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#i'm still free to hang out thursday babi
kero-verdade · 2 years
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our boy jinyoung really getting some action this episode huh 💀💀💀💀💀
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incorrectbatfam · 7 months
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What would Queering the Map look like in the DC Universe
For those of you that don't know, Queering the Map is basically this website where people can add pinpoints on a map with their different queer experiences. It's really cool, I suggest checking it out (unless you hate The Gays, in which case feel free to unfollow me).
Now, for the headcanons:
"Went to a baseball game for our third date. We ended up on the jumbotron. Some people booed us. I think it's 'cause I wore a Gotham jersey and she had a Metropolis hat. A modern-day Romeo and Juliet."
"Drag storytime here, every Thursday from 5:30 to 7"
"sometimes love is kidnapping a nepo baby with your two polyamorous boyfriends"
"Did it with another Arkham inmate, 5/10"
"According to my grandfather, who trained me to wield a sword from the moment I could walk, I'm 'too young' to know who I am."
"Themiscyra more like Lesbos 2 amirite"
"I have a crush on a boy in my class but every time I ask him to hang out he tells me he's busy. I know he doesn't do any after-school clubs and he doesn't need a part-time job because he's rich as hell. I have my conspiracy theories. Let's see how they pan out."
"@ Ollie Queen I screwed your son in your office"
"On this street corner, I got so nervous talking to the cute food truck worker that I puked in a trash can. I am 42 years old."
"Don't forget about us in Kahndaq!"
"Smallville boys sure love them cornfields"
"I put the bi in billionaire"
"me-wow ;)"
"It's Sunday morning. My wife and I slept in after a wild time last night. I woke up first so I surprised her with her favorite breakfast and used the food scraps to make compost cupcakes for her plants. Then she kissed me and showed me a funny video because she knows I love wild dogs, and it makes everything I've put up with worth it. Some folks will see this and still call us the villains. If that's the case, I don't wanna be a hero."
"I know where I'd put my Lantern ring ( ͡ ° ل͜ ͡°)"
"No GCPD at Pride"
"I no longer live in England but I had my fair share of adventures back in the day. We have always been here and we always will be."
"first kiss here, tasted like waffles"
"Hey Lex I can be your sugar baby i mean henchman"
"I can run from Keystone to Bludhaven in five seconds flat but it doesn't matter because he'll never see me the way I see him"
"I transed the fish. Signed, an Atlantean"
"Wanna match butts?"
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misanocircuit · 2 months
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[pic & Italian-English translation by me! :) in pink it's Vale speaking]
The 125 champion from Brno to the Gazzetta's telephone
Valentino's women
"You're handsome, do you have a girlfriend? What kind of underwear do you wear? Don't cut your hair!"
·
Many teenager girls wanted to talk to Rossi, asking him some risqué questions. "Want to see me up close? At the Monza Rally or at the Motor Show". Unveiled many curiosities: "My new baby brother has evicted me out of my bed: now I sleep on the sofa". "I've bought the lucky-charm turtle at the supermarket".
The supporters worried for the post-victory hangover. "I'm fine but I had to celebrate, no?". About the future: "I would have stayed in 125 but Aprilia has insisted. In 250 it will be hard to do the same but at least I will be able to sleep more in the morning". And there's who confesses that Rossifumi's joy has been damped by Lady Diana's death and Biaggi.
·
Valentino is tired and sleepy. The journey from Brno to the Gazzetta's telephone was long and full of insomnia. He faces the telephone with a certain amount of skepticism. But it's the fans, especially many wild young girls, who immediately wake him up.
It's Giulia Vivian, 13 y.o., from Vicenza, to start.
"Valentino, is it really you? Oh mother, what an emotion", little excitement yelps can be heard in the background.
"But, how many of you are there?".
"Four. I'll pass you Alice who's 16".
"That seems already a bit too much".
"Listen Valentino, we would like to know when you're coming here to visit us".
"I just think never. I'll go to Bologna's Motor Show, we could meet there".
"Alright, we are all going to be there with the flags and we will paint our face with your colours".
"Maybe also naked?".
"Naked? We'll see, we love you, you have a beautiful voice".
A rousing 16 y.o. whose name we are going to omitt (you'll immediately understand why...) calls from the Brescia area.
"I was about to give up. I've been trying from an hour and my father wanted me to hang up".
"Such a pain in the ass!" [literally "ball-breaker"; editor's note].
"You're right, but I can't say him that. Is it true that you will race the Monza Rally?".
"Yes, in November, let the ball-breaker bring you there".
"If he doesn't bring me, he'll see".
"Come on the first day, because on the second day I don't know if I still will be in the race".
Then the topic switches on underwear.
"I have a curiosity: what do you usually wear, slips or boxers?".
"What a question... Usually slips. And you?" .
"It depends, on Thursdays I don't wear them".
"Damn!!! Now that I think about it, the rally starts exactly on Thursday".
Francesca Testori, 15 y.o., from Como, is embarrassed.
"Sorry, I'm excited. Although we know eachother: I'm the girl who has come to your house. But you were sleeping".
"Sorry what? I don't know anything about it...".
"Yes, your mother opened the door for me and she told me you were sleeping: you know, I was on holidays in that area. Your mother is kind".
"Yes of course, such a bummer! I sleep too much".
"Listen, I want to know from you how things are with Biaggi, I've heard a lot of stuff".
"I don't like him ("me too", underlines Francesca) but I don't have any problem with him. I simply am not his supporter. Then the "bastard" journalists have exaggerated things, but we did nothing to avoid it. I don't like him... Also sexually".
"I'm Martina...".
"Colombari?".
"No, Pegoraro, I'm calling from Treviso and I'm 13. I've watched you...".
"Have I been good?".
"Yes, and how are you?" .
"I have a bit of a sore throat".
"It's been half an hour that I've been trying to call: when I heard the phone line was free I felt like if I was fainting. How is Luca doing (the baby brother that mom Stefania has recently gave birth to; Ed.)?".
"He's starting to bother. He used to eat and sleep, now he cries. And then he sleeps in my bed, while I had to move on the sofa. When he was born he weighted 4,2 kilos, he was 1,20 tall and was 42 shoe size. But he's nice".
"I've been in Tavullia two weeks ago, because I was on holidays in the area".
She hesitates.
"Sorry, my belly is trembling for the emotion".
"Don't say it, here there are all of Gazzetta's journalists, like the director and deputy director. Let's do it like this, give me your phone number and I'm going to call you".
From Como calls Giuliana Mossi, 15 y.o.: her start is languid, Valentino immediately becomes attentive.
"You know, I'm friend with Francesca, the girl who came to your house but couldn't see you and so did I...".
"Don't tell me that also this time I was sleeping because otherwise I need to shoot myself".
"No, you weren't there, you were testing at the Mugello circuit".
"Ah, then it's fine. But I bet that you've talked to my mother, nice eh? They all say this, my mom is so cool".
"I wanted to know why you chose the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle as a lucky-charm".
"When I used to race minibikes I saw one on the helmet of another rider. I liked it and I went to the Coop to buy one".
"You're so beautiful, Valentino, sooner or later I'll come by to see you in Tavullia".
"I'm waiting for you".
Another tender call.
"I'm Erica Messena, I'm 17 and I call from Brescia. Do you remember when we have met eachother? You were with Capirossi at Quelli che il calcio [an Italian sport TV show; editor's note], I took you a picture and I wanted to send it to you. I've got the address: I did everything I could to track you down, I even called the Carabinieri [Italian police force; editor's note]".
To Lorenza Gabioli, 16 y.o. from Modena, Valentino entrust the result of a lightning-quick referendum:
"How about I cut my hair?".
"I'm sorry, like this you're stupendous, especially with the pigtail".
"Thanks for the advice".
Anyway there's a shocking news coming: super short hair and breathtaking colour. All to be seen, in Barcelona.
·
[top right text translation]
The car dealer friend
"Try not to change"
Among the many phonecalls suddenly an imperious voice can be heard from the other side of the phone:
"Here is Tosi Moto from Rimini: you're a monster [it's a compliment; editor's note], many congratulations".
Valentino immediately recognises who's speaking:
"Thanks, Otello".
"No, you're the one who's special — replies the friend, a car dealer who is highly committed in the smaller categories and who has met the new champion when he was a child —. You have a lot of supporters. On Sunday in Misano, for the first final of the Sport Production: we were cheering like crazy just for you. We were 76 people inside a garage in front of the TV. It was 10 minutes before the race and nobody was getting prepared: another while and even the start would have been postponed".
"Keep going like this — adds Otello — and you'll have everyone by your side, because you really represent the sportsmen, the ones who go to race on Sundays to have fun. I've been knowing you since you were a child and I know how many things you could do, how far you could arrive because you got your head straight. The important thing is that you don't let anyone mislead you. Woes".
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multifandomdiscord · 2 months
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Hello and welcome to the ✣★͙⊱•𝑀𝓊𝓁𝓉𝒾𝒻𝒶𝓃𝒹𝑜𝓂 𝒯𝓊𝓂𝒷𝓁𝓇•̩̩͙⊰•✽✣!!!
We are here to show you our shenanigans and our funny moments in our discord servers!
First, let us introduce the mods!!
Woah, A Wild Ossa!
Preferred Name: Ossa
Preferred Pronouns: Any Pronouns
Primary Timezone: Central Timezone
Availability: Monday-Thursday (After 4:00); Saturday/Sunday (All Day)
Hobbies and Interests: Writing, Reading, Singing, and Gaming
Favorites: Most every popular fantasy series - LotR, HP, PJO, etc. Lot of Stephen King. Undertale, FNAF, Game Theory stuff, Markiplier, and the Sun and Moon Show. I also really love purple coded characters. xD
Sillies: Woah, ADHD? Yeah, ADHD. And Disassociative Identity Disorder. And a few other things. Drowning in brain bugs, and I'm making it your problem by writing about the Daycare Attendants, Turtles, and etc.
***"Take that depression!!!" - Lucifer from Hazbin Hotel***
✽✣★͙⊱••✩••̩̩͙⊰•✽✣⑆✽✣★͙⊱••✩••̩̩͙⊰•✽✣⑆✽✣★͙⊱••
Howdy everyone!
Name: Ghost
Nickname: spoop
Pronouns: she/her
Time zone: central timezone
Availability: varies a lot but almost any time ^^
Hobbies: reading, writing, drawing, and gaming
Favorites: strawberries, peaches, cute plushies, animals, anime, manga, and manwha’s
Fandoms: Omniscient Reader’s Viewpoint, Lout of the Count’s Family, The Greatest Estate Developer, ROTTMNT, Lego Monkie kid, Pokémon, Blue exorcist, Seraph of the End
__Socials__
✽✣★͙⊱••✩••̩̩͙⊰•✽✣⑆✽✣★͙⊱••✩••̩̩͙⊰•✽✣⑆✽✣★͙⊱••
Greetings!
Name: Chelle
Nickname: Chelle
Pronouns: She/Her
Time zone: Eastern Standard Time
Availability: varies, 8pm and past until 12am EST usually.
Hobbies: drawing, writing, reading, cooking, watching horror videos or movies.
Favorites: blue, blue themed characters, sushi, cats.
Fandoms: Rottmnt, Genshin, Trolls (main three)
**__Socials__**
Ao3: maybe later
✽✣★͙⊱••✩••̩̩͙⊰•✽✣⑆✽✣★͙⊱••✩••̩̩͙⊰•✽✣⑆✽✣★͙⊱••
Well look who it is! That’s right! It’s me!
Name: Mej
Pronouns: she/they
Timezone: GMT or BST (during the summer)
Availability: Most days and most times that aren’t midnight until 9am. (I have to sleep sometime!) But my DMs are always open if you need anything
Hobbies: Reading, writing and a little bit of light gaming on the side (whether it’s online, board games or card games)
Fandoms: I’m a little all over the place, skipping through them all the time, but I’m a fan of: ROTTMNT, Transformers, Pokémon, Blue Exorcist, Demon Slayer and FNAF
SOCIALS
✽✣★͙⊱••✩••̩̩͙⊰•✽✣⑆✽✣★͙⊱••✩••̩̩͙⊰•✽✣⑆✽✣★͙⊱••
ABOUT THE DISCORD:
The discord is about having someone to talk about your favorite fandoms on. Need it be TMNT, HAZBIN HOTEL, FNAF, OWL HOUSE, STEVEN UNIVERSE, etc. Heck, even YouTube channels that you all are into as well.
We are a server that allows you to be yourself!!
• Streaming and Gaming👾🎮🕹️
・ LGBTQ+ friendly ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
・A 17+ server
・Open to partnerships 🤝🏼
・Open to Creative Ideas 📝💡
・Fun community 🥳🎉
・Social Media 📱💻
・Movie Night 🍿🎥🎞️
Our Discord!! Come join!
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oshi-nakadapiroki · 8 months
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Unhinged Suehirogari live commentary (9/17)
I take no responsibility for what's been written in the moment
Enomoto looking stylish
EVERYONE'S NEW OUTFITS LOOKS SO GOOD
sorry but everyone's out of tune 😭 especially the newest swords
i see akashi for 0.2 seconds and my heart's is gonna EXPLODE
HIROKI IS ABSOLUTELY GLOWING
that smile is a national treasure
UNIMAGINABLE HAPPINESS FROM THIS MAN RN
i think i blacked out the entire Hajimari no Kaze/mistake/Kachi ni Ikuze Baby
Mutsu was gonna pose with his towel but missed 😭
"i love all gous - buzen, matsui, kuwana and *looks at smudged writing on hand* otegine"
everyone's got the character bottles
MUTSU DOING KANE-SAN'S PART IN OMAE GA SHITTERU?? CALM DOWN
hizen throwing it back
LOST THE MEMORY MY BELOVED
akashi got the same lines as he did in srs22 🥹
you would need at least 800 pair of eyes to look at each sword simultaneously
akashi: 🫰🫰
water bottle kanpai!
Oodenta don't call out Monoyoshi's Ryugi's stage warmup like this
Free Style is such a solid song
I'm not a Yuuta stan but man's got vocals
*puts akashi's 📣 on my head like a dunce hat cuz i'm a fool for this man*
ichigo feels like. he's trying too hard :/
Koryuu has levelled up his amai kotoba game
MR HESHIKIRI HASEBE??
Ignition kinda fucks (thank u tomoe)
"sweet swag"
i haven't seen gou on stage but viva carnival is such a weird song (i know it's gonna grow on me lol)
🥁🥁👁👄👁🥁🥁
let hachisuka play the drums!!
murakumo changing the subject is just like me trying to be subtle
let's gou cooking!~
HOUTOU? *nakacha flashbacks*
if no akashi in danzen this year.. at least give us danzen tonbo on thursday? 🥺
hi northern king 👋
i feel for his lovely sailors cuz i also struggle with left and right
enomoto: DATE-SENPAI 😍
absolutely KILLER MOVE of toumyu producers to combine fujita rei and oka koujirou's vocals
THEIR HARMONY IS *CHEF'S KISS*
who cut off rei's mic 😂😭
AKASHI GUARDIAN MODE ACTIVATED
I WANNA SEE MORE AKASHI AND HYUUGA
bless the saniwas who sat at the far right of the main stage
i actually like Tears alot cuz i unironically love the sounds of harpsichords
tsuru's leg moves iykyk
i still don't know what suishinshi and oodenta did in gou on stage? someone educate me
raita's got dangerous moves
WASSA WASSA?? OUR MOTHER EARTH??
PURPLE SWORD TRUCK
shin crouching down to the camera made me feel like a child at puroland 🥺🥺
seeing akashi smile makes my eyes water
can you guess what doesn't sound complete to me without tonbokiri
i want whatever foundation monoyoshi is using
SECRET SIGN
WHEN I TELL YOU I SCREAMED
AKASHI YOU'RE SO SEXY
KISSING KISSING FOR YOU
i'll be watching this on repeat for the next week
AKASHI'S TAKING KANE-SAN'S POSITION
his failed poems are a mood tho
h o t a r u
(aizen found in a ditch)
if you don't hear from me the day we get akashi scarlet lips, just assume it's put me in a coma
show me something something disney
guess we're rocking the suehiro tanktop this year rather than kemono bottom layer 💔
hachisuka getting handsy on tsuru
who brought the firework barrels???
SASAMORI HIT SHUNYA IN THE FACE OMFG
yes grandpa date-senpai
why did they leave manba hanging at the middle of the stairs for so long lmao
overall a great shonichi!
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namparktae · 3 years
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Kim Seokjin 
𝐌𝐢𝐫𝐫𝐨𝐫ᵏˢʲ
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You sat down at your desk, typing away at the keys of your laptop. You had an assignment to finish by the weekend and right now, it was a late Thursday night and you were exhausted. Extremely exhausted. ".... I just can't do it!!" You exclaimed as you threw yourself onto your bed and muffled out into your pillow. Reaching for your phone, you decide to call your boyfriend Jin. You knew he'd make you feel better as he was your number one when it came to hard situations like this, he was always loving and he knew how to calm you.
"Jin babe, can you come over? I really need to see you." You whined through the phone as you heard him lowly chuckle at your sudden neediness as soon as he answered.
"I'll be over in no time baby, I'll bring my keys and let myself in."
Within 30 minutes he arrived bringing the two of you takeout pizza for dinner, to see you sitting at your desk again but this time you were crying.
"Y/n baby. What's wrong?" He pulled you up to bury your head in his chest as your tears left wet patches on his thick sweater.
"I just can't complete my assignments Jinnie, it's too much. I've got nearly no time left to finish and I'm no where near done."
"Don't worry baby, you need to relax for awhile. We're gonna spend tonight together okay? Completely stress free and then tomorrow I'll help you finish off your work."
He rubbed your back to soothe you and you looked up into his eyes with your arms wrapped around his torso. Jin cupped your face and kissed your swollen lips, then your tear stained cheeks, making you blush. He let his forehead rest against yours with your noses rubbing together as he whispered out "You're to pretty to cry baby, no more crying for me please. Can you do that?"
The two of you ate the pizza sitting on your bed watching a film that he had chosen to watch and soon enough you were wrapped in his arms with your head placed gently on his well-built chest. He kissed your forehead making you look up at him, without any hesitations he kissed your lips and slipped his tongue into your mouth as you accepted and slid yours into his mouth. Large hands held your hips as he guided you to straddle his torso, intentionally making your core press against his bulge. Your hands travelled to his hair as you run your fingers through his soft brown locks as he gripped your ass, making your hips slightly grind against him as you felt him grow hard.
You pulled off your small pyjama shorts leaving yourself in a small red lacey thong and a white tee, revealing your bare torso and outlining your nipples. Seokjins eyes widened at the sight of you on top of him as he kissed your neck leaving behind red splotches and saliva on your skin.
"We're gonna try something tonight baby."
"O-Okay..." you mumbled as he began to pull at your waistband of your underwear whilst hovering over your body as you laid across your bed. His fingers looped underneath and he pulled them down your thighs with no trouble at all, you instantly felt the wetness as you got butterflies, fluttering at his touch. You was so hooked on him. Everything about Jin was absolute perfection. His hair fell perfectly around his face, framing it beautifully to show off his eyes. You looked deeply into his eyes while he slipped a finger through your now glistening folds.
"You're already this wet? We've only just started playing y/n."
"Jin stop teasing me. Please." You whined for him as you held the back of his neck with your arms draped around his broad shoulders. Jin pressed a passionate kiss against your lips, it felt as if he wanted to devour you, but he was too gentle and delicate to completely let loose.
You decided to test him by whispering up in his ear, his fingers played with your pussy gently, pressing against your clit and rubbing through your wet slits yet still not pushing his fingers inside your clenching walls. A smirk crawled across his lips as you pulled him down to kiss your lips, you moaned into his mouth as he finally inserted two of his fingers inside you making you squirm instantly. Pulling away from his lips, you whispered deeply into his ear, letting your hot breath hit against his soft skin.
"You know how sexy you look right now?"
You let your hand trace the bare skin of his shoulder as you lightly tickled his upper arm, ensuring to soothe him. He looked you dead in the eyes after you pressed a small kiss to the side of his cheek, pushing his fingers deeper into you and curving them as he fucked you with his fingers at a quicker pace than before. Lust waved over him and he stared back at you, watching you completely unfold in front of him as you submitted to him in such an early stage.
"Let's get a better view baby." He hummed against your skin, making you shiver. You was completely confused as to what he was about to do with you, yet you wasnt about to stop it. He pulled away his hand from your pussy and you hissed from the loss of pleasure. Jin took your hand and stood you in front of the long full length mirror that was mounted to your wall, standing behind you and pressing soft yet sensual kisses along your nape and then along the previous marks he made. Every movement he made you could see with your own eyes, turning you on even more than before. His large hands roamed around your body, causing your skin to burn at his touches. Your nipples hardened through your tshirt, making Seokjin run his fingers around them before he gently pinched your left nipple through the fabric. The two of you were looking at eachother in the mirror, admiring the way you two fit together and the lack of clothes you shared as his trousers and sweater had disappeared, leaving him in just his boxers. His lightly toned abs pressed against your back while his hard member was kept in his underwear, making the fabric tighten around his waist as his cock grew harder and harder due to being wedged against your ass.
Jin suddenly stripped himself of the inconvenient fabric, letting his dick spring up and hit just underneath his belly button, taking ahold of his cock and pumping himself a couple of times to make sure it was rock hard. You bent over slightly to allow him to enter you from behind after you'd realised what his plan was, you wasn't disappointed at all. Seeing him pushing himself all the way in made you wetter in ways you couldn't ever imagine, he held your hips as his dick filled your pussy and he let you adjust to his size. Your mouth hung open at the sight and made you spill out the loud moans you so desperately tried to keep inside. Yet his member hit your spot over and over again causing you to moan out his name loudly. You could see everything, his dick was entering you at an inhumane pace and every vein in his hard cock could be seen.
Continuing to thrust harder, he reached around to stimulate your clit by rubbing softly against your nub
"Fuck Jin... I'm so close." You moaned out.
He managed to latch his lips onto your neck once again, breathing out heavy and uttering your name repeatedly into your skin. He enjoyed you looking so fucked out for him almost way too much, it was absolutely euphoric for him. Your high was near as your core threatened to spill out over his cock, the knot in your stomach unraveled as your release dripped down his member.
Pants escaped your mouth as you knelt down in front of him, you realised he hasn't cum yet and you wanted to taste him.
"Oh y/n you're such a good girl for me baby."
He whispered as you took him inside your mouth, letting him guide your head along his shaft with his fingers gripped in your hair. The rest of his shaft that you couldn't take in your mouth, you pumped with your hand to let him feel extremely pleasured. Jins cock twitched inside your mouth letting you know he was about to cum, you sucked the tip of his dick before opening your mouth and hanging your tongue out, ready for him. His white strings of release were left all on your tongue as he pumped himself with breathy moans.
He cleaned you up giving you a passionate kiss once the two of you were dressed, resuming your position in bed cuddling together as the credits of the film rolled down the blank tv screen. "Y/n we missed the film babe." He muffled into your hair with a small laugh escaping his lips. "It's okay baby, we can always watch it another time." You smiled back at him.
"You always know exactly how to take all my stress and troubles away you know?" You told him with a peck on his nose. He rubbed your arm lovingly, chuckling to himself. "It's what I do best y/n."
Unedited 25/3/21
1.6k words
This took me so long to write omg I'm sorry 🤍🙈
But anyways Hiiiiii :)
Masterlist
Wattpad - Namparktae for more one shots
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cultofbeatles · 4 years
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beginners guide to the beatles
 made one of these a long time ago but i'm surprised by how short it was. so here we go again. doing it right this time lol. 
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pov: you told a bad joke and now the beatles are judging you. 
john winston lennon. later in his life known as john winston ono lennon. 
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born on october 9, 1940 
i believe in astrology bc how does john just happen to be a libra 
when john was four he started living with his aunt mimi who acted more as his mother figure 
his mother, julia, remarried and would visit him quite a bit.
it was julia who taught john how to play banjo and piano. and she bought his first guitar.
they both had a deep love for music and rock n roll 
he never really thought of her as his mother but more as a cool friend i suppose 
aunt mimi was more rough on him and did the disciplining 
his father was never really present growing up and his uncle passed away when he was young 
he thought he was a curse for the men in his family 
he had five half siblings. two of them, julia and jacqueline, he was pretty close to. the other three he barely knew. 
fashion icon.
hated school but loved art 
very early on he was insecure with himself 
teachers always shit on him and said he would go nowhere in life 
he met paul at a church fete on july 6, 1957 
paul taught him how to play guitar properly.
once told paul that he didnt know how paul carried on after his mother died bc he just didn't think he could do it 
john’s mother died from being hit by an off duty policemen. john was seventeen at the time. 
 he took her death really hard and became a bit of a recluse. 
first serious relationship was with cynthia (we stan her) 
once cynthia cut her hair short and he didn't talk to her for two days. 
hate men. kill all men. 
when he asked her to dance at a party she turned him down saying that she was engaged, and so he said “well i didn't ask you to fucking marry me, did i?” 
slapped her once bc he was drunk and another boy was talking to her.
only time her hit her.
read cynthia’s books about john pls. i beg. 
once a psychic told him that he would be shot in the states.
founder of the beatles and also came up with the name.
instruments he could play: guitar, harmonica, rhythm guitar, banjo, keyboard, piano, saxophone, bass guitar, and a little drums. 
main songwriter in the beatles along with paul.
was more open minded to change in the beatles music. 
was insecure in his relationship with paul after a while bc he thought he only needed him for songwriting. 
would bitch about paul all day long but the second anyone else said something about him he’d be on their ass. 
had a lot of issues and needed a good hug. 
suffered from eating disorders, drug addictions, depression, insecurities, and questioned his sexuality bc of the time. 
was super open minded and ahead of his time in many instances. 
once he was called “the fat beatle” and after that he stopped eating as much.
truly loved his first son, julian lennon, and would buy him presents all the time bc he was excited to see him play with them.
“your famous ex husband”
he enjoyed playing monopoly. 
he once claimed that he saw a ufo.
he had written three books but he always wanted to write a children's book.
 the last song he ever performed in front of a live audience was “i saw her standing there.” with elton john.
he was afraid of the dark. 
found out later in his life that he was dyslexic. 
was also legally blind without glasses.
never could catch a break huh.
said that his best lyric ever was “all you need is love” i agree.
the first time yoko and john met was not at her art exhibit but actually when she approached him about giving away songs for free.
wanted to write a musical with paul. 
once a friend dared him to masturbate ten times in one day and he managed to do it nine times.
would hold circle jerks with paul and a few other friends. 
just dudes being dudes. 
went on a holiday with brian epstein, who was gay, and told some people afterward that they did certain sexual things. but we will never know for sure.
yoko says that john was bisexual.
once in an interview he said that he would of married a rich man or woman if he wasn't in the beatles. 
hated his voice on records. would always ask for effects on his voice for final recordings. 
made a film with yoko where it was just his penis going from flaccid to erect for fifteen minutes in slow motion. 
only beatle not to of become a vegetarian while he was alive. 
murdered on december 8, 1980.
gave his autograph earlier in the day to the man who would murder him.
died at the age of 40.
“all my loving” was played while he was at the hospital.
and its spooky bc a lot of times in interviews he would say “when i'm 40..” 
and it’s sad bc he was finally becoming who he truly wanted to be. 
honorable john moments that i love:
“thanks for the purpler hearts” he says while receiving the silver heart 
“you are the first person from liverpool that i've ever seen” “great”
eric lennon on my mind today 
this come together performance where he messed up the lyrics lol
that interview where paul was sick and john keep checking on him 
john lennon speaking nothing but facts 
when he said that he could see the beatles going separate ways but that they'd always come back together.
SHUT UP 
“shut up while he’s talking..”
this interview breaks my heart sometimes 
and this interview is great as well 
sir james paul mccartney 
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born on june 18, 1942
if you ever have spare time just check out this man’s natal chart. 
idk how he’s still alive with his chart tbh. 
he has a younger brother named mike and a step sister named ruth. 
his dad thought he was the ugliest baby he’d ever seen when he was born. 
when he was young paul would kill frogs in a way to prepare himself for the war if he ever was drafted. 
the first instrument he ever learned to play was the trumpet.
I don't even want to list every instrument this man can play but trust me when I say it’s a lot.
but for the beatles he mainly did bass, vocals, and piano. sometimes playing the guitar and the drums.
the beatles was just paul moving really, really fast. 
he lost his mother when he was 14 due to surgery for breast cancer.
never really learned how to cope well with loss of a loved one tbh. 
had the cutest chubby cheeks as a kid tbh 
met john and was accepted into his band 
sometimes they'd ditch school together and either work on music or would visit art galleries.
went to paris with john and john bought him all the banana milkshakes that he wanted.
connected over their love and admiration for music, and bc they had both lost their mothers. 
had a girlfriend’s mom who he would make comb his leg hairs. 
was an ass to his first girlfriend.
kill all men again. 
almost had to marry his girlfriend dot bc she was pregnant, but she ended up losing the baby.
was the one who introduced george harrison to john.
practically despised pete best and stuart stutcliffe bc they were bringing the group down. 
got arrested along with pete best bc they lit a condom on fire in hamburg.
still felt awful and a little guilty when stuart died suddenly. 
main force behind the beatles imo. 
without him we’d have not as much beatles music as we do. 
was dating jane asher throughout majority of the sixties. 
when they first met they talked about syrup and paul fell in love.
they broke things off after she walked in on him sleeping with another woman though.
directed magical mystery tour and it was amazing and I don't care what anyone says ok?
when john divorced cynthia he was the only one not scared of john and went against his wishes of not speaking to cynthia.
was a little controlling at times. 
has a good heart though. 
mal evans had to drive him home once after a beatles sessions bc he was crying so hard. 
was talking about getting the band back to touring when john said he was leaving the group. 
everyone kind of turned against him when the beatles were breaking up and i hate it.
he just wanted what was best for the band.
married linda and had a nice little farm. 
we love that story.
linda i'm free thursday if you want to hang out pls.
started up the whole “no meat monday” thing where you don't eat monday on mondays
food meat. not the other kind of meat.
children: james mccartney, stella mccartney, heather mccartney, mary mccartney, and beatrice mccartney. 
rip martha. 
WINGS!! 
he lost linda in 1998 due to cancer.
 cried for a whole year bc of it.
still has dreams about john and says they're nice.
wrote a sad song about john called “here today.”
really loved john. like..he truly, genuinely did. 
want someone to love me like paul does john. 
“think of me every now and then old friend.”
honorable paul moments:
his story about george’s dad 
“john? he was beautiful. very beautiful.”
humpty dumpty rap 
another story about him and george.
his google search video that I watch every week 
this 
george harrison 
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born: February 24, 1943 
or at least we think 
bc he use to say that his birthday was february 25, but later started saying it february 24. 
why can't we change our birthdays its not like we picked it 
he was the youngest child.
baby of the family and of the beatles awwww
two older brothers named harry and peter. one older sister named louise.
when george’s mom was pregnant with him she’d play sitar music.
his mom was super supportive of his career choice 
when he was 16 he worked as an electricians apprentice.
his dad kind of hoped he would start a family business out of it.
george said nah
would ride the bus opposite way of his house just to spend time with paul 
headbutted a kid bc he didn't think they were worthy of paul’s friendship 
was brought into the band bc of paul insisting to john 
would follow john around like a lost puppy when he first met him 
once had an eight hour erection. don't ask me how idk he said it.
was 17 when he lost his virginity and the other band members were in the room watching and cheered him when he finished 
most sex craved beatle tbh 
once walked into a girls dressing room and asked if they could stand there so he could masturbate 
he was the first beatle to go to america 
got a black eye for defending ringo once 
would make john and paul take turns sharing rooms with ringo when he first joined the band so that he felt more welcomed 
when ringo left during the white album and then came back george decorated the studio with flowers for him 
during the beatles first recording session he told george martin that he didn't like his tie
became a vegetarian at 22 
favorite candy was jelly beans and purple was his favorite color 
used the phrase “grotty” in the hard days night movie, hated it, but everyone else picked up on the slang 
met his first wife, pattie boyd, on the set of a hard days night 
was turned down by her at first 
they married in 1966
wouldn't let her do modeling stuff and was kind of an ass 
a stylish couple but not the best image for a healthy relationship 
got into eastern religion around 1965 
during the Hamburg days he would eat chicken on stage 
had an affair with ringo’s first wife maureen 
got a divorce from pattie in 1977
in 1978 he married olivia who he stayed with until his death and had one son with. dhani.
was the first beatle to hit a number one single and album. 
was buddies with led zeppelin
inspired their “rain song” 
smashed a piece of cake on john bonham’s head and then was thrown into the pool by him 
he financed and produced films. had a production company.
tom petty said that george never shut up once you started talking to him 
but he was often referred to as “the quiet beatle”
formed another band called the traveling wilburys
he’d answer questions online in the 2000′s and it’s the cutest thing ever and his answers break my heart too.
“what do you miss most about john lennon?” “john lennon.”
in 1999 a schizophrenic person broke into his house and stabbed him 40 times 
thank god olivia was there bc she was the only braincell in the room 
had to get a part of his lung taken out 
died november 29, 2001 from lung cancer 
ashes were scattered into the ganges river 
honorable george moments:
this interview he did with ringo 
“i'm sad bc i can't play guitars with john anymore. but i did that...i know we’ll meet again some day.”
when he invented reaction videos 
“the wind was blowing.” “..blowing my girl?”
“what kind of girl do you like?” “john’s wife.”
sir richard starkey aka ringo starr 
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born on july 7, 1940 
oldest member in the group 
has no siblings 
naturally was left handed but his grandma thought it was bad luck so he writes right handed, and plays drums with a right handed kit 
but does everything else left handed
when he was 6 he fell into a two month coma 
was a very sick child 
when he was 13 he was in the hosiptal for tuberculosis and formed a hospital band 
grew up poor 
loves and looked up to his stepfather a lot 
his step father bought him his first drum kit in 1957
wasn't that great in school bc he missed so much of it from being so sick 
he worked for a britain railway for a while 
also served drinks on a day boat for a job 
loves dancing 
Rory storm and the hurricanes 
got his nickname from all the rings he would wear
replaced pete best as the beatles drummer 
dealt with people hating him for a bit bc they liked pete more 
had to style his hair in a bowl cut to be in the band and i'm still mad at them for making him do that shit 
ringo i'm so sorry 
george martin didn't really like his drumming and had a session drummer come in for the first album 
in 1964 he had tonsillitis, pharyngitis, and high fever all at once and had to be in the hospital for a bit.
was worried the beatles would replace him for good 
he’s a cancer don't worry
was the first beatle to try weed 
drummers always go first huh 
married his first wife, maureen, in 1965 
she kissed paul, ringo, and george.
what a champ
honeymoon was ruined by reporters 
was really insecure in his relationship and needed a lot of reassurance 
had a great relationship with pretty much all the beatles 
but a great one with john 
john felt his most relaxed when he was with ringo
was once in a movie with roger daltrey 
divorced maureen in 1975 
his wife now is barbara bach who he married in 1981 
had alcohol problems 
once gotten so drunk that he beat barbara so badly that he thought he killed her 
put himself into rehab after that 
barbara lowkey looks like jan from the office 
children: zak, lee, and jason
zak is the drummer for the band the who 
peace and love 
but don't send me fan mail anymore 
peace and love 
ringo starr and the allstar band (starting 1981)
was the narrator for thomas the tank engine 
will play at paul’s concerts sometimes now for fun 
mad bc he came on stage during paul’s last concert show and it was on my birthday and I couldn't go to it 
honorable ringo moments:
“do you want me to come with you?”
stupid barbara walters 
talking about paul 
giving us a little dance 
485 notes · View notes
ivyglow · 4 years
Text
Hostage - Jack Eichel | Buffalo Sabres
a/n: Sooooo I took too long to finish this piece, I'm kinda happy with what it turned out and I hope you guys like it. Again, a huge shout out to Naty who proofreaded everything, thank you @tsarinablogs !!! ❤️
word count: 3.5k
warnings: cursing; mention of toxic relationships.
note2: there is a note at the end of the piece. Please read it!! :) thanks. Oh- and you guys can read it listening to Hostage by Billie Eilish or Figures by Jessie Reyez.
Prompt: #11 ”we’re not just friends, and you known it!”
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Do you know the line of really good friends but not enough to become best friends? Well, this line was something between Y/n and Jack. They were introduced to each other by a mutual friend and since day one they got along pretty well. He was funny and so was she. As time went by, the hangouts started to involve only the two of them, Jack always stopping by her house to talk, y/n always waiting to have dinner with him and so on. Maybe being able to draw the line was the main reason why Jack suggested what he did and why y/n accepted it. She liked him, more than a friend, but they were not close enough to become best friends and so things wouldn’t be messy if the deal did not work. 
“How was he?” Jack asks while sipping his juice and looking at the TV screen. “I don’t know, he was ok, I mean we liked each other, but there wasn’t this kind of chemistry.” She murmurs, trying to bring back the memories of her first boyfriend. The topic was caused by a scene of the movie about two best friends becoming each other’s first relationship. 
“Do I look like him?” he asks out of the blue, and she adjusts herself, trying to take a better look at his face as he fails to hide the thoughtfulness in his eyes.
“Why do you want to know?” 
“I don’t know..just thinking if maybe you have a type” Jack jokes and y/n puffs the air out of her lungs, while drawing one of her fingers to his face to trail the sharp of his jawline. This close, looking from this angle, laying just like this, he looked like one of the many busts she was studying last week. So methodicly sculptured, sharp jaw, perfect mouth, like it was a work of art with so much mathematics involved, chasing perfection. 
But the thing is: Jack wasn’t a sculpture at all. He was a human being and taking into consideration her beliefs his face was not created by science.
“He had short hair…,” it passes through her lips while still tracing his features, “the kind you can’t even thread through your fingers. And he wasn’t as funny, but he was loud and I thought it was sweet. He wasn’t into arts or movies in general, but, still, I liked him.” 
“So, we’re pretty much different…” he concludes and she shakes her head.
“Even if he had your height, or identical hair, or eyes, you guys would never ever look alike.” Her voice was abruptly deep.
“He had zero empathy with my feelings…” she confesses, it took her so long to realize it, took many breakups until she realized the blame wasn’t on her. “I don’t know how to describe the way he made me feel guilty about my own decisions and…” Jack could not do the same, right?
In fact, she felt deeper when it came to Jack, and so it could indicate that once he hurt her, it would be way worse, but he would not, right?
The hockey player did not press her to keep talking, actually, he didn’t want to talk about the subject, didn’t want to imagine someone as good as y/n being hurt, so he just started curling a random strand of her hair on his finger and shifting his attention back to the TV. 
It comes as no surprise that y/n was friends with almost the whole Buffalo Sabres’ team, she would go to every possible game and be able to talk about anything with them. So when they won and went to celebrate, of course she was there, excited to hug all of her friends and make some sassy comments about their game. 
“Wayne!!!!!” y/n squeals to the tall black man in front of her. “That pass was amazing, damn!” 
“You liked it?! Sam almost killed me, saying it was a dangerous move, ugh” he engulfs her small body in his large frame.
“It was not that bad, but mine was better..” Dominik stumbled in the talk putting his arm around y/n’s shoulders. 
“Dom!!! Your game was not that bad today” she jokes standing in her tiptoes to give him a kiss in the cheek.
“What an insane game, I don’t know if I can celebrate properly, there’s so much adrenaline still…” he says while leaning in the bar bringing his friend’s body with. 
“Ooooh, baby’s want to go home?!” Wayne pokes his side and the three of them laugh. 
“By the way, where’s Jack?” y/n asks, already missing his curls and sense of humor. 
She’s not the type of person who gets attached in a way that creates codependency, usually, she’s chill, but somehow with Jack, there’s this constant desire of being close, hold hands, hear his voice or at least know he’s thinking about her too. 
But it’s not something she verbalizes, it’s one of the many things she keeps to herself, scared of scaring him, she prefers to let her feelings eat her inside than share it with him and create the slight possibility of an end of their affair. 
“Hmmm...he’s...I think…” Waynes seems a little stressed to answer and when Dominik squeezes her shoulders she knows something is wrong. “What’s up, guys?” 
Y/n turns to the left-winger player holding her and before she could press him to say something, there’s a loud commotion on one table close to them. The table of the players. The table where Jack just arrived with a girl hanging by his side. 
He’s holding her by the waist, hands a little bit lower and bodies too close together. There’s this flush on his cheeks matching the visible bruise in his neck, none of them are from the game and y/n knows it the second her eyes caught it. 
“Oh-” it’s the only sound she is able to make even though she wanted to say to both boys around her that it was okay, that her and Jack were just friends who sometimes happens to kiss and have sex, and share movie nights, and hold hands at private parties, and sleep together when the night feels lonely. Nothing more, just friends after all.
“Just ignore him, sweetheart” Wayne is not trying to defend his friend and it shows.
Her eyelids feel heavy and her breath caught in her throat like she just swallowed the slice of lemon in her cup. When it feels like her knees are giving it, the drink is not to blame this time. 
“I’m okay” she whispers.
She can almost hear the voice of her girlfriends, telling her to let Jack go.
Oh, but boy, was she a stubborn girl. 
The trio keeps talking and eventually, some other players and their girlfriends join the conversation. Jack and the girl make out for a few minutes and when he leaves the table to get a drink on the bar, he just smiles at y/n like nothing ever happened. 
That night, unlike Jack, she went home alone and cried herself to sleep.
It was a Thursday afternoon, one week after the club incident, she had just arrived from class and was filling in her bullet journal, before taking a bath and starting to do her work. Today was a productive day, easily so, her mind was not focused on thinking about Jack or trying to figure out how to talk to him, what to tell him and how hurt she was. Y/n and Clarice, her best friend, went to study at the library. And being the social butterfly that she was, Clarice invited some other friends, one of them was this brunette boy from one of her classes and for the first time they talked about things other than university and due dates. He was a pretty nice guy and they exchanged numbers at the end of the study session.
Even though she had to constantly brush Jack off her mind, it was actually nice to enjoy someone else’s company and feel wanted.
The knocks on her door startled her and y/n left the bedroom, walking straight to the living room, asking herself who it could be.
“Eichel?” she furrowed her brows. It’s like someone punched her right into the chest and for some seconds the air seems far away from her body. 
“Hey, I was just a little worried, you didn’t text me or anything…” he rocks back and forth in his heels a little stunned since she didn’t give space to him to get inside. 
“I was...busy” the words ‘I’m sorry’ almost slipped through her lips. 
“You’re free now?” he furrows his brows and y/n sighs lowly. “I actually got some stuff from university to do...if you don’t mind” the last part is said once his face drops a little. No one would have noticed, but she did because she knew his features like no one else. 
“I don’t...I could use some Netflix and chill and keep you company?!” his lips are stretched into a small smile, the one he usually does when he’s suggesting something and he’s not sure the person is open to it. The one he does every time he fucks up, like he did the other week. The one that usually comes with the big blue eyes staring deep into her soul. The one that always is able to make her give up.
And this time is no different.
She steps aside giving him room to get inside.
“I’ll be in my room, I need some silence to work on this assignment” it’s her best strategy to avoid him or at least be able to have some minutes of productivity. 
“Oh, I’ll be on my phone then,” he smiles, big this time. “You won’t even notice I’m in the same room.” he tries for a light joke but somehow it punches her right in the gut.
It was impossible for him to go unnoticed. At least in her world. He was so close to the center of it that sometimes she asked herself if he wasn’t the sun. 
Well, in this solar system he was the sun and she was mercury, too close, almost melting, unable to receive others. He was the closest she could ever have and cold? She never felt it.
Jack made himself comfortable on her bed while she typed away on her laptop. Or tried to type away, because once or twice he would giggle to his cell phone or get up to get water or whatever. 
“Can you please stop?!” she asked abruptly when it felt impossible to focus on her work.
“Sorryyyy” he smiles -big-, and turns his attention back to the phone. 
After half an hour and three pages, she gets up to pee and stretches her body. Jack was engulfed by his phone, typing eagerly and too distracted to notice she was walking past. Well, who could blame him?! Probably, any other person in his situation would be distracted too, it’s not every time that his hookups are open to send nudes in the normal chat - usually, they would go for Snapchat or something like that. 
“What the fuck?!” y/n stops in her tracks when her brain finally processes the image on the screen of his mobile. “Are you really sexting some random girl? In my house?!” 
“I’m not sexting, we were talking and she happened to send a picture asking my opinion…” 
“Of course, your opinion about how good her new bra looks!” her tone was angry covering how betrayed she felt.
‘Sis, he can’t even be named a cheater since you guys are not dating!’ this tiny voice inside her laughed at her feelings and remembered the bitter truth. 
“Hey, it’s not a big deal, ok?!” he rolls his eyes, suppressing the little smile in the corner of his lips. 
“It is a damn huge deal!” she almost screams. “You can’t be that blind, Jack!” 
“About what? I try my best to listen to you and do as you like and-”
“Oh my fucking god!” she grunts. “How do you pay attention to my feelings and try your best to listen to me after what you did last week?! And oh! That shit happened two months ago too and oh! I almost forgot every time you came up with a new shit that leaves me heartbroken and guess what?! You don’t come to talk to me about it, because you don’t even try to pretend that you fucking care with my feelings!” 
“Oh- what the hell, y/n?! What’s that outburst about?! Are you really fighting me like this because of a random nude?!” he left the bed, standing right in front of her. The phone forgotten on the mattress. 
“You don’t even get it, Jack…” she mutters, lips quivering.
“Well, then tell me and I will. We’re friends, y/n, we’re not supposed to have this kind of miscommunication-” 
“We’re not just friends and you know it!” her voice a few tenths louder. 
“And we’re not a couple either and you know it!” his voice is lower. Almost like he knew how deep that sentence could cut her heart.
‘See?! I told you!’ her gut screams inside her head, her own heart being the target of pity and laughs inside her. 
“Get out, Jack” y/n sights. 
“I’m just being hones-”
“GET OUT!” she screams, tired of his voice, tired of his cold heart, tired of him and most of all tired of how he made her feel. One minute in the top of the world and the other so low that rock bottom wouldn’t even live up to how she really felt.
Jack did not try to talk, or hug her, or say that he was wrong, maybe sorry?! He did nothing besides grabbing his phone and leave her house. 
The indifference kicking hard one more time in the same spot that was bruised: her heart. 
It’s been two weeks, Jack was on a road trip with the team and since the incident, he gave no signal of wanting to talk. So there was Clarice trying to make y/n realize that she deserved a lot more than someone like him.
“...And it feels like he’s the sun sometimes. I just feel cold and heartbroken now, you know?” Y/n grumbles laying on her bed and facing the ceiling.
“WhAT?!”
Clarice’s tone startles y/n.
“What?” she asks back.
“You can never ever make someone or something the sun of your system. It’s too dangerous, don’t you see it?!” 
She stays silent for some seconds trying to absorb her friend’s words.
“It’s not like I have a choice though…” the voice that left her mouth was a strangled one, hoarse from all the cry and scream-on-the-pillow-session.
“You do! We always do. We have a choice when we decide that we won’t take that bullshit anymore, we will focus on ourselves and nothing less. Nothing can be the center of your life, not an object, not a goal, not a person and even less so a relationship, cause once some of these things are gone?! You’re broken, too.”
Clarice gives her a sympathetic look before going for a hug, she knew that it was exactly what y/n was needing, to feel warm with anything other than Jack and eventually learn to feel it by herself.  
“I thought he was different…” she whispers.
“We all do, sweetie, we all do…” Clarice runs her fingers under y/n’s eyes trying to stop for some seconds the tears from falling. “But there’s this singer I really like and she says that it’s not our job to be someone else Karma. It’s not your job to fix him, you can help him with that, but first?! First, you need to heal yourself, we can’t lift others if we are on the ground as well.” 
Y/n took the rest of the day to rest and cry a fucking river, as Justin would say. Clarice was staying with her during the week since the two had a college assignment together and y/n could use some company. Especially if her company would make her laugh every possible time and help her with sad thoughts. Y/n spent more time with the boy from her class, Daniel and she was happy to receive all his memes and trash-talk always. 
It was almost midnight and she was deep in reading an article from college when her phone buzzed.
A message from Dominik. 
It was a picture of him holding a really colorful and big cup of drink. The team was probably celebrating one more win.
Dominik: guess the name of this drink?”
Dominik: I’m kidding, don’t.
Dominik: It’s actually ‘Y/N‘, you have the name of a drink here lol can you believe it?!” 
She giggled with her friend’s drunkenness and opened the photo again. He had this big smile, the one that makes your eyes almost close and his cheeks were red probably from the alcohol. In the background of the photo, however, there was a well-known figure laced with a girl.
Jack was kissing her and y/n wasn’t even surprised. She was hurt. 
He wasn’t different at all and she felt silly for believing it for so long. 
At the end of the week, when the team just landed in the city, y/n received a message from Jack.
Jack: Hey, just landed. Missing you like crazyyyy.
Jack: Can I go to your place?
Jack: we’re cool right?! 
She sighed. 
Some days without him and she was able to realize how fucked up things have been. 
She was considering a date with Daniel, her classmate, and hopefully this time Jack was not going to stop it, not like he did the other times when she tried to make the “not-exclusive” deal work for both of them. He would always show up at her house and keep her in her bed until it was too late to go out or say so much bullshit she would end up cancelling it. 
y/n: Come over, I need to talk indeed. 
She just started to realize she had been a hostage of a lot of things, college, some feelings from her childhood, her toxic family, etc. So it felt enough of playing the soft one if she was having the opportunity to stop being held against her will. 
It was twenty minutes before the knock on her door. 
He was there, smile in the corner of his lips, just like he would do after messing up. She was going to forgive him because she was trying to love herself enough and to carry hurt was a burden she was not going to put in her backpack. In fact, keep the bad feelings would only make it worse.
She smiled back, slightly, almost invisible. But he saw it, not because he knew her face as nobody did, but because he was paying attention like never before. 
“I missed you,” he mumbles entering the apartment. 
“I don’t wanna take too long, Jack. I just want to be honest with you.”
“If it is about th-”
“No. Please, let me...let me just finish ok?!” 
“Yeah, go ahead” he nodded.
“I don’t want to see you anymore. Not while I’m trying to heal. You can’t keep using me like that, can’t keep acting like I don’t have feelings, acting like seeing you in doubt did not kill me inside. I love you! You’re my friend, Jack, and that’s even worse cause it feels like I’m losing you twice. Just let me go, stop making my feelings hostage.”
“I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know.” She sights. “But you did. And I’m sorry Jack, but looking at you right now – the only thing I can think of is that you look exactly like him…”
“Who?” he furrows his brows.
“My first boyfriend, the one I once told you would never look alike.”
“And you never told me why you thought we were so different…” 
“Because he didn’t care about me. He didn’t love me as much as I did and still, he kept me, I guess maybe because of the feeling of possessing someone, maybe afraid of loneliness…Still, he kept me hostage for long enough and I’m not letting you do the same.”
She handed him a box with some of his stuff that was at her place. 
It was the first step and it was a small one, but she was trying to leave the place and the people that made her feel worse. 
She was a hostage of a lot of things, some feelings from her childhood, her toxic family, Jack, but one by one, she was going to break the chains. It was enough of hurt and sorrow and madness, if she could stop being held against her will, she would.
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note3: during this time and because of some events I realized I don't feel 100% ok writing about Jack, I decided to finish and publish this one in respect to the anon who asked (and I replied saying it was ok). So yeah, there's nothing about him in my inbox anymore and I just want to let you guys know that :) thanks.
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