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the-healing-mindset · 13 hours
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shout out to people who's family isnt entirely bad or entirely good, but something in between and you dont know how to feel about them. you feel angry but you also feel guilty, because you know they genuinely love and care about you, but sometimes they show it in a way you know its not okay. your feelings are valid, your anger and sadness and grief are valid, and you dont have to prove this to no one. bigger shout out to those with memory issues who know something isnt right but can't recall all of the bad events, only the feelings, which only increases the guilt.
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the-healing-mindset · 16 hours
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I fall for raw conversation, those in which I know the person is not playing. Not pretending to be someone else. Portraying their inner self. I fall for carefree smiles which are not intended to impress anyone. I fall for the soul within and not the skin that carries it.
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Sometimes simply showing up and getting through is plenty. Perhaps the real growth is learning to let it be enough.
It turns out that in times of deep grief, serious illness and other significant life disruptions, our sanest and most caring option is often to absolve ourselves of any pressure to find meaning or growth in our experience. Instead, as I found, sometimes simply focusing on showing up and getting through is more than enough...
Patience is crucial, but it’s also hard. When you are in the thick of disorder your perception of time can slow down. Minutes feel like hours; hours feel like days; days feel like weeks...
It seems then, that the most important thing to do when in the midst of a life upheaval is to release yourself from any expectations altogether. Be patient and be kind to yourself. Seek help and social support. Do what you can to hold onto the fact that what feels like forever now probably won’t in the future. If you find immediate meaning and growth in your experience, that’s great. But if not, that’s OK too. Sometimes simply showing up and getting through is plenty. Perhaps the real growth is learning to let it be enough.
— Brad Stulberg, from "Not Everything Has to Be Meaningful" (NY Times, November 25, 2023)
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“What is a good man? A teacher of a bad man. What is a bad man? A good man’s charge. If the teacher is not respected, and the student not cared for, confusion will arise, however clever one is.”
— Laozi, Daodejing, Feng & English tr. (Ch 27)
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How to Overcome Apathy
1. We often feel apathetic when we’ve picked the wrong goals or when have no goals, or direction for our life. So, look at what inspires you, or makes you feel alive.
2. Stop listening to others, and their views on what’s important. Success is doing what’s important to YOU.
3. Try to think of some small action that improves the way you feel – and just do one small thing, and note how good it makes you feel!
4. Look for someone who could function as a role model for you – who didn’t have advantages but made something of life.
5. Visualise how great you’ll feel if you work for success, and get what matters to you, and have an awesome life.
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[A white fortune cookie paper with black text on the front and an icon of a bee. It reads: This week you will be able to handle whatever comes your way.]
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You are lovely. You are wonderful. You are worthy of love and respect. You are loved, valued. Your kindness doesn't go unnoticed. You're already amazing, pretty, important ♡
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instead of flirting, i like deep, invasive conversations. i like to get to know somebody's intricacies and nuances, their idiosyncrasies - why do you think the way that you think, why are you the way that you are. deep conversations, healthy emotional intimacy. i feel like it's a better way to build a bond and grow closer to someone.
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Your mind will believe what you continuously tell it. So tell it that you're smart, ambitious, fearless and that you have what it takes.
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Men and boys who come forward about any type of abuse they’ve been to are so fucking brave and deserve recognition and validation for that
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A lot clicked for me when my mom said the reason she was so reactive towards me as a kid was that she assumed intent behind things I did, rather than recognizing my behaviors for being normal kid behaviors or normal autism behaviors. So I got treated as if I was an adult who was intentionally doing things to upset her. She'd react to me like I had the maturity and wherewithal to do things in a cruel or manipulative way, making her life harder, when I was just existing. Just trying to learn how to cope and be a person myself. When she told me this I stopped in my tracks trying to process. Why would anyone's default assumption be that a kid is trying to antagonize them instead of like, struggling with something they're experiencing? But she was also raised the exact same way, treated like everything she did carried the weight of adult responsibility, not seen as a kid.
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“i feel like i have no purpose” You are not a fixed entity. You do not have one grand, singular, constant purpose. As long as you have genuine intent behind your actions, everything you do serves a purpose. As long as you are truly present, you notice that everything contributes to a greater whole. You do not need to dedicate yourself endlessly to one practice to achieve a purpose; allow yourself to oscillate freely between them all. Experiment. You are not one dimensional: treat yourself as such.
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