.

hiiii! I see you're opening a request…I've been waiting for you to open a request for quite a while and I really like your posts..can I make a request about Teru (tbhk) about s/o who loves the sea and I once had a wish that I would commit suicide at the beach…ummm..I know my request is quite strange, if you don't like it or don't want to write it, it's okay. Wish you have a nice day :333

S/O who loves the sea wanted to die there

[ HEADCANONS ] [ Teru Minamoto ]

[ Toilet Bound Hanako-kun / Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun ]

I completely understand that feeling, I think being hopless romantic and depressed isn't the type best convination

I really hope you like it! I did the best I can and I actually likes the idea, so thanks for requesting it 🖤

Teru has dedicated his life at his work of being an exorsist and he doesn't really had much freedom to get interested or to dedicate time on something that he really wanted, his relasionship with you is one of the things he let himself to be a little more selfish with, thats why Teru loves whenever you talk about what you love and are passionate about

Teru probably doesn't particulary finds the sea that interesting but he loves hearing you talk about what you like, so if you love the sea then Teru loves hearing you talk about it whenever you are just having time to relax, even if you dont know much or just loves how pretty is that doesn't stop Teru from finding it quite cute (and will probably tease you about it)

Whenever you learn something new related to the sea Teru is more than happy to heard you talk about it, or even if you want to rant about how much you love the sea is fine for him too (just not when he is busy, he prefer it to be when is just the two of you because it helps him relax from his stressful life), he even motivate you to talk about what you love from time to time just to be able to see you all happy and excited

Teru sometimes likes to daydream about the posibility of going to the sea with you and sharing the experience that he knows you'll love, thinking if having just some time for just you two to have fun and relax, honestly Teru thinks it would be amazing but is more likely that it won't be able to happen (or at least not soon) because of how demanding his work as an exorsist it is and how there are still things he has to take care of, so he just hold that wish as a distant desire (and is more likely that he doesn't tell you about it neither)

It can be that you say it by accident or that you decide to tell him that once you had the desire that die on the sea, commiting suicide somewhere you love so much, no matter how you ended up telling him this it is going to be something that get stuck in his head for way too long, making him anxious and incredibly worried, even when he doesn't express it. Teru tries to don't have much of a reaction when he heards it, treating it more as a joke or asking you where did you get that idea from but it is all just to don't let you know how bad this is affecting him

For Teru, letting you be close to even be in a relationship with you show that you are really important, you mean way too much for him and losing you is something that scares him, so you admiting that you have a desire that involves your own death makes him really nervous. Teru won't handle it too well, being anxious by the idea of losing you and yet being too stubborn to show you how much he worries, is more likely that Teru will be paying close attention to you for the next days, wanting to find out if is just something you thought once or if it is that you have an actual suicidal ideation (or even worst), he is too scare of asking because he fears that the answer he gets shows that you actually want to die, so he will more likely be in denial while also trying to get more information from you

Even if you reasure him that is something silly you thought some time ago he won't be too convinced and will still be cautious with how he talks and behaive with you, not wanting to upset you and just making sure you know he does love you and he will be really affected if something happens to you

Can you do a headcanon post of the Obey Me boys (except Luke) do "Boyfriend Does My Make Up Challenge" with f!MC? I saw this on Youtube once and thought it would be an interesting scenario? Cheerio!

🎨"BOYFRIEND DOES MY MAKE UP CHALLENGE!"🎨

💙LUCIFER

- trust him MC, he knows what he is doing.... maybe

- while lucifer isnt particulary skilled with makeup, he wont make you look like a clown... the final result will just look like you got a five year old do your makeup instead...

- not only that but if this idea is to be uploaded on youtube/deviltube, you can expect Lucifer to be a little more stiff and akward, to say he is a camera person would be like calling Asmo ugly, its just not true

- overall the result would look like this:

💛MAMMON

- ah yes the great Mammon also... has no idea what he is doing

- dont point that out to him however, there is a camera on and his confidence is out of the roof. Add such confidence to the very shiny and pretty glitter palette you own and umm... yeah

- he wont realize the charming mistake he is doing on your face until he accidentally slips his hand with the glitter and lipstick, when he sees your face its pure silence and embarrassment, do understand he tried

🧡LEVIATHAN

- why would you pick the stinky otaku man? To get an actual decent look? Have you lost it?

- levi is the second best option after Asmo and for obvious reasons, the main one is that he does cosplay, and in order to actually look like his characters he has has to master the art of makeup

- the final result is actually pretty good and the video results prove it, those who watch the video are quite impressed as well, please give him any sign of appretiation

💚SATAN

- he isnt the best, but he ain't the worst either, he knows enough to not make a disaster which is important

- spending enough time with Asmo has thought him a couple of tricks onto make one look nice with makeup

- the final result is pretty decent, not much color but it isnt all over the place unlike number 1 and 2

💖ASMODEUS

- best option, this man knows everything about beauty and he knows how to make you look even more beautiful with makeup, not as beautiful as him however so dont get to excited

- while he'll try to push in some pink because its probably his favorite color, he'll make any color work on you, you'll look like those aesthetical pictures on devilgram by the time he is done with you

- no need to worry with Asmo, you can just relax and let him do all the beauty work

❤BEELZEBUB

- no beel you cant eat the makeup

- ok no but seriously, beel could easily get distracted so make sure to have some snacks with you and that his attention is at you while you two do this challenge, that and keep your hopes down

- he is so enchanted by the variety of colors your makeup has that your face could easily look like a rainbow, and you could even make the look work if it werent cause of the absolute mess everything looks like

- the colors are almost nice, but the execution is very messy

💜BELPHEGOR

- he started of decently but then got tired so he just drew a smile on your lips with the makeup

- the funniest thing is that he started nicely... he just got tired... why????

- then again this is the avatar of sloth we are talking about here, it was only a matter of time until he got tired doing your makeup, you're lucky he was even awake for when you started the video

🤎DIAVOLO

- as an individual of royalty you'd think he'd know what he is doing, however if you have read the rest of this post you can easily see that looks are tricky

- another victim of the colorful paletter, you become again a mess of a rainbow, and yet he is sure he did such a good job

- you have no other choice but to show some kind of appreciation to the prince, i mean come on that smile of his! You look like a shiny pretty rainbow! He loves it!!!

💚BARBATOS

- neutral and dark tones work for barb on you, and he manages to pull off a great look onto you

- it almost has a emo/goth look to it, if you wish you could add a bit more to it and actually fit such looks

- not what you were expecting, but its not horrible enough to hate, its pretty fitting to you as well...

💙SIMEON

- simeon will try to keep the look as simple as posible, he'll also use more earthish tones since it makes your natural look pop out and he believes it fits you better

- he is surprisingly good as well and it looks very nice on you, these angels seem to know more than one could think

- the final result is simple but cute :)

🖤SOLOMON

- solomon's look is so shocking you cant even get a picture of the final result ( and no it isnt cause i reached the limit of pictures why do you ask?)

- solomon has seen makeup throughout the ages of humanity, somehow he managed to combine them all but the strokes you felt on your face have scared you into looking into the mirror and checking the video

- the final result is a mistery for everyone, only Solomon knows what he did and seeing your expression of fear, he wont describe the final result to you, never, NEVER!!!!!!

- (i reached the limit of images sorry solomon fans :( )

Autistic and in a relationship: lessons I learned

My first relationship ended not long ago and after thinking and analysing about every aspect of it here I am; ready to share with you what I’ve learned so that hopefully it can help someone else.

Being autistic often means experimenting a romantic relationship differently than most people. I want to share with you what I think are the good aspects, the challenging ones and those who could turn your relationship in a very toxic bound. This can be useful to people who are not autistic but I will focus on aspects that are specifically important to us.

Aspects that are heartwarming:

Having someone who knows about your autism and cares about you enough to adapt their behaviour around you: being around someone who will help you to get through a sensory overload or ask you if you’re fine in a noisy place is such a mood booster honestly.

Sharing stim toys with your partner: it can be super fun and it can help them understand why you use them, which one you like best, when do you use them and so on... It was an aspect I really liked.

Being comfortable enough to stim with them: not only is trust necessary in a relationship but it also feels super good to be able to stim freely around someone you love. Also it can slowly help you getting used to stim in public. Nothing like getting the support you need from someone you love very much.

Feeling like you’re being cheered on through the day even when you think you don’t deserve the support: having someone who understood that simple tasks take much more effort for me to accomplish than for most people was very comforting. I often feel like I don't deserve the praise, compliments or support because what I do is "normal" to neurotypicals but it was nice to have someone actually see me.

Feeling free to infodump about your special interest: if your partner makes an active effort to remember small things about your spln it is one of the best feeling honestly! Our special interests are often brushed aside by people around us because they don’t realise how important it is to us so having someone who gets it is priceless.

Giving love to someone and growing together: yes I know this one sounds vague and cliché but aren’t we just used to people not understanding our ways of showing love? Aren’t we used to be alone? Meeting someone who accept us, understand our love and is willing to grow alongside with us is beautiful and I hope every romantic person will be able to experience that in their lifetime.

Aspect that can be challenging:

Space (psychological and physical) is necessary for most autistic people. More than most people and it can be difficult for your partner to understand that. Be sure to set clear boundaries from the beginning and if your partner makes you feel guilty about them do not stay in a relationship with that person.

Physical contact can be complicated if you are in a relationship because chances are your lover will want to hug, hold hands, kiss and more and you won’t want to or not as often as them. (This is mostly valid if you are repulsed by touch or have this sense be particulary sensitive). It’s very important that you communicate with them about it. I don’t care if you need to make a list of moments when you can be approached or if you need to write them a lengthy text about it just please don’t make the same mistake as me and never force yourself to have physical contact if you don’t feel 100% comfortable with it (even if we’re “just” talking about holding hands!). Being in a relationship does not mean that you have an obligation to touch/let yourself be touched by your lover. They need to respect your boundaries and you need to know that guilt has no place here.

Difficulty to communicate will probably be a challenge so if you need to communicate by writing, sign language or drawings please inform your partner so that both of you can develop a communication style that works for both of you.

Change in routine can also be a tough one because if you spend your time with a lover, you have now someone to integrate to your daily life. Try to built a new routine from the beginning (don’t wait) and explain to them why you need to have a certain routine and why it is important that they respect that. Also if you need to know plans in advance (ex: for dates) tell them and expect them to respect that.

Dangers and how it can become toxic:

Communication: If you feel like you can’t communicate well with your partner: ask yourself the question “why?”. Is it because you don’t feel like they listen to you? Is it because they want to communicate in a way that you are not comfortable with? Did you communicate your needs and you feel like nothing has changed since?

If you feel like they don’t listen to you, consider your needs, value your opinions and interests and don’t make any effort to resolve this problem please reconsider your relationship.

Boundaries: Do they respect your boundaries? How do you feel when you are with them? Do you feel guilty most of the time? Do you have enough time on your own? Did you tell them what were your limits and did they respect them? Do you feel manipulated into doing things you’re not comfortable with?

If you feel manipulated, guilty, neglected, pushed into things you dont want to please reconsider your relationship.

Special interest: Do they make an effort to get to know your special interests? Do they give you time to get into your spln? How do they react when you talk about it?

Special interests are such an important part of who we are as autistic people so don’t stay with someone who can’t get bother to learn about what makes your eyes sparkle or even worse someone who belittles you for liking your spln!

I feel like I’ve wrote everything that comes to my mind on this subject but if you think of anything more don’t hesitate to comment or reblog and add your perspective on it :)

If you’re going through a breakup please take care of yourself, communicate with friends, express your feelings and take time for yourself. You are going to heal and move on I promise. <3

I see some poor anon lost their best friend and I lost my mother just recently. May I request some hc's of how the organization members would (at least try to) comfort someone who has lost someone dear? It's okay tho if you don't want to ^^ - M

 awe, sorry to hear that, nonnie ! and sorry for replying to this one so late too, hope 2020 brings you a lotta joy and happiness ! 

Xemnas : 

A part of him can relate to that feeling, even if he doesn’t understand exactly why or how. Nonetheless, Xemnas would simply listen to every word you had to get out of your chest - but if none come out, he’ll gladly stay by your side in absolute comforting silence. Sometimes, peace and quiet to calm the mind can do more than endless words of encouragement. And he’d be too awkward to just go and give you a hug, so the only thing he can do is offer you his company, along with time and a safe space to get your thoughts and feelings in order.

Xigbar :

One would expect Xigbar to take you to some whacky adventures so you can distract yourself from those negative thoughts and feelings - but he’s also dealt with his fair share of loss and he’s found that facing the facts and coming to terms with them helps more than idle and mindless fun. Of course, it takes time to gather the courage and stability to do so - but if you ever need a reality check and some down to earth advice for something this serious, Xigbar’s your guy. Honor the past and cherish the good memories, but dont dwell so much on them. Don’t let them hold you back !

Xaldin : 

Hands down, Xaldin s u c k s at comforting people, specially as a Nobody and his complex relationship with f e e l i n g s. What is he supposed to say in these situations ? Hell, even giving you a pat on the back is hard for him. Like, is it okay for him to do so ? What if you start crying ? ? Because of this, he can only say he’s a good listener, maybe give you some general words of advice here and there. However, he wouldn’t be against cooking something for you - a nice warm meal followed by a good rest is usually what he does whenever he has a bad day. You’re even welcome to steal from the cookie jar and brag about it to Demyx and Axel.

Vexen :

As a scientist, it’s very easy for Vexen to detach himself from emotional situations and come up with a straightforward and cold reply to your loss. It’s the way he deals with things that require a heart, after all. Brain = good. Heart = confusing. Easy peasy. Of course, when he realizes that this method clearly doesn’t work and that you’re about to smack him, Vexen would feel a b i t guilty and offer to help in a different way. It’s very easy to let yourself go after losing someone and accidentally adapt some unhealthy habits - this is where he comes in, helping you make a schedule so you don’t end up oversleeping, skipping meals or avoid being active.

Lexaeus : 

Lexaeus is also a silent listener, it’s just kinda how he rolls. But unlike Xaldin who struggles with it, Lexaeus is good at comforting others without the need of words. Definitely one of the very few people in the organization that would hug and hold you for as long as you need, not caring if you stain his coat with tears. His aura and willingness to protect others can make anyone feel safe with him, so you’re in good hands. Lexaeus would even give you one of his little puzzle toys, in case he can’t be around. They might be small, but they sure help a lot to distract you for a while and remember that he’s got your back. 

Zexion :

Zexion might be emotionally constipated due to his status as a Nobody, but he’s no stranger to the negative emotions of the human psyche. If you reach out to him, he’d be willing to help - but you gotta keep in mind that he’s still a kid at heart and hasn’t found the proper way to cope and deal with his own feelings. Still, Zexion makes up for his lack of knowledge when it comes to comforting with his extense collection of books ! He’d recommend you things to read, both literature you two could discuss as a past time and articles about dealing with loss and grief. He’d also make use of his powers to create illusions you might enjoy if you’ve had a particulary rough day.

Saix : 

Saix doesn’t comfort, at least not so openly like other members. His approach is pretty much the aftermath of Vexen’s idea to give you a schedule - so long story short, Saix is the one who’d enforce and make sure you follow it. Which means he’s gonna be on your ass most of the time and as annoying as that might sound (Demyx feels so bad for you because of this) if you squint really really hard, you’ll notice that he does care about your wellbeing. “You have to keep on moving” he’d say, while sending you into your 6th mission of the day, which simply consists on taking care of a few heartless and some general recon. You’ll also find that most of your reports have been already filled out, but hey, don’t ask him.

Axel : 

Another awkward guy - Axel has trouble comforting friends, but damn if he’s not going to try. The way he speaks is more than enough to cheer you up, or at the very least give you back that passion you had prior your loss, it’s like he sparks a fire in you ! You just gotta go all out, ride all of this out and. Cry, scream, feel everything you gotta feel and then kick back with people you can trust, eat some ice cream with them. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and held. Axel would totally invite you to join him, Xion and Roxas to their whacky adventures around Twilight Town.

Demyx : 

Very obvious, but Demyx would encourage you write a song about it. It’s what he does to sort his feelings out, figure out what feels right in the end. And besides, learning how to play an instrument is always fun - you also got the best (and only) music teacher in the organization ! If that’s not your cup of tea, then you can try any other artistic outlet. Dancing, writing, etc etc. Demyx is fully aware that fortnite dancing at 3 am is not going to fix his problems, but it sure helps him stay grounded and remember that life is not as serious as we make it out to be.

Luxord : 

Luxord is very polite, so he won’t pry into your business - but the second he notices little changes in you like that permanent tired expression or the way you sigh a little too much on a daily basis, he’d invite you over for tea, subtly give you an excuse to talk to him and vent should you need it without being too invasive or forward. If you still can’t or refuse to open up, Luxord would take you for a walk around Wonderland or another colorful and fun world, giving you some advice in the form of his cryptid ramblings. When a door closes, another opens - and if there aren’t any, then you just have to open a window, get some fresh air and a new perspective.

Marluxia :

Marluxia can also relate to that. Surprisingly, he’d be very gentle, asking if you’d like to share some happy memories you have with that someone. Maybe even set up a small makeshift “shrine” in their honour, of course covered with their favorite flowers. He’s just happy to help you, listening to you reminisce and remember them with a smile on your face. It’s very shocking to see this side of him, given how flamboyant and eccentric he can be - but those passing encouraging smiles Marluxia gives you whenever he sees you are a great comfort.

Larxene :

Larxene is… Not the best choice if you want to be comforted. Her method is an extreme version of Xigbar’s, she’ll simply offer a quick “deal with it” and a hard “grow up and accept it”. While she might be impulsive and very emotional Larxene is actually a very logical person with a good understanding of her own feelings. What you can learn from her is that everyone needs to ultimately find their own way of coping and dealing with grief, no one else can tell you how or when to feel a certain way no matter how good their intentions might be. Take the good advice, but don’t depend on others for everything. Your way might be unconventional, but as long as it’s not hamrful for yourself and you’re aware of your limits, it’s good enough.

Roxas :

Roxas doesn’t know what to do, at all. So he’d simply ask about what YOU want to do now. How would you like to deal with these feelings and such. He’ll be there right next to you, even if you just wanna cry and sleep it off or if you want to distract yourself and never speak about it. Roxas is there, holding your hand all the way and making sure you know you’re not alone. Like Marluxia, he might also ask about the person you lost, just out of curiosity. And then maybe internally facepalm because oh shit, what if you don’t want to talk about it. The way Roxas worries about you, stuttering apologies and awkwardly explaining that he simply wants to make you feel better is so endearing that you can’t help but feel safe and sound.

Xion :

Xion would simply take you to Destiny Islands, to watch the waves, feel the sand and the sun on your skin. She wouldn’t ask at all, instead explaining that this is the place she goes to whenever she’s feeling confused, lost or just a little under the weather - and now, she wants to share this with you. You don’t have to say a thing, Xion doesn’t need to know your pain to realize that you just need a friend and a shoulder to cry on. Someone to rely on. The two of you would just spend the afternoon picking up seashells, exploring the island and relaxing. She’ll gladly listen if you have anything to say, but it’s okay, you’ve done enough. Let her take care of you now.

Cells at Work! Origins(a small rant)Big text ahead

Hi guys, how are you?

With this recent anime about the Human Body that came around, i was really happy on seeing something familiar in this time and age

BUT!

I’m kinda tired of seeing people on the internet  comparing this anime to the movie AND tv show “Ozmosis Jones”, which, in my opinion leaves me very sad.

As some of you must know, i’m a 25 year old grown woman, and in contrary to some of you young sprouts, I’ve seen lots of tv shows that you will never watch or even heard of(example: the beggining of CGI was not in movies but in tv cartoons like Insektors, Shadow Raiders and Reboot)

------------

Now, continuing this small rant, why do i feel sad and not that please with the “cells at work!” and “ozmosis Jones” comparation?

I do understand that for most of these youtubers and other people, Ozmosis jones is the only base they have as is one of the first “body related cartoon” they know. I watched the movie and the tv show and i see no similarities what-so-ever.

When i first saw the anime come out and watched the first episode, there was only one idea in my mind, and that was this:

This is a french cartoon that was about..You guessed...The human body.

Here you have the english intro:

In this cartoon, you can see how blood cells, white cells, platelets, monocytes, the different kinds of viruses and many others cells look. Very diferent from one another, dont they?

This is a cartoon from the 90′s, and this had many other collections like “Once upon a time...Man” or “once upon a time...Space”, which back then were very informative and educative.

Just like in the “Cells at Work!” anime, each episode would be about a certain part of the body and how it worked, all funny but still educative. And another thing it had but for a very breif moment, was it showed how other people’s bodies worked in case they did drugs, smoked or even drank alchool or ended up in the hospital after a really big accident. 

I’m not telling you that “oh shit now! this anime was completly based off on this french cartoon!!!”, no. I’m not telling you that. Eveeryone’s have an opinion and this is mine, and i respect other’s opinions(as long they dont come pouncing on me with death threats....), I’m just saying that, in my head, i feel like !Cells at Work!” feel alot like “Once Upon a Time...Life” than any other “human body cartoon” out there.

The unique character designs, the way they tell the story each episode, how they show us how virus and each cell work, they even show us - in the same episode - how the body goes when its dying and what happens during pregnancy(showing the development of a baby from the conception to birth).

They even talk about vaccination and how it works inside our bodies. The show its particulary simple but very full of information. 

I learned alot from this cartoon as a kid, and i would watch it all over again, even if its outdated nowadays, but its still very interesting to watch it.

Give it a chance and watch a few episodes. You wont regret it.

Thank you for reading all of this and have an amazing day.

Stuff that happen at school 2

Didn´t feel like doing anything yesterday so... Nothing particulary interesting happened for most of the week... Mostly custionable stuff about my school...

Monday: Arrived a minute before the bell ring... You see, in my school if you arrive after 7:00 ,last years they said we got 15 minutes in case we have an exuce but still..., I mean... Not sure if it´s a good idea but apparently nobody cares about us being traped in trafic... We have this thing where all students gather at the gym, we sing out national anthem and the teachers talk about the “news” for the week, we do that every monday so if you arrive late everyone is going to see you and most likely have the whole school staring and laugthing as you walk in front of everyone... There was this ting last year where teachers called you out and make everyone who got late stand in front of everyone and then have them clean everything... I think they dont do that anymore (I hope, I stay at the corner where I cant see what´s going on so...) nedless to say... I was freaking scared...

Tuesday: The school lets our parents come and bring us food, not really common though... Most people buy the food from school (bad choice, they serve the leftovers from the day before, and those dont even come from quiality food...) some people bring their own food (teachers barely let them use the microwave because students have to wait but teachers can do whatever they want...) I still prefer when my mom brings me food, and here´s something I need to clarify, in El Salvador most schools end around 12:00 to 1:00 p.m until you go to hightschool, then you can go out from 3:00 to 5:00 or even late, that means we have to eat there and let me tell you, we dont have any proper eating area (forgot how they are called), I haven´t seen other schools but ours only has a few tables and only a few classrooms, that day every classroom was closed... my mom gave me my food and asked where I was going to eat... I was originally going to ask a teacher if I could stay at her classroom but she said is was only to store backpacks (yeah... apparently backpacks are more important than student ...), when hearing that my mom just got angry and yell at her... I ender up eating on a table close to the bathrooms... that made her go yell at another teacher... I should mention that I was apologizing with everyone she got mad at...

Wednesday: The principal yelled at my mom because she got mad at the teachers, now let me tell you something, our principal acts like a nice lady who wants to teach stuff to everyone but in reallity she would make us go trought everything just to get some money, she´s quite hypocrital for most of the time, like there was this time she was acting nice with my mother and I just so she can ask us a favor and then just stoped caring after all, we got this project going on where some company sells us books that will “make us bilingual” (even though they feel robotic and just hard to understand) she sometimes makes me speak on english on ramdom moments and tells everyone it´s because their project, so yeah... She´s not the way she wants to be seen, telling parents that they aren´t allowed to enter at the school and even taling crap about employees who quited their job... Im sure my mom´s making an "Im done with this lady” parents/ ex employee army...

Thursday: Didn´t go that day, my mom did report all the weird stuff that go on, lets hope that someone does something, the school I go does some shady stuff, as a kid everything seemed normal, not even my mom or grandparents saw anything weird except for some moments... Like that time I was getting bullied and a teacher told me to never tell anyone about it, the lady who´s in charge of little kids made my grandma cry, a teacher calling me retarded (I was a five year old and she say that in front of my grandparents...), having to pay for stuff that should be free, like 25 cents if you want to wear something that´s not the uniform (25 cents for the shirt, other for the pants and other 25 cents because why not), and I heard from this guy who use to work there (a friend of the family) that one lady put a kid inside oven as a punishment... I dont know why people think this is some kinds of rich kids private school, ask anyone and you see what that place really is...

Friday: Finally something good, the crazy science teacher we all love keeps doing weird stuff at class, like saying our homework is to watch movies (the man always finds a way to make them fit in whatever we are seeing at the moment) and taling about aliens, he even does this “if you where one of the last humand, who would you choose to be the rest?” and let me tell you, the reasons why some people choose others are always freaking hilarious, and he keeps doing weird stuff like “how to shrink your arm” and this one guy tried it (the same guy from the improvised ouija board, who I will be refering as Supreme Barbie because he called himself that) and oh man... He released the most hight pitched scream I have heard...

Confused again, thinking too much

I dont understand him and I dont understand me. The big thing is: ... but! I asked again, just a moment ago: am I still honey to you.. and he said, of course you are! Dont be afraid of such a a things.

But he is driving me crazy. As I dont get what he thinks. Somethimes he wants me and another moment he says find somebody else. So he doesnt want anymore. And somethimes he says lets do the business together and next time: lets wait. Dont rush. And if I decide ahah ok, I will not hope, suddenly he says, but what about the business, I invited others even and show me the premises. And next moment: no. Lets wait. Ok...

But these are the facts in chronological order, time only a week (!). Last weekend he invited me to spend the night with him. And it was too less time and saturday I had hangover and felt bad and weak and sunday I had to work and I did and he didnt like that at all, he was dissapointed and said he misses me.. and.. he just wants to be with me and wants to hold me and wants to be together with me. It is hard to believe it.. even now.. also a bit earlier, he said he wants to talk about us to everybody. And he doesnt care what happens. He will not find it embarrassing anymore. Also a new thing about him..and hard to believe for me.

But I had some new doubts.. because our secret was no longer a secret for one girl. And she knows also his name and she have even met him. And she guessed it herself.. Option 2.. somehow she knew it.. maybe she is a witch..

But I had my doubts about my life.. what I want and the more and more it seams let alone, is not for me. So I checked once more: what if I get divorced: you will not start living with me? The answer is no, yes? And: boom: he sayd: he is not 100% sure any more 😳😳.

I was in shock. And we met. And he was different. He said me compliments. He was little bit shy. It was on Monday.

But then.. the time passed and end of week, Friday we met for loger, he was ordinary him. Not particulary sadder or anything, just as ee always are together.

And today, it is our 1year anniversary.. he talkes me and one our friend are match made in heaven.. power couple.. and If I could find somebody, he could feel nothing. Ok he said he still cares. And dont worrey. But... But... How to understand him 😭

I can only cry and wait 😭

Okay This is one of my all time fav film and an all time fav spidey film too it has everything i wanted and everything i never expected i would see in a spider man film

First of all Tom Holland as Spider-Man is the best thing that ever happened to human beings after the discovery of electricity and i meant it with my whole fucking heart , HE IS FANTASTIC AND NEVER SEEN BEFORE SPIDEY in my opinion he is the best action spiderman we have ever had yeah fuck andrew garfield and tobey maguire only Losers connect themselves with their spiderman’s potryal Tobey maybe the best Peter Parker even now and by a long shot , yes he is , Tom’s peter parker needs a lot of grooming but as Spiderman i Think Tom holland has done an amazing and fantastic Job and i just love and admire him in this role man , my words cant even explain how much i love him in this character , HE IS JUST PERFECT

and now talking about Mike keaton , he is the best Vulture i have ever seen in Movies/ animated tv shows , He is the best and Keaton did a very great Job , he brought the life , depth , intensity and intimidation to the character and i wasnt hoping any of this things from him , He was so BAD-ASS in single .

now lemme talk about the film This is the best spiderman film that has come after Spider-man 2 Jon watts perfectly understands the characters and delivers the perfect material to spidey fans and now instead of doing the same routine shit he tries something different this time ( unlike the tasm which actually did the same thing raimi did but worse ) , this is the most unusual spiderman film anyone could ever think or dream of and it is fucking great , Jon watts understands the characters really very well and he added some depth to spiderman , vulture and to the whole theme of this film and he made it really lovely , fun and enjoyable for me to watch , i am just saying this film has everything we expect from a CBM and even more , there is not even a single boring element or scene in the entire film , it is so entertaining and i really loved the pacing of this film and the tone , atmosphere really worked well and hit very hard on me . i watched it thrice when it was in cinema and i watched it 20 times after its digital release and you guys dont even know how much this film means to me .

The action scenes were dope as fuck , every one of them particulary the last flight sequence and the elongated ship sequence , Tom Holland as spiderman did an amazing job here

There are some scenes in the film where Peter Parker struggles within himself as Spiderman and peter , where he wants to enjoy his life just like everyone else but he is SPIDER-MAN DUHH , something which he never asked and now he has the “ Great Responsibility” to fill up and this constant struggle is tearing him apart and jon watts showed all these emotions and sequences in two fucking shots , I MEAN TWO FUCKING SHOTS WITH 4 OR 5 SECONDS screen space , imagine it : - twitter.com/CrazyFilmyFreak/status/1244835089126572032

Onemore thing which i love about this film is it stays very grounded and we can feel it , Jon watts just didnt want us to love spiderman but he also wanted us to admire peter parker and he did a great Job in doing so .

and coming back to action sequences the last flight sequence is sexy as hell , Peter parker’s first spidey suit ( the clumsy one ) shines brighter than a star at night and Vulture was too sexy as hell with his tech and the whole sequence was really intimidating , thrilling and hell of a show to watch and the ship sequence was insanely heroic but Since it is peter parker he tried to do something great above his shoulders and he screwed it up but thanks to Tony Stark in the film he saves him this time and the whole sequence was lit !!!

Speaking of Tony stark , RDJ had some valuable screen time here and he was nothing but entertaining and fun to watch , i will never forget his look at the indian wedding lol and he says some pretty “ Uncle ben ” stuff dialogues in all of his appearences thru out the film and he too did a fantastic Job .

Now speaking about peter parker’s life Ned was a perfect friend to Have for This version of Spiderman , he also saved him once this film ( saved his ass ) and that scene was really good and he is the perfect guy in the chair , Now Peter’s Love interest ( LIZ ) is just adorable man , i never shipped them together but after watching it this time i think i understand the innocence & essence of their relationship and i really wish to see more of Liz in future Spidey Films maybe after he goes to college or something ? and i ship them more hard as a couple now ever then before and Zendaya as MJ is a very supirising twist for me , and speaking of which she is a very interesting character and interesting spidey’s love interest and she made some points in the film.

Overall I Just Love and adore this film man and everything in this film is a pure Treasure for me and i love Spidey’s suit a lot , it is so sexy . This is the Spidey movie we all have waited before been and Its also the best Spider-Man movie of the bunch.

Some of the Screen Caps : twitter.com/CrazyFilmyFreak/status/1244648131397992449

What was put together was spread apart can I take  what was valueable with me? Can I carry it inside of me? A relationship that was build on a foundation made of traumatic memories to outrun them to gain some monomentum To use and to be used to adore and to be adored you give what you get you get what you give Im not any better than you youre not any better than me just a mirror image of what the other felt Theres a part of me that wants to stay theres a part of me that wants to leave I love, I adore, I see it all nuanced I see the flaws, the hurt that was caused the good and the bad, Theres a part of me all it does it paint it bad theres nothing good here well this was useless a waste of our time This is the part of me that was the most hurt  this is the part of me that needs love the most to heal Cruel words and pushing away and speaking words like knives and acting betraying this is the part of me  that is the most scared hiding by words that aim and hit

This is just the sort of child I was

Dont come any closer with sweet words and with care that will only make me want more itll only be taken from me anyway Right when im settled in when I get used to it itll, itll be used to betray me again, give me sweet promises of love Of a safe home, of a good future, and then tell me there were conditions to it I never knew I agreed to, if I want to keep being taken care of i have to strip of my clothes now, let you see, cant hide a single thing from you, have to show you everything, so you can eat me up like im candy, engrave love, love, love that feels like being killed, killed, killed’ Right when im settled in when I get used to standing in the limelight when I get used to having eyes on me it turns out that the eyes I believed to be wellmeaning turn and deceive, strip it down, then pull it down show me what youve really hidden now that my guard is down you want me to touch, to touch you like that, Ah I see, im just something to be used Im just a toy, if I want to be treated well I need to spread my legs apart, I need to embrace, embrace you with a smile smile sweetly as if I mean it, even if I hate it, Did you really think id ever surrender to that sort of thing? Did you really think id ever play our your fantasies for you? I am not that sort of child, I am much more stubborn than that I know what you want, what the world wants, adorable, and sweet and cute innocence innocence, innocence, innocence you can abuse, abuse, abuse to your hearts delight You always speak of love with such a grown up expression I dont think I like love I think I dont enjoy love so if you want to take it away from me go ahead Trying to reward me to reward me  with love? I dont need no rewards I life in such a hopeless world but its better than to reach for something I dont have any desire I am completely empty You want me to show you whats underneath my skirt but I dont wanna show you any part of me I dont want you to even look at me stop looking, looking at me, dont want you as much as look at me, id rather be invisible

Cause I already figured you out, you dont love me, love me at all you only love her, her, her but she’ll never be me, i’ll never be her Your fantasy is inside of me I will never play it Your fantasy is inside of me She is inside of me, inside of me, I will never let her out

Fighting for your love, how useless is that? Fighting for my fathers love, why would I do that? Fighting, fighting, fighting to be embraced, isnt that a waste of time? Fighting for what I care about? I dont care about anything. Youre only fantasizing of  a perfect little girl that is going to embrace all you are with all of your hurtful flaws that is going to act as if youre perfect even as you abuse her that is going to say yes to everything you ask whilst still remaining perfectly headstrong so you dont have to feel bad Ive no desire, and no want I am quite content on my own other people just get in the way of my peace of mind, Fighting against bullies? I dont really care about their words. People trying to tickle a reaction out of my emotionless face? I dont know why that should be a concern of theirs? Fighting back when im pushed into the ground? If I just lie quiet its gonna stop eventually, dont really see a reason bother. Fighting back when someone tries to get to close? I’ll push back so violently, violently, that boys crying, crying, crying, shouldnt have gotten in the way, huh? A knife pointed at me? Am I supposed to feel something right now? Another day my dads lashing out at me? Am I supposed to feel something right now? Another time my moms expecting me to babysit her? Am I supposed to feel something for her right now? Theres a part of me that takes everything I love away erases any trace of happiness and joy erases any trace of passion to keep me safe, safe, safe In nothingness You want me to fight for your love? I dont care. You want me to care about you? Why would I?

Did you really think id surrender, id ever surrender? Did you really think id ever break and turn appeasing? Did you really think id ever give in? I break, I break every part of me that loves, I break, I break it all apart, I break the desires I feel until they are nothing nothing nothing the spaces inside my heart that used to be full are filled with emptiness now I got rid of all the useless junk I cant say that theres anything in this world I am particulary inclined towards I cant say theres anything in this world I feel fondly for I cant say that theres anything in this world I love Theres a weak part of me that tries to see the good in others theres a weak part of me that tries to work to hard to make others happy with her theres a weak part of me that believes in love theres a weak part of me that is terribly starved for the attention and the affection theres a weak part of me that is greedy, and overly attached I dont like her very much can I kill her?

People always try to give us love filled with poison and she always wants to give it a try before deciding its not for her but then she tries to get them to love her differently then she tries to explain to them what they are doing wrong then she tries to explain to them how to get better then she tries to love them even though they cant ever love her back in the way she needs, then she tries to force her perceiptions onto them, getting to involved, burdening others with how nosy she gets, prying them apart, analyzing them, climbing inside of them and then they get obsessed with her and she gets hurt, hurt, hurt and doesnt understand why She thinks shes almost a grown-up now she thinks shes all grown-up now, I may be a child, but im more mature than her Im so much more mature You think you could outgrow me just like that? You think you can do it without me now? You think you dont need me anymore? Do you think im cold? Do you think im unfair? Who has protected you? Who kept you safe? You may pass judgement on me but without me, youd probably be on your dads lap right now a perfectly obedient little whore,  with your holes filled out by his love’ with his rotten, rotten, rotten, perverted love, who protected you, who protected you, who protected you? That was me. Depression keeps you safe you dont need any motivation that could get you hurt, Fantasies keep you busy so you dont do anything dumb, keep your heart alive, practice for later, not moving keeps you safe, when you make no noise you cant alert him, when you hide you cant be found, nobody can hurt you when they cant find you, youre safest, safest, safest away from people You dont deserve to have nice things if you cant produce them yourself so you better learn, come on, come on, Push everyone away and never ask for help, If you cant do it yourself maybe its better to sleep your life away instead? If you cant do something, just cut the need for it off Its cute how you think youve figured it all out Its cute how you think youre a grown up now but even if you are, youll always need me, need me when you love people to much or want their attention or love to much, dont be such a dumb bitch and open your eyes to the truth, some people will never change some people will never be good for you what good is there in seeing nuance? Youll never make a decision that way, if it breaks someone elses heart  they should have protected it better, its their own fault for getting hurt by you

In this world its kill or be killed but youre not very strong or brave cuz thats a dumb way to be anyway standing in the limelight, in the middle of the action will always get you beaten down the worst, fade into the background and youre safe, In this world its kill or be killed, if youre not stronger than your dad then you need to be smarter, outsmarted him again, Play it like a game, you’ll always win, If you can predict your opponents movements then you dont need to be stronger you just need to be prepared better Never put yourself in the shooting line if you really want something, dont go get it for yourself use someone else to get it for you, why should you be the one to risk it? Let someone else risk it, and if they get to demanding for favours in return for it just leave them too, youre cute, you can always find new When they start speaking of love Its time to run, to run, when you start seriously enjoying your time around them and you start missing them when they are gone its time to run, to run you cant allow yourself to get attached to anyone in a brutal world like this love is deceitful, itll never make you happy all love does it cause harm, all love does it cause terrible hurt, you cant ever outright ask for help people will try to make you dependant on them, take what they give willingly so they cant act like you owe them a return for it, You really wanna be a part of the world now, huh? You think youve outgrown me, huh? But where would you be without me? Youd be totally dependant on that little psychopath youre related to, youd have given her to much power over you, she was good to you then, but would she have stayed that way let you have her have all she wanted from you? Would you have given her all that certainity what leverage would you have had? You may tell me im a dishonest cunt, and insult me, but ive always kept you safe, you wanna tell me I am a traitor or that you seriously “loved” these people, but thats your fault not mine, for going against what is safe, youre so overly emotional, so unnecessarily honest you give people to much certainity, you cant control them like that The best way of controlling someone is to do it with them thinking they are the one actually on top people are conceited so they wont question it to deeply People have a fantasy of ruling the world use their dumb delusions to control them from behind the throne, that’ll always break eitherway kings and queens come and go but the one that is powerful is the one that controls from behind the scenes without ever being seen You think living that way isnt very fun? You think this is about having fun? This is about survival The heart you have  is the most precious part of you so dont let anyone in it or they’ll try to use it against you try to get you on your knees playing little doll for em, didnt your dad show you? Didnt he show you what “love” is? Do you want your dad to love you that badly? Then go and become his little whore with no personality or soul of her own, become a fantasy fullfillment, become a puppet, you’ll be a warm, warm, warm little toy you’ll have all the attention and affection you ever wanted but is this really the life you want? Right, I didnt think so, so why are you trying to fight me just say “thank you” instead cuz without me youd have been done for’ Do you want to love and to be loved? Do you want to be honest and upfront with people? Do you want to tell people what you really think? Do you wanna show them how you really feel? Do you wanna give them a second chance after theyve already proven they wouldnt even try to empathize with you when youre at your most hurt? That sounds like you, the “grown-up”  are way more immature than me, believe in love all you want but theres some things you’ll never get to do I just want to protect our heart from furtive hands why cant you understand? Im not trying to be mean,  Im just trying to do what is right for us in a world that doesnt care, ah right, you think the world cares now, right? Ah suddenly people are good to you, do you know why that is? its cause youre happy now and they want some of that happiness too, people feel energized when they are around energetic people, but people dont wanna be around people who are truly in need of help people abandon those who need it the most, the same people that like you now, would abandon you the second you lost your balance again, whats good about that? what do you need them for? What was put together is taken apart, like interpersonal connections you held on for to long look you may wanna tell me im no longer needed do you wanna abandon me? after everything ive done for us? do you wanna tell me ive been wrong all along when living the way you do now would have gotten you raped back then? You wanna say the times have changed, You wanna tell me the good was always there we just were unfortunate and born in an enviroment that didnt allow us to reach there, but if the good only wants the good then dont you have to deny me completely to fit in? How is that not betraying yourself?

Maybe thats true Im no longer needed are you telling me  you want me gone? Thats alright, I dont want your love anyway I dont want you to embrace me anyway Thats fine just dont come crying later you’ll never get me back

I need to say this: searching in people's twitter/Facebook history whatever, looking activily for problematic thoughts is really a shitty thing to do. Let me explain and im not saying this for anyone in particular.

Im NOT the same person i was when i was 11 years old. In fact i was pretty homophobic at that age but i didnt even knew was homophobic was. I know i was because of the knowlege i have now and after reflecting my past behavior/ideas. I grew up in a really small ultra catholic conservaty town, where the only gays you knew was the gays that worked in hair salons and in fact they were so "different" to what you considered "normal" and you grew up going to church every sunday hearing a man telling you that being gay was a sin. I didnt realize how toxic and hurtful this was for a lot of people until i wrote in a forum "if is true this anime character is gay?" (i dont remember the exact words i was 12 years old) but they were obv so offensive (even though i didnt use any direct offensive words) that a lot of people in this forum replied stuff like "well if he is, what's the problem?" Even a person DM me and told me that homophobic people in fact were secretaly gay. I felt attacked and i hadnt realized the impact of it or why; but i started to get educated in this forum for YEARS, it was not something i learned the day after: i started to get "comfortable" (that was the feeling i was feeling because this was a NEW thing to me) reading gay fanfiction, talking to gay people who was on this site and then i started to reflect my own way of thinking until i became the girl im now: so advocate of lgbtiq rights in my country, enjoying and accepting my bisexuality. But this didnt happen because i attended to school (in fact my school was pretty homophobic and i had shitty experiencies there) not because my conservative catholic parents educated me (I am everyday educating them) it was because literally i grew up on an internet forum where i met gay people, who educated me, who never allowed hate speech.

And you may say "oh well thats not an excuse" not its not but if you grew up being such a good person and having an extensive knowlege of the culturally and sexual diversity of our World, well congratulations! It means you grew up in a good enviroment with open-minded parents, in a country not ultra catholic and with an excelent system education who teached you to respect everyone.

If knowing that something is wrong is enough well the world would be totally different. An idea itself isnt enough if you dont contextualized it in the enviroment you're planting it. Even today, i have had only met 2 gay persons in my town and they were closeted.

I was so lucky i spend so much time on Internet in this forum meeting people around the world, because if that had not happened, i would surely have grown up being homophobic and being a closed minden person in general.

I believe you can change, i truly do. I believe in good education with context. I still today have a lot of things to change in my mentality, i like to do "plot twist" in my mind because i dont want to stuck in a single mentality.

People are not really bad, they're just not educated at all. People fear and reject what they dont know or dont understand, because it dont fit in their small, religious, poorly educated and poorly economic organized world, and this thing get worse if this particulary thing have never seen it in their life or if they have heard that it is a sin from person who represents their sacred religion

And change doesnt not happen a day to other. I still educate my friends every day and we're lucky we have access to Internet, access to other person experiencie, country, life in a single click.

For that reason i believe its really shitty to judge people for what they wrote 5 or 10 years ago. If you were an unproblematic and progressive and really educated teeneger, well good for you but not everybody grew up in your same afortunate enviroment

But i think also that if after you are educated and you have access to spaces where you can learn about social issues that You ignore and being enlighted in important things for our society and STILL you refuse to listen, to learn, to have empathy and respect, you refuse to reflect on your past/present behavior and thoughts, then fuck u. Because you have access to really change and you dont want because you dont care.

Anyway srly people stop doing that shit.

.

.

Btw english it's not my first language i'm sorry if there are a lot of spelling and grammar mistakes i am empiric.

Conflict resolution; TUNNING IN ✨ To nurture and cultivate our Relationships we must learn to tune in to the other person, this is particulary helpful when conflict comes up. How do they feel? What do they need in this moment? Whats the best way to aproach this situation based on how this person feels? With everything I have learnt about this person, how can my actions make them feel seen, heard and felt right now? How can I show them love and understanding? What would benefit the relationship the most right in this second? . . . If we dont tune in, if we dont put the time and energy to learn about them, how can we know whats the best thing to do? How can we truly connect? Its essential that we work on ourselves individually too, so we are able to be present with eachother's painful emotions. We need to also take the time to tune in with ourselves, learn to feel and understand our own inner conflict, manage our triggers and understand our inner world. We need to expand our own emotional consciousness. When we develop awareness around our inner conflict we are naturally more compassionate and ready to be present with other people through their struggles. If we dont take the time to heal our wounds then other people's triggers will be a trigger for us, we may end up even blaming them and projecting in order to avoid looking at our own shadow. Conflict is an opportunity to deepen intimacy and closeness but we can also let it separate one another, its our choice. If we let our ego take the lead, if we are defensive, it will damage and destroy the relationship. However vulnerability, openess and compassion lead to intimacy, it strengthens the relationship. Its all about becoming aware of what is going on within ourselves in the moment and creating a safe space in which we can connect and heal together. Much love your way, Zion ✨ If you need guidance or support with conflict resolution and emotional healing contact me.

Conflict resolution; TUNNING IN ✨ To nurture and cultivate our Relationships we must learn to tune in to the other person, this is particulary helpful when conflict comes up. How do they feel? What do they need in this moment? Whats the best way to aproach this situation based on how this person feels? With everything I have learnt about this person, how can my actions make them feel seen, heard and felt right now? How can I show them love and understanding? What would benefit the relationship the most right in this second? . . . If we dont tune in, if we dont put the time and energy to learn about them, how can we know whats the best thing to do? How can we truly connect? Its essential that we work on ourselves individually too, so we are able to be present with eachother's painful emotions. We need to also take the time to tune in with ourselves, learn to feel and understand our own inner conflict, manage our triggers and understand our inner world. We need to expand our own emotional consciousness. When we develop awareness around our inner conflict we are naturally more compassionate and ready to be present with other people through their struggles. If we dont take the time to heal our wounds then other people's triggers will be a trigger for us, we may end up even blaming them and projecting in order to avoid looking at our own shadow. Conflict is an opportunity to deepen intimacy and closeness but we can also let it separate one another, its our choice. If we let our ego take the lead, if we are defensive, it will damage and destroy the relationship. However vulnerability, openess and compassion lead to intimacy, it strengthens the relationship. Its all about becoming aware of what is going on within ourselves in the moment and having the courage to feel, to be honest with ourselves and open up. Its about creating a safe space in which we can connect and heal together. Much love your way, Zion . . . ✨ If you need guidance or support with conflict resolution and emotional healing contact me.