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#i will listen no matter how much you talk
a-b-riddle · 19 hours
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Not me imagining medic reader who acts weird around Ghost.
At first everyone thinks that you’re just weirded out. 6’4 wall of a man in a skull mask. His eyes covered in black makeup and eyes such a deep brown they’re almost black. Anyone in their right mind would be on edge.
But then as time progresses it doesn’t stop. You don’t ease up no matter how many times you’ve been around Ghost. Eventually the 141 begins to suspect something much more sinister.
Theories of knowing something about Ghost you shouldn’t. Are you working for Makarov and worried? Your eyes never leave him anytime he enters a room. Your voice wavering anytime he asks you a question. You’re not like that with the others. You’re hiding something. And they know it.
Johnny is the one you’ve gotten closest to in the 141. The one who wants to believe you’re not a traitor. You’re Birdie for Christ’s sake. Their bird, as they call you. You couldn’t be betraying them. He’s able to convince the guys to let him get you drunk. See if you slip up.
It’s a quiet night on base. Johnny had manage to get flavored vodka imported. Enticing you to come have a drink in his barracks.
And boy, do you.
You get too tipsy to notice how off Johnny seems. How his voice is softer, more alluring. You also down notice the phone face down on the table, serving as a live walkie-talkie between him and the others listening in Price’s office.
Johnny and you bullshit around. Talking about F1 racing, the need for more help in the medbay and even what your plans are when you get back home.
Eventually, he can’t take it anymore. He needs to know.
“What’s your deal with the Simon?” He finally asks. His question grants you pause, almost instantly sobering you up. Johnny sees it in your eyes. His heart breaking because he begins to believe he was wrong.
“Hen,” his hand grabs yours, when you don’t say anything. “I know something is going on.” You try and pull away but he doesn’t let go.
“Have-” you begin, trying to figure out how to tell him. Johnny is your friend. He wouldn’t care. But you fail to come up with the words. “Fuck.”
“Please.” He begs. “You know you can tell me.” You wait. Contemplating if you should tell him. But then it could mean losing any respect you had earned with them.
“You can’t judge me.” You made him promise, tears beginning to well in your eyes.
“I won’t.” He promises, offering a squeeze of reassurance. He knew that the moment you confessed to whatever it was you were hiding, the team would be in there. He knew what would happen to you. And although there were no romantic feelings he held toward you, he still cared.
You took a deep breath.
“It’s the mask.” You confessed. “It’s hot.” Now it was Johnny’s turn to pause.
The mask?
“What?” He asked in disbelief, pulling his hand off of yours. “What do you mean it’s hot?” “You’re worried that he’s sweating underneath it.”
“I want to fuck him.” It felt like a weight lifted the moment your confession of lust escaped your lips.
Johnny sat there, knowing his Captain, fellow Sergeant and, most importantly, his Lieutenant were listening on the other end of the phone.
“Simon.” he clarified. “Ye want to fuck Simon.”
“I mean if he keeps the mask on.” You shrug, looking at his bewildered expression. “It’s a kink, Johnny. Some people like feet or being led around on a dog leash.” You down the rest of the sweetened liquor, cringing as the last sip makes your stomach flip. “Men in masks do it for me. It’s a thing now. Lots of women like it.”
He doesn’t say anything. The room filled with uncomfortable silence until he breaks out in laughter.
“If you say anything, I will murder you and we both know I can make it look like an accident.” You threaten.
“Feckin’ hell.” He sighs, wiping tears from his eyes. “This isn’t how I expected the conversation to go.”
“Well,” you say standing, needing a moment to get your bearings. “It’s also over. I’m calling it a night.”
“I’ll walk ye back to yer room.” He says standing.
“No need.” You wave off. “I’m good.”
He knows you’re right. But now guilt eats away at him for even thinking you were a traitor. So he lets you go, listening to the sound of your footsteps fading as you walk down the empty corridor.
Several minutes later the others join him in his barracks. None of them saying something until, Johnny looks at Simon.
“Looks like the little Bird has a thing for you, Lt.”
Simon rolls his eyes.
Thankful that his mask is hiding his shit eating grin.
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shegetsburned · 3 days
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❝ a man of honor ❞ w. kento nanami 𝜗𝜚.
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.nsfw.
• — dearest reader. this author finds herself bearing the most curious of news, for it isn’t without surprise that the viscount nanami has caused ruckus amongst the young ladies of the ton, upon his arrival. gracing us with his presence, he has not yet announced himself eligible for this social season and, i believe, does not intend to do so. but doesn’t love find itself in the most peculiar of places when one least expects it? • — a/n. let’s just say that bridgerton has, yet again, a hold on me, also, i am in no way an historian nor a perfect writer but i do hope y’all can enjoy this different little piece.
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˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami who, despite himself, had found the need to return to london for a matter of affair and is set on departing as unbothered by the social season as he was when he first arrived.
˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami who has never taken his social standing lightly and knows he’ll be the object of many desires considering his status as a seven and twenty years old unmarried man. described as a man of honour, suited for the finest lady, but buried in his work and duties.
˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami who attends most balls, making quick appearances here and there and avoiding hungry mamas at all costs, partially hiding in the gardens or engaging in business conversations with other suitors, always eager to return to his chamber. that was until he found the most beautiful excuse to not participate in any courting competition and declare himself ineligible to the ton. you.
˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami who had found you hiding in the very same place he was, that night. a very debutante, who didn’t feel yet a need to marry. you had approached him in need of advice, not in need of a husband. you knew who he was but had no intention nor expectation for any kind of courteous exchange. you just wanted to know how he was successfully avoiding many of his greatest admirers without breaking a sweat.
˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami who did not give much thought to the both of you talking at first, it was easy and the conversation never felt forced. you did feel like a breath of fresh air. you had attracted attention amongst the men of ton quite easily with your gorgeous smile and attentive gaze, which kento had immediately noticed but when you felt like he was really listening to the words you uttered, you became quite acquainted to the viscount’s presence.
˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami whom you had invited for dinner with your family and was confirmed to be quite the gentleman everyone said he was. well, at least, that’s how he appeared before your family. from across the table, he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you. the way you parted your lips to eat or placed your mouth so carefully around the gorgeous glass to drink hypnotized him. your warm smile and laughter were music to his ears, therefore most of his attention was directed towards you.
˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami whose thoughts becomes dreams in a matter of weeks. your body draws itself in his head. every time you graze his shoulder with yours, his heart flutters. he’s almost ashamed to admit that he’d rather sleep than awaken alone in his bed when he’s been having the most indecent dreams about the gorgeous debutante he’s unable to have. your words resonate in his sleep until they become pleads and moans he wishes to hear.
˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami who despite his title, his honor and even his words, became aware of the fact that he wanted much more than being friends with you. although he didn’t want to burden you with his occupied life, he couldn’t help but boil when one curious man came to your encounter, asking for a dance. you weren’t a fool and quickly noticed the viscount’s name written all over your dancing card moments later. you did wonder how it would look to the eyes of everyone else, but he surely didn’t care.
˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami who has privatized your company not only by dancing with you all night during the ball but also by inviting you to his estate in london. it wasn’t long before you realized how occupied he was but also how he tried his best to escape your chaperone and have you all to himself in his bureau.
˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami who loathes the thought of not having you close to him. he had offered no ring nor promises, yet here he was, teaching everything your mama hadn’t. taking away every ounce of purity you once displayed to every other eligible suitor with his careful hands. you could still feel his lips along your neck and his hold around your waist hours after the act.
˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami who truly believes he is a man of honour, even with your legs parted for his hand to explore your most sensitive places with your naked back against the walls of the library of his estate. the sound you make, he wished no other men to hear when it graced his ears, hurrying his movements and developing the most intense of needs. he trailed your back ever so gently to detach and remove your gown with such delicacy it made your whole body shudder.
˗ˏˋʚ viscount!nanami who, despite engaging in such shameful activities, roams around you, just as before. having eyes only for you and ignoring every little distraction that came his way. the rest of the ton surely did wonder how the most anticipated pairing of the season will officially come to be. many questions lingers in one’s mind when two individuals such as yourselves spend so much time together. had he purposely made you wait to attract the other suitors’ attention and find you as desirable as he did? had he already compromised your integrity and claimed you for himself in secret? he did fancy himself the gentleman, so why hadn’t the big question been asked already?
surely, you did know it wouldn’t be the last time you’d be able to call him "my lord" and it certainly wouldn’t be the last time he’d be able to look at you in the eyes and call you his lady.
© shegetsburned 2024 please do not repost/edit/or claim my writing as your own.
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⋆𐙚𖦹 bf matt headcanons
an hiiii sorry for disappearing again😓 let me know if you want a pt 2 or nsfw version
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bf!matt who becomes your designated driver. doesn't matter if you can drive and have a car; he will drive you around anywhere and everywhere.
bf!matt who keeps your lip products in his car, almost as if it's your car.
bf!matt who keeps your favourite hello kitty toy on his car dashboard.
bf!matt you lets you tie bows everywhere in his car.
bf!matt who carries you around when you're tired.
bf!matt who grumbles a bit while doing silly tik tok trends but loves it either ways.
bf!matt who loved the kiss trend. (it gave him an opportunity to get unlimited kisses from his favourite person.)
bf!matt who loves to call you his girl.
bf!matt who is not a fan of pda but constantly has a arm around you.
bf!matt who wants you after any minor inconvenience.
"baby please i need you im dying"
"matt my love you just tripped over a rock"
bf!matt who swears he hates to be teased by his brothers and friends about but secretly loves it.
bf!matt who is socially awkward and lets you do the talking.
"excuse me, you got his order wrong!"
"can you let me how much this costs?"
"sorry to say, but matt is quite busy on the 25th. if you want we can reschedule the event. thank you!"
bf!matt who is listener. he listens to all of your endless talks. he can never get bored of your yapping.
bf!matt who has a girls night with you every weekend. he'll spend the entire night talking and bitching about people in the city with you.
bf!matt who loves gossiping. he knows all the tea. he also remembers who did what, who's dating who, who has beef with who, who fucked their bestfriend's ex and when. basically he is very much interested in the drama.
bf!matt who loves to cuddle you. anytime you're lying in his bed, he needs you in his arms. or needs to snuggle in your neck or chest.
bf!matt who gets his best sleep only when he's sleeping on your chest.
"but baby i love my personal pillow, so soft and all mine"
bf!matt who gets your favourite flowers everytime you two go on a date.
bf!matt who's not an aggressive person but will pick up a fight with anyone who makes his girl uncomfortable.
"that guy keeps weirdly staring at you, be right back gonna pluck his eyes out"
"mattew please!"
bf!matt who hates the word 'mattitude' but doesn't mind that coming from you.
"matt please your mattitude is showing"
bf!matt who continuously eats his brothers' ears off talking about you.
bf!matt that brings you up in every possible conversation.
"ohoo yn would like this"
"my girl loves this restaurant, let me get something packed for her"
"yn does that too!"
"dude can you not talk about her?"
"no tf?"
bf!matt who's genuinely surprised and happy everytime you get him something, be it flowers, his favourite drink, handmade cards or gift. he's absolutely starstruck.
bf!matt who's mesmerized seeing you in his clothes. he loves the way his shirt looks on you.
bf!matt who'll sometimes pick your nails or design or nails.
bf!matt who gets matching nails with you.
bf!matt who will make sure to pay for your nails.
bf!matt who lets you colour his tattoos when you're bored.
bf!matt who got a tattoo for you just three months into the relationship.
bf!matt with whom you have a matching tattoo.
bf!matt who knows he'll marry you.
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deonsx · 2 days
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If They Take Aphrodisiacs
Feat: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor
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Content: Nsfw, Smut
Dazai Osamu
The nights you spent with your boyfriend always made you very happy. Whether it was the way he always cherished you, the gentleness and the sensual feelings he gave you... the words that made you beg him all the time, you always loved these, but have you ever thought about the possibility of him begging? Wouldn't you like it if he begged you with a sexual hunger just like you? Since you started thinking about this, the direction of your desires changed and you decided to make plans
He is an intelligent man, it is only a matter of time before he realizes what he is drinking, but since he would not expect such boldness from you, everything became simpler. You gave him a heavy aphrodisiac syrup mixed with the drink you gave him that night, and he made a grimace when he first drank it. "It was sour than I thought, shouldn't it be spoiled?" You replied, taking a sip of your own drink. "I don't think so, it's Chuuya-san's choice." You cleared the doubt in his mind by saying so. "Ahhh Chuuya?? It's definitely poisonous then"
Dazai went to sleep half an hour later because he wanted to go to bed early tonight and you couldn't escape the idea of ​​wearing something nice. You went forward wearing sensual dresses. Dazai looked very calm, which made you suspicious... When you approached him, you saw that he was sweating slightly "My love..Are you okay, it looks like you have a fever" " you spoke, placing your hand on the brunette's forehead "Ahm..I don't know, I feel weird"
You grinned slightly "Is my boy really tired today" you played with his curls and placed kisses on his forehead which made him suddenly pull away from your arms and lay on top of you "I thought you were tired Osamu" He barely smiled "Hah...I-I feel warm" you gently cupped his cheek and kissed him. holding his arms, you changed your places and now you were on top, you sat on his tent and lightly rubbed him "uhhh..Love please..I need you"
"Really darling? Let me hear you beg for more" brown eyes looked at you sharply from under their long eyelashes and then their lips let out a deep breath "I need you..I want you my love..please don't turn me away" you slowly unzipped his pants and they were already sewn. You revealed his tent
"Now I see more clearly how much you need me, my love"
Chuuya Nakahara
It was an ordinary day at work. PM days had never been this tiring. You weren't sure if it was the duties or the new blonde girl that was tiring your mind. Are you jealous of your boyfriend from that girl? But she won't betray you, you trust her... But it seems like that girl is trying to use Chuuya's kindness. It's been 2 months since that girl came, but you were bored now, something was happening every day and she was visiting your boyfriend's office, files? enemies? information? boast? she was really trying to seduce him
Every time you tried to talk about this with your boyfriend, he denied it and said that the girl was just immature and was just trying to reinforce things with questions. No matter how angry you got, you couldn't do much. Instead of focusing on these, you thought of focusing on your relationship... something that would make him listen to you, something that would make everything sprout again. well..a few drops of aphrodisiac
You changed the same boring day at work completely. Chuuya wanted his usual morning coffee in his office, but he didn't know who made the coffee. When he entered his office with a coffee in his hand, his eyes narrowed with a warm smile. "My love..Did you make coffee for me?" you nodded slightly and placed the coffee in front of his desk "It was stupid to argue with you about that girl last night dear" chuuya bowed his head slightly and took a sip of his coffee "it's okay from now on I'll make sure he doesn't come into this room that often I promise"
While you were talking, chuuya started to sweat and his breaths became faster. "It was hot.." You blinked your eyes as if you didn't know. "oh? are you sure about that..that you weren't the one who was actually hot...?" his eyes quickly found you, "Did you give me an aphrodisiac, darling, I didn't think you would do this at work" you stood up and walked towards the chair your lover was sitting on and sat on his lap "my love, you were so busy with work these days, I wanted you to give your mind to me"
you covered him with your kisses you left bruises on his neck and gently unbuttoned his shirt "You are so naughty s/o..." you giggled and just rubbed on his lap which made him moan "nghh~ don't make fun of me dear" a knock on the door stopped you both but the voice was the person you wanted to hear "Chuuya-san Can I come in?" That high pitched and affectionate girl's voice, Chuuya couldn't even answer as he was out of breath, but the girl already wanted to enter so he opened the door quickly "Chuuya-...." When you turned your head back you saw the girl's disappointed expression
"Leave me and my girlfriend alone intern"
Fyodor Dostoyevski
Your boyfriend literally doesn't have time for you and this isn't just a 1-2 week thing, it's been 2 months, he can't take his mind off his plans to beat the detective agency and his mind games with Dazai, he doesn't even look at you. You even tried to tell him this "Fyodor... I know you're on the job but "I missed you." He frowned slightly and turned his head from the computer to you. "When the time comes, I will make you forgive me for this indifference." In the second attempt, you prepared a meal for him, but he did not leave his room. In the third attempt, you fought with him and unfortunately, you argued and you tripped without taking a step back. He didn't try to forgive
Finally, one day, an idea came to your mind, you knew he would get angry with you, but you still thought it would solve the problem between you, and now you were upset with him. Normally, you were always the one to hold people back, so this time, you were going to use it. You went home, Fyodor hadn't arrived yet, you prepared a meal and put a lot of your syrup into it. , time has passed. Finally, your lover came home, his eyes looked at the already prepared dinner table, then he looked at you. "Dinner?" He knew you were upset with him, normally he wouldn't eat dinner, but this time he sat at the table for you both.
It was a quiet dinner, as you'd expect, and no sound was heard leaving him. After the meal, the usual work change went on, nothing happened yet, you didn't see any reaction, did it go wrong? Didn't it show aphrodisiac performance? Was the amount not enough? Everything was empty, you took steps towards your room and you were passing by your boyfriend's study, you stood as still as possible until the rapid breathing became louder, very light moaning sounds, it was easy to hear his sounds in the quiet house.
It was fun to listen to your voices. Only the lights were illuminating the dark room. You slowly opened the door, but I guess Fyodor didn't hear it. The voices continued in the same tone. You looked into the room with your eyes and saw your boyfriend, who had thrown his head back and grasped his dick with his hands.. He was trying to help himself.. How sad..." Does someone need my help?" purple eyes opened like they were shining in the dark and they turned directly to you "What did you put in that food...haah.." as the light moans continued he removed his hands from his cock and tried to cover himself, you directed your steps towards him "What does it matter...I just wanted you to understand your mistake dear." fyodor's eyes narrowed in disdain "I don't need any help-" you slowly sat down on your boyfriend's lap, who was sitting on the chair, and felt his cock start to get wet under his pants. "nnnghh stop it...don't make fun of me"
“If you tell me your wishes, I will not hesitate to give them all to you, my love”
Enjoy!
We are 800 people, thank you everyone for supporting what I wrote^^
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bubblergoespop · 1 day
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My Top David Quotes
i need this man to hold me while i cry
“Oops.”
“If I gave Milo less than a full month to plan out his outfit, I’m sure he’d kick my ass. If he could reach it.”
“This is omega shit, I’m not built for this.”
“Oh god they’re gonna pet me, oh fuck I didn’t think about that. I’m not some house dog I don’t need— [melts at angel petting him]”
“Is my Angel mad at me?”
“Call me that one more time and you won’t be able to walk tomorrow.”
“If I’m not good enough then go find someone who is, see if I care. No. You know what, no fuck that. I do care. I love you.”
“What? He doesn’t even drink tea, he drinks coffee what are you talking about?”
“Your words carry weight with me, no matter how much or how little you talk.”
“I will not participate in your little gossip session. I am the pack alpha, I have to be above that kind of shit… but yes Amanda and Christian are definitely fucking and yes it is definitely going to get very awkward.”
“No I won’t be able to talk, I become a fucking wolf. I can only make wolf noises..”
“I know I can be rough and nasty. […] But I just need you to know that, no matter what, I have never regretted being with you for a second. I’m proud to call you my mate.”
“He would have loved you, you know. You would have made him laugh.”
“Alpha privileges.”
“You make him happier than I’ve ever seen him before. And he deserves that. So thank you. For taking care of him. [Asher singing in background] Is he…? Oh god, never mind. He doesn’t deserve anything.”
“That phrase is perfectly common, shut up. But… keep talking. Because I like your voice, you snot, and I missed hearing it.”
“You cannot tell when I need something… who am I fucking kidding? Yes you can.”
“I want to fuck you into this bed so hard that the frame breaks underneath us, and then fuck you into the floor even harder.”
“I love my pack but there isn’t a half decent cook in the entire group. [if you listen very closely you can hear Milo’s feral growling in the background]”
“No, I don’t like it when you hold me. Or when you nuzzle my neck. [proceeds to whimper]”
“Those sounds are for me.”
“There’s not much in this world I’d get on my knees for. But for you—always.”
“Where's the troublemaker? Out looking for a bear to fight one on one or something?”
“You’re one of my best friends, Milo. You’re family. And I’m very grateful for you.”
“You hold my heart in your hands, Angel.”
“God, you’re as bad as Ash. Sorry, don’t let me rob you of credit. You’re much worse. I love you too.”
“After all, who am I to say no to my Angel?”
“What am I gonna do with you?”
“Sappy. Yes you are. You’re my sappy, sentimental thief.”
“[scoff] You missed.”
“When I’m with you, I’m not an Alpha. I’m not a friend, I’m not a competitor, I’m… I’m David. And I thought I’d lost him a long time ago.”
“Tell me you didn’t just call that Pokemon ‘Daddy’.”
“Drive safe.”
“I want it to be whatever you want it to be.”
“Breathe. Relax into it. I’ve got you. It’s almost all the way in..”
“Tearing through clothes is fucking hot.”
“And to think, some people believe you’re nice. I like bite. And history says you do too.”
“It was worth every sleepless night. You are worth everything, angel.”
“I’m yours.”
“You’ve always had a way of being a ray of sunshine in my life, whatever the source of the darkness might be, whether that’s stuff from the outside, or stuff from inside of me.”
“Only if you do…”
“I don’t know if I should kill them or marry them.” (he chose marry them)
“You shouldn't be facing this alone. You're family. You're one of us. We love you.”
“We’ve got five minutes before the food gets here, we’ve done more with less.”
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hairstevington · 3 days
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call me when you get this
Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington
Summary: Eddie and Steve are best friends, but even the best of friends have secrets.
WC: 3K
Warnings: Story told through voicemails, mild angst, coming out to each other, secret feelings, friends to lovers, kissing, swearing, light angst very brief, references to Robin and Gareth, drunk shenangians, idiots in love, set in 1991 but it doesn't matter too much, no mention of the Upside Down stuff
A/N: I have like three other WIP's happening and zero time but this idea was given to me by the beloved @tinytalkingtina in the discord and then I couldn't get it out of my head. Ao3 link here for those interested!
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Tuesday, September 24th, 1991, 12:52am
GARETH hi yes I know it’s late but HAVE YOU LISTENED TO THE ALBUM YET? I need all of your thoughts immediately. Like, all of them. Every thought. Dude, my head is spinning. Ohhh, man. Kurt is a fuckin’ legend. Woooow. Okay, I could talk about this shit for like three hours but I don’t want to run out your tape so just call me back when you get this and then talk to me about it for three hours. Can I come over a little early tomorrow? Yeah, I’m gonna come over a little early tomorrow. Maybe a lot early. Alright, catch ya then. 
Tuesday, September 24th, 1991, 3:40pm
Uhh, ha. Hey Steve. Thiiiis is Eddie, obviously. I, uh, I just realized I called you in the middle of the night last night on accident, and - uhh, sorry about that. It was just - ah, screw it. You know what I am. Byeeeeee-
Tuesday, September 24th, 1991, 7:30pm
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
Eds, how many times do I have to tell you to change your answering machine message? What if, like, the president calls? Okay, maybe not the president. But an employer or something. Or, like, what if you give the girl of your dreams your number and she calls you and hears THAT? Food for thought. Uhh, anyway, it’s fine. I wasn’t even home when you called me. Robin was, though, and so you’ll probably hear her wrath next time you come over for movie night. Good luck with that. Oh, wait. You’re at a show tonight, right? Damn. I swear I’ll make the next one. Okay, bye, dickhead. 
Wednesday, September 25th, 1991, 1:12pm
“You have reached Steve Harrington. Figured I should say that in case whoever is calling me thinks they’re calling someone else. Anyway, I’m busy right now so I’ll call you back. Bye!”
Ha, ha. You are so funny, Harrington. You ever think about being a stand-up comedian? Jesus, and you say I’M the dramatic one. Uhh, the show last night went well, by the way. Not that you were THERE. Seriously, what kind of friend even are you? I’m hurt, Steve. I’m hurt. Anyway, see you tomorrow for movie night. I get to pick. It’s only fair, right?
Thursday, September 27th, 1991, 4pm
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
You’re not picking the goddamn movie. No way. Last time you did that we got scarred for life. Also, um. I can’t tell if you’re joking or not about me and your shows. I didn’t realize you - uhh, you’re probably joking. Forget I said anything, and see you tonight. I’m at work right now, so I’m gonna rent some backup options just in case.
Sunday, September 30th, 1991, 2pm
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
Dustin says you were being a total dick last night. Good. That shrimp deserves to be humbled every once in a while. Your answering machine message still sucks, by the way, and yeah I’m gonna tell you every time. 
Monday, October 1st, 1991, 3:21pm
“Hey, this is Steve.”
“And Robin!”
“And you’ve somehow managed to call us when neither of us are here.”
“We are probably together.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Or we just don’t want to talk to you.”
“Oh, that too.”
“Either way, leave a message and we’ll get back to you later!”
“Probably.”
“Probably!”
Steve. My guy. I can’t believe you make fun of me for my bullshit message all the time and now you’ve created and advertised THAT abomination?? I’m - wow. I forgot why I even called.
Monday, October 1st, 1991, 3:23pm
“Hey, this is Steve.”
“And Robin!”
“And you’ve somehow managed to call us when neither of us are here.”
“We are probably together.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Or we just don’t want to talk to you.”
“Oh, that too.”
“Either way, leave a message and we’ll get back to you later!”
“Probably.”
“Probably!”
Okay, I remember now. I know you said you have that date tomorrow with Heidi or Melissa or Samantha or whoever is currently obsessed with you, but I really do want you at the show if you can make it. You can bring her, if you want. Actually, it might be a good test. If she hates metal, she fails. I only want the best suitors for you, Steve Harrington. Be there or I’ll be REALLY annoying about it forever. 
Tuesday, October 2nd, 1991, 11:45pm
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
Hey, it’s Steve. So, uh - I saw your show tonight. You’re probably not home yet, but I don’t know where you are. Cuz like, I tried to find you after your set but you disappeared. I hope everything’s okay. You sounded great, by the way. I mean, you all did. Remember me when you’re playing at the Garden? Oh also, I heard like three women talk about how badly they wanted you, so…I dunno, just figured you’d like to hear that. Hey, maybe you got with one of them and that’s why you’re not answering. In that case, hope you’re having fun? Okay, now it’s weird. Bye, Eds.
Wednesday, October 3rd, 12:54am
“Hey, this is Steve.”
“And Robin!”
“And you’ve somehow managed to call us when neither of us are here.”
“We are probably together.”
“Yeah, probably.”
“Or we just don’t want to talk to you.”
“Oh, that too.”
“Either way, leave a message and we’ll get back to you later!”
“Probably.”
“Probably!”
Steeeeeeeeeeeve. You absolute buffoon. You beautiful, oblivious man. Why’dya think I wanted you there’so badly t’night, Steve? T’wasn’t for the girls. Ha, girls. Yeah, okay. I may have had several alcoholic beverages, Steve-o, but you’re still the dumbass. Cuz you’d have to be an absolute idiot t’think I have any interest in those women. ‘Specially yours. Your women, I mean. Sandyyyyy. Ugh, she was perfect for you, Harrington. Juuuust perfect. So perfect I didn’t wanna stick around to see any more of it. I hope you two have beautiful children. Name one after me, will you? Uhhhh I think I might puke. So, I’m gonna go, but - but do you get what I’m saying? Do you - do you get it? Tell me you get it. Steve, I - Oh, hey Gareth. Do you wanna talk to Steve? Wait why are you - Dude, I’m FINE. I’m handling it! Stop! Gareth, don’t hang up the phone, I haven’t -!
Wednesday, October 3nd, 1991, 9:05am
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
Dude, did you fucking break into our apartment last night? Robin and I came home this morning and found a broken lock and some shitty note we could barely read next to the answering machine, and - what the fuck, man? You wiped the damn thing clean. Just - call me back, okay? Jesus. 
Wednesday, October 3nd, 1991, 11:36am
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
Eddie, come on. We really need to talk. I’m not - I’m not mad, honest to God. Call me back, as soon as you get this. Got it?
Thursday, October 4th, 1991, 3:47pm
“Hey, it’s Eddie. I proooobably won’t listen to whatever you’re about to say, but shoot your shot anyway.”
It’s movie night, but I’m assuming you won’t be here considering you’ve pulled your magic disappearing act. Thanks for that, by the way. You know you really piss me off sometimes? All the time, actually. I’m getting real tired of you constantly poking fun at me, and then you pull this breaking and entering shit and just take off? Just like that? We’ve been friends for years, Eds. You and me. But you never want to just be serious, not once in your goddamn life, and I’m over it. So, uh, thanks for that, I guess. I dunno what I did. 
Sunday, October 7th, 1991, 1:12pm
Hi! You have reached Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley’s home. Leave a message at the beep!
Huh. You know what? I kind of miss the old message you had. Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m impossible to please, yada yada yada, and now I’m doing the avoiding with humor thing again. Shit. Uhh, hi. Listen, I’m sorry I disappeared off the face of the earth for a while. Really, really fucking sorry, if you can believe it. I was just, like, mad embarrassed, and I didn’t wanna - uh, can we meet up soon? Alone? Like, without Robin even? I know that’s - like, unheard of these days, but I figure maybe you’d make an exception for me. Or maybe you won’t. Just let me know, yeah? 
Sunday, October 7th, 1991, 1:30pm
Hi! You have reached Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley’s home. Leave a message at the beep!
See, I would just hop on over to your place to talk but the thing is, I’m a total chickenshit and it’s not like I did super well the last time I showed up to your place unannounced, so…Uhh, while we’re on the subject, I’m sorry about your lock. If you haven’t replaced it yet, I will. I’ll at least pay you back. In my defense, that thing was like two seconds from falling off anyway. But still. Anyway, I know you always spend Sundays at home, soooo…hellooooo? Come on. At least pick up the phone and tell me to fuck off. I know you’re listening. At least - I hope you are, anyway. Just pick up, man. I - I really gotta talk to you. 
Sunday, October 7th, 1991, 1:37pm
Hi! You have reached Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley’s home. Leave a message at the beep!
So, quick update, I called Henderson. He confirmed you are at home, which means you are DEFINITELY listening, and either you’re trying to punish me or a part of you still finds my piece of shit ass charming somehow. Look, I know I fucked up, but - but I can explain. Shit. I mean, I’m not good with words or anything and I’m a total asshole but I - just, please. Pick up. Pick uuuuup. Come on. Now you’re just being a dick. Ha. Figures, I’m apologizing and calling you a dick in the same message. Dude. Seriously. Your tape is gonna run out of space and then what? You stop hearing from me? I’ll find other ways to annoy you, promise. This is a threat. Steve. Steeeeve. Pick up pick up pick up pick upppp -
“Will you just shut the hell up already?”
Eddie dropped the phone and heard it clack against the floor. He would have recognized that voice anywhere. 
He turned around and there he was. 
“Steve, what are you -?”
“You would just be yapping on that damn answering machine my whole drive here,” Steve said with his hands on his hips. “I don’t know why I expected any less. And, thanks to you, we had all the space in the world for you to take up, so -”
“H-how did you get in here?” Eddie stuttered. 
Steve rolled his eyes. “What? You think you’re the only one who’s not afraid of breaking and entering?”
They hadn’t seen each other in five days. Hadn’t even talked, aside from a few voicemails. And those never told the whole story. 
“I’m sorry,” Eddie began. 
“Yeah, you should be,” Steve replied, taking a step closer to Eddie in the kitchen. 
Eddie winced, his heart racing a million miles a minute. He just had to get all of the words out, while he still could. While Steve was listening. 
“I left you this really stupid voicemail,” Eddie explained. “That night, after the show. I was drunk off my ass, and - and Gareth told me I’d said shit I shouldn’t have said, and then I panicked, and the two of us went to your apartment and I - well, you know the rest.” He slumped down into the chair at the dining room table, putting his head in his hands. “Which is all just so dumb. And I didn’t wanna deal with the aftermath, so…”
“So you stopped talking to me?” Steve said, taking another step closer. “Because you thought that would be the straw that broke the camel’s back in our friendship?”
Eddie shook his head. “I dunno, I -”
“You’ve done some real weird shit over the years, Munson,” Steve continued. “Sneaking into my apartment doesn’t even make the top three.”
Eddie buried his face in his hair. No amount of boyish charm would get him out of this one. Jesus H. Christ. 
He sighed. “Okay, so I overreacted, what else is new?” 
“I heard the voicemail, dickhead.”
Eddie’s heart went from breakneck speeds to stopping entirely. 
“What?”
Steve sat down in the other seat at the table. “I heard the voicemail. It was 1am, again, so yeah I was at home.”
“I thought you would have been with Sandy,” Eddie muttered.
Steve shook his head. “Nah, Sandy was - she’s great and all, but she isn’t - she’s not -”
“So you heard the voicemail, but you weren’t home when I showed up,” Eddie noted.
“Right,” Steve said. “Because I was headed to your place.”
“What?”
Steve rolled his eyes. “I just - I didn’t understand why you never told me you were queer. Like, you know I don’t care about that. You know about Robin…”
As Steve talked, Eddie realized that Steve only heard half of what that voicemail was trying to express. So, it was time for Eddie Munson to face the music. 
“I didn’t tell you I’m gay because I knew that once I did, you’d figure out the rest of it,” Eddie blurted out.
Steve furrowed his eyebrows. “The rest of it?”
Eddie groaned. “Oh, God. See, drunk me had the right idea saying this kind of shit over an answering machine. Christ, I’m so bad at this, but I’m just gonna say it, because if I don’t I think I’ll lose my shot with you and I - I can’t deal with that. So, here we go.” He squeezed his eyes shut and powered through. “Steve, I - ha, shit. I love you, dude. I’m - I’m IN love with you. I have been since, like, forever.” He opened his eyes, but kept them fixed on their feet against the linoleum kitchen floor. “Which is, uhh, a lot, I know. But it’s the truth. So if there’s any chance -”
“Oh, my God,” Steve interrupted. His voice wasn’t angry, or scared, or anything like that. It was soft and understanding. 
“Yeah,” Eddie agreed. “Wait, what are you thinking?” He looked up to see Steve staring off into the distance before meeting his gaze. 
“I’m thinking,” Steve replied. “That I owe Robin twenty bucks.”
Eddie cocked his head to the side and felt his heart skip back into rhythm. “You do?”
Steve nodded with a slight smile. At some point, his hand had ended up on Eddie’s knee. “Yeah, I didn’t believe her. Told her no way, not possible.”
Eddie didn’t know how to feel about this reaction. It wasn’t the worst possible response, but it certainly wasn’t Oh, Eddie! How I’ve longed for you all this time! Take me now! 
A middleground, if you will. 
“Oookay,” Eddie said. “Well, I don’t really know what to say now.”
“I’m queer too, ya know,” Steve continued.
"Wait, really?" Eddie balked. "Steve Harrington, ladies man?"
Steve chuckled. "Uh, yeah. Turns out, not so much," he said. "I feel like I’m pretty open about it. Guys, girls, whatever -”
“Yeah, but we all do that,” Eddie reasoned. “Me, you, and Robin all talking about how hot everyone is on our movie nights. It doesn’t prove anything.”
“Except that it totally does,” Steve countered. “Because, like, what do we all have in common?"
Eddie thought about it, and he didn’t have any other defenses.
“O-okay, so you’re queer too,” Eddie said. “And the other thing I said?”
Steve took a deep breath and looked Eddie directly in his frightened eyes.
“Eds, obviously I love you too,” Steve admitted at last. “Come on, seriously? After all I’ve put up with? I’ve been waiting around for like five days for you to call, like some lovesick puppy, and the moment I heard your voice I drove here instead of picking up the phone like a normal person. I’ve got it so bad for you that Robin is sick of it, and honestly, I’m sick of it too, because I hate having feelings. It blows, dude. I swear to God, if you try to bolt again when things get tough -”
Eddie lunged forward and cut Steve’s words off with a kiss. Their first kiss, even if it didn’t feel that way. Eddie had cupped Steve’s cheek in the past while he teased him. Steve had curled his fingers in Eddie’s hair in the past the night Robin taught him how to braid. Eddie and Steve had all kinds of physical contact in various ways over the years, and it was as if all of that was just practice for this. 
Eddie broke away from Steve’s lips purely out of necessity, because he needed to catch his breath. “Okay, woah,” he said.
“Yeah,” Steve agreed. “Woah.”
Everything changed after that. But also, nothing changed at all.
-
Tuesday, October 16th, 1991, 4:12pm
“Hey, this is Eddie Munson’s phone. Leave a message and I’ll call ya back.”
Hi, Eds. Okay, I was wrong. This new message you have is, like, super boring. Anyway, I’ll see you at the show tonight, Rockstar. Love you. 
xx
I did have a taglist way back when but the tagging system is super annoying on tumblr, so please reblog this if you liked it and follow me or my Ao3 for other works! Masterlist is the pinned post on my page for those interested. Thanks for reading!
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This isn't Your Fault ('I Love You')
Pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader
Summary: “I love you,” Tara said. Her eyes widened as soon as the words left her mouth.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 3.1k+
Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
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Tara was leaning back in her seat, her head thrown back as she laughed at a joke you told her. The two of you were at a little coffee shop just off campus. The two of you went there all the time during free time or after class since it was less likely for you to be seen together by Tara’s friends. It sort of became your spot, you would do little coffee dates there, but mostly you went there and would catch up on class work or study.
The two of you had been there for a few hours now, tucked away in the corner on the couch. It was easily the best spot in the place and the two of you were definitely using it to your advantage. Tara was meant to be studying for an upcoming test and you were supposed to be working on a project for your audio class. You had your laptop out, with all your audio stuff pulled up, your headphones around your neck, like always, and Tara had all her books sprawled out on the table and a notebook scribbled with notes only she could decipher.
Tara had been trying to distract you for the last few minutes, she had been studying so much she felt like her brain was going to melt. You had been hard at work, listening intently to whatever you were working on and editing the sound like crazy. You tried talking to Tara about audio stuff, how you created sounds, how you mixed music, and how you applied it to video, but Tara never got it, all that information went right over her head.
“Here,” you said. “Listen to this.” You slipped off your headphones, already handing them to Tara.
She graciously took them and slipped them on her head. You hit play and were biting your nail as your eyes watched Tara, not paying attention to your screen. You were making the soundtrack for a video and had been working on it tirelessly, while you would add music and do all your stuff on your laptop you had a little box in the top corner playing the video, so you knew where to put the music and how to edit it.
Tara stared at your screen, her eyes watching the video while her ears paid attention to the music. She tilted her head when the music started out quietly, it was almost impossible to hear but as the video continued and the scene started to become more clear the music began to swell. Tara wasn’t sure what the video was supposed to be about, professors tended to provide students with video that was free use, or they would use footage shot by themselves or other students in the past. It didn’t matter if she didn’t understand the video though because your music was creating all the emotion for her.
When the music slowly died off as the video faded to black, Tara slipped off the headphones, handing them back to you. “Holy shit,” she whispered. She looked over at you in awe, you were still sitting there, rocking back and forth in your seat as you continued to bite your nail. “That was amazing.”
“Really?” you asked, your eyes instantly lighting up. You bounced in your seat, straightening your back, almost like you were about to jump out of your seat. “Are you sure? Because I wasn’t sure about the opening. I know it’s a risk but…”
Your words slowly became muffled as Tara continued to stare at you. She knew you were still talking; she was watching as your lips moved rapidly and you began gesturing at your screen, pointing to various programs you had open as you talked about your project. Tara didn’t mean to tune out what you were talking about, she loved listening to you go on and on about music, you got so passionate and excited when talking about it.
Tara had been dating you for about three months and she still couldn’t get over how adorable you were. You mentioned how Tara’s eyes would light up after watching a move and she’d begin to dissect it, especially if it was one she really enjoyed. You got the same look when talking about musical scores and just about anything to do with sound design in general. When you got excited, you would talk so fast, stumbling over your words at times as your mind tried to catch up with the speed of your mouth.
“I love you,” Tara said. Her eyes widened as soon as the words left her mouth. She knew she said it quietly, but you clearly heard her based on how quickly you stopped talking. You turned to her, looking at her with wide eyes as your mouth opened and closed.
She couldn’t believe she just said that, she couldn’t believe that was how she said it. She slammed her book closed, shoving it and her notebook in her bag quicker than she ever had before. She was on her feet before you clearly had time to process what she said. “I gotta go,” she said.
“Tara-” she heard you say but she was already halfway across the shop. As she ripped open the door she glanced back, seeing you standing there but before you could chase after her she rushed out the door.
She ran back to her apartment as fast as she could, she knew you wanted to come after her, but you wouldn’t push it, you wouldn’t show up at her place. She could feel her phone vibrating every few seconds, but she refused to look at it. As soon as she got home, she slammed the door closed, quickly locking the door as if she were being chased by someone. She dropped her head against the door with a thud, she couldn’t believe she had just ruined the best thing in her life.
“Tara?” Sam called out.
Tara lifted her head off the door, she needed to pull herself together before she faced her sister. Sam would instantly know if something was wrong and Tara couldn’t tell her about you, especially not now. Tara turned around just as Sam came into the living room. Sam furrowed her brow, her eyes looking Tara up and down. Tara swallowed nervously, hoping she was hiding what was wrong.
“Everything okay?” Sam asked, tilting her head.
Tara nodded, giving a forced smile. “Yeah,” Tara’s voice went a bit higher than she wanted. Tara cleared her throat, shaking her head as if she just had something caught in her throat. “Just stressed from all the studying.”
Sam slowly nodded her head, not seeming convinced but turned and went back to the kitchen. Tara walked past her, ignoring the delicious smell of pasta as she went to her room, kicking the door closed and loudly dropping her bag by the closet. She flopped down onto her bed, letting out a loud groan into her pillow. After a few minutes she reached down, struggling as she pulled her phone out of her pocket. She rolled over, her face being lit up by the screen as she saw the dozens of texts you sent her from the second she walked away from you, to when she got back to her apartment.
She opened the text, seeing you begging for her to call you back and apologizing, despite the fact that you weren’t the one who did anything wrong. She wanted to text you back, telling you she was sorry and didn’t mean what she said, she wanted to take it all back. The truth was that she did mean it, she loved you, she had never been in love before but falling for you had been effortless. Listening to you talk excitedly about your audio project hit her like a truck, she loved you. The two of you hadn’t been dating long though, you hadn’t even met her friends or her sister yet, she knew that was all because of her but still, she didn’t know how she could love you when she still wanted to keep you a secret.
When dinner time came around Tara, moved the pasta around her plate, slowly eating. Sam tried to make conversation with her, but she just brushed everything off. Tara’s excuse was school, that things were starting to get more difficult and hectic and she had a big test coming up. None of that was a lie but Tara had pretty much forgotten all about her test the second she said those three little words to you.
Tara was glad she didn’t have class with you the rest of the week. She was planning on avoiding you for the rest of her life. She woke up the next day to more text from you. You asked to meet her before her class, and she once again just left you on read. She didn’t know what to say to you, she couldn’t face you. She told you she loved you and then ran away. You probably thought she was crazy and most likely the reason you wanted to see her in person was to break up with her, you were way to considerate to break up with someone over a text.
The rest of the week Tara was actively avoiding you on campus. She still refused to text you back and if she saw you across the courtyard she ran the other direction. You still messaged her every day, usually multiple times a day but you never sought her out. You were so damn considerate; you knew Tara didn’t want to talk to you and as much as you wanted to clearly talk to her you still respected her decision in avoiding you.
It was Friday night, the week was finally over, and Tara could relax. Tara intended to hold up in the apartment all weekend. She only needed to worry about Monday, when Monday rolled around, she’d before forced to go to class again, forced to go to Film History, the class she shared with you. She hadn’t studied since being in the coffee shop with you, every time she opened her book her mind was consumed with you, she was going to tank her test and it was all because she opened her big mouth.
“Come on T,” Mindy shouted, slapping her on the leg. “The party should well be on its way by now.”
Tara looked up from the TV, she was slumped on the couch, staring mindlessly at the TV, she didn’t even know what was playing. Mindy, Chad, and Anika were standing in the middle of the room, all of them dressed and ready for the frat party going on.
“Pass,” Tara mumbled.
Everyone in the room stopped what they were doing and turned to look at her. “What?” Chad asked with a small chuckle. “You’re kidding, right?”
Tara shook her head and went back to staring at the TV. “Are you okay?” Anika asked. Tara didn’t miss the concern in her friend’s voice. She was always the one begging them to go to parties and throwing a fit when Sam would disapprove. She knew the last place she’d ever run into you was at a party, but she just wasn’t in the mood.
“Just tired,” Tara shrugged. “My brain is fried, and I still have to study.” All three of her friends looked at each other and her, unsure what they were supposed to do. “Go,” she waved them off. “Have fun, seriously, I’m fine.” Tara gave them a forced smile; she was doing that a lot this week.
The three of them slowly shuffled out the door, all of them constantly glancing back at her. She was truly fine, well she wasn’t, but she didn’t want them to stay with her and she didn’t want to go to the party, she just wanted to be alone. A few minutes later Sam came out of her room, fixing her jacket before grabbing her keys.
Sam paused in her movements, looking around the room with scrunched eyebrows. “Where are the others?” she asked.
“A party,” Tara mumbled, not taking her eyes off the TV. Sam didn’t say anything, but Tara heard some sort of noise come from her sister, making her look up from the TV again. “I’m not going,” Tara assured when she saw Sam looking conflicted. Sam raised an eyebrow at that. Tara wanted to roll her eyes, but she couldn’t be offended, she did tend to disobey Sam when it came to parties. “Seriously.”
“Okay,” Sam said slowly. She kept glancing at Tara, clearly not convinced Tara wouldn’t try sneaking out. “Just be careful, don’t unlock the door for anyone.”
“I know.”
“And remember I’m working late tonight and then have an early shift at the diner, so I won’t be home until late morning, early afternoon.”
Tara nodded saying goodbye as Sam left the apartment, locking all the locks behind her. Tara didn’t know where Quinn was, but she knew she wasn’t home. Tara turned off the TV and dragged her feet to her room. She didn’t even care what time it was; she was exhausted and wanted to sleep for the rest of her life.
Tara crawled into her bed and pulled the blanket over her head. Tara needed to figure out what she wanted to say to you, she knew she couldn’t avoid you forever. She ruined the best relationship she ever had, she might have lost you forever and she had no one to blame but herself. She was afraid of what you would say, it was obvious she was moving way to fast. Mindy had been dating Anika longer than Tara and you had and they hadn’t even said I love you yet.
Tara must have fallen asleep at some point because next thing she knew she was blinking the sleep from her eyes. She looked around in the darkness of her room, wondering what had woken her up. She heard a rumble of thunder and then realized it was pouring down rain outside. She shrugged it off, there probably had been some loud thunder or lightning that disturbed her from her restless sleep.
Tara rolled over to go back to sleep when she heard tapping. She sat up, looking around again, that definitely hadn’t been thunder. The tapping happened again, though a bit louder. Tara looked around until her eyes landed on her window where a shadowy figure sat. Tara’s eyes widened, her heart jumping out of her chest but then the figure pushed back their hood, revealing your face. She couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief.
Tara slipped out of bed, padding her way over to the window. She unlocked the window, sliding it open. She shook her head, there you were sitting on the fire escaped, completely drenched. “What are you doing here?” Tara asked, taking your hand to help you inside.
“I just-I wanted to talk,” you whispered.
Tara closed the window then went and turned on the lamp by her bedside. With the light she could now see you standing before her in the middle of her room. When you pushed back the hood of your sweatshirt the rest of the way Tara could see your red rimmed eyes.
Tara furrowed her brow, instantly closing the distance between the two of you and taking your hands in her own. “What’s wrong?” she asked, looking you over. It was obvious you had been crying, Tara wanted to fix whatever had made you upset, she never wanted to see you sad.
You let out a humorless chuckle. Tara had a feeling she wasn’t going to like the answer to what has caused you to be upset. “Well, my girlfriend ran away after telling me she loved me,” you said. “Before I could respond, and she’s been avoiding me ever since.”
Tara dropped her eyes to the floor, but she didn’t let go of your hands. Before looking away she could already see the tears beginning to fill your eyes. Tara sniffled, her vision blurring from her own tears. “I’m sorry,” Tara mumbled. She was the reason you were upset, she was the reason you’ve been distressed and hurt the last few days.
“Just talk to me,” you whispered. You let go of one of her hands to gently tilt her chin up, forcing her to look at you again. “Did I do something wrong?”
Tara furiously shook her head, wiping away the tears. “No, no, of course not.”
“Then why are you avoiding me?” Tears instantly filled Tara’s eyes again when she heard your voice crack. She had been sitting here feeling bad for herself and you were out there blaming yourself.
“Because I was scared,” Tara admitted, running a hand through her hair. “I just blurted those words out and it’s too soon and I didn’t want to lose you.”
You were shaking your head; Tara wasn’t sure at which part. “You didn’t even let me respond,” you let out a small chuckle. “I won’t lie, I was caught off guard.” Tara nodded, her eyes sliding to the floor again. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t love you.” Tara’s entire body froze, she blinked a few times wondering if she just heard what she thought she heard. “I was rambling about my project and just wasn’t expecting you to say that.”
“What?” Tara whispered, looking up at you.
You smiled, your eyes shining with tears that had yet to fall. “I love you,” you rested your hand on her cheek, looking deep into her eyes.
Tara couldn’t help but break out into a smile, instantly pulling you into a kiss. Your arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her closer. Tara tugged your hoodie, pulling you towards her bed without breaking the kiss. She unzipped your hoodie, tossing it into the corner of her room as soon as she got it off.
“Wait, wait,” you said in between kisses. Tara couldn’t help but let out a whine when she felt you pull away. You chuckled which only made her glare at you, she was considering sending you back out in the rain now. “What about your sister?”
“She’s at work,” Tara answered quickly, pulling you right back into a kiss.
She pulled you down onto the bed, running her hands through your hair as she gave you a few more kisses before breaking away again. “I love you,” she whispered. “Stay the night?”
You nodded, smiling as you leaned down, pressing Tara further into the mattress as you. Tara was thrilled Sam was working late then going straight to her other job. Tara didn’t intend to let you leave anytime soon. If she was really lucky Sam would come home so tired she wouldn’t even check Tara’s room and you wouldn’t be forced to sneak out.
Taglist: @lilbitdepressed27 @fanboy7794 @noooodlessstuff @tatumrileyslover @alexkolax @canvascoloredin @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @youralphawolf72
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Hey, I was wondering g if you could make a sleeping in the dark part 2? If it's okay to ask could you possibly do a chubby!reader?
Crying in the middle of the night in the darkness but the minster comes out to think reader is crying because of the dark. Reassuring her that it's oka and the dark isn't scary but, reader then explains that she wasn't crying because of the dark. The monster gets all confused and asks why she was crying. Reader tells the monster that she was insecure abt her body, then further explains that's she's been being treated badly in her work/school environment by her peers because of her body/looks.
Thank you if you respond, I mean it could be a she part and not part 2 but again, thank you.
-🦝 anon.
Hi 🦝 anon! I’m sorry it took me so long to get to this. I really wanted to do justice to this request. As a chubby woman myself, I know perfectly well the struggles of being fat in a society that doesn’t like fat at all. I try not to make any comments about the body of the reader if it doesn’t play a part in the action bc I want ppl to imagine themselves there as they want. Even when the monsters use terms as “little human” think about it like the monster is so big you are tiny, doesn’t matter how big you are in real life. I love a good size difference, so there’s that. I hope you don’t think this means you need somebody to tell you you are pretty, beautiful or hot, because that’s not true, you are all that without anyone saying it. Believe me, as someone who likes boys, girls, and everything in between, fat bodies are hot like burning. But I do get the necessity to hear it sometimes, and this story is born because of it. That said, I hope this is as cathartic for you as it was for me, this short hit really close to the heart for me. <3
Part 1 if you haven't read it
Sleeping in the dark (part 2)
Night monster x chubby fem!reader || orgasm denial || tw: fatphobia
You were, once again, crying in your room, ugly sobs that made it hard to breathe and your heart beating faster. You felt his presence before he could make himself known. “Oh no, little human, I thought we went past the fear of the dark.” His tone was so soft you felt your heart skip a beat.
You sniffled against the pillow, “is not that.” You tried to tell him more, but another sob broke from your chest.
“What do you mean?” He seemed confused at your statement, like there weren’t any other reasons why you could be crying about. You guessed as a monster in your closet he probably didn’t know much about the horrors of the world. He lived in a bubble of darkness inside your room, after all.
“They- They called me fat,” you told him in between hiccups.
“Who did?” His tone sounded dangerous. You looked up from your pillow, trying to see something in the dark of your room. You could see his silhouette, but nothing else. You wished you could turn the light on, but you didn’t want him to go.
“Some random dude from the office. They called me fat. They thought I wasn’t listening but they called me fat and made fun of me. I thought I was past that, but there’s always someone that reminds me how ugly my body is.” He growled at that statement. You ignored it and kept talking, “they always tell you to love your body, but when it comes to being fat, they want you to hate yourself. And I try to fight it, I try every day, but sometimes is just too much.” You sobbed again, he touched your knee and you felt his arms closing around you two seconds later. “I just want to be pretty.” You cried against his chest, your voice muffled by his skin. He growled and you felt it against your teary face.
“Don’t say that. You are pretty, you are beautiful, you are the most beautiful human,” his voice was filled with desperation for you to believe him.
“You have to say that, you’ve only seen me,” you joked. The laugh you let out was swallowed by the sob that broke free right after.
“You are wrong.” He touched your skin, wiping away some tears with his thumb. “I’ve lived thousands of years, I’ve known many humans, some of them have known me. You are beautiful. You are perfect.”
“No, I’m not. But thanks for saying that.” He flipped you onto your back so fast you let out a scream. He tore your clothes apart and you felt him caressing every inch of your skin at the same time.
“Beautiful,” he told you. He touched every part of your body, caressing your skin like you were a work of art, whispering endearing words against your ear. He told you every single compliment you could think of, and then some more.
It felt wrong to feel like that, you felt like he was lying, but he couldn’t be. It felt like he was forcing you to acknowledge every single cell in your body. It felt like he was pushing the words in your soul, trying to imprint them there so you wouldn’t feel ugly never again. You cried, at every single word, a tear ran down your skin. He didn’t wipe them out, he let you cry as he caressed your skin. When he parted your legs and positioned himself there, you kept crying.
Your pussy was so wet, and your soul felt so raw.
He started slow, licking your wet lips, playing with his tongue all over, but where you wanted him the most. He never shut up, telling you how pretty you were, how wet, how wonderful for him, how perfect. You were rapidly approaching to an orgasm when he said: “Say nice things about yourself if you want to come.” You shook your head, grabbing his head and trying to push him to eat you out again. “Say it,” he ordered. His voice was hard and commanding.
“I- I can’t,” you cried out. There was no way. You didn’t feel it, it wasn’t true. You weren’t pretty. You weren’t beautiful. His words seemed like a lie, but his actions spoke volumes. One of his hands never stopped caressing your soft tummy, your wide hips. His other hand played with your pussy, thrusting in and out in a tortuous way.
“Say it!” He insisted, his tone angry as he pushed two fingers into you forcefully. You cried out, almost there, so close but so far.
“I- I’m pretty,” you whispered, tears rolling down your cheeks. He rewarded you sucking your clit into his mouth, the touch of fangs against your vulnerable flesh made you shudder.
“More,” he ordered.
“I’m beautiful.” Each word was rewarded by his fingers rubbing perfectly inside of you, a torture like any other, driving you insane with pleasure. “I’m hot.” Each word he forced out of you felt like he was taking a weight from your chest. You felt like you were going to float away.
“Yes. Yes, you are.” He kept playing with you, getting you close to the edge just to go away when you stopped talking. He forced you to be nice to yourself, to say all the things you didn’t believe you were. But he did, he believed. And for the moment, that might be enough. He thought you were beautiful, he thought you were hot. Maybe… maybe he was right. He never lied to you.
You were lost in your thoughts and the pain-pleasure he was giving you when he flicked his tongue over your clit as he hit your G-spot. “Come for me, pretty human. Show me how perfect you are.” And you did, falling apart around his tongue and his fingers. The attack on your senses crashing down onto you.
You had an out of body experience, the tears cool against your cheeks, your rapid breathing coming into short exhales as he played with your pussy to drive you further up. You came so hard you think you saw stars. You felt boneless, your body and your soul completely spent. You felt him cleaning you with a soft cloth, your eyes closing already.
“I will stay with you,” he murmured as you were falling asleep. You felt his arms closing around you, his hands caressing your body, from your wide hips to your soft tummy… He made you feel special, he made you feel beautiful.
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gloomwitchwrites · 1 day
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Secret relationship and they find out you're being transferred to a different team.
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Anon...how DARE you. But really, the angst that this prompt is giving is everything. I want to warn readers now that I was not nice with this one. There is a lot of angst happening here. There is nothing spicy about it. It's all pain with a little comfort sprinkled in for a few of our boys.
(Sorry not sorry)
These are presented in four individual double drabbles.
Content & Warnings: angst, mild emotional hurt/comfort, secret relationships, yearning, heartbreak, 141!reader
ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist
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John "Soap" MacTavish
“We’ve got two weeks!”
“Soap.”
“Can you believe that?”
“Johnny.”
Soap’s smile remains but melts slightly. “What?”
“I’m leaving.”
He chuckles. “We both are.”
You shake your head. “No. I’m leaving the team.”
Soap frowns slightly. “Retirement?” He shrugs. “Seem a bit young.” That smile returns and he saunters forward, his large hands grasping your hips. “Means we can go public.”
He leans in for a kiss, but your heart isn’t in it. Soap realizes the reluctance the moment your lips meet. “It’s something else,” he says.
You nod because that is all you can manage. Originally, Captain Price said he wanted to tell the team together, but he doesn’t know about you and Johnny. Soap needs to know first before the rest. If not, it’ll come as a blow and a betrayal. You can’t do that to him no matter what Captain Price says.
“I’m being transferred,” you murmur, voice breaking slightly.
Soap does not retreat. He rests his forehead against your own, eyes closing as he inhales. His arms slide from your hips to your back, drawing you against him.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper.
“We’ll figure it out,” he says rubbing your back. “We’ll figure it out together.”
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Kyle enters the meeting room. It’s the last one before everyone breaks for a month.
But there is someone missing.
Laswell and Captain Price talk quietly, their heads bent in conversation. Soap is showing something to Ghost on his phone.
You are not among them. You are not in your usual spot.
Laswell glances up and Price clears his throat. “We can start.”
“Hold up, Captain. We’re missing one.”
Kyle gestures toward the chair you usually sit in and Price frowns.
“Transferred on another mission,” interrupts Laswell.
Kyle says nothing, sinking into his chair. He listens but most of it slips right out of his head. The only thing he can think about is that you’re not here and you didn’t say anything.
When Laswell and Price are finished, and everyone begins to exit, Kyle lingers, intent on talking to Price.
“Not gonna talk about our missing team member?”
“Nothing to say,” shrugs Price. “Transferred this morning.”
Kyle swallows down the emotion rising in his throat. No one knows about the two of you, and if he pushes too much, he might reveal something he shouldn’t.
“Coming back?” asks Kyle.
“Eventually,” answers Price. “Not sure when.”
Eventually. There’s hope then.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
“You’re leaving.”
“Simon.”
“Did you plan on telling me?” You remain silent and Simon shakes his head. “Waiting for Price to do it?”
“That’s not true.”
Simon takes a step forward, entering your space. “I saw the transfer on his desk. I saw the date. How long have you known?”
“Does that matter?” you ask.
“Of course it does,” he snaps.
Simon is never angry, not with you. His anger is subtle which makes it more terrifying. This is something else. Simon is hurt, and you’re the cause of it.
“I’m sorry you found out like this. I planned on telling you.”
“When?” He’s closer now, towering over you.
“When I had more information.”
“More information?”
“I don’t know where I’m going or with who,” you add.
“Might not tell you until you get there. Happens all the time.”
You understand his meaning and know that Simon is right. Would you have left without telling him anything, only saying something once you’d left?
No. This thing between you might be tangled but he is the only one you want.
“Are you upset?” you ask.
Simon deflates. “Not with you.” He tugs you against him, creating a cocoon of warmth. “Never.”
John Price
The transfer papers mockingly stare at Price.
All this time, he believed he could have you without repercussion. Didn’t matter that you were another member of the team and his subordinate. You were his, and Price could protect you.
But these papers came from someone above him, and he cannot refuse them. No matter how much he wants to.
And no one knows what the two of you do when there isn’t anyone looking. But now, that’s shattered. Broken. And Price must grieve for your departure in silence. Price has already raged. He punched the wall until his knuckles bled.
After that, he walked until he came to terms with it.
You don’t know yet. You have no idea. Telling you will be the hardest part. What will happen? How will the two of you move forward? Can the secrets remain, or will it all need to be out in the open?
Price sighs and runs his hands over his face.
This is a punishment. Must be. Why else is it happening?
There is a loud knock at the door. Again, Price sighs, knowing that he has to face the reality of the situation.
You are on the other side.
taglist:
@glassgulls @km-ffluv @glitterypirateduck @tiredmetalenthusiast @spicyspicyliving
@childofyuggoth @miaraei @coffeecaketornado @aykxz98 @kayden666
@unhinged-reader-36 @pearljamislife @miss-mistinguett @keiva1000 @cherryofdeath
@enfppuff @berarenado @saoirse06 @ninman82 @no-oneelsebutnsu
@thewulf @lxblm @ferns-fics @ooldcardigan @beebeechaos
@enarien @sw33tsnow @kessi-21 @makayla-666 @lifes-project
@burn1ngw00d @heeheehoohoohahahihi @lulurubberduckie @ravenpoe67 @contractedcriteria
@lovely-ateez @gingergirl06 @leed-bbg @blackhawkfanatic @suhmie
@tulipsun-flower @ghosts-hoe @jaggersinclair @nomercyforthewarrior @dakotakazansky
@hantheconqueror @sapphichotmess
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theastrical · 3 days
Text
genshin men and their way of apologising
Genshin men and their ways of apologising.
kaeya, diluc, childe, (alhaitham, zhongli, kaveh on pt.2) x reader (fem!reader diluc)
ps: it’s comfort/hurt, a bit angsty but with fluffy ending!! Also if you guys have triggers with cursing, this content has cursing/verbal scolding implications so please mind that before reading!
Kaeya:
“stop doing this and that..you’ll end up being a burden.” He shuts off the door and locks it. You were just trying to help him, and unfortunately, he doesn’t like it. This happens quiet a lot, where he closed off all part of himself in order to heal himself…that’s okay, at first, but what about you? You’re hurt and he kept you out just like that; is he here to wound your heart just like the other exes who grew apart from you?
And when you start to lose your patience, he can’t do nothing about it, right? He’s just there to hurt-hurt-and make you feel as if you in deserve of such a treatment. You cried, it felt weird to cry over kaeya. He has been sweet, yes, you never doubted once that his act are truly meant for you, but at what certain point did you do to make him immediately switch up? You didn’t know, you never know. He never wanted to communicate, that’s the problem.
“if you don’t want me to help you, that’s fine, just please kaeya…talk to me like i’m a human, not somebody you can use when you’re happy. I also need a set of time to heal.” You say that-an automatic reply set on your brain to confront him even if it’s not face to face. Now door to door-you just scold him and leave.
It took him a huge amount of time to heal. he knows what he has done can’t be undone. Listening to your cries become his worst fear, he can’t just stand in front of your eyes and say sorry, he knows that wouldn’t work. That enough explains how much he hates apologising; because his apologies always ended up with him crushing over the burden of his sins.
That’s why, the next day, in the morning when you woke up. Kaeya is already there beside your bedside. Folding your palm between his. His head on the floor.
“i’ve taken your words and…* he sighs before continuing. “Apologies don’t really matter if i don’t change my attitudes, so please, if you’re still willing to give me one more chance, can i have the privilege to change, at least, for you?”…he stays quiet for a while. “Lastly, i’m sorry, i know all i did these yesterday and these past few months weren’t tolerable. I understand if you would hate me for this.”..he looks up to you, his eyes are already watery. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He hugs you and that felt so good…
A mark on your neck was left, a few peck it took for him to finally calm down. And he looks at you with a smile, even when his eyes are puffy. “I love you..thank you for still being here.”
Diluc:
Diluc came home quite late, it was unusual and it worries you, after all, since the day you married him. He had never been this late-he always come home with a huge surprise which is food…for obvious reason (he’s wants you to eat instead of cooking him a meal since he knew how exhausting it can be).
you were just about to ring up his phone-and suddenly a slam from the door was heard. You came to the first floor and..there’s diluc! “Diluc!” You grin, as always, you warmly greeted him, because it’s your husband, it’s diluc, what more reason to make you adore him?
You tried to help him get his bag and put off his jacket…but his bag was so heavy…whatever does he put inside his bag? Why is it so h— oh no! The bag suddenly hit your coffee cup and spilled the remaining coffee to the bag…now his bag is tainted with coffee and he-who saw that scene in front of him can’t even hide his raging eyes. Before one word to spit out-he gives off a long sigh-squinting his eyes.
“Why…sigh…it’s always you, you AND YOU who makes the worst mistake OVER AND OVER AGAIN! In the WORST TIMING AS WELL, CAN YOU—“ you replied, cutting off his words. “I-i’m so sorry diluc…i’ll help you with th—“ , “CAN YOU STOP CUTTING MY WORDS? Listen to me lady, it’s not about the bag or the papers, its about your presence…why helping you when you can’t even help yourself fix these problems, you’re helpless.”
He said that like a drunk man with no sanity behind his eyes, yet, this time, he’s actually sober, so sober he already pulled off that bag from your grip... He’s losing his patience and you know his words are the truth…still it hurts way too much. Why? Because it’s diluc, the one you called husband. tears fell and you don’t know what to do. It’s like your body doesn’t know how to move.
You look at his eyes, your mind went blank. You can sense his anger, but the tears never stop from your eyes. It’s like you just got hit by a truck. You try to left the living room to the bedroom upstair. At the same time diluc realise his action-you’re already up there-on the stair.
As soon as your foot step into the bedroom. You slowly loses the ability to numb the tears. You lay down on the comfy covers and then just cry. Sniffling. Without words, just cry and cry and cry. Realising that it was your mistake but..it hurts when he struck you with the truth that you’re useless in his eyes.
Diluc didn’t pay mind to pride when it comes to apologizing. Hence, when he heard the sniffling become louder in each breathe you took. He storms to the bedroom and hold your body to his embrace. Covering you from his face. Covering you from the cowardice and guilt he has to face. Securing you from his words..comforting you with his presence.
“sorry princess…don’t bother looking at my face if it means you’ll hate me…i don’t deserve the sight of your eyes…i don’t deserve anything.” He hugs you closer and strokes your hair, within each stroke, it felt like his hands have just won you again. “Thank you for helping me, it ease me a lot—that’s the word you need and i’m unable to fulfil that right..here i am, rejecting you, not acknowledging the effort you took just to wait for me.” He kisses your forehead before carrying you to sit on his lap. “but do believe that i’ll fix this mistake and beg on your knees if you need me to...” he look at your eye despite you not giving him a sight of your puffy eye.
“Anything for a second chance, for my princess.”
Childe:
you really love cooking. It’s something that nobody really knows-cause not evedybody has seen you cook or even taste the food you cook. You’re known to be secretive about everything; Even childe being your husband, only 2 of your 100 friends know-especially with the fact that topic is on your top 10 secret list.
And being in a marriage with childe means you’ll cook 24/7, which at first seems fine with you-but lately, you’ve been losing interest in cooking. It’s like..whatever you make is just a rating of ”it’s okay” for childe. It’s like he doesn’t even bother appreciating your food. So today, you’re trying to confront him…
He’s in a badmood-that’s why he doesn’t bother to try and reach out to you. Though it’ll be very thoughtful if you actually make him his comfort food right? And maybe if you did so, he would’ve complimented your cooking? Right! So you did and you’re so happy with the result! It taste perfect! So you began serving it onto the small bowl and put the food in front of him, you immediately get some spoonful of the food and put it inside his mouth-which is hot-like BURNING HOT. You know you fucked up so badly, so you get some water for him before he said “fuck!” so casually.
“W-what’s wrong..? Sorry i burned your tongue, i really am..!!! Please dr—“ he immediately cut you off. “No…i don’t want to eat dinner, the food doesn’t even taste good…” oh. “and thank you for burning my tongue as well! It certainly helps!.” He mocked you. “Now i can speak while enduring the pain! Right! That’s what you want your husband to feel, right?” He happily grins, a mockery. Childe immediately walked out of the dining room like a child.
And he scoffs silently on the hallway, even though it’s easy enough for you to listen because he talks to himself like he talks to another being. “I should’ve just searched for another person..i can’t stay with an idiot…” and that push you towards a realization that childe always have think of you as somebody who isn’t worth of his time. It’s like reality finally gives you a sign that he’s just one lucky pull you got. You didn’t cry. It gives you a numbing feeling, an empty one.
You sat on the dining table, taking out your apron, you get some bowl of the food and eat it by yourself. Because, like childe said, he wouldn’t eat dinner, so why bother waiting for somebody who can’t even appreciate you?
Eating alone is such a complex feeling, especially in a marriage. It feels lonely but peaceful. At least it can make your mind steady for whatever coming afterwards. You did feel a bit better but..the pain of his words never left you. It never did. It just makes the heart feel more numb as the seconds passed.
You sighed and…there he is, all shy and embarrassed behind the walls, he has been spying on you since 30 minutes ago…he’s guilty as charged. When you see him, you ignored him, immediately. Not wanting to share another eye contact with that man who have insulted your ways of loving him.
He follows you and hold onto your arm before you go elsewhere, who knows what will you do if his arms didn’t hold yours. Childe is embarrassed-guilt on his face and a coward on his heart. He made you wait for a good 5 minutes, he was waiting for you to say something..but instead, childe was met with cold air.
“i’m a loser for insulting your way of loving me. I’m dramatic. I’m a brat. I’m everything that you don’t want in a man.” His head can’t even meet yours. After all, your eyes are blank and it pierces his soul. “You don’t need to give me second chance. You don’t need to treat me right after what i’ve done. A bad deed is a bad deed.” With the courage of the final sentence; he hold onto your hand and kisses your fingertips. “I will win that cold heart of yours again and again, if it means i can live with you in every life to come.”
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Text
The Eye of the Hurricane [22] - Newcomers
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well, and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️
Summary: New deals mean new players.
Word Count: 2300
Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Warnings: Violence, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, dysfunctional relationship. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.
Series Masterlist
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You had always loved watching the city at night.
When you were little, after making sure everyone else at home were asleep, you would sneak out of your room to get to the terrace, and sit there for hours, watching the glimmering stars and the city lights. Even after you grew up, it still filled you with a sense of peace-
Well.
Until now.
You were so lost in your thoughts that you only noticed Bucky’s presence in the living room when he touched your arm to hold out a cup of coffee. You paused for a moment, then shook your head.
“No thank you,” you murmured and he put it on the coffee table, then clicked his tongue.
“You didn’t sleep last night?”
“I couldn’t,” you managed to say. “I know I said I’d come to bed, but…”
A silence fell upon you before Bucky heaved a sigh from behind you.
“Charm, last night—”
“Was the proof, wasn’t it?” you asked. “He doesn’t believe in me.”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“It makes it official.”
“It doesn’t matter if it’s official or not.”
You shook your head again and he clasped his hands over your shoulders, your eyes fluttering close for a moment despite your better judgement, a warmth spreading over your skin before you opened your eyes again.
“The therapist said open communication,” he told you, making you roll your eyes.
“You don’t even believe in all that.”
“You do,” he said. “And he said we’re supposed to talk about our feelings so, how do you feel?”
“I want to kill Ian.”
“I don’t think that counts as a feeling, Charm.”
“Not with that attitude, it doesn’t.”
A small chuckle spilled from his lips.
“Listen, you know I have no problems with killing him, but you told me yourself that it’s not the way to putting you on top. Besides—” he paused and shook his head. “Your father named him his heir, and he’s not an idiot. He would know that we killed him, which is fine by me but…”
“That’d officially put an end to the truce,” you finished his sentence for him. “It’d make me look just like Ian, and then no one would back me up because the whole reason why we’re doing this is to keep the truce.”
“Not the whole reason.”
You turned your head to look at him and he scoffed a laugh.
“Come on Charm,” he said. “You can tell everyone else whatever you want but part of the reason why you want that crown is because you want power. It’s not the worst thing in the world.”
You swallowed thickly and turned around to see him better.
“I want to keep the peace.”
“Never said you didn’t,” he murmured. “But someone has to be on that throne while keeping the peace.”
You ran a hand over your face.
“The meeting is next month with the rest of the bosses,” you said. “If my father named him heir, it means he gave him some sort of responsibility, something to give him the opportunity to show off. A part of the territory, or…”
“He wouldn’t give him a part of the territory,” Bucky told you. “Not with HYDRA attacking every territory. He can’t afford any security flaws.”
You arched a brow. “Shipment?”
“Shipment,” Bucky said with a nod of his head and you tapped your lips with your finger, stepping away from him.
“That could make things easier for me,” you said. “And to make sure he makes a mistake.”
Bucky grinned at you.
“You know how it works,” he said. “A lot of things could go wrong with the shipments.”
The question you wanted to ask him was on the tip of your tongue but before you could open your mouth, his phone started vibrating and he took a look at the screen, then held it up.
“Speaking of shipment,” he said. “Excuse me.”
He answered the phone and walked away from you, and you bit inside your cheek, massaging your temples. Your headache from last night was getting heavier by the minute the more you thought about it, so you pressed your palms on your eyes, then dropped your hands.
“I need a nap,” you muttered to yourself and made your way to the bedroom with Alpine following you.
                                            *
When you woke up from your nap to the nonstop vibration of your phone, it was already afternoon and as the note on bedside table told you, Bucky had already left for work. You rubbed at your eyes and grabbed your phone, pressing your lips together when you saw your father’s name flashing on the screen. For a couple of seconds, you considered not answering but the old habits were hard to shake off so you touched the screen and took the phone to your ear.
“Y/N, sweetheart,” he said. “I hope you weren’t busy?”
You bit inside your cheek, commanding yourself to be calm.
“Father.”
“We could barely talk last night,” he said. “How are you?”
“How do you think?” you asked back and he heaved a sigh.
“I’d rather it if we didn’t have this conversation on the phone,” he said, making you let out a dry chuckle.
“I agree.”
“But I’d like to invite you and Bucky for dinner whenever you’re free this week,” he said. “Your aunt is back in the city, she arrived this morning and she’s so excited to see you again.”
You rolled your eyes and made a face.
“She said that?”
“Of course. Despite some disagreements, we’re still a family and she knows it. So does Ian.”
You dragged the tip of your tongue over your teeth, willing yourself not to take the bait.
“I know you’re angry,” he said, making you raise your brows. “But in time, you will see that I’m looking out for you.”
“Oh do you now?”
“Y/N…”
“I’ll ask Bucky when he’s free this week,” you told him. “I can let your assistant know.”
“You can just let me know,” he told you. “It’d be a nice change, getting a phone call from you. Just saying.”
You bit back the retort and threw your shoulders back.
“Is there anything else, father?” you asked, your voice completely calm and he paused for a moment before heaving a sigh.
“No,” he said. “See you at dinner then.”
“Sure,” you said and hung up, then threw the phone on the other side of the bed with a groan. Alpine meowed from her spot on the floor and you hung your head off the side of the bed to see her better.
“Fathers, am I right?” you asked and she blinked at you, then made her way to you to plop down next to you. You reached out to scratch at her head and heaved a sigh.
“Do you want to come to that dinner?”
Alpine meowed again and ran back to her spot, making you click your tongue.
“Of course you don’t,” you said and sat up, then pushed yourself off the bed. “Very well then. Let’s text auntie Becca and Leila to see what they’re up to and if they want to go shopping with me. Some distraction can’t hurt.”
                                                   *
As it turned out, Becca and Leila were busy; Becca had therapy while Leila had to drop by her office to take care of some last minute changes. You did manage to distract yourself a little with shopping, and once you got bored you decided to pick up sandwiches from the shop you knew Bucky liked, then told your driver to take you to Bucky’s office.
When you got to Bucky’s office, his assistant greeted you and stood up.
“He’s about to be finished with his meeting, Mrs. Barnes,” she said as Bucky’s laughter reached outside, making you tilt your head.
“Sounds like a fun meeting.”
She offered you an apologetic smile.
“The sign of a deal gone well,” she said. “Miss Williams was already sure of herself when she walked in, I’m not surprised."
That made you arch a brow.
“Miss Williams?” you asked and she nodded.
“Mr. Barnes’ appointment,” she said, motioning inside and you nodded.
“Ah,” you said, your stomach doing an unpleasant flip for some reason before you threw your shoulders back. “I’m in a bit of a hurry actually, I’ll just—”
You didn’t even bother finishing your sentence as you walked to the door and knocked, then stepped inside and closed the door behind you. Bucky’s smile widened when he saw you and the woman sitting on the armchair across from his desk looked over her shoulder, letting you see her face.
Oh.
Well, apparently this Miss Williams was not only funny, but also very beautiful.
What you were feeling couldn’t possibly be jealousy of course, perhaps just mild irritation but you didn’t dwell on it as Bucky stood up to walk to you.
“Hi sweetheart,” he said, pressing a kiss on your temple. “Anna, this is Y/N, my wife. Y/N, this is Anna, our new shipment manager.”
You willed a smile on your face and walked to her as she stood up as well, then offered your hand.
“Nice to meet you.”
“Nice to meet you too, Mrs. Barnes,” she said with a smile as she shook your hand. “I’ve heard so much about you.”
“So have I,” you said as Bucky went to sit behind his desk again and you took the armchair across from her. “Sam speaks very highly of you, Miss Williams.”
“Please call me Anna,” she said with a wave of her hand. “And I’m forever in Sam’s debt. He was the first person to actually give me a chance in all this.”
“Sam has a talent for finding the best people for the job,” Bucky said, making Anna grin.
“I’ll make sure to tell him that.”
“No no, don’t,” Bucky told her. “He will hold it over my head forever.”
You bit inside your cheek, trying to shake off the discomfort pulling at your stomach before you crossed your legs.
“Oh but I must tell him,” Anna teased him. “He’s my first reference after all. There has to be some loyalty.”
“Can I by any chance buy your loyalty?”
“I wouldn’t be standing here if anyone could buy my loyalty,” Anna said with a grin, making Bucky chuckle.
“Very well then.”
It wasn’t jealousy.
Of course it wasn’t, you and Bucky weren’t even together.
In any case, you were irritated because this was a business decision and Bucky had decided to hire her without so much as your input, that was all.
That had to be it.
Anna’s phone beeped and she took a look at the screen, then gasped.
“Oh I completely lost the track of time!” she said, jumping on her feet. “I had another meeting, I’m so sorry.”
“Not a problem,” Bucky said, standing up as well. “So my people will send your people the details then.”
“That sounds good,” she said and shook his hand. “Looking forward to doing business with you, Bucky.”
First name basis.
Great.
“And it was a pleasure to meet you,” she told you and you nodded, giving her a smile.
“The pleasure is all mine.”
“I’ll see you later then,” she told Bucky and walked out of the office, then closed the door behind her. You tried to get rid of the bitter taste in your mouth, then cleared your throat, shifting your weight.
“The new shipment manager?” you asked and Bucky nodded.
“She’s a genius,” he told you, making you arch a brow. “Seriously, I thought Sam was exaggerating it, but apparently he downplayed it.”
You picked at a piece of lint on your dress, humming.
“I thought I was going to be involved in the business decisions,” you said, making him frown slightly.
“Yeah but this has nothing to do with your father’s business,” he said. “Or the plan. It’s just shipment, and I killed the last guy because he tried to kill me. You were there.”
“Right.”
“Sam vouched for her,” he reminded you and you shrugged your shoulders.
“Yeah I know, it’s just…” you trailed off and shook your head. “Never mind.”
“Charm.”
“I just think it’s funny you had no problem involving me when it was a guy, and now that it’s a very hot woman, you decided not to involve me.”
“That’s not what it’s—are you actually jealous?” he asked as if the mere idea was ridiculous and you let out a small laugh.
“Jealous?” you repeated. “Get over yourself Buck. You told me I would be involved in the business decisions, you can’t blame me for questioning whether it has changed.”
He gave you a chiding look.
“It hasn't,” he said. “Sam vouched for her, and it’s just one shipment right now as a trial period. I can give you her file if you want.”
You rolled your eyes and shook your head.
“No, if you decided she’s good, I’m not going to muddy the waters,” you said. “Trial period it is.”
Bucky narrowed his eyes. “And you’re sure it’s just the business side of things?”
You scoffed.
“No, this is me telling you I desire you carnally,” you spat, making him chuckle and hold up his hands.
“Fine,” he said. “Just asking.”
“I brought you lunch but if you’re going to be like this, I’ll eat what I brought in front of you—”
“You brought lunch?” he cut you off, staring at you and you nodded.
“Yeah, why?”
“Marry me.”
“Way ahead of you on that one,” you deadpanned, then let out a laugh. “Why?”
“I haven’t eaten anything whole day,” he said, running a hand through his hair. “What did you bring?”
“Sandwiches from that shop you like.”
“Jesus, you’re amazing,” he told you and you grinned, then stood up from the armchair.
“I really am,” you told him as you walked to get the paper bags from the waiting room. “Make sure to keep that in mind, will you?”
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drdemonprince · 11 hours
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i was on NPR talking about Autism shit two weeks ago, and i have the book sales figures from that week and that national media appearance had.... absolutely zero relationship to sales. on the typical week these days, 1,400 to 1,500 copies of Unmasking Autism will sell. The week that I was on NPR there was a slight dip; only about 1,300 books were sold.
i have done a lot of press for my books. For Laziness Does Not Exist I did easily a 100 damn podcasts and radio shows and newspapers and excerpts in magazines. none of it corresponded to a noticeable bump in sales. the biggest "get" my publicist found for my latest book was the Glennon Doyle show, a booking she and her team celebrated and then spent months clamboring excitedly for... it, too, had no obvious relationship to sales.
Unmasking Autism became a bestseller because some other guy made a tiktok about it, and then a bunch of tiktokkers made videos about it too. all on their own. without any prodding from me, or any relationship to me. it was completely organic, passionate, and sincere, and rooted in the book's true merits and usefulness to other people, and that's why it inspired lots of sales. and continues to more than a year and a half later. all the press I did for Unmasking Autism prior to the release of that tiktok did relatively far less. NPR, Goop, the LA Times, Lit Hub, Jacobin, Huffpo, the New York Times, the Financial Times, MSNBC, Business Insider. Didn't matter. at least not much. so why do i bother?
publishers really ride your ass trying to make you give lots of interviews and show up for lots of events but it's all based on the worship of traditional media and magical thinking that it will somehow convert listeners into buyers. and that's just not how it works. the truth is 95% of books never sell more than 5,000 copies, and most people don't buy books or read them. i love reading but i dont think this is itself some terrible loss, as most books are padded-out commodities made for sale more than a work of true artistic passion or scholarly merit, and sometimes listening to a 90 minute interview with an author tells you the bulk of what you need to know.
it's freeing to know that the effort i put into getting my books out into the world have almost zero relationship to the books' success. marketing just does not work. it's a relief. unmasking autism did fabulously because it's actually both good and useful. laziness has had a long life span because it speaks to real problems in people's lives and gives them a message they are desperate to hear. but no amount of thirsty ass online shilling will make somebody realize that and it's maddening to try. you just gotta focus on doing good work, work that you enjoy making or need to make and that you feel good about, let things flop if theyre gonna flop, and keep on living your life.
which is all good news because i really do hate a lot of these fucking interviews. how can i stomach being on npr or in the atlantic or whatever these days given how complicit nearly all major media outlets are in justifying this genocide. like who fuckin cares about them, who wants their approval. who needs it. it's of no value
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mswyrr · 2 days
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kanthony thoughts: rivals to lovers done right
I usually prefer Enemies to Lovers to Rivals to Lovers. What is the difference I see there, you might ask? Enemies are on opposite sides of a serious, life and death conflict, and rivals have issues with each other, but their rivalry takes place within the realm of everyday life. For me, I can forgive bad behavior within a serious conflict more easily than if the Rivals to Lovers couple goes over the top in a less serious situation.
I said all that to say: Kanthony is Rivals to Lovers done right. Below are the reasons I see for why.
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1- The writers keep putting them in situations where everyone around them is feeling competitive - horse racing, the yearly Bridgerton pall-mall game, the hunt. If everyone around them has their blood up and is vying with each other, it's understandable that the situation brings out the competitive energy and Belligerent Sexual Tension they're both feeling for each other. They don't seem to be going over the top because of some inner excessive pettiness; they're caught up in the spirit of the thing and it's unleashing their repressed feelings for each other.
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2- They are both competitive but also "good sports" - they conduct themselves honorably in these scenarios. No cheating, no getting too personal in their swipes at each other. They both love to compete and to win and hate to lose and they're bubbling over with repressed passion for each other, but they'll accept defeat without being childish or over the top mean. They maintain a sense of perspective, even when they're being passionate.
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3- Their banter is either sincere or appropriately artful. Example: at the soiree, after Kate hears Anthony talking about ladies as chattels to the other men, she takes a huge risk in confronting him about it- this is a very rich and powerful man and she is a smart person, she knows keeping her secrets close is the safest and best way to do things in her situation. But she cares about him and hates that he'd talk like that - so she speaks up. She longs to connect with him, to understand why he could say such a thing. For his part, he cares that she's so hurt by what he said, he cares about her opinion of him. They matter to each other. This is the "sincerity" category of banter.
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Kate saves her sharpest words for when they're alone, communicating two things (1) she likes this man enough that she's willing to risk being alone with him and tell him her truth and (2) he's eager to interact to the point of being willing to take that from her. He's willing to say "why do you hate me?" and truly want to earn her good opinion.
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The other kind of banter, the appropriately artful kind, is told indirectly through the competitive games they play. For example: at the horse race she uses talking about horses--and how Anthony has simply chosen the one everyone is choosing--to criticize him for seemingly choosing Edwina simply because the Queen has named her the diamond of this season. But their byplay is all indirect - neither is aiming to wound or publicly humiliate the other. They want to win, but not destroy.
Good "Screwball Comedy" era films (1930s-40s) did Rivals to Lovers this way too - the couple would banter *over something* with subtext going harder but the surface not being too personal - that's the art to good Rivals to Lovers, the delicate balance. It can't feel too much, too mean, or too little.
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4 - They are quick to have empathy and compassion for each other. They try to truly listen and see things from each other's point of view. The best example of this, to me, is the end of the pall-mall game - sure, they've been competitive. But Kate shares that she sees herself as a guardian for Edwina, like Anthony is for his sisters. And Anthony not only respects that - he says he sincerely wishes to earn her good favor. For her part, when her parting shot of the ball goes awry, landing near Anthony's father's grave, Kate senses something wrong and cares - she tries to understand how Anthony is feeling and why. She regrets if she "crossed the line" and went too personal - she's aware there IS a line and their rivalry doesn't justify wounding him deeply, even unintentionally. Anthony treats her with the same consideration as well.
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This point is VITAL to cross from rivals to lovers - they both want to understand and have compassion and empathy for each other. As they learn more and connect more, the rivalry part wanes (though they'll always love being competitive together - in a sportsmanlike way!) and the desire to connect and understand intensifies. It feels organic as the shift happens because both components have been part of things all along - the urge to compete and the urge to care and understand.
5- They are explicitly paralleled as similar people who have hurt the same way (and tried to cope with that pain similarly). This is true of my favorite EtL ships: the baddie is often symbolically representing part of the goodie or a dark mirror of them etc. RtL often foregoes this so the rival is, like... just some random jerk?? But when they're mirrors or connected on a deeper level, compassion and empathy for the other is compassion and empathy for themselves too - vitally important with two people who don't "listen" to their own hearts like Kate and Anthony. They've buried them deep - but they can "hear" by listening to each other and caring. They can process their own feelings that way and learn self-compassion and self expression.
It's really good and if more Rivals to Lovers was done this well I'd love it! The writing here is certainly a template I'd turn to for inspiration if I ever write an RtL pairing.
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r0-boat · 3 days
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Hi, I love your WHB headcanons, they make me smile all the time! I don't know if I can request something, ignore this message if it's not allowed! But if you can…
Can you tell us how you think the Kings (especially Satan and Lucifer) would react to finding out their MC's birthday? Would they give you some gift or perhaps for them, immortals, birthdays are a useless celebration?
Thank you very much for all your wonderful work! And…sorry if my English is horrible
Oh my gosh celebrating your birth would be a special occasion let's see how these kings celebrate it
Whb Kings celebrating your birthday.
Sfw cut for length
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Satan
The nobles celebrated together in the hall of the castle. They have a party what humans call a potluck. Where they bring their own food and snacks and their gifts.
Since demons live so long their birthdays are not as celebrated except for maybe the birth of their kings. But even then a birthday was not really a devil thing. But that didn't mean they They didn't like doing it They want to celebrate birthdays the way humans do and what better way to celebrate it with a human!
They want to do everything a human does at their birthday even the most silliest things like pinatas or pin the tail in the donkey everything anything you mentioned they will add it. But they also want to celebrate you in a devil way so you end up just getting this weird mix of demon human celebration.
The nobles and Satan are celebrating your birthday together but later Satan will give you an extra special gift ;)
Mammon
His version of parties are more relaxed with golden ballrooms fancy dresses and suits with expensive wine and catering. He will grant you anything on your birthday and for your party anything you wish. Of course unlike the other demons he will not be talked in out of making your party what you deserve. Your venue will be at a golden Mansion with hot tubs pools endless five star foods.
Anything you suggest he will pump it up to tenfold. At a park? No problem You shall have your party at a beautiful garden venue with exotic flowers plants and fruits. In a familiar place like his house? No problem He shall make it work. (Bimet with a money donation booth)
Your cake must have the least be five tiers. All five flavors and fillings as well as designed to your desire. You will be working with a five-star bakery and they will provide samples to make sure your cake is to what you desire.
"anything you want my dearest, this day is yours I will make sure your birth is celebrated as a national holiday"
Leviathan
He keeps your birthday a secret He wants to be the only one celebrating it! And he gets mad jealous if you ever tell anyone. Of course you throw a hissy fit. And Levi assures you that he'll give you enough gifts to make up for the fact only he knows.
Listen Levi may be an envious little bug but he has his limits... He knows he'd rather be celebrating the day of your conception and he realizes the special day since he never had a birthday himself nor he wanted to celebrate his birthday because of his past. He doesn't even remember what day it was.
Anything you want any wish you want to Grant for the entire day he is yours. And I guess the other Hades nobles will give you gifts as well since you made such a big stink about it.
If you ever mentioned to celebrate your birthdays together his eyes will go wide and his job will go slack. You're willing to share a special occasion with him? He just fell even deeper for you.
Beelzebub
Parties are a Abyssos specialty! your party will be a grand celebration. Wild and fun not like the parties in Tartaros we're rich people got like fancy little birds with their tiny fancy drinks and little crackers and cheeses, chirping about how rich they are. A real party!
And of course the grander the party the more strict the planning will be. Beelzebub takes these parties very seriously You can call him a party aficionado. Of course what you want also matters so he will ask Bael to keep notes because he'll probably forget. You can pick the venue pick the snacks it's starting to sound more like a wedding than just a birthday party.
It will have the most fun most lively most wild venue. Devils from across the seven kingdoms will hear about it and want to come bringing gifts to party in Abyssos. The nobles and King talking excitedly how this will be the greatest party in millenia. Will it last a day no a whole week of partying!
It will take A LOT of talking if you want your party to be anything other than the greatest celebration that Abyssos has to offer. In the end you'll just get sad pouty puppy Demons just wants to give you the best that Abyssos has to offer and parties are their specialty :(((. They will give in because it's what you want and whatever the birthday human decides.
Lucifer
Angels do not celebrate birthdays The only birthday they celebrate is either God or Jesus. So it completely slipped his mind until you mentioned it. His eyes went wide Oh yeah human celebrate their birth...
He's not one to ask for a party or anything, He brings you flowers and gives you cake and a little gift. The gift is the most expensive thing he always gets you jewelry or something you like.
Asking you out for birthday dinner is something he would probably do too. The other citizens of Paradise lost is allowed to celebrate as they please. Gamigin is not okay with this He is planning a party for you right now. Lucifer thinks it's unnecessary but he will attend anyway.
He tells his subordinate to please keep in mind that your day should be up to you. And if the young dragon is planning on anything you do not want he will be punished.
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Okay here I come with thoughts that I'm not sure many people will be on board with, but I'm gonna share anyway because who cares! Wandee Goodday is doing a fantastic job selling characters who are ridiulous, and many of them are charming. I'm gonna talk about the guy who isn't. Charming that is.
I Think Ter Is In The Closet
And I'm only using bits from episode 4 to demonstrate this. Sorry if you need more to be convinced.
Ter is a strange character because we meet him through Wandee, when he's still up on a pedestal. That image almost immediately gets crumpled and tossed into oncoming traffic to be flattened in a rubbery, Bangkok traffic death. Dee confesses his feelings and Ter insists he's straight. He's straight. He's straight! He likes women, not men. Sorry. To make matters worse, he pulls the asshole move of just asking Dee to leave the scholarship to him.
These men have known each other for eight years. Eight fucking years and this is where things are going? If we know how much of a disaster Dee is, then it really makes me wonder what disaster side of himself Ter has (aside from what we know).
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(thinking them gaaayyy thoughts) (also this weirdo doesn't listen to music while working out? no wonder he's the devil)
Ter is recalling the moment when Yak came into the hospital with flowers for Dee, called him tee-rak, and the two of them are looking at each other like. Like That.
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Super normal for a hetero dude to focus on that part of his long-term colleague's life. And if he were a huge homophobe, I could understand it being a possible upset, but then he wouldn't be so close to Dee if that were the case. This is Golf Tanwarin we're being led by here.
Our Devil Doctor is pulled out of his train of thought by the appearance of a shirtless Plakao
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Guys, I won't lie to you, I yelled NO aloud because for a second I thought he was going to have his come to Jesus with our favorite asexual king, and as an asexual who worships Plakao and how amazing he is, I just wasn't gonna have it!
And the first thing Ter notices? Kao is alone - specifically, he isn't accompanied as usual by his bestie Wandee. So Ter immediately interrupts his workout to question him. Kao responds that Dee's with his boyfriend now, which prompts more questioning about their relationship from Ter.
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Yeah, Ter. What's it matter to you?
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You turned Wandee away because you're straight. So, obviously that's a no, right? Right?
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Not addressing that then. Okay. We'll just hit the skip button for that dialogue option, I guess.
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As a tenured colleague and friend, that would be the natural reaction to this. Kao is a wise, wise man, and like many an asexual, he has done the work of figuring himself out while living in an allonormative world (while also recognizing he likes men! I cannot stress enough how beautifully nuanced his okay). From what he understands (and is stating for Ter to ponder), is that this would make sense for someone who doesn't harbor any other kinds of feelings toward Dee and until recently, has been on good terms with him.
But Ter doesn't get to ponder because he gets called away and immediately forced to face Dee happily walking hand in hand with Yak. It's awkward. Dee excuses himself and Yak. And then Ter's eyes foooolloooww.....
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And later he gets back to his room with the number of the beast and fondly recalls when Dee used to leave snacks on his door....
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(crowd goes awww)
But this guy can't help but notice while he's doing an evening workout -
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Hey! There are Dee and Yak again! Being all cute in the pool! It's too coincidental! (He had not considered that his colleague works at the same place and has a similar schedule, therefore all this appropriately timed boyfriendism could only happen within that schedule)
So he has to conclude that it isn't real.
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Little does Ter know that it was originally intended for YakDee to be fake boyfriends; that he'd stumbled upon the truth immediately. What he wasn't expecting was for Dee to double down not only to not be caught plotting like that, but because he's way further into his feelings for Yak than he is fully aware of.
I cannot stress how interesting it is so see this man be so obsessed over their relationship. Anyone who would call themselves a close friend or colleague would simply be happy for Dee, maybe warn him about some people who are less accepting if that were an issue, and then continue focusing on whatever it is he's doing for the scholarship. And maybe he does focus on the scholarship - we aren't shown his side of it because it's not important - but if that's true and his secondary focus is theorizing that Dee's relationship is fake? TER? WORSTIE?????
And then this happens!
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Now I've seen a lot of people taking this as manipulation and I'm not going to call them wrong. It is exactly that. But I think he's also seeing if maybe he missed a chance? It wasn't that long ago that Dee was reminiscing about the past eight years together and Ter had decided the scholarship was more important than pursuing whatever thing they had between each other. Ter is realizing he doesn't want to throw either of them away, but still has his heart with the money. So he improvises a lame little plea, it's badly executed, and we get sad eyes watching Dee leave.
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I would've expected him to curse under his breath, or have some sort of small scale tantrum after that interaction if he was fully planning to manipulate Dee like that. His melancholy here is what has me thinking that it wasn't well thought out, and there's a part of him who cares about his relationship with Dee and wishes it could carry on as it used to.
Ter continues to obsess. We know he'd immediately seen the story Dee posted, and it seems he's returning to it again (knowing social media habits, he's likely checked it several times in between).
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CAUGHT.
Kwan, in contrast to Ter, is also Dee's colleague. She finds him and his boxer boyfriend just charming!
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This line kills the entire conversation. There's very obvious tension about this subject.
To me this is where Ter has kinda said the quiet part out loud. He's more concerned about his own image. To whom? His family? His patients? Future opportunities? To himself? Not that there's nothing for Dee to be worried about (this is in Thailand where gay marriage is not legal yet, after all), but he has had a good reception of being publicly queer so far. Is that due to his queerness being more pronounced? Has Ter ridden for most of his life on being able to pass as straight because he was afraid of the consequences?
I'm gonna take a hard left for a moment, and then redirect.
There's a scene in the film To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar where a sheriff (who has had an altercation with a drag queen and is looking for her for severely homophobic reasons) sits in a saloon and essentially narrates gay erotica aloud like he's trying to process the concept of homosexuality. He's disturbed about the idea. The people around him are also disturbed by his imaginings. It almost gives the sense that his thoughts come from desire, but he's been taught too much hate about that desire to recognize it.
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And this is the moment where I just felt sorry for Ter. It seems like he maybe has some deep-seated denial, and it's being overturned by everything Dee is doing. It doesn't excuse him, but shit's gotta suck. And it's clear his disturbance with the idea of Dee having gotten over any feelings for him will be hard to reckon with on top of deciding how he feels about Dee himself. P'Golf does their antagonistic and confused gays well.
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honeytonedhottie · 5 hours
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maintaining/creating a social life⋆.ೃ࿔*:・🧁
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ok so i used to have HORRIBLE social anxiety and i think that the contrast between me with social anxiety and me now is INSANE. in a good way ofc. so im not going to talk about how i overcame social anxiety, instead im going to talk about how i created a social life ✨
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MAKING FRIENDS ;
the science of making friends is simple and im about to explain it. so go to where there are ppl that u can relate to/want to relate to. example being school, clubs, etc.
next, observe who u want to befriend and make sure to start with a compliment. starting off by introducing urself just makes for an awkward conversation but starting with a compliment puts u and the other party at ease.
something thats rly important is ur CHARISMA and ur magnetic energy so be CHARMING ✨ if u find that the other party is not reciprocating its either they're uncomfy, uninterested, or just a weirdo. and in all cases, you should stop.
MAKING FRIENDS THRU FRIENDS ;
make friends with your friends friends -> make friends with their friends -> and so on and so forth. this is how you network and create a friendly status with lots of people.
if ur in a school setting like i am, make friends with people in ur own grade or in a higher up grade, i dont usually make friends with ppl in lower grades but ofc there are always exceptions.
making friends through friends is how u get invited to parties, have more opportunities be available to you, and ofc network for more connections. guys connections are literally EVERYTHING.
MAKE TIME FOR UR FRIENDS ;
make sure to learn who u call friends. when is their birthday? do they have specific preferences? what kind of music do they listen to? knowing ur friends makes them feel special and thats how u learn to be a good friend. i can make a whole POST about being a good friend cuz i've learned and grown so much with that.
THE POWER OF A COMPLIMENT ;
make it ur mission to give a compliment everyday cuz first off, being nice is HOT so pls be nice and second of all, if ur trying to talk to someone and u start with a compliment i promise that it'll go so much better.
if ur thinking "thats so awkward how will i do that" then the category dont be shy is one that u gotta read cuz girl 💀. if u need an example i'll provide one from my own experience so u can see the power of a compliment.
there was this girl in my spanish class and i always thought that she was so pretty and she seemed so nice. one day we bump into each other in the bathroom and i compliment her hair and makeup, she responds well. we continue to have friendly interactions throughout the rest of the school year and now we are good friends on and off campus.
DONT BE SHY ;
when u make friends please please PLEASE work on ur confidence first. you need to be SURE of yourself. if not, when ur being friendly it could come off as desperation and ppl will humiliate, make fun of and take advantage of u. and thats NOT hot.
be CONFIDENT, you literally have nothing to lose. when u shed ur shyness (thru things like exposure therapy etc) a whole new world is opened up for u bcuz sometimes the only thing holding u back is urself and ur limiting beliefs about urself.
MAKE UR PERSONALITY SHINE ;
make sure that know ur own personality and from knowing that u can find ways in which u can make it shine. no matter what ur personality is though, something that i cannot stress enough is BE NICE.
be friendly and amicable with everyone and stay out of drama and if drama comes to you then stay unbothered 😭. dont try and uproot ur own personality to copy someone else's.
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