I've been thinking about this one, and the rippling effect of both trauma and healing. I hope my impact on the world causes more healing than trauma.

text reads:

Dad, we've been talking about family trauma and recovery recently, and you wrote me a song about the day I was born.

And it was a beautiful song but I still feel like we're strangers, like part of you never got to know me after that day.

I had a dream that we experience healing as nonlinear because we experience time as linear, but that healing actually happens in moments that ripple outward, spreading across what we call "time" in both directions and also across everything else.

And I woke up wondering if the me that needed you when you weren't there can hear you singing this song now, and be healed back then.

(here's the song): https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=589970479155000&set=a.304268177725233

CANCEL CULTURE ISN’T REAL.

Look, if a confirmed serial abuser refuses to do even the most basic NON CARCERCAL harm reduction work (mediated conflict resolution, therapy, living amends) then by all means, yes! Kick ‘em the hell outta their hunting grounds!

JFC, we’re all totally within our rights to ask unrepentant repeat offenders who rape and assault over and over again to GTFO of our communities, no matter what Clementine Morrigan says! It doesn’t make us bad at abolition or intergenerational healing work.

Creating consequences for unapologetic violence IS NOT CANCEL CULTURE.

Posting public online warnings to others about remorseless abusers who have been run outta town for serial rape or violence IS NOT CANCEL CULTURE.

“Fighting back against cancel culture” is not a real or serious priority for leftists or libs UNLESS your focus is on winning popularity contests and building a brand.

The growing backlash against outspoken survivors across the entire political spectrum, however?

REAL AS FUCK.

Please stop carrying water for grifty white feminists and their classist, racist, rapist partners.

aaaaaaa this is horrifying

stop telling me i’m not doing things right or not doing enough, that i’m taking too much time or going too fast

i am ending a long cycle of generational trauma, i am breaking the pattern, love instead of violence, communication instead of thoughtless screaming, i am healing our scars and sewing up the open wounds, i am watering our memories so they can bloom when spring comes

if i have to carry the burden of living a life i didn’t ask for, and if i’m going to be forgotten, then just trust me and let me share love along my path

The Bounty, Star Trek Picard Season Three, and Intergenerational Healing

Cautious optimism that Trek is ahead that everyone who is willing to accept a few ground rules can appreciate .

Spoiler gap

I was rewatching Picard s3e6 The Bounty for a second time and boy were some meta elements on display and it’s so not subtle that I’m surprised I missed them the first time. Altan Soong narrates a dialogue about the hubris of transferring himself into a golem to achieve immortality instead of leaving a legacy and drops a line about how progress can’t be found in mere preservation: all the while tracing a camera pan from the New Jersey, to 1701-A, and ending on Titan. Kind of an apt visual metaphor.

In the same episode you have Geordi recognizing that his daughter has the right to agency, including the right to blaze her own path and that between his extreme protectiveness and his misperception of her choosing not to become an engineer as conflict, he was trying to cut Sidney off from doing everything he would have done in her place.

The episode also features Jack recognizing himself in Jean luc while at the same time asserting his individuality.

This all was probably all what I was primed to see because a post I had seen was rattling around in my head in which the author described in stark terms a concern that by season three being such a departure from the previous seasons and emphasizing the legacy characters, it was throwing open the doors to the more brutish sort of fan who loudly and boorishly voiced their disapproval of the characters and themes of “NuTrek” to invade spaces they had abdicated and had since been occupied by “the next generation” - a more multiracial, queer, and neurodiverse crowd.

That part may be true although my own stomping grounds are full of the same people who complained about Discovery and Picard for all the wrong reasons rolling their eyes at “memberberries” and excessive fan service. So my read on this is that the usual suspects aren’t feeling seen by season three, their vitriol and sense of having had something taken from them is too much a part of their identity now to appreciate even a Star Trek season that doesn’t take time out to remind them that progress in the real world is uneven.

As to concerns this might spark a return to a safer Trek that doesn’t make representing a spectrum of 21st century humanity in the way that 1970s Trek did for its time, I remain cautiously optimistic given the strong themes of respecting the young, not “putting them in their place” and legacy characters modeling a proper passing of the torch complete with relationship repair where needed and the acceptance that the young have to live their lives authentically to themselves, it is not for elders to live those lives for them.

“Monarchs that survived the migration passed this message down to their children. The memory of family members lost from the initial winter was woven into their genes. When does a war end? When can I say your name and have it mean only your name and not what you left behind?” — On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous (p. 12) by Ocean Vuong

Hello everyone! I am looking for participants for a study about the intergenerational effects of adoption. I would really appreciate if you could share this on any social media you have. Thanks!

#adoption #adoptionstudy #adoptees #childrenofadoptees #adopteesasparents #AdoptionResearch #intergenerational #intergenerationalresearch #intergenerationaleffects #adultadoptees #effectsofadoption #adoptionjourney

Book Review | It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn

“It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle” by Mark Wolynn is a powerful and insightful exploration of the impact of intergenerational trauma on individuals and families. The book offers a fresh perspective on how our ancestors’ experiences and traumas can shape our lives today, and provides practical tools for healing and breaking the cycle…

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Two things happened today:

My sponsee is moving back to Toronto. She has changed my life this past yr. I am very grateful to her. I also see her as a friend. I get teary saying goodbye, but its not goodbye. Doing step work with her helped me stay sober. She's also worldy, which is rare in Saskatoon, so I loved our conversation and banter, esp on film and art. She gifted me some traditional Chinese medicines since she knows that I work with indigenous medicines. It was very thoughtful. I'm going to miss her.

Second thing, my reservation was having a Christmas thing, and I didn't want to go but had to. My bio family was gonna be there and I am not on speaking terms with them. I saw them. It was awkward. My nephew took a step away from me. I was hurt because him, and my other nieces and nephews are growing up without me, and most likely do not recognize me. Anyway, later tonight, my oldest cousin msg'd me saying my nephew thought I was my youngest sister who died, and he was trying to comprehend seeing me as her, but then he did remember who I was. So my older cousin said I needed to start spending more time with her kids so I can be in their life. I replied that I'd love that.

And I'm grateful because I'm sober, and I can trust myself to be consistent, sincere and present. Also, not so damn irritable because I have a sense of inner peace lately. Everyone be struggling through the holiday but I have a subtle conviction to my healing journey so I've been fine lately and it seems like I'm able to show up for others to help em get through their own. This mostly because I understand grief and holidays and have worked through my ish.

Anyway, relations are messy and deep, but they're worth navigating through. I had to come to an acceptance that people come and go, it doesn't mean I am unworthy or unlovable, its just how it flows with people. Today was a big day. ♡

"my mother" by lea jane

Be me, unsuspecting: :)

My dad, the most stereotypical emotionally-constipated and unapologetic Asian man, after watching EEAAO: I'm sorry.

Me, suddenly afflicted with all stages of grief simultaneously:

r u capable of expressing your inner world?

Last Friday was the opening of my solo exhibition called “P.T.SS.D Generation 3.0″.

Curator: Shahar Dor

I was working on this project for almost 2 years, expressing my post trauma as a 3rd generation to the Holocaust, dealing with the qeustion of intergenerational trauma and the possibilty of breaking the chain of the Mental DNA.

The Exhibition will be open until December 10th and its in Haifa, Israel.

You are most invited.

Louise Glück, Telemachus’ Detachment

source

I also found that intergenerational trauma can be possibly born from conflicts and poverty that those brought (from WWI/II and all the random conflicts that happened in every area of the world). The lack of security, money, food made ofc kids of that generation feel unsafe, oppressed, experience violence of every kind and therefore learning about (and expecting) the worst, patriarchy, lack of freedom, and so much more. This passed to the following generation that grew up with emotional (and maybe even physical) abuse, codependency, mental illnesses of different type and coping mechanisms like alcoholism, not trusting others or anything, feeling angered and caged by life cause of the past generation didn't let them chase their dreams because of fear. All this is passing onto the next generations as well, like ours, through: seeking for validation and approval, not being sure about who we are and what we want (feeling insecure), depression, attachment and codependency issues, coping mechanism like alcoholism and drugs, eating disorders, anxiety, and so much more. Very often the past generation makes us feel unsafe and as if we were walking on thin ice, in need to please them because they haven't been pleased by life, like we have to fulfill their shattered dreams. It's a real cascade of pain.

Feels so heart-wrenching to think (as we're seeing these days) that someone somewhere will always start a war, probably not being aware of (or just not caring about) what will happen to the future generations, of how deep the pain and suffering they're causing will reach further into the people and their kids and grandkids. It's not only what is going on at the moment, on a visible plan, but what is going on inside the different people of different ages, and how they will respond, and how the future generations will absorb that. It's so sad...

what hobbies could you do with your kids?

first you need your own. start working on them long before you have kids. what hobbies do you like? what things look interesting? what things do you wish you knew how to do?

Do any of my followers identify as the eldest daughter? I’m currently pursuing my MSW and am in a research class where the final assignment of the semester requires me to conduct a 45-60min qualitative interview with someone. Would anyone be interested in being the (anonymous) subject of my interview?! It would take place over zoom sometime over the next 2-3 weeks. Feel free to comment or message if you’re interested in helping me out 🥰