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thelightofthingshopedfor · 3 years

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I genuinely do not know how to engage with the Loki fandom anymore without regularly tanking my mental health, and I have no idea what to do about it.

the thing about my brain is that it sucks, see, and one of the big ways in which it sucks is that it is incredibly easy for me to miserably fixate on anything that upsets me, which then often expands to include all kinds of other tangentially related things that also upset me, thereby becoming a very bad spiral even if the thing that originally upset me was objectively not a huge deal. (I’m also really, really good at catastrophizing, which just accelerates the whole process.) at best, I then find it completely possible to do much of anything, like work on anything creative, or do my actual job that pays my actual bills, or in general remember that anything good can ever happen again. about all I can do to reset my brain when that happens is to ignore every single one of my responsibilities and do something really distracting like playing a game so my brain is engaged in something other than eating itself alive, or maybe just take a sleeping pill and go to bed. (if neither is an option, then it just sucks even more.)

for reasons that I certainly hope are obvious, that’s something I prefer to avoid.

the thing about Loki is, he’s been my absolute favorite character for about a decade now. he’s my comfort character. I can’t reliably write anything except Loki fic (which would be enough of a personal investment even if I hadn’t written a fic or two that helped me deal with the death of my dog a few years ago and my generally unhealthy feelings about death as a concept, but I did that too). I’ve spent a not-inconsiderable amount of money--again, over the past decade--on my collection of Loki stuff because it makes me happy, and I’ve invested probably even more thought and emotion than money into this character. Loki, in general, is very important to me, if for no other reason than that he’s been part of my life for a long time.

and the thing about the Loki show specifically is, I mostly like it. in part this is because I want to like it, because I’m invested for all the reasons mentioned above. there have been aspects of every episode so far that I’ve enjoyed without reservation or qualification...and there have been aspects of every episode so far that have made me cringe or genuinely upset me for one reason or another. but because I want to like it, and because I have that tendency to fixate on things that upset me in a way that makes me absolutely miserable and renders my brain completely useless for doing anything except continuing to be upset, it is genuinely unhealthy for me to spend much time at all reading negativity about the show.

some of the criticism I don’t totally understand and that’s less of an issue, but a lot of it has merit, a lot pretty obviously comes from a place of actual pain, and there’s a lot I agree with (or at least understand even if a specific thing doesn’t bother me as much). so if I read much of it, I will fixate. I will lose sleep. I will be pretty much unable to do things I actually need or want to do. if I want to avoid those things, it’s not enough just to avoid reading really intense criticism of the show; I have to actively seek out positive opinions, both to reinforce my enjoyment of things I already liked and to provide additional viewpoints on things I didn’t particularly like on first watch so I can keep myself from fixating on them (which my brain is quite happy to do on its own, without even seeing specifically negative posts, so you can probably imagine how much worse my brain gets having the negative opinions reinforced).

like--maybe this all sounds kind of silly, I don’t know, but I’ve lived with this garbage brain for more than three decades and I have a pretty good idea of how it works, at least in terms of what makes it even more garbage. to take care of my mental health, I have to approach certain things in certain ways, and I’m...working on not feeling like that’s silly all by itself. in this specific case, that means avoiding a lot of the negativity and making an effort to seek out positive opinions. as long as people tag appropriately, that shouldn’t be hard, right?

well you’d think so, except actually no, because I’ve had the worst time finding people who like the show and don’t also spend a significant amount of their time dumping on fans who hate the show or just, like, have any issues at all with any aspect of it for any reason. it starts to feel like people think that if you’re not worshiping at Marvel’s feet and loving every second of everything in this massive profit-driven franchise, then you are deluded, whiny, entitled, stupid, sadistic, or some combination of the above. and you know what, maybe it’s weird but I absolutely find that just as upsetting as negativity about the show itself. constantly seeing that stuff is equally bad for my mental health, equally likely to make me miserably fixate on it and lead to a spiral of “everything is bad and hopeless and nothing will ever get better in literally any aspect of life so why even bother trying?”

for reasons that I once again hope are obvious, I still want to avoid that! regardless of the cause! and apparently...I don’t have that option. people typically don’t tag criticism of criticism, or at least not with anything specific enough to be really useful, and it sure seems like I can’t look for the positive opinions that help me enjoy the show and avoid unhappily fixating on things I didn’t like, while also avoiding the negative opinions about other fans that also get me unhappily fixated on things that upset me. so the only alternative is, what, take several steps back from fandom entirely? well, I’d have to stop using Tumblr at all for at least a couple weeks, probably avoid the finale for quite a while, stop writing for the most part because Loki fic is too tied up in the overall fandom and I struggle too much with writing anything else, stop reading most fic for the same reason, stop working on customizing any Funko figures or other action figures that aren’t just for Etsy, and generally give up a lot of things that make me happy. weirdly enough, I don’t want to do that either.

if everyone in this fandom 1) tagged appropriately and consistently and 2) stopped being unnecessarily mean to and about their fellow human beings, I’m pretty sure it would be basically fine. and of course there’s no possible way I can make that happen. if I want to keep enjoying something that does genuinely make me happy often enough to be worthwhile to me, it seems like I just have to choose between two different types of mental-health minefields rather than, you know, being able to avoid all the mines.

so what am I supposed to do with that?

(this is...more or less okay to reblog if you’ve felt at all the same way, wherever you might fall in your opinions about the show itself, as long as you make sure to not be an asshole about it to anyone. this is not the place to talk about how much you hate the show, and it is also not the place to talk about how awful Those Whiny Fans are. take that somewhere else and for god’s sake put a useful tag on it.)

#loki #loki show #loki series #marvel cinematic universe #brains behaving badly #mental health issues #I don't know what else to tag this #loki spoilers #not really but just in case #really hope I don't regret posting this

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lokislittlesigyn · 3 years

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// loki spoilers

This is basically a huge infodump on my thoughts about the first episode, because I doubt y’all want to sift through my trauma-ridden ramblings. I’ll make another post for the rest. This is just everything not related to the IW stuff/my reaction to that. It’s general thoughts, theories, musings.

1. When Loki gets first taken into the TVA. Is that Peggy Carter in the background? Others have suggested it might be. What would that mean??? Will we see the TVA fix the mess the Russos made with Steve/Peggy (not likely) or is it just a lookalike? Who knows..

2. A skrull at the main intake desk! Idk not super relevant just interesting!

3. I’m kind of glad they changed the... uncomfortable scene... with the robot burning his clothes off. He gets more time to react to seeing the machine itself, and he seems more shocked (”Now.. H-hang on just a minute.”) than angry (”Now hang on just a minute!”) i still feel.. horrible for him, i’m glad nobody Saw him and that the machine didn’t grab the clothes off, but still. Ehhh.. uncomfortable.

He is beautiful though, don’t get me wrong - I’d just prefer a shirtless Loki scene where he wants to be shirtless? let him do what he wants with his body?? he’s probably felt so out of control of his body, from being jotun to falling through space that any invasion of privacy like that hits extra deep...

That being said, I recognize the utility of the scene for the narrative - his lack of control, his literally being stripped of what he was before.

4. WHO IS THE MAN WITH THE CAT. What is his name. I love that he has a mug with his cat on it. But I want to know more. Who is he?

4.1 WHY DIDNT YOU LET LOKI PET THE CAT Please,,, I am begging you,,, let loki pet the cat and have something react kindly to him and purr all happily at his scratching behind their ears plea s e

5. The info sheet. Now this is just a little nitpicky tidbit, but in a previous promo they listed Loki’s height as 6′4 ft and weight as 525 lbs. This is taken directly from the comics if I’m not mistaken. However, in the actual show he’s listed as 6′2 (Tom’s height and Loki’s presumed height) but I don’t remember if his weight is the same. Is Loki 6′2? 6′4? please let me know i want to know how smol i am in comparison

6. His little aggressive shaking of the ticket at the guard makes me giggle each time.

7. The fact the turnstile hits so low on him reminds me,, I am short compared to him. Those things hit my stomach/waist. That one hit his legs. I am once again asking Loki to pick me up.

8. The cartoon with Miss Minutes introducing the TVA is wonderful, I love the art style especially. But it raises questions about Variants... I guess Variants can just, pop out of nowhere? Any action could be the wrong one? And then once you commit the wrong action you either get returned or pruned? Yikes??? And THIS ties into another thing later!

9. The trial scene. I have a hunch - a feeling, a suspicion. That one of three things may be true.

A. The Time-Keepers never actually existed. They’re fabricated, and now whoever runs the TVA is actually using the excuse of “The Time-Keepers decree it so!!!” to carry out whatever They think is right. The fact we haven’t seen the Time-Keepers makes me.. suspicious...

B. The Time-Keepers existed, but they have since passed on, however that may have happened. Now someone is doing the same as above, using the excuse of the Time-Keepers apparent dictations to run things.

C. The Time-Keepers do exist, and do run the timeline/TVA, but maybe they’re not infallible? Maybe the TVA info video is lying or incomplete in some way? Idk I just feel like, something about the TVA and how they run things has to be wrong. It has to? Something is off. Again, this will tie into another thought later...

I have no idea if any of these are actually true! But Loki’s questions of “Who’s in charge here? What do they do? What do you do?” punctuated by laughter leads me to believe he’s suspecting something too, or perhaps just trying to figure this mess out.

10. Seiðr/Magic. We see in this scene, Loki’s magic (”powers”) don’t work in the TVA. (and a quick side note, did he have to Flex like that? do you have to make me see Loki’s bare arms Flex like that? be still my heart. anyway please get that collar off of him and let him rest for five minutes) This makes me wonder.. Why isn’t Loki in his Jotun form? His pale skin and blue eyes are decided by magic, are they not? I suppose this is 2012, so perhaps Odin’s magic is keeping Loki looking like that. But if magic doesn’t work in the TVA, why would his spell reach so far? Clearly Loki’s magic isn’t what’s doing it. How is Loki not appearing as a Jotun? Is his Jotun form repressed - is pale skin his default now, rather than something hidden by magic? I need answers!

11. he sounds so scared about being “reset” please dont hurt him,,

12. cALLING LOKI A PUSSYCAT? (lokitty confirmed) I think Mobius was goading him (Mobius strikes me.. As extremely clever. He’s trying to push Loki’s buttons to see who he’s dealing with. At least, I hope so. Because if he really meant that “You were born to cause pain and suffering and death... All so that others can achieve the best versions of themselves.” and that line about killing Frigga??? No no no he is not guilty. He had no way of knowing what would happen. It wasn’t right to send Algrim up to Asgard (i think algrim wouldve found the way up anyway) but there was no intent to hurt Frigga. I really hope you’re trying to goad him, Mobius, because if you believe that I trust you much less. anyway i digress) but wow is he pushing Loki’s buttons a lot. I can’t... Blame him entirely, I understand he’s trying to make sure Loki’s on his side, maybe I’m just too soft for Loki idk. But some of that was very cruel to say. /:

12.1 AND ANOTHER THING ABOUT MOBIUS. That scene with the girl in the church?? Did that little girl kill the men? Is that young Sylvie? Or is she using an illusion to make herself look young and innocent? What’s going on!!!!

13. LOKI SNATCHING THE LITTLE TIME-TWISTER DEVICE AND STOWING IT IN HIS POCKET.... POCKET....... sorry sometimes i get so caught up about loki that i just say random words in between little noises and squeals,,, i am a silly thing

14. CASEY. CASEY??? That whole exchange is funny. Poor Loki, just trying to intimidate this guy so he can escape but - Casey doesn’t know what a fish is. to be fair.... thor doesn’t seem to know what a raccoon is... right?

15. That bit with the infinity stones is kind of funny until you realize

A. Natasha died for a paperweight

B. Tony died from paperweights

C. Loki was tortured for paperweights

D. Oh, and Gamora died for a paperweight too. And Vision. Need I go on?

Then it becomes less of exclusively “haha funny” and now it’s a mix of funny and pain and gosh, is that a good way to sum up being a Marvel/Loki fan sometimes...

16. Loki gazing at the timeline all “Is this the most powerful thing in the universe?” or something, i’m sorry i don’t remember exactly... made me think of a meme and i shall make it presently.

17. I love that Loki got to see examples of how his family loves him but the fact he’s all “I can’t go back.” really just breaks me. It’s like he can finally see they love him after all of this mess, and now he doesn’t have the chance. Please, please let him be happy. Give him some relief. This is the Loki that just came off finding out about being Jotun, falling from the Bifrost, encountering Thanos, attacking Earth, facing defeat, and now he’s being thrashed around in this wild place and has just found out he inadvertently caused Frigga’s death (he did not kill her: his actions, by mistake, lead to her murder, let me be very clear) AND Odin will die AND all the rest... And he wants to be with them.

18. Loki’s reaction to Thor suggesting the hug makes me soft. Please I want to hug this little mischief man so so so bad-

19. Skipping over the iw parts! That’s for another post because this one will be grossly long anyway.

20. “I don’t enjoy hurting people.” and “It's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear. A desperate play for control.” was all so, so validating. I’ve been trying to argue on Loki’s behalf for almost a solid decade. Seeing the show recognize that Loki’s not all just violence and hurting for “fun”, that he’s not unhinged and bloodthirsty.. Is so nice. It’s just so, so comforting. and it gives me hope for future episodes that they won’t go the route of “oh haha loki bullied and mistreated and stabbed thor for years!!! :)” loki cries during basically every fight with Thor and you want me to believe he stabs Thor for fun? absolutely not.

21. Theory.. Just another hunch.. So we know a fugitive variant, aka Loki, is running amok. Refer back to 8 and 9.C. What if the Time-Keepers never actually fixed the timeline into a single timeline? What if there are other timelines, and these different Loki variants have hopped over to the current one? Or, maybe the Time-Keepers did fix the timeline into a single one, and these Lokis are remnants from that huge time-war at the beginning? Time runs differently in relative spaces, they may have Just Left that war from their perspective!

I say Lokis and not Loki because we’re pretty sure there’s Female/Lady Loki, Old Man/King Loki, and possibly Young/Kid Loki. That’s at least three. From the peeks of Asgard and NYC we’ve seen from the trailers, I think we’re also getting an Asgardian King!Loki and Midgardian King/Vote!Loki. (unless our dearest variant is hopping into timelines and situating into them, but I doubt Mobius would let that happen..?) That’s five.

To further support this, keep in mind, I believe recently six (i think 6 regular and 6 rare...) different funko pops were announced for the series? I’m not sure if they’re in addition to the Loki and Mobius already released. If they are, there’s enough room for each Loki and maybe a TVA agent. One of the pops is supposed to have a buddy/companion I think? Maybe they’re making the cat guy into one, or maybe there’s something else (Throg, anyone?).

22. That is totally Lady Loki/Sylvie at the end by the way. Has to be. But why does she want the reset devices? Why did she snatch that TVA Hunter? Again, WHAT’S GOING ON

ANYWAY this was a very long post if you made it this far, I commend you.

#no proofread only post #long posts about loki #loki #loki series #loki spoilers #sigyn says WORDS #SPOILER HEAVY

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maladaptive-ninja-returns · 5 years

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The Siren & The Healer (2)

Natasha Romanoff arc

Chapter 2: The Stranger

Platonic Natasha x fem!Reader, Loki x fem!Reader (soulmates?)

Theme: With cracks between the most powerful superheroes of the earth, Natasha Romanoff does not find rest when she is assigned on a mission to find the missing pieces of a puzzling power that once nearly got into the hands- rather, tentacles- of Hydra. In order to unearth the pieces, she must dig through her own past and make a decision that might decide the fate of the earth in the coming wars.

Series: Will contain violence, death, destruction, softness, fluff, smut, friendship, and whatnot

Chapter warnings: it does not have floof. or smut. or Loki.

A/N: This was written a few years ago with an OC in mind so reader has a name but it is a reader insert.

Word Count: This weird pain in my heels has not gone away and it has been six freaking months! And I keep missing making appointments! With either of the doctors! I am so mad at myself. And I am trying to take vitamins for the same and I keep missing them too! Which reminds me I should put alarms. Which reminds me I should put alarms for this. ...and I keep missing putting up those too.

MASTERLIST in bio, love

Time: 2200 hrs

Location: Vienna

The little Iron Man funko pop had been entertaining you for the last two hours when the remaining contents of Harry’s table could not. By now you were practically half lying on his table, the chair rolling to and fro while you hummed the tune to Tender’s Nadir, bobbing your head like your little friend to the rhythm. Harry’s colleague- another assistant professor in the department- had come by to collect his stuff from his desk while you waited. “Why don’t you leave and he’ll come when he can,” he had mentioned, drawing a stare of judgment from you. Leave him? What am I? A monster? I can’ just ‘leave’ him. He’s Harry, man! Shut your trap hole!

"I'm so sorry Koshu. I had to collect some assignments from the students." Harry started with loud gasps of breath before he’s even entered the room. You were kinda bummed he knew you were there. You really wanted to surprise him. Though you had to say, you loved seeing him all flustered. It was quite a rare sight for you. You always so calm and composed friend never broke a sweat no matter how hard things were. Well, the things that were hard for you were a smooth sail for Harry. Even though you’d both come here to study and research in artificial intelligence, you had just dropped out of the course after the first semester and taken to teaching minor courses and skills while learning some yourself. He, on the other hand, had been acing it ever since he got here, winning scholarships and accolades. Not to mention the hearts of all ladies and interested men. And what did Harry do about it? Be as innocently unaware about it all as your crush on him. Stupid son of a sexy goofball!

"Look at you, all red and sweaty! I bet Sammy would love to have you now." you giggled.

Harry stood beside you for a second, blank, until he realised what you meant and flushed a fresh batch of red. Yeah, exes tend to have then effect sometimes. A part of you was glad to have that woman out of the picture- that part being the whole of you. No one wants a toxic girlfriend who wants you because you’re hot and then thinks she rather not because ‘I don’t know, Harry, you’re not as outgoing as I thought my boyfriend would be.’ She should have been glad you were on another continent at that time.

"Yeah. Whatever. Hey, I have to grade these assignments so why don't you head home. I'll finish these and then come back,” Harry admitted before wiping the sweat off his forehead. Ugh! Stop it you tease! Your inner voice was really having a day.

"What? Take them home! I'll cook us some pasta or Indian if you are craving some. Get comfy and then grade these bitches."

Harry raised his brows at you.

“That was for the papers. Not for you students....who do comprise of certain stuck ups if you ask me.”

He blinked before shrugging and nodding in agreement. Hesitating for a moment, he remained quiet, the corner of his lips twitching where it met his beard.

"Yeah, I'm comfy here. You go ahead."

It was your turn to raise arch your brow at him.

"Dude! Stop it!” you lectured, raising her hands in the air. “It’s okay for you to do the laundry but it’s not okay if I cook food for the both of us? And it’s not like I’m a bad cook that you avoid eating my hard work. This is called sharing responsibilities, something, I clearly remember, you lectured me on when we first came here. And I like cooking, it’s like a stress-buster. And I make awesome Indian food and a mean Chicken Alfredo."

“...”

“I do...don’t I?”

"Yeah, that you do."

"Thank God. So come home, you twat. Pack those things and let's move. I'm hungry. Let's go before I eat your brains."

Harry smiled sheepishly at his failed attempt for a second and then beamed with happiness from within.

"Alright. Go heat up the car. I'll bring all the material with me.”

You got up with a gush of new energy flowing inside you. Taking the keys from him, you walked for the door.

“Oh! And don't leave without me okay?" He called out from behind you, making you stop, turn and give him a narrow-eyed look. Harry laughed and dodged the duster you threw at him. "Jerk," you hissed through your teeth as you started walking towards the parking lot.

It was only seven in the evening but the sky had already bid goodnight. There were barely any students on the campus. You could hear EDM being played at a distance at some frat house or in someone's dorm. Kids, you thought to yourself, as if mocking them. And then again, you thought to yourself, kids- but now with wistful faraway happiness.

There were only four cars in the parking lot. An old Camry that belonged to a history professor who took night classes. Another one was a Bentley that belonged to a highly infamous professor of Personality Development. The man taught more about himself than about personalities. You never liked that guy.

This guy creeps me out from a mile away, your insides would always remind you.

The last one was an unknown SUV that stood a few meters away from Harry's car. It did not belong to any student or staff you knew.

You took a good look at it as you crossed it and moved to Harry's second hand, Honda. If there was anything Harry and you loved in common more than food, and a bit less than animals, it was this sweet lady. One could find notes, spare T-shirts, cologne, deodorants and much more in there. It could easily be called your second home.

Both of you had spent nights sleeping through all the tipsy- after wild parties during the first year- in this baby. This one had been with you when you’d got here and did not have a dark corner to cry in. Or when you and Harry needed to run away from the buzz of the city and escape into the mountains to rest under the stars and talk about all your deepest desires, darkest secrets and nethermost questions about life and purpose. Not to mention, you’d cleaned up this baby on Harry’s first date just so this guy would get some action- which clearly didn’t happen for this terribly shy guy. This car had been a constant in it all and had even been knighted with a name.

“Hey Bunny! Did you miss mama? How was my girl today?”

You were about to open Bunny’s door when your eyes went back to the SUV.

Matte black. Alloy wheels, clearly not of cheap quality. Weird number plate which was not from the state and a little metallic sword that hung from the rearview mirror inside- reflecting the lights from the parking lot right into your eyes.

Something did not feel right. You stood there for a few seconds looking in the parking lot for any sign of the owner.

“It is supposed to look intimidating.”

You jumped at the voice behind you.

A man came out of the shadows of the trees. He was wearing a grey suit and a pin bent in the shape of an eye with what seemed to be a ruby in the middle.

You closed Bunny’s door and locked the vehicle, carefully placing the car keys between your fingers so as to point them away from you and put the other hand around your bag. You took two steps back into the middle of the parking lot, standing visibly under the lights.

“I’m sorry, Sir, do I know you?”

The man stepped into the light. The wrinkles on his face made him look a bit over forty but his well-fitted suit around his body made him look younger and muscular. His grey eyes looked right into yours with a hint of a smile on his thin smooth lips.

“No, ma’am. But I have heard about you.”

You stepped further back into the most lit part of the lot.

“Can I help you, sir?”

You just now noticed the restraint in your voice- into a softer, smoother version of how you normally talked. This always happened when you were intimidated by the person standing in front of you.

“I have been looking for someone who could help me with this concept that is completely out of my league. But considering the things that are at stake, I was hoping you could help me.”

You looked in his direction, confused. More than that, you were frustrated, wondering where the campus guards were.

“I am talking about healing and meditation studies. A few kids who are visiting Europe on a foreign exchange program have shown some interest in getting certified in the course. And I heard you have some sort of experience with that thing.”

The man smiled, this time, his lips extended a bit more while his eyes still stayed grey. Your entire body feel a cold jitter all at once. His eyes. There was just something unsettling about them. Like they were looking right through your clothes, skin, flesh, and bones.

“Oh! I’m sorry sir. I taught last semester and that was that. I no longer teach or practice it. But you can find teachers for the same more capable than me in the classes going on right now. In fact, the students can directly contact them. Their information is available on the university website.”

The man tilted his head a little as if he was questioning something you just stated.

“Really? You stopped teaching the course? But why? I met some of your students and they gave me really amazing reviews regarding your teaching methods.”

You felt drops of sweat trickle down your back. For a few seconds there, all you did was just blink and feel the fierceness of your heart trying to rise up a little. Finally, you gave a weak smile before answering. “It wasn’t suitable for me. I mean the timings and the hours I had to put in. It was sort of taking a toll on my health. So I don’t do it anymore. I don’t take classes. Neither do I freelance.”

The man was silent for a second while you felt her phone in her jacket. One wrong step and you were ready to press the button of wrath.

“So you’re telling me that healing and meditation took a toll on you.”

You let out one long tired sigh. Here we go. You’d heard that phrase before, more times than you could count.

“Yes, sir”, you muttered, your voice suddenly growing tired, “it does take a toll on you if you’re not careful.”

You wanted to take a look behind you to see if Harry was approaching but did not turn for the fear of the unknown now standing in front of you.

“Careful about what?”

“The things you work on, the ailments for example, who you work with, what energy you are going to work upon slash with,'' you stressed, though stressing as little as you could on the ‘energy’ bit.

“Oh! Like if someone was, say, in an accident, you wouldn’t treat them because that might take a toll on your health. So, you’d rather that person suffer than be treated by you.”

The statement took you by surprise. You had been thinking the man was a sceptical old pervert but here he was asking you questions a healer’s heckler noob does not play with so early.

“Excuse me?” you lost your voice a little. “Sir, it’s a lot more complica—”

The man looked away from you to take out a card from his jacket and hold it out for you to take.

“Why don’t you tell me all about it tomorrow at 8:15 am? Your ride’s here so let’s continue this tomorrow. I’m sure being a healer you have a good reason to not heal someone. Even a…” he paused, his dead eyes looking straight into yours, “loved one.”

And suddenly you were not standing in the parking lot anymore. The dead eyes stayed there with you as everything around you seemed to fade into the distance. Only the eyes, your cold body sweating and a familiar old voice shouting out for you from somewhere far away were present in the void.

Keosha.

You could almost recognize that faint noise accompanying it. A fade white noise was what it seemed to be initially. A part of your mind tried to filter out where exactly where it was coming from.

Keosha.

It grew closer but now it was somewhat different. You thought you heard someone scream somewhere in the distance.

“Keosha!” Harry shook your arm.

You jumped back into reality, nearly a feet away from Harry’s grasp.

“Hey! Daydreamer!” He called out for you, taking one careful step towards you so as not to scare you away again. “You okay? Where did you go?”

You supported yourself on Bunny. Harry noticed the slow blinks, realising you had been living through some part of your wayward imagination that was not a pleasant one. So, he did what he always did during such times. Rubbing your back to soothe you before taking you in a light embrace.

Your heart was comforted by Harry’s presence, thanking him repeatedly for being there. Your mind was all over the place, looking around you for the cause of this sudden crack inside your mind. The old man was gone.

“Sorry I just got lost in…something. Should we go? We should go.”

Your body worked on its own, getting into the car, closing the door, putting on a radio station to drown out the echo of words left behind.

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itslmdee · 5 years

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Fic: When Fans Collide

Mira meets a fellow female fan with a secret at a convention.For the allbingo meet-ugly prompt "we have been chatting online for three years and today I learned your profile picture isn't you"

Mira loved going to conventions and meeting other fans, buying merchandise, attending the celebrity panels, and joining in with the amazing cosplay; those who liked to dress up as a favourite character could get very inventive with their costumes.

Mira had chosen to dress as Domino from "Deadpool 2" this year, having previously cosplayed as characters including Wonder Woman, Zoë from "Firefly" and, last year, Valkyrie from "Thor: Ragnarok". She hadn't gone so far as to add a contact lens as another Dominio cosplayer she'd met at the registration desk had, but she'd carefully applied the white makeup around one eye and fluffed up her hair.

She'd hoped to meet her online friend of three years, and fellow fan, Erica, but at the last minute Erica had said she wouldn't be able to make it this time, adding a sad emoji to her instant message. Erica hadn't been to a fan convention before and was anxious about it, so Mira wondered if it was nerves that led her to back out.

"I'll take lots of photos for you," Mira had promised. She already had several of the building and a couple with some fans, including the other Dominio, who had gushed over Mira's elbow-length fingerless leather gloves as more authentic than her own.

Mira browsed some of the stalls full of comics, signed photos, Funko Pops and other figurines, Blu-Ray box sets, and more. She'd got some money saved up especially to splurge on merchandise.

"Sorry," someone said as they bumped into her. Mira looked up at the woman who was wearing a "Burr shot first" T-shirt and a beautiful dragon necklace.

"No problem. I love the shirt," Mira said. "Both "Hamilton" and "Star Wars", what's not to love? My friend Erica has the same one." Erica had proudly photographed the shirt laid out on her bed being admired by a plush Pikachu.

The woman paled a little. "Thanks," she mumbled and walked away.

Mira was surprised by the reaction but didn't take offence. People could get nervous around strangers, especially if they felt intimidated by the crowded halls. She continued browsing.

Several stalls later Mira had only purchased a couple of keyrings though she'd seen a lot of things she'd like. She'd probably buy more things tomorrow once she'd seen everything on offer, and had her eye on a "Stargate: Atlantis" print and a colour-changing "Supernatural" mug.

Stopping for a coffee, Mira spotted the Hamilton fan again, huddled in one corner and glancing at the convention leaflet and then at the room as if lost. She wandered over slowly, giving a wide smile.

"Hi," Mira said. "This your first time here? It's a bit overwhelming when you first get here but most people are really friendly and you'll have a great time."

The woman nodded, one hand moving to fondle her necklace.

"That's a great piece," Mira said, "I'm Mira."

The woman nodded again. "I know."

That was unexpected. Mira glanced down at her ID badge; it was readable close-up but the woman must have good eyesight to have seen it from this distance.

"I'm sorry," the woman said and launched into a ramble. "I'm so ashamed. I kind of hoped I'd see you here, but I said I couldn't come because then you'd know what a liar I am, and so I said I wouldn't come and then I got here, and it's so crowded and you know I don't like crowds, and I regret everything right now and I'm sorry."

Mira blinked a few times, taking all this in. "Erica?" she asked when the woman finally stopped for a much needed breath. It was the only thing that made sense except the woman didn't look like Erica's profile picture. She leaned in and peered at the woman's badge. Erica Staywell. Her friend.

"Yes. You look amazing," Erica said. "Just like the pictures you showed me when you were preparing your costume. And I look…" She gestured vaguely.

"You look a little different to your profile picture," Mira agreed. Her own pic showed her dressed as Princess Tiana from when she and some of her friends had all dressed as Disney Prince and Princesses for a Halloween party.

"That's because that's not me," Erica said miserably. "It's a picture I found on a stock photo website. I was making a vision board to inspire me and I chose her because she's younger, thinner, prettier than me. I put her as my avatar because that's what I wanted to look like, that's how I wanted to feel, happy like she looks in that picture. It makes me feel good to look at her when I post online."

That was understandable, but Erica wasn't finished. Before Mira could ask why she'd never mentioned the photo was inspirational rather than based in reality, Erica explained. "We'd only been talking for a while when you said something nice about me and I didn't want to admit I didn't look like that; I'd just lost my job and was feeling miserable enough without having to show you how I really looked."

Mira stared at her, aghast. They'd still been getting to know each other then but she remembered Erica getting made redundant and how it had in fact brought them closer with Mira sending her gifs to cheer her up when she was low, letting Erica vent about the struggle of hunting for a job, and being thrilled when Erica got her new job which turned out to be better in every respect than her old one. They'd even talked a bit about the vision board which had at first seemed to fail Erica by letting redundancy occur before delivering the better pay and flexible hours she'd been asking the Universe for.

Now she understood why none of the photos Erica had shared in the last three years had shown her face.

"Oh, Erica," Mira said with sympathy. She was still reconciling this woman with her friend – and since they'd only ever communicated via text, no doubt Erica was getting used to hearing Mira's voice too. Meeting someone in person was always an interesting experience. "I would have understood."

Erica shook her head. "The longer it went on it just seemed like this huge thing that I'd have to tell you and I was embarrassed."

"Enough that you'd come to the convention alone?" Mira had already planned her trip and booked a single room since it was a longer distance for her to travel and she wanted to attend both days, Erica only initially agreeing to come for one day because she could get the train from her hometown to the hotel where she could meet up with Mira.

"I almost didn't come but I'd paid for the ticket," Erica said, blinking away tears. "I'm an idiot."

"Yes," Mira said because they'd become close enough for her to tease. "You're an idiot for thinking I'd care what you looked like. Which is amazing by the way."

Erica shook her head again and Mira pulled her into a hug.

"Look, of all the people here we found each other," Mira said, releasing Erica. "We have the rest of the day to enjoy the convention together. It's going to be so much fun."

"Okay," Erica said, summoning up a smile and wiping her eyes. "I'd like that."

"And I got you something so this will save me mailing it," Mira said, rummaging in her bag. She held out one of the keyrings.

Erica took the Lego Loki keyring, eyes wide with surprise. "Oh, thank you!"

"I've got Lego Wonder Woman," Mira said with a grin. "So, do you fancy the "Lord of the Rings" panel? It starts in ten minutes."

Erica clipped Loki to her handbag. "I'd love that."

They walked, arm in arm, to find a seat.

#flash fiction #short fiction #allbingo #meet-ugly #my fiction #writingwednesday

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shelfavengers · 6 years

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Favorite Funko Pops!

Since you guys seemed to like my last favorites post, I thought I’d show you my funko pops! These are in no particular order, they’re just all ones that I love for various reasons 💕

DC Justice League Hot Topic Exclusive Mera

Just like the 6” figure, the detail on this pop is just amazing!! I love the colors they used for her suit and the fact that the scales look real. I also love how they matched her eyeshadow to her crown! It makes her look really kickass 👊🏼

Avengers: Infinty War Hot Topic Exclusive Vision

This Vision pop is so pretty!!! This picture doesn’t do it justice, but the entire thing is metallic and beautiful. I love the amount of detail they put into his suit and cape, and really appreciate the fact that they put him in a flying pose! This is a much-needed upgrade from the Age of Ultron Vision!

Spider-Man: Homecoming Tony Stark

As you can probably tell, I love figures that don’t have masks 😂 That’s part of what makes this figure so awesome! We get the real Tony Stark, not just Iron Man. I absolutely adore his cute little glasses and his awesome cat shirt!! 🐱

AMC’s The Walking Dead SDCC Exclusive Burning Walker

The Walking Dead is one of my favorite shows, so when I saw that they were releasing this pop through GameStop, I knew I had to have it!! This is my only walker pop and I love it! The fire bits are translucent and make this pop truly one of a kind 🔥

Custom Army Peggy Carter

This pop was custom made for me by YourFandomOrMine on Etsy!! She already had the base up for sale, and I had her add on the adorable little red lips for me 💋 This pop is really special to me because I ordered it right after I cosplayed this exact costume at Las Vegas Comic Con. I just love how adorable she is!!!

Captain America: The Winter Soldier Unmasked Winter Soldier

The Winter Soldier has been one of my favorite characters since I read Brubaker’s run, and is also one of my favorite onscreen characters! While I don’t yet have a 6” figure of him, I have several funko figures but this pop takes the cake! I just think it’s the cutest thing, and I love the half mask. This pop took me FOREVER to find back when the movie first came out but it was worth it!!

Thor: The Dark World Sif

Sif is one of the many badass female characters that doesn’t get nearly enough recognition. I love her character and knew I had to have this pop. Like Mera, she has the most beautiful detail! Her armor and little shield look absolutely amazing. Now I can’t wait for her Marvel Legends figure to be released!!! ❤️

Avengers: Age of Ultron Collector Corps Exclusive Dorbz Ultron

This one isn’t a pop but I decided to include him on here since he’s still a funko product! This was the first dorbz ever made and he’s definitely one of the cutest! While I don’t normally collect villains (Loki IS NOT a villain), this little guy was too adorable to resist! I just love his little grin 😁

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lokistories123 · 6 years

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The fieldtrip (chapter 3): Secrets revealed

Please tell me what you guys think! Is this the way to go with this story. I don’t want to end up with 3 stories all having the same ending if you know what I mean.

“What do you mean you went to MY house and MY room? And what do you mean you found something?” How on earth could Loki go to earth from the time he hit his head till I saw him in the healing hall the next morning?! The thing I was most worried about, is what he “found”.

“Don’t worry Y/N. I just found your…. Collection.” Oh fuck. He saw my Tom Hiddleston/ Loki collection. Pretty much posters, funko’s and a 1:1 helmet.

“What do you mean?”

“I am not stupid. I know there are movies about me. It’s not ME, but I know they exist. I know who portrays me looks just like me. And YOU are one of the many woman obsessed with it and him.” I didn’t know what to say. I got tears in my eyes and just ran away. It may not be the best idea I have, but I didn’t see any other option.

Of course, Loki ran right behind me. I ran the same way back as that we arrived. I got lost in the hallways, but I ended up in front of Loki’s door. This was the place I didn’t want to be. I felt so stupid. Perhaps I should’ve told Thor and/or Loki what was going on in the first place. Just when I turned around Loki was standing there, he threw himself at me, his door opened, and I fell on the ground. Loki quickly closed the door behind me and I was now IN his room.

“What the hell!”

“Please don’t take this the wrong way, I just want to know why.”

“WHY WHAT?!” I was pretty angry at him. Not necessarily for breaking into my room or bringing it the way he did. What I didn’t accept was that he pushed me into his room ON THE GROUND.

“Why me?”

“What do you mean?!”

“Why like me in all these movies? It’s not like I’m the nicest guy in those.”

“Okay first of all, THAT person in THOSE movies isn’t ACTUALLY you, now is he?!”

“No….”

“Then why are you asking me these question. I can answer the question why I like character most, because we have a lot of things in common. I don't know YOU. And when I knew I was coming here I didn't even know if there was indeed a Loki, or a Thor for that matter of fact. And I promised and told myself that if you were real, you’d be a whole new and different person whom I need to get to know, and that you have nothing to do with those movies! There I fucking said it!”

Loki was blasted with my words and didn't know what to say.

“So, everything I did today and yesterday were not because you look like a fucking character out of a movie! If you were goddamn bob from Scotland I would’ve done the same thing!”

“Why are you yelling?” Loki was seriously puzzled.

“BECAUSE YOU THREW ME ON THE FUCKING FLOOR THAT’S WHY!”

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have acted to aggressively. It’s just that you’re very nice, and no one has been that to me in a long while . Which made me wonder why and I immediately went out to investigate, and then I saw all these papers and statue things and I thought you didn’t like me for me, but for HIM.”

“You know for a god you’re really stupid. I don’t like you for HIM or anything that has to do with that, I kind of like you as you. And I do see a lot of myself in you now too, if I hear what you’re saying.” He did tell me his reason behind it. I could tell he was insecure and probably had dealings like this in the past.

Loki didn’t say anything. He just looked at me with a dazzled face. I started getting a headache and I started seeing little black spots in front of my eyes.

“I think I hit my head pretty hard when you threw me in here.”

“Y/N, you’re as white as a ghost, are you okay?”

The last thing I saw was Loki trying to walk towards me, his lips in a state of yelling.

And then everything went black.

I woke up and I didn’t know whether I was still on my second day of my fieldtrip or if I was at day 30. When I looked around I could tell I was still in Loki’s room. When my eyes got adjusted I could see Loki sitting on the bed.

“Well good morning.” Loki smirked while saying the words.

“What day is it? No wait, is it still day 2 from the trip?”

“Well, Y/N, it’s day 3 now and you just missed lunch. But I need to apologize first. I shouldn’t have leeched out to you like that yesterday and I definitely shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“Okay, thank god. Apology accepted, and I should apologize too. I should’ve told you earlier, but I didn’t see a proper timing since it was only day 2 and we’ve only spoken once you know.” We laughed.

“But Loki, why didn’t you bring me to the “healers hall” ?”

“Your people were still roaming around there, and If I would bring an unconscious Y/N to them, they would most likely go home and bring a bad name to Asgard.”

“And then he and my other son wouldn’t be able to see you any longer.” A woman walked into the room with a tabled of food. I could tell she was the woman that welcomed me and the others to Asgard, which meant SHE was the queen, and Loki’s mother.

“Mother!” Loki growled and turned red.

“No need for your anger Loki. My dear Y/N, since Loki won’t tell, I shall. I was searching for Loki since he did not show up for dinner, and he usually cancels if he’s unavailable. When I entered the room, you have just fainted, and Loki was stressed and told me the whole story. I knew that bringing you back to the healers and your people, would only cause more trouble so we kept you here until you would wake up.”

“Thank you, your majesty.”

“Please call me Frigga.”

“Frigga.” I smiled at her.

“I shall be gone again; my husband wants be to be at his side for something important.” Frigga smiled and left again. And I sat up facing Loki.

“I guess I should go back.”

“Yeah. Just so you know, we told your people that you got shown around by Frigga and that it became too late to return to your chambers, so you stayed in Frigga’s servant’s quarters.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

I returned to my own room and I met the group in the hallway before my room.

“Hey Y/N! Everything okay? We heard you got a tour from the queen herself.” Steve was excited and worried at the same time.

“Hey Steve, yeah I did, but it was too late, so I stayed with the servants until now. But I didn’t get much sleep, so I’ll be taking a little nap before I join the rest of you for dinner.” I smiled and entered my room. I wasn’t sure how I felt just yet. Loki was angry, but also insecure. I understood the reason why he acted so impulsive, but it still made me think.

I fell asleep on my bed.

When I wanted to turn around to the other side a few hours later, I felt my head ending up on a hard chest instead of a soft pillow. I slowly woke up but quickly jumped out of bed.

“How are you feeling?” It was Loki. He wasn’t being sarcastic or cocky, he was genuinely interested.

“I’m okay, the headache and everything is gone. How did you get in here? O no never mind. But watch out when you want to run away this time, the door is still locked.” I giggled.

“HA. HA. Very funny Y/N.” Loki rolled his eyes, but I knew he was enjoying himself from inside.

“How about we continue our conversation from last night over dinner?” Loki looked up at the table. The normal regular table was now packed with food and drinks. He was obviously still trying to make up for yesterday.

“SHIT, did I mis dinner?!”

“Yes you did, it’s around 10PM I guess. But you need to eat.”

We both seated ourselves at the table and started eating.

“You haven’t eaten yet either?”

“No, I was waiting for you to wake up. Frigga told me to keep an eye on you since you hit your head.” “So you watched me sleeping? That isn’t creepy at all…” I thought it was very kind, but I wasn’t going to tell him.

“Yep, and not sorry about it for the record. It’s my duty to make sure all guests will go home the way they arrived.”

“So insecure, depressed and lonely hmmm? I guess you failed one of your guests.” I was being sarcastic but also truthful at the same time. I did feel a lot more secure these 3 days I’ve been here. Still depressed and a bit lonely but who am I to judge. Who knows what I’ll be at day 30.

“They can leave as better people, but they can’t leave worse.” AHAH! I knew enough.

“So, what’s your involvement in all this anyway?”

“My father wants to reveal himself to Midgard and me and my brother are part of that reveal. He rather throws his dashing sons at the Midgardians than himself, since we would be more accepted than he would. Also, the reason why we’re present so much. But I must say I was a bit jealous when Thor came on your first day and telling me he has become friends with a Midgardian. When he described you, and I saw you at the library introduction, I knew YOU were Thor’s “friend”. But I also noticed you had a few things in common with me.”

“Just from seeing me?”

“Yep, I am over a thousand years old, I know similarities when I see them.”

At least Loki was being honest on what he found of me from day 1.

“So after I started eyeing you, and you eyeing me back, I knew there was a little connection. Since I always check up anyone before I actually talk to them I already checked out your room on Midgard on day one you were here. So the whole thing with you here crying. I already knew who you were, but I also noticed that you didn’t see me as HIM.”

It all made sense now. I didn’t agree with some of his choices, but I knew he thought they were genuine.

“Well thanks. I guess… I don’t really know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything, just think about it and eat.”

After we both finished eating all the plates disappeared in a green hue. I was still feeling a bit shy around Loki, but I wasn’t afraid of him or anything. I did see some comparisons when it came to traits.

Loki said his goodbyes and he left the room in also a green hue.

I quickly went to bed afterwards. I was still tired from that headache I had this afternoon when I woke up in Loki’s room.

DAY 4.

I woke up early, naturally. I did get enough sleep yesterday. My headache was completely gone, like nothing ever happened. I got dressed in a dress for a change. It was a short blue dress with pink stones on it. I put on a pair of sandals that I brought, and I just walked to the eating halls. It was so quiet everywhere. I only saw a few servants or soldiers walking around. I lost the way, so I asked the first soldier that I run into where the eating halls were. He was very kind and escorted me to the place I needed to be.

“Thank you very much.”

“No problem milady.” He smiled and then walked away again.

There were very few people already eating, and I noticed it was only 5:30 AM.

I wasn’t yet awake enough to start digging in to the food yet, so I just took something to drink.

I grabbed my phone and airpods and put on some slow music to wake up to. I would usually do this before I would come here, but it seemed that no-one gave a single fuck about it.

When it was 6:30 AM the first groups of people started to arrive. I just kept on playing my music and I waited for my classmates to arrive. I could see Thor in the distance seating himself with some other “muscular people”. If you know what I mean. Both the king and queen arrived shortly after that.

“Good morning Y/N. Did you sleep well?” It was Loki. He seated himself next to me.

“Hey, I was completely awake around 5AM, so that means I had my fair share of sleep that I needed.”

“What are those things in your ears?” So Loki knew of movies and actors and all of that, but you’re telling me he doesn’t know what a phone and some airpods are?

“THIS is a phone, you can call people with it or send messages to them. These things are called airpods. With these things in your ears you can listen to music. Here put them in your ears.” I handed him the pods and he put them in his ears. I put on Ed Sheeran (the A team) since that is my favorite artist. Loki was a bit mesmerized, but he tried not to show it.

“How amazing. And you listen to this all day?”

“Not just this artist or song, there are millions of songs right here on this thing.” I waved with my phone.

“I need to get one of those.”

“Well, they’re pretty expensive, but good luck.” I put my phone and airpods back into my tiny purse.

“I want to show you something in the library if that’s alright?” “I can’t. I believe we’re going into the city today, if I skip that, I might risk being send home.”

“We won’t get caught. I’ll figure something out. Just meet me in the library around 11AM.”

“OK.”

After 30 minutes my classmates started to show up. They were still a bit cautious on how to act around me (and Loki). Steve was keeping a distance. I didn’t know why exactly, but he did wink at me, so I knew it was on purpose.

After everyone was done with breakfast Miss Avery told us to pack our bags since we were going into the city until late at night. I on the other hand was not going with them into the city, I would sneak out of the group and I would go to the library. But when I joined the group Miss Avery looked a bit puzzled.

“And why are you here Miss Y/L/N? You should be in bed.” Obviously, someone had said something to keep me from going.

“Yes, but I just wanted to wish you all fun and I hope I can still go to the city 2 weeks later?”

“Thanks Y/N.” Steve said, and he knew I wasn’t ill or anything.

After all the groups left, I went to the library. Thank god I remembered how to go there.

When I entered, I was still mesmerized by all the books and architecture that was going on in this room.

“Hey, there we have our ill student.” Loki chuckled.

“Yes, what did you tell them I had?”

“I told them you had thrown up everything that you had eaten yesterday and today. Let’s just say they weren’t in the mood to bring along someone that has to puke every 10 minutes.”

“Wow. Okay… So, what did you want to show me?” “History of Asgard and all the other realms involved. Since I am a frostgiant and a god I wanted to give you these books: the history of Asgard and the history of Jotunheim.”

“I didn’t know you were a frostgiant.”

“Well, it’s out now. But don’t tell anyone, only a few people know!”

“Okay, and thank you for the books. They are in English I assume?”

“Yes, the original versions written in runes remain here, but I translated them for you.”

“You did?”

“Yes, just by using some magic. It’s nothing much.”

“Still, thank you for taking the time and effort to translate.”

“Your welcome.”

I threw myself in one of these big chairs and started reading.

“There nothing in here about you and Jotunheim.”

“No, that’s the only little lie in here. Since everyone is allowed to read the books, we couldn’t just put the big secret in here. We just went with the fact that Frigga had me as well. Although there isn’t much resemblance between me and Thor.”

Loki smiled at me. We both sat in the same chair, that’s how big it was. After a while I could tell Loki was getting a bit closer. Up till one point he got even closer and kissed me.

#The fieldtrip #chapter 3 #Loki #loki x reader #loki x you #my fic #student

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spkdnailbats · 3 years

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here's how I know I have good friends-

so my birthday was a little over 3 weeks ago, here is what my 4 best friends got me so far (I say so far bc one of them says there is more on the way ???):

Kayla: cute dice with octopus and glitter in them!! she says I have a dice obsession yet adds to it :')

Jordyn: an avengers backpack, a Loki t-shirt, a Klaus hargreeves Funko pop keychain, and one of those fidget bubble wrap keychains!! they wanted to get me Loki merch before the show came out so I was ahead of the curve, know I'm obsessed with Klaus, knew I didn't have the bag, and knows I'm a fidgety mess (also tried to get me dice but hot topic didn't have any lmao) :')

steph: a bff necklace!! hers is caps shield and mine is buckys logo and they say "I'm with you til the end of the line"... technically it wasn't a bday gift but she said it counts bc she gave it to me like a week after my bday, but she ordered it like 2 months prior on the first day we ever spoke bc we knew we were gonna be marvel besties :')

Sarah: fidget toys!! she got me an infinity cube, a fidget thingy (its like a fidget cube but not cube shaped, it has all the same stuff), a captain america shield spinner, and a mjolnir spinner!! she also low-key called me out too with them which I love (she sent a note with them that said she knows how I was always sorting my dice in zoom classes so she got me new fidget toys to play with and that makes me soft™) (also Sarahs just got here today bc she needed to peep my room to see what I already had, and apparently more is coming bc she's amazing) :')

ANYWAYS- moral of the story is I love my friends and they know me very well <3

#I LOVE MY FRIENDS!!!!!!!!!!!#they really just get me on a deeper level #like fidget toys? marvel merch?? dice??? THEY GET IT #em's personal vent thingy #i tag jords but they never look at my blog and probably wont see this #so hi bitch ily #*cough* jordyn *cough*#ohsweetflips #jordie

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pacitarae · 5 years

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Comic Conventions

Brushed & Flossed

Comic Convention – Woot! Woot! – Sunday, 13 January, 2019

Woohoo! What a ride this week has been! I continued classes with my freshmen and juniors. I started a new class with sophomores. I attended women’s basketball and boys’ soccer matches. I won tickets to Ace Universe Phoenix 2019.

During Friday afternoon’s fifth hour frosh English class I received a call from the principal; I won two tickets to the weekend gathering of comic nerd-dom and all things pop culture. I revel in my geekiness and any opportunity to gather with brother and sister geeks is time well spent.

Darling Son joined me Friday night for a presentation by John Eaves, prop artist extraordinaire. We were almost ready to head home when we discovered a world of more geeky wonders awaited us on the top level. I struck up a conversation with one of the vendors on the main concourse. As Darling Son explored the purchase possibilities of their display I commented on what a nice location he had secured for the convention. He shared there were vendors on the top level who were not getting much foot traffic because many convention patrons did not realize there were exhibitor displays beyond the ground level. Evidently, those vendors made their voices known because I began to notice announcements admonishing conventioneers to visit the exhibits on the upper level. We did. I’m glad we did. That is where I found my copy of an 11”x17” replica of the movie poster for the upcoming Captain Marvel film. Darling Son found a couple of Funko Pops to add to his burgeoning collection, and he also discovered a wonderful print of Captain Rex helmets by Rob Taylor and his Herofied Art.

Another first: Darling Son decided to begin collecting patches for a jacket. I told him that I already had a patch jacket; since I was wearing it at the time, it was quite evident. He didn’t even look up from his search for the perfect three patches to commence his collection. He just said, “That’s a travel jacket, Mom. You need a geek jacket.” I concurred. With special convention pricing of three patches for twenty dollars, the three fandoms he selected to honor are Star Wars, a mash-up of Jurassic Park/World & Aliens, and Big Bang Theory. I joined hime by starting my collection with a Ravenclaw crest from Harry Potter, an anti-demon possession glyph from Supernatural, and a stylized Black Widow symbol from Marvel. Hence, we did our due diligence of supporting exhibitors with our small purchases at art, toy, and miscellaneous booths.

Yesterday was a solo con day for me as Darling Son had other plans. Before we went our separate ways for our scheduled day, we went shoe shopping. Now I totally understand what my Darling Mom meant when she said, “You’re growing like a weed!” Growing kids means purchasing new shoes and clothes. Aarrgghh! I don’t know how she did it with three kids; I have a heck of a time doing it for one kid. $$$$$$$

As we entered our first shoe shopping stop the clerk commented on my t-shirt. He courteously greeted us and then joked that he took exception to my shirt: “That’s not R2-D2!” I was wearing one of my all time favorite geek tees: a depiction of a Dalek with the inscription, “OMG! R2-D2! I loved him in Star Trek!” One would have to be a fan, or at least knowledgeable of, three fandoms to understand the shirt: Star Trek, Star Wars, and Dr. Who. I had worn it in honor of seeing David Tennant as one of the honored guests of Saturday’s Ace Universe comic convention. Upon reflection, I wonder if I am a geek snob. I don’t think so. I’m always willing to talk about or answer questions about my fandoms. That must be the teacher in me as well as the geek in me. Goodness knows, there are far too many fandoms to keep up with all the hot and happening goings on in popular culture. I often ask Darling Son for fandom references. My little know-it-all does not know it all as he frequently admonishes me that no one can know everything about all the options in pop culture. I get that. Yet, I also recognize that fans with different interests will have knowledge I don’t have. I ask questions because I truly want to know. My curiosity may spawn a new personal interest; it may simply engender a simple, “Oh, that’s cool.” Whatever the reaction, it is awesome to share ideas with other fans.

Today I get to geek out with other fans of Tom Hiddleston and his representation of Loki in the wonderful world of Marvel’s Cinematic Universe. Today I also get to haul student essays to the convention. Darling Son will join me so I will be able to bring a bag of grading with me. Thus far this weekend, I’ve managed to ignore the work I need to do. I refuse to miss Tom Hiddleston, so my solution is to bring the work with me. When I have to get up and move and stretch, I am able to leave stuff with him to secure our seats. One of the things I miss at this convention is that there is no space for sitting and working/eating/veging that is not in arena style seating. There are no tables. There are a very few spaces for standing and eating or perusing materials.

So, with all this great stuff at Ace Universe, how is it different from the early summer Phoenix Fan Fusion (formerly known as Phoenix Comicon and Phoenix Fan Fest)? One of the big differences is price. Two adults can attend Phoenix Fan Fusion for the price of one general admission to Ace’s convention. Phoenix Fan Fusion is longer: Ace Universe is one evening and two weekend days. Phoenix Fan Fusion is four days and three nights of events. Ace Universe provides space for exhibitors. Phoenix Fan Fusion provides two exhibit halls (one is titled “Hall of Heroes”). Ace Universe spotlights a single headliner or group of headliners for a large number of people in a large space. Phoenix Fan Fusion provides a large headliner hall and multiple special interest presentations in convention style scheduling. So, what is the take away here? If you have plentiful disposable income, by all means, attend Ace Universe. It is a fun time filled with great headliners and motivating music. If your entertainment budget dollars need to stretch, wait for Memorial Day and Phoenix Fan Fusion. Regardless, you will have a good time if you geek out over pop culture and you are surrounded by fellow fans.

#52WeeksOfWriting #comicon #ace universe

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 3 years

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I’m finishing up a custom Funko Jonathan Pine from The Night Manager for @hippodameia8527 and I needed something to watch while I worked on it the other night, but I also don’t really want to stream or download anything for several more days because we’re closer to our data cap than I’d like...and what do you know, I already had the first two episodes of The Night Manager because I downloaded them literal years ago and never got around to watching them.

so far I have only a few main thoughts, and the main one is, watching this has actually...made me more excited about the Loki show? because--we’re getting something like this, kind of! I mean obviously there’s no guarantee the script or directing/editing choices will be at all similar, but like...it’s an entire show, with Loki as the main character, played by somebody who really cares about this character and who is really fucking good at conveying an incredible amount of emotion through pretty subtle expressions. we’ve already seen that a lot in the MCU and he didn’t even have that much screen time, and now he’s going to have a whole bunch of it. and--the thing about The Night Manager is, it really plays to his strengths in these areas, like there’s one scene where he realizes he’s been given some incriminating and therefore very dangerous documents, and the whole tenor of the scene changes through not much more than the way he goes still and his breathing hitches a little. even in just the first two episodes, too, there were a lot of tight closeups, because he can actually carry those, unlike some actors who just kinda make you want to look away from the camera in secondhand embarrassment?

so what’s striking to me about The Night Manager is that the people making it recognized his pretty extraordinary talent for subtlety and leaned on it, and even if the Loki show doesn’t take advantage of those skills to the same extent, it’s still...I mean, he’s the star. the show’s riding on him. the showrunners have every reason to recognize those strengths and bank on them. and just by virtue of Tom being Tom and how much he did with a comparatively tiny amount of screen time in the MCU--or, say, how he managed to convey a shitload of emotion in the Ragnarok scene with Odin despite having been given zero lines--we’re basically guaranteed to get that again here, only a lot more of it just because he’ll have so many more opportunities to show what Loki’s feeling. I’m sure I won’t be thrilled with every little thing that happens in the show, but I think I can be pretty confident that Tom at least has played Loki with nuance and care, and...that’s important, you know?

anyway.

other thoughts basically boil down to:

I’m a bad person because I watched Pine get beat up and then later when another dude threatened to torture him but I was pretty sure from reading episode synopses that no such thing ever actually happens, my reaction was legit disappointment

Elizabeth Debicki is one of the love interests in this and so far I mostly enjoy that she is Very Tall, in fact she is an entire inch taller than Tom which is very very funny to me, but more important in this case is that she also played Ayesha in GotG2 (and will do so again in GotG3, according to IMDB), and although this was kind of a waste because a) all that gold facepaint made all her people look virtually identical and b) she was barely a character, the fact that her character and Tom’s character are paired off in TNM makes me want something with Ayesha and Loki because I just think that kind of thing is fun.

hey past me? yeah, hi, I would just like to ask WHY DID YOU ONLY DOWNLOAD THE FIRST TWO EPISODES, THANKS A LOT FOR THAT

#the night manager #loki show #tom hiddleston #loki #marvel cinematic universe #elizabeth debicki #jonathan pine #kyra watches #lol have I even used that tag before?

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 5 years

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today was the first day actually bringing Hazy to dog training and it went...okay? but it was still stressful for both of us and I’m still overwhelmed by how much I don’t know and the homework I need to do and how I can scale what I’m learning to environments where she goes from zero to YELL too fast for me to catch her at the beginning. also I’m tired because I did everything right and got to bed at a good time and spent almost 9 hours in bed but also woke up early for no reason. and now I need to do lots of things but my brain’s just like “nope, we did one thing today already, we’re closed now, literally anything else is overwhelming”

but just aside from all the things I need to do at some point that keep getting put off (various projects, reorganizing my room, finally listing stuff on eBay so I can get rid of it, buying the last computer parts I need to upgrade, organizing my goddamn backups so I can upgrade when I get the parts, organizing my goddamn files in general because nearly everything I’ve written in the last 3+ years is a mess, saving stuff I might want from Tumblr, working on Alaska Gothic, going through my books, unfucking my Tumblr description, unfucking iTunes, finishing and posting stuff in my drafts folder, putting nice stickers on my planner and new netbook, figuring out an inventory solution for the ludicrous amount of Funko figures I have for parts and/or resale, finding a goddamn therapist so that maybe I can get my brain to function better, etc. etc. etc.), I should really

read today’s dog-training handout so I at least know what the homework is

work with Hazy on...something...?? fuck me I don’t know, I guess I need to work on reliably capturing her attention when I say her name, and probably also “leave it,” but did I mention I don’t fucking know what I’m doing

figure out a journal method for her reactions to stuff, which I should have started a week ago and didn’t because I couldn’t figure out how I wanted to do it, so I guess I need to experiment with the apps/sites I found

also, find more/better treats, because what I used today was gross

call my legislators about *gestures vaguely at everything but especially the bullshit national emergency declaration*

call or write to my state legislators about Dunleavy’s bullshit budget proposal

call the dealership where I got my car to see if I have any remaining free oil changes, because they confused me

email CNN to ask why the fuck they’re paying so much attention to Howard Schultz

fucking...write a quick post about Stuff I DId In 2018, it’s the middle of February, this is ridiculous (but there were a lot of firsts in 2018 so that’s why I still want to write it down)

take silly action figure photos

send the thing to the life insurance company!! it’s worth $50!! just fucking do it!!!

put together the cat tree, or anyway see if it’s going to work because if not I should try to return it and order a different one

semi-related: try to figure out ways to get my cat to drink more water, because urinalysis shows he does not have kidney issues like the vet thought he might based on his blood work but also he’s probably somewhat dehydrated

type notebooks!! for fuck’s sake!!! there’s at least one fic I think is fairly close to being done but I don’t know because it’s not all in one place! and several others that I can’t really work on for basically the same reason! and then maybe I could even write something!

finish my Avengers Academy custom figures. for fuck’s sake.

buy Nendoroid Loki because fuck it (also, try not to be too irritated with myself for not buying the PS4 Spider-Man bundle when it was $200 during the holidays, which is at least $100 less than what it’s going for now, and I keep finding free PS4 games I’d like to try but can’t--honestly the smart thing would be to wait for the PS5 and get that on sale since I think then I could get rid of my PS3, but that’s gonna be a while and I’m annoyed at Past Me again for not jumping on a really good deal, but anyway if I buy Nendoroid Loki now I can at least not be mad at Past Me about that in the future)

probably something else I’m forgetting, because my brain is even more like a sieve lately than usual

and I have the energy and motivation for hmmmm none of those things, I just want to cuddle Hazy and do nothing difficult and play games

#for future reference #bad adult

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 6 years

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List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or as little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on.

This can be writing, art, vids, gifsets, fanwork, or original work!

I was tagged by @veliseraptor--thanks!

fanfic

this is reminding me that I really need to get around to updating my existing WIP page, because it’s way too long and detailed and also it’s not really accurate, largely because it’s too long and detailed so it’s cumbersome as hell. so that’s...yet another thing I should be doing that I haven’t done. fics I’m actually actively working on, though, or should be, or really for real keep meaning to do:

final chapter of the kindness of strangers, which is probably 3/4 written and has been for a very long time but I need to edit and finish it, and figure out what I want to do with Yondu, because I had him show up in this chapter mostly because I really disliked him and then GotG2 came along and made me like him, sigh

edit and start posting the rest of going down to nowhere, because I wrote the first chapter for MCU AU Fest this summer and then actually finished the fic in November for Marvel Big Bang but it was basically an exercise in my brain constantly screaming, and I just. haven’t gotten back to it. @portraitoftheoddity assured me that it doesn’t actually suck but I know it needs quite a bit of work and I just keep...not getting around to doing that

this

a little post-Ragnarok whump, which I honestly did start before reading Aftereffects although you’d be forgiven for thinking otherwise given that the inciting incident is basically the same

haha so waaaaaay back in 2011 I fucked up on a Graveyard Book fic for Yuletide and didn’t finish (I posted, uh, 185 words) or properly default, leading to a super-last-minute pinch hit, and this stupid fic has basically haunted me ever since because it’s still on AO3, unfinished, so it’s also been in my WIP list for years because I keep meaning to go back and finish it. I actually wrote a little recently for the first time in years, but then I basically got stuck again for the same reason I got stuck in 2011, which is, what the fuck is a 14-year-old boy in modern England with “some money” but no home, no living relatives, almost no formal schooling, and very very few records of his existence supposed to do with himself so he doesn’t just end up indefinitely living on the streets

I only ended up posting a couple chapters of my Marvel Heroes fic and kept vaguely meaning to come back with more, and then the game was going to shut down, and then it abruptly shut down even sooner than it was supposed to, and I was sad, so I started writing at least one more chapter about that

a little Infinity War speculation

“MCU Steve is both furious and depressed about the Hydra Cap thing” part 2, now with Loki, which obviously should have been finished back when it was relevant but then it kind of turned into “Loki fucks up the alt-right and everyone connected to them” wish fulfillment, so...I still do want to finish that

a fic somewhat based on a pre-Ragnarok-release post by @theotherodinson about Thor on Sakaar as a fighter and running into an amnesiac Loki who hasn’t been seen since Svartalfheim and who was one of the Grandmaster’s favorite pets until he lost favor

crafts

more female Shepards for Etsy commissions

more unmasked Power Rangers to list on Etsy

I got a nice 12-inch Wonder Woman action figure but she didn’t come with a shield, and then I picked up a less nice Barbie Wonder Woman on clearance because she did have a shield, but it looks cheap so I want to repaint it to look more like Diana’s shield in the movie

repainting Titan Heroes Loki and giving him a cape so he looks better, which would probably be done by now except it turned out to be not as simple as I expected because the gold paint didn’t look right and now it won’t come off the plastic where I messed up

Funko black suit Loki

Funko Avengers Academy Thor

plenty of other things that stalled out at various stages for various reasons, like a 3.75-inch figure of my Sith Inquisitor, and a 3.75-inch Jotun Loki, and a Funko Jotun Loki that I actually haven’t started but should because it really wouldn’t be that complicated

cosplay for ECCC

genderbent Avengers Academy Loki, for which I think I have all the parts except some kind of staff and dark green leggings or socks, so otherwise I just need to...work on it. replace the blazer’s buttons or paint them gold, tear out the shoulder pads and then probably stitch up the shoulders a little because they’ll look weird, put fake fur on the collar

AoU Wanda, for which I think I also have all the parts except the legwarmer things but probably long black socks would work fine instead, and I also need to get together some rings and necklaces and figure out what color nail polish she wears, and cut down the boots

committing to something else or committing to just doing two cosplays for ECCC and not worrying about doing others, which...would probably be smart at this point considering there’s not much time left and I’d still need to figure out pretty much everything for anything on those lists, and considering it would all require explanation, I’m not sure it’s worth the effort. although I might still try the sorta-punk Wonder Woman thing

misc

bot posts for The Hope Jar, which means I need to figure out how to make a simple Twitter bot that just posts prewritten tweets at assigned intervals, which I have no idea how to do

type up everything in notebook and reorganize files of writing stuff

Tagging, ummm...I have no idea who’s already done this. @portraitoftheoddity, @jaggedcliffs, @gaslightgallows, @turianosauruswrex, @theotherodinson, @daihell, @koipepper? as usual, only if you feel like doing it.

#ideally I'd be working on one of these things right now but uh #I mean I did pack up an Etsy commission #also I spent half of today pretty much useless because of an unusually bad headache so...#that's my excuse for not being more productive I guess #cosplay #fanfic #adventures in customizing #writing

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thelightofthingshopedfor · 7 years

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WIP meme

Tagged by @inochell, thanks!

Do This: List all the things you’re currently working on in as much or as little detail as you’d like, then tag some friends to see what they’re working on. This can be writing, art, gifsets, whatever.

I think everybody’s heard me complaining about various projects but here’s the rundown again if anyone, uh, isn’t already tired of me complaining about them...? But here’s a little more detail.

Painting/customizing:

~secret project~ that I kind of need to finish tomorrow

Etsy commission: Jefferson from Once Upon a Time. Still need to finish painting the body (Sherlock), probably cut more off the hat, figure out how to make the hat fit on Sherlock’s head, go back with my rotary tool and carve off the top of Sherlock’s head if necessary, paint the hat, and put everything together

more Pride Cap necklaces (asexual for @erlkonigstochter, agender for @lukeskywalkersbutt, and then I’d probably be smart if I painted at least one more each of ace and LGBT+ rainbow)

Etsy commission, two for the same person: Dayna Mellanby from the show Blake’s 7 (Hiller head, April O’Neil body; need to repaint eyelashes again and hope I get it right this time and do...all the repainting for the body) and a WWI soldier (Jay Garrick head because he’s literally the only Funko figure with the right helmet, War Doctor body, various bits from my stash)

Batwoman Funko (repainted Impopster Harley Quinn) to list on Etsy, probably under the same “most of the profits go to an LGBT+ charity” thing

Fic (there’s more in my WIP list but I guess these are the active ones):

the kindness of strangers still needs a final chapter where Loki and Gamora meet up again, and a lot of it’s already written but I need to like, stitch everything together...and I also probably need to rewrite some of the scene I wrote with Yondu, because I really disliked him after the first movie and wrote the scene accordingly but then Vol. 2 made me like him more and I’m grumpy about it (for real though, GotG2 did so many things with characterization that still weren’t necessarily enough but should have happened in, you know, the movie that introduced us to these characters so we’d care about them)

the rest of my 2016 Yuletide fic, with Alice and Hatter visiting Wonderland again mostly so I can fill in the plot/worldbuilding holes that bugged me

Hydra Cap Garbage 2: The Garbaging (the original fic didn’t involve Loki because it was just a one-off with Steve and the rest of the team, but stuff happened and I decided to do an actual sequel that includes me trying to be concise for once about how Loki is kind of an honorary Avenger now for backstory reasons, so basically in this it’s been about a year since the rumor started, Steve is upset and Loki doesn’t want Steve to be upset, so he decides he’s going to scare off some neo-Nazi punks, and there is...probably not that much left to write? but I don’t know when I’ll actually finish it because DEADLINES. for obvious reasons it would be ideal if I could finish this before Secret Empire bullshit is finally done so I suppose I should really look up when that is, as much as I’d rather pretend the whole thing just isn’t happening)

MCU AU Fest fic I can’t talk about in detail because anonymous exchange but uh, I’m sure you’ve all seen me tooth-gnashing and garment-rending over this

sequel to in a better time you could be my friend, where Clint remembers everything just in time to learn that Loki died on Svartalfheim…and then, helping out with the post-TDW cleanup, finds an only mostly dead Loki in an abandoned building near the Thames. also no idea when this might be posted because I haven’t written a lot yet and, you know, DEADLINES.

Avengers Academy: Friendship Is Magic: Loki is simultaneously too prideful and too insecure to be a good co-conspirator, but that doesn’t mean Amora can’t find a use for him–as long as she can make sure he’s on her side. Unfortunately for her, the non-evil students may have already beaten her to it. I’ve been working on this on and off for...I don’t know, a long time, because I hadn’t even finished all the main story content when I started writing it and I think we’d only had one or two events. I’m going to use this for WIP Big Bang because it’s been “almost done” for months and I need to finish the damn thing while there’s still a relevant fandom to read it, although now that I’ve already written most of it I’m not totally sure if I want Amora to be as nasty as I’ve written her, ha ha whoops. also I don’t quite know how to end it.

a short post-CW fic where Tony and Vision talk about Wanda while boxing up some of her stuff for safekeeping, mostly because I want an excuse to make Tony remember she’s a person, not a walking time bomb or whatever

other ficlets that I meant to crank out in one or two sittings but didn’t, like the one where Loki accidentally ends up with a dog, and anyway I need to go fall asleep now

Tagging, um... @veliseraptor, @jaggedcliffs, @theotherodinson, @not-poignant, and @castillon02, if any of you feel like it. also anyone else who sees this and wants to do it.

#writing #fanfic #marvel cinematic universe #loki #memes #adventures in customizing

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