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#have yet to run into one that wasn't just a matter of finding the right flavour for me
lizardkingeliot · 2 days
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Fair warning this is going to be a mess and my brain is running on fumes so... bear with me lol.
I'm thinking about Louis not uttering Lestat's name for 23 years until he starts unloading on a stranger trying to convince himself Lestat was nothing to him. He wasn't in LOVE what are you TALKING about. He wasn't a great musician who wrote me love songs so infuriatingly perfect I swam the Mississippi to bite him like a cat and fuck him on the floor! Lestat wasn't that great at all I promise look at me, Daniel, do I look like the sort of guy who would lie about something like that!!!
I'm thinking about how what Louis was doing here wasn't actually that at all. Armand read him for filth because he's always known who the real love of Louis' life is, hasn't he? And Louis couldn't bear it anymore. He couldn't find Lestat (which begs the question WHY they were separated after Paris if Louis knows he isn't dead at this point but I guess the show will tell us that in the upcoming episodes lol), and this was going to be his way out. Had he been searching for him in secret? Did Armand know? I'm thinking prooooobably not but I guess we'll have to see what happens in Paris and in the final three episodes to be sure why Louis was so INSISTENT he didn't want to see Lestat even while very obviously trying to do just that. I assume it has to do with the events surrounding The Trial???? A desperate attempt to protect Lestat (wherever he may be) from Armand? Who knows!
I'm thinking about Louis insisting all he did was talk trash about Lestat and Armand immediately answering... that's not exactly how you talked about him to me. Yet Armand says Lestat's name hasn't been uttered in 23 years. Which would have been around 1950 in the timeline. Right after Paris. So clearly we're meant to understand Louis confided something about the true nature of his relationship with Lestat to Armand. Yet Louis insisted right there in that coffin that Lestat was his maker and nothing more. Again, I guess we'll just have to wait for the end of the season to see how we're meant to piece that whole thing together lol.
I'm thinking about the way the show let us hear Lestat's voice as he spoke to Louis through Armand. They let US hear Lestat insisting Armand tell Louis "I love you". Yet that's not something Louis could possibly remember because he didn't hear it. Which seems confusing but it's actually confirming this theory I've had brewing in my head that the show intentionally shows us things Louis isn't actually saying in the interview. Like making out with Dreamstat in the park. If you rewatch 2x03 there's no way Louis actually told Daniel and Armand about that. Or in this case, it's the show showing us something Louis can't possibly know himself.
And I'm thinking... why? The only real reason to do that is to drive home that what we're watching is in fact the Louis and Lestat love story at its core. I mean... think about it. Every iteration we've seen of Lestat this season has been so ROMANTIC. They were so in LOVE. All the stuff Louis tried his best to omit in season one is leaking in around the cracks like sunlight through the slats of a window shade and it's only a matter of time before that shade is opened...
Also. One more thing. Not to dump allll of this in one post but....... we finally got confirmation in this episode that Armand IS messing with Louis' head and erasing things and overwriting memories and I am foaming at the mouth waiting to see what else is in there Louis doesn't know about...
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kyeomkuppie · 2 days
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Friends.
Pairing: Lee Chan x gn!reader
Genre: angst
Synopsis: You get stood up by your boyfriend for the nth time, which leads Chan to get frustrated and finally confess (in the rain).
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Chan wasn't exactly in his right kind when he ran out of the practice room, without an umbrella when it was raining just because you called, only saying one thing
"Chan, come pick me up."
It was the nth time your boyfriend promised you a date, only to "forget" and leave you hanging. He wasn't exactly the best boyfriend either, and that's what chan has been trying to tell you for the past year and a half.
He never treated you like how you deserved (in Chan's opinion) and always seemed to prioritize anything but you. And today was one of those days where you were left crying on the street because, yet again, you were left alone.
Rain was seeping through your clothes and the fact that you were wearing white wasn't exactly pleasant either. You had your arms to your chest and your head down. You were also in a daze, you wanted to get to the nearest store to buy an umbrella, but you also wanted to fall down and cry.
A few weeks back you found out that your boyfriend started dating you for a dare. But it didn't make sense be the asked you on a date and maybe he wanted to fix things. Explain maybe? Yeah, what a fool.
And now back to the present on the day of said date, you tried calling your boyfriend multiple times but you were only directed to voicemail. He finally picked up 15 minutes after, only to yell at you and tell you to stop being too clingy and to top it all off, he broke up with you, on the phone, with no explanation.
Yeah, not the best choice of a boyfriend.
Your knees were clanking together as you were waiting for Chan, your best friend who has basically been the light of your life. When you felt like the whole world turned their backs on you, he didn't. He always stood by your side, even if he could barely bear the title of "friends".
"[name]!" Your head shit up as you heard a familiar voice, he was running to you, all wet and soaked but with only you on his mind. He didn't mind the possible cold he'd catch the next morning, or how sore his body would be from all the running. All that mattered was you.
He had an angered expression you'd never seen on him before. It was scary, and yet, when he was right in front of you it felt like everything was starting to make sense again.
"Didn't I tell you to stop hanging around that bastard! He has done nothing but make you cry." He was breathing heavily and you didn't have the heart to talk back to him, because he was right.
"And why are you standing there so pathetically, when you should go and punch him in the nose this instant." He quickly took off his jacket to cover you, despite how mad he was, he was never truly too mas to care for you.
"You'll get cold..." you mumbled as he was giving you his jacket.
"God...what will I ever do with you," he threw his head back in frustration "why are you concerned about me right now, it's you who's suffering, it's you who has been wronged. Worry about yourself, please." He pleaded you.
It was the first time he sounded so desperate, why?
"Chan, I understand you're worried but you shouldn't care so much, it's all because—"
"It's all because of your poor choice-making!" He yelled "I've told you dozens of times to break up with him and find someone who'd treat you better, but you never listen!"
"Exactly," you said quietly "it's my fault, why would you care?"
"God, you're too frustrating..." He grabbed you by you shoulders and looked you in the eyes. "I can treat you better, [name]. I will, I promise I will, but please, for your well-being, break up with him!" He was now full-on yelling. This seemed to have woken up something within you. All the pent up frustration was now making it's way on the surface.
"What are you talking about Chan, treat me better? Chan we're friends and I get that you're worried but I don't understand." You yelled back.
"I don't care about what's right anymore, I care about you [name]! You shouldn't do this to yourself. Not when there are tons of people who're better than whatever piece of trash you picked up to date." He exhaled sharply "I love you so fucking much, and it's driving me insane to see you like this."
You wanted to tell him about your break up that happened minutes ago before before you found yourself grabbing his face and smashing your lips onto his.
You were both cold, shivering, but the sensation of both your lips together spread warmth all through your body.
His hand snuck to your waist as he pulled you closer to try to deepen the kiss. It was desperate and emotional, like he was waiting for this moment for years (he has).
You decided to break the kis to whisper "I'm sorry...I got carried away." But he only pulled you back, but this time more aggressive.
You were now both breathing heavily looking into each other's eyes.
"You know...he broke up with me 10 minutes ago. Before you gave me that lecture." You said, embarrassed.
"Now, I take it that you're all mine." He said shyly.
"All yours."
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Reblogs and comments are appreciated!
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2neaky · 3 days
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I DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET TO YOU୨ৎ
— ೀ𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙰𝙻 𝙼𝙴𝙳𝙸𝙰 𝙵𝙸𝙲 | 𝙼𝚞𝚕𝚝𝚒 𝙲𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙵𝚒𝚌ੈ P3
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| 𝘼𝙧𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙩 𝙉𝙖𝙣𝙖𝙢𝙞/𝙄𝙣𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚𝙧 𝘽𝙡𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧! | -> Part 2 here
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nanami doesn't even remember when he fell asleep. but, he awoke the next day, refreshed ... at 3 in the afternoon. luckily, he hasn't been called in.
after getting himself ready, despite having lost half of the day already, nanami decides that he'll treat himself to lunch at his favorite pub in the city. he never gets to visit the area often, it's always a treat.
in an effort to admire his surroundings, nanami takes a streetcar. usually, the passing sights always catch his eyes—the perfect distraction needed to take his mind off of whatever clouds it in the moment.
however, this time is different: unfortunately, he's become "chronically online," rendering it near impossible for him to focus on anything but his phone. he'll never admit that out loud, though.
ignoring his dms and neglecting to respond to any of the thousands of comments flooding his posts, he elects to scroll through his home page. there's a part of him that's just waiting to run into one of her posts. it feels more organic that way, rather than just heading straight to her page.
whatever makes him feel better about himself.
being that he only follows about 100 people—now 101—there's never really much content to scroll through. which makes it all the easier to spot the brand-new woman on his timeline.
he turns his screen brightness down, almost embarrassed to be publicly following the woman. but why? the post he stumbled on is fairly innocent.
and now that he's thinking about this for longer than a second, he's starting to feel a little bit silly. so he turns the brightness of his screen back up, just a little. still, he tilts his phone away from the view of the older woman sitting next to him.
with a nervous swallow, he takes more time than his socially acceptable to stare at the picture.
just before the streetcar arrives at his stop, he contemplates unfollowing her account. she wasn't the type of influencer he followed anyway, and he stands to gain nothing from her content. it's pointless ogling at a woman so far removed from his reality.
the streetcar slows to a stop, and nanami pockets his phone, leaving to head to his favorite food spot. User @ Kento_ART still follows 101 accounts.
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nanami can’t keep lying to himself. he’s starting to become obsessed with this woman. he only comes on instagram to like this woman’s posts at this point, neglecting his followers.
every story post she makes he views. and that’s how he finds out about her youtube channel. she posted hauls of all kinds, makeup reviews, “girl-talks,” and day-in-the-life vlogs.
it was nowhere near his typical niche of interests. and yet, he finds himself being an avid watcher of her content. a subscriber, even.
god, it’s really ridiculous.
like, why is he so interested in her? what about her keeps him coming back??
in his deep dive into her public life, he’s come to know more about this woman than he should. it’s gotten parasocial for sure.
for one, y/n’s been on youtube for a long time. she’s even got over 2 million subscribers. 5.3 million followers on instagram.
she lives in georgia—a southern belle. she’s even got the cute accent.
she makes content full time, although she has a nursing career to fall back on. which, he really likes, he can’t lie. maybe it’s the bias.
she’s had two previous relationships that were far more public than they needed to be. after the last one, she decided to keep her romantic life private.
but as far as he—and all of her other 5 million followers—knows, y/n is currently single. not that it matters. even if she wasn't, it doesn't affect him in any way.
it shouldn't.
besides, she's entitled to her privacy. she has a right to hide her personal life. he holds his social media to the same standards. plus, y/n gives so much of her life to social media anyway. she deserves to keep a few things hidden.
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that thought has got nanami feeling like a fool, because the longer he follows her, the more he wants to know. more than what she posts, despite y/n spoiling her followers rotten with content.
though he never comments on any posts, he has joined the bevy of her fans—they're way past being called "supporters" at this point—crying for new videos each week and to post more on instagram.
any free time he gets, he's checking her pages. she doesn't go live often, once in a blue moon, but he's the notifications on for her. and he makes sure to never miss one. even if they're never that long or she doesn't talk about the most interesting topics.
he just enjoys watching her talk, fascinated by her life and such.
fuck, how did he get sucked into this?
he's a grown man. a sugeon for crying out loud. and here he is, obsessed with a woman online who will never know who he is.
truthfully, nanami's okay with never meeting y/n. he doesn't even think it's within the realm of possibilities for them to be in the same area at once.
yep, he's totally ... fine with that.
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"so ... when were you gonna tell me that you got a girlfriend?"
nanami almost chokes on his food. "excuse me?" he coughs out, dabbing at the corners of his mouth with a napkin.
yu's smirk grows into a mischievous grin. "Don't go deaf on me now."
blinking, nanami carefully places down his napkin if only to adjust his glasses, ever so poised. "i don't know what you're talking about."
"yeah, i knew you'd say that." yu is face deep in his phone in an instant, nanami watching him closely. it doesn't take him long to find what he's looking for. "her."
he shoves the device into kento's face, smiling as his friend's eyes widen.
"yu—"
"one of her posts were suggested to me and i saw your like under it. and in all my years of following you, i've never seen you like a woman's photos. not one like this, anyway." yu laughs, noting the gentle flush of his friend's face.
fuck you, instagram.
"so, how long have you guys been together?" too sly for his own good, yu folds his hands under his chin, shoulders resting on the table.
nanami swallows. "that's, uh ... not my girlfriend."
it's painfully obvious that yu feigns shock. "huh, you don't say! y'know ... never thought i'd see the day—"
"yu—"
"that my best buddy, would be under some woman's likes."
he drags a hand down his face. "yu, please—"
"hey, hey! no need to be embarrassed. everyone's got a little internet crush at least once."
the flush on nanami's face deepens in color. "i-it's not a crush," he says with as level a voice as possible. his gaze is downturned, staring at his unfinished food rather than into his friend's eyes.
yu shakes his head with a chuckle. "sure thing, nanami."
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yu's knowledge of his parasocial relationship didn't stop him from being all in her likes. yu's just one person. however, he did scale back on the mass likes.
he could only hope that would keep it from popping up on yu's homepage anymore.
but, the urge to interact with her had gotten stronger. he couldn't just simply admire her, he had to show some form of appreciation. after all, she didn't have to post these things.
would she notice if he commented?
he's verified, and so is she. his eyes widen.
if yu can see his likes under her posts, he's positive that his followers can see it, too. with urgency, he checks the comments of the last post of y/n's that he's liked.
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shit.
throwing his head back, nanami lets out a groan loud enough to shake the walls of his apartment. only a drop of people have noticed his likes in a sea of thousands of other comments.
that's a relief.
exhaling, he squeezes the bridge of his nose, pushing his glasses further up on his face. the ding of his phone breaks him out of his embarrassment for a moment. a message from yu pops down on his screen:
a burner account can help with your visibility issue😉
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yu was right.
nanami felt much safer liking and viewing her posts from a fake page. he even drops a comment every now and then: the typical string of three red 'heart' emojis.
why hadn't he thought of this before?
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greentrickster · 9 months
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Just had a good quality taro mochi mooncake for the first time, and I have been Fundamentally Altered.
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envy-of-the-apple · 3 months
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Earth Kills Moon
Dark!Gojo Satoru x reader
Word count: 6.3k
Part two of Sun Eats Moon
Synopsis: A retelling of Sun Eats Moon in Suguru's perspective
(Warnings: forced relationships, bullying, non con touching, non con kissing)
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Suguru liked you. 
It wasn't even a crush. A passing interest, maybe. You were pretty. You had a nice smile. Though, he'd never directly spoken to you, he could tell that you were kind. Not in the artificial cherry most people were. Natural, like honey, never spoiling. You share the same homeroom as Satoru, and he'd always tended to be observant, unlike his friend. One thing he liked about you was how observant you were. You were constantly looking out for your friends, mere acquaintances, and everyone in your vicinity. Often, Suguru wondered if being a people-pleaser was natural or from a fear of not fitting in. 
Suguru is observant. He notices the lingering gaze Satoru gives you when you walk away, hurrying to catch up with the rest of your friends. Satoru then turns back to the carton of chocolate milk you'd left him.
"Cute," Satoru says after a minute. It's more of an afterthought than anything. He pops the carton open. Suguru hears the fabric tear. He hums in agreement. The topic switches to something else, a hot celebrity maybe? Suguru can't remember. That day had been so insignificant to him. It hadn’t mattered to him for Suguru to remember anything further.
A few days later, Suguru noticed Satoru was spending a lot more time with you. 
It was hard not to notice, actually. His friend attached himself to you like he'd die if he couldn’t. Satoru went everywhere with you now. Suguru caught him walking you from school, offering you rides in his new car, following you to the lunch hall. And if he couldn’t go to where you were, he’d drag you back to him. Watching you and Satoru was a bit like watching two magnets. North pole and South pole. So different, yet constantly finding the other. 
“Tryna’ run away from me, now?” Satoru asks, a teasing lilt in his voice as he watches you fiddle with your bag.
You laugh, continuing to fish out your lunch box. “Just grabbing lunch.” 
“Eat with us,” Satoru insists, “we found a great spot up at the rooftop.” 
You meet Suguru’s gaze just then. He’d been silently lounging on a nearby desk, observing the two of you. He gives a smile. You return it. Polite. He wonders if your mother taught you to smile like that.
“I thought students weren’t allowed up there?” You ask Satoru. 
The boy rolls his eyes. “So, who cares? It’ll be fun.” 
You pause, right then. The tiniest of hesitation. Suguru wonders if you’re noticing just how different you and Satoru were. You, the people pleaser, meek, always more than willing to bend towards authority. Satoru was rougher, more resilient, uncaring of signs and rules. The gap between the two of you is astronomical. Could you feel it as well?
Whatever you’re thinking, it’s gone in a moment. You rise, giving Satoru another laugh. To Suguru, it sounds pretty. 
“Well, have fun for me. Besides, I can’t ditch my friends. They’re waiting for me.” 
With that, you give both him and Satoru a tiny wave, before disappearing out of the classroom. Suguru waves back. Satoru doesn’t. Instead, he keeps his eyes on your back until he can’t see you anymore. 
“Got ditched again, hm?” Suguru teases. Satoru only groans, tossing his head back as he leans dangerously on the chair.
“Always leavin’ me for ‘em, too,” he complains, “so fuckin’ annoyin’.”
Suguru can only smile, getting up to follow his friend out the door. He can barely count how many times he’d seen this before, each with a different person. It starts the same. Satoru will cling onto you for a couple more days, and then ask you out. When you say yes, he’d date you for a few weeks before eventually getting bored and dumping you. 
It’s a cruel cycle, something that’s just an inevitability with Gojo Satoru. The boy can’t stay in one place, he’s constantly moving around, never one to stop. For Satoru, Suguru was the most permanent thing in his life. Which made sense, they were pretty similar in terms of ideals. 
A cruel cycle, and Suguru feels a tiny bit of sympathy for you. You were sweet, unlike the type Satoru typically went for. Honey. Natural. Truthfully, Suguru was a little disappointed as well. The type of disappointment he’d feel when someone took the last crab stick before he could. A fleeting feeling, one that ultimately wouldn’t matter. 
From the day they first met, Suguru knew one thing: Gojo Satoru has never been told no before. 
It made sense. He was the only child to one of the most powerful families in the country. Spoiled from day one, some could say. Satoru grew up knowing nothing but wealth and prosperity. They met when they were both still in elementary school, still with high-pitched voices and large eyes. Suguru’s family was fairly affluent as well. Now that Suguru thinks back, perhaps their meeting had been orchestrated by meddling parents in order to form more connected. It didn’t matter, either way. It had benefitted all three parties, after all.
Yes, Suguru knew from the moment Satoru pointed at him and declared him his ‘best friend’, that Satoru had never been told no before. 
Satoru was the Sun. The universe revolved around him, catered to him. Suguru supposed he wasn't much better considering he too spoiled his best friend in that sense. They were different. They'd been born different, coming from families who cherish them with wealth and power. Suguru supposes it was natural for them to be so intertwined. Like calls for like. 
Suguru isn’t aware of the exact details, but he knows you rejected Satoru. 
The boy doesn’t have to tell him. His friend is uncharacteristically quiet during that weekend. He has no interest in the arcade, or the next basketball tournament his team is going to compete in. Satoru just sits on top of Suguru’s bed, casually sucking on a carton of chocolate milk. Suguru glanced down at the abandoned PlayStation remote. He’d lost yet another game against his dark-haired friend with no complaints. Satoru didn’t even play
You’d really done a number on him, Suguru thinks to himself. Suguru would assume it’s heartbreak, but he knows his friend better than that. Something burns in his chest, but he’s pushing it away before he can figure out why. Nipping it in the bud. It was a cruel thought. A bad one. He should ignore it.
Well, it’s done. It doesn’t matter anyway. Satoru would eventually get over it. He’s not known to sulk. 
He’s not there to see what Satoru tells them, but he’s there to see the effects. 
It starts out small. Or perhaps just not noticeable enough. Gojo Satoru has always attracted attention, whether it was satisfactory or not. Lackeys, Satoru often calls them because they're too far beneath him to even be called equals.
Suguru notices their sudden interest in you before even you can. A harsh word here and there. Giggling at the word 'easy'. You peacefully trek on, not noticing the abuse until it turns physical. That starts at the end of Monday. 
By Tuesday, they're already shoving you down each chance they get. You get surprised when it happens the first time, then the second, then the third. You have soft skin, plushy, Suguru could tell. He wondered if it was getting marked now. He wonders if you go home, peeling of your uniform, staring at the bruises of hands on your skin because you’re so fragile.
(They never go too far, not enough to completely injure. Suguru knows this because one time, one of the idiots had pushed you too hard. You’d stumbled, nearly hitting the back of your head with a metal locker. Satoru had seen. Suguru doesn’t know what Satoru did, but that particular one was gone the next time and the rest got the memo to scare, not injure.)
Satoru never takes part in this, but he keeps an eye on you sometimes. Tuesday evening comes and they both silently watch you through a window. You move through an empty hall, before they arrive again, slapping your binders out of your hands, chortling with each other. They're too far away to hear, but Suguru could bet it would sound like nails scraping against a chalkboard. 
Out of the corner of his eye, Suguru watches his best friend. Satoru looks impassive, face blank as he stares down at your figure. Akin to a child watching ants burning through a magnifying glass, instilled with that innate desire to see them explode into ash. 
When the lackeys leave, you bend down on the floor, collecting your stuff. Your hair covers your eyes, so he can't see your expression, but he can see your shoulders tremble. Were you-
A corral of people run to you. They lean down, picking up the stuff you had missed. You look up, your eyes are shiny but you're laughing when they say something. You wipe at your eyes, standing up as they lead you out of the hallway. Suguru had seen them hanging out with you before. They all seemed like they supported each other, supported you. 
Suguru feels his frown deepen, conflicted. He doesn’t like it.
"It's not nice to pick on the weak, Satoru," he quietly says. 
Satoru's eyes trail your figure out the door. He gives a small hum.
By Wednesday, your friends disappear from your side. 
The abuse is getting worse, noticeable to the point where the rest of the student body is heavily avoiding you. Teachers won't raise a finger at what's happening. As much as they like to preach about their 'zero tolerance for bullying', Suguru knows they'll willingly turn a blind eye when matters involve Gojo Satoru. No teacher wants to deal with the wrath the Gojo family is more than willing to unlease for the sake of their heir.
Yet, you aren't getting it. You don't break, don't bend. He can feel the humiliation roll off of you in waves, yet you don't react. Which was strange because he knew your archetype. A people-pleaser, constantly bending over backward for other's sake. You want nothing more than to become part of the crowd again, completely invisible. You’re community-oriented. You thrive off of companionship. This ostracization must be killing you. Suguru doesn't get it until he spots your face, just once, narrowed eyes, anger. 
Pride. He'd forgotten other people had that too. Though, Suguru admires it, a part of him knows it shouldn’t last.
Suguru thinks he does it because he pities you. You're a little naive. Suguru has your thought process figured out. You think if you take the torment long enough, Satoru would eventually just forget about you all together. Once he's done with you, you'd focus on picking up the pieces that used to be your life. It's not a bad plan, if you weren't dealing with Gojo Satoru. 
The boy is a hurricane. Fast, unrelenting, unforgiving. Satoru won't stop. He won't stop until you're ruined and broken. Turned into a mere asteroid of what you once were. 
So, Suguru decides to give you a push in the right direction. 
The students have already created a wide circle for you by the time he steps in, bending down, picking up the stuff you had dropped. You're silent until he hands you his pieces. He doesn't bother responding to your timid thanks. 
"Give in," he tells you, watching the way your eyes widen as you look up at him.
You're weak. Physically, emotionally. He could easily pick you up with one hand, crush your body with his fist. Satoru could eviscerate your body from existence. You don't stand a chance with him. With either of them. 
His advice to you is good. Reasonable. And yet, he sees the face you make, the way you slowly get up. You won’t listen. That same burning feeling in his chest starts. It's gotten more painful. 
You don't listen to him until you lose nearly everything. Just as he warned you. Friday comes. You become Satoru's. And it's a little too late for everything. 
Suguru doesn't think you ever learn that Satoru loves messing with you. 
Or, perhaps you do, but you can't help it. You're too honest, too open. He often wonders if that's how you were raised. To be honest, open, vulnerable. Your parents must have filled your thoughts with delusions, coddling you with words of cheap motivation. The world is your oyster. You just had to reach out and take it.
Maybe now you're finally realizing, sitting on Satoru's lap, that all men aren't created equal. 
Clearly, you weren't happy about it. Yet, you aren't complaining, sitting there pliantly legs firmly crossed, hands curled into tiny fists, staring rigidly on the floor. The first few times Satoru had done this in public, you were always biting your lip, tears threatening to fall. Now, Suguru thinks you just dissociate, coming back when Satoru laughs at something, jostling you in his arms. 
It's a bit like watching a helpless bird on the ground, twitching and spasming after it had just collided with a glass window. Pitiful, but there was nothing that could be done. It's the inevitability of it all that makes him pity you more than anything else, really.
Every so often, your eyes would catch his. It's a quick glance, as though you were wondering if he was watching. He can barely catch it, but Suguru is observant. Much like you. It's meaningless, and your gaze returns to the floor. Your fists tighten. 
Granting you mercy, Suguru stops looking at you during those times. 
He's not sure how Satoru sees you. Perhaps, you're akin to a dog for him. Though, that might not be very good for you. Satoru hadn't been very good with animals when he was younger. Satoru had always been rough with any pets he came into contact with, pushing and tugging. Suguru doubted that had changed. 
Satoru's is your official title. It isn't a relationship. It's an ownership. Unequal from the start. The one who holds the leash in the end, will always be Satoru. 
It took a while for you to fully learn that. 
Suguru didn't mean to catch the two of you. Looking back, it was probably because Satoru couldn't care less if someone was watching. Maybe Satoru was being obvious on purpose. It was a little while after school had officially ended. Suguru knew your usual routine would place you right at the library, scrolling through books. Satoru would most likely be there too, pestering you about this and that. It's the scene Suguru prepares himself to walk into.
Instead, you're wedged in between the white-haired boy and the wall, there's no space for you to do anything but sink. You're already crying (when was the last time you smiled?), trying to pull away but Satoru isn't letting you. He's gripping you by the chin, forcing eye contact. His sunglasses are off, tucked on his collar. 
Suguru's close enough to hear. You're begging. Apology after apology. It's barely a whisper, but they're spilling out of you like a prayer. He can't discern the context, but he knows enough. 
You made Satoru angry. 
He's still smiling, but it isn't sincere. Almost bordering on mania as he tightens his grip on you, forcing you further into the wall. Suguru doesn't think Satoru has ever hit you before, but now he's wondering if quick violence was preferable to this. 
"Don't be like that," Satoru chides as another squeak leaves your lips, "Where was that smile you were givin' him, hm? C'mon, pretty girl. You were wearin' it just a second ago." 
"It-it wasn't like that, I swear," you continue to plead, still not realizing that it's too late, "he was giving me his notes. Please-please Satoru-" 
"Wrong answer," he cuts you off, you flinch at his harshness but Suguru decides Satoru's being nice to you. He's been known to do worse, "we've been over this before, haven't we? Or did your stupid brain forget?" 
You're choking down another hiccup. It takes a minute for you to calm down enough to speak clearly. Ever impatient, Satoru's hand digs into your shoulder. 
"I'm sorry, Satoru," you say, "it won't happen again." 
He tilts his head, waiting. You wilt under his gaze. 
"I'm sorry...’Toru." 
Satoru gives a satisfied hum, pulling back and Suguru can practically see your lungs sag with relief. His mania is gone, replaced by something much more lighthearted and carefree. Suguru'd seen it before, but it was certainly something watching Satoru go from one high to the next. Even to Suguru, it's terrifying to witness. 
Suguru decides to make himself known right then. He comes out of the shadows, acting as though he'd just arrived. His friend lazily gives him a wave, curling an arm around your waist. You try to scrub away your tears with your forearms, unaware of how much Suguru had seen. Another mercy Suguru grants you. He doesn't acknowledge it. 
The three of you sit in the library for half an hour until you're done pretending that you're studying. When Satoru walks you home, Suguru follows. He notes that you barely hesitate to give Satoru a chaste kiss on the lips, and he wonders how often his friend has demanded one from you for you to be so casual about it. 
He thinks he gets it when he and Satoru are walking on the street without you. To Satoru, you aren't a dog. You aren't a pet, something that he keeps to see bark.
No, you are just Satoru's. 
Towards the end of the year, Suguru realizes that Satoru loves you. 
He's nicer to you, now. Suguru doesn't think you've realized how softer Satoru's gotten, but the change is there. He spots less marks on you now. The biggest evidence he has is that stolen moment of you and Satoru. You'd accidentally fallen asleep during lunch break, dozing off on your desk. Satoru was right next to you, gently pushing your hair out of your face. Satoru loves you. 
You've changed too. Adapted, he should say. You cry less, now. Each time he sees you, you look more and more put together. As though, you're done mourning. The final stage of grief. Acceptance.
Despite how much nicer Satoru is to you, he's still just as clingy. Suguru notices that even now, none of your former friends speak to you. No one at school does. It's an unspoken rule to not mess with Satoru's things. 
Suguru can still remember the last guy who hadn't gotten the memo. A new student. Freshly transferred. Suguru had heard the conversation. The guy was hardly interested in you. It was nothing more than small talk. The pat on your shoulder had been thoughtless at least, friendly at most. 
Satoru beat him until the boy was bloody and had a broken nose. A week later, he'd transferred again. 
You're off limits. To everyone but Suguru. 
The Earth is the only planet capable of sustaining life within this cold solar system. It's close enough to the sun to feel the warmth, yet far enough so it doesn't burn. It's strong, too. A powerful magnetic forcefield, capable of shutting down the sun's cosmic radiation. Thus, the Earth spins happily around the Sun, surrounded by a sea of dead planets. 
So, sometimes when Satoru can't walk you home. Suguru does. 
It was just the beginning of spring. The school year was starting to end. The school itself was starting to slow down. Teachers were getting less and less strict, less work was given out. It didn't matter. Colleges had already been picked. They were all close to the end. 
You don't say much when the two of you are alone. Suguru understands. It's hard to say much of anything when you're crushed by the weight of Gojo Satoru. But Suguru could have sworn he'd seen a flicker of relief when he came to pick you up and not his friend. You're clearly happier when it's him. Suguru decides he likes how that feels. It's a quick feeling of superiority. Something that quickly disappears when your eyes flick down. 
He knows where your house is, but he lets you take the lead anyway. Suguru figures it's the least he can do, give you that sense of control when nothing you do ever really does anymore. 
You and him have forged a shaky companionship. He's not sure what he is to you entirely, but you seem reliant on him in some way. it’s his fault, he thinks. He wonders if it has to do with the contraception he'd given you. He can still remember the trembling hands as you took it from him, curling the packet into your grip. That day he went home and his fingers felt strangely itchy. 
Does the Earth ever wonder if it can turn the Sun?
When he asks you a question, you answer. At least you aren't mute, though Suguru doesn't think he'd blame you if you ignored him. Your voice is stilted, with enough words to answer the question, but still not enough to fully sate him. 
And then, you break. 
Just a bit. 
A tiny piece of you shatters, and you show yourself to him. 
He'd been talking about something insignificant, college, his plans. Just ramblings. Somehow, Satoru comes into the conversation and he's talking about the area of his friend's college campus, how Satoru mentioned that he's looking for apartments for the two of you to stay in. And then, you're uncharacteristically scoffing. 
"Right," you say, head faced down on the sidewalk as you kick a rock, "because I'm following him there." 
Suguru can't help but place the sarcasm in your voice. The bitterness. He's heard it before, but it's a fascinating thing hearing it come from you. And then Suguru realizes that you accidentally gave something away. 
You were leaving. 
Somehow, it never crossed Suguru's mind that you were still rebelling, even now. And yet, he can't shake off the heat in your voice, your words. 
You seem to realize this too, freezing. 
He lets you falter for a few more moments before giving you a reprieve. 
"Satoru's idealistic like that," he let out. 
Your shoulders lower, and for the sake of both you and him, he doesn't press any further. 
He doesn't let himself let it go, even when he drops you home, arriving to his own house. Always cold. The mansion's lights are always off. No one's ever home. And Satoru's out of town. 
It's better this way, Suguru thinks as he lies in bed, staring up at the ceiling. No distractions, he can think better, as he replays your words over and over again. You were leaving. You were leaving. You were leaving Satoru. 
The night passes. When Satoru comes back to town, he's joyful as always, an arm slung around your shoulders. Suguru watches the way he coos at you, saying how much he missed you. You take his affections the way you always do, with a strained smile and wavering eyes. 
You glance at Suguru. Suguru stares right back. 
For a moment, Suguru thinks he understands why people are so enthralled with solar eclipses. The moon is seen as an underdog in most instances. It must be thrilling when a weak satellite can cover the sun's rays. Even for just a little bit. 
Suguru doesn't tell Satoru. He pushes the burning in his chest, ignoring the itchiness in his fingers. Things are better this way, right? After all, the two of you come from completely different worlds. It's nonsensical to think otherwise. 
Two weeks before graduation, you disappear without a trace. 
And Satoru breaks. 
It's a slow dissent. It comes in stages. The boy is angry at first, searching for you at school, when he can't find you there he loses his facade and demands where you are from your parents. They can't give him a clear answer because you're an adult now and you barely told them a thing before moving out. Suguru doesn’t think they knew what Satoru was to you. He doesn’t think they ever will.
The heat fades day by day, Week by week. Satoru starts to deflate the longer you aren't in his hold, his to mangle, and grab, and keep. He stops taking care of himself. His skin became paler, cracked lips, hollow cheeks. His eyes turn into this grayish blue that Suguru can't bring himself to look at for too long. He loses weight day by day. 
Suguru had never seen him react this way before. Satoru was always shining. He was the sun. Now, the center of the solar system was dying. He can feel himself dying with it. 
Satoru hadn't just loved you. Satoru had been obsessed with you. He breathed you in, inhaled your essence like oxygen. You'd been a part of him; a necessity. And then, you tore yourself away, leaving him bleeding on the concrete.
Guilt. Suguru feels it in his stomach, rising to his throat, threatening to stain his clothes. It's too late to say anything now, so he keeps it huddled deep inside of him. Suguru hopes it'll never come out. He helps the best he can, being there for his friend, his best friend. 
It takes a month for Satoru to start eating properly again. A few months later he starts regaining his usual physique. The gray in his eyes stays for a bit longer than Suguru likes. Suguru supposes he should take what he can get.
A year passes like that. The evidence of what you left behind fades, like bruises disappearing on skin. Suguru and Satoru become college students. Then, they graduate.
When Satoru joins the business, Suguru, his right-hand man, his second, his best friend, is right next to him. They’ve always worked well together, but that doesn’t change as they shift into adulthood. Despite how different Suguru and Satoru were, Suguru liked to think that their personalities were stagnant; unchanging even to the times.
What Satoru feels about you remains stagnant as well.
Suguru doesn’t think about you often, these days. Barely a few times a year, when he feels nostalgic enough to get out his old high school yearbook. He’d page through, spot your smiling portrait face. He’d find himself staring at you far longer than he liked too.
At first, Suguru thought Satoru was the same. Much like how one thinks about a lost toy they cherished when they were younger. The resentment would fade with time. Satoru didn’t speak about you for years.
Suguru hadn’t expected the girls, however.
He doesn’t notice the first one. He sees her, but he doesn’t internalize it. She’s hurriedly putting on her clothes after a clearly exciting night, so Suguru respectfully averts his gaze. He’s more focused on his exasperation at how Satoru had missed yet another meeting with the board. They would be less than pleased if they discovered Satoru didn’t show up because he was hungover.
The second time it happens, Suguru has a passing thought of how familiar the girl looked, despite being sure he’d never seen her in his life.
The third time it happens, Suguru realizes all the recent girls Satoru’s been bringing strike an uncanny resemblance towards you.
It’s not anything too obvious, but all of them would look a bit like you. Most would have your skin tone, your hair. One had your eyes, not the color, rather the shape of it. Satoru had kept her around the longest.
Suguru doesn’t say anything about it. Part of him wonders if Satoru is even doing it on purpose.
Suguru loves Satoru like he would his own brother, but his recent hobby was starting to get on his nerves a bit.
“So much work,” the man complains, “Why can’t we just send all this off to Ijichi?”
“He has his own work to complete,” Suguru reprimands, “the sooner you stop complaining, the sooner we can finish.”
Satoru rolls his eyes but moves to another page of meaningless paperwork; Something that would be scanned into their system and then tucked away into a random file cabinet. They currently sat in Satoru’s grand kitchen, lounging on the barstools after Suguru had pounded Satoru’s door in. Satoru had let him in with an irritated look, complaining that it was the weekend and he had ‘stuff’ to do.
“He’s my assistant,” Satoru retorts, “my work is his work.”
“The reason why we’re in this mess in the first place is because you kept pawning off your job to the poor man in the first place. You’ve given him wrinkles from just the stress of being in your vicinity.”
“That’s insulting,” Satoru counters, “my presence is nothing but calming.”
“You do the exact opposite, actually. A black hole that sucks the soul out of everyone who hangs around you.”
“You hang around me all the time and you don’t have wrinkles.”
Suguru smiles. “It’s because I don’t respect you enough to listen to anything you’re saying.”
Satoru’s about to respond, when another voice interrupts him. Alluring, feminine.
“Satoru,” she coos, “When are you getting back here?”
From his seat, Suguru has a clear view of Satoru’s bedroom. Only her head is peeked out, and Suguru notes her bare shoulders. Your eyes, and your lips this time. She’s tilting her head, mouth curved in a coy smile.
Of course. Suguru can only roll his eyes. There’s that same burning feeling in his chest. During the years, it hasn’t really gotten any better.
“Coming, coming,” Satoru calls back, “just a minute, babe.”
“Stuff to do, hm?” Suguru drawls with amusement. Satoru flips him off.
"Worry 'bout yourself," Satoru says, "when's the last time you got any, huh? Honestly, when's the last time you've taken a break? A vacation?"
"I can't," Suguru replies, "I'm always stuck babysitting you."
“I’ve been waiting for half an hour, ‘Toru." The woman interrupts. "Can’t you just do it later?”
Suguru hadn’t even noticed it. He brushed it off, barely hearing their conversation as he shuffled around the papers.
Satoru had.
He hums. Straightening his back.
“Yeah, I’ve changed my mind. You should head on home.”
At first, he thought Satoru was talking to him. Then, he hears the woman’s annoyed huff.
“Hold on, you’re kicking me out?” She asks.
“Yeah, sorry,” Satoru says, not sounding very apologetic, “I got a lotta’ stuff to do and you’re not gonna wanna stick around.”
His tone is light, but Suguru can’t help but place a sense of annoyance in them. The anger. His posture is stiff, almost like he’s primed for a fight.
‘Toru. She called him ‘Toru.
You used to call him ‘Toru.
“Seriously, I-”
“I hate repeating myself: Get the fuck out.”
There’s silence, and then Suguru can hear her mutter to herself as she shuffles inside the room. She comes out minutes later, not quite dressed, but presentable. She shoots Satoru a glare, to which he only waves off. The door shuts with a noticable thud.
“Back to work,” Satoru says, “do you feel hot? The AC has been acting up, lately.”
He carries on like that, back to normal, as though he wasn’t about to snap just a few minutes ago. Suguru follows suit, not aknowledging the outburst, much like he doesn’t aknowledge most things regarding you.
Later, Suguru laughs about the hypocrisy of it all. Satoru brings home physical reminders of you, but he refuses the remnants of you. The most intimate parts, he’d kept hidden away from his life, yet he still wishes to touch, to feel. He wonders how you’d feel if you knew that Gojo Satoru is wrapped around your finger, even now.
Satoru had done something yet again. It's always something with Gojo Satoru. Suguru should have left him to deal with the legal team himself, but here he was, trailing beside the firm’s directors as the man droned on and on how well Mr.Gojo would be well taken care of how here our clients are family. He forces himself to push away that feeling in his chest, scorching his throat. He was getting sick of the constant blabbering. He’d glanced away for just a second.
And then he saw you.
You, not some remnant, not some picture, not someone similar. You. He knew it was you. A little older, a little taller. You’d switched the high school uniform for a blouse and a pencil skirt. Suguru stares. He’s tempted to say your name, seek you out, as though you’re old friends-
He reels himself back in.
You disappear through a frosted glass door, completely unaware of his gawking. You hadn’t seen him. Good. The firm’s director didn’t notice his pause, carrying on as though nothing happened. Suguru smiles and laughs at the horrible ice breakers, but he also steals a glance at the name of the door you went through.
Later, Suguru looks up Higuruma Hiromi. A well-established lawyer. Worked at the firm for nearly a decade.
You are his sole paralegal.
Law. He had never considered it for you. Now, he thinks it’s a little fitting. He can’t help it. He looks you up. You have no social media, most likely from a remnant fear, but he finds where you went to college, what your area of study was, where else you’d worked, your life. Questions he’d had for nearly a decade he finally has an answer.
Honestly, Suguru was a little mad it was all so easy.
He can’t see the entire scope of your life, but he knows you were happy after high school, away from Satoru. You seemed happy when he caught that glimpse of you. There was a slight smile on your face, you never did that with Satoru around.
Satoru’s a little pathetic, a thought he has to concede to. He’s still hung over you, while you clearly hadn’t thought of him in years.
Suguru stares at your picture a little more.
The burning feeling comes back again. Hotter, melting.
Oh.
Suguru is disgusted by you.
You, that bitch loitering in Satoru’s bedroom, that greedy firm director. Disgust, that sick feeling crawling down his stomach, seeping into his bones. He’s disgusted by the weak.
He’s even more disgusted when they think they can defeat the strong. Decieve them.
You always thought you were better than Satoru, better than Suguru, even from the beginning. Even when you rejected him. Even when Satoru’s goons were torturing you, you still thought you could get out of it somehow. Even when Satoru had his hand on your shoulder, claws sinking into your flesh, you were still looking for a way out. It was like watching a rat trapped in a cage, pathetically sniffing around for an exit.
The weak could never escape the whims of the strong. It was a truth of the world, something he’d always known and yet it’d take a decade for him to put the words together. The weak could never make a fool of the strong.
You are weak. A mere satellite floating along, before getting trapped in the Earth’s gravitational force. Suguru could crush you with one fist. Satoru could evisirate you to atoms.
Does the Earth ever wonder if it can turn the Sun?
“I’ve put together a legal team that will represent you.”
Suguru places the neat stack of documents onto Satoru’s desk. The white-haired man barely gives them a glance. Suguru knows Satoru won’t ever look at them, even when your name is hidden somewhere within the sheets, along with Higuruma’s. Suguru wonders how long it’d take for Satoru to figure it out. It’s a shame he won’t be there to see it unfold in real-time, but perhaps, once Satoru puts the pieces together, he’ll thank him.
Here, in the present, Satoru types away at his computer, barely paying attention to Suguru’s words.
“Oh, great,” Satoru says off handedly, “thanks, man.”
Suguru sighs.
“Uh, I love you?” Satoru tries again.
“Never repeat those words to me ever again,” Suguru responds, “I wish you’d be a bit more interested in this, considering it’s your fault the company is in this mess in the first place.”
Satoru gives a hushed hum of agreement. Suguru smiles.
“In other news: I won’t be here next week.”
That catches his best friend’s attention. Satoru gapes at him.
“You’re quitting?”
“No, idiot. I’m taking your advice. I’m taking a few weeks off. I already put it in the calendar that you never check so why did I even bother.”
“A vacation? You never take vacations, even when I beg you to,” Satoru squints at him, “What’s the occasion?”
Eventually, Satoru will figure it out. For now, Suguru wants to enjoy this.
“I worked hard this year. I should reward myself, shouldn’t I?” He reasons, “oh, and I have a surprise for you showing up in a week or so. Let me know what you think of it.”
“A gift? For me?” Satoru beams. “You really do love me.”
“Don’t push it.”
The Earth is the only planet capable of sustaining life within this cold solar system. It's close enough to the sun to feel the warmth, yet far enough so it doesn't burn. It's strong, too. A powerful magnetic forcefield, capable of shutting down the sun's cosmic radiation. Thus, the Earth spins happily around the Sun, surrounded by a sea of dead planets. 
If Satoru was the Sun, then Suguru supposed he would be the Earth. Close enough to receive the star's radiance, but with a strong enough magnetitic field to shield from solar winds. 
If Suguru was the Earth, then Suguru supposed you would be the Moon. A tiny cratered satellite he tugs along with him, forever in sight of the burning sun. 
1K notes · View notes
les4elliewilliams · 3 months
Text
bound by love // ex-girlfriend!ellie
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☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆
daily click・palestine masterpost・do not buy any game from naughty dog, neil druckmann is a zionist.
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.
wc/warnings: 5.6k ; strap-on sex (r!receiving), tribbing, oral (r!receiving), cheating, use of names like whore, slut, baby etc. and toxic relationship. do NOT read if you're sensitive about this kind of stuff!! do not romanticize toxic relationships and run far away from toxic people.
a/n: also first time writing smut so please be kind😭. not proofread so i'm sorry if you find any mistakes
pairing: toxic!ellie, ex-girlfriend!ellie also stalker!ellie???(just ellie stalking your social media and location) and jealous!ellie ig.
☆・・・・☆ ・・・・☆・・・・☆
I know that you're shitty and you're bad for me
But I can't stop thinking 'bout it
✩ You used to console yourself by saying that the problem was not you but her. You believed that she was the one who caused all the issues in the relationship. However, as time passed, you started to realize that the situation was more complex than you initially thought. You began to question your own actions and words and wondered if you could have done things differently. You tried to stay positive by reminding yourself that sometimes things don't work out, and it's okay to move on. But you couldn't move on.
✩ Despite all your efforts to move on and forget about her, you always found yourself drawn back to her for some weird reason. You tried everything you could think of to let her go — you blocked her on every platform you could, hoping it would help you move on, but it never seemed to work. No matter how hard you tried to forget her, you always ended up unblocking her, usually within an hour of blocking her. It was as if you were powerless to resist the pull she had on you, no matter how much you wanted to be free of her.
✩ You were the one who broke up with her, claiming she was too toxic for you. However, you cannot deny that you also had your fair share of faults. Both of you were aware of the toxicity in your relationship, but still, it lasted for three whole years. You often wonder how you were able to tolerate her for so long. She always seemed to go out of her way to provoke you and get a reaction out of you. She would intentionally make you jealous, making nasty comments about other women's bodies to make you insecure and maybe even cry. She loved it when you got possessive and jealous; that was the only way she felt cared for and loved. She constantly needed reassurance, and her overthinking would stop only when you got possessive of her or extremely jealous; it didn't make sense, and she knew it wasn't normal, yet she couldn't help herself. But it wasn't only that. She was also extremely manipulative and a liar. It was a never-ending cycle of negativity, and both of you were caught up in it.
✩ If she was a toxic girlfriend, imagine how toxic she was once you two were broken up. When you broke up with her, you thought you were better off as friends, but soon enough, you started to realize how wrong you were.
✩ Even though she treated you poorly throughout your relationship, you always returned to her. Your love for her was strong, and it seemed as though returning to her was the only thing that felt right. Even though she was responsible for causing you a significant amount of emotional pain, she still felt like home to you — like the person who you could always run to whenever you needed it. She always knew the right thing to say to calm you down, cheer you up, and sometimes even make you cry. That was the thing about Ellie that confused you the most; She could be either the best person ever or the worst.
✩ When something big goes down in your life, she's the one you call up first. It doesn't matter if it's something totally dumb or something that seriously ticks you off, she's the one you rely on for comfort and support, and she's always there to baby you.
"S'okay baby— mhm, you got this," whispering sweet nothings into your ear as you rambled about your day "Want me to beat them up for you? You know I would," and she wasn't kidding, sending whoever made you mad to the ER without you even knowing it. You have always been someone who disliked violence. In fact, you were never the kind of person who would resort to violence, no matter how heated a situation may have been. You've always been the rational one between the two of you, thinking things through before acting. On the other hand, she was more impulsive, acting without much thought or consideration for the consequences of her actions. Anyway, you would find out what Ellie did to your coworker when he showed up with a cast around his arm, threatening to take legal action against her. You always found yourself in the middle of the conflict, pleading with your coworker not to sue Ellie and trying to smooth things over.
✩ Lots of
"you're the hottest girl i've ever dated" "i would take you back in a heartbeat" "i still have a soft spot for you" "best pussy i've ever had"
✩ She'd randomly show up at your place in the middle of the night, pounding on your door, little did you know she'd be pounding into you the second you let her in
"nfuckk— my pussy…s'all mine" Murmuring nonsense into the crook of your neck as she fucked your tight little hole with the new strap she desperately wanted to show you (which became your favorite for obvious reasons). "think anyone else can make you feel like this, hm?" and she wouldn't let you cum if you didn't reply, she wanted to hear you say that you belonged to her and her only.
✩ She constantly checked your social media accounts like a fucking maniac, fearing that you may have moved on or started spending time with other girls. This behavior was not healthy, and she was aware of it. Despite that, she couldn't help herself and even had access to your location, which she used to stalk you whenever you didn't respond to her messages or calls quickly enough. On two separate occasions, she unexpectedly showed up while you were on dates with other girls. At first, you brushed it off as a coincidence, but after the second time, you realized that she still had your location and that her sudden appearance was not coincidental at all. Therefore, you turned off the location sharing. and in no time she was blowing up your phone with texts
"why the fuck would you turn it off?" "moving on already?" "where the fuck do you even think you're going?" "try all you want, but you know who you belong to"
✩ It became increasingly clear that you and her were not meant to be friends. You still belonged to her in her mind — and perhaps it wasn't just in her mind. Deep down, you knew that she was right even though you were no longer together.
✩ Although you had repeatedly told Ellie that you wouldn't get back together, she remained convinced that you would eventually return. Instead of giving up, she actively pursued ways to reconnect with you. She would often surprise you by showing up at your apartment with a bouquet of your favorite flowers or things she knew you would like.
"Ellie, what're you doin' here?" you asked as you saw your ex-girlfriend holding a lovely bouquet of flowers in her hand. You were taken aback as you looked at the bouquet  — it was a Hello Kitty bouquet. You had mentioned this type of bouquet to Ellie before you broke up, and you were surprised that she even listened to you when you kept rambling about how cute it was. You had seen it on Pinterest before and never thought she would remember. Her green eyes met yours, and she scratched the back of her neck before flashing a warm smile your way. She knew you'd love it.  "Hi, angel," she said. She handed you the bouquet and planted a soft kiss on your cheek. Her free hand quickly found its way to your waist. She leaned back enough to gauge your reaction and asked with a cocky smile, "What d'you think?" The sudden appearance of Ellie took you aback, but you couldn't help but admire the bouquet in your hands. The Hello Kitty plushie and the colorful flowers were so cute. You didn't expect her to remember your love for this particular bouquet, but you were grateful that she did. "May I come in?" Her tone was confident, and her eyes shone with a mischievous glint. You couldn't help but wonder what she was up to, but you stepped aside to let her in nonetheless.
✩ She would listen intently to everything you said during your relationship and make mental notes of all the things you wanted or needed. However, she never acted on them until you broke up with her. Suddenly, she would start getting you those things, being the girlfriend you always wanted her to be, trying to convince you to give her another chance. But you weren't stupid; you knew that as soon as you let her back into your life, she would go back to her usual self, and her toxic behavior would come out once again.
✩ She showered you with compliments, gifts, and attention, making you feel like you were the only person in the world that mattered to her. When she realized that her love bombing wasn't working on you, she changed her tactics. She began dating a girl she had always insisted was "just a friend," even though you had always felt insecure about her because you thought she was prettier than you. But Ellie was using this girl only to get to you. She wanted to make you jealous and make you feel like you were missing out on something she could provide. She hoped you would come back to her, begging for another chance. You were devastated and couldn't help but compare yourself to this other girl, wondering what Ellie saw in Dina that she didn't see in you. But as time passed, you began to realize that Ellie was playing games. She didn't care about this girl, or about anyone else for that matter. To her, you were the one that got away, the one that she couldn't have. And so she used this other girl as a pawn in her game, hoping to win you back. But you didn't fall for it.
✩ She just went ahead and started posting pictures with her new girlfriend on Instagram to make sure you saw them and felt like shit. And, well, it worked like a charm. Even though you knew she was doing it on purpose to upset you, it still hurt like hell because she never posted pictures of the two of you together on social media, claiming she preferred to keep things private but as soon as she started dating her new girlfriend, she suddenly started posting about her non-stop, which made you feel even more hurt and insecure.
✩ You realized that cutting ties with Ellie and blocking her from all platforms would have been the wise thing to do. but let's be honest, getting revenge felt much more satisfying than being wise sometimes. You wanted to show her that you were not someone to be toyed with cause that's what you felt like: a toy. You started seeing a girl you had recently met, but you made sure not to make it too obvious. You didn't want Ellie to think you were only doing it to get back at her. Of course not, it had to look natural. You wanted to show her that you had moved on with your life and that you were over her. Even though it was quite the opposite, you weren't over her.
✩ When you began sharing pictures of your new girlfriend, she dropped her fake composed demeanor and started bombarding your phone with messages. You finally had her exactly where you wanted her.
2:33 am "who the fuck is that girl in your story?" 2:34 am "hello?" 2:36 am "answer your goddamn phone" 2:37 am "Why do you even care, Ellie? you're in a relationship." 2:39 am "what the actual fuck" 2:42 am "tell me" 2:46 am "who is she" 2:53 am "My girlfriend."
✩ After that, she vanished from social media and every other platform for nearly a week, leaving you on read. You had mixed emotions about it. On one hand, you felt a sense of pride for getting back at her. It was working because she seemed jealous. On the other hand, there was a part of you that couldn't help but miss her. You longed for her presence and wished she would come back. Her presence wasn't the only thing you longed for; you missed her hands all over your body, touching you just in the right places. She knew you like the back of her hand. She knew exactly how to make you arch your back and make you scream her name.
✩ You couldn't cum. It had been weeks, maybe a month, and your little friend down there was starting to ache. You were horny, so fucking horny, but you couldn't cum. All you could think of was your fucking ex-girlfriend almost as if your pussy had a mind of her own. Not even your favorite toys were helping. it felt good, but you felt like something was missing. You reached out to the nightstand and grabbed your phone, unlocking the screen with a swift gesture and opened the messaging app. It was wrong, so wrong and you knew you would regret it the next day, but you needed her. Your fingers moved effortlessly across the virtual keyboard as you typed a message to her.
 1:15 am "Els, I know it's wrong but"  1:15 am "I'm horny"  1:16 am "I need you, please"
You let out a deep sigh of frustration as ten long minutes ticked by, convinced she wouldn't text you back. The last conversation you had hadn't gone well, and you were starting to think it was all over between the two of you, for real this time. Just as you were about to give up and put your phone back on the nightstand, you heard a familiar chime. Your heart leaped into your throat as you saw that it was her.
1:27 am "lol your little gf can't make you feel good like i do?" 1:29 am "omw"
In just 10 minutes, she was back in your apartment, in your arms, and inside you. It was almost like nothing happened like she hadn't just made you cry for a whole month for getting with the girl who made you deeply insecure. All her 8 inches buried deep into your soaked hole, stretching it out and making it hurt, but it felt good. "Is this what you wanted, hm?" she kept mumbling random things into the crook of your neck, not that you were listening to anything she was saying; she was fucking you dumb, and you couldn't seem to focus on anything else but her thick strap pounding into you relentlessly, hitting your cervix just right. You were a mess, literally. "Ellie...nngfuck.. slow down" you breathed out between incoherent moans, panting like a fucking dog in heat "Take it, slut. Show me how much you missed me." She hissed, thrusting hard into you, all your juices spilling out of your pussy, making a mess on your pink sheets. All she wanted to do was destroy you, mark you as hers.
"C-can't," you whined as pornographic moans left your throat. She groaned deep in her throat, savoring the sounds of pleasure falling from your lips, almost as if her life depended on them. She missed this so much. She missed you so much. She increased the pace, pushing deeper into you each time. Her hands moved to your hips, gripping them tightly as she continued to thrust her hips against yours, her thrusts becoming faster and harder, your breath coming out in heavy gasps. "So fucking tight, baby," she panted, her voice hoarse with need "You belong to me, don't you?" She bit down on your neck, her teeth grazing lightly against your delicate skin, leaving behind a mark as evidence of her claim over you; you whimpered at the sensation. You were hers, no one else's. She wanted to mark you all over, hoping your girlfriend would see the hickeys on your breasts and neck the next day.
All you could do was nod frantically, "m'yours, all yours" you babbled out, painfully arching your back. So fucking incoherent. Especially after promising yourself that you would never let her lay a finger on you ever again. But you were desperate, you needed to cum, and you needed her right now. "That's my girl, only I can fuck you like this, yeah?" Her hands roamed all over your body, pinching your nipples and rubbing your throbbing nub harshly. She wanted to hear you beg for her and admit how much you needed her. She needed you to need her.
"Tell me how much you missed my cock." She demanded, slamming into you again and again. Your high-pitched moans filled the room, each one driving her wilder. She could feel her own climax building as her clit bumped against the back of her strap with each thrust; the sound of your pleas combined with the tightness of your pussy around her strap-on were enough to push her closer and closer to the edge. You felt that familiar sensation build in your stomach; you were close. "Soo much, ahhh!...missed it, yeah.." you couldn't even put together a proper sentence. Her grip on your hips tightened, tugging slightly as she continued to thrust into you, hitting the spot that had you rolling your eyes into the back of your skull, over and over until you couldn't hold back anymore.
"That's it, whore. Cum for me. You don't belong to anyone else," she snarled, her voice laced with possession. She knew just what to do or say to push you over the edge, and it worked every single time; that's why you ran to her whenever you needed a good fuck. She could feel your body tensing up and your pretty pussy clenching around her strap-on. You came simultaneously, your combined moans filling your cozy bedroom, her well-defined abdominal muscles glistening with a thin layer of sweat. She rolled you over, so now you were on top of her, riding out your orgasm on her silicone cock as she ground her clit against the back of her strap.  "Oooh fuuuck!" you cried out as pretty moans left your mouth. She took in the sight of you on top of her, her strap still buried deep inside you, riding her cock; your tits bounced as you did so, a sight that she loved. No one did it like you. No one was remotely as good as you. She took a glimpse of your cum sliding down the strap, you were so fucking wet, and nasty wet sounds filled the room, but she loved it. "Fuck, baby," she groaned, clenching her teeth tightly together, causing her jaw muscles to bulge prominently. Her hands gripped your hips, guiding you as you moved your hips, setting the pace, your eyes locked on hers the entire time. Her fingers dug into your skin, leaving small marks that she knew would fade within hours but would always remind her of this moment. Her veiny hand reached up, grabbing one of your breasts, squeezing it firmly and twisting the nipple between her fingers. Your breath came out in ragged gasps, her eyes never leaving yours as she watched you take her cock like the fucking slut you were. "Taking me so well, such a good girl f'me, aren't ya?"
"El..." you whined as she toyed with your nipple. You weren't going to last long; you were still sensitive and your pussy couldn't handle it. "'m gonna cum again!" you cried out once again, bouncing faster on her thick strap. She watched you with unabashed hunger, her eyes never leaving your body as it moved above her. She thrust up, meeting your movements, pushing you closer to the edge. The sight of your tits bouncing in time with your thrusts and the strap disappearing inside your juicy-coated pussy almost made Ellie cum right then and there. Your thighs started to tremble, and she could feel you clench around her dick; your gasps and moans becoming more frequent. She wasted no time, her fingers digging into your hips as she slammed you down on her strap, making you cry out her name, "Just like that, yeah...take it."
When you finally collapsed against her, panting heavily, Ellie couldn't help but smile. "Mine," she rasped, her voice thick with possession and satisfaction. As your bodies finally came down from their highs, breaths slowly returning to normal, she pulled out of you, leaving your wet and sore pussy gaping open. You whined at the sensation, suddenly feeling empty.
The smile plastered on her face faded as you pulled away, the coldness in your voice seeping into the air between you two as you told her to return to her girlfriend. She reluctantly mimicked your movements and sat up, breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling rapidly. Her eyes met yours, searching for any trace of warmth or affection, but all she found was distance. She grabbed her clothes and started to dress herself quickly, trying to calm down, her movements precise and controlled, hiding the hurt and anger she felt at your words. She was confused. You had called her, and she thought you were ready to take her back into your life. She wasn't expecting you to discard her like a toy. "I see how it is," she muttered, her voice cold and distant. She gathered her belongings, not meeting your gaze. "I shouldn't have come here." When she was fully clothed, Ellie turned to face you, her eyes filled with regret and anger.
"Yeah, you shouldn't have," your tone coming off as sharp and cold. You put your shirt on, struggling to process what happened. You missed her so fucking much, and the sex with her was also something you missed a lot. You knew she was right when she told you that no one could fuck you like she did; your girlfriend couldn't even make you cum, while Ellie knew precisely how to touch you to make you feel good. "Can't believe it...Dina, really?" you muttered under your breath as you got dressed, catching her off guard. Your outburst was so sudden neither you could understand it. She could sense the jealousy in your voice and knew exactly what was going on, and the realization made her feel a twinge of satisfaction. "Is this what it's all about? Me fucking with Dina?" she scoffed, her eyes rolling in annoyance. But despite her outward annoyance, she was secretly glad you still cared and got jealous. It meant that you had never indeed gotten over her. You struggled to maintain eye contact with her, the words "Just…get out" barely escaped your lips. You felt a burning sense of shame for letting your jealousy get the best of you, but at the same time, you couldn't help but release all the pent-up emotions you had been holding in for so long.
She snorted from her nose, shaking her head in disbelief, almost amused by all this "Just say the word, and I'll dump her ass," she said in a flat tone, her emerald green eyes staring right back at you as she placed her hands on her hips. You could tell she was serious, as there was a hint of desperation in her voice. She was hoping you'd ask her to drop Dina's ass and come back to you, but of course, you didn't. "I would do anything for you" desperate, so fucking desperate. You let out a deep sigh and firmly shook your head, looking into her eyes. You could see the pain and desperation in her gaze, but you couldn't just let her back into your life like that. "Go," you repeated yourself. "Fine, whatever," she sounded so pissed, disappointed. For a moment, you wanted to take your words back, but you knew that letting her into your life again was the worst idea ever.
✩ That night only made it incredibly difficult for you to move on from her (not that you could before), but she was all you could think of. You found yourself constantly yearning for her at every moment of the day. You'd often text her, and she would always come over, no matter what she was in the middle of. She was willing to drop everything to be with you and 8 inches inside you or between your thighs. Even if she was out with Dina, she didn't seem to care — it became obvious that something was going on between you and Ellie. You couldn't understand how Dina couldn't tell that Ellie was cheating on her with you.
6:34 pm "Baby, need you" 6:36 pm "I'm so wet, been thinking about you all day :(" 6:37 pm "proof??"
✩ One of the things you used to do quite regularly was sending her nudes. You would send her nudes on Snapchat unexpectedly, mostly to surprise her or get some sort of reaction from her. Sending snaps to tease her was one of your favorite things to do. Whether it was a picture of you in sexy lingerie or a video of you playing with your pussy, riding the purple strap she had left at your place weeks ago. You loved making her horny, and it always worked. She would always end up knocking at your door, eager to fuck you or eat you out.
"Teasin' me like that in public — tsskk," She mumbled against your throbbing core as she teased your clit with her tongue. Your legs were on her shoulders, and you watched her head disappear between your thighs. Your fingers tightly gripped into her auburn hair as she devoured like a starved animal, so pussy drunk. But even in that state, she was such a sight.
✩ You were the only one she could think about, even when fucking her girlfriend. Her mind too fixated on the cute little whimpers that left your mouth when she was inside you or sucking on your clit. The way your legs trembled when you were close, your hips jerking away from her when it became too much for you. No one could make her wet like you did, it was a fucking curse having to fuck someone else while thinking of you, hoping that would be enough to trick her brain into thinking she was fucking you instead.
✩ She would save each of your snaps into her phone's gallery and meticulously organize them into a special and hidden folder she had created just for you. This folder contained not just your nudes but plenty of other stuff — from intimate pictures you'd send her to videos she'd take while fucking you. She would go through the folder occasionally for personal use (iykwim).
✩ Your girlfriend was quick to pick up on something odd going on. She'd notice how you would turn your phone upside down, making sure the screen was facing whatever surface to make sure she wouldn't see your ex-girlfriend spamming your phone with texts (she would do it on purpose, by the way). That's how she knew something was up, but for some odd reason, she brushed it off.
✩ She was fed up with your stupid girlfriend constantly in the way. Why weren't you breaking up with her already? She couldn't understand; she was trying to be the best version of herself for you, yet you were still not hers. She tried everything to get you caught, like texting you while your girlfriend was around, sending you risky snaps, calling you...but nothing seemed to be working. So, she decided to hurry things up by texting your girlfriend and sending her some evidence.
She selected a video from her gallery to send to your girlfriend, writing a text message to go along with it before hitting the 'send' button "is this ur girl?" In the video, she was strapping you from behind, and you were telling her exactly what she needed to hear, "Better than your stupid girlfriend, yeah?" "Y-yes. Oooh fuckk. nhhmmm...faster, please" "Can she fuck you like this, hmm?" "No one can fuck me like y-you do...pleaseplease faster"
✩ Your girlfriend felt hurt and betrayed after realizing that you were using her to make your ex jealous, and she ended things between you two. You didn't seem to be affected by the breakup significantly, as if you had been expecting it all along. Honestly, it was almost as if the relationship never existed to you.
✩ Despite feeling indifferent towards your recent breakup, you were furious that Ellie had been the one who caused the end of your relationship. Who was she to control your life in such a way? Well, she couldn't give a fuck, to be quite honest. Seeing you with other girls consumed her from the inside. Nevertheless, she did not break up with Dina.
✩ But of course, you couldn't just let it slide. You already had a plan.
You were at Ellie's place, your back pressed onto her messy blankets, your leg on top of her shoulder as she held the other one firm, adjusting herself on top of you, to be more precise... on your pussy; grinding her wet pussy against your dripping cunt as filthy wet sounds and whimpers echoed in the room. Her hips moved in a slow motion, her green forest eyes fixated on yours. You reached to her nightstand to grab her phone, "Can I...nghhm... record us, baby?" you managed to utter between soft moans as she rode you, her movements became more desperate, chasing her own orgasm. "Record how good m'fuckin' this pussy?" her voice was husky, her breath ragged. Her head rolled back as she continued to grind against you, moaning at the friction, and her eyes fluttered shut. You unlocked her phone and quickly went through her contacts, pressing on Dina's name to start the call. Although the plan seemed foolish and overused, it worked out perfectly.
Dina appeared at Ellie's doorstep in no time to shout at her while you listened from her bedroom. You were amused by the drama that was unfolding before you. It was entertaining to watch Ellie deny the evidence. Dina's voice rose higher and higher as she accused her of sleeping with her ex. When Dina stormed out of the apartment and slammed the front door behind her, you emerged from your hiding spot and leaned against the doorframe, gazing at her with a mischievous grin on your face. Your arms were crossed over your chest as you watched her, waiting to see her reaction. When she turned to look at you, her face etched with confusion and surprise. You shrugged nonchalantly and said, "My finger slipped," with a lopsided smile.
She snorted and shook her head, but you could see the amusement in her expression, "Such a bitch," she said, though you could tell she was trying to suppress a smile. For some reason, she couldn't help but find it funny, she knew she deserved it.
✩ She gradually made her way back into your life, taking slow but steady steps to regain your trust and affection. And before you knew it, she asked you to be her girlfriend again. You hesitated at first but eventually gave in to the strong feelings you still had for her. The first few months of your second chance together seemed to be going smoothly, or so you thought. Then, one day, out of the blue, she broke up with you, claiming that she needed a break from the relationship.
✩ Your heart was shattered into countless pieces, struggling to comprehend where it had all gone wrong. And to make things worse, it seemed like you were the only one suffering, while she appeared to be completely fine, almost as if she were unbothered by the whole situation. You had poured your heart out, begging her to give your relationship another try, but she seemed to be holding back, almost...distant.
✩ But that didn't stop you; you were determined to win her back. You tried everything in your power to get her to love you again, just like she used to do when she wanted to win you back. You started showing up at her place unannounced, always with little surprises for her: her favorite snacks, flowers, handmade stuff, and love letters. But unfortunately, all your efforts seemed to be in vain. The more you tried, the more she pushed you away. You couldn't tell how she had switched so fast and went from doing anything to get back with you to this. 
✩ When you asked her for an explanation, she said she felt emotionally unavailable. She went on to say that she wasn't sure if she still loved you and that she needed a break. You could see the hurt in her eyes and feel the weight of her words as they slowly sank in. It was a devastating blow that left you feeling utterly destroyed. The pain you felt was almost too much to bear.
✩ She promised to come back to you once she felt better. Months passed, and she didn't return. You were left feeling lost and heartbroken, struggling to cope with the pain of the breakup. To move on, you tried to distract yourself with other things, keeping yourself busy with work, hobbies, and spending time with friends. As time went on, you slowly began to heal and accept that it was over. When she unexpectedly came back, you were already over her.
"im ready to give us another try" "Ellie, it's been a fucking year." "and?"
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chiliyue-archived · 10 months
Text
physical affection
Tumblr media
includes; dazai, chūya, ranpo, atsushi
tags; these get just slightly suggestive (but its nothing too much).headcanons + some drabbles & shorts. these r longer than it should be - I got so carried away
I just woke up so if u find mistakes pls let me know :) I'm posting this before I come up with an excuse to delete it altogether
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—DAZAI
handsy - that's really the only descriptor you need.
honestly, everyone knows you're his partner with how he acts around you; hand on your thigh, waist, shoulder. having to kindly smack him on the back of his head when his hands trailed a little too far-
^ only for him to send you a pout and doe like eyes that fade when you indulge him a kiss. he has zero shame (often at the expense of receiving a sneer from kunikida who had the misfortune of witnessing sometimes. even then, he didn't stop kissing you)
favorite spot is the inside of your palms and knuckles - with a lingering yield on your pulse point. if you ever kiss those areas on him, he'll have cartoon hearts around him & everything
holding his face though? call him your pretty boy or literally anything sappy and he thinks he might just die on the spot.
on the flip side he's also… a bit of a bitch.
traces your bottom lip tauntingly with his thumb, the other is cupping your head to keep your gaze on him. he maintains keen eye contact and relishes in the way you crack while he remains steady.
his mouth is so close that when he speaks, you could feel it vibrate against your lips. but he never closes the distance, he makes you do that instead for teasing benefits :/(if you're shorter than him, it's so over)
revoke his kissing rights and he trails like a lost puppy behind you. " just one, bella?" he whines when you maneuver your head away. it's cute seeing him get all pouty - not so much when his patience runs thin and he takes matters into his own hands
-> caging you in his physique and kissing you hard. fingers calloused are rubbing against your jaw or brushing past your ear to interlock, teasing the surface of the skin as he does so. he enjoys the tremors and shivers it elicits, such reactions becoming burned in the back of his head.
you could barely make a sound with the vigor he expresses his cravings in with your bottom lip becoming captured between his canines
contrary to his theatrical displays, however, i also believe he exhibits a softened demeanor when cherishing you proper (soft dazai agenda)
the tempo of his kisses are slow yet not in accordance with his teasing. while the meandering of his hands grows greedy, when he speaks his voice is reduced to a low whisper, mumbling sweet phrases with each kiss.
dazai wants to blame the bottom of sake for his vermillion flushed cheeks. more alarmingly, he wanted to ignore the way his heart squeezed when you reciprocated the kiss.
" darling," he pulls away, studying your expression. your hair was tousled, a swell blooming on your bottom lip from his recurrent nibbling and ministrations. the moment wasn't perfect, but he could bask in it for a lifetime. " are you getting sleepy?"
the pretty brown eyes you met were half-lidded and blinking. his bangs traced along your forehead from where he hovered, and if you squint, perhaps you would have noticed how the pink of his cheeks deepened the tiniest bit when you laughed at the tickling sensation.
you murmur something intelligible, the words swallowed by his mouth; he shivers when the syllables reverbate against him and the hand at your hip falters slightly. when he reels back, he remains close enough for his forehead to brush yours.
" repeat that, love."
" i said," you mumble, kissing the corner of his mouth. " can we to stay like this forever?"
almost instantaneously his body shakes in anticipation, heart lurching at the sincerity; how can you be so honest to a known liar like him? he slowly nods, his body arching until your chests were touching and breath pricked at your cheek. ever greedily, he seeks out another exchange, this one careful with a lingering touch of desperation.
an "okay" became lost as he gingerly grabs your chin, angling it just the tiniest bit to deepen it. in between the withdrawals and recoil, dazai chooses to ignore the way his breath stills in the pinnacle of moment, made potent when he twines his hand with yours. he provides the appendage a firm squeeze in coordination with the stirring in his chest, your inhales and exhales becoming synchronized.
he can't lie, he's been thinking just as much.
dazai also likes your hands. chances are his are bigger than yours and he finds himself comparing hand sizes with you. his eyes crinkle when your fingers are dwarfed by his.
adjoined limbs are swayed back and forth when you walk together. same applies with intertwined legs, but when he's not busy doing that, he's playing footsie beneath the table.
he needs to be with you whenever he can!! the spot across your table remains permanently empty as he makes a home of sitting as close as possible next to you instead
he can't even be embarrassed with overly sappy displays, not when he's loving it twice as much. " good morning, osamu," you once said, palms cupping his face. he doesn't know if something has ever made his heartbeat spiked as hard as that did. " can I have a kiss?"
if he didn't turn to putty from the request alone, then it was the way you circled your thumbs on his cheekbones when he brushes his lips to yours. tentatively, he curls his hands behind your waist, holding you close before you get too far.
" can i have some more?" his eyes are shimmering in mischief as ever but his skin has progressively grown warmer since you've found him.
dazai is cuddly. getting to hold you close and listen to your heartbeat? yeah, he could die happy right now
unsurprisingly, napping with him is among his favorite passing time activities.
the closest you may get to see a vulnerable side to him is if you card your fingers through his hair. admittedly, he finds it troubling how his built-up walls crumble so easily with a couple of strokes. but the only thing he can focus on now is the sensation of fingers devoid of pain carefully tend through his hair and how warm his chest feels
kisses on the forehead when you're in need of comfort ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶
" i'm right here, love." when you glance up at him with red eyes and puffy cheeks he could feel his heart break right into two. even more so when your voice cracks and he tries to hide the way his face drops when it echoes in the somber ambience.
attentively, he cups your cheeks as his lips apply delicate pressure against your forehead. he sighs when he feels your trembling hands subdue and your breathing regulate; its panning against his skin rivaled any other comfort he could ever receive.
" better?" when you nod, he could feel his grin return, just a bit weaker. " today has been hard on you. get some rest."
" can you stay with me?" he already knew the answer in his head but it still makes chest swarm tremendously.
he gives your hand a gentle squeeze, lips brushing your forehead again. " of course."
he wasn't the one needing comfort and yet he still felt a deep-rooted tingle right in his chest when you hugged him closer than usual. he depised the circumstances behind it, but he couldn't deny the way it made his barren chest feel less akin to a husk when you felt so secured against him.
his hands start to comb shrough your hair, watching as the strands bend between his fingers and he ensures to provide your scalp proper attention now and again.
he wasn't sure if he'll be able to sleep, he was more concerned in making sure you did.
he blinks when you move to press your cheek against his chest, right where his heart should be. " thank you," your words were muffled against clothes, sending vibrations along his bones.
" you don't have to thank me." he places a last kiss to your forehead, the longest one of the night. his legs shift to intertwine with yours, listening keenly to the sound of your breath until it slows into an assuaging rhythm.
dazai can't recall the last time he had to take care of someone. it's made apparent as he grapples with uncertainty - almost becoming overwhelming with how powerless he felt in the situation.
though tonight, he was sure to hold you a little tighter.
likewise if you kiss his scars and the skin beneath the bandages, he could feel the breath in his throat still and his heart do cartwheels. it's been so void of human touch for so long and he appreciates the care you exhibit towards something he considers to be ugly.
" all better now!" you punctuated your words with a kiss to the newly coiled cotton on his arms. dazai could do nothing but swallow hard, his "thank you" mumbled under his breath; he didn't like the pain, but it wasn't so awful when you spoiled him like this ♡
neck kisses + scattering the expanse of your throat with baby bruises you can not hide. afterwards, he traces it out with his index finger while he takes in the markings with great interest.
when it starts to fade he gladly renews them
" that tickles," you murmur, voice reduced to a whisper; you couldn't trust yourself, not with dazai scattering kisses along the exposed patches of your neck. the rehearsal of which doesn't falter, even when you tug on his increasingly unruly curls.
" my apologies, 'bella," you wince as he captures a patch of your skin between his teeth. " i think i've found my favorite form of art." he has the gall to feign a tone of sympathy, lips arcuated at the growing disparity.
in addition to the nibbling, his fingers skimmed along your torso, moving in taunting lines he knew ran your sanity thin. dazai knew all the places that made you shiver, it was a piece of information that became abused with the movement of his hands in that moment.
against your rationality, you sunk into his touch, fingers twitching along his roots. it brought a simper you couldn't see but his satisfaction is made apparent when his actions grow sloppy, scattering along the expanse of your throat and meandering along your collarbone.
" you had every chance to leave," he smirks when you don't reply, content with the way your nails briefly printed on him. predictably, he gives another nibble on your skin, tugging back gently. " this might be my favorite spot."
right on the center of your unguarded throat.
" i can't hide those there."
he laughs, breath cascading skin. " that's what i want, darling." he thinks he might lose himself when you bring a particular tug in his hair, a sound akin to a grunt reverberating against your throat.
" you're being mean." dazai makes the mistake of pulling back, gracing him with your disheveled hair, reddened lips and growing streaks of red. already he finds it to be his favorite piece of jewelry.
" don't look so down," he pressed a kiss to one of the blooming blemishes, grinning as it became more pronounced. " you'll get your turn soon."
-
—CHŪYA
he takes his gloves off when he goes to touch your face. he doesn't want the sensation of skin on skin to be hamper by the piece of article.
kisses to your temples & neck are exchanges he shares on the frequent. though depending on the height difference, it may also be a gesture reserved for when you're sitting on his lap or cuddled up into him. head kisses in particular feel appropriate for anything really
as for himself, i'd say he likes to be kiss on the lips(mainly so he can distract from the growing crimson that tickles his forehead)
but it's hard with the handsome face chūya has. his growing pout tells you he's growing impatient when you favor his cheeks, but the hand gripping your sleeves are so counterproductive
" can you do it properly?" he gruffs, brows furrowing that weaken by your persistence. his skin was growing warm from the kisses you spoiled him with but it hardly compares to the proper thing on his lips, aching for the familar sensation almost painfully.
he shivers when you trail to his mouth, just shy of it and his grip tightens. " like this?"
his eyes flutter shut when you close the distance and before he could realize it, his hands began to sift through your hair. " yeah," his exhale was shaky, voice dropping to a low lilt. " don't stop that."
he sleeps with his head buried in your stomach - his nose is brushing against your abdomen with toned arms slithering around you like a form of cocoon
it reaches a peak when you brush your thumb over his scalp, and you can physically note the way the muscles in his body sink. you can't see his face, greeted instead by a cascade of reds; but his lips pull into a grin at the action
it grants you the opportunity to play with his hair. and sometimes, when he wakes up to find the claw clips and cute brooches that push his bangs aside and show off his pretty eyes, he won't be tempted to remove them right away.
he wanted to roll his eyes when he saw you pull out the collection of hair clips, taunting pastels and neons gawking back at him. but he has to admit, he stopped caring the moment you started to play with his strands of hair. the locks weaved through your fingers, silky and soft stirring a form of ease that compels him to remain still. when he did move, it was only in an effort to bring himself closer, almost like snuggling(though he profusely denies it as such and regards you a scoff that doesn't compliment the rest of his actions).
had he not been treading precariously the boundaries of sleep, he may have been able to pick up on the way his heart quickened; a solace riveting up his spine and leaving in the form of a breathy sigh.
he blinks his eyes at you, nose scrunched up when you start mapping out his handsome features with your thumb. " you're getting distracted."
you acknowledge his statement with a coy grin and chūya felt his heart swell even at its simplicity. "i know." you move to press your lips to his forehead; if the smile wasn't enough to dissipate the frown on his face, that was the drug.
a flash of color peeks in the corner of his eye as you draw another clip. " i was just wondering how you would look in pigtails," you joke and chūya could feel his face twist— eye twitching at your jest.
" you're pushing your luck."
" it won't be that bad, chū."
" i could leave right now." his voice was terribly unconvincing when brooches adorned his head.
" you would have left a long time ago." you grin when he doesn't refute you. " just relax."
chūya knows he's defeated when you thumb his scalp again, eyes screwing shut involuntarily. " you're enjoying this too much," he grumbles. he tilts his head to the side, granting you access to his hair, hands falling pilant against your thigh. it bewilders him how much relief washes over him as you start to pry the strands apart again.
you know he's fallen asleep when he stopped replying to your ramblings; his words going from full sentences, to sporadic words and then slurred vowels. when you peek down, he's resting comfortably on your lap, lips slightly parted and allowing light snores to fill the silence.
chūya is far too deep in his subconscious to contemplate anything, but if he could, he thinks he might just get addicted to this.
a clingy drunk. in addition, the alcohol is effective at loosening his tongue, resulting in declarations of his undying love that are muffled when he goes head first into your stomach (≧▽≦)
in lieu of that, he likes to spoon you, with himself being the big spoon. he has his head in the crook of your shoulder, and you feel his inhales and exhales against your skin.
he likes your body heat, it grounds him to earth and coaxes a soft demeanor that he fails at suppressing
thoughtful when it comes to kissing in the public eye. he isn't fond of drawing that form of attention to your relationship, but he isn't opposed to stealing a couple of kisses now and then.
it's fast, it's simple and enough to satiate you and himself. and it's enough to tell onlookers that he's your bf
it that didn't give the memo, its the gloved hand on your waist that spoke to people that you were taken.
though that doesn't stop him from tugging you closer in a spur of his protective tendencies. it's a subconscious act he does when you pass a group of people or when yokohama is notably crowded. it's not merely because he's short and is worried about losing you to the sea of wayfarers(at least thats what he tells you) - rather, it roots from a concern that's only repleted when he knows you're safe
behind close doors, however, his kisses lack patience if the way he's gripping your clothes is anything to go by. and while he demonstrates a growing restlessness, he remains pensive to his own strength and withdraws to give you proper time to catch your breath.
but he knows exactly what to do intensify each one and make your brain go hazy
cupping your cheeks, tilting your head, voice speaking in a meticulous timbre that shakes your skull. you're far too consumed in the kiss to recognize when his free hand has found its way to your back, gliding along the spine before slipping beneath the hem.
his gloves are cold against your skin, mumbling a faint 'sorry' that's nearly swallowed when he brushes his lips to yours for nth time.
the limbs explore along the dips and contours, pinching your sides and smirking into the kiss when you yelp in surprise (inwardly, his heart is beating so fast, he wonders if you could hear it when his chest is pressed against yours.)
without the gloves, his hands are a hint warmer. but even warmer are his cheeks when you press kisses to it. he knits his brows together in an attempt hide how much he likes; ultimately, he betrays himself when he pulls you closer
" what the fuck are you doing," he stammers as you press a kiss to his warm cheeks. despite himself, he makes no effort to move when you brush your lips on the other - even warmer than the neighboring pair.
"kissing you," you hum. "... want me to stop?"
" no." he hates how fast the words left him and he hates how you grin at that. it was just the thing to crumble his resolve - and more specifically, it's just the thing to make him go mellow, subservient to your ministrations with his heart beating erratically - even within the scrutiny of strangers and coworkers.
" give me a warning next time." he wants to frown but the expression dies when you crane your head to make contact wherever you can reach. in reponse, an arm finds purchase on your hip, shuffling you closer until you are nuzzled up to his build.
he wasn't sure what rumors would circulate if people saw him being soft - and frankly, he couldn't bring himself to quite care much about the prospect either; inwardly, he was already missing the rehearsal of your lips on his, a desire not easily quelled and he was far more occupied with fixing that.
you let out a confused hum when he suddenly taps at your cheek indignantly. " well?" a thumb hooks beneath your chin, bringing you just shy of his mouth. "are you going to finish what you started?"
when he's making kissy faces with his partner, it's nobody's business.
if you have dimples, he kisses those, each one before concluding it off with your lips
chūya just likes to be in contact with you in some way really. longing to hold your hand and scribe incoherent phrases on the palm. reflected in the way his feet nudge closer to yours and how he never fails to hold your hand beneath the table. when handing you items, he reveals a form of reluctance when he detaches away.
i really want to say he does that thing where he places his fedora over his chest when he kisses your knuckles. he tries really hard to maintain eye contact, but it falters when you send him a beam that makes his chest ache from beating so fast.
and lastly, he never leaves without getting a goodbye kiss first.
" you're forgetting something." chūya vexed— furrow brows bruising his otherwise neutral expression. he hasn't moved from where he stood, silhouette stilled by the partition with nothing but the perpetual tapping of his foot to remind you of his presence. it took all of your strength to push back your laughter at his childish display.
" i am?" you question with a tilt of your head. the inquiry rewarded you with a huff from the former, lip twisting into a frown. admittedly, he looked cute when grumpy, pretty dark eyes tracking you behind colored bangs.
" my kiss?" an index finger points to his neglected lips, promptly chooses to ignore the red hue that harbored along his cheeks, tickling his forehead tauntingly.
chūya tracks your movements as you stride forward, cupping his cheeks within your palms. he resists the urge to close the distance himself - as alluring as it was - he sought out satisfaction when you comply with a genlte kiss. against his own volition, a breathy and likewise dreamy sigh leaves him, just barely audible by the exchange.
his hands sneak down to rest on your waist, twitching when you press a final peck to his cheek. promptly, you decide not to comment on the way a grin was threatening to crack on his oh so serious face.
" better?"
"very."
-
—RANPO
yk in the movies where the guy picks up the girl and spins her around when they kiss? ranpo wants you to do that with him but he's the girl.
piggyback rides ! except he's the one on your back :/ " to the detective agency, y/n!" he jabs out a lithe finger, his dimple smile steady even when you meet him with a glare over your shoulder. it makes him more eager than anything, face squishing against your cheek as he loops his legs around your waist.
" don't give me that look" he exasperates, a brow quirk at your nonverbal response. " the world's greatest detective can't be in better hands."
" you can get there yourself," you sigh, averting your gaze back in front of you. it was hard to fight against him, his persistence shaping your decision the longer he clinged to you.
" thats the boring alternative. duh," he breathes, nuzzling his cheek against your hair. " you know me better than that. besides, i like it when you hold me."
likes kissing you. he will rope up any excuse to steal a kiss. he finished a piece of paperwork? he deserves a reward. finished eating a cookie? kiss the crumbs off. you have absolutely nothing else to do? well, his lips are right there, give him a smooch <3
his kisses taste sweet, the faint traces of chocolate and jams coating his lips. it won't be too far from him to make you guess the flavor of cake he had that morning, but really you think he's just trying to pull more kisses from you. cause he is
" tastes sweet." ranpo shudders when the words vibrate against his lips, cheeks deepening to a rosy hue but the playful glint in his eye ceases to falter. " banana or strawberry?" you blink, a pensive look comprising your features.
a hand cups the back of your head, bringing you close enough for your lips to hover his, still glossy in faint syrup. " nope~!" his proceeding laugh was cut short as he closed the distance again, the ache to kiss you too profound. and with you seated on his lap, he utilized the given opportunity greedily.
you resist the urge to gasp when his tongue swipes along your lower lip, with it the tinge of a fleeting flavor; you recall watching him eat something sweet and sugary in the morning.
he smiles against your mouth, savoring your reactions and attempting to draw out the kiss. " that's definitely strawberry," you contemplate.
ranpo whines when you withdraw, grip tightening against your hands in a stubborn display - it was perhaps the most desperate response you've gotten from him that evening. " are you lying?" you tease with a knowing look; you don't think you've ever seen him shake his head as vigorously as he did now.
" i think," he brushes the corners of your mouth, fingers settling against your chin. "you'll just have to kiss me until you get it right."
the possibility to ponder a response was stolen from you, swelling lips already chasing your own with renewed zeal. dumbfounded, you were naive to the abandoned slice of shortcake just a couple tables away. but by the time you discover it, your little game would be long forgotten.
his childish demeanor often seeps through into his portrayal of affection, fond of sweeping you off your feet at the displays(and at times quite literally too)
it varies in forms; one day he can slump against you like a koala, grip like a vice. and the next he decides to randomly squish your cheeks and bring a kiss to your puckered lips
" ranpo-?!" you sputter, disoriented from sudden and hasty movement. you recall looking over some documents, the next you were gazing into wide green orbs and a nose bumping yours. a self-satisfied look curls on his face, relishing in the way your face fumes beneath his touch.
" surprise~"
" what was that for?"
" just wanted a kiss." he evades the hand on your cheek in favor of curling your bangs around his finger. " i'll come back for more."
he's shameless, unafraid and bold. perhaps not to a similar depth as dazai, but ranpo yields an unpredictability that easily leaves you mellowing in his ministrations
blows raspberries on your cheeks and palms just to coax a laugh from you. it's a reaction he can't help but mimic too and implores you with a "my turn!" while tapping his cheek expectantly.
has probably nibbled on your cheeks at some point too…. :/
likes to hold your hand, slipping it into space randomly and nonchalantly. he sticky like that; appearing from thin air and finding your hand trapped with his.
even better if you sit on his lap or vice versa
when you sleep, he lays on top of you because he doesn't want you to leave him alone. plus! it provides him the perfect advantage to pepper his lips on your collarbone or other patches of expose skin
goodnight kisses (and nap kisses) are a must and he turns greatly fussy when denied such "necessities" as he puts it
" i'm only going to get a glass of water," you reassure him, sweeping his messy bangs aside to press a kiss to his forehead. the crease between his brows goes slack, but his grip remains fixed; it was late, and the last thing ranpo wanted was for you to leave your spot on the futon. " i promise."
his eyes surveyed your face for an inexplicable answer and the fidgeting of his fingers against your forearms tells you he's hesitant.
a silence shrouds the dorm before he speaks again, voice weakened and resigned - it almost made you want to stay in bed with him, enveloped by the unspoken words and his endless aura of affection. " okay." you trace your finger over his cheek, pallid and smooth beneath the pad - the gesture was persuasive enough for his grip to grow lax. he didn't let you get too far yet however, an outstretched pinky waiting before you. he bestows you a broaden grin when you accept it, pressing a kiss to the tip of the adjoin digits.
he doesn't leave your side even as you fix yourself a glass of water, your shared blanket haphazardly draping his shoulders and trailing behind him. he lingers by your arm even as the facet runs, interrupting his thoughts with tired green blinking in impatience. and he watches you through his bangs as you replenish your thirst, already looping your arm and guiding you back to your futon.
not a second after your head meets the pillow, ranpo wraps himself around you, dawning a smile now that you're back with him. he didn't care if his elbow was probed at an odd angle, he just wanted to be as close to you as possible.
" you can't fall asleep yet!" he whines, pulling on the sleeves of your shirt languidly. " it's only fair if you give me a kiss."
" i gave you one earlier."
his gaze shifted to a mixture of displeasure and yearning, small hands pulling eagerly on the fabrics of your clothes. his pleading green eyes made it hard to resist his demands, obscuring into a candid vulnerability you seemingly wielded over him.
" but," ranpo leans close enough for his nose to brush yours, messy fringe framing his sleepy face. his hands flex around your palms, nails scuff on the contours, voice going so low you almost didn't hear him. " i can't fall asleep without it."
pinches your cheeks when in vie for your attention. in any case, he isn't against stomping his foot and whining as a last resort :<
his pout dissipates when you grant him with a collection of kisses or allow him to sit on your lap, fiddling with the ends of your hair or scribbling random phrases on your thigh that he makes you guess
i wouldn't put it against him to randomly jump into your arms or back. the questioning glances he receives hardly impedes him, instead murmuring an "i miss you," into your shoulder. he quivers in your arms when you comb your fingers through his hair, eyes squeezed shut in an air of bliss.
when it comes to deep embraces, he nestles against you akin to a cat, hands pawing wherever he can reach with greedy intent. and that cloak of his can easily encompass the pair of you, performing as a makeshift den of sorts. it feels like your enclosed own little world with him pressing kisses along your face like a butterfly
ranpo is attentive, all too familiar with your habits including the ones you don't cognitively account for. he notes the way you fidget with your fingers, and increasingly it came to be with his fingers you grew fidgety with. if you have a habit of tugging your sleeve, it's not your sleeve you're tugging on anymore but his instead.
he comes to recognize these patterns and responds in kind either with a squeeze to your clasped hand or tapping against your skin in a form of code.
has love hearts in his eyes when you offer to feed him. if he's feeling kind, he'll reciprocate the gesture, though, often at the expense of getting something he wants.
napkins are overrated, kissing off the crumbs or using his thumb are so much more favorable alternatives to him
" say ah~"
you cocked a brow as sugar became smeared on your lip - hardly helped by the titter coming from him. ranpo's persistence was tenacious and the myriad of his treats proved to be bottomless. you weren't sure how many treats you've been fed at that point but it's evident the former found enjoyment from the coddling as evidence of his dimpled smile.
ranpo offers you another confection, a velvety cookie glazed in congealed frosting. when you indulgently take a bite, the filling melts in your mouth and the taste of vanilla floods your taste buds.
" it's good right?" he gives you a smile as he observes your face, brightening when you react positively. " i got them just for you. i knew they were your favorite."
he suddenly pauses, eyes fixating toward your direction. he pays little heed to the look you send him, not when his gaze centers south; that should have been your first sign to up and leave - you want to blame his bribery of treats for your reason to stay.
" you got crumbs all over your face," he said, eyes squinting. while his tone was gentle with a trace of mirth, the way his eyelashes batted innocently at you alluded otherwise. ranpo always held a resurgent glimmer in his eyes, one that he couldn't blink away easily.
he hastily stops you before you could grab a napkin to dapple it away, residing to instead run his thumb along the corners of your mouth. the deliberate proximity catches you off guard and given how his lips shift into a faint smirk; that was exactly the reaction he was hoping to coax.
" much better," he leans back but not without pressing a peck to your nose first.
he plucks out another cookie - and much to your surprise doesn't eat it down right away. more accurately, he crudely cracks it half, revealing an abundance of sugary filling hidden within the confines. without a hint of hesitation, he dips a finger into the cream frosting and messily swatches it against his mouth.
his dimpled smile doesn't leave him for a second even as he slots in front of you directly. his pink cheeks and light stutter chipped away at his facade but his green eyes and lips pulled into a firm beam remained confident.
you almost detested the way it was infectious otherwise you would have rolled your eyes.
ranpo reached out to cup your cheeks, waiting. " it's only fair you do it back, okay?"
-
—ATSUSHI
he holds a lot of hesitation when it comes to enacting anything physical and it shows.
modest, never performing any actions without your explicit consent. even so he exercises slow movement and allows you the opportunity to withdraw if you so desire.
he follows you around a lot though, seeking comfort from being your presence
it shows in the way he inches himself closer to you when you're in the general vicinity. in the way he glances at you for confirmation before lacing fingers. in the way he scoots his chair to close just so his thigh is just slightly nudging yours.
he questions how you're able to be so composed even with something as minimal as brushing clothed skin because inwardly he's going abrack and he can't focus on anything else
" atsushi are you listening to what i'm saying?" your voice broke him from his stupor, head perking up
in the following moment he could do nothing more than let out a nervous laugh, eyes fluttering in companion of scarlet cheeks. " ye- i… erm.. can you repeat that please?"
actually him -> (〃´𓎟`〃)
his favorite physical attributes about you are your hands, i think! they're so strong, and it fits into his perfectly <3 he can spend an hour just tracing the lines along your palm and appreciating the details
as such he's a hand holder as well. he shyly links his pinky with yours before gradually lacing the rest of the digits. when he looks at the joined limbs, it's like a shot of comfort runs right through him.
you often catch him peering at you in the corner of his eyes, mosaic of yellows and purples squinting in intrigue. presently, his hands go clammy, fidgeting against his pants at a random manner; it was a common gesture of his, one that didn't go by unnoticed by you.
" something wrong?" he eases up a bit at the sound of your sincere tone.
" no, not at all," he gives off a nervous laugh, hand scratching the back of his neck. too far into his nerves, he failed to to recognize how the area became chafed. " i was just wondering," he paused, lips shaped into a bashful smile. " can i… hold your hand?"
atsushi didn’t have a mirror on him but he doesn't doubt that his face can put tomatoes to shame.
fortunately, the stiffened muscles on his back go slack at the giggle you release, a nervous chuckle pouring from himself. the erratic beat of his heart meanwhile, resumed its ricochet against his sternum, blood pounding on the lobe of his ear.
"you don't have to be so hesitant about holding my hand, 'sushi." you accentuated the statement by dipping your palm to take his.
it's evident he takes your words to heart, as next time he wordlessly hooks his index finger with yours before properly weaving the rest of the appendage. it was like a perfect puzzle, he reckoned and he gave his head the faintest tilt to gaze at it.
without realizing it, he rolls his thumb over the knuckles, savoring the exchange and the sensation of your fingertips on his. you haven't even spoken a word and already, his heart fills immensely full.
and if you pay attention, you may even catch him grinning at the presumably courageous gesture he mustered himself to do. his clammy palms tell you he's nervous, but it's hard to resist him when he's genuinely trying so hard.
when he does garner the confidence however, he holds his hand out for everything; helping you out of the car(princess treatment w him tbh!), guiding you to bed when you're really sleepy, or when he just needs to be in some form of contact with you. he may even take it a step and pepper some kisses on the knuckles or rub the joints
moving his hand along your back when you're having a bad day of sorts. he may even resort to drawing shapes or random designs with the back of his nail as he listens to all your troubles
whenever your face scrunches up he kisses the pinched muscle until it goes loose again.
" there's that smile." he pushes aside his diffidence for your sake, cupping your cheeks before pressing kisses along your cheeks.
for himself, he finds a sort of reprieve by lying down on your lap. the moment his head makes contact with your thighs is like instant relaxation for him.
and all he can pay attention to afterwards is the sensation tickling his ribs and the way you mindfully took his roots within your fingers.
he seeks stability in such actions; his deep exhale occupying your dorm and meandering with the dust particles that float around him. he doesn't even realize how he's nuzzling closer into your body, eyes squeezing shut when you favor his scalp for a few seconds.
if he could purr, he would
kissing the tips of your fingers and hugging you from behind ♡
its the best form of affection he could ask for when he comes home groggy and sore from work
" i'm home." exhaustion claws at his voice, movements stiff and sluggish as he strips of his tie and other accessories. his eyes surveyed the area, searching until…
a pop of familiar hues sweep into his vision. it revitalizes just enough energy to sustain a pair of open eyes, belied to the fatigue housed prior.
" welcome home, 'sushi." you greet with a smile he couldn't help but mimic even as the muscles in his body disagreed with it.
your mouth moves to mumble something else, but the words become intelligible to his ears. he was more far more concerned in slumping into the crevice of your shoulder, head falling into familiar position.
" miss you," he murmurs, rubbing his cheek against you, affectionate as ever. his hands wander down to your waist, finding the hemline. perhaps his growing daze subdued his rationality, for his hands slipped beneath, pinky faintly hitting skin.
" let's go." you gently tugged on his arm, intending to guide him to your futon; you only managed a couple steps before his grip went firm. almost uncharacteristically. when you turn your head, your met with a pair of fluttering lashes gazing at you - droopy but in its reflection was an intangible touch of fondness.
" this is fine," he brushes his lips to your cheek. the gesture was sloppy but enough to rekindle a grin on your face. " just want you here."
his finger sprawled against your stomach, heart hastening when you leaned back into him. he took the opportunity to douse himself in your comfort, relishing when you brush your fingers past his ear and scratch along his head.
he feels himself sink more when your nail caught a certain spot, just lateral to his head.
if it weren't for your voice breaking the silence, he would have surely fallen asleep at that moment.
" i'm right here," you murmur. " go ahead and rest." he wasn't sure how those words could weigh heavily on him as it did and also provide him the lull to drift off to sleep. but it didn't matter. the real thing is so much better than he can ever imagine.
when you cuddle together, he prefers to settle with his hand or head where your heart should be. the thumping is so reassuring, especially when his insecurities pipe up. he needs to know you're still there :(
on the days he can't sleep, he finds himself playing with your fingers: gently flexing the joints and counting the knuckles
he's docile at anything routley intimate; fuming a pair of uncomfortably hot cheeks and legs reduced to jelly. his words often come in the form of stutters and slurred syllables, the slightest of touches jolting him.
his actual kisses though are gentle and considerate, favoring areas such as your hands and cheeks.
in contrast, the drawn-out gestures are hesitant at first. when it came to the first kiss, he had to swallow down his nervousness.
" did i do okay?" he inquires, eyeing your countenance. he feels a crash of relief when a grin curves on your lips and in turn he flashes you a dazzling amiable smile.
"good." he nods at that, removing the space again with the intentions of lengthening it and making it better than the last. good was fine, but he wants perfect when it came to you
when atsushi gets a taste of what physical affection can be like; pecks at his face, squeezing your hand and spooning you close - he's hooked. and he wants more, becoming akin to an insatiable pit. and it's profound.
he yearns for more kisses and lingering embraces that set his nerves aflame. he yearns to be closer to you until it was just impossible.
it also spurs a part of him(and in consequence of his ability as well) a yearning to leave some markings along your skin. he tries to be considerate in where he places it, but he himself is awful at hiding his own blemishes.
a shaky expression drops on his face, the faint pink on his cheeks deepening to a cherry blush. he wasn't familiar to having your lips press beneath his chin, outlining the thrum of his throat - you could feel it's cadence whenever he sharply exhales, in pair of his palpitating heart.
even within his daze, atsushi remained cautious to not sink his nails into your shoulders. in comparison, he fails to suppress his shudder when your lips brush against a particular spot, air knocked from his chest.
when you glance up at him, his face contorts into a form of raw desperation, tugging onto your clothes until you were just shy of his mouth. meekly, he tries to not linger his gaze on your lips as you spoke; " is this fine?"
it's like you're teasing him, puffy magenta lips gawking at him and he wants nothing more than to kiss you again.
" it is." from the corner of his eye he could make out the faint reds that probed from his clothes hemline, dotting along his collarbone like swatches of paint. he doesn't think he'll ever grow use to it, filling him with an exhilaration he reasons can't be replicated elsewhere.
" i like it actually." his eyes squeezed shut in an effort to steady the eruption of red on his cheeks but it did little to quell his racing heart when you cupped his face, pressing a kiss to his mouth.
" i'm glad, you look handsome like this."
his smile reaches his eyes. "you look pretty too." his nails dug into his palms in an effort of restraint as he returns the gesture in kind.
-
I was originally hoping to include fyodor but this was so long already. w/ him (& unfinished) it would be 8k words. I rlly want to do version for sigma and akutagawa too. ty boxing fyodor anon 4 enabling my behavior TwT
these have so much room for improvement but I've fiddled around with it sm (๑′°︿°๑). if this doesn't leave the drafts now, it never will. I'll fix mistakes laterrr
taglist; @eynnwwyjth @anqelically @seisitive @iheartpieck @seiiblue @averagebsdwatcher @solandiss @4nthonyyliving @guacamole-roll @sunnyx07
be added or removed here !
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cordeliawhohung · 5 months
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need mafia!simon and shy!reader pda stuff in the club and out in public
you know what anon, i need this too. in this little shot we're gonna pretend simon and reader have been together for a bit. also i went to extreme pda and made them almost fuck hope that was okay lmao
mafia!141 masterlist
warnings: HEAVY pda, a bit of sexual tension, but mostly fluff, a little smooch, Simon can't keep his hands off of you, reader is an anxious sweetheart
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How you kept ending up in a place such as John Price's club was beyond you, and frankly a bit concerning. It was the last place in the entire world that you wanted to be due to how crowded, loud, and terrifying it was, yet be it because of your friend, or Simon Riley, you always made your way back there for one reason or another.
That night wasn't much different than any of the other times you had been there, and maybe you should have been grateful for the fact that the club was at least a little predictable. What wasn't predictable, though, was your boyfriend. Out of anyone you had ever met, he was a wildcard, which both intrigued and scared you at the same time. Always keeping things interesting, he was rather sporadic which was nice and yet the single greatest cause for your anxiety in most cases.
"A little more to the right," Simon prompted.
No matter where you were at, if there was a pool table, Simon was able to find it. You noticed that he always kept his hands moving like he was hardly ever able to sit still, be it checking something on his phone, or holding your hand. Pool seemed to be his drug of choice, though, which of course meant that you would always end up playing with him, where he would mercilessly beat you in every single round.
"Like this?" you asked.
"Tad too much. There, now shoot."
Despite his guidance, the tip of your cue grazed the side of the ball which sent it spinning too far to the left. Huffing, you straightened yourself up as you watched it clumsily bounce against the sides of the table before eventually coming to a stop.
"Yikes," you muttered.
"Thanks for lining up my shot for me, sweetheart," Simon teased.
Just like the last two rounds, Simon wrangled yet another triumphant win for himself as he knocked his last three balls into the pockets before slamming the last eight ball along with them. By that point you weren't even disappointed when you lost as you were very much used to it. Your boyfriend, however, never seemed to get used to how much he enjoyed gloating after each win.
"Another round?" he suggested.
"I think it'd be more efficient if you played by yourself at this point," you sighed as you rested your cue against the table.
Mirroring your actions, Simon rested his cue next to yours before he put his hands on your hips. You weren't prepared for how quickly your mouth would run dry, and you found your eyes blinking rapidly as you stared up at him. His touch was warm, it always was, or maybe you just thought it was because it always felt like your organs were boiling whenever he even so much as looked at you. But there were so many people around, too many people around.
"Bein' a sore loser, are we?" he teased.
It took a moment for the words to form in your mouth, like his touch had completely reset your brain. Eventually, your hands came up to rest on his chest as if attempting to keep some modest space between the two of you.
"Simon, there- there are people around," you said as you anxiously glanced around the area. The VIP bar had less people than any other area in the building, but there were still too many eyes for your comfort.
"What about it?" he asked. His thumbs began to glide along your hips, desperately trying to feel the softness of your skin through the fabric of your pants.
"Someone's gonna see," you defended.
Nothing you said seemed to deter Simon from his task. His hands continued to paw at your hips as his own pushed you against the pool table, trapping your legs as his head lowered into the crook of your neck. You could feel the embarrassment boil just underneath your skin, and your fingers gripped his shirt so tightly you worried it would rip.
"Let 'em see," he said, lips grazing against your neck. "They can mind their damn business if they care so much."
"Simon, seriou-!"
Your words were cut off with a squeak as he effortlessly lifted you up and sat you on the edge of the table. His hips nestled between your thighs and you were infinitely grateful that you hadn't worn a dress that time around. Still, no matter how grateful you were, it didn't change your precarious situation.
"Trust me, sweetheart," he assured you while his hands began to wander up towards your waist, "no one cares."
Every brush of his fingers and hands against you sent shivers throughout your body. It was the strangest feeling ever, enjoying his touch and yet feeling ashamed about it at the same time. Too many prying eyes, glances not actually meant for you but ones your brain convinced you were malicious. Maybe if you were stronger, more confident, more brave, you could have actually enjoyed the moment instead of worrying so much about it.
"I care," you blurted out.
Once those words left your mouth Simon's hands ceased in wandering over your waist. He slowly moved away from your neck and leaned back to look at you, where you found his expression was much softer than you had anticipated it to be. He was handsome all the time, but even more so when he looked at you like that; like you were the only person in the whole world.
With your hands still gripping the fabric of his shirt, you yanked hard on it and pulled him close enough until your lips crashed together. Everything in your brain screamed for you to stop, that people were around, that they'd think you were a freak, but it was as if something had possessed you. Surprised, but not at all upset, Simon returned his hands back to your waist as he moved his lips against yours.
To your surprise, it was actually Simon who pulled away first, and he was not at all trying to hide the slight smirk on his lips. You blinked a few times to clear your mind before you found one of your hands reaching out for your cue stick.
"A-Another round?" you asked.
Simon tilted his head to the side and you watched as a short chuckle rippled through his chest and shoulders. He reached for his own cue before taking a step back and allowing you to slide off of the table.
"I'll go easy on you this time," he claimed.
While he set the table up you stood watching him with a hand over your chest. Your heart pulsed so powerfully in your rib cage you were certain your pulse was visible in your throat. Still, you tried to shake off that trembling feeling of excitement that coursed through your body while you pretended your hands weren't struggling to hold your cue stick due to your sweaty palms.
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i thought about having simon make a joke about bending you over and fucking you on the table and everyone else could just deal with it but i thought that might've been too much so i went for something a bit more fluffy instead lmao. also requests are open again so feel free to send in some if you have any ideas (:
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starry-bi-sky · 5 months
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fast food is the best course of action after causing a scene. ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀɴʏᴀʟ ᴀʟ ɢʜᴜʟ ᴀᴜ
(First Post Here and Second Post Here
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Danny finds Sam easily.
She's right where she said she was over the phone: standing outside on a balcony, in Gotham, at Father's many charity functions. 
("Would you still be willing to fly over to Gotham, Danny?" She asks, her voice ringing clear through the speakers. Danny is already climbing out his window before she even finishes her sentence. He was just about to settle down for the night, his ghosts would know better by now than to disturb him at this time. The Box Ghost not included.)
("Of course." He says, sounding more confident than he feels. Sam was one of his best— closest friends, he would do anything she or Tucker asked. Even if it means stepping foot into his Father's city. He drops down silently, and walks through the house's ghost shield. "Would you like me to bring you anything?")
(Sam sighs through the phone, relief leaking through. "One of the veggie burgers from Nasty Burgers would be great, with their new ecto-fries. Extra salt. I'm sick of all this rich people food.")
(A small smile pulls across Danny's face, tilting at the corner as his living form falls away to his ghost self. "Alright," he says, and kicks himself off the ground, "I'll be there in a few minutes.")
("Thanks, Danny.")
He had the bag of food with him, stored in a container he had to run back to the house to get that would prevent the food from cooling during his flight over. Clutching it in hand, he floats down behind Sam and sheds his invisibility.
Being visible and being invisible always felt different, but in a way Danny can never describe, no matter how many times he tries to think about it. It's like a gut-feeling, a sixth sense, he always knows when he's visible and when he is not.
His ghost form burns away like steel wool being lit, and Danny drops the last foot to the ground silently. In his other hand lies his thermos, but filled with plain ectoplasm — lazarus water. "I have your food." 
(He brought the thermos for himself — his side was still healing from his last fight with Technus. The ghost impaled him with a broken pipe, and Danny returned the favor by wedging his sword into his chest. Technus had been quite offended by him ruining his favorite coat.)
Sam jumps a foot into the air, and her hand slams across her mouth to muffle the shriek she lets out as she whirls around. "Danny!" She hisses, her voice rising in pitch, and her eyes narrow at him into a glare. "Freaking-- Tucker's right, we seriously need to put a bell on you."
"You have been saying that for years," Danny grins, sharp-toothed and jack-knifed, and passes the container over to her. "And yet I've yet to see any kind of bell." He was going to start getting disappointed at this rate.
As Sam takes the container, Danny hops up onto the railing and looks around. He hadn't seen any of Father's other children lurking around the building before he revealed himself, but that doesn't mean they aren't there. He wasn't going to fool himself into thinking that their stealth skills were poor.
He wasn't that arrogant.
...Anymore.
"Oh you will." Sam threatens, unzipping the container and grabbing the takeout bag. "I'll get you a collar and everything, we can start calling you Catwoman." When she pulls out her fries, Danny snaps forward and steals one from the box, ignoring her indignant yell as he pops it into his mouth.
"I spent my own money on these fries, Sam." He sniffs, leaning away from her with a stifled huff of laughter as she swats at him. "So they are technically my fries. And also, Catwoman would be a poor thief if she wore a bell."
Sam grumbles at him, and takes a bite out of a handful of fries. "I'll venmo you money." She says past a mouthful of food, Danny would have been disgusted in the past, when he was still new. But he's gotten used to this... normality. So he makes no reaction to it. "How does three hundred bucks sound?"
Danny immediately frowns.
"Did you have a fight with your parents?" He asks, eyes glancing to the doors. Doors that are covered heavily by curtains and blurred heavily, decadent music passing through in muffled sounds. He shifts himself away from the light. "You only spend that much money when they've pissed you off."
Sam's chewing stops, and her annoyed expression falters into one Danny knows well -- hurt, furrowed brows, a small frown, disappointment -- and she turns her head away from him. She swallows. "Yeah." she says, quiet.
Oh.
Danny knows that tone too.
Guilt settles like a rock in his chest. He leans forward, "Was it about me again?" He wasn't blind to the disdain Sam's parents had for him, far from it. This wasn't the first time Sam had gotten into a fight with them over her friendship with him and Tucker. But especially him. He unsettled people, even after years of observing his age-mates and trying to mimic their behavior, and anyone who knew him in middle school knew it was an act.  
Sam's silence gives him all the confirmation he needs, and the guilt heavies itself with the weight of the sky. Danny's never much cared about others' opinions of him -- he is (was?) an Al Ghul, they never heed to mind what the weight of a simpleton's thoughts.
But.. he cares a little a lot when it hurts his friends like this. He presses his lips together into a thin line, and forces the words out through his teeth. It sounds robotic. Al Ghul's do not apologize. "I... am sorry." But this one does. It doesn’t come easy. 
Sam sighs through her nose, and turns to roll her eyes at him. "Don't apologize on their behalf when you won't even apologize for your own; their assholes." She says, and goes reaching for more fries.
It's a sign, a signal. A silent word for the conversation to move on, to change. A distraction. Danny grasps it with both hands, and makes an offended noise in the back of his throat. And like he has learned, puts a hand to his chest like a scandalized American southern lady. "I apologize! I apologize plenty."
She snorts. "Only when you think it matters." And pokes him in the ribs sharply with her fry. He withholds a wince and snatches it out of her hands. "You're about as unapologetic as they come, Danny J. Fenton. I've seen you look more sincere when you're trying to drive your sword between Vlad's ribs."
"Stabbing Masters is a very important task for me, Sam." Danny says in only partially faux-seriousness. Masters has yet to realize that Danny had no interest in becoming his son, but he had to (reluctantly) admire his persistence. "Of course I will apply myself to it as best as I can."
He grins triumphantly when Sam laughs, and she reaches over to shove him square in the chest. He barks out a laugh of his own as he grips onto the balcony railing and catches himself at an angle.
"Quit with your method actor talk," Sam retorts, grinning sharply while Danny twists himself back up elegantly. "I know you can talk like a normal person, I've literally seen you do it."
Danny sniffs, and snatches more fries from the carton as revenge. "I'm not entirely sure what you mean, Miss Sam." He says, grin-twisting when Sam rolls her eyes. "My speech has always been this way. This 'normal' you speak of, I do not know it."
She waves her hand dismissively at him. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. But if you keep talking like that, I'm pushing you off the balcony."
"Such violence, Sam."
He gets a laugh again, full of disbelief without any of the annoyance. "I'm gonna be the one that stabs you, oh my god. Pot meet kettle." She looks at him again, smiling.
Danny smiles back, and with a flick of his wrist pulls out a kunai from his sleeve. It was one of the few weapons Mother was able to pass on to him whenever she made her scarce visits. He cherishes it well, along with anything else she was capable of giving him. 
He holds the handle out to her, and watches her face shift from disbelief to shock, then back to disbelief. "Then you're gonna need a weapon to do that." 
"Of course you have a pointy object on you." She mutters, and takes the kunai and puts it in her purse. Danny makes a pleased hum, it resonates low in his core, and drops his hand. "When do you not have a pointy object on you?"
As if to make her point, Danny's hands twist near his side, and he holds his palms up to her, revealing the shobo he had also hidden on him. He gives her a shit-eating grin. "Never." He lowers his hand, and pockets the small weapon once again. 
Sam huffs, "Of course," she repeats, "thanks. I was gonna bring a knife but..."
Danny finishes the sentence for her, kicking his feet idly and knowingly. "The security at the door?" He'd seen them on his flight over the building. It wouldn't do much in the face of the Rogues, but at least they were good at keeping appearances and keeping out the smaller threats.
He rolls his eyes and turns his head away, looking up to the ugly, smog-covered skies. There was no bat signal in the air, and while that was a good thing, Danny almost wished there was. He wanted to see it. "I saw, and I would’ve called Father foolish if he hadn’t hired help. He attracts trouble almost as badly as I do."
"Maybe it's hereditary," Sam jokes, laughing under her breath. With her fries finished, she started on her veggie burger. "At least your dad isn't a vigilante like you are."
Danny smiles wryly. It felt nice to be able to talk more freely about this. That he didn't have to hide the fact that his father was Bruce Wayne, now that Sam knew it from her own accord. Maybe he could have conversations like these more often. Even if it was limited to Bruce Wayne only.
(Even if it felt a little terrifying to know that his father was so close by, close enough that Danny could reach out and touch him. To speak to him. But how would he explain that? And with an audience?)
(He’s wanted to see him since he was a kid, and he still does. It clings onto him like a cough that doesn’t go away after the cold already has, and while it has faded over the years, it clings. His mother’s words still ring in his ears however; it’s not safe. It’s not safe.)
(And isn’t that why he faked his death in the first place? So that his little brother would be safe? Why he gave up the heirship, his home, his Mother, Damian, and his chance to meet his Father? Going to see Father, even now, would be throwing that all away. He has to stay away.)
(Why is Damian with Father if staying with Father was unsafe?) 
He just needed to tell Tucker. Danny wouldn’t keep him out of the loop, he was just as much as his friend as Sam was. His eyes draw towards the door, where the golden glow of lights was still pouring through, where music was playing loudly. "Yeah, fortunately." 
They fall into a comfortable silence after that, and Danny finally cracks open his thermos. The pipe Technus impaled him with was covered in a goo that Danny didn’t recognize, but whatever it was, his injury was taking its time healing. The ectoplasm was speeding it up. 
He isn’t sure what the difference between the ectoplasm that Drs. Fenton collected and Grandfather’s Lazarus pools is, but there’s a difference. He swirls the thermos slowly, watching as the ectoplasm inside twists into a small whirlpool sluggishly. 
When left alone, it thickens into a consistency similar to egg whites, or perhaps a thick smoothie, but reverts back into a water-like substance when moved and swirled. It was strange; unexplainable. He can understand, to an extent, why the Drs. Fenton are so obsessed with studying it and the dimension it comes from. 
Sam watches him idly as he brings the thermos to his lips and drinks from it. The effect is instantaneous, a sense of relief washing over Danny as if someone had put a soothing balm onto an injury. It buzzes down to his fingertips, and when he lowers the thermos, he licks his lips and watches the tips of his fingers burn green like frostbite. 
“Your hair turned white again.” Sam comments, her hand reaching out and touching the hair on the nape of his neck. While it’s not the first time Sam’s touched his hair, it still makes him tense up with her hand so close to his throat. Instinct. dan
He ignores the urge to bat her hand away, humming thoughtfully. “I’ve noticed it does that.” He says, pulling down his bangs to see if they’ve also turned white. No, still black. He lets go. “Let me guess; my eyes are green too?” He lifts the thermos again and peers into the chrome casing. 
Sam nods, “Yep, but it’s only the, uh.” She makes a circle around her eyes with her finger. “The iris part. Everything else is fine.” 
Danny can see that. The faint reflection on the chrome casts back an intense green. He takes another sip. It chills the back of his teeth, and he can feel his canines warp and sharpen. He runs his tongue over them, and swallows. 
Sam is still watching him, her fingers drumming against the balcony railing. “What’s it taste like?” 
“Carbonated.” He says dryly, before taking a large swig. He couldn’t name a specific flavor if he tried, it changed every time he took a sip. The only thing that stayed consistent was that it tasted carbonated. And slightly sweet. When he pulls the thermos away, Danny twists his body towards her and offers it out, wiping his mouth on his sleeve. “Want to try?” 
Her reaction is immediate. Sam’s nose scrunches up and her mouth twists into a smile, and she makes a huffing-laugh sound. “No, thank you.” She pushes it away lightly with her fingers, “I don’t know how to explain to my parents why my hair is white.” 
Right. Danny pulls the thermos away and puts it down beside him, straining his eyes to see if the rest of his hair has changed colors. Even just his first sip would take half an hour to fade back to its normal black, and he was a halfa. He had no idea how long it’d take to fade on Sam, who was human. 
There’s movement from the corner of his eye, and Danny snaps his head towards the source. There’s a figure, small, a boy, trying to hide behind one of the curtains at the door. His form just barely peeking out from the angle Danny was sitting at. He wouldn’t have seen him if the boy hadn’t moved. 
His fingers curl tightly into the railing, and he breathes in sharp. Sam’s smile crumbles away and she turns to see what he’s looking at. “I should go.” He says, and reaches for his thermos. “There’s someone spying on us. Don’t say anything, just look at me.” 
Sam’s expression warps, twists. Her eyes widen, her jaw starts to drop before fixing itself into place, and her shoulders curl up and tense. She forces it all to smooth over, and she leans casually against the railing. There’s a tick in her jaw. “I see.” Her voice comes through teeth. “Do you think they saw you?”
“I am not sure.” Danny says. He keeps an eye on the figure as he twists himself over and grabs the Nasty Burger bag and the container. He tries not to look like he’s rushing. He is. How long has that boy been there? How much did he see? Did he hear anything? 
“Father, fortunately, has privacy films on the glass. Nobody should have seen me unless they’re specifically trying to peep through the door.” He says. The boy seems to realize that Danny was starting to leave. And, his heart beginning to sink, instead of leaving, moves to grab the door handle instead.
No. No, no, no, no, no.
Danny’s breath catches in his throat, he’s hoping that isn’t who he think it is. But how else would he have not noticed an eavesdropper on their conversation unless it was someone who was capable of bypassing those skills? He told himself that he wouldn’t fool himself into thinking that his siblings’ had poor stealth. He got distracted. 
Five years, five years. He refuses to let that go down the drain. He zips up the container and throws his legs over the other side of the railing, his back facing the door. He hears the doorknob click, and without a word to Sam, slips off down the side and down to the ground below.
Just in time. The once muffled music now sounds blaring as the door presumably is thrown open and the pull of invisibility washes over him like a second skin. He doesn't stay to see who it is.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#dpxdc crossover#danyal al ghul au#older brother danny#first danny pov of the au! whoo!#danny's hair turns white if he drinks ectoplasm brrrrr and his eyes turn green. good for him#this sat in my drafts for the last few days until i finally finished it during class#it was a math class and i already knew the material so tis fiiiine. now i just need to finish my CFAU post rewrite :)#ectoplasm tastes like that time i went to go get pepsi from the soda machine and it was all out of the pepsi flavoring so instead i got a#cup full of carbonated liquid. it was disgusting. ectoplasm kinda tastes like that. sometimes.#danny smiles in this more than i thought he would but yk it fits. he IS more smiley around his friends and family.#ectoplasm is a weird non-newtonion fluid and danny is fascinated. its got the consistency of egg whites one minute and then water the next#its a water slime and then suddenly its as brittle as annealed glass. it heats up and rots like milk or it heats up and boils like water#it congeals. it thickens. it boils. it solidifies. it does whatever it wants. it gels and melts into a tar-like substance#how long has damian been standing there? good question. :) i almost had him open the door and make eye contact with damian before falling#backwards. i also almost had it be *bruce* and damian opening the door bc bruce found out that damian pulled a knife on sam and was gonna#have him come apologize. that would be a fun scene. prolonged eye contact prolonged eye contact prolonged eye contact#imagery brrrr. had fun playing with how danny's ghost form works. if anyone has seen a video of steel wool burning thats how i imagine#danny's ghost transformation to be like.#also ayyy balancing danny's dialogue be like “how fancy should he sound and how Normal Teenager Should He Sound”#when sam gets home she catches tucker up to speed about everything including the convos with the waynes she had and they both form the#'“Fuck Them Waynes” squad. Sam has jumped to the entirely wrong conclusion about danny's separation from his family but in her defense.#it is a pretty sound conclusion to jump to considering the lack of context she has from danny's prior home life. which is almost none at al#so to her it looks like danny got abandoned by bruce wayne
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thevoidstaredback · 2 months
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How To Balance Your Daytime and Nighttime Activities So That You Don't Burn Yourself Out More Than You Already Have
Preparations, Danny soon realized, were very much useless. He'd spend a while just watching the vigilante, recording his habits and schedule, following him around and taking note of the little details. Call him a stalker, but he was just trying to make sure Nightwing didn't end up in an early grave.
Not like him.
Any and all preparations Danny had made could not ever fully gear him up for actually talking to the only vigilante he'd ever met. Sure, he knew the guy from afar, but actually speaking to him? Looking him in the eye? Having the other look back at him and actually respond? The closest he'd ever gotten to letting the guy know he was there was when he left food out for him and made sure he had water, sometimes coffee, within reach at all times.
Now that Danny was here, standing in front of the door to Nightwing's - Richard Grayson, he'd learned on day three - apartment, he was frozen. Was he actually about to do this? Could he really risk it? What if Nightwing flipped out?
No. He couldn't think like that. Nightwing's a vigilante, a detective, and an officer of the law. He won't attack willy nilly. Besides, it was too late to turn back now. Danny knew way too much about Nightwing's life to back off now.
Not allowing himself to hesitate any longer, he reached up and pressed the doorbell. He didn't hear the sound, but shuffling from inside alerted him that the man he'd come to see was now moving towards him.
'I hope this goes well,' Danny thought. Then, the door opened. "Good, at least you're taking care of yourself and actually eating proper foods. Now, I'm here to discuss your extracurriculars and how to time manage them properly without running yourself into the ground." He didn't mean to enter the apartment uninvited, but he didn't want to risk Nightwing closing the door on him or something. "I've brought my own board with an ideal itinerary that I expect you to follow." He turned to look at the man. "Any questions?"
Nightwing rook a second to process the words. Then, he said, "Yeah, just one: Who the fuck are you, kid?"
Well, he was in this deep, might as well dig himself a deeper grave. "I would say I'm your new legal guardian, but you're older than me and I can't exactly adopt a fully grown adult." Right? Yeah. Danny sat down stiffly, his bag on the floor and leaning against his leg. He pulled out the binder he'd cleared out and dedicated to helping the older vigilante and put it on the table. "I could say that you're my new legal guardian, but we run into a similar problem." Kind of. Being dead is a legal barrier, so adoption's off the table. Transferred custody on the other hand? Well, he's got that taken care of. Though, he had to wonder, "Could you adopt me?" No, he couldn't think of a way that would work. "No matter."
Nightwing, still standing by the open door, shook his head a bit as if to clear his mind. "I'm sorry, who are you?"
Introductions? Yikes. "I'm Danny! Nice to meet you!" He had no idea how he's not completely bombed this yet, but he wasn't going to complain.
Nightwing didn't move from the door, let alone shake his hand. Danny put it back on his lap. "Likewise, I guess."
"What, no name?" Was that pushing it?
"I'm optimistic, not an idiot." Yeah, he'd towed the line a bit.
Shrugging to try and rid himself of the nervous butterflies in his stomach, Danny opened the binder to the front page. It was mostly so he'd have something to do with his hands, but it proved to be a decent distraction for Nightwing, too. Though, he pushed down a blush when he saw the glittery blue writing. It was the only other pen he had on him and he'd stolen it from Jazz.
The distraction didn't last. "How did you find this place?" Nightwing asked, the door still wide open.
"Doesn't matter." He didn't think the vigilante would take kindly to being stalked followed around the subject of a kid's curiosity.
Nightwing very much did not seem to believe him. "Why do you think I have a day job and a night job?"
Did he- Oh. The man was probably holding out some kind of hope that Danny wasn't saying what he was saying. Oops. Should he apologise? "I'm a realist, not an idiot."
Throwing the words back at him was probably not the best decision. Then, again, Danny hadn't made a whole lot of good decisions since he'd stepped foot in Bludhaven. At least here, there was a chance he could get away with it, relatively scot free. Imagine if he were in Gotham? With how violent Batman got recently? No thank you. He'd rather take his chances with his parents.
Danny did his best to not clear his throat as he flipped to the next page. "First thing's first. Why do you do what you do? Why go out at night to fight crime when, I assume, that's what your day job is for? Why hurt yourself to help other people?"
Those were all questions he'd had to ask himself before the portal destabilized. Why did he do what he does? Why risk himself to help the people who'd never thank him for his help? Why put his life on hold to do the job of adults?
He'd thought he'd had solid answers for them back then, but he wasn't so sure anymore. Regardless, this was a good place as any to start helping Nightwing.
If he could help just this one person, he'd be satisfied.
Part 3 Part 5
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mydarlingdyke · 1 month
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melt
a dbf!abby x fem reader drabble
WARNING: SMUT!! minors dni or I'll grab ur feet from under the bed while u sleep
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summer hit like a tidal wave. the drops of sweat running down your chest and the scorching sunlight bleeding through the window was enough to drive anyone crazy. your solution? making freezing cold lemonade first thing in the morning. you'd taken a sip from it just to taste it; was it too sweet? maybe you messed up the amount of sugar... but then again, you preferred slightly-too-sweet over slightly-too-sour.
that wasn't your dad's opinion though, after he took a sip of it before running to get his keys. an emergency meeting at his workplace, something about an unplanned financial situation. that's the reason why you were left all on your own for the remaining of the afternoon... and you decided to put your time to good use.
loud music was playing from the portable speaker you set on the coffee table while your figure was splayed out on the couch, only in your underwear, reading some sort of magazine your mother kept in her room. the shorts and t-shirt you were sleeping in prior to that were on the floor and the AC was turned on, easing off the vapor that seemed to envelop the house. a particular song came up, and soon enough you were dancing around the living room, with hops and twirls and funky dance steps that would surely scare off anyone at a club. but it didn't matter, you were alone right? no one was there to burst your little bubble of delicious freedom.
or so you thought.
ding-dong, the doorbell rang.
you froze in place, looking like a deer caught in the headlights.
"y/n? you there?"
oh shit. shit shit shit shit.
abby anderson, your dad's best friend. and did I mention next door neighbor? her voice was distinct, you knew it from all the times your mind would replay its timbre and raspiness after hearing her say anything. it was almost entrancing, the soft and yet deep way she spoke... but this was no time to daydream.
in the blink of a eye you were scrambling across the room, looking desperately for your pajamas. fuck, where are my shorts? you kneeled down to find them under the couch.
"be right there!"
you yelled out, acknowledging her presence at the door. you threw your clothes over you in a haste, smoothing your hair down and panting a couple times before you opened the door to reveal the tall, burly woman in front of you. a black t-shirt and grey sweatpants, with her hair tied back in that familiar braid. you sometimes wondered what would be like to run your fingers through it, to braid it for her. or to tug on it while she's-
"everything okay?" her words took you out of your daze. you must've been staring because the way she eyed you up and down with that little smirk on her face... ugh! so hot and she doesn't even know it.
"uh, yeah! I'm fine, thank you ms. anderson." you chirped, breath still staggered from the short but tiring race you had just seconds ago. "did the music bother you?"
the sincere and sweet tone you spoke in made abby chuckle softly. such a pretty girl, worried she upset her friendly hot neighbor, looking up at her with guilt painted over her features. she decided to put those worries to rest.
"not at all! I just..." the woman says as she looks back at your driveway. "I saw your dad's car wasn't here, and I came by to drop of some stuff he asked me to get."
"oh!" you slightly perked up. "then please, come in..."
you gestured for her to walk inside, and so she did. the chilly air of the AC greeted her in a matter of seconds. she tried not to stare at the way your hard nipples were visible through the flimsy material of your tee. were you even wearing a bra?
it was simple, really. abby knew she had a thing for you the second you and your family moved into the cul-de-sac. with your beautiful hair and your sunny disposition. yet as she developed a close bond with your father she couldn't help but feel a little guilty. it was weird to have a thing for your best friend's daughter. she'd constantly battle the urges that suddenly bloomed in her chest when you were around.
but how could she? you were so pretty, so stunning, so sweet... whatever word she used to describe you, the feeling was the same.
that same feeling was present now, as she placed the bag of unknown contents on the kitchen counter. you were curious enough to try and get a peek: seemed like things you'd buy at a hardware store. then you remembered the loud clanking and whirring of metal machines in your garage this week, and it all made sense.
you moved away to stand in the middle of the kitchen, unsure of what to do next. it wasn't the first time abby dropped by, but never without your dad in the house. and especially not when you were this... flushed from the heat. yeah, the heat. must be the heat.
"so!" you quickly tried to make the awkwardness dissipate in your body. "you can, um, take a seat..."
your still shaky voice sounded sweet as you gestured towards the living room, the comfy red couch on immediate line of sight. once abby silently took up your offer and plopped on the soft cushions, it almost looked like she belonged in that space. the golden sun rays hitting her equally golden hair, making all of her freckles and sunkissed marks on her skin glow. she sat comfortably, a muscular arm draped over the top cushions; if you didn't know her you'd say she's acting all smug and overconfident like she owns the place. but the truth is she's been there so many times before, laughing and sharing with your parents about her life and experiences over a glass of wine on the weekends... she might as well own it.
"want something to drink? water, juice..." you were being a bad host, you had to change that. "I made lemonade this morning."
she just looked you up and down with a gentle smile. "lemonade sounds great."
your waddle to the kitchen was rushed, almost tripping over your slides. unsure hands and self-conscious fingers reached for a glass in a cupboard that was a little too high up. you felt her eyes on you. don't look stupid, don't look stupid. you stretched as far as you could to finally grab the frosted glass cup, pretending like the burn wasn't a little too intense for your limbs.
abby kept a steady eye on you, noticing how your shorts rode up your thighs. she felt like a vulgar man gawking at you, but that didn't stop her from taking every detail of your back bending over the fridge as you pulled out the jar with that sweet, lemony drink. how you poured ice into the glass and how you served it with such softness. this feels wrong.
and it definitely was.
you came back to her with your lips pressed into an awkward smile, putting down the chilled glass on the coffee table in front of you. and you stood there. why were you just standing there? she patted the empty spot next to her on the couch, and you obliged without hesitation.
she nodded softly before she spoke. "thanks, princess." the nickname made butterflies spring out of your belly, feeling that familiar shiver down your spine whenever you were around her.
you tried not to stare as she brought the glass to her lips, watching her throat bob gently while she almost drank the whole thing in one sitting. she stopped halfway through, letting out a satisfied ahhh sound.
"really good, just what I needed."
you blinked. "really? don't think it's too sweet?"
abby shrugged with a smirk. "it's sweet, but I like that."
a small silence fell between the both of you, only two seconds long until she broke it. almost as if she hesitated to continue.
"like you."
did the room suddenly get warmer? despite the AC blasting cool air into every corner of it? that's what you thought at least, because it seemed that your flesh was melting off of your face; cheeks red and chest tight. you were suffocating.
it was evident to the blonde sitting next to you too. she could practically see your skin melting into the couch, your clothes slowly engulfed by flames. god, how she wanted your clothes to suddenly combust. but she knew, unfortunately, that they wouldn't. at least not without her acting on it.
one hand on your thigh later, it's like your clothes were never there to begin with.
"tell me you want this." abby whispered between heated kisses, on your lips and neck and jaw. every single touch feeling it scorch your skin. a desperate set of lips snaked down your neck to your shoulder, nipping and sucking at the skin for far too long, leaving a red mark.
with quivering lips you answered a simple "yes, please", and that was enough to drive the woman mad.
you saw it in the way her beautiful blue eyes darkened, her gaze heavy on your features and down to every detail of your body. what a sight to behold. no barrier of fabric was left between you two, sweaty and hot bodies sticking together like glue. a rough hand went to your core, soothing circles around your already dripping core. slipping a finger, then two— until the stretch was stirring your insides with every push of her palm against your clit.
"atta girl, that's it... doing so good." she would coo into your ear, pressing a fluttering kiss right below your earlobe as you orgasmed for the first time under her touch. it came in one intense, magnificent wave that crashed over you mercilessly, and then the soothing ripples of the aftershock took place.
she took her digits out, coated in your slick and staring at them with an unreadable— yet undeniably aroused— expression. you whined at the emptiness, finally realizing they should stay inside you forever.
"c'mon, sit on the armrest." she commanded with a gentle voice. your body moved on its own, still sore from the pleasure you just experienced. once seated, she propped your legs open and positioned herself between them. "gonna give me one more, 'kay princess?"
and then you swore you were actually melting this time. because the way her head dove between your thighs, and her tongue moved so deliciously over your folds, tasting you like you could somehow soothe the aching heat of the summer— it made your legs sticky, your brow dewy and your lips parched. moan after moan, plead after plead, she was relentless against your cunt, slurping up every bit of liquid she could from that sacred spot on your body, leaving you dry.
your second orgasm soon approached, yet this time the wave was refreshing. like salt water spraying on your face in a beach day, like a cold shower in the middle of july, like a gulp of delicious sweet lemonade dripping down your chin.
you were in a daze, limbs buttery and fucked out— too fucked out to hear keys jingling on the other side of the front door. was this all a dream? or was it the heat?
yeah, the heat. must be the heat.
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joi-me-hoi-me-noi · 2 months
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Y/n with a extremely powerful cursed energy
Request from one of my friends who somehow found out about my writing obsession with different fandoms... thanks girl, you know too much now.
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Gojo
"I really don't want to fight anyone. Please, stop."
He doesn't say anything, his feet moving his being toward you. He was only walking. He thinks you're weak.
"Please, stop. I-I really don't want to hurt you!" You saw what he did to Hanami, you wanted it to stop.
Geto wasn't there yet so you had to stop him. He's standing right in front of you now. He looks down at you with a frown and then sidesteps you, starting his walk past you.
"Wait!"
You reach forward and grab his arm; he slightly jumps at the contact. You breached infinity. How?
He pulls away from you and crosses his fingers in front of himself.
"Domain expansion..." He was going to kill you.
You hold one finger up as the domain started to expand around you.
"Void."
A black veil swallows up his domain...he's in shock how a weakling like yourself was able to disable everything. A single snap of your fingers and the void you created forms tightly around him, he would lose consciousness soon.
You feel his breathing stop and cease your void, now back at the train station. You approach his body, crouching down to make sure he's unconscious. You go to rise to your feet and his hand shoots out to grab your neck.
"Your cursed energy is quite impressive, sadly, it wasn't enough. Now you're going to die here."
"Satoru."
The guy turns his head, looking at Geto and dropping his hold on your neck in the process. You push his hand away, gasping for air and moving toward Geto. He opens the prison realm and watches the man get swallowed up into the small box.
A hand is placed on your head.
"After the rest of them, your duties aren't over."
★・・・・・・★
Choso
You heard the loud fighting from the bathroom nearby and immediately rushed in, finding a knocked out Yuuji and the person who hurt him.
"Jesus! Yuuji!"
You rush over to him, feeling a soft breath on your hand. You let out a sigh of relief as you turn your head to dodge the arrow coming your way.
"Interesting. You're the blood manipulation dude I heard about."
Another arrow shoots out of his clasped hands, but you simply touch the tip of it, watching it turn into a bloody puddle on the floor. He demeaner falters as he watches you.
"You better count your blessings and hope I don't hurt you that bad."
★・・・・・・★
Sukuna
You thought it was insane that some random kid found their way into a veil and swallowed the finger of Sukuna.
"Y/n, he just-" "Megumi, exit the veil. I got it."
He was about to talk you out of it but then complied with the request you made. Using his curses to help him get off the rooftop quicker. Sukuna turns to you, a crazy smile appearing on his face. His fingers swipe in front of him, obviously trying to cut you. Nothing happens.
He does it again and again, nothing happens.
"No matter how many times you try it, it's not going to work."
He, of course, continued to try to hurt you and then groaned in annoyance when it wasn't working.
You stand in front of him and quickly nullify Sukuna. You click your tongue and carry the boy out of the veil, seeing Megumi and Gojo. Did this man really go shopping?
"Satoru, we have a problem. This kid swallowed Sukuna's finger and now he is his vessel."
★・・・・・・★
TODO & ITADORI
You run in from around the corner, watching Mahito getting beat up. His body rolls in front of you and he looks up at you. You give him your hand and pull him up.
"Well, you look like shit."
"Shut up and handle these two for me."
"You know you're going to owe me for this right."
Mahito runs off and leaves you standing there with the two boys.
"Hi! I hope you two aren't as boring as the others." You stretch out your limbs and start running towards them.
Todo and Itadori runs toward you, trying to grab you, they both fail. You jump up, suppress Todo's energy and using your foot to kick him into the wall. Then you hold Itadori's punch, draining the energy from his body.
"Someone's getting sleepy."
A quick push and he falls over, still alive but asleep. Todo springs back into action, trying to restrain you in some way. Using the drain energy from Itadori, you deliver a hard punch into Todo's abdomen, sending him into the way and knocking him out cold.
"That fight was barely fun..."
★・・・・・・★
TOJI
He just sliced a deep cut on Geto's chest, leaving him in the rubble. When he's walking away from the body, Toji hears something stirring behind him. He quickly turns his head and points his gun at you.
"Y/-Y/n." Geto's hand reaches out shakily, trying to push you away from him.
"Shh... I'm here. Rest." His eyes close and you used your technique to send him back to Jujutsu High, someone will help him.
"I can't believe an old man, of all people, killed THE Satoru Gojo."
BANG!
You appear behind him, sitting on the rubble pile.
"Let me tell you, I'm not like Satoru and I don't die easily."
BANG!
Your hand is around the gun barrel, it starts to dissipate in your grasp. He lets go of the gun and moves away from you. A smile appears on your face and then you sigh.
"I won't get to fight you like I wanted to after all. He's awake now and ready for a rematch. Bye now."
With a quick wink, you disappear into thin air leaving him to walk out the same way he came.
★・・・・・・★
A/n: The way my creativity was working like a machine is fucking insane. My brain hurts and I'm going to bed...
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kaciidubs · 6 months
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Curious Cat
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❣ Summary: Perhaps being curious wasn't all that bad. ❣  ❣ Word Count: 1.48k ❣ Warnings: Slight Sub! Chris, fluff, smut, comfort, use of safeword, sex toys [vibrators], slight overstimulation, aftercare ❣  ❣ Female! Reader [No use of Y/N] | You/Your pronouns ❣  ❣ Additional Tags: Chan is referred to as Chris, Channie, Baby, and My Love, Reader is referred to as Baby, unedited ❣ Stray Kids Masterlist ❣ General Masterlist
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Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back - and boy, was this cat satisfied.
Chris didn't intend on snooping around your room when you left to get snacks for your impending movie date, nor did he intend to find a few hidden objects in your sock drawer.
Who knew him wanting to coo over your cute Sanrio themed socks would've turned into him holding not one, but two of your sex toys?
"Alright, I think I have every- Why are you holding those?"
His head snapped in the direction of your voice, your hands holding two convenience store bags filled with the snacks you'd promised.
"I-I, um, I didn't mean to-"
"Are you trying to skip the movie and get to the good part of the night?"
The suggestiveness in your tone made his heart skip a beat - sure, he was ready for you no matter what, but he genuinely wasn't trying to come off as entirely horny, he was just curious.
"I wanna watch the movie, really, but..."
Looking down at the toys in his hands, he couldn't help the thoughts brewing in his head; how do you use them? Do you use them by themselves or do you watch the private videos you two have made while touching yourself? Do you use one or multiple in one night? Do they make you come just as hard as he does?
"I... I think I wanna know how these work."
"On me?" You mused, a sly smirk growing on your lips, "Or on you?"
Oh.
Was that even possible? Could your toys work the same on him as they do for you? Could they make him come just as hard as you do?
Chris was curious, some may say too curious for his own good, but he wouldn't let that deter him.
Which is how he found himself now; naked and writhing on your bed as you held a small blue vibrating toy to the leaky head of his cock, the two bunny shaped ears vibrating in a pattern that left him breathless.
The rabbit vibrator, you'd told him - it was your go to for nights where you just wanted to get off and go to bed.
It made his head spin just simply knowing that the toy currently on the flared tip of his dick was also used on your clit.
"How's it feel, baby?" You cooed, the only piece of clothing still on your body being a basic pair of cotton panties. "Feels good, right? I didn't even have to use too much lube with the way you're dripping right now."
He whined out a sound of agreement, too focused on the pulsing of the toy to pay you any mind.
"This next one is new, I haven't even used it on myself yet but that's okay - you can be my little test bunny, yeah?"
"Y-Yes, fuck yes, please." If one toy was able to make him feel this good, then whatever you had planned for him next was more than welcome.
The small, targeted vibrations of the rabbit left his cock, prompting him to open his eyes and look down at you in question before his gaze locked onto the next toy in your hand.
It was bigger, sort of shaped like a microphone, and was slightly intimidating based on the simpler, theme-less design.
"It's a Hitachi wand," you explained, turning it to give him a full view, "it's supposed to have more power than the rabbit, but since I haven't used it yet, I don't know how it's supposed to feel on me - so, make sure you tell me everything you feel, okay?"
Chris nodded, his dick throbbing in anticipation, "Okay, yeah, I will."
You took a moment to coat the soft bulbous tip with lube before turning it toward him; rubbing it along his shaft to give him a general idea of what it feels like while it's not running.
"Ready?"
"R-Ready."
The click of a button was all he could register before a strong wave of vibration forced a choked gasp from his plump lips.
He could feel it everywhere; from the tip of his cock to his abdomen - he could even feel the vibrations in the taughtness of his balls, it was insane.
If it weren't for the fact that you were sitting between his legs, he probably would've been folded like a chair from the pleasure.
"Channie? How's it feel, baby? What is it like?"
His hands fisted the sheets, chest heaving in uneven breaths as he tried his best to collect the brain cells to form words.
"I-It- oh fuck, fuck, it's so- it's everywhere, baby- oh my god don't stop, please don't stop!"
His stomach was coated in precum, his cock leaking in ways you haven't seen before - you were almost jealous it was being wasted on him instead of in you, but that would be fixed later on.
Pressing the vibration button, you kicked up the speed and pressed the toy against the underside of his cock, right against a vein you were graciously familiar with.
The sound he let out was crossed between a grunt and a gasp of air, eyes rolling to the back of his head, and before you knew it, thick ropes of white streaked across his chest and stomach.
It was like he was frozen in time, stuck between breaths and stomach contracting with each wave of cum leaving him, numb to everything but the constant vibrations now spreading throughout his body.
At the same time, you weren't fairing any better; watching in shocked amazement as your usually loud finishing boyfriend was resorted to nothing but choked breaths and twitching limbs. It wasn't until a certain gasped word forced it's way past his lips that you were brought back to reality.
"R-Red- Red-"
You turned the toy off immediately, tossing it behind you as your hands moved to hold his shaking ones, knuckles white from his grip on your sheets.
"Okay, Channie, it's okay - we're all done, yeah?" You could see the faint streak of tears shining down the sides of his face, watching as he tried nodding his head. "You're okay, baby, just take a deep breath with me - slowly, just breathe with me."
He took a shivering inhale, broken between soft hiccups, before sighing it out slowly, his body relaxing just a bit.
"Good boy, just a few more times for me, alright?"
With each breath taken, his body finally relaxed and the tension in his hands released enough for you to slip your hands into his palms, thumbs caressing his undoubtedly sore knuckles.
"You did great, Channie, such a great job - will you be okay if I leave to get a washcloth to clean you up? Do you want me to run a bath?"
Chris shook his head softly, squeezing your hands, "Just... Just a washcloth... A-And some water, please."
Nodding, you leaned down to press a kiss to his right hand, "Alright, baby, I'll be right back."
It only took a few minutes for you to return with the warm washcloth and a bottle of water, gently wiping up the mess of cum from his skin and lube from his softening dick, before helping him sit up to drink.
He finished the water bottle in record time, chugging it as if he just finished a set on stage before letting out a deep sigh, leaning his head against your headrest.
"That was..."
"Intense?"
"Amazing." He laughed lightly, "And intense too, yeah, but it was... I never felt anything like that before, but I feel like if I didn't tap out then, I would've passed out."
Small giggles bubbles from your mouth, shaking your head at his honesty, "Well thank you for letting me know - do you need me to do anything for you? More water? Food? Wanna talk it out some more? Where's your head at, my love?"
A small hum left him as he opened his eyes to gaze at you through a soft haze, "Food sounds great, and we can definitely talk about it more but not before you tell me how you're doing. I'm alright, really, just a little overstimulated - but what about you? I didn't mean to scare you with the safeword."
"You didn't scare me at all! I was just worried about you, trust me - I'm just glad you're okay." Scooting closer to him, you pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek, smiling as he press himself into you. "I'll order the food, you just focus on cooling down, yeah?"
He nodded before looking at you with puppy eyes, "Can we order a pizza?"
Rolling your eyes, you laughed, "Yes, we can order a pizza - find something to watch then we can talk about the toys some more."
With a hum of agreement, you set off to put your date night back on track.
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✧. ┊Tagged lovelies: @goblinracha, @having-an-internal-crisis-rn, @midnightfrog625, @anyhow-everything, @bangchanbabygirlx, @sweetracha, @j-onedrabbles, @happilydeepestwonderland, @nightimescapes, @caitlyn98s, @ch4nn13luv, @ihrtlix, @sometimesleeknows, @jeonjungkookenthusiast1997, @maximumkillshot, @y-ur--i, @acker-night, @dreamescapeswriting, @specialstay, @broken-glowsticks, @s00buwu, @dancerachaslut, @junglyric, @tinyelfperson, @jj-stay, @katsukis1wife, @inlovewithmusician, @keen-li, @armystay89, @main-character0, @vampcharxter
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anantaru · 1 year
Text
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DIFFERENT KIND OF FINE
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— ꒰ synopsis ꒱ — being kaveh‘s younger sibling can be quite jarring yet you‘re eternally grateful for his hot room mate keeping you company while you wait for him.
— ꒰ word count ꒱ — 4.3k
— ꒰ warnings ꒱ — [ns]fw, fem! reader, reader is in their 20s + kaveh‘s step sibling, kaveh is both older than you and alhaitham, perv alhaitham ??, he's calling you a 'good girl', he's a tease
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by now, how many times in your life did you have to run after your careless, irresponsible brother?
had to make sure he isn't doing anything reckless again, despite him being an akademiya graduate. Or that one time when he had visited your home only to forget half of his belongings, requiring you to carry them all over to his place.
well, not to his place to be exact.
after yet another foolish decision in kaveh's life, your step brother even got himself caught up in heavy debt, being in need of a place to stay.
however at first, he had asked you, but ever since you had gotten adopted you had already spent the majority of your life with him.
to say you were tired was an understatement.
as a matter of fact kaveh did find a place to stay in the end, one you were quite surprised to hear of, bewildered even, you just couldn't wrap your head around how on earth that was supposed to work out in the long run.
you had heard of his roommate, the akademiya's scribe, or how most people were referring to him, as alhaitham, from kaveh himself, aside of the very detailed stories about how ill mannered and ignorant he could become, especially to your brother in question.
in all honesty, it made you laugh, you mean to tell him that yes, sometimes messing with him, taking a lot out of him could be fun in all aspects but maybe it was due to the fact that you were practicing those methods from your childhood days on.
as life went on, you found yourself at his new settling every once in a while, more often when the scribe himself wasn't there, almost as if kaveh was trying his utmost best to never have you both meet each other.
once you had asked him as to why, feeling insulted that he even thought you wouldn't realize when he was making it painfully conspicuous, more whenever your brother would panic that *now* he was usually coming home from his work, you had to leave right now.
all he had to say about it was that he was certain you wouldn't like him anyways, would actually loath him too and wasn't it a part of nature to protect your younger sibling from each major plague in life?
to that, you couldn't respond with anything meaningful, suffocating the conversation right then and there because truthfully, though it may seem strange, you didn't think your brother would lie to you in that precise set of circumstances because maybe he was right, perhaps you really would hold a hostile environment towards the scribe.
even now, as you were strolling through an appealing, warm evening in sumeru city, you not once had met alhaitham, at this being slightly hopeful that you wouldn't cross paths with him today either.
because you see, it was that time of the month again, the: your brother has, again, forgotten something at home after visiting you, putting on the responsibility on your shoulders to fetch and transport it back to his place.
ordinarily you concluded that at this time of the day kaveh surely must've gotten home by now, you knew his schedule by heart and were quite confident to meet him there right away, knocking on the door as you at last, found your way to the huge place he resided in.
knock, knocking once more, silence ... knock again?
after knocking a total of three times, with no one opening the door for you, your expression slightly changed from normal, to confused, to that of being utterly annoyed.
it's not like you didn't have anything better to do other than being your brothers little assistant or however you wanted to frame it.
since you had been to his place numerous amounts of times before, in addition that you determined that he surely must've fallen asleep again, you decided to check the door handle to see if it was open all along, which it then, was.
(you put an important mental note in the deepest ends of your brain to scold him afterwards for carelessly leaving the door to his home open like this.)
you carefully cradled your fingers around the door handle to pull it down, pushing the door open to let yourself in.
okay, well, maybe it wasn't a smart idea to just straight up enter a home from someone you didn't know, but kaveh was living there for a good amount of time already so you didn't think too much of it.
the second you had entered you swiftly closed the door behind you, the faint breeze from outside scampering around your body as you tightly held onto the two books he forgot at your place, walking towards the living room.
"kaveh?" you spoke, rolling your eyes and deciding to get a bit louder, already being done with this whole, bloody situation, "kaveh!"
once reaching the living room you with, might i add, a bit too much applied strength, violently thumped the books onto the wooden coffee table and huffed out, distressfully folding your arms in front of your body.
"what has that poor table done to you?" you helplessly shrieked the moment you had perceived an unfamiliar, deep voice, the little hairs on the back of your neck standing straight while you were slowly turning around in horror.
"who are you?!" you could say you spoke before actually bringing the whole situation to your mind to thoroughly think about it, leaving the unacquainted man in front of you with a confused look on his face.
"I think i could ask you the same." he was quick to gather a response, flawlessly bringing himself a step closer towards your frame but still leaving enough space between your bodies.
"because you see, this is my house." instead of kindly introducing himself to you, like any other person would, he swiftly walked past your body to plop himself onto the massive couch.
but never keeping his gaze off you, carefully sliding his eyes from your lips, to your exposed collarbones and glissading them over your body until reaching your legs.
it seemed as if he was waiting for a response from you, after all you had now rapidly deducted that this had to be none other than the scribe, alhaitham, himself.
you turned around to slightly lower your gaze to where he was sitting at, nonchalantly sipping on his cup before placing it on the coffee table right next to kaveh's books.
"so .. you must be?" warily, you allocated a question into the room, anxiously swaying in your footing from left to right.
"the owner of this house."
seriously?
the least he could do now was approach you back in kindness instead of making it a dozen amount more difficult for you, as well as embarrassing.
"that's not what i meant." how rude, okay, to give him the benefit of the doubt you were the one who broke into his house but clearly he must've known who you were.
or maybe he actually didn't when you take into account that all kaveh and alhaitham would do was bicker with each other day on day, play pranks or make it as difficult as possible for one another without actually exchanging a normal sounding sentence, once.
"what did you mean then?" casually, he settled back into the couch to withhold the long overdo smirk on his lips, leaning one hand over the frame, his eyes being currently fascinated by your cute lips, pretty eyes, attractive thighs and in confusion, scrunched up face.
or what about the skirt you were wearing, it neatly fit you and magnified your alluring curves, as if it was tailored just for your body to dress in.
what if you were to bend down right now, would the garment expose your cute panties underneath or was it just right, situated under your plump ass? keeping everything hidden from his hungry eyes.
your expression was being somewhat amusing, the hilarity of it all barely being able to be hidden.
"you know what? I'm leaving." attempting to stressfully remove the books off the wooden table, he quickly rose up to confidently sit upright, "wait."
"i assume you're kaveh's sibling?" the worst thing of it all was the tone in his voice, as if he wasn't actually asking you, just proving his own thesis. "yes."
you slowly pulled your shoulders back to appear more poised in your mannerism, standing upright when he suddenly shifted in his seat, scooting as to try to make some space for you.
"i'm alhaitham, though i don't think you've heard many good things about me." at the tip of his sentence, he gently tapped the now empty area next to him with his hand, beckoning you to take a seat.
what harm was there in doing that, right? it appeared as if kaveh wasn't home yet so you could spare some time to wait for him, with alhaitham, of all people.
his voice reverberated a deep, gentle timbre, as well as a controlling chime trussed around it.
you've quietly settled on the couch and exchanged names with him, you were wholly surprised to find such a man, that was for one, in all aspects different from what your brother had originally told you about and second, although he shared a couple intimidating peculiarities— which might be a natural revealing trait from his work, alhaitham was a clever, pleasant person to have a conversation with.
"kaveh is getting held back at the akademiya." he was idly finishing his drink, inconspicuously scurrying a couple inches closer to you.
"you can wait here if you want." you smile at his proposal, situating yourself within reach to better listen to him, "thank you so much, i will."
alhaitham hummed at your sense of utterance, his choice of words was well thought after, his body language too, turning it altogether more clear.
"who knew kaveh's sibling would be so well mannered." he added, understandably focusing on your lips or how they held a glint of sparkly lipgloss on top, "it's so different from him."
how would you taste like? the lipgloss he means.
would it be sticky on his lips? if he kisses you, or taste artificial, maybe a small amount of strawberries, the gloss faded in a translucent tone after all so all he could do was guess.
you're finding yourself awkwardly laughing at his words, "he's not always like that." nodding along, you decided to not dwell on it any longer, it was polite to bring forth your well mannered approach, after all he did open his doors for you ..
.. or you actually did, but he let you stay.
"i don't think kaveh is as polite as you?" he was lingering a bit closer now and for some reason you found the warmth his body set free pacifying.
you're able to fully glance over his facial features, focusing on the small dimples dwindling around the corners of his lips, his multicolored irises or the enticing cologne hanging in midst the air.
your nostrils were slightly flaring, involuntarily memorizing his scent, archons, you couldn't stop yourself from traveling into your thoughts, fighting every square in your body to halter yourself from drifting off into your daydreams.
"uh-" at first, you had no clue he was staring at you the whole, damn time, his hair strands were effortlessly falling around his porcelain skin, intently watching you through his thick lashes, "it depends on the person, i think."
"on the person you say." he trails off before smiling at you, a little coy and intriguing, the right corner of his lips being tucked back into a smirk.
you didn't even realize how close you two have been sitting next to each other by now, only being brought back to reality when you accidentally nudged your knee against his own, pulling in a sharp breath through your nose.
his scent was now heavily falling down on you, much more violent than before. A tease actually, that's what he was and you fell into it head first, your embarrassment cushioning your sweet cheeks with immense warmth as you disconcertingly pushed your thighs together.
so sweet, you never questioned yourself, and what about your brother? would he want you to fuck his roommate, or maybe, try and kiss him right now? and you know you shouldn't, obviously.
you could just fantasize about it after getting your ass up to leave this place, or this suffocating heat he effortlessly inflicted on you with nothing more than his pretty eyes delving daggers into your sweet skin.
but you wanted to taste it, the actual thing, his plump lips, you weren't this captivated by a person in a long time and it somehow scared you away, almost that is, because right now you were still sitting next to him, your knees playfully rubbing and nudging together.
his hand suddenly moves from his side to yours, gently being placed on top of your swaying thigh, massaging the soft skin when he noticed your slight shaking.
you returned his call, attempting to close the distance when he suddenly spoke again, "what would your brother say to this?" you only realize his hand wandering down more close when he rubbed painfully slow circles into the insides of your warm thigh, "would he be surprised, mad or furious?"
you're whining, he didn't even touch you on your burning little sensation and you were already helplessly heaving out, soft cries prickling from your throat to escape your lips.
"he doesn't have to know— please." this whole situation had your body tear each square of control off you and you were wondering what you were begging for in the first place.
perhaps to alhaitham— to keep his mouth shut in front of your brother, or maybe, you were additionally begging him to finally touch your clothed pussy with the flimsy material of your panties being drenched with nothing but your slick.
"Mm, please?" he's acting innocent, gently tipping his head to the side as his hand delved deeper, carefully pushing past your skirt, cupping your wet heat at once. "ah— there we go."
a single finger worked against you as you silently cried out, resting your forehead against his own while spreading your legs a little farther away.
it's only his middle finger but it still felt big, his build was remarkable and you could perceive a couple veins accentuating the back of his muscular arm rubbing circles on your clothed clit.
"you're wet there." he notes almost immediately, "what were you thinking about this whole time?" oh how sweet you were, the ticklish sensation of his knuckles ghosting on your skin had you giddy on the inside, your toes curling in your shoes. "n-nothing."
you deny whatever he thought about yet alhaitham knew better than this, way better, the amount of essence that coated his fingertips was too much evidence for you to blatantly repudiate his questions.
"pull up your shirt." he's fast, whispering against your neck when he instantaneously planted wet, open mouthed kisses on the thin skin, roughly slithering his tongue over it.
you do as he commands, quickly discarding your shirt but not completely, only letting the garment clutch over your breasts that were covered by your bra.
"good girl." you're trembling at the nickname, in your seat greedily burying your hands into his soft hair to pull him closer to your neck, letting him plant gentle bites and nips on you while simultaneously skimming his finger over your shielded folds.
"can you—" before you could finish, you stopped yourself from speaking, your attention being redirected by your sensitive little clit being pinched on.
you're throwing your head back at the slightly painful, yet fiery touch on you, "ah, please, more!" the anticipation in you to finally have his fingers deep inside your pussy, stirred up the adrenaline in your blood, yanking one of your legs over his own as alhaitham pulled you closer.
"more?" you clearly caught his interest, he lightly taps your clit with his middle finger before adding another one, your thighs instantly jolting up at the applied friction of another digit. "like this?"
"yeah— like this." you weakly responded, your voice a tone higher, alhaitham huffed out his warm breath on your damp neck that was wholly and sloppily glazed with his saliva when you smiled airily at him, resting your head against his comforting shoulder.
you're suddenly crying out, biting back a delicate whine when he gingerly hooked his fingers into the garment to at last, meet your exposed cunt, licking his lips at the sight.
if only your face wasn't so mesmerizing to look at while he's scissoring your tiny hole, alhaitham wanted to map it all out, your little pussy, every single inch, embed it into his perverted mind and jerk himself off at the thought of it afterwards.
he's greedily pulling your panties down, letting the flimsy material loosely dangle around your ankle as he positioned your leg back up on his own, watching your fluttering hole clench down on his curled up fingers.
if it wasn't for his other hand holding you open you were sure you would've suffocated the blood in his other arm by the way you wanted to push your thighs together around him, messily riding his digits with your bare cunt.
"i love how you feel down there." he shamelessly threw into the room, as if he didn't even care how shameful this situation was in its entirety, "you feel so good clamping down on me like that."
he smiles when he caught you yank your hips up a bit, meeting his pace midway, the raw squelching sounds of his fingers selfishly digging into your squishy walls rang through the big living room, your eyes squiring a glassy expression by the force alhaitham was going for.
"what if your brother comes in now?" at this, you reasonably gasped, desiring to actually smack that stupid grin off his face, "d-don't say that!" you mutter inaudibly as you're tucking him closer, your breasts cramming onto his chest when he looked at you, "really now?"
"imagine poor kaveh sitting on this couch afterwards." alhaitham heaved, abruptly pecking your lips when you deducted that this was the first time he had kissed you, at all, "the same couch I'm finger fucking his sibling on, right now."
you're moaning out screaming when he added a third and final finger, splitting your tiny hole with his thick digits and curling up, nudging the hammering spots deep within in your creamy walls.
his inappropriate choice of words had your mind turn hazy, liquifying all the rational thoughts in your body and turning them to nothing at all, dissolving them and replacing them with filthy, perverted things.
you could name it a carnal desire when you decided to hungrily kiss him, capture his plump lips with teeth colliding against each other.
it wasn't as tasteful as you thought it would be at first, the built up tension made it quite difficult to focus on two tasks at the same time, in addition to how hard alhaitham was fucking your tingling cunt.
yet alhaitham didn't mind, he wholly welcomed you, circling his wet muscle over your own as he pushed you deeper into the couch, adoring how your thighs began to vibrate from the sense of overstimulation he was capable to inflict on you throughout seconds.
how was it possible for him to be so good at this, so fucking skilled at pleasuring you senseless?
really, he only had met you today and you couldn't even remember another time when you were this needy, this wet and filthy minded because of another person.
"I think I'm close." you mewl out, your eyes being low lidded and beginning to strain from merely holding them open. Alhaitham snickered at your words, desperately suckling on your lips as he further amplified the tempo on your pussy. "close you say?"
he worked like magic, truly, it was addicting to be with him, the pleasure in you was heavily boiling, more so when your sensitive nipples began to roughly rub over the edge of your bra, your areolae being half exposed for his hungry, desiring eyes.
he was quick to pull himself away from your swollen lips, instead drawing himself to one of your nipples to encircle it in his warm mouth, greedily suckling in his breath to nibble on your tit while carrying on with his relentless pace on your cunt.
your lips twitch when you clasped them together, his finger pads grazing through the squishy flesh when your body tensed up, your hands having no other choice than to cradle around his neck, finally letting your orgasm wash over you.
"come on." his voice was raspy, "we're running out of time, you can do it, pretty." at his words you were helplessly scrunching your eyes shut, to half of his sentence you didn't even listen to, it was clear that the brutality of his touch alone would leave you sore, painfully sore but also yearning for him to do it once again.
you're limply grinding your hips into his hand a couple more times when you vehemently released into him, his palm being utterly drenched in your filthy slick while his thumb was carrying on to roll over your overstimulated clit.
you're moaning out his name, it felt silly to do it, to say it like that as if you were actually familiar with each other, contradicting the reality which was that you had just met him, not even hours ago.
"would you look at yourself." he purrs, alhaitham was lazily digging his fingers into your swollen cunt, captivated by your exhausted body listlessly leaning back, your chest heaving up and down and your thighs tightly clamping around his arm.
it was far too humiliating to look at him, to even speak back or say something.
because why, the moment you'd be brought back to reality, after a good fucking orgasm, all the problems would scrub over you in an instant, not even giving you additional time to bath in your deserved afterglow.
you noisily peaked between your legs with your loose cunt being still filled by his thick digits, noticing a dampened splotch underneath.
"you ruined my couch." he's noting before messily pulling out of you, his fingers being drenched in your sticky mess and quietly connecting to your cunt with a string of your essence holding you together.
"i— i didn't do it on purpose." you panic, not catching on that he was actually being sarcastic with you.
alhaitham for once, broke off the attention from your body, locating it to his soaked fingers before slowly opening his mouth, placing them on top of his tongue and closing his lips around it.
your eyes grew wide, the downright sinful look on his face had you hypnotized, another rush of excitement pistoling into you.
you find yourself staring without shame, drooling over the fact that alhaitham began to groan around his fingers, slurping them clean while searching for your gaze to hold them close to his own.
you were sure you were never going to get rid of this picture in your memories, you'll have it installed in your deepest depths forever.
when he was done, he carefully slid them off his lips, attempting to say something if it wasn't for a sudden noisy sound echoing through the heavy, of intimacy smelling, room.
you turned around in horror as you watched the door handle of the front door get pulled down, immediately alhaitham grabbed onto your shirt to drag it down your breasts, hiding your bare skin as he searched for a pillow to cover the obvious, painful erection in his pants.
"hey idiot, i'm home." the voice was sadly, very familiar, kaveh was now home.
kaveh? your brother! the one you were actually seeking out in the first place.
in a strive to look for your panties you lowered your gaze, yet being unable to spot them all over the floor when your brother walked into the living room at last.
"why is it so hot in here? oh—" his words instantly died in his throat the moment he had seen you sit next to his roommate, his eyes dramatically twitching, "what are you doing here?"
"what have you done?!" kaveh was quick to point whatever blame he could find on alhaitham, thankfully being oblivious to the fact that he rearranged your guts just a few moments ago.
"he did nothing, i promise!" you awkwardly laughed at the silence while clumsily getting up, innocently pushing your skirt down, "i was here to bring you your books and bumped into al— alhaitham!"
"no need to worry kaveh, i was only trying to make conversation." alhaitham sheepishly explained with an overly pleased smile on his face, yet not getting up, the big pillow resting on top of his pulsing crotch.
"whatever." kaveh rolled his eyes, being slightly irritated by the way you were so out of breath, deducting that alhaitham must've been a pain in the ass, overwhelming his poor, little sibling. "come on, lets get to my room."
as he went on to grab the books on the coffee table, you awkwardly ventured your gaze to alhaitham, just one last time, catching him stare at you before he playfully winked, darting his eyes away.
"lets go." kaveh was angry, cursing himself that he should've come home sooner, lightly pulling your arm so you'd follow him.
the moment alhaitham had heard the door of kaveh's bedroom close, he quickly disposed of the pillow on his lap, exposing your damp panties sticking to his pants.
you don't mind, do you?
you probably have a quite remarkable collection of underwear he has to see one day, until then, he'll give it his all to make good use of your panties ..
.. maybe even now, to fuck his stiff cock into the cloth while you're in your brother's room, without underwear, sore with your pussy still memorizing his slender, calloused fingers rubbing on your flesh.
yes, he might as well do it now.
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©2023 anantaru do not share, copy, translate any of my work
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yandere-daydreams · 5 months
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oh daydreams, please bless us with your opinion of what kind of Hybrid the JJK men would be
my takes are hot and controversial. y'all will never know how much self-restraint it took not to pull an 'oops all catboys' and actually give this list a little genome variety.
gojo satoru would be a gyrfalcon. he's an absolutely huge, constantly looming bird of prey with grey-speckled feathers and a wings so long, it only takes one to wrap around you entirely. most hybrids hybrids are at least a little stand-offish, but he's laid across your lap nearly every night, clicking happily while you preen him. if it wasn't for his wings, his piercing eyes, you'd think he was a canine-hybrid - just based on how unwilling he is to ever leave your side.
geto suguru would be a black panther. graceful, elegant, stronger than he has any right to be - ironically, the only things that don't add to his air of mystique are the rounded, twitching ears on top of his head and the sleek, black tail that's almost always brushing against your legs. he's not as clingy as gojo, but if you ask politely, he might let you comb your fingers through his hair (you're dead if you ever try to call it 'petting') as he purrs and kneads at your chest. there's a good chance you'll be left with more than a house-cat's worth of scratches after your informal grooming session, but don't worry, he'll be more than happy do run his rough tongue over your injuries and pretend he doesn't notice that his pointed teeth are just making the damage worse </3
fushiguro toji would be a grizzly bear. his coat is much darker than that of the standard bear hybrid, but once he stands to his full height and throws you over his shoulder with all the effort it would've taken to lift an empty cardboard box, your doubts are miraculously cleared away. he's got hands that can wrap around your head and a jaw that can bite through through steel and he's going to take every possible opportunity to drape himself over you and wonder allowed just how good you'd taste if he ever decided to take a bite. his bark is worse than his bite, though. scratch his adorable ears for a few seconds, and he'll be roughly five-hundred pounds of putty in your hands.
nanami kento would be a spotted jaguar. he'd prefer to be something plainer, like a panther or a cougar, but he wears his spots well. jaguars are largely solitary animals with little need for socialization or companionship, but with enough pestering, he might let you hover around him and fawn over his vibrant coat and extremely kissable pink nose. he's more reserved than most of the other hybrids on this lips, but he'll show his affection through the occasional grooming session and, if you're lucky, the occasional slab of (store bought, thankfully) meat left where he knows you'll find it. he says he prefers to be alone, and yet, he's stilled curled around you every night, purring happily and nuzzling into your neck. he's just a big softie, at heart.
sukuna would be a red fox. it's not enough for him to be a predator - he has to be the one predator known for its intelligence. he's got an ever-present kitsune's smile, his white-tipped tail constantly curling and swaying as he flaunts his strength, and he's got no shame when it comes to unabashedly proclaiming himself your superior while you comb out his thick fur for the nth time that day. he's cockier than gojo (somehow) and obsessed with the idea of proving himself as a mate (without ever admitting he'd want a worthless human as his mate, of course), which means you're going to have a very jealous, very smug fox at your side at all times, no matter how difficult that might make your daily, probably not extremely fox-centric life. try not to hold it against him, he's just trying to impress his future mate <3
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bubbles-for-all-of-us · 5 months
Text
Exile.
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a/n I cried so hard I had to write something so here we are. So,I guess I'm inviting you to come cry with me. 🫧
warning: just sadness
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The heaviest thing that weighed on Azriel's chest was that he couldn't find a turning point that changed it all. A breaking point that shattered a perfect picture. That started to pull apart the only thing he thought was unbreakable in this world.
You had been his everything ever since Rhys's mother had taken both Azriel and Cassian under her wing. He still remembered you peeking from behind your mother's dress. Big, purple eyes staring at him. As big and as scared as his. As skittish and nervous as him. You two had observed each other for weeks. Running away the moment your eyes met. Where Cassian and Rhys had been loud and obnoxious. You and Azriel had always been quiet and observant.
Then one evening, you showed up at Azriel's favorite corner of the cabin. One that he had claimed as his. Often sitting there all alone in the shadows. Legs up to his chest as he watched everyone else. And no one ever invaded that space. Until that evening, when you had rounded the corner with a bowl of freshly baked cookies and a glass of milk, you splashed some of it as you walked. Your tongue slightly poked out as you concentrated on your task. Then that bowl was on the floor, right in front of Azriel. Your chest heaved as you took short, labored breaths. For a moment, Azriel had been too stunned to even move because no one had ever brought him anything. If people came to him, it was to hurt him, not to be kind.
Like a beaten puppy, he slowly crawled out of the dark corner. His eyes never left you as you two stared each other down. His scared fingers reached for the cookies. The warmth of them settled into his palm. He felt his heart hammering against his ribcage, yet he still extended his left hand to you. Offering you one of the cookies to share. Your shaky finger followed Azriel's movements until you both stood there on the dim back side of the cabin.
Loving you after that came easy. When his mind spiraled, all Azriel needed was to see you. When he felt like he couldn't breathe, all he needed was to look at your purple eyes, which never failed to remind him of the pure irises that bloomed in late spring. He saw you everywhere and in everything. And you were his in so many ways. You had searched and put together every single broken piece of his soul. Rebuilding him into a man with your slow and gentle love.
The night when the carriage with you and your mother was attacked, Azriel thought that he was going to lay down and die alongside you. Rhys didn't ask for Azriel to come. But he didn't have to. The spymaster was driven by the force of need and fear that ran through him like venom. No matter how many interrogations and battles he had been in after that, nothing compared to the vicious slaughter he unleashed that night alongside Rhys and his father. Back then, it had been the first time Azriel had killed. But it didn't weigh on him like he thought it would. All he wanted was to bring them back so he could slaughter them once again.
You. It was you and nothing else for Azriel after that. No more whispers of secrets. No more sneaking around. No more late-night snacks on the rooftop, so no one would hear you. Azriel wanted to love you loudly. To know that there wasn't a part of you that didn't belong to him. That wasn't his. And as he spun you around in your white dress, with irises in your hair, as your laughter echoed and filled his chest, he was sure that he had found his forever.
But now here he was. On the same old balcony. On the longest night of the year, gripping the glass of whiskey in his hand. Watching as Lucien of all people spun you around. Pulling a laugh after a laugh from you. A sound Azriel hasn't heard for months. And that sound had always been his to claim; now all he got were scowls and angry head shakes.
"If looks could kill, brother..." Cassian tried to bump Azriel's shoulder gently, but the spymaster's eyes didn't leave you even for a second. "It's good to see her like that," Cassian sighed, throwing another dagger straight into Azriel's heart because the whole family had been aware that something wasn't right. After almost four hundred years together, you two had come crashing down the rocky shore. "You'll figure it out, Az. Don't beat yourself...", Cassian had started, but Azriel wasn't going to sit here like a fool. So, with a harsh slam of his glass, he pushed past Cassian without a second glance.
You're not my homeland anymore
So what am I defending now?
You were my town, now I'm in exile, seein' you out
I think I've seen this film before...
Oh, how easy it had been to love him. To do it all for him. You had built your world around his broken heart. Carefully helping him stand on his shaky feet. It was the hidden parts of Azriel that you loved the most. Azriel, who put notes in the books you were reading, so that at a certain point, with you flipping through it, you would come across a folded piece of paper that read, "Never loved anyone as much as I love you. Your smile alone leaves me defenseless, my little terror."
You had kept them all. You still had them in a wooden box at the bottom of the closet. Every letter that Azriel had even written. Every note. Every dried flower. You bathed in that soft side of him that was only for you. With him rushing home to you so you could eat your dinner together and talk. Talk for hours until a comfortable silence would fall, and you two would find yourself in bed together, cuddling against one another as you read books in silence. Or Azriel read parts of his book to you.
A lifetime with him seemed too short at one point. Until it didn't. You had an inkling that something was changing the moment your brother brought Feyre home. That same night, you had woken up, drenched in sweat. Gasping like a fish frown on shore, with Azriel grasping at your hands. "It's fading," you breathed out, clawing at your chest till you drew blood with your nails. "My love," Azriel breathed, pulling your trembling body closer, "Breath with me." But all you did was shake your head and say, "It's flickering away." You grasped at him for dear life back then. And maybe you should have held on tighter. Maybe you should have sunk your nails into him. But your mother had raised you differently, and you weren't going to settle for scraps.
You'd like to believe that you knew that she was going to take Azriel away before even they did. Because Azriel had always been a savior. A fixer. An answer to the cries of the wrong soul, and oh, did she cry... Helpless little lamb in disguise. So when Azriel started smelling of her, you didn't even hear your heartbreak. You had tried bringing it up. Tried to get him to see, but the prettiest of flowers were often poisonous.
"All I'm asking is for an evening with my mate, with my husband." Your voice bounced off the walls as yet another fight rippled through the house that always felt cold now. "We had dinner last week," Azriel said blandly, buttoning up one of your favorite shirts. "And to think we had date nights every other day," you chuckled bitterly. "We are not kids anymore, Y/N," Azriel bit back, making you glare at him even more. "Oh, so love is now for children. Good to know that you had put an expiration date on this, Azriel", you said, tossing the kitchen towel you were holding to the side, "It would have been nice if you had informed me about it."
"See, this is why I hate being here." His voice roared back, making you take a step back. You fought many times. But you were always the firecracker. The terror. Azriel's composure never let him cross a line. But this. "You and your nagging drilling," he tapped against his temple angrily. "Not everything is about you. For once, give some thought to other people's needs."You had only blinked at him then. Watched him slowly dress up before he walked out of the door with a loud bang.
"A dance?", you blinked, nearly knocking your glass over as you flinched, but the person in front of you was quick to catch the delicate glass. "Apologies; I had no intention to startle you so much; I didn't think you were that deep in your thoughts." A familiar gaze warmed your soul. "Drop the formalities, Lucien," you chuckled softly. "I will if you will come to dance with me; it's a crime to sit through Starfall," Lucien once again extended his hand to you, and with a light shake of your head, you let him pull you up.
The music was rather lively, one you would come across at the city fair during a festival. But Rhys had always liked his tunes wild when he was happy. And your brother was more than happy. "Eris is convinced that I have two left feet," Lucien muttered as his arm wrapped around your waist, "So if this ends in distress, please keep my shame with you." His words made the corners of your lips tug upward as you chuckled lightly. "I would never cause you such disgrace, emissary," Lucien simply smiled at you before twirling you around.
At first, it was a bitter dig to seek out Lucien. A venomous desire to sting Azriel with his poison. You had come back so proud that night, knowing that after a day of horse reading with Lucien, his smell would have been all over you. And it was. And Azriel had stalled the moment he stepped through the door. His eyes grew dark before he angrily undid his cloak, tossing it to the side.
"What was Lucien doing here?", his voice was low and bitter, but all it did was make you smile. "Who said he was here?", you muttered, continuing to flip through your book. You didn't need to see him to know that he was scowling at you. "Why is his scent all over you, Y/N?" You knew now that it was a desperate attempt to grasp the last bits of his love and attention for you and what you were doing was a pathetic desire to catch one more glimpse of his care. "I took your advice. Listened to others' needs", you said with a smirk. Azriel's hands were on you in an instant. Grasping your forearms as he pulled you up, your book clattered to the floor. "What fucking games are you playing?", Azriel said through gritted teeth as you pushed back against his chest, only to make his grip tighter. "You hypocritical bastard. So you can whore yourself out, and I'm just supposed to watch you!" You barked out, the magic you shared with your brother sizzling beneath your skin, roaring to explode around you if needed. "I'm helping her get settled," Azriel growled, letting go of your arms once the darkness around you two grew thicker. "On your dick is where you're settling her," you snarled. You wanted. Waited. For him to deny it. To explode with shouts about your accusations. But he simply shook his head before winnowing away. Oh, how you had ragged that night. Smashing every vase. Every frame that you could reach. Cursing him in all the languages you knew before collapsing to your knees in soul-ranching sobs.
"I've lost you once more," Lucien's soft voice brought you back. You had lost track of the time you two had been swaying. "I'm starting to believe that I'm an awful company," he chuckled under his breath. "No, no, Lucien, you couldn't be further away from that," you reassured him, letting your forehead fall to his shoulder. "Does this have something to do with your husband plotting my death the whole night?", your head instantly turned to Azriel. As if in second nature. You didn't even need to think about it. You always found him in the crowd. And sure enough, his deathly glare was pinned on you two.
It twisted your guts because there had been a time when that look would have sent you to your knees. To know that he was ready to fight for you. Ready to tear down cities. To get his knuckles bloody for you. Now it just left a bitter taste in your mouth. And it felt like a mockery at best. He had lost his claim to you months ago. "I'm sorry," you muttered, ready to apologize on Azriel's behalf, but suddenly your voice died down. Because all of these weeks it had been you, patching up that broken image of you two. Glossing over the flaws so that your family will not see anything. So that no one would need to worry. So that no one would see just how broken you had been.
A loud bang of glass hitting the table was the last straw for you. You flinched as your eyes shut. Angry tears fell on Lucien's deep green tunic. But you refused to let anyone else see you like this. "Y/n," Lucien muttered, "If this is because of my doing," but you quickly shook your head. Pleading eyes looked up at him, and for the first time, the shock on Lucien's face was enough to make a quiet sob escape past your lips. As the mask you had been wearing for weeks finally slipped. "Please," you breathed, "Help me; I can't do this anymore." Lucien's hand quickly cupped the back of your head as he pressed your trembling frame closer to his chest. You could feel his heart beating quickly beneath your ear. "I've got you. It'll be okay", he muttered quietly, looking around for anyone who had spotted the scene that had unfolded. "Come on," Lucien muttered after a moment, "Give me your hand."
It was way past the end of Starfall when Azriel walked through the front door. He was exhausted. That type of exhaustioned that seeped into your bones. That made your body ache. That made that permanent feeling of coldness linger deep within. One you couldn't chase away, no matter what. Undoing a couple of the buttons on his black shirt, Azriel stepped deeper into the house. Into a too quiet of a house.
"Y/n," Azriel's voice echoed through the living room. He knew it was way too late to be shouting like that, but this unsettling dread pulled at his chest. "Y/n," he called out once more, hoping to hear you angrily striding to yell back at him, but he heard nothing. Not a single rustle of the sheets. Not the sound of your feet tapping against the wooden floor.
Azriel was about to angrily march up the stairs himself. To beg for you to scream at him if he had to because this silence that he sat in for hours in the house of wind had him running in loopholes that were near to suffering him. But his eyes fell on something glistening on the living room table. The only thing still shining in this dim place. The spymaster took a couple of quick steps toward it. A sick and sour feeling spread through his stomach. Almost sending him backward. There was no way. There absolutely could not be a way. Azriel's hand reached for a light blue diamond ring that had been a part of his heart for so long. But there was no way because you had it on your finger tonight. He had seen it tonight. And if you weren't here, and if the ring was. Azriel swallowed thickly, cold sweat coating his hands and face. You wouldn't have just taken it off here and forgotten it, unless...
I'm not your problem anymore
So who am I offending now?
You were my crown, now I'm in exile, seein' you out
I think I've seen this film before
So I'm leaving out the side door...
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