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lorbanery · 5 months

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Listen

I'd never heard of most of the people mentioned in Hbomberguy's video either! It doesn't prove I'm smarter or more discerning than folks who had watched their videos, or that I can't be taken in by grifters.

All it actually proves is that their videos either never got pushed onto my recommended page, or their titles/thumbnails didn't spark my interest.

But you know whose videos did interest me? Illuminaughty's. That's right, I'd been following Illuminaughty for a couple of years up until the day video exposes started popping up on my recommended list.

I like to consider myself relatively good at spotting and avoiding scam artists. But I just never clocked Illuminaughty. Part of it was because, with very few exceptions, I don't like to engage with Youtubers outside of their main Youtube content. I don't follow people on social media, I don't join discord servers, I don't even generally watch personal/life update videos, because I don't like feeding that parasocial monster. So I didn't even see the whole mess on Twitter that started the subsequent rockslide.

But part of it was that ... I just didn't notice the red flags that Hbomberguy pointed out! He, someone who is very familiar with how to research and how to properly use and cite sources, saw things like unattributed quotes flashed on screen and vague statements about when and where quotes were found and they stood out to him. But I just don't have that background or experience. I was one of those people who fell for the tactics that HBG exposed as ways Illuminaughty covered up and suggested that there was more original content in her videos than there actually was.

Part of it was also that I just ... let slide the relatively small red flags I did notice. HBG mentioned her massive source lists — I remember thinking more than once that a massive list of sources like that would be way too much for anyone to actually sift through. But it was good that she was included sources at all, right? Or just how many flubs she has in her voice overs. Some people just don't have the time patience to edit those out or rerecord, though! And sure when she stumbles on a name it's almost like it's the first time she's come across that name despite having supposedly done all this research, but also some people are just bad at name pronunciations.

You know, I even followed Cruel World Happy Mind for a while around the same time (I unfollowed her before this for a wholly different reason, and while I've watched her videos about Illuminaughty because they shared important information, I won't be refollowing her). I remember when she posted that video where she talks about an issue she had with a mysterious other, larger creator over fan accusations of copying. Apparently a lot of other folks had been able to figure out that she'd been talking about Illuminaughty. I had no clue.

Everyone is susceptible to being lied to. Because that's what happened here to viewers at the end of the day. They were lied to about who had actually authored the writing in those videos. We're all susceptible to it! No matter how smart or discerning you think you are. You have blind spots, you have subjects you're don't actually know that much about. And we are all inclined to trust people when they present themselves as knowledgable, because most people aren't lying about that.

And that's not a bad thing! It doesn't make you stupid or naive to trust people when they say they know what they're talking about.

This shit happens. It's always happened, it's always going to happen.

The solution isn't never be taken in by a liar. The solution is gathering information when someone you trusted is accused of lying, of being open to the possibility, of not taking it as a personal slight against you and acting accordingly.

Because that's the other thing: It's not about you. It's not a test to see how smart or naive you are. It's a wrong that's been committed. The only person who did anything wrong is the person who stole and lied. Not the people who were lied to.

You've been given information because it's important. These people have harmed the people they stole from. You have the information now, not so that you can use it as a cudgel against people who had supported them, or will having missed this whole dustup; but so that you can make the decision to not or stop supporting them. So that you have more tools to identify plagiarists in the future.

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thedovahcat · 10 months

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Gorillas and Computing

Don’t remember when the last update was.

I think I mentioned I have to put off school till next year because of money reasons?

Either way, to reiterate then for my own sake, I ended up joining that CS50x class Harvard is offering for free online so I have something to study/do in the meantime until Spring 2024.

I’m realizing how good it was that I started with Java on my own back in April (I only jumped into CS50 in the middle of this month of June) because boy, coming in COLD to these sort of subjects is no easy or laughing matter. I’ve normally not submersed myself in such technical fields before, considering my artist degree background. Which, in and of itself is kind of funny because I don’t consider myself the most creative artsy person there was. Now I can legally blame the autism for having me most often side with logic and technicality and what have you, even if I don’t seem that way on the outside.

But still, rolling back a bit, immersing yourself in this totally different world is definitely not something I am used to.

The first week was making a program with Scratch, a bit difficult at first until I started to get the hang of things. Project went really well, made a cute lil’ shooty game.

Second week introduced us to programming in C. And getting used to the syntax and all its little quirks ‘ stuff.

This week we’re going over arrays, which was about where I stopped in Java so from this point on I’ll be going into it blindly.

On arrays, yes I do understand what they are and how they’re used, but I’m finding that typing out parameters and what it is I want to happen in specific loops and such- that’s proving to be the real kicker. Was really struggling with a project yesterday and ultimately gave up and had to look at the answers. Felt real bad about it, even though I’ve only been doing this for 2 months. Not a lot of time at all.

I get a bit disillusioned when I read people who are much younger than me mastering this stuff (allegedly) in like 6 months to a year, there’s just no way that’s possible. There’s SO much stuff to learn and practice, like... Unless they’re up for 14+ hours a day doing ONLY coding and not having a life (not that I am but I believe in this thing called work-life balance) then maybe I can see them being farther than me in about a year’s span or some months.

But, what they don’t have is job experience. I do. I have to remember that all this memorization and stuff I need to do for school, while yes it will help at a job, a job doesn’t give a hoot how you did something as long as it’s done correctly and well enough. Or at least it was that way at my last job, I suspect it can’t be much different in other places honestly.

Moving back to this project I felt I failed on, anyway, studied it as much as I could until I understand what exactly the code was doing, because I figured that would be much better than me copying the answer and then NOT understanding it. Fast forward to today, another project with some similar characteristics that they want.

Actually sat down and wrote out pseudocode of what I wanted the program to do which helped me organize my thoughts. I suppose it’s not unusual to kind of know what you want in your head initially. You just don’t sort out all the particulars and such until you’re actually writing the code itself. Anyway, I wrote that out, then got started implementing what I believed the program would need. Things got WAY too complicated too quickly but because I built enough to see visually for myself, I felt more comfortable googling how to do certain things, rather than look at the Discord and see what everyone else was doing.

Even then, implementing google answers doesn’t mean things are automatically going to work. So that forced me to go over the code some more and really start working on all the separate pieces one by one. Slowly things began to click into place and I understood faster what it was I was doing, or what I had left to do.

I can happily say I completed the project and got everything working as intended. Printed it out on paper and stuck it in my notebook after writing many many notes explaining what each thing does for my own sake. But, looking at it zoomed out now... The code looks so simple and short. I really didn’t need to over-complicate things in the beginning like I did (too bad I didn’t save that first iteration). That’s a habit I tend to have. I make things harder than they need to be at first because I don’t really understand something or what I’m doing. But, once I get it, then things go a lot smoother.

Everyone’s probably like that though with some things! Just a lil’ observation I had about myself is all. Thinking back to my first days as a graphic designer and how they were essentially the same. It would take me hours to do something in a very convoluted way, but only a year or two later I was zooming along. Knew all the shortcuts, knew easier ways to do things.

I can’t wait till I start having moments like that with this programming stuff. Yes I know you’re never truly finished learning, but it’ll be soooo nice when I hit that point to where I can think and translate what I want onto the page a lot faster. And it’ll be much more efficient.

That’s about it for now. June’s already over. This year is halfway over. We don’t have OFMD season 2, I have a trip to Dallas in July I’m super excited for, and I can study and exist at a mostly leisurely pace right now. I’ll enjoy it while I can :)

....

Already getting college nightmares and the like anyhow. Eughhh.

#math and gorillas #nothing bad i just do life updates #all my friends get to have live playbyplay as it happens #yall get summarized

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husbandohunter · 3 years

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May I request a Childe X Reader fanfic where the reader has been pushing herself too hard lately and so Childe has to forcefully get her to rest? ty

By my side [Childe x Reader]//Genshin Impact

Synopsis: You were an artist and he was an adventurer. Two people from vast backgrounds and Childe just wants to spend some time of his busy life with you. However, things didn't really go his way...at first.

(Childe x F!reader. Its all fluff)

(A/n): Perfect request anon. I too, would like to have a Childe in my life. Been getting 5-6 hours of sleep on average 😃😁. Yeah kind tossed some extra ideas with artist s/o, its a perfect reason for anyone to be busy.

============================

Once recieving the permission to take a week off from his diplomatic duties, the first thing Childe thought of was none other than his lovely significant other.

The harbinger knew quite well what lays ahead of his ventures to Liyue. During his quest for the archon's gnosis, he encountered many interesting events, such as meeting the rumoured traveller hailing from afar and a broke yet courteous man who turned out to be the ultimate ruler of this very country he walks upon then there was the battle against a dead god until he revived it using the sigil of permission. All of them were great additions to his story as Ajax the hero, something he always wanted to pursue since childhood. In which, also gave him something nice to write about when preparing letters for his siblings living back home. But little did the harbinger know that he'll one day bump into the heroine. A little too soon. Through your little art shop, he met you, a sweet and audacious woman with plenty of humour. That was how it all began.

While he strides down the streets between Liyue's exquisite buildings, Childe suddenly stops in his tracks and looks up to the sky. There, was painted a scenery of an evening dusk, sun rays relfected across until red and orange hues cast a river stream that led to the ends of the world. He watched the birds follow that streak like it was a path made for them to fly towards. A new adventure. You would have loved to captured this in your pictures.

And then he wonders, what might you be painting right now?

"Hey babe, I'm home~"

In a sing-song voice he calls out to you by your nick-name. You knew that Childe was an active member of the Fatui and that his time was limited, hence he made sure to write to you as well. Of course long distant relationships only makes the waiting more anticipated. When he does pay a visit, you'd run straight into his open arms, leaping off your feet to engulf him in one enourmous embrace. Then his hands will hold against your waist as he spins your round and around in the air, stealing the laughter out of your lungs before planting you back on the floor. Sometimes Childe would consider that being far away wasn't be such a bad idea as long as he was able to experience this, the harder the battle, the sweeter the victory. However...

"That's great."

He was met by a response similar to the wintry grace of Snezhnaya.

Huh?

All the fantasies he had from earlier shatters in the background as he stands there frozen. You didn't even spare a glance to the entrance, eyes still glued to the large canvas displayed at your front, too busy to even care. Childe clicks his tongue between the awkward silence with an uncertain expression. When there was no signs of initiation on your part, he shuffled his way to where you were and observes from behind.

"Well you're particularly quiet today," he muses to himself, placing a hand over his hip, "I guess that painting of yours must be really important then."

It was obvious that he was trying to nudge you into his favour. Something that you've found endearing was how quickly your boyfriend can be when he's in a needy state. So you quickly twisted over to peck him on the cheek before going back to work.

"That's better," Childe satisfiedly grins, "So who is this project for?"

"It's a commission requested by a wealthy family serving the Qixing. They're really influential in terms of the market and can really give me a competitive edge. I have to get it done in five days."

His tone flactuates as he squints his eyes, "Five days you say," he disliked the news of your schedule taking over his own, Childe only managed to take a week off and after that, he'll be away for quite some time, "Why don't you take a break? From the looks of your progress, it seems to me that you've been working on it for hours. I've got plenty of interesting stories to tell and you know, nothing can compare to sharing a warm meal within your company," he leans down to your ear level, "How does that sound?"

Several seconds went by as he waits for some sort of reaction, "Oh. Right," you blurted out and the harbinger only smiles, "I made some food earlier this morning. You can go help yourself if you're hungry."

Today was not his day.

Childe pulls out the wooden chair and slumps into the seat, a defeated huff escaping his mouth as he stared at the crystal shrimp placed on the table. It was hastily wrapped by plastic, most likely cold for a while, just like the romantic evening he had planned in his head. Normally you'll be sitting on the otherside while listening to the many tales he went through along the way. Although painting was your passion, it was undeniable that you also enjoyed his kind of lifestyle if you ever had the choice. He was rather surprised on how someone ambitious like him would end up with such a simplistic person but quickly accepted it as life was meant to be unpredictable, just the way he likes it. As Childe entertains you with his stories, he'll listen to your giggles amidst eating the homecooked meals that you both prepared together.

"I wonder if she ate already," he mumbled to his lone self. You most likely did but Childe knows you well. Artists are obsessed and they can go as far as to neglecting their own health for the sake of their masterpieces. Hence, he made sure to remind you to eat properly through the letters he wrote to you.

The harbinger takes a quick glance around the kitchen. It was a mess. The cupboards were slightly opened, metal pots were still displayed on the stone stove and the stench coming from the sink....

Childe pushes himsel up to see what was the cause.

Not even the dishes were washed.

Running his fingers through his bangs, he sighs wearily, "Old habits die hard huh?" And above all else, when artists are obsessed they also forget how disorganized they can become. Childe begins to roll up his sleeves before taking off his gloves. At times like this he'll have to pitch in and take care of it for you, "Looks like I'll be here for a while."

Throughout three sunsets and three moonrises, Childe had no option but to observe you from afar, minus the few attempts he made to regain your attention again. How you would go to bed much later than him, waking up before he opens his eyes and the effort he put into making your food only left with too many leftovers. It wasn't that you were unappreciative, instead, your mind had become too focused that your body was considered a second priority. Like anyone else, Childe genuinely thought you possessed great talent and supports you wholeheartedly. He loved it when you painted pictures just for him as if they were scenes coming out of his hero story, reminded by his adventures, capturing every detail. However he also needed to learn how to deal with this stubborn side of yours.

"Hey babe, I just finished preparing our dinner. Don't you smell that? Such a rich aroma, you should go eat."

"I'm busy."

Your diet were just small bites, the rest being substituted by coffee. Childe could clearly tell that you weren't getting enough sleep either as there were dark circles forming underneath your eyes and slowly, he was starting to become a little irritated.

Three hours passed midnight but you were still awake in the same place doing the same thing. Childe leans against the doorframe with arms folded, already changed into his sleeping clothes. He clears his throat to break the silence, "Ahem."

Your wrist hangs in mid air by the sound of a strange visitor, it was your boyfriend. Gaze in a daze, you lazily turned your head, "What time is it?"

"Way passed the sleeping hours as you can see," he points with his thumb at the table clock in a half-hearted manner, "You should already be in bed by now and don't think you can coax yourself out of the situation this time," his eyes parted in slits as he added with a smile, "Otherwise I might just have to force you myself."

You shook your head, "Give me one more hour? There's some finishing touches I really want to add so," clasping your hands together, you beamed sweetly, "Pretty please? I'll finish up soon."

"Oh really?" Childe challenges, head tossed back like he was interrogating you instead, "I believe that was also what you told me yesterday. And the day before? Adding up all of those days that would be.....four in total?" He deliberately counts upon his fingers before facing you again, this time his expression was slightly more serious, "As much as I find your determination remarkable, there are moments when you need to consider a sufficient amount of rest and this just isn't going to cut it."

"Four days already?!" You exclaimed, "Jeez, I don't even know if I'm halfway done."

Pressing his lips together, Childe glares in an acutely deadpanned countenance, it was also his time too, "Can't you ask this commissioner to extend your due date to next week? In your case, mora shouldn't be the issue since, well...you're dating me anyways."

It's true. Childe was the main reason why you didn't have to live as a starving artist. He had all your expenses fully covered from the marketing aspect to your residence, you simply chose to work out of pure will.

"I don't want to always rely on you so much," you confessed, "This commissioner could turn my whole career around. If I'm able to gain his favour, maybe I'll get promoted to a court painter for the Qixing! Who knows when there will ever be a chance like this again," pumping your fists, you spoke purposefully, "I'll pull an all nighters if I have to!"

Childe brings his hand to his forehead, you looked as if you were nearly about to collapse and yet still considering the option of an all-nighters? The harbinger should've detained you days prior before.

"Hm? Childe, what's wrong?" He suddenly falls deadly quiet and you watched him walk closer towards you, "What are--"

Hooking an arm behind your knees and the other at your back, your boyfriend lifts you up in one full swoop as he tossed you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Guess we'll have to do things the hard way," he remarks cheerfully.

"W-Wait," you flailed your arms and kicked your legs but to no avail. Childe was an experienced combatant indeed, "Put me down! I have work to do."

Your protests fall upon deaf ears as the harbinger carries you to your room. You were oddly lighter than the last time he carried you, the strength less vigor than before, it was obvious that your body was in need of relaxation. He suddenly thinks there was a possibility that you would maintain this habit while he was absent.

I should probably visit more often.

Using his free leg to nudge the door open, he places you upon the shared bed in a gentle manner. You winced at the impact of the soft sheets, surprised by how much it affect you.

"There we go. All done. Man, you really are a stubborn one, aren't you. Makes me a little worried since I can't spoil you all the time."

He quickly invited himself to the empty space on your bedside and wrapped his arms around your figure, pulling you close and feeling you whole. Childe made sure there was no escape once putting his chin above your hairline so that you could feel his warmth as much as possible.

"This is--" you stuttered. His tactic was enough to make your limbs soften and you could almost hear him smirk into the distance, "This is cheating..."

"You think so?" He comments as if pledging innocence, "I don't know babe. Where I come from those who take the initiative are the ones who end up claiming the prize," pulling back, Childe takes the opportunity to observe your pouty face, "I don't make the rules. It's just how it goes."

You wanted to argue back but he suddenly took the bedsheets and covered both of your bodies with, completely trapping you with his presence. He snuggles into you further as if you were a bear made of linen and you felt the drowsiness taking over your mind. The way he gently pats down the back of your head was enough to instantly lull you into a deep sleep.

"Cheater," you mumbled.

He laughs softly, the rumbles emitting through his chest, "I love you too babe."

Even after you've let go of your resistance, Childe continues his actions until he was sure that you were resting. He had been longing to touch you like this since living a chaotic life only made peaceful moments much sweeter, "You're such a hard-worker you know that? I'm proud of you but you have to know when to call it a day," he whispers, "If not, how can I go on trips while knowing that you're still refusing to eat properly?"

You closed your eyes and said nothing in return. All your senses were too cloudy to come up with a reassuring response. Childe listens to the way your breath evens as you intake his scent during the process. It smelled like the soap you used in the showers, lotus leaves mixed with his own unique musk. You could only focus on him. His comforting embrace. His slightly accelerating heartbeat because you were together with him.

Letting out one final yawn, you succumbed to his spell and allowed your energy to drift away.

The corners of his lips tug upwards, "Sleep well princess."

Childe reaches over to your desk drawer and shuts off the alarm clock before turning over to face you again. He couldn't fall asleep immediately, not when he had to consider taking care of the commissioner who gave you an impossible deadline. But that will be saved for another day, for now, he observes in silent serenity.

If he were to quit his job for a year, what would his life be like?

Peaceful. Something opposite of what he was living right now. Something similar to the life he had back home. As you arrange the many paintings in your little home, he'll offer to help you among the places you couldn't reach. Without a doubt, Childe was far taller in comparison. Taking strolls into the streets and trying the new dishes the merchants came up with. Then in the evenings, you'll both go to dinner dates while listening to the storyteller revealing the rumours of the legendary Tianquan Qixing. Although Childe loved the adventurous life he led, he had to admit that your domesticity and family-bringing atmosphere was a tempting idea.

Maybe one day.

He lightly takes a strand that had fallen over your nose and tucked it smoothly behind your ear. The soft snores coming out of your parted lips caused his gaze to melt. And so he steals them with his own, placing a chaste goodnight kiss.

One day I'll be sure to bring my family here with us.

Closing his eyes, he joins you in your slumber, hoping to see all that he envisioned in his dreams.

#genshin impact #childe x reader #childe genshin impact #genshin childe #childe #tartaglia x reader #tartaglia #genshin impact childe #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin #genshin x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin scenarios #genshin headcanons

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donutdrawsthings · 3 years

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NO THIS POST IS NOT A DISCUSSION FORUM. EITHER KEEP SCROLLING OR VIBE WITH THE REST OF US

I thought I had already been clear on what my stance was on the matter, but after today I feel like I need to yell it off the top of my lungs. I SUPPORT ROETVEEG PIET AND BLM. LISTEN TO BLACK VOICES AND ACKNOWLEDGE YOUR WRONGS.

(Information about the Dutch holiday and why it’s racist under the cut! includes extern sources and images!)

Summary

Sinterklaas is a Dutch tradition that starts at the first Saturday after 11 November and ends at 5 December. A figure called Sint Nicholaas comes on a boat from Spain to the Netherlands to celebrate his birthday on the 5th with his little helpers, the Zwarte Pieten. The Zwarte Pieten give candy to the kids and on the 5th kids get a gift from Sinterklaas.

The Racism (Black Pete)

All sounds fairly innocent, until you see what the Zwarte Pieten look like.

These are the traditional Zwarte Pieten (it translates to Black Petes btw). These individuals are usually played by white people and are purposely darkened to black with red lipstick, black curly hair and sometimes golden earrings. I have always been told the dark skin was to represent “soot” from the chimneys, however, up until recent years there was no effort made to actually appear as smeared. In fact, a lot of effort was put into making sure not a single speck of light skin was visible because that could ruin the illusion. (the illusion being, hiding your identity behind blackface.)

These characters are also played to be playful, hyperactive, carefree, happy to do their work and often praise Sinterklaas himself. Which are all traits often depicted alongside the “happy slave” stereotype from way back when and the S*mbo stereotype.

other racist depictions are also on display in stores and houses (often on display near a window for kids to see) in the form of little Black Petes, most of them resembling the G*lliw*g. (first image is a common window prop during Sinterklaas, the second image is the racist G*lliw*g)

This very outdated depiction of black people only really started being questioned in the early 2010′s. However, support for questioning Black Pete only started to become somewhat acceptable around 2016/2017... And even then the public has been largely Pro Black Pete until 2020, after the Black Lives Matter movement also started to become a valid topic of discussion in the Netherlands.

The Transition

Between 2010 and 2020 a lot happened since Black Pete officially got taken into question and talk about whether or not Black Pete should be changed started to become a genuine topic of discussion. When the question first rang, the majority of the Dutch folk were against the change. I was against this change as well. I think I should note that I was around 13 at the time and it is a very common phenomenon for kids to mimic the opinion of their parents and teachers. But this indeed a genuine opinion I had at some point and I acknowledge that with full responsibility.

The main reasons everyone was against this change was because we did not see it as racist and were convinced the “goal” with this movement was to entirely remove Pete from the holiday or remove the holiday as a whole from the list.

I would also like to note that the Dutch folk’s opinion on what is and isn’t racist is very outdated as well. (As I write this now in 2020 it is still not a whole lot better but around the 2010′s it was definitely worse.) As this topic gained attraction, jokes about black men having huge dicks (the m*and*ngo stereotype), “watering the Africans” and much more were made to me and other people regularly enough to be normal or at the very least, were seen as a bit of a cheeky thing to say. And despite being a multicultural country, Asian people were still referred to as “Chinese”, Native Americans as “Indians” and Islamic women as “Penguins” as well.

But back on the topic. As the years went on, more and more protests against Black Pete gained attraction and by now parents started to use these protests as another reason to be against the change because “they are ruining it for the kids” White parents would also start to praise the word of their 1 black colleague/friend for being against the change as well.

When the topic started to become more prominent, people made the attempt to change the Black of a Black Pete to another colour. This created the short lived bizarre creation of Rainbow Pete. (also seen in the picture above)

Rainbow Pete was a very short lived idea and was considered weird by many. However, I personally do believe this was an important step in the transition. Rainbow Pete took the depersonalisation tied to Black Pete and quite literally, showed its true colours. It’s ehhh hard to explain what “A Pete” is in English. But growing up I never considered them as human, nor were they ever explained to me as ACTUALLY being human. They are just described as a Pete, and a Pete is all they are. They aren’t people who can have other jobs in Spain or can travel the world to find something else to do. They are a Pete, and therefore they will always be with Sinterklaas in Spain, making toys for us, giving us candy and then going back to Spain with Sinterklaas again.

And that’s why I think this odd colour change was so important. Because by making them green or blue or pink it properly showed how ALIEN Petes felt. Like a whole other species. It tied a certain uncomfortable environment to the depersonalisation and after it’s short lived appearance, Soot Smudge Pete was a much easier step to make

Soot Smudge Pete, or in Dutch known as Roetveeg Pete, is the most recent and most inclusive variant of the Petes. This Pete only requires a few dark smudges to mimic actual soot and can be played by all races.

in 2018/19 Soot Petes started to become more present in the official parades, which a lot of parents were rather disgusted about. I personally think this is the period in which a lot of people just straight up outed themselves as racist, actively being against “White Pete” and actively longing for the “Real Petes” to return. Even with these Petes slowly becoming more popular, it is still not safe for most people who are against Black Pete to discuss the matter with Pro Black Pete individuals in this time period. Pro Black Pete individuals (often family or coworkers) more often than not become very heated when the topic arises and I cannot say I’ve ever seen the same attitude from people who are against Black Pete.

Present Day

In 2020, thanks to the Black Lives Matter movement, it has become way more socially acceptable to support Soot Smudge Pete. Parents who are still Pro Black Pete are still vocally voicing their disgust every time Soot Petes are present instead of Black Petes and much like what happened to me back then, their opinions also seep through onto their children. With these people still present in Sinterklaas spaces it also sadly occurs they press their believes on Soot Petes by giving them too much soot and still giving them a black, curly wig.

However, with the way things are going right now and the positive, multicultural depiction present in the media, I believe we are finally on our way to a more positive environment for kids of all kinds of backgrounds!

Afterthoughts

This whole post sparked after I dealt with a nasty situation myself while playing a Soot Pete at my old Elementary school. I really wanted to play this role to tie a more positive view on Soot Petes with all the parents creating such a negative environment around the Sinterklaas times and thought I could take matters into my own hands. However, I was Sooted up by a Pro Black Pete mother and thus, nearly got as dark as my brown hair. (besides that I also have gender issues and despite the school knowing I’m called Josh, put me in a dress outfit,, but that’s a more personal issue) I was able to wipe most of it off by the time the kids came in, but not without sharing some discouraging words with my mother, who told me to “just suck it up”.

It’s really important to me for people to know how Bad stuff like that still is in this country and I just... don’t understand why people would still support Black Pete after all this time. These people are either friends, family, or just kind people I know and love who around November open their mouths to say the most vile things and create such a sour situation for everyone involved. And after Black Pete is proven to be racist time and time again, still supporting it... It makes me wonder if this has to do with pride more than anything.

No one wants to be called a racist, but is it really that hard to acknowledge some of the shit you said and did was just plain wrong to the point that you’re taking your opinion to new extremes and decide to die on a sinking ship..?

I’ve said racist things. I have compared the curly black hair of a Black Pete to black classmates. I have compared Black Pete to black classmates. I have joked about them not needing to be face painted to be just like Black Pete. I have made those connections and I’m ashamed I did. But you do what you can to deal with it and become better for those around you. You listen to black voices, support black artists and black businesses and become better as a person. We need to start acknowledging how much our society is actually structured to belittle and undervalue black people and you can’t do that when you’re THAT far up your own ass.

phew... anyways. Black Lives Matter! Don’t use tradition to defend racism! Fijne Pakjesavond!!

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fyeah-bangtan7 · 3 years

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j-hope: “I’m not the kind of person to settle for their life as it is”

j-hope himself hasn’t changed since the days before his debut. The way he treats others, the way he feels about BTS, his passion for dancing—they haven’t gone anywhere; only their breadth has changed, along with the breadth of his deeply-held beliefs, his will, and his dreams.

“Butter” has been a huge sensation in the United States. j-hope: I did work hard preparing for it, but whenever I try to embrace an unintended success, in my mind I’m always like … It’s like half happiness, half a feeling that makes me think seriously about what I accomplished. There’s a sense of responsibility that comes along with such an honorable achievement. ARMY’s done so much to keep us at number one, and I’m incredibly thankful for that. At the same time, I also realized that our names are becoming known to more people in the world of American pop music.

It seems like the bigger the success is, the more things you end up thinking about. j-hope: In the past I would just humbly accept it, and it was something I worked hard for so I was happy to accept it—and that was somewhat immature, I guess, but now it’s different. I’ve been working constantly for over eight years, and it hasn’t been easy to achieve so much in that time. So from now on I’m tacking a question mark onto how I should carry on and maintain things the way they are and what attitude and stance I should have right now. It’s homework I haven’t been able to figure out yet, basically.

What effect do such thoughts have on the way you express yourself as an artist? j-hope: I’m also a performer, and I don’t think I take any performance lightly. Ever since we did “Dynamite,” the number of times I go over my performances after they’re done has gone way up. I felt like I’m responsible for making the dances stand out, so I thought I have to try my very best for that aspect. You don’t want to underdeliver on a performance when that many people are sending out their love to you. Each and every one of the members thinks so, and I think we’ve created an atmosphere for our practices where we are able to see how important these things are. After all, even if we don’t show it to one another, we all know how important it is to practice our performances.

It seems like there must be an atmosphere of understanding in the practice studio. j-hope: We used to have to practice for a long time, again and again, to sync up with each other. We’d practice for around 10 hours, review our performances, take a break and then get right back into it, rest some more and do it again. That was then, but now, after all that experience, each member knows where they need to focus, so we coordinate our dispositions and make intense breakthroughs and do what we need to until it’s just right, and then we take a break we really take a break. Now we don’t even really have to think about it. So it’s like, All right, let’s do everything we have to do quickly so we can hurry up and get some rest. This part doesn’t seem right though? Let’s get through this quickly. That’s how we do it. We’re more efficient about work and practice now.

Did that have an effect on you individually as well? As you think more about your performances, the parts you concentrate on might change. j-hope: The dancing is important, but I think I came to realize just how important the visual aspect is. The reason I change my hairstyle or whatnot so often these days is because I want my appearance to blend naturally with the song. Since I’ve always been a dancer I just kept working hard at the things I could do best. But obviously it’s important not to go overboard with the visuals, so I kept an eye on it and adjusted it for each performance. That’s the most important part.

Your dancing in “Butter” is one thing, but it’s also a performance where you need to demonstrate your character. What were you hoping to show off? j-hope: I wanted to show how much I’ve grown in “Butter.” The style is bold and revolved around well-tailored suits and the whole thing felt sexy. I tried to get that across as much as I could. And I learned a lot from watching the members who are good at expressing that. I took all the different ways I thought of that I could try out and melted them all down together, smooth like butter. (laughs)

What’s going through your mind when you’re performing, especially when the spotlight’s on you? Like when you do that attention-grabbing dance break full of slow movements in “Butter,” or the solo disco dancing you did for the “Dynamite” dance break at MMA 2020. j-hope: My mindset doesn’t change. When the spotlight’s on me, that’s an opportunity for me, in a way. It’s a chance for me to shine among our team and its seven amazing members, so I’m always on the lookout to make good use of such opportunities by doing my best. I shouldn’t turn down what I’ve got coming to me, and show off everything I’ve got to show. ARMY and the general public will be the judges, and if they have something to say about it, I have to accept and correct it, I think. I want to say that I developed my own type of growth for myself by repeatedly correcting and practicing and correcting and practicing. I’ve been dancing a long time, but I always feel like I could be doing more, so I put in the effort and I take pleasure in when I make something that turns out really well.

But, if you look at your “Butter” fancam, you continuously react along with the other members dancing even when you’re not the focus of the main camera. j-hope: I’m not consciously doing it. But these days when I watch overseas awards ceremonies or pop artists’ performances that they’ve shot on video, I feel like they don’t really have any heavily edited parts or quick cuts. They capture the artists’ energy while showing the whole scene, so I’m always thinking about how I never know where or how I’m going to be captured on film. So even when the camera is mainly focusing on Jin, in some cases you can still see me in the back, and so I think setting the mood in the background in order not to interfere with his part is an extremely important part of a good performance.

I thought you were very consistent. When SUGA comes forward to rap toward the end of the song, you keep tossing out little shouts to boost up the mood. j-hope: It’s fun, you know? Doing that. (laughs)

That sounds like a good balance insofar as you can continue to express yourself individually while staying devoted to the group. j-hope: I agree. I think that’s something I always had in the back of my head. But as I’m performing within this big group structure, making sure not to interfere with that comes before anything else.

The “Permission to Dance” performance has a different flavor than “Butter” in that sense. While “Butter” gives each member their moment to shine, “Permission to Dance” seems to place importance on the overall mood of the entire group. I feel like it brings out your personal trait of being bright and hopeful. j-hope: When we got the song, it occurred to me that I could just be myself in this one. There’s no need to act; I can just use the real feeling I get when I’m on stage. That’s also the message the song is aiming for, so I think it came across naturally. Like I’m happy, but also on the verge of tears?

Your dance makes use of sign language. Although it is a dance, it also conveys language, so I imagine there were a lot of things to consider. j-hope: Yes, there were. We’re conveying language even though we don’t use a lot of sign language in our dance moves. So although the song is nice and light overall, even when we were practicing we were saying how we have to make sure the moves are perfectly accurate. We thought we should understand the importance behind sign language to properly convey its significance. So we thought we should do our best to do the moves correctly while at the same time trying to fill the song with enjoyment and positive emotions. We spent quite a lot of time integrating the moves into the dance routine, and so I think we were able to show off our attitude about the performance pretty naturally.

I think your vocals and facial expressions at the start of the second verse of “Permission to Dance” help people intuitively grasp what kind of song it is. It makes me think of what you said in the “ARMY Corner Store” video uploaded to YouTube for your 2021 FESTA celebration of the group’s eighth anniversary—that you’re the “vitamins” for the group. j-hope: And I am. I used that expression because I feel like I consistently, and unchangingly (laughs) give the team good energy. I don’t know if I’m actually the vitamins or not. Looking back, I’ve always tried to give them good energy and keep them in a good mood, and I think it’s safe to say now that I’m one of those people who try hard to keep their group’s energy up. I still get a little embarrassed, though. (laughs) I wouldn’t say that I don’t feel any pressure at all about the label. All seven of us have to act as one for BTS to work, and that’s always on my mind, so it forces me to be careful that I’m not standing out from the rest of them. Because the team functions well when everyone has their own role. And because I always keep that in mind whenever I think, I should do whatever I can do, I’m able to contribute to the team and I think I ended up feeling a little more confident about the things that I found difficult to express in the past.

Was there a push behind that change? j-hope: I felt, and realized, exactly what I needed to do with my own personal identity and energy right after I released my first mixtape. From that point on, I thought that I should express my musical views and things like my energy regularly, but not in any intense way. Before, as time went by and the group really blew up, I think I had let go of a lot of the pressure to express myself. Then I started to feel like I wanted to try expressing myself in my own way, even as the team did well.

When you revealed your depressive side directly in the time from when you put out “Dis-ease” during the pandemic period to “Blue Side” from your mixtape, was that a reflection of that influence as well? j-hope: People’s emotions change every day and so do their feelings and the things they can accept throughout their lives, right? So I think the changing emotions I felt and came to accept as the group grew in popularity is also expressed by the way my songs changed. It’s also something I always spend time thinking about, but I’m just another young person living his life on this planet. I’m not really different from anybody else, which means I can’t always be as bright as I was on Hope World. So that’s why I tried a different approach to the things I could express.

What did you find out after trying that? j-hope: I ended up thinking about the shadows inside me. I didn’t realize it when we were promoting, but with the whole world suddenly at a standstill, we have all this time where we can’t do anything and I can see all the shadows underneath—sitting spaced out in the studio, thinking about what kind of life I’ve lived, seeing BTS’s performances on TV, I think, That’s who I was. The amount of willpower I found during this time has been tremendous. I figured I’d better use all those feelings entirely and all at once, that those are emotions and songs that could probably only ever be written at this time anyway, so I put all those emotions down like a diary, and “Dis-ease” was born. With “Dis-ease” as a starting point, I thought I could include stuff like my inner darkness, and that’s why I was able to release “Blue Side.

”What did you see when you looked inward? j-hope: I ended up seeing a side to the real Jeong Hoseok’s life that I couldn’t perceive before. I kept thinking about what life would be best for j-hope while we were working, so I wondered what Jeong Hoseok’s life would look like as a whole. While that was happening I realized I’m not just some always-cheery person—I experience hardship, too. So I thought I could grow closer with listeners by sharing little parts of me that I had been hiding away, and that it would be interesting to show people a side of me that’s different from their idea of who j-hope is. Most importantly, I don’t feel any resistance about who I am right now. As a person who makes music and releases songs about his personal life, I think this is all part of the process.

There’s a line in “Blue Side” where you sing, “Now I just want to burn blue to death.” It seems here, too, something of your shadow was revealed. j-hope: If you’re burning to death, it’d be very hot. But the parts I called blue are a place I consciously escape to to avoid things. It’s a place I escape to that I could safely live in and be swallowed up by, but I don’t want to do that. So I think I tried to show that I want to stir up my passion for the things I wanted to do even if I’m burning blue to death. To be honest with you, I don’t know how I came up with those lyrics exactly. I wrote that part a really long time ago when we were on tour overseas. I’m not a big drinker, but those were the first lyrics I ever released that I wrote while drinking. (laughs) When I write lyrics when I’m drinking I often regret them when I see them in the morning, but when I take a look at them again after some time, I can tell they’re lyrics that I could only ever write with the feelings I get at that time. When I release that kind of song, I get some kind of feeling. And when I give myself feedback about my own music, a version of myself who’s different from the way I was before I made the music emerges.

Is there anything else you’ve learned about yourself lately? j-hope: Um … I’m—what should I say—not the kind of person to settle for their life as it is. I could just keep living like I am and do whatever I want with my life, but I don’t know, honestly. I’ve already had so many amazing things happen but I want to take things one step further, as an individual and as a member of BTS. A thought came to me one day: Have I been challenging myself at all lately? Outside of making songs or dancing? But the answer was no. So I decided I would challenge myself and give some things a try, one of which was studying English. It’s still hard and I have a long way to go, but I’m trying my best given our current schedule.

What are you getting out of studying English, do you think? j-hope: If I can speak in English then I can give and take directions with English-speaking artists myself when I’m working on music. My thinking is that this is one channel of communication I can open that will open up more possibilities in my life. But it could end up being hard to keep studying with our current schedule (laughs) so even though I say I’ll do it, I might not be able to. Your mind could change at any minute and you could come to different decisions any time, depending on how you want to live your life. Right now I’m trying to do music for music’s sake, challenge myself with performances for performance’s sake, and try hard personally for BTS. And I’m working hard to figure out what I need to do for my next steps.

What do you imagine your next step will be? j-hope: I think my next step personally is to grow our music globally. I’ve been doing some self-reflection lately and there’s plenty that I want to do. I have a lot of dreams, too. Making it this far with the group, seeing the other pop artists we’ve been vying with on the Billboard chart, really left an impression on me, and now I’m more serious about wanting to express something. So for example, I’m dreaming of growing our music globally since the environment to have good synergy with foreign artists has already been built.

You, and BTS too, have worked your way up step by step and now you’re able to dream up new steps. In the 2021 FESTA “ARMY Corner Store” video, you said the present is possible only because BTS followed the path that it did since its debut song, so you didn’t want to alter any of your past. (laughs) Still, is there anything you’d want to say to your past self if you could say just one thing? j-hope: As a joke, I’d say, Hey, listen to this melody: “smooth like butter”—write that. If you do that, you’ll be number one on Billboard. I could do it that way, right? (laughs) But for me, even the parts of my life that weren’t good became opportunities for growth. So rather than telling my past self to fix something, I’d just tell him to believe in himself and move on with his life however he feels like, and keep working hard, keeping things the way they are. Other than that, I’d have nothing to say to him.

So how do you feel about ARMY now that they’ve climbed all those steps with BTS? j-hope: ARMY is absolutely … I feel like they’ve become an icon themselves. I’m so proud of them. They’re amazing. ARMY is like an artist in itself now, too. Sort of like they’re one big symbol of the era? ARMY is as famous as BTS now. I think we give each other good energy, and helped each other to make something good. It might sound obvious coming from a member of BTS, but if I were ARMY, I’d never be ashamed to call myself a fan of BTS. Anyway, I’m seriously … I want them to always know I’m really, really grateful for them.

#bangtan #jhope #m:weverse magazine #210727

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bts-reveries · 4 years

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mini me | 11

(images at the end)

“Come in!” Taehyung says as he opens the door to you and Youngjae. Your son excitedly runs inside, looking around for the little dog you told him about. With the sound of guests coming into the apartment, a dog runs out from Taehyung’s room, ready to welcome you and Youngjae. Your son gasps at the sight of the fluff ball, quickly running towards him.

“Mommy it’s Annie!” He yells, hugging the small dog.

“Annie?” Taehyung asks, confused. The two of you walk towards your sons.

“One walk we had in the park a few months back, a puppy ran to Youngjae and wouldn’t leave his side. He wanted to keep him,” you laugh, roughly remembering that moment. “But the owner came, it was a quick meeting, but I don’t remember what the man said her name was. Youngjae calls her Annie--”

“Tannie,” Taehyung says. He laughs, roughly remembering the same day. “Yeontan, he’s a boy by the way. But, that’s crazy, that was you two?” Your eyes widen.

“Wait--”

“Aww I miss you so much,” Youngjae says, hugging Yeontan tighter. You and Taehyung looked at each other in surprise. You remember how much Youngjae loved the dog and how Yeontan ran into you at the best possible time. It was Youngjae’s birthday and you were hoping for a surprise that day, mostly from his dad. Instead the little puppy came at the same time Youngdo texted that he wasn’t going to be able to see him that day. Youngjae was upset for just a second, then the puppy came right over to cheer him up. He talked about “Annie” the rest of the day.

“So I guess we’ve met each other before huh?” Taehyung says. “Tannie’s been watching out the window everyday since then as if he was waiting for someone.”

“Aww Annie missed me,” Youngjae says, rubbing his nose on Yeontan’s.

“Tannie,” Taehyung corrects. Youngjae looks up at him innocently.

“That’s what I said,” he tells Taehyung.

“No, you said Annie. You forgot the ‘T,’” Taehyung tells him, Youngjae shakes his head.

“No, I said it right.”

“Daddy let me pick the stuff I wanted,” Youngjae says, taking out the contents of his bag. “I got this one for you!” He says, pulling out a paint brush. “It’s in my favorite color,” he says, handing Taehyung the purple brush. Taehyung’s smile widens.

“You got me a purple paint brush???” He says, taking the brush from Youngjae’s small hand. He nods his head.

“I have one too,” he says, holding up his own. You squint your eyes at the both of them.

“Didn’t even get me one…” You mutter. Taehyung looks at you and laughs.

“You didn’t get Mommy one?” Taehyung asks Youngjae. He smiles shyly, shaking his head no.

“His mind says ‘no thoughts, just Uncle Cupcake’,” you say, making Taehyung laugh more.

“You can just borrow mine,” Youngjae says, passing you a different brush.

After Youngjae gave you two a little haul of the things he bought while he was at his dad’s, the three of you finally started your paint session.

Taehyung suggested that you three paint each other. Youngjae will paint Taehyung, Taehyung will paint you, and you will paint Youngjae.

It was all quiet at this point, the three of you were just focusing on each other. Taehyung had jazz playing in the background. You were looking at your son, focusing on his features, doing your very best to transfer he’s beauty onto the canvas. Although, you were more of a pencil and paper type of girl, painting was something you needed to get better at.

“Yn, look at me,” Taehyung says. You felt honored that an actual artist was painting you. You couldn’t wait to see what he would have by the end.

You looked up at him and smiled slightly. He scans his eyes over your features, mostly staring at your eyes. It was a long stare. You were starting to feel your cheeks heat up.

After a few more seconds, he quietly goes back to his painting, and so do you. You glanced a little at what your son had on his canvas as he sat right next to you. You couldn’t help but smile at what he’s got. For a four year old, he was good with small details. He had all of Taehyung’s moles on his painting, even painting his one monolid and one double eyelid. They were probably your favorite feature on Taehyung’s face. You weren’t going to lie, Taehyung’s a very attractive man. His personality also fit his good looks very well.

With everyone focused on their own paintings, the music also playing in the background, your mind began to wander.

Your thoughts of your conversations with your girl friends pop into your head. You didn’t like how they constantly suggested that you and Taehyung date. But only because you didn’t want your feelings to be based on peer pressure.

Taehyung caught your attention when you mistook him as Youngjae at the party. He was really kind when the two of you were looking for the kids during ‘hide and seek.’ Also, you’ve never seen someone so in love with kids. Especially someone without kids himself. It made your heart happy.

You don’t even know where to begin with with his relationship with your son. He’s so sweet, thoughtful, and loving to him. Something Youngjae has always deserved. The love you always wanted him to feel.

Dating again also hasn’t crossed your mind. As far as you know, Taehyung loves your son and is a very good friend of yours. You don’t know if he likes you any more than just a friend.

“Are you admitting you like Kim Taehyung?” you thought to yourself. Or are your friends' words getting to you? Do you actually like him? Or do you just want your son to have the dad he deserves? Do you just want to date him to make other people happy? Or would it make yourself happy? This is what had you confused this past week.

Your feelings for Taehyung have been there the day you met him. Although you never acknowledge the feelings you had. Well until the day your friends pushed for you two to date. That’s when you began to think if you really liked him. Instead you shook it off as your friends words getting to you.

“You have a really cute nose,” Taehyung says, pulling you out of your thoughts. You look up at him and see him focused on his painting of you. He looks up at you and laughs. “What? You don’t agree?” You shake your head, emptying out all the thoughts from it.

“How are you two’s painting going?” You say, taking a peek at Youngjae’s then Taehyung’s. Taehyung covers his painting so you wouldn’t see.

“You have to wait until the end,” he tells you. You sigh.

“Fineeee, but I’m done with mine,” you say, getting up and putting it to the side. You ask where his bathroom was so you can go wash your hands.

When you leave, Taehyung waits to hear the door click shut. He looks at his finished painting, signing it off.

“How does mommy look on this?” Taehyung asks Youngjae, turning the canvas around. Youngjae’s face lights up as he sees his mom on the canvas.

“Wow! It’s so pretty,” he says, scanning over the painting.

“Just like mommy right?” Taehyung says.

“What’s just like mommy?” You say, walking back over to them. Taehyung quickly turns the painting around.

“Did you two show each other your paintings without me?!” You say. A little hurt.

“Only Uncle did,” Youngjae says, holding the canvas towards his chest. You glare at Taehyung, making him laugh.

“So you’re done? Let me see,” you say.

“We all have to be done first,” Taehyung says, looking at Youngjae.

“Well, I’m done,” you say, you look over at your son. “Are you?” He smiles up at both of you, slowly turning his painting around. He was quite excited about it. Proud of himself as well.

“Oh my gosh!” Taehyung says, looking at the painting. “Buddy that looks so good!” Taehyung exclaims. Youngjae smiles up at you happily, content about Taehyung’s reaction.

“I want you to have it,” he says shyly, passing the canvas to Taehyung. Taehyung’s reaction was actually pretty priceless. He was genuinely very happy. He takes the canvas from Youngjae, admiring it up close. It was the best portrait of himself he has ever seen. Of course, it doesn’t look exactly like him, but he got all his features down! You would’ve known right away it was him.

“Thank you, Youngjae,” Taehyung says, “I’m hanging this up in my room.” Youngjae was so proud of himself, especially getting such a great reaction from someone he looked up to, he shyly scoots over to you and hugs you from the side.

“Mommy’s turn,” Taehyung says. The butterflies in your stomach seem to flap their wings whenever he would call you that.

“My turn to show? Or are you going to show me your portrait of me?” You ask.

“I’mma show you mines,” he says, turning his canvas around. Your eyes widened as you saw your own face. You knew he was an artist but you didn’t know he was THIS good. It was almost like a photo, but he seemed to capture your beauty. One that you didn’t know you had, or one you rarely saw in yourself.

“W-wow,” you say. Taehyung looks up at you.

“Do you like it?” He says. You look up at him and nod.

“Would it be weird to call a painting of myself beautiful?” You laugh, looking up at him and then back at the painting.

“No, you’re just telling the truth,” he winks. You felt heat in your cheeks and you couldn’t help but laugh.

“Are you trying to call me beautiful or your painting?” You joke.

“Well considering my painting is you, both.”

“I wanna see minesss~~~” Youngjae whines, pulling on your arm.

“Okay okay,” you say, glancing up at Taehyung before grabbing your canvas from the side. You turn it towards him and he smiles at it, giggling a bit.

“What??” You ask, confused about his reaction.

“I like it…” He says, smiling up at you. You scoff, handing him the painting.

“Well I wasn’t expecting that,” you say, making Taehyung laugh.

“Mommy is better using pencil and paper,” Youngjae informs Taehyung.

“Oh is that right? Maybe I have to give mommy lessons on painting huh?” Taehyung says. Youngjae laughs, nodding his head.

“Whatever,” you say. At this point, you didn’t even care that they were teasing your bad painting skills, you were just glad you were all having fun. This is another reason why you loved spending time with Taehyung. It’s always a fun time.

“Oh yeah, Yn,” Taehyung says, pulling you from your thoughts once again. “I had to ask you something.” You raise your brows.

“Hm?”

“Well let’s get some food first,” he says, getting up to go to the kitchen.

The three of you were now sitting at the kitchen table. Taehyung made pasta for you three, Youngjae seemed to like it.

“Okay so I got a call the other day for an art exhibition a few months from now. I need to submit a few pieces in two weeks,” Taehyung explains. “This is a great opportunity for my art work to get noticed by a much bigger audience.”

“Oh wow, that sounds great! Are you going to do it?” You ask. He nods his head.

“I want to, but they are only taking a handful of artists for this exhibition, and so I have to compete. Then I’d have to do an interview too if I win the competition. If I get picked, my art would be in the exhibition.”

“You’ll get in! You’re the best artist I know!” Youngjae says, noodles hanging off his mouth, listening to the two of you’s conversation. Taehyung laughs, reaching over to wipe Youngjae’s chin with a napkin.

“I hope so buddy.” Taehyung turns to look over at you. “I’m a well known artist online, I have a good following on twitter, but this could get me farther in my career,” he tells you. You nod, waiting for him to continue. “There’s a theme for the exhibition, ‘self love.’ I wanted to ask if you can be one of my muses.” Your eyes widen.

“M-me?”

mini me

ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ part eleven: beautiful ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

pairings: artist!taehyung x singlemom!reader

a/n: questions are finally answered lol

we’re finally goin somewhere with this

ALSO HERE’S WHERE THEY MET I FORGOT TO ADD IT IN

picnic blanket, the drabble where it has a small part where taehyung met yn

taglist: @heartfeltscribblings @taexmichi @prdshobi @smarshere @i-swear-im-a-soft-stan @igotarmyofarohas @butterflylion @miagracegrande @casspirit0705 @ephyra1230 @cosmicdaylight @bbyjoonies @betysotelo18 @strwberry-jam @rjsmochii @chocobetterknot @notmontae97 @alpaca1612 @yoongistruth @dragonqueen01 @silentlyimpractical @hecticwonderer @joanc24 @angjeon @momma-said-that-it-was-oke @sweetmoonlight9 @samros95 @dreamcatcherjiah @sonderkook @taekookcaneatme @listless-losers @kookietsukkie @goldenchemistry @salty-for-suga @peoplejustcanthandlemywierdness @softboyfriendtae @raplineh0e @ess-place @callmepaopao @ggukvii @ramyagovindraj @yoongiverse @mipetronella @cloudy-skys @jikachoo @nxtrogers @kookoo-kachoo @taestannie @hispoutylips @hallofbtsmasterlist

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

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aot-snk-4238 · 3 years

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AOT No Requiem Fanfic Review Part 2

Disclaimer: I am not a supporter of ANR myself, so I knew that I probably wouldn't like most of what this fanfiction is putting out there. That being said, I decided to check it out anyway because I was interested in seeing what changes these people were planning on making. This review is not meant to bash the work or the team of artists and writers behind it. These are just my own personal opinions, and I will try to express them as professionally as I can without coming across as aggressive or rude, as that is not my intention.

After a four month hiatus, it looks like the popular fan fiction Attack On Titan No Requiem is back in action. I'm glad to hear that their creator is doing okay. Since this fan fiction covers the final three chapters, I'm splitting my review into three parts. The first one can be found here so if you haven't read it, you can check that out first. I kept it short and to the point and I intend to try and do that with the rest of these as well, so without further ado, here are my thoughts on the second installment of this short series:

This chapter opens up where the previous one left off, with a clash between Eren and Armin's ideologies, their discussion getting more heated by the minute. Armin still believes in a more peaceful way out of the situation that involves more talking and less bloodshed, whereas Eren sees no other options other than the path he is currently on. Fuming with anger now, Armin grabs Eren by the shirt and this is where the scene transitions to the rest of Eren and Historia's conversation from chapter 130. I still can't believe we were deprived of this in the canon universe, so I was interested to see if any of it would play out in a way that I wasn't already expecting. As it turns out, it did not. I was fully prepared for them to confirm or at least imply that Eren is the father of Historia's baby considering what theory this whole thing is based off of and that's exactly what happened. To their credit, they didn't make it as cheesy and overly-romantic as I was afraid they might, but it still could have used a bit more exposition and time to develop. I didn't care for what appeared to be a brief elopement scene in the woods, though. And was that supposed to be Floch officiating it? That's...just too weird for me. Sorry, but a secret wedding in the woods with Floch as the priest felt more like a joke to me rather than a serious event. I remember when most fans used to hate him, but that changed at some point and now he's quite popular. I can't tell if it's for the sake of memes or if people really had a change of heart. And just to be clear I have no issues with people liking him, I'm just a little confused as to how it came about. As for the whole pregnancy subplot in general, I don't think there's anything that can done to make me like it at this point. It came out of nowhere and it led to nowhere. It looks pretty clear to me that making Eren the baby father is the only solution that people can come up with to have it actually mean something and have relevance, which only serves as further proof to me that it never should have happened in the first place. Even if this team has something clever up their sleeve, I feel like there's only so much they can do to make it better, especially considering that they're only changing the last three chapters. To me, a much better handling of Historia post time-skip by Isayama would have involved giving her a chance to actually be queen and exploring her thoughts on Eren's actions and whether she would have allowed the Yeagerists to take over the island. We saw in the end that she did let them take over, but we're not clearly shown why. We also never found out why Eren was able to change her mind so suddenly regarding his plan and what made her decide to have a child. Not to mention that not once did we get to see her interact with the rest of the cast, which it doesn't look like will happen in this fan ending either. It was just her in that stupid chair and then the baby is born and that's it. I appreciate the AOTNR team's attempt to breathe some life back into her, but it still doesn't make up for all the missing screentime she had from chapter 90 onwards.

Moving on to the last part of this chapter, we see that after learning Eren's secret, Armin has had enough. He calls Eren a hypocrite for hiding what he did with Historia from everyone and how things could have been better if he just trusted them, but Eren is still unfazed. Armin asks Eren why he was brought back into Paths if it wasn't actually going to fix anything, and this is how the rest of the chapter plays out:

I like the way this cliffhanger is depicted. It shows Eren and Armin both as children this time facing each other, each with a determined look on their face while their adult faces shine in the background. It serves as a good visual representation of just how much things have changed between them since their early years and prepares the audience for a huge face-off outside of PATHS where everyone else is still trying to fight off Ymir's horde of ancient titans. Speaking of that, these two fan-made chapters have not given much focus to what's been going on on the outside, unlike Isayama's chapter 138. It looks like their three biggest priorities here are giving us Eren's POV, which we didn't get until the very end, Historia's POV, which we never got at all, and a final boost of character development for Armin. As a result, other important plot points are put on hold, such as what's next for Zeke and the rest of Eren's friends. This, paired with a lack of action sequences, causes the pacing to feel slow. Seeing where we are now, though, I'm assuming that it will pick up next chapter. And now that they've given Historia some much needed attention, I'm interested in seeing if they have any plans for Mikasa. There are a lot of people who strongly dislike her, so changing that perspective into something more positive looks like it's going to be a big challenge and I'll be very impressed if they pull it off. Overall, I thought this chapter was okay. It's very good for a fanfiction, though, and I'm glad that other people are enjoying it. I'll be grateful if it brings at least some level of peace to this fandom in the end, so until next time, thanks for reading ✌.

#snk #attack on titan #attack on titan no requiem #snk fanfiction #eren jaeger #armin arlert #historia reiss

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scarlet--wiccan · 4 years

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Hey, since the maximoffs are generally white-passing (though not always and “passing” is a complicated thing) in the comics, do you think it’s rude/unnecessary to confront someone for making very pale art of them? If I did it I’d try to be nicer about it than I would if they were just blatantly whitewashing a visibly brown or black character, but I see a lot of artist who I feel like might not know and I really wonder if it’s worth it. Do you have any thoughts?

That's complicated. It's not a misrepresentation of the characters in the way that, for instance, a blonde Wanda or a tall, muscular Billy would be.

I can't reasonably fault anybody, fanartist or canon illustrator, for drawing characters on-model.

That said, in the last few years there has been an ongoing conversation in this fandom, at least here on tumblr, about who the Maximoffs are, and the ways in which their general representation is lacking. It's become more common to draw the characters with darker skin or more apparently ethnic features. If you're a fan of Wanda, or Pietro, or any iteration of Young Avengers, it's pretty hard to avoid that conversation, so it's easy to point fingers at anybody who seems to be ignorant to, or is intentionally ignoring, that trend. If I'm reading your message correctly, you seem to be asking if that trend represents a truer, more valid version of the characters that we should all adhere to, and if it is necessarily problematic to do otherwise.

I'm of two minds. On the one hand, I believe that disrupting the representation of all Roma people as white-passing, or even interchangeable with white Europeans, is crucial. Setting aside the fact that the diaspora intersects with just about every racial group, not just white people, the broad whitewashing of Roma communities in media erases our origins and occludes the fact that the mistreatment of Roma people is a race issue. On a wider scale, I believe that this manufactured ignorance contributes to systemic antiromanyism, but within the sphere of pop culture, specifically, it allows people to get away with obviously racist art and writing, and it's why Romani history and identity are viewed as disposable whenever people adapt these comics for the screen.

On the other hand, I'm deeply frustrated by the tokenization and co-opting of Roma identity that this fandom performs. This may sound hypocritical, considering how much of my blog revolves around my edits, but I see a lot of folks on tumblr who draw brown Wandas, make fancasts with Romani actors, and, like me, photoshop comic book panels, but not a lot of people who demonstrate any understanding of antiromanyism, or better yet, material allyship. In everybody's haste to earn diversity points, they've produced a lot of unintentionally racist content. I've seen a lot of cultural tourism, inappropriately co-opted activist work, and even virtual brownfacing in the form of RP accounts. No one, myself included, should feel entitled to dictate what a true or valid image of Wanda looks like, but especially not a community of people who think that having a folder of Hiba Abouk gifs and a Wikipedia list of common chib phrases makes it okay to racefake for your MCU roleplay.

Anyways, when it comes to fanart, you're going to have to rely on your own subjective judgement, and try to think about more specific issues than "whitewashing" because these characters just don't fit into that idea. Content that's derived from the movies is complicit in erasure. Content that is derived from the comics, but which applies lighter and straighter hair to Billy or Wanda is complicit in eurocentric standards, and the trend of gradually lightwashing characters of color, and even white Jewish characters. Content which employs racist stereotypes is not better than canon "white-passing" depictions. Cultural appropriation is still cultural appropriation, even if the character you're drawing is a member of that culture. Many popular writers and artists have a history of ignoring or shutting down dialogues about representation, even harassing people like me.

Hopefully, thinking about that stuff gives you a more clear idea of what to look out for, what's worthy of confrontation, and how to articulate your problems with a specific person or their content.

I know this ran longer than was strictly necessary, but I wanted to roll your message together with a similar question about whitewashing:

The Maximoffs weren't conceived, written, or designed in such a way as to be intentionally whitewashed, at least not originally-- their background was established via a retcon, at least a decade after their first appearance. Up until that point, they were generic, apparently white, Central Europeans. The fact that they are treated as interchangeably white and Roma is both product and perpetuation of the broad whitewashing of European Romani that I described earlier. Nobody's going out of their way to make sure the twins always have at least one white ancestor in order to justify "whitewashing" them, rather, nobody has ever truly envisioned them as people of color in the first place.

People will perform all kinds of mental gymnastics in order to minimize the Maximoffs' ancestry, or come up with reasons why it makes the most sense for them to look white-- invoking Erik as the father; dredging up the short-lived Robert Frank retcon; or, for Billy and Tommy, claiming that their resurrection somehow erased their genetic and ancestral ties to Wanda, even though the text implies the very opposite. I'll let you in on a secret, though-- these characters aren't real people, and their stories aren't immutable truths. If anybody, fans, writers, or artists, is making leaps of logic to avoid making comics more inclusive, it's not because their hands are tied by the unbreakable chains of canon, it's because they don't want comics to be more inclusive.

Also, I could be off the mark here, but I don't think I am-- Sinti people are Roma. Different parts of the diaspora have different names for themselves, but are all part of the same larger population. It's mostly a regional thing, as I understand. If you want my opinion, it doesn't matter what version of the story you go with-- whether Magda, Marya or Natalya is their birthmother, Marya and Django raised them. They have direct Roma ancestry either way, and they were raised by a Roma family. It's hard to say exactly where in the world the Maximoffs lived, or what specific label they might have identified with, but the twins would likely identify with the community they were raised in, be that Sinti or Servitka or Kalerash or whatever else. If I'm being honest I don't think that distinction is relevant for non-Roma to make.

I've said this before, but I don't really care what the characters look like, and I'm not interested in playing identity politics with fictional stories that were created by and for American gadje. Obviously, I love these characters as a fan, and I do have my own vision, no pun intended, of who they are and how I'd like to see them represented, but I worry that these conversations are unproductive. I hope you guys understand that I'm not out here trying to canonize an arbitrary idea of what Jewish Romani people look like. American superhero media has a long history of exploiting, misrepresenting, and erasing Romani history. I want more people to understand that, and understand the material consequences it has, and think about how comics, American culture, and art in general can deconstruct this specific mechanism of racism. It's not about any one character's identity, and it's not about my creative vision.

#bee text #wanda maximoff #pietro maximoff #billy kaplan #tommy shepherd #robintext

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rockmiyabideusexmachina · 3 years

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2021 Megaman Valentine’s Day Contest Results

Among the many things this past year or so has tested us with is delays, and I apologize that this year’s Valentine’s Day contest results are included in that. I certainly did not plan on this taking until March to get completed, and I am sincerely sorry to have kept you all waiting. But hopefully it is all worth the wait!!

Thanks once again to every single one of you who participated! I will be contacting the winners soon enough. Work will probably keep me from replying to everyone immediately, but I will send a message about prizes hopefully within 24 hours.

Also, my thanks to @subzeroiceskater for helping out with judging this year. Not to mention the promo pic above and other assorted bonuses that always bring me a big smile. I might say this seemingly every year, but you all made judging this VERY hard. It might have something to do with the themes as well, but I think both of us flipped and rearranged our rankings repeatedly, and even then, it was hard to decide on who would place. XD Each one of you did an amazing job!

After the break, you’ll see the winners for both categories, along with all of the entries. Raffle prize winners will be noted below by their alias, as well.

Category 1: Kiss From a Rosered (Talent)

For our talent category this year, the theme focused on your favorite Megaman characters giving roses to their special someone, along with incorporating the symbolism of specific rose colors within the piece. That rose color was also to be the predominant color within the piece, to the best of your ability.

A grand total of 9 entries were submitted for this category. You can see the full gallery of all entries at full-size [HERE]. Each entrant’s name will also link to their individual pieces at full-size.

1.) Sapphire: *$100 prize*

Subzeroiceskater said:

Oooooh, this is so cute and pink! Piiink~ Ehem. I love the depth, angle, and color grading of these—notice how Roll’s black linework is at the forefront of the pic but colors mixes with the lights and colors from the sun further along the pic. There’s a lot to admire about how everything easy to read with so many competing elements like the similar hues and bright lighting.

Pink roses usually mean a gentler sort of love but did you know that different shades of pink could signify different things as well? A darker shade may mean gratitude; medium shade could be about a first love or congratulations while a light shade may mean admiration. Tron holding a singular pink rose with varying shades of pink while literally tripping over herself and a Servbot could only mean—that this is hilarious.

Miyabi said:

From a technical standpoint, I think your piece clearly felt the most polished, crisp and virtually professional of the bunch. But more than that, I felt it also best gave off the vibe of the rose color dominating the piece, but in very subtle, beautiful ways. Where as the pink sunset causes many of the normally white areas, like Roll’s collar/sleeves, parts of Gustaff, and more, to ooze that pink lighting. Even with her klutziness, you still also portrayed the feeling of sweetness, admiration and appreciation that a pink rose conveys. Just so pretty, calming, and joyful to look at!

2.) Forceway: *$75 prize*

Subzeroiceskater said:

There is a sort of gentle irony with how Skull Man and Shade Man are both robots modeled after horror symbols—skulls and vampires—but are here surrounded by a soft sea of pink roses. The dark night is often depicted as a primal fear because it hides our deepest fears but here—illuminated by the bright shining moon—the night is transformed into a scene of love—perhaps devotion, with how Shade is gently cradling Skull, as well with the church bell in the background. This is a very tender piece mixing the shadows and the sweet.

Miyabi said:

I know most digital art programs have the brushes and shortcuts to make detailing things like roses a lot easier, but your bed of roses certainly look all done by hand on your own, and that alone impressed me a ton! Based off of the Ariga Megamix tale of Skull Man not feeling appreciated or having a family after Cossack stored him away, I felt the pink roses and Shade showing him that he is actually appreciated here was a fantastic conceptual choice. Purples in the sky and Shade’s body split the canvas and contrast with the pink well, including how you used the pink for some of the stars in the sky. Beautiful job!

3.) DigitallyFanged: *$50 prize*

Subzeroiceskater said:

Yellow is a bright color, often evoking the sun, warmth, light, joy and hope. With roses, its positive connotations continue with possible meanings of friendship, care and remembrance. Tabby’s piece seems to evoke the last one the strongest—with Zero, broken and forgotten in a lab—but, not entirely, because of a bond that is stronger than apparent death lives on—even if in this moment, it’s only a memory. Even the roses are not real—just projections of what was once alive. This is fantastic use contrast with the dark, moody blues against the vivid, almost defiant yellows; and the repeated little motifs such as X crying and the water drops falling all over Zero. It stands out from the rest of happy entries with how sad it is but it still manages to be hopeful.

Miyabi said:

Zero’s blonde locks certainly are an iconic part of his design, so playing off of that and focusing on yellow as your rose color fit perfectly. You definitely made this a very emotive piece considering technically, neither of these two are even alive and moving here! As mentioned above, the little details like the water droplets balancing against Cyber Elf X’s tears, the digital lines to make it appear like X has created the cyber-roses for Zero, and Zero’s battle damage caught my eye immediately. You certainly captured the yellow rose symbolism of remembrance and friendly affection beautifully!!

And the rest of the wonderful entries, in alphabetical order by alias:

AbilityField: [Page 1] [Page 2] [Page 3] [Page 4]

*Raffle Prize Winner* Captain N Mega Man Cel

Subzeroiceskater said:

It’s so poetic about how this contest theme is about how the language of flowers is used to communicate feelings beyond just using words; and so, the comic is completely silent, relying on actions to convey its meaning. Yellow roses could mean friendship, care and affection; and it’s shown wonderfully with how Iris and Lan are so thoughtful with one another. It’s so cute how Iris missed Lan only because he was already out buying roses for her. Given how hard comics are to make and how this is fully colored, I really wanted to give this first place—however I felt the color usage of yellow could have been stronger, especially with the last page, where it would have had the most impact. I had to squint and zoom out to even see if the lighting had changed. Still, it’s such a very warm and lovely work.

Miyabi said:

I always appreciate the effort people put into making multiple-page comics for these contests, and this is no exception! Even without dialogue, you did a great job at conveying your story through your art in each panel and it was easily understandable. Another utilizing the yellow rose, I certainly felt the friendship and warmth in your tale. As Subzero mentioned, the only thing keeping it from placing was that the yellow colors weren’t as dominant in other areas of the pic, besides the panel by Sal. Still, your coloring was very crisp and vibrant throughout each page, and it was an awesome submission!

aw-colorcat:

Subzeroiceskater said:

With the red for Metal Man, orange for Cut Man and the explosion of yellow flowers, that’s the trifecta of warm colors. Yellow roses could mean delight and this pic is delightful in all ways. Cut looks so cute practically swimming in the sea of flowers and greenery, as does Metal’s adorable expression—which is a feat since he only shows his eyes. I also really like the juxtaposition and balance of this piece from: the rust-brown car against green-yellow nature running wild, and Metal holding a bouquet meanwhile Cut’s covered with plants. It makes me want to get some fresh air myself!

Miyabi said:

Cut Man looks grateful for being able to ride in that pickup bed of flowers, and I have a feeling the two of them had a wonderful time just snipping and sawing away at all the stems to gather them all. XD Love how the yellow and oranges play off of both character’s color schemes nicely. The subtlety of the yellow flowers in the foreground, along with the sun and tree in the background all play off each other well, too! Just an absolutely cute pic!

Dark-Dullahan:

Subzeroiceskater said:

What a fantastic composition. Dark-Dullahan does away with most color, leaving the colors of the mixed-bouquet roses as the main focal point. Classic red for romance, a gentler pink for affection, mixed yellow roses to signify caring and probably so much more—seems like Nana can’t contain her feelings for Massimo. I love how the close up of the bouquet doesn’t just form a kind of heart at the top but serves as the divider between the two, like a diptych. With such a wonderful offering, Massimo would surely accept her feelings.

Miyabi said:

As you brought to my attention, your mixed bouquet had a few different meanings, such as the dark pink representing thanks to Massimo for saving Nana from Silver Horn, and the red tips on the yellow roses to symbolize falling in love. Certainly got those vibes from her shy demeanor, as she sheepishly tries to hand them to him. Also agree with Subzero that the line from the bouquet nicely works as a way to separate them uniquely with the background. Sorry you weren’t able to complete it as fully as you had hoped, but the concept behind it certainly was strong!

Donnie:

Donnie also sent in an alternate version made during the creative process, in a different artistic style, that I still feel needs to be shared, as well. Fun to see the contrast, yet still have the same feeling and mood to the piece.

Subzeroiceskater said:

Oh, I adore this one. It reminds me of a movie poster with the tagline. I love the extra PINK flourishes of the letterings like with the Mega Man logo color change and cute pixelated font and heart. Both Rock and Roll’s expressions are so cute, too—with his more subdued smile contrasted with her exuberant grin. Much like how the pink rose could mean many things like thoughtfulness, cheer or as a show of appreciation, this piece is positively sparkling with affection, hearts and all. It’s clever how the sunset is giving the picture an overall pinkish-red hue while having the yellow light as an outline. A darling piece.

Miyabi said:

With pink roses again, I truly liked the additional hue adjustments where you can feel the warmth and see the lighter pink mixed into their skintone, or areas normally of white - from eyes to teeth to the Megaman logo - that have taken on the pink in it’s place. With the painterly watercolor style you used, it all blends in nicely. Even in your earlier version, I feel you brought a strong game with the hues, but toned down the red from that version to make it feel much stronger towards pink, with a tighter crop of your canvas. It was fun to see how it evolved, and strengthened your piece in doing so! Fabulous job!

DragonMarquise:

Subzeroiceskater said:

No better way to show how madly in love you are than a bouquet of roses that run the gamut of—I can’t call these warm colors because these passions are running hot. Orange seems to be the dominant color here—which in roses could symbolize a love that’s passionate, fierce and deep. It’s also expressed nicely with the two lovers embracing, engaged in mid kiss, their bodies also forming a subtle heart shape, to emphasize the flurry of hearts around them. The bouquet is not just orange roses, however, but a mixed bouquet of the classic romantic red and the more affectionate pink—it’s a piece that’s bursting with all degrees of love.

Miyabi said:

You also certainly mastered the limited color pallette challenge as you tackled this piece! Orange, the color of passion, is certainly felt in their deep kiss and embrace. I too caught the heart shape their heads essentially form, which is then further enforced with the heart of hearts behind them. I thought that concept was pulled off very well. Perfect for the fiery intensity of Match, this turned out to be a very hot pic!

Mattasaurs:

Subzeroiceskater said:

This one has a very clever framing (eh? EH?). The color white is often associated with purity, innocence and hope, and with white roses—weddings and marriage. Sonia dons the classic white wedding dress which has a très élégante design—and the little Lyra on her belt is very cute. The pink background is also very romantic and a nice way to tie in with her theme colors. I dig the lovey-dovey feel of Geo doing the classic bridal carry while clasping a single white rose...but seeing the thorns, I think he better watch his hand!

Miyabi said:

For a theme emphasizing color within the pic, I salute you for taking the biggest challenge in choosing white. In many ways, it could have been the hardest to keep as a predominant color, but still make the pic interesting and visually appealing. Choosing to have the petals all around the frame, with the bouquet nearby was a clever touch. With white often used for weddings and new beginnings, I think the concept of your piece worked just right, where it was subtle, but still incorporated enough other color to give the piece some life.

Category 2: Kawaii-rimi (Humor)

For our humor category this year, the theme focused on your favorite Megaman character gifting the plush form of another Megaman character to their crush, instantly created by a ninja-like character, to play off of the Kawarimi concept from the EXE series.

With just 3 entries in our humor category this time around, every entrant placed. You can see the full gallery of all entries at full-size [HERE]. Each entrant’s name will also link to their individual pieces at full-size.

1.) Mattasaurs: *$100 prize*

Subzeroiceskater said:

Y’know how blocks of wood are sometimes used by ninjas when they do that whole body switching thing? I think it’s clever how this pic has Sal—Woodman.exe’s operator—conjuring the doll. Everything about the pic is so fun and colorful: from Sal’s mischievous grin of accomplishment, Miyu being completely shocked by her chibi doppelganger (check out that body language!) and Masa’s confused expression.

Miyabi said:

Yes, while to some, Sal might not be the first one they think of when they think ninja in the Megaman Universe, but I certainly thought she still fits the bill in her design. Usually we don’t see this much emotion or shock out of Miyu, so seeing her torque her body, taken aback at a doll of herself, is amusing in it’s own right. Meanwhile, nothing fazes Masa. And a bit of randomness: oh man, seeing Masa’s head in profile, with his bandana...wow, I never realized how much his head shape with the bandana looks like a fish’s. I can’t unsee it now. Anyways, I also agree that the color, polish, and fun vibe made this a worthy winner!

2.) ColeManX: *$75 prize*

*Raffle Prize Winner* Captain N Cutsman Cel

Subzeroiceskater said:

E-Eyes? What did you mean by that, Mr. RT-55J? Although judging from the sparkle on those booblights… I understand, Cinnamon—if that happened to me, I’d be making asides to the camera, like I was in “The Office”, too. Cinnamon’s enthusiastic smile with this whole bizarre scene really sells it for me but shoutout to Marino’s smug satisfaction in the background.

Miyabi said:

🎵 I kind of liked it your way How you shyly placed your eyes on me Did you ever know That I had mine on you?🎵

RT says it only has eyes for Cinny right now, but it’s also known to be a little grabby hands, so I don’t know if I’d fully trust it...but good thing this is just a plush version. Time for the tables to be turned, and Cinnamon to get her claws and paws on it, instead. Very cute, although after the DiVE V-Day event, we all know this is a ruse and your pal boobeyes only belongs to the Ferham Fanclub. XD

3.) Ronin-Apprentice: *$50 prize*

Subzeroiceskater said:

This whole comic is so sweet and fluffy, nya! ~(=^‥^)ノ☆ It’s adorable how Proto brings up his gift first and the surprise is how Shadow handmade his gift. The little cat-eared Blues design is so darling--almost as cute as him fussing how totally NOT a cat he is. “Did you steal my cat.” had me snorting. Now I’m wondering where Tango went off to…

Miyabi said:

FU-SION-HA!

Aside from getting his own Super Adaptor, this is probably the closest we’ve got to seeing Tango and Blues merged as one. LOL I’m sure that plush would have a ton of fans wishing it actually existed. The panels where Blues embarrassingly hides behind his scarf and gets pet like a cat had me laughing! Very cute and adorable comic, that certainly had the most depth in terms of the theme of this category!

#Rockman #Megaman #Mega Man #Rock Miyabi's 2021 Megaman Valentine's Day Contest #Fanart Contest

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marksinn · 3 years

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Passion Project: Inspiration

I don’t think I’m starting at the beginning with this post. Keep your eyes peeled for later posts that explain what I’m doing and why.

After a month of thinking about, sketching and painting designs, I have finally done something. Essentially, recently watching two films has pushed me into action, and a part of me is ashamed to admit it. There isn’t a word count or any typesetting to curtail my thoughts here, so strap in.

When I created this brief I figured I’d draw a million wee skateboards, colour a few of them in, then fling my favourites into Adobe illustrator and make them look good. From there I would take the 5 best up to the skatepark and ask some of the patrons there which designs stood out to them. Next, I would adapt the three front-runners and create sweet PhotoShop mockups that would show what my designs would look like as skateboards. If I had the time, inclination or money by the end of the project, I would have the design laid onto a real skateboard (I’ve been looking to buy a new one for some time) and then be proud of myself.

So I’ve drawn some wee skateboards. Then I started upscaling the designs onto the floorboards of my loft:

This was an exercise to let me see how small things need to be adapted to be blown up. Skateboards can have any level of detail that you like on them, I hadn’t considered this until I was trying to draw a semi-perfect triangle for the traffic cone, or until I was using chalk to recreate four cubes. It’s also been fun to work with different media on chipboard - I have learned that most kinds of pencil, paint, chalk and charcoal do not like being used on chipboard. Decorating paint, however, has no such issues. Thanks, Dulux!

And so, with a few of these under my belt, I decided to try some digital designs. So I jumped into Illustrator and totally ignored my sketchbook, coming up with three designs that were all inspired by the day I had just had. The top design, I’ll focus on last, for reasons that will become apparent (unless you follow me on Instagram, where you’ll already know that it’s an absolute hit, with over 19 likes already!). I was told by a guy at the skatepark that he likes decks with very basic designs, just a colour or two, nothing overly detailed. Another skater told me that he often likes the basic wood background with one small emblem or sticker just beside the wheels.

The duo-tone design felt nice, I’m usually one for over-complicating things. I definitely have an attitude of “If there’s more in it, there’s a greater chance someone will find something they like”. The first colour choice put my girlfriend in the mind of a hand-bag she had seen photographed in the arms of Carrie Fisher - it was designed to look like a Prozac pill. So I changed the colours up, and added the separating black lines and textures to give it some subtle character. I then went full meta with the Minimal design. And, if I’m being honest, I’m incredibly happy with how it looks like a wee character. Expect to see that making a comeback in the very near future. But the top design is what really got me going.

I’ve recently been watching...

...Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse, and have been loving Miles Morales’ multiple hobbies of graffiti, mixing beats and saving his neighbourhood from a variety of dangers.

I then went to the cinema to see In The Heights, telling the tale of the Latin community during a blackout in North Manhattan. I found myself wrapped up in the romance, tribulations and music of the cast, and was felt oddly proud of Lin Manuel Miranda - who wrote this as a stage-musical while he was in college, had a modicum of success with it, then went on to create Hamilton, one of the most important musicals of our time. With the success of that particular show taking the entire world by storm, he was given the opportunity to make his old, relatively only semi-popular play into a blockbuster film. You can’t help but be inspired by someone like that.

I often find towards the end of a film I’m inspired by the characters’ journeys: be that from zero to hero, from lonely to loved or from rags to riches. Then I walk out and carry on with my normal life doing normal things. And as the hero of the story’s dreams all came true in the closing minutes (sorry for the spoiler, but it’s a musical, they rarely end in despair), a thought floated across my mind:

I’m utterly sick of being inspired

Now, to my credit, I did figure out in the car home that ‘tired’ would be a far more fitting and rhythmic word to use in this sentence, but this was a mentality that I found resonated really strongly with me. I’m very good at being inspired, I think most people are. We hear stories of people starting their own business, achieving some sporting brilliance or overcoming a personal hurdle and we say “Wow, isn’t that inspiring?” or

“It really inspires you to go out and make a difference!” or

“They are such an inspirational speaker!”

Then we go off about our day, not acting on the inspiration, and, for the most part, remaining uninspired. So I decided to act.

I did some very quick research (/acquiring of images of graffiti) in order to get the right shapes and textures to create a spray paint effect in Illustrator. I did some very quick research (/confirming the colours) of South American flags, taking the blue and red used in flags of the home nations of Miles Morales from Spider-Man and Usnavi from In The Heights. And I created the top design.

YES! I had been inspired and I had drawn a wee picture to show that - I had acted on my inspirations!

Then I looked to my left and spotted three, blank skate decks that I had bought on a whim from Re:Ply (a wonderful wee company who do a great deal of charity work supplying boards to people who need them, selling boards to people who can afford them, and for a very reasonable fee, providing unusable decks to people who want to use them for artistic purposes). I realised I hadn’t acted on my inspiration, I had just drawn a few pictures of skateboards with the eventual aim of PhotoShopping them onto other pictures of skateboards.

So I took myself...

... into the city centre with a shoddily prepared speech: “I’m looking for some cheap, small cans of spray paint. I’ve no idea what I’m doing, or if I’ll be good at it, so don’t want to invest too much into this.” Hiding behind this self-deprecating shield I barged into multiple art-, pound- and model-shops and pleaded with the staff to help a young idiot out. Amazingly, a very kind shop assistant pointed me in the direction of Fat Buddha, a clothes shop I’d always ignored as it seemed a bit to “...” for me. I don’t know what it seemed, but I knew it wasn't my kind of shop. Happy to prove me wrong, the guys in there were super helpful and they helped me buy my first cans of spray paint.

Now I’d spent money...

... and as a skinflint, that meant I had to get use out of my purchases. I had tricked myself into being inspired. Inspiration led me to the drawing, inspiration had led me to buy decks and the paint, now inspiration had to make me spray paint.

I’ll stop yammering on now. Essentially, I had planned on creating some analogue designs then digitising them (I’m guessing I should do a post on my brief, yeah? Might just upload the PDF to save me talking more), but then I found that I was doing the complete opposite. Genuinely accidentally. I had played with a few typefaces from various websites to get fonts that represented the ideas I wanted. The top one was semi-stolen (I can’t use the word ‘inspired’ any more in this post) from the end credits of In The Heights. The larger font is something of a nod to inspirational quotes you see on Facebook or on glittery frames in B&M.

I printed those out and cut them into stencils (very impressed that my digital boards have been drawn to a workable scale, thanks Maths). And after putting down a tack-layer (GRAFFITI JARGON (I think)) I sprayed the whole lot in blue.

Next, I tried to get a little fancy. Using cardboard blockers to create straight lines I added stars* (borrowed from the Puerto Rican flag) and made the bottom stripes vaguely reminiscent of America’s Old Glory.

I peeled the lettering off, and I’d done it. I may have to explain the overtly-negative inspirational quote to people, but to me it’s a clear sign that there’s no point in just being inspired, and that’s all I wanted.

A weight I didn’t know I was carrying was lifted from my shoulders. The plan was to possibly end up with a self-designed skateboard. And now I have one.

*Yes, I know they’re crosses.

#pp_hncgd1 #allhandsondecks #skateboard

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mwolf0epsilon · 4 years

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First off, before everyone comes after my butt with their "No Fun Allowed" and "Cringe" signs, this is in no way something to be taken as gospel or insightful. It's not a prophetic enforcement of canon. It's literally a theory done for fun, and to try to piece the Bendy Crack up Comics into the general and messy lore of the BatIM franchise.

Most of you get this and don't need a big wordy warning about fanon interpretation, but a lot of peculiar people tend to show up in my ask box hoping to start a fuss over my headcanons and AU ideas, so I thought to be nice and leave a polite and diplomatic "Kindly Fuck Off" sign at the door for them.

With that said, there will be mild spoilers, carry on of your own volition, down below under the cut that will definitely show up because Tumblr mobile is a functional app that's never given me trouble!!!

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[[MORE]]

The Bendy Franchise has an established issue with cohesion in its lore. We all know what I'm talking about, we all have reservations about canonical character discrepancies (game vs novel vs guidebook) and we all have been racking our brains with a few holes in the timeline, as well as how BatDR (which is neither prequel nor sequel) will fit into this, since it's connected to BatDS and that's an established prequel to BatIM.

Granted I myself am missing a lot of pieces, having to scrounge around for info since I can't really get any of the reading material myself and rely heavily on @british-hero (who owns the novel plus got her copy of the comics yesterday), a very incomplete wikie, and analysis and theories from SuperHorrorBro's Bendy videos.

Heck, I also rely on a lot of gameplay footage, because BatIM has a bit of subtle storytelling through visual design of its levels, and hints of how certain characters work through a few game mechanics.

Through this mishmash of collecting puzzle pieces for the greater picture I even have a few notes on my phone to piece together certain events in established dates, something which comes very in handy for this theory since it talks about two particular characters, the Projectionist and Brute Boris (and I guess Twisted Alice to some extent but it's more of a note on some interesting thoughts I have of her).

Without further ado, here's what this theory is all about: Why did Norman become the Projectionist, and why did Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris?

If you think about it, there's only two creatures in the studio that really seem out of place in the world of BatIM, and that's Prophet Sammy and the Projectionist. Neither are inherently similar to any of the cartoon characters, nor are they considered to be Lost Ones. They're certainly not Searchers, but while we know Sammy is unique because his method of transformation was different, we never got an explanation for Norman's. It could be that it's a process similar to BatDR's new enemy type that's larger and seems to have bits and bobs stuck to it, but then those big guys seem like the equivalent to Swollen Searchers for the Lost Ones. The Projectionist doesn't really fit the puzzle.

Or at least he didn't.

With the introduction of the Crack up Comics collection, we get three new characters that were definitely designed in the same manner that the Butcher Gang was. Beginning with a corrupt monster forms and then giving way to perfect and pristine rubberhose toon forms.

I'm talking about Miss Twisted, the Brute, and Cameraman.

The villainous trio from the Souper Boris comic strip.

To us it's obvious the artists created them in parallel to Twisted Alice, Brute Boris and the Projectionist, but to the actual canon this actually has a bit of an impact on the Projectionist's existence.

Why, you ask? Because those characters were introduced between 1936 and 1940.

Bendy Crack up Comics table of contents, showcasing the publishing dates of the strips.

For anyone who doesn't know (either from not paying attention to the Joey Drew Studios channel audio logs, or from not owning the books) the Ink Machine wasn't conceptualized or installed until 1942/1943. Putting that into perspective, the only other thing that happened in Joey Drew Studios in 1940, was the conceptualization of Bendyland (which is likely the origin of the idea for the Ink Machine itself).

This means that Cameraman existed well before the Projectionist ever came to be, and that made me think about another thing: The Ink's apparent sentience.

I'll be frank, the Ink is very hard nut to crack. I consider it a form of alchemized entity, others consider it pure black magic, and I'm pretty sure Joey Drew himself had no idea what he was dealing with when he began using it. The fact of the matter is that the Ink is alive and that it has its own agenda. One that coincides with Joey's, out of mutual interest.

In the novels it seems to want to be free, but it can't exactly do that as a formless liquid, so it tries to body-snatch people (ex: Sammy and Buddy's grandpa).

When Joey tries to use it to give life to Bendy through nothing more than using the Ink and a template (likely a character model sheet) the Ink tries to follow the model but immediately becomes a distorted humanoid version of it (which honestly rings so many fucking alarm bells on its own). Things… Escalate there on out, with Joey trying to perfect the method and only managing to succeed through Daniel Lewek (and many other nameless Boris Clones), Allison Pendle and Thomas Connor.

An important thing to take from this, however, is that by trying to perfect this method Joey not only taught the Ink to reshape things into viable referenced material, but that he had to have lost control of just how many souls were being pumped through the Ink Machine for him to monitor and keep up.

Sammy started killing people when he completely turned, and it didn't seem to take long for him to cut down people in likely both the music and art departments. At this point he had no self-restraint and was completely wrapped around inky fingers and Joey's lies.

Norman is one such potential victim, and Dot and Buddy even passed by his ink-wrapped body while fleeing.

Now, the thing about trying to follow a specific guide and not having the actual means to make it exactly the same thing, is an easy enough notion to get (as shows like "Nailed It", and years of trying to perfect visual style mimicry, have taught me).

The Ink likely had the template it needed (maybe a printed copy of Souper Boris that got thrown around in the chaos), the insight of what Norman's role in the studio was, the amount of mass it needed to consume and transform his dead body, but not exactly the right sort of… Centerpiece for it...

Cameraman using his lens to light up his path.

But what's a projector besides a bigger fancier camera? Both blink, both take film, same thing right? The ink doesn't see the difference and just stitches together this humanoid bootleg cameraman with the pieces it finds that are similar enough.

Mechanical blinky head? Check.

Strange round disc near the belly? There's a speaker. That's round! Check.

Film? There we go, a nice big round reel full of film in it, let's put it near the head, that's how it works right? Check.

Lastly, no Joey to actually direct this artistic recreation of a one-off character. The Ink did it all by itself while he was off getting his hand broken by a rightfully upset Buddy Boris.

If you look at it objectively it makes sense that being the projectionist tasked with not only recording and maintaining the projectors themselves, that the entity in the Ink would pick Cameraman as a template for Norman's transformed self.

It also makes sense that the Projectionist is so off-putting in the studio. He's almost perfect, but not quite because there just weren't the right materials. He's stuck in between Twisted Alice and the Butcher Gang clones as another failed recreation.

Moving on to the next question on why Twisted Alice turn Buddy Boris into Brute Boris, when she hadn't done the same to any of the other Boris Clones.

It's hard to say really, but I think it all comes down to who Twisted Alice really is. It's very likely that, as Susie Campbell, she would have knowledge of the comic strips. A few were most likely made into cartoon shorts even (which isn't an unusual assumption to make), and maybe Susie voiced a few background characters for said shorts.

Susie may have lost her role as Alice, but before Joey came to her with his proposition for the "special project" it's very likely that she remained in the studio, forced to do the voices of characters that weren't noteworthy or that she felt completely disconnected from (talking chairs and singing hens really don't become beloved fan-favourites) . Maybe if the Souper Boris story was made into a short, she might have voiced Miss Twisted (which honestly would be personally insulting considering she once had the role of the main heroine).

Point is, Susie knows her lore, and that translates to Twisted Alice's repertoire of insightful knowledge on the abominations lurking around the studio.

She never did turn other Boris clones into brutish lackeys because at the time she didn't need to. But it doesn't mean she hadn't considered it. Henry's disruptive behaviour is just what she needed to put that plan into motion.

There was already a "Cameraman" walking about, one that could easily rip apart anything it came across, so acquiring the means to recreate the "Brute" would have been benefiting from her point of view. The Projectionist doesn't take orders and can't be reasoned with, so if she could make something just as strong that took her orders she could, theoretically, be safe from most terrors in the studio. If that didn't work, she would still likely send others to their death by simply sending them down to Level 14, or maybe lure the Projectionist to them herself (just because he doesn't take orders doesn't mean she can't use him to achieve her end goals).

Miss Twisted, the Brute and Cameraman in their evil swamp lair.

But why Buddy Boris specifically? Why couldn't she have used any of the bodies laying around? Freshness most likely. Rigor mortis is probably still a thing, even for living cartoons. Easier to work a fresh dead body than a bunch of stiff wolves.

That's at least why I think Brute Boris is a thing. Susie's knowledge of most Bendy cartoon/comic strip characters, taking inspiration from the Projectionist's presence, and honestly a very twisted sense of humor and irony. In her quest to become a Perfect Alice, the heroine of the show, she ended up becoming just as antagonistic (although more sadistic) as Miss Twisted, a Bendy comic strip villainess.

#bendy and the ink machine #batim #bendy crack up comics #bendy spoilers #spoilers #theory #headcanons #speculation #twisted alice #the projectionist #brute boris #long post

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 4 years

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Lauren’s Attunement/// The Catharsis of the Dark Diary (Long ass post)

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Ah ... I really don't know how much I could say about this Attunement that I decided to separate into two parts and notice that I am going to deviate a bit from my original intention to make some clear points because there is a lot to get out of what Lauren has said. With that in mind I hope it is not too confusing to read.

First part: Cancellation Culture

I think our moonchild has been perfectly clear on this point. "We are living in a very sick world" "In a world in great need of healing and that will not do so through the culture of cancellation." Cancellation culture sucks, folks. A twisted idea of exposing things from the past of people who have not been good and that people have become accustomed to criticizing as if all those who criticize were a mirror of virtue and perfection when nobody is perfect and Lauren also mentions that in your Attunement. Lauren also mentions that we cannot hold people accountable for their mistakes because it is the most important part of the process. And it is a truth like a cathedral. People who make mistakes need to take responsibility for their actions so that they don't make them again. It is necessary to learn from it and improve as people and heal. In the part where Lauren mentions that she would never publicly embarrass the people she loves, she reminded me of Camila. I did not want to mention Camila in this because we know that Lauren has also been humiliated but if we talk about the cancellation culture that part goes to Camila. Camila has been a victim of the culture of cancellation long before leaving the band and they have made Twitter threads, blaming her with a racist past for which she has apologized many times but still drag her to hell, no matter what. Camila has haters who love to fuck her and Lauren knows it too. She has known it forever and a clear example is (I'm not going to put a screenshot because it would distract me) the tweet where someone calls Camila ugly and Lauren responds to that hater saying: "Hello, can you show me a picture of you? " It is these details that make us understand that everything she sees on the internet in relation to her and her loved ones affects her a lot and what she says when she talks about the online world where we are all the time, is bullshit. She says that it's not that you can't do what makes you beautiful, that she's fine with it, but also the people who are watching don't know that shit is fake and that people aren't happy with who they are. "That when they look in the mirror they don't love themselves." And I think she hit the spot there too, folks. She has perfectly outlined a hater's profile. The lack of love of those people who have found an escape route to their frustrations, to what is wrong with their lives, that makes them what they are. Because as she says, we live in a screwed up world, it's true but the point is, how the hell have we got to this point? How do we get to this point where the human being has lost humanity and has become shadows of hatred and rejection that lives by making Twitter threads and canceling people to feel better about themselves? And then Lauren talks about Trump. She mentions Trump as a symptom of lack of love. And again she is not wrong. Donald Trump's life was never very happy. With an authoritarian father who always preferred his eldest son to follow the legacy of his family and perpetuate the name of it, when this son did not want that pressure, the father banished the eldest son and all the shit fell on Trump. The only other male in the family. Trump is that man's mirror. From that egomaniac, controlling, arrogant, undoubtedly macho and racist father because he has really shown it. Trump lives on appearances. To demonstrate something that is not and to hide its shortcomings in a marked narcissism.

Another thing that strikes me about what she has said and another truth is also that we no longer love each other because we do not know where we are standing. And that is also true, we do not know who we are because others dictate who we are. They dictate what to say, what to eat, what music to listen to, what television series to watch until we become cattle. We have lost our ability as individual beings to fit the mold of livestock just to give us the feeling of feeling connected, as if we were part of something. Part of a whole that is still controlled. From this part Lauren begins to talk about what she has written in her diary so I will continue with the second part, but to close this one, I can only say that many of the things she mentions are a reflection of what we are doing living, of what we are suffering and our own fragility as a human species.

Second part: Black Diary and Amy's Shadow

I think we have a concept of great artists as broken human beings, wrapped in dramas and additions that actually "help" perfectly in their art. Where, the more chaos there is in their lives, the more geniuses they become. And I think Amy can be an example of that. And talking about her, because I'm going to start by talking about her and then I'm going to express my thoughts about Lauren. I remember responding to an ask yesterday saying that I was terrified when Lauren said she felt identified with her because their lives were a kind of parallel. And then I thought better of it and realized that yes, both lives have that parallel but with a difference, Lauren has what Amy never had. An emotional support network. Good friends. Amy's life was marked by rejection, mockery, the circus that was her life where her art was in the background and her voice was shattered to make way for the addicted, alcoholic Amy, where her greatest achievement was to climb to a drugged and drunk stage, with glasses of wine that she drank live and her show was to demonstrate her weakness so that others made fun of her. Her parents perpetuated that shit because it gave them money, and as long as she made money, at the cost of her own physical and mental health, nothing else mattered. Being an artist is not only knowing how to sing, dance, write, paint and be good at all kinds of artistic expression, but it is much more than that. Being an artist is breaking yourself into pieces and giving them to your fans to do with those pieces what they want. It is giving more than what nobody will give you in return. And Amy got broken. They broke her into thousands of pieces and they all jumped like vultures wanting a piece of her until she ceased to exist because they never gave her a chance to rebuild herself. They never gave her a chance to learn to love herself to be able to heal because they didn't want a healthy Amy because that didn't sell. They were only served by her pain because she filled their bank accounts, those of her friends, those of her managers, those of the entertainment tabloids. Those of her boyfriends. The ones from her own fucking parents. And so far we can draw parallels with Lauren. It is possible that our moonchild has had or is having her problems with her mother, or with her record label, or with whatever she is having problems and is dealing with right now, but at least she does not have a family that just supports her and is there for the money she may or may not earn. And yes, she mentioned many fears at first before reading the newspaper, but at least she has had a chance to regroup when she needs to. Lauren has the ability to heal herself, her own will thanks to her own strength. Because even if you are afraid of breaking or feeling pain, you have to feel it. You have to hit rock bottom to learn how to get out of there. You have to go to the extreme of falling enough to know that your own will, your own inner strength is so great that it helps you to rise not only once, but a thousand times if necessary. And she has that ability. I believe and have always said it, you already know it. That the real problem, or part of it, is not Lauren's fragility because that is bullshit. Lauren is a strong girl but at the same time she has this angel, this kind of kindness that really does not go well in an environment as rotten and toxic as the industry. Lauren Jauregui does not fit molds. She cannot follow rules if she considers that they are not fair and that people in the industry do not like because they lose their ability to manipulate it. There is a reason that her song Toy has disappeared, folks. Lauren is still an artist and of course she too falls into the concept of what it means to be an artist, breaking herself into pieces and giving those pieces to us who are her fans. And since we have a piece of it, perhaps we create ourselves with the right to demand more from her because we are not satisfied with what she gives us and we criticize her for it. The worst fans are capable of fucking her and haters are able to write Twitter threads exposing what they hate about her.

That would scare anyone, folks. Even if you are not an artist. There is a Lauren Gif that I posted on the blog as part of a set of images related to Camren. In that gif Lauren looks at the audience with such a raw expression on her face saying something like: "You who are there screaming like crazy, with your perfect lives while I am being pressured to the point of breaking and you just want more" (I put the only screenshot because I don't have the GiF image at hand)

This GiF is something that always caught my attention and since I have known Lauren she knew that there was something else with her. I met her as the bad girl, the bitch one. That image that appeared to conform to Tyren. And then her smile disappeared. I remember when I joined the fandom where one of my first posts about PR circuses was to ask myself: Why do girls look so fucked up? Why is Lauren so sad or why has her smile disappeared? And then there were those weird videos where she seemed like "haunted", like outside of herself and that agreed with the time that she had to stunt for Tyren and always seemed to be the same dynamic with her. And then it was not only me who realized that Lauren was not well, but also other mutuals and we kept repeating the same thing to the bastards on her team: "Lauren is not well, please take care of her " That was something that we repeated a thousand times with Lauren and then also with Camila because it always caught my attention that the two of them were equally fucked at the same time. Before I knew that Lauren had her problems with her family, I also noticed that separation. I think I received a bit of shit after expressing my thoughts but in the end, I was never wrong because Lauren herself has expressed it and I think if I had been in the fandom long before 2018 I would have noticed it too. This has been a very emotional Attunement on Lauren's part and I told her in a tweet, as her fan has been a privilege to have witnessed that. It is a privilege to be a fan of a girl with a huge heart who has flaws that make her more human than other people and who has grown enough to know that she can continue to do so. With this post I have tried to be respectful and say that, although I do not know her, we connect in a special way because we have almost the same way of thinking in many aspects (although I do not agree in many others) and I think that still does most important to me. About the newspaper. It reminded me of the lost diary topic, but apparently she has more than one. Who knows. I remember my period of having diaries in my teens and I appreciate that because it made me realize that writing would be an important part of my life. If there is one way I am good at expressing myself it is writing, and no, not in English so I apologize for the mistakes. There is one last detail of Lauren's Attunement that goes a bit more on the personal side. When she says: "To be a real one, is to be an emotional one". I have always had a conflict with being emotional. Starting with my zodiac sign (yes, I know it's a bit silly to believe in that but it amuses me). As a Pisces, I am an emotional being. As a physically disabled person I have my limitations and although these limitations do not define me, I have always had a fierce fight with my vulnerable side. I hate depending on others, physically and emotionally. I also hate getting sick and others having to take care of me when I'm unable to do it on my own, that's why I don't get along with my emotional side. Excessively emotional and I prefer to be more cerebral in many aspects (I think you have noticed that my favorite word this year has been brainless people, right) and dependency is something that I can't stand on myself. That they depend on me does not matter, I am always for those who need me but being dependent is something I tend to avoid like pests. Relying on others to do things for you, depending on the affection of other people ... my family (except my mother) was never very affectionate to say, it was not impulsively hugging you or public displays of affection and I learned to be the same . But I also learned to give what others did not give me. And it cost me. That of leaving the mold of a family that is there and that sometimes worries but that others can leave you and not know what you are doing on any given day. A family that demands expectations. At least some of my uncles. I think that in that part I feel identified with Lauren and it is curious because I am adopted but she is not. And still I feel identified with Lauren and at the same time with Camila and the relationship that she has with her mother, which is almost an exact copy of the relationship that I had with my mother throughout my childhood and adolescence. I guess that's why I follow them both, apart from because I love the music of both. The last detail and I already stop talking about me because this post is about Lauren. What she talks about the industry, the molds, how female artists within the industry are treated. That was also an important aspect because here we are, always complaining about the fact that female artists are undervalued and punished twice as much as a male artist because the music industry is misogynous and macho. That's true.

Society tends to forgive the mistakes of male artists who sometimes do more reprehensible things than female artists and all the mistakes of those female artists (Leigh-Ann of LM throwing shade at Camila) come to light more times and they are more hated. That is a part of the industry that I have always hated and that makes me sad at the same time because it always affects our girls. And I don't know what else I have left to say that I haven't already said, I hope I wasn't too confused with my ideas but it was something I had to write about and I've taken my time to do that. I don't know if Lauren is ever going to read this, but I wanted to thank her. Thanks moonchild. Thank you for giving us that piece of you that makes you vulnerable so that we know it. Thank you for being yourself, for teaching us that we can heal and continue to grow. Thank you for that beautiful mind of yours that has so much to express and deliver to this screwed up world. Don't stop being real, mija. Don't let that light you have go out. I love you so much moonchild ...

sorry for the long reading, folks but it was something I needed to said.

#lauren's attunement #lauren jauregui #cancel culture #dark diary #amy winehouse #vulnerability #music industry #artists #camila cabello #personal thoughts #long ass post #personal #family issues #co dependency #camren

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penguiduck · 4 years

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Writing Fight Scenes

I’ve had a lot of readers mention that they don’t feel comfortable with fight scenes. Well, that’s understandable. It’s challenging writing about experiences you’ve never had. But with some perspective and practice, you can most certainly work toward writing those fast-paced, heart-pounding scenes with ease.

To give you some background, I practiced competitive martial arts for six years. I competed in tournaments and trained hard to perform well in the ring. It was a contact sport, and even if I wasn’t sparring, training often left me with bruises, usually of the physical nature, sometimes of the emotional persuasion.

This experience gave me a lot of perspective when it comes to writing fight scenes.

Whenever I step into the ring, I have a flexible strategy in mind that combines what I know about myself, my opponent, and what I’m going to learn about them in the next two minutes. I’d like to share some of these thoughts and perspectives with you, and how your character may think before and during a match of their own. Of course, my fighting experience is limited to a contact sport. Your story may very well be far more violent with higher stakes, but strategies may be of similar foundation. Once you take a fight into deeper consideration, aside from the depiction of two fighters merely exchanging blows, you can begin to enrich your writing experience.

I’m including examples from Yu Yu Hakusho because that’s the fandom I write the most for, and as you know, there’s a lot of fighting involved! But remember — anime and writing are two completely different mediums. There's no one narrating everything that our beloved characters are doing on screen. You just see it. That is why you, as a writer, must paint those scenes through words for your readers.

Nevertheless, this advice really stands for any sort of writing, so do with this information what you will.

A well-written fight scene is never about just trading blows. There are other conflicts at play, whether between the fighters or even in the heads of your protagonists.

Allow me to elaborate:

1. Who is your protagonist?

Whenever I am preparing for a sparring match, the first thing I worry about is me. I must be self-aware.

I think about my own fitness. How am I doing? Do I have any existing injuries or ailments? How is my weight? My body type? What are my strengths and weaknesses? What do I have in my toolbox? What techniques do I know? What techniques am I most versed and confident in?

I also think about my overall wellness. Have I been eating well? Drinking water? Sleeping? How is my emotional state of mind? What are the stakes?

Is my uniform clean and pressed? What about my equipment? Headgear? Mouth guard? Shin guard? Did I replace that torn lace?

I recommend using these questions to bring your character’s own reflection to the forefront in whatever way makes most sense for them. How is your character’s fitness? Is she in good fighting condition? Has she been injured previously? What has happened since the last fight that might impact her state of mind?

It’s possible that she’s recovering from an illness or injury. Perhaps her mentor died a gruesome death. Maybe she’s frustrated because she lost use of her right hand, temporarily or permanently, and has had to compensate with her non-dominant hand. Or perhaps she’s lost the will to fight, having experienced something traumatic.

Hiei had to constantly think about his own state of health throughout the Dark Tournament after his fight with Zeru. His arm had been sacrificed to his Dragon of the Darkness Flame, rendered useless, and he was in terrible pain. He never let it impact him, of course, being the stoic warrior he is. His personality allows for little inner dialogue to be shared with the audience, but as a fighter, he was most certainly considering what options he had with his handicap. And, as a writer, perhaps you would like to elaborate on his thoughts for your readers.

What has your character been practicing lately? Is her weapon of choice the same? Has it been upgraded? Has she been training with a different weapon or technique? Is she perhaps nervous about using something new?

Maybe she just repaired her sword, and she’s unsure if it’s as strong as it was before. Perhaps she’s been studying a new technique, and she knows she’ll need to use it in this battle.

Remember when Kuwabara first introduced his spirit sword in Maze Castle? He was so proud of himself, and that whole battle was an introduction to his newfound technique, how he manipulated his sword, and how he was able to harness his spirit energy. It’s far more interesting to see this development and exploration than to just watch him stab at Byakko a dozen times.

My point is that while your character probably should keep her emotions out of the ring, she may not be able to. There are so many things that could be on her mind, plaguing her thoughts, especially if there’s a lot riding on this battle. I think it’s really important to not only acknowledge the physical part of fighting but the emotional toll it can take a fighter, too.

Think about the fight between Yusuke and Toguro. Toguro had just killed Genkai, and Yusuke took that very personally. This was not a simple battle of strength or wits. This was a battle of emotions, and it wasn’t until Yusuke was able to master his feelings and reach beyond that “six foot wall of crap” as Genkai so affectionately calls it that he was able to finally defeat Toguro.

And the catharsis that came from defeating Toguro? It was made all the more powerful because Yusuke went through that emotional journey. It wasnʼt just a fight — it was a calling, a purpose, and a lesson. It was painful and potent, and it made him realize just how much these experiences shaped him as a person.

2. Who is the opponent?

Before I participate in a tournament, I do my research. Who is likely to be competing? Who is in my weight class? What do I know about these competitors? If I don’t have answers, I would find them. I’d chat with my instructor, my fellow martial artists. Has anyone else from my school fought these people before? What were they like? Are there videos online of their performance?

I find as much information as possible. I make calls, send texts, take people out to lunch, scour the internet for information. Even if your character lives in a less technologically dependent world, I would imagine that he might talk with friends, look through old records, listen to gossip and hearsay. He might watch battles leading up to his own fight in an effort to learn more.

And if this pre-work isn’t possible, that’s okay. Fights in your story may be entirely unpredictable, but your character can also learn things about his opponent during the match.

When I step into the ring and ready myself to compete, one of the first things I want to find out is on which side my opponent is dominant. In other words, are they right-handed? Or left-handed? Right-footed? Or left-footed? Maybe they only focus on one side during training (which is silly, but that’s another conversation). But there could be an underlying reason why as well. Perhaps they injured themselves in the previous round or maybe they just don’t like exposing one particular side of their body for whatever reason.

This information is critical because this tells me what I need to watch out for, which side of my own body I should be guarding, how I may penetrate my opponent’s defenses. How can I catch them when they least suspect it? Where can I knock them off balance? My instructor always told me to watch the shoulders — shoulders move before the rest of the body. You can tell what your opponent is about to do by watching their shoulders.

Your character may wish to discover the same thing. Maybe his opponent uses a two-handed sword and is very clearly right-handed. This may give him some information on where his blind spot is — or maybe he just needs to disable his opponent’s right arm. The possibilities are endless, and understanding his opponent will give him leverage, offering him many options.

Understanding an opponent’s technique is also important. In martial arts, practitioners often favor a strategy or skill. This seems obvious, but it’s vital that you understand what it is — only then you can combat it.

Consider Kurama’s matches with Gama and Toya during the events of the Dark Tournament. The English dub did a wonderful job voicing Kurama’s inner conflict during these fights, struggling with first his inability to move and then his imprisoned spirit energy — if you were to put these scenes into writing, explaining his thought process would be fascinating. How does Kurama overcome these obstacles? He seeks to understand his opponents before he defeats them, which, unfortunately, also means he risks injury to himself until then.

Your character’s thoughts about the fight, interpreting for your audience what he feels he might need to do to secure victory, is just as important as detailing the fight itself.

3. What about the writing?

The writing will come once you begin to dissect your characters and their motivations for fighting. Your characters aren’t one-dimensional, or, at least, they shouldn’t be!

Your fight scenes shouldn’t be, either. It’s not about two fighters trading blows. It’s about an artfully curated dance. Two opponents are engaged in a craft that they both know well, and whether they’re fighting to win a tournament or for their very lives, they have reasons and complex thought processes that should make their fight interesting.

There are two players here, and unless the fight is grossly one-sided, they’re both thinking and acting independently of one another. My advice is to thread their actions and consequences together — weave the fight scene as if it’s a stream of conscious thought, separated into paragraphs, each with a shift in perspective, for clarity.

Instead of writing:

Yusuke charged at Kuwabara and punched him in the face. Kuwabara punched him in the mouth. Yusuke then kicked him in the stomach.

Try this:

Yusuke had little patience for Kuwabara’s bad jokes, and he rushed toward him, landing a blow square in the side of his head.

Kuwabara flew backward with a grunt, stabilizing himself before launching himself at Yusuke, returning the favor. His fist collided with Yusuke’s jaw, a blow hard enough to knock the teeth out of any regular human.

Yusuke expected him to retaliate, and although he was nearly knocked off balance, he swung his leg around, making full contact with Kuwabara’s stomach.

You may also find it useful to deviate from the fighting itself. You can speak to a character’s inner dialogue or thoughts, whether about the fight or something else. You may choose to have them begin a brief conversation. Or you may describe what other characters are feeling about the fight as onlookers.

There are many ways to make these fight scenes seamless and interesting — take some time to explore your options!

Just a few more general tips that might help:

If you’re going to use a thesaurus, be mindful about it. I use a thesaurus when I write because I suffer all day, every day from tip-the-tongue syndrome. But words, even if they generally fit the same definition, can have vastly different connotations, so before selecting a word from the thesaurus, do some digging. Look at the exact definition and perhaps Google some common usage. Punch, slap, and stroke do not mean the same thing, even if a thesaurus might say otherwise.

Read your writing out loud. If you’re unsure, this is the best way to understand your cadence, the flow of the battle. Use your best Morgan Freeman or Jorge the Ogre voice.

Consider a beta reader. Sometimes having a second opinion is immensely helpful.

Remember that there are no strict writing rules. You write whatever your heart desires in whatever manner your heart desires. Experiment and explore with different styles and techniques to find whatever works for you.

I hope you find this information useful! Please feel free to suggestion additional blog posts you would like to see from me in the future. ^_^ Of course, please reblog this if you found it helpful!

Pictures are, of course, not mine. They are shots from the anime or other official derivatives.

#YYH #Yu Yu Hakusho #YYH tutorial #YYH fight scenes #Writing fight scenes #Fight scenes #Writing #Writing tips #Writing help #Writing tutorial #YYH resource #YYH fanfic #YYH fanfiction #Writing fighting #Writing how-to #Fanfiction #Fanfiction writing #YYH headcanon

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high-five-of-teenager-trashblog · 3 years

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Discography Discussion: We Hate All Kinds of Violence

If you’ve been following this blog for a while, you probably know quite a bit about H.O.T. I assume you have a favorite member. I bet you’ve heard tracks like “I-Yah” and “Hope”. But I haven’t really discussed the start of H.O.T in depth, nor the discography of their first album. After making you wait so long, let’s talk about how this influential group began.

Before H.O.T

In order to understand why H.O.T was created, we’ve got to understand Korean history.

(Note: As this blog is about one group and the point of this post is to talk about one album, I am leaving out a lot of notable events and people to give you a basic summary of what led to H.O.T.)

Up until 1988, South Korea had been constantly under oppressive political regimes. This oppression extended to music, which limited who could sing and what songs would be allowed to the masses. 1988 is a very important year in Korean history because that was when the country opened itself to the world and hosted the 1988 Seoul Olympics in Jamsil, Seoul. Through various political, economic, and technological changes, Korea was gradually transforming into what it is now. However, music was still largely either patriotic tunes or shallow love songs.

You know what came next. In the spring of 1992 Seo Taiji and Boys debuted. They had mass appeal among young people in Korea because they made music directed to people in Korea that was about their problems. Even though there was management involved with the group, it was entirely under the control of Seo Taiji - not some executive who dictated what the group could say and do. Also, they were not the first group in Korea to use rock music or rap, but the way Seo Taiji combined different genres and styles was very different - and very appealing. Bland dance and pop music produced by large broadcasting companies weren’t going to cut it anymore.

Generally speaking, whenever there is some kind of innovation, businesses and investors crop up looking to make a profit. The Korean music industry is no different. The rise of Seo Taiji and Boys created this essential question: Could a company recreate Seo Taiji and Boys?

The answer came in 1996.

H.O.T Pre-Debut

Before SM Entertainment, there was SM Studio. It was Lee Sooman’s first serious venture into starting a music company. In 1990, Hyun Jinyoung debuted as the first artist in the company and led to the start of several careers. Lee Sooman eventually signed on other artists, such as Yoo Youngjin in 1993.

However, Lee Sooman had seen the Japanese system of training idols and wanted to adapt that for Korea. Some things came out of this and became standardized in K-Pop (to some extent), such as idols of the same group living together and going through training for a period of time. This also changed how artists were managed and signed on. It went from being like MGM during Hollywood’s Golden Age to the “factory” idea we know now.

The first idols (and lab rats) for this were H.O.T. Kangta was the first to be recruited for his voice when Lee Sooman heard him sing at Lotte World. Heejun was asked to audition due to his ability to dance, sing, and write music. Woohyuk passed his audition as he was also a talented dancing. Jaewon’s recruitment isn’t well-known other than that he gained points for his visual appeal, however, sometimes people make claims that he was previously friends with Heejun and yet aren’t able to provide credible sources (at least that I’m aware of). Tony, however, auditioned with his friend Andy in LA and was voted in by the other four members. Lee Sooman has said that Tony didn’t have much going for him, but he recruited him because he thought the teenager would work hard. Together, these five were everything the public wanted.

Before H.O.T debuted, they were seen in public. Heejun and Kangta were dancers for Yoo Youngjin, and Jaewon and Woohyuk joined them later (I’m not sure if Tony did, however, considering how late he joined). The group even performed their debut song at a festival at Heejun’s high school. They were generating hype and ready to begin.

The We Hate All Kinds of Violence Album

H.O.T debuted on Sept. 7th, 1996. Their first album was called We Hate All Kinds of Violence. The cover art shows a person sitting on a step with their head in their arms in a way that usually denotes sadness or despair while wearing uniform with a hat that says “Workers”. The combination of group name, album title, and album artwork set the tone of the album at a glance as being geared towards teenagers. This was a smart move on SM’s part. Seo Taiji and Boys had disbanded earlier that year, so there was a void in the music industry that needed to be filled, and H.O.T seemed to fit the bill for a lot of young people in Korea.

Warrior’s Descendant

Their debut track was “Warrior’s Descendant”. Just hearing that title tends to interest people even before they hear the actual song. It gives off the impression that the song is about someone who has a fighting spirit like their ancestors, even if they themselves aren’t soldiers.

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Lyrics (DISCLAIMER FOR THIS SECTION: TW: BULLYING)

The lyrics themselves are about bullying. The opening words are, “Ah~ Why are you hitting me?” (Lyrics Source) From there the lyrics are presented as though by the victim themselves asking why they’re being beaten up. Parts of the song seem to indicate that this isn’t a one-off thing, it’s something that’s been going on for a long time:

You changed me without a guilt You hit me Once we were friends You ruined me

I was beaten like a stupid idiot I lost everything and was roaming around Now with sounds of punch, steal and breaths My heart was torn already because of my lost friends

However, this person seems to believe that someone will save them and that this won’t go on forever.

It's time to stop, The violence, hate, and all the mess, It's about time someone should stand for what is right, That is right

Now I want my future that I've been dreaming of I think of everything can be back as it was before I trusted you I trust you once more Save me Someone someone can

Unfortunately, the song ends with the realization that no one is going save them. That someone can save them, but no one does.

Someone someone can,someone someone can, That I know it, That I know it, That I know it, Can Can That I know it, Someone someone someone someone someone can, someone can, someone can, someone can can can can can, But I know it won't happen, Now I give up everything; I have because of you. They ruined me, They took it all even my last hope You became my enemy and now I give you up They ruined me, They took it all even my last hope. I look for the hope; It's nowhere Now I'm gonna punish myself.....

The worst part of this is that the victim seems to be blaming themselves. They seem to think that they were at fault so they are going to give up. The last line itself, “Now I’m gonna punish myself” is especially troubling.

While you might have been hoping there would be a happy ending, this song wasn’t meant to have one. For a debut song that was supposed to target teenagers, this was a perfect introduction. Bullying is common everywhere, but it’s especially bad in Korea. If you’ve been a fan of K-Pop or K-Dramas for a while, you’ve probably heard a lot about this.

I think the reason why the song ends on a hopeless tone is because the song verbalized what a lot of kids and teenagers in that position probably feel like. Considering how many people follow this blog, I assume that at least one person reading this has been (or is currently being) bullied, so these words probably resonate with you.

And that is the point of “Warrior’s Descendant”, as it targets two groups of people. The first group of people are the ones being bullied, as it tells their point of view. The second group are the bystanders, as it calls them out for not doing anything about it. It calls for these two groups of people to look at each other and see that this isn’t just something that happens, bullying is a choice. The point of the lyrics is to tell people who are bullied that what they’re going through isn’t right, and to tell people to stop being a bystander and do something. This song was a call to action.

Also, the beginning of this song tends to get used in variety shows. However, I don’t think I’ve ever seen it used to match up with the context of the lyrics. Next time you hear this song somewhere, you might want to take note of the feeling the song brings to the situation it’s used for.

(End of bullying discussion)

This was actually the first song Yoo Youngjin produced, and led to his long and successful career with composing and producing music at SM Entertainment.

The MV

The music video itself shows a story between cutting to H.O.T singing and dancing. The MV opens with a teenage boy looking up while bloody, then cuts to people walking away from him - great hook. It quickly cuts to the night before when the guy was walking with a girl while carrying his violin case. Three guys around his age come and beat him up, and then go after the girl. When the guy sees the girl being targeted, he gets up to fight them off of her and she tries to defend him as well. It ends with the teenager bloody in the daylight with his broken violin. Maybe it’s just me reading into things, but it looks like the guy got beat up in the alley and then possibly got dragged to a school due to the building in the background.

It also has a very 90s style to it. Their outfits were purchased by the members themselves - I don’t know if SM had a stylist who told them what to get or if they were just given free reign, but they did have to pay for them. In addition to the outfits, there were some hallmarks of the time period in the music video, such as graffiti, which was a very popular aesthetic in the 90s and can also be seen in Turbo’s “Black Cat” MV.

Also, even though I haven’t heard anyone else agree with me on this, I personally feel like “Warrior’s Descendant” sounds like “Come Back Home” by Seo Taiji and Boys due to the vocals, instrumental, and tone. Considering that H.O.T was largely created as a response to Seo Taiji and Boys, I think it’s quite possible that recalling the other group was intentional.

However, “Warrior’s Descendant” is simultaneously where Seo Taiji and Boys ends and H.O.T begins.

Candy

Does this song really need an introduction? Probably not, so I’m just going to jump into it. This is H.O.T’s most well-known song and is beloved by many people even years later. It was also their golden ticket and get-out-of-jail-free card throughout their time promoting together.

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This music video is iconic for so many reasons.

First up, the location is perfect for such a bright song. It was filmed at Lotte World in Jamsil, Seoul.

Now, you might be thinking to yourself, “Jamsil? I’ve heard of that place before” and you would be correct! That’s where the 1988 Seoul Olympic Games took place, and it’s also a huge part of H.O.T’s history. They had their 918 concert there in 1999, their last concert there in 2001, and their reunion concerts have been there because of the 2001 concert as well.

As for Lotte World itself, it’s one of the major theme parks in South Korea. H.O.T filmed in front of the famous merry-go-round and various other sites around the park. Fun fact: this is also where the drama “Stairway to Heaven” was filmed at.

When I was in Korea, I visited Jamsil quite a few times and it was one of my favorite places. You have no idea how excited I was when I went to the Olympic Park and saw the stadium in person. I also got the chance to visit Lotte World and ride on the merry-go-round, as well as walk on the outdoor bridge they danced on. If you’re an H.O.T fan, I highly recommend going there.

Choreography

The dance for this song is very iconic because it’s bouncy and fun. When I say bouncy, I mean that literally considering as Heejun’s favorite dance move involves him bouncing on the ground.

Trademark Colors

If you’ve been a fan of K-Pop for a while, you probably know that a lot of groups have their own color. The first group that had an official fan color (to my knowledge) was Seo Taiji and Boys, and their color was yellow. However, colors became more of a big deal for K-Pop groups because of H.O.T.

H.O.T’s official color is white, which is why you tend to see them wear white suits and their light stick is white. However, they also have an official color for each member. Heejun is yellow, Woohyuk is blue, Tony is red, Kangta is green, and Jaewon is orange. If you see merch of the group, you’ll often see these colors being heavily associated with each member, and you’ll often see fans cheering with their individual color as well as white.

These colors helped the public to easily identify who was who when they were rookies.

They also had different accessories. Woohyuk had his floppy hat with eyeballs attached to it - that can be seen on that light stick he teased. Kangta had a bag. Tony had a hat. Jaewon had earmuffs - which was a win because it was getting to be cold when this track was released. Heejun, however, had a visor which he hated due to it not keeping him warm in the winter, nor cool in the summer. Their fluffy outfits also endeared them to the public because of how cute they were.

Lyrics

So now that we’ve talked about all the visuals, let’s talk about what “Candy” itself is about. First off, the lyrics to this song are so painfully 90s and cheesy. The story is this: a guy plans on going on break (or breaking up) with his girlfriend because he realizes he’s not the best boyfriend and their relationship isn’t doing great. He literally decides that suddenly when he wakes up in the morning - you can’t make this up.

To be honest with you I want to see you today to talk about us to tell you that I need some space Please understand me I’m telling you that it was a difficult decision Actually, I thought of it this morning

He admits that it’s something he needs to work on and says:

I will need to change myself Without your knowing it I’ve compared you to other girls

There’s a part of the lyrics that are very angsty and dramatic.

When I dream about us each time the dream would vanish and I am left by myself Crying so pathetic stuck in this position I decided I’m leaving you! I’m leaving you! Although I still love you I will leave I will forget and stop loving you As I look to the sky above me I told myself I must keep my heart cold towards you

However, he eventually realizes that even though their relationship needs work, he loves her and actually doesn’t want to be apart from her.

I love only you I said this to you All that I had prepared to say turned backwards I’ll always be by your side

It finishes up with Kangta saying this:

I’ll always be by your side You’ll never be alone again I’m here next to you

The conclusion the songs comes to is this: There can be problems with your relationship, but if you really love them and want to stay with them, you need to communicate and work on making your relationship better.

Also, don’t make huge decisions rashly - I think that should be the big takeaway from this.

Like “Warrior’s Descendant”, this song is also used on variety shows quite a bit. I’ve even heard it called, “The Perfect Song for Valentine’s Day”. Considering the context of this song is essentially about a breakup (until the end), I have my doubts when it’s used on broadcasts that are trying to hype up a love line.

(Lyrics Source)

The Candy Consequence

Earlier I mentioned that “Candy” was their golden ticket. Now that you understand the song itself, let’s talk about why it is that way.

“Warrior’s Descendant” was very serious and geared towards teenagers. “Candy”, however, took their popularity and gave H.O.T a family-friendly reputation. It was the perfect combination of cute guys, a sweet song, and iconic visuals that helped the general public to differentiate them from other groups at the time.

While Seo Taiji and Boys were massively popular with Korea’s youth, they were often thought of as being rebellious, especially since they famously criticized various aspects of Korea - such as the education system.

If you’ve read my other Discography Discussions, you’re well-aware of what H.O.T has done over the years. However, unlike Seo Taiji and Boys, they weren’t as censored or thought of as being nearly as problematic. Why? Look no further than “Candy”.

The popularity “Candy” has is two-sided. On one side, it’s annoying because people (especially newer or international fans) tend to associate them with it, instead of the rest of their discography. On the other side, because people associate them with it first, they tend to be more forgiving (and ignorant >.>) whenever H.O.T released tracks that were full of profanity or violence.

While “Candy” is quite different from most of their other popular tracks, it was the one that allowed H.O.T to rise to heights no one had been expecting.

Other Tracks of Interest

You’re Fast, I’m Slow - This tends to be one of those songs that H.O.T fans know because it gets used in compilations and as background music. The lyrics themselves are about a girl hitting on a guy and trying to make their relationship go at a faster pace than what he’s ready for. He’s asking her to slow down so that they can have a good relationship. They’re just friends, but the girl clearly wants to be more.

A day or two has passed and you've changed too much You kept catching me off guard with your "non-PG" questions You teased me, saying that I didn't have any courage and I was such a boring guy

And before y’all ask, yes, he’s into her. Warning: Explicit

But you don't know my heart I want all of you Don't rush it too much I want to show you my heart slowly

I want to have you, Something that I've deeply wanted If you give me another chance, I'll take you tonight

I'll make you feel real good Even make you groan & moan like I know you should

Remember how I said “Candy” allowed them to get away with more explicit stuff? “You’re Fast, I’m Slow” is Exhibit A. Yoo Youngjin is too obvious sometimes.

(Lyric Source)

Your Image in the Sunset - This is basically your standard breakup song. I’m just pointing it out because I love the instrumental and how this song sounds, tbh. It really gives off a 90s feeling.

Another Stressful Day - This song is about a guy who has a hangover and has to get to work. The kicker is that the members were too young to legally drink when this came out. Considering that the guy on the cover is wearing a work uniform, it is possible that true context of the image is that he is hungover, not upset due to some violent circumstance.

The Age of Individual Characteristic - This song has a great message about self love and not judging people by their appearances alone.

just because you think you're ugly, don’t just sit at home staring into a mirror, accept a new change - find a unique characteristic about yourself..

please, don’t let love follow changing fashion.. don’t let it change.. a male wearing tight short shorts with long hair and a female wearing torn long jeans with a 'sports cut' hair.. lets help each others individual characteristics prevail..

(Lyrics Source)

About Women - This is the final track on the album. It’s basically H.O.T saying that they don’t understand women, but they respect them. It starts out with talking about stereotypes men have for women, and then goes into arguing about it. However, these are the parting words H.O.T concludes the track and the album with:

Women sometimes make our lives hard and confusing, but we have to remember they're not toys, They're not toys but real deep beings...

(Lyrics Source)

Conclusion

We Hate All Kinds of Violence was an excellent start for H.O.T’s career and a new era of Korean music. It was an album for teenagers by teenagers. Although a lot of their work has been forgotten over the years, it is certainly an important artifact that waits to be discovered by those it speaks to.

Where to listen to the album: iTunes Spotify

#h.o.t #high-five of teenager #kpop #k-pop #old kpop #Moon Heejun #kangta #Jang Woohyuk #lee jaewon #tony ahn #tw: bullying

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