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keegansversion · 2 months

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reader, who is part of task force 141 is wrongly accused of being a traitor. but for some reason, despite all the torture they endured, they still forgive them.

hi guys :D im still quite new to tumblr and this is my first fic im gonna be starting. i have written before on ao3, wattpad, notes (for practise), a failed unfinished book so hopefully this will go well!

writers block may happen at some point because im kinda planning for it to be a series, if not, just a one-part fic. chances are, i wont have the energy to proof-read so if there are mistakes, please dont mind it :)

i got this idea from @ghostslittlegf . i have reblogged the post that they made that gave me the inspiration. <3

anyways, enough rambling, enjoy! <33

!tw! : t0rture, mentions of g0re, abvse, swearing, foul language, manipulation

part 1

it wasn't you. not your fault.

days pass, and all sense of time was lost for you. you don't know how long you have been bound to this chair for, and the same nauseating scent of old blood and soil was not making it any better.

the task force placed you in a holding cell underground. the entire place was empty; it was just you, and the chilling, hollow echoes of whatever slight movement you bore from the tight knots gnawing at your wrists and ankles. your skin was blistering from the constant friction of the jagged ropes and stinging. fear was eating you alive, consuming more and more of you as each day passed. hell, it felt like an eternity down here.

the task force, the previous week, had encountered a leak in information that meant the entire team was put under danger. they were sure it was someone within the base, as nobody else would just have access to such private information.

one day, you were just in the gym training when a few men took you aside, captain price at their heels. his eyes were dark and you could see levels of anger rising inside him. you were confused, obviously. had you done anything wrong? no, you hadn't. the next thing you knew, you were here. bound and restricted.

but you didn't do anything?

"you will tell us the truth, is that clear?" price spat as he bent down to meet your eye-level. behind him were 3 other people with pistols in their hand, loaded. you couldn't make out their faces as it was dimly lit.

"truth? what do you mean?" you question, utterly confused and a little scared of this situation. your eyes dart around the cell. you've never been down here before, and everything seems so foreign. the walls were slightly cracked, the large bricks uneven in placement. moss grew from the cracks, and the stench of wet soil creeped into your nose. it was cold and damp, and disgusting. these were the holding cells you never wanted to go down into, yet here you were, forced to be in one as a prisoner.

"dont play dumb." price sneered, his face closer to yours. you backed away instinctively, looking away to avoid his gaze.

"i really don't know what you mean..." you reply with some thought whilst slightly shaking your head, trying to make sense of this whole situation. price grabs at the arm-rests of the chair with some force. it startles you but you listen to him carefully.

"we know you betrayed us. that information that got leaked? yeah, well now the entire base is in danger. we're sabotaged, all because one little birdie decided to run their traitor mouths to enemy bases." he says, sing-songingly on the last part.

your eyes widen a little at such an accusation. never would you even think of betraying the task force. they were like family to you, and the accusation sickened you deeply. even the thought was sickening. "what? you're accusing me? but why!? what's your evidence?" you desperately pry for answers. all this was so sudden.

"oh, evidence? there's plenty of evidence, sweetheart." he replies, a sarcastic and irritated chuckle woven into his speech. he stands back up and looks back at the men behind him. he nods and they walk towards you.

"what? price...what are they doing?" you cry, your voice shaking and unstable out of fear. you watch as one walks behind you, the other two standing in front on either side. price walks away, pulling the cell door open and leaving.

"price? price! captain!" you yell, but no-one answers other than your screams that reverberate emptily off the cold, damp stone.

you wake to the sound of your cell door sliding open. it slams forcefully when it reaches the other side, which jolts you back into your senses. you blink away your exhaustion and look up at the dark figure that walks towards you. you try make out their face, and distinguish them as simon.

"simon...is that you?" you weakly mutter. your body was on the edge of breaking from the week-long physical and mental torture you had to endure.

he doesn't say anything and just walks towards you. his demeanor seemed calm and stoic but you knew what was about to happen. you took a deep breath to the best of your ability, your ribs hurting in the process, as you anticipated what he was going to do to you.

"listen, we've been a'this for a week now. you still refuse to tell us the truth. we've been too gentle with you. now, tell us the truth. or else i'll 'ave to resort to more...brutal ways." he stared at you, his gaze of pure rage that he managed to keep controlled.

"i'm innocent...i truly have nothing to say." you mumble, knowing it wasn't going to change anything.

suddenly, you feel the brute force of simon's fist against your cheek. you go limp at the pain of the punch, but you bite back tears.

"tell. me. the. truth." he demands, his voice becoming more stern and loud.

"i really don't have anything...i promise you the evidence against me are forged, and the accusations are false!" you whine, voice breaking.

another punch.

"i forgive you all for this...once you find out i'm truly innocent." you mumble with a sob in your voice, a warm, twitching smile on your face as tears brim in your eyes.

simon's eyes only narrow at you.

"i don't give a shit for whatever trickery you're pulling right now. i want the truth! so spit it out!" he demands again, just below a yell. you look away as you try contain your tears from the pain.

"i wont hesitate you batter you right now. i won't go easy like i did before, just a harsh hit here and there. tell the truth! the truth!" he yells this time, but you stay silent. your lip quivers as you try think of what to say, as you truly had no 'truth' to confess. you're not the traitor, you're innocent.

another hard blow hits your face, then another, and another. the abuse slowly turns into a result of his anger. simon had his denials, but the evidence changed his mind immediately. he was mad, infuriated that you betrayed the entire team, or at least, he thought.

"i'll forgive you, i promise." you choke under your breaking breath, trickles of blood running down from your nose and mouth.

"the truth!" he yells again before delivering another hit.

"i'll forgive you all...no matter what."

#cod #cod fics #i just love angsty guilty fics so much #angst #simon riley #ghost cod #task force 141 #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #captain john price #soap mactavish #cod hcs #reader insert #cod fanfic #betrayal #false accusations #call of duty #i am cringe but i am free

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yournowheregirl · 1 year

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remember when i said this was gonna be 5 parts? psych! it’s gonna be six parts of the secret-dolly-parton-fan eddie munson saga (thanks again for all the love on this fic & a special thanks to @gothbat99 and @legitcookie for listening to my rambling about this part 🥰)

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 5] [part 6 + complete on ao3]

part 4: i will always love you

Eddie never thought himself to be an overthinker.

In fact, during the majority of his life a lot of people assumed he didn't think at all considering the way he flunked senior year twice (He got there in the end, though). But lately - well, actually ever since Pat swore up and down Steve isn’t as straight as Eddie originally thought - Eddie’s brain has been running at a hundred miles an hour.

More specifically, Pat’s words have been echoing through his mind, haunting him, torturing him, every time he hangs out with Steve.

“Hey man, that shirt looks really great on you.” Steve says one day when Eddie shows up at Family Video wearing a red henley. It’s an old shirt he found earlier that week when Wayne forced him to clean out his closet, a little tight but it still fit so Eddie decided to keep it.

“What, this old thing?” Eddie scoffs, playing with the frayed hem of the shirt.

“Yeah, it’s… it suits you. Looks nice.” Steve smiles.

“Thanks.” Eddie replies. His smile is tight, in the hopes that he doesn’t give away the swarm of butterflies currently residing in his stomach.

But are ya sure that boy’s straight?

“Wait, what’s happening again?” Steve asks one night during Will’s latest Hellfire campaign.

It’s the first time in literal years that Eddie’s been playing a character instead of DM’ing and so far, he’s been very impressed with Will replacing him. Though his story lines can be a little too detailed at times, which makes it hard for Steve - who hasn’t been there during every D&D night - to keep up.

So, Eddie explains it to him. He’s patient, keeping his voice low so the others won’t overhear and carefully watches Steve connect the dots. Watches how that cute little frown in between his eyebrows slowly fades away and is replaced with a soft smile.

“Which brings us here, to the Rotting Grove and now we gotta wait until Dustin’s character makes a decision.” Eddie says finally, but Steve stays quiet. He’s still looking at Eddie, eyes wide with wonder, maybe he still doesn’t understand the plot just yet. “Sorry, did I go too fast? You want me to start again?”

“No, no, I got it.” Steve shakes his head, smiling. “Thanks for explaining it, though. You’re a great story teller, Eddie.” He says, bumping their shoulders together but never pulling away.

Steve stays glued to Eddie’s side throughout the rest of the night, whispering the occasional question or snarky comment in his ear, sending a chill down Eddie’s spine every time he feels Steve’s lips brush against his skin.

But are ya sure that boy’s straight?

“You really gotta be more careful.” Steve says sternly one afternoon, after Eddie has fallen face-first onto the ground during one of Max’ skateboarding lessons, leaving him with a nasty graze on his cheek.

“I was being- fucking Christ, Steve.” Eddie hisses as Steve dabs a washcloth against Eddie’s bloodied cheek. “Will you stop that? That hurts like hell.”

Steve ignores his protests, rolling his eyes. “An infection hurts even more, so just stay still, will you?”

His hand, big and warm, finds Eddie’s hip, holding him still against the bathroom counter, as Eddie tries to think of literally anything that’ll stop his blood from going south because this not the place or time to pop a boner right now. Which somehow results in him being particularly mopey to Steve.

“I can take care of myself y’know? Been doin’ it all my life.” He grunts when Steve slowly removes the washcloth.

“I know you can.” Steve replies softly. “But sometimes it’s nice to have someone taking care of you for a change.”

He runs his thumb over Eddie’s cheek, wiping away the last of the blood before placing his his hand on Eddie’s jaw, turning his face to see if there are any wounds to be taken care of. When Steve nods, obviously proud of his work, Eddie almost wants to go out there and trip another time, just to feel Steve’s hands on his skin again.

“Besides, you need someone around here who actually knows first aid. God forbid something happens to that pretty face of yours.” Steve smirks, before patting Eddie’s chest and walking out of the bathroom, leaving Eddie speechless for the first time in his life.

But are ya sure that boy’s straight?

Pat’s words keep getting louder and louder in his mind to the point that it’s the only thing Eddie can think about. He overanalyzes every single one of Steve’s movements, every word that rolls off his tongue, every glance sent his way, to the point that he swears he’s going insane.

Because the more he starts thinking about it, the more Pat might actually be right and isn’t that the most terrifying thing in the wold?

-xxx-

“Dude, will you stop that?”

Eddie looks up from where he was mindlessly staring out the window and glares at Dustin, who glares right back at him. “What?”

“Your leg.” Dustin pokes him in said leg, the one that’s been bouncing uncontrollably for the past few minutes. “It’s fucking annoying.”

Dustin’s been at the Munson trailer since early afternoon, figuring out the perfect songs to put on the mixtape he’s mailing Suzie for their anniversary. Eddie had felt honored that Dustin came to him, rather than the so-called leading expert on romance (Steve) but now his patience is wearing thin.

Don’t get him wrong, he loves the squirt with all his heart, but Dustin’s been contemplating between two very similar songs for thirty minutes now and his indecisiveness is starting to get on Eddie’s nerves.

“Maybe if you hurried the fuck up, my leg wouldn’t be shakin’ Henderson.” Eddie retorts. “C’mon, hurry up, will ya? I got places to go, people to meet.”

Dustin snorts. “Really?”

“Yeah, really.”

“You know, going out to the woods to deal doesn’t exactly count as Friday evening plans.” Dustin says.

“Hey!” Eddie protests. “You know I don’t do that shit anymore, not with those shady government assholes watching my every move.” He sighs, fiddling with the rings on his fingers. “But if you must know, me and Steve are having a movie night at his place and you know how huffy he gets when I’m late.”

That’s not entirely true. Sure, Eddie’s going over to the Harrington house tonight and sure they’re gonna watch a movie, but it’s also the night that Eddie decided to finally make a move on Steve. And maybe, if everything goes right, tonight will be the night that he finds the guts to Steve how he feels.

Which is why Dustin needs to get a move on because he really needs those extra few hours to contemplate his existence, have a panic attack, talk himself down from said panic attack and figure out what he’s going to wear.

“Okay, now I know you’re lying.” Dustin says, looking anything but impressed with Eddie.

“What? I ain’t lying, Henderson.” Eddie frowns. He grabs the VHS tape from the coffee table and waves it in Dustin’s face. “See, I got the movie and everything.”

“Yeah, well, you must have gotten the days mixed up.” Dustin shrugs. “Steve’s got a date tonight.”

“Yeah, right.” Eddie says, rolling his eyes at Dustin and ignoring the way his heart is starting to beat a little faster out of sheer panic. “Steve hasn’t been on a date since he broke up with Emily. And even if he has a date, I doubt he would’ve planned it at the same time as our movie night.”

“Well sorry to burst your bubble, but I know for a fact that Steve’s got a date tonight because he told me.” Dustin’s tone is bordering on condescending but Eddie doesn’t even have energy to tell him off right now because what the fuck? What does Dustin mean by that? And maybe more importantly, why did Steve leave Eddie in the dark about all this?

A heavy feeling settles down in his stomach, but he can’t let Dustin see his inner turmoil so he goes with indifference instead. “Pff, sure he did.”

“I saw him buy roses, Eddie! They were red too and that’s like, a dead giveaway for romance!” Dustin declares. “And when I talked to him about it he got this… weird, mushy look in his eye, which by the way gross, and said something about making tonight special and shit. Which again, gross, but if that doesn’t scream romantic evening to me, then I don’t know what is!”

Slowly, as Dustin’s words are starting to sink in, the heavy feeling grows stronger and stronger until Eddie feels his stomach drop.

Steve’s going on a date.

Steve’s going on a date and just ditches Eddie without saying a word.

Steve’s going on a date with someone who isn’t Eddie.

Steve’s going on a date which means Pat was wrong.

“Get out.” Eddie says, voice on edge.

“Geez, didn’t know you’d get so upset. It’s just a cancelled movie night, I’m sure Steve-”

“Out!” Eddie exclaims, his tone way harsher than it needs to be. It obviously affects Dustin, who flinches at his words, but Eddie doesn’t care. Well, he does but he’ll apologize to Dustin later, once he starts to feel normal about all of this.

Dustin quietly packs his stuff, mumbling something under his breath as Eddie just stands there, frozen. Eyes glued to the coffee stain on the carpet, mind reeling with thoughts of Steve ditching him for some date he didn’t even tell him about.

He hears Dustin say a quiet goodbye but he stays there for a good few minutes before he finally snaps out of his trance and grabs the keys to the van from the kitchen counter. He doesn’t even see the dark clouds forming in the sky, he just gets in the van and drives.

-xxx-

Rain is still pouring down when Eddie arrives at the Off-Road. Not that he really cares about the weather right now, he’s got other things on his mind. He pulls his leather jacket over his head and jogs over to the entrance, only to find the door closed and the lights off.

Great. Like his day couldn’t get any worse.

Eddie slumps down on the porch in front of the bar, not caring that he’s sitting on wet wood or that the wind is blowing the raindrops right in his face. The rain is actually pretty nice right now, hiding the tears that are slowly rolling down his cheek.

Crying over Steve motherfuckin’ Harrington. That’s a new low, even for him.

And the thing is, any other time Eddie could’ve dealt with Steve getting another date. Yeah, it’d probably hurt like a bitch and Eddie would’ve been sulking for a day or two, but he would’ve been fine. It would’ve been just another Emily situation, just another reminder that Steve would never been his.

But Steve keeping him in the dark about his date, Steve just flat-out cancelling their movie night without even telling him, after weeks of, let’s be honest, low-key flirting? That somehow hurts even more. It just feels like Steve doesn’t really care about him, like Steve’s using him like a fucking Kleenex - use once, then throw away when it’s no longer useful.

The thoughts in his head are so loud, so overwhelming, that he doesn’t even hear a pick-up truck stopping a few steps from him. Doesn’t hear the hushed voices or the wet sounds of footsteps through the mud.

“Ed? Whatcha doin’ here kid?”

Eddie looks up from where he had been staring at his feet, only to find Pat and Tish standing in front of him, huddled together underneath an umbrella. The worried looks on both their faces makes Eddie just cry even harder.

“Oh honey.” Tish says softly. “Let’s get you inside, okay?”

Pat and Tish lead him inside and up the stairs that lead to the apartment above the bar. It’s small, but cozy and feels like a home, with little trinkets and old photos scattered just about everywhere. Pat firmly plants Eddie down at the kitchen table and hands him a couple of towels as his tears slowly start to fade. He hadn’t even realized how cold he was until Pat throws a woolen blanket over his shoulders and Tish puts down a pot of hot chamomile tea.

“So…” Pat says as she sits down across from him at the kitchen table. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Eddie sniffs, wiping his nose with the back of his hand. “It’s stupid.”

“We’ll be the judge of that.” Pat says sternly, though her eyes are soft. “Now tell us what happened.”

And Eddie just spills everything. How Pat’s advice has been haunting him, how he’s been overanalyzing every of Steve’s moves, how he was so sure that Steve liked him back, only to be tossed aside without a care. He tears up again a few times and it’s so embarrassing he wants to be buried alive, even with Pat and Tish just listening and telling him it’s okay.

Once he’s done, he just feels empty - no more tears to cry, no more words to say, just an empty, hollow feeling where his heart used to be.

“Eddie, I’m so sorry, honey.” Tish sighs as she pours him another cup of tea. He’s not usually a tea drinker but he’s had two cups already - he swears Tish put some kind of crack in it, rather than sugar cubes. “For what it’s worth, he doesn’t deserve you. Not if he treats like you like, pardon my French, dogshit.”

Hearing Tish swear, while she’s generally so prim and proper, makes Eddie laugh, even through his dried-up tears. “Thanks, Tish.” He sighs, slouches down in his chair and looks up at the wooden ceiling. “But I guess this was good, in some twisted, fucked up way. Just the slap in the face I needed.”

“What’d you mean?” Pat frowns.

“It’s just… I been running after him like some lovesick puppy even though I know he’ll never feel the same.” Eddie says. “And it’s not doing me any good, now is it? Guess this is a sign that it’s time for me to move on.”

He knows he said that before, back when Steve started dating Emily, and even though it clearly didn’t work out the way he wanted to, Eddie has to make it work now. He has to say goodbye to Steve because he’s not so sure his poor heart’ll survive if he doesn’t.

And he knows exactly how he’s going to do just that.

Eddie jumps up from the table and races downstairs, ignoring Pat and Tish’s confused noises as they follow him. He fumbles with the lights for a moment but as soon as the lights are partially on, Eddie walks up to the podium, grabs the guitar off the wall and sits down on the stool that has become so familiar to him.

The bar is silent because of course it is and for a second Eddie just wants to laugh at how weird this whole situation - singing in a bar just to process his dumb feelings, even with no audience around (well, there’s an audience if you count Pat, Tish and the wind howling outside). But he has to do this, needs to do this, audience be damned.

His hands are shaking, hesitating to play the first few chords. It’s not like he doesn’t know the song, in fact he knows it by heart and played it plenty of times, But he never actually sang the words, too scared what’ll mean if he’ll say them out loud.

“If I, should stay… I would only be in your way. So, I’ll go but I’ll know, I’ll think of you each step of the way.” Eddie sing softly, voice already wavering because he was right for not singing this song before - it fucking hurts. “And I… will always love you.”

Eddie’s voice echoes through the empty bar, causing to sound more hollow than it already is. A shiver runs up his spine when he feels a cool breeze of wind - the wind must’ve flung the door open. Eddie doesn’t look up, closes his eyes instead and lets the music take him.

“Bittersweet memories, that’s all I’m taking with me.” He hears Pat and Tish whispering to another, can’t really see them from where they’re standing in the dark but their hushed voices sound tense. Not that Eddie’s really listening, it’s all background noise as he continues strumming his guitar.

“Goodbye, please don’t cry. We both know…” Eddie chokes on his on voice, the words hitting a little too close to home. He takes a deep breath and tries again, refusing to shed anymore tears. “We both know that I’m not what you need.”

“Eddie?”

Someone’s calling out his name. A familiar voice. A way too familiar voice.

Steve’s voice.

But that can’t be. Steve’s doesn’t knows he’s here. Steve’s too busy wooing his goddamn date with those goddamn roses.

It’s just in his head. It’s just his mind playing tricks on him. He just needs to finish this song and then this fake Steve will disappear and-

“And I… will always love you. I will always-”

“Eddie, please.”

Eddie stops playing as a shadow washes over him, a figure blocking the spotlight. He squints, trying to identify whether it’s Pat or Tish who interrupted him, only to find that it’s neither of them

Because there, with floppy wet hair plastered to his face and a thoroughly soaked pink button-down and blue jeans, stands the one person Eddie had run away from in the first place.

Steve.

tag list (there are so many of you now omg ily):

@cheatghost @henderdads @unclewaynemunson @goblin-eddie @trikigirl271 @alienace @fandomcartographer @stevethehairington @blank1eboi @this-earlobe-is-naked @fruitandbubbles @courtjestermunson @steveisabicon @stereoteleversion @wrenisflying @spectrum-spectre @hotluncheddie @punkharringtxn @remislupinsthevoiceofgod @panicatthediaz @thegingervulcan @sharkruption @goodolefashionedloverboi @thelastwalkingsoul @undreamingscatworld @starrystevie @magipemuseum @mightbeasleep @corrodedcoughin @linkydinky06 @hardboiledeggs @gamerdano @limpingpenguin @blackpanzy @piningapple @teelagurl558 @theokatz @moonlightmirrorball @milf-harrington @raisedbylibrarians @eddiemunsonswife @catateme9 @stranger-poets-society

#steddie #steddie fic #steddie fanfiction #eddie munson #steve harrington #steddie ficlet #steve harrington x eddie munson #stranger things #i wanna say i'm sorry for the cliffhanger but i'm not #stay patient friends!! it'll all be good soon #alice's writing adventures

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bitchimasnake-sss · 4 months

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At this point, I'm just stalking your page! Like I've said before- MASTERPIECES ~

So, if you see me spamming your notifications. I'm just coming in and liking all the posts, now you know why!

But I do have a request for you for the monster trio. Could you write one where the reader talks so much about her family to them, like they feel like they're already part of the family?

Like they already know what family members like and don't, what ticks them off, and such- like they want to meet your family! They want to meet the family that helped raise their girlfriend into the most amazing person in the world! They want to say thank you for allowing them to be part of her world.

So when they hear they'll be going to the island you're from. They get as excited as you to meet/see them, trying their best to look presentable. (Even showering!- I'm looking at you, Luffy, and Zoro👀)

When they met, not only did they welcome him into the family with welcoming arms- HE GETS TREATED BETTER THAN YOU! I can see the family telling them embarrassing stories, showing pictures of you as a kid- He ends up taking some copies of them back to the ship because they can't believe how adorable you were.

Little did he know that they'd already been accepted into the family way before you guys started dating. She would send her family letters telling them how amazing of a boyfriend they are.

I'm so sorry! I got too excited and wrote all this- if it's too much to do to it's okay! I'm close to my family and love them a lot- like I know the monster trio didn't have a great childhood, didn't know their family, etc. Being around a family where you can love each other very much moves them.

Sorry- I'm just rambling! Again! Love your work!!!

this has been in my inbox for fucking months. but im obsessed and finally motivated. lets get fucking wholesome. (idk if youd even see this but hopefully it lives out to your expectations!!)

time of my life ft. monkey d. luffy!

set-up: growing up in a small island with a tight knit community simply meant you were the closest with your parents. they had been your support system, from their grand gestures of love like being present on your important days to the small ones like just offering a shoulder to cry on when you had a rough day, they were truly everything to you. so, it's only natural that you mentioned them a little (or maybe a lot) to your boyfriend. and it may/may not have been a grave mistake.

luffy:

(going off a slight tangent here but its so funny that luffy's character design is just him having giant bug-like himbo eyes and smile. love him 🙏🏼)

♡ everyone loves luffy. that's pretty much his thing. the easiest way to describe him is by thinking of him as a baby goat. no matter how hard you try, you're probably gonna like him at some point or the other. even if you hate animals and babies. its gonna happen because its inevitable. ♡ so, it didn't take you long to figure out that he'd probably fit right in with your family (especially since he was so close with ace whenever he visited, family seemed like his kinda thing) ♡ even before you started dating, when you'd receive letters from your family, luffy was usually the one to ask how they were doing and what you were gonna write back. so, at one point, it seemed as if he knew your family like his own. ♡ he knew of your father's knee pain and your mother's distaste for drinking (she'd probably hate zoro and force him to bath). he knew of your younger sibling's favourite dishes and that they freak out when they see spiders of any size. he listened whenever you talked and for that, you were grateful. ♡ in your recent letters, you may have talked about him. how he's a bit of an idiot but has the heart of gold, how he makes you laugh when you miss your family and how within the crew, you found a new family altogether. ♡ so ofc, one day when you mentioned very briefly that your island is nearby, he and nami had to take a quick detour. ♡ ideally, if your boyfriend knows everything about your family, they'd try to be the perfect boyfriend and do everything right. but this is luffy. so he just remained the exact same and info dumped everything he knew in front of your family (neurodivergent tendencies i presume). ♡ but ofc ur family was obsessed. your mom almost wept tears of joy from how much this bitch was enjoying her food (both you and her lost count after the 17th plate tbh). your sibling almost murdered luffy because now they had to clean a significant amount of plates now. but everyones having a jolly good time (except you 👍🏼) ♡ but now you're parents are showing pictures from your childhood and WHY ARE YOU BUCK NAKED IN LIKE HALF OF THEM JESUS FUCKING CHRIST MOM STOP IT!! YOURE LIKE EMBARASSING ME!! ♡ you ended up leaving after a good three days (the crew had other stuff to get to and a detour can only be so long), but everyone left the place with good memories. sanji has now acquired ten new recipes, zoro may have stolen some alcohol concoction recipes and luffy may have stolen all of your parent's affection towards you. ♡ well whatever, its okay ♡ also, you're not supposed to know this but luffy now has three of your baby photos (all of them may/may not be embarrassing as fuck). it's okay though because it just proves to him that you were adorable then and are adorable now.

a/n: zoro's and sanji's parts will be up soon y'all im trying to write fluff 😭✋🏼

#one piece #opla #monkey d luffy #op #luffy x reader #luffy fic #strawhats #straw hat pirates #one piece luffy

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ateezivy · 1 year

Text

learn the alphabet with ivy (updated)

warning! jokes about drugs and killing (this is how she copes with her trauma😭)

A is for…

‘ass shakin on a tuesday?’

‘ask hongjoong if we can get mcdonald’s for dinner’

‘as a mingi enthusiast, i can confirm’

B is for…

‘but did i die?’

‘bonita’

‘boxing was fun until i almost broke my wrist-‘

C is for…

‘cause i said so’

‘cute is overrated, i like looking like i just killed someone-‘

‘call me when i actually care, wooyoung’

D is for…

‘don’t follow me, i won’t be running away. i’m going to the store…’

‘driving is easy, these losers are just lazy. AINT THAT RIGHT YUNHO???’

‘did someone say le sserafim?’

E is for…

‘eggplant emoji? boy what-‘

‘extra ice please’ ‘but seonghwa hyung asked for light-‘ ‘i said extra’

‘even if i die, keep performing’ ‘ivy no-‘

F is for…

‘frogs are innocent beings.’

‘for the LOVE OF GOD SAN SHUT UP’

‘felix said otherwise.’

G is for…

‘god would want me to’

‘going to the gym is so much work, but i’m forced to’

‘guys, i think i started my period…’ *cue panic*

H is for…

‘hongjoongie-oppa says i’m brilliant’ ‘he told you that so you would shut u-‘ ‘san no one asked for your input’

‘how did you manage to make jongho cry bruh-‘

‘how big is his-‘ ‘olivia!’ ‘-house…’

I is for…

‘i’m fearless’ *after getting scared by yunho*

‘i feel bonita’

‘if i have to dance to this song on more time-‘

J is for…

‘just say you hate me already’

‘jongho is my best friend, sometimes’

‘jimin would be my friend.’

K is for…

‘killing people is only okay sometimes’

‘kites still exist??’

‘KITTIES’

L is for…

‘lost me at the word running’

‘look at me’ *slaps san*

‘living is breathing.’

M is for…

‘mingi my dearest’

‘my type? mingi.’

‘my mom told me not to do it, but my mom is also a drug addict so-‘

N is for…

‘no money’

‘no ice cream for you mr. park’

‘nayeon-unnie is cooler than you’

O is for…

‘oh jolly pirate’

‘oh brother, this fool again’ *san walks in*

‘oh, i like yeosang more’

P is for…

‘people think im innocent. that’s cute’

‘pipe down’

‘poop doopy’

Q is for…

‘quit looking at me like that, you’re gonna make me vomit’

‘quiet, i think i hear god’

‘quit talking, i’m trying to listen to itzy!!!’

R is for…

‘right, and i’m beyoncé.’

‘right hand man, jongho. not you’ *cut to wooyoung frowning’

‘rings. blings. and all that’

S is for…

‘silence, who died?’

‘snow snow snow snow snow snow sno-‘ *yeosang throws a snowball at her*

‘sweet. can we go home now?’

T is for…

‘tomorrow is a new day, a new slay’

‘teen beach movie has one of the best soundtracks’

‘they see me rollin, they hatin-‘

U is for…

‘uvula shot’ *shows camera yunhos uvula*

‘under the seaaa. under the seeeaaa. darling is betTA down where it weTTA’

‘uhm, be so fucking for real right now…’

V is for…

‘very good morning my loves’

‘van… gogh’ *van starts moving*

‘valid point, too bad i don’t care’

W is for…

‘wow, and here i thought i was the idiot’

‘where is my food servants’ *acting a scene for a show*

‘why am i here. i need to go home. i, i need to go.’

X is for…

‘xoxo, go piss girl’

‘x-rays helped see the shape of dna’ ‘it’s 2 am. go to bed.’

x’s and the o o o’s they HAUNT me’

Y is for…

‘you have no idea what you’re talking about do you?’

‘yo, chill out brother’

‘yes, i do love my members. yes, i do hate my members. family.’

Z is for…

‘zoom zoom, hop in hotties’

‘zebras. are the white with black stripes. or black with white stripes’

‘zooweemama am i right?’

taglist: @atolua @skzfairies @itzy-eve @cixrosie @stopeatread @alixnsuperstxr @smh-anon

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nerdycrusadecomputer · 2 years

Note

I didn’t realise I slid into your ask box🤨🤨 anyways.

I’ve come to ask for some rise donnie x reader comfort where donnie comforts the reader who’s been having a hard time? I’ve been have a really rough week with my family and it would be amazing to see something with my comfort character and one of my favourite writers, of course take your time if you do decide to do my request and have a great day or night.

YESS i finally have a reason to write rottmnt 😭, anyway-

Of course i can do it! It'll probably take a while since i have like 10 exams this week but I'll try to write it as fast as possible! And i don't know if you wanted it to be romantic of platonic so i made both :D

Anyway sorry if the characters are a bit oc i just watched the movie nad not the show 😅 but I'm planning to watch it, and by planing I'm saying my friend, that i am not naming cuz i respect their privacy, is gonna force me to watch all the episodes with them

Key words: y/n - your name ; p/n - pet name ; s/o - significant other ; n/n - nickname

Rise Donatello x gn!reader (they/them pronouns used) platonic and romantic

Warnings: nothing

Enjoy!

Romantic:

The sounds of tools and metal could be heard clanking in Donnie's laboratory as y/n approached, not so enthusiasticly, let's just say they had a bad week, a really bad one

As they opened the lab door Donnie turned around quickly to see who it was, and sighed in relief as he saw his s/o approaching

"hey p/n, how are you?" He asked as he quickly dropped whatever he was doing, but he was still sat in his chair

"not so great." They said as they sat down on one of Donnie's chairs, sighing

"oh what happened?." He asked, his happy voice dropping to more of a sad tone, i mean who wouldn't be sad to hear the love of their life sad, "if you're willing to talk about it of course." He added as to not make them uncomfortable

"it has just been hard lately." They said, "honestly i just wanna curl up in to a ball and sleep."

"want to hug it out?" Donnie mumbled

"what was that?" Y/n asked as they lifted their head up in confusion

"do you want to hug it out?" Donnie asked, slightly embarrassed as he opened up his arm's

Y/n smiled warmly as they hugged their boyfriend, he was took by surprise, even though it was his idea to hug, but hugged them back nonetheless

---

Maybe five minutes have passed and the couple was still hugging

"do you want to talk about it now?" Donatello asked as he tilted his head to the side, not letting go of them of course

"just give me a few more minutes Don." They said as they buried their face deeper in the crook of the turtles neck

"okay." Donnie said as he hugged them tighter, a warm smile spreading across his face, he was just glad to have them in his arms,

Platonic:

Y/n groaned loudly as they entered Donnie's lab, plopping down on a chair near the turtle

"well you're in a bad mood." Donnie said, not looking away from god knows what he was doing now

"yup." They answered simply as they turned their head towards the turtle, not planing to get up from the chair

A couple of minutes passed and it seemed like neither were gonna start a conversation

"what's making you this grumpy anyway?" He asked as he looked towards y/n for a second and then back to what he was working on

"you wanna hear it in detail or?" They asked

Donnie sat there for a couple of seconds thinking on of he wanted them to rant about what was bothering them, or does he want to hear a three word sentence that barely explains about their bad mood

"well?" They asked, seeing Donnie become quiet all of a sudden

"rant your heart out n/n." Donnie said as he, for once, stopped working on whatever it was on his table and turned towards y/n, elbow on the desk as he seemed to look anoyed, but y/n knew he wasn't because he would have thrown them out of his room a while ago

---

Y/n spilled their heart out as they said everything in detail, and Donnie listened to all of it without question

"and that's about it... Thank you for listening Donnie." They said

"no problem, if you need me I'm always here." He said

"uhm- can i get a hug?" Y/n asked as they opened up her arms

Donnie rolled his eyes, but opened is arms as well, giving permission for y/n to hug him

Y/n jumped on him, giving him a big warm hug as Donnie almost fell out of his chair

"Anyway, gotta go bye Donnie! thank you again for listening." They said as they let go of the hug and left the room

Donnie just continued to work on his project like nothing happened

Sorry if it's short i kinda didn't know what to write 😅 but anyway, i hope you liked it and if you would like any changes, i will gladly change it to your liking :)

I hope you have a great day/ night/ afternoon

Bye!!!

#rottmnt #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt donatello #rottmnt donnie x reader #x reader platonic #x reader romantic #comfort #comfort?

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jaytoons7 · 11 months

Note

❛ you’re my family too. ❜ - Ulle and someone else of your choosing!

Ulle frowned as she ate some food in the cafeteria. She had been previously working all day to avoid some negative thoughts creeping in her mind. But they unfortunately seem to have returned...

She almost didn't notice that Scottie was suddenly sitting across form them. "O-Oh. I didn't see ya there." She hid her distress behind a smile. "You on break?"

Scottie shrugged. "I'm pretty much done with dinner for today, So yeah. I'm just eating my dinner now."

The two sat in awkward silence before Ulle spoke up. "I-I have a question! If it's too personal, You don't have to answer it!" Scottie raised an eyebrow before finally nodding. "Alright. Shoot."

"D-Do you ever miss your family..?"

Scottie was silent for a good minute after that question was asked. Ulle suddenly worried that she crossed a boundary and was fully prepared for Scottie to yell at her. She wasn't expecting Scottie to answer like this:

"I... Don't know..." Their voice sounded uncharacteristically quiet, Almost sounding unsure of their own answer. "It's... Complicated. I never wanna go back but... I-I dunno... Whatever I answer probably won't make any sense... Why did you of all people wanna know..?"

"I..." Ulle felt reluctant to answer before sighing. "Today would've been my grandma's birthday... A-And since I never got to meet my dad and mom died when I was little, She was the one that raised me." Tears formed in the corners of her eyes. "I-I know I have the Toppats now, B-But it still hurts..."

Scottie quietly listened, Before at least attempting to think of an answer. "I can't really pretend to know how that feels..." Scottie admitted. "From what I know, Our childhoods were very different from each other... But if you want to know my advice or something, I'll tell ya' only if you wanna know. I ain't gonna force nothing down your throat."

"No! No! I wanna hear it!" Ulle quickly nodded. "Th-That's why I asked you in the first place! I wanted your opinion!"

Scottie gave a weak smile before looking at the table. "I guess what I've learned is that conflictin' feelings like this are... Normal I guess?" They played with their hair a bit. "Like, It's normal to love your new family while missin' your old one. In your case at least. That's probably really dumb advice..."

"N-No, It isn't!" Ulle quickly spoke. "I get what you're saying! I have been feeling super conflicted lately... I just didn't really know how to word it. At least I know now how I'm feeling."

"And it's not like ya' have to go through that alone." Scottie hummed. "You have your family here after all."

"Yeah, But Scottie..." She went over and hugged them. "You're my family too. I know we've had our differences before, But I really do care about you. Thank you"

Scottie's eyes widened before they hugged Ulle back. "N-No problem..."

Ulle let go of Scottie before giving a teasing smirk. "Buuut, You do still owe me for that strawberry cheesecake." Scottie's eyes widened and they nervously laughed. "Th-That's fair. I-I was really actin' like an idiot huh..?"

"Yep!" Ulle replied with a smile. "A stupid dumb idiot! But that's why I love you!" Scottie rolled their eyes before a smile smile appeared on their face.

"I love ya' too."

#the henry stickmin collection #thsc #thsc oc #ulle meadows #scottie anderson #jay writes #jay answers questions

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namkooktyddys · 9 months

Text

3. Break Free

Author's P.O.V:

One Day to the Wedding

The enthusiasm had died. You were restless to get married and start a new phase of your life with Taehyung 2 days ago and look at you now.

You didn't feel like a bride at all.

There you were, continuously staring at the ceiling of your room as you were laying on your back. Just how quickly the things took a turn just before your D-Day. Everything was being replayed in your mind from the beginning, the day you and Taehyung met and immediately you fell for the man he was. Never you had thought he would be someone like this.

You went on 8 dates in total in a span of 17 months. Each time he would show up with a present for you, which you had preserved so dearly in your shelf. Your families met each other for 3 times in the same span of time.

This was not a love marriage.

It was rather an arranged marriage where you got convinced that Taehyung is the man of your dreams.

The demons inside your head was not letting you to reach a conclusion. You were constantly thinking about what had happened in the evening.

At the dinner table, you were all quiet while everyone was immersed in the wedding vibe. Ha-Eun was nowhere to be spotted. Tonight, the food was hard to chew, drinks were hard to gulp and the urge to swipe away all the plates on the table was at its peak. The whole time, your eyes were filled with tears, however nobody took a notice of that as your hairs hid your face perfectly. The pain that you were feeling was real. It felt like crying your heart out until you passout. Your body felt heavy looking at the smiles plastered on your parents face, wondering what would happen to those happy faces when they realize the truth.

Would they still force you to get married to a betrayer?

Hence, to confirm this doubt of yours, you pulled your mother to a corner amidst all the hush and rush.

"Ma..."

Your mother nodded at you while her entire attention was at your aunt who'd been drinking ever since she came to your place.

"Ma.. Listen to me."

"Oh yes I am, dear- Y/N? Ahh.. it's okay to feel overwhelmed."

Mrs. Lee wrapped her arms around your figure, engulfing you into a warm hug after she saw your teary eyes. She guessed you were anxious and overwhelmed about the wedding, and separation from your family.

This was your last straw. You broke down in her arms.

"Please call off this wedding."

She chuckled at your words and patted your back lightly.

"I ain't gonna spend my life with a cheater, Ma!"

Mrs. Lee's actions froze. Pulling off from the hug, she looked deep into your eyes hunting for an explanation, which you eventually gave her.

You summarized the entire scene but kept Ha-Eun away from the story. Instead, you lied that Taehyung was making out with a random girl cause no one would believe if you said it was your own sibling who did this to you. All your life, you got accused of being jealous of Ha-Eun so what would be the repercussions of spilling the naked truth?

"Dearie, Taehyung loves you so much and so do you, don't ya? It's better to pretend that event never happened okay? For you, and for us too yeah?"

"Gosh! Why should my life be at stake huh?!"

"Your dad will never agree to call it off you know? It's a wedding that holds the ability to change the trajectory of the fashion industry! Lees and Kims, two massive names are extending their relationships from just business partners. Well, about your life.... Life is full of compromises dear, and you gotta accept that. With the Kims, your future is gonna be secure and comfortable. And Taehyung... He is a good guy. It was just a mistake alright? You will forgive him and you both will lead a happy, successful life yeah?"

"Unbelievable Ma! Never in my wildest dreams I had thought of you being so unaffected!"

Your jaw clenched in anger recalling the conversation but is this how the world is shaped? Cheating on your partner is never a mistake but a choice. The cheater knows it well. They are aware about their wrongdoings yet get caught up in lust that lures them.

Why are you being forced to sacrifice your happiness and compromise, negotiate for the bad? You knew the world was always cruel, but when did it turn heartless, ready to trade anything and anyone for money? Your own blood behaved so indifferent and mean towards you.

All people care about is profit?

Reputation?

Society?

Social status?

Wealth?

This is your life, where you weren't in power. You had zero control over it. The steering of your life was in someone's else's hands and right now, they're driving towards the wrong lane. You thought to yourself, it's time to either continue with the journey, or snatch the steering. This is the time to become brave and bold, take a stand for yourself to save from ruining your future from your own hands. One wrong decision and there lies your emotions for the world to play with. That would be so damn foolish of you.

"'Secure and comfortable' my foot!"

Quickly jumping out of the bed, you picked the cat-shaped backpack purse from your cupboard and shoved a few clothes alongwith all the gifts you'd ever received from Taehyung inside it.

"WHEN I SAY I AIN'T MARRYING THAT BASTARD, I FUCKING MEAN IT."

_______________________________

__________________________

Author's Note:

What are your thoughts on this chapter? Will Y/N manage to escape from Kim?

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cru5h-cascades · 1 month

Text

Mat3 Heart of a God Character Bio #1: Zatz

Look, I'm doing Zatz first not because of bias (out of almost all the characters in Mat3 I like his design best; his and Chimi's both ^w^), but because I feel like they could have done a lil' bit more with his character. Ight not gonna add that much fluff to this post's intro, so here we go :D

(also y'all might wanna listen to this while reading this post lmao this Undertale track just seems fitting for this version of Zatz)

In my re-imagining of Mat3, Zatz grew up in the mortal realm instead of basically hell (the realm of the gods). The king of bats (then a full god) was hangin' out in a forest or whatever with some bats, saw his future wife, and was like "damn that's pretty hot", so he goes down there and starts talking to her. And the rest is history. Eventually they do the thing and boom 9 months later came lil' Zatz, the first demigod to be birthed. Now back then, Michlan didn't have his "all demigods must be brought to the realm of the gods" rule, so he was like "um... you wanna raise this kid over here in the realm of the gods...? raising him in the mortal realm might not be the best idea...", only for the king of bats to be determined to give Zatz the best life he could and hopes he can teach his son how to control his godly powers.

As a kid Zatz had decent control of his abilities, however it was when he felt negative emotions (specifically saddness and anger) that things got really out of hand. In these situations, Zatz would become immobilized as hundreds of bats swarm around him. However, before anything else could happen, someone would calm Zatz down or he'd do so himself so the bats would leave, as their prince wasn't in distress anymore. This would happen every now and then and the villagers would gradually get more frustrated about this as the prince of bats got older. Most villagers would try to keep things tame around the boy, but some of the village children really wanted to press Zatz's buttons and see how far they can push him, only to regret this decision after they finally broke him at the age of 13. After being severely harassed by the local children, Zatz snapped, summoning almost every bat in the area and just letting them do what he subconsciously wanted them to do: kill all those who tried to do him harm. This incident took the lives of many of the villagers, including his mum, who was trying to calm him down. After seeing the corpse of his mother lying right next to him, Zatz called off the bats and tore out his own eye out of grief. He'd spend a few minutes just sobbing on the ground by his mother's side until the king of bats returned to retrieve his son and the body of his wife.

Later that night, Zatz and the king of bats got summoned to the realm of the gods by Lord Michlan. Michlan decides to punish the king of bats by turning him into the version of him we see in the OG series and gives Zatz special bracelets that restrict him from using his full power as long as they stay on (he isn't allowed to take them off in fear of Zatz causing more bats to go fucking nuts again). The two are then forced to live in the realm of the gods for eternity and to further punish Zatz for harming a good chunk of his village, Michlan (who originally wanted Zatz dead but walked back on that after noticing that bro fucking tore out his own eye) gives Zatz a special duty. Starting when Zatz is 15 years old, he must go back to the mortal realm to seperate demigods living with their mortal familes from their mortal families when they turn 15 and take them to the realm of the gods, where they'll live in the realm of the gods for the rest of their days. It wouldn't be until Zatz turned 16 where he actually had to seperate a family (with that family being Maya's). Ever since the day Zatz and his father were sentanced to live in the realm of the gods, Zatz got quiet and slightly depressed, dreading the day he'd have to seperate a family. He blames himself for everything that's happened to him and his father thus far and hasn't let go of the events that occured that fateful day when he was 13. Because of this guilt, Zatz vowed to try to confort demigods who have just recently been sent to the realm of the gods the best he can so they don't feel like it's their fault they're there and they've caused their family pain.

Other info:

Zatz and his father live pretty far away from Michlan's palace because they both are looked down upon by almost all the other gods. Instead of living in a palace/mansion like the other gods, their house is similar to that of a typical house in the mortal realm but with a few more improvements.

Because apparently Zatz and Maya are reincarnated as Maria and Manolo in the Book of Life, I kinda want to make the parallels a bit clearer so Zatz, in the rewrite, has an interest in music (he plays flute btw since the aztecs didn't have any sort of string instruments until the Spanish came to Mexico).

Zatz (in this rewrite) has anxiety (specifically agoraphobia and separation anxiety disorder)

Ever since the incident with the bats, Zatz has avoided trying to fight people in general in fear of snapping again.

Zatz doesn't quite know how to interact with others around his age both because it's been years since he's been in the mortal realm and because the local village kids would typically avoid him in cases where they didn't need anything from him.

#maya and the three #mat3 #heart of a god #rewrite #zatz the prince of bats #character bio #SoundCloud

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queen--kenobi · 10 months

Text

AITA for reminding my future wife (18F) that I love her?

Throwaway account because I don't trust her stalker not to find this and use it as proof I'm a bad person 🙄

I (19M) have been in love with this girl, E, since we were young. I even told one of my older brothers, we'll call him Tyw, I was gonna marry her and that E and I were destined to be like him and his late wife were. She knows this. We talked about our wedding when we were 14 and 15.

When she turned 16, she started acting real cold around me, and I don't understand what I did. It doesn't matter because I'm going to marry her, but it bothered me a little. I just chalked it up to her getting really early wedding jitters. I decided to go ahead and plan our wedding so she wouldn't have to worry about a thing.

When she turned 17 she started talking to one of our mutual friends, D (19M). We're a close-knit community so everyone knows everyone. I thought it was just her trying to make me jealous so I just stopped talking to her for several months. I don't play petty games. Anyway, I couldn't take not talking to her so when Tyw went to go check on her family and their business (they work for us), I tagged along. I talked to her, and I told her as soon as she turned 18 she'd officially be mine. It shouldn't have been a surprise; we'd been talking about it for going on 4 years now. She acted like I'd slapped her. I also told her dad I was gonna propose, and he got super mad at me. E has always been a Daddy's girl so maybe that's why she got weird on me? I don't know why her dad doesn't like me, it's not like I did anything to him. I may have taken teasing his youngest, and E's younger brother R(14M) too hard, but that's it! I don't know what her dad's problem is.

Anyway, about 3 months before E turned 18 she ran away from home with D. At first I thought D kidnapped her! Naturally me and my brothers picked D up and questioned him. We did rough him up a bit, but like. I thought he kidnapped my future wife, I was totally justified! Tyw found a train ticket D left, and it was to the biggest city in our state. The only reason I didn't go right away was because another one of my brothers, Tyl, lives in that ciry. He could protect her if needed.

We roughed D up a bit more, and I guess we killed him at some point? I mean he deserved it because he forced my wife to leave me so idc.

I will say I might have taken it too far when I flayed him before we dropped him off at home. In my defense we brand all the guys who work for us. It's a cultural thing so you can't get mad at me it's totally normal here. Besides they know what they're in for we've been doing this forever. Plus, it's an honor to get it. I didn't flay him entirely, I just removed his brand because he didn't deserve it anymore, on account of him being a traitor.

R, her younger brother, turned 14 that week. He's a hard worker and his family has always listened to mine, so my brothers and I decided to give him the brand early. He was the youngest to get it.

I wrote E letters telling her all of this. My brother Tyl delivered them, although he refused to tell me where she lives. Sometimes I think he has a thing for her? Not the point. It does bother me, though. E never responded to any of my letters. Tyl eventually told me she probably didn't want to hear from me because I killed D. If I could explain myself in person, I knew she'd forgive me!

The day before her birthday I had Tyl make arrangements for me, her, and him to go to lunch. I wanted to surprise her and show her that I was serious about marrying her and making it work. I took a train to her city. I eventually found out where she worked. It was weird, two rando brothers (Ae and Aem) were hanging off her arm! I really didn't loke the way Aem was looking at her. I'm pretty sure he was stalking her because he was following her everywhere. I also heard he'd announced she was under his protection? I admit that pissed me off because that's my job as her future husband.

I waited until she closed to talk to her. This guy came up to her and started harassing her? He threatened to kill her. I couldn't sit back and watch, so I killed him. E seemed totally surprised to see me, which was nice. I had hoped to surprise her. She took me back to her house and let me stay on her couch as a thank you. I woke up before her so I fixed some stuff around her place.

She woke up, and Tyl came by so we all went to lunch. Tyl didn't get reservations where I wanted, which pissed me off a little. When we went to lunch, I gave E a hair comb made of gold with pearls in it. It was a huge deal because it's a way to announce an engagement. She didn't open it and kept trying to give it back, which pissed me off because it was expensive! Tyl even tried to get me to take it back. And then Aem came in and asked E to a birthday dinner at his family home and gave her a gift? She accepted it too, probably just to be nice. I snuck my gift into her handbag because I was tired of arguing with her.

After we took E home, Tyl got really mad at me. He doesn't get mad often so this really threw me off. He was saying I embarrassed him and her by trying to do a public proposal. He said that I was coming off too strong and that I should give her some time? I absolutely think he just wants her, but still. It bothered me. I just wanted E to know I love her and think about her! When I went home, I talked to Tyw. He said when I bring her back I should remind her of her place. I'm thinking if branding her before our wedding? I'd normally wait until after, but Tyw does have a point.

TL;DR: My future wife ran away, so I wrote her letters to remind her I loved her and even tried to surprise on her birthday. I even killed 2 men for her. She and one of my brothers think I took it too far, but another one of my brothers said I need to remind her of her place. I just did this all because I need her to know I love her. AITA?

#oc: elayna reyne #oc: tymon lannister #branding cw #murder cw #long post

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arainmorn-art · 1 year

Text

A path of self-destruction

So I’ve seen that 14th March is Write Your Story day. Sounds neat, though I have no ideas for fiction to write about right now. But I have a personal story. I wanted to write about it for quite some time, because for some weird reason I feel more comfortable writing about some psychological stuff in English. It seems easier - and safer. Here might be no people that know me personally. And with a small audience it also feels... like I am in a small circle of silent respectful strangers, telling my story without a chilling fear of being interrupted or shunned. Or being avoided.

People don’t like sad body horror stories.

It’s an act of self-preservation for sure, our mind tries to protect us from horrible things, as it tries to be a protective parent guarding its kid. I understand it. It’s not like I tell the whole story to everyone, firstly it would take a long time, secondly - I don’t like making people upset. If people around me, who like me, are getting upset only by mentioning a miniscule part of stuff, why should I force them to listen the rest?

But sometimes... I need to tell it.

Heh. And how should I begin?

“There once was a girl with a loving family. She had both parents, a mother and a father. But strangely the girl was growing up strongly relating to fatherless kids her age. She was growing up waiting for her father’s death”

An intriguing kind of start, I hope.

The thing is it’s quite hard for me to tell you about only this part of my forming years, because right after high school there were also several traumatic circumstances I lived with, and stories about my dad and the coup, and the civil war, and severe trust issues, and loosing a feel of basic safety, and a crushing feeling of being a hated outsider in my own country are heavily intertwined. But... I doubt my writing abilities to tell you everything in one post. Maybe next time. I’ll mention those situations briefly, just keep in mind that... well, it was all happening at the same time.

So.

“She was a shy girl, whimsy and timid, a kind that usually becomes some sort of an artist. Five years might be not the best age to learn about death, but this realization came to her quite early. We all gonna die, she realizied, and nothing will stop it. She cried and ran to the kitchen to her mom, looking for comfort, but mom couldn’t say anything to console her. “It happens in many years!”, she tried to tell her crying daughter. She wasn’t expecting this conversation so soon”

I don’t know how others get this awarness of their own mortality. I simply haven’t asked, actually. I got mine after watching Conan the Barbarian and The Fifth Element movies. Oh, and add Princess Mononoke to this soup. And many 80s and 90s scince fiction and action movies, that were by far not kid-friendly! Yeah... my mom admits she and my dad were stupid to show me these movies before elementary school, but now I can tell young gen-Ziers that in my time we were much tougher kids!.. Well, come on, don’t give away all the credits to Don Bluth, a Grand Child Traumatizer, an old Total Recall was a blast! :D

My mom also thinks that there were too many familiar people who died through my forming years, both relatives and friends. I don’t know, maybe she is right. My grandpa was buried at the day of my 14th birthday, a year before two family friends died, a year after there were grand-grandma and three family friends, and many more...

14 years old. Yeah. I remember, it was a first time when I thought: “My dad will probably die because of a stroke. His face gets so red when he is screaming in anger”. 2008 year, hello, House M.D., teaching me new words.

“A girl was told by her dad that she had a happy childhood, a roof above her head, a food on her table and some money. Often told. Constantly told. It was true, but was there a need to repeat it? He needed to. He also told her he can clearly see she doesn’t value anything he gave her. That she doesn’t respect him. He demanded love. He believed there were all the ingredients for happiness. He was telling it but he rarely talked to her. They lived in one appartment yet she felt they were a little closer than strangers”

My dad was a complicated man to say the least. He was a large man with a strong physique, a wide chest yet narrow shoulders. His features were rounded: a round face, a big nose, plump lips, bushy eyebrows, even his black beard was making him feel rounder. My whole childhood I was told I was a female copy of him. He was a man leaving a grand impression about him, a succesful man, loved by his friends, relatives and wife... and strangely enough he was also an absent father.

For some reason I still can vividly remember his dark yellow teeth, black on the edges, and a brown tongue behind them. He drank a very strong black tea, 2 to 4 teabags at the same time in a large cup. The stains after such tea was impossible to wash away. Oh, and I just have to mention the amount of smoking he had. Pack after pack. Some fathers quit smoking when they get kids. My father was smoking even when I, being an infant, was sleeping near him in my mom’s embrace. I never smoked myself. Never ever.

The smell of cigarettes was everywhere. It was on the furniture, on my clothing, on my hair. The smell was so strong sometimes my teachers in school were asking if somebody recently smoked, although I was a whole day away from home. The smoke turned wallpapers in my dad’s room yellow; a lamp, a table, a computer and bookshelves had a very distinct greasy feel about them because of resin and dust. Maybe only whiskey and vodka bottles were cleaner. They were changing often.

My mom was worried about him. She called it “a path of self-destruction”.

And he still had a leg in those years.

It was 2011, I was still 16, soon turning 17, when I heard about the second type diabetes. I didn’t understand how it workes, but the most shocking news were: “They are going to amputate your father’s big toe”. Oh man, it’s so silly now how scared I was.

It’s just a toe.

What’s weird to me to remember that from this and several years later I was fixated on the topic of amputation. It was a repeating theme in my sketches... though it weren’t legs. It were hands. A crying mermaid with amputated hands. A cheerful alien with stumps instead of her arms, with clunky prosthesises made of thin metal tubes. A monster bleeding out with a chopped arm. Zombies falling apart. Decaying robots. A blood. A torn skin. Scars. Bare bones. And crying. Lots of crying characters. It was my weird way of coping.

So the doctors kept slicing his foot until there were no toes on it.

I thought he was powerful. I thought he could hurt me, though not physically. He never beated me, no. Though I was so stressed I believed my scared mom, that he could kicked us out of the house.

Bones in my dad’s foot were destructing, because he was refusing to change his lifestyle, even at cost of his own health.

I was 19. It still is a gentle age for a girl. I needed a feeling of safety... and yes, I had it at home. While also being afraid of my dad’s rage, if he knew about my sexuality.

Even if he was already in a wheelchair without a leg.

And then the coup in 2014 happened. I lived several districts away from it. For me it was one of the most traumatising events. It was brutal. I was afraid I could be killed just while walking with my dog. The world I’ve lived before was burning alive in front of my eyes. People were drunk of inpunishability. A feeling of safety was lost for many years.

The only thing in her terrified words might be true that he could turn our lives into emotional torture. Oh, he was very good at making you feel like a trash. Like the lowest of the low. Like a pathetic piece of a garbage.

My father was afraid of death and uncertainty. Numbing himself with alcohol he was able to push through those fears and take care of me and my mom. The truth is... he was a weak man, too. Instead of trying to discipline himself so diabetes would stop devouring his body, the bloodvessels in his brain, his eyes, his legs, his kidneys, my father just... stayed on the path of self-destruction.

No cries would convince him to change so he could stay longer with his loving family.

No foul wound would stop him.

I was 21. I remember that night, when he returned from the hospital. He seriously was at the death’s door. Before his return I’ve cried for several hours feeling guilt that I was angry at him, being horrified that I might loose him. When he returned, I thought about all the inspirational movies I’ve watched, you know, that kind: “After near death experience our protagonist will find a will power to change his life!”. I loved such kind of movies.

I wanted them to be truth.

I’ve heard my mom starting to weep when she walked out of my dad’s room, yellow of nicotine. I walked into his room and saw him... smoking and pouring a glass. He wanted to relax. As if nothing has happened. As if me and my mom hadn’t cried our eyes out for him.

It was the first time I’ve screamed at him in rage. I was afraid of my dad for those last years, I was always meek and passive around him because he would easily suppres me. But I was enraged at that moment. How dare he smoke after everything. How dare he drink after what doctors told us: “You can start mourning”, because his kidneys were clearly failing. And he was surprised, of course. He started laughing at me. “Look at you! You can be like that?”. I remember his dark yellow teeth glistening in the light of a table lamp. He was laughing in self-defense.

“Hey, look at her!” - he called my mom, rolling his wheelchair to the bathroom door. He kept laughing, almost hysterically, as we both could clearly hear my mom hopelessly crying in the shower.

I felt so much disdain, and anger, and sadness, but most of all - the horror of understanding. Dad was still laughing. My outburst had no other way to leave my chest but to shout at the top of my lungs right in my father’s face: “I wish you would die already!”

He stopped laughing.

I ran to the kitchen and burst into tears sitting on the floor, as that new realization weakened my knees.

There was no hope.

It was not an inspirational movie. It was not a fairytale. It was not a story about taking control over your life and trying to save it.

It was a story about unstoppable relentless self-destruction. No matter how many bones would crumble, how much flesh would be cut away, how further blind he would become.

It was despair. Soul-crushing despair. In the chaotic world after the coup, during the civil war, where it still felt safer beside my half-blind father with no leg on the wheelchair, than far from him... there were no hope that he would live long enough to even see me graduating from university.

About two more times he was also near death. Diabetes killed his kidneys.

“There once was a boy in a body of a big grown man. Both of his parents died of cancer. His lighthearted yet timid father faded away, turned into a skeleton covered with skin. His narcissistic mother, who looked like a giant jellyfish on her deathbed, died right after her son scolded her for tormenting a nurse. The boy was so lonely and sad no one around him could bring him comfort. Even the sight of sauce that his mother cooked him in the past could brought him into tears. It reminded him how harsh he was with her right before she died. He didn’t say goodbye. Or that he loved her”

I haven’t told my father a proper goodbye either.

I was abroad trying to date a girl that was clearly not a good match for me. I was looking for comfort and haven’t find any. My mother hasn’t told me anything before I returned home. She thought I was happy and didn’t wanted to ruin that trip for me. For several days she was forcing a smile for me during videocalls.

It was cerebral edema. He died at night, delirious and screaming, shouting us to run away, so the infamous nazi gang from my country wouldn’t catch us. She told me when I’ve returned home and at first I haven’t any words to say or any tears to cry.

The 6th January of 2017 was the date of his death.

He kept slowly dying over the next couple of years.

People were confused how I could be so stoic at the funeral. I don’t know myself. I just felt hollow. My mom though was falling apart, overventilating as she tried not to cry while seeing her husband in the coffin. She asked my cousin to slap her across the face so she would no lose consciousness - and yeap, it was me who slaped her, as my cousin was too shocked by such request. I felt that me being calm and stable helped my mom more than anything. I supported her. I gave her comfort. The world was crushing for her without him.

While I was thinking... that, strangely enough, my world continued to exist.

I’ve cried for my father’s death several times, but the death itself wasn’t happening. And when it finally happened, there were not many tears left. Though I still feel the ache in my heart for him. He was so lonely. He had such a big responsibility on his shoulders, he continued to work even in the hospital bed so he could provide us. He tried to protect us from the evil of the world around us even at his last moments.

I respect it tremendously, dad.

I’ve looked into my old drawings I have on my PC. My gosh. So many crying people. I haven’t realized before, how many tears were shed without actual tears, but through my artwork.

It’s such a pity we couldn’t became closer.

Eh.

It’s been six years.

I suppose I can say I’m no longer a person I used to be. I hope so. I was such a coward.

It’s 3 am on my clock, I’ve been writing for five hours in one sit, gosh darn it. Perhaps I really needed it.

And I feel better.

Despite everything happened between us, I still love you.

#my writing #writeblr #writing #family drama #diabetes #amputation #death #father's death #sad memories #writers on tumblr #pencil #pencil sketch #drawing #pencil drawing #my post #my art #arainmorn's art

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valleynix · 1 year

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So I have reached the final chapter (for now it is)

The lvl of stress when Reader wanted to leave the room but Dani was blocking the door 🔼🔼🔼

Daniela, I love you but MOVE.

Anyway, LUNATIC IS GETTING SOFT????

It would be cute to have them see the Dimis through Reader's eyes and slowly grow fond of them 😭

And Dani mentioned before that sometimes Reader's scent is different, when they blackout and Lunatic takes over their body, so basically Lunatic sometimes hangs out with them.

It breaks my heart and makes me sad when Lunatic's all beaten up calling for mother, but Miranda couldn't care less :(

I wish they would join forces with Reader.

This chapter was full of pain too but thank you for the sweet family moment with all of them at the end 😭

Pls the sisters bickering and Cass' conversation with Alcina were so cute I was giggling the whole time.

I do hope tho, that Reader will have a conversation with all of them and at least briefly explain that there may come the day that they'll be in danger. Because rn they simply don't believe Reader would harm them or are like "we won't let anything happen to you🥺" while it's them that may die😭

It's also hard to listen to Reader and just do what they say to stay safe if they're kept in dark and confused.

Like if Dani knew what was going on perhaps she would just let them out of the room the first time they tried to fix things.

Anyway, my journey came to a stop for now, unfortunately. There's no other way than to patiently wait for the next chapter to be released (I hope I won't forget the events till then😭).

So let me say again that I love how you wrote the Dimis. It's actually my first fic with Alcina being a more significant character so I didn't come across any awful way she was written but I heard that some people say she's a bad mom so I'm glad to see her caring for and being soft with her lil fly babies. Because she does in canon too, clearly.

I didn't have any issues with Bela in fics either. But hell I am tired of the way Cassandra is, so I absolutely adore the one in the universe of your fic, I think she certainly is unique.

And Daniela. We know well about Daniela😭 So thank you so much for showing the world the Dani you created. She's such a sweet ball full of joyful energy and she does seem different from her sisters but girl's not stupid and understands what's going on around her.

And I will say again that I like the way you write in general, it's a pleasure to read it and don't worry, it does make sense :)

listen, i promise to have the next chapter out relatively soon?? i’ve been so busy with school and just in general being unable to focus :’)

BUT ANYWAY

*poor baby didn’t understand the urgency and why they couldn’t take time to explain everything :( she’s trying her best and that’s all that matters

*i feel we’re definitely getting into some territory where maybe, just maybe, Lunatic is starting to realize Miranda may not care as much as she claims to. like you said, the angst in them crying and calling out for her, only for her to not even spare them a glance? yeah, they definitely noticed (although in the moment, it became rage directed at Reader instead)

*i can tell you with certainty that Lunatic has hung out with them unintentionally 😭 they don’t ever do anything without Miranda’s orders, so they’ll just sit there all stiff with their lip curled. meanwhile, Dani sees and smells that it’s not really them, just watching them with a “what the fuck” face

*hehe, i tried to make it softer toward the end :D and give Cass some motherly love that most people don’t ever give to her. i need more of them just being a family rather than whatever the hell some people do to them 😭

*the irony of the “we won’t let anything happen to you!” 💀 like, yeah, nothing WILL happen to Reader, but y’all are gonna be in danger pls. but we’ll start to slowly see where they do notice things and start to put pieces together (as Bela is actually doing in chapter fifteen as of now), and a certain someone has already pieced together that they’re not all they seem, that maybe there’s a reason they smelled so strongly of Miranda…

*definitely! i have something special with that planned this chapter, though i won’t say who ends up knocking some sense into Reader (though you can probably guess who)

*hehe, i’m really glad you like it so far!! and i am hoping to not have as much angst with the next like, 1-2 chapters. still some because i’m incapable of writing a chapter without it apparently, but nothing as bad as what happened in 13&14. i have about 5k rn and there’s a bit of angst in the beginning and i have some planned later, but it’s all good for plot, i promise 😎

ack, i hate how much people just think or assume she would mistreat them for any reason whatsoever. and the people who make her hurt her lil babies for the sake of a Reader/OC… i have some words to exchange with them, oh my god

i do try my best to write them as “canon” as possible, even if there are a few moments here and there where they may be OOC. they still all have their own interests and hobbies outside of whatever Reader is doing in their spare time, and i feel plenty of people don’t do that well enough ?

i have such an issue with the way people write Dani and Cass, my god 😭 Dani may be a little out of touch with reality and may struggle with the concept of personal space sometimes, but she’s still smart and an adult, not some toddler that doesn’t understand a single thing going on. and people writing Cass like she’s nothing more than a cold-hearted, horny, sadistic person with absolutely no care for her family or partner is so bland. let the girl be aloof on the outside but care deeply once she lets people in!!

it’s been so fun to read your thoughts on what’s going on and the interactions between everyone, and i look forward to what else you’ll have to say when i (eventually) write chapter fifteen :-)

i might post an actual excerpt later, but in the meantime, here’s a cute lil snippet of a scene i have planned with our very sweet but very energetic Dani <3

#asks #to promise the moon #it’s been so refreshing having someone understand what’s going on 😭#plenty of people do but also plenty misinterpret it #which is okay !#i mean it is confusing #but i dunno it’s nice skdbs

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eurydicees · 2 years

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so. about platonic atsuiwa........

i believe they would have that weird kind of friendship where they don't know each other's favorite color but do know about their deepest trauma lol

like, atsumu will constantly rant about his love life (or lack thereof) and iwaizumi will listen with full commitment but pause him to ask things like, "wait, who was that guy again?" or "huh what high school were you from btw?" "what was your brothers name?" etc.

(and somehow its not awkward at all. atsumu answers and they move on)

i might be a bit obsessed with iwa's mom friend energy but can you blame me. he needs to take care of other people all the time or he will die. and with oikawa living overseas now he needs a new brat to take care of, you know.

but its not the same as it was with oikawa, because atsumu gets offended when people try to be caring with him. so iwa has to be sneaky about it, too. like instead of outward saying "don't overwork yourself" he has to go out of his way to invite him to do stuff when he knows the little shit's gonna spend the whole weekend at gym practicing serves again. and atsumu always agrees when iwa asks to hang out because he's a friendless lonely bastard who cries when people show him the slightest bit of love and attention

also atsumu calls iwa to rant about how much he hates samu twice a week. iwa tried to tell him once that he actually loves his brother very much and it's obvious but atsumu brushed it off by saying iwa wouldn't understand lmao

for iwa, tsumu is mostly a brat who needs him but he's also one of the most understanding people on earth. when iwa rants on the phone about his work or his family, he feels like he reaveals too much at the end and tries to cover it like "i mean i dont even know why i get so damn depressed over it this is so stupid" and atsumu will be like "nah i get it. want me to drop by with ice cream?"

and he does!! everybody wants to eat ice cream and cry sometimes!!! iwa needs to be babied too, thank you very much

tsumu's way of caring isnt as clear as iwa's but iwa gets it. instead of dragging him outside (like iwa does) tsumu will come over to his house, order pizza and put a random episode of friends or gilmore girls and sit silently with him and iwa it will be more than enough for iwa.

i feel like this is getting too out of the canon storyline and sounds more like an au but idk

one time iwa said he wanted to try dying his hair and they did it using grocery store hair supplies and at the end it looked so horrible that they both laughed until their eyes watered and the next day they went out to buy brown hair dye to fix it. then atsumu messed something up and the dye didn't work, iwa decided to get a buzzcut..

one time they sent a selfie to oikawa and he was.....not happy about it :D

iwa teaches atsumu how to cook some basic meals and atsumu tries to show off to samu with them

the first time iwa remembered atsumu's birthday and got him a little present atsumu cried and then said a bug got into his eye

they make fun of each other's choices of men

they go to gym together and atsumu always listens to music as he works out so one day iwa asked him to share a link to his gym playlist and it was just full of anime opening and some female kpop bands

i think this is all i have. its like 1.30 am rn so i think i'll go to sleep. hope you like these xx

oh my god yess yesssss yess YESSS !!!! i am YELLING !!!!!!! loveeeeeeeee all of this oh my god. gym buds atsuiwa is so good. iwaizumi teaching atsumu to cook (osamu is deeply offended that atsumu didn't ask him). atsumu forcing iwaizumi to watch romcoms and tv shows of the like (oikawa is deeply offended bc iwa refuses to watch telenovelas with him, but he'll watch friends with atsumu miya).

you're also so right that they literally know about each other's worst fears but atsumu would not be able to tell you what "aoba johsai" is if a gun was put to his head. iwaizumi could tell you the worst memory of atsumu's life but absolutely could not tell you what his favorite animal is.

like, atsumu: yeah i know iwaizumi best out of the whole national team we go to the gym together all the time

kageyama: what middle school did he go to then.

atsumu: ....

hinata: kageyama you went to the same middle school, that's cheating. atsumu, he went to kitagawa daiichi btw

atsumu: i'm quitting this team

and you have the way iwaizumi takes cares of atsumu vs oikawa so right tbh, like oikawa can get the tough love yell at rant kinda thing going on, but atsumu gets a more subtle kind of care. so true. man. i'm obsessed w all of this THANK YOU

#ask #atsumu miya #hajime iwaizumi #ALSO THE HAIR DYE STORY. SO GOOD.

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smollobsession · 2 months

Text

25.3.

I'm 40. damn bro.

I finished Mark's book about not giving a fuck and it was really good.

there was a part about death that i found most intriguing, saying that if death is inevitable you might as well live until it comes. which is true and something i've been struggling with since my mom died.

Idk now if I said it in the last post but I also finished Dan's book and it was so helpful, I really wish I could force my teens to read it. (lovingly)

i'm now listening to "because internet" which is a fun linguistic study of internet language.

today i finally made crepes on the crepe maker E gave me ages ago. depression had a hold on me so i couldn't try it for ages but finally i'm there! i need to buy milk and mineral water for good pancakes but the experiment was a success!

in pogo news, I did groudon and kyogre raids and ... got nothing special :D but raiding was fun :D annoying tho that it's obvious you just can't have certain pokemon on certain levels. i played with my secondary, much lower account, and it just wouldn't let me catch groudon, even tho i won 3 raids for it. boo.

This weekend was Intense.

On friday i had my korean lesson and then met up with F for Zone of Interest. It was a great movie, I was immersed in it to the point that I kinda forgot it wasn't present. I also couldn't help but draw parallels to gaza but apparently I'm not allowed to talk about that.

Satuday was raid day and then Sunday I went to the protest. This time I got a flag and I made it all the way to the end of the protest! (minus the dancing, i went home for that :D ) it was ok despite my horrific anxiety making my back hurt and some details I didn't like (a guy spilled a bag of flour to prove some point but like... why are you spilling food while pointing out people are staving pls.) it was quite interesting how I spent most of the day today trying to see myself in pics and vids of the protest and only found ONE pic. soothes my anxiety a little, knowing i'm invisible :D

i've been following exercises from here and i've been increasing the number and length, i'm pleased! My flat is currently fairly clean and things are mostly in their place. yay mental health? and on the note of mental health i'm working on my fic again slowly too.

I did end up buying all the currently published Mo Dao Zu Shi comics :D which is 5 :D oh well! I'm also going to get a in person local Korean teacher. It'll cost a bit but it's fine I hope. Meanwhile I tested spotify and i don't like it. the organization is sadly a mess. the main feature i miss is the ability to see all songs by an artist. without that, their whole app is useless to me. I watched cooking crush and it's a really good show, I recommend it to all my friends now :D even tho the asian parent thing... it's not for me. i'm too chill toward my family even for my culture.

I got tickets for a musical in april, which i'll see with a student. (and another student is in the musical!)

had some good talks with my therapist, mainly about whether or not i care about being fat. i combined this with a chapter from mark's book, and it's quite simple i think. do i care? somewhat. certainly some mobility is not as it should be and i def want to fix that part. but a lot of my feelings about my own body are from outside. and he talks about how wanting to be something isn't the same as wanting to do the work for it, and that's basically it. would i like to be skinny? sure. am i willing to do the work for it? ... not? really? at least not now.

anyway exams are approaching, the end of this career is approaching. i'm chewing on that but so far i haven't reached anything specific. i need to write an email to the company i'm gonna ask for help, so this is my reminder to do that tomorrow :D

happy skz day :D my babies are 6! <3

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twslug · 10 months

Text

gonna answer all the q's of that one post i rbed like two days ago or something, answers below break if u gaf (really not groundbreaking info)

answers start here:

that i don't have to do a lot of things (both academically and in my personal life) that i don't want to do but pressure myself to do anyway. a lot of things really and truly Do Not matter

isolating myself due to anxiety or aimless frustration that i don't have an outlet for,,, big fan of Being locked in a room for hours

fav self care is skin care/workout and good music, i'm listening to my girly pop playlist post-workout (current song is toxic by nico rosberg aka britney bitch, so just envision these mentally ill answers with fergie and britney and katy perry and rihanna in the background)

most vivid memory is definitely not a visual memory, i've got some memory loss so i don't remember much of anything about my life. HOWEVER i have an echoic memory, so i really latch onto peoples' voices. i looove f1 with all the different accents and languages (lowkey linguistics hpfx) so i can have drivers narrating my thoughts. charles's voice is super imprinted on my brain because he has a very unique (imo) speech cadence and choice of wording in english, same for max (both verstappen and fewtrell), lando, and other random celebrities or youtubers or irls or characters etc etc.

would like to recieve some emotional/social support, was kind of pushed to the side because my brother is more extroverted, better at school, had asthma and ocd and several food allergies, but i was left to my own devices because i was much quieter and in the background.

have always wanted to be able to take academics into my own hands, as per the last answer, i am very quiet irl and have a hard time asking for help so i spend a lot of schooling teaching myself, so i've mastered the ability to put my head down and succeed by myself but at what cost yknow, i cant even speak to professors or other students

apathy. chronic, neverending, borderline infectious apathy. im very stubborn so if my brain has become apathetic about something then you will never get me to care about it, even if i myself want to

rly gets to me when people are mean to people i like, for an f1 example, idk i like a lot of the drivers but seeing people be blatantly mean to them (criticism and affectionate jabs are Fine) really makes me feel upset and/or almost ill, i get rly anxious for some reason like i'm the one being insulted

no i don't cry. not really (back to the playlist, family ties by baby keem just came on TURN THIS SHIT UUUPPP) anyway i dont really cry, lots of apathy, forced to be the quiet kid etc etc

have done lots of improvement on my body image and having confidence in what i say/believe, esecially in a family setting, lots of my problems are from childhood and being overly quiet/shy, so i rly struggle(d) with speaking my mind but now Nobody has anything on me, my moms dad was a county sheriff and i openly rip on cops in front of her like fuccckkk off u made me like this

was very mentally ill at the time (was also during covid, so i was really mentally unwell), and they had their own problems, ended up having a rly toxic relationship. neither of us had redeeming qualities, said some things we shouldn't have, like mutual punching bags

wish i could connect to my new roommates for this upcoming college/university semester, again: very bad at talking to people, maybe it will be better when we all live together (copium)

POLITICS TIME: i get irrationally angry at people who know nothing about the US south, i live here and it pisses me off when most political "hot takes" about american southern conservatism are boiled down to classism and/or racism, drives me fucking insane

i only like affectionate teasing if i know you rly well or the jab isnt something im insecure about, but im a bit of a hypocrite because i playfully insult people all the time, good rule of thumb i follow is just never go for appearance, all makes u look like a dick

prefer to be numb, because even though its one of the worst things to ever happen to my Cranium, i have a really easy time letting things go and not being upset over things i should probably be upset about. its kind of peaceful when u come to terms with it

talent ive overlooked/lost is ,,,,,,, i actually dont know, i think ive honed the things im really good at, i was really good at being a stage manager in school theatre (was assistant director and stage manager for les mis in 10th grade, bitches love my organizational skills), maybe i pick that up again somewhere

call me seb vettel the way i really liked dark blue in the but switched to loving bright bright #ff0000 red, like the brightest u can get... good shit... Also british racing green forever and always

my stuffed animals :-) no harm in keeping them, i suppose

well this ones easy because i dont like talking about infodumping about the innerworkings of my Psyche but here we are, i feel a bit bothersome, hence this entire post being hidden under a page break ..

LAST ONE (current song playing is dancing in the moonlight by king harvest, for those of u following along athome), i believe people think im much kinder than i think i am. if that makes sense. i know the things ive said to other people, about other people, about myself, etc, and i just feel this kind of imposter syndrome whenever people say they think im rly kind or fun to be around because i know deep down i am miserable and evil and nasty... And dont even hit me w that "bad people dont care that theyre bad so u caring makes u not bad" no no no, thats the thing, i dont care . i am Evil... ebil,,,,,, Deomn evil

#SORRY FOR TALKING SO MUCH #twslug.txt #okay goodnight to everyone who read Any of this :-)#and to the rest of u... gn i guess.... wtvr #not f1

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after-nine-at-the-oasis · 1 year

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Oop that's a lot of papers!

And now there's fire ಠ⁠_⁠ಠ

Uh oh xd that does not seem good

LOL death and taxes xDD yep

OOPE OH NO DANG

Aww poor Athena :((( that sucks </333

OOOPE 👀 the drama

I mean it makes sense to suspect but I wouldn't suspect too much

OOOOPE HE'S GONE O.O

THAT'S NOT HIM :OOOO

Wild o.o

This one's gonna be a crazy one xD

That's the last of my last thoughts, now it's time for the. . .

REVIEW

I loved this episode! I thought it was great :D. The storylines fit together, and with the theme, really well :D. And since it was performance review, everyone got at least as bit :D. What a slay honestly :)). The calls were great too! Were there calls? Anyway XD. I loved all the storylines, I thought they were great :)). And AAAHHHH Ravi's back :DDD!!! Yayyy 🥰🥰!! Looks like he really needs the 118, and he may struggle a bit, but I'm just glad he's come back to us :)). I missed him <3. And I think everybody's performance reviews were pretty accurate :)!

By the way, everything from "the calls" onward is, once again, the day of the next episode xD. If "were there calls" didn't make that clear lol (or that there were at least a few days if not the whole week lol). Listen, it was show week, give me a break XD (literally no one is forcing me to do it earlier). And also I can do what I want lol.

Now it's time for the individual parts!

Ravi :DD! Like I said, I'm really glad to have him back 🥰🥰. I'm so sorry for what he went through though :((( 😭😭. He didn't deserve that <3. And like I said, I really think he needs this - he'll benefit from being back at the 118, I'm pretty darn sure :). They're his family ❤️. If he has to heal (which he does lol) this is the place for him to do it :'). It better all work out though lol - we're keeping him this time <333. Anyway, even if it's not his calling, he was great at his job :D. I love him 🥰.

Okay I had some stuff to do so now I have like an hour while doing something else soo the rest of these will be short xD.

Maddie! We didn't see much of her this episode, but she was great 🥰. And the SINGINGGGG :DDDD. Lovely :'DDDD. Her voice is amazing <33. The same week as Grace, too :D!! That call was so sweet :')). And I'm happy for that kid, I hope he did well!!!! I'm sure he did :D 🥰. And the scene with Jee, AAAAHHHHHHHH 🥰🥰🥰🥰😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️😍😍😍🤩🤩. I love them :'))). Anyway, she was great at her job, as always :D. I love her 🥰.

Athena! We didn't see her much this episode, but she was great :)). She was great at her job :))! I love her 🥰🥰🥰. I might add more later when I remember what she was doing this episode lol. I'm nervous for next episode though o.o. But yeah, she slays :DD.

Buck! He was great this episode :)). I don't remember much about him this episode, but I will say BUDDIEEEE!!!! PLEASE. We need it xD. Anyway, to be fair sir you did just die recently xD. But, yeah :). He was great at his job! I love them 🥰🥰.

Hen! Girl is going through it for real xD. But she's trying her best <3. I hope that dinner went well :)). And I'm glad she decided to stop trying to perform as much for him - no offense to him, but he's not worth it. I don't think they should be hostile xD, but they're inviting him into their house lol. I hope it gets a bit better though :)). Anyway, OBVIOUSLY she slays 🥰🥰. With the performance review I mean lol. So, clearly, she was amazing at her job 🥰🥰. I love her so much :DD ❤️.

Bobby! Man was going through it this episode too XDD. But in a much more lighthearted way LOL xD. He did finally get the performance review though :')) :DD. Anyway, I love how scheming with Chimney lol XD. I mean, more like about Chimney xD. But I'm glad it worked out :). Anyway! He was great at his job this episode :DD. I love him 🥰🥰🥰.

Chimney! He was so great this episode :D. I loved seeing him be in charge - even if he doesn't like it, he's great at it :). He deserves it 🥰. And I hope it helped him :')). Even if the main idea was (ooh segue) to get Ravi back lol. Which I'm SO GLAD he did :'DDD. Really proud of him 🥰🥰. And I'm so glad he helped that recruit :D. He'll be a great 911 operator :)). I'm so happy for him 🥰🥰. Anyway, yeah :D, back to Chimney lol. He was great at his job this episode :)). I love him ❤️❤️🥰.

Eddie! DATE BUUUUUCK!!! Anyway, he was great this episode :)). I still need to watch the beginning, I meant to do it while writing this but I was busy lol. Anyway! I'll add more later lol. I love him 🥰🥰❤️. He better not date that girl though lol.

Overall, I really enjoyed this episode! I loved all the storylines :D. And I'm so glad we have Ravi back!! Anyway, we got a nice even focus this episode :)). The next episode looks wild o.o. But yeah, I thought everything form this episode fit really well :)).

So yeah! I loved this episode, I thought it was really great. I'm excited for the next one! This has been my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 6, Episode 14: Performance Anxiety

It was great! The next episode looks pretty crazy. I'm a bit nervous, but excited. I'll be back next week for my review of. . .

9-1-1, Season 6, Episode 14: Death and Taxes

See you next week!

#9-1-1 #911 #911 on fox #911onfox #gayfirefightershow #oasis's 9-1-1 chatter #loved it!! the next episode's just starting so yeah lol I'll come back with more later but 10/10 :))#I love you all :DDD ❤️❤️❤️❤️!!!#byeeee :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰 <333!!!!

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