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literaryavenger · 5 months

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Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Summary: You're part of the Strike team and join Captain America as he tries to live his new life in the 21st century. [Reader is NOT Hydra]

Pairing: platonic!Steve Rogers x F!Reader, platonic!Natasha Romanoff x F!Reader

Warnings: Language. Rumlow being a dick. Mentions of death. My poor attempts at being funny. Idk, everything else in the movie?

Word Count: 2.7K

A/N: Happy New Year! This the first chapter in a new series I'm starting! I'm not sure how long it's gonna be yet, but I know it's gonna be longer than Broken. These series is about an alternate universe where the reader exists and lives through the events that happen in the MCU. A lot of the details will be changed to insert the reader, a lot of the lines said by other characters will be changed to be the reader's and I've also made up a lot of things and scenes and added them, trying my best not to change the official timeline and the main events. I hope you enjoy this and all chapters to come!

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

“You heard the boss, newbie, text Romanoff and tell her to pick up Rogers.” Rumlow taps his knuckles twice on the table for emphasis before getting up and exiting the conference room.

You make sure he doesn't miss the way you roll your eyes at the now old nickname before writing ‘New mission, need you at the jet in one hour. Asshole wants you to pick up the old man in spandex’ on your phone and sending the message to Natasha, then you get up and make your way out of the room.

“Armory.” you say as you enter the elevator.

“Confirmed.” the elevator voice says as the doors start closing.

You suit up for the mission just assigned by Pierce and go to the jet to start doing the checkups you know the rest of the idiots on the STRIKE team won’t even think about doing.

After making sure everything’s ready and in order, you can do nothing more than wait for everybody else.

Natasha and Steve get there exactly an hour after your text.

“Right on time.” you point out.

“It wasn’t a coincidence, YLN.” Natasha smirks, making you laugh.

“Cap.” you greet him with a smile that he returns. “Y/N.”

The rest of the team meets you a few minutes after. “Ready for take off.” Rumlow says to the pilot and the jet takes off.

Once you get close to the target Rumlow starts briefing Steve and Nat. “The target is a mobile satellite launch platform: The Lemurian Star. They were sending up their last payload when pirates took them, 93 minutes ago.”

“Any demands?” Steve asks.

“A billion and a half.” Rumlow answers.

“Why so steep?” Steve questions frowning.

“Because it’s Shield’s.” you answer promptly, ignoring the scowl on Rumlow’s face that disappears almost immediately.

“So it’s not off-course,” Steve says, understanding flashing in his eyes as he glares at Natasha “it’s trespassing.”

“I’m sure they have a good reason.” Natasha offers.

“You know, I’m getting a little tired of being Fury’s janitor.”-Steve seems really annoyed now.

“Relax, it’s not that complicated.” Natasha simply says.

“How many pirates?” Steve’s attention is back on the screen.

“Twenty-five, top mercs, led by this guy. Georges Batroc.” Rumlow pulls up the photo of Batroc on the monitor and looks at you expectantly, making you roll your eyes.

Of course you’re the only one who actually looked through the files.

“Ex-DGSE, Action Division. He’s at the top of Interpol's Red Notice. Before the French demobilized him, he had thirty-six kill missions. The guy’s got a rep for maximum casualties.” you fill everybody in, although it was obvious most of the guys aren't listening. At least the Captain is.

“Hostages?” Steve questions you, but Rumlow cuts in.

“Mostly techs. One officer, Jasper Sitwell.” he shows his picture. You’ve seen Sitwell around headquarters, he seems pretty close with the STRIKE team. Not that you hang out much with them outside of mission, or at all for that matter. “They’re in the gallery.”

“What’s Sitwell doing on a launch ship?” Steve asks more to himself, and he has a point. “Alright, I’m gonna sweep the deck and find Batroc. Nat and Y/N, you’ll kill the engines and wait for instructions. Rumlow, you sweep aft, find the hostages, get them to the life-pots, get ‘em out. Let’s move.”

Yep, he’s definitely in Captain mode.

“Ay ay, Captain.” you salute with a smirk that mirrors Natasha’s while Steve gives you a fake annoyed look.

“STRIKE, you heard the Cap. Gear up.” Rumlow says but you’ve already started getting ready and stopped listening to him.

“Secure channel seven.” Steve says into his wrist communicator.

“Seven secure.” Natasha replies. “Did you do anything fun Saturday night?”

“Well, all the guys from my barbershop quartet are dead, so… No, not really.” Steve answers, making both you and Natasha laugh while the pilot lets you know that the drop zone is coming up.

“You know, if you ask Kristen out, from Statistics, she’d probably say yes.” you point out, exchanging a knowing glance with Natasha.

“That’s why I don’t ask.” he fires back

“Too shy or too scared?” Natasha pushes.

“Too busy!” He yells over the wind as the door opens and then he jumps.

You and Natasha both roll your eyes and look at each other smiling, not needing to talk to understand the other.

You barely register Rumlow and Rollins commenting on Steve jumping without a parachute before grabbing one for yourself and jumping alongside Nat.

You and Natasha have known each other for a while now, all the way back since she was first brought in by Clint.

You trained with both of them, went on countless missions together (yes, including Budapest) and you would’ve been right by their side in New York if you hadn't been on an important undercover mission and had strict orders directly from Fury not to blow your cover.

After that you got assigned to the STRIKE team by Alexander Pierce, though you still have no idea why. But orders are orders so you’ve been working with the idiots ever since.

But you and Natasha are thankfully still pretty close and your down time is spent mostly with her, sometimes also visiting Clint and his family at his farm.

Nat’s still annoyed at Clint about naming his only daughter after you, middle name but still, and not her. But to be fair, you have known Clint longer, a fact that always amuses both you and Clint to bring up.

You’ve just landed when you hear Rumlow saying “you seemed pretty helpless without me” to Steve.

“What about the nurse who lives across the hall from you?” Natasha says.

“Yeah, she seems nice.” you add.

“Secure the engines, then find me a date.” Steve says in his captain voice.

“We’re multitasking.” Nat tells him before turning to you. “you take port, I’ll take starboard and we’ll meet at the rendezvous point”

“Copy.” you say and make your way to the engine room on the right side of the ship. You start taking down guys and can hear Rumlow saying they’re ready in position.

Just as you finish with the last guy you hear Steve calling your name. “What’s your status?”

“Port engine room secure.” you answer.

“Good, make your way to help Rumlow with the hostages.”

“Roger that.” you can almost hear him groan in annoyance as you smile while following his orders.

“Natasha, what’s your status?” you can hear her grunt while she fights through the comms. “Status, Natasha?”

“Hang on!” She says as she keeps fighting. “Starboard engine room secure.”

You hear Steve countdown from three and then the team moving in on the targets, you get to the rendezvous point just in time to see Rumlow rounding the corner with the hostages on his tail.

“Hostages en route to extradition.” he says in his comms as you look around for Natasha.

“Romanoff missed the rendezvous point, Cap. Hostiles are still in play.” you let Steve know while helping take care of the hostages.

“Natasha, Batroc’s on the move. Circle back to Y/N and protect the hostages.” he receives no answer and at this point you get a little worried. “Natasha!”

You want to go looking for her but you know better than to leave your post, and you’re also very aware that Natasha can take care of herself.

So you keep protecting the hostages while listening intently to the comms where you can hear Steve fight, then you hear a voice you assume it’s Batroc’s talking French and are even more surprised to hear Steve answer back in French. Impressive.

You can hear him fighting again and then you finally hear Natasha’s voice but don’t pay too much attention to the conversation, bringing your entire focus on the hostages now that you know she’s okay.

You’re helping people into the life-pods when you hear an explosion go off somewhere on the boat. You don’t even realize you’re holding your breath until you hear Natasha’s voice again and let it go, feeling even more relieved after hearing Steve too.

The ride back is very uncomfortable as you help Natasha with the minor injuries from the explosion, Steve refusing help and insisting that he’s fine, and in the mood he’s in you’re certainly not about to argue.

As soon as the jet lands he stomps away angrily and you share a concerned look with Natasha, worried about what he’s gonna do next.

You help Nat to the medbay and leave her there when she assures you she’s okay and to not make a fuss over her.

So you make your way to the usual conference room for debriefing but when you get there Rumlow very smugly assures you that you’re not needed at this meeting.

You’re used to being left out of meetings with the STRIKE team and Pierce by now, since you’ve been forced to join you’ve been left out of more meetings that you’ve attended, but it still bothers you sometimes.

Still, at least you don’t have to spend too much time with those neanderthals. Not your circus, not your monkeys.

So you just make your way to the Armory to put away your gear and then the locker room to change and go home for what you think is gonna be the rest of the day.

A few hours later you find yourself in the hospital where the STRIKE team has been called in the middle of the night because, guess what? Someone tried to kill Director Fury. Or, as it turns out, succeeded.

You’re behind Steve, Natasha and Hill alongside Rumlow and Sitwell, watching Fury flatlining and the doctors calling it.

You want to go with Nat to see Fury, be there for her knowing she cared about him as much as you do, but obviously Rumlow has to be a dick and order you to stay put. And, whether you like it or not, he’s your boss.

He rudely interrupts Nat and Steve’s conversation telling him they need him back at headquarters and you can already tell something’s suddenly off.

As much as Rumlow can be an asshole, he’s never been openly rude towards Steve.

You can hear Sitwell in your earpiece telling the team to bring Rogers in for questioning as he and Rumlow get closer.

“STRIKE, move it out.” he orders but you don't start moving until Steve’s by your side, giving him what you hope is a reassuring smile.

When you get to the Triskelion Steve is taken to Pierce’s office and you get ordered to go to Forensics and check into the evidence found on the roof, then go to Operations Control and wait for there for further instructions, so you do.

When you get to the control room you see Sitwell concentrated on a particular screen so you get close trying not to get noticed and see Steve fighting STRIKE and SHIELD agents in the elevator.

You barely have time to understand what’s happening before he’s throwing himself off the elevator and lands on his shield near the entrance of the building. Thankfully Sitwell’s “Are you kidding me?” covered your quiet “holy shit.”

You’re in the room when Sitwell gives the orders to track down Rogers to all the Agents and when he’s done, you discreetly follow him and the rest of the STRIKE team out the room.

For a bunch of guys who work for a top secret organization they sure suck at knowing when they’re being followed.

No one talks until they get to a deserted corridor. “Pierce is going to kill us. Rogers has the flash drive and can use it to find Zola. You fucked up big time letting him go.” Sitwell sounds pissed.

“Take it easy, four eyes.” Rumlow sounds just as angry “You’re not the one that got punched by a supersoldier.”

They keep talking about the flash drive and Steve and Pierce and Zola. That name sounds familiar but you can’t remember for the life of you where you heard it from.

Then it hits you.

Zola was a former Hydra scientist from World War II, turned ally when the war ended. Thank god the Howling Commandos were hot so you actually paid attention during that particular history class.

You're about to turn away so you won’t risk getting caught eavesdropping when you hear your name being mentioned.

“Someone should keep an eye on her.” Sitwell says, making you worried of becoming the next Shield target, but Rumlow proceeds to ease your worries.

“That’s a waste of manpower. The whole reason she’s even on our team was so we could keep a closer eye on Rogers, but she just spends all her time with Romanoff.”

So that’s why Pierce assigned you to the STRIKE team.

Yeah, you’re closer to Steve than most people but it’s not like you’re best friends, you sometimes hang out outside of work but most of your interactions are mission related.

You decide you've heard enough to kind of put together what’s going on, but there’s not much you can do to help Steve yet, not knowing where he is. So you stick to following the STRIKE team, praying that your absence in the control room goes unnoticed.

STRIKE gets a hit on Steve’s location and you follow them in your car to a mall but think better than to follow them in, waiting patiently outside.

After a few minutes you see Steve and Natasha in their not so well thought out undercover outfits and, once again, the Captain surprises you by hot-wiring a car.

You follow them, more discreetly this time, knowing Natasha and Steve would be better at realizing they’re being followed.

You get to an old army camp in Wheaton, New Jersey and are about to follow them in and make yourself known to them, but before you can get out of your car you hear the plan the STRIKE team has through your comms.

The idiots never even thought about using a different channel. Of course Rumlow would underestimate you this much.

So you decide to drive deeper into the trees surrounding the camp to make sure you’re not visible and wait, knowing Steve and Natasha will need a fast getaway.

You can do nothing more than watch as a missile hits the bunker and the helicopters start coming. You want to go and help them, make sure they're okay, but you will yourself to stay put and not give away your position.

When you can faintly see Steve’s figure, almost running with what looks like Nat in his arms, you finally turn the car on and drive coming to a stop right in front of him and startling him to a stop on his tracks.

“Get in.” you urge him, and he seems wary of you, rightly so. “Come on, Cap, they can’t know I’m here!”

He seems to decide to risk trusting you and delicately sets an unconscious Nat down in the back seat before getting in the passenger’s seat.

As soon as his door is closed you drive away as fast as you can, heading back to Washington and you can feel Steve’s eyes on you.

“How do I know I can trust you?” he finally says after a minute of silence, his eyes never leaving you. “You’re part of them, after all.”

“I can see where you’re coming from, but trust me I’m not one of them.” You glance at him and you can tell that he’s not convinced yet, so you go on. “I didn’t even know who ‘them’ were before today. Apparently the reason Pierce assigned me to the STRIKE team was in hopes to get closer to you. He overestimated how close we actually are. If Natasha was awake right now she would tell you how much I hate working with those assholes… You can trust me.”

You take a look at the rearview mirror and see Natasha, but her relaxed face does nothing to ease your worries.

Steve seems to pick up on your concerns as his features soften and, ever the hopelessly optimistic, he chooses to believe you.

“Okay,” he says, “what do we do now?”

“We have to get you somewhere safe” you check your mirrors as much as you can, making sure you’re not being followed “I don’t know any safehouses outside of Shield's radar. We need a place we can go that they know nothing about.”

“I have an idea.” he says, you glance at him and see him already looking at you, so you nod.

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starlazergazer · 1 year

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Through the Looking Glass

Pairing: Anakin x Reader / some Peter Parker x Reader

Request: Anakin and the reader stumble into the MCU where they meet peter parker (other MCU Y/N’s boyfriend) who is so relieved to see her he kisses her sending Anakin into a jealous rage. Queue extra possessive/protective jealous Anakin

Warnings: Some swearing, jealous Anakin

Word Count: 6K

A/N: Not gonna lie I’m not sure where in Marvels timeline this takes place (maybe just before infinity war? Maybe?) I just wrote in the characters I wanted. Had a lot of fun creating a cute little love story for the reader and peter so I hope you enjoy that!

You tried to force calm breaths. Tried to ignore the way everyone in the room was wearing clothing unlike you had ever seen before, sitting on furniture unlike you had ever seen before, in front of a window that bore a skyline unlike anything you had ever seen before.

But no, there was an explanation for this, there were thousands of planets in the galaxy, each one completely different, it wasn’t unusual to stumble across something you weren’t familiar with.

But still that didn’t change the feeling of wrongness that settled in your gut, didn’t change the fact that the glowing circle you and Anakin had stumbled through somehow seemed to have changed everything about the environment, didn’t change the fact that each person in this room was looking at you with wide eyes and slightly opened mouths.

That was another thing of note, they were all looking at you, not Anakin. He got little more than a passing glance, but just you, the moment you stumbled through whatever the glowing circle had been every eye had been glued to you.

Apparently this was something you weren’t alone in noticing.

Anakin was in front of you the second his own shock broke, hand already on his saber as he surveyed the large group in front of you suspiciously, waiting to see who would make the first move.

Every member of the group before you reacted together, each dropping into their own fighting stance, eyes finally breaking from you to Anakin.

The entire room had been pushed to the edge, the slightest movement from either side could send you over and into chaos. Anakin was a good fighter and you worked well by his side but there’s no way you could take on this many people, though something inside you told you that you didn’t want to either.

Hesitantly you stepped forward, placing a hand on Anakin’s shoulder to pull him back softly, whispering to him “stand down”. And though he didn’t necessarily listen to you, he did back up slightly, letting you take the lead.

“Hi I’m Y/N” you introduced yourself awkwardly with a small wave, trying to make yourself seem as non-threatening as possible “knight of the jedi order, do any of you have any idea where we are right now?”

A dozen eyes scattered around the room, making confused, worried glances at one another before eventually all turning to look at one man with tinted colored glasses and a goatee off to the side, a man that had an expression you could only describe as sorrowful.

“We’re going to have to warn the kid” was all the man said with a sigh, eyes finally breaking from you to meet the groups gaze.

“What’s going on?” A sad, broken voice fighting to stay upbeat spoke from behind the group and you watched every member go stiff, wide eyes split between staring at you and looking back behind them.

It was like a bubble pushing through the crowd, each person moving slightly to give the man at the back room as he slowly slipped through them. A call came seconds before he emerged, a small halfhearted “kid wait” before he appeared to you, a man roughly your age in a bright red and blue suit.

As soon as he escaped the group his eyes fell on you and you watched him freeze in place, his mouth falling open ever so slightly.

His face was covered in cuts working to heal, lines of dark red dried blood and deep purple bruises littered his figure, a state of being you were more than used to inhabiting. But he had a glossy sheen over his eyes as he looked at you and you could feel it had nothing to do with his injuries.

“Y/N?”

And it wasn’t just that he knew your name somehow but the way that he seemed to choke on it, you had the feeling that he knew not just your name but truly knew you.

“Kid” another soft call, a hand immerging and pulling back his shoulder that he brushed off no problem, his eyes never leaving you.

And you were so caught up in the arrival of this mystery man, so shocked by his reaction to seeing you, that you didn’t even comprehend the fact that he was approaching you, moving across the room faster than you had thought possible.

Long fingers traced their way below your ears, tangling themselves in your hair as thumbs rested naturally on your temples. And there was something strangely familiar about this action, something oddly comforting in a world where nothing seemed to make sense.

His lips were planted on yours before you could even think to object, your eyes fluttering closed more on instinct than anything. And his kiss was so desperate, so passionate, so…so brief.

Suddenly he was being ripped away from you, fingers tangling in your hair for a second as they were forced back roughly. Then the only thing you could focus on was the familiar sound of a lightsaber activating, a blue hue taking over your previously black vision behind your eyelids.

Opening your eyes you saw Anakin standing protectively in front of you, saber drawn and held up in front of him. The man who seemed to know you was sprawled out on his back on the floor, staring daggers up at Anakin before him.

The rest of the room were raising up what you could only assume were weapons, all pointed directly at Anakin and you knew you had to do something, knew at the very least they didn’t seem eager to hurt you.

“Ani stop” you cried out, pulling him back with his arm, taking a stepin front of him in turn, trying to ignore the sad broken voice that repeated your words in a confused whisper from the floor, “they clearly know as little about what’s going on as we do”

“Because that was clearly the actions of a guy who doesn’t know you” the anger in Anakin’s voice clearly wasn’t helping to calm the rest of the room, nor the way he waved his saber in the guy’s direction.

“Anakin” you hissed back at him, a hand coming up to his, pushing his saber down until he was forced to shut it off, the entire room visibly relaxing at its disappearance.

You could feel the way his chest heaved with every deep breath, his eyes glaring daggers at every person in the room as he fought to take a step forward in front of you again, you effectively stopping him with a hand on his chest.

“Y/N?” Again there was that voice, a sad, confused voice calling out to you, the man pushing himself up to his feet before you, a hand almost instinctively coming up to reach out to you “what’s going on?”

Anakin was pushing forward at the same time, a growl slipping from his lips though you had him silenced with a glare and a raised brow, daring him to push you any further.

“I don’t think that’s Y/N kid” a man from the group spoke up.

His words had the man before you shaking his head “No I-“

You cut him off before the conversation could get any more confusing for you “My name is Y/N” you insisted, forcing your eyes away from the man before you to the rest of the group “and I need someone to explain what is happening right now”

The group before you sent worried glances to one another, a silent conversation you were not privy to taking place before your eyes. Instead, your attention was drawn back to the man before you as he placed a hand on your shoulder, an action that had Anakin pressing forward into the palm of your hand once again.

“Baby what’s going on?” and he said it with such concern, such sincerity, that for a second you believed that there was something wrong with you, that you were meant to have known him all along.

But it only lasted for a second before Anakin was between the two of you, roughly pushing the man back from you, getting in his face as he spoke “I’d keep my hands to myself if I were you spider boy”

The man was already rearing back on Anakin, his hand coming up before him with fingers in a weird configuration before a hand wrapped in shiny red armor caught his wrist, effectively stopping him.

Immediately you were pushing yourself between them, two hands coming up to Anakin’s chest to push him back, not missing the way his eyes never left the mystery man’s figure.

“You cannot keep starting fights here” you hissed at him, putting your weight behind your next push, sending Anakin staggering back a few steps.

“I’m not the one starting fights” he insisted, a hand pointing angrily at the mystery man behind you.

“You are” you objected, forcing his gaze back to yours with a small push “and I need you to chill out”

His clenched his jaw angrily as he stared down at you, arms crossing in front of his chest defensively “I am being chill”

You let out a strained chuckle, raising an eyebrow at him “really this is chill? Then why don’t you work on being chill in the corner while I figure out what’s going on here”

“I’m not leaving you alone with him” he spat, eyes going over your shoulder to the stranger behind you who was apparently having a very similar argument as you.

“Why don’t you sit this one out kid” you heard from over you shoulder, the familiar sad voice desperately interjecting quickly. “But Mr. Stark-“

“Well it looks like he won’t be there for this either so you can both sit this one out” you hummed back at Anakin with a triumphant smirk on your face, watching him sputter as he tried to come up with his next excuse.

“I’m not leaving you alone with the rest of them!”

“I can handle myself” you rolled your eyes as you crossed your arms over your chest “besides they seem to know who I am they won’t hurt me”

“Yeah they seem to know who you are a little too much” he groaned, eyes casting back over your shoulder.

“Ani” you called his attention back to you with a small sigh, reaching out to take his hand and give it a small squeeze, trying to be as reassuring as possible, fighting down your rapidly growing annoyance “look I want to get home as much as you do, they’ll be more inclined to speak with me if you aren’t there”

“You don’t know that” he groaned, practically begging you to drop it.

“I think we both do” you sighed, casting a glance behind you to see the stranger in the blue and red suit being led away down a hallway, eyes glued to you the whole time “just give me a few minutes, okay?”

He sighed, watching the man be led away, looking back over the group to see their attention torn between you and the kid, confusion and worry etched into every expression “fine, a few minutes, but you’re staying in my sight line”

With a small chuckle you gave his hand a soft squeeze, ushering him to a seat in the corner with your eyes before finally making your way over to the group only to see them all already watching you.

“I’m sorry about him” you apologized awkwardly, noting the way they all seemed to glare at Anakin, a look he was more than eager to return from across the room “today’s been a lot”

The group seemed to ignore your apology completely, Mr. Stark instead talking to seemingly nobody “Friday-“

“Already on it sir” a voice seemed to speak from the room itself, putting you naturally on the defensive as you searched the ceiling for its source. “Vitals are normal, heart rate slightly elevated but that is to be expected, she seems healthy sir”

Grave looks were shared amongst the group only furthering your confusion. “Was that voice talking about me?”

Again your question seemed to fall on deaf ears, a silent conversation occurring before your eyes once again before Mr. Stark spoke up. “Okay kid why don’t you tell me what you remember”

And you felt yourself start to grow frustrated at the statement, at the condescending tone, at the implication that the issue laid entirely within your own head. “Look I don’t care what you all think you know but you definitely don’t know me. I have never met any of you before in my life” you could feel Anakin shifting to his feet at the sound of your raised voice from across the room, forcing yourself to take a deep breath and lower it you showed him a small open hand, telling him to stand down “all I know is this morning Anakin and I were on a mission like normal and this spinning yellow portal appears out of nowhere, we step through it and now we’re here”

They all seemed to perk up at that, all eyes going to the man off to the right in the weird blue robes, “Strange what does she mean yellow spinning portal”

“I’m not sure” the man spoke with deeply furrowed brows, eyes casting downward in thought “I certainly didn’t do that, besides with her having a completely different set of memories that can only mean one thing and we haven’t figured out how to do that yet”

“Yes but spinning yellow portals are your thing” Mr. Stark spoke up, anger and frustration edging into his voice as he did before you cut him off.

“Hold on no” you held your hands up, effectively silencing them all “I’m sick of everyone in this room knowing more about this than me. Someone explain now”

Hesitant looks were shared before each set of eyes slowly started to fall on the same man, a sigh escaping Mr. Stark before he spoke “how much do you know about the multiverse theory?”

You took a deep breath as you stood just inside the open door you had been directed to.

It didn’t occur to you that you didn’t know what to say until you were standing in the doorway, it didn’t occur to you till then that maybe Anakin was right and you weren’t the person he would want to talk to now, all you knew was that you wanted to be there for him, in whatever way you could.

His gaze connected with yours the minute you walked in, you unable to focus on anything but his slightly red, puffy eyes, barely even noticing Mr. Stark’s quiet “I’ll give you guys a moment” before he slipped past you out the door.

Peter’s eyes never strayed from yours.

“So…” he prompted somewhat awkwardly, breaking a silence you hadn’t realized had been going on for too long until that moment “you’re not actually Y/N then”

“I-uh-well” the words stumbled out, forcing a small chuckle to your voice to try and ease the tension.

“Right” he chuckled back, eyes casting down to his hands “just not my Y/N”

“yeah” you sighed softly, wrapping your arms around yourself “I’m sorry about that”

His laugh felt slightly more genuine this time, eyes casting back up to meet yours with a soft, almost sad smile “you’ve got nothing to apologize for” he assured you “if anything I should be-“ and his sentence died in his throat, his eyes going slightly wide as a hand rose to run anxiously through his hair “oh my god I kissed you”

And this time your laugh was more genuine, immediately shaking your head softly “yeah no worries tho-“

Peter immediately cut you off, zero indication that he had even heard you “Y/N I am so sorry I didn’t know it wasn’t you, or that it was you? I don’t know. Either way-“ he was rambling quickly, working himself up into a frantic pace.

So you reacted without thinking, walking up to him and grabbing his forearm, physically pulling his attention to you “Peter stop, it’s fine”

He froze beneath your touch, eyes going immediately to your hand, mouth falling open ever so slightly at the action. It was only then that you realized your mistake, your eyes going wide as you started to let go “I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have-“

His reflexes were quick, his hand coming up to stop yours from moving before you could let go, resting for a brief moment on top of your own before he spoke “no it’s okay I-“ and he paused, a breathy laugh escaping before he finished “I can’t decide if this is helping or hurting more”

A sad smile grew on your face in response, giving his arm a soft squeeze “I understand, just let me know if you figure it out yeah?”

“Yeah” he chuckled back, eyes coming up to meet yours “it’s weird you’re so much like her”

An awkward clearing of a throat startled the two of you, Peter instinctually jumping back from you, your hand dropping from his in response as you looked to the source of the noise, Anakin brooding in the doorway.

“Am I interrupting?” he asked in a tone that told you he really didn’t care if he was.

“uhhh” you looked to Peter who stared back at you with wide eyes, the memory of Anakin pushing him off of you no doubt fresh in his mind “no, no you’re not. What’s up?”

“Tony’s set aside some rooms for us and I know you haven’t slept in far too long” he pointed back behind him, pointedly only looking at you, avoiding all eye contact with Peter.

You in turn turned back to the man, sending him a silent question with your expression that he picked up on no problem “Yeah go ahead I’m good” he shrugged you off with a forced smile.

“Are you sure?” you asked him, not liking the idea of leaving him alone quite yet.

“Yeah” and this time you saw his smile reach his eyes, only a bit but enough to make you feel somewhat better “go get some sleep Y/N”

So, slowly you conceded, working your way back across the room to Anakin, his hand immediately going to the small of your back as he stepped aside to let you out, ushering you softly further down the hall without another word.

You couldn’t sleep. Not that that should have been a surprise given the day you’ve had but it still sucked staring at the ceiling for hours on end. So you decided to change that, getting up you pulled on a sweatshirt you were given to borrow and crept out of your room planning to take a walk around the tower.

Taking a few random turns with no real care as to where you ended up you eventually found a light at the end of a hallway, soft clinks of a metal spoon against a bowl drawing you closer to find none other than Peter hunched over the kitchen island eating.

“Hey” you called out softly, not wanting to sneak up on the poor guy “what’re you doing up?”

A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he started to answer “I could ask you-“ but his words died in his throat as his gaze came up to meet yours, freezing mid-sentence the second he laid eyes on you.

And immediately you were cursing yourself for saying anything in the first place, he was trying to be alone, probably worrying about his girlfriend, he didn’t need the living embodiment of her sneaking up on him now. “Sorry I shouldn’t have-“ you were apologizing quickly, starting to back out of the room before he stopped you.

“No wait-“ he called out, halting you in place “It’s just-you’re uh-you’re wearing my sweatshirt” he stumbled out, pointedly avoiding eye contact as you did so.

Your eyes went wide at his words, looking down at the sweatshirt you hadn’t thought twice about throwing on before you left “I’m so sorry it was given to me in a pile of clothes they said I could borrow I can-“ and you were already starting to take it off, getting one arm out of the sleeve before Peter stopped you with a small laugh.

“No no keep it” he assured you with a smile, looking down into his bowl as he said his next words a lot softer “It’s always looked better on you”

And even though you knew you weren’t really the person he was talking about a heat still rose to your cheeks that had you grinning at the floor to keep him from noticing. “Whatcha got there?”

“Ice cream” he answered you with a soft smile as you approached the other side of the island, taking one of the chairs. “My Y/N and I have this unspoken agreement that if either of us is having a bad day we meet late at night for junk food”

And you liked the way he talked about her, the fondness in his voice, the small smile on his lips, the way he never really seemed to focus on anything else in the room as he told the story, fully enwrapped in the memory of it.

“Is it good? The ice cream?” you asked, nodding vaguely to the bowl as you rested your chin in your palm.

“Of course it’s good” he laughed with a soft shake of his head “it’s ice cream how could it not be”

“I’ve never had it” you giggled back at him, peering curiously at the brown sludge that inhabited his bowl.

“What how can you-“ and suddenly he paused, eyes going wide as he looked up at you, dropping the spoon into the bowl “do you not have ice cream in your universe?”

And you couldn’t help but laugh at his expression, unable to do more than shake your head in answer.

“Unacceptable” he declared, grabbing his bowl and dashing around the island to sit next to you, pushing his bowl in front of you “you have to try this”

“I feel like you’re hyping this up way too much” you shook your head at him with a smile while nonetheless taking the spoon.

“Alright lets see you say that after taking a bite” he challenged you and you tried to ignore the way his knees so casually bumped into yours as he sat next to you, the sparkle in his eyes when he looked at you so eager to hear what you had to say, to see your reaction. You could certainly see why another version of you would’ve fallen for him.

Appeasing Peter you took a bite of the incredibly cold concoction and the second it hit your tongue your eyes went wide, “holy shit”

“Right” Peter laughed, leaning back in his chair in triumph.

“Its so soft and creamy and sweet” you gushed, eagerly taking a second bite without thinking “why would you eat anything else?”

Peter chuckled back in amusement at you, leaning forward to steal the spoon when you finally let it go, keeping the bowl in front of you but stealing a bite for himself “just wait, tomorrow I’ll take you to get pizza”

“I’d like that” you nodded eagerly, taking the spoon back from him as a silence fell over the two of you.

It wasn’t a tense or awkward silence, but it wasn’t exactly a comfortable silence either. The silence of strangers with no real idea how to navigate the conversation going forward.

“Couldn’t sleep?” you asked him hesitantly, not missing the way his gaze shifted to the distance, avoiding you as much as possible.

“I mean, can you blame me?” he asked softly, crossing his arms over his chest with a sigh.

“For what it’s worth” you offered softly, pulling his gaze back to you with your words as you leaned forward slightly “if Dr. Strange is right and your Y/N just switched places with me then she is in very good hands”

“Yeah?” he asked with a small smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

You nodded to reassure him, leaning forward to rest your forearms on the countertop “Yeah. Before Anakin and I came through that spinning portal thing we were on a mission with Master Obi-wan Kenobi and Captain Rex. Obi-wan basically raised me and there is no one I trust more to have my back in a fight than Rex.” You said honestly “there’s no doubt in my mind they’ll have her back”

Peter nodded at your words, eyes casting back across the kitchen as he mulled them over, and you sincerely hoped he found at least some comfort in them.

“You on the other hand” you poked him in the side playfully as you stood, earning at least a small chuckle from him “you look like shit. Get some sleep Peter”

“I’ll try” he assured you softly, not looking your way as you stood up and headed for the door before calling you back, spinning in his chair to look at you now by the door “Hey Y/N…thank you”

You smiled softly back at the boy, giving him a soft nod “You’re welcome Peter” and that was it before you slipped from the kitchen and started heading back to your room, hesitating when you noticed a figure sitting just outside of your door, a very familiar figure with his back leaned against it.

“Ani what’re you doing?” you asked with a soft chuckle, still in a rather warm and fuzzy mood after your talk with Peter

“couldn’t sleep” he shrugged, his tone cold and icy as he stared back up at you “figured you probably couldn’t either so I came to keep you company”

You chose to ignore his tone, chose to chalk it up to him being tired, to it being a long day, and started to tell him about this great new food you had just discovered, when his next question spoiled any good mood you had that night.

“How was you’re ice cream with Peter?”

And it wasn’t the question that set you off, rather the way he said it, the way he seemed to spit it at your feet, as if you were somehow betraying him by comforting a man who’s girlfriend is actively missing.

“Have a good night Anakin” you spat back, shoving him to the side with your leg as you stepped around him to get into your room planning to shut the door in his face when his next question stopped you.

“You know you’re not his girlfriend right?”

And you decided then that you have had it with his attitude this entire time. Besides it’s not like you were getting any sleep tonight anyways. Holding open the door you ushered him inside, “get in here”

He raised an eyebrow at you in response, clearly not expecting any more than a door slammed in his face.

“I’m not fighting with you in the hallway while everyone else is asleep so get in here” you grunted, stepping aside to allow him in before shutting the door securely behind him.

Anakin did nothing but stare down at you, eyebrows drawn in confusion as he crossed his arms in front of his chest, waiting for you to speak first. You weren’t aware that was something angry Anakin knew how to do.

“Alright I get it” you spat at him, trying your best to avoid working yourself up even further, trying to keep your voice low “you’re mad that we ended up in an entirely different universe”

“That’s not-“ Anakin tried to interrupt but you silenced him with a glare, silently daring him to interrupt you any further.

“You’re mad that we have no way of getting home, you’re mad we’re stuck here with no idea as to what is going on, but you do not get to take it out on me”

“That’s not what-“ Anakin tried again but you cut him off

“That’s exactly what you’re doing” You insisted with a raised brow “every second you are over top of me, complaining every time I try to talk with the other people here about what is going on, and maker forbid I try and have just a normal conversation with any of them to try and lighten the mood. I am just trying to get us out of here and you are actively making that more difficult with every step”

Silence fell briefly as Anakin took in your words, shaking his head softly with a sigh before running a tired hand over his face “I’m not mad about any of that”

You raised a brow at him “then what are you mad about”

And for whatever reason that question seemed to shut him up. Anakin’s mouth opening and closing multiple times as he tried to think of what to say, his eyes bouncing down to your shirt multiple times before he sighed, his hand dramatically coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose “can you at least take off his sweatshirt while we do this?”

Rolling your eyes back in response you slipped out of the sweatshirt without a word, dramatically tossing it onto the floor, raising your eyebrows back at him inviting him to continue.

He let out a deep breath once you took it off, giving you a small nod before thanking you awkwardly, another brief silence passing between the two of you before he finally answered your question “I’m mad at Peter”

You sighed at his ridiculous response, slumping back against the wall behind you as you spoke “why are you mad a Peter?”

“Because he’s in love with you” his answer came quick with no hesitation, his own eyes boring straight into yours as he said it making you furrow your brows.

“Peter is not in love with me he’s in love with a different universe’s me” you reminded him.

“That doesn’t really count right now and you know it” he insisted, holding up a finger the minute you started to object “not with that kiss he gave you right after we arrived, not with the longing looks he sends your way whenever you’re in the same room, and definitely not when he’s flirting with you at 3 in the morning over ice cream, whatever that is”

“It’s actually very delicious-“ You muttered under your breath, half hoping he wouldn’t even hear you

“that’s not the point at you know it” he raised his brows at you, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Then what is the point?” You challenged him, crossing your own arms to mirror him “he misses his girlfriend who I happen to be exceptionally similar to in basically every way, so what?”

“So you’re not his girlfriend” he pointed out “you are notably an entirely different person than his girlfriend”

“Again so what?” you demanded “He’s sad, I offer some comfort, that is the extent of our relationship so, so what Anakin?”

“So what happens when we go back to our universe?” he asked, his voice peaking up in anger “what happens when it’s time for you to say goodbye to Peter. I heard your conversation in the kitchen, I see the way you blush around him. Are you going to be able to say goodbye to him?”

You scoffed at him “oh so this is all out of concern for me then Ani? You’re so concerned that when we figure everything out Peter’s going to break my heart or whatever?” You raised an eyebrow at him, challenging him to correct you.

He took a deep breath before doubling down “I’m just trying to look out for you-“

“Bullshit” you interrupted “tell me the real reason”

“That is the real-“

“Tell me the-“

“Because he looks at you the way that I look at you”

His sudden outburst caught you off guard, your posture subconsciously straightening as you furrowed your brows at him, waiting silently for him to continue.

Anakin seemed almost as surprised by his own words as you did, his chest heaving with heavy breaths as his mind scrambled for the next thing to say, opting instead to just lay his cards on the table.

“He looks at you the same way I have looked at you since we were eleven and less than 24 hours later you’re wearing his clothes and he’s calling you beautiful while you blush at the floor and it kills me”

You mouth hung open slightly at his words, your brain struggling to wrap itself around all of this new information. “Ani I-“

“No” he sighed, cutting you off as he sat down on the edge of the bed, his elbows going to his knees “I-“ and he paused, struggling for a moment for the right words “you don’t have to feel the same way, I know I’m not entitled to anything from you, you don’t even have to say anything right now if you don’t want to but you wanted to know why I was so angry and that’s it.” He chuckled bitterly, shaking his head softly “Because Peter somehow has everything I want with two different versions of you”

“Ani” you couldn’t help but chuckle back, moving across the room to sit down next to him “I don’t like Peter like that”

“Yeah?” he asked, sending a skeptical look back your way that had a soft smile playing at your lips.

“I don’t even know the guy how could I?” you shook your head, slowly leaning forward so your posture was in line with his “Besides there’s already someone else”

He raised a brow in your direction, wordlessly waiting for an explanation.

“A guy I grew up with” you started slowly, reaching around to loop your arm into his, fingers stretching out to intertwine with his own “A guy who used to let me win in lightsaber duals because he knew it made me feel better, who always managed to make me laugh no matter what mood I was in, and who has the unique ability to make the already terrible experience of being inexplicably transported to another universe even worse by throwing a temper tantrum.”

Finally moving your gaze up you were immediately met with Anakin’s already on you, a soft smile on his lips “a temper tantrum huh?”

“Yes a temper tantruem” you chuckled softly back to him “that’s the best way I can think to describe it”

He shook his head softly as he bumped your shoulder playfully, turning more fully to face you “well I think he sounds pretty great you should tell me more”

You laughed at that but played along, turning to face him in response “well for a guy who claims to have been looking at me since we were eleven he’s pretty oblivious, and…” you drew out the end of your sentence, reaching a hand up to grab at his chin giving his face a few turns “I guess you could say he’s pretty handsome”

“And..” he prompted with a smug smile making you roll your eyes.

“And he doesn’t know when to quit” you muttered, already pulling his face down to yours.

#anakin x reader #Anakin Skywalker #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker imagine #peter parker x reader #anakin imagine #anakin fic #anakin x you #anakin x y/n #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker fic #anakin skywalker x you #star wars fanfiction #star wars imagine #star wars x you #star wars x reader

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hard-core-super-star · 8 months

Note

Hiya, may I request something for Kate bishop.

(Peter could be rs cousin or something.) Reader (who is spiderwoman and dating Kate), Kate and Yelena help Peter Parker (T. Holland) with the villains from the other earth's and as a result green goblin ends up killing aunt May and she seeks out revenge for may and almost kills green goblin but Yelena and kate stop her. (Oh, and Peter is the only one who is forgotten)

no such thing as good grief [K.Bishop]

pairing: kate bishop x parker!reader

summary: you always knew being a superhero came with a long list of dangers but it turns out you weren't quite ready to deal with someone else suffering for your mistakes.

warnings: major character death; heavy mentions of blood + injuries + grief; a huge serving of angst with a side of hurt/comfort, a dash of humor, and a sprinkle of plot; weird descriptions of fight scenes

wordcount: 3.2k

a/n: i probably should have rewatched no way home for this but shhh. any inconsistencies are just part of this other timeline because i said so and the MCU timeline is incredibly messy anyway. i very clearly got way too attached and wrote way too much but whoops, hope you enjoy <3 [also yes, may is R's mom in this but somewhere along the way, i resorted to just calling her 'may' instead 'mom' because I didn't want it to get too repetitive]

* * * * * * *

Nobody ever said being an Avenger was easy.

Especially now that most members are either dead, retired, off-world, or just simply unreachable. Nobody wanted to address the fact that the safety of planet Earth now rests solely in the hands of a bunch of college students and a Russian ex-assassin.

Of course, there’s still Dr. Strange and his merry band of sorcerers, including Wong, but it seems the only thing that man can successfully protect is his massive ego. It’s harsh, sure, but that doesn’t make it any less true.

Although, maybe you’re just bitter that Stephen’s soft spot for your cousin ultimately got you tangled in a mess you had no business being in.

A crack in the multiverse is bad enough but it being caused by one of Stephen's failed spells is even worse.

And of course, Peter's seniority when it comes to being part of a superpowered team means when he calls, you answer. There’s also the fact that he’s family and your mom would absolutely lecture you if you ignored him…again.

You really wanted to sit this one out but there was no way your girlfriend was going to let you. You tried all the tricks you knew to convince her but ultimately, her and Yelena ended up dragging you out of your apartment to help Peter fix his multiversal disaster.

“So, your plan to defeat these villains is to…not defeat them?” You question. “In what universe does that make sense?”

“Don’t be a jerk, y/n/n,” Kate mumbles.

You playfully roll your eyes at the archer’s words, biting back a comment about how rare it is to see her actually attempting to focus on forming a plan. She’s gotten a lot better at not rushing into situations but old habits die hard.

“Actually, it’s May’s plan,” Peter says. “I know it’s unconventional but I think it could work. We’re the good guys, right?”

Yelena shoots you a look but you just shrug in response. Fighting with him will only lead to more problems that you’re not sure you’re qualified to solve. Actually, none of you are qualified for any of this.

Webs, arrows, and strong punches are not going to get you out of this one.

You swallow down your hesitation and give Peter a small nod. “Right. What do you need us to do?”

Step 1, according to your annoying Spider-Cousin, is to pick up a few materials for him while he takes the misplaced villains to Happy’s condo. You don’t love the idea of being an errand girl but you already agreed to help and there’s no way Kate will let you take your words back.

Her loyalty is as admirable as it is annoying. But at least you get to spend time driving around New York with your two favorite people. And by driving you really mean sitting in the backseat with Kate while Yelena complains about how much harder it is to drive a car than a motorcycle.

Step 1 takes about an hour to complete and it’s not until you’re all heading to Happy’s place that your girlfriend decides to question you and your lack of trust in Peter’s plan.

“Since when are you so cynical?” She asks, her arm loosely wrapped around your waist.

“Me?” The question catches you off-guard and you turn your face away from the car window to look at her instead. “I'm not the one shooting arrows through people’s limbs.”

“It’s not like I’m killing people.”

“Neither am I,” you reply with a shrug. “I'm just saying to send them back to their universe.”

“So they can die,” she says, her tone making her statement sound more like a question than anything else.

“Well…yeah.”

It sounds brutal when said out loud but it’s the logical choice. Keeping them in your universe isn’t an option and there’s no telling what kind of damage Peter’s plan will have on those other timelines.

“And you don’t think that’s cruel?”

“Should I?” You look away from Kate’s eyes before you get distracted from the conversation at hand due to the puppy-dog look they’ve been carrying the past few minutes. “Yelena, you wanna help me out here?”

“You’re gonna get the heartless Russian assassin to help you prove your point?” She asks with a chuckle.

“Ex-assasin,” the blonde corrects her. “And I am not heartless. But y/n is right. What is that stupid saying? Something about a circus?”

“Not my circus, not my monkeys.”

“Exactly.”

“Okay, so if you’re so against this plan why did you agree to it?” Kate finally asks the million-dollar question.

The answer is a lot more complicated than one would think and you’re not in the mood to explain why the plan being your mom’s idea means so much to you. So, you take a page out of the archer’s book and reply with a stupid joke instead.

“You think May would have been fine with me letting Peter run around on his own?”

Yelena’s reply is just as witty as yours. “I am only here because someone has to babysit you while y/n babysits Spider-Boy.”

“You guys are jerks.” There are notes of humor in her voice that she tries to wipe away with an overdramatic pout.

You chuckle and lean in to kiss her, ignoring Yelena’s complaints about how annoyingly in love you two are.

The moment is a welcome respite from a chaotic and difficult situation.

A situation that only gets worse with every minute that goes by.

The three of you finally arrive at Happy’s condo and are led inside by your overly chipper cousin. You try to ignore the way the hairs on the back of your neck stand up at the mere sight of the supervillains scattered all around the living room.

You’re probably just being paranoid. That’s what you tell yourself until Peter lets it slip that he’s not the only person watching over the time-scattered villains.

You grab a hold of his arm and lead him away from Kate and Yelena, more for his sake than yours if you’re being honest. “What do you mean my mom is here? Why the hell would you bring her into this mess?

“I didn’t do anything!” He responds. “She wanted to help. You know how she is.”

If you had a nickel every time he used that excuse you’d be as rich as your girlfriend.

“This is different, Pete! It’s not just her bringing us snacks while we fix our web shooters, this is serious.”

“Which is exactly why she should be here. We need all the help we can get to do this. You have no problem with Kate being here, why is May different?”

It takes you a second to be able to reply, your brain not fully computing his audacity to make such a flippant comparison. “Because she’s not a superhero, you dimwit! She’s the only family I have left, I am not letting her get hurt because you convinced her to help us.”

“First of all, ouch. Second of all, relax. She can take care of herself.”

All you can really do is groan since it’s obvious no amount of arguing will get him to change his mind and help you convince May to go home. There’s also the fact that she probably wouldn’t listen to you even if you managed to get Peter on your side.

“Fine. Just tell me what to do so we can wrap up this shitshow.”

You ignore his very obvious sigh of relief and focus on lending the helping hand you promised earlier. Help that makes you ignore your growing unease and leaves you unprepared for the violent turn things take.

You’re not even sure how it happens.

One second you and Kate are arguing about how Sandman’s powers even work while Yelena and May help administer Dr. Ock’s cure and the next you’re watching Green Goblin turn the rest of the misplaced villains against all of you.

Your one and only thought is on getting your mom out of here unscathed but it quickly becomes clear you won’t be able to just swing her to safety. There’s no plan, or even time to think things through, there’s only a tense atmosphere and an inkling that things won’t go well no matter what you do.

Green Goblin’s taunts ring in your ears right as Electro blasts Dr. Ock out the window. Kate shoots you a look you can’t ignore and you hold on to the silent promise that she’ll be okay without you.

You dive out the window without a second thought, barely managing to shed your hoodie and reveal the Spider Suit hidden beneath your clothes. (Peter can keep all his fancy little upgrades, nothing beats the classic suit in your opinion)

You manage to help Dr. Ock before he slams into the ground with equal parts teamwork and a staggering amount of webs.

He assures you he’s fine once you manage to get onto a nearby roof, not so subtly doing his best to get rid of a few webs that are stuck to his clothes. You shoot him an apologetic smile before jumping off the roof and swinging back to the now blacked-out building.

You ignore the swarm of cop cars and news vans that litter the front of the building and impulsively divide to crash through a window into the lobby, figuring it’ll be faster to find May and your team this way.

You jump onto your feet after your literal crash landing only to find Kate and Peter in the middle of fighting Green Goblin. A part of you screams to run and find your mom but then Osborn kicks Kate’s bow out of her hand and your body reacts faster than your mind can even comprehend.

“Hey, asshole!” You shoot a web at his leg and yank him backward. “Get your hands off of her.”

He stumbles but doesn’t fall the way you anticipated. Instead, he turns to look at you, that chilling smirk still plastered on his face. “What is it with you Parkers and your savior complex?”

Your first instinct is to run at him but you catch the archer’s look as she runs to help a badly injured Peter. If it’s a distraction she needs, that’s exactly what you’ll provide.

“It’s part of our charming personality.”

You shrug and shoot at him again, managing to pull his focus toward the barrage of webs you send his way.

You expect to keep him occupied until Peter and Kate catch their breath but instead, May rushes out of the stairway, a bleeding Yelena trailing behind her, and she injects the so-called cure into the back of Osborn’s neck.

The cure doesn’t work. All it does is send the Green Goblin into a fit of rage.

You urge May to run in between Osborn’s taunts directed mainly at you and Peter. She doesn’t listen and you’re too distracted to notice the deadly glider that hovers just outside the window.

By the time Kate warns you it’s too late.

The blast it creates when it crashes in sends you flying onto the ground. All the air gets knocked out of your lungs from the impact but you don’t get time to lay there and recover.

You somehow manage to get back onto your feet right as Osborn sends a bomb flying your way. You just barely manage to web it and throw it to the side before it goes off, sending bits of debris raining down onto all of you.

There’s the distinct sound of Kate’s boots running toward you, Yelena’s Russian curse words, and a part of you that tells you to go check on May. There’s no chance in hell that you’re letting Green Goblin get away though so you swallow down your pain from aching joints and bleeding cuts and run after him.

You arrive outside just in time to watch him throw another bomb that you’re too slow to stop.

The explosion throws you back onto the ground and you groan as you land on a piece of glass. You’re breathless and bleeding and it’s only then that the guilt crashes into you at once.

This time, your attempt to stand is far less balanced and you stumble onto a familiar frame. “Hey, hey, easy. There’s no rush, babe.”

You happily accept Kate’s embrace, the familiarity of her comforting touch soothing some of your pain. “You okay?”

“Yeah, nothing some band-aids and a nap won’t fix.”

Hearing the usual humor in her tone brings you back to reality…which brings your mind back to your mom and the way you so recklessly rushed outside without knowing if she was injured. “How about Peter and May? They okay?”

Your girlfriend’s silence never means anything good and in this context, it makes your heart drop to your stomach in an instant. You’re about to question her again when Yelena’s voice stops you.

“We need to get out of here before the cops arrive…again.”

You push your injured body away from Kate’s, searching for the answer you don’t want to hear. “Kate…”

“I’m sorry.” She avoids your eyes as she responds. “Peter tried but it was already too late. She’s gone, y/n.”

You don’t hear anything she says after that.

It’s strange the way the world slows to a stop around you while your overwhelmed brain tries to process the Earth-shattering information. Strange how a second ago everything seemed to make sense and now you’re left gasping for breath, reaching for answers you know don’t matter.

The how, the why, the what. None of that matters.

May is dead.

And there’s nothing you could have done to stop it despite the powers, and the gadgets, and the hours of training.

You didn’t even get to say goodbye before she-

“y/n, it’s not your fault.”

“Listen to Kate Bishop, she’s finally right for once.”

“Hey!”

Their attempt to comfort you turns into chaotic bickering but you don’t pay attention to their words. You can’t think about anything except the gaping hole in your chest that had once been full of May’s knowing looks and thoughtful words.

Kate’s right.

It’s not your fault. Or May’s. Or even Peter’s. There’s only one man to blame for this.

And you’re sure as hell going to make him regret his choice to mess with your family.

“y/n.” Kate’s voice manages to cut through the hate-filled fog that’s starting to cover your mind. “y/n, don’t.”

You don’t listen to her words, you don’t even take in the way she so easily knows what you’re thinking, you just do what you’ve always done: keep moving.

You successfully escape your girlfriend’s embrace and start running. You’re not sure where you’re going or how you’re going to find him but the plan will come later. Right now, you just need to do something before the grief consumes you.

Kate yells after you but there’s no way she’ll be able to chase after you. Especially once you start swinging from building to building.

The hours pass by in between blurs of rain, tears, and the occasional wall you end up crashing into. Your phone blows up with missed calls and countless texts but you don’t care.

The entire world could crash and burn without you for all you care. The light within your own world has already been extinguished.

Your search ends up leading you right to the Statue of Liberty where you’re not at all surprised to find a chaotic battle going on. Maybe you should have checked your phone to get caught up with the plan but that doesn’t matter.

What does matter is that you’ve finally found what you’ve been looking for. And your mind is dead-set on your objective.

You ignore the rest of the fights going on, including the look of pain and relief on Kate’s face once she sees you swing past her, and hone in on Peter.

You're still bleeding and there's a sharp pain in your leg you can't ignore but your injuries don't matter. All that matters is avenging May.

You land next to Peter without a word, the venom in your eyes saying more than your voice could. You're both fighting for the same thing but you have no doubt he's still pulling his punches.

Something you have no intention of doing.

“Well, well, well, look who decided to join the fun,” Green Goblin taunts. “Too tired of running after your dead parents?”

“Shut your mouth,” you reply as you step toward him. “You don't know what you're talking about.”

That only makes him laugh. “Trust me, pain makes you stronger. You'll see, all I have to do is take away your pretty little girlfriend next and you'll understand.”

There's no hesitation left in your body once you hear those words.

You lunge forward, tackling Osborn to the ground. That stupid smirk doesn't leave his face even while you rain down punches on him.

“Come on! Is that all you can do? What's the point of two Spider-Idiots if one is too weak to fight?”

You know he's only taunting you. Trying to push your buttons and get you to break. Too bad that's exactly what you want to do.

Every time he pushes you back, you kick him back twice as hard. You stumble and get punched in the face enough times to make your ears ring but you don't dare stop.

You don't even think.

You just punch and punch and punch until Osborn’s on the ground, his witty mouth finally silent.

Seeing him like this only serves to remind you of what you've lost, of the pain that's taken hold of your every thought and move. You lift your hand to shoot a web at his forgotten glider when a voice stops you dead in your tracks.

“y/n?”

The mere sound of your name coming out of Kate’s mouth in that desperate tone is enough to make your breath catch in your throat. You already know what she's going to say so you speak up first. “I have to.”

“No, you don't. You've done enough, okay? You can walk away.”

You look down at your hands, at the bloody mess you've left behind, and the tears start falling before you can stop them.

The hand that pulls you up doesn't belong to the archer but it's full of an understanding only Yelena could be capable of. “Go on, Spider-Boy and I got this.”

You nod, too numb and overwhelmed to fully accept the weight of what you've done. Of what you almost did.

“Kate?” You call out as you finally turn around to face her.

“I’m right here.” She greets you with the same soft look and warm smile you fell in love with, nothing but compassion in her gaze.

You all but collapse into her waiting arms, your shoulders slumped as you finally give in to the all-consuming grief that lingers in every breath you take.

The sounds of the chaos around you fades into nothingness.

All you can hear is Kate's soft reassurances and the steady beat of her heart. You don't need anything else than that right now. Despite how strong the urge for revenge had been.

You just need your girlfriend…and a long nap.

Peter watches the scene with a small, albeit sad, smile on his face. There's a weight on his chest that even fixing his mistakes won't take away.

But at least he knows you won't be alone. The spell will make you and everyone else he loves forget about him but at least you'll still have Kate.

It'll be hard but he has no doubt you'll be able to rebuild and find the light inside of yourself that May always believed was there. Flickering underneath all the pain of your past.

Now you and Kate can shine together.

Without him and the chaos he unnecessarily brought into your life.

#kate bishop x reader #kate bishop x female reader #kate bishop x y/n #kate bishop x you #kate bishop fic #kate bishop fanfiction #kate bishop #yelena belova #peter parker #hawkeye #black widow #spiderman #hawkeye fanfic #marvel #marvel fanfiction #mcu #wlw fic #wlw #writing

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upon-a-starry-night · 6 months

Text

Number Neighbors Pt.11

Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader

Natasha Masterlist Series Masterlist

Word Count: 982

Summary: When you catch sight of the newest trend going around you know you’re all but bound to at least try it, it was harmless anyway. What could possibly stem from something so little?

Note: This story does not follow the MCU timeline exactly

---

When you got home you immediately called your mom to tell her about Leon. You explained your whole day and how you felt a new surge in energy and determination just from one date- could you even call it a date? It felt like one.

Your mother was happy for you but in true mother fashion, she urged you to be cautious and not jump into things too quickly. You assured her you would be careful but you couldn’t help but wish she was a little more excited for you.

After all, it was so hard for you to make friends let alone find someone interested in you, this guy was like a dream come true.

He wasn’t Captain America-level hot but he made up for it with personality

In hopes of receiving a warmer response- and not because you missed her or anything- you broke your silent streak and texted Nat the good news.

Nat didn’t know what to do when you texted her that you wished you could hear her voice. Part of her was scared at just how eager she was to give in to your request, how keen she was to hear your voice, how close she’d been to hitting that call button that haunted her day in and day out.

But you would know.

You knew what The Black Widow sounded like, you’d watched her interviews, you would recognize her voice and that would complicate things.

Would you be mad at her for not telling you?

Would you be weirded out?

Would you give out her number?

She didn’t think you were the kind of person who would do that but it was in her nature to be cautious of everyone and everything. She knew it was probably hurting you that she wasn’t comfortable enough to talk to you but she was scared and that scared her.

She was The Black Widow for fucks sake, she didn’t get scared, especially not of…well you.

At least that’s what she was trying to convince herself.

Because maybe deep down she knew that she’d already let you in more than she’d meant to.

Deep down she knew she cared about you, and caring was a weakness.

So she spent her Sunday in the training room working off her frustration and she went on her mission and let it consume her mind. She tried to ignore the concerned looks Steve would give her, and the curious ones Clint would throw her way. It was hard being around people who knew you so well.

Both men had noticed the change in her, from someone who wasn’t very interested in social media to suddenly texting every day. They had tried to coax it out of her but she wasn’t ready to share you with anyone yet, let alone admit that she had grown attached to someone. She was sure both men would scold her for trusting someone over text but she was smart and she did her research on you.

She knew the school you graduated from, the business where you worked, the name of your first pet. She was thorough and although the rest of The Avengers never underestimated her, it seemed like sometimes they forgot how prepared she was in every situation.

Every situation but this one it seemed. Emotions were not her forte.

So she let you go silent because she didn’t know what else to do, a part of her was worried as time went on that you weren’t going to text her ever again but come Saturday evening her phone pinged with a notification and her heart skipped a beat at the familiar ice cream emoji that popped up.

She refused to acknowledge just how fast she opened her phone and clicked on the message.

However, her anticipation and relief were quickly replaced by a pit in her stomach as she read and re-read your text.

Y/n🍦:

I met a guy!

Nat recognized the feeling in her chest as the same one that she’d felt when she’d met Peter and Wanda. There was an initial protectiveness over their naivety and kindness.

She felt something akin to that now and she didn’t know why.

Perhaps it was because you were a young woman living alone in New York and it was her job to protect people like you. But a deeper part of her recognized that wasn’t the case.

She was worried about you, she had missed you, and while she had been brooding about if you’d ever talk to her again you’d been out meeting new people.

She knew she didn’t have a right to be upset though. It was her who’d made you upset. She never texted first. She tried to be reserved.

And you texted her with so much excitement.

She couldn’t bring herself to ruin your joy- or your silent forgiveness of her actions.

Y/n🍦:

Nat🔪:

Like an actual guy or?

Y/n🍦:

Har-Har

I talk to real people you know

Nat🔪:

Yes, the tennis ball and basketball

with googly eyes.

They are very real Y/n, I know.

Y/n🍦:

Someone had extra sassy juice today

Nat🔪:

Well I own the company

I have to taste-test the products

Y/n🍦:

Well for your information

This volley-ball with eyes

is cute and wears a leather jacket

Nat🔪:

Hold on- Why do I hear faint music playing

in the background?

Oh wait, my limbs are moving on their own.

I feel a dance coming on

Y/n🍦:

You ass!

He’s very real!

His name is Leon.

Nat🔪:

Leon backward is Noel

You met a Christmas elf.

Congratulations.

Tell Santa I said hi!

Y/n🍦:

OkAy but really-

Can I tell you about him?

Pleeeease?

Nat🔪:

You can tell me anything, Y/n.

Anytime.

You had no idea just how true that statement was. Even if Nat didn’t care about the topic she would listen to you for hours if it made you happy.

Pt.12

She's back! and sassier than ever! But how will Y/n and Nat interact with this third person entering the story?~ Starry

~Taglist~

@marvelwomen-simp @cd-4848 @wandanatlov3r @rebeltombraider @ctrlamira @fxckmiup @aliherreraaa @natsxwife @la-douler-ne-finite-jamais @romanoffsgal @moistblobfish @natashaswife4125 @elenimoris @how-to-disappearrr @screechcat @toouncreativeforausername @ordelixx

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selfcarecap · 2 years

Text

Transparent Soul [p.p]

Pairing: Peter Parker x ghost!reader

Summary: You’ve been a ghost for nearly a year now, but your new friend Peter makes you feel more human than ever before. You fall in love with him hard and fast and you know he has the power to turn you back into a human, but you only have one chance. Is he really the right person?

Warnings: semi-suicidal thought for like ten seconds, a few mentions of depression, post nwh, mentions of death and dead parents and a car crash, but i promise it’s not a sad fic 💀, smut (no ghost smut </3, oral, f masturbation, finger sucking, protected vaginal sex), little bit of angst, this fic’s timeline vs mcu timeline is a bit wonky but we’ll ignore that <3 (—> peter is college age)

Word Count: um. 13k

Happy Halloween!! Finally managed to write a Halloween fic lol, I hope you enjoy ghost!reader <3

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

One of the things you hate most about being a ghost is not being able to touch anything. Your hand floats right through whatever you try to touch.

You’d give everything to finally pet the cat that you always hang out with on the fire escape of an apartment building in New York. She’s a black cat with piercing yellow eyes and despite being a stray, her fur looks as soft as anything and you keep each other company around this block of houses, though you prefer the one you’re currently on.

You could call this house your home, but you don‘t live in it. You‘re a ghost,. You have no need for an apartment. You just observe the people who live here, without ever interacting with them.

From experience you know that people don‘t react nicely to a ghost, unlike your cat friend. You’ve decided to call her Lucky, simply because you feel Lucky to have her. She’s the only friend you’ve made since becoming a ghost.

Lucky doesn‘t seem to care that you‘re a ghost, or maybe she doesn‘t even know. She always hangs out with you on this fire escape and stays with you for hours. Sometimes the brown-haired boy in apartment 7A leaves his leftovers out for her. You‘re glad someone‘s taking care of her - not that you‘ve ever seen him pet her. But he leaves food for her anyway.

Lucky has decided to leave you for the night - probably anoyed that you won’t pet her no matter how many times she tries to rub her head against your leg, only to be confused because she can’t actually touch you.

You’re visible, but just barely. A faint picture of the human you used to be, anyone could see you, but they would immediately realise that you’re not human, with your transluscent skin and hair and clothes.

You can choose to make yourself fullly invisible though, and it’s how you spend most of your days. Otherwise you’d only be met with fear and malice.

You make yourself invisible as soon as you see the boy from 7A swinging through the streets. Oh, have you forgot to mention? He’s Spider-Man.

You watch him as he makes sure no one sees him climbing into the window of his apartment. He closes the window behind himself and you look away when he changes into his pyjamas.

He’s barely home, always out late being Spider-Man and leaving early in the morning, you assume for work or college - you’ve seen him studying at his desk. He never has friends over and you wonder if he’s as lonely as you are or if he just meets people somewhere else.

You’ve been wanting to talk to him for a while. You’re hesitant because ever since you’ve been a ghost no human has ever reacted positively to you, but Spider-Man could be different.

He’s Spider-Man. An Avenger. If he’s fought a purple alien with a magic glove, then maybe he won’t be too creeped out by a ghost.

You don‘t want to put all of your trust and hope into him but he‘ll be the first person you talk to in months, so it is a big deal no matter how much you try to convince yourself of the opposite.

You‘ve tried to talk to people before, only to leave them traumatised or calling an exorcist and you had to find a new home again. You like this house. It‘s not in the nicest area but the people who live here are fun to observe and you‘d like to stay here, so you can only hope Spider-Man won‘t make you leave.

The thought of talking to him makes you so nervous though, so you’ll give yourself some time before you do it.

The next day, you’re sitting by the fire escape where you always sit.

It’s dark already and not a lot of people are out during this Thursday winter night, so you’re just sitting (well, floating) with your legs dangling off the railing. You’re not bothering to make yourself invisible - no one would see you here anyway.

You’re looking out for Lucky to come and join you, but she’s not here tonight, so you’re just listening to New York’s noises.

And then everything happens so quickly.

You turn your head and you see Spider-Man. You weren’t expecting him to come home yet and you’re too surprised to remember to make yourself invisible. Before you know it, he lands right next to you and you hear a loud and shocked “Oh” from him.

You make yourself invisible but it’s too late, he’s already seen you, so you become visible again. This is your chance to make a friend.

You don’t have a heart, but if you did it would be hammering against your ribcage at full speed. You don’t know what to say but the good news is he’s still here. He hasn’t told you to leave yet.

He just looks a little scared, with his forearms pulled tight to his chest. You can’t read his expression because he still has his mask on.

“Hi,” is all that comes out of your mouth. You haven’t really used your voice much but it sounds surprisingly normal.

He doesn’t reply. “Are you.. are you Spider-Man?” You ask, even though it’s obvious. But you don’t know what else to say. It’s hard to start a conversation when you don’t know if the other person is about to call an exorcist.

He replies with a shaky voice. “Yeah, I am. And, uh, and you are?”

You tell him your name and he nodds politely, still unsure.

“Yeah. I’m a ghost,” you smile slightly.

He relaxes a little, “Oh, I thought so. I wanted to ask but I didn’t know if it was like, uh offensive.”

You laugh and it feels so unfamiliar, “Well, I’m not offended.”

He smiles at you and you smile back, but you don’t know what to say. You’ve forgotten how to talk to people. You wait for him to say something and your (metaphorical) heart sinks with every second that he remains silent and fidgets with his hands instead. It would help if you could at least see his face.

You decide to just be honest. This conversation isn’t going anywhere else.

“I uh, I‘ve been in this house for a while and usually people um. They don‘t react nicely when they see me, so I mostly keep to myself. But then I saw you and I remembered seeing you on the news with the Avengers so if.. if you‘ve been with them then I assumed a ghost wouldn’t be the craziest thing you‘ve ever seen so uh..”

He hasn’t taken off his mask but you think you can see him smiling. It seems as if your explanation is enough for him to deem you harmless, as if he realised that you’re right, he has seen scarier things. What’s a ghost going to do to him?

“It‘s cold out here, do you wanna come in?” His words surprise you and you don’t remember the last time you smiled as widely as you do when he opens the window to his one-room apartment.

“I don’t have any feeling in my body so I can’t feel the cold but, uh, yeah. Thanks. I’ll come in.”

Maybe he just doesn’t value his life very much and that’s why he’s letting you, a stranger who is also a ghost, in his room. But maybe he just sees you. Maybe he sees that you just don’t want to be alone, and that you’re harmless.

You try not to overthink it too much. Maybe he’s just letting you in his room to try and kill you, but you feel good about him. So good that you almost forget you’re not a normal human with feelings who lives a normal human life.

He lets you in first but you float through the wall instead of ducking down to get through the window like he does behind you.

“Woah,” Spider-Man says, grinning. He looks you up and down, as if he’s just now noticing that you’re floating a few inches above the floor. You sit down to hover over his bed as he closes his window.

“So, are the movies about ghosts quite accurate then?” He turns around to ask you, and casually pulls his mask off - probably out of habit from when he comes home. He freezes for a second and then presses the mask over his face. He quickly turns away from you to slip it over his head again, mumbling something under his breath.

“I uh.. I’ve seen your face before but… it’s your choice of course.”

“Oh,” he says.

“I have no interest in exposing your identity,” you say, “It’s not like anyone would believe a ghost anyway,” you add sadly, looking down when you remember that this is not a normal, human, interaction.

“I don’t have much to do so I just like to people watch and uh, I’ve seen you in here with your mask off, so…” You explain, hoping he’ll trust you. Honesty is all you have.

When you look up, Spider-Man has pulled his mask off and smiles softly at you. You know he has no reason to trust you, doesn’t even owe it to you to talk to you. But he does it anyway, and he stretches his hand out, “I’m Peter, by the way.”

It’s nice to finally have a name for the boy from 7A. You reach for his hand out of instinct before you remember that you can’t take it. “Oh, uh, I can’t,” you say as you pull your hand back.

He stares at you for a second before he seems to understand and pulls his arm back too, “Oh, sorry, sorry.”

“It’s okay. I forget it too sometimes.”

Peter looks at you curiously, curiously and nothing else, and you realise then that you forgot how it feels to have someone look at you without fear or hate. But you can tell he’s still getting used to talking to a ghost, so you try to start the conversation.

“The movies are quite accurate.”

“Huh?”

“You asked if the ghost movies are accurate. I think the most obvious things are true. You’re a floating nothing that can go through walls,” you chuckle, trying not to think of how shitty it feels to live your life that way.

He smiles and sits down on the bed with you, “Have you always been a ghost?”

The question makes your nonexistant heart ache and Peter must see it on your face, quickly adding, “You don’t have to talk about it, of course.”

“It’s okay,” you say. You take a deep breath and think for a moment. Then, you tell him your story.

You tell him how you were in a car crash with your family right when Thanos made half of the world’s population disappear. You turned into dust just as you were about to die.

When you came back five years later, your family was dead. You always assumed you were just on the brink of death when Thanos snapped his fingers, and the universe couldn’t decide whether to let you live or not, so now you’re somewhere in between. But sometimes, you’d rather be dead.

Peter has tears in his eyes by the time you’re done speaking. You can tell that he’s speechless, and you’re not expecting him to say anything.

“Wow… I’m so sorry,” is all he says.

“I try to see the positive side of things. At least I got another chance at life, not many people do. It’s not really like this life has been worth living but.. maybe I just haven’t figured out how to be a good ghost yet.”

You decide not to tell him how depressed you’ve really been. You haven’t ever talked about what happened, and this was hard enough to talk about. Although it does feel better, finally getting your story off your chest. You remember that you’re telling all your secrets to a stranger, but you already know his biggest secret too, so it’s fair.

“I know I’m not a ghost, so I’m not saying I understand but… I think I kind of understand.”

He tells you about his dead parents, then his dead aunt. He tells you about parallel universes and losing all of his friends. He tells you how everyone had to forget him.

He keeps saying that he knows how crazy it sounds, but it really happened. You assure him that you don’t doubt a single thing he says. Who are you to decide what really happened and what didn’t, when you’re a literal ghost.

He doesn’t tell you how depressed and lonely he is either, but it’s obvious. You assume it’s also obvious to him how sad you are. Maybe you don’t need to say it - you understand each other wordlessly.

He’s careful to not sound like he’s implying that he fully understands you. He’s not a ghost, so of course he can’t. But at the core, you’re the same. You’re alone and you’re lonely.

Yes, he has the chance to make new friends and you don’t, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re both lonely, both suffering.

He’s choked up by the time he’s done talking and you don’t know he’s managed to not break down sobbing yet.

You’re both quiet for a while after he’s finished talking. You can’t say anything to make it better, so you don’t try. You’re here, and that’s more than he’s had in a while.

“Wow, you could have stopped me there,” Peter smiles awkwardly, “Look at me oversharing. Sorry.”

“You and me both,” you say, giving him a reassuring smile, “And it’s okay to cry, by the way. I wish I could.”

“You can’t cry?” He asks, his eyes red and wet, but he’s not crying yet.

“I can’t. I feel things inside, I have feelings and emotions like everyone else. But there’s nothing physical. I don’t eat or sleep or cry. If you touch me I won’t feel it. You won’t either. It’s all just on the inside, and I have the urge to cry sometimes, but I just literally can’t. I’d give everything to cry again. So, please, cry. I can leave if you need time.”

“No no, no,” he wipes his tears away and smiles bashfully at being so eager. He has no idea that you’re even more eager to be spending time together.

You get the feeling he needs the company as much as you do. He just told you how he lost everything. Your situations are so similar it‘s nearly scary. So if you need him, you know he needs you too.

He asks more questions about you being a ghost - more light-hearted ones, and you happily answer them all. The soul-crushing loneliness aside, there are a few cool things about being a ghost.

You can go anywhere you want, without being seen. You don’t have to be scared of men when you’re out late at night, if anything, men would be scared of you. You may or may not have scared some creepy men on purpose before.

There’s one question Peter hasn’t asked yet, but you know he wants to. Instead of making him ask, you just ask him if he wants to touch you. He grins at your offer and you hold out your arm for him to touch it.

His hand goes right through you when he tries to touch you, and he’s as giddy as a child being told they can have some candy. You can tell that he thinks it’s cool.

You like that you’re making Peter smile and laugh and even talking to someone is making you happier than you’ve been in months. But deep down it also makes you sad. You can’t even touch Peter’s hand, let alone hug him, or hold him.

You try to ignore those thoughts though. Being with Peter is still better than all the months you’ve spent alone since you became a ghost.

You know it will make him laugh, so you reach right through his chest, your arm going right through him. And even though there’s still a general sadness within you, Peter is making you so happy right now.

Even though you’re talking about being a ghost, and showing him how not-human you are, even though you’re a floating thing of light that doesn’t feel like it’s there, he makes you feel the most human emotion there is. It’s not love, you’ve only known him a few hours. But you just like him. Maybe you’re just emotionally starved, and you’d like anyone who would give you the time of day, but you can’t feel the difference.

You enjoy spending time with him. You get along well. And it’s making you feel like you could stay with him and talk with him forever. He’s making you feel like you actually have a heart. And your heart is telling you that Peter is a good soul, someone to keep in your life, who deserves all the happiness in the world.

He’s making you feel like a normal person, with normal human emotions. He’s making you forget about all the loss and the loneliness. And it’s all you’ve been asking for since you turned into a ghost.

Being with Peter is wonderful.

You talk through the whole night and it doesn’t even cross your mind that you won’t be able to talk to him forever. He doesn’t realise this either until the sun rises and the streets are bright again.

“Oh my god, it’s so late, well, early,” he looks at his phone, “Shit, I have to go to class like. Right now.”

You watch him pick up a few things and he stuffs them into his bag, sticking his toothbrush in his mouth while he gets ready.

“I uh, I’ll go then,” you call out to him while he’s getting ready. He’s stressed and you don’t want to add to it.

“Wait,” he stops you, “I need to see you again. Uh, I mean, do you want to hang out again later?”

You grin, “Yeah, I’d love to.”

He grins too, unable to look at you, “Okay, where will you be?”

“I’ll be at the fire escape when you come home. Same time as yesterday?”

“Yes. But you can also stay in here, just if you want to.”

“I might. Thanks. Now go and get ready and don’t worry about me.”

He’s gone two minutes later and you’re already looking forward to when he comes back. You go on a walk, the longest route you can think of, to distract yourself.

Peter comes home earlier than he said and seems surprised that you’re there.

“Hi,” you say, getting up from his bed and floating over to him. It’s not like you could hug him hello, but you still want to be close, “How was your day?”

“Hi, it was good, yeah. I’ll tell you later but I uh. Just… just so you know, I didn’t fully express how much I enjoyed last night. If I’m honest, while I was at work I thought maybe I just hallucinated you. Because you’re too good to be true because we just get on so well and also because I’ve never met a ghost before so I didn’t know if you were real,” you both laugh, “But now you’re here again and I‘m just so happy that we met. And that we got along so well and just.. yeah. I really need a friend.”

You don’t know what to say yet, so you just grin. You feel the same, even after one day. Sometimes time doesn’t mean a thing and you just recognise a good soul. Both of you did.

“I just really wish I could hug you right now,” you say, your voice sounds like you’re about to cry but you know it won’t happen.

“We can try,” Peter suggests quietly.

“Okay.”

You both take a step forward and put your arms around each other, but you don’t feel anything. It’s awkward for both of you and you leaned in to much so you’re half standing in Peter.

You decide not to do that again, but your heart breaks; you can’t even pretend to hug someone.

He tells you about his classes and work. He’s college age but after everything that happened to him and with everyone forgetting him, has to redo his general education test. You know he’s smart and doesn’t have to go to classes, but he says he wanted to make some friends there. He hasn’t so far because he’s still too sad and mostly keeps to himself, but he’ll get there eventually.

Even if he hasn’t made friends in class, he’s made a friend at his home. You will never be far.

Even though you don’t mean to, you start talking again for what feels like hours. Before it really becomes hours though, you tell him to go to sleep. He keeps interrupting himself with a yawn and the circles under his eyes are getting darker by the minute.

“I can’t sleep now. I wanna talk to you,” he says and your figurative heart swells.

“I’m not going anywhere. We can still talk tomorrow,” you smile. You reach out to caress his face but pull your hand back when you remember you can’t. You will never get used to it.

He smiles tiredly, “Okay. Will you stay here?”

Before you can answer he adds, “It-it’s obviously okay if not.”

“I’ll stay.”

He sleeps on the left side of his twin bed even though you don’t need any room. You pretend to cuddle him while he sleeps but you’re always floating a few inches too far away from him or end up floating into him.

Becoming Peter’s friend has made you the happiest you’ve been since you became a ghost, but you’ve never been sadder to not be human. To not be able to touch him, to hold his hand, to hug him.

You go outside to float in front of his window, only to find Lucky meowing on the fire escape and you’re once again reminded that you can’t pet her and can’t show her love how you want to. You wonder why she stays with you. You can’t give her food, water or shelter, and not even cuddles.

You go back inside when you hear Peter mumbling something in his sleep. He’s told you about his nightmares and you’ll wake him up if he seems upset. But you think it’s just a normal dream, so you let him sleep.

Peter takes you to the movie theatre the next day while you make yourself invisible. You’ve always thought about doing stuff like this since you’ve had the ability to get into any place unnoticed, but you knew you’d see happy families and friends and couples and would have felt like an outsider.

Now you’re not alone anymore.

“Did you have a bad dream last night? You were talking and moving a bit in your sleep.” You ask him while you walk home through dark empty alleys. You don’t have to make yourself invisible here and people won’t think he’s crazy talking to himself.

“Oh, I…” his cheeks turn red, “No, no. But I wanted to ask you something. Since you told me you just go watch people in our building sometimes. So do you, uh, do you see people having sex a lot?” He laughs shyly.

“I see more people masturbating. I never intentionally watch, but you’d be surprised just how many people do it before going to bed,” you throw him a pointed look and suddenly he seems to find the floor really interesting, “I’d never watch you on purpose, but you do it so much,” you laugh.

“Jeez, okay,” he puts his hands up in defense and looks away from you completely with an embarrassed grin.

You laugh and bump your shoulder against his, forgetting you can’t and walking through him for a second. You’re grateful he’s still not looking.

“Don’t be embarrassed. I wish I could do it. I mean, I can’t even touch myself.”

His eyes meet yours and he smiles, and his blush slowly disappears.

You can’t feel the temperature but just looking at Peter makes you cold. He could go as Rudolph for Halloween with a nose as red as that. All the trees have turned different shades of orange, red and yellow and you ask Peter to take you somewhere livelier where you can look at the change of the season in real time.

You’re invisible again when you get into the lit up streets with more people, but it’s like Peter can always tell where you are. You two don’t say much, but he smiles at you every now and then, and he’s looking right at you even though you know he can’t see you. But he can feel you.

It makes you want to cry.

You stay out well into the night even though it’s too dark to appreciate the colour on the trees. But that doesn’t matter to you. You haven’t spent time more than a block away from Peter’s building in months. Now that you have someone else to go with, it’s all different.

You can’t help but think how much more beautiful it would all be if you were a human with an actual life. If you could have more friends. If you could go out and be seen and not have to worry about people freaking out or about being hunted down if someone sees you.

But for the moment you’re also happy that you have Peter. You always will be. Maybe it was meant to be. You both lost your life, in one way or another, and found each other.

You become best friends over the next few weeks. You knew it was going to happen from the first time you talked for hours, but having a friend is even nicer than you remembered. It feels like your life is worth living again.

You’re actually doing things these days. You have things to look forward to. You have someone to talk to, someone who sees you, someone who accepts you even though, from the outside, you’re just a bit of not-quite-invisible air.

Peter sees your soul, he sees you as a person, but nevertheless he loves you just how you are, no matter how much you hate the state you have to be in forever.

He told you he loves you so early it could be considered rushed, but you couldn’t deny that you feel it too. Maybe it’s all going faster because you’re both starved for love, and for human connection. And maybe that’s okay. You’ve found a true friendship with him, and it has saved both your lives.

You’re not living how you’d wish to, but now that you have Peter, at least you can consider your existence a life. You forgot how much joy other people can bring you, and you’re lucky that Peter turned out to be one of the good ones.

Even though your life has gotten more exciting, and you’re doing more, you probably still prefer being in Peter’s one-room-apartment, just being yourself and talking for hours. You’ve known each other for months now and it feels like you could talk for all the years to come.

When it’s just the two of you, you can just be you. You don’t have to make yourself invisible, and you can’t imagine how weird it must be for Peter to be best friends with a ghost, so you appreciate him even more. Deep down you’re as human as anyone else, but you look far from it.

There are times when Peter forgets. When you’re thinking of getting food, he asks what you want, then he quickly apologises when he realises that you can’t eat, but you’re never mad at him. You still forget it yourself. You forget it even more now.

But while you love your long talks with Peter, about the most profound things, and more often the most meaningless things, what’s special about him is that you don’t have to talk. You can just be.

It’s not awkward when you’re both silent; it feels like the purest form of human connection. You just love him and he loves you. And he’s the best and most important friend you’ve ever had.

It’s not an ideal life, but for a ghost, it’s not too bad.

Peter is hesitant when he asks you to come to his job with him. You think it’s because he doesn’t want you to see what you’re missing out on - talking to people without them freaking out, having a normal life.

But you doubt you’ll be jealous of Peter having to work, plus you’ve always wondered what his workplace looks like. He started off working at a food place, but now he’s got a part-time office job that is less exhausting and pays better.

He says he doesn’t really have friends at his job, only a few colleagues that he’s friendly with, so you don’t think it will make you depressed again to see how he can talk to people when you can’t. You have Peter - a true friend - so why would you be jealous of some shallow and forced office friendships.

You’re just grateful you don’t have to sit around all day until Peter comes home. He’s taken you to class with him once, but you realised just how glad you are to be done with anything related to school and went home early.

He takes you to his work on a Friday, which he says is always the best day. Everyone’s happier because the weekend is close and Peter’s day ends a few hours earlier so he can take you to a street market around the corner after work. You won’t be able to buy anything, but you like looking.

When you’re with Peter, you always enjoy yourself.

The office isn’t far from Peter’s place, so you walk there. You make yourself invisible the first time you see another person and prepare to stay like that all day.

You’re excited to see where Peter spends hours nearly every day, but it’s nothing you didn’t expect. It’s simply an office. But he seems comfortable here and it makes you happy.

You know he’s struggled with money all his life, especially now with no financial support from anyone. Knowing that he makes enough money here to pay for his apartment and maybe even a few nice things every now and then — and it’s not even a full time job — makes you happy for him.

He shouldn’t have to work a day in his life, or at least get paid for being Spider-Man, but there are worse jobs than this, and there are apartments more expensive than his, especially in New York.

He jokes around with a few colleagues and once they’re gone he whispers their names to you. He’s told you about them before and it’s nice to finally put faces to the names. Peter smiles at you even though he can’t see you, but he’s looking right at you every time.

You get bored after the first hour and Peter tells you to do what you want, and you want to go outside.

You walk around a bit, observing people and the tiny moments of their life that you can witness. You wish you were like them.

It starts raining and you rush down the stairs into a subway station. It always feels weird when you’re walking through the rain and you can’t feel any of the raindrops.

You haven’t been at this station in ages - you had no reason to. You watch one train stop and go again, and suddenly you have the urge to go explore. You’ve never taken the time to notice what the underground tunnels look like - not on foot, anyway.

You follow the next train from one station to the next, and you follow it for two more stations. It’s exhilarating how you’re on the tracks but the train can’t hurt you. You don’t have to be scared.

You stop following the train as you take a right at a junction. A different train passes through you, and you walk through another station. At some point though, it’s all quiet. You realise that no train has passed you in twenty minutes, and you have no idea how far you’ve gone.

Suddenly, you notice how dark it is. There are no lights at all except at the end of the tunnel, but it seems so far away. You turn around to go back. You know there is nothing to be scared of. If anyone’s here, they can’t see you, they can’t hurt you.

Despite having no lungs, you feel out of breath as you rush back to where you came from - where you can see light. Your head snaps back when you hear something dripping behind you, then a few taps.

You stop in your tracks - you can’t tell where the noise is coming from. You close your eyes and count how long you think it would take for a deep breath.

When you open your eyes, the light is gone. It’s pitch black. You wish Peter was here to help you. How far from him are you? What if you won’t see him again? You don’t know how to get out of here.

You remember you can float through anything, and you can just go upwards, and you’ll end on some New York street. But when you try, you’ve suddenly lost all sense of direction. It’s like you’re underwater, deep, and no matter how far up you float, you just won’t reach the surface.

Not knowing what else to do, you keep going, anywhere. You’ll get back somehow, you have to.

Then, a door appears in front of you, light coming from behind it. You touch the handle and before you open the door, you’re in a room, sitting on a pillow.

You feel at home immediately. It’s like a spa for your brain. Comfy furniture and decorations, you can barely see the white of the walls. They’re covered in tapestry and spiritual ornaments.

Suddenly, there’s a woman in front of you, sitting on the carpeted floor. She doesn’t look human, but she’s not a ghost like you either. You’re not sure if she’s even real. She’s ethereal.

It crosses your mind for a second that you’ve overused your abilities as a ghost, and you’ve ended up in heaven after being hit by a subway train. Maybe God is sitting in front of you.

When she opens her eyes, it feels like a privilege to look into them, but when she looks right back at you, you realise you never made yourself visible again. How can she see you?

She chuckles, and it’s like an angelic whisper. “Don’t worry, you’re still disguised. It’s just me who can see you like this. It’s okay, my darling. What are you here for?”

You take a few moments to answer. “I.. I didn’t come here for anything. I was just going for a walk and then ended up here. I don’t know how.”

The woman smiles. “That’s what they all say. But no one wanders down the subway tracks if they’re happy with their life. So, what can I do for you?”

“I don’t.. understand. Who are you?”

“There is nothing to understand. You’re overthinking it. Who I am is not important. Now tell me your biggest wish, currently.”

She smiled kindly as you try to process it. The more she looks at you, the more you trust her. Against your own wish to not expose your deepest desires in front of a stranger, you answer. “I want to be human again. I want to live a normal life. With other people. And I want to be able to cry, and to feel touch.”

“Ah,” she quietly laughs to herself, “I could have guessed that myself. You see, my love, what you need is a kiss from the one you love. And it will turn you back. But you get only one try, so choose wisely. Make sure it’s the right person.”

All of a sudden, you can’t help but laugh. You get what’s going on. You’ve ended up in the den of a crackhead or a homeless person who watched too many Disney films growing up.

What are you doing, telling her about yourself?

She smiles at you warmly even after you laugh right in her face, and suddenly you feel bad. She might be out of her mind, but she seems kind.

You open your mouth, but when you blink you’re standing in front of Peter’s office building. You look around a few times. Now you feel like you’re the one out of your mind. You stand there for what feels like a few minutes, confused as anything, a little scared too.

You try to find an explanation and then remember that you’re a barely one year old ghost, and you probably still have a lot to learn. You hope it’s just that.

You forget everything that just happened when you hear Peter’s voice. He’s helplessly fumbling with the straps of his backpack, looking left and right, calling out your name when the people passing are far enough away. You have no idea how long you’ve been gone.

You go towards him and make yourself visible for a second, scaring him with a “Boo!”

He jumps and puts a hand on his chest. You become invisible again. “Oh my god, I thought I lost you. You were gone much longer than you said,” he whispers as people pass.

“Sorry, I went exploring. I would have come home eventually though. I always will.”

You don’t want to scare him, so you don’t tell him what happened. You’re with him now, so you feel safe anyway.

He smiles at you and you make your way back home together. Well, his home, you’re just a guest.

He tells you what he did at work while you were gone and when he asks what you saw when you were out, you tell him you just followed a subway around. That’s why you were gone so long, you followed it for ages and had to go back all the way.

You and Peter watch a film in the evening, but you’re not paying attention. You think back to your encounter with that woman - or whatever she was.

Her words replay in your mind and you realise for the first time what she was actually telling you.

A kiss from the one you love.

Peter.

She was telling you to kiss Peter.

It’s like suddenly something clicks within you.

You’re in love with him.

You’re in love. With Peter.

He’s literally the only person you even have: he’s the one you love.

It hasn’t occurred to you before that he’s more than a friend to you. Maybe you didn’t allow yourself to think it, because it would never work out.

But if that woman is right, you know it can work out. It all becomes as clear as glass. You’re in love with him.

You look at his face and you don’t know how you only saw a friend in him before. He laughs at the movie and the crinkles by his eyes become more prominent, and you just want to kiss them.

His mouth is open in a wide grin as he looks at you and you stare at his lips until his grin fades after a while. “What?” He licks his lips, “Not funny? You said you liked the actor last time so I thought—”

“No. It’s not that. I’m just.. tired.”

“You’re tired? I didn’t know you could be tired.”

“Well uh, no, not tired. But. I don’t know. I just can’t focus on the film right now. Aren’t you tired? You’ve had a busy week,” you suggest. You want him to go to bed, so you can think in peace.

“I am tired,” he smiles shyly, “I just didn’t want you to be bored. Didn’t wanna leave you alone for so long.”

It’s something he’s told you before. While he sleeps, you don’t. Sometimes you go out, but sometimes you stay in his apartment, right next to him. It’s weird when you spend so much time with him, but he’s asleep and it’s like he’s not actually there.

But you tell him it’s okay, and twenty minutes later he’s snoring away while you float around in his room, thinking.

You didn’t want to straight up tell him. You didn’t want to admit your crush, your love. It’s also a lot of pressure to tell him that he can turn you back into a human, fulfill your biggest dream, but only if he loves you back.

If you tell him that you like him, and he rejects you, you’ll lose your only friend. So will he. You can’t do that to yourself or to him.

But what about the woman? She seemed to know what she was talking about. She made you feel safe, once you decided to go along with the situation.

You’re a floating ghost. You have no doubt that fortune tellers could be real.

Then again, it could have just been a homeless woman who was taking drugs in the dirty underground. You have no reason to believe her. You have no reason not to believe her either though.

Maybe you’re just going insane. You teleported to Peter right after. You didn’t know you could do that. Or maybe you‘ve been wrong all this time and ghosts don’t live forever. Maybe your mind is rotting, and maybe you’re dying.

You sit down - you hover - next to Peter on the bed. He’s fast asleep, his hair all over the place. He’s curled up like a baby, and all you want to do is slip under the blanket with him and hold him.

You’ll decide that you’ll take the risk.

You won’t tell him that he could turn you human, but you’ll ask him for a kiss. If he rejects you you’ll… you don’t even want to think about how that would feel. But if he kisses you and you become human, you’ll be able to have a normal life again.

You’ll be able to kiss Peter, to hold his hand, to hug him. You’ll be able to make friends again, you’ll be able to cry, and actually feel the flutter of your heart when Peter smiles at you.

You’ve always trusted in your gut feeling, and in what’s in your heart. And right now you have hope in you. So you’ll trust in that.

By the time Peter wakes up, you’re sceptical again, and nervous. You’d much prefer to live a human life with Peter as your partner, but you couldn’t bare to ask Peter for a kiss, be rejected, and ruin your friendship. You’d be all alone again. You don’t want to risk that.

But you don’t want to be a ghost forever either - not if there’s another option.

You think for a few days, but you just can’t get the idea out of your head. You want to try it - you have to.

Peter has noticed that something’s off, and you don’t want to worry him any longer.

You’ve been trying to pay attention to how he treats you, how he looks at you - but you didn’t even realise you were in love for ages, so it’s even harder to realise if someone else is in love.

But, whether he’s in love with you or not, Peter is a kind soul. He won’t reject you in a mean way, or laugh at you if he doesn’t want to kiss you. It doesn’t mean that your friendship has to be ruined forever.

And anyway, the woman said you need a kiss from the one you love. She never said anything about him loving you back, even though that is implied. She never said anything about romantic love either though, and one thing you are sure about is that Peter at least loves you as a friend.

Today is a day where Peter is being extra adorable. His smile, his hair, the look in his eyes. They’re all perfect. He’s perfect. You just want to kiss him, regardless of if it turns you into a human or not.

You’re in his room, watching a film, but you’re barely paying attention because you’re talking all the time. You wait for a moment where no one’s talking and you’re both watching the film. You ask him to pause it.

Before you can change your mind, you say it.

“Peter, can you kiss me?” Your voice trembles at the end but his shy little smile gives you hope. He turns towards you, his cheeks turning red.

“I, I don’t know. Can I? I thought that wasn’t possible.”

“I know. But can you please try?”

“Oh. Okay.” He smiles softly and clears his throat, and then he leans in. He closes his eyes and so do you when you kiss him.

You briefly open your eyes again when nothing happens, to check if you’re close enough.

You are close enough to kiss him.

You close your eyes again and try to think of how badly you want to turn human again. Maybe you need to convince whoever is responsible for turning you back. A whine slips past your lips when nothing happens.

Peter pulls away and you open your eyes. You look down at yourself.

Still a ghost.

Nothing has changed.

“I have to go.” You don’t even look at him as you get up and leave.

Peter follows you, “No, wait. Wait.”

You make yourself invisible and he stops in his tracks. You stay there - Peter is your safe place, you have nowhere else to go. Peter calls out for you a few times, turning to see if he can find you. He usually can, it’s like he can just feel you, maybe it’s to do with his spidey senses. But this time, while he’s panicking, he can’t calm down to feel where you are.

You leave when a neighbour comes to curse at Peter for being so loud.

You hide in the cellar, where no one bothers you. You’ve never wanted to cry more than now, but you just can’t. The sensation, the urge to cry, is there, but you have no tears.

It was stupid to even think you could kiss him. You thought you’d turn into a solid human once your lips touched. All you did was make it awkward for both of you.

And you can’t believe you were dumb enough to believe that woman. You feel pathetic for letting yourself feel so much hope, all because of what a stranger on drugs said to you.

Or maybe that woman told you the truth. Maybe the woman was right, and Peter just doesn’t love you. Realising that hurts more than knowing you’ll be alone and a ghost forever.

You don’t think you can ever look Peter in the eyes again. You hate to take away the only friend he has, but after putting so much hope in him and being disappointed - you can’t just be his friend. It was unfair of you to expect him to be in love with you, but it didn’t stop you from doing it.

After staying in the basement a day and a night, and trying but failing to cry, you realise something. If the woman was right, and there is a way for you to get your life back, and the issue was just Peter’s feelings for you, or rather the lack thereof, she should also know how to end your life.

Turning back into a human would revive you, and make your existence into a life that is worth living. If she knows how to do that, she might know you can stop existing altogether. If you can’t find love, what’s the point of being here?

You’ll go along the subway tracks again, and hopefully you’ll find her.

But, even though you don’t want to see him again, you want to say goodbye to Peter. See him one last time. It’s early, so you hope he’s still asleep.

You make your way up to his floor, floating past all of the windows below his. It’s cold and it’s raining, and the sun isn’t quite up yet. You can only just see Peter through his fogged up window.

He’s asleep, but the covers are on the floor, and he’s wearing the same clothes he wore when you last saw him. You hope he’s not too sad. You know he can make other friends. Maybe even meet someone he can fall in love with. You think he’ll be okay.

You curse when a raindrop hits you right in the eye, and the noise you make wakes Peter up. You freeze when he looks right at you and gets out of bed.

“You’re back,” he beams, but you see the dark circles under his eyes.

You look down at yourself and realise you forgot to make yourself invisible. You try, it’s like an instinct at this point - you usually think about it and you become invisible. But nothing happens.

You go through Peter’s window and meet him on the other side. You haven’t seen him in a day, and you already missed being so close to him. God, not being able to hug him will be the death of you.

Peter starts stuttering about how worried he was and how glad he is to see you, meanwhile you’re still trying to make yourself invisible. Finally, you stop him. “You can see me?”

“Oh, uh,” he frowns, “Yeah?”

That’s when you realise. “Wait. Peter. Oh my god. I just felt a raindrop in my eye, when I was outside. There was a raindrop in my eye! And my back has been hurting all night, Peter. My back hurts!”

“I didn’t know your back could hurt.”

“It couldn’t, but now it does. I was sitting down in your basement for like a whole day. And now my back hurt. And I can’t make myself invisible anymore,” you’re nearly shouting now.

Peter looks at you for a few seconds as he processes what you’re saying, “Wait. Are you…”

“I think I am.”

You try to grab his hands in excitement but it doesn’t work. “Oh. And wait, I just floated right through your window. Maybe I… maybe I imagined feeling the raindrop.” You look down as your smile turns into a frown. You’ve once again let yourself get too hopeful about something you’re not sure was even real.

“Try again,” Peter says, folding his arms in front of him, “Try walking through my door.”

“What?” You ask, annoyed.

“Try to go through my door like you always do.” He turns towards his door and you sigh. You float right through the door and come back. Still a ghost. You just want to go back into the basement - you don’t even have enough energy to try and find the subway woman anymore.

“Again,” Peter says. You stare at him and he stares back until you turn around to pathetically float through his door a few times. He tells you to do it again and again but you’ve had enough. You try to float back into his apartment again but you crash against the door with a bang.

Peter comes running and opens the door, “Oh my god, are you okay?”

You don’t answer him - you have no words. You look down at yourself - still a ghost - but you just felt something you haven’t felt in years. You just touched that door, and you felt it in your whole body.

Peter has tears in his eyes now and you look at him, “Peter, what does this mean? Oh my god.”

“I don’t know. Try again,” he says.

You float right through his door about ten times until you bang against it again. This time Peter sees you, and he’s speechless for a few seconds.

“You just- I just- I saw you. As a human. It’s like you flickered to life for a second and you – you weren’t a ghost anymore,” he looks at you completely in awe and it’s like you can feel your heartbeat. You look at your body, and it’s still transparent - there’s no heart inside of you - but you’re hopeful now. And it finally feels like you actually have a reason to be.

“So- so what, should I just walk through your door over and over again until I become solid?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. I don’t think we should force it. Maybe your atoms are still learning how to be atoms again.”

You squint at him, “Thought you were supposed to be good at physics. That doesn’t sound very scientific.”

“I don’t know how much of this is science and how much is.. magic. I don’t know. Maybe we just need to be patient.”

“I can’t be patient.”

“I know, neither can I. But you’ll just hurt yourself by banging against a door ten times. Let’s just sit it out and distract ourselves and wait and see.”

He closes the door and sits on his bed, his eyes never leaving you. You blink at him.

“Peter. I can’t just sit with you here pretending that everything is fine between us and like this doesn’t determine my whole entire being and my life, and my relationship with the only living person I love.”

He looks at you in confusion, “Why does it determine our relationship?”

“You won’t want to be with me if I keep being a ghost.”

“What? Why not?”

“Are you kidding me? You can’t even kiss me. You won’t ever be able to take me on a date anywhere. I can’t even exist except in this apartment.”

“I don’t care as long as we’re together. And I won’t lie, or course it sucks that I can’t kiss you. And that I can’t hug you. But I don’t love you for physical things. I love you for who you are. I love you for things that go beyond flesh and bones and biologically being a human. Who cares about that? I’m in love with who you are in your soul, not your body.”

You can’t believe what he’s telling you. “You’d want to be with me even if I stayed a ghost?”

“Of course. Without a doubt. You think I would have fallen in love with you if it was a dealbreaker for me that you don’t have a physical body?”

That’s when you suddenly realise that you’ve just confessed your feelings for him. And he feels the same.

“You’re in love with me?” You feel your whole body flickering for a second, and from Peter’s face you can tell he saw it too.

“Oh my god,” you gasp, and you both take a step towards each other. The fact that you’re turning back into a human means the woman was right. She was real and she was telling you the truth. You found the right person and kissed him, and now you’re going to be human again.

You can’t believe it. Well, you’re still a ghost but you don’t know what else this would be.

“I’m so in love with you too,” you confess, and you’re grinning at each other so much you could cry. Maybe soon you’ll actually be able to. You can’t wait to cry again.

“Mmmmmh Peter, you better have some good distractions.”

You decide you shouldn’t go outside since you can’t make yourself invisible anymore, so you watch some movies, but you’re both too giddy to pay attention for even a single second.

By evening, you’re still a ghost, and while your hope isn’t gone, you’re starting to overthink. “What if it doesn’t work? What if I’m just imagining things because I’m hopeful? Or what if this is a weird stage between ghost and human that I’m trapped in now? And-and what if that woman was just lying to me, what if she’s cursed me or if she was a crazy woman and I’ve put my whole hope and trust in her and believed that it could turn my whole life around?”

“Wait, what woman?” Peter asks.

Oh. You weren’t going to tell him until this whole turning into a human thing has been sorted. Knowing that Peter loves you back is the only thing that matters, you thought the details could wait.

“Do you remember when you took me to your office a few weeks ago, and I disappeared for a bit? I met this woman, I don’t know if she was a human or a ghost or what, but she seemed so trustworthy and angelic, and she told me… she asked me what my biggest wish was, and I told her I want to be human again. She said I need to kiss the one I love and it will turn me back.”

His gaze turns soft and then excited. “Why didn’t you tell me? I could have kissed you right then and there and you could be a human by now. Why are you still doubting that this is working? Oh my god. And I’m the one you chose. I love you.” He runs a hand through his hair and leans in to touch you, but pulls back when he realises he can’t. Not yet. But soon.

You giggle, “I love you too. But I was scared you didn’t feel the same. And I didn’t want to ruin the friendship we have. That’s why I ran away after we kissed. I thought I’d messed everything up. And I wasn’t even sure if that woman was real, so I doubted that you’d believe me.”

“Of course I would have believed you,” he smiles.

“And also… I was scared that it wouldn’t work. And we still don’t know if it worked. I mean, look at me.” You try to take his hand but your hand goes right through his.

“It will work. But you’ve been a ghost for a while now, it will take some time.”

“What if it doesn’t work?”

“Then we’ll find a different way. I promise. And even if not, I’ll make your life worth living. Even as a ghost. I think in the end we’re all just ghosts. Some of us have flesh bodies with gross organs inside. Some of us are just a beautiful floating soul like you.”

You smile and lean in, trying to touch him again. It doesn’t work, but now that you know he loves you either way, it doesn’t matter as much. You’d still prefer a human life though.

You wake up late the next morning. All the excitement must have tired you out eventually. You turn around and see Peter still sleeping, a smile on his face.

You stare at him for a bit. At his toned biceps and the rest of his arm, all the way down to his hand that’s resting on your hip.

His hand. That is resting. On your hip.

You jump up when you look at your legs and they’re actual legs. You’re lying down in Peter’s bed. You’re not floating anymore. And you just woke up. You slept.

You’re human.

All your moving around wakes Peter up and he’s confused for the first few moments, his brain taking a while to start working.

“Peter, I have a flesh body with gross organs inside!” You sit up and jump around on the bed, waiting for him to fully wake up so you can finally finally kiss him.

His eyes go wide when he takes in your body, your human self, and he almost lunges forward to wrap his arms around you and meet your lips in a bruising kiss. You pull him as close to you as you can, pressing your lips against his, and you start to cry. You can’t believe that it’s actually happened. That you’re actually kissing Peter.

You want to kiss him for the rest of your life, but you haven’t touched anything in over a year, so feeling your body for the first time in a long time, being kissed and crying at the same time is a little overwhelming.

When you place your hand on Peter’s chest, he immediately understands what you’re asking and he pushes himself off of you, only hovering above you. His eyes are filled with tears and one of them rolls down his face and lands on your chin, and he wipes it away quickly. “Sorry,” he says quietly.

“It’s okay.” You don’t wipe away your own tears, you want to feel them on your face. The tears feel even more magical than a kiss turning you from a ghost into a human. “Peter,” you take his face between your hands and cup his cheeks, “Look. I have real tears on my face! And I can feel them., I missed them so so much.”

Peter cries with you and turns his face to kiss your hand. “You’re so beautiful. I mean, you were beautiful before but, god. It’s like I’m seeing you for the first time. Really seeing you.”

You’re about to respond when your stomach growls loudly and you both look down at it.

“You must be hungry,” Peter says, getting off of you and walking to the kitchen area, “I can, I think I can make some pancakes. Or just toast? I don’t know if your stomach will have to get used to food again first.”

You sit up and stare at him for a bit. He’s so gorgeous. You’re so glad you met him.

“I want to shower first. Haven’t showered in like a year,” you laugh, walking over to him. Peter lifts your arm and shoves his nose against your armpit, “You smell fine. You smell lovely, actually.” You scream and you giggle as you run away from him through his small but cozy apartment. If you’re honest, it smells a lot better than what you expected of such an old building. You’ve grown so fond of it, although that’s mostly because of Peter.

“Shit,” you realise, “I have to get a job now. And buy food and clothes and pay rent and find a place to live. I wanna be a ghost again,” you joke, but Peter takes your hand and gently pulls you towards him.

“I won’t let that happen. Just stay here. For now, or forever if you want. And I’ll make sure to feed you, you don’t have to worry about a thing.”

You step closer to him and grin against his face. You can see he wants to kiss you, but isn’t sure if he can in case it’s overwhelming. You give him a short kiss and ask him if you can shower. He tells you you can do whatever you want and to tell him if you need anything - including alone time without him. But for now, you just need a shower.

When you come out of the bathroom, Peter has bought new clothes for you. You’re in the clothes you died in, so you’d rather wear anything else, but the clothes Peter bought are quite nice and fit perfectly. He says he just ran to that thrift store around the corner and got you loads of clothes for less than twenty dollars. You always wanted to go there with him. Now you can.

You can do whatever you want with Peter, wherever you want. You can meet new people and make new friends. And you can live a human life.

Peter makes breakfast for you and you spend the rest of the day lying in bed with him, occasionally holding hands or kissing for a second, but making out or even cuddling is still overstimulating. You know you’ll get there soon and you can’t wait until you do so you can physically show Peter just how much you love him, but for now being brought back to life is already making you feel enough things.

You nearly forget that you have to sleep again now. That’s until you yawn and you realise how exhausted you are. Peter tells you to go to sleep and he’ll look after you.

You fall asleep holding his hand.

The next day, Peter has to go back to work, so you spend some time alone.

You touch yourself all over your body, just feeling yourself.

You’re much more used to touch now than you were yesterday, so your hand sneaks down between your thighs, giving yourself the best orgasm of your life.

It’s just you and your body, making love to yourself.

You go for a long walk, enjoying every aspect of it. You don’t have a winter coat so you just take a blanket with you. You hardly even stand out for New York’s standards.

The colourful leaves have all fallen by now and you missed being able to step on the crunchy ones. You missed feeling the wind on your face and how your nose gets all cold in the late autumn air.

You kiss Peter for longer than ever before when he comes home from work, and then you hug him for about ten minutes. And then you kiss him again.

He takes you grocery shopping so he can cook you your favourite meals and he can learn what you like.

You’re in the fruit aisle, asking him which apples to get, and you realise he’s not listening to you, just staring. “What?“ You start grinning at his lovesick expression.

“Nothing. I just love you so much. I mean, look at you.” He twirls you around and doesn’t let go of your hand, “You’re so.. alive,” you both laugh, but you know what he means, “You’re so vibrant. And full of life. You were beautiful before but now? Wow. Like. Oh my fucking god.”

You let him stare and just get the apples that look the best to you.

You’re walking through the streets hand-in-hand a while later. You’re on your way home, enjoying life and enjoying that you can touch Peter and that you can walk outside without having to make yourself invisible.

“The one thing I didn’t miss is how bad this city smells sometimes,” you scrunch up your nose and Peter kisses it. You chase the smell of him when he pulls back, burying your nose against his neck, humming, “Mmh, you smell good though.”

“You smell better,” he grins and kisses your lips, his cold, red nose brushing up against your cheek.

While Peter unlocks the front door to your building, you hear an unmistakable meow from behind you. Lucky. You haven’t seen her in weeks. You were worried something happened to her.

You crouch down in front of her, reaching out your hand. She immediately pushes her head against your palm, asking you to pet her.

You don’t know how - because you didn’t have a smell when you were a ghost - but she recognises you. She knows you. And you finally get to feel her soft fur and make her purr for as long as she wants to.

You don’t dare ask Peter - it’s technically only his apartment and you don’t even know if pets are allowed in the building. “Just take her,” he playfully rolls his eyes and holds the door open for you and Lucky. You’ll let her go out whenever she wants, but if she can’t be bothered catching mice or needs a warm place to stay or to get a cuddle, you want to be there for her. She got you through some rough times.

You and Peter end up cooking together - it’s much more fun like that. Lucky is snoring on your bed, but she’s on Peter’s side, so you leave her there. Lucky stays out most of the time, but you see her every few days, and always welcome her in.

You get yourself a pretty winter coat in a small shop not far from your and Peter’s place, and you notice a sign saying they’re hiring. The manager is beyond kind and it’s only a few hours a week, and you get the job. You don’t really need it while you’re living with Peter in his apartment, but you need something to do and now you and Peter really don’t have to worry about paying rent each month.

You pick Peter up from work that day in your new, pretty coat and it starts snowing. It’s the first snow of the year. Peter tells you how sad and depressed he was last winter and how happy he is now. You tell him how sad and depressed you were last winter and how happy you are now.

You were both so lonely. So lost. With an existence you could barely call a life. And you found each other, and it changed everything. He’s your person. And you’re his.

Peter takes you to meet some colleagues outside of work for the first time and you invite a neighbour you were talking to the other day in your building’s laundry room. You can already see her becoming a new friend, and afterwards Peter tells you how well he gets along with one of his colleagues. It’s a good day.

By now, you’re completely used to all touch and sensation. You can kiss Peter for as long as you want without feeling overwhelmed, and you keep wanting more and more.

Your watching a film one Friday night turns into nothing but kissing. Kissing kissing kissing. It’s not enough though, and you pull Peter’s hoodie off over his head.

“I need you,” you softly say into his ear and he grins.

“You sure?”

“I’m so sure, Peter, please.” You’ve been thinking about having sex with Peter for months now, so now that you’re finally ready, you’re ready.

He smiles at you and leans down to kiss your neck, his hand slipping under the hem of your shirt, fingers slowly sliding up your belly.

It’s torture how light his touch is, so you pull off the shirt you’re wearing, leaving you only in your panties.

Peter licks his lips as he looks at you and slowly lowers his face to your chest, kissing between your breasts and then gently taking one of your nipples into his mouth.

You grab onto his hair and sigh in pleasure, his hands making their way up your sides, but soon you’re hungry for more. Your fingers glide down his chest, past his abs, and find his hard cock beneath his sweatpants.

He stops what he’s doing and moans, pressing his head against your shoulder as you begin to tease him with featherlight touch over his briefs. “Fuck,” he groans, lifting his head to look into your eyes.

The pleasure written all over his features makes you stop what you’re doing. You lift your legs to push your panties down your legs. You’re trying to get Peter’s pants off too but he sits up to spread your legs and sit between them.

Your cheeks heat up as he spreads your lips to look at your pussy, and he shyly tells you how pretty you are. You can feel his breath on your skin and you’re getting wetter by the second.

“Is this okay?” He asks, pressing his lips against your inner thighs with a wet mouth.

“Yes, fuck, more than okay.”

Then his mouth is finally on your clit, and you gasp when you first feel his wet tongue on your pussy. You tell him what to do and he quickly gets the hang of it, his eyes focussing on your face to see what you like most.

He slowly and gently plays with your pussy until you cum all over his face with a cry of his name, and then he doesn’t stop until you cum another time. By your second orgasm, you’re grabbing his hair and grinding your pussy against his face, begging him to get inside of you.

He stands up to get the condom but when you see the bulge in his sweatpants, you want him in your mouth.

You sit up to kneel at the edge of the bed, next to where he’s standing. You touch him over his pants and look up at him with angel eyes. “Can I?”

“Fuck. Of course.” He drops the condoms when you pull down his sweats and wrap your hand around his hard cock.

You’re looking up at him as you take your time with him, tracing his length with wet lips, gently licking his balls, and then you wrap your lips around the head of his cock. You take him deeper each time, slowly moving your head up and down, your spit dripping down him.

He opens his mouth, and nothing but a desperate moan comes out, making you suck his dick faster. You grab his thigh to steady yourself, hollowing your cheeks every time you take him deeper into your mouth.

Seeing him all worked up, gasping and moaning, is making you so wet and desperate, but you can’t stop - you don’t want to. You can hear how close he is by how short his breaths are and how broken his voice sounds.

“Fuck– fuck,” he groans, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, and then he puts a hand on your cheek, making you stop.

“I wanna be inside of you now. I need to–” he takes off his pants and puts on the condom while you lie back down, spreading your legs. Peter stops when he gets back on the bed and presses a kiss onto your clit, taking a second to taste you again.

“Peter…” your whimper, making his head snap towards your face.

“Okay, yes, okay,” he quickly positions himself between your legs, lining himself up with you, “You sure?”

“Yes, oh my god, Peter. Just fuck me.”

He grins and kisses you as he slowly pushes into you. You wrap your arms around him and hold him as close to you as you can. You stop kissing him back - you feel too good to do anything.

All the desperation is gone, it’s just you and him now, taking your time. The rest of the world doesn’t exist. Only Peter does.

He looks into your eyes as he thrusts into you, as deep as he can, and you wrap your legs around his waist, so you’re spread out even more for him. “I love you,” he breathes.

“I love you,” you say, pulling him even closer. You search for his hand and he brings it up to your face. You open your mouth so he can push a finger past your lips, and you hum as you suck his finger into your mouth. The only sounds you can hear are Peter’s breaths, him sliding into your wet pussy, and your wet lips around his finger.

You’re still looking right into his eyes, and he doesn’t look away. You chase his finger with your mouth when he pulls it away, but he quickly soothes you with a deep kiss.

“You wanna cum for me?” He asks, bringing his thumb between your legs to rub your clit. He’s holding himself up with his forearm, still fucking you while he touches your clit.

You never knew how strong he was. But now that he’s on top of you, so desperate and so close, his big biceps right next to your face, he’s still doing everything he can to make you feel good - no weakness in sight.

You feel your orgasm approaching, and press your lips against his. “Fuck, so good for me, so pretty,” he whispers against your mouth, keeping the rhythm steady against your clit.

The waves of your orgasm flood you with pleasure and spread through your whole body. You arch up into him, pressing your chest against his. Your pussy squeezes him so tight that he cums with you, moaning into your mouth, short thrusts into your pussy until you’re both coming down from your highs.

You stay wrapped in each other for a while, his forehead pressed against yours. You’re breathing each other, pressing kisses onto each other’s faces.

“I love you,” he says, still out of breath.

You grin at him and put your hand on his cheek as you kiss him, “I love you too.”

You’re walking down the streets of a holiday-themed market a few weeks later, a hot drink in one hand, your other one intertwined with Peter’s, snowflakes flying through the air.

He’s showing you a cute holiday bauble when you see the reflection of someone you know in it. Your quickly turn around and then you see the woman. The woman who told you how to become human.

She’s standing far away, but you can see her clearly. She smiles at you and you beam back at her. You want to walk towards her to thank her, but something tells you to stay right where you are.

“I knew you’d make the right choice,” she smiles warmly, and then she vanishes into thin air. You grin.

You look at Peter and his adorable face for a few seconds. Then you grab him to kiss him, and he kisses you back with so much love.

She’s right. You made the right choice.

☆.｡.:*support a writer and reblog or send an ask if you enjoyed, it helps out a lot.｡.:*☆

#peter parker x reader #peter parker smut #peter parker x you #peter parker friends to lovers #ghost!reader #peter parker fluff #peter parker angst #peter parker #Spiderman smut #Spiderman x reader #fem!reader #tom holland #peter parker halloween fic #halloween

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itscomplicatedx · 7 months

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Marvel at the beginning of the show: So this show will be about Loki learning to love himself and not being afraid of being lonely anymore.

Also Marvel: completely ignores Loki‘s trauma and tries to make him an evil narcissist** (Mobius is not qualified to make that assessment, especially since according to the TVA, Loki was supposed to do the bad things he did) at the beginning, tries to stick him with a Thor light version of himself, and has him end up alone, where once again, very few people will know or care when he did something heroic.

I liked season 2 a lot better than season 1, but that ending was whack.

If you don’t feel like reading a long rant, feel free to skip below. If you disagree with me and want to make your own long answer, write your own post. I’m mostly here to express my opinion, not get into long debates.

**Marvel doesn’t seem to understand much at all about mental health. I wish we could get whoever wrote Moon Knight to write everything about mental health in the MCU as they handled it in a decent way for a TV show. The last guy they tried to call a narcissist (Tony Stark) literally either tried to or sacrificed himself to save the universe more than once; as did Loki and his variants. Loki was set up to fail since the beginning of the timeline; and while obviously he’s far from innocent, acting like it was all his grievances were in his head and “imagined slights” or just a function of a narcissist is a pretty awful message to send about trauma. We know for a fact there’s a shit load wrong with Asgard, and an amazing slew of double standards in the MCU. It would be a great way to explain it to say it was all part of a timeline that was meant for somethings to turn out a certain way, but I’m not sure they’ll do that. But that’s my head canon anyway, based on what we saw in the What If series. There we see that when certain events aren’t set up and happen differently, heroes can go off the trail and villains can be just fine.

They conveniently showed Loki how Odin “loves him”, but not that he literally kidnapped him and lied that his birthright “was to die”, and just basically let everybody else off the hook including people who have done worse than Loki.

I understand if they didn’t want to use another actual mental health term, but instead of “narcissist” they could’ve just gone with Loki having “severe attachment issues” or something more vague like that, but then they might’ve actually had to talk about how he got them. Because I guarantee you when the majority of people hear the term narcissist they think of the worst kind who have all the worst full blown traits on the spectrum, not of the fragile kind, who do have self-esteem issues, share a lot of traits with BPD, and are said to be more rare. They most definitely don’t think of people who would sacrifice themselves.

I personally see Loki as Borderline with some narcissistic traits (who wouldn’t have them being raised a royal in a place like Asgard). With Tony I think some of his supposedly worst traits were him trying to cover up his trauma. Sorry Natasha, but an assassin/spy who works for a shady government organization is not qualified to make a mental health assessment. Neither is Mobius.

#loki spoilers #loki #loki show critical #mcu critical #marvel critical #this is more critical than anti-but I’ll put the tag in just the same to keep the wackos out #anti loki series #anti sylki #narcissists dni if you see him differently make your own post #if you see him differently make your own post

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b4rbi3l4nd · 1 year

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SOS — i can't see it

NEW CHAPTER IS UPPP, again, I will never stop thanking y'all for all the support on the last chapters, y'all's comments make me so happy pls 😭 anyway, hope y'all like this chapter!! and i apologize in advance for what goes down in this chapter, also if this feels rushed, i apologize i was getting my hair done and i wanted to finish this chapter and put it out today, more was gonna go down but anyway. i also changed the age so y/n was 20 when she found out she was pregnant but she's 24 now and Shuri is 25, had to do it based on the MCU timeline lol, MB, also for some reason I cringed a lot writing the last scene bc the WORDS was just so unholy but ANYWAY ENJOY

𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐋

GIF by mandalor-din

series summary: you broke up with shuri a few years ago and left wakanda for good until namor. now that he's killed the queen and multiple wakandan civilians, he's seen as a great threat and as former second in command at shuri's lab and wakanda's loyal warrior it is your duty to return and fight for your country. but a certain somebody makes the mission way too hard to deal with.

episode summary: a hasty decision you don't agree with and an uncomfortable realization leads to you and shuri having to talk things out. one thing leads to another and the next thing you know, you wake up in her bed. awkward

genre: ANGST, slow, slow, slow burn, smut

pairing: shuri x black fem reader

episode warnings: mature dialogue, suggestive dialogue, suggestive scenes, smut, cursing, trauma, shouting, mentions of death, suicide, missing people etc. this is a series. you are currently looking at the fourth chapter of the series, please go to my profile to read the previous chapters before continuing (if you haven't read the other chapters yet, if so, please continue)

taglist: @yvxmpire, @sweetalittleselfish-honey, @xxmilli, @queenofsimpsblog, @ziayamikaelson, @shuriislut, @atssukoo, @widowmakker, @cuddl3s4shur1, @n7cje, @ts1mp0ne, @locoforshuri

proofread?: no but if there are errors then it's grammarly's fault.

word count: girl idfk

inspirations: 'SOS' — SZA

song: 'Blind' — SZA

send your thoughts and requests

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You sit in front of the throne room, your legs crossed as you nervously moved your legs up and down, trying to listen in on what the elders and Shuri were deciding on doing about the baby.

"I say we get rid of her and the baby." An elder proposed. "We don't need another repeat of Killmonger."

"Exactly." Another elder agreed. "And we don't even know is this baby is of royal blood."

"Not only that but this baby will be the grandchild of Namor. If someone like him has access to Wakanda? We've good for."

"This is an innocent baby you all are talking about." Shuri interjected, looking between the elders. "They haven't even been born yet, and you're looking to them as a threat."

"I say we let her have the baby and then once it's born we kill Malia and raise the child as our own." Elders added.

"We can't just kill her off like that.." Shuri muttered. "Eventually the child will grow up wondering what happened to their mom and then...killmonger all over again."

"So what do you suggest we do my queen?"

Shuri took a deep sigh, her fingers resting on her chin as she looked around the room.

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The doors to the throne room opened up as Shuri walked out, you immediately stood up, walking next to her.

"Hey, what are you all going to do in there?" Shuri looked at you and then back forward.

"We've come to an agreement of what we're going to do to the baby. If it's not mine then, she'll be sent back to country."

"And if it is?"

You didn't even give her a chance to respond as your eyes opened wide. "Wait what? Send her back to her country? Are you crazy?"

You guys turned a corner as she just ignored your words.

"If it is mine, then she'll be sent back to her country, after 9 months, the baby will return here to be raised in Wakanda."

"Why are we sending her back to her country? Are you trying to get us all killed?!" You whisper shouted at Shuri who sighed deeply.

She pushed open the door to the infirmary to see the doctor standing there, Malia laying down on one of the beds and Okoye and your mother standing next to the wall, shaking their heads.

"Well? How far along is she?" Shuri asked, glancing between her ex and the doctor.

The woman whispered as she spoke. "8 weeks my queen."

You bit the inside of your lips. Fuck, that means she was pregnant when you hit her. Are you serious?

You looked down, you knew what they were going to ask next, if the baby was Shuri's or not. And they can find that out. You know that because an elder of your tribe had it forcefully done on you when he suspected you of engaging in sexual activities with the princess.

When Shuri found out of course, he was executed.

"Well, is it of royal blood?" Shuri asked.

The doctor showed some papers as she answered "The blood came out a bit clotty and the tests were hard to run because of this but so far, yes. It is your child, my queen."

You let out a shaky breath you didn't know you had in you as images of Shuri and Malia filled your head. You puffed up your cheeks and looked down and turned around. "God."

Shuri also sighed deeply and pressed her temples.

"What are we going to do my queen?" Okoye asked as Shuri thought for a moment.

"Keep her locked up for now. She'll eventually be sent back to her country. After 9 months, the baby will be brought back to be raised in Wakanda. Yeah.."

"Are you serious?!" You turned around to Shuri, furious as ever. You deeply cared about your country and she was a horrible decisions maker.

"She goes back to her country, okay, what happens next? Namor is enraged that she's pregnant with your baby and he knows all the key entrances to Wakanda. We're doomed, dead. Gone." You add to it.

"Well we know what they're planning, so we'll be ready for him?"

"Really? Ready for him like how you were all 'ready' for those last 2 attacks? HM?! Why don't you just kill her and the God-forsaken baby."

"Y/N, that's inhumane. I can't just kill her and an innocent baby...especially since she was my girlfriend for almost 4 years.." Shuri added.

"OH BUT YOU CAN LOCK UP THE ONE YOU KNEW FOREVER?!" You raise your voice at her sharply. Your eyes had turned dull and the only thing behind them was fury. You were seeing red, you felt like you were going to kill Shuri and Malia herself.

"Don't think you're out of the clear because of this whole Malia thing because you're not." Shuri snaps at you. She didn't even raise her voice this time but it felt like she did. She walks past you, leaving the infirmary as Okoye follows her.

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You smile over to another person at the lab before turning back to your dehydration device. You were working on one of the heaters to try and distract your mind.

The whole Malia and Shuri situation had your head spinning in multiple different directions.

The guy you were working with at the lab was currently engaging with you in conversation and his voice kept getting drained out by your thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what were you saying?" You look at him and he smiles warmly at you, repeating everything. "Oh yeah, you're right...this goes here..." You fix some stuff on the heaters before you hear a voice speak above you.

"Y/N, can I talk to you alone please?"

You look up to see Shuri staring down at you sternly and you gulp silently before nodding, wiping your hands on your white suit. You were too distracted with your thoughts to change.

She walked down the stairs and out of the lab as you followed. In the hallway, she pull you to a corner but her grip was less strong than you thought.

"Look.." She started as you looked up to her. She was staring at the ground nervously and you raise an eyebrow.

"What, you sending me back to Nigeria?" You ask and she slowly shakes her head.

"No..um, Okoye said some things to me earlier that really stuck with me and I feel like I owe you an apology." She looks directly in your eyes after the last bit, her stare now more genuine and sympathetic.

Your posture straightened as you folded your arms. "I'm listening." What an interesting change in direction.

"Ever since you got here, I haven't been..myself and I know that now because...because.."

"Because?"

"Because I'm still in love with you Y/N."

Your eyes widened at this revelation and you blinked multiple times. "What?"

"I know yeah, it's inappropriate and I shouldn't be feeling this way but I can't help it and I expressed that in the worst way possible and genuinely, I'm sorry."

"Shuri I-"

"We don't have to talk if you're uncomfortable."

"No, no." You interjected. "I'm just surprised is all." You weren't expecting that and if you're honest, you are also still in love with her, no matter how many times you guys argued or you cursed at her, you've just been through too much together.

"I...I'm still in love with you too and..there's no running away from it. I'm a grown-ass woman...we're grown-ass women, I mean you're 25, I'm 24...we've got a lot of growing up to do." You finish.

"You've got a lot of growing up to do." Shuri said.

You rolled your eyes. "Don't start with me now Shuri."

A small laugh came from her as you looked up to see her chuckling. A smile formed on your lips as you laughed along with her.

"I missed this.." She said, looking at you with genuine eyes. Those beautiful eyes that once held hatred behind them looked at you with love, reminding you of how you used to wake up with her every morning.

"Shuri.."

"You know, you would make a great queen if you weren't so stubborn." She said sarcastically.

"I would make a great queen because I'm so stubborn." You corrected her.

"Ah-" She started.

"If- If that was what I wanted.." You backtracked on your statement, putting your hands out. A few moments of silence went by before she spoke out.

"I...don't want to fight with you anymore Y/N." She voiced out, a small frown appearing on her face. "And I'm not asking you to date me or anything I just..." She paused and sighed. "You came here under work circumstances and it was unfair for me to treat you inappropriately so, let's just keep it professional for the rest of your stay or we could be.."

"Friends?" You asked, raising your hand for a handshake.

"Yeah, I'd like that."

Your hands locked together and she shook your hand, causing you both to smile.

Finally, peace at last.

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It's been 2 weeks since you and Shuri made up and frankly, you've never loved being around her more. You were starting to see the more innocent and playful side of her that you loved being around. You 2 were always joking in the lab and you especially loved it when you and Riri joined forces just to bully her.

It was peace in Wakanda and the only thing stressful was the fact that Talokan could attack any minute now, which is why Shuri was taking out the whole staff to celebrate that night.

No guards, no work, just fun and dancing and that's exactly what you were doing.

Riri helped you get ready for tonight, she said you needed to get your "hoe" on. Not sure why, but whatever.

She had you wear RED lingerie because

"Red is the sexiest color duh," Riri said, shoving the savage x fenty set in your face.

And a bodycon black top that was slightly see-through, paired up with a leather skirt.

"Only on the cleavage and sleeve parts, I'll let you have your dignity."

Not that the top even had to be see-through for everyone to know what your cleavage looked like anyway.

"It's kinda your brand now, own it."

Matching black pumps and red lipstick.

"You're like the only person I know that fits red lipstick. Here, I'll do it. Not too much lipstick, only on the bottom, don't forget to blend in the liner and a bit darker on the top lip and ooo, gloss. Just a little bit tho, it works on you though right?"

Bold eyeshadow.

"We want them panties dropping TONIGHT!"

And for your hair, natural but with your edges done, of course.

"Your natural hair already looks like a Brazillian blow out so, not too much."

And a black purse with gold, to match.

"Okay, we're done and wow you look hot."

"I always do, let's be for real here." You say as you both laugh in your bedroom.

Currently, you were grinding with that same guy you were working with in the lab earlier. He had his hands on your waist as you guys moved in sync to the music.

Once it ended, you excused yourself from the dance floor, catching Shuri sitting down next to the bar with her shades on.

"Hey.." You wave at her, sitting a few seats away. You're not sure if she heard you but she gave you a slight not. You couldn't exactly tell if she was looking you because her shades made it hard to tell but you nodded right back.

You were planning to let lose tonight. "Can I get a bacardi please?" You signal to the waiter and they nod. You watch as they pour your drink before you smile and take it.

You down it like a shot, before placing it down on the table, feeling the burn as it slithered down your throat.

"Phew...I'm gonna go back over there." You were talking to Shuri but you figured she couldn't really care, she opened her mouth to speak but shut it just as quick.

"Okay.." You stand up and walk back over to the dance floor, feeling a bit nervous but relaxed soon enough thanks to Riri.

You guys hands interlocked as you both danced to the music. Eventually, as you pulled away, you felt 2 hands on your hips again and they felt way too familiar, like they've been around there before.

You figure it was the guy from before and you let it be, dancing along with them but your face dropped when you looked up to see Riri staring at you, eyes wide open, mouth hanging out.

Okay, it definitely was not the guy from before. You look over to her, raising an eyebrow as your eyes signal a "What?"

She mouthed with her hands desperately swiping over her throat. "The queen."

Horrified, you turned around to see Shuri looking down at you, her shades were gone and you could see nothing in her eyes but pure lust and arousal. And that she was definitely like half sober.

You don't say anything, your body unconsciously grinding against her. Her head lowered to your neck as you let out a shaky breath when her lips connected to your sweet spot. The spot that she just loved to tease.

"Shuri.." you muttered out, starting to get lost in the feel of it.

You were brought back to reality when a cold liquid hit your top. You look away to see Riri in front of both of you.

"Sorry. I guess I spilled, you might want to go to the bathroom to get things cleaned up." She signaled with her tone and her eyes.

"Oh yeah..sorry." You turned to Shuri who had stopped and broke through her grip. You walked over to the bathroom, your mind racing.

You let out a deep sigh as you entered. It was currently empty, which was great. You grabbed some towels as you started to wipe down your dress, your thoughts replaced with what would've happened if Riri never spilled her drink on you.

"Need help?"

You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard the door open, Shuri's voice along with it.

She walked behind you, taking the tissue from your hands as she wrapped on arm around your waist, the other helping you to wipe your dress.

As time went on, it felt more like her grazing your breasts than her helping you clean up. Eventually, she grabbed a handful of one of your boobs and you let out a soft and unexpected moan.

You immediately covered your mouth, embarrassed as she chuckled behind you. She let go momentarily, giving you a chance to leave but you didn't.

In fact, you did the opposite. It was clear that your body wanted her, craved her. That you craved her. You leaned into her and you watched as she smirked through the bathroom mirror.

She slipped her hand through your skirt, grazing over your pussy. You let out a small moan as she began massaging circles, applying pressure. You bit your lip as you threw your head back on her shoulder.

She took the chance to capture your lips with hers and you watch it all happen through the mirror but then she stopped and pulled apart.

"I think we should go somewhere more private."

Now that she had already given you a taste of pleasure, you couldn't stop yourself, you wanted more. You needed more.

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warning: it's getting hot in hereee

As you entered her apartment, you looked around. Everything was still in contact from when you lived with her. The painting you made for your anniversary, still up on the wall.

You felt Shuri's arms wrap around your waist as she kissed you again, slowly and more passionately this time.

"Tonight, baby i want you."

She whispers between the kiss as you feel her hands taking off your clothes. You kicked off your heels as well, helping her out.

You guys walked backward, lips still locked together and hands roaming each other's bodies. She gently pushed you back on the bed till you were laying on the bed then she pulled apart and stood, looking at you up and down.

"Fuck..." She muttered under her breath as her hands reached down to touch your body.

"I love when you wear that sthandwa(my love).." Her lips connected to your neck as she slowly kissed all around it.

One of her hands wrapping around your neck as she turned your head, finding your sweet spot again, sucking on it now, hard but passionately.

"Mmm.." you moaned out as you felt a puddle forming in between your legs.

She didn't stop until the spot was dark purple before she pulled back, looking at your breasts.

"I missed these so much usana(baby)" Her hands grazed over your nipples, making them hard. She lifted you up slightly to unclip your bra before laying you back down again.

Her hands grazed over your nipples as she slowly took off your bra. Her lips connected to one of them, causing you to bite your lip, holding back an unGodly moan.

She sucked on them until they felt numb before she turned her attention to the other one.

She was being so mean, taking her time with everything and you knew she knew that you were craving her.

"Shuri..." you breath out as she looks up at you, humming in response.

"I need you to touch me.."

"I am touching you," She replied, lifting her head up as her panther chain dangled in your face. You hooked your finger around it to pull her face closer.

"You know what I mean, I want you to touch me..there.."

You take her hand and slide it down and around your curves until she reaches your pussy. She pressed her hand on it, earning a moan from you. Wow, she barely touched you and you were already cumming. You really needed her, huh?

"Fuck, I love when you get vocal entle.(beautiful)" She groaned as you wrapped your arm around her neck to pull her closer and kiss her.

She rubbed circles on you, lowering her hand before you felt her slip your panties to the side.

"OH-!"

You were caught by surprise when you felt her finger suddenly just slip in your wet folds. She found your clit without even looking because of course would...this was like coming home to her, she's been here before.

"Hm...? It's just one baby, you can take more than that right?" Shuri teased as you sighed.

"It just got me by surprise, that's all.." You muttered out, feeling her pump in and out of you.

Another finger slipped in, causing your hips to buck unconsciously towards her, earning for more friction.

"I think you're slowly killing me here.." You throw your head back, rocking your hips along to her rhythm.

Shuri chuckled as she kept to her pace before adding another finger suddenly, causing you to moan out suddenly.

Her pace slowed down as she used her free hand to hoist your hips over her shoulders. Once you were secure, she fastened causing your hips to jerk upwards.

You didn't even get a chance to moan out because that's when Shuri suddenly stopped and then she started hitting again but this time with more intensity and she was hitting your spot every time.

The spot that made you twist and turn like a worm. That made your toes curl up and look like it was doing gang signs. That turned you into a dumb babbling mess, that she just called you.

"OH SHURI, SHURI, YES, YES, YES!" You moaned out in pleasure as your vision turned white.

"That's it baby...keep going." Shuri groaned in your ear as she quickened her pace, you held onto her arm, feeling her restraint.

She was holding back but it still felt like you were getting hit with the force of a thousand bricks. She was strong most definitely.

She wrapped a hand around your throat, squeezing tightly and it felt like she was breaking your windpipe but you loved it. Filthy.

It felt like she hated you so much with the amount of force she was using and it felt amazing, euphoric even.

Your hips jerked again as you squeezed your eyes shut.

"SHURI!" You screamed out her name as she moaned even louder than you when she felt you clench around her fingers.

"That's it beautiful, ride it out...just like that.." She kept thrusting in you but she slowed down, letting you get down from your high.

You thought it was over, you were starting to sit up when you felt her take a long lick of your pussy, making you squirm but she held you in place.

She released her grip on your throat and you were sure her handprint was going to be there tomorrow.

"Oh my..." you breathed out, your back arching upwards as she took more slow, long licks.

"Shuri please...." You moved your pussy along her mouth, rubbing circles as you moaned. She pushed her fingers that were just in you, into your mouth.

"Suck." She instructed and you did just that.

"Mmm..." She looked down at you with hooded eyes before taking her fingers out of your mouth. Both her hands gripped your thighs as she held you in place.

You closed your eyes as her lips made contact with your folds. She licked them slowly, sticking her tongue in places you didn't even realize existed. She had you seeing stars, especially since you were already sensitive from your last orgasm. But she didn't care.

Your thoughts scrambled and fuzzed as you felt her tongue enter deep into you and then back out before going in and out again.

"Shuri you're so...soo...meannn.." Your words slurred together as you tried to gather yourself.

"Really? I like to think I'm being generous tonight."

And she was true, on a daily basis, she did way worse, she was a completely different person when turned on, it was crazy, a whole 360 change.

Eventually, your breathing started to get hasty and rushed as your whole body felt numb.

You looked down to see Shuri staring right back up at you as she feasted on you and your juices. The eye contact you made was intense and hot. You looked over to the mirror next to your bedside and the sight was enough to get you squirming.

"Oh Shuri, yes...just like that baby, just like that.." You put your hands on her head, forcing her to go with your rhythm. You rubbed your clit against her face, the friction becoming unbearable, especially when she wouldn't stop doing that with her tongue. Deep and fast strokes, it was driving you crazy.

"OH MY SHURI, BAST, OH GODDD!" You felt her slip another finger into you and as soon as she did that, she slipped 2 more.

The pleasure was enough to drive you crazy and it did. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your body gave out as you collapsed and screamed out her name.

"SHURI, FUCK"

Your breathing was ragged as you tried to catch your breath, your hand over you chest as you watched her clean up every drop of your release with her tongue. You looked back up at the ceiling as you felt her leave from between your legs.

After finally getting a hold of yourself, you look up to see Shuri walking out from her closet, naked and, 2 black boxes in her hands. She looked at you tilting her head.

"Pick one."

"There's more?" You breathed out as Shuri laughed. You've already been overstimulated, cumming twice already. Frankly, you haven't had sex in 4 years, there's only so much your body can take now.

"You're cute...pick one." Shuri instructed again.

You laid back in the bed, lazily pointing to her right hand. You watched as she opened the box, setting the other one down as she pulled out a double-sided dildo, powered by vibranium of course. It was a personal project she made just for you. It transmits energy and pleasure between the 2 users so you both can get off.

It still looked clean and fresh so could tell she hadn't used it in a while.

You turned your attention over to her body, her tattoos, the way her hair was slightly wet from sweat, her posture, her everything. She was just so attractive. You forced your head to look back up at the ceiling, taking a deep sigh.

Shuri walked over to you on the bed as she just looked down at you.

"You look so beautiful like this you know..laid out on our bed, waiting for me.." She whispered, causing butterflies in your stomach and vagina. Crazy.

She took the dildo and inserted the tip slowly into you but then stopped, moving it in and out slowly, making a circle shape as your hips slowly followed the pattern, causing you to moan out slightly, your eyes fluttering.

"You like that huh baby?" She breathed out before stopping sharply. "Look at me."

"I can't, even if I want to Shuri...I can't see, I'm blind." You say and it was true, your vision was currently fuzzy as hell and this normally happened whenever you and Shuri slept together, she just had a way of touching you that made you lose all your senses.

Shuri smirked before shoving the whole dildo into you, causing you to scream so loud, you swear a glass must've shattered or something.

"AGH! SHURI! SHIT!"

She silenced you with a kiss as she brought the dildo back out again, rubbing your clit with her fingers gently and passionately.

She used her hands to put your thighs on her shoulders before inserting the dildo into you slowly this time as she rubbed in circles.

She then inserted her side into herself causing her to moan through the kiss, allowing your tongue to slip through and wrap itself in hers.

The room filled with the noises of both your moans and your skin slapping against each other. She was just hitting your spot again with just so much force and the fact that you knew she was holding back from going harder made your mind swirl.

Your toes curled, your breaths struggled, your hands gripping all over and onto the sheets, your hips bucking and moving with her pace, and your vision was currently gone.

"Mmm, baby..." Shuri moaned into the kiss as she kept thrusting. You could hear her panting and struggling to keep her pace and composure.

"SHURI! MM!" You shouted as you held tightly onto her arms and thighs.

Her pace started to become uneven as she threw her head back getting lost in the pleasure.

"Just like that baby...just...like..fuck.." She struggled before she finally pushed you to the edge.

You screamed out her name again as your back arched so high, you could kiss the ceiling. She fell into you, pulling out the dildo but still pushing up against you.

You felt her cum hit your walls as you sighed. You guys stayed in that position before she finally pulled away, using her finger to push some cum back into you, filling you up.

You fell on the bed, lifeless, breathless and visionless. The rest of the night consisted of Shuri running a bath for you and giving you a massage while saying praises to you, as well as her changing the sheets and slipping on one of her shirts on you.

You had your legs wrapped around her waist, her hands fixed on your waist, one of them, moving up, squeezing your breast and then going up to cup your face as she kissed you passionately.

You willingly opened up your mouth as her tongue slipped in. You moaned into the kiss. This felt amazing, like coming home. Her warmth that you had missed for years.

She eventually pulled away before laying you down on the bed, kissing your cheek sweetly. She grabbed a bonnet from her nightstand and put it on your head. You remember this bonnet, you used to wear it all the time back when you guys were still together..and she kept it.

She eventually got in the bed with you, slipping the covers onto both of you guys, her arm wrapping around you as you sighed.

She held you close, like if she let go, you'd disappear.

"I love you so...so much baby...my beautiful girl.." She whispered sweet nothings into your ear as she rocked you to sleep.

Fuck, I am going to regret this tomorrow.

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