Gordon has a new detective, freshly transferred to his department, who Will Not Stop Making Death Puns

And he's about ready to commit murder.

The man is very, very good at his job. He seems to stumble across evidence without realizing what he's doing, and freaks out suspects at interrogation tables by bringing up crap his wife and husband do that perfectly mirrors the suspect's story, and then points out the inconsistencies.

He is quickly becoming the most hated man in the department, in terms of who criminals hate.

Great news, Gordon's 100% sure he isn't corrupted.

Bad news, Gordon's 100% sure of that because he keeps easily outing corrupted cops with an ease that makes Gordon feel like he's been wasting time all these years.

So when Batman pisses Gordon off just a little too much, goes over his head one too many times, Gordon decides "fuck it, he get's to deal with Detective Daniel Foley."

But as he's walking away, as Foley starts to hand over the files, he hears the most Dreaded Phrase that man can ever say.

"Ya know, my wife-"

Basically Danny is married to Sam and Tucker, both he and Sam took Tucker's last name, and Danny is a modern Columbo.

Only he speaks to ghosts for easy cheat codes to evidence.

@simplestoryteller

Best Husband Wife Funny Jokes, Nok-Jhok

Best Husband Wife Funny Jokes, Nok-Jhok

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Sorry Aziraphale, but Mesopotamia Crowley? She's mine. You snooze you lose

PAC IS SO RIGHT WHY IS HE ALWAYS CONSIDERED THE WIFE IN FITPAC??? FIT IS THE WIFE IN THIS RELATIONSHIP AND I'M TIRED OF PEOPLE PRETENDING HE'S THE HUSBAND

HC- Jack like people with long curly hair.

hannibal bagged such a good husband cuz WHAT DO U MEEAANN that Will regretted not running away with him and couldn't let him go yet so he built his own fucking boat, sailed to Florence KNOWING, SENSING he would be there, FORGAVE HIM and didn't meet him face to face UNTIL he learned more about Hannibal by literally going to Hannibal's home to understand him more??? all that after Hannibal stabbed him and killed his surrogate daughter after making Will believe she is dead and framed Will for her death????&!#)€(

au where like keith spent those two years on the space whale and allura brought shiro back to life but they still can’t go back to earth. shiro has gone grey, no black hair on his head, he’s retired and stays on the castle, does not pilot a lion. keith and lance are now like the “leaders” of the team. like keith relies heavily on lance support and lance thrives in the sort of co-leader dynamic they have. pidge casually referring to “dad” and lance being like “shiro or keith??” and pidge going “shiro is retired and has a full head of white hair. who do you think i’m talking about?” so shiro has been promoted from space dad to space grandpa and lance and keith are now mom and dad

I keep saying that my dream Fire Emblem game would be a Tellius sequel where you play as a group of branded trying to establish their desert nation, and that I would want Soren there as a guest character/the adult Tiki of the game.

The question is: with the modern FE games having an obsession with player romance, could you, the player, marry adult Soren?

My answer is YES regardless of gender, but the catch is you have to deal with constant reminders that you're the second wife (first wife being Ike) and you're not even the favorite.

I swear they are a married couple, sir. /j

I FUCKING LOVE IZZY HANDS

JESUS CHRIST

lesbians get to say "we're gfs/wives" and gay men get to say "we're bfs/husbands" but straight people are stuck saying "we're bf AND gf" or "we're husband AND wife" like LOSERS!!!

I find it really silly how ive seen people say that they dont understand inter system relationships when we have,,, so meny.

-🎃system

!

the times that lxl acted like a married couple

and the one time they were actually married

forgetting which of the OCs are lesbians and which are bisexual because the insane dykery and problematic sexuality is so strong in all of them. hashtag feminism.