#i do know that there two ways to get passed an obstacle tho. around it or through it
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Artists creating specifically to sell and trading off (some of) their own style to do it, activists begging for attention and shares and media coverage because they aren't being paid enough attention, UNWRA desperate for donations, the percentage of people who don't mask in 2024 compared to deaths and disabilities, ppl who need to be convinced to vote with principles that save lives and that genocide is unacceptable, how a living wage or UBI is believed to be "unrealistic" despite the trillions in shareholder investment accounts.
....I'm starting to think Mainstream People™ fucking suck, ngl. In fact, dare I say that Mainstream People are the biggest obstacle to progress now.
Malcolm X said it was the white liberal as did a lot of other revolutionaries and thinkers.
I, however, think anyone who can hold their own comfort over someone else's suffering is the problem.
Why are the rest of us constantly begging and shouting and changing ourselves and our bodies in an effort to make them care about us? To make them see us? To give us rights? To bless us with the support needed to make a living?
Same shit, different generations. And idk about y'all, but I would love to be the last generations who ever had to hate themselves to survive.
#For starters: why are we asking and voting and protesting for rights. HELLO??#THEYRE RIGHTS. THEYRE ALREADY OURS.#Secondly: it's been 500 years since pilgrims arrived#they do not call the shots anymore. And one of my rights is to form my own militia#to protect me from a fucked up government... are we waiting for an invitation to start calling shots? or whats the plan with that#cuz im good#id like to start talikg whats mine now ty#....anyway i have no fucking clue what to do#i do know that there two ways to get passed an obstacle tho. around it or through it#idk if you can just Workaround the majority and idk how to go through them either#reblog#politics#mainstream#dems#repubs#liberals#people#sociology#idk#equality#classism#capitalism#biden#lgbt#direct action#leftist#ndn#queer#2024#social justice
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accidental marriage
pairing: kaeya x gn!reader
summary: where fate gets impatient watching you two dance around each other and decides to take matter into its own hands.
note: i was gonna do zhongli and childe as well but this got way too long. lmk if you do want to see them with this trope tho!
with mondstadt’s reputation as a paradise for wine lovers, you’ll be surprised to learn that people actually don’t get drunk-married that often
this is because the church of favonius usually has a strict code against granting marriage licenses to people under the influence of alcohol
keyword: usually.
rosaria personally doesn’t care much for rules or codes or whatever- she adheres to them, sure, but not if they pose as obstacles. and right now, you and kaeya throwing a tantrum in the cathedral because she won’t give you two a marriage license is a severe obstacle.
she’s supposed to be resting, damnit, not take care of two very drunk idiots who obviously don’t even know what they’re doing.
but congratulations, you’ve annoyed her to the point where she no longer cares. she pulls out two certificates and lets you sign your wobbly signatures and throws the license across the table. she’s not going to be the one filled with regrets anyways.
plus, she’s had enough of your stupid pining. she’d have to be blind to miss the less than platonic glances you share every time you’re in each other’s vicinity.
when you wake up next morning with a throbbing headache, your first instinct is to tip back into dreamland, but then you hear a groan from the living room. suddenly you’re wide awake and alarmed.
“who’s there?” you called sternly, ready to throw hands despite the dull numbness paralyzing your limbs.
you see someone’s hand grasp the back of the sofa at first, then familiar blue hair comes into view (which now looks like a bird nest, by the way). finally, one visible and dreary eye settles on you.
“good mor-”
“what the hell are you doing in my house?” you roll out of bed. something on his finger catches the early sunlight. “what- when did you get married?”
his gaze moves steadily from your face to his hand, then back to you. “when did you get married?”
confusion clouds your head, which eventually turns to shock. when you finally find the license among other miscellaneous things, you feel like you’re going to pass out.
you consider going back to sleep. this has to be a dream, a nightmare, even. but the man sprawled out on your couch is painfully real and the ice-sculpted rings on your hands are not going away by themselves.
(technically you can just pull it off but… for some reason that doesn’t cross your mind at all)
both of you return to angel’s share in hope to gain recollection about how everything came to this. the whole walk is filled with kaeya being dramatic and acting like a lovesick husband and you threatening to dangle him in front of the city gate.
charles jumps a good mile into the air when you stomp into the tavern demanding for answers, and wastes no time to recall the previous night
after that, you’re rendered completely silent.
“so you proposed to me,” kaeya taps his finger on the wooden counter. “persistently. on your kn-”
“archons, i get it,” you groan, shame rising to your face. “i would really appreciate a burrow for me to hide in right now.”
kaeya opens his arms.
“haha.” you say dryly. “look, i’m gonna fix this, okay? we can just apply for an annulment. i will explain that it was all a mistake, it’s just the alcohol talking…” you trail off, heaving a heavy sigh.
“personally, i don’t really mind, snowflake,” he turn his torso to face you. “though i have doubts about this being a mistake.”
“what do you mean?”
“are you sure it couldn’t have been something you’ve wanted for a long time? maybe the alcohol only gave you the courage to profess your undying love for me. in vino veritas, you know.”
in wine, truth. you chew the inside of your cheek and shake your head. “hate to burst your bubble, but it’s no want of mine.”
“ouch,” he puts his hand to his heart. you roll your eyes at him. “what if it’s something i’ve been wishing for, then?”
you almost buy it for a second. instead of responding and possibly exposing yourself, you keep your silence.
he goes on, “well, not as far as marriage, obviously. but i’m sure you know what i’m talking about. you’re deadly obvious, anyways.”
“…am i?” you mumble. he nods. “in that case… i suppose there’s some truth to it.”
his features immediately bloom into happiness, but before he can get a word in, you add, “we’re still getting divorced though. then we’ll try a relationship, which is definitely how it normally goes.”
“mm. got it. but don’t you think it’s a bit of a waste? it’s not every day you get married.”
there’s a flash of mischief in his eye. you stare at him for a good minute…
you end up pranking the whole city for a week. the frozen look on diluc’s face when he gets informed is one that you will never forget.
nor will you forget how he bans you two from the tavern for a whole month afterwards.
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As someone who relatively enjoyed MI7 (bc I go no thoughts mode and just watch Tom run around), im sooo curious about your thoughts
im putting this under the cut cause I need to rant about it again and its gonna be LONG, thank you for asking tho
a lot of this is gonna be a repeat of what I said when I watched the movie (I have not seen it since it was in theatres), idk where those posts are but they should be under #mi7 spoilers if you wanna find them.
okay first off im not gonna talk about the overall plot, I couldn't care less about it and I knew that going into the movie. its the stunts and the overall feel of that movie that piss me off. I watch mi movies because I wanna have a good time and watch tom cruise do cool stuff and thats not what I got out of this movie.
im starting with the cliff jump stunt cause I was just thinking about it. the buildup was Ass with a capital A. they cut away from ethan riding up the mountain too many times and for too long at a time. I was comparing it to the scene when ethans chasing walker in fallout because to me that was cut perfectly. Cutting from ethan to benji and sometimes walker for a few seconds so I knew where ethan was and where he was trying to get to but I still felt the build up, I knew he was gonna catch walker but I was still thinking "omg is he gonna make it?". and the cuts to benji and luthor worked well because they were still a part of what was going on and the map on benjis ipad helped visualize what was going on. in mi7 when Ethans riding up the mountain the cuts between him and benji where really good but I hate that they kept cutting back to the train. They could've easily had more obstacles for ethan on the way up the mountain if they needed! its a long ride but showing the mountain and a few shots of Ethan at different parts would've been good enough, we could've had Benji asking him "are you there yet?" like every minute so we get that a lot of time is passing but not enough that the tension stops building and a funny little joke between the two of them. I understand why it cuts back to grace/alanna on the train during that time but those are two very different things going on that are building tension in very different ways. call me crazy but ethan jumping off a cliff is different than grace dressed as someone she's not sitting down to talk to someone. it was just really hard to get invested in either of the two things going on. then the actual jumping off the cliff was such a letdown, I did not feel a fucking thing when he jumps off then it cuts away immediately after like that wasn't The Stunt of the movie?? you dont put a stunt like that on posters and post a 20 minute behind the scenes video about it for it to feel like that and show basically none of it!! show ethan flying through the sky!! show him landing on the train!!! I thought he was gonna land on the train but no that gets taken away in favour of a fucking joke when he crashes through the window. yes mi movies are supposed to be funny im fine with that I love that but come on!! let tom cruise land on the train!!! he can still slip and fall on top of the train but let that old man get his enrichment time!!
now for the train. Im sorry but it looked horrendous, the cgi was Not Good and I can't get past it. with other movies I try my best to not care but this is Mission Impossible. I know they did crash a train I love that but all the cgi added in around it and when Ethan and Grace are climbing through the train looks So Bad. it takes away from everything going on because you know its not real. I get it yeah yeah they can't dangle actors from wires while a train is slipping off a cliff but theres gotta be some way to make it look better. like I said about the bike stunt there was no tension there to me and I felt so disconnected from the movie and the characters, I like putting myself in situations and its hard when im like hm thats not real.
the fiat car chase. this was when I was like "fuck, I hate this movie", im sure we all know by now I am not a hayley atwell fan, so what sue me im allowed to not like people. I didn't like this car chase because it was mostly her driving. BABE THIS IS MISSION IMPOSSIBLE IM HERE TO SEE TOM CRUISE DRIVE NOT HER!!! if she was good then whatever but shes not for the bit. I feel like a lot of things that could've been really cool were pushed aside in favour of humour in this movie and I hate it. you can have both!! they literally did it in rogue nation and you're allowed to have callbacks in this movie so you can have a car chase like the one in rogue nation again!!! just let tom drive so it looks cool or even let hayley drive I dont care I just want it to look cool and have the humour stay inside the car. doing bits like this made the movie feel more generic and like they were trying to appeal to, dare I say, mcu fans. i like mission impossible because they get the ratio of humour to action perfect every time, and they're always so good at timing it too but in this movie especially during this chase it did not work for me and I didn't even find it funny if im being honest.
obviously I also have to talk about ilsa and im gonna shit on mcqs writing so apologies. there are two ways to look at this, one shes dead and two shes not dead, both are bad writing IN MY OPINION. if she is dead that was an awful way to send off such a loved character, she was hardly in the movie. im all for more women in movies but she definitely could've replaced grace and I think it would've given her and ethan a much better dynamic. ilsa barely has any lines??? I wouldn't even call her a side character in this movie like my friend didn't even know her name thats how insignificant she was. the sword fight was cool as fuck, rebecca slayed, but she really should've won that fight? maybe if she was outnumbered id be like okay thats a little more likely but it just feels really out of character for me. now if she DIDNT die then im also pissed because fake killing a character twice in the same movie is a little much for me, if it happened at the start of the movie and the end of the movie then okay I can deal with it but she died twice in like the first part of the movie? im sorry to say it but im sure most casual viewers forgot about her by the end of the movie and if they go back for part two and she comes back it's not gonna mean a whole lot to them. and ethans reaction to her death didn't sit right with me, this guy was a theatre kid he can at least somewhat act sad when the girl he loves fake dies and he should be allowed to, for like 5 minutes at least, I know theres a lot of stuff going on but he loved her!! let him cry a little!! and if we're supposed to believe shes dead then ethan not reacting is not helping.
one last thing I wanna add and I know im probably the only one who feels this because I know most people liked the movie, but when you make a part one and part two that release at different times you want people to like part one. it needs to be able to stand well on its own so people want to watch part two and are excited for it. am I gonna watch part two? probably yeah I wanna see that plane stunt but im not excited for it and I really feel like im just gonna be let down in the same ways again. I dont want to go see a movie for the stunts when I know I hated the stunts in the first part and I didn't come out of it caring about the plot or the characters (other than benji <3) so what am I going for? i have no reason to see that movie or be excited for it
I would also like to add I know this is not the movie tom and mcq wanted to put out since the original cut was like what 4 hours? and the movie was extremely over budget because of covid but I can still be mad about the finished product
#I dont wanna bring john wick into this but seeing john wick 4 and then this was like a punch in the face#I was so excited for john wick 4 and it exceeded my expectations by a landslide#so naturally I was like 'oh we're so back I can't wait to see another action movie this year'#and then it was the worst movie ive seen this year#im not putting mi tags on this lmao#calkaleasks
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few3h special chapters
glowing symbol on sword not a known crest. artificial?
2 of them. so this is epimenides i assume. the "race" they talk of at the brink of extinction, are those the agarthans? they discovered how to body hop and i assume this is how epimenides ended up in shez's body. but why do they look all dragon-y? my guess is human dragon experimentation on themself to gain power. why send the 3 leaders to zaharas tho?
is epimenides implying that all of the people of the surface are descendants of the goddess/dragons? like we know that isn't true (probably) since the saints talk of passing blood to humans. and nemesis was just a random bandit
epimenides should know what has been going on since he continually gets new bodies. he hasn't been locked in zaharas the entire time i think...?
or maybe they are stuck but projecting their conscious into another body???
idk
i always wondered what degree of apocalypse happened to the planet. was it like nuclear wasteland?
yeh my alien dragon tinfoil hat conspiracy is going strong. did i ever post that one?
yeah so epimenidies has been awake and aware the past 1000+ years he should know what's been going on
yeah this my brain is going into overdrive over this. the little hamsters in my brain are running on their little wheels like crazy. what does this mean?????is it just because of the crest blood/crests??
hnnnnnnng brain hurt
yup more mildly suicidal dimitri
these are all statments epimenides thinks will unnerve the gang and here he thinks claude is struggling to hold back. i wonder if they are implying claude is considering backstabbing dimitri and edelgard
lovely counterpoint to claude's b+ support
well at least she's aware of her trust issues
enlightened one was a class with a mix of swords and faith magic. asura seems to be a mix of swords and dark magic
hmm for arval and epimenides were sharing a form. still don't know what's up with that. but i have to watch that another 2 times so i'll save this for next round.
i wonder why shez could then manifest powers if they came from epimenides originally. did they absorb epimenides' power? i assume they cut their way out like byleth did
anyways yeah i read the clues right. agarthan artifical god to counter sothis.
arval's name in jp in larva which fits narratively and visually. mmm a larval state of epimenides? they are an artificial being made from epimenides' experiments into soul transferring.
ooooh epimenides wasn't awake this whole time, he was dormant? inside of arval. lol shez woke him up
???: It has been a long, long battle. My race wavers at the brink of extinction. And so it falls upon me to reclaim this world, that what was stolen from my people might be theirs once more.
Arval: Which is why I was born.
???: Yes. I created you. The cycle of the world... The rehousing of souls... How desperately I sought this secret art! But it demanded precision. One defect-one essence wrongly transplanted-would lead to consequences more irreparable. I knew I must oversee the process myself in order to save my beloved people.
Arval: When my consciousness first initialized, I was nothing. I remember the sound of water... Of bubbles... The sound of a massive object slowly lurching along... I thought the noise would continue for eternity. But then...a change. Something gave way. The water began rushing rapidly. Pale shadows closed in around me. Amidst deafening sounds, I walked desperately in search of light.
???: That was an unforeseen accident. I was sure all had been lost to the waters. It was fortunate I had created you, for you proved useful in a way I never expected.
Arval: I am to become you. That's why I'm here. That's why I've been compelled to remove every obstacle in your way. Only by destroying the abomination inside the Ashen Demon can we bring salvation to the world.
???: Then you understand. Then return that body you two share to me. It pains me to do this to you, but alas, all was written from the beginning.
watching this again and this is the most we get on arval and epimenides' relation. arval is like a backup clone? and looking at the opening cutscene the agarthan group epimenides was leader takes a direct hit from the rhea beam, his body might have been destroyed so his conscious was rediected into arval? still not sure about this one or how arval got from shambhala to zaharas. but arval is in zaharas and they share a body with epimenides.
it is possible to get out shez presumably uses epimenides/arval's power to return so epimenides should be able to get out himself. so if he needs shez' body i assume he has none of his own.
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Sakusa and Ushijima bringing their kids to practice Headcanons !
requested by anon: Um hi idk if you write for them so you can totally ignore this . Um can I ask for sakusa and ushijima (or one of them it's up to you) bringing their kids to practice bc the reader was called into work ??? Like Sakusa with his little boy and ushijima with his son and daughter. Sorry you can ignore this
a/n: ignore this?? absolutely not LMAO i love this idea. tsym for requesting anon! hopefully, headcanons are okay for this! also sorry that ushijima’s is a little shorter-- i wasn’t quite sure what else to write <3
warnings: manga spoilers
SAKUSA KIYOOMI
This dude was like 👁👄👁 when you called him only half an hour into practice to ask
They were on a water break after doing a bunch of drills and his phone lit up with your contact picture
Atsumu: Aw Omi Omi, that’s a cute picture of you two~
Kiyoomi: I will literally end you ❤️
Anyways he grabs his phone and stalks off to get away from the team since he knew they would eavesdrop if he stayed that close
The second he answered the phone, you started rambling and like begging for forgiveness so he was just “???”
Y/N: Yoomi! I swear I’ll make dinner for the next week and-- and I’ll uhhh... buy all of the groceries and cleaning supplies for a while and-- and
Kiyoomi: tf are you going on about?
Y/N: Is it okay if I drop Hi-chan off with you? ... I got called into work and the nanny’s busy...
He goes silent for a second, which makes you start to freak out because you were out of options for who to call
Your parents were on a cruise which both you and Kiyoomi got them for their 30th anniversary so they won’t home and your siblings lived on the other side of the country
Kiyoomi’s parents were too busy and so was his older siblings
So
He was your final resort
After a few seconds he just kind of laughs quietly and sighs
Kiyoomi: yeah, you can bring Hito-kun here
Y/N: your hand in marriage pls ❤️
Kiyoomi: ...
He justs SIGHS and hangs up cause he’s tired of your bullshit ❤️
He’ll pocket his phone and go up to the coach and Meian to ask if it’s okay if his kid sits in during practice and they’re perfectly fine with that
LMAO Atsumu, Bo, and Hinata eavesdropping and being like “tiny Sakusa??????”
Fifteen minutes later, you pop into the gym with Hitoshi (not the bnha character LMAO) and Hinata and Bokuto both go “TINY OMI-KUN!!!!”
Oh my god when I tell you Sakusa almost had an aneurysm when they started to run towards you and his son, i mean it
he literally went from one side of the gym to in front of you two with the most disgusted look on his face
Hito’s pretty similar to Sakusa as in like... he hates germs so when he saw those two sweaty adults running towards him he just
Hito: due to personal reasons, i will be passing away now ❤️
Bo and Hinata are trying to get near Hito, but Sakusa just completely blocks them
Y/N: thank you for taking care of Hi-chan, Yoomi :(
Kiyoomi: I had nothing against taking care of him in the first place, idiot
Anyways, you realize the time and literally sprint out of there to get to work
Bokuto: Mini Omi-kun! HI!!!
Hito: 👁👄👁 you’re so sweaty pls don’t touch me sir ❤️
Bo goes :(( but recovers when Hito apologizes after seeing how sad he got
Cause even tho Sakusa wouldn’t apologize, Hito was also raised by you and he’s a kid so he just kind of gets all flustered
Hito pats his shoulder to try and comfort him and Bo goes “!!” and like picks up the poor boy
At first, Hito is TERRIFIED but after a few seconds, he starts giggling and enjoying himself
Sakusa was about to kill him but then he saw his little son all happy and his heart clenched
After a few minutes of fooling around with Hito, they start practice again since they can’t spend the whole day just fooling around with the little Sakusa lol
The whole time while they’re doing drills (or smth idk how professional volleyball practice is LMAO), Hito’s standing next to Coach Foster and his eyes are so bright and big
He’s super excited to see his dad play because he hadn’t gone to that many games (Sakusa said that there were too many germs and that he’d get sick)
So to see his dad going like “BLAM” with the ball was like “!!”
They do a game of 2v2 and he’s cheering so loud for his dad it’s so cute
Hinata and Atsumu are on a team together and they’re sitting on the sidelines with Hito until they get to play
Hito getting super excited and energetic when he sees his dad playing volleyball so he asks them about the players :(((
Stop I can just imagine a tiny sakusa with more energy just being so cute
Practice finally ends for the day and Sakusa walks out of the locker room and Hito’s like “DAD!!!!!!!” and runs towards him
Sakusa’s soft for his son so he chuckles and picks him up
Hito: you were so cool!!!! You went like BLAM and BOOM!!
Sakusa, internally: oh god, i gave birth to another Hinata...
USHIJIMA WAKATOSHI
SO in this one you’re on a business trip for work and like.. the nanny cancelled on him the morning of so he was like “well, shit”
But like not really cause he’d probably be nonchalant about it
His daughter, Riko is 3 and his son, Eiji is only a few months old so he comes into practice with a baby carrier and Hoshiumi’s like
>:0 !!!!!!!!
Hoshiumi: BABY USHIJIMA >:0 !!!!!
Riko’s super energetic unlike her father or her brother so she’s running around the second she walks into the gym and Ushijimas like 👁👄👁 cause he’s not quite sure if he should scold her or not
Honestly, Ushijima would be so confused with kids cause he’s just...
head full only volleyball
Normally you’re around and or the nanny so he’s not sure what to do LMAO
Riko’s unusually energetic and he’s pretty sure she got it from you lol
Romero sees Ushijima’s look of pure conflict and almost loses a lung from how hard he laughed
Ushijima may be super smart when it came to volleyball but it seems children is the next obstacle
Riko and Hoshiumi somehow bond in hardly any time and suddenly Riko’s on his shoulders and they’re running around
chaotic duo, we stan
Kageyama’s looking at the children with utter confusion
Omg Kageyama and Ushijima would both definitely be so confused with children
smh these volleyball idiots
Eventually, they actually have to start practice so Riko and baby Eiji were by the benches
Lmao Riko running onto court because she wants to play volleyball with her dad and Ushijima having a stroke
He’s bowing so low to the coaches because he just... doesn’t know what to do
it was hard enough to get them out of bed today
It’s okay with everyone and Hoshiumi literally tries to pass the ball to Riko and Romero SCREAMS in fear
Romero’s definitely the savior of the day when it comes to the kids
Ushijima carries Riko off the court and the tiny bab was like >:0 !! When he sat her back down with Eiji
Riko: DAD >:0 !!!
Ushijima just asks her to stay on the bench but he doesn’t want to scold her
She listens to him because she sees how conflicted he looks finally
Lmao she tries to pass a ball to Eiji and Ushijima’s like “oh, oh god.”
Talking about Eiji, he starts crying and the coach just SIGHS and gives them a ten minute break
Ushijima losing ten years of his life as he tries to calm Eiji down
Hoshiumi: !! he wants to play volleyball too !!
Romero: Hoshiumi, no... please...
Ushijima eventually calms the crying baby down and feeds him a bottle
Eiji ends up falling asleep after that tho so there’s no more issues with him for the rest of practice ❤️
It would be interesting to see Ushijima with his kids lolol
ANYWAYS
practice ends and Riko’s like “DAD!!! Teach me how to play volleyball now!!!” even though he’s already began
She’s a bit forgetful ❤️
Romero literally starts giving Ushijima tips and everything because he sees how confused he is
All of the other players listening as well because they’re interested
Professor Romero!
Ushijima heads home with his two kids and he’s just listening to Riko ramble a lot and he’s happy
He was scared she wouldn’t like to be there and would throw a fit but similar to her father, she’s super excited about volleyball
You call them on the way home and Riko’s like “MOM !! I WANNA PLAY VOLLEYBALL !!”
You start giggling and you listen to her ramble for a while before asking her to give the phone to her dad
Ushijima: please never go on a business trip again ❤️
Y/N: aww, you miss me Waka-kun~
He hangs up
#ushijima x reader#ushijima wakatoshi#ushijima wakatoshi x reader#ushijima#hq ushijima#sakusa kiyoomi x reader#hq sakusa#sakusa kiyoomi#sakusa x reader#sakusa#hq x reader#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu imagine#haikyuu fanfic#haikyuu headcanons#ushijima headcanons#ushijima imagine#ushijima wakatoshi imagine#sakusa kiyoomi imagine#sakusa imagine#sakusa headcanons
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Azur and Asmar and the power of language
WARNINGS: This will contain spoilers, and while this isn't a plot twist movie, if you wish to go see it blind first, do not read this.
Azur et Asmar (in english: Azur and Asmar: the Princes' quest) is an animation movie from 2006 made by Michel Ocelot, a french moviemaker mostly known for his paper-puppetry inspired style and his focus on tales & mythologie.
The story is that of the two titular character: Azur the son of a french nobleman, and Asmar the son of Azur's nursemaid Jenane, a woman from Morroco. The two grow up together, are separated by Azur's father when he want to remove the influence of Jenane from his son's life.
But Azure still believe the tales Jenane told him, and go to Morroco to both fullfill his childhood dream and see the country of his surrogate mother. There, he'll meet Crapoux, an opportunistic beggar who badmouth everyone around him, and find back Jenane & Asmar. Where Jenane accept him and is glad to see him again, Asmar blame him for his father's behavior. Both receive help to achieve the same goal: free a Djinn princess they've dreamed about since kids, and as their quest advance, they get progressively closer together again, and win a happily ever after together thanks to their brotherly love (and the support of all their mentors, even Crapoux, who was kinda a terrible influence)
This movie is nice on it's own, and it's a good tale for kids in general, as it teach to experience the world by yourself instead of through other says, to not believe superstitions, to experience with all five of your senses and not just sight, etc...
But where the movie shine really is in what I think is it's core theme: The power of language. And I'm not taking a random guess on this one, Ocelot rejected any publisher who wanted to remove the billingual aspect of the movie, considering it "crippled" his production. The original dialogues are in French and Arabic, and even on the DvD there are no subtitles for the Arabic part, to really nail down that it's about language! (Some streaming sites do put the subtitles on the arabic parts tho)
The whole deal with language start early. While Azur's father always clearly disliked Jenane, it's really when his son start to speak back at him in arabic, a language he doesn't understand, This already display the main idea of this theme: if peoples can't understand you, you have power over them. Azur's father fear that his son can speak ill of him without him knowing, he fear his son's power.
As my grandparents called it (since they spoke Brezhoneg and I didn't), Azur "Can sell his father"
Latter on, this power is put on full display by Crapoux: as a beggar, he is a at the bottom of the social ladder, surviving of the Zakat and peoples' generosity. And feeling vulnerable & dependent of others, he tries to ease his ego by badmouthing peoples, critisizing everything he see in this country, all safe under the idea that peoples don't understand him.
He's a display of a bad way to use this power: only to harm, to drag down and fuel your ego.
There are many others examples of good languages, altho I'll keep the best for last. but before that, I can mention how it's how Adult Asmar initially reject Azur by speaking only in Arabic even when his own mother is speaking to him in French, as a way to reject his pass with Azure.
There's also the Princess Chamsous Sabah (not the Djinn princesse), and how it's mentionned (and insisted) that an important part of her education by her mentor Yadoa is in linguistic (French, Latin, Greek, Hebrew)
There's also how the trick to "win over" the beasts guarding the path to the Djinn princesse is to use magic to speak to them, as you can't hope to traverse these obstacles without communication. (the two animals bellow)
But the best of the best display of this theme is also one of the most emotionally charged.
Late in the movie, Asmar is made prisoner by slavers, and while captured guide Azur in his escape, speaking to him in French for the first time in a long time, and acknowledging he care a whole lot for his brother. The scene start by this exchange that is about Asmar accepting the language of Azur, and thus accepting Azur.
Azur: "Tu parle ma langue" (You speak my language)
Asmar: "Evidement,C'est aussi la mienne" (Of course, It's also mine!)
In this movie, everything is about language, except language, which is about relationship! /s
Anyway, as the scenes continue, and Asmar guide Azure away from the ambush, the slavers threaten him, and Asmar's retainer tell him to stop to avoid being killed. To what Asmar answer, in french :
"Vous êtes vites devenus des escalves!" ("You've been quick to become slaves!")
All with a very "vitriol heavy intonation", Which make this sentence the single best display of "using the power of language (and knowing more than someone else) against someone".
Here, unlike when Crapoux use another language to conceal his spite, Asmar use another language to REINFORCE his disgust at his companions. Them not understanding what he exactly say only make the general meaning much more clear.
ANYWAY, Being older I now understand much better why there weren't subtitles, and I fully agree with Ocelot that removing the bilingual aspect of the movie is crippling it of one of it's most interesting meaning and theme.
Seeing this aspect in Azur et Asmar, I wonder if there are similar pearls in the other works of Michel Ocelot, so I might look back into Kirikou at some point.
#Language#Azur et Asmar#Michel Ocelot#azur and asmar: the princes' quest#azur et asmar#French stuff#french media#media analysis
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Meant to be (G.D.)
Summary: There is a reason why the road not travelled seems more appealing, why the past might trick us into believing if we had made different choices, or just done one thing differently, that our lives would be better for it. There is a reason they say ‘Careful what you wish for’ and Grayson is about to find out exactly what it means to have all his dreams come true. Question is, what’s the cost?
Warnings: swearing, mentions of alcohol, sexual innuendoes, angst, fluff
Word count: 21k
===========================
Regrets are a weight on the heart and a curse on the mind. They bring out the past over and over again, always tormenting its victims with what ifs and promises of a better life. But it always comes at a cost, it always asks for a sacrifice. It drags its victim away from the beauty of their life, forcing them to wonder...
What if…
It's only two words, six letters, but they can change a person. ‘What if’ is a reminder of all the mistakes, of all the roads not taken and while they may not be as good as reality, one would always ponder on the possibility of something more.
What if...
What if..
What if?
For Grayson, his ‘what if’ had always been a little down the road, back when he was just a teenager and his choices were far simpler. Life was simpler, happier.
Becoming a YouTuber didn't entirely fulfill the dreams he once had. It gave him money, women, fame, but it took away his peace of mind and a quiet suburban life with the love of his life.
At least he found the love of his life. Or so he hopes.
He's been wrong too many times before to dare say the L word now, but being with Ella feels right. Almost right. He'll never get his perfect life even if she is the one and it has nothing to do with her but the choices he's made before they ever met.
Too often would Grayson watch her sleep and question if he should feel guilty about his ‘what if’. Would she judge him for the inner workings of his mind? Would she feel like their relationship is a lie? Like she isn’t enough?
"Whatcha thinkin' about?" Her raspy voice brings a smile on his face and the thoughts aren't as loud as they were before. No one could ever quiet Grayson’s mind like Ella can. It’s as easy as breathing for her, a single look sent his way and Grayson couldn’t focus on anything other than Ella.
"Some past choices." Grayson never lied to Ella. When they met, she demanded he be honest with her, always.
Reluctant, Grayson shared his earnest opinions and in time, he realized Ella is right; honesty is the best policy. It helped their relationship develop on a solid foundation, allowing them to grow together. For once, Grayson didn’t want to date every girl with a heartbeat, his attention focused elsewhere - on Ella.
"Like what?" She tilts her head up, her chin resting on his chest and her brown eyes meet his, a look he always cherished. Ella was always quiescent, a snowflake that he protected with his life.
She had the kind of eyes that made a man weak in the knees and while she was bitter about the mundane color, Grayson never saw a more beautiful shade. There was nothing mundane about her.
"Like the time Ethan and I thought we'd go to that private school on a sports’ scholarship." Sighing, Grayson runs his fingers down her back, playing with the strap of her bra. It's black and lacy, the kind she'd wear to seduce him and yet she's not trying. Ella could sense Grayson needs intimacy, conversation, not sex. She knew him so well, read him like an open book.
"If you did that, you'd probably never be a YouTuber. You wouldn't have the money, the fame, the experiences you have now." Biting her lip, she pauses before speaking timidly, "You wouldn't have the people you have now."
Swallowing thickly, Grayson noticed the sudden change in her demeanor, the flicker of hurt in those earthy hues enough to make him realize she's thinking of the possibility of them not meeting.
“You really think you can get rid of me that easily?” He pursed his lips, eyes narrowing ever so slightly as her expression dulled.
Grayson wasn’t sure if he believed it, but Ella did and he had to remind her, to make her smile so he wouldn’t feel like he’s drowning in the unshed tears forming in her eyes.
“You always say that people who are meant to be", Grayson starts and she rolls her eyes playfully, a small smile appearing on her lips.
"Will find their way in the end, I know." Groaning, she rolls on her back, her head resting on her pillow.
Raising an eyebrow, Grayson moves to his side, towering over her with a lopsided grin. "Should I be upset you just chose your pillow over my chest?"
"Should I be upset you're thinking of a life without me?" She challenges, her left eye narrowing ever so slightly as she stares at him. It's as if she's daring him to move, to take these thoughts out of her head. After so many obstacles they’ve managed to overcome, she couldn’t help the hurt his admission caused. She never once thought about anything other than a life with him.
"I don't think of a life without you, Ella", Grayson's smile falls, his voice deeper, "I believe we would have met either way. You're everything", lowering his head on her chest, his hand rests on her stomach, "We are meant to be."
Fingers treading through his hair, Ella sighs, "I think you're wrong. To be meant for someone means more than just meeting each other. It's the circumstances, it's the experiences that have shaped your preferences and character."
"I'd still fall for your pretty eyes and crazy laugh", Grayson argues, his eyes focusing on the birthmark between her breasts, yet another thing she hated and he loved about her. That would never change.
"I'm not sure I'd go for a jock tho", she states and his head snaps up to meet her gaze only to notice her lips twitching in an attempt to suppress a laugh. Just as she sees the questioning gaze, Ella bursts into laughter, coercing Grayson to do the same. He loved her witchy like cackle she calls a laugh, it's impossible not to laugh when he hears it.
And so, with a laugh filled night, Grayson settles beside Ella as he drifts off. Her words run through his head, wondering if it's true.
Would they still be together if he hadn't moved to Los Angeles to be an influencer?
As his consciousness fades, Grayson mutters under his breath, completely unaware that his life would forever be changed.
"I wish Ethan and I got the scholarship."
There’s a reason they say be careful what you wish for and Grayson was about to learn the hard way.
--------
"Ugh", Grayson moans, feeling like death. His head hurts, his muscles are aching as if he had run a marathon and his mouth is dry.
"Ella?" He calls out, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he rolls on his back, "Babe, I think I'm sick."
"You're not sick, you're hungover", Ethan chuckles and Grayson's eyes open wide.
"Fuck you talking about?" He squints and raises an eyebrow, noticing Ethan in a bed just a few feet away. His lips part, eyebrows furrowing as a faded scar between them becomes prominent.
"You drank a shit ton." Ethan reminds him, throwing a shirt his way.
Shaking his head, Grayson realizes it isn't a shirt, not when his last name is on the back of it right above a number.
"This isn't funny, E", Grayson breathes out, eyes fixed on the jersey in his hands. "Where is Ella?"
Sitting up, Ethan shrugs, "That the girl you were messing around with last night?"
Closing his eyes, Grayson feels his heart sink. "Messing around?"
He wouldn't hurt Ella that way, would he?
"Since when do you even remember their names? What happened to hit it and quit it?" Ethan asks, standing up to grab his phone and Grayson scoffs.
"Now I know you're fucking with me, I'm a one woman man now. You know I'm with Ella. You can end the prank here because I really feel off." Grayson grimaced with the shooting pulsating pain in his head intensifying, wincing as he rubbed his temples to soothe the pain.
Ethan steps closer, concerned for his brother who is looking around the room with confusion. "Did you hit your head or something?"
"I dunno, maybe." Rubbing his forehead, Grayson sighs, "I have a major headache and I need Ella, okay? Where is she?" Standing abruptly, Grayson frightens Ethan into a backward stumble. "Ella?!"
"Fuck, I knew coach should have sent you to the doc!" Ethan runs his fingers through his hair, genuinely scared for Grayson.
Growling in frustration, Grayson reaches for Ethan, his fingers gripping the thin fabric of his shirt as he forcefully pulls him closer, "Cut the shit, where is she?! Huh?!"
Raising his arms in mock surrender, Ethan shakes his head, "I swear I don't know what you're talking about!" Eyes wide, Ethan pushes Grayson. It's not as forceful in fear of hurting him but enough to get the message across. "You never even mentioned an Ella before."
Releasing Ethan, Grayson stumbles back to the bed. Sitting down, a heavy sigh passes his lips as his eyes fall to his feet. His bare feet. "What the", pausing Grayson blinks fast, "Where's my Tame tattoo?!"
"Tattoo? You better not have a fucking tattoo!", Ethan rubs his chin, trying to understand what is happening. "I'M CALLING THE DOCTOR!" Rushing out of the room, Ethan slams the door behind him.
Lips quivering, Grayson takes his shirt off only to find his chest, his arms are void of tattoos. "No, no, no." Pulling his sweats down, he finds his legs just as bare, no ink he had invested years in. "No, NO, NO!"
Scrambling to the bathroom, he stops in front of a mirror only to find his hair is shorter, dark circles around his eyes are prominent and his lips chapped. Flashing his teeth, he finds no tooth gems, "Those cost a fortune!"
"Bro, we gotta get you to a hospital!" Ethan mumbles, running around to find something to wear while Grayson pales. His hands are shaky, his entire body trembling and he can't help but wonder if Ella was just a fever dream he had.
Or this is?
In what world does he still share a bedroom with Ethan? The tattoos, the gems, the jewelry! He didn't even have a hole for an earring!
And Ella? His sweet brown-eyed Ella with the heart of gold? What of her? If there's one thing he's sure of is that he isn't creative enough to dream up someone as perfect as her.
"C'mon, they'll do a CT as soon as we get in." Ethan waves him over, only then noticing Grayson is in his briefs. "Seriously?!"
Groaning, Ethan grabs him by the forearm and pulls him along, throwing clothes in his face.
"I know you're freaking out or whatever but we need to hurry! It's been a day since you took that nasty fall and I know you said you were okay but THIS IS NOT FUCKING OKAY!" Rambling, Ethan stopped. Taking a few deep breaths, he turns to Grayson with tears brimming his eyes. "You’re my brother and I can't lose you."
Nodding, Grayson presses his lips together. He'd argue, ask him if this is some elaborate prank again but it doesn't feel like one. It feels real and that is what scares him. So, reluctantly, Grayson does as Ethan says and he puts on the clothes, following him to the door.
He wasn't sure what to expect, but Grayson finds himself with raised eyebrows and a concerned look on his face once he sees the state of the house they're in. There are people lying around, red cups and beer bottles everywhere and he could have sworn he saw a few used condoms on the floor as well.
"Where the fuck are we?" Grayson whispers and Ethan pales.
"The frat house. We've lived here for three years Grayson!"
Running his fingers through his hair, Grayson has to suppress a groan as he realizes just how short it is. He's used to his floppy hair, it relieved his anxiety to run his hands through his hair and Ella loved to tug on his hair too. She never said anything about the length, so maybe it’s the feeling of her tugging his hair while he goes down on her is for his own pleasure, but he likes to believe she enjoyed it too.
"You said I hurt my head?" Grayson tries, hoping to understand.
"Yeah, during football practice yesterday. Ryan tackled you because you fucked his girlfriend."
Inhaling, Grayson's eyes widen, "The fuck?"
So far, Grayson understood one thing: that he understands nothing.
-------
“All the scans came back clear. What kind of symptoms are you experiencing?”
Grayson glances at Ethan, his mind torn. If he admits to what seems to be a crazy theory about him waking up in some hell dimension, the doctor might put him in the psych ward and throw away the key, but if he doesn’t and all the memories of his life and…Ella’s love are just a symptom of his fall, then he might deter the doctor from a proper diagnosis.
But as Grayson swallows thickly, he shakes his head. Even if everything was a lie, a symptom, is who Ethan says he is truly who he’d want to be?
From what Grayson gathered, he is a womanizer with no respect for women or their feelings, he’s an egomaniac and very likely has an STD by now. He sounds like a guy with commitment issues and a nasty personality considering he’s been sleeping with his friend’s girlfriend.
“Just a headache.”
Ethan’s jaw slacks, his eyes narrowing at Grayson, “Are you sure?” He’s speaking from a confused, angered place and Grayson can tell Ethan is about to blow his cover.
“I’m sure.” Grayson speaks through gritted teeth, his nostrils flared as he gives Ethan a pointed look. “I’m perfectly fine, just had a wild night and a nasty fall. I’ll take a few pills and be fine by Monday.”
“Alright. I’ll clear you to play next week, but keep the head safer next time.”
A tight lipped smile on Grayson’s face did nothing to alleviate Ethan’s anger. He had brought his brother in for good reason and he just lied to the doctor’s face. Truth be told, Ethan is worried Grayson is having a psychotic break. Instead of ratting him out, Ethan decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and a single day to reassess the situation again.
Once in the car, Ethan turns to Grayson with raised eyebrows. “Wanna tell me what the fuck that was about?”
Shrugging, Grayson swipes his thumb across his bottom lip, wincing as he does. “Do I have a busted lip too?”
“Cut the crap, Gray, what the fuck is happening?” Ethan fixes his eyes on Grayson, refusing to start the car before getting a concrete answer to his many questions. “You’re acting like a totally different person. It’s like you’re an alien possessing my brother’s body and I don’t know who the fuck this Ella is but if she did some magic voodoo thing to you, we got a witch to burn!”
Gasping for a breath, Ethan stops but his eyes narrow as Grayson cackles at him and his rant.
“THIS IS NOT FUNNY, GRAYSON!”
A hand over his chest, Grayson leans back. Attempting to stifle his laugh, he nods, “I know! I know”. Sniffling, Grayson lets out a long sigh before looking to his brother. “If I tell you, you’d think I’m crazy and I’m not! I swear I’m not!”
Licking his lips, Ethan leans back in his seat. Gnawing on his bottom lip, Ethan can’t help the curiosity bubbling up to the surface. Whatever it is, it can’t be that crazy, can it?
“If I promise to listen to you, will you tell me?”
Raising an eyebrow in surprise, Grayson shrugs, “Only if you stop freaking out too.”
“FINE”, Ethan exclaims just as Grayson finishes his sentence, willing to hear his side of the story.
“I think I’m in an alternative universe. Like something got fucked and I’m now in an alternative universe because where I come from we aren’t frat boys with a drinking problem.”
Clearing his throat, Ethan motions with his hand for Grayson to elaborate.
“We moved to Los Angeles in our freshman year of high school and did YouTube and we got famous and rich and I had the most beautiful girlfriend. I was with her and then I woke up here.”
Tapping his fingers on his knee, Grayson looks out of the window, biting his lower lip. “She, uh…She means a lot to me.”
“Okay.” Ethan states, starting the engine.
“Okay?” Grayson furrows his eyebrows, lips parted.
“Yeah, okay. I believe you.” Ethan drew his lower lip between his lips, tapping his hands on the wheel.
Leaning forward, Grayson’s frown deepens, “Just like that?”
“Look, I don’t know Ethan from your universe, but I’m a believer in alternative universes and I do think you’re not exactly my brother. He’s just…different.” Glancing at Grayson, Ethan sighs, “You two are very different."
“Alright, so you want him back, right? You’re gonna help me?” Grayson’s excitement is palpable, enough for Ethan to roll his eyes.
“No, I’ll leave him in an alternative universe with millions at his disposal while I deal with you”, Ethan states, the sarcastic undertones unmistakable. Grayson can’t help but snort, smiling to himself. Even in an alternative universe, Ethan is a sarcastic conspiracy theorist.
“Any idea where we could start, genius?” Ethan snaps his fingers, irritated with Grayson’s tendency to get lost in his thoughts.
Grayson’s face blanks, “No clue.”
“How about that Ella you keep mentioning? She your girlfriend?” Ethan doesn’t need to ask twice as he glances at the shit eating grin on Grayson’s face upon the mere mention of her name. “You say you care about her. Are you sure you’re not in love?”
Grayson licks his lips, “I don’t know. How does anyone really know?”
“I think it’s pretty obvious when you fall in love. If you can’t answer that, you might have never truly loved anyone.” Ethan’s words hit home.
While it sounds callous, it’s also true – did Grayson ever really loved any of the girls he was with? They all seemed like the right one at some point. He told them he loves them, but did he really? In the end, they were all forgotten in a week or two, but Ella? He refused to tell her he loves her even when he thought he did. The word had become cheap, she deserved better ones.
Is that love? Wanting to find better words to express your feelings? Words that are more than what most throw around like ‘Hello’? Words worthy of the way the mere thought of them brings a smile upon one’s face or their voice makes one’s heart race?
“Have you ever loved someone?” Grayson asks, curious of his brother’s life. Even if he’s not his Ethan, he is Ethan.
“Once. It didn’t last, but I did love her.”
Figuring Ethan isn’t quite ready to talk more on the subject, Grayson decides to drop it. He shouldn’t upset him just for his selfish gain. “I think this happened because I wished to know what would have happened if we never went to Los Angeles and took the scholarships at that private school we were interested in.”
He wished for his old dreams to come true, and they did. But at what cost?
“You wished for this?!” Ethan raises his voice, letting a little of his frustration out.
“I didn’t know it would actually happen!” Grayson defends, pressing his lips together once he realizes raising his voice isn’t going to do him any favors. “I’m guessing we took those scholarships in this universe?
“Yeah. We got into college on football scholarships but we play lacrosse too.” Ethan tells him, “Wrestling didn’t pan out as we wanted.”
“I met Ella in LA, so that’s probably why she’s not here.” Grayson rubs his temples, closing his eyes shut.
“So? Look her up. If she’s not a dream, she’s gonna be on social media.” Ethan suggests.
Gnawing on the inside of his cheek, Grayson nods. His eyebrows furrow as he opens up Instagram on his phone. Typing in her username comes up blank. Typing in her name comes out blank.
"Why can't I find her?!" Frustrated, he hits the dash and Ethan huffs, not happy with the way Grayson is treating the car. It may be a flaming pile of shit, but it gets them from point A to point B.
"You're saying you dreamed up a girl you think is real?" Ethan’s not convinced Ella exists. If anything, he’s still a little weirded out with the idea of Grayson not really being his Grayson. He’s trying to believe it all, to trust him on his word and to trust his instincts screaming at him, but it’s hard. It’s really hard.
"She is real!" Grayson exclaims, half panicked as he’s beginning to doubt himself as well. What if Ella found someone else? If he wasn’t there that day they met, who was?
Glancing at a frustrated Grayson, Ethan feels pity. He may not be his Grayson, but he’s still his brother. In a way. "Google her then."
"If her Instagram account doesn't exist, why would anything exist then? Huh?" What Grayson truly worries about is, what if something happened to her? Maybe she did exist at some point but doesn’t anymore?
"Maybe because it’s Google? Google knows all. If she’s not on there, she was a dream bro." Ethan reasons, parking the car. He turns to Grayson, watching him. Grayson’s pensive, filled with a thousand emotions he cannot put into words and Ethan understands him. He does.
"Wait...She only got Instagram to follow me! She admitted that!" Grayson exclaims, a little too excited while Ethan remains unimpressed.
"Bro, I love you, but you sound douchier than usual." And that says a lot since he’s been dealing with his douche of a brother. His Grayson is the definition of a douchebag.
"No, no, she really told me that. So...she wouldn't be in LA either because she said we inspired her to move to follow her dream which would mean she’s back home!"
Raising his eyebrows, Ethan’s eyes widened, "We inspired her?"
"Yeah, she said if two snotty teenagers could move to LA and make it just by filming videos of themselves she could surely get her book deal." Grayson says it with a smile, feeling nostalgic.
Ethan snorts, "She sounds supportive."
"She really is though." And with that, Ethan notes how Grayson’s voice is warmer when he speaks of Ella. That’s definitely not his brother. His Grayson doesn’t soften up when he speaks about girls unless it’s about Gizmo, their pet bird.
"She’d never tell anyone about the book, but I know she’s been writing it since she was 16 and she actually sold it!" Grayson is also proud of her, boasting about it as if it’s his own success. Ethan can’t help but smile.
"So look for her with that info, you do know where she is from, right?"
"Michigan." The word barely passes his lips as Ethan punches his shoulder, "Owh, what the hell E?!"
"We are in fucking Michigan!" Throwing his arms in the air, Ethan shakes his head. The pent up craziness of the day is starting to drive him up the wall and he can’t even be sure what’s real and what’s not anymore. ”We’re literally Michigan Wolverines!”
"Seriously?! She might be in the same school then!" Clapping his hands, Grayson opens the car door. He jumps out, wildly looking around the parking lot, hoping he’d see her black hair swaying with the wind.
"You're giving me a headache, I hope she's nicer than you." Ethan mumbles, leaning his forearms on the roof of the car, his car door still open.
"You two have been iffy a bit, but you loved her E.”, Grayson turns to him, grinning, “You said it yourself, you love her like a sister but if she touches your vegan rolls again you'd burn the house to the ground."
Lips parting, Ethan’s nose crinkles, "Vegan? She can have them all, why would I fight her on that?!"
Drawing a deep breath, Grayson pinched the bridge of his nose, "Please don't tell me we aren't vegan."
"We are jocks, Grayson, chicken is our religion." Ethan reminds him as he closes the car door, locking it. Walking around the car, he chuckles at Grayson who grumbles about it.
"Just great."
Running a hand through his hair, Ethan averts his eyes to the ground. The pavement is still wet, a reminder of the stormy night from before. "Do I have anyone in your world?"
Grayson smirks, "An Australian model."
"WHAT?!" Ethan steps in front of Grayson, stopping him.
"Yeah, my reaction too when she decided to date you." Grayson chuckles, amused with the shocked, slightly jealous expression on Ethan’s face.
"Bro, I want an Australian model!"
Laughing wholeheartedly at the whining, Grayson shrugs, "You have her. Well, the other you does."
Throwing his hands up in the air, for the second time in the past ten minutes, Ethan walks ahead, “Fuck this shit.”
Smiling fondly at his brother’s back, Grayson sighs, “At least I know you’re extra here too.”
“What?!” Ethan glances at him over his shoulder and Grayson shakes his head, “NOTHING!”
--
As days passed, Grayson realized one thing: time has its own flow and in that its own beauty, for no man can command it to halt, it can only pass with unique divinity. It’s only been a few nights since he woke up in this strange universe and while days were easy to survive as he spent them on the field and Monday brought classes, nights were much less forgiving.
He misses her – his Ella.
Time, just as love, is unchangeable – it is there at the end as it was at the start and Grayson doesn’t know how to accept that he might never see Ella again.
He finds himself scribbling her name instead of class notes on his first day of college, attempting to draw her – but the shade of brown in her eyes is never quite right. No matter how hard he tries, nothing he draws will ever come close to the warmth and understanding her eyes and smile held. No one can ever replace the comforting relief that would wash over him whenever she would squeeze his hand or run her fingers through his hair.
Simply, no one can compare to Ella. No one, possibly not even the alternative universe her…if she exists.
Sighing, Grayson leans back on the tree he sat under. He closes the textbook with her name written a dozen times to give himself reprieve. Being there without her is torment, a special kind of hell Grayson never dreamed he’d be stuck in.
Ethan has helped him adjust as much as possible, but it seems as if he can never truly fit into this life.
This Grayson is a douchebag, whoring his way through campus with a bottle of tequila in hand and no one bats an eye as long as he scores the winning touchdown. His grades are an average C, but it took him less than a single day to find out it’s because the professors are giving him special treatment. He’s not exactly a model student and plenty of his classmates were surprised he even attended lectures today.
Closing his eyes, he tries to ignore the words in his head reminding him this is karma. He has done enough to get himself rejected from his own timeline and universe.
Truth be told, he’s ashamed. He wasn’t much better before meeting Ella, either. He’d whore his way through Los Angeles, the difference being non-disclosure agreements he had the girls sign. He might have been sober, but he was drunk on adrenaline of fame that he had given into different obsessions. He became paranoid, mistrustful, hateful and treated his friends as if they owed him something for being a part of his life.
When Ella came around, he changed. It took a while, but Grayson thought he was finally worthy of her.
Now? Grayson finally understands what she meant when she told him she might not like him as a jock. He didn’t like himself as a jock.
“Hey, six-pack?!”
Grayson’s eyes open wide, his breath caught in his throat as he recognizes that voice. Only one person he knows has that kind of a voice – a raspy voice that is the base of all his happy memories.
And there she is, Ella – his Ella. Her long black hair is shorter in this universe, falling to her shoulders in waves. Her eyes are just as beautiful as he remembers them to be, like melted honey on a warm sunny day. Her lips are curled into a small smile, gentle yet cautious.
“Ella?” He breathes out, his hands beginning to shake and she can tell.
Ella raises an eyebrow, confused as to why would the cockiest man she ever met feel so nervous to see her. He seems to be shocked, maybe even relieved – a contradictory Grayson never was. Not to her knowledge. She always saw him as a one dimensional being – an asshole without a cause.
“Wanted to bring this back to you”, she reaches into her backpack – a flower themed green backpack she had when they first met.
Back then, she was but a stranger with a very pissed off look on her face when he slammed into her on the beach as he attempted to catch a ball Ethan sent flying way above his head. He remembers her yelling at him as if it were yesterday, but he also remembers her laughing when he asked for her number when she was done with yelling, breathless. He bought her an ice cream and apologized and ever since then, Grayson never looked at another.
Ella tosses a jersey in his face and Grayson quickly stands up, holding the jersey in his hands.
“Wait, how do you have this?” He looks at the number – 33 – his number.
Raising both eyebrows, Ella’s eyes widened for a split second, “Wow, you were really drunk off your ass that night, weren’t you?” Leaning in, she steps on her tiptoes as Grayson holds his breath, “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone that Grayson Dolan actually did something decent for a change.”
She turns on her heel, taking a few steps further before Grayson’s senses return to him. “Ella, wait!”
“And he remembers my name? I’m impressed!” She giggles, not even turning around as she heard his heavy footsteps just behind her. “Though I don’t remember telling you my name.” That’s when she stops, hands on her hips as she looks at Grayson who looks like he’s lost. “How do you know my name?”
“How do you have my jersey? I asked first”, Grayson reminds her with a lopsided grin and she purses her lips to stop a smile from spreading. While Ella might not be Grayson’s biggest fan, she’s not blind – he’s extremely good looking.
“The other night at the party mean anything to you?” She raises an eyebrow, waiting for Grayson to respond but he just shrugs, a red tint slowly coloring her cheeks. It’s not something he’s used to as Ella was always tan from the LA sun, but she’s much paler than usual.
“Some asshole pushed me in the pool and my shirt got wet and it was very see through. I panicked and ran and stumbled upon you and for some reason you weren’t an asshole about it and lent me the jersey without even trying to stare at my boobs.” Licking her lips, Ella narrows her eyes at Grayson, “Which was very weird, are you alright? Nobody's body snatched you?”
Chuckling, Grayson shakes his head, eyes fixed on Ella. He can’t look away, not even if he tried. “I’m trying to be better.”
“You? Better?” Biting her lower lip, Ella steps closer, “I really wanna believe that”, her raspy voice is like stardust to Grayson.
He loves hearing her talk, words are her finishing touch to the emotions she usually suppresses but only ever shared with him. It took forever for her to open up to him, but even then it wasn’t as often. So yes, Grayson wished he could tell her how much he would like to listen to her talk. It doesn’t matter what’s it about – something, nothing, he just wants her to talk to him.
Taking her hand, Grayson hears her gasp. He places her palm on his chest, right above his heart. “Please do. I need you to believe in me.” His lips are parted, his eyes clinging to her like a dying man clings to his last breath and she’s looking back at him, her hand is touching him and she’s not fighting the touch.
Until she breaks out in laughter, “That’s a good line! Do you use that on all your little flings?”
Stepping away from him, she bites her lower lip, almost disappointed. “Don’t spend your best lines on me, Quarterback, I’m not easily swayed and my heart is taken by someone else.”
Sobering words splash into Grayson’s senses as if they were icy water. “Someone else?”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m gonna leave you before someone spreads unflattering rumors about us.” Turning away, Ella takes three more steps before glancing at Grayson over her shoulder. She doesn’t know why she did it, but something inside her told her to look back, to stay – even if it’s for a moment.
“Thank you for the jersey, Grayson. I’ll remember that.”
And as Grayson stood there, watching Ella leave, he reminded himself that everything he wants is on the other side of determination and consistency. He would show her he’s redeemable and he would win her over. It doesn’t matter what universe he’s in, there is never a time he won’t want her – her light, her kindness, her approval.
Even if everything's made to be broken, Grayson needs her to believe in him. He needs her to know who he is.
--
“Sometimes I wonder why I’m with you”, Ella huffs. Arms crossed she rolls her eyes at Grayson before laughing, “Your decoration skills need serious improvement!”
“Ah, you got me worried for a moment”, Grayson reaches out for her. Grabbing her by the arm, he pulls her into his lap.
Chuckling, she wraps her arms around his neck, “Why?”
Licking his lips, Grayson looks down, “Because I wonder why you’re with me.”
“For the same reason you’re with me”, she explains and he furrows his eyebrows as his lips form a tight line. The reason he’s with her is because his soul never felt more at home than when she would wrap her arms around him.
“Boobies?” Grayson teases, earning himself an eye roll.
Cupping his left boob, Ella exclaims, “Yes! Yours are almost as big as mine!”
“Idiot!” Grayson grumbles under his breath. Looking back at it, he knew it was a perfect chance to tell her what she means to him and how grateful he is for her presence but he didn’t. He made it into a joke to hide just how much he needs her and she didn’t deserve that. She deserved a man who could speak his mind and share his emotions, not a coward he turned out to be.
“Awee, you’re not an idiot”, Ethan mocks, “Especially not if you help a brother out.”
“I’m not telling you her name, Ethan.” Grayson turns to his other side, determined to salvage what’s left of the night. He couldn’t sleep, not after knowing his Ella hates him. But is she his? How can she be his when she loves someone else? How can she be his when this Ella hadn’t ever been in his arms? Even if she was, she would be the other Grayson’s Ella. Manwhore Grayson’s Ella. Frat boy, jock’s Ella.
It leaves him with a bad taste in his mouth. The idea of her with someone else, even another version of himself isn’t easy to stomach.
“But she’s my girlfriend!” Ethan exclaims, throwing a sock at Grayson’s head. A smelly sock.
Covering his nose, Grayson tosses the sock back, “Not in this world she isn’t.”
Flipping Grayson off, Ethan groans. “She could be, ya know? She could be my girlfriend!”
Rolling his eyes, Grayson turns to his back, “Chasing someone else’s love story isn’t exactly something I’d recommend to you.”
“Wouldn’t the other me want to be with his girl in every universe?” Ethan challenges and Grayson raises his eyebrows, “You’re trying to find your girl in this universe, why don’t I get the same courtesy?”
Pressing his lips in a hard line, sadness clouded Grayson’s features, “Kristina Alice.”
Gasping, Ethan’s phone lights up as he searches her name only to sit up once he sees her photo, “SHUT THE FUCK UP, SHE’S MINE?!”
“YuPP”, Grayson closes his eyes, “Good luck getting her to accept your request.”
“Thanks”, Ethan smiles as he hits the follow button on her Instagram page, desperately hoping she would soon accept his request and he could send her a message. Maybe he has a shot after all.
“Just shut up and let me sleep.” Grayson covers his head with a pillow, turning to the other side where it’s colder.
“What if”, Ethan begins as Grayson groans loudly. Those two words are the last ones he wants to hear. Ever.
“I need to sleep!”
“Sure, but hear me out”, Ethan springs from his bed and sits on Grayson’s, “What if you being here means my brother, real brother, is also in a different universe?”
Uncovering his face, Grayson’s eyes widen as he sits up with a thundering heart, “Like in my universe?”
“Dunno, but I don’t think he would just disappear. The whole laws of physics wouldn’t allow for that to happen. If energies cannot be created or destroyed, perhaps souls can’t either. Maybe he’s in your body or in another universe and that universes’ Grayson is in your body? Maybe all the Grayson’s have switched places?”
Hand on his heart, Grayson could feel the cold sweat forming at the back of his neck, “I’m gonna be sick.”
“You think it’s possible?” Ethan raises his right eyebrow, genuinely curious.
“If it is, some other guy is with my Ella right now and he could be fucking up my life as we speak.”
“Well, depending on the definition of ‘your life’, he could be fucking your life right now.” Ethan’s insinuation didn’t help Grayson fall asleep that night.
If it’s true, another version of him might be holding Ella tightly against him as she unravels under him. Another Grayson, possibly even the manwhore Grayson he’s occupying could be both abusing the privilege of being intimate with Ella and breaking her heart by being intimate with other women in front of her.
Laying awake, staring at the ceiling, Grayson met dawn as an old friend. Dawn signified a new start, a day full of activities that would busy his mind with anything but some look alike hurting the lov…His Ella. Besides, he was looking forward to the day as he planned on seeing this Ella as well. He can’t deny the pull, the gravitational change he feels when he’s close to her. She may not be his Ella in every sense of the word, but she is Ella and she is the light in this darkness.
Morning practice went by fast, allowing him to exercise some of his demons, but it isn’t enough. In the back of his mind is an image, one that is enough to enrage him – an image of his lookalike in bed with his unsuspecting Ella.
Inhaling, he closes his eyes as he settles under the same tree he sat at yesterday. Holding his breath, he waits for the burning sensation of his lungs as they scream for oxygen. Reluctant, he releases the pent up air in a slow exhale.
“Since when is this your hangout place?”
Eyes snapping open, Grayson’s lips part with the familiar raspiness in the voice. “Ella?”
“Still my name”, she smiles before sitting in front of him, book in her hand.
“Sorry”, he breathes out, attempting to smile but he didn’t know if he should smirk or grin and ended up grimacing more than smiling.
“Don’t be. It’s not like the tree has my name on it”, she shrugs as she opens up her book and he frowns, confused.
“What do you mean?”
Pointing to the tree, “It’s my spot. Has been since freshman year and suddenly you’re here.”
Making an ‘O’ shaped face, Grayson’s heart skips a beat. He didn’t even know why he sat under this particular tree, but it was calming him. It felt cozy, safe, a place to gather his thoughts. Upon further evaluation, this tree wasn’t entirely different from other trees, but he chose the same one two days in a row and he had a sneaky suspicion Ella is the reason why he was drawn to it.
If there is no magic in the world, how is he in this universe? If there is no magic in the world, how did he meet her again? If there is no magic in the world, why would he sit under this tree?
Smiling, Grayson realizes – magic exists. Maybe it’s not in the obvious witchy way, but it’s real. Ella made him see that.
“I’m sorry if I was ever a jerk to you.” Gnawing at the inside of his bottom lip, Grayson noticed her surprise when he spoke up, more so with what he said.
“Save your apologies, Quarterback. You weren’t a jerk to me.” Forcing a small smile, she clarifies, “You weren’t anything to me.” Tucking her hair behind her ear, she feels her heartbeat quicken as his eyes remain on her. She could see the genuine emotions swirling in his hazel eyes and it caught her off guard. It’s as if he actually means it.
“Look, you’ve been pretty shitty to a lot of people and you’re worshipped regardless. But if you want to be better, you have to take baby steps. It’s never easy to change once you’ve left people with a certain idea of who you are.” Licking her lips, she sinks her front teeth into her bottom lip.
Averting her gaze to the book in hand, she tries to hide how his unrelenting gaze is making her nervous. It’s an effort to stop herself from tapping her fingers on the book or to stop herself from running away to take a proper breath she can’t seem to take ever since she decided to sit there. Somehow, Grayson causes a panic in her, not one associated by fear. It’s more about the implications of his longing stares and uncharacteristically kind words.
“Can I start with you?” Grayson leans closer, minding the way she blinks faster as he does as if his proximity is making it harder for her to ignore the need to stay close.
“Why me? What’s so important about me?” Her question catches him off guard and it reminds him of his Ella and the insecurities she always tried to hide. Maybe they’re not so different after all.
“Because I think highly of you.”
Scoffing, she looks away but Grayson can’t ignore the blush spreading across her cheeks. “You don’t even know me.”
“I’m an observant person. I know more than you think and I’m not asking for you to be my friend but maybe a tutor? You could help my grades and my stupid mouth when it goes off?”
Narrowing her eyes at him, Ella’s confusion is stronger than before. No matter what she heard of Grayson, he didn’t seem as bad as people made him seem. He’s trouble, she’s sure of that, but he’s also lost. A part of her wants to help him find what he’s looking for, to help him…fix him, but if she does, she knows she might find herself in dangerous territory.
Grayson Dolan seems like a guy one would easily fall for, but he also seems like the guy who’d break her heart. Can he even break a heart that’s not his to begin with?
“Tutoring sounds fine.” She speaks, finally breaking the silence and Grayson’s lips stretch into a wide smile on instinct. “But only tutoring and it’s not for free. I expect you to do something for me too.”
“Anything!”
Drawing a deep breath, she wonders if this is wise. It could backfire in the worst possible way, but she can’t help herself. She has a unique chance to do something she always wanted, “I need you to be my fake boyfriend for a month.”
Inhaling sharply, Grayson exhales, “Huh?”
Rolling her eyes, she leans closer, “I want to make a guy jealous and who better to do that than the Quarterback.”
Grayson’s heart sinks with her words but he finds himself nodding. It might be the worst thing to agree to but it would put him in her orbit and it would give her a chance to see who he truly is. She might fall for him in the end.
“Alright. Let’s do this.”
--
“So you’re just gonna fake date your girlfriend?” Ethan cocks an eyebrow, a little confused and uncertain of the benefits this deal could possibly bring his brother.
Shrugging, Grayson runs his fingers through his hair, attempting to put in the effort to make himself look somewhat presentable. “Yeah. It’s not much, but I’m willing to go through with worse if it means I get to hold her hand at the end of the day.”
“What if her plan works and she actually gets with the person you’re supposed to make jealous?” Raising both eyebrows, Ethan flicks Grayson’s ear, “You’ll be worse off than before.”
“It won’t happen!” Grayson exclaims, trying to not murder Ethan. “Fake dating trope always ends with the two realizing their feelings and marrying each other.”
Smiling at his reflection in the mirror, he nods to himself. It’s the first time in a long time he gave much thought about what he should wear or what his hair looks like but it’s for a good reason. He has to impress Ella.
“We’re soulmates, E. I know it.”
Huffing, Ethan rolls his eyes, “Chances of that being an actual thing is slim, but let's face the facts. Even if you’re soulmates, you two aren’t necessarily meant to be in every single universe. No one can have their happy ending in every universe. Maybe consider this universe is the one where you don’t get the girl.”
Hands on his hips, Grayson turns to Ethan with a stiff upper lip, “Is this really about me and Ella or about the fact Kristina didn’t accept your follow request?”
Rubbing his forehead, Ethan groans, “Maybe, but it’s a possibility?! I don’t want you to end up with a broken heart if this doesn’t work out. Just…Don’t forget this isn’t your life, okay? What happens when real Grayson comes back and he’s suddenly in a relationship? He’d break Ella’s heart.”
“What if he never returns and I’m stuck here forever? I can’t and will not give up on Ella. Manwhore Grayson needs to man up and I’m preparing the turf in case he returns to this life.”
“Manwhore Grayson?!” Ethan chuckles, “That’s actually who he is. Cameron calls him that!” Wheezing, Ethan throws himself on the bed, hugging a pillow.
Grayson watches, stifling a laugh, “Bro, I wanna smack him so bad!!”
“Get in line! At least half the female population wanna smack his face and the other wants to smack his ass!”
Pursing his lips, Grayson exhales through his nose, or he tries to. It’s been hell living in a body with sinus issues again and he envied whoever is in his body for the ability to breathe freely and without suffering after he had suffered all the pain of two surgeries and multiple rounds of antibiotics.
“Well, I’ll be going then. Don’t wanna keep my girl waiting.” With a lopsided grin, Grayson heads to the door when Ethan speaks up.
“Do you think this would classify as cheating? I mean, she’s Ella but she’s not really your Ella, right?”
Licking his lips, Grayson’s heart sinks. Ethan is right, this Ella might look like his Ella, have her soul, but her personality might be different. So far, Grayson noticed three differences: her ears are pierced though his Ella was terrified of the very idea of having them pierced, she doesn’t seem to wear the red lipstick he loved to smudge and she had black nail polish but his Ella prefers pastels.
Shaking his head, he remembers how it felt to imagine her with manwhore Grayson. It doesn’t feel right and his Ella would probably hate him for this, but something inside him is insisting he must see it through. “I’ll see you later.”
--
Holding his breath and waiting for inevitable doom. This is what Grayson feels like. It’s as if this entire universe is made to torture him. Sure, he wasn’t the best person alive in his universe, but he wasn’t evil either. A part of him couldn't shake the karma aspect of this switch – what did he do that was so bad to warrant a karmic intervention?
“Hey!” Ella’s usual raspy voice is a little higher, pitchy, enough to make Grayson smile. She’s nervous and he’s glad he’s the one that made her nervous. It means she cares, however small it may be.
“You look”, pausing, Grayson raises his eyebrows as his eyes trail down her body, “Incredible!” He lets out a breathless chuckle, watching her cheeks darken. She’s definitely nervous.
“So, uh, what do you need help with”, Ella licks her lips, tucking her hair behind her ear as her eyes fix on his hand. “Are those….flowers?” Raising an eyebrow, she stifles a smile as Grayson fidgets, scratching the back of his neck.
“Yeah…I wanted to do something nice.” Holding the flowers out, he watches her lips twitch as her attempt to keep a smile at bay slowly fails.
The corners of his lips turned up in a slight smile as his eyes dropped to the floor, a strangely demure gesture for him, Ella realized. As he looked back at her, moving his hair back with his hand, Ella was momentarily swayed by the dark brown eyes that sparkled up through long, dark lashes that she never noticed before. Perhaps she allowed herself to send a few glances his way in the past, trying to understand why so many girls ventured into his web, and she never quite understood until now.
The way he looks at her as if she’s the source of sunshine in his life, the way he smiles as if her presence sparks joy in his heart and the way he had held her hand over his beating heart had disarmed her and she hated herself for it.
She fell for his charms and silver tongue as many have before and she likes him. She does. It’s impossible not to like a man as magnificent as Grayson – no matter how messed up he is.
There will always be a girl willing to stay way too long in hopes of fixing him. He’s a death trap for every woman who looks into his eyes.
“Lilies?” Careful, she reaches for the flowers. Her fingers curl right above his, avoiding touch and the electrifying feelings it could bring to the surface. Ella preferred not to know.
“Your favorite”, Grayson blurts out, his mouth faster than his brain and his eyes widen as Ella’s eyes narrow at him.
“How would you know?”
Hands trembling, Grayson shrugs, “A lucky guess. You’re not a rose kind of a girl because you think roses are cliché.”
Eyebrows furrowing, Ella’s frown deepens, “That sounds more like an educated guess.”
“Am I wrong?” Grayson cocks an eyebrow, his confidence growing as she purses her lips, eyeing him as if she’s reconsidering her previous judgment of him.
“I hate the thorns too”, she states matter of factly, turning her back on him. Glancing over her shoulder, she raises an eyebrow, “Coming? Or am I supposed to take your exams for you, Quarterback?”
With a lopsided grin, Grayson follows after, relishing in her sassy attitude. She must know how it affects him, draws him in. If anyone could tell him to get over his shit and act like a normal human being, it was Ella. Of course, his Ella took a while to open up in a way where she didn’t mind her tongue. His Ella is shy until one gets under her skin, a little more insecure. This Ella is a firecracker from the start, brazen.
For a moment, he feels guilty for liking that about her. He feels guilty for liking this Ella, but it’s still his Ella, is it not? She’s just got a different life experience.
--
For the first time in his life, Grayson couldn’t stop staring. He was good at hiding his feelings, pushing down anything uncomfortable until he could ignore it, but he couldn’t do it. Not anymore. He sought her out even when she wasn’t close, he yearned for her shy smiles and annoyed eye rolls. He missed each time she’d glance his way and swiftly look away or the way she’d use her hands when she talks about something she’s passionate about. He wanted to see her hands when she’s talking about him, to be passionate about him – with him.
For the first time in his life, Grayson found himself chasing after a girl. She’s out of his league, he’s aware of it. She’s wife material and he isn’t sure he could settle down any time soon, but waiting too long might mean she’ll find someone who is ready for all the things he’d like to have with her. Because no matter how scary it seems to commit when he’s unsure if he’s able to love someone, losing the opportunity to find out seems scarier.
For the first time in his life he wanted to reach out and ask her to hold his hand, to look at him the same way she looks at puppies because he only ever saw her look at them with love. He wants to hear her laugh at his jokes and he wants her to call him out on the shit he does and hold him accountable. He wants her to make an effort because she thinks he deserves to be saved, that he can be fixed. Maybe he should fix himself before asking her to love him, but she makes it better. With her, he finds all he thought he lost before – the will to try and do better.
“Are you okay?” Her voice catches him off guard, her eyes gentle, softer than he thought they could be.
“You seem a million miles away”, she brushes over the part where he stared at her and he’s grateful. She could have called him a creep and walked away, but she didn’t. Instead, Ella reaches out, her hand resting atop of his and Grayson releases a heavy sigh, as if the weight of the world didn’t press on his chest anymore. It’s as if a single touch of her hand had made him whole.
“I feel better now.” Grayson musters a smile, “You make everything better.”
For the second time in his life, Grayson finds himself staring. Blinking seems so unnatural when his eyes are focused on such beauty as if a single moment lost would prove to be deadly. Not looking at her would make him crumble, blurt out the truth of who he is and how scared he is and how badly he needs her to hold him and say things will be alright. But she doesn’t.
For the second time in his life, Grayson found himself wishing for a girl to hold his hand, to tell him he’s worth saving. He wants her to smile and blush like she did when she brought his jersey back to him. He wants her to roll her pretty brown eyes and chuckle at him, but she doesn’t.
For the second time in his life, Grayson is wondering if he’s able to commit to anyone. Is he any better than the manwhore version of him from this alternative universe?
He’s sitting next to a woman and he craves her attention and approval as if he doesn’t have a woman who offers all that and more.
Does it really give him any reprieve if they’re the same soul cultivated in different universes?
Perhaps she’d think it’s cute she captured his attention even in a different setting? Would Ella feel hurt or betrayed if he admitted he likes this version of her, as well?
“Are you okay?” Ella’s raspy voice catches him off guard, not just the sound, but the choice of wording. It’s the orotund tone she uses too; a little uncomfortable, lacking the softness his Ella would use with him. “You’re kinda staring and zoning out and I’m trying to explain this in the easiest way possible.”
Licking his lips, he nods, more to himself than her as he realizes this Ella and his Ella are definitely not the same person. Perhaps they look alike, but his Ella was kinder in a sense. Maybe kinder isn’t the proper word, but empathic?
“Yeah, I’m fine. Just have a slight headache.” Pushing his hair back, he clears his throat, “So, uh, there’s a game this Friday.”
“Oh”, her eyebrows raised, Ella tilts her head slightly to the left, waiting for him to explain.
“Well, we’re dating, fake dating and girlfriends usually wear their boyfriend’s jersey’s on the day of the game”, swallowing thickly, Grayson draws in a quick breath. “Would you maybe wear mine?”
Furrowing her eyebrows for a moment, Ella’s face relaxed again as her eyes fell to Grayson’s shaky left hand. Reaching out, she takes his hand in hers. Her grip is firm, certain, no doubts as she gives it a squeeze.
“Yeah. It’s not like it’s my first time.” Letting out a breathless chuckle, she shrugs, “And we did agree. So, I’ll wear your jersey and you pass this exam tomorrow.”
“Deal.” Grayson smiles as she purses her lips, but his smile quickly falls as she lets go of his hand and turns to the notes. She held his hand, but it’s not nearly as long as he wished for her hand to linger.
“Oh, wow, it’s true.” Someone speaks from behind them and Grayson frowns, turning back only to see a blonde, tall guy with a smirk plastered on his face.
“Danny!” Ella exclaims, jumping to her feet and straight into this guy’s arms.
Grayson’s eyes narrow as he looks how low his hands rest on Ella’s back, more so as the guy’s green eyes pierce him. He’s sizing him up just as much as Grayson’s doing to him. So, Grayson stands – letting him have something to size up. They may be the same height, but Grayson’s muscular, much more than him.
“So you’re really dating the Quarterback? I thought it was a joke.” Danny chuckles, his arm around Ella as she shifts uncomfortably at his words.
“Why?” Grayson raises an eyebrow, “She’s a beautiful, witty, intelligent woman. Any man would be lucky to have her.”
Smiling, Ella looks to Danny who nods, “Yes, I wasn’t demeaning her by asking. I’m saying I’m shocked she’d stoop as low to date you.”
Escaping his embrace, Ella steps away, “What the fuck, Daniel?”
Rolling his eyes, Daniel clicks his tongue, “Oh, come on! He’s whored his way through campus, you’re probably the last one he didn’t bag. He’ll use you and cast you aside, Ells. Men like him can’t commit.”
Chuckling from frustration more than finding anything amusing, Grayson steps closer to Ella, wrapping his arm around her waist. “Sounds like you know the type, Derrick.”
“It’s Daniel”, he corrects Grayson, visibly annoyed.
“Sure it is, Dario.”
Nostrils flaring, eyes narrowing, Daniel clenches his fists. “You can’t seriously think Ella is stupid to fall for your tricks.”
“Ella is right here and she’s perfectly capable of making her own decisions”, Grayson remarks, stepping in front of her, “Imply she’s stupid again and I’ll knock you on your ass so fast you won’t know what hit you.”
“Gray”, that’s when he feels it – her arms wrapping around him, her hand over his heart. “Please calm down, please.” Her head rests on his back, her hold on him tightening.
Softening at the sound of her frightened voice, Grayson steps back. “You’re lucky I value her good opinion more than your jealous remarks, Dicky.”
“It’s Daniel!” Raising his voice, Daniel shakes his head. “Ella, come on. Let’s go watch that movie before I lose my temper.”
Lips parting, Grayson glances at Ella who is blinking fast, biting on her bottom lip anxiously. “I think I’m gonna stay.”
“Seriously?” Daniel frowns, his green eyes fixed on her.
“I think I need some time away from you to reevaluate our friendship.” Ella states, her voice shaky and Grayson feels her body begin to shake as well.
“What?” Pointing at Grayson, Daniel speaks, “This is his doing! He’s manipulating you!”
Shaking her head, Ella seems to be lost. After years of liking this guy, she’s only now wondering why. “No, he’s not. You’re the asshole here. Your behavior toward my boyfriend is telling me I need to step back and create some distance because if you’re incapable of trusting I can make my own choices, I can’t trust you either.”
“He’ll break your heart.” Daniel states and Ella lets out a breathless chuckle.
“Maybe. But it’s my heart to break.”
And that’s when Grayson felt his heart break a little too. When he looks at her, he sees her heart is already cracked from this altercation. Daniel had been the culprit, but he feels responsible.
Walking away, Daniel doesn’t spare the pair a second glance. Ella’s quiet, holding onto Grayson. He can see she’s struggling to hold her tears at bay, but she’s successful. “We should review this part once again.”
“You don’t have to be brave with me.” Grayson tries but she waves him off.
“I’m fine.”
She’s not, but she can’t talk about it. Breaking down in tears isn’t exactly what she wants around Grayson. She’s hurt, confused and angry, but none of those emotions will help her. She wanted to make Daniel jealous a little, make him see what he could have if he stopped friendzoning her, but she didn’t expect him to disrespect her or say hurtful things about Grayson, as true as they may be.
“I’m fine”, she repeats before letting out a shuddered breath. “So, how did you get this result?”
Knowing better than to push her further, Grayson swallows thickly and plays along, taking this time with her as a chance to help her clear her head. His Ella always worked herself to the bone when she didn’t want to think about something, maybe this Ella needed the same. If she’s anything like his Ella, she’ll open up when she’s ready and for now, Grayson has nothing but time.
--
“Hey”, Grayson comes up behind Ella, making her gasp.
Slapping a hand over her mouth to hold in a shrill scream, she turns around only to whack Grayson with her free hand. “Jerk!”
Raising his hands in mock surrender, Grayson’s mouth curved into a smile. “I wanted to hug my girl, not my fault she’s a scaredy cat!”
Rolling her eyes, she takes a step closer so he couldn’t miss her glare, “I prefer not to have Quarterbacks giving me heart attacks. A warning would have been nice!” Her voice is tremulous, her hands still shaky.
“I was gonna offer to walk you to your dorm”, Grayson’s smile falls as he realizes he truly did scare her which wasn’t his intention at all. He didn’t see her that day more than a few times in passing, so he got excited for a moment of her time finally seemed to be open for him to claim as his.
“Just don’t sneak up on me when the sun is going down, okay?” Ella crosses her arms over her chest as she looks left to right before her eyes set on Grayson who pales, realizing his mistake.
“Oh, shit”, he pinches the bridge of his nose, frustrated with himself. Who the fuck goes up to a girl in an empty street at dusk? Idiots like him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t think.”
Cracking a smile, she nods, “Yeah”, exhaling loudly, she points ahead, “I live about ten minutes that way.”
“You’re letting me walk with you?” Grayson’s eyes widen, a little too excited and Ella could tell.
“It’s getting dark and you’re kinda big and scary looking to potential killers.” Ella shrugs, “I don’t mind a bodyguard right now.”
The corners of his mouth turned up, licking his lips quickly before taking her hand in his. He noticed her tense up, but she didn’t fight his touch. Her hand felt sweaty, but he held on tightly as if it were his safety rope and letting go would mark him for death.
“Do you believe people can really change?” Grayson wonders out loud, hoping Ella would show some signs of changing her opinion on him. She let him hold her hand, isn’t that progress?
“I believe some people are beyond help.” Ella sighs, glancing up at Grayson whose face fell with her words, “But I don’t think you are. If anything, you feel like someone I’ve known my entire life and I know it’s insane but I feel like I trust you more than I should.”
His heart fluttered with her confession, acutely aware it means he has more of a chance than he originally thought.
“I feel the same way”, Grayson admits, “You’re like coming up for fresh air, like spring after a long winter.”
Beaming, she fanned herself with her free hand, “I - that was - uh, that was really poetic”, Ella stumbled over her words, unable to form a coherent sentence and she never realized how much Grayson affected her. She may have been attracted to him before, but she couldn’t pretend she didn’t like him now that she got a chance to see what’s behind his popularity façade.
“You make me feel poetic”, Grayson’s husky tone made her simper, looking away as heat rushed to her face.
“Wow, okay! A silver tongue charmer.” Ella stops, stepping in front of Grayson with a coy smile dancing along her lips. “We’re here.”
Pressing his lips together, Grayson looked at the walls of the building with slight frustration. He wished they had more time to talk, it finally felt like he made progress.
“If I say I wish we could spend more time together, would you hold it against me?” Ella raises her eyebrows expectantly, her defenses lowered.
“I could come in”, Grayson gave her a half smile, one she could bask in all night long if she would just ignore the little voice in her head reminding her how dangerous Grayson Dolan is to her heart.
“It would be a bad idea.” She lets go of his hand, licking her lips. “Maybe another time.”
Nodding, Grayson sniffled, his allergies making his nose runny. “I swear I’m not crying, I have allergies!”
Giggling, Ella smirks, “Sure. And here I thought you were having a hard time parting with me.”
His smile fading, Grayson’s face loses the usual lightheartedness, “I always have a hard time parting with you.”
Knitting her eyebrows, Ella’s lips part, “You’ve just met me five days ago.”
Shrugging, Grayson steps back, “Feels like a lifetime.” Nodding over to the front door of her dorm, he manages a small smile, “Go in, I’ll wait till you’re inside.”
Licking her lips, she exhales loudly. She takes a few steps away, her back turned on Grayson. Stopping, she glances over her shoulder at him - standing there with the sun setting behind him, a picture perfect man with his hands in his front pockets and she felt breathless as she took him in. Shaking her head, she rushed toward him. With her hands on his shoulders, she stood on her tiptoes until her lips pecked his cheek - fleetingly, feather light kind of a kiss that nearly stopped Grayson’s heart.
“I’ll see you soon”, she told him before she ran to the door. She stopped as her hand gripped the metal handle, looking back at him with a grin and Grayson knew he was in trouble - he liked this Ella, a little too much.
--
Grayson rarely felt as confident as he did when he was on the field. The screaming crowd always gave him enough of an ego boost to run on for a couple of weeks after. It’s been a long time since he was on the field, much too long not to be anxious about it, especially when he knew his teammates weren’t exactly friendly with him at the moment. Apparently if you sleep around with their girlfriends behind their backs, they might end up resenting you for it. Yet another thing he could thank manwhore Grayson for.
The game isn’t the only thing making him nervous. Ella wearing his jersey meant they would officially claim their fake dating trope and knowing she might not be entirely into the idea had left him wondering if he’s forcing it on her.
A part of him wanted to hold her hand and ignore the sinking feeling and insecurities, but another part of him lived to see her smile. Her smile had made all the difference in the world. Instead of responding to the constant wave of girls trying to flirt their way to his pants, he only cared for one smile, one pair of eyes, just one girl who could make him swoon.
“How do we do this?” Ella frowns, looking at the door. She’s nervous, he can tell. All the classic signs of his Ella are there – biting her lip, crossing her arms at her chest only to tap her fingers on her forearms, blinking fast. She needed reassurance, Grayson simply wished to provide her with it when he placed his arm around her shoulders and pulled her in.
“Oh”, she exclaims, caught off guard. “Didn’t realize we’d go for the half embrace, jersey on the special game kind of a walk, but sure.” With a tight lipped smile, Ella made the first step toward the door and Grayson followed.
Far too happy about the initial few gasps upon their entrance, Grayson grins. It’s official now, he’s staking his claim and taking charge and Ella is once again his. The girls whisper about as they walk past them, the guys spare no attempt to hide their wandering eyes from taking in the girl that made a guy like Grayson Dolan fold and commit.
“Don���t you two look lovely”, Ethan winks as he crosses their path, suppressing a smile as Grayson’s shit eating grin grows wider if that’s even possible.
“Your brother seems to be happy with our endeavor”, Ella notes. “Almost as if he knows the truth.”
“He does, but he’s also a sucker for romance. Says this is how most books start, but they never end this way.”
Raising an eyebrow, Ella cranes her neck to better look at her so-called boyfriend, “And do pray tell, how do they end?”
“A wedding.” Grayson chuckles, leading her to her first class of the day.
Stopping, Ella untangles herself from Grayson’s side almost instantly, leaving Grayson with a frown paired with a pout she found almost endearing
“Good thing we’re not in a book.”
Nodding, Grayson purses his lips, “I guess so. Wouldn’t be the worst thing though.”
Furrowing her eyebrows, Ella narrows her eyes ever so slightly. “What do you mean?”
A small smile plays on his lips, one that is near her as he leans in. His lips brush her earlobe and she holds her breath, her heartbeat skipping as he whispers, “There are worse things than having you as a wife.”
Swallowing thickly, Ella watched him step back with a cocky smile, praying her cheeks aren’t red. But they are. Her cheeks seem to know no other color but red when Grayson is close by.
“I’ll see you for the game, alright?” Grayson presses two fingers to his lips only to rest them back on hers, “Call me if you need me.”
And so, as he walked away, Ella remained rooted. For the first time in a long time, she fully understood what all those girls saw in this frat manwhore and it concerned her greatly to know he could disarm her so easily and she allowed it to happen. What upset her further is that she wished it had been his lips atop hers, not just his fingers.
As the day continued, such as they always do, Ella found herself thinking back to moments spent with Grayson and it only amplified her curiosity. The Grayson she heard of felt entirely like a fabrication at this point. This Grayson, dare she say – her – Grayson is much better than anyone gives him credit for.
In the time spent together, she had come to see him as a flawed human being, but one who is learning from his mistakes and rectifying them. It’s not impossible for her to truly care for him if he continues down that path. Perhaps in the near future, she wouldn’t care about the dashing Daniel she was so enamored by. Perhaps Grayson could be the one she desires after all.
There are worse fates than a wedding, she thought..
--
Grayson would like to say he didn’t miss Ella, but he’d be lying. No, he doesn’t mean this Ella, rather his Ella. He tells himself he needs to let go of her, of the softness in her raspy voice whenever she speaks to him or the flowery scents she’s obsessed with, but he cannot reconcile the possibility of never seeing her.
Could he truly fall for this Ella and accept his Ella is to be lost forever? Can he surrender and learn to live in his new life as if he had never known the tender kisses she’d leave on his jaw or the way she’d trail his tattoos every morning after making love. She’s the reason why he stopped calling it fucking or sex. Ella is why it became something more. How can anyone top that? Even if it’s another version of her, what if Grayson never moves on?
“You good?” Ethan smacks him on the back and Grayson’s breath leaves him. Eyes wide, he nods, inhaling sharply.
“How big is this game?” Grayson wets his lips, finally hearing the cheering from the stands as he comes closer to the tunnel. Ethan shrugs, swiping his thumb just under his bottom lip.
“Career defining. We have scouts watching us tonight.” Ethan frowns, “If you wanted to fuck up our lives, botching tonight would be a fucktastic way to do it.”
“Great”, Grayson releases a heavy sigh, “No pressure then.”
Rolling his eyes, Ethan places his hands on Grayson’s padded shoulders, “Look, you’re not bad. You’ve been busting your ass in practice and you’re in shape, so just remember the plays and we’ll be good.”
“I’m the fucking quarterback, E. Why didn’t you take over for the night?”
Narrowing his eyes ever so slightly, Ethan gives Grayson a pointed look, “Because I have faith in you.”
“Somehow that makes it worse”, Grayson shakes his head, lips pressing into a thin line.
“Ella’s watching. Impress the girl and scouts and you’ll be on top of the world.”
And with that, Grayson put his helmet on and rushed onto the field with the rest of the team. He didn’t know what would happen, but he knew he had to try. If he doesn’t try, what’s the point? Life is about trying, again and again. Maybe some things are far too broken to be fixed, but he can piece himself up into a man every version of Ella would be proud to call hers.
Taking his position, Grayson scanned the stands quickly. His eye caught the empty seat where Ella was supposed to be and his heart sunk. She didn’t come.
Drawing a deep breath, Grayson swallows thickly.
“She’s with the cheerleaders!” Ethan shouts and Grayson’s head whips around to the cheerleaders only to find Ella waving at him.
A grin forms on his face as he waves back, wishing nothing more than to hold her in his arms. He really needs her tonight and maybe he can’t love her like he should, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her at all. This Ella, his Ella, any Ella – this woman’s soul is meant for him as much as his is meant for her. Just because he’s not the Grayson who gave her the jersey she ended up bringing back to him, doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy being the Grayson she likes. And she likes him – Grayson can tell.
Once the game started, Grayson had realized one thing - football is the way his entire being sang - a kind of music played in a way only the players and fans could hear. It was as if it is his opera, a tale of emotions told in struggle for the chance of earned glory.
Nothing could lessen the adrenaline coursing through his veins – not the mud, not the pain of being tackled nor the way he swore he’d pass out from all the running and shouting. Each time he managed to bring that football over the line, Grayson looked to Ella who jumped in excitement as if she actually cared about the result.
Deep down, Ella did care. It meant a lot to Grayson, not just winning but his position and popularity all stemmed from his ability to run with a ball without getting a concussion from a tackle. Every time he was on the ground, Ella had to physically restrain herself from running to his side. It hurt her to hear his pained grunts and for a moment, she cursed the moment she decided to ask her roommate to get her down to the field with the cheerleaders. She cashed in a favor to be closer to Grayson, regardless of the result and somehow she ended up getting a closer view of each time he was viciously brought onto the ground.
By the end, Grayson scored the winning touchdown and the crowd went wild. There isn’t a soul in that stadium that could deny the game was one of the best they’ve seen and no one doubted Grayson Dolan is a quarterback meant for much more than college football.
She saw him take his helmet off, the sweat matting his hair onto his forehead. The smile upon his lips felt like the sun itself shone upon her, especially when his hazel eyes found hers.
Fighting off his teammates' attempt to pick him up and carry him, Grayson ran straight toward her.
Ella heard about it, read about it – that moment when time seems to stop and you’re caught in between heartbeats and your breath is caught in your throat. Her heart is only human, flawed and frail and it feels as if it would give up on fighting to keep up with her emotions that explode inside her as Grayson comes closer and closer until she finds his arms around her waist and her feet off the ground.
She’s above him, her hands wrapped around his neck, fingertips buried in the hair at the back of his head. Her forehead rests atop of his, her smile as wide as his and for a moment, she throws caution out with the wind. Grayson spins them around, a throaty chuckle escaping him and his sweat doesn’t bother her even as she feels him soak her clothes. She doesn’t care about the people watching or the flashing cameras and she could care less about what anyone thinks about how odd of a pair they seem to be.
In the moment, she realizes he had wrecked her plans. She wanted to use him to gain Daniel’s affection, but he’s surprised her once again and he’s her man - at least for the night. Ella had learned one important thing – Grayson is full of surprises and she wouldn’t mind discovering every inch of his complicated mind.
Without a warning, she leans down – stealing the few inches of distance between them. Her lips press against Grayson’s who freezes with the action. His facial features are heaven to Ella’s heart and soul, but she could be so happily mesmerized by those lips for all the days heaven grants her to come.
No longer stunned, Grayson’s dry lips join Ella’s in the public display of affection he certainly didn’t expect. In that moment of the kiss their chemistry becomes an ever-bright flame no one could deny, not even Ella.
And a sobering thought reminded her this might be just another kiss for Grayson. He may be handsome and charming, but there is a reason he’s also known as a manwhore and that thought makes her dread the future she could have with him. No matter how hard she tries, all she can see is heartbreak and he’d be fine – she would be the one to suffer, grieving for the living. He’s put roots in her heart and yet she can’t allow for them to grow.
Breaking the kiss, she draws a shuddered breath as her eyes remain closed for a moment longer. She just wants to remember it – the way he had made her feel like she’s whole, at home. It’s always going to be their first kiss, and if Ella had anything to do with it, it would be their last as well.
“Go”, she opens her eyes only to be met with his lopsided grin and a new kind of glow to his beautiful eyes. He looks blissful.
“Come with me”, his voice is hoarse, desperately holding onto her. But the moment’s passed, he can’t keep her a prisoner in his embrace forever. Grayson puts her down, his hands moving from her hips to her hands, barely holding on by their fingertips.
“You have a whole team waiting on you, a bunch of reporters and I know there are scouts who would love to talk to you. I’ll see you in the morning for our tutoring session if you don’t oversleep.” She chuckles, trying to hide how shaky she feels on the inside. Somehow, telling him to go felt deeper than that and she could see Grayson pick up on that too.
His forehead wrinkles, his eyebrows furrowing as he steps closer and she finds herself breathless. Wasn’t he close enough?
“You’re more important. Say the word and we can go anywhere you want.”
She could hear him clearly, feel the earnest tone of his voice in her bones. He seems to care about her but that promises nothing. Grayson is dangerous in the kind of way that would leave her desolate and wounded for years to come. Daniel is the safer option. The jealousy he displayed was enough to confirm her suspicions of him liking her back and she had to choose the lesser evil.
“Be by our tree in the morning and don’t leave me waiting too long, okay?” She smiles, trying to reassure him and yet his heart aches.
“I won’t drink. I’ll be there.” Grayson places a kiss on her forehead, a long lasting kind of a kiss that somehow felt more intimate than the one they shared minutes ago.
“Stay safe”, she steps back and as their hands part at the fingertips, Grayson swallows thickly. A part of him screamed at him to stay, but the other part could see Ella needed to be alone. He needed to respect her desire for space even if it hurts him.
--
Grayson honored his promise not to drink even a single drop of alcohol, despite peer pressure. He had decided that while Ella may have wanted to go home earlier, it didn’t mean he couldn’t come by and wish her a good night. Truth be told, he’d have traded the night for a moment with her, but he couldn’t destroy a life that isn’t his – not really.
He did manage to secure a few tryouts and summer program offers for himself, but when the talks were over, Grayson hit the showers and headed straight to Ella’s dorm room.
He had one simple thought in mind – he’d admit he likes her and take her reaction for what it is. She may care for him or she may not, regardless of the outcome Grayson refused to cower and hide his feelings.
Maybe that’s why it shattered him so when he had seen her lip-locked with someone else.
Lips parting, he felt himself sway as the gravity of the moment tore into him. She had taken his heart and she broke it apart, shredded the last bit of sanity he clung to. It feels like death, just the same as bereavement and in this quiet moment as he’s unable to avert his gaze it chokes the breath from his body and short circuits his mind. What was once whole is shattered; where once was peace now there is emptiness, echoes of a love he put his everything into.
Stumbling back, clutching his chest, Grayson walked back to his room. He can hardly remember how he got there, but he knew that he never missed his old life more.
Ella was right, she’d never fall in love with a jock. She’d never fall in love with him in this life.
While she was always in his head, even when he was scared to death to admit to it, Grayson seemed to be an afterthought in her head.
He’s no longer afraid to admit the one truth he never told anyone – Grayson Dolan is wholeheartedly in love with Marizella Coleman, hopelessly hers in every universe he finds himself in.
There isn’t anything left to cling to, yet he can’t help but whisper her name under his breath – over and over, Grayson repeats her name like a lullaby until he finally falls asleep.
--
“What exactly does this mean?” Ella traced a moon tattoo on Grayson’s chest, her interest piqued. It took five months for her and Grayson to get intimate, two more before she broke out of her shell and truly embraced that Grayson is hers.
When she first met him, Grayson was lost. His priorities were all over the place, his mental health at an all time low and his bed was occupied by a different girl each night.
It bothered her how careless he was with his mind and body, even more so by the fact that she wanted to give him her heart. But she bore witness to his ability to break hearts and she didn’t want to be another one in the line.
If she was honest with herself, Grayson didn’t even know she existed. Not until he nearly knocked her out on the beach while chasing a ball. She knew him before he ever knew her and that made her careful, paranoid in a sense. If all those beautiful women couldn’t make him stay, how would she, an average girl next door, ever keep his interest long enough for him to see that she’s perfect for him?
“Nothing, it’s just pretty.” Grayson murmurs, wishing he could just wrap her up in his arms and forget about the world for the day.
“You don’t get a tattoo because it’s pretty, Grayson”, Ella’s croaky morning voice forced his eyes open and a smile to form on his lips. He truly loves the sound of her voice more than the bird’s song.
“It’s my aesthetic”, Grayson’s cheeky smile makes her roll her eyes.
“Well then, I really shouldn’t show you the tattoo of my first boyfriend’s name then, should I?” She shrugged, turning away from Grayson who sat up quickly, his eyes wide and body rigid.
“I’D HAVE SEEN IT BY NOW”, Grayson exclaims, his voice penetratingly loud so much so Ella could hear Ethan grumble from his bedroom.
“It’s not easily noticeable”, Ella chuckles as Grayson’s jaw clicks, “But it’s my aesthetic, so it’s nothing. Maybe we can name our first born like that so it doesn’t go to waste”, she glances at Grayson with a coy look in her eyes, finding him heaving and ready to throw hands.
“Over my dead body”, Grayson growls, pulling her back to him as she yelps. Her laugh drowns out her scream as Grayson pins her down to the mattress beneath him, his hands firmly holding her by the wrists.
“Whatchu’ gonna do, big boy?” She teases him as he cocks an eyebrow, pursing his lips.
“I’ll make sure you scream my name so many times that no one ever comes to your mind again.”
--
Ella didn’t have any tattoos, but Grayson sure had fun finding out on his own. That was the first time she was no longer timid around him and he absolutely loved her teasing. Grayson didn’t enjoy remembering his Ella as much as he used to. Every memory brought him pain now that she was gone; that both of them were gone.
Avoiding Ella had become second nature and it wasn’t as difficult as he thought it would be.
Waking up earlier to get to practice first, leaving last had given him no time to ponder on his broken heart. He’d arrive last and leave first during classes, avoiding the tree he had met her by twice so far. She did text him, leave a few voice messages as well, but Grayson didn’t bother checking what they said.
Why torture himself further?
However, he forgot one simple fact about Ella that seems to be universal – she’s stubborn and that stubbornness had led to him finding her asleep with a book open on her chest right before his bedroom doors.
“Jesus”, he whispers under his breath, dragging his right hand across his face before resting his hands on his hips. Licking his lips, Grayson lets out a heavy sigh, unsure what to do. He can’t be around her anymore, not when he had a taste of happiness and lost it.
He held tightly to her because she’s Ella – because her soul speaks to his, because even in the darkest nights she would be his compass. But this Ella isn’t his Ella, she’s never going to be his Ella and he hoped he’d somehow convince himself she is.
Truth be told, he didn’t know what he was thinking when he got involved with her. She had no recollection of their time together in his universe, she had no obligation to care about him and his feelings. She barely knows him and what she knows is scarcely him and mostly the Grayson that belongs in this universe.
Reluctantly, Grayson taps her shoulder. She flinches, the book falling with a thud as her wide eyes fix on his figure and that’s when they narrow and set aflame.
“Where the hell have you been?!” She stands abruptly, pointing the tip of her index finger at his chest, “I’ve been trying to reach you for a week!” Poking his chest, her nostrils flare, “I thought you were lying dead in a ditch somewhere!”
Wrapping his hand around her index finger, Grayson encases her entire hand along with it. “I’m sorry, I needed time.”
“Time? Time for what?” She frowns, the horizontal line between her eyebrows forming.
“To make my peace with you and Kenny”, he sighs. He watches her face change from a frown to disbelief and when she rolls her eyes, he knows she’s annoyed with him.
“It’s Danny and he’s not my anything.” Placing her free hand on his cheek, she cocks her head to the left ever so slightly, “He’s not even a friend anymore. I don’t give a shit about him.”
“So why was he kissing you on game night?” Grayson counters, lips pressed in a thin line while hers part.
“Were you stalking me?”
Shaking his head, Grayson releases her hand while dragging the other one away from his face.
“No. I wanted to see you and I did. With him.” Clenching his jaw, Grayson felt a wave of jealousy wash over him and it didn’t help that Ella had chuckled dryly.
“He kissed me and I was shocked but I pushed him away. And I told him I’m taken.” Licking her lips, she averts her gaze to the thread hanging from his sleeve. “By you”, she continues, “I told him you’re the one and I went inside and went to sleep.”
“You chose me?” Grayson releases a shaky breath, unsure what to do. “You can’t choose me, Ella.”
Furrowing her eyebrows, she steps back, “Oh! You don’t like me?” She swallows thickly, folding her arms across her chest. In all the scenarios she had made up in her head, him not liking her back was never one of them. It mortified her how silly she must look to him.
“No, no, I do!” Grayson stops her before she spirals, cupping her cheeks gently, “I like you, if I’m being completely honest, but I’m not…” Closing his eyes, Grayson smiles in disbelief over what he’s about to say, “You’re gonna think I’m crazy, but I have to be honest.”
“You’re scaring me”, she says softly, her voice shaky.
“If I told you I’m Grayson from an alternative universe and that we’re a couple in that universe, would you believe me?”
Her breathing becomes softer, the pensive look melting into a smile as soft as the morning light. “Okay, that’s cute, but I don’t think it’s time for jokes.”
“You started writing a book when you were sixteen and you never told anyone.” Grayson states and she stumbles back, eyes wide. She had never spoken aloud of her book, never once. That book remains in a locked folder on her old laptop, not even she had laid her eyes on it in two years. She gave up on it completely.
“How?”
“You absolutely adore the ocean and believe you were a mermaid in a previous life.” Grayson continues as Ella pales.
“You’ve always hated coffee, but if you have to drink it you add half a cup of milk and four sugar cubes.”
Shaking her head, she runs her hands through her hair, unable to comprehend what Grayson is saying.
“You’ve always been terrified of the dark, so you sleep with a pink turtle nightlight you’ve had since you were ten. You have a beauty mark between your breasts you absolutely hate and are insecure about, but I find it sexy as hell.”
“HOW DO YOU KNOW ALL OF THAT?” Ella shouts in panic, her breathing labored.
“Because I know you. From a different universe, but it’s you. And I love you. With all my heart and I know this is crazy, but I woke up here and everything changed overnight.” Slumping to the ground, Grayson hides his face in his hands. “And I fucking miss her. I miss my Ella so, so much and I have never been worthy of her, but she loves me anyway and I’m here.”
A hand on his shoulder makes his heart skip a beat, bearing her weight as she uses him to slide to the ground next to him.
“What is she like?” Ella’s shaky hand slides down his arm, slipping into his hand. She’s quiet, defeated by the news, in shock if she’s entirely honest. It’s way too much all at once and she never thought it could be possible she’d like Grayson Dolan so much it hurt to imagine him with anyone, even if that someone is herself.
“She sold that book and is writing a second book while studying. And she’s kind, witty and shy but incredibly outgoing with people she’s comfortable with.” Grayson doesn’t even notice the smile on his face as he speaks of his Ella, but this Ella does. She’s jealous of her alternative self for having a guy like Grayson smile as he mentions her. She hates her other self for being brave enough to publish the book and live her dreams...well, old dreams. She’s not dreaming about being a writer anymore.
“I love her, but I was afraid to tell her that. I was afraid of fully committing myself to her.” Grayson admits, unsure what good it does him now.
“When did you wake up here?” She interrupts him, wanting to know what was him and what wasn’t. Has it always been this Grayson? Did she spend all this time falling in love with the wrong guy?
“Woke up with a killer headache after some frat party. Think it was that party when he gave you the jersey.” Grayson glances at her, noticing a small smile upon her lips.
“So it was him then”, she sighs. Leaning her head on the door, she closes her eyes. “But all of this was you.”
“Yeah.” Grayson intertwines their fingers, seeking comfort. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be”, Ella shrugs, “That Grayson wouldn’t have bothered with me.”
“That Grayson is a manwhoring mess.” Grayson chuckles, “But I was the same before I met my Ella. Maybe he just needs a nudge in the right direction.”
“Is it bad if I wish you to stay here?” Ella’s voice is quiet and wobbly, just above a whisper and it catches Grayson off guard.
“Is it bad if I say I fell in love with you just as I fell for my Ella?” Grayson counters and she lets out a breathless chuckle.
“It’s not bad, I mean I’m still Ella. Just on a different path in life.” Shrugging, she leans her head on Grayson’s shoulder, “Maybe that Grayson is you on a different path too? Maybe he doesn’t need an Ella of his own?”
Wrapping an arm around Ella, Grayson brings her closer to him, “Every Grayson needs an Ella.”
And in the silence, they found the comfort they both seek. It’s not right, but it felt perfect.
“You two are gloomy.” Ethan states, scaring them both. They were perfectly content staring at nothing in particular, just sitting there with the inner struggle wrecking them apart.
“You should wear a bell”, Grayson remarks and Ethan rolls his eyes.
“When you say shit like that, I genuinely can’t tell the difference”, Ethan steps aside, trying to get to the door.
“Does he know?” Ella asks and Grayson nods.
“Yeah, he’s the only one who knew.”
Furrowing his eyebrows, Ethan glares at Grayson, “So you told her?”
“Yup”, Ella exclaims.
“Great!” Ethan opens the door, letting the pair fall on their backs with a string of curses from Grayson’s mouth and a small yelp from Ella’s.
Grayson barely got up to his feet, helping Ella up as well when Ethan screamed, “KRISTINA FOLLOWED ME BACK!”
--
Laying on the bed with Grayson beside her, Ella wasn’t sure what to think anymore. Part of her thought she’s insane for believing him so quickly, yet another part of her knew with absolute certainty that no one couldn’t know the details he mentioned a few weeks ago and that if he knew them, the other version of her must have truly loved him to spill the beans.
Ever since then, they’ve been inseparable. Ella knew it was unwise to spend so much time with Grayson, to get involved more than she already has. One day, she’d wake up next to the other Grayson and she’d be left alone. It would be over before it started and she didn’t know how to accept the fact he’s never going to be hers. Not really.
“What are you thinking about?” Grayson breaks the silence, noticing she’s deep in thought.
“About the day I wake up to the other you.” She admits and Grayson frowns, propping himself up on his elbows. He’s never going to get used to how straightforward this Ella is. He both loves and fears that about her.
“You think it’s gonna happen?”
Nodding, she sighs, “I just feel it. It’s unexplainable.”
Swallowing thickly, Grayson licks his lips, “If it does, don’t give up on me.”
Grayson’s eyes flicker to her lips only to pull away before he dares to even think about it further. They may be spending all of this time together and sleep in the same bed most nights, but they’ve never once kissed since the night of the game. Ella said she wanted to give her other self some much deserved respect and not cheat though she wasn’t sure if it qualified as cheating either.
“You? That won’t be you, Gray.” Ella rubs her nose, sniffling. “He won’t be you, just like I’ll never be Ella for you. Which sucks.” Tears brim her long eyelashes, tugging at Grayson’s heartstrings.
“You are Ella. Even though you’re a little braver and confident, you’re her and she is you.” Grayson tries, but Ella shakes her head.
“No. That’s not true! I don’t have her memories or experiences and that’s what shapes a person. That Grayson won’t be you and truth be told, I’m not sure if I want him at all.” Sitting up, she hides her face in her hands.
“I’m not braver either, I’m just rougher around the edges. I could never publish that book like she did or move to Los Angeles and date a famous YouTuber.” Breathing fast, Ella felt like her head would explode.
“Hey, hey, hey”, Grayson says softly, his hands running up and down her back in hopes of soothing her. “Ells, what’s wrong?”
“Everything!” She exclaims, “I want you and I can’t have you! I can’t be with you when you’re already mine but in a different world and even if I ignore that, I can’t ignore the fact that sometime, even ten years down the line I could wake up to the other Grayson instead of you and it’s making me crazy!”
Wrapping his arms around Ella, Grayson held her close as she wept long into the night and he had never quite understood all the stories of the way your entire being hurts when your heart is broken and his heart is fucking shattered.
He’s holding the reason for his existence in his arms and he can’t ease her pain because he’s the cause of it. He wants to love her and she wants to love him back, but they can’t and Ella is right – even if he ignored the fact he’s not from her universe and went for it, there was no telling how long he’d be there.
In a spiritual life, much like the physical, there is an inhale and an exhale; the soul needs to inhale the feelings of another soul in order to claim them, to enrich them before returning it in an exhale. Without this, there is no life for the heart, without it, the heart is suffocating, suffering, withering.
And that’s exactly how Grayson and Ella feel right now – suffocating, suffering, withering.
As her breathing evens out and Grayson realizes she’s fallen asleep despite the occasional sob she lets out in her sleep, he looks up at the ceiling and sighs heavily as if the world’s weight is crushing him.
“Please make this right. For her sake. I don’t even care what happens to me, just make Ella happy again. Please.”
And when Grayson closed his eyes, he never imagined it would be the last night he spends in her bed.
--
With closed eyes, Grayson reached out for Ella. He didn’t remember when she slipped out of his arms in the night, but he wouldn’t consciously keep it that way. Having her close felt like a lifeline for Grayson, even if they were trying to keep it platonic. Too often did he consider just moving on with her, pretending as if his life is in a universe made not for him.
He wanted to stay and help Ethan get with Kristina, to help his sister start her own design company if she was still interested in that field or to simply go home and see his family. He wondered far too often how they were, but he never dared to ask Ethan about it. It’s a sore subject for Grayson, even now. He imagined it was the same for Ethan.
“Ella?” He grumbles, squinting to find her when his arm fails. Furrowing his eyebrows, he looks at the much larger bed he’s on with a concerned look upon his face. “What the –“, he starts only to recognize the bed-sheets Ella spent three days making a pro/con list for. “Oh God”, Grayson jumps to his feet, looking around wildly.
The lamp next to his bed is replaced by an old alarm clock, his windows are covered with drapes he doesn’t remember having and the floor is covered in clothes Grayson never saw in his life. Looking down, he finds his thighs are covered in tattoos and a choked sob escapes him.
He’s not sure if he’s happy or not about the possibility of being in his own universe again. There is still a chance he’s in a new universe altogether, but even if he’s back home, what exactly is he coming home to? What exactly did he leave behind?
That Ella must have had a shock of a lifetime when she woke up to the manwhore version of himself and he wished he could apologize to her for it, but he’ll never get to see her or talk to her again.
And then he remembered, “Ella”, he breathed out as he ran to the door. He’s not sure if she’s even there, if she even stayed after the switch brought his worst self to her bed and he realized his Ella had woken up to that Grayson too.
Heart in his throat, Grayson stumbles as he heads to the kitchen where he hears movement. He isn’t sure what is waiting for him here, but when he sees the messy bun he always loved to untangle and the back of her neck that he loved to kiss, Grayson felt his heart stop.
Swallowing thickly, he stood there, frozen at the sight of her. She’s so close that he could have her in his arms in a few steps, but would she forgive him if he told her he kissed the other Ella? Would she forgive him if he told her he had started liking the life he had in that universe?
Wetting his lips, he lets his heart guide him as his feet take him closer and once he’s there, his arms wrap around her on instinct. His head rests on her shoulder and he can feel her tense up, but he’s barely holding back tears as he inhales her familiar scent.
Grayson missed Ella in every possible way. His soul yearned for hers and being back in her presence had made him crumble.
“What are you doing?” She groans, trying to unwrap his arms from around her waist. “I told you I will never sleep with you!” She raises her voice as she slaps at his hands and Grayson finally snaps out of it, releasing her.
She whips around, eyes narrowed at Grayson who furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Pointing the tip of her index finger at his chest, Ella’s nostrils flare, “You have to stop this! I’m not a toy you can play with whenever you feel like it. I’m in pain!” She exclaims, pausing as she averts her gaze and her hand drops, “Do you even know what seeing you feels for me?” She sniffles as tears fill her eyes. “You’re wearing his face and body, but you’re too different. You’ve become better, you’ve done the work, but I love him. I can’t just forget about that.”
Drawing in a deep breath, Grayson felt his heart break further. It never occurred to him how hard this might have been for his Ella. She was stuck with the manwhore who would have broken her heart and he did. It was a relief she knew it wasn’t him, at least. His Ella knew better than the other Ella.
“And I love you”, Grayson manages a smile, “I’m sorry it took me this long to tell you.”
“What?” Ella crosses her arms, looking at him as if he’s offended her.
“It’s me, Ella. I’m back.” Grayson tries reaching out for her hand only to have her shake her head and move away. She’s physically revolted by his presence while he’s aching for a smile from her pressed lips.
“You’ve tried this before. I’m not going to fall for your shitty tricks”, Ella heaves, a hand placed on her chest as her tears spill over.
“He tried this?!” Grayson practically growls, slamming his fist on the countertop. “Did he touch you?” Grayson’s jaw clenches as he looks to a shaky Ella who isn’t sure what to say or believe anymore. It’s like she’s drowning with no help in sight.
“Please stop”, she croaks, “I thought you and I were friends now.”
Chuckling dryly, Grayson shakes his head, “Your pet fish was called Goldie because she was gold. Your turtle Rocky bit her tail off and she died.” Stepping closer, he points at her chest, “You have a birthmark right between your breasts.” Pursing his lips, he wonders what else he could tell her. Her eyes are wide, glistening with tears, but he has to let her know it’s him. “When we first met you called me and Ethan snotty teenagers. You hate my decorating skills and you hate my snoring.”
“Grayson?” Her voice is shaky as she steps closer, reaching her trembling hand out. Her palm finds its way to his cheek and Grayson leans into it with a soft sigh. “You came back to me?”
Taking her face in his hands, he rests his forehead on hers, “I did.”
“It’s been so hard”, she whispers and he closes his eyes.
“You were right, you know?” Grayson’s nose brushes hers, “You wouldn’t like the jock Grayson. But I really liked college Ella.”
Grayson often debated if he should be honest with Ella if he somehow made his way back home and despite his doubts, he remembers their relationship is founded on honesty. He promised her he’d always tell her the truth and he couldn’t look her in the eye and ignore the fact he had felt a little heartbroken about the Ella he left behind.
“You met me?” She steps back, wanting to look at him better.
“I’ll always find you”, Grayson smiles.
“You fell for her, didn’t you?” Ella steps back, hurt flashing behind her brown eyes.
“I did fall for her”, Grayson admits, “But I love you.”
Staring at Grayson, Ella didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know how to feel either. Would she be right to hold it against him? After all, it was still her. Grayson loved her, in every universe. So why does it feel like he had cheated on her? Why does her heart bleed?
“Did you touch her like you touch me?”
Breaking eye contact, Grayson leans on the countertops, “I kissed her once.”
“Once”, Ella chuckles dryly. “I almost had sex with the other you, but at least I didn’t know the truth. You knew the girl you were kissing wasn’t really me. She’s someone I will never be and she will never be me.”
“Please don’t hate me”, Grayson croaks as tears form in his eyes. He’s not ready to lose her, but he’s not ready to keep her with him by lying. She deserves better and he knows that.
“I don’t hate you, Grayson”, she lets out a shuddered breath, “I wish I did. It would be easier.”
“Easier?” Grayson’s eyebrows furrow when she takes her bag and puts it over her shoulder.
“I need some time and I need you not to look for me.” It was killing her to do this, to take a step back from their relationship. Ella needed some perspective, to find a way to breathe again and being close to Grayson always felt like she was trying to keep her head above the crashing waves.
“Ella”, Grayson reaches for her but she recoils from him, again. She had done it once when she thought it was his other self, but she knew this was him. She still didn’t want him.
“I have never asked anything from you, but I need this.” Ella covers her mouth to stop a sob from passing her lips as she turns from Grayson and heads for the door only to run into Ethan and Kristina.
Kristina is quick to wrap her arms around Ella, both of them leaving through the front door.
But Ethan wasn’t leaving. He turned to Grayson with a stone cold look in his eyes and headed for him with a formed fist prepared to leave a mark.
“What did you do?!” Ethan shouted, ready to lay Grayson out in a single punch.
Raising his hands in mock surrender, Grayson circles the countertops so he’d be on a different side from Ethan who wanted blood.
“Whoa! It’s me, E! It’s Grayson! I’m back!” Grayson insisted as he ran in circles with Ethan, “YOUR FIRST TIME WAS WHEN YOU WERE 17!” He shouts and Ethan stops, eyes wide. “You also drank a beer when you were 16, but you’d never admit it. You hated onions as a kid!”
“Grayson?”
--
“How cool was the other me?” Ethan smirks as Grayson rolls his eyes, unsure if he should be annoyed or angry at his brother for not doing a better job at protecting Ella from the other Grayson who had clearly left her broken with issues he didn’t know how to resolve.
“You were single as fuck and a nerd”, Grayson sighs, “Kristina wasn’t even an acquaintance and the car you drove was more like a trash can running on fumes.”
Staring blankly, Ethan swallows thickly, “I don’t like that universe.”
“I liked it”, Grayson covers his face with his hands, his voice filled with remorse. “I didn’t know my life here was imploding while I was living the life I genuinely prefer over this one.”
“You’re saying college football was better than this house?” Ethan raises an eyebrow, “The money we have, the world we’ve seen, people we’ve met?”
Nodding, Grayson drags his palms down his face, “It was so much better.”
“Well, good for you. Meanwhile Kristina and I were dealing with a manwhore baby Grayson with no impulse control who was a pathological liar and manipulator.” Flicking a crumb from the countertop onto Grayson, Ethan continues, “Ella cried herself to sleep every night and we didn’t know what the fuck is happening.”
“She said she almost slept with him”, Grayson gulps audibly, unsure if he’s feeling guilty over the position that put her in, angry she’s angry at him when she nearly did something worse or jealous over the fact she had been touched by what seems to be the demonic version of him.
“You literally admitted to kissing the other Ella, I hardly think you have any room to judge anything she did Grayson.” Ethan’s tone is cold, his words harsh but truthful. Grayson has no right to be angry or jealous, he was a willing participant while his Ella was tricked.
“I can’t explain it”, Grayson runs his fingers through his hair, moving it away from his forehead. Truth be told, he got used to the short hair from the other universe, he couldn’t wait to cut it again. “She was still Ella. They had their differences, but she was still Ella and the more time I spent with her, less I wanted to be away from her.”
“Look, this is uncharted territory. We can’t exactly define any rules in a situation that had no rules, so just give her a moment to deal with this on her own terms.” Ethan places his hand on Grayson’s shoulder, hoping to comfort his brother but even he was having issues looking at him normally after everything the other Grayson did.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” Grayson frowns, lips parted as Ethan’s eyes widen.
“Like what?”
“Like I’m about to fuck something up”, Grayson’s frown deepens as Ethan presses his lips together, genuinely having flashbacks to the insanity of manwhore Grayson and the stress he caused.
“I’m just waiting for you to start complaining about the tattoos or fake gag at vegan food or order a bunch of fried chicken or maybe scream about a game you’re missing.” Ethan rambles on as Grayson cackles, shaking his head.
“Man, I’m a dick!”
“Oh, no, the dick part was you hitting on Ella and then winking at every cute girl in your way.” Ethan raises both eyebrows as he shrugs, “I did smack you every time I could tho’, Kris did too.”
“Good”, Grayson exhales through his nose, his lips pressed as his eyes fall to his hands. “I really didn’t want to hurt her. Either Ella”, Grayson’s voice is meek, defeated and the empty look in his eyes speaks volumes of the weight that’s been forced upon his heart.
“I know”, Ethan manages a smile, “You’ll get her back.”
“Think so?” Grayson raises his eyebrows, an inkling of hope lingering deep behind his brown hues.
Ethan’s smile widens in an instant, “Know so.”
--
In this broken world Ella is Grayson’s world, his healer, his light and love, good women are that way. He missed her, more and more as each day passed and while it seemed like the world was spinning madly on, Grayson’s life felt like it stopped the day she walked out the door.
Kristina came back hours later, but Ella didn’t. What made it worse is that whatever Ella shared with Kristina had turned her against Grayson as well. She didn’t want to speak to him, much less to convey his messages to Ella and Grayson was sure they were in contact.
This heartbreak was unexpected, as they always are - top of the world one minute and cut down the next. Grayson expected to be blissful if he ever found his way back, but he only found misery. He could only blame himself for having broken not one, but three hearts the night he made his way back home.
Oftentimes, Grayson wondered what happened with the other Grayson and Ella when they woke up together, sharing a single bed. Did he once again try to lie and manipulate Ella or was he decent enough to tell her the truth.
Grayson feared he didn’t. He could only hope he was better with her, for her. Ella deserved that much and he believed she was more compatible with manwhore Grayson anyway. If anyone can whip him back into shape it would be her.
And his Ella, his beautiful, kind Ella…He thought about her all the time. What is she up to? Where is she? Is she as lonely as he is?
He failed her, both of them. He failed himself too.
Hearing Ethan talk about the constant stress the other Grayson put on her, their fights, her refusal to walk away because she hoped it would get better. She didn’t give up on him then, even though he was his worst self, but she walked away when she heard he had made a conscious decision to kiss someone else.
He betrayed her trust and despite feeling guilty, he couldn’t regret it. Meeting her in a different universe only convinced him she’s his soulmate more. He couldn’t imagine life without her, in any reality.
And as a month passed, Grayson found it impossible to sleep in the bed he once shared with Ella. He preferred to sleep on the couch, even if his back felt broken in the morning. The pain was comforting compared to the loneliness the bed evoked. It was better off this way. He hated himself in that bed, he blamed himself every night and morning.
Closing his eyes, Grayson felt a tear roll down his temple. If he’s entirely honest, he’s not sure if he’s just too fucked up to ever love anyone like he loves Ella. He swallows thickly as his heart clenches in pain as his senses trick him into believing she’s with him.
For a moment, he could have sworn he smelled her perfume, the one he was absolutely smitten with. She wore it when they first met, she wore it when they first kissed and she wore it when they first became one. That perfume signifies all their firsts, all the good memories and even the fights he remembers carry a nostalgic happiness to them. Fighting is better than the silence she left him in. If she’s fighting, she cares but when she stops, that’s when crippling fear takes place and Grayson’s been consumed by that fear for too long.
A weight falls on him, a warmth engulfing him. The scent is stronger now, almost like she’s still there with him and in a moment of weakness, Grayson’s lips pass a strangled sob from deep within twenty one grams of soul and the sanity he once possessed.
“Don’t cry”, a raspy voice fills the silence and Grayson’s heart nearly stops. He’s hallucinating now, clearly he’s lost his mind. “If you cry, I cry”, the voice returns as a whisper and Grayson’s not sure if it’s all a dream.
Opening his eyes, he gasps once he sees Ella’s head resting on his chest. She’s laid upon him like a safety blanket, a tad too short to truly cover him but effective in its intent.
“You’re here”, Grayson breathes out and her head moves up so her eyes meet his.
“I couldn’t trust you, I didn’t even trust myself that day. I didn’t dare let you near me scared that I’ll lose you the same, but I can’t let that fear dictate my life and I can’t bear the pain of staying away.”
Running his hand down her back, Grayson pulls her up ever so slightly so he could easily kiss her lips if she allowed him to. He wanted to be able to see every change in her eyes, every line of her face.
“I love you”, he stops her from speaking, finding her apologies unnecessary. She had enough of heartbreak for both of them when he disappeared.
“Don’t let me run again”, her voice breaks and Grayson notices the tears pricking at her eyes, “I know I asked you to let me go, but don’t. I got mad and insecure, but I love you. So don’t ever let me leave again.”
Brushing the tip of his nose against hers, Grayson’s lips curl at the corners, “Never.”
“Do you want to tell me how awesome the other me was?” She raises her eyebrows expectantly as Gray gives her a slight shake of his head.
“Well, you were crushing on some dick Dougie”, Grayson starts and her eyebrows furrow in confusion before her mouth opens wide.
“You mean Danny?!”
The excited tone instantly put a frown on Grayson’s face, making Ella chuckle.
“He was my first ever boyfriend back home!” She continues, further aggravating Grayson who could no longer hold back. He told himself he’d be more patient, but it’s a work in progress and he needed her to stop talking, so he did the most natural thing he could think of.
He kissed her.
Before she could withdraw, his arms were around her. He bent back her head across his arm and kissed her, softly at first, and then with a swift gradation of intensity that made her cling to him as the only solid thing in a dizzy swaying world. His insistent mouth was parting her shaking lips, sending wild tremors along her nerves, evoking from her sensations she had never known she was capable of feeling. And before a swimming giddiness spun her round and round, she knew that she was kissing him back.
It’s like opening up your soul to tasting, feeling and seeing every color of the rainbow in their own sensual way. For Ella it felt almost like catching Grayson’s smile in a bottle, its softness, its sweetness, the slight arrogance that provoked a reaction of her insatiable need for his touch. Kissing Grayson felt just like breathing oxygen she needs to keep her heart beating. His kisses warm the soul. His kisses are right. He is right; for her, with her, he’s the part of her she can’t imagine her future without.
“Never mention Doyle when you’re in my arms”, Grayson whispers against her lips, “Don’t mention Dairy, ever again”, Grayson adds while she giggles, amused by his absolute refusal to say the name right. “That would have been an awful tattoo”, he adds as she chuckles.
“If this is my punishment, I might be inclined to break that rule”, she winks, “Often”.
For a moment, Grayson stopped and stared. She didn’t seem shy or less brave than the other Ella at all. She felt brazen, unapologetically her and Grayson realized for once and all, his Ella, as complicated as she may be, is absolute perfection.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m a man of my words, isn’t it?” Grayson’s smirk is gone once his lips claim Ella’s again and she releases a satisfied moan in response. It was the kind of kiss that was so intoxicating your brain couldn’t handle thinking about anything else.
“I love you”, Grayson whispers against her lips, “I love you”, he repeats. “I love you, I love you, I love you”, he peppers her face and neck with feather light kisses, repeating his ‘I love you’ over and over like a prayer that was finally answered.
No matter what was in store for them, Grayson believed they would find their way back to each other. After all, they’re meant to be and for once, he didn’t doubt that saying.
People who are meant to be together always find their way in the end.
#grayson dolan#ethan dolan#dolan twins#grayson dolan x reader#grayson dolan x oc#grayson dolan imagine#grayson dolan fanfiction#grayson dolan fic#grayson dolan au#grayson dolan angst#grayson dolan fluff
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Aim and Shoot Your Shot
Pairing: Taehyung x Reader
Genre: fluff, conartist!Taehyung, assassin!reader
Word count: 1.9k
Warnings: PG-13, mentions of blood, guns, death, scam artists, video games LOL (nothing to gorey or serious tho), some cursing, very inaccurate descriptions of assassins-ish/scam artist missions
Synopsis: It do be Valentine’s Day.
Gunshots fire. Bullets whizz past your cheek. The stench of fresh blood reaches your nostrils. And yet. As you walk through the blood pooling at your feet, you don’t flinch.
Your hand is steady, resting on the trigger and ready to turn the corner.
BAM.
A clean headshot is fired and you’re thrown back with spurts of blood shooting out your neck onto the dirt floor.
“Damn,” you mutter, roughly tossing your mouse aside at your 20th death.
“How the hell are you an assassin with a KDA of 6/20/3?” a voice snickers through your headphones as you lean back into your swivel chair and shut off the game client.
“Real life and games are different, I guess,” you shrug.
The line abruptly goes dead making you straighten up in your chair in confusion. “What?” you mutter, checking up on the headphone cords and pc wires.
“You gonna sit there all day?”
You whip around to see Taehyung, your group’s main conman, and your partner in crime. Literally.
“We got a call,” he says, tossing over your hat and mask and cooly walking out the door. You slip on your cap and mask, pulling on a black jacket over your all-black look, and shove on your white sneakers.
“You have got to teach me better aim,” you mutter as you hop into the passenger seat. Taehyung scoffs as he starts the van’s engine, driving towards the Kim family’s mansion where your team was stationed to take action at the shady networking party.
“Says the sniper,” he shakes his head.
You sigh. “I don’t know what it is. It’s just not the same.”
At the sudden silence, you glance at Taehyung’s side profile, never able to get used to his perfectly sculpted face as his eyes intently focus on the road before you.
“What’s the matter?” he suddenly asks, briefly meeting your eyes before turning right back onto the streets. You flinch at the unexpected interaction and shake your head.
“N-Nothing,” you hum. “Is… Eunji going in with you today?”
Taehyung nods. “She always does for these cocktail parties.”
“Right,” you mutter under your breath.
You don’t know what you have against Eunji. She had joined the team a month after you finished sniper training and attending the main missions.
She took on the role as a con woman alongside Taehyung, acting as his plus one at these types of rich people events you guys attended.
Despite their visual charisma when Eunji held onto Taehyung’s arm and they both flashed their blinding smiles, Taehyung had always worked with you the best through the mere earpieces. He was good at flattering others and extremely observant, using his quick wit to navigate the areas. You were good at keeping him in check, giving clear, specific orders, and watching his back.
The two of you had effective communication as he gave signals through your binoculars for you to make the first shot. After one specific instance where Taehyung had experienced massive injuries and laid right under one of the notorious gang members, you had sniped the guy right off of him and weirdly, things started to change between you and Taehyung. Your friendship grew stronger despite the field of work the two of you were in and you found the both of you often relying on each other.
But nevertheless, Eunji was good at acting just like Taehyung which automatically earned her the position as the main con artist and appear as the perfect wealthy young couple at parties and business affairs. You had been ignoring the green feeling you got every time you had to watch them through your binoculars but it was becoming increasingly difficult.
Taehyung stifles a laugh, immediately catching your attention.
“Are you jealous?”
Your eyes widen at the unexpected question that makes your heart race in nervousness. “Why would I be jealous? Of who?”
Taehyung shrugs, an amusing smirk plastered onto his stupidly handsome face. Before you could retort, Taehyung stops the car towards the wooded area hidden from main traffic and hops into the back to change into his suit.
You snap out of your confusing emotions, reminding yourself that you were in on an important business deal with the infamous Kim family who believed Taehyung and Eunji was the Shin family from France.
You quickly retrieve your weapons and materials from the trunk and nag Taehyung to safely carry out the mission and not be rash like he often was. He responds with a mischievous smile and a flick to your forehead before heading towards the hacker, Kim Namjoon’s van to take note of any security obstacles and important individuals.
You quietly run through the back route that you had analyzed on the way here and make your way up to the building labeled Building B. You shove in your earpiece before setting up your equipment, keeping a sharp eye out for any suspicious movements around you. Dealing with the Kim family was always risky business.
“Testing. Cinnamon buns. Testing.”
You snort. “Wanna go on a cinnamon bun date with me, Yoongs?”
Yoongi, the other experienced sniper currently stands on the opposite building from you, setting up his own materials. He ignores your comment, as usual, and focuses on the main hall of the mansion.
“Honestly, I always thought you guys looked cute together,” another voice adds with a snicker that you join in on. It was always too fun teasing Yoongi.
“What!?” Taehyung nearly yells into your ear making you grimace at the sudden loudness.
“Taehyung. Please,” Yoongi grits. “And shut the hell up, Park. Make sure you don’t end up knocking out the wrong man.”
That had happened before.
“Is Taeji in?” Jungkook, the new recruit in charge of hand to hand combat, interrupts the mild banter through the earpiece.
You refrain from rolling your eyes at the combination of Taehyung’s and Eunji’s names that your dumb team members came up with and listen quietly to Yoongi’s confirmation of observing the main entrance.
“Jimin,” Yoongi suddenly interrupts the silence. You scan the ballroom and spot the man in question who was, as always, flirting with a random woman for absolutely no reason except shits and giggles. “You aren’t here to pick up a one-night stand.”
You let out a short laugh as you see Jimin tense up indicating his entire body’s suppression of rolling his eyes. He successfully maintains his signature eye smile in front of the bashful female bartender who slips him a napkin. Probably with a set of numbers written on them.
“Security system is officially down,” Namjoon informs. “Taeji, Y/N. Standby at target.”
You quickly get into position, peering through your gun at the tall glass windows on the side of the target room. Once you make sure it’s in place, you use your binoculars to keep a close watch on the surroundings. You sweep over Taehyung and Eunji’s positions as they converse with some of the guests at the ball.
“Kim Seokjin entered through the side entrance doors,” Yoongi reports.
“Naturally get out of the conversation,” Namjoon instructs. “Kim approaching ten o’ clock about 100 ft away.”
You watch Eunji tug on Taehyung’s arm and lean close to whisper something in his ear.
You roll your eyes. Was that really necessary to get out of the conversation? You knew Eunji harbored feelings for Taehyung and always made it a point to be extra touchy on missions where they were required to enter as a couple.
You sigh as Taehyung gazes down at her with his playful grin and wraps his arm around her, quietly saying their excuses to the guests and taking their leave to “coincidentally” bump into Seokjin.
“Y/N,” Yoongi’s quiet voice calls.
“Listening,” you murmur.
“Remember. Don’t shoot unless it’s a life or death situation.”
“Got it,” you assure him, remembering that one time you had accidentally pulled the trigger during a winning fight. Good thing you had missed it because that would’ve been an extremely difficult situation to clear up.
Namjoon instructs Taehyung and Eunji to lead Seokjin into the back room where the transaction was scheduled to take place.
“How is someone so evil so good looking,” you say once you get a proper look at the man’s visuals as he follows after Taehyung and Eunji without any suspicion.
Eh, Tae’s more of my type. You think.
Yoongi rolls his eyes when he sees Taehyung’s jaw tense at your words that had accidentally spoken through your earpieces.
“Make a move if you’re mad,” Yoongi snickers as you scoff believing it referred to you while Taehyung jolts in surprise.
After a flashing light signal, Taehyung naturally walks towards the windows, slowly drawing the blinds closed just in case any rival gangs or crews were also present on the scene. Namjoon and Yoongi were watching the room from their respective visible places while Jimin and Jungkook were getting ready for any surprise attacks a few meters from the door. You stay still in position, taking this time to stretch your limbs since you didn’t have a visible line of sight.
A few minutes pass in silence which was quite normal for these types of meetings. It’s only when these business transactions get gangs involved that things go haywire and blood is shed.
“Shit,” Taehyung’s familiar timbre voice comes in through your headpiece. You immediately grow tense as Jimin quickly asks about the condition of the situation.
“Transaction is complete,” Namjoon quickly clarifies. “I don’t know why Taehyung cursed. Yoongi and Y/N stay in your positions till the Kims completely exit. Taeji and Kook, hurry and head out into your vans. Jimin hang around for about twenty more minutes. Don’t end up in a motel tonight.”
Jimin giggles as he walks back out into the main ballroom. “I’ll try.”
“Geez Tae,” Jungkook sighs, walking out towards the back of the mansion. “I thought I had to bust in.”
“Sorry,” Taehyung says, walking out through the back still in his suit and practically glowing. He fidgets with his watch and fiddles the knife stuck around his hip. “Did you guys realize it was Valentine’s Day tomorrow?”
You turn away, putting your binoculars aside as Eunji suddenly perks up expectantly at Taehyung’s random inquiry.
“Y/N,” Taehyung calls with hesitance.
You sigh, kneeling at your gun and peering in through the scope just in case. “I’m here.”
Unfortunately.
“You free tomorrow?”
You pause, leaning back from the gun. Was he trying to make fun of your single ass?
You don’t realize that just twenty feet below you, Taehyung awkwardly paces around as Eunji squints her eyes and huffs away to her respective van.
“Tomorrow?” you ask in confusion. “You tryin’ to have a galentines or something because obviously I do not have any pla-”
“Dumbass. He’s asking you out for Valentine’s Day,” Jimin suddenly interrupts, immediately sending both Taehyung and your faces to flush red.
You gulp. “As in-”
“A date,” Taehyung finishes. He nervously peers up at the building you were standing on top of earlier. He’s able to spot your dark figure. You turn around, somehow meeting Taehyung’s eyes as the mansion’s lights illuminate where you both stand.
“This is nasty,” Jungkook mutters with a sigh, hopping into Namjoon’s van.
Ding.
“This isn’t what I meant by making a move,” Yoongi sighs, tossing aside his water bottle after taking a swig. “Public confessions are a thing now?”
You look away, digging into your back pocket for your vibrating phone.
Tae: Go out... with me.
You intake a sharp breath, looking down only to see Taehyung typing away.
“You’re just salty that you’re lonely,” Jimin hums back at Yoongi, entering the ballroom with a flirty grin directed at CEO Shin’s mistress.
Tae: I like you Y/N. Wanna be my valentine?
“Fuck you,” Yoongi deadpans.
You: :3 teach me how to aim?
Taehyung grins, looking back up to see you peer down at him from the ledge.
“FOREVER AND ALWAYS!” he yells with a boxy smile.
“We’re literally going to die,” Namjoon groans.
#networkbangtan#bangtanhq#bangtanidx#btsboulangerie#bts#bts x reader#taehyung x reader#taehyung scenario#bts scenario#taehyung fluff
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Ch. 7 Creepypastas x Fem!Reader
Ch.8 is coming soon.
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The moons illuminating rays peered through the thick glass into the bland bedroom. They hit the girl delicate skin as her fatigued eyes diligently scanned the map that was firmly grasped in her callused hands. Feeling her mind drift off as her eyelids fought to stay open. Her arched back aching as she could barely hold her frame from collapsing. That whole day was unimaginably tiresome. Masky made it a point to make her do random errands and tasks all along the walk. When questioned on why he would nonchalantly shrug it off and blandly answer that he was preparing her for "future responsibilities".
Feeling her mind deteriorate with every passing second, the only sound heard was the gentle ticking of the clock that arrogantly hung on the wall above her head. Until eventually, her whole being gave out, and the front of her face slammed into the mattress, quickly slipping into slumber. The morning she awoke by the blare of her alarm clock. Her head spinning as she sat up on the bed, the suns beams worming up her body as she put her head in her hands
A groan escaped her chapped lips as she finally looked around her. Loose pieces of paper were scattered all around, and a giant crumpled map was in the middle of her bed. Frowning, she got up. Tripping her way to the door, her legs ready to give out on her. Opening it up, her gaze was met with the unpleasant sight of Masky towering over her. He still wore his rugged brown jacket, tho it seemed freshly washed as it had no odour, though it was still heavily stained with crimson. He crossed his bulky arms in disapproval, something he made a habit of doing, and even though she couldn't see his face she could still feel his eyes passing through her like bullets. Still feeling the weight of her eyelids trying to close, she just stood there not making a sound, staring blankly, all until he finally spoke up.
" Good your up, be down in 30 minutes we will start your exam them." He strongly spoke as he turned and walked towards the stairs leading to the living room. The girl's eyes shot up, now no longer dazed and tired.
" Wha-what? 30 minutes-ARE YOU INSANE!" She frantically exclaimed as she tried to follow him.
" I said what I said, now don't waste your time trying to argue with me and get ready." He grumbled as he turned to face her one last time before he descended the staircase.
The girl stood there in shock her mind racing as she debated on what to do first with the minimal time she had. Finally, she ran to the bathroom taking a cold 5-minute shower and quickly getting ready. Running to the kitchen, she only had about 15 minutes to spear. Halfheartedly making herself breakfast, she shoved the food down her throat. Looking at the clock that hung on the kitchen wall, she saw that she had a few minutes to spear. Choosing to use that time and recap all the things she studied the previous night.
Drawoinning in thought she was abruptly startled by the sudden pressure felt on her shoulder. Looking up, she saw Masky squeezing her shoulder with his gloved hand as a means to alert her of his presence.
" Get up, your examination begins now."
He said firmly, as he lifted his hand and made his way out of the kitchen, expecting her to follow. A loud breath escaped the girl shaking lips, as she followed. Only expecting the worst from the man in front of her, being sure that he hated her guts.
Stepping outside, they walked on the same path they took the previous day, and again instead of going to the clearing, they turned in the other direction until they lastly arrived at the tree. Masky abruptly stopped, putting his hand in his pocket looking for something.
" So, what exactly am I going to be doing."
She said standing by his side, he just ignored her still looking for something in his pocket until he finally pulled it out. He was now holding two silver pocket watches and handed her one of them.
Holding it infirmly in her hand and got a closer look at it, the watch itself seemed quite old as there were bits and pieces of the metal, bound with rust. There was also a design of sort unevenly engraved on the top of it, it was a circle that was crossed out. On both sides, there were two small buttons that she proceeded to press making it smoothly opened up, by her disbelief as she thought she would have trouble opening it. The inside was nothing special just a normal clock with roman numerals. But something about it still gave the girl an irregular feeling, like it wasn't just a normal watch.
" Now, well begin so listen carefully." Maskys sharp voice took the girl out of her daze.
" As you can see I just handed you a pocket watch. And I understand you've already opened it, good." He approached her and took the watch out of her hand. She could feel his rough leather gloves graze her bare balm.
" The reason as to why I gave you this is simply that you'll use it as a timer. You have exactly 10 hours to complete the 15 tasks I have assigned you. This should be easy if you studied the map and know where you're supposed to go. Now I also have one so I can track you."
He began to wind up the watches, proceeding to open the girl closed hand and quickly place the watch inside. He then handed her a piece of paper that was crudely written on.
" Oh and, if you don't manage to complete this whole list by the end of those 10-hours you'll be appropriately punished."
The girls face scrunched up in disapproval as her eyebrows arched in the question of what exactly this punishment might ensue, the thought of what he might do made her shutter.
' I guess ill just have to complete this whole thing in less than 10 hours so I won't have to know what that means.' She thought as her eyes scanned through the paper. The tasks themselves weren't all that hard just very time consuming, if she were to do them in a thoughtful manner she could be done in exactly the time necessary.
"You'll start the watch when I step out of the trees fealed of protection, understand?"
" Yes, of course."
Masky then slowly walked his way away from the tree, the girl eagerly waiting for him to reach the end, the moment he did she quickly starting the watch. The first thing she had to retrieve a plant that was located across the forset. ' Ok, I remember this, it was down by the denser part of the forest right across from here. This shouldn't be that har, right?.' With that final thought, she started to sprint.
The piece of paper crumpled in her hand as she got drowned in the sounds of the leaves and sticks crunching under her feet. Branches from the trees grazed and cut her body as she ran, and random rocks showed to be an obstacle all along the way. But she didn't care as the only thing she was focused on was the destination, the memories of where everything was flashed into her head. her surroundings helped her navigate through the forest. Every indentation of the trees and rocks, the blowing wind even the holes that covered the soil.
She was able to get to her destination in about 16 minutes. Slowing down with a loud groan she quickly caught herself on the nearest tree, feeling unimaginably tyred though she still didn't stop and soon found herself double-checking the piece of paper in her hand to make sure she knew what she was looking for. The plant was a Rskovnik. The name rang a bell, she remembered hearing about in passing from jack when they talked one night. He mentioned it is a magic herb that helped with unlocking and uncovering certain things. Though it was very hard to find, as he only gave her a brief description of it being " grass that resembled a four-leaf clover, you'll know when you find it trust me".
Remembering their conversation made a small simper graze the girl's chapped lips. That night they spent talking was the only time she felt normal in the predicament that she was in. Soon she shook her head and proceeded to search the area for the herb, but no matter how hard she did she still couldn't find it. It seemed that she was looking for it for such a long time that she didn't notice the large animal approaching her. The creatures large body grazed one of the many bushes that scattered around them making it softly rustle, startling the girl and alerting her of its presence.
At that moment she broke out into a cold sweat, freezing up and contemplating what to do as she slowly started to turn her head in its direction. Through her peripheral, she saw its large nail-like teeth peering through its growling face. She then quickly spun around when she noticed it was about to leap at her and grabbed the nearest thing she could find lying next to her. The animal opened its largemouth in an attempt to bite her but ended up biting the thick tree branch she discovered.
Now she could get a better look at it. It resembled a dog, a husky she presumed, but this animal wasn't a normal dog, no. Its piercing cristal eyes didn't seem to hold any kind of life to them witch matched its patchy almost synthetic like fur. But what truly made this creature so unsettling was its wide human-like smile, with what seemed like hundreds of sharp white teeth that were smeared in a red liquid.
It soon turned into a battle of strength, as both sides fought as hard as they could to come out on top. This seemed to go on for a while until she was able to manoeuver the branch to push the beast off. Then right after she smacked it across the head and ran straight ahead to hide from the beast, eventually collapsing behind a tree. She took in a large breath and closed her eyes to calm down, letting her arms go to her sides and her body lose all of its tension. As her hand hit the jagged ground she felt a sharp pain shoot up her arm that made her look in its direction, at that moment noticing where she was sitting.
Right on top of the Rskovnik, she was looking for. Filling up one of her many pockets with as much as she needed she vent on her way to do everything else, seeing as she wasted 37 minutes just getting that one thing. Slowly throughout the day, she did task by tasks, each one more difficult than the last. Her time was running short as she was doing her last task only having 5 minutes to spear before she could go to the meeting place with all of the things she accumulated throughout those 10 hours. Starved and surely dehydrated she ran for dear life, scares and bruises littered not only her body but her face too.
She was sure that she was going to be late, having to then face Maskys rath. But strangely enough, she had made it right at the nick of time. Collapsing the moment she arrived near the tree. Clapping was then heard from afar, she didn't bother looking to see what was going on, feeling too exhausted to care.
" I am pleasantly surprised that you managed to do all of this. Right on time too."
He said, a bit of amusement lacing his voice, kneeling in front of her with a water bottle in hand. The girl proceeded to snatch it out of his palm and gulped down the whole bottle at once, feeling a refreshing sensation wash over her.
" We should go now, it's time for your lunch, plus you look very roughed up so you should take care of that."
He stated, waiting for the girl to get on her feet, noticing her struggle for a bit but eventually she got up and proceeded to walk towards the cabin. The walk itself was very slow as she struggled to hold her body up, but with the occasional reluctant assistance of Masky, they made it to their destination.
Immediately sprawling on the couch, the girl let out a small groan, the sudden pressure from sitting down made her wounds feel even worse than before but what could she do. Masky went on his way to get the first aid kit from the bathroom. Placing it on the coffee table in front of her, he watched her struggle to even reach for it as her aching arms sook with every attempt at extending them. Rolling his eyes in irritation, he placed the kit in her lap. But even with that she still struggled with using it as all her wounds were excruciating.
" Jesus, fine. I'll do it myself."
He exclaimed pushing her down on the couch while kneeling in front of her again. Taking the first aid kit off her person he proceeding to slowly open it and pull out all of the necessary items he needed to use.
" Ok, now show me where you got hurt." With that, the girl moved to pull up both of her pant legs revealing all the bruises and cuts on her legs. She did the same with her hands but they seemed to be more severe.
" Any more wounds I should know about before starting."
" Yeah, I have this big cut on my lower back. Here ill just show you."
She weakly replied as she unzipped the zipper she had sown on the side of her jumpsuit. A deep claw wound was present on her hip. Blood oozed out like icing, her face scrunched up in pain as Masky touched the wound.
" How did you manage to hurt yourself that badly?"
He spoke in a soft demanding tone as he grabbed some cotton and dabbed antiseptic on it.
" I got attack by this dog thing when I tried to do the first thing on the list."
Hissed in discomfort as the man began to clean her injury.
" Dog, huh? Describe to me what it looked like. I might know who you're talking about."
" Well, it had this weird grey fur and small doll-like eyes. But what really stood out was its...sm-"
"-Smile, right? Yeah, my suspicion was right you met smile dog, though I'm shocked he was active so early."
" Active so early? Whos this smiling dog and why did he attack me?"
" Well, he's one of the creatures I told you about your first day here. He's not very human-like so the reason he attacked you wasn't that he knew you were a Middle-man. No, most likely because he didn't recognize you. So don't worry ill tell him about you and he won't bother you again. Ok, I'm done with your side now give me your hand."
Extending her arm with a flinch, the man was prepared more cotton to disinfect the wounds. The sensation of his gloved hand on her skin was strange as she felt a stinging with every dap of the antiseptic. The silence was peaceful as Masky worked his way up both her arms, reaching for more antiseptic and taking the bottle in his hand it slipped from his grip and spiled a little on the floor.
" Dammit, my gloves are wet," Masky remarked under his breath as he proceeded to put the bottle back in its place and take off his gloves.
His hands were pale and veiny as his nails were cut to the brim. His palms and fingertips were callused and little cuts and scars littered his fingers while his two front knuckles were a different shade from the rest. A shiver ran up her spine when they contacted her skin, his hands were as cold as ice as he neatly bandaged both her arms. Tho the moment was short-lived as he finally finished.
" Here, all done. Now you only have a few cuts on your leg that don't need tending too so they'll be all right. But right now the best thing for you to do is to use a half-hour of your two-hour break resting. Understand?" He stated flatly.
" Sure." That was the only thing she could muster out of her voice as she proceeded to slowly lay her head down on the couch cushions.
" Good, ill be off to do some work now. Goodbye."
With that the man stood up, putting on his gloves and quickly approaching the front door. The girl watching his every step as he did. Them both not saying another word.
And now she was left in total silence all alone
#eyeless jack#eyeless jack x reader#eyeless jack x you#maskycreepypasta#cp masky#yandere masky#masky x reader#masky marble hornets#brian thomas#marble hornets#timothy wright#ticci toby#toby rogers#tim wright#tim masky#ben drowned#creepypasta x reader#ticcie toby x reader#slenderman#ben drowned x reader#creepypasta x you
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Amber/Momo Yaoyorozu
Color Prompt: Amber(Most of this was meant to happen in front of a fire...)
Fluff☁
Warnings: Tooth rotting fluff, cheesy confession, hiking, and my bad writing ❤
Disclaimer: I do not own bnha or any of its characters. Only the story written below.
A/N: I am SO SORRY this took so long! To make a long story short I basically dropped all of my hobbies in order to focus on the last bit of my school semester😅
It's litterly 12am rn so sorry if it seems a bit off at the end (this fic DEFINITELY did not go the way I planned😂I kina like it tho)
~~~•∆•~~~
You tried to keep up as you walked the trail, ducking and dodging branches. 'Why am I here again?' you thought starting to feel your fatigue slowly building.
It was nearing the end of class when Aizawa sensei randomly announced a surprise four day "field trip" that would take place two days later, and it wasn't an option. We ended up rushing to get our parents permission, and pack up.
You were pulled out of your thoughts as you heard Mina groaning loudly. "FINALLY!" The pink haired girl exclaimed sounding relieved. She had good reason to be, Aizawa Sensei had the entire class take a SIX HOUR hike instead of taking the bus up the very obvious road.
You dragged yourself to the clearing along with the rest of the class toward Aizawa sensei, who some how made it up before all of you. And didn't seem the least bit tired??? After giving the class a few hours to rest, thank goodness, Aizawa sensei stood up to speak.
"I'm glad to see you all made it in one piece, however I can't promise you'll leave that way" Everyone internally groaned at this. "starting today we have survival training" He said with a bored expression.
Iida stepped forward, confused by his teachers statment "With all do respect sir, why would we need that type of training? We'll most likely be working as heros in the city, correct?"
"While that may be true" The teacher said turning to him "we don't want other incidents like the USJ. We don't know the extent of their power, therefore we dont know where or how far they can teleport someone. And it was made clear how much you all are lacking in this type of environment at the training camp"
He continued "None of you are used to fighting in a closed off environment with obstacles everywhere you turn, that's what this training camps main objective is, to get you ready for anything. Today we have survival lessons and tomorrow we work on combat, we'll switch off between the days. That means you have two days to learn how to survive in a forest and two days to learn combat in a forest, good luck"
~~•∆(Timeskip by: Momo's delightful tea∆•~~
Everyone sat in silence waiting for their teachers instruction... And by silence I mean bakusqaud was quoting vines while Bakubro yells at them to shut up. (but with more✨𝐜𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠✨)
Dekusquad was thinking about random strategies they should use if they were ever ambushed (don't jinx it) while also thinking about what they would eat once they get back.
And the rest of the class are sitting in silence minus some mumbling about cold soba and a few poems.
At some point, in the middle of all this, Midoriya decides it's been long enough. "It seems like Aizawa sensei doesn't have any intention of helping us figure out what to do"
"I do believe it's time that we take charge of the situation." Said Iida "yeah but who?" Kirishima asked quizzically
"What do you mean? " Ojiro inquires
"Who should take charge?" You nodded at his answer
"He has a point" You started "It would be to chaotic if we all 'took charge' of ourselves."
"I vote Iida and Momo!" Hagakure beamed "They aren't the class president and vice president for nothing!" she exclaimed, running over to hug Momo's arm.
"Yeah that sounds good"
"I have no qualms with it"
"Yeah"
"I don't see why not"
"I can get behind that"
Mutual agreeance flowed over the crowd of teens in the form of nods and over exclaimed confirmation.
"Okay then" Momo said, sounding slightly nervous.
"ALL RIGHT THEN" exclaimed Iida unconsciously chopping the air, beginning to bark out a few plans and ideas.
×ו∆Timeskip by: Mina's killer moves∆•××
You walk through the trees, glancing around at the ground every once in awhile to make sure you're not skipping over any decently sized sticks.
"How many do you have so far?" You yelled out, not in any particular direction.
"Not enough" Momo yelled back, obviously preoccupied with finding sticks big enough for the fire you both were tasked with building. And by fire you mean bonfire, I mean, it is meant for about 22 people.
So you were kind of disappointed when you found out Momo couldn't use her quirk to make your jobs easier since sticks were considered living things.
You continued to walk forward until you came across a log with a few decent sized sticks protruding from the sides. You snapped them off the log, deciding what you had combined was enough, you both quickly started heading back the direction you came, hoping to get back before it gets dark.
Now, listen. The camp was generally pretty big. I mean, it IS meant for 21 students plus 1 teacher. That being said... why couldn't you find it?!?
You DID come from this direction... RIGHT???
Or.. Was it that way....oh no
"Whats wrong?" Momo walked a bit closer, noticing your hesitant steps.
"Oh nothin', just got a bit turned around" Your voice got higher, trying, and failing, to brush off her question
"Wait so...we're lost???"
"Hey! I never said 'lost'...but uh" You cleared your throat "Yes"
And that my friend... Is when panic set in. You'll never be able to graduate or even try to beat Bakugo and his damn near perfect grades!
"Um... Y/N"
Forget about being a hero! You can't even save YOUR SELF! FrOm TrEeS!
"Uhh"
I'll never be able tell her
That.. That is when you made the worst mistake of your life, you looked at her.
And saw Momo's confused, borderline sad face. You had been speaking out loud this whole time.
'Well, I was mumbling what are the chances she ACTUALLY understood what I was saying??? Maybe I could play it off?'
"Tell who what?"
'Dang it!'
You thought you were packing before? Ohh you haven't seen anything yet!
This is the WORST time to confess! It's not romantic AT ALL and your covered head to toe in sweat! And now, you either have to confess your undying love for the girl you and been borderline stalking for MONTHS! Or let her go on believing something that MY NOT EVEN BE TRUE!
You took in a sharp breath. "Well" She gestured for you to continue "There's this girl, she's smart, pretty, nice, well tempered, a good leader, and most likely WAY out of my league... " You had started rambling "A-and I kind of have a massive crush on her... "
With every word Momo's face slowly fell until she was completely looking at the ground
"Well, it sounds like you really like her"
"I do" You looked toward the sky dreamily
'Wait.She doesn't think. She couldn't really. Oh no.. '
You stopped dead in your tracks and turned toward your classmate.
There is NO WAY are you letting the classic: mIsuNDErsTAnDInG tRouPE get in the way of you possibly being able to get a date with the girl you've had a crush on for basically the whole school year!
"Momo Yaoyorozu!" You unintentionally shouted with sudden confidence. She jumped in surprise "You are the most amazing person I have had the pleasure of meeting and will no doubt become an even more amazing Hero"
You paused "I don't want to end this year knowing that I had the chance to have someone so beautiful in my life, possibly forever, and passed it up." You grabbed her hands and looked into her eyes, she was blushing... HARD.
You low key felt proud of yourself. "Momo, YOU are the girl I like. Would you please consider becoming my girlfriend?" You could feel her grip on your hands tighten.
"Do you really think I'm all those things?" She mumbled. "Of course" You answered without thinking, a confused look on your face.
"Strong, stubborn, creative," She spoke softly, gaining confidence with every word.
"good looking, encouraging, and always able to calm down a bad situation while still being able to bring energy into a room just by walking in"
"That's what you are to me." She was now looking you in the eyes. A bright smile on her face. "So when you ask me if I would consider being your girlfriend, the answer is, I already have. And there is nothing I want more"
Your eyes we're now glossed over with tears, but you didn't feel embarrassed because you could see that hers were too.
You both started to lean in and closed your eyes. Soon enough your lips met. It was as if time had stopped. As if the universe itself wanted to sit and appreciate the beautiful and unforgettable moment.
Even when you consider everything that happened that you didn't exactly enjoy. Even though you were still lost and BAKUGOU of all people was sent to find you. That was the most memorable and magical night you had ever experienced as a student of UA.
#bnha momo#momo x reader#class 1a x reader#x reader#anime x reader#character x y/n#character x reader#bnha x reader#bnha#baku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha x reader#mha x you#my hero academia x reader#baku no hero academia x reader#anime#Anime camping#momo yaoyorozu#bnha yaoyorozu#best girl#best woman
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One Night Chance. - Jeff Wittek Imagine
Title: One Night Chance.
Pairings: Jeff Wittek/Reader
Rating: R (For swears tho)
Summary: Being friends with benefits has always been fun but what about when two makes three? Also, what are the chances Y/N goes into labor at Jeff’s stand-up show?
TW: Drugs and alcohol (both lightly mentioned)
A/N: Hi y’all! Ya girl is BACK AGAIN!!! This time I have a “pre-sober” Jeff imagine! I decided to write this because I really wanted to write something pregnancy-related, a little bit of a comedy, and also something serious. If you liked this, please reblog/like! Thank you!
MY MASTERLIST
Taking a good look around Jeff’s dressing room, you started having flashbacks about what life was like eight months ago. The patron that was spilt on the carpet, reminded you of all times you and the guys would get fucked up at David’s house parties. The keef residue that was left on the table, reminded you of when you’d just be chilling in the living room with a bong in your hand, thinking life couldn’t get any better. You were so happy with your lifestyle and how much fun you’d been having. Soon enough though, life took a turn.
-Eight Months Ago-
The past few weeks had been rough. You were so tired that you almost fell asleep in the car a few times. You were so hungry, that Postmates was your new best friend. The toilet was your new home since you’d been puking and pissing a lot recently. Feeling uneasy one day and puking up a delicious breakfast burrito, you had that feeling.
Forcing yourself up from the bathroom floor, you grabbed your car keys and busted out of your apartment. Jumping into your car, you floored it to the nearest convenience store. After you parked your car, you speed walked into the store due to your heightened anxiety. As you walked down the aisles, you finally spotted the women’s health aisle. Pregnancy tests. Pregnancy tests. Where would those be. A lightbulb shot up in your head once you spotted the array of pee sticks. Shaky hands reached for the Clear Blue pregnancy tests, grabbing eight “just in case.” Going up to the counter, you hurriedly placed the tests on the counter. “Aw, sweetie. I see the anticipation. Have you been trying?” said the counter employee.
“Yes, I’m very much anticipating a little shit that’s gonna run my money dry and ruin my life,” you sarcastically said. With the employee looking shocked as hell and you already handing the cash over, you decided it was best to just leave as fast as possible. Taking the bag, you gave one of those bitchy smiles and said “have a nice day.” Fucking bitch.
Flooring it home, you nearly sprinted into your bathroom. Making sure you could provide for eight samples, you drank at least three bottles of water. After providing for each sample, you left each test on the sink counter.
You weren’t going to cry but god damn, what if you were actually pregnant… with Jeff’s baby. The two of you were only friends, who fooled around occasionally. Backtracking to how possible it could be, you started freaking yourself out even more. Jeff had been fucking you for at least three months straight so that’d be very possible. Plus, you both relied on the “reliable” pull out method.
Creeping back into the bathroom seven out of the eight tests looked like they were done. With both ends on the edge of the counter, your head slowly drooped down to look at the sticks. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant. Not Pregnant, oh I like this one. Pregnant. Suddenly, you saw the last test blinking which meant it was about to read the result. Every last bit of you wanted it to say not pregnant but it didn’t even matter at this point. Still keeping hope alive, you lifted the stick up to your face. Pregnant.
Well, the next obstacle was telling Jeff you were having his baby.
-One Week Later-
“Hey Y/N. What’s up?” His voice alone could make your heart flutter. Reconsidering if a phone call was how you wanted to do this, you erased the consideration out of your head and proceeded with the phone call. It was easier anyways, you wouldn’t be able to see the shock and disappointment on his face.
“So, I have some big news. I mean I guess not big news, small news as of now that will get bigger eventually,” you spoke really fast.
“Did ya get the job ya wanted? I know you’re only a secretary but you’ll work your way up and life will be great!” he exclaimed.
Trying not to be salty because you didn’t get the job he was talking about, you laughed it off. “I, uh-, didn’t get the job. I actually have some other news that involves you. I’m pregnant and it’s very much yours,” you blurted It out. Without hearing his response, you felt a huge weight just fall off your shoulders. Hearing a sigh come from the other end of the phone, it was soon followed by empty moments of silence.
“Are ya sure? Like are you sure that you’re pregnant? And are ya sure that you want this? Y/N, we’re in our 20s. We’re living it up and living our best lives.”
“Jeff, I am 100% pregnant. I’ll mail you out all the sticks I pissed on. You can have all water bottles I used too.” Taking a moment to think of his last question, you started to feel hot tears roll down your cheek. “I think I want this. This could be my wakeup call to cut the shit. This is my endgame... Actually, of course I want this. I think what I want to know is, do you want this? I’ll do this with or without-“
“Yes, I want this. I want you. I want this baby. I just wanted to put the ball in your court because it is your body, your choice. The idea of having a baby right now is a little frightening but maybe I need this wakeup call too. Ya know we do stupid shit. I wanna have someone to wanna come home to. I wanna have someone pop in my head every time I see ten shots lined up for me and it makes me not want to do it. With that being said. I’m down if you’re down,” he interrupted. Feeling so overwhelmed by his support and letting you have this decision just made you burst into tears.
-Eight Months Later-
Getting up to go the bathroom, which felt like the millionth time today, Jeff grabbed your hand to help lift you off that comfortable couch. “I got this,” you agitatedly said. Being almost nine months pregnant, you hated everything. You either puked or pissed yourself. The smell of certain food would throw you over the edge. Moving around got harder because your huge belly that got in the way. You also partially resented Jeff because he shot his sperm up inside of you. He was really good dealing with your mood swings though. He knew when to give you space and is very assuring about everything you do.
Walking into the bathroom, you lifted your dress up and pulled your underwear down so fast, just to make sure you didn’t piss your pants. Immediately sitting on the toilet, you could feel some pressure in your uterus from the sudden and fast movements. Placing one hand on your stomach, you said “I’m sorry, baby. Mommy’s just making sure she doesn’t spring a leak on this god-awful linoleum floor. But I just want to let you know, that you need to get the fuck out of me.” Your voice got louder every word in your last sentiment.
“Is everything okay in there?” Jeff hollered from the other side of the dressing room.
“Yes, and please shut the fuck up. I’m concentrating!” you screamed back while rolling your eyes. Sitting on the toilet, you suddenly felt a huge wave of liquid pass through you. Knowing you didn’t put any pressure like you were pissing, your first instinct was to get up and look in the toilet. You immediately wiped yourself and threw that in the toilet. Spotting a little bit of blood and few solid pieces which resembled skin, you knew it was time. The time. Feeling a wave of panic and anxiety, you flushed the toilet, washed your hands, and called Jeff over to the front of the bathroom door. With a smile on his face, he dutifully walked towards you.
“What’s up, baby? Is everything okay? Is the baby okay?” he started questioning you. He could tell from the look on your face that something was happening.
“Okay, so don’t panic. That’s my first rule okay,” you whispered, making sure no one else was going to hear the next thing. “I believe that I’m in labor but like not too sure. But I think I am.” Seeing Jeff’s eyes go wide, you immediately covered his mouth with your hand. “Don’t you fucking say anything. Help me get in the tour bus and figure this out.” Threatening him wasn’t a part of the plan and you had to do what was necessary so no one else in the room heightened the panic.
Jeff took your hand and led you through what felt like endless rooms to the cool outside. While passing by people, you painted a smile on your face. The last thing you wanted was for someone to tweet that you were in labor. This whole pregnancy, you had been scared if any information would leak. Such as if the hospital was leaked and people put two-and-two together, that fans would show up. Finally reaching the bus, he grabbed both of your hands and walked you up the bus. You went to sit down onto the couch but instantly felt a contraction. People weren’t kidding when they said contractions were a bitch. As the contraction passed through your body, you finally sat yourself down with him right next to you.
“Not to be an insensitive asshole but I also have a show in like thirty minutes but we’re also having a baby! I’m gonna look up online how to stop labor for a little bit, just to buy us time.” Never have you ever shot him such a nasty ass look. You didn’t give a flying fuck about his show, you had a baby who just received their eviction notice.
“No! You can’t just web it the fuck up and expect it to stop!” you screamed. Out of everything he could’ve said during this stressful time, he decided to say that. Feeling another contraction, you threw your head backed and moaned at the pain. Looking at Jeff, you both just knew you two were in for one hell of a night, maybe even days. If there’s one thing you two understood was that you agreed on this together and knew you two have to work together to get this baby out.
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i know you like them both so yunichika and oda/aoki for the ship ask
thank you for giving me a chance to gush about these kids!!! they’re precious.... this got pretty long so imma put it under a cut
YuniChika, the main boys of 2.43:
• when or if I started shipping it:
tbh i didn’t really ship them when i read the first book... they’re the kind of pairing that i can see people shipping and i think it’s cute, but i’m not super invested in them as a romantic pairing. I think i was more sold about them as a ship in the second book, but i can’t quite remember if there was a specific moment that made me change my mind, or if it was a gradual process
• my thoughts:
i think the anime definitely played up the tension between them (allll the blushes lol), but i’m glad people are enjoying the YuniChika content XD they’re pretty cute!
also, i think they balance each other well and spur each other to become better—Yuni and Chika are both self-centered(?) in very different ways: Yuni lacks drive because he mostly wanted to please people so they’ll like him, while Chika has the opposite problem in that he acts like he doesn’t care what people think of him.
but now Yuni is able to take a stand for his interest in volleyball and for Chika, and while Chika doesn’t really soften and still has a problem with not realizing how harsh he could be, he’s more willing to communicate his thoughts.
• what makes me happy about them:
boys reuniting! relearning how to have a relationship with one another! learning from past mistakes and trying to be better people together! HELL YEAH
• what makes me sad about them:
boys, please use your words to communicate with each other...
also, from Yuni’s perspective, it’s kinda sad when someone you used to know really well comes back into your life, but they’ve changed so much that they are essentially a different person... but of course they have a new opportunity to become closer now 😉 so i’m not that sad about it
• things done in art/fic that annoys me:
... there are fanworks for them?????????
(on a more serious note, erasing their flaws to make them more likable... please don’t make Chika ‘secretly nice’ or whatever, the kid is blunt as hell, and not realizing how his words affect others is his biggest flaw. on the other hand, Yuni can still be a little spineless at times, and sometimes his priorities are. questionable.)
• things I look for in art/fic:
hm, i’d like a future fic about them as professional players! i think their inclination is to stick together (they’re a package deal!) but it’d be super interesting to read something where they’re on rival teams years down the line
EDIT: haha Chika actually transferred to Keisei High School after their first Spring Tournament, so he and Yuni have faced each other as rivals since then (2.43 next 4years). they’re go to the same university and are on the same team now though!
• who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
uh i don’t really have specific people for this, but Chika would probably have to be with someone who understands his love of volleyball (like Oda, but if Oda wasn’t their team captain and thus too much of a dad friend to qualify as a romantic interest), and someone who can inspire Yuni would be good for him
also, i know who i’d NOT be comfy about: the first book (and anime i guess) had this weird tension between Itoko and Yuni, COUSINS who BASICALLY GREW UP TOGETHER. i think(?) their weird whatever was mostly dropped in the 2nd book and wasn’t really made explicit, but like. what the hell. (i have no idea what happens beyond the 2nd book.)
• my happily ever after for them:
the YuniChika in college arc is being serialized rn, so in a way that’s already fulfilled? (i have NO idea what’s going on tho)
in general i just hope they can play volleyball together until one or both decide not to, for whatever reason, and that they stay in each other’s lives and support each other even after they’ve retired from competitive volleyball. i think with Yuni’s personality he could be a good coach after getting more experience, and Chika... he’s really valuable as a strategist, but I think he’d always be a little brusque, so he’s respected but hard to bond with if he does take on coaching?
• what is their favorite non-sexual activity?
bold of you to assume Chika even cares about sex
anyway, they don’t go to movies for a romantic date night, they go watch volleyball matches. sometimes this backfires when Chika gets too frustrated at bad plays tho
and of course i will never pass up an opportunity to talk about Oda/Aoki, the main guys of my heart (my OTP for this series tbh):
• when or if I started shipping it:
they pinged on my radar when they were bickering in Ibara’s chapter, but i wasn’t super duper invested... and then I got to The Dog’s Perspective and the Giraffe’s Perspective (specifically The Kick™) and oh god i’ve never fallen so fast
• my thoughts:
GOD WOW Aoki really loves Oda... even though objectively Oda’s height prevents him from being a super ace, he is the coolest, strongest super ace to Aoki. i think it’s beautiful that someone can see you as your best self even when you’re feeling shitty about yourself. Aoki knows that objectively Oda faces a lot of obstacles, and wants to support him as best as he can—not out of pity (pity would’ve burned out long ago), but because he really respects Oda’s passion and drive.
also, these two have unaddressed issues that they should talk about! Oda, i know you feel inferior but you are so much better than you think you are. please accept that Aoki really does respect you, and that you are worthy of it (or like, you don’t have to be ‘’’worthy’’’’ or ‘’’’’’deserving’’’’’’’’’’ of it, because it is Aoki’s choice to support you and play volleyball with you!!! it’s not something you gotta earn, it’s something freely and happily given to you)
(ahhhhhh i die when i think of them)
• what makes me happy about them:
gosh i love their dynamic SO MUCH! Oda is exactly my type of character (passionate, determined, knowing that he can never be the best at what he’s passionate about due to factors he cannot control, trying to be kind and gracious but struggling with feelings of inferiority and jealousy, thinks of himself as a selfish person, a supporting character...) and Aoki’s devotion is really touching.
again: even when you feel like crap about yourself, there’s someone out there who thinks you’re the best thing that happened to them.
there’s also the fact that Oda thinks the world of Aoki as well (to the point of feeling inferior, which is like... c’mon Oda :/ you are better than you think you are!) he trusts Aoki a lot, despite knowing his willingness to engage in, uh, underhanded methods
• what makes me sad about them:
it’s their last year together, and they’d be approaching a new phase of their lives in different places... although Aoki offered to lower his rankings so they’d go to the same university, realistically they’ll go to different colleges, and most likely end up in different prefectures. (like, not only do i think it’s a Terrible Idea to give up your dream school so that you could stay with someone else, there is no way Oda would accept the offer without being crushed by guilt. something like that would actually ruin their relationship, which i think Aoki knows as well.)
there’s also a lot left unsaid between them at this point and i just want them to lay everything out between them and move forward together
• things done in art/fic that annoys me:
the fact that there’s NONE >:[ what does a gal have to do to get some content for them???????
• things I look for in art/fic:
at this point anything is fine.... it’s a desert out there and i’m dying
more specifically i’m Extremely Down for a get together fic; i personally only see them getting together after high school, at least several months (or even longer) studying in different prefectures and no longer able to see each other every day. (i mean... absence makes the heart grow fonder right?)
i’d also love to see Oda using Aoki’s first name, considering Aoki calls him “Shin” and all. Oda managing to surprise/fluster Aoki would be nice too.
EDIT: they’re both in the Kansai region (2.43 next 4years prologue). Oda’s revealed to be studying in Osaka, and assuming Aoki got into KyoDai, they should be around 2 hours away from each other by train? so visiting each other over short breaks would be cute! also, apparently Oda took a gap year before going to Osaka (2.43 next 4years Ch 1.2), so something set during that time would also be awesome :V
• who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
hm... if i had to imagine people well-suited to them, i’d say Aoki’s type is people who are straightforwardly passionate about their interests (Oda hooked him with his unbridled love of volleyball way back in their first year of high school after all), and I think Oda probably needs someone who is willing to indulge him a little (like Chika he can be pretty dang determined about what he wants, though without the single-minded intensity at the expense of everything else)
... this is just a roundabout way of saying i think they’re ideal for each other, especially if they resolve the problem of hiding things from the other
• my happily ever after for them:
they get careers/hobbies they enjoy, and get a place together as boyfriends/husbands. no i will not hear any criticism of this idea
i can see Aoki working in the private sector (this guy is fine with ‘joking’ about blackmail after all!) after getting his law degree. this is super self-indulgent, but given his penchant of rooting for passionate but objectively disadvantaged entities, i think it’d be pretty awesome if he works for a smaller company that truly believes in their work, instead of working at a big firm pulling in big bucks.
while I’m not sure what Oda is canonically studying, I can see him going into sports education or sports therapy—i think he’d be really good at nurturing the talents of other athletes, and he’s good at rallying the team (Aoki pretty much says he’s the heart of the team in the epilogue of the first book, though Aoki’s kiiinda biased lol). i think it’d be really cute if Oda coaches a grade school team!
neither plays volleyball competitively after high school, but sometimes they watch matches for fun (esp if their ex-teammates are playing). Oda also makes Aoki come to his students’ matches if he doesn’t have work
EDIT: apparently Oda continues competing as a wing spiker in college, playing in Kaisai’s 2nd Collegiate Division (2.43 next 4years Ch 1.2)—Aoki probably watches his matches, even when he’s busy (and Oda probably chides him for neglecting his work, but they both know Aoki can manage his workload).
• what is their favorite non-sexual activity?
hm... idk, i think they’re the kind of couple who are cool with just chilling with each other doing their own work. like, Oda planning strategies for the kids he’s coaching while Aoki reads next to him, occasionally glancing over to make comments, stuff like that
also since Oda says they mostly talked about volleyball during high school, I can kinda see them finding something new they both enjoy after they get together? Maybe shounen manga, for something fun
#2.43#2.43 anime#2.43 seiin high school boys volleyball team#2.43 seiin koukou danshi volley bu#yunichika#odaoki#replies
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it’s me, here again. with another jatp 5+1 this time it’s for flynn tho! this one comes with a special shout out to @nerdyleafeon and insteadofjust_invisible (on ao3, if you have a tumblr hmu and i’ll link it!!) for their suggestions for flynn and her putting other people first and her watching julie struggle to pick up music. i kinda tried to incorporate both?
(as a wee disclaimer: i don't think flynn has depression, i think she just pushes all her own feelings aside so often in favour of someone elses that they're bound to all come bursting out at some point. (and this is totally me projecting because i too burst into tears on my friends once because i'm terrible at expressing my own emotions) BUT if you read it as her having depression that is fine too!!and if anyone ever wants to talk because they're sad/lonely/lost/whatever, my inbox on here or discord is always open if people want to talk. bottling things up is never good, especially given the current global situation. don't be afraid to talk to someone 💕)
ANYWAY!!! it’s 5+1 flynn centric and hope people like it!!!
also on ao3 (link in replies)
trigger warnings! death mentions (because they’re ghosts (also her mother is yknow. dead)), mild swearing, references to depression.
one.
It had been an accident.
The two of them had been playing, running around the house and jumping on the sofas - even though they knew they weren’t allowed to - and throwing pillows at each other and giggling loudly. Flynn had ducked down, holding her middle as she laughed when a pillow had sailed past her left shoulder. Going off course and knocking a vase of flowers off the windowsill and smashing on the floor.
Tears had immediately started gathering in her little sister's eyes and Flynn jumped straight into action. She’d never been able to stand when someone started crying.
“It’s okay! Don’t worry, you just stay on that side of the room. I’ll get the broom,” she jumped off the sofa, biting her lip as she inspected the mess and mentally adding paper towels to her list of things to get, before turning to run out of the room.
Only to skid to a stop, eyes wide as she found her mom stood in the doorway. Arms crossed over her chest, glasses pushed up into her hair, single eyebrow raised and head tilted in the way that Flynn knew meant big trouble.
Like, no ice cream trouble.
“What’s going on here? And why is Bailey standing on the table?” Her eyes go from looking at Bailey directly to the flowers on the floor, a pool of water slowly making its way towards the rug through the obstacle course of vase shards.
Flynn knows that there’s no way to avoid or get out of this, someone is getting in trouble and getting no ice cream after dinner, and she can still see Bailey’s big scared eyes in her head. So she shifts from foot to foot and makes a split second decision without thinking about it.
“It’s my fault! We were playing and I accidentally hit the vase and I told Bailey to get on the table so she wouldn’t get hurt or her socks wet and I’m sorry! I was going to clean it up,” the words rush out of her in almost one breath and she’s panting a little at the end.
For a moment her mom just looks at her, a look that says she knows that’s not the whole truth, but Flynn doesn’t back down. She stands a little bit taller, tries to make herself seem more grown up, but being eight years old and wearing mismatched socks with a green tutu, it's hard to be taken seriously.
“It wasn’t Bailey's fault mom,” she stands by her story and, seeming to realise it, her mom just sighs, uncrossing her arms and running one over her face.
“Okay. Okay, go get the broom. And some paper towels.” She calls after her, because Flynn had heard the first ‘okay’ and started moving again, heading to the kitchen in search of tools.
When she got back to the living room her mom was kneeling next to the broken vase, carefully picking up the bigger pieces and putting them on an old magazine she’d pulled off the table while Bailey hovered on the other side of the room, her eyes still wide.
Flynn shot her a smile, hoped it was reassuring and went to help her mom. Handing paper towels over when asked and carefully picking up the flowers, one by one.
“You know this means no ice cream, don’t you?” Her mom said eventually, when the broken vase was cleared away and all that was left was a very shiny spot of wood.
Flynn looked up at her and found her mom already looking back, giving her one final chance to come clean about her sister's part in the accident, she thinks. But Flynn just nods her head, shrugging both shoulders as she holds damp tissues in both hands. Missing out on ice cream for one night is worth it if Bailey doesn’t get in trouble or start crying.
“I know. Sorry, again.” She adds, tugging her lips into a small apologetic smile. For the mess, maybe a little for lying too. Her mom just sighs, but she smiles too, brushes some of Flynn’s hair out of her face and starts to stand up.
“Go put that in the bin. And no more jumping on the sofa!”
two.
Some days, and she couldn’t explain why, were just bad days.
There wasn’t really any explanation for it, Flynn just got kind of sad.
Kind of lonely.
Kind of quiet.
It felt like her head was too loud and her heart was too empty. And there was a gaping hole in her gut and that the world was spinning on a slightly different axis to her.
Everything was just a little off balance and she needed to hold on to something to steady herself.
It was a strange feeling. Like there was too much of her and too little all at the same time.
That she wanted to curl up in her bed and cry, but that she also wanted to sit with her friends and laugh because there wasn’t really anything wrong with her.
It was the kind of day that she just couldn’t explain to anyone without sounding weird. Or like she was asking for attention. Which she wasn’t. She didn’t want people’s sympathy or attention or special treatment. She just– she was sad .
And it made no sense because she didn’t have anything to be sad about.
Her family was still whole and together, unlike Carrie’s. She knew her mom loved her, knew that her dad would be picking her up after school, knew that her sister would watch all the music videos she wanted with her. She knew that when she got home all her family would be there.
Her family weren’t scheduling their lives around doctors appointments like Julie’s. They weren’t worrying about test results or medical bills or how much time there might be for them to do all the things they wanted to do. There was no dark cloud hanging over their lives.
So how could Flynn be sad when her life wasn’t all that bad?
There was no darkness lurking in the corners of her house or quite over the breakfast table. Things were fine. Her life was happy .
And yet. It was a bad day.
It was a bad day, but Julie and Carrie were having worse days. So Flynn did what she always did. She pushed down her feelings of being too lonely, too quiet, too loud, too much. She put a smile on her face, wrapped an arm around both of the girls and made a fool proof plan of fun for the afternoon.
Her bad day would pass. It always did. And until it did she could pretend everything was fine. That she was happy. That there wasn’t anything wrong. Because there wasn’t. Not really.
three.
Flynn had never been to a funeral until the day she’d gone to Mrs Molina’s. Anytime she’d worn an all black outfit before it had been a fashion choice. Or for Halloween. Or a performance for school.
There’s a black dress that hangs in the back of her wardrobe now, and everytime she sees it, Flynn feels a little sick.
She gets the same sort of sick feeling every time she sees Julie sitting in the back of the music classroom. Eyes down, hair in front of her face, notebook unopened. The first few weeks Flynn hadn’t been too worried.
No one had really been too worried.
Because everything was still fresh and real and new. No one had pushed her. No one had thought she wouldn’t come back to music eventually.
Because she was Julie and it was music.
But then it’s been five months and Flynn is still looking at Julie, eyes on the ground, hair hiding her face, notebook in her bag. She comes into the classroom, sits in the back, shakes her head when Miss Harrison asks if she’s ready.
Flynn knows that she’s still not been in the studio garage, because she is still watering the plants, and the piano has a fine layer of dust and there’s a song still unsung on top.
Julie hasn’t played or sang or hummed a note in six months. She’s falling apart a little bit at a time.
And Flynn doesn’t know how to help.
Doesn’t know what to say or to do or how hard to push. It’s a fine line, she knows, between forcing her before she’s ready and letting the silence drag on too long. Flynn just doesn’t know where the line is.
(A part of her worries, a small part in the back of her mind that’s always ready to pop in unasked, that maybe Carrie would know what to do. Maybe Carrie, who had known Julie, had known Mrs Molina, all her life, would have been able to help in a way that Flynn isn’t.)
She’s walking into the music room one day at lunch, looking for her hat that she’s 73% sure she left on her chair when she comes to a stop in the doorway. Because Julie is sitting at the piano, the lid up and her fingers hovering over the keys. There’s a furrow between the other girls eyes and even from this distance Flynn can see there are tears running down her cheeks.
Flynn bites her lip and backs out of the room. Her hat will still be there later and this isn’t a time to push Julie.
By month seven when even Miss Harrisons patients is starting to wear a little thin, Flynn starts to make plans. Ways to help Julie play again. Or even listen to music again.
She decides to start small.
A walk along the beach where she knew that busker Julie liked always played.
Maybe they’d stop by that little music shop on the way home because Flynn needed to pick up some new strings.
Maybe drop some hints about a band they both liked going on tour.
Without even realising it Julie will be surrounded by music again and realise how much she misses it.
“Come to the beach with me on Saturday?” It’s the first thing she says when she sits down at lunch. Julie looks up from her sandwich, brows drawn together but there’s a hint of a smile.
“Do I have a choice?”
“Nope!” Flynn pops the ‘p’ and smiles wide (she’s making up for all the half smiles and no smiles that Julie gives out these days, she makes hers bigger, wider, gives them out more often. She knows when things get better Julie will repay the favour), stealing a few grapes from the plate in front of Julie and popping them in her mouth.
“Guess I’ll see you at the beach on Saturday then.”
The day starts out good.
They lounge round the beach, build terrible sandcastles and laugh at the tourists trying to take artistic shots in front of the sea. Then, at exactly 12:15 the busker arrives and sets up, starts playing his usual list of classic 80’s and early 2000’s bops. Flynn nods her head along with one of her favourites and watches from the corner of her eye as Julie gets a far away look in her eyes, fingers stilling where they’d been running through the sand.
They stay for a little longer, the busker playing through three songs before Julie lets out a shaky breath and turns to look at her, eyes a little watery but smiling that half smile she’s gotten so good at.
“Lunch?” She asks, head tilting and pointing over her shoulder in the vague direction of their favourite lunch spot.
“Sure. Oh! Hey, I need to stop by a store on the way, is that okay?”
“That’s fine,” and Julie is already stuffing her towel in her bag and dusting sand off her shorts.
They’re half a block away from the store when Julie seems to realise just where they’re headed, and Flynn can tell because her steps seem to get a little slower and her fingers clutch at her bag a little tighter. By the time they’re stood outside the little second hand music shop – Ron’s Relic Records, they’d never met Ron himself, but his record collection was definitely full of relic’s as far as Flynn could tell – Julie’s fingers have grown pale from where she’s holding her bag strap and her lip is clamped between her teeth.
“I’m– I’ll wait out here. Don’t want to drag sand through Ron’s,” Julie bites her lip, eyes looking up at the worn sign of the store and avoiding the old posters and ticket stubs displayed on the windows. Flynn swallows the sigh she wants to let out, and stops herself from commenting how there’s already sand covering the carpet. Instead she nods and gives her friend a thumbs up.
“Sure! I’ll be quick!”
Ten minutes later and Flynn is exiting the shop to find Julie leaning against the wall with her eyes staring straight ahead.
So maybe the music store hadn’t gone exactly as planned, but that was okay, Flynn had more plans, more tricks, more ideas. Shouldering her bag and plastering a smile on her face she comes to a stop next to Julie.
“Okay, lunch now!” And they start walking, idly small talk that feels awkward and Flynn doesn’t know how to fix that either. “You’ll never guess what I saw in the shop, you remember th–” but Julie cuts her off before she can even finish her sentence or her master plans can be put into action.
“Flynn I think I’m gonna head home. Not feeling too great.”
Flynn knows she’s lying, can see it in her eyes. Julie has always been a terrible liar, her face gives everything away, and normally Flynn is always glad to see her try, unless she’s lying to her. Then she just finds it rude.
“Are–” Flynn starts, but cuts herself off when she looks at Julie properly. At the red eyes, the chapped lips, the death like grip she has on her bag.
It’s possible, Flynn rationalises, that she’s pushed too hard today. She wants Julie to find joy in music again, but she doesn’t want to force it. So she takes a deep breath and links their arms together, squeezing her forearm.
“Okay. Hey, do you think your dad will make us pancakes, since we’ve not had lunch?”
“Probably,” Julie nods, her voice a little quiet but Flynn’s pretty sure she can hear the relief in it too. Relief that Flynn isn’t going to make her talk, relief that she can go home and that Flynn is coming too, relief that for now, the subject of music is being paused.
It’s only been seven months after all, Flynn doesn’t think you can put a timetable on something like this. So she’ll keep trying and supporting and holding her hand.
One day, Julie Molina will play again, and Flynn is going to be there to see it.
four.
The thing is, after seeing Julie and her ghosts perform, Flynn realises that there’s something special about them.
And it’s more than just the fact that they got her to sing again after a whole year of silence. It's more than the chemistry that is undeniable between Julie and Luke. It’s more than the way people have flocked to support them.
They’ve made her smile again. Really, truly, fully smile. Wide and happy and full of light in a way that Flynn hasn’t seen her smile in well over a year.
(They’ve got her to sing and play and smile in less than a month when Flynn hadn’t even managed to get a hum in a year. She’s trying not to think about that.)
So yeah, they might be ghosts.
And they can’t be seen without Julie or playing music.
And sure there’s the whole ‘can’t touch anyone’ thing.
And being in their band means Julie is off the market, music wise.
But Julie is smiling and singing and writing songs and playing again. And if the price of that is Double Trouble being left behind, well, Flynn supposes she can deal with that.
Even if it sucks.
Because Double Trouble, it was going to be their thing . They were going to be amazing and spectacular and way better than Dirty Candi. They were going to write awesome songs and produce the coolest music videos and tour all around the world.
Double Trouble had been the dream since they were six years old.
A part of her, a small yet loud part of her, was shouting about how unfair it all was. That Carrie could be a bitch to them but still have a kickass group. That Julie could not play for a year but somehow stumble into a ready made band with ready made chemistry.
And what did Flynn get? Nothing.
The leftover scraps of a childhood dream.
She’s not sure what to do with the scraps either. Does she put them together and hope there’s enough left for a solo act? Hope she can take the concept and find her own band? Hope that maybe one day the ghosts will pass on and Double Trouble can raise from the ashes?
Okay, so that last hope was mean and maybe a little dark. She didn’t want to get her band with Julie just because she’d lost three people important to her.
The thoughts nag at her for days, though. The what if’s and the hopes and the mean thoughts. She’s outside the garage, trying to push them into the back of her mind and put on a smile for when she walks in there. She can already hear the faint sounds of instruments tuning and then the low murmur of voices joining.
“Is Flynn coming today? She was going to show me how that Ticking Tok thing worked.'' That was Reggie’s voice, she could tell (when had she learnt to tell their voices apart anyway?). And there, faintly but becoming stronger she could hear Luke replying.
“She said she was, right? Because I’ve got this cool new song idea I want her to look at, there’s this part in the chorus that I think she’d be perfect for.”
Flynn thinks he says something else, she can hear Julie replying, Alex laughing. But she can’t make out any of the words because she’s so caught up on the idea that they were waiting for her.
That they wanted her help with something, had plans that involved her.
And she remembers then, that there’s something magical about Julie and her boys. And that maybe Double Trouble wasn’t meant to be, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t part of the band.
In fact it made her a pretty important part of the band, given that she was one of two people who could actually be seen by people all the time. Plus, she was the only one with any kind of social media following, so really, they would be lost without her.
This time, when she puts a smile on her face it doesn’t feel forced and she suddenly feels more relaxed then she has in weeks.
Pushing open the doors Flynn is greeted by Alex sitting at his drums as Luke waves a notebook at him while he plucks idly at the strings of his guitar and Julie has her phone out, trying to explain something to Reggie that just has him looking confused.
“I’m here, the party can begin!” She declares, grinning at them even as she flips her hair over one shoulder. And they grin at her, all four of them and Flynn feels bad for ever hoping for a day that the three ghosts would pass over.
five.
Flynn isn’t trusting by nature. She’s careful with who she loves and lets into her heart. Not out of any real past hurt or trauma, she’s just cautious.
She has to be cautious, because Julie opens her heart – and home, apparently – to anyone. She’s trusting and forgiving and so damn kind that Flynn, well, Flynn has to keep her guard up in case it all falls apart.
It’s why she’s always got an eye on the way Luke looks at Julie when he thinks no one is watching – and it’s awfully handy that they’re becoming visible and tangible randomly now, because she can keep an even better eye on things – and it’s not because Flynn thinks he has bad intentions.
But he’s a ghost and Julie isn’t, and if someone is getting hurt badly in this scenario it’s going to be Julie.
And Flynn made a promise a long time ago that she’d not let Julie get hurt if she can help it. She couldn’t stop the pain when her mom died and she couldn’t help when music seemed to leave her and she couldn’t halt any of the tears when Carrie said what she said.
But maybe she could stop an impending heartbreak before it got too bad. And then they played The Orpheum and could be touched and sometimes seen and Flynn really got to know them and realised that a heartbreak was coming one way or another. She couldn't protect Julie from that.
She could, however, protect her from Carrie.
Julie might have been able to take Carrie’s apology, her peace offering, her attempts at making amends and forgive. But Flynn still remembers crawling under the covers with Julie, the two of them crying and holding hands and whispering all their worries. Mrs Molina had been there to help pick up the pieces, to hug them and make them laugh and blow off steam with loud music.
There’s no Mrs Molina now, and Mr Molina has always tried to find the middle ground in their fights, even when they were kids and now Carrie is sitting across from her at the dining room table while they wait for the others.
They look at each other, neither wanting to be the first to look away, to break eye contact. It’s awkward in a way that Flynn rarely feels awkward.
Because she doesn’t know what to say.
Because she doesn’t know how to act.
Because she doesn’t know how Julie can let go of the past so easily despite knowing everything that she does.
Carrie spent two and half years being a total bitch to them both. Rude and obnoxious and unhelpful at every turn. Like they hadn’t been friends for nearly ten years when she’d brought it crashing down around them.
“You’re staying for the rehearsal?” Flynn forces the question past her lips, tries for civil and polite and making an effort. Because Julie has tried to forgive her and they were friends once, best friends, and maybe there’s a chance they can be something like that again.
“Julie said it was okay. There was a song they wanted to show me? I think Luke said it one my dad stole, but they perform it better.” And she says it so casually ‘one my dad stole’, like it’s no big deal that he profited off of stolen work, that Flynn has to clench her jaw to keep from saying something mean.
She’s glad she does, because then she notices the way Carrie is fiddling with the edge of the table cloth, the way she’s lowered her gaze and, when she replays the words, the way she stuttered, just a little on the word ‘dad’ .
So maybe Carrie has changed, Flynn decides. Or maybe change is the wrong way to put it, maybe she’s just reverted back.
Back to when they were thirteen and over excited and jumping around her living room until Flynn’s mom had come in to tell them off, Carrie had dropped immediately, eyes down cast and biting her lip.
Back to when they were ten and Julie’s mom had dropped them both off at school and Carrie had been sad and she’d told her hesitantly about how her mom had left .
Back to when they were six and the first thing anyone said to her on her first day of school was that ‘I like your bag! Do you want to be friends?’ and Carrie has pulled her over to where Julie was colouring on the floor.
“It’s probably because they have so much time to practice. They’re so lucky, not having to go to school,” it’s an attempt at a joke, small and only half true. But it’s an offering.
Flynn’s eyes are still on Carrie so she notices the moment the other girl looks up, the slight sparkle in her gaze and the way her lips twitch, just a little. Accepting the offering.
“I mean, they are dead, I’m not sure that’s considered lucky.”
And then they’re talking, bantering, laughing. The conversation is a little stiled sometimes, a little awkward in the words unsaid. But it’s a conversation.
Flynn hasn’t forgiven her, not the way Julie has, not the way the boys seem to have. Because Flynn can still remember all the pain that Carrie had caused and she’s not ready to forgive her of that just yet. But she’s willing to try. For Julie. For Carrie. Even a little for herself.
So she pushes all her anger down and talks to her ex-best friend. But she keeps her guard up, because she let Carrie in once and it ended in ruin and she’s not about to be the fool who let it happen twice.
+one.
She’s not sure what happens. One minute she’s going about her day, school and homework and deciding if posting the new Julie and the Phantoms youtube video should be now or at the weekend, and yeah she’s not having a good day, but she doesn’t think it’s a bad day either. Nothing strange or unexpected happens. It’s just– it’s a day.
And yet. One second she’s fine, the next she’s crying.
She’s sitting on the sofa in the studio garage, waiting for Julie to finish with her own homework, idly scrolling through her phone when Alex poofs in with Luke hot on his heels.
He’s smiling, happy and excited after a date with Willie from what she can gather. He’s talking so fast and hands waving in the air and Luke is watching it all with an easy smile and occasional nod. Luke sits himself down next to her (bumping his shoulder against hers because they can do that now apparently at will and it’s only a little strange, knowing she’s sitting so close to a ghost she can feel the heat coming from him, and how is this boy always so warm when he’s dead ?), shooting her a wink as he turns his attention back to Alex and Flynn can’t help but smile, eyebrows raising as she too watches the blonde.
Flynn doesn’t know if she’s ever seen him so excited. So at ease.
“–and he just, he jumped right over this bench! It was so cool Luke, he’s so cool! He tried to show me how to– Oh! Hey Flynn,” Alex cuts himself off, finally seeming to notice that she’s sat there and gives her an awkward wave with his hand that’s still half up in the air.
“Hey Alex, good date, huh?” She can’t help but tease him a little, wagging her eyebrows and pulling her lips into a sly smile. And then Alex is blushing, scratching at the back of his neck and avoiding her eyes, making noncommittal sounds. She would be worried she’d said something wrong but she can feel Luke laughing next to her.
“It was uh– yeah, yeah a good date,” he’s biting his lip and still not looking at her, but Flynn can see a small smile trying to tug at his lips as he turns away, pretending to find something in the jumble of clothes piled next to the piano.
“It was their first ‘official’ date,” Luke whispers next to her, his eyes still trained on Alex’s back and there’s such joy in his words that Flynn can feel herself tearing up.
And she doesn’t know why this sets her off.
Why seeing Alex, coming back from his first official date with another ghost, so happy and full of excitement, and seeing the way Luke is just radiating joy for his friends happiness.
Why this sets her off crying.
One second she’s fine, the next she’s sobbing and Alex is spinning around so fast his hat falls off and Luke is gaping at her in a kind of horror that might be funny any other time.
“I– I–” She tries to say something, but she can’t get the words past her lips. They keep getting stuck in her throat as another sob tears through her and her eyes are blurred by tears and her hands are shaking, she knows that because her phone slips from between her fingers, making a soft thud on the rug.
“Go get Julie,” she thinks that’s Alex, she can’t quite tell. But she can hear the tell tale sign of a ghost poofing out and then a pair of arms and carefully wrapping around her shoulders and she’s crying into a denim jacket. So, Alex then, definitely Alex.
“Hey, hey it’s okay. Shush, it’s okay,” he keeps saying it over and over, his voice gentle and calm and Flynn lets herself cry. She hears the door open, hears feet rushing in, hears someone let out a soft gasp.
“What happened?” And that’s Julie, Flynn would know Julie’s voice anywhere. It’s a bit like a beacon, a light source in the dark, she could hear Julie’s voice and follow it home. Lifting her head up from where it’s been resting on Alex’s shoulder she tries to spot her friend and doesn't have to look far because Julie is crouching in front of her, concern all over her face and wide eyes.
It just makes Flynn cry harder.
Because she doesn’t want to upset her friend. She doesn’t want her to worry or panic or think that there’s something wrong. Because there’s not. Nothing is wrong. Her life is perfectly fine. And yet she’s crying uncontrollably on a sofa into a ghosts shoulder.
There’s an awkward moment where Alex gets up and she’s left alone on the sofa and her head feels like it’s going to fall and then Julie is there, and her arms are around her and she’s letting Flynn collapse on her.
Holding her up and together. Just the way Flynn has always tried to hold her up and together.
She doesn’t know how long she cries for.
When she finally gets some control over her own emotions, her eyes, her breathing, Flynn lets out a long and shaky breath. There’s a wet patch on Julie’s jumper, and she knows her face must be a mess of mascara and eyeliner.
Julie passes her a tissue, waits until she’s wiped her face as best she can, and then exchanges it for a bottle of water. Flynn drinks and keeps her eyes closed the whole time.
“Where–” She croaks out, throat still sore from crying and she swallows, opens her mouth to try again but Julie seems to know what she’s trying to ask.
“I sent them inside to help Carlos with his maths homework. Reggie is surprisingly good with numbers,” there’s a teasing tone in her voice and Flynn doesn’t have to be looking at her to know there’s a smile on her face too.
They sit in silence for a while, Flynn drinking her water, Julie passing her tissues, a question hanging in the air.
“I just–” Flynn starts, takes a deep breath and squeezes her eyes shut. She’s not sure how to even explain any of this. She doesn’t even really know why she started crying. When she opens her eyes again and blows out a breath, she shuffles back a little from Julie so she can pull her legs up onto the sofa and cross them under her. Through it all Julie sits patiently and waits. Flynn almost wants to cry again.
“Sometimes, and I mean, like rarely. It’s not a big deal or anything. And mom took me to the doctors and they said it wasn’t a big deal either so, it’s just. Y’know. It’s just that– that sometimes I get sad. That the world gets too much and I’m just– I’m not enough. For the world. Or you,” she shrugs, fingers pulling apart the tissue in her hands and looking somewhere over Julie’s left shoulder. “And it makes no sense really, because nothing all that bad has happened to me, y’know? There’s nothing really for me to be sad about.”
She can see Julie opening her mouth, her eyes widening and getting ready to say something but Flynn stops her, finally making eye contact again and shaking her head quickly.
“No, no don’t. It’s true. Because I haven’t lost my mom and my family is happy and Bailey always covers for me if I spill soda all over the floor and I’m not dead unlike three people we know. My life is fine . But sometimes I just– I just get sad, Jules. And normally it’s fine, it passes and every things fine. And then today, Alex was just, he was so happy y’know? And so was Luke. And they’re dead, but they’re out there, being happy ! And I’m alive and I just felt so sad today and it’s stupid because there’s nothing to be sad about .”
Flynn doesn’t think anything she just said made sense, but it’s too late to take any of it back now. The words are out in the world and Julie heard them all. Dropping her head into her hands Flynn lets out a groan, her fingers gripping on to her braids and pulling lightly. And then Julie’s hands are on top of hers and gently detangling her fingers until she’s holding her hands.
“Flynn, look at me,” her voice is gentle, holding the tone that she usually reserves for when Carlos comes home sad about losing a baseball game. It’s also the tone that she knows no one can say no to. So Flynn lifts her head, shaking it a little as she looks at her best friend.
“Your feelings are a big deal Flynn. And it’s not stupid. You can’t help the way you feel, it’s okay to feel sad,” Julie squeezes her hand slightly, lets one go so she can wipe at tears Flynn hadn’t even noticed were falling again. “Just because you haven’t– you don’t have to have some big tragic event in your life to deserve to be sad. You’re allowed to just...be.”
“But–” Flynn starts, though she’s not sure what she wants to say, which is maybe for the best because Julie cuts her off by grabbing her other hand again and pulling both up to place a kiss on her knuckles.
“No buts. If you want to be sad, you can be sad. But you have to tell us, otherwise– we can’t help if we don’t know Flynn. And as funny as Luke’s reactions are when he sees a girl crying, I’d rather it just be when our favourite character dies on a tv show, not because you’ve burst into tears out here.”
And that startles a laugh out of her, a little watery and raspy, but it’s a laugh and she smiles at Julie, this time squeezing her hands.
“He really doesn’t know how to handle a crying girl does he?”
“No! He’s so dramatic about it too–” If Julie was going to say anything else it was cut off by the sound of someone letting out an indigent ‘hey!’ and then three ghosts were standing in front of the sofa, Alex and Reggie holding back laughter while Luke was wearing his frowny-pouty face, arms crossed.
“We weren’t listening, but that’s just rude! I so do know how to handle it when people cry!”
It starts an argument, about twenty-five years without a hug and sneaking into rooms when they were teenagers and how he’d been the first to hug Julie after The Orpheum. But Flynn is only half listening, because Julie is still holding her hands, and Alex has nudged her out of the way so he can sit down on her other side and Luke and Reggie have brought their little discussion closer.
She’s surrounded by them all, and yeah it’s still a bad day but maybe she doesn’t have to handle them alone anymore.
#julie and the phantoms#flynn jatp#julie molina#carrie wilson#luke patterson#alex jatp#reggie jatp#jatp#rosie vs writing#*#*fics
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Melting My Heart (Part Three)
Author’s Note: If anyone wants to be added to the tag list for this let me know. Happy to do it for anyone!
(Katsuki Bakugou x Reader)
Summary: The fireball with the attitude has one weakness, Y/N. When she’s the only thing that can break through his cold appearance around the other students, he starts to learn that being the best... isn’t the only thing out there.
AO3 Link
Part One, Part Two
Part Three:
Word Count: 2025
With the exams for UA High coming up Katsuki was training constantly. Our backyard was beginning to look like a war zone, craters littered the ground as he used his explosions to blow holes and then fill them back in, just to blast them back up again. I stepped into the backyard and smelt the familiar smell of caramel, Katsuki had to be working pretty hard if the sweet sweat smell was as strong as it is. When the sliding door to the backyard shut and I stepped out Katsuki paused and looked up at me, he was knelt over, out of breath. I walked over to him and he stood up straight, wiping some of the sweat from his forehead.
I smiled at him. “You’re still training Kacchan?”
He put his hand into a fist. “I have to be the best that I can be. I can’t afford to screw up, I have everything riding on this exam.”
“You’re going to do fine, I know you will. You’re quirk is amazing, there’s not much you can’t do Kacchan. You’ve always been one to succeed.”
He smiled a little at me and wrapped his arms around the back of my neck, pulling me into a hug. “I know, but I’ve got to push myself. How else am I going to make my queen’s life the best that it could possibly be?”
I chuckled and breathed in the sweet caramel smell once again. I knew he would make it, and he knew he would too, but he didn’t want to leave any room for error. “I’m going to see my dad today. He wants to talk to me more, wants to get to know his daughter a little more.”
Katsuki kissed the side of my head. “That’s good. How are you feeling about the whole thing?”
“I still don’t really know. I’m glad that I found him, I’m glad that he’s in my life, but it’s still just so sudden.”
“Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted tho?” He started stretching again, getting ready to start more training.
“It is, but it’s just not something I expected to have happen to me before the exam. What if it hinders me? I’m so unfocused lately. I don’t know how to snap myself out of this. I know it’s not his fault, it’s not like he knew that I was planning on taking the exam, but it still sucks. You know what I mean?”
“I know what you mean, but you know I’m going to be here to support you or pick up the pieces, whatever happens, I’m always going to be your crutch when you need it.”
I smiled weakly at him. “I know Kacchan.”
* * * * * *
I stepped into the doorway of the nearest coffee shop and looked around. I spotted the long black hair of Shouta Aizawa at a table near the window. I took a deep breath and slowly walked over to him. He waved when he saw me and smiled. I sat across from him and took in the moment. He pointed toward the cashier. “Do you want a coffee? Tea?”
“Coffee sounds fine.” I told him what I wanted and he stood, heading to the cash register to order for me. When he came back and handed me the coffee it felt almost surreal. I had grown up with a mother who seemed, at times, like she didn’t even care about me, and a father that I had never known. I had always been told that my father had never wanted anything to do with me, that he was a deadbeat, but here he was now… trying to have a relationship with me.
Shouta sat down across from me again and started to talk to me. “I know it’s probably still a little awkward for you, maybe even still completely uncomfortable for you, but I hope that’s something we can get over soon.” He smiled hopefully.
“It’s not that it’s awkward or uncomfortable, it’s just a little overwhelming for me. I’ve always wanted to know you, my whole life I’ve wanted to know who my father was. I always wanted to know where I got my quirk from.”
Shock took over his face. “Your quirk? Does that mean you got my quirk?”
“I got both you and mom’s quirk. It was a weird medical fluke. Most kids just get a combination of the two, or they get one or the other. I was lucky enough to get both of them.”
“Wow… I never realized how good it would feel to know that my daughter would have my quirk, something I could pass down. Not that you don’t already look like my daughter. We could be twins for heaven’s sake.”
I smiled thinking about it, putting the two of us next to each other you could definitely tell we were related. Same black hair, same tired eyes due to our quirks, same mannerisms. It felt so odd, but I loved every little thing I was learning about him… about my father.”
“So who are you staying with? If you don’t mind me asking anyway.”
“I’m staying with my boyfriend and his parents. They took me in when mom kicked me out, they couldn’t believe that mom had done it. Mom and his parents had known each other for a long time, we’ve been friends since we were little kids.”
Shouta leaned back in his chair, protective dad written all over his face already. “What’s your boyfriend’s name?”
“Katsuki.” I chuckled, I liked the thought of him being protective. “Katsuki Bakugou.”
He leaned forward again. “The boy that was just on the news the other day with the slime monster? The boy he had hostage?”
“Yea. That’s him.”
“He’s got an amazingly strong quirk. I haven’t seen one like that in a long time. He treats you well I hope.”
“Like a queen, trust me.”
“Good.” He leaned back again, relaxing more.
* * * * * *
The morning of the exam came faster than we thought it would. I had never seen Katsuki so nervous, yet so calm at the same time. As we walked up to the school we saw none other than Izuku Midoryia walking in front of us. I smiled at him as he turned around to greet us. “Kacchan, Y/N, good morning.”
Katsuki ignored him and continued to walk. “Get out of my way now, before I set you on fire.”
I smacked his arm and let go of his hand. “Good morning Izuku!”
Izuku still looked thrown aback by Katsuki’s comment and didn’t say anything. I waved to him and followed after Katsuki.
Katsuki wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked. “Why do you bother with that guy? He’s useless.”
I frowned at him. “He’s not useless Kacchan, leave him alone. If he wants to try to get into UA High then let him do it, he’s not hurting anyone.”
Katsuki huffed and looked forward again. As we made our way closer to the door kids were making comments about Katsuki and the slime monster, setting him into a bad mood, he didn’t want to be known for that. He wanted to be known for being the number one hero. We walked into the auditorium for the exam orientation portion of the day and took our seats. Izuku sat next to us and a man with blonde hair that I recognized came onto the stage.
The Pro-Hero Present Mic stood before us. “What’s up UA candidates? Thanks for tuning in to me, your school DJ. Come on and let me hear you!” He threw his hands in the air and stared at all of us.” We were all silent as we watched him. “Keeping it mellow, huh? That’s fine, I’ll skip straight to the main show. Let’s talk about how this practical exam is going to go down, okay? Are you ready!?”
Izuku was gushing next to us about Present Mic. Katsuki looked over at him and glared. “Will you shut up?” I elbowed his side.
“Like your application said, today you rockin boys and girls will be out there conducting ten minute mock battles in super hip urban settings. After I drop the mic here you’ll head to your specified battle setting.”
Katsuki, Izuku, and I looked down at our cards we had gotten upon entry to the auditorium and looked at the letters on them.
Katsuki spoke up. “I see what they’re doing, they’re splitting us up so we can’t work with any of our friends.” Izuku had battle center B while Katsuki and I had battle center A, surprised they hadn’t noticed our address being the same and split us up. Our exam numbers were all consecutive, yet they split us from Izuku.
Katsuki looked over at Izuku. “Get your eyes off my card.” Izuku leaned back a little, stunned by his words. “Damn, I was really looking forward to crushing you.”
Izuku laughed nervously as Present Mic spoke again. “Okay, okay, let’s check out your targets.” Three different robot monsters popped up on the screen in front of us. “There are three different types of villains in every battle center. You earn points based on their level of difficulty, so you better choose wisely. Your goal in this trial is to use your quirk to earn points by shredding these villains like a mid song guitar solo! But check it, make sure you’re keeping things heroic. Attacking other examinees is a UA no-no. You dig?”
A young man in front of us stood up and interrupted. “Excuse me sir?” We all turned to him. “But I have a question.”
“Hit me.”
A spotlight opened on the young boy. “On the print out you’ve listed four types of villains, not three.” He pointed to the paper and looked very serious. “With all respect, if this is an error on official UA materials it is shameful.” He put his hand to his chest in a fist. “We are exemplary students, we expect the best from Japan’s most notable school. A mistake such as this won’t do.” He turned toward Katsuki, Izuku, and I and pointed straight at Izuku. “Additionally, you with the unkempt hair, and the girl beside him, you’ve been muttering this entire time. Stop that.”
Izuku looked worried, but I shrugged it off. What a buzz kill? Who peed in his cereal?
He continued while Izuku looked around, worried. “If you can’t take this seriously then leave. You’re distracting the rest of us.”
Katsuki started to stand up to defend my honor, but I pulled him back down to his seat.
“Alright, alright, let’s settle down. Examinee number 7111, thanks for calling in with your request.” The forth villain on our paper popped in on the screen. “The fourth villain type is worth zero points. That guys just an obstacle we’ll be throwing in your way. There’s one in every battle center. THink of it as a hurdle you should try to avoid. It’s not that it can’t be beaten, but there’s kind of no point. I recommend my listeners try to ignore it and focus on the ones topping the charts.”
The young boy bowed to him. “Thank you very much, please continue.” He sat down and the spotlight turned off.
“That’s all I’ve got for you today, I’ll sign off with a little present. It’s a sample of our school motto. As General Napoleon Bonaparte once laid down, a true hero is one who overcomes life's misfortunes. Now that’s a tasty soundbite. Are you ready to go beyond? Let’s hear a plus ultra!” In big letters on the screen behind him ‘Plus Ultra’ popped up. “Good luck, hope you practiced hitting more than just books.”
I looked over at Katsuki and we both raised a fist, nodding. “We’re in the same battle center. What do you think about working as a team?”
Katsuki had never been one to work with other people, but when it came to me, he could never say no. He smiled dastardly, “You got it my queen, let’s take down every single one of these losers and show them what we’re made of.”
Taglist 💕 @wwwwyamd
Part Four, Part Five, Part Six
Updated: 5/8/2020
#katsuki#bakugou#bakugo#katsuki bakugou#katsuki bakugo#katsuki bakugou imagines#katsuki bakugo imagines#katsuki bakugou fanfic#katsuki bakugo fanfic#katsuki bakugou fanfiction#katsuki bakugo fanfiction#bakugo fanfic#bakugou fanfic#bakugo imagines#bakugou imagines#katsuki imagines#katsuki fanfic#katsuki fanfiction#katsuki x reader#katsukixreader#bakugou x reader#bakugouxreader#bakugo x reader#bakugoxreader#katsuki bakugou x reader#katsukibakugouxreader#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsukibakugoxreader#my hero academia fanfic#melting my heart
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(Made up bit heavily inspired by bit with much much better women’s rights) In England late mediveal or early renaissance time, how would I put a bridge on a very large and wide river that large ships like cogs and big carraks can get under? I’d like to keep to that time period as closely as possible (but with different women’s rights) but I realised I need big carraks and cogs to go up a river I need many bridges on. Would swing bridges do? What would those be made of in those times? Stone?Wood?
eGood to know! Presuming a world without magic...if it's late medieval / early renaissance, just use drawbridges.
Understand that your boats will have to be smaller than most seagoing vessels. However,that doesn't mean they cannot be quite useful, and it doesn't mean they cannot be sailboats; they can! They just need to be more slender and shorter--not just to navigate between the central support pillars for said drawbridges, but also simply to navigate the twists and turns of any river.
This particular scene from the BBC's Edwardian Farm series has an example of just such a boat: https://youtu.be/obIWqJlxniY?t=1030 You should watch it, even though they're actually just discussing using quicklime to neutralize the acidity of the local soils, and how they're importing coal for use in burning in the lime kilns.
The most important feature of the scene for our discussion is how it shows the size of cargo ship that would sail up a slow, calm river. The various boats that sailed up and down the Yangtze River, the Nile, Hudson River, the Mississippi, the gazillion waterways of the Amazon and more, all of these had a lot of river-based commerce. Even the canals of Angkor Wat had a great deal of commerce via boat.
In some cases, such as at Angkor Wat, they would have had stevedores (dockworkers) standing by at bridge causeways that boats couldn't cross. These workers would literally offload cargo from one canal boat, carry it a few yards across the street to the next canal's boat, load it there, and send it on its way along a different canal system. (You'd have to see how the roads and canals at Angkor Wat were built to understand this system.) In other locations, they would have boat-pontoons serving as a floating bridge that could be unlashed and moved out of the way so that cargo ships could cross, and there would often be regular times for these switchups to occur.
But if you're dealing with late medieval / renaissance levels of ingenuity, then winches, gears, capistans, etc, would all be a part of their canal system, with broad, stoutly made drawbridges being drawn up and lowered down at regular points in the day.
Some of these pulley systems could be animal-powered (horse, mule, oxen, whatever), or it could be a wheel that a man would walk along, kind of like a hamster wheel, such as the kind found here: https://youtu.be/s46qP1l39V8?t=628 Though it's a long zoom in, you can see toward the end there are actual humans inside thos wheels, walking slowly to raise and lower whatever needs to get up to the building site. A drawbridge system would be no different.
You can also use folding masts. Since you're not dealing with a specific real-world place-and-time, you can borrow from other eras and traditions, including ancient historical methods, such as the bipod mast: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bipod_mast These were used as far back as the 3rd millenium BCE to sail up and down the Nile...which admittedly didn't have bridges to sail under, but the stability of the bipod mast made it easy to lay it down without overbalancing the ship.
With some clever hinges and pulleys and gears, a Renaissance shipmaster could make a system that would allow the sails to be quickly brought down...though to maintain forward motion when going upstream, they'd probably have to pay a lining service a fee to line the ship upstream. Here's an example of how to line a canoe upstream along a river from Far North Bushcraft And Survival: https://youtu.be/ZQ7940-M5mM
This is literally the same system used to maneuver canal barges upstream (and down!), powered by horsepower, literal horses, donkeys, mules, oxen, etc. This particular scene from the Victorian Farm series shows one such canal barge being used to deliver a load of coal, as they would've done in the Victorian era: https://youtu.be/Ccjyt7BQEVU?t=1374 In the scene, they talk about how it's "...a fly boat, going day and night; they change out the horses..." to indicate that these were in constant use. You can see how there's a path built under the bridge for the horse to walk along.
The barge would be manned and steered in most cases, since that's easier than doing it manually by the two-line method, but they'd still probably have two lines on the boat in most instances, in case the helmsman fell asleep, or there was a change in the current, etc. There would also be strict "lanes" for upstream versus downstream traffic, ideally with walkways on each side so as to keep the lines from tangling--this would be in use in areas with really flat slow/sluggish water, not enough room to use galley oars, not enough room to set sails, yet you still want your cargo to head downstream at more than a snail's pace with the natural current (ideal for big cities).
Small barges could also be poled like the gondolae of Venice, but again, that's small barges, since there's only so much effort poling can manage before it becomes nigh impossible not only to get up to speed, but also to slow down to make a turn, to stop, etc. So consider if your river is slow, if it's a series of canals, how many bridges there are, what sort of workforce there might be for loading & unloading, and for portaging.
To portage is to go around an obstacle that a boat (of whatever size) cannot safely manage. The most famous portages were done by the voyageurs of the fur trade in Canada, where they'd come upon a stretch of rapids too dangerous to traverse or have to leave the river they're on to go in the direction they need to get to the next river or lake system, etc. At that point, the fur trappers/canoers would get out, offload their cargo, and carry it and their canoes--sometimes for miles!--to the next navigable stretch of water...and most cases they'd have to set up camp when they got there, then go back for everything that got left behind, and haul all of that to the new spot.
In many cases in the wilderness, they'd leave 1-2 behind to guard said provisions, etc, either at the offloading site or the final destination site. But if you're dealing with a civilized/settled area, they wouldn't necessarily have to do that, but might instead arrange passage with wagoners / caravaners, the people who got paid to transport river-shipped goods between two points overland.
There are also the possibilities for canal locks (the ancient Romans had a precursor to the system we know of today) as well, but it honestly depends on how much that region has decided to put in the effort to dig and construct and manage them. If it's wealthy, has a history of innovation, and/or relies heavily upon river commerce, then it's quite possible. But most likely, drawbridges and folding masts are going to be ideal.
Just remember that those ships and masts are not going to be designed to withstand open-ocean travel or hurricane force winds, nor to carry hundreds of tons. River ships are not going to be the same as ocean or sea going vessels. For example:
"During the time of King Philip II's reign (1556-98), the Spanish galleon increased in size and capacity. For example, while the earlier galleons had capacities for 120 toneladas (Spanish tons), the post-1560 galleons tended to cross thresholds of 330 toneladas." (https://www.realmofhistory.com/2019/06/07/galleon-spanish-warship-facts/ )
Or: "...a typical American barge measures 195 by 35 feet (59.4 m × 10.7 m), and can carry up to about 1,500 short tons (1,400 t) of cargo." (from the entry on Barges, Wikipedia)
These might seem like good resources, but those galleons are oceanic vessels far too large and/or deeply drafted for river navigation, and those barges are modern ones meant for the lower Mississippi River. The latter are also powered by engines, not by wind, oar, or musclepower (animals or humans lining the boat along the riverbank).
Unless your river is huge--at which point ferries will be your ideal method of crossing, rather than bridges--your river-running ships will be small, sleek, relatively shallow drafted, will most likely have collapsing sails, oars for windless days, ropes for lining (even if their own crew has to do it), so on and so forth.
...You can still have bridges without drawbridges, if your river runs through a canyon deep enough that the bridge will clear the masts naturally, or your engineers invest in long, long, long ramps leading up to and over the central arch spanning the deepest part of the river...and invest in lots of riprap (rocks specifically placed for lining the banks of the river to prevent erosion, etc). Unfortunately, most rivers flowing through canyons flow too fast and hard to make good safe transportation routes...and really tall bridges exhaust humans and animals alike in passing over them, so...it's not very likely.
One last consideration: the river itself. Here is a snippet of a video I took when I had the opportunity to go on a Rhein River Cruise (Viking Cruiseline). The cruisehip is docked. It is not moving.
The Rhein really does flow this fast (up near Switzerland, iirc, but all throughout the trip as well), and it only slowed down somewhat at certain points. The banks in the city zones (and even much of the countryside) are lined with riprap (stones fitted and cemented into place to control the river flow and prevent erosion), and yes, there were a few canal locks along the route. A lot of that riprap was laid in earlier centuries, some of it late renaissance (and much of it repaired since then).
We were warned that if there was a lot of rain during our trip (this trip took place in May) causing a lot of runoff to flow into the river, there was a bridge downstream (near the Netherlands) where we might actually have to disembark from this ship literally cross the street for that bridge, and get onto another cruise ship on the downstream side of the bridge. Why? Because if the river level rose too much, this ship would not be able to cross under that bridge.
Now, the ship's top deck was disassembled to pass under other bridges. It literally had awnings and roofs on hinges that could be lowered to as flat as possible...and yet there was still a bridge they knew they couldn't pass under if the river level rose too high. Even with modern tech, etc, there will be obstacles like this.
So consider that for your rivers and your commerce. In spring and autumn, the water might run too high, perhaps even too wild, for safe & easy river travel. Portaging might be the answer. Or your characters might be crossing over the bridge which has an angry river crew arguing with the city guard about why they can't take their ship under the bridge (because it could damage the bridge, it's the wrong season, etc).
...You can also have droughts (oftentimes in high summer) which could cause the river to become too shallow for boats to pass in certain sections, or they'll have to lighten their cargo to avoid getting mired in the mud, etc.
And if your story is set in a region with cold winters, snow, ice, etc...the river might freeze. This poses a whole host of transportation problems, but then transport wasn't often done in the depths of winter, save maybe for foods brought from the storage barns of local farms. If the rivers don't freeze over, water travel is still possible, though hypothermia is still a danger.
If they freeze only a little bit, still possible...but once the ice gets thick along the edges, it becomes dangerous to try to "cut" through the ice with a boat of any size. This can include ice that is too thick to get the boat close enough to shore to exchange cargo and/or passengers, but also the possibility of ice actually damaging a ship's hull.
And of course merely walking on the ice is sheer danger, unless you know exactly what to look for, how deep it needs to be, etc, to be crossed safely--the idyllic picture of the Dutch ice skating along their canals doesn't cover the fact that many people fell through the ice because they hit a stretch that was too thin to support their weight. Certainly history doesn't tell us exactly how many perished, though logic assures us that many surely did--either idiots who didn't check the ice depth, or who were young and recklessly brave enough to be foolhardy, an unexpected warming of the water coming downstream thinning out the ice in a specific spot in the channel, etc, etc, etc.
River boat crews would be aware of such potential dangers, and would not want to travel in icy conditions if it was at all avoidable. Which brings us to living on a riverboat, and how to keep warm in winter when the hull is literally in constant contact with icy cold water...but that's another discussion entirely. If the canals are in constant use, the water "might not" freeze over because it'd be constantly disturbed by the passage of all those boats...but it also could, especially if a bad winter storm shut down travel for a few days.
Mostly, river boats would be lifted out of the water if at all possible before the river iced over (which the locals would know about). Why? Because ice expands, and it would expand horizontally into those hulls, cracking them. Water and ice are incredibly powerful forces that we often underestimate. This means that winter is the time when boats would be brought ashore, tipped onto their sides, the hulls scraped free of river mussels and barnacles and whatnot, sections would be repaired, the hulls re-tarred, and other maintenance issues tended to.
If river commerce slows or stops in the winter due to ice issues, then you'll have wagons and/or sleighs, etc, bringing in the goods...but again, your horses or other draft animals will have a harder time working in cold weather. Your cities will therefore want most of their goods brought into the city's storehouses before winter falls, if it's an area with harsh winters.
If they're just rainy and wet and miserable for the most part (*cough* the greater Seattle region (*cough*)...then flooding will be your biggest concern. If it's a region with seasonal droughts & monsoons...you could have a whole host of problems, but you'd also probably want retention ponds and lakes to help keep the river flowing--fill them up in the stormy season and let out some of that water in the dry season to keep the river at a hopefully passable depth.
Bridges (and drawbridges), boats, and rivers are all part and parcel with the equation.
One more thing, if your local region is building a bridge in the story (a common occurrence in the renaissance in many towns), it doesn't have to be a part of the story directly, but can be mentioned second-hand, like one of your characters can say, "avoid the Baker's Bridge--remember, they're doing repairwork on it."
If this is a thing you want to toss into the story (it makes your town feel alive, a growing and changing thing, without having to go into exhaustive detail), then remember that the architects will have hopefully taken all the shipping and transportation needs into account...but that section of the river or canal will be blocked by scaffolding, requiring everyone to portage around it. If it is a river split in two by an island, or it's a canal shooting off from or paralleling the main river, you'll still be able to have commerce up and down the river, but it will cause that river travel to be thicker and more prone to clogs, blockages, accidents, arguments, etc.
These are little details you can put into your story to give your world more depth without having to go into exhaustive detail.
Good luck, and I hope at least some of that helped!
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🌸Bnha //Heroes cry too// HEADCANON🌸
Characters: Todoroki Shoto, Bakugo Katsuki
Summary: Basically just these two cutiepies crying :(
A/N: I made this before I watched the episode where Izuku cries and Todoroki says it‘s ok to cry even as a hero. Seems like Horikoshi and I share the same opinion ^^. Also i was way to lazy to finish it up with Midoriya‘s part so please forgive me🥺🤲
Enjoy!
____________
Todoroki:
🥶🥵 Your boyfriend Todoroki visited you in your dorm room as usual, watching you get ready for bed.
🥶🥵 He sat next to you, while you were looking in the small mirror, smearing all kinds of skin care products on your face
🥶🥵 Even if he always told you, you don't any off those products, because you're already beautiful, he was very interested. Not just because of you, but more, because he was looking for something, to help him with his insecurity. Todoroki eagerly grabbed a few tubes here and there, reading the packeging to know what the things you use are exactly for. Although one explenation didn't really satisfy his cluelessnes.
🥶🥵,,Y/N, what is this thing here for?, he asked holding a tube towards you.
🥶🥵,,That's a hella expensive Trinique acne scar ointment. It's supposed to help scars to fade away. I'm not really sure if it works tho.'', you explained, as you turned to the white and red haired boy, who scanned the tube in his hands.
🥶🥵 It was silent for a second. You continued your little routine, not further thinking about it.
🥶🥵 ,,Do you thnk, it'll make that thing in my face go away?'', he suddendly asked, dropping his head a little bit
🥶🥵 Surprised you tensed up not sure what to say. You knew the burn mark his mother gave him, made your Boyfreind really insecure. Not because he thought it looked bad, it was more because of him constantly being reminded about his past. Reminded about the pain and struggle he had to go through. It was a very sensitive topic, as why you knew not to talk about it, unless he wanted to.
🥶🥵 You sighed saddly, as you turned to Todoroki, who kept the tube tightly in his hands. A small tear rolled down his cheek, landing on the tube.
🥶🥵,,Listen to me, Shoto'', you said with a soft but serious voice, placing your hands on each of his thighs ,,You wanna know something?'' He stayed silent, waiting for you to continue.
🥶🥵,,As much as you might hate the scar on your eye, I love it. I love it so much, you might think. I'm dumb. Since the very first moment I acknowledged the mark, I knew you were a fighter. I could see you've been through up's and down's but nobody was able to stop you from being who you wanted to be. Your mark subconsciously works as sign to all the people, who like to say stupid stuff like ,,Oh he has major perks, because he's Endeavor‘s son'', telling them ,,No, I fought my ass up here with my own strengh, no matter what obstacle I had to face.''. In my eyes this thing in your face is a beauty mark, a trophy, only a strong fighter and hero could proudly wear. This mark is your daily reminder, telling you wehere you started from and how much you had to take in to truly deserve where you‘re at right now. And your journey will surley continue! Wear this mark with pride, because that's what I am. I am proud of you Shoto."
🥶🥵 His Body was shaky and tensed. You could hear him whimper, trying to hold back the tears, before he jumps into your arms, thightly grabbing the back of your shirt.
🥶🥵 You rubbed his back assuring him everything was alright, as you listen to him leaving small sobs into the crook of your neck.
🥶🥵 You rest in this psoition for a while you soon offering him to sleep in your dorm for the night
🥶🥵 You two cuddled yourselves up in your bed, sharing each others body warmth, before you fell asleep.
🥶🥵Although before you drift off into your dream world you feel a small kiss being placed on your forhead followed by a small whisper ,,Thank you so much Y/N. Thank you for everything."
🥶🥵 Too weak to answer, you just smiled satisfied, knowing he wouln't see it anyway, before completely losing conciousness, as yo finally fell asleep.
Bakugo:
💥,,I TOLD YOU NOT TO FUCKING TALK TO HER, DEKU!''
💥 Bakugo yanked you by your arm towards him, making you squeal in surprise.
💥,,Ouch, Suki! Are you crazy? Why are you acting like that?''
💥 You sent a excusing look towards Midorya, who responded with a weak smile, before Bakugo pulled you to his room without a word, lightly pushing you inside.
💥,,Katsuki, what the hell is wrong with you, huh? I know you dislike Midoriya a lot, but there was no need to be so agressive towards me!''
💥,,I told you not to be around him so much, baka!''
💥,,I only congratulated him really quick, because he got his temporary hero license! No need for you to go off like that."
💥 Bakugou stared at cold to the floor. His sudden calm behaviour even scared you a little.
💥,,His liscense, huh? Isn't it always the fucking same? Deku here, Deku there! Even All Might is sucking on his tiddy. HE PISSES ME OFF SO MUCH!'', he screames kicking his books to the floor. ,,HOW THE FUCK DID HE DO THAT? WHAT MAKES HIM THINK HE'S BETTER THAN ME? WHAT EVEN MAKES HIM BETTER , THAT ALL MIGHT PICKS THIS WEAKLING OVER ME?''', he continues outbursting, as he fell on his knees supporting himself with his hands on the floor. He looked weak and exhausted, what terrefied you a lot.
💥You've heard Bakugo complain about Midoriya Kun a lot before, but it was never to this extend. You can hear him heavy breathing, on the edge to loose all the control over himself and cry. But Bakugo is way too stubborn and proud, just to expose his weakness to another person like this.
💥Worried you rush towards him, kneeling across from him, as you muster the ash blonde eccentric. Yeah, he is probably super upset about Midoriya, but you knew there must've been something else tearing the young hero apart from the insie.
💥You lightly pull his head into your arms, his forehead resting against your shoulder
💥,,What the fuck am I doing wrong? If I only was stronger back then, our symbol off peace would still be alive. My symbol of peace. My hero. I fucking killed All Might and I will never forgive myself for that", he mumbles against your shirt, as you felt him fighting back the tears.
💥,,You should know, that you are in fact very strong. Strong for letting me know about how you feel, although feelings aren't something you like to talk about. Katsuki, you are one of the strongest and most dedicated people I've ever seen. You never let anybody stop you from chasing after what you desire the most and end up reaching your goal.‘‘, you paused while gently caressing his head. Bakugo didn‘t say anything, making clear he wanted you to continue, ,, I mean look at me, I hated you the most but you made me a soft dumpling for you", you giggled, feeling Bakugou sliding his arms ournd your waist. ,,I won't try to tell you something, All Might didn't tell you already, but I am assuring you that you're nowhere near weak! You are my hero, Katsuki. Please never forget that.''
💥Tears build up in your eyes, as he let's out a scream of frustration and pain. Your heart was aching because you knew that the oh so confident and strong boy you loved more than anything was paining so much, without you knowing it.
💥,,I'm so sorry, that you had to bear this all alone, Suki'', you mumlble against his hair. Minutes passed of you guys resting in this position as you soon felt him calming down under your grip.
💥You playfully placed a thick kiss against his cheek releasing a loud ,,Mwah'' just to see jokingly wipe it away in disgust.
💥,,I thing heroes deserve a little more than lame ass cheek kisses'', he grins cockily as if nothin ever happened.
#boku no hero academia#bnha midoriya#mha izuku#mha x reader#bnha headcanons#my hero academia#boku no hero manga#bnha spoilers#mha bakugo katsuki#bnha todoroki#todoroki shouto#bnha bakugo katsuki#bnha deku
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