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incorrectbatfam · 4 months

Note

Bet Poison Ivy's plant tutorials don't work very well for people without plant powers. This is why Pamela Isley doesn't like being reminded of her OLD tutorials. She had issues.

Ivy, in a video: First, give it a gentle spritz of water.

Blaise: *sprays the plant*

Ivy: Then wave your hands and ask it to grow.

Blaise: Oh come on!

#see previous posts #pamela isley #poison ivy #blaise ashwin #original character #gotham gooners #gotham city sirens #gotham rogues #batfamily #batfam #batman #batman family #incorrect quotes #incorrect dc quotes #dc villains #dc comics #headcanon #crack

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rookieforlife · 2 years

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This is literally me when people ask me what the next Gotham FC game I'm going to is. I did buy tickets in hope of getting my Press USWNT kit signed, but it ok. As long as she's getting better, it's all that matters. Besides I love my dumb Gotham FC, we might suck atm but oh well.

https://www.tiktok.com/@weareangelcity/video/7128124506618613034?_t=8UZ4vsmyGx0&_r=1

Haha. She's working on it 💘 and it seems like it's going well, let's hope she recovers well. Hope you have the chance to catch one of her games next year! 🙏🏽 and enjoy your team, it doesn't matter if they're doing well or not, your support it's not going to change. You and me... we are gooners so we know pain lol.

#speedkills

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incorrectbatfam · 1 month

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Criminal intern makes it sound like criminal is a licensed profession in Gotham.

"yes officer, here is my criminal licence, you can arrest me now"

Actually it absolves them of blame because it's like "don't like it? take it up with the manager"

#original character #gotham gooners #gooners #booker smartt #batman #batfamily #batfam #batman family #dc comics #headcanon #character information

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incorrectbatfam · 1 month

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The Jason goon that dated Dick knows the Gooners. Bet.

I can't believe you guys still remember them

It was Milo's estranged half-brother Royce, who originally started out working for a smaller gang out of misplaced anger at Milo for supposedly breaking their family, but that gang was quickly absorbed by Red Hood's operations (he's 22 btw so the relationship is okay)

#dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #original character #gotham gooners #milo carr #royce carr #dc comics #headcanon #see previous posts

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incorrectbatfam · 4 months

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Would the batfam just arrest the gooners right away?

The bats are trained for things like armed gunman, toxic chemicals, mutant creatures, alien invasions, advanced tech, mind games, and deadly superpowers

What they are not prepared for is twelve dozen lobsters released by a teenager in a Chewbacca mask

#see previous posts #gotham gooners #original character #batman #batfamily #batfam #batboys #batbros #batgirls #batkids #batsiblings #batman family #gotham rogues #dc villains #dc comics #headcanon

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incorrectbatfam · 4 months

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Have the Gooners had any direct or indirect encounters with any supervillains?

Interviewer: Tell me why you want to intern at LexCorp.

Booker: LexCorp? The ad said something else.

Interviewer: LexCorp is our parent company.

Booker: I see.

[later that day]

Booker: *finds an ad for criminals wanting an intern*

Booker: Well, it's either this or LexCorp.

Booker: *applies*

———————

Riddler: Behold, my ultimate puzzle!

Riddler: *clicks a remote*

Riddler: Why isn't the screen working?

Henchman: It's the new software update. I'm calling tech support.

Henchman: *calls*

Mac, on the other end: Best Buy Geek Squad, how may I assist you?

———————

[a year ago]

Gene's coworker: Hey Gene, can you do me a favor?

Gene: I would, but I'm totally swamped with this one guy's tax returns.

Gene's coworker: Which one?

Gene: Someone named Harvey Dent. There are so many discrepancies, it's like he's living two lives.

———————

Milo: *driving*

Milo: *sees a pedestrian*

Milo: *slams the brakes and honks*

Harley: Hey, I'm walkin' here!

———————

Otto: Morning, Basil. The usual wash?

Clayface: *nods*

Otto: Sounds good. I'll get your car clay-free in half an hour.

———————

[two years ago]

Cobblepot: Bartender, another drink!

Molly: Sir, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to cut you off.

Cobblepot: Who owns this lounge? Who's paying your salary?

Molly: Fine, what'll it be?

Cobblepot: Our finest red wine, of course.

Molly: Good choice.

Molly: *slips a sedative when he's not looking*

Molly: Here you go. Have a good night.

Cobblepot: What?

Molly: Nothing.

———————

[three years ago]

Talia: For this drill, I want to focus on distance. Team A, take the turrets. Team B, you're on the ground with arrows.

Kellin: *grabs a bow*

Talia: And... fire!

Kellin: *fires an arrow*

*arrow hits an oil lamp*

*lamp falls next to Ra's*

*cape catches fire*

———————

Blaise: *googles how to make his weed plants grow faster*

Blaise: *clicks on a video*

The video: Good afternoon, gardeners and plant lovers. I'm Dr. Pamela Isley and today I'll be showing you how to...

———————

[three years ago]

Scarecrow's assistant: Sir, one of your employees wants to see you.

Scarecrow: Send him in.

Rob: Dr. Crane, I'm Rob Steeler. I'm one of the people who intercepted that shipment containing the last ingredient you need for your new fear gas.

Scarecrow: And what do you need?

Rob: Can these other guys step out of the room? It's kind of personal.

Scarecrow: *waves them out*

Rob: *points a gun at Scarecrow*

Scarecrow: Somebody's feeling fearless.

Rob: Your new formula cost me the love of my life. I can see you reaching under your desk for some fear gas and I'm telling you right now, it won't work because the thing I'm most afraid of already came true.

Scarecrow: So you seek revenge.

Rob: Tempting, but no. I want an out—from you, your organization, and your operations. I don't want you or any of your big-shot Rogue connections to come anywhere near me or my family.

Scarecrow: And if I refuse?

Rob: *shoots the wall behind Scarecrow*

Scarecrow: Very well, have it your way. Best of luck finding any semblance of success. You and I both know you will live and die a common thief.

Rob: We'll revisit that when we meet in hell.

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incorrectbatfam · 1 month

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Petition to get Sue D. Nym associated with the Gooners

Request granted

Susan Dolores Nym (née Lawson) is a corporate lawyer, hobbyist costume designer, and Gene's ex-wife who is now married to a man named Anton Nym and lives in the affluent downtown Gotham. She has full custody of her and Gene's 8-year-old daughter, Kitty. She actually abhors Gene's activities and only keeps in contact with him for the sake of their daughter because for all his misgivings, he is still a loving father. It takes a lot to convince her to aid the Gooners with her ability to create disguises, and even then she does the bare minimum to get them off her back because she doesn't wanna jeopardize the picture-perfect mother/lawyer image she cultivated for herself

#original character #gotham gooners #gooners #gene poule #kitty poule #sue d nym #anton nym #batman #batfamily #batfam #batman family #dc villains #dc comics #headcanon #character idea #character information

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incorrectbatfam · 1 month

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What the hell did Otto experience in the army?

His bi-curious awakening in the summer of '69

#original character #gotham gooners #gooners #otto von hammerstein #batman #batfamily #batfam #batman family #dc villains #dc comics #headcanon #character information #tw swearing

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incorrectbatfam · 4 months

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You named them

Booker Smartt

And

Gene poule?

I'm a genius, aren't I?

#see previous posts #booker smartt #gene poule #gotham gooners #goofy gooners #original character #gotham rogues #dc villains #batfamily #batfam #batman family #batman #dc comics #personal

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incorrectbatfam · 4 months

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Unless they were voted into the top ten most attractive men, of course

Kellin: He is a five out of ten at best.

Milo: Because you're such a looker.

Kellin: Keep up that attitude and I will stop sharpening the batarangs you find.

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incorrectbatfam · 2 months

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Gooner's plans for valentine's day?

Rob hates Valentine's Day to the point where he scratches it out on his calendar. Still, his kids will make cards at school and they'd watch his late wife's favorite movies together while he has a picture of her on the end table

Blaise and Molly have a will-they-won't-they kind of dynamic and they're not sure what to make of Valentine's—whether they should act like just friends or something else. They wind up hanging out the singles in their separate friend groups but are constantly checking their phones and texting each other

Otto, being 70, is a little old-fashioned. He surprises his wife with flowers and breakfast in bed, then after work they dress up and go to the same restaurant they've been going to for years and have a nice dinner followed by a long drive

Milo has had his eye on an exchange student at school and right now he's just trying to get closer, which is a little challenging considering they're on different rungs of the social ladder. He plans on approaching her at school with a note he spent all night agonizing over

Mac and his long-term girlfriend are homebodies whose idea of a date night is ordering pizza and playing World of Warcraft in their pajamas

Gene still has lingering feelings for his ex-wife but he's been making an effort to move on, so this Valentine's Day he matched with someone online and is going on his first date in a long time at a local café

Kellin is familiar with the concept of Valentine's Day but it was never celebrated in his childhood and they don't see any reason to start now. So instead, they meet Booker at a favorite ramen place because Booker needed help with homework (which is odd, since he's normally the one helping others)

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incorrectbatfam · 29 days

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Good on Blaise for whistleblowing. Instead of dressing as a firework and hanging out with kiteman.

Sometimes he wishes he went the classic Rogues route because at least that would garner notoriety and maybe Batman would've offered a hand. Instead, he got evicted since no job = no rent and splits his time between living out of Milo's car in Rob's parking lot or couch-surfing at the friends who are able to have him

#see previous posts #bruce wayne #batman #original character #gotham gooners #gooners #blaise ashwin #milo carr #rob steeler #batfamily #batfam #batman family #gotham rogues #dc villains #dc comics #character information

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incorrectbatfam · 1 month

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What company did Blaise work for that ignored safety? Because it would be hilarious if it was a hand railing manufacturer.

He worked for a company that did concert pyrotechnics. His boss was always cutting corners and ignored multiple warnings for safety, but Blaise put up with it because he liked pyrotechnics and enjoyed the people he worked with, including his childhood best friend Charlie Burns. It all changed at a concert when a faulty piece of fireworks equipment resulted in Charlie getting permanently injured. Blaise ghosted his job for a couple weeks as he grappled with self-blame as he felt he should've taken more of a stand against their boss, and after getting officially fired for abandonment, he turned his anger outward. What officially set him on his criminal course was a month of stalking his former boss, gathering incriminating evidence, leaking everything to the Gotham Gazette as an anonymous whistleblower, and burning the boss's office to the ground as a final act of revenge

#original character #gotham gooners #gooners #blaise ashwin #charlie burns #batman #batfamily #batfam #batman family #dc comics #character backstory #character information #tw angst #tw injury #tw fire

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incorrectbatfam · 4 months

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Okay, so I want a little angst fic where Robs twins and Milo get kidnapped, and the kidnapper is doing the whole cliche thing with ‘cHoOsE oNe, will your twins or Milo live??’ and, Rob thinks, it should be obvious, right? Pick ur twins! But, it’s a difficult decision, he can’t let any of them die, and he’s stressing Tf out. Like, Milo is fourteen! And the twins love him! (Kinds? He bullies them sometimes but it’s fineee)

At the end, the bats come and save them, but it’s still an eye opening experience.

The Gooners Christmas kidnapping fic that exactly one (1) person asked for

Word count: 3,375

———————

“What’s the password?”

Milo chuckled. “Jackie, you’re only supposed to do that when you get picked up from school.”

“Dad said to always ask before getting in the car with anyone,” the six-year-old replied.

“But you know me.”

“What if you’re a shapeshifting alien trying to abduct us? Or an evil robot clone?”

He sighed. “Unicorn ice cream. Now are we going Christmas shopping or not?”

“Sure,” she said, “when Gunner quits being a slowpoke.”

As if on cue, the other boy stumbled out of the three’s shared bedroom, tugging his blue snow boots on. Since he didn’t know how to tie the laces yet, Milo kneeled down and helped him.

“Now remember, the mall’s gonna be really busy, so what do we do if we get separated?”

“Meet at the food court,” they say in unison.

“And what do we not do?”

“Go to a security guard.”

“And why don’t we do that?”

“Because they don’t work for people like us.”

“Good job.” He patted the pom-poms topping their matching hats.

Once Milo buckled the twins in and put his favorite rock album on, they set off. There was a light dusting of snow on top of the salt laid down earlier that morning, but the fifteen-year-old managed to weave through the holiday traffic and beat the lights in time to snag the last parking spot at Gotham City’s shopping hotspot.

“Any idea what you’re gonna get your dad?” he asked as they walked into the bustling shopping mall.

“How about a watch?” said Jackie. “I saw a really cool gold one last week.”

“Hm… maybe,” he said. “Gunner, what about you? Any thoughts?”

Gunner stifled a laugh. “Pants.”

Milo rolled his eyes playfully. The kid was in that phase where pants were the funniest thing in the world. But in the nine months since he started living with the Steelers, Milo hadn’t seen Rob get anything—buying or stealing—for himself. It was always for the kids or to sell on the internet. And, frankly, the man looked like he spent a year on a deserted island.

“We’ll start with pants,” he said.

“What about you?” Jackie asked. “What are you gonna get him?”

“I’m not sure.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “Probably something as a thanks for, you know, not leaving me to the wolves.”

“Like what?”

Gunner said, “How about a World’s Best Dad mug?”

“That might work for you, but he’s not my dad,” said Milo. He shrugged. “Eh, I’ll figure it out.”

They perused a few clothing stores, the twins pointing out pieces of clothing their dad might like. Milo kept a mental inventory as he fiddled with the magnet in his coat pocket. He also made notes about where the cameras and security guards were placed.

After about an hour, the kids were whining about being hungry (breakfast wasn’t exactly filling—they shared an egg and a slice of toast between them). Milo took them to the food court and used some cash he pickpocketed the other day to buy them both kids’ meals from the Batburger pop-up stall.

Once they sat down, he said, “I’m gonna go get the gifts for your dad. Do you guys have your phone?”

Jackie and Gunner nodded and pulled out matching rose gold and black smartphones, respectively, that totally weren’t stolen and jailbroken.

“Good. Stay here and don’t move. I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes. Call me if you need anything.”

Milo still had a thing or two to learn before he could begin swiping electronics and jewelry, but shoplifting clothing was easy. He grabbed a shopping bag from behind an unoccupied register and wove through the aisles for the list of things from earlier. He took them to the dressing room and removed the security tags with his trusty magnet before putting the clothes in the bag. Then, for good measure, he stuck them back onto random clothes throughout the store before walking out while using his phone like any other teenager.

When he didn’t see the twins at the food court, there was a small spark of panic. He called Jackie and it rang three times before she answered.

“We’re in the bathroom,” she said.

He should’ve noticed the quiver in her voice. When he stepped into the all-gender restroom, he was met by the kids pressed against the wall with a haggard middle-aged man towering over them.

Gunner cried out, “Milo!”

As the door fell shut, the stranger whirled around, pointing a sawed-off shotgun at Milo. “You with them?”

Stunned, Milo nodded numbly. He wasn’t sure if that was the right move or not.

The man’s hands trembled. “Do as I say or I shoot.”

Milo reached for his batarang—the one he found on the street—inside his jacket, but before he could grab it, the man walked around him and prodded Milo in the back with the barrel.

“I know you heard me. Now all three of you move it.”

The bathroom was five steps from the exit, so there wasn’t any chance to make a getaway without putting Jackie and Gunner at risk. They were ushered roughly into a white van with the peeling logo of an electric company. A second person was in the driver’s seat so the guy with the gun got into the seatless back with them. He slammed the door shut. Milo motioned for the twins to get behind him.

The driver turned the radio up as they made their way onto the road.

Smart. Milo thought. Mask any calls for help. This obviously wasn’t the kidnappers’ first rodeo.

But neither was it Milo’s. Being a runaway street kid, he had his fair share of close calls with bastard adults who tried to manipulate him because of his age. While he couldn’t call himself an expert, he had a general gist of how these situations went.

Traveling at sixty miles per hour in a windowless van with no clue where they were headed, Milo didn’t have an upper hand. He needed information. Something was better than nothing.

He studied the man with them, who had tucked the gun away. Even in the dark, he could see the man wasn’t doing well for himself. The worn-out clothes plus the crudeness of his weapon ruled out the mafia. What would Falcone or Maroni want with some random kids from Burnside, anyway? Milo could also rule out some of the major Rogues—Riddler, Two-Face, and Mr. Freeze all had standards.

The man’s graying blonde hair and beard were both overgrown. His face was hollow and his breath smelled like spoiled leftovers. Clearly, he hadn’t taken care of himself in a long time. Mental break? But unless it was a case of folie a deux, there’s no way he could’ve gotten a second person to be his getaway driver. More likely than not, he was on his last legs and holding people for ransom was his Hail Mary.

Milo also tried to analyze the man’s body language, but the low light and the moving van made it difficult. Kellin would’ve probably deduced everything with their assassin training by now.

He glanced over his shoulder at Jackie and Gunner. Gunner always had more braggadocio, but underneath he got more scared easily, and Milo saw it in the way the kid clung to his sister’s arm with tears running down his cherubic face. Jackie appeared calmer, but her big brown eyes looked up at Milo, silently begging him to do something.

Milo took a deep breath and turned to their kidnapper. “You mind telling me what you want with us?”

“We don’t want anything from you,” the man replied.

“Then what? You gonna sell us? Because we’re pretty unmarketable.”

“No,” he said. “This isn’t about you. It’s about your father.”

“Axel Carr? Good luck with that. I’m as dead to him as he is to me.”

The man pointed to the twins. “I meant theirs.”

“How do you know their dad?” Milo asked slowly, careful not to let a name slip in case the man was bluffing.

“I worked with Rob Steeler under Scarecrow. When he left, instead of getting promoted, they let our entire crew go since we lost our key player.”

The man was clearly getting started and Milo hoped he’d keep going until the boy could formulate a plan.

“My whole life torpedoed after that. No gigs meant no income. No income plus a disabled kid meant I had to give up custody.”

While unfortunate, Milo was more focused on the clock and speedometer up front. Eight minutes had passed since they started driving and the speed had stayed consistent. The hum underneath the wheels told him they were still on the highway.

“Without that money, I can’t get my kid back. So here’s what’s gonna happen.”

They came to a stop and there was the sound of a garage door opening and closing. Gun back in hand, the man prodded them out.

“I’m gonna make Steeler pay,” he said. “He gives me cash for his little tikes. Otherwise, if I can’t have my family, then neither can he.” He turned to Milo and cocked the gun. “As for you, I’m afraid I can’t have any witnesses.”

“Wait!” Milo exclaimed before the man put his finger on the trigger. “Don’t you think killing me right away will cause a huge scene? You’ll end up with cops at the doorstep before you can even ask for the money.”

The driver muttered something to the gunman.

“True,” the gunman said.

The driver whispered something else. The gunman’s face lit up and he nodded.

“Better idea,” he said. “I was going for around thirty grand. That’s ten grand for each of you. For each one he can bring me, I’ll let you go home.”

Jackie piped up. “What if he can’t?”

The man smiled. “For your sake, little girl, you better hope he does.”

The gunman forced the three to surrender their phones while the driver bound them with rope to a water pipe against the wall. The windowless garage offered no clues to the outside, but the fishy smell in the air meant they were close to the harbor. It hadn’t been used in a long time because every step someone took left a footprint in the dust. Off to one side, underneath a mountain of scrap wood and netting, was a speedboat with a gaping hole in the hull. On the other side was a small, messy work table where the driver and gunman were making the ransom call.

“Milo, what do we do?” Gunner whispered.

“Just stay here and don’t move unless I tell you to,” he replied. “I’m gonna get us out of this.”

“What if you get hurt?” Jackie asked.

He smiled. “Remember when I did a cartwheel with a twisted ankle? A little hurt doesn’t bother me.”

His arms were pinned to his side, but he managed to maneuver them enough to grab his magnet and batarang. Normally he would have had a trunk full of inventory to work with but this was going to have to do.

While the kidnappers were on the call, he sliced himself out of the ropes with the batarang. He also loosened Jackie and Gunner’s restraints to prepare for a quick escape.

The only exit was the garage door, controlled by a red button on the wall. If he was one of the bat-people, he could easily throw the batarang and hit the tiny target far away, but as just Milo, the risks far outweighed his chance of success. Normally he would have tried anyway, but he had the kids with him.

He gestured to Gunner’s boots. “I need to borrow something real quick.”

The boy nodded. Milo undid the laces, resulting in two long strings in his hands. He tied them together to create a single, even longer cord, which he then put the batarang on one end of.

The kidnappers turned toward them and the gunman shouted, “Hey!”

Milo muttered a prayer to Wonder Woman on the off chance that’s her thing.

He twirled the string and released it. It wrapped around the driver’s knee, causing the man to stumble and fall. His joint cracking echoed through the garage and a red stain grew on his cargo pants.

He reeled it in before throwing it at the gunman’s face. The tip grazed the man’s cheek, drawing a thin trickle of blood, before spinning back around into Milo’s hand. Milo threw a punch, but the man caught it. The gunman twisted before shoving Milo to the ground and pointing the shotgun at him.

“Had fun playing Robin?” the man asked, finger nearing the trigger.

Stall. That was all there was left to do.

“Heroes are overrated. They always have to follow some stupid code,” Milo said, doing all he could to keep his voice steady. “You and I have more in common than you think.”

“Whatever deal you’re trying to cut won’t work,” the gunman replied. “Steeler’s already on his way and he accepted all my terms.”

“What if I tell everyone what you did? Then what?”

The gunman laughed. “Tell who? The same cops you’re always running from? Don’t think I didn’t do my homework on your little posse.”

The driver was pretty much down for the count because he was still on the floor with the pool of blood slowly growing. Plus, he didn’t seem like the fighting type to begin with. Unless there were more kidnappers lurking, Milo just had to make sure the gunman stayed focused on him.

“Your kid. How old are they?” Milo asked.

“He’s ten, and unlike you, he’s actually suffering. He didn’t bring it on himself after a fight with daddy.”

That plucked a nerve. For a disheveled ex-henchman, the man knew a lot.

Milo clenched his jaw. “And what would he say if he knew about this? Even if you get the money, what makes you think he’d want anything to do with you?”

Smack.

Milo fell back as the gun met his temple. His head throbbed and black speckles swam in front of his eyes. His fingers traced over the spot and came back red. Through the dull ringing in his right ear, he heard the twins cry out his name.

He turned back to the gunman, still kneeling. “If you’d do this to us, what’s stopping you from doing it to him?”

This time, a kick to the stomach forced the wind out of him. He doubled over, gasping. He reached for the batarang but the gunman kicked it away.

The man raised his gun for another strike but the garage door interrupted him.

“Step away from the kids.”

The twins exclaimed, “Dad!”

Rob made brief but reassuring eye contact with them before turning to the kidnapper.

“I got as much as I could, Frederickson. Now let go of my kids.”

The kidnapper walked over and snatched the water-stained blue duffel bag out of Rob’s hand. He opened it and counted through the banded bills before turning back to Rob.

“I said thirty grand. This is only twenty-five.”

“That's all I got, I’m telling you! Just take it and let my kids and I go home.”

“We had a deal.”

While the two men went back and forth, Milo crawled over to the batarang. The open garage door meant the bright lights inside flooded the harbor with nothing blocking the way. The bright lightbulbs dangled from the ceiling.

It was sheer luck the batarang flew over the adults’ heads and wrapped around the base of the brightest light bulb before dangling in front of it. It wasn’t very distinct, but his makeshift Bat-Signal would have to do.

The man cocked the gun. “Now you gotta pick. It’s them…” He pointed it at the twins. “Or him.” He pointed at Milo.

What kind of choice is that? Milo thought. Of course pick them.

Rob stood there as if nailed to the spot, fists clenched.

“Fredrickson, think about this,” he said, his normally firm voice edging on pleading. “Is five thousand dollars worth having this on your conscience?”

“You were always the soft one,” the man sneered. “You never let it on around the boss until our last sting.”

“There’s ransom and then there’s this,” Rob said. “Fredrickson. Darren. You’re not okay.”

“Rob,” Milo said.

The men’s heads both swiveled around.

Milo swallowed. “Give him what he wants and he’ll be out of your hair. It’s obvious. Pick the twins.”

Rob sputtered, eyes wide. “I-I…”

“You trust me on the field all the time,” he said. “So do it again.”

“I can’t.”

The gunman said, “So the little ones go.”

“No!” Rob yelled. “I just—I just need…”

“Take. Your. Pick.”

His eyes darted between Milo and the twins. Milo knew his boss was an idiot at times and the proof was right here. The twins were younger. There were two of them as opposed to one of him. They were actually Rob’s.

Before the gunman could repeat himself again, a brand new voice chimed in.

“I’ve seen this trope before. Spoiler alert: the good guys win.”

With a swish of her purple cape, Spoiler released her grapple and knocked the shotgun away. She coiled the rope around the gunman before kneeing him in the ribs. Milo didn’t think much of heroes given how they beat up people like him and Rob, but he couldn’t help but marvel at each fluid strike. As easy as one, two, three, four, and five.

The gunman hit the ground and she clasped a pair of handcuffs on him. Nearby, Orphan collected the driver.

Spoiler crouched beside the twins and freed them. “Are you guys alright?”

They nodded. Gunner said, “Is the supervillain defeated?”

“I’d hardly call him super, but yes,” she said. “He’s not gonna bother you anymore.”

As red and blue lights flooded the room, Milo’s head pulsed even harder like a kick drum at a rock show. Some of the blood from his temple dripped onto the floor. His stomach rolled.

Rob answered some of Spoiler’s questions before she set them loose. Of course cops would be at the scene. Why didn’t Milo think of that?

The twins ran into their dad’s arms and he scooped them up. Milo had never seen his boss so relieved or so scared. He staggered to his feet, one hand in the brick wall for balance. His head spun and a sharp pain was finally sinking in.

Rob put the kids down and turned toward Milo.

“I’m sorry,” Milo said. “It’s my fault we got into this mess and—”

He was cut off by a pair of arms wrapping around him.

“Rob, what—”

“Just shut up and take it.”

The hug ended before Milo could fully register it. After one of the medics patched his wound, all they had left to do was go home and pretend this never happened. Business as usual.

“The car’s still at the mall,” he said.

“I borrowed one from Otto,” Rob replied. “I’ll get ours in the morning.”

Once they were back at the apartment, Rob tucked the twins into bed with an extra-long story. Meanwhile, Milo cleaned himself up in the cubicle-sized bathroom and changed into something more comfortable.

He tried to sleep after that but wound up tossing and turning for hours, replaying the night’s events in his head. What if he hadn’t left the twins alone? What if he’d brought a better weapon? The Steelers were already hanging by a thread and he just cost them twenty-five grand. If one of the others was in his position, they could’ve figured a way out by themselves. Blaise would’ve siphoned the gas from the van and turned it into a flamethrower. Booker and Molly would’ve been better negotiators. Kellin would’ve fought their way through.

The door opened. The thin bar of light cut between his side of the room and the sleeping twins’ bunk bed.

“It’s two o’clock,” Rob said.

Milo propped himself up on his elbow. “And?”

“I could hear you down the hall. You’re gonna wake the twins up at this rate.”

“Not on the clock, not my boss.”

Rob quietly chuckled. “Get some sleep. I’ll be in the living room if you need me.”

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incorrectbatfam · 4 months

Note

Wait Rob ACTIVELY wanted an intern? I thought Booker just showed up one day? Also why do they need an intern?

Actually it went a little something like this:

*phone rings*

Rob: Hello?

Booker: Hi, I'm calling to follow up on my application for the Gooners internship. I hope you received my resumé and cover letter just fine. If you have any other questions for me, please feel free to let me know.

Rob: Internship? What internship?

Booker: The one on Indeed from yesterday.

Rob: Please hold.

Rob, covering the phone: Anyone know anything about an internship?

Blaise, pointing at Molly: It was her idea!

Molly, pointing at Blaise: It was his idea!

Kellin: It was a stupid idea, that's what it is.

Rob: Why would you need an intern?

Blaise: We could all use a hand in our workshops—especially Otto with his bad knee.

Molly: The admin stuff is piling up too. Plus, I see it as a learning opportunity.

Rob: *sighs*

Rob, back on the phone: You're hired.