I think my favorite thing about doing ginger red hair instead of cherry red hair is: lying to people about it

the way i try so SO hard to gain even a crumb of body neutrality only to then see some shit on twitter that remind me that oh yeah. a distinct portion of the population genuinely believes they are being discriminated against when they have to look at or be within 50 feet of a fat person

You know. I spent so long wondering if testosterone would make me unhappy that I never paused to think what I would do if there was a chance it could make me happy

It feels so unreal to lose a pound a day by fasting tho…. Like Omfg….. how does this even work like it feels so efficient

I love when sci-fi/fantasy writers throw in a random fact about a fictional species that actually has big repercussions for that species' biology.

Like, there is a species in Star Trek called Saurians who are adorable dinosauroid looking dudes. They've had very little revealed about them despite having been mentioned as early as the original series by way of "Saurian brandy" — a drink that is so strong it can put a Klingon on their ass in one swig.

Other than that, most of what we know about them comes from snippets involving a reoccuring character on Discovery named Linus, who is mostly a comic relief character. Now the reason I bring them up is that in one episode there's a scene where Linus is eating bamboo of all things, and I'm not sure the writers realized how telling this is about Saurian biology.

Bamboo is a damn hard food to eat, and us humans can only eat the shoots of a few species. Even then, raw consumption of shoots can lead to cyanide poisoning if you aren't careful. We still don't know how exactly a lot of animals that eat a lot of bamboo (bamboo lemurs, red pandas, bamboo rats, elephants, gorillas) are able to digest so much of it without getting cyanide poisoning. There is some sort of neutralization process in giant pandas involving the rhodanese enzyme that turns cyanide into the non-toxic thiocyanate that they just pee out, but the process is still poorly understood in other species.

Bamboo is also hard to digest for the same reason all grasses are; their plant wall cellulose is hard as hell to break down. Like, your choices are:

a) you do a poor job of digesting it and just spend all day eating (giant panda, red panda, bamboo lemur)

b) you grow really big and have a big gut (elephants, gorillas)

c) you only eat the parts of the plant that are easier to digest (bamboo rats)

On top of that, bamboo is loaded with silica phytoliths that are like microscopic bits of glass. These evolved to make their tissues even harder to chew and metabolize.

It's hard to make out in the scene, but it looks like Linus is eating raw bamboo leaves. Just picking them up with his fingers and munching on them like it's nothing. That means his teeth and/or jaws would need to be very powerful (maybe hypsodont? or maybe tooth batteries?) AND, because he's eating it raw, he'd have to be immune to the cyanide in some way.

One explanation could be in the Star Trek Adventures TTRPG, where Saurians are said to have an ability called "Enhanced Metabolism" where they recover from toxins faster than other species (my guess is this was meant to reference their brandy being so strong). BUT, that's not the same thing as the immunity real bamboo eating animals seem to have. My head canon is that Saurians have a diet similar to red pandas, where bamboo-like plants are their main diet on their homeworld, but they'll eat other stuff too when it's available, AND they've evolved some way to convert cyanide into a harmless chemical they excrete, like a giant panda.

All of these whacky biology shenanigans stem (hehe) from the casual writing decision to make a supporting alien character seem weird by eating a weird thing.

Nobody asked for this but it's time for an essay on Spock's body temperature.

Some people say Spock would have a hot body temperature because he is from a hot planet.

Others say he would have a cold body temperature because he is from a hot planet.

It seemed to me that we could test this thesis! Do animals from hot climates have a hotter or colder body temperature than animals from cold climates?

Humans have a roughly average temperature for mammals, 98.6 F (37 C).

Penguins have a core temperature of 100-102 F. Polar bears have a temperature of 98-99 just like we do. They can maintain this temp even in 40 below zero temps!

What about hot weather animals? The camel can vary from 93-104 F—a huge range, but on average around the same as ours. The elephant also has a large range, 95-99 F.

The coldest-blooded mammal is the echidna, at 89 F. The hottest is the hummingbird, at 107. Neither of these is from an extreme environment. It's more about the metabolism: the echidna's is slow and the hummingbird's is fast.

And yet, you see the range is not very great among mammals. This is because many enzymes work efficiently at these temperatures. Above about 104 F, some start breaking down. By 131 F, there's not much enzyme activity that can happen.

Okay, so: Vulcans. We know that they will not have an especially warm or cool body temperature because of the climate. Since they're warm blooded (an assumption, I admit! But I will defend it later) they will have an ideal core temperature their body will function best at and have features to maintain that despite the heat.

Note: Vulcans can also survive more extreme cold than humans; that's why Spock has to help Bones in a blizzard in All Our Yesterdays. This makes sense to me, because desert climates like Vulcan are prone to extremes. It might get very cold there at night with little moisture to trap the heat. This is one reason I think Vulcans are warm-blooded—a cold-blooded creature would have been useless in a blizzard. The other reason is that cold blooded creatures have a slower metabolism in general, and Spock could not possibly be described as slow moving or slow thinking.

Okay, so what is the Vulcan metabolism? Is it faster or slower than humans? My guess is faster, because of their fast heart rate, strength, and quick thinking. That said, we don't have solid proof either way. It might make sense for them to have a slower metabolism so that their body produces less heat and is less likely to get into the enzyme denaturing zone on a hot Vulcan day.

Which brings us to another question: how do they beat the heat? They seem perfectly comfortable in their climate, they're not using behavioral practices to stay cool as humans from hot climates do. They must have ways to efficiently radiate heat from their core. Those ears, for instance. Remember elephants? Their huge, flappy ears are a major cooling mechanism for them. They are able to push more blood through the small capillaries of their ears in hot weather and restrict it when the temperature drops at night. This is called vasodilation—controlling blood flow to either shed or retain heat. We do it too, though not as much. When you're hot, your ears will be hotter. Out in the cold, your fingers and toes will get much colder than your core.

Like camels, elephants can maintain a larger range of body temperatures than humans can. That's another coping technique they have. Other ways to shed heat include sweat and panting.

I never really imagined Vulcans as very sweaty. In a desert climate, methods of cooling that involve water loss wouldn't be ideal.

Here's my guess: they are extremely efficient at regulating core temperature by controlling blood flow. In hot temperatures, their skin and especially their ears would be hot, but their insides would be maybe 100 degrees. When it cools down, their skin would be very cool to the touch, but they would keep a core temperature in the 90s. They might also be able to speed up and slow down their metabolism somewhat to control their temperature.

So. On the Enterprise, which is kept at a comfortable temperature for humans...I think Spock would be a little chilly to cuddle. If you want a warm cuddle with Spock, go to his quarters, where he keeps it nice and toasty.

This has been my xenobiology deep dive for today.

❝mars in the 6th house❞

This is how mars in the 6th house has manifested for me.

With my 6th house mars placement I tend to make my daily activities into games or challenges. In my head I’m always like okay let’s see how long it takes me to do xyz. It makes me feel accomplished to get stuff down.

The downside to all of that is the stress I put on my body. Sometimes I don’t know when to stop and I keep pushing through until I feel burned out. Over the years I have gotten better and reminding myself to slow down and be more mindful throughout out the day.

I have always had very high paced busy jobs. The couple times where I had a more low stakes, relaxed job I would start off thinking I was going to enjoy it and then I would hate it. It would just make the day drag on so long. I like feeling challenged and when I am busy the day goes by faster. When I was around 15 I got my first job at a restaurant and it would get extremely busy and chaotic as fuck and honestly I loved it. The dining room would get so full, people were chattering all the time and we would all be in the back running around like chickens with their heads cut off, bumping into each other. Some of my coworkers would get frustrated which is fair but honestly it felt like a game to me. I worked there until I was 19. I have a higher paying, more “professional” job now but to this day that was the most fun job I’ve had.

I have worked at many different places, but the posts that state mars in the 6th house will give you coworkers being jealous and trying to start shit are 100% right. In every job I have had there were coworkers that saw me as threat or would try to start shit with me. I once worked at a hospital when I was in college and the girls working with me (Who were 2-3 years actually older than me) were so hateful and weird. They would constantly be looking at me, gossiping (or straight up trying to argue) and one time one of them lied to the supervisor saying I was slacking off when I wasn’t (literally trying to sabotage my job).

A male coworker there at the time told me they were just hating. I do believe that they were because they were being weird and messy but I also think he was trying to flirt with me..

The rumors are true about your coworkers crushing on you with this placement. And vice versa for me as well at times. It has gone from flirting with coworkers to me actually sleeping with a coworker once. However those times it was never anything serious, more like in the moment things. 6th house placements really know what it means to have a work husband/ wife lol.

another thing about jobs, when people try to start shit it use to get me riled up and I would let people get under my skin (when I was younger). NOW, I laugh and even though it still makes me annoyed, it makes me feel even more motivated to be the best at what I am doing.

I am also quick to leave a job once it has run its course. I am not that emotional when it comes to leaving and starting over somewhere else.

I lose weight very fast. I don’t mean in the sense that I have high metabolism. I mean that if gain weight and I decide I want to lose it, I do simple workouts and in a relatively short time its gone. Its not an unhealthy or harmful way. It makes sense considering mars is action and speed and the 6th house is daily routines and my body and health. Honestly if you have this placement and you are stressing over meal plans or planning specific workouts, just do simple ones and walk more and it wont be as hard as you thought.

I do have a high libido, especially when I am in a relationship. Having a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship is important to me.

I don’t get sick very often and when I do, I fight it off in 1-3 days.

I can be very impulsive in my daily and routines, sometimes harshly. Like I might brush my hair very roughly without realizing or apply lotion onto my skin in a heedless manner. That is something that I did not like and I try to remind myself to treat my body with gentle hands.

My impulsive behavior was worse when I was kid. For example, if I could not get a necklace off of me or bracelet, it would make me so angry and kind of panicked, I would rip it off even if it meant it might break I didn’t care. Me doing what I wanted and feeling free mattered more than whatever I was wearing. This was however another thing I tried to improve on.

Growing up, in my daily routines people use to be mad aggressive towards me as well. Don’t get me wrong, I knew when I was annoying or pushing someones buttons, but the random spurts of anger at me would be very unwarranted.

I feel like at times I can be very guarded as well or tense. When I am angry, I feel it first in my chest and then my stomach will hurt. I don’t like getting worked up because although I can emotionally regulate, it still takes my body a while to calm down. When I was a teenager it would take a long ass time of me practically seething or cursing. Now after a couple deep breaths I’m good.

Mars is aggressive and the 6th house is my health and body and I have definitely taken my anger out on myself as well. My home life had always been very chaotic as a kid and I started self harming at 12 years old and then I stopped when I was around 17 years old.

On a more positive note, I love taking care of my body now. I would never treat it like my enemy or be so careless with myself like I use to. I like working out. I like feeling strong. And also theres a bonus of feeling hot as fuck when I am naked. When Megan thee stallion said, “ When I'm in the gym I think about bitches that I'm shitting on,” I really felt that 💋🔥

I do not want to sound pedantic and I am sorry if I sound rude but the estimate of König needing at least 3500kCal a day is quite off

I broke down the size of König for @suimon a while ago so that people could understand how big he was and if we are going off the 6'10", which most people see as canon, he would probably be around at least 300lbs to 400lbs at max

Due to him having a very physical job we know he would need more calories than most and using a calorie counter we can guess that if he is 300lbs he would need around 4660kCal while if he was 400lbs he would need around 5522kCal a day but it could be even more if we consider the fact he may want to eat more for many reasons

These reasons could be that due to being a bigger guy he could have a bigger appetite, he could have a faster metabolic rate, he is probably burning even more calories from having sex, he probably does even more exercise than he needs to due to having extra energy that he needs to burn and he seems like an active man who would probably love hikes (I am guessing that he probably would do ten to twelve hours of exercise a day with his job and with the extra exercise he does for fun), he probably wants to bulk out a bit when not on deployment to make up for eating less when on missions but also so he can be a stronger brick wall to protect his family, he probably burns some calories from fidgeting as he most likely would do it constantly such as pacing or leg tapping or messing with a knife, but this is only a few reasons and there could be more

Due to these reasons I would probably add an extra 1000kCal at least which means that at 300lbs he would eat around 5660kCal a day and at 400lbs he would eat around 6522kCal a day (with König who is a foodie I would not be surprised if he gets up to 7000kCal or 7500kCal a day especially if his partner loves to cook as he will just burn it off)

Sorry if I am being a bother I just wanted to share this information and I feel sorry for whoever he lives with as they would probably be cooking a giant batch of meals worth around €300 that probably only lasts three days (you would probably need a giant kitchen with an extreme amount of cupboards and a few fridges and freezers to fit all the food for this man, at least with his job he can afford it)

Also this may not be fully accurate but it is based on what I know from exercising and calories, but also assumptions I have made based on what people headcanon for him

You're not being a bother and I'm kissing you on the lips too solely for putting up with all that math, also printing this out as a part of the official König bible, thank god for pedantic people like you!!!

Hello! I love your TWST work and thought of dropping a request. May I see headcanons of our charming Azul, sweet Kalim, sleepy Silver, darling Vil, and handsome Jamil with a female s/o who eats LOADS of food (both healthy and unhealthy) yet will NEVER. EVER. Get fat? I feel like this would upset Vil the most. TYSM! Keep up the good work and stay awesome!

Azul Ashengrotto

Definitely very jealous when he sees you order one of the largest platters that the Lounge has to offer and you don't have to worry about gaining weight. 

However, now he knows how to spoil you

He will gift you your favorite foods, both healthy and unhealthy

But he knows that even though you have a faster metabolism, you need healthier foods to remain healthy

So he makes sure that your meals are well-balanced

Kalim Al-Asim

He also has a high metabolism, I think. I picture him at the dinner table eating like Luffy from One Piece, just gobbling food up

But he also maintains a somewhat healthier diet because of Jamil

You are always welcome to dine with him, as the food is always delicious!

Your place at the Scarabia table is always right next to him, and he doesn’t mind sharing the food on his plate either because he loves sharing with people he loves

Gives you plenty of snacks, by the way

Jamil Viper

Even though he doesn’t like cooking for Kalim, he does like cooking for you

Because he needs to make sure that all of Scarabia eats healthy, he has a few of the underclassman helping him, and you can as well

Is surprised at your high metabolism, but he has it as well since he moves around and exercises constantly 

Likes to spoil you with your favorite meals from time to time, when he has the opportunity

Makes sure that your meals are well-balanced as well

Vil Schoenheit

I picture him with high metabolism as well, considering all the things I learned about him on the Wiki. His diets are mostly based on concerns of breaking out in acne

However, when he sees how much unhealthy things you eat, he lets out a loud shriek

Man pulls out a chart about how unhealthy foods are a ‘sometime food’ (Elmo reference lol) and that your meals need to be balanced

He understands your high metabolism, but just because you don’t gain weight doesn’t mean your body is not being harmed from the unhealthy foods

Thus, he makes sure you get actually good nutrients that help you

Silver

He has to eat a lot to maintain energy for training, but you cleared off a plate from his father and now he’s worried you’re going to be terminally ill

That incident aside, he also makes sure that your meals are balanced and won’t make you sick (AKA the food is not from Lilia)

With how much you are constantly doing for Crowley and NRC as a whole, Silver is not surprised that you have a higher metabolism

It concerns him how many people think that their healthy just because they don’t gain weight after eating a lot 

But because of his knowledge about nutrition, he knows better

DC Santa is a troll so when he knows he's going to die and he sends his powers to the young heroes he knows he's about to traumatize, he tweaks things just a little, he's got the time after all, he goes all over the world in a night, the comet is in slow motion to him, not that he'd move, and these little chaotic gremlins have been so good despite everything life has thrown at him and he really owes them quite a backlog of gifts

While Santa may go to apocalypse every year, he goes nowhere near Gotham

To Tim, Tim knows everyone's deepest desire with a look, this ability is especially effective in December. Tim becomes the master of picking out the best holiday and birthday presents

Cassie can speak and understand ALL the languages she comes across

People now automatically have some level of trust towards Greta, know that she's a nice person who would protect them to the best of her ability, had she stayed in the superhero community, she would have attained dick grayson levels of trust among the other capes

Kon has a sense of who's on the naughty list and who's on the nice list, makes it easier to steer away from creepers now who would take advantage of him since it's not like he has a grown up to help him figure that out

Bart is even faster and yet his metabolism is evened out a bit, he's less desperately hungry all the time, can get away with just snacks instead of eating an entire all you can eat buffet, though he's still capable of that, and he has even more of a sweet tooth than before

Slobo is capable of lifting even more than Lobo, the sort of strength and balance one would need to carry a sack filled with presents for the world, or the universe

Anita gets a knack for Christmas magic, the little illusions that bring a little extra joy to a person's life and when she and Tim collaborate they find they can put into motion butterfly effects, tiny actions that cause huge, joyous results, and Anita's gingerbread houses never rot

Cissie gets the anonymity, there are so many Santas but no one could ever tell you which one is real, in the future she never has to worry about someone connection her heroic past to her civilian present, except for her friends of course

I love this AU/hc so much, and how you included more than just the core four for it.

For Tim, I know he's absolutely using that power of his for no good. He uses it to make villains (and some Bats) cry when he mentions or even gets them their deepest desire. I am curious if the deepest desire is only for physical stuff or for the unattainable too (like I bet Dick would love to do a Flying Graysons routine with his parents one more time).

I love Cassie's cause she probably freaks the JL out when she starts speaking thr same dialect of an alien species no one has even heard of before.

Greta's is perfect. I hope she finds lots of use for it in her retirement. I would love a spin off of her just utilizing that power when she goes to college, gets a job, etc.

Kon's makes me want to cry. It's amazing for him, but the reasoning is so sad. I hope YJ is able to help him and that he's better able to take care of himself with this.

I like to imagine Anita's parents/kids looking up to her in amazement as her gingerbread house still stays standing after 5 months.

I'm glad Bart has more choice in his need to eat. Tim probably helps him by buying lots of food, but it's nice that Bart, in this AU, doesn't have to constantly be eating as much.

I don't know as much about Slobo (which is a damn right shame), but it seems DC did him dirty (something about him slowly dying and then sacrificing himself???). Anyways, I hope his strength helps him feel more reassured with himself and confident. I hope he can use it to uplift those he cares about.

Cissie's sounds great. There's tons of stories about the price of fame being a lack of privacy. With this, maybe she'll be able to have a normal life as well

some info on topical Testosterone (T Gel)

we've gotten quite a few asks on what topical testosterone is like and if it's inferior to injectable T, so i wanted to write up a quick post on it, since i've gotten a lot of asks from people who think it doesn't work/doesn't work as well as injectable testosterone. i have been on topical T since 2019, and have also worked inside of a pharmacy, so I just wanted to provide some insight for curious folks:

it is the same hormone, just in a different method of administration- it isn't weaker or stronger than injectable. some people just respond better to certain routes of administration- topical medications are very bioavailable, as most people's skin is one of the most receptive places on their bodies to medication, next to direct injections. it's a very effective route of administration

your needs will depend on your body and your dose. communicate frequently with your doctor and ask for tests if you are feeling unsatisfied with how testosterone is affecting you, or if you feel like your dose is too low. if topical ends up not working for you, it is okay to switch if need be. some people also switch from injectable after a few years to prevent skin and muscle tissue damage from years and years of injecting.

if your dose is correct, topical T can still stop your periods, and give you the other desired effects of T. some see results from topical faster, some struggle to see results, it really depends on the individual. for many, there are very strong peaks and valleys (ups and downs) in their hormone levels after injections due to the body metabolizing injectable T so quickly- this can cause sudden fluctuations in energy levels, making one feel like they are/causing one to have mental health episodes, and so on. topical T is introduced into your system more gently and can help one avoid these issues, if the dose is correct. this can be avoided with injectable as well, it's just less commonly seen in topical.

in many states in the US, for some reason, injectable testosterone is often automatically covered by insurance for trans HRT, but not topical. if you run into issues at your pharmacy, if they tell you there are "insurance problems", talk to your prescriber about them sending over a prior authorization. these are usually required for topical T, for whatever reason. this is basically a note from your doctor stating why you need it. this should fix the issue if you are struggling to get it covered by insurance.

the strength will depend on your dose, which can be very painlessly adjusted- if you receive a bottle of gel, it will inform of you of how many pumps to take. if you receive small individually dosed packages of gel, you will take so many of those per day or week. when taking injectable testosterone you have to measure your doses yourself which can be difficult for people with hand tremors, low vision, etc.

do not take catch-all advice for administering your topical T once you have it- follow the directions exactly as they are listed on your bottle and in the informational paper/booklet included with the medication. different formulations and types of topical testosterone will need to be applied on certain areas of the body.

make sure you clean the skin before application with soap and warm water, or other products like bacteria killing wipes, alcohol wipes, etc.

the gel is alcohol based. it has a pretty strong rubbing alcohol smell, and can burn the inside of your nose/eyes or potentially overstim, so just try to keep it away from your face if you struggle with issues like that. it absorbs very quickly and doesn't rub off on anything or leave a greasy mess.

cover the skin you applied it to (upper arms/shoulders or abdomen, depending) with a shirt immediately and keep that shirt on for at least 2 hours. you do not want to risk someone else touching the sites you applied it to and getting testosterone on their skin, which can affect their hormone levels, and can also make it so you do not absorb all of the medication

do not shower, swim or spend extended periods of time shirtless for at least 2 hours after applying topical testosterone, to ensure you absorb all of the medication.

i will add more info to this as i think of it. i will also be including a scanned version of the informational paper that came with my topical testosterone, and other information for further reading. take care and remember, all forms of T are worth considering and are good. testosterone HRT is rad.

suaropods on earth are the absolute upper limit for land vertebrates, but is it because they have four legs? cause i was working on a scifi spec evo idea where the endoskeletal vertebrate-analogs have eight legs and it got me wondering if it means their sauropod equivalents can be even bigger in a similar earth like gravity

If it was just about leg numbers then land mammals wouldn’t be smaller than the biggest dinosaurs

In reality you need specific evolutionary pressures, circumstances, and unique and efficient anatomy to get big.

For sauropods it was entirely due to their internal anatomy. Sauropods are saurischian dinosaurs, which have hollow bones with internal scaffolding that likely made them stronger than if they were solid, as well as a very extensive respiratory system that included numerous air sacks, many of which ran through their bones. This ultimately allowed saurischian dinosaurs to massively cut back on volume and allow them to cool off easier and have more efficient respiration. There’s things we still don’t know about sauropod anatomy though such as how their circulatory systems combated their sheer verticality. Dinosaurs also have unidirectional respiratory systems, which is more efficient than mammalian two way airflow.

For modern baleen whales it has more to do with the aftermath of the last ice age and how it impacted the location of their food (keep in mind this explanation of the evolution of baleen whale size is based on my current understanding and might not be correct). Baleen whales actually used to be much smaller, around bus size. But during and after the last ice age the ocean currents changed and krill populations became concentrated around the poles. Because of this, baleen whales needed a way to eat as much as possible in one sitting and travel long distances efficiently. The easy solution was to get big, which became easier as their predators the macroraptorial sperm whales and Otodus megalodon gradually went extinct. A thing to note however, is that because they need more resources due to their size, the number of baleen whale species is lower than it was several million years ago. Also also, blue whales are getting bigger.

On earth, 200 tons is more or less the maximum size for animals, as the biggest whales, ichthyosaurs, and sauropods got around that size.

There’s more things to note though:

No, higher oxygen levels don’t make things bigger. Not even bugs. Modern arthropods are actually on average bigger than their Carboniferous counterparts, and the oxygen levels were way higher back then. And griffinflies, very active flying insects, lasted all the way into the Permian, when oxygen levels were lower than in modern day.

It’s important to consider what the bones of animals are made of as well as their structure. Different internal structures can handle stress better, and different materials can handle pressure differently.

Eight legs might be too many, as having more legs, while very stable, can be more energy costly. Two legs might not be able to support as much weight as four, but it is more efficient.

A very big thing animals have to fight with when it comes to size is something called the square cube law. Basically as something gets bigger its volume (insides) increase way faster than its outsides (surface area). If you had a 1 centimeter cube and doubled its size, the surface area would quadruple but the insides would increase eight times. But there are ways of combating this such as decreasing volume with things like air sacks or increasing surface area by being very wrinkly (that’s how human brains fit so many neurons!). And because things with a metabolism generate heat, big animals have to combat overheating because they have a lot of insides. That’s why elephants have such big vascularized ears and why their skin acts like a sponge to soak up water.

Also I have no idea how perucetus got so big, that glorious fatass

Speaking of pokerus… how do you feel about the people who purposely infect their ‘mons

ohhhhh my god. okay. so this is my biggest pet peeve in the world. so i'm turning this into a mini PSA

so when a pokémon gets pokérus, it Supposedly will become naturally stronger faster than a healthy counterpart that isn't infected. extra muscle gain, faster metabolism, you get it. and that might be true. sure. thats what makes it super super popular within trainer groups and competitive circles. fine.

but while your pokémon might be getting stronger in the long term, there is a REASON that your pokémon FIGHTS IT OFF and NEVER CATCHES IT AGAIN. it's because it is fucking DEVASTATING to them in the short term. pokérus actively deteriorates and regenerates a pokémons muscles much faster than they should, which causes a jackshit ton of problems. off the top of my head: induced asthma, muscle atrophy, weaker immune response, constant soreness, and sometimes immobility. and during this period, trainers will often not notice and train them EVEN MORE RIGOROUSLY than they would otherwise. vaccinate your goddamn pokémon

Forgive yourself for the rough relationship you have had with your body over the years. The relationship we had with our bodies growing up is the prime reason it takes a lot for us to learn to trust ourselves again. There is so much unlearning we have to be willing to do. When I was younger, I loved to read and prided myself off being a good thinker. If I could have bypassed my body into enlightenment in high school, I would have done it because the last thing I cared about doing was feeling--deeply feeling and hated being called a “cry baby” when I was much younger. I had a sharp analytical mind and was on the math and debate teams in middle and high school and graduated with 3 Bachelor degrees-accounting, biology, and chemistry. I couldn't decide what subject I liked the most and decided to major in them all over a 6 year period. I am grateful that I came across this path of love and way of beauty and opening/expansion in my late 20s because it is truly the purest form of energy. I am thankful that I could reclaim the lost parts of me that brought me back to my soul, alongside strength and flexibility, and is aging me well. It's often the very subtle violence and abuse we normalize with our female bodies, like living mostly in our heads, that creates the most harm overtime. Doctors won't tell us that because they honestly do not know the deeper mysteries or practicalities of being female. We know the obvious ways we harm ourselves (our cells), like when being intimate with the wrong people or drinking too much, but we often miss the more subtle, culturally-acceptable ways encouraged by society and how we learn to socialize together. Sugar used to be my baby, my drug of choice. I used to keep cookies and candy near my bed at night and snack while watching television. I would sweetened everything-toast, cereals, teas, and enjoyed plenty of cakes, pies, and other sugary items. I loved pretty, well-made, high-quality, sugary pasteries from the fancy artisanal bakery as well. But after some years, too much sugar ages you faster than what is necessary. Because sugar, refined sugar, even too much sugar alternatives like agave or coconut sugar, processes as a stimulant or drug to the body. Even white carbohydrate foods like potatoes, rice, white bread, etc. turn into sugar once digested. And most people eat a load of carbs and dessert afterwards on a regular basis, which increases their chance of chronic pain, especially as they get older. Too many carbs or sugar actually represses your body and decreases your female libido. There are a few exceptions to people who can eat more carbs, such as long-distance runners, high-intensity athletes or very thin people with high metabolic rates, and the like. Think about how your body feels after you have had incredible sex with a lover. Mm. The very act of healthy lovemaking is deeply warming, grounding, and relaxing. It is extremely embodying to center this feeling and impulse, this grounded rooted core, in your life, even when you are not making love. If you practice this, it will positively impact every area of your life. Reclaim the beauty of your body just for your own love and care, and not simply for the public gaze and consumption. Breathe life back into your body by limiting or greatly reducing your sugar consumption and get into autophagy, which cleanses your cells and tissues and radiates your light. Move your energy out of your head a little more often and discover ways to stay in your body from the neck down. And witness the differences in how you feel and emanate overtime. You will find yourself becoming a new you! Ask me how I know. --India Ame'ye, The Melody Of Love

things i’ve learned in 14 years of ed life and need to remind myself every once and awhile: (really it’s been almost 18, but the most severe years were between the ages of 14-28)

1. don’t set a date to lose weight by. you’ll sabotage yourself. instead, set a goal weight, and a plan to meet that goal, and give yourself time to meet it.

2. don’t punish yourself for slipping and eating. you’re human. you need food to survive. you’re starving yourself. you’re going to break your fast one day. or “forget” you’re restricting one day because you saw something that looked sooo damn good and you ate it without even realizing. you’re going to go over your calorie limit once and awhile. you’re going to binge. it’s inevitable.

3. learn how to curb the binges. just cause you start, doesn’t mean it’s too late to stop. if you eat 100 calories, don’t turn it into 1000. you can burn off the extra 100-500cals way easier than 5000.

4. learn your triggers. avoid them.

5. just exercising doesn’t work well. just starving yourself doesn’t work well. you need to restrict AND work out. seriously. the results are in and i just lost 35lbs in 3 months. like my drs MA that weighed me saw the red line and exclamation mark that i’d lost 20% of my body weight in 3 months and she flipped out. my weight loss has slowed a little the last 2-3 weeks and it’s 100% because i stopped exercising as much when school started. i usually walk 3 miles every morning on the track after i drop my son off at daycare. it’s my lifeline. if i don’t walk the track every morning now i get super pissy, shit gets bad, and i either gain weight or plateau. restricting and working out work wayyyy better if you do them together.

6. drink water! i know everyone says this. but everyone says this for a reason. it keeps your tummy full so you eat less food, it helps flush everything out, it helps keep your digestive system running, it helps keep your face clear, it helps keep the headaches down, it helps you lose weight… water is just super good for you and you should drink it. but don’t drink too much. if you dilute your body too much, you can kill yourself. literally. if you drink too much water (e.g. 2-3 gallons in under an hour) you’ll die. so don’t drink that much. but, ya know… a gallon, or a gallon and a half spread out over a day is good.

7. allow yourself a treat every once and awhile. not a binge. not an unhealthy treat. it doesn’t even have to be a food treat. but give in once and awhile. get your nails done, take a fun class, make something, draw something, have an ice cream cone. do give yourself the opportunity to indulge in something. or else you become bitter and resentful.

8. once a week, up your calories by at least 200-500. it’ll kickstart your metabolism and you’ll lose weight faster. just don’t keep up the higher calorie count for more than ONE DAY or you’ll start gaining again. but one of those days every couple weeks is great to avoid a plateau.

9. when your clothes start getting really baggy, buy a smaller size. there’s nothing quite as rewarding as going from a large to a small. i just made the switch a few weeks ago and it’s amazing.

10. feel your b0ne3. rub your hands over your r1b3, your h1pb0n3s, your c0llarb0n3s look at your thigh gap.. get on tumblr, look at th1nsp0, it’ll keep you motivated.

11. take lots of pictures. it’s great to look back and see the progression from fat and gross to being skinny and beautiful 🥰

12. stay safe ♥️

all pics in this post are me ☺️

literally blame @neometalsilver for this but here’s how fucking unwell I am about Sonic being Tails’ parental unit.

context: this is using my own timeline of the games/headcanons so yeah. if shit doesn’t register as canon refer to that.

ANYWAY-

Sonic just found a kid when he was 11 while living in the woods and took him in because what was he supposed to do? he’s not a social person, he doesn’t know how to keep friends, but that’s a kid. a scared kid that needs someone to look after him. he doesn’t think he’ll do a great job, but he has to at least provide the kid food and safety. at least until he can figure out what’s best for the kid.

he’s lucky Tails is a genius and can already read and write because he can’t talk. he doesn’t want to. the sound reverberates in his head and makes him sick he can’t talk. Tails is okay with that though. he reads whatever Sonic hastily writes on paper and he learns sign language faster than Sonic had.

food’s already tight. it’s hard to scavenge and Sonic can only steal so much food without locking himself out of every town or village on the islands. he’s already malnourished as hell himself and now he has to find more food.

Sonic eats even less. he has to. Tails is 4, Sonic is 11. he can deal with less food. Tails is growing and even though Sonic can’t run as much because he’s so tired. his metabolism eats through whatever food he manages to eat for himself. his body hides it though. he looks fine and Tails is looking better and the kid is okay and that’s. enough.

Mighty and Ray meet up with Sonic again and Mighty sees Tails and He Knows. because that’s what he did. Sonic doesn’t know what to do when Mighty gives him a look that’s knowing because he doesn’t know what he’s doing and he sure as hell didn’t know he and Mighty were still friends because he doesn’t know what friendships even are.

Sonic doesn’t understand people. he never has. he doesn’t trust people all that much. he can work with people when necessary but that’s… that’s all. people are scary and cruel but god there’s this kid that’s looking up to Sonic and maybe. maybe he should try and believe the world is good because he wants things to be good for his kid.

his kid?

the kid. he’s taking care of Tails but he’s not…

he “borrows” books from the library to read them. to teach himself about the world he’s bared himself from. he reads all the lessons kids are taught. he learns how the world works and then teaches Tails and sure he could just give the kid the books because god the kid is smart but he needs Tails to believe that he is capable.

Sonic needs to prove to Tails that he is reliable. that he’s gonna be there and get them out of whatever they get into. or whatever Robotnik forces them into.

he will do what he has to.

but he’s so scared. he’s not used to people relying on him or being attached to him. he’s so scared of that attachment he wants to run he has to be alone, alone is safe but Tails is there and he’s sleeping and he’s cuddled up to Sonic and Sonic cannot and will not be like the cruel adults that exist just to make his life worse.

when Sonic 2 happens he’s so proud of how capable Tails is. he’s not that nervous, Tails is doing great. sure, he doesn’t love Tails being dragged into stuff like this but it’s okay. it’s okay because Sonic will always be there to take the hit if Tails doesn’t dodge in time. and that’s fine. he’s a kid and learning. he can be clumsy. Sonic’s sturdy anyway.

when they meet Knuckles, Sonic is glad that the echidna seems to take a liking to Tails as a sort of older brother figure and it reassures Sonic that Tails would still have someone. Knuckles is not like Sonic, he is not going to take care of Tails like he does, but he's a protective figure, Sonic doesn't have to worry as much if he needs to be alone. which god he does. his skin is itching.

he loves Tails but he is itching to run.

when they move away from the islands, Sonic is quick to make sure Tails has shelter. he forges whatever he has to so that everything can be in Tails' name. both house and workshop. all of it. they're Tails', not Sonic's. Sonic can't have a house. he's been living in the woods so long that living in a house is so scary to him. he can't.

not yet.

when Shadow dies, Sonic mourns. death is not a foreign concept to him, but Shadow's sacrifice strings. Tails falls ill not long after and Sonic takes care of him. Tails has a high fever and in his delirium calls Sonic dad.

dad.

dad.

Sonic is aware of his own mortality, he almost died when he was 8/9. Shadow's death doesn't make him realize he will die someday, but it along with that keyword makes Sonic realize that when he dies he will be orphaning a child. his death will affect other people. he's not just some kid in the woods anymore. Tails will mourn like he does when he does.

Tails will be alone again when Sonic dies.

it doesn't matter how many of Sonic's friends take on a role in Tails' life, Sonic will be abandoning the kid in death. the thing he promised himself he wouldn't do. but what can he do? he's going to die young. it's only a matter of time.

he weeps amongst the trees. he is helpless to do anything besides prepare the kid.

things go on as normal. more adventures, more fights, more injuries, more fussing. it’s as normal as it can be. and sure maybe in the back of Sonic’s head he’s constantly trying to prepare Tails for when his only parent is going to leave him, but it’s minor. it’s fine.

when Sonic finds Emerl on that beach he knows the feeling that fills his heart. he knows that he’s gone from one kid to two.

everything about raising Emerl is rushed and a little different, but Sonic’s never had a normal experience raising a kid. weird is his home base.

there are a couple moments that get Sonic’s anxiety pumping. when Eggman says he has both Emerl and Cream hostage Sonic can feel the fear fill his veins, but of course Emerl gets both himself and Cream out of the situation. that’s his kid.

and it warms Sonic’s heart when he sees Emerl and Tails interact. something about Emerl brings out the childlike qualities of Tails and it’s endearing and so so heartwarming.

but nothing stays good forever.

Sonic had a choice. the world or his child. it wasn’t fair. but he couldn’t let Emerl destroy the planet. if only because he couldn’t force Emerl to deal with that amount of guilt. that wouldn’t be something the robot could live with. he prayed that he would be lucky and that Emerl would survive but…

“This was Gerald's final program... Should a weapon go out of control, the weapon will terminate itself...”

stupid fucking Gerald programming a self-destruct into a being with thoughts and feelings. stupid fucking Eggman gloating as if he won. as if this was something this was something to celebrate. stupid fucking Robotniks. stupid fucking world.

he didn’t regret the burning hot rage that took his over. he didn’t regret regret breaking Eggman’s jaw. he didn’t regret letting the dark energy blind him. he was blinded by tears anyway.

and god, Tails sounded like such a kid when he asked if Emerl would come back if the world was peaceful and Sonic couldn’t crush a kid’s hopes. especially not his own. his only. Sonic could barely keep it together as he agreed with Tails.

he made Tails stay the night at Vanilla’s house, too heartbroken to comfort the kid. tomorrow. he would do it tomorrow. when he had time to grieve on his own first.

turns out grieving was fighting with Shadow until they were both crying. Shadow lost his last connection to the Ark and Sonic? Sonic lost just about the worst thing he could’ve.

it wasn’t fair.

Sonic didn’t mean to be so much more protective of Tails going forward, hell of any kid he interacted with, going forward he just… he could deal with a lot of things. he had been through hell and back. pain was something he had learned to accept as part of his life. hell, maybe part of him would be lost without it. but he couldn’t lose Tails. for god’s sake if he was doomed to an early grave why was it so damn hard to have his kids outlive him?

he noticed Tails starting to doubt himself and that’s the last thing he wanted, Tails was so much better than him in so many ways, but he couldn’t… he couldn’t get over his fears.

was having Tails alive more important than him having a good self-esteem? Sonic was so lost. he had no frame of reference. Sonic had never had parents. no one to look after him. to show him what to do or what not to do in raising his own. he wanted Tails alive but he didn’t want Tails to have a miserable life. how was Sonic supposed to show Tails that he was more than capable without risking the kid’s life?

he didn’t know.

he tried but everything kept getting worse and Sonic didn’t know what to do and-

6 months of torture gave him plenty of time to think. too much time, really.

Sonic thought about plenty of things. but his mind always went back to golden fur and blue eyes. was Tails okay? sure, Sonic ran away a lot to do his own things, but never this long. had anyone taken up on taking care of Tails? did Tails blame himself? he shouldn’t. he’s just a kid.

safe to say he was not happy when he heard that Tails was missing when he got back. he was already upset with his boyfriend, and now his kid was just alone in an active war zone. Sonic knew Shadow had probably watched the kid from a distance but that wasn’t enough. Tails was 12 for fuck’s sake!

Sonic kept up the smiles, of course he did, but it only reinforced that Tails would be alone when Sonic actually passed and that… maybe Sonic was more mad at himself than anyone else.

or maybe the cruel workings of Fate. but no… that couldn’t be it. Sonic had defied fate before. but…

he didn’t know what he was mad at anymore. it didn’t matter.

Tails was in his arms again and maybe, just maybe, Sonic would teach Shadow about parenting.

just in case.