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owliellder · 8 months

Text

The Finer Details

Post DI! Leon Kennedy x f! Painter Reader

MDNI 18+

(Session 1, Session 2, Session 3, Session 4, Session 5, The Reveal)

Description: Leon realizes that retirement is in his best interest now that he's getting older. All of his accomplishments as an agent mean he's truly earned a painting to commemorate..

Warnings: Not Proofread, Age gap! (reader is anywhere between mid-late 20's and Leon is 40), Porn w/ Plot, Use of she/her pronouns, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Alcoholism, mentions of trauma/PTSD/depression, P in V smut (wrap it NEOW), Leon cries during sex 💔

Tags: Older Leon Kennedy, Younger afab!Reader, Leon is SAD but he is your muse, Crying, mentions of Leon masturbating, starts off with Dom! Leon and Sub! Reader, falls into switch territory because that man needs some serious TLC, Praise kink, Hickeys, Handjob, Nipple play, Oral sex (m! and f! receiving), and a heavy dose of Aftercare

Author Note: I wanna say there's some pretty descriptive talk about depression in this chapter, just as a heads up. Anyways, it's my weekend and I'm going to be absolutely zooted every single day so the next chapter will most likely be out Monday morning PST lol.

Cross-posted on AO3

Session 3: Blocking In Color

It was nearly three weeks until you saw Leon again.

You tried to call him a couple days after he'd left that day, a few more times over the following week, but to no avail. The man was unreachable.

Even though you did your best to convince yourself that you just wanted to get his painting started, "It was an important one", you knew that you were really just worried about him.

You've seen this kind of dismay with the other retired agents that've had a portrait painted in the past, but they at least recognized what they'd been through.

Leon hasn't. You could just tell.

Looking over the sketches you made of his face, you couldn't help but wonder what exactly he'd been thinking about the last time he was here. He seemed so bothered, acting like he was hiding it so well, too.

Then again, you did drop a rather large bombshell on the guy while he was in a pretty vulnerable state, but you thought he knew what the portrait he was going to receive was suppose to mean. Again, most of the retired agents you'd seen were similar to Leon in that regard and even they at least had a basic grasp on the finality of it all. So why didn't he?

You nursed your bottom lip, still staring at the sketches laying in front of you while you sat at one of your desks in the corner. You normally don't come to your workspace unless you're actively painting, yet you'd shown up everyday in hopes Leon would randomly pop in. He seemed like the kind of guy to just kind of show up, anyways...

If you had just gotten a picture that day you've could've at least started working out the positioning for his portrait. Unfortunately, he wasn't in any position mentally to put up with anymore of your shenanigans at the time, it seemed.

You really did try your best to get ahold of Leon, eventually giving up a few days ago. You'd already emailed the President, who had been the one to personally commission you unlike with previous ex-agents, letting him know that it's going to be longer than expected. Thankfully he was understanding, knowing rather well how much the whole retirement thing was weighing on Leon.

You'll come back tomorrow and try again. Even the next day, and the day after that if you have to, and so on and so forth.

Guilty. That's all Leon felt right now.

He's been shelled up in his house since the moment he got home after leaving your building, withering away by the minute.

He hadn't showered, barely eaten, only ever really pulling himself from what little comfort his room offered to grab whatever bottle he touched first in the cabinet. Leon didn't care, just as long as it was something.

Chris had been over a couple times after he stopped responding to his messages, doing his best to get him out of the house. Claire had been over a few times more than her brother had, bringing groceries once she'd heard about the sad state Leon was keeping himself in.

It broke both their hearts, but they could only do so much for him. Leon was stubborn, head strong, he wasn't the kind to sway to many forces. He had somehow gaslit himself into thinking he was doing well. "Just peachy", even.

Clearly that wasn't the case, both Chris and Claire could see that. They'd have to be blind not to.

Having been in contact with Leon's government-assigned therapist, Chris tried to set up an at-home meeting for him one day. That turned out to be a disaster seeing as Leon was bordering on blackout drunk and could barely keep his eyes open. Not to mention the vomiting.

Claire even tried to bathe Leon. She only got far enough to wash his hair in his kitchen sink, using his vomit-covered mouth as an excuse to keep him over the sink long enough to shampoo his greasy, stringy hair.

All of it was weighing on him too much. He felt so guilty for making his friends feel like they had to babysit him, ignoring everyone's calls and messages, your calls and messages. That kind of thought process quickly spiraled into him reliving the worst days of his life, having to through suffer so many flashbacks and nightmares, not sleeping because of it. He rarely ever felt safe enough to get under the covers on his bed.

None of this is what he wanted. If it were up to him, he'd start all over; be twenty-one again, work as a cop, maybe get promoted a few times, find a girlfriend, start a family, have a normal life. Why couldn't he have that?

Staying awake night after night, Leon would stare at the ceiling in his bedroom and fantasize about the wonderful life he could've had, the happy memories he could've made. It would make him weep, longing for something that never could've been.

Instead, Leon was stuck with endless images of horror, death, and gore every time he blinked, and oh was he bitter about it all. So bitter, so angry, so...

Feeling sorry for himself was all he could do now. Sure, he killed all those monsters and zombies, saved all those people, not once did he think about himself through the years. Now he had all the time in the world to question and wonder, and having to think about himself and what he wanted most made him feel like a needy, greedy bastard.

But wasn't he allowed to be greedy, if only just a little? He had wants, needs, and though he wanted so desperately to change his past, he knew he couldn't. So, what did he want now? That, he didn't know.

Guilty for feeling this way, guilty for wanting different, guilty for wanting anything good for himself.

It took the better part of those two weeks for Leon to finally muster up some form of energy to stumble into his bathroom and shower one afternoon, dizzy and nauseous. The light emanating from the rest of his house was blinding, not having even bothered to close the shades he had on any of his windows. His room was kept a cave and that's where he stayed.

Leon now found himself sitting down in the shower just like before he'd decided to retire, only this time it was mostly to keep from slipping and dying. The last thing he needed anyone to see was him naked and dead in the shower. Embarrassing.

His thoughts at the moment were shallow, still pretty drunk from his bender, head lulling back and forth a bit as his vision spun. He was finally hungry again, the heat from the shower making that all the more obvious as he grew lightheaded, but he didn't know what he wanted.

After managing to actually crawl his way out of the shower, he dug through the pile of dirty laundry at the end of his bed, finding a pair of boxers that didn't smell too terrible to put on.

Leon used the wall heavily for support to walk out into his kitchen, muttering curses under his breath at just how bright it was. Opening his freezer, he stared at the meal prep containers left by Claire, grabbing one to attempt and read what she'd wrote on the sticky note attached to the lid.

That's right... She made him little meals, even putting them in the freezer so they didn't go bad as fast. All he had to do was put it in the microwave.

Simple enough, he could do that.

The one he chose was meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Just the sound of it had his stomach rumbling and his mind craving the comforting taste of a home cooked meal.

The first few bites in made Leon feel nauseous again, but once those bites hit his stomach the feeling immediately gave way to just how hungry he actually was.

He tried to pace himself, he really did try, yet he managed to devour the food in front of him in a matter of minutes, only pausing every few seconds to breathe. It felt so good, something warm in his stomach. Filling in all the right ways. Once he finished, he pushed the empty container away and just laid his head down sideways on the cool countertop, closing his eyes as he let the food settle.

As much as he wanted to degrade himself for acting this way, reducing himself to such a weird and pathetic state, Leon didn't have the mind to. All he knew right now was that the warmth that the meal Claire made him. Not to sound cliche, but he genuinely believed he could taste the love cooked into it.

For the first time in what was now two and a half weeks, Leon was awake and alert when Chris and Claire came over again. He'd eaten everything Claire made, holding all the now cleaned containers out to her. It was a silent plea for more, and lucky for Leon, she had just made another grocery trip for him.

Unbeknownst to him, Claire had been cooking here at his house. This entire time he thought she'd been bringing the meals over, assumed to be leftovers from cooking for her family. She did confess to hoping the smell of the food cooking would pull him from his room. It didn't, much to her dismay, but now she was just glad he was up and eating again.

As soon as Leon tried to apologize for dragging her away from her family, she was quick to shut him down with that mom stare she'd developed after having her kids. It worked, especially on him.

Chris was busy chatting up Leon while Claire cooked him another set of meals for the next week. It was hard to converse, but Leon did manage to nod and him as the other man talked about some random encounter he had the other day while out driving.

It was strange to feel so lively again. Those thoughts still clung to the back of his mind, though all he could focus on were his friends taking care of him like one of their own. Leon feels like he's been a terrible friend lately, seems as though the siblings standing in his kitchen didn't feel the same. He wasn't showing it, but Leon was definitely holding back a smile.

A couple hours had past, Chris opting to stay with Leon and eat lunch since Claire had to head back and help her husband with something.

The hug Claire gave Leon was phenomenal. After the hug he shared with you he's been craving that physical contact more than ever, so finally getting another good squeeze from a friend was boosting his mood.

Chris and him sat, ate, and talked about whatever came to mind, eventually asking about you.

"How's the painting coming along? Do you like the painter?" He smiled, looking at Leon with wide, curious eyes. That man always had a smile gracing his features.

Leon shrugged, taking a sip from the water he poured himself not too long ago. He was pretty dehydrated after solely drinking alcohol for the past couple weeks. "She's alright. Haven't started the painting yet."

Chris raised an eyebrow, placing his arms on the counter and crossed them as he leaned forward slightly. "Just 'alright'?" he emphasized the word "alright" with air quotes, which caused Leon to scoff.

"What else do you want me to say? I've seen her twice so far and its been fine." Leon lifted his hands up in confusion, palms facing the ceiling as he watched the man sitting next to him rolled his eyes dramatically. "C'mon, she was amazing for Claire and I- Okay, how about this..."

Chris repositioned himself so his entire upper body was facing him now, leaning in a little closer to ask another question. "Do you like the room she works in? Cause I thought it was pretty comfy. When she was focusing on Claire's part of the portrait, I took a nap over on that rug she had. All those pillows mixed with the classical music knocked me the fuck out."

He laughed, shaking his head at memory before looking over at Leon again. "So...? And don't lie to me, I saw that pillow on your couch."

Leon sucked on his teeth and hummed, glancing over his shoulder at his couch. "It's cozy, yeah." He brought his head back forward, patting his hands gently against the counter.

The two chatted for awhile longer before Chris eventually had to leave, giving Leon a firm pat on the shoulder while shaking him a bit. After he left, Leon was left to sit alone and think again, only difference now is he felt better. He was crazy tired, his social battery quickly drained from having his friends around, but he felt good nonetheless.

He wasn't ready at the time, yet after a sober night with solid sleep, Leon woke up the next morning and decided to just text you, hoping you weren't mad at him. Calling would've been too much at that moment, not even have listened to the voicemails you left, or anyone's, for that matter.

His chest felt tight after sending the text, but it was quickly eased about ten minutes later when you responded with nothing but enthusiasm. The smiley face you added at the end of your message made him smile, quickly wiping it away with his hand.

Your next session was arranged two days ahead of time in the late afternoon. Leon wanted to give himself enough time to recollect since he needed to look his best the following weeks. You told him it was time to start with the main painting, which you still needed a picture for.

During that time he finally shaved his stubble, went out and got his hair trimmed, tackled all the laundry he'd neglected, and got his best suit dry cleaned. All thoughts aside, he felt good and wanted to stay this way.

Needless to say, Leon was jittery when he pulled up to your workplace again. He was finally letting himself feel excited again about this painting. If it's anything close to what Chris and Claire's portrait is, then that excitement will only continue to grow the further along you get.

You were already there waiting for him at the door, a gentle smile on your face. That wonderful soft perfume that he missed reaching his nose once more as you lead him up the stairs and through the other door. Chris was right, if he had the opportunity, he'd take a nap on your rug. It looked mighty comfy.

Leon was thankful you didn't ask any questions on his whereabouts, he wasn't ready to talk. You were just as excited as he was about getting the painting started, if not more. Watching you eagerly move back and forth between the larger easel and your desks was a refreshing sight to the man.

You stood at your easel for a couple minutes, just silently looking from the blank canvas to where he was sat. You told him to get into a comfortable position, prompting him rest his right leg on his left knee, leaning back and to the side so he was sitting at a slight angle, arms resting on the chair's armrests.

You stared at him for a few seconds, tilting your head side to side with your eyes squinted. "Let me just-" you spoke in a hushed voice, walking over to Leon before cautiously reaching out to rest one hand on the underside on his chin while the other hovered over the side of his face.

You weren't an idiot, you knew what his absence was from. So you made sure to be careful with him, knowing he was probably still pretty fragile. Only gentle and cautious touches for Mr. Kennedy.

So close yet so far. His skin tingled in your hands wake, and god he hoped you couldn't notice his blush.

You could, but you wouldn't say anything. Besides, you weren't faring well yourself, hands a little shaky as you touched his face.

Leon just let you move his head to whatever position you wanted, his eyes now half-lidded as you had walked back a couple times to get just the right angle. You pulled away for a final time with a small "aha!" and he wished you would hold his head for just a little longer.

The floor where your easel sat was marked with an 'X' made with painter's tape, making it easy for you to stay in the right spot for the photo once you pushed the easel out of the way.

"Don't move." You held your hands up after analyzing his position, quickly hurrying over the corner opposite of your desks to grab a bulky camera that sat atop a tall tripod. You worked as fast as you could, knowing as long as you had a picture with him in this position then this whole process would go so much smoother.

You didn't even have to ask Leon to smile or look up at the camera since he was sitting there with a rather dopey smile, his eyes remaining trained right on yours. Nice and natural. He looked relaxed which is exactly what you wanted.

Just as a precaution, you took multiple pictures, giving him a thumbs up once you figured you'd gotten enough. His head back to rest on the chair at the okay, listening to the sound of you walk over to your laptop after untwisting the camera from the tripod. You printed out 3 copies of the photograph and taped one to a stand you had brought over to sit next to the easel, making sure it sat eye level to you.

The ball was finally rolling, now having what you needed to start with the main sketch. When Leon lifted his head up, he noticed that you were ready, sucking in a sharp breath through his nose while he shifted a little to get back in just the right position.

You twirled your pencil between your fingers before beginning to roughly sketch out the chair, eyebrows furrowing as you focused. Leon could see your expression, how intensely you zoned into your work. It was incredibly admirable and he found himself fully content in just watching you do your thing.

It didn't take long before you had sketched out his general shapes, now walking over to take the sketches you made of his face out of your sketchbook to clip up right next to the reference photo. The more finer details would be added later, but you wanted to get just the basic shapes of his face.

That didn't take long either, because before Leon knew it, you were telling him it was okay to talk. He was pretty animated with his hands when he talked, so you kept him quiet until now.

"Am I easy to draw?" Leon spoke with an almost sultry tone after a few seconds of you telling him he could speak. It threw you off only a bit, carding your fingers through your hair as you took one step back to look at what you had so far.

"I wanna say yes and no." You responded, catching his questioning look from the corner of your eye. "You're easy to sketch out, yes, but your hair is giving me trouble." You could hear a low chuckle rumble from his chest as you stepped back forward. "Hey, you asked." You laughed back.

"I know, I know." He shook his head with a poorly hidden grin, tilting his head down to try and hide it a little better. You immediately pointed your pencil at him, not taking your eyes off the canvas. "I said you could talk, not move." Your sarcastic tone made him chuckle again, slowly lifting his head back up with a sigh.

"Yes, ma'am." You could just hear the smirk in his words, causing you to let out a sigh of your own.

By the time the sun had started to set, you had blocked out all the simple colors for the painting. Right now, it just looked like a very bland and abstract painting. It'll come together, slowly but surely. Trust the process, as people say.

Leon was in awe already, having stood up to look at your progress as you washed your hands over in the small bathroom. Oil paints smeared something fierce and as much as you loved your job, you did not want feel oily at home.

"It already looks stunning." You heard the man say from where he stood in front of the easel. It wasn't quite registering in his brain that it was him on that canvas just yet, but hopefully soon it would.

He wanted to recognize himself in something as wonderful as your art.

554 notes · View notes

mikobeautifulheart · 2 months

Note

jjk boys (aged up cuz itd be weird lol) with an older girlfriend, like 3 or 4 years older. tysmm!!! 🩷🩷 love your writting

Awww shucks your making me blush.

JJK men with an older girlfriend

TW: Ageing lol. Yuji is aged up to 21 but Yutas like in his first yearish while your almost graduating ig. horrible spelling.

INCLUDING: Yuji and Yuta

-Yuji-

"Itadori, I know that Todo kid asked you this almost 6 years ago, btu what's your type in women?" Gojo asked in curiosity.

The more Gojo thought about it he never saw Yuji be romantically interested or in a relationship. Thats why he nearly fell backward with Yujis reply

"Eh, my girl friend really, she's all I look for and all I need." He said mindlessly walking ahead futher into the cursed building.

"G-g-girlfriend?" Gojo said turning his head a 180.

"Yep! We've been together for 8 years!" Yuji said proudly.

"HOW COME I NEVER KNEW"

"Well I was a student a Jujutsu high at the time and she was in the starting her college degree" Yuji said.

"College degree? What is she, super smart for a 16 year old?" Gojo asked his interest only growing.

"Uh...Well she would have been, I met her when she was 19 so she kinda had everything figured out." Yuji says playing with his thumbs.

"So she's older then you?" He asked

"Well yeah but... that dosen't matter, only by 3 years any ways. Honestly is there really anything wrong with that?"

"No, no of course not its just that you didn't strike me as the type of guy to go for older women, you little devil." Gojo said giving Yuji a gentle but hard slap on the back.

"When you think about her age is no where near Sukuna's so I wouldn't be so worried."

"YUJIIII" you yelled waving in the distance.

"Is that your little friend or something." Gojo asked looking at you.

"No, that's my girlfriend." He smiled waving back.

"What was it like having an older girlfriend anyways?" Gojo said slightly taken aback.

"It was actually pretty good, honestly she would sometimes pick me up in her car or drive me to surprise dates, I think I prefer older women more actually." Yuji said quickening his pace.

"Hm interesting."

"Plus she's talker then me." Yuji finally tan to you. He picked you up and swung you around as Gojo looked on in envy.

~Yuta~

"Okkotsu. What's your type!" Todo asked anticipating his answer.

"M-M-MY GIRLFRIEND!" He accidently shouted in nervousness.

Everybody's Heads turned.

"Rika?" Panda asked.

"No..." Yuta sighed almost dropping his Katana

Now he had everybody's attention.

"Well. What's she like" Todo said crossing his arms.

"Well...she's really kind. And pretty. And amazing. And smart. And strong. And-"

"I get it, but what dose she look like." Todo said cutting off Yutas mumbling.

"Well she's shorter then me by uh maybe 2 cm?"

"So? What dose that mean, shes younger by 2 years or something?"

"The opposite actually. She's finishing high school soon, she's 3 years older then me so..."

Again everybody listened.

"You like older women?" Todo asked

"I'm not really picky but...yeah..." He rubbed his hand sheepishly behind his head.

Welll it didn't matter anymore because the school competition still happened and Kyoto lost.

Yuta walked down the streets finding your apartment block and walking up its stairs. He used his key to open the door and creep inside, the lights were off and everything was suspiciously silent. He kept walking through the apartment spotting you asleep on your desk, all your school work scattered around you.

"God your so perfect" He mumbled going over to you and picking you up laying you down gently on your bed.

AITHOURS NOTE: I didn't really know what to write because the age difference isn't that big of a deal compared to some other age differences... anyways I hope it's kinda what you wanted, reblogs r okay and good whatever time to you.

138 notes · View notes

smokeypeaches-and-honeyplums · 1 year

Note

Could you do a request with mk, redson, sun Wukong and macaque where the readers family doesn't support them. Maybe in monkey kings and macaque case the reader family saw what the monkeys did in the past and don't trust them and like that?

Been dead. Dying. Deceased. Sorry just been juggling a bunch of shit irl and only lego monkie, demons and delivery men are the cure

Note 1/25/23: lol so I’m gonna be finishing requests while recovering, long story short, keeping myself sane while my body does the opposite, sorry like ALL the requests are as late as they are

Reader is Gender Neutral by default

MK/Qí Xiǎotiān (Monkey Kid)

MK means well, he really does!

It's just that

When your family saw him on the news looking extremely intimidating and given he has a tendancy to STEAMROLL the city,,,,

He's not the most trustworth

I mean, he destroyed the city playing PING PONG of all games while BLINDFOLDED

BLINDFOLDED

PING. PONG.

MK couldn't really,,, give himself the best of images if he tried now could he

It's PIN-

Anyways

Your family is VERY disapproving of the most destructive 'hero' beside monkey king that they've ever met/heard of

Makes him being the Monkey Kid all that more ironic in the worst ways for them

You're an adult though so it's not like they can control who you date like they could/would when you were still a minor

You both of course still continued to date but it did still sting to know your parents didn't approve of MK.

He was a wonderful guy! He made you laugh, he was really caring and made sure you were safe and okay. And he can surprisingly cook!

So you thought maybe you needed to have them figure that he's as great as you see him

Not doing a dinner because that's a one shot kill with any sort of chance-- it will so quickly become awkward especially given MK's nature

He's not really a traditional guy

You talked to MK about it and suggested taking it one step at a time, not like you wanted to rush this anyways. You wanted your parents to like him!

Doing it one at a time with your parents and doing it in small doses did something. They didn't shoot a killing glare at him anymore at least

They still didn't approve of it, but at this point in your relationship, you weren't going to relent from being with MK, so they threw in the towel. Plus, he’s beaming sunshine, it’s hard to hate him

They warm up to him when they stop trying to cherry pick, but it's still VERY gradual

In the meantime, he stays very respectful and tries to tone down on his usual choatic behaviour, taking in the fact of just how important it is to you that they like him/get along with him

He takes note of what they like and don't like, and given his artistic abilities, tries to make something for them as gifts!

Eventually he's treated like a part of the family, even if it took a while

In your eyes, it's all worth it

Your mother(s)(ly figure(s)) dote on him

Same with your father(s)(ly figure(s))

It eventually gets to the point they start teasing about marriage, which is easy to fluster MK

All in All, he's accepted and cherished by your parents, and you couldn't be happier, most positive note out of the four

Redson

Ok so like

This is more granted because it is literally a demon, nevertheless the son of THE Demon Bull King. I doubt anyone who remembers about the legends and then what happened to the city like. Twice by his hand wouldn't be standoffish

So when your parents catch wind about your going ons with Redson, they're,,,,

Less than excited to say the least

They try to keep you away from him, thinking that there has to be some double meaning to why he would want to date you, what it might be was up in the air

When Redson found out about that though, he was quite irritated

Though giving it some thought (and some calming down from you) he thought it made sense from a protective parental figure's POV

It still didn't feel good to be deprived of his lover more often than he would like, even with their reasons

It's harder to get into their good graces compared to MK, given he's terrorized the city more than once and made his face known for it

Sure MK is,,, MK but at least he's doing it to save everyone and stop the threats to the city, albeit very recklessly

Redson has been mostly known to be the cause of that in the first place

So with your help (which is mainly to keep him from burning anything) you decide to speak over dinner

It's awkward at first, especially since your parents are not quite hesitant to throw shade at him, but his way with word and bit of charm does get the ball rolling in the right direction

The dinner ends off with a nice note, despite the rocky start

It helps ease them up enough to Redson to be able to tolerate seeing him with you

But they are still cautious

Knowing how prone he is to his literal flaming outbursts

You can come to an understanding about it, given how infamous he made himself out to be

But you try to assure them to the best of your ability that all is fine and you are fine

He treats you pretty well, and is very sweet. A traditional sweetheart given his long period of living which tugs at the right heartstrings

Like MK, they come to terms with the demon, given just how much you cherish him and him to you

Which, gives you the first glimpse at a relatively publicly giddy Redson

Sun Wukong (Monkey King)

I think this one is a

given

I mean like

Sun Wukong is known for being really fucking unhinged

Even when he isn't being unhinged

So when your parents catch wind, they are LIVID

He's disgraced everything in his path at least once when he was younger, so it's only natural that even if he's 'wiser' your parents are far from buying it

I mean he's Sun Wukong

He picked a fight with Buddha frame 1

Who knows what he might do

Unlike MK and Redson, Sun Wukong isn't as inclined to try and get in their good graces

Sure he'd do things relatively traditional, but he's more loose about it than the former two

He also would suggest to let your parents come around naturally instead of intervening, thinking that his image is as tainted as it could possibly get

”Besides, I am THE Monkey King, they’re bound to come around!”

It reassures you a little, which WAS the main goal anyways

He brushes it off and makes jokes about it like he does everything else, so you consider his advice

Though, you aren't completely opposed to nudging your parents in the direction you want, just enough to not make it so obvious

You want your parents to be involved with your life to at least some degree, so having them at least tolerate your relationship would ease you a good deal

It takes some time, given nothing being direct and Sun Wukong being... Sun Wukong, but you manage

You do get your parents to tolerate it the relationship, but years of detestment and vitriol isn't that easy to get past

You know what battles to fight, so you throw in the towel in terms of your involvement. You got at least one milestone out of the way so that's all that matters in the long run

Unlike the other two, Sun Wukong and your parents' relationship is on a bittersweet note, more bitter than sweet.

Sun Wukong respects your wants, but being rational foronce he insists to let things run their course

Especially when, between him and Macaque, he’s the more respectful simian

"Besides, we have plenty of years ahead of us! We'll take it one step at a time."

Yeah

One step at a time.

Six-Eared Macaque/Liù ěr míhóu

He's a trickster

Manipulator

Bastard™

So it's understandable that your parents feel the way they do about Macaque

He's not hung up about it either

If anything, it doesn’t bother him at all!

Though, with this being Macaque, that worries you more than it reassures you

He would be a self admitted asshole and wear it with pride even, so some comments from some less than influential people (to him at least) would be nothing more than dust off his back

He technically didn’t live as long as Sun Wukong and was in a form of hiding soon after revival, so his track record isn’t as disastrously long as Sun Wukong’s to hold over his head and remind you of

Still bad though

And, Macaque having that beloved sass of his, makes his lack of care known, whether or not your parents are nearby at first

He slipped up once about how “Your parents have a stick so far up their ass you’d think it was Wukong’s staff.”

Ok that at least got a chuckle from you

But, you still scolded him, telling to at the very least tone it down when they’re around, especially when you’re also around

He agrees to the terms, although reluctantly with much hesitation at first on the brink of refusal

But you ARE the least toxic thing/the person who cares about him the most in years, and with walls being broken and in no mood or state to build them back up, he’ll at least TRY for your sake to keep you around

It’s an effort you really care about, so he’ll so some care for the sake of you than anything else

Though, despite all of this, the relationship between your parents and Macaque would probably be on the worst note out of the four.

He’s soured by the sands of time and you had to pry his heart open with a crowbar. So he’s not going to be kind or complacent. At least so easily if at all, and that comes in degrees

And how he sees it, if your parents don’t plan to extend the olive branch, why reach for something that ain’t there

You feel bad about it, and Macaque reassures you best he can, but now you know, firmly, there’s no way Macaque and your parents would ever be in an actually positive relationship

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raccoonfallsharder · 1 month

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First of all, I love you and your work x 3000.

Second, thank you so much for the treasure that was “Bite.” I keep coming back to it and rereading it and loving it a little more each time. ❤️❤️❤️

Third, I wanted to ask a question: How do you think the dropped idea of a Rocket and Scarlet Witch roadtrip would have been like? These two characters would be interesting to explore.

you. are always making me blush. and you know i adore you and your work as well. (seriously folks i hear there’s a slice-of-life au coming out soon so check out this author on ao3) ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ it was honestly a pleasure and an honor to be able to gift you with something small to balance the scales on all the joy your writing has given me and the support and encouragement and friendship I’ve benefited from through our conversations. i appreciate you so much and frankly you deserve more & better

secondly. let me be clear. i am grateful they did not include this arc actually because the endgame writers would have FUCKED IT UP. they sabotaged rocket’s relationships with every avenger in a hundred small lines (still hung up on nat’s “he eats trash” comment; i can’t). they had a whole-ass opportunity to do something beautiful with him and thor and instead they made a mockery of grief, loss, depression, ptsd, and arguably genocide?? with an added dose of uncharacteristic body-shaming from everyone who interacted with thor including rocket, the guy with more body image issues than anyone in the galaxy. (i know im preaching to the choir with this) add in wanda maximoff — whose character arc has imo been repeatedly undermined and assassinated throughout her time in the mcu — and it would have been a recipe for disaster.

"We had whole drafts with Wanda on a road trip with Rocket," Markus wrote, "but after the Vision plot in Infinity War, nothing we came up with was anything but wheel spinning for her character." (CBR)

i forgive these writers for not knowing rocket’s backstory. they couldn’t. but you had two characters who lost everything in infinity war and you couldn’t think of anything beautiful or meaningful or interesting to do with them? i’m increasingly grateful that we barely ever saw rocket with nebula (another relationship they undermined but i fixed) because im sure it would’ve been a fucken travesty

these fuckin asshats. it’s no wonder they fucked up everything with thor. i wouldn’t trust them with any story that might mean something (hire me disney lol) (jk don’t you’re a very scary corporation)

anyway im sorry. i think you meant this to be a prompt and i will write that fuckin fix-it but first i needed to rage & seethe.

[[exhales]]

okay. im going to think on this and write a little snippet of what i would’ve liked to see and i’ll dedicate it to you as one of my headcanons lol

everything i learn about endgame makes me more mad

#rfh asks #hibata #endgame rants #rocket raccoon #scarlet witch #wanda maximoff #guardians of the galaxy #endgame

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monstersinthecosmos · 4 months

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kacy it's friday and i'm here for my weekly dose of unethical marius headcanons 🥹🙏🏼

yknow literally I saw a post this morning about how Hannibal works on a sliding scale except the scale is HOW WEIRD ARE YOU and I was like, damn that's so good, it's real, Dr. Marius does that shit as well.

but I'm thinking like, he specializes in CPT which is usually sort of structured and meant to be done in a specific time frame, and while he has this skill and is amazing at it with patients who need it, he also kinda keeps the timeline to himself when he gets interesting people that he enjoys talking to.

We've discussed if Armand is here for court ordered reasons, so even with that he might have to simply attend a certain number of sessions or for a certain period of time, but Marius enjoys him, and Armand is finding that it's really helping, so Marius doesn't end the treatment and Armand continues to show up.

Marius is also kinda bougie and he makes so much money on his regular patients that he allows himself a few pro bono cases because he can afford to and because it's entertaining, so Armand never even sees a bill for any of this--if he was ordered here or even if he had insurance, perhaps even the insurance would've capped how many sessions he could go to, but Marius simply doesn't bill him once it expires.

He's also experimenting with LSD treatment on Daniel!!!!!!

Anyway CPT sometimes involves repeating stories and working on stuck points and so when they start getting into private stuff like Armand's sexual hangups, that's when the hands-on approach starts coming into play. Perhaps Armand has trouble orgasming in front of other people because he's too self conscious or feels too guilty, and he's gotta practice in front of Marius. Perhaps one day Marius gets Armand in his lap, facing a mirror, watching himself as Marius milks it out of him, so that he can stop worrying if his mannerisms are undesirable, or if his face does something stupid. And even when he gets better and it gets easier, they keep trying over and over, "for maintenance" lol.

#unethical marius

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akkivee · 14 days

Text

i was going to type out a huge post about the stage since i snuck in one last full watch before it went away but tumblr killed my post as i was making it and i don’t feel like making another one lol

so new encounter thoughts: clifnotes version!!!!! it’s fitting bc that’s what this stage was anyway lol

i enjoyed myself!!!!! i wasn’t disappointed by any performances, tho since i was ride or die for akira ichiro and ayukawa jakurai, i felt those losses keenly lol. i was also surprised how much i felt like i was missing aramaki sasara watching this play lol. there were some changes to the origin stories, ofc lol, but the stage has always had superior bb takes so i really appreciate them changing ichiro’s more shallow dismissal of his bros in canon to him being scared for them after what happened with samatoki and chuuoku. it’s his biggest conflict in these battles so i appreciate them making it a primary focus

i read a tweet from a fan idk who they originally stanned but said they were considering becoming a hama lady after the stage and abso-fcking-lutely LOL uehara-san is incredible as samatoki, yuki-san can also inspire the masses with his looks and dancing and flow and tho stage rio didn’t have much presence in the play, him opening his heart to samatoki thru their battle and then teaming up with the both of them after fighting together is a great slight change to their origin story

*slams thru the wall like the kool aid man* AND THE NEW BAT HAIYUU ARE ACTUALLY MAGNIFICENT like backwards order since i have Things to say about nakanishi kuukou lol but nakatsuka-san’s hitoya is very cool!!!! his voice envokes almost the same amount of hype takeuchi-san’s voice does for me, like it’s deep and rough when he’s going and it’s sooooooo good. stage hitoya in the legends era cared for jyushi certainly, but i don’t think he flat out babied jyushi as much as he did in new encounter like my god lmao. it might be more indicative of the difference between actor’s personalities lol and i suppose hitoya did try to get kuukou to lighten up on jyushi when they first got started. also, there was this look he gave kuukou when kuukou started to goad him into being on his team that exuded cool charisma i think nakatsuka-san might be another actor too cool for hitoya LOL

i didn’t think it was possible for a jyushi to be even more baby than daigo-san’s but goddamn i think sakayori-san managed it LOL and again i do think some of that is bc of the source material they were adapting. i saw reports that new encounter jyushi was kinda spoiled by his team and i could see the undercurrents of that in the way kuukou would pat his back when getting up or the way jyushi would lean into hitoya and hitoya would actually wrap an arm around him lol. but i’m not complaining ITS CUTE. sakayori-san’s silhouette is so crazy like his build i think is exactly the way i envisioned jyushi’s so i kept vibrating out of my seat whenever he did a flourish and i got to see his figure lmao. i saw a report commenting that he needed to work on his vkei mode voice bc it was hard to differentiate and maybe???? idk i could tell the difference just fine, even if his voices don’t have as much of a gap as sakakihara-san or daigo-san’s

i want to throw up out of excitement thinking about nakanishi kuukou which is how i know he’s officially part of the kuukou brainrot LOL he’s kuukou!!!!!! he is so purely kuukou that everything i feel about kuukou is pushed onto him and i feel like i should apologise rn bc that comes with a heaping dose of objectification!!!!!! but it’s chill!!!!!!! *kicks down a wall* HES GOT MUSCLE ON HIS TINY FRAME!!!!!!!!!!!! like when he gets going going, that jacket starts slipping off and the camera caught just the right angle and lighting to show the contours on his arm muscles and i started yelling!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thick neck thick calves thick arms HES BUFF!!!!!!! BLESS NAKANISHI-SAN!!!!! and thankfully it’s not for the aesthetic like he’s athletic asf too with jump kicks backflips air somersaults and the like. he is probably the best person to have gotten the role after someone like hirono-san, whose kuukou has shaped the character so thoroughly that even in this new stage, direction choices were made to preserve the hype his kuukou envokes. if the writing on nakanishi kuukou stays the course, it’d honestly be a bonus to have that extra hype kuukou lol. and on that note

I DONT HATE STAGE KUUKOU WRITING LOL🙌🙌🙌

now it’s just an origin story so there’s plenty of time for shit to go awry but rn i’m feeling massively satisfied lol. there were some lines that were raising my hackles but frfr??? that’s just me being sensitive after all these years lol it’s fine. no nod to kuukou’s history with ichiro but tbh i don’t come to the stage for that lol but it made me think of the complaint that nagosaka’s get together story felt rushed compared to the other divisions. and they were lol but i’m not sure if that’s the stage’s fault or the source material. on bat’s side, bc they formed nagosaka alongside the og teams in the stage, ramuda’s development thru bat got axed in favour of jyushi falling for rei’s scam that brought dh together. it’s a choice that further isolates nagosaka so while within the stage narrative it makes sense (does jyushi’s character a disservice tho), it kinda annoys me thinking about the long term lol but it’s probably not going to matter in the long term either so ultimately it’s fine. i guess. maybe lol

one last nakanishi-san ramble and i’m done lol but that fanservice part really showed off his charm lol like when he rolled up on some fans arms spread wide and demanding their ears and attention!!!!!! 😫😫😫😫🙏🙏🙏🙏 and as he was heading back on stage, there was a lone bat fan along that aisle so he paused and leeeeeeeeaned back into that backtrack and flashed the bat hand sign at her and i couldn’t stop my unholy noises even if i tried he’s so cute omfg help he’s adorable like actually 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

#this is vee speaking #this is the clifnotes version yes lol the other post would have been much longer LOL #i didn’t say it but i was also reeeeeeaally charmed by new encounter ramuda lol #like…………… he’s so full of life and cute…………….. he’s so bouncy…………….. cute…………….#i enjoyed the music and production quality like it’s still the stage!!!!! even if it doesn’t have all the flair legends era actors gave it #another complaint i saw was over the team songs not being incorporated into the play and i understand but lmao #those are team songs so it wouldn’t make sense for them to be in the play itself when none were a team yet #the stage even kept the detail of no one having their team emblem in their design UNTIL those team songs #trust these guys lol they know what they’re doing

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aprillikesthings · 29 days

Text

LAST EPISODE

s5 ep13 heart pt 2

LET'S GOOOOOOO

it's 1:21pm and I have laundry to do AND Easter Vigil service starts at 8pm, can I get this all watched before 7pm?

Or am I gonna sit there in church vibrating in place for two hours knowing I have three minutes left on the episode or some bullshit lol

(That's longer than usual, yes. Easter Vigil is actually one of my fave services of the year--we start outside lighting candles (the ones inside have been out since Thursday night, even the one we otherwise never put out), then walk into the dark church, then sorta speedrun bits of the old testament (with a hymn after every reading) and then we decide OKAY IT'S EASTER NOW :D and turn on the lights and make a lot of noise and sing a few more hymns--we don't sing or say alleluia during Lent so all the hymns have that in it. There's often MASSIVE amounts of church incense, too. Anyway by the end it's a bit of a party. Apparently some churches have an actual party after the service.)(side note if you're new-ish to these posts that I'm Episcopalian, like, the priests at my church are a gay man and a woman, we're cool people mostly I promise)

See this is why these posts take forever. Why do I keep infodumping shit. This is what it's like to watch things with me in person, though.

If I get through this episode before Easter Vigil my reward is gonna be coming home and taking an edible and rewatching the last two episodes without screenshots so I can just cry over them.

oKAY

eh? that's new. like putting that on screen like that in dead silence. No intro sequence.

oh right Adora is injured. :( And it's some kind of magical monster thing that did it--a security thing put into the Crystal Castle by the First Ones

when she touches her wound the Failsafe glows, and it's making static-y noises and looking glitchy, that can't be good

the nasty tentacle monster thing is still there buT SO IS CATRA YAYYYY she shatters at least one of its eyeballs? I think?

my brain: this is like Caitlyn helping Vi after she got stabbed by Sevika, the wound is even in the same place :D me: wrong person has the red jacket on also Catra isn't going to buy some illegal potion thing to dose Adora with

(you should watch Arcane)

DOES SHE EVER SAY IT LIKE THAT BEFORE THIS?? oh god she sounds so breathless and relieved

Adora: "You can't be here! It's too dangerous"

And she stands up and starts to fall over and fucking Shadow Weaver helps her stand up, uGH

LOOK AT MY BB KICKING ASS

oh god so Shadow Weaver basically drags off Adora, Catra's like "I'll catch up, okay?" and Adora's like "no no Catraaaaa" her voice is cracking and everything, she doesn't want to do this without her and also worries about Catra and that tentacle monster thing

I'm not gonna screenshot it but poor Glimmer is fighting her dad, who is still chipped and Evil.

Bow is fighting Scorpia, also chipped and Evil. Oh hey Melog shows up and makes Bow invisible.

Micah is MEAN when chipped. He calls Glimmer a failure.

Glimmer: "My mother raised me to be brave. My friends taught me to be kind. And I'm stubborn. I get that from you. I will never stop fighting! And I won't lose another parent! I love you, dad."

She blasts him with enough magic that he collapses.

Bow, invisible, types away on Entrapta's computer she set up in the Horde thing, but when he gets it to start to do its thing he gets excited and says "I've got it!!" and Scorpia hears it and blasts him and is standing over him about to get him.

Bow: "Prime may have made you do a lot of things, but he can't turn you into something you're not. So, right now, all I need you to do is trust me."

Her eyes get normal for a second and she yells, and Bow slams a button on Entrapta's computer. There's a bright light.

Where Sea Hawk is holding Mermista, her chip goes dead and falls off. We get a lovely montage of other characters from all over Etheria, like Huntara and the folks at Elberon, who'd been chipped having their eyes go back to normal!

Scorpia: "oh my gosh I am so sorry!!"

yeah she's definitely back to normal lol

up on Horde Prime's ship:

lol

"My device worked! I knew it would!"

Bow: "Hey, everyone. I'm Bow."

(lol there's so much story in just this frame alone)

But yeah they show people from all over Etheria stopping to watch him speak, including his dads.

"Right now, we're the only thing standing in the way of him controlling it forever. You might be feeling hopeless. You might be thinking "We don't stand a chance." And maybe we don't. Prime's too strong. His army is too powerful. But that's not gonna stop us. We need to show Prime we're not afraid of him, because we have each other. And we have love. We can't give up. And if we go down, we go down together. We need you. All of you."

"It's time to fight. For She-Ra, for our homes, for each other!"

Broadcast over, back to Horde Prime. "Put an end to this mockery."

Catra injures the tentacle monster thing, but now that green is spreading into the room, and as Catra runs down the hall towards the Heart, she stops as Horde Prime shows up in hologram form

"I had such high hopes for you." like what, dude. keeping her around and chipped like a fucking puppet as an example? eugh. (something something about how her speeches to Adora while chipped were an obvious reference to people proselytizing high-control faiths)

the moment of distraction is enough for the tentacle monster to grab one of Catra's legs and she screams in pain D:

also there's still a bunch of earthquakes happening as these two limp towards the Heart

Poor Adora is just weakly going "No...no...wait" Shadow Weaver: "Don't lose your focus. We're so close."

What's this WE shit.

But also damn one thing Shadow Weaver and Horde Prime (and Light Hope!) have in common is they both believe love and affection and "attachments" are weaknesses. Shadow Weaver just cannot seem to get it through her head that Adora's love for Catra (and vice versa) is helpful here. Not a detriment. Love isn't a distraction!!! It gives us a stable ground of security and safety from which to do hard things!!

Meanwhile poor Angella told Adora "take care of each other."

This is pulsating, and so is the Failsafe on Adora's chest

OH NO oh god Okay being near that much hardcore magic is making Shadow Weaver powerful--her hair does the floaty thing for the first time since, what, s2? And she starts reaching for it, but THEN--

Adora yells Catra's name and starts walking back towards her, and Shadow Weaver's hair falls down again and she says the most weirdly desperate-sounding "Adora, wait!"

Prime's hologram is still torturing Catra along with the actual tentacle monster

(someone has drawn rule 34 of that thing but I'm not looking for it. I am content to know it exists.)

AND THEN THE MONSTER GETS BLASTED BY SHADOW WEAVER AHAHA NICE

about time she was useful amiright

okay so is this Shadow Weaver actually realizing she's been wrong about The Power of Love, or is this just her begrudgingly accepting that these two are Sold as A Set, Do Not Separate, and unless Catra's there Adora won't be able to use the Failsafe because she'll be looking for Catra the whole time???

Like is this an emotional epiphany or just pragmatism?

oh god so she magically shoves Catra away (towards Adora), but Catra runs back to Shadow Weaver

And y'all I know I talked about this a LOT way back in earlier seasons but I cannot tell you how accurate this keeps being in regards to dealing with an abusive parent. Like if you'd asked me, even after I cut off contact, if I wanted my dad to die, I would've said No! Of course not! At that point I didn't know whether the no-contact thing was temporary or not. I just knew I needed time and space to not be constantly stressed and anxious, for a notification on my phone to not immediately fill me with so much adrenaline my hands shook.

Anyway Shadow Weaver puts up a magical shield to keep Catra back

Shadow Weaver's response is amazingly calm and quiet. "Please, Catra. You need to make sure Adora reaches the Heart. The magic must be set free."

Her fight with Tentacle Monster isn't going well.

Catra's voice is heartbreaking here. "Stop it! It's going to kill you!"

"But you, this is only the beginning for you."

;_;

STICK THAT KNIFE IN AND TWIST IT! YEAH!

Catra's crying "no...no..." and a hand reaches out and grabs hers

LOL FINALLY HIT THE IMAGE LIMIT okay going to reblog

what a moment for it pfft

#april rewatches spop #heart pt 2

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babstheyaga · 3 months

Note

Now, I don't want to make requests cuz i don't want you to feel forced at all, I'd hate to make you feel like that,but I think bee just deserves a good dose of cuddles and praises from yn, he's a sweetheart and he deserves love

(I personally don't like jazz, I love his design but can't stand him for the rest(wich is totally ok you made a great character))

(also have some questions about ratchet but I don't want to spoiler anything so do I send you a private message or ask it here anyway?)

ALSO THAT CHAPTER WAS SO FUCKING GOOD I LOVED IT IT'S ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SO FAR💞

I always put warnings for possible spoilers related to FMOD, so you can always ask any form of question in my inbox, but if you just don't feel like it, anyone and everyone is totally allowed to message me personally!

You're the first person I've heard say they don't like Jazz romantically! Wow! Interesting... Going to get my note pad and have to study you... Hmmmmm....

Also, here lol 🏃‍♀️

I DON'T fucking want it right now!

"SUCK IT UP! You haven't eaten in fucking 5 days, idiot! Give me your arm!"

I said I don't want it!

"AND I SAID SUCK IT UP!"

Arcee and BumbleBee were arguing. It was the first time I had seen them actually fight.

Arcee was trying to give him his needed feeding tube. It was a rather bad week, more so month, of him barely being able to eat anything. He was still muscular, but they were slowly fading, his ribs I had never seen before were morphing around his skin.

Arcee was having me hold his hand, it seeming to be the only thing that was stopping him from getting up and knocking the purple-haired woman's teeth out.

He was anything but happy, obviously he wasn't. I had never heard of the eating disorder ARFID up until I had met him. The more and more I stayed around him, the more problems I realized he had.

His normal food that he would go to was grilled cheese, or even half a jar of peanut butter, but this week, a bad week, seemed to be worse off for him.

He was refusing to put anything in his mouth, and I think not only me, but everyone around him was growing to worry if he was becoming more avoidant towards things he normally found comfort in.

He hadn't touched peanut butter in a solid three weeks because he said one jar tasted old. He found mold on a single slice of cheese and had a rage fit where he had to use a punching bag for three hours. And don't even get me started on the slightly color-faded m&m in his shareable bag...

He was getting worse by the day, and at this point, he refused to go into the same room as Ratchet in fear of him lecturing him.

And so here we are now, Arcee was the one who had to take matters into her own hands because he avoided everyone but her, me, and Jazz.

Do you have ANY idea what the hell is in that?!

"Vitamins, protein, ya' know, THINGS THAT KEEP YOU ALIVE?!"

I don't give a shit. Get it away from me.

"OOO you- I want to- I'm gonna- JUST." She took in an obnoxious breath, closed her eyes, and forced a very awkward smile. "Bee... Honey, sweetheart, darling... If you don't let me put this in your chesssttt," She had a sing-song tone, her face looking crazed. "Then I will be forced to put it in your nose!"

F-A-T FUCKING CHANCE!

"THEN LET ME DO MY THING GODDAMMIT!"

"BumbleBee?" My voice was low, soft, and fearful. His stare down with the absolutely livid female broke instantly, his expression softened and he shot his sight towards me.

He was in a gentle rut. All I needed to do was be sweet with him and he would swoon and melt.

"If you want, um... I can go get something to eat? Maybe some crackers or something?" I asked. "I-It can be like a little dinner date." It was slightly pathetic, I was never flirtatious with him, nor ever outright asked to do something romantic, but he looked like he took the bait.

The pure shock on his face stood for a long while, the three of us dead quiet, eager, desperate for him to answer in any way, shape, or form.

I was embarrassed, probably more than I should be. Me and him were more than just friends, obviously, we had to be. He took my virginity, he flirted with me, hell, he has the title husband for a reason.

He blinked, showing the first sign of movement. He looked down my body for a moment and now rapidly blinked as if shaking himself out of a trace.

Yeah... Yeah that would... He brought a hand to the side of his face, feeling the heat escape his darkening cheeks. Yeah sure. You can... Yeah...

I nodded my head, giving the faintest of appreciated smiles. I let my thumb rub the middle of his bent arm, trying my hardest to not only soothe him, but myself as well.

Arcee scoffed as loudly as she could and smacked a hand to her forehead, shook her head then stormed her way to the kitchen to grab me a box of cheez-its.

"You're doing good... If you need a distraction, I can talk about something. Whatever you need... I'll do my best to help."

#god i love asks #related to fmod #prompt #*dies of too much energy*#i slept. 3 HOURS LAST NIGHT. and yet #I AM BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS #long post

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beauleifu · 1 year

Note

hiii!! saw your rqs were open so i swooped right in >:) may i perhaps get a fluffy syntax x reader where the reader tries to drag syntax away from his work because theyre sleepy and want to cuddle him (bonus points if syntax is a bit of a tease cause djkfgdkfg im predictable) ...... i feel like once he gets going on his work he stays there until he either finishes it or passes out. overall hes Very stubborn so we gotta try and fix his sleep schedule with the power of ~love~ (and a lot of convincing). thank you for the opportunity!! the way you write for him is like instant serotonin 🙏💞

HEYYYYY GOOD TO HAVE YOU!

And ofc, ofc, we all love a little Syntax serotonin, yessir. Anyways, I hope you enjoy, sorry if this is late! I wanted it to be fun and mushy lmao

P.S. to everyone else, I think this is gonna be my last long oneshot for Syntax seeing as im writing a fanfic for him and dont want stuff for him to get old or repetetive, I have a LOT of requests regarding him so i'll either write short headcanons or not answer them until later <3

as for that yan!Syntax x reader, that's the exception lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SYNTAX X READER

Lego Monkie Kid

Context: Your idiot is back at it again, tinkering late at night at the work bench you realize you regret buying for him. Syntax was never one to value his own health, so it's up to you to, ah . . . remind him. Let's hope your plans don't go sideways.

CW: Tiny suggestive bit, language

‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹‧˚₊꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒷꒦︶︶︶︶︶꒦꒷‧₊˚⊹

When you wake up, it's still dark.

Weird . . . You think, not bothering to sit up. Dull gaze directed at the stone ceiling, you frown thoughtfully.

It's probably sometime around three in the morning.

That doesn't explain the strange empty feeling inside of you. Blowing out a sigh, you look around for the person you'd been spooning all night - only to find the other side of the bed vacant and cold.

Now you realize why you feel empty.

Syntax is gone.

Frustration starts to build up in your center as you slowly sit up and rub your eyes, yawning tiredly.

He's probably working in his signature cave. Just one of many in the vast expanses of the Spider Queen's lair. You've become familiar with the many routes and tunnels that stretch to the surface (the Spider Queen needed you at your top game, anyways). After coming to terms with serving the Queen, you've stayed by Syntax's side to help him with whatever he needs. You're not a tech nerd, you're not even a scientist. But the spider demons seem to enjoy your company, the food you cook, and the items you bring from the surface.

It's too chilly to leave your room without a blanket, so you drape the fluffiest one over your shoulders and slip out of bed, bare feet touching the smooth, stone cold floor.

Urgh. Living underground doesn't have many perks.

You find solace in working with Syntax and befriending the other spider demons. At least they allow you to travel to the surface in order to get your daily dose of vitamin D and other necessities. Besides that, you live down here.

Stretching and scratching your back, you walk aimlessly to the door and crack it open. It's dark outside.

It's always dark.

You've grown accustomed to the lack of sunlight, but you must have access to a nightlight or a lamp if you want to feel somewhat at home. The Spider Queen had allowed you to decorate your room (it's a cave, but you refuse to call it that), and you're grateful to her for that. It's not often she expresses any sort of kindness to begin with.

Eyes wide, you fumble for your phone and beam the light down the tunnel.

Just beyond, where the path curves sideways, you see a light.

Yup. Totally working.

"Damn spider demon," you mumble to yourself, in a slight daze as you leave your room and follow the source of light. "Getting no sleep. What am I supposed to do . . ."

When you finally reach the room, you pause.

Anxiety bubbles in your chest.

Step, step, step.

You've started pacing, you know it.

Slowly shuffling back in forth in front of the ominous door that leads to Syntax's quarters, hands twisting the blanket fabric. Under normal circumstances, you'd walk right in after knocking, with a smile on your face.

Instead, you're frowning, tapping your chin and thinking hard.

It's three in the fucking morning.

Why isn't he asleep!?

You don't understand why the Spider Queen won't send Syntax to rest and charge up if she values his tech skills so much. Despite it being so dim down here in the spider caves, no one ever seems to want to sleep. Unless they do so while you're aboveground, but the time you spend up there recently is very brief. You're ordered to return to the Spider Queen's lair in due time (and you're sure Huntsman keeping an eye on you the whole time, anyways. You don't try anything).

Adjusting the fluffy blanket draping over your shoulders, you fight a yawn and rub your eyes. Just get it over with.

You're tired.

He must be exhausted.

It's that which motivates you to quietly open the door, peeking inside before stepping through. As you expected, a tall figure stands at the work bench, back to you, tinkering away.

You puff out a small, exasperated sigh. "Syntax. . . ."

He doesn't turn, but you detect the smallest tensing of his shoulder muscles as he straightens a tad. You hear the small exhale.

"You should be asleep."

Oh, he wants to play this game? Puffing a sigh, you enter the room and shut the door quietly behind you, leaning against it. "Yeah, well, so should you. This isn't healthy and you know it. Why can't you take a break and come back to bed?"

"You know why. I'm almost finished with the prototype."

"The prototype?? You mean you're not even at the final stage?" Crossing the room and joining him at the workbench, you give him the stinky eye. "That's not almost finished."

Finally, Syntax locks eyes with you, frowning. "Did I say I was almost finished with the project as a whole?"

"No. . . ."

"Precisely. Now if you won't return to bed, then sit and be quiet."

You weigh your options, biting your lip.

At this rate, he'll just refuse your request just to spite you. There must be a smarter way to play your cards. Something that you know he has a weakness for. . . .

"How about a deal?" You murmur.

There.

You catch it, the slight lift of his eyebrows and the brief gleam in his green eyes. But he merely scoffs. "What did I just tell you?"

"Please. Please!" You say, fighting a smile. "I wanna cuddle!"

"I'm not in the mood for bargaining."

He's messing with you. You know he's interested in whatever you have to offer. Puffing a laugh, you slip your arms around his midsection and hug him from behind, closing your eyes. The sound of his breathing against your ear is soothing, even when it hitches at your actions. He's so warm. No wonder you woke up from his absence.

"Pleeeeeaase?" You whine softly, knowing you sound childish but not caring in the slightest. "I thought you liked deals."

A pause. You hold your breath.

Syntax lets out a sigh, a smile in his voice. "What did you have in mind?"

Oh.

"I, uh . . . haven't planned it out that far. I was expecting you to shoo me back to bed," you admit sheepishly, glad you can hide your face in his coat so you can avoid meeting his gaze, which is no doubt amused and mocking.

The spider demon hums, tinkering away. "That was on my itinerary, but you have piqued my interest. . . ."

"Okay, how about I do whatever you want for a bit, and in return you come to bed and cuddle with me," you offer, releasing him. Syntax spins on heel and leans on the workbench.

"'Whatever I want'?" He repeats mischievously.

You consider. "Within reason."

"Understandable. All right," Syntax says, cocking his head. "I have an idea."

A question builds in your throat, for he'd been so very explanatory, but Syntax simply crosses you to the far side of the desk and faces you once more. Hands in his pockets, he nods to the desk, eyes twinkling mysteriously. You frown deeply.

"Sit here."

Now you grimace, face scrunched as you try and figure out his ulterior motives. "Uh-huh. What else? Just sit?"

If this is it, getting him to bed will be shockingly simple.

Of course, you miss the look in his gaze. Smiling casually, he hums; "Yes. That's all." And then his voice takes on a stern dip. "However. You are to sit quietly and obediently until I instruct otherwise. If you can do that, I see no problem in fulfilling your end of the bargain."

There it is, the catch you were waiting for.

Accepting your face, you nod wearily and saunter over to the desk. You make sure the blanket is secure before hopping up onto the smooth, wooden surface.

Syntax steps back, making sure you look comfy. "Good. Now sit there for a bit."

"You're not just doing this to make me shut up, are you?" You accuse as he walks back to the workbench. Shifting to avoid leaning back and bumping the discarded tech gear at your back, you eye him sternly. "You really will come back to bed?"

He merely glances at you.

Oh.

Shit.

You make a quick movement of zipping your mouth closed. Damnit, you still have no idea if you're doing this for nothing.

Syntax cracks a satisfied smile, returning to his work.

His demeanor gives away nothing. Whipping out your phone, you glance at the time. 3:30. Through narrowed eyes, you determine how long he'll make you sit here. No longer than half an hour, if he values your sleep schedule. Somewhat reassured, you settle into the blanket and watch Syntax resume tinkering around. The prototype looks like some kind of mini spider-bot, with sharp appendages and large, x-raying green eyes.

You long to ask what purpose his creation serves. Perhaps it's some kind of spying device, to scuttle around the city undercover of night in search of the Monkie Kid. Then again, isn't Syntax's current task something different? You thought the former was Huntsman's job.

A yawn escapes you without warning, and you clap a hand over your mouth in shock.

Syntax spares you a brief glance. "Giving up?"

He's asking if you're tired enough to abandon the deal and leave him here (as he probably wants). To challenge you in that way sparks a flame that you don't bother to snuff out.

Glaring determinedly, you shake your head. Not in a million years.

The spider demon's face drops in disappointment, and he turns back to his work without another word.

You're inclined to pass the time on your phone, lazily scrolling through entertainment simply thrown at your feet, as they swing back and forth above the cave floor. But as time ticks on, you begin to think this is all quite hopeless.

You struggle against another yawn.

A few more minutes.

It'll be worth it.

Syntax suddenly straightens, having been rearranging the insides of the mini spider-bot for the past five minutes. Blowing out an exhale, he glances at you - or rather, behind you.

His eyes then trail to your face. A slow, smug smile spreads across his features.

Setting the screwdriver aside, he walks over to the desk.

You realize he needs something from behind you, something lost among the many miscellaneous tech items resting against the wall. However, from the strange gleam in his eyes, you doubt that's all he needs, and he hasn't asked you to move yet. So you plant your hands on the table in preparation to scooch over and make room for him.

To your surprise, Syntax stops your motions by politely - yet firmly - placing one hand on your knee.

You swallow. Uh oh.

Syntax smiles kindly at you. "That's not necessary."

"But I-"

"Perhaps you're forgetting your instructions? Move, and the deal is off," Syntax continues, effectively shutting you up. With a gentle squeeze to your knee, he winks. "So stay."

That kind smile was a ruse, a dirty trick that had momentarily lowered your guard.

Syntax finds it incredibly easy to simply lean right over you to retrieve whatever he needed from the table. He's taller than you, his height even more prominent when you're sitting down. You have to tilt your chin upward so it just barely brushes his shoulder, heart beat suddenly wild.

It stops.

It skips beats.

It has no fucking clue how to react.

"U-Um-"

"Just a moment," Syntax says, which is so informative. You can practically feel his smirk, can taste the amusement reeking off of him.

Also his perfume. Not to mention his natural scent.

Smells good. Heat blossoms in your cheeks, your mouth quite dry as you attempt to swallow. The phone in your hands slips from your laxed grip into Syntax's palm, and you don't even try to object.

The scientist fusses with something behind you for a good ten seconds, giving you plenty of time to work up quite a flustered storm in both your head and your face. In the end, when he leans back, you're shivering despite the blanket, cheeks on fire.

The spider demon smirks.

Job well done, his eyes seem to say, green and mocking.

"Enjoying your visit thus far?" He says musingly, eyebrows raised. When you give no answer, he scoffs and brushes his bangs to one side. "You have permission to speak, I suppose. For now."

You simply glare, no longer wanting to cuddle anymore.

No.

You want to attack, like the little gremlin you are. Revenge tastes sweet, yessir.

"Not answering," you huff, hoping for a drink.

Which is certainly answer enough. Syntax's drops and he shrugs as if to say, you're loss. He's still a close distance from you, looking down at your blanket-swaddled frame. "You'd rather go back to bed and give up this . . . whatever this is?"

When he'd gestured to you, your eyes fall to his hands, unwilling to keep eye contact.

"I just . . ."

Angry for being at such a loss for words, you glare at the floor.

Syntax's expression softens.

He seems to realize what's up. With a faint sigh of fond exasperation, he rests his hands on either side of you, on the desk, and lowers himself to your eye level.

"Why did you really come down here. To me," Syntax murmurs, eyes half lidded.

You stiffen. "Well . . . I . . ."

He's smiling now, fingers ghosting along your arm. "Did you miss me that much?"

"More like worried you'd kill yourself working too hard," you grumble.

"Hmm. I'm touched," Syntax comments, gently taking your hand in his. Raising it to his lips, he presses a soft kiss to your knuckles, eyes trained on you. This time, you bite your lip so hard you taste blood.

Say it.

It's certainly a last ditch effort, an idea you're not exactly proud of.

However, as we all say, for the greater good.

"It . . . it just hurts to see you neglect your own health," you whisper, as though your confession is something forbidden.

Your words fill Syntax's ears.

He blinks, lips parting in surprise. You catch the guilt flash across his face.

At that moment, you seize your chance.

Syntax didn't know.

He had no clue that you were also putting on an act to dissuade him from the real deal (although your confession still have a ring of truth to them).

Karma is a bitch.

Hauling the blanket with you, you launch yourself at Syntax and wrap yourself around him, legs hooking around his waist. The blanket had fallen in such a way that it now covers both of your heads, giving way to a new kind of darkness that you quite like.

He gasps, hands instinctively flying down to support you.

With eyes of steel, you grab his face.

"Sleep," you beg, expression set aglow by the soft shine of Syntax's green eyes. Cracking a fond smile, you kiss his nose. "Cuddle with me."

You kiss his forehead. "I love you and I want you to be healthy."

Then, you pinch his cheek. "Don't make me use force."

Syntax is effectively breathless, words simply abandoning him when he needs them most. Your actions had startled him for sure, and thankfully he'd caught you or you'd be on your ass right now, drowning in shame. For now, you remain thankful and patient in his arms, thumb absently brushing his cheek.

Finally, Syntax sighs in resignation. "I knew I'd fail to achieve anything with your constant nagging."

"Is that a yes?"

A yawn - you knew he was tired. "I suppose it was."

Relief pours through you, and you remove the blanket from over both your heads. It falls back around your shoulders like a fluffy cape.

"Then let's be off," you say, yawning ass well.

He obeys, perhaps sad to leave his project yet his body is relaxed. Carrying you still, he leaves the cave and walks down the tunnel. You hug him tighter, burying your face in the crook of his neck and breathing deeply.

"I can't believe you did this on a daily basis before we met."

Syntax clears his throat. "With good reason."

"Give me one good reason, then."

Silence.

He's tired. It brings a smile to your face, because so are you, and it would suck to have forced him to do something he isn't ready for.

Now you can look forward to sleeping with peace of mind.

#lmk #lego monkie kid #lmk syntax #syntax x reader #oneshot #fluff #tw light suggestive themes #you dont have to take it that way tho #syntax workaholic #both of you are scheming idiots in love #i mean that in a good way #thanks for the ask!#had sm fun writing this #long post

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knickynoo · 1 year

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BTTF: The Animated Series, s01ep02, "A Family Vacation" Review and Commentary

Previous episodes will get linked HERE. (top of page)

I didn't mention in my last post, but I have seen the first season before--about 2 years ago. I have basically no memory of it (I guess my brain was like, "yeah, no, we don't need this" and just dumped it), so this is a lot like watching again for the first time. Never seen the second season, so that'll be all new to me.

In this episode: We travel to England, Doc duels with one of Biff's ancestors, and we meet Marty's goofy relative Harold McFly.

Ok, let's jump in.

Interesting. I thought all these episodes began with Real Doc in his lab, but this one seems to skip that part and goes straight to animation. Christopher Lloyd is narrating, though, which is nice, I suppose. Still not as good as getting to actually see him. Automatic points deducted from this episode for not immediately showing me Doc's face. More Real Doc, less cartoon, please. Thanks.

I am thrilled to announce that we have found Clara! (she did not appear at all in episode 1) She's voiced by none other than Clara herself, Mary Steenburgen.

As you may be able to tell, she's shed her 1885 attire in favor of modern clothes. And right away, we learn that she's become super tech-savvy as well. The Brown house has many futuristic features to it (either from Doc's travels or his own inventions) and Clara is using two of them here. The device on her leg allows her to work out without actually having to move, and the thing on her finger has some sort of laser feature that allows her to grade school papers on a screen across the room. And I can only wonder how it is that Clara has managed to get a job teaching in a modern school—not so much because of any gaps in knowledge she may have (Clara's super smart, I'm sure she could catch up) but because I'm wondering about the interview process. Surely she must have had to show identification and fill out forms. I can only assume that Doc has gotten forged documentation somehow for his entire family with made up birth years, medical records, etc.

I would have liked an episode about that. Kids would've enjoyed an episode all about Doc creating fake birth records for his wife and kids, right? Right??

Elsewhere in the house, Jules and Verne are busy playing with remote control cars and an elaborate model train set. Hmm...seems like this episode is setting up lots of scenes with technology in preparation to give us the ol' "too much tech is bad for you" lesson.

Our good buddy Doc is even in on the tech craze. He's busy building robot arms that will turn newspaper pages for him so he doesn't have to do it himself, lol. Unfortunately, this causes a power surge, and all the lights in the house go off. The family is not happy. Doc comes to the realization that they've all become spoiled by technology. He declares that they all need to take a vacation to a time without electricity and ushers them to the DeLorean.

As the car flies off into the sky, Marty and Jennifer are walking down the street.

Um. That's—that's Jennifer. Yeah. I don't know what happened there. Her design upsets me. Marty is still in his silly letterman jacket. I'm thisclose to photoshopping a denim jacket onto him. Why is he wearing high-waisted jeans?

As they watch the car, Marty tells Jennifer, "I don't guess we'll be borrowing the car tonight." So, apparently, he's allowed to take the DeLorean through time all willy-nilly whenever he wants? That sounds like an absolutely horrible idea.

Doc takes the fam to England in 1367 because I guess he figures a good dose of dysentery will help put things in perspective for them? Anyway, he uses this high-tech camera thing to "change" all their clothes into Medieval ones. He says it's only an illusion that lasts a few hours, though. Idk, don't think about it too hard. To ensure the family all stays put and "enjoys" the trip, he programs the DeLorean to fly away, back to present day, and return later on to pick them up. There is no way that can possibly go wrong.

Clara is not happy with her husband.

"Of all the pig-headed, insensitive, macho things you've ever done, this takes the cake," she says. And. Can we just talk about how un-Doc-like those descriptors are? Insensitive? Macho?? OUR DOC? Cartoon Clara and Doc have a weird dynamic in this so far. I don't like the exasperated wife with a bumbling, inconsiderate husband trope.

We soon meet Lord Biffingham, Earl of Tannenshire. If you read my episode 1 review, you know that Thomas F. Wilson voices all Tannens in the show. He's really a bright spot in this series because the guy can do so many fun voices. We'll meet many more Tannen relatives in the show—Biff evidently has family roots all over the globe. Lord Biffingham orders Clara to be kidnapped by his cronies. Uh oh. Doc is also kidnapped. Double uh oh! It's up to Jules and Verne to save the day now.

They soon meet one of Marty's relatives! Harold McFly of the Sussex McFlys. Here they are all hanging upside down in a tree because they got caught in rope traps.

Those are traps Harold set, btw. He caught himself in his own trap. I love him already. Harold tells the boys that he's vowed revenge against Biffingham for stealing away "his lady" Jennivere (assumed to be one of Jennifer's relatives due to the name and fact she is literally just the Jennifer character from the earlier scene but in Medieval clothing). They team up to try to sneak into Biffingham's castle to rescue Doc, Clara, and Jennivere.

Meanwhile, Lord Biffingham asks Clara to marry him. First, though, he has to kill Doc. Yep. So far, we've had a Civil War episode featuring guns being pointed at Jules and Verne, and now a murder plot. Very fun.

Doc, however, isn't too concerned with his predicament. He's locked in a dungeon, having a grand ol' time identifying various bugs and rodents by their scientific names. And while I can't see Real Doc being quite so calm in such a time of crisis, I can see him taking breaks from his panic to be like, "Oooh, rattus norvegicus." (That's literally just a Brown Rat, btw. Doc is fascinated at seeing it.)

We go back to Marty Harold, Jules, and Verne, who are enacting their plot to infiltrate the castle. Harold sings and says some things to the guards, but I can only understand like a third of the words coming out his mouth because of his exaggerated accent. Harold what are you saying.

Lord Biffingham prepares for a jousting tournament against Doc, during which he plans to "eliminate" Doc. Biffingham has this massive horse, tons of fancy armor, and a huge sword thing. Doc has this:

I mean. I dunno, I believe in you, Doc.

Jules and Verne show up just in time to rig Doc's pathetic little "horse" with their motorized car that they snuck on the trip, which makes it go super fast. He's able to avoid Biffingham's attacks for a while, but eventually gets captured. Biffingham orders Doc, Jules, Verne, Harold, and even poor Einstein to be executed.

Doc makes a joke about himself and the boys being the first people to ever die before they were born and I just. I feel like this isn't the time for jokes, Doc? Your children are about to die and also—ALSO!—one of Marty's relatives, thus causing him to never be born in the future. Your vacation is destroying entire family lineages, Doc. This show belongs in the horror genre.

It's Clara who ends up saving the guys just in time! She and Jennivere use a ton of fabric to somehow make a hot air balloon, and they throw ropes down and fly the gang away.

With everyone free, Harold and Jennivere are reunited! He says it isn't safe for them to stay in England but he doesn't know where they can go. Doc suggests *drum roll* Ireland! And there are several things that come to my mind here.

One of Marty's relatives and one of Jennifer's relatives got married in the 1300s, moved to Ireland, and had kids—establishing the McFly family line in Ireland.

According to this, Doc is the one who caused the McFlys to even go there in the first place. So. How did they end up there originally? I guess Harold and Jennivere eventually decided on Ireland as well on their own.

It's Clara who helps to free Jennivere from the castle. Who got her out in the original timeline? Maybe Harold?

Shhh, Nikki, it's a cartoon

Anyway, Harold and Jennivere fly off to Ireland right that very moment in the hot air balloon.

Byeee! Goodbye Harold and Jennivere! Enjoy life in Ireland, you crazy kids.

I miss Seamus. I wish he was in this cartoon. That would make it better, I think.

Wait, wait. I just got sidetracked looking at the Animated Series wiki, and it turns out the opening live-action segment of Doc from this episode was cut from the DVDs, which is where I'm watching this on. It was apparently of him flying above Hill Valley in a hot air balloon. Why was this stolen from me?

Let's wrap this up. We finally get to see Real Doc! We also get one of my absolute favorite gags in all of media. And that is: when a character falls from a big height or is getting dragged or spun around and it's very obviously a fake, stuffed dummy. I cannot describe how much this gag amuses me. It is the peak of comedy, and more shows and movies should use it. Look.

It is hysterical. I watched this gif loop upwards of 15 times.

Based on the context I now have regarding the removed opening segment, it appears that Doc fell from his hot air balloon. He recovered from the lethal plummet like a champ. Must be due to the medical overhaul in 2015.

Bill Nye then shows us how to make our own hot air balloon using a plastic bag and hair dryer. That's basically the end of the episode.

Overall, I'd rank this episode as being better than the previous one. I did miss Marty, though; he was only in those 10 seconds at the beginning. But Harold was a fun guy. I like that they're keeping with the "all of Marty's relatives look just like him" thing. (Except for Arthur and George, of course)

Join me next time to see dinosaurs wearing clothes.

#back to the future #bttf #bttf: the animated series

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theglowstickchronicles · 6 months

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Long whiny personal update under the cut

Up early cause I picked up call today cause I need the moneys. I haven’t been the best tumblr friend lately, going a week or two between posting and not responding to anyone else’s posts. It’s been a really difficult autumn so far. If it makes y’all feel better I’ve also been a shitty friend IRL too.

Back in mid-September I got a regular old headache on a day off, took an Excedrin and sumatriptan that didn’t help but didn’t think much of it. Went to work the next day and it got progressively worse until I was cold sweating, nauseous, shaking, and having trouble seeing. My manager and both assistant managers were on of course and bullied me into going to the ED. Was there for about 8 hours getting CT scan, MRI, blood work, migraine cocktail, and neuro consult. Ended up being put back on my old dose of diamox and a 3-day course of prednisone with an emergent visit to my neuro-ophthalmologist the following week (since this was a Friday night).

She doubled my dose of diamox and started me on topiramate. We staggered this to try and suss out side effects and y’all…. Jesus Christ.

Without any attempt at eating better/dieting and absolutely 0 exercising (I actually had to cancel my hiking trip to the White Mountains / my first of the NE67, super sad) I’ve lost 15 lbs since Sept. 20. My days off are spent mostly laying in bed, although I picked up 4 hours of OT at work the other week and finally got a TV for my living room so now days off can also be spent on the couch. I didn’t decorate for Halloween. I haven’t mowed my lawn in a month (although to be fair it’s been super rainy on like every single day off, thanks New England). Haven’t picked my pumpkins from the garden yet! My house has been absolutely disgusting with bare minimum amounts of cleaning because I’m so tired and feel so shitty, although I just spent the last two days really working on it because I’m hoping to get my basement finally redone in the next few weeks.

Also started going to therapy cause like…this is not how I want to be living my life and sometimes I wake up and wish I hadn’t? And also like I stepped on Duncan’s foot the other day by accident and had a complete MELTDOWN about it. Like he’s fine and I still feel guilty and teary about it. Also. Like. I had a 5 year plan to start trying for kids soon cause I’m getting old and now I’m SOL???

Anyway. My therapist wants me to journal more and I HATE it but I’m gonna start tumblr-ing more and see if that helps. Will not be telling her that lol.

Thanks for dealing with me.

#personal

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deadlifts-and-deadlines · 4 months

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Gonna dump everything from my appointment yesterday here so I can remember it.

Rheum wanted GI to switch me to Rinvoq after positive RA diagnosis in November. GI doesn’t want to switch me off Stelara because it seems to be working, even though the last couple months have been a little rough. We looked at my injection schedule against my notes on when I started getting sick again each month and determined that I am metabolizing Stelara quickly and would benefit from moving my doses to every six weeks as opposed to eight weeks. So we’re going to see if insurance will allow that. Basically, I’ve already been through two of the strongest biologics for Crohn’s, and the doctor doesn’t want to prematurely take me off Stelara until we’ve exhausted all my options with it bc once I’m off it I will build up antibodies. He would much rather see me add in methotrexate, hydroxychloriquine or plaquinel rather than disrupt something that is actually working for me. Which I agree with - and I actually had huge reservations about Rinvoq. I was willing to try it, but I would have been disappointed had it come to that bc I really don’t want a daily oral medication and the side effects - mainly severe acne and sun/heat sensitivity- made me nervous.

Honesty, I’m relived we aren’t giving up on Stelara. I do think I came off the Humira too quickly, even though I think ultimately I would have had to do it anyway regardless. The fact that I had injection site reactions every time wasn’t good, even without factoring the major joint pain. But I was at the point where I would do anything to avoid that shoulder pain, so I didn’t hesitate to stop.

So yeah. Stelara every six weeks if insurance will approve it. Need to get back to rheum to see if I can get an RX over the phone for the RA or if I will have to wait until my next appointment in June. GI also told me that if a joint locks up again I can go to the ER for injections to help it unlock and pain killers, and that an ER visit would likely help me get into rheumatology sooner. They’re scheduling me for another colonoscopy, and honestly I am stoked, lol. Post colonoscopy is the only time I’ve ever felt truly “cleared out” and I am a very data driven person so I will be happy to have something to compare the colonoscopy from 2022 to. I had labs yesterday and they all came back within the normal range. Have to take in a stool sample this week. Honestly, things went as well as they could have, I think.

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dreaminginstasis · 5 months

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re: my mum - on wednesday night she was playing with margot (my cat) on her bed like she does every night when she goes to bed. margot’s favourite thing for some reason is to be poked with the tv remote (lol) so mum was doing that and margot tried to get it off her like usual but missed the remote and gently bit mum’s hand. mum said it didn’t hurt and it was truly an accident and she didn’t think much of it, but then thursday morning when she woke up her hand was quite swollen and it hurt to move her fingers. we went to the doctors together (I needed an appt so I thankfully was able to book her one at the same time) and by this point (11:45am) she was almost in tears from the pain and the swelling was getting worse. they gave her a tetanus shot at the clinic and a prescription for 875mg of amoxicillin which we filled straight after we left the doctors and mum was to have a double dose. cue today - her hand was even worse. I asked her if she wanted me to take her to the hospital before I went to work and she said no, she didn’t want to wait for ages in the emergency department. I said ok, that’s alright, but if it stays like it is or gets worse then you need to go. it felt really really hot and she still couldn’t move her fingers or hand and she said the pain was going up to her elbow. she ended up calling health direct around midday and told them what had happened and they told her to go straight to hospital. our lovely neighbour took her straight there and they admitted her quickly. they gave her an IV push of antibiotics and said they’re going to have to do it every 8 hours. she had an xray and thankfully it hadn’t gone to the bone. then the doctor sent pictures of her hand (and now wrist/lower arm) to a colleague at the RAH and he said that it’s cellulitis and she needs to be transferred and he wants to operate under a general anaesthetic to clean it out tomorrow morning. mum is in shock and so am I - all of this from such a tiny little prick of margot’s teeth! I’ve attached some pictures below of her hand in order from thursday morning at the doctor’s to what she sent me this evening. they had to cut off her rings at the hospital too :( anyway I then had a panic attack because I was worried for her and also because I have been having a flare up of panic attacks for the first time in a couple of years and I think being alone triggered it but I’m ok now I just laid down for a bit and drank a bunch of water 🥲

content warning under the cut: swollen hand/arm and some blood (don’t look at picture 5 and 6 if you don’t want to see blood!)

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airedelalmena · 8 days

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Still trans. Always figured that'd be the case, so I never stopped calling myself that. but lol.

First week or so of my job, I was reading outside before going in, and some young guy says "Bruh. Bruh." and it takes me a beat to realize he means me. "Got any nic?" lol. I didn't but I'm surprised he read me as male even with a purse and crossing my legs like that.... I didn't necessarily mind it, just dismissed it because it wasn't relevant.

...

Yesterday, the cook at work was being annoying as fuck and pushy with me. He is so weird like that -- he thinks he's my boss and acts like I'm incompetent. But then is nicer, other times. As one of the other fellas said, "he's a backstabber." So I'm on alert for that. Anyway, we were discussing some kitchen need and he said "Yes, sir -- uh, I mean, yes, ma'am." I could tell it wasn't sarcastic...he is kind of dumb, not gonna lie, and it was obvious he was kind of embarrassed as he covered it up. I legit think that it Just Came Out That Way. lol. I didn't mind it; in fact I liked it.

Other personal stuff is making it pretty clear to me too, but yeah.

I always knew I was bigender. It was the first label I used when I was figuring all this out, years ago. Kept going back to it. Just didn't realize how hard I could swing in one direction versus another, based on things totally out of my control.

It's so parallel to bisexuality. The way that people get these "cycles/swings" in one direction or another. And it has to be hormonally influenced, IMO. But social influences also play a huge role.

Who knows what death, grief, mourning etc do to the body's system, also, if we're going to go there? These are not separate processes. The brain, the nervous system, these lie inside your body.... And then there's the spiritual aspect where it seems pretty clear something that we call a "soul" does exist regardless of the word for it: Whatever animates the body, making us not just a body, a piece of flesh. Whatever leaves said body when we die. Whatever makes us LGBT is intimately connected to that.

And it's almost always a delusion when someone thinks that their "other side" of their bi-ness just fully went into nonexistence. It's still there. It will swing back for you to be faced with it, sooner or later. If you have a major preference, ok, tons of people do. But that sliver will still exist in some form, probably.

Anyway...juggling this and managing a transition is going to be...interesting. I always knew that. (I wish she were here to see it....) I need to masculinize enough to meet my dysphoria, but not so much that it sets off what I can only describe as other dysphoria. I always related to some things that trans women wrote. Like the hating of the five o'clock shadow, seeing one trans woman describe it as "the grey mask" and knowing I would feel the exact same way. Knowing I will need to avoid that, that and total loss of the original vocal range. Low-dose and probably not being on it forever. Vocal self-training to reach the lower end and retain the higher end of my voice. Etc. Etc. Etc.

#personal #grief

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user-59861931 · 1 year

Text

DBH Hogwarts AU

I saw a post of connor as Slytherin and i 100% agree with that, so i just had to put everyone in there rightful house.

Ships: Connor x Markus

Content warnings: None (no spell check lol)

Slytherin

• Connor ~ like i said connor would definitely be a slytherin. and i don’t want to hear “no i think he’d be a gryfindor or he’d be a ravenclaw bc-“ no your wrong i’m right. (/hj)

- Conner looks all sweet and nice but would kick ur ass when u least suspect it.

- Not to mention the fact that he lies and uses his words in a very particular way to get what he what’s when he needs it. (not saying all Slytherin’s lie. I am one so not trying to come at my fellow Slytherins or anything)

- I like to think that in this AU Hank is the headmaster and that Connor is his son. (Biologically) Connor def pull that “Well i could just go tell my dad” card just to fuck with people.

• Kara ~ I feel like a lot of people would think Kara is a Hufflepuff but i actually feel like Alice would be The Hufflepuff (Alice would be Kara’s little sister in this AU) and Kara would be a Slytherin.

- Like Alice would be like “Come on Kara let’s just help them” or “No lets not do that it’s bad Kara” But then Kara just be like “stfu” and do it anyway. (kinda like what she dose in the game depending on what you chose.

- But even is Kara isn’t a Hufflepuff i feel like she would be a healer type witch and really love potions.

- She’d wouldn’t be a prefect (bc u know she be getting in trouble for stupid shit) but would be really respected and all the 1st year Slytherins would look up to her.

Slytherin (Side character Edition)

Chloe ~ She gives prefect Slytherin vibes.

Kamski ~ Do i even need to explain that one?

Gavin ~ He’s that type of Slytherin that try’s to act all tough and be all scary but in reality he’s just a softy. He’d never admit it though.

Gryffindor

• Hank ~ He may be a grumpy grumpy old man in his 50s now but oh boy he was the Definition of Gryffindor back in his day.

- Like i said he’s the Headmaster of hogwarts and he has a very love hate relationship with his job.

- Dose not give a shit that Connor is in Slytherin House. That’s his son, he’s not gonna care what house he’s in. No matter what he will love him.

- Will pull Connor out of class to ask him stupid questions. Like he will have Connor thinking he in trouble but in reality hank just wants to know what shirt he should wear to the school council next meeting.

• Markus ~ He is the head seeker for the Gryffindor team. Just has that golden boy vibe too him. (oh yeah btw Carl would be his dad in this AU but he’s just adopted)

- (remember how i said the ship in this was Connor x Markus. yeah that comes into play now) Markus can get any girl he wants he’s mister popular and everyone loves him.

- But he is absolutely head over heals for Connor and no one knows it expect himself. He fell so god dam hard and for the headmasters son out of all people.

- He’d look for him when he’s playing games sometimes getting distracted. One time he even fell off his broom.

Gryffindor (Side Character edition)

North ~ She has that classic chaotic Gryffindor feel to her.

Simon ~ That one Chill Gryffindor that’s high all the time.

Ralph ~ Would have way to much school spirt and everyone would think he’s wired. But in reality he just wants a friend and maybe a hug.

Leo ~ (Don’t get me wrong i hate Leo as much as the next person but in this AU he’s Markus brother so yk) Would be all upset about how his stupid adopted brother is the popular one and not him.

Ravenclaw

(no more main character left expect for Alice so Ravenclaw just gets bullet points. i’m sorry 😕. )

Lucy ~ Would be The head teacher of Ravenclaw and would teach Astronomy and be a sub for potions.

Luther ~ He’s a big teddy bear Ravenclaw. Like any classic Ravenclaw he’d always have his head in a book and a big passion for learning.

Carl ~ was a chaotic and mysterious ravenclaw/ wizard in his school days.

Perkins ~ this ass would be a Ravenclaw and we all know it.

Daniel ~ Don’t ask me why he just is.

Hufflepuff

Alice ~ Like i said before she’s just a scared little Hufflepuff clinging too her sister. (Her and Kara would live alone in a small apartment btw. No Todd in this AU.

- Would be a 1st year while Markus, Kara, and Connor would be in year 6.

- If she doesn’t have class would probably go looking for Kara but Kara would have too push he out of nest so she could make her own friends.

-Stright A’s and would probably be a Perfect when she got older. (I can also picture her being a teacher at Hogwarts when she’s older.)

Huffelpuff (Side Character edition)

Josh ~ Your gonna look at me and tell me he’s not a Huffelpuff? Yeah that’s what i thought.

Jerry ~ Would bake all the 1st years cookie on the 1st day of school.

Thanks all sm for reading :D Probably gonna me a short fic of Connor and Markus in this AU.

#dbh #dbh au #connor x markus #dbh connor #dbh kara #dbh simon #dbh north #dbh josh #dbh headcanon #hogwarts au #i am right #you are wrong #dbh hank #connor and hank #dbh alice

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