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zargsnake · 1 year

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Through a Blackened Mirror

Chapter 4: The Brier

Word Count: 9833 Links: Chapter 1, Table of Contents

* * *

“Soon a brier hedge began to grow all around the castle, and it grew higher each year. Eventually, it surrounded and covered the entire castle, so that it was no longer visible. Not even the flag on the roof could be seen. The princess became known by the name Beautiful Sleeping Brier Rose, and a tale about her began circulating throughout the country. From time to time princes came and tried to break through the hedge and get to the castle. However, this was impossible because the thorns clung together tightly as though they had hands, and the young men got stuck there. Indeed, they could not pry themselves loose and died miserable deaths.”

-- “Brier Rose,” translated by Jack Snipes

* * *

Obi-Wan’s wandering thoughts are interrupted when his master joins him for breakfast. The Padawan looks up at him winningly, then frowns. “You are troubled, Master.”

“I sense a most curious disturbance in the Force,” Qui-Gon tells him. Obi-Wan pours him caf from a container on the table. “Thank you, Obi-Wan. I feel as though a great power has fallen into the grasp of the Dark Side.”

“The Dark Side?” The words are strange in Obi-Wan’s mouth.

“Yes.”

“But Master, the Sith are gone.”

“Padawan, the Dark Side is bigger than the Sith. Just as the Light Side is bigger than the Jedi. The Dark Side lives on, even as the Sith do not.”

He drinks his caf.

“... Pirates?” Obi-Wan guesses.

“Yes, partially. It lives on in many places. Far more than the Jedi like to think about. In fact, there are traces of it in almost every living heart.”

Obi-Wan makes a face of disgust and bewilderment. “If you say so, Master.”

Qui-Gon is as charmed as ever by his student. “Maybe not in yours.”

Obi-Wan smiles vainly. “I should hope not. But what are we to do about this?”

“Patience. I shall think more on this. Open your mind to it, too -- see if you can help me.”

“Yes, Master.” He is not sure how to obey, but he will.

* * *

34 Years in the Past

A kniilwasp -- red, shiny, fast, barely a centimeter long but, for its stings, one of the nastiest bugs that lives on Coruscant -- flies through one of the high windows of the auditorium, buzzes idly for a moment, then flies a hundred yards in a rapid, straight line, down to the youngest of the younglings gathered, and stings Mace Windu right on the cheek. And though the little boy is barely two, he does not scream. He gasps a little, and glares at the bug. If looks could kill, the bug would evaporate. They can’t, but Mace can. In a flash he grabs the bug from the air and crushes it between his tiny fingers.

Sheev sits hundreds of rows behind him in the Temple Patrons section, but his powerful 11-year-old eyes can see what happened. He is startled and angry at the baby’s skill, but at least that is preferable to being bored. He looks over thousands of heads to glare at the little one. It wasn’t easy to locate that kniilwasp and compel it toward the Jedi. For all the effort it took, he expected he would be able to sting at least three of the little bastards. At least now his target has narrowed. He stretches out his feelings toward the wasps’ nest again.

Ashla Auditorium seats seven thousand people, and nearly every seat is occupied today. The first two thousand seats are Jedi, an incredible number: most of the residents of the Temple next door, and hundreds more from around the galaxy.

Younglings and their supervisors sit in the very front; everyone is amazed at their good behavior. The few fussy ones are escorted away with such discretion that they are nearly invisible. Behind them, the Council sits in large chairs on their own dais. There are more empty chairs on the Council dais than anywhere else in the room.

Behind them, knights sit with their Padawans and special guests. Sheev ponders the variety of these lucky few. Some are the type he would expect: a princess from Heela, a praetor from Dinto, at least eight Senators and eleven Representatives. They must have befriended the Jedi sent to protect them, or worked with them on some affair of the state. The other guests take Sheev by surprise. A farmboy, barely scrubbed clean minutes before he arrived. An unranked soldier wearing a bulky, humming backpack which powers the barbaric droid arm she uses in place of her own severed limb. A bounty hunter in disguise. Sheev wonders if her Jedi companion is unaware of her true nature, or if she is aware, and this is all some noble attempt to reform her. How did such people as these get better seats than he did -- he, Sheev Palpatine, whose father donated six million credits to the Temple last year and sponsored three Padawans? It just isn’t fair.

The second kniilwasp reaches that black toddler again, but Mace grabs it from the air before it can sting him. Sheev curses under his breath and looks around for an easier target.

He sees the middle row of tweenage Jedi younglings, sitting very still, three or four of them squirming a little. He ought to be among them. He still remembers the day the knight came to his house to whisk him away. He was not quite three, and they had -- of course -- detected his Force sensitivity. But Sheev fooled them. He hid his powers completely, and even his super-senses, strong as they were, were completely unknowable to the knight. He had shushed the Force -- he had censured it, controlled it, forbid it from giving away their secret bond.

At such a young age, most people will adapt to anything, and most Jedi at that age feel compelled beyond their control to follow the knight who collects them. But not Sheev. He did not trust them, and he was not passive. He has kept his powers secret ever since. He wonders if they have stricken his name from their records, or at least forgotten about him. He hopes so.

Three people walk onto the stage to a round of warm applause. Two tall and handsome Jedi -- a bearded, black-haired Master and his youthful Padawan -- and an elderly Twi’lek woman. Though she walks gracefully and proudly, Sheev can tell that she is a vagrant. There is just something in her air. The Jedi obviously dug her off the streets. The three of them sit on plain black chairs on the stage, and the inferior two defer to the knight.

Dooku could project his voice without the use of a microphone, but in order not to frighten or confuse the non-Jedi in the audience, he uses the technology provided.

“Jedi, honored guests. Welcome to class.”

The crowd laughs.

“When my Padawan and I discovered Pearl Yazabi and witnessed firsthand the miracle of a real Oracle, I began to devise in my head a plan to gather all our younglings around to see her. What classroom would be big enough? How could I make room in all their schedules? Little did I know, young Jinn had something far more ambitious in mind.”

The crowd laughs again.

“As so often is the case, the wisdom of the student excelled that of the Master. And so, each and every one of you owes your presence here today to Qui-Gon Jinn.”

Qui-Gon bows his head, smiling, as seven thousand people applaud him.

“Pearl, my lady. How are you?”

“I am fine.”

Sheev supposes that the easy, nonplussed attitude of the Jedi on either side of her is infectious. It is not likely that she is naturally this calm. Dooku gestures at a thin rod suspended horizontally in front of them on stage. Three silver balls are balanced on the rod.

“Which of these balls will fall first?”

Pearl looks at the three balls carefully, and all the Force-sensitive younglings sit up at once -- including, far removed from the others, Sheev. They can all detect a certain crackling, humming frequency in the Force centered around this woman. When she speaks, her voice is layered with an uncountable number of other voices, though altogether they are no louder than a normal voice.

“𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕠𝕟 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕝𝕖𝕗𝕥 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥.”

“I do hope it falls during the course of the lesson.”

“𝕀𝕥 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝.” Pearl smiles at him, and when she next speaks, her voice is back to that of one warbling woman. “Don’t worry.”

“Padawan. Speak of how we came to meet Pearl, and how her gift saved both our lives.”

In a soft, peaceful, proud voice that will, from this day on, become greatly sought-after but never again make such a public appearance, Qui-Gon expertly tells the assembled crowd the tale of their latest thrilling adventure. He explains that, as they were rescuing fifty miners from a collapsed tunnel on Kessel, Pearl’s guiding words helped them know who to follow, which direction to turn, and how, in a pivotal moment of terrifying trust, she advised Dooku to destroy a load bearing column which caused a chain reaction that created a narrow path out -- when it could have just as easily spelled doom for them all.

Sheev finds his third kniilwasp far more successful. He stings five middle-grade Jedi and two upper-graders, and he dares to approach the Council dais.

Master Yoda glances at the bug. It seems to blip out of existence.

Sheev holds his hand over his mouth in shock. His father looks at him sideways.

When Qui-Gon finishes his story, Dooku continues, “Of course, like all things in our mortal understanding of the Force -- and here is where the lesson begins, so: younglings, pay attention; honored guests, bear with us; and Padawans, ignore everything I say and do the opposite.”

The Jedi laugh harder at the joke than the non-Jedi.

“Like all things in our mortal understanding of the Force, Oracles are fallible. If the Force created a being who could answer any question, and know any fact about the future, their powers would create such an imbalance that evil would rush in to fill the gaps.

“For example, say an Oracle appeared in the realm of a king, and their prophecies saved many lives. But all kings have rivals, and one of them would inevitably grow jealous and steal the Oracle away for himself, which would lead to a war.

“Or say an Oracle knew a terrible truth about the future, but they were frightened to be the bearer of bad news, and so they lied, which is one of the greatest evils, since it always spirals into something worse.

“And therefore, the Force made it so that Oracles are imperfect, and everyone understands them to be imperfect. This imperfection lessens their desirability to the powerful, and it lessens the burden on their shoulders to always appease. If an Oracle recognizes that there is a chance that even their clearest prophecy is false, then they should have no shame in confessing it, and no desire to lie, no matter how terrible the prediction. The burden of proof is not on the Oracle themself, but on their interpreters. The burden falls on us, the Jedi.”

The crowd applauds, which takes Dooku off-guard. He looks at Qui-Gon with an expression that asks, “Am I rambling?” and Qui-Gon’s face assures him that he is doing fine.

And yet, when Dooku opens his mouth to continue on about the virtues of caution, Qui-Gon interrupts him.

“Pearl, who will be the most important person in the next fifty years?”

The whole audience is hushed.

“What do you mean by ‘important,’ son?” Pearl asks after a moment.

Qui-Gon barely thinks about it. “Who will influence the greatest number of people?”

Pearl looks down at her hands. This is one of those “big questions” that people always throw at her. Such questions often awaken a spring of -- something in her mind, something that isn’t really herself. When she is on her own, she avoids thinking about such things. Not only is it exhausting, but it is a little scary, even after all this time, to feel like something else is sharing your own body and mind with you.

But she knew this was coming. This is why these nice young men took her away from her hovel and gave her things to eat and wear. So she is grateful for her power, for making her worth their while.

The Force-sensitive children lean forward in sync again, as the Force grows hot and sparking around her and within the whole room. This time, even the Masters on the Council cannot hide their fascination.

“𝕀 𝕤𝕖𝕖 𝕒 𝕗𝕒𝕔𝕖, 𝕒 𝕗𝕒𝕔𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕚𝕤 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖, 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕖 𝕘𝕒𝕝𝕒𝕩𝕪. ℍ𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕝𝕜𝕤 𝕠𝕟 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕘𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕕, 𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕤 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕦𝕘𝕙 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕣𝕤, 𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕠𝕦𝕔𝕙𝕖𝕤 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖 𝕡𝕖𝕠𝕡𝕝𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕟 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕙𝕒𝕤, 𝕠𝕣 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝. 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕓𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕥𝕙 𝕠𝕗 𝕙𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕦𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖...𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕞𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕓𝕝𝕖. ℍ𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕚𝕟 𝕒 𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕠𝕟 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕖𝕤 𝕒𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖...𝕋𝕨𝕠 𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕠𝕟...𝕋𝕖𝕟 𝕞𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕚𝕠𝕟.”

“How can this be?” asks Dooku.

“𝕀𝕥 𝕚𝕤. 𝔸𝕟𝕕...𝕙𝕖 𝕚𝕤...𝕒 𝕜𝕚𝕝𝕝𝕖𝕣.”

The children gasp, as do many of the non-Jedi in the back, though the knights and Padawans remain calm.

“𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕪𝕖𝕥...𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕗𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕙𝕚𝕞. 𝕄𝕠𝕤𝕥 𝕠𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕟𝕠𝕥, 𝕒𝕟𝕪𝕨𝕒𝕪.”

“What sort of nature is he?”

“ℍ𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕠𝕗 𝕒 𝕘𝕠𝕠𝕕 𝕟𝕒𝕥𝕦𝕣𝕖.”

Qui-Gon smiles, quite satisfied, quite proud. His master looks at him carefully, and he could almost forget that there are seven thousand less important people in the room. He can practically see the cogs whirring in Qui-Gon’s head, riddling Pearl’s meaning, thinking of the best questions. He knows his prophecy-loving Padawan will probably never be this happy again. He lets Qui-Gon ask anything he wants. This day is for him.

“What planet does he hail from?”

Pearl looks down at her hands again. She feels that the moment of power is slipping away from her.

“ℍ𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕝𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞...ℍ𝕖 𝕙𝕒𝕚𝕝𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕒 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕟𝕖𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕕𝕠𝕖𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕖𝕩𝕚𝕤𝕥.”

Everyone says “Oooooooh,” and Qui-Gon raises his eyebrows. Dooku can barely hold in his laughter at how thoroughly enchanted his Padawan has become. If this woman told Qui-Gon to jump off the Temple’s highest tower, to abandon everything and live as a hermit, to join the Sith Order itself, the boy might very well obey her.

“Can you tell us his name?”

Pearl pauses, and when she speaks, many of the voices have faded away, though more than a dozen still remain, overwhelming her own soft, elderly speech.

“𝔹𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕠.”

“Bingo?!”

The audience bursts into laughter and applause. Dooku joins them. Qui-Gon gestures with his arms to shush everyone before her magic slips away completely. All the Force-sensitives in the audience can tell that she is growing physically weary of this vision, though her spirit remains excited to keep at it.

“Bingo what?”

Qui-Gon has not stopped smiling, even though the time is drawing to a close. His smile has just gotten sadder.

“𝔹𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕠...𝔽𝕠𝕠𝕥.”

“Bingo Foot.”

He starts to applaud, to graciously draw the prophecy to a close. Everyone joins in, including Dooku. Seven thousand people clap and cheer; one of the feistiest Padawans stands up in ovation, and her friends follow suit until the whole audience is on its feet. The thrill of the moment, the rapture of so many thousands, is enough to fill the hole in Qui-Gon’s heart that the end of the prophecy created.

“Incredible. Incredible.” Qui-Gon adjusts his mic and runs his hand through his hair, his heart beating madly, dizzyingly happy. He looks at Pearl and they lock eyes in a perfect moment of deep understanding. They are opposites in nearly every way, but their souls feel so close in the Force. They laugh again, easy, gentle. “I think, perhaps, your gift began to take its leave before you had quite finished.”

Pearl speaks with her own voice. “Oh yes. That always happens.”

“Bingo Foot. Well, I can only call the rest of the vision an absolute triumph. The Jedi shall ponder it with all our efforts. I hope we can figure it out before this mighty man appears.”

A group of mischievous eight-year-old Jedi start to sing, “Bingo Fooo-ot, Bingo Fooo-ot,” Their supervisor, a stern, young Jocasta Nu with long flowing hair and the prettiest robe in the Temple, shushes them with her librarian voice. Two entrepreneurial Muuns lean together, already plotting a new line of shoes called “Bingo Feet.” Astronomers on messaging devices bandy around the names of planets that could be defined as “not existing:” most likely, the prophecy refers to a planet that once existed but exists no longer, such as the recently evacuated Baorp, which will fall into a black hole within the next two years.

Sheev is flabbergasted.

What…absolute…shaakshit!

How can anyone take this seriously? Existing in ten million places at once? A killer who no one fears? A planet that doesn’t exist? Bingo Foot?! The ravings of an old madwoman!

If the Jedi had taken me in, would I be falling for it as they are? Would I be as stupid as they are?

Sheev examines Dooku, relieved to see a measure of sanity in this place. Despite his bland smile, Sheev can tell Dooku doesn’t believe a word of it.

“Do not be so hasty, my young Padawan. Yes, there is a certain thrill in ‘figuring it out’ before it comes to pass. But more often than not, that satisfaction is denied us. Instead, the fun comes from looking back on the past and seeing how the prophecies have already happened.”

“But, Master,” Qui-Gon asks, “what is point of that?”

Dooku chuckles. “What is the point of anything, Qui-Gon? Sometimes all we are here for is to delight in the gifts that the Force has given us. Joy is the way of the Light Side of the Force. Never forget that.”

There is somewhat unenthusiastic applause, but Qui-Gon looks happy with the answer, and that’s all that matters.

“You were wise to begin your questioning with a timeframe. In fifty years time, you and I shall look back on the decades together, and discover the meaning of these words, and feel very clever with ourselves.”

Qui-Gon’s high-strung heart melts at his master’s words. What a wonderful thing to imagine.

“I want nothing more, Master.”

Dooku feels the eyes of the Council on him, judging him for how fiercely he cares for his Padawan. Their judgment makes him angry. If they hadn’t wanted him to form attachments, they shouldn’t have given him such a wonderful pupil, so close to him in age and sentiment.

Pearl speaks up, “Speak for yourselves, whippersnappers!”

The crowd laughs.

“But we owe this all to you, my lady!” Qui-Gon assures her. “We are eternally grateful.”

The crowd cheers the chivalrous Padawan.

Dooku continues, “Now, as I understand it, some of our younglings won a contest for a chance to ask the very best questions to our Oracle. Can the contest winners please line up on stage?”

Everyone coos as three cute little Jedi in their robes and short haircuts walk into the stage lights. The first young Jedi asks Pearl if there will ever be peace in the galaxy.

Pearl’s voices layer up again. “𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕡𝕖𝕒𝕔𝕖 𝕣𝕚𝕘𝕙𝕥 𝕟𝕠𝕨.”

“No there isn’t,” the child says, to more laughter.

“𝕐𝕖𝕤, 𝕥𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕤.”

“Thank you, little one,” Dooku interjects. “The Oracle’s lesson here is to appreciate the peace that we do have, in the here and now. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Master.” The first little one hands the mic to the second.

“Oracle, wh–

Suddenly, the left ball on the rod loses balance and clatters to the ground, followed by the other two. Everyone cheers and applauds and there is a second standing ovation. Sheev wonders if someone pushed it. There are two thousand Force users here.

“Please continue, little one,” Dooku says encouragingly.

“Oracle, what is the best thing I can do with my life?”

Pearl’s voice is the half-layered one – not quite herself nor the other. “𝕀’𝕞 𝕒𝕗𝕣𝕒𝕚𝕕 𝕀 𝕕𝕠 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕜𝕟𝕠𝕨 𝕪𝕠𝕦, 𝕔𝕙𝕚𝕝𝕕.”

Dooku clarifies, “My lady, do you mean that prophecies work best if the Oracle is familiar with the subject?”

“𝕐𝕖𝕤, 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕞𝕒𝕜𝕖𝕤 𝕚𝕥 𝕖𝕒𝕤𝕚𝕖𝕣.”

“Do you think, with a short introduction, you could give our little one any prophetic advice, even if it is vague?”

“𝔾𝕚𝕧𝕖 𝕞𝕖 𝕒 𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕒 𝕝𝕚𝕥𝕥𝕝𝕖 𝕓𝕚𝕥 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕖, 𝕒𝕟𝕕 𝕀 𝕒𝕞 𝕤𝕦𝕣𝕖 𝕠𝕗 𝕚𝕥.”

“What is your name, young one?” Dooku asks the child.

“Kitt Zertel.”

“And what are you most proud of, Zertel?”

Kitt pauses, then lifts up her weapon. “My lightsaber. I made it last week.”

The Jedi applaud and cheer wildly. The non-Jedi follow suit less enthusiastically.

Pearl looks at the lightsaber. “...𝕐𝕖𝕒𝕣𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕟𝕠𝕨, 𝕒 𝕡𝕚𝕣𝕒𝕥𝕖 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕝 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕨𝕖𝕒𝕡𝕠𝕟.”

The crowd gasps.

“𝕃𝕖𝕥 𝕙𝕚𝕞. 𝕀𝕗 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕘𝕠 𝕒𝕗𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕚𝕥, 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕕𝕚𝕖.”

Everyone says “Oooooh!”

“𝕄𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣𝕤𝕖𝕝𝕗 𝕒 𝕟𝕖𝕨 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕚𝕟𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕒𝕕.”

Kitt trembles. “Thank you, Oracle.”

“And always consult with your Master before rushing off,” Dooku adds.

“Yes, Master.”

“Thank you, Zertel. A very good question.”

Kitt bows shyly and hands the mic to the third Jedi.

“How are you feeling, my lady?” Qui-Gon asks Pearl.

“I am a little tired.”

“Would you be able to make one more prophecy?”

“Yes.”

“Please don’t make it too difficult, little one,” Dooku requests.

The last little Jedi’s contest-winning question was, “On what day will the First Lady’s baby be born?” Everyone on Coruscant is abuzz with the happy news of their glamorous young Prime Minister’s expectancy. But as she holds the mic and looks at the Oracle, she can’t bring herself to ask what she is supposed to ask. She has felt awful all day, and it’s only gotten worse since she’s been in this room. She hasn’t been able to join in any of the applause or laughter. And maybe this wise woman can tell her why.

“Oracle, I have a terrible feeling.”

There are grumbles of confusion in the audience at this sad 11-year-old girl.

“I sense an awful, dark presence in this very room. I sensed it arrive on Coruscant this morning, and now I sense it, here.”

The grumbles rise in volume and fear.

“I’ve never felt anything so frightening. Can...can you sense it? Can anyone else sense it?”

Dooku reaches out to her; she walks to him and takes his hand. “My dear girl, I am sorry you are so troubled. I can’t sense anything of the sort. Padawan?” Qui-Gon shakes his head. “Masters?” Everyone looks at the Council on their chairs, but the Masters shake their heads. All of the assembled two thousand look among themselves, but no one speaks up.

Far above them, Sheev feels lightheaded. He realizes he’s been holding his breath, so he forces himself to breathe. He feels like ice is running down his neck. He should not have come; he is endangering the entire Sith plan by being so close to these Jedi.

Damn this girl! She thinks she is frightened NOW?!

Dooku looks at her kindly. “Most likely, this unfortunate feeling is merely a ghost passing through you. You may be sensing something in your own future. After all, all those with Force sensitivity have some grasp of the future, even if our understanding is of a different nature than an Oracle’s.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Be brave. These terrors happen to all of us. But that is why we live together. We are like a family, in one home.”

“Yes, Master.”

“Oracle, is there something to fear in this room?” Dooku asks, his hand casually resting on his lightsaber’s hilt.

Despite the master’s wise words, the people are on the verge of panic. Pearl sees the truth in her head, but she doesn’t want to cause a riot.

So she lies. But no one can tell. She still speaks in her layered, prophetic voice -- after all, she is still the final master of what comes out of her mouth.

“ℕ𝕠. 𝕋𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕚𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕥𝕠 𝕗𝕖𝕒𝕣 𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖.”

The little girl breathes a sigh of relief and hugs Dooku’s neck. He pats her back awkwardly, much to his Padawan’s amusement. The people say, “awwww," and many of the non-Jedi feel grateful that don’t get visited by whatever it was that scared the little girl. The privileges enjoyed by the Jedi are enviable, but their tortures are certainly not.

Sheev memorizes the girl’s face and plots his revenge.

* * *

The Present

Ugh -- ughhhh -- uaaaggghh, that dreadful old feeling again -- now that she has tasted life-likeness again, the sweetness of colors, the rawness of real touch -- augh, ughh, ughhh -- this half-life seems more busted than it ever did before -- oh frrreeeuuugghh -- fuck him, fuck that stupid, weak little boy, fuck him with his fucking ham fists, his fumbling grasp -- he’s even worse at awakening her than he is at fucking her -- oh gaaauuggghgg, this is torture -- it feels like he’s gotten worse -- oh -- the difference between the two -- it is like night and day -- ughhh --

The world whimpers into focus, and the first thing she sees is his beautiful, focused face -- for some reason, she finds she can smell much better now -- is Maul improving? Or did Sidious’ superior job knock her sinuses back into focus? She smells the iron of his blood -- she sees his blood dripping on her holo, a little messier even than normal -- Sidious got all his own blood neatly in the slot -- or did Sidious manage to wake her without even a drop of blood? -- she makes a mental note to ask him the next time he wakes her -- he told her that would be in a week -- she wonders how many sessions with Maul she will have to sit through during that week -- if only he would ignore her, then the week would pass in but a moment for her in her holocron.

Maul opens his eyes. They are so lovely. She wishes she could see that glowing yellow without this flickering blue haze.

“It’s my snakewoman!” he says.

Despite her discomfort, Dreela can’t not smile at him. “It’s my monster bitch!”

Looking her up and down in happy confusion, Maul says, “You look -- you look different!”

“I... How?”

“I can’t put my finger on it. You look good! You must be getting better at focusing.”

“Heh.” She looks down. “Thank you.”

The sadness in her voice snaps his attention away from her appearance. “Are you alright?”

“Yes...I’m really happy.”

“Well prepare to get fucking delighted. I got you a present!” He gestures extravagantly at something about 5 feet long under a blanket embroidered with, to Dreela, familiar symbols.

She raises her eyebrows. “How am I gonna hold onto something like that?”

“You’ll more than hold it.”

He lifts the blanket. A cloud of glowing green light dissipates into the air.

While her eyes are dazzled, she hears the familiar sound of belzbugs chirping. Between the bugs and the symbols, she realizes they must be on Iridonia, her favorite planet, Sunke’s planet. They are outside, in an unfamiliar petrified forest. It is the darkest hour of night, especially dark under the planet’s black clouds, even with its two moons of blood-red and deep yellow. A campfire crackles beside them, though she cannot feel its warmth.

As the green light swirls away, she sees the small body of a girl. It isn’t living nor dead; it was carved from the rainbow stone of the petrified trees, with priceless jewels for eyes, and horns for claws--

“You’ll live it. It’s a body I made for you. I’ve learned how to put you in it.”

Dreela’s horrified expression makes Maul a little nervous. He holds up his hands.

“Look.”

He turns and grabs some yowling thing from the ground. It is a large, spiny rodent, a rope tied from its neck to a tree. With his other claw, Maul picks up a branch which has been crudely shaped into a four-legged beast about twice the size of the rodent.

He sits and holds them both on his lap and chants words in a language she has never heard, not even when she lived at the seat of the Empire. Glowing green smoke pours from his eyeballs. The rodent yips and hisses in confusion, then becomes rigid. Simultaneously, the carved branch shivers, and Dreela hears it start to make sounds instead. Its yips sound like they are passing through several feet of water, but they become clearer and clearer, and its little feet start to wriggle –

Maul unties the rope from the neck of the rodent and ties it instead onto the branch, which squirms and howls, aping its former self, its true self. He tosses the still body of the rodent aside, smiles up at her and holds the wiggling wooden beast in both hands. Its plaintive cry sounds -- she must admit -- nearly like its former self -- nearly -- a little deeper, more gravelly.

“Look! I can do it!”

“Kill it!!! Kill it!!!”

“But -- just look!”

“Kill it, Maul!!”

There is nothing in her stomach, but she wants to throw up.

Maul frowns, cracks the creature in half and throws it to the side.

“It was only an animal, nothing to be scared of.”

“I’m not scared. I’m ... offended.”

“Offended?”

“This is witchcraft. This is heresy.”

“What!”

“Where did you learn this?”

“From books, from holos. It’s the stuff they do on Farilin, Nelvaania, Dathomir. I’ve even heard there are covens who do it on Aldera-- what is so -- why are you so upset?”

Dreela has flung her hands over her ears. “Stop it! This is not the Sith way! This is not the way of the Dark Side!”

“Why not?”

“These savages have never even heard of the Dark Side, or the Force, or anything. Ugh, get rid of that!”

She shields her eyes from the girl-body. Maul picks up the stone girl with a grunt and hides it behind a tree.

The bezlbugs’ tinny song fills the silence. He does not recognize their sounds, but she does.

Maul returns, glaring. “It’s still the fucking Force. I’m the one who’s done it. I know when I’m using the Force.”

“It’s false. It’s weak.”

“No. It’s different. And it can do a lot that the Sith can’t. They can be used together. They’re both fueled by our emotions.”

“You defile yourself.”

Maul points at her. “You need to get off your high horse and comprehend the reality of the situation.”

Dreela’s lizard-like eyes are very thin slits, in spite of the darkness. “I won’t sacrifice my pride in our ways, not for anything.”

Maul somersaults over to her and sits so close that their legs overlap. Such closeness would be impossible if she was corporeal. He uses the Force aligned with his hand to touch her hair, and she leans into his touch.

“You don’t have to sacrifice anything, Dreela, baby. It’s not tainted. It’s still the Force. You can still trust in it, just the same.” He uses the Force, unaligned with his hand, to braid her hair. “All it is, is a different point of view. The Sith look at the sameness in all things. We use the connection between us all to rearrange things and sense what’s far. These witches instead look at identities. Names. What makes a creature different from everything else. We blur those distinctions by underst–”

“‘We?’”

“Yeah, why not? I used their magic. That makes me one of them.”

Dreela scoffs and leans away from his hand.

“The Dark Side isn’t enough to bring you back, Dreela.”

“The Dark Side has already saved me!”

Maul grimaces. “You call this saving? I have to drain an arm every time I want to make you real. And then you can’t even touch things with your hands.”

Dreela invisibly smacks him with the Force. “Get that insolent scowl off your face. Don’t you dare insult my master.”

“I’m not insulting your master! I’m grateful to him. I’m just saying, he could’ve made this easier on both of us.”

Dreela throws him back, away from her. The braid he had been weaving starts to become undone. “Don’t speak of what you don’t understand.”

Maul sits up. “I don’t understand? I’m the one who’s done the extracurriculars.”

“Extracurriculars?! You mean blasphemy!”

“But it works!”

“Blasphemy, here, on Iridonia itself!”

She uses the Force to lift the blanket and points at the symbols upon it.

“That first symbol! ‘Unity!’ Unity in the Force! That second symbol! ‘Dominance!’ Dominance by one way of thinking, the Sith Empire! You can’t allow inferior peoples even an inch of their unnatural, corrupted rituals! ‘Allegiance!’ Allegiance to the Sith, to the Dark Side!”

“The Empire is dead! Your ancient ways were the weak ones. Why not reforge ourselves with an alloy of stronger metals?”

“Don’t fucking get literary with me, you ignorant slave!” She throws the blanket onto the fire.

“What did you do that for?”

“You corrupted it by touching it with your savage, foreign magic. Perhaps the fire can purify it.”

“‘Purify,’ sure, that’s one word for it.” He glares at the curling, blackening fabric. “That’s pretty rich to hear you pay such heed to Iridonia. One of us is a Zabrak, and it’s not you.”

Dreela says, after a cruel pause, “You may have the horns, but inside, you don’t have a drop of Zabrakian blood.”

Maul sets his jaw stiffly, and she continues.

“I see your heart. You don’t even care. Your own species means nothing to you. Calling you un-Zabrakian doesn’t even hurt you.”

“Why should it? Why do you care so much? I told you: the Force told me that I wasn’t even born here. Zabraks live all over the galaxy. Colonies, neighborhoods, families, individuals. We don’t all think the same. There are Zabraks in the Jedi Order.”

“No!”

“Yes! We’re people, not symbols.”

“Those Jedi Zabraks are a disgrace. They should be wiped out.”

“All the Jedi should be wiped out.”

Dreela is also staring at the burning blanket. “You said your ‘witch magic’ uses identities. How can you claim that? You have no identity as a Zabrak, nor as a Sith. And you have no name.”

“I have ‘Maul.’ I believe in that.”

“Yes. You do.”

An infinite number of voices layer on top of her own.

“𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕝𝕠𝕤𝕖 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘: 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕖, 𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕥𝕨𝕚𝕔𝕖, 𝕓𝕦𝕥 𝕥𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖𝕤. 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕗𝕚𝕣𝕤𝕥 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕓𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕖𝕟𝕖𝕞𝕪’𝕤 𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕕. 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝕤𝕖𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕓𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕪’𝕤 𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕕. 𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕣𝕕 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖 𝕓𝕪 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕕. 𝔹𝕦𝕥 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖, 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕜𝕖𝕖𝕡 ‘𝕄𝕒𝕦𝕝.’ 𝔸 𝕟𝕒𝕞𝕖 𝕡𝕦𝕥 𝕠𝕟 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕓𝕪 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕙𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕤 𝕪𝕠𝕦. 𝔼𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪 𝕥𝕚𝕞𝕖, ‘𝕄𝕒𝕦𝕝’ 𝕨𝕚𝕝𝕝 𝕓𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕗𝕠𝕣𝕥, 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕙𝕒𝕟𝕕𝕙𝕠𝕝𝕕, 𝕒𝕤 𝕖𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕪𝕥𝕙𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕖𝕝𝕤𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕒𝕓𝕠𝕦𝕥 𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕤 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕪𝕠𝕦. 𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕝𝕒𝕚𝕞 ‘𝕄𝕒𝕦𝕝.’ 𝔸𝕟𝕕 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕤𝕙𝕒𝕝𝕝 𝕓𝕖 𝕪𝕠𝕦𝕣 𝕠𝕟𝕝𝕪 𝕥𝕣𝕚𝕦𝕞𝕡𝕙.”

Maul feels goosebumps down his arms and neck, acid sizzling in his stomach up his esophagus as if to make him vomit. He swallows it down. His voice is one of sorrow.

“Why do you curse me, Dreela?”

Zaster’s heart breaks. Her voice is immediately her own. “It’s not a curse. It’s a prophecy.”

“How do you know?”

Zaster can’t answer. They sit in silence for a long minute.

“He does hate me, doesn’t he?”

“Yes.”

“He hates my body. My earliest memory is of Sidious yanking a horn from within my skull. This one.” He pokes his back left horn. “It was growing slower than the others. It was barely a toothpick, even though I was already four years old. He compelled the rest of it out.”

“This is not the Sith Order I knew,” Zaster tells him, miserably.

“But he keeps it professional. I am what he has. I will inherit his empire, me. Even though he has a biological son and daughter. I am his true son in the Force.”

Tears fall from Zaster’s eyes. A deep growl escapes from Maul’s mouth, then a rushing fountain of words.

“‘Maul.’ ‘Maul’ is not a triumph! You took my words and twisted them. I believe in ‘Maul.’ But you were right the first time. I do have a true name like your Dreela. I have only forgotten it. And what you said in your curse is right too. ‘Maul’ did come from someone who hates me. I won’t... Augh, your curse is pure, pathetic shit. ‘Maul’ isn’t a triumph! It’s a -- it’s a tool. A tool I can use in witch magic. I will have such triumphs. I will be the Sith Emperor.”

“One of us is an Oracle, and it isn’t you.”

“What, do you really believe in that shit?”

“I didn’t before... But now... I think I do.”

“What happened?”

Zaster looks down at her blue fizzling holo-body and shrugs. “I can’t tell you.”

Why is she so fucking sad today? Maul thinks.

“Well, I don’t believe in it. Look, you know what it says on your holo? You know what I have to chant to wake you?” He picks it up and reads it. “‘Oracle, live, Oracle, rise, Oracle, give me your gift, prophesize once more –’” He laughs. “As if that is what mattered about you!”

“Prophecies are valuable.”

Maul pokes his chest with his thumb. “Not to little old lonesome me! I wanted you for two years! You! Not your curses!”

Zaster looks at him blankly. “I know why you have so much trouble waking me up. It’s because you don’t believe in those words. You don’t think I’m an Oracle. You don’t even think I’m Zaster. You think I’m just Dreela.”

“Pah! Of course I know you’re Zaster, the Sith of legend. I love that! And I know you’re an Oracle. I just don’t give a shit.”

“I’m more than just your good little friend. I’m very powerful.”

“I know that! I want to make you more powerful! You’re shackled. I want to free you!”

Her tearful, blank expression unnerves him. He stands and walks around the tree, picks up the stone girl-body and lugs it over to her. “Won’t you even look at it? I’ve spent our entire stay on Iridonia making it. Whenever I had a free moment. Over a month. Time I would normally spend with you, or trying to wake you -- sometimes failing -- instead I spent making this and learning how to put you in it.”

“You spent a whole month on this proud Sith planet ... the planet where your people evolved from fish ... and you could have been traveling your ancestral land, befriending your brothers and sisters, learning your own culture ... and instead you spent it…” She speaks in a furious whisper, “practicing witchcraft?!”

“Yes.”

“I hope when you die you pass straight into the Light Side of the Force.”

Maul winces. “Can you quit being a miserable, petty bitch for one second and just look at it? Just consider?”

Zaster looks at it.

“Don’t you like her?”

“You are a master of beauty. But she isn’t me.”

“She could be.”

“I want my body.”

“Dreela, that’s impossible. Your body exists, somewhere. It’s a puddle of goop and dust at best.”

“It is possible for a true Sith master.”

“It is?” He sits close in front of her again. “How?”

“Neither of us are knights. We are both merely pupils. Our knowledge is limited. Ask your master.”

“I shall think of some ... hypothetical ... scenario…”

“No. Just tell him about me. There is no point in keeping me a secret.”

“Dreela, that’s dangerous. He could destroy you. He is not a true Sith. You said so yourself. He is selfish and he abuses our traditions.”

“Ask his master, then.”

Maul laughs. “He doesn’t know I exist! He would destroy me.”

“You aren’t good enough to save me.” She crosses her arms. “Turn off the holo. Send me to sleep.”

“Dreela!”

“I don’t want to look at you.”

“There’s a human saying on Naboo: ‘Don’t go to bed angry.’ And you can’t even sleep it off. You’ll be just as angry the next time I wake you up.”

“But maybe you’ll be a little less insane.”

“I will find a way to ask him withou–”

Zaster stands and starts to walk away.

“Wait!” He picks up the holo. “Don’t walk too far from the projector! It could lose your information!”

“Then turn it off!” She keeps walking.

Maul turns off the holo projector and stares at where she was. He puts the girl-body tenderly in the tree hollow where he’s been hiding it. He stamps out the fire and goes home to the Temple.

* * *

11 Years in the Future

The Council had sent the pair of them on a mission to Iridonia to see if they could learn anything about the Zabrak who killed Qui-Gon six years ago. No one even knows the Zabrak’s name. Anakin had wondered what this “research-y” mission had to do with defending peace and order in the galaxy; Obi-Wan had known that the Council’s true object was to give the fifteen-year-old his first taste of the Sith.

They should have sent them to do this long ago, but they wanted to wait until Anakin was no longer a child, or at least, until most of childishness was gone. But Obi-Wan knows, even if the Council and Anakin himself do not, how young his Padawan really is, how deeply foolish, how essentially innocent. Despite years of strict diet, vigorous discipline, none of the separation between school and life that other children have, no distinction between teacher and caretaker -- despite the sometimes-brutality and the sometimes-joylessness of Jedi life, and despite his uniquely sudden plunge into it, from a life that was also harrowing -- in different ways, much more harrowing -- despite all these attacks on his immaturity, no force in this galaxy is strong enough to take childishness from a 15-year-old: the wonders and the terrors of being so little, and self-absorbed, and silly, and needy, and angry, and wrong.

Iridonia, nowadays, is a nice planet with a lovely culture, even if it can look a little scary to squeamish Coruscanti who don’t expect such loud music and vivid colors, such celebration of death and brawn. Jedi feel a particular whiplash against the look of everything, since their world is one of gray and brown and bright electric lights, hemmed in by a big, flashy, surly city. Iridonia uses fewer lights since Zabraks see better in the darkness than humans; the aliens can see fewer colors than human eyes, however, so their art and decoration bump up the saturation and contrast. But once Jedi get used to the eye-strain, they can relate to the deeper cultural stuff, like the Iridonian tendency toward aggression -- throwing oneself into a fight when provoked or even just for fun, confident that no matter how you are thrown around and knocked about, you will come out alright. Nice, lovely planet.

Iridonia used to be one of the strongholds of the Sith empire, and there are still traces of that history everywhere, even though it was so long ago and they are a loyal if somewhat unenthusiastic part of the Republic now. Obi-Wan and Anakin had found no leads in the cities -- they couldn’t even find any other red Zabraks -- so they turned to the wilds and the country, and their adventures and meditations brought them finally to the Sith Temple.

It wasn’t until they had crossed the threshold that Obi-Wan realized that the fear -- and the terrible sadness -- that he felt was not Anakin’s, but his own. And then he had wanted to rip an apology from the walls of the Temple for everything that the Sith had done to him, and for making him so frightened, six years later and in front of his Padawan. But Anakin had sensed nothing of Obi-Wan’s fear; he was just happy they had finally made some progress.

The Sith Temple had been just as scary and confusing and frustrating as Obi-Wan had expected. There were many weird rooms, devoted to sins and evil deeds and desires, and many impossible to open doors. Obi-Wan had only allowed them to stay inside for two hours at a maximum; often, just as Anakin thought he was on to something, Obi-Wan would drag him by his hood and insist they make themselves scarce for rest and snacks outside. Anakin had no perception of how deeply and insidiously the Dark Side dwelled in these rooms and tried to touch their noble hearts. Well, maybe some perception -- but not as much as he should have had.

It all culminated in a room far too far into the Temple, in which Obi-Wan had distinctly detected the shadow of the man who had killed Qui-Gon. Their lightsabers had illuminated the silhouette of a person -- they had been startled -- but it was only a statue, a very pretty one of a short but grown-up girl, with two little horns on her head, horns for claws, and jewels for eyes. Obi-Wan had opened his mouth to insist they leave, but Anakin had approached her, as if compelled, and touched her, like the stupid kid he is -- and of course this set off a trap, and sent a great slab of rock to fall on top of Anakin -- and though Obi-Wan got him out in time, the rock had broken Anakin’s right arm. Obi-Wan had immediately declared the mission over.

With his arm in a cast and a sling, Anakin’s training has slowed. He insists that he can learn to write and battle with his left hand, but Obi-Wan can’t make heads or tails of those scribbles or do anything for that backwards fighting technique. There is little to do but sit around. To make it a little more tolerable and fun, Obi-Wan lets them sit on the roof, which is against the rules.

Anakin climbs out of the uppermost window of the tallest tower of the Temple. His master is already sitting on the ledge above. He takes Anakin’s left hand and helps him squirm up to the ledge. Anakin sits beside him and leans against the antennae. It is impossible to be any higher.

“Are you scared of the view?” says Obi-Wan.

“I’m a pilot, Master.”

“Pilots wear seatbelts.”

Anakin smirks. “Sometimes.”

“Oh, Anakin.”

They look out at the city. Ships fly at their eye level. They ignore the drivers but compare the vehicles. A practical family supertug. Clean, dull commuteroids. An extravagant rented morgueboat. A fun speeder with silky-smooth acceleration. A bad speeder with clunky, nearly unusable toggleshifts.

“That Model E needs a paint job,” says Anakin.

“I was just thinking that.”

A bloated, converted gunner with all the weapons torn off. A lovely little blue fleetling. Anakin imagines driving it with the roof rolled down, and Padme as copilot, her hair blowing back as they fly. Obi-Wan imagines buying it for Anakin. Three minutes of happy silence passes, until Obi-Wan breaks it.

“I was looking over Qui-Gon’s notes on the prophecy he linked to you.”

“Oh.”

Anakin feels like a rock has formed in his stomach.

“All this Sith business reminded me of it.”

“Right.”

Obi-Wan digs a holonotebook out of his pocket.

“I was under the impression that it was all made by that ancient Oracle Garinquutor.” He turns the notebook on and shows Anakin a menu with pages and pages of folders and tabs. “But apparently, according to Qui-Gon, it’s one of those prophecies that is a combination of the words of many Oracles. Garinquutor wasn’t even the first, nor the most loquacious.”

“Who was?”

“A simple question with a tricky answer. As everything concerned seems to be. Qui-Gon believed that the very first references were made over a million years ago by an Oracle, from what is now Scarif, whose name has been lost. They said what can be translated to, ‘One shall hold the sun aloft and end the night forever.’ However, the word for ‘one’ could also mean ‘two.’ And the word for ‘end’ could also mean ‘burn.’ And the whole thing could be referring to something else entirely. It is only Qui-Gon’s interpretation that these words should be placed first in the timeline, based on their use of ‘sun’ and ‘night,’ which would become motifs.”

“Okay.”

Anakin feels like he’s eating very healthy, raw, painfully tasteless vegetables.

Obi-Wan continues, “Qui-Gon jotted down his own notes to explain some of these ambiguities. The trouble is, his handwriting wasn’t nearly so perfect as yours or even as generally legible as mine.”

He holds the notebook between them.

“What do you think he meant here, above the ‘one/two’ ambiguity?”

Both Jedi hunch over the notebook, rapt, trying with all their might to decipher the lost master’s word.

“...‘Nerfer?’” Anakin suggests.

“Oh, that could be an ‘R,’ couldn’t it...?”

“Nerfer... Nerfs are often born as twins... Twins? Two for one?”

Obi-Wan, smiling, raises an eyebrow at him. “You think you have a lost twin somewhere?”

Anakin smiles back. “Who knows?”

“Who knows indeed.”

They concentrate on the scribble again.

“I don’t think that’s an ‘F,’ though,” Obi-Wan says.

“‘Needle’ ... ‘Need...R’...’Theed’… um... Maybe it’s an ‘H’, ‘Heed’… ‘Hope’…”

“... ‘Helper.’”

“Oh, it is ‘Helper!’ ‘Helper’ and a question mark,” says Anakin.

“Yes. A Chosen One and a helper.”

“And a question mark.”

“Correct.”

“When was the most recent part of the prophecy made?”

“The most modern part was made 500 years ago, here on Coruscant, by Master Yoda.”

“Master Yoda?!”

Obi-Wan nods. “That surprised me too. But I suppose when you live that long, you can live as many things, including an Oracle. He certainly has the wisdom and the strength with the Force.”

“What did he say?”

“He said, ‘He is the silver student who will separate once, separate twice, and then disarm.’”

“‘He is…’” Anakin bursts into laughter and points at his cast. “‘Dis-arm.’”

Obi-Wan laughs. “It’s coming true!”

“How am I ‘silver?’”

“I don’t know. I feel like gems and metals always symbolize something unexpected in these sorts of things.”

“Yeah, I get that impression too.”

“Qui-Gon wrote ‘old,’ ‘rich,’ and ‘second-best’ above ‘silver.’”

“Hmmm, nope, nope, and nope.”

Anakin thinks, I have already separated once.

“I know. Qui-Gon included it because Yoda told him to.”

“Why did Yoda tell him that?”

“Because Yoda included it 500 years ago. He felt it was part of the greater whole.”

“He can’t tell us why? -- Or what it means?”

“If he ever knew, he wouldn’t remember now.”

“He wouldn’t remem... But he was there! It was his own words!”

“Anakin, do you remember a dream you had even three years ago?”

“But this is more than a dream!”

“Is it?”

Anakin is stunned into silence. He looks away from the holonotebook and blinks at the brightness of the city view.

“Do you believe, Master?”

Obi-Wan also looks away from the notebook, also taken aback by the lights gleaming off the ships.

“It is not useful for me to believe. It is a distraction… To me, Anakin, you are only an ordinary boy.”

“Can you put that prophecy away, then?”

“Yes.” He turns it off and puts it back in his pocket. “I keep it in my room, if you ever want to read it.”

Anakin looks down out of a habit of bashfulness -- but he looks back up quickly, since the view looking down is scary.

“Thank you, Master. I know I should.”

Obi-Wan knows, if Qui-Gon were here, he would start talking about “self-fulfilling prophecies” and “inevitability,” but those words feel sour and false in his own mouth. All he really wants is to give Anakin this measure of control over his own life and decisions. He wants him to listen to his own heart.

“If you do not want to, you do not have to.”

“Thank you.”

Those words feel strange, but wonderful, coming from his teacher.

* * *

The Present

Zaster feels the black water lapping her skin. She splashes her face, curls up and plunges her head underwater. She stretches out to a comfy position in this enormous bath carved from zakrite, a precious purple mineral. She reaches for her itching shoulder and scratches a fold in her old skin. It tears perfectly. She could cry with happiness.

She tears it across, then rolls it down; the old skin detaches from each scale, tugging it up a little as she goes. She moans in satisfaction. She sheds the whole skin off her arm and holds it up; it looks like a translucent, inside-out glove. She tosses it onto the surface of the hot bathwater, and the bubbling currents carry it away from the holoprojector’s photon beams. When it floats out of range, it disappears, and the holoprojector loses its data. The old skin blips out of existence. Good -- she has new skin -- better, brighter, raw, and all because of the man sitting there, in her master’s chair.

“This is it, exactly,” she says.

“I told you. Anything you want,” says Sidious.

“How can you do this?”

Sidious shrugs. “I do not have much of a frame of reference. I far exceed my master. But I do not know how great I am in comparison to other Sith.”

Zaster shakes her head in amazement. “The wisest Sith of my time doubted my master’s plan. You have fulfilled it to perfection. I feel exactly as if I were still alive... I don’t even have to strain with the Force, as I do when I play with Maul.”

“My dear, I am sure that strain reflects only on Maul. Your capacity with the Force is far greater than his. I sense ... that the success of your projection, when you are with me, cannot be attributed solely to myself, as much as I would like to claim the credit. It is the strength of the bond between us that manifests you so well.”

Zaster sits up, reaches for him, and touches his knee. Touching is so easy now. “Take off your clothes and join me.”

Sidious chortles. “I am sorry, my dear, but I do not have to do with aliens, on principle.”

Zaster runs her hand down his calf, blows bubbles into the water, splashes her face again and starts to peel the old skin off her other arm.

“But Maul told me you have a halfbreed bastard.”

“Ah, well, principles are for Jedi.”

“I’ll fuck anyone. I fucked Jedi. I fucked my master.”

“Now there must have been a rule against that.”

“Oh, everybody broke that rule! We were crazy for our masters.”

She tosses the shed skin from her other arm away. She peels the old skin off her face; it comes off in one satisfying piece. She throws it to him and he idly folds it up in an origami crane.

She continues, “I have one principle, in regards to sex: no halfbreeds. Nothing against your bastard specifically, Master.”

“Call me ‘my lord.’”

“My lord. Nothing against him; I’m sure he’s a lovely person. But like with like, you know? It’s criminal to dilute good species with bad ones.”

“Lucky, then, that my student’s sexual aberration has kept him off of your lovely self.”

Zaster stops dead.

“What?”

“Ohhh... dear, dear, dear... You’ve coupled with the beast?”

“But Maul is a Zabrak.”

“His father was a Zabrak. At least, mostly. The strongest in his village. His mother made all the men slaughter each other in a tournament for her. He won and became her plaything. She was a Dathomiran. A ‘Nightsisters.’ A witch.”

Zaster stares at him, agape. “But Maul looks a perfect specimen.”

“Do not trust your eyes, Dreela. Zabrakian genetics overwhelm the weaker Dathomiran ones, but only in appearance. You know his heart. He has already shown you, has he not, his barbarian ways? He doesn’t even know. It is just natural to him.”

Zaster visibly shudders. She feels goosebumps, sensitive on her new skin and itchy where her old skin still remains.

“Disgusting.”

“Come now, be fair, Dreela. It isn’t his fault.”

Zaster takes a huffy breath.

“You’re right.”

She sinks all the way into the water for a few moments, to clear her head and purify a little more. She tears the scales off her legs impatiently; she tears the scales off her middle, all up to her neck. Flakes of scales and skin float away from her and vanish into oblivion. She sits up in the water and looks at him.

“Can I get you anything else, Oracle?”

“I’m terrible at accepting gifts. Just -- come here. Come here.”

She waves him over. He rises from the chair and kneels in front of the bath. She holds the back of his head and kisses him tenderly, in thanks for what he has done for her. She draws a line across his cheek with her wet finger and sees the water clinging to his face. She did that, with her living finger. She kisses him deeply and passionately. She can feel him perfectly, his lips and teeth -- it took two thousand years, but here is a Sith, worthy enough -- she can feel it, the prophecy bubbling inside her -- no, not yet, she wants to make it really good, she wants as much information as she can, and she wants to make him wait for it -- she suppresses the prophecy like suppressing anger, so that he won’t detect the Force working around her.

“But ... if you can ... a real body ... no projection ... a real body of scale and blood, my body, as it should be.”

“I can. The next time I wake you, it will be yours.”

She smiles as he sits back in the chair, swatting the water out of his hair.

#THE LONG CHAPTER #my story #my art #through a blackened mirror #obi-wan kenobi #qui-gon jinn #mace windu #sheev palpatine #count dooku #pearl yazabi #darth maul #darth zaster #anakin skywalker #scifi #fairytale #cw abuse

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writing-forever · 1 year

Text

Chapter 8 Moral dilemmas

First, previous, next

I thought I had posted this earlier I’m so sorry!

This chapter was a pain in the ass. Candy did not want to be written.

Tw: nothing really

Candy watched as Alex disappeared into the smallest hole in her wall. I was like he was never even there. She stayed still for a few more seconds. She couldn’t bring herself to move. She had thought on it a lot last night she was sure that if she just said the right thing. If she was gentle, nice. Then Alex would stay. It broke her heart a little bit when he decided not to. But she couldn’t exactly force him. Then she would be no better than those people at that stupid school. Finally she got up. She should probably put away the peroxide and cotton balls.

She grabbed them walking to the bathroom. She had just put them in the cabinet when her mother called her for dinner.

“Coming!” she called, rushing down the stairs.

She peeked into the kitchen to see her mom already eating while her mother argued with her.

“You can’t eat yet we have to wait for Candy. Or did you forget your manners?” Teagan, her mother, scolded.

“Hey, I helped make it, I think that means I can eat it whenever I want.” Rory, her mom, shot back, mouth full of food.

Candy giggled at her parents antics, stepping out into the kitchen to add her opinion.

“I agree with mother, manners are important. She smirked at her mom as she walked to the stove to get her own portion.

Rory stuck her tongue out at her and Teagan shook her head as if wondering how she ended up with such a childish wife.

Candy stuck out her tongue right back as she sat down.

“She’s here Tea, can I eat now?”

Candy’s mom whined even though she hadn’t even stopped in the first place.

Rory just gave her a playful glare before she switched her focus to Candy. “We didn’t get to talk when you got home, did you have a good day at school? Did you finish your homework?”

Candy slouched in her seat. Her parents always asked her about her day and she always felt bad when she lied to them. It wasn’t their fault, they just cared about her. But Akitō Academy was expensive and they had seemed so excited when they got the message that she had been accepted. Granted they thought it was some top of the line private school. But Candy didn’t want to worry them.

“My day was fine,” she said. “Kind of boring actually.”

Candy thought about telling her parents the truth. It was a thought that she’d had many times before. Most times she managed to convince herself not to tell because despite the schools ulterior motives no one was actually getting hurt. But now she knew that people were getting hurt. She could try to pretend nothing was happening, but even if she had saved one borrower she knew that all the others had died. That was more than fourteen deaths, and she felt incredibly guilty. But she also knew that Alex would absolutely HATE her if she told her parents about him. He had been so scared of her. She doubted he wanted more humans to know he existed. So she kept her mouth shut, eating her dinner in silence.

She did however plan on telling her best friend Harper. They had known each other since grade school and told each other absolutely everything. Candy knew about every boy Harper had ever had a crush on ( there had been many) and Harper had heard every cringy story Candy had written down.

Candy had already told her about Akitō Academy’s concerning teaching methods. She didn’t think she could lie to her anyhow. Harper was great at picking out her truths from her lies, and even if she wouldn’t push her to tell the truth it would probably create distrust between them which was the last thing Candy wanted.

Having made up her mind about who to tell Candy picked her clean plate up off the table and put it in the sink before telling her parents she was going upstairs to call her friend. Her parents nodded and Candy left to her room.

She had to search around a bit for her phone, in all the excitement she had forgotten where she put it. But when she did find it she immediately FaceTimed Harper, they never called each other normally.

Harper picked up after the second ring.

“Oh my goodness Candy I haven’t seen you in forever!”

Candy rolled her eyes, they had literally talked yesterday.

“Oh my god I know! It’s been soooooo long!” She said, playing along.

Harper giggled “How was school, have they done anything sue-able yet?” She asked, only half joking.

Candy bit her lip, “They might have.” She said slowly.

Harper sat up straight, her eyes wide. “Well? Out with it.”

“Before I tell you,” Candy started. “You have to promise you won’t tell anyone about him.”

“HIM!!!” Harper practically screeches. “Oh you have to tell me now.” She phantoms throwing popcorn into her mouth.

“Promise.” Candy repeats.

“Ok, ok I promise.” Harper says quickly. “Wait, thought you were aromantic? Why are you so secretive about a boy?”

Candy makes a face. “I’m not in love with him, I saved him from dying!”

Harpers demeanor changes real fast.

“Is he ok? Where is he now? How are you gonna keep him a secret? I mean it’s not like you can just hide a boy in your room!” She says frantically, her words becoming mumbled near the end of her outburst.

Candy sighed, wondering where to start. “Well first of all it’s not like I’m hiding a full grown boy in my room. He’s a borrower, they were gonna make me dissect him.” Candy shivered at the memory.

“Ok, ok, I think you should start at the beginning.”

Candy did, detailing the day’s events quickly while Harper made the occasional comment.

“I really think you should tell your parents about this,” Harper said when she finished. “But if you don’t want to I won’t force you.”

“You don’t understand Harper, he looked so scared, and I don’t even know where he is now. What if I’m just telling my parents for nothing?” Candy replied.

“It’s not for nothing. That school is doing super illegal things. Your moms’ could at least tell the court about it or something.” Harper argued back.

“No, we can’t do that. It’s a villain school Harper, do you really think they’ll just sit there and do nothing while we tear them down legally? They’d probably kill my parents if we tried to take any sort of legal action.”

Harper hummed. “I guess you’re right… could I come over next week maybe? So we can talk about this face to face?”

“Yeah, sure.” Candy said. “My parents will love having you over, mom was talking about some game she wanted to play with you yesterday.”

“Oh cool, what is it?”

“I don’t know, something something FNAF.”

“Security Breach?”

“Yep, that’s the one.”

“Awesome!”

They talked for a couple hours after that, but Candy kept worrying about Alex. She didn’t know if he had stayed in the walls or just completely left the house. She hoped he was still around. There was no way he’d be able to make it outside at night. It got really cold at night this time of year. Poor little guy. He didn’t even have a shirt.

She guessed she would just have to wait, if the Alex decided to come back she would be really happy of course. But she’d just have to live with it if he didn’t.

#No this is not edited at all #I don’t want to look at it anymore #This was so heard to write you have no idea #gt #g/t #bleeding bodies bleeding souls #eve does dumb stuff

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frogtanii · 3 years

Text

oh fuck, fuck, shit. this was not how things were supposed to go down.

what was supposed to happen, according to the magnificent imagination library of sugawara koushi (don’t judge him, he made the name when he was like 5), was that he’d get a little drunk after spa night and share his story with his newfound friends. he was hoping for a maybe a few hugs, no words of pity and, once again if he was lucky, a seat beside you while you watched some sappy lighthearted comedy to get his mind off of the whole situation.

what suga got instead, however, was an increasingly pissed you, ready to pounce on meiko the second you got. he couldn’t pretend that your reaction wasn’t incredibly endearing, especially since he’d never seen you get this angry in all the time he’s known you, but koushi couldn’t help but worry that after this... everyone would know.

so he raced after you down the hall, until you burst into meiko’s room with the rest of the group hot on your heels.

meiko looked up from rummaging through her bags, startled, while iwaizumi immediately jumped to her defense. you were not deterred, peering around him with such fire in your eyes that not even meiko was immune.

sugawara was actually rather impressed with the stoicism you held even when you stood face to face with iwaizumi’s biceps.

god, those arms.

“meiko, you fucking bitch,” you muttered, lowly and under your breath. the gasp meiko let out was absolutely scandalized as iwaizumi pressed himself closer to you.

“hey, don’t you dare talk to her that way,” iwa expressed, instantly drawing your attention. suga didn’t even pretend to hide the gasp that escaped his throat as he watched your eyes turn even more steely and cold.

he’d hate to be on the receiving end of your empty gaze.

“get the fuck out of my way,” your smaller hand found its way to the center of iwaizumi’s broad chest and pushed.

faintly, over the sound of blood rushing in his ears, koushi could hear atsumu yell something along the lines of get em angel! but his eyes were utterly stuck on you fiery form.

your own eyes remained focused on meiko who was now cowering behind iwaizumi’s back but for the first time ever she actually looked... scared?

koushi felt something alight in stomach (rage? hurt?) as he watched the woman who’d unapologetically taken something he’d never ever get back with no remorse, look fucking scared.

of course she would have the audacity to be afraid in the eyes of pain and not her horribly absent morality.

fucking hell. she was so going to get what was coming for her.

koushi let a manic grin grow on his face as he watched you shove iwaizumi harder to finally, finally, get your hands on the woman who’d destroyed his life.

when hajime tried to get back between you and meiko, bokuto, atsumu, and sakusa stepped up to keep him away. suga suddenly felt two solid presences appear at his sides, a quick glance out of the corners of his eyes informing him it was kuroo and kenma beside him.

“do you wanna leave?” kuroo leant down to whisper, his deep voice vibrating at the shell of suga’s ear. koushi absentmindedly shook his head no, brown orbs watching as you whispered something in meiko’s ear, her eyes immediately going wide in shock.

god, he wished he was right there next to you, listening to every piece of bullshit meiko spat out of her mouth and from the looks of it, it was a ton.

kuroo and kenma began to speak over suga but he was too occupied with you — you looked so powerful and in control as you stood over meiko, saying something else that he couldn’t hear but whatever it was, it must’ve upset meiko because her face twisted from afraid to fucking pissed.

he couldn’t do anything but watch in slow motion as meiko’s hand flew up and slapped you square across the face.

the room fell silent as everyone looked on in utter shock. (un)surprisingly, you weren’t startled at all — you actually looked pleased as you touched your cheek gently as though you were surprised it even hurt.

koushi’s theory was then proved correctly as your voice rang out through the silent room. “wow. that actually kind of stung.” kenma snorted next to him at your nonchalance as another wave of admiration overtook him.

suga knew he must have been looking pretty enamored by you but it was only amplified as the whole house watched your hand fly down into meiko’s face, slapping her at least twice as hard.

now, kenma straight up cackled as you and meiko fell into an all out fight where you clearly had the upper hand.

behind your little defense squad, iwaizumi attempted to fight past the wall of strong men to get to meiko, but there was no way he could get past bokuto’s arms that were big enough to rival his.

unfortunately for suga (and kenma who was having the time of his life), all the noise from the thrashing and screaming (coming mostly from meiko) had attracted quite the crowd. daichi and osamu immediately rushed to yank you off of meiko who was now lying on the ground yelling and sobbing.

she was an absolute wreck, her mascara smeared across her face, extensions pulled every which way and a bright red handprint plastered on her left cheek as a black eye seemed to be coming in on the same side.

you, on the other hand, whilst being dragged away by osamu and daichi, looked absolutely stunning.

your hair was a mess, blood was running from your nose down your to your chin, and you had a feral grin spread across your face but even still, to suga, you’d never looked more beautiful.

at first, koushi thought it was because he had a minor blood kink (don’t ask) but after more thought, he discovered that it was more than likely due to the fact that you had physically fought for him.

you’d decided, on some merits unknown to him, that he was worth getting bitchslapped for and that meant more to him than you could ever know.

“hey,” kenma’s soft voice shook him out of his thoughts as he gently led him out of the room. “they’re putting yn in her room so we’re gonna go there, ok?”

koushi thinks that kenma could’ve led him straight into a pit of lava if that’s where you were. he just desperately needed to see you, to thank you for what you’d done for him.

suga needed to prove to you that your bloody nose wasn’t in vain — that he was somehow worth fighting for.

℗ poker face

a boy worth fighting for

series masterlist

(●’◡’●)ﾉ

an - ahaha get the mulan reference?? wow m so funny ALOS this chapter sucks ass cs i’m so bad at writing fighting (&& it’s 1a m so tired) lmao pls just take this w a grain of salt ;-; don’t forget to feed me <3

taglist - if your name is in bold, i cannot tag you

@boosyboo9206 • @geektastic84 • @elianetsantana • @trashy-simp • @infinitebells • @6mattsun9 • @suhkusa • @sazunari • @kotarosbabygirl • @fucktheworlddude • @insomniacwreck • @calumsfringe • @saltylettuce • @chai-blu • @al3x1ss • @hawksyoongi • @syndellwins • @jooleuuh • @amberalisa • @kissungjae • @liberhoe • @tetsurocore • @animeoverdosee • @duhsies • @saikishairclip • @afire24 • @premiyagi • @kit-kat428 • @doctorspencereid • @daphnxy • @kyomihann • @maer-333 • @sinoflust19 • @peteunderoos • @peachiikichu • @iidanotlida • @yongboxerrr • @kac-chowsballs • @tanakaslastbraincell • @memorableminds • @risjime • @starry-magicshop • @sugavwara • @smuttyanimeslut • @kiwibirbs-library • @haijkk • @airybnb • @babierin • @iwaisa • @decaffinatedtealover • @notameera • @kawaii-angelanne • @rintarovibes • @urlocalsimp

the rest of the tags will be in the replies!!

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landinoandco · 3 years

Text

An Unlikely Grand Prix

Daniel Ricciardo x reader

Warnings: flufffff

Word count: 2.1k

Requests are open :)

The Belgium Grand Prix was one that was highly anticipated - not only did it mark the end of the summer break and start to the second part of the season but it also promised some quality racing with its high speed corners.

You and Daniel were sitting in your hotel room on Sunday morning, a drink of coffee in your hand and a vitamin smoothie in his, your laptop open in front of you as you made some edits to the latest version of your book. You were an author and about to finish the final edit of your new novel.

“Have you seen the weather forecast for today?” He asked, leaning onto his forearms. You looked over your laptop lid and nodded, taking off your glasses.

“I have, you better be careful. It was bad enough in qualifying yesterday - “ You paused, saving your work and closing your laptop down. “I don’t care what people say - wet races always make me nervous. They shouldn’t have sent you out in Q3, it was hard to watch.”

A silence fell between the both of you, Daniel watched with a softness in his eyes. He knew exactly how you felt and he loved how supportive you were of him. You were his biggest fan and he could not be more thankful for it - you were there for him every weekend through rain and sunshine and through good races and bad races. You knew him better than anyone.

“I will be as careful as I can -” He reached across the table and took your hand in his. “I really feel like I’m getting somewhere though - P4.” He exclaimed, a smile flashing across his handsome features. You brushed your thumb over his hand.

“It was a really good lap - especially given the weather.” You agreed.

You moved your gaze to the window - the steady sound of rain hitting the hotel window filled the room.

“It’s definitely going to be a tense one.” Daniel muttered, pushing his chair back and getting up. You followed and made your way to the door, shrugging on your coat as you went.

The rain was pouring down as though the heavens above had opened - Daniel held an umbrella above both of you, sheltering you from the downpour. Members from different teams raced around the paddock to dry shelter - the buzz of conversation could already be heard from the grandstand in front of the pitlane. You admired the dedication of the fans; it was far from just a shower and for those exposed without even the slightest of cover would be drenched to the bone even by now and the grand prix was far from starting.

You looked over to Dan, his eyes twinkling and a spring in his step told you that he was looking forward to today’s race. His eyes flickered down to meet your gaze, bumping his shoulder into yours causing you to chuckle.

It was incredible to think about all of the things you two had managed to fit into 3 (going on 4) years. You met each other on the top of Table Mountain in Cape Town, you were there plotting for your next novel and Daniel was there hiking with his friends…

You were sat on a rock, looking out to the city of Cape Town tucked away under the mountain range - you were out in South Africa on an escape from the cramped conditions of London. You had a deadline quickly approaching to come up with a plot for your next book and as of that moment you still weren’t any closer to coming up with the next bestseller. Sure, you had ideas but they were yet to set a light a fire of motivation in you.

You had zoned out, your gaze attached to a bird soaring across the landscape ahead of you when a sudden voice pulled you swiftly out.

“Whatchu’ writing about?” The man asked, his tone was bright and as you looked over at him you saw the beaming smile stretched across his features. His eyes showed a confident but kind manner, brown curls stuck to his forehead and the beginnings of a beard covered the bottom half of his face.

“If I knew, I would tell you.” You quipped back, turning to face the man in order to see him properly. He had a muscular physique, no doubt a sportsman - you had thought at the time - an explosion of colour seeping out from his shorts caught your eye as you clocked the tattoos; they weren’t the only ones either as little drawings were littered over his hands and arms.

“Nice tattoos.” You complimented, nodding over to him. If it was at all possible, his smile grew larger and he put his fist out.

“I’m Daniel, by the way, Daniel Ricciardo.”

The rest was history - an adventure packed history. One filled with enough adrenaline to last you for the rest of your existence. The introductions had also prompted your next plot idea so the following week when you had returned to London you turned it into your agent - who had immediately loved the outline you had presented.

A few hours later and the start of the Belgium grand prix was approaching but still the track was resembling more of a spa - ironically - than a safe and functional track. Dan walked in from the drivers parade and shivered - his coat having provided no cover.

Frowning, you got up and handed him a towel, “What are the conditions like?” Nerves laced your tone. Dan sat down, shrugging, “They’re what we expected them to be like but it’s really rough. If we can even see 6 feet ahead it would be a miracle.”

A miracle was something they were all desperate for and before they knew it the race had been red flagged - deemed too dangerous to race so all of the teams were in their garages coming up with ways to entertain themselves.

You had made your way out of the McLaren garage to join Daniel who was wandering up and down the pitlane looking for a way to cause havoc.

You crept up to him and grabbed his shoulders and shouted: “boo,” in his ear causing him to jump up in shock and scream. You and many witnesses were doubled over in laughter as the Australian held his hand to his chest.

“I just came to say -” You started, “That you looked like you were about to do something mischievous and I wanted in on whatever your plan was.”

Dan looked at you with complete adoration in his eyes, a lopsided grin formed on his face. At that moment, he had never loved you more. It was a strange feeling that he couldn’t quite describe - it was just one he felt warming up his entire body. One thing he had always adored about you was the way you understood him - at the beginning of the relationship he knew you had found it hard to deal with his childish, devil may care attitude. As soon as you relaxed more around him, you two became more comfortable with one another - you decided to try his way of living. Letting fate take you to your next adventure and enjoying the unpredictability of it all. From your first adrenaline seeking adventure Dan had managed to persuade you to join him in - he knew he had found his partner in crime. Most importantly, Dan had taught you a way of living that was more enjoyable, a way of living that allowed you to get more out of life and push your comfort zone right to the limit.

“I have a few ideas.” He smirked, then grabbed your hand twirling you around as though you were ballroom dancing.

“What are you doing?” You giggled, the corners of your eyes crinkled as he pulled you into his chest, guiding one of your hands to rest on his shoulder as he grasped the other in his and held them up as though you were dancing the waltz; finally placing his hand on your waist.

“I don’t suppose you would have seen it but in 2015, the American qualifying was cancelled due to rain and to pass the time I danced with my teammate. I figured I would make a tradition of it.” He explained, twirling you around again.

“Did Lando not want to dance with you?” You questioned, the corners of your lips quirked up. Daniel stopped and took a step back. For a moment you thought you had said something wrong but then a spray of water splashed up the front of your coat. Gasping, you wiped the water from your face and Daniel’s smug smile came into focus. You looked down to where he was standing and saw a gaping hole that had now filled up with water.

“You little-” You had begun, a smile betraying you entirely as it crept upon your features. You wanted to pretend to be angry but he had caught you off guard.

“I thought that you would be a nicer dance partner - but apparently not.” He retorted, biting down on his lip in an attempt to stifle his laughter at your facial expressions. You looked at him and then down at the puddle, back at Daniel and then decided what your next move would be; before you could however he had picked you up over his shoulder, spinning around happily.

“Daniel-” You protested, having to close your eyes to avoid feeling motion sick. You heard him chortle then give in as you felt your two feet touch the ground once again. You pouted at him, strands of hair now stuck to your forehead - it was a sight to behold. Daniel’s heart skipped a beat, his breath becoming shallower as he brushed the loose strands of hair from your face. He had decided at that moment that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, he was ready to start the next chapter of his life with you. It would be a brand new adventure and probably the scariest yet.

“Marry me.” He mumbled, brushing his thumb over your cheek. He froze, an idea sparked, turning on his heel he fled in the direction of the McLaren garage.

Your eyebrows drew together in confusion, your heart thumping against your ribs. Drawing your lower lip between your teeth, you glanced around you only to realise the whole of the pitlane and grandstand of fans had fallen silent - watching on in anticipation. Had they heard what he had said? How could they have, Daniel had muttered so quietly even you had struggled to hear the words that tumbled from his lips. Little did you know, a camera had caught every moment and you were now the sole focus as you waited for Daniel to come back.

Moments later and he was running out of the McLaren garage, something in his left hand. You squinted to get a better look, from where you were standing all you could see was a flash of blue - but as he came closer you realised what he was holding was in fact a Haribo packet.

Your hands flew to cover your mouth, you knew exactly what he was about to do. You were fighting back tears of joy as he opened the haribo packet and pulled out a gummy ring, got down on one knee and said: “Marry me. Our new adventure, just you and me. My partner in crime.”

Tears ran down your cheeks as you nodded fervently, words appearing to fail you. You flung your arms around his neck. There was an eruption of cheer from around you, as fans whistled and clapped and fellow teams called out in congratulations.

You placed a hand either side of Daniel’s face, tears shone in his eyes. To most a gummy ring would seem immature - laughable even but to you, it confirmed to you how much you loved the man standing in front of you. The gummy ring he had presented to you meant so much more than being a Haribo. It represented you both as a couple. A love that was unconditional and would never get old and yet whilst you both would age - the love you had for one another would stay youthful, unpredictable and exciting.

You were more than ready to start the next chapter of your adventure with the man you loved most.

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the-insomniac-emporium · 3 years

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Slumbering Hearts (Alcina Dimitrescu/Reader, Soulmate AU) Pt. 2

Fandom: Resident Evil: Village Rating: T for language Warnings: None Summary: In a wicked twist of fate, you find out your soulmate is none other than your employer, Lady Dimitrescu. To your misery, she (at first) seems equally displeased, her heart already belonging to another. But in time, the two of you find yourselves wondering… could the universe be right, after all? Soulmate AU in which every person has a unique “soul mark”, which they share with their soulmate. Notes: Reader gets a bit of a backstory here, with just enough concrete details to serve the plot in future chapters. Hopefully enough is kept vague for people to enjoy it. Now... Time to meet your new kids-in-law/the gremlins :) Previous Chapters: 1: In The Shadow Of Giants

2: Uncertain Destinations

“You already know my name, as well as my fate, and I have neither threats nor demands to make of you. I am at your mercy, regrettably, with nothing more to say. Shall we consider ourselves ‘introduced’? Or is there more you wish to ask of me?” You wonder, eying ‘Alcina’ with a bored expression. It felt odd to refer to her that way, even within the confines of your mind. She had been ‘Lady Dimitrescu’ for as long as you could remember; starting with your years in the village, and continuing through your months here at the castle. One day, perhaps, you would grow used to calling her by her first name. For now, you simply hoped to focus on other matters.

“Tell me of yourself, your past. Who were you before you came here?” Alcina asks, surprising you. What did it matter, now that you were stuck here? At first you shrug, avoiding eye contact, not wanting to open yourself up to her. But before long she’s placed a hand on your shoulder, applying just enough pressure to encourage you to speak. You win this round, you think.

“Somehow I doubt you’ll find it terribly interesting. I was born in the outskirts of the village, on a small farm, just like any other. I had a pet dog, went to ‘school’ with my neighbors, and spent my weekends volunteering with the church. The only thing you might not expect is that I lived outside the village for about a decade. Traveled for a while, never really staying anywhere for terribly long. Eventually, I got tired, and so I came back to help my parents with what little property they had left,” you explain, quietly. Being vague had been intentional, considering the nature of a few details. Did she need to know why you had left? Or that you had once revered Mother Miranda?... No, because if she learned that, it would not be long before she learned that you had changed your mind years ago. Something told you that she wouldn’t appreciate your lack of faith in her mistress. “That was six months ago, roughly. Barely got to spend time with my parents before I was ‘donated’ to the staff here.”

“Not many ever leave the village. Those that do rarely, if ever, return. How particular,” Alcina replies, giving a soft hum. There’s something in her expression that tells you she’ll eventually ask you to elaborate. For now, however, she seems content to move on. Internally you sigh in relief. “I suppose this is sufficient to sate my curiosity, for the time being. Now come with me, I’d like to introduce you to my daughters, to ensure that they understand you are… off limits.” With that said she stands, once more reminding you just how small and fragile you are in comparison, before heading towards the exit. You’re nearly forced to jog in order to keep up with her long strides. As she leads you through hallways, down a flight of stairs, and past several nervous looking maidens, she slows down the slightest bit, having eventually noticed your struggle. Admittedly, that’s more kindness than you would have anticipated. Perhaps she was used to adjusting her pace for her daughters?

Whatever the reason, you do appreciate it. Still, by the time you arrive at your destination, the castle’s library, your legs are feeling the smallest bit sore. Brushing off the ache, you follow Alcina inside. Then you’re taking in the sights, having not been here before, admiring the impressive collection. Glad I’m not responsible for cleaning this place, you think as you pass by dozens of filled shelves. Before long you encounter the three daughters. They’re sitting in a semi-circle, each with their own book, though they’re quick to sit up once they spy their mother. One by one they’re smiling up at her, not even sparing you a moment’s glance. Admittedly you’re glad for that. What good could come from their attention, especially when they don’t yet know who you ‘truly’ are?

“I’m glad to see you’re all in one place, my darlings. There has been a… development, of sorts,” Alcina says, speaking in the same tone one might use to address a faculty meeting. In a less intimidating household, it would have been much harder to hold in a laugh. Was this always how she spoke to her children? For their sake, you hoped not (though the concept was amusing). Regardless, it is at this point that the daughters notice you, with one of them looking intrigued enough to send a shiver down your spine. You’re pretty sure her name is Daniela, being the only one you haven’t met before today. A toothy grin spreads on her lips, and once you make eye contact you swear that she winks at you. This literally could not be any worse, you think, unable to stop yourself from frowning.

“Does it have to do with this little thing?” Daniela purrs, taking a step towards you. Instantly both Alcina and yourself are tensing up. While your soulmate shifts in front of you, an incredibly faint rosy tint to her cheeks, all you can do is pinch the bridge of your nose between two fingers.

“This ‘little thing’ is not your newest playtoy, Daniela. Rather, they are my-” she hesitates, disliking the way the word feels in her mouth- “soulmate. I expect the three of you to behave, understood? At the very most, you are allowed to prevent them from leaving the premises, but even then I expect you to remain gentle. Have I made myself clear?” Alcina asks. Now she’s not the only one blushing, as Daniela looks so embarrassed that you wonder if she’ll pass out. Maybe now you’ll think twice about flirting with everyone you meet, you think, remembering the various rumors you’ve heard about her. For a moment, part of you imagines what your relationship with her would look like, were you to continue ‘courting’ her mother. Could this be a moment you could torment her with for life? Get some cheeky revenge for all the maidens who couldn’t risk it? A lovely thought, though one soon interrupted.

“Of course, mother. We will not lay a single finger on them, unless we have no other choice. Right, sisters?” Bela replies, turning to her siblings with an expectant look. Neither of them seem terribly pleased, but they nod, each giving their own verbal affirmations. All three spend a few moments glancing you over, reevaluating you now that they know who you are, appraising your worth. It’s not hard to imagine that they all find you lacking- at least in comparison to their mother. “Are introductions in order? We’ve met before, but I hardly know anything about them. It would be… nice to properly meet the newest edition to our family.” The way Bela says the words makes you nervous, and the way Cassandra grins only worsens the feeling.

“If you desire such, I see no reason to forgo such a thing. Perhaps the three of you could give them a tour? I must return to my duties, and I doubt they have seen much of the castle, given their… former occupation,” Alcina admits, softly. Was this a confirmation that you’d no longer have to spend every day working yourself to the bone? On one hand you were somewhat relieved, but you also regretted the possible loss of your preferred coping method. Worse, were you really going to spend who knows how long with the dreaded Dimitrescu daughters? They were going to rip you to shreds, at least verbally, you were sure of it. How could you ever meet their expectations? If they were anything like their mother, you would never be enough to satisfy them. Or at least that is what you assumed.

“I’ve seen a fair bit,” you interject, awkwardly, hating the way it brings everyone’s gaze back to you. Alcina’s lips twitch, as she fights back a frown. Evidently she didn’t appreciate you countering her suggestion.

“Please, we insist,” Bela fires back, a pleasant tone covering her thinly-veiled animosity. “I’m sure we’ll have a wonderful time getting to know each other. You do want to learn more about your soulmate’s children, don’t you?” Something about the way she speaks makes you want to laugh. When you smile back at her, it’s without a hint of any placating intentions, rather a dewdrop of mischief. Bold of her to assume that you wanted to make her mother happy. After all, it was clear from her phrasing that this was a ‘test’, a ruse to ‘reveal your true colors’ to Alcina. But you were as uneasy about your part in this as Bela was, neither of you finding yourself a suitable match for Alcina. Despite the way she narrows her eyes at you, her mother is smiling again, glad that she had a way to keep you occupied for the time being.

“It’s settled then,” she says, moving to give each of her daughters a kiss on top of their heads. They giggle at the affection, looking rather proud of themselves. Then she turns to you, hesitating, clearly having the instinct to give you a kiss as well. Half of you wants to stand on your tippy-toes, expectantly, wondering if she’d do it (and how flustered it would make her). Instead, you pretend not to notice, accepting the awkward shoulder pat she ends up giving you. “I will see you this evening, for dinner. Do try to enjoy yourself. But don’t forget-” she leans in until her mouth is right next to your ear, breath tickling your neck- “behave yourself. I will not tolerate any tomfoolery, understood?” Alcina does not pull away until you’ve nodded, and you do not relax until the library door has shut behind her.

Except now you’re alone with her daughters. Wonderful.

---------------------------

Dealing with finances was not, to put it simply, Alcina’s ‘favorite’ activity. Although she employed someone to handle the majority of the paperwork, she made sure to go over it herself to ensure accuracy. There were many aspects to her business, being both legitimate and illegitimate, technically. One could never be too careful about their records. After all, failing to file tax returns had taken down Al Capone, of all people. Who was to say that such a mistake, or one in a similar vein, could not damage House Dimitrescu? Certainly it wouldn’t be enough to ruin them entirely, but it could lead to certain ‘nuisances’ bothering the village. At the end of the day, Alcina cared more about the impact it would have on Mother Miranda than anything else, even the possible decline of her household.

A nasty habit, really. Few knew the extent of her self-entitled devotion to the cult leader. The only bond that ran deeper was that she had with her daughters, who meant more to her than she could ever vocalize. Even then, she viewed them as a gift from Miranda, which in turn strengthened her love for the woman. Now that love leaked into everything she did. With a flourish of her pen, she signed away some of this month’s earnings. So what if she already ‘donated’ a large portion of her income to the village and its leader? Certainly this was a way to show the level of her devotion? Certainly Miranda would take notice, eventually? Praise her for it? Take Alcina’s hand in her own, thumb caressing her skin, eyes filled with a long-sought affection?...

The sound of passing footsteps brings her back into the moment, and Alcina stares down at the mountain of paperwork she’d yet to approve. With a deep sigh she readjusts her reading glasses, sets the finished document aside, then gets back to work. A part of her mind soon starts to drift to other subjects. To you, primarily. Would your affection be easier to gain? Steadier?... But could it, in any way, compare to Miranda’s? No matter how she tries to brush the thoughts away, they nip at her heels, circling her head like vultures. Only time would give her the relief she so desperately sought.

---------------------------

“So, don’t tell me you really think you’re my mother’s soulmate, right?” Cassandra says, somewhat grumbling, as you trail behind Bela. It’s less than five minutes into the tour, with the siblings having behaved so far, focused on actually showing you around. At her words, both her sisters started walking slower. Their gazes were still locked ahead of themselves. The way they positioned themselves, however, made it clear that they were listening. “Is it some elaborate scheme, hmm? Did you spend a dozen hours with the other servants, noting every last detail about her soul mark, before copying it? Do you really think that you’ll get away with this?” Well, ‘twas good to know who the most paranoid of the three were.

“Ah, yes, it’s all a great, horrible ruse. You’ve caught me red-handed, I’m afraid,” you chime, sarcastically. A hand goes to your forehead as you fake faintness. “I’m just so desperate to be scrutinized by yourself and your mother, to have my every movement watched, to somehow be less free than I already was. I simply… cannot… believe… that you saw through my bluff.” With that you give a dramatic sigh, pausing in the hallway to give Cassandra a judgemental look. If not for Alcina’s instructions to keep you safe, you’re certain she would have beheaded you on the spot. “I’m not claiming to understand the universe’s decision. But I’m also not giving up immediately, no matter how much the three of you scare me.” At that, Bela stops in her tracks, slowly turning to you. Instinctively you go to take a step backwards, only for Cassandra to catch you, holding you in place. Next thing you know, the oldest daughter is grabbing your head, staring you right in the eyes.

“Answer one question, and maybe I’ll make sure you don’t fall victim to some tragic, unfortunate accident. Can you see yourself loving my mother?” Bela asks, more intense than you’ve ever seen her before. Despite that, you don’t tremble, swallowing your fear long enough to reply.

“Honestly? I don’t know. She’s terrifying… and beautiful. Cruel to some of the maidens I’ve met… and loving to you three. I… I don’t know if I can love her,” you admit, gulping. “But isn’t that part of the point of trying? To find out? I am going to try, for both my sake and hers, to love her. To cherish her. What more would you ask of me? I cannot tell you how the days to come will go, whether or not your mother will enjoy them, or even whether she could love me. This is not a situation you can threaten into resolving the way you want it to. So let me go, finish the tour, and give me a chance. You owe your mother that much, do you not?” Soon enough the hands keeping you in place loosen their grip, and Bela turns away with a scoff. Honestly, you can hardly believe that your little speech worked. You aren’t given much time to celebrate, however, as the sisters quickly resume their walking. Before long, Daniela is speaking up between giggles.

“I like this one already.”

#alcina dimitrescu x reader #lady dimitrescu x reader #alcina dimitrescu #lady dimitrescu #resident evil: village #re8 village #gremlin trio is protective #they're like #you're not cool enough for our mom #hey tumb please stop fucking up the order of my tags #this is the second time you've messed up my attempt at being funny

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mercy-burning · 3 years

Text

Fake Fiancée - Part 3

Pairing: Spencer Reid x fem!Reader Summary: Reader and Spencer write letters back and forth, both of them slowly starting to fall in deeper. Category: Smut (18+) Content Warnings: Strong language, sexual themes, masturbation (male and female), sexting, face sitting Word Count: 6.3k

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART 3 | PART 4

MASTERLIST

NOTE: Hello!! Sorry this has been so long in the making, but for a while my inspiration for this story absolutely disappeared, and then I tried to think of how to bridge the previous chapters to the final one with absolutely no luck. And then I re-read Part 2 and got stuck on the letter, thus this chapter was born! I didn’t want to drag this miniseries out any longer than 4 parts, and the letter format combined with other inner monologuing and description really allowed me to do that in an interesting way that hopefully doesn’t feel rushed!

It was so much fun and very refreshing to write. I hope you like how it turned out!

Thank you all for being so patient while I get my shit together 😅 Love you guys! Enjoy 🥰

***

We've been sending letters back and forth for about a month now.

If I'm being honest, it took me about two weeks to decide whether or not I actually wanted to send one back, but could you blame me?

Here was this guy I couldn't stop thinking about after a one-night stand, only for him to catch me—months later at the same exact bar we'd met in—flirting with his friend. And then after our sexual encounter that night, all the things we said, the connection I thought we had, all of it...

He left it all behind the next morning, only to send me a letter in the mail.

I was pissed.

Sure, it was a nice letter, but the fact that he'd reduced what we had down to a piece of paper and scribbled ink had made me angrier than I cared to admit.

In retrospect, I may have overreacted.

Over time I started re-reading his words, and the more I thought about it all, the more I started to regret my anger. And more than anything, I just wanted to see him again. I couldn't stay mad at him, not when all I could picture was his pouty face and nervous hands. His sunbeam of a smile peeked through the clouds of my anger here and there, and the longer it settled, the more it bathed me in a warm light that should have made me happy. But all it did was make me long for him.

Once I'd actually started writing that first letter back, I wondered why I hadn't jumped on the opportunity in the first place. I mean, after all the cliché shit we'd experienced in our short relationship thus far, adding love letters to the mix was just as perfect as you could get, right?

Spencer,

I'm sorry it's taken me this long to finally write you back. Truthfully I wasn't sure I wanted to write you at all, but your letter kept drawing me back in. I couldn't stop re-reading it, imagining you sitting down somewhere and contemplating every word as you wrote them down. I wondered if you'd thrown out hundreds of pieces of paper after messing up when you could have just as well typed out a letter without wasting them.

And then by that point, all I could think about was just you.

I always pictured what your living room looks like, or your kitchen table, or your office, or wherever you sit down to write. I wondered if you looked like one of those hopeless writers in the movies that have a scruffy face, coffee stains on their white tee shirts, and messy hair that hasn't been washed in days due to lack of inspiration.

But in the end, the image that won out over all the others was just you as I remember.

I'm not going to lie, that image most of the time was your body above mine while I held my hand to your throat, but for the sake of romance I guess I should probably tell you what it was every other time— the outfit you were wearing the first time we met.

When I think of you, I think of your hand nervously clutching that beer bottle for dear life and the other one occasionally pushing your glasses up your nose. I think of your eyes every time they'd look away from me, probably to keep yourself from staring too long.

But the thing that always gets me the most is your smile— even when it comes in little flashes, after you've said something you probably thought was lame. You covered it up with that perfect smile.

I've dreamt of that smile nearly every night since I met you, and I wouldn't be opposed to seeing it in person again.

I'd love to meet you for dinner some time.

But since you did manage to "more or less abandon me twice now", I think it's only fair that you make it up to me first.

Make the next letter a good one, and we'll see what happens.

Yours, Y/N

P.S. I hope my handwriting is as pretty as you hoped. I'd hate to disappoint.

***

Y/N,

I'm incredibly grateful that you've given me a chance to redeem myself. Every night since I last saw you has also been spent wondering what your house looks like on the inside... What you looked like reading my letter (perhaps at your kitchen table?)

And this might sound silly, but I've also wondered what your bedroom looks like. You may be laughing at me, because I've been in your bedroom, but in my defense I was a bit preoccupied to really take notice of my surroundings— I was simply surrounded by you.

But since I've been to your home, I figured it was only fair that I invite you to mine, possibly for dinner. I don't know how to cook much— in fact I'm pretty awful at making anything that's not a can of Spaghetti-Os... But one of my co-workers is an excellent chef, and with a recipe from him and some practice under my belt, I'm sure I can pull it off.

But by "some" practice, I mean probably weeks or months of practice. So hopefully that gives you ample time to mull it over.

Perhaps in the meantime we can get to know each other through our letters. And who's to say, it might spare us the awkward "getting to know each other" stage of a first date. Though, pretty much every stage of every date is awkward for me, so it might not help at all.

Regardless, I'm very much looking forward to hearing from you again.

I do get called away for work quite often, however. So I apologize in advance if I can't get back to you as soon as I'd like.

But in any instance, you're still welcome to text message or call me. I know it isn't as romantic or personal as handwritten letters, but it's certainly practical.

Yours, Spencer.

P.S. Your handwriting is just as beautiful as I'd imagined it would be. And you could never disappoint me.

That being said, if you somehow decide that this letter wasn't up to your standards and reject my offer, I may just find myself in the deepest despair imaginable.

***

I was definitely way too in my head about this.

It was just a text. Sure, it was a risky text to send, but I had no doubt in my mind that it would be fine in the end.

So why was my stomach churning just thinking about sending it?

Some might have chalked it up to my fat ol' crush on Spencer, but I knew it ran deeper. It had to do at least a little with my history with Patrick... The man stood me up and sent divorce papers to my place of work rather than to my face... And as much as I liked to think I was completely over it, we'd been together for years, and it really did a number on me.

I didn't want to ruin this new thing with Spencer so badly that I was overthinking everything.

So even though I could see his face opening the text, my heart doing jumps at the mere thought of it, a bigger part of me worried that it would be a step too far in the wrong direction. I didn't want him to think I was only in this for... sexual reasons. Which, don't get me wrong, have been pretty damn great so far, but I really did want to get to know him and see where this went.

In the end I decided to hold off. I settled for something a little lighter.

Spencer,

Don't feel too bad about your cooking skills. I've been through my fair share of burnt frozen pizzas to know how you're feeling. So the fact that you've given yourself the opportunity to practice and learn a recipe just for me is extremely romantic, and I appreciate the thought.

I won't stop you from following through, though I'm telling you now that no amount of slaving away in the kitchen will make me change my mind about you. We could probably eat stale crackers on the floor and I'd still find you utterly fascinating.

Maybe that's a bit too extreme, but I hope you get my point.

Anyway, I'd love to come over for dinner some time. Whenever you think you're ready to show me those improved cooking skills, you just let me know and I'll happily make my way over.

In the meantime, I'm thinking of sending more with my letters. I don't want to give away too much, but I will say that I'm very crafty. And don't feel like you need to send anything in return, though I'll let you know if I ever change my mind.

Yours,

Y/N

***

In the bottom right corner of the letter, right next to her signature, was a red lipstick stain in the shape of... well, her lips. It was common sense to know that they were hers and no one else's, not just a stamp or a drawing, and rather her actual lip stain... But even without it, I would have been able to tell by their shape.

Was that pathetic?

I could hear her, picture her in front of me, hovering above me with red-painted lips in the shape of a smirk, visibly cooing as she called me names... I could feel the ghost of her fingertips trailing up my throat and tilting my chin up to look at her as she rocked her hips teasingly into mine...

The whine I let out truly was pathetic.

You pathetic, needy little thing, I could hear her say...

My hands clutched the paper so tightly I thought I'd tear it, but it didn't matter when all I could see while staring at it was her luscious, red lips... Her voice was right there in my ear, like she was really beside me, watching me...

Oh, God, what would she do if she saw me right now? Staring at her lipstick stained paper and subconsciously grinding down into my chair...

You pathetic, needy little thing...

My hips jolted with a small, broken shout of her name, and in no time the front of my pants were flooded with warmth. I felt her eyes burning into me from the void, sparking to life with amusement as her voice crept into the deep corners of my brain and whispered praises to me.

Ohh, what a good little whore... Getting off to the thought of me... That's it, sweet boy... Come for me...

By now my eyes had squeezed shut and the letter was crumpled in my hand, the other reaching down to add much-appreciated burning friction to my crotch as I rode out my orgasm. My whole body tensed and shuddered at every sensation, from Y/N's image behind my eyes to the sweet warmth that pooled in my underwear and soaked through onto my hand.

Holy mother of—

The next time I saw her, I was screwed. I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face. I'd surely go red the second I laid eyes on her, and she'd know right away what I was thinking and feeling.

Simply put, it scared and excited me at the same time.

She'd utterly and thoroughly wrecked me, and if she didn't already know it, she certainly would soon.

Y/N,

I'm not sure what you intend to send in addition to your letters, but if it's anything near the sentiment of your lip stain, then you might have to refrain in favor of my poor, fragile heart.

See, it aches for you. It's bad enough I think of you always, but the moment I saw the shape of your lips on that letter, my heart almost shot straight out of my chest. Maybe it was the familiar shape of your lips or the implications of its place next to your name, signed after the word 'yours', that sent me into a tailspin, but whatever the case...

I'm pretty sure I've completely fallen under your spell.

I suppose I should also tell you that my heart wasn't the only part of my body that came to life at your added signature. I assure you, it took no time at all for me to come undone at the thought of your lips pressing gently against the paper, imagining that they were instead pressing to my skin... I didn't even have to touch myself, really. It just happened. Because of you and you alone.

I hope that wasn't too forward, but I felt it necessary that you know just how much of an effect you have on me.

If I could see you again in a millisecond, it wouldn't be soon enough.

That being said, I am determined to spend as much time as possible to perfect this dish for our dinner. Because you deserve nothing but the best, even if you insist that you could settle for less.

It's the least I can do.

Yours, Spencer.

And a week and a half later, when I didn't get a letter back on time, I was sure I'd messed up for good.

My mind was racing a mile a minute, yelling at myself for even thinking for a second of being that detailed in a letter without any consent. Sure, she'd taken it a step up by signing off her letter with a kiss, but I'd been absolutely idiotic in telling her that I got off to it.

I was honestly well and truly prepared to show up at her house with a big bouquet of flowers and an apology so wordy and probably too long for anyone's liking, in hopes that she'd forgive me for making this huge mistake.

Thankfully, though, it wasn't needed.

My phone chimed as I was pacing, my lip near bloody with how hard I'd been chewing at it, and I saw an unknown number attached to a text message and photo attachment.

The photo wouldn't load (I would have to plug it into my laptop and transfer the image there to see it— a fact which always irked Penelope to the core), but with the sentences I saw above the file, I almost knew exactly what I'd find when I had the means to see it.

There. Now we're even... Who says text messages can't be romantic and personal? XXX, Y/N

I felt like Bambi as I scrambled to my laptop three rooms over, stumbling over weak legs with my phone clutched tightly in my hand. My heart raced faster than it ever had as I started everything up and retrieved the right cord for my phone. With a few shakes and stumbles here and there, I briefly entertained the idea of upgrading my phone.

I probably would have left the apartment to do it immediately after seeing her photo attachment, but the moment it loaded up on my screen, my brain and body lost all ability to function properly.

A familiar burn coursed through the lower half of my body and tightened my chest at the sight of her, open and exposed and... wet.

My laptop screen was completely taken over by the image of Y/N's pussy, visibly glistening and aroused. A manicured hand—her hand— was in frame as well, middle finger resting snugly between the supple skin of her wet lips.

The fact that I only tasted her once felt downright cruel.

I tried to imagine it again— my face buried between the softness of her thighs. As much as I wanted to lay her down and indulge myself as long as possible, taking all the time in the world to slowly devour her and truly explore her for myself, what ran through my mind then was something more in the vein of our dynamic thus far.

My mind wandered, specifically to a place where I was the one laying down as she sat down directly onto my face and gave me what she thought I deserved. My hands were tied to the bed, maybe handcuffed. All I knew was that I couldn't touch her, and it bothered me. So I whined, and every time the sound left my mouth, she would let up, lifting further out of reach and causing me to instinctively reach my head up to chase her.

You greedy little slut... Take what I give you...

Desperately seeking her approval, I told her I'd be good and rejoiced when she lowered herself down to me again, allowing me to me completely wrapped up in her once more. My tongue lapped and lapped, gathering as much of her as I could before she'd inevitably leave again.

But she never did.

Somehow I kept my quiet, even though it was extremely difficult, and ate her out like my life depended on it. She glided smoothly over my face, coating more than just my lips in her arousal, and it thrilled me to my very core.

Every time I breathed in I could smell her, every time she groaned out my name my stomach fluttered, and it wasn't long before she was clutching my hair, shaking above me while I drank her in and repressed my whines.

My hips were uncontrollable though, bucking up into nothing and begging for any type of stimulation.

But then suddenly it was there— Her hand, firmly wrapping around my dick and gliding over it beautifully with a slickness that she must have transferred from her pussy. I could still taste her as I cried out her name, her movements quickening with every second until—

I didn't even realize I was actually alone until my eyes opened, cum coating my hand, my heartbeat heavy and loud, and the laptop screen in front of me a shade darker signaling a long period of inactivity.

I'd done it again...

And now we most certainly were not even.

I glanced over at my phone—plugged into the laptop—and then down at my lap, and my stomach knotted as my next move rang clear as day.

***

I woke up the next morning to texts from Spencer, and my heart picked up speed, a gentle warmth blooming through my chest at the sight.

I thought maybe he'd thank me for the photo I'd sent. Maybe he'd return it with an influx of messages along the lines of Oh my god, Holy fuck I miss you, and the like.

But what I wasn't expecting was to see a photo in return, of his hand that I'd dreamt of nearly nightly, wrapped firmly around his cock and all of it completely covered in cum.

Below the photo were three messages in a row, and each one gave me more butterflies than the last.

Sorry for low quality. No smartphone.

Also sorry we're not even anymore.

But I'm not sorry I did it- you're too perfect to resist.

***

Dearest Y/N,

I'm sorry you haven't gotten a letter from me in a while. And I know we've kept in touch through texting and calling while I was swamped at work, though now that I have some time off, I'd love to write you again. As much as I enjoy our virtual conversations, I still find sending letters to be my preferred method of communication (only second to speaking with you in person, that is).

Which brings me to the main point I'm trying to make.

I want to see you again. In person. I'm not completely confident in my cooking ability yet, but if you wouldn't mind the potential of it tasting awful, I'd love to have you over. I promise you nothing but the best, and I know that's a high promise, especially considering I probably haven't sold you on the meal, but it's true.

I'd do anything to please you.

And I really do mean 'anything', I hope you understand that.

Yours, Spencer.

***

The thought of seeing him in person again after so long made my hands way shakier than I would have liked. It made no sense the longer I thought about it, because it was obvious that we liked each other, and seeing each other in person wouldn't be a problem. Because it'd never been a problem before.

It irked me.

Still, I knocked on his door and physically shook out my hands, praying I could keep my cool when he finally opened the door.

But I should have known better.

One second I was staring at a large plank of wood, and the next I was staring into frantic eyes, golden and sparkling just as I remembered, but with an added glimmer of fear that matched the shakiness of my hands.

I don't know how long we stood there, just staring at each other, but the longer we did, the more we relaxed. His fear was gone, and the shaking in my hands turned into a dull hum that longed to reach out for him.

Still, I refrained, settling on a simple, "Hey, pen pal..."

By the way he looked at me, silent as ever, I started to wonder if that was a stupid thing to lead with. So I opened my mouth to apologize, to say anything else, but he beat me to it.

"Y/N... I... H—Hi, you look... incredible."

"O—Oh, thanks... Thank you, yeah, I um... figured I should... dress up a little. I know we're not going out anywhere, but I thought it might be nice."

He doesn't need to know that, Y/N, stop talking!

I gave him a small smile and a nervous laugh in an attempt to stop myself, hating how I was so nervous around him.

Spencer didn't seem to mind, though. He let me in and closed the door behind me as I quickly glanced around his apartment. It was littered with greens and browns, books everywhere, and I'd never felt more at home.

"Is it, uh... What you expected?"

"Hmm?" I turned to meet him, his soft voice pulling me from my wandering eyes.

"My apartment."

"Oh! Yeah, it's very you... I love it."

The compliment had his cheeks turning pink, and there was nothing I wanted to do more than kiss them over and over again.

And just like that, once again we were caught just staring at each other. I didn't know what he was thinking, and honestly, I didn't know what I was thinking either. All I knew in that moment was that Spencer Reid was standing right in front of me, close enough to touch, and I wanted to give in.

I was so wrapped up in the idea of feeling him that I almost didn't hear him speak. I wouldn't have heard him at all had it not been for his lips moving.

"I'm sorry, I haven't started dinner yet..."

"That's okay," I reassured. Or, at least I tried to. Really, though, I think it sounded more like I was uninterested in what he was saying, my voice flat and lifeless as I continued to stare at him.

Suddenly we were closer, and I had to look up higher to see his face, butterflies swarming in my stomach at the way he looked down at me.

"You're sure?"

"Mhm."

"I can start it now if you're getting hungry."

Food isn't what I'm hungry for, is what I thought. I almost said it, too, because he was even closer now, his hands coming out to touch mine. If they were humming before, they were certainly blaring with life now, growing hot under his light touch. And it took everything I had not to look down, because it had been too damn long since I'd seen his hands in person, and I wanted them on me immediately.

He could tell, too. He could sense my urgency, feel the longing radiating off my presence, and I knew this because I could feel his, too. His eyes practically dared me to say what I was thinking, and so I did.

"Don't you dare."

It was hard to tell who moved in first, but it really didn't matter.

I was here, in his apartment, feeling his lips glide over mine with reckless abandon, and that's all that mattered.

His hands gripped my waist so tightly I would have thought he was trying to hold me in place, to make sure I wasn't ever going to leave his sight again. And if that was the case, I would have let him hold me there forever.

My hands, meanwhile, clutched at his hair, forcing myself closer and closer to him with every sharp tug. I reveled in the way he whined into my mouth with every little thing I did, whether it was a tug of the hair or a roll forward of the hips, or even a swipe of my tongue over his.

He was putty in my hands yet again, and just like every time before, it turned me into a fucking goner.

Being with Spencer wasn't like anything I'd ever known. And the only other thing I'd known was Patrick. He didn't want me, not really, and even though he was good to me in the beginning, it was never like this.

I didn't come over to his apartment with shaking hands. I didn't send him fucking love letters almost weekly, and I certainly didn't get kissed like this...

Spencer was drunk on me, and I wasn't any sober myself.

"That picture you sent me..." I mumbled over his lips, still keeping myself as close as I could while I got out what I needed to say. "Where did you take that?"

We kissed for a few more seconds, unable to stay apart, before he answered, his voice just as breathy and brimming with desperation as mine. "My office. Just down the hall."

I kissed him again, hard, and then pulled back to look him in the eyes. They widened when I said, "Show me."

He dragged me through the apartment on rushed legs, and I almost laughed at the urgency, only stopped by the realization that I was just as urgent. It occurred to me that perhaps my laughing at his urgency might just be a slight turn on for him, given our history with my playful degradation, but still I pulled back— Tonight felt... different.

It didn't feel like we were headed in the direction of me calling him my dirty little whore throughout the night, and it was something I was more than okay with. In fact, I welcomed it, excited to see where this new night would take us.

We ended up in his office, which remained more or less the same aesthetic as the rest of his place. In the middle sat a small desk with a laptop and some papers scattered about on it, accompanied by a tall floor lamp and a rolling desk chair.

"Where were you exactly?" I mused, gripping his hand tightly and buzzing at the way his fingers flexed against my own.

"In the chair... I pulled the photo up on my laptop."

"Right. No smartphone."

Spencer hummed in confirmation before dragging me along to the chair, and I fucking giggled as he plopped down and practically pulled me right on top of him, the chair rolling back a foot or two. I went down for a bright, messy kiss that ended with his hands clutching my ass over my skirt and my own cradling his face.

His growing bulge nudged right up into my inner thigh, and I groaned lightly in his mouth, my fingers dragging softly down his jaw and neck until I reached his shoulders.

"What were you thinking about?"

He raised his eyebrow, and I rocked my hips forward with a sly grin, hoping to get my point across. "When you were looking at my picture, in this very chair, what were you thinking about?"

Seeing his eyelids stutter and his tongue dart out at my movements sent a rush through me, and I moved my hips once more to emphasize my urgency.

"I... I thought about you... riding my face. You tied my hands..."

"Oh?" I sighed, rocking forward again and humming into his neck. "Well, that can definitely be arranged if you want it bad enough..."

"Please, Y/N, yes... Please..."

The need dripping from every syllable made it near impossible to breathe, and I was suddenly very inclined to give him everything he wanted. With or without the begging.

So I reluctantly peeled away from him and stood up on weak legs. Staring at Spencer as he sat there, leaning back in the chair with disheveled hair and obvious desire in his eyes, made it all the better when I took my panties off from under my skirt and motioned for him to come forward. "On your knees?"

I would have demanded it in any other situation, but I was feeling a bit more sweet this time around.

And he seemed grateful for it, sliding the chair back further and getting down in front of me. I reached out and played with his hair, trying my hardest to commit his beautiful face to memory. I wanted it burned there for the rest of time.

"Hands?"

Spencer offered his hands to me, and I hummed happily, doing my best to tie his hands together with a makeshift knot from my panties. It wasn't really tight or secure, but it was enough for him to whine as he set them in his lap.

He watched intently as I dropped my skirt—a bit redundant now, but I thought it'd be a nice way to get him more excited. Plus I wanted to see his face (or at lease what I could see of it while it was buried between my legs).

I stepped forward then, looking down at him with a smile while my hands reached out to comb through his hair. "You ready?"

"Uh huh."

The look in his eyes right before I came forward and hovered over his face almost made my come on the spot.

But as fun as that would have been, I was glad for the way my body held off and settled for a beautiful, burning increase of pleasure that dragged out the longer he swiped his tongue through my folds. Actually, I forgot for a moment that I was supposed to be moving, riding his face like he'd thought about.

I willed my eyes open and clutched Spencer's soft locks of hair beneath me, gently rolling my hips and grinding down further on his face. The groan he let out not only felt good against my skin, but it sounded like pure bliss, eliciting a small whimper of my own as I tightened my grip in his hair and rocked faster.

"God, I missed having your mouth on me, baby... You're... so good..."

The longer I spoke the more breathless I became, not because the words didn't come easily, but because I truly believed them to be true.

Spencer really was so fucking good, his tongue the most delicate, divine object of the universe as it drew out every ounce of delight from my body. I may have been the one above him, calling the shots and directing him where and how to please me, but he was the one who clung to my soul like static and politely guided me towards damnation.

I wasn't even sure of my surroundings to tell you the truth. As my body tensed and took me through one of the most blinding pleasures I'd experienced in weeks, My eyes were squeezed so tightly it's like I saw the universe. All I knew was Spencer's lips sucking my clit and my hands deeply rooted in his hair as I shouted incoherently, stars swirling around behind my eyelids.

Truly, for all I knew, we could have been in space. It wouldn't have made any difference.

But eventually it came to be too much. I was reaching a limit I didn't want to get to so quickly, and so I flashed my eyes open and tried to adjust to this brand new atmosphere, unweaving my fingers through pretty brown waves of hair and stepping back to assess the situation.

What I found was the most beautiful man I'd ever known, panting like he'd just ran a marathon and yet harboring the most intense joy and desire a person could hold. He was on his knees, bound hands writhing in his lap as he awaited further instruction and licked up as much of myself on his face as he could before I stopped him.

Under normal circumstances, I would have wanted to absolutely ruin him. That adoring, desperate look in his eye would have spurred me to more devious endeavors, but all I wanted in this moment was to make sure he was satisfied. I wanted to take care of him, to let him know that I longed to make him feel as worshipped and adored as he'd made me feel.

I got down to Spencer's level, quickly removing the fabric from his wrists and hauling him to his feet, where he now towered over me, still waiting for words to address and instruct him.

Instead, I leaned up with soft hands upon his cheeks and pulled him down to meet my lips in a kiss that changed the tone entirely. It was erotic still, of course, what with my arousal infiltrating my taste buds and eliciting a soft sigh from the both of us, but our urgency manifested in sweeter ways... Softer lips, gentle touches of the face, and an exchanging of breath that was so smooth and seamless it felt like we were floating on air.

I was finding it hard to breathe again, but it wasn't an issue in the slightest. In fact, there was nowhere else I'd rather have been than right there, kissing Spencer Reid like we had all the time in the world.

When the breathlessness was a little too much to bear, we pulled away, though only leaving just enough space to breathe. Our lips stayed briefly connected while we caught up, and his hands found their way to the sides of my face. The way they practically engulfed my whole head brought a brief smile to my lips as I finally gave him the words he was looking for.

"I'm so glad I met you," I whispered.

"Funny, I was just thinking the same thing."

We kissed each other again, naturally and with so much ease that I wondered how I had ever lived without him.

And then, as my hands slid gently down his chest, I felt it.

Something that felt very much like a ring attached to a necklace sat right where his heartbeat resided, and I knew exactly which ring it was.

"W—" I pulled back and circled the shape of it with my finger through the shirt, then looked up at him. "Is that what I think it is?"

Spencer looked briefly panicked, pulling away a little and fishing down the front of his shirt for the chain. "Oh... Um, yeah. I, um... I forgot to take it off, I'm sorry. I..."

"You... kept it?"

I observed the diamond as it laid flat on my palm, still attached to the chain and around his neck. Honestly, after all this time I figured he'd never found it or gotten rid of it, seeing as he never brought it up. And yet there it was, glittering in the palm of my hand as my other one presses firmly against Spencer's rapidly beating heart.

"Y—Yeah... It um... It was really the only physical thing I had to remember you—Well, at least until we started sending letters... And I guess I just... W—Wearing it has become such a habit that I forgot to take it off."

"You never take it off?"

I could tell he was nervous, and rightfully so given I wasn't really letting on how I was feeling about the whole thing.

Still, he answered my short question in such a small whisper I'd have thought he was trying not to get in trouble.

"No."

"Why?"

My words certainly weren't helping ease his anxieties, so I remained close, dropping the ring and focusing rather on his eyes. I softened the look in my own and glided my hands down to hold his. His fingers flexed against mine, squeezing them for dear life as he sighed out in relief and flashed me a soft smile.

"Because... I wanted you close to my heart."

With a smile that mirrored his eyes, full of enchantment and pure adoration for the person in front of me, I didn't use my brain and instead focused on what my heart was telling me, consequences be damned.

"I think I might love you..."

Spencer squeezed my hands tighter, that relief spreading out to all his features and brightening that beautiful smile.

"Funny... I was just thinking the same thing."

Our lips met once more, and I swear it was like nothing bad was ever going to happen for the rest of time.

I'd never felt that way. Not once with Patrick did my heart feel settled into place, even during the great parts of our relationship.

And now here I was, with a man who sent me love letters and kept every physical reminder of my existence, who kissed me like I was the most precious thing in the world and slowly mended my wounded heart.

He held me close the whole way to his bedroom and never let me go until the morning. Though, even then his arms outstretched towards me and his fingers flexed, needing to grab onto any part of me that he could find.

And as I was sure I always would, I welcomed him with open arms.

***

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adonis-koo · 3 years

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| 26 |

↳ Summary: You came with the intentions of your best friend landing a job as a stripper. You never meant to catch the eyes of the king stripper of the establishment- Jeon Jungkook, yourself. With what was supposed to be a harmless way of paying off college debt faster you find yourself falling into a very odd and passionate relationship with your new mentor. Between infidelity, passion and jealousy there’s never a dull moment at Cherry Bomb.

↳ Pairing: Stripper!Jungkook/Reader

↳ Genre: Smut, fluff, angst, drama, slice of life, relationship problems without the relationship, reader is such a shy baby protect her, MUTUAL pining, so much sexual frustration,

Word Count: 11k

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Warning: This story touches on both sexual harassment and abuse, please read with caution if any of these things are triggers to you. Additional warnings will be given when a chapter present them.

Sweat beaded down his neck as he noticed the sun going down, shit if he didn’t start running faster he was going to be late…! Jungkook didn’t make any effort to stop by the two girls who had obviously been hoping to talk to him. He didn’t have time for that, not when he just got this next round of pay.

Pausing at the cracked pavement of the apartment building he took a deep breath, wiping the sweat from his brow before calming himself down, inner excitement buzzing inside him as he felt accomplished. Five hundred, that was the number he had made this week. Five hundred, that would be enough for food…! Or- or maybe they could squeeze rent in with it too!

Jungkook felt giddy as passed by the dead brush of old flowers, the paint chipping off the side of the wall by the front door just as it always did, vaguely he could remember when his mom complained about never living somewhere nice.

Maybe this wasn’t an upper-class suburban neighborhood, but it was home. Opening the front door Jungkook paused, feeling a little leery at the sight of empty bottles on the table, his dad couldn’t have been home already, right? Jisoo was curled up on the couch, eyes meekly flickering to meet Jungkook’s before quirking into a little smile of greeting before letting her gaze drop back to her homework, “Mom’s in her room, haven’t seen her since I got home.”

Jungkook pressed his brows together in confusion, usually, she was a little more chipper than that, “Oh…” he breathed out before letting his shoulders slump a little, “Alright, I’m gonna go talk to her for a few minutes, do you need help with your homework?” He paused at the entry kitchen where the small circle table sat, takeout boxes piled up and the occasional pizza box underneath, he should really take the time to try and clean up.

Jisoo’s gaze flickered between her brother and her homework as she nibbled against her lip, “...You don’t have to help me Jungkook…” She felt guilty, he could tell instantly.

Jungkook’s expression twisted a little more stern as he replied, “If I don’t then who will Jisoo?” He cut himself off abruptly as a thick silence hung in the air, Jisoo refused to look at him as she fiddled with her pencil, something she always did when she was nervous. Sighing he ran a hand through his hair, not wanting to scare her though it still disheartened him that she really thought of him like that, “I know I don’t Jisoo, But I don’t mind, okay? Let me just go talk to mom then I’ll be out in a moment to help.”

She only nodded before letting out a soft sigh, curling up against the pillow she had hugged before Jungkook walked into the kitchen, the door ahead closed and it seemed like the lights were turned off, softly knocking Jungkook heard a crash inside as he opened the door, the TV playing in the pitch-black room where the curtains had been closed.

“Mom?” Jungkook furrowed his brows as she wobbly stood up, the cigarette she wasn’t supposed to be smoking in the house pinched between two of her fingers as she struggled to stand up properly, “Kookie…!” Her voice enthusiastic yet somewhat confused, her brows squeezed together as if she struggled to see him, “When did you get home?” She fumbled around the bed as he coughed, waving the cigarette smoke she had blown in his face on accident out of the way.

“I...I just got home mom, look I know it’s been hard with dad but….” He scratched his neck, feeling a little apprehensive before pulling the thick wad of cash out of his pocket, “I wanted to help out so…! Here, maybe…maybe me, you and Jisoo can go to the store and…!” He felt proud of himself at his mom's eyes lighting up quickly snatching the money from his hands, “Maybe we could get a few new sets of clothes or….mom?” He paused as she finished counting the money with an exasperated sigh as if inconvenienced.

“You couldn’t have gotten another hundred?” His mom complained, her face saying that this was absolutely not enough, Jungkook felt his lips part, fumbling but no words came out as he felt his previous excitement begin to deflate.

It...it wasn’t good enough…?

“Jungkook I would have thought you’d be more useful than this,” She sighed as she turned her back, annoyance filtering her features as she waved a dismissive hand, “I should’ve anticipated this though, I can never count on you to be enough when I need it. Go help your sister with her shit.”

She puffed from her cigarette once more as Jungkook felt the frustrated anger quell in him, stiff in place as he felt the urge to swallow the hard rock that was suddenly stuck in his throat, his mom turned around as her scorned expression furrowed, “Are you deaf in the head? Get the fuck out of here and go do something useful. God you’re so fucking needy.”

Jungkook had made sure to slam the door on his way out, running a hand through his hair as he felt the anger seethe through his veins, why was it never enough? All he wanted was to help! To be validated and good enough for his mother? Growling he hadn’t even registered when his fist slammed into the wall, again….and again...and again.

His fist throbbed in sharp pain and it was already becoming swollen as blood trickled against the floor. Jisoo didn’t have the nerve to ask when she carefully wrapped his hand.

….

Memories like those were the most prominent, especially after triggering situations such as just a few hours ago in which Jungkook and you had experienced a near kidnapping. The ride home had been painfully silent and it wasn’t until in the shower that you had broken down crying and continued until you could no longer keep yourself awake.

Jungkook however, wasn’t tired at all, the opposite in fact, his eyes had been staring blankly at the ceiling for the last two hours, his mind filtering memories and briefly wondering, where had he gone wrong in his life? You were curled up against him, your body relaxed and your face buried against his side.

With you sound asleep, Jungkook didn’t feel the obligation to hold a pleasant expression, and thus his bitter glare at the dirty white ceiling you had commented on painting one day. Where did he go wrong? Was he really that terrible of a person, was he considered a pain in the ass as a child?

In fact, Jungkook felt strongly when he was younger, about wishing he had never been born, so that he wouldn’t have had to endure such incredibly hurtful parents. Jungkook wanted nothing more than to cherish his mother’s love. His lips quivered a little, his top lip twitching a little at the angry gloss of tears in his eyes, he hated it. He hated that it still hurt him almost ten years later.

Jungkook hated more than anything, the permanent stain it had left on his heart, the constant need to prove that he wasn’t needy, that he didn’t need anyone, that he didn’t need to rely on anyone. He bent over backwards and compromised more of himself then he possibly could, in hopes that one day, his mother would love him.

It wasn’t that Jungkook regretted his decisions, he had made plenty of money that he kept to himself, hence buying his first car, he could get his sister new clothes and pay for her meals. But still...he just wished he hadn’t compromised so much of himself, for something he would never have been given, no matter how perfect he tried to be.

When he first came to Seoul, Jungkook didn’t know who he was, or what he wanted to do. He had spent so much of his life, living day in and day out, hoping he could force himself into the role of perfect son that would somehow fix his dysfunctional life, to the point that when he had left it all. It left him completely devoid inside. And Jungkook supposed he did eventually find himself, somehow.

….

Purified sugar and there had to be some kind of strain of acidic flavor in the energy drink Jungkook had just finished chugging, it was his third one tonight and he had just finished his shift. His coworker coming in looking buzzed on something that was definitely not alcohol.

“Psst- hey Jungkook,” He frowned as he turned to the male, raising a brow as he silently inspected the guys pupils that were widened like saucers, “You want some of this shit before you go? Hits different.”

Jungkook’s nose wrinkled a little as he watched the guy pull the plastic bag from his coat, pure white powder inside as he offered a weak smile, “No thanks man, have a...good shift.” He offered, not in the least bit interested in that.

Jungkook had watched his dad drain his whole life away with drugs, he was not about to do the same thing. Pushing his hands into his sweatshirt as he pushed the backdoor to the convenient store open. Life was shitty, but at least he was by himself, alone, and able to do what he wanted. The motel was a pretty far walk and these parts of Seoul weren’t the hottest but hey, it was a pretty lively area. Groaning Jungkook pulled up his hood, keeping his head low as he began to weave through alleyways as a shortcut to the motel, he was making, barely enough money to pay for it with the discount of ramen but admittedly...his stomach ached and growled in need of substance that he was beginning to get tired of living on. Was the rest of his life going to be this bleak?

Jungkook had debated on enrolling for college but it seemed like a bad idea and a lot of debt he couldn’t afford to get into when he was barely putting a roof over his head. The idea of being an escort didn’t sound horrible but…

His lips twitched. No, he wasn’t going back to that. It was still too fresh in his head and he couldn’t handle anymore predatory older women preying on him. Ah great, his clothes were practically soaked to the bone. He’d need to find a day job at least to start saving money for actual food- take out at least and new clothes.

Jungkook hadn’t even realized where he was walking until he smashed into someone, he didn’t mind it much but to be fair he was on the giving end, the guy taking a tumble before he growled, “Hey fuckin’ watch where you’re going kid.” Jungkook kept his head low, knowing damn well it was too late and he was too hungry for this shit.

He just wanted to get out of the cold rain before he got sick, “Look! Little fucker thinks he’s better than us!” The friend called out, walking up as he got in Jungkook’s face as he followed beside him, “Hey shithead, you ran into my friend! I think that warrants an apology!”

Jungkook paused, lifting his chin a little as he closed his eyes in exasperation, these guys were really fucking annoying, they both began cackling at his reaction as he turned to face them both, “Fuck off.” Jungkook could hardly contain the words tumbling from his lips, this wasn’t a good start given it was a 2v1 here.

“Ooh, little man thinks he’s a badass.” The friend mockingly awed out before Jungkook was suddenly shoved, “Because you’re so rude to your elders, I think you should give us money as compensation for not beating your ass.”

Compensation? In what world?

Jungkook scoffed, a smirk coiling on his lips as he cocked his head into an annoying cocky expression, “The only compensation you’ll get is having the luxury of kissing my ass.” Knowing this totally wasn’t in his favor he suddenly shoved the first guy which made him slam into his friend before he booked it down the alleyway.

Heavy footsteps pounded on the pavement following after him, making his way out of the alleyway he made a sharp right but didn’t make it two feet before he slammed into multiple bodies, “Out of the way assholes! He’s dead meat!” Jungkook scurried behind the two men who didn’t budge an inch.

They were around his height and yet...they both definitely went to the gym, “Ew, they look like hetros.” The one on the right said as he wrinkled his nose, he held an umbrella that shielded his friend and Jungkook as well who leered, looking ready to run again if needed, “What are you doing over there idiot?” He twisted around and Jungkook was somewhat taken aback at how stunning this man was...was he a model?

More importantly his brows furrowed in confusion, he knew neither of these guys, why did they act like they knew him? The man spoke once more as he looked at Jungkook as if he knew him well, “Got into trouble, again?”

The man on the left spoke up as he tutted, “Sorry for our friend, he’s young and doesn’t know any better. Ah...It would be best if you just go…” His voice was methodical and smooth. He was a little taller than Jungkook and the other man, a pleasant yet tense smile on his face.

The two guys looked at one another before glaring at Jungkook once more, who only let a snide smile appear on his face as the two grumbled their apologies, even giving a short bow before slinking back into the depths of the alleyway.

Both the men turned around, the one on the right who looked like a model snorted, “You know this kid?”

“Nope.” The other one said as he shrugged.

Jungkook could only look between the two men, suddenly stricken with gratitude at the realization that, despite not even knowing who Jungkook was, they stuck their necks out for him to get these guys away. He looked a little doe eyed before he offered a boyish smile as he bowed, “Wow you guys really saved my ass! Hey uh-” Jungkook couldn’t put his finger on why, but he wanted to get to know these two better, “I can make it up to you! I could buy drinks!”

“No!” The model immediately rejected, his hand on his mouth as his nose wrinkled, “I mean your welcome but hard pass, i’ve already drunk twice my weight in liquor for the night.” He winced a little as if trying not to gag.

Jungkook frowned as he rubbed his head...oh...okay…? He turned to the other man, suddenly feeling a bit odd at the way this guy was staring at him. It wasn’t creepy or as if he had ulterior motives, but it was as if...he was evaluating him. Jungkook felt a bit uneasy and at this notice the man offered a weak smile, “Say, if you’re struggling for money, get off work early and come back here tomorrow kid. You’d be a hot take here. Come on Seok let’s go.”

The other man shrugged before they walked away leaving Jungkook thoroughly confused and somewhat dazed as rain began to pour back over him again. Puzzled, he turned to face the building the two men had exited from.

Cherry Bomb. Huh, interesting.

...

The thought of those two men lingered in Jungkook’s mind the whole day as he debated on what to do and in the end, he figured, what the hell? Why not just go for it and see, he was a bit leery admittedly at the man's words about making money. Last time he did that, he became an underage escort and a drug runner.

His nose wrinkled as he carefully made his way through the alleyway, careful to not run into anyone this time. It was two in the morning and he figured, this would be early enough, right? Unless...No he’d give it a try!

Jungkook nodded in determination as he stood in front of the bright neon red sign with the words Cherry Bomb plastered on it, what even was this place anyways? He paused at the two bouncers out front, checking ID’s as he got his ready, showing it before they nodded and let him inside.

Jungkook had expected a lot of things, what he didn’t expect was the foggy atmosphere, cherry red neon lights, tables packed with people and screams of cheers. Making his way through the crowd his nose wrinkled a little before he got a good look at the large stage, thinner in the middle and circled out on the sides.

His lips immediately parted at the sight of...naked women...dancing...wrapped around poles. His ears were burning as he frantically looked away, feeling like he was intruding on a private event before his hormones got the best of him. His eyes looked back at the stage where the woman kept swaying her hips as she parted her legs. Her tits were perked and her thong left little to the imagination and…

Jungkook tensed at the sudden feeling of arousal shooting down below, his cock throbbing against his jeans as he awkwardly shifted. What the fuck was he supposed to do with this...was he even in the right place…?

But...if he wasn’t...wouldn’t they have been more specific…? Jungkook peered around, feeling a little hesitant as he scanned the crowd before...Oh! Oh there he was! Jungkook shuffled through the crowd as he found the man at the bar, laughing with the bartender before they met eyes, “Oh good! I was wondering if the environment would scare you off,” He laughed, “You look like a boy coming of age.”

“..I…” Jungkook paused, not used to this type of talk being so...free, feeling apprehensive he asked the only question he could think of, “What is this place?”

The guy snorted, looking amused as he spoke, “A strip club…? Hey how old are you?”

“Twenty…” Jungkook replied, a little reluctant as the man laughed, almost endeared as he squared his shoulders a little, he wasn’t a kid! He just...had never...Jungkook felt his ears burn as his eyes narrowed, sex wasn’t everything!

“Okay good! That means you’re legal!” He wiped a non existent sweat off his brow as he offered a dimpled smile, “I’m Kim Namjoon,” He nodded in greeting, “I work here as a Soloist.” Jungkook’s lips parted a little as he looked at Namjoon before at the stage, “Yeah, I’m a stripper.”

A male stripper? Jungkook had never heard of such a thing before as he furrowed his brows before he connected the dots, suddenly bursting out laughing as he sat in a seat, “You think I would be a stripper!?”

Namjoon lifted a hand as he spoke, “I mean, you showed up didn’t you?” Jungkook paused as Namjoon smiled cunningly, “Mhm, listen, I get it. Everyone’s a little reserved when they first get in the business but, we have it good here at Cherry Bomb.”

“...I’m not a stripper,” Jungkook’s nose wrinkled a little, looking at his knuckles before up to the bartender that was busy serving several other customers, “I’m not even experienced-”

“Pause,” Namjoon cut him off as he looked at him in wariness, “That’s what’s good about Cherry, we accept people with zero experience. They’re called trainee’s, which means they have an experienced stripper show them the ropes of how everything works.”

Jungkook didn’t speak for a moment, as he swiveled his chair around, looking out at the stage where girls were dancing as raunchy as possible but...his eyes landed on the money that was flying...that had to be fifty, “....And you want me as what…? A trainee?”

Namjoon smiled patiently, “Pretty much, I’m particular in who I train but, you have the face for the job. I feel like you'd generate a lot of profit. For yourself and Cherry.” This was where Jungkook frowned, wariness filling him once more. Profit for Cherry Bomb...He couldn’t shake the feeling that, this seemed too good to be true…”So what’s the catch?” Namjoon tilted his head as Jungkook spoke, “What’s the catch, where’s the draw back? This can’t just be me flashing everyone my dick and getting paid for it.”

“Right…” Namjoon smiled a little as he curved a brow, “You won’t, salary is cheap because technically our tips make up for it. But starting out as a trainee means nobody knows you and, nobody is going to throw money at you.” Jungkook tilted his head a little, “See we have a hierarchy here. First we have bottom feeders, trainee’s, they’re new, they’re awkward, nobody knows them and nobody wants to give them money when something better waits. Then there’s fillers, those girls up there who dance between the main shows, which are soloist’s who dance by themselves. They’re what everyone is waiting for.”

Jungkook frowned, “So unless you’re the main attraction there’s no point in dancing.” Then why bother with this place, weren’t most strip clubs self employed anyways? Why be a bottom feeder here when you had greater success somewhere else? It didn’t sound appealing to Jungkook.

“Because,” Namjoon chuckled as the stage went dark before the lights turned on, Jungkook immediately recognized it as the male he met last night, “Everyone likes a big ego and an even bigger wallet.” He hadn’t even started dancing and money was already being piled onto the stage.

Jungkook couldn’t help but watch in awe at the way he kept a crowd which, surprisingly held many females who all gushed and screamed for him, the power he held in his performance and all the money that floated down on him as he swung around the pole. Jungkook was...interested. And besides, what’s the worst that could happen with this place?

“Alright,” Jungkook leaned back in his seat as he looked at Namjoon, a cocky look in his eyes as he smirked, “I’m willing to talk.”

----

That was a turning point in Jungkook’s life. He stretched out a little, careful not to move too much as he didn’t want to wake you, you had shifted with a little yawn before your face pressed back against him. His lips ghosted into a smile as he looked down at you, his hand tethering gently against the back of your neck as you curled against his touch, you were just too cute.

For a moment everything was okay before he frowned once more, no matter what you said, it was his fault you were put in the position you were, if he had just...Jungkook silently groaned in frustration, he had lived his whole life like this.

It wasn’t anything he wasn’t used to.

But it frustrated him to no end, he could’ve done a lot of things in his life differently but he didn’t. And now you were having to deal with all of his baggage he had secretly hoped he could bury with time. But this situation was just a bitter reminder that no matter how fast Jungkook ran, the past would always catch up.

….

“Mmm fuck, that’s it you little slut.” Sweat beaded against the back of Jungkook’s neck, the tight space of the bathroom stall making his body heat radiate and his skin flush as a low moan escaped him. His hand fisted into the girl's hair, her lips eagerly wrapped around his cock as she bobbed her head against it.

Jungkook’s brows creased as he guided her movements, her cheeks hollowing before carefully taking him down her throat as he hissed, “Fuck, I bet you like choking on cock don’t you baby? Such a slutty brat.” He growled, forcing her head still before sharply snapping his hips into her mouth, his orgasm was so fucking close.

She was gagging and clawing against his thighs as gurgled whines escaped her, her little throat tightening around his cock making him let out a long moan as he rutted one last into her mouth, his cum warm and thick as it slid down her throat.

Jungkook needed a moment to recover before pulling himself from her mouth, heaving in breaths as he rasped, “Jesus….thanks.”

The girl- Yuna stood up as she wiped her lips, a bright smile adorning them as she laughed, “My pleasure, you should probably go talk to Namjoon though, as nice as your dick is it’s not why I came to get you.”

Tucking himself away Jungkook glanced up at her as he gave a half smirk, though it seemed more like a lopsided smile, “I didn’t hear you complaining. I’ll go talk to him. Did he say what he wanted?” Namjoon, his mentor, was always on the more relaxed end of Soloist’s, not quite having the energy to debate with Jungkook.

“Mmm dunno,” Yuna shrugged as she opened the stall, fixing her hair as best she could before rubbing her eyes, taking a quick look into the mirror to make sure she was somewhat decent, “You said you weren’t into degradation last time we fucked.” She raised a brow in curiosity as she glanced at him in the mirror.

Jungkook paused, running a hand through his hair as he looked away briefly. He did say that beforehand, trying to degrade a girl just felt….wrong...It almost always made him feel like an asshole and for the longest time he never saw the appeal. Jungkook shrugged as he replied, “Well, one of the girls I slept with was really...like really into it, and she explained that everything was consented and that if she had a problem with anything I called her she’d tell me. I wasn’t really into it at first but if it’s what she wanted,” He shrugged once more as Yuna turned around, tilting her head, “But after seeing how much it turned her on, and how weak she got anytime I called her a slut...It was kinda hot.”

Jungkook’s brows pressed together in thought, it was weird but, if the girl was okay with it then, that made it okay, right? He still felt somewhat at war with himself, maybe he should’ve asked Yuna? Even if she was the one that was practically begging him to call her a whore to begin with, but still.

Yuna gave him a smile as she opened the door waving him out as he followed her, “You’re telling me all I needed to do was give you an educational lesson in BDSM? You’re so innocent Jungkook.” He glared at her as she laughed holding up her hands, “I’m just saying, you’re a natural in bed but you just always seem to...hold back…”

Walking out of the hallway the main floor of Cherry Bomb was packed as always in the morning, girls going over their routines, people conversing with one another, Jungkook had come to love it here, it wasn’t the nicest place, but it wasn’t like he grew up living a nice life, “Well,” He huffed as his memories of his earlier experience when it came to sex flashing through his mind, “It’s not like I was with someone my age willing to guide me through it.”

He immediately regretted his words, mentally chiding himself at saying too much as Yuna furrowed her brows, glancing up at him as she frowned. He was thankful she didn’t seem to say anything on the matter though, maybe knowing it wasn’t a good idea.

“Well regardless, I’m proud of you.” Yuna patted his back as he rolled his eyes, leave it to her to keep things surface level before flashing him a grin and parting ways. Jungkook’s eyes scanned over the room, clacking his tongue as he sighed, Namjoon was probably in the soloist room if he wasn’t out here.

Making his way back down the hallway he pushed the door of the room open, glancing up at the small stage where Seokjin was working with Rose, “Done with your quick fuck already Jungkookie?”

Jungkook’s shoulders tensed and his gaze deathened as they landed on the insufferable figure that stood ahead, freshly dyed platinum silver hair that covered thick bushy brows, the smirk crept on none other then Kim Taehyung’s face, what a fucking tool, “At least I can get my dick sucked without having to beg people to do it.”

Taehyung snorted as he curved a brow, running his fingers through his hair as he replied, “Sorry what was that? Couldn’t hear you over being Cherry Bomb’s Playboy, girls would be fighting to the death to suck what I got.”

Jungkook gritted his teeth as he rolled his eyes, refraining from rearranging that pretty face of Taehyung’s, he didn’t give a shit if he had only been working there for two weeks when Taehyung won SSU he still thought it wasn’t deserved. Taehyung was conceited garbage beneath Jungkook’s feet. He wasn’t going to groval over him just because he was a soloist now.

“Jungkook,” Namjoon sighed, curving a brow as he glanced between the two rivals before rolling his eyes, “Come on, over here.” He waved over his trainee who gritted his teeth before reluctantly walking over.

Jungkook raised his brows in question, not understanding why his mentor wanted him, most days he wasn’t even really training with Namjoon anymore, it had been almost a year of him working here and Jungkook personally thought becoming a filler would be easier than this. Training for over a year was just so ridiculous though, he was used to stripping, he could spend the whole night with girls at a table. And yet these people still treated him like he was a trainee, just because of the title.

“Look I need you to be on your best behavior tonight okay?” Jungkook pulled up a chair as he sat across from Namjoon at the small table as he curved a brow, “Seasonella’s reps are coming tonight to choose and you’re definitely going to get onto the list if you put on a good show. But, I wouldn’t blame you if you want to take tonight off.”

Jungkook was like a toddler beaming, he didn’t know all the ends and outs of Seasonella, but he knew it was guaranteed to be promoted from trainee to filler, hell, maybe even...He dismissed the idea, the last thing he needed was to get ahead of himself, “Why would I do that?” Jungkook scoffed, a cocky smirk on his face as he continued, “You know how I feel about still being a trainee. If I have even the slightest chance of climbing up from this shitfest I’ll take it.”

Namjoon grimaced a little, of course his trainee was stubborn hard headed ass, sighing he ran a hand through his hair before replying, “We don’t just strip there Jungkook. We’re treated as prostitutes as well, I don’t know what the deal is but they make it like we have a choice when we don’t. It’s...not really pleasant.”

Jungkook didn’t think much about his words, only snorting as he lifted his chin in that cocky manner he always had, “So I’ll get paid to not only strip but to fuck too? Where’s the loss in that?” This sounded like a pretty good gig in his opinion, what were the drawbacks supposed to be?

Namjoon shook his head as he sighed, figuring this would probably be the kid's reaction despite coming from a rough background himself, he had hoped, Jungkook would exercise a little more caution than he was. But then again Namjoon also understood that he was young and immature.

“Nevermind. Regardless, if you want to go you need to be on your best behavior and…” Namjoon looked away somewhat wryly, “Don’t....don’t piss anyone off tonight, last thing I need is for you to try to knock the client's son’s teeth out.” Jungkook only puffed his chest proudly as he leaned his weight back and he shoved his hands into his pocket.

“Deal.”

…

Jungkook felt the urge to laugh at how stupid he had been, how arrogant and immature his actions were to not heed Namjoon’s warning. It’s why he couldn’t be upset with you. He was even worse than you his first year at Seasonella. True he didn’t go as far as shut it down, but then again, Eva didn’t waste time in digging up his whole past and dangling it over his head to keep him coming.

But if he heeded the warning then- he cut himself off, what was the point in always thinking this way? Admittedly, it was getting tiring to beat himself up constantly, to wish for things to be different when they weren’t.

Jungkook, just wanted to put everything behind him, and start fresh. He had friends who he considered his family and….well he had you. His eyes flickered to your figure that wiggled a little to get comfortable before stilling once more. Sighing he shook his head, he almost lost you last night. Or you almost lost him.

He couldn’t live the rest of his life like this, he couldn’t.

….

“So...are you um…”

Jungkook leaned back against the headboard, running a hand through his sweat ridden hair, his muscles admittedly had been aching but it had been a great weekend honestly, what even was Namjoon talking about? He turned to face the girl he had been accompanying the whole week, Eva Friar.

Jungkook felt a flow of ego filter him at the reminder, that’s right. For only being a trainee, he bagged the client’s daughter, she was just a year older than him and hey, she had money. And lots of it. By this point Jungkook would be able to get that apartment near Gangnam like he had been hoping.

“I’m taking it you’re single?” Eva squeaked out, a shy smile on her face as she covered her nose with the blanket in an attempt to try and look cute. Jungkook curved a brow, single…? It hadn’t even crossed his mind honestly.

Jungkook was neutral if not a little confused before he spoke, “...Yeah…? I mean, I doubt anyone would wanna date a guy like me.” He laughed a little despite it sounding tense- that came off more self-deprecating then he had wanted...But it was true and honestly...Jungkook couldn’t do love.

Not right now at least, it was too soon and memories of home were too fresh. The only love he had ever been exposed to was well...It wasn’t love and...how was he supposed to express something he had never been given?

“Oh?” Eva perked up, giggling a little as she fumbled to sit up, pulling the sheet against her chest despite Jungkook having already fucked her three times thus far today, “W-well that’s hard to believe! I mean, look at you!”

Jungkook frowned a little, looking down at himself, true he had gotten a membership at the gym and he had obviously worked on his stroke game but...He was just...himself, “And…?” He asked as he furrowed his brows.

“You’re the whole package Jungkook!” Eva exclaimed as she smiled brightly, “I- I mean...any girl would be lucky enough to date you…” She trailed off coyly as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“Really?” Jungkook cocked a brow, not sure if he actually believed her, Jungkook wouldn’t….exactly consider himself a catch, given...well literally everything outside his appearance.

“Well I mean…” She shuffled a little closer to him as she fluttered her eyelashes, “How about you take me to dinner tonight and I’ll show you…”

Jungkook immediately leered back. Dinner!? Where did him being a stripper here for the weekend, say he was taking her to dinner, he knew it was an invitation but....”No thanks,” He offered a semi awkward smile, “I...I’m not really into relationships…”

“O-oh…”

Great now he felt like an ass. Jungkook tried to recover as he forced a laugh that admittedly sounded light, “Yeah! It's just...you know, being a stripper and all. It doesn’t mesh well with relationships. You understand yeah?”

Eva’s lips trembled a little and Jungkook had a difficult time looking at her, god this girl was so pitiful, “No totally! Ha..ha. I’m gonna use the bathroom!” She suddenly fumbled and before Jungkook could say a word, she was gone. Collapsing back against the bedboard he groaned, god dammit.

Jungkook wasn’t sure when he actually fell asleep, it was difficult telling, but what he did enjoy was waking up to you every single day now, you were already awake and on your laptop most likely doing something miscellaneous or maybe working on a art history project you had been putting off for the majority of the summer time.

His lips briefly twisted in a small smile as he set his chin on his arms admiring your side profile as you had yet to realize he had woken up. Your brows furrowed a little and your lips pressed together before jutting out once more as you paused typing.

Then your eyes met his, a sleepy smile on his face as he watched you huff a little embarrassed for no reason at all but simply just because, “Morning babygirl.” He spoke up, his voice a little raspy and dehydrated from the long night.

Jungkook’s smile turned more affectionate as he watched a shy smile appear on your lips as your eyes trailed back to the laptop screen, “Morning.” You mumbled out as you began to type again, your expression looked a little clouded compared to most days and briefly Jungkook wondered why before it hit him what had happened, “I tried waking you up to help me with breakfast but you were out of it. So I figured I'd just wait for you to wake up.”

Jungkook said nothing at first, rather he studied your focused expression with a little frown as an odd feeling set in his stomach at how detached you appeared, not wanting you to catch on though he spoke, “You don’t have to wait for me to make breakfast,” He smiled lovingly, his eyes still sleepy as he looked up at you, who broke away from that cloudy look unable to help but share the same smile as your nose crinkled a little, “I burnt toast last time you tried to get me to help.” He commented rolling onto his back onto his side, looking up at you, at first anticipating you would bring up what had happened but….

“Because you said putting it on a higher heat would make it cook faster.” You clacked your tongue making him chuckle, it was his fault the toast came out like a brick but truthfully he hadn’t used his toaster in almost a year until you started staying over.

He closed his eyes briefly, you were an amazing cook, no matter how much you tried to coyly dismiss him, he’d shower you in compliment after compliment when it came to what you made in the kitchen. Jungkook would admit he was suspicious about all the food you had gotten at the grocery store but he stood corrected, you were making use of it all.

Jungkook couldn’t even adequately describe how much he loved you and everything you did for him, it was quiet for a moment as he stared up at you with his lips twisted into a tiny smile, his lack of reply making you turn to look at him as your nose crinkled again, “Hey babygirl….” Jungkook hummed out making you raise your brows, he sat up tenderly as he ran a hand through his hair, feeling a little apprehensive as he mumbled, “...Baby are you okay…?”

“Don’t….” Jungkook immediately frowned at your sharp words as you curled away from him a little, your expression a shards of distraught could be seen in your expression which only made him want to hold you closer, “Jungkook I…” you closed your eyes, lips quivering a little as you mumbled, “Can we not...talk about it?”

Jungkook frowned as he stared at your curled up figure earnestly, not talk about it…? Jungkook didn’t want to make any assumptions but it was difficult to not when you were acting like this, “Baby…” Jungkook sighed before tenderly reaching out, pulling you closer as he rested his chin in your shoulder, “We can’t ignore what’s going on.”

Your lips drew together tightly and he could see the way your eyes watered as you inhaled sharply, trying your best to keep it together as you mumbled, “We can, what else can we do besides that?” You looked up at him, a tear having escaped as it began to trickle down your cheek, “Just for a few hours, please?” You mumbled.

Jungkook sighed, weak for you and he could never do something with the intention of knowing you’d cry, cradling your cheek he thumbed the tear away, “Just a few hours baby.” He leaned up, pressing a kiss on your cheek as you crumbled back against him, basking in the warmth he had to offer as he tenderly trailed a few kisses down your neck. Time passed slowly and tenderly as silence took over for a long while, Jungkook still felt mildly concerned but he wouldn’t push you, especially like this.

But pretending like last night didn’t happen wasn’t a good idea either, Jungkook felt helpless as he pressed a kiss onto your head, feeling lost and unsure of what to do. This wasn’t healthy for him or you at this point and your alarming detachment was only making him more and more worried for your safety, pretending things weren’t going on was only going to give you a false sense of security that didn’t exist.

“...Can we go cook now...,” You whined with a mumble as you closed your laptop before getting out of bed, “Come let go, let’s go, let’s go!” You bounce a little, a silly pout on your lips and a surprising amount of energy for someone who hated waking up early, let alone with everything going on, the large t-shirt covering close to your knees before you hurried from the room.

Jungkook shook his head, letting you have your temporary moment of relief, a smile on his face before groaning as he got out of bed, rubbing his head, “You’d be more successful without me burning anything!” He called out in one last ditch effort to go back to bed.

“I want your help!” You sang back not taking no for an answer as he shook his head, getting up as he yawned once more, rubbing his eyes before he grabbed a sweatshirt that was hanging off the side of the laundry hamper. You both were supposed to go to the laundromat this morning to get some clothes done.

‘I can’t believe you don’t have a washer and dryer, this is so gross!”

Your words echoed in his head and he wanted to laugh all over again, truth be told he only lived a block away from a laundromat and he didn’t mind taking early morning walks to get laundry done, even if it was an inconvenience.

Jungkook couldn’t say for sure if those plans were still on given what had...happened last night, despite only happening it still felt like a hazy dream that only filled him with dread any

Pulling the sweatshirt over his head he couldn’t stop another yawn escaping him as he padded out from the hallway to where the kitchen and living room were, his eyes landing on you softly as you had already gotten to work. Wordlessly he walked up to you before wrapping his arms around your waist, pressing his face against your shoulder, “Koo! I can’t mix this properly when you’re trying to use me like a couch!” You whined out trying to tug away.

Jungkook pressed a kiss against your shoulder as you wiggled once more, only he swayed with you as he whispered in your ear, “Can’t I just have you for breakfast?”

“No!” You spoke sharply, obviously flustered at his words making him chuckle, forever endeared at how easy it was to make you all flustered over something you both had done time after time. Jungkook would never get tired of you, he was sure of it.

Jungkook and you had cooked together this morning and with your gentle, patient direction Jungkook was surprised he had managed to actually be of some use and help to you. Breakfast was….rewarding, in a way.

He could understand why you enjoyed it so much, you had told him recently that it was a pastime hobby to make tasty things. Jungkook had never gotten to experience waking up early as a child and helping the family making an early breakfast or even sitting at a table together bantering while enjoying what had been made together. Jungkook knew you often felt like you couldn’t offer him anything exciting or new, given you were a big introvert and he was the opposite, but little did you know it was the tiny things such as this that was new and he’d forever cherish.

Jungkook rested his cheek against his hand, a soft smile tugging on his lips as he listened to you ramble on about how when you first started cooking you had ended up misreading the recipe and using a half cup of baking soda instead of a teaspoon. You didn’t even realize just how much you gave to him in these little moments, he would always cherish it.

After breakfast Jungkook had loaded up his laundry with you before heading out onto the streets, Jungkook had rationalized that it was still daylight out and it was a busy morning with a large crowd, surely...things would be okay.

Jungkook could tell you were leery of walking on foot but he had managed to convince you, after all, you wanted to have the morning to at least enjoy yourself and Jungkook would provide that to the best of his ability. Yet still, any time it was silent between you both a large cloud hung over the both of you, an unspoken tension that he couldn’t stand.

And so Jungkook did what he always did when he didn’t like the atmosphere, he made conversation, something easy to talk about and he knew you enjoyed decorating, so he volunteered to ask what you wanted to do to the apartment first.

Jungkook only had a tiny smile on his face as you immediately launched in the dozens of small things you wanted to get done first, a wash of relief taking over him at you now being a mildly distracted and the walk only being ten minutes, “That’s another thing i’d like by the way,” Jungkook hummed as he turned to face you, who had just been rambling on about this and that, “A washer and dryer in the apartment!” You exclaimed with a pout now enthusiastic about getting the apartment in better shape, “I don’t wanna have to walk a block every week just so our clothes can be clean! How do you live like this Jungkook?”

Jungkook chuckled a little as he replied back, “Like anyone else! Not everyone can afford that babygirl. Have you stopped to think for a moment that maybe, maybe I’m just too poor to afford it.” He cackled at the sour expression on your face.

“You just dropped over two thousand on a new gaming setup three days ago, Jungkook.” You groaned as you grabbed your head making him smile once more.

“Not a setup, it’s all the parts for a new PC baby, I gotta prep my drip for Cyberpunk 2077 when it comes out. Which takes precedence over a washer and dryer,” He shrugged, just enjoying the way you’d flail and react, “However,” Jungkook exclaimed dramatically before he grinned, “I’ll make an exception, just for you.” He cooed as he wrapped an arm around you making you squirm, “But for real, I enjoy the experience babygirl, it’s not about having to walk once a week. It’s the fact that I get to walk once a week, and just enjoy myself.”

Your nose wrinkled a little making him snort, he knew by your expression you didn’t understand at all but you also clearly didn’t want to invalidate him either. That’s what he really liked about you, he supposed, no matter how much you disliked something, you always tried your best to understand.

For the sake of those you loved. You were delicate like that, or so Jungkook liked to think.

…

“I think, you totally like her,” Jungkook whipped his head around faster than he could actually comprehend Taehyung’s words, just what in the hell did he hear his best friend say? “Just look at you dude, you won’t stop smiling every time you see her.”

Jungkook leered away a little at his words, true it had been nearly a month of training you and there had never been a dull day in between but still… “I smile at everyone…” Jungkook frowned a little as he pointed it out, it was true, he did smile a lot, he liked to smile, it meant he was having a good time.

“Yeah but,” Taehyung curved a brow, looking way too amused to be possible, “You never look like that.” He shrugged a little as Jungkook’s face soured a little, “Come on, don’t look at me like that, it’s the truth, why not just take her on a date. You’d do it to any other girl at this point.”

Jungkook had to think about it for a moment, why hadn’t he taken you out on a date…? He frowned a little before sighing, “Because she isn’t a girl i’d just take on a date and fuck and never see again,” He answered steadily, that was the biggest reason truthfully, he didn’t know how to feel and the last thing he wanted was to let his hormones get the best of him and dive head first into a girl he really knew nothing about and…His jaw clenched a little, look what happened the last time he tried that.

“Isn’t that a good thing…?” Taehyung frowned a little as asked, obviously confused as to why this was a bad thing.

“Because!” Jungkook flailed his hand a little, his back turned to the stage where some assortment of fillers were providing cheap entertainment, “She just…! I don’t…” He inhaled sharply, frustrated at himself, “Look I can’t deal with feelings and shit, not again, not after Soo Jin.” He rolled his eyes a little, “Taking her on a date is like a gateway for all that crap and I can’t deal with it right now.”

Taehyung whistled a little, “That’s a little cold, even for you.” Jungkook puffed a breath as he continued, “And besides, what’s the difference between a hangout and a date anyways? You both go out together all the time as it is…”

“Could you shut the fuck up please and just make my drink.” Jungkook complained, not wanting to be confronted with all of this. He didn’t want to think about because if he did he knew he was gonna freak himself out and end up doing something dumb and hurting you. And more than anything, he didn’t want to hurt you.

So yes, he was going to drag out...whatever this was with you...as long as possible to ensure that he knew who you were, and what your intentions were with him. Not to assume he thought you had any type of intentions, you couldn’t hurt a fly honestly, unless provoked.

But still, if Jungkook had learned any lessons, it was to not jump into love so fast as he had before. Not that he was in love with you...or anything like that. It was just platonic! He enjoyed platonic relationships- friendships! And you were the kindest, sweetest…his eyes trailed to your figure that was seated next to Rosé both of you talking to a table of frat boys who were eating you both up like candy...prettiest...friend he ever had!

“Whatever, all I’m saying is if you break her heart- legally I’m obligated to beat the shit out of you.” Taehyung offered a boxy smile as Jungkook rolled his eyes as he slumped in his seat. He wasn’t going to do anything, Jungkook and you were purely, friends, good friends. That’s all.

….

“She what?”

“Yeah me and Rosé were pretty surprised she jumped to that conclusion.” Jungkook snorted at your words as you swung your feet back and forth, sitting on the seats they had set out in the laundromat while you both waited for your clothing to finish drying.

“Taehyung is not gonna like hearing that, have you told him yet?” Jungkook snorted at the way your expression contorted before you flailed.

“Of course not! Taehyung would freak and he’d probably do something stupid that would only confirm it in Yeri’s mind! I think, we should just leave them be, honestly, if it goes on long enough, Yeri will probably confront him.” You answered honestly, as you hugged the basket against your lap.

“That’s one way it could go,” Jungkok hummed as he fiddled with your shirt making you whine a little, tugging away with him in indication for him to stop only for him to ignore it, “The other could be Yeri leaves and i’ll have my best bachelor bud ba- ow!”

You swatted his arm angrily making him chuckle a little as he pulled away, “What?”

“Don’t talk like that! What do you have against Yeri!?” You cried out pointedly as Jungkook raised his brow in semi surprise.

“Woah wait, I don’t have anything against her-”

“Sure you do! Yeri told me how much of a jerk you were to her when she first started dating Taehyung! And making jokes like that isn’t funny!” Your brows pinched together and Jungkook sighed in exasperation when he realized you were being partially serious, “I just want them to be happy!”

“I don’t have anything against her,” Jungkook replied, this time more stern in his words, “And yes, I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like I wasn’t an asshole to her, I was. But only because I was still bitter about what had happened in the past and I projected that, unfairly onto their relationship. I wasn’t mature in the slightest either about it. I get it, but at the time I was just scared and I didn’t want my friend taken away from me.” He shrugged, “But it’s all in the past now, that’s nearly what? Two years ago now? I’m happy for them, really. I was just being careless when I made the remark.”

You set the basket down to cross your arms as you huffed, obviously still upset but at least Jungkook was honest, or so he thought. Better to be honest then lie and screw everything up.

“What? Are you gonna be mad at me now the rest of the day?” Jungkook shoved your shoulder gently with his in a playful motion he’d often use to try and lighten the mood a little.

He internally sighed at seeing you not budge, your arms crossed as you pressed your lips together, “I won’t,” You mumbled, “I just want you to not be so…” You waved your hand a little as your lips curled with a sigh, “When it comes to Taehyung and Yeri, is it really a crime Taehyung wants to marry her?”

Jungkook paused for a moment, what? He didn’t….didn’t he just explain? He sighed, “What? Do you think that’s a reflection of my view of marriage?” When you didn’t answer him Jungkook sighed in exasperation, “Alright fine, obviously I have to prove my devotion, again.”

“Jungkook what- what are you doing!”

Jungkook couldn’t hold in his laugh at the way you scurried in your seat at the sight of him sliding off his chair to kneel on the ground, grabbing your knees making you jolt, “Let’s go elope baby. Right now- or as soon as the laundry is done-”

“Get up! People are staring!” You hissed out despite giggles escaping you as you tried to push Jungkook away who grabbed your hands, pressing kisses on them as he pulled you down a little with a whisper.

“I will when you say yes. This is what this is about, right? You think I got something against marriage? Well let me prove you wrong baby.” Jungkook growled playfully in your ear as you pulled away.

A loud beep cut him off, making both him and you jump as the washer that held both of your clothes stopped, “I’m not finished with you yet baby.” Jungkook had that dorky half smile on his face as he stood up to get the clothes out of the washer and into the dryer.

Marriage huh...For a brief moment, Jungkook wanted to snort at the notion, him? Marriage? He never really gave it any genuine thought mainly because he never thought he’d be worthy of marrying, well….anyone.

And for the longest time he didn’t even believe in marriage, the idea of being together with someone, forever really made him squirm when he was younger, possibly because his only example of marriage was his parents and he wasn’t even sure if they were married in the first place.

A lot of examples throughout Jungkook’s life were bad examples. It was often difficult for him to try and accomplish a new idea without anything to lead by. But…his eyes trailed back to your figure who was still reeling about what had just happened. Maybe…

Just maybe…

Pushing the button on the dryer Jungkook plopped back in his seat going to speak to you but he paused when he noticed how stiff you were, your eyes were on the door to the laundromat where people were going in and out of view on the busy street, “What baby?” Jungkook furrowed his brows a little, confused as to why you looked so cautious all of a sudden.

You looked at him briefly as if consulting something in your mind on what to say before you leaned back down in your seat, your eyes on your fingers as you fiddled with them the way you always did when you got nervous, “...Maybe...we should go to the police Jungkook...you know...about what’s going on, what happened…”

Jungkook paused in his tracks. Police? He didn’t mean to immediately frown but…”Baby listen…” He sighed as he lowered his voice, not wanting to dismiss you as easily as he wanted too because he knew you genuinely cared and you were in a dangerous position being together with him, naturally you’d have a say so in what you both chose to do but...

Jungkook grabbed your hands tenderly as he spoke softly, “I...If it could be avoided I really don’t want the police involved- if they knew about my involvement in…” He didn’t even want to finish his sentence, would the police even care about how long it had been? Or the fact that he had been blackmailed into doing it for his sister's safety?

Jungkook couldn’t take the risk, he couldn’t. There was too much unknown and risk for him to feel confident they would help rather than simply throw him in prison. You mirrored his expression as you sighed, your shoulders deflating a little as your bottom lip quivered the way it did when you were trying to not let yourself get upset.

“I don’t think they’d do that Jungkook…!” You whispered and Jungkook couldn’t stand to look at the way your eyes were pleading, “I just- I don’t want anything to happen to you or- or to me! And- and maybe they could at least push these people back, right? I mean...We can’t keep taking risks like this.”

Jungkook lowered his gaze, despite his own fear he could never say no to you, not when you were pleading with him like this, especially when it was this dangerous. He ran a hand through his hair as he closed his eyes, “...I’ll think about it.” He relented, “Just let me think it over tonight okay?”

It was the best he could do, Jungkook was only human. He wished he could be so much more, for his friends, for you, but he couldn’t. Your expression was still dim but you nodded in respect of his decision before leaning against him, your head resting against his shoulder. Jungkook let his own head rest atop of yours before pressing a kiss against your head while whispering, “Everything is gonna be okay baby.”

Cherry Bomb was packed as ever, Jungkook had been helping out the majority of the night and truthfully, he enjoyed the rush of keeping up with lights, making sure girls were on schedule, he liked the busy atmosphere and more than anything he loved watching you dance and swing around a pole.

You were practically blowing competition out of the park left and right and your votes were only going up on Cherry’s twitter account. Not that Jungkook ever had a doubt in his mind about you taking first place, but seeing it on a screen really hit home that you were his baby and dammit could you do anything if you wanted too.

“I think she’s gonna win!” Rosé squealed in her seat as she clapped her hands, “It’ll be so nice having another female soloist to help with the crowds!” Jungkook leaned back in his seat, saying nothing but his smile spoke for itself.

“Maybe we’ll finally stop having to listen to Sejin bitch about our numbers dropping.” Seokjin yawned as he stretched out, “She’s pulled a big crowd on her own, who knows.”

Jungkook clapped his hands together, “What did I say in the beginning?” He hummed as he furrowed his brows, that dorky boyish smile on his face making the others groan, “What was that? That I ah- said she’d make us money? That she’d be amazing? Hmmm? That’s the sound of me being right.” Jungkook chuckled as he listened to the crowd whistling as you exited the stage.

Jungkook would never stop being proud of your accomplishments. Getting out of his chair he looked down at everyone prominently with a smirk as he crossed his arms before exiting to go find you. He was already semi hard from your performance and he wasn’t about to wait to get home. The bathroom stall was just gonna have to work for tonight.

The staffing hallway was just as bustling as ever but things had calmed down admittedly, they had put you towards the ladder end of the contest so they could still keep a crowd for the majority of the night and now that you were finished things would soon be lowkey. Jungkook pushed the door open to Rosé’s dressing room as she had been kind enough to let you use it for the competition.

Jungkook would’ve offered us own but...His nose twitched in an attempt to wrinkle, it was still messy in his room and they were still working on getting it cleaned up. You were sitting in your seat, taking off the earrings you had been wearing before a smile tugged on your lips at the sight of your boyfriend, “What?” You smiled, somewhat shyly as you adjusted your robe.

Jungkook strutted over only to lean down, his arms around you as he pressed a kiss against your shoulder, “I’m gonna let you choose where I’m gonna fuck you baby.”

“Jungkook!” You jolted with a squeak at his crude words, that boyish smile on his face as he looked back at you in the mirror, “Jungkook!” You reiterated as you twisted around to look at him, your face warm as he raised his brows semi amused.

Jungkook let his lips press against your neck as he chuckled against your warm skin, “I said what I said, I’m gonna go take a quick smoke and when I come back you better have an answer, yeah?”

He smiled down at the way your eyes squinted a little at the mention of smoke, reaching up you pulled Jungkook back down, pressing your lips against his too quick for him to truly enjoy the taste of the vanilla chapstick you wore with the maroon lipstick that was probably transferred to his own lips, “You’re gonna get lung cancer if you keep smoking.”

Jungkook puffed a breath, his lips threatening to curl at the way you were looking up at him softly, “I’m here for a good time, not a long time babygirl. Think carefully!” You shook your head as you watched him exit the room.

You were happy to be performing again and having some resemblance of normalcy back, even if it was just on stage. Not to mention all the money you were making throughout the contest. Checking your phone your lips curled a little, you were currently in third place in ranking at the moment. No it wasn’t the best, but you’d take it.

Glancing at the clock you hummed, noticing it had been about two minutes, your mind lingering on Jungkook’s words as you shook your head, a shy smile tugging on your lips. Well...he did enjoy the car after all...Fiddling with your phone you looked down at your lock screen once more.

Time slowly ticked and eventually after five minutes you frowned, Jungkook normally didn’t take this long to smoke unless he got held up. You sighed, thinking back to your confrontation with Seulgi and how hurt she had seemed, as if it was your fault Jungkook fell in love with you...Well...you guessed in some ways it was. But still...she wouldn’t go out of her way to harass him tonight, would she? She had been talking shit earlier in the dressing room, hence you had decided to move into Rosé’s dressing room as she didn’t mind and you couldn’t be held responsible for whatever you did to her.

You still didn’t fully understand her mindset, her words lingering in your head. Was she really just that big of a sore loser? The moment you stood up for yourself was the moment you threatened her very being? You just wanted to understand.

Standing up you finished changing before deciding to go look for Jungkook, his absence after five minutes beginning to make you a little anxious to see him once more. Walking through the hallways you looked around, everyone was busy and with somewhere to be and yet you still couldn’t find him. Not in the dressing rooms, the bathrooms...Well, he did say he was going for a smoke.

You rubbed your head, who would be out in the back exit beside him? He was the only person you ever used the back entrance anyway. The hall was dark and the red beam of LED cast down making the walls feel more narrow as you frowned cautiously pushing the door open to reveal the dark night sky and dingy alleyway that always made you uncomfortable.

That’s all you saw though. Jungkook nowhere to be found.

Panic flooded your veins at the sight of the pack of cigarettes laying on the ground and a half smoked bud. He was gone. Jungkook was gone. You could be overreacting but your gut was telling you otherwise, with shaking hands you yanked the door back open running room to room and once again, he was nowhere to be found.

Opening the door to the main building where all the customers were, you hurried towards the bar, overwhelm beginning to flood your body as you desperately blinked back tears, pushing through people to get to the bar that had seemed pretty calm now that the majority of clients were leaving.

“Hey! I’m glad we caught you just in time before you left-” A familiar face was sitting at the bar across from Taehyung as he greeted you but both men faltered at the sight of your choked voice as you closed your eyes, warm wet tears beginning to spill down your face.

“Jungkook is gone! I- I can’t find him anywhere!”

Note: yayyy!!! another chapter over and it’s gotten even worse!! we only have two chapters left guys I’m not prepared!!! :( lemme know what you think so far and ty for reading!

Taglist CLOSED

Taglist: @rkivemagic @megladon1616 @pearlneedstosleep @sincerelyjeohn @epiphany-playwithfire @maboiisuga @kookphoria91 @taehyungiev13@134340ismybitch @appreciatethefoolishness @hanhannguyen98 @lurkerarmy @lovelyjkook @serendipity-secrets @kimvantaee @timestandstillalittle @yanmi1 @expensive-bangtan-girl @blxckeffect @kimcheeeeeeeeee @rather-not-sayy @pastel-i-decay @taeass @caitlinmarieeblossom @jishookedout134 @rjsmochii @lovethatforme97 @kthstrawberryshortcake @anonymous2505 @rainbow-zebra-unicorns @namjoonies-dimple @keyaqua123 @kai1697jeon @mochibabycakes @min-chimchim03 @rosewxterbts @zazaluvbts @thekookiecorner @copa-c-havana @rapperkookz @xhg-btsx @intrepide11 @bts-army46 @jimintaendem @sleepyje0n @vidaficrecs @purplelady85 @jeonsbbgirl @loveyourselfbangtans @ausjeons @hajimaoppaa @l4life

#bts #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #jungkook x reader smut #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x y/n smut #bts au #bts imagine #jungkook imagine #jungkook scenario

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jessikahathaway · 3 years

Text

Taming the Beast - Part II

(Thank you to Amelia @knjsnoona for the beautiful banner I love it!)

Pairing: Kim Taehyung (V) X Reader

Genre: Romance, Prince!AU, Angst, Fluff, (Future Smut)

Rating: 18+

Warnings: Violence, Gender inequality, Slight descriptions of drowning (if I forgot anything please let me know)

Words: 6.8k (Please bear with me and the shorter chapters until I can get more comfortable in the writing schedule - Thank you!)

Summary: You were the next in line to be the head of your village, when your mother gave you to the enemy to save your people from merciless slaughter. What happens when they try to Tame a Beast?

Your first appearance after being shipped to this inland hellscape was coming up closer than you thought possible.

There was some kind of knighting ceremony happening in the quad near the water. You were dressed in a lighter gown, something to keep the heat off of you. However, the men in uniform weren’t so lucky.

Coats of bright violet decorated their skin along with blazing white trousers running down their legs. Taehyung was standing next to you, looking on at the proceedings with a blank expression. He’d been avoiding you, yet again.

This seemed to be his normal with you however, so you tried not to let it affect you too much. Even if you were growing lonelier by the day. Your days were spent, either locked away in your room with tutors or roaming the grounds in search of someone, anyone to talk to.

This sense of isolation wasn’t normal for you. You’d grown up in a community, not shut off and left to rot in a glamorous cage that was far too suffocating for all it’s beauty. Perhaps that’s what they wanted though, for you to suffocate and finally give in to their demands. The offer was tempting, you couldn’t deny that. But what would become of your people if you stepped down? Walked away and let this tyrant of a King rule them in your stead?

Your decision was clear in your mind at least.

The knighting ceremony drolled on and on. The King’s voice echoed across several rows of men awaiting their chance to be recognized by the illusionist they called a royal. But out of the corner of your eye you noticed Taehyung swaying slightly. You turned your head to face him head on and he seemed to snap out of whatever daze he was in and kept his head forward.

Following suit you continued to drown out his majesty’s voice. You looked out across the water and sighed, trying to let the familiar scent of water fall over you. It did little to help you, however, only leaving a familiar ache in your chest as the smell of home etched itself into your nostrils.

Your feet were beginning to hurt, from standing for so long. The heat was also starting to get to you as well. Sweat was pouring down your spine and pooling into the fabric of your dress. Even if Elaine had selected something a little lighter for today’s proceedings you were just as warm as you would be in those other stuffy gowns.

That’s when you saw Taehyung swaying again. This time your eyes shot to him, instead of your whole head. He was incredibly pale, sweating profusely as he was dressed like all the other men today. But unlike how the other’s got some reprieve in the shade, Taehyung was stuck in the sunlight.

“Are you alright?” you whispered.

“Don’t speak,” he warned, keeping his head up.

“But-”

“Don’t.”

You shut your mouth.

You’d like to argue with him but the king’s shoulders were tensing at the sound of the two of you speaking, so you left it as it was. Him swaying and looking particularly rough in the light of the sun.

Soon, the ceremony finally came to an end. But there was a necessary gathering in the quad as the newly made knights mingled with their king and prince. But, instead of joining his father, Taehyung moved towards the back of the ground, leaning against the stone wall that kept the quad separated from the water.

You watched as he took his hat off, fanning himself with it desperately.

Why didn’t he just take off his jacket? Wouldn’t that be the simplest option here?

Moving towards him you watched in horror as he started to sway again. But, now he was up on the steps. You wanted to shout for him to get down, that he was going to fall that way but yelling, as you had been told on multiple occasions, was improper for a lady. So you tried your best to walk towards him without looking too frantic.

But, you were being stopped.

“My lady, it is best to leave him be for right now,” Xavier’s voice came through your ears.

“And let him fall into the water? Sounds like a great plan,” you growled. He tensed at your tone, but stood firm regardless of his slight fear of you.

“If you’re truly that worried then I’ll send someone to check on him in a moment,” he said, beginning to pull you back from the prince.

“Why can’t I just go do it now? At least let me get him away from the edge, look at him swaying like that!”

Xavier frowned and paid little attention to the ill prince on the stairs.

“He doesn’t need to be babied my lady, he’s a grown man and he will handle it himself,” he said.

Oh.

You understood now.

He didn’t want you fussing over him and making him look weak compared to you. He didn’t want these men here to think that you had any kind of power over the prince. He wanted it to be the exact opposite. Xavier wanted these men to see you bow to the royal advisor’s wishes and be a complacent bride to be.

To hell with that.

You ripped your hand away from Xavier’s surprisingly tight grip before heading off towards Taehyung.

“My lady!” Xavier almost yelled, but kept himself quiet for the sake of his guise... He must be patient... For now.

You stalked towards the stairs, little care for what anyone else thought as you watched Taehyung sway in an alarming fashion.

Just as you were about to reach for him, Taehyung’s body all but crumpled, falling over the edge of the wall and into the unforgiving waters below. You didn’t know it, but you screamed, looking down at the water as it bubbled, taking Taehyung deep into its depths.

Several people came rushing over and looked down.

“What happened?”

“Where is the Prince?”

“Oh God did he fall?”

Elaine moved forwards from the back, pale in the face as she looked down at the water beneath. You looked at her for a moment before she met your eyes.

“H-He can’t swim,” she croaked.

“He what?” you asked, gripping her shoulders. She balked at you for a few moments before righting herself in your grasp.

“The prince, he can’t swim,” she confirmed.

“Oh for the love of the Goddess,” you growled, ripping your hat off and pushing it towards her.

“My lady, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Saving that insolent pup,” you said, before flinging your shoes off and letting your hair down.

“Buy my lady! The current will suck you out further into the water!” Elaine said.

“That’s just a possibility, if I don’t go in there then he’ll certainly drown,” you said, rolling your shoulders before diving off the wall.

You pierced the water delicately, like an arrow shooting through the wind. You dove down, farther and farther until you saw Taehyung. Floating in the deep like a doll, body limp and unmoving.

Diving deeper than before you reached your hand out, grasping Taehyung’s wrist and hauling him forwards. You saw the docks under the water, and they weren’t that far from where you were now. If you could pull him up onto the docks, you’d be golden.

The water caressed your body, but your dress was redistricting your movements. Finding the sash under the water you pulled it open, pushing it off with one hand. You watched as the beautiful fabric sank towards the bottom, giving you more leverage to pull Taehyung towards the top.

Carefully, you swam towards the surface. When you were almost there you pushed Taehyung up ahead of you, so he broke through the surface first. You joined him at the top, gasping in greedy lungfuls of air. But you didn’t hear Taehyung breathing.

With a strength only a member of your tribe could possess, you swam towards the dock, dragging Taehyung along by the collar of his jacket. Finally, with a huff of effort, you managed to get yourself up onto the dock, only in your undergarments. But you didn’t really care about your state of undress when your supposed fiance wasn’t breathing.

Hooking your arms underneath his armpits you heaved with all your might to bring him up onto the dock. Somehow, by the grace of the Goddess herself, you managed. He wasn’t as light as he was in the water. And now with his thick clothing being water logged you had an even harder time getting him out of the frigid abyss.

Taehyung fell against the wooden dock like a soaked towel, limp and lifeless as you assessed the situation. You weren’t unfamiliar with people going unconscious in the water, and needing to help them regain their breath after.

Holding your hand over his face you confirmed he wasn’t breathing. So you did what you knew worked best. Tugging his coat off of his body you listened for a heartbeat, and felt your own stammer at his lack of one. Looking up at his grey face, you put your hands over the middle of his chest and started to push, hard.

His whole body lurched as you continued the compressions, counting in your head and keeping a rhythm. You heard the shouting from down the way, but you kept going, trying to keep up the pace.

“Come on, come on,” you said, while everyone surrounded you.

“My lady! You simply cannot present yourself in such a manner-”

“Shut up! You’re going to throw off my rhythm and then he’ll die,” you growled, forcing your entire upper body down on Taehyung’s chest. Xavier quieted at your feral tone, but you could tell you’d be in for a lecture on mannerisms and everything like that later.

That’s when you heard it.

A little sputter.

You stopped your compressions and watched in relief as Taehyung coughed up the rest of the water. Finally, you let yourself relax as you watched a few men come around and haul Taehyung into a sitting position. Seokjin and Jimin patted him on the back and checked him over for a moment.

Taehyung’s eyes focused on you and noticed your state of undress.

“G-Get her a jacket,” he croaked, still coughing harshly as he rid himself of the water in his lungs.

Soon you felt the warm fabric gracing your shoulders, but you kept your gaze fixed on him as he waved off several attempts of people trying to help him up. You watched as he stood on shaky legs, almost collapsing to the ground again. But, he finally stood and stayed on his feet. You did the same, wrapping the jacket around your chilling frame tighter.

“My lady!” Elaine’s voice came rushing down the dock, looking at you with worry written across her features.

“I’m fine Elaine,” you said, giving her a weak smile.

“Why would you do that!? Why on Earth would you save the prince? Was it your intention to humiliate him in front of the entire court?” she almost growled.

“H-Humiliate him?”

Seokjin and Jimin were already escorting Taehyung back towards the Palace.

“My lady, why didn’t you let one of the knights do it? He’s going to seem like a pathetic whelp in front of the court!” she stated, tightening the jacket around you as she began to push you back towards your cage all over again.

“I don’t understand, was I just supposed to let him drown?”

“You were supposed to let someone else do it,” she said, sighing as you two walked.

“Of course,” you sighed. “I saved his life and somehow I get in trouble for doing so. Not even a thank you?”

Elaine seemed exasperated, but kept her mouth shut. She knew if she said anything more about manners or etiquette you’d most certainly explode. But her silence was just as infuriating, if not more so.

“You are all so prideful that you can’t accept it when you need help. Needing help isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength. Knowing when you can’t accomplish something on your own. Being aware of your limits is one of the best assets out there.”

Of course, you’d received a lecture from Xavier on how you were not to act savagely in public. You were to be poised and elegant, someone deserving of the young prince. As much as you wanted to disagree, that you didn’t need to be some cookie cutter version of a princess to be worthy of someone, you couldn’t find it in yourself to argue.

And a few short days later, you’d fallen ill.

Honestly, you should’ve been more careful. You didn’t take a warm bath after the freezing waters graced your skin and you also had overexerted yourself.

The fever set in shortly after, and you were miserable.

Elaine came in every once in a while to change the cloth on your head, but other than that it was a lonely few days so far. You were cold, even under the mass of blankets they’d piled on you. You shook and your teeth rattled with a vengeance.

You’d asked about Taehyung, wanting to know if he was suffering any repercussions from his little stint in the water, but no one really gave you any kind of answer other than he was performing his duties as usual.

The tutors cut your lessons short, seeing that you weren’t in a state to remember or provide decent feedback to their questions. So, your days were filled mainly with silence, save for the sound of birds chirping outside your barred windows in the morning.

That was, until a knock came to your door one afternoon.

Your fever still hadn’t broken, and you were really feeling drained this particular day.

But what sent your mind swirling more than the fever was the fact that Prince Taehyung was standing in your doorway, looking like a nervous child as he stared at his feet. You raised a brow, looking at him in confusion.

“They said you aren’t getting any better,” he said, voice soft in the large room. “I wanted to come check on you.”

“I see,” you said, leaning back against the pillows.

“May I come closer?” he asked, shutting the door behind him.

“If you don’t fear my fever,” you said, shrugging.

“There are few things I fear more than a fever,” he said, swallowing hard.

You understood what he meant immediately, and shut your mouth. But, you patted your bed with a gentle hand, urging him to come forward. He did just that, and sat towards your feet. You looked at him, noticing he wasn’t pale or suffering any after effects of almost drowning like you were.

At least he managed to get away practically unscathed.

“How are you feeling?” you asked, trying not to let your weakened voice crack as you asked your question.

“I think I’m supposed to ask you that,” he said, a soft smile brushing his lips before disappearing all together.

“It’s a fever, I’ve gotten them before. I’m sure I’ll be fine,” you said, clearing your throat.

“But what if you don’t?” he asked, lifting his gaze to yours.

“Then I don’t,” you said, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Do you really not fear death?” he asked.

“I don’t fear it for myself, no. I fear it for those around me, my mother and friends back home that would miss me if I were to die. But for myself? I am not afraid,” you said, tilting your head. “Why?”

“You act as though nothing frightens you, I wonder what a life without fear is like,” he sighs, shoulders slumping forwards.

“It’s not that I don’t fear anything at all. I do. But I don’t let that fear control me, rather, I let it fuel me. Instead of constricting me I let it give me purpose and direction,” you explained.

“I wish I could do that,” he marveled, leaning forward on his knees, placing his head in his hands.

“You can, but it takes practice,” you said, voice wavering as a fit of coughs hit you hard. Taehyung looked at you in concern, watching as you reached for a glass of water on your nightstand with a shaky hand. Without much more thought he was on his feet and handing you the glass, waiting patiently until you were done to place it back on the nightstand for you.

Swallowing hard, you watched as Taehyung sat up by your hips this time.

“People have been telling me I should come in here and discipline you. For making a spectacle out of me, in front of the court and several newly knighted men. As well as my father. He is-he is the one wanting me to assert myself over you. But, the only words I wish to say are thank you,” he said, looking at you with an odd look swimming in his eyes.

“Forgive me for sensing duplicity,” you said, raising a brow at him.

Taehyung sighed before nodding. “I can’t ask you to believe me when I tell you those words, but, they are genuine. I mean it. Thank you for saving me. You didn’t have to, and yet you risked your life to save mine. I won’t forget that.”

“And what about looking weak in front of the court, hmm? Have they shamed you yet?” you asked.

“A few have asked about my constitution. If I am faring well after falling in the frigid water,” he said.

“It could be worse,” you reasoned.

“Certainly, but your situation is worrying me more,” he said.

“You have left me to my own devices for weeks. I apologize for prying into your business, but it seems that you only want to speak to me when you’ve done something wrong. To appease your guilty conscience? I’m afraid you won’t get any pity from me. Because you’ve been cold and distant on your own. And you’re worried about me? Funny how you haven’t been worried until the interaction directly correlates with you,” you said.

Taehyung frowned and looked at his lap. You knew that he wasn’t aware of your struggles. But he also hadn’t ever asked. You were like a pretty accessory that had been locked away for safekeeping. But, you weren’t pretty in their eyes, you were a tool to be used when necessary. You were a means to an end.

“I’ve been uprooted from everything I know. Everyone I’ve ever taken comfort in. I’ve been isolated, humiliated and treated like an animal. Do you know how that fares on someone’s mind?” you asked, raising a brow at him.

Taehyung remained silent.

“You barred these windows like I’m some kind of prisoner. But, where do I have to go? My family has already accepted our terms, I have no place among them anymore. My people will listen to me, but I’m being told they will be regurgitated orders from the king here. I am to sit like a doll and be obedient. I try to do well by you, I try to help you, but apparently that’s not allowed either. So tell me Taehyung, when you say thank you to me-exactly what sacrifice are you thanking me for?”

The prince sat there with a pained expression.

“I didn’t want you to come here,” he whispered. “I didn’t know what it would do.”

“Perhaps not, but you listen to your father blindly because you’ve been taught that blind devotion is more powerful than genuine leadership. Leaders should be strong, yes. And leaders should be just, but most importantly leaders should know when enough is enough. When it is time to show mercy, because sometimes... we as people don’t know when to stop.”

Taehyung stood up quickly, back turned towards you. Your eyes felt heavy, you’d exerted a lot of yourself in this argument.

“I’m not the one to blame here. I’ve done nothing wrong. But perhaps you don’t understand, considering your background. Your people probably solved arguments with their fists instead of their minds,” he sighed.

You felt the anger come over you in a wave. It fueled every beat of your heart, every inch of your being was scorching hot in fury. How dare he? How dare he assume that you were lesser. You didn’t grow up with pedigree, your people didn’t see the point. You worked for what you wanted. Since when was using your two hands to get what you wanted, a bad thing?

Seeing red, you flung the bedding off your legs and stood up, hauling off and forcing him to spin around to face you. Taehyung’s eyes were wide with shock.

“You will listen to me,” you growled. “I am not incapable of rational thought. Nor are my people. You will not insult my tribe nor will you insult me. Just because I don’t fit into the standards your people have cultivated, doesn’t mean that I am unworthy. I am sick of people saying that I am undeserving of you. Who gets to decide that?”

Taehyung was wide eyed. Never before had a woman spoken so openly to him, challenged him. He wasn’t sure how to react, so you kept going.

“I am a person. I have a heartbeat, just like you,” you said, tugging one of his hands onto your chest. Taehyung almost gasped, but he feared his outburst would only aggravate you further. “I’m alive. I’m not some object for you to toss around when it’s convenient. I am Y/N of the Nightcrawler tribe, your future wife. Treat me as such.”

Your chest was heaving. Your heart was pounding, blood rushing through your ears. Taehyung could do little but look down at you with shock. You had spoken out against him, put your hands on him and defied him. Like a tally of things the future queen would never do, you did in the span of five minutes.

“Y/N,” Taehyung started, his voice soft.

“I’m vulnerable too. I have weak spots, so please, don’t push them,” you whispered.

Taehyung looked at you. Properly.

Your body was ravaged by this fever. Your face was sunk in and your hair was limp against your head. He didn’t come here to pick a fight with you, although he never expects to and you wind up here anyways. But, everything you say is always different from what he thinks. And it’s frustrating for him.

Although, he hasn’t tried to see this from your perspective either.

You were about to further your point when Taehyung’s face started to go out of focus. You swallowed hard, blinking slowly to try and level your vision.

Taehyung noticed you started to lean back, making him frown.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, watching as you started to sway lightly.

“I-I’m... my head,” you whispered, body succumbing to your exhaustion and falling backwards.

“Y/N!” Taehyung yelped, reaching out and grabbing you before you could hit the floor. The prince sunk to his knees, you cradled in his arms. Your eyes were closed, breaths coming in short and erratic. “Guards! Call the palace physician! Now!” Taehyung yelled.

“Yes your highness!” one responded. The sound of metal armor accompanied them down the hallway as Taehyung tried to get you to look at him.

“Y/N, open your eyes. Look at me,” he said, squishing your cheeks between his fingers.

“Mama,” you whimpered, clutching his fingers tight. Your small hands held onto him with a strength he was impressed with considering your state.

“It’s alright, I’ve got you,” Taehyung said, curling his fingers around yours.

“What happened?” a woman’s voice echoed through the room.

“She fainted,” Taehyung said, not turning his back.

“She’s sick, why was she out of bed in the first place?”

Taehyung turned and frowned.

“Elaine,” he warned.

“My apologies,” she sighed, looking down.

“She was yelling at me, I think she just tired herself out,” he said, brushing your hair away from your face. Elaine didn’t miss the tender action, swallowing hard.

“She yelled at you?” she asked.

“Yeah, I came here to thank her for saving me,” he explained. “But it turned into an argument.”

“There’s no reasoning with people like her,” Elaine said, shrugging.

“People like her?” Taehyung asked.

“Savages,” she answered, looking at you with a muted interest.

“She will be your future queen, don’t forget that,” he reminded.

Elaine was deathly quiet.

“You don’t have to keep telling me Tae, I know,” she whispered.

“I don’t like it either, but you have to respect her. She will be your ruler and my wife,” he said.

“Taehyung, we've had this conversation several times. What she doesn’t know, won’t hurt her! Several kings take mistresses,” she exclaimed.

“My father didn’t, nor did my grandfather before him. Regreyan men are loyal, once we are married we will no longer be able to see each other,” Taehyung said.

“Tae,” she said, reaching out for him. Taehyung took her hand before it made contact with his shoulder.

“That’s final, Elaine. I will not disrespect my queen by being with you,” he answered. Elaine ripped her hand from his grasp.

“I’ve given you everything. All of me, every ounce of me is yours. I-I can never marry,” she tried, a pleading tone taking over.

“Elaine, I asked before we went further. I asked if you were sure, if you were aware of the consequences. You said you didn’t want to marry if it wasn’t me,” Taehyung said, eyes shining with tears.

“I don’t! But, Taehyung. Listen to yourself, you barely know this woman. We’ve loved each other for years, why can’t it be me? Huh? If you’re willing to marry this creature then surely a servant wouldn’t be an issue,” Elaine said, gripping her skirts.

“You don’t have any form of title, Elaine. You never have. She may not have a Regreyan title, but she is a princess in her own right,” Taehyung said, looking down at you.

“You aren’t listening to me,” she whispered.

“We need to stop this, Elaine. Before we both wind up hurting more than we need too,” he said.

“Fifteen years of loving you and you want me to just stop?” she asked, heart shattering with every word.

“You think this is easy for me? You think I want to shut you out and throw you to the wind? I love you so much, but we can’t do this anymore. It’s wrong,” Taehyung whispered.

Elaine kneeled down, taking his face in her hands. Taehyung leaned into the familiar warmth. She rubbed his cheeks with her thumbs, soothing his fears with the touch.

“I love you too. So much, we can figure this out,” she encouraged. Quickly, Taehyung pulled away yet again.

“No, Elaine. You are the one not listening. I’m saying no, this can’t happen anymore. Don’t make me say it again, please. Quit giving me hope when I know there isn’t any,” Taehyung croaked.

You groaned in his arms, hand lifting to your forehead. Taehyung cradled your head, pulling you into his arms more comfortably for you.

“It’s alright, I’ve got you,” Taehyung whispered,

“Where is she?” The palace physician’s voice echoed through the hall.

“Here! Elaine, go take the evening off, I’ll watch over her,” Taehyung said, picking you up in his arms and carrying you to bed.

“Yes, your highness,” Elaine said stiffly, turning and walking out of the room.

“Now, what seems to be the problem?”

“She fainted, I think she just over exerted herself,” Taehyung answered.

Elaine felt her heart hammering against her chest as she flew down the hall. She had to let him know. Their plan was failing. Taehyung was going to marry you and everything was going to go up in smoke if they didn’t do something.

Now.

Rushing down the hallway she stumbled into the eerily familiar room. Elaine was panting, chest heaving as her fears and anxieties culminated into an ugly monster that roared within her.

Taehyung was hers...

He always had been.

T-There was no way some beastly woman from the Nightcrawler tribe was going to take him from her.

“What seems to be the matter,” the dark voice of her counterpart asked.

“T-The prince, he won’t listen to me anymore. H-He says we must stop meeting, he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. You-You said that she wouldn’t come between us! You promised me that in the end I would wed Taehyung!” she cried.

“Silence you insolent brat!” his voice practically turned her blood to ice. Elaine remained silent as her partner looked across the books in the room with muted interest. “What did he say?”

“He said we can’t be together anymore. That he won’t disrespect her by being with me as well,” she whimpered. “Please fix this. Tell me you can fix this.”

“My dear, I can fix several problems. But, I can’t stop him from losing interest in you,” the voice warned.

“H-He’s not losing interest! It’s his sense of duty,” she said, frowning at her skirts.

“Sense of duty you said,” her partner murmured. “Perhaps we need to give him a different person to be faithful too.”

“What do you mean?” Elaine questioned.

“When was the last time you and Taehyung were intimate?”

Elaine choked.

“We-well... Um, perhaps a little over a month ago? Perhaps longer? We haven’t been intimate since before he left for the Nightcrawler tribe,” Elaine mumbled.

“A good time frame, you wouldn’t be showing yet,” their voice murmured.

“Showing what?”

“Do you take the tonics regularly?”

Elaine blushed yet again.

“Y-yes I do,” she answered.

“Does he see you take them?” they asked.

“No, usually he’s gone before then,” she said, face pulling down in sadness.

“So even though you’ve taken it, he wouldn’t know for sure. Say the apothecary gave you a poor tonic. Say you believe to be with child,” the cruel voice urged.

“I-I can’t lie to him,” Elaine refused. Suddenly, a hand was gripping her throat. Elaine struggled, gripping the hands with desperation.

“You want him to be yours, right? You want to send that Nightcrawler filth back where she belongs? Then you’ll do whatever I say, and I will ensure that Taehyung and you are together,” they promised, slowly letting the pressure of their grip go.

Elaine rubbed her tender throat, swallowing harshly.

“Y-Yes, I’ll do as you ask,” she said, placing her hands on her stomach.

“Good, tell him soon.”

“I will.”

The next week you had been feeling better. You were still a little shaky when it came to walking for long distances and your head still felt a little dizzy when you stood up, but, for the most part you’d made a full recovery.

Taehyung had been oddly attentive the past few days.

He would check on you after your studies, making sure you weren’t feeling ill or too exhausted. He even told the tutors to take it easy on you for the time being, until you were one hundred percent better.

Being babied isn’t something you were used to, coming from where you did. In the Nightcrawler tribe, you took care of yourself unless it was life or death. And if you were sick? You’d work until you couldn’t feel the pain anymore. Or you collapsed. Whichever came first.

Now, it may sound cruel to teach people not to listen to their bodies. Making you push your limits and then some, but it was all for a purpose. To be the best you could. If you pushed yourself when you were weak, then you’d be stronger. Push through the pain to get to the other side where you could rest.

But, it was also about learning your limits. Knowing what you can and can’t take is important.

Today you had lunch scheduled with Taehyung and a few others. Xavier mentioned it wouldn’t require much on your end, just some pleasantries. Sometimes those were the worst things. Exchanging meaningless words with people you didn’t care about. Why did anyone care about saving face when these people made their own assumptions about you beforehand?

It was all so exhausting.

Elaine came in, deathly silent.

She’d been like this for a while.

Only speak when spoken to. You weren’t necessarily close with her, but you didn’t like the silence. It was unnerving.

“Elaine,” you said when she walked over holding your dress in her hands.

“Yes, my lady,” she responded, monotone.

“Are you alright?” you asked, watching as she came closer.

“I’m fine,” she answered, curt and short.

“What’s happened?” you pressed. Whatever she was hiding must be a large burden to carry on her own. Perhaps, you could make a friend in this hell after all.

“It’s nothing to concern yourself with, my lady. Please, don’t put more unnecessary stress on yourself because of a servant’s problems,” she said, turning and gathering your shoes.

“Problems are still problems, no matter who they belong to,” you shrugged. “You don’t have to tell me. But you can if you want to.”

“My lady, it is very kind of you to offer, but please... Please stop asking,” she said, voice cracking at the end.

“Very well,” you nodded, turning and looking at the window.

It was a nice day outside today. You would be having lunch in the gardens according to Xavier, with several elite members of the court (he liked to stress this part in hopes of getting you to behave but it rarely ever worked).

Elaine dressed you, pulling your corset tight against your body. Was it just you, or was it tighter today? She fastened everything and pulled the fabric over your head. You felt it pool around your arms and feet, gently caressing you.

The color was a soft pink, like a flower that grew right by the lake back home. The thought of home made a twinge of pain shoot through your heart, it was likely you’d never seen it again. Especially with the way things were going now...

Elaine finished gathering your skirts and helped you get your shoes on. She didn’t spend too long on your hair, just placing a small pin in before letting the rest fall naturally.

A knock came to the door.

Elaine walked over, opening in and bowing low to the individual on the other side.

“Your highness,” she said.

Taehyung walked in, dressed nicely. You assessed him. He looked okay, if anything he appeared to be tired. Although, that was a common theme for him anyways. The prince approached you, giving an appropriate nod before offering you his arm.

“What is that for?” you asked, raising a brow.

“I thought they were training you on etiquette,” he said, still holding his elbow out to you. “I’m escorting you down to lunch.”

Your brows raised in recognition. “I see,” you said, taking his arm gently. Taehyung nodded to Elaine and took you down the stairs.

You were quiet for the majority of the walk to the gardens. Taehyung kept pace with you easily, guiding you down the halls of the palace with practiced ease. You followed behind, keeping your face level. Guards lined the walls as you got closer to the outside.

Soon, you were walking into the large gardens. There was a table set up, people were sitting around already enjoying some tea and finger foods. Taehyung walked over and the individuals were on their feet fast.

You and Taehyung both nodded in their direction. Taehyung pulled a chair out for you, helping you sit down and pushing your seat in when you were comfortable. He found his spot next to you, and shortly thereafter food was being served.

Small plates came out and the idle chatter started. No one really addressed you, keeping their conversation mainly between themselves and sometimes including Taehyung.

Until, one woman from the back spoke up.

“Lady Y/N, this is your first time dining with the court, is it not?” she asked, leaning her head on her hand.

“Yes, it is,” you agreed, bringing your food to your mouth gingerly.

Your stomach was still fitful at the best of times and you weren’t looking to vomit in front of several people. Even if it didn’t bother you, you would certainly get a lecture about a bodily function you had no control over.

“I’m surprised you speak so well,” another woman announced.

“Did you think otherwise?” you asked. Taehyung could see where this was going a mile away. Quickly, under the table, he grabbed your leg. You almost jumped at the contact, but you kept yourself still.

“Do your people know how to read and write? Or was it only for the leader’s children?” the same woman asked.

“It’s not common for my people to read and write, we don’t particularly have a use for it in the masses. So, we select a few who don’t appear to be natural warriors and train them in it instead. We play to people’s strengths,” you said, trying not to sound too proud.

“Funny. We thought you just killed the weak,” someone said towards the back. Your head snapped to the side, finding the person who spoke. Your eyes narrowed.

“That’s a waste of precious human life. Why would we kill our own people simply because they aren’t meant for one path. No one is meant for the exact same path as another. Being a warrior isn’t for everyone,” you reasoned, trying desperately to keep calm.

“Being a queen isn’t for everyone either,” someone mumbled.

You slammed your hands on the table, tea sets rocking and plates clattering. Taehyung looked like he was going to explode, but you were already boiling.

“You think me to be so simple? You think that I am a mere animal in your eyes. That I know nothing of discipline. Nothing of control. Well, you must think I have some form of control, because you know what Nightcrawlers can do, and you’re still speaking to me like a child. How brave of you. So you know what I’m capable of, but you’re still pushing my buttons. You want to see how tight of a leash they put me on, is that it? Because I can assure you, no amount of collars or restraints will tame me. I am unbreakable,” you growled. “And you are nothing in the wake of me.”

“You’re nothing but a beast! You wouldn’t know cordial if it hit you in the face!”

“We expect some kind of heathen to be our queen? You’re laughable, that's what you are,” someone bellowed from their seat.

“Everyone please, settle down-”

“This is what I think of you and your people!” a woman screeched, tossing a glass of water right on you. You felt the rush of cold water soaking into your dress and you felt the anger double. The guards quickly surrounded the woman who soaked you, making you raise a brow.

Then a knowing smile took over your features.

“I see...”

“Y/N, sit down!” Taehyung barked, your head dropped, looking at the ground with that same smirk on your face.

“Your guards are protecting a member of the court before they’re protecting me. She threw water at me and they’re defending her. This shows me how you view me. What you all think of me. I am just a monster to you, aren’t I?” you said weakly.

“Y/N, please,” Taehyung started.

“I hoped that I would find another home here,” you breathed. “But all I found was a prison.”

Taehyung’s heart stammered in his chest at your tone. You wiped the water off your face, turned towards Taehyung.

“I’m not feeling well, I’m going to my room to rest. I hope you all enjoy your lunch,” you said, walking towards the palace. Elaine was there at the door, wrapping you in a towel and ushering you inside.

Taehyung wanted to bolt after you, make sure that you would take a bath and not further damage your health. But there was a mess to clean up here.

“What a rude woman,” a lord to Taehyung’s left said, wiping his pants off. Some of the water that hit you had also gotten him as well.

“I’m so sorry your highness,” a woman lamented. “She seems horrid.”

“No. She is not to blame for this, you all pushed her. You knew what would happen and you wanted to make sport of her,” Taehyung glowered at his court. “If this were any other woman. You’d all be bowing to her.”

Taehyung started to leave the table in search of you, he was done with the mindless people with nothing but money and greed filling their hearts.

“We’d never bow to the likes of her!” someone shouted.

Taehyung chuckled.

“You will.”

Taglist: @ladyartemesia, @lolalee24, @mawwnsterr, @defenestre-me, @musicalitae, @asifihaveaclue, @midnightsora, @mylifeisafxingmess, @jeonartemis, @coolmusicnut, @daydreambrliever, @chimchoom

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seriouslysnape · 3 years

Text

Shattered

Draco Malfoy x Astoria Malfoy x Fem! Reader

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of cheating.

Request: Hi, I was one of the many who requested a one shot.So I wrote that I'd like for you to write an angsty one shot with Draco, Astoria and reader. I heard this sound: So she gets the flowers right? And I got excuses, I got used and shattered." And it stuck with me still 🙈 You can make the end happy or sad. However you like.Thank you 😍💚 @perfect-storm95

A/N: Well, well, well. This has made me hate Draco for the remainder of the day. Also, I’m gonna throw a little twist into this.

Word Count: 3,714

“All you have to do is say yes.”

It took a respectable amount of control to ignore the lurch in your stomach when he put his arm around her shoulder. It took even more restraint to avoid the heat in your throat when he laughed at something that she had spoken. And it took absolutely everything in you to ignore the way your heart ached when he kissed her the way he had once kissed you.

It had been a wild evening for sure, to say the very least. What was supposed to be a lighthearted night full of making fond memories and even more fun, you quickly discovered that you’d be having to face a part of your past that you had yet to come to terms with.

It had been almost three years since the last time you had seen Draco Malfoy. It had been three years since the last straw had been drawn and you left his home in hurt tears. Three years since you had walked out of his life, making a silent vow to never see him again, even if it meant going out of your way to do so.

You never thought you’d reunite quite like this.

Luna Lovegood had always been a dear friend of yours, despite the fact that she was a year younger than you. Her kindness and eccentric nature had appealed to you in the best of ways. The bubbly Ravenclaw girl had blossomed into a wonderful woman, and it overjoyed you to see her beginning this new chapter.

Her wedding was exactly how you had imagined it. It was far from traditional, but it was stunning nonetheless. Luna was a radiant bride, and you were beyond happy for her. Your good mood, however, tanked when you saw the blonde headed man at the reception afterwards. Even though it had been a few years, Draco still looked as he did the night you left him.

It was a real punch in the gut to see him there, and you were almost convinced that someone had spiked your drink. You were sure that you were dreaming, or that he was just a weird figment of your imagination.

He was still tall and lean, and you couldn’t help but allow your eyes to follow the chiseled line of his jaw. He was wearing his nicest, favorite suit that still fit his frame perfectly. His voice was still serious and assertive, and his tone was still as it had always been. Make no mistake, it was still the same Draco Malfoy.

To make matters worse, it hurt like hell to see his arm wrapped around the very woman that caused your breakup.

You wouldn’t deny that there was bad blood between yourself and Draco. Things had ended on a rotten note and things were never discussed, so it was only natural that there was unspoken tension.

Now, you were sulking at the table just behind theirs, not even interested in the engaging conversation happening around you between friends of yours that you hadn’t seen in quite some time. You just couldn’t seem to look away. It was like if you looked away and then looked back, he wouldn’t be there anymore. However, your silly belief was dismantled when his gaze suddenly caught yours. Yep, he was definitely real and sitting right in front of you.

Because you knew those piercing gray eyes anywhere.

You half expected him to pay you no mind and look away as if he hadn’t seen you at all, maybe even ignore your presence completely. But no, his glance locked with yours for a solid few seconds. Minds racing, hands shaking, hearts beating.

You were actually the first to look away, attempting to shift your attention as if you hadn’t just seen the only man you ever loved after so much time had passed. Even if you had been listening to what was being said around you, you were sure you wouldn’t have been able to hear a thing due to the thump of your heart in your ears.

A deep blush had tinted Draco’s pale cheeks, and he had yet to look away. Your mind trailed to the woman who was obviously his date, and it was someone you REALLY had hoped you’d never see again.

Astoria Greengrass was a beautiful woman. She was someone that you couldn’t help but compare yourself to. All the way from her voluminous hair to her impeccably pedicured toes. You had always thought of her to be the model of a picture perfect woman. But you never once thought that she was supposed to be competition for you.

It was a moment that would be permanently burned into your brain. No matter how hard you tried to forget (even going as far to use a spell on yourself) it still made its way back to you. It was a sickening sight, walking into your shared home with your boyfriend of 6 years to find him in bed with someone that had been under your nose the entire time.

It was a massive blow to your pride, trust, and your heart. Draco had pleaded with and begged you to forgive him and to let it go. In between your screams and cries, he promised that things could work out and that things could be the way they were before.

You had magic for a reason, and he could easily obliviate all three of you and no one would ever know. But he knew how dishonest that would be. And you hated dishonesty.

Astoria had ducked out of the house just when your fight was getting started, which was good for her because you were sure you would’ve done something you might regret later. You and Draco had fought for hours. So long that your throats had gone raw from all the yelling and your eyes were almost puffed shut from all the tears. You had told him it was over in a burst of anger and hurt, and left him alone in your bedroom almost falling to pieces.

And that was the last time you had seen Draco Malfoy.

His presence hadn’t totally disappeared from your life. His name popped up in conversations from time to time, and you’d often stumble upon pictures of the two of you during happier times. But what you had not realized until seeing him again was that he had not once left the safety of your heart.

You were still in love with Draco Malfoy.

Your experience at Luna’s wedding had taken a full turn, and now you found yourself incredibly uncomfortable. You shouldn’t have been so surprised that he was there. Luna and Rolf had invited just about anyone they had ever been in contact with. Still, it was throwing you for a loop that Draco was sitting right in front of you.

It was the beautiful, gentle music that began to play overhead that finally snapped you out of your daze. Along with Luna and her newly wed husband, a few couples had broken away from their designated tables to slow dance on the dance floor of the reception. It didn’t take long for the floor to be crowded with people.

As hard as you tried, you couldn’t fight the urge to let your eyes flicker back to Draco. It was almost like an instinct. It was a natural behavioral thing that was still as sharp as ever.

He wasn’t looking at you anymore, but his eyes were fixed on Astoria, who he had guided up from her seat and taken by the hand. A hot boiling sensation was building up in your gut at the sight of him leading her to the floor as well, holding her close and swaying with her to the comfort of the music. It wasn’t long before you were out on the floor as well, being spun around carefully by Blaise Zabini, whom you had been friends with throughout your years at Hogwarts. But your attention was far from Blaise.

Jealousy ran rampant through your core as you watched the way Draco’s hand rested on the small of Astoria’s back, his fingertips dancing across her. He looked down slightly into her dazzling eyes, a smile appearing on his face that was nothing short of lovestruck.

He had once danced with you like that. He had once held you like that. He had once looked at you like that. Granted, the situation usually involved the two of you alone in your living room under nothing but candlelight and music from one of your favorite shared records. But those were the moments that had always stuck with you.

The times where nothing else mattered but being together. The moments where the two of you felt like the only people in the world. When loving each other unconditionally was the only thing you ever wanted to do. Perhaps that was the hardest part of it all. The fact that you never knew where things went wrong. Your perfect relationship had crashed and burned unexpectedly with little explanations to why Draco decided that suddenly you weren’t enough.

Draco caught you staring for the second time, his focus visibly moving from the woman that was currently in his arms. He had this look of uncertainty in his expression, but as if he had already made his mind up. Before you could process anything that was happening, Draco broke away from Astoria, and he was standing next to you and Blaise.

“Mind if I take [Y/N] from you, Blaise?” Draco smiled radiantly at his old friend.

Your stomach hit your shoes seemingly. Blaise smirked, still as coy as always.

“Only if I can have a dance with your lady.” He grinned.

Draco chuckled lowly, allowing Blaise to take Astoria for a while. Despite everyone maneuvering around you, you felt like you were standing alone with Draco. You could only look at him, words failing to form. His hand trembled faintly as he held it out to you.

“Care to dance?” He offered.

Your head was screaming no, but your heart was screaming yes. You weren’t sure if this was a good idea or not, considering you weren’t sure what this was all about. But as always, your heart’s desires won out.

“Sure.” You replied meekly.

A million fireworks exploded through you when his hand touched yours, pulling you in to him. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders, his hands resting on your back the way they had with Astoria. He stroked your skin through the material of your dress, as lovingly as he had all the times before.

You were equal parts frustrated and desperate. Frustrated with yourself for still longing for him and missing him after all this time. Desperate for things to be the way they were before.

“You look wonderful.” He spoke quietly, careful not to disturb the peace of the atmosphere.

Oh, his voice. It was still deep and husky, but full of thought. It sent shivers down your spine that you hoped he couldn’t feel with his hand resting there.

“So do you.” You responded, wishing your heart would slow just long enough to get a hold of yourself.

He continued to hold you flush to him, taking in the scent of that same perfume you always wore. It flooded him with memories and remembrance.

Truth be told, you knew all along that you couldn’t get away with never seeing Draco again. Even if you hadn’t been together for quite some time, your circle was just too close to successfully dodge him forever. But this was not at all how you thought it would go.

If you were being completely honest, you thought you’d casually run into him in Diagon Alley or somewhere that you went often. You always imagined that you’d spot him from across the room and be filled with such a rage that you’d be too angry to speak to him or would explode into a huge fight scene. You’d storm out without ever trying to make real contact with him, and you’d try your hardest to go back to living as normally as possible. This was far from what you had ever dreamed of.

And you weren’t as angry as you always thought you’d be. Admittedly, there was still a pit of fury from the fact of his infidelity. But there was another feeling that seemed to wash that pit out completely. You weren’t angry at all really.

You were sad.

“How have you been?” He asked, stepping in sync with you to the music.

“Staying busy with work. How about you?”

You were a little shocked when he didn’t burst into rambles about everything you had missed out on in the last few years. Instead, he only shrugged as if he wasn’t too impressed with himself.

“I’ve been good. Mother and Father still ask about you.” He answered.

A quick glimmer of joy beamed on your face. Draco’s heart leapt with thrill.

“Do they? Oh, how are they, Dray?” You asked with eagerness to hear about his parents well-being, not even realizing the use of his nickname.

His heart swelled.

“They’re the same as always.” He replied.

You nodded briefly, changing the subject.

“That’s good,” You prompted, only continuing once nothing else was said; “It’s been a while.”

“It has. I’m happy you’re doing well.” Draco answered.

You had been trying to ignore it, but the cold metal of his ring was prevalent through your dress, and it told you everything you needed to know.

“So, you’re married now, huh?” You wondered aloud.

The blush returned to his cheeks, and he sucked in a breath.

“Yeah. Almost a year now,” He confirmed; “You?”

A flush of embarrassment and dread flooded your body. You didn’t want to have to tell him that you hadn’t moved on when he clearly had. It wasn’t that you hadn’t tried to meet and find someone new. A few boyfriends had come and gone since Draco, and while they were all great, none of them had captured your heart. Even if it had felt like it at times, the world didn’t stop spinning the night you left Draco Malfoy, so you knew there was someone else out there.

You just wished they’d come sooner rather than later.

“No, not yet. I suppose that I haven’t found the one yet.” You said in a way that was unintentionally hurtful, but still left a sting in both yours and Draco’s chest.

It felt like a lie to say that. You had convinced yourself that Draco was “the one” long ago. From time to time, you still thought that. Draco himself would confess that he had felt the same way about you. Spending forever with you was all he had ever wanted. Getting married, having kids, and falling more and more in love everyday.

He’d never forgive himself for messing all of that up.

Silence grew between the two of you. Something that never would’ve happened if the two of you were still together. You and Draco had never run out of things to talk about.

You remembered all the nights that he made love to you until neither of you could hold yourselves up. How could you forget the way he cherished every part of you as if it were crafted by the highest hand?

You recalled the way you craved his touch and how he could have you in a puddly, whining mess underneath his hands within mere seconds. You missed his touch. You missed all those times.

You missed him.

Now here you were. Like two total strangers who knew everything about each other. It was heartbreaking.

“I think about you. A lot.” Draco abruptly professed, his voice even quieter on the off chance that Astoria and Blaise might come back waltzing by.

Something you could only describe as pure shock blindsided you. You certainly weren’t expecting THAT at all. As much as you wanted to fling yourself at him, you knew this was wrong. Your head shook, feeling as if it weighed like a ton of bricks.

“Stop.” You meant to say as a stern instruction, but it came out more as a pleading whisper.

He chuckled at himself incredulously, not acknowledging your beg.

“It’s the truth,” He remarked; “You know, I thought that marrying Astoria would fix me. I thought it was going to fill the piece of my life that was missing.”

Your head was still rocketing off flight responses. Every neuron howling at you to stop listening. To ignore. To get over it. To forget. But you wouldn’t.

You couldn’t.

“But I was wrong. I was so wrong. It took me far too long to realize that you’re the only thing that could ever fill that missing piece. You complete that picture,” He explained; “You complete me.”

It was near impossible not to listen to what he was saying. If your heart were beating any harder then it would surely explode. Your eyes were shining with tears that you had been holding back for far too long.

“Draco, I...” You trailed off, your voice quivering.

“Shh. Don’t cry, my pretty girl,” He hushed; “I can leave her, you know. Astoria will never be what you were. I know it, and she knows it. She’ll never say that though.”

It seemed that you were growing more stunned with each word that fell from his lips. He was offering to leave his wife for you. He was more than willing to just drop everything for you. It was a lot to consider...but you weren’t exactly leaping at his invitation.

“We can start over. Just you and me. We can be everything we were before,” He said, leaning in to where his lips were just barely brushing your ear; “All you have to do is say yes.”

It was a hell of a tempting offer. You had a chance to go back to him, to make up for all the time that you lost. You could make more of those amazing memories that you held so close to you.

You could have a life with Draco once again.

As much as you wanted to cave and give him everything you possibly could, there was something that was stopping you from giving in to him. Because even though you had this chance, you knew that it would never be like it was before.

“I can’t.” You hushed out.

You could feel Draco’s heart sink. Now tears were brimming his own eyes, blearing his vision and causing a lump in his throat.

“Please, darling...” He begged; “Why not?”

You shook your head again, holding your breath to stop your own tears from falling down your cheeks. It was killing you to do this, but you knew it was the right thing.

No matter how bad it hurt.

“Because you and I both know it won’t be like it was before. No matter how many times we try to start over,” You told him; “You broke my trust. You broke my heart, Draco. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive you for what you did.”

Determination and desperation flashed over his features.

“It was a mistake. A horrible, stupid mistake that I know for a fact that I never would’ve let happen again if you had stayed.” He pleaded.

You swallowed hard, forcing a sob back down.

“And if I had stayed, I’d never be able to go a day without wondering if that’s actually true.” You recanted.

Draco was shattered. He felt like he had been broken into millions of tiny bits that were thrown across the world.

Now he truly knew how you had felt since you left him.

“[Y/N], I-“ He went to say but was cut off.

“I’m sorry, Draco.” You apologized, eyeing Astoria and Blaise beginning to dance their way over to the two of you.

A single tear slipped from Draco’s left eye, the tear rolling down all the way to his jaw. The fate he had feared the most had just come true.

He had just lost his forever. And there wasn’t anything he could do about it.

All he could do was make sure he bared the rest of his heart to the woman he loved the most.

“I love you.” Draco proclaimed.

One of your hands came to cup his face, his head lulling in your soft touch.

“I love you, Draco.”

Before anything else could be said, Astoria and Blaise were at your side. She looked at Draco and back to you, you weren’t sure what it was, but she almost looked as if she knew everything that had just been said.

Without another word, you and Draco stopped dancing. Your arms fell from around him and his hold loosened so you could step away. Astoria’s hand rested on Draco’s shoulder as if to usher him away, but his hands were still holding yours.

His icy eyes looked into yours, as if to silently ask you once more if you would come with him. The look in your eyes told him that your mind was made up. You backed away from him, his fingertips only falling from yours once you were far enough away that he physically couldn’t reach you anymore.

Astoria whisked him away once you were out of their space. Both of you feeling much more empty than before. The rest of the night was much quieter for you. You kept to yourself, feeling as if you had been gutted completely.

And that was the last time you saw Draco Malfoy.

Your first wish of never wanting to see him again came true after that night. You never saw or heard from him again. You constantly found yourself wondering how things turned out for him. You wondered if he stayed with Astoria. You wondered if they had kids. You wondered if they spent forever together.

You wondered if they did all the things that you and Draco were supposed to do.

Your heart never fully moved on from Draco. And his never moved on from you. It was a reality you were never able to come to terms with, but there was one truth that you became all too familiar with.

Sometimes there just are no happy endings.

#draco malfoy #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy x female reader #draco malfoy angst #draco malfoy oneshot #Harry Potter #harry potter fanfiction #draco malfoy x you #draco malfoy x y/n #seriouslysnape

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pxedpiper · 3 years

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Horizon (21)

Plot Summary: Once a princess of a kingdom you loathed to call yours, you have somehow found yourself aboard a pirate ship, stuck on the ocean waves. Now you try to figure out how to escape them, but as you continue to journey with them, you find yourself wondering if you even want to.

Pairings: Ateez x Reader (Kim Hongjoong x Reader)

Content Warnings: Mentions of death and sexual implications throughout the fic, nothing ever specified in detail

Previous / Masterlist / Next

A/N: Y'all ever just spend all night writing 23 pages of a chapter because you got possessed by the god of writing suddenly???? yeah that was me with this chapter bc HOOOOLYYY SHIT she's a long one! Not that I'm sure anyone will complain with that but like damn i really did go off here. Chapter warnings though: this does contain child abuse (though I don't think it's incredibly descriptive??? i tried my best) as well as uh smth near the end that i think y'all will like (eye emojis bc i'm on laptop) I hope you guys enjoy this EXTREMELY long chapter !!! i'm about to go pass out lmao

It wasn’t hard to corner Seonghwa; thanks to him spending a lot of time in the kitchen, it was easy to catch him during a time no one else was likely to interrupt. You casually strolled in, trying not to make it seem obvious that you were there for a reason.

“Hello, Seonghwa,” You greeted, “Are you busy?”

“Not terribly, just preparing dinner for later,” He replied, not looking at you, “I would like some help, however, if you’re willing.”

“No problem,” You jumped up, “What do you need?”

“Make sure these vegetables are cut up properly,” He instructed, handing you a kitchen knife, “It’s no dagger, but I don’t think I need to doubt your skills with a blade, now do I?”

You confirmed, “Jongho’s mother showed me what to do when we first went to his home, remember? I can handle this.” You began to chop the vegetables, letting a moment pass before you spoke up again. “Seonghwa?”

“Yes?” He answered absentmindedly, clearly focused on cooking.

“I couldn’t help but notice… Every time that Hongjoong brings up the possibility of seeing your families, you act differently. You and Yunho both, truly.” He froze in place at your words. “And I remember before, you told me it’d been six years since you’d last seen your family. I didn’t want to ask more at the time, because I was still new to the crew and didn’t want to pry, but I hope by now I’ve earned enough trust to be able to ask, Seonghwa.”

“It’s not a matter of trust,” He sighed, leaning forward onto the counter, “I don’t like to talk about it. It isn’t important, anyway.”

“Of course it’s important, it’s about you,” You replied, looking at him, “And I’d say it’s only fair, considering you know everything about my family. If you really don’t want me to know, then I’ll stop asking, but I think it might benefit the both of us if you still get upset over it.”

He was silent for a moment, thinking over your words, before sighing again, “I know by now you know the common theme amongst everyone in the crew, correct?”

“Yeah, that Hongjoong saved you all in some way,” You instantly responded, “It applies to me, too.”

“Well, I was the very first person he saved,” He began, “I was his first crewmate. He met me right as he’d stolen The Utopia from it’s former owner.”

“That recently?!” You were shocked, “That means you’ve known him since before he was the Pirate King!”

“Yes, Yunho and Mingi, as well,” Seonghwa nodded, “But I won’t go too deeply into that. You see, before I was a pirate, I was just a sailor, I’d go out sailing for food to help feed my family, my parents and little brother. But one day, a storm came with no warning, and we weren’t prepared. I was the only survivor of that crew.”

“Oh my god,” You almost whispered, “How did you survive?”

“To this day, I’m not sure,” Seonghwa admitted, “It was almost like I was meant to survive, like I wasn’t supposed to die there. Maybe one of Maddox’s tricks, now that I think about it, but who could tell for sure? The point is, I was alive, but still adrift in the middle of the ocean. I thought that if the storm didn’t kill me, surely the hunger or dehydration would. But that’s when Hongjoong came, barely managing the ship all on his own. He noticed me sailing on my own and brought me aboard, giving me something to eat and drink while he was at it.”

“That sounds like Hongjoong,” You smiled fondly, thinking of your captain.

Seonghwa matched your smile, “Yes, and I was so thankful. I felt as though I owed my life to him, and after finding out that he was in need of crewmates, I quickly volunteered to join. He was surprised, but not exactly in a position to turn it down. And thus, I became his quartermaster.”

You tilted your head slightly, “But, what about your family? What happened to them?”

“What, indeed,” He sighed, “I know you’re no stranger to how pirates are considered by the general public. I couldn’t go back as a pirate, what if they’d shame me or want no part of me anymore? Who could blame them if they did? I thought it better to just let them think I was dead, then they wouldn’t feel the shame of having a pirate as a son. But, even now…”

“You feel guilty over it,” You finished, catching on to what he was about to say, “Seonghwa, I really don’t think you need to worry. While, yes, maybe at the time they might’ve had a bad reaction, by now I’m sure they’d just be glad to know you’re alive, pirate or not. Maybe it’s time you finally saw them again, let them know you’re still here and thinking about them.”

“I can’t,” He shook his head, “At least, not now. I’m not ready to face them yet. Besides, with the war looming over our heads, there’s no guarantee I’d even survive, and how cruel would it be to show up in front of them only to die, this time genuinely? It’d be too much, for both me and them.”

“I understand,” You nodded gently, holding onto both of his hands, “I won’t tell you that we’ll definitely make it out of this, because I don’t know for sure, and we could all die in this war. But, I want you to promise me that if you make it out of the war alive, you’ll go find your family. They need the closure, and quite frankly, you need it, too. Can you do that for me, Seonghwa?”

“I… I’ll try,” Seonghwa hesitantly stated, “But I can’t promise anything. Let’s focus on winning this war first, shall we? Then we’ll see about me finding my family.”

“That’s good enough for me,” You grinned at him, “Now, do you still need help with dinner, or can you handle it by yourself?”

“I can take it from here, (Y/N),” He chuckled, almost as if he were amused. As you turned to leave the kitchen, you could hear him call after you, “(Y/N?)”

“Yes?” You turned to face him again.

He gave you a sincere smile, “Thank you. For listening.”

“It’s no problem,” You returned the smile with one of your own, “After all, what are friends for?”

Later, as you searched the ship for Yunho, you ran into someone near the bow of the ship. Looking up, you quickly saw that it was Eden.

“I’m so sorry, Captain Eden,” You quickly apologized, “I was looking for Yunho and wasn’t aware of my surroundings.”

“It’s fine,” The older man waved off, an almost disinterested look upon his face, “I was actually meaning to speak with you myself, Your Highness, without Hongjoong keeping watch over you. I had something to ask you.”

“Please, don’t call me by any titles, as I already said I have none,” You reminded, “But alright, what do you need?”

“How come you haven’t left the crew yet?” With that question, the mood changed so suddenly that you could hear a pin drop.

Unsure of what his meaning behind this question was, you hesitantly replied while trying to maintain a friendly air, “I’m sorry, I’m afraid I don’t-!”

“I mean to say, how come you haven’t left the crew and freed them of this war yet?” Eden cut you off, doubling down on his question, “You know there’s no possible way for a ragtag group of pirates to win against the Royal Navy, why not just give yourself up and spare their lives?”

Dropping the friendly air, you narrowed your eyes and frowned at him, “And where exactly do you come off speaking like that when, quite frankly, it’s none of your business?”

“You asked for my help and my charge is your captain, so, quite frankly, it is my business,” He replied, matching the hostile air, “I agreed to help for his sake, not yours. You’ve given me no reason to believe you’re not a detriment to this crew.”

“Maddox said-!” You started, but were once again cut off.

Eden scoffed, “Maddox? You mean the madman down at Tortuga who you all now claim to be the ocean? Do you really expect me to believe that?”

“You said to Hongjoong earlier that you believed him because he knew better than to lie to you,” You argued, becoming increasingly more annoyed with Eden’s attitude the more he spoke.

“I did, yes, and I did believe him. I believe that he believes it, not that it actually happened. How you convinced him of such magic, I’m not sure, but I don’t care,” He responded, “I want you to leave Hongjoong and this crew, forever. They’re all too caught up in their love for you to realize that you’re leading them to their deaths, but if you truly care for them as much as you say you do, then you’ll go back home to your castle and call off this war.”

“How fucking dare you talk to me like that?” You stepped forward, enraged as you leaned in close to his face, “I may not have titles any longer, but I won’t be talked to in such a matter. Who exactly do you think you are to be giving me such an order?”

“Your captain’s captain, if you’ve already forgotten,” He returned your glare with one of his own.

You let out a slight scoff, “Yes, you’re his former captain, but you’re not mine. You have absolutely no authority over me, and so I don’t have to listen to a single fucking thing you have to say. I don’t care if you don’t believe me, I’ll prove it to you one way or another. Just you watch.”

“I’m telling you one last time, leave the crew and go back home, unless you want to see the crewmates you love so much die in front of your eyes,” He warned once again as you turned around, not backing down in the slightest.

Whipping around, you leaned in close once again, whispering harshly, “I’m not going anywhere, do you hear me? I made a promise to Hongjoong that I would stay on this ship, that I would never leave, and my promise to him means more to me than any authority you have over him!” Having finally had enough, you pushed past him, still fuming at how much he’d riled you up. Now you definitely needed to find Yunho, he always knew just how to calm you down.

Eden gave a small smirk as he watched the girl storm away, practically seeing the steam run out of her ears at how angry he’d gotten her.

Making his way over to Hongjoong’s quarters, he took a seat across the younger captain, “Well, she’s definitely a feisty one, that’s for certain.”

Hongjoong groaned, putting his quill down so he could put his head in his hands, “Don’t tell me you gave her one of your ‘tests’...”

“I had to make sure she was ready to fight alongside you all,” Eden replied, his tone almost innocent, “This is her family we’re going against after all, we can’t afford for her to pull any punches.”

“Yes, well, now I’m afraid she may end up punching you before anyone else, the way you do things,” Hongjoong sighed, leaning back in his chair, “So, what then? Did she meet your standards?”

“I think had we gotten anyone else we’d be in trouble,” Eden answered, not looking at his former student, “Despite her royal upbringing, she’s a perfect fit amongst you all. I guess you could call that irony, you being the Pirate King, and all.”

“Yeah, she was always a perfect fit, even if things started out rocky at first,” Hongjoong smiled softly, thinking of the girl that had taken his heart.

Eden didn’t miss the look on his face, speaking up, “I know you, Hongjoong, I know that look. And even if I didn’t, I could see it the minute I saw you with her. You’ve fallen for her, haven’t you?”

“Deeply,” Hongjoong admitted, not wanting to even try to argue it, “Like you wouldn’t believe. I’ve had… infatuations before-!”

“You’re telling me,” Eden scoffed, remembering some of the antics Hongjoong had gotten up to as a young teenager.

“But,” Hongjoong continued, giving a glare to his teacher, “It was never anything as… intense, as this. It’s almost indescribable, just every inch of my being wants to be near her. It was hell when she let herself get captured, Eden, pure hell. I barely know how to contain myself.”

“If you feel this strongly about her, you should tell her,” Eden advised, “It won’t do any good to just sit around on your feelings, letting them build up until they put you at a disadvantage. It’d be best to tell her the next time you see her.”

“We’re about to go to war, Eden,” Hongjoong sighed, “One or both of us very well could die, and then where would that leave us? What would be the point of confessing if we may not even live to see a future together?”

“Alright then, let’s think about it, shall we?” Eden humored his student, “Let’s go through the different scenarios. Number One, you live and she dies.” Just the mere thought of it caused Hongjoong to tighten his fists; he absolutely could not let that happen. “Now, would you want her to have died never knowing of your feelings, and have yourself live on knowing she never knew? Or would you at least want her to know before she passed, know that there was someone on Earth that loved her deeply?”

Hongjoong was silent, not knowing how to respond.

“Number Two,” Eden continued, “You die and she lives. Would you want her to live with the regret that you died for her, but never knowing why outside of you being her captain? Would you want her to live with that guilt?”

“No,” Hongjoong spoke softly, staring at the desk in front of him.

“Number Three, you both live. Then you can both live on happily as whatever you want, whether it be a pirate and his crewmate or as two civilians settling down in a town somewhere. It seems that there’s a pretty clear answer to me,” Eden concluded.

“You left one out,” Hongjoong pointed out, “We could both die. Then what?”

“What does it matter then, Hongjoong? You’re just trying to give yourself reasons not to tell her about how you feel,” Eden argued, “Besides, if you tell her now, at least you can say you had some time together, even if it was short. Some time is better than none at all, you’ll do well to remember that. You need to tell her, Hongjoong, before it’s too late.”

Hongjoong was silent for a moment before he sighed, “I’ll think about it. Besides, I don’t even know if she feels the same way.”

“She definitely feels the same way, she was damn near ready to kill me when I told her to leave you and the ship,” Eden scoffed.

“Right, well-!” Hongjoong continued the work he was doing, then paused, “Wait, you did what?”

You were still steaming with anger as you tried to find Yunho, almost missing the blue haired boy as he ran into you as well.

“Hey, watch it there,” He chuckled, clearly not upset until he saw that you were, “What’s wrong? Did Wooyoung call you princess again?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s that I can’t believe that Hongjoong was raised by such a rude, no-good, infuriating bilgerat of a man,” You ranted, anger still clouding your head.

“Okay, let’s calm down a bit before he hears you, I doubt that’ll make the situation better,” Yunho grabbed onto your shoulders and tried to calm you down, “Let’s go to the railing and talk, alright? Like how we used to back when you first came on board.”

“Alright,” You nodded, taking deep breaths to calm down, “Let’s go.” Once you were at the railing where you liked to watch over the ocean, you informed Yunho of your altercation with Eden, relaying every detail.

“Ah, it seems you’ve been given one of Eden’s ‘tests’,” Yunho chuckled, understanding the situation now, “Don’t take it to heart, he likely meant none of it. It’s just what he does to every new crew member, to make sure Hongjoong isn’t surrounded by anyone who’ll hurt him. It’s like you said, the man’s like his father, and he wants what’s best for him, even if neither of them will admit it. He can take it a bit far though, damn near almost got killed by San for doing the same thing.”

“I think I’ve had quite enough of people giving me tests,” You grumbled, thinking of when Maddox had sent the storm to test your willpower on your first voyage to Elysia.

“Yeah, I don’t blame you!” Yunho laughed, “But like I said, he meant none of it. If anything, he probably respects you more now due to your response. You put Hongjoong before him, which is what every crew member should do for their captain. For once, your temper actually worked in your favor.”

“Oh, shut up,” You stuck your tongue out at him playfully before you both burst into laughter at your antics. It was silent between you two, before you spoke up again, “You know, this is a lot like before, you and me at this railing while you tried to calm me down. I didn’t trust anyone back then, but now I trust you all with my life, isn’t it funny how things turn out?”

“Yeah, I remember,” Yunho smiled, gazing out into the ocean, “Nearly thought you’d and Yeosang would end up killing each other, the way you two fought. Now here you both are, ready to fight side by side. I’m almost proud.”

“I have something to admit,” You started, “Nothing bad, but when we last saw Maddox, he gave me a mission of sorts. He told me to get close to every crew member, to find out everything I could about them, to strengthen our bonds, I assume. If I’m being honest, I’d almost forgotten about it because it seemed to happen naturally, but there’s one more person I still don’t know a lot about, and that’s you, Yunho. And, I figured, you were the first person on this ship that I began to trust, so how fitting is it that you’re the last person that trusts in me?”

“If I’m being honest, I kinda figured that’s what you were doing,” Yunho admitted, “And, well, I suppose it was going to happen sooner or later that I’d tell you my past. I don’t mind telling you, but I’m afraid it’s quite bittersweet. Not tragic, like Mingi’s, San’s, Yeosang’s, and Wooyoung’s, or complicated as Seonghwa’s. Just… bittersweet.”

“I’m listening,” You encouraged, holding onto his hand.

“I used to live in a small town, way far away from here, clearly, with my father and younger brother,” Yunho began, “My mother died when my brother was very young and I’m sorry to say he went not too long after. I was fairly young myself, so it didn’t really impact me as much as it would now, but it changed something within my father. He became increasingly overprotective, to the point where I was essentially being kept captive in my own home. I wasn’t allowed to go out, and anytime I tried I’d get yelled at. I’m sure you can relate to that feeling.” He looked at you, the smile on his face not matching his words. You merely nodded, allowing him to continue.

“However, try as he might, he couldn’t stop me from looking out my window at night and seeing the stars, all sparkling and beautiful. Sometimes, if I was lucky, I’d sneak outside my home through the window and climb up onto the roof to be able to get a better look. I guess if you wanted to be poetic about it, you could say the stars were my first love,” Yunho had a fond look on his face as he told the story, “And so, from the minute I learned to read, I spent all my time learning about the stars and anything that comes with it. That’s how I learned to be a navigator; my love for the stars was the very thing that gave me my role on this ship. And that’s where Hongjoong comes in.”

“Hongjoong and Seonghwa had just made it to shore when I saw them; my former home was by the ocean,” Yunho continued, “They’d just met themselves, I believe, as I remember them telling me that Seonghwa had just become Hongjoong’s first crewmember. They’d stayed in town for a few days before they spotted me, looking at them through the window. I still don’t know what possessed Hongjoong to try to talk to me, but he walked right up to the window and introduced himself, Seonghwa trailing behind him, trying to stop him. I was surprised they’d even bothered, but I was overjoyed, as well. They were the first people beside my father who’d actually talked to me. I told them about myself, and why I was stuck inside, and you wouldn’t believe how angry Hongjoong got, him and Seonghwa both. They both promised that they’d find a way to bust me out, and that I could go with them as a pirate as their third member. Well, it didn’t take much to convince me, that’s for sure. I agreed instantly, and they set their plan for that night.”

“Once it was dark, Seonghwa caused a distraction, luring my father outside and away from the house, while Hongjoong snuck in and helped me carry whatever I needed out to the ship. Once we made it out, Hongjoong gave some sort of signal to Seonghwa to let him know that we were in the clear, and Seonghwa snuck away from my father. By the time he made it back home, I was already on the ship. I never knew what he did when he realized I was gone, or even what became of him. I joined the crew as their navigator and never looked back since,” Yunho concluded, “I don’t really feel bad about it, because I know I’m a lot better off than I would’ve been back there, but at the same time, I feel for the poor man, you know? His wife and child die, and his only remaining son runs off, never to be seen again. If I didn’t remember how bad it was, I might’ve been inclined to return, but as it stands, I don’t really ever want to see him again. I’m happy now, I don’t really need any sort of closure, not any he could give me anyway.”

You nodded for a second, understanding, “We’re a lot more alike than I thought, our stories are so similar. Now I understand what you meant when you said that you know how I felt back when we first talked.”

“It takes one to know one,” He agreed, still looking off into the ocean, “Though, I will say, it is nice to finally let it off my chest again. The crew knows, of course, but… I suppose it takes someone who knows exactly what it’s like to be locked away from the world to fully understand the weight of it. I’m glad you were the one I could properly talk about it with.”

“It’s no problem,” You smiled at him, giving him a slight nudge, “Consider it returning the favor for listening to me talk back then. Now we’re even.”

“Now we’re even,” He nodded, smiling himself, “Now, let’s go join the rest of the crew, shall we? I suppose by now Hongjoong will have found out what Eden said and demand he give you an apology, so let’s see how the rest of the crews make fun of him this time.”

The rest of the trip to Eysia was calm, unlike the first time when Maddox had created that storm to test you. This time, there were no tests, only calm waters as you reached the island.

“The water is calmer than usual,” You pointed out, “Almost as if it’s expecting us.”

“You think Maddox knows we’re coming to see him?” Wooyoung asked, looking out into the water.

Yeosang replied, “It’d be a shock if he doesn’t, he seems to know everything, doesn’t he?”

“Well, he is the ocean,” You shrugged, “He probably hears us talking right now. I guess we’ll know for sure in a bit. We’re reaching land.”

“I still can’t believe there was such an opening amongst those rocks,” Eden frowned, but not in contempt, but rather confusion, “How’d you manage to spot it the first time?”

“That would be thanks to (Y/N),” Hongjoong came up, a proud smile on his face, “She’s got an amazing eye, she’s the best lookout we could’ve asked for.” Flustered at the praise, you looked down and smiled, not meeting Hongjoong’s eyes. “Now, are we ready? We’re heading to shore now. Who’s coming? I know (Y/N) is joining.”

“Captain, do you even need to ask? Of course the whole crew is coming,” San sighed exaggeratedly, as if he was tired of Hongjoong not knowing what to expect from them.

“Yeah, I just hope that we actually get to go in the cool looking cave this time and not be forced to wait while (Y/N) goes in alone again,” Wooyoung added, pouting at the memory of the last time the crew was at Elysia.

“I’ll be going as well, as Captain of my own crew,” Eden told Hongjoong, turning to look at him, “I’ll need to meet him for myself if we’re truly to get help from him.”

“Understood,” Hongjoong nodded, “Let’s go, then.” Once you made it off the ship onto dry land, you were met with a familiar face.

“Welcome back,” Elysian greeted, a genuine smile on his face, “It’s nice to see you again. And welcome to you, Eden. It’s nice to meet you for the first time.”

“Right, you as well,” He answered somewhat awkwardly, “I’m guessing you’re the Elysian they’ve told me about, then.”

“That’s correct. Like what Maddox is to the ocean, I am to this island, thanks to (Y/N),” He shot you a grateful smile, “Now, I understand you all find yourselves in a tricky situation. Maddox is expecting you all.”

“Yes!” You could hear Wooyoung softly cheer to himself.

“Lead the way,” Hongjoong said, ignoring Wooyoung’s little outburst. It didn’t take long until you were back in the cove from before, where you last met with Maddox, this time surrounded by the crew you’ve come to love.

Said man smiled at you, having been waiting, “Hello, again, (Y/N). It’s been quite some time.”

“But not for you, has it?” You guessed, “You’ve been seeing everything we’ve gone through since we left, haven’t you?”

“That’s correct,” He nodded, the smile on his face not fading.

“Damn lot of good you were, we could’ve used your help during some of the things we went through,” Mingi scoffed.

“We could use your help now,” Hongjoong added on, looking at him with a determined look.

“I could not and cannot be involved,” Maddox answered, “If I were to, I’d be disrupting things too much and fate would be changed. Things must follow a certain path, and I must remain impartial as the deity of the ocean. In some small cases, I can alter things to fit fate’s path, but anything of this magnitude I must stay out of.”

“So, you’re essentially saying you’re useless,” Eden spoke dryly, arms crossed as he looked annoyed.

“Not necessarily,” Maddox contested, “(Y/N), Hongjoong, could you two please step forward?” Looking at each other, the two of you did what he said. “(Y/N), I promised you that the next time we met, I’d tell you everything about how the two of you met before and how neither remember. It’s time I keep that promise.”

“We already have a suspicion,” Hongjoong spoke, “A dream I had, we think it’s a memory of our first meeting.”

“You’d be right,” Maddox nodded, “But it’s not the full story. The truth is, I was the one who wiped both of your memories.”

“You what?” The both of you spoke at once, shocked at the information he’d just given you.

“The two of you met before you were ever supposed to,” Maddox began to elaborate, “Sometimes, things like that happen naturally, which is why it’s my job to fix them so fate doesn’t end up changing. I had to wipe your memories of each other to make sure that when you met again, you’d be complete strangers.”

“Well, can you give us those memories back?” You asked, “Or, at least tell us what happened?”

“I can,” He confirmed, “It won’t hurt fate for you to know now that you’ve met and grown close as intended. If you both wish it, I can return your memories back right now.”

You looked to Hongjoong, who nodded, “Do it. I need, no, we need to know.”

“Very well, then.” Maddox spoke, “Then, I’ll need you both to close your eyes, and think back to when you were children…”

“(Y/N), are you sure we should’ve snuck away from the guards?” Your brother asked you worriedly, “I mean, they were given to us for a reason!”

“Oh, relax!” You laughed, practically skipping in the town square, “We’re the prince and princess, we should know about how our kingdom works, and what better way to learn than to see it firsthand? Come on, this helps you more than me, you’re the one who’s going to be king after all!”

“Hey,” He stopped you, grabbing onto your shoulder so you could face him, “I know Mother and Father remind you of that all the time, but you don’t need to remind me. Once I’m king, I’ll make sure you have some sort of power, not be some bride they think they can marry off.”

Smiling, you took his hand, “Well, that’s very sweet of you, but we’re here to have fun, not talk about what kind of king you’ll be. Now, come on, let’s go see what’s out there!” You led your brother away, running down the streets as you both laughed and giggled. You were twelve years old, and your brother fourteen, and it felt like the world was before you as you both took in the sights and sounds of the town. It wasn’t as grand as you were expecting, but it was something different than the castle walls, and that alone was enough to get you excited. However, it wasn’t long before that excitement came crashing down.

There was a crowd gathering in the street, and you could hear someone’s cries in the middle of it, it sounded like a young boy’s. Making your way through the crowd, you pushed your way up front where you could finally see what was happening; a young boy around your age with light red hair was getting whipped and kicked around by people much older and heavier than him, and everyone only seemed to be watching. He was covered in blood and mud, and you could see scars littering his body which told you that this wasn’t the first time this had occurred.

You whispered to your brother, who had caught up to you, “What’s going on? What are those men doing to him?”

“Those are slave traders,” He whispered back, “I didn’t know there were any in this kingdom, they sell people off and treat them terribly. Looks like that one got him mad about something, he’s giving him a real beating…” In horror, all you could do was watch as one of the older men kicked the boy again, causing him to spit out blood upon impact.

“How come everyone’s just watching, why don’t they do anything?” You hissed, growing increasingly angry at all the people just standing idly by.

“Look at him, what do you expect them to do? They can’t just take him in a fight, and I’m sure he’s probably got some dirt on all of them to keep them quiet. All they can do is watch.” At this, another blow was dealt, and you’d finally had enough.

“Well, I can’t watch this! Come on!” Without thinking, you quickly rushed towards the boy and grabbed his hand, ignoring your brother’s instant cry of your name. “Come on, get up!” You rushed, taking advantage of the fact the slave traders seemed so shocked, he’d frozen in place. Quickly as he can, the boy rose to his feet, and at an instant you were off, holding onto the boy’s hand as you took off running, your brother quickly following.

“Quickly, follow me!” You urged, knowing you were likely to be chased, “We can’t let them catch us!”

“(Y/N), you’re going to get us in trouble!” You brother hissed out, managing to keep up with your pace, “What are you thinking?!”

“Run now, talk later!” You answered, continuing to run.

Your brother admonished, “Do you know what you’ve just caused?!”

“How was I supposed to just leave him there, he’s all bloody!” You argued, gesturing to the boy, who’d remained quiet, confused on what was happening, “They would’ve beaten him until he died! He’s not that much younger than you, you know!”

“I-!” Realizing you were right, your brother sighed, “Alright, fine! But when Mother and Father find out, it’ll be on your head!”

“That’s fine with me, now let’s go!” Quickly, the three of you found a small alley to hide in for the time being. It was then you turned to smile at the boy, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you make it somewhere safe, alright? Just trust me. What’s your name?”

You could see that he was still slightly hesitant, but he spoke in a soft voice, “...My name is Hongjoong. Kim Hongjoong.”

“I’m (Y/N), and this worrywart is my brother (B/N)!” You introduced yourself and your brother, continuing to try to make the boy more comfortable with the two of you.

“You mean… the prince and princess of the kingdom?!” The boy’s, Hongjoong’s, eyes widened as he realized who he was in the company of.

“That’s right! Which means you’re the safest with us!” You grinned, “Hey, how old are you, anyway? You look pretty young to me…”

“I’m… twelve years old… I think…” He trailed off, not knowing for sure what his actual age was since he never knew his parents.

Your grin widened, “Hey, that means you’re the same age as me! That’s amazing!”

“(Y/N), we need to know what to do with him before the slave traders come and find us,” Your brother reminded you, “We need to think, fast.”

“Well, can’t he just stay with us in the castle?” You frowned, not wanting to part with your new friend, “That way he won’t go back to being a slave!”

“Look at him, do you really think Mother and Father would agree to letting him stay in the castle?” You pouted, but as much as you hated to admit it, your brother had a point. With how grimy and bloody Hongjoong was, there was no way your parents wouldn’t turn him away at an instant. Just as you were about to speak up again, you could hear the slave traders beginning to catch up.

“Quick, no time to talk, let’s go!” You grabbed onto Hongjoong’s hand again and ran, your brother following close behind. You made it to the docks, where you could see a ship loading it’s cargo and saw an opportunity. “Hongjoong, go on that boat! Hide in a barrel or something, but make sure you get on that ship, alright? It’s your best chance to escape!”

“But, what about you two?” Hongjoong asked, uncertain about the situation, “What will you do?”

“Don’t worry about us, we have guards looking for us,” You assured, “We’ll be fine, just have to deal with a bigger punishment from our mother than usual, is all. You’re what matters here, Hongjoong, if you don’t go now, you might not have another chance! Now go!”

He made his way to sneak onto the ship, but turned back to face you again, “Will we meet again?”

You smiled, glad to know he wanted to see you again, “I’m sure that someday, we will. Now, go on then! Be free!” He nodded quickly, giving you a smile in thanks, before he rushed out into the cargo hold and hid from view. Just then, you heard the slave traders catch up behind you, clearly out of breath.

“There they are!” One called out, “Where’s the merchandise?”

“You’re too late!” You provoked, “He’s long gone from here. Now you can’t ever hurt him ever again!”

“Why you rotten little…” The man tried to march towards you, but stopped at your brother’s words.

“Ah, ah, you wouldn’t want to hurt the prince and princess of the kingdom, would you? Especially not with the guards right behind you?” Turning around, the slave traders did indeed find the guards that were looking for you both behind them, looking none too pleased at the situation they were looking at.

The wind blew as you grinned. It seemed like karma really did exist after all. But oddly enough, it seemed like you were already forgetting what you were so happy about…

Your mother slapped you across the face, the impact making you land heavily on the tiled ground. You didn’t look up, refusing to meet your eyes as you touched your stinging cheek, your brother standing right behind you.

“Do you have any idea what you’ve done?! Not only did you sneak away from your guards, you caused a scene in the middle of the square, right in front of everyone, and even dragged your poor brother into it with you! Do you know how much shame this brings both us and him?! You stupid, stupid child!” Your mother continued to yell, hurling insults as you stayed on the floor.

“I just…” You spoke softly, trying to remember what you had done in the first place.

“Just what? What explanation could you possibly have?!”

“I-I don’t remember.” You looked away again, knowing you just made things worse.

Your mother scoffed, “You don’t remember? How could you not remember what just happened today? Horrible child, and it’s a question of why (B/N) will be the one in charge?”

“Well, then tell me!” You raised your voice unexpectedly, “Tell me what it was that was so terrible, that it makes me a horrible child!”

“I- Well-!” It was clear that your mother either wasn’t expecting that response, but it only infuriated her more, “Idiotic girl, you should know what it was! I shouldn’t have to tell you of your own wrongdoings!” It was clear that she didn’t know either, but you didn’t notice at the time.

“Why not, it’s never stopped you before!” You fought back, clearly having had enough of this treatment.

“Enough!” Your father spoke up, having watched the whole ordeal, “(Y/N), you’re not to step foot outside of these castle walls, do you understand me? Clearly you’ve proven that you can’t be trusted to go out, not even with your brother.”

“What?! But what about (B/N)?! He joined me, too!”

“(B/N) is going to be king someday, he needs to be out in the town for the people to know and trust him.”

“But that’s not fair!” You argued, close to tears at this point. “You always treat him better than me! We’re both just as guilty of the same thing!”

“That’s enough, (Y/N)! My word is final!” Your father shouted, “Now, go to your room while your mother and I think of a proper punishment for (B/N).” Tears welling up in your eyes, you quickly ran back to your room, slamming the doors behind you and not letting anyone else inside as you cried.

Meanwhile, with Hongjoong, he now stood in front of Eden, who had found him stowing away in the cargo hold, and was now staring down in front of him with a cold look.

“Now, let me get this straight,” The older man spoke slowly, “You are a former slave, who managed to find the courage to escape his tormentors, and stowed away on this ship to find freedom? Did you just plan on us never finding out?”

“I… admit I wasn’t thinking much at the time…” Hongjoong answered softly, keeping his head down. In truth, he couldn’t quite remember what had happened or what he’d been thinking, but that was the best explanation that he could come up with.

“No, clearly not,” Eden drawled, “And what were you planning to do once we reached land? You really did not think anything through, did you?”

Hongjoong stayed silent, knowing he was right.

Eden stared at the boy, thinking, before he sighed, “As much as my entire being hates to admit this, I must say you do have courage if your story is true. And I can’t in good conscience let you out on your own when you don’t have a clue on how the world works, especially not with you being so young. So, I propose this: you become one of my pirate’s crew, and you’ll have food, drink, and safety for as long as you stay. If you choose to leave later, that’s fine, but for now, I’d say it’s in your best interest to agree. So?”

Hongjoong didn’t even need to think twice about it, looking Eden directly in the eyes, “I’ll do it. I’ll become a pirate.”

“Very well,” Eden nodded, “I’ll teach you everything you need to know myself, but it won’t be easy, got it? If you’re going to stay on this ship, you’re going to pull your weight, understand me?”

“Yes, sir!” Hongjoong instantly replied.

“Good, then from now on, I am your captain, and you will refer to me as such,” Eden declared, “Welcome to the crew, Kim Hongjoong.”

Opening your eyes, you were shocked as you saw Maddox in front of you again. Looking around to regain your bearings, you could see the rest of the crew and Eden, watching you both with rapt attention. You turned to Hongjoong to see him in much the same state you were, shocked and dazed.

“That was…” You trailed off, not sure where to start.

“The two of you were always destined to meet, but that would’ve been too soon,” Maddox explained, “Had I not intervened, things could’ve turned out for the worst. But, I knew that one day the two of you would meet again, so I took your memories so I could return them now, in this moment.”

“I…” Hongjoong still seemed a bit dazed, but he quickly shook it off, “We can’t focus on that right now. Maddox, we’re about to go to war, and we need some help. Are you sure there isn’t any way for you to help us?”

“I cannot,” Maddox confirmed, “But there is someone who can.” He turned his head to Elysian, who seemed confused.

“Me?” He questioned, “Why me?”

“I created Elysian, which means he has abilities similar to my own, albeit weaker, and can travel away from the island. Furthermore, due to him being my creation, he has no obligation to keep fate in line, nor does he know what will happen unless I tell him, so he’s the perfect person to bring along with you. I can’t say that you’ll win, but I can say that he’ll be a big help,” Maddox explained.

You walked up to Elysian, “Will you help? We need every person we can get right now.”

He smiled gently at you, “It’s because of you I was given a name and given a purpose. Of course I’ll help you in your time of need. It’s not even a question.”

“Thank you,” You sighed with relief, “And thank you, Maddox, for showing us the truth. Even if I’m not fond of the fact you stole our memories in the first place, I at least understand why.”

“Thank you for that, at least,” He responded, “I wish you all the best of luck. May we meet again soon.”

It was late at night as you were on the deck, practicing your sword training. You figured that with a war on the horizon, it was best to make sure you brushed up on all your skills, even the weaker ones. You were sure you were alone, until you heard a familiar voice come from behind you.

“How is it that you’re never asleep when you’re supposed to be?” Hongjoong smiled at you, watching you practice.

You stopped and laughed, answering, “I could say the same thing to you, captain. What do you need?”

He was silent for a minute before he spoke up, “Care to talk a walk around the ship with me? I find there’s a lot on my mind… A lot I need to get out.”

“Of course, no problem,” You replied, sheathing your sword, “Let’s go.” The two of you walked slowly, silence filling the air aside from the waves hitting the hull of the ship.

Finally, Hongjoong spoke up, “That… was a lot we learned today, wasn’t it?”

“It was,” You agreed, “But it was as we expected. I helped you escape onto Eden’s ship.”

“(Y/N), you saved my life,” Hongjoong spoke blatantly, but with clear emotion, “I surely would’ve been killed had you not interfered. I know Maddox says we were never meant to have met there, but now that I know, I can’t imagine things having turned out another way. I owe my life to you.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Hongjoong,” You shook your head, “You saved my life back at that auction, as far as I’m concerned, we’re even. You don’t need to give me anything, least of all your life.”

“What if I want to give you something else?” Hongjoong asked, “Not my life, but something close to it?”

“Like what?” You asked, confused as to where he was headed.

“Like my heart.” At those words, you stopped in place and looked at him, seemingly paralyzed at what he just told you.

It felt like time froze still for a moment before you could finally find your voice and say, “What?”

“(Y/N), I don’t think I need to tell you that you’ve become very important to me in the time that you’ve been on this ship,” Hongjoong began, “Of course, all my crew members are important to me, but with you, it’s beyond that. For a long while now, you’ve been the most important person in my life, and now with my memories returned to me… It’s clear. You were always the most important person in my life, you who saved my life, it has always been you. From the moment we first met eyes at the auction, to when we finally faced Elias Sweet and dealt with him for good, to even just recently with Reeves, you were the person I was fighting for the most. I fell in love with you, so deeply, and I can’t afford to hide it any longer.”

“I- But why now?” You asked, trying to regain your bearings, “We’re about to go to war, why would you tell me this now?!”

“Because, if there’s anything those memories taught me, it’s that we are meant to be together,” Hongjoong affirmed, taking your hands in his, “There’s no logical reason to believe that we would’ve met ever again after I got on that ship, but here we are now. There were so many times where things could’ve gone wrong, but they didn’t. Maybe it was Maddox’s doing, maybe it was fate, I don’t care, because I know now that we can make it through this. We’ll survive this war, because the two of us are together, and once we’re together, we can do anything. I believe in us, do you?” By now, you were crying due to the overwhelming emotions.

“Of course I do!” You cried out, holding onto Hongjoong’s hands tightly, “Hongjoong, I love you so much! I just- I just!” You didn’t know what else to say, and good thing too, because Hongjoong took that moment to grab your face with one hand and kiss you deeply, the other hand trailing behind your back to pull you closer. You kissed him back with the same intensity, your arms wrapping around his neck as you pressed your bodies together. The two of you broke apart for air only to kiss again, and again as they only grew more passionate.

Eventually, Hongjoong rested his forehead on yours, whispering, “Stay with me tonight, in my quarters. Please.” You could tell what he meant by that request in his eyes, and you felt your body grow hotter at the thought.

Even so, you still nodded and agreed, whispering back, “I will.” Not wasting a single second, he picked you up in his arms and carried you to his quarters, kicking the door closed behind him.

What happened the rest of that night was between you and him.

#ateez fanfic #ateez fanfiction #ateez imagines #ateez pirate au #ateez scenarios #hongjoong fanfic #seonghwa fanfic #yunho fanfic #yeosang fanfic #san fanfic #mingi fanfic #wooyoung fanfic #jongho fanfic

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perriewinklenerdie · 3 years

Text

Pit in his stomach (MO, 3/17, Ethan x MC)

Missed Opportunities Series, Chapter 3

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x Claire Herondale

Word count: 706

Summary: All the times when Ethan could have told Claire he loved her but didn’t, and one time he did. Told through Ethan’s eyes.

Warnings: None for now

A/N: There are many things Ethan knows. Like the fact that his partner is brilliant. Or the fact that he loves her. There are also things he didn’t know. Like the reason for Claire’s subdued attitude.

He closed the file, willing himself to ignore the harsh sound of the chairs being moved against the ground. Harper left right after the meeting ended, Claire following her slowly. Ethan watched his partner closely, his eyes meeting hers when she stopped in her tracks to look at him. He could see something in her eyes – the same uncertainty he’s been seeing since their first day back. Something he couldn’t quite place but for some reason made him incredibly nervous. A pit opened in his stomach, and he couldn’t see a way of closing it. Much faster than he probably should have, he walked over to her. If she was confused, she didn’t let it show, just watched him as he reached for her hand in complete silence.

Ethan felt lost in the whole situation. He already knew that it was something he did, and since he found that out, he began observing her. Looking for any signs that would clue him into what was going on in her head. He neglected to have the conversation with her, the one he promised himself to have. As a result, the cause of her feelings still remained unknown to him. It drove him up the walls, not being able to figure out how he could remedy the situation.

Despite everything, Claire still stuck by him. She was still by his side, through thick and thin. He continued to fight with Bloom for every square inch of freedom and she remained right there, with him, even if she didn’t agree with the way he chose to go about the issue. Harper often laughed at the two of them. At how easy Claire made it seem to handle his ‘hissy fits’, as she called them. At how one touch from Claire worked like a miracle cure for his stress. At how willingly Ethan followed her lead, regardless of what it was about. How he listened to her, with respect and complete focus.

Love. It all came down to love.

His fingers laced with hers, softly, as though he was afraid of breaking them. She hummed, raising her line of sight to watch his face. Ethan observed her very closely, committing to his memory every detail of her face, like he always did when he looked at her. The gentleness of her eyes. Faint wrinkles that marked her forehead, deepening each time she worried. The soft curve of her lips that could soothe every last one of his aches and fix all his problems.

His thumb traced her palm, feeling the warmth of her skin. He could try to name all the things he felt for her and there wouldn’t be enough words in all languages combined to express it. She was becoming his everything, even if neither of them was fully aware of it yet – not even Ethan, at least not yet.

“I- “ he began, unsure where he was going with it. With the situation they were in at the moment, making a grand confession of his adoration would be foolish of him. Logically, he knew that all he had to do was ask – Claire never shied away from helping him working out all the areas he felt unsure of regarding the relationship stuff, when he asked about it.

The diagnostician in him, however, disagreed. He could diagnose some of the most complex diseases. Surely, he could diagnose his own errors. If he could avoid asking her about it and cure the pain he sometimes saw in her eyes on his own, he would. As soon as possible, he would. And more than anything, he didn’t want it to seem as though he used that four-letter word as a way to get himself out of the difficult spot he’s found himself in. When he said it, he wanted her to know for sure that he meant it, no additional motives.

So instead, he kissed her hand, his eyes glued to hers the whole time. “I’m so proud of you.” he finally finished his thought. A warm sensation bloomed in his chest when she smiled, visibly perking up and shaking her head at his cheesiness. Ethan squeezed her hand one final time, sending her on her way. “Go, be brilliant.”

Notes

Don’t ask me how the hell did he still not figure it out. He’s a dumbass and he’s about to know it (his words, not mine - and that’s a spoiler :D)

Vaccine update - my fever reached a high it didn’t see for a few years and my arm was dying. I’m better now, can’t wait for second shot.

I almost forgot to post the chapter today. I got too much into character edits for the “Herondale family+” posts that I have planned (more on that soon).

I think we have an established posting schedule now. So, chapters of this series are going to be posted on Sunday, Wednesday and Friday.

I decided to give away the name of the next chapter with each update. So, next chapter is called Thank god for the waiter.

Hope you enjoyed this part, thank you so much for reading and see you soon!

Perrie <3

#open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey x mc #playchoices

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marvelyhp · 3 years

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Still you | chapter II

Chapter II: The comeback

Synopsis: Y/n decides to help the Avengers despite their betrayal two years prior and her life makes a big shift once again.

Pairing: Y/n x Bucky Barnes and some Y/n x Sam Wilson

Word count: 5,997

warnings: cussing, some fluff

note: I know I took so long but I had writer's block. then, I got covid and I felt too awful to write. But I'm okay now so this is what I could come up with. Not my greatest stuff. the tag list is open :)

Side note: I would really appreciate hearing from you and your thoughts!

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We managed to lower two floors without raising suspicion or making too much noise. At least, James and I were pretty silent, whispering if needed. But of course, Stark always had to open his damn mouth. He had been talking all the way —pretty loudly too— and he just did it again.

“Where’s the grandpa with the bad luck of having you as a tenant?” The man didn’t know the meaning of whispering. Or maybe he did. He just wanted to make my life more complex than it was. I looked frantically behind me, praying he had not seen me sneaking out. At the sight of no one, a breath of relief exploded out of me. But it didn’t last long, irritation quickly dampening my already poor mood.

“Shut the hell up!” I hissed. My patience with the insufferable man wearing thin.

“Oh, relax. If he sees us, we’ll knock him out and blame you.” He mocked, a chuckle erupting throughout the hall and following the stairlike a draft of wind. My blood started to boil inside my veins and I felt the heat spread from head to toes. I was afraid to be reaching my tipping point already because this was nothing. Two years out of practice left me hypersensitive to his shit. I wondered how long I would be able to stand the insufferable mortal and regret hit me like a ton of bricks.

“He is a good man, Stark. We will not knock him out.” I whispered as I pressed myself against the wall. Twisting my head around the corner at the end of the hall, I sneaked a glance at the stairs and the visible space from the top. “Watch your step here. His room is right underneath the stairs. We don’t want to wake him up.

I walked forward, pressing my foot in the first step, praying the creak of the old wood would keep quiet today as it did some nights. At least that’s what I hoped but it wasn’t what happened. A groan broke the silence in the room and I knew that if he was awake, he definitely heard it. I waited a couple of seconds, alert to any noise. When nothing came, I advanced four more steps. I focused on the one shadow dancing in the wall and relief swept through me. He wasn’t awake.

I turned, thinking the guys were still up. However, I let out a gasp when Bucky’s face came into view, mere inches away from mine. Thanks to the startle, the foot I had dangerously close to the edge slipped.

My heart stopped as I thought about the fall and the inevitable bone-crushing pain that would come after it. The stairs were pretty high and even though they were wood, it was quite sharp. Splinters roamed everywhere. I waited for the pain and the strenuous sound. It was phenomenal, the first time I saw the team in two years and I would meet them in a body bag with a broken neck.

However, it never came.

When I opened my eyes, blue electric eyes stared back at me. Our faces were inches away from each other. A hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me flush against him to hold me from falling. I was hyper-aware of our breaths clashing against each other, making the most sinful of sounds. Our lips were separated by a small space, too close for my brain to catch up quickly. I noticed how his lips roamed my face, stopping at my lips slightly parted by the surprise. His eyes held a fervent fire and my breath quickened once I felt the inevitable rush of warmth roaring my body.

Coughing slightly, I took a step backward, stepping out of his grasp. I forgot all about the landlord as I scolded myself. The man looked at me and there I was getting flushed like a raging hormonal teenager. I looked at everything but Bucky’s face, why I knew still had his eyes on me except now his jaw was firmly set. I wanted to ask him what was going on inside his head but a hovering shadow at the top of the stairs captured my attention.

“What are you still doing up there?'' The man looked utterly confused standing at the top of the stairs surrounded by darkness. I wondered if it had to do with what he just witnessed.

“You care about that grandpa, don’t you?” His expression was one of disbelief. His body wasn’t moving as if in shock or trying to process the information he thought was correct. And it was, but he didn’t have to know.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, unaffected.

“Of course you do. You care about the landlord.”

I whirled around as fast as I could with the incident earlier present in my head as a gruff voice filled the room. A short, stubby old man stood at the foot of the stair dressed in a white t-shirt and some basketball shorts. The ends of his hair stood up as if held by a string and maneuvered by a child. His narrowed black eyes stared back at us. His lips pressed in a thin line.

“Of course, she does, kid. Why shouldn't she?” He crossed his arms in front of his chest. I followed the movement of the milk dancing in the glass on his right hand. I felt proud of the English I had taught him and how-- as much as I didn't want this to happen-- useful it would be. I looked back at Stark to find him gaping like a fish. Little croaks came from his throat but no coherent words came from him. It was the first time I had seen Stark speechless. “I’m an incredible landlord if I say so myself.”

He was.

I cursed inwardly. There were things I didn't want everyone to know. To a certain extent, I wasn’t ready for the team, for Stark, to find out that I wasn’t the monster he expected me to be. I wasn’t ready for him to look at me differently. Andrei had the power to change our whole dynamic.

It wasn’t that Andrei and I shared anything about life. Or at least I didn’t. Andrei liked to talk, to share his life with me, and try to make me talk. He said I was too reserved. I remember that day like it was yesterday.

It had been a warm evening. I could see the sun filtering through the windows. Shining onto the top of the show top and illuminating the cottage-like bakery. The dough in my hands stuck to my skin, lumps of a uniformed cream mass suffocating the fingers. The powdered white dust sat beside me and I felt irritated. I hadn’t thought about pouring it on the mixture before I touched it. ‘I was out of my element here’ I thought as I reached for the flour.

Andrei’s baker had abruptly called five minutes before work notifying him he couldn’t work his shift. His grandmother had fallen down the stairs and fractured her hip, hence his lack of concern for Andrei. He was the only living relative she had so it fell upon him to look after her. One missed shift would turn into dozens. The bakery was small and hidden in a remote part of Romania. The clientèle was not much besides those living in the small town from years ago, or even since they were born.

Everyone in town knew each other. When I arrived I had my doubts about staying in this place because of that same reason. I would be the talk for weeks and I couldn’t risk so many people questioning my presence. Except, I was lucky.

One evening, I sat in a small and dark corner of a bar near the outskirts of the town where it was most probable to see an outsider. Two men sat a couple of feet away from me, talking fairly loudly. Out of boredom and desire to know the people I might have been seeing every day, I heard and studied their moments. Taking notes about their behaviors and storing them far into the file I had on humanity. Their voices were cheery as they ate pastries that I was sure to not be from the small bar.

“This is so good! I can’t believe I haven't tasted a pastry this good since I left,” he moaned loudly in reaction to the puff on his hand. The crumbly dessert spilling powdered sugar all over his dark gray pants. “Andrei hasn’t lost his touch.”

“Who is this Andrei you talk so highly of?” The older male asked the seemingly young partner. The man wore an expensive suit, not one that could be found here and from what I gathered from their conversation, he had not grown up here. But his friend did. What he said next grabbed my attention the most.

“His bakery is pretty hidden in the town. Someone that didn’t know the road would not find him. He used to be a criminal, on the run and all that. But since he got out of prison he became a baker. the man sure has a gift. I don’t even know why he went to jail, because the man is a sweetheart. I think he was just dealt a bad hand.” The man kept munching on his pastry as he talked. The vowels all merging to create a soundless blob. I swore he said more but that was all I could understand and by the face of his friend, he understood less.

“It’s such a small town. Why was it never known?”

“I don’t know. Rumor has it that he was born here but left, something to do with his family. He came back years later, on the run from some people. People we assumed to be the police. Of course, the police followed his trail and eventually found him here. Two years later. He hid pretty well if, you asked me. He treats people with respect but he never talks about himself. He has always been reserved when it comes to his life, only telling small details that lead to nothing. You know, not enough to form a life picture…”

Before he finished talking, I was out of my seat, walking towards the pair. I plastered an innocent look on my face, one I had studied and perfected many times since coming to earth. I relaxed my posture, knowing I had been tense and tucked since I entered this town. I still can’t believe I was social before. Nobody would believe that if I told them now.

“Hey, those pastries look marvelous!” I said in a cheery voice when I reached the pair. Both of their heads whipped towards my direction, curiosity written in their faces. I could hear the questions in their head about me and where I came from and what I looked for in town. Typical gossiping mortals. I wanted to cut the tie between our heads, feeling bad about corrupting the men’s thoughts. But I couldn’t, not until I had what I wanted. “Do you know where could I find them?”

“Sure thing. What’s your name, sweet thing?” Sweet thing, that’s funny. If he had been into the American news he would not say that.

“Calypso. Do you know where the place is? Can you explain it to me?” I said, trying to hide the hurry in my voice. His thoughts were front seat in my mind, not wanting to miss a thing.

“So eager.” He chuckled. Instead of the route, I was expecting, he thought about my naked form and countless sexual images began replaying. I resisted the urge to impale his backside, taking a deep breath and counting to ten. I played his game. I battered my eyelashes and looked at him from hooded eyes. I bit my lip gently and walked closer. Sneaking a glance at his friend, I noticed he was no longer looking at us. He seemed uncomfortable and had turned to his coffee and pastries. I wish I had a coffee to turn to.

“Maybe you could take me there. If you remember the way, of course.” He smirked and grabbed the jacket slung over the wooden chair he sat on. His friend looked at us, startled as if he wasn’t expecting my response. However, the joy of his friend would be short-lived. Images of the way to the small bakery filled my head and I smirked. Before he could take my hand to guide me to his car I asked for the restroom.

As soon as I came in, my eyes searched for some window I could use to leave unnoticed. And I found it in the corner of the bathroom beside one of the huge black and white mirrors. I locked the door and hurried to open the window, sliding through the door. The darkness of the night didn’t face me but my alert was high. Everybody could hide in the dark. My heart rocked against my chest as I saw the same guy from early waiting beside his car. I hurried along the alleyway, pulling my hood up and hiding my hair, disappearing into the dark.

“Calypso, boy for you.” I was brought from my memories by the rough voice of Andrei. Whoever didn’t spend much time with him would think he was mad all the time thanks to his voice and forever furrowed white bushy eyebrows. I matched the furrowing of his eyebrows when he mentioned a boy. I had been careful enough to not get attached or get anyone attached to myself so the mention of another human being besides Andrei spooked me.

Suddenly, the thought of agents looking for me or the usual threats I had filled me with panic. I heard the thunderous beat of my heart. The tremble of my hands disrupted the beautiful form of the pastry in my hands. quickly cleaning and taking away the apron full of white dust, I walked to the front of the door.

A dark-haired man in his early twenties stood next to the door with a blue box in his hands. A white shimmering ribbon adorned the delicate box, wrapping silkily around it to form a well-done bow. The chiseled bone structure of his profile caught my breath as he looked to the small, underpopulated plaza in the corner of the rondure. The curvature of his roman nose and the thin shape of his lips sticking in his profile.

I saw him regularly at the small bakery. His usual was a Papanaşia with a black strong coffee. He left three dollars on the tip jar three times a week and I noticed if he was overly happy, he would leave a fiver regardless of the day or how many days he had tipped. I had seen him mad twice in the store. Seemingly, he was one of those guys that harbored every trouble inside in a chaotic turmoil. I knew because I had invaded his mind one of those times. Curiosity had gotten the best of me, knowing he was always the type of guy that carried the sun on his shoulder. Every time he caught my attention, I tried to remind myself that he could’ve been an agent sent by Hydra to kill me or worse, kidnap me.

“Hello. What can I help you with?” I said, confidence laced in my voice. The confidence I did not expect to have. His head whipped towards me. A smile broke on his face at the sight of me. I saw the fidgeting of the box in his hands and the sudden bobbing of his knee. He didn’t appear to be harboring any secrets, or at least not deadly ones.

“Hey. I know this will probably look very weird to you but I’ve been watch- I mean not watching but I just- I,” His stammering caused a giggle to leave my lips involuntarily. My hand immediately flew to my lips, hiding the smile corrupting my face. He lowered his face but not before giving me one of those smiles that could light up a world. God, I felt sappy. He looked at me once again. “I don’t know how to do this. I definitely didn’t think it through.” He chuckled. One of his hands came up to brush his face while shaking it, side to side. I could tell he was nervous, maybe more that I initially had been.

Seeing him stammer was the cutest thing I had seen since the little green and purple flowers that grew back home and surrounded our palace. So, I decided to help him a bit. “You could start with your name,” I said, trying to not smile too much. Agent, agent, agent…

“God, you probably should’ve done that first. Nice one.” He said, more to himself than for me to hear it. “I’m Razvan. It's lovely to finally meet you.” I shook his hand. It was rough yet soft with elongated fingers caressing my own small and thin one.

“Calypso.”

“What I meant to say, you know, before I shot myself in the foot was that you caught my eye since I first saw you. Now, I swear I'm not stalking you because it could be easy to think after the horrible introduction I just did. But, yeah, I would like to get to know you, if that’s okay with you.”

I did think about it. I swear I did. I thought about how he could be linked to Hydra and if you searched on the deepest paranoid corner, the Avengers. I thought he could’ve been just a random murderer whose floor I had shaken. My voice of reason said no. and with the saddest feeling settling my stomach, I told him what I thought. Or tried to.

“I’m sorry, I-I can’t. You seem like the loveliest person b-but I…” For some reason, I couldn’t just say no. “Can I think about this?” That was the only thing that came out of my mouth while I tried to get the words ‘go away and ‘don’t speak to me’ out of my mouth. His smile faded a bit, but even then he tried to keep his positivity and bright personality on. I could feel the waves of disappointment once I started speaking but hope soon came flooding back.

“Sure. I'm a complete stranger coming here every day just to see you. I can see how that’s alarming. take your time.” He shook his head as if realizing what he had just said. He chuckled and I tried to give him a small smile. Before I could turn away and leave, I felt him touch my elbow. I jumped back.

His brows furrowed quickly. “Forgive me. This is for you. And please accept it.” I thought about refusing but this would only prolong this meeting, pushing me to accept a company I wasn't ready for. I took the small box, my hand already trying to open the shimmering blue box. “No, please. Open it later, more calmly and everything and you can tell me whenever you’re ready if you like it.” I gave him a smile, which he returned brightly before diving back inside the back of the store.

Once inside, I undid the delicate ribbon, watching it dissolve like seafoam by the lovely blue water. The glistening gold chain with a tiny, colorful Koi fish rested in the center of the box. My heart swelled and I felt a way I hadn’t felt since Bucky. He remembered what I had told him that first, and the only time we had talked before today.

The voice of Andrei brought me out of my stupor with a jump. A hand traveled to grasp my heart while the other held the box tightly.

“Razvan is nice guy.” His voice was gruff and deep like it had been since I had met him. He walked behind me and grabbed a pack of flour to dump beside me. I looked towards the other and realized I was running out of it.

“Do you know him?”

“Yes. Comes every day for two years. Great boy.”

When I didn’t say anything, he stopped cutting open the pack of flour and turned to look at me. “You too reserved. Not want to end like Andrei alone. Give guy chance.” That was all he said before he left. A tall wrinkly woman with short red hair calling out for him.

The last thing I thought that day after he left drove me to the same road he had set me on. I didn’t want to end alone or die alone for that matter. But what was I to do if everyone thought I was a selfish monster who just wanted to kill and bring chaos? The only person who didn’t feel that particular way was the same man I was leaving without saying goodbye.

Stark seemed to have gathered his words together because he suddenly began spewing some shit on Andrei. shit, he didn’t like it.

“The girl is no selfish girl. Only a fool like yourself would think so. Only a blind man would propose such a thing.” His brows were furrowed but Otherwise, he was calmly standing at the bottom of the stairs sipping his milk. He seemed like he would continue but I made sure to stop him

“Andrei, no.”

“I see. She holds you hostage and controls you, doesn’t she?” Stark countered, a smirk settling in his features. I pinched my nose, sighing loudly.

“You have to leave with this buffoon?” I walked down to his side, muttering an annoyed yes. “I’m sadder for you than him.” A chuckle escaped him as he hugged my shoulders with one arm. I tried to push him away but found no will to do so. I would miss Andrei. He felt like the father I never had. Worry settled in my stomach knowing I had been here and I would no longer be if anything happened to him. I hugged him back, despite my better judgment and the four pairs of eyes staring back at me.

“Don’t forget about me, violet. Nor dear Razvan.’ He told me after letting me go. I nodded before calling back to my two companions. Stark came down, slowly walked to the front door. Bucky at his heels. They both turned. Bucky’s face had some sort of emotion I couldn't decipher. I thought I could, but I doubt he would feel happy about finding someone genuine to spend my days with.

Stark, on the other hand, looked at Andrei as if he had grown an extra head.

“I’m confused. Aren’t you supposed to be dying at her touch or something? Are you sure she didn’t threaten you to act this way?” The funny thing was, he sounded genuinely confused. The skepticism in his voice hurt my feelings but the mere fact it was stark made me forget quickly. He was an insensitive prick with a personal vendetta.

“Take this fool away before I turn him into a human pastry,” Andrei commented. I walked towards them, chuckling. “Ai grijă, violet aprins.” Take care, fiery violet. The elder said before we shut the door behind us. my heart swelled at his words. I knew I would long for those quiet evenings where it would rain and we would sit down in the living room with a book, quietly enjoying our presence. We laughed and made new and invented pastries in the kitchen for days, always looking for new and innovative flavors. I would miss the man that had treated me like his daughter.

“Take care, Pop.” I whispered to myself. Not thinking a long-haired blue-eyed soldier would hear.

And just like that, we disappeared quietly into the night and I said goodbye to one of the most important people in my life.

James let me know they came in the Quinjet, that enormous thing I had refused to sit on two years ago. the walk was not far from where we were and we found it in a while.

The Quinjet was hidden behind one of the buildings next to the bakery. the gigantic thing sleeping while we arrived to climb up. clint stood outside, his arms crossed. that man always looked like he was in a power pose.

“Romania? What is it with chased people and Romania?” Confusion and genuine interest were written all over his face.

Barton had always been a friend before I knew the truth. Nat told me she had told him in a drunken stupor. he tried to talk to her about telling me but she didn’t listen. I didn’t hold it against him because I knew he wasn’t actively participating but he didn’t do anything either.

I shrugged. “It’s a good hiding place. too many criminals organizations for you to matter. nobody cares who the hell you are as long as you keep quiet.”

“Good shadow place.” Bucky added as he tried to help me get in the Quinjet. I ignored his hand, focusing on Clint’s face.

“Exactly.” My response was clipped. if he was fishing for a normal conversation he was in for a treat.

After a while, we took off. My legs became restless as I sat in front of Stark and Bucky while Clint piloted the flying thing. boredom pushed me to get up from my seat and walk towards the front of the Quinjet. that, and Straks glare along with the awkwardness of Bucky’s movements.

Clint’s focused face came into view as I sat beside him. silence engulfed the both of us before he broke the silence with some words I didn’t expect.

“We missed you.” it was a quiet remark but full of shocking force. I just sat there, wide-eyed looking towards the already clearing sky. I looked towards him and forced myself to respond. a scoff came out of me, causing Clint to look rapidly towards me.

“You have no reason to believe me, but it’s the truth. Nat was pretty shaken up when you left. we looked for you everywhere and decided you didn’t want to be found. that you needed some time. it took you longer than we thought.”

“You didn’t find me because you didn’t look. You don’t have to lie to me, Barton.” I said, masking the hurt I felt with anger. why keep lying to me? I knew they didn’t care sop they didn’t need to act as they did.

“What? we did loo-” He never finished his sentence since Stark’s voice boomed around the small space. he came to let us know where would land soon as if we didn’t know already. Clint was the pilot, it was impossible for us to not know. suspicion arose in my chest but I soon forgot it when I saw the massive compound below us.

✹✹✹ I would be lying if I said my stomach wasn’t fluttering and my hands trembled slightly. I subtly rubbed my hands in my jeans, hoping to get some moisture away. But, there was something else bothering me. It had been there for a little while. The emptiness in my chest divided in two, as though… I don’t even know. The doors slid with a swift sound and my heart rate hit new floors.

I tried to avoid showing any emotion I felt. Seeing them surrounding the long table, all in their daily clothing made it hard to remember. I couldn’t show the happiness of seeing them all right after two years. Nor could I show the excitement deep in my bones seeing Wanda’s face. I couldn’t forget the damage (situation) those high-held beings made to my heart.

I looked at them with a mask of indifference firmly placed.

Wanda was the first to step forwards, as I knew she would. I didn’t expect her to but a part of me screamed how she had been the only real friend through the year I spent in this cage. I resisted the urge to hug her, touch her, and receive the reassurance I so deeply wanted.

“I thought- we thought you were dead.” The revelation shocked me. It felt as though they couldn’t believe I was alive. But I was. The question was… why did they think so?

“Nop. Still kicking.” I replied.

“Unfortunately.” I heard Stark mutter under his breath. I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to kick him. I could make him feel a true kick in his brain. And his ass, too.

“Y/n!” A high-pitched voice came from the corner next to me. The smiley face of Pepper Potts came rushing towards me, engulfing me in a hug. My nerve endings shot and I prayed my instinctive responses wouldn’t go through. Fortunately for me, they didn’t. Before I could even think to hold her back—which I wouldn’t have done anyway— she stepped back. Smile intact and a gleam in her eyes capable of illuminating the whole room.

“Jesus. You’ve changed so much!” Her hands settled on my shoulder, holding softly and slightly shaking my shocked frame. “I missed you.” Her vice took a sweet edge and her head lolled to the side. Her eyes scrutinized me with the look of a mother who had just seen her child after a hard year abroad. I resisted the urge to shift uncomfortably out of her grasp. I wasn’t used to this.

“Honey, leave the feral alien alone.” Tony’s voice reached my ears. “We have important matters to discuss.”

“God, Tony. Give us a break. We haven’t seen the kid in two years.” Natasha’s ______ filled the room as I saw her taking steps towards me. I noticed there were no relaxed steps but tense and wary. Her eyes held a sort of apology mixed with caution.

I just stared. Deep inside I didn’t know how to react to someone I hadn’t seen in a long time, someone who betrayed me gets closer. Her body language told me she was sorry but still cautious of my reaction but I didn’t know if I should forgive her. Her right hand stretched towards my frame. I shifted uncomfortably in place, moving slightly away from her.

I saw her eyes roam my body, noticing the discomfort. She came to a halt three feet away from me. Her lips were pursed as she let her head drop for a second. She recovered quickly, extending her same hand towards me, this time to shake my hand.

“It’s good to have you back, Y/n.”

I took her hand in mine, shaking firmly. I nodded my head towards her. My lips pursed. The movement of Wanda’s body caught my eye. She stepped closer to me, her hands nervously trembling beside her big, red jumper.

“Can I hug you?” Hearing those words coming out of her froze the ongoing flow of blood through my veins. I was shocked, to say the least. I bet I looked like a gaping fish as an incomprehensible string of detached words escaped my lips. Everyone else seemed as surprised as I was. For completely different reasons I would bet. As Stark had said, they thought I was a free being.

She waited patiently, probably aware of the shock and ongoing battle I had inside me. She was the only one aware of my thoughts about showing anything besides contempt. And she knew why. But I sent it all to hell and for once, I did what I wanted to do. I nodded.

Her smile was worth enough as she moved quickly towards me, as though worried I would change my opinion. Her thin arms wrapped around my neck, my lack of height apparent as my 5’1 ass reached her shoulders. I resisted the urge to cry as I wrapped my arms around her back, relishing in a familiar face that didn’t hate my only existence.

“I missed you.” It was a whisper, only for me to hear. A small smile escaped my lips as hope blossomed in my chest. Hope that maybe I wasn’t a lost cause. Hope that maybe someday I could have a family.

“I did too, Red.” I murmured back. Careful to not raise my voice as I didn’t want anyone to know anything. I felt oddly vulnerable to be hugging someone let alone hugging someone in front of seven people. I noticed Vision staring and I gave him a subtle nod, a small smile creeping upon my lips. He nodded back with that usual blank expression not in compass with the feelings he harbored. After some time, I let her go before Stark had another remark to make.

I noticed Steve leaning against a far-away table, maybe ten feet away from where I was. His head lowered, eyes on the ground. His arms surrounded his build, hugging himself with a heavy frown on his face. He didn’t want to look towards me and I thought I knew why. He was ashamed of what he did. He was guilty anyway you looked at it. He was guided by Bucky to do everything. He followed the man despite knowing it was wrong. Not because your friend tells you to throw yourself out the window means you’ll do it. He knew full well what was wrong and right. He knew Barnes' proposal was as low as a man could get.

If he didn’t apologize and acknowledge what he did, he was dead to me. I mean, he had tried to apologize that day, but I was devastated and no words came through my anger.

There were a few handshakes and subtle nods here and there before I noticed a presence missing. I looked around for the usual big man with an overinflated sense of heroism but didn’t find him. He was big enough for anyone to spot him. I felt a pang in my chest and a tingle at the back of my head and I knew something was wrong. The air shifted and my hands started trembling slightly.

“Where’s my brother?” I asked, my voice slightly shaky. I tried to compose myself, knowing he had to be alright or I would’ve felt something.

“We don’t know. We couldn’t get a hold of him.” Natasha replied. I noticed the subtle worry etched in her face lines.

Suddenly, I understood that emptiness inside me. That swirling emotion unlatched to an earthy body. One of the connectors inside of me, besides bucky’s, was empty. It didn’t have any energy to connect to.

No.

I didn’t realize I began hyperventilating while the word repeated itself over and over in my head. My chest rose and fell quickly while the air got caught in my throat. My hand shot out to grasp anything in reach I could hold myself up with.

“Y/n?! What’s wrong?” Wanda was the first to step forward and grab my elbow. Her soft touch didn't completely register in my sensory sense. The only thing in my mind was the heavy colorless fog swirling around in my insides.

The worst part was, I didn’t know which of my brothers it belonged to. I thought about them and how long it had been since I had seen them. Since I had been with them.

“Can you all excuse me?” I pulled myself together and without waiting for a response, I hurried across the room. I thought about the me that they just saw but somewhere deep down, I didn’t care.

I hurried, passing Steve's body. This time, he looked intently at me. I didn’t expect him to stand up and grab my shoulders. By this point, my vision was blurry and I tried hard to reconnect with the missing life essence.

“Y/n, I-”

“Can we do this later, Rogers?” I spat, cutting him off before getting my elbow out of his grasp. I left, shuddering and feeling a wave of anger rising in my chest.

What a good way to make a comeback.

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