#i might be in the minority where i actually liked the drama
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I Want You to Stay (12) | JJK
Pairing: Jungkook x (f.) Reader
Genre/Tags: boss!JK x assistant!reader; idiot strangers to lovers; slow slow burn; k-drama feels; angst, drama, fluff, smut
Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, unhealthy coping mechanisms; family drama; minor injuries; power dynamics (JK starts off as a jerk); work-related anxiety, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; mentions of childhood traumatic experiences, nightmares; sexual harassment, attempted assault; mention of past experience of domestic violence (PLS PLS BE CAREFUL WHEN READING); arts, business/property devt, and book talk that’s probably inaccurate; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters; cold and detached JK; sexual content (18+)
Chapter Word count: 24.7k
Series Masterlist
Status: Ongoing
Series summary: Working for Jungkook isn’t the same as working for Hoseok. For starters, Jungkook doesn’t smile, he doesn’t appreciate you, and he gives you too much work. It doesn’t help that he’s incredibly handsome and has women at his beck and call. But as the tension grows, it becomes impossible to resist him. You’ve dedicated yourself to your job for 8 years so when you finally decide to put yourself first, he asks you to reconsider. And while you know that leaving is difficult, you learn that when it comes to Jungkook, staying is always so much harder.
Playlist 🎶: on the way home
A/N: Hiii so this took a while but thank for being patient and showing so much love! This might sting a bit but I hope you enjoy it. We're close to the end so don't lose hope! 🤭🤭
And as always, my biggest thanks to @wonwoonlight 🥰
PS. If I can’t tag you, pls fix your settings!
There’s a kind of pain you don’t want to experience, one of a broken heart caused by someone you’ve given your all to. This doesn’t feel like that, but it’s close.
It’s so damn close that you feel your chest tightening, the unfamiliar feeling of loss of a person you never even had overwhelming you. You press your palms on your ears to block the sound of your heart breaking, but even that doesn’t do anything.
You let go, your fingers now shaking as you type away. Jungkook has asked you to send him your resignation letter so he can forward it to HR for documentation. It’s like saying goodbye to him all over again, and it doesn’t hurt any less.
This is all on you though, you remind yourself. Wanting him was wrong in the first place - he’s your boss, the man who pays you, who needs you so he could do his job, so you could make his life easier. But he’s also the son of the man that your family is indebted to; a man who, in a lot of ways, shaped the way you approach life and determine what you want out of it. Jungkook stands as a reminder of who you are and where you came from, of the childhood you had, and the decisions you made to get to where you are now. You let your guard down and let him in, and you let yourself fall for a man whose own past was always going to intertwine with yours.
You don’t know what you were thinking, kissing him and believing that things would fall into place. That was the thing - he kissed you and you kissed him back, a moment of weakness that you had no business having, as if almost doing it the first time wasn’t bad enough. You planned on leaving, and you hoped that you’d get to tell him on your own terms, that you’d have time to process your feelings and then explain yourself to him, that you’d be able to process his feelings and see the sincerity in them.
But life doesn’t always play out the way you want to, and you can keep thinking that people would react the way you hope they would but you’re human. You fell into his touch and wanted so much of it that you couldn’t think properly. He asked you to stay - expected it actually, which is the last thing you wanted him to do.
And now you’re left here with a lot of emotions that you don’t know what to do with - all conflicting, all overwhelming, and all seemingly out of your control.
You can’t deny what you feel for Jungkook. The thought that he feels the same should be something you welcome, but with how you both learned about it, and with him now knowing the secret you’ve been keeping, it’s hard to think how you both could move forward without those feelings of doubt, perhaps of distrust. You know enough that those aren’t good starting points for any relationship.
You’re doing what you have to do. Resigning was always the plan, but doing it this way wasn’t. You also didn’t expect you’d be leaving so much more than just a team you enjoy being a part of and a boss you’ve come to admire, a man who’s come to mean a lot of things to you.
And so even if this is the decision you’ll make every single time, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt you to be making it. Perhaps it’s now just dawning on you that you’re truly walking away from this job, and that may mean walking away from, too. This is when you realize just how big that loss is gonna be.
Jungkook made you braver. He made you feel understood and less alone. He showed you that beautiful things do exist, that you can capture them so you could hold onto the good memories, and doing that is one way to move on from the things that hurt.
Without realizing it, he’d become the person you were willing to crawl out of your walls for. But just like him, maybe your timing wasn’t right either. No matter how strong the feelings are, something just happens to be more important than being with him - feeling free is one, knowing that you’re able to do this for yourself is another. There’s wanting sincerity, too, on his end and on yours.
You know you need time to sort yourself out, to know what you want outside of all this, but the way he goes on about his business is affecting you more than you expected. He’s essentially giving you two weeks to stay in the office. He’s having Lucas fly in immediately. The implications are breaking you even more - perhaps you’ll be kept out of the projects; maybe you’ll no longer do your morning routines with him.
Perhaps he’s still overwhelmed about everything he knows. And perhaps he’s realizing he doesn’t want that complication in his life anymore. Maybe he doesn’t want to deal with you and the mess you created, given all the stress and pressure he’s under.
Maybe you were that easy to let go, too.
The thought feels like a slap on the face.
But you’re the foolish one who wanted to leave but who also hoped he’d go after you. He didn’t do it last Friday. He’s not going to do that now. You doubt that after your last day, he would do it either.
The tears dance around your eyelids. Everything becomes blurry, and after the first one falls, you stand from your desk and head to the washroom. You give yourself just 10 minutes to silently cry. You hadn’t prepared for this enough, and now the thought of saying goodbye to the team and leaving Jungkook during a big project launch weighs heavily on you.
You calm yourself down, thinking that if you’d chosen to delay it, everything else would be harder - seeing him, being close to him, knowing you both feel the same way but not knowing if that’s enough. Or if it’s real.
You get to be selfish this time and leave for your own reasons. You get to choose which heartbreak you’ll face and for how long you’ll feel it. You get to decide which burdens you’ll carry and what you’re walking away from.
The team will understand. You’ll give your all for the next few weeks you’ll be around and make sure that Lucas guides them well. Hoseok will be supportive. You know that he’ll always encourage you to go where you’re happiest. You just hope he won’t carry any guilt for being one of the reasons why you stayed now that he knows the truth. CEO Jeon might still ask you to wait, or he might just not want to see you again if he knows what really happened with his son, and that’s something you’ll have to learn to deal with as well. You don’t want to think you’re burning bridges with this decision, but you also know that those who truly care would want this for you, too.
But despite all that, the guilt and the sadness don’t go away. You’d once thought you could be happy with Jungkook. He’d given you a peek into a life where you could be, and he’d given you a taste of what it’s like to feel that all-consuming desire for someone. You don’t know if you’ll have that or feel that again for another person, but you at least now know what you’re searching for.
Maybe you’ll get over yourself and find the words to tell him what you feel or hope for both of you. Maybe you’ll find your way back to each other someday. You might also have to face the possibility that this decision is what pulls you apart for good, and the thought breaks your heart again.
You take a deep breath and close your eyes. You think of the comfort of your morning routines and the shared silence. You think about the warmth you felt from all the food he’d sent when you were sick and injured. You think about that night you felt brave because he’d been with you when you were scared. You think about the tranquility of being in his presence as you gazed at the mountains and felt free being outdoors. You think about feeling understood during the times when you’d been honest and so had he.
These are the good memories he gave you, the ones you’ll hold onto as you go through all this. You wonder if he keeps them in a nook in his heart the way you do, and if he’ll hold onto them as well as you walk away from him and from what you could’ve been.
The thoughts are enough to suspend your sadness for a while. You fix yourself up and while it wasn’t a big cry, your slightly swollen eyes could still give you away. You decide it’s not much of a problem. Until, of course, when you make it back to your desk, about to sit down to resume your tasks, and Jungkook opens his door and locks eyes with you.
There’s a moment where you hold each other’s gazes, and you see his face fall a little, softening briefly before he looks away, the seriousness coming back again. He attempts to say something but he stops, looking down at the papers he’s holding instead and asks you to photocopy them for distribution to the team.
You nod in confirmation, and as you’re about to walk out, Hoseok shows up.
“Are you free?” He asks Jungkook. “I need to run some things with you.”
“Sure,” Jungkook replies, glancing at you before walking back to his room.
Hoseok finally turns to you and sees your glassy eyes. His face falls, unsure how to comfort you during this time. He was never sure how to do that before, and he feels heavier thinking that so many times when you still worked for him, you probably wanted to quit but couldn’t. And that maybe his claims of needing you around to help him helped keep you here, in a place that wasn’t giving you that joy and satisfaction that you deserve.
“___,” he calls out. “I got the notice. How are you feeling?”
“Well, I see that word travels fast,” you giggle, an attempt to avoid a somber conversation. You also don’t know how to explain whatever it is you’re feeling so it’s not something you’re keen on addressing.
“HR was actually the one that informed me and uncle,” he explains. “Losing you is a big deal so they thought to let us know right away. And I only mean that because you’re an integral part of this company. And you… you matter to my family. You matter to me, and I know you matter to him.”
Hoseok gestures towards Jungkook’s direction, prompting you to look away. The man in front of you sighs and apologizes, adding that you’ve come to mean so much to the people he cares for, including his wife.
“You welcomed me to your family, Hoseok,” you respond. “You and A-yeong treated me like one and I always will be. But none of the sadness yet. I’ll still be here for the next month.”
“I’ll take my time in saying goodbye then,” he says, his genuine smile serving as the comfort you badly need. “And I hope it’s not for good.”
“Not to you,” you assure him. “I’m not that easy to get rid of.”
“Good,” he says, his eyes softening in understanding and acceptance. “I’ll just meet with Jungkook. I’ll catch up with you soon, okay?”
“Okay,” you say. “And uh, thank you.”
Your smile holds in it a lot of emotions for the man who’s become your friend all these years. And you know that whatever happens with Jungkook, Hoseok will always be a person you’ll treasure.
You walk out while he enters the room and closes the door.
Jungkook’s eyebrows are scrunched as he gives instructions over the phone while also typing on his desktop. Hoseok can sense the stress and tension all over his cousin, and he hopes that especially with this, the younger man finds it in him to talk about what he’s feeling. There’s fear that he’ll keep it all to himself again, and in doing so, he might just push you away even more.
“Hey, how are you holding up?” Hoseok asks after the call ends.
“I don’t really want to talk about it,” Jungkook huffs.
There’s a beat of silence before Hoseok speaks again. “So, you already have a replacement for ___, huh?” He says, having just heard Jungkook’s conversation about Lucas’ work visa requirements over the phone. “Isn’t that too fast?”
“The Arts Center launch is in a couple of weeks. I can’t have delays,” Jungkook explains. “Sending Lucas here will require less time than looking for a new assistant. He’s familiar with the project and he’s used to working for me so he can take over with the preparations. I’ve received father’s approval for his transfer.”
“What about ___, then?”
“What about her?” Jungkook asks bitterly. “She’s resigned. I’ll have her focus on turning everything over and documenting key projects and practices. She has vacation leaves to use up for the last month she’s here.”
“Just like that?” Hoseok questions. “She resigns today and then you’ve gotten everything sorted out for her departure, just like that? As if you can’t wait for her to leave?”
“She wanted this,” Jungkook counters. “You heard what Mr. Ri said. She’s been wanting to do this for years, and I’m just making sure she’s not bothered by what she’s leaving behind. Having Lucas here will assure her that the team will continue to function and that she’s not delaying anything by deciding to leave. She doesn’t have to worry about anything.”
And it’s the truth. Hearing what you went through and that you’d thought of resigning several times before makes Jungkook think that you haven’t been happy here for a long while. He’s unsure if you’d always planned on leaving before the Arts Center launch, or if what happened last Friday prompted you to do this now. But still, it seemed so easy for you to make the decision, as if you can’t wait to leave him, as if being around him hurts you that much, as if you know that whatever it is you’re looking for isn’t here.
Jungkook spent all of last weekend replaying that night in his mind - from the way you pulled him close to you and to the way his heart broke when you pulled away. He doesn’t know what you want from him. You kissed him as if you wanted him. He felt your desire as your hands danced around his chest, as you moaned against his lips, as you thrusted against him like you wanted more, and he would’ve given it all to you, he would’ve given you everything, but the words he’d never told anyone slipped from his mouth and somehow, that’s what made you create that distance.
Perhaps it’s what made you not want to stay.
But he wouldn’t have known because he didn’t ask. At the thought of you no longer being by his side, he faltered. At the thought of losing the routine you’ve both created and the comfort you’ve been giving him everyday, he caved in. He lost all sense and just wanted to keep you. He’d disregarded every rule, crossed every boundary he created, and thought of nothing else but to be with you. He made the mistake of not thinking about you, the person he wants.
He naively believed that your expression of desire meant that nothing else mattered - you’d be with him regardless. But he realized that maybe he doesn’t know you at all. He would’ve risked everything but maybe you wouldn’t. You make him happy and that’s all he cares about but maybe he’s not enough for you. He’d do anything to be with you everyday but maybe that’s not what you want.
The thought that that moment made you realize that maybe, he’s not what you wanted after all creates another crack in his heart. That cold, stubborn heart of his hasn’t felt much in years but it betrayed him this time. It called out for you and he’s afraid to find out that it still will, after everything.
“Have you spoken to her?” Hoseok pulls him out of his thoughts.
“Yeah,” Jungkook replies. “I gave her my recommendation letter, told her about Lucas replacing her, and that she still has leaves to take.”
“I meant about both of you,” Hoseok clarifies. “About what you both feel, about what that means and what happens after that.”
“What is there to talk about?” Jungkook groans. “She left me that night. I come here today with a resignation letter on my desk. She doesn’t want anything to do with me.”
“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t want you,” Hoseok says.
“It doesn’t mean she does,” Jungkook counters. “Clearly, her happiness outside of this company is her priority. And it should be. She doesn’t have a reason to stay here anymore.”
“And what if that happiness could include you? Did you even think about that?”
“Then she could’ve said that if she wanted to. It was her decision, it was her call.”
“You think it’s that easy to say that? Then why don’t you go ahead and tell her what you feel and want?”
“I did!” Jungkook almost yells now, thankful for the thick walls of this room. “And she pulled away! She said she couldn’t do this, that she couldn’t do this with me. That tells me everything I need to know, Hoseok. Whatever she feels for me isn’t that strong. I was stupid to believe an overheard conversation. I heard that she liked me and I thought, all I had to do was tell her that I felt the same way. But it wasn’t enough. I asked her to stay and she said she couldn’t. I don’t matter to her. Not in the way that she matters to me.”
“Why did she cry, then?” Hoseok asks. “Did you notice that?”
Of course Jungkook did. He’s seen you cry a few times, a sight he never wants to see again, and seeing your puffy eyes earlier made him want to just forget everything and hug you so he could help make the hurt go away. It’s something he’s wanted to do before and there’s a reason why he never did. Today, he knew that doing so would make it harder for him. So all he could do was look away.
“She wouldn’t be that upset if all this didn’t matter to her. If you didn’t matter that much to her,” Hoseok adds.
“This job mattered to her, too. You and I know how she works. Maybe there’s guilt or worry that she’s leaving at this critical time, which is why I’m trying to make the transition easy,” Jungkook reasons. “She’s leaving a lot of things and people behind and that could be hard for anyone. She’s crucial to the team but I don’t want there to be anything else that would hold her back. Not anymore.”
“But all these arrangements… it’s as if it’s so easy to replace her,” Hoseok sighs. “Are you even giving yourself time to just process all of this?”
“And then what? Give myself time to realize again that I can’t do this without her? I already know that I can’t, I can’t replace her, not in any way but I…” Jungkook heaves. “I can’t give in to those feelings and end up asking her to reconsider her decision. She has a life to live outside of this but this is mine. I have a project to launch, a name to uphold…”
A broken heart to live with, he doesn’t say.
“I don’t know what else to do but this,” he adds, his head bowing down as he pinches the corners of his eyes. He’s just trying to deal with losing you in more than one way, and trying to maintain whatever professionalism he has left after everything.
Hoseok sighs as he watches his cousin stop himself from falling apart. It’s true that everything feels so sudden. Perhaps for you, the best decision you could make after what happened last Friday is to leave and he wouldn’t fault you for that, especially after what you gave up to be here. And maybe Jungkook is just trying to deal with that pain of losing you as his assistant and the possibility of more in the way that he knows how - distance, detachment. It’s how the younger man has always chosen to deal with things he can’t control, and as someone who’s seen him try to move on from his own past, it’s hard for Hoseok to stand by and watch Jungkook hurt this way when he knows that you care about him, too.
It wasn’t always obvious, but at one point, Hoseok started to notice things; he just never questioned them. You were always competent. When you were his assistant, you paid attention to every detail and made sure that he was always at his best. But this past year, Hoseok had seen you pay attention to Jungkook in a more meaningful way. He’d seen you care for the younger man, showed him kindness that no one’s bothered to do before. And that’s done so much for him as he learned to open himself up, to allow himself to feel a different kind of vulnerability, to feel like he could be himself again, and that he’ll be accepted for all the scared and flawed parts of him.
All Hoseok can do is at least help his cousin be honest about what he feels and help him not lose you completely. But much as he wants to figure this out with Jungkook, life continues, and right now, there are some executive decisions both men have to make. So he redirects the conversation, and it’s half an hour later when they come up with a policy statement that they send to CEO Jeon as instructed.
That’s at least one other important thing that Jungkook can tick off his list. He’s determined to just focus on all work matters for today, hoping that would keep his mind off of you.
But that’s impossible when you still have a role to play in his life, as you enter his room after Hoseok exits, avoiding the older man’s worried gaze. You glance at Jungkook just once, placing a folder of documents on his desk for his signature.
He’s past the second of a dozen pages when he speaks, his eyes glued to the papers, not wanting to look at your face.
“I intend on telling the team about your resignation during tomorrow’s meeting,” he says. “I’ll release the company-wide announcement on Wednesday, followed by an email to other partners and contacts. The Arts Center launch is happening in a few weeks and we can’t have delays, so I’ll be endorsing Lucas soon after.”
“I understand, Mr. Jeon,” you say, trying to stabilize your voice. “If you need me to draft anything—”
“There’s no need, I will do that.”
“That’s noted, sir.”
You remain standing in front of him, watching him go through each page and feeling like you could burst any moment. Somehow he seems like that man you met almost a year ago - focused yet detached, close but so far away.
“You’re also no longer required to come to my apartment every morning,” he continues. “I’ll only need you to come on Thursday so you could give Lucas your access and brief him about the building and where things are. Mr. Ri could still drive you to work until your last day.”
“That service was extended to me for the purpose of assisting you every morning, Mr. Jeon,” you say, your voice sounding firm this time. “That is no longer necessary.”
You see him stop his movements for a second before he resumes and nods in acknowledgment of your statement.
As you watch him sign the last few pages, you allow yourself a brief moment to wish that you’d just left much sooner, during a time when he wasn’t around so you didn’t have to feel this agonizing pain of him slowly slipping away. Everytime you remind yourself that you made this decision, you’re pulled back by the thought that leaving didn’t have to mean that you’d lose him completely.
But with the way he acts now, with how he’s distancing himself from you and everything you shared, you’re starting to think that maybe he’s decided on this, too - that this is goodbye and that there’s nothing for both of you after this. It’s a hard pill to swallow but one you suppose you should - this was your call and you didn’t give him a choice in the matter. Perhaps this is his way of dealing with your departure as well. That’s something you can’t fault him for doing.
That leaves you with no choice but to deal with the pain, too. You don’t know exactly how. You’ve never really gone through this before. All your breakups didn’t hurt like this, probably because you knew from the beginning that they would end anyway, that you wouldn’t care more than you planned.
But Jungkook is different. You didn’t expect him to be the one you’d care for, that you’d yearn for, that you’d want with all of you. But you watch on as he slips right through your fingers, and whatever hope you had of finding your way back to him in the future withers away. This is how you lose him, and you’ll try hard to keep only the good memories with you.
He finishes signing the papers then he hands them over to you, his eyes only briefly meeting yours. He turns towards his desktop but he speaks again.
“HR requires me to have an exit interview with you,” he says. “But due to our personal circumstances, I don’t think that’s appropriate. I’ve asked Hoseok to conduct it instead. You may just schedule it with him within the next week. You’ll also be provided with a list of all the things you need to submit for your clearance. Just let me know what you need from me and I’ll work on it right away.”
It takes a while for you to respond, as you notice him slowly look your way.
“Understood, sir,” you manage to say, so softly like a breath, even you could barely hear yourself.
But the words come out, almost emotionless now as you just take in all his instructions. You gave him your letter only a few hours ago and now he’s got everything organized for your departure, almost as if he wants the complication, that is you, dealt with immediately.
You’ve disrupted his routine and messed up a lot of his plans. He’s always said he hates change, and you’ve caused one of the biggest ones he’s ever had to deal with. You don’t blame him for not wanting to do anything with you anymore.
You nod and head out, knowing that you’re slowly losing your place in his life, even as his assistant. He doesn’t call for you the rest of the day, even for coffee. You’re tempted to knock on his door and ask if there’s anything else he needs for you to do before you clock out, but you decide against it, slowly feeling like you’re no longer welcome.
You mindlessly walk out the building and down the street, feeling the weight of everything drag you down. You’d thought that finally doing this would make you feel liberated, like you’d be relieved of your burdens and even of a secret that you no longer have to keep. But as the minutes pass by, everything is just getting heavier and heavier. Your heart doesn’t loosen up, either.
And as you stare at the barely eaten sujebi from your favorite noodle house and the piece of choco pie that you bought from the convenience store that you now have no appetite to eat, you feel yourself falling apart. You don’t know what you were expecting but it wasn’t this. You hated doubting Jungkook’s sincerity about what he felt but now you’re faced with his seeming apathy. It makes you wonder once more if he really felt anything for you, or if he just mistook his practical need for you as something more.
Maybe you’ll never know. At this point, he’s just your boss who’s running a company and preparing to launch the biggest project of his life. All you can do is respect that and support him the best way you know how. If it’s distance he wants, then it’s what you’ll give. You suppose it’s the most you could do for him after making the decision to walk away.
Sitting in the meeting room the next day with the management support team chatting around you is a little unnerving. You try to engage with them and put on a smile that doesn’t feel real. The nervousness and guilt slowly creep in, especially when Jungkook arrives and orders for the meeting to begin.
“Before we start, I’d just like to make an important announcement,” he says, quieting everyone down as he sounds serious. “Ms. Cho has tendered her resignation and will be leaving the company in a month. I wanted to tell the team immediately so we could all work on the necessary adjustments. Lucas, my assistant during my time in Singapore, will be replacing her. I made this decision with the approval of the CEO to ensure a smooth transition. His first day will be on Thursday.”
In the silence, you look up, afraid of how the team is taking it. Manager Lee and Chin-sun have a mix of sadness and acceptance on their faces. Yohan has his head bowed down. And Do-hyun sits there, silently crying.
“Do you… do you not like us anymore?” She mumbles through her sniffles.
“Of course I do,” you say, your eyes softening. “It’s not about that.”
“Then what is it?” She asks. “Why… why are you leaving us? Why are you leaving Mr. Jeon?”
“I…” you start, looking at him for approval, and he nods as if to say that you’re free to say whatever you want to say. “I’ve been here for a while. This job is all I know and the years just flew right by. I feel like a new environment and a change of pace would do me good.”
Chin-sun turns to you, her look of understanding giving you the comfort that you need. She told you once that you deserve to live a life outside of work, that you need to find yourself and what makes you happy, and that she knows what that could mean. You’ve always looked up to her and how she’s handled everything in her life with such grace, and seeing her give you that nod of encouragement tells you that she gets it, and that despite the doubt that’s slowly crept in, she’s that hand on your shoulder, saying that you’re doing the right thing.
“Do you have to go this soon?” Do-hyun asks, her voice so unusually soft that it makes you feel like crying, too.
“I had initially planned on resigning after the Arts Center launch,” you say, the words hitting Jungkook as you see the way he clenches his jaw. “But the company I’ll be moving to requested for my start to be in two months. It’s too good of an opportunity to pass up on, so I decided to leave early.”
It’s not a complete lie. You had emailed Namjoon last night and inquired if the production officer position is still open. He responded right away to say that it is, and that he’s been hoping for you to officially apply, so you did. He insisted that based on your resume and your mindset and approach to work that he’s picked up from your conversations, the role is meant to be yours. He scheduled an interview in the next two weeks during your forced leave - for formalities’ sake, he told you - and you can start next quarter.
“I’m just… I’m just really sorry that I’m leaving in the midst of all the preparations,” you add, your nails sinking in your skin once more as you try to deal with guilt. “Things just happened so fast and I had to make decisions right away.”
“We’re gonna be okay,” Chin-sun assures you now. “You and Mr. Jeon trained us well. You, especially. We’ve been working together for over four years and I may have been in this longer but I’ve learned so much from you, ___. This breaks my heart more than you know but I’m proud of you, and I’m happy for you. I can at least say on behalf of the team that we don’t want this decision to burden you. You’ve held the fort for everyone for so long, you deserve to pursue whatever makes you happy.”
“Thank you,” you whisper, feeling the words getting caught in your throat as you try to keep yourself from breaking down.
Chin-sun isn’t always this sentimental, so you know it means just as much to her that she’s able to say these things to you.
“I agree with her,” Manager Lee says. “It’s gonna be different and definitely hard but the team will manage. You’ve given this company so much, and I know that wherever you’ll go, they’ll be so lucky to have you. Just… just don’t forget about us, okay?”
“Never,” you assure the team this time.
“Remember when I was being stubborn and didn’t want to go to the hospital when I was sick?” Yohan speaks up, looking at you now with glassy eyes. “You took half the day off so you could drag me there and then visited me everyday after work when I was confined for a week. The doctor said things would’ve been worse if I’d gone there even just a day late.”
You remember that incident clearly. It was the month before Jungkook arrived. The entire team was busy preparing everything but you noticed that Yohan looked unwell, and you insisted on taking him to the hospital so he could get checked and you’re glad you did. You can’t imagine how things would’ve turned out if you hadn’t.
“I was trying hard to keep it in because I didn’t want to be a burden,” he continues. “But you noticed, you always do. And I’ll always be thankful. Chin-sun may be my wise auntie but you’re my ever dependable older sister and I’ll miss you so much. No one can calm me down the way you do, and no one will tell me and Do-hyun off when we’re being whiney or ungrateful. I just hope that whatever you do brings you all the peace and happiness you deserve.”
At his words, Do-hyun sobs. Covering her face, she mumbles onto her palms, muffling her words that you can’t understand. She briefly looks up at you, pouting as she catches her breath, and then she cries again. Even when she’s being emotional, her child-like way of showing it is every bit endearing.
You remember the first time you met her, a brilliant fresh graduate with so much passion and energy. She was a little too bubbly for you at the beginning. She was always curious and lacked filter most of the time. But you got to know her genuine heart, one that often sought you, that wanted to get your approval, that hoped you’d return the affection she always gave you. She was like that bratty little sister that you enjoyed looking after, and seeing her be affected this way is affecting you more than you expected. You can’t make out what she’s saying, but you’re pretty sure that they’d make you cry either way.
And that’s what you’re trying hard not to do, as you bite your lips to stop them from shaking, hoping you won’t break down in front of them, especially in front of Jungkook.
Chin-sun comforts Do-hyun who’s calming down a bit now. Manager Lee and Yohan wipe their eyes. It’s a little too quiet, and you know they’re waiting for you to say something, too. Wanting to return their honesty, you start, trying to find the words that would capture everything you feel.
“You all know how much of myself I give to this job,” you start, your lips trembling as you try to get it together. “And from the beginning, I thought I would just come to work, do what I have to do, go home, and do it all over again. It’s the corporate world and we’re just trying to survive. You were all supposed to be just colleagues, people I had to just tolerate but that’s clearly not what happened. Without meaning to, you’ve all become such a big part of my life, more than I can ever express.”
You glance at Jungkook, hoping that he knows it includes him, but you see him clench his jaw and look away, and at this point, you don’t expect him to believe anything else you say, no matter how much you mean them.
“I know I’ve never been good at accepting and especially returning your affection,” you continue. “I’ve missed out on a lot of post-work dinners and weekend get-togethers. I’ve just, uh, I’ve just never been good at mixing work with my personal life. But even then, you never took it against me. You keep up with all versions of me, you encourage me when things get hard, and you never fail to let me know that I’m doing a good job. And that’s done so much for me more than you know.”
You take in deep breaths as you feel your tears dance around your eyes, and you blink to let them fall then quickly wipe them away.
“We’ve gone through so much together and I’ll always treasure all those moments and everything we shared,” you manage to say. “Leaving doesn’t change anything. At least, I hope it doesn’t.”
“Not to us,” Chin-sun assures you. “You’ll always be a part of this team.”
You mirror her smile, hoping your gratitude gets across.
The clearing of throat catches everyone’s attention, and you turn to Jungkook, remembering that you’re all gathered today for a meeting, and not some sentimental goodbye that’s turned into a cry-fest. You doubt he’d want to be around for this, so you apologize and say that he can continue on with the agenda.
“It slipped my mind that I have a call with one of the artists that Mr. Saito introduced me to,” Jungkook answers, looking at his phone then turning back to the team. “It’s in 10 minutes. We can resume tomorrow morning. It’s close to lunch anyway so you can all have your break.”
The whole team nods in acknowledgement. Except for you. He doesn’t have any scheduled calls today, as he was adamant on having this meeting done as soon as possible. He would have remembered if that call was that important and if it wasn’t, you know he wouldn’t have rescheduled this because making all the arrangements for your departure seems to be his top priority.
You suspend the thought, knowing that dwelling on how much he’s distancing himself from you will take away from the moment you shared with your team. Right now, they’re who matter. Jungkook had always insisted he wasn’t part of it, and you always disagreed. But with him stepping away, maybe he’s right.
He steps out, and with him no longer in the room, Do-hyun takes the opportunity to hug you. It’s not something you always return but today, it’s everything you need, as her warmth gives you the comfort you’ve been badly craving since last Friday. All you had was your pillow and that didn’t really do much. With Do-hyun wrapping you in her arms, you’re able to breathe, and she holds you tightly as you silently cry, as if she knows just how much it means to you to have a shoulder to cry on this time.
“Yah! Don’t cry,” she says in that mocking tone to tease you when you pull away.
Everyone laughs and you shake your head in embarrassment. “I didn’t expect to cry this much.”
“Chin-sun started it,” Yohan says, earning him a nudge and a playful glare.
“I just knew it mattered that you knew that it was okay,” she says, prompting you to look at her. “We may be crying and going on about missing you and things not being the same but… what you leave behind doesn’t make your decision any less valid, or even wrong. Only you would know what doing this could do for you, and there’s absolutely nothing to be sorry for.”
You mumble your thanks again, feeling a bit of weight off your shoulders with the assurance that the team will be alright without you.
Outside, Jungkook looks on as everyone gathers around you, hugging you and wiping your tears, something he held himself back from doing.
There’s no call to be had. He’d intended for today’s meeting to be about discussing the plans moving forward, the added responsibilities that each member would have as Lucas adjusts, and how they could help in his transition. Jungkook didn’t expect for it to turn out the way it did, with each person expressing their gratitude to you, comforting you, and sharing stories that show just how much you matter to them.
This is who you are - someone loved by the people around her, despite the distance she keeps. There’s just always been this warmth about you that’s reflected in your ability to notice things, in your stubbornness, and in the way that you make every person feel cared for. It’s something he always admired about you. It’s also what he likes the most about you, and for all that you are, all that warmth and comfort that you deserve aren’t things he can give. Not when he’s trying to keep his own distance, not when he’s trying to keep himself together, and not when he’s trying not to hold you back any more than he already did.
In a way, he’s glad that the team was able to express themselves to you. He likes to think that their words at least relieved you of whatever guilt you were feeling about leaving, something he’s also unable to do. They were able to assure you that they understand and only wish for your happiness. On his end, he’s ensuring that you don’t have to worry about all the work you’ll leave behind. It’s his way of telling you that it’s okay.
Jungkook steps away when he hears you start to pack up. He walks back to his room and hears the team’s plans of grabbing lunch at the dining hall then eating it at the floor’s outdoor space. Do-hyun tells you to ask him to join everyone, and Jungkook hates that he’d have to turn the invitation down. He does so by pretending to still be on a call when you peek into his room, and at this point, he’s unable to read your face.
He can’t think that you were hoping he’d join you, as he can’t feed the illusion that you still want him after everything. He’ll just believe that it was relief he saw in your eyes and that just like him, you’re creating distance because that makes it easier for both of you.
But the truth is, it doesn’t, as an hour goes by and he spends it zoning out in the midst of sending emails and coordinating with Lucas about his move. Jungkook catches sight of you from his window, seated with your chair turned around, facing the shelves. He’d seen you do that a few times - in the midst of a busy day, or that very first time after he’d gotten mad at you. He wonders what it’s about now.
Maybe it’s your decision still weighing heavy on you, or that you still have so much to do for turnover. Whatever it is, Jungkook fights the urge to go out there and ask you, to tell you that you could take a break if it’ll help. Or to hug you if that’s what you need.
At this moment, he lets himself wish that the world would just suspend for a while and he could do all that without any consequences. He wishes you’re both in some alternative universe where you’re still you and he’s still him but without the baggage, without the secrets, without the intertwined past. He wishes he could just be with you without any of the burden nor the doubts, and you could just go on and be honest with what you both want, and feel what you feel with no reservations, and that all that would be enough.
There’s so much he wants to do for you but he can’t let himself be weak this time. You made your decision and he won’t hold you back. What he’ll do is try to make things easy for you, although the sullenness in your eyes - that he briefly sees when you turn around to face your desk - tells him that it doesn’t seem like it’s working.
But detachment is all he knows when it comes to things he can’t control. He can’t control you with the decision you made. He can't control how he’s taking it. And even after all that, he still can’t control the way he feels or the way his heart breaks seeing you like this.
“Hey, is everything okay?”
You look up from your desktop to a pair of questioning eyes, and you fumble for your tea and ask why he’s asking.
“Just curious,” Yoongi shrugs. “Jungkook’s been cross-copying Lucas in some of our emails and I don’t recall that ever happening before.”
You glance at your screen, seeing the messages that have the said man now looped in, all just today.
“Uh, yeah. Jungkook’s including him in the communications already,” you answer. “I… I tendered my resignation yesterday, Yoongi. I leave in a month.”
You knew that Yoongi would always be supportive. So many times before, he’d asked you how you imagined your life to be and what you were going to do once you thought your time in the company was over. He’d talked about his own plans, too, like opening up his own architectural firm in Daegu because that was always going to be his home. You knew that when the time came, he’d be proud of you because it would be your decision, and the look on his face right now tells you that he is.
“You finally did it,” he smiles. “How does it feel?”
“A lot of things,” you sigh, not wanting to give too much away. Not here at least. “There’s just a lot to think about. Maybe when I take one of my remaining leaves, it’ll finally sink in.”
“And how’s Jungkook taking it?”
You’re about to answer, trying to formulate in your head how you can explain how Jungkook has been. But it’s that moment when said man opens his door with papers in hand, his eyes flitting from Yoongi to you. You ask him if there’s anything he needs but he shakes his head and says he can handle it before closing the door. You stare at it for a while, hoping he’d come back out and say that he does need you to do something, but he doesn’t.
“I guess not well,” Yoongi points out, prompting you to return your gaze to him.
“He is, actually,” you counter. “He accepted my resignation with no questions asked, gave me a recommendation letter, organized everything for my replacement, told me to take my remaining leaves… he hasn’t given me more workload than I expected. He just wants me to focus on turning things over.”
“And that’s ‘taking it well’ for you?” Yoongi cocks an eyebrow.
“Well, he hates change. The last time that happened and he got shipped to Seoul but couldn’t bring his old assistant with him, he acted out. We both know how that went,” you say. “And now I’m causing another big change. We had a routine going. The Arts Center opens in less than two months. And then I decided to leave. He could be letting out his anger and frustration on me but he isn’t.”
“Hmm,” Yoongi hums.
After knowing you for 10 years, he’s come to realize that you have your ways of coping with things. So does Jungkook.
“I think I know what he’s doing,” he continues, earning him a questioning look from you. “He’s distancing himself. How else does he deal with anything that hurts or terrifies him? He’s losing you, ___. Even just from a professional standpoint, that’s a lot for him. On a personal level, even more.”
You look away, not wanting to think about the implications of Yoongi’s last statement. He picks it up, knowing that it’s probably hard for you to talk about right now.
“You may not agree, but you’re important to him,” he adds. “If you think this is easy for him, I’m telling you now that it isn’t. You know him. He’s… he’s not good at expressing how he feels. He just shuts everyone out. It’s his default. Even if the person he’s pushing away is probably the one he needs the most.”
“It’s more complicated than that,” you sigh.
You relate with Yoongi’s statement though. You pushed Jungkook away when all you wanted was to have him close. You decided to leave the company even though you hoped you could be with him. You may mean a lot to each other but it also doesn’t mean it’s enough.
“Is it really?” He questions.
When you really think about it, it shouldn’t. Jungkook likes you. You like him. For two people who are used to being on their own, finding comfort and strength in each other and then wanting that to last is simple. But how you both got here isn’t. You kept a secret from him that may have tainted his trust in you. He pursued you in a way that made you doubt his sincerity. You’re unsure how both of you could navigate all that, especially given the way you are.
Your silence prompts Yoongi to say that you don’t have to tell him anything, but that he’s there should you need anyone to talk to. He leaves, and suddenly, the silence is too loud.
The rest of the afternoon feels too long, with time ticking by so slowly. You always liked how your desk was separated from everyone else, as it gives you the peace and quiet you need to focus on your tasks. You’re also accessible to the VP, which makes everything easier and more efficient. But now, you hate it. There’s no sound but your thoughts ringing at you that you hear. And there’s no Jungkook calling for you to give you things to do.
Not speaking to him nor seeing him makes your day incomplete. You used to enjoy your shared moments, like when you’d enter his room with his cup of coffee and you’d remind him to take a break. All those times when you’d make him sign documents, with him groaning at something he’s frustrated about and then telling you what you can do after you ask if you can help him with something. Those instances where he’d look through portfolios on your shelf and do small talk with you, and those times you thought he just needed a break or a friendly smile or a hum of encouragement.
It’s only been the second day but there’s none of those now, and you don’t have anyone to blame but yourself. You let yourself be selfish for once by resigning. But you feel even more selfish by wishing he didn’t act so unaffected, that he’d still ask for you after what you’re putting him through.
You clock out at 6, initially considering letting Jungkook know but then deciding against it, knowing that his nonchalance will just cause a crack in your heart. The rest of your evening feels lonely even with your variety TV show on, so does your commute to work the next morning that you now have to get used to. It didn’t feel right to still have Mr. Ri drive for you, even though he messaged and insisted that he still could.
It’s Wednesday, and there’s something about the middle of the week that makes you feel uneasy - the week is halfway done; it feels like it flew by but it also can’t end fast enough. There are documents on your desk for review and some emails that you need to get to, but Mrs. Myung calling to say that CEO Jeon wants to see you is what does your head in. You suppose he’d want to speak with you at one point; you just weren’t prepared for it to be today.
The CEO’s office is like a personal museum, with photos and blueprints framed on the walls and miniature replicas of some of the company’s earliest infrastructure being displayed in the large room. The view of the city is stunning from all angles, and you can only imagine how much creativity it inspires. You’re still unsure how he thinks about you, but you bow shyly once he greets you and you take your seat when he asks you to.
“Jungkook said he’ll be announcing your resignation today,” the man says. “It seems that he has everything organized already and ready for your departure.”
“He has, Mr. Jeon,” you confirm. “I feel quite bad that I’m not helping him with the arrangements. He, uh, he seems to have wanted to handle all of it all on his own.”
“Well, he’s pressed for time. He had to make quick decisions with the Arts Center opening in a few weeks.”
“I… I apologize for leaving at such a critical time,” you say, bowing your head in shame once more. “I—”
“You have nothing to apologize for,” he shakes his head. “You made a decision that was best for you. I guess I was just in denial that you’d do it so soon, or at least before the Center is revealed. You’ve worked hard on that, too. I’m sure it’s difficult for you to let that go as well.”
You look up and see the gentleness in his eyes, the same ones that looked at you the first time you met him - in this room, over 20 years ago. He was a stranger to you, but he was kind. There wasn’t much you remember from that day nor that period, but you’ll always remember the soft way he greeted you and introduced himself.
You look back at the years after that. He didn’t reach out much but you still felt him looking out for you and your mom. When you entered the company as an intern, he had that look of recognition, and then of pride.
Working here all these years, you’ve seen him be the critical, perfectionist, and passionate man that he is. People stopped what they were doing when he entered the room, they listened when he spoke, he commanded fear and respect, but you’ve seen his moments of tenderness and empathy, too. This is a man who commits himself to everything he does, something his son took after him. It’s probably why with his years of experience, he knows that for you, walking away from the project you poured your soul into is just as hard.
“It’s a sad parting, I would say. But I know it will turn out just as beautiful as your son had hoped. He really put his everything into that and I’m glad I got to see it almost completed,” you say, having visited the site not long ago. “Though I’ll no longer be here when the rest of the world sees it, I know it’ll give him that satisfaction and pride that he managed to bring to life all that he envisioned.”
“I don’t know about satisfaction and pride if you’re not around,” Mr. Jeon hums. “You’re leaving a big hole in his life, ___. And I don’t mean that just professionally.”
You turn away, unsure if you’re ready to address your feelings for Jungkook in front of his father.
“Looking back now, I was being selfish to you all these years,” he continues. “You had a hard time when you first started and that all happened under my watch. I encouraged you to apply for that EA position because I knew that Hoseok would choose you by your own merit, and he would treat you well. He would train and mentor you and I selfishly hoped that my family would be redeemed in your eyes. And Jungkook… he… he reminded me of myself when I was younger. And you had the spirit of your mother,” he adds, his eyes softening at the mention of her. “You had her heart and I hoped… I hoped that whatever gentleness you’d show my son would allow him to heal a little. It was unfair of me to give you that responsibility, especially given how he treated you at the beginning. I’m so sorry, ___. I feel like I was holding you back and I never intended that.”
“Please don’t apologize, Mr. Jeon,” you insist, your eyes blurring a little with his honesty. “I still made the decision to stay every time. Even when it was hard. I… I wanted to show my gratitude to your family for what you’ve done for us. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pay you back.”
“None of that,” he shakes his head. “It wasn’t just about absolving myself of the guilt for what your mom had to go through because of me, which was bad enough in the first place. But I… I knew it was the only way I could thank her, that I could apologize. If there was a way I could help both of you rebuild your lives, I would.”
“And you did,” you assure him. “We were safe. We made good memories in Busan. We now have a good home back in Daegu. I got to study and build myself and experience all these things. And I… I got to meet your son. And I got to see his heart. And I’ll always keep that with me, regardless of how things turned out.”
“Does this mean that you and him aren’t… uh—”
“It was unprofessional to cross the line, Mr. Jeon,” you bow your head. “I’m so sorry that happened.”
“I’m not angry. I guess I should’ve expected it. I’d accept my wife calling me a matchmaker if only it was true,” he laughs dryly. “Jungkook cares about you. And I know that you care about him. You’ve resigned now. You’re… you’re free.”
“I didn’t decide to leave so I could be with him, sir. I mean, that wasn’t the primary intention,” you try to explain. “I… I always knew I would, but doing this soon is because I’m unsure how to continue with my role given what happened. I hope I’ve clarified that.”
“Is this it, then? Is this goodbye for you and him?”
“I… I still hope I’ll see him one day, perhaps when we’ve forgiven each other, when we’ve come to understand the decisions that we made, and once we’ve come to terms with them,” you say. “I’m unsure when that would be. But I hope I’ll have the chance to congratulate him and to tell him I’m happy for him.”
“Goodbyes aren’t always for good,” Mr. Jeon says. “I’d like to believe that we cross paths with people for a reason, that we lose them for a reason, and that we find them again for a reason.”
“That’s not such a bad thought,” you smile. “I suppose that every person I lost for good was for a reason. If I find my way back to Jungkook… it should be for a good reason, too.”
“Of course. And I also mean that for us,” he smiles back. “Please don’t become a stranger. You mean a lot to our family, ___. How your mother helped me and how you helped our son will not be forgotten. Thank you.”
“Likewise, sir. You and Mrs. Jeon have helped us so much. Even Mr. Ri. I… I owe a lot to him as well.”
“You should already know he has a soft spot for you. That man treats you like family.”
You smile to yourself, thinking of how Mr. Ri has looked out for you all these years. He sacrificed a lot, too, and that feeling of safety that he gave you and your mother changed everything for you, even if it took everything from him. But he never wavered, as he made sure to visit you regularly when you were growing up. You suppose he had to hold back once you started working for the company and especially for Jungkook, given the secret you both kept, but Mr. Ri has been showing that same care to you now that the truth is out.
“Did… did you know about him and my mom?” You wonder.
“I did,” Mr. Jeon nods. “It was hard not to. Byung-hun was always serious and expressionless but his eyes always softened whenever she was around. She’s why he even smiled. But… decisions had to be made. I’ll always be sorry for what could’ve been.”
“It’s a love that lives on, though,” you say. “He’s been such a big help to me these past few days.”
“That’s good. You can always count on him. He’ll do anything for you, you should know that. It’s how he keeps their memories alive.”
It’s a nice thought, as you let the older man’s words settle. Love may not always be returned but the beauty is in how it’s expressed, in that it’s received regardless, and that it’s remembered.
You didn’t expect for the talk with CEO Jeon to be as emotional and uplifting as it was. You suppose that all these years, you both were just trying to make it up to each other, to compensate for something that was given and for something that was taken away. Maybe he needed this closure, too, for him to know that you’ve always forgiven him, and that after everything, you’re grateful for what his family has done for you.
Letting out a sigh of relief that at least he’s not angry at you, you return to your tasks. You organize some documents then enter Jungkook’s room to request his signature, immediately spotting some of those he’d already signed from yesterday.
You avoid his eyes again, and you only hope he doesn’t see the sadness in yours when you hear the conversation he’s currently having.
“Is the apartment okay?” He says on the phone.
It’s Lucas, you assume. He’s scheduled to arrive today and is probably settling down first.
“Yeah, just take your time. But don’t forget to be at my penthouse tomorrow,” Jungkook continues. “Ms. Cho will be there to brief you. I’ll see you at 7:00.”
He puts the phone down and retrieves the folder with all the files you set on his desk while you review the ones he just signed. Moments like this used to be spent on friendly banter or some questions on his end, but there’s none of that now. There’s just the sound of the pen gliding on the sheet and the flipping of pages filling the tense-filled air in the room. He hands you back the folder and you’re forced to look at him to say your thanks.
“Please be at my apartment tomorrow at 7. Mr. Ri can take you there, I’m sure he’ll insist,” Jungkook says.
“Yes. Mr. Jeon,” you reply, your eyes focused on his desk.
“And prepare the conference room for the postponed team meeting. We start in 15 minutes.”
You confirm his instructions and quickly head out. You gather everyone - and receive another hug from Do-hyun that you hadn’t realized you’ve been needing so much - then proceed to the room as instructed.
Emotions are managed this time, with no more tearful goodbyes and sentimental speeches unlike the day before. Jungkook gets straight to the point by laying out the plans for Lucas’ onboarding and the division of tasks for the Arts Center opening. You’re primarily assigned to handle the former, as you’ll be turning over all of your responsibilities to him, including all documents, schedules, and contacts. Your facilitative role for the major project is divided between the rest of the team, and as you add the growing list of deliverables and other things you’re in charge of, you’re reminded just how hard you’ve been working for this, too.
CEO Jeon was right. You’re not just walking away from your job; you’re walking away from something that you’ve started to believe in and be passionate about yourself. In a way, Jungkook gave that to you, and you’ll always be grateful that he let you be a part of it.
The melancholic feeling stays with you for the rest of the day. You find yourself lingering on people and things and moments, as if capturing them so you can keep them in your memory.
You do that, too, during lunchtime with the team as you laugh at the stories and incidents you recall that only all of you know. You do it while replying to the dozens of messages you receive after the announcement, with some of the other assistants calling you and expressing their sadness. You do it as well when you email Jungkook another memo he has asked you to draft. And then again when you peek through the window while he’s busy working on perhaps some other design, the image of him focused being etched in your mind until you sleep that night.
You have to let go, you tell yourself; that was the point of resigning. You’re free, like what CEO Jeon said. While you never likened being in this company to a prison, there’s something liberating about stepping back from what you’ve known for years and realizing that you enjoyed it, too, that it gave you a certain kind of happiness and satisfaction, and a special feeling that only you could have.
Jungkook was someone who gave you all that as well, even if it was all fleeting. But then again, you don’t think anything really is. The things and people and emotions and moments you encounter all stay with you in one way or another. For that instance, you had them and they had you. Perhaps that’s the beauty of it - they may not stay but they will always linger.
You enter the car the next morning with the scent of freshly baked pastry. Your eyes light up when you see the iced coffee, prompting Mr. Ri to let out a soft laugh and say that he picked them up on the way for you.
“Jungkook’s got a packed day so I doubt he’d have time for breakfast and I assumed that meant you, too,” he adds.
“Not really,” you sigh. “He’s keeping me to just turnover duties for my last weeks here. I doubt I’d be that busy. But breakfast is good. I woke up late so I managed to only grab some fruits.”
“I think he just doesn’t want you to be stressed. Saying goodbye is hard enough.”
“I suppose… I guess I just hoped things would slow down a bit. But then again, I’m the one who abruptly resigned,” you say. “No one was afforded time to process things, including me.”
“It will sink in soon enough,” he hums. “Especially once you see how things change.”
“They have,” you whisper, the sullenness in your eyes letting the other man know just how much. “And I have no right to wish they didn’t, at least not this fast.”
“Oh, ___,” Mr. Ri turns to you with a sad smile. You can’t imagine him being the cold and stoic man that CEO Jeon had described, one who only softened when your mother was around. “You do. Standing by our decisions means that we accept whatever the consequences are, not that we can’t wish they were different. I’m pretty sure Jungkook feels that way, too. He’s dealing with you leaving, but it doesn’t mean he wishes you had to. And maybe… deep in your heart, you wished that not staying in the company didn’t have to mean not being with him.”
It’s a thought you’ve had for a long time, but one you don’t want to acknowledge. There’s a lot of things you’re still scared to face, including just how much you want him. You’re afraid to break, to want to take it all back, and to realize just how much you’re losing by letting all this go.
And like the family he’s come to be, Mr. Ri reminds you that this pain you’re feeling is part of the process of finding the happiness you’ve been yearning for.
“Sometimes we have to lose things for something so much better,” he comforts. “‘Better’ could be a person or a state of mind. In your case, I think it’s discovering that kind of strength you didn’t know you had; it’s that freedom that you wouldn’t have otherwise felt even if you got together with Jungkook. For as long as you’re in the company, you’ll always feel burdened and that something’s missing at the same time. You always needed this. And I should’ve encouraged you to be braver a long time ago.”
“Then I wouldn’t have met him,” you say immediately, the thought breaking you, even if you tried to convince yourself it was better that you didn’t. “He and I have pasts that intertwine and if we never met then there… there would be nothing of him I’d carry, there’d be no trace of him in me.”
But you did meet. And now there’s Jungkook in you - in your bravery, in your strength, in your silence. He’s in your appreciation for art and design and love for disposable cameras and capturing good memories. You carry him with you, and the thought makes things hurt a little less. Maybe all that is why you got the courage to walk away in the first place. Maybe those could push you to find him again, too.
You’re deep in your head that you don’t realize you’re already at Jungkook’s building until Mr. Ri is calling your name. You exit, and right at the entrance, you see a well-dressed man with a bright yellow helmet on one hand and a scooter on the other, his smile brightening his whole face as he greets you. He’s Lucas, he says, and you’d almost forgotten the purpose of why you’re back here after almost a week.
“It’s nice to finally meet you, Ms. Cho. Although I wish it were for happier reasons,” he says, his face softening.
“It’s happy enough,” you smile. “You’re living abroad like you said you wanted to, and this is career advancement for you. They’re all good things.”
“I suppose so. Although I didn’t really get to prepare myself much. I’m quite nervous, if I’m being honest.”
You pass over your access cards to him and let him go through the building’s security process. It’s another way you’re letting go of Jungkook, you think, and there’s more of that melancholic feeling, as memories of all your mornings here fly through your mind.
“You’ve been with Mr. Jeon longer than I have, Lucas. You know how he works,” you tell him. “Sure, there are added responsibilities as the Vice President’s EA but you’ll learn them through experience. You have the skills good enough to be his assistant in the first place. And he’s… he’s good at what he does. He’s good to people. Those should make things easier for you.”
“Hmm that’s true,” he replies, as you both head towards the elevator. “He seems a lot calmer than I’m used to. And more poised. And— I don’t know if I can say this but, more considerate, I suppose. He made sure everything was organized for my move. He checked on me when I arrived. He even got me a scooter because my old one was a bit rusty already.”
You smile to yourself. They’re simple things, and it makes you think that maybe Jungkook used to not show much care to his staff. Lucas doesn’t seem to hold resentment of any kind, so you suppose Jungkook just gave or did the bare minimum. If your relationship with him somehow influenced this kinder and perhaps softer version of him, then meeting you wasn’t so bad for him either.
Lucas rambles a little as he talks about being anxious working with all the bosses, and you wish there was a way that you could ease his worries. You understand it. You were in his shoes once, and you hope that your mentorship of him during this turnover period will be enough.
“All that to say that I have large shoes to fill,” he adds. “And I just don’t want to disappoint him.”
“And you won’t,” you assure the younger man as you reach Jungkook’s floor. “You’re gonna be fine and the team is gonna support you. So will he, so you just do what you can and things will fall into place.”
Lucas sighs in relief and smiles. It’s the most you can do for now and you hope at least for today, it’s enough.
You enter Jungkook’s apartment and a feeling of sadness rushes through you. Everything looks the same and it’s much too quiet than you’re used to.
You tell Lucas what you normally do and he says that Jungkook’s doing away with breakfast.
“He knows I fast so we never really had meals in the morning,” Lucas says. “But it’s nice you got to prepare them for him. He was always too busy and didn’t realize he hadn't had anything to eat until past lunch time.”
You nod, realizing that you probably created that routine you both had. Jungkook used to just always go straight to business but at least with you, he was able to slow down a little and enjoy a meal. You’d come to like those moments, you smile to yourself. He felt a little more human to you then.
You go through Jungkook’s usual schedule and give Lucas a list of numbers to call, like his house cleaner and cook. There are other routines you share, and the young man starts to take note, as some of them are new due to Jungkook’s role.
It’s not long after when the man himself shows up, walking into the kitchen donned in a dark blue suit. You reflexively take a step forward, ready to fix his crooked tie, but then you realize that this is one routine you’ve stopped doing for a while, so you put your hand down and bow to him in greeting.
Jungkook just nods at you and then asks Lucas how the move was and if everything’s okay. The young man answers accordingly, with just enough information to not prolong the conversation.
“It’s gonna be a hectic couple of weeks so it’s good you’ve settled in,” Jungkook says. “Have you gone through the building’s security process? Do you have access to my apartment now?”
“Yes, sir. Ms. Cho has briefed me about all of that,” Lucas says.
“Good,” Jungkook nods. “I’ll just grab my things and we can go. We’ll run through yesterday’s meeting and my schedule for the remainder of the week in the car.”
He walks towards his study to get his bag while you and Lucas stay behind.
“Aren’t you gonna fix his tie?” You whisper to the man next to you.
“Why, what’s wrong with it?” Lucas asks, turning to Jungkook and looks intently at his outfit.
“The knot is slightly to the right,” you point out.
Lucas takes a few seconds to answer before he nods in agreement. “I don’t really fix it but I could tell him.”
You’re all in the elevator and with Lucas looking a bit antsy, Jungkook asks him what’s wrong.
“Your… your tie is slightly to the right, sir,” Lucas says.
It prompts Jungkook to face the mirror, adjusting it himself numerous times until he figures it out. Turning around, with his eyes flitting to you, he asks, “is this alright?”
You nod, feeling the distance once again.
Jungkook used to look at you in a way that always seemed to be more during this shared moment, with words and feelings unsaid, and you realize that so did you. It’s such a simple thing - fixing his suit, but it’s seconds where it’s all quiet and it’s just your breaths sharing space, your glances meeting, maybe your hearts beating a little too fast, a little too loud.
But there’s none of that now. There’s just distance and it’ll get farther as time passes by, especially once all three of you make it to the car and you know, next to him is no longer the place you should be. You take the passenger seat, feeling unfamiliar when you hear his voice right behind you.
Jungkook goes on about Lucas’ new role to include preparing his clothes for the week, which means styling him accordingly. It’s a task the younger man says makes him nervous, but Jungkook assures him.
“Just make sure the clothes match and that I don’t look ridiculous. And that, uh, my tie isn’t crooked.”
Lucas chuckles and says he’s up for the challenge before the conversation switches to the meetings today and tomorrow. Jungkook asks you questions and you fill in some other details. You’re not as on top of his schedule as you used to be, and he instructs that for the meetings after the turnover to Lucas, you’ll no longer be required to attend. You have leaves to take, Jungkook reminds you, and given that you’re set to start work elsewhere soon, having some time off would be good.
“All noted, sir,” you say, and despite how you feel, you also agree.
You arrive at the office and Lucas is promptly introduced to the team. He’s received well, as he’s able to match the young ones’ energy and you see the respect he has for the rest, including you. You already know he’s going to do well, and you make a mental note to tell Bitna and Mrs. Myung to look after him as well, the same thing you told Mr. Ri to do.
While Lucas fixes his documents with HR, you decide to bring Jungkook a cup of coffee and some biscuits, unsure if he’s had any breakfast yet. He promptly looks up from his desk when you enter, nodding in acknowledgement when you place them on his desk.
“Lucas is a fast learner and he’s good with people,” Jungkook says, surprising you, as you hadn’t expected him to start a conversation. “He just needs to work on being a leader and holding the team together. You’re… you’re very good at that. I know it’s a short time but I hope it’s something you could teach him.”
It takes a while for you to respond. Even if his tone is not the soft one you’ve gotten used to, his words still hold warmth in them - towards Lucas. And towards you.
“I… I will, sir. And if it means anything, I think he’ll do well. He’s got good people looking out for him, including you.”
You want to return his kind words, but you also want to remind him that despite how you both started, he stood by your side and guided you. And that helped you be even more confident and capable in what you do. You hope it’s something you’re able to tell him, in a more truthful and vulnerable way he deserves, but there’s no place for that now. Yet the way he nods tells you that maybe he knows, and as you hold his gaze for a little longer than usual, you hope you’re also able to say a bit more.
That you miss your mornings together. That days don’t feel the same without his soft laughter. That you’ve almost forgotten how his smile looks like. That there’s so much of him you want to keep even though you shouldn’t. That you hope he wishes, just like you, that you’d find your way back to him someday even if right now, you have to do this.
The knock on the door signals that your shared moment has passed and you’re unsure if any of that reached him. Maybe not, as he turns away and just nods.
Lucas enters, and you remind him of that building tour you said you’d give. He’s been to the office three times but only in the conference hall, so you decide to take him around before that meeting with the design department in an hour. Do-hyun will cover for both of you while you’re away, so Jungkook tells you to advise her that he won’t be taking any calls or visitors in the meantime.
You nod, and Jungkook watches you walk out the door as he keeps himself steady like always, holding himself back from wanting you to stay a little longer, from asking how you’re doing, from taking you in his arms like he’s been wanting to do for days.
It’s hard having to act like it doesn’t affect him, like it doesn’t break his heart seeing the sadness in your eyes with how he’s taking your departure. While that overheard conversation told him that you planned on leaving, he wasn’t ready for you to do it so soon. Perhaps he should’ve expected it - you both kissed and he went ahead and said the words he’d never said before, and that’s what caused you to push him away and decide that you didn’t want anything to do with him despite how you feel.
He doesn’t know if you ever planned on telling him the truth about who you are. He doesn’t know what your plans have always been and what they are now. He doesn’t know what you’re feeling and how you’re dealing with all these goodbyes. He supposes if he’d asked first, maybe things would have turned out differently, and you wouldn’t be leaving this way. Maybe he wouldn’t be hating himself for detaching so quickly and so certainly, as if he isn’t missing everything about you, as if he isn’t wishing that he could just hold you in his arms and have you stay there.
It took everything in him not to fall apart when he saw your resignation letter. You’d been so certain and after what he learned, he didn’t want to hold you back anymore. He hoped you’d at least want to talk about what you felt, or perhaps assure him that leaving the company doesn’t mean leaving him for good. He kissed you and you kissed him back. And he can’t wrap his head around how you could do that and then so easily decide that being with him isn’t what you want.
It’s all too much, and the only thing he knows he could do for you is make the departure less difficult by making sure that you have nothing to worry about what you’re leaving behind. He made the executive decision to get Lucas, and it wasn’t hard getting his father’s approval this time around. Jungkook organized the whole move and all other turnover matters so that you wouldn’t be bothered by them. He recommended that you take your remaining leaves so you’d get some rest before you move on to your next job, wherever that is. He didn’t want you to be burdened by the extra tasks you have to do for him, including going to his apartment every morning.
But disengaging with you, distancing himself… those are for his benefit. And for you, too, as he doesn’t want to linger and then be foolish by asking you to reconsider, or telling you that he still wants you, that he meant everything he said about what he feels, and that he wishes you’d assure him of your sincerity and tell him you want him just as much. Acting unaffected is the only way that he can maintain that sense of control, the one he lost when he decided to be honest with you and give in to his desires.
He knows it’s not ideal but he doesn’t know how else to give you the freedom you deserve while wanting you next to him. A part of him holds onto the hope that you want that, too - to unburden yourself while being with him. He’d seen the sadness in your eyes these past days and he wants to think it’s because of the distance he’s creating, or because you miss him, too. He’s noticed your glances and lingering looks, he’d seen you stop yourself from fixing his tie this morning, and there’s a softness in your voice that’s different from how it usually is.
But much as he has a lot to say, he also doesn’t know how to. He’s afraid that if he tries, you’ll push him away again, maybe further this time that he won’t know how to get you back. He’s afraid that you’ll look at him differently, that you’d think he doesn’t care about what you want, or that you’ll realize that it’s just not going to work. He doesn’t like what’s happening but he doesn’t think he’s ready for what would happen if he does anything else.
So he stays where he is, close enough to see you, but not enough to feel your presence. Every second that he’s without you, he feels himself slipping away. He wants to give in but he knows he can’t, so he decides to do the only thing he knows - pull back, distance himself, disengage.
He tells himself to just focus on the tasks at hand, that there are a lot more things that require his full attention, and it helps somehow. He presides over the meetings with the design team and then with marketing with few distractions. He sees you from his periphery taking minutes just as Lucas does, but Jungkook doesn’t comment on it. He just goes from one meeting to the next, one call to another one, and one email to a dozen more.
The day is almost over before he knows it, as the knock on the door pulls him away from the budget report he’s reviewing. It’s a little disorienting seeing Lucas once it opens. That used to be you - asking if there’s anything else he needs before you head home. And Jungkook would often take a while to answer just to keep you a little longer before letting you go, even if he’s assured that he’ll see you again in the morning - in his kitchen preparing him a meal, the start of a routine that’s become the best part of his day.
But it’s not you standing by his doorway now. And it won’t be you who’ll be in his penthouse in the morning. You won’t be asking if he got to rest well. You won’t be standing close to him as you fix his outfit, your eyes focused on the creases of his top while his eyes are focused on you. You won’t surprise him with fried rice or fancy-looking eggs on toast while you sneak glances at him to see if he enjoyed it, which he always does. You won’t be there to tease or bicker with him, and he won’t see your warm smile whenever he laughs or teases back.
He doesn’t know how he survived the week without all of that. He knows he’ll have to learn how to get through everyday with that big, empty space you’re leaving. And he’s terrified that he’ll get used to it; the last thing he wants is to forget how it felt when you were still around.
“Mr. Jeon?” Lucas calls out again, pulling Jungkook out of his thoughts. “I’m heading home. What time did you want me to be at your penthouse tomorrow morning?”
It’s silly but Jungkook feels protective of his mornings with you. If he’ll no longer have it, then he’ll just live in the memory by himself. So he tells Lucas to be at his place at 7:30 AM, right before they leave.
“Understood, sir. I’ll see you then.”
Jungkook bids him goodbye and returns to his task, but he’s too distracted by the silence so he decides to go home. He enters the car, feeling the tiredness weigh his body down - not only does he stay up to work, he also wakes up early to do his workout. It’s only been a week but it’s catching up to him, and the deep sigh he releases catches Mr. Ri’s attention.
“You should get proper rest,” the older man advises. “You’re gonna get sick at the rate you’re going.”
“I’m fine,” Jungkook huffs. “I’ll rest when I’m dead.”
“I should ask ___ to tell you to slow down. She knows how to make you listen, doesn’t she?”
“That’s not necessary,” Jungkook sighs, even if he knows it’s the truth.
You had a calming way of telling him to take a pause, and he always listened because it’s you.
“Then you better listen to me,” Mr. Ri says, eyeing him from the rearview mirror. “You need to be at your best these next few weeks and you won’t be if you push yourself too hard. You have a team that has your back. It’s all going to work out.”
“That’s exactly what she would say,” Jungkook shakes his head, suddenly hearing your voice in his head.
“I know. And I bet you that she’d say it even more if she sees how you are now. You need to rest, Jungkook. I mean it.”
“Yeah, yeah,” he says in submission, deciding that he’ll just buy food on the way home and then call it a night. But the mention of your name has his mind going to you again. “Did… did she eat breakfast?” Jungkook asks.
“She did, and she liked it,” Mr. Ri responds. “You know, she still would’ve eaten it even if I said that you asked me to get those pastries for her. It wouldn’t have made a difference.”
“It would have. She’ll know it was from me.”
“And? Just because she’s leaving, it doesn’t mean you have to stop showing her that you care. And it doesn’t mean that she stopped caring, either.”
At Jungkook’s silence, the older man continues.
“Why do you do that? Why hide behind your pain? Why make excuses for what you feel about her? You think it’s easier that way?” he presses. “You think it helps you and her when you act like it doesn’t affect you?”
“She pushed me away, okay? What do you expect me to feel?”
“But she still cares about you, at least acknowledge that.”
“But I want her to want me,” Jungkook raises his voice, surprising himself with the burst of emotion he didn’t expect. “I don’t just want her to care. I… I want her to be with me. But she has a life to live beyond all this, and I don’t think she wants me to be a part of that.”
Mr. Ri turns to Jungkook with sad eyes, unable to say anything else. He doesn’t know what kind of comfort the younger man needs. It starts and ends with you, it seems, and perhaps that’s expected. After Jungkook’s breakup with Chaerin, he kept his heart guarded and didn’t bother to let anyone have a peek. All encounters were shallow, all attempts at getting him to share himself were futile. Until you. And now that he’s shared a little bit of himself, with you turning away from it, he feels exposed and bare, and he has to build his walls back up again.
Mr. Ri gets to witness it this time, and his heart breaks for the younger man, too. Having heard both sides, he knows that Jungkook respects your decision and wants to be with you. Those can coexist. He also knows that you want to be free from the ties that bind you to this family and want to be with him. Those can coexist as well. But he knows, more than anyone, that you’ll both have to make a decision, and you’ll both have to learn to do that.
“I can’t tell you what to do, Jungkook. And I can’t tell her, either,” the older man sighs. “You’ll have to figure things out on your own and decide what you want to do because that’s the only way you’ll get to stand by your choices.”
It’s a piece of advice that Jungkook should follow, even if all he wants is for someone to tell him what to do. But perhaps that’s also hard if he can’t make sense of everything that he feels. And it’s both of you suffering at the end of it.
He stays quiet for the rest of the ride, wanting to just shut out his thoughts even if there are hundreds of them swimming in his mind. When Mr. Ri asks him where he wants to grab his dinner, Jungkook can’t decide and ends up going to a convenience store instead. He sighs to himself as he realizes the memories that’ll come up by being here; he wants to escape thoughts of you, but he still ends up thinking about you whatever he does, as if his mind and body gravitate towards you without realizing it.
He buys instant noodles and some snacks. He munches on choco pie during the ride back to his penthouse and remembers the way you smiled when you ate it that night when he stayed with you. It’s an image he keeps until he falls asleep, and there’s that empty feeling again when he wakes up in the morning.
Lucas arrives that Friday as instructed and they leave for the office right away. They talk about the Arts Center and the schedule for the day, and they arrive at the building at the same time that you do.
It’s a little tense sharing the elevator with you this time, especially as he formally greets you as if he wasn’t torturing himself with the thought of you all night. But you smile and act cordial, choosing to let the silence engulf all three of you and just deal with it.
There are virtual meetings he has to attend, and Jungkook multitasks while reviewing some reports that are on his desk. There are some things he knows he needs to sign, so he calls your phone and asks them where they are.
You walk inside his room with a folder of documents and promotional materials for his approval, setting them on his desk and explaining that Lucas was going to bring them in after he was done speaking with HR.
You watch as Jungkook, with scrunched eyebrows, goes through each sheet of paper. There’s so much tension on his face and his entire body, and you wonder if he’s been resting properly. Perhaps not, as you see the dark circles under his eyes.
“You don’t have to wait for Lucas to give these to me,” Jungkook says. “You still have that responsibility. You’re still my assistant.”
There’s no anger in his voice but you can’t help but feel defensive. He’s instructed you to focus on turning over files and functions, after all.
“Am I?” You find the courage to question him. “You’ve made yourself perfectly clear on what I’m only here for.”
Jungkook is taken aback by your words, not expecting you to say them with a mix of sadness and bitterness. But he answers back, unable to control himself this time.
“And you’ve made yourself perfectly clear on what you want. And what you don’t want,” he says, more bitterly than he intended.
Your face falls, and he hates himself for making you feel like this, so he backtracks.
“I’m just… trying to make things easier for you,” he reasons, glancing at you before returning his gaze to the papers. “There are lots of things to turn over and I prefer that you just focus on them. I need Lucas to know what to do because you always did, and that’s a big loss for the team. It’s not my intention to undermine you or… make you feel like I’m replacing you. I know I won’t be able to,” he says boldly. “You’re leaving and I’m just trying to deal with it the best way I know how.”
You look at him and see the mix of frustration and sadness on his face. This is all on you, and you hate that you don’t know what to do about it. So you accept his words in submission.
“I understand, sir,” you say, almost like a whisper. “I’m… I’m sorry.”
You bow then head out, leaving Jungkook rooted in his seat like always, knowing that a second more and he would’ve called you back, even if he doesn’t know what he’d say, just so he could be around you a few seconds longer.
But he lets you go. Whatever he wants to say won’t make it out anyway.
Jungkook gets through the rest of the day constantly distracted, always half-hoping it’s you when there’s a knock on the door, or glancing at your direction from his seat, expecting you’d be meeting his eyes. But it’s never you on the other side and you don’t look his way, and before he knows it, Lucas is saying goodbye and then Hoseok is calling to tell him to go home already.
Jungkook tries, though. He finishes half a bottle of whiskey and then sleeps through mid-morning. He doesn’t really know what to do with the time he has and he hates that he has so much of it.
For the first time, he forces himself not to think about the Arts Center, so he decides to sketch some designs for the various residential projects he has in the pipeline. Some are still in their early stages but that Scandinavian-inspired building that he’s been visiting various properties for is still being conceptualized. He doesn’t want to rush, believing that the right design will come, and he hopes that by going through the photos from his trip with Hoseok and A-yeong to Europe last year, he’ll have that extra nudge or perhaps, a burst of inspiration.
The buildings are intricate and majestic, but it’s the little cafes that catch his attention, the fountains in the gardens, and the faraway shots he took of Hoseok and A-yeong as they laughed and danced about. There’s something captivating about the everyday moments, and when he clicks on the photo of the sky, he’s reminded that all those times, he was thinking of you - that clarity, the stability, the comfort. Jungkook always has a lot of things going on in his head but you’ve become that person who makes him stop and look around, who makes him see the beauty in things, who makes him want them for himself this time.
There are some images that float through his mind for the project - large windows, spacious courtyards, open living spaces, muted palettes, tree-lined streets - but with all the comfort and beauty that those bring, his thoughts still shift to you. He remembers how you looked against the mountains during the team building, how the sun made you glow even more, how you looked at peace by the stream, and all he can think about is the sadness that comes with knowing they’re all just memories - still images in his mind that haunt him of what could’ve been.
Jungkook decides to switch strategies an hour later, the emptiness of his penthouse adding to the emptiness he feels inside. Thinking that a change of scenery is what he needs, he puts on his tracks and hoodie and heads out for a run. There’s no destination in mind. He’ll just jog around town, stop if he feels like it, and then head on out again until the thought of you fades from his mind.
He knows he’s not fooling anyone; he’ll probably still be thinking about you. But at least for those hours where he’s distracted by the sounds of the cars and the people in the streets, there’s less of you in there.
It’s quite sunny out. It’s mid-afternoon and he likes the feel of the sweat in his body, the heat contrasting the occasional burst of wind. He stops by a garden, then a convenience store for a drink, then runs up a trail to get a view of the city. The sun starts to set and Jungkook takes it slow. With his hands in his pockets, he leisurely walks to a nearby neighborhood that he hasn’t been to before.
He appreciates the calmness this time and thinks that maybe spending his weekends like this every once in a while isn’t so bad. But he thinks of other ways he could spend it and with whom. Finding new restaurants to eat at and places to explore with you flash through his mind. So does watching your variety shows with you on the couch or some local film like what you enjoy doing on your own.
Jungkook doesn’t fight against it this time. He realizes that the more he resists it, the angrier he’ll be, and he doesn’t want to feel that anymore. He wasn’t mad at you, he was mad at the situation. He was mad at himself for waiting too long, for not handling things properly, for not talking to you about it… for not being honest about what he really wanted early on. He’s trying not to be selfish by letting you walk away, but maybe that’s selfish, too, if all he’s focused on is how he deals with it, without considering how it’s also affecting you.
He sighs to himself. He’s feeling so much, and this hasn’t happened in a long time. He wasn’t good at this then, and it seems that he hasn’t learned; he doesn’t know how to express what he feels even now.
The sound of children’s laughter catches his attention, and Jungkook turns to his left and finds himself outside of the neighborhood park. The playground is hidden behind large trees, and as if by some serendipitous occurrence, he walks inside and finds a bench to sit on. It’s where he stays as he watches the last remaining child leave the swing and head home.
Silence envelopes him now. He remembers his childhood - how he disliked playing in the nearby playground because he was always teased for being the shy and quiet kid, how his brother laughed along, and how his father constructed one for him so he could enjoy it for once. His brother never joined him, choosing to stay in the treehouse built for him on the other side of their property, and Jungkook liked it that way.
He would climb up the small rock wall and then slide down the slide. He’d swing himself as high as he could, giggling loudly because of the ticklish feeling in his stomach and no one would hear him. He’d look through the telescope and gaze at the stars in the evening. On some afternoons, he’d sit on the little bench and just draw cars and buildings and houses on his sketch pad, just like he’d seen his father do. Out there, he felt like he could be anyone. He could do anything and feel anything and not be afraid. No one was going to hurt him. Nothing would make him feel unwanted - not the birds, not the butterflies, not the bees that he’d watch from afar.
His old man may have always been busy but he built that playground for him without Jungkook asking him to. They were words that his father couldn’t say, apologies that he couldn’t voice out, a desire for more time that he couldn’t express or maybe even commit to, which is why they remained unspoken.
After the incident at the cabin when Jungkook felt abandoned, he stopped playing. He stopped going outside, afraid of the open air, of the possibility that the rain would come, of his father joining him in a space that used to be one where no one could disappoint him.
Time passed and the apologies were still unspoken. The emotions were kept hidden, the desire left unsaid. But they remained. Jungkook knew because his father kept that playground in its spot despite the renovations done in the estate over the years. He maintained them, too, making sure that he seals them regularly, that he repairs damages, that he paints them once the color has started to fade.
Jungkook knew this because every time he visited their home, he always spent some time there. And he saw that the playground always looked the way it did when he first saw it over 20 years ago. He was there last week, and he remembers that in the midst of his outburst, being there calmed him down.
Despite all the painful memories in between, and even if he’d outgrown it already, the safety was still there. It held memories, it felt like freedom, it held that child-like belief that he could do and be anything and he could be happy.
And as Jungkook watches the sky turn dark, the calmness overtakes him. Any playground elicits that kind of feeling, and he hears the apologies, he feels the emotions, he understands the desire.
He realizes that he’s very much like his father, just as you and Mr. Ri and Hoseok have told him. Because much as the old man is good at many things, expressing how he feels is one thing he struggles with. That’s why he builds things. He builds homes for his wife and a treehouse and playground for his sons.
And like some epiphany, Jungkook realizes that he may not be able to express what he feels, but he may be able to show you. The words may never be enough, even as they remain unsaid, but he can at least give you a space that matters to you, a place just like his playground that you could go to to feel safe, where you could be anyone, where you could do anything and feel anything and not be afraid.
It will be a place where no one can hurt you, not even him, and where you’ll always be wanted - by the characters in your picture books, and the birds and butterflies and bees that you’ll color. You may have outgrown them, but he knows that the memories of your childhood will remind you that there’s a place for you, in his heart especially.
His mind starts to race, with designs and details flashing through his mind. He rushes home and starts working, and he doesn’t leave his study until 3 in the morning. But he’s satisfied, and he spends the next day making calls and other arrangements, ensuring that the plans are set for dissemination to the team.
It’s a monumental task for the time that he has. The Arts Center opening isn’t far from now. He’ll probably earn the ire of everyone involved, including his father, but Jungkook will just have to deal with all that.
Right now, what matters is that he gets to do this to show you how he feels. He doesn’t know when you’ll see it, if you’ll decide to go when it opens in a few weeks, but he hopes that when you do, you’ll know that you made him feel something that he hasn’t in a long time, and he hopes that if he no longer gives you that feeling of comfort and safety that he’s been giving, then there’s a place that he built so you’d feel all those again.
You sit on your desk that Monday morning and try to act as if all your contrasting emotions aren’t weighing heavily on you.
Being with your friends over the weekend helped, as you took the train to meet them this time and told them everything that’s happened. You apologized for not telling them right away, but they knew that it was important for you to feel everything on your own first and try to figure it out. You said you really hadn’t - deciding to leave seemed so simple but the feelings and the truth complicated them, and now you’re left with a broken heart and the belief that Jungkook won’t forgive you, that he won’t want you anymore, that he'll just let you walk away without any closure.
Soomin and Jimin just held you and listened. They knew from the start it would be difficult. Your past wasn’t something you talked about so easily, and it took you years to even tell them your story, how you ended up in Busan and why you had to return to Daegu because it was already safe for you to go back home. There was no judgment, only support, even when you decided to enter the company and work for the people that you felt you owed your life to.
Their resentment towards Jungkook stemmed from how he treated you at the beginning; they knew that yours was the same. But they never questioned your sincerity when it came to how you felt - you’re never like this, they said. It takes a lot for you to let someone in and ties to his family isn’t enough for that. If anything, that’s what told them it was real - you would’ve tried hard to control the feelings but you still gave in, and for you to think he was worth that even for the briefest moment means he probably was.
Their perspective affirmed you in a way. This wasn’t just some silly crush on your boss, but this also wasn’t something you could just easily forget or get over. Your happiness always comes first, and it may look like a life with him in it, but it doesn’t mean he gets to be part of it right now. It’s also possible it’s one without him, and if it is, then you’re just going to have to learn to accept that.
You sigh to yourself. You’re in no better place than you were last week, but at least you have less days left in being here. But then again, that also just means the closer you are to really saying goodbye.
You go through your checklist of things to turn over and do before you leave, and while you’re halfway through, putting together event and project portfolios and documenting best practices still takes a lot of time.
You’re about to begin your first task of the day when you hear rushed footsteps. Lucas scurries over to your side to leave his things then grabs some folders.
“Hey, is everything okay?” You ask the visibly stressed man next to you.
“Uh, yeah,” he responds. “Mr. Jeon called for a meeting about the Arts Center and there are changes. He wants to add something.”
“At this stage?” You ask worriedly.
“Yeah. It seems like it’s quite a bit of work. I’m… I’m freaking out because this is a really big project and —I”
“Won’t disappoint him, I’m sure of it,” you try to comfort him. “You’ll be fine, Lucas. Just take a breath and take it one step at a time. I’ll be right here.”
You smile at him warmly, hoping that the bit of encouragement would help. The opening is a few weeks from now. At this point, focus should just be on finishing touches, finalizing government certifications, and promotion, but with how Lucas seems a bit rattled, the changes might indeed be a bit overwhelming.
He excuses himself to prepare the conference room and get the team then leaves, and as you’re about to follow him, Jungkook exits his office then stands by the hallway.
“Ms. Cho,” he calls out, prompting you to stay in your place. “There is no need for you to attend the meetings about the Arts Center.”
You’re taken aback by his statement but you recover.
“But… it’s opening in a few weeks, sir. There’s lots to do, and Lucas just said there are changes,” you counter. “If there’s anything I can do to help, you know I would.”
“I know that,” he says. “And I’m saying that there’s no need this time. The team can manage. You’ve taught them well.”
“But—”
“You’ve tendered your resignation, Ms. Cho,” he reminds you, his tone a little softer than it’s been recently. “Your remaining days here are meant for turnover and mentoring Lucas in his general functions, and not to take on added or continuing responsibilities.”
He may have a point, but it doesn’t take away from your sadness over no longer knowing how the preparations are going. You’ve become invested in the Arts Center this past year, too, and while you knew you had to let that go as well, it doesn’t mean it’s easy.
“Understood, sir,” you concede, bowing your head down in submission. “I’ll continue with my reports, then.”
He just nods, and you don’t miss the tinge of apology in his eyes. He leaves, and you’re left alone again; you think that’s how you’ve been feeling all this time.
You get on with your task, and it’s not long after when Hoseok enters, his bright smile only doing little to raise your spirits.
“Hey, ___,” he greets. “How are you holding up?”
“Just fine,” you try to smile. “Are you looking for Jungkook? He’s not here right now. He’s meeting the team about the Arts Center and if you’re wondering why I’m not there, it’s because he didn’t want me to be. First he replaces me, and then he excludes me and I just feel so… I…”
“Seems like you’re less than fine,” Hoseok says sullenly. “I’m so sorry, ___. I know this has been hard for you. For both of you.”
You know it is. But you suppose that you and Jungkook deal with difficulties differently.
“You… you understand why I had to do this, right?” You ask.
“I do,” he affirms, his eyes softening even further. “And so does Jungkook. And that’s the hard part. He doesn’t want you to go but he knows you have to do this for yourself. I guess… Your decisiveness hurt him. And with what I’m seeing now, I guess his acceptance hurt you, too.”
“I… I’m such a mess. Maybe I deserve all this,” you sigh. “How could I kiss him, push him away, leave him, want him, but can’t bring myself to be with him?”
“Because you’re human and could want things that you’re afraid of? Because it’s possible to want to find yourself while also being next to someone else yet still think it’s not enough?” Hoseok says. “It’s normal to feel all this, ___. But figuring things out also takes time. Don’t be too hard on yourself, okay? Not knowing what to do now is understandable.”
“I… I only have a few weeks left here,” you say softly. “Maybe this is how he wants this all to end.”
“What about you? Is this how you want it to end?”
“I don’t know, but maybe it’s easier,” you try to convince yourself. “It’s easier to walk away when I know I’m not wanted. Maybe that’s what I made him feel, and I can’t blame him if that’s what he wants me to feel in return.”
“Oh, ___,” Hoseok shakes his head, knowing it’s not the truth. “You and Jungkook just need to talk. Then you’d know you want the same things.”
“Maybe… but we’re not good at that. And it doesn’t mean we want the same things at the same time,” you reason.
“So it’s about timing, then?”
“I guess. But we’re not good at that either,” you laugh dryly at the absurdity of it. “Look, even without all this, he already has a lot of things in his mind. The biggest project of his life is about to be unveiled soon and I… I have a life to live after this. I’m doing what I should’ve done years ago and the least I could do for myself is stand by the decision I made. I know I’d regret it if I stayed. I don’t want to regret the way I walked away.”
It’s a thought you’re slowly coming to, as you look back at how the week has been. You’ve been receiving nothing but praise and encouragement from your colleagues. You’ve been getting emails from various companies that want to recruit you after you put your resume through an online job site. There are so many possibilities now that you’ve put one foot out the door, and while you know of the possibilities you’re also leaving behind, you know deep down that you would’ve regretted it if you stayed, and you don’t want to tie that decision to Jungkook and end up resenting him for it.
The only thing that’s been keeping you down is what that decision is doing to you and Jungkook. It’s one you hope you’re able to fix, or at least mend enough that you’ll only have the good memories with you, and that so would he.
“I’m just really sorry,” Hoseok says, knowing that much as he’d like to help you and his cousin sort things out, it’s difficult when neither of you are unable to sort out your own feelings. “But I’m not just here to talk about that. I… I wanted to give you this.”
Hoseok hands you a sealed envelope and you look at him curiously.
“I know Jungkook gave you his recommendation letter, but I thought another one won’t hurt,” he smiles, letting you feel the warmth of it.
You know that companies usually just call for references, but a letter like this - especially from a well-known corporation’s top executive - gives you an advantage that others don’t have. You suppose that when you received one from Jungkook, it was a show of support. You have no doubt that with Hoseok, it’s him telling you that he’ll always have your back, wherever you may be.
“Oh, Hoseok,” you say, feeling all the emotions come at once.
It’s insane to think that almost a year ago, you were in this same spot with him encouraging and assuring you that he’ll always be around. Back then, you were anxious about being led by someone new who you knew was nothing like the man you admired. And now you’re here again, and Hoseok is giving you that same comfort that he always has, and the thought that you won’t even be in the same building as him is causing a crack in your heart. You hope one day, you’ll be able to fully express just how much his kindness has given you hope and so much to look forward to.
“Thank you,” you smile through your glassy eyes. “You… you’ve taught me so much. I hope you know that much of the confidence I have now is because of you. I’m terrified of this new journey but I’m confident that I’ll do well. You believed in me first and I’ll never forget that.”
“Being a good leader is something I learned to become because of you, ___. And because of the team. I admire you for so many things, and I’m pretty sure that wherever you choose to go, the company will be so lucky to have you.”
“I hope so,” you remark, knowing that’s another thing you have to deal with. “I… I have a few options. A few companies have reached out but there’s a publishing house that I’m leaning towards. I met the editor some time ago and that encounter just stuck with me and I feel like that kind of environment would suit me.”
“That’s great to know,” he says excitedly. “I can’t wait to hear about it. A-yeong and I will take you out to dinner once things have settled down, okay?”
“That would be great. I can’t wait for that, too.”
Hoseok bids you goodbye, leaving you alone with your thoughts for the next two hours. Whatever changes are happening with the Arts Center must be big, as it’s taking the team this long to iron things out.
It’s close to lunch time when the meeting ends. Jungkook walks in while on a call, while Lucas sits next to you looking a little stressed.
“Everything alright?” You ask.
“Yeah. There are just last minute changes but Mr. Jeon’s on top of it,” Lucas says. “He just wants us to make sure we’re on top of the other things and I’m honestly still familiarizing myself with the details of the Arts Center. I’m just nervous I’m gonna miss something.”
“Hey, that’s what I’m here for,” you assure him. “I know you were just thrust into this at such a critical time where you don’t have much leeway to adjust and that’s on me and I’m sorry. But that’s also why I’m gonna make sure that I’ll help you as much as I can.”
“Thanks, I need that,” Lucas sighs. “I can’t help but think that a year ago, I was almost supposed to be here. I mean, we can talk about it now. Mr. Jeon said he planned on taking me with him because he doesn’t want a new assistant that he has to get used to, you know? I always knew he hated change and I was the one thing that was familiar but it didn’t work out. Even I knew it wasn’t gonna happen - CEO Jeon approves these appointments and the EA of the VP needs to be familiar with the company culture and process and I wasn’t. I wasn’t really upset but I let myself think of living in Seoul for a short while and it seemed exciting. But things happen for a reason, and I think if I had to adjust then while helping Mr. Jeon with this project, I probably would’ve caved in and quit.”
Lucas turns to you with a smile. “What I mean to say is that, I admire you so much for being able to manage all this. And I know I have incredibly big shoes to fill and I think I’m more terrified about that, but I’m really thankful that you’re there to guide me, ___. Whatever tip and strategy and cheat sheet you can provide will be much appreciated.”
“Of course,” you assure him. “I’ve got spreadsheets and checklists and profiles and guidelines to turn over to you. And I’m always a call away, okay?”
He nods in gratitude, and you tell him that you both have time to sort through all those and that you’ll be finished in time for your last day. You agree on having lunch together so you could talk about the Board members and the other executives, and he says he has to see Jungkook first to get his signatures for some documents.
“Oh, can you, uh, can you give this to him, too?” You ask, passing him your leave request. It was during your time alone when you decided when to take them, knowing that you’re gonna slowly have to get used to being away from this place as well.
Lucas takes it then returns shortly after with your signed form. There’s relief in knowing you get to organize your life somehow. There are interviews to attend and a lot of your things to fix. There are feelings to make sense of, too.
And as you and Lucas talk about his move and the worry and excitement he feels, you think that you’ve got to stop thinking of goodbyes. There’s a life for you out there, and if by some way you find Jungkook in there, too, then at least you’d know you chose him, and that if he’d forgiven you then, then you’re assured that he’s chosen you, too.
You spend the entirety of Tuesday orienting Lucas about your spreadsheets and other files, and you both come up with a system that suits his style of work. Jungkook was out the whole day, and though you suppress the feeling of missing him, it’s one that haunts you until you lay in your bed that night.
You take the rest of the week off. You spend Wednesday cleaning your apartment and then having dinner with the elderly couple next door who amuse you with their love story and memories of their youth.
You meet Namjoon on Thursday for that official interview he’s been waiting for. You can’t help but envision yourself in the office with the dynamism of the teams and the laid-back feel of the entire space. You’d commit yourself right then and there if it didn’t make you look that desperate, but it’s Namjoon who encourages you to go to the other interviews you have lined up.
It’s a risk, he says; he might lose you if another more appealing company states their case. But he wants you to choose them without regrets; he wants you to choose them because you’ve seen what’s out there and decided that they’re who you want and who you see yourself being happy in. You don’t miss his slightly nervous face when you agree, but you suppose that if you’re going to do this now, might as well do it right.
You go to two other interviews that Friday, and while trying out events management was always in the back of your mind, it’s nice to see just how the job and the tasks excite you.
It’s the first time you’re feeling like you actually have options. Back then, even if there were other opportunities, you chose working for the Jeons because of a debt you felt you had to pay. You limited your own choices, but now, you feel what it’s like to take control of your own life, and it’s liberating to not have any baggage with you this time around.
Jimin and Soomin pay you a visit that weekend. They drive you around, thinking that the beauty of spring would inspire you even more. It’s fitting, they say, as you start a new phase in your life while the flowers bloom and greet you. But as you pass by a park and see the colors of the sky and buy some convenience store snacks on the way home, you can’t help but think of Jungkook.
Missing him feels a little odd. You didn’t know what it felt like until his trip at the end of last year, but you always knew he was gonna come back. This time, you’re unsure of when you’ll see him again. You spent time with him in a work environment, so being away from him and doing everyday things shouldn’t even affect you this much. But you suppose it’s the idea of what could have been that you miss, even if you don’t really know what that’s like.
You spend Monday and Tuesday the next week the same way. There’s just one executive meeting each day that you attend to assess how Lucas manages it, but other than that, you barely see Jungkook in the office. He stays in his room all morning then heads out in the afternoon, and you leave before he could even make it back. It reminds you that you truly left him at a critical time. You don’t know if he’s eating well, if he’s getting proper rest, if he’s tending a bruised knuckle or dealing with a headache. You don’t know if the stress is getting to him, if the anxiety is slowly building up, or if it’s just excitement he feels and that he can’t wait for everything to come together.
You hope for his sake, it’s the latter. You want nothing more than to assure him that things will turn out the way he wants, that the intended audience will love the Arts Center, and that he’s already achieved so much with just this. You hope he’s proud of himself the way you are, and that he knows that if there’s anything he leaves you with, it’s your own pride that you got to be part of something beautiful, and it’s that search for connection and intimacy and meaning that got you yearning for those things, too.
You take the rest of the week off again. You run errands one day, go to an interview the next, and then walk around town the day after. It feels like you’re back to that state of being alone but not feeling lonely; there’s just that added sense of freedom this time.
You’re not stressed about work. Time isn’t flying too fast. You don’t feel like you’re rushing, going from one task to another for the sake of it. You have space to think and feel. Even at such a short period of time, you’re learning what things excite you and what you want to explore. And that’s liberating, now that you’re able to pull yourself out of the routine that contained you for years, one that made you believe it was all you had and all you deserved. You think that this isn't so bad, and the constant sadness you feel slowly fades away as the days pass.
But then you return to work on Monday - your final week - and the illusion breaks.
Lucas has to meet with the marketing department, so he asks you to prepare Jungkook’s coffee in the morning. You feel quite sentimental doing it, as you know that there probably won’t be a next time.
You knock on the door, and when he asks you to come in, you suddenly feel anxious. You place the cup on his desk, making sure you put the biscuits like you always do.
Jungkook senses when you step back, lingering like you’ve been doing the few times you’ve done it. You used to do it because you expected he’d have something to ask you whenever you entered his room. But recently, he feels it’s you just waiting - for him to say something, perhaps, or for you to find the courage to speak up.
But you never do. And he never says what he really wants to.
“It’s your last week, Ms. Cho,” he states, focusing on his iPad screen so as not to torture himself with the sight of you. “How’s your clearance going?”
“Uh, it is, Mr. Jeon,” you reply. “Finance and HR have cleared me. IT and security will clear me on my last day. And I’ll submit to you my final deliverables on Wednesday. You can sign off my form then.”
He nods, and you torture yourself by standing by even if he doesn’t seem to have anything else to say. You’re about to excuse himself when he speaks again.
“Please free up your Friday evening. We’ll have a team send-off dinner for you.”
“I, uh. Understood, sir. Thank you.”
He nods once more, and it’s your signal to leave. He’s never felt so far away, but you suppose it’s the kind of distance you need.
You walk back to your seat, the reality of your last week hitting you, especially when you find Do-hyun and Yohan by your desk, looking somber as they reach out for a hug. You return it, with Do-hyun pointing it out, and she frowns when you say that you’ll be without it for a long time.
“Is everything alright?” You ask them.
“Yes,” they respond in unison.
“We just want to spend as much time with you as we can,” Yohan states. “I know we’ve all been busy but… it’s your last week. So let’s have lunch today, and any other day when you’re free. Please?”
“Of course,” you say. “Food hall today?”
They nod excitedly, and you spend your lunch time at the outdoor space, laughing about, with Lucas slowly but surely finding his place within the team.
That afternoon, Yoongi drops by and says he has lots of things going on because of the changes Jungkook is making, but he’ll meet you when you want to. He reminds you that he’s there when you need him; he’ll turn down the other man if it comes down to it. But he’ll drop by everyday until your last day, he says; he doesn’t want to feel like he didn't see you enough.
You assure him that he’s the one person you’d definitely meet up with outside of work, and so there’s no limit when it comes to him.
On Tuesday, you have lunch with some people from the marketing department whom you’ve gotten close to these past months, and on Wednesday, Bitna and the other assistants take you out to dinner.
CEO Jeon and Hoseok take you out to lunch on Thursday, stating that they wanted to check in and ask what your plans are. They assure you that they’re there should you need support in any way; the company is likewise always going to have a place for you. And with the sincerity in their eyes and their hope of you finding your place and your happiness, you know they mean well. So you take that time to ask for advice, too.
It ends in laughter, as you recall your early days at the company and the mishaps with Hoseok. You talk about some of the issues you’ve been privy to and some details about your life that they missed. Talking with them feels comfortable now that there’s an acknowledgment of your ties to their family. You can tell that despite of and after everything, CEO Jeon truly cares for you and your mother, and that he’ll be eternally sorry yet grateful to both of you.
You’re thankful that they don’t mention Jungkook. You wouldn’t know how to react if they did, especially since you’ve barely seen him all week. Missing him has become natural that you’ve just accepted it, including the fact that you can’t do anything about it. Maybe you’ll always be too scared to let him know, too.
It’s Friday before you know it. You manage to get everything done on time, and Jungkook calls you to his office that morning to return your signed clearance form. You hate how you’re both back to this tense dynamic whenever you enter his room - lingering looks, clenched jaws, deafening silence… and words you want to say and hear but know you never would. You’re both not built for that, you think; there’s always so much to feel but not enough courage to face them.
This room holds so many memories - when he got mad, when you stood up to him, when he said he needed your help, when he kissed you and you kissed him back… when you pushed him away.
But this isn’t where you say goodbye. There’s still that team dinner tonight and you hope you get to leave him with a proper farewell and a sincere expression of thanks for all that he’s taught you. You want to wish him good luck on the Arts Center opening. You want to tell him that you believe he’ll keep doing great things, you want to remind him to take proper rest, to take his breaks seriously, and to enjoy all that’s ahead of him.
So you settle for a smile, as genuine as you can make it, before heading out and closing the door behind you.
You return to your desk and go over some other things with Lucas that he needs clarifications on. You both spend lunch with the team and then resume your final turnover.
It’s shortly after 3 PM when Jungkook comes out of his room with his bag in hand, and he instructs Lucas to get some blueprints from Chin-sun before they both leave to go to the Arts Center for a visit. The man next to you gets up and tells you he’ll see you at dinner, leaving you and Jungkook alone this time.
It’s that lingering look again and he stays rooted in his spot, his eyes getting more distant as the seconds pass.
“I wish you well, ___,” he says, the use of your name with words that seem like goodbye causing a crack in your heart. “Good luck. And thank you.”
He doesn’t wait for a response as he leaves right after, and you’re left with your heart in your hands, one that keeps calling his name. You think it will continue to do that after all this.
You spend the rest of the afternoon packing your things and entertaining all those who drop by to say goodbye. Yoongi messages to say he’s out on a project site but that he’ll see you soon, and it’s something you look forward to after things have settled down.
You find yourself in a private room at a nice restaurant with the team not long after. You can order anything, you’re told, and Do-hyun and Yohan don’t hesitate on choosing the dishes that they wouldn’t have been able to eat if it wasn’t for their boss paying for this meal.
“Shouldn’t we wait for Lucas and Mr. Jeon?” You ask, looking around and feeling incomplete.
“This dinner is for you, and you’re here,” Do-hyun points out. “But I guess we can wait.”
You settle for some appetizers and get to talking. They’re less sentimental than they were a few weeks ago. They say they’ve made peace with everything and are just happy that you’re able to take a break and have time for yourself before going back to the grind. It’s all talk and laughter, and when Lucas arrives, everybody cheers because then, you can all have your food served.
“Where’s Mr. Jeon?” Do-hyun asks before you do.
“He’s at the Arts Center dealing with the laborers and the design team,” Lucas says regrettably. “Seems like there’s too much work and he can’t make it to dinner. I doubt he even eats at this point. He’s there every afternoon and doesn’t leave until late at night.”
“Is everything alright?” You ask, a mix of worry and sadness at how much he’s pushing himself, and that he didn’t even have the heart to see you one last time.
Perhaps that short exchange earlier was his final goodbye, you think. And now you wouldn’t even be able to say yours.
“Yeah, you know how he is when he focuses on something,” Lucas sighs. “He just locks in and doesn’t care about anything else. He’s always been like that and I guess that hasn’t changed. But he did say he wants us to enjoy tonight, so order anything you want and he’ll take care of it.”
You mask the disappointment by laughing through Do-hyun and Yohan arguing about the best way to attack the menu, but you can’t help the way your eyes flit to the door every time it opens, hoping Jungkook would walk through it. But it’s never him.
Mr. Ri walks in right as the main dishes are served, and you look at him in question. He returns your dejected look with a shake of his head, as if he knows what you're thinking.
You suppose that this is how Jungkook wanted to end things - by not showing up, by leaving the wound uncovered. You didn’t realize it would hurt like this.
Maybe you deserve it. Maybe you don’t. But with the empty seat on the table reminding you of the man who chose to not give you a final goodbye because you’d done yours so certainly, you’re starting to think that it doesn’t really matter. He gets to choose how he deals with this, like he said. And you have no choice but to do the same.
You try your hardest to keep up with the team’s energy. They’re at least no longer crying, although you wish they were so you’d have a reason to cry yourself, because that’s what you’re trying hard not to do. It’s probably because of the sadness at knowing that you won’t experience this with them anymore; you won’t share the laughter and the stories that you used to. Everything is sinking in already, and it’s reality hitting you that you’re really going to start a new journey soon, and that you had to let go of someone incredibly important for that to happen.
The Jungkook-shaped hole in your life will probably get bigger as the days pass, but that’s just another thing missing that you’ll have to find substitutes for, just like you do for everything else.
You manage to get through dinner with dry eyes, even when you’re presented with farewell gifts. Lucas hands you a large box - a present from the VP’s Office, he says, and you smile in awe when you see a coffee pod maker that’s a similar version to the one you have at the pantry.
“You won’t be going around making other people’s coffee anymore,” Manager Lee says. “So this is for your home. You’ll be on-the-go and busy but at least you’ll have this. It’s also so you’ll always remember us.”
“It’s also how I started,” you point out, recalling your internship days at the company. “But this is great. Please uh, please thank Mr. Jeon for me.”
“And this is from us,” Do-hyun smiles, handing you another box. “Like, this is from our own pockets. And we thought of every single thing in there so don’t forget about us. Ever.”
You open it and find a lot of the things that they know you can’t live without - a tumbler, a mug, notebooks, colored pens and highlighters, post-its, little jars of snacks and candies. There are also self-care items like scented candles and essential oils. In a little bag, there are two disposable cameras and vouchers to your local theater.
And underneath all of those is a complete photo of your team, the one taken during your team building not long ago. Everyone looks refreshed and carefree. Including you. And then there’s Jungkook next to you, hands in his pockets and sporting what you know is a genuine smile. It’s a good reminder of your time together, and despite everything, you’re glad you have something to always keep close to you.
You return their hugs, each one carrying so much care and warmth that you missed out on because you were never one to accept them, to ask for them. You finally say goodbye and make a promise that you’ll catch up with them one of these days, one you know you’ll keep.
You all walk out. Mr. Ri helps you with your things then leads you towards the car.
“Last one for old time’s sake,” he smiles at you. “And it’s late. Let me drive you home.”
You don’t resist, knowing that as someone who’s looked after you for so many years, never faltering in his commitment to your mother or you, you’re truly going to miss him.
Sitting on the passenger seat, you look out the window and try to amuse yourself with the scenes outside. There are cars passing by and people trying to get home, probably grateful that another week is over. You wonder how many of them are nursing broken hearts, or are running away from something, or are hoping someone they pushed away comes back.
The tears are falling before you know it, and as you try to hold in your sniffles, you see Mr. Ri from your periphery glance at you before turning on the radio, gradually making the music louder so as to drown out your sounds. That continues for a while until the streets start to look familiar. Somehow, you dread going home - being alone at a time like this feels a little too much, but maybe you deserve that, too.
You arrive at your apartment, and Mr. Ri helps you in bringing all your stuff inside. He stays by the door and his soft eyes prompt you to speak.
“I thought he’d come,” you whisper. “I thought I’d see him one last time. He… he couldn’t even say goodbye.”
“You know it’s not always easy for people to do that,” he says. “Letting you go was hard enough. What if he says something that would push you even farther away?”
“I can’t be any farther than I am right now,” you sigh. “But we did this to each other. I didn’t want to stay and he… just let me walk away. I hurt him but everything else after hurt me, too. And I… I wish it didn’t. I—”
You’re unable to speak as you cry once more, all the conflicting emotions suffocating you from within. And all Mr. Ri can do is wipe your tears with his handkerchief and hope that could stop them somehow.
“This hurts me,” he utters the words so softly and so heavy with emotion. “It’s like watching my daughter get her heart broken.”
It’s what makes you smile, and you take the piece of cloth from him and dry your eyes.
“I could’ve been,” you say, knowing that he wanted a family at one point.
“That’s true. But most times I think that I would’ve been too burdened by what I’ve done that I wouldn’t have been able to love your mother the way she deserves,” he reasons. “And I’ll always think that I let her go so that she could find someone like Min-woo who’d love her without reservations, who’d be able to give her a life that she’d always dreamed to have and to give you.”
Mr. Ri recalls his own decisions and the heartbreaks that followed right after. They conflicted him, too, but in life, knowing what you want doesn’t always mean you get to express it the way you want to. Sometimes doing it makes it harder for everyone involved, and that’s what he thinks is what’s happening with you and Jungkook, too.
“I think it’s what Jungkook has learned,” he continues. “He has to let you go so you could find whatever happiness it is that you couldn’t find where you are. And as for you, you have to know that letting someone go right now doesn’t mean you can’t ever have them again. You just have to stop thinking you don’t deserve to want it.”
You take his words to heart as you bid him goodbye, and they stay in your head as you force yourself to sleep later that night.
You don’t know what kind of happiness you’re searching for. You don’t even know what happiness could truly be like with Jungkook, and the thought that maybe you’ll never know starts to scare you. It’s one you think you’d like to one day experience. But how could you when you pushed him away? Is it even something you could still want, given what you’ve done? Is it something he’d want to know as well? In the midst of the mess you created, could it still happen?
You’re reminded of what CEO Jeon had said not long ago, and you try to comfort yourself with it. You crossed paths with Jungkook for a reason. You’ve started to believe that you’re losing him for a reason. You just have to trust that if it’s meant to be, you’ll find him again for a reason as well.
You just hope that when you do, he’ll take you back again, ask you to stay, and you’ll be able to tell him with your whole heart that you will. And that it’s something you won’t ever regret.
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This drama is so good but it also makes me so angry!
The sequence where ZL figures out that some serious abuse is about to go on at Nan Ya's house (and it's telling he's the only one who notices, not because he's a super genius, but because the rest don't care at all, and it's just whatever - who cares what's going on in that house) and actually makes it in time to shield her but also has the wherewithal to tell his mother to call the cops beforehand?
It doesn't go how you think it does - he does protect her (and this is probably the first time she didn't end up with major wounds but only minor ones!) but all it does is make me hate everyone in that town MORE!
Because her husband now starts beating him up because how dare anyone interfere with his doing what he wants with his property. He almost kills ZL because "how dare you get into our business"
And the horror is that everyone in town we see, even ZL's own mother - ECHO WHAT HE SAYS. It's not just the fact that it's telling that the one time the monster got arrested it was for beating another man or that the cops themselves are standing up for the abuser and that cop is doing everything to keep the abuser from going to jail...
It's the fact that EVERYONE, even ZL's mom, who is the closest to sanest we've seen in this town, are in complete agreement that the severe abuse is a matter between married couple and why should anyone intervene. THE HELL THE HELL THE HELL!!! I am not saying anyone is obligated to play the hero and cover her up with his body a la ZL but to at least agree that he's wrong and not join the husband's side of the argument is like the basic level of human decency, it's the bare minimum, beneath it likes the pit.
The hell?! How is it her fault she is being abused?! And when the mom is all "you are fine but my son is unconscious in a bed" - does she realize that the only reason NY is "fine" and not unconscious or dead is because ZL stood up for her? I get she's distraught but this is horrible.
And if you can understand her lashing out as fear for her son, the conversation mom has with ZL shows no, she genuinely thinks it's nobody's business but the couple's that the man is abusing his wife to death.
Astonishingly, the answer from his mom appears to be "yes."
Because her pablum is just that - pablum. She insists NY would be fine because it's more comfortable to think she will be, that way you don't have to do anything.
She is only fine because he shielded her and drew the man's wrath on himself!
What the fuck! It makes me think of two Russian folk sayings: "if he beats you means he loves you" and "lovers physically fight it means they are just playing." They are both appalling and demonstrate an attitude these people seem to live by.
He is not even some amazing paragon - he's a grey person through and through. But compared to the rest of the inhabitants of this hellhole, he might as well be from another planet due to possessing basic decency!
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can we really become strangers again?
#strangers again#korean drama#kang sora#jang seung jo#mygif#i think some peeps might have been frustrated with the ending#and i can kind of understand why#but eh#i might be in the minority where i actually liked the drama#wasnt perfect by any means#but i never felt frustrated or felt like it was pointless or a waste of my time#i quite enjoyed it#i actually cared for our two main characters and their relationship#they were flawed and i like that part of them#they were human and they made mistakes like anyone else#so overall this drama was a pretty pretty solid watch#in my post about the finale i just couldnt shut up about them or the drama overall#i think thats pretty telling about how i feel about this drama :]
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do not disturb
pairing- jake 'hangman' seresin x female!reader (no use of y/n)
synopsis-
“It’s one hundred degrees in this room,” Hangman defends himself. “I can’t sleep in pants, I’ll die.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose, considering just sleeping in the hallway yourself and ending this torture. “Is your penchant for drama genetic? Are your sisters like this too?”
warnings- 18+ only minors DNI, what's a plot never met her, explicit protected piv sex, lil corruption/innocence kink, choking (pls look up the correct way before doing it), hangman's dirty mouth, size kink (if jake doesn't have a big dick I'm staging a revolt), brat tamer hangman if you squint, inexperienced ish reader (tried but I'm a hoe so idk if I managed it), no kink negotiation here (talk to your partners first irl), safewords not explicitly stated but I promise this is consensual af, excessive pet names, exasperated sleepy friends to lovers
length- 4k this was supposed to be like 1k I don't know blame hangman
an- this is just smut w lil fluff sprinkles. i'm a hangman girl (read: I'm obsessed with glen powell) so I felt some type of way about being mean to him in tailspin & that's why this now exists. also idfk what this even is sorry! hope it's not terrible ok ily bye
Technically, it’s the middle of the night.
That’s why you’re burying homicidal urges when you hear knocking on your hotel room door.
Urges that increase tenfold when you open it to see Jake Seresin, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly in an old Navy shirt that looks way too soft for your sleep addled brain to deal with right now.
“Hangman,” you greet drily. “Why the fuck.”
Rubbing sleep from your eyes, you’re not unhappy to see him, per se, but it’s well past acceptable social hours. He’ll have to forgive your less than enthusiastic welcome. Part of you thinks you might still be sleeping.
He at least has the decency to look sheepish for waking you up. Well, about as sheepish as Hangman is capable of looking. “Coyote said he was bringing someone back to our room. Can I crash with you tonight? Everyone else is either hooking up or dead asleep.”
Fucking weddings.
You narrow your eyes. “What if I have someone here?”
He smirks and you kind of want to slap him.
A testament to your willpower, you sigh instead, briefly wondering if it’s really that bad to force him to sleep in the hallway, before opening the door and stepping to the side.
“Thanks, sweetheart,” he drawls, letting you feel the heat of his body as he passes by you, just a touch too close for comfort.
“Cool pjs.” He smirks again, raking his eyes up and down your colorful matching shorts and shirt set.
“Bite me.”
Hangman smiles good-naturedly causing you to idly wonder if anything has ever bothered him in his entire life.
“You’re real cute when you’re tired,” he says instead of being offended and now you’re debating if you actually should slap him, or maybe yourself for the way his compliment brings heat to your cheeks.
“Where’s Phoenix? Thought you were sharing a room with her this weekend.”
Your stomach drops as you consider that Phoenix might be why he came to crash in your room, and you try not to make a face at its betrayal.
“She’s probably in your room with Coyote,” you deadpan to cover up your discomfort, and then relish in the way his mouth drops open in surprise. “Christ, aren’t you supposed to be smart, Hangman? I’m kidding, she met someone at the reception.”
You know you’re being a little more abrasive with him than normal, but you can’t quite help the jabs that come out when you’re feeling uneasy.
And Hangman does nothing, if not make you very, very uneasy. Especially like this, with his blonde hair soft and flopping all over his forehead, that old t-shirt clearly having been shrunk in the wash over the years straining across his chest, riding up a little high above his sweatpants.
The gears are clearly turning in his head, no doubt forming something witty to gain back the slight upper hand you’ve gained in this verbal sparring.
You should be preparing yourself for whatever he’s about to say that’s sure to make you lose your footing. But he looks like a goddamn sleepwear model like this, mellow and soft and cuddly, eyes drooping a little from tiredness and the whiskey he was sipping on all night, clothes begging to have someone’s hands fisted in them and…okay. Stopping that train of thought right the fuck now.
Nothing but danger lies down that road with a girl like you and a guy like Hangman.
You’re contemplating if you could get away with taking a cold shower when he finally looks around your room, its distinct lack of two beds apparently killing whatever comeback he had on the tip of his tongue.
“I can sleep on the floor.” He’s rubbing the back of his neck again and his uncharacteristic awkwardness is starting to make your skin itch.
Message received, Hangman. We both know I’m not your type.
You’ve seen the girls he usually goes home with. Even if every single one of them wasn’t annoyingly beautiful, you already know where you stand with him. For all intents and purposes, you’re just another one of the guys. Sure, you don’t take a different conquest home every other night like the rest of them, but you banter and compete with them like buddies.
And since you and Hangman are just buddies, you roll your eyes for appearances. “Just get in the bed, Seresin. It’s huge, I’m not going to make you sleep on the floor.”
He shrugs, like he’s giving himself credit for his half-assed offer and goes to pull his sweatpants off. You give him a withering look of disbelief, studiously avoiding looking at the way his boxers stretch over his muscular thighs.
“It’s one hundred degrees in this room,” Hangman defends himself. “I can’t sleep in pants, I’ll die.”
You pinch the bridge of your nose, considering just sleeping in the hallway yourself and ending this torture. “Is your penchant for drama genetic? Are your sisters like this too?”
He just gives you a dazzling smile in response, and you spin away from him before everything inside you melts.
Turning the thermostat down, you shoot an evident you’re welcome stare in his direction, but his sweatpants remain in their place on the floor. He’s laid out on the bed, all tanned skin and muscle, arms crossed behind his head in a way that’s surely meant to draw your attention straight to his biceps.
Deep breath, you tell yourself. You can do this, just lay down on the other side and don’t be weird.
You get in and pull the covers tight, hoping the shiver that runs through you as the air conditioning kicks on isn’t noticeable.
“And I’m dramatic,” Jake huffs, getting under the blanket and rolling closer to you. You tense, merely out of reflex and a frown creases his eyebrows almost imperceptibly before he gets comfortable on his side, pulls you into his arms. “Relax, sugar. Just trying to keep you warm, since you’re always so cold. Been told I’m like a furnace.”
By who? You want to snap at him, but instead you swallow the words and lean into his chest. He really is warm.
“Would never do anything you don’t want me to,” he mumbles, but there’s a trace of a chuckle in his voice that feels like he’s making fun of you.
Mocking aside, that's definitely true.
You'd never expect him to do any of the things you want him to, either. There's a reason your apprehension stems from you crossing some sort of invisible line with him in your bed and not vice versa.
"I know," you whisper, not trusting yourself to say much else without divulging all the thoughts about him you've buried deep under your comforter at home.
“How come you didn’t ask anyone else to come up and keep you warm?” Jake teases, after a few moments of silence where you were busy focusing on the whirr of the air conditioner and trying to ignore your pounding heart.
You squint, still kind of wondering if he can feel your pulse racing.
“The curly haired guy, from the wedding,” he supplies helpfully to answer your confused expression.
Oh. You’re surprised Jake noticed you talking to him at all. “It’s not like I wanted to sleep with him. We were just chatting.”
“Well, he definitely wanted to.” You’d love to imagine there’s a hint of bitterness in his tone, but you know that’s just wishful thinking.
“That’s not really my thing,” you say quietly, as if he doesn’t already know. He knew enough to know you wouldn’t have anyone up here with you, after all.
It’s so much easier, laying here in the dark, not having to meet his beautiful green eyes, to be honest. All your jabs having melted into smooth, silky edges at the warmth of his body.
There’s a playful lilt to Jake’s voice again. “Sex?”
You smack him lightly on the chest. “One-night stands. I can never get comfortable enough with a stranger to have a good time, things are just better for me when it’s more involved.”
When there’s feelings, you don’t say, because you’re pretty sure he can put two and two together without you having to spell it out.
You still kind of wish you hadn’t said anything, are kicking yourself for admitting that out loud when he cuts through the anxiety of your internal monologue.
“Nothing wrong with knowing what you want, darlin’.”
“It sucks sometimes,” you admit. “It can be a little lonely.”
“Better than being with the wrong person if it’s just going to make you feel bad.”
Part of you wants to roll your eyes and scoff at him, as if Casanova Jake Seresin has any idea what that feels like, but he’s rubbing small, comforting circles in between your shoulder blades and it’s short-circuiting your brain. You find yourself running your fingers up his spine instead, playing with the soft threads of his t-shirt like you’ve wanted to since the moment you saw him at your door tonight.
“Feels nice,” he comments, pulling you in closer.
Spurred on by his praise you keep going, wandering down his back to where his shirt rides up. You look down and see that little strip of blonde hair that disappears into the waistband of his boxers, slung low enough that you can see that stupid Adonis belt on his abs. Your hand moves to the front of him of its own accord, tracing the ridges there, brushing dangerously close to the strip of elastic at the top.
Jake’s arm pops up so he can support his head with his hand, looking down at you imploringly. “What’re you playing at, sugar?”
You take your hand back like it’s been burned, cheeks suddenly hot as you realize you’d gotten carried away. “I’m sorry, I just—I didn’t think about what I was doing. Got distracted.”
He’s definitely smirking, you can practically feel it in the air above you, but you’re sure as hell not going to look up and see that self-important grin for yourself.
He pulls your fingers back to his stomach, and you can’t help but immediately brush them over his happy trail. The dusting of blonde hair surprises you a little, having expected Hangman to be too vain to leave any hair around that might distract from his physique.
You’re silently wondering if he has any hair on his chest when he catches a finger under your chin, forcing you to look up at him. You see his green eyes darkened, studying your face for something. You’re not entirely sure what.
Apparently finding what they’re looking for his expression softens, the hand supporting his head going to brush hair away from your face and you break eye contact, feeling small under his undivided attention. His fingers hover for a second, like he wants to do something more, but go to rest on your pillow instead.
“Thought that I had you pegged wrong all along for a second there, using lines to get in my pants. That’s not really my thing,” he mimics, smile twitching at the edges of his lips.
“Oh, I’m—Jake, I’m not—” you stutter, certain you must be bright red now. Your fingers are playing with the hem of his t-shirt, nervous and fidgety energy working to get released.
I’m not like this, you want to say. I’m not like you.
He exhales audibly, looking down at you, at the cherry blooming on your cheeks, at where your dainty fingers pluck at his shirt. His hand clenches once in the pillow above your head, knuckles practically white, before releasing.
“I know, sweets, was only joking. Fuck, I get that you’re a good girl,” he breathes, strained like he’s barely holding it together. “S’why I always want to ruin you.”
What.
Everything inside your mind shuts off.
All you can hear is the humming of the air conditioner, the slow intake of air into his lungs. Something inside you clenches.
You’re fairly certain a sound that closely resembles a whimper breaks from your throat, but you can’t know for sure, since all thoughts have been erased from your brain.
You hear him suck in a sharp breath, breathing in and out evenly for a couple seconds, regaining control, before he speaks again. “Sorry, sweetheart. Shouldn’t have said that. I won’t, told you I’d never do anything you don’t want.”
You already know that. That’s not the problem. The problem is how many nights you’ve already spent wishing his fingers were on you instead of your own. How many nights you've spent biting back his name, too embarrassed to let your lips form the syllables of someone who you were certain didn’t want you.
Now, though, those walls of certainty seem to be crumbling at every edge.
“What if I want you to?” You ask quietly, barely above a whisper. It almost gets stuck in your throat, but you force your lips to form those words and let them leave your lungs.
Jake’s entire body goes tense.
But then he rolls over, putting you on your back and caging you in with his arms.
“You mean that?” He’s looking at you intensely, so intensely you might be frightened if you weren’t distracted by the weight of him on top of you, by every single scorching point of contact between you.
All you can manage is a nod, eyes starting to glaze over as he fills every inch of your vision.
He chuckles. “Guess that’s a yes.”
Jake ducks his head to kiss you, it’s sweet, sweeter than you ever would’ve expected from him. Sweeter than you thought it would be when you were hiding beneath the sheets in your bed, with your fingers on your clit, choking back his name.
But then he slides his tongue past your lips, deepening the kiss as he tangles a hand in your hair, tugging hard enough to make you moan straight into his mouth. His lips move down to ghost over your neck, across your jaw.
And suddenly his words are hot in your ear. “What do you want, sweetheart? Want me to ruin you? Tell you about all the times I’ve thought about taking you apart?”
Your thighs clench together, heat blooming in your stomach and you notice, all at once, how wet you really are, slick pooling between your thighs under the wispy material of your sleep shorts.
You open your mouth to say yes, desperately trying to find your voice, to find your familiar jabs so you can go toe to toe with him like normal, but all that comes out is a squeak.
His hand stops at your neck, just briefly, thumb rubbing on your pulse point. And it turns every last bit of you in you to sweet, sticky, melting caramel. Your breath hitches, you suck your bottom lip between your teeth, holding back a whimper.
He’s not even doing anything, not really, but your mind immediately latches onto what he could be.
Jake’s eyes go wide for just a second before something wicked glints in the thin ring of green left.
“Thought you were so fucking innocent,” he grunts, running his thumb from your pulse point to your jaw and back again. You bring your hands to his, pulling him closer, silently asking him to press down.
You open your mouth to respond, but you don’t know how to explain. You may not do this kind of thing a lot, but you know what you like. Your imagination has certainly run wild enough times.
But any words that might’ve been readying themselves to leave your lips wither into nothing the moment he squeezes your neck.
“Jake,” you gasp, words breathy underneath the fingers around your throat. “Jake, I…”
“Hmm, what’s that, sweetheart?” His hand relents a little so you can answer, but you immediately wish he’d tighten his hold again.
“Yes, Jake,” you whine. “I want you to ruin me.”
And you don’t know what’s come over you, if you were even an ounce more present in your own body you’d probably be embarrassed.
But Jake’s head drops next to his hand at the crook of your neck, and he makes a strangled noise, the moan reverberating through your skin.
“Jesus,” he mutters against you. “Trying to kill me, sugar?”
You don’t have an answer for that because you’re not trying to do anything, you just want more.
Your fingers are still grasping his hand, the one still around your neck, tightly, like you’re scared he’ll pull it away, leave you to drift without his grip to ground you, to remind you this moment is real. It’s actually happening.
He lifts his head up to latch his mouth onto yours again and it’s heavier, so much more desperate than before. You whine into him as he slides his hands down your body, pushing up your shirt and you want to laugh at the absurdity of it, that you’re more turned on than you’ve ever been in your entire life and you’re both still fully clothed.
He peels your shirt up and over your head, letting out another obscene groan at the sight of your bare chest.
“Fucking perfect,” he murmurs.
You fist your hands in his shirt in answer, tugging upwards, figuring fair is fair. You’re trying hard not to blush, not to show how his approval makes you light and fuzzy. He grins and sits back on his knees, pulling his shirt up and over his head, ruffling his floppy hair in the process.
Lips parting unconsciously, your tongue flicks out to wet them. You knew he was built, but it’s overwhelming, really, to have all that tan skin on display just inches from your face. You get to run your hands up the length of his entire chest now though, leaning up so your fingers can dance through the tuft of blonde hair near the top.
Jake pushes you down on your back, firm, into the pillows. Smiling deviously when you pout and immediately clench your fingers in the sheets beside you, when your thighs press together, seeking some sort of relief to the ache between them. The seam of your shorts presses just right against your center, and you let your head fall back with a soft moan.
Something akin to dangerous flashes in Jake’s eyes, as he hooks his fingers in your shorts, pulling down in one swift motion and tossing them off the bed before you can gain any more pleasure from the thin material. He pushes your legs apart and groans at the sight of you, glistening wet for him. “God, sweetheart, look at you.”
Just when you think you might die if he doesn’t put his hands on you, if he doesn’t touch you, if he just keeps looking at you like that, like he wants to devour you; he swipes a finger up your slit, tip pressing lightly, teasingly against your bundle of nerves. It’s too much, but not enough all at the same time. He slides a finger in, curling it exactly right on the first try and you can’t help but keen, throwing your head back into the pillows.
He sucks in a sharp breath at your reaction, eyelids going heavy as he presses rough figure eights on your clit. “Want to get my mouth on you, get my tongue inside that gorgeous pussy, but I can’t wait, darlin’, been thinking about this for too long.”
Warmth blooms in your chest at the realization he might’ve imagined this even half as much as you have. You’re sure you’re smiling like an idiot.
Reaching down to the pocket of his sweatpants, he pulls a condom out of his wallet, and you want to tease him, presumptuous much? But any semblance of thought goes out the window when he pulls his boxers down, hard cock slapping against his stomach. Your mouth is suddenly, immediately sandpaper dry.
Fuck.
Of course he’s huge. No one with an ego as colossal as his doesn’t have a reason, or several to back it up.
You don’t even hear yourself saying it out loud, don’t even realize the curses forming on your tongue, until he grins, eyebrow raised, chest puffed out in pride. “Think you can handle me, sweetheart?”
It takes you a few moments to answer, to figure out that you should answer, since you’re transfixed on him, on the strong fingers rolling the condom onto his length. If you had any sense of self-preservation at all you might be genuinely worried about his question, about not being able to walk tomorrow.
Hopefully you don’t sound as winded as you feel when you tell him to shut the fuck up.
Before you can bother with any stupid survival instincts, you’re pulling him down on top of you, wrapping your legs around his waist, savoring the grunt it draws from him as his tip reaches your folds.
“Love it when you’re mouthy, darlin’, nice little challenge for me,” he promises, before pushing himself inside of you.
He goes slow, tortuously slow, and you screw your eyes shut tight as your walls flutter trying to adjust to him. You don’t notice you’re on the verge of a sob until he brushes your hair back from your sweaty forehead. “Just a little more, sweetheart, you can take it.”
The stretch of him seems to go on forever, just on this side of agonizing, but way too good for you to care about the pain, too good to be real and you can barely focus on anything else. Can barely hear Jake’s molten honey voice repeating a slew of continuous praises in your ear, can barely register the weight of his body covering every inch of you.
Any moment now you’ll wake up in your bed at home, covered in sweat, grinding into your bed, achingly alone. You’re almost certain of it.
But then you feel his lips on yours again, hand holding your cheek, gentle, affectionate as he bottoms out. When he finally moves, the heavy, slick pull of him in and out of you reminds you that you’re here.
You don’t even recognize yourself, mewling, long string of unintelligible noises tumbling from your lips.
Jake practically preens. “Where’d my feisty little brat go? That all it takes to shut you up, sugar?”
You can only hope those were rhetorical questions because he’s hiking your legs over his shoulders, picking up the pace, new angle hitting that spot deep inside you again and again, and you can’t form a single thought, let alone words.
Jake’s fingers find your center again and press against your clit in heavy, decisive circles, winding that coil in you tighter and tighter.
“So close,” you whimper, fingers tearing at the bedsheets.
He smirks.
“Did I say you could come, sweetheart?”
Your jaw drops in surprise, eyes rolling back and ears ringing, mind engulfed in the heat burning in your belly.
He’s still grinning smugly as one of those large hands comes back to your neck.
You whine, high-pitched and breathless, eyes fluttering closed, gripping the hand around your neck as he applies pressure, desperate for something to hold onto, and you think you’re trying to form words, some of them may even be making it out of your mouth, something along the lines of please please please, let me come, Jake, I can’t, JakeJakeJakeJake…
“So pretty all fucked out like this, stretched around my cock.” His gaze is fixed on where he’s plunging in and out of you, tone almost reverent. “It’s okay, sweetheart, come for me, wanna feel you, want…”
You don’t hear the rest because you’re focused on where his fingers dig into the sides of your neck, tipping over the edge, string of lights inside of you tangled and blowing a fuse. Everything bursts all at once and you’re clutching Jake’s arms so hard you’re positive you’re leaving marks, but it doesn’t matter, you don’t care because you’re in a free fall, toes curling in bliss.
When you come to, you’re just barely aware of his pace growing erratic, hand on your throat loosening as it goes to brush your sweaty hair back from your forehead. His thrusts are getting shallower, mouth spewing a litany of jumbled praises so tight, so wet, so perfect baby, when suddenly he’s arching over you, hands tight on your hips as he empties into the condom.
You’re not sure you’re still functioning. You’re not sure you’ll ever move again. You’re pretty sure you’ll ever have a coherent thought again.
Distantly you can hear his heavy breathing, feel his weight on top of you but you don’t fully register it.
“Sweetheart?” He asks when you’ve been silent for minutes, or maybe hours, who knows.
You look up at him, blinking slowly, eyelids made of lead, vision unfocused.
Jake grins, and it's almost boyish. It's annoyingly cute. “That good?”
That cuts through the haze enough that you kind of want to slap him, for the arrogance littering those three little words. Or yourself, for helping his ego grow any bigger.
As it stands, you’re too dazed to actually do either. You nod, silently burrowing your face into his neck. He chuckles again, and you decide maybe you don’t hate that teasing sound that much, maybe you’ll spend your days trying to elicit it from him as often as possible. You’re still thinking about it when he peels himself off you to clean you both up.
When he settles back down, he pulls you in tight, curls around you in a way that should be uncomfortable, like he’d crawl inside your skin if he could.
+
Jake is still glued to you when you wake up in the morning, and your heart clenches too affectionately to be irritated by the fact that you can’t really move. Or breathe.
But you take one look at the smirk on his face, the mischievous glimmer that seems to linger even in his sleep and the butterflies in your stomach turn to stone.
You don’t think he’s that much of an asshole, you’re pretty sure the bravado is all a front. That he wouldn’t do something like this, knowing how you operate, without any intention of moving forward, but the anxiety still thrums incessantly beneath your ribcage.
You’re lost inside your own head, fighting the panic rising in your chest when he yawns, rubbing his eyes before tucking himself back into your side, impossibly closer.
“Guess that fifty bucks I gave Phoenix to find somewhere else to stay was a steal,” he mumbles, fingers dancing across your bare skin.
It’s his turn to pat himself on the back as your mouth drops open in shock.
Jake grins, eyes sparkling as he presses a kiss into your hair. “Good luck getting rid of me now.”
#jake hangman seresin#hangman x reader#hangman x you#jake seresin x you#jake seresin x reader#hangman smut#hangman top gun#jake hangman seresin x reader#jake seresin#jake seresin imagine#jake seresin smut#jake seresin fanfiction#top gun maverick fanfic
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backseat
pairing: vada cavell x reader
summary: in which you accidentally make vada jealous
warnings: smut (character is 18+), 18+ (minors DNI), fingering, strap-on sex
word count: 2200+
author's note: killed multiple birds with one stone on this one. also, never wrote strap-on smut before, so hope this is ok...
"You've got this, Y/N," Mia whispered, her face hovering close to yours, voice barely loud enough to hear over the music blaring through her home. "Just...focus."
"I'm trying," you said, your arm raised, a ping pong ball gripped between your forefinger and thumb. "But someone is breathing over my shoulder."
"Oh." She took a step back. "Is that better?"
"Much." You closed one eye, aimed at the last red solo cup on the opposite end of the table, and took your shot. The ball soared through the air, and you swore that time stopped for a moment. Both you and Mia froze as the ball circled the rim of the cup once, twice, before finally dropping in and declaring you guys the winners.
Mia threw her arms around your shoulders in a tight hug. "Let's go!" she squealed,
You flipped off your opponents. "Suck it, bitches!"
"Oh, real classy!" Nick scoffed, taking a sip of his drink. He reached into the cup, pulled out the ball, and threw it at you. It lamely brushed against your side before falling to the ground, rolling off somewhere.
"I declare a rematch!" Vada yelled. "A rematch is being declared!"
Mia pulled away from you. "Nuh-uh! You guys lost fair and square." She pointed down to the cups that were still on the table--the almost full triangle that Nick and Vada had been unable to get rid of. "It's not our fault you guys suck!"
"Yeah! Losers!" you shouted, joining in on the teasing. "Maybe you guys should actually try to be good at the game. That might help."
Vada frowned, her eyebrows furrowing a little, and you wanted to kiss away the wrinkle that formed between them. "You guys are sore winners."
You grinned, crossing the length of the table to take her in your arms. "Aw, don't be so upset, baby," you cooed, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. "S'not our faults you're bad at pong."
She groaned. "I think you cheated. There's literally no other explanation, because Nick and I are beasts at pong. We are the unbeatable pair. We never lose, so you must have cheated. Maybe you rigged the ball, or maybe--"
"Or maybe I'm just good at this game?" you interrupted, raising an eyebrow.
"No, no. That can't be it."
You giggled, pulling back from your girlfriend. She didn't let you get far, her own arms snaking around your waist and tugging you back toward her.
"Thought you wanted a rematch?"
Vada shrugged. "That can wait," she said shortly, her eyes flitting down to your lips. She leaned up and kissed you, deep enough that you could taste the vodka on her breath. You hummed against her, a thought sparking in your alcohol-hazed mind.
"I need another drink," you murmured when she pulled away. When she frowned, you asked, "Do you want to come with me?"
"The kitchen is so far, though," she whined, stomping her feet a little like a child, and you chuckled, glancing behind you; the two of you were, maybe, ten steps away from where all of the liquor was.
"Ever the drama queen, Vads," you said. You untangled yourself from her, taking one of her hands loosely in your fingers. "But I need a drink."
She grumbled in defeat but nodded her head. "I'll wait here 'til you return from your journey."
You shook her head, a soft smile on your lips. "I'll be two minutes." You kissed her again and ventured off to the kitchen, your eyes trained on the tequila that Mia had generously bought for the party.
You grabbed a new cup, poured a healthy amount of tequila into it, and topped it off with the nearest mixer you could find--fruit punch. It was a strange combination, but you decided that it wasn't entirely unwelcome when you tasted the drink.
Spinning on your heel, your mind was fully set on finding Vada again and maybe pulling her into the living room, where all of the furniture had been pushed against the walls to create a dance floor. However, you barely got a step in before you immediately collided with another person, your drink spilling down your front.
"Oh, shit!" the person cursed. "Sorry, dude."
You glanced up, catching sight of Kayden, the self-anointed stoner of your grade and...your ex-boyfriend. He was grinning down at you, pearly-whites on display, and you smiled back, glad for once that you two had ended on good terms, or else the interaction would've been more than awkward.
"S'all good, Kayd," you said, bringing up a hand and swatting at any of the extra liquid that hadn't seeped into your shirt yet. Luckily, you had chosen to wear black, so you could barely see the spill. Unluckily, the top didn't cover much, which meant most of your drink landed on bare skin. "Although I am a little sticky now."
"C'mon." He grabbed your wrist. "Lemme help with that." He tugged you toward the sink, and you followed with a shrug, ignoring the neon-red, flashing sign in your head that screamed Don't!
You squeezed past people until you made it to the sink. Kayden already had it turned on, and there was a paper towel in his hand that he ran beneath the water until it was soaked. He whirled around, immediately pressing the paper towel to your stomach. You squealed at the coldness of it, a shiver running down your spine.
"Fuck," you whined. "You couldn't have used warm water?"
He chuckled. "Sorry, man," he drawled. "Too late for that."
You rolled your eyes. "Yeah, no shit. Gimme that." You took the paper towel from his hand to wipe yourself off, but the damage was already done.
"Y/N." Her voice was loud, her tone short. You whipped around, your eyes wide as they landed on a pissed-looking Vada. She stood a few feet away, her arms crossed over her chest and her lips pulled into a deep frown. "What the fuck?" she seethed.
You ignored the voice in your head that was telling you she looked hot, hot, hot all mad like that, and the stirring in your lower belly, and focused on trying to save yourself. "Vads, baby, it's not--"
She lunged forward and grabbed your forearm, the paper towel slipping from your grasp and landing on the floor. Without a second word, she was yanking you through the party. You passed by your friends--Mia with a smirk on her face and Nick with his eyebrows furrowed--and offered them a shrug, just as confused as Nick seemed.
Your confusion only grew as you were tugged out the front door, down the porch steps, through the maze of cars in the driveway, and out the gate.
"Vada, where--"
Things started to click when your own car loomed in the distance. The two of you were approaching the vehicle quickly, and you fumbled around in your pocket for your keys. When you found them, you pushed the button to unlock the doors, perfectly timing it as Vada pulled on the handle and all but threw you into the backseat. It never failed to surprise you whenever she showed how strong she really was.
She climbed in after you, slammed the door shut, and then her lips were on yours, feverish and hot and mad. You moaned against her, trying to push yourself to sit up, but she didn't let you, one hand pressing down on your hip while the other was holding herself up.
She pulled away for the smallest second, and in the light of the streetlamp, you could see that her eyes were half-lidded, dark, and angry. Her head dipped down to your jaw, planting open-mouthed kisses along your skin, before dropping to your neck, teeth nipping and tongue soothing the bites.
"Vads," you breathed out, your hips bucking up.
"You're mine," she gritted into your neck, her leg coming up and pressing against your center.
You groaned, rolling your hips into her thigh and whining at the little contact you got. "Vads, baby, please."
Her hand flew down, fumbling with the button of your pants, and you giggled a little at her ineptness. She glared at you, all signs of possessiveness diminished. "A little help here?"
"Sure, sweetheart." You reached down, knocking her hand to the side, and undid your own pants. Almost as soon as you were done, Vada's hand was pushing yours out of the way so that she could pull your pants down your thighs and slip beneath your underwear, and you whimpered at the feeling of her brushing through your folds.
"Fuck, you're wet," she groaned, two fingers slipping into you easily as her thumb ran over your clit in tight circles.
You sighed at the feeling, hips careening upward as she curled her fingers. "Always for you, baby."
She nipped at your neck again and then pulled her head up, staring down at you. That dark look was back, the kind that made your knees buckle and had you knowing that Vada would have you seeing stars.
"For me? Yeah? Or for Kayden." There was venom in her voice when she said his name, and she thrusted into you harder, a moan slipping past your lips at the pressure.
"You, Vads." You gasped as her fingers curled into the rough spot in you. "Just--just you."
Her pace quickened, her fingers dragging against your walls and her thumb never ceasing on your clit. Your orgasm was fast approaching, urged on by Vada kissing your chest, your neck, your lips--anything she could reach.
"Fuck," you whimpered. "I'm gonna cum." At your words, Vada swiftly pulled out, and you were left a whining mess beneath her. "Vada!" you cried. "I was so close!"
She didn't spare you a second glance as her hand rushed down to her basketball shorts, pushing them down her legs. You furrowed your eyebrows.
"Yeah, I don't think we have room for scissori--" You were cut short by the feel of silicone pressing against your thigh, and you gulped. "You wore--"
"Was hoping the night would end like this," Vada confessed. "Well, not exactly like this. I didn't wanna see your ex trying to clean you off, or whatever the fuck that was, and I was kinda hoping we would be in a bed and not the backseat of your car, but--"
You rolled your eyes, reaching down and tugging on the fake cock between her legs. She gasped and her hips pushed forward, knocking the head of the toy against your folds. "You gonna ramble or are you gonna fuck me?" you teased, grinning at the furrow of her brows.
"Fuck you," she spat, and you were about to repeat the words right back to her when she sank in, pushing the air straight from your lungs and pulling a high-pitched moan from your lips. "Not so bratty now, huh?"
She drove her hips forward, forcing you to take the entire length. You squealed, pleasure rushing through every vein. Your hands shot up and wrapped around her back, nails digging into her t-shirt. She didn't give you a moment to adjust as she pulled out before pushing right back in, setting a brutal pace.
"Jesus, fuck," you groaned, throwing your head back. "It--You feel so good."
She leaned down, her full body weight on you as she fucked into you, lips pressed against your ear. "Can Kayden fuck you like this?" she grunted, her hips speeding up as she said his name.
You could barely hear her over the feeling of her cock in you, drowning out all of your thoughts as she thrusted harder, faster. Vada pulled back, sat up on her knees, and pushed your thighs up, making her go deeper. You gasped, whined, reached to bring her back to you, but she stayed up, pounding harder.
"I said, can Kayden fuck you like this?" she repeated between groans.
"No," you breathed out. "Just you, Vads."
She smirked, cocky, victorious. "God, you're such a good girl." The praise nearly had you falling off the edge, orgasm just out of reach. "My good girl. Takin' my cock so good."
"Fuck, baby. Gonna cum. So close," you babbled.
Her hips started to stutter, letting you know that she was right there with you. She reached down, thumb circling your clit, and you came with a low groan, the sound scratching itself out of your throat.
Vada kept pumping with half-assed thrusts, and you clenched around her, sensitive. "I'm right there," she grunted. She dropped your legs and all but fell onto you. "Fuck, fuck, gonna--"
She moaned into your ear as her orgasm hit, her hips finally slowing. You shuddered beneath her, walls fluttering around the cock still buried in you.
"Jesus, baby," you panted. "Guess I gotta talk to Kayden more often at parties."
She pushed herself up, glaring at you. "Don't even." She slipped out of you, and you shivered, watching as she pulled her shorts up. "Gonna have to wash these shorts when we get home."
You nodded, pulling her back on top of you even though you were hot and sweaty and still a little sticky from your drink. "Gonna have to wash myself when we get home."
Vada grinned against your neck. "I can help you with that."
bonus: "where do you think they're going?" nick asked as he watched vada drag you out the front door.
"i don't think we want to know," mia said.
"should we go after them?"
"definitely not."
#vada cavell x reader#vada cavell#vada x reader#jenna ortega x reader#jenna ortega#jenna x reader#the fallout
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Like Idiots.
includes— hawks x reader. fluff. minors dni.
warnings— gn!reader. pining like idiots. keigo is a pain in the ass. the reader is worse. i had fun with this. <3
There is zero need for Keigo to make a confession when it comes to his crush. It would be entirely redundant to confess.
Your sigh at the thought is palpable. It really is quite a shame.
Part of you yearns for that passionate drama of an ending, where in some novela-inspired twist of fate, your adoring knight is forced to spill his love at your feet. In your daydreams— the ones dreadfully reminiscent of some lovelorn teenager's— a faceless villain from fuck-all-nowhere nearly ends the life of his beloved hero partner.
And the words spill from his throat like his lovesick sobs, clutching you close to his chest while you do your best to pretend you're not biting back a smile at the attention.
"I love you! I've always loved you," he'd cry.
Or something like that.
And you'd kiss, and sparks would fly, or whatever.
End scene.
You're not getting that confession, though.
It figures your love life would turn out to be a comedy. Par for the course of your life, you suppose.
Instead of a scrawled letter sealed with wax or a poem whispered under the imposing moonlight, your confession is written all over Keigo's face— well, not all over, exactly. Every centimeter of his face conceals his emotions meticulously, flawlessly.
Every portion of his face is perfectly practiced and impeccably controlled; except for two measly little points.
You prod at your food again with your fork in hand, all frowns as you sit across from your work partner in a booth at the diner he likes to drag you to on your lunch breaks.
And you stare uncomfortably into the most cartoonishly blown pupils you've ever seen.
"Um. Hawks?"
"Yeah? What's up, chickadee," he asks sincerely before chomping down messily on a battered chicken drum, moaning and letting his eyes fall shut as he does with every meal— typically an obstacle for your focus, this accidentally whorish display is actually a welcome reprieve from your racing thoughts.
When his eyes flutter open once more, you're faced once again with black saucers and the sound of reckless chewing. His pupils are still dilated like a cat tripping balls on the dealer's finest catnip.
"Hawks, I really think I should tell you that—"
Your intervention is rudely interrupted by a waitress in a 50's style apron and folded paper hat combo, likely rushing over notepad in hand to get first dibs on serving a celebrity.
You would prefer to be unfair. It'd be easier to displace your frustration for your lot in life onto this poor woman, to tell her that her hat looks stupid and pink isn't her color, that she should really just stop trying.
You decide to be an adult.
Keigo, on the other hand, does not. Like a child given free reign to order for himself at a restaurant for the first time, he explains that she should really heap on the sugar for his coffee.
"No, no, no. More than that. Like syrup. I want it to taste like it's gonna put me in an early grave and— wait, where are you going?"
The debacle brings to attention another phenomenon that you've grown accustomed to seeing:
The second his gaze meets her's, Keigo's pupils shrink to points once more, constricting to tight dots before bouncing back to their natural size. And predictably, once again, they expand like blown glass when you catch his attention.
"Hawks!"
"Yeah, what?"
His chewing ceases obnoxiously, chicken drum in his right hand and half-chewed remains in his left cheek.
You might as well rip it off like a bandaid. You let out a puff of air.
"Your eyes," you attempt to gently point out.
"Mm?" Keigo's head tilts to the side, pondering your observation for a moment.
"My eyes? Ohh," he drags his words as if in realization, treating himself to another chomp into the drumstick. "You gettin' lost in them, huh? Happens, dove. You can stare, I don't mind."
"No!" You squeak out your denial before smoothing down your shirt and tipping your chin high.
You have the upper hand here. Remember that.
"I mean," you correct your course, staring down and poking at your plate while a smile creeps up your lips. "It's kinda hard not to when your pupils look like they're gonna swallow your goddamn irises."
The silence that follows is deafening.
"Kei'?" You flick your gaze up toward him, worried now.
Under normal circumstances, it's an established habit for Keigo to slot one palm over his mouth when called out.
But this time, that hand bypasses his lips, crawling upward to reach his visor and wordlessly drag it down over the source of his shame.
A stronger person than you would hold back their laughter. They would take pity on the flush rising over his cheeks and neck like sunsets. Perhaps they would coo praises to soothe him, or even take it all back to ease the shame and discomfort that makes him feel utterly naked.
They would take pity on the man who, under the fluorescent high beams bolted to the diner's ceiling, looks just like a clown tripping on stage with the spotlight shined on his face.
You are not a strong person.
In your hysterics, you reach over to pry the barrier off his eyes, climbing into his lap and over him like tussling teenagers.
"Keigo, I didn't say it was a bad thing—"
"You're laughing," he laments like a kicked puppy, prying your face an arm's length from his with a single palm.
It's over. This is it for him. His life is over, he's going to have to change his identity.
He can start fresh with a new hero name, one not centered around red-tailed hawks— he'll need to rebrand as another bird, most likely. Preferably one with the same signature red feathers so as not to make a fuss for the merch department.
Maybe a parrot.
Winged-Hero Parrots.
"You're laughing at me!"
"I'm not laughing at—" another uncontrollable wheeze. His wings flap in indignance once, slamming against the cushions of the pink diner seat before drooping down like a dog's tail between its legs. You pluck the visor and raise it above your head out of arm's reach, one hand planted against his chest for stability.
"Not laughing at you! Baby, I promise—"
"Baby?" He repeats.
The silence is worse the second time around— but luckily for you, Keigo is a stronger person than you are. No laughter erupts from his chest, no smirk settles on his face.
If anything, your slip up seems to elevate his heart rate more than yours.
"We really should—"
"I think we need to—"
Both sentences collide in the small space between you, his lips completely still and mere inches away from yours.
You're reminded of the feeling of your fingertips about to touch metal after being charged with static, the skin crackling with the air's tension as you contemplate whether to just get it over with and touch.
And slowly, as if suddenly cognizant of your bodies and environment, you both crawl off each other and scoot toward the furthest edges of the booth seat.
Your knees make their way toward your chest for comfort, while Keigo's wings drape over his shoulders like a cocoon.
"We should talk."
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despite some concerns raised by the trailer/marketing, i am still excited for the wish movie. a lot of that has to do with king magnifico.
that being said, i approach it from a different direction than a lot of other people excited for a “classic disney villain.”
first of all, yes. i, too, love the camp and melodrama of classic disney villains. i love that they express their wishes through big bombastic musical numbers, and said musical numbers are often the best in their movies. i like how queer-coded and fun they often are. i like the sass, the drama, the energy.
where i disagree with a lot of people is with this notion that disney movies “don’t have villains” anymore. i don’t think the likes of hans (frozen) and tamatoa (moana) are less evil than "classic" villains - they’re plenty willing to kill with a smile on their face.
i think what people ACTUALLY miss is the big performance around it all. the aesthetic. someone who does these things while being a major character (so not tamatoa) and deliciously, obviously evil while having fun with it the whole time (so not hans). i think it’s that specific combination people are missing. we still have villains, they’re just either not as “fun” or not as “important.”
of course, that take is less punchy than saying disney doesn’t have villains because "steven cringeyverse destroyed western animation and now companies are too scared to make real villains >:( !1!!!"
yeah i never understood where that came from. if anything, redeeming villains is more controversial than killing them. especially in america, being punitive is the norm. forgiveness is cringe. yet so many act as if there was some big consumer and/or corporate pushback against the idea of villains…? at some point?? i guess????
someone must've forgotten to tell that to disney tv animation, where you’ll find everything from bill cipher to belos in the modern era. (also, other companies exist? dreamworks is not some indie studio, they’re fully willing to have big, campy villains.)
but yknow, people like to feel like underdogs. they like to feel like they're somehow oppressed because some animated media don't have classic villains anymore... despite there still being plenty around. you can’t just like villains, you have to make it everyone else’s problem. like disney is obliged to do the same character tropes in every movie. or villains are "dead."
what actually happened is just… some writers at disney decided they wanted to do different things. that’s it. so you now have a handful of movies where the villain is either a minor character, or nonexistent.
it’s not a conspiracy, it’s not a concerted effort to destroy villains. it’s, at most, a trend. because some writers wanted to push against the previous status quo. and now other writers who grew up with that want to have more classic villains, because that’s what they see as exciting and new. it’s just a cycle of trends and countertrends.
anyway. long tangent aside, i’m actually very excited for king magnifico. in part for a classic villain performance (he gets a song!!) - but also, it sounds like he might scratch a particular itch of mine.
which is to have a big, dramatic, irredeemable villain… who is still a human and has an understandable pov.
yes, you can combine these things. it’s not common for disney, but a lot of what we consider “great movie villains” throughout history have been this exact combination. they have to be defeated, they refuse redemption, they are 100% committed to their goals and will not budge - but they also GENUINELY BELIEVE in those goals.
what i’m really asking for here is a sincerely motivated character. someone who is a villain, but doesn’t SEE himself as a villain. someone who isn’t lying when they try to endear themselves to the hero or promise to make the world better if they join forces. it’s just that they are completely misguided about what would be good for the world, and nothing will persuade them.
whether someone is a villain, a hero, or anywhere in between, i think asking a character’s motivation - and playing those motivations straight, rather than just as a mask for plain selfishness - is key.
as i’m saying this, you might notice that it’s not actually too far off from what i like in other characters. jasper in SU is basically this in her "main arc” in season three. she refuses help, she’s a huge dick to everyone… but she also 100% believes in homeworld as an institution and is actually, genuinely selfless. even if it means her own corruption, she refuses help, because that would betray her cause. which she values above her own life. and by rebecca sugar’s own words, jasper doesn’t even believe she deserves help.
the common thread here is really tragedy. someone you can root for and against at the same time.
so how does this relate to king magnifico? well, jennifer lee (writer for this movie & also the frozen movies) just had an interview where she talked a lot about wish, and in specific, having a classic disney villain in magnifico.
she illustrates a lot of what i’ve been talking about - that there is no grand conspiracy at disney against villains. they just had different stories they wanted to tell. there was no mandate either for or against villains, not in this movie or any other. they just did what they wanted to do with those stories. (btw, that’s not me saying there isn’t pressure at disney to tell certain stories and not others. it’s just that the concept of a villain isn’t as important to the corporate side as, say, not making elsa gay.)
anyway. what makes the king magnifico portion interesting is how lee talks about exactly what i’ve been saying. they knew they wanted a classic disney villain, but it sounds like they still want him to be different from other such characters. namely, they wanted to find the benevolent side of him, how he genuinely believes what he believes and DOES want what he thinks is best for the city of rosas.
and the plot totally checks out - basically, he decides whose wishes come true. and that’s really interesting, because a wish can be anything, good or bad. it sounds like he really wants to prevent what he sees as bad wishes from coming true, and is too conservative in what he allows or not. and his way of being kind about rejection is to remove those wishes from people’s hearts if he cannot fulfill them.
that’s SUCH a great concept for a villain. it speaks to issues of control, of agency, of being in the paternalistic position of deciding what is “best” for everyone else. it gives me a little bit the wizard of oz (as in the wizard himself, who is a charlatan trying to maintain a pleasant status quo, even if it’s a lie), and a little bit white diamond (controlling the lives of others, but genuinely believing you are being selfless and heroic about it / steering people on the “right” path).
reading that interview, my excitement for this movie went from like a 2/10 to a 8/10. jennifer lee seems to have a real interest in creating characters, not just stock tropes. elsa is one of the best disney princesses (fight me) for exactly the same reason.
another great concept talked about here (which you also see in lee’s frozen, with anna and elsa as opposites) is that of duality. there’s a lot of talk about magnifico and asha being two sides of the same coin, both initially believing in this system and wanting what’s best for the city. and from there, they divert to their opposite paths in what specifically they think is right. the interview talks about them as if they were this thesis and antithesis about what’s right for the city, needing to reach a synthesis. in talking about this concept, they included this illustration:
notice the similar poses. both have their hands behind their back (commonly used to convey a character is hiding something), their feet pointed out, and give the world a pleasant smile. asha has a darker color palette in a world of light, magnifico is a ray of light in a dark space. it's interesting for its duality.
so yeah. all in all, i’m still excited for wish. i want to take alan tudyk goat out back and shoot it for a quick, humane death… but failing that, i’ll just pray his role was hammed up for the trailer. please tell me it’s not that insufferable. please.
because i do really like everything else i’ve heard about this movie!! i like that asha is described as this idealist with “dumb courage”, like maybe she’ll actually have some character flaws and need to learn?? (maybe? hopefully?) i like everything i just said about king magnifico. i like that we have this blend of 2d and 3d animation, that’s such a clever concept for a “100 years of disney” celebration.
so yeah. i will be watching. never have i ever prayed for chris pine to save a movie, but today might just be the day!
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caught in his web ; choi yeonjun ch. 2 | THREE'S A CROWD!
pairings — yeonjun x afab reader
genre — smut (lots of it so minors dni please), fluff, angst, college!au, friends to lovers, drama
word count (for this chapter) — ~2.8k
summary — You thought you’d be immune to Choi Yeonjun's charms, turns out you were completely, utterly, shamefully wrong.
And what’s worse? He’s your new best friend's boyfriend.
Wanna hear something even worse than that? His dad and your mom are dating.
MOA University: An educational institution created for the 1%. The elite of the elites. Those who are to inherit large multinational companies, take oath in office, and represent Korea's future in business and politics. This is where it begins.
warnings — almost-stepbro!yeonjun but not really since your parents are in the early stages of dating, kinda slow burn yes, black haired!yeonjun, bad boy yeonjun, all of you are trust fund babies, all the tubatu's make a cameo and are in the same friend group, might reference some other 4th gen idols, alcohol, drinking, drunken mishaps, lots of sex, profanity - lots of it, yeonjun is a menace but he's so cute wtf i'm screaming, jealousy, making out etc. minors dni istg! i'm watching y'all..
A/N: well, i'm back. i gave a little update here if anyone wants to read it ! as always, reblogs / comments are WELCOME! pls also watch this space for an enha socmed au soon !
taglist (hope you guys don't mind me tagging you all months later hehe, ALSO let me know if you wanna be included in the taglist!) : @soobadooba , @flowerbe0m , @lix-stray , @beomtese , @yxnjvnnie , @healingpage , @hihello-pinky , @kazscara , @bibibun , @txtistheloml , @jungwonismybias, @boba-beom
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"HE DID WHAT?!"
Your voice echoes through the car, as you cast a glare over to your best friend who was seated beside you.
"Yeonjun invited himself, I told him you and I were going to watch a movie and he said he wanted to come," Chaewon replies, unfazed by the fact that you just shouted at her at the back of the limousine you two were riding.
"But you know Friday night movie night is our thing.. Why did he have to come?" Okay, so maybe there were a lot of reasons why you were so against this whole arrangement.
One, it's the only time you and Chaewon actually bond apart from the time you spend in school. Two, Yeonjun's been shady ever since that dinner with his dad and your mom and THREE, and the most important one, was that you haven't had the heart to face him after the night he took care of you when you got drunk out of your mind.
If you were going to be honest, you're still not even all too sure if that was all a dream or not. Yeonjun never said a word to you after, it was as if nothing happened, really. So one can't blame you for second-guessing if the events were real or not.
"I couldn't say no to that face, y/n.. So I just let him tag along. And come on, he's practically your brother already."
You scowl, "I have no such thing. As far as I know, I'm an only child."
Chaewon rolls her eyes at your response, "Tsk, come on, we're here. I think Jjunie already bought our tickets."
Taking heavy strides toward the concession booth of the cinema where the male waited for you both, you and him exchange glances and you feel your breath hitch in your throat when he gives you his signature grin.
"Babe!" Chaewon happily greets him, running towards him and enveloping him in a tight hug- to which he returns. His eyes shifted over to you once again though as you stood behind, and your gazes lock even as he was hugging her.
It looked like he wanted to say something to you, but before he was even able to say anything, you break contact first.
"I'm gonna go get some popcorn.." You say, turning away as fast as you could.
————- ★ -———— . ————- ★ -———
With reasons unknown to you, Yeonjun insisted he sat between the both of you during the movie. You didn't agree at first, because why?
But Chaewon was all for it.
"You two need to start becoming close if you're going to be a one big happy family in the future!" She persisted, and there was nothing else you could do.
You were sitting there quietly with your eyes focused on the big screen ahead. Lowkey, you were hoping that your best friend and her beau would end up just making out beside you so you could watch the movie in peace.
But lo and behold, the boy had other plans.
As you were watching, you felt a few pieces of popcorn flicked onto your right cheek. At first, you tried ignoring it, knowing all too well that Yeonjun never really wanted to watch the chick flick in the first place, and has now shifted his attention over to you for his own entertainment.
“Stop..” You say, turning your attention to him with a piercing glare.
Yeonjun shook his head, this time taking three pieces altogether with that damned smug look, and threatened to throw it at you.
But you do the same and flick it his way first.
“y/n! No fair!” He said in a childish tone that you've never heard before, he was always acting all high and mighty and cool back at school, so that was quite refreshing to hear.
Soon, you find yourselves in a small popcorn fight, that was, until Chaewon gets hit by one of the stray popcorns, “Hey, you two, stop acting like five-year-olds... I don’t want to get thrown out of here.” She scolded you suddenly, causing you both to halt.
You end up giggling each time you look at each other all throughout the movie.
It was quite odd, to say the very least.
Chaewon was right, you were acting like a couple of grade schoolers.
But on the other hand, you’ve never shared a moment quite like that with Yeonjun, and it was actually really cool to see another side to him - the childish, innocent side.
He was still young after al l- but sometimes one tends to forget that, especially knowing that he’s the inheritor of one of the biggest businesses in Asia and probably the most sought-after guy in school, even though he was just but a Freshman.
With all the attention he has around him, it’s easy to forget that he’s also human.
————- ★ -———— . ————- ★ -————
The movie ended rather pleasantly, and if going with your Friday night plans, you and Chaewon would usually have dinner in our favorite sushi place.
But as per tonight’s events, Yeonjun will be joining.
After that small moment you had in the theaters, now you can say that you're a lot more at ease with him, and so you weren't all too against it.
Not that he’d ever hear you say that, though.
When the three of you finally managed to situate yourselves in the private VIP room of the restaurant, you were greeted by another well-known face.
“What are you doing here?” You hear Yeonjun say as you enter, making you look up from whatever it was that caught your attention on your phone.
“Chae invited me, hope you guys don’t mind.”
“Ah! Soobin!” You exclaimed as you walked over to give him a hug, “Really? You’ll be joining us? Yay!”
“Mhm,” Your best friend affirmed, “I thought you’d be the odd one out y/n, so I just invited Soobin, you know, to make it a double date of sorts.” She said as you all took your seats with the boys sitting right across the both of you.
All throughout the meal, Yeonjun was a lot quieter than usual. Which came across as something out of the ordinary to you.
You didn’t know if there was something he didn’t like about the food, or that he had expected to be the only guy around, all you know is that he would only be on his phone or giving Chaewon nonchalant responses whenever she attempted to talk to him.
You on the other hand, tried to enjoy it as much as I could, as it was always enjoyable to have someone like Soobin around.
It was yet another surprise. You weren't expecting that kind of a mood swing. Because for one reason or another, you’ve always seen Yeonjun as someone who was made off of the vine of perfection, always seemingly social and, well - charming.
Not that you acknowledge his charms yourself (or more so, you refuse to), but judging from how people viewed him in school, it was safe to assume that he was someone that could be equated to Adonis or some Greek god- in all aspects.
————- ★ -———— . ————- ★ -————
Finally, the meal ended and you all went your separate ways. Soobin insisted he’d drive you home though, and you couldn’t resist.
“Here, let me strap you in.” Soobin said gently as you sat in the passenger seat of his Audi. He then reached over you and pulled at the belt, making sure it was secure around your torso area, flashing his signature, cheeky grin over to you after.
You couldn’t deny that a gesture such as that would cause your heart to flutter- you don’t think anyone could resist feeling that way anyway. All you could do was mutter out a shy thank you, and soon you were off on our way home.
“Soobin? Can I ask you something?”
“Hm, sure y/n.. Anything.”
You paused, sucking your lower lip in as you hesitated a few times if it was right to ask him or not.
Nevertheless, you went through with it anyway. “Seeing as Yeonjun and I are technically, I don’t know, family?.. Now..” You still couldn’t bring yourself to say those words, but you just pulled through it. “I want to know more things about him.. Like, some things he won’t normally show. I feel like he’s always putting up that bad-boy front. But, I see right through it though.”
Soobin let out a throaty laugh, his gaze plastered onto the road ahead as he nodded. “You’re a very smart girl, y/n.” He said, “Right, it is a front. I’ve known the guy since we were kids and so.. I can tell you, he’s been through a lot in his life.”
A small gasp was what came out of your mouth, “Really? Him? I’d think he’s been going through his life with no problems whatsoever.”
“Of course not,” He interjected, “Well, you see. His mom died giving birth to him. And from then on.. His dad’s always been hard on him. I mean, if that happened to you, you can’t help but blame yourself right?”
You could only nod along with him then, “So yeah, his dad always gives him crap about how he’s never going to be good enough to inherit the Choi business. That’s why, if you ask me, he tries to put up a strong front... But at the end of the day, he’s a guy that’s been scrutinized ever since he was born. I don’t think he ever had a conventional childhood, you know? I think it’s why he acts up now.”
There were so many things he was bringing to light at the moment, and you swore you could hear the wheels turning in your head- as if putting pieces together. “I see… He has it rough, when you put it that way I guess.”
“Mhm, and if you ask me? Chae… She’s good for him. I think Chae has a grasp of the pressure that kind of life brings, those two are alike in so many ways. Not like we’re not- but what they have on their plates, are much bigger than what you and I have.”
That’s true. A match made in heaven. You clenched your jaw, “Mm.. I agree.”
There was a short pause, but soon after, the car smoothly turned right and headed straight to the big gates that were guarding the your family's mansion.
“Nice place.. I don’t think I’ve ever been here before. Yours is almost as big as Chae’s house huh?”
You smiled a little, “Yeah I guess.. My grandparents bought a lot of properties before in the 70’s and they gave my mom this whole stretch of land.. The whole house was made from the ground up. Pretty cool, yeah?”
“Hell yeah,” He said, cutting off the engine once you were parked. “It’s a pretty huuuge place for just two ladies to live in.”
You offer another calm grin, “Thanks for driving me home. I’ll see you in school on Monday, yes?”
“Definitely, beautiful.” He said, and right on cue, you lean in to place a kiss on his cheek before exiting the vehicle, leaving him with a huge smile on his face.
————- ★ -———— . ————- ★ -————
The blinding rays of the sun greeted you that morning. You stretched your limbs out over your head and yawned, and went by your usual routine of brushing your teeth as well as washing your bare face.
As soon as you stepped out of your room, you heard a lot of random noises coming from outside. You were just in a satin slip nightwear, not really expecting much from that weekend morning - except probably breakfast with your mother out by the gazebo area and some Saturday morning cartoons.
Walking down the hall, you suddenly noticed from the other end of the hallway, that one of the primary bedrooms was open.
Your home had three floors, and the last time you checked, you were the only one occupying the upper floor.
Your curiosity was piqued of course, and you found yourself skipping down the hallway and peeking in at the other bedroom.
Imagine your surprise when you see Yeonjun standing on one side of the room, putting up some random posters. He was the last person you wanted to see at that point, but seeing him in a muscle tee with his broad shoulders in full display and his whole presence, in general, made your stomach churn in ways you could not pinpoint.
Someone pinch me I must be dreaming.
You let out a loud gasp of course at the initial shock, and clumsily fell back on your butt onto the carpeted floor as soon as he turned around and saw you.
“CHOI YEONJUN!!” You exclaimed and propped up on your elbows just to verify if you were seeing correctly, your voice loud enough that probably the whole house to hear you, “WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING HERE?!” You asked in an accusing tone, forgetting the fact that you were still on the floor.
He let out a melodic laugh, walking over to help you up. He didn’t say anything just yet as you stood to your feet.
Instead, his eyes did the talking, scanning you over from head to toe with a subtle grin playing on his lips.
Suddenly, you felt exposed- as you remembered you were only in your nighties.
“Y-yah..” You said, placing your arms over your chest and crossing them there. Your back hunched as well while your eyes threw him a glare. “Talk.”
Yeonjun reached back and rubbed his nape with his hand, “Ah, well, I guess your mom wanted to surprise you but uh - dad and I.. We - she asked us to move in here.” That dumb sheepish smile evident throughout his explanation.
“SHE WHAT?!”
“You heard me..” He said, taking a step forward and closing in the gap between you two. That signature Choi Yeonjun lopsided grin still present, “I live here with you now.”
————- ★ -———— . ————- ★ -————
It took quite a while to get you to settle down after hearing Yeonjun’s words.
You sat there at the edge of his newly-installed king sized bed, arms still crossed over your chest as you were still trying to make sense of what is happening.
You pursed your lips in a tight line, throwing him another accusing glance as he stood in front of you, waiting for you to talk with a satisfied smile on his face. "So.." You start the ball rolling, "Explain to me, Choi Yeonjun..." You let out an exasperated huff, "Explain to me how someone like you, someone whose father owns most of the properties here in South Korea and everywhere all over the globe, decided to live here. Here. In my house?!" You practically squeak.
Yeonjun licked his lips, tracing his tongue over his pink bud while his gaze never left you, eyes still unabashedly roaming up and down, like he was about to devour you whole. "y/n, you don't know what you're fully capable of, do you?"
"I'm sorry, what?" You asked in a half-surprised, half-offended tone. At the time, you didn’t know what he was hinting at, and the fact that he was trying to divert the conversation irked you to no end.
"Aha nevermind.." He retorted, clearing his throat, "Anyway, it's simple really." Yeonjun said matter-of-factly, sitting beside you on the mattress. "Dad wanted to renovate our house and make it bigger... And since he and your mom are dating, she offered to let us stay here until the construction is over."
Okay great, this is temporary. You tell yourself, letting out a sigh of relief.
“And then afterwards, I heard your mom say she’ll think about a trial period wherein you two will live with us.”
You choke on pure air, “What?! What is this, an experiment? And isn’t this living situation already some type of trial period? Where’s mom.. I need a word with her. This is really taking it too far! She’s known your dad for what- two fucking months?!” You started rambling, standing up and pacing back and forth in front of the bed.
Suddenly, Yeonjun’s warm hands wrap around your exposed shoulders as he spins you around to face him. His palms radiated a kind of warmth that your skin welcomed, as you felt it tingle under his own flesh. You merely stare at him with a doe-eyed look, and he returned it with his calm gaze. “Your mom left for Italy, remember?”
He flicked your forehead, laughing. “Now just relax, y/n,” He cooed, “I’ll be out the whole weekend, I’m going on a trip with the guys to allow people to move my things in.. So, I’ll see you Monday then hm?”
And as quick as he left a peck on your forehead, he was gone in a flash- leaving you standing lifeless in the middle of the room.
#𓆩*𓆪 : series ; cihw#𓆩*𓆪: yeonjun#tomorrow x together#yeonjun#choi yeonjun#yeonjun smut#yeonjun x reader#kpop smut#kpop x reader#kpop imagines#yeonjun hard hours#txt hard thoughts#kpop x y/n#kpop x you#kpop boys#kpop bg#kpop scenarios#fanfic#fanfiction#enhypen au#enha x reader
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Cigarettes and Cliches (Part 7)
Pairing: Lee Felix x Reader
Word Count: 4.9k
Genre: Collage AU, Slow Burn Romance
Warnings: 18+, Minors DNI, swearing
He was the most impractical guy for you to be interested in the incredibly handsome cliché bad boy who collected girls like trophies. As hard as you wanted to stay away you couldn't even if it might cost you everything and leave you heartbroken you couldn't ignore him
There was no way you could ask for Innie's input on what to wear on your date, since you weren't even sure where you were going or what you would be doing and especially since he was not going to approve of you going on said date with Felix. Now would have been a good time to ask Nali's opinion or advice if she hadn't turned out to be the worst friend you could have ever made. So your next logical idea was to go through your socials to see what other girls wore on their dates with their boyfriends to give you an idea of what you should look like or how much effort you needed to put in without overdoing it.
You went to sit in the lounge so that you didn't look like you were hiding yourself away as Jeongin eventually surfaced from his room looking sheepish and he and Seungmin started planning their night out.
"Did you want to come with us again tonight? We will make sure one of us will be with you all the time" Jeongin asked, still looking dusty from the night before.
"No I think one party everyday is a little too much for me" you sighed looking at him "Maybe one next week".
"Ok we can live with a maybe for now" he grinned as Seungmin rolled his eyes as you phone beeped.
Ok how does a movie and a walk down by the river sound baby? You read the message twice before you slowly typed a reply so you didn't look too excited in front of Seungmin and Jeongin so you thought for a moment before sending it.
That sounds great Felix what time and where should I meet you?. Movies and walks were mostly casual so you didn't need to dress up and have too many questions asked about where you were going.
I'm going to pick you up baby, If the others have a problem with it they can just deal with it.
They can just deal with it, you read the words again and again before you realized that you should probably answer him so you quickly agreed and went back to thinking about what you would wear and what you would tell the boys when Felix showed up to take you out on a date out of the blue. Seungmin and Jeongin were still talking about the party when your brain tuned you back into the conversation.
"Next party we will need to dress you in less attractive clothing too to keep you a little more hidden from drunk idiots" Jeongin nodded seriously
"Or I could come and find one of you or the others to help me get a ride home, surely no one is going to bother me with one of you with me" you smiled unsure if that was the right response to keep them happy.
"Actually that would be better" Seungmin grinned "find either me or Innie or any of the others even if it's Felix or Hyunjin they will always try to keep you safe and will wait for you to get in a taxi or something before they go back to partying".
"So are we cooking before you go or ordering in?" you asked cheekily hoping you wouldn't need to cook before you go out.
"We were going to meet Han and Changbin for dinner before we hit the party so you can have whatever you like" Jeongin winked as though you would get up to all sorts of mischief being left alone to make your own dinner. You chuckled thinking that he had no idea what you were going to get up to once they left even though to be honest you were slightly nervous about that yourself if you were being honest.
You had picked out an outfit while you pretended you were cleaning up and Seungmin and Jeongin were getting ready so that they had no clue you were up to something. It made you feel like you were in a TV drama sneaking out of the house to meet the star crossed lover who would whisk you away to his castle as opposed to just meeting Felix but it made your heart race the same way his smile did. You were still lost in your head when you heard Seungmin calling your name loudly, shaking the romantic fantasizing from your mind, you opened your door confused as to why he was yelling.
"Sorry Seung, what's wrong?" you smiled tilting your head.
"You ok? you didn't answer when I called out to you" he furrowed his brow slightly scrutinizing you.
"I was in the bathroom" you lied instantly hoping he would drop it.
"Sorry" he scratched his head as he backed away from your bedroom door "we're going now just wanted to let you know"
"Well I will try to survive without you both" you teased smiling as he walked towards to door "don't bring any psychos home with you".
"Oh, fuck off" Seungmin grinned as Jeongin laughed from the hall before you heard them both putting on their shoes and the door opening and closing. You smiled to yourself suddenly feeling a weight fall away from your shoulders about how exactly you would have explained dating Felix to the pair of them so suddenly.
Getting yourself ready you sat fiddling with your jeans as you tried to distract yourself from your nerves but flicking TV channels and eventually settling on an episode of a drama that you couldn't pay attention to. After what felt like a lifetime the door buzzer rang sending a spike of nervous excitement straight through your heart as Felix appeared on the small screen looking as dangerously handsome as always. Pressing the buzzer to let him in you told yourself to not wait at the door for him to know instead bouncing on the balls of your feet at the opposite end of the hall staring at the door instead. When Felix did knock on the door your heart skipped a beat, his eyes soft as he stepped into the apartment cupping your jaw and kissing you softly.
"You look gorgeous baby" he smiled reaching for your hand to intertwine your fingers "are you ready to go?".
"Yes Lix" you smiled back feeling your cheeks heating up as he looked you up and down.
"Do you need to say goodbye or anything?" he whispered cheekily looking past you up the hallway.
"No the boy left early to meet the others" you grinned letting him lead you from the apartment and towards the elevator. You traveled down to the ground floor with Felix's arm wrapped around your waist holding you to his side gently which continued until you got down the several blocks it took to get to the movie complex only letting you go to buy your tickets and popcorn which he insisted on carrying until you were both seated in the back of the cinema.
"You know you didn't even tell me what we were seeing, Lix" you teased softly taking a few pieces of popcorn and popping one into your mouth.
"Well I remembered that you liked actions and thrillers but there aren't any good thrillers so it is going to be John Wick" he admitted the corners of his lips quirking up hen your mouth formed a silent o.
"You remembered that?" you whispered as the lights dimmed around you for the previews to begin.
"I try to remember everything you say" he admitted sultrily leaning in to whisper in your ear, the feeling of his breath on you skin making your skin erupt on a wave of goosebumps as he moved the armrest that sat between you and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.
You sat in silence for the film enjoying as much as you could of both what was happening on the screen and the warmth and feeling of Felix breathing beside you for the almost three hours it took for the movie to end. But even then you only managed to focus on half of the plot as you spent the other half having to focus on how to remain acting natural. Once the lights came back on and the credits rolled Felix his you with another one of his dazzling smiles.
"Do you still want to go for that walk by the river or would you like me to take you back home?" He asked genuinely, seeming happy to do either option depending on how comfortable you were.
"I think I would like to go for that walk Lix" you bit your lip slightly hoping that this was the answer he was wanting to hear.
"If my baby wants to go for a walk then we will go for a walk" he teased holding out his hand for you to take as he began leading you from the cinema. You noticed a few girls stare at Felix as you walked past them and back out onto the street their faces turning into a frown when they saw him holding your hand. He seemed oblivious but it dimmed your smile slightly. You knew they were wondering how someone like him could have any interest in someone like you and that hurt you a little but when Felix squeezed your hand gently as you began to walk towards the river you couldn't help the little flutter that erupted in your chest.
Walking hand in hand for the next few blocks that would take you to the riverfront you decided that making conversation would prevent you being too awkward about this being a first date with anyone let alone Felix.
"So what exactly did you plan on telling Seung and Innie when you picked me up tonight?" you asked bashfully looking up at him.
"Well" he paused for a moment still smiling "I was thinking that I was just going to say that I wanted to make sure you were alright after the party, but honestly I hadn't really thought about it" he admitted meeting your eyes briefly before looking ahead once more.
"Well at least you're honest" you sighed thankful that the boys had been out when you left the apartment.
"In truth I figured they would be in too much shock to actually say anything and that we would have escaped before they snapped out of it" he chuckled making you smile in relief.
"I mean they probably would have been shocked for ages that you wanted to take me on a date" you shrugged smirking at the thought of them standing in the hallway with their mouths agape
"And why wouldn't I want to take my smart and beautiful girlfriend on a date?" he teased nudging your shoulder playfully as you entered the park walking between the large gates that separated the gardened area from the street
"I didn't mean it like that Lix I meant they would have been shocked that I had a date" you back peddled quickly looking up at him with wide eyes "I didn't mean they would be shocked at you going on a date"
"I know baby I was teasing" he soothed pulling you closer to wrap his arm around your shoulders and you let the movement lull the conversation for a while
You had made sure you wore a light sweater so that you wouldn't be too cold on the waterfront and you were glad you had as the wind picked up to a chilly breeze as you walked together under the fairy lights that were strung through the trees on the riverwalk. You hadn't really checked the weather but you knew at this time of year the breeze was always cool at night obviously Felix hadn't either as you realized the clouds were gathering overhead much quicker than normal. Looking up at the sky frowning Felix muttered something under his breath before turning to you
"Looks like we're running out of time baby" he sighed wrinkling his nose slightly as you nodded feeling disappointed as the clouds had finally blocked out all of the stars.
"I guess we will save this for the next date?" you smiled softly which made his eyes light up.
"Yes we will absolutely save this for the next date or maybe the third date?" he smirked as you tried to hide your excited smile. Walking back towards the park gate you thought you felt the first spot of rain but you weren't sure, however, this changed when the skies suddenly opened up above you and rain began pouring down on you both.
"Fuck" Felix swore loudly tucking you into his side and wrapping his jacket around you as he guided you under a large tree "We can go back to my place its only a block from here and when it stops I'll get you a cab home". You looked at him blankly for a moment unsure of what to say to not sound like a fool or ungrateful.
"This isn't some kind of ploy I promise" he reassured you quickly noticing how your expression had changed "I just don't want either of us to catch a cold and it's quite a walk to your place from here and if we try to get a cab we will get even more drenched than walking to my place" he reasoned.
"It's ok Lix I know you won't do anything I don't want you to" you smiled gently your brain catching up with what he was saying.
"We can dry off there and wait out the rain and most of the way there is covered so we won't get too wet" he gestured to his already soaking wet hair.
"Lets go Lix, lead the way" you urged, letting him continue to hold you as close to you as he could to try to keep you dry and warm as the pair of you darted your way from cover to cover for the 5 minutes it took to get to his place. Quickly making your way through the lobby and into the elevator you were surprised when a doorman appeared as the door to the lift opened on the 15th floor who Felix waved at before leading you to his front door and letting you in helping you to slip off your shoes before going to find you some towels for your hair and clothes.
You had known that Felix, Hyunjin and Minho shared an apartment, Seungmin had mentioned it to you ages ago, but you didn't realize how nice of an apartment it would be. They lived in the river district that was considered one of the highest valued areas in the city and their apartment overlooked not only the river but parks that you had just been walking in. Standing on the tiles of the kitchen floor to avoid dripping water on the carpet you could see the lights of the city through the massive lounge room windows as you waited for Felix to return carrying towels and something that looked like clothing.
"I'll show you to the bathroom and you can change into these before we get your clothes in the dryer" Felix suggested handing you the pile of fabric and leading you into the bathroom while he cleaned up the drips on the tiled floor.
Closing the door behind you, you took in your surroundings. It was a much nicer bathroom than yours. The tile looked like actual marble and it was large enough to have an actual tub and a double sink. Slowly you put the towel down on the cabinet before you realized that Felix had given you a pile of his clothes, sweatpants, t shirt and the hoodie you had seen him in the morning you spoke to him in the gardens. Shaking the memory from your mind you peeled your wet sweater over your head grateful that you hadn't gotten soaked to the bone so at least your bra was still mostly dry, you wrapped your hair in the towel and squeezed as much water as you could from it before changing into the pants and t shirt before opening the door and finding Felix waiting for you his eyes glazing over slightly when he saw you.
"I'll just need you to put these in the machine hopefully they won't take too long to dry out" you smiled shyly holding up the towel and your sweater and jeans but Felix didn't react " Lix?" you asked, tilting your head to watch him and shaking your clothes in front of him.
"Sorry, just got a bit lost in how good you look in my shirt" he replied, clearing his throat slightly and reaching out to grab the wet items as your cheeks burned. "Did you want to hang in the lounge and watch another movie or get some food?" he continued his signature smile returning.
"Yeah sounds good" you nodded trying to play it cool and walking yourself into the lounge to wait for him to return. You sat on the large plush couch and began fiddling with the bottom of the shirt, the soft dark fabric making you feel incredibly comforted despite your awkwardness.
"Did you want me to order us any particular food?" Felix questioned as he walked back into the room as you realized for the first time that he too was in sweatpants and a white t shirt and looking like he should be in a magazine pictorial.
"Whatever you want Lix" you smiled as he sat down beside you "I'm not fussy". He chuckled softly in response and ordered you something quickly before throwing his arm around your shoulders and pulling you into him and causing you to yelp in surprise. The action seemed slightly less practiced to his usual moves, making you pause.
"Sorry baby" he laughed musically "just wanted you close to me" he grinned turning the TV on and selecting one of the streaming services they had to find something to watch. He settled on a drama that you hadn't seen but you didn't care you knew you were not going to be paying much attention to it anyway just like the movie from earlier in the evening.
"Lix?" you asked tentatively tilting your head back to lean against his chest and look at him studying his facial expression.
"Hmm" he hummed in response, his eyes on the screen in front of you.
"You know I don't think this is a ploy to get me to sleep with you right?" you almost mumbled feeling a little embarrassed that he still might think that after your hesitation earlier "So you don't need to be extra careful with me".
"You sure baby?" he smiled sweetly finally looking at you his eyes searching your own to be sure you meant what you said "I don't want to make you uncomfortable and also I've um... how do I actually put this?..." he trailed off his brown creasing slightly and making your anxiety spike "I've never brought anyone here before".
"I'm sorry what?" you almost spluttered your anxious feeling turning to confusion as to how one of the members of the man whore trio hadn't brought any women to his apartment before.
"Well this is where we live I always said I would only bring girls I was really serious about here" he admitted a pretty pink dusting of blush appearing on his freckled cheeks. Your heart was pounding so hard you were sure he would be able to hear it, trying to process that he insinuated that you were special to him and that you were the only one to be special to him in all his time sleeping around. All you could manage was to open your mouth to say something but nothing came out which Felix took as his moment to gently place his lips on yours kissing you sweetly his plush lips feeling perfect against your own. The moment however, was short lived as the door buzzer chimed to let you know that the food order had arrived. Untangling himself from you he went to collect the food from the lobby of the building leaving you to contemplate what he had just told you.
Felix had ordered from your favorite bakery and you were very happy to tuck into one of their chocolate filled croissants as he watched you smiling enjoying the look of bliss on your face. After eating and drinking everything he had ordered you found yourself still held captive by the sound of the rain still pattering against the large windows and it was well past midnight by this point which made you a little uneasy again.
"What's wrong baby?" Felix asked you tucking a piece of hair behind your ear, while you sat with your legs across his lap
"It's still raining" you sighed before looking at him and giving him a shy smile "do you think my clothes will be dry by now? I should probably get home"
"I'll check for you" he nodded, moving your legs carefully before making his way to the laundry room while you packed up the food containers and took them into the kitchen to sort.
"Fuck" you heard him curse loudly before you walked back around to the lounge to find him walking back in his hand running though his hair.
"What's happened?" you blinked unsure of what the problem was.
"I'm sorry baby, really I put your clothes in the dryer with mine and I didn't start the machine, I'm so sorry" Felix apologized quickly looking annoyed with himself "But I can get you home in my clothes or you could stay for a little while longer they should only take like an hour to dry"
"Lix I can't go home in your clothes if Seung or Innie see me I'll never be able to explain it" you sighed, worrying your lower lip nervously.
"Then stay here, we can watch another movie in my room so that if either of the guys come back they won't drunkenly annoy us or become a pair of menaces" he smiled tentatively a ghost of his smile gracing his lips.
"One more movie can't hurt Seung and Innie are probably both too smashed to even know I'm not home yet" you nodded making a smile bloom on Felix's face.
"Come on then, I'll put another action movie on as long as you let me cuddle you" he waggled his eyebrows suggestively at you making you giggle. Felix was being incredibly patient with you and you knew it but you appreciated that he wasn't going to push you into anything you weren't ready for so it was an easy decision to follow him to his room you trusted him.
You stood in his bedroom looking from the desk that you could tell was used purely for gaming judging from the custom keyboard and multiple monitors, to the stupidly large TV attached to the far wall, the shelves that contained random figures and gaming consoles and finally his bed which he was now sitting on looking at you curiously.
"Is this the first time you have had someone like me in your room?" you asked, feeling suddenly shy at the idea of being the first girl in this room.
"You mean are you the first girlfriend I've had in my bedroom?" he chuckled teasingly, you couldn't help but preen at the term girlfriend even though he had called you that before. "Yeah you are, first one in this room and first one in my bed" he smiled softly making you swallow loudly.
"So what did you want to watch?" you asked changing the subject as smoothly as you could not failing to notice the slight smirk gracing his lips as you made your way to sit next to him on the bed.
"I don't know I figured we could get comfy then decide" he shrugged pulling you further onto the bed and making you laugh. After a few awkward moments of figuring out where each of you would fit you settled on his left side sitting against the headboard leaning against him as he scrolled through some movies and randomly pressed play. The opening scene was a bank robbery with the villains in ski masks brandishing shot guns and police cars racing to the bank but you were already distracted by Felix drawing patterns on the inside of the wrist he was holding in his lap. The trace of his fingers sending small electric shocks through your skin and straight to your heart after a few minutes he lifted your hand to his lips kissing your wrist lightly and making you gasp.
"I know I said watch a movie but I would prefer to kiss you" he whispered "if that's ok". Instead of answering him you turned your head to face him almost brushing his lips with yours silently giving him permission.
"You're so beautiful" he murmured, closing the gap between you and gently pressing his lips to yours, the softness against your own making you melt into him slightly. Felix quickly but gently maneuvered you so you were now straddling his lap, his hands cupped your jaw as he deepened the kiss, his tongue tracing the seam of your lips seeking entrance to your mouth which you gave him enthusiastically. Felix's kisses were less intense and more sensual than the last time he kissed you, making you moan softly into his mouth.
"God I love the noises you make, so pretty" he breathed against your lips as you parted for air.
"Lix" you panted, feeling like your head was spinning.
"I've got you baby" he mumbled, connecting his lips back to yours, your hands moving on their own, one threaded its way into his hair and the other grasping his shirt to anchor yourself to him, your hips pressing against his crotch as you desperately tried to get closer to him. You had no idea how much time passed from when he first kissed you to when he finally pulled back from you pushing a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
"We need to stop now baby" he panted quietly, his chest rising and falling rapidly against your own "I won't be able to behave myself if we keep going". You flushed with embarrassment quickly moving to get out of his lap and sit back on the bed beside him.
"I'm sorry" you groaned, covering your hands with your face making him laugh.
"So cute" he chuckled, pulling your hands slowly away from your face and leaning in to kiss the tip of your nose. "You did nothing wrong baby, I just need to make sure I don"t cross any lines".
"Thank you Lix" you smiled shyly, looking up at him through your lashes.
"The things you do to me baby" he shook his head taking a deep breath wrapping you back up in his arms but in a much less compromising position before he started the movie again.
You didn't remember falling asleep but you must have because when you opened your eyes you were still in Felix's bed but you were alone and the morning light was filtering into the room between the gaps in the curtains. Sitting up you realized that you were still dressed in his clothes but that your clothes sat on his computer desk folded neatly and waiting for you shifting yourself out of the bed you stretched and padded your way across the carpeted floor to his bathroom knocking but finding it empty you went inside to change and clean yourself up a little before you would have to make your way home and hopefully be able to play off your being absent as going for an early morning walk. Making your way towards the lounge you were made aware it was no longer just you and Felix in the apartment as several voices were talking all at once. Pausing you waited to see if you should show yourself or hide yourself back in the bedroom.
"You were the one that suggested the rule mate" Minho complained, his voice rough from the night before but still obviously annoyed.
"We agreed there were no random girls in the apartment so what makes this one different?" Hyunjin added blandly.
"This isn't like that" Felix defended his voice exasperated as he tried protecting you in your absence.
"Then what is it like? There is no way it's her in your room right now" Minho continued his voice getting louder as he teased.
"Thanks for the boost in confidence" Felix groaned, sounding particularly done with what must have been an ongoing joke.
"I swear if you don't get your shit together and get together I'm going to steal her" Hyunjin declared cackling as he sounded like he moved quickly from the room.
"You're both arsehole you know that" Felix called after them as he walked towards where you were standing. Moving yourself further down towards his bedroom door you decided to make it look like you had just stepped out of his room
"Morning baby" Felix beamed as he saw you in his doorway pulling you into a cuddle.
"I'm sorry I fell asleep Lix" you mumbled nuzzling into him softly.
"It's alright baby but let's get you home while the idiots here are showering" He raised his eyebrows to indicate behind him.
"Lets but can I borrow a hoodie weather app says it's going to be cold this morning?" you ask watching his eyes light up.
A/N: I'm Sorry this has taken so long but I lost my steam for a while but I'm back now :) Once again thank you for reading my work and your likes, reblogs and comments are amazing xx
Taglist (open): @christopher-bangnaldoskzz, @armystay89, @damnyouficc, @roamingpolar, @bakedlilgoonie, @shiy, @is2cb97, @beautifulixr, @skyhold-tara, @army-stay-noel, @skizzel-reblogs, @facelesswrittes, @animehideout, @mrsseals16, @honey-pop, @fawnpeaks, @leeknowinggg, @uno7, @seungminluv3, @obeythemasters, @tanzen-ist-gold, @choisoorin
#felix x reader#lee felix x reader#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#stray kids fanfic#skz fanfic#skz scenarios#stray kids scenarios#college au#stray kids#skz#bang chan#kim seungmin#lee know#yang jeongin#hwang hyunjin#seo changbin#han jisung#slow burn fanfic#slow burn romance#bad boy felix#cigarettes and cliches#daceydeath writes
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In your modern au who in the gang goes to college/grad school and what subjects do they study? would they end up at schools close to home or go far away? How do there relationships change after highschool and with people moving away?
okay wow that’s a great question but also. a lot.
aang is a year below katara so his top choice school is just. the school katara goes to. it’s small and affordable and he studies philosophy and religion (but also takes any sort of fun elective offered to him) and joins a lot of clubs and makes a lot of friends and generally just has a nice time. he and katara overlap for three years but after she graduates they still live together, so he basically sees her every day anyway. it’s nice :)
katara genuinely considers not going to college but then she gets a sports scholarship she’d be a fool to reject so she’s like “fine, i’ll go, but i’m gonna phone it in the entire time.” she assumes that college will basically just be like high school, yet another prison where she will be forced to do math against her will. but she actually finds that she kind of enjoys some of her classes, and she can devote way more time to sports, and azula isn’t there (a weight has been lifted off her shoulders truly), and she actually meets a whole group of people who don’t find her intimidating and abrasive, but instead share her interests and actually organize with her. also, the fact that sokka isn’t there means that she doesn’t constantly have to compare herself to an impossible standard, and she finds that she actually enjoys learning when she gets to go at her own pace. and in fact…. she’s actually a great writer???? and really enjoys theory and philosophy and criticism and history and sociology and literature????? and she might actually be really fucking smart????? she graduates with honors. but there’s absolutely no way she’s pursuing grad school lmao. everyone knows that shit is a scam.
sokka goes to princeton for undergrad because, and i quote, “it’s nearby.” full ride, obviously. he double majors in physics and engineering, and also accidentally fulfills an art history minor without even noticing. everyone assumes that he’ll get a phd (at least one), but katara keeps insisting that grad school is a scam and so is the ivy league. and it’s not even that sokka necessarily disagrees with her, he just thinks that those are bold words coming from the girl who fell for a pyramid scheme. twice.
zuko goes to a small liberal arts college for undergrad and spends years attempting to justify his choice of going to a smaller, slightly less prestigious school by majoring in something dignified and respectable, like econ or business or engineering. none of which he is any good at. but eventually, after enough time spent beyond ozai’s purview, zuko just goes “fuck it” and double majors in theater and classics. his focus is on ancient greek drama. he then does a poetry mfa wherein he attempts to write on earth we’re briefly gorgeous without just rewriting on earth we’re briefly gorgeous (many such cases). he complains about his program constantly and how fake and pretentious it all is, but anyone who knows him can tell that it’s clearly the most fun he’s ever had.
suki doesn’t go to college. she figures that there’s no point in blowing money she doesn’t have and wasting precious valuable years of her time getting a fancy little bachelor’s degree she’ll never use for a job that doesn’t actually require one. and she doesn’t have any adult figures in her life to convince her that college is necessary (although sokka does spend a full week going “but are you sure…?” before suki realizes that she can just shut him up forever by claiming she can’t afford it). she continues to teach at the dojo, but because she basically already lives in her truck, she’s always driving over to princeton to crash in sokka’s dorm. she spends a lot of time just hanging out in the library while he does work, and finds that she doesn’t even need to go to classes to learn new things by herself. it’s funny how a formal education can make learning seem so much less interesting than it actually is. if she had actually gone to college, she probably would’ve spent the entire time blowing off classes and doing as little work as possible, but since she has no incentive to learn, she actually does. by the time sokka has graduated, suki is basically qualified to practice medicine, could tell you the entire history of the inca empire, and is basically an expert in mycology. and it didn’t cost a cent.
toph considers suki an inspiration, and by the time she graduates, she is already so estranged from her parents that she also has the agency to just blow off that whole thing. she moves in with sokka and mai and just follows them around. she sits in on their lectures whenever she feels like it (they claim she is mai’s little sister who is visiting her), and otherwise just kind of lounges about. occasionally sokka will be like “you know you could’ve just… gone to this school, right??? you’re literally a child prodigy and your parents are crazy rich.” to which toph just shrugs like “yeah……but nah.”
mai goes to princeton with sokka. it wasn’t even her top choice school, but once she realized that it’s where sokka was going, she couldn’t think of anywhere else that she would rather be. they’re roommates since freshman year and are basically inseparable. everyone assumes they’re dating, but sokka’s like “nah she’s gay, she’s just really clingy :)” which mai hates because he’s totally ruining her street cred. she’s a cs major, but she basically accumulates the credits for a math minor, a physics minor, and an english minor because all the cs classes are so easy for her (she first taught herself how to code when she was like six). sokka somehow convinces her to join his physics program for grad school, but after a year she drops out because she finds it so miserable. they continue living together, of course, while mai gets really into making esoteric indie games. zuko doesn’t really understands how video games work, but she still bounces her ideas off him because he’s the most ruthless critic she knows.
ty lee goes to college because it’s the sort of thing a girl from a decently respectable family does, but she’s pretty envious of suki’s lifestyle and wishes she could just blow off the entire thing. she goes to a decent school, one that appears acceptable on resumes but not so elite that it will raise any employer’s standards too high; she enjoys being underestimated. being in an entirely new environment gives her the opportunity to test out new personas free of consequence, and eventually she realizes that she’s kind of wasting her talents by pretending to be dumber than she is, so she actually applies herself and does really well. but then she gets bored of applying herself because now everyone expects too much of her and she misses when a B was considered a good grade. she’s technically a dance major because it’s the only thing she does consistently across three years (she graduates early), but she goes through different phases where she’s really into various fields, including but not limited to: abnormal psych, quantum physics, philosophical ethics, north african literature, microbiology, and women’s rugby. she keeps in touch with azula, mai, and suki, but she also just goes through phases of avoiding contact with all her former friends entirely. it’s fun to be aloof.
and last but certainly not least, azula goes to harvard for undergrad, and then harvard law. in fact, there is no other school azula could ever go to. even if she had lived on the other side of the globe, and not new jersey (or as she likes to call it, “manhattan”), azula would still go to harvard. she truly believes that it is the only school on earth capable of withstanding her towering intellect. anyone who found her insufferable in high school is in for a rude surprise once they realize that within a semester, harvard has somehow made her ten times worse. she’s technically pre-law, but she also studies pre-med and engineering, just in case. which is far too much for any one human to handle, and she ends up suffering a nervous breakdown during junior year where she eats nothing but cheetos for a week straight and tries to cut her own bangs with a pair of kiddie scissors. zuko and sokka go to cambridge to stage an intervention (mai and ty lee were too busy washing their hair that weekend) and help her out. you can tell it’s bad because she actually agrees to go to therapy. eventually she gets through it and decides to take a gap year before law school. she spends her gap year as a paralegal at a highly prestigious firm, and within the first couple years of graduating law school, she makes junior partner there. and they never speak of the cheetos and uneven bangs incident ever again.
in terms of who keeps in touch with whom, obviously mai, sokka, suki, and toph still hang out all the time after high school. mai and sokka are roommates for their entire twenties basically, and toph and suki pretty much also live with them. mai and sokka move to new york after princeton. and after zuko graduates, he also moves in with them. aang and katara sort of resist the idea of living in a big city, and instead decide to travel the world after aang graduates. but then when they go to visit sokka & co. katara realizes that it’s always secretly been her lifelong dream to work at a really cute little overpriced coffeeshop in brooklyn, and so she and aang get an apartment in like. red hook or something. ty lee actually moves to california, so they all assume they won’t see her often, but she flies back every time one of her sisters has a birthday, so they actually run into her pretty frequently. eventually she moves back to the east coast, and pretty soon after that she and mai uhaul together. none of them really hear from azula except for mai and ty lee, who are in a semi-active groupchat with her. but she and zuko reconnect after ozai’s funeral, and she gradually befriends the rest of the gaang, even if she never quite gets along with katara. so yeah, there are a few years where most of them don’t really talk to one another, but eventually they do manage to reconnect and stay in each other’s lives. they do all make other friends though. god could you imagine.
#averyho#asks#the gaang and#modern au#this was a fun one#the inherent comedy of being from new jersey. etc. etc.
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//~Alejandro Vargas hcs~//
A/N: Ayy que bendicion😩😩😩✨✨✨🌹🌹🌹 How this man is just something else I love it. Y’all I want him so bad it’s not a fucking joke istg. I’m so down bad I need to be put in a mental facility. Soap hcs and oneshots are next!!
Contains: fluff, Rudy being a good friend, sex, 18+, minor angst but not to much, jealousy
MINORS WATCH YOURSELVES!!!
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• Alejandro mi amor
• This man is so passionate about you it’s so hot
• He’s like a taste of forbidden fruit
• He’ll call you his little nicknames.
• Mi amor (my love) Cariño (Darling) Nena(Babe)
• Alejandro isn’t Alejandro without you in his life
• At first when you met he thought you were hot but most importantly, he knew better than to like for your looks
• He reminded himself not to fall in love after what happened with Valeria
• He couldn’t stand another betrayal
•But how could he try to dislike you with that beautiful smile you have that makes his days better even when you don’t talk to each other
• He loves you for you
• Rodolfo respects you a lot and genuinely really likes you (As an amazing friend)
• You’re there for Alejandro when he’s at his lowest and he’s there for you
• Might see you on the verge of breaking.
• Immediately pulls you to his chest with one hand cradling your back and your head with the other
• “Look at me mi amor. You’re ok here with me…no llores por favor cariño”
• When he comes home you run into his arms and he spins you around the room
• Kisses you in the crook of your neck and likes when you giggle
• He FULL ON kisses with passion and tongue
• Jealousy is there a lot. If he sees someone pressuring you or making you uncomfortable that’s when he steps in
• “Back the fuck away cabrón” He has that scary death glare. It’s terrifying
• No one will bother you on his watch. No way
• Puts you before anything else
• When you found out about Valeria you had a panic attack (I’m sorry)
• Either someone tried ruining Alejandro by sending old pictures of them to your home, or Los Vaqueros were being jackasses and talked about her and you happen to hear
• Before you had that panic attack Rodolfo tried assuring you that Alejandro wants nothing to do with her and only has eyes for you
• It wasn’t enough because doubts filled your mind
• So when Alejandro came in the house and found you in the living room with your eyes ruined like you cried, he immediately went to action.
• “Mírame mi amor, nadie me quita de ti. Ella está en el pasado donde pertenece. Solo te necesito a ti” (Look at me my love, no one is taking me away from you. She's in the past where she belongs. I only need you)
• May show you the rest of the night how much he ACTUALLY loves you
• He’s not into being too rough (maybe if you want) The way he loves you is gentle with passion🌸
• Will laugh at you if you have sore legs. Just falling in front of him the night after makes him realize how much of a good job he did.
• Watches tv shows with you. No novelas much. Regular drama shows.
• Will complain about characters
• “Maldita estúpida why did she do that” he complains as you laugh at him
• sleeping in bed with him behind you and his arms wrapped around your torso
• Best nightmare comfort he gives
• He’ll hear your whimpers and fast breathing and he’ll try to talk to you to calm you down.
• You’ll wake up with a shuddering breath and tears filling your eyes as you turn to look for him
• He’s already up with the lamp turned on and pulls you into him when he sits against the headboard
• “Shh duermate mi vida…I’m right here”
• Always caresses your head to his chest and rubs your back
• Doesn’t matter what time it is. Will hum you back to sleep
#alejandro cod#cod modern warfare#call of duty#ghost mw2#alejandro vargas x reader#alejandro vargas#cod x you#cod mwii#mw2 x reader#modern warefare ii#call of duty mwii#cod x y/n#ghost call of duty#konig call of duty#alejandro mw2#mw2 headcanons#soap mctavish#simon riley#gaz cod#john price#rodolfo parra#cod mw2#modern warfare
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helllloooo!!!!!! I read your matthew and taerae things and they are super cute <33 I was wondering if you could do something similar for yujin? 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
ahh i’m so glad you like them!! thinking of making it a series for the rest of the guys but let me know if that’s something you guys would like!!
yujin things ₊˚🖇️ ✩ ₊˚ 🎧 ⊹
warnings: yujin is aged up in this writing, as i don’t feel the most comfortable writing for/about minors. still, there is no nsfw or suggestive content in this request. some swears are also included.
- is naturally so cute ?? this isn’t something new however yujin’s the kind of guy that just finds purity and sweetness in everything he comes across. ice cream, balloons, confetti, it makes him 100x more endearing because cuteness is his natural aesthetic.
- privately or with close friends though? he’s such a little shit
- will gaslight as much as he needs to get what he wants (which he doesn’t ask for often), but neither you nor the boys can resist him because he does that shy, “feel bad for me” look that’s gets you all worked up.
- CANNOT SIT STILL FOR ONE SECOND omfg- he’s finding all different kinds of ways to take “sitting down” to the next level. he’ll be rolling across the room in your office chair, bouncing on the couch head first, probably kicking his feet against your headboard…or stove..
- gets real up close and personal to your face at the most random moments. you could be sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phone and- oh, there’s yujins nose in your business again.
- i’m taking ab these 😑
- on more than just a physical level, this man is always down to know what is going on with your life. pretends to seem uninterested until he finds time alone with you each weekend, where he’ll outright beg for the most recent drama.
- is always prepared, especially when it comes to things you not only need, but might simply want in the moment. forgot a pen? he keeps a few of yours in the front pocket of his bag. thirsty? he’ll drop a juice box at your side out of the blue and you’re left to wonder where the hell he got that from.
- the guy that will never leave you dehydrated, because he keeps a water drinking app on his phone to track you. he likes to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, because not seeing you at your best means yujin isn’t fully at his best either.
“ahhh but if you have this soda we can’t meet your goal for today! 😲”
“FINE, i’ll order a water please. 👹”
- if your female identifying, he also has an app to track your cycle. actually, this man has an app for everything about you, even a personal mood journal, where he can document what you said, did, and how you reacted. yujin loves his apps, and yujin also looooves to take care of you.
- not huge on pda, but he gets a little thrill from small acts of affection that are almost impossible to notice. holding pinkies, tying shoelaces, or zipping up your jacket really make him feel like a daredevil >:)
- calls you noona, doesn’t care if you’re older or younger than him. it’s a natural part of the relationship at this point and you just gotta deal with it. if there’s quite a big age gap between you two he’ll call you noona-baby and it doesn’t make much sense, but when it’s coming from his sweet voice you really can’t complain. 😵💫💗
globaloppaaa© do not copy, modify, or repost my work without consent and permission
#zb1#zb1 imagines#zb1 x reader#yujin#zerobaseone yujin#zerobaseonesource#han yujin#zb1 scenarios#yujin moodboard#zb1 taerae#zb1 hanbin#zb1 ricky#zb1 jiwoong#zb1 matthew#zb1 yujin#zerobaseone#back to zerobase#zerobase1#zerobaseone imagines#zerobaseone x reader#yujin x reader
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Modern ZoLu AU where Zoro and Sanji are initially closer friends with Ace & Sabo cos they are closer in age and don’t have much to do with their younger sister Luffy except that Sanji one called her cute for which Zoro called him a creep bc of age difference (Luffy still a minor).
Now Zoro was gone for two years to train sword fighting with Mihawk and reconnects with old friends when he’s back. He goes to a party at Ace’s place and meets a cute boy with messy hair and an energetic personality. Zoro’s automatically flirting with him. At first Zoro had no idea who he was but he had known Zoro and dragged him into conversations and around the party.
Sanji comes in later. Within the last two years he had a lot of realisations about himself and isn’t as straight as he used to be. (How much he changed is up to you)
Anyway, now he greets Zoro by calling him a creep in return. Zoro doesn’t understand why and Sanji has to explain to him that the boy he’s chatting up is Ace & Sabo’s now little brother Luffy who went from girl to boy by cutting his hair short, getting top surgery and somehow gain a scar under his left eye.
Zoro instantly panics about what Ace and Sabo are gonna do to him. But can’t find the self control not to flirt with Luffy. He’s irresistible. At least Luffy isn’t a minor anymore.
Help 😭 What do you mean age difference? It's only two years- But yeah, Zoro would use any opportunity to call Sanji a creep so I believe that would happen somehow.
No matter the universe, Zoro is down bad for Luffy. But I honestly think Luffy would be the one to approach him first because he finds Zoro interesting and he remembers him from when he used to come over two years ago. So they start talking but Luffy doesn't mention that they know each other already, and Zoro is instantly captivated by this guy's stupidity because that's what happens in every AU with these two. They're just equally dumb and in love. Soulmate type of thing. They're flirting or, you know, doing their version of flirting. In which 'Do you want to see my swords?' isn't a sexual innuendo but like, genuinely, Zoro is talking about swords the whole time and Luffy loves it.
Zoro doesn't find out that's Sabo and Ace's brother until Sanji tells him. Sanji won't stop laughing and saying he's completely fucked because his older brothers go feral whenever somebody tries to touch Luffy, but Zoro doesn't pay much attention to it. I think he wouldn't care, tbh. Luffy is independent and he can make his own decisions.
I personally think it'd be hilarious if Luffy and Zoro started dating or having something romantic going on and the only reason why Ace and Sabo don't like it is not because they're overprotective (they are not, actually, those are just rumors and actually the only one who acts kind of protective is Sabo) but because Zoro? Really? Zoro? He's such a gym-bro in every universe and he won't shut up about swords. The only thing he's good at is maths and he won't stop falling asleep everywhere. The guys love their friend, but Zoro???? Besides, Sabo is just worried this relationship might distract Luffy from studying (<- Older brother who raised Luffy like he was his own really doesn't want Luffy to stop studying like Ace did. There's a whole drama about it because Luffy doesn't want to study either but it's different with Ace and-- Yeah. You can tell where this is going).
I think Zoro wouldn't be scared at first, and when he is a bit concerned for his safety is only because Sabo has that "Hello :) What were you two doing so late at night together? :)" type of mom creepy energy.
#sanji constantly in the background like 'you should've never dated a guy with brothers. those are the worst'#i like this story bc i imagine sanji dating usopp and being the happiest most sarcastic asshole in the whole world while this drama happens#but yeah i think the only protective brother would be sabo. ace would be kind of like 'oh. you're dating my brother? haha. good luck'#zoro is that kind of friend everybody loves but damn 'how the hell did you get a boyfriend? like. no offense dude but you're boring'#luffy finds him incredibly interesting tho so good for him#one piece#asl brothers#zolu#monkey d. luffy#roronoa zoro#portgas d. ace#revolutionary sabo#black leg sanji
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SNARRY FOR BEGINNERS
Are you a bit Snarry curious, but also sorta wary and unsure where to start? Good news: I have some recs for you!
Snarry is a tricky ship for some folks. All of its most problematic themes are what draw me in personally, but that's not to say there aren't some safe places to start for a newcomer!
What I've chosen are:
Nothing too long, so you can get a little taste to see how you feel. So I'm looking at 50k or under.
Nothing "problematic" or as few "problematic" themes as I can get. No underage. No power imbalance. No consent issues. (...or at least nothing egregious haha.)
Works that also maintain some integrity to Harry and Severus' individual characters, and the tension between them. If I play it too safe it won't feel properly Snarry to me! Half the fun is the tension between them, so we must keep that!
So...If you wanna check some out, keep reading!
An Awkward Customer
by AnyaElizabeth. Rated: E. Words: 10,768. Postwar. EWE. Romance. Humor.
Snape can't figure out why Potter is hanging around his shop.
Why Read? A nice rom-com based on the prompt: "Harry makes a bet with someone that he could seduce anyone if he put his mind to it, and that someone selected for him is Snape, naturally." Severus owns an apothecary so we get some nice flirting at the workplace!
a scratch for every itch
by bleedcolor (@bleedcolor.) Rated: T. Words: 11,478. Fluff & humor. Magical maladies. Friends to idiots in love. Romance.
Severus Snape is an itch that Harry just can't scratch.
Why Read? Surely fluff is a safe place to start! And as a person who isn't often drawn to fluff, this is one I love, and is a comfort read of mine. Very sweet and silly and a great place to dip your toes in!
Dumbledore's Folly
by Dementordelta. Rated: M. Words: 47,446. Romance. Courtship. Oldie but a goodie!
Snape must court Harry according to wizarding traditions.
Why Read? I've reread this fic countless times over the years and it's still such a fun read. If you like arranged marriage/courtship fics, this is the one for you!
The Interrupted Kiss
by emynn. Rated: E. Words: 24,291. Postwar. Romance. Hurt/comfort. Mystery.
Once upon a time, Severus Snape shared a kiss with Harry Potter. Then Harry had disappeared after killing the Dark Lord, leaving Severus the reluctant darling of the Wizarding world. When Dumbledore insists on throwing a ball in Severus’s honour, Severus is convinced the world has gone completely mad. But when he comes across an ashy-faced young man whose half-answers about his identity haunt his every thought, Severus realizes that a ball might be the least of his worries.
Why Read? What safer place to start than a fairytale? If we ignore that most original fairytales are pretty effed up, actually. This is a Cinderella-inspired work. Severus is the Prince (naturally), and Harry is the wandmaker (cool career, right??) who attracts many cute animals! (He does not sing to them, though; what a shame!)
This Time of Ours
by emynn. Rated: E. Words: 35,442. Time travel. Hurt/comfort. Romance & drama.
Severus Snape wasn’t supposed to die. Neither was Harry Potter.
Why Read? Emynn has plenty of great Snarry fics, which is why you're getting 2 recs! We start with some fun snarking, move onto sweet bonding, and then...second chances! Very light, enjoyable read.
On the Deficencies of Translation Spells
by LilaDiurne (@liladiurne.) Rated: E. Words: 41,130. Getting together. Magical theory. Professor Potter & Professor Snape. Beaubatons. Pining. Light angst. Minor Harry/others.
Divorced, single, and free, Harry lives a completely unapologetic life in Paris. Between casual hook-ups and an easy, comfortable job, he likes to think he is as close to happiness as he'll ever be. And when he gets offered a teaching job at the prestigious Académie Beauxbâtons, he thinks he may have found exactly what was missing. But Harry is thoroughly unprepared for what he finds there - a familiar face that's been haunting his dreams for six years.
Why read? It's very Harry-centric. It's Harry's POV, and very about Harry and his journey as he moves to a new place, in a new phase of his life, and settles in. There's an existing connection and attraction between Harry and Severus, and one that unfolds so sensually and beautifully. Harry's very much an adult and mature and has lived a lot of life when he and Severus reunite.
Rapture
by mia_ugly (@mia-ugly.) Rated: E. Words: 48,123. Time travel. Romance.
Snape sees the man, for the first time, on his twenty-fifth birthday.
Why Read? It's a classic! It is very beloved in the community for good reason. Gorgeous writing. The relationship develops so naturally, and the pure emotion will knock your socks off. Potentially the best place to start for Snarry. I'm not a big fan of time travel, but I love this fic!
Revealed, Gently
by sarkysue. Rated: T. Words: 22,243. Postwar. Romance. Humor.
Snape isn’t dead, he’s back at Hogwarts and in need of an assistant. Coincidently, Harry is hanging around Hogwarts, reluctant to move on with his life. Cue sniping and snarking, tears and laughter and, possibly, love.
Why Read? It's fun. It's cute. It's a bit silly. It makes great use of how not easy it would be for these two, and having a blast with it! There is arguably a power imbalance what with Harry being Snape's teaching assistant, but it doesn't really feel like much of one. It's only a great opportunity to force these 2 to hang out long enough to fall in love!
The Sleeping Prince
by who_la_hoop. Rated: T. Words: 42,758. Postwar. Deaging. 8th year.
It's hard to ignore your past — and impossible to do so when you can't remember your future. But a meddlesome portrait, a dragon with an ancient grudge and true love's kiss teach an unlikely Prince that a regrettable past doesn't have to mean an unhappy ending.
Why Read? While probably the most questionable on the list, it's still fairly tame. Student Harry and his developing feelings for Student Severus, who is deaged postwar. It feels very much like a feel good teenage romance, wherein the characters very much act their age, awkwardness and all! The only caveat being things change a bit at the end, but there's no underage and it is rated Teen, to be fair!
The Beating of This Fragile Heart
by Writcraft (@writcraft.) Rated: E. Words: 33,146. Hurt/comfort. Fluff & angst. Serious Injury. Romance.
After the war, the last thing Severus Snape needs is the memory of a fleeting wartime kiss and a very persistent Harry Potter thwarting his plans to live a peaceful and solitary life. It’s only when Harry’s life is endangered that Severus is finally forced to confront his feelings head on.
Why Read? If you're coming from Drarry, you might be familiar with Writ's works! They've written plenty for drarry and some rare pair works, and they are a fantastic storyteller. This fic in particular is very romantic. Full of hesitancy and insecurity, and seeing how the relationship begins and how it unfolds and changes (for the better) when Severus is forced to deal with his issues. It's quite a journey but so full of love from start to finish and it's just so lovely and full of feels and one I return to again and again.
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It’s almost been 24 hours since vol 2 came out and I’m still super pissed off, so here’s a list of everything wrong in volume 2.
Byler. Queerbait of the fucking century??? I would’ve been significantly less upset if they hadn’t advertised/marketed it so hard during pride month. And making the queer kid the sad gay vessel through which the straight couple thrives is nothing short of homophobic.
The deaths. They advertised this season as being particularly dangerous/full of death, which was a straight up lie. The only people who died were either antagonists or minor background characters, with the exception of Eddie (though it was extremely obvious from the start that he was canon fodder, much like Bob- despite how much I liked Eddie’s character, there was never a doubt in my mind that he wasn’t going to die.)
Max’s “death”. So I know I just did a section on the deaths but this one pissed me off so much I had to give it it’s own seperate section. Max’s “death” was a total copout. Don’t get me wrong, I love her character. But I wish she did die. Having someone die and be brought back to life is such a terrible, cliche, overused trope. It’s too safe of a choice. Where is the danger? I want to actually be scared that the characters I love might not make it out alive. And since when could El bring people back to life? That’s never been explored in the show before, making it completely out of place and confusing when watching the scene. Having Max die would’ve been impactful, and shown to the audience that any of the characters can die, not just new ones, or unimportant background ones. It would’ve raised the stakes! The scene where she “died” was heartbreaking and powerful, but then they negated that by bringing her back to life, rendering the scene pointless. They either should’ve actually genuinely killed her, or not have her “die” at all. Having that “in-between” sort of situation where she technically died, but came back to life (albeit in a coma) was super flaky, and imo, bad writing.
Speaking of bad writing, the time skip! This is genuinely one of the worst things I’ve seen implemented in the show. I generally don’t like time skips anyway, but at least the one at the end of s3 made sense. The main drama of that season was resolved, and they needed to show the Byers moving away. The time skip this season, however, made 0 fucking sense. The drama hadn’t been resolved, it just skipped like half of the climax and the entirety of the falling action, and went straight to the resolution (which wasn’t even a resolution at all). 2 days is a pretty big time skip to implement after skipping half the climax. What happened during those two days??? It was confusing as fuck, and none of the characters actions/behaviour during the “resolution” phase of the story made sense, maybe with the exception of Dustin and Lucas, who were shown to be grieving unlike almost everyone else. You’re telling me that Nancy, Robin and Steve just fought fucking Vecna, almost died, and some of their friends did die (if you count Max) and two days later they’re happily packing up a bunch of old belongings to donate, without a care in the world? And during that scene, there seemed to be little to no concern about Mike’s whereabouts from the entire Wheeler family until he actually showed up. They mentioned they’d been trying to contact them for days, but nothing about their demeanour beforehand implied concern.
The monologue. Need I even say more? It was cheesy, cringey, and made no narrative sense. The reasoning Mike gave for being unable to tell El he loved her was one of the stupidest reasons I’ve seen in media, ever. Where was the “amazing monologue” we were promised by the Duffers? That sure as hell isn’t what I’d call amazing. Finn is a great actor, and he’s done amazing monologues before (*cough cough*, the shed scene) so that isn’t on him, it’s on the shitty script. “I feel like my life first started when I met you in the woods”? Bullshit, and such a cruel thing to say in front of Will, who’s life was literally turned upside down on the exact same day. “I loved you since the moment I saw you”? Love at first sight is a cringey trope. Mike was 12 when he first met Eleven. He probably didn’t even know the meaning of love, especially when you take a look at how dysfunctional his parents marriage is/Nancy, his older sisters relationship at the time was. Also, how can he say he loved her the moment he saw her when he spent most of s1 trying to get rid of her (saying he was going to send her back to pennhurst) and calling her a “weapon”? El could’ve found strength to beat Vecna in something far more significant than a teenage boy telling her he loves her, but noooo.
Will’s painting. I really feel like I don’t have to elaborate on this one. It just fucking sucked. They built it up like it was going to be some really important declaration of love from Will to Mike, only to have it be used to help further Mileven. Also the actual painting was ass, and all the fan theories about it were way better and more meaningful. (Like the idea we all had of the swingset where Mike and Will first met, or even just a painting of the two of them as their D&D characters, but SEPERATE from the rest of the group so it was actually obvious what the painting meant.)
The upside down thing with Henry?? I don’t even know what’s going on there. It was super confusing. Is the mind flayer actually Henry? Did El create the upside down or was it there before? Why did it look like that when Henry first got sent there, but looks like Hawkins now? I know they’ll likely answer these questions next season, but there’s just too many questions and knowing now how shit the duffers are at writing, I doubt they’ll all be answered satisfactorily.
The terrible character development. By that, I mean that there was none. Literally no characters had any development. They were all exactly the same as they were at the start of the season. El is still dependent on Mike/isn’t her own person. Mike is still a fucking asshole who treats his friends like shit. Will is still in the closet and hiding his true feelings from everyone around him. Nancy and Jonathan are still lying to each other. Steve is still pining after Nancy. Robin is still pining after Vickie. I could go on and on.
The Duffers hate minorities + poor people. Will and Robin, the two queer characters, don’t get well rounded love interests like all of the straight characters, and Will in particular is made to suffer constantly. Lucas and Erica, the two black characters, are both physically assaulted. Max and Eddie, the two poorest characters, who are living in a trailer park, fucking die. (from @hellfireds) Oh, also? The Duffers filmed parts of s4 in a fucking Nazi prison, where Jewish people were held against their wills and killed. (from @artmuseumsandoldbooks)
I’m going to keep updating this list as I think of more things that are wrong with vol 2. There’s already so many things I could add if I decided to include the shit wrong with vol 1 as well, but vol 2 was significantly worse so I’m just gonna stick to that. Feel free to suggest anything else I should add to the list
In conclusion, FUCK THE DUFFERS
#stranger things#byler#stranger things spoilers#st spoilers#stranger things season 4#st4 spoilers#stranger things 4 spoilers#will byers#mike wheeler#byler tumblr#stranger things theory#Byler doubt#stranger things season 4 spoilers#stranger things s4#eleven stranger things#nancy wheeler#steve harrington#fuck the duffers#Duffer brothers#more like suffer brothers#suffer brothers#Dustin Henderson#Lucas Sinclair#Max mayfield#Eddie Munson
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High Infidelity (JJ Maybank x Reader, Rafe Cameron x Reader)
Word count: 1K
Summary: after spending time in secret with JJ, you go home to rafe
Tags: happy times with JJ, not so happy times with rafe, cheating (or should I say infidelity), kissing, very minor amount of smut (with JJ), fluff, angst, lying, arguing
Request: “Another swiftie into obx omg hi!! For the song requests, can I ask for high infidelity where the reader is sneaking around with jj while rafe is her boyfriend?? Thx!!”
A/N: I asked for obx prompts based on taylor swift songs and ended writing this in ab 30 minutes (not including editing lol) bc I love that song and the ~drama- of it so much. just based on the song, not a songfic
cross-posted to ao3 • obx masterlist • main masterlist
You felt so alive with JJ.
Whether it was just hanging out and having fun, or things getting hot and heavy (and having fun), you were happiest with him.
Right now, the two of you were drinking on a secluded spot on the beach, sitting side by side, laughing together as you watched the sunset.
His arm was around your waist, holding you against him. His smile was so bright as he rambled off some story that amused the both of you.
“You’re ridiculous,” you told him lightly, turning your head to face him.
JJ mirrored you and grinned. His eyes flicked to your lips before he said, “Maybe, but you love me anyway.”
He was right, you did.
He leaned in to kiss you then, those perfect lips of his capturing yours.
You wanted to stay in this moment forever, you couldn’t remember the last time you’d felt so loved and so free.
Things started to escalate, the kiss becoming more heated and both of you responded to the want you felt. You ended up stripped of your clothes beneath him, his body moving on top of you, and those gorgeous blue eyes staring into yours with such awe as you both became overwhelmed with pleasure.
You wished that’s how your night would’ve ended. The two of you together on the beach, not a care in the world, only focused on one another.
With JJ, things were so uncomplicated.
It was long past sunset when you finally decided it was time to go. You reluctantly left one another, but not before making plans to see each other soon. He even kissed you goodbye, and you thought about it the whole way home.
When you got home, you were reminded of how complicated it actually was.
It wasn’t hard to sneak into Tannyhill, they sometimes forgot to lock the back door.
Unfortunately, the door led right to the kitchen where your boyfriend was waiting.
Of course he was. He barely said a word to you today, but now that you hadn’t been home he was waiting up just for you.
How romantic.
You should’ve just walked passed, if you had you could’ve avoided him, but you were still tipsy and really, really needed water.
Plus, you figured he’d just catch up to you anyway. You shared a bedroom, it’s not like you could kick him out. You didn’t exactly have anywhere else to go, either.
“Hey,” you greeted casually, but you couldn’t quite meet his eye as you walked to the fridge. “Shouldn’t you be asleep?”
Rafe was sitting at the counter, watching you with an angry look. You knew it wasn’t just because you slurred your words ever so slightly.
“Have fun with Sarah?” he asked, not bothering to even look back to see if she was behind you.
That had been the lie you told him. She had mentioned having late night plans with John B, so you figured if she would be gone too, might as well use her as an alibi.
“Yeah, I needed a girls night.”
It used to bother you when you lied to Rafe, but not so much anymore. That probably should’ve bothered you as well, but it didn’t. You did it with such ease now.
You grabbed the water pitcher from the fridge and a cup down from the shelf. You went to the counter and stood across from him.
You forced a smile as you poured yourself a glass of water, but Rafe’s expression didn’t soften.
“That’s funny, because I saw Sarah come back over an hour ago,” he revealed. “She had no idea where you were.”
You set the pitcher down, feeling completely sober all of the sudden. The thud of it against the counter was the only noise to fill the uncomfortable silence.
“She left early,” you countered with a shrug. You grabbed the cup and sipped at the water, trying to avoid eye contact.
“That’s six nights in the past two weeks,” Rafe noted.
You turned your back on him to go put the pitcher back in the fridge.
“What?”
“Six nights in the past two weeks that you’ve come back late, and now I’m thinking you’re not spending them where you say you are.”
You furrowed your brows and slammed the door. You turned and looked back at him. You couldn’t quite read the look on his face. It was something between smug that he’d finally caught you in a lie, and pissed that you’d been lying.
“You’re keeping count?”
“You’re my girlfriend and freeloading at my house, so yeah, I notice when you’re gone,” he sneered.
You wondered what happened to the Rafe that made you smile and laugh. Now he just made you feel small and brought a frown to your face.
JJ made you smile and laugh all the time.
“Where were you?” Rafe interrogated, standing from his seat.
You watched wordlessly as he made his way around the counter to stand in front of you.
You swallowed, but looked up at him dead in the eye. Maybe he wanted to know, but he didn’t need to know. You’d bent the truth too far and he wasn’t going to accept you dancing around it anymore.
Your relationship was dying, and you felt like you were dying on the inside.
“Do you really wanna know where I was?”
But you still loved him. It was sad, but true. As you stared at Rafe, your own question lingering in the air as he waited for an answer, you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him how JJ had brought you back to life.
Your shoulders sagged, defeated by your own inner turmoil. Your expression softened, even as he stared down at you, waiting impatiently.
You shook your head a little to yourself and broke away from his gaze.
“I was out with friends,” you said, brushing past him.
You needed to shower, to rid your body of any evidence before you went to the bed you shared with him.
You had a feeling this was the last straw, but when Rafe watched you walk away without a word, you wondered if that’s what he’d rather believe.
Laying beside him and trying to sleep peacefully was going to be awkward, if not a struggle. But on the bright side, at least you’d be seeing JJ again soon.
#jj maybank x reader#jj maybank x you#jj maybank#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron#outer banks#obx#request#quin-ns writing
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