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#i am historically Bad At Explaining Things

genesisgijinka · 1 month

Note

Do you have any tips for drawing backgrounds? Yours always look so nice

aww thank you! As for tips...

Tip #1:

Find references. I sketched the cover for chapter 4 three different times, because the first two didn't evoke the majesty of the Prism Tower in the way I wanted it to. And then I saw this

I think you can see how this translated into the cover

Tip #2:

Do studies. Be it from photos (your own or from a royalty free website like pixabay, but watch out for AI garbage bc the perspective is usually wrong) or from real life. It's not cheating, it's encouraged, and it's industry standard. Idc if you have photographic memory, get something from real life in front of your eyeballs and draw it. Try and keep your reference close to your drawing so that it's easier for your eyes to flick back and forth between the two. This is how you can train your eyes to really see what's going on in an image. Compare angles, shapes, sizes, and distances.

I use clip studio paint for Genesis, which has perspective rulers and they're super handy for speeding up the process (first image) and again, is not cheating. It's a tool to use in your arsenal. A little tricky to use, but once you get it down, it's fantastic. I also really recommend using other mediums, like a sketchbook and a sharpie (2nd image) or dinking around in Paint (3rd image). Limiting yourself in challenging ways is a great way to grow fast. Experimenting like this is also great for finding a style or technique that you click with

Tip #3:

Be aware of the cone of vision. This is a technical skill, but it's one of those things that you don't necessarily have to draw out every single time (tho I'd recommend doing it at least once to burn it into your memory better). If your drawing is looking wonky, the cone of vision being breached is a likely culprit. I'll link a video to someone who can explain how to do it better than I can.

youtube

Tip #4:

Learn how to draw things the same size in perspective. This is probably the thing I use the most. For example;

You have a tiled floor in a room. The lines going to the vanishing point are easy to do.

But how do you do the horizontal ones going across the floor?

Step 1: draw two horizontal lines, and put an X in one of them, going from corner to corner

Step 2: Going from the center of the X, trace a line back to the vanishing point

Step 3: from one corner, draw a line that goes through where that center line hits the tile edge

Step 4: at the end of this new line is where the next tile will start

Step 5: Rinse and repeat as needed

Ta-da! You now have tiles that are all the same size

This also works for vertical things like windows or telephone poles

One of the most useful applications I've found this trick for is making sure that everything is the right size. Sticking a person in a drawing is an instantly recognizable way to show scale

Whilst sketching the cover for ch 4, I'd accidentally made the doors way too small in the buildings in the back, so I slapped some people down to make sure they were the right height (This is in 3-point perspective, so the trick still works, regardless of if it's 1-, 2-, or 3-pt perspective owo b )

#comic ask #anonymous #anon #long post #perspective tutorial #kinda #i am historically Bad At Explaining Things #so hopefully this is somewhat coherent #you can also cheat a lot with establishing shots #put some mileage in for a few really nice panels #and then proceed to just draw the corner of a room lol

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pirategauguin · 8 months

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Teha'amana was the native wife of Paul Gauguin during his first visit to Tahiti in 1891 to 1893. It was common at that time for French colonists to take native wives; the wives simply referred to as vahine, Tahitian for "woman". These vahines were often underage children, as was the case with Teha'amana, their marriage being arranged by their family for reasons of status or financial advantage. The marriages were generally not legally binding. All three of Gauguin's vahines, the two he took after Teha'amana eventually returned home while Teha'amana herself declined to continue their relationship when Gauguin returned to Tahiti in 1895. Teha'amana undoubtedly saw herself as conventionally married according to her local customs, but for Gauguin the marriage was clearly a temporary arrangement. Nevertheless, he did profess a tender love for Teha'amana in his journal Noa Noa. Pierre Loti's Le Mariage de Loti, a book that influenced Gauguin's decision to travel to Tahiti, was an immensely popular account of such a marriage twenty years earlier, although in that case the marriage was actually a fictional composite of many casual liaisons indulged by Loti during a two-month visit to Papeete. In Loti's account his wife was fourteen years old, while in Gauguin's account Teha'amana was just thirteen years old.

These things are true. I want to make it clear that I do not condone these actions. However, this blog is not meant to refer to the real Gauguin. There is a degree of separation between the Gauguin from history and the fictional portrayal of Gauguin in the musical Starry. I do try to make this clear, as I have pinned a post discussing this to the top of this blog.

The difference between a real person from history and a character based off of that person is an important distinction to make. A character is not a real person, they are used as tools in a story and this may involve exaggerating certain elements of their historical counterpart and eliminating others, or for the sake of the plot, it may make more sense to put a character in a position the real person was never in. Beyond the plot, another reason these things may be done is to better convey a message that the writer(s) want to share. Applying this to Gauguin, if I remember correctly, the historical Gauguin never directly stated how he felt about how he had left the Yellow House. The Gauguin in Starry, however, has a line in the last song of the show that makes his view on this very clear: "I want to live again so I can stay." The character of Gauguin regrets his actions because that was what was right for the story the writers wanted to tell.

I do think this is an important discussion to have; the bad things historical people have done is something that should be talked about and recognized to be Not Good, but if these things are not relevant to the story being told, they should not be brought up as a reason to dislike the character. Not that a character doing bad things means that you're wrong to like them, but I could make a whole other post about that.

#i'm just trying to explain there are no hard feelings here #i'm open to discussing this sort of thing more if anyone has anything further to say on the matter #also i'm actually so close to writing an essay of a post about how it's ok to like characters who do bad things bc it's been a Thing lately #please let me know if you're interested bc i WILL do it #sorry if anything i wrote sounds a bit weird i did this at late o'clock and i am sleep deprived #asks #anon #historical counterpart

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moonshinedyke · 7 months

Text

I am literally fucking BEGGING you all to also acknowledge the racism behind the terms "non-man" and "non-woman" and how they're used in queer definitions.

Black and Indigenous queer people have literally been talking about this since the definition was COINED but there's literally NO acknowledgement of this when pointing out why "non-men loving non-men" and "non-women loving non-women" are shitty fucking definitions to force on a whole community.

"Nonman" and "nonwoman" are terms that have been historically used to describe the degendering of black people in society. And words can obviously be used to mean different things- we don't have to stop using these terms altogether. But forcing these terms on a whole community of queer people is really fucking antiblack.

Not to mention that it blatantly degenders a lot of 2S lesbians and gays as well. It basically tells them that they can't be 2S and as a lesbian or gay at the same time, because then they would be "contradictory." I seriously hope I don't have to explain how racist it is to exclude a large portion of Two-Spirit people from your queer label because they don't fit into your neat little white gender binary.

Like these definitions aren't bad to use for yourself personally- but stop forcing them on all lesbians/gays. And if you're advocating for why these shouldn't be used as the most prominent definition, PLEASE acknowledge the racism aspect of it.

#gaytekeeping #racism #mspec lesbian #mspec gay #lesboy #turigirl

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samandcolbyownme · 4 months

Text

Summary: y/n is partnered with popular party boy, Sam, for a project and she hates it. Not a request

Warnings: SMUT18+, strong language, mentions of alcohol, slight angst, slight hatred towards each other, mainly reader towards Sam, mean comments, flirting, unprotected sex, biting, scratching, general filth

Word Count: 10.4k | not edited

╔═══━━━─── • ───━━━═══╗

"I've been thinking about it.." your professor starts out, "..and instead of doing an actual test for the final, I'm going to have you guys do a project. On any historical event of your choosing."

"If we get to have partners, you're mine." Your friend nudges you. You look at her with a nod, "Oh of course."

"You will have a partner.." your professor continues and you look at y/f/n with a wide smile. But, that quickly gets ripped away, "But I will be assigning you your partners."

"Of fucking course." Y/f/n grumbles and you sigh, "Maybe he knows how well we work together. Maybe he'll assign us together."

She sighs, "I doubt that."

You knew she was right. You knew you'd probably get stuck with someone who would have you doing all the work anyway. Someone who has excuse after excuse as to why they can't get together and work on it.

Your leg bounced up and down as you wait for you and your friend's name to be called. Finally, towards the end, "Y/n y/l/n. You'll be partnered up with Sam Golbach."

You closed your eyes, completely shutting everything out as you sat in your anger, "Really?" You look at your friend, "Sam's hot. You just hate him because he's popular or whatever. I don't know. Some stupid reason that you just need to get over. You're lucky you didn't get stuck with Nevin."

"Is that who-"

"Yep."

You pout, "I'm sorry." You knew she was mad, but not at you. She was just taking it out on you, which isn't something new. But she was right, you did kinda hate Sam, but it wasn't stupid, well to you at least.

She rolls her eyes, "Uh huh." She stands up, grabbing her bag, "Gotta go meet my project partner." You sigh, "Yeah, gotta go find mi-"

"Hi." Sam is standing there with a toothy grin. You wanted to smack it off of him, "Yeah, hey." You roll your eyes as you grab your bag off the chair next to you.

"Hey, no need to be so hostile." Sam laughs and you stay silent, turning away from him. You start to walk away and he's right on your tail, saying hi to every girl that, god forbid gawks at him.

"Anything to fulfill your ego, right?" You mumble to yourself as you stare at the door ahead.

Sam jogs up next to you, "You say something?"

"Even if I did would it matter?" You pull your book closer to your chest and Sam laughs, "I mean, yeah. Kind of."

"Why?" You stop and look at him and he shrugs while shaking his head, "Because.. we're.. partners?"

You pause for a moment, "Yeah. Still wish that wasn't real."

"Why are you so negative about me? Is it because I haven't given you any attention?" He laughs and you gag, "no. I'm glad you haven't. And if we weren't partners, I would still be avoiding you."

"Avoiding me?" He furrows his brows and walks with you, "Am I that bad?"

You snort, "I mean, I just don't want to risk catching anything you may have gotten from the streets here at Silverston."

Before he can say anything else, you cut him off, "You don't need to explain yourself to me because I promise you.." you turn to look at him, "I'm not even going to risk it."

Sam's eyes move over your face as he pushes the door open, "Uh huh." He motions, "After you."

You roll your eyes walking out of the building, "So I figured we could just go to the coffee shop and start working on this final."

Sam sucks air between his teeth, "Actually.."

"I'm going to be doing all of this?" You sigh, "Good thing I already planned on it." You go to walk away but he stops you, "Actually, I have a date, but if you wanted to I can come over after."

You laugh, "No. thanks. I don't need you infesting my dorm with whatever you'll freshly be infected by whatever falls into your trap this time."

"How do I know you don't have anything? Sounds like you're projecting.. or something." Sam smirks and you roll your eyes, "While I am impressed you know what projecting in that sense means, I can actually show you my medical record."

"I'll show you mine if you show me yours." He winks and you fight back laughter, "In your dreams, Golbach. I'll text you when I figure out what I want to do the project on."

You turn and as you're walking away, Sam yells out to you, "You don't even have my number."

"I'm sure I can walk to the street corner and get it." You yell back and walk away laughing.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

You lean back from your laptop, cracking your knuckles as your eyes scan over the page of notes that you took.

Your phone chimes, you don't think anything of it.

It chimes again. Still nothing.

Finally on the third, you sigh, "I'm fucking busy." You mumble as you pick up your phone. You laugh as you read over the texts from an unknown number.

I guess you didn't walk to the street corner to get my number.

Did you find an idea yet?

Date went awful. Text me your dorm info.

"Fucking. Sam." You clench your jaw as you think of something to say, but instead you don't. You just set your phone back down and decided that you'll tell him you fell asleep or something.

As you go back to taking notes, there's a knock on your door. You thought that maybe your roommate forgot her key again, so you get up, "Did you forget your key again, Lauren?"

You open the door, smile instantly vanishing as your eyes meet those blue ones, "What are you doing here?"

"We have a project to work on, remember?" Sam pushes the door open and walks in. You look around to make sure no one seen him walk in and you turn, "Yeah no shit, but I mean.. here. In my room."

"You weren't answering my texts. My date went bad, and-"

You cut him off, "Then you told me to text you my dorm info... so what I'm getting is that you still can't take a hint?"

He laughs and swings his backpack off his shoulder, "yeah, yeah. Let's just get start- oh. Shit." He looks from your progress then back at you, "You're really doing this thing aren't you."

"I need to pass Sam. With or without you." You walk back over to the couch, sitting down to pull your laptop on your lap.

"Oh, so you did read my texts." Sam sits down and you laugh, "Where have you been? We were already over this."

"Well fill me in. What did you pick?" He leans over to look at your screen, and you stay quiet as you take in how good he actually smells, but quickly snap out of it. You shake your head slightly as you clear your throat, "I picked the Battle of New Orleans."

"That's a good one. I was thinking that one, too." Sam nods and leans back. You raise your eyebrows, "Really?"

He goes into shaking his head, "No. not at all."

"Figures. You were only thinking about getting your dick wet." You mumble and focus back on the computer.

Sam laughs, "Think what you want, but with who showed up on that date, you wouldn't be surprised that I ditched."

"Who was it?"

He raises his eyebrows, "Do you really want to know or are you just nosey?"

You shrug and smirk, "Both."

He laughs, "Alright, well I had a date set with Candice, but her sister showed up instead."

You raise your brows again, "Well.. that's not really fair. Setting her sister up for failure like that."

"Yeah, I don't know." Sam shakes his head, "Her sister, isn't my type so."

"Of course you have a type." You roll your eyes and he tilts his head, "You have a type, too, y/n. We all do." You look up at him, "Oh yeah? What my type then?"

He smirks, "Tall. Handsome. Blue eyes. Dark hair."

"Is that why you dyed your hair?" Your eyes flick up to his messy brown hair, "I knew something was off about you."

"Ouch. That hurt." He lays a hand on his chest, "I'm not your type?"

"Not at all." You go back to looking at your computer and reach out to toss a notebook at him, "That's what I have down so far. I'm thinking we can just do a slideshow."

He grabs it, eyes scanning over as he nods, "What can I do?"

"Are you actually going to take this seriously?" You look up at him and he nods, "Yes."

"Okay. Good. So what you can do first, is get out of my dorm." You stare at him and he smirks, "You're so cute when you're mad."

"Ew. No. Get out." You close your lap top, "I need to go get dinner anyway."

"Let's go together. We can work on this while we eat."

Although the offer did sound tempting, you really didn't want to be seen with him, labeled as another notch in his belt, "I'd rather stick needles in my eyes and slam my head into the floor."

"You really don't like me do you?" Sam smirks and stares at you and you shake your head, "Not really, no."

"What did I ever do to you, huh? Seriously."

He knew you couldn't answer because there wasn't anything he personally did to you. It was more or less how and who he is as a person.

"You want an honest answer?" You sit up more and cross your legs as you look at him.

"I wouldn't have asked if I didn't." Sam shrugs and you sigh as you lean forward to set your laptop on the small table in front of you, "You're a fuck boy, first of all. Second of all, I really don't want to be seen with you because I'm not going to be labeled a whore who's seen with the guy who's been in everyone on campus."

"I haven't been in everyone on campus." He mocks you, "I know that for a fact because I haven't ever been in you."

His words make your cheeks heat up, "Get out."

"Im joking. Im joking. I'm sorry." He laughs, "I had to. I had to, y/n.Now come on." He readjusts his sitting position and motions to the notes, "what can I do, other than get out?"

You sigh, "Why do you have to be my partner?" You grumble as you open up a new note book. Sam sighs, "Yeah I ask myself that, too."

"What's that suppose to mean?" You look over at him and he looks at you a few seconds, "Oh! I thought we were just saying things that we didn't really mean or weren't true or something like that." He snickers, "If it means anything, I'm glad you're my partner."

You snort, "Why? Because I'm smart and I'd do all the work? Or because you think you can get under my skin and torment me into wanting you?"

"I don't have to do anything, y/n." Sam smirks, "But since you said it. I do have to agree with you. You are very smart."

"Yeah, I know." You look down at the notebook that's lying between you and Sam on the couch, "Okay."

You write down a few things for him to research, "Here." You rip out the page and fold it up, "Look these things up and write down what you think is important enough to put on the slides."

He reaches forward and takes the piece of folded up paper, fingers brushing against yours, "I'll get right on that."

You pull your hand away, "Uh huh. I'm sure."

"I'm serious. I bet you I can fill this paper by morning."

"And If you don't?" You raise a brow, intrigued by this deal that's in the motion of being made.

Sam thinks for a moment and snaps, "I'll do the whole project myself.."

"Um, no. I really don't want to fail." You laugh slightly and he sighs, "Fine. You do one half, I'll do the other. And if I actually follow through my half.. I'll..." he looks around and shrugs, "I don't know."

You secretly liked Sam, but you put a barrier between you and him because you were saving yourself from the heartache of being cheated on or something.

"Maybe stick to one girl for once in your life." You look up, shocked that you just said that out loud, "I-um. I didn't.. mean to say that."

He stares at you, "Alright. You're on."

"You're lying." You roll your eyes, "As soon as you leave here. You'll be going home with the first bitch you lay eyes on."

"So come home with me."

"What?!" Your head snaps towards him, "No. no fucking way."

"Why not? That way you'll be able to know if I break our deal, and since we don't have any classes until next week.. you can just stay at my place." Sam shrugs, a smug smirk resting on his lips, "Just a thought."

"I have a math final Wednesday."

"So go to it and come back?" He laughs, "Look. I'm just trying to prove to you that I take deals and bets very seriously."

A twinge of excitement snaps in your stomach and before you can even take a second to think about it, "Fine."

Sam smirks and stands up, "Gather your shit. You're moving in."

"No. No. I'm not moving in. I'm just- actually. I don't even know what I'm doing." You run a hand through your hair and Sam walks over to you, leaning down so his face is inches from yours, "You know exactly what you're doing."

You squint, "Do I?"

He nods, "I think you do."

"What is it that I'm doing, Golbach?" You tilt your head and he smirks, "I think you like me."

"Wrong." You instantly say, "You couldn't be any more wrong."

"Then tell me why you agreed?" He stands back up, placing his hands on his hips, "I'd love to hear it."

You search for a reason, "Well, because. You, Samuel Golbach, are a player who needs to realize women aren't toys that you can pick up and put down whenever you get bored of them."

He chuckles, "That's.. not what I do.. but go on."

"It's exactly what you do, Sam. You pick a new girl, every day. Every other day. Maybe if they're lucky, half a week tops. Then you ghost them. Immediately moving on to the next victim.. I mean.. girl."

He laughs, "Oh I can't wait to prove you wrong."

"I will believe it..." You stand up, "When I see it. But you're on."

You start getting your stuff around, packing your school supplies and any other things you need.

"Don't forget clothes." Sam smirks as you look at him, "Yeah, because I'd forget the most important thing." You roll your eyes as he chuckles as you throw a few shirts and other items of clothing into the bag, "Alright." You turn and sigh, "Ready to see you fail."

"You mean win." Sam says in a smug tone and you sigh, "Yeah, whatever. I'm tired and hungry so let's just go."

As you walk out of the dormitory, you stop, "Wait. Girls aren't allowed in the dorms after this time." Sam laughs, "Who said I have a dorm?"

"You don't stay in a dorm?" You laugh, "Of course not."

"Yeah I have my own apartment right outside of campus." Sam points and you raise your eyebrows, voice quiet, "Of course you do."

"Don't worry. You won't catch anything. I rarely take girls there. I usually just kick their roommates out until I'm done."

"You're disgusting." You roll your eyes, hoisting your bag onto your shoulder with a groan. He looks over, "Want me to carry that for you?"

You shake your head, "Nope. I got it."

The thought of why you were doing this to yourself gets you through the walk to his car, "Why did you have to park so fucking far away?"

He rubs the side of his Tesla, "I don't want anyone scratching my baby."

You laugh slightly, "mhm." You throw your bag into the back and get in the front passenger seat, "This is actually quite nice, Sam. I'm impressed."

"That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me." He smiles and you huff, "Way to ruin it."

He laughs and starts to drive. About a half hour of silently wondering what the fuck you're doing later, he pulls into the parking spot in front of a nice looking building.

"Well, mi casa es tu casa." Sam motions from you to the building and you tilt your head, "Wow, someone actually paid attention in Spanish."

"Actually."

"There it is." You shake your head and reach for the handle to get out but Sam stops you, "I actually just know that because my friend Colby says it every time I go over to his place."

"At least you're learning something." You raise your brows and go to get out by Sam stops you again, "hold on. One more thing.."

You turn your head and look at him and he sighs, "I just wanted to tell you that I'm happy you ga- I've actually been wanting to do better and I just.." his eyes scan over your face and you feel drawn to him, "I just wanted to say thank you for taking a chance on me."

You blink, breaking your stare from him before you can do anything you'll regret three seconds after, "I'm doing this to pass my class, Sam. Nothing more."

He nods, "Okay."

You turn to get out once more, and he mumbles a quiet, "Sure."

You close your eyes, fighting to give him the reaction he's fishing for, so you just get out. You shut the door before going back to get your bags.

Sam gets out and waits for you at the front of his car, he chuckles as you glare at him, "You act like you're the only one who hates this."

"Then why did you-" you stop, letting out a groan, "I'm walking back to my dorm." As you turn, you're pulled back by the sudden grip on your bag, "Sam!"

"I didn't mean it like that. I just.." he laughs, "the withdrawal, man."

"The with-" you laugh, "You are unbelievable."

"What? I'm just being honest. Isn't the first step to recovery admitting you have a problem?" He laughs slightly and you shake your head, "That wasn't you admitting you have a problem."

He shrugs and you huff, "Can we just go inside please?" He motions, "I wasn't stopping you in the first place."

"Actually. You wouldn't let me get out of the car." You walk past him and he sighs, "I wanted you to listen to me." He walks ahead, opening the door for you and you nod walking in.

You look around as you follow him up the staircase. Your eyes move to the back of his head, quickly moving away from him as he looks back at you, "Do you want me to ta-"

"No."

"Alright. Don't say I didn't ask."

"I won't be saying anything. Trust me." You roll your eyes, stopping outside of his door as he unlocks it. He pushes it open and you walk in, honestly surprised that it's a nicely kept.

"Well, what do you think?" Sam shuts the door and you nod, "It's nice." Sam smirks, "Thank you."

You walk over to the couch, "So do you want to wor- really."

He looks up from his phone, "Yeah we can work on the project for a little bit."

You stare at him and he looks up, "Don't worry. I'm just texting Colby." You step towards him, "Um. What are you saying exactly."

"Nothing really, just that I have guest over."

"A guest." You roll your eyes, "More like hostage." He laughs and shakes his head, "Here. If you want to read them, go ahead." He tosses you his phone and you catch it, "Sam I do-"

"Read them." He walks over to his fridge, pulling out a beer, "You want one?"

You look up, shaking your head, "No, thanks." You go back to reading his messages between him and Colby and they're surprising not bad at all.

Sam is actually being nice, and not a jerk.

An unsaved number appears at the top and you laugh slightly, turning to him as you read it aloud in a higher pitched tone, "Hey Sam. It's Melina, was wondering if you'd like to take me out on a date yet."

Sam groans, "God she's annoying. Text her back something."

"Me? What do you want me to say." You stare at him and he takes a sip of his drink, "I don't really care, y/n. Just get her off my back."

You chew on the inside of your lip, debating on whether to ruin his life or not, "Okay." Your thumbs tap the screen and Sam walks over, "Whatcha sayin'?"

"Hey Melina, I don't think that's going to work considering I just tested positive for herpes."

His eyes go wide and his hands drop to his sides, "No the fuck you didn't." He leans in, sighing when he sees what you really typed, not going to happen. I'm done dating around. Have a good one.

He lets out a sigh of relief, "She's going to know that that wasn't me." He looks at you and you shrug, "So what? You wanted her off your back right?"

He laughs and nods, "Yeah. I did. Well, looks like you're in charge of texting all the girls that text me."

You roll your eyes, "I have a project to work on."

"Hey, me too. Crazy isn't it?" Sam smiles and you shake your head with a slight laugh, "Yeah. Crazy."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

"Jesus Christ, Sam." You look up from his phone, "How fucking ma- actually. Don't answer that. I don't need to know."

He looks up from his laptop and shrugs, "Sorry."

You set his phone back down and go back to typing on your computer, "Okay.. so.. I have the date, the location, and who won all on the first three slides. I'll add in.." you look at your notes, "I'll add in the commanders and leaders.."

"I have the casualties and losses along with stuff about the battle itself." He looks up from his notes and you nod, "Sounds good. Maybe we can knock this out in one night and I can go home."

You laugh, but Sam doesn't. He just gives a slight puff of air and nods, "Yeah."

You didn't dwell on it, not really letting yourself because you knew that if you gave in to him in the slightest bit, you'd end up hurt no matter what, so you just went back to typing.

You must have fell asleep while typing because you woke up a few hours later with a blanket on you, and your laptop was on the coffee table.

You slowly sit up, looking around slightly confused because for a split second, you forgot where you were.

You stretch your arms above your head, letting out a yawn before standing up. You turn around and jump when you see Sam sitting at the kitchen table, "shit."

"Oh hey, sorry. I didn't want to wake you and I couldn't sit on my bed anymore. My back was killing me." Sam looks back down at the computer.

You walk to the fridge, grabbing a water. You walk back over standing behind him as you look at his work, "Those look good."

He turns his head slightly to look back at you, "You think?"

You nod, "Yeah. I like how you have the pictures to the sides of the words." You point to the screen, "Wait, how many did you do?"

"I did seven." He leans back in his chair, "is that alright with you?"

You look at him, "That some sort of smartass jab?"

He shrugs, "It wasn't but it can be." He smirks and you roll your eyes, "Yeah, that's fine." You walk back over to the couch, grabbing your bag as you dig for a shirt and shorts, "I'm going to go change."

He nods, eyes focused on his screen. You walk into the bathroom, looking at yourself in the mirror as you slip your shirt off over your head.

You change and exit the bathroom and Sam's eyes are immediately on you, "What? You never seen a girls legs before?" You laugh, "Oh wait."

"Yeah, yeah." He shakes his head with a smirk, "You're lucky you woke up. I forgot about our deal and I was getting ready to see what Felicity was doing."

You felt some sort of jealous twinge, and you honestly wanted to puke. You knew Sam wouldn't last. You just want to stick it out so you could prove him right.

"Nice." You sit back down, back facing him and you hear him get up, "Why are you being so short?"

You shrug, "Maybe because I just woke up. Not everything is about you Sam."

"When did I say it was?" He leans on the back of the couch, "I don't think I did."

You nod, "Right. Right." You turn back to face him slightly, "Good for you, Sam. I'm proud that you didn't text one of your hoes."

"I know that's sarcasm but I'll take it." He taps the back of the couch and walks back over to the table.

You could strangle him, but at the same time, being this close to him, you wanted to just fuck him. Just so you could say you could, but also at the same time, you didn't want to be one of the girls that you ridicule for falling for him.

But you are, you just couldn't admit to it.

"If you want to go back to sleep, you can go sleep in my bed. I'm fine out here." Sam offers and you deny, "I'm fine out here, too."

He chuckles, "Sheets are clean if that's what you're worried about, sweetheart."

"Not what I'm worried about but thanks." You mumble as you type, "Did you put in about- nevermind. Found it."

You can feel him watching you. His eyes are burning holes in the back of your head.

"You okay?" You ask, "I can tell you're staring at me and it's me making me very uncomfortable."

"I beg to differ." Sam shoots back.

You look back at him, "how so?"

He bites his lip and tilts his head, "If you weren't comfortable enough already, I think you would have worn sweats and maybe a sweatshirt.." he takes a deep breath, "Not those.. shorts."

"What's wrong with my shorts?"

He shakes his head, "N-nothing. I didnt- fucking forget it."

You smirk as you turn back around, biting your lip as you know you're now getting under his skin.

Maybe you'll get lucky and he'll just kick you out.

But you found that part of you really didn't want to leave.

"Okay. I think I'm done for the night." Sam closes his laptop and yawns, "I'm going to head to bed since you don't want to take it."

"I'll be fine." You mumble and Sam walks up behind you, "I mean, it is a king size bed so.. feel free to join."

You turn your head, not realizing he was that close. You jerk your head back, "I think I'll survive on the couch."

He shrugs and stands up, "suit yourself." He walks over to the door, turning to face you, "Offer still stands."

"Is this you going through your so called withdrawal? If so, it's incredibly pathetic." You look over at him and he shrugs, "Maybe. Or maybe I just like you. Maybe that was my plan all along."

You roll your eyes, "Mm. Sure it was."

"Oh and here." He tosses you his phone, "In case anyone tries to phone be for a late night booty call."

"Will it happen?"

He nods, "Probably. There's a frat party going on so I'm sure they'll try and summon me." He smirks, "Night."

You nod, "night." You set his phone down on the couch next to you and try to focus on your slides. Sam taking his shirt off catches your attention and you close your eyes, whispering to yourself, "I hate you. I hate you. I hate you."

You crack your fingers, sighing as you set your computer on the table, "Fuck." You get up, walking around to behind the couch so you can stretch your back.

Sam's phone dings and you try to ignore it.

It dings again.

And again.

Finally, with a sigh, you bend over the couch, picking it up to read whatever sexual message you'll see this time. They're messages from a Veronica,

Sammm babyyy. Where are you? The party is almost over!

"Yeah.. it's almost four am?" You mumble to yourself as you continue reading.

Sam!!

Sam!! Wake up. I need a ride.. back to your place..

"Desperate much?" You laugh quietly and smirk as your eyes read over the last message.

You're really just going to ignore me?

You bite your lip, glancing over at an already sleeping Sam in his room and back down to the phone. Your heart starts beating faster as your thumbs type the words, Sam's busy, honey. And to be honest, I wouldn't text him again.

You drop his phone down after not giving it another thought with pressing send, honestly slightly embarrassed, "I'll have to remember to delete those." You tell yourself, "Okay." You reach for your laptop, but his phone dings again.

At this point you're too nosey to let it go, and you were kind of having fun with it now. You pick up his phone, smirking when you see it's Veronica.

Who is this?

Seriously.. why are you with Sam? Who are you?

You roll your eyes, reminding yourself that you're to get these girls off his back. He wants to start over and since he worked hard on his half of the project, it's the least you could do, right?

But why?

Your eyes scan over the phone, rereading what you typed out, it doesn't matter who I am. Sam doesn't need you anymore.

You hit send and stare at the phone with the urge to go through it. You shrug, swiping out of the thread and looking at the messages. You're shocked when you see that Sam himself hasn't answered very many messages.

He's left them all on read.

You raise your brows as you take a quiet breath, the hidden folder in his phone will really show who he is. You click on it, surprised he doesn't have any passcode or anything.

You're even more surprised that there's nothing in there. Usually guys like him have nudes of multiple different girls, but Sam doesn't.

You continue to snoop, going through it all and if you didn't know Sam, you'd think that he was actually faithful because there's nothing in his phone.

You shake your head, realizing what you're doing and you swipe out of everything and set his phone down.

You close your lap top, setting it on the table before you lay back down, pretty much forcing yourself to fall back to sleep because the thought of liking Sam only made you mad.

When you wake up, there's a coffee and a bagel sitting next to your computer. You smile slightly and reach out, grabbing the coffee to take a sip.

You grab your phone, seeing you have a text from Sam, Went out for a run. Nothing more I promise.

You laugh slightly, typing back, okay.

You set your phone down, grabbing your computer and opening it. You look over the slide show and shake your head, you were actually surprised Sam is sticking to the deal.

You continue to work on your half, completely in your own little world until you remember you didn't delete those texts you sent back to that girl.

"Oh shit." You freeze, "Fuck." You lay a hand on your forehead, "No, no, no."

You hear the door open and you take a deep breath before turning around, "How was the run?"

Sam nods, "It was good actually. I ran without stopping to talk anyone, which was.. weird actually."

"I'm sure." You laugh slightly, sipping on your coffee. Sam walks over, his grey shirt damp from sweat, "How's the coffee?"

You glance over at him, nodding, "Good. Really good."

"That's good." He chuckles and sighs, "I'm going for a shower." He tosses you his phone down on the couch without another word and walks into the bathroom.

As soon as the door shuts, his phone is in your hands and lo and behold, the messages between you and Victoria are still there, probably very much read by Sam.

You curse yourself mentally, mainly because it makes you sound like you and Sam are together and that isn't what you want.

Then why make it sound like it?

You bite your lip, eyes scanning over the text threads. Your eyes go wide as soon as you see y/f/n, "what the fuck?"

You brace yourself as you go to click on the message thread but you hear the shower turn off and you set his phone down just as the bathroom door opens. You look over and he peaks his head out, "Can you grab me a towel? There's one in the basket in my room."

You nod, getting up and keeping your eyes on his room. You walk in, looking around as you find the basket. You pull the towel from the mound of clothes and walk over to the bathroom, "Here ya go."

He smiles and takes the towel, "Thank you very much."

"Welcome." You walk back over to the couch, pulling your laptop onto your lap and what you dreaded, starts to come to life.

"So.." Sam walks out, towel around his waist and hair dark and messy. You had to fight to keep your eyes off of him, "So." You shift around, clicking on a blank slide.

"I have to thank you."

You look over at him, "For what?"

"Helping me."

"With what?"

He chuckles and crosses his arms over his chest, "You know what.. do I really need to explain it to you?"

You tilt your head, smirking slightly, "Yeah, I think you may have to."

He places on hand on the back of the couch, leaning his weight onto it as he sighs, "I wanted to thank you for being so willing to help me."

"Help you with..." you motion your hand for him to keep going and he laughs, "Now you're pushing it." He turns and walk into his room, shutting the door behind him.

You glance down at his phone, shaking your head as you avoid looking through his and y/f/n's text thread.

The door opens back up and he walks out in a pair of shorts, "So did you study for that math final?"

You shake your head, "No I wasn't sure if I could leave or not.." you laugh slightly, "..but you leaving this morning told me I could so I'll probably meet y/f/n later or something."

"Mm." He nods as he walks over to get his coffee, "if that falls through, I'm pretty good with math so."

"Oh you'd help me?" You roll your eye, "I somehow.. don't believe that."

He leans against the counter, "Hit me."

You squint your eyes, "forty five times eight."

He smirks, "Three sixty."

You frown, "That was.. too easy." You sigh and shake your head, "Okay. Sixty six times... fourteen."

He pauses for a moment, closes his eyes as he thinks, "nine... twenty... four." He opens them and smiles at you, "I can do this all day."

"I gotta go." You stand up, grabbing your backpack..

"You're going to leave, wearing that?" Sam asks, eyes moving up and down your body. He chuckles, "Whatever suits your fancy, I guess."

You laugh to cover up how flustered you actually were, "I guess I'm just really worried about this test."

"I can help you. Be your study buddy."

You roll your eyes, digging out a pair of leggings and a t-shirt, "You're not my.. study buddy, Sam."

"Could be a whole lot more if you let me."

He said it quietly, so you didn't think you were supposed to hear, or did you?

"Did you say something?" You turn to look at him and he shakes his head, "No?" You nod, "Okay. Well I'm going to go change.." you point to the bathroom and slowly walk into it.

You close the door and shake your head, thinking to yourself why he would say something like that.

Probably just to get under your skin. Sam doesn't really want you. He's said it himself, he's been in everything but you.

Okay, maybe that's an exaggeration, but still.

Your phone dings and you look down, "Fuck." You sigh as your friend's message, telling you she can't make it to study.

You reply, alright. Thanks for letting me know.

You open the door after changing and walk out, "Soo.."

"She canceled didn't she?" Sam chuckles and shakes his head, "Should have just said yes in the beginning."

You roll your eyes, wanting to say he probably knew because he's secretly fucking her, but you but your tongue, "Yeah, I guess."

"If you don't want to study with me, you don't have to I lm ju-"

"No. I could use you." You didn't know how your words sounded until Sam makes his remark, "Yeah you could." He smirks and nods his head and you laugh slightly, "No, sa-" you sigh, accepting defeat, "Yeah, I walked right into that one."

"Sure did." He smiles and walks over, grabbing your math book, "What do you need to know?"

I need to know why you're talking to y/f/n, you think as you sit down, "I'm guessing I need to know everything."

"Good thing we have all day then, right?" Sam opens the book, "Okay. So anything from chapter one on?"

You nod, "Yep."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

After a few hours of answering the questions Sam comes up with, and catching a few glimpses of him staring at you, you let out a sigh, "Okay. I need to eat. I forgot to eat last night and that bagel, although it was good, it's not enough to hold me over."

Sam closes the book, sighing back, "I totally forgot I was hungry. I got so caught up in this book." He laughs and you smile, "I can't stand that book."

"More than me?" Sam smirks and you laugh, "You know what.. maybe a little bit more than you."

He lays a hand on his chest and sighs, "Wow. That's so nice."

"Shut up. You're working your way back." You laugh and stretch, "So. Late lunch?"

"You mean.." he looks around and back to you, "You want to be seen out in public with me?" He point to himself and you shrug, "I can just go myself and bring it back?"

He stands up, "Let me get a shirt. I'll drive."

You laugh as he gets up, and you grab your laptop, looking over your almost completed final.

"Looks good don't it?" Sam asks walking back out, "we did good."

You nod, "we sure did. I do have to say.. you shocked me, Golbach."

"Why's that?"

You shut your computer and look over at him, "I didn't think you'd do it."

"Have some faith in me, y/n. I know I have a bad reputation, but.." he shrugs, "I don't want to be the campus fuck boy anymore."

You stare at him, a million things running through your mind trying to slip off your tongue.

"What?" He asks, "You don't believe me do you?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then what?" He crosses his arms and you sigh, "Let's just go get food. I'm getting hangry."

"I can tell." He snickers and you push his shoulder as you walk by him. He lets out an, "Ouch!"

"Please. That didn't hurt." You laugh and look at him, "Do you want it to?"

He shrugs, "I don't know, I might like it." He winks and you shake your head slightly, "Do- no." You laugh and grab your bag, "Come on."

He follows you out the door and down the steps, "Where do you wanna go?"

"I kinda wanna go to McDonald's.. I've been wanting some nuggets." You look at him as you wait for him to unlock the car, "If that's okay with you."

You mentally smacked yourself, why do you suddenly care about what's okay with him and what's not?

"Whatever you want, sweetheart." He unlocks the car and gets in as you do, "I was actually going to say the same thing."

"Yeah?" You buckle up and look at him. He nods, "Yeah, actually." He starts driving and after a minutes, he laughs, "So. I have to ask.."

"Oh god, what?”

He rubs his chin and glances over at you, "How did you come up with the response to Veronica?"

"Oh.. god." You laugh and cover your face, "Can we not.. fuck, I forgot to delete them."

"No, no. Now why would you delete them?" He chuckles, "I thought it was a pretty solid response, y/n."

"It makes it sound like we're together." You roll your eyes and he shrugs, "So what?"

"So what?" You repeat, "I just-"

"You don't want to be labeled a whore. I know." He sounds annoyed and you sigh, "Sam. I didn't-"

"No. Actually, I'm glad I brought this up because I wanted to tell you. I've ever slept with four girls since being here." He looks at you and you chew on your lip, "Really?"

He nods, "you were just going off of what you heard other people talking about." He shrugs, "I'm good looking. People like me. I'm instantly labeled a fuck boy because I like to party and I'm always seen with girls."

"I'm sorry, Sam. I-"

He cuts you off, "Has it ever occurred to you that maybe.. there's someone I want, but they don't want me? Because I can assure you, that that is possible."

You stay quiet and he sighs, "Sorry.. I just.." he runs a hand through his hair and you hesitate but you lay a hand on his shoulder, "No you're fine."

He glances at your hand and sighs before he grabs it, interlocking his fingers with yours.

You're shocked at first, but you let it happen, "Did you sleep with y/f/n?"

He looks at you and laughs, "What?"

"When I was replying to the girls who- wait.. why did you hype yourself up like a fuck boy if you really aren't?"

"We can come back to that. Why do you think I'm sleeping with y/f/n?" He laughs slightly, "Did you not read the messages?"

You shake your head, "No, I didn't."

"Could have." He shrugs, "I was asking her about you."

"Me?" You raise your brows, "Why me?"

He smirks and lifts your hand in his, "This isn't enough of a clue?" He shakes his head, "Maybe I need to spell things out for you."

You smile and sigh, "I just.. I didn't want to do anything I wasn't sure you'd be okay with."

"You swore you hated me. Up and down, side to side. Called me, pretty much a man whore and told me I treat women like objects.. and I'm still here. I'm pretty sure you can hit me with a car and I'll come crawling back."

"Sam." You laugh and he laughs, "I'm serious. Since our sophomore year.. I just thought I'd let you get to know me yourself but.."

You cut him off, "I listened to the rumors in the wind, rather than.. yeah.. sorry."

He shrugs, "I know you don't trust me right off the bat.. I know it's hard but.. why do you think I gave you my whole ass phone."

"Okay.. I did go through it." You look at him and he pretends to be shocked. You laugh, "But that's when I hated you."

"What are you saying? You don't hate me anymore?" Sam smirks and you tilt your head, "Do I have any reason to?"

"Unless you're mad about the four girls, then no." He laughs and you shrug, "You did what you needed to do to get me off your mind."

He sucks air through his teeth, "Yeah, about that."

Your face drops and your heart picks up, oh god, you think, he lied about everything, "what about what?"

"Even when I knew you didn't want me.. I couldn't stop thinking about you."

"Shut up." You laugh slightly and shake your head. He squeezes your hand, "I'm serious y/n. You may be the boring girl who doesn't party and stays back at her dorm to study instead to some people, but to me.. you're the best kind of girl."

His words make your stomach flutter, "Oh." You laugh slightly, "I thought this was going to be a completely different conversation."

He smiles slightly, "I kept up the act because I wasn't sure how this was going to go and plus.. I like getting you going."

"Really?" You squint at him and shake your head, " I didn't notice."

"Really? Hmm. I gotta step up my game." He laughs and rolls the window down before he starts to order.

You tell him what you want and wait for him to finish.

"Thank you." Sam pulls around and lets go of your hand, "Don't go far." He smirks up at you as he reaches into his shorts to pull out his wallet.

"Do you want me to pay yo-"

"Nope." Sam cuts you off with a smirk and you smile, "Thank you." He nods, "Not a problem at all."

"So.." you pause as he pays, speaking back up when he pulls forward, "Question."

"Answer." He looks over at you and you laugh slightly, "the comment.. you made about rarely bringing girls back to your apartment.."

"Honestly. There was one girl there but she was a girl who came with Colby, so she wasn't even my guest, well I mean she was but she wasn't.. mine? I think." He laughs and you nod, "No, I get it."

He sighs, "Good. You make me nervous."

"I make you nervous?" You laugh slightly and he shrugs, "also why I kept up the show. I couldn't let you know you affect my badass exterior."

You roll your eyes, "Please. I always thought you were an asshole."

He laughs and thanks the person at the window before driving off, "Well, I can be."

"There you go. That's a start." You smirk and he rolls his eyes, "Whatever, let's just get you back so you can fill that pretty little head with knowledge for tomorrow."

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·

As you wrap up the studying, you stretch your arms above your head, "I feel pretty good about tomorrow."

Sam nods, "Yeah?"

You nod, "Thank you for helping me."

"Does that mean I'm your official, study buddy?" He winks and you smirk, "Maybe. That depends."

"Depends on what?"

You bite your lip and smile, "On if you're going to make me sleep on this couch again."

Sam scoffs, "The offer to sleep in the bed has been there since yesterday." He stands up, "C'mon." You stand up, taking his hand in yours and follow him into the room.

"No funny business." You joke and he holds his hands up, "Not unless you want there to be." He smirks and you pull the blanket back, sitting out to swing your legs onto the bed, "What a gentleman."

He gets in next to you after slipping his shirt off, "what can I say?"

"You can say, Sam, you are such a good guy, I don't know why I ever listened to the rumors about you. You're also a very good looking guy too." He laughs and you sigh, "Yeah, yeah, whatever you say."

"I'll take it." He chuckles and lays on his back, arm behind his head as you lay on your side with your back facing him. Your eyes can the wall, mind racing about everything that's happened.

"Sam."

"Y/n."

You bite your lip and roll over to face him. He lays on his side and brushes hair from your face, "What's up?"

"Why didn't you tell me anything sooner?" You look up at him and he shrugs, "Your friend told me to stay away because of the image you had against me."

"But she.." you sigh and shake your head, "Nothing.. goodnight." You go to turn away but his hand on your hip stops you, "What?"

You look back at him, "She told me that I needed to lose my imagine of you and at least I got stuck with you as a partner instead of Nevin."

"She didn't tell you that we texted a few times? Always about you, trust me. You can read them if y-"

You cut him off, "No it's okay. And no.. she didn't tell me."

Sam raises his brows, "Sounds like she's jealous."

"Jealous? Over what?"

"Over me, liking you and not her." Sam smirks, "oh, and because I can do this." He leans in, gently pressing his lips to yours and you freeze.

He pulls away, "Sorry.. too soon?"

You stare at him for a few seconds, "No." you lean back in, pressing your lips to his, "I've actually wanted to see what all the hype was about anyway."

"Doesn't live up to it?" Sam smirks and you sigh, "Yeah, I say it does.”

He smiles, "Alright." His eyes scan over your face and he sighs, "Go to bed."

"You go to bed." You shoot back and he chuckles, "I'll go to bed when you go to bed."

"Fine." You roll over, lying closer to him and he smiles, "Get over here." He lays his arm over your waist and pulls you to him, "you can take my car tomorrow."

"Really?" You bite your lip, "You trust me enough with that thing?" He laughs and nods, resting his chin on your shoulder, "I trust you."

The next morning, you wake up before Sam, anxious about your final. As you're sitting on the edge of the bed, going over problems in your head, you feel a hand gently drag down your back, "You're going to ace this test, y/n."

You look over your shoulder at a still half asleep Sam, "You think?"

"Mhm. I know you will because I helped you study." He smirks and you push him, "I'll thank you when I pass." You smile and get up, checking your phone, "Oh shit. I'm running late."

You quickly get around, pecking Sam on the lips before rushing out the door. You throw your stuff into the car and get in, taking off towards campus.

As soon as you park, you run towards the building and y/f/n stops you, "Whoa, hey y/n. Where the hell have you been?"

You stop and point, "we gotta go. We're going to be late."

She shakes her head, "Professor Fritz postponed it for a half hour. He's running late himself, didn't you check your email?"

You pull your phone out, "No I didn't." You click on the new email that was delivered twenty minutes ago, "Shit. Well. Okay." You sit down on the bench and she sits down next to you, "So you gonna answer my question?"

"About where I've been?" You look over at her and she nods, "uh yeah. That would be the question."

You laugh slightly, "I've been with Sam working on our project."

"You've been with Sam? What do you mean?" She tilts her head and you shrug, "I've been crashing on his couch so we can knock it out as soon as possible, what's the big deal?"

"I just.. the big deal is.. you couldn't stand him three days ago and now you're sleeping on his couch?" She scoffs, "You hate him, y/n."

"What happened to me needing to get over the stupid reason as to why I hate him? You were so hell bent on me being okay with Sam?" You stare at her and she shakes her head, "That's before I knew just how much of an asshole he actually is. You were right."

"Actually. I was wrong."

"What do you mean?"

"Why didn't you tell me that he texted you about me?" You watch as her face goes pale and you can visibly see her stumbling over finding what to say, "I-I don't know.. I don't know what you're talking about."

"I seen the texts, y/f/n, and Sam also told me about them. Why didn't you just tell me that he likes me?" You wait for her to answer, but she doesn't so you sigh, "Look.. I get it."

"Get what?" She snaps and you shrug, "You like Sam. Right?"

"Who wouldn't?" She laughs, "I mean.. yeah. I guess I do, or did. I was just jealous I guess? I don't know." She shakes her head and looks at you, "Wait."

You raise your brows and she points, "Isn't that Sam's car?" She looks from the car to you, "Why are you driving it?"

"He told me I could. He also helped me study when you bailed on me."

"Sorry about that." She sighs, "I'm sorry about not telling you about Sam.. I guess I just let my jealousy of him wanting you instead get to me."

You thought for a moment, debating on whether or not you felt her apology was genuine, "I just.. I wouldn't have done that to you."

"No I know. And I knew that I just.. I'm sorry."

You see the doors open up and you stand up, "I gotta go." You turn, walking towards the now open doors.

During the test, Sam was heavy on your mind.

How he looked while helping you study for these questions.

His smile when you got one right.

His eyes, how they watched you as you thought about your answers.

The way his hands felt on your body when he held you all night long.

You blinked, taking a deep breath as you went back to trying to focus on your test, but it was hard. The fact that Sam really wasn't the popular fuckboy you thought he was all because he was too scared to be rejected by you, makes you really want him more.

"Thirty minutes."

You sighed quietly at the professors warning and made yourself crack down on finishing this final.

Once time was up and tests were collected, the professor stands up from his desk, "You should all know whether you passed or failed within an hour. You're dismissed."

You grab your bag, digging out Sam's keys before getting up. Y/f/n stops in front of you, "Hey wait."

"I gotta get back. I still have to finish my other final." You look up at her and she sighs, "How can I make this up to you?"

You shrug, "When I think of it, I'll let you know."

And with that, you head out to the car, making your way back to Sam's apartment. You never thought y/f/n would do something like this.

It honestly felt like a stab in the back and you didn't know how to feel other than mad.

You make your way inside and open the door. Sam looks at you from the couch, "Hey. How'd it go?"

You smirk slightly as you shut the door, "The part where I tested or the part where I called y/f/n out on being a backstabbing friend?"

He switches the tv off and raises his eyebrows, "You really called her out?"

You nod, "She said that she was jealous over you wanting me instead."

"She wanted me?" He laughs slightly, "Ah. I see."

You walk over and sit down next to him, "Yeah. She said she let her jealous rage come between us. She apologized and then asked how she can make it up to me.."

"What did you say?" Sam reaches over and twirls a piece of your hair. You sigh, "I told her when I think of something I'd let her know and then I left."

He shakes his head, "She messed up."

You nod, "She sure did. I actually kinda like you."

"Kinda? Yikes, okay." Sam laughs and you smile, "you're not so bad after all. I just don't understand why she would tell me I need to get over it if she was keeping how you felt away from me." You shake your head, "I don't know. She should have known the truth was going to come out sooner or later."

"Glad it was sooner." Sam smiles and pulls you to him, "Gimme a kiss."

You peck his lips and he shakes his head, "Um no. I said a kiss." He smiles as you smile and you lay your hand on his cheek as your lips gently move with his.

You lean back, "How was that?"

He shrugs, "It was kinda alright." He smirks and you push his shoulder, "Rude."

He laughs and brushes your arm, "It was amazing."

You smile and look down as your phone goes off, "Oh. That's so early." You look up at Sam and reach for your laptop, "My test results are in."

You click into your email and take a deep breath, "Okay." You wait for it to load and Sam moves over next to you, watching at the circle spins around and around, "I hate that it takes forever."

You nod, "Yeah, me too." You nervously chew on your nail and shove your computer into Sam's lap, "I can't look."

"Okay. I gotcha. Hang on." He lays a hand on your knee, "Still loa- oh. Okay. Here we go." His eyes move down over the screen and you hold your breath, waiting for him to deliver the news.

He looks up at you and a slow smile grows on his face, "You passed."

"I-I.. passed?" You ask in disbelief. He turns the laptop around and nods, "You sure did."

Without any hesitation, you lean forward, crashing your lips into his.

And it's an instant heat.

He moves the laptop, pulling you onto his lap fully, "What are you doing?" He mumbles between kissing you. You lean back slightly, "i guess I just really want to know what you're like in bed."

He chuckles and nods, "Yeah?"

"Do you not want to?" You go to move off of him but he stops you, grinding his hips up and he watches as your lips part, "I didn't say I didn't want to."

His hand slides to the back of your neck and pulls you down, closing the space between you. He swings you over, laying you down as his body moves on top of yours.

Your legs wrap around his waist and your hand runs through his hair, "Please." You whimper quietly as he kisses down your neck, "Sam."

"Please Sam what, baby?" He leans up, smirking down at you. You pout, "You know what."

He leans up, biting his lip as he undoes your pants and your hips raise as he pulls them down, throwing them onto the floor before he takes off his own shirt and works his shorts down.

Your eyes scan up and down his body as he's a lot hotter than you thought.

"Like what you see?"

You blink a few times, breaking the stare from his torso as you look up at him with a slight laugh, "Yeah actually. I do."

You sit up, taking off your shirt before laying back. Sam's brow twitches and he sighs, "Yeah, I like what I'm seeing too."

He leans down, cock pushing against your panty covered pussy and you whine, "Sam.. please." You look at him, "Fuck me."

He hooks his fingers in the band of your panties and pulls them down, quickly discarding his boxers and his body is quick to hover above yours.

All of the hateful things you thought about Sam are gone, right in this moment.

It was just you and him.

He was all you needed.

He slowly pushes his cock into you and lets out a groan that mixes perfectly with your moan, “Sam.”

His hand grips your outer thigh as it wraps around his waist and he leans down to kiss you. You rest a hand on his cheek, “You feel so good.”

He smiles against your lips, “You feel even better.” He starts to slowly pull out and thrust back in, groaning as his pace builds up.

You clench around him, moaning and gasping as you feel so close to breaking, “S-so close.”

“You can do it, come on baby.” He kisses your neck, biting and nipping, “Cum for me.”

You wrap an arm around his neck, clinging to him as your body tenses and twitches, “Fuck. Fuck. F-fu-“ you moan loudly, digging your nails into his back and dragging up.

He groans as the pain from your nails almost sends him right along with you.

“Fucking hell, y/n.” He roughly kisses you as he fucks you through your high, “I-I’m go-“ he moans into your mouth, gasping as his thrusts grow sloppy, “Shit.”

He pulls out and you feel him spill over your stomach. You cup his cheeks, kissing him as he relaxes.

He leans up, looking down at his mess on you and he sighs, "You look so fucking hot like this." His hand drags down your thigh and you bite your lip, "I don't have any plans."

"I'm taking that as a challenge." He chuckles and you shrug, "Take it however just as long as we're naked in that bed."

"Come on." He grabs your hand and pulls you up, "Well clean up later." He winks and drags you into his bedroom, shutting the door with a slam.

.·:*¨ ✘ ¨*:·.

I just want to give a huge thank you for all the patience. December has NOT been easy for me whatsoever, but the constant support and nice messages mean the absolute world to me. So I thank each and every one of you for that. <3

Likes and reblogs are appreciated

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angi-writes-filth · 10 months

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An art student's ramble about Lobo from Puss In Boots

As y'all know I'm a visual artist so ofc I'm aware that a HUGE part of creating visual content is intentional. Like, chances are if you see something being made a certain way, there was thought behind it. There are references being made and/or this was done with a specific intent in mind.

So ofc the moment I saw THIS

I was like.... why?

Why why why?? Why the pose? Why is it so symmetric? Why the balance in all the scenes and his figure and design WHY??

(rambles about visuals, possibly grotesque imagery and talks about death, various gods, and tons of pictures BEWARE)

Then I realized HOW MANY REFERENCES to other Gods/omens of death The Wolf has??? Like:

Death. Straight up.

(I don't think I need to explain myself for this one...)

Kinda cool how they decided to include a more "scythe-looking weapon" at the end, only when Lobo decides to get serious. Kinda like he's becoming more "Grim Reaper-y" when he stops playing around. More on DW's choice of weapons for our edgy furry friend later honhonhon.

Big Bad Wolf

The universal, historical omen of death. Present in many stories like Little Red Riding Hood and The Three Little Pigs to name a few. Always the ultimate symbol of evil (fun fact: Most old bedtime stories we know today are passed from generation to generation; by the time these were created and put to use, it's most likely they were either made to warn children not to wander off into the woods for fear of being eaten predators, or for the risk of running into criminals shunned out of society and who normally retreated into the forests since they had no other place to live and couldn't leave the fiefs.)

Wolves are also predators that chase their preys, and exhaust them before going in for the kill. Much how like he does during the movie.

Also, it's possible Lobo isn't even the true form of Death in this universe. It may very well be the form he adapted to scare off Puss in particular; because canine v.s. kitties amirite?

(this could also be a huge stretch but the dark patch of fur on his face reminds some people of a bird, which could be interpreted as a crow. i personally think it's just a design element to attract more attention to the face/make his eyes stand out more but i included it cuz why not).

El Silbón/El Silbador

"El Silbón" (The Whistler; also known as "El Silbador" in Colombia) is a legend from Venezuelan origin of a young man condemned to carry the bones of his father, whom he himself killed.

It is said if his whistle is to be heard, the more far away it is, the closer you are to your death.

Could also explain why the hell the Wolf is Latino LMAO. (Hearing him talk full sentences in Spanish scared me to Death haha get it? d-death)

Charon's Obol

The bribe for Charon, the ferryman who carried the soul through the river that divides life and death.

Osiris

This was one of the things I found interesting the most lmao. Like, I knew that pose reminded me of something...

I've read many people attribute this to Anubis, but from my research, it's actually not. This pose was used in sarcophagus by Pharaohs to resemble the God of the Underworld and Judge of the Dead, Osiris. What Osiris holds to his chest are a crook and flail.

Wikipedia offers the following explanation:

Traditionally crossed over the chest when held, they probably represented the ruler as a shepherd whose beneficence is formidably tempered with might. In the interpretation of Toby Wilkinson, the flail used to goad livestock, was a symbol of the ruler's coercive power: as shepherd of his flock, the ruler encouraged his subjects as well as restrained them.

AND NOW WHAT I ACTUALLY WANTED TO TALK ABOUT!!!

Lobo's Symmetry

Okay this is a purely personal take, but am I the only one who found it incredibly interesting how balanced and symmetric his design is?

A rule of thumb when designing interesting-looking characters is to say fuck you to symmetry and balance. It usually works for a much more exciting silhouette and generates more visual interest. However, in Wolf's case, they made a ton of effort to make him look extremely symmetric.

His face doesn't have any distinct marks that separate one side from the other.

His cloak is a triangular shape that converges somewhat in the middle (the only element that breaks the overall perfect sillhouette).

And they went out of their way to divide the Grim Reaper's signature scythe into two: Which he usually holds to his sides, almost at the same height. Like, why would they? Why bother to do all that?

WELL WHY DON'T WE ASK OUR KINGS OF SIMMETRY THEMSELVES, HUH?

T h e E g y p t i a n s (insert papyrus font here)

Symmetry is usually seen as the ultimate form of perfection. It is unachievable by most human standards, so it is notably known for causing feelings of detachment to a figure, even if it is recognizably human.

If you had a person who was entirely, perfectly symmetrical on both sides of their face, changes are, the uncanny valley effect would be triggered. Try grabbing a picture of a person's face, flip one of its sides and connect it with the other....... Looks weird, right?

The uncanny valley effect is normally used to depict images of deities and the like, because it usually instills the most literal form of 'fear of God'. Something that is so perfect that, by its presence alone, it makes you feel awkward.

The same principle is used by architects in churches even today: The more other-wordly, detached but still recognizably human you get, the more a person is made to feel powerless and awkward. Thusly, easier to control.

In summary, Wolf's design is made to look as symmetric and balanced as possible because he's supposed to feel other-worldly, even before we find out who he is. He's supposed to resemble something unachievable by human standards because he's not human. He's supposed to look out of place because he's Death. Straight up.

Every aspect of Lobo's design is sooo carefully thought out I just LOVE IT. Like have you noticed how his eyes stop giving off light during the scene we find out he's actually DEATH???

I JUST-- I LOVE THE WORK DREAMWORKS PUT IN THIS CHARACTER. I LOVE HOW HE'S JUST SIX MINUTES INTO A 1 HOUR 40 MINUTES MOVIE AND HE SOMEHOW STILL STOLE THE SHOW. I LOVE HOW YOU SPEND EVERY MINUTE GLUED TO THE SCREEN, ABSOLUTELY TERRIFIED OF WHEN YOU'LL HEAR THAT STUPID WHISTLE NEXT.

Edit: I don't understand why, but Tumblr is fucking with the formatting and I've been trying to fix it, but I can't. It's genuinely upsetting me lmao but yeah. I promise it looks better when it's in my drafts but the moment I save it, it justttttt does whatever it wants. I'm so sorry! Edit: I THINK I FIXED IT GUYS say THANK YOU to fumbling with HTML, fucking everything right up to the point where the post itself doesn't know what to do and gives up with my ass like "OKAY OKAY I'LL FIX THIS MYSELF GOD"

#I'm not a furry BUT #That's the worst sentence I've ever written in my life but HEAR ME OUT OKAY #I'm not a furry but I'd LOVE to rub Lobo's belly #HE LOOKS LIKE A DOGGYYYYYY!!#He triggers my monkey brain who sees a fluffy canine-like creature and thinks OHHHH WHO'S A GOOD BOOOOYYY //intense belly rubs #Makes me wanna scratch behind his ears when they flop around after he removes his hood HE LOOKS SO CUTEEEE #When he's not like....... Looking into my soul through the screen that is #dreamworks #dreamworks animation #puss in boots #puss in boots 2 #puss in boots the last wish #puss in boots death #puss in boots wolf #puss in boots lobo #angi rambles filth #No one's gonna read this shit I already know #But I needed to get all this out of my system #And I don't wanna spam my friend Lunxi's DMs even though it's HER HUSBAND I'm gushing about #DEADLYROCKET SHIPPER HASTA LA MUERTE ÑAÑAAÑÑAÑA

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jpitha · 6 months

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You have to understand.

At least at first, I didn’t mean to do it. I had just gotten out of College, a kid with a degree in History and an eye watering amount of debt. I made the mistake of telling the professor I did early 21st century historical reenactments for my summer job and he let me take on a titanic amount of debt for historical realism. I’m not sure who I owe the money to, since we live in a post scarcity society, but I sure worry about repaying it, so I have that going for me. Extra points for realism.

After I graduated - with an ulcer from stress worrying about the debt, another point for realism! - I was bumming around the orbital looking for a way to earn some quick cash and I realized how I could put my degree to use. Everyone has everything provided for them by the government because - after the Unpleasantness - we figured out that was easier and cheaper than giving everyone on the planet a gun.

But that means that everyone has mostly forgotten how to keep an eye out for scams. Who is going to scam you anyway when you all have the same access to cheap and easy housing, food, and Space Cocaine?

People who have mountains of debt due to historical accuracy, that’s who.

I set up shop right outside the exit from Customs on the station. Rubes-er People from all over the Galaxy would come, hellbent on seeing the sights of my planet and before they could hit up the Cøffee Haüs they would find me.

I started small; ran a couple of three card monte tables, but without a partner, convincing people they could win without them actually winning was tough. I hacked a janitorbot into being my assistant and soon enough I would have a crowd watching.

This, while effective was incredibly boring, so I changed to my plan B and just started making fake supplements. For maximum compatibility across all of the galactic species, mine were pure carbon (to absorb toxins you see). This increased who I could sell too without worrying (too much) about inadvertently poisoning anyone.

A few people were sad I moved away from scamming people with cards, but they became my first ‘partners’ in selling my supplement. I had to actually explain how a Ponzi scheme worked though, nobody remembered. I told them about how so long as they found more suckers underneath them, they wouldn’t be left holding the bag and it took off like an oxygen accelerated fire.

There was also an oxygen accelerated fire, but that can’t be traced back to me.

Three weeks later, I was the richest human in the Galaxy. Honesty, I didn’t even know where everyone even got the money, I thought we had eliminated it, but here I am, rich as hell. I feel a little bad about it, but if I admit the whole thing was a ploy to pay off my student loans, I worry that they’ll turn on me.

I still haven’t paid off my loans either. I don’t think I can swing the payments and the payments on my Super Dreadnought. Did you know they’ll build anyone one so long as you put the deposit down?

Anyway, do you want to get in on an incredible deal on the low effort world of supplement sales?

#writing #sci fi writing #jpitha #humans are deathworlders #humans are space oddities #humans are space orcs #humans are space capybaras #humans are space australians

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just-late-roman-republic-things · 7 months

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Things I watch out for when considering if a Roman history blog/community/media might have fascist leanings:

"Ironic" jokes that demean groups of people. These are often a cover for normalizing real prejudice against those groups.

Various dogwhistles and hate symbols. Also, check out the early warning signs of fascism.

Glorification of the military or the empire's size. It's one thing to be interested in a subject, but fascists tend to ignore the many problems of Rome's military and government, like corruption, mistreatment of veterans, abuse toward non-Roman people, and the occasional genocide.

Justifying historical oppression or abuse. This is different from merely explaining or trying to understand something. In case someone simply worded something poorly, I look at their additional posts or ask for clarification. If there's a pattern of downplaying/excusing oppression, that's a bad sign.

Power fantasies. Does a person (or community) seem to identify with the conquerors and overlords, because of their power? A person making jokes about Cicero's shitty poetry, or Augustus wearing platform shoes, is probably here for a different reason than someone talking about "putting the barbarians in their place."

Ignoring women's experiences, queer history, slaves and working-class experiences, and cultural diversity. At best this could just be a newbie who hasn't gotten around to those topics yet, which is fine. Learning takes time. But if a community, historian, or professionally published work makes Rome look like it's composed solely of rich white cishet guys...there is a problem.

Flattening history into Romans vs. outsiders. "Us vs. them" themes, also seen as "civilization vs. barbarians," or "virtue vs. moral decline/degeneracy," is endemic to bigoted worldviews. Not only is it demeaning toward other cultures, it also erases how multicultural and changeable Roman identity was over time.

Also, any modern person who seriously attributes Rome's fall to "moral decline" or "degeneracy" is either deeply ignorant or using a dogwhistle for homophobia, antisemitism and racism. Also, using "barbarian" or "savage" unironically.

Be extra alert for antisemitism. Shit like justifying Hadrian's actions, bringing up Jews when discussing Roman debt problems, or idolizing Vespasian or Titus. The Romans did a lot of bad shit in Judaea, and sometimes those stories attract antisemites today.

Use of the past to justify present-day harm or anger. Fascists and racists tend to get attached to "tradition" or "the good old ways" - or what they think is tradition - believing that this makes their bigotry more "normal" instead of "bizarre, hateful and reactionary." But just because something was common in the ancient world doesn't mean it's a good idea today.

There's a lot of anger and bitterness in fascist communities in general, in fact. Many people fall into the "alt-right pipeline" because their personal lives are deeply troubled, and those places give them someone to blame and feel superior to. If hanging out in a community seems to be making you angrier, more suspicious, or looking down on certain kinds of people, think carefully about whether this is a good community to be in.

And finally...fascists aren't all that interested in history. They care about their myth of good guys vs. evil outsiders, and they warp history to fit into that narrative. They might like the aesthetics, or symbols, or idolize a few famous dudes or battles. But rarely do they know, or care, about how Roman society worked, or how it changed over time, or anything less "glorious." Rarely do they actually want to learn or put in effort. My favorite example of "fascist laziness" is Mussolini's terrible film about Scipio Africanus, in which you can see telephone wires and the extras wearing wristwatches.

Feel free to add to this list. I am not an expert at spotting this stuff, and I probably missed some things. But I figured this might be a good starting point for others, too. Don't use this list to make "callouts" or harass people - it's usually more effective to block, avoid, and report extremists than to give them more visibility.

Conversely, a great way to protect yourself from falling into the alt-right pipeline is to learn more about how diverse the Roman world was! Check out studies of ancient women, disabilities, queer people, and decolonizing the classics! Not only will they broaden your horizons, they're also fascinating in their own right.

#jlrrt speaks #ancient rome #roman history #racism #the alt-right pipeline #fascism #bigotry #things to whack racists with #jlrrt essays

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bbygirl-aemond · 1 year

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what would you think would happen if the greens just let rhaenyra sit on the throne

at a minimum, alicent's boys would have all been killed.

okay now that i've grabbed your attention, let me explain, and i promise i'll be able to make this entire argument without ever claiming rhaenyra is a bad person who wants to kill her family! the fact is that rhaenyra's rule was always going to face dangerous levels of backlash, because it threatened the lords of westeros's own claims to power in two major ways. as a reminder, westeros is closer to an empire consisting of autonomous kingdoms than a dictatorship, and the lords of westeros retain much more power than most fans seem to understand. alicent's sons would have ended up the pawns and figureheads for unhappy lords seeking to retain their power in the wake of unrest caused by rhaenyra's ascension. i'll explain all of this further below, using a historical example that i think is helpful.

first, we need to understand that rhaenyra's rule would have still been made very unstable because of two factors: her gender, and her very obvious bastard children. (as a side note, i've talked before about how it is literally genetically impossible for the strong boys to be laenor's sons and why we see people treating it like a fact here). why are these two things so impactful? because they threaten the claims of many of the lords and heirs in westeros's current system.

westeros has previously relied on gender-based primogeniture. if a lord has an eldest daughter, and younger sons, his title and lands pass to the eldest son, skipping the daughter. i'm not saying this is morally right, but i am saying that there are probably lords out there with older sisters who got passed over, who don't want their sisters to unseat them. and there are lords who don't want their eldest daughters to usurp their sons' claims. this is just a political reality: the people with political power have a selfish, vested interest in keeping themselves in power. rhaenyra sets a precedent that threatens their ability to do this, making them less likely to support her.

westeros also relies on trueborn children inheriting from their parents. if a lord has two sons, one elder and one younger, but the elder one was born out of wedlock, he legally can't inherit. a bastard can only inherit if they are the only son, and if they are recognized and legitimized by the king as a bastard. again, i don't stand by this custom morally, but it's the reality of how things currently work in westeros. just like with the sex-based inheritance, changing this precedent would put many lords' claims in jeopardy who have their own bastard children they don't want to inherit, or who have older bastard siblings who could try to steal their current title.

it would additionally threaten diplomatic ties between houses, because marriage pacts were political agreements made between families that were cemented around the understanding that the bloodlines would be joined in inheritance. if a lord marries his daughter to another lord, he expects that his grandchildren will inherit the lord's titles, and if a bastard were to inherit he would feel slighted and tricked. so if any upheavals in inheritance happened because of rhaenyra's bastards, it would have pretty major ripple effects for house relations, not just internal house affairs of succession.

so rhaenyra coming into power, however peacefully, would set a legal precedent for women inheriting that many lords in westeros would be unhappy about. rhaenyra would still deny that her kids were bastards, so putting jace on the iron throne wouldn't set a legal precedent, but it would set a cultural one. bastards all across westeros (perhaps rightfully so) would see jace and say: if he can rule the seven kingdoms, why can't i rule my father's castle? think of the blackfyre rebellion but on a smaller scale, taking place throughout various levels of various houses throughout westeros. so we have instability threatening the stations and in some cases probably the lives of all of the most powerful men in westeros. they're not gonna be happy about this.

think about the dance: it's actually ridiculous that the greens had as much support as they did. otto isn't that good of a manipulator; he didn't get all of these houses, some of them incredibly powerful and ancient, on his side just because. it speaks to just how threatened the lords of westeros felt, because there's no question that viserys named rhaenyra his heir and they still turned against her. i genuinely feel like rhaenyra might have had a shot if her reign had been either about gender or bastards, but not both. as much as i love the strong boys, their existence was the final straw that weakened her claim enough to cause all this.

so now that rhaenyra is on the throne, and jace is set to inherit, and lords throughout westeros are dealing with challenges to their power and turning against her, where will they turn to? the lords who are threatened by women will want to turn to a man; the lords who are threatened by bastards will want to turn to someone who is unquestionably a trueborn targaryen.

and here we get to alicent's children. for a lord who doesn't want to acknowledge jace, aegon is unquestionably viserys's son. for a lord who doesn't want to acknowledge rhaenyra, aegon is male. it does not matter if aegon and the greens do not mobilize against rhaenyra. it does not matter if they refuse to speak against her. it simply matters that enough houses will turn against her to use them as figureheads, even against their will.

a few hotd fans have brought up the very apt comparison to the lady jane grey from the 1500s. long story short, jane was positioned by other nobles to usurp queen mary's throne at the ripe old age of sixteen, even though jane's claim to the throne was weak and always had been. later, she completely rescinded her claim and swore support for mary. but armies continued to march in her name; lords continued to fight against mary in her name. because it had never been about the legitimacy of jane's claim. because it had never been about jane's own beliefs. mary did not bear any ill will towards jane, and still political pressure forced mary into having her executed, while she was still basically a child.

i'm not saying that rhaenyra would ever want to kill her siblings in this scenario. to say she would is simply ignoring her entire character. but think of this: if it came down to protecting her children or sacrificing aegon, which would she choose? we've already seen her willingness to sacrifice others, including the greens, to protect her kids: giving daemon the okay nod to kill vaemond, asking viserys to torture aemond, and telling viserys thank you after he threatened to cut out his own wife and children's tongues. if war loomed close enough for her to feel her children's lives were in danger, she would give the order. not happily, but she'd give it.

she'd probably kill just aegon, at first. try to spare the younger brothers, and the women of course. but i really do think the lords would just switch to rallying around viserys's surviving eldest son, aemond. and her hand would end up forced in the same way, and as such she'd go down the line of her brothers until they were all gone. again, not happily, and not without a great deal of hesitance, but she'd do it to protect her kids. she'd do anything to protect her kids.

and, for those of you who firmly believe rhaenyra would never, even to save her children's lives: might i remind you that daemon targaryen exists. daemon, who bludgeoned his first wife to death because he saw her as an obstacle to being with rhaenyra. daemon, who beheaded vaemond in rhaenyra's honor. daemon, who we know from the books has no qualms about killing children for crimes they did not commit. even if rhaenyra refused to give the order, daemon would carry it out.

this is why i have sympathy for the greens, even though they obviously don't have a claim to the throne the way rhaenyra does. i don't see alicent crowning aegon as a blow directed towards rhaenyra in particular. i don't even see it as alicent lacking faith in rhaenyra to spare her children. i see it as alicent understanding the ways in which the men around her will try to cling to power-- because while rhaenyra has been enjoying the privileges of her position, alicent is a relatively unpowerful noblewoman and has always been beholden to the whims of the men around her such as viserys-- and understanding that rhaenyra is surrounded by people who would happily kill all of alicent's children to stabilize her claim.

otto was paranoid, and he was a manipulative fuck who had his own selfish ambitions at heart, but the best manipulators know to base their lies on foundations of truth. his demonization of rhaenyra was an embellishment, but his warning about rhaenyra's rule spelling death for alicent's children was not. and that's why he was able to turn alicent so effectively: for all that alicent wanted to love and trust rhaenyra, it was never about love, and it was never about trust. it was never even really about rhaenyra. it was about the politics of westeros, and the external pressures and hands that would have caused the ruin of alicent's entire family. even if rhaenyra didn't want to kill them, and even if she refused to give the order to kill them.

#ask #asks #answered #hotd #house of the dragon #rhaenyra targaryen #alicent hightower #otto hightower #aegon targaryen #aegon ii targaryen #daemon targaryen #aemond targaryen #daeron targaryen #helaena targaryen #jaehaerys targaryen #maelor targaryen #hotd meta #meta

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priestessame · 3 months

Text

Sumeru historian reader! that has no idea about Zhongli being rex lapis.

gender neutral reader📜 fluff-📜crack

It had been a while since Zhongli had wanted to court someone that badly.

Other than being oh so lovely to look at, it was hard not to fall for a scholar like you. Sharp and eloquent, a trailblazer of a historian. This made it difficult to figure out a way to approach you... more personally. And recently Rex Lapis had found himself wondering the same thing. To understand how to tread across the line of friendship into something more intimate occupied all of his thoughts.

So when he heard you were taking a class on Rex lapis he was positively gloating.

"I think it's a brilliant idea." He assured you, pressing down a giddy smile. Because if you fell in love with the stories of Morax, half his battle was already won.

It was all he could think of as he sipped his tea today. Anytime now you would be joining him here, bright eyes gleaming with reverence as you spoke of the beloved rex lapis (Or so he hoped).

He knew your love for the dendro archon, he knew you often spoke of her kindness and deep wisdom. Well, in that case, (nothing to brag), but surely Rex lapis possessed those qualities as well. If anything, he was walking history himself. You were sure to find him just as benevolent.

Ah, Zhongli thought, he would take such pleasure in seeing your smile as you spoke of him with the same love. Maybe it was childish of him to feel that jittery over it, but he tried to remain nonchalant.

With lunch time approaching, more people flocked into the tea shop and Zhongli swiftly placed an order for a adeptus temptation. That way it would be hot when you arrived.

As if on cue, your voice called out to him. Zhongli straightened at that sound. Your excited figure made its way to his table, he noticed that you carried reading supplies from your class. He read a few titles off the bat, The oldest adepti, The Lord of commerce, The archon king. He brightened up at once, you had read the best of the literature on him. Pleased, he decided to probe it out of you.

"I see you have come from your seminar." He said, easing into his seat.

"I am curious as to how you view the Lord of Geo now." he completed, a small smile slipping on his lips as he waited for what was next to come.

Most historians he encountered echoed the same thought- awe and respect for the geo archon. After all, the literature painted him as iron-fisted yet just, compassionate yet feared, a revered patron of art and a warrior-

"He's just a glorified thug." You grumbled, sitting down beside him.

Zhongli's jaw slacked, the knowing smile stuck halfway on his face froze as he stared at you, more than a little bewildered at your lack of reverence. well, this was... new.

"I'm telling you Xiangsheng, if it wasn't for Guizhong, he would have remained unruly and stupid." You continued, " I don't know why they hail him like some Nobel dude, when he was basically a tyrant for most of his life."

Zhongli smiled queasily, "Dear, historical texts are often subject to the interpretation of historians." He tried to explain, "D-did you not read any literature on him? surely that couldn't have been as bad.."

You just shook your head, pointing the fork at him and making him gulp. Although the action was just to emphasise your point, to the consultant it felt like an accusatory needle being pointed at him. "Lieuyan records and fiction tend to blur over each other, I can't help but feel that he was just some rock headed idiot that is painted as someone cultured."

You stuffed another mouthful of the stir fry, "And after all-" You continued, "what kind of Archon is scared of seafood?"

Zhongli bit back his tongue, He fumbled with the tea cup, grappling at ways to try and win you over, "Well.. that's not exactly how the events unfolded..."

"They are all secondary texts after all, Rex Lapis never really wrote any autobiographical texts himself." Zhongli tried, feeling a little like he was strapped to a mast of a sinking ship.

"That only proves that he was never sophesticated to begin with." You huffed back, Zhongli choked back a cough.

You shrugged, not wanting to waste precious time with Zhongli on talking about Rex Lapis, "I think the people of liueye view him through rose coloured glasses, I'm sure he was some traditionalist in provocative clothing that went about screaming sacrilege for anything new."

"- well that is subject to - wait- I beg your pardon, P-provocative clothing?" Zhongli yelped out in the end, embarrassment creeping up his neck.

"Just look at him!" you said, "Torso out, barely clothed, even his posture seems rather vulguar, purely in comparison to the other Archon statue's..."

You rested your chin against your palm, "Hm, i wonder if he's seen as an erotic figure, his iconography surely hints at that."

You looked up to see Zhongli looking absolutely horrified. He buried his face in his hands, "T-that's just preposterous."

"Is that so?" You replied casually, surprised that the Zhongli you knew didn't have much to add on the topic. "Because the poem by Bai Qiyue, mentions that he had a harem of at least a thousand beautiful women and fathered-"

You yelped as Zhongli spit out his tea.

He coughed as you scampered to hand him a handkerchief. "Xiangsheng! are you alright?" You asked, and Zhongli waved his hand dismissively,

" E-even if- " He coughed out, "Even if Rex lapis did have an...erm... colorful past, I'm sure was never some philanderer with a harem of a thousand."

"Oh." You mimed out, not understanding why Zhongli was the one suddenly acting flustered. It wasn't like you were dissing him. Of course, if the man you looked up to was still iffy, you just had to go further to drive the point home.

"Then there's the ambiguity around his death." You contented, shaking your head, "The records are awfully scripted, in spite of being recent. If lieuyan scholars weren't so moony eyed about their archon, they might have actually noticed how skeptical the whole thing is!"

Your eyes narrowed, too caught up in your conspiracy theory, "To die so easily... I can't help but wonder if Morax was truly that weak of an archon, or if it all was.." Your voice trailed away

"Or?" Zhongli asked curiously, his amber-gold eyes held your gaze. In that moment you lost your train of thought, a little enchanted with how warmly his eyes sized you. It often happened when your eyes met, you would notice how his iris was pure molten gold, like the late sun on the dunes. You hummed out a sigh, pushing the skepticism away, If there was a god of wealth, he should look like that, you thought.

"Doesn't matter." You replied, tossing your hair back, "In the end I am a historian, not some fanatic that should go off on mere theories."

Zhongli chuckled, "Very well." He replied, realising quickly that he would have to court you as Zhongli. Maybe then, when he did reveal his identity, Rex lapis would be treated more kindly.

Buy me a coffee ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

#zhongli scenarios #zhongli fluff #zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin imagines #genshin x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin fluff #genshin impact x you #genshin drabbles #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #reader x zhongli #rex lapis #morax #genshin morax #morax x reader

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animentality · 25 days

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Thoughts on this post?:

https://www.tumblr.com/animentality/64152073250/abc-newsman-proves-danger-of-allowing-transgender?source=share

thanks for reminding me to delete that post I made in literally 2013 when I was 15 because it doesn't reflect who I am as a person anymore.

is this supposed to be a gotcha?

are people supposed to be born woke?

I am amazed you managed to even find this post with like 6 notes, where I legitimately asked people for their opinion on the subject because I was unsure about it and I had certain taught biases that I hadn't learned to abandon yet.

it might amaze you to know that I once told a guy he'd make a great wife when he mentioned he liked cooking.

this was in 2012.

how cisheteronormative of me, right?

but you were all so woke in 2012, weren't you?

you never said anything that was not PC as a teenager.

you never told edgy jokes or said stupid offensive things.

you were born perfect, I'm sure.

it's not like I'm proud of the dumb stuff I said.

but I didn't start identifying as nonbinary until I was 18, and I didn't start identifying as trans until I was 21.

I was raised by an older mother, not a gen x er or a millennial, but a baby boomer, whose inherent biases still sometimes surface in me when I least expect it.

I was raised Catholic.

I had JUST STARTED PUBLIC SCHOOL, after spending literally 6 years in a fucking Catholic school.

I DIDNT UNDERSTAND transgender issues, nor did most people in 20 fucking 13.

how the fuck could I

my mom to this day doesn't know what the fuck nonbinary or trans are, and I identify as both.

how was I supposed to know?

I'd never even met anyone in the LGBT community at that point, nor had I realized I belonged there either.

I literally didn't even know I was pan at that point, or that I was nb/trans myself, or how I felt about most political topics.

that's why I ASKED.

and I said the wrong things. yeah, I did.

but no one had taught me the right words.

and in that post, no one bothered to explain it to me either.

I had to learn that over time.

and guess what?

I'm still not perfect now. I'm still going to make mistakes because times change, as they always do.

and all we can do is try and forgive people who are trying and doing their best, and remaining open minded to things they don't understand right from fucking birth.

but by all means, do search my history to your hearts content.

honestly, I kinda wanna see what dirt you find because this was an interesting look at the kinds of things I thought in 2013.

I can look back at myself and see how far I've come.

this post was interesting to read for me because it was wildly off mark, it misgendered trans women, and it lacked political, historical, and social understanding...

and so?

yeah?

it's offensive. it's bad.

and I didn't know any better.

but lol.

people learn things. people change their opinions.

if you people spend all your time digging up dirt and trying to cancel people for who they were, rather than who they are, or who they're trying to be... I have news for you.

your existence is pointless and your efforts are meaningless.

but I am flattered you did such a deep dive, anon.

please do find more and send them to me.

I'd like to know what other gotchas you can yank out of my ass.

I used to be on Facebook in 2011 before I deleted it in like 2013.

see if you can find anything there.

I used to write cringy poetry. it might be funny to read now.

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balkanradfem · 6 months

Text

So, I've decided to start learning biology.

My education left me with only primary school biology knowledge, because I had zero biology lessons in high school, and now I find myself sorely lacking in knowledge. Which is inconvenient, now that I'm sick and have no idea what to do. I didn't know where to start, but my roommate is in high school right now, and I borrowed her biology textbook to get myself started.

The biology textbook was so misinformed and outdated it made me worry for the education system. Not only they didn't update any info from the last 40 years, some of the info was completely wrong. For instance, it claims there's 6 billion people on the planet (there's 8), and that there's 6 empires of all living things (there's 8, and some of the old ones have been renamed and disputed). I learned quickly to fact-check every bit of information on wikipedia, and this is where I found some truly astounding info that I had no idea about.

If you all have learned this in highschool and it's common knowledge, please excuse me, but I am shocked.

One of the first topics the book covers is evolutionary history of the planet, and it explains how blue-green algae were the first historic plants to produce a lot of oxygen, which sounds like a positive development for us, because most of the living things right now thrive on oxygen. But, looking it up wikipedia uncovered that it was in fact, an extinction event. Most of life on earth was at that point, thriving in non-oxygen environment, and the introduction of oxygen killed 85% of all living species on earth. It was a huge disaster that happened! It's called 'Great Oxidation Event', or the 'Oxygen Catastrophe'.

But that's not all, I found out that it was not only that which destroyed almost all life on earth, but there's been 5 different events in the history that destroyed close to 80% of all species on the planet, and for some of them we don't even know why. We only found proof that lots of species disappeared at all times and the dominant species on the planet rapidly changed, but no idea why, for some of them it's assumed it has to do with volcanoes or ice, and of them that is well known is the meteor, that ended the big dinosaurs.

I never realized how much of evolution was destruction and then starting over, this was shocking to me. It was also fascinating, I found myself following links and learning more about extinction events, also that we're currently in the extinction event caused by humans who are driving lots of species into extinction by taking over their habitats, which made me sad.

At this point I started reading other, biology-related materials, for example, I read a book named 'What an Owl Knows', which is written by Jennifer Ackerman, an owl scientist who studied owls her entire life; now I know more about owls. I also started listening to an audio book about the ocean, and this one proved to be very difficult to follow, but I'll tell you what I learned from both.

The owl book was charming, I found out that owls are the most quiet, soundless birds when they fly, because their wings and feathers are the biggest part of their bodies. This is how they manage to swoop up prey without anyone hearing a single flap. They're also very silent and subtle. Unless you're studying owls, you won't be able to tell if the owl is startled, or scared, because she will sit very still and not give you any clues. Smaller owls can go into their 'freeze' response easily if they're being hunted, because their instinct is to be still and not move when in danger! It can make you feel like the owl is not scared, since she's not moving, but she is most likely not comfortable if anyone is approaching her.

Owls have similar faces to our faces, and they're very charismatic to us; this is why baby owls, and injured owls in human care, can sometimes imprint on humans. This is bad news for the owls, because once it happens, they can never again be released into the wild, they'll either never learn to hunt, or they'll act towards humans, like they do to other owls - brawling, attacking, aggressive, territorial. Even if they really like us, they will keep acting like we're other owl, not a different species. They see us similarly to how we see them.

One of the best information I've learned, is that in Serbia, there's the biggest gathering of owls of all species, there can be more than 300 owls in one place at the time. The reason for this is common use of old-fashined methods of harvesting grains, which leaves a lot of leftover corn and wheat on the ground, attracting mice, rats, and other small rodents, which creates a great food source for owls. Serbian farmers don't use rodenticide, so owls don't get poisoned. Owls so beloved and appreciated there, that they have an owl festival every year, and the whole month of november is called 'Sovember', because owl in serbian is 'sova'. I never knew about this, even though it's my neighbour country! I looked this up, and I found a website for the international owl festival, but I couldn't find any more info. I would appreciate it so much if any serbian followers could write me about this and tell me their experiences with it, I've never wanted to visit Serbia more!

The book contains information about owls used in Harry Potter movies, including the names of the owls, as well as discussing how the books made owls popular, and how it made people want them as pets. Owls do not make good pets, because they're predators and will destroy things and be very difficult to care for, but the book encourages readers to find the local owls and keep them safe, to leave old trees with holes in them standing, so the owls could nest in them, or to hang up baskets that can also be used as nests. It was a lovely, charming book and I recommend it to anyone who wants to know more about owls.

The ocean book is named 'How the Ocean Works', by Helen Czerski, and I haven't finished yet, but it opened up a lot of questions for me. The funniest part of it was the breakup of what people used to think about the ocean; apparently before research, people assumed that the sea is salty because it's been left in the sun for too long, and that's just what you get from sun exposure, they believed that deep down it was not salty anymore. They also believed that the sea water cannot go putrid if left standing. It took a scientist checking this to confirm it was not true; sea water did go putrid left in a bucket in the sun, and non-salty water did not turn salty when left in the sun for months. It was interesting to know that for the longest time, people didn't realize it was the salt in the sea that made it salty, I then wondered how they got salt, and it turns out they just got it from the salt mines, which are leftover from the long-dried up seas.

Now new information that I didn't know, was that the salinity is different between the oceans, the Atlantic is saltier than the rest. The book also explained about how the salt is connected to the currents, and to the movements of the sea, and also changes the density of the water. One thing that had me taken aback was that the ocean waves are not only caused by the wind, but the water is reacting to earth's rotation, and this rotation is constantly moving the water. It feels like the ocean is being pulled both by the earth and the moon, constantly being driven by planetary forces, which is interesting, because it's difficult to tell that just by looking.

The book calls ocean the 'blue machine', because it's always moving, and filled with energy. Sun is always warming up the surface, making it a great reservoir of solar energy, and the book goes on about how it's possible to harvest this energy, using hot water, and cold water, apparently there's already buildings being cooled down by the ocean power, but I never managed to figure out how! I tried looking it up, and also found nothing. I wish the book explained the physics of it, so that I could try it out, it's a great thing to be able to get power jut by using hot and cold water, and the water is already heated by the sun, while you can get cold water from the bottom of the sea.

I think I might understand this book better if I read it, rather than listening to the audiobook, which as you can see, just has me puzzled because I do not catch details. Still I wanted to share my new learnings, and ask if anyone can tell me more, or if this is all knowledge that people who had biology in high school already have. I'm having a great time learning, especially because I can just divert in any direction that has my interest, and I can seek out information that gives me useful, practical knowledge. Wish all learning processes could be free and inspired like this!

#biology #owls #ocean #evolution #extinction #learning biology #making up for lack of high school knowledge #information #resources #natural power #harvesting power from nature #ecology #international owl festival #serbia

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renthony · 1 year

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I once said in a post about bad-faith criticism of MLM media that "media for gay men is never given the opportunity to shine." Someone responded with some sort of gotcha about the popularity of Our Flag Means Death being proof that my point was invalid and that gay men "have it easy" in the representation department. And also that I was being lesbophobic somehow.

And I am still thinking about that, because I don't entirely know how to explain that the popularity boom of OFMD was, like, a big fucking major historical deal. That doesn't usually happen with MLM media. OFMD is a turning point in this, and that's...kind of part of why it was such a big Thing???

But also, if you interpret "MLM media gets held to unfair standards and viewed as hyper-sexual" as "Ren said that lesbians have it too easy," you were probably already primed to misinterpret my point. I think it's completely reasonable to talk about the way MLM media gets treated specifically, just like it's reasonable to spend time talking about WLW issues specifically. Talking about one doesn't mean the other is lesser, it just means we're focusing on a single topic right now, you feel me?

But that's the state of modern queer discourse in general, really. You talk about one thing and people interpret it as "Nobody Is Oppressed Except The Group I'm Talking About Right This Second, Fuck You."

#look at the discrepancy between WLW and MLM rep in children's media and tell me that there isn't a major issue there #like honestly #queer people get hypersexualized across the board but the hypersexualization of MLM is still a specific phenomenon that deserves discussion #god DAMN it #original post

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goodluckclove · 21 days

Text

How I Critique Writing (A Loose Collection of Tips)

Someone asked me for insights into my methodology when it comes to giving feedback on writing and I realized I had way more than I could say in a reasonable amount of private messages. Are you someone who I've spoken to about their writing? Did someone send you their work and you don't know how to respond? Maybe this will help? Based on how people react I feel like it might be controversial but it seems to work.

When someone sends me their writing, no matter the size, subject or genre, I:

Take it seriously. It's a generational epic about the Vietnam war and its effects. It's a cute, young adult romance. It's Zim and Dib from Invader Zim realizing they've always been in love with each other. All of these things can be written with earnestness, strength, honesty and skill. It's fucking hard to write and if someone writes a single sentence that wouldn't otherwise exist its worth holding in your hands and examining with the same eye as if you were taking an interesting book off the shelf.

Respond with curiosity. It's common for critiques to follow a theme of ambiguous disdain. This doesn't work. Delete this. Bad. No. Gross. Guess what? That's not helpful. If you got that feedback, even if you followed it, you wouldn't be thrilled about it. Oftentimes you can take a line that makes you want to say Bad and ask something else. What is this supposed to express? What were you trying to do here? Am I supposed to feel happy/sad/uncertain when I read this? Curiosity can reframe something that you don't think works as a reader and turn it into an opportunity for the writer to look inward and solve their own problem. They might explain what they were trying to do, and if you were to say that it didn't pan out for you they're way more likely to tweak things themselves and feel like they still have control over their project.

Give comments. I've started giving more in-depth comments on the writing people give me depending on how anxious they are about it. If you're a pretty confident writer I'll give a summary of what I gained and what I was left wondering, what I thought and what I felt, what associations it made me think of in terms of tone and other forms of media - stuff like that. For newer writers, especially those who are far more doubting of their own abilities, I go buck wild. And in my opinion notes should be less like Good! I like this! Wow! Nice! (What are you, grading my book report? No thanks), and more like what you think when you're reading a book you're truly invested in. Make jokes about the characters (Not mean ones. I will send bugs to you in the mail.), chart exact lines that provoke physical reactions, even a small one. Can you imagine reading someone treat your work like it has its own fandom on Tumblr? You can do that for someone else.

Fucking have some fucking awareness of the fact that it might not be for you and that doesn't mean it's bad. I'm angry about this one considering the novel a friend sent me last night that they've been too terrified to try and post online, despite it being fucking brilliant. I'll try and calm down. Listen - you read what you like. I mainly read literary and experimental fiction, some poetry, horror and some sci-fi. Not a lot of genre fiction. But I will always be down to read someone's high fantasy story, because even though I don't really like fantasy I know what the good ones sound like. I've forced myself to gain a sense of what someone else would like, even if I don't like it. And I can still critique it. If I'm a builder and I see a house that's painted a shade of green I find sinful for a home (i.e. mint), I can look past that and focus on the state of the walls and the stability of the foundation. You aren't a reviewer, man. You are neither Siskel, nor Ebert. They write for readers, you write for writers. So you don't like historical fiction? Cool, man. Congrats. If someone trusts you enough to give you some to read and critique, you should still do so objectively. If you give it an automatic F because you wouldn't buy it, then you are legally a stinky little trash man. That's just the law.

Ask them what they liked to write and what was the hardest. There's apparently a weird trend on online writer communities that say there are specific rules that all writers need to follow. This is not true. It just isn't. If the dialogue in a story you read is weak, and the writer says they hate writing dialogue and really struggle with it, maybe tell them they don't have to use it. You might change their entire life.

RESPOND WITH CURIOSITY. You see the Ask games where people try and get more detail on the WIP of certain authors. If you have a WIP and I ask you a worldbuilding question that doesn't relate to the direct plot of the story as it exists now, I bet you'd like to talk about it. If I ask if you were inspired by a certain tone or movie, you might know the work I was talking about and feel happy. Or you might not know it, look it up, and feel inspired. I don't think people realize that a critique of new/unfinished writing is not a one-and-done exchange. You are taking part in an isolated process in a way few other people on the planet will. It's not homework. It's. Not. Homework. We spend so much of our time alone just fiddling our hands and making our magic, and in instances like these we share something in one of the ultimate forms of artistic trust. They're taking you into a world that hasn't fully formed yet. Is it cool? Can you tell me about it? Can they?

Be nice. Storytime, friends. In the way early 2010s, there was something on the internet called sporking. It was pretty much a line by line roast of someone's writing - typically fanfic. And I hate to say this, but I read a lot of it. I was 13, somehow untreated and overmedicated, and I was miserable constantly. Just cold in my chest. At one point I had the chance to critique a stranger's story - probably another child - and I essentially mocked the whole thing. They ended up deleting the story off the website. I cannot begin to describe to you the shame I feel about doing this, even ten years later. It burns in my heart and makes me sick to my stomach. If you are a serious writer, especially a young writer, and you insult another writer's craft to their face just as they're getting started - you will regret it. I promise you that. You will think about holding something alive and full of potential in your hands and squeezing your fists until it is just flecks of meat and crushed bone. It will haunt you. Maybe only a little, but constantly and for the rest of your life. So don't do it.

Wow what a grim note to leave on! That's essentially my philosophy on writing critique, do with it what you will. Want to send me some writing to receive this kind of excessive treatment? Cool! I have an email in my pinned post and I'll do that! I'm also down to chat if anyone wants to send me asks or DMs on writing/writing struggles/publishing tips.

#writers on tumblr #writeblr #writing #on writing #writing community #authors of tumblr #actually writing #queer writers #fanfic writing #writing critique #writing criticism #writing tips #writing help #writing resources #writing inspiration #i went crazy on this one didn't i

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captorsicallfriends · 2 months

Note

why pjo's portrayal of the greek gods is fucked up and how it's affected perceptions surrounding ancient Greece.

*breaks down the door to your inbox with an axe*

start talking now oh my god I want to hear your hot take so bad. I've been interested in religious studies (primarily the Hellenistic and early Roman religious atmosphere (of course acknowledging that the word religion is post-Enlightenment and conceives of supernatural belief as a subjective individual belief, which is inconsistent with how supernatural matters were dealt with in the Ancient world) and how they intersect with early Christianity and proto-Christianity) and I've been fascinated with the Greek gods and I need your hot take on why their portrayal is wrong and leads to incorrect assumptions about Ancient Greece.

oh you bet your bottom dollar i will talk about this. true to the post from which this originated, i will prep no material and all this is off the top of my head so don't quote me!

If you follow my Greek mythology sideblog, you'll know i am unequivocally a Zeus defender. Now I can make a million posts about Zeus alone but I will take a more holistic approach on the gods in general and the perception of Ancient Greece.

The West has been obsessed with Ancient Greece for centuries: the culture, philosophy, history, mythology, mathematical and scientific advancements, and much more. Now it's one thing to take interest in a country's history or a historical era; it is completely another to claim it as your own and make it an ideal state of life to achieve, because if you know literally anything about Ancient Greece, it was anything but. What I'm trying to say here is that Ancient Greek culture has been commodified, glorified, rewritten, and reclaimed by the West when it was never theirs to do so. I've often seen this sentiment expressed by Greeks about their homeland: "The history comes first, the people second." I think a prime modern example of this mindset was when same-sex marriage was legalised in Greece, which was a huge step forward for an Orthodox country with an extensive history of homophobia, but people outside of Greece began making jokes of Greece "returning to their own values" (referring to Ancient Greek practices of pederasty which is hugely problematic and not at all representative of any gay rights if you know what it entails) and people excited to "finally hold lesbian weddings in Lesbos" (signifying the West's perception of Greece as simply a tourist hotspot and not a country with an intricate history and culture). In short, Greece is already unfairly used for the West's agenda of glorification and attempts to build itself a culture that frankly isn't theirs at all.

Now, how does this involve pjo? A lot, my friends, a fucking lot. The publication and popularity of the Percy Jackson series has simply exacerbated all the aforementioned issues in this post. First off, the worldbuilding on which The Lightning Thief relied and the rest of the series ultimately holds is that "Olympus moves with the centre of Western power", which is just. Wow. There are a million things wrong with this concept that would need its own post, so I recommend this article called The Whitening Thief that essentially explains the white supremacy of it all. If you do not want to read the full article, the main premise is that the Percy Jackson series equates Westernism with civilisation and that without it there was "chaos and darkness", which as Paule describes it, is "sipping at a pretty racist cocktail".

note: I have realised how aggressively off-topic this is to the original statement I made, I'm getting there, I promise (although I did warn you it was something I could talk on for hours with little material)

Let's finally delve into the depiction of Greek gods in Percy Jackson. I'll actually start on a bit of a positive note that apart from the weird (for lack of a better term) comparisons of Hades to Adolf Hitler, the original Percy Jackson and the Olympians had some okay characterisation of the gods (I have some reservations about the goddesses on which I will elaborate later). They're prideful and neglectful parents (the myths actually contradict that latter part but I digress) but each with their own complexities and concerns. To use Zeus as an example because he's actually the god who falls short the most in terms of consistent characterisation in my opinion, he lets Percy live in TLT "for the sake of peace in [his] family", indicating a care and sense of duty for Olympus and for his fellow gods, and while he lets his pride and paranoia get the better of him at times, he is shown as a serious authority figure and someone who's trying to keep his realm together, and such characteristics wouldn't be too far off from his mythical counterpart.

But as the series progresses, either Rick got lazy or he attempted to further capitalise his work to make it more palpable, he turns the gods into caricatures by excessively inflating one characteristic they may have into their entire personalities. Returning to Zeus, his paranoia is amplified to an absurd extent that one can simply not fathom why the gods would be the better option than the Titans. As I said initially, he had bouts of paranoia that would be almost normal for someone with such a powerful position, but this is completely derailing any connection with his mythological counterpart, he may as well be an OC with the same name and title as him. To use other gods as an example because I promised a holistic approach and I have seemed to only talk about Zeus (sorry!), the writing of the goddesses Hera, Artemis, Aphrodite, and Athena is simply misogynistic. I'm sorry, there is no other way I can find myself to describe it. Typically feminine goddesses Hera and Aphrodite are extremely demonised and condemned for their flaky and vain attitude; Hera is the evil stepmother archetype and Aphrodite ultimately becomes weak and useless. The "virgin" (quotations referring to Athena) goddesses Artemis and Athena also don't seem to extend past superficial, unoriginal characteristics like being a vehement man-hater who kicked out two sapphics from the Hunt and a goddess who Rick stops at nothing to render her a horrible parent and person (using the Roman myth of Medusa, exaggerating her prideful nature, etc) respectively. And you cannot tell me they're not misogynistic portrayals because just a few minutes on pjo tiktok will show you just how many times Hera is referred to as a bitch (keep my wife's name out of your fucking mouth!!). Then there is TOA and COTG, which makes me want to cry just thinking about Zeus' portrayal there (yes we're going back there). The god who was consistently thought of as a gracious, protective saviour of the people in Ancient Greece (full list of epithets of Zeus, read at your leisure) is an abusive autocratic tyrant?

To go back onto the topic, how do Riordan's works affect the overall perception of Ancient Greece? Well, as I said before, it contributes to the white supremacist view of Ancient Greece as the epitome of civilisation and the glorification of the era, but it also turns Ancient Greece into a fandom to an extreme extent. Now, obviously, I'm not talking about people with a healthy obsession with Ancient Greek history and Mythology (myself included) who like to engage in content about it. I'm talking about people who claim Ancient Greece as an extension of Western, mostly American culture, and ultimately engage in a form of cultural appropriation that strips Greeks of their own history and narrative. This includes writing 'feminist' retellings of Greek myths, taking Riordan's (inaccurate) readings of the mythology as indisputable fact, and removing the myths from their historical and cultural context. People forget that much of these myths were stories written for entertainment and take them as a sort of Hellenic Bible (which delves into the Christianisation of Greek Mythology but that's a whole other post). In short, Westerners think they can do whatever the fuck they want with Greek mythology and Greek gods because they think it's theirs with which to play around, ultimately ignoring the country, history, and the culture from which they actually originate, and it's thanks to Rick Riordan that this attitude has blown up to an insane extent.

*sighs* Thank you for coming to my TedTalk and I seriously admire you if you made it this far.

#diya answers #i wrote all this instead of doing the pile of homework i have so yeah enjoy #sunset-telepath #rr crit

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tepli-mravenci · 1 year

Text

So I'm watching Netflix's Castlevania and I've got to say every time a non-european show includes a map of Europe, it gives me brain damage

It's the year of our lord 1477~ and Europe does not look like that

Now I realize this is fiction, there are vampires and demons, but this is real Europe, they could've just set it in a random fantasy setting, they did not and this is not 1477 Europe

So what exactly is wrong here and why am I, a European that's otherwise terrible at geography, being a bitch about it?

The eastern part is pretty okay for post-middle-age map standards (I mean Moldavia is way too big and close and Hungary way too small and the borders should be a bit different but), maps weren't historically very accurate when it comes to the shapes and sizes of countries since we had no way of like, looking at them from high above

However something like borders with other countries would be damn important and there's mistakes there, that chunk of Poland at the bottom is supposed to belong to Hungary and Poland shouldn't actually touch Austria at all

The lines I drew are also not the most accurate cause this is a terrible map but basically the Kingdom of Poland should not expand to the west at all, there behind the line is the Holy Roman Empire (mostly modern Germany) and Bohemia (modern Czechia), (which was included in the HRE at the time according to some sources?), should also be there on the map

That's also the whole reason I even went back to the scene with the map at all, cause Saint-Germain mentioned he talked with the KING of BOHEMIA but BOHEMIA is NOT on the MAP.

The actual king of Bohemia around this time was Vladislaus II of Hungary who was originally from Poland (#just europe things). Which doesn't mean it was part of Hungary or Poland cause that's just not how the politics worked at the time. One king was often a king of multiple countries at once with them still being separate countries.

Austria is also way too close in shape to modern Austria which is also not right and since the Roman emperor at the time was Austrian it should really be a part of HRE way more than Bohemia that straight up disappeared.

Also Bavaria was not a city??? It was (and still is) a region if anything and not at all on the same level as Budapest, the placement of Transylvania is just as funky as the placement of Moldavia and what in god's name is Bosnia doing right under Austria??

Anyway if this isn't just non-europeans drawing Europe wrong the implications here are mostly that the Holy Roman Empire shriveled up and died which is not supposed to happen until a few centuries later, which would make sense if the church essentially brought hell on Earth by pissing off Dracula. Then Poland took over I suppose.

The rest could be explained by crap cartography of the post-middle-ages and small changes in politics due to the whole Dracula night hordes thing but I still needed to get this off my chest

If anyone can tackle (or tackled) this better than me (which is entirely possible, as I said I'm pretty bad at geography) you can let me know

My main issue here is that I don't know if I'm supposed to be like yo that's not what Europe should look like - as in - Europe is in complete chaos rn or if I'm supposed to be like ah yes normal map of Europe

Edit: pls go to the notes for even more info about how wrong this map is <3

#rant #castlevania #netflix castlevania #castlevania netflix #europe #european

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