#i could talk about my characters all day forever
Text
strong enough | J. Jungkook (3)
<series masterlist
pairing: Jungkook x (f) reader
genre/tags: idol! Jungkook, idol! reader, idiot exes to lovers, slow burn ; k-drama feels (our beloved summer but not at the same time), angst, drama, fluff, smut
warnings: foul/explicit language, alcohol consumption, unhealthy coping mechanisms, feelings of helplessness, insecurities; commitment issues & emotionally constipated characters, panic attacks, reader is harsh towards Jungkook, Jungkook is a meanie!, mentions of old abuse (major trigger warning!!), talk about blood and wounds
w.c: aproxx 11.2
series summary: you and Jungkook have too many personal problems, during and after your relationship and it keeps getting brought up. you both had tried multiple times to ignore the fact you were both struggling mentally and physically due to your workplace, but you always run back to each other. maybe one day, one day you'll get back to each other, with all your problems handled, maybe not. all you want is for him to shine like he always does, all he wants is you.
a/n at very bottom!
To my love, my forever. You will soon find out the reason why I am the way am I. Give me some time, my love, I will express everything and more to you. Soon, you’ll have everything once I am able to love and care for myself the way I want to do to you. You deserve everything and more than what I could ever give you, and I will be there for you always. I may never give you this, I may never allow you to read this. But just know, you mean so much to me. Even if I’m a pain in the ass, or if I piss you off, you will always be the person who helped me want to change for the better. I know it may seem like i’m leaving you behind, but pushing you away is the best way for me and you to be able to find ourselves. Once we are settled and ready, I will never let you go, ever again. Mark my words, use them against me, but I know that once you let me in, I’ll never leave your side ever again. You’re my one and only, forever. You are my future, my light, the person who drags me to be right. You mean so much to me and more. But for now, let me go to become the one that deserves your love and wellbeing. Take care of yourself, Jungkook, you will do many good things in life, with or without me.
“i think you should give it to him,” one of your members slur out, making your already wobbly head tilt up to her as she hiccups for the 5th time that same hour, you sighed and your head pounded as your squinted tightly to look at her, “seriously! i think he would want closure that way,”
Jungkook definitely did. he knew that when you wrote letters, you meant every little thing. he knew something happened between you and your ex, his name is like a slap in the face to you, and he could always notice.
his hands started to shake as he continued to read your note, he didn’t know how you came all the way to his house just to ring the door bell and drop it off. he was even shocked to notice his name in your handwriting on the top of the note. he wasn’t mad about it, he was just so, so sad. his eyes burned as another drop fell onto his lap. Jungkook knew it was for the best, but why does it hurt so bad and why does he feel like he’ll never get better while you do?
Jungkook didn’t want to think that way, but he did. he always did, he hurts to see you go but hurts even more to see you shine without him. he kept all your little notes in a box, he was really considering giving it back to you since it was at some of your most vulnerable times. he wouldn’t want to keep these just in case he snoops through them, like he’s doing right now as he was putting the other note in there along with the tons of others.
one of them wrote a song that you made about him, him never leaving you and the way you love him. it breaks his heart more, knowing that you’re no longer around, and that he just keeps fucking up.
when you wake up the next morning, your hungover member told you about a box she found outside the door step with your name on it, your ears ring as you stand in front of the box sitting on your bed, biting the inside of your cheek because this was Jungkook’s box. it had a polaroid of the two of you with shots in your hands on his balcony last summer. it was his favorite picture of you both and wanted to keep it with all the letters you even written him.
you pace around your room for like and hour, biting your lip and running your hand through your hair to calm yourself down. it finally felt like you guys were officially over, no matter how many times you’ve broken up. when you opened it finally, there was a new one, one you definitely didn’t write. you don’t even remember going to his house and giving him the one you were gonna keep for your sake.
it was Jungkook’s hand writing, you knew it from the back of your palm, literally as you have a tattoo that he gave you himself. it read,
forever
and looking at it makes you sick. you felt like crap anytime you thought of him, what you had put him through, all the stuff he doesn’t know about you. you knew him so well, but did he actually even know you, truly? it made you want to cry, the tears lining your waterline and you fight the urge.
you give yourself time before opening up his letter, preparing yourself for the worst or to cry. when you start reading it, you felt like he was there with you. it felt as if he was pacing around your room, looking you dead in the eyes and telling you everything you’ve been wanting to hear, but at the wrong time.
I miss you a lot, I know I say that a lot, but it’s true. I’m glad you wrote me this, I’m glad you’re trying to find ways to open up to me, I’m glad you love me. You are my everything, I want what’s best for you, and if it’s not me then so be it. You deserve the whole fucking world, and I hope you know I tried so hard to give it to you. Maybe, in the long run, we can be happy together. Maybe we can be able to know each other truly, I always wanted to. I believe in right person, wrong time, because you’ll forever be my person, even if i’m not in the picture. I love you, ______, I always will.
you wanted to sob, you didn’t even know what to do. you had dropped the note off not expecting anything back, but getting everything back? even a letter from him, confessing how much he loves and cares for you. you didn’t know how to feel, if it was closure or not. to you, yours was supposed to be. his, his was a love letter, you’ll never let go of it.
you had one more promotion for you group, and you had to prepare in so many ways. you had to practice tons, and practing handling your emotions until you’re a zombie to what you truly feel, you couldn’t handle being around Jungkook for long. it’s crazy, how much you used to look at him thinking you’d never do anything to hurt him, yet you’re over here making him suffer because you are in your head. it tears at the deepest parts of you, and it makes you feel so much at once.
so when it came to the event, you felt your knees lock when you saw him sitting with his team. he looked breathtaking, and it sucks that you can’t look at him for long before you cry because he looks too good. Jungkook always looked good, but whenever you wanted to ignore him, it’s like he knows and wants to look that fine. you gulp hard because walking to over your assigned seats, a couple seats back behind them but at an angle to a way that you can see every part of Jungkook, his hands and thighs especially.
ones that put you through hell, sent you to another universe is what he would of said and has said before, smoking off your balcony as you sat on his lap with your legs shaking trying to not fall off. he laughed as he smacked your thighs, watching them shake more as you practically whine in soreness.
he took another puff off his cig before putting it down on his designated ash tray, but even knowing you didn’t smoke, he kissed you hard, forcing the hot smoke into your mouth and through your pipes, allowing him to do anything to you because you were obsessed with everything he did.
“fucked you out, huh, princess?” he said against your ear as he gave you a second to breathe, making you almost choke as his hand started to move down and between your thighs, giving them a squeeze before going deep between them to touch you where you shook the most.
let’s just say, the memory had your legs close tightly together. the thought of how much have gave you that night, it made you miss him even more for just taking care of you like he said he would. you could feel it starting to stick against your skin, immediately wanting to go to the bathroom.
you thought you were stable enough to walk down the stairs in front of all the idols and fans including, instead you almost dropped face first into the steps instead someone’s hand wrapped around your waist and around the inside of your thigh, gripping it hard as they held you from falling to your death infront of thousands of people.
“your shoes too big for you, baby?”
you really thought you were going crazy, that his presence was just teasing you. but as your eyes dragged themselves down to the hand around the inside of your thigh, you weren’t going crazy. the tattoos proving who the man really was and how his thumb was very close to your throbbing clit. you shivered before quicking bowing at him once you leave his grip and speed walking towards the exit.
the moment you got alone in a hallway, you looked around before pulling out your phone to text your leader where you were going to be, the bathroom, before you hear a door open behind you. you go to put your phone away, but a tight grip around your waist turns you towards the person, your phone falling on to the floor and your mouth to open up, perfect for the attacker to kiss you hard.
another hand grabs your hair and you immediately knew who it was based on the way he was holding you. he knew, and knew it was because of him. that’s all your thought about when his lips were softly against yours, until you felt his hands creeping up. he just knew how to distract you from the facts and knows how to get you to enjoy his attack.
“can we talk soon, princess?” he whispers lowly in your ear once he pulls away from your now desperate lips trying to reach his. you whimper at the nickname, one that just rolls off his tongue in such a degrading way, he grabs your chin softly, turning your face to face him. his eyes invited yours, and the longer you looked into them, the more you felt entranced by him.
“talk about what?” you sighed into his hold, which he notices and gives you your favorite smile in the whole world. it hard to ignore his hands gripping your waist, your hands clinging onto his dress shirt as he holds you, you didn’t expect to be in this position.
“we will talk later tonight, i’ll pick you up?”
“how, with what car-”
“i’ll figure it out, anything for you,” he presses his forehead against yours, making your eyes squeeze shut as he lets out a little chuckle because of your reaction to his proximity being so close to you, you could almost feel his breath against your lips. “you know i’ll do whatever i need to do to see you, i will figure out a way to see you later tonight, bunny, i promise,” he kisses your nose softly before letting you go without your even realizing he picked up your phone for you, a smile across his face as you nodded your head for him.
Jungkook didn’t give you a time, or a place to when he was going to pick you up. before you left the event, you had asked him what he was planning on doing with you and he just told you that you’ll have to wait and find out. Jungkook knew how to make you worry about what could happen. what should you even wear? is he taking me somewhere to eat? it’s kinda late for that-
doink
something just hit your window as you were pulling your pants up, you almost tripped in shock but managed to pull them up and fix yourself before going to your window. there he was, the man of your dreams, the love of your life, standing down there searching for more rocks to toss at your window.
you cracked your dorm room window open, not even wanting to question how he managed to get over the brick wall to get into the dorms, and he smiles when he sees your head peaking from the bottom of the window. he pats his hands on his thighs while you watch him with curiosity.
“get down here bunny, we have a lot to do tonight,” he stood up straight, hands put in his pockets as he stared off at you. you would of jumped right there into his arms after that nickname, you almost whined before nodding your head like an idiot and shutting your window.
you managed to sneak out, grabbed your shoes at the front and headed out from the back blind spot and running to where Jungkook stood, his hands tucked in his pockets to stay warm. his left arm raised so you could wrap your arm around it, a habit of the both of you. you just ignored the bad feelings and wrapped your arm around his, feeling his arm tighten around yours as you both started to walk to the car.
“you gonna tell me where we’re going, Jeon?” you tilt your head, your left knee against his center console as your left side rested on his passenger seat. his hand slid up to your knee, leaving you in shock as he gripped it in warning.
“stop asking questions, baby,” he tapped his finger on your knee, not even bothering to look your way. you huffed as you closed your eyes, trying to ignore his thumb moving against your thigh now, his hand resting against it too.
“Jungkook, you know we can be doing this again. i know you remember what happened last time,” you warned, your head felt like it was spinning, none of this felt real. Jungkook bit his lip ring in thought, he just wanted to talk to you and apologize. he always wants to talk to you even if he’s been rude.
“______, what do you think i’m going to do to you tonight?” he spoke deeply, it sent waves through your spine, and down to your poor kitty. it’s crazy, what this big eyed man can do to you with only his hand on your thigh while he speaks to you like your his.
“i- i don’t know, what are you asking me? i’m just confused why you’re doing this-”
“what do you want me to do to you tonight, baby? is there something else bothering you that only i can fix?” his hand rubs your inner thigh, occasionally softly squeezing the skin closest to where you needed help the most. “i’ll do whatever you want me to do to you, you just have to speak up, darling. is that okay? can you do that for me, princess?”
you almost moaned, gasping at his eagerness to help you with whatever you want, and you knew he meant that. “Jungkook, we can’t be doing thing again, as much as we want to-”
“fuck that and fuck no contact, we were doing good as fuck the last time we were friends. can we not be friends, baby?”
“that’s why! you keep calling me my favorites, you can’t do that to me..” you whined, you wanted to hide away as he giggled at how you whined. when the car slowly starts to come to a stop, you got reminded that the whole time you were talking to him, getting teased by him, he was driving. “Jungkook… where are we?”
“let me help you out and show you,” he smiled, and you just knew that you had to trust him, why? because he’s Jeon Jungkook, why wouldn’t you trust the love of your life?
when he open your door, hand already reaching for his as he helped you out of the car, the smell of salt hit your face in a whiff, making you smile at the moment you had at this beach with Jungkook. but why here? why did he want to talk here?
you didn’t trust your voice, watching his open his back door to grab a blanket and cigs, which you thought he quit, with a lighter and a flashlight. you didn’t say a word as you hugged onto his arm as he walked to a specific place, your guys place. the place where he gave you head for the very first time, you found sand up there for at least a day after that.
“do you trust me, sugar?” Jungkook asked you, tugging you to sit next to him on the blanket over the cold sand at the dark lonely beach. it’s like he knew what you were worried about, could you trust him again? it’s not like he broke your trust, it’s about you trusting yourself around him. if anything besides talking happens tonight, and you guys become exactly what you were afraid of becoming, you won’t know what to do with yourself.
it’s a bit selfish you thought, as his hand rested against your shoulder as you snuggled against his neck, breathing in only Jungkook and a little bit of salt. you loved this, but it couldn’t get any farther than this. just small, and slight, touches and sometimes kisses, only at certain times. the sound of the waves crashing tingled your ears, debating if you should listen to his heartbeat or not.
“do you know why i want you out here with me tonight, baby?” his voice vibrated your cheek as he spoke, his fingers gliding against the thin fabric of your long sleeved shirt. you hummed, you felt him swallow before you moved your head to face him.
“i wouldn’t have asked you that a million times in the car, Jungkook,” he smiles when your eyes finally reach his. he used to ask you, what did you see when you looked into his eyes? you usually just laughed it off or ignored the question, but now you think you know the questions answer. Home. in other words, Jungkook was your confort, the one you would go to, the one who makes you feel the safest, the one who keeps you feeling warm. Jungkook was your favorite.
Jungkook leans in, you can almost feel his breath against the wind, you almost forget where you are when you look deeply into his eyes. he leans so close to you that you could almost kiss him. you feel his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you closer- and closer to him, until your hovering above him.
you looked down at him, his hand sliding down your waist and on to your thigh to swing your leg over his body. he’s got you now, almost spread wide for him as his eyes glazed your entire body, making your shiver.
“let’s that about why you were so wet when i caught you from eating shit in front of everyone today, huh? or maybe… why you’re so wet right now, was it from the car ride? you just couldn’t wait, hm? baby?” he smacked your thigh, and you almost whimper at his words, “sit down on me, love. you know you want to. i’ll do anything you want me to, just let me in this one or more times and you won’t regret it this time,”
oh boy, you were in for a ride. baby, princess, sugar, darling, bunny, love. hearing that one burned, deeply in two places. your poor heart as you feel his hands grip your sides, and your poor throbbing cunt that it about to get slammed onto his hard on resting below you. either or, you know you’re safe and whatever happens can be dealt with. why? because you’re with Jeon Jungkook, why wouldn’t it be fine?
a/n: holy shit, this took forever and i sincerely apologize!! i love how this episode turned out and i will give you guys a slight warning! spicy scenes are coming up and I’m not backing down from this. it will be the dirtiest, most greatest- yeah! anyways, thank you for your patience, i love you all🥹
taglist: @loumin908 @heartjiminie @cuntessaiii @parkinglot-nights @minsoa97kor @jkgirlfr @lavendersugarplum @gaebestie @whoa-jo @kp0pficdump @yunholuv @skzthinker @shwkoqp18 @veemegatron @kaiparkerwifes @alextgef @nerdycheol @nightappple @nlr1606 @chl0buggy
if your tag isn’t gray, please fix your settings so i can tag you next time love!
#hyukaslvr#writers on tumblr#kpop fyp#kpop writers#bts#bts fanfic#jungkook bts#bts x reader#bts smut#bts army#bts fic#bts x y/n#bts x you#bts x fem!reader#bts x army#jungkook fluff#jungkook angst#jungkook imagine#jungkook smut#jungkook fanfic#i love jungkook#jeon jungkook#jungkook#bts jungkook#jungkook x y/n#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jeon jungkoooook#kpop smut#kpop x reader
90 notes
·
View notes
Text
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ ഒ ㅤ݂ㅤㅤ𝖿𝖾𝖾𝗅ㅤ-ㅤᧉ᥎ı𝗅ㅤㅤ 𝓢𝗉𝖾𝖼𝗂𝖺𝗅ㅤ ⠆ㅤ
╲ㅤ 𝖮𝖴𝖱 ㅤ✬ ㅤ𝖨𝖬𝖯𝖴𝖱𝖨𝖳𝖨𝖤𝖲 (Gojo x Reader)
Unfinished Fanfiction. ‹𝟹 High Chance of Re-writing.
Word Count: 2783
AU: Older Sister of Maki Zenin x Arranged Marriage with Gojo Satoru.
Thank you for 100 followers !! ₍ᐢ‥ᐢ₎ Until school is over, my uploading time will not exist, or will exist and you'll be hit with a surprise.
The few times you had visited your family home were kept short, as you disliked being associated with such a violent group that’s been around for more than a decade. You did not realize how much the building had changed until you stood in front of it, the day you returned from abroad to pay your family a visit and because you were demanded to return. The grip you had on the handle of your suitcase tightened as you were guided by the entrance staff towards the door to the huge building that stood four stories high.
“We’ll handle your luggage.” Commented the staff member for the third time, the past times you had refused allowing them to handle your luggage, but apparently, they did not take the polite no you had given. Not wanting to cause chaos early, you let go of your suitcase, allowing them to take it away.
You continued your steps up to the front door of the main building, but the door was already opened, the backs of your relatives clearly visible from where you stood.
“She’s here!” Shouted an excited Mai who came to your side to greet you, her enthusiasm filling the entire room while the others remained sat, silent, with an extremely serious expression on each of their faces. This included your younger sister, Maki who sat on the edge of the table, her legs crossed against each while her eyes narrowed at her twin sister who was busy dragging your hand into the living room area. Once there, Mai’s grip on your hand remained, almost as if she was showing off her new collection with the way she grinned.
The awkward silence that followed made you wonder what you were doing back in front of all of these people, it brought back the uncomfortable sensation that you had wanted to forget forever, if you could. Now sat, you waited for them to speak, but they stole glances at each other, almost as if they were playing a game with their eyes. All this happening while Mai sat down on the armchair, her hands in front of her while expressing the confusion you also visibly expressed.
“A kid ate Sukuna’s finger, it’s causing problems with the Gojo clan, and they haven’t found a solution yet.” Maki’s voice overpowered the others, the clear annoyance echoing in the way she spoke, the long stretch and emphasizing how the three clans had not found a solution. You’d think all of them would have one person who came up with something, even if it sounded ridiculous or impossible, but there was nothing.
“What does that have to do with me?” You wondered before pausing. “I must apologize, I thought there was an important family meeting that needed my attendance. From the way the letter was written, it was either I attended or everyone would die.” This was not a joke, even if you wanted to phrase it as such, they did word the letter with an obvious dramatic effect.
“This is about everyone’s safety, it could possibly end the world.” Naoya commented, his voice cracking with such a subtle hint of sarcasm.
“You meant our clan, right, princess?”
The sudden comment made the room turn awkward again, but this time it was clear they had another intention of making you come back in such a short notice, practically lying to you about the reason, which wasn’t that out of character for them, but had to be mentioned, and now they could not speak. This was an issue because the Zenin family could not handle a single family meeting without tables being thrown, someone being hurt, and roofs collapsing. That was how uncivilized they were, and you couldn’t even make that nonsense up.
“We’re talking about Itadori, right?” Mai asked the room, but was met with glares from the elders of the room, but Maki’s expression remained the same. “He has an awful shade of pink as his hair colour, he’s a very cheerful kid, and he’s horrible at combat.” Mai continued to talk, her eyes shifting from you to Maki, almost as if she was tempted to tease Maki.
“He has a lot to learn, is all.” Maki responded, her slender fingers pushing her glasses towards her eyes as she spoke.
Mai shrugged her shoulders, jumping off from the armchair before picking up her bag which was lying beside the chair the entire time, but you did not notice. “We have a meeting to attend, right, Maki?” Maki said nothing, just grabbed her bag and headed out the back door with her hair swaying back and forth.
“Y/N, do you want to come?” Your confused expression must’ve answered her questions. “It’s a meet, Maki sees it as a competition. Master Utahime says this will help us improve, but I doubt that we’ll have to do anything. Those students are so bad, especially their first years. Maki is just lucky to be in her second year.”
“Master Utahime?”
Hanging her bag around her neck, Mai nodded. “Utahime, Lori, my teacher.” Almost as if the elders weren’t present in the room, Mai grabbed your hands once again and began to drag you towards the back door Maki had used earlier. “She has a scar on the left side of her face, how? I have no clue, she wouldn’t tell us the reason.”
You weren’t sure of what was happening, but the best thing you could do was keep quiet as Mai dragged you outside the building, onto the streets, and towards her school where the meeting was taking place, apparently. In front of the school, you realized how old-fashioned the design was, but it was a traditional high school, from what you had heard from Mai’s continuous talking. Once inside the building, Mai brought you to the door of the office, you guessed it was the office because the sign said so, but you wouldn’t be absolutely sure. It had been years since you visited Japan, the language slowly detaching from who you wanted to be.
✩°𓏲⋆🌿. ⋆⸜ 🍵✮˚
“And I’m supposed to leave you here.” She said, letting go of your hand. You glanced back at her, an eyebrow raised quickly. “Ougi.” It was all she said, but you knew exactly what she meant. That son of a gun, such a useless father he was. You nodded at her, which allowed her to give you a quick squeeze before running off in the opposite direction.
Now it was you and this door, it was such a pretty door. No, it wasn’t, you were just trying to pay less attention to the fact of being thrown out into the lions' den because your clan did not have enough knowledge and do it themselves, except Toji, he was the only one with the right mindset. Your late cousin, Toji Zenin was a man of actual talent, the only person you could defend for becoming a ruthless man, but unfortunately he had to die, to a blue-eyed freak with white hair. The worst combination of genes, you mumbled to yourself before turning the door knob, realized it was unlocked, and opened the door. As you were opening the door, it swung open, hitting someone in the face.
“Oh, goodness.” You said, a hand over your mouth as you let out a surprised gasp. In front of you was a blue-eyed freak? The man stood tall, his gorgeous sea-blue eyes staring directly at you while his thick eyebrows raised upwards with surprise, but the clear shade of a crimson reddish liquid ran down his nose.
“Blood. You’re bleeding.” You said, acknowledging the nose bleed this man was having while your voice trembled a bit while you tried to find something to stop it, settling with the long sleeve shift you had on. However, when you lifted your arm to clean up the blood, the man glared at you, his hand grabbing your arm.
“I’m fine.” He said, letting go of your arm before tilting his head upwards as if he was trying to stop it, but you quickly grabbed his head, which surprised him even more than his eyes widened.
“That’s dangerous for nose bleeds.” You commented, but he threw his head back away from your grip, but failed, which annoyed him even more. Just as you were about to say something, your eyes caught a glance of long hair, dark long hair standing behind the man. Your hands dropped from his face, apologizing quickly before turning around and walking straight to wherever the hallway took you. Eventually you found the exit door, but slumped against it for a quick second to process what you had just seen.
“That was Utahime.” You grumbled, your hands patting the side of your head softly, the thought of meeting her in such an awkward position did not occur to you, but you wondered if she realized who you were. It’s fine, it’s been years, and you did nothing wrong. You thought, convincing yourself that you’d be fine, before a buzz followed by a vibration coming from your pocket sounded. The notification that appeared on your phone screen brought a huge smile on your face. Yuki!
“Just heard you’re back in Japan, I feel betrayed! [inserted sad emoji.] I’m waiting in front of your apartment, we’ve got a lot to talk about.” It was what the text message said, which made you stand up fast, walk outside the high school, and dash through the streets towards the building. Surprisingly, you found your own way despite being guided by Mai earlier on in the day. Standing in front of your building was a signature motorcycle, its driver standing beside it, their back leaned unto it, but you could tell who it was. Her long blonde hair that almost reached her waist swayed with the wind.
“Are you perhaps waiting for someone?” You asked her, your head tilted slightly while your hands remained behind you.
“I am, actually.” Yuki replied before throwing her arms over your shoulder, pulling you closer to her as she rubbed your head roughly, your hair started to fizzle a bit.
“Oh, goodness, Yuki. Anything, but the hair.” You teased her while trying to get out of her grip to no avail, so you just stood there.
“The hair is the best part, though.” Yuki responded before being interrupted by the sound of your phone ringing. Taking it out of your pocket, you checked the caller ID, which showed that your father was calling. Hesitate to pick up the call, you turned off your phone shortly before floods of text messages came through your Lock Screen. It was the location of a nearby house where you knew your father lived, separately from the entire family. Yuki noticed your intense expression, her eyes shifting its attention to your phone screen before sliding a helmet over your head, her hands carefully adjusting your hair and the small ones blocking your eyes.
“Yuki, I can’t. This is obviously another one of his plans to get me to start committing to the family.” You said to Yuki, but to no avail. She climbed over her motorcycle, sat down comfortably in the front while revving the bike’s handles with her hands, waiting for you to get on.
You climbed onto the motorcycle, behind Yuki, your hand wrapping around her waist to secure your balance. Once on, Yuk turned the key to the bike and started driving straight into the streets onto the road heading towards the location that your father sent.
The ride there was peaceful, the wind blowing past you sending a calm breeze through your face, making you smile. Opening your eyes after a while, you and Yuki stared at a building, a very traditional Japanese house, its house widened with stone while it was decorated with plants and flowers. Taking off your helmet, you patted your hair down before carefully climbing off the motorcycle.
“I don’t trust this man, Yuk, if I don’t come back out in ten minutes, kidnap me.” You said, setting down the helmet in Yuki’s hands. “Not actually, don’t kidnap me, but you know what I mean.”
✩°𓏲⋆🌿. ⋆⸜ 🍵✮˚
Yuki chuckled as she nodded. You smiled back at her before heading into the house. As soon as you entered the house, your nose was filled with an overwhelming smell of tea, followed by a faint smell of smoke. The servants bowed down when they saw you approaching them, one stood straight, her arms guiding you to the corner where the door was slightly opened. You nodded, walking towards the door she pointed to, but you paused at the entrance, your eyes shifting from the servant to the door.
Taking a deep breath, you opened the door, revealing your father who was speaking with another man, but you could not tell who the man was as his back was towards you.
“Y/N.” Your father, Ogi Zenin said, his condescending tone was the first thing you noticed before you walked inside, closing the door behind you. Your eyes glanced down at the man who sat down below you, his white hair being the first you noticed. Ogi gestured to the empty seat beside the unknown man, his eyes staring intensely at you while smiling at the man.
Let’s get it over, you thought, sitting down beside the man, your head faced forward at your father, a visible uncomfortable expression on your face. Ogi stood up from where he sat, a groan escaping his mouth while he moved to your side, and then the wall that Ogi leaned unto earlier collapsed, exposing an entire room filled with people, mostly elderly people.
“Congratulations to the new couple, the road to peace and harmony in our clans.” Ogi shouted, the room responding with claps of cheers, shouts of happiness filled the room.
Your head turned to look at the man beside you, his calm composure sent a shiver down your spine, but before you got a full picture of how he looked, you stood up quickly. You turned to face your father, the anger that you felt was indescribable. “You’re a scum, an actual narcissist who doesn’t care about anyone, but yourself. To think I would give you the benefit of the doubt was my fault, but you are such a bloody fool. Go stick your fingers up your own ass, I am not marrying a stranger.” You shouted, but not loud enough for others to hear, before walking past Ogi and out the door.
Outside the door, the man grabbed your elbow, pulling you aside into a more isolated room, closing the door behind him. Surprised, you stared at him. “Can you move?” You asked him, but he did not move. Now that you had a better view of him, he looked familiar. The blue eyes that stared directly into yours, his white hair that flowed softly, he looked almost like! Nose bleeding guy from earlier.
His left eyebrow raised at you before placing a finger in front of his mouth, telling you to shh. “Behave.” It was all he said after some moments went by before the door was opened, multiple of the servants entering the room, approaching you with aggressive gestures. The man nodded before leaving the door, leaving you with women who looked determined to change your appearance.
Moments later, you found yourself in a huge dress which reached the ground, your hair was done, but you just stood there, uncomfortable with your phone tightened by your grip. You were annoyed, this was annoying, and the fact that you could not do anything but keep quiet was suffocating.
Maki and Mai entered the room, followed by two other people who you were unfamiliar with. Mai excitedly ran towards you, examining the dress and its beautiful decoration. “It’s so lovely, Y/N, you’re such a lucky girl.” Pausing, she turned to look at Maki. “Can you believe our sister fell in love with Gojo Sensai, that’s such a romantic story that only happens in movies.”
“What?” You asked, now this was making you more annoyed. “I fell in love with whom?”
“Gojo, Maki’s teacher.” Mai said, her hand pointing at the other students who stood beside Maki, “And Nobara and Itadori.”
You stood there in disbelief, but remained silent until Mai and the others left the room. You found this an opportunity to figure out what was happening. Walking about the room, the hallways were crowded with people, probably from the other clans, but you slipped past them carefully, remaining quiet as some of them congratulated you when you passed by.
#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#gojo satoru#gojo#satoru gojo#jjk fanfic#jjk x reader#jjk gojo#jjk gojo x reader#jjk satoru#gojo fluff#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo fluff#gojo smut#gojo satoru smut#gojo satoru fanfic#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru fluff#gojo satoru x you#gojo x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu gojo#fanfic#evercries
54 notes
·
View notes
Note
YOU 🤝 ME
SCREENWRITING
Could you possibly elaborate more on your EQ movies?? I'm really interested in this Cove Sunset... 👀
oh yeah actually i would love to talk more about that! so basically i wrote two movies intended to be the penultimate and the final installment in the Equestria Girls series since that’s definitely never going to get an official ending. i wanted to tie up loose ends…
i made a poster for the second one of the two that i made a few years back right here. but anyway…
the first of the two is called “Royal Nightmare.” the premise is as follows: it’s now spring of the girls’ senior year, and rarity has made the decision to run for queen of the spring fling after being robbed by sunset she tried to run for princess years ago. but when rarity gets possessed by dark magic, sunset has to confront her repressed baggage from the past if she wants to save her friend before it’s too late.
basically, this one deals a lot with sunset’s past with rarity. the film has a mix of the events taking place in the present day as well as flashbacks to the past, being the girls’ freshman year. it covers stuff like sunset arriving for the first time, her meeting flash, how she rose to power, and what she did to rarity (i changed it up just a tad because the junior novelization is a Weird book). it also has a lot of focus on rarijack as well.
the other one, intended as a finale movie, is titled “Forever Friendship.” after finally graduating from canterlot high, the girls are about to move onto the next stages in each of their lives. however, sunset still has unfinished business in regards to herself. together, the girls set out on one last adventure to uncover the truth behind sunset’s family and the sunset from their world. but could this be end?
this one is basically, like, giving sunset closure. in it i explore sunset’s origin and the truth about the Other sunset shimmer. it has an entire conflict that revolves around a discussion of the moral dilemma that comes with having magic in the human world. at heart it’s about sunset finding her purpose once and for all. i can’t say much else without spoiling it.
royal nightmare is complete in THEORY but needs a lot of, like, extra fleshing out and possibly the addition of a few more scenes. also, forever friendship is now missing a song or two because i removed one scene entirely and instead repurposed the song for royal nightmare. also ALSO, they’re a bit old now and i approached them differently than i did when writing for ever after high. i wasn’t totally thinking about completely matching the tone and more about cinematics. it’s not that i bumped the ratings up, but i let dialogue be lengthy and… idk, nuanced? i guess? more so in forever friendship than royal nightmare, at least. and there’s probably an occasional typo in them both.
i would share them, but the thing that makes me hesitant is the fact that for the songs, i made an unlisted youtube playlist of myself singing them each just for people who read them to have reference when the scenes pop up. it wasn’t so embarrassing when it was just being shared between myself and my friends, but the audio is kinda bad and there’s no music it’s just me singing. i didn’t even have the same range as i wanted for some of the songs or the characters so i sound wonky in it. and i can’t redo it now because i’m older and my voice has dropped so that’s a no-go.
idk, maybe i could give in with enough convincing.
36 notes
·
View notes
Note
An oc question incoming! How does Candi deal with stress?
oh man this is a fun one because like....she doesn't
in-game she's dealt with it by laughing it off and dealing with it silently, or by blowing up at the party and storming off, or deflecting it as something else ("no i'm not stressed about the fact that i'm homesick, i'm stressed because we couldn't find the ingredients we need!")
she's got a lot to be stressed about! she's far from home, she's wanted for larceny, she's kind of actively dying! but she does not deal with that stress head-on
(though, aside: her girlfriend is becoming pretty exceptional at figuring out when candi is deflecting, and making her face it head-on)
#dnd#dnd oc#oc questions#thank you for the question!!!!#i could talk about my characters all day forever
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:
(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]
Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)
Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.
[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]
(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)
(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)
LIKE!!!!!!!
Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.
#csi#gsr#i'm very Normal about them btw i don't think about them 50 times per day or anything#need to talk more about these two here#because im obsessed about them in a Normal way#sara is like. my dream wife. i totally get grissom being in love with her for years and barely holding it together#i would not though#i'm 1000% sure she's bi. but the writers have been cowards so far#also she and i dress THE SAME. yes i love 2000s clothes so what#i could talk about her forever she's everything to me#and grissom. oh grissom. i also get why she's been in love with him forever#i mean what the FUCK went down in san francisco did they hook up and sex was so good it scared them#and now they have to live with that tension and they're scared of crossing that line#nah i'm guessing with these two they just REALLY clicked. like. they were an instant match and they knew it#but grissom didnt want to lose focus on work or whatever and they lived in separate states you know#but oh my god i totally get sara. grissom is such a silver fox. he's like one of the hottest old men i've ever seen in my life#you know what i 100% get tumblr sexualizing old men it's completely valid i'm in this now too#he has this LOOK. whenever he's angry at a suspect. and he looks angrily at them. i'm chewing on my keyboard just remembering it#and his smirks#AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SARA#im losing my mind#i love all of gil grissom but seasons 4-5 jesus fucking christ#ok enough with the sexualizing i love him as a character SO MUCH. he's absolutely fantastic#one of the things i love the most about him is that he doesn't judge people. whenever the team is confused about someone#or this persons' lifestyle#he's always trying to understand them and not judge them#like a true scientist he wants to understand the nature of things and people#and he's such a sweetheart i love him so much#like there are so many things i love about him i can't fit them all in the tags. same for sara#they're a perfect match for me
19 notes
·
View notes
Note
Glimmer is the lifeblood of this show
She IS.
Listen. I love all these characters. So much. But Glimmer? I fucking LOVE her! I will never be over how good a character she is.
Ever.
I'm going to bust out a screenshot...
Look at my girl. Bisexual lighting, so true, but this is our lead princess on a show about friendship and rainbows and magic and she WILL fuck you up. She's stocky and rough around the edges and badass as hell while dressed head to toe in sparkly pastels. She's a girly girl and she kicks ass, next question.
She's feminine and insecure and tough and arrogant AT THE SAME TIME and we SO RARELY get that combo of traits in a female character! Usually the badass character hates femininity or the character in the poofy dress is a meek shy thing, but Glimmer's out here in a tulle prom dress punching bitches in the face. She is stockpiling weapons while squealing about fashion makeovers, get on her level!
She's also a mess of contradictions, flawed but in realistic ways. She's trying so hard to do the right thing she doesn't realize she's becoming the bad guy, so terrified her friends will leave her she doesn't realize she's pushing them away and taking them for granted, so determined to save her planet she accidentally dooms it. She's an extraordinary girl with powers of both the royal and magic kind, but that's twisted up with ordinary problems like trying to prove herself to her mom, living up to her dad's legacy, making friends and crushes. She's compelling because she's REAL in a way fictional media so rarely does right with teenagers.
Which is especially impressive because, story wise, she only exists as push and pull to Catra and Adora's arcs. She's a character made of filler, what the narrative needed for other characters, but it's woven so well into the rest of the story that she becomes a lead in her own right.
Just The Most character ever.
#spop#she ra#shera#glimmer#thank you Tipsy I have been in a funk and i needed to remember how much I love my angry sparkle queen#i could talk about how well written Glimmer is as a character all day#glimmer is my forever blorbo#this is why I write Bow POV so much#so I can be in love with her on main#asks#'Glimmer's annoying' YOU'RE ANNOYING!#so many people hate on her and they are simply wrong#she is a fucking amazing character#not to be sweary scorpia but sorry for cursing
263 notes
·
View notes
Text
i genuinely don't think a story's worldbuilding and lore has ever drawn me in the way that check please did. it's been years and i still think about it every day. the characters and plot were always superb but i think what has stuck with me the most is the depth of the settings and how everything feels so lived in and tangible. everyone wants to make a fake world and town and university but no one else has EVER done it that well
#like the college setting especially is so delicious to me#there isn't a day that goes by that i don't think about the campus map and the building names and the haus and the stop and shops#ugh i need hardcore analysis injected into my damn veins#also this could be it's own post. but#the generations of players and how every fan has different people that really speak to them#like i'm not a huge kent/tater or dex/nursey fan and honestly am pretty ambivalent to jack/bitty#(don't take this the wrong way)#but i LOVE ransom and holster and shitty and lardo#and even some of the other characters like bully and tango though i admit the later years don't hit as hard for me as the first couple#i just love that everyone finds something to go batshit over#the attention to detail was just so so incredible and still for SURE holds up#no matter what aspect#i was never super directly involved in the fandom but when i think back on formative pieces of media for me as a person and as a writer#i don't think that there are many things that compare#if you've read my writing i don't think it's hard to see the correlation at all#also if you want to talk check please analysis (or can rec me others' analysis!!!) i'd be forever grateful#otherwise i'm just going to keep marinating forever#omgcp#check please#omg check please
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
re lrb in any case to me astarion’s arc is less about regaining agency than becoming aware that he already has it and has to act like that. there's a distinction between agency as a material fact, ie having the ability in theory to make your own decisions and act on your desires, and the awareness of having that agency.
i'm no psychologist, but in my experience one of the most helpful steps in recovering from mental illness has been the awareness of my own agency ─ yes, sometimes I feel as though my life is completely run by my intrusive thoughts, but invariably getting out of that place has involved a recognition that ultimately, I am the one in control of my thoughts and I have the agency to work through them. that doesn't mean that it isn't hard, or time-consuming, and sometimes I don't succeed in the way I'd like, but nonetheless the ability to at least try is and always has been in my power.
in baldur's gate 3, your companions appear with varying degrees of agency (aside, obviously, from the tadpole they all share). they range from gale, whose current situation physically and magically restricts him but who at that moment in time doesn't have many other immediate restrictions on his day-to-day actions, to wyll, whose every move is watched by his abusive warlck patron.
nonetheless, your companions benefit from being shown that they not only could have agency at some point in the future, if they break their pact/shar's curse/free cazador/free orpheus/fix the infernal engine/get the crown of karsus, but they have agency now and must therefore use it responsibly. wyll is already to some degree aware of this, i think, even if it's only because he is so morally forthright ─ he's one of your companions who remains actively trapped by their abuser during the game, yet he refuses to kill karlach because he knows that would be wrong. even within his severely limited circumstances, he makes a choice, he demonstrates agency. in the shadowfell, shadowheart ─ a cult victim subjected to extreme psychological and religious abuse ─ has the choice whether or not to kill aylin, and can make it either way.
astarion, at the point at which you meet him, has just been given freedom for the first time in, essentially, his life. it's no surprise that he doesn't know what to do with thise newfound agency, and doesn't recognise it for what it is, given that he literally cannot remember ever having control over his own life. that's deeply tragic, but it doesn't erase the fact that he has control over the things he does during the game. those actions (for example, given i am still talking about that last rb, talking about the children he kidnapped and gave to cazador as though they were nothing), are things he has agency over and is responsible for. nonetheless, he acts as though he does not, lurching from one attempt to gain power to another (killing the druids to suggesting you use whatever's in moonrise to your advantage), because his own self-perception as someone completely powerless is so overwhelming. he must accrue power because that is the only way he can make sure he's safe and can never be hurt again. it's just that that self-perception is not completely accurate, he does have agency; if he makes choices that result in moral wrongs, those moral wrongs are his to bear.
i'm not getting at astarion here, I don't mean to imply that he's at fault for this attitude. it is, obviously, the natural response to 200 years of enslavement and abuse. kind of the whole point of the game, of all of your companions' quests, is that if people are hurt and abused often they will feel as though their only avenue towards power is to do the same to others. but being severely traumatised doesn't make his behaviour okay; he doesn't get a free pass to do whatever he wants because of cazador. you can like him, literally who am i to say otherwise (i like him too!), but don't just excuse everything he does or get rid of the most interesting parts of his character because you're unwilling to grapple with the fact that as it stands in the game, he's morally incredibly complex.
i think there's a tendency to assume that a character either must or must not have agency, and to present it as a binary, because for some reason it's used as a shorthand for moral culpability, when in reality the relationship between agency and culpability is significantly more complicated. i haven't really been getting into coerced choices here because that's a whole other kettle of fish (though i will give the necessary disclaimer that my stance on this is quite clearly influenced by the fact that deep down i'm a bit of a virtue ethicist). nonetheless, while this is my pop philosophy take and i'm not trying to impose this overall moral framework on people, i think it's pretty reasonable to say that lack of agency does not mean that what you did was not wrong.
implying that astarion is at fault here would be indicative of the very attitude I am trying to oppose ─ the idea that people either have agency or don't, and if they do bad things with agency they are evil, but if they don't have agency they are victims. astarion is both ─ he is the victim of horrendous, harrowing trauma and yet he has done bad things and in fact visited that same trauma upon other people. there's no escaping this, and i think it would be bad for astarion to just brush everything he did for cazador under the rug because he did it for cazador. he still did those things ─ he might not be culpable, i do not think he can be considered as such, but there's no way you go through all of that and don't feel guilty for it.
notably, if shadowheart kills aylin and wyll kills karlach (if he can? i actually don't even know if he can do that, but hypothetically), they are still responsible for that action and it was still morally wrong. they have to deal with that: part of dealing with it can be to recognise the coercion they were subject to, but the fact that they lacked agency doesn't just erase the wrong or mean it was never wrong in the first place. likewise, astarion becoming the ascended vampire is still obviously a terrible thing to happen for him and everyone else, and is in no way justified just because it might finally give him the sense of safety and control he craves. the whole point of that moment is that even when he is being retraumatised, when he has returned to the place and person that hurt him, astarion has the capacity to choose, and to choose the right thing. acting as though his trauma means he has absolutely no agency whatsoever and so never has to address the fact that he can, at various points, greatly fuck up, just removes one of the biggest themes of his whole character.
tldr: astarion has agency, one of his greatest challenges is realising that he does and that he must use it responsibly, and acting as though that is not the case does a disservice to his character and the story it is trying to tell. also it is deeply deeply boring. the end.
#bg3#i logged into tumblr on my laptop to type this out instead of learning how to use a pivot table#hence the abrupt change in capitalising I#i keep going on about this because it's a general attitude towards trauma and mental illness that drives me completely up the wall#yes life is hard yeah you gotta take steps to make that better#yeah thats tricky. sorry. gotta be done though#anyway i could literally talk about this all day like. gale or lae'zel and agency is a WHOLE thing and i could rant about those two for day#but this is getting too long as it is#also obligatory disclaimer that this is in no way a commentary on anyone's gameplay#im not trying to do a 'omg if u ascend astarion you're a terrible horrible person forever' or anything#i think it's great and fun that you can do that and explore his character that way#this is directed at people who just try to make him like uwu traumatised little baby who has never had any agency ever#in his whole entire life#and so cannot be morally responsible for any action he has ever taken
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
for years my friends have tried to get me back into minecraft and idk how to explain to them that after tosoth the game will never be the same . it’s been A DECADE and this fic still rules over my brain
#and don’t even TALK about snow angels around me i’ll cry blood and vomit tears#that fic gave me SO many trust issues i hve TO THIS DAY#and i KNOW ive ranted about this before but IT GENUINELY TRAUMATISED ME#but i was at one of the lowest points of my life and decided fuck it. i’m gonna read a long fic. i’m usually a max 25k person but i was like#nah let’s get invested in this one. good ol erisol human au. what could go wrong#oh dear reader it turns out that there was something that could go wrong#because at tht time i was an avid ff net user and there are no warnings there#especially not for major character death.#so i’m so invested in this fic#got a few chapters left. and then i start a chapter i swear ive read before in a one shot#and i’m over the MOON bc i know how this ends. they get engaged! so i’m SO fkn happy#and then. all alone in the snow of their front yard. eridans heart gives out. and he’s gone.#as a very traumatised teen who was dependant on happy endings to make me feel like life was worth living#i have never felt heartbreak and betrayal like that. only other thing that ever made me feel that much was my really messy breakup w da loml#i didnt sleep for a week. i was constantly sobbing and breaking down at school#reading about sollux going through their minecraft world and i just#yeah.#haven’t been able to make pancakes since too. used to be the thing i was best at#since then pancakes minecraft and snow angels are forever tainted#absolutely INCREDIBLE fic but i do Not do MCD or sad endings#and i was like being horrifically abused going thru hormonal conversion therapy to ‘fix’ my nonexistent sex drive#whilst dealing with r/pe accusations simultaneously . as a fkn 16 year old baby trans gay ace#so i was going thru it and when i tell you my ENTIRE mental state was depending on the dopamine i got from fan fictions w endings that#gave me hope my story wasn’t gonna end there. for them to struggle for so long to find true happiness within eachother#to them being torn apart by the cruel hand of death#bro i was inconsolable for so long . i still am and im almost 26 LMFAO#know it seems so silly to be so worked up over this but i can’t articulate how much my undiagnosed autistic bpd cptsd ridden self depended#on these fics to emotionally regulate#OBV THIS IS NOTHING AGAINST THE AUTHOR OR THE FIC I WAS JUST YOUNG AND TRAUMATISED AND COPING UNHEALTHILY#but i will never be able to play minecraft happily ever again
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
Have been flip-flopping between full-out sudden and heart-wrenching sadness (the Sadie Sink sobbing her heart out in All Too Well kind of sad. Alas) and general cloudy sadness hovering at the back of my mind (I feel rather like my own personal Groke in those moments) these past few weeks and today had many moments of light in it. Lots of sunshine, tea, reading with Muffin (we're reading 1 Psalm a night together and praying together before bed--it is the Best), listening to music that isn't sad/grumpy (Jess Ray, Arcadian Wild, Paul Zach, Sara Groves), laughing with Froglet... it was easier to see the light and receive it. Things are looking up :)
#SORRY THERE ARE SO MANY LONG TAG RANTS THESE DAYS ABOUT SADNESS there is just a big presence of sad in my head and heart at present#i am fighting Hard against it! i am going to get better! i am not going to dwell in it forever!#my goodness i didn't know any sort of heartbreak could be this dramatic but there are definitely things that need processing/#talking over when one finds oneself sobbing at church halfway through the service while everyone is singing Abide With Me#the takeaway here for me at least is that i keep holding onto this very tightly#and often forget that well i can and should let go of it and give it to God instead#WHY are the lessons that i learn lessons that i keep having to learn!! man!! one would THINK that after everything i'd know by now#that Sufferin on one's lonesome is unhelpful and damaging and also affects one's physical health#and that really i shouldn't be trying to hold it together myself. anyway i was and still am vastly comforted by the words in that hymn#and by the assurance that He walks through valleys with me as well as hills and nice sunny meadows#i hope that i come out of this a) not resenting mr knight the way i've been sorely tempted to (and have in some moments)#b) not Hopeless and Hard at Heart#c) understanding God and His character better having learned how to come close to Him in times of trouble#in any case. i am rambling again. BEDTIME :D#slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in year 21#thinking of julian of norwich again and reminding myself Constantly that the all-shall-be-wellness of it all is not insignificant
27 notes
·
View notes
Note
Especially because in the end... Arakawa loses his son in small ways that just Accumulate... but Jo's the one who even gets to outlive his son... AUGH. THROWING MYSELF INTO A WOODCHIPPER
Also while going through old messages, I saw I actually had a dream back in 2021 that Jo came back in LaD8. I mean sure he had "longer hair" and "a new outfit NOBODY liked except me" and was Unserious like RGGJo whereas in the actual teaser he sounds more depressed than ever but I'm still taking credit alright... the vision came to me...
And in a Hell Will Freeze Over Before This Happens I Just Like To Think About It way. I want him in my goddamn party and I have for all of Y7 so it's not related to the new game. I don't care. I want to find out what his favorite flowers are I want to take him to Every Movie and get his commentary on all of it I want to take him out to eat and watch his little itadakimasu animation play out I want to have the most light-hearted and inconsequential conversations and I want him to chime in I want to exhaust every option on his Drink Link I want to unlock his sickass tag-team moves I want to wear True Hero and fight by his side I want to shower him with so much love and affection he won't know what hit him (<- channeling Arakawa tbh)
its just insane because from a metaphorical sense arakawa 'outlives' masato in that he becomes aoki and like. That's One Thing, but then Of Course. There's Jo. //stuffing my mouth with wet cement// like OHHHH the pain never stops it never ends,,
mate i think your brain was just tryna manifest RGGJo to make a come back through y7 ☠️☠️ CREDIT WHERE CREDITS DUE THO BUT DAMN would have been. THE MOST interesting change to his character though.... on the real.... because yeah he just sounds so tired from the trailer so far （；´д｀）would be hilarious if instead of entering a Super Depression arc bro's just. Yeah Alright Fuck It. What Can We Do Now Amirite. walk right out the cell with the white suit and snake-patterned lapels and all ☠️☠️
OK BUT MOST VALID RANT EVER. MOST VALID WANT EVER. would really just have the vibe of dragging your jaded uncle around the city i would died to have that,,, 😭😭
#snap chats#ON THE REAL THOUGH JO PARTY MEMBER WOULD'VE MADE ME YELL#it too is a part of my This Is Guaranteed To Never Happened But What If wish list.....#i still stand firm he shouldve at least been left with tendo for five minutes. JUST FIVE THEN EVERYONE ELSE CAN COME IN#first he necks his boss then he fucks up his office like LET HIM. GET A FEW SWINGS IN. it's what he deserves i think...#BUT REAL PLEEAASSE I WANT THE SAWASHIRO SOCIAL LINK GIVE IT TO ME RIGHT NOW SEGA#id die and throw up because you just know he and ichi'd have to talk about arakawa at some point during it...#if the whole SL not JUST being about meetin arakawa or his early days in the family#also forgive me for calling it 'social link' i unfortunately played persona a lot years ago and just. Its A Social Link ok ik im a monster#persona's one piece of media that was crucial to my developmental years its in my dna now...#IN ANY CASE NOOOOO I COULD SIT AND THINK FOREVER ABOUT JO MAKING LITTLE COMMENTS...#its my mental illness... its my weakness i think..... just thinkin of silly scenarios...#see while im cringe at being intelligent i AM adequate at making funny scenarios... hehe even...#its a dangerous thing to put an idea in my head as Creatively Ambiguous as that one oh no i feel my brain being eaten alive already#PLEASE I NEED THE PARTY TO REACT TO JO 😭😭 IN A NON VIOLENT SITUATION 😭😭#i hope when jo's forced to be in social settings he's just Weird. like not Weird weird but its painfully obvious he's never had friends#like he just doesnt know what to do with himself the closest friend in age he has is adachi and He. Is Definitely A Character (affectionate#i hope theyre all out to lunch and someone makes a lighthearted joke and jo takes it too seriously and one other mate gotta just#'my guy relax. it was a joke. see [explains the joke]' and bro just Hm..... Not Funny Didn't Laugh about it right#he's not gonna flip the table now at least#UGH why would you remind me of the timeline of jo being a party member. im gonna drive myself mad thinkin bout it （；´x｀)（；´x｀)#ITD BE SO SWEET JUST SEEING JO BE NICE FOR FIVE SECONDS. NOT EVEN 'NICE' JUST CHILL#jo karaoke wouldnt exist but it'd be cute to at least see him in the crowd...#I REPEAT IM GONNA THINK OF LIL SCENARIOS LIKE THESE ALL DAY NOW NOOOOOO im ruined 😔
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
every time I have to wade through inane ship wars where people are willfully ignorant to the depth and facets of cloud strife's character, circumstance, and story just so I can find some cool screenshots or fanart my 'cloud is ace' agenda simply grows more potent out of spite
#rebirth literally said in bold letters he has multiple feelings. like humans do#and yet in the year 2024 i am still forced to see 'this ship was canon since 1997 unlike the other one'#do you have a brain that you use#are you capable of actually delving into the details of a character#without reducing them to barbie dolls that get smacked off one another#i just want to look at cool fanart man#dont even get me STARTED on how zack slots into all this#my boy has not haunted the narrative for you to go and ignore character developments like this#this is all coming out more blunt than i would normally try to write things#but brother i am so tired#i could write a whole post on how it is very real and normal for humans to feel affection for more than 1 person#and how it manifests in cloud and the whys#if the game itself is somehow not clear enough to you then you are simply choosing to close your eyes at that point#trying to act superior and objective about your ship while ignoring the material you claim to have gotten your Objective Facts™ from...#good gravy.#shipping is supposed to be a fun thing secondary to enjoying the content#not a primary objective to use it to argue with people#i would say peace and love on planet gaia but im sure some people would read it as peace and you can only love one person at a time forever#on planet gaia. haha.#anyway...... now that that's out my system i can be at peace again#shout out 2 my fellow multishippers who take this bountiful wealth of content and have fun with it#i think im gonna replay rebirth's story soon#want to see how much more i can pick out about new/updated approaches to characterization#rocket town will be very interesting in part 3 i think#yuffie too with wutai supposedly becoming a much more fleshed out thing#if this post somehow breaches containment:#if your first thought is to um actually me and whip out 'evidence'. i am not going to give you rhe time of day#because my rambling clearly went over your head and im not interested in 1sided discussion where i am being talked at rather than to#anyway have fun stop wasting time arguing and pls look forward to remake part 3 where i lose my mind over vincents waist. again#look what you did you raised my blood pressure enough to hit the tag limit. anyway peace and love on planet g-
0 notes
Text
flashback to when tejin was named surya and was also a boy
#oc talk#originally she was going to be a boy bc i was like oh duh of course yixing must have a son#bc the cycle of terrible father-son relationships in his family will never die i guess#but then i remembered i write for girls with strained relationships to their fathers and well. poof. he suddenly had a daughter instead#im writing this post after having like a full half hour scream cry panic attack session thinking about my dad and how much i miss him#even though we absolutely had our terrible times.#and i will be eternally entrenched in guilt and shame and resentment over many many many parts of my bond him over the years#bc things could have been so different but we were both so stubborn and stupid and selfish and well. now we'll never have the chance#because hes dead. like forever. because that's how being dead works i guess.#and ill spend the rest of my days wondering how different things couldve been if wed just been nicer to each other. oh well!#ANYWAY. good evening.#i was thinking about how almost all my characters are women with complex relationships with their fathers or father figures#vera and josef. andhira and the sovereign. sonam and her dad. anwei and her dad. wren and her dad. wren and robin even.#tejin and yixing!!!!!#man i think i am trying to process something here. but whatever could it be 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔
1 note
·
View note
Text
TF141 getting a boudoir photo album as a wedding gift ♡
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
A/N: THIS WAS SO FUN!!! Great, absolutely phenomal idea, dear anon. Simon's part is very sappy (I cried) which might be ooc for him?? Idk, that's how I write him/interpret his character! :) let me know who's your favorite 👀
~Fi 🐝
《Warnings》: NSFW content. proceed with caution. PiV, creampie, cunnilingus, Johnny's oral fixation (yes, that is a warning.)
It's still very sweet and lovey dovey with all of them bc I'm a certified sap <3
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
John would be grinning and smirking like a proper idiot when he lays his eyes on those delectable photos of you.
I imagine you had a date night at home, sipping wine on the couch and talking about your wedding that's supposed to take place in only 3 days. He's telling you how he can't wait to see you in your wedding dress and slip that ring onto your finger.
Be prepared to he called Mrs. Price the days leading up to the big day. John excuses it with "Need to practice, love. Don't wanna mess it up in front of anyone, eh?"
Sneaky bastard.
He knows what he's doing, you know what he's doing, all is well because if he only knew what that did to you. You're just talking, trying to get the nerves out now so you can go into your wedding with a clear mind and have a good time. When you tell him you have a gift for him, his eyebrows almost overshoot his forehead. Yeah, he knew that was a thing some people did, but he never gave it another thought.
In all honesty, marrying you was the best gift he could ever get. Which is why he feels slightly guilty that he doesn't have one for you (at least that's what you see, internally he's crushed) but that all goes out the window when you sit back down with a sleek beige photo album that has a little romantic quote on the front.
"And what's this, doll, hm?" His heart feels warm and fuzzy, thinking these are some lovely pictures of you together on holidays you went on, casual trips to the local pub or just some domestic shots you managed to sneak during his leave.
What he doesn't expect, however, is the angelic image of your plush body on full display, draped over a velvet chaise lounge with layered pearl necklaces hanging from your neck. This man is shell-shocked. If he wasn't frozen in place, he would've snapped the book shut.
You can basically see the connections to his brain frying. His jaw slacks, and only after what feels like 10 minutes he regains his ability to think and close his mouth. John is sweating and his cock is rock hard as he flips through the remaining pages.
He shoots you the occasional glance while he's trying not to hyperventilate. You just sit back and savor your wine, trying to hide your laugh behind the rim of your glass. You'd expected a reaction, of course, but you didn't think you'd render the John Price speechless just from a few suggestive photographs of you.
But what absolutely breaks the camels back (or John's, in this case) is the last picture of you. You're kneeling, slightly leaned back and supported by your arms, with one of his Flannels covering your soft tits. That alone would've been enough to drive him crazy, but the sight of his old dogtags sitting against your sternum has him groaning out loud.
The only other thing covering you is a simple pair of lace panties, cupping the soft curve and rolls of your tummy so beautifully, John was ready to take a bit out of that damn page.
He nearly misses the inscription underneath the photo;
To my John; the love of my life, the man of my dreams,
I love you.
You hold my heart and you will forever.
May I be so lucky to find my place in the stars by your side when the time comes, so we'll never have to be apart.
With all my love,
Mrs. Price
And that does it. The album snaps shut and you barely have time to put down your wine glass before John is all over you, taking handfuls of you, whatever he can reach. With how fast he smashes his lips on yours, he nearly gives you whiplash.
He's tugging and pulling at your clothes as well as his own, not saying a thing, just hungrily swallowing every one of your sounds and giggled objections before he decides the couch is uncomfortable and he moves you to the bedroom. You're hoisted up without a warning and you cling to his neck. Immediately, worried words start spilling from your lips, remembering how he'd complained about a sore back just today;
"John, baby, your back-"
"I don't give a flying fuck about my back, love."
He's heaving and grunting like a fucking animal, he's downright feral. Despite all of that, you're still laid down gently on the bed, John would never, ever be reckless with you. But he needs to be inside you now, he'll actually lose his mind.
Usually, he'd spent hours between your thighs first, but he just can't wait. He's pounding you into another dimension but with such gentleness in his gestures, it makes your head spin.
He's holding your hand, breathing sweet praises into your ear despite him filling you to the brim. His urge to claim you goes haywire and he fills you with his cum multiple times before he's sane enough again.
He's covered in sweat and his beard is wet from your spit from all the sloppy kisses he gave you. John will definitely make it up to you and eat you out for as long as you want after.
He'll make a copy of one of the photos and take it with him when he's on deployment, just for the nights he's feeling lonely.
His wedding gift to you are the hickeys on your thighs and tummy and new sheets because you two tore the other ones to absolute shreds.
♥︎
Johnny would probably have a boudoir album for you, too. You get at least one shirtless pic a day, so a whole album of his body on display or in suggestive poses basically screams Johnny. He's already drooling the second he spots that book because he knows what it is and that he's in for a treat.
He's buzzing with excitment.
You never really send nudes for privacy reasons, and then for you to do something like this hit him like a truck in the best way possible. You're standing opposite from him behind the kitchen counter, and you look so nervous to him.
Cue his signature shit-eating grin. You tap your fingers on the dark blue album before having enough of your nerves and just sliding it over to him with a few mumbled words of what it is.
"Awe, for me, mo leannan?" He's a teasing bastard, and he chuckles when you huff and turn your head, obviously flustered. Johnny is legit licking his lips, but when he opens the book, his grin fades so fast.
He knew it would be good, but holy shit, this was so much better than he expected. His pupils dilate as he takes in each of the pictures of you, all of you, all your curves and bumps.
Everything he loves about you. God, you're such a woman, he thinks to himself. Some with lingerie, some without. He's full on drooling at this point, and the only reason why he roughly wipes it away with the back of his hand is to not get it on these sacred images.
He smirks at the picture of you in a tub, all soapy, with pebbled nipples. An obvious dig at his nickname, but, god, does your ass look amazing when it's covered in a thin layer of bubbles. He loves lathering you up in the shower and feeling you up while you're all wet and slippery.
"Good thing I can hold my breath, aye, hen? Might even try to set a new personal record." He's grinning and chuckling meanwhile you give him a sharp glare. You can't deny that the idea intrigues you, though.
But this, oh, this one was him swallowing thickly. It's you in very sheer panties (they're barely even underwear) and his name patch is sewn onto the front. Your hair looks so nice, so do your thighs, he doesn't know whether to look at your eyes or your tits. The button on his jeans is about to pop off from his throbbing boner.
He can't take his eyes off that 'MacTavish' patch that sits right on your lower belly, with the slight curve it has to it from your soft tummy.
Johnny has to hold himself back from gripping the book too hard. He wouldn't want to ruin it.
"Steamin' bloody Jesus, bonnie..."
The album is shut and tucked under his arm, and Johnny jumps over the counter to get his hands on you. Or his mouth, more like. He has a huge oral fixation, so he loves sucking and biting on every inch of your skin. You're pushed back into the bedroom, even though you end up on the floor, and the book is thrown onto the bed.
He rips your shirt up and sucks at your tits and nipples, groaning and moaning at the taste of your skin, all while he's rubbing his clothes cock against your leg. You end up on your hands and knees with one of Johnny's hands on your lowerback while his face is buried in your cunt.
He's eating you out like he's been starved for years, and his stubble is already starting to irritate the skin of your thighs and ass.
You'll have the worst case of beard burn in the morning, but how could you care about that when his tongue is so deep inside of you?
Remember when I said he'd have a boudoir album too? Yeah, now you're in between his legs, your back pressed to his chest with Johnny's album in your shaky hands. And the way your engagement ring catches the dim light of the room has your eyes rolling back.
And Jesus christ, Johnny looks fucking phenomal. You clench around his fingers hard, and he doesn't even have to pull his head from your neck to know what photo you're looking at.
He's smirking and grinning like the ceshire cat, knowing that the image of him in a kilt with no shirt one is gracing your field of vision right about now.
"Ah knew ye'd like tha' one, bonnie..."
Johnny's cooing in your ear, telling you to keep looking at the pictures while he's knuckle deep in your pussy. His bare dick is pressed against your ass and you can feel him rocking his hips to get off.
He's mumbling all kinds of gibberish into your ear, but one of the few things you can make out is "mo bhean"* which pushes you over the edge. You won't be leaving that bed anytime soon.
*(My wife)
♥︎
Kyle is such a sweetheart. I've said it before, and I will say it again, he's such a cutie pie!!! But that doesn't mean he can't or won't get nasty.
He'd offered to make lunch, which was delicious as always, and now you're chatting casually about your day at your dining table. Your fingers are laced together, and he's wearing the biggest smile because all he can think of is how he gets to marry you in just a few days.
He's over the moon. He can't wait to see you walk down the aisle, say your vows to each other, and overall have a great time with all your friends and family.
But the thing Kyle is looking forward the most is the honeymoon. He'll have you to himself for 2 whole weeks and he's stoked. He can't wait to treat you to nice things, love on you, but he's the most excited to fuck you as your husband.
He may look sweet and 'innocent' but this man can fuck, okay. And he fucks well. He knows every little spot that has you mewling and he's so good at using them for his gain.
Kyle will fuck you into the mattress in the Hotel you booked, he's already made up his mind about that, but he wants to absolutely melt your brain by being so loving whole doing it that you can't help but cry out for him.
He has heart eyes at this point, watching you talk about all that happened today and he only snaps out of his dream world when you present the deep red album to him with a sweet smile.
He's got a hunch of what it is so there's a hint of a smirk on his lips. Still, he almost gets whiplash when he opens it.
There's no easing into it, just straight up tits, ass and tummy. And let me tell you, Kyle is loving every second of it. It's no secret that he loves your chub, and that fact that it's extenuated so beautifully in every shot makes his heart and his cock happy. He's a very balanced man after all.
He comments on every single photo because he think it's endearing how you get all flustered and giggly from his compliments.
One picture that has him taking a second, though, is one where you have a lacy band tied around your thigh, with a little golden 'Kyle' charm hanging from it. He's all smiley and giddy, but he does try to discreet adjust his trousers because, holy shit, that's hot.
"Have you still got that, dove? Would love to see it tied around your pretty neck."
All you answer is that he'll have to be patient and wait till the wedding night to find out. He's laughing and teasing now, but just what till you get to the last page, Gazy.
And the way his smile just melts off his face is priceless. His gaze is flitting between you on the page and you sitting across from him with a shot eating grin. All the blood that drained from his face went straight to his dick.
Not only are you wearing a set of lingerie in his favorite color, but you've got his iconic pair of sunglasses hooked on the center of your bra. And that's not all either, his eyes travel upwards and his base cap is sat on your head and you've got that beautiful smile of yours on your face.
He makes an audible noise, one that indicates you took his breath away, when he takes in the whole picture.
"How in hell did you manage to snatch my hat and my glasses from right under my nose?!"
"Skilled hands, babe."
He's laughing at you breathlessly because he's still enarmoured by the sight of you.
And Kyle will absolutely whisk you away and fuck you stupid in front of your bedroom mirror while you're wearing his hat.
It makes him feral, seeing you like that. He's got both of his arms wrapped around your middle and he's panting into your shoulder. He does look up from time to time to see your blissed out face all while still wearing his cap.
He lets out a strained moan everytime he looks at you in the mirror and his hips stutter ever so slightly.
Kyle is just spewing jumbled words of love because he's genuinely so happy. You make him so happy.
He honestly can't wait to give you your wedding gift. It's a little booklet filled with poems or quotes that reminded him of you, or of how you make him feel. And it will make you cry when he reads them to you.
Definitely not because he'll be ballsdeep inside of you while doing so...
♥︎
Simon, Simon, Simon.... first of all, he's completely blindsided by this. And he hasn't got a fucking clue what's in that black book you hand him one night when you're cuddling in bed.
There's just a giant question mark above his head. When you tell him it's a wedding gift, he goes silent and just looks at that album in his hands.
He never really got gifts, which obviously changed since he's been with you, but he's still not used to it. You're so thoughtful. And sweet. And kind, and perfect and-
he turns his head to you when you softly call his name and if you notice the slight sheen of tears in his big brown eyes, you don't mention it. You just encourage him to open the book. And when he does, a small huff and gentle smile leave him because how are you so perfect?
Yes, all of the pictures are all filthy, but they're all radiating of love and softness, and he can't get over it. How are you so soft? Simon can't get enough of you. You mess up his emotions in ways he never thought possible, and he can't help that his heart starts beating twice as fast.
That you did this for him means more than you could ever fathom, and he'll treasure this album until his end. He absent mindedly reaches for your hand as he flips through the pages, trying to tell you thank you when his words fail him, like they did so many times before with you.
He comes across a shot of your neck, a black leather collared fasten around it with a little silver skull charm. It makes him smile just a bit. He knows just how much meaning is behind it.
That you love him. All of him, which includes the Ghost. In cursive, 'Riley' is written right above your heart, and he gives your hand a squeeze.
Although you love the Ghost because it's a part of him, you've shown him that it's not all he is. That Simon is enough. That he should give Simon a chance and that he's not incapable anymore, like he was as a little boy. Ghost is sort of a protector of Simon, something not many people know, that's why he wears the mask outside of duty too. To shield himself.
But as much as the Ghost's service is appreciated, Simon can handle himself now. The Ghost will forever be with him, but so will you, and you'll wipe his bloody hands with a smile. You've shown him that you accept Ghost just as much as you accept Simon, and that means the world to him.
He sniffles ever so quietly, and you lean your head against his shoulder, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He moves on, gently turning the pages, and as much as his heart is touched by your kind gesture of this album, that doesn't stop his cock from stirring. It's pictures of your naked form, after all.
He loves every single inch of you and he's told you and shown you so many times, kissed all your insecurities away and took your mind off any bad thoughts about yourself by fucking you so well and lovingly to the point of tears.
Never, in a million years, had he expected you to return these efforts. You kissed all his scars and held him softly when reassuring any doubts he had. That's when he truly and fully fell in love with you.
He can feel himself getting hotter with every passing image of your soft body bent in different positions and clad in delicate garments, if any.
The best for last, as always, and it's a picture of you kneeling in front of a mirror, completely nude. A picture of Simon in full military regalia is tapped to the mirror and it's surrounded by a bunch of hearts drawn on with lipstick.
His name is written under the picture in your handwriting, and he can see you holding a lipstick, in the middle of finishing another heart. His breath hitches just for a split second.
He swears he'll burn this photo into the back of his eyelids.
It shows him just how great and raw your love for him is, and it makes him all fuzzy on the inside. The text at the bottom finishes it all off, and he's actively holding back tears, overwhelmed by so many feelings for you.
Dear Husband,
We're flawed; but that's how I like us. You're you, and I'm me, and I wouldn't change it for the world. You've made me a better version of myself, and that makes me love you so much more. I'm so proud of you, Simmy.
Love,
Your wife
"Thank you, my love. Thank you for this, and for loving me and for everything you've done for me. I love you"
His words are soft and painfully honest as he gently sets the album aside. You've made him a better man. A better Simon. A happier Simon. A Simon that's slowly starting to heal.
It starts off with a soft kiss that slowly turns more desperate and needy to the point you're gently being pushed back onto the bed, your clothes are discarded, and Simon absolutely worships you. He kisses every inch he can reach and touching you in all the ways he knows you like.
And, yeah, Simon can be rough and fuck you stupid for hours, but tonight, he just wants to feel close to you, and make you feel as good as you make him feel by simply loving him. He's talking you through it, holding you while he makes sure you take every inch of his cock.
His strokes are slow and deep, just like his love for you, and he revels in the way your eyes roll back each time he slides into you to the hilt. The drag of his dick against your walls has you moaning and whining, and when he presses down on your pudgy lower belly to intensify the sensation, you're putty.
You two fuck the whole night like this, no matter how sensitive you are, you need to be close to each other.
And in the morning, he'll wake you up with his face buried in your pussy because he's out of his sappy mood and his only goal now is to absolutely ruin you.
♡
Bonus: I can totally see Simon giving his dad the biggest middle finger known to man all the way in hell when he's standing by the altar on your wedding day. It just screams: 'fuck you, stupidly bastard. Despite all you've done to me and my family, despite all that's happened, I've persevered. I've overcome it all. Look at me now.'
Right after he's smiling up at the sky, knowing that his mum and brother are watching and that they would've loved you just as much as he does <3
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ────── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
I hope you enjoyed!! I love all my boys <3
(If you find any typos, it's 2.am. give me a break pls)
#bumblebeesfromvenus#captain john price#john price x reader#captain john price x reader#soap x reader#john soap mactavish x reader#johnny mactavish x reader#john soap mctavish x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#gaz x reader#kyle gaz x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost x reader#cod x reader#cod mw2
1K notes
·
View notes
Note
What flavor of queer are you, if that's not too invasive of a question?
question is just fine with chuck it is kind of interesting story.
on LGBTQIA trot i am TECHNICALLY two letters
easy first one is B that does not need any more explanation. that has always been my trot
second way is what i have learned through talkin with my online buds way of non-dysphoric trans. it has taken chuck LONG time to understand this but it has been fruitful journey i think. long ago chuck would post online about becoming other people or things or concepts or wrestling with my IDENTITY as a buckaroo (whether that meant becoming sweet barbara or becoming my reverse twin or becoming the entire seahawks footballs team, very handsome). in fitting with my entire heckin LIFE some buds probably thought these were jokes when they were not at all. they were just personal artistic bubbles tumbling up and popping in ways i didnt understand yet.
but through posting these thoughts and THEN writing trans tinglers and talking to my trans buds online, i started to realize there are all kinds of versions of a trans identity INCLUDING the ones that rolled around deep inside of me that i never had a name for.
three events helped chuck understand this
first: the trans buds chuck talked to while researching harriet porber said 'well i always knew if i could press a button and change my body to match my gender i would instantly do this' and chuck thought 'of course woudlnt we all do this?' and they said 'well no, do you feel this way?' and i would say 'yes very strongly'. i will FOREVER be grateful to trans community for these conversations and maybe it is another reason why being anti-gatekeeping is so important to chuck.
second: thought about all the games i have ever played like a dang videogame or a role playing game, chuck would ALWAYS choose ladybuck character. didnt really think this was a unique thing at time but it is a pattern across whole life
third: chuck was trotting around with some buds and they all said 'whose bod would you choose if you could transform into any body?' (this is common topic for chuck believe it or not.) and the buckaroo guys went around naming the usual brats pitt or handsome channing and it got to chuck and i said 'obviously brie larson' and then the dang guys just kind of stared at chuck and then i realized 'oh, i didnt even think my answer was unusual but i guess they were only talkin guy bods'
these three things happened pretty close to one another but they were all bubbling up for decades and expressed in various ways even chuck did not entirely understand
anyway. chucks way is NOT that i feel uncomfortable in my body and it does not bring me grief. i am not upset about it honestly. i do not even THINK about it most days. however, it is all TRUE and in a purely technical and utilitarian sense of A PLUS B then YES, male would not be my preferred gender.
didnt talk on this for a while because there are MANY dysphoric trans buckaroos who go through a lot of hardships and i have gone through ABSOLUTELY NONE IN THIS WAY. it has not made my life more difficult and it does not haunt me, so i do not want to have my voice drown out other trans buds who need space to shout. i am very privileged so even though technically this applies to chuck i do not need or want any bonus points.
that beings said, part of my journey on the autistic spectrum was to recognize that EVEN THOUGH my personal story is not tragic, it is still an important one to get out there onto this timeline. IN FACT there should be more stories of buckaroos who love being autistic like chuck. i am PROUD of my trot and i love my autism (this is also why i wanted to explicitly say my lead character in camp damascus is autistic)
so in the same way, when directly asked, i will say: i am technically non-dysphoric trans ALSO this has not weighed on my life at all. my story is not tragic it is full of joy and excitement. i will not shy away from this because there are all kinds of buckaroos on this spectrum.
anyway that is my VERY LONG TROT hope you enjoyed getting to know chuck a little more thank you for this question buckaroo
#chuck tingle#tingleverse#love is real#camp damascus#trans#lgbtq#bisexual#autism#non-dysphoric#buckaroo lifestyle#queer
14K notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
barkodsistemi2021
Barkod Yazılımı
minggk
koo! 爱ᰔ
cheetour
sabháiste cabáiste
felixsterprankster
Felix
judge-tenderly
BDE (big dyke energy)