Reflections on hod and yesod of chesed, for my mishpocha who are counting with me… Thank you so much for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

The Omer is counted every nightfall starting the 2nd night of Passover until the night before Shavuot (marking when we received the Torah). This yearly cycle of counting lasts 49 days and every nightfall has its own opportunity for reflection. Each of the 7 weeks has its own focus and each of the 7 days within each week has its own focus within that focus. During Sefirat Ha'Omer, we are invited on a mystical journey, a journey that spirals us deeper and deeper into discovering what exists within our psyches and souls…

text reads:

Today's focus is hod within chesed, and tonight begins the focus of yesod within chesed. 

Ever since I was little I loved to wake before the sunrise and witness the details of the morning.

Hod brings up ideas of splendor and celebration in those sorts of simple moments.

Yesod can be translated as foundation, and is also linked to ideas of sexual energy and unification.

Yesod is a connection on a deeper level than what we can physically see.

The movement between these two ideas within the week of chesed makes me take notice of the quiet foundation that holds the infinite splendor in every moment, combining the colors of the morning as the sun rises to paint the new day with them.

And noticing the divinity of creation in each subtle moment of connection with anyone, I remember that even a glance with a stranger can be a moment of love that transcends both of us.

Netzach of chesed, for my mishpocha who are counting with me… Thank you so much for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

The Omer is counted every nightfall starting the 2nd night of Passover until the night before Shavuot (marking when we received the Torah). This yearly cycle of counting lasts 49 days and every nightfall has its own opportunity for reflection. Each of the 7 weeks has its own focus and each of the 7 days within each week has its own focus within that focus. During Sefirat Ha'Omer, we are invited on a mystical journey, a journey that spirals us deeper and deeper into discovering what exists within our psyches and souls…

text reads:

Tonight we begin the focus of netzach in chesed. Endurance within love.

Love itself isn't the glue that holds relationships together over time. I make the joke that I'm extremely committed because I'm extremely stubborn, but that's not really it either.

You'll hear over & over that relationships require communication and compromise in order to endure... But that's also not the full story.

We want to be able to know the secret script necessary to hold on to love even during the most challenging times. But perhaps the glue that holds us together is the same substance of our souls... Something immeasurable and mysterious, A gift we trust each other enough to keep unwrapping, and an instrument we love enough to keep fine tuning and trying to perfect the melodies of our hearts with anew each day.

Tiferet in chesed, for my mishpocha who are counting with me... Thank you so much for supporting my work!

patreon.com/kimchicuddles

text reads:

The Omer is counted every nightfall starting the 2nd night of Passover until the night before Shavuot (marking when we received the Torah). This yearly cycle of counting lasts 49 days and every nightfall has its own opportunity for reflection. 

Each of the 7 weeks has its own focus and each of the 7 days within each week has its own focus within that focus. 

During Sefirat Ha'Omer, we are invited on a mystical journey, a journey that spirals us deeper and deeper into discovering what exists within our psyches and souls...

Tonight's focus is tiferet within chesed. Beautiful harmony within lovingkindness.

So far we have explored the abundant love in chesed and the discerning strength in gevurah. The balanced complexity that results from this blending starts to emerge in a harmonious ecosystem. Tiferet can be translated as beauty, like the beauty of a garden growing in abundance from the order that is given through careful cultivation. But it is also related to compassion, like an attentive gardener knowing when to give more or less water.

When I am strong in my boundaries and abundant in my love, what is the beauty that can grow within the garden of my own life? In what ways does compassion come more easily when there is harmony within my own spiritual ecosystem? It is a delicate balance, so in what ways do I take care of my garden and know when and how to pull the weeds?

Gevurah in chesed. For my mishpocha who are counting with me! Thank you for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

text reads:

The Omer is counted every nightfall starting the 2nd night of Passover until the night before Shavuot (marking when we received the Torah). This yearly cycle of counting lasts 49 days and every nightfall has its own opportunity for reflection. 

Each of the 7 weeks has its own focus and each of the 7 days within each week has its own focus within that focus. 

During Sefirat Ha'Omer, we are invited on a mystical journey, a journey that spirals us deeper and deeper into discovering what exists within our psyches and souls...

Tonight's focus is gevurah within chesed. Strength and discipline within lovingkindness.

What happens when our infinite flow of love doesn't have a clear container of discernment in how we embrace and direct that flow? Even though love itself is infinite, sometimes my capacity to love feels depleted when I do not practice boundaries that nourish my heart.

Gevurah could be thought of as the strict confines of a womb, nourishing life and love to grow into its full potential by having a clear place for it to grow.

For my mishpocha who are counting. I wanted to share this with you this year, as we wander the desert back to the place that our souls first met and have always been.

Thank you for supporting my work!

patreon.com/kimchicuddles

text reads:

The Omer is counted every nightfall starting the 2nd night of Passover until the night before Shavuot (marking when we received the Torah). This yearly cycle of counting lasts 49 days and every nightfall has its own opportunity for reflection. 

Each of the 7 weeks has its own focus and each of the 7 days within each week has its own focus within that focus. 

During Sefirat Ha'Omer, we are invited on a mystical journey, a journey that spirals us deeper and deeper into discovering what exists within our psyches and souls...

Tonight's focus is chesed within chesed. Lovingkindness within lovingkindness.

Chesed is a word without direct English equivalent but is often translated as lovingkindness, and is connected to ideas of an unconditional constant flow of the vibrant spark of creation itself.

In what ways do I block that flow and withhold the fullness in my heart? 

When do I feel most connected and attuned to the abundance of love within me?

For my mishpocha who are also counting... Thank you so much for supporting my work!

Patreon.com/kimchicuddles

For everyone holding grief from tragedy.  Thank you so much for supporting my work!

Patreon.com/kimchicuddles

text reads:

When tragedy falls, some pieces of us might never come home again. But we can hold the spaces where they used to live. And perhaps if I nurture the spaceS that hold love for what was here Something beautiful and new will grow within us all.

Grateful to everyone who has reminded me of the way home.

And thank you so much for supporting my work!

Patreon.com/kimchicuddles

Throwback Thursday!

Thank you so much for supporting my work!

Patreon.com/kimchicuddles [Image Description: Panel 1: "Sometimes I struggle with thinking I should feel a different way."(image of shouting at feelings monster: "Get lost, sadness!". Feelings monster in chest: "NO!!") Panel 2: "But beating myself up about it doesn't feel better either..." (image of person shouting "I said get lost!!". Feelings monster: "NOOOO!!!") Panel 3: "until I start being gentle with the part of me that's struggling with being gentle" (image of same person holding tiny version of themselves inside their chest, that is also holding feelings monster. Person says "you mad about being sad? That's OK". Tiny self says "Rawr". Feelings monster looks more calm, says "rawr").]

Ironically, I forgot that I made this one. But it's one of my favorites!

Thank you so much for supporting my work! I love you 

PATREON! patreon.com/kimchicuddles COMMISSIONS! TikvaWolf.com/services TIPS!! venmo.com/tikvawolf

Healing and wholeness. Thank you so much for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

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People respond to trauma in so many different ways, and the ones I don't recognize from my own experience sometimes confuse me.

People heal from trauma in so many different ways. 

The things that helped me were sometimes so far from my initial strategies for healing that they confused me too...

And made me notice that some of the things I thought were keeping me safe 

were actually keeping me walled away from my own wholeness.

There are a lot more people who would rather play house than build foundations.

And I never thought I was one of them.

But letting you love me has shown me how alone I'd been keeping myself in the company of others.

HAPPY PI DAY!!!!!1 Here are 2 slices from the past. May all your love be sweet and irrational 😁

Thank you so much for supporting my work! PATREON patreon.com/kimchicuddles

For every "old soul". May you find safety, happiness, and wholeness. Thank you so much for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles

text reads:

Maybe you missed out on having a childhood because of trauma. They called you an "old soul". They said you were mature for your age.

You always had difficulty with connecting to your peers, or even feeling like you HAD peers.

But if you missed out on it then, it's OK to learn how to play now. It's safe now.

Draw or dance for fun. Just for you, without trying to make it "look good" for invisible critics.

Do whatever makes you truly happy without guilting yourself over it. You deserve happiness.

I've been thinking about this one, and the rippling effect of both trauma and healing. I hope my impact on the world causes more healing than trauma.

text reads:

Dad, we've been talking about family trauma and recovery recently, and you wrote me a song about the day I was born.

And it was a beautiful song but I still feel like we're strangers, like part of you never got to know me after that day.

I had a dream that we experience healing as nonlinear because we experience time as linear, but that healing actually happens in moments that ripple outward, spreading across what we call "time" in both directions and also across everything else.

And I woke up wondering if the me that needed you when you weren't there can hear you singing this song now, and be healed back then.

(here's the song): https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=589970479155000&set=a.304268177725233

tikvawolf.com

text reads:

It can be incredibly difficult to disentangle from addictive behaviors that are HARMING YOU when those are the qualities you get praised for. "You're so much fun! The life of the party!" "You never take days off! Such an ideal worker!" When I'm feeling down and alone, it's so tempting to pick those behaviors back up again because it feels like the world only values me when I'm using them to burn myself up. But we are not resources to be consumed for their value. We are not the candle that is burning, nor the light of the fire. We are the spark before the flame. What will we bring?

Thank so much you for supporting my work! patreon.com/kimchicuddles text reads:

How many times has my heart seen itself reflected in a shiny surface and mistaken the interaction as LOVE?

When all my heart needed was a warm, safe container to be held and encouraged to grow roots in.

broken vessels, shards of light

TikvaWolf.com

I come from a long line of people who have held too much death

for one person in one lifetime.

And they figured out how to be the vessel for that grief without cracking...

Or maybe they didn't.

Perhaps I am the descendent of many broken shards trying to put themselves back together.

May the source of strength that guided them help me find the courage to keep trying 

to transform this darkness into light.