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suguruplsr · 5 months

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Agoraphilia

featuring.. Toji Fushiguro

✰ ✰ ✰ What's life like for Toji when he's dating a celebrity? A celebrity that just so happens to be you. And of course, life's nice.. but you just can't keep your hands off him. Who cares about paparazzi? Let 'em see.

,, model/influencer! Toji x fem actress reader , fluff + smut w/ small crack , based off “agora hills” by doja cat , toji is referred as a Zenin w/ small angst + comfort about it , PDA , dirty talk & pet names , mentions of sex in public places + limousine scene , mention of fans taking clips of you two kissing/ getting a bit touchy , choking , oral (f & m) , face fucking , riding + unprotected , clit licking , he spanks you once , reader wears makeup , you guys got recorded having sex (only audio + it was non-con) , exhibition kink (reader and toji aren’t that bothered abt anything at all) , it’s a lot pls lemme know if i missed smth <3

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- divider @/benkeibear

Toji would say he has a good life. food, expenses always paid, access to practically everything in life, plus a big area to work out (his favorite), nice mansion, clothes, money, cars, and a lovely woman who is the love of his life, you. you’re quite the famous actor, making six figures and playing in multiple series that he makes sure to religiously watch. cuz’ he loves to see his woman on the big screen. and it’s not like he doesn’t work, mostly modeling and unexpectedly becoming an influencer, a good use of his name he’d say. posting workout videos and rating shit with his most honest opinions. there’s definitely complications of his most out of pocket opinions.

and perhaps there are a few things toji could say he doesn’t like about dating a famous person. like your fans. before your relationship was public, those damn losers had no restraints, trying to meet you in random places with any chance they had or getting touchy when you allowed hugs at meet and greets. he hates it even more when they try to touch you while you’re walking through the big crowds at events. like, let a woman be.

there’s other pet peeves, like nosy interviewers or weird directors you ended up working with, only to drop from their cast out of disgust. things any normal person would find annoying. the worst? pda. okay, it isn’t a pet peeve. but he wasn’t expecting someone as private as you to be all over him like you do. at first, he thought it was because maybe you just get bored out and about, but no. you just.. really fucking love him. and his dick of course.

“Somethin' different about you

Love it when he hit and smack too

Baby, let me lick on your tattoos”

“fuck, you’re wild.” toji grins against your lips, pulling away to adore the needy look covering your face. you two were laid in bed, him leaning on the headboard with you on his lap. a place you always find yourself at. you bit your lip, looking up at him with eyes full of want. “yea, just f’you though.” you didn’t understand the exact feeling you have for the large man. it’s more than just love. but it was something that you could only convey with physical affection most of the time.

you just need him, to feel him, to show him just how much you want him. you feel so comfortable with him. you two have been dating for over five months, already smothering each other in love in every way possible. “so corny baby.” toji, shakes his head, yet with an undeniable smile forming as you trace the tattoo that reached from his right shoulder up to his neck.

it was simple, a snake with an arrow shooting through it. you remember on a hot summer night, you two were laying in bed and just learning each other's bodies with small touches and kisses. you were on his chest when toji explained to you the meaning of his tattoo. rebirth and healing. to signify him not only getting away from the toxic environment of his family, but also healing from it. at that time, you didn’t know all the details. you knew what kind of people his relatives are, but to think they could’ve treated their kin in such ways broke your heart.

that day, you, drunkenly, swore to kiss and love that tattoo to hopefully give him the love he didn’t receive.

you still do.

“yea? you love me though.” you grin, making toji hungrily chase after your lips. it was messy, something you two love in your own way. raw and undefined as your lips lock perfectly. you hold onto his shoulders, him pushing you down into the duvet and towering over you. your eyes open slowly as he pulls away with a parting bite on your lips, so dreamily and entranced by him.

“damn right. can’t get enough of you.” he chuckles, sitting back to spread your legs. to think someone like him feels the same way as you. sometimes you think you’re too much, but he might argue the opposite. toji gives a small slap on your thigh, tugging away your panties to bless himself with the sight of your wet pussy. “can you eat me out t’night?” you whine, lifting your legs up as he gets comfortable between them.

his head disappears under, mouth muffled into your skin as he kisses your clit. “was plannin’ on it..” and he gives a fat stripe in your folds, causing you to gasp and lock your legs around his neck. he continues, amused with your ‘response’ and holding your thighs to pull you closer. he licks up and down, no care for your squirming and teasingly rolling the muscle around your bud.

“mm’yea love your big tongue toji~ wan’ it in me!” you whimper, tugging his hair and eliciting a guttural sound from him, his dick twitches in his sweats, tongue entering your pussy that welcomed him in with no qualms. the taste of your juices has toji moaning in your cunny. he gets sloppy, careless with his movements and flexing his tongue as deep as he can, kissing your folds periodically or opening his mouth wider to suck your clit and have you pull his hair harder.

“That's true that I like PDA, take it to a seedy place

Suck a little dick in the bathroom”

“you really into this?” toji grunts as you nod, keeping your crouched balance on your heels and unzipping his pants. amazing really, he thinks. you two were at some function hosted by a friend, snucked in a bathroom that someone is surely going to bang on if you two take too long. “yea, it's somethin’ we shouldn’t do. but fuck, you look so good.” you pout, fishing out his cock and kissing the tip. you don’t want to waste time, melting from the taste of his length and letting it sit on your tongue.

“really? shit.. c’mon baby, just get on your knees. i’ll get you a new pair of tights.” toji grits his teeth when you obey, giving your ‘thanks’ by taking his girth down your throat. you hold one of his thighs, other hand finding the base of his cock and jerking off what you couldn’t reach. it’s almost humiliating how quickly toji’s muscles are tightening, falling weak to the feeling of being so deep in your throat.

you let go of his cock, hands now clutching his thighs, and looking up at him all teary. he knows what you want, for him to just fuck your face and cum down your throat. he’s hit the fucking jackpot.

toji reached down with two hands, mindful of your hair that took so long to do and settling for grabbing the sides of your head. “want me to fuck your throat huh? yea ya do. gonna get rough baby.” he smiles, watching you get closer to him, wanting whatever he’s going to give you. he gives a low moan as he eases himself completely down your throat, you hollow your cheeks expertly, flush against his pubes before he begins moving.

he fucks your throat harshly, holding your head still as you moan around his dick. you look up at him through your blurry eyes, and he’s so handsome. jaw clenched with the veins in his arms popping, he gives one particularly hard thrust, slowing a bit and giving you time to actually suck his cock. the warm cavern of your mouth is just perfect, something that he could never want to get rid of.

“oh shiiit, fuck, fuck, fuck. fuckin’ love your mouth, gonna make me cum baby.” toji blabbers, groans filling the walls as you roll your tongue around him as much as you can. his voice, all deep and raspy, makes your pussy wet. closing your legs tight together and rubbing them to try dealing with the growing heat between your legs.

he pushes his hips forward, making you choke. “sorry baby, j-just gonna— fuck. gonna cum down this throat.” toji moans, looking down at your expression, he almost feels bad for the way he’s ruined your face. but he knows you love it, every single time. there’s loud wet sounds reverberating throughout the rest room. both of you hearing little ‘shlicks’ as spit drips from your lips and coats his cock. you squeeze your eyes tight as when he stops, your nails digging into the fabric of his pants while his dick basically quivers in your mouth.

you can hear the thick lump of cum before it pours down your tongue, pussy throbbing at the salty taste as the warm liquid slides down your throat until it turns into tiny little spurts. opening your eyes, you see toji’s head thrown back, body shaking in pleasure as he gives a drawn out moan. “d-definitely should do that often..” he mumbles.

“Who that man with the big strong hands On her ass in the club with the paps?" Baby, that's you”

‘whose the guy you were dancing with at the club in your recent post?’

you read the question aloud, already feeling giddy once you remember your activities over the weekend. “oh! that’s my boyfriend!” you grin, watching how the comments flowed faster through the insta live. it’s not like you hid him, if anything, you’re just always seen with him. but maybe he’s been mistaken for a bodyguard? you ponder. thinking about the recent comments and articles about you, they’ve never seen his face. well, at least not anywhere around you.

a damn shame. such a handsome man. your, handsome man.

‘yea who is he? he was so big lmao.’

“toji— wait!” you pause yourself before you let your big mouth rant, flipping the phone on the couch as you run through the house. you really hope that by some miracle they weren’t able to hear the name that slipped from your lips. considering you never really talked with the man about publicity, especially with all the extra things PR and management might force onto you.

shaking your head, you open the door of your gym room. if you could even call it just a room, toji was in the middle of his set of planks, headphones on and shirtless with a pair of baggy shorts. you almost let yourself get distracted, eyeing his sweaty form as you walk over to him. how the hell can he be so broad? well, you’re seeing in real time how he does it— but fuck, the mere structure of his neck and shoulders makes you want to wrap your legs around him.

“hey beautiful.” toji grunts, sitting himself up at the sound of his timer ringing through his ears. he slides off the headphones, grabbing the towel you hand to him and taking a sip of his water bottle. you stay silent, biting your cheek as you think about your next words. “what’s wrong?” he sighs, and you immediately cave, giving an exaggerated groan. “okay so maybe i may have just accidentally said you’re my boyfriend on live like three minutes ago and perhaps i could’ve just made a really really big mistake that i kinda want but i was just wondering—“

toji stands up with a chuckle, stopping your small rant with a pat on your head, hand moving down to hold your flustered face. “what’re you tryin’ to say baby?” “i was getting to that. but would you like, want to go public with me? like y’know.. actually tell people we’re dating..” you mumble, looking down as he shrugs. “i thought we already were since ya drag me practically everywhere. but go ahead. i don’t mind.” and you gasp, no way.

but it seems to be yes way from the kiss of affirmation toji gives you on your forehead before you run, more like slide, through your house in glee. getting back to your phone and confirming the wild comments that didnt stop.

“so yea, im dating toji zenin. y’know that hot guy from that one family..”

“Hot News! Actress [Name], popular for her character in — reveals that’s she’s dating the distinguished model, Toji Zenin, a workout influencer who is also a part of the well-known family—“ read more at…

“Front-seat chillin' with the window down I be ten toes down on the dash, gettin' fast food”

“that shit better be f-fucking soundproof..” toji groans as you shuffle his cock out his slacks. giggling with a sweet smile on your face that rivaled the dirty stuff you’ve whispered in his ear the whole ride. you have too much on your mind about your man to think about the partition separating you two from the driver. “it is.. maybe.” you mumur, mindlessly running your thumb along the slit of his cock. it glistened with pre, leaning towards you with small twitches as you greeted it with your lips.

you kiss the tip, purple lipstick stanning the lightly red muscle as you go further down. you have to remind yourself you can’t play with the hefty balls stuck in that stupid clothing, opting for simply pressing on them, knowing that was enough for him to shift, trying to feel the friction more. “fucker better not look at us weird— fuuuck baby, yea, just like that.” toji desperately wants to push your head further down as the warmth of your mouth envelops him.

you’re devilish. doing more that just sucking his cock and getting him off quickly. the image of him getting ready earlier was plaguing your mind, and even just the way he sat across from you ten minutes ago had you salivating. legs spread for freedom as his dark eyes watched you munch on the snacks left on the small table. you can’t get enough toji. but you damn sure are trying by bobbing your head up and down, not moving too fast, lips sucking tightly so he could hear the nasty sounds of spit.

“doin’ so good f’me. you can go a bit deeper, mhm, yea you can.” toji coos, placing a hand on the back of your neck, appreciating the show of your skin and running it comfortably. but it was so big for him to wrap it around your neck, choking you from behind and lifting your head up to see your fucked up face. or to push you further down, listening to the gurgling sounds as you choke on his length. “shit. that’s so hot baby.” he grunts, pulling you up for relief as you hiccup, clearing your throat and looking over at him.

you’re so gorgeous, he think— knows. the way your expensive ass make up was ruined, mascara and eyeliner smudged and he thinks some stained his pants too. but he could care less. especially from the way you kiss his jaw, him tilting it back further so you could paint it in little bits of purple lipstick that was left on your lips. “a few blocks away. please, lemme make you cum toji.” you whine, pouty lips meshing all over his skin as you move onto his lap, rolling up your dress.

thankfully, you were wearing a mini version of your sleeveless dress. allowing you to grind into his length, feeling the fat cock between your thighs. maybe you should post a small review to fashion nova later.

“baby.. fuck, don’t look at me like that.” toji grunts, falling victim to your puppy eyes as you eagerly move to align him with your hole. you take him in one go, both of you moaning as you fall onto his lap with a ‘plop!’. you love it, the familiar sensation of his dick molding your sweet insides, it’s like your comfort place. soothing you into placing your head onto his chest as your mind processes the feeling of him inside you. “makin’ me do all the work huh?” he scoffs, bringing his hands to your sides and starting to bounce you on his cock.

he didn’t have any remorse, you started this. he sets a quick pace that has you clawing his button up, each ‘plap!’ of your flesh meeting leads to his dick reaching up into your goey walls and hitting your g-spot. over and over again. “toji.. mm fuck, i love your dick..” you mumble, head tilting back with your tongue lolling out, too fucked out to even understand anything. only able to comprehend how good your man’s dick feels.

well at least the driver knows too?

“Hot News! Limousine driver goes viral for breaking the law and uploading an audio with the sounds of his clients apparently having sex in the back of the car. It’s not said who the people are, but fans suspect it might be—“ read more at…

“Hope you can handle the heat, put your name in the streets

Get used to my fans lookin' at you”

“baby they’re lookin’” toji groans, holding you tightly as you pepper his face in kisses, even daring to go lower to the skin of his neck that peeked out his collared shirt. “and?” you huff. you came to the airport to pick him up. and who were you to not love your man after nearly a month of being apart?

sure you could’ve waited, but fuck, you just missed him. “c’mon baby. i don't like those cameras on ya.” toji feels hot, something about knowing his woman having no care for the rest of the world does something to him. the clicks of cameras seemed infinite, and he almost felt bad for the bodyguards surrounding you two, keeping the phones and curious people at bay.

“just one more..” you mumbled into his skin, an arm reaching up around his neck and pulling him in. there was a loud sound of ‘aw’s and cooing as you two kissed. and despite his previous words, it edged toji on a bit, making him press further into you, leaning closer. his body trapped you, not letting you leave for air and keeping your lips locked. your tongues battled against each other, his winning and exploring your mouth so vigorously it made you whine against him.

as soon as your legs buckle, too hot and bothered from his actions, he pulls away, a string of saliva connecting your lips until he gives you one more quick n’ sloppy kiss. “we’re gettin’ out of here. fuckin’ wet arent’cha?” he whispers, grinning when you nod quickly, wrapping your arms around him as he picks you up.

the men in black surround you two through the paparazzi until you reach the designated ride. your head was tucked into his neck as toji throws the crowd a smirk, winking before shuffling you two into the car.

“Hot News! Famous actress, [Name], seen to be making out with her newly introduced boyfriend, the, Toji Zenin. is this a good pair? there’s already clips of—“ read more at…

“Fuck what they heard, I don't fuck with them birds

I'm a mean kitty, don't get stabbed with the rat tooth”

“shit baby. i think someone saw us last friday.” toji grunts, turning on the bed, phone in hand and showing your groggy self a video. it’s kinda blurry, the recorder whispering to themselves and getting a glimpse of you and toji sneaking away from a small secluded area. in the video, toji was close behind you, fixing the back of your dress as you fixed your messed up lip gloss. you only hum, reading the caption,

‘saw them at the VMA awards last week.. were they doing you know what? in public too?’

you grin up at toji, bringing a hand up to read through the comments. most of them were assumptions that you two did fuck. considering there’s already a few small infamous clips of you two kissing or getting touchy in public places. you notice that people mention it to be shameful, which you admit, it kinda is.

it’s only shameful if you feel shame.

“you don’t care huh?” “nah.” you giggle, watching him put away the phone before pulling you over onto his chest. you give a small yelp, looking down at his tired form and dragging your hands along his body. “why not baby? don’t you gotta rep? hope y’r not getting emails or stuff about this too..” he sighs, gripping the plush of your thighs and meddling with it as you lean down to kiss him.

“yea, but i don’t care. we still get offers, opportunities and stuff. everything’s well. soo..” you shrug, making him laugh as you grind on his chest. you two were barely clothed after your activities last night, your panties being the only thing keeping your cunt from his defined muscles. “you’re crazy.” and you grin, “your love’s got me lookin’ so crazy right now—” “oh hush, c’mere n’ kiss me..”

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sinligh · 11 months

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I woke up hyperaware of every inch of my body. A bone must be missing, a tooth or two my hair feels like an extension of the pillow that i hide my dreams underneath

And my head is too heavy with the weight of everything I said i will think about later…

Childhood, adolescence, adulthood

It all overlaps sometimes, and I worry that my childhood is all I’m going to grow up to live and relive.

I worry that it’s a punishment,

Like Prometheus; that I’ll spend my nights picking at it trying to cleanse myself from all that a young version of me wasn’t strong enough to process

only to wake up and realize I’m carrying it between my ribs again.

To be pregnant with another girl that will relive my life like I’m reliving my mothers.

I’m overthinking again

Stages of life like gates to the many graveyard’s that I have built inside me.

A sanctuary

A place of residence to all the feelings i had no time to over analyze.

I digged my phone from underneath the pillow, something must be said..

A phantom of the words that are trying to escape is at hands reach..

An Aura. A migraine.

Its 04:51 am. The sun didn’t rise yet, why am I awake again?

Thoughts are fighting each other for a way out, like a newborn waiting to be called by a name, any would be fine; as long as it gets acknowledgment.

On my way to the bathroom, i stumbled upon keywords

Some that I believe i missed the night before..

When anxiety was eating another pathway for itself. A way out, out of my brain

Necrosis.

I spent the past couple of months studying all that can go wrong in a woman’s body.

Starting from puberty highlighting child bearing period and ending with menopause.

It’s all prewritten

And I get mad with rage because improvisations are treated like a sin that can never be forgiven.

I watched women bleeding incomplete lives from between their legs, that without shedding a tear.

We’re used to that, aren’t we ?

Bleeding.

And incomplete lives.

Distant dreams of motherhood bleeding classic tragedies into an ink jar

to be hand written as another passage in the wrenching history of all the fabricated religious books that swore by women.

•••

•Quotes: Blythe Baird/ Paul Guest/Molly McCully Brown/ Uma Thurman/ Sylvia Plath/ Joel Coen/ Emily Rose Cole

•Original context: Sinligh

•Art reference:

1.painting by Domenico Induno. 2. Painting by Henry Asencio. 3.painting by graham dean. 4. Art by Patricia Cronin. 5. Art by Amelie, Maison d'art. 6. Spirit Body Consciousness by Byron Tik. 7. Painting by Francesca Strino 8. Charles-August Mengin (detail)

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honeytonedhottie · 7 months

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quality of life‧₊˚✩彡🎐

this post is a collaboration with @prettieinpink my lovely mutual <3 so make sure to check out ur page for the continuation of this post and it has been a PLEASURE to work with her! go and follow her <3

HEALTH : ur health is easily the most important of these categories and ur own health must be prioritized in every thing that u do. health is wealth, and without health, ur quality of life will be very low.

eat foods that are good for u and that nourish you, pay close attention to ur body and how it reacts to certain foods cuz everyones body is different and u should have a vast knowledge on your own body and how it works. eat a variety of fruits and vegetables. a helpful ratio in eating that i like to use as a basic guideline is (80% of the time, eat healthier foods and 20% of the time eat what u crave)

stay hydrated and drink between 1-3 liters of water a day, about 15 minutes before u go to sleep drink a couple glasses of water, drinking water before bed literally CLEANSES you, it improves ur skin, helps ur heart pump blood more efficiently, and improves blood pressure and heart rate, which affects ur quality of sleep in a positive way

to continue on the note of ur sleep u should be sleeping 8-10 hours of sleep a night. sleep deprivation is NOT cute, so please opt to sleep at an earlier time and rise at an earlier time as well

aside from what u consume, take care of ur health by taking supplements, drinking lots of teas, sleeping enough, stretching ur body, dry brushing, lymphatic drainage massage etc

MENTAL WELL BEING : september is suicide prevention month so i feel like now is an AMAZING time to bring up mental health and ways that u can improve ur mental state of being.

i always talk about self concept and i always will because self concept truly is the foundation of everything. ur whole entire life is literally ur mindset. keeping a positive outlook, meditating and practicing gratitude sounds cliche but it does wonders for ur happiness.

understand that its okay to NOT feel happy 24/7 because happiness is simply a feeling, and feelings are fleeting. they dont stay forever. i talked about the science of dopamine and what it does to ur brain in a previous post but some things that u can do to improve ur happiness levels are :

cutting back on social media and screen time in order to experience the world around you

surrounding urself with people who build you up

consuming social media that impacts ur mental health in a positive way

if u can, invest in therapy and if u can't do some shadow work, and based on ur discoveries with shadow work use the resources that u have (like youtube) to learn how to heal from ur trauma properly. healing isn't an overnight process, its a journey but it will DRASTICALLY improve ur quality of life.

find ways to cope and deal with ur emotions in a healthy way if ur going through a hard time, if ur going thru a REALLY hard time please go and seek help bcuz u dont deserve to live in a constant state of sadness, and if u ever need encouragement my inbox is always open 💗

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE : ur physical appearance can greatly impact ur quality of life also so here's some way to maximize ur looks:

sleep, drink water, and walk everyday - the best way to be pretty is to be healthy so make sure ur taking care of ur nutrition and ur sleep schedule

skincare - build a solid skincare routine and be consistent with it, do ur skincare RELIGIOUSLY 2x a day and dont touch ur face with ur hands unless ur washing ur face. double cleanse and dont forget to apply spf <33

haircare - learn what ur hair texture is and watch influencers or people who share the same hair texture as u and watch how they take care of their hair. once u know ur hair type then ur hair will thrive and be healthy

clean nails, long or short its all a matter of preference but keep ur nails clean and done nicely

wearing clothes that fit and complement ur body nicely, get ur clothes tailored to fit ur body comfortably

take good care of ur hair to keep it healthy, and learn how to do ur hair in cute hairstyles.

lastly POSTURE will tie all of this together, ofc these categories were rly broad but u can totally look into them more to maximize ur own looks and beauty

i know dear peachie on youtube has AMAZING makeup tips especially if ur a beginner she can teach u a lot

GENERAL : this is just a broad category of helpful things that u can do to improve the quality of ur life.

manifestation : when u learn about the way that the world works and operates and how ur mind creates ur own reality u will literally step into the power of knowing that you create. start committing to ur dream life and learning about law of assumption

finding little things to be happy about : i feel my happiest when im consciously living. and what i mean about this most of us just live our lives on autopilot out of necessity or habit, but paying closer attention to our lives and our experiences and romanticizing our lives will improve the quality of ur life

decision making : make decisions that will give the quality of life that u wanna live. for the future, make decisions that are good for ur future self instead of just focusing on making decisions that only look good in that one moment. ofc this differs depending on the situation but make an effort to make smart decisions that'll set the foundation for ur future

go check out @prettieinpink for the next part of this post <;3

#law of assumption #self care #self concept #it girl #becoming that girl #manifesting #self love #loa tumblr #that girl #neville goddard #it girl energy #dream girl #lifestyle #self improvement

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ofthecaravel · 1 month

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Heaven In Time

Chapter 1

Chapter 2: Am I A Con Man Or A Brother?

Danny Wagner x Sam Kiszka

Summary: A year or so after meeting, Sam and Danny are on the road again and hope to get through Sam's home state of Alabama with no trouble. Easy enough, right?

Tags: Religious trauma, hella guilt tripping/mentions of religious upbringing, Fighting, sauciness but no outright smut, healthy ass relationship

Words: 5.6k

A/N: Welcome back! Sorry! Let me know what you think. Chap 3 is in progress 👀 Also this is kinda random but would any of y'all be interested in a playlist for this fic? Do people still do that?

“You gonna be good while I go in?”

“Ye of little faith.”

“You, mister, of chatting mouth and wayfaring legs.”

“Since when do you complain about my legs? You didn’t seem to mind ‘em when they were over your sh-”

“Hey now, hey now, okay. What did I just say about behaving yourself? Jesus Christ.”

Sam laughed brashly as he hopped up on the hood of the truck and made a show of crossing his legs with an angelic smile. Danny, standing over Sam with a firm grasp on his chin, rolled his eyes with the beginnings of a smile spreading over his tan face. It had turned out that Danny’s initial baseless accusations of Sam’s rebellious attitude had proven to be mostly accurate, with the only difference being that Sam’s tendency to wander around fell more on the side of striking up friendships with random strangers and impeding their errands schedule rather than picking fights with vagrants and ending up in the back of sketchy white vans. Over the last year they’d spent on the road, Sam’s increasing confidence and grasp on individuality had given him a smart mouth and big opinions. Gone were the days of the meek, awkward preacher’s son with a guilty conscience that sat on his chest like a rock. Now he stood tall with a proud demeanor and, more often than not, in cut off denim shorts with a cigarette hanging from his bitten lips.

Sam settled on the hood in that same fashion then, pulling a cigarette from the pack bulging in the front pocket of his tiny shorts and sticking it in his mouth, pleadingly pushing it out towards Danny with a calculated batting of his lashes to get the point across. Danny rolled his eyes again but quickly pulled a lighter from his pocket and lit it up, secretly very pleased to be the one to dote on Sam. Despite Sam’s drastic change in personality making him a far cry from the dusty hitchhiker Danny had picked up back in Texas, Danny’s affection only grew as the months passed them by. It was weird for him to look back on how this trip had begun: alone and directionless, setting off from his family farm in Florida with no one at his side. Sometimes when they were driving, Danny found it hard to recall a time without Sam’s passenger side chatter. How did he get as far as Texas without it? Silence was distressing to him now. Still, he found great fun in requesting it of Sam.

“Just stay here and be quiet,” Danny requested with faux exasperation. “I’m only gonna be in there for a few minutes for snacks and paying for gas and the bathroom. I don’t want to come out to you preaching to your huddled masses like that time in Santa Ana.”

“I know,” Sam whined. “How many times do I have to tell you those guys came up to me?”

“Watch your tone,” Danny whispered as he leaned in, his grasp returning to Sam’s jaw. “What you should know is that I want to get us through Alabama as fast as possible, okay? For you, Sammy, remember that.”

“Yeah,” Sam grumbled, removing the cigarette from his lips with a guilty frown. “I do know. Sorry, daddy.”

Sam batted his lashes again and watched Danny’s face flicker at his words. It was a cheap trick, but it certainly didn’t hurt to slip in Danny’s favorite nickname every once in a while to win his favor in a matter of seconds.

“It’s okay,” Danny instantly assured him, melting like he always did at the title Sam had appointed him. It only ever trickled into their daytime conversations when Sam was being truly appreciative. He gave Sam a quick kiss before letting him go and taking a step towards the gas station itself.

“5 minutes max, I promise.”

“Go already,” Sam grinned, waving with a royal flourish as Danny tossed him a wink and went through the chiming doors of the gas station, leaving Sam to take a drag from his cigarette and watch its smoke unfurl into the clear sky above. It was a still, sweltering summer day, the kind of familiar weather that kept Sam aware of their presence in his home state. There was no way to get to their destination of Danny’s Floridian hometown without going through Alabama, which Sam kept swearing up and down would be no issue to him, despite the both of them knowing that Sam would no doubt have at least one instance of grief. So far he was having no problems, and as he absently bounced his shoe and closed his eyes against the comforting sun, Sam started to actually feel optimistic.

After a minute, Sam became aware of the creeping feeling that he was being watched. With his eyes closed it felt unfounded, but when gut instinct and a rolling chill over his otherwise sweaty skin told him to peek and assess his surroundings, he realized that he had good reason for it.

Outside the gas station standing on the ledge of sidewalk facing the last pump was a young man dressed in a short sleeved, cream colored button down staring directly at Sam. His features were blurry because of the distance and because Sam only had one eye open to assess him, but Sam could see that he had his dark, shoulder length hair pulled into a neat, low ponytail and that he grasped a stack of pamphlets in his hands. This tidy, modest appearance hit a little too close to home for Sam and he scowled remembering when something similar used to be his daily attire. Danny had joked about Sam’s preaching, but he and his brothers really did used to stand on sidewalk corners like the guy in front of him now, waving their hands and crying out with adolescent passion. His scowl deepened and he closed his eyes.

Great, Sam thought in annoyance, pursing his lips against his cigarette. Rookie mistake to actually make eye contact with the guy. Now he’s gonna be over here any minute now asking me about my relationship with God. That’s gotta be the last thing I wanna think about right now. No, thank you.

Another few minutes passed and the creeping unease remained in the pit of Sam’s stomach and kept his ears perked uncomfortably. With an irritated sigh, he opened his eyes again and saw that, sure enough, the sidewalk preacher was still staring him down. He had even moved up a couple pumps, now only a few feet away from Sam. Doing his best not to look at the guy, Sam groaned and slid off the hood of the car, flicking his cigarette onto the pavement and crushing it under the rubber sole of his Converse. The man took this as an opportunity to hastily approach. Sam couldn’t help but give a theatrical sigh at the sight, leaning his head back to stare at the sky for another moment as a last ditch effort to ground himself before the inevitable nonsense.

He must have seen me and Danny, Sam concluded mentally. And now he’s here to save my soul from our sinful ways. Whoopee.

“Listen, man, I don’t want any trouble,” Sam started, already frustrated. “I know the spiel, okay? God didn’t work for me, it’s nothing personal.”

“Sammy?”

Sam’s head immediately jerked forward to properly face the man in front of him. In an instant, he was drowned in cold and felt his knees threaten to buckle. He struggled not to disassociate, breathing urgently through his nose as his lips shut and refused to part.

How could he have stared right into this face and not seen who it was in an instant? There was no else whose voice would crack with such specific inflection over his nickname; a nickname never given freely, mind you.

The round brown eyes constantly shadowed from worry and late night prayer. The combed dark hair and disciplined posture.

It was Jake, his brother, a thousand times over.

“Sammy,” Jake repeated. He sounded worn down and nearly pleading, seemingly just as baffled as Sam about seeing his brother before him.

Sam couldn’t speak, couldn’t think. His thoughts were thick with shame and gave no more room for that last little spark of hope that he could make it through Alabama unscathed. All he could do was gawk at Jake, who gawked right back at him with what he knew was a near identical expression to his own. He had always felt he existed as some warped mirror of Jake, and here he was, pressed up against the glass yet again when he thought he’d shattered it long ago.

“What are you doing here?” Sam whispered. With their hometown miles out from the provincial rest stop they were at, Sam was becoming increasingly convinced that Jake’s presence was a mirage brought on by the heat.

“What are you doing here?” Jake countered. His eyes were wild and darted over Sam head to toe. A hand came up to grasp his forehead, a nervous tic that Sam remembered (of course) and found oddly comforting to see after all this time.

“Gas,” Sam answered dumbly. It was true, but obviously not the answer Jake was looking for. Sam felt close to tears in a manner of seconds when hurt flashed over Jake’s face, clearly from Sam’s cold brevity and…well, everything.

“So, you have a car now?”

“I-”

“Come on, babe, what’d I say? No mingling!”

Sam had hardly registered the crisp bell of the gas station doors cheerily bursting open, revealing Danny with an armful of beers and wrapped sandwiches. He wore a bright smile as he usually did when he was with Sam, and Sam watched helplessly as it fell at the sight of Sam’s face painted with frozen desperation. Never taking his eyes off of Sam, Danny set his treasures down on his seat through the truck’s open window and was at Sam’s side in a second, a protective hand already up to shove Jake back if need be.

“Can I help you, man?” Danny asked curtly, glaring down at Jake with his dark eyebrows furrowed menacingly.

“Who is this guy?” Jake asked Sam in an amused tone, as if he truly couldn’t believe that Sam would go anywhere near Danny. When Jake had known him, it would have been a fair assumption for him to make, but now there was nothing further from the truth.

“Who are you?” Danny shot right back, adjusting to stand partly in front of Sam. His shield and sword all rolled into one. Sam felt grateful for his protection but knew it was unnecessary.

“Danny, this is, uh, my brother,” Sam introduced nervously, putting a hand on his bare arm and giving it a calming squeeze. “Jake, this is Danny.”

Jake held out a polite hand for Danny to shake, which he obliged with a mistrustful squint of his hazel eyes. In Sam’s stories about his childhood, Jake had never really been the enemy in any of them, save for silly childhood disputes. But his compliance never made him a hero either, and Sam knew that Danny was recalling all he could remember of Sam’s brothers from the rude way he pulled his hand back from the handshake. Jake didn’t appear to care at all, turning his gaze on Sam once more with a weak laugh.

“Have you been here this whole time?” Jake asked. “We read your note, of course, but forgive me for beginning to think the worst had happened when there was absolutely no trace of you anywhere. Mom started reading the news all the way up in Montgomery just in case there was mention of you.”

“No, uh, I’ve been traveling,” Sam explained, incapable of making eye contact. “Mostly stuck to the Southern states, but, yeah. We’re actually not staying, we’re headed to Danny's place in Florida right now.”

“Wow,” Jake remarked blankly, nodding thoughtfully. “Okay. We, huh?”

“Danny was kind enough to pick me up in Texas,” Sam clarified, nodding towards Danny. “We’ve stuck together since then.”

“Somebody had to keep him safe,” Danny said in a clipped voice, looking Jake up and down with an accusatory glare. Jake continued to not acknowledge Danny’s obvious distaste for him and pressed onwards. He gave another nod that turned into a disbelieving shake of the head.

“How in the world did you get to Texas with no ride? I have about a million questions, Sammy, forgive me for my impatience. I mean, for starters, you look…”

Jake gestured vaguely to Sam’s bare bones outfit composed of a maroon band tee more suited to Danny’s frame than his (which made sense, considering it was Danny’s), meaning it fell so low it almost entirely covered Sam’s very short shorts. It was a standard outfit for him now, but the last time Jake had seen Sam, he’d been dressed in something nearly identical to the outfit Jake wore, complete with the long tweed pants in the blistering heat. Sam’s hair, kept long to compliment his newfound appreciation for his androgynous features and to serve as something extra for Danny to pull when they were caught up in motel bedroom devotions, was pulled into low frizzy pigtails that Jake no doubt found bizarre.

For the first time in a long time, Sam began to feel self conscious.

“Different?” Sam asked, putting a hand on his hip. “Is that cool with you?”

“I…of course, it’s just…definitely different,” Jake agreed, a hint of venom finally tinting his words. “I hoped maybe you’d gone off to, you know, spread the good word, but I can tell from your outf-”

“You wouldn’t have thought that if you’d actually read my note like you said you did. You know why I left, Jake.”

“Were things really so terrible?” Jake prodded, his condescending tone now entirely betraying his bright attitude. “So horribly bad that you just had to leave behind your entire family who has done nothing but love you, just by the way, and an entire church that you had responsibility in? I can’t think of a single person in Shady Grove that doesn’t pray for you each and every day. I can tell you didn’t have faith in us, Sam, but we had faith in you. Still do.”

“I wasn’t happy,” Sam hissed, tears finally stinging his eyes as he stepped forward and got in his brother’s face, still clinging to Danny’s arm as he waited for his chance to intervene. “Nobody listened to me! Or, yeah, maybe I didn’t speak up enough, but even if I did, you all would’ve just heard what you wanted to hear.”

“Come to dinner, Sammy,” Jake begged, putting a hand on Sam’s shoulder with a firm grip. “Come to my place. I won’t even tell Mom and Dad, but you’ve got to see Josh, at least. He talks about you in every single sermon, he-”

“You’re not listening,” Sam groaned defeatedly, flushing hot with frustration and humiliation. He felt Danny’s anxious eyes on him while his brother’s thick skull and saccharine words regressed Sam into a childlike tantrum. Jake shook his head as if it weren’t true, as if Sam was behaving completely out of line. That was something Sam really did hate about his brother sometimes; he could make him feel so stupid for nothing at all.

“Why can’t you ever admit that there are things about home that don’t work?” Sam raged on. “Just ‘cause they work for you doesn’t mean they work for me. I had to go, Jake. I, I have to go.”

“Let’s go,” Danny urged, his voice uncharacteristically cool and tense. “Ready when you are.”

“I’m ready,” Sam snarled, glaring at Jake one more time before turning on his heel and stomping to the side door. Jake followed with a frustrated huff through his nose, grabbing Sam’s wrist and yanking him so hard he stumbled.

“I love you, Sam,” Jake said firmly, passion flashing in his amber eyes. “That’s why I’m tough on you, okay? Mom and Dad love you. Josh loves you. Come home.”

“No,” Sam barked, pulling his wrist away. “Get off, Jake, I’m fucking leaving.��

Jake stood and watched Sam climb into the passenger side and slam the door, pointedly staring through the windshield and ignoring his fuming brother as Danny hurriedly tossed the food and drink from his seat into the back. Jake smacked his palm against the door and won Sam’s attention again, who now saw that Jake’s furious expression had begun to devolve into tears.

“So, that’s it? That’s all you got to say?” Jake cried. “So high and mighty you can’t even say you love us anymore?”

“Of course I love you, stupid!” Sam yelled, grabbing an empty plastic water bottle out of the cup holder and smacking it on Jake’s head. “I just can’t love you here!”

Jake grabbed the water bottle out of Sam’s hand and tossed it right back at him, ducking when Sam fully threw it through the window. Jake crouched out of Sam’s reach as he pulled a pen out of his pocket and scribbled something urgently on one of his many disheveled pamphlets. Despite Sam’s flurry of smacking hands, Jake managed to shove it through the window and onto Sam’s lap.

“That’s the address and that’s what time I’ll have dinner on the table,” Jake explained, his teary eyes flashing as he pointed at the pamphlet with vigor. “There will be two places set for you and your, your Danny, and I really hope to see you both!”

“I really hope you like disappointment!” Sam hollered, heart hammering like a jackrabbit as he and Jake launched into a new round of arguing.

Unable to stand back and watch anymore, Danny rolled up Sam’s window for him and finally began to pull out of the gas station. Jake yelled something as they sped out of the lot, and Sam let out a frustrated scream in response. He was unable to look back at his brother, instead electing to fold at the waist and let out another muffled scream against his bare legs.

Danny, frazzled from the sibling explosion that had just set off in front of his eyes, was honestly unsure on what the hell to do. He settled for a soothing hand on Sam’s back, rubbing calming circles and asking Sam to breathe and settle down in the most serene voice he could manage. Sam listened and managed to subdue his roaring need to shriek out his frustrations, but he stayed crumpled over with his head between his thighs. As always, Sam’s complete and utter silence was a million times worse to Danny, and he debated whether or not to ask him something just to get both their minds on a new track.

“So, you wanna go to that dinner, or…?”

Yeah, Danny regretted that the second it left his mouth.

Sam’s silence persisted and Danny swallowed nervously, trying to appreciate the sparse scenery that surrounded the highway so that his brain had something else to do.

5 entire minutes passed without Sam saying anything, which was probably the longest he had ever gone in the year Danny had traveled with him. He was never this quiet, not even in his sleep. But frankly, Danny couldn’t blame him. Danny’s heart broke for Sam, and he bit back regretful tears thinking of how he should’ve just stepped between them and pulled Sam into the truck before Jake got a chance to say anything at all. After another excruciating minute, he figured there wasn’t much use in spiraling, so Danny decided to pull over on the side of the empty road and turn off the truck.

“What can I do to help you, Sam?” Danny asked in a hushed voice, his hand returning to Sam’s back and tilting his head to try and catch a glimpse of Sam’s face.

Sam thought for a second, sniffling wetly before finally turning from the valley of his legs to miserably look up at Danny. Danny’s heart sank at the sight of his lashes heavy with tears and his nose and cheeks painted poppy red.

“I don’t know,” Sam muttered, throat scratchy from exertion. “Take me out behind the barn and shoot me.”

“Sam,” Danny sighed at his dramatics, reaching over Sam’s head to click open the glove box and pull out a clean handkerchief. He presented it to Sam, who made no move to grab it, so he rested it on top of his head with a little smile.

“Thanks,” Sam mumbled, still unmoving and sniffing pathetically. His gaze was blank and defeated and his face was still dotted with tears, which Danny lovingly swept away with a curled knuckle.

“That was a lot,” Danny commented steadily, still trying to pry a productive conversation out of the ever stubborn Sam. “Definitely wouldn’t have picked that station if I had known your people would be anywhere near it.”

“He really shouldn’t have been,” Sam complained. “Shady Grove is, like, 10 miles out closer to the coast. But it’s not completely unheard of for him to go to the most random fucking places for his sidewalk preaching. Divine timing, I guess. Great.”

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Danny whispered, mirroring Sam’s posture as best he could to try and meet Sam’s eye. When he did, Sam’s bottom lip quivered and he clasped a hand over his face, letting out an exasperated groan that filled the entire cabin of the truck.

“I’m so sorry,” Sam apologized, his voice shaking with frustration. “You shouldn’t have had to see me like that. Fuck, he just makes me so crazy, it’s like I don’t even know what happens.”

“Don’t apologize,” Danny insisted, running his fingers along the soft hair at Sam’s temples to try and ground him. “He came at you pretty hard. I know he’s your brother and everything, but if you gave me the go ahead, I would’ve knocked him upside the head with the way he was talking to you.”

“I wish you had,” Sam grumbled. There was a sore pang when he said it, and Sam found himself falling quiet and staring into space again. “But, like…”

Danny had spent enough time with Sam to feel confident in his ability to read his mind, and from the mournful, longing glaze over Sam’s eyes, he made an educated guess as to where Sam’s head was at.

“But, like…you still kinda want to go to dinner tonight?” Danny asked, attempting to finish Sam’s sentence.

Sam let out another theatrical groan and answered by gently banging his forehead against the pamphlet on his lap, which doubled as a nod in the affirmative. Despite the anxiety that the prospect of a dinner with Sam’s brothers stirred in Danny’s chest, he was happy to do whatever it took to get Sam through the night without trying to throw himself out of the truck.

“Yeah, okay, we’ll do that,” Danny assured him, brushing his fingers against Sam’s flushed cheek. “And the second you say we need to go, we’ll go. Does that sound good?”

“Mmhm,” Sam hummed against the paper.

Danny watched Sam’s dejected body language for another minute before taking action again. With a quick jerk of the reclining lever, he laid his seat back and scooted until he was sitting in the backseat. After landing with a bounce on the leather, Danny shifted the beers and sandwiches once again while Sam sat up and gave him a quizzical look.

“What?” Sam asked simply, a confused smile very slowly seeping into his expression as Danny settled in the middle of the backseat and opened up his arms.

“Someone needs a hug,” Danny determined, beckoning Sam into his lap with a cheeky grin.

“You are so goddamn corny,” Sam whined. Despite his rolling eyes, he quickly scrambled out of his seat and clumsily landed in Danny’s embrace. Danny’s arms wrapped around him in an instant and Sam unraveled completely at the comfort, throwing his arms around Danny’s neck as he sank into his broad chest and nuzzled against Danny’s freckled shoulder. Danny held him tight and pressed kisses to the crown of Sam’s head as he felt the erratic cadence of Sam’s heart beating against his own begin to even out into a stable thrum.

“Feeling a little better?” Danny asked tentatively. Sam replied with a muffled hum against his skin and Danny laughed, smoothing the loose hairs that had escaped Sam’s pigtails and were waving wildly in the humidity. Sam pressed a kiss to his shoulder and Danny let out a happy hum of his own. Danny gave one of Sam’s pigtails a gentle tug to tilt his head back and met him halfway, closing his eyes with a smile that he pressed against Sam’s already puckered lips. While they got caught up in a lazy kiss, Danny carefully worked to slide the elastics from Sam’s hair and combed through his impressive tresses with his long fingers. Sam sighed into Danny’s mouth at the relaxing sensation, cupping Danny’s face and slipping his tongue into the equation while Danny indulged in a smug smile.

“I feel better,” Sam finally admitted, giggling when Danny mapped a trail of kisses from his jaw down his neck. “Much better, actually.”

“Yeah? You feel as good as you did last night?” Danny purred against his neck, grinning and bearing his teeth against his skin when Sam scoffed. Danny had found that this was another surefire way to keep Sam’s mind out of a dark place; tease the hell out of him.

“Danny!” Sam squealed, batting his shoulders and squirming in his lap. “Shut up!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, who was the one talking about legs over shoulders no less than an hour ago?”

“I-”

“It was definitely you.”

“Hearsay!” Sam laughed. “Tell it to my lawyer.”

When Danny lifted his head from his throat to smile at him, he could see the rosy glow had already returned to Sam’s face. Danny’s heart fluttered at the thought that he could be the person to do that to someone, much less someone as wholly deserving of joy as Sam.

“You wanna hear something funny?” Sam chuckled while Danny leaned back against the leather seat, one hand on Sam’s waist and the other still fussing with his hair.

“Hm?”

“We didn’t even get gas.”

Danny froze and blinked blankly.

“...Fuck, you’re right!”

Sam’s raucous laugh filled the truck as Danny shifted and looked out the back window, staring longingly at the pump somewhere in the distance behind them despite it being entirely out of his sight.

“Damn. There goes my 15 bucks,” Danny grumbled.

“You only put 15 bucks on the pump? Cheap bitch.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, do you have anything you’d like to contribute to the gas fund? Or would you like to keep dipping your sticky little fingers into it and spending it on cigarettes and cotton candy?”

“Absolutely,” Sam smiled triumphantly. “I mean, worse comes to worse, we can always stop in some seedy little town and get me a job working the pole. We’d have gas money for a year.”

“Fuck no,” Danny blurted. Sam cackled again when Danny bulged his eyes at the idea, his grip subconsciously tightening on his waist. “No, no, absolutely not.”

“Jealous?” Sam flirted, tapping the tip of Danny’s nose and winking. He rolled his hips as if he were straddling a stripper pole and Danny let out a suffocated groan at the sensation. Not allowing himself to dive into the salacious imagery Sam had conjured, Danny used his leverage on Sam’s hips to hold him still.

“No, Sam, I’m super into the idea of you being half naked on stage in front of a bunch of podunk perverts,” Danny replied sarcastically, swatting his ass. “Of course I’m jealous, you little shit.”

“Well, you don’t have to be, ‘cause I’d never,” Sam cooed, clearly still delighted by Danny’s knee jerk reaction. “You know damn well I’m all yours.”

“Yeah, you are,” Danny hummed, chasing another kiss and mumbling against Sam’s lips. “And you know damn well you’re safe as long as you’re with me, right?”

“Since the day we met,” Sam confirmed, heart fluttering and racing as he recalled the first time he’d seen Danny. This was something he did almost every night to soothe himself to sleep, a practice that had replaced the psalm recitations he’d done for years after he steadily found them less and less effective at calming him. He’d picture Danny, nothing short of drop dead gorgeous in a ratty flannel and his combed out curls pulled into a ponytail, with his head tilted to the side as he regarded Sam and his pathetic little suitcase. Frozen in place, Sam’s thumb had stayed pointing up in the air for a beat too long as he assessed the amusing contrast of the gorgeous stranger in such a beat up hunk of junk. In the same way that something had urged Danny to drive through the thoroughfare in the first place, something had given Sam complete assurance that if he got into the truck with this total stranger, it would be the start of his life as opposed to the end.

Despite the fact that they were far from being on speaking terms, Sam couldn’t help but thank God for it.

“Good,” Danny smiled. “Remember, the second you want out tonight, we’re outta there. You call the shots.”

“Don’t I always?”

Danny raised an eyebrow at Sam and Sam smiled with faux innocence, tucking a strand of hair behind Danny’s ear while Danny sighed fondly. Without the other knowing, both of them felt a sudden urge to tell the other one something. Something that had been on both of their minds for a long time. While it didn’t really need to be confirmed when the time they spent together spoke volumes about how they felt, it still had yet to be said. But Danny was worried Sam was a little too vulnerable at the moment to process the impact it might have, and Sam was worried Danny wouldn’t say it back, so they let the next few minutes pass with quiet chatting and kissing instead. Not that they could complain about that.

“What time is it?” Danny eventually asked, answering his own question by looking over Sam’s shoulder at the radio’s clock. “4:30ish? How long do you reckon it’ll take to get to Jake’s?”

“Only like 20 minutes if we backtrack and take some shortcuts,” Sam explained. “I’ll be our fearless navigator, of course.”

“That’ll be a first,” Danny muttered, which earned him a light slap on the arm. “Well, shit, what should we do for an hour? Anything fun to do in glorious Baldwin county, Mr. Navigator?”

Sam stared off into space for a moment, seemingly deep in thought as his eyebrows furrowed and his lips pushed out into a focused pout. However, when Sam’s eyes eventually fell on the space between their bodies and his eyebrow arched suggestively, Danny realized that he had fallen for an act.

“Unbelievable,” Danny groaned as Sam smiled flirtatiously and pawed at his belt. “I thought maybe you knew some roadside attractions nearby we could go to. I should’ve known better.”

“I mean, we’re already back here,” Sam purred, sliding a hand up the front of Danny’s muscle tee. “And no one’s driven by since we pulled over.”

“Unbelievable,” Danny repeated, shaking his head slightly but obliging entirely when Sam’s lips found his and his hands made quick work of pulling off Danny’s shirt.

This reckless nerve and seeming insatiability was one of many side effects of Sam’s newfound confidence. Ever since that inciting night at the motel where Sam had stayed under Danny until the sun came up and writhed nonstop from nothing more than kisses and hands on his hips, he had become hopelessly addicted to Danny’s touch. It was fully Danny’s fault for indulging him as often as he did, but he really had tried to take it as slow as he possibly could. Danny knew that Sam had no prior experience and very little knowledge of the body when it came to the pleasure it could provide, and he had wanted to give him a low stakes, enjoyable education.

However, this had become increasingly more difficult when he found Sam crawling into his lap time and time again with professedly innocent questions, all of which were whispered into his ear with hot breath that sent chills down his spine. Sam had insisted on hands-on demonstrations and begged so sweetly, which made it nearly impossible for Danny to continue the patient pace he had planned for him. This eventually cultivated in a “celebration” their first night in Los Angeles where Danny had caved entirely and awarded Sam his sacrament. He’d crossed the line between the divine and the Earth, called Sam his little lamb, and awoke the next morning with Sam’s head on his chest and his virginity (however conceptual that may be) locked up safe in the parts of his mind reserved for the most sacred sentiments. Deep down, Danny knew he’d be trying in vain for the rest of his days trying to replicate the ecstasy of truly feeling Sam for the first time. Fingernails dug so deep in his biceps he’d emerged with a single crescent moon scar, Sam’s hips bucking to accommodate Danny’s stuttering push into him, a pounding fist on the wall from outraged neighbors being drowned out from the rattle of the bedposts…that was a high Danny was going to chase to no avail. But he was more than happy to try.

Plus, how could he ever say no to Sam? Maybe someday he’d regret letting Sam get whatever he wanted, but from the way Sam looked unbuttoning his jeans with his rosy bottom lip tucked triumphantly between his teeth, Danny was pretty sure regret was the last thing he was feeling.

They were in for a hell of a night, so why not get as close to heaven before then?

Taglist: @holdingup-fallingsky @milojames16 @spark-my-nature

#oooooooh the plot #oh the plot of it all #gvf #greta van fleet #danny wagner #sam kiszka #sanny gvf #greta van fleet fanfiction #greta van art #karoufiction

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versadies · 2 years

Text

YOU COULD HAVE MINE..

SALUTATIONS. you can have mine (sagau)

ADDRESSED. slight yan!zhongli (w/ gn!reader)

CONTENT. sagau content, heavy religious themes, creator!reader, angst/no-fluff, yandere themes, ooc, mentions of blood and violence, character death (minor), spoilers to liyue archon quest act 3, inspired by j’s lullaby (darlin’ i’d wait for you)

STAMP. in which zhongli faces the consequences of his actions as he resorts to delusions and dreams where everything is okay.

PENPALS (taglist). @scaraslover @saving-for-xiao @dawgimsohot @kazu-topia @chiruru @aqualesha @renamichii @mrkamisato @shenhesl0ver @serami00 @serenareiss @hiqhkey @emperatris-rinaka @bystander36 @irisxiel @coleluuviida @034ven @dear-dairiess @luv3rxcha @hadesaedes @chiro-chiro-kun @hersscherofyatta @mariusvonhangme @yuzuricebun @nejibot @hoshikistarlette @solaaresque @crowbird @lordbugs @flowersforayato @headnotintheclouddd @estelwrld @giyusimpsassemble @irethepotatosblog @moonlightaangel @alice0blog @shotosbrainrot @sniffoat @chihawari @mxsomn @kuni-kuzushii

POST-SCRIPT. here’s a sagau fic after months !!! ill try to be more active and post more sagau fics, enjoy fellow comrades <333

SAGAU MASTERLIST \ MAIN MASTERLIST

“Zhongli,” You greeted with a smile on your face as you watch your beloved acolyte enter your lounge room, “you’ve come just in time for my brunch time, care to be my company?”

He smiles in response, pink dusted off his cheeks. Who is he to reject the opportunity to spend time with the divine creator themselves?

“Of course, your grace.”

He sees the way your eyes brighten, something that makes his heart set ablaze, and you instantly gesture to him to sit on the chair that’s across from yours. “Come, come! You should try these biscuits, I heard that they're becoming famous recently and..”

As you continue to ramble on and on about the biscuits, Zhongli listens to every word and takes it to heart, the smile never left off from his face. This is exactly how he wanted his life to go, spending the rest of his forever with you as you enjoy his company as much as he enjoys yours.

“Take a bite.” You said, raising a biscuit towards the retired archon’s mouth.

His cheeks turned red from the fact that he’s about to be fed by you. “I suppose I shouldn’t… refuse such an offer from your grace.” He spoke before leaning towards your hand and bit the biscuit.

“Does it taste sweet?” You asked, watching him chewing the biscuit with an anticipated look. It was sweet just as you rambled, but not as sweet as this moment.

Before he could answer, your face morphs into something unsettling.

“Does it taste real enough for you to not think this is a dream?”

Suddenly, he wakes up. It hits him that he’s in Mt. Aocang, alone with nothing but his thoughts and daydreams. Thoughts about how he’ll never come to find a moment just like the one he daydreams.

Ever since the day the imposter that Zhongli devoted himself to hunt and harm proved to be the divine creator, he can understand why mortals often get stuck to their fantasies and dreams.

How could he be so blind?

“Zh-Zhongli, please..” You begged in a desperate tone as he came towards you with his weapon, ready to kill you the moment he’s close to you. “I didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Still in denial, are you?” Zhongli spoke up, unamused by your cowardice and patheticness. “You dare to play as the innocent when you’ve committed a grave sin? You dare to use the face of our grace and pretend there’s nothing wrong–”

“This is my real face!” You scream, shoulders shaking as you place your hands on your head. “Why can’t everyone understand that? Why can’t you see I don’t have any ill intentions?! Why can’t you leave me alone!?”

Because he was too enamored by the creator to realize he was worshiping a fake. He was still in a daze where all he wanted was for the creator to appreciate him and his efforts, and killing the “imposter” was one way to do it.

He was a fool that got tricked and committed the worst sin there is in Teyvat.

The moment the situation with Osial was handled, Zhongli immediately fled to Inazuma to see if Childe was telling the truth, and indeed he did.

He finds himself standing in front of Tenshukaku amidst the chaos in Inazuma City that’s currently ambushed by rifthounds and the golden wolflord, staring at the familiar face in horror as it dawns on him what he and his people had done.

They’ve been harming their creator this whole time. And they’re now facing the consequences of it.

It felt like he was seeing a whole new person. Instead of seeing the usual fear and desperate look on your face, all he sees is vengeance and anger in you, who’s covered in blood and bruises from who he assumes is the true imposter – the damned rascal who managed to trick many nations into thinking they’re the creator.

For the first time, Zhongli felt scared for life.

“...Your.. Your grace…” He breathed out, kneeling down. “Forgive me… Forgive me and my people… We were foolish and–”

“Who knew it’d take your nation to be at risk for you to finally listen to me.” You said in a monotone, unphased from the unusual sight of the retired archon in a pathetic state. “Let’s face it, it’s too late for you to apologize for you and your people.”

“I’m aware,” He clenches his fists. Angry at himself for being so blind. “But please allow me to redeem myself – I’m willing to face the punishments as long as I get to be beside you, your grace–!”

“Who do you think you are to assume you’re worth being beside me, Morax?” Your eyes narrow. “I wanted you to listen to me, I wanted you to stop attacking me– but you didn’t listen and believe me, did you?”

He shook his head slowly, the regret slowly starting to eat him away. “I.. I did not..”

“Then you have no reason nor right to be considered as my acolyte, Morax. You have no right to kneel and beg for forgiveness when you had the chance long before I knew who I was.” You felt like you were burning inside from the memories you had during the hunt, feeling angrier as you remember the things he had done to you.

You then wipe the blood of the imposter away from your cheek, convincing yourself you’re not crying. “You’re lucky I only awakened Osial and not those who are from the damned,” You whispered, walking down the stairs as you ignored the statue of the raiden shogun crumbling down, a sign that the electro archon has finally lost it. “I was just being merciful.”

You then leaned towards his face. It felt like he’s no longer facing the scared ( Name ) who always runs away from the sight of him and others who tried to kill them, and is facing the angered Creator who was betrayed by their own people due to their foolish desires to impress the fake.

“The least you can do is to get out of my way and out of my face, Morax.” You felt sadistic for feeling satisfied with the way Zhongli’s face contorts to disbelief. “Seeing you right now.. Disgusts me more than the imposter’s rotting corpse.”

He stares down at the tea he drank, his thoughts flooded with what-ifs and denial. If he could turn back in time, he would take back everything he had done to you. He would do anything to be in those who are in your favor’s position, even if he had to take down Teyvat to ruins.

But alas, there’s nothing he could do.

That’s why the consultant resorts to spending his days dreaming and being delusional of what could’ve been if he knew you were the creator all along.

That was the only thing he could do while waiting for you to somehow let him come to you and serve you properly this time, even if the chance was slim.

Tell him to do the impossible – get you the sun, the stars, the moon, or the extinct – and he’ll do everything he can to do it if that means you’ll accept him in your little world that has you and those who are by your side loyally.

He'll do anything to get out of this hell, a hell where the creator despises him more than anything.

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violetsandfluff · 2 years

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Angel in Disguise

Word count: 3.1k

Pairing: Frat boy Harry and singer!Y/N

Summary: Harry meets his crush and she shows him that she loves him too; more than he could have ever guessed.

Trigger warnings: smut/sex (unprotected), pet names, swearing, slight degradation, slow burn, probably more, but, ya know… the stuff.

A/N: This didn’t take me too long, but I proofread and fixed it more than anything I’ve ever written for tumblr. I hope you enjoy it! <3

They’d seen each other before, fitful and futile attempts for Harry to connect with her. He was convinced she couldn’t see him, that there was a blind spot in her eye that shielded him from her view. She was one of the only girls on the planet that could brush him off without a word. Without a reason. Without a glance.

For the sensitive people out there, even the ones who leaned more toward the cocky side, this was discouragement at its finest. But Harry was not sensitive, nor overly cocky. He, mixed with Y/N, was the perfect storm.

He had been open about his feelings from her from the beginning. He had been invited on The Ellen Show to play ‘Who’d You Rather,’ and it was no surprise who won.

“She’s outrageously attractive,” he stuttered, unable to look Ellen in the eye. “I mean, really, have you ever seen a more gorgeous woman?”

This simple line found its way into many ears throughout the world, two of which were Y/N’s.

She couldn’t really escape it, with her followers tagging her in every repost of the clip. It tickled her to see that she had a man, who she’d never met, in the palm of her hand like that.

After the internet had exploded with this information, all interview hosts seemed to be asking Harry about her, and her about Harry. She seemed to be all he talked about for months, and she devoured every word for it.

After all, who would let such a cute man’s words slide off like that?

“Tell me, what part of Y/N do you find most attractive?”

“She’s got a breathtaking face,” he would sigh wistfully, “and gorgeous curves. Her personality is so… bold and striking.”

He had come across her by fate on the street once, after the initial revealing of his love. She had come close enough to him so her shoulder brushed against his side, but she’d continued walking in the opposite direction, like a model, like nothing had ever happened.

Harry had turned to watch her go, hurt, lust, and adoration illuminating his face. There were articles plastered over the internet and tabloids the next day, of him gawking at her as she has, literally, brushed him off.

He couldn’t stand this, the mere thought of her touching him would harden his cock faster than anything. He touched himself religiously to mental images of her, as a soundtrack of her songs and speaking voice flowed through his head. He came into jars on a nightly basis too, imagining they were her tight pussy. He wondered what it was like to hear her sweet voice moan. Thinking of that sent him practically over the edge. What would her lips feel like?

“You released your new album, Harry’s House, more than a month ago now, and the world is going absolutely mad over it,” A sly smirk crossed over the interviewer’s face. “I’m sure you talk about that quite a bit nowadays, so allow me to shake things up. Harry, if you had to ask Y/N one question, what would it be?”

Harry chuckled. He hadn’t been asked this for a while, but he was still used to answering it. Every answer that he’d used in response to this was different. It was always untrue, but it was somewhat amusing nonetheless.

“Oh, I don’t know,” he grinned, using a hand to stroke his chin as if he were in deep contemplation. “Many things.”

“Just one, mate.”

At this point, the audience began to murmur and point behind him, but he knew better than to turn around. He had been fooled one time too many.

“What’s your favorite flower?”

This was nothing compared to the one question that dwelled in the darkest parts of his overactive mind. A question that wouldn’t see the light of day for anything.

“Tulips and buttercups.”

A sweet voice tickled Harry’s ears from behind, causing him to whirl around. He blushed deeply, beginning beneath the collar of his shirt and spreading up his cheeks. The world’s most beautiful girl was standing behind him, smiling sweetly, and touching his shoulder.

The audience laughed out loud at his surprise and he immediately folded his hands, placing them subtly over his lap. Convenient.

She bent down to give him a big hug from behind as he sat, awkwardly, wringing his hands and kicking himself internally for not hugging her back.

That could have been his last chance, but dirty scenarios were already flooding his mind. They brought a dark smirk to his face and caused him to tune out the interview host and the beautiful girl sitting beside him. Her hips could be good for a whole lot.

He drifted slowly out of his daydream, just in time to hear his name after what was supposed to be a question.

“What?” he had to ask as he noticed the other two staring at him.

“Did you hear the question?” Y/N joked, giving his arm a playful slap.

“No,” he admitted sheepishly, drawing laughter from the audience. “Sorry.”

Y/N giggled as she repeated the question Jeremy had asked him. “What initially attracted you to me? Did you catch it that time?”

He chose to ignore the second part, thinking about the potential of the first part. “Your personality…” he stammered, all too aware of the chatter going on in the audience and at the pair of gorgeous hazel eyes that twinkled from beside him. “You’re really pretty…”

“Good answer,” Jeremy confirmed and Y/N gave a half-smile, showing off her dimple as she put her arm around his shoulder. She must have been able to feel his pulse in the blood that pounded through the veins on his back, though, because she drew back quickly.

But that didn’t keep Harry from internalizing the feeling.

Jeremy handed a stack of thick laminated cards to both singers before explaining the rules. “You are going to read the other one a question. They will be required to answer it to the best of their ability. Understand?”

“Yes,” the pair replied in unison.

“Y/N, ladies first.”

She cheerfully picked the top card off the stack, giggling as she read it. “This is fun! Who do you dream about most often?”

“Niall, Louis, Liam, and Zayn,” he replied honestly. Despite how many hot nights he had spent under her sheets in his dreams, his mind always went back to mourning the loss of his 1D days. “Now it’s my turn to ask a question?”

When Jeremy and Y/N nodded their confirmation, he nearly choked upon reading the top card. “Are you single?” He was being set up and he knew it. And he loved it.

“Yeah,” she replied with a toss of her beautiful hair. “And ready to mingle.”

“A better question is,” Jeremy added, “it’s Friday afternoon. You think you’ll still be single tomorrow morning?”

“Who knows?” she tossed the curly-headed boy beside her a tantalizing gaze. “I prefer to go with the flow.”

He laughed out loud at the comment, shifting the cards into his lap. Couldn’t he keep it in his pants for a few minutes?

After more questions and painful giggles, the interview was over and Harry was alone with Y/N backstage.

“I love that shirt on you,” she mentioned as she tugged at his collar. “It makes your eyes look really green.”

He grinned at her and they gave each other a mutual hug.

“Do you wanna come somewhere with me?” he asked and she nodded her approval.

“Where do you wanna go?”

“Out for dinner somewhere,” he responded, touching his hair nonchalantly.

“Of course!” she followed him as he headed for the exit, grinning at his sweet manor. “Or we could order takeout and eat it at my place,” she suggested and Harry agreed with that.

“I can call it in if you tell me what you want.”

“What do you want?” Harry asked his princess. “It’s up to you.”

She suggested an Italian restaurant that she loved and he found their menu as she slid into her car and he slid into his.

“Tell me what you want, quick,” he said, leaning his head out of the door.

“I’ll have chicken Alfredo,” she decided and his cheeks heated up, excited about the concept of being at her house.

“Okay! I’ll order it and have it delivered to… where?”

She gave him her address and he repeated it back as he prepared to dial the number on his phone. He was pleased with how his day was going. He was pleased that he had exchanged words and physical contact—hugs!—with Y/N. He just wanted to kiss her. That would make his day the best in history.

- - -

“You’re so cute,” he had barely gotten in the door and Y/N was already in front of him, arms hanging loosely around his neck, drawing him down to her height. “Can you kiss me?”

He groaned at the feeling of her hands on his face as she pressed her lips against his. They burned with passion he had no idea she felt for him and tasted like… true love. Not cheap, meaningless love, but real, dangerous love.

He opened his mouth for leverage and she took the opportunity to slip inside and begin exploring his mouth with her tongue. She tasted so good.

He moaned as he felt her tongue caress the inside of his cheek, stimulating him in ways he craved.

Her tongue slipped over the roof of his mouth, leaving a tingling sensation behind in its tracks.

The kiss only broke when there was a knock on the door and Harry straightened to open it. He exchanged a few words with the delivery person and Y/N grew increasingly irritated with the time he was taking. She placed his palm on top of hers and her other hand on top as he shut the door, setting down the food on the table beside the door.

“What is it, darling?” he asked, holding back giddy giggles.

“I wanna keep kissing you,” she explained. “You taste so sweet, feel so good on my tongue.”

“You taste exquisite yourself, cutie pie,” he commented as he smashed his lips back against hers.

She groaned out of pure joy as he slipped his tongue into her mouth, enjoying a flavor he could never find anywhere else. After kissing that pretty girl, he never wanted to put his lips on anyone else.

Her hands wandered curiously into his hair and she began twirling it subconsciously, syncing the twists to the movement of her tongue.

Eventually they pushed off of each other and walked into the living room with their food and Y/N directed Harry to the floor behind her coffee table, and in front of her couch.

He knelt awkwardly between the furniture, opening his takeout box as she turned on the television.

“Do you want anything to drink, Y/N?”

“Yeah. Actually… I have something.” She headed towards the kitchen and opened the cupboard, pulling out a bottle of wine and some glasses. “If you want any.”

She knelt beside him on the floor and opened her box, too.

Friends was playing as they ate, but they were doing anything but paying attention to it.

With every bite, Y/N scooted a little closer to Harry, until she was practically in his lap.

He noticed.

“Sweet angel, what are you doing?” he asked as she leaned against the side of his arm.

She used her fork to twirl up some pasta and she turned to look at Harry. “Try some!”

“Don’t want any, sorry,” he grinned as she put a hand on his knee to help her lean closer to him. She pushed her fork against his lips and he ate the pasta off of it, the thought of her mouth on it making him salivate.

“Is it good?”

He nodded. “It’s pretty good, but I’m full,” he leaned back against the couch behind them and sighed contentedly.

She turned to set her fork back down in her box before going back to Harry and licking a stripe across his face.

“What was that for?” he asked, stunned by her audacious actions.

“You look so yummy,” Y/N took a sip of her wine before turning around and sitting perpendicular to him. “I can get wet just looking at your gorgeous face, your curls, your soft, pink lips…”

He couldn’t help but admire her. He wondered if the extra pigment in her cheeks was makeup, the wine, or him. It was too perfect. It had to be makeup, right?

The way her eyelashes fluttered when she blinked was a drug to him. She was everything he wanted and so much more. She was his entire life.

He felt his cock twitch in his pants as she sat up and turned to look at him.

He grabbed her face and immediately began kissing her all over.

She sat there, in shock, as her face was covered in messy kisses. She shifted her body into his lap and felt how hard he was beneath her.

“Oh, fuck, Y/N,” he groaned. “Get offa me.”

“You’re…”

He looked at the ground, thoroughly embarrassed. “I’m sorry,” he said simply.

“It’s alright,” she assured him, “it’s cute.”

“It’s cute?”

“Yeah,” she kissed his cheek. “Where do you wanna go?”

His mouth fell open as he tried not to smile. “Your house, your choice.”

“This old couch should suffice, hm?”

He nodded, waiting for her permission to undress.

“Do you want to…”

He nodded desperately as she locked her lips onto his neck and kissed, tongue roaming around his skin.

He moaned continuously as she grabbed his pants zipper, giving it a tiny tug and urging him to take it off as she pulled up her skirt.

He gawked at seeing her panties, just thinking of her pussy underneath got his mind racing.

He unzipped his pants as he kissed her jaw and she could see a prominent erection in his underwear.

“Can I… suck you?” she asked, and the question alone caused him to moan.

“Please!”

He pulled his underwear off and dropped them beside him as he sat on the couch and she knelt before him, between his legs.

He tasted so good for her, the precum tasting like summer and joy.

“God… fuck…” he murmured as he felt her tongue lick long strokes up and down his cock. “Feels so good, princess,” he breathed. “Keep going, fuck, I already need to cum.”

“You can’t cum yet,” she mumbled through her mouthful. “I’ve barely gotten started with you.”

She loved the feeling of his skin beneath her tongue, the veins that were present on his length. He tasted so wonderful, and every move she made seemed to turn him on more and more.

He moaned almost ceaselessly as her tongue and lips wracked his cock, until she instructed him to cum. The release was impressive.

His eyes squeezed shut and his toes curled, as he moaned her name repeatedly.

“You’re okay,” she assured him as his orgasm reached an end, licking the leftover cum from her lips. “What now?”

He pressed his hard cock to her dripping pussy as he shifted to a lying position on her couch, pulling her on top of him.

She rode his cock, bouncing up and down on him as enjoyment played in his face, mixed with a withheld orgasm.

“You’re hot,” she said and the simple words made him throw his head back with a moan.

“I just want to fuck you.”

“Y/NNNNN,” he moaned and she grinned, moaning back.

“Harryyyy.”

Tears came to his eyes as he tried not to cum again, bucking his hips. Hearing her voice was amazing. But hearing her moan his name?

“You can’t cum yet, silly fuck. You’ve barely been in me for thirty seconds!” She must have seen the look of pain on his face, though, because she slowed down enough to give him a kiss on his cheek and ask if he wanted to keep going.

Once his consent was given and accepted, she sat back up as he drove his hard cock into her from below.

A burning sensation crept stealthily through her stomach as she bounced a little on his cock, as if she were riding a horse.

“Fuck, Harry,” she groaned. “You feel so good in me.”

He moaned before pleading one final time for her to let him cum, and she did, cumming right alongside him. The warm juices filled her cunt so well, she could barely breathe. She sat up in a bewildered Harry’s arms and nuzzled her face against his neck as the last of her orgasm exited her body.

“What did you really want to ask me earlier?”

“What?” he opened his sleepy green eyes, frowning in confusion.

“What did you want to ask me at the interview,” she repeated and he sighed wistfully. “I promise, I’ll answer.”

“How do you make me feel this way?”

“What way?”

“So good, so fucking good. So hard, all I wanna do is kiss you until we’re tired of it. Then I wanna lie down with you and sleep in your arms.” These sleepy thoughts provoked a deep yawn out of him and she grinned, stroking his hair gently.

“I don’t know, but I sure do love you.” A delicate kiss was placed upon his swollen lips as she directed him to the shower to rinse off as she cleaned up her couch. “This is more cum than I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” she remarked.

Harry groaned as he walked into her bathroom. It was immaculate. It practically sparkled and the counters… seemed a perfect height to ruin.

He stepped into the shower and rinsed himself off. He knew damn well he wouldn’t be able to sleep if he was all sweaty and covered in cum.

When he emerged from the shower, Y/N directed him to her bed and tucked him in among the silky pillows and sheets.

“I’ll be right back,” she explained, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You go to sleep.”

He waited up for her, despite her instructions, and she came back into the room clean and fresh.

She climbed into bed beside him and he nuzzled his nose into her damp hair. It smelled so good. He should go out and buy some just to smell and remind him of her.

“Sleep tight, darling,” she mumbled. “Do you wanna be big spoon or little spoon?”

He hesitated for a moment before deciding, “Little spoon.”

She rolled over as he curled up and cuddled up around him. Her hands rested comfortably on his lower torso and he fell asleep almost instantly at her touch, but not before asking, “So are you going to be single tomorrow morning?”

“I don’t know,” she grinned mysteriously. “Only time will tell. Sweet dreams!”

“Can we do it again tomorrow morning?”

Taglist: @madybeth21 @fishingirl12 @groovychaosavenue @sortingharryshairclip @mimischaos @mrspeacem1nusone

#angel in disguise #harry styles #dunkirk era harry #Harry styles fanfic #Harry styles imagine #Harry styles x y/n #Harry styles smut #Harry styles x singer!y/n #singer!y/n #flutterfly alley #yellow 💛 heart #Harry styles x plus size y/n

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locke-n-k3y · 4 months

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As we've gotten the last episode of dungeons and daddies of the year I wanted to take a bit of time to just kind of reflect on my experience with the series and what it's meant to me since I found, this will be an obnoxious long post and will be alot about my past relationship which was in short terms, not good, so please feel free to skip this post, it's more catharsis for me than anything

Up until July this year I'd been in a relationship for seven years, from the ages of 11-18 which is what I am now, over the course of those seven years I had my resolve drained out of me until I had no friends, no social media besides instagram and was steadily pulling away from my family to the point they were like strangers to me. I binded every day and endured constant transphobia and bodyshaming because I sincerely believed we were like soulmates (both trans and both outcasted) and it was meant to be.

This is all of course bad, but one of the most sinister things he did that I wouldn't have expected was he completely disabled ny ability to enjoy things. Prior to our relationship I was a phannie, I shipped Klance, I watched sanders sides religiously, I was a blossoming furry and brony and I liked these things loudly and proudly. And he made fun of and belittled these interests until I stopped participating in each and every one of them, until all my interests were either ones shared with him or ones he deemed acceptable.

And it didn't hit me how hard that followed me out of the relationship until I had to sit down and think about what I was into, and I came up totally blank, everything I liked was either tainted by memories of him or I had stopped engaging with so many years ago I wouldn't even know where to pick it up again.

And then like Mercy descending from the clouds I decided to go back through my podcasts and pick one, just one, and I happened to land on dndads. I'd previously listened to episode one with him but it had been a resounding no on his end so I put it down and never looked back. Until now. I hit play on that first episode and the next two weeks were a complete blur as I binged every ounce of content, after I caught up on the first two seasons at breakneck pace I used my meager funds to sub to the patreon and listened through everything there as well.

It was the first time in seven freaking years I'd been this excited about anything, I was going on walks as an excuse to listen to more, I was obsessively looking for fans on tiktok and posting in the discord. I was stimming more than I had in my whole life and talking again, in a lot of ways it felt like looking at myself again, I cut my hair and dyed it blonde (totally not because of Henry) I started buying clothes that I actually liked because I felt more confident in myself.

And then after unsuccessfully hunting for a community I said fuck it and redownloaded tumblr, somehow remembered the login to this account and I posted some fanart of Scary Marlowe, honestly not expecting anything to come of it, and then it got some reblogs, people liked it and I kept posting and I made moots and I talked to people and just-

I cannot thank the daddies themselves enough for bringing me into this and I cannot thank literally every single person who has ever liked or reblogged one of my posts, especially my moots, enough. You guys seriously made what was shaping up to be the worst year of my life the best year ever, and I'm not like better, it's only been 5 months and I'm very much still shaking off his effects but things are okay, O-A-K if you will, and I'm more confident that like I will be okay if that makes sense? So just like yeah, thank you, seriously, I love this fandom and everyone in it so much and this whole not-a-bdsm-podcast thing really helped me in a very very dark time <3

#locke lore #hhhh #this might be too emotional for main but it's quarter past four in the morning and I'm tired #I love my mutuals so much u don't get it #softly kissing them all on the heqd and tucking them into bed #dndads

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prof-peach · 2 years

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Sorry if this has been asked before, it wouldn't surprise me if it was and I just didn't see it, but what inspired you to make this blog? Honestly I'm just really curious because you've poured so much time and effort and love into this and it makes my sad stupid mushy heart feel nice. Thanks for your hard work, as always! <3

Honestly? I just really love pokemon.

I grew up on the stuff, was a kid when the first game came out, remember getting my gameboy and copy of pokemon red playing it for hours. Watched it religiously on the TV, sunday morning cartoons, played every entry that came after, fell totally head over heels for it all.

Then I grew up, and realised not only did I still love it, and had all this impossible to use information in my brain about it all, that would be totally useless in the adult world. So I figured I should take a shot at making what I love the most, and my trained job of illustrating, and put it together somehow, see if I could make enough money off it to live. It's been tough, some months you really scrape by, but i've been free to do what I truly adore doing, and for the most part it's worked!

I will continue to do this until it's not viable, but seems like the more time I put in, the more I get out. I've been very lucky.

I think I must have read it in a magazine, or seen it in a show or something, but theres a Japanese word for it (if i'm not mistaken):

Ikigai. Your reason for being.

I'm probably paraphrasing a bit here, but its like, finding what you're good at (your purpose) what you can get paid for (a profit) and a thing the world needs (problems to cater to)

If you can do that, you could find a perfect line of work. So I did that.

#and here i am folks #still making content #and i will NEVER STOP #prof.peach #ooc

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fabfemmeboy · 1 year

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One of the things that strikes me, looking back, is both how long it took to get marriage equality and then how quickly it happened.

Like...we got married in 2008, as part of that pre-prop 8 cohort where it was legal in California for 3 months. I still get instinctively angry thinking about election night 2008; everyone else was celebrating tolerance and diversity and I was refreshing state returns and watching my marriage be dissolved in the most liberal state in the country.

(Turned out it didn’t actually dissolve my marriage because the writers of the legislation didn’t know what the hell they were doing, so it wasn’t retroactive. But they tried, and there was a whole court case about whether we + 18,000 other couples were still married.)

So from 6/2008-1/2013, we were simultaneously legally married and not legally married. If we had lived in California, we would have had state marriage rights but we lived in Maryland, which at the time didn’t recognize same-sex marriages. We had to get really creative when my partner applied to school because he was under 27 and “not married” so he needed his parents’ information for FAFSA, but his parents had literally taken him to conversion camp on his birthday so we didn’t talk to them. We did all our taxes with him as a random dependent member of my household. And every time I filled out forms from HR, like insurance or whatever, my first question was “Where is this being adjudicated?” Because in some states, I was allowed to list him as my partner. In others I had to list him as a random beneficiary. I remember I was all excited when it turned out that one of our policies was out of Iowa, which had just recognized marriage equality, so I got to list him as my legal spouse. Oh, and the HR director was uber-religious and got mad at me every time I asked and just said “Write what’s true!” Well, it’s true that I’m married and I have the certificate to prove it, but this is a law office and you’re HR so you know damn well it’s not that simple.

Then Maryland started recognizing out-of-state marriages if they were valid when performed. So our taxes that year were weird. We were single in the eyes of the Federal government, but married in the eyes of the state. So we (like countless other taxpayers) had to do two sets of tax returns: the federal ones we actually filed, and a “dummy federal” that showed what our numbers would have been if we’d been considered married, so we could use those numbers to put on our state returns. By that point, lots of states (mostly California, New England, and Iowa) had people in the same situation. And I still had to ask “what state is this form for?” for everything, but at least I was at a job where the HR person wasn’t so awful.

Then on 6/26/13, DOMA was struck down (and so was Prop 8, which I actually celebrated harder because it was Personal). So for our 2014 taxes, we just did one set as we were federally married. And originally people in states that didn’t recognize their marriage were supposed to still be unmarried for federal taxes, but the Obama administration said you could file as married anyway, so people had to still do dummy returns - only this time with federal-married and state-unmarried.

it took another 2 years before it was finally just legal. Everywhere.

In reality, it wasn’t all that long. Universal marriage equality nationwide was ordered the day before our 7th anniversary. But it felt like a lifetime. And that’s nothing compared to the people who had a handful of domestic partnerships or civil unions beforehand because states kept changing their minds, or who got married in the 2004 window in California (which was much shorter than the 2008 window). And the roughly 8 years since marriage equality was ordered nationwide feels like another lifetime - like we’ve had it forever, even though (for perspective) it had been in place for fewer than 5 years before the pandemic hit. Time is so fucking weird.

#personal #rambling #marriage equality #i've been in a weird place lately in terms of thinking about where i've been #mostly because i did a whole thing for my chorus about when i was coming out as trans and such #and it's made me...not nostalgic - god no - but taking stock i guess

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brokebonewritings · 2 years

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When the World Caves In - Part 2

Marc Spector x gn!Reader

Warnings/Tags: 18+, Angst, Hurt/Comfort

Summary: New revelations are made about your mission. Marc takes the news of what you have found very hard.

Word Count: 2K

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You wake up from the desk you were sleeping on in a cold sweat. How long had you been out for? You felt like it had been an eternity since you began your search.

The real time had been just about 2 week. That’s how long you had been searching for the 3 items. So far, you have only found one item, the spell of the scales.

It was eerily similar to the one you remember Harrow having on his forearm, but you swept that memory under the rug.

The second item you were searching for was a heart. Not specifically anyone's heart, just a heart. You felt as if you were getting closer to it by the minute. The closer you were to finding the heart, the closer you were to finally reuniting with your boys.

Any progress on the Heart, my pet? You jumped at Ma’at’s sudden voice.

“I am one step closer. I can feel it has to be in one of these boxes here.” You happily say. You stand up and begin to rummage around the wooden crates next to your desk.

You feel a hand resting on your shoulder, which makes you stop your current task.

I have a proposition for you, y/n. She says. One I think you might enjoy.

This makes your ears perk up a bit. Maybe you will finally be getting help looking for these items. You really could use it, after all, this was a lot of work for one person to accomplish.

“What is your proposition?” You ask, turning your head towards her.

I am allowing you to return to your body. She says and you stand immediately. However, in 3 months time, you will return here to finish your work.

“And after that?”

Then if you wish to be free. You will be free.

You think about it for a moment. Of course you want to be reunited with Marc, but you were so close to the second task being done.

“May I… finish the second task? After I find the heart, may I return to my body?” You ask, and you can see a faint smile spread across her face.

Very well. She starts. Once you find the heart, bring it to me and I shall return your soul.

You watch her leave and your search for the heart begins once again. This time you are leaving no clue untouch, no stone unturned. You must find this heart.

Marc walks up the stairs to the flat, the same old shit as the last two weeks. Steven goes to work, Jake makes them stop to play chess with the old Greek man in the park, and Marc goes to every library, bookstore, or religious shop on their side of town.

He had to find a way to bring you back. Khonshu was not helping whatsoever, and he didn't have the patience of waiting around and finding out if you would even return.

Once they got up the stairs, they could feel a presence lingering in the dark.

“What do you want?” Marc spoke suddenly.

I sense something in your room.

“Yeah, remember, y/n is still in there” He replied to the God.

Marc stood in front of the door, and waited a moment. Stupid fucking bird. Taking out his keys, he unlocked the door and walked inside.

Something was definitely off, Marc turned on the lights to discover you were no longer laying in the bed. He threw his stuff on the ground and walked fully into the apartment.

Looking in the living area and kitchen, not finding you there, he stopped and placed his fingers on his temple. For a brief moment, he thought he was completely by himself.

“Marc?” Your voice came into the air without notice. He whipped around to find you standing there, hair dripping wet and fresh pajamas on.

He rushed forward, and nearly tackled you after realizing you were actually there in front of him. You could feel his whole body shaking as he held you tightly.

“Marc, baby.” You began to cry, the both of you dropping to your knees.

“Y/n.” He choked out. “I thought I lost you. WE thought we lost you.”

You shook your head. This was the hardest reunion you had ever had with the boys. Usually it was just tight hug, a kiss, something more.

“I thought I would never see you again!” You sobbed.

The both of you sat on the ground and cried. Hearts yearning for each other, and needed to be in each other’s arms.

Once the both of you had calmed down, you moved to the couch. Still in each other's embrace, you sat in silence.

“How did you do it?” His voice sounded rough. “I never stopped looking for a way to get you back.”

“Ma’at.. She gave me permission to come back.” You replied slowly. “But Marc, I-“

“Shh. I know.” He said drying your eyes. “I know of her deals.”

That voice didn't belong to Marc. You look up to see Steven staring back at you. Sweet Steven.

Tears began to fall from your eyes again. You had to treat every moment as if it was your last with them.

You learned that the last item needed was an event. An event from the searcher specifically. One that was most dear and precious to them.

For you, It was the day you met Steven in a coffee shop. The day that changed your life for the better. Without that event taking place, you would have never fallen in love with all three of them.

“Steven, I’m scared.” You cried. “I don’t know what to do.”

“What exactly is she having you do?” He asked.

“She’s having me find the key to social balance…” You began. “I have to find 3 items to create the key.”

“Well that shouldn’t be so hard!” He cheered. “How many have you got so far?”

You shook your head. The thought of having to tell them that you wouldn’t remember them after going back, kills you.

“It’s not that simple, Steven..” You look up at him to see his big puppy dog eyes. “I have two, but the last one..”

You get up from the couch and start pacing around the room. All he could do is sit there and watch as you contemplate, telling him or not. You stop, and turn to him.

“Remember the day that we met?” You ask abruptly. This put a smile on his face.

“Course! You accidently spilled your Americano all over me.” You blushed at the remark, you had forgotten about that.

“It was the happiest day of my life, Steven!” You rushed over to him. Kneel down between his legs, he scooted forward and touched your cheek gently.

“What about it, love?” He questioned.

“The last item I need… is to forget that that ever happened..” You replied, looking down.

“What?” The voice turned rough again. Marc.

Hearing his voice made you look up suddenly. His eyebrows tight together making the worry line on his forehead more prominent.

“Marc, I” You began to speak, but every word began to fail you. Of course Marc was going to take this the hardest, because he has grown most attached to you.

“What do you mean you have to forget that ever happened?” He asked.

“I have to give up my happiest memory, which is you, don’t you understand?!” You cried. “I’m so scared because I don’t want you to be that! I don’t want to give you up!”

He pulled you into his lap, caressing your hair and whispering little affirmations to you. This was hard for him to hear of course, but there had to be a way to save you.

It wasn't just your life this was messing with, it was all of theirs. You had no idea this is what would happen and neither did he.

You woke up the next morning with strong arms wrapped around you. It was the best night's sleep you had had in a while. You turn your head to see Marc sleeping still. The same hard expression on his face like always.

As you roll over, you can see him begin to grimace and open his eyes. When he sees that you’re awake, he gives a small smile out the corner of his mouth.

“Buenos días, mi amor.” You giggle as you realize Jake was the one holding you all night.

“Good morning, my love.” You mimic back. He pulls you in closer. “Jake?”

“Yes, amor?” He opens one of his eyes to look at you.

“Can you tell me how much you love me?” You ask. The reassurance was much needed to you.

It broke his heart hearing the question come out your mouth. Usually when he fronted you both were in bed with no clothes on. However, he understood that you needed him to be the rock.

“Y/n, I love you more than the tide loves the moon. You are my world, my entire existence. Mi vida.”

“I love you.” You say tilting your head up and kissing him.

You both laid in bed for a few more hours. It was a lazy morning spending it with all the men you loved. Once you both decided to get up, Steven fronted.

Since it was a Wednesday, he very much still had to go to work. Before leaving, he peppered you with kisses and would not let go of your hand. He was always so sweet when saying goodbye.

Once he left you were alone. You weren’t going to lie, being alone now left you scared. However, now you could try to figure out what to do.

There was no sense in talking to Ma’at, since before you left she disappeared when you asked about the last item. Maybe Khonshu… Maybe.

“Hello?” You say standing in the living room. “Khonshu?”

Silence. You wait a moment before sitting on the bed. Sometimes Gods answer and sometimes they don’t.

The day went on as usual. You used Steven’s laptop to research more on Ma’at. Not that Steven hasn’t told you enough. The internet was a marvel though. You learned that the ancient Egyptians believed that she brought the universe to order. Even about how her ostrich feather was used to judge their hearts in the Duat.

You should not question a God when they need you, Y/n

You look in the reflection of the computer screen to see Khonshu sitting in his beloved armchair.

“Would you? If you weren’t a God, would you give up everything for them?” You ask as you swivel around in the chair. The air was tight in the flat.

I would do as I must, and trust that fate is by my side.

“Fate? What would you know about fate?” You spat.

I know fate well enough to trust that you will be brought back to him.

This made you shut your mouth. He was a higher being after all. Most of what he says has meaning and truth to it.

“Khonshu, Do you really believe that fate will bring me to Marc again?” You question. This was something that has been on your mind the past few days.

I do not believe it. I know. He begins. It doesn’t see you for what you are, it sees you for what you’re about to be.

With that, He disappeared. As you watch him leave, you hear the front door open. You turn your head to see Steven walk through the door.

“Hiya! I brought you some soup.” He says as he drops the bag on the counter. “I didn’t know which type to get, so I just guessed. That’s alright, yeah?”

You smile as you stand to greet him. Walking over, you hug him from behind. Knowing the new information you received, set your heart at ease. Everything was going to be okay. You just had to be patient.

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A/N: I'm tagging these people because they commented about wanting a part 2! Thank you everyone for reading, and liking, and reblogging! It really means so much!! And again if you want to be tagged when the next part comes out please lmk through my ask box or comment!

taglist: @topstory21 @renee834729 @in-between-the-cafes

#marc spector x reader #marc spector #moon knight #marc spector x you #marc spector fanfiction #steven grant #jake lockley #oscar issac #moonknight imagines #moonknight x reader #fanfiction #fanfiction writer #writer #marvel #mcu

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littleragondin · 2 months

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SHIPPER TAG GAME

I was tagged by @lurkingshan, thank you very much (´꒳`)♡ My memory is not the best so some of these are going to be a little challenging lol but let’s try!

1. What ship were you completely obsessed with when you were a teenager, but now you don't care anymore?

I don’t know how to “not care” about things I once loved I’m afraid lol. But ships that consumed my life that I now don’t think about very often and am more “what a good surprise to see you here, I still like you" than "oh you are back to consume my life for the next two to fifteen months" are most of the things I watched when I was younger: Logan/Max from Dark Angel, Sam/Jack and Daniel/Jack from Stargate:SG1, Jim/Blair from The Sentinel, Piper/Leo from Charmed, Tim/Tony and Gibbs/Tony from NCIS, etc...

2. Which ship would you consider your first one?

Hmmm… I think the first time I felt emotionally invested in two characters ending up together – in a “watching religiously and asking my mom to tape the wedding episode because we would be traveling on the day it was to be diffused” kind of way – is Fran Fine and Maxwell Sheffield from The Nanny.

We knew they were end game, but STILL!

3. Your first fanfic belonged to which couple?

Oh, good question… I came into fandom via manga and while they were not the ones I shipped the hardest (I was a hardcore Gaara/Lee fan ♡♡♡), I think the first fics I read were NaruSasu and/or Kakashi/Iruka – on personal fan websites.

The first shipping fic I wrote hmmm… I think it actually was some Kakashi/Iruka? I tumbled into fandom really fast once I found it so it’s a bit of a blur lol but yeah, pretty sure it was something Naruto related.

4. Do you remember the first couple you saw a fanart over?

… Not really, but probably either something from One Piece (Zorro/Luffy or Zorro/Sanji) or Neon Genesis Evangelion – those two were the very first manga I read (circa 2002), and I vaguely remember checking them on Google Image for my favorite hobby: “collecting images from the internet that I would then organize carefully in the computer’s little folders” so I must have found some cute stuffs that I didn’t even realize were shipping…

5. Did you ever get into ship discourse?

No. While I generally have strong opinions about stuff, I am pretty non confrontational and I’m here for a good time, not to fight with people, so I avoid it. I’ve seen stuffs that I’m glad I didn’t poke with a ten feet pole. On top of that, I am a huge believer and practitioner of “shipping one character with more than one person (in a polycule or not)” so ship wars have never made much sense to me. Even in qL, even when I really adore the endgame couple(s), I often like thinking of the options, the what-if, etc. so fighting about that does not sound appealing lol

6. Did you used to have any no-otp or have it currently?

Talking about my very first fandoms, I never wanted Sakura with either Naruto nor Sasuke lol I loved her, but hated the idea of either options. Still not sold on it tbh. I also really hated the idea of Hermione with either of the other two lsdfj same reason, I loved her so much, and I loved that they were friends!

I have ships I am uninterested in but I always feel like notp is a little stronger than that, so I don’t think I have any currently.

7. Who were the couple in the last fanfic you read?

Oof, okay, life does come back full circle lol I binged the One Piece Live Action at the start of the month, so the last fics I’ve read since were all Zorro/Luffy.

8. Currently, do you have any OTPs?

DO I EVER?? I have OTP that have been in my heart since I’m 10. And, I mean, by virtue of watching so much QL I have an OTP in every couple I watch get together for 8 to 12 episodes, I’m a big, mushy romantic. Also I will daydream about ships from about anything I watch so…But! My current OTP, the one that owns my heart, that gets me to literally squeal in delight, makes me gasp and cry and twirl my hair while kicking my feet is Nomoto and Kasuga from She loves to cook and she loves to eat!

I love them sooooo much it’d be ridiculous if I had any sort of dignity about that kind of things (I don’t) (*´▽`*)

9. Is there any couple that, to this day, you are extremely mad about not getting together?

Ok you know what? I rewatched some episodes with my mom over my christmas break so I will say yes, Jack O’Neil and Samantha Carter in Stargate:SG1. Yeah, yeah I don’t care that he is her commanding officer and blablabla.

After all this teasing, damn, we could have gotten a little something something when the team finally breaks alright?

10. Is there any ship you used to dislike but now you think they are kind of interesting?

I can’t really think of anything right now to be honest… I feel like anything I’d feel strongly enough to remember I would still dislike now, though, to be frank.

11. Do you have any ship that, in the past, was considered normal but now you would be canceled over?

I guess? I mean, I came to fandom and to QL via yaoi – wich I started reading around 2005, so you can imagine the amount of “problematic” content I enjoyed. Age gaps (I was a HUGE fan of Naono Bohra who like those a lot), power imbalance, dub-con (one of the first yaoi translated in France was Gravitation), and so on and so forth.

12. What was your favorite crack ship?

I can’t answer that one, mainly because I used to have so many of them (I still do, don’t look at me). I got into superheros comics when I was something like 18 and I did RP with a friend where looking back, it seems like our main game was to pair everyone no matter how silly it might have been. I guess in those, I still have a fondness for everything we did that crossed the DC/Marvel divide. We also played a lot with those random ship generators? They gave you two characters and you tried to find a way to make it work. I still like those!

13. Who is the couple you read more fanfics of?

Across all of time?? I… have no idea… like really none. Recently, it’s probably any variations of 3zuns from The Untamed, but for the early years I could not say.

14. What most of your ships usually have in common?

The love I have for them (*¯︶¯*)

Joke aside, I’m not sure? I’m a simple creature, I’m easily swayed, if there is something compelling in the dynamic, I will be interested. I like them sweet but I also have pretty toxic ships, so I think the main thing for me is that there is something interesting going on that makes me want to root for them and/or think about them and how they work together.

15. What do you absolutely hate in a ship?

I need to believe there is a way for them to genuinely love each other. But sometimes, ~the vibes~ just feel rancid to me and I can’t get into it, I can’t explain more than that ^^”

I'll tag, if you feel so inclined: @benkaaoi @troubled-mind @bengiyo @gillianthecat @iguessitsjustme and @heretherebedork

#ok that was a fun trip down memory lane lol #so much shonen manga in my first fandom years #then I tumbled into yaoi and here we are #tag games

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