#grow old together and decide eh. that’s enough. let’s try something new. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

anyoneseenadam · 3 years

Text

Healing

pairing: Azriel x reader (acotar)

warnings: TW - sexual assault, rape, objectification and implications of abuse, smut, consensual sex, azriel is a sweetie and rhys is a good bestie

a/n: first of all PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!!! i’m really proud of this fic but I don’t want to trigger or upset anyone, that being said it isn’t too graphic but still. Anyway I hope u enjoy, this took me three days lmao <333

based on: this and this

—————————————————————————-

You had your first less than savoury encounter with men when you had barely turned nine. Your body still hadn’t finished forming, but you were growing, and your body was gaining some semblance of shape as you did. It wasn’t much – just a whistle from across the street – but for a second your heart seized up with fear, and in the next you almost felt giddy. A man thought you were beautiful.

You felt like a princess that day – felt the way you had when the boy from your class had kissed your cheek, still too young to process the intentions behind that single whistle. But you didn’t care – someone wanted you.

When you got your first period at twelve – even more changed. Your body felt new, and you didn’t feel comfortable in the changes. Your old clothes didn’t fit and now your mother forced you into tighter corsets for those long, long dinners you had to attend. Your parents were respected Fae in the Hewn City – nobles who liked to drink and smoke and throw extravagant balls. And with your new body you could no longer simply hide in the corner or climb through secret passages with your friends – muddying your dresses.

Now you had to smile when men hugged you slightly too long, laugh when they commented on how much you had grown up, sit pretty and pristine with an old mans hand loitering to close to your rear for hours as you watched your parents drink away their troubles.

By the time you were fifteen you were used to the constant attention, your beauty not uncommon where you lived but still doted on often. Unaware of their desire for your youth, your naivety. The women never offering a helping hand but instead glaring down high skewed noses as their husbands slurred into your ears – still in shock that a pretty, young thing like you was all alone at this party.

When you were sixteen you decided to change that – kissing an alright looking boy at a party and telling him exactly what he wanted to hear so he would kiss you back. He stayed when you didn’t protest as he pulled you to the bathroom and pushed you to your knees. And for this small request, the greasy hands on your body at balls and dinners or any other social gathering halved – now only the truly self-righteous felt they could touch you still.

The only problem was you truly did love the boy you had chosen. He had faults yes, but he was kind – he brought you flowers and kissed your cheek. But he also spoke over you, forced you into silence and took what he wanted. And he always wanted the same thing.

If anything it was his father’s fault. The military commander never leaving room for debate when he argues with his wife – and sons only become what they see in their fathers.

Your father had left with a younger woman a few months after your fourteenth birthday, and you hadn’t seen him since – only heard stories of him galivanting around the autumn court from your classmates. You could see the distaste your mum held you in as she realised she would have to stick around to look after you, not yet old enough to be married. Then Amarantha had taken hold of the country and that possibility had been thrown out the window anyway.

Weirdly enough not that much changed in your life when she took power, the only major difference was that now you had to block out screams before going to sleep and even they had become like white noise. You still drank with your friends on Friday nights, went out with your boyfriend on Saturdays and slept the pain away on Sundays. Your weekdays consisted of school, dinners, balls and whatever more your mother could throw together to appease the high queen.

That and the high lord of the night court had started making appearances at the events your mother threw. He was a cruel man standing so proudly at the queen’s side – but you saw something flickering in his eyes whenever people spoke, complimenting his power and rule. You saw what you felt as you laughed at compliments and lingering touches – you saw pain, but more importantly you saw anger. And right now you could use anger.

During one ball you watched him leave, taking an odd route – not the one that would help him escape the loud music but instead a long winding corridor leading to a series of smaller rooms. Without thought you peeled away from your company, muttering excuses and went after him – grabbing a bottle of wine as you did.

You found him reclining in an empty room and knocked on the door gently. He cracked open an eye – slow like a cat – and beckoned you in. You moved to perch next to him, leaning back with a straight back and letting your head loll slightly as you took a swig of the dark red wine, before passing him the bottle.

“You looked like you could use a drink,” you smiled, eyes focused on his sharp jaw as he held the bottle to his mouth with a laugh.

“One way of putting it,” he smiled. The two of you sat in silence for several minutes as you took in his beauty, his looks plus mannerisms all made him seem like a wild cat - a panther trapped underground.

“Why are you here?” he finally asked, and you raised a hand to trace that sharp jaw. But instead of devouring you as any lesser man would’ve, he brushed your hand away and held it tightly in his larger one. “That’s not gonna happen, you’re what sixteen?”

“Almost seventeen,” you said, cheekily. He laughed but shook his head, squeezing your hand before releasing it.

“You’re still a child,” he said matter-of-factly, and you scoffed, stealing your wine back to drink again.

“Yeah well that’s usually a selling point,” your voice was sad, but you didn’t dare let your eyes stray from his – refusing to show fear, “And you’re so nice to me, I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

He laughed as you pouted, “You practice this in the mirror or something?”

“Usually works in three seconds,” you confess, and he whistles under his breath, “Men are rather easy to manipulate when they’ve been trying to get into your skirts since your first bleed.”

“And you wonder why I’m not about to take advantage of you,” he laughed, and you smiled – a real smile, or real enough. “Plus I don’t think your little boyfriend would be pleased.”

“Eh, he’s never pleased - I don’t think this could make him worse.” Rhysand took the wine back and frowned.

“Does he hurt you?” his voice was sincere but the laugh you let out was not.

“Don’t all men,” he swore, and you laughed again, “Yet you foil my plan to make you fall in love with me and whisk me away to the moon.”

He laughed, but his eyes darkened with deep sadness you were sure you would never understand, “I think we both no that even I could not do that, but I might be able to crush your fly.”

“Little boyfriend? Fly? You really don’t like him do you?” you laughed, head lighter already.

“I don’t like any man who thinks they can hurt women,” he said, frowning when he realised through your passing back and forth there was no wine left.

“Shit that took us like five minutes,” you complained, and he laughed, waving his hand lightly as several more bottles appeared before you – you grinned as you grabbed another.

“So any friends with weaker moral backbones that I could marry?” you asked with a laugh, and he smiled at you.

“I’m sure I could find someone,” he leaned back again. You smiled – finally happy that one night might pass in the company of a decent man.

Soon, you’d find it would be more than one night, a close friendship quickly blossoming between you and the high lord. All your friends were convinced you were sleeping together but true to his word he didn’t touch you, and by the time you surpassed the age of eighteen you didn’t want him to. But that didn’t stop other men.

After a particularly bad argument with your boyfriend that had left you with a handprint on your left cheek you had broken up with him – sending away his apologies and flowers, smart enough to see he didn’t hold the mental capacity to change.

Plus you were beautiful and young, you could certainly do better. And you soon did – rich men who liked to buy you jewellery, and fine clothes, men who enjoyed literature and art and spending time with you.

And at the start of each relationship, for a few blissful seconds you would believe in their pure intentions. But then a hand would drift from your lower back to your ass, or the gentle kiss that followed a necklace would shift from your mouth to your breasts. Not one of them wanted to wait until you were comfortable, so you made yourself comfortable.

You pictured pretty, strong men were holding you down and making you feel something, slipping your own hand between your legs and they penetrated you to try and replicate what you were sure a lover’s touch must feel like. And as always – after the first time- they stopped asking for permission, you were their toy, so you no longer had choice over that part of yourself.

But through nice guys and bad boys, for fifty years you had Rhysand who was a friend – who treated you with respect and finally let you talk, let you breathe.

In the end he was the one who found you, in the backroom of a party – drunk and undressed. You were weeping, curled in a ball with your attackers’ seed dripping out of you, bruises decorating your bare skin. When he turned you over with his comforting hands he found your nose dripping red and the vibrant lipstick you wore smudged.

He helped you sit up and redress, took you home and stood outside the bathroom while you scrubbed yourself clean in scalding water – still unsteady on your feet. You changed into a nightgown silently and neither of you said a word when you crawled into bed next to each other, crying in your best friends’ arms as he tried to console you.

When you woke up, he was gone with just a scribbled message about Amarantha and the name of a healer he trusted. But you just placed it back down, turning onto your back and staring at the ceiling as hot tears ran into your hairline.

You barely ate anything for the days following your assault – fighting with your mother more when you rarely saw her and subsequently breaking it off with your current boyfriend. You had thrown his hands off you when he tried to touch you and the screaming match that followed ended your relationship.

Your bond with Rhysand grew only closer however as you spent nights drinking in candlelight, talking about anything and everything until you were sure he knew every inch of your soul and you his.

“You know what I’m going to do as soon as she’s gone,” you whispered one night as you stared at the twinkling lights you had hung on your bedroom roof to imitate stars.

“What?” Rhys had asked, never letting his eyes leave the ‘stars’ which he had laughed at and then proceeded to rearrange to make them more accurate. To which you threw a pillow at his head.

“Find a hill, or a pier, or a large pit or anything and scream into it until my throat bleeds.” You said and he laughed, the bed beneath you rumbling.

“Consider me on board.” He joked as you sat up to perch at your vanity – smudging the sharp eyeliner you wore with a small brush and applying some red lipstick.

“Wanna go out?” you asked him, and he sat up to with a small, sad smile.

“Can’t.” you understood his implication and frowned.

“I’m honestly surprised she hasn’t gutted me yet,” you tried to lighten the mood, but his face darkened slightly when he joked back.

“Oh she wants to, I’m telling her any information you give me about citizens, so she doesn’t.” He said, ruffling your hair as he stood to leave.

“That’s fair, I’ll keep an ear out,” you smiled, squeezing his hand gently before he left.

Things changed when Feyre Archeron appeared, you saw the way your friend watched her and realised you might be competing for his attention soon, but you were happy for him. Until he brought her to that first party – drugged and barely dressed. You felt the bile rise in your throat as you pushed down memories of yourself in such a similar position, and while you knew he would never hurt her – he was still a man. And you were foolish to believe for all those years that he was a man who would realise this was wrong.

Making polite excuses you left the party, picking up the tails of your dress as you all but raced home – ditching the dress and closing the blinds tightly as you made yourself food in your underwear. The sick feeling in your throat spreading through your chest and stomach as you ate, abandoning your meal halfway for a book and large sweater. And when he knocked on your door that night, desperate to tell you all about her – all about the human girl who he was sure could be his mate, you pretended to be asleep.

You barely spoke to him the whole time she was there, unable to look him in the eyes when she was so clearly out of it – and the feeling only grew when the next morning she would have all eyes on her. You understood that feeling. You instead spent parties flirting with Tarquin, the young high lord who was only a few years your senior or warding off marriage invitations with laughs and carefully placed words.

Rhys would sometimes catch your eyes – furrowing his eyebrows at you when you avoided his gaze, the sick feeling never really leaving. But it wasn’t until you watched Tamlin slay Amarantha with a smile that he tried to speak to you again. Feyre was Fae and leaving with her betrothed and Rhysand had just confirmed they were mates – and never had he needed his best friend quiet like he did now.

You were sitting when he found you, head in your palms and blood dusting the skirts of your dress. You had been sitting near Amarantha when it happened. You looked up when he neared, smiling sadly as he sat next to you.

“Want to go home?” he asked you quietly and you scoffed, standing, and moving to leave quickly. He followed after you, grabbing your arm as you wrenched it out of his grip with more ferocity than he had ever seen from you.

“Don’t touch me,” he held his hands up, backing away to give you space as you got your breathing under control.

“What did I do?” he asked – smart enough to not presume anything.

“How could you think it was okay, after what happened?” your voice was quiet again, and so sad.

“I don’t know what you mean,” he implored, stepping slightly closer again. You raised your eyes to meet his and he understood, the darkness you carried in your eyes shining through – the memories that resurfaced in those dark moments. “I’m sorry, let me explain please.”

You let him hold your arm softly as he winnowed the two of you to your house where you sat down heavy and tired.

“I did it because she needed out of that cell, but I saw what they did to you and you’re a fae woman, she’s… she was human. So it meant that no one else would touch her.” He tried to explain, “And she wouldn’t want to remember.”

“That’s a horrible thing to do Rhys.” You stated and he hung his head low, “How in anyway was that helping her, to get her out you could’ve snuck her here or just take her to a ball and let her dress normally.”

“I’m sorry, I just knew this would’ve been the safest option,” he grabbed your hand again and squeezed it like he did all those years ago, “It’s over, we can go home.”

“I am home,” you laughed bitterly, gesturing to your house.

“No, you’re coming out of this city – we’re putting it behind us.” He stood and held out a hand.

“I know you’re trying to be dramatic and all, but I have to pack – and think.” You said and he laughed.

“Take your time,” he said, sitting back to wait for you, “And I know it might take you a while to forgive me, but I’ll wait.”

You had left soon after, as he revealed his city to you. Winnowing to a house where two beautiful women stood at the door, strong winged men appearing next to them almost instantly – all sharing the same tear-eyed look. Well, all asides from a short, dark-haired woman who simply smiled.

The men you presumed were Azriel and Cassian barrelled towards Rhysand, attacking him in the most violent hug you had ever witnessed. Mor followed soon after and Amren simply offered him a curt nod, to which he bowed slightly with a cheeky smile.

Cassian turned to look at you and everyone followed suit, you straightened up – not wanting to cower under their gazes.

“And this, this is (y/n).” Rhysand said, placing a hand on your elbow, “She’s the only reason I survived under the mountain.”

You smiled at him, annoyed still – but you still held so much love for him in your heart. You looked away when Cassian approached and wrapped you in a tight hug, lifting you off the ground slightly.

When he released you he looked you dead in the eye, “I am forever in your service.”

“Cassian let go of the poor girl,” Mor exclaimed behind him, and you giggled, looking to Rhys for support.

“Forgot to tell you he’s a hugger,” he shrugged, and you shoved his shoulder.

“Oh did you!” you laughed.

“Gotta get used to it, you’re part of the team now,” Cassian slung an arm around your shoulder as he guided you inside, “which means lots of hugs and long talks about emotions.”

“Don’t steal my best friend Cassian,” Rhys jabbed at his brother as you all moved to sit inside around a long table.

“He already had I’m afraid, can’t reverse love like ours,” you joined in, patting Cassian’s hand as he punched the air in victory, Rhysand feigning pain as he dramatically collapsed into his chair – a hand over his heart.

When you were finally seated you caught Azriel’s gaze, his eyes locked on you – having watched you interact with his family for less than five minutes and already completely enamoured. You smiled softly when you caught his gaze and he grinned at you, no words passing.

Later that evening – after too many drinks, you found yourself alone on a balcony you found, drinking in the fresh air greedily after all those years underground. You didn’t realise he was there until he was next to you – silent on his feet, his shadows a cool chill passing over your shoulders.

You tilted your head to look at him, in awe of his beauty. Not even Rhysand had awed you as much as this man was, his beauty unparalleled by anyone you had met before. He turned his gaze down to you as well, fighting the urge to reach out and touch you as he watched you move with such elegant curiosity.

“We haven’t had the pleasure of being formally introduced,” you smiled, lifting your hand delicately, “I’m (y/n).”

He met your hand halfway, lifting it to his mouth with perfectly poised and trained grace. “Azriel,” his voice was deep, gruff – and sent chills through you quickly. But when he moved your hand from his mouth you held on, the sparks flowing through you telling you all you needed to know. He similarly made no move to let go.

“Are we? I don’t really know how any of this works,” you laughed nervously but he smiled so warmly and tugged you slightly closer to him with the hand you were still clutching.

“You’re my mate princess,” he said, voice rough from disuse. You smiled widely, eyes forming tears as your gaze never strayed from him – finally getting one person who would truly love you, not your body – but you. He tugged your hand gently and you followed him inside, smiling and love drunk.

“We should probably go to the house of wind,” his voice was quiet as you furrowed your eyebrows at him.

“Me and Cassian have to share a room here, the bed are singles.” You smiled and laughed – irrevocably happy.

“Yeah maybe not,” you said, and he held your hand softly as he walked you to the front door, passed his past out friends, Rhys cracking an eye open when you walked past him, and you turned when he tugged your skirt gently.

You okay? He asked in your mind, and you smiled at him.

I’m perfect, why? You replied as he closed his eyes again, clearly too tired to hold them open - Azriel moving to retrieve your coats.

Just don’t feel pressured into doing anything you’re not ready for, Azriel is understanding he won’t get angry. A sort of cold feeling settled on your shoulders when you realised why Azriel wanted that extra privacy.

Shit forgot I had to do that you joked but Rhysand felt the stress growing, however before he could reply Azriel was by your side again and you were waving him goodbye, your smile tight lipped.

Honestly, you trusted Rhysand when he said that Azriel would understand – but so far you had yet to meet a man who truly respected the boundaries you set, a man who would truly wait. Azriel met your eyes in silent questions before scooping you into his arms, flying high above the house as you squealed in his arms, clinging tightly to his neck, and shutting your eyes tightly as you soared above the vibrant city.

He felt you tense as you neared the house, swooping lower in order to land on the large balcony attached to his room. He placed you on shaky legs gently and looked down to smile at you again – heart so full of love and peace.

Not only was his brother returned to him in one piece, but along beside him came you. His mate. His mate.

You caught his gaze and gave him a tight-lipped smile, terrified for history to repeat itself. You wanted to talk to him and know him – you didn’t want him to learn to love your body instead of you. And you were truly afraid to be touched again, you hadn’t been with a man since you were raped – fear stopping you before they could get close and walls slamming up if they tried.

“Are you okay?” Azriel’s voice was dripping with concern – genuine concern, and the way he said it made tears well up in your eyes. His own instantly widened as he sensed the sadness and fear rolling of you in waves, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as you sobbed into his chest. “Oh sweetheart we don’t have to do anything, c’mon lets go sit down.”

He guided you through the glass doors and sat you down gently on the bed, holding you gently and coaxing you through your breakdown. Once your breathing had calmed slightly and you had pulled out of his embrace, wiping your tears harshly with the butt of your hand.

“I’m sorry,” you muttered quietly, terrified to anger your mate when you’ve only just found him.

“It’s okay darling, what’s wrong – did I do something? You’re not terrified of heights are you?” he asked, and you laughed softly, a smile growing on his face as his worries eased slightly.

“No, that was fun,” he grabbed your hand in his scarred ones and you gripped it tightly.

“Then what was it?” you looked into those beautiful, worried eyes and let out an exhale – bottom lip quivering.

“I just don’t think I can – I can’t do that tonight.” You whispered the words lowly, afraid of his reaction as you clung like a child to his hand.

“Hey, that’s okay – we don’t have to do anything until you’re ready,” he smiled, worries easing. You still wanted to be with him, just not in that way yet – and he could wait. He would wait a million years if you asked.

“Even if I’m not ready for a while?” You asked, and he held your face in his hands gently – looking into your tear-filled, defeated eyes.

“I would wait forever and then some – I have already waited so long to meet you, I’m sure I can last longer, especially if you’re next to me.” Your smile was so sad when you met his eyes.

“I’ve been told that before,” Azriel just pulled you closer to him with a cheeky grin.

“And were any of them your mate?”

“No,” you smiled at him again and he thought his heart was going to combust.

“Well then, I love to prove people wrong.” You buried your head into his chest as his arms came around you once more, “Would you like to sleep here, or would you like your own room?”

“Here is fine, I like the way you make me feel,” you said quietly, tugging on the bond experimentally. Azriel just smiled and tugged back.

“That works for me, I’ll get you a change of clothes.” He moved to stand but you stopped him – tugging on the dress shirt he wore.

“I want this,” you grinned cheekily up at him, and he laughed, but undid the buttons and pulled it off anyway – turning around to let you change in peace. When he turned back around you were looking up at him with wide eyes – looking impossibly cute in his shirt.

“It has holes in the back,” you complained, and he laughed, sitting down to tug off his trousers before sliding under the covers as you scrambled to lay in his arms.

“Well I do have wings,” he cemented his point by letting one drape over your shoulders as you sighed in content.

“Really, I hadn’t noticed,” you deadpanned quietly, burrowed deep under his arms and the covers. His chest rumbled with the silent laugh as he pressed a kiss into your hairline.

The next morning he awoke to you laying on his chest, tracing the scars on the backs of his hands with a delicately pointed finger. He stared in wonder, and you must have felt his gaze because you turned your head to meet his eyes, face still puffy from sleep. As you whispered to him that morning, your chin resting on his chest as you gazed up at him until he rose to get your morning drinks. Barely daring to leave for more than a few seconds. And when he returned he was so glad he did – welcoming the sight of you curled up under his sheets with a shy smile and tired eyes.

“Do we have to do anything today?” you asked as you sipped your drink slowly, Azriel’s’ arm tight and secure around your waist.

“Nope,” he said, delighted at the prospect, “I just want to be with you and my family.”

“Sounds heavenly.”

True to his word, for the next few weeks that past, you and Azriel didn’t progress past slow, occasional kisses and lingering touches. But before either of those he was always searching your eyes – asking permission. And you truly fell in love with him during those weeks.

He was caring and consistent – never promising anything he couldn’t bring. And he cared for you, he cared for you past your body and looks. He wanted to be with you for an eternity.

One night, while you lay together, speaking lowly and listening to the rain fall outside your room – a glass door cracked open, you decided you were ready. You pressed closer to him, your lips meeting his own in a kiss more passionate than you had previously shared.

He followed your lead with just as much passion, but when you crawled into his lap he pulled away slightly.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to rush you,” he asked quietly, hands coming to rest on your hips.

“I’m sure, I love you and I want to be with you.” You told him sincerely, “But I haven’t been with anyone in a few years so I’m a little out of practice.”

You giggled nervously but he furrowed his eyebrows, “But you told me about your boyfriends?”

“Yeah but I – stopped dating about five years ago.” You tried to explain quickly, old nerves being brought up, but Azriel pulled you closer and as always his touch calmed you.

“Can I ask why?” he watched you drop your head a little as you breathed slowly – determined to not let your fear rise, you would probably end up telling him anyway so you might as well get it over with.

“I was raped.” You stated and his grip on your hips tightened slightly as he swore.

“Darling, I’m so sorry,” he started but you stopped him with a sharp glaze.

“You don’t need to apologise, it happened and it’s over now.” He could practically feel you pull away, so he loosened his grip on your hips and instead brought his arms up to hold you against his chest.

“Who did it?” he asked, voice dark and dangerous. You muttered a name lowly – under your breath – and he pocketed in the darkest corners of his mind for later. His shadows itching to tear the man apart.

“Look (y/n), if you’re ready I am more than happy to oblige but I need to know you’re really ready, I will wait as long as you need.” You pulled away from his chest and kissed him gently.

“I’m ready, I trust you,” he smiled up at you from where you perched on his lap and you giggled and he flipped you over, laying between your legs with a feral grin.

He made you cum three times with his mouth and those beautiful, beautiful hands alone – more than you had ever experienced with a man and he hadn’t even received any pleasure yet. Except from the pleasure of watching his perfect mate fall apart on his sheets, over and over.

And when he lay over you, your legs pushed up and wrapped around his waist, and his forearms on either side of your head – he would later swear he had never felt more complete.

“I’m here with you remember, will be the whole time.” He assured you, voice soft as he lined himself up and you smiled.

“I love you so much,” you whispered, and he pushed in slowly, filling every part of you and pushing against every spot you didn’t know you had. You swore under your breath when he bottomed out, the slight pain quickly being reduced to please as he dropped his head into the crook of your neck.

“Fuck baby, you feel so good,” you felt shivers run through your body at his gruff voice and smiled, moaning when he began to move.

He pulled his head from where it hid in your neck and watched as you closed your eyes – head thrown back with a smile – and his hips bucked, desperately trying to control himself as he watched you arch your back.

“Shit Az, you’re so big,” you moaned loudly, unaware of the trance you had pulled your mate into.

“You’re so pretty,” he whispered with a harsh thrust, a hand coming to stroke down your face as you opened your eyes to meet his, “So perfect.”

You felt as if your heart was going to burst from the love that filled it as you reached up to kiss him softly – conveying every word, every thought, through that kiss. When you pulled away you were nearing your end, the sensations building in you without the need of a fantasy or your own hand.

You moaned his name, gripping his shoulders tightly as one hand instinctively moved to stroke down his wing. He shuddered above you with a loud groan – his thrusts speeding up as he to neared release, yours hips surely bruising from the force of his own.

“C’mon baby, need to feel you, need to know you’re mine.” His words ignited something in your stomach, and you clung tighter to him, kissing his sharp jaw as you smiled.

“I’m yours Azriel, now and forever.” Your gentle words pushed him over the edge and his skilful fingers dipping between your thighs brought you down with him. The two of you crying out at the sensations you shared as a growing need to never let him go consumed you.

He collapsed on top of you soon after and he intertwined your fingers with his own as your breathing evened out. He slipped out of you, and you smiled up at him as he sat up, rolling off your body and laying to the side while you came to rest your head on his firm chest. He brought his spare hand upwards – twirling strands of your hair slightly as you rested in silence. After a few minutes, you clambered into his lap and kissed him firmly as he pulled you impossibly close.

“Thank you,” you whispered against his lips, and he felt his heart swell with gratitude to the world for giving him an angel that would willingly hold his hand and guide him out of the darkness.

“I am so in love with you,” he whispered back, and you giggled, a hand moving slowly to stroke him as you felt him harden beneath you again.

“Hmm, is that so?” you whispered.

Azriel, who had started pressing light kisses into your neck, nipped you gently, making you squeal, “What were you saying darling?”

“That I am also deeply, and unequivocally in love with you.” You replied and he rolled his eyes.

“Just putting me to shame with your big words.” He muttered and you giggled – crawling down his body.

“I’m sure I could make it up to you.”

#acofas #acotar #azriel #acomaf #azriel x reader #acowar #acofs #acosf

452 notes · View notes

sirensmojo · 3 years

Text

"Big Bank!" - Hubby! Tommy Shelby x Reader

Warnings: Big Fluff, Old Money love story vibes.

Summary: Tommy decided to let his wife take care of his Gin. He comes to taste it for the first time after the Gin was met with great success.

A/N: We stand for a caring & trusting Thomas, sorry not sorry.

*Masterlist*

It was a windy day when Tommy entrusted you with his Gin distillery.

The sun was out, as your children were running around the garden, their giggling easing his mind. His head dropped backward on the garden chair as fingers of one of his hands were fidgeting with his cup or whiskey, as a cigarette was locked in between his lips.

Spring was early this year, much to your family’s pleasure. Spending time outside was something you loved to do, and knowing Tommy’s busy agenda, you made sure to make every family moment the best one.

No need to say time flew so fast, the days becoming months, becoming years.

Tommy and you was an evidence. From the day you bumped into each other in the London’s library his sister Ada used to work, you were inseparable. Thus you didn’t know each other for very long, but everything between you made this fact questionable.

You were acting as if you knew each other since children, a single look and you understood what the other thought. Not too many words were said, but not too many words were needed.

Although you weren’t Tommy’s first wife, you were “the perfect two”, making all the people you knew jealous and envious.

“My love,” you announced your presence when coming closer to the garden table as your husband was eyes closed. “I did some thinking.” You added, catching his attention.

Tommy straightened back his head and he was now facing you as you seated in front of him, glimpsing from afar of your three little boys.

“You know I don’t like your whiskey or any type of alcohol, truly.” You raised your brows, and he puffed on his cig, waiting for you to continue. “I want to make Shelby’s Gin.” You let out outright.

No need to turn around your wish, by the way he shifted position you already knew he was ready to hear anything, and you didn’t want to disturb him from his peace. You knew how he dearly appreciated those little moments in which he didn’t have to think about running a business or dealing with dirty gangsters and rude people.

“You want to do what?” He raised a brow not too sure he heard you well, but when he caught eyes of your lips curling at the corner of your mouth, he knew he had heard it well.

His family was his haven of peace and you would do anything to take off some weight off your Shelby’s shoulders. it was a regular task, a daily basis habit that you quickly took and that you’ll probably never lose.

“I already tried a mixture.” His deep voice accentuating your smile.

“It’s my turn now, you played enough with that, you need to focus on real business now. Put your mind elsewhere and let me fill my bottles.”

You couldn’t quite put your finger on what changed precisely, but you noticed a shifting in your husband’s expression along with the gleam animating his iris.

You thought it was worry.

You lost your father a few months ago due to lung disease and your mother died long ago when you were the age of your own children, and as an only child, you were now all alone without your parents.

Gracefully you had Tommy and the kids because if you hadn’t you didn’t know how you would’ve handled this loss.

As being a sensible cord, your husband didn’t bring it up, and he wasn’t the type of comforting people with words anyway, but he tried it his way, which means he bought you a ridiculous amount of new jewellery and books because he knew how much you liked to read and how you were a simp for big diamonds.

Incidentally, Tommy always found it funny how much time you spend with your nose in books while having a voracious appetite for jewellery. He would never miss an occasion to make fun of you when catching you reading as you had to wear glasses, and it was all funny and stuff till he too, had to wear glasses to read.

Now, in bed, you looked like two old people, instead, you were reading adventure and dramatic novels whereas he was stuck with political subjects.

“Okay.” He didn’t hesitate a single moment which made you smile.

“Okay?” you repeated, your smile growing as seconds passed. He straightened back, leaning over the table to you and his hands reached for yours.

You intertwined your fingers together with ease, sparkles spreading at the tips of each of it.

It was that way with every of his touches. He just had that power over you, which you were proud of as it was just love. It could never be anything else.

His deep blue eyes were anchored into your Y/C/E’s ones and you knew he was trying to bring you comfort. He knew what it felt like to lose people, and was ready to give you whatever if that meant to ease your pain.

You neared your faces and he ran his thumb over the end of your nose, down to your lips as cupping your cheek with his palm. Tommy’s head was slightly tilted to the side, his only purpose being to reach your soul with either his touch or his soul hidden behind his iris.

You leaned your head into his touch and closed your eyes for a second, enjoying that moment between the two of you as the breeze made its way to your neck under your mane.

Now, nearly five weeks later, all Birmingham was only speaking of the Shelby family as the people making “the good priced good gin” according to what you heard in the streets. From the fancy restaurant to the underground pubs, everyone in town had tasted of that oh so liked liquor.

Tommy first heard how good the gin was by his brother Arthur. He, who liked to get drunk all day long and all night long, was always keeping a bottle of it in his car or even on himself.

Then it was Ada, always offering him a drink of it whenever he would visit her.

(...)

It was 4 in the afternoon when Tommy walked through Charlie’s yard to join the Gin factory, when opening the door he was surprised to see you, seated at the old dusty desk filling paper and sipping on several cups.

Your husband frowned, “Y/N?”. He didn’t know if he should be worried or glad to see you working in such a place while drinking a lot knowing you’re not even a drinker in the first place.

You lifted your gaze to him and a huge smile instantly warmed up the atmosphere in the space, “Tommy!” You exclaimed as you got up. Being a bit dizzy you were strongly holding onto the table while getting up but you wanted to join him, and that’s when Tommy noticed your reddened cheek and little eyes.

“You’re drunk,” he stated, concerned. His expression shifted. He seemed a bit worried as he took one of your wrists to help you walk correctly.

You waved your free hand before you as to blow away his remark, “I was trying a new mixture for the Gin.” You informed him. You slid a hand into his rough one and stepped backwards, to the desk. “Here, choose one and tell me.” You proudly pointed to each of the cups. “This one on the left is spicy, the middle one a little too sweet for the Americans, this one to the right is the version that is out, and the last one is a bit strong. If the sadness hit too much.”

“The sadness?” Tommy asked while grabbing the third cup, being the gin that was already out. He was quite startled by how implicated his wife seemed to be, he didn’t actually think she would invest that much time and energy in this activity, but he was relieved she found a reason to get up every morning other than their beautiful family.

He knew how living a life without having or serving a purpose was meaningless and boring, even more, when being saddened by something you can’t control such as the death of a loved one.

The Shelby brother will sleep better now, knowing his other half found purpose somewhere, even if seeing her drunk was a sight he could never get used to…

At this moment, he felt the need to feel her skin under his touch before doing anything else, and that’s what he did, putting his hand at the end of her back, he pulled her closer, his thumb rubbing her skin over the fabric of her dress.

Tommy then drank from the cup and took his time judging the taste of it.

He opened his eyes and dropped the cup on the desk before turning to his wife, she was looking at him, impatience spreading all over her face. She seemed ready to hear Tommy’s opinion on her Gin... On their gin.

The blue-eyed man grabbed her face in his hands and pressed his forehead to Y/N’s. She closed her eyes a couple of seconds before opening them to a staring Tommy. He was fondling her cheeks with his thumbs before exhaling deeply, “I now understand why everyone’s talking about us, Shelbys, being fucking genius’, eh” He got distracted by her lips.

“This,” he pointed to the bottle standing at the corner of the table, and, once again, Tommy got distracted, he noticed words were present on the bottle down the name. “Distilled for the eradication of incurable sadness.” He read out loud.

A faint smile was found on his face before he agitated the bottle in his hand. He was proud.

He put down the bottle and directly sealed his lips to Y/N’s, the calling for love being too loud to resist.

That was exactly why it was her and no one else, she was always unpredictable and versatile. Who would have thought his bibliophile wife could be a real gem in the making of gin?

She put away, gasping for air before looking him in the eyes, “What? Did I never tell you the fact that my grandpa was making alcohol?” She teased his lips by speaking inches away from them, “I know one or two tricks. That’s why it’s selling well.” She concluded before pressing their lips together eagerly.

“This is a big bank, yea” He succeeded at saying in between two kisses.

#Thomas Shelby x Reader #Tommy Shelby #Peaky blinders #husband tommy shelby #hubby!Tommy Shelby

436 notes · View notes

ptergwen · 3 years

Note

Hi val! Got a request, it's okay if you don't wanna write it, but can you write about peter telling the reader he's going on a huge mission and he's excited about it but the reader is so worried they end up arguing? But when peter gets back from mission all bruised, the reader is still upset but dresses his wound anyway and it ends up with fluff??

abort mission

w/c: 2.4k

warnings: mentions of blood, swearing, and angst

a/n: woah woah woah i ended up writing way more than i expected but i loved this request so much :,) i hope you do too

“we’re staying in this, like, super fancy castle while we’re there. it’s gonna be awesome,” peter rambles to you. he takes all the clean shirts in his drawer and throws them into a suitcase.

he’s packing for a mission in europe with the avengers, and you’re here to say goodbye. you’ve been pretty quiet while peter gives you as many details as he’s allowed to. it’s always an honor when the team invites him on. he gets so stoked about it. you’re happy he’s happy and gets to pursue his passion, but you’ve noticed a pattern.

every time peter leaves the country with earth’s mightiest heroes, he comes back in worse condition than the last. it seems like they protect everyone except peter. he’s oblivious to the fact that the end result is always his suffering. he’s just glad to be there. really, he gets nothing in return except scars that never heal, not even a permanent spot on the team.

so, you’re not thrilled he agreed to go.

“plus, i get to miss two weeks of school.” peter beams, getting onto his knees to zip the suitcase. “feels like a vacation almost.” “you like school, though,” you remind him. you’re sat at the edge of his bed while you watch, rather than help. he hops up again with a shrug. “i like vacations more.” “it’s not a vacation,” you mutter to yourself, then speak up.

“how are you gonna catch up? that’s a lot of missing assignments.” with that same innocent smile, peter walks over to you. he grabs both your hands and laces your fingers together. “i’m a fast learner. besides, ned said he’d help me.” you sigh, looking down at the floor so you don’t have to look at peter. “or, you could. make it into a little study date when i get back,” he suggests while playing with your fingers.

“i don’t even want you to go,” you finally admit and meet his sparkling eyes. nothing could ever dull them. “why not? you’re gonna miss me?” peter teases, pressing a couple of kisses to your palm. “you don’t have to. i’m pretty sure france has wifi.” he wiggles his eyebrows. “oui oui, mademoiselle, eh?” despite yourself, you giggle at his french accent and tug on his hands. he sits down next to you with a chuckle.

“nat has been giving me lessons,” peter explains, you quirking an eyebrow. “she speaks french?” “she speaks a lot of languages, actually. she’s so cool.” peter scoots closer to you and sets his hands on your waist, his voice dropping. “you’d love her.” your face twists up in confusion at the idea.

you don’t have anything against the avengers, obviously. they’re good people. you’re just not the biggest fan of them at the moment, considering the circumstances they’ve put peter under.

“peter, i don’t want you to go,” you repeat more seriously than before. your teeth sink into your lower lip. “and, it’s not because i’ll miss you.” “none taken,” peter jokes, implying there should’ve been a no offense. he then realizes how distressed you look, so he cuts it out. “sorry, sorry. i’m done now. how come?”

you take his hand again and hold it tight. “what if you get hurt?” you ask in the nicest way possible, out of care. “i don’t wanna see you hurting, pete. this mission sounds really... dangerous.” he runs his thumb over the back of your hand, his grin faltering a bit. “it is, but i’m ready for it. i’ll be fine.”

you’re not convinced yet. that line he likes to overuse isn’t enough to do the trick.

his eyes searching for yours, peter brushes a piece of your hair back. “have a little faith in me, babe.” “no, i... i do. i have the most faith in you, peter.” you find yourself frowning as he twirls your locks around his finger. “that’s not the problem.” peter’s voice becomes a whisper. “what is it, then? talk to me.”

you do the opposite because you’re afraid you’ll upset him further, which is the last thing he needs right now. your silence prompts peter to fill it. “would it make you feel better if i say mr. stark is keeping an eye on me?” he’s smiling sheepishly, you scoffing. “oh, like he kept an eye on you in amsterdam?”

the only eye related activity that happened there was peter almost losing one of his. he’d come back with an eyepatch and couldn’t see out of it for over a month. to this day, there’s still a bit of blood in it when you look close enough.

“i already told you, that was my fault,” peter grumbles, turning so he faces forward. “i didn’t listen to him-“ “who gives a shit? he’s the one who put you in that situation!” you blurt out. you’ve been way too patient this whole time, and now you’re reaching your breaking point. “you say that like i didn’t wanna be there.” peter clenches his jaw, still mostly calm.

“either way, mr. stark,” you mock what peter always calls him, “was supposed to keep you safe, and he didn’t. i’m scared it’s gonna happen again.” letting out a noise close to a growl, peter stands up from the bed. “you’re not listening to me, y/n. everything was fine. i just-“ you’re not in the mood to hear him make excuses, so you interrupt.

“do you know any other sixteen year olds who fight literal terrorists on their free time?” you rhetorically ask and get to your own feet. peter tries to walk away from you, only you follow him. “you’re a kid, peter, in case you forgot.” he spins around to give you a nasty look. “do you know any other sixteen year olds who stick to fucking walls?”

your heart starts to race from his sudden outburst. he’s scary when he’s mad, and he almost never gets mad at you. all you can do is blink dumbly. “didn’t think so,” peter spits. “this is what i’m supposed to do, help people. is that so wrong?” his breathing becomes ragged as his anger grows.

“what about you? are you helping yourself?” you speak softly, expecting an answer this time. “you’re not my fucking therapist, y/n,” he deflects the question. “i am your girlfriend, though. i care about you so much, you know that.” eyebrows furrowed in concern, you reach out for peter. he takes a step back. it doesn’t take long for tears to cloud your vision.

“i was excited to share this with you, and i thought you’d be happy for me.” peter balls his hands into fists at his sides. his voice stays low. “instead, you made it all about yourself. you can never let me enjoy team stuff.” you’re speechless, peter nodding as he lets his words sit. “thanks for the support.”

“you’re an asshole,” you laugh out bitterly and wipe under your eyes.

he didn’t mean to make you cry. he was so caught up in himself, he didn’t realize you were.

peter’s whole demeanor changes. “y/n, baby...” he attempts to put a hand on your cheek, but you hit it away. “get off of me. what did i just say?” you sniffle, your tone harsh in contrast. “you’re an asshole, peter.” he changes his mind about feeling bad. you’ve berated him way more than he did you, anyway.

“you should go. i have to be up early,” peter decides, even though he’d said you could stay the night. whatever, you don’t want to anymore. “fine,” you agree shortly. “i’m leaving.” he stands there while you collect your things, shoving them into your bag. you’re going slow enough so he has a chance to stop you. he doesn’t.

you pass by him on your way to his door, sucking in a breath. here’s your official goodbye. “see you later, peter. don’t die.” “mhm, i won’t,” he replies, his tongue poking at his cheek. with one more shared look between you two, you make your grand exit, no doubt informing may of her nephew’s behavior before you’re gone.

peter immediately regrets the way he talked to you, and that you’re leaving things like this. you were only trying to protect him. you’ll never be able to save the city like he does, so this is how you do it. he truly is an asshole for not seeing that.

frustration consuming him, peter kicks over his fully stuffed suitcase, its contents spilling out. he grits his teeth.

“fan-fucking-tastic.”

you don’t talk to peter the whole two weeks he’s gone except for some are you alive and yes texts. he’d called you quite a few times, and was sent to voicemail for all of them. he gave you the benefit of the doubt because of timezones.

it was actually because you declined, which peter knew deep down was the real reason.

he’s coming home from his mission today. you’re not sure when or if he plans on dropping by. you’re not sure you’d like him to, either. you don’t really get a choice in the end.

there’s a series of knocks at your window, at some ungodly time in the night. you’re all too familiar with this routine. it’s peter.

you slip out from under your covers, a scowl already painting your face as you go to the window. surely enough, peter is perched in front of it, clad in red and black. the suit must be new because you’ve never seen it. you push up the window and step aside so he can get through.

“thanks,” peter mumbles, climbing into your room less gracefully than usual. he’s sort of wobbly when he lands. “yeah,” you dully acknowledge. “how was france?” “uh, good. you know, lots of cheese and all that.” his voice is muffled from his mask, since he hasn’t taken it off yet. that’s odd. “i was talking about the mission, but cool,” you almost laugh back.

“the mission was... fine,” peter clarifies and scratches the back of his neck. he never describes something as simply being ‘fine.’ when the boy talks, he lectures. you’re starting to get worried. “that’s good. at least you didn’t die, right?” you say to lighten the mood. peter awkwardly chuckles. “haha, yeah. thank god for that.”

you hum and walk over to sit on your bed, peter staying where he is. “what time did you get back?” you wonder, a completely harmless question. “um, this morning,” he says in response, raising your suspicions. “why’re you still in the suit, then?” you squint at him. “i like it, by the way.” “thanks, y/n/n. i, uh,” peter trails off, no good explanations coming to mind.

you’re quickly developing a hunch for what what down. you wordlessly get up again, meeting peter by your window. he’s nervous to see what happens next. peter’s shoulders slump when your fingers land on his mask. you carefully lift it, revealing his face to you. his banged up, bloody face.

“surprise.” peter musters up a grin, you tossing the mask at his chest. you’re beyond angry now. it’s not at him, athough it is at his injuries. “please don’t be mad,” he nearly begs, you shaking your head. you go to leave your room for some space. peter’s fingers wrap around your wrist, pulling you back. “i should’ve listened to you, okay? i’m sorry,” he genuinely apologizes.

you still don’t say anything while you look over his beaten body. there’s a gash with stitches in it on his chin, a deep slice across the bridge of his nose, cuts littering his cheeks. he’s even got a busted lip for good measure. this might be the worst condition he’s let you see him in.

“you were right, y/n. i think... i think i’m gonna sit the next one out. it’s too much for me, clearly,” peter continues, fingers sliding down to lock with yours. “you should say you told me so.” “how... how did this happen?” you manage to get out instead. “the bad guy fought me,” he says with the hint of a smirk. “i won, though.”

it’s a relief that he’s handling this so well, even earning a laugh from you. that puts you more at ease.

“this is probably a dumb question, but are you okay?” you brush your thumb over peter’s cheekbone gently, avoiding his scratches. “not really. my face hurts a lot, and flash is gonna tease the hell out of me on monday.” his lips form a line, arms looping around your waist. it’s very much welcomed by you.

“you just spent two weeks trying not to die, and you’re worried about flash?” you snicker and draw a heart on his skin. peter shrugs a shoulder. “he’s so mean to me.” he brings you in closer to him. “besides, this is the normal kid stuff i should be focusing on.” you’re glad he finally came to terms with that. you’ve been saying it for the longest time.

you smile wickedly at him. “exactly. so is all that homework you have to make up.” peter lets out a breathy laugh, you laying your head on his chest. “i missed you,” he tells you quietly. “really wish i could kiss you right now.” “i missed you too, pete. so much,” you murmur into him. your hands settle on his biceps. “and, i forgive you.” “thanks, baby,” peter exhales.

“of course. once your lips are healed,” you pull back from his chest, making a kissing noise. “pucker up, lover- oh my god.” you’re looking up at him with wild eyes. peter gets reasonably startled from it. “what? what’s wrong?” “you... you’re bleeding!” you point at his stitches. he winces, touching the spot. there’s blood, alright.

“crap. do you have a bandaid or something?” peter gives you an apologetic smile. “mr. stark said i should cover them when this happens.” maybe, tony isn’t so bad after all. you nod and take him by his hand. “yeah, in the bathroom. come with me.”

peter sits on the edge of your bathtub while you patch up his chin. he tells you more about the fun parts of his mission, you placing the cinderella bandaid over his gash. you have those from a while ago and also regular ones. however, he preferred the princess design.

“you saw the real mona lisa? like, in person? that’s insane.” you grin, smoothing down peter’s bandaid one last time. “yeah, she’s even prettier up close.” peter returns the smile. “thanks for taking care of me, y/n. i swear i don’t deserve you sometimes.” now pouting at him, you crouch down so you’re at his level. “it’s the other way around, peter.”

“let’s just agree to disagree,” he concludes and tucks a stray hair behind your ear. “i love you, okay?” “i love you, too.” you press a light kiss to his bandaid, getting a giggle from peter.

yeah, it’s going to be hell finding replacements for his lips.

#peter parker #peter parker fluff #peter parker imagine #peter parker x y/n #peter parker x you #peter parker x reader #peter parker angst #peter parker smut #peter parker fic #peter parker fanfiction #tom holland #tom holland fluff #tom holland x reader #tom holland x y/n #tom holland x you #tom holland imagine #tom holland smut

861 notes · View notes

dourpeep · 3 years

Note

OKAY time for a college au!!

You 3 know each other from before college

You and kazuha were seating next to each other during your first year of high school you became close enough to greet each other whenever you guys pass by each other

And you and Xiao were best friends from kindergarten to 2 grade but unfortunately you had to move suddenly you two tried to keep contact but the two of you made new friends and kinda lost contact with each other

So when you go to college you meet kazuha at the front desk when you're trying to get your schedule and yall are like "omg I'm so happy to see someone that I know here!" and when you guys check your schedules it turns out that the two of you have the same class during the first period

And you're like "we've got 30 minutes wanna go grab a cup of coffee and get lost together?" and kazu knows that you playfully flirt with your friends so he jokingly says "are you asking me out for a date? Because if you are then I accept!" and you guys talk on the way to class and the two of you barely make it on time

Class ends and you're sad to say goodbye to the only person you know on campus but then all of a sudden he hits you with a "by the way can I have your number?" so you two exchange numbers

Later you're going to your last class and it turns out that this class doesn't have many people you go sit in the back and someone comes up to you and is like "can I sit next to you? " you say yes obviously

But the thing is... there is something very familiar about this guy and you just can't put your finger on it so you kind of stare at him without realizing it

Of course he noticed how hard you've been staring at him and turns around and is like "what? Is there something on my face?" that's when it finally clicks

And you're just like "XIAO??! IS THAT REALLY YOU?!!" but the teacher comes in so you two can't really talk

But the moment class ends you tell him who you are and take a few minutes to catch up

Though I say catch up it was mostly you teasing him saying shit like "I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!" (he's starting to think that maybe he should have sat somewhere else)

So you're like "hey how we go actually catch up I've got some coupons for this café I went to this morning with a friend"

He doesn't have a reason to say no so he just accepts the invitation

When you guys get there who do you meet? KAZUHA! This man actually works there!

When you see him you're like "kazuha why didn't you tell me that you work here?" but he pretends not to know you and is like "oh? Well who might this fine customer be?" you can tell he's joking by the way he's trying not to laugh so you decide to play along

Poor Xiao is starting to regret coming with you (but don't worry he got 2 plates of almond tofu as an apology)

-no primogems (I'll make another part later where you 3 become roommates)

YES I ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS-

dhfaeiahe I realize now that I should've just posted this as is since I wasn't planning on adding to this but might as well add in some thoughts I've had about this lovely trio eh??? tbh I didn't add much I just slipped in a few little things hehe

Can you guess the roomates?? Also the bio professor is Albedo ehe

Anyway!!

Considering it's the first semester of college, you haven't yet decided on your major. Luckily, you have quite a few general education classes to take, so you register all in one night.

You'll have the time to figure it all out as time goes by, no?

The rest of summer is spent juggling moving into the campus' dorms, working, and keeping up with some friends from high school. While you've kept contact with a few friends, you definitely kicked yourself in the ass for forgetting to ask Kazuha for his number...how could you forget one of your best friends?

But, you suppose that he's far off in a whole other city with his wish to experience more. You can't help but wonder what he's up to.

Then, the first day of classes starts.

How did you not figure out where everything is first? Instead of moping, you trudge to the administrative building early to ask for directions and, even better, a map of the large campus.

Instead, you find a familiar head of cream-colored hair.

Immediately, you gasp and he turns around in confusion, only for a soft smile to spread over his features. It's only been a summer but it's a relief to see that you know another person. Comparing schedules, he points out that you both have Communications 1301 together.

For once, you're glad you have to take these mandatory courses...

But with an abundance of time (as Kazuha just so happens to know where the class is), he accepts your jokingly firtatious proposal to head to the cafe just across campus to grab a morning drink.

It's hardly been long since you've last spoken to him, but there's still so much to talk about! It turns out he opted to rent out a small studio apartment just a few blocks away from campus! Naturally, he invites you over sometime.

He's also admitted that he decided to major in English--something you're not surprised to hear. After all, Kazuha's a natural at the subject, exceeding the assignments and always so eloquent.

If you recall correctly, he used to tote around a little notebook full of little musings and poetry during high school. You wonder if he still does that.

You talk about how you've just moved into the dorms a week ago, how you're lucky to be rooming with two musically inclined (if not a bit rowdy) people. You're sure that he'd take a liking to them once everything is calmed down a bit. Kazuha just raises a brow in half-doubt.

Before you know it, it's been an hours and, to your horror, your first class starts in five minutes. Not to mention that it was back closer to the admin building and you were on the opposite side of campus.

But it's still fun, Kazuha laughing as you jolt up and tug him to stand, the two of you running to get to class on time. With heaving breaths and flushed faces, you make it just a few minutes late. Luckily, your professor didn't mind because it was the first day...

Following class, you have to make your way to Bio 1301, Kazuha having a major-specific English course to get to. Before you can speak, though, he offers his phone to you. It's newer than his old flip phone you'd tease him about all the time, the screen clean save for a few stray fingerprints.

After you put in your number, he beams and quickly sends you a call so you can have his too.

"Call me after you're done with classes, alright?"

You promise to and the two of you set off.

Biology proves to be uneventful, a full hour and a half of the (rather attractive) professor going over what to expect as well as passing out lab waiver forms. A necessary precaution, he said with a reserved sigh. You wonder what happened.

When the hour ends, you have some time before World History, followed by a Trigonometry course.

By the time you find your trig class, most of the seats are already taken, making that feeling of dread fill the pit of your stomach. Nothing is worse than being forced to take whatever seat is left. But, noticing a seat by the windows, it's not so bad.

You're in the back, though, settling your bag beneath your chair and picking out a pen and schedule book.

At some point, someone walks in and asks if the seat in front of you is taken. You don't bother to look up long as you fish out a notebook, letting him know it's free.

As class goes on, you realize that the guy in front of you most likely hasn't been paying attention. Considering that the professor has been rehashing stuff from Algebra...you're not surprised. But something about his dark hair catches your eye. Not to mention his striking gold eyes...hm.

It's not until you catch his profile as he stares out the window that it clicks.

"Xiao."

His eyes dart to look at you, a confused look washing over his face. You repeat his name.

"Yes?"

Part of him is just about ready to leave as recognition floods your expression, smile wide. How could you possibly---

"I can't believe the shy kid who used to tear up whenever his turn on the swing was taken would grow up to be this handsome!"

The tips of his ears turn red fast, something that you remember very well about him, and his gaze quickly flicks over to the professor still dragging on. When gold settles back on you, they're practically begging for you to lower your voice.

"It's been forever--I can't believe that you-"

"If you're going to talk, do it outside of class."

Ah. Oopsie.

Time seems to drag on while you buzz in your seat, excited to see your childhood friend after loosing contact. You've missed him over the years, always wondering what happened to him, how he's been. And finally, when class ends, he gets up and waits for you.

Naturally, you want to catch up, so you invite him to go to the cafe with you for a late lunch.

"You still like almond tofu right? It's all you used to eat when we were little." Laughing, you nudge his shoulder and the color returns to his cheeks as he mumbles a yes.

When you step into the cafe, a familiar voice greets you.

"If I knew a cute customer would be coming, I would've gone on break."

Kazuha leans on the counter, mirth in his eyes and you gasp. It makes sense now, why he's so well acquainted with the campus and why he'd already known what to order when you arrived for drinks-

"What can I get for you today?"

"Your number."

Xiao's face pales at the blatant flirting, wondering if he should've just declined the invitation to the cafe until the two of you burst into laughter. Though, it's hardly better.

"Sorry, sorry- This is Kazuha, one of my friends from high school. Kazuha, this is my childhood best friend Xiao."

With a day so filled with nice coincidences, you doubt that life can get any better than this.

Oh, how wrong you'd be.

#anon asks #no primogems anon #kazuha x xiao x reader #xiao and his two lovely dumb s/o's #college au #polycule #polyamory #meet cute #xiao #kazuha #genshin impact headcanons #genshin impact drabbles #genshin impact fics #genshin impact

189 notes · View notes

thanxxskz · 3 years

Note

I know it's long sorry and thanks in advance for even taking the request 😁

Can you please do a scenario where the boys are wolves and you are chans mate but he likes another girl and starts dating her but they keep you around because he still needs you since you are his mate and he is an alpha so that makes the reader upset because she has to see him with her all the time then she becomes good friends with changbin since he is always there to comfort her and Chan starts getting jealous and it causes issues between him and changbin but at the end chan realizes he likes the reader and they end up together

issues in the wolf gang - b.c

i hope it’s up to your expectatives *cries* it’s my first time writing something like this! i really hope everyone likes it asdnaksjdn

words: 2,250 (this is the longest thing i’ve ever written i think

warnings: eh, angst? but fluff the last paragraphs.

being the alpha’s mate has been something that your parents desired for you to be since you had memory. your parents, especially your father, always told you that being at the top had to be your priority and for them, mating with the alpha was it. this had never been important for you- you never really had a good relationship with your parents, so whatever they said went in one ear and out the other. you could feel the disappointment from your parents, making them stop talking to you for a long time, and you leaving their home.

after a time, you came back home to your parents. even after purposely stopping talking to you because you didn’t fulfil their initial wishes, they welcomed you with happiness and a hug, proud of having you back. you personally were happy to be back in your old gang after a few months of being alone.

in the meantime that you were gone a new alpha had been chosen. the name was christopher bang, but you have heard that the people close to him called him chan, for whatever reason. he saw you from afar and smiled. he came up close to you and waved his hand.

“hey, i’m christopher, you are?”

“i’m y/n” you said

“are you new around?” you shook your head “no? i don’t think i’ve seen you before”

“i left a few months ago, i just came back”

---

this conversation happened two years ago now, and you were now, to your parents’ surprise, chan’s mate. the relationship with him had grown only stronger since your first meeting. you felt a strong connection the moment he smiled at you, and had been close since then.

along the way, you had developed feelings for him, and by the way he acted around you, you and many people in the gang believed that you were meant for each other. you really believed it, to the point that you were going to confess to him.

the day you were about to do it, chan confessed to you that he had been liking a girl for a while, but he didn’t know how to approach her. by what he told you, they had been alone plenty of times and he seemed to believed that the feelings were mutual, so he decided to give it a go.

the problem is that he being an alpha and you his mate, you would have to see them together most of the time, since you couldn’t be separated.

you weren’t a horrible person so you encouraged him to ask her on a date. you couldn’t let your feelings meddle in his future relationship when it was clear that he had his eyes set on one person and clearly that person wasn’t you. due to this, he asked you how could he ask her out, and you gave him advice on what most girls around would like to be asked out. he ended up having dinner with her, a dinner himself cooked.

they began dating officially after four or five dates and, honestly, it wasn’t something that bothered you at first. she hated you for being his alpha, but that wasn’t something that you had control over and since she and chan started dating, you could hear more harsh words directed your way. chan didn’t really care about it, something that upset the shit out of you, because okay, he didn’t love you and didn’t want to date you at all, but you were still his mate and he could at least defend you. one tiny bit at least.

changbin, one of the wolves in the gang caught you crying alone one night. he could hear you sobbing and trying to regain your breathing slowly. he didn’t know how to approach you. he was the closest wolf to you in the gang, someone you told all your secrets too and who knew you better than anyone, better than yourself. this friendship started because he saw how crystal started treating you and how chan was letting her do it, leaving everyone surprised at said action.

he came and hugged you and you immediately hugged him back, crying in his chest.

“i have a lot on my shoulders, bin. i don’t think i can do it anymore. he doesn’t care about me at all, i can see it. i know he must hate being my mate when he likes crystal, but that doesn’t me he can let her bully me all the time. i can’t even answer back because i know he’ll not be on my side even if he knows that he has to be because what she’s doing it’s just wrong”

changbin didn’t know what to say “sh, don’t say that. you’re really strong, i know that, i know you enough to know that you’re the strongest wolf in our gang, and if you could survive last time in that awful situation, you can overcome this, yeah?”

you nodded, trying to believe his words, even if it was impossible at the moment.

---

changbin and you were only growing closer together, something that for some reason that chan didn’t quite understand, bothered chan so much, to the point that when he was with crystal it was the only thing that he could think about, zoning out every single time, making crystal annoyed.

“what are you thinking about, love?” crystal asked him.

“nothing, crys” it was the answer he always gave her.

fast forward a couple of months, you and changbin were the best of friends. he was there to cheer you up every time you were upset because of crystal and chan, but you didn’t know what was happening behind your back.

chan and changbin had a late night meeting, due chan’s request. changbin came to his house, knowing what the conversation was going to be about, so he was relaxed, but he also new that a fight was going to happen most probably.

“can you tell me what the fuck are you doing with y/n the whole time?” chan asked.

“she’s my best friend, i’m her best friend, we’re spending time together” he simply said.

“you’re practically glued to the hip lately” chan said mad.

“and? what about it? are you jealous or something that she spends time with me” changbin bluntly asked. truth is that changbin was fucking tired of the situation. not because of you, but because of chan “for what i know, you were fucking glued to the hip too, but you dropped her the moment crystal came into your life”

chan gulped “jealous? me? of what?” he said “do i need to remind you that i’m in a relationship?”

“didn’t crystal break up with you just this morning because she was tired of you not paying attention to her lately? apparently since y/n and i became close friends, you have been neglecting her so much, too. and crystal ain’t stupid and is seeing what you don’t want to see”

“oh and can i know what does she see that i supposedly don’t want to see?”

“that you’re in love with y/n”

with that said, changbin left his room and went to his, thinking if he had done the right thing.

chan just stayed still in the room, the only hear that could be heard being his breathing. was he catching feelings for you? he maybe knew the answer a long time ago, but he didn’t want to admit since he was dating crystal. for him, you had always been hard to read, so if you ever had had feelings for him, he didn’t knew that.

---

since that day, his and changbin’s friendship was hanging by a thread. you questioned changbin about the downfall of his and chan’s friendship, but the only thing that you got from him was that it wasn’t important and not to give it much thought because sometimes friendships have downfalls and it doesn’t have to have a reason. you nodded, not believing a single word.

chan, on his side, was giving it a lot of thought. one thing that he realised was that changbin was right: he was in love with you. he probably had been since the first time he saw you but blocked his feelings. he had another problem: his friendship with changbin. apart from minho, he was his longest friend, and didn’t want to lose such a precious friendship.

he called him again to come up to his room. to his surprised, changbin appeared there.

“do you need anything?” changbin asked, harshly.

“yes. i- i want to say i’m sorry. i acted like an ass towards you when i shouldn’t have. you being friends with y/n has nothing to do with me and i understand why she and i stopped talking and it was because i was an absolute ass to her too. that’s the only thing that i’ve been lately, i don’t think i even deserve to be your alpha anymore” he said “to answer your question; yes, i’m in love with y/n and seeing her so close to you when it used to be like that with me hurt me. of course, it’s only my fault and the other night you gave me a wake up call. so again, sorry. i’d understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore, but i appreciate our friendship more than anything and i don’t want to give up without a fight.”

changbin was in silent, and chan thought that this meant that it was over, so he sighed in defeat.

“i forgive you. but there’s another person that you should ask forgiveness too, and that’s y/n. when i said you were an ass to her i meant it. since you and crystal started dating, you let crystal said the worst things to her, acting as if nothing was happening when it all was happening right in front of your eyes.”

chan nodded, and said that he would talk to you the next night. he had lots of thoughts to gather, to be able to have a real conversation with you involving what it was happening and how he would make it up to you. he was debating whether to confess to you or not, knowing that you would reject him and knowing that he should be happy if you even decided to stay in the gang.

---

chan had sent you a message, asking you to go up to his room to talk. at first you didn’t want to, but something in your heart was just telling you to go.

“hey, i’m here. did you want something?”

chan looked up, surprised “yes, yes i did. please, take a sit”

you did as he said, and waited for him to start talking. truth is you were as nervous as him, and you didn’t know if it was for the same reasons. you were still mates, and you also knew he wasn’t dating crystal anymore (though the reasons were unknown to you). you felt awful, but knowing he wasn’t dating her anymore give you a bit of happiness but that didn’t mean that you were going back to what you both once were.

“so… i- i don’t-“ he gulped and breathed “i’m sorry” he felt as if he was repeating last night “like really sorry. i treated you so bad and let crystal treat you like complete shit. i was blinded and only saw her as the good person. obviously it’s not her fault that i’m a fucking asshole. you’re my mate and not only that, but one of my closest friends, and i let everything go to waste because i was in love and that was the only thing i cared about”

he stopped to look at you, but you knew more was coming so you just nodded, letting him keep going “i had a big fight with changbin that made me open my eyes and almost lose him at the same time. the reason i broke up with crystal was because i realised what changbin told me was true, she treated you so bad and i just didn’t see it. or didn’t want to see it, i would say. i love that you’re my mate, believe that. i never meant to hurt you, that’s the last thing i had ever wanted to do”

“but you did”

“i know, and i’m so fucking sorry” he wanted to say he liked you, loved you even, but should he? “i like you. i really do. you’re the one who always stood by me during the past two years and even now, that you were in this situation, you always made everyone listen to me when you only probably wanted to cut my head off” he lightly laughed “i’d understand if you don’t want to, but i’d really want to start over and maybe you can give me a chance and go on a date with me?”

“chan… i’m gonna give you one more chance. only one. and not because i am not mad at you anymore, but because changbin went here, fought you, something i didn’t know by the way, and make you open your eyes, but if you do this shit once more, i’m gonna kill you myself”

“you can do that” he said, coming up to you and hugging you, giving you a kiss in the cheek. he knew he was doing things right now, and you knew this was only the beginning of something amazing.

#stray kids #skz #stray kids imagine #skz imagine #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #stray kids scenario #skz scenario #stray kids scenarios #skz scenarios #stray kids reaction #skz reaction #stray kids reactions #skz reactions #stray kids bang chan #skz bang chan #bang chan #stray kids angst #skz angst

169 notes · View notes

takuyakistall · 3 years

Text

romeo!

Chapter 1

Synopsis: Ace Trappola from the Trappola Kingdom, there was no doubt that he was a great man that was destined to achieve glory in a few years' time. But, there was one tiny problem. Being a prince from his own country meant that he needed to marry a lady from a prominent household. With much reluctance, he ended up choosing a princess from a neighbouring country—only to find out that the Prince of the Spade Kingdom has his eyes set on her as well. Is this... Competition?

Tags: Fem!Reader, Royalty AU, mentions of death, kidnapping, anything else you would find in a romance manhwa

Note: This piece is purely self indulgent and I plan on writing more for it! But I decided to share the first chapter here. There's no action yet so this is just some build-up.

Ace Trappola was never one to abide by the silly little rules of etiquette, he always thought that they were too nitpicky and stiff ever since he was a little boy. He thought that it was useless to keep up appearances for the sake of his reputation—until he experienced firsthand how cruel high society could be to a mere child who had made a single mistake. Of course, they would never dare to utter a single word in fear that their tongues would be cut off by his Highness, the king. But he would never ever forget the cold gazes that laid upon him as soon as he turned his back.

Which is why he donned a mask. He wore it all day and night as a child, hoping that it would be indestructible as he grew up but that brought him nothing but more of the empty and hollow feeling he hated. Despite already being so well-mannered, so educated, and so charming—he was nothing more than the second prince of the country who always seemed to be overshadowed by his older brother, the first prince. He was the definition of Ace's "perfect".

"Hey uncle," little Ace referred to his butler as such as he closed the storybook he was reading. A spark of curiosity sparkling in his eyes as he continued, "how do I become as amazing as my big brother?"

A childlike innocence could easily be tainted by those with such intentions—the old butler could easily plant the wrong ideas in his head and nurture the seeds of jealousy he planted within him. He stared at him for a second before letting out a sigh, strengthening his resolve when he saw Ace's eyes full of wonder.

"His Highness does not have to do anything, you are already a wonderful child just like your brother."

"Really!?"

"Of course, I wouldn't dare lie to you. If you continue to stay on the right path, I have no doubt that you will be as great as your brother in the future." He patted Ace's head, relieved that the second prince seemed to be satisfied with the answer.

"Yeah... I will!" He declared, staring right back at his butler with an uncontrollably big grin taking over his face.

That was the last time he saw that butler.

The palace staff told him he died because of heart failure during his day off. This devastated poor little Ace Trappola greatly—demanding to be allowed to attend his funeral but was stopped by his father, saying that there was no need for someone like him to attend a servant's funeral. The hand-picked white lilies Ace took that day in hopes of paying his respects, withered inside his room as he cried his heart out.

The next day, they had already found a replacement for his butler. Someone who was far younger than his previous one and was definitely less warm—he went by the name "Rowen" and insisted that the young prince should call him that. At first, Ace put up a fight as he tried to resist everything Rowen tried to do—even if it was just a menial task such as him trying to tie Ace's necktie for him.

But, nonetheless, Ace was still a child and children, more often than not, don't know how to deal with grief. You could easily spot him crying in places he shouldn't be yet no one had the heart to tell him that, even more when Rowen asked the palace staff specifically to not approach the prince if they ever spot him like that and instead, call for him immediately.

Stuck inside the garden, Ace was barely trying to keep his sobs in as he rubbed his eyes with his sleeves.

"I miss uncle…" He cried out, perhaps getting a little bit tired of how colder the palace seemed to be towards him. A pair of footsteps suddenly approached him, Ace quickly stood up and patted away all the dirt from his clothes so it seemed like he didn't cry but his swollen eyes were a dead giveaway.

"Your Highness, I was looking for you."

"Oh, Rowen. It's you…" A dejected look took over his face, was he expecting his old butler to appear? He silently crushed his hopes as he raised a question for his new companion.

"Can I ask you a question…?"

"Of course."

"D-Do you think I can still be as amazing as my big brother?" A few seconds of silence passed by as Rowen crossed his arms.

"Forgive me for my bluntness. However, at this rate, you will never amount to what your brother will be in the future."

"E-Eh? But uncle said that—"

"Your 'uncle' was foolish, perhaps that was why he died." Rowen crouched down, his green irises staring right into Ace's eyes—there was something in his eyes that Ace couldn't put a finger on but one thing is for sure, he thought Rowen was scary during this very moment.

"What you need right now is power," Rowen pressed a finger against his lips. "And that's exactly what I can give you."

"Power? Don't I already have plenty of that, I'm a prince!"

"What you need," he pushed Ace back with his index finger, "is enough power to take the throne."

"But big brother is the only one who can take that!" Ace shouted, trying to overpower the nonsense he was hearing from his new butler.

"Heed my words and I can make it happen." Rowen's lips tugged up into a small smirk before delivering his final words.

"After all, you want to be as great as your brother, the first prince."

Ace felt confused. He clutched his chest as he thought about his words—he did want to be as great as his brother but he couldn't help but be a little wary of what Rowen might ask of him. Ace had to slap himself back to reality, there was no reason for him to think about this so seriously! There was no way he could take the throne for himself and why would he even want to do that…? Isn't he happy the way he is right now?

Ace stepped out from the garden with Rowen following him shortly behind. He stared at the castle building, the maids and butlers working about, and a few noble visitors roaming around.

That was when a little devil's voice started whispering in his ear.

Deuce Spade had been anything but happy upon growing up inside the Royal Palace. Being the sole crown prince of the Spade Kingdom, his life never consisted of flowers and rainbows contrary to what many think. If you asked young Deuce himself about his position, he would simply give you a blank stare before properly processing your question. Once he does, he’ll give you a half-hearted smile before answering with: “It’s a duty I must fulfill.”

He’d never been too fond of the fact that his life was already planned ahead of him the moment the royal palace discovered his existence in his mother’s womb. He would undergo proper education fitting for the crown prince, he would be assigned with tasks that were meant for the crown prince, and he would soon rise to the throne once his father was no longer able to rule.

Rather than inheriting the throne, he yearned for something else. Being the heir to the throne meant that there was almost nothing he couldn’t obtain but he found himself dumbfounded when his elders aggressively denied him of his desire for the first time.

His desire to become a knight.

Deuce was said to be excellent with the art of the sword, easily surpassing other kids his age. But that was not the reason why Deuce had the desire to become a knight.

One of the first things they taught Deuce was the fact that he was in a dangerous position and that there might be cases wherein other people might make an attempt on his life. He thought that it was ridiculous because, after all, who would dare try to kill the crown prince? It would be treason!

And because of that, he was too lax.

One night, the prince got kidnapped and threw the whole palace in an uproar. Little Deuce could barely open his eyes when he tried assessing his surroundings, his eyes were blurry and he couldn’t move a muscle as no voice came out from his mouth. He was beyond terrified, he thought he was going to die that night. He pleaded inside his head, begging someone to come and find him. But for days, he was yet to be found.

He thought that perhaps the Royal Palace had decided to give up on him as he lost hope himself, his eyes growing dull and duller. He had to endure the harsh treatment given to him during his abduction, the only thing keeping him sane was the single ray of hope that someone was going to rescue him.

Just as he felt as if the thread was about to snap, he saw a cloaked man barge into the place where he was held hostage with a sword in hand. Ruthlessly, he cut down the perpetrators without so much as a blink. Deuce could only stare at the scene unfolding in front of him weakly. ‘Am I… being saved?’

It took him every ounce of his strength to stay conscious. And even more when he forced himself to ask the mysterious cloaked man. He wasn’t wearing anything that could discern his homeland, Deuce couldn’t figure out where he came from. His face was covered by the hood of the cloak, he couldn’t see his features very well. Deuce was afraid that there would be no way of him figuring out his identity before he passes out, so he forced a voice out of his throat.

“Who… are you?” His voice was hoarse. The man stayed silent, sheathing his sword before walking closer to the prince and unlocking the rope binding his hands together. Deuce could slowly feel himself losing consciousness but just before he could pass out, the man finally answered his question.

“...A knight.” He muttered.

The next time Deuce opened his eyes, he was no longer in a dark place but instead, in an unfamiliar yet extravagant room. He could tell that it was not the palace in his kingdom, he felt himself panic once again as he remembered the past events. When he heard a knock on his door, Deuce flinched as he hesitantly told them to come in.

A small girl around Deuce’s age entered the room with a plushie in her arms. He told himself to calm down upon seeing her, reassuring himself that the probability of this girl doing the same thing as the ones who kidnapped him were very low.

“Are you feeling better now, Your Highness?” She asked, concern lacing her voice. Deuce clutched his arm.

“Better than before… at least. But before that, who are you?” It was only normal for Deuce to become extremely wary considering what he just went through. The young girl understood that and merely gave him a small grin.

She introduced herself as the first princess of the kingdom he was residing in. Deuce was shocked, it wasn’t his own kingdom that found him but another! Did that mean that all this time he was in a foreign country? Was that the reason why no one had found him for days? Countless questions were swirling inside his head.

The princess was the only one who was let into his room, seeing as how Deuce was more comfortable seeing someone around his own age rather than adults. She was as clumsy as she was kind, Deuce found himself being comforted by her even if most of their meetings consisted of him being gloomy.

A few days later, an envoy was sent to Deuce’s kingdom to inform them that he was safe in their palace. During that period of time, Deuce was cooped up inside his room—thinking about a lot of stuff and refused to come out for hours. When it was time for him to go, he visited the princess one last time.

“Is it possible for me to visit you in the future?” Gratitude? Attraction? Personal interest? The reason behind his words was blurred.

When he returned home, he almost gave the whole Royal Court a heart attack when he declared that he wanted to become a knight. Nobody could tell what Deuce was thinking after he was abducted, it was as if he turned into an entirely different person. But he was thoroughly denied of his desire to become a knight, in which he was highly disappointed in. But, somehow, he found a way to secretly train without anyone finding out.

Using the princess as the shield, he went in and out of your kingdom to train under the pretense of meeting her. But she was more than happy to assist him as they became partners in crime. Deuce couldn’t forget the mysterious knight that saved him and so he idolized him ever since, saying how he wanted to be someone who protected people.

“Princess!” He called out, waving his hand as he grinned at her. This was the start of their relationship with each other. Only time can tell if this was to end happily ever after or otherwise.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst writing #fanfic #self indulgent takoyaki #twisted wonderland x reader #heartslabyul #twst deuce #deuce spade x reader #deuce x reader #deuce spade #twst ace #twisted wonderland ace #ace trappola #ace x reader #ace #fem!reader #chapter one so it's mostly. . . A backstory

94 notes · View notes

peeterparkr · 3 years

Text

memories & misconceptions|tom holland

prologue: the summer flashback

song: enough for you-olivia rodrigo

↳ read Kat’s version here and Tom’s conversation with Kat. (Harry fic)

So, it’s here. Finally. I’m beyond excited for this. We’ve been working on this for so ong but we are super excited to shared this with you! This is a 2 fics in one, meaning I’ll write Tom’s fic and @erodasghosts will write a Harry Styles fic. It’s a choose your y/n, let’s say. The y/n for Tom will be named Thea on Harry’s fic, and Harry’s y/n is named Kat in this one. The stories are connected, it’s a group of friends living in an old town. This is all a flashback.

Feedback and reblogs are very appreciated.

STORY SUMMARY: Not every relationship can last forever, but what decides when it ends? Is it the memories of when things were, or is it the misconceptions of the present. What is stronger in matters of the heart when love and friendship becomes a choice? Does pride dim our devotion enough for it to be forsaken? And is obstinacy strong enough to erase the memory of a hopeful summer night? When a group of friends are reunited after years of unspoken truths and turbulent grudges, old arguments and fights might ricochet, and though their history might be dense enough to drown them, it might be the one thing to keep them afloat.

chapter summary: The heartbreak of a teenage unrequited lover or when one summer confession led to a disaster. pairing: band member! tom holland x y/n friends to enemies to strangers to lovers idiots to lovers

warnings: mentions of cigarettes, angsty, ish. word count: 9.3k

story masterlist.

next chapter

wanna be tagged?

Summer is known for romances, romances that spark and shoot like stars, romances that might start on an uneventful afternoon and end with the morning, giving you a night of memories, with innocent evenings full of wonder and hope. Secrets are hidden, songs are written but they say summer romances end for a reason or other. It’s no wonder, summer comes and goes, and the starry nights just flash upon your eyes. It is rare for a summer romance to ever achieve more than spilled bottles of wine or scattered empty packs of cigarettes. Summer romances are but for one’s memory.

Summer romances don’t last.

Summer romances are known to end in the blink of an eye as the sun fades. Or as the last star leaves in the morning. They go so easily.

Luckily, this isn’t a summer romance story. Though, we might want to agree, that there was one particular summer that could've been one.

Summer was usually the best time to open your heart. And you had tried to open it. And to your eyes, it could’ve been something more. Yet. Maybe the heartbreak was necessary, and you would know years later that it was all worth it. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.

You usually loved summers, it was the perfect time to spend time with your friends, Kat, Harry, Andrew… and Tom.

Friends who will remain friends for more than a summer, who have been friends for even more.

This is the story of memories that were built in misconceptions, of a friend group that fell apart when they needed each other the most. Of a friend group that spoke too much or didn’t speak at all.

One could argue it all started in one particular summer, only with one conversation that led to the chaos that happened years later.

Yet, that summer felt special. The one that had built the most memories that would be ingrained in your heart.

It’s fair to point out now, a summer fling might be easily perceived as a romance. The misconception of the concept often comes as a mistake. You, fair to point out as well, were a victim of misconceptions.

Yet, maybe you had been inspired by your own very friends. Seeing them falling in love with each other had been an inspiration. Harry and Kat. A summer romance that could be presumed to be something else. Something for a lifetime, perchance.

Maybe the secret for a summer romance to last is not to have the romance in summer, but the buildup. What Harry and Kat were doing.

Your own faulty thinking had led you to believe you could experience a summer romance like theirs. It wasn’t even a summer fling.

Yet, it was summer, and nothing more.

Good, however, because summer romances end with it. It wasn’t even a summer romance, yet Tom had ended it with one single sentence.

Harry and Kat were upstairs, in Harry’s room, Tom and you had decided to stay downstairs, while you finished your own cup of tea.

You hadn’t given an answer to the statement that had just shattered your heart minutes ago. You had thanked yourself for not being holding the teacup, for you might have dropped it. But you had dropped his hand, hand you were playing with just as he stated the ending to your fantasy. You felt like you’d never been more at loss to try and make your feelings be what they were not. Though, you were not sure why your heart had shattered. You were meant to smile, even if you were about to cry.

He was your friend. First and foremost. That’s what you were meant to do, support him.

You gripped your teacup as you only waited for an explanation. Not from him, but from your own heart. Why was it aching?

Why was Tom’s statement bothering you? And why had you remained quiet?

It was no secret that his smile caused yours, or that his laughter easily merged with yours. Maybe hearing the sentence he had just said had proven to you how wrong you were, perchance it was only one sided. But Tom was a friend, he’d been your friend for a long, long, long time now.

He only watched you. Expecting you to say anything, anything.

Not every day you hear… a friend saying he has feelings for your best friend. Tom had feelings for Kat. That had come as a big surprise for you, given the summer you had had with him.

“I have feelings for Kat,” he had said. He had dared to say.

Not every day, you hear the person you’d been willing to give up all your dreams for say he is interested on your own best friend. Not after the summer you had had.

Not that it was… interesting enough. Apparently.

How had the conversation led there? Only a few minutes before you had been begging him to play Dreams by The Cranberries that night at Grandma’s, and he had said he would only if you sang it, the song that had defined that summer for you both.

Yet he had stopped your fantasy.

They had been hanging out together, for sure, Kat and Tom. But so had you and Harry. And you and Andrew.

But you and Tom. Maybe you had been foolish for thinking about it.

You were friends, but—

“Oh?” you had finally said, you only took a sip from your tea. You offered him a warm smile trying to erase whatever expression you had before. “Really? You… You… You have feelings for Kat? That’s… new.”

He had feelings for your best friend when you’d been making a fool of yourself for him. This had been your fault. And you weren’t even sure why it was your fault. Why were you feeling this way?

Tom seemed to be confused with your reaction. “Yeah… I… I think we’re really alike.”

You tried not to actually feed on your real emotions. “Right.” You gave him another smile.

He eyed down the teacup. “You always leave lipstick stains everywhere,” he pointed out as your lips were pressed against the cup. “Red here—Red there.“

You bit your lip, and glanced at the teacup. “Yeah,” you were trying not to be hurt about this all. “So,” you kept watching him, more curiously now. “Kat? Hm, makes sense. You’ve been spending a lot of time with her.”

Tom glued his eyes back to yours, “yeah, okay,” he scratched his head. “Yeah, she—she understands me. And I don’t have to—“

“But what about Harry?” You whispered then. Knowing his very best friend would be upstairs with Kat. Being cute or whatever they did when they were alone.

Tom coughed, “Yeah, that’s the issue. But…” Tom raised his own empty cup, letting it hang from his finger. “Do you… I mean, think about it, they are so different, eh?”

“Yeah, well different is good,” you said. “I mean, we are so different, and we get along just fine. We are ...very good friends.” Though there was a hidden meaning behind that sentence.

Tom took a deep breath, avoiding your glance. “But, look, I have... You and Harry, you guys get along well, because you both are so alike, alright?”

“Ew, no, are you suggesting—“

“No, I… I know you and Harry are just friends… and Kat might…” Tom was nervous. “But, in the long run,” he took a deep breath. “I mean—Look, we get along fine but—Those two—“

“Harry’s your best friend,” you stated before he could continue. “Tom—Thomas you know how Harry feels about Kat. And I’m sure Kat… feels the same.”

Harry and Tom were just like you and Kat. Best friends. So it came as a surprise Tom was saying this, letting past the summer you had had with him, with you both smoking from the same cigarette, your head on his shoulder every time you needed to rest it, your lips leaving red marks in his own cups, or sometimes on his cheek. Driving with windows down to talk about anything and nothing. Watching movies to memorize the lines, and memorizing the melody of his smile. Blushing every time he looked into your eyes or brushing your hand against his any time you could.

Watching Kat and Harry fall in love, slowly as they kept sneaking around, clearly trying to make the friendship try and become something else. With Harry stating the obvious and Kat growing past the need of hiding her own sentiments.

Why was Tom standing there saying he liked Kat? When his own very best friend had opened his heart so abruptly to her. Did he dismiss it? Was he so selfish?

And did this summer when you both planned your dreams meant absolutely nothing?

And his best friend. His very best friend was in love with Kat.

Tom sighed. “But what if… I just…” He rubbed his temple. “I dunno.”

You waited for him to keep talking. You needed him to walk you through this. Had he not played songs to you all summer? Or held you tight when the five friends watched a horror movie? Had you not lied to your dad to sneak out at nights with him? Had you not laughed until you ran out of breath? Had you not written so many songs for and about him? Or talked with him about everything and nothing having those talks that seem to go forever?

Did he not know your deepest fears now? And what for?

Had that not… been enough? How blinded had you been for this?

And why did that even matter? You couldn’t care less about him. Or… rather, you only cared for him as a friend. So it made no sense why you were so heartbroken. Why was your chest crushing your heart?

You decided to speak again, “Harry’s asking her out today, Thomas.”

Because although Harry didn’t hide his feelings he had finally earned the courage to try and make it official. Or rather… he finally thought Kat was ready.

“Is that all you’re saying?” He questioned.

Tom and Kat were very similar, they were quiet and reserved. Scared of showing any emotion. Tom loved living in his own world where remorse and melancholy were the only two acceptable emotions. It was hard for him to show anything, and you had accepted that, knowing that he was such a mysterious person. It was fun trying to discover him, as if you were unlocking layers.

With Kat, you had been used to it, already. Your best friend loved pushing her feelings aside. So of course, you had learned not to make them push it.

Perhaps that had led you not to push Tom, knowing he’d—be bothered. And now this was another confirmation as to why, for the first time, you would push your feelings aside.

Harry and you, on the other hand, were loud and sharing. For both of you, life was pink and everything had to be a show. Everything. You both believed in feelings being showcased. Harry and you both often fought for the spotlight.

It was funny, how mirroring Harry and Tom were to you and Kat. And how ironic it was Harry fell for the female version of his best friend.

And how you… would deny everything for the first time.

You shrugged, “what else would I, Thomas? Are you a complete moron? That’s your best friend upstairs and my best friend!”

“Which is why—don’t you think—Kat would be happier with someone like me?” Tom questioned.

You waited for him to elaborate, eyes glued on him.

He cleared his throat. “I—someone who won’t push her to—show her feelings, someone who understands that—Someone who isn’t too much.”

Too much. You swallowed those words. Too much. Tom often said you and Harry were so, so similar. He acknowledged it, too. His best friend and you probably were, that’s why you and Harry got perfectly fine. But too much? What was that supposed to mean? You were too much? Was he trying to say that?

“Aren’t you best friends with Harry? Am I not best friends with Kat?” You pushed. “Kat brings the best in me, and Harry brings the best in you.”

“But it’s a friendship,” Tom said. “What if—Kat gets overwhelmed with Harry? Or what if Harry gets bored of Kat? How bad of a heartbreak would that be for her?”

You only stared at him, once again. Fidgeting with your cup.

“You don’t support this,” Tom said.

“Yeah, um.. you can like whoever you want, there’s nothing wrong in liking someone, I actually encourage you to have some feelings,” you said, with venom. “And I understand why you like Kat, she is very beautiful, she’s got a great personality and you are both very similar. Too similar.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Tom said, looking away. Did he feel guilty? “But also,” he continued. “I—Well.”

“You’re a moron, he is your best friend, besides this summer-” you cut off the sentence and shook your head. “Why are you telling me this?” You asked.

Tom Pressed his lips, and took a deep breath. “Because—“Tom shrugged. “I dunno, I trust you, you’re my friend, you—we have gotten closer right? I mean we’ve—I— and you—Maybe you can help me out with Kat.”

You wanted to scream. “Help you out with my best friend who I know who she has feelings for? When that guy happens to be your very best friend? When that guy happens to be upstairs? When that guy happens to be my friend, too? And he likes her back? You’d have to be a proper idiot.”

“I— really like Kat, and Harry, I know him, he probably will do something big, you know? Just to ask her out, and—He makes a big deal of everything-”

“Because he is in love with her!” You stated. “He wants the best for her, and you should know that. Your love language might be non-existent, but Harry’s is…showing affection in big romantic gestures, and that’s the thing, y’know? Yes, he goes big but because he thinks that’s what Kat deserves, and she does!”

“I know she does but—He hasn’t taken the time to know her, and I have—Look, it’s complicated.”

You had crossed your arms upstairs. “Your best friend—“

“I know,” he answered. “But—I—look, this summer—“

“This summer?”

You heard a car honk outside. Andrew, the fifth member to the friend group, often a savior to this kind of situation, was here already. You did not want to speak to Tom right now, he was being selfish and an idiot. Did he not notice how heartbroken you were?

And you didn’t even care about your own heart, if he didn’t… No, if the summer that you had spent meant nothing to him, then there was nothing you could do. Maybe in another life, or in another time, something would’ve gone differently.

Maybe it had never been meant to be at all, and you had built in an idea from an illusion and it was easier to live in your own fantasy.

You avoided him, and went to the door, with your whole body shrinking, your head spinning. How was he so selfish? His own best friend loved Kat. How dare he?

You needed to avoid your own heavy heart hanging from your chest, so broken.

“Y/N,” Tom tried following after you.

You had seen Andrew slam the door after getting out of his step brother’s car, Nicholas. Someone who you didn’t care about at all. But—right now you needed an escape and there was Nicholas, in that old car he drove.

Andrew seemed pissed yet you still decided to approach Nick. Knowing damn well it would piss off Tom.

Andrew gave you a funny look. You decided to kiss Andrew’s cheek before turning to his step brother's car. Wondering if Tom was watching you.

Seemed that your sole goal was to enrage him.

“Hey, thanks for dropping Andrew,” you said as you leaned over to the window.

Nick chuckled. “I was forced to.”,

“I know,” you gave him an apologetic smile. “but still thanks.”

Nicholas had always been of mostly everyone’s interest. Typical blue eyed brown haired boy with pretty features. He was… popular, which meant he was only bothered by his brother and his lack of popularity. Or different popularity he was offered.

Your friend group had never been of interest to become popular, you rather enjoyed being left alone to your own shenanigans. You had more fun than them, that is. You knew, however, that there was some sort of popularity involved in your group, probably because of Harry.

Nicholas watched you, unaware of what exactly were your intentions on approaching him. “Nice to see you—y/n.”

“yeah,” you said carelessly. “You too, Nicholas.”

“You’re the only decent one in his group of friends, huh?” He dedicated a smile to you.

“Y/N,” you heard Tom call.

You ignored him and a very weird thought came to your mind, as you were leaning on the window, maybe you could hop in and escape from Tom, ask Nick to drive you away from the heartache. How dramatic would it be to escape from your heartbreak on a car. “Well, we are not that bad,” you said. “and—Well, the reason why I’m approaching you…” you reminded yourself again. “I don’t know if Andrew told you, my friends—Harry and Tom, they’re playing tonight at my grandma's cafe, they’ve got a band.”

Nick seemed confused about your statement. “ah, and you want me there?”

You smiled warmly. “Yeah, would be cool if you came, I’m inviting everyone, the more the merrier, you can bring your friends… I just want everyone to see them they’re really good.”

“Are they?” Nick rolled his eyes.

You beamed nodding, “Yeah, Tom’s great with the guitar, and Harry’s a really good singer, plus they’re singing a few songs I wrote,” you explained, kindly even if the guy was probably dying to mock you.

“Are you seriously inviting me?” Nick asked. “Don’t you hate me?”

“Yeah, I am inviting you,” you insisted with a smile. “And I don’t hate anybody.”

Maybe Tom. Momentarily.

His sight changed, and his smirk turned into a genuine smile followed by an eye roll. “I—might drop by with some friends then. But, since you invited me, I might need to spend some time with you there.”

“We’ll see, see you.”

You turned on your feet. Tom was staring at you, incredulous. Just as Andrew, who was confused by the matters of it. You ignored them both and walked back into the house.

“Y/N,” Tom called.

“Andrew, darling, would you mind helping me clean up?” You called.

Tom walked to you. “You didn’t seriously just invite Dickolas?” Tom questioned you.

You didn’t bother looking at him. “Yeah, why not?

Andrew scoffed, “You’re really asking?” Andrew hissed.

“Because he’s a dickhead,” Tom snapped.

Tom was probably the one to hate Nick the most, probably because he saw Andrew as his own brother.

“I’m sure he will behave,” you said. “Besides, your band, Thomas, needs to have a younger audience, not a bunch of old farts and your families.” You then remembered your friend. “Does it bother you, Andrew?” You asked.

“Yes,” Tom answered.

“Andrew?” you emphasized.

Andrew took a deep breath. “No, I guess, you’re right.”

Tom watched you. “Whatever. I don’t think he’s coming anyway.”

Andrew stared at Tom. “Please, y/n invited him, of course he’s coming,” he said, annoyed.

“What is that supposed to mean?” You asked.

Andrew smirked and then glanced at Tom. “It means hurry the fuck up,” he warned him.

Tom flipped Andrew off.

“Where’s Kat and Harry?” Andrew asked.

“Upstairs, being adorable and such,” you said as you took the teacups to the sink.

Tom was still watching you. “You are literally betraying Andrew by inviting Dickolas, that’s being a shitty friend.”

You spun on your feet and made your way to him. “Oh,” you poked him repeatedly, accusingly. “so you do understand the concept of friendship.”

Tom avoided your gaze, “Y/N. That is different.”

“You’re right, your betrayal is worse!” But you were not sure who he was a traitor to.

Andrew frowned. “What betrayal?”

“She’s being overdramatic,” Tom snapped.

You could not believe him. “Am I?” You crossed your arms, but then pushed him away as he was trying to grab your arms to calm down. “You’ve got to be pissing me—You realize you’re being completely stupid—“

“Tom’s always stupid,” Andrew commented.

Maybe you were overreacting. “After all this summer, after—“But then again you had a reason. “You are literally betraying your very best friend—“

Tom grabbed your hand and pulled you close to him as he shushed you, “Hey, sh, sh, please!”

You only glared at him, snatching your hand from him. Did he— really not see all of this?

Andrew stared between you both, confused. “Yeah, I’m not gonna go through this whole mommy and daddy are fighting, I’m gonna go upstairs and interrupt the other two, hope they’re not making out.” He stated before leaving.

Tom frowned and turned to you the second Andrew had left, “so you were willing to spill my secret—“

“Andrew’s your friend.”

“I don’t want him to know,” Tom snapped. He had never snapped at you.

“Why? Because you know he will call you out for being a dick?” And you had never snapped back, and you had never called him that.

Tom was as surprised as you were. “did you—just call me a dick?”

“Yes.” But you would stand by it.

He was puzzled. Probably was confused as to how you’d gone from giggling and blushing while making the tea to—this. “why? You never—“

“because you are one!” You stated. Did he understand what you were feeling? And did he not understand how big of a jerk and a prick he was for dismissing his best friend?

“Yes, well you’re being a bigger dick for inviting Dickolas,” he hissed. “you literally know he has been such an asshole to Andrew lately.”

You avoided his glance. He had never spoken to you that way. “They’ve been getting better.”

They hadn’t .

“They haven’t and you know that,” Tom snarked.

You didn’t answer. Yes, it was wrong. But if you were honest. You already believed Nick was… misunderstood and often pushed around by his mother. Andrew had always agreed with you that his mother was the true enemy. Andrew’s father and Nicholas mother had decided to marry, only a few months back so Andrew was adjusting to the new life with his step brother. That wasn’t going well.

“You shouldn’t have invited him,” Tom pushed.

“But he’s popular,” you said.

“So are you and Harry! And I—I don’t really need anyone else there,” Tom said.

Nana, your grandmother, had given them the chance to play at her café. Probably your second favorite place to hang out after the treehouse.

“You do! Besides, I… This isn’t for you, okay?” You said.

He blinked. “What?”

“I need… My dad told me nobody cared so by inviting more people I am showing him I can-” You sighed.

Tom closed his eyes, “Is this what that’s about? Y/N--You can’t keep”

“My dad thinks Nick is a good person,” you sighed. “He has been working this summer with him and-”

“That's got to be bullshit. He thinks Dickolas is a good person and yet he--doesn’t believe I’m a good influence” Tom questioned.

Well, to be fair, your dad believed Tom to be a bad boy. He wasn’t. He tried to seem like one, with his leather jackets and cigarettes and his band and everything… edgy. Yet, Tom was sweet, or at least he was sweet to you. Your dad believed the guy to only be playing with your heart, which was ironic now, since… Well. He had spent a whole summer with you and ended up liking someone else. Your dad wasn’t fond of him. And you weren’t either, in this particular moment.

You’d grown up with this life ahead of you, this picture perfect future you wanted. A happy family, not like the one you had. You wanted to have what you didn’t, so your dad believed that Tom was ruining that dream for you.

“You’re ruining his perfect daughter,” you rolled your eyes. “You smoke.”

Tom rolled his eyes, “so do you!” He scrunched his nose and rolled his eyes. “And you’re changing the subject. I know you didn’t invite Nick for that.”

Tom probably knew you were doing to piss him off. “You need more people, Tom!”

“Well not Nick!” Tom snapped, again.

“Why not?” You questioned.

“Because it’s Dickolas, y/n, he… he is a dick,” Tom explained.

You looked up with poison, “and you aren’t?” You snapped.

“I mean, they both are,” a third voice came to the room. Kat. “Why would we want to put up with two dicks?”

Your heart stopped as you turned to see your best friend coming into the room. You looked between her and Tom with fear. Tom had gone stiff, too. He swallowed hard, and you were glaring at him. But you needed to go past your own emotions. Kat perfectly knew how to read you and you didn’t want her reading you right now. You needed to hide your heartbreak and anger.

You cleared your throat in an attempt to shift your posture. “Oh, haven’t thought about that, then Tom doesn’t have to come,” you snaked.

Tom scrunched his nose. “it’s literally my band?”

Kat walked over to you, “Maybe so but y/n makes a point, seems like an even trade with them,” she grinned at you.

You smirked, thankful your best friend had taken your side without even thinking about it. “See?” You crossed your arms. “Besides, I really do think that more people seeing you guys would be better, I don’t think a bunch of old farts is a great audience for your wanna be farty band.” You were really just throwing shots at Tom right now, knowing it would hurt him. He did look somehow hurt at you. You avoided his gaze. “Anyway, I need to… go talk to Harry.”

You started to walk away

Tom feared. “about what, exactly?” He clenched his jaw.

You raised your brows, and shrugged before poisoning, looking over your shoulder. “The power of friendship.”

Tom glared.

You yanked.

“Are you two… okay?” Asked Kat, watching between the both of you. Probably sensing the tension.

“No,” you sincered but then dedicated her a smile. “Thanks for asking, see you there my great friend and…” you eyed Tom up and down. “Tom.”

You left but heard Kat ask him. “What the fuck did you say to her?”

You were determined to run upstairs but Kat followed after, so you had to keep on with the facade.

“Wait, Thea, what’s going on?” Kat asked, because you knew no matter how much you tried to hide it from her, Kat would know.

“What? Nothing, he's just being an idiot…” You said, still trying to hide it. “Wait what’s…” You also could read your friend’s expression. Her flushed cheeks, her eyes shining. She probably had the best of news. Had Harry finally told her how he felt? “What happened with Harry? Why are you blushing?” You gushed. “Did you kiss?” you grinned, and for a moment your heartbreak was fone.

“Wait, what? I’m… “ She cleared her throat, and tried to hide the big smile. “No, we didn’t kiss, but…”

You smirked. “But?”

She rolled her eyes, still trying to mask her excitement. “You’re just avoiding whatever happened with Tom.”

You were. “Nothing happened.” Untrue. “But you’re the one avoiding whatever happened with Harry, please!” You pushed her jokingly. “You guys were there for about…an eternity, what happened? You’re smiling like an idiot!” You teased your friend.

“I am not avoiding it, I’m actually happy to share but I’m just concerned for you…”She watched you. “Was I really blushing, though?”

You gave her a cheeky grin. “Well, what happened?”

“I’m expecting to hear about Tom later, but… “ She couldn’t stop smiling. “Harry wrote this new song, and he was playing it for me… he seemed pretty nervous to share, and I guess it… I mean, it seemed to… be about me?”

You screamed, because what else is there to do when your friend tells her her crush wrote a song about her?

A song which you knew the existence of already, might be good to point out now. Harry had told you everything he had planned for Kat, and it was absolutely romantic. After the summer they had had, it was bound to come. Harry was completely mesmerized with her, and you knew Kat had feelings for him too.

Maybe you’d grown too deep into their reality that you confused it with your fantasy with Tom, which apparently was merely that. Your own stupid imagination. But you’d deal with the heartbreak later.

“And? What did you do?” You smiled at her.

“I… I mean, we were close to kissing before Andrew had interrupted…”She dropped the news like it was nothing. “And then on my way out I gave him my lipstick, like he had mentioned in the song.”

You chirped, and tried to hide your giggles. At least she was getting somewhere with this stupid summer. “Shut up, you should’ve bloody kissed him in the moment you twit!” You pushed her jokingly.

Kat’s eyes shined with hope. “I know, and we had been so close!

There was some sort of jealousy growing inside you. Not that you blamed Kat, or Harry. You blamed Tom for making you so foolishly believe anything. But that didn’t matter. Your friend was getting somewhere. And you were so happy for her. You wouldn’t dare to bring down her excitement. “And how do you feel about this? Are you finally admitting it? That you fancy his stupid ass?” You teased her, wiggling your eyebrows at her.

She clenched her jaw with a hidden smirk. “Well I never said that, did I? And I could’ve chosen much worse, like Tom or something.”

Kat didn’t know. There was no possible way for her to know what was going on. But she probably was trying to dig up whatever happened with him. Kat often didn’t have to ask what you felt and she knew. Just one look. This was her way to crack you.

And she did. “Fuck him,” you stated, proudly.

Kat widened her eyes with surprise, but nodded in acceptance. “So you’re cussing now, what happened?”

You cussed only when it was needed. “What happened is that you almost kissed Harry and you’re being stupid and avoiding it. So, what’s up with that?” You were the one avoiding your situation.

But what would you even say? To admit anything would mean finally saying out how how you...felt for Tom, and that would make it real, and then what else? That he liked her? And what would that mean to you? Were you being selfish.

Kat didn’t buy it. “Hmm, sure, that’s all,” she watched skeptically. “But I don’t mean to avoid it, for once, it’s just that Andrew came in. After the show, though, maybe I can get my lipstick back from him, you know?”

You licked your lips. “I’m pretty sure he wanted the lipstick, so then, how about when he gives it back, you use it so he can actually taste it,” you puckered your lips to make fun of her, then proceeded to make annoying kissing noises.

Kat tried to ignore them, rolling her eyes, but you could see she was trying to hold a laugh. “Anyway, I’ll tell you how that goes!” She looked away. “You’re sure you don’t want to ride with Tom and I?”

“I’d rather jump off a cliff,” you stated quickly, without even thinking about it. “No… I’m joking, I… I just need to talk to Harry about one of the songs… But I’ll see you guys there.” You didn’t mean to shut her off but you really didn’t feel okay.

She seemed slightly hurt. “Uhm, yeah, alright.”

“Yeah, and if you get the chance, please break his neck,” you smiled.

She looked you in the eyes, she was worried. How broke did you actually look. But she gave in, “I’d take any excuse to do that, but I do expect an explanation once I’ve done it.”

“It’s nothing, Katherine,” yet it came off slightly rude. You were hurting. “See you in a bit.”

You turned around, more determined. You knew Kat was probably upset. But you kept walking.

You had to stop right outside Harry’s closed door. You took a deep breath as soon as you knew nobody could see you.

To deal with the heartbreak you were denying to have was not simple. To fall in love with someone you’re so different from might be one of the foolish ways to ruin your own heart. It is jumping into the abyss without a parachute just for a view that’ll only last for a few seconds. It’s crossing the street with your eyes closed. Walking into the woods knowing you are going to get lost, never knowing if you’ll ever make it to the clear. It’s ruining yourself a million times. Yet it’s worth it, for some time at least.

But to fall in love with someone who will never love you back. It’s simply stupid.

You swallowed your words, your pride and your hurt. You knew you’d probably end up crying later that night. Hoping it would rain so your tears rhymed to the storm. Your chest hurt, as you tried to breathe in, leaning against the door to gain back your balance. With a hand to your heart, and the other one covering your mouth. You tried not to let it hurt but it simply did.

You’d keep it for yourself and you would never admit it out loud, that you had dared to open your heart just slightly. Why would you ever admit to anyone that you were ruined by him?

You’d get over it, eventually. You’d be happy. Just not today, and that was okay. And you wished he was happy, too. That wasn’t true. You didn’t wish that for him.

You’d resist the temptation to ever cease the wonder if you’d done something wrong, or maybe you just hadn’t been enough even when you’d tried to be the one perfect for him. Vain it had been all your stupid attempts to listen to the music he did, or coming up with little lies to your dad, or hiding that sparkle in your eyes when he walked into the room. Too stupid to think you deserved his love. Too stupid to try and prove you were worthy of his love. He was fire, and skies and wind and that you could be too, if he wanted you to be.

But it didn’t matter now, he liked Kat. Tom avoided showing any feelings, so for him to be stating he liked Kat, it was a big step. You were proud, you guessed. He finally gave in to feelings.

So you had to save your broken heart and put it in a drawer and smile. You cleaned up the single tear that had gone down your cheek and then pinched your cheeks just slightly to get that usual blush on your face. You decided not to knock on the door and simply walk in, as if you hadn’t just been on the verge of tears before.

But he wore jeans and t-shirts, so you’d get over his stupid ass and his stupid guitar. Even if that meant breaking his guitar, you know, for fun… But as an accident. No. You wouldn’t. But it would be fun. To break it like he broke your heart.

“Hey, losers,” you said, seeing as Harry stopped pacing around his room to stare at you. His eyes had a spark, he was blushing.

Fuck, was everyone in love and loved? Well, at least not Tom. He’d be broken hearted because Kat had brain cells and loved Harry.

“What are you doing here?” He questioned. Though he was confused, you noticed it, the bright eyes, the blushed cheeks.

“I’ll ride with you.”

Harry took a deep breath, but then chuckled. “Why did you suddenly decide to stay, princess?” Harry frowned.

“I’d rather drive with you, Tom always plays weird music, and I hate him,” you answered Harry.

Harry watched you, “That makes… two of us but, princess, there’s no need to hate, we all shall love, because love? Is a very splendid thing y/n, why do you think there are so many love songs? Love is like flying, and like-”

“Love sucks,” you snapped, plopping on Harry’s bed beside Andrew. Andrew watched you. “And love songs suck more. Everything is stupid. I hate you all,” you said and then picked up Harry’s pillow to hide your face under it. “No, I mean,” you shook your head, muffled. “Sorry, I’m tired, I… talked to Kat and she seemed to… Love the song.”

Harry giggled. Giggled? Seriously. “Of course she did, everything was going… perfect but then Andrew decided to ruin it. But it’s still perfect, because everything is butterflies and it feels like a summer breeze but princess, you’re ruining it, too! Y/N! You were supposed to distract Kat!”

You were. Harry had asked his best friend and you to keep Kat busy so she wouldn’t suspect whatever he was planning.

But you clearly didn’t want to be with Tom. His presence would wound your own heart and your heart was very delicate. “Yes, uh, Tom will… Tom will take care of that,” you sassed. “Oh yes he will,” you hissed.

Was it wrong? Maybe you should’ve gone. Tom was stupid enough to try something with Kat. But Kat wasn’t stupid. She’d probably throw him off a cliff and you’d be perfectly fine with that. You could push him yourself. Were there any cliffs around?

Harry seemed nervous and he never usually was. “Are-are-you sure? I don’t want Kat suspecting—“

“Suspect? The song gave it away, idiot, you should’ve asked already! Besides, if I spend two minutes more with him I’m going to scream..”

Andrew cleared his throat. “See? Told you.”

You eyed Andrew before hitting him with the pillow, you stood and decided to sit in front of Harry’s keyboard. Writing a song about a heartbreak was the best option, but this wasn’t the time so you just tickled some notes. “But I’m here to help Harry get ready.”

“So you’re staying to help Harry out with his outfit? Is that why you’re staying?” Andrew asked.

“I need to scream, and yell at someone and Harry was my choice,” you admitted to Andrew.

“Fair enough, I think that’s proper, yelling at Harry,” Andrew commented.

“I’m kind of trying to get ready,” Harry stated. “Mind leaving the yelling for another time?”

You stared at the keyboard, knowing damn well that music might be the one savior you needed to get through it, but the lack of courage you were facing right now was only intriguing. You were hurting.

“So, she liked the song.” You grinned instead. Even if you already knew what had happened.

Harry grinned, “Well, of course she did, it was… Fuck, everything is going perfect right now, it’s just all coming together, I’ve got to admit I was kind of... Nervous. But,” Harry smirked, pulling a lipstick from his pocket. “I now have this, and luckily I’ll get to know how it tastes tonight.”

Of course Harry would come up with the same stupid joke as you.

Andrew blinked, confused. “Are you going to put it on?”

“He means he wants to kiss her, idiot,” You cleared out to your friend, and turned to Harry. “So, she seemed to like this straightforward thing.”

Harry smirked, “I was surprised by that, but guess someone in the relationship had to step in. I thought she didn’t… know.”

“I reckon she knows it’s about her,” you admitted.

“I made it pretty obvious, and then she gave me her lipstick and I…we almost kissed.” Harry was swooning.

“Oh, so that’s why she was blushing,” you chuckled. Hearing the whole thing again just made you feel even more lonely. “Splendid, I’m so happy for you both!”

Even when you were against love and romance at the moment, that didn’t mean you weren’t happy for your best friend. And for Harry. Because they made sense. The fact that Tom had completely erased the fact that Harry and Kat were perfect angered you more than the fact he had completely dismissed your own attempts to… get somewhere with him.

How casually cruel, though, you’d been very obvious with your sentiments, and to have Tom walk all over your heart. He was so incredibly selfish.

Harry was all over the moon, you could tell, the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled. The subtle pink on his cheeks. You didn’t blame him. Kat was spectacular. Very main character vibes. The kind of girl that was not… typical. Kat was caring, and kind. And Kat was probably too curious to learn about Harry, which probably was Harry’s favorite subject to talk about.

Kat was the kind of girl people often took a second glance at, too intriguing. Too mysterious. With a smile that was hard to get but brightened the whole room when it came around. Smart, funny. She was… the whole deal.

Of course Harry was in love with her, and of course Tom would be driven to her, as well. The girl deserved any kind of attention directed her way. You guessed you should’ve seen it coming.

But that didn’t mean Tom wasn’t an idiot and that you’d be completely unreasonable. You had to be. You were broken hearted. He had given you a summer full of illusion just to break it right now. He deserved to be pushed off a cliff.

Harry beamed, as his eyes brightened even more. “I just want to kiss her already,” he commented as he walked to his bathroom, singing loudly to himself.

Andrew approached you, “So, what happened with Tom?”

Another one asking. You were so at a loss at trying to seem alright. “Nothing,” you snapped.

“Y/N, yesterday you were being adorable and shit, you guys were fucking clearly flirting, trying to kiss his bloody cheek just to be petty about his comment on leaving red lips everywhere, and today I come here and you are glaring and yelling? Something had to bloody happen!” Andrew pointed out. “So don’t try to fuckin’ trick me.”

That was the thing. Yesterday you could’ve sworn you were—getting to be friendlier. Maybe something even more, yet today he dropped the stupid bomb.

“Well.” You couldn’t phrase it. “I was not flirting.”

Andrew scoffed.

“He is my friend. We are only friends. And that’s all we'll ever be,” you continued.

Andrew raised his brows. “Oh sure, as friends as Harry and Kat are, Y/N you guys are also—“

“You seem to confuse whatever is going on with Kat and Harry with Tom and I. Harry and Kat—they are, of course, getting somewhere, because they are clearly more than friends,” your tone was cold and serious. “And I’m very happy for them, and I’m sure—It’s something that could last forever, they are clearly meant to be, so I’m happy,” because you were, but your heart still ached. “But that’s them. Tom and I are friends, and only that.” Seemed that the statement was not… necessary, but you needed to hear it yourself. “Though it might have seemed as—“you cleared your throat, because there was nothing else. “As it could be the perfect set up, two pairs of best friends dating two other best friends—it is nothing like that. Someone like Tom and I are meant to be only friends, and at times it seems like even our friendship is—forced. I don’t like Tom as anything else, and Tom doesn’t like me as anything more.”

Andrew seemed skeptical. He kept watching you. Maybe he didn’t sense that you were in fact, not saying it to him, but stating it for yourself, trying to convince yourself of it.

“Don’t push it, don’t try pursuing a fantasy that will never be, and it’s better to get it over now, just so we are clear. Besides, things are not what they seem and whatever happened with him I clearly don’t want to talk about it, alright?” It came out with more poison than planned.

Andrew squinted his eyes. “Well, I hope you talk about it with Kat later because it clearly is bothering you.”

“It is not.”

Andrew only offered you a hug, which you kindly accepted. “And Nick?” Andrew questioned. “Why did you invite Nick?”

“Yeah, why Dickolas?” Harry had walked back into the room, spraying cologne on him.

You shrugged, “He will bring friends. Thought you’d be more excited about having a bigger audience. And,” you waved your hand in front of your face. “Isn’t that too much cologne? You’re supposed to smell good, not kill the audience.”

Harry shrugged, “I’m good with Kat only watching, don’t need a large audience” Harry grinned.

“Ew, romance,” Andrew said and you both mimicked throwing up noises to which Harry ignored.

“And, I need to smell good, princess, I’ll be standing next to fetid Thomas, I shall remind you,” Harry said and wiggled his eyebrow.

You got stiff at his remark, sudden change of subject. “Yeah, right. Especially now that Dickolas is also coming, the place will be infested.”

“Yeah, but not even Dickolas will ruin my night,” Harry stated, still his gaze going everywhere. “I-” He grinned.

“Just an advice,” you said suddenly, remembering how Harry was. “I know you’re going straightforward or whatever,” you nodded. “But, maybe don’t ask Kat out in front of everyone.”

Harry clapped his hands. “No,” he said sheepishly. “I know, I know, I know, I’ve--” He chuckled “I would’ve already sang in front of the whole school, y’know? All rom com-”

“No,” Andrew stepped in. “Or maybe do, so we can see her killing you.”

You laughed at the input. “No, we don’t want that, but really,” you smirked. “I am serious-I know her-”

“Yes, y/n, princess, I know you know Kat, but I’ve also got to learn a lot about her this summer,” Harry rushed in. “And she… She really,” Harry could barely speak, as his smile was impeding him to, as if instead he wanted to only laugh out of embarrassment, the wide grin. The unique and singular joy you feel when you’re in love and loved. “Look, I won’t fuck it up, alright?”

You knew he wouldn’t. Harry and Kat had been flowing nicely, oh so nicely. Though you knew you could be secretly thanked for that, Harry often came for advice, but genuinely, you knew that Harry didn’t need much help, often he only needed reassurance, because Kat could… easily shut off her feelings and you’d need to remind Harry to keep on track.

“I know,” you rolled your eyes. “Now, let’s go, we might be late.”

Harry still had to change his outfit about 4 more times, having also Andrew and you yell at him each time he did. Andrew tried asking about Tom just once more. But you ignored him.

Although now you had decided you’d live vicariously through Harry and Kat’s romance. You had seen him playing with the lipstick she’d given him. You remembered when he initially told you he liked her, although there was no need for it. Harry had been obvious enough about his feelings for her. He would often talk about her as if she was like a spring melody, or as if she was like a nice summer morning, with the sun creeping out just gently to warm him, with the birds chirping in the background.

The way Harry talked about Kat or the way he stared at her would inspire anyone to be in love. It came as a blessing and as a curse. Maybe you had forced yourself into thinking you could have something like that. Love blinds. Especially when you think you are in love, but aren’t.

You had to ignore the heartbreak because it was irrational to have one. Though, Andrew was right, it was bothering you. But nobody had to know about this. Not even Kat, she was being happy with her progress with Harry. You would not impede her happiness.

So you’d have to do what Tom had taught you to, shut down every emotion you had. Push away any possible feeling. And pretend like nothing had happened, forget this whole summer. And never bring it up again, because it would be selfish. So you’d focus on Harry and Kat.

Harry had kept on rambling over the song, and how it had gone. How magical it had been and how he was filled with hope. How a summer romance had been like a sweet melody. From days into nights, the sun cascading every time he was with her. Butterflies, butterflies, butterflies.

When you arrived at the cafe, you had initially ignored Tom, for your own sake. Although you had wanted to speak to him, you couldn’t bring yourself to it. But for everyone else, you were still happy. No one could see the pain you were going through. No one had to know.

Seemed like Kat was busy enough, though. The moment she saw Harry, everything turned into pink butterflies, apparently. As if the sun had suddenly come out after a storm. They way their smiles synchronized warmed your own heart. Even made you smile. Harry and Kat’s hearts were glowing.

You talked to your grandmother, she did notice even though you had tried hiding it.

You were applying lipstick as Tom approached you. You decided to ignore him as you were setting tables, getting the place ready for their… show, if you could call it like that. Tom looked… hurt. Or… just shut down. The exact opposite of Harry. It felt so cold when he approached you.

It made you think of Andrew’s remark. How only the day before maybe you had been flirting. Now you didn’t even want to look him in the eye, to protect yourself.

“Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You didn’t even look up. “Have you finished setting up the guitar?”

“Yeah… yeah,” Tom gulped down his pride and spoke up, “Hey, eh-”

“I hope you didn’t do anything stupid,” you glared at him before he could say anything else. He was taken aback.

“Like what?”

“I dunno, telling her,” you were serious. “She really likes Harry and she just had a great moment with him. They’re both happy Tom and I don’t want you messing up with her happiness. Don’t ruin this for them.”

Tom avoided your glare, he seemed very conflicted. “Yeah, I…” He licked his lips. “I have a talent for messing up.”

You felt guilty, though. You knew you were being selfish. So you swallowed your pride and turned to him. “You can have feelings, they’re valid,” you stated, because even when this was the worst to ever happen to you, you knew Tom. And after all, he was a friend. And accepting he had feelings was probably a huge step. “But sometimes you just have to accept that it can’t be and that some feelings you’ve got to keep it to yourself, love someone from a distance and eventually get over it because you know they won’t be happy with you. Or that it’s not possible to be reciprocated.”

Tom fiddled with a napkin, quietly.

“It sucks,” you shrugged. “Unrequited love is possibly the slowest way to die,” you said to him, he was trying to avoid your glance, and then it was the most Tom he had ever been in a while, hiding whatever he was thinking. “Especially when it involves your best friend's happiness,” you stated.

He only looked up then clenched his jaw, “You’re still angry at me?”

You shrugged. “'I'm not sure if I want to be friends with someone who can easily betray his best friend,” you said with poison.

Tom rolled his eyes. “You’re being-”

“Overdramatic? Maybe,” you said. “But… We will talk about it later, alright? And I really…” You shook your head. “We might as well… Pretend we are okay, alright?”

Tom just stared into your eyes. “Pretend—”

“I don’t want them thinking we had a fight, or anything so I’ll go back to acting like I usually do, alright?”

Tom seemed confused by your statement. “But-”

“So let’s just pretend we are still friends and—” You couldn’t even begin to understand what you were telling him.

“But we are?” Tom frowned.

“Yeah, no I mean… I just don’t want them to...think we had a fight so I’ll start acting normal, okay?” You turned to him with a smile, the fakest smile you could pull. “So, go on stage and good luck, alright?” You pinched his cheek, jokingly.

Tom didn’t move. He frowned. “So you can easily just bullshit this all through?”

“Yeah,” you nodded. “We can’t let them know we are not-”

“Well why-”

“Just pretend, Thomas, it’s not that difficult, besides, you said it, we are friends, aren’t we?” You didn’t mean to be rude but it seemed that today it was the only thing you could be.

Tom sighed.

“But I mean it, good luck, you’re gonna kill them,” you placed a hand on his shoulder.

Tom didn’t give you any reaction.

“Come on, now, chop chop!” You clapped your hands. “Go on stage! It’s time,” you grinned, you took his hand and dragged him to the small stage your nana, Andrew, Kat and you had set up for them. Harry and Kat were staring into each other’s eyes or whatever adorable shit they always came up with. Tom gave them a second glance. You saw it. He was hurt.

What the hell were you supposed to do? Support him in his stupid heartbreak when his feelings were so stupidly and arrogantly selfish? Support him when you were broken-hearted yourself?

You had to, because…He was a friend. First and foremost. “No, no, now smile,” you made him look at you. “Go on, good luck, break a leg,” you said before kissing his cheek, leaving your lips tattooed on bright red. Tom was confused by the matters of it but before he could question you, you pushed him up the stage and went to take your seat with Andrew.

Kat joined you shortly after. You only smiled at her. Hoping both Andrew and Kat would buy the con you’d try to pull. To pretend you’re friends with Tom as if he hadn’t broken your heart merely moments ago.

And before you knew it, they had started playing. This had probably not been how you had expected summer to end, not with an ache growing in your chest and your eyes fighting not to cry. But Pandora’s Sign was officially playing for people. Actual people, and that was good enough to forget your heartbreak. For a bit, at least. Tom and Harry had a band that people who weren’t Kat Andrew or you were listening to and it held a promise that would be fulfilled.

Nick had come, he’d brought in some friends as he said he would. He had smiled at you, with a smile that also seemed to hold a promise, but you ignored it.

At least their music had managed to bring the happiness back to the friend group, a happiness that you were sure nothing would be able to break. Even when the music ended, it seemed that the applause had been just eager enough. You even went past the need of ignoring Tom, and for a moment you didn’t pretend and ran to hug him.

Everything was going perfect. Besides, Kat had made the band t-shirts with the logo she’d designed. Pandora holding a hawkshead flower. So delicately designed for them. It was perfect. Picture perfect. And so a picture was taken, to capture the happiness that the five of you never wanted to let go off.

And your heartbreak had been pushed aside, and you’d hugged Andrew, and Tom and Harry and Kat. Knowing that the happiness would preserve. Because you knew that although the summer wasn’t made for romance, maybe it had been for a friendship. And, although the summer was ending, your story was barely beginning.

↳ read Kat’s version here and Tom’s conversation with Kat. (Harry fic)

@rayofsunshine-28 @millennial-teenybopper @spideyspeaches @spideyspeaches @sleepingdancer @sippin-on-tea @countingstarsmylove i’ll tag everyone from perennial

tag list @spidxrparkxr @mukesnugget @anxiousdesignerdancerbandlover @happywolves81 @happywolves81 @happywolves81 @happywolves81 @applenter @claredolphinbear24 @claredolphinbear24 @claredolphinbear24 @avengersgirllorianna @nevertoofarfromivar @nevertoofarfromivar @herofiennestiffinashardinscott. @tomzfrog @dark-infernal-instruments @awkwardfangirl2014 @awkwardfangirl2014 @tomzfrog @awkwardfangirl2014 @xapham @xapham @tomhollandisagod @tomhollandisagod @laurfangirl424 @laurfangirl424 @cinnamon-roll-peter @the-lost-fairy-tale @cinnamon-roll-peter @lala-florez @lala-florez @lala-florez @xxtomxo @xxtomxo @muffinmari25 @cassindeansass @rogers-obsessed-barnes-curious @southsidespideyy @nathaliabakes @nathaliabakes @nathaliabakes @embrace-themagic @bradfordbantams @sanniegirl1214 @sanniegirl1214 @softholand @softholand @fairytaleparker @fairytaleparker @softholand @thatweirdomimic @griff1ndor @reginalaufeyson-holmes @better-daisy @yeahimcrying @allmonstersxarehuman @spider-manholland @spider-manholland @itstaskeen @georiaang @sebxstianbarnes @kissingtrutharchives @snoopy3000 @snoopy3000 @spideyparkerstark @fanfic-4-you @lexshead @lexshead @mannien @whitewolfandthefox @melodiclovesong @melodiclovesong @melodiclovesong @bizzlepotter @acceptance07 @witchythingscore @bizzlepotter @swaggyspiderman @swaggyspiderman @queengemsworld @liberty0123 @stiles-banshees @stiles-banshees @itsjusttor @annathesillyfriend @annathesillyfriend @dangerousluv1 @tomshufflepuff @thewayilookatbacon @emjaywrites @emjaywrites @infamousmany @jungeunave @emjaywrites @ispiderdudei @ispiderdudei @literalfsngirltrash @quacksonhq @quacksonhq @desir-ae @desir-ae @desir-ae @desir-ae @peterporkpie @smolpeachees @thenoddingbunny-blog @quackeroos @quackeroos @spideyyeet @astoldbydanid @astoldbydanid @hollandcreep-blog @hollandcreep-blog @milly7110 @milly7110 @rebekkah4766 @farfromtommy @rubberducky-jrr @rubberducky-jrr @coveredinthemessimade @shameless-self-promo-of-a-shrub @sweetiesangster @thatdamjoke @annathesillyfriend @l0ove-sick-blues @witchythingscore @witchythingscore @bookworm06 @bookworm06 @lala-florez @lala-florez @lala-florez @shezzalockeddoctor @chaoticpete @peeterparkr @shezzalockeddoctor @cosmichollands-blog @lowkey-love-loki @badbitchydecisions @w4ybefor3nir4na jj @saintlavrents @americaswritings @americaswritings @lukesbabylon @ilovepeterparker13 @iamaunicorn4704 @simple-things @simple-things @sip-portteam @sip-portteam @herondale-snow-carstairs @quaksonhehe0 @stargazerholland @tony-starks-ego @hotrubycrab @sovereignparker @peter-parker-tony-stank-trash @belleknows @mysticalinsomniac @nycparkers @mysticalinsomniac @anythingthaticareabout @spn-assemble-seven @anythingthaticareabout @tanyalooovesyou @heartofholland @peachybloomss @peachybloomss @emyla3305 @emyla3305–butt @hollandstanevans @hollandstanevans @farfromtommy @southbeachfeeling @eridanuswave @tonguetiedholland @wolvesofthewinter @quacksonobrien @dcnerd98 @ifntelyinspirit @electraheart-3174 @julialucena5 @itsmilamawson @harryssuckz @harryssuckz @xstarbae @xstarbae @xstarbae @xstarbae @averyfosterthoughts @darethedragonknights @darethedragonknights @justanamesstuff @justanamesstuff @abbiefangirls247 @hannahholland1811 @itscaminow @youllbmineandillbeyoursbabelove @hotrubycrab @spidey-holland-96 @awkwardnesshabitat @geminiparkers@primadonnasdream @slytherinambitious @slytherinambitious @where-art-thau-romeo @where-art-thau-romeo @viagracex @sspidermanss @pcterparxer @whatevshollandarchive @whatevshollandarchive @aleyabee @lovewolfspirit @lovewolfspirit @xallyouneedislovexx @panicattheeverywherekid @pcterparxer @thehauntingofmymind @redhoodparker @redhoodparker @cakepopcriss @allthisfortommy @aleyabee @perspectiveparker @let-me-luve-you @erodasghosts @xxpeachyxo @m-a-r-i-n-t-p @superstarchick @notjustpenandpaper @morbiddanvers @runaway3 @runaway3 @runaway3 @runaway3 @th0ttie4tommy @th0ttie4tommy @riasaurusrex @frustratingpaperclip @frustratingpaperclip @geesquariid @readheadwriter @noxceleste @geesquariid @witchything @witchything @bookworm06 @sinisterspidey @peterporkpie @imthefloor @ohmyquackson @ohmyquackson @wangtan-boys @obiwanownsmyass @sadisticfries @not-some-docile-teenager @galaxystern08 @lovemarvelousfics @lovemarvelousfics @tomzfrog @thearchersupremacy @nikitajackson @dayazenn @the-fandom-life-forever @the-fandom-life-forever @quaksonhehe @just-kickin-ass @samaratheweirdo @fr3akingphantrash @quaksonhehe @mandeeleebeebee @captainamirica @captainamirica @dramaticdiva @halparkebitch @white-wolf1940

103 notes · View notes

softcallofdutyimagines · 3 years

Text

Stay | Russell Adler x fem!bell!Reader

Summary: Despite having developed deep feelings for you after all this time working together, Adler takes you to antarctica like he was told. The only issue is... Things aren't as they seem when he finally confronts you.

Aka, sorry Treyarch, but this time the thotlers win.

SKSKSKS I ONLY MADE THAT POST TO TEST THE WATER, SO THANK YOU @smokeywhalee FOR ASKING FOR THE FIC. I ACTUALLY WROTE THIS WHOLE ASS THING LAST NIGHT SO COME GET THIS FLUFFY ASS BREAD Y'ALL AND ENJOY

Tags: fluff, angst, and angst with a happy ending

Warnings: some strong language and you might need a tissue box bc I sure did 😭😭

"Nothing like arctic air, eh?"

Russell Alder stands just a few feet away, hands resting squarely on his hips, looking out over the cliffs.

"Sure", you smile tiredly, a little sleepy from the long flight, as you walk up beside him. Without needing permission, you slip your pinky around his as he loosens his grip to allow you to do so.

Adler takes a glance down at your intertwined hands. He can't keep you in the dark for long. But still, he's afraid to tell you...

You move to lean your head on his shoulder, only to be left alone as he wrenches himself away.

"Listen Bell, there's... There's something I need to tell you", he refuses himself a glance at you. It would hurt him too much. You make an inquisitive noise and a long silence passes.

Perhaps it would be best just to get the hard part over. He was never one for beating around the bush anyway. "They sent me out here to kill you, Bell"

His voice is hardly audible, a clever trick to disguise the hurt in his voice. He grits his teeth, wondering if you really needed to know that, but then he remembers... He's done lying to you. You deserve to know.

Adler braces himself for the backlash, perhaps even a bullet in the back. Instead, he's met with a whisper.

"I know"

Your voice is only audible thanks to the bitter wind helping it along to his ear, leaving a ghostly caress as it passes him by. Russell turns around this time, almost disappointed to see your back still turned to him.

"How d-?"

You turn slowly, and even from there he can see the tear rolling down your face, "Why else would we be out here?", you gesture around to the great nothingness enveloping you both. You sniff and swipe a hand across you cheek, a joyless laugh escaping you, "Besides, you never take me anywhere nice"

In any other scenario, it would be playful and teasing, just like he knows you for.

Adler huffs a half hearted laugh at that, before tearing his gaze away. "Bell, I..."

"Oh, cut the shit Russell. Just do it, alright?", the tears flow freely down your glassy eyes now, "I know you have to... Really, I get it. A-and it's alright, you know? I-"

By now, Adler has made his way across to you. Even now, he hates to see you so upset. He gently grips your arms in his strong, steady hands, hoping against hope to give you some sense of ease. He needs to finish what he has to say.

"Bell..."

He then tries to say your name, but you won't allow it.

"Just shut up, alright? God, I hate you! I h-hate you..."

You struggle in his grip, beating weakly against his chest as your body becomes wracked pwith sobs, voice trailing off pathetically. Adler pulls you close, just in time, as you collapse into his arms.

"God, why? Why why...?"

You're choked up with hiccuping sobs again as Adler lowers you both to kneel in the grass. He squeezes you tighter, comfortingly he hopes, and if nothing else, to keep him from allowing tears of his own to fall too.

With a ragged gasp, you find your voice, allowing your anger and frustration to seap in at last, "After all I did for you people... This is how yo-?"

But you're cut off, and suddenly all your senses are overwhelmed with... Him.

Adlers lips crush into yours, the eagerness with which he kisses you is enough to erase all the fear, and pain, and sadness. At least, for the moment.

The crisp arctic air only accentuates the musky smell of his cologne, infusing every breath you breathe with its familiar scent. Charred birch and a hint of cigarettes. You almost smile at that.

He's been trying to quit, per your request, but... Old habits die hard.

The uneven stubble of his scarred chin tickles as he works over your lips, sucking gently, but adamantly once, then twice, before sustaining one long kiss again.

At last you part, lungs burning for air. Small puffs of condensation intermingle between your mouths as you catch your breath.

Adler takes one last gasp for air, to steady himself more then anything, before delivering one more kiss to your forehead. He knows he doesn't deserve to think such things, but...

You have no idea how long he's wanted to kiss you.

A few more tears start up from you again, but in that moment, he decides once and for all to commit to all the promises he's been wanting to make to you. He's done watching you suffer, and it's time you knew.

"I'm not going to kill you Bell...", he whispers against the warm skin of your forehead before pulling you to the crook of his neck.

You sniff, instantly frozen as you try to make sense of what you just heard. Too soon, faster then your mind can catch up, you search for words, "Wha-? Why? How? Russell, if they find out they'll kill yo-"

"Shhhh, they're not going to find out. I'm defecting. Right here, right now"

"B-but, why? I already told you, it's o-"

Adler moves his hands to cup your face, training your gaze to be all on him.

"No, it's not ok Bell. What we did to you... What I did to you... Was fucked, and unfair, but... it was for the greater good. But this? No."

"W-well ok... but-?"

"I'm doing this because I love you Bell", he barks it out, almost angrily, but even behind those old tinted aviators, you can see his expression soften almost immediately as he gently strokes your cheek with his thumb, "I love you... So much. Do you understand?"

He pauses for a moment, and his grand show of steely emotions breaks as he removes the sunglasses to wipe away his tears. And when he looks back at you... You're surprised at the reminder of how beautiful his eyes are.

"And... I'm... sorry I never told you before... Well, this"

Your mind is reeling at the rush of information. This... confession, isn't exactly news to you, but to hear him say it...

With one more sniff, Adler manages to pull himself together for a final moment of vulnerability, "Look, I know this is... a lot, but I was thinki- I...", he sighs and takes a deep breath. This is it.

"Would you... Come away with me? The CIA is going to be looking for both of us, and, well... No body and all, so I was thinking... We could find somewhere... off the grid, just you and me, start fresh? I know it'll be tough bu-"

"Yes!"

"-t I can protect you an- Wait... Yes?"

"Yes!", you seal the statement with a quick kiss. A promise. Then, you grow serious, "There's nothing left for me out here Russell... You're my only choice"

"...I'm sorry to hear that"

You cup a hand to his face, a tiny glimpse of that beautiful smile he loves so much peeking through, "No no, I didn't mean... This is a good thing. I meant to say, I wouldn't want to choose anyone else"

Adler sniffs and huffs a laugh, rocking gently as you pull in for an embrace, "Well in that case... I'm sorry to hear you have such terrible taste in men"

That earns a genuine laugh from you, and to him, it sounds like music.

You slip your hand into his, holding on just by the fingers before reaching up to plant a kiss over the scar on his jaw. You always rather liked those scars of his, no matter how much he wishes they never were.

But then again... He loves the way you use them to make him feel handsome, and he'll never understand how you do it.

After a few moments more, Adler gets up, pulling you to your feet as well. You wipe away the last of your tears, and as you glance up at him, a look of uncertainty crosses you.

He knows he has no right to ask you to trust him. Not after all the lies and the manipulation that got you and him to this point. But even after all that... The fact that you're willing to give him a chance humbles him to no end.

Adler looks back at you, and wishes for nothing more then the ability to make sure you never have to worry, or hurt, or live in fear ever again. But if there's one thing he does know, he'll be damned if he doesn't try.

"Come on kid", he rubs some warmth back into your arms, then kisses the top of your hair, "let's get out of here, huh? I've got just the place in mind..."

And just the place indeed.

A few months of preparation go by first, but at last you've managed to escape to the Swiss country side. Fields and fields of vibrant green grass and small wildflowers pass you by as Adler drives along, the great alps standing tall and strong just in the distance.

The sun glows warmly over head, and a little sparkle catches your eye. You look down and admire the ring on your hand once again, turning it this way and that, before stealing a glance at Russell's matching one.

With a couple more twists and turns, Adler asks you to close your eyes. A little while more, and the car comes to a stop. "Hey, don't open yet!", He hurries around to help you out, guiding you along want feels like a gravel path.

He puts his hands over yours, "Ready?"

You nod, the suspense absolutely eating you up. Finally, he moves your hands aside, revealing a small, brightly painted house before you. A stone path leads up to a white fenced porch complete with a swing for two.

The whole thing is practically overgrown with wysteria, coiling in and around the pillars and walls, and out front a wild garden stretches up towards the sun.

It's perfect.

You whip around, finding yourself unable to speak. But, he already knows. Adler sweeps you up off your feet and gives you a little spin as you shriek in surprise, melting into a fit of laughter as he sets you down.

He leans in and kisses you, just another of countless more to come, before pulling back. You have no idea how much it means to him to see you this happy....

"Welcome home"

#BITCH IM CRYING BYE 😭😭😭#black ops cold war #call of duty #russell adler #russell adler x bell #russell adler x reader

116 notes · View notes

claymorecut · 3 years

Text

YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE LOVE WHEN YOU CAN’T STOP LOVING YOUR WIFE EVEN WHEN SHE GROWS A PAIR OF KINTAMA

A GinTsu fanfic

Word Count: 8072

A/N: This fic is long. And messy. And I wanted to write this for a really long time. Hope you guys enjoy! <3

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

‘Huh? When did I get here..?’

Standing under the scorching afternoon sun, this is the first thought that crosses the silver-haired samurai’s mind. The familiar crossroad bustled with people as Gintoki scrunches his eyes and shields them from the blinding sunlight. Not long ago was he lying on his precious couch in his cozy little apartment, so how come is he now standing on the middle of Yoshiwara? Oh yes, he was already on his way to pay his busy wifey a visit.

‘Must be the heat, I might’ve lost track of when I reached here.’ Rubbing his eyes which seems to itch a little, the man decided to make his way towards the infamous tea-house. It has been months since he last visited Yoshiwara but the true reason he’s here today is because he wants to see his wife. For the last few weeks, Tsukuyo has been coming home late due to work and to his disappointment - and sure enough, hers as well - they hardly get the chance to spend time together.

Of course, like always, Gintoki stays the same, good, supportive husband who doesn’t constantly nag his wife about her workaholic nature and busy schedule but right now, perhaps, he has started to feel a little lonely. And as cheesy as it sounds in his thirty-five years old mind, Gintoki really misses her. Not just the sex or the long, passionate kisses, but he really misses spending quality time with her. Seriously, when was the last time the two sat down and read their favorite manga series together? More importantly, their second anniversary is only a few dates away and this time, he wants to surprise her with something special. Something that can help the Tsukuyo take a break from her job and relax.

The former city of night appears as same as ever with people busy with their daily work. A few Hyakka members patrolled the streets, in case of any transgression. However, far away in front of another tea house, Gintoki catches a small crowd of woman swarming a large, tanned man, most likely flirting with him while he seems to be going along with them playful pokes and giggles. Due to his back facing him, he can’t get a clear look on the unfamiliar man except for his wide back and blond hair which perfectly contrasted his bronze skin. No wonder so many women were flocking around him, he appears to be quite a good-looking man.

“Oh Gin-san, how have you been?” The delighted owner of the tea house was greets him as he walks inside.

“Usual, I guess.” The man simply replied and takes a seat on one of the benches, facing her. “I just saw this guy outside. You guys hired a new bodyguard?”

At his curious question, Hinowa gives him a confused look. “No. We haven’t had new recruits for quite some time now.”

“Oh.”

“So, Gin-san.” Hinowa asks, changing the subject. “What brings you here?”

While Hinowa gives him her signature smile, Gintoki finds the situation quite odd. Wouldn’t a teasing “Here to see Tsukuyo~” with her playful smirk have made more sense?

‘Perhaps, she’s gotten used to it.’ His mind reasoned back as he brushed off the thought.

“Uh…well, I was basically here to meet Tsukuyo but I was thinking of taking her on a trip for our anniversary.” Looking down, he nervously rubs the back of his neck. He may have been a married man now but even still, showing his rather romantic side of his in front of anyone except Tsukuyo makes him a little…flustered.

“You know how she is with her ‘I don’t want anythin’’ and stuff. That woman has been working constantly for ages and she really needs to get some rest! I never thought choosing a gift for a woman would be this tough, let alone surprising her but it’s her we’re talking about after all….So, I thought maybe you can suggest me something.”

After finishing up his chattering, Gintoki looks back up at her with a flushed face, only to find Hinowa confusedly blinking at him. “…Eh? Anniversary?”

The man knits his brows. “Don’t tell me you forgot?”

“Forgot what?”

“My and Tsukuyo’s anniversary.”

“But when did you get marri-“

“What’s goin’ on?” A deep and surprisingly familiar voice came from behind the silver-haired man.

“Oh, Tsukuo. Did you know Gin-san got married? He just told me.”

“What? When?”

“I don’t know…maybe he’s talking about someone else…”

This casual exchange of words sounded strange. But what sounded stranger is the name of the man who is talking with Hinowa. Who is now standing right beside him. Perplexed at this sudden change of events, Gintoki slowly turns to his side to find the very same tanned and muscular man he has seen before entering the tea house standing who now looked at him and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder.

“Yo, Mr. Husband. Did ya forget to invite us or what?” The man named Tsukuo teases him.

And Gintoki felt all the blood drain off his face.

He knew something was off. Really off. And as he got the closer look of the man’s face, the more he finds himself horrified. “W-who are you?”

The large man quirked one of his brows and then looks back at Hinowa, directing his thumb at Gintoki. “Is he okay?”

“He looked fine before. Gin-san, you look pale. Are you okay?”

No. No, he isn’t. Because this doesn’t look right. And no matter how much he tries, his brain has now failed to process the entire situation as Gintoki finds his eyes fixated at the buff man who looks shockingly familiar. Blond hair, violet eyes, the familiar black kimono decorated with autumn leaves and the infamous scar that he has gotten accustomed to kissing - Gintoki has been seeing all these features for years now.

In his wife.

Pointing a shaky finger at the large man, Gintoki felt his voice turn into a mere, almost squeaky, whimper “Hinowa-san….what happened to my Tsukuyo?” He could no longer contain the shock and disbelief in his voice. No way is this happening!

“Tsukuyo?” At this, the raven-haired woman looks puzzled. “But that’s Tsukuo.”

“I-I know..but…did some strange light fell from the sky and changed her sex? Like how it happened last time in the Dekobokko arc?” Each syllable he stutters makes his heart race a little faster. “What happened to Tsukuyo?”

“….Gin-san, what’re talking about? There’s no one named Tsukuyo here.”

His mouth falls agape. “Hinowa-san, please don’t joke like this.”

“But….I’m not joking, Gin-san….”

“Then…you’re saying my wife…is now…a man..?”

Suddenly he feels a large hand on his shoulder, probing him to look at the other direction which he was so badly trying to avoid. “Are ya outta your mind, ya bastard?” His said wife says up loudly, sounding quite offended by his genuine question. “I’ve always been a man.”

…

‘WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!?’

*****

“Of course Tsukuo-dono has always been a man.”

“Who doesn’t know about the King of Night in Edo, Danna?”

“Gin-san~ Why are you suddenly so interested in that bastard when I’m right here~”

“Oi, Sarutobi. I’m right here - By the way, why’re you asking around if Tsukuo has always been a guy or not? Did you lose your memories or something?”

Nobody remembers. Nobody.

For the last three hours, Gintoki has been running around the city of Edo after dashing out of Yoshiwara, just so he can find out whether the unearthly Dekobokko cultist have made their comeback or not. Unfortunately, nothing of that sort has happened. In fact, after asking Kyubei, Saachan and the Shinsengumi who once turned into the opposite gender knows nothing this uncanny event of his wife turning into the male version of her. Actually, his wife never swapped genders even when they did.

And every time he frantically asked the same damn question, their responses also stayed the same - “But Tsukuo has always been a man. We don’t know anyone named Tsukuyo.”

The statement itself is like a tight slap on his face. But what hurts more is that she is no longer here. Nobody remembers their marriage and…nobody remembers her.

His ring is gone.

All the wedding pictures and albums he once had in their little house are all missing.

And now that he looks at the empty shelf where they once had a beautiful framed picture of them kissing on their wedding day, Gintoki slumps down on the floor as he ponders about this absurdity he is currently in. Wasn’t it just this morning when he saw his wife leave for work before giving him a quick peck on his lips? Wasn’t it just a few hours ago when was planning to surprise his wife on their second anniversary? But now it feels like he is in a completely different world. And suddenly he is back to the same ol’ single and unmarried Sakata Gintoki who no longer has the amazing badass blond bombshell of a wife by his side.

In this sorry state, Gintoki recalls a memory from the morning where his favorite weather girl, Ketsuno Ana was announcing today’s horoscope predictions.

“For Libras, today, you may find yourself in an uncanny situation. Perhaps, your love life will be tested today under very confusing conditions but let me tell you, do not give up hope. As long as you believe in yourself and your partner, everything will turn out just fine.” The woman gave a bright smile from behind the screen as he flicked the TV off.

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!?” The utterly confused and enraged man yelled at the ceiling without paying any attention to what his neighbors are going to think. Confusing!? No, this is a hellish situation! “OI WRITER! WHY WON’T YOU JUST LET ME LIVE AS A HAPPILY MARRIED MAN!?”

Even breaking the fourth wall didn’t work. Finding himself alone in the bland living room, Gintoki hopelessly looks down on the floor and then at his empty left ring finger, gently rubbing it. He is not a sappy man, never has been, but truthfully, the empty finger does not suit him anymore.

The day he found out Tsukuyo had been in love with him throughout the runtime of the series was the day realized how much of lucky bastard he has been to have someone like her in his life. Idiot he might have been for not acting on his feeling but the day he took his vows was day he promised he will not let go of her. Ever.

‘Then why the hell is this going on…?’

A knock on his door interrupts Gintoki and he lets out a heavy sigh. If it was any other day, he would definitely have answered the door. But right now, ignoring it seems like a better option. Must be the baba is what he thinks and then stands up from his place to go look for some strawberry milk in the fridge. Maybe that can help him cool down…even just a little. Another two knocks, this time louder, tries to get his attention but he chooses not to respond again. No way is he in the mood to have a chat with someone.

“Oi Gintoki! I know you’re in there!” A voice calls out for him. A very familiar voice that he just wants to…avoid right now.

However, his mission fails instantly when another knock comes in, making him rub his already throbbing temple.

Groaning, Gintoki turns the other way to greet the unwanted guest in his house. Well, technically that was her- oh sorry, his house too, but according to the current situation, calling him a guest seems more appropriate. Sliding the main door open - and deep down, wishing it’s Tsukuyo standing there – he finds the male version of his wife nonchalantly smoking from the signature kiseru with his muscular arms folded under his well-toned chest. His blond hair is now tied in a small ponytail and damn, he is a few inches taller than him.

“Why did ya run away like that?” Tsukuo asks, putting down his kiseru. And while he refuses to admit, Gintoki can clearly hear the concern in his voice which seems so…familiar. But this isn’t her.

“Just had something to do.” Shrugging, Gintoki tiredly looks at the man. “I don’t know what I was saying, sorry about that.” He lies, really not in the mood to explain whatever this is. And possibly, this man will not believe him.

“Okaaay.” Tsukuo trails off, confused at his dismissive behavior. “You okay now? You seemed a little off back in Yoshiwara.”

Oh, can he just stop resembling her so much!?

“Yeah. Can you just leave me alone? I’m gonna get some sleep now, my head hurts” He knows he is being an ass but this is for the better. Tiredly, he slides the door close only to find a tight grip on the doorframe and shoves it open again.

“Hey. What’s wrong with you?” Tsukuo asks, slightly annoyed as he bends a little forward to look into the silver-haired man’s eyes. “First you act like you’ve seen a ghost and now you’re actin’ like an asshole?”

Hearing this, a vain pops in his head. He really can’t catch a break, can he? First, he sees his wife turn into this extremely handsome and muscular man who has lost all memories of their marriage and now, he’s supposed to explain why he is acting like this like a madman!?

“So, how else am I supposed to act, huh!? Act like everything’s normal when it’s actually NOT!?”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean!?” Tsukuo snaps back, confused at his sudden outburst. “Isn’t this normal, you moron!?”

“Oh yeah!?” Gintoki grits his teeth, feeling fumes coming out of his ears. “Maybe it would have if my married life hadn’t been suddenly erased from existence!”

“And when the hell did you get married!?”

“ ALMOST TWO YEARS AGO ON 21ST JUNE, AT THE END OF SPRING!” Gintoki screams out, making the passerbys look above at the two men who are now engaged in a heated argument.

“What the-!?”

Scoffing loudly, Gintoki throws his hands up in the air in utter defeat. “See! This is what I’m talking about! A few hours ago, I was a happily married man, planning to surprise my wifey for our second marriage anniversary and suddenly, I see everything is gone! Poof! Vanished in thin air like it NEVER existed!! And the worst part- nobody remembers my marriage, NOT EVEN YOU!”

Tsukuo only returns him another puzzled look. “And how the hell would I remember that!?”

“Because you’re the one I’m married to, damn it!” Frustrated, Gintoki jabs his pointer at the man’s well-built chest, only to realize what just he said and immediately rephrases his statement to, “Or should I say the female version of you.” and awkwardly pulls back his hand. “And now, suddenly she looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger and I’ve no fucking idea how or when it happened! I don’t even have any evidence to prove myself in this…this crazy situation and damn it, this all sounds so ridiculous!”

Silence follows and the two men stare at each other, one giving an extremely baffled look while the other groans in embarrassment. This is not going anywhere.

Covering his face his hands, Gintoki breaths out a long, exhausted sigh. “Listen, I think I need to clear my head. Can you just…go?”

The man doesn’t reply for another few seconds. Perhaps, he’ll just leave him alone now.

“….I’m not going anywhere.”

Gintoki’s ears perk up. Did he really just..?

“And I think it’s better if we talk properly.”

Finally, he looks back at the man’s earnest face. “Eh?”

“Let’s get outside.” His said wife suggests and turns to walk down the stairs. “I think you should tell me what exactly happened. Maybe that can help you clear your head.”

“You believe me?” Gintoki calls out, baffled at how serious he sounds.

“Not completely.” Tsukuo looks back as he steps down the last stair. “But I do know you’re not lying.”

*****

Tsukuo is popular, just like his wife. Very popular.

But fun fact, unlike Tsukuyo, who makes every other lecher look the other way with her intimidating glares, Tsukuo doesn’t seem to mind all these flirtatious wink and compliments that keeps coming at him from the opposite gender.

“You seem to have quite a huge fanbase in Edo.” Gintoki inquires. The two has been walking down the streets of Kabukichou for quite a few minutes now and the extra attention the tanned man keeps garnering is making the silver-haired samurai a little distressed.

“Well, can you blame them?” Tsukuo looks at him, smirking proudly.

“No.” Gintoki shrugs, glancing at another group of women eying Tsukuo, who literally has the body and face of a Greek god. “But I never thought you’d enjoy so much attention.”

“I don’t exactly.” The man casually replies. “But when someone wants to talk and spend time with me, I can’t just say no to them.”

“And you just said the typical playboy line. How convenient.” Gintoki mumbles, not audible enough for the man beside him to hear. He remembers the first time when he met this version of Tsukuyo back in chapter 441 in the Dekkobokko arc. To watch the serious, tsundere woman suddenly turn into a player who shamelessly flirted with his female version was such a shocker.

“Flowers have no beauty nor ugliness. If such a thing does exist, then it’s in the looks of a man that cannot admire both equally.”

“HEY, WHO IS THIS GUY!? A VIRGIN WOMAN SUDDENLY TURNED INTO A PLAYER!!!”

Gintoki lets out a sigh. Even though back then such a thing happened, the situation was, more or less, temporary. Tsukuyo’s sudden personality change was only limited to that one arc. However, from what he has come to understand here, this Tsukuo has always been…Tsukuo. Sneaking a glance at the man, he again finds him smile at another woman on the sideways who flushes bright red and shyly hides her face behind her palms.

‘Yup, this is not Tsukuyo…’

After another few minutes of silence, Tsukuo asks. “So, you were saying I’m your wife?”

“No. I’m saying my wife got replaced by you.” Gintoki replies bluntly.

Unnoticed, the man rolls his eyes. “Whatever. Do you remember what exactly happened?”

“What do you mean what exactly happened? I was on my way to meet my wife, but then I see you and suddenly everybody has forgotten about Tsukuyo and our marriage.”

“Yeah, you already said that. But I’m asking did something happen when you were on your way?”

Gintoki knits his eyebrows. “…Huh?”

“Did you meet any…shady fortune teller on your way?” Tsukuo inquires seriously, glancing at him.

“Umm..nope.” Comes his honest answer.

“Then did you inhale or drink something strange before?”

“Nooo….”

“Then what about the headaches you were getting?”

“Most probably because of stress. What about it?”

Tsukuo shrugs. “I don’t know. I thought maybe it’s some sort of a side-effect of some ‘magic spell’ you’ve been put into?”

“This doesn’t make any sense, you know.” Gintoki scowls at his absurd speculations.

“Well, this is Gintama. Remember when the animation staff decided to freeze you for an entire episode due to budget issues?” Tsukuo points casually.

“Yeah, I do remember tha-“

“Plus, this is a poorly written fanfi-“

“Please don’t mention the obvious to our readers so casually. It can ruin their reading experience.”

Tsukuo sighs. “So, nothing out of ordinary happened?”

“No.” Except for his horoscope coming true which he cannot tell him.

“Tsk. That’s a very cheap way to move the plot though.”

“Would you stop being fussy about the plot already?”

“I was just pointing out the errors.” Tsukuo says as a matter of fact.

“You’re starting to sound like Onishi-kun now.”

Tsukuo grumbles. “Fine, I’ll stop.”

“Good.”

Even like this, the nitpicky and logical side of her is still clearly there. And a part of him feels happy that it is there. As the two continue to stroll around the streets of Edo, Gintoki finds his lips curl upward for the first time in the last few hours, unaware of the blond man looking at him with him own small smile.

*****

The afternoon heat is now replaced by the breezy evening evening as the two make their way to a public park. Gintoki has no idea why they are still hanging out together. Or why Tsukuo still hasn’t left for work? Or why they are suddenly in a park and why does it feel like a date? Well, obviously he does not mind spending time with him – it’s actually quite refreshing – but still, Tsukuyo has always been a busy woman, a workaholic who doesn’t leave her duties behind, so, shouldn’t Tsukuo be like that too?

“Why’re we here?” Gintoki asks as he watches Tsukuo taking a seat on a nearby bench and stretches out.

Tsukuo, to his question, gives him a blank stare. “Because I’m tired of walking.”

“You aren’t even wearing any heels!” Gintoki frowns, pointing at his zori. “Tsukuyo can jump twenty buildings on her four-inch heeled leather boots and won’t even beat a sweat.”

Listening to his sudden proud comment about his wife, Tsukuo gives an amused smile. “Oh, that sounds interesting. That’s what I expect from the female me.” He gives himself a few pats on his shoulders.

Gintoki scoffs at his prideful gesture. “You’ve no idea how she’s like.”

Scooting a little to the side, Tsukuo taps on the empty seat right to him. “Wanna tell me how she’s like then?”

There is a moment of silence between the two before Gintoki walks towards the bench. “Oh, she’s just…amazing.” Taking a seat beside him, he grins widely, suddenly at a loss of words to describe his wife. “Sometimes even I end up thinking how I landed a woman like her.”

“You sound like a love-sick puppy.” Tsukuo chortles lightly.

“Well, I am a lucky man.” Gintoki shrugs, surprisingly unabashed by Tsukuo’s previous remark. There is a familiar sense of security in his company even though the man is the very much different from the woman he has fallen for.

“Well, you did marry me. Of course, that makes you a lucky man.”

His cocky response made Gintoki scoff in dismay. The moment he was starting to think they were a little alike, Tsukuo once again made him rethink his words.

“I didn’t marry a smug bastard. She’s the complete opposite of you.” Gintoki proudly replies, ready to explain his point. “Beautiful, serious, workaholic and definitely not a flirt - that woman can kill a lecher just by looking at him her venomous stare. And she’s called the Shinigami Tayuu in Yoshiwara. Well, formally, but you get how scary she is by that name. Hell, even I once became a victim of her wrath for ‘accidentally’ groping her before we started going out. Fortunately, she didn’t kill me then….”

Memories of the time flash in his mind as a soft chuckle escapes his lips. “Actually, it was my fault so I really can’t blame her….There’s always been so much more. She’s always been so strong and kind and…so different from me. Someone that I thought a broke man like me could never have. But she still stayed…right there with me….That’s what made me fall for her.”

“…You really love talking about her, don’t you?” Tsukuo asks, smiling at the man.

Gintoki sighs, smirking proudly. “Boasting about my wife once in a while isn’t bad.”

Soon, silence falls between them. Without having any idea of the kind of face the man sitting beside him is making, Gintoki lets his eyes stay fixated on the bushes right across their seat. For some reason, he has been rambling quite a lot today. Was he always this chatty? No, as far as he can remember, he was not. Probably, it’s the heavy feeling in his chest that’s making him so talkative.

“…and, who proposed first?” Tsukuo first breaks the silence.

This catches the silver-haired samurai’s attention.

“Of course, I did.” Gintoki replies, turning to see the man giving him a shocked look that made his eye twitch. “Oi, don’t gimme that look! I saved for the ring!”

At this, Tsukuo gives him an impressed smile. “Who’d have thought, Sakata Gintoki would become such a hopeless romantic for his precious wife?”

This time, the playfulness in his voice makes Gintoki grunt in embarrassment but he chooses to answer anyway. “For her, it’s worth it.”

“Umm-hmm. But I’m pretty sure she made most of payment during the wedding.” Tsukuo cleverly remarks.

Gintoki sighs, nodding in agreement. “Yes. Yes, she did.”

Sneaking a glance at the blond man, Gintoki finds the blond blankly gazing up at the sky, a small smile adoring his lips as he closes his eyes and breathes heavily. Albeit all the striking differences, he couldn’t help but find a sense of secrecy surrounding him, much like her. And right now, his serene expression reminds him of the way she would sometimes get lost in her thoughts.

“Missing her?” Tsukuo asks after a moment of silence.

Upon hearing the question, Gintoki sadly smiles. “Of course…Plus, we haven’t been spending much time together recently because of her work so….yeah.”

“…you still don’t know what’s going on?”

“Nope. But my horoscope did say it’s gonna be a strange day.” Gintoki confesses as a dry laugh escapes his lips. However, Tsukuo doesn’t inquire him any further.

Suddenly, a sense of uneasiness envelops Gintoki. He quietly watches the kids run back to their homes while the sky now appears to be painted in a deep shade of orange, the sun slowly disappearing in the broad horizon. It is strange how everything seems so normal to everyone but him; everything here feels like a strange dream he is unable to wake up from.

For the last few hours, being in Tsukuo’s company didn’t make him feel lonely in any manner. No matter how different he is here, there is a sense of peace in with him.

However, this is not his reality. This is not the place he belongs to. And this person, at the end, does not have any feelings for him.

“I think I should go back.” Standing up from his seat, Gintoki decides to take his leave. A part of him fears if he stays any longer, he would forever remain stuck here.

As he walks away, Tsukuo call out to him. “Oi, where are you going?”

Gintoki can hear his footsteps now. “Home. And I’m hungry.” He replies without turning back.

This still doesn’t stop the man from following him. “How about you come with me to Yoshiwara? It’s better than staying up like some loner in your little house.”

This time, Gintoki turns around, skeptically looking at him. “Don’t you have work?”

“Nope.” Tsukuo shrugs and walks to him. “Hinowa told me to take the day off.”

Well, that kinda hurt. He didn’t even come on his own accord, that’s how bland their relationship seems now.

“Well. You’re free to return back to work, then.” Gintoki waves his hand dismissively, ready to leave again.

“There’s a new izakaya.” His immediate response stops Gintoki on his tracks as he hears his stomach growl hungrily. “My treat.”

*****

By the time the two reached Yoshiwara, it has already turned dark outside as the full moon shone brightly above, illuminating the night sky. The streets appear busier than it was during the afternoon as the two make their way to. But before that, Gintoki gets to hear all the Tsukuo fangirls welcoming him back to Yoshiwara after his oh so long, tiresome day. Damn, nobody even bats an eye on the Savior of Yoshiwara anymore.

“Tsukuo-sama, how about you spend your night with me?”

“There’s a new kimono I received, I’d love~ to show it to you~”

“But I wanted to serve you sake and enjoy watching the full moon with you~”

Damn it, he hated how Tsukuo is like a chic magnet. Yes, the man is handsome and of course, he cannot blame the ladies for being smitten over him but he has been seeing since the afternoon and now all these flirty gestures are starting to get on his nerves. First, he brings him here – basically bribes him with free food - and then, pulls off this shit!

Picking up his pace, Gintoki makes his way through the crowd, leaving Tsukuo behind. If that blondie is going to take his sweet time with his precious ladies, he might as well search for this new bar and get something to eat all by himself.

“Oh Gin-san!” A familiar voice call for him. His mind was so delved into Tsukuo’s apparent bachelor life that he forgot to notice he was passing by the teahouse. “Are you doing okay? ” Hinowa asks sweetly, walking towards him.

“Um…yeah. I’m-I’m fine. That was- I was asking those questions f-for a friend of mine. Sorry for leaving like that.” Gintoki nervously chuckles, scratching his head. It’s better if he just stay quite instead of bombarding her with another set of ridiculous questions like before.

“I see. That’s good to hear. I was worried.” The rave-haired woman politely smiles.

“Um, yeah. Tsukuo mentioned.” There is a hint of disappointment in his voice as his eyes fall on the dusty street. “But you didn’t need to tell him to take day off for me.”

“Oh, but he was way more worried than me. At first, he just simply went back to work when you left. But I could tell how much he was worried.” Hinowa instantly replies, catching Gintoki’s attention. “You know how that man is. Always working and acting like he doesn’t care when he actually does.”

Baffled, Gintoki looks back up to find the woman giving him her signature smile. “You mean-”

“AHHH HINOWA!” The loud voice quickly interrupts their little chat as Gintoki finds a heavy arm casually crash around his shoulders, making the poor man wince. “I’m treating this dude for dinner at Sato-san’s place.” Tsukuo fakes an excited grin.

Not noticing the slight blush on Tsukuo’s face in the dim light, Hinowa beams excitedly. “Oh, that’s great! Their bar is right around the corner. You must taste their kushiyaki, Gin-san -- Tsukuo, don’t forget!”

“Yes ma’am!” Tsukuo obediently notes and starts dragging Gintoki by his neck. “Now let’s get you something to eat!”

“I can walk on my own, damn it!” Comes Gintoki’s grumbling as he frees himself from Tsukuo’s death grip.

“Yeah, yeah, ojii-san.”

“Who’re ya calling ojii-san, bastard!?”

As the two continue their banter on the way, Hinowa lets out a chuckle, waving at them. “Enjoy you two!”

A few moments later, the two enter the new izakaya which appears quite crowded due to its growing popularity. The interior seems to be pretty much similar to Otose’s snack bar – with a bar counter stretching to their right and a few dining tables to their left with customers enjoying their meal – the lively atmosphere feels refreshing. But what catches Gintoki’s interest is a savory aroma of grilled meat around the room that almost made his mouth water.

Walking up to the bar counter, Gintoki takes a seat on one of the stools with Tsukuo sitting beside him. He watches the man take his kimono off and place it on lap, exposing his well-toned biceps that can make every man in the bar look away in envy. Yes, even him.

“Ojii-san, two beef kushiyaki and one sake.” Tsukuo signals the old man behind the counter who quickly responds with a “Coming right up!” with a big smile.

Gintoki gives him a surprised look. “You don’t drink?”

“Nope. Never have.” Tsukuo honestly replies. “Does Tsukuyo?”

“Oh, yes! She loves drinking.” the silver-haired samurai exclaims, remembering all the times when they trashed countless bars together after getting wasted. “But that woman is terrible at handling her liquor.”

This catches his interest. “Really?”

“Yeah!” Gintoki shivers at the thought of his drunken wife’s face. “Give her one drop of alcohol and she turns into a savage beast! I got my head smashed by a bottle of sake when we first had a drink together.”

Tsukuo lets out a chortle. “Damn, I guess it’s better for me to not drink then.”

“Good choice. I call her ‘the drunk terminator’.” Gintoki proudly declares the infamous nickname he once gave to his lovely wife.

The old man places their order in front of them to which Tsukuo gives him a generous nod before turning his attention back to their little chat. “That’s why you called me Arnold Schwarzenegger’s lookalike back when I came to your house.”

Gintoki chuckles and picks a kushiyaki from his place. “Who else am I supposed to compare the brawny male version of my wife with, then?”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.” With that said, the two dig in to their plates. “Itadakimasu!”.

Taking a bite of the flavorful kushiyaki, Gintoki hums in delight. “This is really good - Ojii-san, I’ll have another of this!”

“You really don’t say no to free food, do you?” Tsukuo shakes his head, not surprised by this habit of his at all.

“Well, you offered.” Gintoki slyly replies with a mouthful to which Tsukuo feels his lips curl.

The two then continue to eat in silence, with Gintoki sneaking a few glances at the distracted man who now has again started smoking from his kiseru after the old man offered his an ashtray. Something about this entire day feels off and yet, with him, he felt at ease. Still does, actually. Perhaps, it’s because Tsukuo’s the only one who knows about his condition. Or perhaps, he’s just trying to deny the fact that he’s, at the end, the same person deep down inside that he has always felt at ease with.

Gintoki recalls the horoscope news– your love will be tested – that’s what it said. Maybe, now he understands what the test really means. But to say it out loud to him; wouldn’t that make things awkward? Because, at the end, this Tsukuyo has no reminisce of the things they have shared together…And the last things he wants to be called is a creep by his own wife.

‘Just talk to him, damn it!’ Slapping himself inside his head, Gintoki pours a glass of sake for himself and chugs it down in one go, loudly exhaling at how unusually strong it tastes. However, before he could bring up the subject, he watches a middle-aged woman wearing a lavish kimono walk to their direction.

“Tsukuo-san, I didn’t expect you to be here.” The woman stands to his right, her silky tone didn’t going unnoticed by Gintoki as she casually puts a hand on Tsukuo’s shoulder.

Something inside Gintoki catches fire.

“Oh, Kirishima-san, what brings you here?” Standing up from his seat, Tsukuo places his kimo and generously greets the lady who, not so surprisingly, reminds Gintoki of a jorogumo. What about personal space- she even has the audacity to stand so damn close to him.

“Oh, nothing, nothing.” The said sophisticated Kirishima-san replies as she coyly places a hand on his chest. “You haven’t been here the whole day, I was looking for you.”

Gintoki chugs down another cup, the burning sensation in his body no longer because of the alcohol.

“Oh, um, I’ve been a little busy.” Tsukuo nervously glances at Gintoki who seems to have been declared invisible by the woman while he continues to drink his sake. He looks furious. “Is there something that you wanted to talk about?”

“Oh, yes. Regarding the donation work.” Kirishima-san says courteously. “If it’s okay, would you like to come outside for a little?”

“Ah, yes, I almost forgot about it.” Tsukuo apologetically says as he escorts the vixen-like lady outside of the bar. Whether it’s just work or not, this Kirishima-lady definitely has ulterior motives.

From the corner of his eyes, Gintoki watches the two chat about something that’s pretty much inaudible to him. The woman says something and Tsukuo nods. Then Tsukuo says something and the woman flirtatiously giggles. From this little view, he could say how badly she wants to get into his pants. However, he feels his blood boil when the woman starts to seductively rub her hand over his left exposed arm, as if he’s her little plaything. And Tsukuo doesn’t seem to mind at all!

‘Hah! He really is a player!’ Immediately, Gintoki looks away before he could see that Tsukuo has politely taken the woman’s hand off his arm.

Scoffing, he drinks up the rest of the liquor from the bottle, sighing in satisfaction. Again, this wasn’t the first time he is seeing this side of Tsukuo but it would be a lie to say none of it…disturbs him. Not even a slightest. Of course, he understands the two are different and never can he ask the person to be someone else but still, isn’t this the same person? At this point, he really cannot comprehend any of such thoughts. And by now, he can feel the alcohol kick in, making his mind all dizzy and muddled.

“Ya know, Ojii-san, I’ve a wife! She’s jus’ the best in the world!” Gintoki slurs in front of the old man, his mind now all foggy. Never had one bottle of sake been enough for him. But tonight, it’s somehow started to show its effects.

“You are a lucky man, sir.” The old man smiles at him.

“Right~” Gintoki hiccups, a goofy smile now plastered on his flushed face. “And she’s called the Shinigami Tayuu, isn’t that cool!?”

“That’s a very great name, sir.”

“Wanna show me where she is?” Ginotoki giddily whispers, just like a little child who has found lost treasure.

The man politely nods “Of course.”

Directing his thumb outside the door, Gintoki points at the Tsukuo with lopsided grin. “There! That man with the blond hair my wife!”

Hearing his little declaration, the old man laughs rather awkwardly while Gintoki continues to ramble. “Isn’t that funny? Like, she was this really sexy, badass woman before but poof, she’s a sexy, badass man now! And seriously, I don’t ‘ave any problem with tha’. But she doesn’t even remember anything! She doesn’t even love me anymore and is now flirting with other girls!” Slapping the counter loudly, he lets out a dry laugh, making the customers nearby look at his direction.

“Sir, I think you’ve had enough drink today. It’s better if you return back home with Tsukuo-dono.” The old man politely says, now giving him a concerned look as if he is now some drunk who has lost all his senses. Seriously, who was he kidding? There is no chance anyone will ever believe his words. And truthfully, a drunk’s confession is generally considered gibberish.

Exhausted and slightly dizzy, Gintoki stands up from his seat. “That guy will pay.” With that said, he leaves the bar quietly.

*****

Staggering on his feet, Gintoki somehow manages to get out of the flashy and lively streets and enters a dark, deserted alleyway. The full moon shines brightly above him, fortunately enough for him to not lose his steps and stumble down on his face like some cheap, homeless drunk. His head aches and at this moment where he has no solution to whatever-this-is, giving up seems like the only option.

“Oi, Gintoki!” The familiar voice call to him…yet again. And just like this afternoon, he wants to avoid it.

“Will ya just wait!?” Tsukuo yells again, his breathing heavy as Gintoki finally stops at his place and faces him.

“…What do ya want?”

“Why did you leave like that?” Tsukuo asks, slowly walking closer to him.

“You seemed busy with the pretty lady so I left.” Comes his cold response, making Tsukuo stop just a few steps away from him.

Gintoki expected a cocky laugh. Instead he finds Tsukuo gravely looking at his direction.

“…it was work. Really.”

Oh yeah, sure it was work. It’s always work. Whether it’s in here or there, it’s always work! And goddamn it, he was so tired of listening. All he has been trying to do for the last few weeks is to be a good, supportive husband who does not nag his wife for overworking or not spending enough time with him. If he’s being honest, he was angry, really angry at everything. But the moment he tries to make things better, some stupid horoscope predictions decides to test his affection for his wife and now, he’s stuck here with an alternate version of his wife.

Despite all this, he decides to stay quite again. No way is he going for another round of ranting session. Exhaling sharply, Gintoki rubs his temple again. “You know what, instead of doing all this, I should be looking for a way out. But for some dumbass reason, I ended up spending the entire day with you and watched you smug ass getting constantly flocked by your fangirls who you just shamelessly flirt with while I’m constantly reminded that you are not the person I love when I know it’s not true!”

….He failed. He ended up rambling again.

And so to calm himself, Gintoki breathes in. A long, deep breathe. While the man standing in front of him freezes on spot, dumbfounded and speechless.

“…were you jealous?” Tsukuo finally finds his voice back and carefully takes a step forward.

“Of course I was jealous!” The permhead finally admits.

“Why?” And another step forward…

Gintoki scoffs. “Really? You’re asking me ‘why’?”

“Yes.” And another…

He sighs loudly. “Because I love you.” And Tsukuo smiles.

“Even when you are this flirty, cocky man! Even when you don’t remember a thing about us! Even when I know that you don’t love me here! Because whether you’re Tsukuo or Tsukuyo, deep down, I know it’s you. It will always be you. The same person that I happily devoted my heart to and there’s nothing that I ever want to cha-“

Before Gintoki can finish, Tsukuo’s presses his lips against his, shutting him up in an instant. And Gintoki freezes on his spot, his hands awkwardly dangling around his sides while his eyes widen in surprise. There is nothing too fierce and hungry about the kiss; it feels like the ones they always share after waking up, chaste and full of love. Slowly, Gintoki closes his eyes and returns the kiss back with the same favor as his. Unlike the soft and pink ones, his lips are slightly chapped. And yet, the taste and smell of smoke he has so gotten used to is enough to tell him that yes, he’s kissing the right person.

Shortly later, the two pull back. Panting, Tsukuo puts his head on Gintoki’s shoulder, hiding his now flushed face as they silently stand there, savoring this little moment.

“It’s good to hear that you still love me.” Tsukuo is the first one to break the silence, his voice a little muffled.

‘Still?’ Gintoki knits his brows, confused as he recalls the strange horoscope predication.

“Guess I’m bound to fall for you no matter what.” He can hear the relief in his voice as Tsukuo slowly raises his head. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

The test, this strange world…His smile said everything. “You knew…?”

Tsukuo doesn’t answer his question. Instead, he just lovingly smiles at him and says something else as Gintoki feels his vision get blurry, his face slowly disappearing before him as his voice gets replaced by the one he has been hearing for years.

“Wake up, sleepyhead. I’ve got something to tell you.”

*****

The stiff sofa cushion has made his back ache painfully as Gintoki slowly sits up, stretching his arms and legs to loosen up his sore muscles. Sluggishly, he scans the surrounding to find the bulb above him glowing and outside the window, its pitch black, suggesting its night by now. He doesn’t even remember when he fell asleep. The TV is right around the corner as always and so is the little shelf. And there are two frames kept there- one of the Yororzuya and the other of his wedding day…

“You’re awake.” His eyes snap open at the familiar….and feminine voice of his wife who emerges from their bedroom right behind him. Turing around, he finds Tsukuyo walk up to him with her nightgown on.

In an instant, Gintoki jumps up from his seat and rushes to his wife, embraces her in a tight hug and almost making her lose balance. “OhmyGod, Gintoki! What’re you doing?”

Even her yelp didn’t make his huge grin disappear as he held his wife close, breathing in her freshly bathed scent. “I missed you!”

“H-huh? W-what’s the matter?” His sudden confession made the woman turn a deep shade of pink.

Pulling back from the hug, he lovingly presses his lips against hers. “I’m saying I missed you, woman!”

Watching the joyous smile on her husband’s face, Tsukuyo feels her lips curl up too as she caresses his cheeks affectionately. “I missed you too, you foolish man.”

“I just had the strangest dream ever. All just to see that no matter what or who you are, I will always end up falling for you.” Placing a hand on her heart, Gintoki looks at the love of his life with the brightest smile on his face. “It practically called you my soulmate.”

Hearing this, Tsukuyo lovingly holds her husband’s face in her palms, her amethyst eyes and soft voice entrancing him for the rest of his life. “Soulmate or not, I’ll always fall for you, too. No matter what.”

This makes the man exhale a sigh of relief. “I love you.” Gintoki says and leans in to touch his forehead with hers.

“I love you, too. And I’m sorry I couldn’t spend time with you for the last couple of weeks. You even came to meet me today but I couldn’t make it.” Tsukuyo apologetically says and closes her eye, finding comfort in his embrace.

Instead of asking when he went to meet her, Gintoki gently presses a kiss on her forehead and looks back at her. “Don’t apologize. Just…don’t overwork yourself, okay? And take a break. I was thinking of keeping it a surprise but let’s go somewhere for anniversary, on a trip.”

To his offer, Tsukuyo happily hums in response. “Okay. Let’s go.” Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulls him for a hug which he happily accepts.

Gintoki doesn’t remember what exactly happened here; the dream is only that he has memories of. And yet, there is a part of him that knows that wasn’t just a dream. However, instead of pondering about the past, he’d rather live in the present. After all, he deserves this moment of happiness his wife after getting his mind bombarded by a strange ‘test’.

“By the way, I think I’ll have to take a longer break.”

At this, Gintoki pulls back a little, slightly confused. “Huh?”

Looking down, he watches Tsukuyo take his hand off her waist and slowly bring it to her belly while Gintoki looks back up at her, astonished and completely speechless.

“Looks like you’re gonna be a father again, Sakata-san.” Watching the sexy smirk adoring her beautiful face, Gintoki feels his face go from surprised to purely ecstatic. And in an instant, he sweeps her off her feet, spinning her around in exhilarating joy while Tsukuyo giggles warmly in his arms.

“WE’RE GONNA PARENTS SOON!”

“Hahahaha! Gintoki, stop it!”

“WE’RE GONNA BE PARENTS SOON , BABY!”

“Yes, yes! I know! Now put me down!”

In between their giggles and joyous laughs, the two stop midway in their little celebration as Gintoki carefully brings the woman down. His wide, goofy grin never leaves his face and he once again presses his lips against hers, which she wholeheartedly returns. No way can he ever explain how happy he is now. After years of running away, after years of calling himself unworthy of love, he finally found someone who now shares her life with him. And never in this lifetime or any other, would he like to change that.

“Thank you for making me the luckiest man in the world.”

#gintsu #gintoki x tsukuyo #gintoki x tsukuo #sakata gintoki #tsukuo #tsukuyo #my fanfic #gintama

20 notes · View notes

ohthatsviolet · 3 years

Text

31 Days of Apex - Day 19 - Discovery

Pairing: Fuse/Bloodhound

Words: 1,127

Summary: Walter discoveries that he and Bloodhound may be more similar than he thought, but Bloodhound’s not quite ready to hear it.

"Alright, tell me then," Walter began, leaning back on his elbow. "How'd someone like you end up in these Games?" Bloodhound turned their face towards him and despite seeing nothing but the rounds of their goggles, Walter could tell their eyes were firmly fixed on him. "Someone like me?" "Ah, you know what I mean," Walter said, reaching over to his pack and pulling out a bottle of beer, undoing the cap against his metal shoulder. "You love being out in places like this, don't ya? Huntin'. Being free. Why waste your time in a dusty old arena?"

The hunter's mask turned away and Walter couldn't tell if they were shifting in their seat because the ground was making them uncomfortable, or he was. "The thrill and honour the hunt brings is still calls to me, despite the prey. That is what I fight for. Why I slátra." "Bit ominous, Houndie." "I'm surprised someone like you knows such a word." Walter chuckled and took a sip from his drink; he supposed he'd earned that one.

“I suppose for me, it was a fresh start. Something I could do on me own,” Walter said, letting his head fall back slightly to look at the starred sky above their heads. “Well, it was supposed to be.” He quickly glanced at Bloodhound, the trinkets hanging from their helmet swaying back and forth slightly, as if they were nodding along with him.

Walter had been on many trips like this in his younger years with his father, camping and hunting, though their excursions usually involved more rowdiness with a larger crowd, more alcohol and maybe a friendly fight or two. However, he remembers how even those trips had their quieter moments, when everyone had gathered around the campfire, tired as the buzz from the day tangled itself with the fire’s smoke and drifted away into the night sky. One person would begin to speak and others would eventually join, and you always went to bed that night knowing someone a bit better, their stories, their struggles, their heart. And that's exactly what he was trying to achieve right now.

“You doubt your 'fresh start'?” Bloodhound asked, without looking at him, preferring to twirl a small twig into the mud instead. Walter ran his fingers over his moustache in thought; he honestly wasn’t sure. “Maybe,” he hummed, quietly. “Didn’t pan out the way I thought it would but...it’s something.” “You hoped for something different?” “Thought I’d be the big hero. Being the first Salvonian in the bloody Games, eh? Instead...Well, you know what happened.” “You will be known as a hero, Walter Fitzroy. You faced great peril to assist with retrieving the antigen. The Outlands will see you as a hero. Perhaps not the fate you wished for, but you are a hero nonetheless.”

Walter took a long drink from his beer, nodding thoughtfully to himself. He paused when he realised what was happening; he was the one being encouraged to speak, not the other way around. “Come on then, tell me something,” he said, noticing the way the hunter’s shoulder twitched at his words. “Tell me how you ended up here. I bet it's a bloody ride of a story.” Bloodhound appeared to sigh behind their mask. “It is a long story and not a tale I wish to be told.” “Ah, and here I am wearing me heart on me sleeve like a bloody fool,” Walter quipped, though even he was unsure if there was a hint of truth behind it.

He remained quiet after that - both of them did - and he reached into his pack to open another beer. He listened to the crackling of the fire while he swirled the liquid around his tongue, barely hearing the whisper of Bloodhound’s voice when they finally decided to speak. “His name was Boone.”

Walter wasn’t sure how much time went by as Bloodhound told their story, the only sign it had passed at all being the new empty beer bottles that had been added to his collection. They told him how they met this Boone, of the time they spent together, though he sensed he wasn’t being given all the details, and of his untimely demise. He seemed like a right arsehole if Walter was honest, but he decided to keep that opinion to himself for now.

Bloodhound lay back slightly when they came to the end of their tale, using their hands to support themself, their gloved fingers curling into a small tuft of grass. “His death was dishonorable. I'm no fool. I know this. That is why I fight. I shed bloth in these arenas so the Allfather may accept my offerings on his behalf and allow him to rest in the halls of Valhalla.” "Why?" Walter blurted, feeling slightly more confident as the alcohol began to settle in his system. "If not me, then who?" Bloodhound replied, coldly. "Who will fight for his honour?" "I'm sure he's...wherever he's supposed to be, Houndie. We have to believe that." "I will believe it when I draw my last breath and we finally meet again. If the Allfather wills it." "So...you're just going to dedicate your entire life to him then?" "To the Allfather? It is my path." "That's not what I meant."

The campsite seemed to grow colder, despite the fire continuing to crackle away contentedly. Something about this situation was making Walter feel uneasy and he shuffled himself to sit closer to the hunter, thinking he’d already figured out the answer. “Remember after Maggie...you told me I wasn’t responsible for the mess she caused. ‘You’re not bound by her wrongdoings’. You told me that. And I believed you.” “You are not.” “Neither are you.” He rested a hand on their shoulder and they bristled, shrugging him off. “It is not the same.” “Isn’t it? Well…maybe not exactly. But I might have some idea of what you're feelin'.” “Many people on your home planet would believe Maggie died with honour. She fought for a cause she believed in. We may not see it as right but…," they shook their head. "What Boone did…” “Isn’t your mistake to make up for.”

Bloodhound stood suddenly, brushing down the front of their coat before moving to prepare their bedroll. “I must rest now. Tomorrow’s journey will be a long one.” Walter ran a hand through his hair in guilty-frustration; this isn’t how he wanted the night to end. “Houndie...Come on, I’m sorry, alright? You know me and my big mouth. Didn’t mean none of it.” They turned just enough to look over their shoulder at him, their goggles appearing to glow slightly in the low light. “My name is Blódhundr. Prepare yourself. We leave before dawn.”

#apex legends #apex legends fanfic #31 days of Apex #fusehound

34 notes · View notes

cedric-stories · 3 years

Text

A Royal New Year Party

Word Count: Around 2,400

Plot: After getting done planning a New Year’s Eve party, Cedric meets a man that makes the sorcerer question his relationship with you.

Warnings: Angst and language

Author’s Note: This just came to me cause people used to be such jerks to my ex about us being a couple. So, kinda personal and kinda just I adore Cedric and want my baby to know he’s loved.

Author’s Note note: Okay, so I had another fic like this but I’m finally gonna address it; the world is set in our time so there are cell phones and stuff. I know I changed it from the show, but it was just easier for me. Also, this is gonna be the last fic for a few days. tbh, I haven’t even started the next ones, but I do have outlines. Hope you enjoy and happy New Year!!!

Reader pronouns: she/her

A Royal New Year Party

Here it is, the greatest party of every year. The royal family’s enchanted New Year’s Eve party was only a few hours away.

“Cedric, could you please conjure another bouquet of roses?”

“Cedric, can you please just conjure one more turkey? The chef ran out of bird, so he is begging you to make one; but please don’t tell the King!”

“Cedric, can you put the floating plates over here?”

“Cedric, can you conjure a few more chairs?”

“Cedric, where is god’s name is that turkey!?”

Yes, these were the sounds the poor sorcerer had been listening to all day. Everyone and their chef have been pestering him. He was in the middle of all the bustling and rustling. Things at been nonstop for hours and he was getting sick of it. The past day, he had been conjuring plates, chairs, ovens, instruments, and everything in between to make this party amazing. King Roland expected the very best to wow his guests, so he wanted Cedric not only to create dozens of items, but to enchant everything.

The King wanted enchanted chairs that could sway with the music, enchanted instruments that could play on their own to give the orchestra a break, and enchanted silverware that could dazzle the guests with dancing and singing. It was quite complicated to cast spell after spell (especially enchanted ones) and it was beginning to tire the man.

Cedric was finishing up one more spell when he heard footsteps behind him.

“Well done, Cedric!” The king boomed from behind the sorcerer, scaring him out of his wits.

“Thank you, your majesty. I am honored.” He said, turning and bowing his head.

“You’re very welcome, things are coming along nicely. Now, since you’ve been working all day, have you given any thought to what you have planned tonight?”

Cedric lifted his shoulder in a half shrug.

“No, I haven’t really thought of anything.”

“Well then,” Roland paused, gesturing to all the gold and black decorations, “why don’t the two of you celebrate the new year with us? I’m sure y/n would love it.”

“I-we would love to and I greatly appreciate the offer,” Cedric started, “but I think we are going to celebrate the new year just the two of us.”

Roland gave Cedric a disappointed look.

“Alright, if you insist. We will all miss you and y/n. If you change your mind, you guys are welcome.”

“Thank you, your highness.” He said, beginning to walk out of the ballroom through majestic, golden doors.

Cedric trudged through the halls of the castle. He came across the coffee shop on the corner of the ballroom and royal dining hall and scurried into line to get a cup.

Workers of all types stood back to front. One man wearing a blue vest, top hat, and holding a scepter in his hands was in front of cedric.

“Hello, sir. The name’s Jonathan” The man greeted the sorcerer. His eyes seemed warm and inviting enough to talk to.

“Oh, hello.” Cedric answered, barely shaking his head to try, and come to consciousness.

“What do you do around here, fine man?”

“I’m the royal sorcerer for Enchantcia. You may know me by Cedric the Sensational?”

The man looked perplexed for a minute, then, as if realization came down from the gods, Jonathan’s face turned up and Cedric could see the lightbulb come on.

“Oh yes! You are the one who tried taking over the kingdom a few years back!”

Cedric cringed.

“Yes, I am.” He said, trying hard not to recall those memories but nevertheless, remembered them vividly.

“My, I was sure good old Kind Roland would have you executed for that!”

“Oh yes, didn’t we all?” Cedric rolled his eyes.

“And the way the towns folk talked about you, it musta been hard to show you face around them parts for a while, eh?”

“Eh.” Cedric sarcastically parroted back.

“Why, never in my wildest dreams would old Winnie and Goodwin’s kiddy ever try a stunt like that.”

“Yes, quite,” Cedric paused, narrowing his eyes at the man, “foolish of me.”

“You know, your father saved old’ king Roland’s daddy from a few monsters like yourself!”

“yes, yes, I know. Oh look, you’re at the counter, time to order now.” Cedric rushed.

“Oh, look at that. Hi, ma’am, I’ll have a…”

Once the man had finished ordering, cedric got up to the counter and ordered a cold caramel frappe. After, he went to sit down and wait. The bustling of people became a background noise and Cedric finally got some peace. While he sat and tried to unwind-

“There you are good buddy!” The same talkative man said, jostling over to Cedric.

“Here I am.”

After a long talk about Cedric’s wrongs, the man began to inquire about Cedric’s personal life.

“So, I doubt after your long, ungrateful journey back to civilized living hadn’t brought you company of any kind?”

Cedric believed the man meant a significant other but wasn’t really sure.

“Pardon?”

“A woman! Have you gotten yourself a woman?!”

Cedric gave the man a blank stare and leaned away from his sudden enthusiasm. Why in god’s name does this man want to know so much about him? He thought about telling him or not. If I do, he’s going to go on how I don’t deserve someone, or not believe me entirely. And why does he just presume I have a woman? Has the man never heard of two men living happily together? Why does this man care so much about my life?

“I do have a significant other.” Cedric finally let out.

“Well for heavens sakes, how the hell did you get one?”

“Well, we met over a year ago and- “

“No one in her right mind would want you. You’re so unstable compared to others your age. Eh, she’s probably just waiting’ on someone better anyways.”

Cedric was now completely offended and didn’t really know how to answer. Without saying another word, he rose to get his coffee from the counter and left.

On his walk home, Cedric began thinking.

I have been with Y/N for almost a year. I don’t deserve her. Does she even want to be with me? Maybe I’ve just fooled myself into thinking she really loves me when all this time she’s only stayed around cause there’s no one else. Maybe he’s right, maybe it was just weird I found her. She probably is just waiting for someone better to come along and leave…I’ve done so much wrong, maybe she doesn’t even want me?

After his long debate, Cedric headed upstairs to his tower. The stone walls felt cold against cedric’s fingers as he guided himself up three floors of spiraled stairs. He looked out one of the windows to see the sun turning orange as it set over glistening red trees. It was beautiful in Enchantcia tonight. After looking for only a minute, he started back up the stairs.

Once he had made it to the door, he took a big breath and he walked in to find his girlfriend sitting crisscrossed on a table. You were wearing Black lacy shorts with flowers embroidered along with a spaghetti strapped top that matched. Trying to pick up your phone off the floor, you were dangling from the edge. You grabbed your phone and looked up to see your boyfriend.

“Ceddy! You’re finally home.” You smiled, jumping off the table onto your sorcerer. Your hair was in a messy bun and fluffed up into his face when you grabbed onto him for a hug.

“Hello, Angel.”

“I’ve been missing you all day.” You said, snuggling in tighter.

“I have too. Oh, this is for you.” He said, giving you a hot mocha.

Your smile widened. “Thank you!” After grabbing the hot beverage from him, you look a sip, and placed it on the table.

“You look tired.”

“I am tired.” Cedric laughed, hugging you. He was happy to be home to you until he started remembering the conversation he had with Jonathan.

Noticing him grow somber, you asked him if he was okay.

Cedric hesitated, “Yes, just tired I think.”

“Okay, why don’t you take a nap?” You asked, still having a questioning look on your face.

“I may.”

You kissed him gently on the cheek and made sure he got to the bedroom. Closing the door behind you, you decided to grab a book and read until he woke.

…

After a few hours, you decided to check on Cedric. You wanted to make sure he was okay after what happened earlier.

Walking into the bedroom, you found your boyfriend already awake on his phone.

“Hello.” You greeted, walking along the side of the bed.

Cedric nodded at you.

Carefully, you made you way to the upper part of the bed and sat down. Noticing his standoffish actions, you scooted closer to him.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Please, tell me.” You quietly pleaded.

He looked over at you with glassy eyes. His face was full of pain, but you just couldn’t put a finger on what upset him.

“Did I say or do something?”

“No.” He answered, shifting away from you slightly.

“Cedric, tell me what’s wrong.” You grabbed his hand and put it on your lap.

He ran his other hand through his hair, and you noticed his shoulders tense.

“Y/n,” he paused, his voice almost choking, “why-why do you stay here?”

You became confused.

“What?”

“Why do you stay here…with me?”

“I don’t u- “

“You have been with me for almost a year, and for merlin’s sake I have no idea why you stay.”

“I love you.” You said, without thinking twice.

Cedric’s eyes met yours.

“I love you, but I just don’t see how you could love me.”

You could feel the sting of tears in your eyes.

“Cedric, how could you not see- “

“Do you know what I am?”

You stared at him, “Do I know what you are?”

“Yes. Do you know what I am?”

You ran your hand up his arm gently, “You’re mine.”

“No. I mean, do you understand what I’ve done? I’ve tried overthrowing the kingdom, I plotted against the royal family for years. Everything had a terrible motive, everything I did was selfish, I dreamed of making others bow before me. I am not a good person.”

“Cedric! Of course, I know that. I’ve always known all of that. I love you for you. You are a good person now, and I don’t care about your past, I love you for everything you are and once was.”

Cedric looked down then he cocked his head.

“Once was?”

You took a breath.

“Cedric, I’ve never admitted it, but I really don’t care you tried overthrowing the kingdom. It’s not healthy, I know, but sometimes I think my love for you is stronger than my morals.” You laughed nervously. “You are my person, my lobster, as some show would say, and no matter what, I love you. I’m not saying what you did was right, but because I love you, I overlook it easily.”

He grabbed ahold of your hand and you wrapped your arm around him. He hugged you back tightly and you knew he felt better. You kissed the side of his cheek and laid you head on his chest.

“What even made you think of that, love?”

“Nothing, I guess I just will never quite get used to you being mine.”

The two of you sat in silence for a minute, then cedric turned towards you.

“The royal family is having a party tonight to bring in the new year. I was wondering if you would want to go. The King invited us.”

You beamed a smile.

“I’d love to!”

About an hour later, the two of you were walking down the hall towards the ballroom.

Once you arrived, you were greeted by a loud orchestra and babbling voices. The room was full of women in suits and dresses and men in the same attire. It was an extravagant gathering with gold and black streamers lining the walls and draping over the ceiling. At the front of the room sat the orchestra with its self-playing instruments and band members walking about. Some guests sat on floating chairs and plates that followed behind others walking. Workers hurried around, grabbing dirty, golden silverware.

Cedric and you started over to the royal table when Sofia came running over.

“Mr. Cedric! Miss. Y/n! I’m so happy you guys could come.” She shouted over the music, running up and giving Cedric a hug followed by yours.

“I’m glad we could. Please tell your father that we are very grateful.” You said to the young girl wearing the pink amulet.

“I will. Are you guys going to sit down? There’s two chairs next to me.”

“Yes, we are. We’ll be over in a minute. Thanks again.”

“No problem.” Sofia replied, running off to greet the other guests.

You had almost made it over to the table when a loud voice practically yelled at Cedric.

“Cedric! There you are old buddy!”

Cedric’s shoulders stiffened again.

“Hello, Jonathan.”

“Who you got with you?”

“This is y/n, she’s my girlfriend.”

The man looked you over and made you rather uncomfortable.

“Oh my god! She’s beautiful! What the hell did you have to bribe her to come with?”

Your eyes flung wide open and you gasp.

“What?” You asked in a flat tone.

“No offense to you ma’am, You’re beautiful! I’m just wondering’ how he got someone like you,” he glanced at Cedric, “with his past and all.”

You shot Jonathan an angry look.

“For your information, I love this man with all my heart and want to be with him for who he is. If you can’t accept that then you can just kindly leave us alone!” You snapped.

The man looked shocked.

“Well, I guess if you’re happy- “

“I am happy. Thank you.”

“It was nice seeing you again old buddy.”

“A pleasure really.” Cedric smiled, wrapping his arm around you.

The two of you began walking away. You couldn’t believe how rude he had been. Before you had gotten too far, you were boiling over with anger and wanted that man to know you adored Cedric. Suddenly, you whipped around to make sure he was still watching. You grabbed Cedric by the collar and kissed him firmly on the lips.

Jonathan looked horrified at you. You gave a sarcastic smile at him and turned back around.

“Jackass.” You spat out under your breath.

“You have no idea.” Cedric agreed, placing his arm back around you tightly.

“I truly do love you, y/n.”

“I love you too, Cedric.”

Cedric and you made it to the table and joined the royal family. Later, the two of you along other couples shared a passionate kiss at 12am to welcome the new year.

#Cedric the sorcerer x reader #cedric the sensational x reader #cedric the sorcerer #cedric imagine #cedric x reader #Cedric is perfect and no one can change my mind #Fluffy #angst #angst with a happy ending #cute #happy new year #not my anything #terrible writing #probably needs editing #love all my followers #thanks for the support #this fic made me believe i am a bad writer lol #new fanfic writer #fanfic

112 notes · View notes

obxfishon · 4 years

Text

Chasing Waterfalls

(this gif has my heart (LOOK AT THAT SMILE), creds to the creator)

JJ x Reader

Description: Emotions flow like the water in the waterfall.

Prompts: “I wish I had a boyfriend.” “so what do you look for in a guy?” “real stuff, like the shape of his ass” “So, I found this waterfall…”

Word Count: 1.9k (I’m slacking sry)

“BYE MOM I’LL BE HOME TOMORROW!” You scream as you run from the house.

John B’s was pretty close, and you were about to make today unforgettable. The crew had been down in the dumps thinking that there wasn’t anything new for them to do, it was just the same old same old, but you found something at work yesterday.

You work at the country club with JJ, you both applied together a few summers ago when it was becoming apparent that you needed money to go on all the adventures.

While bussing a table yesterday, the girls behind you were talking about this amazing hike that led to a waterfall that had water deep enough that you could jump off into it. You read the name from their tab and searched for her instagram, sure enough she was public and posted the pictures from the hike with a location tag.

Saving the location you texted the Pogues to meet at John B’s tomorrow with food, proper shoes and a bathing suit. You didn’t want to give too much away but they needed to be at least a little prepared for what you had planned.

Racing onto the property you see that you are the last one to arrive, the rest all sitting on the porch trying to figure out what you have planned.

“Are you all ready to have the best day of your life?” You questioned as you jumped onto the porch with them.

“C’mon (Y/n), just spill, what do you have planned?” Kie asks, excitement evident in her voice.

“So, I found this waterfall, well I actually heard about it at work yesterday, but then I found the location and we’re gonna spend the day there!” You explain, watching the smiles grow on everyone’s faces.

“It’s about an hour and a half drive, but I think it’ll be so worth it!” You finish, slightly jumping up and down.

Everyone smiled and nodded and started packing everything that would be needed for the trip.

“(Y/n),” JJ squeezed you into a tight hug and spun you in a circle, “you have saved us all from extreme boredom, so, you’ve been moved up in the rankings and have become my favorite person, John B you’re now in second.”

“HEY! I thought I was forever at first?!” John B yelled from the van.

“Well I haven’t heard you offering any fun ideas, but you do house me and drive me places, just be happy you're still towards the top.” JJ remarked and grabbed the last load of things to bring to the van, throwing a wink your way.

You met JJ and the rest of the group when you moved here a few years back, your mom ran a convenience store that kept you afloat for the most part, getting a job at the county club helped you guys have a little extra cash after the bills were paid.

You clicked with the group better than anyone thought possible, together you all formed a family and there was nothing that could wedge between you all.

—-

The drive was full of awful karaoke and dances between all of you. The energy was unmatchable, everyone just letting go of the stresses of home.

Quicker than expected you all arrived and gathered the necessary belongings into backpacks before setting off on the small hike to where the waterfall was waiting.

It was a hot day and this seemed to be a popular spot to come so there were quite a few other people when you came over the final hill and laid eyes on the waterfall.

It was beautiful, the water fell perfectly and the water was a crystal blue, speckled with a few other people enjoying the cool water.

The group set up towels and the rest of the stuff in a sunny spot before heading for the ledge that people were jumping off. Kie wasted no time in running to the ledge and jumping off, letting out a yell of pure joy as her feet left the ground, she resurfaces with the biggest smile on her face, calling for the rest of you to follow.

John B, Sarah, and Pope followed, but you hesitated due to the nerves that came out of nowhere, JJ picked up on this.

“M’lady,” JJ held out a hand, offering a little extra confidence with it, that you took before both running to the end and jumping off, not letting go of him until you had to in order to swim back to the surface.

Everyone was swimming and throwing water on eachother, occasionally getting out to jump back in again moments later.

After a good amount of time it was decided to get out and take a little snack and rest break, so the group moved to the towels and relaxed in the warm sun.

Looking out to the water again you watch as a couple clung to each other as they floated around the water, just based on the way they looked at each other you could tell they were in love. Without thinking you opened your mouth.

“Ugh, I wish I had a boyfriend,” eyes slightly widening when it came out of your mouth, but you shrugged it off, everyone wished that… right?

“You know, (y/n), I don’t think I’ve ever even known you to date, have you?” Sarah moved her head up to look at you, as well as the rest of the group now.

“Nope, it’s hard to find someone who can handle me,” you smirked.

It was true, you hadn’t really dated before, sure you had crushes and had been in that weird talking stage before, but nothing ever became official.

You were a very strong willed girl, you knew what you wanted and how you wanted to be treated, and some people just seemed to be turned off or scared of that.

You also currently had a crush so deep that it didn’t really let you see anyone else as an option. As soon as you met JJ it was hard to ignore the butterflies that came every time he brushed your shoulder or smiled so big that it reached his eyes, just the small things.

“What do you even look for in a guy?” Kie propped her head up on her hands.

“Oh you know, real stuff, like the shape of his ass.” You smirked again and looked back at the group to see them all rolling their eyes and scoffing.

“Okay but really, what would it take to sweep you off your feet?” This time John B pushed.

Realizing you weren’t gonna be able to joke your way out of this you shrugged your shoulders.

“I mean, I don’t know. I want someone strong willed like myself, someone who really cares, would be willing to drop anything in order to help someone,” sighing you continue, “he needs to be a good listener, willing to pay attention to the little things. He needs to be able to make me laugh, that’s a big one. Oh! And someone who is giving, not like buying me things, I don’t need that, but someone who is willing to give me their time and is willing to work on things together.” You nodded your head and looked at them all, just staring back at you.

“You want someone the opposite of what your dad was.” JJ locked eyes with you and you felt your smile falter a bit.

“Yeah... yeah I guess.”

Your dad was awful to your mother, always told her that he could have done better, just rude and uncaring. When you were 12 your mother caught him cheating. She packed the two of you up and you left, she didn’t have a destination in mind, just drove until she ran out of land, literally. The two of you happened to stop at a gas station by the ferry and saw a listing for the small house that you two lived in now. She paid for a hotel for the week, got things in order to buy it, and set divorce papers to your father all in that week.

After that you two had started thriving in this new house, just you and her. Of course the divorce got messy, but he gave up custody of you without a fight, so after a year the divorce was final and you and your mother never spoke of him again.

“I learned from my mother what it means to be a strong woman, she taught me what it means to love someone, how to find the attributes of that love in someone else. She also taught me about where she went wrong, I know what traits can quickly turn toxic so when I see that in someone I keep my distance.” You are looking at the ground trying to hold back the tears.

Feeling an awkward silence you stood and plastered a fake smile on.

“I don’t know about y’all but I’ve had enough rest, I’m gonna go jump in again.” Nodding you turned and quickly walked to the other side of the water where the ledge was, where you were slightly hidden from the others.

Taking a deep breath you closed your eyes and just tried to forget about the memories that we’re trying to break through, this was supposed to be a fun day, so dammit you were gonna be happy.

“Hey, (y/n), are you okay?”

Your eyes shoot open to see JJ staring back into your own.

“Uh,” you plastered the smile back on, “yeah, yeah I’m fine!”

“Bullshit,” JJ pushes your hair behind your ear and then takes you into his arms, holding you in a tight embrace, “I’m sorry I brought up your dad, I know it’s a touchy subject, I wasn’t thinking, trust me of all people in our group I understand not wanting to talking about your dad, but you know I’m here for you no matter what.”

He felt a sob shake your body in his arms and held you closer, rubbing small circles on your back, then pulling away from you to wipe your tears.

“(Y/n), I’ll give you my time, my attention, shit, I’d give my life for you,” JJ looked down at his feet then met your eyes with his own, “I hate to see you in pain, let me make you happy, okay?” He smiled at you and you felt a smile grow in your own face, nodding as he wiped the rest of your tears from your cheeks.

He pressed a short kiss to your forehead and grabbed your hand as you two walked towards the original destination.

“You know, as far as the qualities you look for in a guy, I do have to say, I DO have the best ass around,” he looked at you, causing a short giggle.

“Eh I dunno, could use some work.” You tried to hide your smile as you passed him, your hand reaching out slapping his butt as you sprinted for the ledge, hoping he wouldn’t be able to catch you.

He caught up to you at the very end, grabbing your waist before you both launched off the cliff.

After landing in the water he kept his hold on you, you both just floated together, you head resting back on his shoulder.

Maybe he would be the first boy that passed your test, the one to finally break down your walls.

Only time would tell.

#jj maybank #jj maybank imagine #jj imagine #jj maybank x reader #jj x reader #jj obx #obx jj #obx imagine #obx #obx fanfiction #obxstuff #outer banks #outer banks imagine #imagine #fanfic

766 notes · View notes

gshinisalesbian · 3 years

Text

Midnight Moon

Kaeya x Reader (Part 1 of 3)

Living in Khaenri’ah was harsh and brutal. Those who could not fight would not survive, and even those who did survive would not do so for long. Children were so desperate for Mora and food that they would give their lives to train as spies before even hitting puberty.

Such was the same for you.

You had no parents, at least none that you knew of. It didn’t bother you at all. Most children in the land where the God’s turned away their eyes never knew such things as “family” or “home”. You weren’t special in that manner, and so you never felt like you were missing anything. Regardless, when you were 11, you decided you were tired of living on the streets. You knew the Gods would never help you, and that you were the only one who could help yourself.

So you, like many others, became a spy for Khaenri’ah. That was where you met him, Kaeya. His father had been a spy, so it seemed expected for him to become one too.

You didn’t associate with him much; you had no reason to. All you cared about was becoming stronger, so strong that the Gods would be forced to notice you. Your superiors eventually began to notice your growing power too, so it didn’t take long before you were considered the top of your class.

So really, it was no surprise when they started to prepare you and Kaeya, who’s “ranking” was just under yours, for a special mission.

“You’re still out training this late?” You heard a voice ask, stopping you current activity of slashing through wooden targets with your sword. You frowned, turning to see who had interrupted you.

Kaeya grinned at you, his hands placed on his hips. He had only recently hit puberty, his tan baby fat slowly growing into a strong face. His limbs were long and gangly, and his voice seemed uncertain of what octive it should be at.

Despite the oddness of his appearance, you had grown attached to him over the past year. Even though your superiors refused to tell you what your mission was, they made you train even harder than you had been for it. Their were many nights were you went to sleep with bruises littering your arms and dry tear stains on your cheeks.

But then, there was Kaeya.

After being told of your future assignment, the two of you had started to train together. You had started to look out for each other, making sure the other had enough to eat and went to sleep early enough. You even met his father, and even though you only felt coldness from him, you loved how excitedly Kaeya would talk about impressing him.

Smiling in recognition at the boy in front of you, you carefully placed the sword on the ground. “Yeah. I couldn’t sleep.” You moved closer to him, easily wrapping you arms around him.

He wrapped his arms around you waist, completing the hug and and smiling against your neck. Having hit puberty before him, you were just a brush taller than him, though you were sure that wasn’t going to last for long. You were going to enjoy it while it lasted.

“You could be doing something more interesting.” You heard his muffled tease reply.

You pulled away from him, glancing at him skeptically. “Oh yeah? Like what?”

He rolled his eyes in that playful manner he loved, grabbing your arm and dragging you away from the training area.

“Hey-! Kaeya, wait!”

“Hurry up!”

You rolled your eyes, walking faster as he pulled you to some unknown place.

“How did you find this place?” You gapped, eyes taking in the sight before you. It was high mountains surrounded by frozen valleys; there was a gentle nip in the air, a certain serenity that you could never feel in Khaenri’ah. “Where even is this place?”

“The border between Khaenri’ah and Snezhnaya.” Kaeya was sitting on the ground, his legs crossed and blue eyes watching only you. “Technically we aren’t supposed to be here, but what they don’t know won’t kill them,” he said with a small shrug.

You glared at him out of the corner of your eyes. “If this place wasn’t so beautiful, I would kill you.”

“Eh, go for it, my dearest partner.”

“Shut up.”

You watched the snow fall, trying to catch some in your hands. “It’s such a shame that these people follow the Cryo Archon’s rule. What has she ever done for them? The gods only know corruption and power.”

“I see your going into your rant about the Archons again,” Kaeya fondly replied with a playful laugh, though watched the snow himself curiously. “But you do have a point. Mondstadt would do anything for Barbatos, and he hasn’t been seen for years. Why do they worship a God who clearly doesn’t care for them?”

“Exactly!” You turned to him, a fire lit in your eyes. It was a strange thing to be passionate about, you knew. However, in Khaenri’ah, you had never known that divine love that people often described befitting an Archon. There was no Archon to watch over your home; it was every man for himself. You had been alone your whole life, until Kaeya came along.

You moved to sit down next to him, stretching out your legs in front of you. “And Rex Lapis only visits Liyue once a year. Even your father is better than that.” You scoffed, placing your head in the palm of your hand.

Kaeya frowned at that, but brushed aside the comment. “You know, people can say whatever that want about Khaenri’ah, but we get to choose our own lives and “fate” here. It’s not demanded of us by some Archon.”

You nodded in agreement, shooting him a small smile. “I’m glad. That I can choose my own fate.”

Kaeya let out a small laugh, an amused gleam in his eyes. “Yeah. Me too.”

A wave of silence washed over the two of you as you simply watched the snow fall down. Snezhnaya was truly beautiful, you thought, and you wondered what it would be like to live in a world where you could choose to go see it fully if you so desired. However, you were certain your surperiors would no hesitate to punish you if you even tried to do so.

“If you could go anywhere in Teyvat,” you heard Kaeya begin to ask, “where would you go?”

You considered the question, eyes turning to gaze up at the sky. You had never been anywhere outside Khaenri’ah, and even then, you had barely seen much of your own home. You had lived on the street for 11 years, but even then had stayed in the same area. Even now, you weren’t allowed to leave the training barracks or the watchful gazes of your superiors. This was the first time you had ever seen one of the “official” nations of Teyvat.

“Fontaine,” you answered eventually, thinking of the nation ruled by the Hydro Archon and the Goddess of Justice. “I’ve heard they have a lot of festivities there. It’s hard for common folk to ever see them, but I’ve heard that it’s still always so colorful and vibrate. It sounds so different from here.”

“I’ll take you there, some day,” you heard Kaeya promise, his voice steady and sure. “When we have enough Mora, we’ll go there together and see all the bright colors. The festivals too. We’ll be that rich.” Kaeya smiled, grabbing your hand near him as his blue eyes gazed into yours.

You smiled, a small laugh escaping your lips. “I’ll hold you to it.”

You and Kaeya were sent to Mondstadt, where you were supposed to secure intel for Khaenri’ah to use against them. Kaeya’s father had taken you there, anticipation building in your young body as the three of you made the long walk. You were finally seeing new horizons around you, and you felt so... free. You found it a bit ironic that you always looked down on Barbatos, the God of Freedom, and yet that was the only feeling that coursed through you as Mondstadt’s wind wove through your hair.

You glanced over at Kaeya, who seemed deep in thought. Over the past year, he had grown taller than you, his face and body slowly growing more defined, and his jaw sharper. His eyes had become more shadowed and masked, a result of the constant training he was put through.

You could say the same about yourself. You had learned how to bite your tongue and keep your thoughts buried inside you. You no longer talked so openly about your distastes for the Archons, and you no longer dared to sneak off again. The last time you had done so, when you and Kaeya snuck off to the border, your superiors had noticed you missing and had struck you until you could no longer stand. You were unable to see Kaeya for months, and the next time you saw him, you could no longer see the “him” you had known when you looked into his eyes. It all just seemed to be a facade, a well put together mask that he wore.

Still, you reconignzed the boy that you had grown close with still there, somewhere hidden behind the icy walls he had built, harsher than the snow falling that you had seen with him in Snezhnaya. You saw the boy that had promised to bring you to Fontaine one day, and you could not get rid of the fondness that settled over you.

Regardless, the two of you were to arrive at the Dawn Winery, where you would find a way to win the favor of Master Crepus and be taken in by him. His family was the most influential in all of Mondstadt, and you could certainly find out the nation’s darkest secrets through him.

Kaeya’s father kissed his forehead, shooting you a look out of the corner of his eye. “Be careful. Care for eachother.” That was all he said before you left you two, a pair of 13 year-olds with an impossible mission before them.

Terrified, you reached to your side and laced your fingers with Kaeya’s. You squeezed his hand tightly, trying to tame the pounding of your heart.

Whether to reassure you or himself, he squeezed back.

Here for Part 2!

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact fic #genshin impact headcanons #kaeya x reader #kaeya ragnvindr #genshin kaeya #genshin impact kaeya #kaeya

100 notes · View notes

glassartpeasants · 4 years

Text

Fragile Hearts

Tomura Shigaraki x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, Hanahaki disease, sad reader hours, reader is insecure, mentions of death, name calling, this is really sad so read at your own risk

A/N: I wish this shit didn’t hit different. Wanna know why? Probably because i’ve got 2 series going down at this moment. Crying In The Club plus and a Shigaraki one thats still in the making. So we’re suffering together ya’ll.

It’s angst month motherfuckers >:)

~~~

God he looked so handsome today. Those beautiful ruby eyes always found a way to creep into your brain. How could they not? You felt a wave love whenever you stared into them. It always gave your heart joy staring into them.

But it always gave you pain.

Maybe cause you were to afraid to confess? Or was the fact that he seemed to not even show a pinch of interest in you. Or was it the fact that he seemed much more interested in a different women every day. He didn’t even try to hide the fact that he indeed hire prostitutes or escorts.

You never showed it but every time you saw a different woman leave his quarters it always felt someone had stabbed you right through the heart. You knew he was a reserved and quiet man. Hell he barely talked to anyone if it wasn’t for a meeting or telling someone off. He was a pretty angry and harsh soul. While you, well,

You were that kind of soul that you would have given the shirt off your back to anyone in need. Many villains (mainly Dabi) asked why even bother becoming a villain if you were so kind to them all, in Dabi’s words “Villains are suppose to be rude and horrible.” It was an reasonable question really. The true reason you became a villain was simple.

You held a unruly grudge against heros.

When you were about 8 years old a fire had started in your family home. The flames were so bright. You remembered that day so vividly. The screaming of your family trying to get everyone out. But they were stuck inside while you had managed to go over to a neighbors house and call the cops but when you called and they heard your voice they said,

“Listen kid we have bigger things to do. Next time when you call make sure there’s a real emergency instead of prank calling us.” And then he hung up. The cops, who were there to protect you had hung up on you.

And that fateful call was what sealed your families fate.

After that, you never really believed in the hero system. They had failed you and your family. Which was lead you to villainy. You may have been a kind soul but you would rather use that kindness to help out someone who you feel is worthy. The League of Villains picked you up off the streets, so to you, they were your only family.

~~~

You laid down on the bed that occupied your room, staring at the ceiling. It was nicer then the old bar you guys use to live in but, to you it didn’t feel the same. You were happy for how far you guys came but it just felt like most of the PLF kinda made you sad. You didn’t know why but it did. Maybe was it due to the fact that you wanted it to be just the league? You weren’t fond of these new people. Probably cause they tore you down a lot.

Your quirk was Energy, your quirk allowed you to use energy of the sun to heal you and use sun rays. But the down fall of your quirk was that it was absolutely useless at night. So you had to rely on your combat skill in the night. That was one of the reasons they didn’t like you, cause your quirk kinda had a big flaw. But they also merciless teased you about being kind to your fellow league members.

You wanted to scream at them. Tell them off, do something at least but, no matter what you thought you could do. Your confidence faded when you remember that they would probably tell Tomura about your outburst. And since he has a habit of decaying people without warning, you just decided it was best to keep your pretty mouth shut.

You sigh as you get off your bed before changing your clothes to pj’s. You put on the black tank top and pajama pants which were super soft and fuzzy. Putting on some socks you open the door and make your descent into the kitchen. You tried to be as quiet as you could. Not wanting to wake anyone up while you ran to get a midnight snack.

Once reaching the kitchen you turn on the lights and almost let out a scream but took a breath instead.

“Oh geez Dabi, scared the shit outta me.” You laugh before making movements towards the fridge.

“Good, gotta keep that blood pumping.” He chuckled before setting his whiskey down.

You grab your snack before going next to Dabi and sitting down. You picked up your fork and begun to eat only to almost choke at Dabi’s words.

“So when are you gonna tell the boss you have a thing for him?” You almost choke on your food before looking at Dabi with wide eyes. What?! Was your staring that obvious? Oh god...

“H-how did you know?”

“We maybe surrounded by them but i’m no idiot. I can tell when someone has the hots for someone else. It’s just funny seeing you even try with that gremlin.” Dabi laughed at you while you crossed your arms.

“So what if I think he’s hot? I know that I’ll never have a chance with him, considering all the woman he has coming in and out of his office.” You say with hints of sadness in your voice. It wasn’t hard to tell. You knew what this feeling was. You knew you had grown a one-sided love for your boss.

“Well if you think that you better be careful.” You uncross your arms with a confused look on your face.

“If your talking about me getting with him I know’ll get my heart bro-”

“No, I’m talking about you getting Hanahaki Disease.” What in the ever loving hell is that?

“What the fuck is that?”

“I can tell you one thing is that it never ends up being in a happy ending. So pray you don’t get it.” Dabi said before drinking the rest of the whiskey and going towards his room.

You furrow your brows as you look down at the table. Hanahaki Disease eh? Well you could probably look it up tomorrow, since you have no missions tomorrow as far as your knowledge.

“The disease can’t be that bad, right?”

~~~

You wake up to a burning pain in your chest. You let out a little cough before going over to your bathroom to take a shower. This time you let out a louder cough, it felt like something was in your throat. Ugh this feeling was always the worst damnit.

You start coughing trying to get whatever the hell was in your throat out. You pounded at your chest before a little daisy popped out of your mouth. You fell on your ass while holding your throat, rubbing it as you looked at the flower with confusion.

“How did that get in my throat?” You crawl over a scoop up the daisy. Looking at it with amazement and confusion. This is impossible, how the hell?

Grabbing your phone you opened up google and searched online for any answers on what this could mean.

‘i just coughed up a flower, what the does that mean?’

You wait for the screen to stop loading only to drop the flower and scurry away from it as fast as possible.

No way...this couldn’t be real, how could this happen! You knew you liked your boss but when you read the article saying it can only happen from a one sided love you knew you were boned.

How can you get rid of a love that has taken so long to blossom? Only for it to be your down fall. You kept reading up on it while sitting on the bathroom floor. The more you read the more scared you became. You could die from it if you didn’t get it treated! But the procedure was said to be very risky and highly dangerous. So it was pretty much up to you to get over your feelings for Shigaraki. Yeah that was going to be a pain in the ass.

Time could only tell.

~~~

Day One

You sat at the meeting while your eyes couldn’t help but stare at him. He was so gorgeous, who could you ever compare to the girls he brings to his beck ad call? They were perfect! You just felt like no matter what you did, you never could get the attention of your leader. No, you need to work on yourself! The disease can’t get worse or else-

“(Y/N)! Were you even paying attention?” Shigaraki’s voice boomed causing you to yelp. Snickering could be heard around the table causing your face to heat up in embarrassment. You look at Spinner and he sends you a apologetic look.

“No Shigaraki, I’m sorry. I had something on my mind.” You say looking down. You’ve never been one with getting yelled at.

“Well get your head out of your ass and pay attention and if your not going to the doors right there.”

“I’ll pay attention.” You said as you looked down, trying to stop the tears that threatened to spill. Your nails dig into your clothes thighs as you only listen to Shigaraki. You wanted to but all you could hear was sweet voice that you wished was there instead of the one now.

~~~

Day 5

You looked terrible to say the least. You couldn’t believe that is was growing this fast! I mean when you looked into it it said 2-3 months but you didn’t think it would grow so unreasonable fast!

Thinking about it and pushing your panic aside you’ve come to the conclusion that its going faster because of how deep your love and loyalty is for him. It’s so deep rooted that the flowers are growing faster.

Especially the one growing on your neck.

You’ve looked into what each flower means and the first one which was a daisy meant innocence, purity and loyal love. This time however, it was a rose. You looked it up and saw that it meant girlhood, modesty and secrecy. You knew why this one had popped up. Probably cause of the fact that you’ve been hiding in your room a lot lately. You didn’t want anyone to catch you hacking up flowers. It was already painful as it is so you don’t need any judgement stares.

That didn’t mean your coughing didn’t go unnoticed though. Your coughs were loud enough that Toga and Spinner came to ask if you were okay a couple times. You told them you were and that you were just sick and that you would get better soon.

‘If by better then you mean dead.’

You shook your head before putting your head into your pillow. Effectively screaming into it out of frustration. How in the ever loving hell where you going to get rid of this damn thing if you couldn’t keep him out of your mind?

~~~

Day 14

You felt like shit. Your entire being just felt weak in general. There were bags under your eyes and more little flowers covering your face. If it were glued on and not attached to your skin, you would have thought it as cute. Now? You hated them, you hated yourself. What would your parents think? Seeing you dying over a man that doesn’t love you back. unknowingly killing you from afar.

A knock came at your door and before thinking you said come in. Your eyes went wide and before you could change your mind Dabi walked in and locked the door behind him.

“How long did you think you could hide huh?” Dabi said as he sat on the bed next to you. He may not have shown it but he was worried. He had known your little thing for Shigaraki but he didn’t know it would be this bad.

“I don’t know. How can I get rid of it when I can’t even look Shigaraki in the face. He would think I’m weak.” You said before coughing up another flower. This time blood was seen covering some of the petals.

“Shit this is worse then I originally thought. It’s at stage three already. Yours is progressing insanely fast. What will it take to realize that he doesn’t love you.” You knew Dabi meant good with his words but you couldn’t help but feel a little bit of your love for him chip away.

Which caused a flower to fall off of your face.

“That’s it.” Dabi said as he picked up the flower and held it in his hands. You look at him with your brow raised.

“Stay here. But before I do what im about to do, just know I’m doing this to save your life understand?” You nod worried about what he’s planning. All you can do is sigh and hold your pillow closer to your chest as you waited to see what Dabi had in store.

~~~

Day 16

You laid in you bed watching some netflix when Shigaraki barged into your room with an angry look. Your eyes widen as you clung to the sheets you had wrapped yourself in.

“So I’m hearing that you love me.” He made it sound like a statement rather then a question. You look all over in the room to avoid his gaze. You shut your eyes only to have your head jerked towards shigaraki, making you look into his crimson eyes.

“Well news flash, I don’t feel the same way.” You swore you could have felt your heart drop in his stomach. Tears rimmed your eyes as Shigaraki looked all around your face noticing all your flowers. Looking into your eyes noticing how they were slowly turning white, making him let out a little chuckle.

“Your pathetic, you let something like love get in the way of my goal? Your so selfish you know?” Your tears were falling at this point. Blurring your vision while you felt a strong pain on your cheek. Shigaraki had ripped off a flower. A pink rose that bloomed on your right cheek.

“I find this hilarious honestly, look at you, needing my validation. When guess what bitch? Your not getting any. And you never will so you might as well tear off all these flowers off your disgusting face.” You couldn’t say anything before pain filled your entire being as Shigaraki picked off every flower that covered your face and neck, leaving you bleeding.

You feel a light feeling in your chest as you felt like you could breathe again. the flowers that bloomed on your shoulder were slowly withering away. The feeling off something in your throat went away as well as all the flowers that bloomed on your body that was still left had withered and fell off. Your once blurred vision now crystal clear as you looked Shigaraki right in the eyes.

“Look better. Now if i ever see another flower on your face or in your room I’ll dust you myself understand?” You nod your head yes before Shigaraki let go of your face.

You hid yourself under the covers in order to avoid his gaze. Not seeing the little face of sadness that crossed his face.

~~~

“Did you do it?” Dabi asked Shigaraki when he saw him leave your room.

“No shit sherlock.” Shigaraki said as he walked past him only to be stopped by Dabi’s arm.

“It was for the best. She would have died if you didn’t.” Dabi spoke softly before taking his arms away, Not looking Shigaraki in the eyes.

“I know.”

Shigaraki walked away before going to his room. Once he stepped in he closed the door behind him before falling to the floor. He threaded his hands in his hair before pulling out all the flowers he had taken from your face. Each one of them a different color. A cold feeling entered his heart, knowing that you were suffering because of him.

He had to remain strong. He couldn’t have love be in the way. At least that’s when he told himself at first.

Ever since you showed up at the bar that faithful day, he knew he had to have you. He knew that he needed you. Why else would his heart beat so fast when you walked past. He always imagined you by his side, sitting on his throne with him. his queen of the villains.

If only he had confessed sooner. If he had he would not have to see you dying in your room because of it. Watching your life slowly slip from your eyes as the days passed by. You were hurting because of his stupid mistake.

And now he had to suffer the consequences.

He held your flowers close to his face. They smelled of you. Reminding him of the deed he had just done. Tears hit the petals of the flowers, effectively collecting shigaraki’s tears. It hurt. Why did it have to hurt so bad.

A blue poppy was slowly growing on Shigaraki’s neck.

#tomura shigaraki #tomura shigaraki x reader #tenko shimura #mha #bnha #shigaraki x y/n #mha shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #Shigaraki #mha tomura #tomura shiragaki #TOMURA #mha angst #bnha angst #tomura shigarkai #tomura shigaraki angst

342 notes · View notes