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#i could probably say more but i gotta go back to prepping for my move lol
loveronlineee · 2 years
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Odd One Out Part 1 (Eddie Munson x Reader)
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Masterlist   All Parts
Eddie Munson x Cheerleader! Reader (She/Her)
Warnings: A joke about a hand job oop-
Synopsis: Eddie spots the cheerleaders looking at him and laughing but when one of them comes up to him to explain what they were talking about, he finds out that maybe not all the popular girls were exactly the same
Y/N notes: none
Wanna be on the Eddie Munson tag list? Look here!
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Eddie’s eyebrows furrowed as he spotted the cheerleaders looking at his table. One of them, Y/N, was softly pointing in his direction. She seemed to be describing or explaining something, probably about him. Her hands moved around as she continued to speak. He had no idea what she said but the result was the rest of the girls laughing and shaking their heads.
It didn’t really matter what she was saying. It was just the popular kids making fun of the freak once again. But the frustrated look on Y/N’s face after the girls’ reaction made Eddie curious.
She looked back at him, making her realise that the metal head was in fact somewhat aware of her talking about him. She looked guilty.
Another cheerleader at the table stood up and began walking towards the Hellfire club, making Y/N seem to panic more. The closer she got, the more close attention the basketball boys watched, glaring at the nerds.
“My friend thinks you’re hot.” As soon as the words left her mouth, the girls erupted with laughter. Eddie nodded.
“Yeah veeeeeery funny.” Y/N slammed her hands down on the table and got up. She stormed over to her friend and gave her shoulder a little push, signalling her to go back and sit down. Her anger melted away as she turned to Eddie.
“I am SO sorry about my friends.” Eddie shrugged and gave her a smile, playing it cool even though he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. None of the popular kids had ever apologised to him. And he could tell from her face and tone of voice that she meant it.
“It’s fine I’m used to it. You cheer girls have your fun talking shit about the nerds-“
“No you don’t get it. I wasn’t making fun of you.” That’s when Eddie sat up in his seat.
“So… what were you saying?” Eddie quirked an eyebrow. Y/N sighed and pulled out the empty chair next to him to sit down. Oooooohs could be heard from the popular kids as they watched Y/N’s every move. She rolled her eyes.
“I’ll tell you but you gotta promise me you’re not gonna annoyingly poke fun like those guys.” Eddie nodded. Y/N sighed hard before starting her explanation. “We were just talking about guys at our school-“
“As you walking stereotypes do.” Eddie commented. Y/N gave him a small glare. He purses his lips together and mimicked a zip going across them.
“Mostly bringing up the basketball team, a couple random guys from classes… then I mentioned you. And not as a joke.” Eddie couldn’t believe what he was hearing.
“Why the hell would you, Y/N L/N, talk about me? I’m not exactly a jock-“
“That’s the thing though!” Y/N excitedly interjected, leaning closer to him and pointing like she did earlier. “You could be.”
“Me? Like one of those basketball assholes?”
“No listen. If you cut your hair short, wore the outfit. You’d be just like them.” Eddie scoffed. “It’s true though! You’re tall, you gotta bit of muscle, a pretty face. If you really wanted you could have those cheerleaders all over you.”
“Y-You… you think I have a pretty face?”
“Oh come on Eddie I’m not blind. Just because the other cheerleaders can’t see past the metal head look doesn’t mean I’m that way too.” She smiled as she stood back up. “Well I’m gonna go and sit back with my judgemental friends.”
Eddie watched her walk back and glare at the group of preps as they continued to giggle. Some of the basketball guys stood up to surround her too.
“So you ask him out L/N?” One guy jokingly said, making sure it was loud enough for Eddie to hear.
“What’s that Y/N? You’re gonna jerk him off behind the school?” The group laughed. Y/N didn’t look embarrassed. She just looked done.
“I almost feel sorry for her.” Mike commented. The rest of the Hellfire group had been observing the whole exchange, finally deciding to speak up.
“Doesn’t even look like she’s their friend.” Dustin added. Lucas nodded.
“More like their punching bag.” Eddie nodded in agreement. He caught her eye once again. She gave him a soft smile.
She was like a Princess stuck in a tower, trapped by a bunch of tiny dragon assholes taunting her.
And he needed to save her.
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flatmatttresss · 2 years
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a smile plastered on your face as you say at the table with doctor theo, grinning absently over a cup of coffee. the sun beamed brightly through the window; a rarity around here, you quickly noted, for things to feel so at peace. nina shuffled behind you at the sink, watering her plants dutifully as she always does.
she suddenly stops what she's doing, the water being shut up with a quick slam, and suddenly nina is out the door with doctor theo trailing her quickly. you stand quickly, the table shifting forward with your quick change.
the scene outside the clinic's front door is... red. that's the only word that comes to mind. it's red, sticky, and frightening. worick is holding into nicolas's shoulder tightly, a sad attempt at keeping him upright. worick seems dizzy, his one good eye is closed tightly and he's clearly gritting his teeth.
doctor theo breaks the tense silence, grabbing worick beside his daughter, pulling the large man to his feet so nicolas could be attended to, "he must be crashing from an overdose."
you snap into action, sitting nicolas up against the wall of the clinic until theo gets back from putting worick in a bed, "what happened?" you quietly imply, brushing your thumb over his brow to stop the flow of some blood.
'job went bad,' he signs, brows furrowing, he's gritting his teeth too.
"jesus christ nic..." you sigh softly, slinging his arm over your shoulder and standing. blood streaks onto your side from his stained clothes, and you start to worry how doctor theo is going to be able to pull nic through on this one.
nicolas grunts the entire way to his bed. nina has already prepped herself with her apron and gloves, following her dads orders diligently. the two get worick and nic patched up quickly and leave to clean themselves thoroughly.
you clean up the dried blood on worick carefully, pulling the sheet up over him so he can rest. moving on to nicolas, who is lying with his eyes closed and chest somewhat heaving. you dip a sponge into a bucket of soapy water and start to gently scrub at the dried blood on his side. there's stitches now, thank god.
"you do a lot," nicolas brokenly mumbles, eyes still closed tightly in pain and small grunts coming from his chest, "thanks." he doesn't look you in the eye when he says that.
"it's my job. as the oldest ya know?" you smile softly and continue to scrub, "im not into it the way nina is, but i try to help dad where i can," you sigh and squeeze the sponge out into the bucket, "i look out for both of them. kinda like you look out for worick."
"that's different," he says it tiredly like he's ready for the conversation to be over. maybe it's because it hurts your feelings, or maybe you understood that it WAS different, but you kept your mouth shut, "maybe it is."
he opens one eye, the one not caked in blood, and grabs your wrist where you're cleaning his side, and signs slowly, 'different.'
you nod softly. it never dawned on you unstick now that you don't really understand the entire natures of his relationship with worick. it just seemed from the outside that nic was some sort of bodyguard, or maybe a very concerned friend. either way, you never asked. it seemed like something you weren't allowed to pry about. years of helping your dad treat worick and nic's wounds had taught you that silence was sometimes the key. the two of them were so secretive as is, so it didn't seem to be your place to ask questions. nic always seemed more stand off-ish than worick, though, with his quiet nature and curious eyes following every movement you made.
you sighed and gave up getting all the blow off of his side, moving to his eye with a tiny dish rag, "this ... this is probably gonna burn. it's caked in your eyebrow, so i gotta use some pressure," you tilted your head down so he could read your lips, "okay?"
he nodded quietly and closed his eyes tightly, grunting when you grazed the deep cut shiver his eyebrow, "sorry... i told you it would hurt,"
'it's fine,' he signed.
"... sorry i... compared myself to you."
'im not someone you want to be compared to,' he signed, turning a bit to look out the window.
"well... i could pick worse people to compare myself to," you shrug, gripping his chin gently to turn him back so he could see what you were saying, "let me finish cleaning you."
you moved closer to him. the rag in your hand had turned brown and red in places and it smelled like dirt. you cast it aside and grabbed ointment, squirting some onto his brow scar and applying it generously.
nicolas gripped your wrist gently with one hand, pulling it away from his face and looking up at your gently. he sat that way for a second, searching your expression for something, before he turned your hand and kissed the back of it.
your cheeks warmed gently and you sat there for a moment, wrist hovering in the air, "oh... thank you nic," you smiled brightly at him, noting the tint on his cheeks but his expression stayed the same. he seemed very sure of what he'd done, and you made peace with that.
"okay, you're all clean now. feel any better?" he shook his head and huffed in pain, trying to say 'no. im still in pain' without signing. you grinned softly and breathed out a small chuckle, "aside from that." he nodded then, sighing sleepily and turning into his good side.
you smiled gently and grabbed his hand before he'd fully settled into his side, kissing the back of it very gently, and leaving quickly before you thought what you'd done through.
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bunbeeplays · 3 months
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The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 17 - Tiffing with Tiff
The next day, the band, and Tiff, go to Miko and Penny's new apartment to talk about their song choices. Penny doesn't love the white features but Miko likes how clean it looks, and love is about compromise. Penny can at least have her eclectic furniture to brighten the place up.
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Miko: Thanks for agreeing to meet us here. I know San Myshuno is far from Tartosa.
Drew: No worries, it's all the same loading screen.
Miko: Uh, Tiff? Where's the other violinists? They were invited too.
Tiff: As lead, I can relay any info back to my cohorts.
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Miko: Okay then. Did you all have a chance to look over the sheet music we sent you?
Ophelia: Yes! Let's pull them up.
Tiff: You young people and your technology.
Drew: It's the same technology every Sim has had since 2014, Tiff!
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Penny: You guys are the experts. What do you think?
Moses: They're all great songs! Unique but not too wild. You have no idea how many times we get the same old songs to play.
Penny: You know I've gotta keep it fresh!
Miko: I vetoed some of the more... outrageous suggestions.
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Penny: Looks like out ceremony music requires violin and piano. You okay doubling up, Piano Man?
Moses: I get double the pay so you know it!
Penny: Tiff, you good to learn the sheet music? I know this probably isn't the type of song you usually play.
Tiff: Already memorized.
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Ophelia: I love your first dance song. I've been singing it for days. It's starting to get on my girlfriend's nerves!
Miko: Oh, you and Libby made it official! Congratulations. You've posted a bunch of pics with her on Simsta lately, so Penny and I had a hunch.
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Tiff: I see. You two are... very friendly with Miss Ophelia outside of work, huh?
Penny: Well, we kind of cornered her in a coffee shop. Hard to keep things strictly business after that. Plus, who else would I constantly text asking to go to the Spice Festival with me?
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Tiff: I see. Well, I have connections of my own. Heard of Ty Harper? Head writer for PlumBright Magazine? I could get him to write an entire feature on your wedding!
Penny: The scumbag from that trashy gossip rag? No thanks. You're friends with him?
Tiff: ...I'm married to him
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Miko: Uh, moving on. Were there any issues you all saw with the songs for the reception?
Drew: No, everything looks good. People might have song requests but we know a ton of songs.
Ophelia: My mind is a steel trap for song lyrics, I should be good to cover most requests.
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Tiff: If young Ophelia doesn't have the range for a certain song you want I'd be more than happy to fill in!
Miko: Uh, thanks, but we made sure we selected songs in her range. I'm sure requests will be fine. You're amazing at violin, we'd like you to do that.
Tiff: I can do both!
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Penny: Lady, we don't want you to do both, she's trying to be nice. You're lucky you're playing at all, after the way you treated Miko during our tour! Lucky for you, my fiancée is a lot more forgiving than me!
Tiff: In my defense, teens and young adults look exactly alike!
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Miko: Honey, it's okay! Tiff, we're happy with the plan we currently have. We'd appreciate if you focused on getting your team prepped. You're an amazing violinist.
Tiff: Well your taste in singers is... different than mine but you sure know your stuff about string instruments.
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The elevator ride downstairs is awkward. Tiff doesn't seem to notice or mind.
Tiff: The clients' questionable choices aside, I'd say that was a successful meeting. Gotta say, that Pizzazz girl has a screw loose. Guess that's why she's such good friends with you, eh, Ophelia?
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Ophelia: Do you constantly have to undermine and insult me every chance you get? I've been trying real hard to be civil.
Tiff: I'm sorry, it's just really easy to undermine you, sweetheart. You still have your baby fat.
Ophelia: It was just the holidays. This is regular fat!
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Ophelia: I'm singing at this one wedding! It sounds like you're going to sing at the rest of them after this! What's the big deal?
Tiff: You KNOW the big deal. This is a celebrity wedding. One of the guests could make me a star and you just stumbled ass-first into this gig!
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Drew: Tiff, you're being more ridiculous than usual. The clients made their decision. You're not going to change their minds.
Tiff: Why's everyone on her side? This was supposed to be my big break. You don't know what it's like to have something so huge taken from you!
Ophelia: You don't know anything about me! If your husband is such a big shot, just get connections through him.
Tiff: He's too good of a man to abuse his power like that.
Moses: Didn't he send paparazzi to Judith Ward's second husband's funeral? Tiff: No one asked, Moses.
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Tiff: Fine, if you're determined to embarrass yourself on that stage, be my guest. Don't worry, I'll stay away from you until the wedding. Worrying about you destroying the Laurents' reputation is going to give me stress wrinkles anyway.
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Ophelia: UGH! What is her damage! Does she have some sort of tragic backstory or something?
Drew: Nah, I think she just likes being a bitch.
Moses: Look, let's not worry about her now, love. We've got your back. Let's go to the venue and practice, yeah?
Ophelia: Okay. Thanks.
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wanderedaway · 1 year
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7, 18 and 23 for the ask game bestie ♡♡♡
7. Favorite actor of the year?
Oooooh, I was gonna say Robert Pattinson because I did start a dive through his filmography. And a dive through Paul Dano's, too.
But I think it's gotta be Joseph Quinn! I don't know, but it all started out with Eddie Munson. I was hooked on his first scene! I'm really excited to see where Joseph Quinn goes from here.
18. A memorable meal this year?
My best friend's brother made some ramen the Sunday after my birthday. Me and my best friend were celebrating my birthday a little late this year. The ramen was so good, I almost cried.
He had spent a good chunk of the prepping it, too. It was really freaking good! I hope I can have some again sometime. 😊
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That night on its own was pretty memorable (especially with the Bullet Train theme my bestie had for it. I don't know how she found the stuff that she did, but I love that she made it happen. 🥲), probably the happiest I'd been in a long time. Especially since usually around my birthday, I'm feeling pretty down. I don't know what I'd do with Sarah and her family. 🥲
23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?
You're not going to be happy with the achievements you've made this year. That's just kinda how that works. You just need to be happy, dare I say it, with the journey, the time and effort you spent to get where you are now. It's the progress you made that you should be happy with because you're in a different spot than you were a year ago or five years ago, etc.
Looking back, I got my license, I tried to save more money, and I bought a freaking car! I asked for a raise and kept checking up on it and finally got one. Even though I might be less than satisfied with the timing of it, I freaking did what I set out to do. And I never set goals for myself. I've never been good at following through.
Next year is going to be kinda scary, but somehow you'll figure it out.
Our (me and past self) plans are to move out. We just gotta be patient and keep looking around and see what comes up. Hopefully prices don't rise any higher than they already are. 🥲
Send me an end of the year ask?
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muwi-translates · 2 years
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Still haven't been able to play Auld Lang Syne due to work, but it sounds like I have to prep myself to deal with a very emotional last part for Bustafellows. Technically, Full Circle landed on a cliffhanger, so I guess that makes sense. In the meantime tho, I'm replaying routes again because I'm a sucker and I like everyone's routes so much. Playing blind, I got Crow first, but I've replayed Shu's route the most tbh. Shu's route is so good as a story. Not to mention, since his route, I went to look up the song he quotes, Yellow Rose of Texas, and it's so interesting. I also didn't realize Calamity Jane is also an irl move too - I don't think the plot is quite the same, based on the synopsis tho. Since there's going to be a season 2, I hope Teuta (in Shu's route) will pick up some of Shu's idiosyncrasies- like using the phrase 'The Yellow Rose of Texas' when she has to force herself to do things, or also giving Shu a "anything you want coupon" too, just for funsies. That being said, what would you like to see them touch on in Season 2? Any particular sort of conflicts or stories you want to see? - Anonymous
I wasn’t very fond of Full Circle - they could have executed it way better. I think Minetaka’s (the writer) strong suit is characterisation and character development and not so much the actual mystery, haha. But Auld Lang Syne was a bit better in my opinion! But still not the best.
omg I’ve replayed Shu’s route the most too LOL I think I finished the game in 40 hours but added on another 40 hours just from me opening the game to replay Shu’s route. The majority of my save files are just various points of his route too. His overall development from Chapter 1 to the end of Side B is probably one of my favorite in all otome I’ve played. The way you can really see/feel the relationship beats from Ch1′s hostility to being neutral about her in Ch2, to him accepting her more at the end of Ch2 when she accepts him for who he is. And then depending on what route you go on, either something like familial care towards her or romantic love??? It’s just so good. I could write a whole essay about how he changes over the course of the game.
**Bustafellows Shu route spoilers for anyone who cares**
I think one of my favourite parts is how he’s all “I don’t expect you to understand me nor do I want to tell you about me” at the start, but then they get close and he opens up to her by telling her about the list - but at this point it’s kind of just his general circumstances, stuff that the other Fixers would probably know about too. The next step is him telling her about himself again but they’re only fond and happy memories and doesn’t elaborate much. And THEN later, the first time he actually completely spills his troubles to her, is when he gives her the lighter and tells her he wants her to help quit smoking?? This coming from the guy who purposefully triggers traumatic memories by smoking? He’s LITERALLY giving her the keys to that? He wants to be? Emotionally close to her? By letting go of his trauma of not wanting to be close to others?? How dare you... do this to me!!!! 
**End**
I’m rambling you gotta hold me back LMAO - I didn’t know Yellow Rose of Texas was a real folk song - it’s actually quite nice and has a good melody. I’m super curious how Minetaka stumbled across it. I can really see how he must be a bit of a American-movie buff, both from references like these and just the overall vibe of the game.
I have a lot of faith in Minetaka to write something interesting and cool for Shu, so I don’t really have anything in particular I want to see. Rather, I have stuff I don’t want to see: I don’t wanna see them get married! Specifically, I would be a little angry if Shuteu is the only pair that get married. I would be less mad if it was a shared end between say, Shuteu and like, Limteu or something (I can actually see it for Limteu, at least). Just because I think it would undermine the themes and messages present in Shu’s season 1 route. I don’t really like the ‘mature LI’ route ending with marriage as if marriage is just the default conclusion for romances.
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inkofamethyst · 1 year
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December 4, 2022
ONE MORE WEEK ONE MORE WEEK ONE MORE WEEK ONE MORE full week of classes during which I have a lot to accomplish (and catch up on) as I wait in a limbo to see whether I can skip two of my final exams or not (gotta prep for this Tuesday’s midterm agh).
I told the first three potential advisors that I’d submitted the applications for their schools (which is what a good potential advisee does) and the first one got back to me and said they were happy to see my name on the list (!!!! (objectively, that was the worst application of the three (it just... it felt really cobbled together and a little juvenile and perhaps unfinished/unrevised/unedited tbh), so if I do happen to get in there it will likely be my letters of rec that save me (and, of course, my arresting personality :P))) and another one emailed me tonight during my rehearsal and told me that my personal statement was "excellent” ((!!!!!!!) she’s one of the people I knew before I started these apps so it makes more sense that she’d be a bit more informal with me lol (obviously it’s far from a promise of admittance, but it’s still nice to hear because I will be pulling from that statement of purpose specifically to write the next five (literally I could probably copy/paste from that one to my “safety” program and switch up a few things then submit it tomorrow but Imma hold off (also “safety” is in quotes because it’s still a PhD program regardless of how it isn’t super selective (and while I don’t know for sure of any verified examples of “yield-protection” (which is something that got brought up a lot when I was perusing various forums (do not recommend) as I was stressed out over undergrad admissions (I am making a conscious effort to not do that this go-round)) there’s also a chance of that happening to me with that program, so)))))!  So I’m feeling great!  Nevermind the giant spider that greeted me when I got home from rehearsal today which my roommate had to kill for me!  People are excited to see my application!! [edit 3, 2 weeks later: I now believe that “I was glad to see your application” (except from the lady I know I think) is a canned reply aimed at not inciting my fear response, and it worked for two weeks but now? oh boy] [edit 4, about 2 weeks after edit 3: maybe.. maybe I let the insecurity win again; I keep forgetting that people often mean what they say and that I should stop looking for reasons why people might lie to me]
Those were really nice to hear because my parents were talking with me and mentioned that even if I got into my “safety” only, it might not actually be the best move to go there because it’s not regarded as highly as the other schools on my list and could be more trouble than it’s worth in the future when I have to find a job and I’m competing with students from big-name universities.  Like, where you attend for undergrad isn’t as big a deal as where you got your terminal degree from, and you can’t get any more terminal than a PhD, so I’d want it to count.  But.  I will only consider that if I have to.  For the time being, I will submit all of my applications (unlike four years ago where I decided not to apply to my Choice 10 because I’d been admitted to my Choice 8 before the Choice 10 deadline and would’ve preferred Choice 8 over Choice 10 any day (funny thing is, I ended up deciding between 7 and 9 because of finances, and I chose Choice 9 (and I’m fully satisfied with that choice!  it’s just so wild that it was at the bottom of my list then (my decision has since been justified by US News and World Report, by the way, as for the past four years at least my Choices 7+9 have been tied in national rankings, but this year, my senior year, my uni pulled ahead <3 (I fully recognize that rankings are not the only thing about a school that matter, but I think it’s okay to be a little shallow sometimes))))) and wait.  Impatiently, but I will wait nonetheless.
Lots to do lots to do lots to do.
I’m thankful that I went back home this weekend.  It’s (hopefully) one of the last years that I can just make little weekend surprise visits to my family on the fly, and while I want to leave this state which I’ve lived in my whole life, I will also really really miss my family.
This week I am going to make a conscious effort to take care of myself because I’ve been slipping for like the past month and as soon as I got home my mom was like “did you lose weight” and keep in mind that a) I’ve been the same weight since I was 12 and b) they saw me a week ago.  Anyway I weighed myself and I’d lost five pounds at some point???  Dunno if it was all just this week, and she wouldn’t/couldn’t tell me how she knew, but maybe it was the sunken eyes, tired stance, slow walk combo.  But!  No more skipping breakfasts, no more late nights [edit: HA it is now 1 am and I am bad at going to bed, apparently [edit 2: I did not go to bed until 3 am but I did finish an assignment]], facewashes daily, actively spend time outside my room.  A self-care a day keeps the burnout away or something like that.
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celestialpotat0 · 5 months
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I'm definitely old now
In 2023 I struggled to reconcile my desire to stay out late at night and make memories with my desire to have a restful sleep schedule. In my 20s I would regularly leave the house after 11pm because many spots and events don't get lit til around 12am. In 2023 I think I pretty much always chose sleep over staying up. Was supposed to go clubbing for my friend's birthday party, and I really wanted to go. But I probably wouldn't have been home til 3am, which would inevitably cause me to wake up early to go into work after some sleep-deprived days. I'd risk making mistakes at work or thinking too slowly at work, which could cause patient harm. Then I'd go home from work and be too tired to meal prep, work out, clean, study, etc. so that day would be wasted. And it'd take prob a few days to correct the 1 night of staying up too late. So i told him wouldnt be able to stay up late for clubbing, and in a way i shocked myself at how unfamiliar this new me is, given how much i loved going out dancing.
The Killers have a special place in my heart because their music transports me back to the middle school version of myself. I listened to Hot Fuss so many times in middle school and the drama spoke to my angsty, emotional, and insecure self. that younger version of me who constantly dreamed about a grander life. When they came to SF, I knew that it'd mean so much to go to their concert; I have this obsession with nostalgia and attaching sentimental significance to certain things so I can commemorate memories and try to relive or reexperience them. (yes i realize that was extremely redundant word choice but idc bc i gotta head into work in a bit.) But I decided with difficulty to miss their concert since I had early morning work the next day.
I have extra special fond memories of NYE in past years- gathering with lots of strangers, dancing, bundled up under thick layers and scarves to ring in the new year. in those moments that you're gathering and celebrating and chanting the last ten seconds of the year out loud in unison with everyone around you, you KNOW you're going to remember those exact moments of revelry and joy for years to come. but i turned down my friend's invitation to celebrate this year because i had work in the morning on New year's day.
These are just some examples of when me in my 20s might have leaned toward going. While I admit the clubbing may have been the pursuit of hedonism as dancing is joy found in a simple act of moving to music and allows me to leave all my worries behind off the dance floor, the concert was more about nostalgia and NYE was more about creating memories. In 2023, there were many other times when I consistently chose over and over again to NOT stay out late. Mainly because I felt an obligation to be responsible for my job. friend invited me to watch a movie that starts at 7pm next Friday--I told him I'll have to sit this one out because idk if i'll even be awake by the end of the movie.
a 7pm movie on a friday evening is too late for me now... welcome to my 30s.
I've recently started to reframe my perspective on getting older. im obviously starting to realize now that I feel way more wrecked on 5 hours of sleep than i used to. body aches appear spontaneously now. the appearance of my body and face is not what it used to be. but im actually really appreciating the present, because i think about how in my 40s I'm going to WISH I could be back in my 30s. And in my 50s I'm going to think man I really had it good in my 40s. So thinking of future me makes me appreciate the body I have today, and I actually feel grateful. I'm quite proud of shifting my perspective because when I was like 28-30 I used to feel miserable about the thought of getting older. I had best fully appreciate this time now, because it will slip away into the past, so I want to savor it all now while Im lucky enough to have it. i will say the weights ive been lifting have been the heaviest theyve ever been, so there are small victories.
My really dear friend is in her 90s and has sciatica. She has been in a lot of pain. But the other day I received a package from her in the mail. She'd sent me pecan pie and cookies. To know that she baked a pie and cookies and packaged them up and shipped them over to me from San Clemente, all despite her sciatica pain, is one of the most meaningful acts of kindness i've received. As i get older I also better understand just how much love is delivered through food. anyone who has cooked and prepared food for me, i realize how much it takes to do that and the abundance of love that is poured into and expressed through food. im so inspired and touched to witness that kindness and am grateful our paths crossed.
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losebetter · 3 years
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DEVIANT FAIRIES: trauma, kink, and the brutalist commodification of gay male bodies in ‘fairy ranmaru’
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hello, i need to get something out of the way before anything else: i love this fucking show. f-ran is a snappy, stunning FEAST of bizarre spiritual themes, unfathomable camp aesthetics, shameless male upskirts, and illegally good music. if this show had been just a fun take on the magical girl genre of story made to sell body pillows of scantily clad adult men, i would still enjoy it. because it does that, and it does it well; fairy ranmaru tells you precisely what it’s going to be within the first three minutes... maybe.
if you’ve not read any of my writing before, and you’ve only seen the title of this essay, you might think i’m about to critique it for handling something poorly - and, for sure, there are definite points that could do with critical analysis! - but i want to give f-ran a hand for something i’ve only given to sarazanmai before it: it is not shy about the reality it comes from. 
(this essay is a meandering draft, but i’m posting it now because i’m moving house and will completely lose track otherwise! hopefully y’all enjoy anyway!) (word count: 1,600w)
TABOO #10 - LIBERATION
sarazanmai, from the bones, is aware of how gay men are typically treated in media - it’s the entire point! gay and queer men are hypervisible, our private lives made public through a voyeuristic obsession with what goes in which hole, who tops, and how Inherent Masculine Anger translates to inherently violent relationships. romantic feelings between men and boys can ONLY be over the top, tragic, and predatory, even among innocent kids who just want to connect to each other. the soft, gentle moments that make up fictional romance are things gay men simply don’t get; our intimate lives are wrung out for cheap, easy jokes, and then we are killed. what makes sarazanmai so good is - well, a lot of things, but also - that it faces this head on. it dares the viewer to make fun of it, and puts the onus for this constant clown show of suffering on those who created it, instead of its gay male victims. and, of course, it subverts these tropes as it calls them out. seriously, watch sarazanmai if you’ve any interest in queermasculine politics specifically, it’s a treasure.
of course, sarazanmai is a work of niche genius created by a legend. its storytelling was so precise and economical that it literally only needed eleven episodes instead of the more traditional twelve, which at this point i’m convinced is just a flex on ikuhara’s part? i’m not saying that fairy ranmaru is trying to do that - in fact, i see this as a point in its favor.
the reason i bring up sarazanmai and this entire topic of bare-ass, balls to the wall ownership of the mockery gay men are faced with by the media, is because f-ran does this same thing - but even louder. f-ran’s storytelling is not economical or precise - each episode has TWO full transformation sequences, the second of which feels like just a way to show off each individual boy’s design from every angle. yes, even that one. f-ran is messy - it paints broad, filthy strokes across everything from masculinity to idol culture to the manga industry to sex work to nazi apologism, with the squeak of a twink and the crack of a whip. it is pure, resplendent camp revelry. oscar wilde would shit himself to death. frequently i watch new episodes of this show and all i can do is dump my head into my hands and ask, gleefully, “who is this even for? who would make this?”
my friends, i can’t answer that. but through a combination of boyish pluck, stupidity, and intersectional dedication to this topic, i can at least expand on someone who’s benefiting from it: kinky, messy people. of which i am one! hi!
SEXUAL HEALING
so, when i say “brutalist commodification,” i want to make clear what i mean: it isn’t to imply such a thing is inherently “brutal”/negative. i mean it more the way you would describe brutalist architecture; the commodification itself isn’t my area of interest, but how its presentation is inescapable, blunt, and heavy enough to drown someone. i had a chuckle recently about someone critiquing the show by saying that it looked compelling, but that they were put off by the blatant hypersexualization of it -- that they should’ve left the flagrant fetish content out of it. a friend and i found this funny because our first thought was “wait, what does it have without that?”
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it isn’t just the flamboyant transformation sequences, or the flashes of fanservicey stills so specific that it’s not clear to me whether they’re ironic or not. it’s the entire flaming core of the show. to my mind, f-ran stands out so much because it committed to what most other attempts to apply the magical girl genre to men and boys fall short on - if you’re going to add sincerely to a genre that typically hits the notes of coming of age, justice, devotion, team-as-family, gender politics - and yes, sexual agency, transformation, and the ownership and power of one’s own body - you have to Actually Do That. and these are all subjects that work very differently for men and boys in media, particularly queer ones. i’ve already talked about why, even, so let’s put the concepts together:
if, inside of your rather lighthearted show about putting boys in cute outfits, you want to tell sincere and genre-appropriate stories about the rich inner lives of queer men, there are gonna be some things you’d logically have to address that might be - well... uncomfortable. by choosing to engage with that stuff head-on, with the aesthetic flair and utter shamelessness with which it tackles everything else, fairy ranmaru has set itself apart.
here at episode 10, i couldn’t tell you if it will actually answer many of the interesting questions it’s brought up thus far -- but simply asking them is enough for me. homura has had an interesting arc about loyalty, anger, masculinity, violence, and justice: how to balance it all, how fair it is to put that responsibility on young men, and how even gentle boys suffer under that weight. takara - arguably the most objectively interesting character of the lot - practically seems like the show writing meta about itself, while still managing to characterize him in an interesting way: how does a man who has relied on commodifying himself his entire life just to survive compartmentalize that? what does he do with the social power he’s gained from his own sacrifice? is there anything that could make that power worth it? all five of the main characters (six, counting chilka) have very different and compelling stories to tell.
because this essay is about fetishes and trauma, though, there’s one i’d like to focus on specifically -- uruu, whose characterization falls neatly in the middle of that venn diagram.
RISE FOR THE QUEEN
the concept is pretty simple. the character most obsessed with purity, nobility, and good conduct is actually a freak in the sheets - it’s funny! it’s also an exaggerated, familiar catharsis for many gay folks watching; we see a man with a stick up his ass, who denounces at every turn being a deviant, eccentric, perverted qu -- ahem, fairy, and then he turns out to be - you know.
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he turns out to be that.
we’ve all met this guy in fiction. typically he’s a villain (i’m looking at you, ADAM sk8), so f-ran is already doing something interesting and fun with him that we don’t often get to see. but, much like the element uruu symbolizes, it goes deeper.
in ten episodes, two of which feature him prominently, uruu has had three explicitly sexually charged scenes, each referencing a relatively hardcore kink - tentacles, suspension/CBT, and oviposition in chronological order. this isn’t a stray ahegao face with him, this is character development, intended specifically for the weirdos bold enough to actually look at it. if fetishistic fanservice was f-ran’s starting point, uruu’s storylines (about being bound to expectations, seeking harsh punishment for transgressions, and seeing himself as a parasite inflicted on his mother, respectively) ground that fanservice in something real for an audience to empathize with. 
there are probably ways to tell many of the other stories in this show “without the sex,” as a means of making it more accessible to a less specific audience, but what makes uruu so compelling is that he can’t be separated out from his “deviant” desires. his psychosexual development is a vital part of who he is and the role he plays - and by contextualizing his kinks, f-ran suggests a depth and humanity to every other character, too, right alongside the in-jokey fanservice shots. it doesn’t mock the viewer for engaging with sexuality in the show, because to do so would undermine uruu’s entire character; instead, it rewards folks looking for substance in the goofy, jazzy sausagefest by providing it. it feels strange to describe anything fairy ranmaru does as “subtle,” but i really think there’s a grace and brilliance to how it throws wide the boundaries of most media’s constraints on fictional men - and keeps those boundaries open for characters (and viewers) usually disregarded.
honestly, it’s a bit silly for me to write this with there still being two episodes left to go -- i can’t make any kind of final call on Whether The Series Is Good Or Not. what i do know is that it’s devilishly fun, and has already done some unique, compassionate things that i really respect. onward! o7
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hornime · 3 years
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watch and learn | iwaizumi hajime x f!reader x team japan
there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.
warnings: 18+, timeskip!everyone, BIG MANGA SPOILERS BASICALLY, exhibitionism, voyeurism, orgasm denial
w/c: 3.1k
a/n: now i don’t know if iwaizumi hajime (27) athletic trainer learned about female orgasms when he was studying sports science at irvine BUT he def knows how to show a girl a good time which is reason enough for me to write this. also, i read this article to prep for this piece and it was super enlightening, so i do recommend giving it a read if you’re interested!
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in the middle of his morning run, iwaizumi slowed momentarily to check the repetitive buzzing of this phone, curious as to who was messaging him this early. when he’d left the apartment, you were sleeping, and you had the tendency to still be sleeping by the time he returned, so who else could it be?
he unlocked his phone, quickly finding the source of the notifications: the team japan group chat.
[06:43 AM] miya: hey @iwaizumi—you know stuff abt the human body right?
[06:43 AM] miya: cus like you studied it in college and shit??
iwaizumi rolled his eyes. i spent four years in america to earn my degree, came back home to support my country’s olympic team, and dealt with the biggest idiots of volleyball, only to get treated like this?
[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: yes, miya. i took many courses on the human body. in fact that’s the purpose of my job. to know the human body. because i am a fucking athletic trainer.
[06:44 AM] miya: okay okay i get it. dumb question
[06:44 AM] iwaizumi: why? is something up? you need help or anything?
[06:44 AM] miya: uhhh kinda
[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata i’m not fucking asking this
[06:44 AM] bokuto: bro just do it
[06:44 AM] miya: @hinata @hinata @hinata 
iwaizumi cocked an eyebrow. what the hell are they going on about?
[06:45 AM] iwaizumi: so am i needed or...
[06:45 AM] hinata: YES
[06:45 AM] hinata: we had a question
[06:46 AM] sakusa: by “we” he means him, miya, and bokuto
[06:46 AM] suna: yeah don’t bring us into this
[06:46 AM] hinata: don’t listen to them! both suna and sakusa wanna know too
[06:46 AM] iwaizumi: okay. what’s up
[06:47 AM] hinata: we wanted to know how to make a girl cum
he chuckled in disbelief.
[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: you’re telling me that you guys are in your mid-20s, literal olympic athletes, and you don’t know how to make a girl cum
[06:47 AM] iwaizumi: have you never done it before??
[06:47 AM] miya: NO
[06:47 AM] miya: FOR THE RECORD IVE MADE MANY GIRLS CUM
[06:48 AM] bokuto: ME TOO
[06:48 AM] bokuto: i think
he laughed out loud, briefly startling another runner on the sidewalk.
[06:48 AM] iwaizumi: you guys are unbelievable
[06:48 AM] hinata: i mean she says she finished but idk what i did to make that happen
[06:48 AM] bokuto: ^^
[06:48 AM] hinata: so like i wanna know how to actually do it
[06:48 AM] suna: actually im kinda interested in this too
[06:48 AM] aran: i pray for your future girlfriends. this is painful to see. im out
[06:48 AM] kageyama: i’m with aran on this one. you guys are dumb
[06:48 AM] hinata: shut up. you suck.
[06:48 AM] miya: cmon iwaizumi, help a guy out
[06:48 AM] sakusa: it wouldnt hurt for you to give us some pointers at least
iwaizumi sighed.
[06:49 AM] iwaizumi: @miya @hinata @bokuto @suna @sakusa meet in the locker room after practice. ill give you guys a lesson in the art of pleasing a woman
to teach effectively, he needed a volunteer, though he was sure you wouldn’t need much convincing. you’d always loved the attention, and the biceps, of the pro athletes. he spun on his heel and jogged home.
you woke up to the sound of your apartment door opening, your boyfriend creeping inside, forehead damp with sweat.
“hey,” you said quietly, making your way towards him.
“hey, baby. sorry for waking you up, i was trying to be quiet.”
you giggled sleepily. “s’okay, haji. you spoil me too much anyway, always letting me sleep in for hours while you’re off doing god knows what.”
at that, his eyes crinkled in amusement, and as you tried to step into a hug, he shuffled back. “woah there, baby. i gotta shower, ‘m all gross from my run. and then,” he gave you a peculiar look that you couldn’t quite place, “i got a proposition for you.”
after his shower, he waltzed out of the bathroom, steam wafting out from behind the door. his tanned body made you feel things you definitely shouldn’t be barely an hour after the sun’s risen, and you reached out to massage the tension in his shoulders. “so, what’s your proposition?”
“well,” he hesitated. “it’s a bit... unconventional. the team asked me to show them how to make a girl cum,” he took in your intrigued expression. “and it’d be a lot easier to explain if i had someone to do a live demonstration with. so,” his eyes flicked up to you. “that’s where you’d come in.”
“a... live demonstration? like you’re gonna make me cum in front of them?”
“yeah, essentially.” he gave you a devilish grin. “you want that, baby? wanna show those boys how a real man treats a gorgeous woman like you?”
you rubbed your thighs at his words. “yeah,” you purred. “i do. wanna show them how good you are to me.”
and that’s how you found yourself nestled between iwaizumi’s muscled thighs, back pressed against his chest, completely naked, with five of japan’s best volleyball players staring at your body in awe.
practically an expert in his field, iwaizumi knew the human body inside and out. this had many benefits; of course it allowed him to catapult up the ranks and work with the country’s best athletes to keep them at the top of their game, but it also had a unique side effect: an overwhelming vault of knowledge on how to make a woman feel good anywhere. 
you’d seen the proof firsthand; he knew exactly where to push, prod, stroke, and tease to have you cumming in seconds, over and over, as many times as you wanted. he was amazing, and you were well-aware just how lucky you were to have such a talented man in the sheets.
“oi,” iwaizumi snapped his fingers, drawing each of the players’ eyes away from your glistening cunt. “pay attention. i know more than anybody that she’s hot as fuck, but you gotta listen to what i’m saying or else there’s no point to this.”
he lightly pressed his lips against your collarbone, slowly tracing them against your jaw, the contact making you squirm. “if you wanna make a girl cum, first thing you gotta do is make her comfortable. if she’s worried about how she looks or sounds or smells she’s gonna be too stressed to let go.” he moved his hands to grope your tits, his calloused fingers brushing over your hardening nipples. “so reassure her, tell her how irresistible she is, how pretty her moans are, how tasty her pussy is. shit like that. the sexier she feels the better it’ll be.”
he leaned into you, whispering into your ear. “feeling good, baby? we can stop whenever.”
you nodded weakly, afraid to open your mouth, barely holding in your whines as his palms worked wonders on your chest and stomach, sending shocks of heat wherever they touched. 
you craned your neck up to observe the men before you. atsumu was flushed red, wringing his hands as if he was worried they’d do something embarrassing if he didn’t keep them occupied. hinata was bouncing his leg up and down, wiping his palms on his shorts as he took in the plushness of your thighs. bokuto was basically drooling, greedily tracing your soft curves with his eyes. suna maintained his indifferent expression, but the reddening tips of his ears showed that he was a lot more hot and bothered than he let on. sakusa stood quietly to the side, leaning against the wall, mask tucked under his chin as if he’d just realized how much the temperature had gone up in the room.
there were two things they all had in common: the growing bulges in their pants that they were urgently trying to distract themselves from, and the fact that their full attention was on you.
"make sure to try different things; there’s multiple ways to make a woman cum. only like a quarter of women experience orgasms just from penetration,” someone made a sound of shock. “yes, the number is that small, bokuto.” 
his fingertip slowly trailed past your belly button, dipping into the mess between your thighs, causing you to slightly arch your back into the solid chest supporting you. “foreplay with the clit is your best bet; even stupid fucks like you probably wouldn’t screw it up too bad.”
hinata opened his mouth to speak, but iwaizumi anticipated his question and continued.
“i know you’re wondering where the clit is. it’s around here, under this hood of skin,” he slid his digit between your labia. “s’not gonna come with a label so you gotta explore a little bit. i know where hers is like the back of my hand, but for you guys, with your girls, you’re gonna have to move your fingers around. slowly. and pay attention to her expressions.” he began to rub in a circular motion around your clit, causing you to make small whimpers of pleasure and shift your hips to meet his movements. 
“if she clenches up or twitches when you feel a certain spot, like this,” your legs flexed as he increased the pressure, “that’s the clit. be kind, it’s not a volleyball. be gentle n’ make small circles, whether it’s with your fingers or your tongue.” 
he thought for a second. “speaking of which, oral’s important. very important. most women cum when they’ve been eaten out, so use your mouths for something more useful than just dirty talk. suck on the clit, maybe tongue-fuck her a ‘lil, but your main focus should always be the clit.”
he removed his hands from your sopping pussy, and you made a pathetic noise of frustration. “’m sorry, baby,” he muttered seductively in your ear. “don’t wanna have you finishing too early. lesson’s barely started.”
he turned his attention back to your audience, his lustful tone being replaced by a more instructional one. “there’s other places that’ll help a woman orgasm, too: her nipples, her neck, her ears—”
“her ears?” sakusa questioned. he blushed profusely as everyone turned to look at him, surprised that he’d opened his mouth. “what? we were all thinking it.”
“s’a valid question,” iwaizumi said. “yeah, you can lick ‘em if they’re sensitive. hers are.” as if to prove his statement, he licked a stripe on the shell of you ear, making you wiggle helplessly at the stimulation. “‘n leave kisses everywhere else. feels good for them just like it does for us.” he wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer to him and forcing your movements to stop as he traced patterns with his tongue all around your neck.
“something you should know about an orgasm is that it’s something called a positive feedback loop.” he looked up and was met with five blank stares. shouldn’t have expected anything from these dumb jocks, he lamented. “basically that means that, once you start releasing sexual tension, things will feel better and better until you climax.”
“oh!” atsumu chirped. “like how my sets get better and better throughout a game.”
“no, not really,” he quipped. “your sets suck throughout.” atsumu frowned at that.
iwaizumi exhaled exasperatedly. “the general idea is that the body gets more and more sensitive, muscle contractions become more and more frequent, and touches feel more and more stimulating until you cum. all right?”
they all made noises of understanding except for bokuto and hinata, whose eyes had glazed over at the first mention of an academic term. whatever, iwaizumi thought. they’ll get it through example.
"don’t worry about it too much if you don’t get it, that’s just an orgasm on paper. in practice, though, this is the crucial step: listen to her. she knows what feels good. never forget that you’re just an idiot with a cock.” he took a breath, gathering his thoughts before proceeding with his lecture.
“if she tells you to slow down, you slow down. if she tells you to go harder, you go harder. if she tells you to keep doing what you’re doing, you...”
“keep doing what you’re doing”, they all chimed in at staggered times.
“that’s right. don’t go faster or else you’ll mess up the rhythm and she won’t cum. and you wanna make her cum, don’t you?”
they nodded simultaneously.
“so if you keep up the tempo and force that feels good to her, you’ll be fine. questions?”
suna spoke up. “what about,” he choked on the word. “penetration?”
hinata hummed in agreement and bokuto jumped in. “yeah, what if i wanna make her cum on my cock?”
iwaizumi made a weird face. “that’s some pretty advanced stuff, but i guess i can go over it. when you try it, though, you have to be patient. with both of your bodies. s’not rocket science but s’not always easy. also it depends on the woman but sometimes she physically won’t be able to finish from penetration alone. just make sure you’re communicating.”
his swirled two fingers over your hole before shoving them in, your wetness making it easy for him to thrust in and out as your entrance stretched to accommodate him. “f—fuck!” your eyes flew open at the intrusion and you body lurched forward, but you were held back by his strong forearm. “ohmygod, oh my g—ah! feels s’good haji, s’good!”
“i know, baby, i know. you’re taking it so well.” he turned his attention back to the men, each of who were gulping heavily. if that didn’t signal to you that they were evidently affected by your moans, the way they shifted in their workout shorts did.
“boys, focus.” he curled his fingertips, brushing at the spongy spot at the top of your walls, ripping a pleasured wail from your throat and causing tears to prick at your eyelashes. “when you’re fingering her, you’ll feel an area inside that’s a bit soft and squishy. that’s the g-spot.”
you trembled in his arms as he mercilessly struck the same place over and over again with his fingers. “when you’re fucking her, try to keep the pressure building there, but it’ll be harder to make her finish since you can’t see what you’re doing.”
your breath hitched as iwaizumi’s incessant movements brought your body tantalizingly close to your release. he suddenly stopped and you almost sobbed in disappointment, until he plunged his fingers impossibly deeper.
a guttural scream of ecstasy came from within you, and your eyes rolled back as he began playing with another part of you, your body putty in his hands. “hngh, haji, ah! so good, s’good...” you threw your hands back around his neck, nails digging into the skin as you desperately tried to keep yourself grounded. your soft moans filled the air.
“stop clenching,” he hissed. “can barely move my hand.” you tried to relax but failed miserably as the tips of his fingers grazed your cervix. 
“holy fuck,” suna muttered. “you’re a god.”
“she sounds so pretty,” atsumu said in amazement.
“i wanna make a girl feel good like that, too!” bokuto sulked.
“you can do it, bokuto!” hinata hit him on the arm. “just listen to iwaizumi. clearly he knows what he’s talking about.” 
their eyes refocused on your figure, writhing in pleasure, prompting white hot waves of arousal to pool in their stomachs. 
“yeah,” sakusa said. “clearly.”
“stop talking,” iwaizumi ordered. “and listen. beyond the g-spot is the cervix, which is basically the end of the vagina. if you’re long enough,” he briefly scanned each of their faces, “which i’m sure you are, you’ll be able to reach it if you bottom out.”
“haji—hajime, please.” the stimulation was coming absolutely unbearable, and you could tell he was sadistically holding you at the edge, refusing to give you the satisfaction of finishing. “lemme cum, please. please lemme cum, please, please, i can’t—i can’t take it ‘nymore!”
“what was that? you can’t take it anymore? gonna cum?” you helplessly bobbed your head up and down, hoping that he’d give you permission. “well,” he growled, “we can’t have that happening, can we?”
he abruptly halted his thrusts, pulling his fingers out of you with an embarrassing squelch and popping them into his mouth. pearly tears rolled down your cheeks as you grieved the loss of contact and relief.
your viewers looked on in horror, feeling immense sympathy for you; you just looked so dejected from being denied yet another orgasm.
“why didn’t you—why didn’t you let her cum?” bokuto asked.
“why do you think?” iwaizumi snapped. “don’t want you guys to see her when she does. that’s for me, and only me.”
“oh, okay,” he responded, disgruntlement clear in his voice.
iwaizumi’s glare could cut glass, it was so sharp. the possessiveness that had enveloped his mind made him hyperfocus on just one thought: being alone with you. “so, any other questions? if not, we’re done here.”
you pouted at that, not wanting the demonstration to be over. “but haji,” you mumbled into his collarbone. “i di’nt get to cum. and i wanna.” you looked up at him, eyes wide with want. “please make me cum.”
iwaizumi sent a harsh glance to the players that nonverbally communicated his message loud and clear: get out. they shuffled awkwardly out of the locker room due to the hardness between their legs that they would most definitely need to deal with soon.
your boyfriend turned his attention back to you. “’m sorry, i know i had to deny you a bunch of times. i just really hated the idea of anyone but me seeing the cute way you look when you cum.”
you made a small noise of acknowledgement and a little whisper of it’s okay, haji. he looked down, sensing the way your poor, desperate cunt was pulsing around nothing, the erotic sight injecting him with the pure need to ravage you.
he shifted his head to kiss you passionately. “why don’t i make it up to you?” he breathed between your parted lips before picking you up by the backs of your thighs, forcing you to lock your ankles around his waist. 
he delicately situated you onto one of the recovery beds at the back of the room, before murmuring something that made your pussy throb in anticipation: “i’ll make you cum whichever way you want, however many times you want, all right? all you gotta do is lay back and take it.”
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© property of hornime 2021. do not plagiarize any of my writing and do not repost/copy my writing onto any other sites.
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gingersnaaps · 3 years
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sandman
to be taken by sleep really isn't such a bad thing - not when osamu's the one waiting in your dreams.
wc: 3.2k
tags/tw's(PLEASE READ): explicit n*fw, dubcon, creampie, breeding mentions, penetration, fingering, sex dreams, sleep paralysis, incubus!osamu vibes, vaguely supernatural, you fall asleep forever at the end, fem!reader with inner genitals
a/n: written for @ultimate-astridwriting's wonderful collab and inspired by my recent stint of sleep deprivation also i feel like i may have strayed a bit from the prompt but oh well
i don’t want minors interacting with my content
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You can’t recall when Miya Osamu first started appearing in your dreams.
It was a subtle thing at first: the features of strangers, normally blurred beyond recognition, melded into his half-lidded eyes and soft smile, and you’d catch glimpses of his face in the reflection of windows and out of the corner of your eye. You didn’t think too much of it. You’d read an article somewhere that mentioned how faces in one’s dreams came from the interactions in our real lives, and with how much you’d been frequenting his onigiri shop, you suppose that his appearances were to be expected.
Still felt a little strange for you to be having a dream so intimate, though.
You’re lying on top of his broad chest, one arm on your waist, the other resting gently on your thigh. His thumb rubs tender circles into your skin, stroking softly as you rise and fall with the movement of his chest.
“‘Miya?” you ask tentatively. “How did I end up here?”
He chuckles. It’s a deep, rich, sound, one that reminds you of rivers running steady and full moons in the countryside, the vibrations passing from his body to yours. When he speaks, his voice is low and a little quiet, but with his lips grazing your ear, you don’t miss a single word.
“Call me Osamu.”
The familiarity leaves your face slightly flushed, embarrassment tingling across your skin. He shifts you around in his arms, tilting your body so that you meet his warm, inviting, gaze. The hand on your thigh seems to burn red-hot, and you wonder if he can hear the heartbeat pulsing just inches away from his fingertips.
He smiles softly at you. “You’re a beautiful girl.”
Your heart seizes, malfunctions, pounds erratically-
You wake up in the dark, damp sheets clinging to your skin, heart skipping like a schoolgirl and drunk off the compliment from your dream.
There’s a bad ache in between your legs. You trail a hand down your front, fingers sliding into your pajama shorts to quell your want.
-
Dusk is falling across Tokyo when you head to Miya’s - no, Osamu’s - onigiri shop. Twilight makes giants of the pedestrians, stretches out the shadows that loom tall in the soft gray-orange of the setting sun, the darkened shapes scurrying through the city’s rush hour.
Unlike them, you’re not going home.
A busy schedule meant little time for home-cooked meals, and the food here really was excellent. When you push open the door to his shop, the jangle of a bell sounds somewhere above you, and Osamu barely looks up before a smile settles on his face.
“The usual, I suppose,” he says, beckoning you inside.
You nod gratefully. The atmosphere of the shop is comforting - there’s just a few customers trickling through, picking up their to-go order that he’s prepared. You pick a seat near the window, one that gives you an unobstructed view of the sunset outside.
The chatter dies down as the last customers leave the shop, their onigiri clutched in hand, and a peaceful silence descends on the space around you. He brings out your food just a few minutes later, setting the dish in front of you.
“As requested by my favorite customer,” he says, a wry grin on his face. “Glad to have you back tonight.”
Your stomach flutters at the closeness between the two of you, and you suddenly feel embarrassed - ashamed of how much you’d been thinking about him, of the dreams you’d been having, of the way his touch had left you wanting for more in those same dreams - but it’s a good kind of embarrassed, one that leaves excitement bubbling in your core.
It feels a bit like a crush.
“Couldn’t miss out on the food, could I?” you reply.
“So you’re only here for my onigiri.”
“I- no, of course not."
“Just teasing.”
He smiles crookedly, and for just a moment, there’s a knowing glint that flashes in his eyes - the kind of expression that makes it seem like he’s aware of more than he’s letting on - but it vanishes almost immediately, passing too quickly for you to be sure of anything.
He turns to go back inside the kitchen, lifting up a hand casually to wave goodbye. “See you soon.”
-
Upon your arrival home, the first thing you notice is how very tired you are.
It’s not too out of the ordinary - it was a Monday afternoon, after all, and that had always been your least favorite day of the week - but the minute you crash onto the couch, your eyelids seem to droop with sleep, limbs growing heavy as the room around you swirls into a half-conscious haze.
You’ve still got chores to take care of. There’s dishes from the morning to wash, laundry to fold and put away, a few work emails to respond to that were probably very important, but you just can’t seem to stave off the overwhelming fatigue that seeps through your veins and numbs your entire body.
You need to sleep.
So you let it happen. You let your eyes flutter shut, let yourself relax and melt into the soft cushions of the couch, let your mind go nice and blank and empty.
After you give up the struggle of staying awake, the dreams come quickly.
“Glad to have you back so soon.”
The warm, quiet, voice from yesterday rumbles somewhere above you. You’re laying on his chest again, ear pressed to the soft fabric of his faded black shirt. You make a small, confused, noise, but he just laughs, gently brushing aside your hair, a hand trailing down your body and creeping closer to your inner thigh.
His touch feels electric. Every brush of his fingertips against your thigh, feather-light and teasing, leaves you with your heartbeat thudding in your cunt.
“We’ve gotta get you ready,” he murmurs. “Prep you well enough so that you’ll feel good when the time is right.”
You clench around nothing at his words, and maybe he can feel it with his hand so dangerously close to your pussy, because he smiles lazily and asks, “Are you that desperate?”
You’re not sure whether you should deny it - he can probably tell you are, anyway, but the thought of nodding, of saying yes, ‘Samu, want it so fucking bad - it leaves you with your cheeks flushed hot with shame.
He doesn’t need your explicit confirmation to read the way your body twitches against his, though, and he moves his hand lower to cup around your pussy. His palm is warm, the pressure steady and constant as he holds his hand still against your throbbing cunt. You can’t help but squirm against him, sloppily grinding your clit against his waiting hand, bucking your hips back and forth for any friction you can get. You’re panting, breaths quick and shallow as you feel the drag of the cotton panties in between his skin and yours, and a lewd moan tumbles from your lips. “Touch me,” you mumble, voice thick with arousal.
You look so pretty down there, hair mussed and mouth open slack in a perfect o, getting off all by yourself - he should give you a hand, shouldn’t he?
He nudges your damp panties aside, the thin fabric creasing the fat of your pussy as he brings a thumb up to your clit. His ministrations start slow, circling your clit patiently while you writhe from the pleasure, just barely dipping his index finger into your hole, his long, dextrous fingers skilled and patient as he works to search out the sensitive spots that leave you gasping and delirious.
“I want you dripping,” he says softly, sliding his finger inside all the way to the base of his knuckle. “Want you spread out on my hand, soaking me through, wet enough for me to fuck you full.”
You shudder with anticipation at his words, hips wriggling and rutting against his stiffening cock as his finger drags along the ridges of your g-spot. Every movement of his is accompanied by an embarrassingly audible squelching noise, your cunt already swollen and hot with arousal, your slick running in a cool trail down the crease of your thigh.
He flicks his thumb against your clit, this time more harshly. “ ‘m gonna fill you up so good when you’re ready,” he whispers. “Fuck you until your pussy milks my cock dry.”
Your eyelids flutter, a rush of pleasure crashing down on you as he pops another finger inside. Your hand fists at his shirt weakly, grabbing and pawing at the fabric as he curls his fingers just right inside you.
“You’re gonna feel so fucking good, sweetheart.”
You wake up from your dream as an orgasm ripples through your body, eyes flying wide open as you squirm and thrash on the couch. The pleasure coiling tight inside your core unwinds, pulsing in your cunt as you moan.
The room is dark and empty.
You rub the sleep from your eyes, vision bleary as you reach for your phone - it reads 7:00 AM. You’ve slept for almost twelve hours.
As you get up, swinging your legs off the couch and righting yourself, you notice one intense, overwhelming, feeling that roots you to the couch and leaves your limbs limp and loose:
You still feel so tired.
-
The rest of the week seems to pass by in a blur. You’re so exhausted you can barely think straight, stumbling from your office to your home - and sometimes to Osamu’s onigiri shop - going about your life half-dazed and barely conscious.
The only respite you get is in sleep.
Your dreams have gotten particularly intense as of late, head clouding full of visions where you’re fucked in every position: shoved up against the wall, facedown in the mattress, and even hoisted up on the counter. Through it all, there’s one constant.
Miya Osamu features in every single one of them.
You know his voice by heart now, a low, quiet, rumble that both soothes you and sets your cunt thrumming with anticipation. His silver-gray hair, his round, half-lidded eyes, the softness and the warmth of his body - they’re as familiar to you as your own features by now. You’re pretty sure you’ve even memorized the feeling of his cock buried deep inside you.
In every dream, he whispers the most tantalizing promises in your ear, breathing promises of how he’s gonna fuck you so good, sweetheart, gonna fill you up, gonna breed this pretty pussy until you’re carrying my seed inside you.
And even though you never wake up well rested anymore, you find that you don’t particularly mind. After all, there’s not much you look forward to in your waking hours. Every grating hour you spend working your stupid little job, or attending your lengthy, useless, lectures - it all feels like you’re just going through the motions, like you’re just trying to make it through so that night falls sooner and he can finally come visit you.
The week comes and goes, and soon enough, it’s already Friday.
You stumble in through the front door, a yawn itching at your throat, and you head straight for your bedroom. You pass by the ever-growing stack of dirty dishes in the sink, the stack of bills on the countertop, the laundry you’ve left in the drying machine. You’ll get to it next week.
For now, you just want to sleep.
The bedroom is gloomy and dim, grey light from an overcast twilight filtering through the blinds. The room feels stuffy in the dark, the four walls suffocating the small space, but you don’t bother with turning on the lights. Why would you, when you plan on heading straight to sleep?
You undress clumsily, almost tripping as you pull off your pants and shrug off your blouse, and stagger into the soft, warm, embrace of your bed.
A warm burst of comfort surges through you as the familiar feeling of drowsiness overtakes you. Your eyelids grow heavy, lashes fluttering slightly, the thump of your heart slowing - you’re right on the precipice between the conscious and the unconscious, straddling the border between sleep and waking -
You hear a voice sound from shadowy recesses of your room.
It’s a voice you’d recognize anywhere.
“I missed you at my shop today.”
You open your mouth to respond, but no noise comes out. It’s as if your vocal cords have been plucked from your throat, your voice frozen somewhere deep inside your trachea, and the only sound you can make is that of silence. A bit belatedly, you realize that you can’t move either, your limbs settling uselessly at your side as you lie paralyzed on your back.
A head of gleaming, silver, hair emerges in front of you, and your breath catches in your throat. You’re not sure if this is a dream anymore.
You blink once, and suddenly, you find him in your bed. He’s hovering above you, arms pressed to either side of your head, gazing down with a hungry, hungry, expression. He’s waited all week for this, sweetheart - won’t you finally indulge him?
He pulls the comforter aside, large hands gliding over your body and hoisting up your hips. You feel like a ragdoll in his hands, limp and immobile, and he rearranges your limbs and positions you until he gains easy access to your ready, waiting, cunt - the same cunt that he’s been preparing all week.
He drags a finger through your slick folds, already wet and sticky from the ministrations of the previous few days. There’s no need to bother with prep. He can already feel the way your cunt pulses at his touch, can see the need etched into the gleam of your eyes even as the expression on the rest of your face remains frozen.
His hand glides over his clothed cock, strained and throbbing with need as he pulls it out and strokes slowly, eyes fixated on your body the entire time. His dick is big, flushed almost purple as cream beads at the tip, balls fat and full and heavy.
Osamu’s had enough of waiting.
With a groan, he pops his cockhead into your drooling, twitching, hole, pushing in steady, thrusting all the way into your tightening cunt until he hits your cervix.
“Feels so fuckin’ good,” he murmurs, face scrunched with pleasure. “So tight it feels like you’re trying to milk me dry.”
He rolls his hips slowly, dragging his cock along the front of your walls, the ridge of a vein pressing right into your sweet spot. Your legs twitch uselessly as he pulls halfway out before slamming his cock back in.
“I wonder if you’d like that,” he muses. He brings a thumb to rest at your puffy, swollen, clit, pressing down in steady circles, his touch unrelenting and firm, sending spasms of pleasure that leave you clenching and gripping down onto his thick cock.
“I think you would. I think you’d love it if I filled you up, if I fucked you full of cum and bred this tight little hole,” he says, the barest hint of an amused smile tugging at his lips. His voice is calm and steady - a striking contrast to his filthy words, his brazen promises.
His slow, steady, strokes quicken, hips slamming roughly into yours, each thrust satiating the want in your cunt. Your walls pulse as if they need to be filled, squelching lewdly as he fucks you hard and deep.
He leans down. His lips hover millimeters away from your forehead, just barely grazing your skin with tender, light, kisses. “Take it,” he whispers, thumb rubbing harshly at your clit. “Take it like a good girl for me. I know you can.”
The kisses he presses to your forehead start to travel down the underside of your jaw, soft little nips and bites with his blunt teeth that leaves a trail of his glossy spit on your face. His mouth finds your ear.
“When I cum, you better not waste a single drop,” he breathes. “Wanna fill you up, make you mine. I want to own this pussy.”
He brings his hand down to pat your stomach where your womb would be, rubbing the soft surface of your skin in tender circles. His balls are aching so badly - he needs to cum, needs that release, needs to stuff your messy cunt.
“Cum with me,” he urges. “Right now.”
The pleasure pulsing inside you draws taught - snaps - and you’re pushed over the edge. If you were still capable of speaking and moving, you’re sure you’d be moaning loudly, hips twitching uselessly as he creams your pussy over and over. He fucks you through your orgasm, spent cock softening inside you as you squeeze his dick. After all, he doesn’t want any of it to leak. He wants it sloshing around in your hole, filling you up until you’re warm and wet and sticky, wants to breed you, to mark you down as his.
You look beautiful with your insides stained white, he thinks.
You can feel your cunt twitching slightly as you come down from your high. He smiles warmly, gives your pussy a little pat -
You blink and he’s gone.
Almost as if he was never there in the first place.
Sleep takes you quickly after that. You’re exhausted from being fucked, exhausted from the constant stimulation, and you quickly fall fast asleep. All is silent and still in your darkened bedroom.
-
The next day, right as the sun starts to drop over the horizon, glinting stars nestled in the sky high above, you find yourself back in front of Osamu’s onigiri shop.
It’s partly due to the hunger gnawing in your stomach, but it’s more out of curiosity than anything. You need to know if it’s real, if he’s real, if the past two weeks were nothing but a fever dream.
And you really want to see him again.
As you push open the door to his shop, you’re greeted with his friendly smile, as usual.
“Same thing again?” he asks.
“Of course.”
The exhaustion hasn’t gone anywhere. You’re still constantly tired, always drifting off during the daytime, limbs weary and worn. When you sit yourself down at the usual spot - the table near the window - that irresistible fatigue seems to creep up on you again.
It’s so calm and comforting in his little shop. The lights are warm, the view is pretty, the quiet chatter of his few customers soothing to your ears. It’s so easy to rest your head in between your hands, shoulders slumping, mind empty of every little unimportant thought, so easy to just close your eyes, so easy to fall into the rose-tinted haze of your nice, pleasurable, dreams.
Osamu comes out of the kitchen in the back of the shop, carrying your food on a plate, and finds you fast asleep with your head on his table.
He’s not surprised. In fact, he’s quite pleased.
In fact, if he has his way, you’ll never have to wake up again.
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tyvm for reading!! i really appreciate reblogs and comments - it's part of what motivates me to keep making content :)
here's my masterlist if you'd like more.
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miekasa · 3 years
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M-mie could we get some athlete boyfriend eren hcs too if you don’t mind, please and thank you😩
He is: my boyfriend, and I love him dearly. Perfect amount of himbo and athlete without being a jock, everybody give it up for Eren for being my dream boy <3
Eren plays sports year round, with the exception of maybe one or two winter seasons, just because his school/work/home life was too busy for athletics at those times. Otherwise, he’s always go something to practice for: soccer in the fall, hockey in the winter, and his choice of baseball or basketball in the spring.
He’s not a varsity athlete; that is, he’s not “committed” to any one team, so he’s not tied to playing one sport every year, nor are his academics linked to his athletics, or vice versa. He’s just a pretty athletic guy, and he’s got a lot of energy, and he enjoys sports, so naturally he plays whenever he can.
As it turns out, it does help him with his academics. Knowing he’s got practice the majority of the week forces Eren into building a schedule that prioritizes both schoolwork and sports so he can enjoy them equally. It teaches him to be independent in a way that he wasn’t expecting, but he’s come to really love.
And because he loves it, he doesn’t mind working hard for it. Liking the way he’s set it up for himself encourages him to do his best in both areas. It’s really just good for him all around: a good outlet fo his energy, a good way to spend his time, a good way to keep his grades in check, and a good way to keep himself comfortably happy and busy.
His appetite is insatiable, so it’s only dramatized when playing sports. He takes the all you can eat in all you can eat sushi a little too seriously.
The thing is… he’s a shit cook, too, so it’s not like he’s meal prepping to make sure he’s satisfying his appetite. He just buys a shit ton of food whenever he’s hungry. He’s always asking you if you wanna grab food, and part of it is to ensure that you’re eating—not as much as him, but eating nonetheless—but part of it is that he just likes sharing meals with someone.
He also doesn’t like to eat alone, so even if you only have your ten California rolls to his forty six spicy tuna rolls, that’s fine; he just wants the company.
That’s also why even if you say you’re not hungry, he’ll drag you out to eat with him anyway. And you’ll probably get fed some of his food even if you don’t order anything and insist that you’re not hungry because, “It’s really good, baby, just try it—just one bite, it’s okay I’ve got plenty left!”
He usually keeps a few granola bars and chips and other snacks of his liking on him. But because of Eren’s nature, he keeps them on you, too: in your car, in your backpack, in your apartment/dorm. You’ll meet him after class and he’ll kinda just start walking behind you, and you realize he’s opening your backpack, and you don’t even have time to question him before he’s pulling a bar out of the smallest pocket with a smile and munching on it.
Sometimes you come home and see his little protein shakes in your fridge. You definitely didn’t put them there, but you don’t move them, either. When you stock up on more when they’re running low, Eren contemplates marrying you.
If it’s been a hard week of practice or school, he tends to get sleepy when studying (usually when studying for his least favorite class, no coincidence there). He’ll close his laptop, put his hood up, and scooch his chair closer to yours before leaning his head on your shoulder.
He gets increasingly clingier the longer he naps; hand wrapping around your waist, nose poking at your neck. He’s not so subtly trying to hint that he wants you to quit studying and take him home to cuddle instead. If you don’t get the message, expect him to shut your laptop for you.
When you protest, Eren just looks at you with pouty lips and tired eyes, “Chemistry sucks anyway. Wanna nap, and also wanted you to do that thing with your hands when you massage my back for me.” (He then promptly falls asleep mid-massage on your bed).
He’s actually got a waiver to see a physical massage therapist because of how frequently he’s exercising. On occasion, he goes, but he claims he likes your massages much better. Also because he’s hesitant about a stranger touching him and once he moaned when the guy was working on his back and Eren swears it was one of the most embarrassing moments of his life.
He doesn’t get upset if you can’t make it to every game, but he does like it when you show up. Gets all cheesy and cocky with his arm around your shoulder, going on about how, “You’re my good luck charm, baby. I play better when you’re watching, you know?”
He has so much team clothing, from sweats to hoodies to t-shirts to socks. All he asks is that you wear something on game days, even if you can’t be there to support him while he’s playing. And that you keep one or two things for yourself anyway. He’ll put them in your closet for your if you don’t take them yourself <2
Because seeing you in his hoodie is always great, but his team hoodies are extra special, because they’ve got his name and his number on them. Whenever you’re wearing one, he trails just a half step behind you so he can see JAEGER printed on your back while you walk. Something about you wearing his last name around is… enticing, to say the least.
Even if it’s not the clothes branded with his name, Eren’s got a thing for you in sweats and/or workout clothes, so he’ll toss them at you whenever you sleep over. He’s always handsy, even if you’re just wearing an Under Armour shirt with the school’s logo on it; the material of it, and knowing that it’s his just makes him want to keep his hands on you.
Truthfully, he doesn’t workout all that much outside of practice. Occasionally, he’ll go to the gym with some of his teammates if they need a buddy, or go himself to stretch or take one of the free classes, but he doesn’t have a strict schedule for it. If you go to the gym, he’ll follow you if you ask, tho.
Turns out something that he does like is yoga. He’s not particularly flexible lmfao, but the stretching helps with muscle pain and tension, and he kinda finds the whole atmosphere of it relaxing. He’s still not so great at the meditation part of it, but he’s getting there.
(Actually, it’s pretty cute because on Tuesday and Thursdays, the yoga classes at the gym on campus are open-level and beginner friendly. That’s when the majority of the athletes show up, and you see people like Eren, Jean and Connie holding tree pose in the back room).
This, of course, makes him think that couples yoga is a great idea. Let’s just say, you’re lucky that Eren is strong enough to catch you and has sharp reflexes, because he’s certainly not the most balanced partner for this activity.
Game days are fun for him, and usually even if his team loses, he’s still so pumped up on adrenaline that he’s pretty happy. He only gets moody if he thinks the other team is playing dirty, or the refs are unfair, or he’s just been in a bad mood because of something that happened in his personal life; sports are an outlet for him, not his drive in life, so losing a game doesn’t take a huge toll on him.
Usually, even if he is upset about something personal, he’s able to funnel it into his game play. Small things used to make his whole sportsmanship sour, but overtime, he’s really gotten better at using his energy to fuel the right things. However, one thing that makes him foul (emotionally and literally; as in he might foul out of a game), is if he’s been fighting with you.
Sometimes it works in his favor—using the game as outlet, like usual—but it goes south pretty quickly. Because instead of using his aggression in a productive way, he gets distracted and easily pissed off, and it’s no good for anybody, especially himself. Because if he fouls out, or the coach takes him out for doing too much, then he can’t play; and if he can’t play then all that pent up frustration has no where to go; and then he’s forced to just sit with himself and his thoughts, but usually he starts deflecting and telling everyone else to piss off. Truly a no good, very bad box he’s put himself in.
You guys don’t fight that often, and it’s rare that it drags out for an extended amount of time when you do; but as with any relationship, it can happen. And when it does happen, if Armin doesn’t get to you first, expect one of Eren’s teammates to come groveling at your feet.
Or, rather, two. Because when you and Eren were fighting for over two weeks about god knows what at this point, it was Connie and Jean who ambushed you in the library. Jean had some pride to keep, but Connie was practically begging you to make up with Eren: “Look, I know he’s probably the one who said or did something to piss you off, and I’m not saying you gotta forgive him, but please just talk to him. I can’t run anymore extra laps because of him, and it’s gonna be so embarrassing if we lose to a C-list team on Friday because Eren’s funking up everyone’s attitude. PLEASE!”
Jean is more interested in the tea between you guys, but he also wants Eren to go back to being his normal hotheaded self, and not his current moody self. “He’s been playing like a bitch baby all week, and I’m gonna knock his skull in if he doesn’t fucking get his act together,” Jean rolls his eyes, “So just show up on Friday, alright? Do it for me and Connie, at least.”
When Eren does see you in the crowd at the game, it’s not a Troy and Gabriella moment, but when he sees you he feels so much relief that he’s physically calmer and way more mentally relaxed—because at this point Eren wasn’t even mad, he was just scared you might break up with him, and that fear brought out the worst in him. Seeing you in the stands, even if you didn’t wanna speak to him, was reassurance that you still gave a damn about him, and that was motivation enough.
He rushes to you after the game, wanting to make sure you don’t get swept away or leave with your friends. He’s smiling and so happy to finally see you that he almost forgets that you’re mad with him; hugging you and grinning ear to ear. When the reality kicks in, he kinda steps back at bit and rubs at his neck, embarrassed, but at least he knows he still has a chance to make things right with you.
(When you do make up, you’re surprised to find flowers and $10 coupon for your favorite pizza place in your mailbox a few days later. They’re from Connie, and his poorly handwritten note thanks you for “saving the team” and “curbing Eren’s temper).
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kageyamatobiyogurt · 3 years
Text
haikyuu boys when you jump scare them pt. 2 
a/n: here’s my post halloween present hehe and it would’ve been fitting for the month but college is a pain in my ass. anyways, these got kinda long so only 3 characters huhu
includes: miya twins and kuroo
part 1 
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osamu: 
okay so you really could have chosen a safer time to do this but then again, his guard was down 
you saw the chance and you took it 
he’s cooking, what could go wrong? he’s in his safe zone 
there he was, in the kitchen of your lovely home, mixing up some kind of batter that would inevitably become a delicious dessert later
or so he thought 
your kitchen had this opening that gave it the view of your living room
this also coincidentally meant that you could sneak underneath that “window” and he’d have no idea 
pls this man was just mixing stuff, humming to himself with the intention of feeding YOU 
but you had to
he thought that you were in the other room, up until you suddenly popped up and boomed, “”SAMU!” 
he didn’t even look at you directly so his fight instinct was unleashed
his eyes got so wide instantly and by some reflex he flung the batter upwards to put his fists up 
sadly the batter hits the ceiling and the bowl bonks him on the head on its way down 
you’re mean for this 
he just stands there, arms crossed and batter dripping down his hair and face 
he doesn’t acknowledge it, his eyes are closed and trying to maintain calm 
“babe, light of my life, why’dya do that” 
you start to feel a little bad but you’re still a little giggly at the sight of him 
“‘samu-” 
“i was cookin’ for ya, ya know” he says quietly 
you approach him, making sure to grab tissues to at least wipe his eyes 
“‘m sorry baby, i thought it would be funny,” you explained, “didn’t think this would happen” 
he’s pouty as hell but you gotta let him. you grab more tissues to clean everything up but he’s still sweet and doesn’t let you do it by yourself
he bumps you lightly out of the way to climb something to reach the ceiling 
“tsk, ya can’t even reach” he mutters
once you wipe up all the batter and makes sure nothing else is sticky, you make him feel better by washing his hair for him <3
plus he takes off his shirt so it’s still a win for you 
you set up a whole station in the bathroom, chair, towels, bubbly shampoo and clean him up 
he jokingly narrowed his eyes at you but still complied and laid back
even though he was pouty you could tell he relaxed as you ran warm water through his hair and massaged bubbles into his scalp 
you got this facial wash that smelled sweet and gently made circling motions on his cheek, his forehead, easing his eyebrows that were knitted together 
after you rinse away the facial wash, the shampoo, you put his hair up in a towel, urging him to then sit up so you could pat away water and eventually blow dry it 
when you’re done you go, “hm there, all better right?”
“mhm,” he says, lips pursing in a line before he continues, “still don’t know what possessed ya to do that” 
he’s still a baby though so his arms that were crossed still open so he can pull you closer to him, letting you stand between his legs 
he buries his head in your tummy, murmuring a “yer lucky i liked the massage” 
“you forgive me?” 
“maybe if ya promise to give me more shampooings” 
atsumu: 
ah yes, the more chaotic twin (i think) 
gosh you prepped for this 
you knew he was coming home, but he had no idea that you were already there
you decided to hide under your bed knowing that your boyfriend wouldn’t see you 
he took a while to make it to your bedroom, taking a shower sitting down at the edge of your bed 
it was perfect 
right in front of your face were atsumu’s ankles planted on the floor
you could assume that he was probably scrolling on his phone 
testing the waters, you blew very lightly on his ankles, not enough for him to get suspicious
though he did move them, a small shuffle of his feet before resting them on the floor again 
deciding that it was now or never, you reached a hand out quickly, grabbing onto his ankle and exclaiming, “gotcha!” 
the brief silence you heard must have been atsumu taking a good second to process what tf was happening 
then very quickly you heard this dramatic gasp (of course) before his feet shot up and broke free from your grasp 
you felt a rumble from the bed above you and then heard a very big THUD from where your feet were 
mans really somersaulted backwards on the bed and launched himself off of it PLS 
quickly, you crawled out from underneath to check on him
you really put him through seven different emotions in the span of ten seconds omg 
his face went from horror to shock to relief before burying his face in his hands
“why would ya do that, ya break my heart sometimes ya know” 
holding back laughter, you sat on the floor next to him 
“‘tsumuuu,” you say, trying to pull his hands from his face, “it was supposed to be a joke” 
he won’t let you pull his hands away lmao, but he just groans underneath them 
“‘tsumuuuu!” you try again, “i won’t do it again” 
he’s so dramatic he peeks through his fingers and you see one narrow eye 
“and how exactly do i know that” 
“i promise” you emphasized, squeezing his thigh 
“will ya seal it with a kiss” 
 you chuckle but move to give him a peck 
“hmph, that’s not enough” he goes, “ya need ta give more” 
he even goes to the extent of crossing his arms and closing his eyes, waiting
you rolled your eyes but complied anyway. not surprising: one more kiss was not enough 
kuroo: 
it was more of a week’s ordeal to get him 
he’s so logical that he doesn’t get paranoid easily
and simply popping out of a closet wouldn’t give you much of a reaction 
so you did little things first 
you started with shifting different things
maybe you shifted his book from one room to another. when he asked you about it, you feigned ignorance, assuring him that he probably just where he left it. or even if you had touched it, it would just be in your book shelves.
so why was it underneath the bed? 
this other time while he was in the bathroom, you shifted his laptop a couple inches on the table it was on
this other day, you took out a couple of the books from the shelf and just splayed in on the floor, knowing he’d come home before you
then one night while he was sleeping, you connected your phone to your speaker in the living room
you played these sounds of big thumps, like someone was slowly stepping heavily outside your room 
upon hearing these thumps, kuroo stirs and eventually wakes up (not knowing your phone is hidden under your pillow) 
“baby,” he says, gently nudging your “sleeping” figure, “i um, think there might be something in the living room, i’ll go check it out but if i scream call the police” 
you act like you’ve just woken up, muttering an “okay” as kuroo rises from the bed 
pls he’s still kind of asleep so the weapon he grabs to protect himself is his slipper 
after he steps out of your bedroom, you wait a couple seconds (knowing he can’t get near the speaker that fast) and stop the sounds
soon enough, your precious boyfriend walks back in, slumping into your bed, burying himself under the sheets with you
he noticed you were facing away from him on your side so he just spoons you <3
“dunno what it was kitten but i’ll protect you if anything” he murmurs into your shoulder. his breath creates warmth and after a couple seconds he’s passed out again lol
you wait another day to make your next move
it was night time again and kuroo had a long day at work. he wanted to snuggle but fell asleep faster than he wanted to
he was so tired that he didn’t even wake up when you got up from bed an hour later
what you did then was open all the cabinets in the kitchen before crawling back into bed
the next morning kuroo woke up earlier (like usual) and walked into the kitchen unprepared for what was waiting for him
you woke up when you felt him rise, but you decided to walk in after him
you found kuroo standing in front of all the open cabinets
“why’d you open everything?” you asked coyly, pretending to rub sleep out of your eyes
“me?” he asked, “wasn’t this you?”
“tetsu why would i do this?” you countered, “i never even get anything the shelves up there”
“kitten-“ he continues, but you cut him off
“i know you’re just trying to prank me, haha nice try,” you said, sending his mind into even more confusion
you then walked out of the room to get changed for the day, but kuroo just kept standing in front of the cabinets
so this really wasn’t you?
walking away you even turned the thermostat colder to add to things (making sure to put it back to the regular temperature before he noticed)
you made the house temperature fluctuate a bit for a few days
then another night you unintentionally woke up at 3 am but figured you might as well take it as an opportunity
setting the speaker a little lower than the thumps from a few nights ago, you started playing the sounds of a woman crying NSYSHSH
it was just enough so it could be heard from from your room
but kuroo wouldn’t wake up from that alone so you nudged him with your butt, acting like you were just tossing in your sleep
this always tends to wake him up even a little bit because he likes to check on you
“kitten-” he starts, slowly noticing that he could hear something
wait, we’re you upset? in the middle of the night?
blinking away at the darkness, he moved his head closer to you to check if his hearing was right, only to find you asleep like a log (or so he thought)
then a panic within him like he’s never felt began to settle in the pit of his stomach
burglars wouldn’t weep like that… could it be? no way
he tried to reason with himself internally despite the obvious way his heart was thumping
ghosts weren’t real
slowly you felt him get up, noticing that his movements were not as bold as that other night
kuroo slowly walked out of your room, steps quiet as hell in fear of something coming at him
he made it to the hall that brings your room to the living room and you knew you had to get him before he saw the speaker
luckily in his mind filled with fear and the increasing volume of those woman’s sobs, he had no idea you followed behind him
your steps made no sound because you had socks on hehe
and right as he was about to turn the corner you grabbed his arm, just half-yelling “tetsurou!”
gosh you wished you could’ve recorded what happened in the dark
mans yanked his arm from you so fast and with so much force he fell over
like damn no ghost could’ve held onto that 😭🤚🏽
he let out this man yell that bellowed into your hall as you wheezed
upon hearing your giggles his heart rate slowed down, even more so when you turned on the lights
“damn that one moment was worth the whole week!” you laughed, holding onto your stomach
gosh his face looked so done as he bit his lip
“all of those things were you?” you nodded
“baby i think i just lost like five years of my life” he whined, clutching his heart
“gosh you don’t loved me, do you? my heart, kitten, you almost stopped it”
“okay fine it was just that one time,” you say, rolling you eyes, “let’s go back to bed, there’s no ghost”
you pull his arm as you stand up but he just goes limp, the other hand still holding his heart
“you’re gonna have to carry me, my knees are too weak,” he whined
,“tetsu you’re fine,” you replied, trying to tug him to his feet
eventually you do, but he slumps his body weight onto you knowing fully well that you can’t carry his six foot ass
“you should’ve thought of this before scaring your boyfriend like this,” he goes
goodbye it takes you another half an hour to get back to bed with his dramatic ass
263 notes · View notes
shorkbrian · 4 years
Note
Fuck the context and the way you portrayed shinso in your brother fic of him was so hot. Can’t wait for him to become unhinged and not even care what his parents would think/if they’re home and just defile you whenever he wants bc he’s just that desperate
Prelude -  gonna call this mess “FaMiLy BoNdInG” and bruh trust me it’s a mess but I tried so enjoy k gbye
Pairing - Aizawa X Reader X Shinsou
Prompt - at the top and combined with these two!
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Warnings - psuedo-incest, NSFW, non con, dubcon, all the cons. Step dad Aizawa and step bro Shinsou are a force to be reckoned with. Mentions of DP at the end.
Music - I listened to https://open.spotify.com/track/1xFfbxmfenEpn4WawGWXiA?si=OUFp4ANsSR-6V_H187Eblw while writing even though it has NO relation to the fic spsosfnjsdhgsslfdn dead
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You were sitting at the kitchen table, drinking soda and scrolling mindlessly on your phone when your stepbrother had come up behind you, looping his arms over your shoulders as he leaned down.
“Hey girlie, what’re you doing?”
“Nothin’.” You shifted, moving so his mouth was away from your ear, squirming uncomfortably. 
There was a beat of silence, before Shinsou stood, his presence looming behind you like a harbinger of evil. “Come up to my room? I’m tired, wanna hold you.” You sighed, hunching your shoulders and curling in upon yourself. You knew it wasn’t a question, wasn’t a request that you could ignore or refuse. He was just giving you the illusion of having a choice. Well,  you did have a choice;  go with your brother willingly, or get dragged, risk him getting angry if you said you were feeling sick, get into a fight with the man that could pin you to the ground without breaking a sweat.
“Shinsou…. “
“C’mon.” He didn’t wait for you to figure out how to beg for him to leave you be, grabbing your arm and hauling you to your feet with ease. You went limp, what else could you do?
The purple-haired man reached under your skirt, a modest, knee-length thing, wrenching your panties down with one hand.  You squeezed your eyes shut when his hand brushed against your hip, when he eyed the panties clutched in his fist.
“Cute.”
Gross. 
Then he was tugging you along, headed towards his room. 
You were so tired.
Mind almost shutting down, you stumbled when the audible clanking of the garage door beginning to open could be heard.
Dad was home.
Wide eyed, you caught Shinsou’s equally-surprised gaze, the man in front of you tightening his grip on your arm. Without another word, his pace was quickened.  Aizawa wasn’t supposed to get home until midnight, was supposed to be working late at the office. 
Shinsou tugged you into his room, slammed the door shut,  pushed you onto the bed. He had a sense of urgency; he was stressed, thrown off by the sudden and unexpected arrival of your father. “Gotta be quiet now, don’t want dad to hear us, right?”
You nodded, dazed, exhausted. Nothing had happened yet and you were already retreating inside your mind, resigning yourself to whatever your older brother was going to do today. He had said he wanted to cuddle, but that usually meant lazy sex while he hugged you, kissing your neck and falling asleep after making the both of you cum.
Without any preamble, the man climbed onto the bed, putting a hand on your shoulder to gently guide you to lay back. Then he was scrabbling at your shirt, pulling it over your head and leaving you in nothing but your bralette and skirt. He kneeled between your legs, pulling your skirt up to mid thigh to give him more room to maneuver.
“Shinsou please don’t, dad’s-“
“Shhhh, just do what I say and you’ll be fine.”
Shinsou spat into his palm, the sound making you cringe as you thumbed at the soft blankets underneath you. He was unbuttoning his pants, shoving at his underwear until he could get his cock free. The man went quicker than usual as he slicked up his length with his spit, very much aware of the presence of someone else in the house. 
At this point, Shinsou really didn’t care.
He had been fucking you for so long, pulling you aside for a quickie when your parents ran to the store, taking his time when they went away for a weekend,  fucked you on the couch when they went out for date-night. Feeling particularly bold today, he barely thought to pause when your father had gotten home. Right now, he wanted to lay down with his little sister, fuck you until you fell asleep, and then cuddle with your pliant body. Dad home or not, he was determined.
Your skirt was pushed even further up your body, the material bunching at your waist so your stepbrother had unfettered access to your bare pussy. Clenching your eyes shut, you turned your head away as you felt Shinsou pull your hips into his lap so he could rub his cock against your folds. He hissed at the sensation, spitting into his hand again before reaching around his cock to smear his saliva onto your puffy slit, too impatient and hurried to properly prep you.
It was odd to see the purple haired man like this; usually he was very laid-back, slow and gathered in his movements. Right now he was rushing, pushing the tip of his cock slowly into your entrance when usually he would still be making you cry on his fingers. The stretch was immediate, almost burning, and your lungs tightened.
A hand reached up to cover your mouth, Shinsou’s thumb massaging your cheek as he hushed you. You grabbed onto his arm, not to pull him away (it would be useless, he was so much stronger than you), but to ground yourself,  able to do nothing but hold onto the man causing you pain.
The sound of dishes clattering down in the kitchen had Shinsou’s hips bucking forward suddenly, filling you up, pressing too far, too soon. He swore lowly, hand tightening around your mouth as you let out a pained noise.
His hips stilled, the hand not at your mouth petting soothingly at your hip in an imitation of comfort. Funny, you thought - you wouldn’t need comfort if your stupid step brother could manage to keep his dick in his pants.
As the seconds passed, both of you aware of Aizawa down in the kitchen, your muscles slowly relaxed. The stretch burned less, felt more manageable. Still, you were entirely unprepared when Shinsou drew his hips back before rutting into you.
You screeched, the sound muffled by his hand but undeniably loud.  Shinsou leaned over you, unwittingly pushing himself deeper as he tried to soothe you with his quiet “Shhh, shhh, it’s okay, you’re okay.”
If you were able, you would scream that you weren’t. You weren’t okay, nothing was okay. Everything about this was wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. The way his hips were twitching into you, the way he kissed your cheeks and thumbed away your tears. The pleasure that was sparking in your core, the fact that it was your stepbrother getting ready to pound you into the mattress.
He was thrusting smoothly now, cock drilling into you a a steady pace. You were getting wet, the slide easier and less painful, pleasure slowly filtering in. When Shinsou plucked at your clit, you squirmed, hips shamefully moving to meet his own. He started increasing the pace, breathing heavily as the two of you rocked together on the bed. Occasionally his bed creaked, the wood rubbing at the joints and squeaking. 
On one hand, you hoped dad didn’t hear. On the other, you wished he would -  that he’d come save you from his son.
You got a mockery of your wish.
“Kids?”  Aizawa was walking up the stairs, the third step that always creaked whenever someone tread on it announcing his ascent.
“Shit.” Shinsou breathed, pulling out of you, manhandling you quickly. He threw back the covers of his bed, shoved you down, settled behind you. He didn’t have to tell you to be good - the taboo, disgustingly wrong nature of what he had been doing was too embarrassing for you to reveal to your stepfather. Accusing his biological son of assaulting you? Raping you? Would dad even believe you? You didn’t want him to see you like this, you couldn’t.
Dad knocked as Shinsou pulled the covers up, covering your state of undress. You knew your bralette straps were still visible, and Shinsou still had his shirt on. It would probably just look like the two of you had been napping, but then again, it would still seem odd. Whenever your parents were home you stayed as far away from your brother as possible - you weren’t one to just go cuddle with him.
The door creaked open, and your dad peered in. You were so embarrassed, half-naked and utterly humiliated underneath the covers. You didn’t know what to feel or what to do, frozen in fear and indecision. 
“Hey dad, need something?” Shinsou rumbled from behind you, voice steady and monotoned.
Light eyes scanned the room, before settling on you and your brother. Aizawa gave you a confused glance, obviously not expecting you to be in here, before his eyes shifted to the man behind you. “Wanted to let you know I’m home. Mom won’t be back until late, do you two have any specific requests for dinner?”
Shinsou shifted closer to you, so close that you could feel his rapidly beating heart through the warm flesh of his chest.
“Nah, we’re fine with whatever.”
Aizawa nodded, giving you one more confused glance. Maybe he could tell something was up? You felt like you couldn’t breathe. As the dark-haired man turned, obviously moving to shut the door and head back down to the kitchen, Shinsou was pushing his cock into you, his heart trying to beat out of his chest against your back.
Before you could stop yourself, you were whimpering.
“Dad….”
Shinsou froze as Aizawa turned back, stepping further into the room. You were quiet, tears budding at the corners of your eyes.  You couldn’t make yourself utter another word, completely unsettled at the situation. What were you supposed to do? You wanted him to save you, but you didn’t know how to ask. Your stepfather was studying you, was waiting for you to say something more. His gaze was flickering between you tearful eyes, your bralette straps visible above the blanket, the position you and Shinsou were in. You could almost see the wheels turning in his head.
All three of you were silent, the moment seeming to stretch on forever. 
You were so tired.
Breaking the stillness, Aizawa took another step into the room, brows slowly drawing down as the realization dawned upon him.
“Shinsou.” HIs voice was low, he rolled his son’s name in his mouth quietly, almost hesitantly. “What the fuck is going on.”
Your brother’s cock was still inside you.
“I was tired. (Y/N)’s cuddling with me, she was telling me about a dog she saw-“ Aizawa snorted, arms crossing as he took another step towards the bed. “Nice try. Don’t lie to me. Tell me what the fuck you’re doing.”
Shinsou was silent behind you, his heart beating loud and fast against your back.  
“(Y/N), what’s going on?” His voice was softer as he asked you, throaty still - but softer.  The tears clouding your vision finally flooded, streaming down your cheeks as you looked up at him. 
“Please… I....” You couldn’t formulate the words, mortification surrounding your body, Shinsou’s hand squeezing bruises into your hip. It was too much. You wished you had never existed,  that none of this had happened.
Unable to get an answer out of either of you, Aizawa strode forward, grabbed the covers, ripped them off the bed and dumped them in a heap.
You sobbed.
Both men were silent as you cried fat tears, embarrassed at being revealed, gratification at dad finally discovering the awfulness you had been subjected to these past few months.
Shinsou thrust his hips further into your warmth.
You choked, eyes snapping up to Aizawa. Shinsou was supposed to stop the second the two of were caught. He wasn’t supposed to keep going. Why wasn’t dad saying anything? Telling Shinsou to get off of you, get out of the house? Why wasn’t he calling the police? Why wasn’t he pulling your skirt down, trying to preserve your modesty?
The man was staring at the mess between your legs, Shinsou’s cock sliding in and out of you as you sobbed. Aizawa was breathing a bit heavier, his face, stance, demeanor no longer angry.
Dread filled your bones, settled like hot glue.
“Can you see how wet she is? She’s dripping.” Shinsou prodded, Aizawa frozen in place, mouth dry as he watched. “She’s always so warm inside, feels so nice.“
He was egging Aizawa on, seizing the moment and capturing his dad’s hesitance, manipulating it. You let out a whine as Shinsou’s pace picked up, cock beginning to hammer into your pussy. The purple haired man looped an arm underneath your thigh, hefting it into the air to allow Aizawa a better view.
“Doesn’t she sound so sweet? She tastes just as good, feels even better.” He was breathing heavily now, as he rutted into your warmth. Dropping your thigh, Shinsou reached for your clit, trapping the nub between his fingers and flicking at it. You cried out, your own hips squirming in indecisiveness , unable to choose between puling away or pushing back into the delicious sensation. It didn’t take much more to have you cumming.
Shinsou grunted as your walls squeezed around his cock, giving a few more frantic thrusts before he shot his load deep within your cunt, hips twitching as he worked through his own orgasm
You watched Aizawa sit down on the bed, close to your knees.
“How long?” He sounded strained. Shinsou shrugged, still panting.
Aizawa’s rough hand rested on your knee, his flat eyes closing as he paused. “Get up.”
The command wasn’t directed at you, but at your brother. Somehow, you didn’t think it would end up with your stepdad kicking his son out of the house.
Shinsou seemed to think the same as he pulled out, uncaring to the way you flinched as his cock dragged against your sensitive walls. He was silent as he shuffled to the end of the bed, tucking his dick back into his pants. 
Aizawa grabbed your ankle and in one smooth move, dragged you to him. You squeaked at the sudden movement, eyes wide as you watched Aizawa look you up and down. The front of his slacks were tented.
He pulled you into his lap, your back to his chest, turning so the both of you faced Shinsou who still stood at the foot of the bed.
“Does he make you feel good?” The older man’s stubble was scratchy against your cheek. You didn’t know where this was going, felt so lost and bad and sick.
  “Sometimes…”
It was impossible to lie. You knew if you did, Shinsou would cut in, tell his father how he made you cum everytime. How most of the time, you were screaming in pleasure before he would even take his pants off. 
Looking at the floor, you missed the look between father and son.
“He touch you here?” You gasped as a large hand grasped at your chest through your bralette. Aizawa’s hands were bigger than his son’s, rougher and more confident in their touch.
“Yes.”
“What about-“ tears streamed down your face as the hand slid further, over your tummy, over the fabric of your skit, down to your abused, sensitive cunt. “-Here?”
“Please stop, please.”
Aizawa didn’t answer, let his hand rest over the top of your pussy, feel his son’s cum slowly leaking out. “Shinsou, come here.”
The purple-haired man obeyed, stepping closer, falling to his knees at the edge of the bed when Aizawa motioned for him to do so.
“Clean up your sister.”
You weren’t too surprised. It shouldn’t have been hard to see where Shinsou had learned his nasty little tricks from. Still, it hurt your heart, struggling in your step-dad’s lap as he held you in place. 
Shinsou was smiling, leaning forward to shove his face in-between your thighs, chuckling when you yelped as he tongued over your hole. You used your hands to shove at his head, pull at his hair, but he caught them in his grip. They were pulled down by your sides, where Shinsou held them still.
“No, no! Stop! You can’t, no—dad!!” You were sobbing, pleading as Shinsou continued his assault on your cunt, licking out his own cum from your insides. Aizawa was holding your legs, keeping you spread-eagled and open.
“I’m not a good guy (Y/N), neither of us are.” His hardness was rubbing up against your back as you squirmed. “And from now on, you call me daddy.” “No! I won’t, let me go!” You thrashed, putting all your energy into loosing the iron grip holding your legs. Shinsou pulled back, licking his lips as he glanced up at his father.
“She was like this when I first had her. Mouthy little thing, still hasn’t learned proper manners.” He didn’t wait for Aizawa to respond, leaning back forward to continue slurping at your swollen lips.
“That’s alright, she’ll learn… I am a teacher after all.”
You wanted to vomit. You went limp, sobbing raggedly in Aizawa’s arms - completely demoralized and humiliated. There was no use fighting when Shinsou had been hurting you.  Now with two fully grown men focused on you? Forget about it.
Aizawa was quiet as Shinsou worked you up to an orgasm, the only sound besides your crying the wet, squishy lapping of Shinsou’s tongue suckling at your pussy. When he switched his focus to your clit, you wheezed, jolting in place as his tongue started laving over the little bud rapidly, quickly throwing you higher and higher and-
You wailed through your second orgasm, almost unable to breathe. 
Moments passed before you were able to calm yourself, ugly-crying and begging the two men to please, please leave you alone. Please leave, don’t touch you.
If you weren’t numb from your orgasm, you would feel sick.
“Shinsou, where’s your lube?”
Purple hair bounced as your brother cocked his head, still kneeling between your legs. “She doesn’t need lube, she’s soaking wet.”
“She’s gonna need it if we’re both going to fit.”
Neither man seemed to be able to hear your panicked pleas, too excited about prepping you to take both of them together.
What an awful attempt at family bonding.
3K notes · View notes
soobmint · 3 years
Text
paper hearts | choi soobin [f] ; [c] 80s! au, 9.6k words
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s u m m a r y ; if there was one thing you wanted to avoid on valentine’s day, it was running into your ex best friend, choi soobin. but when a series of unfortunate events involving too much purple eyeshadow, drunken punches, and one stolen bicycle leads you right back to his side, you begin to realize that maybe you truly belonged with him all along.
c o n t e n t s ; soobin x fem!reader, 80s! au, valentine’s day, ex best friend! soobin, rich boy! soobin, but he’s a major dweeb and the biggest softie, yeonjun is a major prick (i’m so sorry junnie), reader is a part time worker, soobin is best friends with lee felix of stray kids, some themes of social classes, roughly inspired by the 80s movie “pretty in pink,” mentions drugs, alcohol, and single parent households, mostly just fluff, fluff, and more fluff, with a hint of crack/humor
n o t e ; hello friends! this was a very quickly planned, last minute valentine’s day idea, and it’s actually a collab with one of my dearest friends, @chanluster ! she posted her piece of the collab as well, you can check it out by going to the collab masterlist here! this was so much fun to write and i think that 80s! soobin was just too good of a concept to pass up! anyways, happy valentine’s day, i hope you enjoy this oneshot! do leave a like, reblog, or comment if you could, it really helps so much <3
[back to my masterlist] [oneshot playlist]
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IF ONE MORE CUT-OUT, CRAFT-PAPER HEART HIT YOU IN THE FACE, YOU WERE GOING TO QUIT YOUR JOB.
Of course you would never actually quit. With your mother out of the picture and your father working nonstop overtime just to barely have enough cash to put food on the table for the both of you, you had come to rely on your minimum wage part-time hours more than you liked to admit. However, the handmade strings of paper hearts that hung from wall to wall throughout the entirety of the record shop you were employed at was enough to make you consider it; not to mention the Phil Collins record that had been spinning all day, filling your ears with melodies embodying the very air of romance, and the embarrassing pink sweater your boss had forced you to wear. You mumbled curses beneath your breath as you pulled at the collar, itching away at your neck.
When you made a step towards a crate full of records, ready to tidy it up after a customer had rummaged through it leaving it a mess, you were met with another face full of cheap red construction paper. With a large growl of exasperation, you swatted at the hearts and accidentally caused the entire string of them to fall to the ground. You cleared your throat, glad that no customers were present to see your little outburst.
Your boss, Jen, still saw it all.
“That’s not very festive of you, kid,” She said, taking a drag on her cigarette. “It’s Valentine’s Day! Lighten up.”
“Ah, my bad. I forgot that I was supposed to be overjoyed on the day honoring the execution of St. Valentine,” You said as you gave her a sarcastic smile. “I’ll make sure to smile at the next couple that walks in and ask them how they plan to contribute to the commercialization of a martyr’s death.”
“You must be real fun at parties,” Jen mumbled. She shook her cigarette at you from behind the counter. “You’re just bitter because you don’t have a valentine. I can’t blame anyone for giving you the cold shoulder with that attitude of yours.”
You scowled, picking up the string of hearts that you had sent crashing to the floor. “I’m not bitter, and I don’t want a date. Also, I told you to stop smoking inside! It smells awful.”
“Last I checked, this was my shop, not yours.” You rolled your eyes as you approached the counter, handing the discarded string to Jen so she could throw it in the trash. “Now you’re making me do chores for you too? You’ve got some nerve, I’ll give you that.”
“Jen, please, I’m really not in the mood for this today.”
Jen shrugged, bending towards the trash can to throw away the string of hearts when she paused and pulled something from the bin. You glanced over your shoulder and gasped when you saw what she held in her hand—a small red envelope with your name scrawled across the front and a pink heart-shaped sticker stuck on the back.
“What’s this?” Jen asked, opening the envelope and shaking out the contents. A single slip of paper fell out, landing atop the counter. You rushed to grab it, but Jen snatched it up just before your fingers reached the countertop.
“Give me that,” You insisted, face growing warm. “I threw it away for a reason!”
“It’s an invitation to a party?” She seemed beyond surprised, glancing back and forth between you and the paper several times. “You got invited to a Valentine’s Day party, and instead of going, you asked me to give you extra hours? Why?”
You looked down at your feet, digging the toe of your sneaker into the blue carpet. There were, in fact, many reasons why you did not want to go to that party. They were as follows:
One: Choi Yeonjun was the one who had invited you. After you had rejected his offer when he asked to take you to a basketball game a month before, you could barely make eye contact with him in the school hallway without feeling guilty. That and the fact that he was one of the richest preps in the school, you knew he had just been asking you out for some sort of prank or dare that you preferred to not potentially fall victim to.
Two: you needed to work as much as you could. Money, as always, was tight for you and your father. There was no way you would sacrifice precious hours to go to a party full of rich kids where nothing but humiliation was sure to await you.
Three: your old childhood friend and the one person you couldn’t bear to see was probably going to be there—Choi Soobin.
You had barely spoken to Soobin in the four years you had been in high school. Crossing paths with him in the cafeteria, turning down the same aisle of books as him in the library, all those tiny stolen glances and accidental encounters were the only bits of interaction you had kept throughout all that time. The worst part was, he hadn’t done anything wrong.
It was nothing but your own cowardice that had driven the two of you apart, and you were still too afraid to own up to it.
Instead of explaining all of this to Jen, you simply shrugged and said, “I dunno. It just sounds lame.”
Your boss sighed, holding the invitation out towards you. “Okay, I’m letting you off early. Go to the party.”
With wide eyes, you shook your head immediately. “Absolutely not. Why in the world would I go?”
“Well, first of all, it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity for you. Who knows when your next chance to go to a party will be.”
You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at that.
“Second, it’s a holiday! The only reason I even opened today was because you were begging me for hours. I thought it was because you were bummed about having no plans, but clearly it’s because you wanted an excuse to be a recluse.”
“Hey, I’m not a recluse.”
“Clearly.” She shook the invitation at you once more, brows raised. “If you go, I’ll raise your pay by fifty cents for the next month.”
Your ears perked up at that.
“Well?” She asked, well aware that she had hit the jackpot. “What'd ya say?”
Weighing the risks against the benefits, you bit the inside of your cheek.
“Make it a dollar and you’ve got a deal.” 
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“HAPPY VALENTINE’S, CHOI.”
When Soobin heard the sarcastic remark coming from his best friend, Felix, he had to fight back the urge to burst into tears then and there. He still wasn’t quite sure how Felix had convinced him to come, but he was already regretting it. The last thing he wanted to do to celebrate the day dedicated to love was spend it at a house party—or, as Soobin preferred to call them, any outcast high school kid’s version of hell on earth.
With a quick peek between his fingers, which he had used to cover his eyes immediately upon arriving at the site of the Valentine’s party, Soobin caught another eye-full of couples getting all too familiar with one another out in the open. He gulped, letting his hands grip the handles of the bike as he averted his gaze, choosing to cast his best glare at Felix, who was busy adjusting his ever-present beanie.
“Shut up,” he murmured, slowly sliding off the seat of his bike. He dusted off the worn, tearing cushion, glancing around the area. “Now quick, we gotta put our stuff somewhere safe.”
Felix looked aghast, making no moves to help Soobin in his search for a hiding spot. “What are you doing?”
“Tryna find a safe place for my bike?” He thought the answer to be somewhat obvious, but clearly Felix wasn’t on the same track of thinking. “You don’t know today’s world! Anyone is willing to steal nowadays.”
“Soobin, your bike is coughing up oil from its chains. It should be in its own care home at this rate.”
“I don’t wanna hear your slander, skater boy,” Soobin retorted, eyeing Felix’s ebony skateboard that he refused to be seen without. As if on cue, when he pushed his bike forward, the chains squealed, drawing the attention of a pair of particularly passionate individuals who had been wrapped up with one another moments before. Soobin ignored their annoyed stares, feeling his ears burn from embarrassment. He glanced back to Felix. “Help me find a hiding spot.”
Felix was anything but enthusiastic, but he began to help Soobin search nonetheless.
“Slide it in here, Soobs,” Felix called a few moments later. He was pointed to an empty space between the home’s perfectly trimmed bushes. Soobin pursed his lips together, pushing his large glasses further up the bridge of his nose—a nervous tick of his. Felix groaned, rolling his eyes. “Or you can leave it out in the open so it’ll spit more oil on the passersby? Is that what you want?”
“Fine, fine!” Soobin huffed, wheeling his bike over to the shrubbery, chains squeaking all the way. He carefully laid it beneath the brush and moved a few branches to cover it up nicely. He stood up straight, dusting his hands on the front of his loose blue jeans. “What about your skateboard?”
Felix gave the board a pat, awarding his most prized possession a dazzling smile one would expect to see a proud father giving his beloved son. But in reality, it was the school’s stoner grinning ear to ear at his old, dusty skateboard. “Nightrider stays with me.”
Soobin scrunched his nose, cringing on instinct. He still calls that thing by that stupid name?
Felix clapped him on the shoulder before he could make a remark, catching him off guard when he said, “Right. Let’s go and get your girl.”
There was nothing Soobin could do to stop the flush that rushed to his cheeks right away. Images of you, his ex-best friend and the only reason he had even come to this party in the first place, flashed through his mind. Had he not overheard Yeonjun invite you earlier that morning and then casually mention the encounter to Felix, there was no way he would have even stepped foot out of his house that night. Part of him was peeved, wishing he had never uttered a single word about you to his overbearing friend. Yet, deep down, there was hope within him—the tiniest sliver.
If there was even the slightest chance that he could talk to you that night, he would do anything. Even if it meant dealing with a stupid party, and the never-ceasing teasing he was bound to continue receiving from Felix.
“Don’t even say that,” He said, emphasizing each word as they walked up the front steps. Soobin had to glance down at his much shorter friend to see the devious grin on his freckled face.
“Say what? That she’s your girl, your woman, your one and only?”
The blush must have been creeping to his neck by that point. He could feel it. “I. . .” There were many things Soobin wished to say; angry words that would hopefully shut the blonde skater boy up real quick. But he couldn’t bring himself to say a single harsh word, so he sighed in defeat. “I can’t even say it.”
“That you hate me?” Felix only grinned even bigger, and Soobin couldn’t help the tiny defeated smile that slipped over his features. “Oh, I know. It’s because I’m too good of a best friend.”
They stepped into the house then, instantly being overwhelmed by loud music, boisterous laughter, and drunken yells echoing throughout the halls. Soobin latched onto Felix right away, gripping his friend’s sleeve as someone stumbled into him, a bit of beer spilling from their cup. He pushed his glasses up, only for them to slide right back down as he began to sweat.
“Maybe we should go home, Lix!” Soobin shouted to be heard over the noise as they travelled further into the house. “We can always try next year!”
“Stop being a scaredy-cat!” Felix shouted back, and Soobin thought he might actually begin to cry as they squeezed their way into the living room. Soobin nearly gagged at the strong smell of alcohol as it burned in his nose. The scene was nothing short of a nightmare to Soobin—loud voices, smoke rising in the air, vodka assaulting his nose and sweat beading on the back of his neck. He had never been one to drink, and he didn’t plan on starting that night; but he was beginning to understand what Felix meant when he had once told him it was nearly impossible to get through one of these parties sober.
He was about to make another complaint and beg to leave when someone from the crowd hollered his name, causing him to wince when he recognized that voice as the one that belonged to none other than Choi Yeonjun.
“Soobin! Where you been?”
Soobin smiled nervously at the school’s heartthrob—and textbook snobby rich kid—before he turned back to Felix. He didn’t want to leave his friend, but he knew that he would never hear the end of it if he ignored Yeonjun’s persistent calls. “I’ll be right back,” He promised Felix, still holding onto his sleeve.
“No, no,” Felix assured. “You go. You’ll probably find her around that place anyway.”
Soobin wasn’t so sure of that. You were definitely not of the right social standing to be caught amongst the circle of the school’s rich boys—which was why it had surprised Soobin that Yeonjun had invited you to the party in the first place. Your high school had its own caste system, and you were near the bottom of it.
And, as much as it pained him to admit it, Soobin was stuck at the very top with all the other rich snobs who cared about nothing more than their daily allowances that came straight from their daddy’s bank account.
“What about you, buddy?” He asked Felix, desperate for any excuse to remain by his friend’s side. He would have tried to bring Felix with him, but his friend was in an even worse social standing than you were—he was poor, and he was most known for being the school’s pothead. There was no way Soobin would willingly drag him into a situation where nothing but slander and torment awaited him.
“Me?” Felix shrugged, gripping his board tighter. “I’ll just smoke away the night.”
Soobin pouted, glancing back at the group of preps as they called for him once again. He sighed, clapping Felix on the shoulder. “Just make sure you won’t smell too much of it when I come back.”
Submitting himself to his doom then, he turned on his heel and slowly made his way to where the group of  boys sat near the sofa, giving them a half-hearted wave.
“Why were you hanging around that Felix guy?” Yeonjun asked once Soobin had reached their circle. “Did he blackmail you or something?”
Soobin frowned, pushing his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “He’s my friend.”
Yeonjun rolled his eyes, brushing a hand through his perfectly-straightened ebony locks. “Sure he is. Tell me, do you see every kid you find on the streets as some sort of personal charity project? Or is it just Felix and—what was her name—” He snapped his fingers then before he said, “Y/N, right?”
Soobin didn’t respond—well, it was more like he couldn’t respond. By nature he was a very passive being, but nothing drew him closer to bouts of anger than when the people he cared about were being insulted right before him.
Especially when it came to you.
Yet, as much as he wanted to tell Yeonjun off or give him a nice shove into the smoke-stained walls, words failed him. They always did. Perhaps this was why you had abandoned him all those years ago. Nobody knew him better than you did, so of course you were able to see what he truly was beneath all the expensive clothes and nervous laughter—a coward.
He figured that he’d probably have left himself too.
“Drink up, buttercup.” The chipper voice that belonged to the other Choi in the small gathering of socialites, Choi Beomgyu, thrust a plastic red cup towards Soobin’s chest. 
He shook his head, throwing another wavering smile in his direction. “No thanks. I don’t drink.”
Yeonjun rolled his eyes. “Of course you don’t. Why are you even here then?”
Once again, Soobin chose silence as his only response. He swallowed, patting the front pocket of his denim jacket. As the group of boys began conversing once more, he couldn’t help but let his eyes wander around the room, searching every drunken face for the features that belonged to you, trying to hear your name in every conversation, desperate for your voice to break through the blasting music and shouting voices.
“Who ya looking for there, Big Choi?” Soobin grimaced at the nickname. He was skinny, but incredibly tall, and nobody would let him forget that. “Big Choi” was one of his most common nicknames among the elitists. He despised it, but of course, he would never voice that aloud.
He glanced at Beomgyu and smiled nervously again, shaking his head. “Nobody.”
His eyes met Yeonjun’s and he gulped yet again as the latter eyed him with suspicion. It wasn’t as though he had anything to hide, but something about Yeonjun’s calculating gaze made his skin crawl.
He needed to escape. Just for a moment, at least.
“I’ll be right back. Going to find some water.”
He slipped out of the living room then, apologizing profusely to each couple he accidentally bumped into, bowing in remorse to each person’s toes his big feet happened to stumble over. He ached to be by Felix’s side—the stoned skateboarder had become somewhat of a security blanket to the taller of the duo—but his blonde friend was nowhere to be seen.
After snagging a bottle of water from the kitchen, Soobin managed to slip into an empty bathroom. He slammed the door shut and wasted no time in locking it. Letting out the biggest sigh of relief, he closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the door, taking a big gulp of the ice cold water.
He set the bottle on the counter and carefully reached into the front pocket of his jacket, his fingers finding the piece of paper he had been storing there all evening. He pulled it out and let his eyes wander over his middle school creation. It was a big heart, cut out from a scrap piece of red construction paper. Scrawled across it in his eight-grade handwriting were the words, Be mine this Valentine’s! His name was etched at the bottom, and at the very top, delicately printed in hot pink glitter glue, your name was written as well.
He had planned to give this to you four years ago on Valentine’s day. Everything had been planned out perfectly; he was to pick you up on his old, trusty bike. It wasn’t really made for two people, but the two of you had fashioned a makeshift extra seat for you to sit upon whenever you went places together. 
He wanted to take you to the Dairy Shack, which was the local ice cream shop where the two of you spent the most time together. You always got a large chocolate shake to share, playing a quick game of rock, paper, scissors to decide who got to eat the cherry on top. He was going to order a shake and specially ask for two cherries that time, and planned to give both of them to you before he would bravely present you with the handmade card he had spent all day working on.
However, when he waited for you outside your house that day, the red dusk turned to pitch black night, and you never stepped foot out your door.
He had even gone up to your door a few times and knocked, but there was no answer. Eventually he pedalled off into the night, back to his house. He was disappointed, of course, but more worried than anything else. He had hoped you weren’t sick.
But when he saw you at school the next day, he knew that hadn’t been the case.
And when you ignored him calling your name as you passed by him in the hallways, he knew that something had drastically changed.
For weeks, Soobin was in great turmoil as he replayed your last few encounters together before you had stood him up. Perhaps you were angry that he had won the last few games of rock, paper, scissors? If he had known, he would have given you all the cherries for the rest of time if it meant you would still talk to him. He didn’t care about them—he cared about you.
He missed you.
And as weeks turned to months, and months turned to years, you still barely spoke to him, and he missed you more and more. The best friend he had wanted to take a step closer to had taken a thousand steps back from him, and he still had no idea why.
But that night, he was determined to find out.
Well, if he could muster up the courage to get a single word out, of course.
He folded the heart back up and stuck it back in his pocket, taking a deep breath as he observed himself in the fogged-up mirror. He fixed his bright blue hair that Felix had helped him bleach and dye, making sure the pieces fell over the corners of his eyes just right. He straightened his white turtleneck and cuffed the sleeves of his denim jacket until he was at least somewhat content with his appearance.
“You can do this, Soobs,” He told himself, adjusting his big round glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “That’s what Felix would say.”
“Hey, rich boy!” A loud scream came from outside the bathroom door, accompanied by harsh knocking that sent Soobin stumbling backwards until he fell in the shower, pulling the curtains down with him.
“Hurry up in there! I’m about to piss myself!”
Soobin let out a shaky sigh, scrambling to his feet as he rushed to fix the curtain he had torn down with his clumsiness. “Sorry,” he mumbled, though he doubted the person on the other side of the door could hear him.
He realized then with an ever growing dread that it would be a miracle if he survived the night long enough to even find you, but it would take the work of God himself for him to actually speak to you.
He figured it was time for him to start praying.
YOU KNEW IT WAS A MISTAKE TO LET JEN DO YOUR MAKEUP.
When she had stopped you on your way out the door with a compact of bright purple eyeshadow, you had turned her down right away. No way in all of creation were you walking in a party with such an atrocious color caked up to your brow bone.
“How can you say it’s gonna look bad if you haven’t even let me try?” Jen had asked.
You had given her a once-over, your lips pressed into a thin line. “If it’s gonna look anything like the way you do your own makeup, I’m gonna have to pass.”
After that snide remark, she had threatened to fire you if you didn’t let her apply the makeup. And so you obliged, though you didn’t have much of a choice.
The booming sounds of the party hit your ears before you had even reached the lawn. Screaming teens—well, there were probably some adults thrown in there as well—and the sound of music spilled through the open windows of the home. Couples and singles alike were scattered throughout the perfectly kept lawn that was now littered with empty cups and other assortments of garbage.
You looked down at your patchwork jeans and pink sweater, certain that you would be underdressed compared to the rest of the partygoers. But from the looks of things, as you carefully squeezed your way through the front door and into the home, everyone was probably too wasted to even notice your arrival, let alone care about your looks.
You caught a glimpse of your face in the hallway mirror, cringing at the sight of your eyeshadow. You had tried to wipe some of it away before arriving, but it simply smudged, giving you quite the shocking smoky, purple eye look. For someone who didn’t even know the difference between a paintbrush and a makeup brush, it was a bold look, to say the least.
If Soobin saw you looking like this, he’d probably have a heart attack.
Soobin.
In the midst of all your frantic preparation, you had nearly forgotten about the main reason why you had planned to avoid this party at all costs. With a quick glance around the room, you realized that he was nowhere to be seen. You wouldn’t have been surprised if he hadn’t shown up at all. He was never a fan of parties, anyway.
You crossed your arms over your chest and slowly slipped past the couples crowding the hallway with their limbs intertwined, mouths practically swallowing one another whole, until you reached the living room. Surprisingly, it was less crowded in here than you thought it might be. A few minglers were scattered about the room’s perimeter, but they all kept away from the center of the room, which was occupied by none other than Choi Yeonjun and all his brainless, rich-boy worshippers. You quickly scanned the group, not able to make out Soobin among them. When you realized he wasn’t there, you were partly relieved and partly disappointed. If was to be anywhere at this party, it would probably be with these guys.
With a quick turn on your heel, you planned to make your way out of the living room before Yeonjun could see you. The last thing you wanted was for the boy with a bruised ego to see you, regardless of whether or not he had been the one to invite you.
“Y/N? You came?”
Too late.
Plastering a forced grin to your face, you slowly turned to face Yeonjun, who had just called your name. He was eyeing you with slight surprise, but soon, a smirk slipped across his lips as he motioned for you to come over. You had to hold back your sigh, wishing there was some way for you to get out of this situation. It was all Jen’s fault that you had to show up in the first place. You decided you were going to demand an extra ten cents be added to your raise the next time you saw your pushy boss.
“Hey Yeonjun,” you said once you had walked over to him. “I figured I’d stop by for a minute or two, since you were kind enough to invite me.”
He smirked, glancing at a few of his friends. They shared a knowing laugh with one another, but the meaning of it was lost to you. You wanted nothing more than to get away from them, but that wasn’t an option.
“You’re too busy to go out with me to a basketball game but free enough to come to a party, huh?” He asked.
You blinked, digging your nails into your arms. “I’m sorry?”
“It’s fine, really,” He drawled, swirling his plastic cup of beer in his hand. “You didn’t think I’d be upset or anything did you? I only asked you out because I was dared to shack up with you. But I’m guessing you already knew that, since you’re so smart and all.”
Your eyes went wide, but you managed to control the rest of your expression. It was just like you had guessed—Yeonjun had invited you to the party with the sole purpose of making a scene.
If you survived the night, Jen was never going to hear the end of it.
“You’re not gonna say anything?” He asked, pushing himself to his feet. You could tell by the slight stumble in his step and his hooded eyes that he had quite a bit to drink. He took a step towards you, causing you to back up immediately. Your back hit the wall, and you placed your palms against it as Yeonjun towered over you. 
“It’s okay, sweetheart. I know why you’re here anyways.” He leaned forward, his lips hovering near your ear. “You’re here to see Soobin, aren’t you? Since he’s the only one here willing to waste his time on filth like you.”
Your blood boiled, and you had to clench your fists at your sides to control your anger.
“Don’t,” You seethed, “Call me that.”
“Call you what? Filth? Or sweetheart? Why, is that something good old Binnie used to call you—”
He never got to finish that sentence, because with one big burst of anger, you stomped on his toe as hard as you could with your worn-out platform sneaker.
“What the hell!” He screeched, drawing the attention of several others in the room. His outburst even caused a few of the couples to pull away from each other’s faces long enough to eavesdrop.
Before you could even say anything back, lukewarm liquid was splashed up in your face, burning your eyes and nose. You gasped, running your hands over your eyes to see Yeonjun with his now empty cup of beer pointed towards you.
“Think twice before you act out against me next time, sweetheart. Never forget your place.”
Tears of anger burned in your eyes, and you scanned the room to see several people exchanging whispers and giggles as they glanced in your direction. You pushed past Yeonjun and quickly made your way out the back door of the house, unable to stand the humiliation for a moment longer.
Soobin arrived in the living room just in time to see you leave.
He wasted no time in rushing towards Yeonjun, grabbing hold of his arm. “Yeonjun, was that Y/N?” He asked, eyes quickly taking in the puddle of alcohol on the floor and the empty cup in Yeonjun’s hand. “What happened?”
“Nothing you need to worry your pretty blue head about, Big Choi. I just put her in her place is all.”
Soobin’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean you ‘put her in her place?’”
Yeonjun laughed, giving Soobin a nonchalant pat on the back. “Just drop it, would you? It has nothing to do with you.”
“What did you say, Yeonjun?”
Yeonjun was growing irritated now. He huffed out a breath, crossing his arms over his chest. “I said it has nothing to do with you, Soobin. I know you like to hang around people like that pothead Felix, but the rest of us live in the real world, where we’d rather not waste our time with those who have no future anyways. I bet he’s the one that got you to dye your hair that god awful blue, isn’t he?”
Soobin bit the inside of his cheek. He so badly wished to rip Yeonjun to shreds then and there. If he had Felix’s courage, the cocky bastard would have been knocked to the ground ages ago. But if there was one thing Soobin was sure he could never be, it was brave. And so, despite his rage, he remained silent, his eyes practically burning a hole through Yeonjun’s chest from how intently he was glaring.
It seemed as though Yeonjun was about to say something, but his eyes landed on the bit of red that peeked through the front pocket of Soobin’s denim jacket. Before Soobin had time to defend himself, Yeonjun had reached forward and snatched it from his pocket, revealing the large paper heart—his valentine for you.
“So this is why you care so much,” Yeonjun said, laughing as his eyes scanned the glittery words that decorated the page. “You want her to be your valentine.”
“Give that back,” Soobin said quietly, his hands beginning to shake.
Yeonjun instead lifted his eyes to Soobin, gave him a sickly sweet grin, and ripped the heart straight down the middle. He let the two pieces fall from his hands to the ground, and with them Soobin’s heart went also.
“You’re really willing to try and go against me, and for what? For the sake of a girl who can’t even afford a new pair of jeans and a boy that smokes his life away in the bathroom stalls?” Yeonjun took a slow step towards Soobin, his eyes glinting with a sinister determination. “You may be rich, Soobin, but if you choose to lower yourself to their standards, you may as well be dirt poor just like they are.”
With his hands clenched into tight fists, his glasses sliding down his nose, and his heart quite literally in two pieces on the floor below him, Soobin decided that he had had enough.
“I’d much rather be associated with people who are kind and have actual depth to their character than be lumped together with a bunch of pricks like you with no real personality—because that’s something you can’t buy with daddy’s paycheck.”
He had to physically restrain himself from slapping his hand across his own mouth in shock. It was as if the spirit of Felix himself had possessed him to say such harsh things. He wondered where Felix was then, wishing more than ever before to have his best friend by his side as he began to tremble from either the rush of adrenaline that coursed through his veins, or from fear. Or perhaps it was both.
He didn’t have time to ponder it any longer before Yeonjun’s fist collided with his nose, resulting in a sickening crack as pain echoed throughout his face in tidal waves.
He stumbled backward as people began to shout, raising his hand to his nose and gasping when he saw that his palm was covered in blood. 
Beomgyu had his arms wrapped around Yeonjun, who was desperately trying to lunge towards Soobin once again.
“Knock it off, Yeonjun!” Beomgyu shouted, pushing the elder back. “His dad is on the school board! Are you trying to get expelled?”
Beomgyu looked over his shoulder at the still stunned Soobin, who was gaping at the blood that now stained his once white turtleneck. 
“Get lost, Soobin,” Beomgyu said, to which Soobin only blinked in reply, his ears ringing.
“Now!”
Head spinning, Soobin picked up the two halves of his paper heart, stuffed them into his jeans, and stumbled out the same door he had seen you go through just minutes before. After checking to make sure his glasses were still intact—they were, thankfully—he shook his head in an effort to clear his mind of the static, eyes scanning the front lawn looking for any trace of you.
It didn’t take long for his eyes to spot you among the now dwindling crowd of partygoers. Your bright pink sweater stood out against the darkness, so he was able to recognize you even with your back towards him. He sniffed, wiping the back of his hand against his dripping nose as he slowly made his way to where you sat on the curb, your feet planted on the asphalt street. He wished that he looked a bit more presentable—when he played this scene out in his head over the years in which he would finally reunite with you, he never imagined himself dazed and covered in blood.
Desperate times called for desperate measures, he supposed.
When he reached you, he simply stood beside you in silence for a moment, unsure of what to say. He could tell that you sensed his presence, but you refused to look up at him as you kept your face buried in your hands. He could have sworn he heard a few muffled sobs slip through your fingers, but of course, he wasn’t going to bring that up.
Eventually he decided to slip his jacket off of his shoulders, leaning down to drape it over you. You still kept your head down as he sat beside you on the curb, but he watched you grip the jacket and pull it tighter around your body. He smiled a bit, holding the collar of his turtleneck against his throbbing nose.
“Thank you,” you muttered, wiping your hand across your eyes. You finally looked over at him, and when you did, you couldn’t hold back your gasp. “My God Soobin, what happened to your face?”
“Oh, well, I might have gotten punched,” He said quickly, trying to wave off your concern. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Punched? By who?”
He looked down at the ground, sniffing as a drop of blood hit the pavement. “Yeonjun,” he muttered under his breath.
“I’m sorry, did you just say Yeonjun? Are you insane? Why on earth would you butt heads with the Choi Yeonjun?”
Soobin didn’t say anything in response, he simply stared at you, eyes wide with beer dripping off the ends of your hair, makeup smeared across your face, your sweater stained down the front. It didn’t seem to take long for you to put the pieces together, as the shock left your face and was replaced with something akin to guilt.
“Oh,” You said, looking back down at your shoes.
“So she knows that I did it all for her,” Soobin thought.
For some reason, the idea of that both terrified and excited him.
A second later, he glanced over to see you ripping one of the hand-sewed patches of fabric off your jeans, leaving a square of your skin exposed to the chilly night air. You leaned towards him, pushing his hand away from his nose so you could use the patch to clean up some of the blood on and around his puffy red nose.
“Y/N, your pants!” He exclaimed, trying to push your hand away. “They’re ruined!”
“I’m not worried about my pants, you idiot,” You said, swatting his hand away as you continued to press the cloth against his skin. “You got punched in the face because of me, this is the least I could do.”
“That was my choice though,” He muttered, although he stopped trying to resist your touch. He ignored the way his heart thrummed harder in his chest, hoping that you couldn’t hear.
“Well, this is my choice too.” Your eyes flicked to his for a brief moment, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth. “Why did you do it, by the way?”
“Do what?”
“Stand up to Yeonjun for me and get a nasty nosebleed as a result.”
“Oh.” He blinked slowly, keeping his eyes fixed on yours. “Just ‘cause.”
“Because . . . ?”
“Because of you.” He blurted, causing your hand to go still against him. He swallowed his fear, braving the best smile that he could. “Just you. That was my only reason.”
You didn’t say anything as your hand fell from his face, the cloth clutched between your fingers. The anxiety he had tried his best to suppress came rushing up all at once, and he was surprised that his ears didn’t begin to squeal like a tea kettle from all the pressure. 
“Y/N,” He said, gently placing his hand over yours despite how his fingers trembled. “Why did you pull away from me?”
“What?”
“Four years ago. Why did you stop talking to me?”
You were quiet for a moment, digging into the ground with the toe of your sneaker. Soobin held his breath until you finally replied with, “I was afraid.”
“Afraid? Of what?”
“We were getting older, Binnie,” You said, and his heart skipped at the use of your old nickname for him. “You and I, we’re from very different walks of life. You get to hang out with people like Yeonjun, whereas I get a cup of beer poured all over my face just for existing, and you get a fist to the nose for trying to stand up for me. We’re from different sides of the track, one might say.”
“So?” Soobin asked, his hand tightening around yours. “Did you really think that would affect us that much, Y/N?”
You frowned, glancing down at his hand over yours.
“I thought you’d be embarrassed of me,” You said, your voice barely above a whisper.
“Embarrassed?” Soobin’s eyes went wide as he gripped your hand tighter still, pulling it into his lap. “Y/N, I would never, ever be embarrassed of you. Besides, have you seen my best friend? He’s on a first name basis with the principal because of how often he gets written up for smoking behind the school. If I’m not embarrassed of him, why would I ever be embarrassed of you?”
You laughed, wiping the back of your hand across your eyes once more. “I guess I was worried about nothing, huh?” You sniffed, giving his hand a squeeze. “I’m sorry, Soobin.”
He shook his head, squeezing your hand right back. “Don’t apologize. You’re here now, that’s what matters. Do think we could—you know—”
“Pick up where we left off?” You smiled, nodding vigorously. “I’d like that very much, Binnie.”
He beamed then, almost pinching himself to be sure that he was not dreaming, but the pain in his nose was real enough to remind him of that on its own. He jumped to his feet, pulling you right up with him.
“In that case, how about we finally go on that Valentine’s date I had planned all the way back then?”
“Date?” You asked, a brow raised. “Is it really considered a date if two friends are just hanging out?”
He didn’t respond as he pulled you along behind him towards the bushes where he and Felix had hidden his bike. He crouched down and moved the branches aside, feeling his heart drop to his stomach when he realized that his bike was, in fact, no longer there.
He shot up, turning to face you with eyes wide. “Felix—that bastard took my bike!”
You were quiet for a moment, but then, you burst into boisterous laughter, leaving Soobin utterly confused.
“It’s not funny, Y/N!” He whined, shoving your shoulder lightly. “I was supposed to take you to the Dairy Shack on my bike!”
“It is funny,” You said between bursts of laughter. “Only you would get such a rusty old piece of metal stolen from you.”
He pushed his lips out in a pout, sliding his glasses up his sore nose. “It’s a good bike, don’t make fun of it.”
You grinned, interlocking his fingers with yours, which was enough to instantly wipe the pout right off his face. 
“Let’s just walk, Binnie. The Dairy Shack isn’t that far anyways.”
You were right; the walk to your favorite milkshake place was very close to the house where the party had occurred. Although Felix stealing his bike had thrown an obvious wrench in his plans, it was a minor hiccup, and one he could most definitely handle. Besides, he wouldn’t have to see Felix until the next day anyways. He could deal with his frustration then.
At least, that’s what he thought anyways, until the two of you spotted Felix at the skatepark on your way to the dairy shack.
Soobin’s eyes took in the deplorable sight before him—from where he stood on the dimly lit sidewalk, he could see Felix and a girl he had never seen before, their faces nearly pressed together, and most importantly, with his bike discarded a few yards away from them.
“Soobin,” You said, tugging on his arm. “They look like they’re busy, let’s just go—”
But Soobin, who had little patience when it came to Felix messing up his plans, didn’t let you finish before he screamed, “Give me back my freaking bike!”
You had to hold back your snort of laughter at his choice of words. Even when he was trying to sound angry, he was undeniably adorable.
Soobin watched as Felix startled, clutching his spliff between his fingers as he glared daggers back at his friend. Soobin gulped, trying not to let his fear show on his face. What did he have to be afraid of, anyways? He was the victim of thievery, and his best friend was the offender.
Felix took a big step towards him, but he paused, his eyes landing on your interlocked hands. Soobin glanced down as well, his face growing furiously warm as he realized the situation he had gotten himself into. 
He decided to divert the subject before it could even be brought up by saying, “I can’t believe you stole my bike! All this time I was trying to hide it from strangers, but you, my best friend! I should’ve been hiding it from you!”
Soobin noticed Felix’s female companion step off the skateboard and walk over in his direction, and for a second he felt bad for possibly ruining her night with his best friend. However, his frustration was more prominent in the moment as he fixed his gaze back on his best friend, who had fixed a mischievous smirk upon his face that made warning sirens blare in Soobin’s head right away.
“Now, now, buddy,” Felix said, his voice calm and carefree as ever. It probably had something to do with what he had just smoked, but Soobin didn’t care all that much. “You’re just gonna have to let me borrow it for a little longer.”
Soobin nearly laughed at the audacity of such a statement. “You are gonna give me the bike, or—”
“How about this, Soobs?” Soobin’s lips clamped shut at his friend’s interruption, as the thief in question gestured with his joint to where Soobin’s fingers were locked with yours. “You let me keep your bike for the night, and I don’t tell your dad about you hanging out with the opposite gender.”
Unable to control yourself, you let out a big laugh. Soobin would have felt betrayed, but he was more terrified than anything else at the idea of his father finding out that he was taking a girl out without his permission. He would be grounded for weeks—no, months.
“You wouldn’t.”
Felix’s lips curled up even more into a twisted grin that Soobin wished he had the guts to slap off his face. “God, just imagine the look on Mr. Choi’s face. Imagine him finding out about your premarital hand holding.”
No. Not the hand holding.
Soobin almost felt faint, but he steeled himself to the best of his abilities as he cleared his throat. “One night, Lix,” he warned. “If I don’t see it on my porch in the morning, you’ll be sorry!”
“Oh, I’m so scared,” Felix teased. His expression changed a moment later though, when he finally noticed Soobin’s swollen nose and blood-stained turtleneck. “Wait, Soobs, the hell happened to you?”
Soobin, however, had already taken his first steps away from the skatepark, pulling you along behind him. “I’ll tell you later, bud. Enjoy your spliff with that kind girl who you probably don’t deserve!”
“Hey!”
Soobin couldn’t help but laugh as he swung your interlocked hands together, grinning as you let out a laugh as well. The anger that had seeped through him seemed to melt away in an instant as the two of you continued your journey to the Dairy Shack.
“Would your dad really be that upset if he found out about this?” You asked.
Soobin grimaced. “We should probably wait til next year to tell him about this outing. Or maybe the year after that.”
When the two of you had finally reached the Dairy Shack, you waited outside for him while he went in to order your drink. A large chocolate milkshake, with two straws, just like you used to get every time before.
When he had the drink in hand, he walked back outside and sat down beside you on the curb, smiling as you wrapped his jacket tighter around your shoulders. You smiled back up at him, your eyes creasing from the expression. Your smile had always struck him right to his core; he had missed seeing it every day.
He hoped he could see it every morning and every night from that day onward. There was no way he would let you go this time.
He just had to muster up the courage to grab hold of you first.
“You know what, Binnie, you turned out to be a lot taller than I thought you ever would be,” you said as you took one of the straws from his hands. “You’re actually enormous. It’s shocking.”
“Should I find that offensive? It sounds kinda like an insult.”
“Take it however you will,” You teased, leaning over as he popped the plastic lid off the milkshake. He grabbed the cherry by the stem and held it towards you.
“What are you doing?” You asked, holding out your fist. “We have to rock, paper, scissors for it. Remember?”
Soobin laughed as he shook his head. “I’m giving it to you this time. It’s what I planned to do all those years ago, when I asked you to hang out on Valentine’s.”
You seemed to be taken aback, but you simply shrugged as you plucked the cherry from his hand and pulled it from the stem with your teeth, glancing back over at him. It was silent for a moment, but then your eyes landed on the pocket of his jeans, where you could see a bit of red paper poking out. You leaned over even further, reaching your hand out to snatch the paper.
“What are you—hey! Give that back!”
Soobin desperately tried to take his Valentine back from you, but it was too late. You held both halves of what used to be a whole in your hands, your eyes scanning the words as you pieced them together.
“Soobin . . .”
He held his breath. Had his act of young love left you completely speechless? Were you so touched that you would burst into tears?
“This looks like a middle schooler made it.”
He let out the breath in the form of a long, long sigh.
“That’s because it was made by a middle schooler,” He said as he set the milkshake down beside him. “I made it back in the eighth grade. I planned to give it to you that Valentine’s.”
“Oh.” You ran your finger along the card’s surface, the smallest smile creeping across your lips. “Well in that case, it’s not half bad. Why’s it ripped though?”
“Ah—well, Yeonjun . . .”
You nodded, taking another glance at his swollen nose. “No need to elaborate. It seems you had a lot planned for our Valentine’s Day back then. Is there anything else you wanted to do?”
His mouth went dry at that, and he wished that you couldn’t see his face because he was sure that his expression was quite comical. All the way back then, four years prior, he had in fact planned the perfect, ideal day in his head. Picking you up on his bike, giving you the cherry from his milkshake, and presenting you with his hand made card.
There was only one thing left on his list.
He didn’t move at first, willing himself to have enough courage to even look back in your direction. But when he finally did allow his eyes to meet yours, he felt his shoulders relax and his heart rate became more manageable.
He took a deep breath, leaned forward, and pressed his lips against your cheek.
He lingered there for only a moment before he pulled back, daring to pry one of his eyes open to take in the look on your face.
The disappointment was palpable—from the way your brows furrowed together and the way you pursed your lips. His stomach dropped, and he scooted the tiniest bit away from you.
“I’m sorry,” He blurt out, his face growing warmer by the second. “I shouldn’t have done that, I just—”
“Is that all?”
Your question stopped him mid-ramble, his eyes growing wide. “Huh?”
“Is that all?” You repeated, closing the distance between you that he had created. “It’s Valentine’s Day, Soobin. I think we can do better than a peck on the cheek.”
The implications of what you were saying didn’t register with him right away, but when it finally did, he could have sworn his heart began to beat loud enough for the entire town to hear. His hand curled into a fist as he gripped the denim of his jeans. He leaned forward, keeping his eyes open just enough to watch you as he brought his lips closer to yours. He could feel your eyes on him all the while, causing his heart to pound fiercer still within him.
When he was just a breath away, he whispered, “Can you close your eyes?”
“Hm?”
He lifted his hand, gently placing it over your eyes. He leaned closer then, filling the space between you both as his lips met yours. You tasted vaguely of cherry and strawberry slice soda, and he found it quite nice the way his lips seemed to fit perfectly against your own. As the seconds drew on, your hands slipped around his neck, pulling him closer. He slowly let his hand fall from your eyes, tracing lines with the tips of his fingers down your cheek before he cradled your jaw, letting his lips part just enough to taste the sweet sugar on your lips once more.
He thought in a haze that it was a good thing he didn’t drink anything at the party, as kissing you was proving to be intoxicating enough on its own.
When you finally pulled away, leaving your forehead resting against his, he let his eyes flutter open enough to see the euphoric smile that adorned your features. He grinned as well, gently running his thumb against your cheek.
“I think that back then, I had planned to ask you this before kissing you,” He whispered, “But Y/N, will you be my Valentine?”
Instead of a spoken answer, you laughed, leaning forward to capture his lips with yours once again, and that was the only answer Choi Soobin would ever need.
-
WHEN SOOBIN ARRIVED HOME THAT NIGHT, HE WENT STRAIGHT FOR THE TELEPHONE.
It was kept upstairs at night right outside his parent’s door, to keep himself and his brother from using it in the late hours. Of course, this never stopped Soobin from sneaking it downstairs to his room in the basement to make late night calls to Felix.
And that particular evening, he really needed to give Felix an update.
He grabbed the phone from the small table in the hallway, carefully tiptoeing towards the basement stairs. Before he had even taken the first step down, the bathroom door creaked open. Soobin whipped his head around to see his brother Kai standing there, rubbing the sleep from his eyes as he raised a brow at his older brother.
Soobin froze, blinking slowly as he realized the incriminating situation he found himself in.
“Please don’t tell mom,” He whispered, his eyes pleading with his younger brother.
Kai nodded, although Soobin wasn’t quite convinced that the boy was even coherent enough to understand what was going on. Soobin offered a rushed thank you, and ventured his first step down the stairs.
Well, he tried, anyways, and ended up missing the first step. He tumbled down the rest of the stairs, landing on his butt at the very end.
He winced in pain, glad to see that the phone was still intact in his hands. He glanced over his shoulders to see Kai staring down the stairway with wide eyes, his lips parted in shock. Soobin quickly put a finger to his lips, begging his brother for silence.
Kai simply shook his head and walked away, allowing Soobin the freedom to breathe out a sigh of relief.
He quickly ran to his bedroom and shut the door, collapsing onto his bed with the phone as his breaths came in ragged gasps as an aftereffect from his tumble down the stairs. He figured he should have dialed Felix’s number right away, but he couldn’t help but brush his fingers against his lips, remembering the feeling and taste of having yours pressed against them.
He was so caught up in his daze that he didn’t notice Felix calling until the third ring.
He picked it up, breathing heavily into the speaker as he rubbed a sore spot on his lower back. 
“Please tell me that panting is from running a marathon, and not what I think you’ve successfully tried.”
Soobin nearly gagged, holding the phone away from his face as he coughed, flustered by his friend's crude words. He brought the phone back to his face and said, “No, you sicko, I just fell down the stairs.”
“How the hell did you manage that with those long legs?”
“That’s not important, Lix!” He laid back onto his pillows then, twirling the phone cord in his hands as he stared up at his ceiling, the memories of his adventure with you that night flooding his mind once more. He couldn’t help but smile from ear to ear as he said, “Look, I need to tell you something important.”
If he didn’t know any better, he would have thought that he could hear the smile in Felix’s voice too as his friend replied.
“Well buddy, I got something to tell you too.”
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Text
begin again - part four
Jax Teller x female!Reader
Summary: After the return of her abusive ex-boyfriend, the reader plots her escape
Word count: 2,9k words
Warnings: bad language, alludes to the death of a minor character, physical & verbal abuse & kinda angsty
Author's note: Enjoy the fourth installment and all feedback is welcome! :)
If you’re in an abusive relationship or you suspect that someone you know is being abused, speak up and reach out to the correct people!
Beta read by @crucifixedbitch
PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE
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You examine your face in the mirror, pleased with the job you’ve done to conceal the marks left by B/N. Last night was brutal and you would do anything to erase it from your memory. To never have it happen again.
“Toots!” A loud pounding sounds on the bathroom door, “Come on, sweetheart, we’ve got to go.”
“Yeah, I’m sorry. I-I’ll be there in a second.” Moving quickly, you pack your makeup back into your cosmetic bag. “I just need to grab my bag.”
“Five minutes, okay?” he sounds irritated with you. “We’ll wait outside.”
With a shaking hand, you zip the bag closed and leave the bathroom for the bedroom. Your handbag is on the bed but your phone’s not on its usual spot at your bedside table and you just know B/N has something to do with its disappearance. And you know that it’ll be a while before you see it again. You’re so upset, it brings tears to your eyes but there’s no time for them. He’s waiting for you and being late will lead to trouble.
S/N and B/N are on the small patch of grass outside the house, kicking around a ball.
“You gotta kick the ball to me, okay kid? You gotta kick it hard.”
S/N scurries towards the ball and kicks it so hard, it zooms between B/N’s open legs and bounces off of the fence. They both cheer from excitement, and S/N runs straight into B/N’s open arms.
“That was amazing, buddy!”
You clap your hands, drawing their attention to you.
“Did you see that, Mommy?”
“I did, ace, and it was so good.” You walk over to join them on the grass, “Hey, sweet boy.”
You haven’t seen your son all morning. You lift him off the ground and hug him to your chest, it feels good to hold him so close to you, and for the second time in the last five minutes, you feel you might cry. The three of you make your way over to B/N’s rental SUV parked on the small driveway.
“Mommy, are you feeling cold?”
You briefly glance over to B/N who’s prepping the baby car seat. “A little. Mommy’s not feeling too well.”
“Do you need chicken soup?”
You chuckle and press a kiss to his forehead, “Will you help me make it when we get back?”
He pinky promises you to. You hand him over to B/N who buckles him into the car seat. It’s not his intention, but you can’t help but feel humiliated by S/N’s question. A turtleneck and jeans in the dead of the summer in Charming, California? That’s sure to raise suspicions.
“Baby, do you not think I should stay behind?”
B/N turns in his seat, brows furrowed in confusion. “Why?”
Pointing at your turtle neck, you explain, “It’s going to draw attention. It’s summer and I’m dressed for winter.”
“And you care what these people think of you?”
Yes, a lot. It’s your fucking hometown, of course, you care! You want to scream at him, claw at his face, but you’re weak. Pathetic. You can’t even muster the courage to get away from him.
“Sweetheart, no one’s going to be looking at you. Trust me.”
Ouch.
“Don’t ruin this outing by being so self-obsessed.” He starts the car’s engine and backs out of the driveway, “Do you want to listen to some music, buddy?”
Today’s your last day in Charming, B/N’s orders. Later on today, you’ll embark on a five-day road trip back to North Carolina. The idea of being trapped in the car with B/N has you regretting every decision you have made in your life that has led you to this point. Forty fucking hours? The car just isn’t big enough and no amount of eagerness from S/N can change your mind.
“When we get back, I need to see Mabel.”
Mabel’s a friendly neighbor who lives down the street from your mother’s. She moved to Charming a few months before your escape to Charlotte, and since your return, she has been a great help.
“Who’s Mabel?”
“She lives down the road.”
“Why do you need to see her?”
To use her phone to call Jax. “I want to give all my mother’s old furniture to charity. She offered to help me organize it.” It’s a believable lie, “It shouldn’t take more than ten minutes.”
After a dragged-out silence, he murmurs a soft ‘okay’ and warns you not to do anything stupid. “I might not be able to stop myself this time around.”
The chilling part is that it’s not an empty threat. You look back at S/N who’s softly singing along to ‘Old MacDonald Had A Farm’, gazing out the car window. Leaving Charming was a decision you made for his sake, to protect him from his father’s world. To give him a shot at a normal childhood, to raise him away from gangs and violence. Instead, you found yourself in the clutches of a wicked man who will one day kill you.
“Mommy, will we see Abel before we leave?”
“No,” B/N responds before you can.
God, you fucking hate him. Your feelings towards him are violent, and you’ve got to come out of the car before you act recklessly.
“Stop the car.” You unbuckle your seatbelt prompting the seatbelt alarm to go off. “Stop the car, B/N, now!”
He pulls into the empty parking space in front of a bridal shop. You frantically open the car door and stumble out of the vehicle, gasping for air. So glad to have distance from the devil you call your boyfriend.
“Toots, what’s wrong?”
You take a step away from him, needing the space. “I need to breathe, B/N.”
That upsets him. “What are you trying to do? Huh? Get in the fucking car so I can drive to the grocery store.”
You pace around in a circle on the sidewalk, contemplating your next move. You can’t run off, B/N could easily catch you and S/N’s still in the car. You can’t leave him, even though you know B/N would never harm him. He loves him too much. Think, think, think! You have a moment of clarity when you look across the street and see who you believe to be Bobby Munson sitting at an ice cream shop. What are the odds?
“Ice cream and candy!” You spin to look at B/N who’s shooting daggers at you. “I want ice cream and we need candy for the road trip, don’t we?”
“What are you doing, Y/N?”
You walk back to the car to open S/N’s door and start unbuckling him from his car seat. “D’you want ice cream, ace?”
His face lights up. “Ice cream! Ice cream!” he chants.
“Alright. Come on.” You shut the car door, S/N clutched tightly in your arms, “It’s just a small pit stop. Do you want any?”
B/N looks furious but there isn’t much he can do to you out in the open. He’s starting towards you when his work phone starts ringing. He has to take the call and so he tells you to go ahead, he’ll meet you inside the shop. You flash him a smile and make your way to Scoops & Sweets. Now that you’re closer, you’re certain it’s Bobby, and he’s standing behind the counter with his arm in a sling, drinking beer.
“Bobby?”
“Y/N?” His stony expression morphs into a smile, “Hi, sweetheart.”
“Hi, Bobby.” For the first time in the last 12 hours, you feel safe. “I thought it was you.”
“Who’s the kid?”
“This is S/N,” you look proudly at your son. “Say hello to Bobby, ace?”
Bashful, he waves awkwardly at Bobby before concealing his face in the crook of your neck. You casually look over your shoulder to check if B/N’s still on his call before you turn back to Bobby.
“Bobby, is there a phone I can use? I want to call Jax, there’s something I want to tell him, and my phone’s broken.”
He looks out the window to B/N who’s pacing next to the rental. “Why didn’t you ask your friend to use his phone?”
“He doesn’t like to share.”
Bobby looks back at you. “Jax’s upstairs. Come, I’ll take you up to him. Bring the kid.”
Bobby calls for Chuckie who emerges from what you assume to be the staff break room. When you last saw Chuckie, he had fingers.
“What happened to your fingers?”
“Chinese cut them off,” he holds up his prosthetic hands. “These were a gift from Gemma.”
You regret asking. Bobby orders him to keep watch of the shop and starts leading you towards the flight of stairs.
“Uh Chuckie, a man will come in here looking for me. Could you tell him I went into the bathroom?”
Chuckie nods and you continue on your way with Bobby.
“Is this the new clubhouse?”
“Somethin’ like that.” Bobby leads you and S/N down a short hallway and stops in front of a closed door. He knocks once before he opens it, “Visitor for Jax Teller.”
The men in the room, consisting of Jax, Chibs, Tig, Happy, and Juice, all turn to the door. From their expressions, you’d swear they’ve just seen a ghost. You might as well be a ghost.
Jax raises off his chair and crosses the space to join you at the door. “Is everything okay?”
“Hi, boys. I’m sorry for interrupting your meeting,” suddenly, coming to Jax seems like a bad idea. But B/N. You put S/N on the ground. “I just wanted to see you before we leave this afternoon.”
Jax scowls.
“We’re headed back home to North Carolina. Driving.” You throw your arms around your ex, wincing at the discomfort you feel at the contact. “I’m so glad I could see you again.”
He returns your hug, holding you flush against him and you don’t care that you’re in pain. You’re vaguely aware of the fact that the bottom hem of your sweater’s risen, probably exposing the bruises on your lower back. There’s a pang of pain in your heart when he releases you. The tears blur your vision. God, you hate that you’re so emotional today.
“How are you getting home?”
“B/N arrived last night, he’s waiting for us downstairs.” Probably impatient and suspicious. “We should probably get going.”
Downstairs, B/N’s at the counter listening to Chuckie recount the time he had his fingers cut off by Lin’s men. S/N leaps out of your arms and runs over to B/N.
“Here’s your candy.” Chuckie slides two bags of candy to you, “Don’t worry about paying, it’s on the house.”
You smile at him. “Thank you.”
B/N snatches the candy from the counter and the three of you make your way out of the shop. It’s a short trip to the grocery store and luckily for you, there aren’t a lot of people buying groceries whilst you’re there. The tension from earlier has subsided, and the ride back to your mother’s house is a sing-along with S/N leading you. You’re helping B/N unload the bag of groceries from the car when you spot a familiar van at the end of your street.
“When will you go to Mabel’s?”
“After lunch,” you start unpacking the groceries, “I’m sure you boys are hungry.”
“Starving.” He leans over to press a kiss to the side of your head, “I’ll have a beer with my lunch.”
He leaves you in the kitchen to join S/N who’s building Lego in the living room. You’ve just finished laying all the lunch ingredients on the counter when you hear the thunderous roar of a motorcycle outside your house. Shortly after, a knock sounds.
“I’ll get it,” you call from the kitchen.
Unfortunately, B/N beats you to the door. He angrily signals for you to go back into the kitchen.
“Do as you’re fucking told,” he warns through gritted teeth. “Go back to the kitchen.”
You open your mouth to protest but he marches over to you, grabbing your arm harshly, and drags you through the kitchen to the laundry nook.
“You’re hurting me!” you complain, struggling in his firm grip.
The sound of the back of his hand connecting with your cheek bounces off the walls of the small space. You forcefully shove him away from you and try to escape but he hooks a strong arm around your waist and hauls you back into the nook.
“Let go of me!” you claw at his arms and the pain causes him to release you.
“You little bitch!”
He lunges towards you but you’re quicker than him. You grab the first item in your reach which happens to be an iron and whack him on the head with enough force to make him cry out from the pain. You dash past him and run to open the front door at the same time Jax is about to shoot at the door.
His scowl deepens at your disheveled appearance. “Where is he?”
“In the laundry nook. I hit him on the head but he’s still conscious.”
“Where is the kid?”
S/N! You run into the living room, your eyes frantically searching around the space for your little boy. His Legos are strewn on the floor but there’s no sight of him. “S/N?”
“Mommy!”
He’s behind the couch. You find him curled up, his eyes closed and his hands covering his ears.
“My baby.” You scoop him in your arms and carry him towards the front door. “Jax?”
He calls back from the kitchen and tells you to go outside. “Rat’s got the van out front.”
“But Jax–”
“Go!”
You rush out of the house, S/N cradled in your arms. You’ve just stepped onto the patch of grass when you hear grunts coming from the house. Ratboy meets you at the gate and takes S/N from your shaking hands to carry to the van. He helps you into the vehicle before he climbs into the driver’s seat.
“Where are you taking us?”
“Gemma’s.”
💀💀💀💀💀
S/N and Abel are asleep in Jax’s old bedroom and you’re sitting at Gemma’s dining table staring blankly into space. If you had been told a week ago that you’d be seeking asylum at Gemma Teller’s home, you wouldn’t have believed it. You replay the last twenty-four hours in your head, you’re somewhat in disbelief of all that’s happened.
Gemma places a gentle hand on your shoulder, drawing you back to reality. “Here you go sweetheart,” she places a steaming mug of herbal tea in front of you, “it should help calm your nerves.”
“Thank you.” You place both of your shaking hands on the mug, watching as Gemma takes her place across the table from you. “Have you heard anything from Jax?”
“No,” she reaches for the box of cigarettes on the table. “I’m sure he’s fine.”
You nod, your eyes dropping to the mug. “Did he… did he tell you why he had Ratboy bring me here?”
“Psycho boyfriend,” she takes a pull from the lit cigarette. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
The shame brings fresh tears springing to your eyes. It makes it worse to know that this time around, S/N was awake to hear it all. You feel like you’ve failed him, exposed him to the very thing you vowed to protect him from when you left Charming all those years ago.
“What do I tell S/N?”
“Nothing,” she stubs out the cigarette in the ashtray. “You shouldn’t worry yourself with that right now. You should try get some sleep, you can worry about that tomorrow morning.”
“I don’t think I’ll be getting much sleep tonight.” You take a small sip of the hot tea and sigh, “This is all my fault.”
“Sweetheart, no.”
“It is and now I’ve gone and gotten Jax involved in this mess.” The frustration is eating at you, “I just–”
You’re cut off by the kitchen door opening. Jax’s back. Thank the heavens! Gemma rushes over to greet him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek.
“Are you okay, baby?”
“I’m fine, Mom.”
Joining you at the table, Jax pulls you into him and tenderly strokes your back. All your fears and concerns are alleviated once you’re in his arms.
“Did he hurt you?”
He chuckles and presses a gentle kiss to your forehead. “You shouldn’t be worrying yourself with that.”
“I can’t help it,” you laugh through your tears.
“You should get some rest.”
“All my stuff is back at my mom’s.” The thought of returning to the scene of last night’s brutality has you shuddering. You pull away from Jax and roughly dry your tears. “I don’t… I can’t–”
Jax pulls you back into him, holding you tighter than before, and gently rocks you. “He’ll never hurt you again.”
Guilt. You feel a tremendous amount of guilt. Is he dead? Possibly, and your guilt deepens when you recognize a small part of you overjoyed by the possibility. He deserves it. How could you even think that? No one deserves to die — not even B/N.
“How are you going to get rid of the body?”
He doesn’t respond to your question, instead, he tells you that he’ll get Rat to bring yours and S/N’s bags to Gemma’s.
“Jax, don’t leave,” you plead, the surge of panic hits you like a freight train and has you fisting the hem of his shirt. “Stay.”
He presses a kiss to your covered shoulder. “I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” he assures you.
💀💀💀💀💀
PART FIVE
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teddy06writes · 3 years
Note
sum angst for sapnap x quackity x karl x reader if requests are open, i dont remember if they are, and if u feel up to it
sapnap x karl x quackity x reader + sleepy bois x sibling!reader
trigger warnings: yelling, swearing, character death
this is an in game au so be aware of that
premise: you’ve been on the inside, spying on Shlatt for pogtopia, you thought you had had him convinced that the spy was Tubbo (Who knew just about nothing about pogtopia) but during the festival Shlatt asks you to make a speech... after the festival, things begin to fall apart
(y/n/n)- your nickname
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“And you’re sure about this? You’re positive that it’s him and not Quackity?” Shlatt asked.
The festival was in two days, Wilbur’s plan to blow Manburg was in place, and suddenly huge evidence of things you had berried was piling up. Your entire position as Pogopia’s spy was at risk.
“I’m positive Mr. President. I caught Tuboo poking around in some tunnels, trying to talk to TommyInnt just yesterday,” You lied straight through your teeth, “The log I found behind the files proves it.”
You held up the book, truly a work of your own notes, signed in you co workers hand.
Shlatt took it, quickly skimming through the pages, “Hmmm, this is significant evidence to condemn the kid. We’ll have to do something about.”
“Maybe we should exile him, like Wilbur and Tommy.” You suggested carefully.
He considered it for a moment, a wide jagged grin spreading across his face, “Or... we could execute him,” He seemed to take pleasure in your shock, “Publicly. We have been needing a slam finish for that festival.”
“Shlatt Tubbo is just a child!”
Shlatt glared down at you, “Sorry, what was that? It almost sounded like you were trying to go against the word of the president.”
The threat chilled you to the core, and you strained to stay calm, “With all due respect Mr. President, Tubbo is only 16, and there are other ways to deal with insurgents.”
“Insurgents? As in there's multiple now?” Alex strode into the room, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as you breathed a slight sigh of relief.
“Yes, your partner here has just informed me that our dear Tubbo is a traitor,” Shlatt slammed the journal onto the desk, ignoring the glare Alex gave him when you jumped, “He’s been spying on Manburg for Pogtopia.”
Alex reached for the book, flipping to the last page and reading allowed, “If there is ever a time to strike, it would be during the Manburg festival, though it is worth noting Wilbur’s plan of destroying L’Manburg should be put off as long as possible.”
“When I caught them in the tunnels under the city, they were talking about tnt,” You said, the shake in your voice all too real, as forced tears began to prick in your eyes, “Wilbur’s going to blow it up.”
Shlatt looked at you clearly searching for something, but giving up once you fully began to cry, turning to burry your face in your boyfriends shoulder.
The president sighed, annoyed, “Get them outta here Quackity, I can’t work when there's fucking crying in my office.”
“It’s probably just the stress, sir. I’ll get them home.” Alex carefully led you out of the white house, and you were grateful, unknowing how much of the emotion was real or not.
“Oh god! Is (y/n) okay?” Karl asked as soon as Alex had gotten you to where he was decorating party island.
“Yeah, they’ll uh- they’ll be alright. Shlatt, Manburg, stress, you know?” He eased you down to sit on one of the benches, and quickly Karl moved to sit and wrap his arms around you.
“Hey, I’ve gotta get back to work. I’ll see you guys tonight.” Alex quickly pecked at your cheek, and then Karl’s lips before heading back in the direction of the white house.
“What happened?” Karl asked softly once he had gone.
You sniffled, leaning into his embrace, “Work’s stuff. The festival’s getting stressful.”
“Yeah, well I’m helping Tubbo with the last of the decorating tomorrow,” He paused, “You’re missing Wilbur and Tommy aren’t you?”
You nodded, “I miss them and Techno and Phil. I miss home.”
Your duties as a spy didn’t entail much seeing your brothers, just taking down notes of what was going on in Manburg and leaving them in a remote chest for Wilbur to collect later.
“We all miss home. But think about it this way, if you hadn’t come here, you wouldn’t’ve found me, or Alex, or Nick,” Karl said, looking out at the rest of Manburg, “We wouldn’t have this place without you or your brothers, and even Shlatt can’t change that.”
You smiled a bit at that, “Thanks Karl.”
“And! You don’t have to worry about decorations for the festival cause I’m helping Tubbo with it tomorrow!”
Though it was meant to cheer you up you felt your heart sink lower, he and Nick still didn’t know, and wouldn’t about what would be planned for the festival, but hopefully Alex would understand the burden.
~~
“So why is there a festival?”
Nick had just arrived back in Manburg from a while’s stay in the SMP, and was very confused by the posters lining the streets.
“Shlatt wants to celebrate democracy, so he’s had Tubbo and I organize a festival.” You explained.
He cocked an eyebrow, “And what does Wilbur think of this?”
Nick was still the only one who’d found out about your allegiances to Pogtopia, only by mistake, when he’d caught you making the journey back from the cavern.
“Wilbur thinks it’s an opportunity,” You sighed, quickly scribbling down a new messege to the boys, “Techno think’s it’s a waste of time and energy, the anarchist energy’s been shining through more and more lately.”
“So who do you agree with?” He asked carefully.
“Neither, Wilbur’s gone manic, Techno is- well he’s Technoblade, and Tommy just goes along with what Wil says.” You tucked each note into an envelope, folding them between the pages of the newest set of notes.
You looked up to meet Nick’s eyes, “I’m worried about what Friday will bring. I’ve tried to throw Shlatt off my trail and it seems like it’s working I just-”
You broke off as Nick wrapped his arms around you, “Hey, it’ll be okay. And if he tries anything, I’ll be there to protect you,” He chuckled, “Hell, maybe it’ll be the only time your brothers and I agree.”
“Maybe.” You mumbled.
“Woah! Are you guys cuddling without us?” Karl feigned shock as he came into the living room with Alex.
“I would never!” You forced a laugh.
~~
“(y/n), come on, we’ve gotta go get ready to meet Shlatt.” Alex nudged you.
You sighed, starting to snuggle back into Nick’s grip, wishing the small amount of morning calm would last, “Do we have too?”
“Yeah, you know he won’t be happy if we’re late.”
You looked at Karl and Nick, still mostly asleep, and then back at him, quietly admitting, “I’m scared today could change everything.”
He sighed, immediately shifting back down into be, “I suppose we could stay a bit longer.”
Slowly, the other boys woke up, but the room remained in silence, as if everyone could feel the coming tension, as if even moving would shatter the peace of the day.
Carefully, Karl broke the silence, “We’re gonna be okay guys. The festival is gonna be awesome. Wilbur wouldn’t do anything to ruin it for (y/n).”
“If what they found out is true, you guys could all be at risk.” Alex murmured.
Nick sighed, “I don’t care who’s bad side I get on, it’s gonna be anything to keep you all safe.”
Each of you heard a different meaning behind his words, but still none of you spoke.
“Whatever happens today, we’ll make it through, the country, may not.” You said, voice wavering, but still with a note of finality.
~~
By midday the festival was in full swing, and surprising your older brother had actually shown up for the festivities.
“Strange seeing you here,” You laughed, nudging him, “A celebration of a government.”
“It’d be rude to turn down an invitation ta one a these,” He sighed, glancing around, “Where’s your boyfriends hanging around at, I haven’t threatened them yet today.”
You chuckled, “Q’s helping Shlatt with the last of the prep for the speeches. Sapnap’s supposedly trying to figure a way to cheat Fundy’s dunk tank and Karl’s over there.” You gestured to where he, Tubbo, Sam and Bad were running around at Party Island.
“mmm, hey, uh, your note the other day, you weren’t serious about framing the kid right?”
You sucked in a breath, tightening the grip on the sword at your side, “It was him or Al- Quackity, I couldn’t do that to him. Whatever they’re planning I’m going to stop them.”
Techno look back at the stage warily, “I’ll back you up if I can.”
Soon everyone was being called to take there seats in the audience as you, Tubbo, Alex, and Shlatt took to the stage.
“Well everyone!” Shlatt addressed the crowd, “Thank you for coming to this wonderful celebration of democracy! Things sure have gotten bet around here, I’m gonna give the mic to Tubbo, the main organizer of this event, for his speech.”
Tubbo grinned, shuffling his notecards as he took Shlatt’s spot in front of the microphone, “Hello everyone! I’m honestly so excited to be here right now!”
As Tubbo rambled on about Wilbur and Tommy’s banishment, you stood back, wishing you could’ve stood on the same side of the stage as Alex.
Looking out over the crowd gathered you tried not to let your gaze wander to Tommy and Wilbur, who you knew were perched on the top of a near by building.
“And uh yeah! To democracy!” Tubbo concluded.
You could almost here Alex chuckle as he started to turn to the chest on the side of the stage, ready to grab the materials to box the boy in.
“That was nice, hey, uh, (y/n), dear (y/n), my secretary of state, I uh, I hate to put you on the spot here, but uh, why don’t you come up and make a speech?” You blood ran cold at Shlatts words.
On the other side of the stage Alex froze as well, out in the crowd no one suspect anything, so you clasped your hands behind your back to hide the tremors and moved in front of the microphone.
“Well, uh hi guys! I honestly didn’t except to be up here making a speech today, so I’m not quite sure if this will even turn out coherent,” You laughed, out of the corner of your eye you noticed Tommy tensing, “I remember, soon after I followed my brothers to this land, we fought in a war. L’manburg’s war for independence was long and hard, and I often thought we would never see a better time, but standing here, it is very clear to me that this country has changed since the election.
“This country, since gaining it’s independence has changed my life, and it weighs on my heart that My L’manburg has a ruler such as Mr. JShlatt. We fought for this land, my brothers and I, and here we are today, with so much progress made! So, my friends, my colleges, here's to Our L’manburg!”
Everyone began to cheer, only to be cut off my Shlatt’s harsh laugh, “Oh, (y/n), it’s Manburg now remember? or did you forget while you were off conspiring with your brothers in Pogtopia?”
Tubbo pushed a still frozen Alex out of the way to grab the materials, beginning to box you in.
“S- shlatt?” You quickly turned on the emotion, turning frantically as they caged you in, “Shlatt what are you talking about?”
“Shlatt what the hell are you doing?” Alex asked.
“Oh, you didn't know? Your partners a traitor!” Shlatt laughed again.
Alex turned to you, now trapped between the throne and the mic stand, looking betrayed.
“I didn’t do anything! Shlatt! Please!” Though a few days before most of the emotion had been real, but now you were thankful for your acting skills, blubbering, “Alex! Alex look at me it wasn’t me! I didn’t do anything!”
Down in the stands Nick was halfway to standing, pushing Karl back down into his own seat.
“Or really? So that book wasn’t forged? That chest you used to pass messages? You tried to turn them against me!” Tubbo exclaimed.
“I didn’t- I- I would never betray my country!” You sobbed, forcing tears to leak from your eyes.
“Oh shut up,” Shlatt turned to the crowd, “Technoblade, front and center, get up here.”
Shakily Techno stood, quietly moving up to stand on the stage as Alex backed off the stage, looking between you and Shlatt with mixes of betrayal and shock.
“What uh, what you need me up here for Shlatt?”
“I want you to take care of them, make a public example.”
Techno coughed awkwardly, “You- you want me ta kill m’ sibling?”
“No!” You exclaimed, “Techno please...”
Shlatt glared at you, “Cut the crap (y/n)! We all know you aren’t actually this god damn emotional!”
Sapnap was fully in the isle now, sword drawn, and up on the roof You saw Wilbur clamping a hand over Tommy’s mouth to keep him to keep him from giving them away.
Sighing you wiped away the fake tears, “You have to admit, Shlatt, you believed me, you trusted me!”
Shlatt just rolled his eyes, “Techno get on it, snap too! I’ve got places to be.”
Techno slung his crossbow off his shoulder uncertainly, “(y/n)?”
All the fear from the morning came flooding back, but you shoved it down, leaning forward, to make eye contact with Shlatt, “You kill me now and nothing will change! This place will still go down hill and my brothers will still plot against you! All my secrets go down with me!”
“Shut your mouth and die already!”
Your nails dug into your palms, “Don’t make them watch Shlatt, have some mercy, if you want to kill me kill me, but don’t make my boys watch, don’t make Techno do it.”
“Get it over with!”
You leaned forward, gritting your teeth, “You heard the man, kill me.”
“(y/n), I can’t- you- yo- I-”
“Do it.” You hissed.
Time slowed, and Techno slowly raised the crossbow.
You looked out, past him, over the rolling fields of L’manburg, your home.
Niki out in the crowd wore a look of horror, hiding her face in Eret’s shoulder, who wore a simillar look for fear. Fundy wore a steely expression clearly close to breaking, Sam looked down right terrified, as Bad hid his eyes in his hands.
To your left Tubbo looked scared even though he’d put you in the cage, you were glad it was you and not him.
Shlatt wore his usual evil grin, pupil’s dilated.
Up on the roof, Tommy, your little brother looked horrified, Wilbur still holding him back with a neutral expression, Techno, now directly in front of you, was nearly in tears, your big brother, who swore to protect you, now being your end, it seemed almost poetic.
Behind him Nick was running up the isle, sword drawn, though you knew he’d be to late, Karl, lip quivering sat frozen, and Alex, his face still was filled with betrayal.
You looked up, took a deep breath and then time resumed, Techno pulled the trigger and everything went black.
{(y/n) went off with a bang}
~~
It was cold.
Dark.
You didn’t now where you were as you drifted through a world you barley recognized.
Where was this?
How did you get there?
Vaguely you remembered a festival, your brothers, plus your boyfriends, oh how you loved them.
Your friends had been there too.
You looked back down to see L’manburg, ‘home!’ you thought happily.
You drifted towards your house, a voice in the back of your brain wondering, ‘why am I not walking?’
“What the fuck was that?” A loud voice cut through the air.
‘Nicky!’ you thought happily, following the sound.
“What the hell do you mean?”
‘Alex!’
You entered the room, finding them standing on opposite side, Karl, huddled in the corner.
“You are so fucking stupid! You know that? You let them die! They’re fucking dead because of you!”
“They were a fucking traitor! They got what was coming to them!”
“They loved you!” Nick screamed back, “They loved you and me and Karl, and their brothers! And now there gone! Because of You and Fucking Shlatt!”
What were they talking about?
“They fucking betrayed us! They betrayed Manburg! You saw the fucking acting they did! How do you know they ever loved us!”
From the corner Karl sobbed, and instinctively you moved to comfort him, but instead you passed right through.
‘what the hell?’
You had no time to dwell however because Nick shouted, “Etheir way you let them die! They’d be here if you’d interfered!”
“But I didn’t wooupdy do! They were a traitor!”
“They were trying to save their home!”
“WELL MAYBE THEY SHOULD’VE CONSIDERED THAT I WAS TRYING TO BUILD IT UP!”
“You and Shlatt never did anything but tare this place to the ground.” It was only a whisper, but Nick’s words sent Alex spinning on his heel and heading out the door.
“Fuck you! Fuck you! I am aware that my best isn’t good enough! So fuck you!”
The door slammed, and Nick only blinked a moment before Karl quietly asked, “Why did you do that?”
“What?”
“Now he’s gone too!”
Karl’s voice made your heart shatter.
“You think that’s my fault?! Clearly he didn’t give a shit about us, or them, other wise he would’ve stopped Shlatt.”
“They said we’d be okay! But we’re not!” Karl sobbed.
“I can fucking see that! God damn Karl! What did you except?”
“I-”
Before he could finish the door was slamming again.
Karl leaned back against the wall, staring straight through you whispering, “Why did you have to go (y/n/n)? You only just brought us together! We only just figured it out.”
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