#happy electric feel friday
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Happy electric feel Friday
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youtube
Happy Electric Feel Friday!
dance with a green alien TODAY to celebrate!!
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Happy Electric Feel Jojo Friday
#happy electric feel friday#jojo friday#jjba#JoJo's Bizarre Adventure#yes I made this in 5 minutes by dragging letters instead of just copying the font#the crust adds to the atmosphere
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I thought it was Thursday
Friday where I am timezones babey
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BABY GIRL!
TURN ME ON WITH YOUR ELECTRIC FEEL!!!
#electric dreams#electric dreams 1984#edgar electric dreams#miles electric dreams#MOLES electric dreams#madeline electric dreams#miles harding#madeline robistat#tw eyestrain#//drawing#happy electric feel friday I DID IT I WASN'T LATE
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i said ooh girl
shock me like an electric eel
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holy shit i’ve been rbing electric feel friday for over a year now
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Yandere father-in-law Jungkook/Taehyung pt.2
Pt.1 submission from @coralmusicblaze here - yandere submission (father-in-law)
Word count: 2,300 +
Genre + warnings: smut drabble, yandere father-in-law- minors DNI. Explicit language, unprotected sex, breeding, taboo, infidelity, praise kink, daddy kink, choking, spanking, size kink, yandere, father-in-law x daughter-in-law, dominance, forceful
Summary: After your infidelity with your father-in-law, you find yourself constantly thinking and dreaming about him and the night you shared together. You soon find yourself getting fucked and breeded by him all over again
Notes: pt.2 after requests. Hope you guys enjoy & thank you again to @coralmusicblaze for the first submission <3 Have a happy Friday!💕
Since the last time your father-in-law fucked you, you’ve spent the last few days thinking about your infidelity. You couldn’t stop thinking about the ways he used your body, the way he made you feel. You know it was wrong to continue to think about it but you couldn’t help yourself.
It was especially hard for you since you lived in the same house as him, and he always made it his right to tease you whenever he was around you. Brushing up against you, his bulge evident on your ass as he tried to walk by. Your husband spent most of his time away from home ever since he found out the news about his medical condition, he would stop by here and there but you rarely ever saw him.
Your father-in-law could care less however, it just meant he got to taunt and hopefully fuck you without any disruptions.
You lay there on your bed, eyes closed thinking about his hands that roamed your body making you feel like a million bolts of electricity ran through you. How he could make your body feel so hot yet you still managed to have goosebumps all over. The way he stretched you out and had you gripping onto your sheets, the same sheets you share with your husband - his son, the same sheets you lay on now.
This isn’t your first time you’ve dreamt about him. That one night you both shared haunts you, even in your dreams.
Your body’s on fire as you continue to dream and think about him, the man you shouldn’t be thinking about, the man you shouldn’t have let fuck you, your father-in-law.
It’s almost as if you can feel him right now. Your body is covered in goosebumps, they always seem to appear whenever he’s around. You can almost feel his fingers trace your thigh, running up and under your lace underwear. His lips as he kisses along your shoulder, up to your neck. His hot breath on your skin and his scent. His rich scent that makes you alert whenever he’s near you.
It’s when you feel a shift on the bed that awakens you from your sleep. Your eyes open to see the man himself hovered over you. His eyes stuck on yours as he shushes you, hand coming up to your cheek to stroke it softly.
Your eyes close, your body evaded by a tingling sensation. He’s so close. You hear his buckle and some shuffling. You know what’s coming. The little dreams and fantasies you’ve been having since that night are finally coming true again. You feel awful knowing your husband is somewhere at his lowest, but what can you do when his father makes you feel so high?
You’re already wet, you’ve been wet since you began dreaming about him. And he knows too because he chuckles and makes a comment about it which makes the blood rush up to your cheeks in embarrassment.
His tip is pressed against your entrance and you’re just anticipating the moment when he destroys you.
“Ugh fuck” he grunts. You have no time to prepare yourself when you feel his tip enter you, not even easing himself in as his whole length enters you. Every inch inside of you, his thickness stretching you, the pleasure consuming you.
His thrusts begin as he hovers over you, his chain swinging back and forth with every movement. Your hands trail down his bare back, needing to hold onto something, anything as his cock penetrates you.
He’s so big and although it feels good - really good, you can’t help but to feel a bit uncomfortable as he stretches you out completely.
“Please, please it hurts. You’re too big”
Your hands move to his waist to try and restrict his movements.
“I know it hurts baby, just take it for daddy” he slows down his pace, his hips adding more movement as he grinds against you. His cock moving in ways you’ve never felt before and all of a sudden you’ve forgotten that feeling of discomfort .
His heavy breaths and low grunts continue as he feels your tight walls around him. Your pussy is dangerous, it’s going to get him in trouble but it’s worth it. He’s so lost in you, and the taboo that is your infidelity. He wants to breed you again, and again, and again. He wants to feel the warmth that is you wrapped around him as he has his way with you. You’re so submissive, you’ll let him do whatever he wants. It’s like you’ve never experienced sex like this before and he almost wonders what the hell his son has been doing this whole time. Why he hasn’t ruined you yet, taken your submissive ways for advantage. In a way he’s kind of grateful because he knows you’ll experience that with him. He’ll make you feel all those things you’ve been missing, craving. He’ll introduce you to new things, things that he knows will have your tight walls clenching around him as you cum repeatedly.
He wonders if you’ve ever squirted…
One hand is rested beside your head, holding him up as he continues to work in and out of you. His other hand makes its way to your thighs that are shut, forcing them open as he finds your clit and begins to circle it.
He smirks. A sinister smirk that has you questioning what’s going through his mind.
If only you knew.
He watches you lay under him - chest raising, thighs fighting to close, eyes shut, and knows you’ll barely make it out alive. You’re panting, whimpering, wiggling under him. The pleasure becoming too much for you. You mumble, “I can’t, you’re too big”
“Take it”
“Please it’s too good, I think I’m gonna cum” you can feel a weird sensation you’ve never really felt before hit you almost instantly.
“Take it like a good girl. You took me so well last time baby” his thumb still rubs your clit and his hips work in an incredible way that it’s almost too intense for you to manage.
All you can think about is his thumb on your clit creating a type of pleasure you’ve never felt before. His cock inside of you working wonders, and it all happens so fast you don’t even realise what’s happening when your thighs shake and an immense feeling comes over you.
“Good job baby, let it out. You got it” He’s surprised that it didn’t take you that long to squirt.
Your legs still shake as you slowly calm down along with your moans, during the process his cock managed to slip out, but that didn’t mind him, he was happy to see everything unfold.
He slaps his dick on your wet sensitive pussy a few times, causing you to move your hips around. His tip brushing up and down against your folds causing you to moan out his name.
“Turn around for me sweetheart”
You comply, making sure your back is slightly arched for him. Your body is already tired and you know you’ve got a long night ahead of you.
“Good girl” his hand rubs your bare ass. The pros of you sleeping with no underwear.
When you look back at him to see what was taking him so long, you notice him reaching for his discarded belt and tie. He watches you looking at him, a smirk on his face at your scared expression.
“You scared?” He tilts his head watching as you shake your head no, even though you were a little bit. You’re not sure what he’s going to use them for and you’re surely nervous for it. He plays with the two objects in his hands, you nervously anticipating his next move.
His hand holds yours, fingertips playing with the palm of your hand before he runs them along your wrist. “I’m gonna tie your wrists together okay” he states more than asks.
You lay on the bed, arms behind you as you lay your head on the pillow, wrist decorated with his black tie. He pulls you up by your waist so that your ass is slightly propped up. Your pussy is soaking - from you previously squirting, but also from the thought of what he’s going to do. You clench around nothing as you feel the rich leather belt travel along your spine. It feels sensual, like feathers against your skin.
The belt runs down your spine, towards your ass. You hold your breath in anticipation as he teases you by caressing your soft skin, a sense of both excitement and danger taking over you.
He knows you’re aching for something else, something more. He wonders if you’ve ever been spanked before.
Without warning the belt comes in contact with your ass. It’s not too harsh but just enough for your pussy to tingle as the blood flow increases. Your body slightly jolts at the impact which causes him to spank you again.
“Come here” he grabs the left side of your hip to stop you. You moan, feeling your pussy ache for him, you want him, you need him.
“Please I want you” you plead. You’ve had enough of the teasing, you don’t think you can take anymore, especially the way your pussy’s throbbing.
“Hmm you want me huh?” He chuckles, loving hearing that come from out of your mouth. He hides his smirk with a swift lick to his bottom lip. You nod eagerly, lifting your ass up a bit more so he can access you better.
“As you wish”
He delivers another spank to your ass before he complies.
It’s not like you didn’t ask for him, but you didn’t expect him to give you all of him. Every inch of his fills you up again and you cling to the bed covers as you mumble words neither of you can understand. You feel him in your stomach with every stroke, and it’s when his pace increases that you’re sure he wants to ruin you.
“Ah fuck please please please”
“Shhhh, you said you wanted me right? Take it” he watches most of his dick disappear inside of you. Your pussy is unable to take him whole, but you’re still doing a good job. You always do. The way your pussy grips around his length creating the best type of friction has him in awe. You’re amazing.
And you’re a hypocrite because even though you’ve begged for him, you’re running away. You don’t even realise you’re doing it until you hear him say, “Don’t run from it” his tone firm.
Your body jolts forward again when his cock hits your spot and you cry out, you grit your teeth as another moan escapes.
“I said don’t run.” You’re sure your orgasm is approaching when he grabs you by your neck, your back against his torso. His hips work in such an amazing way, his cock hitting every spot. You’re weak, if it wasn’t for his hold on your neck you would be laid flat out on the bed.
“You’re gonna cum for daddy?” He whispers in your ear. His fingers rub against your clit again as you slightly choke to his hold on your neck.
“Huh?” He pushes for an answer and you nod repeatedly, too focused on his fingers on your clit, his cock inside of you, and his hand around your throat.
“Say it” he roughly thrusts into you causing you to choke out a whimper. “Yes daddy, I’m gonna cum for you”
“Good girl”
He can also feel his orgasm approach, but he wants you to cum first. He needs to feel you cum around him. His fingers continues circling your clit, hearing you whimper and moan out his name as your orgasm quickly approaches.
Soon enough, your body jerks and your orgasm takes over your body.
“Cum for me, well done.” He lets you collapse on the bed as you try to calm down your breathing. His hand rubs your ass in an attempt to soothe you as he waits for you to completely calm down.
Your legs shake slightly and your body shivers as your orgasm fades out. “Good job baby. Good job” he’s so amazed by you - entranced, if he could have his way with you all day he would.
“You still with me?” His body is on top of yours as you lay flat down on your stomach. You murmur a yes, still a bit dazed from your orgasm.
A small spank is delivered to your ass as he says, “I’m almost there baby. You’re doing so well”, before he inserts his cock into you again. Your breath is knocked out of you as he stretches you out again.
“You got it baby”
He’s hovered over your back, arms on either side of you as he works in you. “Please please, it’s too much” you cry out in pleasure. You’re so tired and he feels so good, you’re not sure what you want.
“Shhh, good girl” his hand strokes up and down your back. He’s almost there and he doesn’t want it to end. He wants to fuck you over and over and over again until you’re unable to move. To hear his name come out of your mouth repeatedly. He wants to do so much with you, to you.
“You gonna let me cum in you again?” You answer him with a, “yes daddy, cum in me”, which makes him bite his lip after he mutters a “fuck”.
Your moans along with the sight of your juices around his cock is enough to have him uttering your name as he releases his load in you.
You lay there completely fucked out unable to move, even if you could, your arms are still tied behind your back with his tie. He keeps his cock in you as he fills you up. Grunts and curses leave his mouth as his cock twitches. He stays there inside you for a while, allowing himself the time to calm down. He then unties you and pulls himself out of you, watching his load drop out of your tired pussy.
His hand rubs your ass, you both lock eyes as you look back at him. “You’re amazing you know that?”
#bts#smut#bts army#drabble#bts drabble#bts au fic#bts smut#bts x reader#jeon jungkook#jungkook#taehyung x y/n#taehyung x reader#taehyung x you#taehyung smut#kim taehyung#jungkook x reader#jungkook x you#jungkook drabble#taehyung drabble#yandere#yandere bts#bts yandere#taehyung yandere#jungkook yandere#father in law#jungkook smut#bts fanfic#bts fanfction#jungkook fanfic#taehyung fanfic
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heart, body, soul
cowboy like me chapter thirteen
surprise! happy friday eve. here's some cowboy to get you through it.
life has been a little tough on me lately. sorry for the terribly long wait. but the end is in sight, dear readers. tighten the stampede string on your hats. we're coming in to land.
pairing: dbf!joel x fem!reader
summary: you and joel are at an impasse. you resolve it the only way you know how
warnings: age gap (reader is 23, joel is 48), cursing, alcohol consumption, mention of dr*g use, titty appreciation, face sitting, oral (f receiving), unprotected piv, creampie, major fluff, major angst
word count: 14.4k (y’all ask. mother macfrog delivers)
series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 🧡
You sigh. “I don’t want you…with…anyone else. I want you to…only want me.”
His brows straighten. You sit in silence, staring at one another. Both daring the other to be the first to talk. But it’s his turn, and he knows it. So he swallows, and says –
“I don’t want nobody else.”
And that’s a thing. A great big, terrible thing.
It’s been a week since you last saw Joel. Blurred, tilting, pulling to-and-fro across your vision. A week since you last heard him; his low voice like the hum of an electric wire, tired acoustics drumming weakly through his chest into your heavy hand, laced through his own. Fingers draped softly across his swollen knuckles. You wonder if they’re still marked seven days later.
A week since you felt him. Felt your body lean towards him – gravity or dizziness or something stronger – as his weight dipped into the bed beside you. The way it has only a handful of times now, but enough to score it deep into your memory. Enough that you know the difference between him and anyone else, even with your eyes closed and your heart bleeding.
Enough to ensure that, for as long as you live, you’ll know and see each difference between him and every other person you ever meet. They won’t lower their head the way he does, or lift the corners of their mouth like him. Your name won’t sound the same, won’t sound as complete, coming from someone else’s mouth. Your body won’t magnetize to anyone, the way it does to him.
And that’s fine. The separation. The fact that he was a fleeting moment. The fact that it was over before you felt it leave, before you heard the door close behind it. It’s fucking fine.
Still, you let it hurt a while. Just a little while.
The gash on your calf has healed up, your hangover had subsided by Saturday evening. But your chest still feels tight, your hands are still restless. You lie awake staring at the ceiling, surrounded by the clothes you have of his; breathing in the ghost of his scent and breathing out pathetic, aching sighs. He’s all you smell, all you touch.
Except – he’s not anymore, is he? He saw to that well enough.
So you let it hurt. And you think you can just about make do with that.
“Hey, hon,” you dad gently calls, hanging on your doorframe. Your room is dark, drapes closed, the only light source the white light from your laptop.
“Hi,” you reply, with a break in your voice. Your eyes don’t lift from the screen. Jim just told Pam he’s in love with her, but she’s engaged to Roy. But she really loves Jim, she just won’t admit it. It’s cathartic, okay?
Dad steps into the room and awkwardly stuffs his hands into his jean pockets. “Awfully, uh…awfully quiet lately, hm? Everything okay?”
“Fine. Everything’s fine.”
It’s not a lie. You are fine. You’re so fine, you’re actually numb to it.
The problem is that for the last few weeks, you’ve been more than fine. The best you’ve felt in months – maybe even years. The most you’ve smiled, the hardest you’ve laughed. The warmest the blood has ever run through your veins.
And then you’re just – fine again. Back to nothing.
He shuffles between feet. Stares at the floor, where his shadow sprouts from his toes. “I was gonna head into town, grab a few things. You wanna come? Sit in the car with a book, maybe?”
“I’m good, Dad. Thanks.”
“Sure? Whatcha watchin’?”
“The Office.”
He nods. “Right, right. I, uh, I was thinkin’ of askin’ Joel and Sarah over for dinner tonight. You always have fun when they’re around. You and Sarah could spend some time together, y’know?”
Your heart nosedives straight from your chest into your stomach. The thought of seeing him again, this time crystal clear and not while under the influence of alcohol, drugs, or worse, sinks its sharp claws into your shoulders and sinks you deep underwater. His voice gets lost somewhere in the space between you. And when you finally come back up for air, back into the room, you gulp back whatever string of senseless words your empty chest initially offered up.
“Hm…” You pretend to consider the thought, then head straight for passive. “Whatever. Sure.”
Your dad’s mouth opens to respond, and you cut in again.
“I’m kinda tired,” you say, yawning. Trying to make him leave.
He’s not great at taking hints. “Kiddo, I am really worried about you. Weren’t you s’posed to be working this mornin’?”
“You ain’t gotta worry about me. I’m just a little tired, is all. Wasn’t feeling up to restocking tools and dealing hardwood to your buddies.”
It’s only the second truth you’ve told him since he set foot in your room. You never feel much like work, not Sal’s-fucking-Hardware-kinda work, anyway. But the thought of standing for seven hours with a bared-teeth grin plastered on your face, hands blistering from tearing open box after box of stock, shoulder slowly coming up in a bruise from the number of customers tapping on it…you figured Sal could do without you for one fucking day.
“You wanna look some more at other jobs?” Dad asks, and finally you look up. The blurry, luminous silhouette of Jim and Pam is strung in the dim air before him.
You shake your head. “Not right now. I have some bookmarked I can show you later.”
He takes a deep breath, unsure of which angle to come at you from next. Finally, with an air of resignation and defeat, he settles for, “You know where I am if you need me,” and closes your door as he leaves.
You’re staring intensely at the face of every character onscreen. The pixels burn into your eyes. You’re trying harder than anything to get him out of your head. It’s not working.
His hand through yours, his arms around you – warm, safe, protective; the way he smelled, sweet like whiskey, sharp like pine; the way he’d mumble, lips against your head, sweet nothings pressed into your hair; the feeling of his lips on yours, hungry for something only you knew how to give him. The look in his eyes, tender, knowing, loving.
And because he was the only other person fluent in your little secret language – a look, a nod, a tug at the corners of his mouth. His eyes settling on yours only for a nanosecond, one tiny moment in time laced with a thousand words that you translated as quickly as his glance moved across you. It all meant something. It all meant so fucking much.
All of it. You feel all of it as it sinks through your skin, through bone and into your brain. As it curls around your ribcage, holds tight around your heart. Every thought and feeling that flutters through on full display for him to read. And you’d let him, because it’s him. You trusted him. You – you might’ve even –
I mean, what the fuck, right? When the fuck did this happen?
Joel Miller. Joel fucking Miller.
Is this what you thought would happen that very first time you looked at him differently? Tidying up after pizza, leaning into you, telling you you’re nothin’ but trouble? Did he know then, that this was where you were headed?
Did you?
Your phone buzzes. You glance down at it through your tears.
Sarah: wtf is going on ???
You craft a reply as nonchalant as you can manage. Three little letters.
You: Wym?
Sarah: are u good??
You: Yeah lol. Why wouldn’t I be good
Sarah: idfk. weird. my dad’s on the phone to yours rn
That’s great. That’s just fucking great. He’s probably telling Joel right this second how miserable you are. That’s all you need.
You want to hold onto your pride, keep an air of casualness about you impermeable to even Sarah – but you desperately want to know what’s being said. What she’s listening to him say.
You: Yeah? What are they talking about?
Sarah: well now it’s just some andrew guy
Sarah: sounds like a loser
Sarah: we’re coming over for dinner tonight btw
You: Nice. See ya then
Sarah: u wanna come over here before? we can watch love island
You: I’m good. Gonna go for a nap
Sarah: you can nap here. come over!!!
You bury the phone under your pillow without replying. Sarah is like Joel in many ways, but her persistent nature is one avenue in which they drastically differ. Joel would – and has – give you space, let you mope; Sarah will probably text you all afternoon until she’s on your doorstep, takeout in one hand and a telling in the other.
So you drag your phone back out and put it on Do Not Disturb mode. She’s already sent two more texts since her last.
Sarah: seriously. would you come the fuck over. im only on episode 5 i gotta catch up
Sarah: even my dad is worried about you
Yeah. Good one, Joel. Fuckin’ asshole.
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They arrive at six on the dot, armed with pizza and a crate of beer. The doorbell rings once, you lean over a degree to glance down the hallway, and Sarah’s stepping over the threshold, her shadow of a father at her heels.
He’s rugged. Hair amok. He kinda looks a mess, sorta looks how you want him to after almost two weeks of no you. But he’s here. He’s right in front of you. And this time, the shape of him isn’t swimming across your glassy eyes.
Your heart swells with relief to see him again, only until it twinges from the wound that he caused, and it hurts all over again. You turn back in your stool to face the kitchen island, making some noncommittal noise when Sarah’s hand presses between your shoulder blades in greeting.
“Tyrique and Ella are kinda cute, but I don’t trust him. Dude’s gonna fuck her over for sure,” she mutters, shoving the box over the counter towards your dad, who accepts the beer from Joel with a pat on his arm.
He’s standing across the kitchen – Joel – as far as he can get from you. You’re sure his eyes haven’t lifted from the floor yet. But you scan him all over, from the loose collar of his shirt down to the cuffs, rolled halfway up his forearms; from the rough hair of his beard down to the soft tufts decorating the skin just below his clavicle.
You scan him all over. The body you know just as well with the flannel and jeans over it as you do without them. The body you’ve squeezed, and scratched, and bit and kissed – and the same one you’ve thrown curses and insults at as it follows you through his house.
If he looked you dead in the eye right now, you’re not sure you could look away. You’re not sure you could stop.
That is, until Sarah presses a chilled beer to your arm, startling you, and silently nods towards the dining table.
She sits on your right, opposite your dad’s seat. She resumes chittering about Love Island. Joel and your dad are still in the kitchen, stacking plates, cracking the caps off their drinks. And then he pushes off the counter, and slowly wanders over.
You watch his every move. Study him, like you’re about to be tested on it. Which foot he steps forward with – always his left – and which chair he’ll pick once he’s at the table – the one opposite you, ‘cause it faces the TV for when he and your dad watch baseball while eating.
Two for two.
He lifts the chair, pulls it back, and angles it to face Sarah’s. He places his beer gently on the mat. When he sits, he doesn’t pull in any closer. Doesn’t risk your legs crossing paths under the table. You pull your knees up, let your shins rest against the wooden ledge. Your dad takes Joel up in conversation.
“So, this Andrew. He’s the brains of the operation?”
The pizza is slowly pulled apart over the course of an excruciating hour-long meal. Sarah puts the next episode of Love Island on while you eat, points out her favorite couples and nudges you to ask your opinion on the girls’ outfits.
“Wouldn’t have gone with those heels,” she mutters, chewing, pointing with her pizza crust to some six-inch ankle-breakers.
You lean past her shoulder every now and then to pretend you’re as engaged as she is. Pretend you’re listening. Your left ear is tuned into the conversation happening across the table.
Your dad thinks Andrew Curtis is fucking hilarious. Hoots with laughter when Joel tells him about his untucked button up. Says, Oh, jeepers, when he hears about the way the guy tripped jumping down from his truck.
The storyteller doesn’t sound so lively opposite. Your dad’s slapping his thigh with laughter. Joel’s shoulders are jerking at best. You dare a glance at him, and he’s already facing your direction. He turns away before your eye reaches his chest.
Soon, the episode ends. The atmosphere dies arm in arm with your dad’s attempt at another conversation. There’s a thick silence between the four of you. You haven’t opened your mouth the entire meal, but even if you did, the tension would clamp its heavy hand over your lips, blocking any words from making their way out of your windpipe.
Sarah clears her throat, manages a tentative, “I –” and then the phone rings, piercing through the awkward mist like a bolt of lightning.
Your dad pushes himself up and trots over, grabbing the handset a little too hastily. “Hello? Oh, hi, Rita. Hi. Yeah. Yep, Joel’s – Sarah? She’s here, yep.”
Sarah’s head drops, hand gripping her glass frozen in mid-air. “Fuck,” she whispers, and Joel shoots her a look across the table.
“She’s – oh, yeah? Well, let me ask ‘er.” Your dad covers the bottom of the handset with a huge palm. “Rita has some…cross –”
“Cross stitch, yeah, I know,” Sarah says, and thuds her glass down. “I said I’d help her out with it. I bet she’s seen your damn truck across the street!” She jabs a furious finger at her dad.
Joel shrugs. “Ain’t my fault the woman has eyes.”
Your body jerks as if to laugh. You don’t catch it in time. He notices.
“She’s on her way over, Rita,” your dad continues, nervously smiling at Sarah as she pulls her jacket over her shoulder. “She’s – oh, sure, I’ll let her know. Alright, now. Bye, Rita, bye. You’ve to bring your glasses. ‘pparently the pattern’s pretty small. You even wear glasses?”
She huffs in response. “I’m gonna be there all damn night. I’ll just get you at home.”
Joel opens his mouth to protest, goes to warn her that she ain’t walkin’ home alone in the damn dark, but your dad holds his hand out.
“We’ll give you a ride home. You come back here once you’re done.”
She nods gratefully and struts off down the hallway. The door slams shut behind her.
Your dad lightly chuckles, sauntering back over to his seat. “And then there were three…” he says, sitting back down.
But the loss of Sarah only cranes the spotlight over to you. Only you. No one else to split it with. No one else to lend it to. You can feel your dad’s eyes on you, waiting for you to make a move, some song and dance for your company.
He lifts his beer to his lips. Nods to you. Makes a song and dance of his fucking own, when he says, “Guess who’s been lookin’ at grad jobs?”
Joel stares at him for a second, like he’s waiting for your dad to reveal who it is he means. Like it can’t possibly be the only she in the room. His thumbs tap around his own bottle. “Oh – yeah?” he stammers, and throws a haphazard glance in your direction. He seems to mean to address you.
You sit forward, choke out a, “Yeah, uh – it’s – well. Kinda.”
“Film?” he asks, and you hear the rest of the question in the tone of his voice. Somethin’ you like, ‘n not just your dad’s suggestion?
You nod, but he’s not looking. He’s studying the label of his beer.
“Film,” your dad confirms. “Shut me the hell up, didn’t she? Came downstairs with her laptop the other night. Where is it, kiddo – New York?”
Your breath catches. The answer cowers at the back of your mouth, terrified to show itself. You force it forward.
“LA.”
Joel’s eyebrows lift.
“I said she might be better goin’ back to school. Reapply for next year, right?” Dad looks to you, and your lips pull in an awkward smile. “…but she didn’t wanna wait around. Told you the other day – this place is like prison.”
He chuckles, but Joel isn’t laughing. He’s staring at his beer, his brows slowly lowering from arched and curious to dark and furrowed. And you want to reach for his hand, want to shoo your dad off and spill your guts to his best friend. Want to explain yourself, show him the webpages and application forms you’ve spent the last few days surfing through – want to justify yourself to him.
But so long as your father is sat here, bumbling to himself about the prices of college courses these days – none of that happens. You simply sit in a stalemate opposite one another – a million thoughts racing through your head, a million and one racing through Joel’s.
“…might change her mind, but who knows? She’s skittish, this one, she –”
Another bleating ringtone cuts what you’re sure would’ve been an endearing compliment short. You say a silent prayer of gratitude for whoever’s at the other end of the line. Your dad sighs and heaves himself up again, swiping the phone from the kitchen counter.
“Hello? Hi, hi, Richard. No, I’m not – well, it’s – sure, sure. What’s –?”
His head falls in much the same way Sarah’s did ten minutes ago. He sighs.
“Right. No, that’s quite alright. I can be there in ten. Yep. Alright. See you in a – hello?”
He drops the phone back into its cradle and runs a hand down the back of his neck, growling.
“Kelman?” Joel asks, jaw turning to his shoulder.
“You bet. Misplaced the damn keys for his site. You two alright if I head on over there ‘n lock up for ‘im?”
“He familiar with Andrew Curtis at all?” Joel quips, and then waves your dad off. “Go on. I’ll be outta your hair by the time you get back.”
In a frenzied blur, your dad’s tying his laces, grabbing his keys, tossing a jacket over his shoulders. He apologizes a total of four times to Joel, thanks him for dinner, promises he’ll pay him back next time he sees him. And then he’s jogging off to the front door, and taking every ounce of comfortability with him.
And then there were two.
You slouch back in your chair, listening through the silence as your dad’s car engine fades down the street. When the quiet humming disappears, Joel’s head turns back to face you.
You’re alone again. For the first time in a week. This is the closest you’ve felt him, even separated by the dining table and a fog of conversation that you have no idea how to begin clearing. There’s more weight to the silence between you than words could ever bear, you know that much. More to be communicated between your eyes than your tongues know the language of. But still, you can see him through it.
Like a lighthouse, shining bright and beckoning you to the shoreline. You can feel him again, as if there’s an electric pulse radiating off of him. And you feel drawn in, like you always do; feel that magnetic pull in your chest, only ever satiated by the meeting of Joel’s.
You shift in your seat. His eyes flit up. Your heart jumps, like it’s a sign he’s really still in there. And then they drop back to his lap, and your chest sews itself back together.
Your eyes start to burn with fast-forming tears. Your throat tightens, tightens, tightens, pushing them higher and higher until they pool across your waterline. Blinking doesn’t help, just drops them onto your cheeks, to be quickly swept away by the sleeve of your hoodie.
All you want is for him to look you in the eye, whisper, C’mere, baby, scoop you up and hold you in his arms forever. Fuck everything you said about the distance being good. That was when he was in his house, and you were in yours. He’s here, right now. He’s sat across from you. You’re finally on your own again. And he’s not fucking looking at you.
You let your legs down and sit up straight in your chair. It’s small, but it feels like a necessary step to silently tell him that you’re in the room with him. You’re here.
It lifts his eyes again. Not to you, but to your empty plate. Then, to the wet stain on your sleeve. You hope it stabs his heart a little.
From the shaky breath he sucks in, it seems to hurt just enough. He clears his throat. Pulls his gaze higher, higher, a little higher, until you’re eye to eye.
A wave of feeling, either burning hot or freezing cold – you can’t tell the difference – stretches across your body. It’s unnerving, and yet calming. It’s soothing on your wound, and irritating all the same. He’s looking at you. You wonder if he can see you.
You stare at one another for a few moments, drinking it all in. You can see him clear as day. You can almost see the shadows of his thoughts as they dance across the frosted-glass windows of his hazel eyes.
He blinks. Breathes in deep through his nose. And then speaks.
“LA, huh?”
You scoff. You don’t fucking mean to, but it’s the opposite of what you expected – and kind of wanted – him to say. Your whole body relaxes, though – finally relieved of the tension of the last seven days, even if only for a moment.
You feel lighter, like someone kicked the door down and this is the first gulp of clean air in your lungs. It’s small, insignificant even, but it does what it needs to.
Which is – it gives you the energy to answer back.
“It’s not a concrete plan. Yet.”
“Yet,” he repeats.
“I’m not running from you, if that’s what you’re thinking. Get your head out of your ass.”
He wants to laugh. He should’ve expected it.
“I didn’t say anythin’. I think…I think it sounds like a good plan. ‘n you’d be close by to Sarah, so.”
This conversation feels like you’ve been left alone for ten minutes with your dad’s buddy. Sanitized. Surgical. Which would’ve been what it was little over a month ago, but it’s not now. Now, it’s totally different. There’s more than just that one neat string between you.
You’ve held his hand. You’ve kissed him. You’ve touched him, in ways you’ve only ever touched a handful of people. And even then – none of those times have been anything like the way you’ve touched Joel. You’ve tasted him, you’ve felt him as he climaxes somewhere deep inside you. You’ve pulled him into your body, over and over; you’ve let him have you in ways nobody else has.
There exists a complicated, messy web of history and emotion, woven tight between you. The weight of it bears down on the surface of the dining table.
And he’s talking to you about fucking grad jobs.
“Could you just – stop fucking with me?” you ask, sincerely. You’re not angry, you’re not hurt. Not anymore.
Joel lifts his chin. Studies your face. “I’m not fucking with you.”
“Yes, you are. You’re talking to me about some job, like there’s nothing else to talk about. Like there ain’t nothin’ else we might have to discuss.”
His response is resigned. Bored, even. “What else do you wanna discuss?”
You narrow your eyes. “Oh, um, I don’t fucking know. Last week?”
Joel takes a swig of beer. You take it as reply enough.
“I don’t have any clue where you’re at, Joel. You pick me up from Frank’s, beat a dude up for me, put me to bed, ‘n then when I wake up, you’re gone. Oh, but you left your fuckin’ shirt. By accident? Or for me? Who the fuck am I to know?”
He holds back a smile. “I had work.”
“Right,” you nod, “Andrew Curtis.”
“That guy’s an idiot. You’d probably like ‘im.”
“I bet. I’m fond of idiots, apparently.”
This time, he can’t hold it back. A smirk spreads across his lips, soft and shy, but there. Right there. You could reach out and fucking touch it.
And then he nods. Leans back in his chair, folds his arms, and nods. The smile begins to fade.
With it, goes the breathing space between you. The fog starts to thicken again. The web tightens some more. Your chest begins to ache. Things feel normal for all of two minutes, and then they’re back to awkward air so heavy that you can feel it on your shoulders, feel it forcing you into a slump in your chair.
This whole thing is built on lies. Lies on top of lies on top of lies. The only truth there has ever been has been between the two of you. Two lonely figures, wrapped in each other’s arms in the eye of a storm. So –
Fuck it.
You sniff. “I thought – that the most we were risking was my dad. I thought the worst that could happen was him findin’ out.”
Your voice is quiet. Unsure of itself. One word carrying you to the next, not totally sure where you’re going with it.
“I didn’t know I was risking losing you, too, and now…now, you’re just gone. Like, you don’t wanna talk to me, you barely wanna look at me. I don’t…I don’t have you anymore, and it’s all fucked up. Do you know, I – I wouldn’ta done any of it if I thought you’d go?”
Joel flinches. Tightens the hold on his arms.
“I want you to come back,” you say, stronger this time. Louder. Clearer. You’re ignoring the tears sweeping across your vision. “Just come back. You don’t even – you don’t even have to touch me or nothin’. We can just hang out and talk, we don’t have to…we don’t have to do anything.”
Your voice wobbles by the end. Your lips tighten around it, shutting it off before you can say anything more to embarrass yourself.
Joel’s still quiet. He watches wordlessly as you stand, pile the plates atop one another and make for the kitchen. As you place them gently into the sink, you feel the weight of him behind you, reaching over to set the bottles alongside them.
“I ain’t gone anywhere,” he murmurs, and you twist to face him.
“Joel. This is the most we’ve touched in two weeks. Putting dishes in the sink.”
He repeats himself. Adds, “I’m still here. I still care about you.”
You shrug. “Then – show me.”
He steps back. “Show you,” he scoffs. Your expression doesn’t shift. “Show you? Like I didn’t just almost break my damn knuckles defendin’ you? Take you home in the dead a’ night, deal with all your drunk bickerin’?”
Your head tilts. He’s right. But you want more than that. More than spitting threats and leaving flannels behind. You want his hands, and his lips, and his voice. You want –
“…Lord, mighty me.”
Your dad’s voice follows the sudden jolt of the front door opening. You and Joel are already five feet apart by the time his body appears around the corner, one hand leaning on the wall, the other pinching the bridge of his nose.
“How on Earth that man has his own construction company, I have no idea. Called me halfway to the site ‘n said he found the keys in his damn pocket.”
“Always the scatterbrains,” Joel says, leaning casually against the counter.
“Sure is. You ‘n me oughta start our own, show ‘em all how it’s done. Anyways. What’d I miss?”
Before you can answer, Joel’s speaking again. He sounds in a hurry. “Just tidyin’ up. We were talkin’ about graduate programs, actually. You know what,” he turns to you, “I’m sure Sarah has some old brochures from UCLA. Might have some stuff worth checkin’ out. You wanna come get ‘em?”
It takes a second for you to realize he’s talking to you. His eyebrows are arched, his thumb pointing over his shoulder. He came up with the lie so damn quick, you have whiplash.
“I – yeah, sure. Yeah.”
Your dad runs his tongue between his teeth. “UCLA. Huh. Well, don’t keep Joel too late.”
“I w…I won’t,” you reply, following at the heels of the swaggering figure towards the door. You dodge his eye contact and dip your head behind Joel’s shoulder, thankful for his protective stance in front of you.
Your dad doesn’t say anything more – instead, he stands back and lets Joel lead you out. You steal a glance back at him as you slip through the door. His face unreadable, his eyes stick on Joel; locked tight on the flannel wandering down the driveway ahead of you. The word loops in your head as though the phone’s ringing again. Guilty guilty guilty guilty guilt–
But then the night breeze is dancing across your cheeks, and you’re following at the heels of Joel again, and you feel light as air in the wake of him. You climb into the passenger side of the truck and watch as he settles alongside you with a sigh. He pulls out of the drive, and his right hand sits idly on his thigh. You think to take it. Joel reads your mind.
He sits it on the armrest between you, palm facing up. You stare straight ahead and let your fingers slip through his. He knots your bodies together, thumb rubbing gently on your knuckle.
Another pound of weight lifts from your shoulders.
----------
Joel drives for twenty minutes before pulling up in an empty parking lot across from a church. It’s pitch-black and deserted. There’s a single streetlight over by the corner, illuminating a trashcan and not much else. You’re shrouded in darkness, save for the soft glow from the lights on the dash.
He switches the engine off and sits back in his seat. Your hands are separated. The distance between you slowly starts to grow again.
“LA,” he says, for the second time tonight, staring at the ceiling of the cabin.
“LA,” you echo, staring at him.
He looks down to you. Smiles. There’s something behind it. You can’t tell what.
“It’s not a grad job,��� you say, forcing something up. Your fingers are twisting around the drawstring of your hoodie. “I was lookin’ at grad stuff, but there wasn’t anything I was into. The LA thing is a six-month temp job I saw.”
Joel nods. “What’s that look like?”
“Production assistant. Lots of behind-the-scenes stuff.”
“Mhm. Sounds like your thing.”
Your brows jump as you pull the tie around your finger. The tip turns white. “Might be. Job ad closes on Monday.”
He sucks in a breath. “Better get applyin’, then.”
Your head cocks. “So eager for me to go?”
“Eager for you to do somethin’ you love,” he corrects.
“But it would get me outta your hair.”
“I don’t want you outta my hair.”
A smirk sneaks its way across your lips. You nod to the view from the windshield. “Why are we way the hell out here?”
“Because your dad bombed our conversation, ‘n I figured we weren’t done.”
“Then talk.”
He licks his lips. Folds his arms, settles deeper into his seat. He turns a little more to face you. The single light from outside catches in his iris, like that same lighthouse beacon you could see earlier. Distant, far off, but there. Still there.
“I owe you an apology,” he says. “I…I thought what we were doin’…What I was doin’…I thought I was causing you more hurt ‘n harm than good. I was scared it’d gone too far. Scared it wasn’t okay anymore.”
“Was it ever okay?”
He shifts again, uncomfortably. In the dim light, you see his face pull. He squints, wobbles his head in consideration. “No. It wasn’t. But we did it anyways, you ‘n me. We made that decision together.”
“Right. And then you went and made the complete opposite decision, alone.”
He’s nodding. He knows. And you think you know, too. It fucking sucked, losing him – but you get it. What was the big plan? How far were you going to let it go? Someone had to pull the plug at some point. Someone had to cut the thing loose.
You lean closer to him. “I just…I wish you’d let me fight back a little. Wish you’d heard me out more. I know what we’ve done isn’t right. I know that. But I – I fucking –”
You sigh. It leaves your mouth shaky and unsure of itself.
There’s something more. Something at the back of your tongue, itching to separate into the dense space between you. Bigger. Stronger. Heavier.
“I missed you,” you concede, shaking your head. “That’s all.”
Joel’s eyes fall shut with a wince when you say it, like it physically hurts to hear the words come out of your mouth. But he’s clearer, now – the fog is slowly shrinking away. The words behind his eyes seem to light them in a warm glow. Missed you too, baby.
His hand opens up on the armrest again. Yours falls into it instantly.
He clears his throat then, and says, “Also owe you an apology for – for the Lois thing. I know I should’ve explained a lot sooner, ‘n I’m sorry I had you thinkin’ what you were thinkin’. I didn’t – I didn’t know it was such a big deal to you. Thought you’d know I wouldn’t…do that.”
“I think I did,” you tell him. Your nails run up and down his fingers. “Deep down. Wasn’t so much about her as it was about me.”
“About you?”
You shrug. “Yeah. Me, us, this. It was more of a, Why wouldn’t he want someone like her?, y’know? No lying, no secrets. And she’s old, like you.”
“Easy.”
You smile. “She’s nice. I know she is. My dad went on for five whole minutes about how good you’d be together when I asked ‘im. So – why wouldn’t you wanna be with her, right?”
It’s rhetorical. Joel knows. But he answers it anyways.
“She is nice,” he agrees, “but I ain’t interested. To tell you the truth, darlin’, I was a little preoccupied worrying my ass off about you to even look twice at the woman.”
You freeze for a second. Stare at the outline of his jaw, the jagged bristles of his beard; the soft sweep of hair silhouetted by the moonlight outside. He’s still Joel – even in the darkness, even in the fog. Even when you can’t see, hear, or touch him – he’s still there. Thinking about you. Worrying about you.
“Well,” you sniff, “you don’t gotta worry anymore. I just…I didn’t like the thought of it.”
His head tilts. Beckons you to continue.
You sigh. “I don’t want you…with…anyone else. I want you to…only want me.”
His brows straighten. You sit in silence, staring at one another. Both daring the other to be the first to talk. But it’s his turn, and he knows it. So he swallows, and says –
“I don’t want nobody else.”
And that’s a thing. A great big, terrible thing.
“But,” he continues, almost immediately, “this has gotta be – I’ve gotta do right by you. Gotta be honest, now –”
“Wait,” you interrupt, “can you just – stop acting like it’s all you?”
Joel falls quiet. His brows knit together.
“Stop saying things that make it sound like you’re the only one in this. I’m in it, too. I want it. I want you.”
“Baby, it’s not as simple as –”
“Joel,” you take his arms and pull yourself closer to him, legs propped against the center console, “I want you. This. I want us. All of it, I want all –”
Your body is being tugged closer to him, lifted nearer, and his chin bumps against yours, and his eyelashes almost brush against yours when your foreheads link, and his breath sweeps hot and needy across yours, and he – he kisses you.
You stop breathing. You don’t care whether or not it ever comes back. Oxygen replaced by him. Everything replaced by him.
His tongue slips past your lips, his hand glides across your hair to cup the back of your head. He locks you into his body, lets you rest your arms across his shoulders. Your lips find a rhythm against one another; warm, wet, tender.
His free hand cups your cheek, holds your mouth to his just a second longer, before he pulls away, and gives you one last kiss. Softest of them all. Seals the fucking deal.
“We okay?” he mumbles, and you lift your head from his palm. You sit frozen for a second, just looking at him. Looking and looking and looking.
“We’re good.”
He smiles then. A genuine smile. “I thought,” he whispers, glancing around the quiet parking lot, “I could take you on a date.”
So that’s why he brought you out here.
“A date?”
“Mhm. Never been on one, have we?”
“Never could.”
He nods in agreement. “Just ice cream. For now. Thought I’d show you some of my moves.”
“You got moves?” you snicker.
“I’m a catch, darlin’. The ladies swoon for me.”
“Alright, never say that to me again.”
Joel laughs. “There’s a place right around the corner. ‘s go.”
He climbs out of the truck and wanders off towards the sidewalk, and you follow. He looks down at you as you walk. His cheeks swell with the smile on his face, dimples at the edges of his lips.
It’s quiet; quieter than you’d expect, not that you’re complaining. With the sun almost set, you’re doused in light only when you wander under a streetlight. So, it’s no surprise when Joel’s eyes quickly scan the street up ahead, and his hand reaches down for yours.
Your stomach flips. You’re doing everything you can not to let him feel your pulse in your wrist, but you’re pretty sure you can, because he leans his shoulder against yours and asks if you’re okay.
“Good,” you choke out, relieved to have just passed a streetlight that might give away the blush on your cheeks.
Approaching on the right is a sickly-sweet, pastel-painted store front; fairy lights decorating the window, wireframe tables and chairs dotted outside. A bell dings when Joel pushes the door open, holding it open for you to step inside.
It’s…dainty. Sweet. Everything is either teal or pink or white. There’s a giant ice cream cone stood in the corner. There’s a gumball machine opposite it. The lighting is a little garish – kind of reminds you of sitting in the dentist chair, eyes squinting up at the bright white light overhead.
You’re fucking surprised to be stood in here with Joel Miller, of all people. He sticks out like a sore thumb; his worn jeans and crumpled flannel against the minty gleam of the parlor like an earthy tree sprouting in the middle of that same dentist’s office. It makes you giggle, as he leads you over to the counter.
A boy with a teal uniform meets him over a glass case full of different ice cream flavors. His name badge reads Ben. “What can I get you?” he asks, scoop in hand. Your lips press against one another to stop your laugh from escaping.
Joel turns to look at you. He nudges you with his elbow when you don’t return his glance, too focused on Ben’s pink baseball cap, the logo of the shop printed on top.
“Uh,” you consider, glancing down, “I’m good with any.”
Joel sighs, lips thinning. “Am I gonna pick a flavor, ‘n then you decide you don’t like it?”
“Nope. Promise.” You smile innocently, and he turns back to the server.
“I’ll take one scoop of the cookie dough, and, uh…one of the coffee, please.”
When Ben dips to scoop the order into two little tubs, you mock gasp at Joel.
“What?”
“Coffee?”
He shrugs.
“I took you for a vanilla man.”
Ben stands straight and punches some numbers into the cash register. Joel hands him a ten.
“What about me makes you think I’m into vanilla?” he asks in a low voice.
You bat your eyelashes at him. A dark thought crosses your mind, but you think better of voicing it and save Ben the embarrassment of potentially hearing you.
Joel thanks him and takes both tubs in one hand. You make for a booth by the window, but his hand quickly slinks around your waist, diverting you back to the door.
“Nuh-uh.”
“What?” you ask, spinning around.
Joel continues walking, backing you out of the shop. “I am not sittin’ in here. Got a fuckin’ headache already from five minutes in the place.”
“But it’s so cute,” you protest, giggling. “You don’t want your picture taken with the giant cone?”
“Get the hell out,” he mumbles, shoving you across the tiled floor back out to the sidewalk. He can’t mask his own grin, spilling out behind you, taking your hand in his.
You snort as he drags you back along the street. “Maybe I should forget about LA and get a job in there. Drive myself insane.”
“Maybe you should,” Joel agrees. “Least then you’d have an excuse for it.”
You slap his chest. “Where are we goin’?”
“’s just go back to the truck. Quieter. Less fluorescent lights.”
He unlocks it a few paces away, but you stroll past your door.
“What are you doin’?” Joel asks when you pull yourself up into the bed.
“C’mon,” you call back, settling against the back window, “it’s a nice night. Who are we hiding from?”
He tosses it over in his head and cocks one eyebrow. Fair enough. He climbs up and passes you the ice cream, shrugging his shirt from his shoulders. He throws it over your bare legs and sits down beside you, grunting as he does.
You smirk when he rests back.
“I’m almost fifty, darlin’,” he warns, reaching for his tub.
Your lips curve and you nod, digging the little plastic spoon into your dessert. You stretch your legs out and cross your ankles, watching in quiet contentment as the cars roll by, squealing to a halt at the traffic lights. Lights are coming on in windows, curtains are being drawn. Joel’s legs lie against yours, joined at the hip, shoulders brushing off one another.
This is the most peace you’ve had in a fortnight. Sat in the back of his truck, no eyes on you, watching the comings and goings of some back street in the city. You talk about nothing, for the first time in what’s felt like forever. You talk about films, and music, and all the stuff that seemed so unimportant before. Now, it all feels imperative. Feels like a life-or-death thing. What’s your favorite movie? You know my favorite movie, baby. But tell me again. Just so I know for sure. Just so that – if anything happens.
You listen when he answers. You watch his mouth as he says the words. For all the times you took it for granted before. For all the times you thought it was insignificant. It’s all significant, now. It all means something. It’s just more strings to the web between you, each one knotting you closer and closer together.
And you talk about what you’ve missed. The two weeks you’ve spent apart. You catch him up as if he was only gone on vacation. As if he was always meant to come back in the end.
“The guy with the weed – same guy you punched – he was –” gulp, “– what was his name again? Knicks? No –”
Joel snorts, spoon scraping around the edge the tiny pot in his huge hand. “Knicks?”
You close your eyes, waving your hand like it’ll urge him to remember the name of a guy he took no time getting to know before he floored him. “No, it wasn’t Kn…Knox! It was Knox, and he –”
“Kind of a fuckin’ name is Knox? Knox?”
“Are you gonna let me talk, or what?” you quip, and Joel brings his wrist up to his mouth to mask his laugh.
“Sorry, sorry, sweetheart. Go ahead. Knox had the weed.”
“Knox had the weed, and…he…Fuck, I can’t even remember where I was goin’ with that.” You shake your head and lean it back against the windowpane.
He laughs. For real. A Joel laugh. His shoulders jerk with the force of it. “You were gonna tell me about his friends, I think. Somethin’ about his friends.”
It sparks back up in your brain – the memory. “Right! Right. His friends – that dude with the glasses? That was Zack.”
Joel stares at you blankly, tongue in his cheek. “Zack?”
“Big guy, red face. Buck teeth. From Costco?”
His jaw slackens. He remembers. “I fuckin’ – I knew I’d seen that kid’s face before. That was him?”
You nod. Uhuh.
“Damn.” He chuckles. “He looked at me like I was a wild bear.”
You toss your head, roll your eyes. “Well.”
He laughs again. Knocks your legs with his own.
“Good call, by the way,” your lips mumble around the shape of your spoon, “cookie dough. it’s nice.”
“Wanna try mine?”
“Really?” Your face contorts, eyes screwing. “Coffee?”
“’s good. Here.”
He holds out a spoonful.
“Yeah, nice to you, who drinks, like, thirty of ‘em a day.”
Joel responds by pushing the spoon to your lips and you oblige, opening up and letting him feed you the ice cream.
It’s not bad. It’s ice cream, it can’t be bad. But it definitely isn’t good, and the way your lips purse and your neck jerks lets Joel know exactly how you feel about it. He scoffs, wiping a little from your lips with his thumb and sucking it clean.
“You don’t like it?”
“Why is it…bitter? Eugh.”
He laughs to himself as he loads up another spoonful. “It’s an acquired taste.”
“Well, I am not interested in acquirin’ it. You want some of the cookie dough?”
He shakes his head. “You enjoy.”
You both turn back to the street ahead. Joel’s arm is warm at the side of yours, his shoulder right there for you to lean your head on.
He places a kiss to your head when you do.
“What do you think he’d do if he found out?”
You’re not sure where it comes from. Neither is Joel, apparently, from the way he clears his throat and squirms ever so slightly. He knows exactly who you mean.
“I, uh…I don’t like to imagine.”
“It scare you?”
He takes a deep breath. “Naw. I just got better things to do with my imagination, is all.” He prods your arm with his. Picturin’ you.
“Ha. You reckon he’d kill you?”
“Probably.”
“He couldn’t kill you. Wild bear.”
“Well, I reckon he might try.”
“I think he’d call the cops.”
Joel’s head lifts from yours and falls back against the truck with a laugh.
“Help, Officer,” you mimic your dad’s twang,“my grown adult daughter is sleeping with someone!”
Joel’s shoulders slowly stop moving.
“Is that all we’re doin’?” he asks.
“Huh?” You lift your head and look at him. His dark eyes reflect the city lights in the distance.
“Is that all we’re doin’? Sleepin’ together?” His voice is gentle, honest. Genuinely asking, seeking out what you think.
You consider it, tryna sound casual. You know what he’s getting at.
“That’s all we’ve been doin’. Help, Officer, my daughter’s grabbing ice cream with someone? Better?”
He hums. Looks down at the empty tub in his hands. Looks back up to your lips. Draws nearer to you, holds your chin with one finger, looks you dead in the eye, and whispers,
“How about, Help, Officer, my daughter made someone fall in love with her?”
Your breath catches. Your hands fall limp into your lap. You blink away tears.
“You – No, that’s – You gotta say it. You gotta actually tell me, ‘cause I’m not – I don’t wanna misinterpret – We haven’t –”
You’re buffering. Your brain malfunctioning. Your tongue can’t decide which of the words at the back of your throat, all desperate to escape, to let through first.
Joel’s just smiling, watching you stutter and stammer your way through a sentence that leads you nowhere, desperately trying to compute what he’s just said because he’s finally fucking admitted it. He’s finally letting you know, giving you access to a part of him he’s been keeping from you for who knows how long.
Even though all this time it’s been the one thought running through your head that hasn’t passed your lips, it reverberates around your ears like it’s the last thing you ever expected him to say.
Joel’s hand moves to your neck, just below your ear. “Baby,” his thumb rubs your skin, “you know I love you.”
A gasp flees from your lips. Your ice cream is thrown to the truck bed, probably spilling over, and you don’t care. You leap into his lap, arms around his neck, and kiss him all over.
Joel’s laughing, returning what kisses he can, squeezing you with his big hands.
“I love you,” he says again when you come up for air, and it’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever heard in your life. You sit your forehead against his, whispering breathlessly,
“Fuck, I love you, too.”
You two stare at each other, eyes scanning every part of the other’s face, mapping every mark, line, scar, like it’s the first time you’ve ever seen each other.
Guess it is, right?
This is the first time you’re looking at the man you love and you’re not afraid of it. The first time your chest swells and you don’t gulp it back, the first time you let him feel your heart pounding against the wall of your chest.
It’s the first time you look into his eyes, dark eyelashes and fine lines decorating deep warm brown, and think those three words…and know you can say them. Know neither of you will be spooked, neither of you will try to push them back down where they came from.
I love you. That’s all there is between you now. Your cards are flat on the table, Joel’s, too. Game over. You know everything there is to know about each other. You know each other.
You’ve sunk down his body, turned so your back curves into his chest, his chin resting on your head. Safely encased in his body, sat between his thighs. His hand runs up and down your thigh, lighting drawing lines and circles and writing words you don’t care to guess, ‘cause you probably already know ‘em.
Love hums between the two of you, keeping you warm; your bodies pressed together, hearts beating just inches apart. You blink your eyes open and the single streetlight sails back into your vision – bright as the moon, stirring you from your tranquil bliss.
“Do you,” you turn, and Joel fixes your hair, presses his lips to your forehead, “do you tell all the girls that on the first date? Was that just one of your moves?”
He snorts, and answers by pulling you in to give you a tender kiss.
No. Just you.
“You ready to go?” he asks when your lips part.
“Mhm. Take me home, cowboy.”
----------
His house is dark against the dusky sky. The headlights illuminate the garage door as he pulls up in the drive, squeezing your hand once as the truck comes to a halt.
“And then…” Joel says, holding a finger up to you. Wait right here.
He gets out of the driver’s side and you watch the shadow of him jog around the truck, stopping at your door. He opens it, and holds a hand out for you to take.
You choke on a laugh. “That is…”
“That is what?”
“…so cheesy. You really do that?”
“Uhuh. C’mon.”
Your fingers lace through his and you hop out of the truck. Joel shuts the door behind you and extends his elbow, and you link your arm through his. His hand warmly rests on top of yours.
You both wander over to his porch where he stops, letting you walk up the steps alone. When you reach the top one, only just taller than him on the path, hands still interlinked, you look down.
“Then I say, Thank you for a lovely evenin’, and,” he lifts your hand, pressing his lips to your knuckles, “then…” Joel holds his arms out. Voila. Just like that.
“Wow. I feel…honored.”
“You should.”
“Not even a proper kiss?”
“I just kissed your hand, baby. You didn’t like that?”
“You don’t ask to come inside?”
He scoffs. “Nope. What would I want to come inside for?”
You grin. Shrug your shoulders. Start walking backward to his door.
“Well, I am exhausted after our date, Mr. Miller. I do think,” yawn, “I should be gettin’ ready for bed.”
Joel lowers his head, eyes trained on you, smirk growing on his lips. “Is that so?”
You nod.
He starts to climb the steps.
“I’m sure I’ll be expectin’ a call from you,” you mewl, exaggerated Southern accent crooning to him. Your back bumps against the front door. Joel’s on the porch now. You bite your lip.
“Oh, I’m sure you will,” he returns, his shadow creeping over you. He reaches your body and his arms come to rest on the frame right above your head.
You hook your hands around his shoulders.
“You really don’t wanna come in?” you whisper, and his jaw ticks.
“I wouldn’t want to be ungentlemanly.”
Leaning in, lips against his ear, you whisper soft enough to shake the breath as it falls from his lips.
“And what if I asked you, nicely, to take me inside and fuck me good ‘n hard until I can’t walk?”
Joel’s eyes pool black when you lean away, head resting back on his door. Your gaze is heavy with lust, eyelashes batting slowly.
“Hm,” he grumbles, body beginning to press against yours. His head cocks. “You don’t wanna be treated like a lady?”
“Nope.” You smirk, hand falling down to cup the bulge quickly forming below his belt.
“Want to be treated like a fuckin’ whore, do ya?”
Chest heaving, you nod, massaging him.
“So dirty, darlin’, feelin’ your date up on the porch,” he tells you, dipping his jaw to run his lips along your neck. “What ‘m I gonna do with you?”
You shrug again, and your fingers find the door handle at your hip. You push, and the wood behind you falls inward.
As you plunge into the dark house, Joel’s rough hands clamp down on your waist, taking you in his tight grip and throwing you against the wall. His lips find your neck, teeth scraping the sensitive skin, tongue caressing tenderly as he sucks a bruise into you. Heat spreads across your core. You clench your thighs around the feeling.
“Joel,” you whine, hands surfing through his hair. “Fuck, take me upstairs.”
He hums. He’s going to. He’s just not doing it quick enough.
You lift your leg to his hip, and his left hand scoops under your ass. He pulls your center flat against the swelling in his jeans, ruts slowly against your body. You hear a deep groan from his throat.
“Upstairs,” you say again, growing impatient, and he growls, taking you with both hands and lifting you two steps at a time towards his bedroom.
He kicks the door open, loosening his grip on you as he walks over to the bed. Light streams across the room in splinters, peering through the shades from the streetlights outside. Your legs drop and you dance along on your toes, turning him midway until his calves hit the bottom of his mattress.
Your lips part for mere seconds, allowing one reflected expression between you, before you’re pushing him by the chest onto the bed. His body springs when he hits the sheets, staring back up at yours between his legs. His breath courses from his mouth, thick with want and need.
You lay him flat on the mattress, knees either side of his waist, hands curved over his shoulders. His own find your waist, holding on tight as you straddle him, playing with the tie of your shorts when you settle.
You dip your head and brush your lips against his. One long, sweet kiss, and his hands are at the hem of your hoodie, pulling it free, lifting it over your head. You groan as it separates your bodies, let your tongue find his again as quickly as it was pulled apart from it.
“Let me see,” he whispers against your lips, hands slipping beneath the fabric of your shorts to rub circles into your hipbones.
You smile as you straighten, fingers dancing along the hem of your tee.
“Let me – see,” Joel grunts, when your core grinds into his.
You peel the tight fabric from your stomach, higher, higher, until it lifts your breasts, catching on the curve of them, and as you whip it over your head, they bounce back down. Joel groans from below, staring at the perfect peaked shape. He lifts one hand to cup your tit, runs his thumb over the quickly-hardening nipple.
“So fuckin’ pretty, baby.”
“I know,” you tell him, watching as his thumbpad circles the delicate skin. Your back arches into his touch.
And then his hands sink into the mattress either side of his body, pushing himself closer to you. He wraps a strong arm around your back and pulls your chest to his mouth, lips pressing wet kisses to the valley between your breasts. His teeth graze across the round shape up towards your nipple again.
His tongue slips over the hard bud, swirling and soaking all over it. Your head falls back, fingers grip onto his hair. Your mouth falls open, but no sound comes. Joel sucks harder.
“S– fuck,” you whisper, nearly voiceless. His tongue is flicking now, lips pulling more of your body into his mouth. “Fuckfuckfuck, I need you, I need you,” you whimper.
He releases your sweet skin, lips shining with saliva. “Tell me where.”
You writhe on top of him, hands pushing your shorts down over your hips. “You know where.”
Joel holds your body steady. “Tell me.”
You whine, trying to rock against him. He doesn’t let up. “Joel, fuck. Betw– between my – fuck.”
“Between your legs?” he taunts, pushing you harder against the hard folds of denim below his belt. “That where you need me? Between those pretty legs, babygirl?”
Your fists ball around the fabric of his shirt, clinging on to him. “Ye-ah,” you whimper, and his weight falls from your grasp.
You feel your shorts tug over the crests of bone by your hips. “Step out of ‘em, baby,” he instructs, and your knee lifts.
He pulls the cotton down one leg at a time, telling you to shift your weight as he curls a finger around the lace of your panties and tugs them down after. Before you can think about it, you’re naked, soaked cunt making a mess over the crotch of his jeans.
He looks up at you expectantly.
“What–?”
He flicks his fingers in a beckoning motion, a Come here, either side of your thighs. You hesitate.
“Darlin’. Up.”
“Joel.”
“Up.”
You take his open hands and shuffle up the mattress, knees pushing into the soft sheets either side of his head. You glance down at him.
“I don’t know –”
“’m not gonna tell you again.”
And he doesn’t have to. You steady yourself, locking your fingers through his behind your ass, and slowly lower yourself down to him. His jaw lifts to meet you, and you think about pausing again, telling him he doesn’t have to do this, asking instead to do something else, something he’ll enjoy as much, something you can both –
But then his lips open around the sweetest part of your body, and your lungs freeze. His tongue slips between, daring where you need him most, and your body sighs in equal parts relief and pleasure.
You’re so fucking wet. You can feel it, leaking onto his lips, spreading around your own as he kisses you, licks you, takes in every drop of you. Your back curls, lips fall open to the ceiling, breath comes in short wisps.
It’s been almost two weeks since the two of you felt like this. Hot, wet, needy. Two weeks of waiting for the other to come back, two weeks of reaching for the phone and deciding against it once the number’s dialed, two weeks of nothing.
And now – everything. Everywhere. Every part of your body ignited for him. You feel him fucking everywhere.
You lean all of your weight onto the palm of your hands, pushing all of it into Joel’s. He’s steady, strong, letting you rock and swirl your hips as he laps at your core.
“Right there,” you whisper, head rolling back. “Keep – keep – oh, fuck, Joel. What the f–?”
He slowly lowers his hands, letting you untangle your fingers and place them on the bed. His own come to hook around your thighs, clamping you as close against him as you can possibly be.
Two weeks of nothing. And now, five minutes of everything. The shards of light from outside blur across your vision; heat starts to prickle up your spine, tickling the back of your neck. You’re smiling, filthy and desperate.
“I’m gonna –” you breathe, and Joel hums. “’m gonna c– come.”
You can hear his response, though he doesn’t say a word. Then, come.
Your hips motion forward. Tighten. Clamp. Inhale. Joel’s tongue slips between your folds, warm on the inside of your cunt. And you rock back. Unwind. Unfurl. Exhale. His bottom lip puckers against your clit.
“J-oel. Joel, I’m – you’re – fuck.”
He moans against your sex. His hips shift behind you. Buck upwards, carefully.
Tighten. Clamp. Inhale. Tighten – inhale. Unwind. Unf-url. Ex-hale. Tighten. Inh– clamp. Fuck. I’m there. Unwind. Warm. Wet. Tongue. Exhale. Tongue. Tighten. Clamp. Inhale. Joel –
Your fingers curl around his bedsheets, nails dig into the cotton. Your orgasm sends a flood of hot pleasure across your cunt, rains down over Joel’s lips, and sets fireworks off through your body which explode into the dark room in the form of a throaty moan.
You’re not sure when you come to. You’re not sure your arms can bear the weight of your body. But when your eyes blink open, he’s kissing the inside of your thighs.
His mouth is glistening. Moustache and beard covered in you. Soft lips pearlescent with your spend. Your body feels heavy, unbearable. You lift your leg and tumble onto the mattress by his side, pussy throbbing when you land.
“I love you,” you whisper, and not for any particular reason. Not because of what he just did. Not because you’re naked in his bed.
But maybe because it feels like this is what you were made to do. To love and to be loved – by him. It feels like this entire thing has been, from its genesis, an exchange. An understanding. Immediate and certain. Here are all the parts of me. You know what to do.
As if there needed no further explanation. No instruction, no tutorial. You just knew.
He pushes himself up, leans over your frame. His jaw lowers, and he licks into your mouth tenderly.
“Gotta be inside you, baby,” he says, and at the same time, your fingers find the buttons of his shirt. “Gotta feel you again.”
You nod against him. Fuck me fuck me fuck me.
Joel’s hands are on his belt, pulling it through the loops, dropping it to the floor. Your help him tug his jeans off when he undoes the button. The material of his underwear rubs against your sex; your creamy arousal smears all over the black fabric. You can feel the weight of his stiff cock beneath. It dizzies your head.
He lets your fingers sneak below the elastic, lowering it until he springs free, slapping against the bottom of his tummy. You could fucking drool at the sight of him – the pink tip, beaded with precum; the thick vein on the underside of the shaft; his balls below it, heavy and waiting. Your hands wrap around him and pump slowly as he drags his boxers down, kicking them off at the foot of the bed.
He groans, hips thrusting gently into your palms as you squeeze him. Your fingers slip between your folds, collecting your own slick, coating him in it as you fist him.
“So good, babygirl,” Joel breathes, leaning down to kiss you. “You gonna take it all?”
“Mhm,” you reply, tongue slipping against his.
“Yeah,” he says, “my girl can take it.”
You let his hand shadow over yours, the two of you guiding his cock towards your entrance together. It glides between your dripping folds, the head sifting effortlessly from your clit to your tight hole and back again. Joel laughs, teeth clashing with yours, as he dips in and out, teasing you.
Your ass lifts from the mattress, any movement to draw him nearer. “Stop,” you gasp.
Joel pauses. “Stop?”
“No,” you bleat, “don’t stop. Just – fucking do it.”
“Do what, darlin’?”
“Fuck me.”
And he sinks in.
You’d be lying if you said all you’d done for the last two weeks was cry, mope, and stare at the ceiling. That’d be discrediting everything that this little affair was built on. It’s impossible to forget how the thing fucking started – your hands between your legs, Joel watching from the doorway.
In the moments you didn’t feel the mind-numbing tsunami of heartache overcome you – you felt something else. Memories of his hands on you, the trail of his tongue between your legs, the swell of his cock deep inside you. You tried to replicate it a handful of times with your hands. But nothing – not your fingers, not two, three, or four – nothing stands a chance against him.
He pushes in slow at first, drawing out when he’s halfway, and then in again as he covers himself in the wet his tongue left behind. When he’s soaked, glistening and gleaming, he thrusts. Hard. His tip catches on your cervix, and your back arches in a mix of pain and delight.
Something throbs deep inside as he bottoms out. You feel your opening stretch around his base. You feel your legs widen as if by instinct, accommodating the size of him, the width of him, the pace of him.
You throw an arm over his shoulder, elbow hanging on the nape of his neck. His sweaty forehead sticks to yours, and your hand cups his cheek.
“Harder,” you tell him, and he listens.
“Fuck, baby,” he pants, “fuck, you’re so tight. Oh, my – I ain’t gonna last.”
“Don’t – want you – to,” you cry, body jumping as he fucks you quicker, quicker, harder, deeper. “Want to – come – together.”
Your head tips back against the bed, and Joel’s lips attach to your neck. He’s moaning into your skin, teeth biting down, breath hot and quick. He’s not gonna last he’s not gonna last he’s not –
“F-u-ck, Joel,” you sob, your walls starting to close in around him, “feels so – f-fucking good, oh!”
“I know, darlin’, I know. C’mere.”
He takes your cheek and pulls your face back to his, lines his lips with yours and kisses you. It’s messy, haggard, fucking all over the place as your bodies bounce together, but he tastes like sweat, and sex, and you, and him.
“Missed this so fuckin’ much,” he grunts, hips pounding. “Missed bein’ inside you. You know how bad I needed you?”
“Tell me,” you slur, echoing his own words back to him.
He smirks. “Best fucking pussy I ever had, sweetheart. Best – I ever – had.”
“Don’t pull out,” you hum against his lips, and his jaw pulls back a fraction. “Don’t.”
“Baby,” he says, strained, and your head tilts.
“Need it,” you tell him. “Please. Need you.”
He nods, leaning back into you, letting you connect your mouths again. His lips shudder when you pull away, the thought translated clear as day from your mouth to his. And he knows, and he drives in harder, and he fucks the image from your mind. Who the fuck is Lois, when you’re under him and he’s this deep between your legs?
You look up into his eyes, and you find your answer. She’s nobody. There’s only you.
Your body feels liquid, your mind like fog. You pull him into your body, deeper and deeper, until you’re sure you’re one, and there is no place where he ends and you begin, and you’re sure this is what it feels like, this is what those words feel like, not just the sound of them, not just the way his lips move around them, but the shape of them on and in and around your body. Something deafening, something blinding, something screaming from the pits of your lungs as you come all around him, and you feel him come all around you.
His warmth spurts deep inside you, filling you up, dripping down your walls as he collapses into your shoulder, a loud moan drilling into your collarbone. He slows, thrusts in and out gently, pushing his spend deeper and mixing it with yours.
It's everywhere. The feeling. The pulsing, the humming, the singing. He’s everywhere. Him. In your brain and in your lungs and in your body and in your cunt. And you want to keep him there, hold him there, keep your bodies together for five more minutes, just five more minutes.
But then he’s panting into your skin, pressing kisses into that little dip between your collarbone and your chest, and he slowly slips out, come dripping from where he leaves.
He presses his palm deep into the sheets by your head, lifts off of you – but your arm is still around his neck, and you lean with him. Tilted on his mattress, holding onto him, letting him kiss your head; letting his hand move across the surface of your stomach, mapping the gentle slope over your belly button and scaling the tiny mountains of your hipbones. Kneading softly into the skin over which his seed sits, warm and snug, deep inside you. It’s new. You think you love it.
And he’s whispering, “Good girl, did so good for me,” and he nuzzles his nose into your hair, and he tilts your chin back until he can see your face, see your expression, and he smiles with relief when he clocks your doe eyes, your blissful smile, the sweet tinge of red on your cheeks.
“I love you,” he tells you, and you’re staring at his lips.
“Again.”
“I love you.”
You look up to his eyes. “Again.”
“I love you.”
You smile. It breaks into a laugh. “Again,” you whisper, and he kisses you.
Slowly, only once you pull away from him and your breath steadies, Joel takes your body and carefully shifts. He turns onto his back, settles you on his chest, your hips between his thighs. He runs a gentle hand over your hair and you lie against his sweat-shining chest, his heartbeat whispering sweet nothings into your ear.
Love and sex, as far as you knew, were always two different things. Separate. One, you weren’t even sure existed. The other, nothing more than a need to be satisfied. Something deep within you, something no one had ever managed to touch. And then Joel. And his lips, and his tongue, and his hands and his cock.
And suddenly the two – love and sex – begin to blur, their edges touch frantically. They bleed into one another, until there are no longer two distinct forms; instead, one big shape which has the curve of your hips and the cut of his jaw.
You love him. And he loves you. You’ve heard it translated between your minds longer than you care to admit, and now – you’ve felt it. Transferred between your bodies. You love him. Jesus, you love him.
It’s as terrifying as it is thrilling. Enamoring, and yet dangerous.
“So,” you sigh, “what’s next?”
He glances down, lifts his eyebrows and gives his head a shake. His hand lifts off of your shoulder with a shrug.
“Like, your next move. What happened with the other eight?”
“The other eight?”
“Mhm. Me, Sarah’s mom, makes two. There are eight others, right? What’d you do afterward?”
“Kicked ‘em out.”
You lift a heavy hand and slap his chest. He shudders with laughter.
“I dunno, baby. Wasn’t all like this.”
Your brows knit. “Like what?”
He takes a deep breath. Your head rises as his lungs fill. “Lyin’ in bed afterward. Talkin’.”
“Oh, fuck off.”
“What?” he asks, smirking.
“Who even were they? I wanna know.”
“Why?”
“Just do. I wanna hear about ‘em. When was the last one, before me?”
Joel’s eyes drift off to the ceiling above you, thinking. “May.”
“M–?” You jump up, pushing yourself off of his body. “May?” you repeat, eyes wide. “That’s…so recent.”
“Recent?” He chokes back a laugh. “When’s your last?”
You furrow your brows, dropping his gaze. “We’re not talking about me,” you mumble, thumbs twiddling.
Your last had been two nights before you flew home. You’d gone out with your roommates and dragged home Matteo, an exchange student who you’d worked with on a group project for your screenwriting class. He was three inches shorter than you. He bent you over your kitchen counter and fucked you until he came. Then he made himself some cereal, ate half of it, and left.
Joel doesn’t really need to hear about him, you think.
“Do I know any of them?” you ask in attempt to change the subject.
Joel pulls a face. His lips tighten, teeth clench. His eyes narrow to a thin line, looking at you through his eyelashes. He nods tentatively.
“Shut the fuck up. Who is it? Who?”
“I dunno if you know her, but she knows you.”
“What’s her name?”
“Your dad gave us a ride home from the bar. She ‘n him got to talkin’, and he said he had a daughter –”
Your fist lightly drops onto his chest. “Joel, if you don’t fucking tell me who it is, I –”
“She’s an elementary teacher. Long, dark hair. Good few years older ‘n you. Think she said her little sister went to your school.”
“Who – was – it?”
He makes the face again. This time his eyes close over, waiting for the penny to drop. His head shakes lightly.
“You –? No, Joel. Come on. Please don’t…Are you fucking serious? You don’t remember her name?”
“It was a long night, alright?”
“How did you forget her damn name?”
He shrugs. “I don’t fuckin’ know. I was drunk, baby.”
“Elementary teacher? I don’t know anybody whose sister teaches elementary.”
“Guess we’ll never know.” Joel shrugs, and you shake your head at him.
You’re picturing Joel stumbling out of Frank’s, arm in arm with a brunette, heavy feet dragging along the sidewalk while your dad chitters in his ear about the Rangers, or about some rude bartender, or about…you. The brunette turns, and her face is yours. Your features, your smile. Your hand linked through Joel’s. C’mon, baby. ‘s go home.
You chase the image away. It slips from your mind like dust cleared from a countertop. Would never. Could never. Should never.
You replace it with something lighter. Something to make you forget about the dust.
“Does…Does my dad ever go home with anyone?”
“What?”
You don’t answer. He heard you.
“That’s…No. I ain’t answerin’ that.”
“Oh, come on. If you’re takin’ women home left, right, and center, he’s gotta be seein’ that. Does he?”
“I was not takin’ home women left, right, and – No, darlin’, no. It’s inappropriate.”
“Yeah, you’re right. And I’m known for my appropriate behavior, y’know,” you gesture between your naked bodies, “I’m known for the good life choices I make.”
“This,” Joel hooks his hands under your arms and drags you up until your chin meets his, “is a good life choice.”
“Yeah?” you ask through a giggle, your nose bumping his.
Joel smiles softly, runs a hand over the back of your head. Looks between your eyes, a twinkle in his. Yes.
Your lips crash together like waves on the rocks. You’re the sea; he’s the stone. Two different worlds, suddenly married in some unforeseen twist of nature. And when you pour over him, your body lighting him in a twinkling glow of ocean, it’s as though you never existed apart from one another. It’s as natural as the waves on the shore.
“Alright, darlin’,” Joel mumbles against your skin. “Speakin’ of inappropriate. I gotta get you home.”
“Why can’t I just stay the night?” you complain. “Like last time. Tell ‘im we’re watchin’ a movie again…”
Joel’s head rests on your arm. “He’s worried sick about you. Ain’t no way he’ll let you spend the night here. You know that. Plus, Sarah’ll be long done with Rita’s cross stitch by now.”
He sits up and you roll into his lap, head resting on the soft skin of his belly. He looks down at you, head tilted, eyes glowing hazel.
You stare right back. The dimples in his cheeks dig deeper when you whisper, “Kickin’ me out right after we finally make up. I see how it is, Miller.”
Joel’s shoulders hunch. “Happens to all of ‘em. Warned ya.”
He shifts off the bed and begins gathering his clothes. You sit up and watch as he pulls his boxers snug over his hips, swipes his tee from the carpet at his feet. As he drapes it over his scruffy chest, your half-naked form meets his at the foot of the bed.
His fingers knot in your hair. You lean into his arms, legs giving as he kisses you gently, breathing you in, stealing any more words of protest from your tongue.
“I love you,” he whispers when he pulls away, tip of his nose brushing off yours. “You know that?”
“Somebody told me somethin’ to do with that, yeah.”
He smiles. “Get dressed.”
You pull the rest of your clothes back on in silence, tossing socks and jeans across the room to one another, giggling like a pair of kids. After all you just did, the palpable pleasure you just sent hammering through one another – this is the part you wish you could bottle. The laughter, the love. The attempts to keep holding onto him, even as he tries to pull his arm through the sleeve of his shirt, even as he links his belt back through his jeans, as he bends to tie his boots.
The fun of it. The hope of it.
The foolish, foolish hope.
“Hoodie.” Joel flings it up towards you, crouched as he tightens his laces.
You pull it on over your bra. Flatten your flyaway hairs, stand straight before him.
“Ready?”
“Ready.”
“You got your phone?”
Your hands instinctively pat your body down. “Oh, nah,” you realize, “musta left it at home.”
Joel nods and heads into the hallway, you at his heel. At the bottom of the stairs, you glance around his house, like it’s the first and last time you’ll see it wrapped into one. It looks different; two weeks of absence and you notice things you hadn’t before.
His coat hanging by the door, probably untouched since early spring. The bowl on the side table where his and Sarah’s keys live. The guitar in the corner of the room, the books in the shelves above it. All him. Every little piece of it. He’s reflected in every object in the room. He’s reflected in you.
You drive back to your dad’s place in silence. Comfortable, sweet silence. Your fingers ghost across his palm the entire time, watching out the window as the dark neighborhood soars by in a blur of porch lights and mailboxes. All too quickly, you’re back in front of your own house.
“What do we do now?” you ask, and through the darkness you see Joel’s smile fall.
After a moment’s silence, heavy and contemplative, he looks back up. Softens when his eyes land on you.
“We’ll be alright,” he tells you, and you believe him.
You lean forward and press a quick but tender kiss to his lips, and your fingers latch around the door handle. Joel’s hand finds the back of your head, keeping your mouth on his.
“Gotta – let me – go,” you mumble between kisses, and he hums a laugh in response. “Joel.”
“I know,” he whispers, finally pulling back. “I know.”
You smile, head tilting into his palm. “I’ll text you.”
He nods once. “See you, babygirl.”
You slip out of the truck and wander past to your front door, twirling as you click the handle. Joel laughs, and the truck reverses back onto the street. You wait for it to disappear before closing the door, and step into the unlit hallway.
The TV lights the living room at the opposite end. You stop by the kitchen, feeling the grumpy rumble of your stomach. Your dad’s armchair is sat facing the screen. You lean over to double check he’s not sat in it, fast asleep while Rangers highlights play on loop before his eyelids.
When you swivel the plaid pattern towards your knees, its only occupant is the remote. You flick the TV off and pad back over to the kitchen, filling a bowl with some chips. You’re hunched over at the refrigerator when his footsteps clunk slowly down the stairs, and he materializes like a specter around the doorway.
“Hey.”
You straighten up, lit in a nervous blue hue from the fridge. “Hey, yourself.”
“Joel gone?”
“’bout ten minutes ago. Where’ve you been? You left the TV on.”
“Just…y’know. You get those brochures?”
Fuck. You were at Joel’s under the premise of picking up fucking UCLA pamphlets – and you’ve come home empty-handed. The lie doesn’t form on your tongue as quickly as Joel’s did earlier. Something else on your mind.
“…sure. Some…interesting stuff.”
Your dad nods. “Good. Good, I’m glad. We can take a look in the mornin’.”
Your eyebrows flinch. “Yeah. That’d be – yeah. I’m…gonna head to bed, alright?”
“Sure,” he says, nodding.
With a can of soda under your arm and your bowl of chips in the other, you nod and cautiously shuffle towards him. His lips are a thin line. You duck by him and trot upstairs, and make it as far as the landing before he’s calling out again.
“Oh, hey.” He holds a hand out, and disappears in a jog towards the living room. You drop back down a couple steps, watching him swipe something from the dining table and pace back over. “You left your phone.”
He’s presenting it like a jeweler shows a Rolex – or maybe more like an investigator handles evidence. Holding it out in almost trembling fingers, afraid to mark it with his fingerprints. Your eyes flit from the phone to his, unsure which of the two frightens you more.
That’s not where I fucking left it.
You lean over and take it from his palm. “Thanks…”
“I think maybe you got a text, just then. It was lit up. Maybe I’m seein’ things.”
You force the corners of your mouth upward. Your cheeks inflate with nerves and shame. “Thanks,” you repeat, and then: “Everything okay, Dad?”
“Everything’s fine, kiddo. Sleep well.” He makes back for the living room.
As you turn, you unlock your screen.
Joel: Left your shirt here, and your bikini from last week. This mean I get to be the one wearing your clothes now?
Panic spills over your head, a wave of freezing cold washing over you when you read his words. Did Dad read them, too?
You continue walking, feeling the weight of your dad’s strange voice on your back as your feet drag you one by one up the stairs. When you make it back to the landing, your cool flees you, and you take the rest of them two at a time until you’re leaning against your bedroom door, panting.
You: Problem. I think my dad saw that text
Joel: How so?
You: When I got home my phone was next to his chair, and he’s being so weird
You: Joel I think he knows something
Joel: I’m sure he doesn’t. He wouldn’t read your phone baby.
He’s trying to reassure you, telling you he wouldn’t even know what it means, maybe he’ll think you spilled something on it, but no matter how many ideas Joel comes up with, none of them slow your heart rate.
You sit down on the edge of your bed, and the anxiety bubbling in your stomach forces you straight back up. Pacing doesn’t help, knowing your dad is directly below you probably hearing the floorboards creak with every step you take.
Your head dizzies with doubts, fears, worries, all frantically throwing themselves against the walls of your skull. You lean your forehead against the cold glass of your window, eyes screwing shut, stars in your vision. Nothing is calming you down.
Joel takes too long to reply back, whether he’s running out of explanations or just fucking forty-eight with an iPhone, but every time your phone buzzes with a new attempt at comfort from him, it only convinces you even more that – no, it wasn’t a stain, it wasn’t a joke, Joel has your top because you took it off for him an hour ago, and then let him fuck you in his bed.
And your dad fucking knows it.
#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller x reader#the last of us#tlou#tlou fic#dbf!joel miller#dbf!joel#dad's best friend#joel miller smut#pedro pascal#pedro pascal joel miller#cowboy like me#smut#fluff#angst
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THE TROPHY WIFE VOX ONE PLEASE 🙏
I get misty just holding your hand —
Vox x reader,, 1.4k words
a/n — the prompt was this, but if you want to educate yourself on this little au of mine, here and here!
warnings — Vox being a whiny bitch about his situation, mainly just fluff, gender neutral reader, established relationship
summary — After the fall of the Vees, Vox has resorts to being what can only be described as your trophy wife, who gets paraded around at one of your work parties.
“Oh fuck no, I’m not going to that party,” Vox practically cackled, hands coming to his stomach as he laughed.
You rolled your eyes from across the room and walked over to him with a small smile, “Vox, it really won’t be that bad—”
Your comment went unnoticed, “I mean, bringing your ex-overlord boyfriend who’s famous for exploiting workers to a work party.”
His laughter died down into small breathy chuckles as he continued folding the laundry, “Yeah, babe, I’m sure your coworkers would love me.”
Of course, that wasn’t the only reason he’d denied the idea so heavily. It was true, he was desperately ashamed of his current situation, and it wasn’t like he’d seen much of the public lately.
Over the course of a few months, ever since the fall of the Vees, Vox had made the terrible discovery that hell never really needed him. Sure, electricity was a hassle for a few days, but it wasn’t like all of the other rings of hell relied on the Vees for anything. It didn’t take long at all for the citizens of the Pride Ring to continue they’re life, using the same electricity, socials, and porn as all the other rings, without any help from the Vees, or more specifically, Vox.
And yes, this had brought a fair amount of shame to Vox, whose only usefulness depended on how well he could do your dishes. The idea of facing the public eye, who most likely wanted him dead and buried, only appearing as your little housewife was positively unthinkable.
Until tonight, of course. You sat down on the couch next to him, and picked up a shirt to begin folding it, assisting him in the process.
“I’m not saying you have to go,” you begin, putting the shirt on a pile of folded clothes and picking up a pair of pants. Vox scoffs at your comment, but you continue, “But I do want you there. Vox, I need you there.”
The last comment might not have been technically true, but just as you hoped, it did bring a silence to the room. Vox’s hands had stopped working on the laundry, and yours followed soon.
“Fine, i’ll go,” He finally sighed, “But if they don’t have the wine I like, i’m fucking leaving.”
And so he went.
If Vox was being honest, he did miss getting all dressed up. He couldn’t even tell you how long it’s been since he put one of his precious bow ties on. As for his suit jacket, he decided to ditch it. Although he liked the look of it, it felt far too ‘evil overlord-y,’ and in the light of being totally powerless, he’d rather not provoke anyone with bad memories of his rain or terror.
Oh well, plain button up and sweater vest it is. The party was more of a casual-formal vibe. And besides, strangely, it felt in bad taste to take too much of the attention away from you.
Wow, Vox thought, that’s gotta be an original thought from me. For the first time in his life, and death, he didn’t feel his usual deep craving for attention. Yes, because he didn’t want to get assaulted by an angry ex-worker of his, but in a sense, he’d grown used to the normalcy of life around the house. You were the breadwinner, and his job was to simply be on your arm. He sighed, what a dull thought.
“You ready, Vox?” You questioned as you stood outside of the studio apartment the party was being held at. In all honesty, you weren’t exactly excited either.
Your ideal Friday night was not going to your prissy bosses house, and drinking shitty whine while you see the unfortunate drunken side of many of your coworkers. All the more reason you were glad Vox was here.
“Of course, can you not see how happy I am to be here?” He spoke tightly and through gritted teeth, a sweat working up on his upper neck while his screen brightness dulled.
You didn’t say anything back, you just slipped your hand into his as you opened the door to the apartment. The inside was as expected, needlessly classy, decorated with chic and pointy furniture, and irritating smooth jazz playing in the background. You roll your eyes at the surroundings, god, upperclass sinners always love to pretend they aren’t in hell.
Vox’s hand tightened around yours when people started noticing the two of you. He was extremely recognizable, I mean, not a lot of people have TV for a head. But it was undeniable the murmurs heard around the room when you walked further into the loft.
You look over to Vox and frown slightly. His shoulders were tense, and his posture was uncharacteristically bad. In truth, you’d never seen him look quite so out of place. Jesus, even at rock bottom he usually never acted so self conscious.
“I should have brought something,” He remarked to himself, “Food, or something. Fucksake, people always get more comfortable when eating. Damn, I’m rusty.”
“And have them suffer your terrible cooking,” you take the opportunity to lighten the mood, “Jesus, these people would crack your screen in half. Hell, I want too whenever I eat your food—“
A small laugh was earned from the clearly joking comment. Thank god, you think as his shoulders relax slightly, but his eyes still dart around suspiciously.
The party is all together pretty mundane. You were surprised at how close Vox stuck to your side. Maybe it was the fact neither of you had been out in public together since he was a famous CEO, but you’d definitely expected him to shmooze more.
There seemed to be an understanding that these were absolutely not his people. Although he didn’t recognize some of them, they recognized him. Lots of ex-voxtech workers had to get different jobs after the crash, which meant of course, some were bound to work in the same place as you.
“Oh y/n, so glad you could make it,” a coworker of yours had approached you, mid-thought, “And you brought… uhm, who’s this you have with you?”
Vox raised his finger as if to speak, but you interrupted, feeling irritated by your acquaintance’s judging eyes, “You know who he is, my boyfriend, Vox.”
Your smile had grown into a showboating grin that Vox knew all too well. Your words were proud, and you placed your hand on his lower back while speaking.
He was thankful for your charm, it not only made him feel more familiar with the social circumstance, but it gave him an entrance.
“Yes, Vox, very nice to meet you,” he leaned down, extending his hand and smiling his, now rusty, customer service smile, feeling comforted by way your hand slinked around his waist.
The demon looked weary, but the conversation continued relatively easily, as did all the conversations for the rest of the night. You oversold Vox whenever you could, he’s such a great chef, he keeps the apartment so well, you couldn’t imagine not having him to come home too at the end of the day.
Vox happily played into it, each comment from you being met with a witty joke from him, or a charming flick of his wrist and then, “Oh, it’s nothing, really.”
He felt good. In fact, for the first time in months, he felt didn’t feel an overt lack of control in life. What he was doing, he knew for a fact he was good at; smooth talking the crowd.
What did he even have to worry about in the first place? Classy parties were something he had immense knowledge about. And here, he felt great, being paraded around as your trophy and gawked at, like he really meant something. Dear god, has he missed that, meaning something.
A few months had passed since the beginning of his stay-at-home life, and not once had he’d entertained the idea of liking this form of existence. But now he had to admit, he always thought of himself as a gift to gods green earth, but truly being shown off as your prize, that did something to him.
The purpose he felt he lacked at the beginning of the evening, and for months on end, had been filled. He was yours, and he was something to brag about.
Although many of the things you were saying, him being a great house keeper, weren’t true, they very well could be.
As he engaged in conversation after conversation with your uselessly classy coworkers, he basked in your attention and indirect praise.
Maybe, after all, he could get used to this.
a/n — Song lyric title is misty by lesley gore by the way because 50s housewife music !!
Anyways, I think I went to ham on this one gang. I don’t know how much I like it—
#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#vox x reader#vox x y/n#vox x reader fluff#vox x you#hazbin hotel vox x reader#hazbin vox x reader#hazbin hotel fluff
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Dirty Work 30
Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as bullying, familial discord/abuse, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.
This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.
Summary: You start a new gig and find one of your clients to be hard to please.
Characters: Loki
Note: can't wait for Friday.
As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.
Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Please do not just put ‘more’. I will block you.
I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖
Mr. Laufeyson reappears as the tea steeps. You pour him a cup and bring it to him, quiet and bashful. Despite washing away the mess, your hand still feels strange.
He takes it and eyes the amber liquid. He blows over it and sips tentatively. He checks his watch.
"Alas, as much as I'd love to say and... watch," he drawls, "I do have somewhere to be."
This surprises you but you try not to let it show. You should be happy for the respite, some time to get yourself together, to try to understand all the emotions and sensations unfurling inside you. You nod and clasp your hands together.
"Yes, Mr. Laufeyson, I'll continue cleaning," you avow.
"Hm, yes, please do make sure to put away the clothing in the bedroom. My sister left them in the front room. You make make space in the closet," he explains. "As well, I've let the carpenter in, if you haven't heard--" he pauses for effect as the dull, distant hammering carries through the wall, "as it were, you've proven yourself capable. I cannot speak to my return but I trust all will be in order."
"Yes, Mr. Laufeyson," you answer.
His eyes flit up to you and his lips slant. His cheek ticks but he doesn't speak. He merely arches a brow and spins on his foot and waltzes away with his tea. You watch him, almost reverently. You never noticed how nice his shoulders look in those shirts...
✨
With the house empty, you find your work is simple. You can focus, not so distracted or paranoid by Mr. Laufeyson's looming presence. You finish your usual sweep of the first floor and carry the piles of clothing upstairs in several trips.
You're out of breath as you slide open the closet and do your best to fit in the dresses, skirts, blouses, and a few pairs of pants. The stockings and undergarments you fit in one of the drawers below the hanging jackets. You can't help but take your time as you admire all the lovely colours and fabrics.
You're struck by a thought. When he's done with you, do you get to keep these or do these only come with the work? With your peculiar arrangement. You falter and shut the closet.
You tidy up the spare hangers and try not to think. You look down at the black velvet under the white apron. You look ridiculous. You're dressed like a whore. That's what this is, isn't it?
Your skin scalds as you shove away the hangers in the hallway closet and return to the bedroom. You can't keep this on. It's like a brand marking you. You pull out a plain pair of black pants and a rosy blouse. It'll do.
You've been so caught up in everything, it's as if you've completely detached from reality. There's more than this house and Mr. Laufeyson and his orders. What about your father? Your real home. You grab your phone and stare at the screen, wanting to dial his number, but thinking better of it. You swipe away the several missed calls from the electric company.
You shake off the malaise but it trails after you. You go to the library and settle in behind the laptop. You sit and stare at the clustered excel and rub your eyes. You can't seem to focus. The dull thumping draws your attention from the glare of the screen and you go to the window, tearing open the curtains.
You peer out but can't quite see past the hedges. It's a beautiful day. You could go around, just to make sure nothing needs tending. It's a weak excuse but one you'll gladly take.
You leave the library and descend the stairs, a pair of flats in hand. Oh, you didn't even put out any water. You go to the kitchen to fetch a jug and glass. You carry it to the back door and stop to slip on the shoes.
You go out into the sunshine as your eyes slit against the bright yellow sheen. You balance the jug and glass as best you can as you follow the path down to the gazebo. The hammering is quieted but you can hear Ronan's footsteps on the wooden stairs. You blink through the sunny haze as you enter the shade and catch sight of him.
"Morning," you greet him as you stop just at the bottom. He turns to you and offers a small curve of his lips. He wears a sweat-stained tank which shows off the top his chest and his muscular arms.
"Morning, miss," he returns, "how are you?"
"Alright, you?" You ask, "I brought some water."
"Thank you," his voice rumbles from his chest as he wipes his forehead, "haven't seen you in a while."
"Uh, well, I've been busy," you chew your lip.
He comes down the steps and takes the jug and glass from you. He places them at the edge of the second step and turns back to you.
"Oh yes, I'm sure that boss of yours keeps you all tied up," he muses, "your little chipmunk friend has been looking for you, I think."
"Really?" You look around, "I... I guess I should try to get out more."
You reach back to scratch your neck. You're suddenly regretting your choice. Facing him makes you burn from more than the beaming sunlight. You're sure he can see right through you.
"I should... uh," you point weakly behind you.
"Yes, suppose you should," he sighs, "shouldn't take much longer."
"Um," you look past him, "yeah, er, looks really good."
"Mm," he hums curtly, "see ya around, then."
He turns back and hops back up the steps. You frown and dip your chin down. You walk away glumly, kicking your feet around heavily.
It's your own fault. You forget your place, you forget who and what you are. No one cares about you, they only have a use for you, and you're better off out of his way.
✨
As Ronan pulls through the gate, a toot comes from the other side. You keep the switch held down as Mr. Laufeyson’s car glides through. His return darkens the black cloud that's formed in his absence.
He gets out, light on his feet as he swiftly heads up the walk. You close the gate, put off by his brusque disregard. He's reverted to cool sternness.
You follow a few minutes after him but find no sign of him inside. You wet your lips and go upstairs. You enter the library silently and sit in front of the laptop.
There's a block in his schedule but no label. You've been staring at it for some time, trying to figure it out. You lean forward as you click through notes.
“Hard at work, I see,” he enters with the droll remark, “I see this place is spotless, and yet here you are…”
You look at him and blink.
“Mr. Laufeyson, did I miss–”
He quiets you as he reaches to touch the collar of your blouse, “I did not bid you to change.”
“I… sorry, Mr. Laufeyson, I finished cleaning–”
“But I did not finish with you,” he retorts.
You blanch and stand up, shifting awkwardly between the chair and him. He catches you by the shoulders and his eyes glint. He tilts his head and you hit the armrest.
“I also told you I dealt with the carpenter, didn't I?” He snarls.
His tone slices through you and you wince, “sorry, I only–”
“I don’t want to hear excuses. I only want you to do your duty. Obey, that is it.”
You snap your mouth shut and pout. You look down and bring your hand together, wringing them as you sway. A thought flickers and lights an epiphany.
“How…” you peek up, “how do you know I went out there?”
He tilts his head dangerously, “since when do you question me?”
You shrug and look away. He grabs your chin and puts your head straight, crowding you against the chair. He leans in as his green eyes bore into yours.
“As fun as you are, pet, I am not fond of disobedience. You grow careless and it is not becoming,” he sneers.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Laufeyson,” you gulp, “I…” you wiggle your nose, “I will listen. I promise.” Your lower lip trembles, “what do you want me to do?”
He considers you, his jaw tensing. He lets you go gruffly and flutters his fingers as he sighs. He struts to the door as you stare dumbly. Did you say the wrong thing? How? Why is he so upset? You didn’t do anything. You’re confused.
He said he wanted you, didn’t he? So why is he walking away?
He stops in the doorway of his study. He reaches to grip the frame and lingers there. He lowers his head and turns. You look at his profile as he thinks beneath the shroud of his eyelashes. They flick up and scan over to you.
“Yes, let’s work on your obedience, pet,” he lets go of the door frame and turns as he wags his finger at you, “pull up that chair.” He goes to the other side of the desk, “here.”
You take his command eagerly. If you’re good, he won’t be mad. If you’re good, he’ll say nice things again. If you’re good, he won’t throw you away.
You struggle to lift the heavy chair but do. You scrape it just before you put it where he points. You step back, expecting him to claim the seat himself. He tuts as he steps back on his heel.
“Sit, pet.”
Again, you accept his order without a thought. You lower yourself onto the edge of the chair and await his next demand. He looks down on you, his eyes narrowing on either side of his long nose. He brings his hand up to tug on the knot of his tie just before letting it trail down to the end. His throat bobs and he exhales slowly, his chest deflating.
“Do you recall the game we played earlier?” He asks.
You nod. Of course, you remember. It’s stuck in your head.
“Well then, you may go ahead,” he gestures to his trousers.
You let your eyes descend from his face. Your gaze crawls down his long torso and to his belt. The burgundy leather looped through the brown fabric. You twitch then steady yourself. There’s something in you that’s excited, and that other part that’s terrified.
You unbuckle his belt shakily. Clumsy as you catch the little stick on several holes before you get it loose. You let the leather fall lax and fumble with the metal button, your head pounding at the air trapped in your chest. You pinch the tab of his zipper and tug it down, little by little.
He wears no briefs, as if he planned this. Maybe he did. You don’t care. None of that matters. You know what he wants. You need to think of that before you ever think about what you want. Maybe you want the same thing. That tickle between your legs seems to say so.
He shifts as he pokes out of the top of his pants. You spread his fly open as he bulges through. You push his trousers down a little further and let out a gasp. Up close, he looks even bigger than before. It’s still so new to you, so strange, a bit silly looking even.
You raise your hand and touch him. You brush your fingertips against his taut skin and he groans. You wrap your fingers around him lightly as he braces his hips, tilting his pelvis slightly.
“Tighter,” he growls.
You obey. You squeeze and pump up, then down. He shudders and lets out another groan. His fingertips curl into his hips. You keep going, the same motion, the same noise. You do it several times as you feel the tension coiling in him.
As you play with him, heat speckles in your thighs and your core sparks. You wince as Mr. Laufeyson’s hand surprises you, reaching forward to pet your cheek, then trails up over your hair. He hums and spreads his fingers behind your head.
“Pet,” he rasps, “with your mouth.”
He pulls you forward just a bit and you squeak. You look up at him, shocked. He can’t mean… that.
“Mmm, pet, please, yes, keep looking at me,” his other hand loosens your other from his dick.
He grips his base and steps closer, angling his tip against your lower lip. You try to pull back but he keeps you in place. He grasps your head tighter and crushes his swollen head to your lips. You have no choice but to open up to him.
He slips into your mouth as you close your eyes. He tisks and fists your hair, tugging.
“I said look at me.”
You snap your eyes open, peering up helplessly as he urges into you. An inch, then another, then another, until he pokes at your throat. You murmur as he eases back then in again. The wet noise of you around him curdles in your stomach yet the glow in your pelvis radiates hotter.
“Mmm, pet,” he drags you along his length slowly, rocking his hips slightly, “don’t you like to obey me?”
You hum around him and he grunts. He prods at your throat with each thrust, each time blunter than the last. Your eyes glisten as tears bobble along the brims. For more than the discomfort, but the shame. The realisation of what he’s doing to you, of what you’re letting him do.
You latch onto the arms of the chair as you slide closer to the edge of the chair. He brings his other hand to your head, gripping it firmly as he uses your mouth. Your eyes roll back behind the lids and he snarls.
“Open,” he sneers, “look at me, pet.”
You sniffle, barely able to breath as he speeds up. Your tears flow free as you look up at him and his green irises darken as his pupils dilate. He bites his lips and growls as he stills you, instead tilting his hips into you. He hits your throat again, this time breaking past the resistance.
You gag and spasm but he doesn’t relent. He holds himself there, wiggling his pelvis as his thumb stretches to touch a droplet along your cheek. He purrs and rolls back before gliding back into your slick mouth.
“When you look at that carpenter, I want you to remember this. I want you to remember who you belong to,” he hisses around pleasured grunts.
You bat your wet lashes as you sit mercilessly in his thrall. Your vision blurs as your mortification swells over and your body wracks as his intensity builds. Through it all, your mind wanders to the den and the camera hidden on the mantle. It can’t be the only one. It’s the only way he would know.
But it isn’t him who’s wrong. It’s his house, his rules, and you disobeyed him. He told you he dealt with Ronan, he told you who you belong to. You didn’t listen and this is the lesson you learn.
#loki#dark loki#dark!loki#loki x reader#fic#dark fic#dark!fic#series#au#maid au#dirty work#avengers#mcu#marvel#thor
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day 13. blindfold kink. with. irene.
446 words.
tags.
kinktober ‘23, idol x male reader, blindfold kink(/fetish/is this even a thing?), sex toys(?), ass play (reader receiving), you are basically just the guy from the peek-a-boo mv, but in a fantasy setting, horror undertones, happy (or, spoopy?) friday the 13th, tags are hard.
notes.
just winging it at this point. improvisedly, leaf.
The last thing you see, before she positions herself behind the wooden chair you’re sitting on and tied to and removes her red top to knot it around your head as a blindfold, are Irene’s swamp green witch eyes. Green like the rage she has stored up for the people who banished her, or maybe green like the hope that tonight will be the start of a new life for her, and only because of you.
“There is one last ingredient that I need to gather from you, boy, and then my brew will be complete.” Not many ingredients she would need to strip you naked to get, you figure. “But where’s the fun in that?”
You shiver as you feel a razor’s blade slide down your cheekbone to your jaw, then as her sharp canines repeatedly bite around the side of your waist, and again as her warm, grease-covered digits wrap around your already erect length, all the sensations accentuated by your lack of vision.
“Not so fast, boy. We’ll need the purest specimen of your seed. And to get that,” you hear sounds of metallic objects dropping onto the thick walnut table, “we’ll follow a special procedure”
The witch opens your legs wider and drags your butt closer to the edge of the chair, then you feel a cold, wet sphere press against your puckered hole. You groan in pain, but no sound leaves your throat.
“Sorry, boy, I’d love to hear everything you want to say later, but right now, I just need my sample. So be nice and quick, and give me what I ask for”
You can only try your best to endure the pain in silence, as the orb is forced (your vision is impaired, so it doesn’t require a lot of focus for you to visualize it) deeper and deeper in your hole, seemingly not needing to be pushed by her fingers. When it reaches your prostate, you feel a surge of electricity propagate through your body. As the sphere starts massaging all around your sensitive spot, Irene’s hand envelops your erection once again, and with a couple swipes of her long, soft, oily digits along your shaft, you give her what she’s looking for. Buckets on buckets of white nectar are squeezed out of you only to be collected in a long, thin glass jar as you scream in silence from the still ongoing stimulation on your p-spot.
“Perfect, boy, now bear with me as I make the brew complete and initiate the ritual. You don’t mind attending to it from there, right? Worry not, for I’ll be back soon; so many more nights of ceremonies are awaiting us”
-
footnotes.
i might be going insane. slowly, leaf.
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Tonight you belong to me, chapter 2
Summary: He comes to you every Friday, in a shady motel on the outskirts of town.
Two months have passed since your first time at the motel with Frankie. What has changed, what hasn't. Who are you now?
Pairing: Frankie Morales x fem!Reader (OFC)
Rating: Explicit 🔞 PLEASE, see series masterlist for extensive trigger warnings.
A/N: Happy Frankie Friday, Orange besties 🧡 How are you all? Gentle reminder that our Reader is an OFC. In this chapter, we get to know her better, and there are indirect physical descriptions of her. Sincerest apologies to anyone who knows Tampa. I did a lot of research, but I'm afraid my ignorance will still show… I swear I did my best. Raul is real, though. He's a friend of a very dear friend and he lives in Paris.
@frannyzooey my love, as always, I am in your debt. Thank you for your help. I love you more than words 🧡
I hope you enjoy this one, Orange besties, it made me sweat blood, @dreamymyrrh and @pedrit0-pascalit0 had to listen to my constant whining to put me on life support. Ily 🧡
Word count: 8.6k
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Chapter 2: Closer
The traffic is dense, but you spot Ava’s red Toyota as soon as it turns into E 7th avenue.
On any given Saturday, the upbeat neighborhood is bustling with cheerful crowds of leisured weekenders and hip thirty-something. On this particular Saturday, the first after Thanksgiving, the streets are a vision from hell.
There’s a constant ballet of cars pulling in and out along the curbs. On each side of the avenue, the sidewalks are swarming with jittery shoppers, frenetically prospecting for good deals on potential Christmas gifts. You’re willing to bet that most of them will stretch their budget thin on useless, meaningless knickknacks. Generic trinkets without soul nor purpose but that will, for the first half hour of ownership at least, fill the void in their consumers’ existence.
The traditional Christmas tree of unholy proportions is up and sparkling. Wrapped around the iron porch columns, electrical garlands blink in rapid sequences like luminescent spasmodic snakes. Storefronts are decorated with more or less taste. The temperature has dropped twice below 70. It’s that time of the year.
The merry season usually finds you adding a generous helping of anxiolytics to your daily cocktail of little helpers. This year, however, you haven’t popped a pill in days, and everything feels… more. Louder, too vivid, more oppressive. Sensations magnified and emotions amplified. Which is, after all, what you were aiming at when you unilaterally decided to taper off your intake.
Ava miraculously secures a free spot on the other side of the avenue, about a hundred yards in front of yours. You watch her parallel park, the maneuver surprisingly sloppy, given the parking assist technology the brand-new hybrid car is equipped with, and you wonder if you really needed to spend that much money on it.
In front of your own parked car, pedestrians agglutinate at the crosswalk. When the light turns green, they move as one, like flocks of extras on a movie set, coming to life on cue when the director yells “action!”
They’re not extras, however, each one of them is the main character in the movie of their life. Together they form a constellation of individual and interconnected stories, while you stand at the margin, forever exhausted, willfully forlorn. At best, a supporting part in Ava’s fantastic tale of eccentric adventures, but more likely a backdrop in your father’s gripping success story.
Although, your narrative has changed drastically over the past two months. You now got a part in your own right, unfolding in between takes.
You wait until Ava gets out of her vehicle before you exit yours, reluctant to leave the hushed safety of your old sedan’s cab, even for the few minutes it’ll take you to meet with her and step into the coffee place.
You wave at her from across the busy street until she sees you, but when she proceeds to jaywalk over to you, reckless and entirely indifferent to your pleading expression, you have to avert your eyes. There’s a crosswalk right in front of you, god dammit.
She levels up with you and pecks a kiss on your cheek, hitting your cheekbone with force, more headbutt than demonstration of affection.
“Hey,” she says, barely stopping in her tracks before she pushes open the glass door to the coffee shop.
“Hello, pup,” you answer fondly, your words lost to the street’s bustle.
Inside, the artificial air instantly pulls at your skin. The atmosphere is cool but dry, saturated with the smell of freshly grounded coffee beans and greasy-sweet pastries. The high-ceiling, cement floor, wide open-space is packed. The brick walls reverberate the ambient noises, and the late morning sun beams brightly through the large floor-to-ceiling windows, evenly spaced along the lateral walls. People sit in small parties around the white designer tables, sipping iced coffees from tall red paper cups with white snowflakes, large shopping bags at their feet.
Trying your best not to shrink and shrivel from the multiple overwhelming stimuli, you focus on Ava’s back, walking behind her as she leads the way to a free table at the rear of the coffee shop, between the counter and one of the windows. There’s a regal quality to her gait and the way she carries herself, not unlike your father, the resemblance enhanced by her preference for masculine clothing, and you have to love the irony, given how much she hates the man. She has your mother’s beauty, though. The same luxurious dark hair, fair, flawless skin, and wide green eyes, her frame tall, her figure athletic. She’s the masterpiece. Next to her, you look like a clumsy first draft, with blurry edges and hesitant features.
She throws her jean jacket on the back of her chair and collapses on her seat with a theatrical sigh.
Across from her, you sit down gingerly on the edge of the hard wooden chair, balancing your weight around the sore and delicious ghost sensation of Frankie between your hips.
“You look good,” you start.
“Yeah, you too!” she exclaims, like it’s unexpected, “tired but like, good. Are you getting any sleep?”
You smile, waving your hand dismissively.
“Don’t we have to go to the counter to order?”
“No, it’s fine,” she answers, “they serve at the table. I’m having an oat milk matte, what do you want?”
“An espresso, I think.”
Right on cue, a young woman dressed in a black cropped top and black skinny jeans presents herself at your table and proceeds to tap in your order on a rectangular electronic device. Her long acrylic nails hit the screen with a rapid succession of click-click-click. The sound brings you back to your parents' dining-room, the large table standing like an angular island on the shiny square of reflective tiles, in the middle of a shag carpet ocean. Your mother’s nails, painted in Revlon Desirable #150, rattling impatiently over the lacquered surface of the dining table near her untouched plate and a glass of G&T sweating with condensation. She never ate her food. She drank even when she was pregnant.
Your fingers find the back of your knee and pinch the thin skin there, so hard you flinch.
The waitress waltzes off, and Ava returns her full attention to you.
“I’m happy to see you,” she offers, and you smile softly at her uncustomary expression of affection. Your chest expends. “It’s been a while.”
There’s no reproach in her tone, but you are usually the one expressing ill-concealed concern over her long silences, and the reversal in your dynamic throws you off. Guilts gnaws at you. You choose defense.
“You were away.”
“Yeah, but like, I came back three weeks ago.”
Three weeks. Your smile fades and you slump in your chair, running a quick mental calculation.
Time has never been an easy concept for you to grasp, but until recently, you’ve managed to remain afloat and functioning, on a practical level at least, amidst a society that revolves around schedules and timetables. The watch on your wrist, yearly organizers, recently and reluctantly replaced by the iCal app on your phone, sticky notes, tin boxes filled with tickets stubs… All clutches to your failing memory, anything to keep you tethered against an overpowering and primal instinct to escape, let go, drift away. And perhaps, most of your exhaustion stems from this endless swimming-race against the current.
Lately, your inability to remember appointments, to navigate time and hold an effective grasp on reality has reached a new high. For the past two months, your life has revolved around Friday nights and the sound of a red pickup truck pulling in and out of a decrepit motel’s parking, tires screeching on the gravel. Inside this timeframe, your entire life is contained. Around it, the days stretch, spiral, and blend. And you’ve lost all motivation and interest in any counter-current swimming.
You frown slightly, scanning her face, but she doesn’t let on anything out of the ordinary. After all, if she genuinely worried, if she so badly needed to see you, she could have given you a call. You were the one to reach out and ask to see her this morning.
Something’s different about her, in the way she holds herself straighter on her seat, with her legs crossed and her head tilted to the side, exposing the undercut she got before the summer. You’re still not entirely sure if this was the bold fashion statement she claimed it to be, rather than a dramatic reaction to her girlfriend moving back to New York. With Ava, it could be both. She’s not wearing any makeup today, her face looks disarmingly young, and the concern she’s expressed, however subtle, churns your insides with guilt and affection.
You plaster a polite smile on your face.
“Well, I’m here now. It’s good to see you, too. Tell me, how was New York? How’s Polly?”
The waitress returns with the pastries and beverages you ordered, and Ava begins to narrate her two-week trip to the big city. She speaks fast, punctuating her words with large gestures to describe the cultural buoyancy, the hip neighborhoods and her thrifts finds, the street food and the refined, cutting-edge restaurants, how everything is bigger there, faster and better, how she fell safe walking hand in hand with Polly, the clubs, the galleries, the weather, crisp air and chilly winds from the north, a refreshing, comforting seasonality to pace the existence.
“I was fucking crying when I boarded the plane back, you have no idea.”
“Oh, I can imagine,” you sigh, shaking your head. “You don’t miss her too much?”
She doesn’t answer, and something in the way she avoids your gaze makes you frown again.
Polly and you have always gotten along well. You genuinely appreciate her solar personality and her worldly conversation. Their encounter four years ago had been the silver-lining in an otherwise horrendous year. The happy, coincidental consequence of a chain of events that had been years in the making.
When Ava dropped out of college halfway through her freshman year, it provided your father with the excuse he had been waiting for to kick his own child out of his house. You had seen it coming. In fact, you had spent your entire adult life shielding Ava from the paternal discontent, investing all your strength into becoming the son and successor he had wished for, and that neither of you could ever be.
Ava, however, had never put in the effort. She didn’t fit into the family portrait. She never had. You didn’t want her to, and she simply couldn’t. Too rebellious, decidedly unconventional, and, well, queer, to boot. Your father had spent years formatting you and there she was, standing proud, strengthened by your unconditional support, a glaring highlight of your diverging values, a breathing reminder of his failure with you both.
In the aftermath of the fall-out, Adrian had refused to take her in, and she had spent days out of your sight, sleeping god knows where. Eventually, you’d dug your heels in, as you only ever did when Ava was concerned and her wellbeing on the line, and obtained that she move in with you. The cohabitation hadn’t gone smoothly in the least. As usual, Adrian was more concerned about potentially upsetting your father than making you happy. You were once again caught between crossed fires.
The strained situation with your fiancé notwithstanding, Ava couldn't spend her time sitting idly at home. You had pleaded with her for weeks before she agreed to resume her studies. Only this time, it had to be with your funding. The realization that you didn’t have any consequential money of your own had been brutal, even though it shouldn’t have been a surprise: you lived in Adrian’s apartment, and were employed by your father, who refused point-blank to let you sell some of your company shares, knowing the money would go to his estranged daughter.
All you could afford was Hillsborough Community College, but things had eventually taken a turn for the better when Ava and Polly had met. Polly was teaching psychology, waiting for a tenure that she would never be granted. Because of the 20-year age gap between them, she insisted Ava graduate with her BA before they started properly dating. And when they did, the improvement in your sister’s mental state and overall balance was immediately noticeable.
Calm and collected, affectionate and thoughtful, Polly grounds your young sibling. She eases her anger and channels her energy into creative and fruitful endeavors, without snuffing her rebellious temper.
And now, despite Ava being almost fully independent, with a job and a place of her own, you don’t know what you’d do if they were to break up. If one of them were to decide that a long-distance relationship is not what she wants.
You lean forward, your hand coming to rest over hers, warm and smooth. “Hey pup, what’s up? Is everything ok between you two?”
“Oh yes,” she quickly assures you, withdrawing her hand, “and by the way, she sends you her best.”
Understanding downs on you like a bucket of ice. You suddenly feel stupid, pathetically naive, forever one step behind. Leaning back in your chair, you let out a short, soundless huff. What you’re facing is not a breakup, but the likely possibility that Ava will soon move out of town to follow Polly to New York.
Ava is talking again, about New York you’re guessing, but you can’t focus on her words. Behind your impassive eyes and your attentive smile, your mind reels and wrestles with a downpour of conflicting thoughts and emotions. Pride flares in your chest at the prospect of your baby sister setting roots in a city as intimidating as New York, but it tugs at something else, something you’re too scared to consider, and an ugly feeling you’re reluctant to acknowledge.
Would she hesitate before leaving you behind, after you’ve prioritized her freedom over yours? After you stayed so she could fly away? And wouldn’t it be the point?
Your eyes travel up along the trail of small tattoos adorning her forearms. Dominos, tea cups, a white rabbit with round glasses, a flamingo, several thin arrows, a broken heart in flames.
What’s your purpose, if she’s not here anymore? If someone else is looking after her? If your sacrifice is no longer necessary nor justified?
“How was Thanksgiving dinner? Did you have fun talking about politics with Richard?”
You wince involuntarily at your father’s name. She never refers to them as “mom” and “dad.” She hasn’t for a long while. But today the sarcasm doesn’t fool you, no more than her feigned indifference.
She’s not truly asking if you had to bite your tongue and smile through conversations that make you nauseous. She knows well enough you’ve got just enough political convictions to carry you to the voting poll, but hardly a step further. Listening to him is painful, but you get by, and your shameful silence buys you necessary peace.
No, what she wants to know is if your family inquired about her. And you don’t have it in you to answer that no, no one has, not last Thursday, not for the past four years, not ever. Not your indifferent father, nor your inebriated mother. Not your bigot grandparents, not your egotistic aunt and her gold-digging husband, not even the housekeeping staff.
You shrug noncommittally.
“Who were the guests of honor, this year?”
The question makes you groan and briefly close your eyes at the memory.
“Adrian’s parents.”
“No?! Fuck! They really want this marriage to happen, don’t they? Looks like you’re not gonna be able to dodge much longer.”
She smacks her hand over her thigh, letting out a short staccato of a chuckle, as if the subject of your confinement through marriage was a laughing matter. You glare at her, crossing your legs and folding your arms over your chest, but the shifting in your demeanor goes unnoticed.
Suddenly, her levity riles you up. She got away. You didn’t. And the only thing that carried you through this year’s Thanksgiving dinner is the perspective of being fucked senseless by a stranger on a dirty motel floor the following night.
For a brief moment, you’re tempted to bite, and retort that, contrary to her, you didn't spend the holiday on your own. But the truth is that you envy her the privilege, and she knows it.
Taking a deep breath that does absolutely nothing to calm your growing nerves, you stir the conversation towards another topic, finding neutral ground with her job. You’re stalling, and you’re not even good at it. You sit restless on that damn hard chair, squirming uncomfortably, sweat prickling under your armpits in the chill artificial air, eyes flicking down to your watch every other second.
“Do you have to be somewhere, or something?”
Your head shoots up. Again, you have no idea what she’s talking about, or how long she’s been rambling for. This is ridiculous. You are being ridiculous.
“Listen, Ava, I have to ask you something. A favor. I have to ask you a favor.”
Her eyes widen at your sudden change of tone but she nods. “Hit me.”
“I need you to… I need to be able to tell Adrian that I spend… that I spend Friday nights at your place. Actually, I’ve already been doing it for a while. He thinks we see each other on Friday evenings. I just… I need more time. I need the night.” You grip your shin with both hands and dig your nails in. “It really doesn’t matter anyway, he’s not home on Fridays, he plays poker and he never comes back until like, 3 or 4am, and I just need— I need to be able to come home after him. Not, like, every week. Or yes, maybe every week. Just in case. If ever. You know?”
She remains completely still and silent as you wrestle your words out of your throat. Her face hardens, her wide, green eyes strained on you. She gauges you in silence for another moment, while you rub your clammy palms on your jeans under the table. Above the table, you do your very best to maintain a casual air.
“And what exactly is it that you do, on Friday nights?”
You anticipated the question, of course you did. You swallow around the sharp stone stuck in your throat. Your eyes dart down to your espresso cup. It’s empty.
“I’m just taking a bit of time off for myself.”
More time, to commit his body and his face to your long-term memory after he’s left you, depriving you of his heat. The tiny bits of him that add up to form the formidable sum of the man he is. The locks that curl around his ears. The dip in his collarbone. The little target tattooed on his hand. You’re never sure which hand it’s on, you need more time, that’s all. And you won’t lie to her, not exactly. You set your mind on that early on. But you will not tell her the whole story.
A large shit-eating grin slowly parts her plump lips.
“Are you telling me that Richard’s favorite daughter is getting some side dick on a weekly fucking basis?”
“Jesus, Ava, why do you always have to be so crude?”
“But you are? Right? You are getting dicked down, every fucking Friday night? Right? Are you on Tinder, or something?”
“I’m not—” you start, but her excitement is louder than your exasperation. She uncrosses her legs to lean toward you, propping her elbows on the table and threading her fingers together, talking over you.
“Why didn’t you tell me? For once that something cool–”
“Because there’s nothing to tell,” you retort through clenched teeth, raising your voice. Her mouth hangs open in shock. You don’t give her time to recover. “And look, if you don’t want to do that for me, it’s fine, it’s not like anyone is going to call you to ask if I’m with you.”
She takes the blow, leaning back in her chair. “Wow. You really thought this through, didn’t you?”
You don’t answer, shame and anger burning your cheeks.
“Why you’re telling me now, then?”
“Like I said. In case.”
“I case what? In case I find myself on a Friday evening in the same place Adrian takes his cuntsluts?”
You steel yourself and stare at her.
“Something like that, yes.”
—
Two months.
Two months of lies and deception, shoving your bright secret deep down inside you, shrouded under a veil of routine and normalcy.
Nine weeks, split into six days of stretched out hours, swirling languid and excruciating, like smoke from a cigarette stub in a room without air, and one day of counting. The minutes, your steps, your breaths, your heartbeats.
Saturdays, worn-out, appeased, pleasantly aching. Sundays rising slow like a lurking threat. Mondays-Tuesdays-Wednesdays merging, dragging and useless. People talking to you, expecting words, when your mind is filled with two glistening bodies entwined in golden hues. A tremor on Thursdays, the nearing promise, and by Friday morning you’re all frayed nerves and aching want, tapping into your pent-up emptiness for focus and patience.
Friday evenings sliced up into a ritualized sequence of actions.
At 6pm, you leave your office and head toward the employees' underground parking. There are 37 steps from your desk to the two silver-doors elevators on the landing. Seventeen stories down, including 2 underground levels, and 58 steps from the elevators to your designated parking place. It is crucial that you don’t allow the pace of your steps to catch up with the racing thumps of your heart.
From downtown Tampa, it’s an hour and thirty-six minutes drive north on the 589, before you reach the motel. An hour and fifty minutes, two hours top, if the traffic’s bad. There might be faster alternative routes, but you don’t use the GPS, so you don’t know about them.
Once you’re there, you park in front of room number 7, the one with the missing brass number. You stuff your phone into your purse, which you slide under your seat.
You exit your car and walk towards the reception in short, hurried strides, cursing the tight skirt that hinders your steps and gives your posture a subdued aspect, which is probably why your father imposes the garment on his female employees.
The reception is a square room with an old humming AC unit, dark-brown fabric wallpaper, yellowing popcorn ceiling and a counter behind which sits Raul, the night clerk. Raul is a short man in his mid-60s. His dark eyes are reshaped into tiny concentric boot buttons by the thick lenses of his small, round glasses. His light brown, straight hair is styled in a bowl cut. He only wears beige Henley’s with rolled-up sleeves and indigo painter overalls. You’ve never seen his shoes.
Every week, Raul hands you the key to room number 2 without lifting his boot-button eyes from the charcoal drawing he busies himself over behind the counter, and tells you in a thick accent that “everything has already been taken care of.”
Every week, you thank Raul, grab the key from his stretched out left hand, and chance a glance over the counter to see what he’s drawing. Mountains, infallibly, week after week, the scenery only varying in shape and shades of anthracite.
And every week, as you exit the reception, you feel Raul’s boot-button eyes strained on your back through his round glasses.
When you step inside room number 2, you flick up the two toggle switches by the door, turning on the lights and the overhead fan, and you go to the bathroom to wash your hands and check your reflection in the antique black-edged mirror.
Then, you return to the room and you sit on the bed. That’s where you wait for him.
You don’t undress, you don’t lie down, you don’t undo the bed.
You know what he’ll do to your clothes. Anticipation trickles down along your spine all the way to the ripe heat between your thighs, and it travels right back up to tug up at the corners of your lips, but you press them together, lips and thighs, as you wait.
He comes in after dark, preceded by the sound of tires on gravel and that of his boots stomping on the porch and he’s here, Frankie’s here, the rush of night air from outside when he storms into the room wafting over your face.
He greets you with a hoarse voice, like he hasn’t used it all week, and he takes a couple of long strides towards the desk, where he sets down his cap. You peer at his reflection in the framed mirror when he combs his fingers through his dark curls, tense jaw, creased brow. You study his broad shoulders, the rippling muscles of his strong back, when he takes off his jacket and drapes it on the back of the chair, swift, precise gestures. It’s his own ceremonial, you let him have it, his transition into this world that you share. The confine of this room. Brown carpet, yellow curtains.
When he turns to face you, at last, it’s always with a heavy, grating sigh, a sound so rough and primitive to express his relief, his hunger, the limit of his patience. You stand up slowly, unfurling in slow motion from your sitting position on the edge of the bed, eyes on him, forever and always. His want radiates from him in colorful angry waves, like a tangible, virulent aura, black eyes boring into your skin and you welcome it as it pours out of him and creeps up to you like thick fumes.
You stand tall in the charged stillness of the motel room, offered, but not quite yet within reach, waiting for him to come and seize you.
“Take off your clothes,” he says as he comes closer, tilting up his chin. The command rumbles low and guttural from his throat, and those words are your cue. You clamber out of your statuesque stillness, twisting your ankles out of your pumps while he tugs at your blouse, as he crashes his lips onto yours.
His first kiss is voracious, unescapable, your face trapped between his cupped hands, and you’re engulfed in the taste of him, drowning in the scent of him, leather and soap and musk. And something metallic you have no name for. It’s intoxicating, you’re floating, losing both bearings and balance, like when you were thirteen, and you’d sneak to the downstairs pantry to drink your mother’s gin before dinner.
On some Friday nights, you’ve already made it back to your glass prison when you notice a tear in the seam of your shirt, or a missing button. “Take off those fucking clothes, I wanna feel your skin.”
“Yes,” you answer with parted lips, parted heart, parted life, jaunty fingers working your skirt open.
Beyond that point, neither of you talks much.
It’s his name –Frankie– falling from your lips, a long but quiet whimper when you come, a whine of pleasure-plain when he inches into you, a moan when you plead for more, a whisper when you promise you can take it all.
It’s his clipped orders, sharp and short.
Open up
Push back into it
Let me hear you
I want you to come on it
And two words, always the same since that first time in the parking lot.
Stop me.
Stop me when he pins your hands above your head or folds your arms in the small of your back, his fingers like shackles around your wrists, and he lines himself up. Stop me before his saliva drips down his tongue in fat drops between your breasts, and he straddles your chest. Stop me, when he closes a fist in your hair and slides you down along his hard length, your chest caving in under your gag reflex, beads of tears like precious shiny diamonds clinging to your lashes. Stop me when he angles your spine backwards with a sudden tug on your hair, when he bands an arm across your belly and ragdolls you to the floor to fuck you harder and deeper. Stop me when he ties your wrists to your ankles with the black zip ties that bite into your flesh.
Stop me with the flat of his hand pressing down between your shoulder blades, Stop me with his thumb teasing your tight ring, Stop me with your legs around his neck.
Those two words, a beacon guiding you through the week that precedes.
Sometimes, when you’re alone, you repeat them to yourself.
“Stop me,” you say, low and quiet, facing the mirror when you're applying makeup, staring straight into your eyes, so intently it twists your reflection.
“Stop me.” A whisper, and a slow-spreading, carnivorous smile that splits your face in two because someone, at last, wants you beyond reason.
Stop me. You will never stop him.
He fucks you twice, three times a night, before he leaves you covered in him, sated and sprawled on the rumpled bed around 2am, with a nod and a husked, “I’ll see you next Friday.” He sounds calm at last. Drained.
Once he’s gone, in the rumbling of the pickup’s engine and the screeching of the tires, your mental countdown to the next Friday is reset. You crouch into the narrow bathtub of dubious cleanliness, and ruefully wash him away in the trickle of hot water. You try to hold on to the thought of him, even more so than to the feeling of his touch. That’s what the soreness is for. It will stay with you until Monday at least.
But in your memory, his face is blurred. Only his sad angry eyes stand out, dreamlike, entrancing.
There's a conflicting distance beyond his hunger. An underlying restraint beyond his roughness. Withheld intimacy. A reluctance to give into your softest touches, when his forehead briefly rests on the plane of your chest, and you circle his neck, or carefully run your fingers through his sweat-soaked curls.
It doesn’t take a PhD in psychology to understand that if he wasn’t in here with you, he’d be somewhere else, doing something worse.
Some weeks, you go through strings of sleepless nights and restless days of anguish, your mind spiraling to the agonizing thought that you are nothing more to him than an empty and interchangeable vessel into which he can fuck his rage.
With masochistic thoroughness, you pull taut a red woolen thread to connect the clues of your insignificance.
He doesn’t name you. There are no sweet names, no terms of endearment, and he certainly never calls you Marion. The sounds he produces when he’s inside you, that’s your reward. Deep guttural grunts, and if you’re lucky enough, they resonate through your whole body when he holds you tight and close.
He never comes inside you. Where do you want it? he pants, when his hips start to fall out of pace. “Mouth,” you quickly answer, always, a greedy match for his gritty ways. And most times, he obliges. Flips you around or scoot over you and shoves his pulsating cock into your warm, wanton mouth.
But sometimes, he doesn’t. The thick pearly white ropes of his spend spurt over your back, your belly, your chest. That’s when he’s got a mind to rub it into your skin. That’s when you want to believe he might have chosen you to be here with him.
In those scarce instances, you are tempted to rely on your instinctual understanding of your relationship. Far from the toxic codependency that, according to Ava, you feed into with Adrian, what you share with Frankie is elsewhere entirely. Week after week, he presents himself before you, visibly wounded, willing to offer exactly as much as he needs to receive. The balance is perfect. No travesty, complete equality. The purest form of interaction. The most honest transaction you’ve ever taken part in.
And thus, no matter how remote he may seem on some nights, no matter how dark his eyes, how clouded his gaze, or how brutal his hold, you can’t help but feel safe.
The feeling thrums underneath your skin and finds an echo in his bloodstream. You hear it in your shared silence, when you lie side by side on the bed and stare emptily at the ceiling, chests heaving, bodies cooling off. When a shiver rakes through you, he gets up and turns off the overhead fan. Walks over to the bathroom to bring you a glass of water.
He’s given you everything you wanted and didn’t know how to ask for.
And when he looks you in the eyes, he doesn’t blink.
Stop me, he says, and what you hear is, Trust me.
He’s been quick to learn your body, and he’s greedy with your highs. He keeps you pinned down onto the threadbare linen with his mouth fastened around your cunt until your legs tremble and your throat is hoarse with your repeated high-pitched moans, the stubble on his cheeks scraping the sensitive skin of your inner thighs. Bestowing pleasure, drinking it right back.
Your body expands into new sensations, after years of a dormant existence, curled up within your outer shell into the tightest ball, the smallest possible shape. You’re spreading, stretching into your limbs, filling them in. Growing nerve endings that shoot farther along your extremities with each fiery kiss, each starving touch, each orgasm, like trees rooting in beautiful, intricate ramifications.
The wild creature nestled between your lungs has a mind of its own. You’re developing emotions unknown to you until now.
The tranquil contentment he leaves you with when he steps back into the night and closes the door behind him rapidly fades over the following days. By Sunday evening, there’s nothing left of it, and you find yourself shivering, deprived of his heat, unsettled, agitated.
Your mind wanders to her. The faceless, nameless woman he drives back to after you’ve fucked each other free of your pain.
Envy, tinged with hatred, pours ugly inside your chest, pressing against your rib cage, hindering your breathing, its heavy particles tainting your oxygen.
Does he handle her with reverence? Does he use sweet names to beckon her into his embrace? Does he spit in her mouth, does she beg him to? Does he rub his spend into her skin, or does he stuff her pussy full of his seed?
Whenever you loosen the grip on your thoughts, you’re brought back to a large reception room on the last floor of another glass prison, stilettos wounding your feet, strangers with empty smiles and cruel eyes drinking from crystal champagne glasses. The excruciating misery of having to interact with Adrian’s colleagues, laughing at golf jokes you did not understand, desperate to fit in. Fighting your survival instinct, to tether yourself and not present a blank stare to those people you were supposed to impress. As Adrian’s fiancée. As your father’s daughter.
The effort seemed worth it, then. You were in love. Or so you thought. In hindsight, you’re not certain anymore. Reinterpreting your past is a temptation you try not to succumb to. In more then one way, you still love him.
There was a hushed tremor in the faceless assembly of tuxedos and cocktail dresses, and you saw her entering the room, parting the crowd. Slender, swaying, lush honey blonde locks and incandescent hazel eyes. Junior partner at Adrian’s firm, quickly climbing the ranks, flawless makeup and oozing self-confidence, she smoked Vogue cigarettes and when your gaze returned to Adrian, everything fell into place. You knew with a chilling certainty that this formidable young woman was fucking your boyfriend.
Adrian had had a couple of flings in the past, but this one was different. He fell for her hard, a grown man in a teenage-like trance. Your blood left your face when you realized everyone else in the penthouse, and most likely in the firm, could see what you were seeing.
You decided then and there that you were never going to marry him, regardless of what he or your father would threaten you with.
But even then, what you had experienced wasn’t jealousy. You’d felt trapped, and yes, betrayed. Wounded, in what little self-esteem you possessed. Thoroughly defeated. But you did not feel jealous.
You understand it now, and every time you think of Frankie’s touch grazing the faceless woman. Every time you torture yourself into considering the nature of their bond and the depth of their attachment.
Would Frankie look at you the way Adrian looked at her? With blunt desire, unabashed, irrepressible thirst? With belonging? Would people around you know? Would they identify you as lovers?
After all, a single glance had been enough for him to take you from a bar, to a parking lot, to a motel. To make you desperate to mean something to him.
Does he miss you outside your shared time? Does he think of you? Does his mind wander to your skin in the blue morning hours, does he try to name your scent?
Deep down, you are no fool. If there’s one thing you’ve always known in this life, it’s your place.
But some Friday nights are more dangerous. They give you too much hope. Prompting you to call your sister, for instance, and risk your little secret so you can spend more time in the small room with the yellow curtains. Wrap yourself in the dirty sheets that bear his musky scent, instead of jumping into the shower. Linger into that breach of your life’s continuum. Extend the delusion.
Last Friday, he buried his face into your core and drew violent waves of release that he kissed back into you, swirling his tongue into your mouth to coat it with your taste.
His face was shiny with your slick and his body glistening with sweat in the soft yellow hues from the bedside lamps, when he got up to the desk and slid his belt out of the loops of his pants.
Your eyes grew wide, but not with fear.
He placed you face down on the bed, with your arms along your chest, and he trapped your body with the belt. You accompanied his movements, docile, curious, without apprehension. The metal buckle was cool on your feverish skin, and the leather smelled like him.
Stop me. He was hard and thick, and he fucked into you in long, thorough strokes, dragging the round tip of his cock along your clenching walls, slamming his hips into the swell of your ass. With his thumb pushing into your asshole and his hand around the belt to keep you where he needed you to lie still.
You came in seismic tides that quaked along your body in concentric ripples, from your wrung out core to the extremities of your fingers and toes. The sound that came out of your throat was unrecognizable, and perhaps it was his. Your mind tipped over into unconsciousness. When you resurfaced, his cock was rubbing in the cleft of your cheeks, his come leaking down the curve of your back, mixing in with your combined sweat, his chest pressing down onto your shoulder blades.
You felt his lips brushing against the shell of your ear, hot breath searing his choked up words into your soul.
“You’re a good girl. Say it. Say you’re a good girl.”
“I’m— I’m—“
“That’s it, say it for me.”
He was lying heavy on top of you, sinking you into the mattress, his belt buckle digging into your side. This was going to leave a mark.
“I’m a good girl.”
“You’re my good girl.”
You will never stop him.
—
Sitting on the edge of the bed, with your back straight and your ankles crossed, you wait. Eyes on the yellow curtains, darting beyond the dusty fabric into the warm December night. It’s yours. All of it. Yours until morning.
There’s the faintest hint of a bad taste sitting on the back of your tongue. Coppery, bloodlike. It comes in waves every time you remember how you twisted your baby sister’s arm into covering for you. But the night is yours. You swallow hard, force a smile. You want to be guiltless, for once.
“Polly says you’re overly secretive. That you like to live ‘hidden between the folds of life’, as she puts it. Something about culpability being a coping mechanism…”
The words, delivered flatly after you’d stubbornly diverted and defused all her questions, had cut through the most tender parts of your flesh.
“Is that her professional opinion?” you had retorted, your chin tilted up as if you were not bleeding inside.
You swallow hard again. If you close your eyes, if you concentrate, you can almost hear it. The pickup’s engine, bolting down the asphalt, bringing him into your needy arms. You can feel the heat radiating from his solid chest and seeping into your body through your palms, resting empty and upwards on your lap. Your tongue tingles with his tangy taste, a trail of goosebumps breaks across your skin, anticipating his caress.
Frankie.
The daydream that carries you through the week, carries you through that very last stretch.
Until the man himself storms into the room like bad weather. Dark, electric, a standing threat.
One look at his face and you know. It’s going to be one of these nights that make you doubt everything.
At first, the change in the script is barely perceptible. There is no gentle acclimatization, no ceremonial, no tacitly shared ritual. He doesn’t face away to let you observe his reflection in the mirror. But he looks like he hasn’t slept since last Friday. The crease in his brow is forbidding, his eyes are too bright, too clouded, circled in black and you’re dizzy with the distance you find there. Tension rolls out from his taut muscles underneath his clothes and you stand up, alert, if not entirely ready.
“Get naked,” he growls, tugging his gray t-shirt over his head, his trucker hat falling to the floor and tonight, you miss your cue.
Instead, you come closer, extending your hands towards him. You call him in a murmur, Frankie, but the wild thumping of his heart under your trembling palms cuts you short.
The light flickers in his eyes, so you hang in brave, hang onto the thread of your touch, sliding your hands up his burning chest. He stills. His gaze focuses on you for the first time since he came in. Your fingertips brush lightly along his collarbone, to the dip at the base of his neck, where they linger, underlining the hollow shape of it, skating around his neck to his nape. His brow shifts, his jaw ticks, and you draw him in for a kiss.
He jolts when your lips meet his. His hands grip your hips, rough and desperate. This is the part where you melt into him, surrender to his touch, but tonight the balance is tipped off. He licks into your mouth with a pained, muffled whimper, and your eyes remain open.
You’re powerless, powerless to get to him and bring him back to you from wherever the hell he may be. And his distance settles between your two bodies, an invisible partition. It stands erect and opaque, projecting its shadow over you when he lies you down on the synthetic quilt and dives between your hips. His ministrations are detached, performative, mechanical. There’s no contained urgency in his handling of you. Empty touches, empty silence, and you orgasm weakly, the sensation floating on the surface of you.
You can sense him, trapped behind his black eyes and this damn crease that splits his face above them, only you can’t reach him. He won’t let you. For every one of your attempts at a caress, at tenderness, is rejected by a shrug, a push of his hand, a shake of his head.
Sweat breaks on his forehead and dampens his curls as he becomes restless, showing none of the familiar signs of the relief he finds in your release, when he hums softly into you, lapping at your entrance to capture what you offer him, what he drew from you. Impatience and desperation roughen his grip on you. He shoves you to the head of the bed and you scramble, sliding on the slippery quilt, curled on your side, until you’re caged between his rigid body and the headboard.
There’s no warning, no Stop me, when he lines himself up with a stifled groan. You bury your face into the pillow and bite down on it to muffle the pain when he splits you open. He starts rutting into you with unrestrained strength, forcing through the vice grip of your tight cunt around his hard length. You try to relax into it. That’s all you ever want, for him to fill you up, to be inside you and around you, but that’s the thing: he’s not touching you. Not really.
Instead of gripping the curve of your hips, or kneading your breast, or lying between your shoulder blades, his hands are clenched on the headboard, white knuckled. His bent knee doesn’t quite touch your folded legs, his hips don’t even slap against the swell of your cheeks.
“Frankie,” you try, but your voice comes out thin as a ripping thread. It’s immediately drowned under the sounds filling the room, the creaking of the bed, his strained breathing.
“Frankie,” you call again, louder this time, reaching to the side to grab his thigh.
He jerks at the contact, sliding out of you with a hiss like you just burned him with a red-hot iron. You grab the side of the headboard to haul yourself up. Behind you, you feel him falling back on his knees. For a few seconds, you can’t bring yourself to move. You remain hunched over, fingers wrapped so tightly on the hardboard, your nails digging into the cheap, tender wood.
“Fuck,” he breathes out, and you turn around to face him.
Your heart sinks and chatters at the sight of him, of his glassy, pleading eyes that won’t meet yours. His chest heaves with exertion, and the weight of something else. He grazes a palm over his face, tilting his head down.
“I hurt you. I fucking hurt you, I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Tonight, this is it. These words are your cue.
“No,” you start, scooting closer to him as he shakes his head, exhausted, isolated. The gesture no longer carries the warning it did as he was about to succumb. It’s a measure of his failure, of the depth of his defeat, and it chills you to the bones.
“No,” you repeat, stronger, and you offer him the only lifeline you know.
Closing the physical distance, you straddle his lap and wrap your arms around his shoulders. When his body stiffens, you harden your hold.
“Frankie… Frankie…” you coo, again and again, like his name holds the solution, and all of your devotion. You say it as you press your forehead to his, as you rub your cheek against his stubble, as you nuzzle the sharp edge of his nose, and trace his plush lips with yours.
Until his shoulders sag under your embrace, until you feel the choked up breath that quakes his chest, you keep repeating his name. A few minutes, or an infinity of seconds, time doesn’t matter anymore. The night is yours, your skins are glued together in the soft yellow light.
His arms circle your waist, hesitant at first, but you encourage him, raking your fingers through his hair, twining them into his soft curls. He lets you, he gives in, tucking his face in the crook of your neck. He inhales you there, raising the soft hair on your nape. His voice is broken when he speaks.
“I’m not–”
“Frankie don’t, please don’t,” you cut in.
You know the words that are piling bitter and desperate on his tongue, know them on an instinctual level. You feel them swirling, black and hopeless inside his head, you’ve known them from the very beginning, recognized them in the sadness of his angry stare. And you won’t let him pronounce them inside this room you share, you won’t let him give them any kind of substantiality. Not between your arms, not against your skin.
“I’m not hurt,” you begin, pulling back to see his face, to look into his eyes and sink your words of hope and faith into him, past the barrier of remorse and regret, “I want everything you–” but his brow furrows deeper as he clenches his eyes shut, and you trail off.
Panic briefly floods your brain. You’re acutely aware of your shortcomings and limitations, of all the things you’ve never been taught growing up. How to translate feelings into words, how to express compassion, how to care for others. How to be heard.
You take a deep, shaky breath, your breasts pushing into his chest.
“Look at me, Frankie baby. Look at me. Let me–”
Let me in. Let me be yours. Let me mean something.
Your plea dies on your tongue when his eyes shoot open. They shine with unshed tears, pierced by a ray of light from the bedside table, and for the first time, you see that they’re not black. They were never black. His eyes are brown, a deep, rich, precious mahogany brown. The color paints your vision, it flows into your bloodstream and courses along your veins. It spreads into your heart, gets tangled in your soul. Around you, the whole world disappears, along with everyone in it. There is only him, his mahogany eyes brimming with tears, and the feeling of his hot, damp skin against yours.
His arms wrap tighter around your back, his warmth seeps into your bones. His hands find purchase on your curves, drawing you closer.
“I want you so badly to be real,” he whispers, quiet and pained, like he can’t ask you this much, but you know that, for him, you’re willing to be.
“I’m so sorry,” he says again.
Swallowing down the tremor in your throat, you give him a tender smile, tinted with gratitude, colored with praise. You cup his face, fingernails scratching at the heart-shaped patch on his jawline. His eyes flicker down to your lips, and you give him what he needs, leaning in to press them to his.
Underneath you, his length throbs with unreleased hunger, and you sway your hips over it. He moans against your lips, the vibration trails down to your core like hot, liquid amber. His tongue peaks out, and you open up for him, like you always have, like you always will. A grating sound comes out of his throat, an echo of your gratitude, a mirror of your pain, a reflection of your loneliness.
He breaks the kiss to lift you up gently, helping you find friction with his cock sliding between your folds, where it pulsates hard and thick against your clit. Your limbs turn to molasses, toffee soft and sticky, but your hips lock into a slow, languid rhythm, slick pooling down on him as you stroke him between your two bodies. His right hand skates up flat along your spine, to settle on your nape.
He draws you in closer, closer than you’ve ever been. His heart beats inside your chest, enveloping the purring wild creature you still can’t name or tame.
“Make us come, baby.”
A dry sob undulates up to your throat. Your eyes fill with hot tears, they spill against his temple. Mahogany explodes inside your brain. The night is yours.
“Yes, Frankie.”
“Make us come together.”
****
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#tonight you belong to me#happy frankie friday#tybtm#Francisco Catfish Morales#frankie morales#the pilot™️#frankie morales x fem!reader#frankie morales x you#frankie morales x ofc#frankie morales / fem!reader#frankie morales / you#frankie morales / ofc#triple frontier fic#triple frontier#pedro pascal#pedro pascal character fic#frankie friday#will miller#benny miller#santiago pope garcia#william ironhead miller#triple frontier fanfiction
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Want You Back | ateez x reader
Pairing: werewolf!ot8!ateez x werewolf!reader
Genre: fluff mostly, romance, poly, a little angst?
Warnings for this chapter: none
Word Count: 2702 words
a/n: hello!! so I was able to edit a lot today. :') I'm hoping to have the next chapter up by Sunday! Let me know what you think about this chapter, I would love to hear your thoughts on this one! Happy reading! <3
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Chapter 4
You felt off all day.
It was something you couldn’t explain. Out of nowhere that morning, you woke up with a slight headache and a sudden uneasy feeling that refused to go away until late in the afternoon. It was Friday, and you decided to close early due to your bizarre state. You planned a night-in with some warm tea, hearty soup and a marathon of a new series you started.
Currently, while finishing up cleaning the tables and organising the chairs, you paid no attention to anything and swayed mindlessly to the soft music in your headphones with the fresh scent of lavender filling the room which you were using to wipe the tables down. Your friends had already left for the evening and the skyline of Seoul provided a composed and serene atmosphere, one which you were very grateful for at this time.
You pondered the cause for your sudden headache and a spike in anxiety. Werewolves rarely got sick, the main reason may be because of exhaustion, but as far as you could recall, you weren’t over-exerting or pushing yourself too hard. While the beginning of your journey was far from effortless, you paced yourself when it came to facing challenges. Because you knew if you overworked yourself, especially since you were still recovering at the time, Jisung wouldn’t hesitate to tell Chan and Minho. You could handle Chan but you were afraid of an angry Minho.
As you continued to lose yourself in your thoughts and music, you didn't hear the bell of your cafe ring. However, you felt your emotions suddenly shift and there was a rapid electric rush through your body. Following it was a pull you knew all too well.
It couldn’t be?
You spun around and halted at the figure in front of you. He was still slightly dripping wet, his hair damp and his clothes stuck to him but his face glowed beautifully. His eyes sparkled and he panted with a slight smile beginning to form as he looked at you in awe and admiration.
Song Mingi, your soulmate, and one of the loves of your life stood in front of you in the flesh. It had been six months since you last saw him and the last time you saw him was during the worst times of your life, one that took a lot of therapy to start unpacking. Luckily, Chan knew someone who helped you immensely in deconstructing all the walls you had built.
You thought a lot about this moment, coming face to face with one of your soulmates and unravelling all the feelings and emotions that had been buried inside you for so long. There were times when you wracked your brain with so many different scenarios, playing out what you would say, how you would act and your responses when they responded. You hoped to prepare yourself for the imminent confrontation but truthfully, you were far from well-prepared.
As Mingi approached you cautiously, you were stumped. So many questions began to flood your mind. What are you supposed to do? Should you be aloof and standoffish? Should you start yelling? Should you run away, let Chan handle it and never look back?
The main question you had was, did you harbour any hate towards Mingi? Hate was a very strong word and you couldn’t begin to fathom hating one of your mates. Yes, you were hurt, angry and disappointed in them but part of you didn’t want to throw in the towel just yet. If there was any possibility for reconciliation, you were willing to try, albeit you wouldn’t go easy on them.
Something you learnt in therapy was that relationships are a work in progress. It’ll never be perfect like you were told growing up and it didn’t necessarily have to be set in stone with you not having a choice about it. You did in fact have a choice, and while you still believed fate had a role in bringing people together, a real relationship requires showing up, learning from mistakes, taking accountability and trying again if both parties truly care for each other. If not, you knew you had to face the harsh reality of walking away even if it broke you.
You wanted to make it work with your soulmates, and Mingi was the one out of your eight mates who you were closest to after Hongjoong. He was the second one you had bonded with and spent a lot of time together before meeting everyone else. You would describe him as your tall alpha with a soft heart and sweet personality. He wore his heart on his sleeve, he’s a tenderheart and big softie who would seek you out to share his snacks with because he didn't like to eat alone. He struggled with his self-esteem because being the middle child had him being forgotten a lot. You were there along with the boys to give him comfort and show him his worth. Song Mingi is the tenderest, sweetest and softest person out of the entire pack.
"Mingi..." you murmured.
"Y-Y/N..." his voice broke out in a raspy tone.
The moment he spoke snapped you out of your daze. You just wanted to hug him, embrace him and feel his warmth again. As your finger grazed his hand, he pulled you into a bone-crushing hug, stroking your hair and kissing the top of your head repeatedly.
"It's you! It's really you!" He cried.
That’s all it took for you to break your facade and you broke down in his embrace, sniffles and sobs racking your body. Mingi just pulled you closer.
"Don't cry, don't cry angel. I know I have a lot to apologise for. I-I can't even b-begin to explain it. There are no e-excuses for my actions. I'll make it up to y-you. No matter what, I won't ever hurt you like that again."
You felt the sincerity in his words. You knew he was being sincerely honest. You weren't ready to forgive him - you both still had to have a proper conversation about everything. But for now, you wanted to have this moment with him, after so long you finally had your Mingi again.
It took a while to peel Mingi off you because he kept refusing. He was taller than you and much stronger so it took a lot of convincing that you weren’t going to vanish into thin air once he let you go. He wouldn't even sit if you didn't. When you placed him in a chair and moved away to give him a blanket, some tea and maybe a change of clothes, he bolted upright and grabbed your hand, holding onto it for dear life.
Your apartment was right above the café. You had a few oversized jerseys in your closet as you were currently experimenting with your style that could fit him but it seemed to be futile on retrieving anything.
Mingi refused to part with you so instead he followed you foot to foot behind the counter as you pulled out one of the blankets from under the counter that you had for safekeeping for the colder days. He stood close by as you made him some tea.
Suddenly, your phone went off signalling a message. Mingi was confused by the sound and intrigued by the device you pulled out of your pocket. As you quickly checked to see who it was, Mingi quickly snatched it from you to see what it was.
"Hey—Mingi!"
Your shouts went unanswered as Mingi stared at the screen. He was confused by the interface. Who is Jisung? Somehow he exited out of that app and managed to click on Instagram. Your profile was the first page when he opened the app and his brows pinched in even more confusion.
"Is that you?" he asked
You tried to get your phone back so you could explain things to him but Mingi is taller than you.
He pressed on the picture with you and Chan. It was a harmless picture that was taken during Chan’s birthday party with the two of you posing with big smiles as you both leaned against the kitchen counter watching Seungmin and Hyunjin fight over something. Your caption was simple: Happy birthday to my best friend. However, Mingi’s instincts kicked in seeing the two of you standing in close proximity. He felt a low growl wanting to erupt from his throat, his protective senses coming in. But he noticed your smile. You hadn't smiled like that in a long time. It was only with them and the last time was probably when…he couldn’t remember the last time.
You were able to grab back your phone after accidentally stepping on his foot.
“Ow!” he cried.
“Finally.” you sighed.
"Who is that?" You could hear the pain that was evident in his voice. Even if you did want to be cold towards him, you didn’t have the heart to. It was difficult to remain aloof.
"He's my friend," you answered, "His name is Chan and he was the one who found me in the lake and brought me back with him."
"The lake? You came through the lake?”
You nodded, “Yeah, I don’t know how, all I remember is jumping in and then everything went dark. Then next thing I knew I was here.”
“That's why we couldn't find you. You were in this realm all the time?"
You hummed and nodded.
"Yeah, I…I didn't want to come home…” you stuttered, “I-I couldn't..." you trailed off.
Truth be told, you weren’t 100% certain what to expect from Mingi. There was so much heaviness weighing on your shoulders and in the air, that you couldn’t read what was going through Mingi’s mind or predict his next move.
Was he going to snap at you, ridicule you or berate you?
Mingi felt your uncertainty as the spark of your bond started to drop and he brought you into an immediate hug.
"I can't blame you,” he started, “We left you with a lot of broken promises, we didn't take care of you like we are supposed to. It hurts to hear that you didn’t want to come back to us but…you were also hurting a lot more than we were."
You didn’t realise the tears cascading down your face. For so long, you just wanted to be heard, understood and comforted.
"Mingi, we have to talk about all that…”
“Let’s talk now then. At least cover some bases?”
You agreed and brought the tea to a table in the far corner away from the window. You sat opposite Mingi with great effort as he was still uneasy not being able to feel your touch, you saw the way he never took his eyes off you.
You cleared your throat holding the teacup securely in your hand.
“First of all, I’m really, really, really, really sorry for not realising sooner the damage we were doing to you. I know an apology isn’t even enough. The fact that it had to take you being separated from us, for us to recognise the severity is inexcusable.” he began.
You listened intently, anxious at what he had to say.
“When I discovered how damaged our bond became, it felt like an entire collapse of my world. I don’t even know how to explain it, it was as if the one thing that kept me going was stripped away and I was operating on autopilot with no clear way ahead,” he paused, “My birthday wasn’t the same. It wasn’t a celebration, there was more grief than anything. I always told you how much you meant to me and you going missing showed me just how important you are to me Y/N. You’re my entire world and I can’t bear the thought of living without you. I hate it and I don’t want to live like that. I should have noticed my treatment towards you, I should have told the boys, I should have supported you and been there for you. I’m so sorry for failing you.”
“Mingi…”
“Hit me, yell at me, tell me as it is. Don’t hold back Y/N but please…don’t give up on me. Please give me a chance to make it up to you.”
“I…I appreciate your honesty Mingi. You seem to be sincere. I thought I would never be understood. It felt like I was drowning in a sea of my feelings. Everyday I prayed one of you would wrap your arms around me and end the nightmare I was living in. All my life…I was taught how to be a perfect mate and to consider your mate as your whole world, but when your mate forgets you, your world falls apart and you’re left stranded in a dark void with no real direction to follow. When I was running from those rogues, it came to my mind that you all were on the other side of town with Lila…”
Mingi grimaced at that realisation. You were in danger and they were so far away from you. He held your hands that were still wrapped around the teacup, rubbing soothing circles to comfort and help you gather your thoughts.
“I always thought it was my fault,” you cried, “I wanted to call out for you through the bond but I couldn’t even focus. I felt like a failure, I thought I failed at being a Luna, and so many questions plagued my mind every day and night. What does Lila have that I don’t? Why am I always a second choice? Why does Mrs Kim hate me? What’s wrong with me?”
Your voice broke as you spoke. Mingi wanted to kick himself for doing this to you. He finally saw the way you had been broken. You questioned your self worth, they made you question your worthiness. You didn’t know how you were so important, you were a precious gem to him, you were priceless.
“Nothing’s wrong you angel, if anything, something is clearly wrong with the rest of us because we’re plain idiots for making you think you’re unworthy. You deserved to be loved, adored and respected.” he answered.
“It hurts Mingi. All I ever wanted was to be someone's favourite person growing up. I wanted to be the one, you could come to for anything. I wanted to help in any way I could. I just wanted to be loved.”
“And you are loved, my love. I love you so deeply and truly, I really do. I will never let you feel that way again. As long as I live, you’d be showered unconditionally with love and respect.”
You closed your eyes and regulated your breathing to compose yourself.
“I’m willing to work things out Mingi. But you should know, I’m not sure if I trust you right now. So many thoughts come in, what if it happens again? What if -”
“It won’t. It will never happen again, angel. I know that seems like an empty promise. But it isn't! I promise you, I will make you trust me again.”
You looked at Mingi with some uncertainty. You never considered love would be like this, you always thought it would be easy. You didn’t know what was going to happen next but at least for now, this was a start.
“Tiny steps. Let’s take tiny steps then. I’ll introduce you to Chan tomorrow, he’ll help you get in contact with the others. Let them know you’re safe.”
Even after all the hurt they gave you, Mingi was in awe at the way you cared so deeply for them.
“Let’s head upstairs,” you said tiredly.
As you both made your way to the apartment, Mingi thought about everything. It pained him deeply to know the hurt they caused you. He made a silent promise to himself that he’ll be better for you.
That night, he couldn’t sleep. You’re the best thing that ever happened to him and you deserve unconditional and unwavering love. In no way, shape or form were you ever a second choice. You could never be second - you were and will always be first.
He’ll make things right again. He promised.
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Tag list: @eastleighsblog , @sehun096rainbow
#ateez x reader#ot8 ateez x reader#poly ateez x reader#poly!ateez#ateez series#ateez fluff#ateez fanfic
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Sneaking Eddie over and making him stay quiet because your family is downstairs 😩
Ooh, and loudly playing Black Sabbath so your family thinks you're just listening to music but you're actually going down on the one guy they told you to stay away from
The hold this guy has on me is ASTRONOMICAL 😭
NO I LOVE THIS I LOVE THIS you rule bestie thank you for this
"Rapunzel, Rapunzel" (Eddie x Fem!Reader)
"Oh, you can absolutely have boys over." Your father had said cheerfully. Your eyebrows went up. He fluffed his newspaper. "...When you have a place of your own."
So going forward that was the rule. Stay straight-laced, even after you graduated: no boys, no booze, no drugs, no sneaking out. It was overbearing. You weren't blind. You had just kind of given in and accepted your life was really only going to get interesting when you moved out.
That was, until you met Munson.
You shut your bedroom door, locking it, and crank the speakers up until Ozzy is scream-singing about Lady Evil loud enough to drown out the television downstairs and your mother's phone call two doors down.
Outside your window, in the twilight semidarkness, a tall figure scrambles over your yard fence, falling into a rosebush. You snicker: it rights itself, skirting the kitchen window light with all the grace and tact of a rock-and-roll peacock.
Eddie presses his mouth to your windowpane, puffing his cheeks like a pufferfish, shit-eating giddy grin on his face when you pull an exasperated expression and haul the latch open.
He tumbles onto your bed with a grunt and you shush him, smacking his shoulder a few times.
Eddie just catches your wrist, grip going to your forearm, and drags you on top of him. The electric guitar picks up its wild, note-bending solo and you sink into his heat, broad chest and sturdy hips under you, mouth hot and wet. He tastes like skunky weed and gas station Lil Debbie's cakes.
He is your Dionysus, and he revels in the fact. It tickles him pink. He tries to give you everything in the world.
Even now, he's pulling a pocket-sized bottle of Hendrick's gin out of his coat pocket and pressing it into your palm, pecking you in the cheek with a smile, and rolling off the bed to tuck your desk chair against your door handle. Bobbing his head a few times to your choice of music, watching your take an uncut gulp.
"I thought your folks wouldn't let you play this stuff." He says softly, barely audible over the next track of thrashing drums and low bass.
The burn of booze is good: it feels real, more real than the stuffy Sunday family dinners and framed holiday photos. "They didn't, at first. But I guess the whole 'giving me no adult freedoms' really guilted them into letting me have this one thing."
He put a hand to his chest, moseying over and dropping down onto your mattress hard enough to nearly send you flying. "They'd flip if they learned who gave you the mixtape. Like, can you imagine your mom going all-" He pulls a monstrous face, making a loud gagging, aghast noise. It threatens to cut over the guitar.
You gasp-laugh and clap hands over his mouth, dragging him close to you. "Shut up!" You hiss, emphasis ruined by a smile.
His dark brown eyes glitter. "Make me, princess." He says, muffled through your fingers.
Then you're on him, like every Friday night. Sitting on his lap and lazily making out with him, his back against your wall still painted the same baby periwinkle from youth. In between long, slow, heated kisses you exchange drags on the blunt under the window. The smoke disappears up into the starry sky. Ozzy continues to rage.
He looks good like this, you decide. Red-cheeked under your weight, hands settled comfortably on your thighs, lips shiny and swollen from kissing. Just looking completely blissed out and fucking enchanted to even be here.
The tips of your fingers graze over the sparse start of his happy trail, visible over his heavy belt and top of his jeans. He sucks in a soft breath.
"Killing me over here, babe." He mutters, lips on yours, leaving wet spots down your chin, your neck. Not greedy, or aggressive. More his way of begging, than anything.
"Have you been naughty or nice this week, Munson?" You tease.
A slow, stupid smile. "Oh, so nice. The nicest. Helping old ladies, picking up litter and shit."
"Mm. You know what they say. Good boys get treats."
When you nose at his cock, half-hard and out of his jeans, his head hits the wall with a clunk. Your lips, your tongue, never fail to render him nonfunctional. He's murmuring words of praise and going completely stupid, eyes wide and mouth hanging open.
And when he cums it's almost tender, how much he thanks you for it. How he buckles over on himself, all lithe limbs and long hair and a low, guttural moan punched from his chest.
A loud, insistent knock on the door. "Hon? You doin' alright in there? You sick?" Your dad's voice says through the wood. The knob rattles.
You freeze on the bed between Eddie's knees, smelling like sweat and weed and booze. "...Yeah. Uh, cramps! Bad period cramps, so bad." It drives him away insanely fast. When you look back, Eddie is wetting his lips with his tongue and silently laughing, shoulders shaking.
"What is so funny?" You hiss admonishingly. His silent laughs have devolved into cackles he smothers in a fist.
"Oh my god," Eddie chuckles, "He would have died on the spot if he came in here. Like, 'Excuse me, daughter, can you finish smoking weed and blowing the freak so you can put the dishes away'?"
"You are incorrigible." You scold him, going in for another kiss. He leans into it, deep and warm and salty.
Suddenly your world tilts and your head hits the mess of pillows. Eddie's already sneaking fingertips under your hemline. "Haven't you heard the neighbors?" He says sagely. "I'm a public menace."
With that he's pulling your bottoms off and rubbing hands up up, up, up your bare thighs until they meet-
"Oh. Oh, Eddie."
#On god i am down bad for this man#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#stranger things imagine#stranger things s4#my writing#minors dont look
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Fuck it Friday
I have a goal to end I want to dance with you tonight (and for the rest of my life) till Saturday and post so more from it
“Make love to me, Tommy.”
The prettiest smile on Tommy’s face, makes Buck smile too. Careful hands grab his hips again tonight, with less hot burning lust, yet not less passion and with way more tenderness, almost not touching his naked skin above the pants, not trying to claim his skin, but trying to make him feel the desire and care from Tommy, which Buck knows boils in man’s blood. He feels it all too. Both his and Tommy’s. He hopes the man feels his too.
The hands move to his thighs, nudging him to let Tommy pull him up, moving Buck's legs so that they are around his waist. Tommy strokes his legs gently and Buck is covered in goosebumps at how good it feels even when there is a thin layer of sweatpants between Tommy's big and warm hands and his skin.
They kiss all the way to Tommy’s bedroom, and Buck is really happy it’s not a big house, with a bedroom close to the living room, without any stairs they need to get over to make it to bed.
and if you want some angst for my new bucktommy mpreg fic I started today, go under cut(the scene is godfather Eddie and baby Sky, but bucktommy mentioned and implied) (@houseofevanbuckley you was interesting so tagging you)
“Hey, sweetheart, it’s your godfather Eddie,” Eddie smiles, looking into the baby blue eyes. He knows they will get only darker and brighter like her daddies’. He is just interested if her eyes will be like Buck’s electric blue, or Tommy’s intense steel blue. Buck once read a long lecture about how he and his boyfriends had different blue eyes and his daughter better take as much from him as she could because he's the one pregnant and he would ground her if she’s Tommy’s mini copy.
Eddie chuckles from the thought, with wet eyes, “he was joking, by the way, sweetheart. Your daddy will never make you do anything you don’t want to. And will never punish you for something that just can't be your fault. He loves you anyway. The way you are. And no matter what your eyes’ color is gonna be anyway it will be perfect like you already are. Perfect little princess .”
He strokes little round cheek, leaving a light kiss there, trying hard not to cry. He should be stronger for his friends, for Tommy, for Sky, for Buck. He should be the rock of the family right now. Because Tommy, Sky and Buck need him. Buck was protector of him and Chris for a lot of time, it’s Eddie’s time to be protector of Buck’s family. Be the best godfather ever possible.
“I know we should have met not like that,” Eddie whispers through a lump in the throat, “your daddy and papa should have introduced you to me officially, letting me hold you after they will take you together from the hospital. But, unfortunately, your daddy's dumb luck struck again, but,” Eddie lets the most beautiful baby girl clutch his finger in a firm grip. He grins at this, kissing her hand like a true princess, “your daddy is a fighter. The strongest man I know. He will fight to get back to you and your papa. And till then I will be here to make sure your papa takes care of himself. Because I know he will take the best care of you. But not himself.”
tagged by @tizniz @diazsdimples @bi-buckrights 💙
Tagging @wikiangela @watchyourbuck @rainbow-nerdss @rogerzsteven @elvensorceress @ebdaydreamer @eddiebabygirldiaz @evanbi-ckley @the-likesofus @thewolvesof1998 @theotherbuckley @underwaterninja13 @pirrusstuff @aspecbuddie @saybiwithme @spaceprincessem @spotsandsocks @devirnis @dangerpronebuddie @daffi-990 @fortheloveofbuddie @honestlydarkprincess @hippolotamus @jesuisici33 @cal-daisies-and-briars @bibuckbuckley @bigfootsmom @bewilderedbuckley @bekkachaos @neverevan @monsterrae1 and anyone who wants to
#fic: I want to dance with you tonight (and for the rest of my life)#bucktommy mpreg wip#evan buckley#911#evan buck buckley#911 abc#bucktommy#tuck#tevan#kinkley#my wips
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