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meikostan · 5 months

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It is literally impossible for me to shut up about vocaloid songs i like so i'm going to list a couple of songs and talk about why I like them so much and why you should like them too (to be updated continuously because once again I'll never shut up)

HONORABLE MENTION: The 13 minute, 64-song My Favorite Vocaloid Medley. I have had the lyrics to this beast memorized since I was 12 years old. It warms my heart to know that people are still making covers with this specific medley. I'll link to some of my favorites. Original song version UTAU medley (the only part i dislike is homokure's part idk why but it enrages me) The funny version NEKSM cover Abandoned UTAU cover Bonus: my playlist of each song from the medley in order

Tokyo Teddy Bear - Neru

Literally the song that got me into vocaloid in 5th grade. I was already aware of vocaloid and generally had positive feelings towards it because i had seen the World is Mine concert years before (it had blown my little 7 year old brain btw) but this song is the game changer. If you're a vocaloid fan you have probably listened to this song before so I won't spend too much time trying to pitch the song and instead talk about its impact on me. This bad boy has been with me for at this point nearly half of my life. It's one of the few vocaloid songs I listened to before I ever started learning Japanese (side note remind me to make a post about this too so I can share my numerous resources). Also quick shoutout to JubyPhonic for the line "ends justify the seams" in their english cover, fucking amazing. Anyway, this was also the song that cemented Rin as my favorite vocaloid in middle school (1, she has the range, 2, she's just like me fr <---suffering).

Honorable mention: Alfakyun's cover

2. 3年C組14番窪園チヨコの入閣 (Year 3 Class C No. 14 Kubozono Chiyoko's Joining of the Cabinet)

I have mentioned this before. Books do not make me cry. Songs do not make me cry. Movies have made me cry exactly once when I was 6 years old, and after that never again. This song is one of the few things to have ever made me produce genuine tears. You can tell how much I like it cause both this blog and my main's pfps are from this song. It's the ending, it gets me every time. But it's also the buildup of the actual song that makes the moment. It's hard for me to word exactly why, I've retyped and reworded this sentence many times. There's something about the contrast between the goofy dancing cats and how quietly Rin is singing. But also how, save for the students and cats, there is a near total lack of color (with of couse the bright orange being exclusive to Chiyoko and the cats). And how the song still has a kind of energy to it. I almost don't want to 'spoil' the ending but it's such a big part of why this song has the impact it does on me. Go watch the MV if you haven't yet, I'll wait... 3... 2... 1... ...Now do you get it?

3. The Beast - Spectacle-P (original video, not on spectacle-p's channel; this 2021 remake is, however, on their official channel)

You already know i'm a certified beasthead. There was a time in my life (which went on for more than a few months) where I would spend hours listening to various covers of this song on repeat. She means everything to me. Brief overview of the story: Singer (the beast) isolates themself in a tower of their own loneliness, when a human comes along and breaks down those walls so to speak (and then dies, badly). But now the beast realizes they do actually need human connection, and the song ends with them returning to society, waiting for the day they'll meet their loved one again. I think on some level I relate to the beast. I don't know how much of my isolation is self inflicted and how much is just a natural part of who I am. Maybe even the "natural" part is something that I just incorporated into myself, like the beast (who was formerly human).

Aside from the emotional impact of the lyrics, another reason I love this song so much is because of the composition, even divorced from the lyrics. A not insignificant portion of the covers I repeatedly listen to are literally just piano covers. It's so captivating and well made. I don't know if this is just because I have the original lyrics engraved into my skull or what but somehow even without words the song imparts the same bittersweet feelings.

Honorable mentions: Hinami Mei's cover My The Beast playlist of every iteration of The Beast that I can find One time I remade The Beast with cat meows + oboe + piano

4. Monochrome Shangri-la - MASA Works DESIGN

Definitely not the first song you think of when Masa comes to mind. This song is less overtly dark as his other works, being based off of Kenji Miyazawa's 1934 novel Night on the Galactic Express (銀河鉄道の夜), a pretty widely known and loved novel. This isn't even the only vocaloid song to be based on it - sasakure.UK's "For Campanella" comes to mind. This is also the reason I actually read the book (well, read part of and then finished via audiobook for the daily listening challenge.) But yeah, no gore or necrophilia or anything, just fun times on the space train and then also Campanella dies.

To me the song at times feels intentionally overwhelming, veering from a fun bouncing energy to the sense that suddenly everything is happening at once. Or maybe just being overwhelmed by the "many colored sky", like through your journey in space you're just hit with sight after sparkling sight. It is, after all, "just you, our dreams, the stars, and me". The loss of Campanella (as implied through the lyrics, though he's never actually named) transforms this into a much more frantic feeling.

5. No One Likes a Wallflower - MonochroMenace

I need you to drop what you're doing and listen to this song right fucking now. I think it may be my favorite engloid song. Literally this rocks so hard, there was a point in time where I listened to it multiple times daily for a month straight. Which may be a little surprising considering it only came out like 4 months ago. It's catchy, has an awesome MV, and the lyrics are fun (and honestly kind of call me out x) ) Despite that it doesn't ever cross into being actually mean-spirited toward the people being described (ie, people who prefer to sit by the sidelines in a party, or people who feel forced into doing so). It hasn't been a long enough time for me to say that this is life changing like the other songs listed but genuinely I have been so obsessed with this song that if I don't recommend it here I'll explode. Badly.

#WARNING: i get cringe (personal)#also dont judge me for how i describe music please i am an artist who arranges things visually not musically 🙏#vocaloid

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ohhkaty · 1 year

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Record collecting is an expensive hobby but it also honestly brings me so much joy. There’s still so much I want to buy and will buy (tbh) but I keep going to record sales and not remembering what I own and almost buying doubles of the same album, so that’s why this list exists. But I also saw folks publishing their lists earlier and I love seeing what people have in their collections (truly I’d love to see yours if you wanted to post it!) If you ever want to talk records or music I’m your gal ♡

A Abba - Super Trouper - Voulez Vous - Greatest Hits Vol. 2 The Animals - The Best Of The Animals Arcade fire - Everything Now Arlo Parks - Collapsed In Sunbeams Aqua - Aquarium

B Bleachers - Bleachers MTV Unplugged - Take the sadness out of Saturday night Beyonce - Lemonade - Renaissance Billie Eilish - Happier Than Ever Barenaked ladies - Original Hits Bo Burnham - Inside Bob Seger - Stranger In Town Billy Joel - 52 Street - The Stranger - Glass Houses - An Innocent Man The Beatles - Help - Yesterday and Today - Abbey Road - Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band

C Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated - The Loneliest Time Cat Stevens -Tea for the Tillerman Creedence Clearwater Revival - Chronicle Vol. 1 Cheap Trick - At Budokan

D Dirty Honey - Dirty Honey Dodie - build a problem Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia Dee Gees - Hail Satin David Bowie - Legacy (The Very Best Of David Bowie) Dolly Parton - Greatest Hits Diana Ross - Swept Away - Summer

E Elvis Presley - The Essential Elvis Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong - Ella and Louis Etta James - At Last Edith Piaf - The great Edith Piaf Elton John - Greatest Hits - Greatest Hits Vol. 2 - Captain Fantastic - Honky Château - Here and There

F Fleet Foxes - Fleet Foxes Florence and the Machine - Lungs - Dance Fever Frank Ocean - Channel Orange (yes this is a boot) Fun - Some Nights Fleetwood Mac - Rumours - Tango In The Night - The Dance

G Greta Van Fleet - From the Fires - Anthem of the Peaceful Army - The Battle at Garden’s Gate George Ezra - Gold rush kid Grateful Dead - American beauty Genesis - Invisible touch The Guess Who - The Best Of The Guess Who

H Haim - Forever EP - Days Are Gone - Something To Tell You - Women in Music III Harry Styles - Harry Styles - Fine Line - Harry’s House Hozier - Hozier - Wasteland, Baby! Hall & Oates - Rock 'n Soul Part 1

J Jill Barber - Chances Jeff Goldblum and The Mildred Snitzer Orchestra - The Capitol Studios Sessions Jeff Lynne’s ELO - Alone In The Universe Joni Mitchell - Blue Jimi Hendrix - Are You Experienced Janis Joplin - Greatest Hits - Pearl Jefferson Airplane -Surrealistic Pillow Jethro Tull - Stand Up Janet Jackson - Control

K Kacey Musgraves - Golden Hour - Star-Crossed Khruangbin and Leon Bridges - Texas Sun - Texas Moon Kate bush - Hounds Of Love Kansas - Leftoverture

L Lorde - Melodrama - Solar Power The Lumineers - The Lumineers - Cleopatra Lizzo -Coconut Oil - Cuz I Love You Lauryn Hill - The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill Lana Del Rey - Born To Die Led Zeppelin - In Through The Out Door

M Maggie Rogers - Surrender Mother Mother - Dance And Cry Mumford and Sons - Wilder Mind Mika - Life In Cartoon Motion Matty Matheson - A Cookbook (yes this is a real cookbook, it comes with a zine!) Marina And The Diamonds -Electra Heart Minnie Riperton - Les Fleurs: The Minnie Riperton Anthology Meatloaf - Bat Out Of Hell Mr mister - Welcome To The Real World

N Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats - Nathaniel Rateliff & the Night Sweats The National - Boxer Nico - Chelsea Girl Neil Young - Harvest Moon Neil Diamond - Live At The Troubadour

O Orville Peck - Pony - Show Pony Orla Gartland - Women on the Internet Olivia Rodrigo - Sour

P Phoebe Bridgers - Stranger in the Alps Paramore - After Laughter Prince - Purple rain The Mamas & the Papas - The Papas & the Mamas The Police - Zenyatta Mondatta Paul Simon - There Goes Rhyming Simon - Graceland Pat Benatar - Crimes of Passions

Q Queen - Greatest Hits

R The Regrettes - Feel Your Feelings Fool - How Do You Love - Further Joy Ramones - Ramones

S The Sheepdogs - Live At Lees Spice Girls - Spice The Strokes - Angles

The Struts - Strange Days

Silk Sonic - An Evening with Silk Sonic

Simon and Garfunkel - Bridge Over Troubled Water

T Taylor swift - Lover - Folklore - Evermore - Midnights Trixie Mattel - Two Birds/One Stone - Barbara Twin shadow - Eclipse - Twin Shadow Tears for fears - Songs From The Big Chair Toto - Toto IV Toronto - Get It On Credit Talking Heads - Remain in light

W Whitney Houston - Whitney - Whitney Houston

Y Yola - Walk Through The Fire - Stand For Myself Years and Years - Palo Santo

Z The Zombies - Odessey and Oracle - Oddities and Orcales

123 The 1975 - The 1975 - Being Funny In A Foreign Language

Movie Soundtracks - Labyrinth - The Virgin Suicides - Eternal Sunshine of - School Of Rock - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind - Promising Young Women - Josie and the Pussycats - Almost Famous -Rocky Horror Picture Show - Up - Space Jam - Little Shop of Horrors - Grease - Saturday Night Fever - Xanadu - Ghostbusters - St. Elmo’s Fire

Television Soundtracks - The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina - Stranger Things Vol 1/2 - Stranger Things Vol 3 - Euphoria Season 2 - Steven Universe

Musicals - In the Heights - Hair

#record collection #vinylrecords #167 total I think (but I lost count)#katy blogs

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theartistknownaslymond · 2 years

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Francis in Russia for the playlist ask please!

This was actually astonishingly fun, and much easier than I expected, because there are so few Russian bands from the time whose lyrics I can find in English and whose music I'm happy to stream right now. Despite that, I'm probably going to have to have a daily listen to Go_A just to balance it all out.

Feared before God and the Devil

A band AU playlist for hiding your feelings behind the Iron Curtain

Falco - Einzelhaft [solitary confinement] Boney M. - Rasputin Mark Bernes - Журавли [zuravli/cranes] Steve Miller Band - Abracadabra Mashina Vremeni - В добрый час [v dobryi chas/good luck] Dschinghis Khan - Moskau Kino - Ночь [noch/night] Eurythmics - Sexcrime (1984) Akvarium - Пепел [pepel/ashes] Strannye Igry - Metamorfozi [metamorphoses] Kino - Растопите снег [rastopite sneg/falling snow] Akvarium - Танцы на грани весны (tantsy na grani vesny/dancing on the verge of spring) Mashina Vremeni - Пока горит свеча [poka gorit svecha/while the candle is lit] Kino - Проснись [prosnis'/passers-by] Akvarium - Рок-н-ролл мертв [rok n roll mertv/rock and roll is dead] Joanna Stingray - Love is No Joke Bauhaus - Ziggy Stardust Eurythmics - Greetings from a Dead Man Pentangle - Lord Franklin

Comments below the cut, as usual!

Apparently Abracadabra was a huge disco hit in Russia. Same with Rasputin and Moskau, so...I’m hardly going to leave the bangers off the playlist! I snuck Falco on as a kind of bridge to the Russian stuff, and because the lyrics fit so well.

The Mark Bernes song was the last one he recorded - he was a beloved Soviet celebrity of Jewish ancestry, and ‘Cranes’ was recorded when he knew he was dying. Kino, Akvarium and Strannye Igry are all underground rock groups from the ‘80s (all from the Leningrad scene) whose music was smuggled out by Joanna Stingray and released on the compilation ‘Red Wave’, which came out after Francis gets back from Russia, but opens the door to these artists being able to use official recording studios and play officially sanctioned venues. Mashina Vremeni are a Moscow band formed at the same time.

Purely by chance, I find that the Kino song I put on Francis’ pining playlist was actually recorded in English by Joanna Stingray in the late ‘80s. So I put her version on here, and I am considering the potential, as a parallel to the ‘yunitsa’ nickname, of Philippa not understanding the original lyrics very well and then being blindsided when she gets hold of the Joanna Stingray version.

Eurythmics’ 1984 themed album is there for the air of menace, for Francis and his band being followed everywhere by KGB agents including Ivan and his documentary crew. Bauhaus bring a gothy ‘80s vibe to Ziggy, and probably encapsulate the way the world sees Francis and his constantly changing array of backing musicians. And Lord Franklin for being sad and near-death in cold places far from loved ones/kind of a Willoughby reference though I haven’t yet figured out what his parallel is in the AU.

The photos are from a Russian digital archive. The musicians is an untitled photo by L. Zhaleiko, and the child and dog is ‘friends’ by Valerie Shustov.

1) '[On cold channels, the illusion of free choice / Doors of steel locking out time / Pink-orange filters, chemistry is enlightening you / If you're not capable of living, you're gonna die, too / Your guilt will never be forgiven]' 2) 'He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Tsar / But the kazachok, he danced really wunderbar / In all affairs of state, he was the man to please' 3) '[A day will come I'll join the cranes in flying / In their flock through evening glaucous haze / From high above I will be sadly crying / For all I knew and loved in those days]' 4) 'I heat up / I can't cool down / My situation goes 'round and 'round' 5) '[Let it be like the thread was never tightened / Not worth running, not worth staying back / It's been like this forever- easy to speak, Harder to play out, especially to sing]' 6) '[Moscow / Foreign and mysterious / Towers of red and gold / As cold as ice / Moscow / Who really knows you / knows a fire burns / in you so hot'] 7) '[Well, but I've always loved the night. / And it's my business - to love the night, / And it's my right - into the shadow to go away.'] 8) 'And so I face the wall / Turn my back against it all / How I wish I'd been unborn / Wish I wasn't living here.' 9) '[My efficiency increases with each passing day; / I love my walls, I call them "home". / I receive signals from different sides; / I sleep and see ashes in my dream.]' 10) '[I thought that the crying was laughter, / I confused the darkness for light, / Confused death for life / And myself - for someone else!'] 11) '[I cannot live without her anymore. / Help me, / Please, help me... / I cannot live without warmth anymore, / Help me, / I’m begging, help me...'] 12) '[I could write an epic story, / But why would I risk loosing my camouflage? / I could take a canvas and a brush. / But it ain't gonna change anything.'] 13) '[there are some days when you lose your heart / and there're no words, no music, and no strength left. / on days like these i was away from myself / and never asked anyone for help.'] 14) '[Every day you get back home when it's already dark / Every day you travel in subway when it's already dark / As for her, she lives in the centre of all cities / You want to to have her near you / But you've got to travel home 'cause it's already dark.'] 15) '[Elbow to elbow, a brick in the wall; / We stood too proud, we paid triple the toll. / For those who have waited, for those who have marched, / For those who will never forgive us that.'] 16) 'When the night's standing still / I can hear you play your guitar / But the tune, it seems so far / I took time to drink Slèzá / Your floor is my ceiling / So near but sometime away / But my beats with no delay / Alone in Russia, price I’ll have to pay.' 17) 'So where were the Spiders / While the flies tried to break our balls? / Just the beer light to guide us / So we bitched about his fans / And should we crush his sweet hands, oh...' 18) [instrumental] 19) 'With a hundred seamen he sailed away / To the frozen ocean in the month of May / To seek a passage all around the pole / Where we poor seamen do sometimes go...'

#band au: ringed castle #character: francis crawford #playlists: period appropriate #really proud of this tbh

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spenciegoob · 3 years

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Unfolded (Request)

A/N: hey hey hey... I’m gonna be honest this was super hard for me to write I absolutely hate the idea of being outed/outing someone, but I just channeled that anger into writing how much of a douche reader’s ex is... so enjoy and THANK U FOR THE REQUEST I LOVE GETTING REQUESTS I LOVE YOU <3

Summary: When an ex comes back to reveal a secret about Reader to Spencer, Reader prays it’s not the final straw in their relationship. (Requested)

Pairing: Spencer x Gender Neutral Ace!Reader

Category: Angst/fluff

Content Warnings: being outed, acephobia, bad break up, coming out

Masterlist

Word Count: 1.4K

____

When I agreed to go out with the team for drinks after a rather gruesome case, I didn’t also agree to hiding out in the bathroom while a particularly awful ex ruined my brand new relationship.

Doctor Spencer Reid wasn’t quite like anyone else the world had to offer. He was brilliant in a way that made other people jealous, and while his mind was filled with statistics and the hard facts of the universe, his heart was soft. Spencer was kind, laying a blanket of serenity across the people he came in contact with, and I was lucky enough to be gifted his love.

Spencer Reid was mine, and in turn, I was his.

But that also meant that along the way to finding him, there had been some mistakes. I gave my heart to people who didn’t deserve it, watched from the sidelines as they smashed it to bits all because I was “a freak,” “weird.”

“Different.” I was once called different like it didn’t hurt as much as the others, but it did. The man who said those horrible things to me as he stormed out of my apartment as if I did something wrong was out there, sitting at the bar, telling my lover just how different I am.

“Hey, if you don’t want to go out, we can go back home and watch a movie. I’ll let you pick this time,” Spencer whispered in my ear as we approached the doors of the bar that held our friends. I couldn’t help but smile at the simple gesture. Spencer cared.

“As tempting as making you watch A Clockwork Orange again is, we’re already here. Let’s just have a good time.” I laughed along with him as he held the door open for me, the smell of cigarettes and booze immediately overwhelming my senses.

“You sure do have a weird taste in movies.” We deposited our coats on the backs of chairs to reserve our spots at the table with our friends before moving through sweaty bodies to the bar.

I ordered my usual rum and coke, and a water for Spencer knowing he wouldn’t be drinking tonight. As I went to continue our conversation from earlier however, a voice I wish I could forget came from behind me.

“Isn’t this a sight for sore eyes.” John, a man not worth the time or energy it takes to deal with his immaturity. The kind of man who only wants one thing, and wreaks havoc when he doesn’t get it.

“Hi, John.” I would’ve said more, but what could I have possibly said? It’s good to see you? It’s not, and I’m not lying to boost the man’s ego.

Spencer must have felt the discomfort practically screaming out at anyone who looked at the interaction between me and my ex, because he came to stand next to me, the height added from me sitting on the bar stool enough for Spencer to rest his arm around my shoulder.

“I didn’t expect to see you here. It never really was your kind of scene.” You didn’t know me at all, John.

“Yeah, well, uh, I’m... my friends-”

“I’m Spencer, and you are?” Oh thank god.

“John. One of (Y/N)’s exes.” I want to slap that god damn stupid smile right off his face and watch the way he- “You’re Spencer, the coworker, right?”

“Boyfriend, actually.” He said it with such pride, happiness about the 9 letter word evident in his tone that I couldn’t help but rest my head on his shoulder with a small smile of my own.

“Oh, wow. I guess you know then, right?” My blood ran cold. No, no no no this can’t be happening. Not now, not ever.

I have to get out of here.

“What?” Spencer asked. He looked down at me with pure confusion before returning his attention back to John. Rookie mistake.

“I’ll be right back.” It was stupid of me, I know. I got up and left Spencer all alone with no defenses against the army that was John’s condescending tone, but I couldn’t stay there. I knew what was coming, and I knew I couldn’t stop it.

So I ran, crashing into drunk 20 something year olds and bodies grinding on the dance floor until I reached the bathroom. By the time I made it inside, the music dulled so I could hear my own thoughts, I was already hyperventilating.

I don’t know how long I stayed in there when there was a knock at the door. All I know was that my eyes were red and puffy, and whoever was at the door would just have to wait.

“(Y/N)? It’s me, Spencer.” I didn’t reply, just held my breath hoping that he believed I was somewhere else. Where the hell else could I go?

“Can you open the door? Please?” No part of me wanted to face the man on the other side of the door. I knew what was waiting for me.

Disgust, and anger for lying to him for so long, for roping Spencer into a relationship without sharing a key component of myself as if I could keep it a secret for so long.

What did I expect in two months from now when Spencer wanted to take the next step? Was I just going to run and hide the way I did tonight? It was stupid, and cruel, and-

“Come on, let’s go watch A Clockwork Orange again.” Spencer Reid knew how to get my feet moving. I didn’t care how crazy I must look right now. If tonight was the last night I’ll be able to love him, what’s the point of trying to hide my distress?

But when I opened the door and fully expected Spencer to be red in the face, eyebrows furrowed over raging eyes, I was surprised to find a very different expression.

There he was, with that soft, awkward smile that made him look like the most adorable frog, handing me my coat like everything was right in the world.

I guess it was, because there he was, just being so authentically Spencer Reid.

“Let’s go home.” One obstacle: out of the way.

No matter how hard Spencer tried, the ride home was still awkwardly silent with the exception of the soft, classical music coming from the radio. I could feel the way my restless leg shook the car at stop lights, but he had the decency to pretend my anxious tendencies weren't so vicious.

It didn’t stop him from asking. “Are you okay?”

“What did he say to you?” I questioned right back. I wanted to know, needed to know, because if John’s sick smile wasn’t indicator enough, Spencer Reid just listened to my ex air out my dirty laundry.

“It’s not important what he said to me. I will wait an eternity for you to be ready to tell me. Now answer me, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I think I am.” And it was the truth. I was okay, because Spencer wasn’t like John, he wasn’t like any other man, really.

Spencer Reid was gentle, pulling my flower from the ground with careful hands to make sure my roots came with it instead of selfishly breaking my stem, and watching me wither.

I knew he would never let me wither away, not alone at least.

“I’m asexual.” Spencer was silent for a moment, not taking his eyes off the road, until finally, after enough time for my leg to start bouncing again had passed, he spoke.

“Okay.” It was so authentically Spencer Reid, yet, I couldn’t stop my shocked expression.

“You- you’re not... mad?” At this point, Spencer had reached our apartment and as he was parking, he slammed the breaks harder than necessary, jolting me forward. I don’t know if he was trying to knock the thought out of my head, or if I finally struck a nerve, but he turned to look at me like I was preposterous.

“Why would I ever be mad about that? I’m not in this relationship expecting you to, uh, you know. You’re you, and that’s more than enough.” I didn’t realize I was crying until he reached over to brush away a tear with his thumb.

“I love you so much, and that includes everything about you.”

“I love you too, Spencer.” And it was the truth. I was so deeply in love with him that everything else in the world seemed so dull.

“A Clockwork Orange?” Spencer Reid knew just the thing to get me smiling again.

___

Join a taglist here Tell me your thoughts on this fic here Have a request? Send it in here

Requested by: @televisiondreamstomorrow

Taglist: @the-girl-who-writes-fanfiction @haylaansmi @masumiyetimziyanoldu @cielo1984 @rexorangecouny @username2002 @calm-and-doctor @pieceofried @mermaidshmari @missyoumaybank @everythingbutnormal @seasonfivereid @no-honey-no @muffin-cup

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sleepyseguin · 3 years

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tyler seguin | i still see your face (nsfw)

summary: you and tyler break up. it’s harder than you thought it would be.

a/n: highly recommend listening to driver’s licence by olivia rodrigo to get the whole vibe. my spotify must think i have a problem by the constant repeat.

It’s not like you haven’t had a break up before. It’s just that this one feels different. Raw. A ragged edge that’s been torn. You drink too much beer and sleep too little. Your friends rally around you, of course they do, drag you to clubs with too many teenagers, tell you they never liked Tyler anyway. But the lie is thin, and in the dim bathroom of the bar one says, but why did you guys break up? What happened? You blink at her, mouth tasting of tequila. I don’t know.

-/-

Of course you know. You’re an adult. You made this decision together, sat on his couch. One of his throw pillows hugged to your chest so he couldn’t see the way your hands were shaking.

“If this is really what you want,” Tyler had said, and you could hear the scratch in his throat, the way his eyes shone too bright. Unshed tears.

You hadn’t been able to speak, tongue too thick, hot tears on your cheeks, fresh ones ready to replace as they dried sticky on your chin.

He was away from home too much. Your lives were going in different directions. You had opportunities to travel with work, and it’s not like he could come with you. It was best to do it now, a clean break, rather than struggle on, slowly tearing.

You’d cried all the way home from his house, struggling to keep the wheel straight. Your mother would have been horrified by the reckless driving. When you’d finally dared to look at your phone, that first night alone, Tyler’s text made you sob all over again. I love you. Always.

-/-

You talk to him, sometimes. You can’t help yourself. It’s like an itch that becomes unbearable. You have to scratch. Meaningless text message chains. How are you? Fine, you? I’m okay. I miss you. I miss you too. You know it’s not helpful, not the path towards healing that your married friends preach. But it makes it easier to sleep. Knowing he’s still out there. It’s a blissful kind of agony when he texts you unprompted, in the middle of the night, sometimes the middle of the afternoon. I think of you all the time or I dreamt about you or I thought I saw you at the game. Your own misery overwhelms. Winter sets in. You struggle through grey days, take the long way home to drive past his street. Pray you don’t see another car next to his.

-/-

You cry on the phone to your mother, great big sobs like a child does when they’ve lost their favourite toy. She tells you she’ll fly out.

“No, it’s okay. I’m a big girl. I can do this.”

“You can,” she assures, but the surety seeps away as soon as you hang up. A bottle of wine in front of the television. Take out. You’re either starving or not hungry at all now. You only watch ten minutes of an episode before you’re switching to the NHL channel. It’s too hard to forget the schedule. It’s like a reminder in your brain when you wake up in the morning, he’s playing today. You used to nap together, in the afternoons before games. The weak sunlight, the dancing dust mites. A Friend’s episode turned low. Tyler would reach for you in his sleep, nuzzle into your neck. Like he could never get close enough. Like he knew you would leave one day.

-/-

A mutual friends birthday. You’d tried to make excuses, but even you didn’t believe them.

“It’s worse to avoid him,” your friend says, “It will only make it harder later.”

So in an effort to do the Right Thing, to be a Big Girl, and Move On, you find yourself drinking too strong punch, pieces of apple and orange floating in a plastic cup, leaning into a guy you just met and laughing too loud.

And it is fun. For awhile. A mix of old friends and new. Loud music. And for most of the night, he’s not there. He’s so late you think he’s not coming. And you pretend you’re crying because you’re relieved and not because you’re disappointed. You’ve been smart enough to take yourself to the bathroom for the small meltdown, bent over the counter and taking deep breaths. You’re too old to be getting this smashed at a house party. It’s hard to focus on yourself in the mirror, bending light. It’s a good thing he’s not coming, you tell yourself, and wish you could believe it.

You’re headed to the kitchen, the sink full of ice and hiding your drinks. Tyler is there. Tyler is there, standing in the hallway, talking to the host. His big hand makes the beer he’s holding look like a kid’s toy. He’s laughing, crinkly eyes, the sound reaching you. Slapping the guy on the shoulder, enjoying the joke. He’s so happy. How can he be so happy?

Dark eyes meet yours, the fall of his mouth from the grin. He goes to say something, call out maybe, but you’re turning away already, pushing back into the lounge room, the backdoor. Fresh air. Cold crisp of a Texan winter. The weather reporters are saying it might snow this year. He finds you. Of course he does. In the back-garden, looking up at the moon, counting stars. Your name in a familiar voice. The way he says it makes your heart hurt. You can barely look at him, the grass moving under your feet as you turn to face him. Curls peeking out from under a beanie. Black hoodie, dark jeans. You recognise the hoodie. You used to wear it to bed sometimes.

“Hi,” you say, trying to be causal, wanting desperately to be, but at the same time you’re reaching out, clinging onto his arm. Don’t ever let go again.

Tyler smiles, sad and small, “It’s nice to see you.”

“Yeah,” you breathe, head back, gazing up at him. The moon has nothing on Tyler. Come back to me, you want to say, but this is your fault. You did this. You made this happen.

“I wanted to talk to you,” he says, and you think yes, yes, just ask me, I’ll come back I promise, “I think it’s better if we don’t talk anymore. It’s too hard.”

“Oh,” you say. It suddenly seems so much colder out here. “Okay.”

You watch him walk away, back into the house, the light of the party. And if you cry in the Uber on the way home, no one else has to know.

-/-

The first time you sleep together, afterwards, you could almost convince yourself it’s an accident. Not talking hadn’t lasted long. A loss, a commiserating text, a wish to just go back to the way things were. We can, you’d said, just for one night.

It’s almost awkward, the way he’s a stranger around you again. He looks tired, sore, sweatpants and a hoodie. Pink cheeks from the cold outside. His hair is still damp from the shower, curling around his ears. You want to stay here, like this, forever, letting him sit you down in the bed, holding your face in his big hands to kiss you from where he stands between your knees. The way Tyler says your name, wanting, needy. The press of his body on yours. You missed this. You missed this so much. It would never be the same with anyone else. The way he touches you, so carefully, so purposefully. He knows just how you like it, just how you work together.

It’s a habit, for you to be on top after a game, not worth making him expend any more energy. But he fights you for it, doesn’t let you settle, rolls you over onto your back again. You protest, mildly.

“It’ll make you sore,” you say, can’t stop touching him, his hair, his face, his back, his chest. His skin is warm from the hoodie.

“Don’t care,” Tyler says, a crooked smile, nudging his nose against yours, “I want it like this, want to see you properly.”

Your heart is broken and remade simultaneously. It’s all you can do not to pull the doona over both of you and hide forever, keep him here like a prisoner. Cherish him for an age. His mother would never forgive you.

Your body aches for him, as he nudges open your legs, kisses your mouth, your neck, your breasts. You should take your time, enjoy it, the last time, but you can’t help but surge towards the end.

“Want you inside me,” you whisper, fingers on his hips, angling him.

“Yeah,” Tyler rasps, aligning himself, “Fuck. Yeah, please.”

The relief of him sinking home, the opening of your body to him. It’s too easy, almost, the rhythm he settles into. Your legs tight around his waist, groaning when he pulls one up over his shoulder, finds a new angle. A big hand palming at your breast, the way he says your name, thick and low. You come a few moments before him, get off on the way he watches you, holds you, fingers caressing just above where he slides in and out of you. It takes everything not to cry, the final release, the drop of endorphins.

Tyler shakes when he comes, a whole body shudder as he holds himself deep, panting against your ear. You stare at the ceiling and blink away tears. How could you ever have walked away from this? Nothing feels right unless he’s here.

Later, he gets up to leave, but you reach out before he can get out of bed.

“Please stay,” you whisper, pathetic. Tyler’s a shadow in the dark, but he’s warm when he slides back under the covers, gathers you up against his chest. You can hear his heartbeat as you fall asleep.

-/-

It takes you another week to swallow your pride. You call your mother, again, cry on the phone, again.

“I think I was wrong, I think I made a huge mistake.”

“If he is who you say he is,” she counsels, “He’ll forgive you.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

You’re convinced that someone will be in your parking spot the whole drive to his house. A new car. A girl’s car. You can’t breathe along his whole tree lined street, until you see the empty spot. Like it’s waiting for you. Like it has been this whole time.

You almost slump into him when he opens the door, the relief, the grief. He’s surprised to see you. Sleepy. Got in late last night from a Roadie. The dogs are everywhere at once, bumping you into each other as they try to get a cuddle. Tyler stumbles into you, forced by Marshall’s heavy tail. Your hand on his ribcage, steadying. Are you really going to do this? On his front step? Behind him, you can see your red coat on the coat hook. So that’s where it was. You’ve been looking for it in the cold. And he’s kept it, this whole time. Waiting for you.

“I’m sorry,” you say, “I’m so, so sorry.”

Tyler shakes his head, confused, furrowed brow, “What’s going on?”

“I made a mistake. I made a stupid mistake. I got scared, and I panicked. The truth is. I love you. And I’ve never loved anyone like I love you. And it’s scary. I’m so scared. But I shouldn’t have taken it on you like this. It was wrong. And if you can’t. If you can’t forgive me I understand. But. I really, really want you, too.”

He says your name, quietly, prayer like. Your hand is still on his chest.

“Are you sure?” He asks, and the dogs are still all around you, the front door is wide open. Tyler’s socked feet on the porch.

“I’m so sure.”

And he’s laughing. He’s laughing. And he’s kissing you. Warm and fresh and familiar. And then you’re laughing and then you’re crying and Tyler is just holding, holding, holding you.

And along the street, a warm breeze blows through the trees. The promise of summer.

#tyler seguin #tyler seguin imagine #hockey imagine #hockey fanfic #nhl imagine #tyler seguin smut #hockey smut #imagine

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roseisreading · 3 years

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I cannot believe that we are already in June. I don't know where the time has gone. This month, I thought it would be fun to do the mid-year book freakout tag! This is a really popular tag on YouTube, and you can find the creators of the tag here and here. Also, thank you to Ellias from his channel Ellias for writing the questions out.

The Questions:

1. Best book you’ve read so far in 2021.

Alright so right off the bat we're going to have a tie here. After I finished The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern I wanted to reread it immediately. Lovely War by Julie Berry was a bit of a wildcard buy back in January, and it turned out to be so beautiful and emotional and hopeful that it immediately jumped into the running for favorite.

2. Best sequel you've read so far in 2021.

So I haven't read a ton of series or sequels this year, but I guess it will have to be Empire of Storms by Sarah J. Maas. I was enthralled by reading this. There was so much action and heartbreak, and the last few chapters completely broke me.

3. New release you haven't read yet, but want to.

Hmmmm. This came out about a month ago, but I haven't had a chance to read it yet. It is The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green.

4. Most anticipated release for the second half of the year.

Cloud Cuckoo Land by Anthony Doerr. I was approved for an ARC of it on NetGalley, and when I tell you my jaw hit the floor and I danced in excitement, I'm not exaggerating.

5. Biggest disappointment.

The Guest List by Lucy Foley. I was so excited for it, because it seemed like something I would love. I was so disappointed when the characters weren't relatable or lovable and just all around unlikable.

6. Biggest surprise.

Clap When You Land by Elizabeth Acevedo. I knew that it was probably going to be a great book, but wow was I blown away. I listened to the audiobook which really brought the story to life. The emotion of the author and the other voice actor brings you into the story and will captivate you to the very last word.

7. Favourite new author. (Debut or new to you)

Ruta Sepetys has become an auto-buy author for me now.

8. Newest fictional crush.

I don't know, I don't really crush on characters that hard. Maybe Ned Lightbourne from The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels?

9. Newest favourite character.

I can't pick just one lol. However, if a movie was made of The Night Circus, I would like to be Celia, if a movie was made of The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels, I would like to be Cecilia. They're both just interesting people to me. I am also quite fond of Aphrodite and Hazel from Lovely War.

10. Book that made you cry.

Salt to the Sea and Between Shades of Gray by Ruta Sepetys.

11. Book that made you happy.

The House in the Cerulean Sea. So good.

12. Most beautiful book you've bought so far this year (or received)

If we're talking covers, The Wisteria Society of Lady Scoundrels. If we're talking actual story, Lovely War.

13. What books do you need to read by the end of the year?

All the books on my NetGalley account lol. I would also like to read The Priory of the Orange Tree, Infinite Country, The Vanishing Half, These Violent Delights, and The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo

Well, thank you for sticking around! I hope you enjoyed!

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yoongimingle · 2 years

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Parallels | Chapter 8

Synopsis: Jin is a chef working at a restaurant, struggling with the wrath of his horrible boss. Coming home every night to support his Mother, drug abusing since the departure of her husband 2 years ago. Yoongi is a shy piano teacher, secretly releasing rap music under the alias 'Agust D', using his lyrics as a coping mechanism for the anxieties in his own life. Hoseok is the owner of dance academy 'Hope World', he loves his life, but something's missing. He feels strangely empty. Namjoon is a university lecturer, living his own groundhog day as he teaches day after day. Dealing with emotion by writing rap lyrics he swears he'll never release. Jimin is a dance instructor at 'Violet Academy', hating the management and chasing a new adventure, he wants his own academy and will stop at nothing to get it. Taehyung is an aspiring actor, barely making ends meet, unhappy and in search of a big break to end his misery. Jungkook is a personal trainer at 'Purple Place Fitness', he was black mailed into it by his ex, but he needs a way out. He desperately wants to start his Youtube channel, but needs to deal with life first. How do these seven men living different, parallel lives all intertwine? Read to find out.

7 boys are super angsty and need some comfort in life and they all provide through various chance meetings.

Tags: angst much angst as usual, a lot of anger

Author note: Wow sorry for the long gap again I've been chipping away at this chapter constantly the whole time and only got 5k words but I figured I'd rather just post it now so I can get those stories done and move on to the next ideas because Namjoon needs more storyline so next chapter will be a Joon chapter

All chapters!

Taehyung

The sun hasn’t even risen yet, it must be early, too early to wake up for sure, but here Taehyung is: wide awake. He doesn’t dare to look at the time because he knows it’ll just depress him considering it’s a day off and he really wanted to lie in. Through the crack in the curtain he can see that the sky is that funny dark burnt orange colour that means it must be nearing sunrise but still very much night time. He had woken up to the feeling of emptiness in his core. Not a physical emptiness, but a deep lonely emptiness. He wonders if he’s being completely overdramatic. Considering what Jin’s been through, who is he to feel so much emotion right now? Jin had done nothing wrong, nor Hoseok or Jimin, yet he was mad at all of them. The kind of mad that you bury deep inside yourself so as to pretend that you’re not mad, but inside you’re raging like a fire.

Jin lay in the room just next door, sound asleep on the sofa and yet Taehyung felt alone. Mind foggy with the knowledge that Jin would be packing up and leaving him to live his new luxury life with his new best friend Hoseok and clearly he would forget all about Taehyung, or at least that’s what his irrational thoughts are telling him. The stupid, irrational part of his brain screamed that everyone leaves him, they take what they want and then leave him here all over again in his shoebox flat to spend his days alone and bored again.

Taehyung hadn’t even noticed he was crying until he heard a soft knock on his door.

“Tae?” a quiet voice calls. Taehyung sniffs loudly and blinks away the tears, attempting to pretend that he’s not crying.

“I’m coming in,” Jin announces before pushing the door open carefully. Taehyung quickly rolls onto his side to face the wall, away from the door.

“You okay?” Taehyung asks stoically, trying to sniffle quietly.

“Me? I came here to ask you just that, I heard you crying,” Jin admits.

“Did I wake you? How did you hear anything?”

“Uh, well you were sort of whimpering, I don’t mind though, do you want to talk?” Jin offers kindly. Taehyung shakes his head, the rustling of the pillow being the only clue for Jin that he had shook his head, seeing as the room was dark.

“Do you want to talk in the morning?” Jin presses.

“It is the morning, Jin,” Taehyung retorts, letting a grain of anger slip out in those words.

“Sorry,” Jin mumbles, backing out of the door quickly to retreat back to the sofa. Taehyung sighs as a pang of guilt kicks him from the inside out, and he gets up quickly to rectify his minor outburst. He opens the door and shuffles to the sofa where Jin is lying on his back, arms folded and blanket strewn over him carelessly. Jin looks up at a tear stained Taehyung standing over him, expression softening quickly as what little annoyance he had at the situation is blown away into the ether.

“I’m just gonna miss you, okay?” Taehyung admitted, purposely excluding the feelings of anger towards his friends.

“I’m only going to Hobi’s, I’ll still be around, Tae-”

Taehyung groans, “I know, it’s not that, just, I’ll be here alone and I’m just going to miss you, like, being around, I like having someone, you know?” Taehyung completely beats around the bush while Jin narrows his eyes suspiciously, knowing there’s more to it but leaving it for now.

“I’m sorry, I can stay-”

“No!” Taehyung quickly protests, waving his hands, “no you deserve a better life,” he perches on the sofa next to Jin’s legs. “Look, I’m not holding you back, you need this, the others are right, this place is too small for the both of us, I’ve just really loved having you here, having someone here. I know I’m being selfish, I am, I just feel like I took you in and got attached to you and now Hoseok’s come in like ‘I’ll take it from here’, and I don’t know. I’m sorry, I’m rambling, ignore me.”

“Ah...Tae...I- I don’t know what to tell you, I feel horrible now, I’m so sorry,” Jin says sadly, avoiding eye contact all of a sudden. Taehyung feels sick.

“No! I didn’t mean to make you feel bad,” he quickly cries out, wishing he never mentioned it considering Jin just went through the worst thing and now he’s piled guilt onto him too. “I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything.” Taehyung gets up abruptly before Jin can speak and retreats back to his room to hide under his blanket and pretend he doesn’t exist until at least 10am.

He’d fucked it all up, and for what? Kim Seokjin, kind as ever, had been through hell and back and instantly offered to stay holed up in this tiny apartment with him so he wouldn’t be lonely, he would have passed up the opportunity of a well deserved fresh start just because of Taehyung’s clingy nature. This was such a mess and the fact that Taehyung doesn’t really know whether he’s being too dramatic or not is even worse. What if he shared his thoughts and was told he’s being ridiculous? On the other hand what if he gets told he’s being selfish? Everything feels bad and Taehyung just wants the ground to swallow him whole.

Jin

After a sleepless night, the sun finally rises and Jin gets up tiredly to get ready to leave for Hoseok’s house. His new home, for the time being at least. Jin ponders on what to say to Taehyung, he has to say goodbye, right? The guilt sits heavy inside him, knowing that he’d upset his best friend, the friend who had helped him and picked him up off the floor, who had taken him in after not even knowing him for that long. He felt horrible knowing Taehyung was going to feel so lonely, but after everything that happened, he needed to be selfish for once. Living with Hoseok was a big opportunity for him to sort his life out in a good space. Besides, surely he and Taehyung would end up starting to argue if they shared this tiny flat for too much longer? It’s all peachy at the start but it’s a very small space to be together constantly, especially with Jin not working, which also isn’t fair on Taehyung as he wouldn’t be able to help his friend with the rent. At least Hoseok doesn’t need the money for now and Jin can relax knowing he has time to find a job and then find a place of his own with no rush. It had all become so complicated and for what? Is it really him or is it Taehyung’s clingy sensitivity getting in the way?

“Uh, I’m going in a few minutes, Tae…” he trailed off quietly, not knowing whether Taehyung had heard him but guessing he did by the conveniently timed rustle of bedsheets.

“I’m sorry, I really am,” he calls out quietly again, and again gets no response. Jin saunters over to the bedroom door and presses his ear to the wood to hear stifled cries come from inside. His heart sinks.

“Do I get a hug before I go?”

No response.

Jin turns around to leave with both a heavy bag and heart, walking out of the door with his head bowed solemnly. He wonders if Taehyung will crack and come padding out of his bedroom to hurriedly see Jin off before it’s too late and the regret sinks in. But he doesn’t come. Jin consoles himself that this isn’t goodbye, he’s just moving to a house not that far away and will try texting his best friend later on.

“Thanks for picking me up,” Jin smiles sadly at Hoseok as he jumps in the not so subtle mint porsche that’s sitting outside of Taehyung’s dreary apartment block, no doubt drawing some attention to the residents.

“No problem, I’d feel bad watching you arrive on a bus having to carry all your stuff,” Hoseok chuckles, earning a light chuckle in response from Jin.

Holding up his backpack, Jin comments on how he doesn’t have much stuff anyway.

“But still, I have the car and it’s no bother to come and get you,” Hoseok smiles, propping an arm up on the car window ledge as they stop at a red light.

“Thank you, you’ve done so much for me I don’t deserve all this,” Jin mumbles, causing Hoseok to take a hand off the steering wheel to playfully hit him in the arm.

“Hey don’t say that. Of course you deserve this.”

Jin gives a small smile, still weighed down by the thought of Taehyung curled up in bed crying himself sick.

The landscape passes fast as Hoseok’s car speeds down the more open roads of Seoul, until they arrive at his apartment. A very different neighbourhood than the one he was just in for sure. It’s almost crazy that it’s even the same city when he looks at the contrast. The streets are cleaner and shinier, everyone looks busy, everyone’s dressed well, even the various trash and recycling bins are in neat rows rather than strewn everywhere.

“Welcome home,” Hoseok says with enthusiasm, to which Jin plays along as to not seem ungrateful, but nothing else is on his mind except for Taehyung.

As they walk in, the first obvious sight is Jimin laying on the sofa scrolling his phone before he glances over the top of the device to see the pair arrive and quickly sits up to wave happily.

“Oh yeah I forgot to say Jimin’s here because...well, Jimin’s always here,” Hoseok jokes, to which Jimin nods like an excited puppy who just got a treat. Hoseok walks over to ruffle his hair fondly.

“Are you okay, Jin?” Jimin asks gently, observing the sombre expression Jin was currently sporting, one that Hoseok hadn’t noticed as he thought he was hiding it pretty well. Jin wonders if Jimin usually picks up on things like this, a true empath.

“Yeah…” Jin trails, exhaling deeply.

“Here,” Hoseok calls, emerging from the kitchen that Jin didn’t even notice he had been in, “I’ll take your bag to your room while you get your bearings around here. Your room is first on the left at the top of the stairs.”

Jin gratefully takes the heavy bag off his shoulders and passes it to Hoseok who whisks it away quickly.

“Aw, your room is next door to mine!” Jimin chirps.

“You have your own room here?” Jin asks curiously.

Hoseok, clearly still hearing the conversation from halfway up the stairs, calls out, “just think of Jimin as the stray dog that doesn’t really live here but gets food, water and a bed from me just because he’s so cute!”

Jimin smiles with his eyes while pulling the sleeves of his white hoodie down to make sweater paws and standing up from the sofa.

“Seriously though, is everything okay? You don’t seem right, I mean I know that’s to be expected but-”

“It’s Taehyung,” Jin blurts out, convinced that saying it aloud will alleviate some of the stress of it from his own shoulders, and Jimin seems like the type of empath that’s willing to share the weight. Jimin quickly sits back down and pats the sofa next to him, prompting Jin to plop down beside him. Taking a mental note of the fact that Hoseok’s sofa is comfier than Taehyung’s bed, and feeling even worse, “this sofa’s comfier than Tae’s bed,” he groans, not meaning for his thoughts to spill aloud. Jimin makes a noise of agreement, clearly catching on to the situation straight away.

“You feel bad for leaving Tae in his small apartment while you come to live in such a nice place,” he states. Jin nods slowly. “I’m sure he’ll be okay, he knows it’s the best thing for you.”

“No, he’s upset, like really upset,” Jin admits.

“Did he tell you that?”

Jin nods.

“Jeez, way to make you feel even worse,” Jimin comments in a mildly harsh tone, his sassy nature seeping out a small bit.

“No, no it’s not like that, I heard him crying last night so I went to talk to him and he said he’s going to miss me but then got even more upset because he knew that made me feel guilty. He really does mean well, I just feel so horrible for letting him help me and give me a place to stay then just up and leaving for somewhere better while he’s still there, alone again and still struggling for money,” Jin explains, studying Jimin’s face for a reaction but he just nods in understanding.

“In that case, I feel for both of you. You need to think of yourself for once, but you feel bad for leaving Tae after everything he’s done, Tae feels upset that you’re leaving and also feels guilty about making you feel guilty, it’s a messy situation but you’re not in a place to be helping Tae right now and he’s also not in a situation where he can help you as much as Hobi can. Maybe Tae just needs someone he can hang out with more?” Jimin thinks for a minute, “hey, how about this. I’ll go get Tae and take him to my place for the day and dinner tonight to cheer him up and you can spend the evening settling in here with Hobi knowing that Tae has someone. I see Hobi plenty at work anyway and I mainly come here because I get lonely in my apartment but if Tae comes over whenever he wants we can have fun together, besides, he’s a lot closer to my age than Hobi, and you’re closer to Hobi’s age than Tae. It’s perfect, right? The group now has two pairs and a trio, me and Tae, you and Hobi, then Yoongi, Joon and Jungkook have their own thing already.”

Jin blinks slowly, taking in all of the new ideas and developments, but realising he already feels 100x better than he did 5 minutes ago.

“Jimin, that's perfect, you’re a genius!”

“Well I wouldn’t say that,” Jimin responds timidly as if he didn’t just blabber on about friendships for 3 minutes straight. Jimin stands up abruptly to grab his bag and head for the door.

“You’re going already?” Jin asks.

“Of course, I have a Taehyung that needs some immediate cheering up. You can let Hobi know all about it when he comes back down, see you later!” And with that he disappears out of the door, leaving Jin smiling genuinely for the first time in a long while as if puzzle pieces in his life are finally coming together.

Jimin

Jimin pulls up outside of Taehyung’s apartment and bounds to the buzzer happily, pressing the correct number and waiting for a response. It makes a clicking sound signalling that Taehyung must be listening but not talking, no doubt assuming it’s some sort of salesperson who will just leave if no one says hello.

“It’s Jimin,” he announces to the speaker. There’s a pause for a second and then the speaker turns off, making Jimin wonder if Taehyung’s just walking away from it to go back to bed. Before he can press it again, he hears the click of the door unlocking, granting him access to the building. Jimin ascends the stairs skipping every other step to get up faster and appears outside of Taehyung’s door ready to knock before the door opens but the chain lock remains on, Taehyung peeps through the small gap.

“What are you doing here?” he asks softly.

“I realise we haven’t had much interaction yet, but I was wondering if you want to come to my place tonight? You can even stay the night if you want, I have beer!”

Taehyung looks surprised at the sudden offer but removes the chain to open the door fully, revealing him wearing only a white tee and grey underwear, hair messy and sticking up in various places.

“Where’s this coming from all of a sudden?” he asks suspiciously. Jimin sighs.

“Can I come in?”

Taehyung opens the door wider and steps to the side, signalling Jimin to enter. He wanders in and takes a seat at the tiny sofa, wondering if this is what Jin was sleeping on the whole time.

“I was at Hobi’s when Jin arrived and we had a talk about things,” Jimin begins, Taehyung’s face goes a subtle shade of embarrassed pink at the thought of him causing so much upset that a talk needed to happen about him.

“Is Jin okay? I didn’t say goodbye, I should have-” Taehyung starts but doesn’t finish his sentence before looking down remorsefully.

“He’s actually pretty great right now, you wanna know why?” Jimin starts, Taehyung looks up in surprise and nods his head quickly, “because you were both just getting all worked up over the same situation and clashing for no reason! So I told Jin that he can settle in and hang out with Hobi, do what he needs to do to get things back in order for himself, and you can have me. We’re the same age anyway and I see Hobi all the time at work. You can come over whenever you like, we can eat, drink, and play games. Everyone needs a best friend. Hobi and Jin can bond over whatever eldery people usually bond over,” Taehyung laughs softly at Jimin’s quip about their friends’ ages, “Jin can share his wartime memories and all that.”

Taehyung laughs for real now, leaning forward in his seat as he does so. Jimin smiles proudly at the knowledge that he’s basically just resolved what probably felt like a very dramatic situation for the both of them with just a bit of perspective and a simple solution.

Taehyung bites his lip, “I’m really glad you came, thank you,” he says genuinely.

“Of course, we’re friends, that’s what friends do,” Jimin beams.

Taehyung narrows his eyes, “you said everyone needs a best friend, does that mean we’re now best friends? Like in school when you love all your friends but you have that one friend that’s your best friend.”

Jimin laughs, “sure, best friends.”

“Because Jin has Hobi now so he’s going to be alright,” Taehyung asks more than states.

“Yes, Jin’s going to be alright, him and Hobi have lots to bond over,” Jimin confirms.

“Okay. Best friends then,” Taehyung says as he lifts his pinky finger, encouraging Jimin to link his too, to which Jimin chuckles fondly and gives in to the child-like act, linking his pinky with Taehyung’s, sealing the friendship for real.

The pair exit Taehyung’s apartment after a brief gathering of jackets and bags, and take the drive in Jimin’s car back to his place. It’s not a fancy or big apartment like Hoseok’s, nowhere near, but it’s comfortable and definitely spacious enough for 2 people to mill around in. Taehyung observes his surroundings, feeling confident that he could enjoy many fun nights here with Jimin. Gaming, eating and bonding. He also realises how sad it will feel going back to his tiny apartment alone after such nights, but comforts himself in the knowledge that he can always just come back here.

“Your place is so nice,” Taehyung compliments, eyes drawn to the large wall-mounted TV above various game consoles.

“Oh really? I’m glad you like it, make yourself at home,” Jimin says happily, clearly loving the feeling of having company around who can appreciate the space he’s created.

Taehyung settled quickly into the sofa ready to spend a night with Jimin full of laughter, games and chat. His heart felt full for the first time in a while and he wondered maybe if this means that life was finally about to improve. Especially now Jin has a chance at a good life, for his friend’s happiness is a huge part of his happiness. Taehyung can’t stand seeing his friends go through things and finally after all this time Jin might get to be happy. He wonders about Jungkook and how he’s been doing since the incident with his parents, how Namjoon is doing since losing his job, and how Yoongi has been.

“So, what shall we do first?” Jimin asks cheerfully, hunkering down in the sofa space next to Taehyung.

“Anything. Anything is good when it’s with you,” Taehyung replies. Jimin hums before reaching to the side table and grabbing two game controllers, passing one to Taehyung.

“Fifa?”

“As long as you’re prepared to lose,” Taehyung smirks as he accepts the controller.

Jungkook

The time had finally come after what felt like the longest wait ever: the new equipment. Jungkook had been excitedly texting Yoongi about his new setup while he eagerly awaited it’s arrival at the agreed time. Yoongi had been replying quickly, telling him to send photos when it’s set up, truly happy for his friend’s new adventure.

Jungkook would need to figure out a schedule, what would he play and on what days? Would it be set? Does he need an intro for his videos? Something catchy maybe. He didn’t even care that he would start off with zero views, he was just giddy to finally be doing the thing he said he’s going to do for the longest time.

Sure he’d still need to work at the gym for longer, maybe even 1-2 years, maybe more, Youtube channels take a long time to kick off but at least Jungkook feels like he’s hitting the ground running. He isn’t starting off on a dodgy webcam balanced on the top of an old PC like a lot of now successful Youtubers, and he feels so proud.

A firm knock on the door pulls him out of his thoughts and he rushes over, wondering how they got in without ringing his buzzer but figuring the front door must have been held open for them by someone who lives here. He flings the door open to see that the person who delivered it had already disappeared. Strange, but there lay the big box, sealed securely with thick, black packing tape. Jungkook excitedly bends down to pick it up, preparing for the weight of it, but almost falls backwards from the unneeded effort when he realises the box is as light as an empty cardboard box would be. But it’s not supposed to be empty. Jungkook frowns in confusion before rushing to the hallway window to see if the delivery person was still in sight, of course he had no luck.

With a panicked breath, Jungkook brings the box inside his apartment and hurries to the kitchen to grab a knife to cut open the packing tape. He impatiently tears open the box to see no less than what he had started to suspect: an empty box.

Jungkook shakily pulls his phone out of his back pocket to call the person who he had purchased it from, not surprised at all to realise it was obviously a burner phone as the number was now unknown.

It was a scam. This whole thing, all a lie, and what could he do? He’d paid, signed a contract, received the box, the phone number was void and the delivery person was gone. He was so blinded by this big dream and the excitement that he hadn’t checked for any red flags through his whole process, he let his ambition blind him completely. Maybe his family were right, maybe he’d never get anywhere with the Youtube things. This was it, that was all of his money, what’s left?

Jungkook kicks the empty box across the room angrily, not even doing any damage to anything in the apartment. His shoulders rise and fall with his breaths from rage, he needs more, he needs to release anger and he doesn’t know how. He can feel it inside of him like a monster that’s trying to claw its way out and it’s the worst feeling ever. With heavy footsteps he storms over to the box again, picking it up and throwing it back to the ground with a grunt, but feels no better.

Jungkook looks around the room eagerly for something, anything to destroy. His eyes land on his current gaming setup and suddenly the irrational part of his brain turns into a magnet, and the setup is the metal. He walks over slowly, knowing it’s incredibly stupid but he can’t stop. He notices his phone in his hand and calls Yoongi who picks up quickly, sounding excited about the new recording equipment but is met with Jungkook’s heavy breathing.

“Scam, it was a scam, I don’t know what I’m doing, nothing left for me, Yoongi help,” Jungkook manages to stutter out, still traversing shakily to his computer. Yoongi tells him he’s on his way and hangs up. Jungkook drops his phone on the hardwood floor without thinking, no doubt causing at least a small crack in the screen from the impact. But he doesn’t care, nothing matters anymore.

He reaches his desk and stares down bitterly at his computer. What was the point now? He had so boldly told his family he was going to make it, he would get his setup complete and then be a Youtuber. As if. As if he could do it just like that when he couldn’t even successfully buy recording equipment without losing all of his money to a scam, one that probably would have been obvious if he had just been smart for once. His family told him he wouldn’t make it, Areum told him he wouldn’t make it, and they were right. He couldn’t even do the first simple step.

Jungkook steps closer to the desk and glares at the PC tower that sits next to the monitor. With rage overflowing he picks it up, lifts it above his head and smashes it to the ground, watching as computer debris scatters across the floor. What had he done? He stares at the broken bits of plastic and metal for at least 2 minutes straight, in a daze, before snapping out of it and coming back to reality.

Jungkook had fucked up, big time, and now there was no going back. He had no tears to cry, and only wore a blank stare as he slumped to the ground and sat cross legged among the computer debris. His life was over. He had no parents, no Bella, and no computer. What was even the point of personal training? That was only what Areum wanted him to do. He may as well get a 9-5 office job and become an emotionless robot, why did it matter anyway? What was left to care about?

Jungkook then remembered his friends, what were they going to think of him now? He had completely forgotten that he’d called Yoongi just a few minutes ago, he couldn’t let him like this and see what he’s done. Yoongi is so much older and wiser, he’d be so mad at him for ruining everything.

The buzzer to his apartment begins to ring, but Jungkook stays put. Yoongi couldn’t see this, not right now. It continues to ring for a few more seconds before going silent. Had he given up? Jungkook pulled his knees to his chest, still sitting among the debris.

Another minute or so passed before there was a knock on the door. Who had let him in?

“Kookie? It’s me and Namjoon, please open the door,” Yoongi’s voice called out from behind the wood. Jungkook stayed silent hoping they would just give up, he couldn’t handle just Yoongi seeing this let alone Namjoon too.

“Hey, come on open up, what’s happened? We’ll sort something out, I promise,” Namjoon’s voice now says. Jungkook stayed radio silent, hyper-aware of even breathing too loud.

“Wait, did he even lock it?” Yoongi mutters to Namjoon. Oh no. The door swings open and the pair rush in, but stop dead when they see the sight in front of them. Yoongi blinks a few times, while Namjoon just stands with his mouth hung open.

“Please tell me that was some fake decoy they sent?” Yoongi asks cautiously. Jungkook shakes his head no, and Yoongi glances over to his desk to observe the monitor sitting alone without the tower.

“Kookie...what have you done?” Yoongi breathes, approaching Jungkook as if he’s a timid animal.

“I fucked up.”

“Yeah, I can see that…”

Yoongi kneels down next to the still shaking boy, pushing debris away as he does. He pulls Jungkook towards him, wrapping his arms around him.

“Just let it out,” he whispers.

With that Jungkook promptly begins to sob into Yoongi’s chest, shoulders shaking as he does. Yoongi rubs his back and rocks him from side to side like a child, trying to soothe him slowly.

Namjoon joins the pair, crouching on the floor next to Jungkook. He strokes the boy’s hair gently.

“Look it’s not the end of the world, okay? We’ll help you figure this out, there’s always a way,” he speaks wisely. Yoongi hums in agreement with Namjoon, continuing to practically Mother Jungkook to calm him down. Jungkook feels an even mixture of comfort and embarrassment. He wishes no one could see him like this yet he’s also so glad they’re here.

He may not have his parents, or his dog, or a job he likes, but he’s got friends that love him deeply and that will have to be enough for now because it’s all he has.

#bts #bangtan #bts angst fic #bts fanfiction #hoseok #hobi #namjoon #taehyung #bts angst #jhope #yoongi #jin #seokjin #jungkook #bts fic #parallels

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chemicalpink · 4 years

Text

Colours♡ Jeon Jungkook

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x reader

Genre: angst, soulmate AU

Warnings: main character death (implied), suicide attempt (mentioned), mental health issues/ depression.

Word Count: 1.1K

A/N: I originally wanted to do something cute but my hand slipped. This also has a different interpretation of the lyrics from JK’s song Still With You and includes translated parts of it. I’ve wanted to write something out of my comfort zone and ended up even writing it poem-like.

Summary: In a world where you are able to connect with your soulmate via a ring that changes colours according to your soulmate’s feelings, kpop idol Jungkook finds himself writing a song after his experience.

Jungkook knows he should consider himself one of the lucky ones, not only does he have the ring around his finger that indicates the existence of his soulmate, he sometimes swears he can actually talk to you on those lonely nights, the ring shining a bright purple that indicates your peaceful night before he is, wherever you are.

RED

The small piece around his finger flashes red one early morning, he guesses he could blame the timezone for it.

He can't help but wonder if once you are by his side he'll have to take a look at the ring after asking you for the third time in a row if something's wrong and you’ve said everything is okay three times back already.

Are you even supposed to get mad at him if he's your soulmate?

Maybe, somehow he's found a way of fucking it up. An anniversary date. He's always been forgetful about those.

Should he warn you about it as soon as he meets you?

Or perhaps he has forgotten something far more important.

He could have forgotten that you asked him to pick up the kids after school. He is just not used to doing things by himself.

YELLOW

He has been staring at his finger for an hour straight, watching it flicker from yellow to orange and yellow again.

He knows for a fact you’re feeling happy, whatever it is that you’re doing and it makes him wonder if your ring is shinning a bright yellow too, can you somehow know he’s happy because he knows you’re happy too?

Now that he thinks about it, he can count with his fingers the occasions in which he’s seen the bright tone around his finger.

Why do you seem so reluctant to it?

Yellow looks good on you.

Happiness looks good on you.

PURPLE

Is it possible for you to know that purple is his favourite colour?

You seem to wear it whenever he supposes you’re off to bed, a calmness taking over his chest, inside his dreams he can sometimes hear your voice calling his name, your finger most likely coloured pink from the feelings he keeps towards you.

He can’t wait to hear your lips saying his name face to face.

BLUE

There’s a sinking feeling in his chest as he looks out the window, the moon shining brightly in the otherwise dark sky, he can almost hear you calling in the night.

Is it possible for the moon to deliver his feelings to you, wherever you are?

He can swear his life that it is, as the satellite looks down on him, bringing his attention to the blue hue on his finger as he desperately looks for a way to make you feel better.

To make you feel his love.

PINK

His heart is racing in anticipation. He can’t wait to tell you how much he loves what he does for a living.

All the screaming fans in the venue bring him a sense of love and passion for his music.

He wonders if there’s a chance that you already know who he is.

Have you heard all those words he has written for you?

He can only hope you have.

He speaks a wordless promise to come find you, to share his pink colour with you.

WHITE

Is his finger supposed to flash a bright light against the purple of his mic?

The small ring begging him to look up to the sky and watch the moon, the only apparent witness to your love.

It looks like it’s crying brightly in the night sky as it shines the same hue as his finger.

BLACK

He’s felt like his soul has left his body many times before and it had never felt like that.

The once brightly illuminated ring now dead and dull against his flesh.

It can’t be.

This is just some nightmare.

He’ll wake up soon enough to see it shine that bright yellow that you seem to hate so much.

Though I know that the morning will come, I wanted to stay by your sky like a star.

He’s made it to the news. The words seem to keep repeating themselves no matter the channel you zap on.

Kpop idol, Jeon Jungkook has been admitted into one of Seoul’s mental facility after being found inside his apartment following a month of going missing from the spotlight. BigHit Entertainment has stated that while the youngest of BTS’ health is delicate, they are hopeful on stabilising him. The reason behind such incident is yet to be confirmed.

Though I know that the morning will come, I wanted to stay by your sky like a star.

BLUE

The rain is pouring down on him, this is not how he pictured to meet you, he seems to be frozen in place as the sun sets behind you, somehow his mind managing to make him walk towards you one step at a time.

Would you please call my name one more time?

PURPLE

He can’t bring himself to remember when was the last time he let some light in.

The AC sound is the only thing keeping him sane enough to sleep as he remembers the purple tone that you shined on him.

These simple feelings were all I had.

YELLOW

“How’s he holding up?” a few weeks had passed before any of his friends were allowed to visit him while on treatment.

Namjoon watches him as he dances all alone in the rain.

He wonders if somehow, wherever you are, you can feel his change into yellow.

When will it be when I see you face to face, to look at you in the eye and say ‘I missed you’

RED

So now he knows that you can get mad at your soulmate.

His feet are wet as his heart is threatening to burst out of his chest and asks you why wouldn’t you warn him that things were going to be like this.

Only to apologise a few seconds later, saying that if he had known he would have run to you.

He’s made it to the news again.

Kpop idol, Jeon Jungkook, has been dismissed from rehab, all while dropping his first single in a year that is already charting #1 on all available platforms.

Though our steps may not go along together.

I still want to walk this path with you.

Still with you.

#networkbangtan #bangtanarmynet #bts imagines #jungkook imagines #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenarios #jeon jungkook #jeon jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader #jungkook angst #bts imagine #bts scenario #jungkook headcanon #haha im so depressed it hurts #like where did this go wrong #i inteded to do fluff

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thisisthepip · 3 years

Text

To my friend, Steve

Hi,

I woke up at about 6 in the morning, it’s raining cats and dogs here because of the typhoon so I decided to stay in bed and check my phone. After checking my emails, I switched to my facebook account. And then I saw you, asking me if I had a second. I will always have time for you, Steve.

After watching your video, I found myself weeping, I am not even kidding. And I don't know why I did. It’s probably because of nostalgia, as memories of my childhood flashed before my eyes. Afternoons in our living room, in our old house sitting on our sofa, and my grandmother preparing cold orange juice and cheez whiz sandwiches for me and my brother. Singing along to you and Blue when you got mail and yelling at our tv set whenever we see a paw print on objects, because those were your “clues”.

I also remember the day you said goodbye. I was about 6 years old, got home from pre-school and I remember Blue and everyone singing “Steve is off to college” or something to that nature. It sounded fun because it looked like a celebration, but I remember being upset when you got on the bus and we were left with Joe. I remember not watching any Blue’s clues episode after that. Might seem very ridiculous but, I didn’t understand why you had to leave. I think you and Blue sparked my interest in journaling, because I loved it when you’d doodle on the “handy dandy notebook”, my mom even made me one. Thank you.

It can also be because you managed to reach out to the kid in me. I remember writing you a letter too, I asked my mom to mail it for me and watching your video earlier, I guess that was the reply that I never got from you. It was a closure I didn’t know I needed. It hit me hard, I was crying because my friend Steve came back and told me he’s proud of me, that I look good, and that he never forgot about me.

I am now 25 years old, and I guess I never forgot about you too. Thank you, a whole generation had a great childhood because of you, seeing you and hearing your message had a healing effect on me. Some things got hard Steve, you’re right it really did. But we’re still fighting, everyday. Stay safe, stay as lovely as you are.

PS.

Joe didn’t deserve my hatred haha, I remember switching the channel whenever I saw him dancing around in his orange jumper. But he’s cool, Josh is too.

#steve burns #blues clues #childhood #nostalgia #closure #steve and blue #friend #bluesclues25years

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castletownranger · 4 years

Text

Hey Brother

@ineed-moresleep had a birthday and I saw it as an opportunity to show my son some love, sue me

____________________

The fire was dwindling. Time hadn’t even expected it to burn for as long as it had, to be honest. Snow and ice whipped through the air outside the mouth of the cave. Frigid wind swirled inside, every now and then. The old hero knew the storm had been approaching hours ago after seeing the clouds tower in the distance. Storms don’t take very long to form, he knew, but they could rage for days on end.

Using his hands instead of a fire-stick, Time tried to rekindle the blaze. He and his boys had gathered up as much firewood as they could before it all got soaked by the snowfall, but they would soon be out. He looked to the pile of wood next to the fire. Five logs left.

“Time?” Warriors said softly, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Hm?” Time looked up to see the captain’s face, appearing sunken in the light of the dying fire. The orange flicker accented the creases on his face; between his eyebrows, around his mouth. Under his eyes.

“Do we have any extra blankets?” Warriors asked, keeping his tone hushed. “Wind is shivering awful bad.”

Time looked down. Nestled into Warriors’ side, with a wool blanket and the captain’s blue scarf wrapped around him, was Wind. The young hero’s chest rose and fell with the weight of a deep sleep, but his shoulders shook almost constantly. Carefully, Warriors adjusted his scarf so it would drape over more of the small hero’s body.

A memory tugged at the back of Time’s mind.

He stood up. “Let me see what I can find.”

Walking carefully so as to not stir the other sleeping heroes, Time made his way to the back of the cave where Epona rest. Most of the group’s equipment stayed with her, and Time searched through various sacks and backpacks hoping to find anything close to a spare blanket. Just when he was about to deliver the bad news to Warriors, he found something. It wasn’t a blanket per se, but it would work. An orange blade that emanated heat. One of Wild’s.

Time carried it back over to Warriors and asked for Wind’s sheath. “I don’t want it to accidentally cut him while he sleeps.”

Warriors reached behind Wind. The sheath didn’t fit the orange blade exactly, but it would do. Time placed the warm metal in front of the small hero, and Wind reached for it sleepily but immediately.

The old hero sat back down in his spot near the fire. “There. That should keep him warm for the rest of the night.”

“Thank you,” Warriors said. He kept one hand on his scarf to make sure it stayed secure over Wind, and used his other hand gently comb Wind’s hair.

Time watched quietly for a few moments. Warriors was a fierce, some might even say ruthless, fighter. But these moments of gentleness were ones that Time knew well. He remembered what it was like to curl up in Warriors’ lap after a long day on the battlefield; how the captain would drape his scarf over Time’s small shoulders, much like he had done for Wind, and place a hand in his hair. The arm he kept secured around Time as he fell asleep gave him a sense of security he hadn’t felt in ages.

Wind was the safest person in the cave tonight. Even once Warriors fell asleep, nothing would stop him from keeping the person next to him well protected.

Time was pulled out of his thoughts again when Warriors chuckled. “He’s gonna be surprised to wake up and realize he’s cuddling a sword.”

“I’m sure this isn’t the first time he’s slept with a weapon at his side,” Time said. The words came out harsher than he meant them, but Warriors couldn’t tell him he was wrong. Time would guess that all the heroes were accustomed to keeping a blade close, just in case. He remembered how Warriors often would. Knew how he often still did.

“He’s still too young for that, though” Warriors said, his voice taking on a sadder tone.

Time looked up to see the captain’s face had fallen once again. His usually sharp eyes were slightly unfocused, and stared past Wind even as he looked down at him. No doubt staring into other things.

“I’m guessing a lot of us were too young for…that.” Warriors continued. “But Wind, he’s…He should have gotten to stay a kid for longer.”

A fist tightened around Time’s heart. He also wished that Wind could have had his childhood. Time wished that he could have had his own childhood.

No kid should have to grow up as fast as the gods made them.

“I’m sure it helps, having someone like you around,” Time ventured. “He might not have his childhood, but I’m sure you at least give him a sense of family.”

A faint smile ghosted Warriors’ face. “He reminds me of someone, you know.”

Time’s heart tightened again. But he kept his voice steady. “Oh?”

“During my adventure,” Warriors explained, “I met so many people. Each of them brought something new to the battlefield, something unique that helped us win the war. Well, most of them were on the Hyrulean side. Some of them weren’t. But anyway, there was this one young boy who Wind reminds me a lot of. Blonde hair that was always a mess. Eyes that could tell a thousand stories without the kid uttering even a single word. He was so, so small, but he fought with more courage than many of the soldiers I came to know.”

Time smiled. Fighting alongside Warriors’ army had proven to be a challenge, in a different way than stopping the moon from destroying an entire world was, but he remembered what it was like to see Warriors for the first time. A whirlwind across the battlefield, the image of grace and focus that Time always thought real knights would be.

“Who was the boy?” Time dared to ask.

“I don’t truly know his story,” Warriors said. “But I’m willing to bet that he was to young when whatever happened to him happened too.”

I was. Time felt tears pricking his eyes so he turned his gaze back towards the fire for a moment. The flames pulsed and danced even as they were in the process of dying.

“I tried to take care of him the best I could,” Warriors continued. “Never gave me any indication he had parents, or a family, so I kept an eye on him. I never imagined he had an easy life, but he always seemed to be in high spirits. There was a cheerfulness about him that nothing could crush.”

“He does sound a lot like Wind.”

Warriors laughed. “He would always do this thing right before a battle—it was like his signature look—he would place one hand on his sword and the other hand on his hip and yell ‘I got this!’ before running straight into a horde of enemies. The kid had some serious nerve.”

And the power of a terrible, wrathful god flowing through me. Time held back a shudder at the thought of Warriors seeing him channel the Fierce Deity’s power. He wasn’t sure how he was to tell the heroes about that, or if he even wanted them to know at all. “What happened to the boy?” Time found himself asking.

“You mean in terms of where did he go? He’s not dead, if that’s what you’re worried about. At least, the last time I saw him he wasn’t dead.”

“Do you know where he ended up?”

Warriors shook his head. “The little scamp was always running off to places and showing up in a completely new place later. A tricky whipper-snapper, that one. One day he just…decided he didn’t want to come back, I suppose. I’m not sure where he ended up.”

“Well…I’m sure he turned out fine,” Time said, looking back up at the captain. He knew he had to choose his words carefully. “And I’m sure he still cares a lot about you, too. You probably helped him greatly without even knowing it.”

Warriors’ sad expression bloomed into another small smile. “I hope so. That kid was the first baby brother I ever had.”

“I’m sure that—”

Time was cut off by a thud from outside. The older hero and the captain were on their feet in a second. Time turned to Warriors with a finger to his lips. “Stay here. Watch over the others.”

“And let you go alone? Are you kidding me?”

Confidently, deliberately, Time shifted into a stance he hadn’t taken in a while but one that was still familiar to his body all the same. He reached one hand behind him for his sword. Placed the other firmly on his hip. And smiled at Warriors. “I got this.”

Time turned just as Warriors’ eyes were starting to widen.

The cold was instant the moment he stepped outside the cave. It cut through his armor, threatening to lock his bones into place should he stop moving for even a moment. Visibility wasn’t great either; the wind kicked up snow and made the air around him and endless sea of gray. After trudging around for a few moments, he saw that nothing was close to the mouth of the cave where his boys rested. After a few more moments, all he found was a fallen branch from a nearby tree.

Seeing no other tracks besides his own, and satisfied that the monster of a storm had merely claimed a tree limb as one of its victims, Time stumbled back towards the cave. He took off his armor once he was inside, needing to get out of the cold metal, and just barely after he had placed the freezing plates near the fire, Time felt two strong arms wrap around him. Warriors buried his face in the crook of Time’s neck.

It was silent for a few moments, but Time recalled in moments away from the battlefields how Warriors had trained himself to cry silently. The captain’s tears spilled onto Time’s shoulder, and Time brought a hand up to rub his back. “Hey, big brother.”

Warriors’ lip quivered when he pulled away from Time. He placed his hands on either side of Time’s face and looked him over, eyes flickering with the same warmth of the fire behind them. “Hey, baby brother.” Fresh tears spilled from Warriors’ eyes as he spoke. “You weren’t supposed to grow up before I did.”

Time rest his head against Warriors’ shoulder again. “Believe me, I didn’t want to.” It was here that he finally let his own tears fall. Time was vaguely aware of himself repeating over and over I didn’t want to I didn’t want to I didn’t want to, and Warriors whispering that it was okay, that he was safe, that he would make sure he stayed safe now that they were together again. Memories of his long years flooded Time’s mind; waking up as a child in an adult’s body, never quite feeling the age his physical self reflected, the moon leering down at him, a ferocious deity taking control of his limbs, the soldiers who died next to him and Warriors on the battlefield. It felt like too much to be stored in one person.

Warriors wept his own silent tears again as Time allowed himself to cry into his shoulder. After a few moments, Warriors adjusted them so they were sitting side by side, draping the scarf over Time’s shoulders.

“I’d love to hear the boy’s true story, if you’re ready.”

#the hc of Time knowing (and REMEMBERING) Warriors from Hyrule Warriors is god tier #ESPECIALLY if Warriors doesn't remember Time #we love angsty fluff in this house #lucy this ain't gonna live up to your fics at all but I swear I tried my best #happy birthday again kiddo #even though you're a couple centuries old #linked universe fic #ranger writes #time #warriors #wind

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taeguboi · 4 years

Text

BTS HC - Lockdown

In which each BTS member lives with y/n

I’m hoping these imagines might lighten the mood for anyone who might be feeling a bit lonely right now.

Please see the end of post first if you need some context or wish to see the notes

Has good balance of me time and us time

steps back when you both need space

sitting in the back yard on some chair reading a book

taking in the sun

The restrictions don’t hinder him from making sure you both get plenty of sun and fresh air

it isn’t much but in week 1, he gave the back yard a little tidy up

turned it into a place to chill out

so there aren’t any flower planted or decor

but it makes all the difference

there’s chairs, a table and a parasol

to you, this is perfect

Spot of tea under cooler weather

or orange juice under the sun

Board games at the table in the back yard

you tried cards once out there but even just the slightest breeze...

“Goddammit!!!”

The card games are for when it rains

or for when neither of you quite feel like going out today

He swears you’re cheating at UNO

you swear he’s just really bad at it

turns out he keeps saving those wild 4 draw cards too long

which you gather over his last 3 rage quits

because he just slings the cards, revealing them to you

“You play it too safe” you tell him

so he plays it a bit less safe

“Yes! Finally I won!”

“OH! Look at that!” you smile

he smiles back because of how proud you...

“...it’s sunny again!”

‘Goddammit y/n...’

Shopping trips together

not so helpful when the rules get stricter

“One adult at a time please...”

oh dear

who goes in?

so you go in

“Crap! Namjoon has the shopping list!”

this period of time really shows how you complete each other

pretty much every day you each think

“what would I do without him/her?”

Random talks

he tells you about this one book he read

and now you want to read it

so you do

and you can’t take your eyes off it

you find a new love for reading

so sometimes when you both need me time

you remain in the same room, just reading a book each

Every day you feel enlightened

almost sad at the thought of going back to normal life

because you won’t have as much time for yourself

Jin

Everyone is suddenly having the time to cook from scratch

imagine Jin’s frustration since he did this all along

so when certain things he usually gets aren’t in stock

“Oh for crying out loud!”

you sometimes have to calm him down when shopping

and since only 1 adult in at a time it’s like a really awkward phone call

you’re just stood outside alone like

“For Christ’s sake Jin! Calm down!”

but he makes every meal taste great anyway

“Sorry it doesn’t have the usual...”

“Jin, please!” you reply

because it’s still really yummy because

“you’re still the best cook in the world, okay?”

“Okay fine...” he sighs “Thank you”

can I just add here food is the only time you both get hysterical at each other

He still low key hoard particular ingredients when he FINALLY can get them

and you have to explain how irrational he’s being

“We don’t need SIX tubes of tomato puree!”

“Jin... How are we going to use up all THIS fruit and veg before it goes off?”

But he’s not selfish, no

if he’s in a shop and sees someone elderly, he helps them out

“Would you like me to reach that for you?”

“Do you need any toilet paper? There’s 2 packs left - here”

“Here’s my number; let me know if you need me to run any errands for you”

ahh you’re lucky to be living with such a gentleman

Daily walks in the park to feed the ducks

“This is the best kind of exercise” he tells you “...relaxed and where you can connect with nature”

some of the ducks at the beginning of the lockdown are a bit nutty

Jin may or may not be low key scared of that one goose

“I swear it’s giving me the evils”

it may or may not have chased him the second day in

“Wahhhhhh!!!”

*Jin running away in the distance*

You cooked for him that evening

“Honey, I don’t know how to put this...”

“Aw sweetie it’s okay about what happened in the park; I mean you were the one holding the bread and...”

“oh no no” he replies. “this meal is awful”

r00d

but it’s okay

you knew the minute you offered to make dinner it wasn’t going to turn out well

so you both agree the kitchen will be his space to work his magic in during lockdown

and he somehow gets better than he already is at cooking

just woowwww

foodgasm

but neither of you get podgy

Lazy exercises together

chair exercises watching the tv

small periods of jogging in the woods

“oh wow, what’s that?”

you come across some random squirrel

and all of a sudden trips to the park for that daily walk

it turns into a nature watch

bird watching

luckily he forgets about the angry goose

Sometimes talking about what you miss

and then promising to do all of those things when everything is back to normal

so many plans

and it helps you both stay optimistic

because you just created a bunch of stuff to look forward to

Suga

Late night movie marathons

and accidentally getting into a routine of late mornings late nights

Cooking together

because neither of you want to do it

but someone has to

can’t live on instant food for all this time

Night time walks

less people, less danger

please don’t yell at me if we’re not supposed to do this in real life I haven’t actually been out that late during lockdown hahaha

it’s only around a few blocks

but deep talks, you know

There may not be much room in the back garden

but you have a ball and a hoop

basketball together

he teaches you to shoot better

“yes! I did it!”

*he hugs you from behind*

sorry that was gay

He’s actually quite chill about the whole lockdown situation

almost like he forgets the circumstances sometimes

“I think I might nip down to _____’s house today...”

“Uh, Yoongi, remember?”

“Oh yeah”

Detective series marathons too

the two of you trying to figure out whodunnit

sometimes even low key bets or light arguments if you disagree

a mildly sore loser when you’re correct

smug af when he is correct

Evenings lounging in the back yard with the drink of your choice

some quiet music on

random hypothetical conversations and questions about life

“what if...”

“what happened to...”

“don’t you think that cloud looks like a goldfish?”

Board games that keep the brain stimulated

why is he so good at scrabble

you can’t recall a game you’ve won

but no monopoly

not after the last time

“I want a divorce!”

“We’re not married”

“Yet”

tbf you might as well be an old married couple

because there’s those films you just watch over and over

close to unlocking the power of mind reading

“want a cup of tea?”

“omg I was about to ask that”

Some days you get on each other’s nerves a little though

so you each occupy yourselves with little chores

and even though you weren’t in the mood to do anything together

you’ve just made the house look great in a day as a team

and you’ve got everything you need just in time for dinner

“I’m proud of us”

“I’m proud of us too”

J-Hope

Picnics in the back garden

much better than one in the park though

there’s no packing involved

there’s cushions

sometimes low key fine dining

your favourite is the one evening picnic the other day

you had been shopping alone for the essentials

and he wanted to surprise you

he had set up a makeshift table out of a few old crates

did the cooking

the pasta dish was lovely

there was even dessert

okay the dessert was M&S

fairy lights

seriously you swear you weren’t out for that long how did he manage all of this so fast?

wine

staring at the stars

and there were blankets too

dozing off until early hours of the morning

finally coming indoors at like 2am

sleeping in til noon oops haha

then binge watching some random show together

and now it’s your new favourite

For some reason you have a big stock of popcorn

watching any old crap on the TV as an excuse to eat it

like there’s 3 films on this afternoon that sound shite

but you’re going to watch them all anyway

and the third one is actually really good

more popcorn more films

“we should probably go out at some point...”

whoops it’s been like 4 days now

and now it’s raining damn

fuck it, you go out anyway

dancing in the rain in an empty park

followed by shivering on the walk home

he gets in the shower first

but then runs a lovely hot bath for you

candles, bubble bath, the works

just so you can have some relaxing time to yourself

so thoughtful

lockdown doesn’t mean needing to compromise on showing you love each other

Jimin

You’re not quite sure how you got pulled into this

but Jimin decided to make use of his YouTube following

Virtual dance classes

and fun little exercise sessions for all the family

He does the dance classes solo

but he loves to flaunt you to the world even in lockdown

“Today joining me for this session... my lovely significant other, y/n!”

at first you felt uncertain and a little conscious

but thanks to Jimin your confidence grew

He helps you stay positive during a tough time

and you even feel like your self improvement has been going amazingly well

he even inspires you to make your own channel

to show the world what you love; [insert hobby/interest here]

people love the both of you

they go to Jimin’s channel to keep fit and happy

and your channel just fills them with joy

But not everything revolves around the virtual world

Care packages for all of your friends

food and other essentials get mailed to the ones that lost their jobs

and for the ones still working, a bundle of stuff for their mental well being

and a little drawing with rainbow colours in each

and a positive message

Woolly jumpers, cushions and hot chocolate

sweater paws

Sometimes in the evening you doze off

like you fall asleep just as you are

and you wake up to the smell of food and a blanket over you

Sometimes you miss your friends

and Jimin hates to see you down

so he organises a big surprise

his hands over your eyes as he walks you into the living room

“surprise!” you hear over the laptop

and then Jimin hands you some gifts

he asked them all a few days ago to send you something meaningful

and your heart just melts

and you may or may not cry a little in front of your friends on the video call

you just have to do something in return so

You make the living room all nice whilst he’s making a video in the garden

wow you’re actually quite proud

the lighting is just right

the improv decor is actually somewhat aesthetic

“Honey, why’s it so dull in here..... Woah, what’s this?”

“Dinner’s ready” you smile

and you have a gift for him too

you can’t wipe the smile off his face when he sees it

a scrapbook of memories between you and him

which you look through after eating

“We’re going to make more memories like this once this blows over”

Lots of online socialising

Calls with his friends

which you always end up being a part of in the background with your commentaries

Cute online double dates with Jimin and/or your best friend

Will try everything and anything to kill the boredom

“look what I found in the bargain bin at the supermarket!”

“Tae, I’m not really sure I’m in the mood to take up crocheting...”

but actually it turns out to be more fun that you thought

he has his little ways of making everything fun

one day you guys just find some random paints in a cupboard

and WOW

he’s so good at it

such beautiful landscapes

Makes sure that you both maintain some sort of routine

“best make sure we have an early night lovely”

“why? it’s not like there’s much to do tomorrow”

but no matter how sceptical you may be at times

he’s determined to be your sunshine

he helps you stay sane

makes everything sound productive

“because tomorrow we are going to make a playlist for when we walk, feed the ducks, go shopping, learn how to make a new dish...”

makes you a cup of tea just because

or breakfast in bed

the perfect companion

caring about even the people he can’t physically be with

“we haven’t heard from _____ in a while; we should drop a phone call or something”

but it isn’t just a phone call

it’s also a letter in the mail a few days later

plus a painting for the close friends

Dressing up really formal for a home date

3 course meal, courtesy of the microwave

then a slow dance in the living room

always the romantic

“tonight was amazing... will I see you again?”

“you are terrible Tae, you really are!”

such a joker

he keeps you smiling through it all

Jungkook

Tries to get you to go on daily jogs with him

“Can’t I just walk?”

“Come on, y/n; get those endorphins running through you!”

you try like once

*wheezing*

nope

Nintendo switch

Not that I have one welp

I can just imagine it okay

Lots of active games

thrashes you at Wii Sports Tennis

but you whoop his ass at Bowling

he does most of the shopping

so that he can go for a jog first

and also so he’s not out too often in any one day, two birds one stone and all that

Doesn’t quite always get the shopping list right….

“Jungkook?”

“Yes?”

“I wrote 1-2 bananas… You’ve brought back 12”

blames your handwriting

Small bits of banter like this keep you both sane

and he eats all those bananas in like 2 days

“What? There was no cereal in the shop”

someone teach this boy to cook please

*brings back like a crate load of instant noodles*

at least it means you’ve come up with something to pass the time

teaching Jungkook some basic meals

maybe beginning with breakfast first thing in the morning wasn’t the best idea

“Jungkook! I said keep an eye on it!”

“I did”

and he literally just watched the bacon burn instead of regularly flipping it over

bless

Singing to you whilst snuggling on the couch

bliss

meme-y dances before bed time

like you’ll be sat in bed maybe watching tv / reading

and something moves in the corner of your eye

oh my word Jungkook

*insert all the meme-y dances you have even seen him do*

the biggest dork

can’t stop laughing at his own silliness afterwards

jumps into the bed and puts his head on your shoulder

falls asleep like this quite fast

well you aren’t surprised since he’s always so energetic

Small campfires in the back garden

the best marshmallows you’ve ever had

and it’s so much fun

campfire stories

usually people have a guitar around the fire

not Jungkook though, no

*serenades you with a ukulele purposely singing out of tune*

has you in stitches

people in the neighbouring houses hear the laughter and some think it’s insensitive to be laughing so much

but seriously, if you can’t laugh, what can you do?

So I thought I’d make a post around the strange times many of us are living in. Whilst I get that some readers may not be in a situation like mine (UK) so a quick bit of context for you even though I made the location / country ambiguous in my writing. The circumstances explained in the imagines though are of course based on my experiences in England.

Right now, we are limited in what we do; only essential shops are open, (supermarkets, pharmacies, etc,) the country is being advised to go out as little as possible, (only for food shopping, medical reasons and exercise,) social gatherings aren’t allowed, our death rate has been increasing due to the virus (even our prime minister has it,) and our NHS is overwhelmed - currently more than 10,000 being treated as I’m listening to the news and writing this note.

I hope everyone is staying safe and doing the right thing by staying indoors and maintaining social distancing.

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oathkeeper-of-tarth · 4 years

Text

Kindle

Distraction fic time! Or is it fanfic as a coping mechanism? Dug out an old WIP and gave it a few finishing touches. This was originally written for the “Swords” prompt of a Bispearl Week ages ago.

Early in the Rebellion, Pearl introduces Bismuth to the concept of rubber ducking in an attempt to avert a crisis of confidence. Bismuth/Pearl but mostly in that slow burn phase. ~3000 words. No warnings.

Fic potentially also known as:

while you studied the blade i studied the forge so i could make you the very best blade in the world! love you baby

---

Kindle

The first few swords were a disaster.

The Forge was rudimentary still, in those early days - didn’t look like much at all, but it was a bold, determined little start. Bismuth did her best: all of her hard-won knowledge, scrounged up information not meant for her or her kind, going towards building what she thought they would need to get weapon production up and running. Raw materials gathered at a great risk - Snowflake had chipped her gem during the last of the supply runs! Tools for Bismuth to try to replicate and experiment with, and a thoroughly raided armoury’s worth of various weapons for Bismuth to learn from, to suit every possible rebellious inclination. All carefully arranged in the semi-natural volcanic caverns in an attempt to enable what she judged might be a sensible workflow.

She decided to go with a simple, plain, straight-edged sword to start with - mid-length to her, meaning a dagger to some and a hefty two-hander to others. The sheer variety already present in the Rebellion was half of its charm and point, wasn’t it just? And Bismuth wanted so very badly to fan the flames of it, to do everything she possibly could to see it, to see all of them, flourish and persevere and come out on top for once.

So Bismuth tried, and tried, and then tried again. Considered her mistakes, weaknesses, what she knew (or, doubt never failed to creep in, thought she knew) she was supposed to be doing and achieving here.

And failed.

The first blade that at least looked right shattered in her hands when she tried to force its tang through a guard and into a handle to put the whole thing together. The rest of its batch became hopelessly crooked when she quenched them. Each new day brought new failures, some unexpected enough as to be termed almost cruelly creative.

Bismuth crushed in one fist the latest useless ingot whose ore ratios she’d clearly gotten wrong in her mounting frustration, and tossed it against the wall with an irritated cry.

And of course, of course, that was the moment Pearl chose to walk in.

She was clearly shuffling around, trying to make herself more easily noticed. Bismuth knew that if she really wanted (or if she forgot she didn’t need to anymore, as she sometimes did, as they all sometimes did), Pearl could just pop up next to her elbow suddenly and apparently out of nowhere, piping up with a comment or suggestion or a casual greeting. Keep herself unseen and silent, coasting under any notice until whatever passed for “needed”, as easily as Bismuth could tear down walls with her bare hands and carve new ones in their place. They all came from somewhere, of course, from something, and they all carried it with them in one way or another.

“Bismuth?” Pearl called out gently, and Bismuth raised her head from its contemplative slump to meet her gaze.

Her voice and expression were both filled with concern as she inched closer from the entrance, but there was a glint in her eyes that made it clear Pearl would not be deterred or dismissed and that it would do nobody any good to try. So, figuring she had nothing to lose, Bismuth abandoned any nascent idea of pretending nothing was wrong, allowed her shoulders to sag, and let her misery show.

“I’m not cut out for this. Literally,” she admitted quietly, arms raising in a feeble attempt to encompass this.

Pearl snorted, hopping up to sit on the anvil with a highly deliberate and highly unconvincing casual air. “Tell me about it.”

Bismuth sighed, rubbing the back of her neck with a tiredness she wasn’t sure she was supposed to be capable of, and leaned next to her.

“I ever tell you of my first actual visit to a forge?”

Pearl shook her head and drew closer, making them look like a real pair of conspirators.

“Wasn’t all that long ago. I took the chance and snuck into a weapons production plant when the hematites weren’t around. Me and the other bismuths had been working on some training grounds right next to it and I’d wanted to see one for so long, so one day during a shift change I just went for it. And it was... Well. Let’s just say the last time that place had seen a bismuth was when it was being built.”

Bismuth ran a hand through her hair, and noticed that, for perhaps the first time since they’d met each other, the gesture didn’t result in Pearl immediately being endearingly enraptured by the tumbling rainbow locks. No, her eyes were fixed on Bismuth’s face, intent and understanding in a very particular and oddly encouraging way. So Bismuth continued. “I didn’t even fit in there, Pearl. I was too big for the bellows and too small for the anvils, and I could barely walk around the quenching baths they had set up. It was all just… wrong. The whole place was screaming at me, telling me I didn’t belong there and couldn’t if I tried.”

“You’re still trying, though, despite that,” Pearl pointed out, and swept an arm out to seemingly encompass the entire forge. “And look at all of this! You’ve been working so hard to make it your own.”

“Because I want this!” Bismuth burst out, resorting to unusually ruffled pacing around the anvil. “I’ve wanted this for so long! And the Rebellion needs this! I thought I could do it, and I’m trying to learn so very hard! Why can’t I? The simplest thing a hematite could do five minutes after popping out of the ground I can’t get right after grinding at it for weeks!”

“But you haven’t given up!” Pearl reiterated, raising her voice to match, and Bismuth relented, stopping in her tracks.

“Yeah, you’re right. And I’m not planning to. And something tells me you aren’t either.” She smiled and shrugged in mock-defeat. “Guess we’re a stubborn pair of boulders like that, huh?”

It was certainly more than a trick of the light when Pearl appeared to preen at that, puffed up chest almost exclaiming a proud Me! A boulder! Imposing and immovable and sturdy!

Then, with a grin, she proclaimed: “We absolutely are.”

Bismuth couldn’t help but burst out laughing at that, something unpleasantly tight finally uncoiling from around the inlaid edges of her gem. Pearl quickly joined her, helping to fill the forge with a delightfully improper little cackle.

When they both settled down again, side by side at the anvil, everything stayed just that little bit forgelight-orange brighter. A pleasant, comforting warmth in place of an oppressive volcanic heat aching to burst.

“I believe you can succeed,” Pearl began again, more slowly, as if picking out each word with great care. “But - and I am working on all of this myself still - I also think you should be aware you don’t have to do this. I know - oh how I know - that more often than not it feels like the most phoney thing in the world… but remember: you don’t have to be useful to be of value.”

It did sound quite a bit like a learned platitude, the way Pearl recited it. But there was a feeling of, if not exactly believing it, then of very much wanting to believe it.

“Oh, that’s a good one,” Bismuth murmured. “I’m definitely holding on to that one. Thanks. Got any other nugget of wisdom for me, Terrifying Renegade?”

Pearl effortlessly and gracefully evaded Bismuth’s jokingly nudging elbow and continued her almost-lecture. “Well, we all need to remember that love and self-love are radical and revolutionary concepts in Homeworld’s eyes.”

Bismuth burst out laughing again. “What was that supposed to be? Was that really your best Rose Quartz impression?”

The forgelight turned the blue in Pearl’s cheeks into a fascinating range of colours as she moved and turned. “Well, yes and no-- focus on the message!”

“Alright, alright,” Bismuth acquiesced. “It’s a good message. And an important one. Just… not really helping me with the task at hand, which is arming all of us so we can defend ourselves against those who’d prefer that message didn’t spread. And there’s a whole lot of them and not a lot of us. Yet.”

Pearl hummed in response, suddenly pensive, gazing down to where her feet were dangling off the side of the large anvil, toes describing elaborate patterns in the air - courtly dance steps or fencing drills footwork, Bismuth couldn’t tell. Always restless.

“You know, the first time I properly sparred with Rose and got her to stop holding back on me I got utterly trounced,” Pearl shared quietly. “It’s not exactly a fond memory of mine. After all that training, after trying so hard - I was so sure I was ready! But no, in a real battle I’d have gotten pulverised. And Gems… even here, in the Rebellion, you have to admit, Bismuth, you’ve seen the way a lot of them look at me, too.”

“Well,” Bismuth said with a soft huff of a chuckle, “can’t say watching you show them the error of their ways the first time they show up for training isn’t a treat.”

“I think...” A small blush appeared on Pearl’s cheeks - icy blue tinged purple in the forgelight that Bismuth just had to pause and appreciate every time - and she seemed to develop a sudden and intense interest in a spot on the anvil right next to where she was sitting. “I think the fact you never really looked at me like that is one of the main reasons I like you so much.”

“Oh?” Bismuth managed around a strangely constricted throat, and a warmth in her face that had nothing to do with the persistent lava-glow of the newly dug channels.

“I remember-- our very first meeting you immediately started asking me about my swords, and I didn’t have to waste endless time just getting you to talk to me like a Gem, let alone listen to what I had to say.” Pearl gasped out an odd chuckle, “It was such a relief!”

A mouthy little pearl, she’d thought, unusual and prickly, but utterly charming in a way Bismuth was fairly sure she wasn’t supposed to be. The way she carefully dusted off the anvil before jauntily perching on it - much like she was perching on it right now - with a very loud air of I’m certainly not doing this for you, I just do not want soot anywhere on my person. How could Bismuth resist being near-instantly won over?

Pearl pressed a long, thin finger against her chin thoughtfully, and hummed. Certainly seemed to be taking the whole thing entirely seriously, and Bismuth found herself feeling an odd relief. What did she expect, Pearl to laugh at her worries and frustrations? Dismiss them as unfounded somehow, as both silly and imagined? Just agree, say that oh, guess that’s just how it is then, best find some other way of making yourself useful to us - which, yes, of course usefulness wasn’t the point at all, on the contrary, but…

But Pearl was speaking, that thoughtful finger still up. “How about… we make one together. An entire sword. And you can talk me through it.”

“Talk you through it?”

Pearl seemed to be growing increasingly enthusiastic about the idea. “Every step of the way! Every detail you can think of! Trust me, there’s no better way to find out where it’s going wrong. And I’ve… well,” Pearl hesitated suddenly, as if catching herself, “I’m no expert, of course, but I’ve looked into some of these things on my own, too. So I will be able to make sense of what you’re saying - even though that might not even be the point. The point is that you make sense of what you’re saying.”

Bismuth didn’t feel entirely convinced, but Pearl’s sudden whirlwind felt very hard to not get caught up in - strange, that. Usually it was Bismuth herself getting others caught up in all sorts of things, loudly and unabashedly and delightfully Homeworld-unapproved. “If you say so.”

“Trust me, it’ll help. Here,” Pearl hopped off the anvil and went off to the raw material containers as if there was not a single moment more to lose, “ore selection first. Tell me all about your mix.”

“Uh,” Bismuth blinked, and did her best to concentrate on the task she supposed was at hand, but Pearl was at the same time incredibly distracting and the very embodiment of pointed, precise focus. She cleared her throat, feeling the newly familiar and surprisingly pleasant stick of hot air and volcanic ash in the back of it. “Well, for this particular brand of steel, this was my ratio.” A careful fistful after fistful, from her carefully arranged containers, with Pearl nodding along.

“Seems like a good composition to me. Of course, not exactly how I’d measure anything out, but, well, I’m me.” Spoken with a grin Bismuth just had to match.

“Let’s just say my hands have had a lot of practice when it comes to measuring things out. All those spires don’t just pop into existence magically holding themselves together, no matter what those upper-crusts seem to think.”

“Well, it was bound to come in handy some day,” Pearl nodded sagely, and Bismuth couldn’t restrain her guffaw.

“Pearl! That was absolutely terrible.”

Her smug little smile was so proud. Bismuth almost let all the ore in her hand scatter on the floor when Pearl took her by the arm and started pulling her towards the lava pools.

“Thank you! Now, no more dawdling. Show me your smelting! Remember: every step of the way,” Pearl repeated with a tiny but lingering touch on Bismuth’s arm. It was such a small hand in comparison, every bit of it looking fine and fragile - but she'd seen it wield a sword and it was no joke and no dainty detail of a trinket. Far, far from it.

Bismuth felt her face heat up, and she quickly dipped her ore-hand into the lava bubbling in its channel nearby. The ingot-to-be filled up her hand and she tried to focus on that, but-- oh, Pearl was clearing her throat and looking away too.

It seemed so ridiculous to even imagine her all in utterly impractical frills, trotting behind some lousy, spoiled clump of aristocratic dirt. Not only a waste of potential as Rose often said, but an outright crime.

“Ready for the forging?” Pearl sprung up eagerly, breaking the reverie, then jolted, as if remembering something. “Oh! Just a moment. Allow me!”

With a very dramatic wave of her hand, a hologram sputtered to life from her gem, and Pearl herself leaned forward and down just slightly to centre it on the anvil.

“There we go. A perfect reference, don’t you think? And perfectly practical!”

“Oh, wow,” was about all Bismuth could manage at the sight of the lovingly detailed holographic blade before her. She quickly dropped the hot ingot in place, transformed her hand and hammered at the metal. The blade glowed, freshly struck into shape, orange mixing with Pearl’s translucent blue and playing around both of them.

In no time at all the emerging blade matched its holographic counterpart and seemed to be ready for quenching, so Bismuth happily informed Pearl of this next step. “I’m going for plain water this time.”

Steam poured out around both of them, standing almost cheek to cheek over the quenching bath - this one perfectly sized for Bismuth’s use - eager to see what they’d made so far once the haze dispersed.

Nudging Pearl with one shoulder and waving an annoyed hand around, Bismuth put on the snootiest voice she could manage. “Pearl, what is the meaning of this? Look at the state of the place! When was it last dusted?”

Pearl grinned, the little soot mark on her chin moving dashingly in tandem. “Oh it’ll dust itself well enough when I dissipate your form.”

“Hahah! Atta Pearl.” The clap of the hand on her back almost sent Pearl stumbling, but then she straightened up and leaned happily into it. Smugly, even. Her entire back fit into Bismuth's palm - what an odd pair the two of them must have made.

Bismuth decided she liked the feeling.

She cleared her throat. “You know, when we get this right? When we end up with a proper sword? It’s all yours.”

Pearl looked up, almost startled, eyes wide and slightly watery. “Mine? Oh, Bismuth, I couldn’t possibly...”

“I insist. You’ve definitely more than earned it. But most importantly… I want you to have it. And I’d be honoured to see you carry it into battle, or, hey, use it to knock some sense into a rowdy quartz newbie or two.”

A sudden thought made her stop in her tracks. Who in their right mind would want to go into battle relying on a second-rate experiment of a weapon from a cobbled-together forge?

“I-I mean-- if you want to, of course, I didn’t mean to, uh, force it--”

A slender hand was lightly placed over Bismuth’s once again, quieting her near instantly. Pearl’s smile was small but reached her eyes and lit them up with a beautiful sincerity. “Of course I do. The honour will be all mine,” she said. Then, with a bit more audible steel: “And I know it will turn out excellently.”

“Because we made it together?” Bismuth hazarded a guess, but was cut off.

“Because I know you.”

She blinked at the sudden intensity, but felt an answering rush, too. Oh, it was impossible not to get caught up in it all: the wonderful rightness of their championed ideals, the beautiful words of the manifesto, all the Gems they could finally do right by, everything each of them stood for, Rose Quartz herself, Garnet, Pearl...

Bismuth had no intention of doing anything but eagerly dedicating all of herself to it, and every bit of skill she might hope to possess. “Well, I can’t argue with that.”

A fighter of Pearl’s calibre, and a cause as important as theirs, deserved only the best. Bismuth was determined to provide it.

The next battle of the fledgling but intrepid Rebellion saw Pearl charge in with a newly forged sabre, Bismuth beaming proudly right at her side.

#steven universe #bismuth #pearl #bispearl #fanfiction #oathkeeper writes things #my fic #let's get down to bismuth #please let me know your thoughts #as always #but yknow now in particular

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oh-sweet-mama · 3 years

Text

Leaving my side Pt.2 (Ben solo at the end)

T.W:Sex, talk of death, slight angst

TROS spoilers

3rd person

Awaking with a soft sound of an alarm ringing through the room, y/n stretched, only to be pulled into a warm embrace.

"Don't leave." Kylo mumbled against her neck.

"I have to go on your scouting mission." She retorted.

"Mhmm 5 more minuets. That girl can wait." Kylo mumbled back.

Y/n reached out and set the timer for 5 minutes. Sighing in content Kylo rests his head on her chest. Listening to her breathing and soft thud of her heartbeat.

Y/n played with Kylo's soft raven hair. It was fluffy in the morning and silky. Kylo's nimble fingers lazily danced along the smooth skin of y/n lower stomach.

The alarm went off in a blink of an eye.

"Don't go." Kylo mumbled. "I have the day off!"

"Well- you wanted me out there finding your girl." Y/n stated.

"Wha- you're my girl." Kylo mumbled sleepily.

"Sure Ren, I'll be back shortly, enjoy your day off." Y/n kissed Kylo's forehead before walking into the bathroom and starting her shower.

Her stomach twisted. There was something wrong.

Listen here child-

Y/n's heart beat quickened.

Your boy will die at the end of this day- so will that girl- and it will be your fault.

She shook the voice out of her ears. Quickly getting dressed and rushed to the door. Before exiting the shared room y/n looked over at Kylo. Fearing this is the last time she will see him.

She knows this is true deep down, but she decided to not accept the fact. She boarded the tie fighters and set out following the coordinates.

Kylo awoke feeling nauseous. He got up and got ready for the day.

Walking up the bridge of his command ship he announced his brief speech.

"I'm going on a mission, tell me at once when Y/n gets back with the girl at once." Kylo's voices modulator boomed.

Boarding his tie fighter Kylo set out for a planet, hoping to find a way finder he'd been looking for far to long.

——— (skip to the battle of exogol)

Kylo's heart races he never heard from his command ship weather or not y/n got back. Fighting off the knights of Ren. Rey appears.

Nodding in reassurance, Rey passed Luke's lightsaber to him. A new fire burned in Ben. Eradicating Kylo. He sprints to the throne room.

A force brings him to his knees. His life force being ripped out of him. Evil cackles fill the room as palpatine rises.

Ben motionless on the cold stone. His breathing was shallow.

Rise Kylo you've got this I love you.

Y/n's voice rings in his ear. Getting up onto his feet he swings his saber only to be flung back.

——

A orange x wing swings in knowing an exactly where to hit the star destroyers.

Her gut churred. Kylo? Ben?

She reached her mind out.

Rise Kylo you've got this I love you.

She sensed Rey.

"Shit!" Y/n slammed her fist down on her dash board. "Fuck!"

Her heart was shattering. Knowing Kylo had found the girl. She punched her X-wing in to advanced war mode. Taking out yet another star destroyer alone.

The rest of the X-wing fleet watched in awe as the rouge plane took down star destroyers.

"Some one radio that X- Wing!" Poe demanded.

Y/n opened her radio to all channels.

"Listen. Resistance. First order. Rebels. I don't give a fuck. I will take every singe one of these star destroyers down. One. By. One." ———-

Ben cradled Rey. She lay motionless.

Ben slowly passed his dwindling life force to her.

"Ben?" Rey whispered.

"Yea- yea it's me."

Rey cupped Ben's cheek and leaned into to gently kiss him.

"Shit shit shit-" y/n muttered. Time seemed to slow. Her X- Wing was out of fuel. She had to land. Y/n felt the connect between Ben and Rey complete "Goodbye Ben."

She took the landing to hot.

Ben felt the gaping hole in his chest. Tears poured.

"No!"

"Ben? Ben what's wrong?" Rey asked.

"Nothing- nothing- I've got to get you home." Ben felt lightheaded, before letting go he falls back as the world fades out. Rey catching his head.

Ben- my son- rise. Your fight is not over yet.

The noise is the cave was silent. Rey watched in anticipation.

Ben took a breath. Opening his eyes. His face was colorless. Rey stood Bens' arm over her shoulder. Most of his weight on her. Limping back to Reys X-wing Ben settles Rey on his lap, taking off glancing over for one last look at the dying planet before jumping into hyper space.

Rolling onto her back, y/n watched as the last X-wing jumped into hyperspace.

"Ben?" Y/n whispered. She felt his pull slowly fade away. She couldn't feel her legs. Where are my legs? Limbs felt like they were cemented to the rough planet.

"Hey! Kid!" A figure loomed over her. "Y/n! Kid! What happened?"

"Perit? My- my X-wing..." the world was getting darker, and the surrounding world started to fade.

"Shit- kid! Let's go." perit gently picked the frail girl up and set her down on a cot back on the ship. "Damn kid we need to stop the bleeding on this leg."

———

"Alright master Ben, here are your personal quarters, meal time is anonymous and you may join when you wish." The small aid instructed.

"Thank you." Ben said softly.

"No problem master Ben, have a wonderful evening." The aid Instructed.

He sat on his bed after he heard the aid leave and her boots recede down the hall. That's when he let it all go.

Sobs bounced off of the walls. Bens entire being trembled with pain.

"Y/n... please-" Ben sobbed. He curled up into his pillow, on top of the covers and let the tears flow. "You- can't leave me here alone." —— Ben spent days in his quarters alone. Often crying silently. Only wandering the halls late at night to find small packaged snacks.

"Shit- ow-" y/n grumbled rubbing the back of her head. "Wha- where am I?"

"You're back at the resistance base kid- ya' did it kid- that wars' over." Perit congratulates.

"You got me back here?"

"Yea- I uh saw your X- wing go down- so I went down to scoop you up- I'm sorry about the X- Wing kid- I got your droid out fine though. An your-"

"Shit my leg!" Y/n panicked.

"You're fine kid I made you a prosthetic. Just try to wear shorts or baggy clothing I'll make you a better one promise." Perit soothed.

"Yea- we can rebuild the X-wing too, I've had my eyes on an old one from the first war for a while." Y/n chewed her lip. "Want to go back to base? I need to speak to a few people, how long was I out?"

"About a good 4 weeks, I feed you and got an Iv in but that's about it. I'll stick around here and fix up your leg some more."

"I- wow. Thank you Perit." Y/n slowly rose to her feet, regaining her bearings. She slowly waded out of the ship, often stopping and leaning on a nearby tree. Y/n had rightened her posture, slowly making it through a small crowd of people.

Ben followed Poe, Rey, and Finn. Quietly observing. Feeling lingering stares. His mother had left them a small 'scavenger hunt' to help them meet some of the important places and people around the base.

"The girl you're looking for stays at a ship outside the boundaries of the base. I haven't seen or hear of her since the battle of exogol." Demi explained.

"Shit- fuck!" Y/n stumbled around her leg getting caught on random items on the ground. "Hey! Lore!"

"Oh my stars you're ok!" Another blonde girl embraced her.

"Oh- there she is- her is name is y/n," Ben's stomach dropped. Y/n? "you should follow her back to her ship- she doesn't look to good. Make sure Perits' around."

"Thank you Demi." Poe thanked. "Damn Leia really has us following a drunk girl back to a ship."

Ben noticed her leg. It seemed to be a piece of hollow metal with very basic joints, connected to the base of her knee.

After collecting supplies, y/n had better bearings. Now walking straight and seeing clearly. However her force connection was still off, unable to sense the party of people following.

"I'm back Perit-"

"Hey uh- y/n-" Poe reaches out.

"Yea? Fuck! I don't have anything for you!" Y/n turned around to be faced with Poe's confused one. Her features dropped. "Sorry for my tone Admiral. I- I thought someone else was following me."

Y/n bowed at the waist.

She turned around, but tripped on a spare part. Dropping all of the supplies she had bundled under her jacket.

"S-sorry- I'll go get the letter." She stumbled away. Picking up loose supplies.

Ben watched in awe as his nimble lover walked away, she seemed to be raised from the dead.

She dug through a small basket of journals. Drawings falling out occasionally. Y/n retrieved the lose artwork.

Beep boop trill?

"Yes the letter I'm looking for the letter from Admiral Leia." Y/n explained to her droid.

The droid opened the panel on the belly then a formally wrapped letter popped out.

"Here sorry for the delay." Y/n apologized "I'm Y/n y/m/n Kenobi, I assisted Admiral Leia, I am not at your service, however I was formally asked to assist master Ben."

Ben's heart skipped beats when his named rolled off of her tongue like honey.

"You! You're the one that is messing with me and Bens' bond!" Rey stormed up to y/n.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't act stupid! You know!"

"Rey sit!" Ben demands.

"I didn't do anything. 3 years ago, admiral Leia sent me on a spy mission straight into the lions den. The first order. I knew she wanted me to bring her son back, but that was never an order. When I first came into contact with Kylo Ren I felt a pull to him. The force wanted me and Ben together. Not Ben and Rey. However I would never get Ben back to The light if I told him this. The force bonds began to connect us. I sensed Reys power of a palpatine." Y/n paused, rubbing her palms together.

Poe, and Finn leaned into Y/n intrigued in her story.

Y/n continued, "I forced a connection between Rey and Ben. To get Ben back. I sacrificed my life for this. I wasn't even supposed to make it off of exogol. Leia knew that Rey was just a scavenger with a complicated past. I was once a scavenger too, on planet of Tatoonie. I'm sorry. I was think about the fate of the galaxy. Not feelings. If I wouldn't have eradicated Kylo Ren, the entire galaxy would be gone."

It was silent. Quiet. Even the droids were holding their breath.

"Oh Y/n" Ben rose to his feet walking over to her. And wrapping his arms around her, "I- I thought I lost you. I felt you go down- I felt the X- wing go down. I felt the bond too, but I didn't know if it was just me falling for you. Which I did anyways."

Light airy chuckles escaped Ben.

"Ben. Ben not here. We must get you back to base. Quickly before the creatures roam their native land." Y/n quickly taking Bens hand and a flashlight. Her prosthetic was uneven from the other real leg. Causing her to have a limp.

——

After wishing goodnight to Poe and Finn. Ben felt Rey's lingering stare. She had fallen for him. But Ben is confused and hurt. He needed someone he could trust.

Y/n had controlled the information passed between the force bond.

Ben punched in his code gently pulling Y/n into his quarters.

"I- I thought I lost you." Ben repeated.

"I know, I know." Y/n soothed. Ben sobbed softly before gently pulling Y/n into his lap. Gently caressing the cool metal of her prothetic, it reminded him of when she used to kiss his mask.

"Be careful of my leg I don't want to hurt you."

"You'll never hurt me."

Flipping positions, Ben gently kissed down her neck.

"I better mark you up." Ben growled lowly.

Pulling her shirt off over y/n's head he kissed a faint line of hickeys down her chest. Before unclasping her bra.

Ben attached his mouth to her right nipple while applying pressure to the other one.

"Shit Ben-"

He traveled down.

"Only shorts huh?"

"Oh shut up- I can't wear pants till I get a better prosthetic."

"Mhmm trying to temp me?"

"Hmm no."

Ripping her shorts and panties off in one slide, Ben crawled back up to kiss her lips hungrily. Y/n wrapped her arms gently around his neck pulling him deeper into their kiss.

Though he kissed down her jaw leaving light hickeys.

"I've missed you." He moans lightly against her collar bone.

"So have I Ben-"

Ben makes dark hickeys down her sternum and along the valley of her breasts. As he makes his way to her heat, gentle love bite shook pleasure through Y/n.

"Shit- Ben." Y/n moaned. Truth be told Ben loves her moans, even as Kylo. He's never heard something so sweet and innocent even when he was sinning between her thighs.

Ben continued down her stomach and onto her thighs. Passing her throbbing core.

"Ben please-" Y/n hated to beg, but she needed. The burning desire and passion she's held back so long was finally freed. She was Bens' and Ben was hers'.

Ben finally landed a simple kiss to her clit. Before launching his attack of love. Licking a long stripe up her core she clutches the sheets. Every whimper goes straight to Ben's cock.

His pants getting tighter by the second. Teasing her entrance with his finger he sucks harshly at her clit. Earning her Moans and whimpers of pleasure to bounce off the walls.

Y/n's nimble fingers rake through Ben's hair lightly tugging.

"Ben- please." She lightly tugged him up to her face. The tip of his nose and lips slick with arousal .

"Always so good for me baby girl." The praise goes straight to y/n's awaiting core.

"Please- fuck me Ben."

"As you wish." He slips his pants off followed by his shirt tossing them somewhere in the room. Ben laces his fingers into hers, before slowly pushing into her.

"F-fuck. Shit- princess- always taking this cock so good." Ben moans. The praises wet y/n further.

"Ben!" Y/n moans, feeling complete with his hips flush against hers. "Please go-" Y/n whimpers.

Ben starts a slow maddening rhythm before starting to pound into her. Releasing his grip on her hands, on hand flies to her to the other resting on the head board.

Stars dance in y/n's vision. Before she knew it her high was within reach.

"Ben I'm close." She moans.

"I know princess go ahead I'm almost there." Ben bucks his hips into hers before coating her walls with his seed. Gently pulling out her fishes a new pair of boxers out of his drawer and one of his tunics. Followed by a damp cloth to clean the arousal off of both of them.

After getting cleaned up. Ben hands y/n his tunic, relishing how small she appears in them. He pulls the Boxers up his strong legs, the. Retrieved a fresh warm blanket to wrap themselves in.

Slipped into the bed with the drowsy Y/n.

"Cuddles?"

"Of course princess."

Ben cradled her in his arms the blanket snuggled close to them. Ben felt- happy? His heart was warm, just like her. He was truly happy and in love, for the first time.

#ben solo redemption #ben solo angst #kylo to ben #ahhh the feels #ben solo smut

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amwritesitall · 4 years

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Sarah’s AHS Characters (+Alice and a Ship) as Songs I’m Vibing With

Masterlist

Instead of a collection of songs from one artist these are songs I’m currently vibing with? Here’s the playlist if you wanna listen (warning it fluctuates a lot because it’s just songs a vibe with at the moment). I skipped the songs I used in artist posts.

Billie Dean Howard

“24 / 7/ 365″ by Surfaces

Met, this girl down by the vine Had long tan legs and big brown eyes Seemed the type I would wanna make mine

She said nine to five, I'm killing time But twenty-four-seven, three-six-five I have to be where I feel your sunshine

One to two-step, three-step, four She's everywhere out on the dance floor She's everything you could ever want and more

Picture it. Billie Dean is at some event. She spies a girl who’s mesmerizing, killing it on the dance floor. Realizing this girl is absolutely the person she wants to be with. The line “I have to be where I feel your sunshine”!! Big Billie Dean vibes right there. In the darkness that her job sometimes entails, she’s drawn to the light of her lover. A ray of sunshine if you will.

“Heaven Falls / Fall on Me” by Surfaces

Woke up early in the mornin' Just to feel the light of day Had to open up my window Get the shadows out my way Banana pancakes for my problems Find me jamming old Jack Johnson Swear I heard them angel calls Lay outside

As Heaven falls Heaven falls

If you can’t tell, Surfaces really makes me think of Billie Dean. This goes with my explanation for the other song. Billie’s job gets pretty dark and intense. Although she never completely gets a break from her job (because she can’t just turn off being a medium) she tries to use her time away from filming and darker locations to focus on the lighter aspects of life, savoring all around her and her lover. I have no idea if what I said makes sense though.

Lana Winters

“Let’s Fall in Love for the Night” by FINNEAS

Let's fall in love for the night And forget in the mornin' Play me a song that you like You can bet I'll know every line I'm the boy that your boy hoped that you would avoid Don't waste your eyes on jealous guys, fuck that noise I know better than to call you mine

This song gives me Lana vibes in the sense that she doesn’t really want to get too attached to people. This also makes me think of how Lana is the type of lover that someone’s conservative/strict family wouldn’t want them with (because of the gay). When you go this route, it’s hard for me not to picture teenage Lana when listening to this.

Fun fact: I have a vague idea for writing a Billie Dean Howard x Reader imagine over this song.

“me & ur ghost” by blackbear

I'm not alone It's just me and your ghost And this cripplin' depression I thought I learned my lesson But, I threw out my phone And I burned all your clothes And now I'm not alone It's just me and your ghost

Now hear me out. Post break up Lana dealing with all of her memories of her ex and then burning all of their shit because Lana is lowkey that bitch. It’s a bit of a stretch, but that’s just my humble opinion on the matter.

Cordelia Goode

“If We Were Vampires” by Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit

It's not the long, flowing dress that you're in Or the light coming off of your skin The fragile heart you protected for so long Or the mercy in your sense of right and wrong It's not your hands searching slow in the dark Or your nails leaving love's watermark It's not the way you talk me off the roof Your questions like directions to the truth

It's knowing that this can't go on forever Likely one of us will have to spend some days alone Maybe we'll get forty years together But one day I'll be gone Or one day you'll be gone

Cordelia knows that one day she will die. There will be another Supreme after her and she can’t live forever. This is her coming to terms with the fact that maybe it’s for the best that she won’t stay around forever. Not being immortal allows her to live in the moment and savor all the time she has.

“PlantedInMyMind.Memo” by Charlie Burg

Saying things I don't believe And your love casts it's shadow on the things I do And I can hear so clearly all the words I'd wish I'd said You're stuck in my head But I only think of you Will we be together soon? I'm thrown on the wayside You're planted in my mind But I don't wanna be ok without you

This makes me think of an angsty Cordelia relationship like post “In Another Lifetime”?!?! Cordelia being stuck on her lover from the past

Also makes me think of Cordelia x Misty after the events of season 3

Bette and Dot Tattler

“prom dress” by mxmtoon

I can't help the fact I like to be alone It might sound kinda sad, but that's just what I seem to know I tend to handle things usually by myself And I can't ever seem to try and ask for help

I'm sitting here, crying in my prom dress I'd be the prom queen if crying was a contest Makeup is running down, feelings are all around How did I get here? I need to know

I guess I maybe had a couple expectations Thought I'd get to them, but no I didn't

I’m not going to lie, this is a bit of a stretch.

I’m kind of getting Bette and Dot wishing they could be like everyone else. They just want that normal teen experience?

Sally McKenna

“Teeth” by 5 Seconds of Summer

Call me in the morning to apologize Every little lie gives me butterflies Something in the way you're looking through my eyes Don't know if I'm gonna make it out alive

Fight so dirty, but your love's so sweet Talk so pretty, but your heart got teeth Late night devil, put your hands on me And never, never, never ever let go

The angst! The tension! The passion! SPICY TIMES WITH SALLY

“fuck, i’m lonely” by Lauv, Anne-Marie

I call you one time, two time, three time I can't wait no more Your fingers through my hair, that's on my mind I know it's been a minute since you walked right through that door But I still think about you all the time

Sally just wants love. She’s sick of being lonely and wants to be with the person she loves. Being a ghost sucks and she wants out of that damn hotel.

Dealing with her ex that is still alive while she’s not.

Audrey Tindall

“Prom Queen” by Beach Bunny

Shut up, count your calories I never looked good in mom jeans Wish I, was like you, blue-eyed blondie, perfect body Maybe I should try harder You should lower your expectations I'm no quick-curl barbie I was never cut out for Prom Queen If I get more pretty, do you think he will like me?

Teen Audrey. I will stand by this.

Now I’m thinking about teen Audrey and my heart :(

Ally Mayfair Richards

“I Needed You” by blackbear

When I needed you the most, I needed you I fucking needed you the most, I needed you, the most Now I won't be there to give you what you need Now I won't be there, no

You know this was never really about us And everything was always 'bout you You never knew a thing about trust And I knew everything about you, what's happening Three whole years, they can go by In a blink of an eye, and you won't know it, but What a damn waste of time

You can’t sit there and tell me this doesn’t sound like Ally dealing with Ivy’s betrayal. No. There is no way this song doesn’t give off those vibes. Like sis was dealing with a ton of shit and where was her wife??? Off gallivanting and murdering with a cult because she voted for Jill Stein.

Wilhemina Venable

“Lovesong (The Way) [feat. Bluets]” by Charlie Burg

Now you're away with nothing to say My heart aches like never before Filled with desire, you've inspired me to write another verse

I think we're alone now You can tell me it was all just a game Yes, we're alone now But the feeling's slightly changed

But you take your time, my love Don't ever tell me that it just takes time to love As long as I'm writing this song about my love for you Is it too much to ask For a reply? Or a text? Or a way to tell you love me like before

I don’t knooowww. This just makes me think of Mina trying to deal with her feelings and possibly her significant other kind of giving up because they feel like Mina will never reciprocate their feelings. Mina does love them but it’s hard for her to express it.

“Someday” by Peach Tree Rascals

I hate the fact that you Run on mind, all damn day There she goes

Girl won't you wait for me

I settled down, I'm better now I never knew what this life was about Days got too plain, colors got dull All of the roses fell on to the floor I'll pick them up, wipe the dust Need a chance for your love For your love, for your love, ooooh I've been floating between oceans And the darkness in the sky I've been lonesome in this old shed And it's burnin through my mind

Similar to the song above, Mina hates the fact that she’s stuck on this person, but she eventually realizes that she needs this person in her life. This love really out here making her appreciate life and all the good things in it.

Basically Mina is turning into a softie.

Alice Macray

“Mariposa” by Peach Tree Rascals

I can't wait for you To come my way I've been far away But I'll keep runnin' Just to find a way to you til' then

I been running from it Tired of running from it Scared of feeling something now I'm stuck and tryna get up out of this hole

Surface level this song has some good vibes like our baby Alice. Over analyzing level is not as good vibes. This song is kind of like our baby Alice running from her feelings for someone because the thought of such strong feelings is scary for her.

Billie Dean Howard x Audrey Tindall

“Channel Orange in Your Living Room” by Charlie Burg

We met when I was drunk That party didn't actually suck You made fun of how slow I drank

But now I can't stop thinking about you Each moment passes and my thoughts return to you And the memory of us too As we listen to Channel Orange in your living room

Even when you're away That album makes me feel like you stayed To listen now would make me a fool again for you

Without a doubt, I always think of these two when I listen to the song and that’s one of the reasons why I love it so much. I’m just picturing the two of them meeting a party together and Billie taking Audrey back to her place. Then they end up thinking of each other long after the night is over.

You might like: Sarah Paulson AHS Characters as Hozier Songs or Sarah Paulson AHS Characters as Rex Orange County Songs

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slaminthebackofmy · 3 years

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i’m gonna put my playlist on shuffle and write what the songs remind me of while i listen to them, no one asked and no one cares but i’ve had so much caffeine and sugar today that there is no way in fresh hell i am going to bed anytime soon,

this is unnecessarily long, i’m just terrified of losing memories and i need these written down

deadroses - blackbear - september 2019 when i was getting ready for school. i used a rose cleansing water and the smell of it reminds me of this song, it was super warm and i had just come back from vacation in bulgaria with my family. used to watch the sunset with this song pretending i’m the main character. one time we went to a supermarket on the outskirts of town with this blasting in the car

anxiety - blackbear - almost the same as the previous one, october 2019 when i got led lights under my bed and i was just calming down from 4 months of paranoia and sleepless nights

one for the road - arctic monkeys - weird mood in december when all i would listen to was arctic monkeys and the nbhd, spent most nights on the dining room table blasting these just quiet enough to not wake my parents upstairs, my neighbours probably wished murder was legal

miroh - skz - miroh came out about a month after i found skz so i was still new to their music and the day it came out i was kinda sick and staying home from school so i got to enjoy the full thing in peace, i spent the next few days watching finding skz and then i blasted this throughout april which was a weird and rough month oh and also i started that other writing blog

often - the weeknd - i used to blast this in the 8th grade while i played that one paper airplane flash game before i discovered the magic of headphones fkgslkjgn

sweater weather - so many memories attached to this pretty bitch, finding it first through a sam and colby vine, walking home in the 6th grade from the dentist at night, standing on my balcony and watching super strong winds bring in very dark storm clouds almost completely covering the light from the sky above, except for one small window of light, last december

fantasy - dye - i found this i think last summer but it reminds me of my childhood and watching samurai jack for some reason

rumors - neffex - i accidentally clicked on a lyric video for this while i was staring at the moon one evening and the sky in the background picture of the video was exactly the same as the sky i was looking at and it just reminded me of a mid 2000′s teenagers room in my town, like older boys i used to have baby crushes on as a kid would have a room like that, gray walls, wooden desk with a computer and a bed with gray sheets with a window right above it and moonlight shining in, a red electrig guitar mounted on the wall and a skateboard leaned against the wall

arabella - arctic monkeys - i listened to an hour loop of this for a week straight non stop in december, i specifically remember dec 21st and wrote a lot on here

do i wanna know - arctic monkeys - there’s a few with this one, firsty it’s finding this song in the 9th grade when i was going to a youth club and i started listening to it because a girl from france that was there that i had a crush on liked it, secondly, finding bts in 2018 and listening to this while staring at the stars in a black tshirt, flannel and jeans with converse(yes i was that kid) and feeling the very moist air hit the back of my neck after we just got back from someone’s house that was selling clothes from home.

i miss the old u - blackbear - a lot of these are on my balcony because i love the sky lol but this one is too and just standing on my balcony in autumn 2019 after i got back from school just to watch the sky melt into a coral pink and orange

how you like that - blackpink - summer 2020, all i did was learn to play the ukulele and struggle with an issue i don’t wanna mention, the entire summer, with this playing in the background, i got my new laptop so i blasted this on there instead of my phone like most of the others on this list, also worked out to this song a lot

fly away - thefatrat - playing transformice in 2017 for HOURS and talking to dodgy people on there

dirty laundry - blackbear - you guessed it, getting ready for school in 2019, same as most other blackbear songs

god’s menu - skz - this came out the day after i got my laptop and the day that i got my ukulele, i remember watching the online concert while i waited for my mum to come home and bring me the uke, i watched it in my room in the dark and i literally had way more fun that i probably should have but they were so hyped up it was lovely

chateau - blackbear - autumn 2019 on my balcony watching the sunset

wonderland - caravan palace - similar to how you like that, listened to this all of summer 2020 while i was struggling with that issue, i used to pace around the second floor of my apartment with this song on and strut to the beat

feel special - twice - just when school started in 2019, i watched every studio ghibli movie that summer so i associate this song with those, i used to get ready for school with this blasting, and i remember dreaming about sana sitting in the rain a few times

pumped up kicks - going home from bulgaria in 2017 and getting stuck with no gas or cash in a little border town, we got there super late and most money exchanges were already closed so we had to get money from someone’s basement:) also summer 2020 when i learned to play this on the uke and it’s super easy and still my favourite one to play

why’d you only call me when you’re high - march 2018, i was making sugar cookies with leftover frozen dough from the last time i had made them, and while they were in the oven i went out on the balcony just to stare at the stars on the west

wow - danceracha - january, gameshow, that’s all i’m gonna say, i’ve been skipping through the songs once i wrote what i had to say but i’m gonna have to let this absolute bop play through, it’s the gay in me, why is this song so good what the FUCK

faggot - msi - reminds me of my childhood for some reason i think it was played a lot in some places, reminds me specifically of when i would walk home with my mum and see people sitting in an internet cafe we passed everynight that had neon signs inside

chronosaurus - april 2019, lee know saying tick tock tick tock getting closer was stuck in my head, almost got youtube premium just to be able to download that music video, may 2019, went on a school trip and listened to this on the days leading up to it, currently waiting for lee knows tick tock tick tock getting closer to play omfg why does he say it so well sjflkfj

505 - arctic monkeys - autumn - winter 2020, just sat in my dining room playing this and staring off into space

victory song - skz - LISTEN TO THIS 승전가, jisung and chan lifting their shirts lived rent free in my mind for a few months after this came out

cherry - itzy - summer 2020, issues and dancing a lot

get cool - skz - just got into them, feb 2019, used to listen to this when i was trying to learn their names🥺

hayloft - mother mother - oooohh a recent one, late january 2021, fell in love with a tiktok girl and decided to get my life together, played geoguessr with this on loop

love scenario - ikon - may 2018 when i was just really starting to get into kpop, this was one of the first non bts songs that i loved, i used to listen to it while reading wattpad lol

snap out of it - jan 2021, gameshow, reminds me of felix for some reason

hot girl bummer - late summer 2019, crying at night because of anxiety and pretending i was okie dokey during the day

daddy issues - the nbhd - may 7th 2018, super stormy outside, it was my younger cousins birthday, i spent the day in this one oversized shirt with donald duck printed all over it pretending i was talking to my crush at the time and staring at the rain clouds

be with you - cadmium - summer 2020, pacing around my apartment and those issues and finding this song through a video about those issues, i can’t find the channel anymore:(

reckless healy - january 2020, i was doing eyeliner all the time and just vibing, i had my doggie and all i did was scroll through tiktok and listen to music

ghost - confetti - november 2020, pretending i was the main character while singing this through my entire apartment

knee socks - arctic monkeys - same exact thing as arabella

goodnight i’ve been writing for so long and i’m finally tired

#for me #u can see my sparkle dying out as i continued the songs lol

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