk who looks down on anyone, not in the slightest -- but he’s also not a saint who can do no wrong, either!
I think the easiest analogy (which I’ve brought up several times on this blog already) is that Daisuke is like a puppy, but not just any puppy -- a tiny puppy that barks very loudly at anything it perceives as threatening (regardless of whether it’s actually threatening), makes its feelings very clear with obvious likes and dislikes, and can do some phenomenally stupid things in a bid to please others, but in the end means no malice and only wants you to be happy.
This is to the point where I’m just going to have to bullet-point this, because there’s so much going on at once:
Excessively emotional: One of Daisuke’s earliest profiles refers to him as having “an excessively large range of human emotions”, and really, a lot of the humor surrounding him has to do with the fact he has incredibly dramatic, overblown reactions to nearly everything around him. So if he gets a little annoyed or suspicious of people making fun of him, he tends to get really dramatic about being upset, and when he experiences only a minor setback, he acts like it’s the end of the world, and when he’s emotionally hurt, he sometimes even gets set on the verge of crying (you can especially hear this in Kiuchi Reiko’s delivery). Even Daisuke himself doesn’t tend to get caught up in it for too long and gets over things surprisingly quickly, so you can take it as him just constantly being too wrapped up in the mood -- but when it really is a serious situation, he gets truly emotionally invested in it, too.
Too easy to read: Because Daisuke wears his heart on his sleeve and is dramatic about everything, he’s awful at hiding anything. Any attempt at trickery or trying to disguise his intentions quickly blows up in his face because he’s too simple-minded and too transparent.
Not malicious: Daisuke only ever lashes out or gets angry at others when he thinks others are doing something he disapproves of, or when he thinks he’s being attacked; he’s very warm and kind to everyone otherwise (even in the earliest parts of the series, when he’s at his roughest, you might notice he’s very soft around Chibimon, as if understanding that his partner is now in a very small and delicate form and needs to be treated accordingly). In other words, Daisuke is very quick to get defensive, but he has no malice or reason to be condescending towards anyone otherwise, and he’s perfectly friendly with people even when they’d provoked him earlier (because he doesn’t really hold grudges). He doesn’t attack people without reason; even when he voices dissent against what someone is doing, he very rarely, if ever, insults a person or their character directly. Even when he’s trying to state his opinions (such as when he bids for the others to accept Ken), he never forces them down others’ throats and accepts that they disagree with him, even if he’s clearly not happy with their disagreement.
Easily critical and suspicious: Daisuke is a very bluntly straightforward and honest person, and he seems to get most set off by people who act suspicious; note how his early-series outbursts towards Takeru tend to be when Takeru’s acting evasive, and in Hurricane Touchdown, he catches onto Wallace’s shady behavior even before he starts flirting with Miyako (Daisuke’s own method of trying to seem attractive to others involves just “doing something cool and hoping it’ll impress others”, so he seems to dislike the concept of flirting as a whole). Because of that, he catches easily onto “things looking off”, so he tends to call it out (even if sometimes he’s overdoing it and there isn’t actually anything significant to be upset about).
Supportive and adoring of others: Other than the moments when he gets set off, fundamentally speaking, Daisuke likes other people, is perfectly willing to acknowledge them or heap praise on them when they do something awesome, and generally cares for their well-being. He’s easily defers to others when he understands they’re better than him at something, and he even has a decently realistic scope of his limits (see how he’s perfectly aware he’s likely to lose the soccer game in 02 episode 8, and figures he might as well enjoy the experience). This is even taken to its logical conclusion in the Kizuna drama CD when he “credits” his friends for giving him amazing and insightful advice when all of it was actually pretty ordinary stuff they’d done offhandedly. It also means that, given his penchant for getting emotionally invested in everything, he has a huge emotional stake in making sure his friends are doing okay, and supports them accordingly.
Deferential to seniors/elders: Tying into the above, you may notice that Daisuke takes a properly respectful and soft tone towards his elders and seniors in nearly all occasions, even to the point of occasionally using proper polite-form language around them. All things considered, Daisuke is a pretty well-behaved kid.
Constantly getting strung around: As much as Daisuke looks like he’s aggressive, in actuality, it’s very easy to get him to back down if you argue against him strongly enough, and since he has such a “the heck is that?!” attitude all of the time, you can see him constantly getting strung around and at the mercy of things happening around him. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have enough will to put his foot down when it becomes a really important subject (especially in the second half of the series), but it’s very often when he’ll be talked down by others around him and shrink with an “oh...okay...” In fact, this is why a lot of his actions aren’t nearly as reckless as they might be otherwise; as much as he’s a bit hot-headed and likes to lead the attack, he also has a sense of self-preservation and intimidation when things look a bit too dangerous, and will only push forward in such a case when there’s something he really believes in at the other side of it.
Lacking in self-awareness and insecure as a result: While Daisuke doesn’t have any signs of persistent self-hatred (on the contrary, there are times he arguably comes off as overconfident), it also seems that he has practically zero awareness of how he himself is doing -- which means that he ends up rolling over like an idiot trying to get others’ approval and trying to impress them, even when it’d be clear to anyone else that he already has that approval. This also likely ties into the fact that he’s perfectly capable of acknowledging others’ accomplishments and skills (see above), so you might even think that the problem isn’t so much that he thinks he’s bad as much as he keeps comparing himself to people he perceives as being that much more awesome. (Perhaps symbolic of this, he apparently has a complex over being shorter than Takeru and Ken, despite the fact that he seems to be of perfectly average height for a kid his age.) It seems that his only bar for how he’s doing is dependent on everyone’s reactions around him, hence why his ridiculous antics are significantly less pronounced when he has proper emotional support and friends to keep him in check. It’s also important to consider that this applies to his apparent crush on Hikari as well; his crush mainly manifests in wanting her approval very badly, and it’s mostly visible in terms of him losing a ton of brain cells in her presence and bending over backwards to please her or impress her. He never actually says in words that he’s interested in her, nor does he ever show signs of intending to seriously ask her out, so it’s something that’s only apparent because of this behavior, and it’s very likely he hasn’t even seriously thought through what would happen if she actually accepted him in return. You can basically see this as an extreme version of the way Daisuke tries to get approval from everyone else, and this trait of his noticeably dies down whenever there’s more important things at hand, or when he seems to be in the midst of getting proper validation from those around him.
Simple-minded and pragmatic: What’s usually referred to as Daisuke being an “idiot” comes from the fact he doesn’t play well with complex thinking, tends to settle for very simple explanations or answers, and more thoughtful types like Ken or Iori will often have to fill that part in for him. However, because Daisuke is so simple-minded, he’s sometimes the most pragmatic person in the group, because he doesn’t overthink things or get principles of theory caught up into everything. So if Ken is clearly not showing any indication of doing bad things anymore and is actively working to help, Daisuke believes he should be allowed to help regardless of what he’d done in the past, and if they’re dealing with the situation of potentially having to kill a living enemy, Daisuke points out that hesitation would have resulted in even more casualties. In essence, in a situation where everyone’s running mental loop-de-loops, Daisuke will usually be the first one to snap them all out of it and go “uh? Guys?” Moreover, this trait of his makes him very good at spotting glaring threads or asking questions about the elephant in the room, because since he works best with things that are right in front of him, he can’t not notice it.
Enjoys the little things: Because Daisuke is so simple-minded, it’s very easy to please him (this is why his chosen career path is something as simple as ramen making). Daisuke likes his friends, and appreciates even simple things around him, so he’s happy with even simple pieces of happiness -- hence, why he’s fine with potentially losing the soccer game in 02 episode 8, because he’s ready to simply just savor the experience of getting to play against a respectable and formidable opponent.
Note that the main reason Daisuke never seems to bring up any of these issues with himself within the series proper is simply that he doesn’t seem to be aware of them -- he’s too simple-minded to understand what’s going on with his own behavior in depth, and hence, this is how he can say he’s not worried about too much by the time of 02′s finale, especially since by that point he has a proper support group that’s already helping him deal with most of his issues anyway.
Daisuke also has the roughest speech pattern out of any of the 02 group (similar to Taichi and Yamato in Adventure); he has a tendency to shorten words a lot and use “rough” variants of words (for example “-nee” instead of “-nai”).
Mischievous, friendly, and playful, V-mon is pointed out even by official sources to be much like his partner (far more so than usual), and it’s likely a byproduct of the fact that Daisuke himself is very honest and straightforward about his emotions and thoughts, and so since he has nothing to hide, V-mon is pretty much exactly like him -- with the major difference being that he’s a little more outwardly friendly and less likely to lash out angrily. So he’s effectively Daisuke without that very thin abrasive exterior, and because both of them are so like-minded and friendly, they get along extremely well (albeit with quite a bit of comfortable bantering on the way there).
Ken and Wormmon
Ken is the more intellectual type that Daisuke isn’t, and even after his stint as the Kaiser, it’s clear that he’s still quite studious and naturally interested in studying things. Looking closely at his style of dress and way of carrying himself (note how he lays down his chopsticks in 02 episode 36) indicates he’s also a rather tidy person in general. Being someone who’s capable of thinking things thoroughly, this makes him able to have a lot of deep insight into both intellectual and emotional issues, but because he takes things too seriously sometimes, he can sometimes come off as a bit overly stickler or insistent (note Daisuke and Ken’s Shopping Carol, where he subjects Daisuke to a long-winded lecture about the history of Christmas, because, really, he’s a nerd), or lead himself down the wrong direction when he’s having a hard time being straightforward (such as when he comes up with some very flimsy theories about why Jogress might be dangerous in 02 episode 28).
In fact, Ken’s disposition could be considered to be the opposite of Daisuke’s in many ways; while Ken is much softer and more conciliatory on the surface, he’s actually much more assertive and strong-willed by default, and it’s made clear that, even after his reformation from the Kaiser persona, he could still be vicious if he wanted to, he just doesn’t enjoy it because he doesn’t like it and it goes against his belief system (note that he even offered to "dirty his own hands" in lieu of the other kids if push came to shove and Archnemon had to be killed in 02 episode 29, even though he clearly wasn't enthusiastic about the idea). In fact, he has a very strong sense of responsibility and believes heavily in making up for what he’s done -- recall that 02 episodes 26 and 49 involved snapping him out of it by reminding him that there were things that needed to be done, and that he himself still had many things he wanted to do that wouldn’t be addressed if he’d stayed fixated on his past. Thus, Ken doesn’t deny nor avoid anything he’d done, and he isn’t even all that prone to self-pity -- it’s just that his tendency to put too much responsibility on himself means that he also takes a while to accept everyone’s support, too, because he doesn’t like the idea of putting burdens on others.
Because Ken is actually one of the more straightforward people in this group and a fairly honest person (at least, as long as he’s not lying to himself), he might hold himself back a little bit in order to not be rude, but he doesn’t do it nearly to the same degree Takeru or Hikari would and is much more willing to speak his mind when he has an opinion he wants to voice or needs to sort out his thoughts on something. Conversely, he’s not nearly as cold as Iori can get when criticizing things (he’ll certainly be firm, but not as incisive). Most post-02 materials also indicate that he’s not above being a tease or even a little mischievous (see Armor Evolution to the Unknown, Diablomon Strikes Back, Daisuke and Ken’s Shopping Carol).
Ken uses a speech pattern that’s slightly more casual than Takeru’s, but not nearly as rough as Daisuke’s. While anime will often have speech patterns substantially change between different personas of a character, other than Park Romi’s delivery of a more condescending tone for the Kaiser and a significantly softer one for Ken, nothing about his speech pattern is substantially different between the two personas (not even the first-person pronoun), indicating that, in the end, they’re really the same person after all, just manifesting the same personality traits in different ways.
Wormmon is affectionate and clingy, unfailingly loyal to Ken, and his biggest advocate during a time when Ken is trying to relearn how to love and accept himself -- meaning that he ends up very important to providing Ken the initial support he needed before Ken allowed other friends into his life. Wormmon isn’t all nothing but clinginess, though -- he has some insight about the weight of his experiences when prompted (02 episode 46), and in fact is more than capable of calling out Ken’s behavior when he’s being unreasonable or throwing himself into denial (see 02 episodes 27, 30, and 49).
Miyako and Hawkmon
Miyako approaches everything she likes with an attitude that makes her come off as constantly having bubbles and hearts around her. When she likes something, she says so. When she doesn’t like something, she says so (and she will go off when she’s on a roll; see 02 episode 14). In fact, part of the reason she so infamously voices her opinion on people being cute is, quite simply, that it’s her honest opinion. (Note that she never actually tries to ask them out or anything -- she just wants to make it very clear that they’re attractive.)
For the most part, she adores the people around her, and, like the others in the 02 group, she’s perfectly respectful towards elders. She also loves poking her nose in others’ business and trying to be as helpful as possible, which is good in that she ends up being a huge help to others, but also not good in that sometimes she overdoes it a bit (when Hikari calls her out for being a “handful” in 02 episode 31, the word she uses is one that literally means "a little too overly involved in others' business").
Miyako is the one who gets everyone up in high spirits by being cheerful, and whose cheer rubs off on everyone else around her (see her cheerfully leading the charge into the Digital World with her “Digital Gate, open! Chosen Children, let’s roll!” catchphrase). This is something the rest of the group catches onto very quickly, asking her to supply the “usual cheer”, and the later episodes of the series especially drive home the fact that her presence and antics bring happiness to those around her.
Miyako has a similar “chaotic, sloppy, and straightforward” demeanor to Daisuke, but there are some key differences. Unlike Daisuke, who’s bluntly honest about his opinions mainly because he doesn’t really hide things in general, Miyako’s opinions will be out of her mouth before she can control it. In other words, she has a nasty case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. In addition, while Daisuke tends to have a very thin skin and lashes out defensively out of instinct, Miyako takes things much more at face value and doesn’t blow a fuse nearly as easily, but because she’s significantly more assertive and aggressive, she’s much more prone to doing what she wants on her own whims instead of backing down to anyone. In fact, Miyako is significantly more emotionally sensitive in the long run, so while Daisuke tends to blow a fuse more easily, he’s also able to shrug it off and move on more quickly, whereas Miyako has a thicker skin, but when she does take emotional pain, she takes it much more deeply and harshly. She also tends to get overwhelmed easily by stress and panic, which makes her one of the more prone to running around in circles and doing frantic things in the midst of it.
One thing you might notice about Miyako is that she’s actually more critical of herself than anyone else in the group is; most of the time they act with mild exasperation at her antics but don’t tend to criticize her directly, whereas Miyako is very aware of her own shortcomings and is constantly either criticizing herself or comparing herself negatively to others (see: 02 episodes 10, 14, 18, and 31 especially). If she slips up and does something that stepped on someone else’s toes, it doesn’t take her long to realize that she’s messed up and want to do better. So while she generally tends to act the most in-your-face and aggressive, she also doesn’t necessarily want to be this way, and suffers from self-confidence issues and a poor opinion of herself.
Miyako uses a feminine speech pattern that’s a bit more casual than Hikari’s (she noticeably is willing to use the word anta for “you”, which has a bit of a connotation of being abrupt and in-your-face, especially with Daisuke). She’s also the most likely to physically manhandle things, both in the affectionate (hugging people) and aggressive (grabbing things and jumping on them in order to attack) senses.
Hawkmon is repeatedly referred to as being like Miyako’s “knight”, since he has absolute loyalty to her (in spite of her ridiculous antics often meaning he gets strung around by her) and is effectively in charge of minding her so she doesn’t get too out of control. While his overly polite and gentlemanly demeanor initially seems like a sharp contrast to Miyako’s aggressive and messy personality, you might also notice that, at their cores, the two aren’t all that different -- both are unfailingly loyal to others, and both also have a penchant for dramatic theatrics and being a bit overly proud of themselves.
Iori and Armadimon
The key thing to know about Iori is that he’s not stoic because he’s not feeling fervent emotions, but rather because he’s constantly holding them back (this is especially apparent if you look carefully at his facial expressions and Urawa Megumi’s delivery, where you can tell his facade is often “slipping” even when his words would indicate otherwise). Since Iori is trying to live by the ideal of being a model citizen, especially under the very formal environment he was raised in, he comes off as mature for his age, but it’s very important to not forget that, underneath all that, he’s still an impressionable nine-year-old child with the wide range of emotions and immaturity of one, and when he does emotionally fall apart, everything tends to burst out (see 02 episodes 16, 44, 47, 50). In addition, Iori is never condescending about the fact he usually acts more mature than the others; the impression is that he’s much more strict with himself than he is with others, and in fact still does look up to his elders in the 02 group even when they’re obviously a lot messier than he is.
The “need to be a model citizen” is something looming over Iori’s head at almost every moment, and it’s the easiest way to understand the way he acts in a nutshell. Iori is focused on the idea of “becoming a proper adult”, which means that he’s adhering to all of these principles because he feels they’re necessary to live a proper and honest life as per the formal manners that his family background trained him into. But like a young child who insists “you have to do this because those are the rules!” all of the time, Iori is over-applying all of this, and even his own grandfather advises him that he really needs to chill (02 episodes 5, 24). In short, he struggles with thinking flexibly and understanding that life isn’t all that clear-cut, because he’s a young child. Since he also tends to bring out these things in relation to “what my father would do/say”, it’s implied that he’s basing all of this off of having only hearsay to work off of in regards to what his father was actually like, to the point of aspiring to an impossible, saintlike version of him he’d created in his head.
Note that Iori’s “rules” have less to do with institutional rules (that would be more of a Jou thing) and more to do with self-imposed personal rules; for instance, he doesn’t mind sneaking into school during a holiday when it’s obviously not hurting anyone (02 episode 6), but he struggles with things like wasting food (02 episode 3) or not formally introducing himself to an elder (02 episode 5). So in other words, his adherence to principles has heavily to do with “the right and proper way to live” more than anything, and what he believes is the right thing to do in a given situation.
Iori’s journey in 02 is largely fueled by the fact that, as an inheritor of sorts of the Crest of Knowledge, he has a sense of “I want to know and understand more” whenever he sees something that makes him curious, but unlike Koushirou’s desire to learn more about the world around him in terms of its technical workings, Iori mainly wants to know more about people. The reason he begins to let go of his inflexible mindset is that he has the humility to understand that he still has a lot more to learn and understand, and when he sees behavior from others that doesn’t make sense, he does his best to learn more about it -- hence how his aggressive probing into learning more about Takeru allows them to reach an understanding and eventual Jogress, and how he’s able to eventually reassess his own view of human morality and emotions.
Iori sticks out in that he almost always uses the formal variant of Japanese in most situations (nobody else in the 02 group does this). However, formal in this situation doesn’t necessarily mean polite; Iori doesn’t believe in flattery and will bluntly state his opinion in said formal tone, and will be very cold towards something he sufficiently disapproves of or doesn’t have any respect for, which can make him even come off as passive-aggressive at times. (Noticeably, while he still asserts his own opinion, he does refrain from criticizing the others in the 02 group too much, presumably because he respects and looks up to them a lot as his elders, regardless of how chaotic they can sometimes get.) In addition, because a lot of his demeanor comes from him restraining himself, when his emotions are sufficiently pushed over the edge, he loses grip on the polite form and starts “lapsing” back into the casual one.
Because Iori was so young during 02, and because the events of its story ended up really upending his view of the world, the huge eight-year gap between 02 and Kizuna makes it difficult to predict certain things about his demeanor at the time of Kizuna (especially since his own voice actor commented on the difficulty of conveying the nuances of Iori’s character, thanks to only being able to work with the limited time frame of a movie that doesn’t put him in the kinds of emotionally drastic situations that push him to his limit). That said, everything we’ve seen of him in the movie itself and the drama CD makes reasonable sense; now that he’s much older, he comes off as having much better restraint on his emotions and coming off as genuinely calm, but he’s still not one for flattery, and you can still see very minor slips in his facade every so often.
Armadimon also initially seems like a sharp contrast to Iori in terms of demeanor, in that he’s much more casual and laid-back, and he’s indeed a huge factor in reminding Iori to chill once in a while -- but, much like Iori, he prods and asks questions about anything he’s curious about. This initially seems to be out of simple-mindedness because, being a Digimon, he doesn’t understand human society that well, but his very basic questions often end up snapping Iori back to reality in realizing that he’s getting hung up on things that don’t actually make practical sense. Urawa also felt that Armadimon fills in some of the void that Iori’s late father left behind, in that he provides Iori with unconditional love and helps guide him.
Takeru and Patamon
Takeru is the kind of person who seems to dislike major disruptions to the status quo, so he doesn’t say anything inflammatory that’ll rock the boat. It’s very difficult to get him to talk about serious topics related to his deeper personal feelings (02 episode 17, 35, Spring 2003), and even when it’s clear he might have more misgivings on the situation, unless it’s an urgent situation where it needs to be brought up, he won’t voice his misgivings too clearly for the sake of not causing trouble (hence why Daisuke is so unsure what to make of him in the early episodes of the series, because Takeru constantly fails to clarify his own position in favor of a “good for you” or “sure, you keep believing that if you want” attitude). This also makes him the most likely to awkwardly change the subject or try to distract with small talk, and it means that, even when he’s saying cheerful, pleasant things, it’s very likely there’s pain or uncertainty under that initial facade. (Note that while his suspicions of Ken during 02 episodes 25 and 27 aren't nearly as vicious as Iori's turn out to be, we learn that he's still willing to quietly accuse Ken of working for his own self-satisfaction in the latter episode, but he never brings this up to anyone but himself.)
Because Takeru isn’t necessarily doing this to be consciously dishonest, it does mean that he also has positive applications of this tendency to take everything in stride and keep the peace, because he ends up keeping the more extreme personalities in the rest of the group in line and acts as an effective mediator. You could say that he has a pretty high amount of tolerance and a capacity for taking everyone’s points of view in mind. However, since it’s also very difficult to tell what he himself is thinking, his use of this as a poor coping mechanism for his personal trauma leads to a tendency for him to suddenly explode in a mess of emotions whenever something gets too personal, leading to sudden conflict, and with others at a loss in terms of how to deal with him (the most extreme example being 02 episode 19, but also present in 13, 11, and 34). This “two-sidedness” is why it ends up having to be the more consciously methodical Iori who steps up to try and understand him better as his Jogress partner.
Fortunately, Takeru shows signs of becoming more straightforward in the aftermath, although you can see that he still has a penchant for mild flattery and “trying to hold back for the sake of not being rude” all the way up to Kizuna (but, again, this can’t be said to necessarily be a bad thing when it means he has a valuable skill as a mediator).
Takeru has a fairly neutral speech pattern that comes off as casual but not too aggressive or assertive (not as absurdly polite as Iori’s, but slightly less assertive than Ken’s).
Patamon initially still seems to be “immature” in the same way he was in Adventure, which initially seems to widen the gap in personality between him and Takeru, but looking closer reveals that the differences aren’t as big as they seem; Patamon seems to have gained a capability for slyness and active trolling behind his playfulness (see 02 episode 7), not entirely like Takeru starting to use his evasiveness in a teasing-like manner. Moreover, Patamon does actually seem to have gained a bit of proper maturity in the meantime; see how he instructs the Baby Digimon on convenience store food in 02 episode 3, and in general seems much more willing to take independent action in ways he didn’t always in Adventure. Noticeably, Takeru’s difficulty with his own convoluted feelings means that he can’t even have a proper heart-to-heart with him about it on the situation (most glaring in 02 episode 34, where it’s implied that Takeru would rather leave Patamon to be happy right now instead of bothering him about it), especially because he’s clearly having difficulty even working it out with himself. However, despite their ostensible differences in mentality, Takeru and Patamon have no difficulty getting along at all in 02, and, other than Takeru pampering Patamon a bit, there isn’t all that strong of an impression of them being so mismatched -- perhaps because, in the end, they really aren’t all that different.
Hikari and Tailmon
Taichi stated in Adventure episode 48 that Hikari has a problem where she's so selfless and thinking of others that she'll never speak up about her own problems. Hikari states in 02 episode 31 that she compulsively cannot speak out about her own feelings even if she wanted to, to the point she’s jealous of Miyako for being able to be more open (even if it means being overkill at times). As a result: if Hikari’s talking about “the right thing to do”, or something for everyone’s sake, or something that’s relevant to other people and what’s best for them, she will be extremely vocal and quick to act, and she’s not above even chipping in with criticisms (see: 02 episodes 19, 32, 44). In fact, she’s fully capable of being playful or toying with others if she really wants to (see how she casually manipulates Daisuke into calling a lunch break for everyone in 02 episode 6).
The moment the issue at hand is about herself, though -- her own feelings or pain, or something that might hurt others’ feelings (hence the presumable reason she dodges Daisuke’s affections rather than proactively doing anything about it), or something that would put a burden on others for her own sake -- she completely clams up and refuses to do or say anything, and when bad things start happening to her, she resigns herself to her own fate and concludes she can’t do anything about it. Hence, why she takes such a defeatist attitude towards the Dark Ocean swallowing her up in 02 episodes 13 and 31, and why it’s such a big deal if she even so much as asks for help. 02 episode 31 indicates that Miyako reaching out to her is an important step in breaking her out of her shell, and the Kizuna drama CD -- which has Hikari assertively declare something she personally wants -- heavily implies further that Miyako was instrumental to this becoming possible.
Hikari is compassionate for others to the very end, expresses pity for BlackWarGreymon as early as 02 episode 31, and catches on quickly to Ken’s feelings on himself in 02 episode 37 (and even back when she’d been more skeptical about him in 02 episode 25, she never seemed to have real personal distaste against him as much as she still wanted to make sure he was trustworthy first). But although she’s one of the most compassionate in the group, she’s also one of the most assertive in the group. This leads to something that initially seems like a paradox: she’s actually more fervent about the need to fight than the more aggressive Miyako is. Miyako is, ultimately, emotionally caught up in everything and briefly falls apart at having killed LadyDevimon in 02 episode 44 (even despite knowing how horrible of a person she’d been), but Hikari is the one who points out that there would have been more victims if they hadn’t. 02 episodes 25 and 43 had made it abundantly clear that Hikari didn’t like it at all, but she states in 02 episode 37 repeatedly that they need to prevent there from being victims -- meaning that she values the importance of protecting all lives, including those who would be hurt in the process, and thus has some of the more resilient guts when it comes to the prospect of fighting to save others. Again, her hesitation only comes into play at its worst when it has to do with herself; working to save others is a no-brainer.
Hikari uses a casual feminine speech pattern that’s less in-your-face than Miyako’s, but she’s still a bit more casual than she was in Adventure, when she used the more polite watashi instead of atashi. Interestingly, Tailmon herself seems to have mirrored this as well, presumably because now that she’s had more time to recover from her miserable life under Vamdemon, she’s able to enjoy her life a bit more freely. This means that, while Tailmon is still the most mature and put-together of the Digimon partners in the 02 group, she sometimes acts a little more casual and playful in a similar way to Hikari, and while she has a certain degree of stuffy personal pride (see how she wasn’t very amused at how frivolously the other Digimon were playing around in 02 episode 3), she’s still open to enjoying herself a little more freely. Hikari, for her part, becomes surprisingly like-minded with her during those times -- see them in 02 episode 12 -- and, as stated earlier, it’s not like Hikari isn’t up for making tough decisions when they’re needed, either.
72 notes
·
View notes
Text
god. okay. but if dean and cas both lived, if cas was made human to get him out of the empty, and they both got to sort through their shit and deal with their feelings....
maybe its not in character, but what if they open a cute little diner where the roadhouse used to be? rather than being a full on hunter for the rest of his life, dean gets a chance to settle down a little. the diners still a hunter hot spot and hes happy to give information and help dig up artefacts and bring lore books from the bunker, but he’s starting to feel the aches and pains from the life and wants to settle a little
so he and cas run this diner and have a small library of lore books ready to lend out while hunters eat and catch up, and the locals like them because the food is good and hearty, and because deans very sweet to the kids, and because cas is just this side of charmingly awkward and fond of everyone who comes in on the regular. they have two dogs who mostly nap behind the bar, but also sometimes venture out for treats and scritches
they get married eventually, and theyre just so endearingly in love and besotted that sam makes fun of them but at the end of the day hes emotional and tells them both he loves them and is happy for them. and dean cant stop looking at his ring, because its an unfamiliar weight but he loves it so much - its made of the same stuff as the angel blades, courtesy of jack, and its carved with enochian symbols of love and devotion and forever
and dean and cas grow old together, they get to be uncles and dote on sam and eileens kids so much, and they eventually stop actively hunting when it hurts too much to lift crates of beer and sometimes in the mornings deans knees don’t quite work right and they fall asleep 10 minutes into every movie they try to watch together
and when dean dies first (after a lifetime of drinking and bad food and not looking after himself), cas keeps working the diner, a sad but fulfilled widower, and eventually passes it on to some younger hunters or ex hunters or maybe sams eldest, and he dies years after dean, in his sleep, and wakes up in his own bed, with dean next to him, and theyre finally, truly, safe and happy and together, forever
324 notes
·
View notes
Text
Apple Juice Royalty au!
Some of you might have seen my posts about it but basically i have created an au in which Epel is a prince and Deuce is a knight. I will talk more about them with their chatacter sheets ♡♡
First up our new prince Epel! If you cant read my handwriting I'll type it all out here
☆ Generally pretty emo
☆ Hates the cape and crown, but secretly likes the rest of the outfit
☆ likes horses and swordfighting and sports
☆ Was a boy in the village doin alright then he became a prince overnight now hes gotta figure out how to do it right so much to learn and see up in the c-
Epel is new prince adopted by the king. Under what circumstances, I'm not sure. Its possible his parents died and he was left all alone before Vil scooped him up. Despite what hes been given he's really miserable having to stay in the castle and learn a totally new dialect and manners and study all the time. He hates it. He wants to leave, and so he does. Epel escapes his home often. Also he's basically a disney princess at this point lol
About the outfit: Its based off of epel's dorm uniform and i also used some references from pinterest and Halloween costumes lol
Next is King Vil!
☆ In his 20's or so
☆ sighs a lot
☆ Having ro lead a country + lowkey raising a teen + looking good all the time is stressful
☆ But he manages
☆ Help
Vil became king, most likely when his father died. He decided to adopt an heir early on to save himself the trouble, but it really caused more trouble than it prevented. Epel's a handful and also really angsty. Dealing with him is bothersome, especially when he somehow keeps escaping even when Vil posts more and more guards around the castle, he always gets out somehow. It used to make him angry but he decided it wasn't worth the stress after a little while. Now he just sends people to go look for him whenever he escapes.
About the outfit: I used the same combination of references as I did for Epel, but i was also able to take influence from the evil queen.
Knight Deuce Spade!
☆ Takes his job seriously!
☆ a little too seriously!
☆ Obviously in love with Epel but will deny it to hell.
☆ Can't tall to Epel without blushing and sputtering
☆ Has a weakness for pretty boys
Deuce is a new knight trying to do everything right and make his mother proud. His backstory is the same as it is in canon. Wanting to do right by everyone ends up with him taking his job a little too seriously but he's also terrible at the job he tries so hard at. He's not a good fighter and also dumb. But lucky for him, nothing truly dangerous ever happens in their country.
His conflict is wanting to do his job right and also being head over heels for epel and wanting to see him happy.
About the outfit: I didnt design it, i stole it from some kid. But it fits him doesnt it? source
Chief Riddle Rosehearts!!
☆ Bite-sized knight
☆ Will actually destroy you
☆ Also tired of Epel's BS
☆ I wanted to draw him holding a sword :(
Riddle is another who takes his job very seriously. And he has to. He's the Chief knight and is thus the leader. Everyone has to follow his lead, no ifs ands or buts about it. If you argue, he'll yell at you and thats never fun.
Riddle is the guy Vil calls on whenever Epel escapes. At this point whenever Riddle is called in, this is what he expects the reason is. Riddle puts his all into finding Epel everytime and honestly cares more about it than everyone else does.
I wanted to draw him holdinga sword but couldn't figure it out
About the outfit: I couldn't find many refs of the kind of armor i was going for but it was fine. I took a lot of inspiration from his overblot form. Ignore the fact that he's on a tilt.
Other less important characters!
Trey!
☆ follows Riddle around
☆ Help
Cater!
☆ literally only became a knight to get closer to Vil (simp)
☆ commissions many paintings of himself
Ace!
☆ Messes around, isn't taking this seriously
☆ bad influence
Rook!
☆ Royal advisor
☆ What does he do? Vil doesnt even know.
Everyone else in hearstlabyul is a knight and so please imagine them in the same outfit as Deuce but with their respective symbols.
A lil plot i guess
Epel started sneaking out not too long after he became a prince. As soon as he had settled in he got tired of it. So he'd just leave. These early escapades happened at night whenever Epel was feeling especially emo. He'd normally go to the horse stables and take a ride to clear his mind, or climb a tree and stargaze, something like that. Stuff princes shouldn't do. He'd never leave the castle grounds, though. His secret was only exposed when Deuce found him. He should have reported Epel but that weakness for pretty boys and the empathy he's known for prevented him. It was basically love at first sight when Deuce saw Epel up close for the first time, not that Epel could tell.
After that, Deuce and the other knights (besides riddle) who gradually found out began helping Epel truly escape, like out into the real world. With their help, He could be out for a few days, or weeks even. And as Epel and Deuce start spending more time together, they get closer and closer 👀
My other ships might be here too but I don't really want to design an outfit for Rook lol so mostly just TreyRid on the sidelines maybe.
I do want to make a comic but uhhghnbchg i always quit those lmao I get so unmotivated.
Anyway thank you 4 reading! If you have any suggestions for this au, lmk. If you're wondering, I probably won't add any more characters to this au, since i see no reason to. this is it 4 now
#twisted wonderland#twst#disney twst#apple juice!!!!!#epedeu#twst epel#epel x deuce#epel felmier#deuce x epel#deuce/epel#deucepel#deuce spade#vil schoenheit#royalty au#riddle rosehearts#ace trappola#cater diamond#trey clover
275 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hello Echo, question. Do you still have Four brainrot? Follow up question. Do you have any songs that you associate with Four? Thanks bestie <3
Answer 1: Steel, I ALWAYS have Four brainrot <3
Answer 2: I am literally SO FUCKING GLAD you asked, you have no idea how excited I got seeing this holy shit. HELL YEAH I do!! Take a few songs from my playlist
If I include more than 3 Sleeping At Last, Of Monsters And Men, or The Oh Hellos songs on any given playlist or list of songs you may be entitled to financial compensatio-- *looks at this list* oh whoops
1) Crystals - Of Monsters And Men - this might as well be Four’s theme song for all I associate it with him. It’s so good. So so so good.
2) Call Them Brothers - Regina Spektor - Obligatory Call Them Brothers mention. This is not original at all I've seen so many other people talk about this song with Four and-- yeah they're right this song is about Four JKHEHBFDEKF.
3) Bad Blood - Sleeping At Last - I'm biased. If you know me then expect way too many SAL songs from me in any list of songs ever because I will never shut up about SAL and they have a lot of songs I like. So there's 4 SAL songs on this list, deal with it jhkwewjkwjkfh. Anyway Bad Blood gives me so many Four feels. 11/10
3) Soap - The Oh Hellos - THIS SONNGG. Ouugghh. I could probably dissect this song if I wanted to go over every little thing in it that makes me think of Four & why but I already exhausted my song infodumping capacity on the last song on this list so perhaps some other time HDEGJDDEKF. Just. The vibes AND the lyrics. Mannn
4) Forgive Me Friend - Smith & Thell - I have both the original and the acoustic version saved to my Four playlist because I really like both versions hwdfjefke but. There's so many ways this song could be interpreted w/ Four and tbh I'm just gonna leave it up to everyone else because every time I listen to it I think of something else lol.
5) Meteor Shower - Cavetown - I don't have much to say about this one other than thinking about this song gives me a LOT of emotions jhqkdhwbefjk. Just,,, it has a lot of self-acceptance vibes to me when I listen to it in this context and I think I'm drawing those comfort vibes from the melody? Idk but they're there for me lol
6) Glitter & Gold - Barns Courtney - Someone did a mini AMV to this song w/ Four a while back for the LU zine and I've associated the song with him ever since hwdkjgefhkfev. I like the vibes. Reminds me of the forge.
7) Lakehouse - Of Monsters And Men - Idk what it is about this song. It has a mix of homesickness feels and storytelling feels and something about that makes me think of Four. Also there's a line about breaking trust in here somewhere heehee hoohoo Vio go brr.
8) I Dare You - Bea Miller - my brain can't decide if I actually like this song or not for some reason buuuut it has big Four vibes regardless lmao. Mostly in the lyrics. Definitely in the lyrics
9) No Light, No Light - Florence + The Machine - based more off the vibes of the song than the lyrics. i don't really have an explanation for this one, it's just always given me Four vibes for no reason hdwkjfgeh. Shadow too. I have it one both playlists
10) I Have Made Mistakes - The Oh Hellos - probably self-indulgent but this one has the self-acceptance and self-forgiveness vibes than go hand and hand with Four as a character so <3
11) From The Ground Up - Sleeping At Last - something about the line "in an effort to remember what being mended feels like" shakes me to my core. Am I allowed to slap the "self-acceptance" label on this song and call it a day? Cause,,, yeah the self love in this song. Ough. Also the themes of growth and being somewhere that's truly home.
12) Overture III / Awake - Sleeping At Last - Bestie this one's so self-indulgent. This song is pretty new and when I tell you that I latched onto it the DAY I first heard it FTHDGHWJKEFG. I connect so deeply with this song and I can and will project every emotion I experience ever onto Four which means he gets this song too. <3 Also it once again has themes of self-acceptance
13) September 15, 2017: Cassini - The Grand Finale - Sleeping At Last - OH MY GOD *VIBRATES INTO THE FIFTH DIMENSION*
Alright alright alright. Listen. This song is entirely instrumental. So why do I associate it with Four, you may ask?
WELLLLLLLL.
First of all, happy anniversary to the event this song was written about! Or-- well, it was the anniversary when this ask was sent djwhfkhjdewjhke. I took a while to answer it. BUT still. Happy anniversary!
Second of all, strap in cause I’m about to infodump the hell out of this song on my way to explaining my reasoning behind why I associate it with Four. It might seem irrelevant at first but trust me, I’ll get there.
(All the stuff I mention here is all explained in a much better fashion by the artist behind Sleeping At Last on his podcast episode about the song here. I'd absolutely recommend giving it a listen if you're interested!)
Cassini was written about a satellite with the same name that was built with the intention of exploring Saturn. On September 15, 2017, its journey was complete and its course was set to crash into Saturn in a brilliant grand finale. Hence the name of the song.
This song is a medley of four of Sleeping At Last’s songs, written as a mirror of the exact flight path of the Cassini satellite. (SAL has songs about each of the 9 planets + our moon.)
The song starts and ends with Saturn. The beginning is a chorus singing the tune of SAL's "Saturn" and the ending is that the song on the "Astronomy, Vol. 1" album leads straight into SAL’s "Saturn" to symbolize Cassini crashing into the planet. Cool, right?
After the opening the song crescendos with SAL’s "Earth" to represent Cassini’s launch. Cassini passed by Venus twice in its flight, so the part of the song immediately after that is from SAL's "Venus". The next part of the song (and ofc the next part of Cassini’s flight) is Jupiter! It’s very faint and distant since Cassini only passed by the planet. Aaand then finally it reaches Saturn.
Now what does any of this have to do with Four?
Welllllll, it's all a bit of a stretch but LET ME HAVE THIS hdgjhkjdwef.
I mentioned that Cassini is a medley of 4 different SAL songs.
Venus could easily be associated with Red! It’s a love song and love of course comes from the heart and all that. But it’s also a song that reflects wonder and awe and I feel like that’s a very Red feeling.
Jupiter is a song I associate a lot with Green, not only because of the song itself but also because of the planet and Green’s wind element. Jupiter is well-known for its storms! So it seems fitting for Green. Jupiter is one of the songs I have on my separate playlist for Green too. It has vibes of instinct and wanting to make things count and make a difference which I feel like fits him.
I feel like Saturn and Earth are interchangeable with Blue and Vio. I’d probably tentatively assign Blue to Earth and Vio to Saturn for now despite Earth being Vio’s element and me generally associating that song with him a lot more than Blue anyway. Saturn is a song about loss and trying to move on and I think Vio encompasses that feeling and experience. It’s very melancholy and slower-paced too, which fits Vio more. Whereas Earth is a very powerful, somewhat explosive song (which fits Blue’s vibe) about ignorance and possibly arrogance. ALSO if you go with Blue as Earth then it works even nicer because Earth and Venus are woven together very closely in Cassini. Which could represent how Blue & Red are both the "heart" of Four compared to Vio's mind and Green's instinct.
And ALL of these songs are packed into Cassini into a convenient little medley. Four songs blending seamlessly into one another creating a whole song that makes me want to throw my hands in the air and weep.
And how perfect that the day Steel sent this ask is coincidentally the anniversary of the day the song is about. jhkqdwfgehf. It was meant to be :>
#i didn't proofread this post so please excuse any typos lmao#I also have extensive playlists for each of the colors + shadow but this is four as an individual#if anyone would care to hear the songs i associate with them or any other lu character BY ALL MEANS please send an ask i love doing this#SORRY THIS IS SO LONG LOL I REALLY WENT OFF#IM SORRY IM JUST VERY PASSIONATE ABOUT MUSIC ALRIGHT#JKHGYDWYHSUWD#//#answered echoes#muffinbuttonfan#echoing songs#<- just in case i ever post more playlist stuff there's a tag for that now#four leaf clovers & iridescent steel#lu#linkeduniverse#lu four
16 notes
·
View notes
Text
Queer Subtext in The Illusion of Living - Part 3/?
Yes, you read that right, there will be more parts. This book is a gift that keeps on giving.
As Joey had to work at his father’s shop from a young age, he didn’t really have friends, up until he joined the army at 15 and met Donaldson and Eckhart, as well as Nathan Arch. All three of whom aggressively pressured him to comply with heteronormative behavior: bullying him to go on dates with the army girls, and making fun of him for liking girl stuff.
“The men made fun of me: "Reading a romance there, Drew?" (...) I knew before Donaldson and Eckhart had teased me that supposedly men who were "real men" as someone, maybe Arch, had put it, read about real subjects, nonfiction.” TIOL, page 62
That experience must have left a deep mark on him, because this ‘real man’ complex resurfaces later in TIOL, and even in DCTL:
But his friends also sexted him from across the ocean, which he still recalls fondly decades later:
“Eckhart and Donaldson were still alive, sending me letters with dirty limericks from overseas.” TIOL, page 113
Also worth noting is the difference in how he feels about women asking him to go out versus men doing the same.
“When they were shipped overseas, I genuinely missed them. They were the first gents I'd ever met who could convince me to go out and spend an evening dancing and socializing instead of studying. They showed me that there was some-thing positive about escaping the daily grind that way.
(...)
I had once tried to explain to them that it wasn't that I didn't like girls, or didn't enjoy their company, I just didn't have time for them. I didn't want to go out on nights I needed to stay in.” TIOL, page 28
Girls ask me out = girls bad :(
Boys ask me out = boys hot :)
But then we get to Detective Sinclair, and things get… interesting.
Joey meets Detective Sinclair shortly after leaving the army and moving to New York in 1920, when the man comes to question him about the mysterious murder of his old army colleague. After noting the similarity between the detective and that of Joey’s (mostly gay) neighbors in Greenwich Village, Joey invites him over to his apartment, where they immediately proceed to establish which of them is the alpha male, and it isn’t Joey:
“Once again Detective Adam Sinclair didn't show any sign that he heard me, that he agreed or didn't with my invitation, he just walked into my studio and stood in the middle of the room. He looked around, slowly, taking in the space.” TIOL, page 99
“Too bad.” He flicked the butt of his second cigarette onto my floor and stepped on it thoughtfully. I wasn't going to tell him how rude that was. I wanted the gig and it was obvious he knew. It was also obvious he wanted me to say something about the cigarette.” TIOL, page 110
Joey is utterly fascinated by this display of complete lack of respect for him and begs the detective to let him be his apprentice. He lies about having an interest in becoming a detective someday, but in reality he gives no shit about the work, or the case. His interest is solely in Sinclair.
“(...)this fellow fascinated me.” TIOL, page 100
“I rushed over to my one window to watch as he left the building. He was a hulking shadow again, wandering away from my building without a glance backward. A fantastic character really.” TIOL, page 110
“Detective Sinclair didn't say anything more and again I was following him. I didn't know how he chose who to talk to, and by the time the evening was over I'd forgotten to ask. (...) I tried to do my own detective work about the detective as he went about asking questions.” TIOL, page 115
This wouldn’t be the only time he gets instantly smitten by a man with a cigarette and an air of indifference, and the similarity between Sinclair and Sammy’s introduction is pretty interesting:
"And what's a Joey Drew Studios?" asked Sammy, lighting a cigarette from the darkness by the stone wall at the edge of the terrace. Yes, he said it in that dismissive tone. I didn't understand why he needed to talk to me like that.” TIOL, page 188
Joey himself wonders whether the detective’s behavior is a result of him correctly predicting Joey’s… preferences.
“Fascinating. Detective Sinclair's tone was very different here. He was less curt talking to her, there was a softness almost in his speech. It occurred to me that he was attempting to reflect what he saw in her personality to make her more comfortable. Trying to give her what she wanted without her knowing she wanted anything. It made me wonder what trick he'd used with me. I didn't like the idea, but it was a very interesting one.” TIOL, page 188
So the text confirms that Joey has a type, and that type seems to be men, who refuse to give him the attention he craves (and smoke cigarettes, apparently. Resisting the urge to make a joke about phallic symbolism).
And boy, does Joey crave Sinclair’s attention!
You see, even though solving the case was not at all interesting to Joey, there was something else, which was of great importance to him: making sure that Sinclair finds him physically attractive.
“He was memorizing it, adding it to the appendix of his story. I was determined not to be some small character who might not even rate a name. I wasn't going to be a description only, "Tall, lean, handsome young man" or the like.” TIOL, page 100
“He wore his large overcoat and hat like always, his five o'clock shadow too, which made me all the more annoyed that I'd cared to look presentable. Not that I wouldn't have dressed appropriately—such things matter—I just resented I had cared as much as I had about the detective's particular opinion. I got in next to him with-out any conversation. Without really any sign he noticed me at all. He just stared forward as the car drove off, and I was so grumpy from the train ride I was happy to sit in silence.” TIOL, page 129
When senpai doesn’t notice you :(
“I assumed that Detective Sinclair had opinions on everyone, and probably bad opinions. Just like he thought I couldn't look presentable when I most certainly could.” TIOL, page 130
Note that at no point in the story does Sinclair give any indication of his opinion about Joey’s appearance. This is happening entirely inside Joey’s own mind.
In addition to his looks, Joey is also deeply concerned about not appearing childish and weak in front of the detective:
“My eyes were watering now It looked like I was crying and I felt humiliated at the thought.” TIOL, page 122
“I felt even more annoyed now, and rightfully so. Detective Sinclair had said I could come along on his investigations, obviously it had been a lie. It felt very much like he didn't want me there for any of the one-on-ones, like I'd spoil it or something. Quite frankly, I didn’t enjoy being treated like a child this way.
“You can take a seat, Joey," said Detective Sinclair. I rolled my eyes inwardly; nope, did not enjoy being treated like a child at all. "Sit next to me, love," said Mrs. Pepper, enthusiastically petting the spot beside her. I smiled because she was being kind and I did as she requested.” TIOL, page 133
Once again we see a stark contrast in how he reacts to a man offering him a seat vs a woman doing the same. He wants Sinclair to treat him as an equal, an adult, a “real man”, and he doesn’t much care about the opinion of Mrs. Pepper.
And then this happens:
"Detective Sinclair, thank you for your time, (...)You should leave, no one needs you anymore!” Detective Sinclair didn't say anything back. That was when I finally saw the man behind the character. A weak man who needed validation just like the rest of them. (...) I felt uncomfortable, a little disgusted even. Here was a man I'd admired despite it all, and here he was at the end, with nothing. I saw it now, the other illusion: the role of detective he was wearing, indifferent, cold, emotionless. None of it was true. (...)I knew he wanted me to go with him, but I didn't. His part in my story was done now.” TIOL, page 144
I think this moment speaks more about Joey’s character than it does about Sinclair’s. After spending dozens of pages seeking validation and approval from this man, Joey instantly discards him the moment he realizes that Sinclair isn’t actually the living embodiment of this idealized image of a “Real Man” that he has internalized in his formative years.
Perhaps the thing that initially drove him to Sinclair (and later to Sammy) was the qualities he saw in them, that he wishes he could possess himself. Perhaps he has convinced himself that if he could get these men to recognize him as an equal, a fellow “god”, his “illusion” would finally be complete and he could truly live up to the standards set by the society he was raised in.
#Bendy and the Ink Machine#batim#bendy: the illusion of living#detective adam sinclair#sammy lawrence#joey drew#nathan arch#dreamfisher certified
131 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
witheredbouquet
relinquish your pain unto me
t4t-trobed-fics
t4t_trobed on ao3
samldh1
Samldh1
gifconnoisseur
GIF Connoisseur
paodequeijo-ana
_Tudo _