starlazergazer - Tumblr blog

starlazergazer · 7 months

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Couldn't Get Rid of Me if You Tried

Pairing: Anakin x Reader

Request(s): Reader has a nightmare and Anakin stays with her / Reader can’t sleep so Anakin stays by her side / Reader hasn’t slept in a few days and Anakin notices and makes the reader go to bed, not leaving until they fall asleep

Warnings: Swearing, nightmares

Word Count: 4.9K

A/N: Long overdue but I finally finished writing something! This is a mash up of a few different requests I thought would work well together so let me know what you think!

Anakin fixed his robes for what felt like the tenth time in the last ten minutes, part of him chastising himself for being this anxious over nothing but a bigger part of him worried that they weren’t laying properly, or that his hair was sticking up in a weird direction, or that there was something stuck in his teeth.

Not that you would ever judge him for any of that of course. In fact, he already knew exactly what you would do. You would fix whatever it was yourself, an amused giggle slipping out as you approached to rake your hands through his hair attempting to tame every stray piece until you were satisfied, a light smile never dropping from your face throughout the process.

Another part of him considered messing up something on purpose just so he could see that smile.

But no that was a bit ridiculous even for him. You were expected to land any minute now and spend the next week in meetings preparing to address the senate, and Anakin was to be your guard for the entire time. He’d have plenty of time to earn your smile, hopefully without needing to embarrass himself.

The sound of the door opening snapped him out of his thoughts. Anakin quickly jumping to his feet, holding his hands rigidly in front of him and taking a deep breath.

A loud voice sounded before he saw anyone, a list of meetings and notes being rattled off by one of your aids loudly as in strolled your own personal security guard, the man immediately noticing Anakin and giving him a small nod before scanning the room, you following in close behind him.

Anakin couldn’t help but grin as you entered the room, your attention completely absorbed by the datapad you held in your hand, eyes skimming across the screen rapidly as you read, offering small hums of acknowledgment as your aide continued to rattle off messages.

You walked right by without even noticing, going on autopilot to your desk and setting the pad down, not sitting yourself but rather standing over it, stretching your legs as you continued to read. Anakin couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath at the sight, vividly remembering your conversation with him after your last flight into Coruscant about how the long flight made your legs ache, you refusing to sit for as long as possible afterwards in an attempt to get blood flowing back to your toes.

“Allana has senator-“ and finally your gaze rose from the pad, instinctively heading towards your aide’s form but snapping to Anakin the minute you realized there was another person in the room, brows furrowed for a moment before you recognized him “An- uh jedi Skywalker?”

His lips ticked up at the near slipup, giving you a small bow “senator it’s nice to see you”

“It’s nice to see you too” and the confused expression returned to your face, eyes snapping to your guard then aide for a moment before returning “Is there something I can help you with?”

It was now Anakin’s turn to wear the confused expression “I was under the assumption that you had requested extra protection for your speech”

Your eyes snapped to your bodyguard, raising an eyebrow “Did we request extra protection?”

“We did” he nodded, pausing a brief second before continuing hesitantly “I figured it could be beneficial after what happened last time”

He could hear your sigh from across the room as your gaze snapped back to the datapad, quickly resuming your reading only making Anakin more confused.

“What happened last time?”

Your gaze snapped up to your guard, a silent threat sent across the room before your gaze connected with his, a smile painted on your lips that didn’t reach your eyes “nothing”

Anakin was already turning to Dex, your guard, a million questions on the tip of his tongue. He hadn’t been on Coruscant the last time you had made the trip out but he hadn’t heard of anything happening. What were you keeping from him? Instead of being able to ask, however, Allana spoke up, her voice slightly higher than usual as she sought to cut the tension in the air.

“Senator you’re needed at-“

You didn’t even let her finish, grabbing your datapad off the table and waving her off “of course senator Elan’s meeting thank you Allana” and without even looking back at him you were headed back out the door, your entourage filing out behind you leaving Anakin to bring up the rear, trying to edge off his disappointment from your much too quick welcome.

You were back at your desk, the same place you had been all day if not in a meeting, typing away furiously at your speech before you, not taking notice of Anakin’s approach until he set the glass down before you.

He’d made you your favorite, the same one you always had whenever you came to Coruscant, usually shared with Anakin while the two of you talked before bed. He always missed those talks, one of the few times he felt like he could really talk about himself not in relation to the jedi order, one of the few times he got to actually hear from you, not the senator.

You smiled up at him as he set it down and Anakin felt a warmth spread through his chest at that look, feeling that finally you were looking at him for the first time all day, not the curious jedi showing up in your room or the hired guard standing off in the corner, just a friend who made you a drink. “Thanks Ani”

And oh how he missed hearing that nickname from you, a grin creeping on his lips as he clinked his own glass softly against yours, rising it to his lips in an attempt to hide it as he sat down in one of the chairs before your desk, settling in as you went back to typing, finishing out a few more words before finally taking the glass.

“Where’s Dex?”

You shrugged back at him, eyes casting back to your screen as you read over whatever you had written “I told him he could go to bed, you’re up to guard me”

He nodded back at your answer, taking another sip of his drink before responding “It is rather late are you heading to bed soon yourself?”

He watched your eyes jump to the nearest clock, eyebrows jumping up slightly as you read the time, an exhausted sigh escaping as you rubbed a hand over your face “Today went by much too quickly”

He chuckled softly at you as you shut down your system, picking up your glass as you walked down around your desk to sit in the chair next to him, angling your body to face him “I guess time flies when you’re having fun” he offered.

You laughed at that, shaking your head softly “oh is that what this is?”

A comfortable silence fell over the two of you and Anakin always loved how he never felt the need to fill silences like this when they came up between the two of you, more than happy to just sit in your company.

“How’s Obi-wan doing?” You asked him, a small smile growing on Anakin’s face.

“He’s good, he’s off world on an assignment right now”

“You’re not with him?”

“No there’s this senator who requested extra protection for this speech she’s giving” he responded innocently “extra protection her team requested due to some incident she stupidly won’t tell me about”

You hummed back in response and Anakin couldn’t help but notice the way you seemed to struggle to keep your eyes open, your posture completely slumped over in your chair as you used it to support your head “maybe this senator has a very good reason for that”

“I doubt it” he responded with a soft shake of his head “maybe this senator should go get some sleep before she falls asleep in her office chair”

That seemed to snap you back to attention, your posture pushing you back up slightly as you made extra effort to make eye contact with him, groaning slightly as you did so “no I’m okay”

“oh yeah you look it” he hummed back with a smirk, pushing himself to his feet and offering you his hand.

“No come on talk to me. I haven’t gotten to talk to you in months I miss it” and he felt his heartstrings tug at your words, his smirk growing into a softer smile as he chuckled slightly.

“Then it’s a good thing you’ve got me for a whole week” he mused “but right now you look like you need sleep badly so come on”

With a small roll of your eyes you took his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. And he tried to ignore the fact that he had stood too close to your feet when he pulled you up, tried to pretend it hadn’t been his intention when your body was nearly pressed against his once you were standing, tried to disregard the way his body seemed to hum from the close contact before he stepped aside and slipped a soft hand to the small of your back to usher you forward.

“You know I think I can find my way back to my room from here” the amusement in your voice telling him that you didn’t mind.

“The council tasked me with protecting you this week and I’ll have you know I take my job very seriously” he told you, the mock sincerity in his own tone making you laugh, his heart swelling within his chest at the sound.

“I’ll be sure to leave you a glowing review with the council then, five stars for jedi Skywalker” you slowed outside your door, pushing it open but spinning around to lean against the doorway and face him, Anakin relishing the soft smile that graced your lips as you looked up at him.

“I certainly hope that your scale is out of five stars” he practically hummed the words, taking a cautious step closer to you eagerly noting the way the corners of your mouth lifted even higher as he did so.

“oooh unfortunately my scale is out of ten stars” you scrunched up your face in a grimace, a small shake to your head as your eyes bounced back and forth between his own “you lost some back there when you made me go to bed instead of staying to talk to me”

“It’s a good thing I have all week to earn them back then” he mused with a smirk, leaning softly forward.

And by this point it would be so easy, so easy to lean down and close the distance, so easy to capture your lips into his own, so easy to pull you by the waist against his chest, so so easy….so so over the line.

He halted his movements the second the thought occurred to him, the realization that any push forward would be without a doubt crossing a line. And he wasn’t just talking about the jedi’s line, he could reconcile with disobeying the code, but this would be crossing your own as well. He was your hired guard, a man whose sole responsibility it was to protect you, surely you wouldn’t want someone like that acting the way he so desperately wanted to, crossing that professionalism boundary.

It'd been quiet for too long, Anakin too in his own head to realize it until it was too late, until your smile started to slowly slip off your lips, a ghost of one remaining as you spoke, soft and sweet “Goodnight Ani”

And he tried to ignore the effect that nickname had on him as he forced himself to take a step back, giving you a small nod “goodnight senator”

“Y/N” the correction came quickly.

And he would pretend that he hadn’t done it on purpose, used your title instead of your name just so that you would correct him, assert in this moment at least that your relationship went beyond just senator and jedi guard. He would pretend that right now that was enough.

“Goodnight Y/N”

Anakin struggled to sleep that night, not that that was unexpected after what he had nearly done in your doorway, so it was no surprise that he was up early and dragging himself towards the dinning room of your apartment before the sun had even a chance to rise.

What was surprising was to see you already at the table, a piece of toast in one hand, a document you were reading over in the other.

“You’re already up?” he didn’t bother to disguise the shock in his voice, his brows furrowing at the sight.

“Had some work to get done” you shrugged, not taking your eyes off the document “figured I’d get an early start”

Slowly he made his way around the table to the chair beside you, his eyes never leaving your figure as he tried to piece out what information it felt like he was missing, his gaze quickly catching the dark bags under your eyes and the slow lethargic blinks you were giving the paper “how long have you been up?”

“Not long” another shrug, another avoidance.

“You look like you’re on the brink of collapsing” he pushed a teasing tone into his voice, hoping making light of the situation would get you to drop whatever guard you still had up “you don’t have any meetings for another few hours why don’t you go back to sleep for a little longer”

Finally you turned your head to look at him, Anakin easily seeing through your every attempt to appear more awake, the way your posture straightened, the way your gaze widened slightly, the small uptick in one side of your mouth as you forced a smile, a façade created solely for his benefit “I’m okay Ani”

“And you’d tell me if you weren’t?” he asked skeptically.

This got an amused snort out of you as you turned back to your work, a more real smile gracing your lips “probably not”

And for now he decided to drop it, to let you have whatever secret you were keeping from him, to let you have one sleepless night “next time I’m asking for a less stubborn senator”

You laughed at that, a fond shake of your head as you glanced over at him “nice try I know I’m your favorite”

You have no idea.

He found you in the same place as the night before, your head propped up lazily on your fist as you stared down at the page before you on the desk, your other hand slowly taking notes with movements that were far too large and far too lazy to be anything legible. “Senator we have got to stop meeting like this” he teased from the doorway, a brief flick up of your eyes the only sign that you had heard him “you behind your desk nearly falling asleep in the chair, me walking in telling you to go to bed. Feels awfully familiar”

“Y/N” your soft voice quietly protested; your head still propped in the same position as you ignored the rest of his sentence.

“Y/N let’s go to bed” He dropped his voice to a low, calm pitch, stepping into the room and up to your desk, watching you slowly push yourself into a more upright position.

“No I need to finish this” you objected with a sigh, digging the heels of your hands into your eyes as you stretched in your chair.

He couldn’t help but chuckle fondly at the movement, his eyes darting down to the page you were taking notes on “sweetheart your notes aren’t even legible.”

Your head snapped down to the page as well, taking in what looked like nothing more than a series of random loops that were supposed to be your notes “shit”

“yeah” he chuckled softly, head nodding to behind him as he spoke “come on you can do it in the morning.”

“No I need to-“ objections poured out of your mouth again but Anakin barely heard them as he made his way around your desk to crouch down next to you, your voice halting once Anakin placed the crook of his finger beneath your chin, pulling your gaze to him.

“When was the last time you slept?” he asked softly, taking in the way every feature of yours screamed of exhaustion “and don’t say last night I know that’s a lie”

You let out a sigh at that, pulling your face back from his grasp “I mean I did sleep some last night”

“When was the last time you slept more than an hour?” he countered.

That question silenced you, your gaze fixed on the work in front of you, your voice so soft when you finally did answer Anakin had to strain to hear it “I don’t know”

“Exactly” he sighed, reaching down to grab one of your wrists, giving it a small tug “come on you need to sleep.”

“I don’t want to sleep” and he knew it wasn’t just because of work, but he wasn’t going to push, not yet.

“Okay, you said last night you wanted to talk what if we did that instead?”

Your head rose to meet his gaze slowly, your brows furrowed slightly as you looked up at him skeptically “yeah?”

“Yeah” he nodded with a smirk “but only If you’re laying down in bed”

You groaned at that, your body slumping forward so that your forehead hit your desk.

“Come on” he laughed, using a hand on your shoulder to pull you back up to sitting position, giving it a soft squeeze before reluctantly removing it “you don’t want to sleep? Fine, but at least lay down. A compromise” he tried to convince you with a small chuckle “and here I thought you’d be proud of my negotiating abilities as a senator and all.”

That finally earned him a laugh, then another groan as you pushed yourself to your feet “can’t believe you’re using this power for evil.”

“If you weren’t so stubborn I wouldn’t have to” he hummed back softly, leading you down the hallway and to your room, giving you a chance to change and brush your teeth before ushering you to your bed and taking a seat on the ground beside it.

“You know it’s a big bed” you offered softly, sleep already pulling your voice down to a near mumble “you can sit up here.”

“I’m good right here” he responded softly as he leaned his back against your mattress, his position putting him mere inches from your resting form above.

A hand was cast carefully down over the edge of the mattress and before Anakin could think otherwise he reached up and tangled his fingers with yours, choosing to believe you offered it to him by doing so, accepting that perhaps it was just the position you liked to sleep in even as you hummed happily from above him as he rubbed the pad of his thumb lazily back and forth on your finger.

“Can we talk yet?” your voice was muffled from your position on the mattress, but Anakin didn’t complain, keeping up the rhythmic motions of his thumb as he responded in a soft voice barely above a whisper.

“What do you want to talk about sweetheart?”

“Tell me about your last mission” you supplied immediately a smile rising on Anakin’s face as he started to tell the story, barely paying attention to his own words as he instead focused on the sound of your breathing, waiting until it started to slow and deepen.

He stopped talking once it did, his thumb slowing to a halt only after he made sure you hadn’t noticed the silence, only then daring to press a soft kiss to your knuckles before pushing himself to his feet and out the door. A soft “goodnight Y/N” whispered from the doorway before he shut the door behind him.

Not long after Anakin had fallen asleep a disturbance in the force was dragging him back to consciousness. It took a few seconds to orient himself as he sat up in bed, part of his brain trying to take in his surroundings while the other part was screaming that something was wrong.

His body reacted before his mind did, his feet were on the ground and pulling him towards you before anything else, his only instinct being to get to you.

Saber hilt in hand he threw open your bedroom door, eyes rapidly scanning the empty room before falling on your sleeping form as your head whipped back and forth, soft whimpers falling from your lips as your legs tangled up in the sheets.

With a small sigh in relief Anakin set his saber down on your bedside table before making his way over to you, a hand coming to your shoulder to give your body a small shake.

Your eyes shot open immediately, a surprised yelp escaping your lips the same moment, as one foot reared up and made contact with his torso.

A grunt left Anakin as he was pushed backwards by your kick, your form scrambling up the bed to get further away from him, loud ragged breaths coming from you as you curled up defensively in a ball as far away from him as you could.

“Hey hey it’s okay” he tried to soothe you, one hand coming up but refusing to take a step towards you yet, giving you a moment to calm down.

Your heavy breaths were the only thing filling the silence in the room as you offered no response, your form staying tightly curled in on itself as Anakin practically begged you to answer him.

“Y/N you’re safe, it’s just me, it’s Anakin” he tried again.

Your breaths halted at his words, your form remaining unmoving, Anakin risked a step forward.

“It’s just me”

“Ani?” Your broken voice had his knees shaking, Anakin having to fight to urge to rush to you knowing that would likely just set you off again.

“Yeah that’s right it’s just me sweetheart”

Another tense silence passed between the two of you before you spoke again, your voice slightly stronger “Ani? Ani, oh god I’m so sorry-“

Anakin didn’t let you finish, taking your words to mean he was okay to approach as he closed the distance between the two of you in a few steps and scooped you up into his arms as he sat down on the bed.

You didn’t hesitate to curl up in his arms, taking the opportunity to bury your face in his chest, slow shaky breaths wracking your body as you fought more tears.

“You got nothing to apologize for sweetheart” he tried to assure you, running a hand softly through your hair as he held you tightly against himself.

Your breaths started to slowly even out as your muscles started to untense, your body slowly relaxing in his hold. Only once you had completely calmed down did Anakin speak again, burying his face in your hair “do you want to talk about it?”

You didn’t respond, something Anakin certainly didn’t blame you for, simply held you against him, rocking softly as he continued to stroke your hair.

After a few more minutes you started to shift in his arms and Anakin had to fight the instinct to hold on tighter, to not let you escape. Nonetheless he forced his arms to go slack to allow for your movement, feeling relieved when all you did was shift until your back was against his chest. Anakin eagerly wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you against him once again, the two of you sitting in a comfortable silence.

“Last time we were here” your voice was soft enough that even from his position just behind you he struggled to hear “a man broke in and hid in my room”

Anakin’s movements stilled at that, his entire body freezing for a moment as his brain struggled to process your words.

“I just woke up and he was there at the end of my bed” you continued in an empty, hollow voice “I screamed and Dex came and took care of it. Nothing happened, nothing” and here it felt like you were trying to assure yourself more than him “but still I’ve been having nightmares about it ever since”

And as usual Anakin’s first instinct was to reach for anger, ire rising within him towards the jedi council for not telling him, towards Obi-wan who had to have known, towards Dex for letting him act as your guard without all the facts, towards himself for not having picked up on it sooner.

But as you shook slightly in his arms he knew his anger wouldn’t serve him properly here, lashing out at anyone wouldn’t fix anything, it wasn’t what you needed now.

His hold on you tightened, pulling you further into his chest as his chin sat comfortably in the crook of your neck, mumbling the question against your skin “sweetheart why didn’t you say anything?”

You sniffled, your cheek resting comfortably against his for a second before you answered “It’s stupid”

“It’s not-“ Anakin’s objection came quickly but your affirmation followed shortly, as if you had been expecting it.

“It is, he didn’t even hurt me, didn’t threaten me, just startled me and now months later I’m still too scared to sleep? It’s pathetic”

“You are far from pathetic” You could feel Anakins words against your skin as he spoke, his face lifting off your shoulder to press a kiss to the back of your head “A man broke into your room and you found him looming over you while you slept, that is objectively terrifying.”

He felt you sigh against him, the words clearly not fully sinking in.

“Besides its not entirely about what had happened, which I cannot stress enough is horrible, but rather the idea of what could have happened. Maker Y/N why are you even still in this room? You should’ve taken mine”

You were quiet for a bit, a deep breath inflating your chest against him before you responded “I thought if I stayed here I could force myself to get over it, to try and be braver than it”

He shook his head at that, unable to keep the fond smirk from growing on his lips at your answer “You’re plenty brave for even taking this apartment after last time, staying in the same room is just stupid”

That earned him a wet laugh, a few chuckles that had you relaxing slightly in his hold “Will you stay with me, please?”

The thought of leaving hadn’t even occurred to him “Sweetheart you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried”

Another small set of chuckles, your body further melding with his as you relaxed even further, exhaustion finally starting to take over.

“Except not here, come on lets go back to my room”

You shook your head at that, leaning it back against his chest “no it’s okay-“

“Please” he cut you off with a near whisper “for me please don’t force yourself to stay in this room”

Nothing but the feeling of your breaths against his chest for a few moments before a reluctant nod “yeah okay”

Anakin smiled satisfactorily at that, slowly, reluctantly releasing his hold on you to allow you to stand up, not hesitating before taking your hand and intertwining his fingers with yours, pulling you out of the room behind him before you could object.

Walking into his room Anakin didn’t hesitate to slip into one side of the bed, watching you carefully as you stood apprehensively at the edge of the bed on the other side, slow choppy movements in your limbs as you reached for the covers and carefully got into the other side, taking care to stay on your side.

But after tonight there was no more overthinking, no more worrying about crossing the line, no more talking himself out of things. You needed him and to Anakin that superseded everything.

As soon as your head hit the pillow Anakin scootched up behind you, throwing an arm around your waist and pulling you up against his chest, chuckling at the small gasp that left you at the movement.

But you didn’t pull away, your muscles tense for a moment as you adjusted before you relaxed against him, one foot coming back to tangle your legs with his own, burying yourself further into his chest as Anakin offered a content hum.

“For the record I really would have been okay with staying in my own room as long as you were there” You whispered back at him “you make me feel safe Ani”

He tightened the hold on you even more at your words, a smile so wide it hurt his cheeks overtaking his face as he buried it in your hair “alright we can try that tomorrow then”

“tomorrow?” you teased easily, any tension from the circumstances of your present predicament slowly fading from the room “awfully sure of yourself there aren’t you?”

“I told you sweetheart, you couldn’t get rid of me if you tried”

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starlazergazer · 10 months

Text

Pinky Promise

Pairing: Anakin x Reader

Request/Summary: One bed trope! / The reader follows Anakin into a dangerous warzone making him upset that she would put herself in harms way like that

Warnings: Some swearing

Word Count: 5k

A/N: I know the request was just for a simple one bed trope but for some reason I made this super angsty so I hope y’all still like it! As always let me know what you think and I greatly appreciate everyone reading these! I love you!!

You sat across from Anakin in the cafeteria, fork, along with your appetite, long since abandoned on your too full plate before you.

“You’re really being sent to Orto Plutonia?” You asked the same question for what had to have been at least the fifth time since he had told you of the mission, still unable to fully wrap your head around it, still unable to fully accept it.

Anakin, however, barely spared you a glance as he took another bite of his food, shrugging slightly as he spoke “yeah It’ll be pretty cold but I think I can handle it”

And a part of you wanted to hate him for how nonchalant he was being about it. How he seemed to look the danger, the imminent threat to his life in the face and shrug. Another part of you, however, knew it was a façade erected fully for your benefit. Distracting your worry with a joke, an all too Anakin Skywalker think to do. “You know that’s not why I’m worried”

His eyes met yours briefly as his fork froze midair, a brief second passing as he took in your features before dropping the utensil and pushing the plate of food to the side, a soft chuckle as he shook his head “I’ve been in active warzones before Y/N, it’ll be fine”

You rolled your eyes at his attempt to brush you off, a small sigh escaping you as you crossed your arms defensively over you “I know but the Talz are known for their brutality, back home they’re the myth you tell stories about to scare children-“ and you paused as you watch him listen to you, watched the concern sink in but not for his upcoming mission, rather for you “Just be careful okay?”

A soft smirk grew over his lips as he chuckled “hey I’m always careful”

And you couldn’t help it but laugh back, Anakin’s laugh never failing to pull a similar one out of you “Every story Obi-wan has ever told me speaks contrary to that fact”

He scoffed dramatically at that, a hand coming up to his chest in mock hurt as he leaned back slightly “and you would believe Obi-wan over me?”

“Any day Skywalker” you smirked back at him, picking a piece of food off his plate and tossing it into your mouth.

He pretended to object at your theft of his food, but the way his eyes cut down to your own full plate showed the façade for what it was. He was just glad you were eating, even if it was his food. “yeah that’s probably fair”

And with that you let the comfortable silence fall between the two of you, eyes dancing back and forth between his for a moment before you couldn’t help yourself, hands coming forward to rest on his, pulling all his remaining attention (not that any of it was really straying) back to you “I’m serious Ani, please be careful”

His smile never slipped from his lips as he nodded, his voice dropping to a quieter tone as he said earnestly “I’ll be careful, I promise”

Finally deciding to believe him you raised your hands from his, raising one pinky and offering it to him with a raised brow.

Anakin laughed softly but nonetheless obliged, taking his own pinky and wrapping it around yours, whispering softly over the top of your hands “pinky promise”

You weren’t surprised that Anakin was the first one to greet you when you landed, no doubt he had identified your ship the moment it broke into the atmosphere. You weren’t even surprised at the confusion on his face as the dock slowly lowered, the slight panic that took over his features, something you had told yourself was bound to come as he recognized you, as you descended onto the planet’s surface.

“Y/N what are you doing here?” His voice was strained slightly, eyes flitting around to each of your companions as if they could explain what he was seeing.

“My job” you answered simply, keeping your head held high as you marched past him, Anakin’s shock freezing him place for mere moments before he jogged ahead, coming to a stop before you, effectively blocking your path.

“Y/N this is an active war zone” he stated it as if you simply hadn’t known where you had landed, as if you hadn’t been the one to give him those same words of warning just days ago.

“I know” you answered calmly “I’m here to negotiate” and again you tried to push past him.

This time, however, a hand at your elbow halted your movement, holding you in place in front of him “no you’re not” his tone here this time did surprise you, the finality in it, the slight edge of a threat he pushed into it. For the first time in your life you truly felt like you were talking to the jedi Anakin Skywalker and not your friend.

“Yes I am” you insisted, trying to pull his grip off you but he held on, squeezing not hard enough to hurt but hard enough to make extracting yourself from him difficult.

“Go home Y/N” the condescension in his tone had you gritting your teeth, as if you were a child he was punishing, as if he had any authority to tell you what to do.

Looking up at him through your lashes you clenched your jaw, seeing that he was already doing the same, standing firm in his position “I’m here as the senator of Pantora now take your hand off me General Skywalker and let me do my job”

“Your job is back on Coruscant-“ Anakin took a step closer as he spoke, his voice dropping slightly lower, though you stopped listening after just a few words, your eyes flitting to the horizon more than happy to recognize a familiar face just a few yards off.

“General Kenobi it’s good to see you” you called loudly over Anakin’s shoulder, relishing the way he froze slightly at the sound of his master’s name, the soft curse the left his lips as you felt his fingers slip from your elbow allowing you to push past him, careful not to look up at him as you did so, keeping your eyes on Obi-wan as you extended a hand out to greet him.

“Senator Y/L/N it’s good to see you as well” Obi-wan greeted you with a confused smile “I wasn’t aware you would be joining us”

“I was sent here to negotiate peace with the Talz” you explained in what you hoped wasn’t a too insincere smile, something that became harder to force as you heard the thinly vailed anger in Anakin’s voice from over your shoulder.

“Pantora has no jurisdiction over this planet”

You grit your teeth as you tried to keep calm, not even bothering to look in his direction as you answered “As the only other inhabited planet in this sector the senate decided I could serve as negotiator on this matter”

“Well we’re glad to have you” Obi-wan broke in before Anakin could get off a word, sending a small glare over to his former padawan as he addressed you “the sooner we can resolve this peacefully the better, I’ve already lost enough men”

“I completely agree general” you nodded at him before casting your eyes off into the distance “I here chairman Cho is here I would like to speak with him-“

Anakin cut you off before you could finish, his voice sounding closer than before “Senator could I speak with you for a moment?”

And for the first time you spun around to meet Anakin’s gaze, not missing the malcontent fire that raged beneath the surface ‘I’m afraid I really must speak to chairman Cho” you offered with a sickeningly sweet smile.

“It will be quick” he insisted firmly.

Leaving you with no more to really say you nodded reluctantly, giving Obi-wan a small smile as you followed him off to the side, Anakin waiting until he was out of earshot before turning on you. “really? There was no one else who could’ve come?”

“Did you miss the part about Pantora being the only other planet inhabited in this sector?” You countered, matching the barely held rage he had in his voice.

“You were the one that was just warning me about how dangerous it was to be here” he exclaimed, gesturing vaguely to the sounds of blaster fire over the horizon.

“And you came anyways because it was your job, and now my job has brought me here too same as you” you crossed your arms defensively over your chest.

“So you pretend to be sick, or you give any sort of excuse to get you out of this trip because anyone could’ve come here to negotiate. Chairman cho is even already here as a negotiator” he countered in exasperation only making you shake your head.

“And you see how well that’s been going, how many of your own clone troopers have you lost already to this fight?”

You could practically see the rage boil up inside of him, hands coming to his hips as his intense gaze broke from yours, a loud exhale sounding from him as he took a step back, shaking his head before he looped back around to stand in front of you, hand coming up to pinch the bridge of his nose “you can’t be here Y/N it’s not-“

“I am here general Skywalker” you broke him off sharply “I’m here to do my job and I’m not leaving till it’s done, now if you excuse me I’m going to speak to the chairman”

Anakin caught your arm before you could move, holding you in place once again as his gaze bore down into your own, a soft plea edging into his must softer tone as he spoke “Please Y/N”

And admittedly you felt the fire within you die at the sound, your chest hollowing as you looked up at Anakin, never finding it easy to say no to him. “The sooner I do my job the sooner we can all get out of here”

Again there was a flicker in the muscle of his jaw as he clenched it, his eyes hardening slightly as he recognized your resolve in the matter, giving you a loud, long exhale before releasing your arm with a small nod. Clearly not agreeing with your decision to stay, but at least finally recognizing he could do nothing about it.

Without saying anything more you returned the nod before turning around and heading towards the main encampment, Anakin never more than two steps behind you.

By the end of the day you were practically dragging your feet towards the inn the squadron had rented a few rooms in to stay for the night.

Your day had been spent in meetings entirely with the republics side so far and Anakin had been right at your side for each and every one of them, offering one hell of a glare to anyone who so much as mentioned meeting with the Talz.

He made it beyond difficult to focus as with every step he was always just a bit too close, looming over you at every corner, anger radiating off of him in massive waves, making it abundantly clear to not only you but everyone you met with that he didn’t think you should be there thereby undercutting your authority at every opportunity.

You had at least thought you could get some sort of break from him for the night but upon reaching the inn you learned that you were to share a room with two beds, meaning not a single moment since you landed on this planet could be spent outside of Anakin Skywalker’s disappointed glare.

Nevertheless, you sucked it up as he followed you up the stairs to your room, knowing that any argument from your side could set him off again, could have him yelling at you to go back to Coruscant, and right now you’ll take stoic anger over animated yelling any day,

Without so much as a word in his direction you stuck the key into the door of your room, pushing it open with your hip and coming to a dead stop as you looked inside, your eyes landing on the one massive bed taking up the majority of the space in the room instead of the two it was supposed to house.

You spun around on the spot before Anakin could come in any farther, planting one hand on the doorframe physically baring entry “you’re finding another room”

He gave you a brief confused look before casting his eyes above your head, surveying the furniture with a small, annoying smirk “nice try”

“absolutely not” you tried to stop his train of thought before it could get any farther “go bunk with obi-wan or something”

And in response you saw his jaw clench just as it had countless times today, his arms coming up to cross over his chest, telling you he was ready to put up a fight “I’m not leaving you alone”

“It’s for 8 hours while everyone sleeps” you argued back, feeling the anger flicker like hot fire in your chest.

“and what would the council think if I left the one senator on Orto Plutonia completely defenseless for 8 hours?”

You could have laughed in his face at the question, your response coming back without any real thought necessary “and since when have you ever cared about what the council thought?”

“Since it came to your safety” his answer came back just as quick, just as reflexive, making your own anger die in your throat.

“Do you realize what you being here does to your safety” he seemed to demand an answer more than ask, though instead carried on without waiting for one “both sides want a war, you have to see that”

“That’s why I’m here” you cut in angrily, crossing your arms over your chest “to negotiate peace and stop that”

“You’re here as the perfect target” he shook his head, breaking down his thought process as if he were talking to a child “if either side can get the other to take you out they can mark that as an unmotivated attack and declare war, blaming the other for starting it. You being here paints a massive target on your back.”

“So-“ you started to shoot back but he cut you off, stepping forward just enough to tower over you.

“So that’s why I’m here, that’s why I’m always two steps behind you, and that’s why we will be sharing a room tonight even if I have to sleep on the floor” and he pushed past you as if you hadn’t been standing in his way, grabbing one of the pillows from the bed and throwing it onto the ground at the foot of it.

“So I should’ve just stayed on Coruscant?” you asked him as you shut the door behind you “just let them go on bombing each other until one eventually surrenders”

“Yes” he answered simply, not even bothering to look at you as he took off his cloak and laid it on the floor next to his pillow.

“You don’t really believe that” you scoffed “those are your men out there suffering the consequences of this ongoing violence, someone needed to come out here and put an end to it”

“And did that someone need to be you?” His head snapped up to meet your gaze as he raised his eyebrows slightly, silently daring you to say otherwise.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at the same question he had asked earlier, shaking your head slightly as you started to make your way to the bed, ready to let him brood on the floor for the night if that was what he wanted.

“No look at me” His serious tone froze you in place, not missing the way his voice had softened, even if his posture remained as rigid as ever. “I’m serious tell me the truth, did you need to be the one to come out here to negotiate or did the republic just want to send a senator”

And all you could do was clench your jaw in response, bite down the words that sprang forth. The lies and the truths because at this point you weren’t sure any more which would be worse.

Anakin, however, read your silence like a book.

He deflated slightly on the spot, his eyes closing as he shook his head, his hand coming up to pinch at the bridge of his nose “damnit Y/N”

“You were here!” you objected quickly “what was I supposed to do just abandon you out here?”

“Yes!” He broke in quickly, matching your volume as both of your voices raised “I can handle myself. You were the one warning me about being here why the fuck would you think it would be a good idea to come here yourself?”

“You were the one that brushed off my warning” you pointed out “you acted like my fears were unfounded that being here was no big deal”

“Because I didn’t want you to worry”

And you let that statement hang in the air for a moment, let its ridiculous nature ruminate a little as you watched Anakin’s chest rise and fall rapidly with his pent-up anger.

“You really think that would be all it takes to make me not worry about you?”

He rolled his eyes at your response with an exasperated sigh, turning away from you deliberately and sitting down on his makeshift bed on the floor, trying to physically shut down the conversation.

“No you’re angry right now because I’m putting myself in danger, because you’re worried about me, how do you think I feel every time you leave?”

“Just drop it Y/N” he tried to shrug you off, laying down on his pillow on the hard ground.

But still you pressed on “Every time you run off on a new mission, putting yourself on the front lines of some battle you think I don’t worry just like this? You think I’m a stranger to exactly how you’re feeling right now?” You scoffed “I’m so sorry that for once it has to be you worrying about me”

Anakin sat up suddenly, turning to face you, his jaw clenched so tightly you could see the muscle through his skin “the difference is it’s my job. I’m a general, I’ve been trained to be on the front lines, to protect myself, to fight battles. You’re a senator, your job-“

“-is to negotiate peace and advocate for those who can’t speak for themselves” you broke in before he could answer, eyebrows raised silently daring him to say otherwise “which is exactly what I’m doing here”

With a bitter chuckle he shook his head, twisting back around to lay down “fine then you do your job, let me do mine”

“fine”

And with that you turned back towards the bed, getting ready to climb into it when you looked down at Anakin, laying without a blanket on the hard floor, arms wrapped pathetically around himself as he faced the wall.

And even though you were still reeling from your fight a bit of guilt started to creep into you. Because even though you still thought he was going overboard and being ridiculous you had been telling the truth when you said you knew firsthand how he felt.

You’d spent too many nights staying up waiting for any info regarding his safety, waiting for him to finally land on Coruscant, waiting for him to be okay. You knew his anger was coming from a good place, even if it still didn’t give him the right to be a jerk about it, and even more you knew exactly what sleeping on the hard floor all night would do to him.

Stalking over to where he lay on the floor you gave his feet a soft kick “come on there’s enough room on the bed for the both of us”

“I’m fine” he shrugged you off, not even bothering to look in your direction.

With a roll of your eyes and a frustrated groan you stalked over to the bed and grabbed a pillow off of it, throwing it to the ground making sure it made a loud thump before sitting down next to it.

Your display had the desired effect. Shortly after Anakin was pushing himself up to a sitting position and spinning around to look at you, a very unamused expression gracing his features. “what’re you doing?”

“You don’t take the bed I don’t take the bed” you answered simply, making a show of fluffing your pillow.

“You’re being ridiculous” he groaned, rubbing a tired hand over his face in exasperation.

“Oh so you are aware of the concept” you goaded him with a raised brow, fighting the smirk off your face as he glared back at you.

“You’re gonna wake up tomorrow with a sore back, just take the bed”

“And you know some magical way of sleeping that won’t make yours sore tomorrow?”

“Y/N-“

“You think it’s your job to protect me then why would you risk a sore back on something as stupid as sleeping on the floor” you cut him off before he could continue, crossing your arms over your chest, knowing you had trapped him.

And to your delight you watched him clench his jaw in response, watched a deep breath rack through him before he stood, marching across the room towards you, fierce gaze never straying from your eyes as he did so. You fought the urge to shrink from it.

Wordlessly he took your pillow from the ground and threw it onto one side of the bed, pausing for one moment to look down at you still sitting on the floor before making his way back across the room to grab his own pillow and bring it to the other side of the bed before silently sliding onto the mattress, back pointedly facing you.

And though a million passive aggressive comments flowed to your tongue you bit back each, knowing when to accept your victory. You pushed yourself to your feet and crawled into bed next to him, careful to make as little movement as possible as you did so lest you set him off more.

A heavy silence filled the room as you stared out at the wall, unable to even think about going to sleep after what had just happened. Luckily, it would seem Anakin had the same predicament.

“I don’t just think it’s my job to protect you”

His voice didn’t hold any of the anger, the malice you would have expected. Rather it was soft, sad even. A voice that was begging to by listened to.

“You don’t have orders to be my bodyguard” you responded back, careful to keep your tone even and your voice low “Obi-wan out ranks you here and I know he’s given no such order so if anything he would be”

“I don’t care about orders” his response came quickly, desperately “I just want you to be safe”

You took a beat to let his words sink in, to mull them over, to formulate your own response, before you turned onto your back, not fully facing him but a half truce.

“My job isn’t any less important than yours”

Your words were met with silence, clearly a response Anakin hadn’t been expecting.

“Other senators could’ve been sent but these are my people, or if not my people than my neighbors. I’m the only one with skin in the game. I’m the one with the best chance to end things before too many people end up dead.”

“And if you end up dead?”

You were surprised to see how quickly and naturally your answer came to you “then at least they can say I died trying”

Another silence blanketed the room, not quite as tense as the last but nonetheless uncomfortable, before you heard Anakin shift positions from his side of the bed. A look out of the corner of your eye telling you he was lying on his back too, the both of you staring up at the ceiling above you. It wasn’t much but it felt like a start, and for now that could be enough.

You woke slowly the next morning, too much light filtering into the room drawing you back to consciousness but stubbornness kept your eyes closed, refusing to let go of the last remaining bit of sleep.

The bed beneath you was soft and warm, pulling a content groan from your lips as you shifted your position slightly, pulling the blanket up to your chin and digging your shoulder a bit deeper into the mattress, deciding to give yourself another few minutes before getting out of bed.

That was until you heard another soft groan echo yours. Your eyes shot open as you finally registered the unnatural extra weight draped around your middle, the hard body radiating heat pressed firmly against your back, the long legs intertwined with your own.

The arm draped around your waist tightened its hold, drawing you deeper into Anakin’s sleeping form, a content hum slipping past the jedi’s lips as you felt his breath tickle to top of your ear. “5 more minutes”

The low grumble of his morning voice had your cheeks heating up as you hid your face further into the blanket, taking the opportunity to tuck yourself even further into him, relishing the way his warmth fully encapsulated you. “5 more”

The hair around your ear stirred softly as the sharp exhale of a chuckle left his lips making you smile as well.

“I’m sorry Y/N”

Those words crashed you back to reality, pulling you out of the comfort of the present moment, of the security of Anakin’s tight hold on you, out of the strange familiarity of the present moment, and forced you back to the fight last night, to his reaction when you had landed, to the idea of being the subject of Anakin’s ire.

You rolled over onto your stomach, feeling Anakin’s arm reluctantly slide off you as you did so but pointedly not holding you in place, propping yourself up on your elbow to better look at him only to see his alert gaze already trained on you, one elbow propping himself up slightly.

You said nothing in response, waiting for him to expand, to prove that he knew what he did wrong, to prove that he truly meant the apology. And for a second he said nothing, blue eyes bouncing slowly back and forth between your own before he took a slow deep breath.

“I didn’t meant to imply that your job was less important than mine, or that you weren’t allowed to make your own decisions” he sighed softly, one hand coming out to you, soft fingertips just barely skimming over the skin of your cheek as he tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, hand sliding down to rest in the base of your neck for just a moment before retreating “I just liked it better when you were back on Coruscant and I knew you were safe”

You opened your mouth to reply but he shook his head softly.

“you showing up here with no warning, with no extra protection, with no apparent regard for your own safety…it scared me”

And looking up at him you could see the sincerity in his statement, it was in the soft draw of his brow, the slight pout of his lips, the desperate look in his eye. Reaching forward slightly you grabbed his hand and pulled it into yours, giving it a soft squeeze “I know but I needed to be here”

And a heartbeat passed, then two, a small silence starting to settle in a way that you knew meant he had brushed you off again, before he spoke. “I know”

A part of you was embarrassed by how much relief came from just those two words, a simple acknowledgement, but a bigger part of you knew better, knew the weight those words held, the unspoken understanding that had just settled between the two of you, and rejoiced in it.

You gave him a soft smile, bringing the knuckles of his hand up to your lips and pressing a soft kiss into the skin “thank you Ani”

He chuckled back down at you, the hand you held in yours coming up to give your cheek a soft pinch before he withdrew it, pulling you along with it, pulling your head to rest comfortably on his chest as he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into his side.

“Is this really how you feel every time I go?”

And you wanted to laugh at the ridiculous question, at how that could have never occurred to him. Instead you tried putting yourself in his shoes.

“I know you trained your whole life for this, and I know you can handle yourself, I fully trust that you can handle any situation you put yourself in” A soft sigh, a slight hiccup in Anakin’s breath as he waited for the inevitable ‘but’ “but of course I worry, of course I don’t want you to go. It kills me every time to watch you fly away to the next warzone”

“I’m sorry Y/N”

“Don’t be” you shrug him off without a second thought “it’s your job and you’re doing important work. I just need you to give me that same attitude when I have to do something dangerous for mine. You don’t get a monopoly on stupid, dangerous decisions”

You could hear his heart beating through his ribs, could feel his hand come up from your back to play softly with the ends of your hair, a low rumble reverberating up through his chest before he spoke again “If I promise to stop making stupid, dangerous decisions when I don’t have to will you do the same?”

You snorted at his question, craning your neck up to meet his gaze as you raised a brow “I’d like to see you try Skywalker”

He scoffed in mock offense “I could make smart, safe decisions”

“Sure” you chuckled, your gaze coming back down to rest your head in a comfortable position on his chest “do you even know how to properly use a ship’s landing gear?”

“I’ll have you know in many situations it was actually the safer decision to crash land the plane” he challenged back but you could hear the smile in his voice.

Shutting your eyes and burrowing your head further into him you hummed softly “sure name one”

His chest shook slightly as his laugh ruminated through his body but he offered no defense, letting the silence hang in the air for a moment before you saw his hand beside him move slightly towards your head, the pinky alone extended in your direction.

With a soft chuckle you shook your head softly, pulling your own pinky up to wrap around his, whispering the promise into his chest.

#anakin x reader #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x you #Anakin Skywalker #anakin fanfiction #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin imagine #anakin fic #anakin x y/n #anakin skywalker fic #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x y/n #star wars fanfiction #star wars imagine #star wars x you #star wars x reader

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starlazergazer · 10 months

Note

YOURE BACK OMG 😭😭 I’ve been checking your profile frequently to see if you’ve updated can’t wait to read the new story! Been totally obsessed with through the looking glass since I first read it absolutely amazing!

Ahhh thank you so much!!!! Say My Name and Everything Just Stops is super short and something I just wrote for fun so I really hope you enjoy it! But I'm so glad to know you're looking out for my work and I'm super glad you're here!!

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starlazergazer · 10 months

Text

Say My Name and Everything Just Stops

Pairing: Anakin x Reader

Summary: A short little piece about Anakin being totally enamored with you as you get dressed up for a ball

Warnings: None!

Word Count: 1.2k

A/N: This is something that’s been sitting in my drafts forever always figuring I’d work it into a story at some point but I think it stands on its own well but let me know what y’all think! I absolutely love hearing from you!!!!

A small chuckle fell from his lips at the look on your face, the way your eyebrows scrunched in concern, the way your heel danced in the air slightly as you pushed your weight forward to your toes.

“Here” he whispered to you, choosing to ignore the fact that he leaned in closer than necessary to do so, offering you his arm.

You sent him a small, grateful smile that had him fighting his own from growing even wider, before carefully placing your hand into the crook of his elbow.

It was a featherlight touch, one he might not have even noticed given the right circumstances, but you looking like that in that dress, staring up at him through your lashes, a pink tint in your cheeks from the embarrassment, that featherlight touch was all he could think of.

He worked to descend the stairs slowly, eyes never peeling from your form as you tired to hold your head high, to exude confidence, he was sure you had every eye in the building on you.

Then suddenly your heel snagged on the carpet unexpectedly, a small shift of your weight in his direction as you quickly corrected it, then that featherlight touch changed to you fully gripping his bicep.

And if he had thought that featherlight touch was distraction it was nothing compared to the electricity that ran through his arm from this new one.

You didn’t even acknowledge him as it happened, leaning into him for stability for a brief moment, subtle enough there was no way anyone had even noticed, but still Anakin reached up and patted your hand in a wordless question. You squeezed his arm back in response.

Finally, the two of you reached the ground floor, the stable ground putting even more confidence into you as your grip on his arm loosened, loosened but never fully let up, a fact that had Anakin grinning down at his shoes.

All too soon there was a swarm of people, the senator herself coming in to make introductions and Anakin held out his hand to each person without even listening to their name, his mind unable to stray far from the hand on his arm and the stunning woman that accompanied it.

And he tried not to resent the senator pulling you away for a hug for her welcome, but with the way your hand finally left his bicep, your fingers softly dragging down to his elbow then forearm as you were pulled away, the trail of sparks that were sent shooting beneath his skin at the small contact, the coldness of the area once you had finally vacated it, he found it incredibly hard not to.

Politely he forced himself through his own hello, a shake of her hand, a small peck on the cheek, a thank you for inviting him, and finally he was back in his own bubble of personal space, wishing that only one person in particular would invade it.

He held his hands clasped together in front of him and tried not to think about the way he pushed his elbows away from his torso, practically begging you to loop your arm through his again. He really tried not to think of the way you seemingly never took notice of that.

Suddenly it was just the two of you again, the welcome party slowly retreating with promises to catch up soon, and the two of you were staring at the dance floor.

And watching the way your eyes would sparkle looking at the other women’s twirling dresses, the small smile that graced your lips as you swayed slightly to the music, Anakin was physically pushing down the desire to ask you to dance.

You whirled back on him so suddenly Anakin barely had time to avert his gaze before you were looking back at him, that same small smile that didn’t really tell Anakin if you had caught him staring or not.

But then there was that grip on his arm again, this time higher, just below his shoulder, a soft squeeze that immediately had all of his attention, not that you didn’t already have it.

“I’m going to go get a drink”

And he was so enamored by that damn hand on his arm that he didn’t even have time to think about offering to get it himself, barely catching up to what had just happened by the time your hand was slipping away from him.

You hadn’t even made it to the bar before a hand was extended in your direction, an offer to dance, a grin on your lips as you accepted placing your hand in his as he led you to the dance floor.

And Anakin tried to focus on how happy you seemed, how eager you were to get to dance, how you grinned as you made polite conversation.

Instead, all he could focus on was the stranger’s hand sitting low on the small of your back, the way he stood way too close as the two of you swayed, the soft pink your cheeks turned at whatever he had whispered into your ear.

He was across the dance floor without a second thought.

Neither of you noticed his approach, the man tensing slightly at the tap on his shoulder, giving him a curt “do you mind” as he gestured to you.

“We just-“ he started before seeming to connect the dots, his eyes flicking between you and Anakin quickly as his brows rose slightly “I’m sorry I didn’t know it was like that”

“It’s not” your confused voice spoke as he finally backed away from you, finally dropped his arms from around you letting Anakin breathe a little easier.

“Well now you do” Anakin offered quickly, giving the man little more time to ask questions before stepping up to take his place, hands going to your hips pulling you into him as he started to sway, the stranger melting into the background immediately in his mind.

Your brow remained furrowed though, eyes bouncing between Anakin and the stranger behind him as your arms nonetheless snaked around his neck, matching your movements to his much to Anakin’s relief.

Suddenly he felt a soft thump on the back of his head as you flicked him, pulling his eyes down to yours in surprise. “What?”

“Don’t what me” you shook your head up at him, unable to keep a hint of amusement from your tone “what was that?”

“I was saving you” he shrugged, his eyes going up to gaze around the room.

“Oh really?” You challenged him with raised brows “saving me from-“

“from a dreadfully boring evening on the arm of that guy” he finished your sentence with a hint of a smug grin on his face as he looked down at you only making you roll your eyes.

“Sure Ani” you chuckled softly, shaking your head “you know if you wanted to dance all you had to do was ask”

He felt his cheeks heat up at your comment, dipping his head slightly lower “now where’s the fun in that”

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starlazergazer · 10 months

Note

Hello hello my love!! I haven’t been on tumblr in a bit so I thought I’d just pop in and see how you were doing <33 I hope all is well :)

Ahh thank you so much! Welcome back to tumblr lol I'm doing pretty good just taking things slow on this blogs front. I hope you're doing well too :)

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starlazergazer · 10 months

Note

Omg could u do an angsty part 2 of welcome home? With thr empire trying gi get Anakin back by trying to kidnap his daugther and wife but ykmow jedi anakin skywalker to the rescueeee

I wasn't planning on it but I kinda liked the sound of that! The empire for sure wouldn't let their golden boy go so easily

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starlazergazer · 10 months

Note

I just wanted to tell you that found your stories the other day and they are so cute! Out of the ones I've read so far my favorite is Not Sinking.

Ahhhhh thank you! Not Sinking was one I was for sure not sure about when I set out to write it, struggled a bit but I'm rather proud of the result and I'm so thrilled you like it! Thank you so much for stopping by!!

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starlazergazer · 10 months

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It’s good to hear from you my love! I’m glad you took a break when you felt you needed one <3 I’m so excited to read the new post, I’m totally in love with your writing(and you)!!

I'm so excited for you to read it!! And believe me it's so nice to hear from you too! The motivation hasn't really been there to write so it's nice to know I still got people in my corner no matter what

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starlazergazer · 10 months

Text

Welcome Home

Pairing: Anakin x Reader

Request: Combining two very similar requests! The overall summary is that the reader finds out she’s pregnant and out of fear leaves the republic (quickly becoming the empire) without Anakin knowing. Anakin tracks down the reader years later and leaves everything behind to live happily ever after with the reader and their child.

Warnings: Pregnant!Reader

Word Count: 4K

A/N: Hey guys its been a while! She’s a little short but she’s got some good angst and some cute moments so I really hope you enjoy it!

You weren’t proud to admit that you didn’t see it coming.

The warning signs were all there, and in hindsight you can’t believe you had missed them. But no, not missed, for every time there was a new announcement about the condensation of power you felt your stomach drop, felt the voice in the back of your head whisper that this wasn’t right, you never missed a single warning sign, it was even worse than that. You ignored them.

Because you knew chancellor Palpatine, he was a nice old man, offering his wisdom to younger senators such as yourself, he wanted what was best for the republic same as you.

You thought you knew Anakin too.

But you did know Anakin, you wanted to argue, he was passionate, emotional, funny, someone looking only to do right in the world by those he loved. You just thought you were one of those people.

And maybe you were, maybe this were some big misunderstanding, maybe there were forces at play here you couldn’t see that changed things. Maybe you could be the one to make those changes.

In another life you’d stick around and see.

Not this time. A hand ghosting across your stomach, staring down at an empty suitcase. Circumstances have changed and you couldn’t afford to chance it.

But even as you stood in you room amongst the ruins of the republic you had fought so hard to build, all that echoed in your mind was Anakin’s last words “I’ll find you later I promise” spoken in that tone of voice that had you smiling no matter what. Even as he pulled away, even as he interrupted the most important surprise of your life you couldn’t help but smile back at him, watching his own lips quirk up in response.

How could so much have changed in such little time.

A knock at the front door knocked you out of your stupor, a spring in your step as you rushed out of the bedroom just in time to see Anakin walking into the living room.

And you were amazed at how he looked exactly the same, how your whole world came crashing down and Anakin was still Anakin, looking at you with so much love and worry in his eyes it made your chest ache.

He was across the room before you could even comprehend his movement, his arms wrapping tightly around you not even noticing that you never raised yours to do the same.

It would have been far too easy to melt into the hug, to reach up and cover his hands with your own as he stepped back and cupped each cheek, to ignore the new yellow tint in his eyes as he scanned your body frantically asking if you were hurt.

But your choice here wasn’t just your own anymore, and if there was one thing you were certain of, it was that whoever this child came to be deserved more than what the empire offered.

It took you a second to find your voice, a second to push his hands off your cheeks, to take a step back from him, offering a small I’m okay that he clearly didn’t believe before you fully collected yourself “it’s just a lot to take in ya know?”

And there was a small sigh of relief that racked through him, before he took up your hand, giving it an experimental squeeze, as if afraid you were going to reject him “I know but really all that’s changed is the title, the senate still exists, you still have the same job, emperor Palpatine is just doing his best to protect people”

And you wondered if he really believed that, if he thought that the senate mattered in any way but a symbolic one at this point, that Palpatine was still prepared to just give back his power when he deemed it was best. Anakin was many things but never naive.

A bitter part of you noted how easily the change to Palpatine’s title came to him.

“Of course” you tried to assure him with your best smile, an awkward hand coming up and patting his “I’m still a senator”

He seemed to relax slightly at this, his posture slouching ever so slightly as his smile grew easier, crinkling the edges of his eyes just a little more now than it did before.

“What about you are you okay?” The question held more weight than he could possibly realize.

“I’m good” he sighed out, leading you softly over to the couch “the jedi order, the republic, all of it wasn’t working, hadn’t for some time and emperor Palpatine changed that. I really think it’s for the better”

And you weren’t sure whether it would’ve been worse if he had told you he was being forced into the whole thing. If you would rather he had somehow been blackmailed into his new role or if he truly believed in the empire, choosing instead to dismantle all that you devoted your life to of his own volition.

“Good” you nearly choked on the word as it came out, your forced smile starting to ache in your cheeks as you fought to keep it on “I’m glad”

He smiled warmly back at you and in that moment he looked too much like the Anakin you knew, the man you’d shared many stolen moments with in closets and empty rooms, the man you wanted more than anything in that moment to just come home to.

“Anyway there was something important you wanted to tell me” he prompted softly, turning softly into you, encapsulating both your hands in his with a soft squeeze.

And your mind jumped immediately to the test hidden in your luggage in the bedroom at that very moment, to the moment you had pulled him into the nearest closet just before everything went down, to the excitement you had felt in that moment and carried with you even as he told you he had to go, that you could tell him later. Only for later to never come.

Your mouth dropped open slightly, an amalgamation of words tumbling around inside you with no real idea which would spring forth first. A part of you wondered what would happen if you told him. Would he give it all up? Run away with you? Become the fantastic father you knew he would be away from the sway of the empire, from Palpatine?

But you knew better.

“Oh it was nothing” you shook him off “can hardly remember it now”

He studied you carefully, mistrust evident in every feature on his face. Instead of objecting, however, he just brought a hand up to softly cup your cheek.

And oh how you hated how quickly your body reacted, leaning into the touch softly, your eyes fluttering closed before you could stop them.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?”

His words were soft but you could hear the earnestness in them, the slight beg for you to let him in.

“Yeah I know” you opted for a half truth, never that good at denying him anything, knowing that in any other circumstance you wouldn’t have even hesitated, hell before all of this you were excited to tell him.

But circumstances change, people changed, you just wished that he had picked a path you could follow down.

“I’m just feeling a little tired, I think I’m going to lay down for a nap” you shrugged off his hand softly, pulling yourself back from picking it up with your own, forcing yourself to drop his other one, to push yourself up off the couch, to take a step back, to put that first bit of distance between the two of you.

And you could see him recoil slightly at the sudden declaration, at your sudden dismissal of him, a brief moments shock spent frozen on the couch before he pushed himself up with a dejected nod, a soft hesitant voice you hardly recognized as Anakin’s coming from him “yeah of course, just let me know if you need anything okay?”

For a moment your mind was captured by thoughts of what could have been, Anakin taking care of you through bouts of morning sickness, bringing you packages of whatever pregnancy cravings you had in the middle of the night, rubbing your swollen feet while you talked lazily on the couch. It felt unfair that a person could mourn something that would never come to pass.

“I will, thanks Ani”

And despite the tension in the air you saw the corner of his mouth twitch up at the familiar nickname. He gave a small nod before backing away and heading for the door, his hand coming up to the panel and hovering over its surface, a brief moment spent frozen before he spoke, calling out your name and spinning around to find you.

But he didn’t need to look far, you hadn’t moved from your spot as you watched him go.

“I love you”

And it would’ve been so much easier if he hadn’t have said that, if some part of you could’ve been able to push his feelings over all of this to the back of your mind, if you had been left to believe that on some level he would be okay if you left him.

“I love you too Ani” and even worse you meant it

“So this is why you ran?” the familiar voice broke you from your thoughts as you stared forward at the busy playground but didn’t necessarily surprise you, it was after all a voice you had been waiting to here again after too many years.

A million reactions to that voice ran through your head all at once, each one completely contradicting the one before. Run away, embrace him, hide your daughter, introduce him to her. So instead you stayed frozen in place, your gaze locked on the colorful jungle gym before you.

“I decided she deserved a better life than what the empire could give her” Still you refused to look at him, refused to put a face to that comforting voice you had always been inexplicably drawn to. Instead you focused on keeping your head held high, to stave off any guilt that threatened to leach into your tone. You couldn’t afford to look weak over this decision not now.

“she?” but god that little tremble in his voice nearly broke you, every doubt you had over the years amplified by a minor change in pitch. It was precisely why you had left in the first place, and here he was again threatening to pull you back in all over again.

You cleared your throat softly, gesturing across the playground vaguely with your head “bright pink coat, attempting to climb the monkey bars”

A shaky exhale sounded from beside you, a slight shift as he scooted closer but you weren’t sure whether you liked the feeling or hated it. “she looks just like you” The smile you could hear in his voice, however, that you relished.

“She’s got your eyes” you responded softly, laughing quietly as you watched her run and jump off the platform in an attempt to get high enough to reach the first rung “and your reckless relationship with danger”

You felt Anakin go tense beside you the minute her shoes left the ground, watching as she sailed missing the bar by mere inches and tumbling to the ground. Your hand came out to his elbow the minute you felt his weight shift as he got ready to go help her, freezing the two of you in place as you watched her pick herself up and dust herself off before abandoning her quest for the monkey bars and taking off for the swings.

“Tough kid” Anakin laughed almost in disbelief, watching her shake off the fall as if it were nothing.

“taught her early on if she was going to make stupid decisions she better be prepared to deal with the consequences”

A tense silence fell over the two of you at your words. It only occurring to you then that you still had your hand on his arm, pulling it back quickly, acting as if it were nothing, as if your fingers weren’t aching to reach out to him again.

“You know I was high up in the empire” he broke the silence with heavy words, inlaid with more depth than he probably meant “I could’ve given her a good life”

You shook your head at his words, eyes never leaving your daughters form as she started to swing, blissfully unaware of who had just shown up “there was a time I would’ve believed that” you responded honestly with a sigh “but after everything the empire has done, after seeing what is has become, I know I made the right call”

“the schools I could get her into, the house I could provide-“ Anakin pushed on only making your lip tremble slightly, your eyes closing as you let out a shaky beath, cutting him off.

“stop Ani” and the two of your froze at the nickname, the way it slipped out too easily from your lips, how much you liked the sound of it “the empire destroyed everything I fought for in an instant. It overthrew a democracy I devoted my life to in favor of a dictatorship, it killed millions of people I gave my life to serve as their representative, it took everything from me including you” and finally you turned to face him, not at all surprised to see familiar blue eyes already staring down at you, each feature swimming through an ocean of emotions he wasn’t quite sure which to land on. “I wasn’t going to let them take her too”

You each took a moment, eyes bouncing back and forth between one another’s, you taking a moment to take in a face that somehow looked the exact same as it had years ago and yet changed so much.

Still he shook his head softly, eyes casting back out to the playground before him “I would’ve come with you”

And you’d spent too much time pondering that same question to just let it slide “you wouldn’t have”

Anakin’s head snapped back to yours, eyebrows drawing in in confusion and hurt “You think I would’ve chosen anything else over you? Over her?” he gestured over to the swings, your daughter kicking her feet to climb higher and higher into the air.

“I think you would’ve tried to talk me into staying, and I was afraid I was too weak to say no” you answered honestly, watching as he shook his head again clearly not liking that as an answer “and I think even if you had wanted to come with me they wouldn’t have let you” that gave him pause, his brows furrowing slightly at your words, silently prompting you to continue “you were the emperors right hand man, the one set to inherit everything. They weren’t going to let you go that easily”

“I was in too deep, so you just gave up on us” he paused for a second, a deep breath running through him before he continued “gave up on me”

Immediately you were scooching yourself closer to him, thigh coming to rest right along his as you took one hand in yours, using it to pull his attention back to you. “If circumstances were different” you began slowly, blindly searching for the right words for the feeling you had never been able to let go of “I would’ve stayed with you. No question, no hesitation, I would always choose you.” And you gave those words a second to sink in, hoping more than anything that he would believe you on that much, “But now I have her to think about” you nodded vaguely in your daughters direction, Anakin’s gaze briefly following yours before snapping quickly back to your figure, his hand squeezing yours just a little tighter “At that time that meant getting her out of there by whatever means necessary”

“And now?” he asked quietly, eyes practically begging you for an answer

“Darth vader has no place in our family” you answered solemnly, giving the statement a moments pause to cement it “however, Anakin Skywalker always has a place at our table”

You could see his face start to break out into a smile but your attention was pulled away too quickly by a familiar voice shouting “mommy” before a weight was pushed onto your lap as your daughter buried her head into your chest, not bothering to slow down from her dead sprint before she jumped onto your lap.

You gave a dramatic “oof” that had her giggling as she brought her gaze up to meet yours, a wide smile on her face as she started to talk “did you see how high I went on the swings mommy? Did you see me go?”

Her excited fast talking pulled an easy smile to your cheeks as your voice got higher slightly, nodding eagerly along with her “I did see you went sooooo high you’re such a brave little girl”

“I’m not that little” she protested with a giggle and a dramatic roll of her eyes, her gaze cutting briefly to Anakin’s form next to you, the question of who this man was clearly bubbling beneath the surface, nothing but her own shyness keeping it at bay.

“Come here” you said softly, twirling her around so she sat in your lap with her back against your chest, her head tucked perfectly just beneath your chin “do you remember all those stories I tell you about the super cool Jedi?”

“Obi-wan?” she asked innocently and you couldn’t help but laugh, if nothing else the girl’s comedic timing was on point.

“no the other one, the one that worked to bring balance to the force?”

“Daddy?” she asked eagerly and you heard a breath escape from Anakin, a quick glance up to him showed that his eyes were glued to the little girl in your lap.

“That’s right” you assured her with a smile growing more strained by the second, a tightness in your chest growing as you knew what her next question would be.

She looked over at Anakin curiously, not quite shying away from him but keeping her distance from her spot in your lap, choosing instead to carefully study the man before her. “Is he going to come live with us now?”

Your eyes jumped up to Anakin’s as he tore his gaze from the girl in your lap, an expression on his face that seemed to ask you the same question.

“I don’t know sweetheart” you began hesitantly “I think Daddy’s got some things he needs to figure out before-“

“Yes” Anakin cut you off before you could finish, making your eyebrows shoot up at him, your eyes silently asking him if he was sure, if he knew what he was agreeing to right now, if he was really prepared for a step like that.

Instead his gaze broke back down to his daughter, a small smile growing on his face as he stooped slightly as he spoke “that is if it’s okay with you?”

“mmmm” you daughter hummed loudly, clearly missing the desperation in Anakin’s expression as she held him on the edge of his seat, pondering the question carefully before asking “are you a good swing pusher?”

A strained, relieved chuckle from his lips at her question, an eager answer following it quickly “I’m an excellent swing pusher”

“Then as long as it’s okay with mommy” she declared simply, Anakin’s eyes breaking once again up to meet yours, a single question held within them.

And looking into his eyes you thought of the person he had become after the republic fell, the person you felt you had to flee in order to raise your daughter in a safe environment, the person that became the very thing you’d once worked to destroy.

But looking at him all you saw was your Anakin. The man who had only ever tried to do what he thought was best, the man who would lay down his life with no hesitation to protect you, the man who ever since meeting her had been hanging off your daughters every word. Five minutes in and she already had him wrapped around her little finger.

“What about your job” you asked him, your expression holding more meaning than your actual words “back on Coruscant”

“I’m done with that” he answered immediately, inching closer to the two of you “no one knows I’m here”

“Are you sure” you asked him slowly, a million tiny expansions on that question flowing silently through you. Are you sure that you’re done with the empire, that no one will come looking for you, that this is really what you want?

“I’ve never been more sure of anything” he answered softly, eyes never breaking contact with yours as he said it.

And you let that answer hang In the air for a moment, searching his expression for any sign of doubt but ultimately finding none. You opened your mouth to speak when you daughter decided to break the silence for you, grabbing Anakin by the hand she hopped off your lap and started to drag him towards the playground. “Good you can come push me on the swings now”

And you couldn’t help but laugh as you watched him follow her eagerly, a grin on his face you hadn’t realized how bad you had missed seeing as he helped her into the seat, starting to push her almost hesitantly, as if he were afraid she would fall off.

So true to form your daughter demanded higher, eliciting a hearty laugh from the former jedi you could hear from across the playground, bringing a soft smile to your face as you watched the two of them, whispering softly to yourself “welcome home Ani”

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