“They’ve lived on in you. If you survived, they’ve survived.”

“In nature, nothing exists alone.”

—3 Body Problem

Source: JEFF BROWN | Facebook

On Generational Trauma: Forging a New Legacy

I hold agony that doesn't feel like my own. A part of me feels if I could solve this mystery, I'd find a lasting sense of peace. It's a longing that leads me to explore generational trauma - a hurt that transcends time, leaving a quiet, yet painful scar.

Learn how generational trauma is passed down and discover the path to breaking the cycle, forging a legacy of resilience. I share a piece of my family’s story with you to demonstrate a tale of resilience and healing that transcends time and generations. An Eternal Pain We had another death in the family recently. It wasn’t the first tragic death, and it won’t be the last in my bloodline. My…

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Messages from The Dark Goddesses and Demi Gods🩸🖤

Just channeled a reading from Hecate, Lilith, The Morrigan and Medusa. After a few dreams I've had...and damn.

Ya'll need to wake up. Especially those who are still sold into the church and all that dogma. Things are about to come to a head, a cycle that they are trying to stop or change is coming.

The past is being revealed this year. Either in March or May, a secret that was found out in January, and is going to be revealed possibly by a sister and brother that an older couple did (we all know what hiarchey's do in the church...) they are either Air or Fire signs.

I got that the siblings are 18-19 now and this could have happened when they were 15 but it's also happening to children we know that. One or both of them are tall, with long possibly pastel hair (pink or orange)

This couple in their 50's are trying to run (could also be a group as well) but they about to be exposed. It's happening all over the world!

But the younger generation are the one's that are awakened. Also fellow Starseeds, your up.

Karma is on their ass and their time is up.

All through this winter storm I've been hearing trees crack and fall from the weight of the ice. It's to the point to where I can almost time when it's going to happen. Yesterday I went on a dog walk, heard a crack, knew I needed to leave and then a tree branch fell not long after. That new skill has been the only upside to the winter storm.

I was thinking about that earlier today and the second I consciously realized I could do that I just started bawling. My family used to be loggers until a teenaged uncle passed when a tree fell on him. This uncle is the one of the only two maternal ancestors that works with me/ watches over me.

He had no clue. He was here and then he wasn't.

I don't think those tears were mine.

Why would I settle for less when I know my worth?

What makes you think I’d find joy in dividing sons and daughters of the mother continent?

When those who were comfortable with selling out were compensated by the colonizers, what do you think happened to those who refused? Now why would I want to erase all the wrongs my people were subjected to because they refused to denounce the ancient ways of the ancestors, for a mere fee that is nothing compared to the blessings we were born with but have been conditioned into not believing in those who passed down their gifts to us?

Why must I advocate for the advancement of a system that was designed to erase all that makes me who I am as a daughter of the mother continent? If I were to do so I would be ashamed!

✨When given the platform to spread light and enlighten those who are unaware, approach that podium with compassion and allow the wisdom of those who walk with you to guide you, be careful and avoid agreeing to any shady dealings which promote the distortion and ridiculing of your spirituality as an African people.

started reading "It didn't start with you" by Mark Wolynn, today, excited to learn what the author has to share 💗

Healing Collective Trauma and Restoring Our Connectedness | With Kosha J...

reincarnation

I always believed in reincarnation before I even really knew what it meant. At age 7, as a form of punishment from a babysitter sick of dealing with a bunch of nasty kids, she sent us all to “Vacation Bible Camp” which was literally like Bible School at the local Church and church related activities all week as some sort of an attempt to teach us to stop being so mean to each other. My sister was getting bullied by other kids there, and it was the Christian Missionary babysitter’s way of staging an intervention of sorts in the only way she knew how. I was raised without religion other than my grandparents giving me a kids version of the bible, my parents attempting to drag me to church on Christmas once so I could see how other folks celebrated, and then this vacation bible camp. At the end of the week we were told to “go into the chapel and pray to god” and silly little me—— I was like “hey God, when I die, I wanna be reincarnated as a cat in my next lifetime!” Because I LOVED cats and one of my favourite things to do was going over to my friend’s family farm and spending time with the countless barn cats and their kittens. even before I even knew what would entail, like the fact that I would have to karmically fuck up perhaps to have a lower birth order in my soul’s next lifetime? Or would that mean that cats are the gods the Egytians worshipped them as? And that they should be treated as such by society? Hmm interesting way of looking at it two ways? I tell my cat that he is my Angel all the time?

anyways back on topic to the two photos. The first photo on the left is Al Hubbard, and the second photo on the right is Lahiri Mahasaya. Al, who was one of the first people using and distributing acid in this neighborhood, with the headquarters of his operations running out of an old brothel on Alexander Street. I was learning about the history of the first red light district in Vancouver, the first brothels, and how sex workers were pushed from block to block by the city and the cops. So first, back in the original township of granville aka gastown there’s already like 3ish brothels or “houses of ill repute” known. Then DuPont Street aka East Pender between columbia and carrall and later expanded up to main and down to abbott in general area. A bunch of brothels were built but mostly were single rooms with one worker occupying them. Then the workers got pushed up to Shore Street aka east Georgia street west of Main Street towards false creek, then they got pushed to Alexander street where many of the privileged and prosperous madams had lavish brothel buildings built rather quickly and luxuriously by the standards of the time. There were a LOT of brothels in the area as well as a LOT of workers and this was the original red light district of Vancouver. Chinatown literally used to have red lights? Anyways back to Al- he was referred to as Captain Trips and was known to carry a bunch of acid that he would hand out “to the right people” in hopes that it would help them wake up and perhaps experience a glimpse of what a religious experience or what enlightenment could possibly be like. He just handed out acid like money didn’t matter and died broke because it was all about the spirituality and the potential for positive change that LSD held. He ended up moving his business into one of these old brothels at Jackson and Alexander. I actually hung out there once about ten years ago. But when I saw his photo for the first time, I was shocked when I noticed the similarities between his face and Lahiri Mahasaya, one of my beloved teachers from a different time period, who as a yogaavatar, has transcended time and space to come visit me. If y’all have read Autobiography of a Yogi - you know I’m not joking about this being possible. Their eyes. Their eyes convey an eerie similar blissed expression. I would not be surprised if Al Hubbard was a reincarnation of Lahiri Mahasaya, I mean that would likely explain a lot of similarities between the two from what I’ve learned. Super trippy. Pretty sure different past life versions of my soul have spent time with both of them. anyone that knows me knows I talk about past lives a lot but I just learned my name from a recent past life and I’m fucking thrilled with how much I have discovered about that lifetime, it’s like the greatest, most compelling mystery of my ancestral trauma that I am so relentlessly seeking answers to and now they just flow to me 💕 it’s the greatest healing gift to my soul.

Beau is Afraid is a 2023 film by acclaimed director and feeler of loss, Ari Aster. I have only seen The Strange Thing About the Johnsons, Hereditary and Midsommar, but I just watched this and I'm feeling some stuff. Get ready for a film review/self-serving rant.

SPOILERS AHEAD.....maybe?

Beau is Afraid is a pseudo-comedy, pseudo-horror film about self-doubt, self-loathing, familial/ancestral trauma, sexual repression, and Nathan Lane playing the most bizarrely left-field role I've ever seen.

Beau is a 50ish year old hermit living in an apartment building straight out of Hobo with a Shotgun who is supposed to take a trip out to his mom's house to visit despite the fact that he feels nothing but anguish when even thinking about her. His keys are stolen out of his door on the way to the airport, so he can't leave. He tells his mom and she's passive aggressive about it. Then she dies and the movie is about his whacky misadventures on his way to the funeral.

If I say this movie is 5% narrative and 95% symbolism, I'm probably still off. Every second of this 3 hour epic was torture to watch for multiple reasons. It nails a fever dream ambience that is only done a disservice by the, probably, 60 cumulative minutes of Joaquin Phoenix not speaking when people say things at him (which in retrospect seems to be symbolic of his relationship with his mother where she'd ask him a question and then answer it on his behalf).

From living in a crime-ridden, urban hellscape to being abducted by psychopaths who want him to replace their son, to the forest of orphaned theater kids, to his family home, Beau is unsafe. The only time that he truly finds safety is in the forest full of people who can relate to his trauma and remind him of what he never had.

I'll cut to the chase, I hated every minute of this film, not because it was bad (quite the contrary), but because it faced me with personal truth that crawled into my viscera and is still there now. I was uncomfortable, I was, admittedly, bored during virtually every scene where Beau doesn't say anything (there are so fucking many of these), and I feel that the film was too long. It could have made it's point in a much shorter film, however, I feel the length was sort of the point. Like a tactic to further upset those watching. While I do like 3+ hour films, I feel this one did exactly what it set out to do, but I imagine that it will be a single viewing for the vast majority of its audience.

Despite the fact that I have no intent to ever watch this again, please, watch it. I feel this isn't the most pointed film that Aster has made, but as far as pure, unbridled agony goes, this film is excruciating.

Thank you for listening, though I'm not sure why you would.

How many women before me were able to stand in their power unapologetically?

Or how many were cognizant of their magical gifts, their power, but were not able to express it out of fear of being persecuted or reviled?

I pay homage to my matriline by being the free and fluid woman my loving ancestors would dream to be. I am a woman who is rooted in her power and fearlessly stands true in it. I don’t shy away from my gifts; my curious and wild feminine nature stops at nothing to continue digging deeper and deeper.

👣🕯️🕸️🚪🕳️

Book Review | It Didn't Start With You by Mark Wolynn

“It Didn’t Start With You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle” by Mark Wolynn is a powerful and insightful exploration of the impact of intergenerational trauma on individuals and families. The book offers a fresh perspective on how our ancestors’ experiences and traumas can shape our lives today, and provides practical tools for healing and breaking the cycle…

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Inheriting More Than Just Eye Colour

What have you inherited from your parents & their family gene pool? We know that we look like our parents, or a family throwback – I have a sister who is a dead ringer for a great-grandmother! We can even get our mannerisms from our family DNA, all the way down to our likes & dislikes but did you know you can also inherit the trauma that’s in the family DNA?

Inherited Trauma

Trauma in a family can come from many different sources, not just the obvious ones. It’s probably fairly obvious that major events can cause trauma:

Disasters – Tsunami, earthquake, wildfires, floods, famine etc

War – holocaust or the battlefield

Genocide

Oppression; apartheid, political rulers

However, trauma can also come from behaviour we see or experience on a daily basis, yet these are equally traumatising; 

Familial learned behaviour  – men shouldn’t show emotion or women are not important

Abuse – cyclical where the abused becomes the abuser or just the expression in the genes of the previous abuse which can manifest in later generations

Racism/Sexism/Ageism

Witnessing violence

Domestic abuse

Alcoholism

Suicide

Loss of a loved one – prison, divorced parents, death,

Mental health issues in the family

So How Does It Work?

There are studies which show that children born to holocaust survivors but who were not born during the captivity itself, can be traumatised by the parents behaviour. It may be that the great grandparent has learned to cut off their emotions with those they love, this may mean that the grandparent is very distant with their loved ones who in turn don’t show emotions or demonstrate love openly so by the time you are born as the great grandchild, there may be trauma from the lack of love & affection. This can go both ways at this point, I often see the person who goes out of their way to express love & show love which breaks the cycle, it can however perpetuate for more than 7 generations.

Can I Clear It?

Yes, it can be cleared, you can only clear yours & that of anyone who is willing to take control & change themselves.

I recently worked with a client who had pelvic issues, they asked me if I could help them understand it better. In our session we spoke about the various beliefs that could be at the root of it (interestingly the root & naval chakras are the ones affected here), one of which was linked to sexual abuse with an ancestor. They thought about it & remembered a family story of a rape three generations back.

Another client had a legacy of the holocaust, in their family they were ‘not seen’ they were not encouraged to stand out or to shine, they felt anxious constantly & felt they were not being their authentic self, this was leading to health issues because their true self & the conditioned self are at odds with each other, the conflict will eventually manifest as a health issue.

The good news is that unlike your eye colour which you’re pretty much stuck with for life unless you have coloured contact lenses, the ancestral trauma can be cleared.

How Do I Clear It

You’ll need to uncover the issue & the beliefs that go with it & then either on your own or with a professional work to create the beliefs that align to your true self. In the instance of the children of the holocaust survivor, simply being able to stand out, to shine, to be seen & heard will transform them.

I use a combination of metaphysical health, Reiki & NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). 

Ancestral Karma

There may be some Ancestral Karma involved & your role this lifetime is to clear the karma. Did you know we can reincarnate as our own descendants?

Imagine that in a previous lifetime you were responsible for the Glencoe Massacre (this is an event in the Scottish mountains where the British government under the Earl of Argyll Archibald Campbell massacred 30 or more of the Clan MacDonald because they wouldn’t swear allegiance). So you may have been Archibald Campbell in 1692 & your soul is now having a life as one of his descendants.

This event was over 330 years ago but there is still animosity between the clans, feeding the trauma.

We can use the Akashic Records, Quantum Healing & Reiki to heal the past so there are various tools that can be used. 

Outcome

Can you see how the past can create our reality & how it can affect us many years after the trauma actually happened? Think about the stories you know about in your family, what impact have they had on your relatives and what impact are they having on you and your children now? Don’t feel guilty about, but do take control of matters sooner, rather than later.

“What human beings cannot contain of their experience—what has been traumatically overwhelming, unbearable, unthinkable—falls out of social discourse, but very often on to and into the next generation as an affective sensitivity or a chaotic urgency.”

– M. Gerard Fromm, from Lost in Transmission: Studies of Trauma Across Generations

The truth will be revealed. The answers are hidden in plain sight. Those who know, know...