Only Friends | EP12 Behind the Scenes: 'It's a wrap'

Okay so you’re telling me that Boston apologized for the video he took of Ray and Mew but like. No one is gonna apologize to him for passing around two of his non-consensual sex tapes???

my favourite unhinged besties 😍

JENNIE???!!!?!!?? MA'AM.

I said these two will be besties and I stay by it.

Look at them. They love each other I don’t care.

Now, you two, put your asses together and go to a fucking New York to join a fucking countdown.

You’re gonna travel all around the world anyway.

Always love your takes and thoughts about Ray’s addiction and how they’ve handled it. This isn’t really so much as about the show and their handle of it but certain things I see in the fandom and I’d like to hear your thoughts: for some reason I’ve seen people go “Sand he’s drinking because of you it’s your fault” towards Sand one too many times (like in the pool) and I’ve never been so frustrated with reading something. Not only is saying something like that detrimental to someone trying to recover (for many reasons like putting the blame on someone else instead of the addict themselves) but also putting all the responsibility on someone else for “keeping someone sober” and if they upset them it’s their fault is just as detrimental. For their relationship and just in general for both of the the people involved (in this case Ray and Sand).

Hi, anon, thank you for enjoying my thoughts.

I didn’t see those comments and thanks god, I’m so sorry you have to read it. This is just people being uneducated and ignorant and guilt tripping someone - in this case fictional character, but in the situation that very common in real life.

I agree with you, and I want to say that this is very, very dangerous type of commenting. There is a huge difference between supporting someone with addiction in their recovering process and taking responsibility for that.

And I really appreciate how show handles it - with Ray saying himself that this is his journey, and his problem do deal with, and while Sand is there for him to help and support - which is a huge thing - this is ultimately Ray who makes a decision.

Blaming someone like that is just wrong for both parties.

For Sand, or someone in “supporter” role is denying his right for making mistakes, and overall to have feelings. Live your life constantly being afraid that you can cause an addict to relapse is not healthy. You can lose yourself in a process and became a shell of a human you were and it’s not gonna help anyone.

But it’s also unfair to Ray, or any person with addition. It’s a reduction his whole personality to this one thing - this is a very common mistake with people with addiction or mental health problems. You can’t put him in a box where the life is perfect and nothing bad ever happens - and even if you could it’s not going anywhere.

Ray is right, triggers will be everywhere around him. And sad events will happen in his life, and his relationships - including Sand. Recovering from addiction is not about removing all stress factors, is about learning to deal with them in a more healthy way. And I would say Ray does a pretty good job there, because after that one sip he handles the whole stressful situation being completely sober.

He is only at the start of his rehab. And there is and always will be a risk of relapse. This is a long journey. But Ray is the whole person, he’s way more than his addiction. Sand is his whole person, he’s way more than someone who loves a person with addiction. He dumped his job at the bar, and it’s fine because he didn’t really like that one. But he’s gonna have liquor making business, and it’s also fine, because if Ray wants he’ll find a way to drink with Sand’s liquor or without that.

But Sand never behaved in some particular way only for not upsetting Ray - and this is a good thing for both of them. I wish people to understand that.

That’s my very unnecessary long way to say that I agree with you. Don’t read those comments, people are ignorant and that’s their problem. Thank you for giving me a chance to talk about one of my favorite topics in this show, I appreciate that.

Only Friends Episode 12 | No one messes with Ray's man

I plan to go into a deeper post on this, but I really like how Ray went into protective mode over Sand here. When Ray had doubts about whether Sand may be tempted to get back with Boeing, he prompts Sand to make that decision for himself. Whereas once he finds out that Boeing never genuinely cared about Sand in the first place and his attempts to 'rekindle' were purely a game, Ray was having none of that, and quickly declares he'll be taking matters into his own hands. Knowing that Boeing hurt Sand once, he's not going to allow him to do it again. Not on his watch.

It shouldn't be taken lightly that Sand allows Ray to fight his battle for him here. Sand, who is usually so stubborn on trying to handle things on his own. He gave Ray full permission to exert his boyfriend card, whilst he stood back and looked so goddamn proud.

I also just really enjoy Mew being the captain of the Ray/Sand ship. He was all for them from day one, and he genuinely wants to see his best friend happy. So in no way was he going to let Boeing mess this up for the both of them. Seeing them band together to give him what he deserved was so satisfying.

Always love your takes and thoughts about Ray’s addiction and how they’ve handled it. This isn’t really so much as about the show and their handle of it but certain things I see in the fandom and I’d like to hear your thoughts: for some reason I’ve seen people go “Sand he’s drinking because of you it’s your fault” towards Sand one too many times (like in the pool) and I’ve never been so frustrated with reading something. Not only is saying something like that detrimental to someone trying to recover (for many reasons like putting the blame on someone else instead of the addict themselves) but also putting all the responsibility on someone else for “keeping someone sober” and if they upset them it’s their fault is just as detrimental. For their relationship and just in general for both of the the people involved (in this case Ray and Sand).

Hi, anon, thank you for enjoying my thoughts.

I didn’t see those comments and thanks god, I’m so sorry you have to read it. This is just people being uneducated and ignorant and guilt tripping someone - in this case fictional character, but in the situation that very common in real life.

I agree with you, and I want to say that this is very, very dangerous type of commenting. There is a huge difference between supporting someone with addiction in their recovering process and taking responsibility for that.

And I really appreciate how show handles it - with Ray saying himself that this is his journey, and his problem do deal with, and while Sand is there for him to help and support - which is a huge thing - this is ultimately Ray who makes a decision.

Blaming someone like that is just wrong for both parties.

For Sand, or someone in “supporter” role is denying his right for making mistakes, and overall to have feelings. Live your life constantly being afraid that you can cause an addict to relapse is not healthy. You can lose yourself in a process and became a shell of a human you were and it’s not gonna help anyone.

But it’s also unfair to Ray, or any person with addition. It’s a reduction his whole personality to this one thing - this is a very common mistake with people with addiction or mental health problems. You can’t put him in a box where the life is perfect and nothing bad ever happens - and even if you could it’s not going anywhere.

Ray is right, triggers will be everywhere around him. And sad events will happen in his life, and his relationships - including Sand. Recovering from addiction is not about removing all stress factors, is about learning to deal with them in a more healthy way. And I would say Ray does a pretty good job there, because after that one sip he handles the whole stressful situation being completely sober.

He is only at the start of his rehab. And there is and always will be a risk of relapse. This is a long journey. But Ray is the whole person, he’s way more than his addiction. Sand is his whole person, he’s way more than someone who loves a person with addiction. He dumped his job at the bar, and it’s fine because he didn’t really like that one. But he’s gonna have liquor making business, and it’s also fine, because if Ray wants he’ll find a way to drink with Sand’s liquor or without that.

But Sand never behaved in some particular way only for not upsetting Ray - and this is a good thing for both of them. I wish people to understand that.

That’s my very unnecessary long way to say that I agree with you. Don’t read those comments, people are ignorant and that’s their problem. Thank you for giving me a chance to talk about one of my favorite topics in this show, I appreciate that.

Was gonna gather my thoughts and write a post tmr on the general mood in the ofts space after the finale bc I feel like a whole bunch of people overthink the amount of editing that was supposedly the result of "promo couple fans complaining too much" but I literally cannot sleep before I get this off my chest so here goes nothing:

Do you guys not understand how tv show productions work....

The script was written, reworked, and then finalized before they even began filming. Yes they might have changed some stuff between the initial scrips draft they had before the mock trailer and the true beginning of production this year but considering that they booked two at the time new but well received promo couples (remember that this show was already in planning at a time when Enchené and The Eclipse were still very very fresh), TopMew and SandRay were always gonna be endgame. It's especially obvious now that the full series is out bc if you go back and watch the mock trailer, all the same storybeats are there. This is how the story was supposed to go from the beginning. They most likely cast two promo couples on purpose because of the added bonus of pre-established compatibility and chemistry needed for endgame couples in such a messy series.

Then they filmed stuff. They finished filming I believe the day that episode 3 aired, so they could not have changed any of the ending based on audience reactions (as I have seen multiple people suggest), since we were barely a few epiaodes into the story. The book based on the series was also already finished and in the last stages of preparing to be released. The only thing they actually did was edit out parts of scenes or full scenes that they found did not add anything at this point in the story (like the sandray garage scene) or would actively harm what we, the audience, are supposed to be understanding and feeling right now (like the Mew smashing shit scene and Top attempting to sleep with someone else, which both were explained to have been cut because audiences were reacting strongly negative to Top even a few episodes into his redemption arc, when we were clearly supposed to start being on his side). They might also have moved some scenes around to aid the story flow but I am unsure of that one (I suspect the scene where Ray and Mew finally solve their shit out was supposed to be directly before the SandRay donut scene bc of obvious clothing reasons, bc they either fucked up hardcore with clothing continuity or moved the first SandRay rehab discussion to after the RayMew talk because it made more sense that way when seeing it played out on screen. If that was the case I am glad for it bc it would have felt a bit weird the other way around idk...).

All of this is however not new. It happens all the time in film and broadcasting production (also in book publishing....this is why editors and alpha/beta readers exist. I mean Brandon Sanderson's books famously go through four (?) stages of feedback before they get published...). Some scenes just get dropped in editing because when you see it on screen it feels redundant or not quite right, so it gets taken out before it changes what they want the audience to take away from other scenes. Movies and tv shows that have months between filming and airing dates usually solve this issue with test screening audiences and several runs of editing. There have been instances of Movies having test screenings at cinemas and then having their release date scrapped because they have to be re-edited completely as a result of unexpected audience feedback. GmmTV series being on smaller budgets and timeframes results in this time window falling away and relying on observing audience reactions to already aired episodes closely and then editing the next episode close to its release is one strategy to still ensure that you bring across what you wanted to (Kdramas also do this very frequently). It might not be ideal but it's not unusual and it certainly does not mean that anything substantial from the story was changed. All the storybeats as well as the character and relationship development remained the same because they already had everything filmed. They did not do reshoots or we'd know it. The story was planned this way. It was in the script. If you did not like it, then you did not like it. But don't accuse the directors of "bending to the will of fans" bc that's just plain wrong.

I too have my issues with some of the writing and some of the characterizations. But let's keep the criticism where it is actually deserved ok?

Edit: I have also seen quite a few people over here and also on Twitter say how disappointed they are in the "editing based on audience reaction" and that they should release a "directors cut" with all the scenes but like....this IS the directors cut. THEY decided how to edit this because the original intent is not always what arrives in the brains of the audience. Storytelling is a two-way street and if a massive chunk of your audience interprets a part of your story so differently to how you intended it to be understood, edits are necessary. Because that means that your intent is not communicated well enough.

now that only friends has finished airing, i'm redoing my best completed jojo tichakorn series poll with ofts as an option. let's see how much that changes the results 👀

Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 12

And that's all she wrote friends! And how she wrote it was...weird? The show definitely pulled some punches at the end there, trying to thread a needle and ending instead in a kind of wishy-washy damp squib. The couples landed up right, but in the wrong way? Guu mai chorp. But these hoes still need their final sorting. Nick led the pack going into the finale, will he end up on top at the end? Only the mains this week in my final rankings, but first...

⭐A1. FUCKIN' MIX!

Then…can I be your friend too?

I'm sorry I can't hear y'all over my screams at the MESS Minx Mix looks set to cause. That man is too pretty to be allowed in public. I WANT IT JOJO, I WANT IT NOW!

🔻🔻🔻Z∞. Boeing (8)

I just happen to want something strong tonight.

In the end, Boeing is just a lonelyboy like all the rest of them, which is fine, but he also just...disappears after the Ray/Mew Voltron vanquishes him and he gets a consolation makeout from Boston, which is not. Anyway, Mond is a good actor, also he's hot and got to kiss a bunch of boys, so winning.

Top tier show sidepieces: Yo, Plug, Summer, Freddie Mercury 2, Sand's Mom, Ray's Dad, Daddy Dan, April, Mew's Moms (barely)

These characters were mostly on the side of the angels, and I thank them for their service.

Bottom bitches: Cheum, Atom, Gap

Yeah they apologised, but fuck em.

Onto our main six!

🔺1. Boston (2)

I'm friendless.

In the end, Boston's at the top of my mains pile, because MY MANS DESERVED BETTER. Not in terms of Nick, I think that actually ended the absolute best way: Boston made his case, Nick made his decision, and they parted more or less as friends (and I loved absolutely every conversation those two had in this episode). No I mean in terms of his shitty friends, especially MEW. Cheum at least apologised, even if perfunctorily, and he apologised for sleeping with Atom (yeah, he really shouldn't have done that). He and Ray let the water wash under their particular bridge, and seem set to be cool. They never really had much in the way of beef to be fair. But Mew...actually you know what, good. Some people you don't need to be friends with, especially people who are gonna judge you and try to make you feel shitty about yourself. The narrative leaves Boston literally alone at the end though, legit the last time we see him is sitting on the curb with tears in his eyes as Nick walks away. Thanks, I hate it. I hope New York is better to Boston, and I hope he continues to learn and grow and tackle those impulse control problems.

🔻2. Nick (1)

You should go back to living a fun and sassy life that you prefer instead of trying to please a daydreaming guy like me.

YOU COULD HAVE ACCEPTED THE GODDAMN PHOTO NICKYBOY. I mean I get why not, but justice for my mans. Anyway, Nick's legit my second fave main here, as he grapples with the in-your-face realities of Boston's separation of love and sex, and decides he can't handle it. And that's good, that he loves Boston enough not to judge him, and loves himself enough not to put himself through something he knows he doesn't want. Every single choice and every conversation these two have had since Nick apologised has been nothing less than stellar, and that's because Nick took accountability and chose honesty. Well done baby boy.

🔺3. Sand (5)

You're right. When I love someone, I become a dog. But at least my owner loves me.

Pathetic to the very end, consistency thy name is Sand. He could have at least thrown his bussy into that threesome, but nooooooo, he got jealous IN TWO DIRECTIONS AT ONCE 🤣. He's fine with both boys slangin the dick his way, but calls a halt when they leave him out? Sir that's when you stand back and admire. Sand's pick-me ass ain't never gonna be my absolute fave, but his self-awareness and humiliation kink work together to be kind of endearing in a guileless sort of way, and at least he's learned to take the money if he's going to accept the ownership. It's sweet in a weird kink way. Also, his and Nick's loser friendship pushes him several points higher up the scale. There's growth and acceptance there, and he's 21 so I'll let him have it.

🔺4. Ray (7)

You still love him so I dragged him here for you. But I wanted to join just a little.

Well when he's not drunk night and day Ray's still a rich asshole, but he's a ton more fun. I love that he knows the kids at community service don't like him🤣. I spot rehab therapy working on him a bit. That threesome set up was WILD, and I personally had a good time with it, but it's probably best that it led to talking rather than fucking. Ray's got a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way to go, but at least he treats Boston like a human being (I AM SO BITTER AND I'M NOT GETTING OVER IT). He's never gonna clock Mew's shittiness (BITTERNESS ACCELERATING) but you win some, you lose some. By the way sir, don't listen to Sand, he absolutely will be your sugar baby if you beg a little.

🔻5. Top (4)

Because I have you, everything is fine.

Top's smugness was the single most genuine thing about him, so I actually quite enjoyed watching him be a smug motherfucker this ep as he gets everything he thinks he wants. You know what I enjoyed more though? Watching his soul leave his body when Minx!Mix walked into the hostel and laser-targeted Mew. Mew putting Top through hell is legit my favourite flavour of their weird little fucked up relationship, and I'm sorry I won't get to see Mew eventually fall for Mix (you KNOW he wants to top somebody, YOU KNOW IT) and Top cry about it while he screws a bellboy in a service closet.

🔹6. Mew (6)

Are you about to say "But you're my last, Mew"? If so, I'm going to go puke in the bathroom.

OK, that line was funny, but jeez what a prig. What a sanctimonious nag. What a judgy little hypocrite. In his own conception he 'won' but Mew's the biggest loser in my heart. No he didn't have to forgive Boston, but come on, he could've kept it cute OR kept it moving full speed instead of the fake nicey nicey only to stick the knife in after. It's good that he walks away from Boston in the end, because with friends like Mew you don't need enemies. He makes Ray worse. And he and Cheum form the feedback loop from hell. Bookie sold the fuck out of this character, I have nothing but praise for him, but Mew is the living worst. I won't mention the character he reminds me most of in all of fiction, but if you're a certain age and you think about it a little, you can probably guess.

Only Friends Episode 12 | The Sand/Top Kiss: Revenge tastes sweet

I knew straight away that Mew was going to ask them to 'kiss and make-up'. Top looked so goddamn terrified the entire time, I was laughing so hard.

I, for one, will forever be grateful to Only Friends for giving us Boston.

Because to take a character the narrative has condemned and make him not only the most loved but also the most sympathetic character while also being the messier and having his own deep struggles is a thing of beauty and talent.

But I especially want to highlight a few things about Boston. Because these are all the ways I came to love him.

He's a born this way gay man who is never shown to question or doubt his sexuality.

2. He is openly promiscuous and not only enjoys sex but enjoys having sex with multiple people. (He's an asshole and his moral code is his own but he sticks to it.)

3. He owns his own filth within said moral code.

4. He is the first person to say you can't turn someone gay.

5. He thinks he knows how to throw a punch but really doesn't tend to despite his own words.

6. Openly distinguishes between sex and romantic love

7. Is the only one of his friends capable of a sincere apology when he was wrong and wronged them and will go out of his way to make a sincere one with them even if they don't deserve it and would never admit to owing him one at all.

In fact, he does it twice.

8. He knows when not to apologize.

And, most importantly of all... he can be a petty bitch.

We stan him and we apologize for him and we love him for all of it.

Boston, the king of the sluts, the character who was condemned by the narrative for his ways but that the fanbase will forever love because he was something so unusual in BL that it made him beautiful.

ONLY FRIENDS (2023)

episode 1 // episode 12

I don't have my thoughts about the finale entirely in order, but I do want to say this:

At first, I was annoyed that Sand wasn't the one to put Boeing in his place. I wanted him to be more assertive and to brain Boeing with his guitar.

But the more I thought about it, the more I liked the way the show did it better. Because it's not just Sand letting Ray do what he needs to do to feel more secure.

It's Sand, who up 'til now has spent the entire run of the show handling his own feelings and his own mess by himself, willingly letting someone else in far enough to trust them to handle it for him.

And I love that for both of them.

“did the creative team expected us to like mew and hate boston”

you shoulda writing your opinions on (the gross site) twitter. it’s the only place they market research lol

lol yeah this one. I mean, I do write my opinions everywhere because I’m jobless and have no life. Not sure they want to know all my opinions tbh.

But I saw Jono said in some interview that “Mew is someone everyone can relate to” - which is, debatable, I guess a lot of people can but I personally don’t relate to him at all so maybe that’s my problem.

He also sad that something about “Bad people don’t need an explanation to be bad” about Boston so yeah, I think it was a weird one.

But I didn’t see the whole interview and there was translations so who knows what was that about. Honestly speaking, I have a right to have my own vision and it can be different even from director’s one so I’m fine they’re fine everything is fine Boston slays.

Only Friend Finale Reaction

I want to write this down now because I suspect my feelings on this will change over time. In this moment, immediately post-finale, I am satisfied. I feel happy. I am glad this show got made, and that I watched it.

Only Friends was billed as the messy gays show. I went in expecting something close to Friend Zone but with more gays, and that's what we got. Not a Warped Effect with explicit morals and lessons about sex, consent, sexualities, kinks, etc., not a GayOK Bangkok which is grounded in realism.

And because this was Jojo and Ninew and Den and Best, it's still more realistically queer than any GMMTV BL to date, and there were some absolutely stellar moments that stand alone as moving, and powerful, and beautiful, and genre-changing. And so near the beginning of the show airing, I raised my expectations; maybe this show was going to do more.

But was clear by the penultimate episode that it wasn't. I wrestled a lot on here with my need for this show to be the one that finally broke up the mixed pair expectations, and let sluts be sluts, and finally showed a threesome, and maybe even gave us consensual non-monogamy. It didn't go that far in any of those realms, but it took a step closer on many of them, and considering where BL has been to date that's still pretty huge for GMMTV, and I don't want to lose sight of that or judge it for what I wanted it to be instead of what it ultimately was.

The other thing I wrestled with a lot in this show was what other people were seeing in it, and my frustration that people were taking away moral lessons that the show wasn't giving. I think I was successful in that I watched this finale with satisfaction for what I was getting, even though I know a lot of people won't see what I saw (and btw I'm not even claiming that what I saw was what the creators intended! I am not claiming superiority here, just bias lol). So I watched this finale deciding to take what I wanted from it, rather than what I thought it was actually trying to say, and for that reason I enjoyed the hell out of it.

So. Here are my takeaways from the Only Friends finale:

We got a three-way kiss, even if it didn't lead to a threesome, after teasing us all series that was still satisfying and we got it as part of a branded pair in a GMMTV show. It was fun, and messy, and I loved it. I appreciate that it was also...maybe necessary is too far lol but it was actually in service to the plot--we all knew Sand still had feelings for Boeing, or else he would not have still been so mad at Top that he was willing to use Nick and Ray to get his revenge. Not every emotional loose end needs to be resolved with kissing, but it was kind of fun that they tried (and I also really appreciated that it didn't work lol).

I loved that Mew and Ray talking as friends got them to compare notes on and eventually team up to take down Boeing. Their friendship really is the backbone of this series, and I'm glad it survived everything. Mew is so relieved to have someone else taking care of Ray because he never wanted that role and wasn't good at it, but he does care about his friend's happiness and is more than happy to step in when there's drama. I appreciate that he made really clear to Sand that his feelings for Ray are platonic, in the bar, that's the first time I've really seen him be truly supportive of Ray, and it was nice to see.

The Mew and Top scenes were fascinating. I think this is where I'm going to differ from the bulk of the audience and I've made peace with that. I do not find stories like theirs romantic--where both partners need to be in control and play games to stay in control the whole time--so for me, the fact that these power struggles were still present in all of their scenes satisfied my desire to see them stay together, happy but on edge. So. That scene with Mew and Top in which Mew agrees to live with Top but then asks him to apologize to Sand right afterwards; I read that as pretty manipulative on Mew's part, and Top's uncomfortable face at the end means that he felt it too. Maybe I wasn't supposed to read it that way, but that's why it worked for me. The ring, too, "now or never", it's not a promise of forever, it's a promise of the present [such a strong ephemerality statement]. The conversation in the bath in which they outline their needs and identify that they have contrasting needs, and say "I'll work on it / we'll deal with it when it comes" is exactly what I was expecting of this relationship. They're not perfect for each other, and they're going to continue to push one another. Right now they're agreeing to try, without a guarantee that it will work. Talking about their needs is good, but we don't actually see them trying, so it didn't hit as romantic as it would otherwise for me either. And Mew daring Sand to kiss Top in order to get them to be chill was such a Mew power move I loved it. He asked Top to apologize to Sand, and then forced them to be in close proximity before getting confirmation that Top was ready. Top apologizing to Sand in that last second before they kissed was him clinging for power while Sand was hovering over him, and it was a perfect Top volley. Constant power struggle, that's how I read these two. Mew teasing Top with whether or not he's slept with anyone else was so interesting considering their history around that--I was probably supposed to see it as growth in their relationship that they can joke about it? Or maybe they were trying to undo some of the sexual morality nonsense that made its way into this show by pointing out that actually it doesn't matter if Mew had been with anyone before? But what I saw was Mew still struggling to have a power foothold over Top now that he's moved in. I will admit the fire scene, at first, I was so confused by. Were we supposed to be moved by Top getting past his trauma? What was that scene even about? I think, in the context of Mew's struggle with his place in Top's life, and his power in this relationship, it was about Mew understanding the invisible support he provides for Top, and why he's important to Top. Mew watched Top be competent and collected in the face of a triggering event, and was impressed at how Top had it all together, but Top credits Mew's presence for that. I think it helped Mew start to actually see a future with Top, because he understands his place in it a bit better. Even if he feels like he's not doing enough, Top sees his presence as strength, so maybe he doesn't need to worry quite so much about keeping score. But that's honestly me reaching, I struggled with that scene and think it was the weakest in the finale [and @lurkingshan I read your post and could believe that your read is true, that it was there to prove Top did have trauma].

Can I tell you how much I love how this show ended, with Mix's character smiling at Mew, and Top's nervous look? Because I think we've wrestled with Mew's confidence in this relationship for the whole show, but it's clear Top still feels unsettled/uncertain in this relationship and I love that we ended with him feeling threatened. This for me was the perfect ending for this couple, and what I've wanted as their ending all along--they're happy right now, they know there are potential bumps on the road in their future, and they're not certain they'll make it through, but they're willing to try--but the threats are real, and present, and not going to be easy because this relationship is not solid.

I also really appreciated what was happening with Boston and Nick, even though I wish it would have been more explicit or done better; what we got was still better than I expected from a GMMTV show. I loved Boston dissuading Nick from following him, and finding the romantic asks to be too many/too much, and having a different definition of "boyfriend" (but not different enough to not like to Nick's face about where you were, Boston, I see you). I love that Nick didn't get mad at Boston for "cheating", understood what Boston was offering for what it was; I also really loved Sand's advice to Nick that just because what's on offer is laid out honestly and fairly, that that means he has to accept it if it's not what he wants. I didn't love Boston trying to backtrack when Nick decided not to take him up on it; but I did love Nick's response, telling Boston to own who he is rather than trying to be someone he's not.

I think this is where my attempts the last couple of weeks to let go of what people will take from this show has helped, because yeah, you can see this as the narrative punishing Boston for being a slut, but this has never been a morality play, and so I'm taking from it how I see it. And I see it as Boston getting a clean slate with a bit more perspective going to New York. What I would say to Boston if he were my friend: This friend group was a mess and they always judged Boston for his sex life more than was deserved; they also violated his privacy by passing around his sex audio and never apologized for it. Boston also didn't take their feelings into consideration when he decided who to have sex with, and he messed with their relationships which was not being a good friend either. Does he actually want them back, or is he just feeling lonely? My hope for him is that he takes what he's learned about other people's feelings--that not everyone sees the world he does, and he has to understand that people will be hurt by different things whether or not they would hurt him, if he wants to retain relationships of any kind including friendships, and decide whether or not they're worth making concessions for before hurting them so that he doesn't lose people he doesn't want to--and finds folks who fit better with his worldview and morals, and then is better able to keep them in his life. But also these people are hypocrites, and he should not take their opinion as a statement of fact about his worth. He didn't do anything worse to them than they did to him or each other.

I know a lot of people are going to see this storyline as a punish the slut story. I was wrestling with this two episodes ago, maybe that's why I'm willing to be chill about this now. I was hoping we'd get Boston as a reason to discuss consensual non-monogamy in a GMMTV show, but I am actually ok with Nick saying listen, I need to be honest about what I want and it's not that, and Boston you shouldn't be trying to give me what I want because that's not going to make you happy either. Boston being alone isn't a sad ending; to me it's the ending he was expecting and aiming for this whole time. The only difference is he's surprised by how he feels about it now that he's in it, and he's panicking a bit. Boston was not just a slut, he was a slut who didn't care about who he hurt; it's that latter piece that he's wrestling with in this finale, and I love that Nick told him he didn't have to stop being a slut to stop being an asshole. Honestly, he'll get to New York and be fine, I really think so. And I took the Nick/Boston goodbye conversation as Nick saying "I love you as you are, a slut, and it's ok to be that. Go be a happy slut!" Do I wish he'd said that more explicitly so that people would understand that? Yes. But I've given up on that.

Cheum not going with the group to the fireworks was so interesting in the context of our conversations about Cheum over the past couple of days. I took this to be the show acknowledging explicitly that she's not actually a part of the core friend group; she schemes to keep the group together (unsuccessfully), and we don't ever get a sense of why she cares so much about that--maybe it's guilt for helping push out Boston for something he didn't do, maybe she needs the security of the group she's got, we never get that insight and I'm still a bit sad about that. But she's not there for the big fireworks finale, so we're at least clear that the show never intended her to be a Main Character. And I was so happy we got her saying her plan worked in the pool. Maybe that still won't be enough to convince the audience that she's an unreliable narrator, but it was satisfying for me! Also loved her unwrapping the photo from Boston and the group's uncomfortable reaction to it. Maybe Chuem's going to keep pushing that they reconcile; maybe she's just delusional about how well her plan worked. Either way, the tension was fun. I didn't get the full resolution of her character that I wanted, but the show nodding explicitly to the fact that she keeps herself apart from the main group so I shouldn't expect it was helpful to me getting over that. And we got a kiss! And another tiny insight into their relationship; again not enough to go on, but i did think it really interesting that the two things we know about April and Cheum are: April appreciates Cheum's positive energy, and April has asked Cheum to be more honest and not just positive for the sake of being positive (about her films). So I'm reading this as that these two are just as messy and as likely to continue to have problems as the rest of the group.

Ending in Sand and Ray because I think this is the least ambiguous; I appreciated that Sand started doing what Sand always does and saying "yeah I"ll sacrifice all of my sources of income for you no problem" (WHAT) and Ray waiting until they're alone again to say "actually that's ridiculous don't do that". I appreciated that Sand's new year plans were all about Ray because he hasn't had anything push him into actually being more selfish, and the resolution with Boeing was done for him so he didn't have to set boundaries after all (called that one), so he's had zero character growth, actually. I appreciate that Ray pushes him to try to be a little selfish, that's the best sign that Ray is finally actually caring about Sand's needs, and that their relationship might work, that I've seen the whole series. I'm taking it with a massive grain of salt, because the plan is for Ray to constantly expose himself to alcohol and partying. I think this is set up to be just as tenuous as the Mew/Top relationship, but it reads a bit more lovey-dovey because they're in a less problematic place at the moment (where they have just resolved one of their insecurities so they're more confident in one another--but it's not clear how long that will last, especially with the threat of Sand's self-sacrifice and Ray's fierce boundary-violating in the face of any threat looming in the background unresolved). Sand expressing his uncertainty around his role in the Hostel was also perfect, because he is an outsider in this project and doesn't have a role, and it's a perfect point for tension in the future between them.

Even the way Yo warns the group of friends in the very last scene that they're going to have to be better to one another and less dramatic in the future if they want this hostel to last felt ominous to me rather than preachy; have this group learned enough to make this business work? That definitely remains to be seen.

Nobody should be watching Only Friends with the idea that it's going to give them any kind of lesson about what to do; at best it's a list of what not to do's lol. None of these characters are perfect, they're all incredibly flawed, and young. So their choices, including whether or not to stay together, whether or not to stay friends, whether or not to stay in business, should not be read as a moral judgment by the showrunners. I definitely agree that this could have been more effective as a message if folks weren't happy at the end. But I've given up on it needing to be effective for everyone; they stayed in character to me, and it was effective for me.

I recognized so much of my friends and my youth in this series, and I am so grateful to have gotten to see that portrayed in a show that felt like a rollercoaster while I was watching it; I literally screamed aloud, I cheered, I laughed, I applauded. This show had characters casually snort coke, hook up, flirt with their exes, kiss their friends, make mistakes, forgive one another heinous shit, be mean, kiss outside their branded pairs, and in some cases let one another go.

There are a LOT of ways this show could have been better. It was close, so close in some cases, to being amazing, and it's fallen short in a lot of ways. It could have been a subversive and compelling narrative about slut shaming and the toxicity of fandom branded pairs. Instead, it was just a show about flawed people being flawed. But I had fun, and I'm not taking away from this show that any of these characters were in the right, or that sluts are bad, or need to change--whether it was the intended message, I've given up on that because I legitimately can't tell and if it is the message, I don't want to know. I don't think it overromanticized these flawed characters, but I can see how folks could see it that way. I'm choosing to remember that these characters have all been flawed and shown to be flawed throughout the show, and notice the ways in which they are still flawed, and the hints that things will stay messy. Maybe this is a bit like those experiments in which they found the way people in incarceration watch Die Hard very differently from how other people do or how it was intended LOL maybe I'm working too hard to justify what was just bad writing and gross moral judgments and toxic relationships being portrayed as romantic. But it didn't land that way for me, so I'm going to celebrate that and enjoy the feelings this show gave me.