#i wont be able to answer too many questions as i am not a business major like my roommate is
Note
umm how dark are u willing to go? I'm thinking abt turning to a life of prostitution and the ghoul being your first ever client and he's not very gentle about it, (plus you're scared bc he's a ghoul ffs) in fact he's very smug bc he's the first client, probably buys you for the night :) mwah xoxo
Working Girl
Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Sex Worker Female Reader
Word Count: 5,411
Warnings: smut (18+), sex for pay, rough sex, knife play, cannibalistic threats (he's joking...kinda), spitting, hair pulling, humiliation, rope play, dacryphilia, face and throat fucking, cum facial, some dubcon elements, soft-ish ending (I cannot help myself).
Notes: My answer to that question is "darker than this", anon. I suppose I should probably put together some sort of "wills-and-wonts" pinned post, though, honestly, there aren't many of the latter. With smut and romance content, I think it's important to keep an open mind and broaden your horizons. We are cool with sex work and sex workers in this house, by the way.
I had to let this one stew a bit to decide what direction I wanted to go with it. I'm obsessed with the idea of Cooper menacing around in New Vegas, so I hope you're alright with that. I am also obsessed with the outfits the sex workers outside the casinos wear. I went a little crazy with the length on this one, but I'm super happy with how it turned out. Hope you like it! XOXO
The uniform you'd been given for your new job was absolutely humiliating.
Sure, you looked...nice. They'd fed you, for once you'd had plenty of water, got the first chance to bathe that you'd had in weeks, maybe months. You'd even been able to wash your hair, a rare, rare thing that still had you trying to smell the silky strands as they blew by your face. Initially, you'd felt quite confident, actually; the cropped top even had sleeves, the tight black skirt and heels making your legs look quite nice, even if they were uncomfortable to walk and stand in.
However, your confidence had diminished a bit when they'd given you the black leather collar to wear around your neck, reducing to basically zero when you actually stepped outside to begin your work.
Okay, you had technically done this before, traded sex for medicine or repair work or a place to stay. Honestly, at this point, you thought you'd had more sex for trade than sex for pleasure, the latter hard to come by for someone as picky about actual dating as you. But it felt like one thing to have someone offer it in the moment, when you were truly desperate and a spur-of-the-moment decision was distastefully easy to make. This, standing along the New Vegas Strip and advertising yourself for it, felt like another. A late evening breeze blew across the road, stirring up some dust and making you shiver.
If you were honest with yourself, you got off easy. You weren't sure what the guys and girls with the chains around their bodies and their nipples exposed had done, right or wrong, to earn that uniform, but you weren't eager to find out.
There was a man across the way, leaning against the wall in the shadows outside the tram station, a lit cigarette hanging loosely from his hand. You couldn't see his face, obscured by a dingy, wide-brimmed cowboy hat, his figure hidden as well by a long, dark duster that was incredibly ratty at the ends. He'd been there a while; you weren't sure how long, but you were fairly certain he'd been checking you out. His smokes were lasting an awfully long time.
You'd been told that oftentimes johns were too nervous to initiate the transaction themselves, that you needed to be fun and flirty and try to hook them in yourself if you wanted any business. It didn't help that you, too, were nervous to initiate, but you wanted this to work out, at least for now, and no one else had been interested so far.
"Hey there, handsome. Are you looking to party?" you called out to him, waving as playfully as possible.
That got him, the burning red cherry at the end of his smoke glowing brightly for a few seconds before he tossed it to the ground, exhaling a big cloud of smoke as he stubbed it out with the toe of his boot.
"Handsome, huh? It's been a hot, hot minute since anyone called me that, darlin'." he drawled, his voice actually quite nice. His footsteps gave off a funny little jingle you couldn't place, and you calmly took him in as he approached. But then he came close enough that you could see his face, see the pits and the sunken eye sockets and the gaping hole in the middle of his face where a nose was supposed to be.
A ghoul. Holy shit, he was a ghoul.
Now, you didn't have anything against ghouls, per se, not like some people certainly seemed to. You didn't like the idea of anyone being barred from towns and outposts or harassed just because of what they were, to no fault of their own. You still gave pause at the idea of sleeping with one. Couldn't it make you sick? Didn't some ghouls eat people? Or was that just the feral ones? No, that was stupid. There were people who ate people in this world. Of course a ghoul could possibly eat you.
"Busy the rest of the night?" he asked as if it were automatically the response he'd receive.
You tried your best to giggle playfully, desperate to no longer have to stand outside and solicit for a while, even if it meant your first trick was a doozy.
"Not if you've got the caps." you replied, clenching your shaking hands behind your back.
"Oh, I've got 'em, sweetheart. So." he asked, looking you blatantly up and down. "Are we gonna party or what?"
The two of you made your way into the casino, the bright lights throwing intriguing shadows across your new friend's gaunt face. You left him at the front desk and told him where could meet you after he relinquished all of his weapons, including the big gun strapped to his back. You'd be happy to see that go.
After you left him, you went to the back to check in and described the john you were going back with. When you said he was a ghoul, you expected some sort of reaction or concern, but all the older woman behind the counter did was produce a Rad-X from a half-empty bottle and push it across the counter at you along with a room key.
"Room three. He paid for the night." she said flatly, barely looking your way. "You're gonna wanna take that now, not later."
You picked it up and turned to walk towards the back rooms where the dates happened. You were a little floored he'd paid for that much time; you'd been anticipating an hour, maybe two. But all night? Did turning into a ghoul give you some sort of super stamina? Or did he have other plans for you?
As you passed by the doorway to the gambling floor, you could see him still standing at the counter emptying his pockets.
Just how many weapons did one person need?
Hesitating a moment, you waited to catch his eye, holding up your hand and flashing him three fingers. He gave you a slight nod, and you continued on, unlocking the third door down the adjacent, isolated hall. The rooms weren't much but the basics; a dingy but functional bed, a chair and side table with a jug of water and a few glasses in the corner. A lamp with a stained shade. A clock to keep track of the time. That was about it. You poured yourself a small glass of water from the jug and swallowed the Rad-X down, a bitter taste coating the inside of your mouth. Pulling a face, you took a fidgety seat at the foot of the bed to wait for your companion for the night to arrive, leaving your uncomfortable heels on.
Don't take off the shoes before the john gets in there, you'd been told. Some guys like to take everything off themselves.
You were pulled from your ruminations by the sound of the door creaking open, making you startle ever-so-slightly as he entered.
The people at the front desk had almost certainly offered to take his hat and coat, but it seemed he had declined. Maybe he had some particular personal attachment to them, you thought as he shucked the dirty duster, hanging it by the door. The hat remained on as he turned and appraised you, sitting straight on the bed, your hands daintily in your lap. He still wore a few layers, but you took comfort in knowing that he'd had his pockets emptied. They'd let him keep the lasso he'd been wearing, though, and you eyed it cautiously as it hung from his hip.
The ghoul didn't say anything to you as he crossed the room, pouring himself a tall glass of water and sitting in the chair, drinking it down as he stared at you. That sent you squirming ever so slightly, uncertain of how you were supposed to react.
"So, how long have you been in town?" you asked, eager to fill the silence. He didn't answer for an unsettlingly long time, finishing the first glass of water and pouring another.
"Long enough. Just blowing through." he replied, brim over his eyes and glass over his mouth.
"Ah." you responded, unsure what else to say to that. Things were quiet again for a long time, several minutes passing as you watched him dig an inhaler out of his pocket and take a long drag. You weren't sure what it was; you'd recognize a Jet container. Lots of people used it.
"I was surprised you wanted me for the whole night." you confessed.
"That right?" he responded. "Not in this line of work long, eh?"
"Oh. Uh, I guess." you replied, taken aback by that. "It's just that all night's a long time."
You were trying to make your voice as sweet and seductive as possible, despite the tingle of worry creeping up your spine.
"It sure is." he replied, a glint in his eye that you couldn't read. It frightened you a little, but you told yourself you were overreacting. Another few minutes passed by, another puff of the inhaler, before he raised his hand, still wearing those thick gloves, and beckoned you over. You stood, somewhat shakily walked over to stand in front of him as he sat reclined in the chair, and waited for him to direct you.
"Alright," he said, voice calm as ever as he suddenly produced a long, slender blade from...somewhere. "let's get that outfit off."
This, of course, sent you screaming, turning quickly to flee towards the door. However, he quickly appeared behind you, a hand moving to cover your mouth with one of those filthy gloves as he yanked you back into his chest, making you stumble in those awful shoes. The smell of leather and gunpowder washed over you.
"Jesus Christ." he said, mild annoyance in his tone as he held you almost effortlessly with the one arm. "If you're already screamin' like this when we ain't even had any fun, maybe you ain't cut out for this, baby doll. Never seen a knife before?"
Your hollering choked down into a little cry as the strange-smelling glove muffled you, as you took in what he said. You desperately didn't want to fuck up this job on your literal first night, didn't want to lose a chance to have some stability, a roof over your head. But you couldn't stop the way your brain screamed at you to run. He brought the blade back up to your eye level, turning it to and fro, as if to show it off to you, the small silver blade glinting dangerously in the lamplight.
"You aren't supposed to have that." you whimpered between his fingers, trembling.
"Lotsa people do things they aren't supposed to in this world." was his reply as he slid the blade directly between your breasts, slicing through the crop top from hem to collar. You swore you felt the blade swipe your skin, and it made you gasp in fear, but when you looked, the skin was untouched.
His hands made quick work of the button and zipper of your skirt, dropping it around you feet and leaving you standing before him in nothing but your underwear and your uncomfortable shoes, your heart clamoring in your rib cage.
Looking you up and down once more, he stepped back and took in the whole scene before slinking back down into the chair in the corner, his hands moving down to undo his own belt and fly. He paused, however, to invite you forward again, urging you to close the few foot distance between you. You moved as instructed, still shaken as you stood a foot or so in front of him.
"Kneel."
Carefully, you lowered yourself down onto the scuffed old floor, cool against your bare knees as you looked up at him.
From this angle, it was much easier to see his whole face, including his eyes, and they were gorgeous. You hadn't noticed before, between the nerves and the hat, that they were like pools of dark honey. They distracted you so much that you missed him actually tugging his cock free. When you looked down at it, you were pleasantly surprised at how normal it looked, save for the radiation-roughened texture of the skin. Save for that, all the normal parts were there in normal quantities. You let out a very soft sigh of relief.
"Well, go on." he said, brandishing the thing at you like a weapon. "If you're gonna be a whore, you gotta act like one."
You could feel yourself pouting at his statement, and you hated it, hated the way his words rang through your brain, but you felt some ease at finally getting into something you had experience with, at least. Promptly crawling forward the last foot or so, you let yourself sit a tad more comfortably, leaning forward and reaching out to wrap your fingers around him.
"Uh-uh." he corrected, stopping you in your tracks. "If you're any good at it, you shouldn't need your hands."
This gave you some pause, scanning him over as your palms came to rest on the bit of exposed chair between his legs. Slowly, you leaned forward and dragged your tongue along the underside of his erection, sending it twitching at the contact. The man sitting before you hummed in approval, fully reclining against the back of the chair to watch you closely as you cocked your head somewhat awkwardly to allow your lips to wrap around the tip. He tasted differently than you were accustomed to, you thought as you began to let your head bob up and down on the first few inches of him, your tongue running along the leaking slit; there was an almost metallic aftertaste to him, like licking a cap.
"There you go." he praised lowly as you slid down to take as much of him as you comfortably could, his right hand coming to softly fist in your hair. The movement made you vaguely suspicious, and rightly so, as a few moments later, his other hand joined the first, and together they held your head in place, his hips pistoning up to fuck your face. You tolerated it well, only gagging at the last few thrusts when it seemed he was trying to push deeper and deeper. When you did, the sensation made him pull your head back, his saliva-coated cock laying against his leather-clad stomach as he appraised you, his eyes largely obscured again, drool all over your lips and chin.
"Let's move over to the bed, shall we?" he said, already standing by the time he finished.
Awkwardly, you attempted to right yourself out of your kneeling posture, but before you could even try, he stooped and grabbed you around the waist, tossing you over his shoulder like you weighed absolutely nothing. He was so strong and it made you blush as an indignant sound left you.
"Hey!" you let out before you could stop yourself. You weren't supposed to complain, but it felt like he was almost antagonizing you.
"Allow me." he replied, shooting you a look over his shoulder.
He dropped you down back onto the foot of the bed rather unceremoniously, your hair falling in your face and eyes; when you moved it away again, the switchblade was back in his hand, and you screamed again, unable to stop yourself.
"Keep it comin', sweetheart. I doubt anyone's rushing in here to help you. Honestly, I think they'd respond quicker if you quit screamin' for too long." he said, mocking.
"Quit scaring me and I'll quit screaming!" you shot back, righting yourself so that you were at least properly sitting upright.
"Boy, you sure do love to run that filthy little cocksucking mouth of yours, don'tcha?" he sneered, grabbing your hair again and yanking you close. "Pretty sure I'm payin' you to put out, not to bitch."
The blade traced back down your cleavage to dig into the waistband of your black bra, quickly slicing through it as well and sending your breasts popping out, the now damaged garment hanging uselessly from your arms. The ghoul insistently urged you down onto your back by your hair, and you followed, your legs dangling over the foot of the bed past your knee. For a moment, he simply looked at you.
"Open your mouth." he demanded, leaning over you.
You did as you were told, the command not unusual, but then he puckered his lips and let a rather large gob of spit fall onto your tongue, sending you gagging and scrambling to sit up.
"Nope. Swallow it." he said, maintaining that painful grip against your scalp, keeping you on your back. "You need to remember where your place is right about now, girlie."
Incensed, you hesitated a moment before forcing yourself to do as he told you. Your face was burning bright red with humiliation. He was still leaning over you, bringing the sharp edge close to your skin again. You steeled yourself, calling his bluff despite how dangerous that felt, trying your best to keep your eyes on his, challenging him as he traced the point across your flesh.
"Such pretty, smooth skin." he muttered, watching your reaction closely. "Looks good enough to slice a piece off and eat..."
As he spoke, he let the sharpened edge dig fully into the side of your breast, and you let out a whimper, your stomach rolling at the feeling, at his words. You were certain he was about to really hurt you.
However, he stopped after a moment, pulling the thing away to reveal nothing more than a thin red dash the length of the blade. A kitten scratch. A joke. You looked to him rather incredulously, and he rolled his eyes, folding the edge back into its handle, showing you that it was fully closed before tossing it across the room, landing with a thud in the chair.
"Since you're so afraid of it." he taunted, putting his hands on your hips to flip you onto your stomach. "Hands and knees. Face down."
A frustrated huff escaped you at this newest little jape as you pulled yourself up into the proper position, watching him out of the corner of your eye, your face buried in the musty mattress. It was hard to focus your vision like this, but you watched him move up towards the head of the bed until you couldn't see him anymore. There was a sound you couldn't put your finger on, quick and quiet, but by the time you could even hazard a guess at what it was, he'd seized your right arm by the wrist and was wrapping the rope he'd been carrying around it, finishing it off with a knot. This was enough for you to risk a quick glimpse in his direction, only to see that he'd used the lasso to tie your arm to the head of the bed. Your heart raced as he gave the knot at the headboard a yank before disappearing behind you, tugging your collar loose and dropping it on the floor.
He left the heels on.
"It's funny that these fancy casinos think all these dirtbags and desert rats'll come in here and just give up every weapon they have willingly. That's not how things work out there, and it's still not how they work in here, no matter how much they pretend it is." he mused, his voice making it seem almost as if he were talking to himself and not you. His still-gloved hand petted at the round globe of your ass.
Now you were annoyed. Why was he fucking with you like this?
"Are you a dirtbag or a desert rat?" you muttered into the sheets, jumping when he suddenly grabbed you by your hair again in response, holding you tight in his grip as he forced you to look at him.
"I'm the first thing, darlin'. It'll be good for you to learn the difference." he said, actually smirking at you, at the pained look on your face as the feeling once more burned in your scalp, one of his hands slowly moving up the back of your thigh to stroke your mound over your underwear. Quickly, he pushed them aside, his longest finger tracing up and down your embarrassingly wet slit, and you bit your lips hard to muffle the moan you wanted to let out.
Soon, he was working that finger inside you, then another, and another, all in quick succession; this wasn't about making you feel good, it was about making sure you could take him properly. You could feel the head of his cock nudging against your bare ass cheek, leaking and throbbing. He was eager, no matter how cool and calm he seemed to be.
"Spread your legs more." he mumbled, knee pushing at your right leg to "help" you open yourself wider for him. You did as much as possible, feeling like you could fall at any moment. However, you tensed again when you felt the tip of him slip through your folds, collecting some of the wetness there before sliding down to press at your entrance. You held your breath.
It burned when he pushed inside, though whether that was because of the rough texture of his skin or because you weren't completely prepared, you didn't know. He didn't give you much time to adjust to his size, simply bracing one knee against the mattress as he began to fuck you. The sound of flesh slapping flesh filled the room, his blunt cock head slamming painfully against your cervix.
At one point, he shifted himself higher over you, seeking a way to be deeper inside. The change in angle caused the slick head of his cock to slip out of you for a moment, pressing against your taut asshole for just a split second, but it was enough to make you panic, squirming wildly beneath him. Pure fear shot up your spine. He only laughed sardonically, tugging your hair to make you look over your shoulder at him.
"You're lucky I ain't real mean, sweetheart." he murmured, slamming his cock back into your leaking, sore cunt. The way it hit hard against your already tender cervix made you whimper, but you were glad he didn't do what you'd thought he was gonna do. It was upsetting you that you weren't more upset, frankly. The whole thing made you wanna be sick, especially the part where you were insanely close to orgasm suddenly.
"The funniest part of all this is that you're still gettin' off on it." he called you out as if he could read your mind.
You desperately shook your head, silent tears beginning to run down your cheeks and tickle onto your chin. You weren't enjoying this, weren't enjoying the rough way he was using you. You certainly weren't enjoying those strangely captivating eyes pinning you as he held you down.
"Please." he scolded. "It's one thing to be a whore. It's another thing to be a liar."
That actually managed to draw an embarrassing little sniffle from you; not his taunts, but the fact that you were fluttering so enthusiastically around him at his words. The man on top of you tilted his head again at this, watching you teeter on the edge of something terribly amazing.
"Poor pretty thing." he cooed with fake sympathy, rubbing away an errant tear with his thumb. Your neck ached at the angle he was holding it at. "Open."
You obeyed, and he spat in your mouth again. It actually didn't have much taste, and you swallowed with no complaint, your brain foggy from the rough way he was fucking you. The feeling of humiliation was still there, creeping hot up your back, but it also made you clench hard around him.
"Fuck." he snarled, suddenly pulling back from you, standing beside the bed again, one hand jerking himself as he grabbed you up onto your knees once more, his fist in your hair as he rubbed and slapped his throbbing cock against your face.
"Open your fuckin' mouth." he growled, pushing himself as far back down your throat as he could go as soon as you did, both hands cupping the back of your head as he skull-fucked you with wild abandon. Your hands braced on his hips, your efforts to blunt his thrusts futile. You gagged and choked and drooled as he used your throat; embarrassingly, one of your hands appeared on your swollen, aching clit, rubbing it in tight circles as he began to throb.
"Shit, girlie, you're gonna make me cum." he panted, pulling himself back from you, leaving you sputtering for air as he resumed rubbing his cockhead on your lips and cheeks. His eyes were burning into yours. "Better keep your mouth closed."
You clenched your lips between your teeth just as the first jet of his release hit your cheek, much thicker and hotter than you'd anticipated, another and then another, seemingly an endless amount covering your entire lower face, dribbling from your lips and chin as he groaned and growled his way through it. Your hand was still rubbing furiously between your legs, and he must've noticed, slipping his fingers down in place of yours and rubbing those same circles, his rough touch just what you needed to fall over the edge as well, moaning loudly as your whole body seized.
Everything was eerily quiet and calm as you both let your breathing settle, one hand supporting his weight against the wall by the head of the bed for a moment, his eyes hidden by the hat once more. Surprisingly, he undid the knot at the headboard, then the one around your wrist, tossing the rope down onto the floor next to the bed as he went rummaging around in his pockets. You noticed that he was tucked back away into his pants. Suddenly, a dingy handkerchief was pressed into your palm; it took you a moment to realize that he intended for you to clean the mess from your face with it.
You set to it, the incredibly thick, almost gelatinous substance difficult to wipe away with the thin square of cloth, but you managed to make it happen. Mostly. As you tidied yourself, he pulled the inhaler from one pocket and a rumpled pack of cigarettes from another, taking a puff and jamming a cig between his thin, cracked lips. He paused to hold the pack out to you, and you shook your head.
"You can take a break, kid. We've got all night." he said, lighting the smoke and sitting down on the edge of the bed.
You supposed he was right; you were absolutely exhausted physically after that whole ordeal, and it was his time. If he was alright with you resting some, you'd rest some. Carefully, you crawled up and laid your head on one of the pillows, your side against his back as he sat there, smoking and righting his clothes. In the back of your head, a little bug nagged at you.
"How did you know?" you asked, voice almost timid.
"Hmm?" he replied, his focus seemingly on re-winding the lasso.
"How did you know that, uh, tonight's my first night on the job?"
This got him to turn to you, a mischievous, but not unkind gleam in his gaze.
"I watched you for a while. Just got off the tram when you came outside, wanted a smoke. Noticed you. Couldn't not notice you. You looked like a nervous little bunny out there, just waitin' for a hawk to come and snatch you up."
"So you decided to be the hawk?"
"Yep."
You were both quiet again at this, the perfectly coiled rope now sitting near your feet. Outside, you could hear the clinking of glasses, the drunken laughter of gamblers and bar patrons. Your eyelids were so heavy.
You'd sort of assumed that you would want to cry yourself to sleep after what you'd been through, between the roller coaster of emotions and the general humiliation of it all; oddly enough, you didn't. Instead, you drifted off into a brief, fitful rest, dreaming of disgusting leather gloves and radiation-pillaged skin.
-
The Strip at twilight was quite the sight, the neon and bright colors washed mute by the early morning hues. It would be nice to stop and admire if you weren't so desperate to get out of town.
As much as you were loathe to admit it, the ghoul you'd been with the night before was right; you absolutely weren't cut out for this. You'd hated every single second of trying to entice people to pay you for sex, the way people had looked and leered at you as they'd gone by. Besides, your employers gave you the impression that they didn't have your best interest at heart. They also gave you the creeps.
And if anyone in the future wanted to go further than he had, you now knew you wouldn't be able to handle it. Though, you'd be lying if you said that you hadn't learned some things about yourself.
An unidentifiable feeling passed over you as you thought of him.
You'd awoken, shocked you'd managed to sleep at all, with quite the start, eyes frantically jumping to the clock to find that only about half an hour had passed. To your genuine surprise, the ghoul was gone, several hours still left in the time he'd paid for. The jug of water on the table was empty. You'd waited dutifully, naked on the bed, for the remainder of his time slot. You'd even kept the heels on. At first, you'd wondered if he'd maybe gone to the bar for a drink. But after another hour passed, you were fairly certain he wasn't coming back. Despite yourself, you were strangely disappointed.
At the end of his paid time, the end of your shift, you checked back in at the desk, collected your pay, and immediately went upstairs to collect your things.
Your meager possessions were few enough to fit into a little drawstring; you'd cast a quick glimpse at the destroyed shirt the man had cut off of you, crumpled on the floor with the rest of your uniform after you'd changed back into your dingy street clothes, before tucking it away into the bag. You weren't sure why. After that, you'd tucked the bag up inside your jacket, calmly walked outside for a "smoke", and kept walking until you made it outside the walls of Freeside, feeling like there were eyes on you the whole way. It was only once you were past the border of the junk fences that you allowed yourself to pause and take a shaky breath.
"You made the right choice." came a familiar drawl from behind you.
The voice startled you, already on edge as you worried about being followed from the casino, sending you freezing in the middle of the decaying road. Through the dusty haze, you could make out his hat and coat, emerging from behind a barricade of concrete, smoke in hand. The big gun was back in its place, slung loosely across his broad shoulders.
"You scared me." you hissed, your hand resting on your flying heart.
He tilted his head at you, those hauntingly beautiful eyes scanning you. He gave a shrug, which was very apparently not an apology.
"Where you headed?" he asked.
"I dunno." you confessed flatly, trying your best to not fidget in place. "Not here."
He took a long, long drag off of his smoke before dropping it into the dirt, stubbing it out with the toe of his boot before looking up at you underneath the brim of that accursed hat. Everything felt very familiar, all of the sudden. Another transaction waiting to happen.
"Quite the coincidence. I'm also headed 'not here'." he replied, quietly assessing you as he leaned against the barricade, lighting another cig.
You hesitated for a moment before responding, considering some things. But eventually, you replied, tone teasing:
"Looking for some company, are you?"
He smirked at you, smoldering cigarette hanging loosely between those vicious teeth.
"Sure am. Interested?"
You crossed the rest of the way over to him, standing close. The smell of leather and gunpowder washed over you once more.
"If you've got the caps, handsome."
#cooper howard#the ghoul#cooper howard smut#cooper howard x reader#cooper howard x you#fallout tv show#fallout prime#submission
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who am i?
Have you ever looked in the mirror and seen something looking back at you?
As a child, yourself. Small and in clothes you don’t care about too much, with wide eyes looking back, questions. So many questions that you want answers too. Some will be given, some discovered over time and some will forever be a mystery for you.
You look at yourself and ask if its really you. Your reflection copies you exactly. And it doesn’t answer. It never will. Its merely a reflection of you. Or so you think.
Time passes. You grow up. New questions. New experiences come to pass, you discover what you like and hate. Make friends, loose them. Family grows and shortens. An endless amount of things happen during that time.
You don’t look in the mirror as often, with those wide eyes and abundance of questions, now with some answered and others still, like many years ago unanswered. Who am I?
Life goes on. You grow up. You don’t look in the mirror at all. Busy with work, school. Busy with life. Those close friends you meet up with. Visiting family. Making sure you eat and have a roof over your head.
And in a few years, thing might settle down. You’ll be standing there in that room. With that mirror looking at your reflection. Expecting to see that small child wearing those clothes with those wide eyes you remember so vividly. A happy moment where you were able to question anything and everything.
Now, looking back at you is…well. You. Eyes less wide, tired from age and life showing its presence on your face. Happy, sadness. Love and hatred. All those years ago, you never worried about anything. Now bills, work and family are so evident in your life, you can look in the mirror and pinpoint where they take presence.
Looking in the mirror, your reflection in time asks the same question as always. Who am i?
and for the first time. One day. Maybe that day. Or in the future, maybe long ago when you were discovering so much about the world. Both of you will smile.
A wide smile with a calming realisation as you can recognise that person for the first time in your life as yourself.
you’ll look in the mirror and say ‘ that’s me, that’s who I am.’
And when you do. Life wont seem so complicated anymore. Because that question from so long ago will finally be answered. Because you’ll know that’s who you are, you are where you want to be. And that nothing else is necessary.
Because you can feel relief in a sense that isn’t fashioned into words.
But can easily be reflected into those wide eyes that once belonged to a questioning child, now in a knowing adult who can walk away with only one more question to answer.
‘what am I having for dinner’
#self indulgent#this is purely self indulgent#questions#i think i need something like this sometimes#is this reflective of how i feel right now. no. but someday
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So my roommate spent all of today writing up a report for Critical Role as a company and I really don't know much about business stuff but I think it is fascinating. Read to the end for a wild ride.
"Okay here is my idea of how Critical Role is actually structured based on what public information exists:
At Geek and Sundry, “Critical Role” as an entity was essentially a partnership between all cast members. The only asset this partnership had was the intellectual property of CR and the only Revenue it took in was licensing that IP to Geek and Sundry. This is because Critical Role Partnership was adamant about maintaining ownership of the IP. This license then pays out between the partners. Percentage
ownership of Critical Role Partnership is divided based on money put in, and previous work done. I would be very surprised if Mercer did not own at least 25% but probably not more than 50%, and the others are probably more or less even. At this point, the cast members both draw a salary from geek and sundry as employees (or contractors), and collect drawings from the licensing of the IP and also royalties as actors. When Orion leaves, the others almost certainly force him to sell out his ownership portion and he probably gets royalties from Geek and Sundry (and later CRPLLC). At this point, this licensing agreement is the only transaction that the entity “Critical Role” actually conducts.
Geek and Sundry pays to produce, distribute, and market the show, and takes all profit. It also takes some aspects of creative control, but probably not that much, though this is listed as the reason to leave Geek and Sundry. At this point, Critical Role continues to license with Geek and Sundry’s parent company Legendary Digital Networks and incorporates their partnership into a Limited Liability Corporation “Critical Role Productions”.
The ownership split is probably kept mostly the same, unless someone decides to sell portions of their shares, but I don’t see why they would. The shareholders (or owners) at this point hire a bunch of employees. Some roles they hire themselves, like Willingham as CEO and Mercer as CCO, and some they hire outsiders like COO Ed Lopez, SVP of Marketing Rachel Romero, and VP of Business Development Ben Van Der Fluit. Those who take additional roles will take salaries for those roles, as well as a salary for acting and writing, and dividends from profits. It is likely that Lopez got a certain amount of shares because C-Suite Executives often do as bonuses because it’s non-taxed income until he sells it and it incentivizes maximizing profits because that would increase his dividends. The other employees probably did not receive shares, so as not to dilute the percentage ownership further.
Critical Role seemingly has no board of directors (it’s possible they have one which is not public), which only happens when there are so few shareholders that they can all convene and take votes (Usually less than 20 owners), implying they don’t use investors to raise cash, which is consistent with a desire to retain creative control. This also means that it is up to all of the shareholders to vote on decisions about the managers of the company instead of a board. That means the only way they could fire Willingham as Chief Executive Officer is if all of the shareholders convene and vote for his firing. Without a board of directors, which often has independent outsiders, this is typically seen as bad for the company’s interests, but is legal in this case because it’s a limited liability corporation and they do not trade on an exchange .
Over the next year or so, CRPLLC makes a new studio and Geek and Sundry gradually relinquishes the distribution rights to older episodes. At this point everyone who works towards the function of the production and distribution of shows is an employee of CRPLLC and not Legendary or Geek and Sundry. For the past couple of years, Critical Role has licensed various brand crossover products like Funko Pops and The Darkhorse Comics. Funko Pop pays CRPLLC for the character likenesses and keeps all profits. CRPLLC also produces its own merchandise like t shirts and that sexy calendar that they pay manufacturers to produce and CRPLLC makes the profit in that scenario. They also have advertising revenue, which is a straightforward revenue stream.
Throwing back to two paragraphs ago, if they don’t use investors to raise cash, how can they afford to embark on a new expensive project that wouldn’t pay out until the future? Well, they could take out a loan (ew interest), save more money in retained earnings forgoing development in other areas (what do you mean we can’t afford to redo our website?) OR
They could do an 11 million dollar kickstarter! This would allow them to retain ownership of both the company and the product, because kickstarter is essentially just buying really expensive merchandise! People will buy a 30 dollar mug if it also comes with the promise that if enough people do it, they’ll make a tv show. Kickstarter money is revenue, not financing and it’s actually against kickstarter’s rules to promise equity for backers. Instead, kickstarter backers assume the risk that investors take (albeit on a smaller individual scale) with none of the benefit besides knowing that they helped make something exist. Compare this to if I, Callie invested $11 million into CRPLLC.
If the Legend of Vox Machina completely bombs and bankrupts CRPLLC which was kickstarted: CRPLLC would have to sell off all of its assets, resolve its liabilities (pay people for work done before laying them off, pay off bank loans) and whatever is left over would be split between the owners. Do they owe you, the kickstarter backer, for not making the show? Legally no. You chose to give us that money and had to trust we would spend the money well to make a good show and we spent all our money making sure our tree leaf animation looked good and could only afford to make 2 episodes.
If the Legend of Vox Machina completely bombs and bankrupts CRPLLC and it was Calliestarted: It would still be the same, except now Callie, the person who put in a lot of money for this show, is also an owner, and at least gets a slice of that money after the debts are paid off.
If the Legend of Vox Machina is really successful and it’s kickstarted: Good job, you did it! You got a fun tv show and like a t shirt! Fun!
If the Legend of Vox Machina is really successful and it’s Calliestarted: Not only do I get my fun tv show and probably also every piece of merch that exists, I got mad paid as an owner, not just from the show itself, but as we sell more and more merchandise because I’m a part owner of the company. I then continue to make money from literally everything else the company does until I decide to sell my shares or the company goes bankrupt.
And even better news! Amazon Prime bought the streaming rights for two seasons, so now I, Callie, have even more money from that sweet sweet licensing money.
Speaking of which, it is likely that the Amazon Deal is structured as follows: Amazon pays CRPLLC to license LoVM, with the stipulation that kickstarter backers can access the first 10 episodes legally. CRPLLC pays, with Kickstarter and Amazon money, Titmouse Inc. to produce LoVM. CRPLLC makes the difference between what they paid Titmouse (variable cost, depending on ultimate cost of animating) and what Amazon paid them. Amazon makes the difference of what they paid CRPLLC and what they make at market with LoVM. Amazon is the only company that stands to profit directly from the actual product of LoVM doing well. If it does poorly, there’s the possibility it gets cancelled, meaning that CRPLLC (and maybe Titmouse if CRPLLC already commissioned the work from them) will still get paid by Amazon, but never released. It’s possible that other companies could buy the license from Amazon in this scenario. This is the risk of selling your show to another company.
CRPLLC also has one subsidiary and one associated foundation: Darrington Press LLC and The Critical Role Foundation
Darrington Press LLC is an imprint of CRPLLC created to design and produce card and board games with the Critical Role IP. DP has 3 listed employees, Ivan Van Norman as Head of Darrington Press, Darcy L. Ross as Marketing Manager, and Mercer as Creative Advisor. As a subsidiary, it is wholly owned by CRPLLC. DP pays manufacturers and contractors to design and manufacturers games and pays for its own advertising, as a separate entity from CRPLLC. DP will likely sell its products to games distributers and the Critical Role Store. If the Critical Role Store sells DP games it’s because CRPLLC bought them from DP. The relationship between DP and CPRLLC is that when DP makes a profit and pays dividends, the recipient is CPRLLC. If DP goes bankrupt and cannot pay its debts, CPRLLC is not required to pay them. CPRLLC also chooses DP’s Board of Directors, which is probably just the owners of CPRLLC. This is all very ordinary. DP has four announced games set to release in 2021, but as of yet has not released any products or made any revenue.
The Critical Role Foundation is a registered non-profit and legally distinct from CRPLLC with seemingly no employees, with Johnson as President, and 4 other Board Members: Mercer, Lopez, Romero and another person named Mark Koro, who is a figure very closely tied to critical role I will outline later. Lopez and Romero are also in a long-term relationship or perhaps marriage. It is usually considered a bad idea to have two partners on a board of directors, as a conflict of interest can arise easily. As a registered non-profit CRF’s projected breakdown of donations is 85% grants to other non-profits, 10% emergency fund allocation, and 5% admin costs (this would be where possible future employees’ salaries would come from). Board Members on non-profits traditionally don’t take salaries, but can use their role as a board member to calculate donated time as a charitable donation for tax purposes. This all seems pretty normal. It’s not stated if or how much CRPLLC itself donates to CRF, including its initial endowment, besides the donation of free advertising, as no donation matching or any other programs seem to be advertised. In terms of an initial endowment, it seems that the only money put in was immediately spent on filing fees and legal fees, meaning the initial endowment was less than $5000. As a result, CRF operates from donors and possibly is not funded at all by CRPLLC. Any money that is donated from CRPLLC’s profits to CRF would be a charitable donation and lower CRPLLC’s taxable income amount. CRF began collecting non-taxable donations in May 2019, and as of December 8, 2020 CRF has yet to publish their 2019 financial statements, so not much is publicly known of how much money is raised by CRF and if they achieved their desired breakdown.
Now to talk about Mark Koro. Koro is an executive of Governmental Affairs (some places list director and others list VP) at Qualcomm, a telecommunications technology company with an annual profit of $7.67 Billion, and is estimated to make $20 per smartphone sold. Every smartphone. Qualcomm has been sued by China, South Korea, Taiwan, the EU, and the USA for anti-competitive behaviour. Koro’s department of Governmental affairs is responsible for negotiating and bidding with governments for contracts and rights to airwave frequencies, and also lobby and develop proposals for telecommunications legislation and policy. Before this, Koro worked at the National Security Agency in their corporate relations department liaising with defence and intelligence contractors. Before this, he worked in the George H.W. Bush administration as The National Security Advance Representative. This entails preparing logistics and security for Presidential events and dispatching Secret Service Agents to respond to Presidential Threats and continued in this capacity under following administrations until 2008. Koro was also an advisor to The Deputy Director of the NSA (the second highest position in the Intelligence Agency), and was a consultant to The Lawrence Livermore National Library, which is
“self-described as a ‘premier research and development institution for science and technology applied to national security.’ Its principal responsibility is ensuring the safety, security and reliability of the nation’s nuclear weapons through the application of advanced science, engineering, and technology.”
These positions are all listed on Koro’s biography on the The United Nations website for the International Telecommunications Union Radiocommunication Sector (accessed Dec. 8, 2020). Mark Koro has no public associations with Charitable Work.
There is little online about Koro’s association with Critical Role, besides an article stating that Koro, as a fan of the show, in 2016 matched $50,000 worth of donations to 826LA. Koro’s associations with a monopolistic technology company, the NSA, Nuclear Weaponry, and multiple presidential administrations would be cause for alarm for many of CR’s fans, but if it were a purely professional relationship, it could be excused as including him for his business accumen, but Mark Koro is mutuals on twitter with all of the cast members and Brian W Foster, Britney Walloch-Key. This might seem like normal professional courtesy, but there is a lot of interaction between Koro’s account and Critical Role Employees’ personal accounts that reflect at least a close personal relationship between people that he would not interact with regularly just as a board member of a legally distinct organization."
P.S. 100% of Critical Role's Chief Officers are men in relationships with female subordinates.
#critrole critical#long post#i wont be able to answer too many questions as i am not a business major like my roommate is#its about the transparency for me#also theres more but this post is so long as it is
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mess that you wanted % doyoung
pairing: idolbf!doyoung x reader
genre: angst, fluff
word count: 1.5k words
requested: yes
synopsis: both tired from your work; doyoung busy being an idol and you busy preparing for your company’s big presentation the two of you started arguing over the smallest things.
warnings: one or two curse words idk, mentions of passing out due to starving, mentions of being hospitalized.
"you don't understand how i feel!" you shout as the argument between you and your boyfriend escalates. it all started when he asked you to eat before him and his members go for a schedule.
he tried to calm himself down before speaking, "y/n, how am i supposed to know what you feel if you won't tell me what the problem is?"
you glared at him, knowing damn well that you aren't able to tell him what the problem is because he was barely by your side. it's not like you're expecting much from doyoung, you know that he's busy being an artist.
but all you ever ask is for him to be there to listen to you like the way you listen to him whenever he tells you about the rude encounters he had backstage and how his day simply went.
"tell me what's up?" he asked as he cupped your cheeks, you were about to speak when you saw a head peeking at the door, "doyoung hyung." haechan called.
you both looked at him, "sorry, noona. but we have to go now." he smiled a little before heading out.
"tell me." doyoung continued to ask, "doyoung, you guys need to go." you told him, knowing that this isn't the right time to talk about the imperfections of your relationship.
"please-" he wasn't even done pleading but you cut him off, "doyoung!"
you started to feel bad as you see the shock in his eyes, "you should go." you said, trying not to speak with a shaking voice. he even hesitated to go until some of the members shout his name.
"can we talk about this later?" he asked, you harshly closed his eyes trying not to shout at him again, "doyoung, i'm kinda tired. i don't think i can keep waiting."
"please?" he plead with his eyes, the shouts from outside the door began to get louder, "just go." you insisted before removing his hands that had been holding yours for a long time now.
left with nothing, doyoung began to walk out of the room. still with care in his eyes as he closes the door.
once you heard the engine of their van start, you started to pack your things as fast as you could. because staying in here wouldn't help you unwind and calm down. you might even end up breaking some things that you don't want to break if you'll stay here.
you walked your way to the bus stop trying your best not to get caught by anyone while you walk out of their dorm. you don't even have enough energy to hide, but you tried to understand that once the media sees that there is a girl leaving NCT 127's dorm, they would make a big fucking fuss out of nothing.
as you sat on the bench, you started rummaging through your bag, trying to get your wallet. but once you put your hand inside, you knew that you left your laptop in their dorms. even though you wouldn't want to go back, there are important files there. you didn't work your ass off the whole week for your presentation just for it to be left there in the dorms.
with bottled emotions all you wanted to do was scream and curse the hell out of the world, but instead of doing that you just quietly walked your way back to the dorm. and your day couldn't go any worse, as it started pouring heavy rain and you don't even have an umbrella with you.
the instant that you opened the door to open the dorms, you felt an unexplainable ache in your head. the ceiling started getting shaky, but you ignored it and focused on getting your laptop. but even before reaching the table, the shaky living room began to turn black. and you fell on the floor, cold and alone.
on the other hand, doyoung and the other members started getting ready for a radio show but there is this feeling that can't keep doyoung calm. so taeyong tried to help him, "it's okay you guys will be okay."
"i know." he sighed, "we have to be."
"it will get better. i mean, both of you fought a lot but look, you're still together after all these years." taeyong tapped his shoulder.
he just kep quietly nodding while taeyong tries to cheer him up, "taeyong?" he called out, johnny stopped talking and just looked at him, "can i ask you a favor?"
"anything i can do." taeyong offers.
doyoung grabbed his phone and wallet, "can you make up an excuse for me? i have to go back to the dorms." he asked, "just say that my stomach felt a little upset or something."
taeyong nodded, "anything for you." he gave doyoung his car keys and the man rushed out the building, trying to get as little attention that he can get. he started driving fast back to the dorm that even flash himself is humiliated.
as soon as he arrived, he rushed inside. and there, he saw you there laying on the floor soulless. "y/n!" he shout at an instant, he tried to wake you up but you wont. so when he sees you breathing, he carried you into the car and hurried to the hospital.
a minute to an hour passed, but as every second go doyoung grows more worried and impatient. he thought to himself; if only he wasn't so busy and had time to be there for you, none of this would have happened.
"guardian for patient lee y/n?" the nurse called, so doyoung immediately stood up. "she's currently in room 301, her doctor will tell you the details about her condition." she said before going, so doyoung ran as fast as he could to see you.
but since it is considered that today isn't your luckiest day, the elevators are taking too much time to reach his floor and he doesn't have enough time to wait for that. so he just climbed through the stairs.
and when he reached your room, he was barely breathing and hardly sweating. "sir, are you okay?" the doctor worriedly asked. doyoung nodded, "i'm fine, i just climbed using the stairs." he said.
"how is she?" the doctor answered, "she's fine. we just saw that she lacks some nutrients and was heavily dehydrated. but she will be okay, we put her on iv and prescribed her some vitamins that she can take."
with that said, doyoung was able to breathe properly. "she was also cold due to the weather, but again, she will be fine." he said. "no need to worry that much, just make sure that she wouldn't skip any meal and that she takes enough fluid." after asking some questions, the doctor goes out of the room.
doyoung kissed your hand that he has been holding this whole time while he waits for you to wake up, "doyoung?" when he heard you call him with your weak voice, his eyes started to water.
"y/n." you're confusedly looking around, "why are we here?" you asked, while he patiently answers your question you started to feel bad.
"i'm sorry." he apologized, "this wouldn't have happened if i was a better boyfriend."
you shook your head no, "i disagree. i should be the one who should apologize, if only i listened to you. if only i ate more, this would never happen. but i was stubborn."
"no-" he was about to say something when taeyong barged inside, "okay stop with all the apologizing." he said followed by the rest of the members. "you guys should apologize to me! my new car is all wet now." he jokingly said.
"you lent it to me, and now you're angry?" doyoung argued in a joking manner. they continued to bicker the whole night you were there.
when you told doyoung that you're ready for a relationship, you have never pictured hanging out with his famous celebrity friends. not even the thought of them being there while you're resting on a hospital bed.
"okay! all of you can go now. y/n needs to rest." doyoung shoo his friends out the room. "goodbye y/n!" they said, so i waved my hand at them, "take care! eat the fruits we bought!" you hear johnny shout before doyoung shuts the door.
"sorry. i texted them earlier because i was so nervous." he said, "it's fine, they're fun to be with after all."
"yeah yeah, but no one compares to me, right?" he sked as the two of you sandwiched in the tine hospital bed. you smiled at him, "of course." then plant a quick kiss on his lips. "now, leave me alone." you said and rest your head on his chest.
"sleep tight, love." he said while he plays with your hair.
being a busy man's girlfirend it isn't the best. but you could say that having doyoung as your boyfriend isn't the worst. as he is more than just the doyoung who sings, but he's also the doyoung who thought you many things and helped you throughout anything. you were a mess but he still made you feel wanted.
#nct#nct imagines#fluff#angst#nct fluff#nct angst#nct x reader#nct doyoung#doyoung x reader#doyoung imagines#doyoung fluff#doyoung angst#idolbf doyoung#postalenha delivery#doyoung smut#smut#nct 127#taeyong#johnny#haechan#jaehyun#taeyong imagines#dotae#johnny imagines#jaehyun imagines#haechan imagines#nct 127 x reader#female reader
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Hello! Here I am. ✨ We were talking about 1H Scorpio moon, let's talk about it more. ❤️
(Also, I have this question, if its alright with you and it makes a big deal of my chart: I'm a libra rising but like 70% of my 1H is occupied by Scorpio. Though i feel like a libra rising but i definitely feel that my 1H is affected by Scorpio too and the same way with other houses. And its alright if you answer just the scorpio moon question 😅)
Thank you. Take care ❤️
hii sorry for replying late i was really busy with school but there you go <3 i'm mostly gonna talk from my experience
SCORPIO MOON 1H TRAITS
🍒i think most scorpio moons are there for anyone to talk about their problems and emotions but no one's ever really there for them. i think the main issue here is that we don't talk about our problems and still expect people to be there for us. and when we notice that we don't want to cause a problem and stay silent. idk if that makes sense? so the problem goes on and we try to fix our problems by ourselves and keep having trust issues.
🍒we really have intense emotions and mood swings and since we don't want to scare people away we don't show them our this face. we tend to bottle our emotions up and when we explode it scares us and people around us. because it mostly happens when we expect it the least. a tiny coincident happens and boom. we explode.
🍒we want to keep ourselves a secret and adore it when people try to solve us when we know they probably wont be able to.
🍒AHHH MANNN once someone breaks our heart it is done... a boy once broke my heart and i have never ever been the same since then. it feels like death, fr. we do forgive but we NEVER forget. we're not gonna tolerate any bs sis. it is a very "tower moment" for us. a new beginning since scorpio literally represents transformation, rebirth. we often have big turning points in our lives.
🍒we are so damn loyal and no one can prove me wrong about this. someone could do so many wrong things to us but we still would be there for them if they needed help. some of you may would call this idiocity but is it tho?
🍒there's a big dilemma in our brain about emotions. should i tell them how i feel or should i not? and everytime the answer is 'no, you shouldn't.' sometimes it is very hard to deal with our emotions by ourselves and it's totally fine to get help. no one's gonna betray or stab us in the back. we have to acknowledge that.
🍒people have no idea how hard it is to talk about my feelings because in the first place i dont even know what i'm feeling? i can't understand it and it drives me crazy. everytime i try to label what i feel, i can't name it. why do i feel this? what's causing me to feel like this? and believe me i never found the answer.
🍒we're very jealous but don't show it. literally all i can say is we feel every damn emotion but it's only when we're alone and no one's there. people need to know if a scorpio moon shares their problem with you or cries in front of you, you are so damn special to us. and if you react in a bad way, you're done to us. we're not gonna say any other feeling to u💀
🍒moon in 1H wants to express how they feel, show what they feel in their faces. they want you to undertstand how they feel from 6 feet away. but scorpio moon wants to hide it, keep it as a secret. they only want to show how they feel to someone really special. so it is a challenging combination for the native but not to worry about too much. scorpio is very smart so they already know how to deal with their emotions by themselves. but if they are lost, they feel numb and emotionless almost.
🍒most scorpio moons feel their emotions in every part of their body. from head to toe. it's not like a mental thing for us. we literally can feel our heart breaking, shattering. not just our heart but also our body. shaking, feeling the pressure etc.
🍒🍒🍒
and to your question:
yes, having scorpio moon 1H absolutely can make you feel more like a scorpio. since it's first house and it's self. we also have to look at your whole chart. maybe you have more pluto aspects. that could also affect it. or maybe you have 8th house placements idk. so that's totally understandable. i am a libra venus dominant mysef but so many people ask if i'm a scorpio when they first see me. :)
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this was a really rush post sorry if it's not good enough :( have a nice day<3 i'd like to know more about your chart since ours really similar!
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Let’s talk: Vlive Asks and comment/chat discussions
From @cottoncandykings: Hello! As u probably know jimin just went live recently and again he mentioned mandaggo and discussing about doing it with tae. I just find it so weird though. I mean jimin keeps constantly mentioning it and its not like vminnies were begging or dying for a vmin live everyday even before jimin mentioned it last year. Even now most including myself dont really care that much ofc i m happy if they do one together. But the way jimin keeps mentioning it is so weird. Like surely if he wanted to do it so badly he could have talked to tae privately and arranged it by now. And if tae is the one that doesnt want to do it then idk why jimin is pushing it. But what was really weird to me this time was that he said there were lots of comments about mandaggo yesterday in zoom call and yet they didnt mention it yesterday but suddenly today without prompting he talks about it. I also hope no one spammed the zoom call chat or the vlive chat with requests for vmin live (i didnt see any) bcoz thats just unnecessary and demanding. I hope vminnies wont demand/ ask for another memeber when one of them is live. Its just disrespectful. This turned into a rant sorry. Do you think it was weird too?
Since Admin 2 can’t type their thoughts themselves, I’ll relay their thoughts to you instead, since they had more thoughts/opinions/ideas in regard to this than I do, to be honest.
Admin 2 is sure that there is a good chance that we will get a vmin vlive sometime soon, which I know contradicts their original opinion and post from a few months ago, but there’s a reason for it. During the zoom meeting between BTS and ARMY they noticed something I don’t think anyone else noticed, or at least neither of us has seen any vminnies mention it anywhere, which in conjunction with Jimin’s vlive today and saying how he’d talk to Tae about doing a mandaggo vlive again, as well as another observation a little while ago, leads them to this conclusion.
So, the observation from the zoom meeting. Basically at one point when the question of Jimin doing a vlive arose Tae looks at Jimin and then he nods while smiling which in turn makes Jimin smile as he turns away from Tae and back to face toward the camera before answering the question and saying how he’ll come visit us the next day. Which he did.
Then the other observation from a while ago, this one being from their OT7 vlive celebrating their BBH100 #1 on June 29th where at one point Jimin says something but slips into satoori after which Tae encourages him to say that again but this time in the Seoul accent, so the way they actually should speak, which Jimin says isn’t difficult but he doesn’t actually end up repeating what he said.
And lastly in today’s vlive Jimin mentioned how he’s using satoori quite often but that he isn’t all that good at doing it on command or at teaching it to others, which is something he’d have to do for mandaggo but I’m sure he’d manage just fine if the time came for it.
Based on that Admin 2′s thoughts are basically that Jimin really meant it when he said, last year, that he’ll bring Tae around for a vlive, that it wasn’t a joke or a way to tease us with something he knew he wouldn’t be able to deliver, but rather that up until this point they weren’t quite sure how to do it. Which sounds a bit odd, I know, but what they mean is that if vmin were to just sit down in front of the camera and were supposed to just talk based on what the chat would give them, it would likely just turn out awkward and weird and no one, including them, would really have fun. Even more so when we take into account how idiotic the chat is during regular vlives so now imagine if those two were to do one together that’s just a casual chat. It would likely end up in disaster and honestly I wouldn’t wish it upon them to read all those awful comments that they would likely get, even worse ones than they already get normally, to be honest.
But now that the whole satoori thing was brought up, and Jimin actually mentioned mandaggo and wanting to bring it back after so many years, Admin 2 thinks that they must’ve finally figured out a solution to their problem, if you can call it that. Doing mandaggo would basically mean they would have an activity, something to do similar to how they did those ASMR videos for the Japanese Fan Club which were fun and cute, and so Admin 2 thinks that perhaps chances are we will finally get the vlive we’ve waited for so long (though like many others I’ve long given up the idea).
Another confirmation is that during his vlive today Jimin basically said that he only came by for a little while since they are quite busy and had to soon get ready for work with the other members but that he’ll return in two or three weeks for a more proper, longer, vlive. So, he could’ve treated today’s vlive as the promised one but instead he saw it more as a bridging one between the zoom meeting and the proper vlive he wants to do, so is it the farfetched to think that he had proper plans for a vlive, like doing mandaggo, but it just wouldn’t have worked out time wise today so he moved the actual vlive he wanted to make to a later date?
One last thing (well two actually) that has nothing to do with this question but Admin 2 wanted me to include it anyway is that one, have you noticed how Tae and Jimin were both on weverse around 3 am (until almost 4am (also both of them posting a comment to some post at 03:41 am KST)) one after the other (though with one day of a break in between them) recently and then also two, that Jimin was up until like 6 am (since he posted on weverse around that time) on the 8th and then during the zoom meeting Tae answered a question by saying that he’d been awake until 6 am the previous day (also the 8th) since he wanted to see the sunrise? Which is also something an anon mentioned to us. Curious, isn’t it?
From anon: I request both admins to please post this ask. So jimin wwnt live today and one of the accounts on twt posted a screen cap of them commenting 'touch your hair if vmin is real' in the live chat and jimin's reaction to it. Now idk if it is an edit or real. No matter i just want to say its not ok to bring up ships in front of the members no matter which ship it is. We dont know the reality of their relationship so lets not make them uncomfortable. Its not a joke. Its not funny. Be respectful the members are real people.
(Admin 1 taking over from this point onward) This ask nicely ties into the last one that’ll be further down in this post since they cover a similar issue of sorts. But let’s start with this one asking about, essentially, vlive comments and the things fans ask/comment, which also ties in with the above ask as well.
The thing with the vlive chat, and especially comments/questions that are like anon said, questions or “commands/requests” about touch your hair if XYZ ship is real or cough twice if you love XYZ member or, likewise, comments such as where is XYZ member or what are the other members doing, unfortunately those have been a steady and unchanging part of the vlive chat since basically forever. It’s been an issue on and off with different intensities though I feel like it’s gotten worse again this year. Particularly if we look back at the vlive Tae did with Hobi and Yoongi and how essentially the entire chat was filled with comments related to Xkook and not much else.
If my memory doesn’t fail me we once even had a situation some years ago (2016) where the chat during Hobi’s vlive was so bad, as in so full of questions about that other members instead of him, that you could see he was upset about it and eventually he handed over the vlive to Jimin, whom the chat had requested Hobi to visit, and Hobi just left. And I can’t blame him for it since the chat must’ve made him feel like basically no one cared about him so what was even the point of him being there, right?
Personally I’ve long given up looking at the comments during vlive because they just make me cringe and feel bad for the members, especially when I think back to vlives such as Yoongi’s D2 one last year where he was so excited to talk about the songs and the process of making the mixtape and yet so many of the comments were just unrelated nonsense and annoying request like speak english or can you say my name or say hello in XYZ language. If it makes me question why the people posting those questions are in the chat, why they are fans to begin with, imagine what the members must feel like, how discouraging that must feel like. After all they are musicians and yet so rarely do they get questions about that. Or rather they do get them but they are just drowned out by nonsense. Which is a shame. And also very disrespectful but any attempts that were made to remind people to be respectful, to remember their place as fans, to focus on the member that’s doing the vlive instead of asking about the others, and to keep ships away from the members have failed because some don’t care and will continue to not care.
From anon: what are your opinions on the Qs that were asked during that zoom meeting thing between BTS and ARMY?
Now I’d like to preface my answer to this last question by saying that by no means do my grievances come from a place of jealousy or anything. I’m very happy for all the ARMYs that won their spot, that they got to participate in the event and that BTS got to see ARMYs again even if only on screens and not in person still. No, my issue stems from something completely different, and I don’t want to say that the system chose the wrong people, because that would be mean and also who even knows how the winners were chosen, if it was pure luck or there were some actual criteria that went into the process, but the fact is that only a select 200 ARMYs got that spot out of however many that applied, so basically for some this was a once in a lifetime chance, right, even just getting this close to asking Bangtan a question and have really great chances of having them give you an answer while acknowledging you somewhat instead of just seeing pure words on a screen, you know what I mean?
Now imagine you are one of those 200 ARMYs and you get the chance to fill the chat with questions along with the other 49 participants of your session and you decide that asking questions such as what it’s like for Jimin to work as angel, if Namjoon ever broke a bicycle, or why JK smells the crowns of the other members heads? Or even worse, you decide to ask about JKs shower routine and in which order he washes his body? And sure, the “fault” doesn’t fall completely on the ARMYs alone, after all it’s the members who read out those questions and not some magical off screen entity, and since I wasn’t part of the event I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty that no one asked any “proper” questions, but if those were the questions that ended up being read out loud, is it that hard to guess that likely all the questions looked similarly?
Which brings me to my main grievance of it all: have you forgotten that you are fans of musicians and not reality TV stars or vloggers/influencers? I know there were likely no rules for what questions you could or couldn’t ask (except for probably ones that were 100% about shipping or far too personal), but really, you get to ask your favorite band a question, something you might never, ever get the chance to do again, and your first thought isn’t to ask about their music but instead about some unimportant nonsense like the angel question or if they differentiate between the clothes they wear at home and those they sleep in? Like sure the angel one was kinda funny, maybe, and Jimin handled it in a cute way, I applaud him for it, but was that really necessary?
I know someone asked JK about Decalcomania, as well as Tae about his mixtape, and Yoongi/Jimin about Tony Montana (season 2), but other than that were there any other questions about their music? Perhaps I’m overthinking things, maybe I’m exaggerating and maybe I’m the only one who sees an issue with this, but if I would’ve won a spot, I’d rather have asked something about their process when writing lyrics or creating beats or how they prepare when learning new choreographies, what it’s like to be on tour (though perhaps that would be a mean question seeing as tours aren’t really something that’ll continue being possible for a while still), you get the point.
It makes me wonder if it was just bad luck or if it had something to do with how old the participants were (I saw some being as young as fifteen), which isn’t to say that teens can’t ask smart questions because they definitely can just like adults can ask stupid ones as well, but somewhere something, in my opinion, just went weirdly. And maybe that was the point of it all, for the event to be casual, funny, lighthearted, but my question then is when is the time for music discussions? For fans to ask those types of questions that actually have something to do with the boys careers? When even journalists aren’t asking them proper questions, ARMYs aren’t either, so what is the point of it all then?
Then again, after the event concluded and Seokjin came onto vlive he seemed so happy and excited, so maybe they had fun (I mean they seemed to have fun) and didn’t mind at all that the questions were lighthearted and silly, maybe I’m the one making mountains out of molehills. I don’t know, but anon wanted to know my thoughts/opinions, and this is them. Once again, I don’t mean to be mean toward the ARMYs that got rightfully in, that won, and I don’t want to insult them for the questions they asked, perhaps I just expected/hoped for something a little different? And perhaps I’m the only one. I don’t know.
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Hello ~ Rafe Cameron
This is Part 2 to Goodbye cause I had the thought in my head and I didn't want to write it only for it to sit in my docs so you can read Goodbye (aka Part 1) here.
Blurb: A lot can change in five years.
Word Count: 3,677
Warnings: swearing, mentions of drinking, smoking, cocaine, spelling/grammar mistakes, i think that's it.
Small note: I’m 19 and have never planned a wedding. I’ve been to my fair share of weddings as guests and my only experience with a wedding would have been when my sister got married, however, her in-laws are kind of assholes so her wedding was really lowkey and shit, like it took place in my sister backyard lowkey, cause her mother-in-law was like 'Im not paying for anything cause you guys wont last but I'll pay for your sisters weddings' so like I’m winging half of this shit if not most of it. I’m sorry.
~~~~~
It was 5 years later.
You were 21, along with the rest of the pogues, and able to legally drink and purchase alcohol. So no more hassle with a fake ID.
Nothing had changed except for college and jobs. You and JJ had broken up after two years of dating and, much to everyone's surprise, it was like nothing had ever happened between you two.
It was insanely easy to slip back into the friend zone with JJ, despite both of you thinking that it would be awkward. Both of you fell back into old habits fairly quickly. Sure there were the first couple of weeks where you two felt as if you had to force normality but after that, it was like nothing happened. Sure, JJ still called you princess and you still found yourself hiding into his side during scary movies, but those were habits you two had prior to dating, and old habits die hard.
The only other difference was that John B and Sarah were getting married.
They were planning on getting married at The Lodge at Bear River in fall which meant a ferry to the mainland and then an almost 8-hour road trip to the venue.
You, Kie, and Wheezie were bridesmaids, Kie being maid of honor, and Pope, JJ, and much to John B's displeasure, Rafe were groomsmen, JJ being best man.
You and Pope were walking together which left Rafe and his half-sister to walk together.
Rafe looked at his sister and John B, trying to stay as unphased as possible. "Y/N's gonna be a part of the wedding party?" He asked, taking a drag from his cigarette from his spot by the pool.
John B and Sarah were outside at the patio table with their wedding planner, going over guests and the wedding party. The three looked over at Rafe and Sarah nodded.
"Why wouldn't she?"
"No reason. If you need someone to walk with her, I'll do it." He told her as nonchalantly as possible.
"She's walking with Pope." John B responded. Rafe made a face as he brought the cigarette back up to his lips and John B narrowed his eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry. Is there a problem?" Sarcasm dripping from his voice.
"No. No problem. It's your wedding."
John B rolled his eyes before turning back to the wedding planner.
Rafe stood up and walked inside, flipping John B the bird as he walked by. He felt as if John B was put on this earth just to make him miserable at this point.
Rafe walked over to the bar and fixed himself a drink, Wheezie rolling her eyes from her spot on the couch in between Rose and Ward, who were currently scrolling through formal wear for the wedding.
"Dad, Rafe's day drinking... again." The now eighteen-year-old piped up.
Rafe glared at her. "Just wait Wheezie. This will be you in a few years." He told his half-sister with a smirk.
Wheezie scrunched up her face in disgust at the sight of her brother holding his cigarette in one hand and drink in the other.
Rose, a glass of wine in her hand, rolled her eyes at her stepson as Ward, a gin and tonic in his hand, just sighed. "It's five o'clock somewhere, Wheezie."
Rafe clinked his glass against his father’s as he made his way upstairs to his old room that he was temporarily staying in since his apartment building had taken some damage during the latest hurricane and was currently getting the necessary repairs done, and closed the door behind him. He sat down at his old desk chair and looked at the corkboard above the desk where a couple of polaroid pictures of you hung. The pictures were the first thing Rafe went looking for when he had gotten back to his apartment, letting out a sigh of relief when he saw the little lockbox he had stored the polaroids still in the closet and completely unscathed. Rafe downed his drink as he swiveled his chair back and forth.
Of course, John B wouldn't pair you and him up. That would be helping a brother out. Rafe did everything he could to show that he changed once he heard you and JJ broke up.
He quit cocaine and took up cigarettes instead. He went back to college and got a business degree. He was currently working and getting along with his father. He had his life together, mostly, and on track. The only thing missing from his life was you.
He had barely spent more than 5 minutes in a room with you since the breakup because you were either by JJ or you retreated as far from him as possible. He'd casually bring you up in conversation with John B and your friend would just roll his eyes.
"We don't bring you up in conversations, Rafe." John B told him one day.
That cut the blue-eyed man deep.
Especially since this was after Rafe gave John B the money he needed to buy Sarah an engagement ring.
Some wingman John B was.
Rafe stood up with a sigh and walked downstairs, deciding to bring the entire bottle of whiskey upstairs since he could already tell it was going to be one of those nights. He halted by the patio door though when he heard his sister and John B start talking.
“Would it be that bad to pair Rafe and Y/N up for the wedding? I highly doubt Wheezie wants to walk with him. At least Y/N won’t whine about it.” She asked as she placed a hand on his arm, the wedding planner nowhere in sight.
Rafe leaned against the wall, biting his lip as he waited for John B’s answer. If Rafe was being honest, he was kind of surprised that his sister would even consider asking John B that since she could care less about what Rafe wanted.
“Sarah, I love you but you did not see her that day or the day after or the following month and a half after that. Do you know how hard it was seeing Y/N like that? Heartbroken. Not wanting to get out of bed. Thinking she did the wrong thing and that caused him to go over the edge. Do you know how many times JJ, Pope, Kie and I caught her reading the obituaries to make sure Rafe’s name wasn’t in there?” John B looked at his fiancée. “I’m not pairing them up together without her permission. That’s that.”
“Then ask her.”
"What?"
"Ask Y/N if she wants to walk with Rafe?" Sarah saw the 'are you kidding' look in John B's eyes. "I'm serious John B. Rafe's changed a lot and, despite what you think, you cannot keep her from talking or seeing my brother all your life."
"I can try." The curly-haired boy stated, crossing his arms.
"You know what, JB? You are acting like a damn child. It is not going to break Y/N/N if you ask her one small question that contains the name Rafe, okay? I'm sure she can hear his name and not break down or something. It's been long enough. Let him have that 5 minutes he needs to talk to her cause, yeah I do not doubt that Y/N took their breakup hard, but what about Rafe? Hmm? Believe it or not John B, but my brother has fucking feelings too, okay. He probably took that break up just as hard and Wheezie and I witnessed it. So stop acting like even whispering Rafe's name will break her and just fucking ask her if she wants to walk with Rafe or Pope."
"Fine. If it makes you and Rafe happy, I'll ask her." John B huffed.
Rafe didn't stay to hear the rest, just turned around and walked back to his room, the whiskey bottle long forgotten.
****
Fall had come quickly and the wedding date came even faster. It was like Rafe blinked and then he was on the ferry two days before the wedding, sitting next to you, very awkwardly might I add, his leg bouncing up and down as he played with his fingers. It was like he didn't know what to do with his hands. After all these years, the most natural thing to do with one of his hands was still to place it on your thigh and the amount of willpower it took to not do that exact thing was unbelievable.
Rafe had told his dad that he was going to rent his own car because eight hours in a car with his family was a hard no for him.
So there he was, walking over to the car he rented and opening the door before stopping and watching you get in a car with Pope, Kie, and JJ.
You glanced up just before you got in, making eye contact with him. You gave him a small smile to make it a little less awkward and Rafe returned the smile before hopping into the car. He watched you guys pull away and pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh before putting the key into the ignition and starting the car.
This was going to be the longest three days of his life.
***
He was happy for the long-ass drive of day one considering once everyone got to the hotel, there was a silent, collective decision to all just turn in for the night.
Day two was a little less chill. After being awoken by a panicked banging on the door of his hotel room, Rafe got out of bed as quickly as he could and opened the door, only to be greeted by Sarah who roughly pushed past him into his room.
“Yeah. Come on in. Good morning to you too.” He deadpanned before shutting the door.
“What the hell am I doing, Rafe?” She asked out of the blue, causing a look of confusion to settle on his face.
“I don’t know. You tell me.” He stated.
He watched as Sarah sat on his bed and ran her hands through her hair, letting out a breath. “Is this too soon? Am I getting married too young? Like, I’m 21, Rafe. I should be out getting blackout drunk and having hookups and having regrets but instead, I’m doing the exact opposite.” She rambled.
“Okay. I see what’s happening now.” Rafe walked over and sat down next to Sarah. “Sarah, trust me when I say that marrying John B will not hurt any of that. I guarantee that you and John B will get blackout drunk together and call someone for a ride. I guarantee you will be having hookups, it’s just that all of them will be with John B. And you will have regrets. What those regrets are, I have no fucking clue but life is full of them. Trust me, I have a lot of regrets and I’m only 24.” Rafe told her. “But, I don’t think marrying John B is going to be one of your regrets. Canceling this wedding would be. After all, the venue does say no refunds.”
Sarah snorted slightly and Rafe bumped his shoulder against hers. “Believe me, Sarah, if anyone is ready to get married at this age, it’s you. You came down with a damn binder filled to the brim when you were like seven and placed it in front of me and dad on the coffee table and told dad to start making connections with everyone in that binder, right down to the dress designer.”
Sarah smiled before turning and wrapping her arms around Rafe. “Who would’ve thought you could give a pep talk. And liked John B.” She said.
Rafe slowly wrapped his arms around his younger sister. “Apparently you because you came to me. However, this does not mean I like John B. I am not going to start canceling shit just to have some one-on-one time with that curly-haired surfer dude. Okay? I simply tolerate him because he somehow makes you happy.”
After breakfast and lunch that he spent with Wheezie, last-minute plans when he walked to your room to ask you to lunch only to knock and have you answer the door which caused him to quickly abandon that plan and say “Whoops sorry. Room 202 for Wheeze,”, the rehearsal dinner came quickly.
In all honesty, Rafe wasn't really paying attention to the dinner at all. How could he when you were right there, quite literally within his reach, laughing and smiling?
The actual wedding day itself was stressful leading up to the ceremony but after everyone got where they needed to be, it was smooth sailing. Rafe and Wheezie walked out after Kie and JJ.
Rafe watched you walk down with Pope and couldn't help the pang of jealousy he felt in his chest. He also couldn't help but imagine himself as the groom and you in a white dress, walking down the aisle towards him.
He quickly shook the thought from his head though, watching you take your place next to Wheezie before turning your attention towards the door to watch his dad and sister walkout.
You glanced over at Rafe and smiled slightly when you saw him bring a hand up to his cheek, wiping away a tear. You turned your attention to John B before Rafe could look over and catch you staring.
You saw John B wipe his hands on his trousers as subtly as he could. You caught JJ's eyes and he shook his head, mouthing 'fucking whipped' to you.
You nodded and moved your eyes between Sarah and John B before settling them back on JJ. 'Obviously' you mouthed back before the pair of you stopped before someone caught you.
In all honesty, Sarah did and she saw Rafe catch the interaction as well, noticing him swallow hard.
The ceremony went smoothly with no objections -Rafe fought back the urge to object just to mess with everyone but he knew his entire family wouldn't appreciate the humor- and after pictures, everyone moved inside for the reception as the sun began to set.
Dinner and drinks were served, toasts were made -JJ had made sure to include a few of John B's stupid and most embarrassing moments, much to Rafe's pleasure-, and then the dancing began.
Sarah and Ward had their father/daughter dance and then John B and Sarah had their first dance before everyone else was encouraged to join them on the dance floor.
Wheezie walked over to Rafe and Rafe looked at her. "I am not nearly drunk enough to get out on that floor and dance with you Wheezie."
Wheezie just rolled her eyes. "You have a shot right now to go ask Y/N to dance and no one will even notice you. Take it." Rafe ignored her. "Oh, okay. So you can sit there and stare but you don't have the balls to walk up to her and say 'wanna dance'?"
Rafe glared at his half-sister. "Watch your mouth, Wheezie."
Wheezie took one last glance at the dance floor and shrugged. "That's fine. Looks like someone else did."
Rafe had never scanned a crowd faster than he did right there and sure enough, there you were, a cousin of his with his hands on your waist and yours on his shoulders, moving slowly around the dance floor.
"I'm going out for a smoke," Rafe muttered before getting up and making his way out of the building.
He stood outside and brought out his pack of cigarettes, along with his lighter, and opened up the little carton. He withdrew a cigarette before closing the pack and shoving it back into his pocket, placing the cigarette between his lips. He heard the song from inside end before another one started back up as he flicked the spark wheel a couple of times, his thumb landing on the fork before a flame appeared.
He cupped his hand in front of the flame and brought the flame to the cigarette that rested between his lips, making a mental note to buy a new lighter since his was running out of juice.
Rafe heard the door open and close as he shoved the lighter back into his pocket and inhaled. He blew out the smoke before looking over to see who had joined him and was a little surprised to see you.
Of course, Rafe knew at some point you'd duck out of the party for some fresh air considering in social situations where they were tons of people, you needed to get away for a bit and recharge your social battery. He just didn't expect you to do that so soon.
You both stared out in front of you, not saying anything and Rafe brought the cigarette to his lips again, taking another drag.
"It's beautiful out here." You breathed out, trying to start some conversation.
Rafe nodded as he exhaled. "Yeah, it is."
"I wouldn't mind getting married here." You added absent-mindedly.
If Rafe had a drink right now, he would've choked at your words. He nodded nonetheless. "Yeah. It's a pretty nice place to get married."
You looked over at Rafe. "You gonna be okay over there, big guy?"
Rafe turned his head to look at you, confusion written all over his face. "What are you talking about?"
"I saw you wipe a tear away, bub." Rafe's heart sped up at the nickname that you used to use on him. "When Sarah was walking down the aisle. You gonna be okay or should the same reaction be expected at Wheezie's wedding too?" You smiled as Rafe groaned, tilting his head to look at the almost pitch-black sky.
"Don't even mention Wheezie getting married. To me, she's still that annoying thirteen-year-old that was always eavesdropping and snooping through shit."
"Awe, Rafe. You got a soft spot for your sisters now. That’s so sweet." You cooed, knowing that when he was 19, the only thing he did was complain about the two Cameron girls. "Seriously though, I think it's sweet that you walked with Wheezie and that you shed a tear today." You told him.
Rafe couldn't stop the words that tumbled out of his mouth. "I wanted to walk with you but you told John B you'd rather walk with Pope."
Way to go, dumbass, he thought to himself.
"What are you talking about?" It was your turn to look confused.
Rafe sighed, taking another drag from his cigarette and letting the smoke pour past his lips as he spoke. "I offered to walk with you and John B said no. I overheard him and Sarah talking a bit later and Sarah told him that it wouldn't hurt to ask if you wanted to walk with me or not. And I think you know the rest."
He might as well fess up about it since his mouth and brain already decided to rat him out anyway.
You shook your head. "I don't know the rest because John B never asked me who I wanted to walk with nor did he ask if I wanted to walk with you."
Rafe looked over at you, his eyes locked on yours. He knew when you were lying and this was not one of those times.
He chuckled before shaking his head. "God. He's such a dick."
You ignored his comment about one of your best friends and walked closer to him. "You seriously wanted to walk with me?"
Rafe nodded, looking down at the ground. He was in way over his head, admitting that after half a decade he was still thinking about you and wanting to be with you. Even if it was for like a 20-second walk down an aisle.
You felt a blush grow on your cheeks as you looked down at your hands, playing with your fingers.
A beat passed before you spoke, keeping your head down. "If it makes you feel better… I would've said yes."
Rafe looked at you. "Yeah?"
You nodded and he took another drag from his cigarette.
"Can we start over?" He asked.
"What?" Your Y/E/C eyes lifted from the ground to meet his blue ones.
"Can we start over?"
You bit your lip. "Yeah. Sure."
Rafe cleared his throat before placing a small smile on his face and giving a little bow. "Hello. I'm Rafe."
You breathed out a laugh before giving Rafe a slight curtsy. "Hello, Rafe. I'm Y/N. It's a pleasure to meet you."
Rafe shook his head. "Oh no. The pleasure is all mine."
Your heads both turned to the building when the song changed once again to a slower song and Rafe took Wheezie's advice on seizing an opportunity.
"You still like this song?" You nodded once more and Rafe put out his cigarette before extending his hand to you. "Would you like to dance?"
You smiled and took his hand. "Of course."
He placed his hands on your waist and yours looped around his neck, him starting to sway you two slightly.
"You look amazing by the way." Rafe complimented, taking in the lavender color of your bridesmaid dress.
"Thank you. You look rather dashing yourself." You took your hands from his neck and straightened his tie before returning them to where they previously were.
You moved closer to Rafe, resting your head on his chest as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
"Rafe?" You mumbled towards the end of the song.
"Mhm?"
"I missed you." You admitted.
Rafe smiled before placing a kiss at the top of your head. "I missed you too, Y/N/N."
"Rafe?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you maybe wanna ride back to the ferry together? 8 hours is a long trip. Especially when you're alone and I have to deal with JJ, Pope, and Kie."
You heard Rafe’s heart speed up a bit before it calmed back down as he took a deep breath.
"I would love that."
~~~~~~~
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r/Relationship_Advice
this is my gift to @omgpurplefattie for the Eat Rocks,Troll! Xiyao exchange! The ao3 link will be in the first reblog, and a transcript can be found under the readmore!
r/Relationship_Advice
Trying to Make Sworn Brotherhood Work - posted by u/throwRAthirdbrother
This is an unusual situation, but I really want to make this work.
Me (20M), my close friend Blue (20M), and his friend & my former boss Green (22M) swore ourselves to each other in a sacred ceremony to bring our families closer together. I went into this hoping that it would bring the three of us closer together too -- Green and I had a bit of a spat about two years ago, and he still harbors resentment from the incident.
Green still sometimes treats me like I'm his employee, while also expecting me to be able to reverse my father's decisions. My relationship with my father is complex and I won't get into it, but suffice to say Green should know I have no influence over what he or his company does. Regardless, it's best to appease him. Green has a disorder that makes emotional regulation difficult; even with his medication, he is prone to fits of rage or paranoia, which often cast me as the "bad guy." I know that based on just this information, many of you will tell me to dump him; that is not an option I want to pursue at the moment. I want to explore every option to overcome our problems, not dispose of them.
This situation is putting pressure on my relationship with Blue as well -- he's a wonderful, kind, generous man who I admire greatly, and I don't wish for all our time together to be spent talking about Green. Currently, he is teaching me the qin, and how to play the song Green's psychiatrist has recommended playing to help calm him; it is going well, and I wish to continue these lessons once I have learned the song. However -- we're both very busy, and have limited time together. I'm afraid that when all our interactions revolve around Green, I am not as able to savor it as much as I would like.
I seek advice about how to better manage Green, so that his fits do not escalate, and to repair our relationship. I truly do want to come to a better place with him, where we can interact on a more even footing; in the meantime, I need to remain safe. If anyone has been in a similar situation, I welcome your guidance especially.
Thank you very much in advance.
Replies:
u/AnOriginalCharacter: okay question: are you married to them? it sounds like you're married to them. anyway. you should probably divorce green.
u/TheManWithTheFan: SAN-GE! dont worry i wont tell da-ge ;) but hes being a big jerk about the whole xue yang thing & probably give him a day or two to calm down before you come back to our house? anyway. hed be a lot calmer if you just kissed him i think. ill give him some books to explain his Big Emotions (in his heart, and other places). and dont worry about er-ge! hes definitely going to keep giving you.... "private lessons" wink wink
u/throwRAthirdbrother: Don't you dare.
u/TheManWithTheFan: ;) ;) ;)
u/throwRAthirdbrother: You already gave him the books, didn't you.
u/JiangYanli: This is certainly a complicated situation! DH's brother is going through something similar. I think a good first step would be to sit down with Green and have a conversation about the incident from two years ago -- and crucially, to apologize for whatever parts of it caused the most hurt. I know that is the hardest part, but it also needs to happen in order for your relationship to begin to heal. I also hope that you know that your friends and family are there to support you -- don't hesitate to reach out to them! I would be honored if my BIL trusted me enough to ask for my help, and I am sure there are people in your life for whom this is true as well. Best wishes, Yanli.
u/throwRAthirdbrother: Thank you for your advice. I am sure your brother-in-law appreciates your kindness. ^_^
u/Xiyao_troll: YTA for letting a toxic relationship go on for so long. You should break up with both of them before everything inevitably collapses, move away, and never talk to either of them again so that they can both move on. Maybe marry a nice girl who isn't your half sister.
u/yiling-laozu: wrong sub, fuck off
u/AnOriginalCharacter: woah dude harsh??? just because him and green don't get along doesn't mean he needs to burn everything to the ground smdh. & what are you talking about with the sister thing? he literally did not mention any girls at all?
u/yiling-laozu: oh shit dude! i'm going through the same thing kind of, like the guy i'm in love with hates my guts, so anyway i solved this issue by moving to the outskirts of a village in the middle of nowhere and not answering my phone for five months. it's kind of miserable to eat nothing but top ramen while we wait for our vegetable harvest but you know what, it's better than seeing him every day knowing he hates me? i don't recommend it but i don't not recommend it ykwim
u/throwRAthirdbrother: Our situations are not the same at all.
#omgpurplefattie#eat rocks troll#xiyao#3zun#the venerated triad#jin guangyao#meng yao#jgy#my writing#cql#the untamed#mo dao zu shi#mdzs
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Kaku, Lucci and Jabra - First Meetings and Kiss
Annyong Haseyo!! This was requested by REDFRLegend (Wattpad)
This is my first time writing for these 3 members. I hope its not too OOC. I made these in Modern Universe.
I hope you like it!
Pairings :
Kaku X Reader
Lucci X Reader
Jabra X Reader
Word Count : 5.8K (I promised you, I will do justice for your request)
Warnings : Not Proof read, so please forgive me for any mistakes.
A/N : I absolutely enjoyed writing for these three. I thought I'd hardly be able to write 500 words but... when I first wrote Kaku I didn't even notice the word count in the beginning. But it reached 1K words and I was shocked. I thought I couldn't beat this count for Lucci and I was definitely sure that I wont be able to write that much for Jabra. But Lucci beat Kaku's word count and it was 1.9K words. I received another shock when Jabra's story word count surpassed these two's. Jabra's was 2.6K words. I was speechless when I noticed that. Now to think of it, I am now in love with these people. I didn't like them because of Robin chan arc. But now... these people stole my heart. Please help me. I can't...
Kaku - 1K
Warnings : None
A/N : The meeting of this was so weird but the rest of the story is not that weird. Please read it.
You were so excited to watch the new movie which you waited so long to watch. By avoiding many posts and people who spoil everything, you went to the theatre and took the ticket. You were alone and thought that you could spend some quality time with yourself. You wanted to check your makeup so, you went to the restroom. As soon as you walked into the washroom, you saw a man with a long nose staring at you. His eyes were open wide as well as his mouth and his cheeks were flushed pink after seeing you.
'What the!?', you thought as you took a few steps back and then another man came into the restroom. You saw him and then again you looked at the long nose man. Then your legs worked their magic and you ran away. You ran towards the girls restroom which was on the floor above without even caring who was looking at you. You were completely embarrassed to walk into the men's restroom like that.
You looked into the mirror and noticed that your cheeks were also red from the embarrassment. You placed your hands on your face and whined. 'It's okay. Just forget this and watch the movie', you thought and you looked at the mirror again.
After heading to the movie hall with your tickets and popcorn, you sat in your seat and tried to concentrate on the movie. You watched the movie as you ate your popcorn. The movie didn't even finish 30 minutes at least and you noticed how terrible it was. Completely different from the plot you imagined after watching the trailer. Everything about the movie was so bad. Your frown didn't fade away as the scenes kept going.
"Do you hate it too?", whispered the person beside you.
"Omg, its... its totally different from what I expected. I really don't like it", you whispered as you still kept looking at the screen and kept eating popcorn.
"I really had high expectations about this movie. I never thought the plot would go like this", you said and then looked to your side. Then you saw the same long nose person, who you saw in the men's restroom. You blushed and hung your head low as you looked at him. He noticed that you were still upset about it and said, "Its okay. Everyone makes mistakes like that once in a while", he said and you slowly looked at him. He cheeks turned red as you looked at him. He averted his gaze to the movie and said, "Its their fault for not constructing extra washrooms", you chuckled as you heard that. He gave you a side glance and smiled. After more 10 minutes of discussing how the movie was getting annoying you sighed in defeat. "All my money is wasted on this, and now even my time"
He gave you a side glance and asked, "So... if you also feel like that... wanna go and grab a bite?"
Your heart skipped a beat. You didn't expect this but... you really wanted to go. A faint blush was visible on his cheeks as you nodded yes. The two of you went and sat at the restaurant and talked about movies and music. It seemed like your tastes matched and you were really happy to have a new friend.
"I'm Kaku by the way. We kept talking and didn't introduce ourselves", he chuckled and you realised that he was right.
"OMG! I didn't realise that. I'm Y/N" you replied. As you both finished your food, you decided exchanged numbers before you left.
Every day you two kept talking about stuff you both liked and slowly, the conversations turned to daily routines and then meme war at each other. You didn't knew how time passed while you both talked. You both decided to meet again for another movie and this movie was good than the previous one. For some reason you didn't feel awkward with him at all. After the movie you both strolled in the park. You felt so happy beside him. With him the conversation was never dead.
After a few more movie meetings, you were talking to him on the phone as usual.
"So, yeah... I heard there was a new pet café opened and people are loving it. Wanna go on a... date with me?", he asked as your cheeks turned red. You said yes and then you both discussed on the time and place of your meeting. Your heart was beating faster and you couldn't stop this excitement for meeting him. Actually you were even happier for every time you met him. 'This time... it's different. It's a date', you thought as you placed your hands on your cheeks.
The day of your date, you wore the new clothes and applied some makeup then went to the café. He stood from his place as he saw you enter the café. You approached him and he still was still standing without moving an inch. You smiled at him and shook his shoulder. He then blinked and chuckled nervously. Your date was really cute with him blushing as you both played with the animals. After you decided to leave, he took you home as it was dark. He blushed as he linked his hand with yours and with the free hand he gently tugged a strand of hair behind your ear.
He looked into your eyes for permission. You just smiled back at him and nodded. He leaned down as you slowly closed your eyes. Your lips touched with his and you felt so happy at that moment. His hand slowly caressed your cheeks and the other trailed to your waist to pull you even closer. Your hands tugged the back of his shirt as you just tilted your face to deepen the kiss. You both parted for air and looked into each other's eyes. It felt right with him. You were truly happy to be with him and he was feeling the same. You two were falling in love.
XOXOXOXO
Lucci – 1.9K
Warnings : Mention of alcohol but mostly fluff
A/N : I really loved this story too. Yeah, its a bit awkward but trust me, you will get past it.
The week was completely trash. Not one good thing happened and as if your problems were not enough, your boss dumped so much more work on you and your weekend almost went to waste. As you were so determined to complete your work, you had some free time and went to the new bar. The bar looked so beautiful and neat. People were drinking and singing. You ordered a drink for yourself and were trying to forget the shit week you had.
‘I need to buy new shoes/heels. These are about to get ruined’, you thought as you sipped your drink looking at your shoes/heels. Then suddenly you saw your asshole ex enter into the bar with another person. ‘That Dick, he is already with someone new’, you thought. You really wanted to leave but you didn’t want to seem single if your ex sees you. Your gaze landed on the person beside you, who was minding his own business. He had interesting beard. He was actually cute. You saw that he paid for his drinks and got up.
You stood before him as you blocked his way. He looked confused at your actions. You gulped. He was pretty tall, had sharp eyes and was having a serious expression. You asked him, “Are you leaving?” to which he just gave you a weird look and nodded.
“Good! Let’s go together, please”, you said as you held his hand. If weird and confused could be one expression, he had that. As he was about to protest, you stopped him and said, “Please. Don’t ask anything. I’ll answer your questions. But please come with me”.
He stayed quiet for a couple of seconds to think and then sighed, giving his permission. You linked your arm with his and smiled happily as you made your way out of the bar and YES! Your ex saw you with a guy way too handsome than him. Your ego boost increased X100 with that expression on your ex’s face. You laughed as you walked. Suddenly you felt a tug on your arm and you then noticed that you were dragging that stranger for a while now. You face turned red because of embarrassment. You let go of him and said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t notice that I was dragging you along with me. I just wanted to get out of there because of my ex. And I got to leave with a handsome guy like you. You should’ve seen his face”, you said and laughed again thinking about that jerk ex. “So, thank you”, you ended as you looked at him.
He just nodded and left. ‘Huh… it… looked like he didn’t even care’, well to be honest you would’ve been happy if he was interested. ‘Well, its fine. My ex saw me with that handsome guy. It’s all I need’, you hummed to yourself and went to your house.
The next week, you had a new contract from a client and you had to visit the client at his office and talk about the project with your boss.
“So, Rob Lucci is our client and I hope you know that atleast… we should meet him now”, said your boss looking at you. You nodded quickly and followed him behind. Mr. Jabra was a strict man but, he was a good person.
Mr. Jabra led you into Mr. Lucci’s office and you both were waiting for him to come and meet you. Apparently that person Lucci was a very busy man and could only afford this day to talk about the project. As the door swung opened you and Mr. Jabra stood up. Your eyes widened as you looked at him. He was the same person who you met at the bar a few nights prior. He and Mr. Jabra shook hands and then you two sat in your chairs. He sat in front of you two and talked about the project. He seemed like, he didn’t even remember you. So you let that thought go away and started to listen to him. This was the first time you heard him speak. He had a deep voice and was really good. He was very particular and you noted them down just for future references. After the meeting you both thanked him and you followed your boss but as you were about to exit his cabin you fell on your face.
Your boss gasped and asked, “Y/N! are you okay?” with worry. Then you felt an arm on your shoulder. You looked at the owner of the arms, and it was Mr. Lucci. He was beside you. Your face turned red as you saw his handsome features so close. He helped you up and you thanked him. You then noticed that one of your shoe/heel was actually ruined. The client and also the boss noticed that.
“It’s ruined. Wait here. I’ll send my secretary”, Mr Lucci said. You looked at Mr. Jabra and he nodded. Then Mr. Lucci and Mr. Jabra went ahead. You didn’t know why he told you to wait there but you obliged. Then a beautiful lady came where you were waiting. She was wearing delicate specs and had silky blond hair. She had brown paper bag with her.
“Hello! You must be Y/N. I’m Kalifa. Mr. Lucci told me you were here”, she introduced herself and you nodded.
“So, if you don’t mind we only have these here. But, I’m sure you can wear them for temporarily”, she said as she handed me the brown paper bag she held. You looked inside and saw a new pair of shoes.
“Thank you so much!!”, you bowed to her and she left. You took the shoes out and wore them. Coincidentally, when you wore them, they were a perfect fit for you. ‘And then the prince and Cinderella stayed happily ever after’, the sentence suddenly popped into your brain and you chuckled. Then you noticed if someone was watching you. Luckily no one saw you laughing to yourself. You placed your ruined pair into the bag and headed towards the exit. There you saw your boss waiting for you. You quickly dumped your shoes bag in the trash can and headed towards Mr. Jabra.
He smiled widely as he looked at you. “Y/N!! You are here! Lets go”, he said and went towards his car as you followed him. Apparently, the the contract with the company was also made for another project if this was going to be successful. You also were happy that the company was getting more contracts.
As you and your team made the project, you and Mr. Lucci had to meet a few more times. His seriousness was really captivating to you. The passion towards work, really inspired you too. Slowly you found yourself reading about his company and his articles. You really started to like the man and your respect also grew.
After the project completion, luckily everyone liked it and it was a huge success. So, the client company held a party and invited your company too. You all were very happy for your work to be successful. The party was held on the terrace of the building. But there were security to take care of people, if they get too drunk.
You got yourself a second drink and leaned on the wall. Then you saw that Mr. Lucci was leaving the place. You followed him and now you saw that he was heading towards the elevator.
“Hey! Please wait!”, you said and sure he waited for you to come. “Thankyou”, you said as you also got in. He pressed the button for the ground floor.
“Sir, you can at least enjoy in these times. It’s ok to be carefree once in a while”, you said as he turned to look at you. You sipped your drink and continued, “Everyone is really happy and really admire you. If you join them they would be even more happy”, you said and he averted his gaze from you. If you weren’t drunk, you would’ve noticed his cheeks dusted pink.
“Yeah, but… not everyone likes me. Some people find me gloomy. So, I don’t want to let their sprits down”, for once, he talked about himself and not about work.
“NO WAY! Heck, even I too like you. You are so passionate and inspiring”, you being drunk said it casually but he stared at you with his eyes wide open and cheeks completely red. “You sure are serious about your work but you aren’t gloomy. You are really kind. I heard that you even take care and donate for the wildlife sanctuary. I really appreciate and admire that”, you smiled at him and exited the lift. He followed your steps and said, “How… are you going to go? You can’t drive in the state you are in”, he said as he looked at you.
“You looked back at him and replied, “I’ll call a cab”
‘Ofcourse, you’ll call a cab. Why did I even ask the most stupid question’, thought Lucci.
“I think you forgot but, we both met in a bar. I stopped you from leaving and tagged along with you”, you said.
“I remember”, he said making you stop in your tracks. You turned and looked at him. He came closer and stood before you.
“I never forgot you, or that time”, he said as you gulped.
“I thought you weren’t interested in me”, you said as you chuckled.
“I… wasn’t.”
“Ouch! That hurt”, you said as you placed your hands on your heart. He chuckled at your actions and it was the very first time you ever saw him laugh.
“Let me rephrase it, I wasn’t interested at that weird stranger who dragged me to an unknown location”, you were embarrassed at what he said. ‘Of course who would be interested in a person who did that’ your head hung low. But he continued, “But… I remembered the drunk person, who called me handsome. That clumsy person who fell down, the hardworking one, who made the project successful”, he said and he came closer and whispered, “I’m interested to know more about that person”, your face turned red at what he said. Now he was the one who walked first and you followed him. He stopped at his car and said, “Let me drop you”
You obliged and sat in the fancy car. He suddenly leaned closer to you and you closed your eyes. Then you heard a click. You opened what was that sound and saw that he placed your seatbelt. You got embarrassed and he chuckled.
After sometime you reached your house and again he leaned in closer to you. He removed the seatbelt but he stayed still looking into your eyes. You leaned towards him and captured his lips with yours. You placed your hands his raven hair and he placed one of his hand on the back of your neck and the other on your cheek. Your make out session with him lasted for a while then you smiled at him and looked at your lap. He smiled and pecked your cheek. You got out of the car and waved bye to him. He did the same but then he told you to come closer. As you were close to the window of his car, he again pulled you close and kissed you. After that he smiled and left the place. You went to your room and changed your clothes. You plopped on the bed and thought about the kiss you two had. It was so intense and passionate. Little did you know, a new beautiful story really was awaiting for you.
XOXOXOXOXO
Jabra – 2.6K
Warnings : Angst, hurt, comfort, TW! sexual harassment
A/n: The story for writing him came to me and I was so in love. I hope you enjoy it.
You get ready as usual and get on the train to go for work. It was an everyday routine for you. You tended to go early to avoid rush hours. Anyhow, you couldn’t avoid the evening traffic and people, so you at least tried to be early. This was peaceful and quite with just you and a few other people on the train. You had your book in your hand to pass the time while you went to your stop. You then saw a new face get on the train. He was a tall man with different kind of beard.
He sat opposite of you and put on his headphones. He was quiet for a while but suddenly, he started to sing out the song he was listening to. You looked at him and saw that he was really immersed in the song and didn’t realise that he was singing out loudly.
You smiled to yourself at his actions. He wasn’t singing amazingly but, he was singing with his heart and you really admired that. He wasn’t horrible too. Just in between. After one song, he started to sing another song. You stopped reading and listened to him sing. You soon reached your stop and got down. He was still humming and singing. You went to work and started to work, but as you worked, the songs he sang were playing in your head. You shrugged it off and started to work, but the songs still played in your head.
The next day, you saw the same man enter the train. After a few minutes, he started to sing again. You listened to his songs till you reached your stop.
This became a routine to you every day and you never once, didn’t fail to stop listening to his songs. Eventually you started to like his singing and his voice. You didn’t finish that page of your book ever since he started to sing. You once noticed that he was singing the song that you liked too. You jammed to that song inside your head.
One day as he was giving you his free concert, another man got on the train and sat beside you. The new person, told the man before you to stop sing. That man got embarrassed and apologised. He didn’t even hum the entire ride. You came back to your book and noticed that you forgot what the story was so, you had to come back a few pages and read it again. To be honest, you felt bad for the singer. The entire ride was really quiet and… dull. You got down at your stop and looked at the man one last time and headed to your office.
The next day also the singer stayed silent and the new man sat beside you. You didn’t even hear the man hum. He was silent that day too… and the day after… and after… he stopped singing.
One day, you were on the same place as usual and the singing man sat opposite of you. The stranger sat beside you like always. You really didn’t mind but… then you felt his shoulder touching you. You noticed that he was sitting closer to you than before. You carefully moved a bit till your shoulders weren’t touching. But after a few minutes, your shoulders brushed again. You didn’t like how a person was touching you. You moved again and after few minutes you noticed the person touching you again! You gulped and you followed your instincts.
You sat beside the man opposite to you and he noticed you now. He didn’t mind you sitting there until he noticed that the other man also made his way towards you and sat real close to you. Now, you don’t have place to move. You frowned at how that jerk kept doing that. You were about to say something but then you saw that the singing man, stood abruptly and glared at the other man.
“Don’t you have shame? She doesn’t like it. Stop it or else do you want me to break your hand?”, that man clicked his tongue and left the train as soon as the doors opened. You smiled at the singer and said, “Thankyou so much”. To which he just smiled and took his spot.
Things were silent and then he said you, “I… I am sorry, I didn’t notice it first”.
“No, its not your fault”, you replied as you smiled at him. You continued, “I really don’t like the rush hours because of people like this. But I guess, for them, the time really doesn’t affect”.
“I’m sorry to hear that”, he said and you indicated no.
“You aren’t the one who did that. Don’t apologise”, you said as you got up and continued “Its my stop. I’ll go. bye”
He watched your form leave. Just like every day. You didn’t knew. But he also noticed you. But only when you left.
The next day, you sat in your spot and waited. The singer came and sat opposite to you. He smiled at you and you returned the same.
“You know”, you said and he looked at you as he listened carefully. “You sing well. Don’t let that person’s words get to you”
He gasped and his eyes opened wide. His cheeks turned red.
“So, you didn’t knew you were singing out this whole time? You sang from the first day you started to take this train”, you chuckled as you said that.
“Oh noo… I really didn’t knew I was singing every day. I’m sorry I did that. I must have disturbed you”, you whined as he held his head by his hands and placed his elbows on his knees.
“But… I did enjoy the free concert”, you said as he blushed even more.
"Oh god.... it so weird", he said looking at you.
"Why? How is it weird. Many people tend to sing like that", you closed your book and placed your elbows on your knees as you looked at him.
He covered his face and replied, "No... not that...", he sighed and replied, "you saying you liked my singing... its weird. Everyone says I suck at it. But... this is different"
"Owh! So rude... you aren't so bad. They just... need to listen to you more", you told him as you leaned back.
"Tha...thankyou. you are so kind", he said as he smiled. You asked about some of the songs that you liked while he sang and he answered everything to you. Then you got down at your stop and went to office.
The talking about music then changed to movies, then books. He wasn't much of a reader but he heard about the stories and stuff from his other friends and was really interested while you were talking about them.
After some days, you both sat beside each other while you both listened to music while you shared headphones.
You recommend him a few songs and he instantly got hooked on all of them. Exchanged phone numbers made you guys even closer and the meetings on the train while you went to jobs were becoming even more special.
One morning as usual you talked but... he seemed a bit restless.
"What happened? Are you okay?", you asked him as he just stayed silent. He looked down at his shoes and avoided to look at you.
"Jabra, if you wont tell me, I can't know. Tell me if something is bothering you", you said as he straightened his back and looked at you.
"I don't feel so good today... I feel like something bad is going to happen and I just... can't get rid of this feeling", he confessed.
"Oh no! Why? Don't worry. Nothing will happen to you. You'll stay safe. I'll pray", you assured him but he shook his head no.
"I'm not... talking about myself.... I'm talking about... you, Y/N", he looked deep into your eyes.
You chuckled and said, "Me? Don't worry. Nothing will happen. I'll be fine", you said assuring him.
He smiled weakly and said, "Yeah... maybe I'm over thinking"
You patted his shoulder and got up. You got out of the train and waved bye to him. But... even if you said you were going to be fine, Jabra just couldn't get the uncertain feeling out of his heart and mind.
That evening, as work piled up, you had to stay late and work a bit more. Jabra messaged you a few times and you replied saying you were fine.
That night at 11 pm you started to go towards the station alone. The streets were a bit too empty and you felt like the traffic would be much better than this. You then got an idea and opened your phone.
'CALL SINGER', Your phone displayed and you hit the green button. He almost immediately picked it up and asked you whether you were okay or not. You giggled and said you were fine.
"So... did you eat?", he asked
"Nope... i actually am leaving the office now-"
"WHAT! NOW! Y/N. I told you the area where you were working isn't safe after dark. Why didn't you listen?", he didn't let you finish and started to worry about you.
"Jabra, listen. My boss gave me work, while I was about to leave. So I had no choice. It's not like I didn't listen to you", you pout as he clicked his tongue.
"Tsk... I really want to talk to that stupid boss of yours. How could he make you stay so late"
"Just let it be... I... just wanted to talk to you", you said as you gulped hearing footsteps... getting closer to you.
"Y/N what happened?", he sensed your distress and asked you.
"I... it might be my imagination but... I thought I could hear... footsteps?", you whispered as you kept walking.
"Y/N... listen to me carefully. Don't turn back. Just keep walking and make use of your senses and don't turn off the phone. Keep it on even if you aren't talking to me", he said.
"I am not able to hear them anymore but... Jabra... I'm scared", you told him the truth.
"Y/N don't be. Don't cry. Put on a brave front. I'm coming", he said as you heard his door closing. He was really coming for you now and this time... you were sure you heard the footsteps again.
You reached the station and noticed that someone was definitely following you. You told jabra and he said to quicken your pace and get on the train. You did as he told you and you heard the footsteps running after you. You ran towards the train and just as you made it in then the doors closed. Then you saw the person who ran after you.
Your eyes widened as you saw his face. He was the same guy who harassed you on the train a few weeks ago. He had a sinister looking grin on his face as he indicated an indecent hand gesture.
Tears slid down your cheeks as you kept eye contact with him and the train moved forward.
"Y/N! Y/N! Y/N! TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED? DID YOU GET ON THE TRAIN? Y/N PLEASE ANSWER! PLEASE", you noticed that you didn't answer Jabra and he was having a panic attack.
"Jabra... I got on the train but I ... I saw him", you said between sobs.
"Who was it?"
"That pervert from the other day. You also saw him. He looked so sinister Jabra... I can't even explain", you cried as you told him.
His didn't know how to feel. Was he supposed to be relieved that you escaped for now or was he supposed to feel sad that you were crying.
He knew one thing for sure... He was hella angry at that asshole for making you so scared and cry.
After travelling alone for a few minutes and crying on the phone, you then saw that Jabra was waiting on a stop for you. You ran out of the train and hugged him tight as he also held you close. He wasn't going to forgive himself for letting you experience that alone. He was mad at himself for not being there for you, when you needed him the most. He held you as if you were going to disappear if he let you go.
Jabra then dropped you at your home on his bike as you still hugged him. The adrenaline was still making your hands shiver even after you reached your house. You let him stay at your place for that night. But you couldn't sleep for a long time. That experience was terrifying. But as he soothingly caressed your hair, you fell asleep.
He didn’t had a small crush on you. It was already love for him. He wanted to take you out on dates and dinner. Wanted to see you smile. Wanted to come to your house and hug you while you slept… But he didn’t wanted that to happen like this. This was heart breaking for him.
The next day, you took the day off and curled in your blanket. Jabra already left, after leaving a note. You were alone in your house. Then you got a message from Jabra, with a link. You opened it and saw that, a killer and rapist was arrested and sent to jail. Tears rolled down your cheek as you saw that.
Then you pressed the call button and in a few rings, Jabra picked up.
“Y/N! I’m sorry, I had to leave but-”
“Thankyou! Thank you so much”, you didn’t let him finish his sentence and thanked him.
“Don’t cry my dear. It’s okay now. He is in jail and… he will never ever hurt you or anyone else again”, he said as you sniffed.
Actually, after you fell asleep, Jabra left the house and searched for that man. After finding him, he beat him up and handed him over to the police.
You called him over to your place and as he reached the door you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and squeezed him tight. He blushed hard at your sudden hug but still he embraced you. You pulled him into the house and closed the door.
You took his hand and said, “I love you”, his eyes widened at your words. “And don’t mistake it for gratitude or something else. I really liked you from a long time. But the way… you”, your tears returned to you as you continued, “Prioritize me and give importance to me is just… truly beautiful”, you got closer to him and added, “I… love you. Will you go out with me?”
“YES! YES! YES I love you too!” he also exclaimed and hugged you tight. Then you pulled back a bit to see his face then placed your hand on the back of his neck.
“Can I?” you asked him as he turned like a tomato and nodded. You brought him closer to you and kissed him gently. He wiped the tears on your cheek with one of his hand and the other stayed between your shoulder blades. You ran your fingers in his hair as the other caressed his back. Your actions sent shivers up and down his spine. You two broke the kiss for air and looked into each other’s eyes. You pressed your foreheads together and smiled as you pecked his cheek. This felt magical. With him, it was always different and beautiful. You thanked your stars for making him meet you.
XOXOXOXO
OMG!! I am so in love with them now. Please help me. I hope you enjoyed these One shots. Like I promised, they aren't just a few lines or scribbles. Comment your favourite among these?
Please support me by giving me a Vote/Like, Comment, Reblog/Share. If you love my stories, please follow me!
Thankyou so much for reading!
#one piece#one piece x reader#one piece x you#one piece x y/n#one piece lucci#lucci x reader#rob lucci#one piece cp9#kaku x reader#one piece kaku#one piece jabra#jabra x reader#one piece fanfiction#x reader#one piece fluff#angst#rob lucci x reader
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Something I realized just now at 3 AM..
We usually headcanoned Zenko and Tareo would be the ones who connected Garou with Badd, the fact that both of the kids knowing them (also Tareo now have met Badd in the manga, maybe again soon at the end of battle?).
But let me tell you about this:
Remember in webcomic, King accidentally found Garou when he was meditated in the middle of woods, right? And in the manga version, King goes with Badd towards the battlefield, right?
What if King becomes the one person who could connect Badd with Garou?? 👀👀✨
King is one of Badd’s coworker who can be trusted on keeping secrets better than any other fellow heroes. Not only that, now he went to the battle location together with Badd and probably must watching over the reckless delinquent hero during combat the whole time until it was ended with the defeat of Garou.
If the headcanon of Badd defending Garou will becomes true (hopefully), King would also be there to witness it, too.
Now imagine when King accidentally encountered the newly redeemed Garou in the middle of forest and Garou noticed him, reassured King that he wont do the whole hero hunting anymore. He just want to talk with King for awhile about two things:
“Is the little brat (Tareo) alright?”
“Is Metal Bat okay?”
Garou asked those things because he knew King was the person who saved Tareo from Monster Assosiation, also the person who came with Badd together and has the responsibility to keep an eye for him.
I was imagining a composed Garou and a frightened King sitting side-by-side near the river, all in a tranquil peaceful forest setting, with Garou calmly asking the questions to King because he was curious and genuinely worried about those two.
Garou regretted the fact he still couldn’t see Tareo again, at least in his current situation, to say thank you for always believing in him and even stood up for him so bravely. He was so proud of the little brat.
On the other hand, Garou was worried about Badd because he rebelled against both his own S-Class coworkers and the higher ups in Hero Association just to defend Garou. Telling them that they went too far and too quick to judge someone from a false assumption. Especially when there’s an innocent honest witness who knows Garou truly, confessing the whole things about the real truth of the Hero Hunter.
Then Badd allowed Garou to escape from the battlefield, resulting in angering most of S-Class heroes.
At that time, Garou realized that Badd endangered himself, risking his job reputation as an S-Class Hero for fraternizing a supposed enemy and rejecting the Hero Association’s order. That’s why Garou asked King if the delinquent hero was okay after the incident happened.
Carefully, King telling him that unfortunately because of the incident, it put a strain between Badd and Hero Association. Badd calling out all of Hero Association’s bullshits about the whole things regarding Garou’s situation. From what King had witnessed in the meeting room, it was like hell during the post-war report meeting.
The whole debate between Badd and HA’s execs finally culminated with Badd walking out from Hero Association in silent fury, declaring he had enough of them and wanted to resign from Hero Association as soon as possible once he finished writing the resignation letter. The next day, Badd was officially not Hero Association member anymore. Then several heroes also one by one following his steps, too.
Listening to King’s explanation, Garou was shocked at how far Badd would sacrificed himself because he helped the Human Monster escaped from the wrath of S-Class heroes. It made Garou felt guilty for making so many troubles in the hero’s life: forcing Badd to fight him against his will at the first meeting, putting him into hospital with heavy wounded body, then destroying him again in their rematch. Now he was indirectly ruined his job, too.
Despite all of those things, the hero still willing to defend Garou to the extent putting himself in “me against the world” situation with the entire Hero Association members. The unwavering strong determination of Badd, Garou really admired it and also being very grateful for him. Because of Tareo and Badd, he still can survive.
In the end, Garou thanked King for telling him the truth, also for listening to Tareo’s message to not bullying him like the most heroes did. Garou respects King because of that.
Before they parted way again, Garou asked King to let Badd know that he was alive and doinb well now, that he wanted to thanking Badd for everything Badd has done for the sake of him.
And he wanted to say, that to him, Badd is his Hero. His ideal Hero.
Garou letting out a gentle but genuine smile when he said that, seems like he was happy to finally finding someone he had been searching for since he was a kid. An ideal hero who has a heart of gold, who has unwavering “Fighting Spirit” and a belief of fairness. Who never afraid to call out people’s bullshits and hate bullying, just like Garou does.
If only Garou could meet Badd in a totally different situation, he wanted to be on Badd’s side. As frienemies, or bestfriends, or partners, or maybe more.. They would be great together. If only Fate allowed them..
King understood Garou’s message and promised he would relay it to Badd once he could find him, since they were not coworkers anymore. But luckily, King has Badd’s phone contact so he would try to notify him soon.
After thanking and wishing eachother the best, King finally left Garou continuing his soul-purifying meditation in the middle of woods and started heading back home quickly as soon as possible. It was so nerve-wracking for King to have a deep talk directly with the (ex) Hero Hunter, not to mention listening to his entire “love confession” for his own (ex) coworker in just a few metres from him, what the hell..
Such a weird day for King, but strangely he was so happy for them both. Now he understand that Garou is not like what his fellow heroes said. Maybe someday Garou would get a second chance (or third?) to meet Badd again and reconciliated with him so they could have much better relationship than before..
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Bonus headcanon:
It would be so good if Garou offering King for martial art training, since King also wanted to strengthen himself. As long as there is a determination, even from a weak man, Garou really appreciated the spirit. He would definitely gives the best martial art training course for King. Maybe the end result wasn’t so good, but at least King was willing to try and that’s what matters.
In return, Garou would ask any new information from Badd. From what King have seen, Garou is like a highschooler boy who got a big crush on his classmate but didn’t have any clue what should he do, at all. Seems like Badd is Garou’s first love, considering everything Badd has done for the ex Hero Hunter made Garou becomes so enamored of him.
King couldn’t help but giving some wise advice for him in case someday Garou comes back to the city to meet Badd again. He hoped his advice would helped Garou on figuring out his true feeling for Badd. How could Garou be able to learn and analyze enemies’ fighting style in a matter of seconds, when he couldn’t even analyze his own feeling himself?? Huge migraine coming through King’s head as he realized his new job as a love consultant for Garou.
On the other hand, King also keep befriending Badd despite they’re technically not coworkers anymore. And I think Badd wouldn’t judge King about him committing a fraud, even he would supporting King wholeheartedly after hearing King wanted to be a better man. Sometimes Badd would hangouts on King’s place playing some games with King and Saitama, or chatting with Genos who happens to accompany Saitama at King’s place.
When King telling Badd about his encounter with Garou, Badd immediately asking him if Garou was okay as he worried so much for that wolfman since he fled from the battlefield. King reassured Badd that Garou was alright and currently still hiding from the public for awhile until the situation good enough for his coming back.
Then King explained all the things Garou had said about Badd, in which made the delinquent hero very flustered. Not expecting Garou would say something sweet like that and even harbouring a crush on him, too! From watching Badd’s reaction, King guessed this is the first time Badd receiving some genuine appreciation and love confession at the same time. Gotta make these “love inexperience” teenagers’ relationship works out fine, then.
There he was. King being a good friend (also a cupid) for both Badd and Garou, relaying messages to both of them regularly: to Garou whenever he has martial art training session with Garou, and to Badd whenever Badd is not busy working for Neo Heroes.
Garou refused to give away his hideout place to Badd as he wasn’t ready to meet Badd yet, no matter how much Badd been wanting to see him. Badd was determinated to find Garou and kick his ass himself for making him worried, and also because he missed Garou so much. While King just wanted all of these teenagers’ love drama ended well so he could rest soon.
At some point, Badd had decided to find Garou himself as he went towards Garou’s supposed location. But once he arrived on there, Garou has already gone. Not only that, King also couldn’t track Garou anymore since probably he probably had guessed that Badd would come to search for him.
Feeling deeply disappointed because he couldn’t see Garou or even heard his voice, Badd returned back to home with heavy heart. Badd was just wanted Garou to say those sweet love confession by himself in front of him. So, Badd could give immediate answer Garou could listen directly that Badd would accept Garou for what he is, and that he was willing to help Garou getting a better life.
But since Garou wasn’t ready yet, what Badd could do?
At the same time on the downtown area of some city, a certain wolfman just starting his first part-time job. Garou hoped this could be a good beginning of his new life as a changed man. He would proved Badd that he can be a better person, because of him..
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—- THE END —–
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Notes:
At first, this headcanon supposed to be a short one but I got carried away, lol! 😂
I noticed King was kinda underappreciated, so why not giving him an important role since he got involved with both of them in canon (although we still haven’t know yet at how much interaction between Garou and King at that webcomic chapter, we only could assumed the probability).
We have seen the impact of King’s genuine wise advice on Saitama, that’s such very good trait from him. Seeing how it turned out well for Saitama, why not King becomes love consultant for these dumbass-in-love teenagers? 😚💕
I apologized if this headcanon looks sucks waaaah forgive me, I start writing this at 4 AM and just finished at 6 AM with a little to no sleep, I’m so sorry 😅🙇💦
Any other thought about this headcanon, anyone? 👀✨😳👉👈
@hiro-gari @the-goddessfighter @garous-nipple
Thank you so much for reading this another silly headcanon! I hope you enjoyed it 😭🙏💕💞💖💝💐
Also thank you, Lilia, for always putting up with me and the whole random dumbass writings of mine! You’re the best, ilysm 😘💖
Have a nice day, guys! 🍀🌻
-Little1993lamb-
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~Lilia:
Awe my goodness yeesss, some love for King!! He fits the role of confidant SO perfectly, he’s never really judgmental except of himself 😔, and seems like he’d be a great listener. Although yeah he’d be terrified of Garou at first 😭😂 but once he realizes his questions are those of someone genuinely concerned, he chills out a bit *King Engine quiets slightly*
Garou being worried about Tareo and grateful that he stood up for him 😢 aww my heart.. I so hope for a reunion between them after Garou’s through being awakened and all
And Garou learning about the hell Badd raised after the fact 😩 like he’s already feeling shitty and taking a Long Shower to clear his head, now he’s feeling responsible for getting his ideal Hero fired basically :// it’s the perfect conditions for him to just confess everything to King don’t let him find out he’s bff’s with Saitama yet tho 😳 awkward
This bonus headcanon!! Yes!! I was reading the webcomic and getting so sad that no one would genuinely take the time to even consider training King 😩 I was like, there’s a perfectly good martial artist right!! there!! waiting for a redemption arc!! Even if he doesn’t end up being the best at it, maybe Garou could at least help with boosting King’s confidence a little bit aww... and in return he’s just like passing little love notes between them because they’re clueless teenagers 😂 But he seems like the romantic type, I doubt he’d mind too much 😌 but I’m sure that witnessing their terrible awkwardness would get frustrating askdkdksk NOW KISS ALREADY
Thank you anon, I always appreciate your writings so much 😚💗💕🌸 you never fail to brighten my day ILY!!
#UGH THT BRIEF BADD/TAREO INTERACTION#he's thisclose to figuring out who the 'old dude' that saved him is#i wanna believe murata's super into these next chapters and that's why he's being so productive#lets hope :')#also I always look forward to hearing from you 😩💕#i’d love to talk to you more actually 🥺👉👈 hhhh#ok ilysm pls get some rest 💕#submission#opm#garou#metal bat#batarou#king
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51 blind!femreader with raihan
Do it coward
Used artwork credit here
A/N: Says the one who wont come off anon. I really like the idea of this one, i get to express my headcanon of Raihan being a soff and gentle boi- nonetheless, thanks for the ask! Hopefully you'll like it.
Oh and im making this into a two part mini fanfic—
╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡
Gallade carefully held your hand as he leads you to the nearest pokemon center in Hammerlocke; the knight-like pokemon made sure you took your steps correctly as one of his hands were on your back, supporting you.
You were thankful that your mom gave you Ralts when you were a little kid, in which ralts evolved into a male kirlia when your mom accidentally exposed it to a dawn stone. Nonetheless, it didn't stop you from giving him the same love and affection as you did before— Gallade grew fond of you too as he watches you grow up into a bright individual, not losing hope even if you've lost your sense of sight from the moment you were born.
Many memories were made ever since then, especially when you participated in the gym challenge together with your trusted pokemon. Some challengers you've met immediately looked down on you the first time they saw you, and some are quite the opposite, treating you kindly and competing with you healthily. Luckily, your Gallade is always there to protect you if someone ever dares to lay a finger on you, same with your bestfriend Hop.
You're just grateful that you didn't have to go through this alone, yknow?
But, apparently the environment in the Dragon Type Gym wasn't that friendly, and it didn't go well. Before you started you challenge with the dragon tamer himself, you were challenged by a group of teens, who obviously looked down on you since they noticed that you weren't 'normal'; the battle itself was gruelling, but Gallade manages to bring you back to safety, along with Gardevoir.
Before the battle, the group of teens muttered harsh words about you, speaking about how you shouldn't advance forwards to the next gym leader since that its evident on how defeat is imminent considering your conditions.
However, you were somewhat used to these type of insults ever since you were a child. Your bullies helped you in the process of toughening up yourself, and you did it quite well— it's just that one of them said something in particular which leads to you feeling empty and.. hopeless.
Gallade took a notice in your behavior and decided that he will give your opponent no mercy in the battle afterwards, Gardevoir agreed on helping him too, seeing you feeling down because of their simple words and stingy mouths.
They then tried cheering you up when the battle ended, you replied with a soft smile and told your pokemon that you're going to be alright, and that they should focus on the oncoming match with the dragon type gym leader himself.
Gardevoir went back into your pokeball as Gallade stayed outside, guiding you to the pokemon center.
╞═════𖠁𐂃𖠁═════╡
Back to the present, you got all your pokemon healed up and everything was back to normal. Though you wasn't sure if Gallade was alright since he stayed outside this whole time to help you get where you are.
"Gallade, do you need to recover?" You said as your hand tried to reach the pokemon's shoulder, and the knight-like pokemon was quick to hold your hand and lead it to where his shoulder was, followed by a cheerful sound emitted from the pokemon himself. He seemed like he didn't need to recover, hence he lets out that sound from earlier; you only laughed and gave his shoulder a light pat, muttering a trail of soft 'okay's afterwards.
Even so, you tried to take out a few of the snacks you bought from the vending machine, rummaging through your bag as you relied on you sense of touch to find the said item. After awhile, you felt your hand pressing on the texture of what it seems to be a plastic; you made sure it was the correct item you was going for, shaking it twice before finally taking it out of your bag.
You gave your pokemon the snack, accompanied with a bright grin. Even if you're not able to see your Gallade's reactions, you could feel him happily accepting the snack you gave him and tearing it open, immediately munching on the food.
Well, as long your pokemon is happy, you're happy too.
While Gallade was busy enjoying himself with his snack, you walked around the pokemon centre, trying to find a seat to put your bag down and take a moment to relax yourself. You knew walking around yourself anywhere was a bad idea when you didn't have your guide pokemon with you, but you did it anyways, wanting to be independent for once and not trouble your pokemon. Gallade already did so much for you, its only fair that you shouldn't trouble him when you got the chance, after all, its only the pokemon centre, how hard can it be to find a seat? Surely its there, somewhere.
You began taking small steps with your hand reaching out infront of you, making sure you wouldn't bump onto a wall or something while you were walking. "So far so good" you said to yourself as you wandered around the area, not bumping into anyone or anything.
Your hand was touching the wall for support, while the other one was facing down, trying to grasp the texture of a table....if you ever managed to find one, that is.
But apparently, all you found was a person as you bumped into their side, or assumingly it was their side; your sudden act of foolishness was followed by a sound of 'oof' coming from your side, and a sound of "ah?" From their side, probably from not expecting this happening.
"Im so sorry" you apologized as you looked up, trying to angle your head to face their own gaze. You assumed the person was taller than you since most of the people you met are taller than you. Gallade finally picked up on what's happening and rushed to your side, apologizing too in your stead and hoping that the person would understand your condition.
The person, luckily, said it was alright and it wasn't a big deal— though Gallade thought the person was familiar from hearing Hop's stories back then. The pokemon looked at you, then looked back at the person, wondering if his guesses was correct; the Duralodon beside him was also curious after watching Gallade's behavior.
Duraludon notices that you were wearing the challenger uniform, in which it immediately informed it's trainer.
"Dura duraaa!!" It chirped as the man looked at it, then looking at your direction.
A grin then appeared on his lips as he began to notice your uniform too "Oh, you're a challenger?" He asked you in a relaxed tone; a huff of relief pass your lips as you thanked Arceus that the man wasn't mad for your foolish behavior. You then immediately answered him
"Yes! I am!"
You were happy that they didn't leave a harsh comment on how you were lacking one of your senses too, in which most people do the first second they notice it.
The man then proceeded on taking a card from his pocket and handed it to you. Of course you didn't understand anything that's happening for obvious reasons, but Gallade helped you by taking the card from him and giving it to you.
This made the man confused; why didn't you take his card? Why did your pokemon take it instead? Though it might be an impolite question to ask in the first time of meeting someone, he felt like he should ask, just to prevent future miscommunications and other unpleasant things from happening.
"My apologies if this sounded rude but," here it goes, you heard the first sentence and braced yourself to answer it the moment the person finishes it. "Are you visually impaired?" He asked politely, and he didn't even use the word 'Blind'!! This just shows how much he was trying to not disrespect you and ask in the most polite way.
The man's words made you feel happy and glad that he tried to be polite to you— polite to someone who's assumingly younger than him. You then replied with a nod as Gallade chirped beside you as if he's thanking the man infront of you from not disrespecting his trainer.
Duraludon seemed happy too after finding out your condition, it was accepting and welcoming, much like it's trainer.
He then muttered "Ah i see i see" after getting your response. Maybe you thought that the man was thinking about how it was quite rare to see a challenger like yourself, visually impaired and all of that, needing a guide pokemon to help you in your daily life— and here you are, living and breathing like the others. There's nothing different about you really, its just that people failed to see that and often take the action on bullying you because you were lacking one of your senses.
"Well then,"
The man spoke once again as you looked at him on the face, letting him know that you're listening to him.
"I'm Raihan, nice to meet you"
#Pokemon#Raihan x reader#Raihan#Raihan pokemon#Kibana/Raihan#Pokemon imagines#Pokemon sword#Pokemon shield#Pokemon swsh#Pokemon sword and shield#Requests#Imagines#Writing#Fanfic#X reader
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- Love & Zombies -
Aaah I know I’m late to the party but this literally came to me today at work after watching Train to Busan with my hubby yesterday 😅
Summary: you and your boyfriend stay in for Halloween for a movie night, and the movie of choice is Train to Busan! Not only your boyfriend is a scaredy cat, he also asks you a pretty heavy question that may affect your relationship.
Pairing: Jung Hoseok x reader
Genre: fluff, domestic, established relationship au, idol au
Word count: 1600
Warning: none other than it’s heavy with plots and spoilers of the movie Train to Busan! And of course depiction of JHS in the story is pure of my imagination.
—
Halloween has always been one of your favorite events in the year. You like cosplaying, making your own costumes and putting on an alter ego even for just a couple of hours. You even came up with this year’s costume right after Halloween last year. You were excited when you found a beautiful red trench coat in a vintage shop just a few days after, complete with the red wide brim hat. Unfortunately because of the pandemic, your Halloween plans are cancelled, and your debut as Carmen San Diego has to wait for another year.
Fortunately, because of the pandemic, your boyfriend’s travel plans abroad are cancelled, and for once he is able to spend Halloween with you. Despite his busy schedule for the upcoming comeback, he has made sure he has 31 October free. You both are pleased to spend the night together at your place, away from the other members, for your Halloween movie night. He even bought matching Snoopy pyjamas- yours has Snoopy and Woodstock jumping out of a pumpkin shouting ‘Boo!’ and his has poor Charlie Brown clutching his heart in shock.
You know your boyfriend is the jumpy type, screaming and squealing at the smallest sound. And he has been very adamant that you will not be watching any horror movies of the supernatural type. So you have chosen Train to Busan and Shaun of the Dead. Although both are zombie movies, there aren’t many jump scare scenes and the gore level is pretty tame. You are quite sure your boyfriend won’t be hanging on to you for dear life throughout the night.
Hoseok settles on the sofa with a big bowl of popcorn on his lap as you start the first movie, Train to Busan. He claimed he has seen it before, albeit he covered his eyes 99% of the time.
He is still quite relaxed over the opening scene, until the dead deer on the road came back to life. He sits closer to you, pressing his side tightly against yours.
“Hobi-ah, it’s not even 5 minutes into the movie!” You tease him.
“The deer, YN, it’s a zombie deer!” You chuckle and pat his head. He laughs and tries to relax, but you feel your body starts leaning to one side with Hoseok pressing so much onto your other side.
Hoseok makes some comments as the movie unfolds- how cute the little girl playing the daughter is, how good looking Gong Yoo is in his suit- and you know it is just his way to calm and distract himself over what is to come. He hides behind your back when the injured young woman gets into the train and squeals when the little girl saw a person getting jumped by a zombie at the train platform.
Everything goes downhill from there. He keeps telling the characters to run, to hide, to fight the zombies, all the while with a deathly grip on your hand. You even had to save the bowl of popcorn from falling off his lap because he is moving too much, agitated.
“It’s ok Hoseokie, I will protect you,” you coo at him.
“Ah, YN, I should be the one protecting you but I don’t think I’ll be able to do anything.” He laughs nervously.
“No babe, we’ll work together, right. I’d arm myself with a baseball bat to smash the zombies’ heads.” You tilt your head. “You know, I don’t understand why they don’t just aim at their knees. Break their knees, they wont be able to chase after you.” You wonder out loud.
“Wah YN, you’re really thinking seriously about this.” Hoseok is practically sitting behind you know. His hands are on your shoulders, massaging them gently except for the few times when the zombies get too close to the characters and he squeezes your shoulders hard. Super hard.
“Of course, in an apocalypse we must think critically to survive. I’d kill the zombies, you can be in charge of food. Rationing, cooking. You’re much better at planning than I am. And when I’m tired of killing zombies, you can give me shoulder massages.”
Hoseok chuckles at that, and kisses the back of your head.
You both continue the movie, Hoseok now sitting behind you and you between his legs. You crack up a few more jokes, pointing out some of the mistakes the characters in the movie commit, and promising your boyfriend all those errors have been etched on your brain to ensure you wouldn’t do the same in a zombie apocalypse. Hoseok is more relaxed now, laughing and teasing at how serious you are planning your and his survival.
Until you come to the scene where the selfish executive pushes the high school girl to the zombies to save himself.
“Poor Wooshik,” Hoseok says, “he has to see his girlfriend turn into a zombie!”
You scoff at the scene, especially at the part where Wooshik’s character is cradling his girlfriend and apologising to her. “It’s stupid,” you comment, “he’s gonna die soon.”
And sure enough, once the girl has stopped convulsing and truly turned into a zombie, she bites her boyfriend.
“See!” you shout. “He’s so stupid, he’s survived all this while only to die because he can’t leave his girlfriend!”
Hoseok pulls your body aside, half turning it so you can face him.
“Babe, if I got bitten by a zombie, you’d stay with me, right?” He asks, eyes serious and voice earnestly worried.
“Of course not! You’ve been bitten!” You answer, perhaps too quickly.
“So, you’d leave me behind?” His voice is rising, full of disappointment and hurt.
“Well, do you want me to die with you or to continue surviving?”
Hoseok looks puzzled at your question, and unable to answer.
“I mean, if I can put you in a place where you’d be confined after you become a zombie, yeah I’d stay with you,” you think out loud, “but say in that same situation like in the movie, where you’d easily jump me and eat my brains, I’d probably kiss you goodbye right after you get bitten then I’d run to save my ass.”
“I am seriously hurt, YN. I can’t believe you’d leave me.” Hoseok pouts.
“Well if I don’t leave, YOU would kill me! Is that any better?” You counter.
He huffs and you both continue watching the movie in silence. You find it funny that Hoseok would take it so seriously and you want to laugh at the silliness of it. But you also know you need to do some damage control to cheer up your sunshine.
“Hobi, in an apocalypse, we have to think logically and critically. We can’t let emotions make decisions for our survival.” You turn slightly so you can drape an arm around your boyfriend. Your position has shift so now you’re sitting sideways in his lap, and you kiss his cheek tenderly.
“I love you, and I’d never ever leave you, you know that. And even if I had to, because you’re turning into a zombie, I’d be crying and crying over losing you for days, months, and even years. I won’t stop thinking of you. And I’d be blaming myself for failing to protect you. And I give you permission to haunt me to my dying days as my penance.”
You turn his head to face you, and you kiss him softly on his lips. “I love you, Jung Hoseok.”
“I love you too, YN,” he replies, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you back sweetly.
Then he suddenly lets go of you, and you stumble back on the sofa. “Oh my god YN! Gong Yoo! That evil executive bit him!”
Hoseok is practically fuming, “Ah, that selfish man, I hate him! Why does he have to bite Gong Yoo? That poor girl, she now has to see her father turn into a zombie!”
You right yourself up, staring at your boyfriend in amusement. “Aish YN, I can’t believe Gong Yoo is turning into a zombie.” Hoseok is truly looking very, very affected by the turn of events in the movie. And when Gong Yoo’s character throws himself off to save his daughter, you are pretty sure your boyfriend is in the brink of tears.
Hoseok is now leaning forward, and asking you if the little girl will survive. You feel like telling him that no, the girl will become a zombie too just to tease him. But he is gripping your hand so hard at the ending scene of the movie, shouting at the soldiers not to shoot the girl and the other survivor. And when the girl starts singing while crying, Hoseok is shaking your shoulders while still screaming for the girl to survive and live.
Once the end credits roll, Hoseok plops back on the sofa, breathing heavily in relief. You look at him, and announce, “OK, let’s not watch Train to Busan anymore. This movie does not do you, or us, any good.”
“I agree, YN, it’s just too sad. Too sad!” He laments.
Too sad? You scoff and swat your boyfriend. He reacts in his typical manner- eyes wide and face full of innocence while asking you what he has done to earn a smack on his arm. You jump on him, tickling him and pretending to eat him like a zombie would, and he trashes around, laughing hysterically, trying to escape you.
He finally manages to flip you and pin you down. His laughter dies down to a soft smile, and he leans down to kiss you.
“I love you, my zombie killer. Happy Halloween.”
—
Thank you for reading! 💜
#bts x reader#bts fanfic#jhs x reader#bts x you#bts fluff#bts x y/n#bts fan fiction#jung hoseok#jung hobi#hoseok fanfic#hoseok imagine#jhs fluff#bts imagines
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❝SENSIVITY❞ kjw ― s.
― summary:
jungwoo finds out ways to point out how sensitive you are and plays with you for a bit to discover how much he actually likes it.
dom!jungwoo/sub!fem.reader | smut | 1.7k
↬ content warnings: licking, this whole fic is just teasing, creampie, orgasm denial, masturbation fem. receiving, biting.
a/n: there is nothing left to be added. @channiesmixtape get ur man.
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"Jungwoo! Give me 3 negative things about me.” I screamed through the dorm and hoped he could hear me although he is in the kitchen, doing god knows what.
“HUH?!” He sounded confused and walked up into his room where he found me on his bed with my glasses on and my usual look I always had on a weekend at his dorm. Completely messy bun, way too huge hoodie and shorts to expose my legs a bit. My laptop on my thighs and my hands on the keyboards, thinking about 3 negative things I could have to say for this project.
“It’s for my friends school project because he has to make a description on every student of our class and he asked what are 3 negative things about me.” I have been thinking about how I could write this down for the last 15 minutes but I couldn’t tell you how much this question started to annoy me.
“bratty, impatient and hypersensitive.” he leaned down to look at me with his eyebrows and smirked at my offended expression. I opened my mouth in shock of his comments but soon after the realization that I could not comeback from that fact.
“Okay, wait. I get that I am impatient. But I am not bratty or hypersensitive!” I grinned at him and waited for his answer, but there was no talking.
He simply put his hand on my open thighs and just let them rest there. I looked down at his face with an easy smile, signaling him that absolutely nothing was bothering me with that action. He then raised his lips eyebrow and stared at me, while he was slowly rising upwards. I felt my heart beating faster and harder.
"Are you still not sensitive?" He was still smiling at me with his hand now abruptly pushing up my crotch. I whined and pushed my body down to the bed, trying to catch my breath for a bit. I couldn't tell you how, but Jungwoo found his way to take off my shorts.
I couldn't give in, I could not show him how much this affected me in so many ways. I could not. But his fingers were stroking and pushing my lips apart softly. In the most teasing way possible he brushed over my clit and I held his wrists to maintain my breath.
"Put your hands above your head and do not move." He snapped at me the exact moment I slightly touched him. His big brown eyes were as hot and passionate as fire, having me in a kind of trance. He was looking at me and his features were as cold as a stone.
"Make me." I looked at his eyes getting darker and expressionless. I did not know what he was thinking about but it doesn't matter, whatever it may be I will not be very amused about it nor profit anything from it. He stared at me and suddenly had an idea in his head. He got to the drawer next to his bed, and seemed to plug in something. The sound of metal touching together was audible in the quietness.
"If you wont stop moving, I will make you." He took my hand in his grip and grabbed it to the end of the bed. The metallic sound were...handcuffs?
"Why do you have these?" I whined as he was yanking my wrists to the cuffs and closed them. He smiled at me a little more warmer now.
"Let it be my business, my bratty princess." His voice maybe dropped two or three octaves and had a more rougher sounds on his usual soft voice.
Jungwoo, has restricted any kind of movement that was possible. Except my legs. His hands pushing them apart and now properly taking off my panties. He was above me and licked his way all over my nakedness, his wet tongue tracing every single inch of my hot needs. His tongue finding its way to my neck and his teeth softly tugged at my frailty. He moved on from the oral torture and his interest rose into something else.
The device he has plugged in, was getting to use now. The vibrator that he bought me as a valentine gift, just got more exciting to use. The light buzz of the device echoed in the silent room and he grunted at the sight of my bare nudity.
“You’re dripping, little cum slut. How cute.” The grunts he let out were playing around with my mind. The sounds that Jungwoo let out sometimes could get me over the edge. The soft and melodic groans and moans he lets out from time to time were the most hot thing I could have in my ears.
He pressed the hard and cold metal against my thighs and watched me through his brown and hungry eyes. My face getting a slight tint of pink, my eyes closed hardly and trying to chase down my relief. The moans escaped my mouth easily and fluently, not stopping my calls for him to not stop.
“It’s on 1 babygirl, should I go up to 9?” He chuckled at my current state of absolute desire and need. He kept his hand on the wand increased the setting on it. Higher to a now 3 and the pressure of the cold and hard metal pushing against my clit harder now. I felt my hands getting sweaty and my breath hitching, I couldn’t let myself go like that and show him the most vulnerable and sensitive side of me, but his hand caressing my breasts and neck in the most teasing way possible. I opened my eyes again and saw his strong eyes starring at my bare body with such a thirst in them.
He found it very amusing to see me struggling like this with my eyes closed and eyebrows pushed together. My hands over my head, not being able to move anything except my heaving chest and shaking legs. He suddenly and out of nowhere pushed the previous 3 to a 7 now. I screamed loudly and pushed the vibrator away with my feet. I shook uncontrollably and unstoppable. He took the vibrator again and pressed it against my clit again, now harder and mercilessly. My eyes rolled back and my fingers buried themselves down the sheets. My head pushed itself down the mattress.
“If you move again I will fuck you with this baseball bat next to me. Do not make me cum slut.” He hissed next to my ear and pulled my hair to his face.
“Jun-Jungwoo, please.”
“Please what little brat?”
“I n-need you in me.” I was able to whimper out and it seemed like he was waiting to hear that one sentence from me. He was waiting to hear these 5 little words. Hearing that he has stuffed my mouth with my panties
He immediately took the vibrator away from my throbbing and aching core and took his jogging pants off to show me his red and veiny cock. He pushed my legs apart and pulled them over his shoulder and wrenched my hips, leaving a trail of blue and purple marks there.
Jungwoo shoved himself inside me with no warning nor any sign of his sudden and slightly painful action. I cried out at his length being stroked in me. A broken groan loudly appeared from his opened mouth and he came down to my neck to softly wrap his sharp teeth on my delicate skin. The sound of the skin hardly clapping and the various grunts of his and mine were audible from the whole dorm.
My legs started to twitch combined with my hands that were stuck to the metal above my head. He kept on going but noticed my shaking and the way far off lost expression on my face. My mind was gone and chasing the high that I absolutely needed.
“F-faster, please D-daddy!” Moans of my longing and yearning condition took over my action and mind.
“Will you admit that you’re sensitive?” He asked and thrusted into me with such an unbelievably fast pace. My head was turning and my hands were trying to get off the restriction but with no luck.
“Y-yes!” I finally gave in forgot about every comment and every look that he gave me. His hands on my legs now were creeping it’s way to my hips and kneaded them hardly.
“Yes, what?”
“Yes, Da-daddy!” I screamed and he increased his movement into a even more rapid speed. My whole body was shaking in the rhythm of his jolts. I clenched around him and it resulted in his pushing himself completely in and the force pushed me over the edge as well as him.
The loud ‘fuck’ came out of his mouth with his cock balls deep inside of me, gave me the feeling of incredible fulfillment. He stayed in me for a moment and let his sperm squirt. He needed a long moment to calm down from the needed high. He breathed in and out next to my ear and I could feel his heartbeat racing in his chest.
“What a sensitive girl you are.”
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The Case of the Blue Sweater | Tom Hiddleston
Pairing: Mob!Tom Hiddleston x cop!reader
Style: one shot
WC: 10.7k
Warnings: crime, alcohol, drinking, implied sexual content (very much so), uhh, theres no blood, also NB: THIS STORY IS INCOMPLETE AND I WONT BE THE ONE TO FINISH IT! (story is also unedited to please dont hate me for any mistakes)
Summary: Hey so I read your Mob!Tom x reader and it got me thinking.. Could you write a Fic where Tom is in the mob but the reader is a cop? And like they’re secretly dating but technically the reader has to make it look like they’re hunting him down but they really aren’t? (If that makes sense) Idk I feel like I just need this in my life rn 😂😂
A/N: i got this ask back in january i think and i jumped on it right away, but at some point tumblr deleted it so i cant tag who asked (and i know this wasnt anonymous bc i remember but i never put it in the doc annoyingly). anyways, i started writing it, got to 10k words and lost motivation and never finished it. i really like the AU but nothing ever really happened.... im so sorry. I hope you enjoy what i have ^_^
A loud ringing paired with the loudest on and off buzzing from your phone vibrating on the nightstand is what pulls you out of your slumber. The sounds screech in your ears and you reach over to stop it, to just slide the button over so that your ears can stop bleeding. However, as you lean out of the arms wrapped around you, their grip strengthens and you’re dragged back into the chest of the man sharing your bed.
“Tom,” you say. A smile plays on your lips, the set of events not unusual for an early morning.
He nuzzles into your hair, places a wet kiss at the base of your neck. “Five minutes,” he mumbles into your skin.
You shake your head slightly, as much as you can with the limited space. “Can I at least turn the sound off?”
His grip slackens, making you able to reach the little way over to turn off the blaring alarm. The silence that comes with is welcome in every way, but the relief isn’t long-lasting when Tom drags you back into his chest, his nose quickly nuzzling back to where it was.
Two seconds is what it takes before he’s pressing kisses to your neck. Rough, slender fingers graze up the side of your body until they reach your neck, where they brush away your hair. With Tom’s easy access, the soft kisses slowly turn into something more, something rougher, and the use of his tongue causes a slight tickle to trail through your body.
“Tom.” You shift a little where you lay, taking away his access as you turn your head. In the shift, the man easily moves to trail kisses up your jaw, and as you whisper his name again, his lips connect with yours.
It’s a hungry kiss. He sucks at your bottom lip and his hand grabs your jaw, holding your head in place. You lean into him, kissing him back with equal fervor, however, you’re quickly dragged out of the bliss, when your phone goes off again.
There is no mistaking the death glare Tom sends the mini-computer. You chuckle slightly and push him off you to reach it. This time, it’s not an alarm, but a phone call.
Your boss’s call ID lights up the screen, and you give Tom a stern look as you press to accept the call. With the phone to your ear, Tom shrugs and moves under the covers. His hands trail down your body, teasing you as his fingers trace up your inner thighs.
“Y/L/N,” you say.
A grunt is heard from the other side first, then, “I need you to come in ASAP.” Your boss’s voice sounds urgent, desperate.
You check the clock. “I’m not supposed to come in in another hour,” you reply. “Is it that important?”
“Yeah, wouldn’t have called you otherwise.” It’s like you can hear him nod and roll his eyes at the same time. “We got a lead in the case.”
“What kind of lead? And which case?”
As your boss answers, you can feel Tom’s tongue on the inside of your thigh. In surprise at the feeling you barely manage to suppress the squeal that works up in your throat, and you miss your boss’s reply. (You don’t miss Tom’s smug laugh from under the duvet, nor how he continues to work his way closer to your clit.)
“Y/L/N?” comes from the other end of the line when you gain back… well, really some of your dignity, but mostly your mind.
“I’m here, sir.” You sigh. “Just something that happened that caught my attention. Cat nearly knocked down something made of glass.”
(You don’t have a cat, why was that the first excuse you could come up with? Your boss doesn’t know that, though, so it’s safe.)
“Didn’t know you had a cat, but that could happen to the best of us.” Your boss clears his throat. “The lead’s pretty good, but can’t say it over the phone so you gotta come in. It’s on the case about the Blue Sweater.”
You roll your eyes at the nickname of the case. One of the major criminals you were trying to take down is often seen wearing blue sweaters, and at a briefing you’d offered it as a code name; who knows who listens in on phone calls―they do seem to have a knack for being one step ahead of you, too.
But you don’t mention that to your boss. “Alright, sir, I’ll be on my way as fast as I can.”
“Make it less than half an hour and we’re good.”
“No problem, sir.”
Your boss is the one to hang up, and as you throw your phone down on the bed, Tom peeks his head up from under the covers. You send him a glare. “You should be happy you didn’t get started whilst I was on the phone.”
Your boyfriend smirks up at you. “Oh, you wouldn’t have liked that?”
“I didn’t say I wouldn’t like it.”
Tom shrugs. “You got time, right?” Though before you can answer he slides back under the cover, uses his hands to steady your hips and dips his head low. God, if only you had more time.
--
The moment the elevator door opens and you step out into the crowded office space of the police station, you hear your name being called. You wish you weren’t the head detective on the, currently, biggest case pertaining to crime bosses. Just once you wish you could come to work and not have at least five people at a time want to ask you a question or pepper you with information you already have.
You kind of wish you weren’t the head detective for another reason, too, but that’s a minor detail. Actually, that might be the reason you need to be the head detective; way easier to steer an investigation when you’re leading it.
Nonetheless, you have no choice in which cases you lead or not. And that’s usually the reason why there’s three people cluttering your desk as you sit down. You’re not entirely sure that’s the reason today.
You plop down in your chair and stare up at the talking men in front of you. The three of them notice you quickly (after all, it was them that yelled your name) and the chatter dies out.
“I’m here half an hour early and I would love to know what made me skip my morning shower.” (It would have been morning shower sex, and you are a little very annoyed that you had to skip it.)
Your boss coughs, gaining your attention. “Briefing room. Five minutes.” The man looks slightly uncomfortable, but that’s not a big surprise. You’ve been told many times that you have that kind of face that makes people squirm; just something about you is, apparently, intimidating.
“Okay.”
And he walks away.
“You two doing at my desk then?” you ask your coworkers. The two men are your right and left hand in most cases, but this one especially. You wouldn’t even be half the way you are now if you didn’t have them. (Though how much that says, you’re not sure, because you really have nothing.)
“Well…,” starts Mackie. His hand goes up to scratch his neck. “...really we just naturally gravitate here.”
You squint at him, and divert your gaze to Evans (who you know is a shitty liar). Even though you’re not opening your mouth to say anything and he isn’t looking at you, you can see the big man trying to make himself smaller.
“We were gonna try and see if you’d left a hint to who you’re sleeping with,” he says, and despite the way he doesn’t meet your gaze, he says it so casually you’re actually taken aback.
“Excuse me?” You let out a huff, and shake your head. “My sex life is my sex life. You two” ―you point at both of them― “have no business with it.” You stand up from your chair and shake your head yet again. “And if you really think I’d leave evidence lying around, I gotta figure out how to let you know that’s not something I’d do.”
(And if you had, well, your career would for sure be over. If not worse.)
But with that out of the way, you make your way to the briefing room. Captain Cheadle, your boss, stands at the head of the table. In his hand, he holds a wireless presenter, and a few papers are scattered on the table in front of him. You take your place at the table, and as you do, your phone buzzes to signal a new message.
The captain gives you a shrug and that’s all the permission you need to fish your phone from your pocket and check the text.
[08.38] twh
darling, you left something at your flat
[08.38] you
you talking about yourself? that doesnt count
[08.39] twh
that too but no, you left your keys
[08.39] you
you doing anything today??
[08.39] twh
you know i am, but i can get them to you
[08.40] you
gtg but yes please
or there are other solutions…
You let out a slight groan knowing you’ll have to figure out how to get your keys without actually meeting Tom. You can’t meet in public, and there are few places where you can meet without being discovered; there’s a reason you’re always at your apartment and never at his house. (well, you’ve been there once, but that was with work and it doesn’t count.)
Whatever his reply is to the latest text you sent, you don’t get to read (though you do feel the vibration on your thigh). Captain Cheadle has called for your attention, Mackie and Evans having seated themselves in the room as well, and you can’t do anything but pay attention to your boss.
“The tip we got is an inside tip.” The captain steps aside to let the projector show a photo of the biggest crime boss currently in New York City, Tom Hiddleston. As with every other photo he’s in, he’s wearing a fucking blue sweater. “The source is reliable, as we know of their work with Hiddleston, but we’re not sure if the tip is.”
He clicks to another photo, which is of the same man getting into a car. Only, he’s getting into the driver’s seat, something that is unusual for someone that has his own driver. “We can’t know if the tip is true or not, but we’re guessing there’s some truth to it.”
You roll your eyes slightly (not enough for the captain to notice). “Can you tell us what it is yet?”
Captain Cheadle nods. “There’s been a mystery woman in his life. None of his men know, but based on a lift in spirits and an increase in nights gone from his own house, they believe he has to be seeing someone. Rumor amidst his men, according to our tip, is that it's been going on for a few months.”
A knot tightens in your gut. A few months is a little less than correct, but yeah… It’s been six months since you started dating Tom Hiddleston. Off work, on a weekend, you met him in a bar, you got drunk and your mind didn’t work in any other way than tell you how hot he was and how good he made you feel. There was little persuasion needed for Tom to get you in a bed, naked, and screaming out his name. And so far, he’s managed to do it most nights since.
(The case had been assigned to you a month after your first encounter. You’d known his name well before you met him, but that hadn’t stopped you. And, even as his girlfriend, you had no evidence on him whatsoever.)
Yet, after six months of no one knowing anything, you’d been fairly certain you’d get away with it. At least until either one of you got enough of pretending. Tom has enough money for you to quit your job should it come to it, the only problem being that you don’t want to because you love your job.
“Did your source say anything about who the woman could be? Where to find her?” asks Evans.
You wait patiently for the reply. Your gut stirs with the thought that they’d know, that just your face (usually a poker-face no one could read no matter how much you panicked on the inside) would reveal you. But you aren’t revealing anything but being deep in thought, as you can feel Mackie’s eyes on you as your own flicker across the room and a frown has pronounced itself on your face.
“The tip was slight, but the source believes that there might be something to check at a bar. It’s one Hiddleston frequents, High Rise.”
Oh, if only the name didn’t chime with recognition at the back of your mind. There isn’t much to do but accept your fate and follow up on the lead, only try your best to avoid being recognized as the girl who left with Tom Hiddleston half a year ago. That could be rather easy, seeing as the bar was dark and you’d been wearing more make-up than usual and the dress you wore hadn’t stood out in any way, and it being six months ago.
You nod at captain Cheadle. “Anything else we should know?”
He nods slightly. “There came one more thing with the tip, but this wasn’t a written message.” He roams around his papers for something and eventually fishes out an evidence bag. Inside is an envelope and something small you can’t see from far away. He slides it across the table to you.
Your heart skips a beat at the sight of what lies in the bag. The envelope easily recognizable as one you’d written yourself (though you’d used a typewriter―fancy―so there isn’t any handwriting to check), and the content a barely visible silver and gold wristband inscribed with a phrase Tom has whispered time and time again in your ear (the most intimate you’ve been outside of sex); my safe spot is with you in my arms.
Your fingers graze over it as you look at the inscription. “That’s pretty intimate,” you say, and an agreed murmur comes from your captain.
“You traced it?” asks Mackie.
“Untraceable. Paid in cash, no receipt, and might even have been done illegally.”
At least you know that that’s not true, and if they’d tried just a little bit harder, it wouldn’t be that hard.
“Fingerprints?” you ask, though not sure exactly where it comes from. (Or, well, it comes from the fact that you’ve touched the wristband on several occasions and that, unless wiped, there should be fingerprints all over it.)
You look up from the evidence bag to see captain Cheadle shake his head. “A few around the clasp, but none enough to make a full print, and any other we could find are only Hiddleston’s. The envelope’s the same”
“The question is whether Hiddleston sent it to someone or if someone sent it to him.” Evans motions for you to slide the evidence over to him, and you do.
“He’s the biggest crime lord in New York, he’s gotta be real smitten if he’d make that to send to someone.” Mackie shrugs, not sold on the idea that Tom Hiddleston, crime boss extreme, could be sappy enough to send it apparently.
Well, if only you knew what Tom would do for the one he loves, if only you knew.
“Well,” you say and clap your hands together, “seems we have more to do today than reports.”
A slight chuckle comes from the three men in the room with you.
“I want you, Mackie, with me on a trip down to High Rise. Captain, is it possible to talk to our source other than written communication?”
A nod.
“Then I want you, Evans, to have a little chat with Hiddleston’s ex-buddy. Let’s see if he doesn’t have more information, and if you can’t get much, try a little harder on the wristband. There’s gotta be something to look for there, maybe mention it to our source?”
“On it.” Evans gives you a thumbs up, grabs the evidence and walks out the door. You and Mackie move to do the same, and on your way there, you fish your phone out from your pocket.
[08.41] twh
i’ll have to get back to you on that, but you can probably count me in
have a good day, darling
[09.27] you
sounds great
but, on some not so good news, you got a snitch amidst you
and i have smth that belongs to you in evidence
You don’t wait for a reply, certain he’s busy and also because Mackie is a nosy asshole and you’re not gonna get caught on a text message.
“You know where High Rise is?” asks Mackie as you make your way to your desk.
“GPS exists, but I have a hunch,” you say as you grab your jacket. Unfortunately, that hunch is more a hunch that your relationship is getting threatened by your work.
(“A hunch. Yeah, right, you’ve probably been there.”
“Careful what you say there, kiddo.”
“I’m older than you!”
“And yet, I’m driving.”)
--
[09.53] twh
name?
and what might that be?
[11.16] you
i didnt get one but one of my guys is questioning him
smth i bought you
[11.17] twh
ill figure it out, and that has to be my wristband. how?
[11.17] you
you tell me
Mackie nudges your arm with his elbow as you make it inside the bar. It’s mostly deserted, highly unlike the life that was there the last time you set foot in the place. A man sits in the booth in the back sipping what looks like whiskey based on the glass and the brown liquid inside. By the entrance, a woman and a man sit across each other at a table. Each of them have a beer, though only the man looks to have touched his, and the woman doesn’t look too happy with him.
However, you turn your attention to the bar, and the bartender behind the counter. Fortunately, he’s not the same one that was here when you were. Making your way over, you note the exits (the one you came in through, a backdoor in the kitchen, and―one you noted the first time you were there―the window in the ladies’ room). You also note the man sitting at the edge of the bar counter, back hunched over and an old fashioned placed in front of him. Untouched.
“How can I help you?” asks the man behind the counter. A bushy beard covers his chin, ruffled brown hair the top of his head, and tattoos cover his upper arm, visible where his t-shirt sleeve ends. In his hands he holds a cleaning towel and a glass, but as you sit down, he slings the towel over his shoulder and puts the glass down. “Guessing beer for you, sir, and maybe a scotch on the rocks for the lady?”
You shake your head, and roll your eyes at Mackie’s almost nod. You’re at work, you’re not gonna drink. “Sorry, mister, but we’re here on other business.” You pull out your badge and give him a peek.
The bartender’s eyes go wide. “Sorry, ma’am, didn’t know. You could've fooled me.” He holds out a hand. “I’m Tom Hardy, co-owner of this shithole.”
“Shithole?” Mackie eyes the man.
“Can’t say there’s a lot of good going on in here, really. Nothin’ illegal, though.” Hardy winks at Mackie and you roll your eyes. The last thing you care about is the tiny illegal things going on at the bar. “What can I help you with? There’s not been any complaints, right?”
Mackie shakes his head. “Relax, man, it’s got nothing to do with you. We’re looking for information on a man, also named Tom, but with a different last name. Hiddleston, heard of him?”
The scoff Tom Hardy comes with is barely audible, but you catch it and cock your head to the side.
“Who hasn’t heard of Tom Hiddleston? Supposedly a big mafia boss, but the police has got nothing on him.”
“We got word he frequents this bar. That true?”
Hardy nods. “He’s by at least once a week, sometimes more.”
You try to drown the ache that falls over your heart knowing he still comes by. “You know what he’s here for?”
The bartender shrugs. “Don’t get into that shit, but I know he has a deal with my co-owner, Luke Evans.”
Mackie pulls out a pad and a pen and writes down the name. “Hiddleston ever leave here with a girl in the last few months?”
Hardy shakes his head. “Nah, leaves with the same men, though he has gotten different. Before he used to indulge a little more with the women, but now he seems to not want to. They want him, though.”
The ache fades a little at that. He’s loyal, he’s trustworthy, he’s yours. “Did he use to leave with girls before?” you ask.
“Dunno. He’s usually here when Luke works, only some shifts we got together.” Hardy shrugs. “Though the times I have been here, he’s never left with a girl. He’s followed some into the bathroom, but never left with one. Gotta be some special girl for him to leave with her.”
You suppress the smile that tugs at your lips. “Thank you, mister Hardy. Could you get us in touch with your co-owner? We wanna have a little chat with him, too.”
“He works tonight. Sorry, can’t give you anymore.” The man picks up a glass again. “But if we’re done here, you’re gonna have me excused. I have a job to do.”
“Thanks for the cooperation,” says Mackie and pushes away from the counter. “We might come back for more.”
You say a small goodbye as you follow after your coworker. On the way to the door, your eyes stray to the man in the back of the bar. Something about him seems off, and even more so when he holds up his glass and tips it your way with a slight hint of a ‘cheers’. The creepy smirk that places itself on his face sparks no comfort, and you let out a sigh as you walk through the door Mackie holds open for you.
“Something wrong?” he asks.
“Got a weird feeling from one of the dudes in the bar. Might be nothing, might be something.” You shake your head, slowly, as your thoughts whirr around in your head. “Doesn’t matter. If he’s here tonight, I might check into it, but it’s probably nothing.”
Mackie shrugs. “We didn’t really get that much here either, though. Hope Evans got better luck.”
“Yeah, gotta hope. But I have a feeling our source might’ve changed his mind on talking.” You open the car door and get in, Mackie following your lead. “I have a feeling Evans might not have been very lucky.”
“You thinkin’ we might end up with… homicide?”
You shrug. “Can’t be sure, but wouldn’t be surprising. Don’t believe we’re gonna be able to connect it to Hiddelston, though.” You start the engine and pull out on the road. “Don’t believe we’re gonna have any connection other than the guy’s snitching.”
“Good enough to talk to him.”
“Good enough to blow what we have if we do.”
--
The police station became a place of chaos in a matter of seconds. One moment, you’re talking to Evans on what he could find (the source had disappeared without a trace), and the next, it’s like the station is on fire.
Evans, Mackie and yourself are out of the loop. You lean against your desk, your coworkers leaning against the neighboring ones, and look at the chaos erupted around you. People run from one place to another, screaming for help or otherwise.
Then silence consumes the crowd as someone turns up the sound of the TV in the background. You turn to see the screen. On it, there’s a picture of a fire and countless dead bodies, burnt crisps until there is nothing recognizable left to see.
“In just a few minutes the house, that belongs to the infamous crime boss Tom Hiddleston, went up in flames. Whether the man himself was in the house or not, we do not know. Police have yet to arrive at the scene, and the firemen are doing their best to put out the blazing fire. So far, we have no witnesses and no way of knowing what caused it. We’ll be back soon with more updates.”
You lock eyes with Evans and Mackie.
“Our source was in that fire, wasn’t he?” Mackie makes a grimace, and then shakes his head and throws his hands up in the air. “You called it. You fucking called it.”
“I didn’t want to call it.” You shake your head. “And we’re not the force to go out there either, so we’re gonna need someone to talk to Hiddleston about this, about his source, without it being suspicious.”
Evans gets up from his place. “I’ll ask Sebastian.”
“That buddy of yours?” you ask.
“This is the kind of case he gets called out on.”
“Go ahe―”
“Y/L/N!” You’re cut off by the sound of your captain yelling your name. “You’re going out with the team. Take one of the boys. Don’t alert Hiddleston, but he’ll know why you’re there.”
“You got it, sir.” You turn to Mackie and Evans. “Looks like we got some luck after all. Which one of you wanna join me?”
--
When you pull up to the scene, the fire has been put out. But the fire that is the press and the countless people that’ve decided this is something they need to see live, that has yet to be handled.
You and Evans walk up to the police barricade tape and shove it aside. An office tries to stop you, but you easily walk past after a flash of your badge. The head officer on the case is easily recognizable where he commands what looks like some junior officers.
“What’s the deal?” you ask.
He turns to you, and there you find Evans’s and Mackie’s friend, Sebastian Stan. He smiles at the two of you. “Got five casualties, one critically hurt on his way to the hospital. Medics think his fate’s been sealed. Other than that the fire’s been put out, and the owner of the house arrived about five minutes ago.” Sebastian points to a male figure pacing up and down the sidewalk. “Don’t know if I’d wanna talk to him though.”
You swallow a lump in your throat. “We haven’t got much choice.” You’re about to walk from the officer, but you have one last question. “You got any identities on who died?”
He shakes his head. “Nothing, and so far it seems the fire was an accident. No fuel used of any kind, nothing weird about the source, and the six that were in the house weren’t close to it. Three of them were asleep.”
“Didn’t the house have a smoke alarm?” asks Evans.
Sebastian shakes his head. “Nope. And you’re not gonna believe what they, as of now, believe to be the source.”
“What?”
“A hair dryer. Wasn’t turned off.”
You frown. “A hair dryer? Nothing else? It’s a pretty big house. Seems like a long shot.”
Sebastian shrugs. “So far we’ve ruled out arson, and seeing how annoyed the owner is over there, safe to say he wasn’t planning on burning his house down.”
Don’t say that. He wouldn’t care, seeing as that isn’t the house he uses mostly―that’s just the public one.
Even Evans knows that, and you give him a look as you move away from Sebastian and towards said owner of the house.
“Hiddleston,” you say as you near him.
The man turns around. His expression is curious rather than angry, but something tugs at his lips as his gaze flickers over to Evans. “Miss Y/L/N, what do I owe the lovely pleasure?”
“Your house burned down. Five of your men dead, and a sixth one just holding on. We’re thinking he’ll die, too, medics said it was critical.” You shrug. “But you already knew that, right?”
Tom smiles, and takes a step closer to you. You have to hold out a hand to stop Evans from coming in between, knowing you have somewhat of a bodyguard in the man. “Darling.” Tom’s hand comes up to cup your cheek and you have to fight the urge to lean into his touch. “How could I know that? No one wants to tell me a bloody thing.” His voice changes fast at the last sentence, the annoyance creeping in.
“Did you set the fire?” asks Evans.
You roll your eyes. “He doesn’t mean to ask that. But we would like to know if there are any of your acquaintances missing?”
Tom nods. “There’s one I wanted to talk to. Name’s Aaron Taylor-Johnson. Haven’t been able to contact him since last night, and that’s unusual.”
“You think he was in the fire?”
The male shakes his head. “I don’t believe he was there at all, but I do believe he would do this. I got the impression he isn’t quite happy with me, or my decisions lately.”
He’s the snitch.
“We’ll let you know if he was in the fire.” You use your hand to push Tom’s hand away from your face, his touch lingering a little too long to be a play (but you weren’t going to complain.) “I have one other inquiry.”
“Go on.”
You take a deep breath before the words leave your mouth. He should be prepared, considering you told him what was in the evidence bag, but you can’t be sure. “Any girlfriends or women in your life we should know about?”
He smiles (god, that smile). “Other than you, love?”
Smooth. You can practically hear Evans roll his eyes behind you.
“Yes, other than me.”
“Then no. I have a far too busy life to deal with girlfriends,” he says, and winks, “though you shouldn’t hesitate to contact me.” Tom leans in close, his lips grazing your ear and his hand taking yours―something cold grazes your fingers. “I can give you a night you won’t forget.”
You don’t let the hitch in your breath show, and when he places a kiss to your cheek, you only stare at him as he pulls away (and let your hand find comfort in your jacket pocket where you let go of your keys).. “Don’t leave town, Mister Hiddleston.”
“I won’t, darling.”
And then you walk away together with Evans. He keeps glancing behind him, and the confusion is written on his face.
“Just ask,” you say as you reach the car.
Evans opens the door. “How are you not fazed by that?” he asks.
You get into the car and shrug. “Because I don’t let it. He thinks it’s fun to play with me because I don’t have a reaction―” (ehehe, yeah right) “―I think it’s fun to let him. Eventually, something has to slip and we’ll be able to catch him on the spot.”
“But you gotta allow yourself to be harassed to do so?”
You chuckle. “I wouldn’t call it harassment, hon. I call it work.”
Evans frowns as you start the engine and pull out of the parking spot. “What do you mean?”
“Haven’t you noticed? When it comes to sexual harassment, Tom Hiddleston is the least of my worries.”
--
It’s supposed to be a brief stop; get into your apartment, change into something that doesn’t drag attention at a bar on a Thursday night (probably not going to be too crowded anyways), and get out.
But when you walk in through the door, you see a pair of shoes kicked off in the entrance hall. A coat lies draped over your living-room armchair―a coat easily recognizable.
You hurry to close the door, and kick off your own shoes. The trail of clothes leads you further into the apartment. A dress shirt folded together and placed on the cupboard in your living room. Pants lie discarded on the floor in the doorway to your bedroom. And the man who it belongs to, you find tangled in your sheets, buck naked with the exception of the tie around his neck.
“What do you want?” you ask him, an amused smile plastered on your face as you shake your head.
Tom lifts his head a little. A smirk colors his face and he shrugs. “Thought I could surprise you a little, before I have to get going.” He checks the wristwatch on his arm (which you first now noticed he hasn’t taken off either). “But you’ve used quite a lot of time to get here, and now we barely have time for anything.”
You shake your head, smile gone. “Sorry, babe, but I haven’t got the time.”
“What? You have plans for the evening?” There’s a teasing lilt to his voice, but it still slightly hurts seeing as you barely get out of the apartment when you get time off. Really, six months ago was a chance meeting unlike any other.
“I have work.” You move to open your wardrobe. “But if you want, you can help me figure out what to wear.” You turn your head to cast Tom a glance, eyebrow raised.
He turns a little, enough for the sheet that had covered him to fall off and leave him fully exposed. And with just the tie as a piece of clothing, you have to turn back around. God, what that man can do. You grit your teeth as you open the door and file through the few dresses you own, patiently waiting for his response.
“What is it for?” he asks, and his velvet smooth voice does nothing to ease the growing arousal in your gut, not with the image of him and that tie the only thing on your mind.
You swallow before you reply, but you don’t dare turn around. “Gotta talk to the owner of a bar, and don’t wanna drag attention with people there so we agreed to act less like police. Might have to have a drink or two.” You sigh, and close your eyes. “You should have waited with this until then.”
“What?” His voice is in your ear, warm breath fanning your neck. You bite down on your lower lip, hard. “You don’t like it? You’re not enjoying it?” His hands find the hem of your shirt. Fingers graze up along your skin and you find yourself complying when he makes a move to drag it off.
“Tom,” you whisper. You lean into him, into the fingers tracing along your bra and the way his lips ghost over the skin on your shoulder, up your neck. “I don’t―” You shudder as he presses a kiss to your jaw. “Ba― Babe, I don’t have―”
He tips your head back and his lips find yours. Barely touching, you close your eyes, and the image of Tom in bed and you using the tie to drag him to you has you swallow, almost succumbing to the pleasure you know you’ll get. His voice is low when he speaks. “Don’t have what?”
You don’t answer as your hand shoots up to press his head closer to yours, to push your lips together. Everything you can think about is him, your boyfriend, and in a matter of seconds your clothes are off as well, and you sink into the mattress as Tom throws you down on your bed. Your eyes open briefly, to see him study the contours of your body and, even as you do give into Tom and your desire, the haste is still on your mind.
With determination etched into you, you drag him to you with the tie and capture his lips in yours. There is no limit to what this man does to you, and there is no limit to what you let him.
--
With the already extra time you used with Tom, you didn’t have the time to shower. You’d tried your best to fix your hair and do something extra with your make-up, but Tom didn’t have it in him to let you dress and time was wasted.
Evans and Mackie pick you up outside your apartment complex in Evans’s car. As you approach, the two of them lean against it, deep in conversation. They barely notice you coming, but when they do, both give appreciative looks.
“Looking good,” says Mackie, eyes travelling up and down your body. Evans remains quiet, the way his eyes dance over you the only comment you get (and you have to admit, you’re not really complaining.)
You’d opted for something nice, but nothing too much. A skirt that stops mid-thigh, knee high boots with a thick heel, and a slightly revealing shirt. (You’d also opted for a thigh holster so that you could still bring your gun.
“You’re wearing that.” It’s more a statement than a question from the naked man resting on your bed.
You nod, and glance his way. “Problem?”
Tom’s eyes graze over you, hunger evident in them. “I would certainly like to take it off.”
You lift the hem of your skirt, revealing the thigh holster with your gun. “This too?”
“Yes, and right now.”)
In your hand, you have a clutch and you’re also wearing a coat to keep some warmth in the cool evening air. “Shall we go?” you ask.
And the two men both get off from where they’re leaning against the car. Mackie easily offers up the passenger’s seat to you, even though whenever it's him and Evans fighting over it, it’s first come first serve. You smile a thanks and then you’re on your way.
Evans parks a few blocks away from the bar (his expensive Audi with tinted windows certainly drags some attention), and you use the walk there to go through the course of action.
“Mackie’s the cop-cop. He’ll talk to Luke Evans, try something else. We try to talk to some of the people there. Whether that’s as a cop or not, I don’t really care. All we really need is a lead. If anyone sees any of Hiddleston’s associates, please alert the others.”
The two nod. “Sure, but before we go in there, you have to fix your hair.”
You raise your brow at Mackie. “Excuse me?”
“You got sex hair.” He gives you a ‘sorry’ smile and a shrug. “Like, we’re not judging you for having it, but if you’d told us you had a visitor we would’ve waited to come to give you more time.”
“Fuck.” You shake your head and stop. “One, help me fix my hair. Two, I wasn’t planning on it. I was ambushed.” Something that isn’t really that far fetched, it’s not like you knew Tom would be there when you came home.
Evans stops in front of you and asks with his face if he can help, and you nod. His hands move to brush a little through your hair, and fix a little on what probably stands out.
“How could you get ambushed?” asks Mackie.
You roll your eyes. “I got home, there were some clothes lying around, I followed the trail to a naked man in my bed and seeing as it’s the guy I’m currently seeing it wasn’t a bad sight. I tried to tell him I didn’t have the time, but he can be quite persuasive.”
As you talk, Evans tugs a little harshly on your hair and you let out a pained sound. He apologizes, but continues to try and fix your hair.
Mackie shrugs. “How long have you been seeing him?”
You shrug. “Few months.”
“How many months are a few?” asks Evans, his hands letting go of your hair and an approving smile on his face. He steps away to get Mackie’s blessing and the man nods affirmative.
“Uhh, six.”
Both Mackie and Evans stare wide-eyed at you.
“You’ve been dating a dude for six months and not told anyone?!” If you didn’t know better (and you’re not always sure you do), you’d think there was a layer of accusation in Mackie’s voice, but you don’t believe there is.
You shrug and begin to walk again. “What does it matter? It’s not like there’s a need to know about those things.”
“I thought we were friends.” Mackie shakes his head, a small friendly glare sent your way.
“What made you think that?” you ask, but the same friendly feel to your words as there was to his glare. “But can we let it go? I don’t want to talk about my private life.”
Evans nods. “We’re here anyways.”
And you sure are. You look up to see the blinking neon sign of the bar. The bass from the music drifts to where you stand by the door, and with a quick glance inside, you can see it’s fuller than you expected for there to be another work day of the week left. Though you do notice the age of the people; it's possible the college kids don't have class tomorrow, or don’t care.
The three of you make your way inside, gaining a few glances as you step in, but everyone quickly turns back to their own lives. You give a small sign to the two men you came with and move away from them.
It’s easy to step up to the bar, and you easily recognize the bartender as the one who was there when you met Tom. You’re guessing he’s Luke Evans, and you take a breath before you signal him for a drink. Hopefully, you won’t be recognized.
“What can I get you?” he asks.
“A whiskey, thanks.”
He pushes away from the counter, and easily grabs a glass and a bottle and pours. When he puts it down in front of you, his gaze lingers. “Have I seen you before?”
You shake your head. “Has to be somewhere else than here in that case.”
“First time?”
You nod.
“Recommend not drinking a lot. We get some sleazy people in here.”
“I hear you also get crime bosses. This the place to meet the Tom Hiddleston?”
Luke chuckles. “Hon, if you want to meet Tom Hiddleston, I suggest you start being careful what you wish.” He nods to the back of the bar. “Best luck is sitting down in that reserved booth. It’s his usual.”
You cock your head. “He’s coming here today?”
The bartender nods.
“Ain’t I lucky,” you whisper and smile at him. You easily get away from the counter and make your way to the empty booth in the back.
Sure enough, a sign reading reserved is placed on the table. Who it’s reserved for doesn’t say, nor is there a time stamp. You make for sliding into it, but a hand grasps your wrist and pulls you away.
As you fall into the chest of the stranger, you turn your head. The man who you’d seen earlier today is the one holding you back. Up close, you notice bags under his eyes and he reeks of alcohol. You pull away from his grip and raise a brow his way.
“I wouldn’t sit down there if I were you,” he says, and slides into the same booth he had earlier.
“Why?”
He shakes his head. “Tom Hiddleston isn’t a man to mess with.”
“And how do you know so much about Tom Hiddleston?”
The man pats the seat next to him. “Sit and I’ll tell you.”
You hesitate, but eventually slide in. You leave room between yourself and the stranger. If anything were to happen, you do have a gun.
“You got any relation to Hiddleston?” you ask (you have to admit, no matter how much you want your boyfriend not to be caught, you wish you knew more about what he did do).
“Name’s Aaron.” The snitch.
You motion for him to go on.
“I was hired by him three months ago. He felt the cops were gaining and wanted something, or someone to try and put a stopper to it.”
“So, Tom Hiddleston hired you to snitch on the cops?” You want to laugh, seeing as you snitch enough for Tom to never know exactly what you know, but enough to cover his tracks.
Aaron shakes his head. “He hired me to snitch on a cop. A specific one.”
You frown, sure if he was hired to snitch on you you’d know and he would have recognized you. Perhaps he had.
“The cop’s here today.” Aaron’s gaze travels into the crowd of people in the bar. You see where he looks. Evans. “His name is Chris Evans.”
“Why did he want you to spy on him?”
Aaron shrugs. “He never said. And eventually, I got sick of it. The guy’s obviously not a threat to Hiddleston and his business. Y/N Y/L/N is, but it’s impossible to find out anything about her. Don’t even know what she looks like.”
You try not to let it show that you flinched at the mention of your own name. And you find it weird that he can’t find anything on you. Tom did so, easily. But there’s no need to dwell on that. You glance at Aaron again, unsure how to ask.
“You say you got sick of it. What did you do? Just stop doing his bidding, or something else?”
A smile colors Aaron’s face. “Snitched to the cops. Left a message. Anonymous, but I gave them a way to contact me for more information.” He shakes his head. “Got contacted today, but never replied. But I saw you here this morning, talking to the bartender.”
You cock your head. That could be an easy way to draw the connection to you as a cop, not necessarily as Y/N Y/L/N, but you had been seen with Mackie, and usually Mackie and Evans were seen with each other.
“I have a proposition for you,” he says. “One that means getting close to Hiddleston, and that includes spying on him. Mics, cameras, whatever. I need him in jail.”
“I’m gonna have to say no. I was just hoping for a night, a friend of mine told me he was real good in bed.” You shrug. “But if you have angered him, I got told by the bartender that Hiddleston comes in today.”
Aaron smiles. “You’ll have to excuse me, then. I hope you don’t anger him with only the intention of a one night stand. Based on how you look, I’m pretty sure you’re his type.” The male slides out of the booth, downs his drink in one go, and waves goodbye. You watch as he moves to the restrooms, and you roll your eyes when he winks.
[10.47] you
snitch is alive, in the restrooms
hiddlestons supposed to come in today
[10.48] evans
no snitch in the restrooms, window’s open tho
guessing it was the guy that slipped past me just now
[10.48] you
guess so
mackie u got anything from the bartender
[10.50] mackie
that hiddlestons coming in
that their deal is just renting of the venue from time to time
[10.50] you
well just have to do the best of it then
im sitting in his booth so if he comes hell notice
[10.51] evans
sure thats a good idea??
[10.51] you
would very much like to know why he put someone to spy on you evans
snitch was hired to keep tabs, got annoyed he wasnt keeping tabs on me
[10.51] mackie
dam i wanna know that too
be careful
You look up and meet the gazes of your coworkers. Evans looks uncomfortable, worried almost, judging by the crease between his brows. Mackie gives you a look of understanding and a pair of thumbs up.
You down your drink, try to cover the hiss as pain sears down your throat, and make to sit down in Tom’s booth. On the way in, you knock over the reserved sign, making it fall to the floor. Now, it’ll look like you didn’t know.
[10.57] mackie
Incoming
The front door opens slowly. Heads turn to look who comes through, and unlike when you arrived with Mackie and Evans, everyone’s eyes stay on the man who weaves his way through the crowd.
Tom stops by the bar, has a small chat with the bartender and turns his head to look your way. A smirk grazes his lips as your eyes lock, but he quickly turns back to the man he was talking to.
You swallow. You have to steady your beating heart, have to shove the thought of the night’s previous events to the back of your mind, and kill the deep swirling feeling in your gut at the sight of Tom in that blue fucking suit. God, if there was something Tom Hiddleston was made to do it’s wearing suits.
The blue color suits his very being. It’s tailored to fit him perfectly; long legs encased in blue fabric that shows off his bum, suit jacket that fits his shoulders and back in a way that has you swallow. You can see his broad shoulders and some of the tightness that drags at his muscled arms. What you can’t wait to see, is how well the shirt underneath fits him. You simply can’t wait for him to pull off the jacket.
Thankfully, you don’t have to wait very long. With two drinks in hand he makes his way up to where you sit. He doesn’t say anything as he places them on the table, nor does he say anything when he pulls up the reserved sign from where it lies on the floor. He places it back on the table, eyes you warily, and sides into the booth.
Long arms grasp for the drinks. He pulls them in and pushes one to you. “Can you drink, darling? You’re working, right?”
You take the glass and swirl the liquid around inside it. “I can, actually.” And you take a sip. “But I won’t drink a lot.”
Tom moves closer to you, knocking his thigh against yours. You take a deep breath at the touch, the only one you can return―Tom flirting with you whilst you work is no news, but it would be quite different if you did the same. “Have you been waiting long, darling?”
“No, I haven’t. I managed to preoccupy myself.”
“Oh, can I hear?”
You shake your head. “What good would you have of that?” you ask. When you get a shrug in return, you roll your eyes and take another sip of the whiskey. “I have a question for you, though.”
Tom cocks a brow.
“Why did you need someone to spy on Evans?”
Your heart beats fast as Tom moves even closer, lips coming up to ghost across your cheek. You can see that the two in the crowd of people keeping a close eye on you flinch, but you don’t make a gesture to show any discomfort. “Have you not noticed, love?”
You push him away by placing a hand on his chest. “Noticed what?” You try to pull your hand back but Tom places his over yours and keeps your touch on him. A small hint of the love he usually offers you shows through the blue of his eyes.
“The man likes you, darling. A little too much. Can’t have another man try anything with my woman.” Tom’s gaze flickers out to the crowd, and as you follow it, you see how it lands on Evans and how your coworker squirms. “Now, if only I could show him.”
“Tom,” you say, voice bordering on affectionate. His eyes flicker to you in surprise; he’s only ever been Hiddleston in public. “There’s nothing to worry about, and if you try anything, anything at all, you will have a gun to your head.”
Tom chuckles. “Are you threatening me?”
“You know where the gun is.” And the hand that travels up and under your skirt, grazing by the thigh holster, has you swallow. You take a deep breath as his hand travels a little further, and the only way to stop him is to grab his hand. “I didn’t say you could check.” You push at him a little, creating more distance between you two (even though you would like to sit close to him).
“I didn’t think I needed permission, love.” He smirks and you shake your head.
You smile innocently at him. “Usually you don’t.” You go to slide out of the booth. “Bye, Hiddleston.”
Tom grabs your arm and pulls you back to his chest. “Have you really made that big a dent in the case of the Blue Sweater?” he whispers in your ear. You writhe in his grasp, but a firm hand turns your head to him and his face draws closer to yours. “Tell me what I need to do to have the lead again, darling. I’ll do anything.”
And you can’t stop the sound of surprise that escapes you when Tom presses a chaste kiss to your lips. The surprise is so big you only stare wide-eyed at him, not able to kiss him back (and good is that seeing as you’re in public), and when he pulls back, you push away from him and shake your head.
“You’re an idiot,” you say (no teasing or play in your voice), and then you walk away. You rush out of the bar, feel Evans’s and Mackie’s eyes on you, and when you get out of the front door you lean against the wall. Your heart hammers in your chest. You’re panting, and you can feel the rush of adrenaline making its way through your body.
You may like to play with fire, letting him flirt and show affection in public, but you wouldn’t ever go this far. You wouldn’t ever think he’d even risk it.
“Are you okay?” comes a voice from next to you. Evans and Mackie have made it outside, and you push off the wall to start walking to the car.
“We’re not talking about it,” you say.
Neither of them make a move to say more, and you can hear them follow after you. Tom might be the worst person in history to be in a secret relationship with. Or maybe the best. You haven’t decided yet.
--
It’s no surprise to see the people surrounding your desk when you get to work. Your two usual pests sit at their own, and though not a part of the group waiting for you, they shoot you glances as you sit down.
You try not to glare at the group, but when they all just quietly stare at you, the anger bubbles. “What?” you ask.
A small murmur goes through them, until your impatient glare becomes too much and one voice squeaks out, “did Tom Hiddleston kiss you?”
He has more than once, you think.
You don’t reply, only giving them an unamused look in return. They quickly scatter, and you can hear the chatter that bubbles up amongst them.
Not only do you not have the patience for stupid pestering (and annoyance at Evans and Mackie for spreading the word), but your morning was the worst in a while. It’s almost become a usual for Tom to sleep over, whether because he falls asleep after sex or if he just wants to cuddle, but when you came home yesterday, there was no Tom.
And no Tom means no morning cuddles, or a goodbye kiss as you leave out the door. On top of that, he hasn’t texted either. No saying why he didn’t show. No explaining why he risked a kiss in public.
A text you did get in the morning, was a journalist asking for an interview. Especially interesting was the lack of respect for an ongoing investigation, and the bold way to ask whether or not you were secretly helping Tom not get caught (you want to know how they would even guess it. That’s a pretty bold assumption to make about the lead detective on a case).
Tired, you rest your elbow on the desk and lay your head in your hand. You massage your forehead slightly, and there’s no mistaking the groan that leaves your lips as your thoughts swirl.
A knock on your desk pulls you out of it. You look up to see Mackie leaning against it. “You okay?” he asks.
You shake your head. “It doesn’t matter. We gotta talk about what information we got, though. But I don’t trust… I don’t want to talk out here, so, briefing room in five minutes. I don’t know if Evans heard, but make sure he did.”
Mackie scrunches his nose slightly and presses his lips together.
“What’s wrong?”
“Briefing room’s occupied.”
You curse under your breath and shake your head. “We got a meeting room, that occupied?”
Mackie shakes his head. “Not that I know.”
“We’ll meet there.” And as he gives you a thumbs up, you get up from your desk and move to the captain’s office. With a knock and a mumbled ‘come in’ you walk into the room and close the door behind you.
Cheadle looks up at you. “I heard what happened.”
You nod. “Yeah, but there’s something else I’m here about.”
He quirks a brow. “Oh? Important?”
You pull out your phone, ignore the new message you’ve gotten and find the text from the journalist. You hand the captain your phone. “Got this this morning. I want to know how they got my number, what made them think I’m colluding with the guy I’m trying to catch, and what the hell made them believe I’d ever talk to a news source about an open investigation.”
“That is weird.” Captain Cheadle hands you back your phone (just in time, too, because a message chimes in from twh). “When you have time, come back in here. I know you’re gonna talk to the guys now, but I’d like for it to be soon. And check if they haven’t gotten the same one.”
“Yes, sir.” You sigh and walk out again. You head for the meeting room and on your way you pull open your text thread with Tom.
[08.18] twh
darling we need to talk
i think i have some information you’d like to have
[08.23] you
gonna talk about smth else too or just your problem??
[08.23] twh
im sorry, darling, i got caught up in work
we can talk about both
tell me when you have time and ill show up at your flat
[08.23] you
tonight, 8
The reply goes by you as you open the door to the meeting room. Evans and Mackie already sit down, Evans with papers in front of him and Mackie with his phone out on the table. You frown, but sit down across from them.
“I don’t know who wants to start.” You look between the two men, and when neither say anything, you shrug. “Guess I’ll go then.” You take a deep breath. “Our snitch’s name is Aaron Taylor-Johnson, the man Hiddleston mentioned yesterday when we questioned him about the fire. He isn’t dead because he was in the bar. He says he was hired a few months ago to keep tabs on Evans, but he got sick of it because, according to him, you’re not the threat. On the other hand, I am, but he didn’t know he was talking to me.”
“Did you find out why Hiddleston got him to spy on Evans?” asks Mackie.
You shake your head. “Hiddleston didn’t answer that. Snitch didn’t know himself, but he said he tried to keep tabs on me, too, only he couldn’t. He didn’t have anything to go on, no information, no way to know what I look like. And I find that interesting. Why would Hiddleston go out of his way to make sure they couldn’t do anything to make me a culprit or anything?”
“Maybe because Hiddleston has the biggest crush on you?” asks Evans, and there’s no mistaking the hint of spite in his voice as he says so. “Or, he finds you that big enough a threat he can’t have his guys going around doing stuff to hinder you because you’re smart enough to be able to connect it to him?”
“I hope the last,” you mumble. “But there was definitely something he wasn’t telling me. He seemed to know more than he let on, but I couldn’t push like I usually do because then he’d know. I want to see if we can contact him again, because he knew we tried yesterday without luck.”
“We’ll try, but I don’t think we’re gonna get much either.” Evans nods, and all three of you let out sighs.
You motion for them to start talking instead. Evans slides you a piece of paper. Not much is on it, but the words are clear. You look up at him.
“There were some regulars there that have witnessed Hiddleston many times. The man I talked to said that.” Evans coughs. “‘He’s always alone, at least when he sits, but he leaves with men. Never has a girl around him unless they come up to him, hasn’t had one in a long time. Only once did he leave with one. She was pretty, looked rather intimidating, actually. Don’t think it lasted.’ The man also went on to ramble about how after that, Hiddleston hasn’t been seen with a girl. Well, before you.”
“So he has left with a girl once.” Mackie confirms. “Luke Evans said the same thing. A pretty little thing that edged in on the man unlike no one he’d seen before, and that surprisingly got to leave with him. He’s never seen the woman again, and he found that odd. He doesn’t believe Hiddleston’s got someone in his life, though.”
You bite your lower lip. “Well, that is something. Any descriptions?”
Both shake their heads.
“There is one thing I noted, though,” says Mackie. “If Hiddleston does have someone he likes, is with, whatever. He so openly flirts with you that that woman has got to be furious, and he probably wouldn’t have kissed you either. I think the wristband was sent to him, not from him.”
You nod. “I believe you’re right there.” You know he’s right, but that’s details you’re not sharing. “But I have something more interesting.” You fish your phone out of your pocket (ignore the new messages from Tom) and open up the one you got this morning.
“What’s going on?” asks Evans as you place your phone in front of them on the table. They read over the text and cast eyes up to you. Something in the look both send, they’ve seen something similar before.
“Got it this morning.” You snatch your phone back, seeing the almost pop-up about a new text and not risking who it’s from. “I need to know who believes I’m colluding with the enemy.”
Mackie nods as he opens up his own phone and slides it across to you. “We got the same text, though slightly altered. They’re asking if we know anything about you colluding with Hiddleston.”
[06.53] unkown
Hi, I’m a reporter from New York Times.
I was wondering if there would be released more information pertaining to the Hiddleston case, and what you know about Hiddleston and Detective Y/L/N’s relationship to the man. I heard last night that they kissed, and maybe the reason you haven’t caught him yet is something entirely else than him being good at what he does.
“Fucking hell,” you mutter. You slide Mackie’s phone back to him and let out a loud sigh.
Things are not looking very bright.
--
A/N: thats what i have. if you want to, reblog this with a continuation, but please dont steal any of this and act like it’s your own. i worked a lot on this when i still had motivaton but i wanted to at least share it even if i wont finish it, to which im deeply sorry
would always want to know what you guys think...
#tom hiddleston#tom hiddleston x reader#tom hiddleston fanfic#tom hiddleston fanfiction#fanfic#fanfiction#twh#thomas william hiddleston#reader insert#x reader#unfinished#tom hiddleston imagine#imagine
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jason had just settled onto his couch with a jane austen novel and his favourite peach iced tea when damian crept in through his window. he sighed internally and decided to simply ignore him. he had told damian to use the front door (nevermind the fact that jason rarely used the door) and more importantly? he was freaking comfortable. after a few minutes as jason flipped idly through the book, damian cleared his throat. jason sighed again, outwardly this time and reluctantly dragged his eyes up to his youngest brother. baby bat was shivering slightly from the rain outside and jason simply rasied an eyebrow as he sipped at his tea. scowling, dami stomped over to jasons bathroom to dry off. he rolled his eyes. how dramatic. damian was acting like he sentenced titus and alfred the cat to their deaths instead of how he was actually saving jason from deep cleaning his rain soaked carpet. (he was still going to deep clean the carpet the next time he tidied up but still)
when damian stalked back into the room, looking less like a wet, angry kitten and more like a dry, angry kitten, jason titled his head back and established eye contact.
"so what brings you over to my neck of the woods, demon spawn?"
instead of snapping back like jason expected, damian simply stood there looking extremely uncomfortable. he shuffled his feet, opened his mouth then closed it and sat next to jason on the couch he splurged way too much on.
"i don't know how to tell you this" dami began, hesitant "but i believe harper is experiencing thoughts of suicide"
jason jerked up, almost knocking over his tea (and what a damn waste that would be) before fixing damian with a look. he hadnt noticed anything different in roy lately but he knew more than anyone that depression acted strangely and was hard to pinpoint. his mind raced with thoughts of why roy might be suddenly suicidal, from a sudden relapse to not getting a happy meal toy included in his 3.99 box of clogged arteries. "why do you say that, damian?"
"i have been keeping an eye on his health since he became a close confidant to you and last night he said something worrying that i am still not able to parse the meaning of" jason smiled lightly at that, in damian speak he was basically declaring that he cared for roy- if for nothing else than for how happy he made jason. still he shook it off and asked what roy had said that was worrying dami.
"he was patrolling last night" jason knew that. roy had been picking up his patrols since jason had a nasty leg wound. it was the reason he wasn't out tonight. "and he was on the phone with an unknown person, though i am inclined to believe it was either Starfire or Canary" okay, still not surprising "and then he said that the only place he could die happy was between your thighs" oh hello blue screen. yes jasons mind was in the middle of rebooting but could you hurry it along? he almost missed what damian said next. "not only does he wish for death upon himself, he wishes for you to give it to him!"
"damian" jason managed, frantically trying to figure out a way to explain to his baby brother without including his sex life. "uhh its just an expression"
damians face brightened up slightly. "really? he does not wish to smother himself between your thighs?"
"yeah, its like...like just a way to say... mind your business? mmhmm" he struggled to get out, pulling an explanation out of his ass.
"you have told father to mind his business a thousand times but i dont recal you ever using that one. is it new?"
oh god. jason would rather die again than continue this conversation.
"uhh its only used if you're close to someone" jason didnt know what he didnt wrong but dami's eyes widened in clear worry. "i thought you and father were reconnecting? has something happened? are you fighting again?"
well shit. jason had not thought this one through. fuck roy and fuck his mile wide kink that centered around jasons thighs. he was going to kill him. and he wouldnt even use his thighs. "oh nonono dami we're fine, just not as close as me and roy" he hedged, pleading to gods he didnt believe in to stop this conversation with whatever means necessary. strike him dead if need be but *please*. damians eyes narrowed "and exactly how close are you with harper, jason?" jason stared in disbelief. how had his nice relaxing evening turned into such a shitshow? damian was fine with roy when he and jason were just friends but now that he was (correctly) assuming a relationship, his over protective instincts were kicking in? christ. he remembered how when dick and babs finally started dating (again), damian seemingly lost all respect for her and called her an evil harlot more than once.
thankfully he was saved by answering in the form of the best person jason had ever met aka duke thomas. he announced his presence by awkwardly coughing. jason met his dark eyes and mouthed 'help me' over damians head. duke smiled as if it was getting pulled out of him by torture but nodded.
"hey dames, dick wanted you to join him by the docks when you finished up here" damian scowled "cant you see i am clearly not finished yet"
"hah, well dick was facing up against scarecrow and i think he needed some back up but you know him"
"yes, he wont admit he needs help when he very clearly does" damian sighed "very well, ill go check on dick. you stay and question jason. " and with that damian clambered out the window and after he disappeared from sight, jason threw his head back to stare at his ceiling and groaned. duke laughed at him.
"hey daisy duke?" duke grumbled at the nickname and jason cracked a smile "how did you know i needed back up?" duke winced and ran a hand over his dreads. he made a face and jasons soul was slowly draining out of his body. "oh haha funny story" duke rocked back on his feet and faked laughed "damians com was still connected to the channel" jason froze.
"who was on the channel oh my god" duke smiled thinly and his hand paused on his head. "other than me? everyone." jason buried his head in his hands and let out a high pitched whine. duke consolingly rubbed his shoulder. this is why jason loved him. he hadn't even laughed at jason like tim, dick or steph would or started plotting death like damian started to. he and cass would just offer support. jasons favorite brother and sister right here folks. duke sat down beside him
"listen. i know what it's like to be outed when youre not ready and when i heard damian grilling you about roy, i thought i would help" jason turned and stared at his brother. duke was staring at his hands and avoiding eye contact. "i got caught with a boy when i was 15 in high school. its pretty shitty to be gay and poor in a homophobic neighbourhood but its worse to be gay, poor and black." jason knocked shoulders with him. "if you tell me the name of whatever asshat outed you, I'll shoot him for you." duke let out a waterly laugh. "they kept bullying me for being gay but if they even listened, they would have realised that im pan" he joked "its a completely different thing after all". jason snorted
"that was horrible"
duke winced "yeah, it was wasnt it. im bad at this" it was jasons turn to avoid eye contact now.
"talia once caught me with a league operative. a male operative. i was so paranoid for days until i caught shiva leaving her rooms. i got the courage to tell her i was bi and she just patted my cheek and asked how my training was going."
duke huffed out a laugh. "bruce gives you shit but i for one think your lesbians moms are cool"
jason laughed with him "just wait until you meet Ducra. shes a badass"
"ducra?" he questioned with a weird look. "how many moms do you actually have? i knew about diana and your assassin moms but thats a new name" jason burst into laughter at the expression on dukes face. "its not fair man. steph is the only other one with a mom and you have four! you need to share" jason choked on his laughter and shoved duke.
"first of all, its only *three*. ducra is like my badass abuela"
"dont you already have a badass grandma? have you forgotten about Ma Gunn? she threatened to shoot bruce in the dick last week!"
"yes well excuse you i need strong female role models in my life, fuck you" the two of them continued to joke around for a little while longer before jason caught a flash of black kelvar outside his window and sighed. duke followed his eyes and smiled before patting jasons shoulder and pushing off. "have fun with the one strong male role model in your life. im going to see if cass needs help" both of them knew that cass wouldn't need help but jason accepted the excuse for what it was. "me and steph are still coming over to study tomorrow. college is kicking my ass and i need you to explain this English assignment to me"
jason scoffed "im not writing your essay for you"
"eh worth a try. bye jace" duke gave a two fingered salute and slipped out the window. jason took the brief reprieve to sip his tea and mourned when he discovered the ice had melted and watered down the peach taste. for the third time that night, someone crept into his window. oh well. third times the charm right? jason wasn't going to acknowledge bruce until he said something himself. it was a repeat of damian. jasom read his book as it got increasingly uncomfortable.
"jason."
"bruce" jason drawled, not lifting his eyes from his book. bruce grunted like the neanderthal he was and jason finally huffed out a heaving breath before marking his page and looking up. bruce looked supremely uncomfortable. actually his face looked exceedingly neutral but jason knew how to read bruce and that was the brow furrow of how do i deal with jason without fucking it up? jason was well famailairsed with that one.
"you know i love you" jasons own eyebrows rose. bruce only said 'i love you' like four times a year tops. and he usually never wasted it on jason. bruce deflated at whatever face jason must have made. goddamn it. this was why jason always fought with bruce with his helmet on, he couldnt control his facial expressions for shit. "no you dont know that." bruce smiled thinly and to jasons suprise, quickly crossed the room and knelt, placing his hands on jasons shoulders.
"even if you dont believe it, and its my own fault that you do and i hate that i ever caused you to even doubt my love for you, i swear that i do, jay lad" jason was completely frozen. he had expected bruce to yell at him for letting roy go unchecked on patrol last night and how irresponsible he was yada yada, not this declaration of feelings that he had no clue how to deal with. he couldnt remember the last time bruce called him that. it had to have been when he was still in those scaly green panties and pixie boots. and not the adult verison that jason picked up from a halloween store on a whim just to see roys eyes.
bruce sighed and drew jason into a hug. when bruces shoulder started getting wet, jason was horrified to realise he was crying. "i wanted you to know that i wouldnt love you any less for loving a man. but you have to know that i love you in the first place for that to happen" bruce said self deprecating.
"shut the fuck up" jason said sniffling and gripping his dads back. "i hate you"
bruce laughed softly at him before pressing a kiss to the side of jasons head. "i want you to know that i expect roy-and you- over at dinner on sunday. i need to meet the man that stole my babys heart" he murmured. jason laughed wetly "youve already met roy, you just want to con me into actually coming to family dinner"
bruce smiled "that was before i knew you two were dating. roy needs to know what hes getting into" jason leaned back enough to stare into bruces eyes and weakly punched him in the chest "dont threaten my boyfriend. he refused to look at me for two weeks after t was done with him" bruce sighed longingly "its times like this when i remember what caused me to love talia in the first place."
"bruce!" the aforementioned man laughed and hugged jason tightly before stepping back a few steps. "Sunday dinner. you and roy. 8 pm." on a whim jason reached out and snagged bruces hand. "hey" he started, swallowing "you wanna stay for a while? we could watch a movie or something" bruces eyes softened and he nodded. "let me change out of the suit."
and if roy had crept in after patrol only to see jason napping on his dads chest to a shitty action movie playing in the background and took several pictures, well that bruces fault for not waking up when roy stumbled it. (nevermind the fact that bruce had every single one of those pictures saved on his phone) (nevermind the fact that after roy put his phone away, he was greeted to the sight of batman glaring at him as he twisted a batarang around his fingers. it was sorta ruined by the fact that jasons curls was hiding the lower half of his face but roy was still adequately terrified)
#jason todd#roy harper#jayroy#jayroyweekend2020#jayroyweekend#day 2: pride#bruce wayne#damian wayne#duke thomas#this is self indulgent#this is self care#bruce is trying his hardest#and he is succeeding#i was listening to about love by marina and the diamonds#its so jayroy#its not mentioned but diana took jason to his first pride as robin#bc he told her and only her#talia and shiva took jason to his first pride after he was resurrected#damian will cut someone if they think dirty thoughts about his brothers#once he learns what dirty thoughts are#but kon is next#jason looks up to 20 female figures and only one male figure (its bruce)#(dont tell him)
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I'm fairly confused about this entire situation, honestly. I saw the original girl comment about whether or not she was entirely sure to feel comfortable on a page meant to do that exact thing. In my opinion (which is fairly confused atm), you were both in the wrong. Of course, you don't have to answer anything about your gender or whether or not you have certain body parts, I can definitely understand that! But the extra meanness was a bit uncalled for. They just didn't want to feel unsafe :/
Also, everyone deals with pain differently. Whether or not if it's something that seems a bit pushy or not. I feel for both sides of this weird miscommunication, I really do. I guess that's just my inner-understanding lol. So yeah, I feel for you! I know what it feels like to go through things that annoy you and cause disruption amongst your inner self, but my heart also goes out to the girl that was painted as a transphobe when all she wanted to do was feel was safe.
P.S, this was absolutely not coming from a place of anger! It is your choice whether to insult me or realize that people have different opinions; I will understand if either one is chosen! I wish you well, and if the girl is also reading this, I wish you well too and I really do hope that you get closure and understanding because I've also gone through something similar to what you have. It's so painful, but stay strong and you'll be able to say that you came out of it alive :)
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First off, I want you to know that the anger in the response is not directed at you the asker of this question. but at the person from last night. second, I’m probably not going to respond to any more asks on this topic, because I'm tired.
okay so let me put it this way for you. you would not under any circumstances pull down Anyone's pants to check their genitals in public. right? or demand that they pull down their pants for you and expose themselves in a public way just so that you can make sure they don’t have a penis.
The fact of the matter is that someone else's genitals are none of yours nor anyone else's business. And asking about this is not only violating and transphobic but also inappropriate. (I shouldn’t have to clarify that this is transphobic at this point. before you want to argue that- do your research, google is free).
what you seem to misunderstand is that transphobia is an act of aggression. to be transphobic is to cause trauma, to trigger, to be violent. this person asking me about my genitals was an act of violence. and I responded like it was one- with meanness that was called for because I felt hurt. because what they said was hurtful.
as someone who has never felt safe in my entire life, both because of abuse, rape, and my identity- that doesn't give me a right to threaten someone elces safety because my safety demands it. each and all traumas are valid, and just because they wanted to feel safe on my page doesn't give them a right to take away my safety. especially because this is my page and my safe space that I have created with hours of uncompensated work. So no- they don't have a right to take away my safety and security for their own.
asking on anon is also a little sus, they didn’t reach out through dm- which is how all things of a personal nature should be. they knew there was a possibility I would take it wrong and didn’t want to be blocked from my page. they feel entitled to my work and entitled to my body in the same way. i wont apologize for trying to preserve this page, and I won’t apologize for acting for matching their level of meanness.
when you have trauma there are so many things that are triggering for other people that aren’t triggering for you. The real world doesn't come with specific trigger warnings and you have to eventually come to that conclusion with trauma, you will be triggered for no reason at one point, and its a sad fact but it will happen.
for example- one of my triggers is piano music. to this day I can’t watch my favorite idol play piano because it is too much of a trigger to me.
But I would NEVER insinuate that min yoongi needed to stop playing piano music just because at one point in my life my stalker would blast piano music outside my bedroom window at 3 am to keep me from sleeping for weeks at a time. or because I was constantly sleep deprived growing up because he wouldn’t let me sleep- my triggers and my reality are irrelevant to min yoongi enjoying the thing he enjoys, just like that person’s trauma is irrelevant to my own. It would be mean and uncalled for me to demand he stops doing something he loves just because it's a trigger for me. People will exist outside of your trauma and that's okay.
(tw; rape) I’ve been rapped by three men in my life. One was a frat boy in college who I woke up to telling me my hole was bleeding and wanted me to leave because I was getting it all over his sheets. another was a old man, it happened when I was so little that I barely remember it and honestly, all I remember is how much it hurt and how dirty his hands were, he had a lot of dirt under his nails and I remember thinking ‘i don't think that should go inside me’ as a fucking 5-year-old
And the third, was three years ago when an American gi rapped me in hongdae, South Korea, I met him at a bar called mikes cabin. I wasn’t a perfect victim, i’d just had a fight with my soulmate and I went out looking for trouble and I found it. but after I changed my mind he didn’t care, he shoved his dick in my ass without my consent. I bled all over his sheets too. choked on the blood coming out my nose after he slapped me. i remember he shoved his phone in my face to take pictures. somewhere out there there are pictures of me getting raped and I don’t even know where they are or how many people have seen them.
I don't even know his name only that he had a rose tattoo over his heart. my deadnames middle name is rose. My mom calls me ‘rosebud’ or ‘rosie’ more than my dead name. is it a trigger for me? yes. it is. of course, it is. how could it not be?
I’ve been raped. i know what they’ve gone through, I know where their pain comes from but my pain is valid too. my genitals could be a trigger to that anon, but defining them in a binary of woman and man is a trigger for me. I am a person and they are a person and both of our triggers are equally valid. but this is my place. this is my expression.
so why did I act meanly? first off. they violated me by asking me invasive questions and demanded a response. and then secondly; when I asked them not to and told them no- they invalidated my consent and my trauma. then thirdly- they misgendered me- fully committing to being a transphobe. that's why I was mean- because they were mean first.
this is the only time I’ll explain why I was justified. I hope they get closure too- but their closure isn’t going to come from violence against me or any other trans person. one day that person is probably going to meet a trans woman, and I hope they know better than to call them a boy just because they have a penis. trans people aren’t your punching bags for your trauma.
trauma doesn't give you the excuse to be a transphobe, no matter what happened to you. you have to learn to treat others with dignity and respect no matter their gender identity or how they trigger you. Because people can’t control what parts of themselves are triggering to you.
This is the last I’ll talk about this. I'm gonna delete all the other asks asking me about this. I’m not going to talk about it anymore. if you can’t understand why what they did was bad, get off my page. I don’t want you here.
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