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#felt like reject leftovers my whole life
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“ cuddle–bugs. „
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(( REQUEST PART THREE ))
mcu!peter parker x reader.
!!! read part one | part two | part four | part five here !!!
IN WHICH — you fell asleep on your best friend during movie night and the avengers won’t let you live it down. meanwhile, peter plans to ask you out, but an old friend of yours gets in the way :0
✨masterlist.✨
3.2k.
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It felt good for you to finally get some sleep. It seemed like sleeping cuddled next to Peter was the perfect remedy for your sudden insomnia. You wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Waking up in his arms, his biceps snug around you; his quiet snores that still sang through your thoughts. Their melody, and the leftover fumes of his cologne, kept you in a peppy mood. That, and Harley’s holiday visit.
You hadn’t seen Harley in what felt like a year, despite how it had only been a few months. Still, as much as seeing your friend got you excited, the whole Peter–debacle kept you in a tizzy.
Tony had asked you to help circuit a drone prototype in his lab, which gave you a great opportunity to dwell on the fact that Peter definitely saw the framed photo Sam took of the two of you. And read the sticky note. The thought still made your heart rate spike a little, but you couldn’t decipher what it was stemming from.
Part of this made you feel giddy. It gave you a chance to open the bottled up feelings you’ve been rejecting for Peter, and really, truly, encourage them. The other part, however, made you incredibly nervous. Anxious, even. He could react in a way that would completely redefine the long–term friendship that you two had.
His response could either be something equally as smitten, or something that’d haunt you for the rest of your life. It was conflicting, but also you knew that at a certain point, you wouldn’t be able to hide from your feelings anymore. Peter would inevitably find out. You just hoped that it wouldn’t ruin the way he looked at you.
While re–wiring the drone’s hardware, you began to spiral down the dark abyss of how badly this could end. He wouldn’t necessarily get angry with you. Peter Parker didn’t have an angered bone in his body; but this could very well, quite possibly, most definitely, create an incredibly uncomfortable atmosphere in your dynamic.
Fuck.
You wished he’d react the same way he did when you both found out you were superheroes, or when you’d both been recruited to be part of the Avengers. Peter had been your best friend for as long as you could remember. Would these feelings really change that much of it?
“There you are!” Peter’s voice from the doorframe disrupted your thoughts. You immediately felt the way your heart leapt in your chest.
You did hope that things wouldn’t change because of a dumb crush. However, you’d be lying if you said it didn’t feel like things with the two of you were changing already.
Quickly, you glanced over your shoulder, careful not to distract your work. The way Peter walked over to you seemed radiant; he was glowing, and it wasn’t just because he looked fresh out of the shower. He smiled at you, toothy and spritely. The way it suited his energy was contagious, and spread a small grin right to your lips. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He added, prancing up beside you.
Your focus went back to the drone, mostly because you wanted to hide from the inevitable blush that coated your complexion. “Oh yeah?” You mused, cheeky. “How come?”
Peter leaned his back against the desk you were working at. He kept a comfortable distance from you, but a bit less than usual. You only noticed because his body heat nearly overloaded your system. You cleared the invisible tickle from your throat, feeling the urge to try and hide what felt like vulnerability.
“I wanted to show you my new lockscreen.” His tone outlined his smile audibly. Peter excitedly showed you the addition to his phone, as though he’d been rehearsing it. You felt the way your eyes widened and your face flush at the photo. The same photo that was framed at your bedside. “Sam sent it to me.” He added the detail once you saw it.
Your eyes met. You could feel the playful demeanor that Peter had been camouflaging. He knew exactly what he was doing, and by the dorky expression on his face, you knew that your reaction was exactly what he’d been hoping for.
Dropping the hardware tools beside the drone, you used slow movements. You needed to get his phone. The power he had with that photo was too much for him, and it was already getting to his head. Your hand plunged towards the device, but Peter dodged your reach like he was one step ahead of you. He was always one step ahead of you.
“Peter Benjamin Parker.” You fought back your smile by trying to use a disciplinary tone, but your laughter won the battle. He took paces backwards, and you followed his movement. “Give me your cell phone!”
He laughed, raising a brow. “You want my phone?” He was playing coy, teasingly. “You’re just jealous of my lockscreen.” You two traveled around the large laboratory, him still walking backwards like it was nothing. “I could just AirDrop it to you, if you want it so bad–”
Leaping forward, he dodged you again. He was having too much fun with this, waving his phone in front of your face like a chew toy. “You’re so evil.” Your playful glare was one of Peter’s favorite looks of yours. He took it in like he was taking a picture of it.
His brow arched again, mocking you. “Am I really?” He bantered. You had to admit: as stubborn as you could be, Peter’s playful spirit was something you always enjoyed. And the banter was absolutely riveting to partake in.
Peter’s laughter filled the room as you started to chase him. He was skilled walking backwards, but running was an entirely different story. The two of you practically chased your tails around each other; Peter holding his phone high above you, and you eagerly sprinting and jumping up to try and grasp it.
In the thick of the moment, you’d finally caught up to him. Body to body. Chest to chest. His arm was still extended to the ceiling, phone held to the sky, but his focus was completely captured by you. Your eye contact was thick, and your little fits of giggles halted to a stop at the rousing tension.
Damp strands of curls fell in front of his face as he studied you, eyes tracing features of your face that he’d already memorized. The scent of his shower would’ve sent your head in a pother, if not for the feeling of your bodies melding together. You could feel his heart racing through the mere fabrics of your shirts; you were certain he felt the speedy rhythm of yours, too.
His arm slowly lowered back to his side, but you both could care less about his lockscreen right now. You kept your eyes tied to his, keeping up with the silent conversation you were having. Peter’s mouth opened, dry as he scrambled to find his words. “Y/N..” His voice was soft, gentle. “I need to ask you something.”
Curious and confused, you tilted your head a little. “Ask me what–?”
“Y/N!” You heard your name called from the doorframe. Both you and Peter shifted your focus to meet the interruption, finding Harley waiting impatiently. “C’mon! I’ve got something to show you.” How inconvenient.
A look of apology shadowed your face when you looked back up at Peter. “Can you ask me later?” It was the last thing you wanted to ask, but you couldn’t keep Harley waiting; the subtle tapping of his foot caused guilt to nag at your focus.
Both you and Peter peeled away from each other, slowly. It felt unnatural, especially considering that neither of you had the strength to break eye contact.
Peter forced a smile, though you could tell there was disappointment behind it. “Yeah! Yeah. Go.” He waved at Harley, noticing the small glare that accompanied the mirrored action back. “I’ll catch you later.”
He watched you smile at him before running off with Harley. That was how things had been since he’d returned from school.
Harley was always the first to bid for your attention, or drag you out of a room when you and Peter found yourselves alone in it. He was the ultimate cockblock, and a jealous one at that.
Peter had enough trust in you and your friendship to know that there was no competition for his spot as your best friend. However, now his hat was in the ring for a new title: your boyfriend.
Harley could one–up him there.
Peter still had hope after his talk with Sam in the kitchen yesterday morning. He finally felt the courage he needed to ask you out. To ask if you felt the same way. But Harley didn’t make his conquest any easier. In fact, he’d done nothing but get in his way. It was almost like Harley knew what Peter was trying to do.
Last night was Sam’s pick for team movie night. Of course, Sam chose a festive rom–com; he chose The Holiday, and sent Peter a little wink as he cued up the movie. This was an opportunity, and Peter wasn’t going to take it for granted. However, Harley wasn’t going to let Peter have it that easy, either.
As Peter sat beside you, Harley sat on the other side of you, arm draped over the back of the couch. Right where Peter wanted his to be. He noticed how stiff you were, and the way you awkwardly kicked your feet as the movie played.
The memory played through Peter’s head all day, especially while this question burned in his throat. He’d never been so eager to ask you something; so compelled to know the response you’d give him.
Part of him was scared. Just a small part of him. He knew it was a gamble to try and enhance your relationship. You’d either reciprocate the emotions he had for you, or the friendship would go through a little awkward fit. Either way, Peter knew it was a growing experience. He was willing to risk it if it meant getting to spend time with you romantically.
Harley just seemed to anticipate every chance you and Peter caught a moment alone.
Peter wasn’t planning to give up just yet.
And neither were you.
You did enjoy your time with Harley, but it felt like he was pushing it a little. Occasionally, you had the habit of cluelessness, but even now, the inkling that Harley was getting at something felt stronger than ever.
“C’mon, Keener.” You pressed him, trying to get the boy to crack. “It’s like you’re holding me hostage here.” For the past hour, you’d been trying to leave to go find Peter. Your hands went up in defense when Harley shot a look of surprise at you. “Don’t get me wrong, I’ve missed you too, but I’ve–”
That’s when it hit you. Harley was getting at something. Something big. The look he shot at you was overwhelming. You couldn’t quite grasp what he was trying to express to you, but you could tell that he was about to tell you.
He took a breath, slicing through the deafening quiet. “Y/N, I need to ask you something.” His tone was stern, precise. He’d been practicing this, you were sure of it.
Your posture straightened out. From how it sounded, this seemed really serious. Your whole demeanor shifted, stilled. “Yeah, anything.” The last thing you wanted was for Harley to feel like he couldn’t tell you something.
Harley stared into your eyes, grounding you for a moment. You could feel just how much you were anticipating the question, and just how slowly the world spun before he spat out the words. It reminded you of how Peter had something to ask you, too. You wondered just how serious of a question Peter’s was–
“Would you go out with me? Li–like on a date?”
You froze. A date? A date with Harley?
It felt wrong for your thoughts to be consumed by anybody else in this moment, yet they were. Shoulders slumping, you gave him a sympathetic smile. “Harley, I’m flattered, but I—”
He interrupted you. “You have feelings for someone else?” His question came out like a scoff, almost like he was trying to beat you at answering him. “Parker, right?”
And in that moment, when your heart swelled and your cheeks flushed, you finally accepted it. Your posture settled a little, and the breath you’d been holding for the past few days finally released itself. “Yeah.. Yeah, I do.” Your lips curved sympathetically, not wanting to put salt in Harley’s wound. “Y’know, I still appreciate you though, right?”
Harley smiled at you, “Yeah, yeah, whatever..” He laughed quietly. “Now, go find your love–bug boyfriend. I’m sure he’s dying to see you.”
With a grin on your face, and a bittersweet farewell to Harley, you went on your way to find Peter. You knew that rejecting Harley shouldn’t have been as inspiring to you as it ended up being. Now more that ever, you felt determined to ask Peter out. Whether he was planning to ask you or you ask him, you weren’t going to give up until you had a date set on the calendar.
Turning the hallway corner, you found yourself rounding to the kitchen, following the faint sound of Peter’s voice. Waltzing with his words was the sound of Sam’s too, conversing with your best friend. You paused in your tracks, listening in on their conversation til you had a good time to intervene.
Tiny klanks and clinks of spoon on mug came from further away, muffled under Sam as he spoke, “You going to the holiday party tomorrow night?” He asked, “I heard there’s gonna be mistletoe.” You could hear the way his voice shaped into his mug as he took a loud sip of his drink, “You should take Y/N and go find it.”
Heat flooded your face at how forward Sam was, and at the idea of kissing Peter. It was thrilling to think that in just twenty–four hours, you could be kissing Peter Parker. You wouldn’t have to avoid him anymore, you could freely sit with him and express your feelings–
A sigh could be heard from closer than anticipated. A sigh that sounded dejected, conflicted. Rejecting. Ouch. You slowly crept around the corner, eying Peter’s back as he replied to Sam.
“I’m not gonna do that. I can’t.” Peter seemed to hesitate, but that didn’t take away from how much it hurt. “I just don’t want..”
“You don’t want to kiss me?” You found your place to interject, now standing in view of Sam and Peter’s back.
As Peter turned to look at you, it didn’t take much to notice the way his heart was in his throat. His whole body was stiff with regret, and his hands held the air in front of him like there was something to fix. But there wasn’t; you had your answer.
Peter Parker didn’t love you like that.
“Y/N, I–” Even as he took steps towards you, it felt like he only got further away from you. You put space between the two of you, a hand coming out to emphasize the physical boundary you needed.
You shut your eyes for a second, taking a breather. Keeping your composure was your main focus. “No, no. It’s fine.” You tried to keep earnesty and understanding in your tone. “But you don’t have to make kissing your best friend seem like such a chore.” You snapped a bit more intensely than you’d intended, but you needed to. You had to leave.
One more breath and you left, unable to look Peter in the eye again before you made your way to your room. You hated how the look on his face stuck in your brain like some traumatic flashback. The look in his eyes when he saw you was almost as hurt as you were. It didn’t make sense.
Making your way into your room, a knock interrupted your peace of mind. Holding off on processing your rejection, you turned and met eyes with Sam. You didn’t know whether it was a welcomed company or something you wanted to turn away.
Before you could open your mouth, Sam spoke up.
“I know what happened back there wasn’t.. The best, but I swear it was–”
“Sam.” The words came out shorter than you were used to. “If you’re here to talk to me about that, I don’t want to hear it.”
It sucked. You hated the feeling of being rejected. It also felt so much heavier because you’d already been avoiding Peter, you’d already been missing his company; now, you felt like you had more reason to steer clear of him. You hated it. You hated how much it hurt you.
Shaking his head, Sam got on task. “Right, okay.” His tone became less sympathetic, but his expression still said everything that his words didn’t. “Buck and I were assigned to stakeout tomorrow, but our backup fell through. What Parker and I were talking about in the kitchen was if you and him could stakeout and then Buck and I could back–up for you two.”
You blinked a few times. He was really asking you to do that? To sit in a car with Peter after he’d just ripped your heart out?
After thinking about it like that, you fully realized that Peter was oblivious to your heartbreak. He didn’t know he’d rejected you, and he was still your best friend. Maybe this was a sign, and something the two of you needed to do.
Sighing, you held back an eye roll. “Fine. I could do that.” You placed your hands on your hips, raising a brow at Sam. “Did Peter agree to it?”
“Cuddle–bug said that as long as you were okay with it, he’d be more than happy to.”
Hearing the nickname lodged a dagger in a spot you didn’t think was reachable. God, it hurt. It might get worse with this mission, but you also knew that you’d never forgive yourself if you’d fully pushed Peter away.
“Okay. Then tell him to meet me in the garage tomorrow morning.”
Sam seemed to respect the boundary, and let you be after you’d given him the request. You didn’t have the stomach to see Peter before the stakeout, and you knew you’d have to prepare yourself quite a bit before you’d have to spend god knows how long with him tomorrow. Alone.
God knows how long you’d have to spend with him alone, in a car, doing nothing.
You were planning to kill Sam when you got back, especially if this was some kind of ruse to set up you and your best friend.
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tag–list : @helen-on-earth @ellebutnotwoods @luvherfairy @agaybandgeek @lazy4teen @hufflepuff-n-fluff @petersparkerss @tommysfrog @zelzablues @mavex @thatmarvelchick19 @parkersmaterialgirl @justtuesdays @coralineyouareinterribledanger
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sombersynth · 1 year
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STEDDIE FANFICTION REC MASTERPOST PT. 4
We Should Just Kiss Like Real People Do by OonionChiver, 88.4 k, explicit ‘Please?’ Eddie stops him again, this time by holding his face. Steve feels Eddie’s thumb moving over his cheek, he feels the cool metal of his rings. He feels everything except what he needs. ‘I’ve never loved anything the way I love you, Steve Harrington,’ Eddie says, dark brown eyes moving between Steve’s own. ‘This isn’t the moment, sweetheart.’ It’s not a rejection, but it’s not a kiss. Steve quietly cries, insides cut up on the broken shards of his stupid little heart and Eddie holds him, he holds him all night until they fall asleep together.
A Sign of The Morning by ToEdenandBackAgain, 86.8 k, mature Vecna is dead. The Upside Down is cut off from Hawkins yet again. Steve is trying to go back to normal, whatever that is. He's also trying to figure out exactly how Eddie Munson has managed to fit so easily into his life.
Sub-Culture by Pamviolet, 60.7 k, teens and up “Is he whining about Eddie being mean to him again?” Robin is leaning in the doorway, eating a leftover slice that’s probably cold by now. “You talk about him more than you talk about girls, Steve, it’s getting concerning. Anyone would think you had a crush.” Or, steve is pretty convinced eddie now hates him. turns out eddie has the opposite problem.
Put To Death, Therefore, Whatever Belongs to Your Earthly Nature by Judasofsuburbia, 8.5 k, explicit Preacher's Son! Steve Harrington is Eddie Munson's newest obsession. Steve thinks God has some sick jokes.
Falling Off The Edge Of The World by Coeurdeleo92, 7.3 k, explicit Steve is rapidly discovering that Eddie Munson has zero concept of personal space. He isn’t exactly complaining though.
The Lathe by Pamviolet, 82.5 k, Mature "This time, do it right. This time Eddie won’t bleed out in his arms, in anyone’s arms. This time, Steve will do it right." — or, steve relives the day they try to kill vecna over and over, and eddie just can't seem to stop dying. steve finds this totally unacceptable.
Hold Me Now, I Need Relief by ToEdenandBackAgain, 25.8 k, mature It’s probably going to go down in history as the worst kiss Steve Harrington ever got, but Eddie doesn’t give a fuck. He isn’t going to get another chance so he’s working with what he’s got. It’s less of a kiss, and more of a slide of lips, wet with blood and tears but he feels Harrington’s grip tighten on the back of his shirt and he pulls back. He reaches up with the hand he can still feel and pushes back a strand of hair that had fallen in Steve’s face, smearing blood along his temple as he does.
“Sorry. Couldn’t die without knowing what that felt like.”
To A World Where Madness Craves, by Judasofsuburbia, 7.1 k, explicit Steve decides to go back into the Upside Down to look for Eddie two days after his death. He doesn't find Eddie where they left his body. Instead, he finds something much scarier
The Most Remarkable Thing About You Standing in the Doorway Is That It’s You by Greatunironic, 34.9 k, explicit Sixteen years after the world didn't end for the last time, Max Mayfield showed up on Steve’s doorstep and said, “You gonna walk me down the aisle in May or what?” Or, it’s 2002 and Steve Harrington attends a wedding, a funeral, and a birth.
Are You Flagging? by Soidade, 40.9 k, explicit “Look, I’m just asking, okay? Not– I don't mean anything by it. But, uh.” His eyes darted back and forth, then he leaned in close to Steve. Steve had gotten used to that, kind of. The guy had no concept of personal space. “Are you flagging?” Eddie finally finished. Steve shook his head slowly, eyes narrowed. He had no idea what that meant. He had no answer. “What?” Eddie leaned away from Steve, facing forward again and nodding. “Okay, got it. That answers my question. Carry on.”
Whole Lotta Love by Stereobone, 9.6 k, explicit Steve scoffs. "I think if I was dating someone, Robin, I would be the first to know about it." "Would you, though?" Robin says.
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anotherghoul666 · 1 year
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Ask game! I'm being nosey, you can pick and choose if this is too many! 💙💙💙
07: What did you last eat?
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
56: How many people have you fist fought?
57: Do you believe in true love?
Please, you can be as nosey as you want to be with me! ❤️
07: What did you last eat? Some christmas dinner leftovers from my life partner's family! There was a sort of pastry crown filled with veggies, deviled eggs, meatballs in a tomato sauce, little sausages in a garlic sauce, and rolled sandwiches :) I'm also 2.5 water bottles in out of my 4 for the day! (edit: 3 by the time I'm done writing this, woot!)
17: Ever made out in the bathroom? Oh sure! When I was a teen we'd sneak off to the gym locker room and bathrooms to make out cause we had nowhere else to go do that in XD One of the reasons me and my partner rent in our current place is cause the bathroom is huge and there's a massive corner bath in there (don't ask me how we got so lucky, we signed pre-pandemic and we're never leaving until we get a house) so that's a regular play space for us which includes making out hahaha. I've not done the whole "so overtaken by passion we gota stumble in a public bathroom stall in the club and have it right there" cliché tho XD
23: Do you have piercings? How many? I have 3 in my right ear. I got he first two at the same time at 15, it went horribly wrong, I got the third one maybe a year later to see if I could change my healing methods and have an easier time, it went even more horribly wrong and re-infected the first two, I fucking managed to heal them with the help of my professionals but like, I learned my lesson. My body hates the process of piercings and healing them. Probably some sensitivity or allergy since I am allergic to half of the world basically. I've found my body heals tattoos very well instead so that's the route I took!
56: How many people have you fist fought? So I'll assume this is a question about legit fights and not rough body play / impact? XD I have gotten beat up before, but I've never punched someone or laid a hand on someone non-consensually. I'll take hits and get someone else to take care of the attacker, ideally someone that's legally permitted to do that and paid for it, before I'd ever lift a hand to punch. Not in my nature.
57: Do you believe in true love? This ties in with an earlier question I got about soulmates somewhat but, what does "true" mean in that context. People use that expression to mean "the one true person you'll have true love with in your life" as opposed to everyone else you had feelings for before, and I reject that thought. I believe in love. I believe in abundance and in the plenty. I believe feelings are true because they are felt, emotions are valid because they exist, and so every spike and shred and blip of love I've ever felt has been true for me in that moment and for the whole universe because I am part of it and I am real. Love is true because it is in that moment and if in the moment after it's withered or tempered or false or painful it was still true when it bloomed.
Thank you Mibo those were wonderful!! :D
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philly-malan-blog · 7 months
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About Me
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A couple of days ago while sitting down in my North Philly apartment bored and scrolling through FoodTok (food TikTok), I began to crave fried plantains, so I decided to walk over to my corner store. Once there I dug through the pile of plantains to find the one that was the mushiest and smelled the sweetest. I got home and put on some songs from my childhood such as those from Marco Antonio Solis, and as I sang I sliced the plantains, fried them, and sat down, but it felt like my meal was missing something. I got up and looked into my fridge and saw there were leftover refried beans, fresh cheese (queso fresco), and cream (crema), that's it! I heated up my beans drizzled them with crema and sprinkled queso fresco and then I dipped my plantains. This mixture of sweet, creamy, and savory goodness was the perfect bite! That bite was warmth, I felt I was back in Guatemala.
I am Guatemalan-American and have lived in Philly my whole life, except for the couple of years I lived in La Union, Zacapa, Guatemala. Ever since coming back over a decade ago, I can't help but miss being there. I became so accustomed to being surrounded by my large family and the huge colorful forests, I miss the food and going to the forest to chop down trees (as permitted) to bring back wood so my grandma could fire up her brick oven ( she rejected the use of the gas oven she was gifted). I would just watch her cook in amazement for hours (and try to help). This is where my love for food began, and the way that bite before made me feel is what made me create this blog. I want to find places here to make me feel like I am home.
I try to find ways to feel connected and besides speaking Spanish, food has played an important role. I follow my grandma's tips and tricks such as when I pick plantains. I remember she would pick the mushy and sweet smelling ones, so I do too, she would fry them, so I do too, and then take them out with her bare hands and say: "One day you will be able to touch the heat like me", (I'm still not there), and she would serve refried beans, add queso fresco and crema, so I do too.
I go to Guatemalan shops, I use spices such as dried chiles and annatto, and I go out to Guatemalan restaurants to find those Guate flavors in Philly. This blog will serve as a way to connect my two worlds and explore ways in which Guatemala is present in Philly. Through this blog, I hope to show others what Chapinos and our cuisine can bring to the table (metaphorically and literally).
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The Storm after the Rainbow (20.11.22)
Yeah, I re-read the last article I wrote and I was right. It was really the most hopeful one of all. I haven’t written one for so long now I don’t know where to start. 
There was nothing much going on for the second half of September. I started TebbyAnd with b Kon Toch. It was a nice start and I felt like I was doing something again. Then it was Pchum Ben. 
Then when October started, everything just went to hell. Surprise! The Short Film Camp I was so hopeful about, I failed miserably. I also failed another volunteer opportunity in Istanbul. It was a wake-up call and hit on my face to remind me that not everything is sunshine and roses. 
It didn’t help that I had to plan trips for my co-workers to BKK-PUKET. I had to buy plane tickets and I hate that anxiety so much. The discussion went on and on for days and it was so draining. I didn’t gain anything from it besides anxiety about being blamed if I made any mistake. 
Another thing was, the 2 post-projects I worked on with my YSEALI mates got approved. it was a suicide mission for me to implement 2 projects at the same time. It did go well though. 
The whole of October was hell for me. I literally had no social life. I spent every weekend trying to finish the YSEALI AFP application and the Chevening application. I was so confident with YSEALI and even 3 alumni also said they do not have many comments on my essays. Chevening Scholarship was so new to me though. I had to join session after session to understand it. It was like planting without knowing it’d ever turn into fruit. I think I didn’t do well with Chevening. 
The whole time before I went to Thailand in early November was hell for me. It was just anxiety creeping. Before the trip was a shooting project for web series for an insurance company. It was 2 whole days of anxiety creeping up and being blamed by the client. 
My Thailand trip was 9 days long and I planned it long before. I still didn’t fully enjoy it as I still had leftover work and didn’t get to finish it. I also had to leave the 2 YSEALI projects behind. 
I thought the escape could make me feel better, but it did not. I just lost interest in my work so much. It didn’t help that I was invited by the US Embassy to join a special event when I was in Thailand and I had to reject it. Then coming back, I actually failed my YSEALI AFP and didn’t get to the interview round. I feel so gaslighted. My entire self-worth crumbled. I really don’t know what to do next. 
I haven’t been doing mentally well since October. It’s like I’m not even allowed to be sad or they call me a loser. I had to pretend it doesn’t matter and move on although how much I care about anything. I don’t know how to keep up with the rest of this year. I’m so tired physically and mentally. I really need to book a therapy session. 
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dzpenumbra · 2 years
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9/28/22
Okay, so basically today was this. Wake up. Grab a brush put on a little makeup. Browse social media for a bit. Instagram was the only thing interesting and not political. Called the urgent care and asked them if they were cool with walk-ins. Hopped in the shower. The second I got out of the shower, my music on my bluetooth speaker got taken over by a ringtone. My mom called. I was still in a towel. I hesitate for a minute, but I pick up. I tell her what's up and say I guess I don't really mind getting ready while on the phone, I just need to work through the conversation quick because I want to get to urgent care before they close. I have a skin thing that's been bugging me a lot and I've been putting off going for almost a year.
Within a few minutes, I call off going to the doctors. It was already like 4:30 or something, I didn't want to race to get there before 6. This nocturnal stuff makes groggy mornings so frantic and rushed. I'm tired of it. I lose so many options because of it, and my neurotic "I have to be perfectly lucid to drive" thing. I mean, why the fuck would I care about being alert while driving if one of my former best friend's sister died in a car crash on the same fucking road I live on? I wonder...
I brought up the ketosis thing from last night. How my lack of eating throughout the night is actually starving me, and it's probably a big reason why I'm not sleeping well too. Like a spiral, or a feedback loop or something. I asked for help thinking of good quick meals that require like 0 prep. I need food that isn't a responsibility to prepare. I need food that I don't go "I'm gonna have to slate out some time to throw that together". I need something that I grab from the cabinet or fridge and I'm fuckin done. I'm not picky. I eat fridge-cold leftovers all the time. I just haven't had bulk food that I can snack on lately, my menu went to shit real quick and I guess my whole rhythm got thrown off grocery/food prep-wise. I don't know why, probably sleep deprivation, stress, depression - combination of those.
She was suggesting things like pizza and throwing together a sandwich and stuff. I said I felt like that was too much prep for what I'm talking about. That I really just need something that isn't a project for emergency meals. Even soup can feel like a project at that point, like a time investment, like "I better find a video to watch while I do this" kinda thing. I was specifically looking for meals that do not have that kind of connotation. Quick, easy meals that aren't just a honey nut granola bar, because that's like all I have. Maybe I can add in cookies, or cereal. Maybe that will work. But milk expires, I really don't wanna all-in on an emergency meal that can expire quickly. I need something that's there when I need it, the way a diabetic would need insulin available when they need it. Because this is a medical problem, you know?
And I decided to google ketosis symptoms. That always goes well... I'm just gonna step away from that for a bit. I just wanted to see if my skin thing was connected to ketosis, it might be, but honestly, this has been a recurring problem for years, so whatever. It's not gonna kill me overnight.
So my honest rejection of her suggestions created a conflict. We butt heads quickly and I was just really not having it today. For the 10 billionth time. I tried to remind her of the parameters of what I needed help on, that I need something that isn't a chore, that isn't "cooking", that is just really easy and thrown together already. She just got hung up on my denial and started demanding that I show gratitude and appreciation. I really don't know how she doesn't hear what she sounds like. Let me say it directly. I said no to frozen pizza and PB+J suggestions because they involved "some cooking" to my Mom, the only person actively talking to me in my life, and she started yelling at me because I should be appreciative that I'm getting anything at all. What am I, in prison? Like... would they treat me worse than that in prison? I mean that tone, clearly I wouldn't get frozen pizza in prison, but like... "here's a random suggestion I found lying around and put 20 seconds worth of thought into. You should be grateful I gave you anything at all. Where's my 'thank you'?"
I should've just left there. I should've just gone, "you know what, I have to go to the doctors, so I really don't have time to either fight with you or mandatorily kiss your ass." Then I should have spent the entire second half - after she hung up on me... reconnected... left the conversation abruptly to get takeout with my dad... reconnected... fought for another like 3-4 hours... then hung up on me again - doing literally anything productive. Cleaning. Packing. Playing with the fucking cat. Drawing. Writing. Making music. Playing Session, which is a really fun skating simulator that I absolutely suck at because I'm playing on Hardcore mode like a fuckin boss and I'm starting to actually learn tricks! Fuck, I could've done an entire stream in the second half. And really should have. So many things I could've done with my life, gone because of these desperate, sad, pathetic attempts to win back people who are too proud to realize how gigantic of an asshole they're being.
Think about the irony of that. I think we all need to regularly think about how paradoxical that is. "I am too proud to admit I had done something wrong." "I am too proud to accept that I had made a mistake." How the fuck can you be aware of making a mistake, see it, acknowledge it, confirm its empirical presence, yep, flesh and blood, it's there... and then deny it. Then throw the blame onto the one who suffered from it. And demand that they apologize. How are so many people in my life doing this? How common is this? And please do take a minute to digest the paradox of being too proud to do something you would later be proud of. That others would be proud of. Being proud to do something self-serving, at the expense of others. Yikes.
Because of how toxic the interactions were, and how distant, disconnected and back-shelved the plans to help me move have been this week... I cancelled the plans I had with her to help me move. She was going to help me sort my shit and have the person who helps her clean her house come over and help vacuum. I thought it would be a nice way to share my moving, something very emotional and meaningful to me. It's being looked at like a fucking chore. Just like every one of these assholes. I talk to my old friend about brainstorming minecraft mod lists, which is supposed to be fun, supposed to be looked forward to. It's viewed as an intrusive chore that I should be doing myself for him. So many people in my life with this insanely negative, groaning, heavy sigh, dragging their feet shit about being involved in a loved one's life. Someone who wants to make good fucking memories with you. But all you see is "help the needy one", "feed the attention-starved one". Bitter. Mocking. Jaded. Emotionless. Cold. Almost spiteful. "You needy fucking bitch. Stop begging. No one ever helped ME when I was..."
I'm getting a little worked up about this, so I'm going to ramp it down. I was writing in a bit of a venomous tone and I just snipped two lines out of that just because if I'm gonna talk about pride here... I might as well write something I'm proud of. And I don't really like venting this much at the expense of others. I like moving forward. I like learning as much as I can about the situation, integrating lessons and continuing to walk. I haven't edited in a while, so I guess that means it's time for some change.
I called off help with moving. I'm not really sure where anything stands anymore, I just know that I clearly can't rely on my support system. But I only have to endure about a month and a half more of this.
I spent the rest of the night slowly trying to get buffalo mac and cheese into my knot of a stomach over the course of hours, then getting mildly high and playing Session for a few hours. Finally. And here I am. That was literally my entire day. No sketch. No streaming. No streaming brainstorming either. No music. No cleaning. No jewelry-making. Just fighting. And trying to emotionally recover. That's all.
So I'm gonna go and get even higher before I try to fall asleep. Because fuck my panic, I'm already in the gutter. What, is my panic gonna try to convince me a meteorite is gonna hit the planet? Well fucking bring it on, at least that won't be my fault. Actually, I'm sure some people might try to make it... never mind. I don't know, I feel oddly calm about the freakouts, which seems like improvement. I'm very cautious with smoking and very metered with how much I smoke at once, always leaning on the safe side. Now that I've experienced worse shit than that, like actual damaging shit that set me back half a week... freaking out about "maybe ghosts are real and maybe one is in my house, oooOOOooOOoo" kinda seems a bit silly.
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animeomegas · 3 years
Note
Imagine that Sasuke is having problems with his 'future alpha', he doesn't understand some dating methods and ends up 'reluctantly' going to ask Itachi's alpha.He just blushed saying 'I can't believe I'm doing this but I need some advice'.Itachi's alpha comes home late looking happy and Itachi holding his dog asking where he's been.
Anon: I think Sasuke would only start liking Itachi's alpha after they help him stand up to a bigger, stronger, more trained betas and/or Alphas. Because I don't see him as someone who might ask for help from anyone, and his brother's alpha somehow saw them bully him and push him around, so they tell him how to one up those annoying people. (Maybe buy him ice cream or something after). This young Sasuke vs Itachi's alpha thing should be a show, because I'd sell everything I own to watch it.
(Anon 1: This is a big brain idea, anon, thank you for your service 🤭 I changed it a little, how that's okay!)
(Anon 2: I think you're absolutely right that Itachi's alpha does something big for Sasuke when he's at a low point, and it ends up changing their relationship for the better in a lot of ways. I decided not to go with bullying though, because Sasuke seemed to fit this scenario moreso. Also, ahhh, I'm so happy you're liking this mini series!!!!! I'm having so much fun writing it and it fills me with joy that other people are enjoying it just as much!!!)
...
Okay, so, Sasuke has never been the most intuitive when it comes to emotions. And he’s also never been great at acknowledging or learning about culture surround a/b/o dynamics because he’s always been adamant that he doesn’t care for it or need it.
But now Sasuke is starting to think that may have been a mistake. Because things are going wrong with this whole courting situation (that Sasuke still can’t believe is happening to him.)
Things were fine! But now the alpha courting him is getting colder and not wanting to train as much, and Sasuke doesn’t know what’s changed! He’s angry and upset about it.
He’s been brooding for about a week about the whole situation, but now he’s decided to ask someone for advice.
His friends are useless. His mother just laughed and told him it would work out if it was supposed to. Shisui is on a mission. He’d rather die than ask Kakashi sensei. So, unfortunately, he had to ask his brother, even though he was sure to get some embarrassing and invasive questioning from him. The sadist.
So, he goes to see his brother.
Who isn’t there.
His brother’s alpha tells him that Itachi is out with their pup all day running errands and taking him for his bi yearly check-ups. But Sasuke needs to know what’s going wrong and how to fix this now! He doesn't have time to wait for Itachi to be done with his stupid errands!
His brother’s alpha notices how tense he is and asks if he would like to stay for some tea, and Sasuke accepts before he thinks about what he's doing. Their relationship is much better nowadays but Sasuke can’t help but feel a little awkward around them still.
“Here,” they say, sliding two teacups onto the table. “You like green tea, right? It’s the only type we have in, you know what Itachi’s like with tea.”
“Green tea is fine,” Sasuke says politely if a little stiff.
His brother’s alpha sits down at the other side of the couch with their own tea, and the two sit in silence for a bit, each sipping their own tea
“Sasuke,” they say, shooting him a concerned look. “If you need me to go and get Itachi, I can. You don’t look well, he’ll come back in an instant if you ask him to.”
“No,” Sasuke answers quickly. “It’s fine… I…”
Here goes nothing.
“I’m just having a bit of trouble at the moments, is all, and…”
Itachi’s alpha nods, obviously listening intently with a look of concern on his face that is making this both harder and easier for Sasuke at the same time.
“Go on, Sasuke, I’m listening.”
“I’m sure Itachi told you about my… my er situation,” Sasuke starts, wishing he could punch himself in the face for phrasing it like that.
“That someone’s courting you?” they ask gently.
Sasuke only nods, face burning. He can’t count the number of times he’s told Itachi’s alpha to their face that he’d rather die than enter a courtship. This is so awkward, why is he doing this?
“Did they do something to make you uncomfortable, Sasuke?” they ask immediately after seeing his hesitance. “Because if they did, we can sort it out together okay? It’s not your fault.”
“No!” Sasuke immediately protests far louder than he intended too. “They didn’t… They didn’t do anything, I just… I think I did something wrong…”
Sasuke pretends to drink his tea to avoid having to elaborate any more, despite the fact that it’s still too hot.
“What did you do that was wrong?” they ask, voice still quiet and soothing and Sasuke hates how comforting he finds it. Like it or not, his instincts had branded Itachi’s alpha as ‘safe’ many years ago.
“I don’t know,” Sasuke admits, fiddling with the rim of his cup. “They seemed sad one day and I just thought they had a bad day or something, but now they’re… cold.”
“They aren’t behaving how they were behaving before?”
Sasuke shakes his head.
“Is it possible they have an issue at home or with some of their friends? It might be something in their personal life that's upsetting them.”
Sasuke shakes his head again.
“They seem fine when they’re with everyone else…” he admits. “It’s just me.”
Sasuke forces back the burn of tears he can feel behind his eyes. He will not cry. He won’t do it.
His brother’s alpha hums sadly.
“And you want to figure out what happened?” Sasuke nods. “Okay, why don’t you walk me through what happened on the days leading up to the mood change.”
And so Sasuke does.
He tells them all about how they would meet for training every day and Sasuke would bring two bento boxes for lunch, and then they would sometimes go shopping or go out to eat. Things he hasn’t told anyone about yet. And as he's talking, he really can't see what the problem is, everything seems fine! But maybe Itachi’s alpha might know some alpha thing that he doesn't. Sasuke can easily admit that it’s not his forte.
“I see,” Itachi’s alpha says after Sasuke had finished his story. Sasuke’s tea sits cold on the table next to his brother’s mate’s empty cup. “I think I know what happened.”
Sasuke looks up immediately. No way they’ve already figured it out that easily!
“They thought you were rejecting them,” Itachi’s alpha says simply.
“Wha- But…we spent everyday together! How could that be a rejection?!”
“When an alpha is courting an omega,” they start to explain. “They’re trying as hard as they can to prove to that omega that they can be a good mate.”
“I know that,” Sasuke snaps.
“Listen to me for a second, Sasuke," they softly reprimand. "So, when an alpha, particularly a younger one, is courting an omega, they are very sensitive to rejection, they look for it everywhere.”
“Why?” Sasuke asks, dumbfounded.
“Well, when I was courting your brother, we weren’t that much older than you are now, and I remember thinking that he was the most perfect person in the whole world,” their eyes take on a faraway look as they reminisce. “I was so sure that he must have had hundreds of alphas clawing for his attention every day, and so I was desperate to prove to him that I could be a good mate.
“With every gift, on every date, I would watch his reaction to everything, overanalysing every laugh and smile and frown. I loved him so much, but I couldn’t help but think that he would reject me at any moment. He was too good for me, and I knew that. It always felt like he was humouring me, especially at first.”
“That’s stupid.”
“Yeah,” they laugh, unoffended by Sasuke’s harsh tone. “Looking back, I guess it was, but what I’m trying to tell you, is that I can see how some of your actions could have been taken as rejection by a young alpha who was expecting to be rejected.”
“But…” Sasuke says, looking lost. “I didn’t want to reject them, I don’t understand.”
“Here,” they continue patiently. “Let me explain it to you like this. When you went out to eat, you paid for yourself even though they offered, right? Because you didn't want to burden them?"
“Yeah,” Sasuke trails off, unsure what that has to do with anything.
“But to a young, hormonal alpha, you’re basically telling them that you don’t trust them to provide for you, the one thing they are trying most to convince you."
“But I wasn’t-“ Sasuke protests.
“I know you weren’t,” they reassure him. “But that’s the sort of thing that will run through an alpha’s head at that age when courting. Also, you told them you wanted to train with them because you thought they were strong because you wanted to compliment them, right?”
Sasuke blushes but nods.
“And that’s great to start with, but eventually they would probably start to wonder why you wouldn’t want to train just to spend time with them. And you also told them that you had plenty of leftovers to make their lunch with so that they wouldn’t feel like they were burdening you, right? But that just made them feel like you weren’t going out of your way to do something special for them, even though you were. Do you see what I mean now?”
Sasuke blinks, rapidly trying to wrap his head around all this new information.
“And I also have a guess as to what pushed them over the edge into thinking you were rejecting them.”
“What is it?” Sasuke demands. “Tell me.”
“Did they make that scarf for you by hand, Sasuke?”
“Yes,” says Sasuke hesitantly.
“And they scented it?”
Sasuke nods affirmative.
“Did you give anything back?”
“I… Just said thank you… is that not right?”
Itachi’s alpha shakes their head with a patient smile.
“A handmade and scented gift is the most important and meaningful courting gift that there is, Sasuke,” they explain. “It’s what you give to someone to ask them if they want to move from courting to something more serious, to intended mates.”
Sasuke blushes and feels some panic rising in his chest.
“I didn’t know!” he blurts, feeling the need to explain himself.
“I know,” they rush to reassure him. “But the etiquette dictates that the omega, if they wish to move onto that stage, gives the alpha a handmade and scented gift in return, no later than a week after the original gift was given. They must have been very nervous waiting for you, and very upset when you didn’t even let them down softly.”
“It’s been two weeks,” Sasuke whispers, mortified that he had missed something he should have known. This makes so much sense. The sudden depression, the awkwardness at training, the nerves after they had given him the scarf. He’s such an idiot. Against his will, Sasuke starts to feel tears burning at his eyes again. He messed everything up!
“Oh, Sasuke,” they say, scooting closer to him. They hesitantly lay a hand on his leg, and Sasuke makes no move to push them off. “It’s alright, you can fix it.”
“How?” he sniffs, furiously wiping away any tears that manage to escape. “They probably hate me now.”
“Come here,” they say, pulling him into a hug. And for the first time ever, Sasuke accepts a hug from his brother’s alpha.
“It’s alright,” they soothe. “We can fix this, I’ll help you.”
“What can I do?” he questions, feeling miserable.
“You need to make them something and scent it. Then you can explain what happened afterwards, but the gift should go a long way in smoothing over any ruffled feathers. I can help you make something, what do you want to make?”
Sasuke shrugs, still resting his head on his brother’s alpha’s shoulder.
“How about some cupcakes? Itachi and I were planning on doing some baking with the pup tomorrow, so I have all the supplies. And I’m sure we have some ribbon lying around, you can scent the ribbon and use it to tie up the box, how does that sound?”
“But what will you use tomorrow?” Sasuke asks, feeling a little better, but still red in the face.
“I can buy more, Sasuke, don’t worry, but this is a courting emergency, so we have to do it now, okay?”
“Okay.”
Itachi comes back from his errands just in time to watch his mate helping his little brother tie a ribbon around a box of cupcakes. The kitchen is covered in baking supplies and empty bowls of batter.
Did they bake cupcakes together?
Itachi can’t believe it. He had been trying to get them to get along better for years.
When Sasuke sees him standing in the door, he blushes and, holding the box of cupcakes to his chest, pushes past him and out the door with a quick nothing more than a quick and murmured greeting.
His pup wiggles in his arms and demands to be put down. He obliges and they immediately run to his alpha for a hug.
“Hey there, buddy, have a good day?”
“It was boring,” they complain. “And the mednin had cold fingers.”
Itachi’s alpha laughs.
“Well, I know something that might make you feel better,” they tease.
“What?! What?!”
“Uncle Sasuke made you something very special,” they say, bringing down a spare cupcake from on top of the counter, iced in his pup's favourite colour. The way his pup’s eyes widen at the sight of it, makes Itachi smile. “You can have it after dinner, okay, and next time we see uncle Sasuke we have to remember to say thank you.”
Itachi watches in amusement as his pup nods furiously and immediately runs off to go wash up for dinner, despite the fact that Itachi hasn’t even started cooking it yet.
“Did you and Sasuke bake together?” Itachi asks, still unbelieving of what he had seen.
You smile, understanding how crazy that must have been for Itachi to walk in on.
“Yes, we… had a little bonding session,” they say. “I’ll tell you about it later, I promise.”
Itachi accepts the answer despite his curiosity and joins his alpha is cleaning the kitchen so that he can start cooking dinner.
And if both of them were smiling too much, well, neither of them brought it up.
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tojiot · 3 years
Note
ooh have about the main three with the fake dating trope :D
fake dating the main three
gn!reader, cursing here and there, typos and grammatical errors to be edited, past tense - present tense swerving to be fixed.
note: i was on vacation for 2 days without internet and i have bakugo's done in my notes but my phone died before i can even save it :D this will be kinda long because i went ahead of myself and detailed it exactly how i want. this is not betaed. please do tell me if there's a non they/them pronouns in here. hope you'll enjoy this!
requests are: open!
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ㅡ bakugo
i spent the whole day thinking about how he'll agree to fake date. let's just say he's the one in need.
his mom has been bothering him for a long time now. she wants to see katsuki bring home a partner for them to meet.
it's a pain in the ears and he's very TIRED so he decided to just fake date somebody.
the only person he can tolerate in class a aside from kirishima is you. he doesn't care about the other extras.
he'll search for you in the heights' lounge area and ask to talk.
"hey, can we talk?" he grumbles, "uhh, sure? do you want to talk here or somewhere private?" "somewhere private."
when you guys are in a more private area, he'd glare at you for a minute, it'll make you wonder if you did something wrong, before finally speaking.
"date me for a fucking day."
you'll snort at what he said and laugh thinking it was a joke but the annoyed and impatient look on his face says otherwise.
"wait.. are you for real?" "what do you think, shithead?"
bakugo trusts you so much that you have this significant role to play in his life.
you agreed, of course. it's the bakugo katsuki asking for your help. a once in a lifetime chance. (you just like him, stop making things up)
he brings you to the bakugo household the day after and his house is BIG big.
mitsuki, his mom, welcomes you with a big smile and a hug. he then glares at his son, "WHY ARE YOU ONLY BRINGING THIS PRETTY LITTLE CREATURE NOW, YOU BRAT?" "SHUT UP, OLD HAG! BE NICE OR I AIN'T BRINGING THEM HERE NO MORE."
masaru, who's just sitting there at the couch like nothing's happening, gives you a wave.
the dinner was good. his mom's a great cook, his father's a chatterbox. what surprised you the most was how quiet katsuki is. you're not sure why. maybe he's like this at home? quiet, calm, just serene.
"it's not everyday i see a person who can tame my brat of a son. i can see why he likes you, (y/n)." his mom beams at you, "you're pretty, a kind little one too. take care of my son, will ya?"
not knowing what to say, you smiled at her and said what's currently inside your mind, "if he'll let me, i'll take care of him for the rest of my life." you looked down, "but knowing katsuki, he doesn't need anyone to take care of him. he's strong and independent and he knows it. it'll hurt his pride if someone helps him without him asking them to." you smiled to yourself, "i just hope he knows that when he needs me, i'll always be here for him."
mitsuki smiled at you in awe. you have the mother's approval, congrats!
katsuki just stared at you with furrowed eyebrows, masaru pats his back, "good job, son. i'm happy for you."
he then murmured a protest before drinking his water.
time passed by and it's eventually your time to say goodbye to the bakugos.
mitsuki hugs you for the last time and ask you to come have dinner with them again, masaru pats your head and thanks you for being there for his son.
both of you were in a car provided by the school for safety protocols when he spoke, "did you mean it?"
you looked at him, confused, "mean what?" "what you said earlier to my mom, shithead. did you mean it?" "well, yeah. i mean it when i say i'll always be here for you."
he wore this unreadable and unclear expression on his face. he looks mad? confused? no one knows.
"why?" he asked, "why what?" "WHY DO YOU KEEP MAKING ME REPEAT MYSELF. WHY DID YOU SAY IT?" "YOU'RE A FRIEND OF MINE, THAT'S IT."
he chuckled bitterly, "a friend. that's fucking funny. i literally though you also like me for a second."
huh.. what does he mean? also? you laughed nervously, "hey, did i hear you right? thought i heard 'also' there."
"you're fucking dense, aren't you? do you want me to scream it straight at your face? i fucking like you."
you froze. yes, but embarrassment caught up and you covered your reddened face, "WHY ARE YOU SUDDENLY CONFESSING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT? WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO SAY?"
"I AIN'T EXPECTING YOU TO SAY ANYTHING, SHITHEAD!" "I LIKE YOU TOO!" "SHUT THE FUCK UP I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY OF A CONFESSION." "IT'S NOT A PITY OF A CONFESSION BUT FINE! I DON'T LIKE YOU." "OKAY THEN. I'M BRINGING SOMEONE ELSE NEXT DINNER AND TELL THE OLD HAG WE BROKE UP." "NOOOOOOO!!"
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ㅡ todoroki
i was contemplating whether to have him help fake date or have him need help. it's fitting if he's the one in need so i decided just that.
he might seem dense and clueless most of the time but he's the epitome of evilness.
he talks about you all the time that's why fuyumi has taken a liking to you and asked shoto to invite you to dinner with them.
shoto sees this as a chance. he'll take advantage of the situation because he knows you won't say no.
he goes to where you are sitting, "i apologize but my sister, fuyumi, she thinks we're dating. she wants to invite you to dinner at our house later." he said that with a straight face but this mf is smirking on the inside.
"uhhh, okay? sure? but uhm, why would she think we're dating?" "she thinks everyone close to me is dating me. she's like that.. yes. fuyumi likes you the most, i think. that's.. uh, that's why she's inviting you to dinner." (I HC HIM AS A BAD LIAR)
sounds suspicious and weird, but okay? you have a lot of question in mind.
"i would go. but how should i act? why didn't you tell her we aren't dating though?" "i don't want to disappoint my sister. you can act like you're dating me, if it's fine with you. just for a day."
"sure, sure! just tell me where and what time. i'll be there." "no, you can come with me. we'll go there together."
he brings you to the todoroki household after class. their house is soooo pretty. it's a traditional japanese house.
fuyumi was the first one to greet you, with her sparkling eyes and bright smile, she held both your hands gently and said, "i'm so glad you came! i've been wanting to ask shoto to have you come eat with us. thank you for coming!"
natsuo jogged from the back and gave you a cool wave, "hey, (y/n). how was it dealing with shoto?"
you faked sighed, "awful. how did you deal with him for the last 16 years?" "we never did." "oh.... OH NO I'M SORRY!" "HAHAHA. it's fine, i'm just kidding. no biggie."
enji won't be home for the day. he's busy doing number 1 hero works.
the dinner was fun. it was the funniest dinner you have ever had.
shoto's quietness is the exact opposite of natsuo's talkativeness. that man is talkative and funny as fuck. throwing jokes everywhere. it was entertaining.
all shoto did was take care of you. he serves you all the food you point at, gets you water, he even went too close for comfort and wiped a stain just above your lips. it made you blush, yes. you don't know why but it left you lightheaded. (you're in love with him, that's why)
fuyumi.. our beautiful and beloved fuyumi.
she exposed his brother's ass.
"aww. you guys are so cute together. ah! (y/n), do you remember that time when.. uhm, kaminari was it? i forgot his name but do you remember that time where he told you, midoriya, and the girls to wear a maid costume for the festival because your class is having a maid cafe booth? shoto told me you were so pretty that time! he hated how the boys in your class looked at you like you were some sweet treat, isn't that right, shoto?"
"and do you remember when you fought bakugo at the sports festival? where it was a close fight and you gave him a hard time? shoto said you won if the decision was up to him and that you were so cool!"
and she went on and on.
shoto was red as a tomato (or even redder) beside you. he was clutching his pants as if he was asking the floor to just eat him up.
you decided to ask him about this later to not uncover the fake dating plan.
dinner ended after a little talking, fuyumi gave you leftovers to take home which you will not reject because her cooking is divine, and asked you to come again after giving you a big and warm hug.
natsuo gave you a high five and thanked you for coming. he also thanked you for laughing at his jokes. he feels like he's very funny now.
both said goodbye to shoto.
the journey back to the heights was quiet but not awkward. it seems like shoto knew you have a lot in mind.
you spoke when he's about to open the main door. "what was that?" he looked at you with a confused expression, "the one at dinner."
"ah, if it isn't obvious yet after my sister opened her mouth, i like you. i have been for a long time now." he said that with a deadpan expression, "it annoyed me at first, it annoyed me that you're in my mind whenever i try to sleep, you're in my mind everytime i wake up. it annoyed me that i want nothing more than to hold you near me, hold your hands, warm you up with my fire everytime you feel cold, hug you, kiss you." he sighed frustratedly, "i just want to do everything with you... i'm sorry. i'm not good with words."
WELL YOU DID NOT EXPECT HIM TO BE THIS STRAIGHTFORWARD.
but again, this is todoroki shoto.
"..what? shoto... i didn't know you felt that way. why didn't you tell me?" you asked him concernedly, you lifted your hand to hold his face but stopped halfway thinking maybe he doesn't want to be touched.
but then he held your hand and guided it to hold his face, "i didn't actually plan to confess but when people started talking about how good of a hero you'd become in the future and when everyone started saying they all want to date you, that's when i decided it's now or never." he looked at your eyes, "i don't want to lose this chance. that's why i started telling fuyumi stories about you and asking her what to do."
"is that why your sister thought we were dating?" "yes. she knows about how i feel for you. she told me to confess and i told her i did and that it went well. i lied to her. i don't know why."
you coughed, "so, she doesn't really think everyone close to you is dating you?" "yes." "you lied to me?" "yes, i apologize."
"you could have told me you like me too!?" "it's not that easy to confess. plus, i really wanted to know how everything will go. it went well, i'm satisfied. you like me too, right?" "i do, shoto. i like you so much." he smiled at you, that rare fucking smile he knows is pretty, "that's enough for me."
"BUT YOU TOOK ADVANTAGE OF EVERYTHING?" "yes. yes, i did." "WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU!!?" "date me, (y/n)" "OKAY!"
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ㅡ midoriya
a lot of guys from the other class have been bothering you. they kept on asking for your number and stuff. one even sent you flowers and a box of chocolates.
you appreciate it if you're being honest. what you don't appreciate is them sticking to you the whole lunch.
you told mina what's happening and she told you that the best shot of getting off those admirers of yours is to date somebody.
you don't wanna to that though. aside from focusing on studies, you have feelings for this certain someone with green messy hair and freckles. you don't want to date someone just to use them and lie to them.
"you know, what if you just get your shit together and confess to midoriya?" "MINA, BE QUIET! SOMEONE MIGHT HEAR YOU!" "confess to midoriya!" she whispired.
"or just ask him to date you until your followers stop following you around?" kaminari interjects, "what, you mean like, fake date him?" "yeah. something like that." "you're really useful sometimes, aren't you?" "shut up, mina."
you've thought about it all night. would izuku think i'm using him? would he reject the idea? would he be mad about it?
after contemplating, you finally went out of your room and walked straight at his door. he opened it with a smile after 3 knocks.
"hey, (y/n)! how can i help you?"
you looked at him nervously. what you were about to ask is a big part to act. "i will get straight to the point. some people from the other classes have been bothering me for a while now. they keep on following me and asking for my number even though i rejected them all the time. i want to ask you if you could date me? IT'S FAKE! OF COURSE. will you please fake date me until they get off me? i, uh, i'm not taking advantage of your kindness. i promise. right?" you said with a shaking voice.
he laughed at your rambling, "no need to be nervous, (y/n)! i would love to do the honors and fake date you! it's like an undercover hero mission. it's so cool! when do we start?"
you smiled at his enthusiasms. izuku is really the kindest person here on earth. you told him what to do, who those people are, etc. your fake dating starts tomorrow.
izuku was waiting outside your door when you opened it, he has his usual beaming smile when you saw him, "hi, (y/n)! ready to start our mission?" he's surely so into this whole thing.
you both walked down the lounge area holding each other's hand. everyone was gaping at the sight except todoroki who remained munching on his sandwich and bakugo who, well, "fucking finally you idiots." he said.
izuku let go of your hand and held both his hands up while shaking his head in a panicky manner, "no, no! we're just fake dating. i'm helping (y/n) get rid of their admirers! they said it was bothering them!"
"okay. but (y/n), why deku?" the motherfucker was smirking at you. todoroki, bless him, caught the panic in your eyes and called bakugo off. "that's enough, bakugo. leave them alone." "tsk! fucking icyhot a fucking killjoy."
most of your admirers stopped following you after they saw you holding hands with izuku. he's been doing a lot for you. he tried to tie your hair at training and brought you water. nothing much happened inside the classroom because everyone knows it's just a show. lots of outsiders believe you're dating izuku. some still bothers you from time to time especially at lunch.
you were sitting with bakugo, todoroki, kirishima, and of course, izuku, when a group of 3 went to your table (they're brave. no one would come bother bakugo's table because everyone's terrified of him.)
"hey, (y/n). can you give me your number now? i just wanted to get to know you better." "(y/n) give me your number! i'll send you lots of chocolates. i promise!" "they're liars but i'm not. i'd take you to your favorite movie this sunday of you'll give me your number?"
you pursed your lips in an annoyed manner, your friends are here and they're embarrassing you. you were about to speak when izuku beats you to it, "please stop bothering (y/n). it's obvious that my partner doesn't want to give you their number."
the group stared at each other with bewildered expressions on their faces, one looked at izuki and asked, "partner? you mean, combat partner or boyfriend? (y/n)'s dating someone?"
izuku wore a prideful expression on his face, "yes, i am their boyfriend and they're dating someone. that's why with all due respect, please leave them alone."
the 3 backed out and apologized. not everyone has the same personality as mineta. the person who seemed like their leader walked forward and bowed, "we're so sorry. we should've stopped when they rejected us the first time. they're just so intriguing that's why we wanted to know more about them. we're really sorry." with that, they left.
you faced izuku and thanked him. it was nice to finally walk and look around without seeing unfamiliar faces follow you. "thank you so much, izuku! you saved me. really."
he smilled at you, "it's nothing! i'd do anything for (y/n)." izuku froze at what he said and started chuckling anxiously, "i.. i didn't mean it like that! hahaha! but if you need anything, i, uhm, i'd always be glad to help." you stared at him and said, "me too, izuku. i'd always be glad to help you! you can come to me everytime you need something." he blushed at what you said.
"FUCKING IDIOTS JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY! I'M TIRED OF HEARING BOTH YOUR SHIT! CONFESS TO EACH OTHER GODDAMNIT!" "oi bakugo. that's not how to do it." "SHUT UP SHITTY HAIR!" "bakugo, you're too noisy." "YOU HALF AND HALF BASTARD I'M TIRED OF YOU TOO!"
izuku coughed tensely, "(y/n), can i talk to you outside? i just need to tell you something." you nodded, "of course!" you both stood up and left the table of wild animals.
when the two of you got outside, izuku's hands were obviously shaking so without a thought, you held it. "are you okay?" "I AM... i am." "why are you acting like this? did something happen?" you asked worriedly.
"no, everything's fine. i just.. i don't know how it started but i just woke up one day thinking how i'd love you to be mine. i want to walk you to school, i want to tell everyone i'm your boyfriend, i want to kiss you good night. haha, is it to much to ask, (y/n)? i like you a lot." he told you that nervously, the boy was shaking and sweating.
"i can't believe it... izuku, i like you too. oh god, are you serious?" "i am, haha! i didn't know you feel the same. i'm really happy!" "i didn't know you feel the same too! half of our classmates knew that i like you. katsuki's just too noisy. he literally told everyone when you did extra training." "(y/n).. kacchan also knows about my feelings for you! he told todoroki and kirishima. is that why he's so persistent in getting us together?" "i don't know. that's just how he is."
you both were awkward as fuck but izuku asked if you'd like to date for real and you said yes.
when you came back to the table, it was bakugo who spoke first, "are you idiots finally together?" you replied to him with a middle finger which aggravated the blondie, "YOU FUCKER!"
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robininthelabyrinth · 3 years
Note
JC adopts stray/rouge cultivators after the war au to cope with the destruction of lotus pier. also i love your writing so much!!
Gratuitously Acquired - ao3
-
1
At first, he took anyone who would join, needing numbers – needing people. There were plenty of cultivators that wanted to be associated with a great sect. Plenty, too, that were barely more than criminals, wanting to use the smoke and ash of war to obscure the past, to cover up old crimes and wash themselves clean.
Jiang Cheng wasn’t in any position to refuse them. Soldiers were soldiers.
After the war ended, though…
Some he cast out. Others, even more despicable, he slaughtered for what they’d done.
A few –
“Yan Qiao.”
The female cultivator in question, who had been sneaking out of the still mostly ruined Lotus Pier at night in flagrant violation of curfew, froze in her tracks.
“Uh,” she said. “Sect Leader Jiang. Fancy finding you…here…now…at this time…”
Jiang Cheng looked at the basket of buns in her hands. “You’re stealing leftovers from our kitchens to feed orphans among the common people,” he said. “Again.”
She blushed. “No one wants them now that there’s better available, Sect Leader! Really, they’ll only go stale, and then rot – and I never stole when it was the army eating them!”
“That’s not the point,” Jiang Cheng said irritably. “Tell me, how in the name of heavens did you really get branded as a criminal? Distributed too many alms? Did too much charity?”
Yan Qiao coughed, turning red. “I told you before, Sect Leader. I killed a man.”
“He must have done something particularly heinous, then. You’re shitat killing.”
“Now I am. Sect Leader, if you don’t mind…”
“You’re one of the ones who wants my surname, right?” he interrupted. “Consider it granted.”
Yan Qiao – no, he supposed he’d better start thinking of her as Jiang Qiao – gaped at him. “But…Sect Leader!”
“I’ve barely granted it to anyone, so you’d better live up to it, you hear me?” Jiang Cheng said in his best threatening voice. He’d been assured by several people that it was really quite threatening, anyway. “I don’t want any excuses. Now go feed your damn orphans, and in the morning I want a report on how you think we can do it in a more structured manner. I can’t have you sneaking off every night anymore! Now that you’re a Jiang, you’re going to have work.”
-
2
When they were done with war and started firmly on rebuilding, the Jiang sect’s name was firmly reestablished as a Great Sect once more, it was the opportunists that came.
Smiling faces, sycophantic voices, cowards one and all – like beetles crawling out of the woodwork, not willing to risk their lives, but willing enough to beg for scraps and advantages later on when it seemed safe enough to do so.
Jiang Cheng wanted to chase them all away, but his sect was still weaker than he wanted to admit, still rebuilding, still more army than civilian operation. They had valiant soldiers by the dozen, but they needed more than that. They needed administrators, supervisors, artisans, smiths, merchants, laundry-women…
They needed workers. The ones they got – well, cowards they might be, but skills they had.
He still rejected most of the worst of them.
Most.
“Bo Zhou,” he said, inspecting the surprisingly flush list of taxes they’d collected that quarter, and the man in question turned to grin unrepentantly at him. “You’d tell me if you were a con artist in a previous life, right?”
“A previous life, Sect Leader?” Bo Zhou said. He was still grinning, but then, he was always grinning. He had a crooked leg and an even more crooked heart, and he’d probably steal candy from little children if he happened to have a hankering, but he was amazing at getting people to do what he wanted. Too amazing, really. “Why limit yourself? What about thislife?”
“…Bo Zhou. Tell me you aren’t a former con artist.”
“I may or may not have had a sideline selling snake oil and protective talismans before I became a cultivator,” Bo Zhou admitted cheerfully, and Jiang Cheng pinched the bridge of his nose – less out of actual irritation and more to keep from actually laughing. The only person he knew that was more shameless than Bo Zhou was Wei Wuxian; he couldn’t wait to introduce them once Wei Wuxian stopped skulking around in wine shops long enough to get back to doing his job as Jiang Cheng’s head disciple and right hand. “Who would’ve known that making all those fake talismans ended up making me pretty good at making actual talismans when I became a cultivator? Really, who could have called that?”
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Who taught you how to cultivate, anyway? Can I – I don’t know – seek vengeance on behalf of the rest of the world or something?”
Bo Zhou rolled his eyes right back at him. Shameless! “Is this about the taxes? Just be happy I got them all!”
“I can’t just be happy! What if this money is stolen property?”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Sect Leader. They’re what we shouldbe getting, and from all the right people. You told me this was the right amount yourself!”
“Yes, but no one ever actually pays the full amount!” Jiang Cheng enjoyed the way Bo Zhou’s jaw dropped. “I just wanted to see if you could actually do it.”
“I’m hurt at your lack of trust.” Bo Zhou paused, considering. “Also a little impressed at you for keeping a straight enough face to trick me. Well done, Sect Leader.”
“Yeah,” Jiang Cheng said. “You too, Jiang Zhou.”
“It’s Bo…” He trailed off, comprehension arriving and speech departing, and this time he didn’t have a quick retort. He’d been nagging Jiang Cheng on and off for the Jiang surname for the last few weeks, more joking than anything else – he knew that Jiang Cheng hadn’t given his surname to the vast majority of the new people in his sect, only the very few he thought were worth it.
Jiang Cheng enjoyed the newly dubbed Jiang Zhou’s moment of speechlessness thoroughly, since he was moderately sure he wasn’t going to get another one anytime in the next – ever, possibly.
“You proved your worth and your trustworthiness,” he said, patting Jiang Zhou on the shoulder. It occurred to him that he should probably come up with a courtesy name for the man, although he wasn’t sure the man would want one. “Also, congratulations, you’re now the person in charge of tax collection. See if you can think up some new thoughts about supplementing our income, will you? We have so many costs, and I don’t want to rely on Lanling Jin more than I can help it, not like Gusu Lan…”
“Oh, really?” Jiang Zhou interrupted, abruptly excited. “I have so many ideas! How ethical do you want to be about this?”
Jiang Cheng paused. “…very?”
“Be reasonable, Sect Leader!”
“…moderately?” he tried, a little more desperately.
“I can work with moderately. I don’t suppose you’d accept ‘thin and barely plausible veneer’?”
“No.”
“Oh well. Moderately ethical it is!”
-
3
Most of the Jiang sect was slaughtered during the attack on the Lotus Pier. Disciples Jiang Cheng had grown up with his whole life, had expected to see by his side in the future, his friends, his family, even his petty childhood enemies – all gone.
Well, not all gone. There were some Jiang disciples that had been away from Lotus Pier at the time, whether on some errand or a night-hunt or other reasons; they rushed back to his side as soon as they could, of course, and formed the core of Jiang Cheng’s new Jiang sect. When he’d felt utterly alone, when even Wei Wuxian was missing, they had been there for him. They’d preserved their lives and then they’d promised them to him, and it wasn’t until they knelt before him that he really felt like a Sect Leader.
There was no way he could give any of them up now.
“Jiang Meimei, you can’t go,” he said, having completely abandoned all shame in favor of clutching at her robes as if he were a child. “I need you!”
“I’m not even a proper Jiang disciple!” she exclaimed, exasperated – or possibly just annoyed that her grand plan to sneak out in the middle of the night had been stymied by his ambush. “Just because my surname is still Jiang doesn’t mean I didn’t get kicked out, remember?”
“I thought you just left,” Jiang Cheng said, temporarily distracted. “No one ever really talked much about it, actually, but to the extent anyone did, they said that you’d decided that your inclinations were more suited to being a rogue cultivator. That you didn’t want to be weighed down by sect expectations –”
“Hah!” Jiang Meimei tossed her head. “As if it wouldn’t be better to be a roving sect cultivator than a rogue cultivator! I won’t deny that I had a fair bit of wanderlust in my youth –”
“You’re only ten years older than me, you’re not that old.”
“Shut up, brat.”
“You can’t tell me to shut up, I’m your sect leader.”
“You’re my baby cousin is what you are, and, again, I’m actually not part of the Jiang sect!”
“That’s ridiculous,” Jiang Cheng argued. “You’ve been at my side during the entire Sunshot Campaign.”
“I wasn’t going to let my baby cousin get himself murdered, now was I?” Jiang Meimei sniffed. “But I’m still a rogue cultivator. They kicked me out when I wouldn’t accept a marriage, and I’m still firm on that.”
Jiang Cheng blinked. “Wait, you don’t want to be married? Really?” he asked, concerned. “But what about poor Liu Lingling? You shouldn’t be sleeping with her if you don’t intend to be serious about it! I’m pretty sure she’s just waiting for the current project you’re working on to finish to find a matchmaker to exchange birth characters –”
“They wanted me to marry a man,” Jiang Meimei clarified, but her habitual frown had eased considerably; she looked almost on the verge of a smile. “A-Cheng, you’re being dense again. You’re the Sect Leader of a Great Sect now. You know that that means you need to have alliances, marriage contacts with other sects, and that means using your subsidiary branches.”
“Jiang Meimei, you’re the one being dense,” Jiang Cheng said. “You think I’d force you into a marriage? I don’t have subsidiary branches. I barely have a sect, even after all this time. I’m not Wen Ruohan, handing out my surname to anyone who wants it – I only give it to the ones that matter, the ones I want to keep, and those of you that actually share my blood are even rarer, even more precious. How could I give you away?”
Jiang Meimei pursed her lips.
“I really do need you,” Jiang Cheng said quietly. “You weren’t part of the Jiang sect at all, not really, but you still came to help me – you were there from the beginning of the Sunshot Campaign, and you’ve never strayed, never left. You’re my right hand. I can’t do without you.”
Jiang Meimei turned her head away. “It’s not that I want to leave you,” she said. “But becoming a rogue cultivator was hard enough the first time. I couldn’t rely on any of the things that I had always had, everything always changing. I was young and angry then, I could handle it, but things are different now. I’m less flexible, less compromising, older, more tired – I can’t just walk out on a whim and just rough it anymore. I have a girl who, yes, I want to eventually marry; I want to have children. I need certainty. Are you going to give it to me?”
Jiang Cheng looked down at his hands. He’d known it was going to have to come to this, but he’d been dragging his feet, not wanting to succumb to a reality that already existed. Had existed for longer than he wanted to admit, as if simply denying it would mean that it wasn’t the truth.
Like a child.
“Yes,” he said, though it tore his heart out of his chest to do it. “I will. Jiang Meimei…will you take the position of Head Disciple?”
Wei Wuxian wasn’t coming back. Jiang Cheng had already cast him out of the sect, just like Jiang Meimei had been, except in Wei Wuxian’s case it had been something that Wei Wuxian himself had demanded. He was living in Yiling now, and by all reports was quite happy there with his little Wen sect family that he’d picked over Jiang Cheng and all his family.
He was never coming back.
It was time to move on.
“Yes,” she said, and shoved her pack into his chest. “Now go unpack that for me. Consider it payment for driving me to extreme measures!”
“I’m your sect leader, you know,” he grumbled. “Officially, now. You could show me some respect.”
“Would you rather pay for my wedding down the line?”
“I’m going, I’m going!” And then, as he scurried over away, he shouted over his shoulder: “As if I wouldn’t be paying for it anyway! You think my Head Disciple’s going to be married in anything other than top style? Better start planning…”
“Don’t rush me! Brat!”
-
4
Jin Ling wasn’t surnamed Jiang, but he was the most important person in all of the Lotus Pier – and Jiang Cheng wanted to make sure everyone knew it. It hadn’t been easy for him to get the chance to help care for Jin Ling, especially here, so far away from home; Jiang Cheng had expected to barely be allowed to visit, to have to cool his heels outside of Lanling City begging just for a glimpse of him. Being able to take him home to raise for half the year, even if it was due to the dangerous infighting amongst Lanling Jin, was more than he’d ever dreamed.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t clear that Jin Ling himself agreed.
“He’s still crying,” Jiang Cheng muttered, rubbing his eyes. “Surely he’s got to stop sometime? I mean, just – physically?”
“They say a boy resembles his mother’s brother,” Jiang Meimei said, echoing the gesture. “If he’s got your lungs and stamina, Sect Leader, we’re doomed.”
“I’m rethinking the whole having children thing,” Liu Lingling said blearily, having fallen asleep on her soon-to-be wife’s shoulder several times, only to be woken up by the next round of crying. “I need sleep.”
“Go get some, both of you,” Jiang Cheng ordered. When his cousin scowled at him, he scowled back. “I’m serious. If he keeps this up, we’re going to need to go into shifts. I can last a bit longer.”
“That’s a filthy lie.”
“It is not. Your sect leader has given you an order – get to it!”
It was a filthy lie.
Jiang Cheng opened his eyes when the crink in his neck grew too irritating to ignore, at which point he realized he’d been asleep – and, more importantly, that Jin Ling was somehow not crying.
He sat up with a start, suddenly terrified: had something happened to him? Had he been silenced forever? Had Jiang Cheng failed this one last duty he had to his sister?
“Shhh, little one,” someone was whispering, not far away. “Let me tell you the one about the Weaver Girl and the Cowherd, yeah? You seem like someone who’d appreciate stars. It all started –”
Jiang Cheng went to go look.
A teenage girl was rocking Jin Ling in her arms and telling him a story in murmured tones, and Jin Ling was yawning and trying to gnaw on her shirt. She wasn’t even a cultivator, as far as Jiang Cheng could tell. Her clothing suggested some level of poverty, her accent the countryside – how’d she even end up here?
He wasn’t sure he cared.
Jiang Cheng didn’t want to disturb her, but he did anyway; a shift of his weight, a scuffling of his feet, and the floor creaked. The girl jumped, startled, but luckily Jin Ling was already most of the way asleep and just grumbled a little instead of starting to screech.
“How’d you do that?” Jiang Cheng asked, nodding at Jin Ling. “Make him stop crying.”
“My mother had seven kids after me,” the girl said, answering automatically. “And her sister had six. Someone had to learn to deal with all those babies, and it ended up being me. Think it’s just habit after this long.”
Jiang Cheng couldn’t handle one baby. He couldn’t even imagine.
That’s when the girl seemed to remember herself, and bit her lip. “Uh, sorry,” she said, hanging her head. “I heard him crying and I couldn’t resist...I’m pretty sure I’m not supposed to be here. It was an accident.”
“How did you get here?” Jiang Cheng asked, because accidental or not, a security breach was still a security breach. “And who are you, anyway?”
“My name’s A-Hua. I’m here to work in the kitchens, just got hired this morning; the fourth cook is my uncle’s wife’s cousin, she got me a job, said it was a good place to start – I was trying to find my way out so I could go to the servant’s quarters to get some sleep, but then I got lost…”
More likely she’d decided it was better to try to stay somewhere indoors than go out in the pouring rain to try to find her way to the right set of quarters, Jiang Cheng thought to himself. “Give me your hand.”
“Uh. What?”
He ignored her stare, took her hand and felt her pulse. There was a little bit of natural talent there, though not much; she might, if she tried hard enough, become a cultivator, but she’d never be more than a servant.
Unless, of course, she did something unusual to impress someone.
“Forget the kitchens,” Jiang Cheng told her. “You’re hired on a provisional basis to keep an eye on Jin Ling.”
The girl nodded, eyes wide as saucers. “Can you – do that?”
Jiang Cheng rolled his eyes. “Yes, I can. What’s your surname? You can’t go around being called A-Hua, we have at least seven people that I know of that go by that name.”
The girl looked distressed.
She probably didn’t have a proper surname. Some people in the countryside didn’t.
But they really couldn’t go around shouting “A-Hua” every time Jin Ling was crying, which was basically all the time.
“Fine,” he said, giving in. “Do well, and I’ll consider letting you use mine. But only if you do well!”
-
5
Jiang Cheng was covered in mud thanks to a successful-but-at-what-cost night hunt and angry about it, stomping around the lotus pools on his way back to town, when he heard the familiar sounds of someone having a panic attack.
He slowed, involuntarily, and took a look: it was some teenager dressed in black, heaving miserably by a tree.
Jiang Meimei had once said that Jiang Cheng was a bit weak when it came to teenagers.
Jiang Cheng said that was nonsense.
Jiang Hua chimed in, quite loyally (if perhaps not with the best timing), and said he wasn’t.
Jiang Cheng yielded the argument at once to keep Jiang Meimei from laughing herself sick.
In view of that, he was better off ignoring the kid. After all, what was it to him that some kid was having a fit of anxiety right next the same old lotus pool that he used to have his own teenage fits of anxiety next to, under the shade of the same old tree that had sheltered him – one of the few places that remained untouched by the Wen sect’s aggression, one of the few places that was exactly the same?
Jiang Cheng groaned and walked over. “Okay, fine. What’s your problem?”
The kid looked up at him. He had dark circles under his eyes. “I think my heart’s about to explode.”
“That’s just the anxiety,” Jiang Cheng said, and sat down next to him. “What’s causing the anxiety? Don’t say that someone is better than you and your parents are disappointed in you.”
“What?” the kid blinked. “No, it’s not – it’s not that. I’m about to screw up the very first job I ever got.”
Jiang Cheng considered that. It was just different enough from his own issues that he didn’t suspect a plot, and yet close enough that he might actually be able to offer some expertise.
“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked reluctantly.
“Not to some mud-man,” the kid said, and – hey! It wasn’t that bad. He thought, anyway. Actually, it probably was that bad. “I just…I’m the only one left. I have to make something of myself!”
Jiang Cheng’s eye twitched. “What do you mean, you’re the only one left?”
The kid stuttered through his story. It wasn’t as bad as Jiang Cheng had initially feared, but it was still pretty bad – his small village had had bad harvests, and there had been starvation, a bad winter; the kid had been sent out to get help, but it had taken too long and he’d arrived back to find them all already gone. He’d been lost, but some traveling cultivator had agreed to take him on as a disciple provided he proved himself, had taught him all sorts of skills, cultivation and talisman-writing and music –
“Music?” Jiang Cheng asked. “Not the sword?”
“There was only the one,” the kid explained. “Obviously he kept it for himself.”
Jiang Cheng didn’t think much of that – surely this cultivator, whoever he ws, could have shared, just long enough to teach? – but he didn’t comment. It seemed fairly clear that the kid didn’t actually think very highly of his teacher, although he was very earnestly trying to be appropriately filial.
It was a little cute.
“…and I was supposed to wait here for someone when they came by here, some fancy rich person, and then get them to follow me, but it’s been ages and no one’s come by at all!” the kid wailed. “I’m such a screw up!”
“You don’t even know who you’re waiting for?” Jiang Cheng asked, and the kid shook his head. “How were you supposed to get them to follow you, then?”
The kid scratched his nose. “My master said that if I showed off some of my cultivation, they’d follow me right away.”
Jiang Cheng suppressed a smirk. “It must be very impressive cultivation, then.”
“…not really. I only know one trick,” the kid admitted. “But it’s not that hard, and it looks impressive – here, see, wait; give me a second, I just need to whistle –”
Zidian crackled to life on Jiang Cheng’s finger before the kid finished the first stanza.
“Stop that!” he cried out, leaping to his feet, and – startled – the kid stopped, blinking owlishly at him. “Is that what your master taught you?!”
“Yes?” the kid said. “Did I do it wrong?”
Jiang Cheng gnashed his teeth. “That’s demonic cultivation. Never do that, okay? Ever.”
“But then how am I supposed to get the fancy rich person to follow me, assuming he ever showed?”
Jiang Cheng’s eyes narrowed. If he hadn’t tripped over that branch and fallen into the mud – if he hadn’t taken an extra half-shichen to struggle out of the mire – if he’d walked by in all his usual finery, rich person that he was, and seen some kid practicing demonic cultivation…
He’d have given chase in a heartbeat.
More to the point, everyone knew he would. His reputation had been pretty much set in stone by this point.
“Let’s go find that master of yours,” he said. “Right now.”
Of course, that ended up leading Jiang Cheng straight into the bastard’s trap, which would have been a problem except that he’d taken the time to send someone to tell Jiang Qiao, who’d been waiting for him back in town, that he’d be a bit late and not to worry, just wait where she was.
She’d ignored his instructions and arrived just in time to knife the demonic cultivator – a human trafficker whose operations Jiang Cheng had shut down with extreme viciousness only a few months before – right in the belly, gutting him like a fish in a swift easy motion.
“I think I’m getting the hang of it again,” she said, smiling at the knife, and Jiang Cheng made a mental note to ask exactly how manymen she’d killed to get that criminal brand of hers, except the poor kid was sinking down to his knees with a horrified look and, shit, that horrible bastard, evil as he might have been, was probably the last person the kid had in this whole rotten world, wasn’t he?
“Does Jiang Hua still have those beginner manuals we dug up for her?” Jiang Cheng asked, and Jiang Qiao nodded. “Good. Tell her that starting today, Jiang Jianwen here’s her little brother. She’s been pining over raising someone ever since Jin Ling got to be too old to snuggle.”
The kid looked up with wide eyes.
“No, you don’t get a choice on the name,” Jiang Cheng told him. “Whatever name this piece of crap gave you, just forget it, you hear me? You can do better than him. But no more demonic cultivation!”
-
+1
“I wish I could visit the Lotus Pier,” Wei Wuxian mumbled, looking wistfully downriver. They were very close by, but he still didn’t dare, even though Jiang Cheng had grumpily extended an invitation through Jin Ling. So much had happened – he just didn’t know where to even start.
He didn’t want to get into all that messy history with Jiang Cheng.
He just wanted to visit, that’s all.
He missed Jiang Cheng, but he missed the Lotus Pier, too. The food, the places, the air…
“I just need a secret way in that even the sect leader doesn’t know about,” he sighed. He’d once known them all – but there was a different sect leader now, and a different Lotus Pier. He couldn’t risk it: Jiang Cheng might find out that he’d snuck in and feel hurt, thinking that Wei Wuxian was avoiding him, when he was just avoiding the conversation; that would just make everything worse.
Lan Wangji would have distracted him, but Lan Wangji himself had been distracted – some man in Jiang sect colors with a heavy limp and an excited sort of air had rushed over, shouting something about wanting to talk about tax policy and possibly also games of chance, and Lan Wangji had all but fled. It had been so funny that Wei Wuxian had nearly laughed himself sick.
“I know one,” someone said, and Wei Wuxian glanced over: it was a young man in Jiang sect disciple robes, little more than a teenager – only a few years older than Jin Ling, if he had to guess. He was smiling, ducking his head a little; he looked proud of himself. “I mean, if you really want. But only if you don’t mean any harm!”
How adorable, Wei Wuxian thought, and grinned at him. “I just want something spicy without having to go through the whole process of greeting people, is that a crime?”
“Not at all!” the kid exclaimed, beaming, and Wei Wuxian almost felt bad for conning him. Almost.
“Do you really know a secret way in?” he asked, pretending to be doubtful. “Really?”
Sure enough, the kid – Jiang Jianwen, apparently, he must be the kid of one of the ones that survived the massacre – was easily lured into insisting that he did know, and then to agreeing to act as guide.
And, moreover, it turned out he really did know his way inside, which made this the easiest infiltration ever.
Or so Wei Wuxian thought right up until he felt a knife point touch his ribs.
“Well done, Jianwen!” a young woman – also in Jiang colors – said, reaching out and ruffling Jiang Jianwen’s hair.
“Aw, it was nothing,” he said, just as bashful as he was when he’d been talking to Wei Wuxian. “I couldn’t have done it without shixiong luring off Lan-er-gongzi.”
Wait, that’d been part of this, too?
That was worrisome.
“Hardly nothing,” the older woman standing behind Wei Wuxian said. She had a certain sort of rock-hard steadiness that was more worrying than the knife she was holding on him – she was a powerful cultivator, familiar with killing and scarred with a criminal’s brand, and yet she seemed entirely at ease in a way that suggested a strong sense of righteousness, with no guilt or weak points he might exploit to make an easy out. “You successfully conned the Yiling Patriarch into following you right into a trap.”
Wei Wuxian wondered if he could deny it.
“I don’t know, shijie, that doesn’t seem that hard,” the first woman said. “Isn’t he the kind of person to run head-first into danger at the first instance?”
“Head-first into danger, and like his tail’s on fire away from dogs,” the older woman agreed, and – damnit. There was clearly no denying it; they actually knew him. Though from where, he had no idea. “A-Hua, Jiangwen, let’s go – we don’t want to be late for our meeting.”
“I don’t suppose I can convince you to tell me who we’re going to go see?” Wei Wuxian tried, putting on his most charming smile. “Or, perhaps, who you are, and what you have against me…?”
“Jiang Jianwen you know,” the woman said, rather unexpectedly. “I’m Jiang Qiao, and this is Jiang Hua. Our shixiong is Jiang Zhou – he’s the one that makes Lan-er-gongzi lose his wallet every time he’s forced to visit Yunmeng.”
Wei Wuxian was almost distracted with the tantalizing prospects of stories about Lan Wangji. Almost.
“You’re all surnamed Jiang?” he asked, surprised: he might have believed it for Jiang Jianwen, maybe, he was young enough to be the son of someone in the last generation. But Jiang Hua and Jiang Qiao looked absolutely nothing alike either to each other or to Jiang Cheng, and at least Jiang Qiao was old enough that he should’ve recognized her if she’d been a Jiang. There’d been a lot of people in the old Jiang sect, even if you limited it to those surnamed Jiang, but he’d been Head Disciple back then – he’d known almost all of them.
“We’re adopted,” Jiang Jianwen said. He looked very proud. “Sect Leader Jiang took us into the family as part of the branch lines.”
Wei Wuxian had never once in his life wanted to have the surname Jiang, not even when he’d been mocked for not having it. He’d never even thought about it. Not ever.
He felt a stab of envy at the word family, though.
“He gave you his surname?” he asked, and tried not to feel jealous when they all nodded. “Oh.”
It made sense, he tried to tell himself as they walked through the back streets of the Lotus Pier. The Jiang sect had been demolished, and Jiang Cheng practically the only survivor but for whoever happened by coincidence to not be at home – the Jiang sect would need branch family members, and adoption made sense. There was no reason to resent the idea of Jiang Cheng giving the name he had always treated as being so precious to a branded former criminal, to a con man, to a commoner from the countryside, to a –
“You were a what?” Wei Wuxian exclaimed.
“A demonic cultivator,” Jiang Jianwen said bashfully. “Not a very a good one, though.”
Wei Wuxian wanted to say something to that. He didn’t know what, but something.
“Enough chatter,” Jiang Qiao said. “We’re here.”
Jiang Hua opened the door and Wei Wuxian stepped inside.
Then he tried to step back out, only to be crowded in by the others.
“No, no, no,” he said. “No, I was willing to play along until now, but this is a step too far. You don’t understand! She’s going to eviscerate me!”
Jiang Meimei – older than the teenager he remembered her being when she left the sect, but still unmistakable – grinned with her teeth bared.
“Oh good,” she said. “At least your brain is still working. Now come on and have a seat, and we’re going to talk about how you’ve been treating my baby cousin recently…”
363 notes · View notes
definitelyseven · 3 years
Text
hurts so good | twelve (final)
summary: growing up with Park Jinyoung was never easy and things are about to get worse when you’ve been asked to marry him
one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine | ten | eleven | twelve - final |
You sat down quietly across from him and next to your attorney. It had been three weeks since you last saw Jinyoung, three weeks since he agreed to the divorce. You only heard from him when he asked to meet to sign the papers.
“Thank you Mrs. Park for coming to meet us. My client said the both of you mutually agreed to sign today’s papers. Is that correct?” 
“Yes that’s correct,” you responded as Jinyoung’s lawyer slid over some papers. Your lawyer intercepts the papers and begins scanning the document. 
“My client is generously offering $20,000 a month for the next 40 years or a one time check of $10 million,” he revealed. You stared at Jinyoung in shock.
“No,” you denied. “No, I don’t want your money.”
“Mrs. Park, I urge you to reconsider this. It’s his responsibility to take care of you,” your lawyer reminded you.
“It’s Y/N and I can take care of myself,” you argued.
“How?” Jinyoung finally said. “You have no job, no house. Your father still gambles,” he exposed. 
“That is none of your concern. I will figure it out. I will find a job. I don’t want your money. I don’t want to owe you anything,” you continued to explain.
“Just take the fucking money, Y/N! Don’t be so stubborn,” he exclaimed. You glared at him. “I’m sorry,” he sighed, knowing he’s going to lose this battle against you.
“Moving on to the next thing-,” his lawyer began to speak before you interrupted him.
“I don’t want a single thing from him. I’m not interested in what else is on that list.” 
His lawyer looked over a Jinyoung, who had his arms crossed against his chest. He sighed again, nodding in agreement. He leans over to the table, “I want to talk to you alone.”
“No. My client will not be speaking with anyone without me present,” your lawyer declined.
“Don’t worry, we won’t be negotiating anything. My lawyer will leave to fix these papers, won’t you?” he instructed.
“Yes, that’s right. Mr. Lee, please follow me.”
“It’s alright. I’ll be okay,” you assured your lawyer. He nods leaving you alone with Jinyoung as he helps prepare the divorce papers. He stares at you in silence as you avoid his gaze. 
“You wanted to talk?” you asked him.
He sighed lightly before leaning forwards once again. “This may be the last time we ever speak to each other like this - face to face.”
You gave him a subtle smile, nodding in agreement. “I will always be thankful for you and your family. You saved us and that will never change, no matter what happens between us.”
“I appreciate that,” he said. “Father loved you, no matter how harsh he was.”
You smiled weakly, “He loved you too.”
There was another long silence between the both of you. Now that you think of it, you and Jinyoung never had a peaceful conversation before. If he wasn’t being mean to you, he was yelling at you. 
“I know Jisoo came to see you. I know she told you some stuff,” he said softly. “I should’ve been the one who told you and I’m sorry I never did. I’m sorry I never showed you.”
You held your breath. Never in a million years did you expect him to apologize.
“I hope the next person you love, you’ll be better to her than you were to me.”
His eyes began to swell, slightly turning pinkish. “She told me you thought I always loved her.” You looked down at your lap because you knew it was true even if they denied it. “Do you still believe that?”
“Look at where we’re at, Jinyoung. It doesn’t matter what I believe.” 
“It does! It does matter. I may have never showed or told you that I loved you but I never loved anyone else. Not once,” he confessed. 
“Every time we fought, you always ran to her. You always picked her, sided with her and I was the one in the way. What else was I supposed to think?” you questioned. 
Jinyoung sighed. “February 14, 2013.”
“W-what?,” you stuttered with tears in your eyes.
“It was our senior year of high school.” 
You remembered now. You had finally mustered enough courage to confess to Jinyoung. You hand-made heart shaped chocolates for him but he rejected you brutally even front of all your classmates.
“The night before - Jaebum stayed up all night making you chocolates. I overheard him confessing to the housekeeper that he was going to ask you to be his girlfriend. What gave him the right?” he asked, rhetorically.
“He never told me about this. I never received his chocolates,” you said, confused. 
“I was so angry at him. He took my father away from me and now he wanted you! He wanted to take everything...everyone away from me!” he shouted. “I knew I couldn’t let him have you so I had to beat him to it. I had to tell you I liked you before he did.”
“Then why did you reject me?” you asked. 
“I had this elaborate plan - to make you fall in love with me, to be together until Jaebum couldn’t handle it anymore and leave. But the moment I looked into your eyes that day, I didn’t have the guts to do it. I couldn’t confess to liking you out of spite,” he revealed. “But what I didn’t expect was for you to confess first.”
“You broke my heart then too.”
“I didn’t know if I liked you because I actually liked you or if I liked you to get back at Jaebum. You would’ve never forgiven me if you found out I confessed out of spite,” he said almost in tears. “I tried so hard to differentiate the two but I couldn’t, no matter how hard I tried. I didn’t know what to do and it drove me nuts. A couple of days later, it finally came to me. I thought if I was meaner to you, maybe...just maybe I would stop having those feelings for you. Maybe I could finally stop thinking about you.”
You stared at him quietly, taking in every word he said. Tears rolled down your face as the droplets of tears landed on the table. 
“It worked,” he chuckled, bitterly. “The meaner I was to you, the easier it was to forget you. And every time I did something nice for you, I had to do something ten times worse the next time. Seeing how much pain you were in...it broke me but it always reminded me that my intentions were never pure to begin with. That’s why I always went to Jisoo. I confided in her.”
“Why did you ask me to marry you then?”
“He had already beat me at marriage - marrying the girl Father chose. Nothing would hurt him more than knowing I had you and he could never. I admit I ended up using you,” he revealed as tears fall from the corner of his eyes. You lifted your head up, staring at the ceiling as tears continued to fall down the side of your cheeks. “I’m so sorry,” he apologized. 
“H-how can you say you love me when you used me?!” you sobbed. 
“I knew it was wrong! I regretted it instantly but it was too late. You needed the money...” he whimpered. “If I could go back and change it I would. I would’ve loved you properly, cherished you..” he begged. 
“God!” you whimpered to yourself. “Why did you do this to me?! I was happy! I had a boyfriend!” you cried, angrily.
“I know. I know. I’m so sorry,” he continued to apologize.
“I’m not some fucking reward you can claim when you feel like it! I loved you! I thought if I worked harder, tried harder, that you would start to love me! I was praying you’d change for me!” you continued to shout. “Are you that damaged that you had to break someone else to make yourself feel better?”
“I was 16! I never felt the way I felt for you with anyone in my life! How was I supposed to react? Tell me! What was I supposed to do?!” he shouted back.
You sobbed into your hand.
“I know this doesn’t justify all the shitty things I’ve done to you. You endured things no one should have to experience,” he explained.
“Why are you telling me this now?”
“Y/N, I’m telling you not because I want you to forgive me! I’m going to sign the papers regardless. All I wanted was to be honest about my feelings for once in my goddamn life,” he said. 
You blinked slowly, letting the remaining tears in your eyes fall. You took a deep breath in. “When were you able to tell?”
“Our wedding night,” he answered. “Watching you walk down the aisle in that white dress. You took my breath away and in that moment I knew. I knew I loved you this whole time. It was never about competing with Jaebum. I was just afraid to let myself fall in love.”
“If you loved me so much, why did you sleep with other women? Why did you cheat?”
“Because with them, I never had to worry about falling in love. They mean nothing to me,” he explained.
“But they don’t know that! They think you like them that’s why they sleep with you, Jinyoung.”
“They know I’m married.”
“To someone you don’t love. They think they can Mrs. Park one day,” you sighed. “Stop playing with people’s feelings. Don’t hurt anyone else,” you asked, nicely. You paused, “If there’s one last thing you can do for me is learn to let go. What your Father did to your Mother was unfair and cruel but you don’t have to repeat the pattern. Learn to love the people you’re supposed to love. You’ll find that you have more people on your side than you know.”
“Will you be?”
“Oh Jinyoung…” you called out as you reached for his hand. You gripped it tightly. “I will always be on your side even if I’m not physically there with you.”
There was a light knock on the door. You let go of Jinyoung’s hand and wiped the leftover tears on your cheeks away.
“Come in,” he called.
“The papers are finalized. All that’s left is your signature.” The lawyers handed you each a pen. You scanned through the document until you reached the bottom of the page.
“I know you don’t want money but it will always be here if you need it. You just call me, okay?” Jinyoung asked, softly. You nodded but you knew you would never be calling him.
You uncapped the pen and began signing with Jinyoung following suite until you reached the final page. 
This was it. No more Jinyoung.
“If we can do this over again, would you?” Jinyoung asked, spontaneously. “If you knew what you know now, would you still have said yes to me?”
You looked up from the papers and stared at him - taking in all his features one the last time. “Yes.” You scribbled your signature on the last page before standing up. “Goodbye Jinyoung. Take care.”
Four months. Four months of no pain, no tears, no Jinyoung. You moved away from the city to get away from the fast pace lifestyle, the busy streets and the people. You were content here. You spent your days helping an old couple sell fruit and pies in a small shop by a rest stop. The pay wasn’t nearly as much as a corporation but it didn’t matter to you. You could finally be yourself. You didn’t have to worry about being the perfect wife or worry if your husband loved you enough to come home that night. All that seemed trivial here. 
“How much are the apple pies?” you hear someone asked. You scurried out to the front to greet the customer. 
“They’re $5-” you began to respond before coming to a stop as you laid eyes on the man in front of you. “I- how did you know I was here?”
“I didn’t,” he responded. “I was taking your advice and finally letting go. I gave up my position at the company and decided to move here to live a more simple life.”
“Why here?”
“I-I don’t know...this was the first place I thought of,” he mumbled. “I guess I remembered you saying how much you wanted to move here when it was time to retire.”
“You remembered that?”
“Of course I do. I remember everything you told me even if it seemed like I wasn’t listening,” he explained. “So how much are the pies?”
“$5 each,” you said hesitantly as you handed him a pie.
“I honestly didn’t come here to purposely look for you. I know the last thing you wanted was to see me. I can leave if it bothers you,” he offered.
“No...who am I to not allow you to be here.”
“Okay then. I’ll see you around then,” he smiled before waving goodbye.
You returned the smile and watched him drive away. You thought you would be angry seeing him; maybe even feel hurt. But nothing. You didn’t feel any of those things. In fact, your heart raced at the sight of him. 
Maybe this was fate. Maybe it was God’s way of telling you this is your second chance. 
Whatever it was, no matter how it ends this time, you knew it wasn’t going to hurt as much as the first. 
293 notes · View notes
airashisakura · 3 years
Text
My last entry for @ssskmonth | Prompts used Festivals and Family
Kin
Summary: When Sasuke struggles with letting go of pain from his past, Sakura and Sarada remind him that he doesn't have to do this alone.
Rating: Mature
_
“Anata?”
Sasuke stopped dusting off the shelves and looked over in Sakura’s direction. He frowned though, seeing Sakura perched on a stool dangerously, trying to clean the cobwebs of their apartment.
“I was asking…” Sakura scrunched her face in displeasure. She hadn't realized when she had left with Sasuke on his journey that it could bring this much work.
A week ago, when they unlocked the door of their apartment, back after a year with their three-month-old daughter, they had realized making their home habitable again wasn't going to be easy. The exhaustion of their journey back to Konoha hadn’t left their souls, but the Uchiha couple prioritized cleaning over resting.
Sasuke walked over to her and steadied her wobbling stool.
“What?”
Sleep deprivation had left him cranky. He had hoped that Sarada's wailing would cease after they had moved from roads to Konoha. Although he was glad that she was more safe under a roof, it hadn’t stopped her from crying the whole night.
Sakura caught the irritation laced in his voice, and considered whether she should say what she was about to.
“Obon is in two days..." She spoke cautiously, busy with her work. "I was asking if you want to…” She trailed off again, not sure how to phrase this.
“Obon?” Sasuke looked up in her direction. He was about to ask her again, when he realized. “Obon.”
Sakura turned, facing him, and asked nervously, “Should we?”
In all these years, he had never celebrated Obon. When he was a child, he remembered his mother strictly following rituals, preparing to welcome the spirits of their clan's ancestors.
He realized that although he always carried his long gone family in his heart, he never had given any damn about the festival.
“Aah,” he agreed.
Sakura's face lit up with a wide grin, but that died off when they heard Sarada crying at the top of her lungs.
While Sasuke rushed to attend Sarada, Sakura wrestled with more dust and ended up coughing.
Although Sarada’s shrill cries bore holes in his eardrum, all the chaos of his new-formed family had settled down all the internal chaos that he had carried for years.
_
Sasuke stirred out of his slumber engulfed with warmth . Sakura's body was pressed against his back, her arm snuggly thrown around him. Sarada had been quiet after days, and he felt fully rested, refreshed after a sleep devoid of nightmares too.
The light filtering from the curtain told him it was still early, and Sakura's breaths on his neck made him want to wake her up and kiss her numb. He had lost count of the number of days he had felt her bare skin on his, slowly and passionately driving her crazy. The days and nights after Sarada’s birth went by changing diapers and trying to understand the meaning between different kinds of cries, which he hadn't quite mastered yet.
Sasuke was tempted even further when Sakura pressed her lips on his neck and murmured 'morning,' her pert nipples brushing against his muscular back. Sasuke suppressed a gasp, his twitching member, and the urge to reciprocate his wife's desire. He gently pried away from his wife's leg, and regretted it when Sakura retracted herself from him.
"Anata?" Sakura sat up with a myriad of emotions on her face — confusion, hurt and rejection.
Sasuke didn't want to make her feel like that.
"I… I'm going to visit my parents' grave."
Sakura nodded and smiled, her features relaxing.
Sasuke never thought that gulping down the guilt of neglecting his dead family could be that easy.
_
Sasuke sauntered through the path that led to his parents' grave. The place was cold and distant like his heart had been for many years. Neglected even, he mused.
He stopped when he found the stone that bore his parents' name. Uchiha Mikoto and Uchiha Fugaku — names engraved with such beauty that was ironic considering the way they had died. A surge of rage and emotions pumped through his veins in a way that he was too familiar with — it had made him a person of sins that he was still redeeming for.
He stood there unable to repress the painful memories that had seeped from his past like a poison. His surroundings reverberated with the screams and blood that painted his nightmares.
Years of redemption had seemingly healed his wounds, but the sharpness of the past always cut, and the wounds bleed as they always had.
Unable to anchor himself, he looked anywhere but his parents' name. His eyes darted across the ungrazed grass, wild flowers, and puddles formed by summer rain. Stubborn weeds creeping over his parents grave, like the past that was attached to him.
His eyes caught something. And there it is, he mused again. A small pink wildflower intertwined with weeds, facing the sun. A gentle breeze that made its petals gleam in the sunlight reminded him of Sakura's unwavering love. The love that had waited for him through his sins and redemption — love that assured him every day that he no longer was in the darkness alone — love that gave him Sarada.
He crouched down, sighing. The summer heat was getting unbearable, and beads of sweat rolled down from his forehead. This reminded he should get going. Sometimes Sarada got all fussy, and it was hard for Sakura to manage her alone. Although his heart was heavy when his eyes glided over the name of his parents again, he smiled thinking about his new family.
Sasuke traced his finger on kanji of his mother's name, dirt gathering on his finger tip. He picked up the rag that he had brought with him and scrubbed the dirt and mud from the stones. With every swipe of the rag, the images of lifeless bodies of his parents became clearer in his mind. His fingers twitched, but he did his work diligently. The dirt from his parents' name was gone now, like the blood from the wooden floor that had pooled out from his parents' bodies.
Shaking his thoughts off, he held his shirt sleeve with his teeth and rolled it upwards. He went on plucking the weeds, wishing if it was this easy to pluck away memories of his past. There was a hopeful part of him — a little part — thought that with time, the pain of his lost family would wash away, but maybe hope wasn't a thing for Uchiha Sasuke.
He bid adieu to his dead parents, and got up to leave. As he walked away, he looked back over his shoulder to get a peek of the pink flower that remained. The pink flower that had grown in his life — accepting him and his past.
_
As he reached the threshold of his house, he stiffened when he couldn’t feel the familiar chakras he was accustomed to.
He looked around and found Sakura had almost finished cleaning their house. Bookshelves no longer had cobwebs, the white sheets had been removed from the furniture, and the floor was polished.
“Sakura?”
He was answered by the empty hallways and a note. It was a note from Sakura that said she was going out for grocery shopping.
He ran fingers through his hair, sighing, and walked towards the kitchen. He decided to cook a proper lunch. They had been surviving on simple food after they had returned, courtesy of Sarada's fussiness. It amazed him sometimes how their child managed to command all their attention.
Sakura always jokingly complained that it was something Sarada definitely had inherited from him. Sakura boasted that she was a quiet infant, and her parents always backed her up. Sometimes he felt a tinge of jealousy at that.
He opened the fridge and grabbed the leftover rations that they had, and he remembered Naruto grumbling about something similar. He knew he shouldn't find that soothing, but he realized in that aspect he wasn't alone.
In fact, he wasn't alone at all anymore.
Sasuke delved into cooking, but as time ticked on, he got impatient. He decided to go out and look for them. Something made him scared that he couldn't pinpoint.
As he was going to turn the stove off, he heard the click of the door knob. He heard Sakura calling him and responded.
Relief washed through him as Sakura approached him. He had been worrying over nothing. Perhaps his heart was still as fragile as his younger self's. Too afraid to lose, yet too afraid to accept his weakness.
Sakura kept the bag of groceries, grinning widely at him before she complimented the smell of the food. He was captivated by her green eyes, but his daughter seemed to have his attention now. Sarada happily clapped her hands on seeing him and wiggled in her baby sling to reach for him.
Sasuke bent down, and Sarada reached for his cheeks and patted them with her small hands, grinning toothlessly. This was Sarada's way to embrace, Sakura had told him once. Sasuke kissed her little palm before straightening himself.
"When did you return? We were sort of feeling alone, so we decided to make a quick trip to the market. "Ne, Sarada-chan?" Sakura cooed, rubbing her nose on Sarada's head, and Sarada giggled, agreeing with her.
"But someone had more fun than she expected." Sakura tickled Sarada, and she joined her in fits of laughter.
A smile slipped past his lips, and all the heaviness that had settled in his heart from that morning began to dissipate.
"She seemed to be in a good mood," Sasuke commented, looking for something from the bag.
"Yes." Sakura hummed, sifting her fingers through Sarada's hair.
His eyes lingered on them, before he started grating ginger.
"Umm, Anata? Isn't that too much?" Sakura pointed out.
Sasuke nodded, but he added it to the pan and said, "Father always liked it this way."
Sakura blinked. She didn't know how to respond. Sasuke rarely talked about his parents, so she stood there just nodding.
The space between them stilled, with only sounds of food sizzling on the pan and Sarada's squeals.
"Father used to love the spice of ginger, so Mother used to cook like this," Sasuke explained.
"I see," Sakura replied, excitement spiking in her voice.
"Mother also added less Mirin than required," Sasuke went on, and Sakura listened raptly, watching him while he cooked Gyudon.
Sakura didn't miss the melancholy in his eyes when Sasuke said that Gyudon was his father's favourite, and it stirred Sakura's heart
Sakura knew the things which are gone always hurt, but she knew too it took time to heal them. So when Sasuke told her bits of his family, she was glad that Sasuke talked about them without any resentment — sharing his lost happiness with her. She wanted to thank him, so Sakura tiptoed, her arms wrapping around Sarada, and she pecked on Sasuke's cheek.
It was unexpected, and Sasuke stared wide-eyed at the contents in the pan, while the tips of his ears turned red.
"I'll remember this when I cook next time," Sakura blushed.
Sasuke nodded, smirking.
Sarada wiggled in her sling to reach for Sasuke again while Sakura giggled and commented on how restless she was growing.
The house, the people, and the meal he had once shared together with his parents were long gone for him, but now he saw himself in Sarada who was trying to get her father's attention like he used to. He realized time had its own way to fix things.
_
Sasuke watched the sky, summer clouds lazily drifting and strings of smoke whirling between them. The smell of smoke from the neighborhood mingled with the evening breeze, and he felt nostalgic.
His clan breathed fire, and where there was fire, there was smoke. He remembered tasting the bitterness of smoke that lingered on his tongue when his lungs had flamed out a great fireball in childhood. He’d been excited to share his experience, and Itachi had confirmed with his too gentle smile that he had felt the same way
It was a memory that had been long forgotten. Years and years of using katon jutsus and chasing his older brother for revenge had made him ignorant to these feelings that he had held precious in his childhood.
The orangish hue of the setting sun told him it was time.
It was the first day of Obon. He looked around and saw the lantern that was tied at the entrance of their house swinging with the wind along with a windchime.
The lantern will guide them home, Sakura had said when she had tied them.
He knew that too. His mother had told him during childhood while Itachi had set up the bonfire for mukaebi. He had complained that bonfires are for winters, not for summers. His mother had laughed and had corrected him.
Sasuke, this bonfire and lanterns are for the spirits of our ancestors to guide their paths back home.
He had shrugged back then, because he thought he wouldn't have to bother about this in future.
Sasuke set the twigs, and lit them using a small fireball jutsu.
He sat there, remembering that Obon during his childhood had never been so solemn. Lots of people visited during that time. He hadn’t remembered any of them, though Itachi remembered some of them. Sasuke had challenged Itachi: Just you see, nii-san, next time, I'm going to remember everyone's name. Itachi had chuckled and had flicked his forehead.
The next time hadn't ever come. Before he could add more people to his growing list of people he knew, Itachi had wiped out everyone. And then Sasuke was alone.
He realized after all these years how much he had missed his older brother. He always wanted to bury the feeling because it came with the realization that Itachi was dead because of him. Itachi was dead because of Konoha.
Itachi was dead because he wanted his otouto to live.
"Anata?"
Sasuke lifted his eyes from the flames to Sakura, who looked worried. He looked back to flames.
"Are you okay?"
Sasuke nodded. He knew they had spent enough time together for Sakura to know he wasn't alright. His eyes were fixated on flames, so he didn't notice the way Sakura's eyes softened when she sat beside him.
He didn't want to ask her, but he found himself talking anyway. "Do you think Itachi can find his way?"
For the second time in the day, Sakura blinked in confusion.
Sasuke clarified again, "He doesn't even have a grave."
For a second, Sakura felt like she couldn't breathe. She had never seen Sasuke so vulnerable before.
"This place… Konoha…" He gritted his teeth. "I- I don't know how to call Konoha my home after what they did to my clan… to Itachi."
"I can't," He said, his voice louder and filled with accusation.
But as soon as these two words left his mouth, his eyes widened in the realization of what he had done. He shut his eyes and apologized to Sakura.
He felt Sakura's palm on his left cheek. It reminded him of his daughter's gentle touch — that they were his home.
Sakura smiled when his mismatched eyes met her green, and spoke softly, "Hate it till you can love it back, Sasuke-kun."
_
Sasuke swallowed the soft moan that fell out of Sakura's plump lips before he moved down on her neck, leaving a trail of kisses. When their house turned silent from Sarada's cries, they both sought comfort in their bed, limbs tangled innocently. Sasuke was comfortable enough now to delve into his wife's gentle touches. Gentle touches soon turned greedy when he kissed her the way he had wanted to that morning. It wasn't too long before their clothes were scattered across the polished wood of the floor.
He nipped her neck, eliciting a whimper and a delicious clench of her walls around his pulsing cock. He groaned and pushed deeper into her wet velvety cunt. The air from the ceiling fan cooled their sweating bodies, but the heat where they were intimately joined made both their spines tingle.
Sasuke leaned down to capture her lips again, and Sakura reciprocated wantonly meeting with his thrust. They gasped for air when they parted, saliva smeared across the corners of their lips. Sasuke held his gaze with hers, which was always soft, assuring, and accepting. Like a wanderer on a cold night regarded the flames that kept him warm, Sasuke tried to emanate his gratitude for her through his mismatched eyes.
He inched deeper, relishing the warmth of her skin. Sakura's lips parted in a silent cry when he hit the spot that he knew made Sakura come undone. Their rhythm became more erratic, and the heaving and slapping of wet skin was driving Sasuke to his own finish.
Sasuke angled his hips and thrust roughly. Sakura shuddered, her nails digging deep in his bare shoulder. He closed his eyes, focussing on the pleasure unknoting in his belly, he pushed roughly again, and felt—
Sarada's whimpers reached their ears. His eyes snapped open reflexively like he was waking in the midst of a nightmare, and Sakura's grip loosened on him. Sakura winced as he reluctantly pulled out of her. He wasn't sure if it was because Sarada's cries intensified, or if it was because they’d been interrupted.
She smiled weakly and slid out of bed. Sasuke huffed and dropped onto the bed, watching Sakura hurriedly putting his shirt to cover her curves.
When he made his way towards them, Sakura was pacing along the room, cradling Sarada in her arms trying to calm her down.
"I fed her, changed her diapers, and still she is crying," Sakura said, expression etched with worry and irritation. Sarada shrieked louder, and Sakura's patience was waning thin.
Sasuke stretched his arm towards her, and Sakura handed the baby over. When he took her in his arm, rocked her and carefully nuzzled his nose on her forehead, she stopped crying. Somehow, it felt strange yet so good that someone needed him.
He was sure Sakura was red with envy and embarrassment when she mumbled something and walked away. He couldn't help himself but let out a chuckle, and Sakura turned and laughed too.
_
Konoha's streets were overflowing with families, people enjoying and dancing around the yagura stage to the beats of Taiko drums on the second day of Obon.
"Ino and I always loved dancing to this rhythm."
Sasuke didn't remember anything from his genin days. Maybe Sakura had told him back then, but he never paid attention to it like the other things he had missed while chasing blindly after revenge. This festival, this tradition, and Sakura were always there, and he had always been a piece out of the puzzle.
But Sarada with all her charm had made him fit in the puzzle. And now he and Sakura sat on the engawa, basking in the comfortable silence that they shared while the sound of Taiko drums reverberated with his heart beats.
Sakura held Sarada close to her body. He smiled, eyes falling on the Uchiha fan on her little back.
"I sprained my ankle the previous year. It was all stupid Ino's fault."
Sakura went on telling him about her Obon experiences while his eyes lingered on the swell of her chest, the bindings tugged down for Sarada to suckle. Sarada fed herself without any complaints, her little fingers clutching on folds of the beautiful green yukata Sakura was wearing.
The beautiful cherry blossom print on her green yukata accentuated her beauty, but it was the Uchiha crest that she sewed on her yukata in the afternoon that accentuated her beauty.
Sasuke's eyes trailed upwards to her exposed skin, and he noticed the hitch in her breath when his eyes stayed on the purplish mark he had given her the night before. They locked eyes, trapping her green with his mismatched ones.
Sakura blushed furiously under his gaze. Sasuke smirked and asked, "Want to go to the festival?"
_
The sound of heavy breathing disturbed the silence, as both of them came down from their high, basking in the afterglow. A sheen of sweat covered them like velvet, limbs entangled and limp. Sakura's yukata lay crumpled between their bodies, tugged upwards and sideways unceremoniously.
Sasuke had committed to memory the way her pink hair seamlessly smudged with the green of her yukata when he had pushed inside her from behind, losing himself to pleasure. His fingers lightly traced her pink nipples, and Sakura gasped.
She turned her head back, and Sasuke pulled her closer to his body, his palm now resting over her beating heart. Sakura smiled, and Sasuke realized there were so many colours that adorned his life now — the red of her lips, the pink of her hair, the green of her eyes, and that mirthful smile.
His heart skipped a beat when he felt Sakura's heart dancing under his palm, synchronising with his. Their lips found their way to each other, the uchiwa on the Sakura's garment silently observing their love.
_
A wisp of smoke rose into the air while twigs in the bonfire crumbled down to ashes. Sasuke sat in front of the extinguished bonfire, looking above at the dark sky.
The moon hid behind the clouds and stars twinkled, trying hard to compensate for the overcast skies. A breeze touching his skin gave him a familiar feeling. He had spent more time under open skies wandering than under a roof with a family. However, tonight he felt the same heaviness that he had carried for a long time.
After they had dinner, Sakura had reminded him that it was the last day of Obon. Reluctantly, he had lit the okokuri-bi — the bonfire that sent the spirits back to their resting place. Maybe he didn't want to part with his dead family. Maybe holding on to the illusion where his father, mother and brother were with him was easier.
The breeze swept the hair that covered his eyes, his mismatched orbs growing wet. It wasn’t because of anger anymore, though. It just hurt. He clutched at his chest, fingers digging into his shirt, trying to soothe the pain that was there. An invisible pain that he only owned — that Sakura and Sarada couldn't replace.
"Sara-chan, did you like it?"
Sasuke snapped out of his thoughts as Sakura approached him. Sarada fiddled with a toy that Sakura bought recently for her. Sarada cooed in excitement, and Sakura giggled.
When she reached closer to him, Sakura stretched out her hand towards him. Words were not their way, and Sakura smiled gently, coaxing him to take her hand.
And Sasuke did.
Because there were things Sakura and Sarada couldn't replace, but he could relive and recreate memories with them. Severing bonds would never ease his pain, he knew now; instead, new bonds would help him embrace the old ones.
They were there for him — he wasn't alone, and he didn't need to do this on his own.
_
FFN | AO3
Obon is a Japanese custom to honor the spirits of one's ancestors. This custom involves a family reunion holiday during which people return to ancestral family places and visit and clean their ancestors' graves when the spirits of ancestors are supposed to revisit the household altars. It has been celebrated in Japan for more than 500 years and traditionally includes a dance, known as Bon Odori.
Credits: Inspired from Warm by @catflorist . For those who haven't read, please read this wonderful piece.
Thanks to @fm-white for telling me more about rituals of Obon.
Thanks for @fictionalquacker's headcanon that Fugaku loves beef, which helped me making an assumption that it could be Gyudon. Also thanks to lovely @birkastan2018 for giving some tips about cooking Gyudon 💪. A big thanks to @theredconversegirl for naming my fic 🥺. Believe me, I would be forever grateful to you for this❤️
Thanks to @something-like-air for beta-ing this. 🤗
Last but not the least, @thatsakurastan :") with her constant support and nagging, I was able to complete and post this fic. You deserve big slabs of chocolate!🍫🍫🍫
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twinklelilstarkey · 3 years
Note
hi! can i please make a request with rafe using prompt “Tell me about your day.” 🥰
“Tell me about your day” - Rafe Cameron
A/N.: Of course, baby. Hope you like this.
DO NOT REPOST, REWRITE OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORK!
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Rafe really likes hanging out with his dad. When it’s just them, at least, since he feels pretty left out whenever Sarah, Wheezie, or, god, Rose is in the boat with them.
That is solely because the 3 of them never liked the idea of fishing all that much, therefore, the whole family always has to leave hours early all because they want to leave. Which in other words means: less time between Rafe and his dad, as well as any well spent time on his Saturday, because of all the whining.
So, yes, whenever the Cameron men are alone, Rafe associates it with a good time. Also as the time when he can speak to his dad and try to get some more communication into their relationship. Which usually does happen and does usually work.
Well, not today.
Ward Cameron woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. He was in a bad mood right as the sun rose, exactly when they were supposed to leave the house. And for the first few hours, he didn’t talk to his son, he just stayed far away from him, on the other side of the boat, sipping his coffee while Rafe got everything ready to start their usual fishing Saturday.
He did start talking some time later, but to be quite honest, Rafe would’ve preferred him to just not talk at all and stay in his silence and in his corner of the boat for the rest of the day. Right as he opened his mouth, the theme of conversation was Rafe’s imperfect academic life and how he still hasn’t gotten any letters back from colleges accepting or rejecting him.
And the fact that he sighed loudly at those words did not make anything any better for him. All because he exhaled slightly bit loud, Ward took that as “Oh, so I’m boring you now?”.
Rafe did surprise himself by not bittering back to his dad and by staying silent the whole time, looking at the water and just letting his mind run free on his own world.
But let's just say that when you’re in a boat, with no reception, Wi-Fi, and surrounded by only water, sunrise to sunset seems to go by slower than normal.
It was a very long day.
Now, he’s walking down back to the house. The skies around him are colored with all types of pinks and oranges, but honestly, he couldn’t care less. He just wants to be as far away as possible from his dad at this point.
Before Ward could even step out of the boat, Rafe was already up on his bike, helmet on his head, and ready to drive off. And as he did, the French doors of his home open to show Rose, ready to welcome her husband home.
Thank god he’s out of there already.
The drive to your house was quick, so quick that Rafe wasn’t even able to reflect on what happened back on the boat.
You’re laying on your bed, wearing nothing but an old shirt and some shorts as you try to fight off the summer heat that has been practically melting you all day. You’re laying on your stomach, legs naturally up as you lean your cheek to your fist and watch random videos on your laptop.
To say you almost screamed at your bedroom door opening so suddenly is a very large understatement. You felt like you had a small heart attack to be quite honest.
Rafe stands by your door, closing it right behind him as he throws his hat to a corner and, right after, he throws himself on your bed to lay beside you.
“You okay?” You ask him.
He doesn’t answer so you just close your laptop, sit up and turn your position around to lay back down facing him. Rafe opens his eyes as you move around and he doesn’t say anything, nor does he smile - like he usually does.
“Want to talk about it?” You try again, laying your head on your pillow, now laying on your back.
He lifts himself off the mattress slightly and shakes his head at you, still not saying anything. When you’re about to ask again, he lays his head over your chest and wraps his arms around you.
The sudden request of affection surprised you a bit, but you do as asked. You wrap your arms around him and lay a kiss on the top of his head, over his hair, and right as you do it, he speaks.
“Can you tell me about your day?” He asks you.
“Uh, yeah? But I didn’t do mu-” You try to say, but he interrupts.
“It's fine. I just want to think about something other than my dad.” He says, voice muffled by your shirt.
You lay another kiss over his hair and move a bit under him before starting to talk.
“Uh, so...” You say, extending the syllable while thinking, “I woke up at like, 10ish? Had breakfast with my mom-”
“What did you eat?”
You grin at his question and answer quickly.
“Pancakes.”
He lets out a small groan at your words and your teasing tone and your grin stretches into a smile. He could kill to be invited for breakfast again and eat those heavenly pancakes.
He’s just so tired of Rose’s god damned healthy smoothies.
“Then I watched her favorite show with her. At least until we had to go get lunch...” You stop to see if Rafe questions what you ate again, but he doesn’t, “We ate pizza, nothing too exciting.”
He groans again and you smile at him.
His day consisted of sandwiches and drinking water, you can’t blame him.
“There’s leftovers if you’re interested.” You offer and he lifts his head from your chest to look at you.
“Really?” He asks and you nod.
“Yeah, they’re by the fridge, I think.”
As soon as your sentence ends, Rafe plants a kiss on your cheek and flights up from the bed, sprinting out of your room, down your stairs, and into the kitchen while you just laughed at him.
His eyes lay over the cardboard box and when he opens it, he feels like he’s in heaven. 
After heating up the food on a plate, Rafe sprints up the stairs and you’re still on your bed, now on your phone.
“Please continue.” He says, regaining your attention.
He closes the door again and sits on the chair beside the bed on your desk, ready to start eating and continue to listen to you.
“Continue with what?”
“About your day.” He says before taking his first bite, “What happened after lunch?”
You throw your phone aside and start talking again, all of it while staring at your boyfriend, who is inhaling the food all satisfied and happy. He seems interested in your average summer vacation day, which surprised you. 
Even when you told him that your neighbor had come over, he was excited and asking questions.
But for him, he just felt relief. He’s not thinking about his dad. Not thinking about his sisters and stepmother. Or even whatever his dad told him in the boat. His mind is on you only, as well as all the kinds of gossip you got today. And that is the most relief anyone can give him.
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Sorry it took me so long to write this.
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keyboardink · 3 years
Text
“truths and dares”
Kairi plays matchmaker for you, trying to set you up with everyone except herself. A game of "Truth or Dare" exposes your inexperience and your crush on her.
pairing: kairi “valkyrie” imahara x reader / media: apex legends
genre: eventual fluff / word count: 2k / rating: pg-13 / warnings: swearing and mentions of alcohol
a/n: another little friends to lovers thing with less angst. if you have any requests, feel free to shoot me an ask. if you like this, check out more of my writing here!
Kairi sat across from you, cross-legged on the rug in her apartment's living room. She took a sip of a slightly spiked drink before she asked, "Truth or dare?"
"Truth," you replied. You wanted to play it safe around her; you know how mischievous she could be. Last time you two had a sleepover like this, she almost made you borrow her jets to jump off the building. When you refused, she then promptly proceeded to do it herself, making a big show out of flying as you watched. She said she would've caught you if you had jumped, but you knew you would've turned into a mess of shaky hands and tumbling words in her arms. Just the thought of her being that close to you, of her saving you like that was enough to make your cheeks flush.
"How was your date yesterday?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.
Maybe you should've picked dare.
This was the subject you had been avoiding for the last 34 hours. She asked about it every time she got the chance, and you were running out of ways to avoid the subject. Every single text from her in the past day asked you about this date, which you had only gone on because Kairi had set you up with a mystery girl. "She's a babe," Kairi had said. "You two would be amazing together. Total power couple." She said the same thing about the past four girls before.
She always tried to matchmake you with others, but little did she know the only person you wanted to go on dates with was her. You were crushing on your wingman.
You looked at the floor, suddenly interested by a chip crumb that you assumed must've dropped while you guys were snacking earlier. You didn't want to tell her that you had softly rejected this mystery girl almost as soon as you two sat down at the café. You didn't want to tell her that none of these dates were ever going to work out, because the only person you wanted to be with was her. You didn't want her to find out how inexperienced you were, how you'd never even kissed a girl before, how--
"Hello? Earth to [Y/N]?" She waved a hand in front of your face, snapping you back to the conversation. "You can't avoid it forever, you know." She spoke as if she had read your mind.
"It was fine," you said with a shrug.
"Oh, c'mon!" She kicked her leg out, lightly hitting your knee. "You've been avoiding it for days and that's all you give me? I need details!" She leaned forward, returning to the criss-cross position. She rested her chin in her hands with her elbows propped up on her knees, like she was about to watch a movie she had waited her whole life for. Her eyes glimmered with interest and intent. You shifted under her gaze, suddenly aware of how the corners of her lips were turned up, how her shirt was starting to slip down and expose more of her collarbone, how she looked at you. "Pleeease?" She whined, pouting and giving you puppy-dog eyes.
"It was nothing special. Just like all of the other dates you set me up with."
"You didn't even think she was cute?"
"She was cute, just... not my type."
"Bullshit." She leaned back, taking another sip.
"I'm serious!" Defensiveness caused your voice to crack.
"Okay, you know what? I take back my Truth for you," she said.
"You can't do that. You already asked me the question, and I answered it! So it's my turn."
"Your answer was wimpy, so that means I get a do-over."
"Kai, that's so not fair," you protested.
"Your new question is: why do you hate all the chicks I try to set you up with?"
"No." You crossed your arms over your chest. "I'm not answering that. You get one question per turn, and it's my turn to ask you."
She rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine. Shoot."
"Truth or dare?" You asked, planning your next statement like a strategic attack. If she picked dare, you'd dare her to stop setting you up with random girls, and she always picked dare.
"Truth," she said with an ounce of arrogance. Okay, maybe she didn't always pick dare. She just wanted to be difficult. Classic Kairi.
You paused for a second, rethinking your plan before speaking again. "Why do you keep trying to set me up with people?"
She drummed her fingers against her leg, thinking the answer through. Your eyes were drawn to her thighs, the way her fingers pressed against her own skin and seemed to sink in like it was a pillow, the way her shorts were riding up from her moving around. You swallowed hard and forced your attention to return to her face, hoping she hadn't noticed you staring.
"Because you're hot shit," she said. "You deserve some hot girl to have fun with, you know?"
"Why don't you focus on getting yourself a date? I don't hear anything about you finding a hot girl to have fun with." You scrutinized her answer, genuinely curious as to why her own logic didn't apply to herself.
She shook her head. "Nope, one question per turn, right?" You groaned at the rule you had so adamantly enforced a minute ago. She smiled at your annoyance. "So, my question from earlier. Why do you hate everyone I try to set you up with?"
You searched your brain for an excuse, for anything that would cloak the real reason behind it all. "I'm not good at dating," you answered. It wasn't necessarily a lie, just an attempt at hiding that you hadn't ever had a real date before.
She saw right through it.
Her eyes widened. "Oh," she whispered. "You haven't-"
"Hey, one question per turn, right?" You cut her off, the words spilling out almost frantically. Your abruptness surprised both of you.
She was still quiet from the realization. You could only hope she hadn't also put together the whole "crush" aspect of it, and that she thought this was only about your inexperience. She nodded and leaned back, going easy on you. She could tell you weren't too fond of this conversation and decided to leave it be for the moment.
"Truth or dare?" you asked, shifting your legs.
"Dare."
You tried to think of something that would yield ridiculous results, something that would completely redirect the topic. "Show me the last thing in your search history."
"Oh, God," she laughed, pulling out her phone. She opened it to her most recent webpage and showed it to you. There was a page of results underneath the search-bar's heading which read "how to remove pasta sauce stains from blankets".
"Oh my God, Kairi!" you exclaimed, giggling.
"I was just eating on my bed! I was lazy, okay? Don't judge me."
You two shared a moment of laughter, and you let your worries and insecurities slip away for the time being. In that moment, you were just friends, laughing your asses off over a game of "truth or dare." There were no risks to be taken, no secrets to hide. Then, your giggles eventually dissolved and the truths came rushing back to you. You glanced at Kairi, who felt the nervous tension in the air, but she wasn't one to drop things completely.
"Hey," she said comfortingly, reaching over to place a hand on your leg. Your skin felt electrified upon her touch. "I'm sorry if I crossed a line, but it's okay to be inexperienced, you know. We all start somewhere. And sometimes, some of us don't go too far after our first. Some people find the love of their life right away and don't ever touch another person on the planet after that. Some of us like to have a bit more fun." She winked.
"Like you?" you asked, your voice sounding innocent and lost, like a hand stretching out for guidance.
"I used to." Her voice was casual as she leaned back on her hands. "I dunno, haven't really been feeling the fun life anymore. Kinda waiting for that special someone, you know?"
You nodded, understanding. You shared that feeling. It was part of the reason why you didn't want to go around messing with other girls, why you avoided all of the dates she set up for you. You two sat in comfortable silence, soaking in the air of the moment and listening to the cars outside.
After a minute, Kairi spoke again. "It's my turn, isn't it?"
"Mhm." You tried to conceal any leftover nerves that hadn't been calmed by her words, but the idea of her getting your last secret out of you made your heart race quicken.
"Well, truth or dare?"
"Dare," you replied. You suddenly felt somewhat courageous, but part of you also just wanted to avoid any more questions about your nonexistent love life and any possibility of revealing the crush you had on her.
She looked at you and smiled. There was a hint of something in the way her eyes sparkled, but you couldn't discern what it was. "I dare you to kiss me."
Your heart leapt into your throat. You couldn't say anything in response. She spoke up to fill the silence and ease your nerves. "You can just use it as practice for the next girl. I'll teach you how to do it, all right?"
"But I..." You tried to still your racing thoughts, but they were a carousel too fast for you to get off of. "I- I thought you were, uh, waiting?  For that special someone, right? Wasn't that what you said?"
"Yup." Her expression didn't change. Her gaze flickered down to your lips, making your heart beat even faster.
"But, Kairi, I-"
"[Y/N], you are that special someone," she said. She cupped your cheek in her palm. Your hand reached up to hers in surprise, touching it to make sure that this wasn't a dream like the ones you'd imagined this whole time. You relaxed against her touch. You felt your body slow down, soaking in her touch and every romantic bit of the moment. She could tell by the way you melted in her hands that you felt the same way about her. This wasn't going to be practice for the next girl. There wasn't even going to be a next girl. You both knew it was only about you and her.
She leaned in with a smile, your faces only inches apart. "So, are you taking the dare or  chickening out?"
You puckered and kissed her harder than you intended, causing a slight ache to start where your inner lips collided against your own teeth. You immediately pulled away, shocked and embarrassed, and mumbled out some apologies. She slid her hand down your cheek so that it was under your chin. She tilted your chin upwards, forcing you to focus on her.
"Look at me. Follow my lead, okay?"
She leaned in again, meeting you since you were now nervous to make the first move. You watched as she parted her lips slightly, allowing yours to sink in the gap between them. You parted yours as well, making the kiss sweeter and softer than just a puckered peck. She tugged gently on your cheek, pulling you towards her just enough to close any spaces between your mouths. She moved her lips against yours after a few moments, starting a second kiss without ever breaking the first. You couldn't tell where her mouth ended and yours began as they melted into one another seamlessly.
You pulled away when it got hard to breathe through your nose. She giggled at your gasp, another small sign of inexperience, and smiled at you. "How was that?" she asked.
You were breathless, both literally and figuratively. You felt like you were floating, completely in a daze after what just happened. "It was really, really good. Thank you."
She blushed at your compliment, but laughed at your innocence. "I'm honored to have been your first," she replied with pride. "You're a fast learner. Not bad at all."
Your cheeks flushed. "Oh, I don't know about that."
"Hmm, I think I'll be the judge of that," she said as she leaned in to kiss you again.
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sup-hoes-its-me · 3 years
Text
Adore You (Yamato x Reader)
A/N: hi guys. Yamato is your secret admirer and you are desperate to find out who's been leaving all these gifts at your doorstep. Civilian reader. Will be two parts, and since i just found out i have the coronavirus and cant leave the house, i’ll be putting out the second part very soon.
Ps i headcanon that yamato would be very shy and awkward with his crush. i also think that when he is nervous he definitely has really sweaty hands. idk thats just the vibe i get from him lol. please enjoy.
Word count: 4500
Y/N walked down the street after a long day of working in the bakery, kneading dough and icing cakes and sweets. It was a great job, and she really enjoyed the company of the two elderly owners. In her arms was another small picnic basket filled with sourdoughs and garlic loaves and cinnamon raisin buns. Those leftovers served as her breakfast, lunch, and dinner most days and it saved a lot of money on groceries.
Sometimes, she gifted the bread to friends and family though, like tonight.
As she walked the bustling streets, people walking home from work for the night, she noticed a couple of familiar faces sitting in the windows of a nearby restaurant. Feeling a little social, she walked into the restaurant and turned the corner, walking through the tables and past other booths full of people talking and drinking. It was busy tonight in Konoha, everyone getting ready for the weekend.
She came to a stop beside their table, and shifted so her basket rested in the slight curve of her hip. With her free hand she waved to the men, a small smile gracing her lips.
“Kakashi, Yamato,” she chirped, “I saw you guys in the window on my way home from work and thought I’d stop in to say hello.”
“Y/N. What a pleasant surprise.” Kakashi hummed, peering over his glass of golden liquid at his friend, who he could tell was struggling to figure out what to say or do. Yamato wasn’t normally nervous; he was very cool headed. How else would he become such an important Anbu member? But around Y/N, this woman with flour dusted in her hair and the smell of cinnamon and chocolate on her clothes, he crumbled. Just that smell alone could make Yamato lose his composure. And Kakashi knew that very well. “As a matter of fact, we were just talking about you.”
Yamato coughed on his drink, covering his mouth with his arm to keep from spitting up on the table. Even if they were just talking about her, it was completely uncalled for for Kakashi to stab him in the back like that. He turned to face the young woman who looked down at him with curiosity in her eyes.
“Really? What about?” she questioned, raising a brow.
He averted his eyes to the table again where his hand rested clutching at the glass. “We were just discussing the bakery,” he explained sheepishly, a hand going to rub the back of his neck. He felt the stress coming on, and sweat was beginning to gather on his palms. He felt ill, and more importantly, upset with the friend sitting directly across from him, smirking under that damn mask.
What an evil bastard.
“Mind if I join you guys? I could definitely use a drink.” She motioned to the seat next to Yamato, and he scooted closer to the wall to make room for her. She made sure her basket was sealed and secure before reaching over the table to Kakashi. “Can you sit this next to you? I don’t wanna take up the whole table.”
“No problem.”
She slid into the seat beside Yamato, and he realized just how small their table really was. The chair was clearly made for one person, or maybe two small people. They were just inches away. He could literally feel the heat of her thigh beside his. He was losing his mind, he was sure of it. There was absolutely no reason to act or think this way just because of a woman, a little baker from the village. No reason. It was inappropriate.
He took a deep breath and sipped on his drink. Everything was cool. Y/N L/N was cool.
“What kind of goods are you bringing home tonight?” Yamato asked calmly.
“Uh, lets see. A sourdough loaf and a garlic rosemary loaf. Also, I have about eight cinnamon buns in there,” she listed off the top of her head, “Why? You wanna take some home with you, because that’s fine. I’m not gonna eat all of it.”
“No, not this time.”
“You, Kakashi?”
“Yeah, I’ll take whatever.” It was a free meal for the next day? How could he say no to that?
The waitress came around, and Y/N ordered a tall glass of some sweet drink, something she knew wouldn’t taste like shit but would get her all warm and cozy quick, fruit juice covering up the taste of poison. “So, what were you guys talking about before I came around? I didn’t mean to interrupt you.”
“It’s good you came around, actually. We could use a woman’s opinion here.” Yamato glared at Kakashi, pleading with everything he had for the copy nin to just leave it alone. Kakashi was set in his goals though, and pushed forward with what he was saying. “It’s about Tenzo.”
An even brighter smile grew on her lips, one full of mischief and curiosity. “Oohoho? I see. What’s got you men stuck?” She loved to gossip, it was just something so interesting in her mundane life. Surely, it wasn’t as interesting to shinobi who almost die all the time and always have something to do, but for a village girl who goes home every night to read and eat bread, and then go to work where she just makes and sells said bread, a bit of juicy personal information really intrigued her.
“It’s honestly not a big deal-”
“Our boy here, he’s got a crush.”
Her eyes widened and suddenly, she felt the urge to down even more of her drink. He was interested in someone? She never expected that. He was always so quiet and calm, and kept to himself. He didn’t seem like the type to ever care about someone in that way. She sighed, taking a long sip on her drink, which tasted like peaches and oranges. At least it was sweet enough to help her curb the impending sadness.
Maybe she was stupid for it, but she cared for Yamato. He was such a sweet and kind man, so earnest and gentle. He was everything good about her mornings, when he would walk in and ask for the same hot cross bun to start his day. He would smile and compliment the cake decorating she was working on, and tell her about his missions and what he had to do for the day.
Perhaps Y/N had the tiniest of crushes on Yamato. It was something she would never reveal to anyone else, but it was true. She couldn’t deny herself that fact.
Kakashi stared at the woman, gauging her reaction to the statement. From the way she immediately went to sip away half of the drink in her glass, and the way her shoulders curled in on themselves, he could guess how she was feeling. He wasn’t usually a fan of meddling in other people’s business, but he was beginning to feel tired of Yamato complaining day in and day out about how he could never get the girl or express his feelings. He was afraid of rejection, as sad as that might be.
He was just there to give them a push in the right direction.
“I see.”
“What do you think he should do? What do the civilian girls like?”
This crush was just another civilian. It would be one thing if he fell in love with a kunoichi, someone she would never be able to compete with, but the thought of him choosing another normal woman over her, the envy practically oozed from her pores. What did this other girl have that Y/N didn’t?
Y/N ordered another drink when the waitress walked by. And then another after she drank the second one. Might as well get more down and drown out these jealous thoughts.
Meanwhile, she listed off things that random women normally like when men do for them, things she didn't really care about like chocolates and asking them out to dinner and giving them stuffed animals. Boring things. Things they all already knew. Kakashi agreed that the advice was kinda bland, and he could have come up with that easily.
Yamato eyed her down nervously as she practically chugged the rest of her drink. The woman wasn’t a big drinker, just a couple innocent cocktails here or there, never with the intention of getting drunk.
“You okay, Y/N?”
“Yes, I’m perfectly fine,” she told him smoothly. “Anyway, I’m not done telling you all about us village girls.”
The third drink came by and she sighed, taking another long sip. At least it tasted good, that made it easy to drink and drink and drink.
“Maybe you should slow down.”
“Maybe you should worry about yourself. I’m grown. I can handle myself, Yamato.” He felt a pang in his chest at her sharp words, ones that he’d never really heard directed toward him. She scolded Kakashi on the daily for being a pervert, but only kind words met Yamato’s ears previously. “Anyway, about this girl. Have you tried getting her anything as a gift? The things I listed before? Love notes? That sorta thing?”
He shook his head. “Well, no. I haven’t tried anything yet.”
“That’s the thing about you, Tenzo. You’re so modest. If you want the girl, you need to go in and get her. You need to show her what she means to you, since you can’t bring yourself to just outright tell her.”
“The whole bold displays of affection aren’t my thing.”
She hummed, her head lolling from side to side as she twirled the straw of her drink in between her fingers. “Maybe you should try some roundabout approach since you’re so scared of rejection. Send her anonymous letters and gifts, give her little clues that it’s you and see how she reacts.”
“Like a secret admirer?"
“Exactly! That’s sooo romantic. I wish some guy would do that shit for me.”
Kakashi raised a brow. “Oh, really?”
“Of course. I’m almost 27 and I’ve never had a long lasting relationship. I just want some guy to really, I don’t know, just love me. Love who I am, not hook up with me for my body or-or only pretend to like me for coupons on bread,” she complained, quite loudly as well. “Fuck those guys and their bread discounts...”
“Y/N-”
“I’d suggest you do something like that for your crush. Make her feel like you really care about her mind and soul.” Y/N clutched her hand over her heart and squeezed the front of her dress. “So many men nowadays act like horny teenagers, and us ladies are sick of it.”
She really did not need to go into such detail, and Yamato could tell she was drinking too much. Y/N would never say these things aloud if she were completely in her right mind. He felt rude just sitting there letting her rant on and on, exposing her own feelings to the table. But at the same time, he was grateful to know what she wanted in a lover. She never really let on what her romantic life was like, other than single for the most part.
That is what he and Kakashi were discussing before she came around. He was desperate to sweep her off her feet and woo her, to make revealing his feelings easier. Kakashi told him to just go to the bakery and tell her right then and there, but that was just too bold. He wasn’t going to go in without a plan, it was irrational.
“Yamato, I’m telling you, if this woman rejects you, she’s fucking stupid. You’re a catch. You and Kashi over there, both of you could get any woman you want, and that’s a fact.” the woman waved her hand to emphasize her point, only to knock the rest of her fourth drink over into her lap, sticky syrup soaking into her apron and through to her skirt. “Oh man.”
“I think it’s time for you to head home, little miss Y/N,” Kakashi chimed in, “This is exactly why we don’t bring you to bars, you know.”
“Shush. I am fine.”
Yamato sighed, motioning with his hands for her to move to the edge of the seat. He rolled his eyes at her words, knowing she was talking out the ass. “Yeah, yeah. Just get up, Y/N. I’m taking you home.”
Both men were surprised when she lifted her hand and pushed him away from her. Her glare was intense, anger behind those eyes. “No! Not you. I want Kakashi to walk me home.” The man was taken aback by the harshness in her tone. She was normally calm tempered, but her head was spinning and she was obviously growing moody.
“That’s fine by me. Yamato, you’ll pick up the bill for us and uh, clean this mess, right?” Kakashi smirked as he slid out from the booth and picked up her bag of baked goods. She followed suit, climbing out of her seat and grabbing onto the shinobi’s arm tightly. He really couldn’t care any less about her nonsense. It had been so long since they became friends, he’d seen her in every mood imaginable, and much drunker than this. He’s walked her home more than a few times in their past years.
“Curse you, cheap-ass.”
“Gotta go.”
With that, the white haired man walked out the restaurant with a woman in tow. They lived in the same direction, so he started down the street as she stumbled after him, tripping occasionally on pebbles. He felt bad for his friend, really. But the answer was clear as day now. Y/N cared for Yamato a lot more than she let on. It was just up to one of them to make a move. He couldn't do everything for them.
She tripped along beside him, letting her head fall against his shoulder a few times. Her eyes slid up to the man’s masked face, and he felt her hands begin to quiver a bit around his arm, just a tiny bit, but it was still there. Those little, very-telling, tremors.
“What’s wrong, Y/N?” he asked gently, knowing she would immediately spill whatever was stuck on her mind.
“Kashi, why does Tenzo want some other village girl?” she questioned, her cheeks puffing out and her eyes getting watery with tears. “Why doesn’t he want me? I want him so badly, it hurts right here.” she placed her free hand over her stomach and gagged. “I might throw up, it hurts so much.”
“Trust me, it’s gonna be okay,” he hushed, a tiny smile on his lips. He didn’t want to reveal too much to her, but it was just so amusing pulling the strings like this. Two of his friends, one a subordinate and the other a sneaky baker, falling for each other right in front of him. With all the work piling up, this was definitely a refreshing take.
“Also, you shouldn't throw up. It'll burn your throat, you know.”
She nodded, and just clutched onto her stomach as they made their way down the narrow alleyways toward her small apartment. He unlocked the door for her when she struggled to fit the key into the tiny hole that blurred together with everything else. He was a good friend, she thought, and made a mental note to thank him next time she saw him. Well, she tried to make a mental note, but when her body hit the mattress in the corner of her small studio, she found herself drifting away.
__________
God, her head hurt so badly she thought her skull was cracking open right then and there, as she lifted her head from her pillow. Light shined in through the window only to make things worse than before. She looked around the room and noticed that her coat was hung up properly on the hook and her shoes were sitting by the door. Her basket rested atop her counter.
Most importantly, on her nightstand sat a glass of water and a couple pills, ready for her to take the moment she woke up. Kakashi or Yamato must have walked her home and put her to bed. They were very nice men, she enjoyed having them as friends, she just worried she had made a drunken fool of herself last night in front of them. She rarely drank heavily, for that reason. She couldn’t even remember what happened, just that she met them at the restaurant and then the rest fell empty in her mind, little images blending together until she couldn’t decipher a thing that happened. She was more than ashamed.
How could she lose control of herself so casually, she wondered. She never even wanted to drink, much less enough to give her this searing headache. Something must have happened last night that influenced her decisions. Maybe she had a drinking contest with Kakashi like that one time before. If so, that was completely uncalled for on the man’s part. He knew her tolerance.
Nevertheless, she needed to get ready for work. A hangover wasn’t enough to heed the workings of the bakery.
She took the pills, and threw off her covers, walking over to her counter to take out one of the cinnamon rolls, taking a big bite to curb her hunger pains. After taking a moment to compose herself, she got ready for work. If she was late, she knew the owners would be forgiving, but she still felt bad regardless. She was going to walk in looking like a complete disaster.
As she headed out her door that morning, she stumbled on something sitting right at the foot of her doorstep on the welcome mat. Resting there, in a tiny little ceramic pot, stood a bonsai tree, trimmed and cared for perfectly. Her eyes scanned the area for who could have set it there, but met only empty space.
Hesitantly, she picked it up and brought it into her home. There was no note attached, nothing to signal who’d given it to her. Just a little tree that she would put on her window sill. It was strange, she had to admit that, to receive an anonymous gift at such an hour. She’d have to ask her friends about it later on to see if one of them had given it to her, for reasons she didn’t know.
But as the days went by, and those days turned into weeks, she continued to receive gifts every few days. More tiny trees in pots, sometimes flowers in little glass vases. None of them at first had anything attached until the most recent piece which when she picked it up to take into her home, a folded piece of paper sat beneath the vase. She made sure to pick it and put it in her apron to read on her break when she went to work. She didn’t have the time when she woke up only about 20 minutes before she was due at her job.
She was more than grateful for the little garden she was accumulating on her window sill, the beautiful flowers and trees somehow surviving despite her little knowledge of taking care of them. She stopped by a flower store in town to get some fertilizer just to keep them alive. It would be a shame if they died since someone was being so kind as to give them to her.
With her boring life, the flowers brought a smile to her face and a warmth in her heart that she hadn’t felt before. Regardless of who was leaving the items there, she felt like she was important to someone. Some person was taking time out of their day to show they cared about her.
Truthfully, she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t wished it was Yamato leaving her gifts. She’d been attracted to the man for quite some time, ever since they met really. He was just so strong and brave, and awkward in a cute kind of way. He was truly the only man of her affections, and she could only dream she was the object of his as well.
It was more than unlikely though. He was a strong ninja of the leaf. The chances of someone that amazing wanting to be with someone as simple as the town baker were lower than she wanted to admit. He most likely had his eyes set on some gorgeous kunoichi like Shizune or Kurenai. Someone he could relate to, really.
It was embarrassing to even admit she had a crush on him. It made her feel so tiny and weak, knowing that she wasn’t his ideal.
So she pushed that thought from her mind. Yamato would never be interested in her, and he most certainly not the one leaving her little notes and plants.
What she did know was that this person was a shinobi. Maybe not Yamato, but they were definitely a shinobi. She set up a trap, at least one she thought a normal person would fall for. Right before her door, she set up a tiny trip wire made of floss at the perfect level for someone to pull loose when they walked up to leave a gift on her welcome mat. Her room was at the very end of the hallway, so there was no way anyone else except her secret admirer was the one to set off the trap. Any normal person without the high perception of a shinobi would set off the trap and she would be able to narrow down the results to a civilian.
Only, the morning after she set up the trip wire, when she opened her door, there sat another bouquet of flowers, as well as an untripped strip of floss.
This person had to be a shinobi. She concluded. It was the only explanation in her mind, desperate to find out who the mystery person was all this time.
As she walked the streets that afternoon after the store had closed, her eyes honed in on Yamato, who stood next to a vegetable stand picking up some groceries. Immediately, she turned on her heel and cornered him between the squash and the sweet potatoes.
“Yamato, I need to talk to you. It’s urgent. Do you mind?” she practically demanded, and his eyes widened. He did not expect such an abrupt conversation between them. He shifted awkwardly to rest his grocery bag in the crook of his elbow and lean on his left side, arms crossed over his chest.
He knew what she wanted to talk about. It was about those gifts that he had been giving her. It was just a matter of whether she had figured out it was him or not, that was the question. He was kinda hoping she didn’t know yet. He was not ready to face what came after the reveal, rejection or otherwise. He really hadn’t thought it that far out yet. How could he. Just thinking up love notes and what plants to give her next was more than enough to worry about.
But damn, when he looked down at her, hair dusted with flour from a days work, a smudge of cake batter still on her forearm, apron a complete mess, he wanted to cave and tell her everything. She was just so beautiful, so clumsily perfect he couldn’t help but lose his train of thought. He swore he’d never seen a woman more perfect than her, not even Naruto’s sexy jutsu could come close to this girl.
He found his ears heating up and no doubt turning red at the thoughts running through his mind, and he was quick to smother them down. He was not irrationally emotional. Hell, he was ANBU, he should be able to control his emotions down to a tee.
“Yes, Y/N?”
“I have a secret admirer, and I know they are a shinobi.”
He felt himself growing nervous. How had she deduced that? “Ah, that’s definitely exciting for you. How do you know it’s a shinobi?”
“I know because I set up a tripwire last night and the person didn’t set it off, so I know they are coordinated enough to avoid it. This isn’t just some random village boy. This is someone skilled.”
“Y/N, he could have very well just avoided the trap with his natural gait, don’t you think?” he tried to reason with her, try to get her off his trail. Admittedly, he thought she was quite clever for setting up the trap. When he walked over it the night before, he swore it was just a spider web. He didn’t even consider the possibility of a trap in his way.
If only he could throw her off his scent. He needed more time. He couldn’t confess to her now. It was too abrupt, too sudden. He would probably die.
“No, I’m convinced it’s a shinobi.”
Shit. “Well, what are you going to do now?”
She thought for a short moment on what she was going to say, tapping her foot on the ground beside her. Her eyes widened and she smiled at the thought that ran through her mind. Of course, it was so obvious. “The gifts come sporadically, so I know that the shinobi can’t leave gifts when they are on missions. Next time there is a long break in gifts, I will just ask around to figure out who has been on a mission for a while. Bam, I’ve got my answer. It’s foolproof.”
She really had thought this through more than him. She was too good, and he felt himself panicking. He had a weeklong mission in 3 days, and if she asked anyone, they would tell her it was him. He felt moisture gather up at his brow, and he internally cursed his situation. He had to find some way out of this mess without her figuring out it was him.
“Yeah, that could definitely work. I hope it all works out for you, Y/N,” he lied through his teeth.
“I know. I’m just smart like that, aren’t I?”
“You sure are,” he muttered, but honestly, he just wanted to go off and find Kakashi. He needed to talk to him. His eyes slid away from Y/N and he sighed. “I’ve got to go, but I’ll see you around, yeah?”
“Yeah, of course. Don’t forget to stop by before your next mission to get some of our special food pills, okay? I just made a new batch and you can try them free of charge. Anything for a fella as handsome as yourself.” She laughed, shifting her weight to press a hand to her hip.
Jeez. There was no good reason for her looking so adorable. Calling him handsome as well? It was all too much for his heart to handle. Needless to say, he felt like he was going to explode if he didn’t walk away right then. With that, he simply nodded before patting her shoulder. “Like I said, gotta go.”
“Oh, okay. See you around.”
“See you.”
He walked away quickly, heading in the direction of Kakashi’s apartment, knowing he just had to do something about the mess he was currently in, and ways to avoid the inevitable. His heart was racing so fast he thought he might be having a heart attack. How could he be swayed so easily by a pretty face. He had no idea, but he really wanted it to stop. For the sake of his sanity, he needed to learn to be calm around her.
He would tell her soon, get all this off his chest and share his true feelings. He just needed a bit more time.
146 notes · View notes
chuckbass-love · 3 years
Note
can i request a super smutty one shot of chris evans and hes obsessed with doing anal and it's the filthiest hottest thing ever ??? i love ur work btw :))
Hi lovely anon, thank you so much for the request and i really apologise for the delay. I’ve been working on a couple other things and obviously Christmas time has been hectic too. However, it’s here now and i hope you love it. Also thank you reading my work, your support means a whole lot and i really appreciate you🥰
A/N: Not written smut in a while so please give feedback as i’m anxious and worried that this is shit. Also, part 5 for Only Love Can Hurt Like This will be out soon. So strap yourselves in for that. 
Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.
Pairing: Chris Evans x Fem!Reader
Warnings: Language, FILTH, anal fingering, anal intercourse, oral (f, receiving), vaginal fingering and daddy kink. 18+
Word Count: 3,054
GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @myimaginesworld go check them out❤️
New Obsession
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If you were to tell the truth about how you felt a week ago, then it would be that anal made you nervous. Well, not anymore.
You’ve been with Chris for around a year now, which to many wouldn’t seem like a long time but to the two of you, it feels like a lifetime.
He had a way of automatically putting you at ease with everything. Especially in the bedroom or whenever it came to opening up emotionally and even now, that’s still the case.
He treats you like a queen. 
Last week whilst the pair of you were lounging around his Massachusetts home with Dodger nestled in between your legs as you lay in between Chris’s legs. He randomly asked you some rather explicit questions.
Ones mostly about your ass and what you’d let him do to it. It started off with him asking about eating your ass, playing with it and then eventually he asked if you’d ever have anal sex with him,
The mere thought had your puckered hole clenching and your tight cunt slowly starting to drip with your honey like arousal. Yeah sure, you were terrified but you’d always been curious and wanted to explore new territory with him. 
You love him and you trust him with your life so you agreed to try.
And after a nice romantic meal, a lot of wine on your part, beer on his. You ended up kissing on the couch. It started off very slow until he stood up with you in his arms, carrying you to the master bedroom. The journey there was spent with his large hand splaying across your soft globes, squeezing them aggressively like he just couldn’t wait to have his filthy way with you.
That night was certainly crazy to say the least. You were a little sore after which only led to Chris kissing you on your delicate hole a couple times and running you a bubble bath.
He’s the king of after care with you. Always checking in with you before, during and after to see if you enjoyed it. The last thing he’d ever want is for you to be in pain or danger.
Since that night though, you’ve been doing it whenever you can. It’s like an addiction. The feel of his huge cock pushing into your forbidden and tight hole is something you can never even begin to explain. It just feels incredible. Plus your little cunt gets extremely excited at all of the attention. Chris tends to rub at your bundle of nerves or even dip his fingers into your honey pot, 3 at once. He says he never wants your pussy to be left untouched.
But like you’ve said. It’s like an addiction to you both. In fact, he’s crazy for it. 
The grunts that leave his mouth always have you keening for him to go deeper and deeper inside of you. Every inch of him.
Tonight is no exception.
You had a lovely day at his parent’s house. Lisa cooked a gorgeous lunch and all of Chris’ siblings visited with their kids and partners. 
You and Scott spent the entire day laughing and joking about the many times you scared Chris. It’s like a running joke in this family plus Chris hates being scared. He calls himself the master of scaring people so when the tables are turned he gets this huge need to get them back.
Whenever Chris is horny or desperate for you, he has his ways of letting you know without actually saying the words. 
For example.
You were helping Lisa with some of the last minute prep for lunch by taking stuff out of the oven and placing it onto dishes to then put on the table.
Chris was sat at the kitchen island, sipping on a beer. Well, he was practically gulping it down. You were in the kitchen also.
Lisa asked if you could take the quiche out of the oven and leave it on the cooling rack. Chris’s eyes followed your ass as you bent over. Something you had anticipated to happen since he’s an ass man and your ass in particular drives him insane.
You turned around to place it on the cooling rack and that’s when you saw his flushed cheeks. His eyes full of hunger and lust. Animalistic even.
Before you left to go to his parent’s house, he was begging for you to ride him quickly.
“It’ll only be a quick one, just wanna feel that ass around my cock again”
His whining was more than tempting and now, since you rejected his offer, he was so close to taking you upstairs into his old childhood room to ram into you.
But instead. Lunch was served and he didn’t have the time. 
Hours had passed until eventually it was time to go. Lisa gave you some of the leftover quiche since Chris enjoyed it so much and the two of you got into the car with you in the driving seat this time. 
“You’re such a fuckin tease baby” he slurred
“And why’s that?” you asked, feigning innocence as you started driving. With his house not being far from his parent’s house, the journey was only around 10 minutes, not even that.
He never responded to you, just smirked as he sat back in his seat.
The moment you got home however, he was all over you like a rash. You shut the front door and locked it just before he pushed you into it. 
Your cheek squished against the cold door.
“Chris” you squealed, he didn’t respond though.
You felt his body lower until you were pretty sure he was on his knees, lifting your sundress up and hooking his thick digits into your soaked panties. He yanked them down and tapped your legs for you to step out of them. 
“There they are. God i’ve missed this pretty little asshole and oh my, look at this soaked cunt. All for me, huh baby?” you knew that he was well aware of the kind of effect he had on you and your body but he still liked confirmation from your mouth.
“Yes, daddy. It’s all for you. Please” 
Whenever you’re around Chris and about to have sex, you find yourself turning into this pathetic woman who is literally his whore. You crave his touch. You crave the feel of his cock ploughing into you so hard that you forget your own name and he loves how hungry you get.
He stood up then, his eyes dancing over your body, the only thing wrong with the view was that you had clothes on. He soon changed that, stripping you completely before getting back down onto his knees.
Which is how you got here. 
Your one leg is over his shoulder and your fingers are tangled up in his hair that was once styled. 
“Fuck. Daddy. Yes. Just. Like. That” your breathing is heavy and your heart is beating rapidly. His fingers working wonders inside of you whilst his mouth is sucking on your clit.
You’re on the cusp of yet another mind blowing orgasm from just his fingers and mouth alone. He’s already had you messing all over his fingers once but clearly once wasn’t enough if he’s trying to draw another from you.
He’s always been greedy like that.
“Come on baby, i know you got another one in you, give it to me” his fingers start to curl ever so slightly, pressing at that spot inside a couple more times before you’re falling.
Your cum sliding down his digits beautifully. Just the way he likes.
Before you even have the chance to speak, he’s spinning you back around and spreading your ass cheeks to reveal his new obsession.
Seconds later his tongue is pressed against it, circling too. 
You shiver at the sensation, your back arches and your hands rest either side of the door frame. In hopes that it’ll steady you.
“There she is, my little whore”
You bite down on your bottom lip as your eyes roll to the back of your head. There’s no point in trying to hold back the moans anymore and with one final lick to your eager hole you let out a loud pornographic style moan. 
With Chris, it’s always hard to hold back and he knows that. There’s been so many times when he’s tested you, fucking you in public areas. But the worst one was when you were in his L.A home.
Lisa came to visit at the very beginning of your relationship. You went for some nice lunch and then dinner which was courtesy of your excellent cooking. 
Chris put her up for the weekend and boy did he choose that night to initiate some pretty filthy sex. 
You were lying on your stomach and trying to sleep when you felt his hands wondering. Then all of a sudden he’s spitting on his cock for lube, stroking it a couple times before sliding into your pussy with ease. All thanks to your permanent need for him.
The way he fucked you that night was most certainly sinful to say the least. His room being next door to the guest room where his mother was sleeping. You’re surprised she didn’t say something the next day. Chris had to keep pushing your head into the pillow to muffle your pleasure filled screams.
“So eager for my cock i see but not so fast baby. Gotta get you ready first” the raspiness of his voice makes everything ten times hotter and you can quite literally feel him inside of you without it being a reality.
He stands up and his finger starts to circle before he slowly pushes it in, taking his time to prepare you for another one of his thick digits. 
They glide across the walls inside.
One more is added and another until your ass is stretched out nicely.
He continues to work you over, scissoring his fingers too. Despite doing it a lot already, preparation is key with anal.
“Think you’re ready?”
“Please, i need it” you mewl
He lowers his head so that his mouth is just by your ear and his breath fans your skin “yeah, need it huh? Need daddy’s cock deep inside this tight ass of yours?” 
You nod your head aggressively, you couldn’t look more keen if you tried. 
“How bad you need it baby, tell me. Tell daddy like a good girl” he whispers, his cologne filling your nose and intoxicating you more than ever as his hand reaches in front to rub at your sensitive clit. 
“Please, daddy. I need your cock in my ass. I need it so much” 
Before you got with Chris, dirty talk wasn’t necessarily something you even thought about during sex but he introduced you to that world. And what a world it is. It seemed as though, the more you did it, the dirtier you got. 
Nicknames were thrown around, more kinks were even explored and you became the pinnacle of a mans dream. Woman in the streets, freak in the sheets.
Such a princess to the public. But for Chris. You’re a whore. Only for him though.
“Beg for it baby” he insists, his fingers press down harder as he rubbing pace quickens.
You can feel the tip of his huge size poking at your hole. Just a push and it’ll be forcing it’s way inside of you, stretching you out even more than his fingers did and filling you up in the best way.
“Daddy, give it to me. Stuff my ass full of your cock please. I need it”
“Such a good girl, my good girl. S’fucking tight baby” the pair of you hiss as he begins to push into you, tearing that sweet ass open.
He’s always loved how tight your ass is and if he had it his way, his cock would remain seated inside of you all day every day. Where it belongs. With your peachy ass cheeks adding to the incredible view.
Every time he fucks you from behind, he spoils you with spanking after spanking, not letting up until your ass is sore and it stings to touch. Luckily, you love it, always begging for more.
And tonight is no different.
His hands rest on both globes, rubbing and kneading before eventually lifting off and smacking back down, earning a gasp from your mouth.
With every inch, he gets closer and closer to bottoming out until before you know it, he’s seated deep inside of your ass.
His fingers find your pussy immediately, sliding inside with no time to waste and then it starts. His thrusting. Slow at first of course.
Gradually getting faster and faster.
“Feel me deep in that fuckin ass huh? My little cock whore. Love getting fucked in this ass baby?” the pure filth leaving his mouth has your clit throbbing under his thumb.
“Answer daddy when he speaks to you” he mutters, spanking your ass and gripping your face with one hand and forcing you to turn your head a bit more so that you’re looking at him “sorry daddy” you pout, face flushed just like his was earlier at lunch.
“And?”
“Feels so good with your cock fucking my ass like that, i need it deeper” you cry out, waiting for his pace to change. His hips snap against your skin as he presses you back into the door with his hand tangled in your hair. 
He pulls on it harshly causing you to wince in pain. It all adds to the earth shattering pleasure though, you love when he gets like this. 
Ever since you first tried anal last week, he’s turned into this animal. He wants to fuck your ass mercilessly whenever he can. Whenever it’s possible and it’s times like these when he’s glad his house is away from others. He can fuck you as hard and as rough as he likes and your moans won’t be heard by anyone. Absolute bliss.
“That’s it baby, take daddy’s cock like the whore you are. Take it deep” he draws the last word out, his breathing hitches and so does yours as you choke on a moan.
“Take. It”
One smack to your ass cheeks.
“My filthy anal loving whore”
Two smacks to your ass cheeks.
“I always secretly knew you’d love this and i was right. Such a dirty little girl for her daddy, aren’t you?” His fingering pace picks up, ramming into you with such vigor as his cock slows down into hard and rough thrusts.
“Let me hear those sweet noises baby, don’t hide them from me. Sing it for daddy, let me know how good i make you feel”
Your back arches and your face lifts off of the door, head falling back to rest on his chest “please, i’m gonna cum, don’t stop i need it” your desperate whimpers are enough to have him ploughing into your ass harder and faster, his grunts, growls and cursing lets you know how close he is to his own earth shattering orgasm.
“Is daddy’s little girl gonna cum too, huh? Gonna cum with daddy, all over my fingers baby as i spill my cum into your ass again. Like last time?”
“Yes daddy, please, i need it. Give me your cum” 
“Such a beg, god you feel so fucking good. Can feel that cunt clenching round my fingers. Cumming baby? Huh, gonna cream all over my fingers like the whore you are?”
All you can muster is a pathetic nod and a whine. You’re so close now.
And just like that, with a couple more thrusts in both holes. You clamp down on his cock and fingers, your clit pulsating again as you cum with a shaky sob of his name.
And of course with your pleasure, his is spurred on. You can feel him twitch and spasm inside as he chokes your name out too. Spilling his hot seed into your ass.
“So fucking good” his heart is beating, you feel it as you lay your head on his chest.
“My good girl, taking it like a pro. I’ll never grow tired of that”
He slowly pulls out, making his way to the bathroom and taking your hand so that you can follow him.
Once there, you get this sudden wave of confidence.
“I already miss your cock inside of me” he runs a wash cloth underneath the hot tap for a couple seconds, before using it to clean himself up. He starts running a bath too but you don’t want one.
You want him.
“I guess we’ll just have to do it again after our bath then won’t we?” he wraps his hand around your wrist, tugging you close so that you’re flush against him.
“What if i don’t want a bath?”
He raises his eyebrows at you in question.
“You want me to fuck your ass again?”
Now that he’s saying it out loud, you feel a tinge of embarrassment.
“Come here and sit on this fucking cock then baby, daddy would hate to disappoint you”
So you do exactly that, he doesn’t have to tell you twice.
“You’re only fuelling the flame baby”
“I don’t know what you mean” your innocence shining through as you turn your head to look at him through your batting eyelashes.
“This ass of yours, you know what it does to me, having my cock buried inside of it. It’s my new obsession” he starts, caressing your cheek before gliding his hand across your body “now. Show daddy how you bounce on his cock”
It would be your pleasure.
----------------------------------
I hope this was great and that you all love it!!! Honest feedback pls...💜
I’ve not written smut in a hot minute so if it’s shit i understand.
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phases--ofthemoon · 2 years
Text
PHASES Ch. 13
Warnings: Language
Jacob
My paws pounded the ground as I sprinted through the woods riding the high of another evening with Emerson. The past few weeks had maybe been the best of my life and I don’t think I had ever been happier. Getting to know her was more than I could have imagined, she was truly an amazing woman. She was incredibly strong I could tell that and she had this huge heart but she didn’t always wear it on her sleeve. I could tell she wasn't big on being vulnerable but I was happy she was starting to open up more, to trust me but I knew there was still more she was holding back. I didn't push her though because I still had my secrets too.
Regardless of the imprint bond I was in it deep with Emerson. I knew that I was drawn to her anyway. Hell when I first saw before we locked eyes I thought she was gorgeous. Now after getting to know her these past few weeks everything I had initially felt had just kept growing. I was scared shitless but I knew I was in love with her, I realized it when she stayed for dinner the first time at our house.
Seeing her interact with my Dad and help him in the kitchen, just the way she talked so comfortably with us it felt like she was always meant to be there. As much as I had liked Bella she always had this awkwardness about her, she never quite fit but seeing Emerson in our kitchen instantly reminded me of my mom. I knew without a doubt her and Emerson would have gotten along. Dad already adored her, he loved the extra company and her cooking. Whenever I’d have dinner at her house she always sent me back home with leftovers for him. I had come to realize that was Emerson though, always thinking of others.
When I first met her I was terrified. I was afraid she’d reject me or just not want to even be friends. I couldn’t have imagined we’d be this close this fast. I was mind blown that just a few weeks later Emerson and I were more than just acquaintances or friends we were dating. Well I guess we hadn’t officially had that conversation but it was implied…
“How about you man up and just ask her to be your girlfriend?” Leah said in my head as she phased in. I kept running in the direction of the reservation so we could start running patrol, which up until a couple weeks ago we hadn’t done daily in ages. Some leech or leeches had been getting a little too close to the boarders of the reservation as well Emerson’s house. We weren’t sure if this was the new leech the Cullen's “adopted”, friends of his or just nomads passing through.
The whole pack was in agreement we wouldn't be taking any chances though our job was to protect the people and that’s what we would do especially our Imprints. I just hoped this situation would be resolved quickly because not spending the night with Emerson was killing me. Well…not doing a lot of things with Emerson was testing my will power to the absolute limits.
“Thanks for the commentary Leah.” I growled back.
“Hey I’m just trying to help you. And you know you're going to have to tell her about all this, sooner rather than later…”
“I know.” Leah and I had become a lot closer since Emerson came into my life. I hated to admit it but I had been going to her for a lot of advice lately. Leah was way more compassionate than people knew. She put up this tough girl front to everyone but getting closer to her I was beginning to see through it. I was beginning to understand how being a part of the pack was harder than she let on and other than Seth she wasn’t close to anyone else. I felt kinda bad for being kinda a dick to her before but I was thankful her and I had an understanding now, sorta like a friendship, we had each other’s backs.
“I know you don’t wanna fuck this all up but the longer you put it off the harder it will be. Look at all the guys, eventually their imprints came around, I’m sure she will too.”
“You’re right. First I think she needs to go to the bonfire and meet everyone… I’ll talk to my Dad and Sam we’ll get one set up.”
“Good luck.”
“Thanks Leah.”
By the time I got back home after patrol it was almost four in the morning. I had been running the late night shifts, it was exhausting especially since I still had work later in the morning but it was worth it so I could spend the evenings with Emerson. A little sacrifice of sleep was well worth it to see her.
Every day I looked forward to the end of the work day and today was no different. Joe and Josh took great pleasure in teasing me about Emerson like I didn’t get enough of it with the pack but even they could see how ridiculously happy I was. As it neared five I finished up what I was working on and started cleaning up. Saying my goodbyes and heading out to my car my phone rang. Instantly I thought it was Emerson but it was actually my Dad.
“Hey Dad.”
“Hey Jake, anyway you can stop over at Charlie’s and pick me up? Charlie got a call they need him at the station. An animal attack.” We both knew what animal attack meant, that meant a damn leech had gotten someone. Fuck! It better not be that new Cullen or there would be hell to pay....I would take great pleasure in tearing him apart. For the first time in a long time I was seeing red.
“Yeah no problem Dad, see you soon.” I texted Emerson asking her to come to our house for Dinner tonight. It would be safer for her on the Reservation until I knew what the hell was going on.
I pulled up to Charlie’s and his cruiser was still there guess he was waiting for me before he left. I parked and got out the scent of sickly sweet filled my nostrils flaring the rage I had just calmed down from. Looking across the street I noticed a shiny black car. Great a Cullen. I needed to calm down before I ripped someones head off. Who would be at Charlie’s though?
The front door swung open Charlie helping wheel out my Dad with Sue behind him. She waved to me and I waved back. Even though Harry was like an Uncle to me I was happy Sue and Charlie found each other after he passed. They deserved to be happy and I knew Sue as well as Leah and Seth would always help keep Charlie safe. I helped bring my Dad’s wheelchair down the steps.
“Good to see you Jake, it's been a while.” Charlie said shaking my hand once Dad was sitting in the driveway.
“You too Charlie.”
“Well sorry I gotta run and ruin watching the game. Duty calls.” Sue met him at the bottom of the steps and he kissed her on the cheek. “Bye Bells.” He called into the house. Bella. Great… Like it was on cue she walked into view in the doorway waving Charlie off before her eyes settled on me.
“Jacob.” She smiled like she used to when we were best friends. It was so weird her being a vampire now, she was Bella but also wasn’t. Seeing her wasn’t as bad as it used to be though. After she had made her decision to marry Edward, it was so hard to see her, just dark memories and a lot of heartache. The few times I saw her after that it was definitely forced. Now It was almost nostalgic, it had been years since I saw her last and a part of me almost missed her. Almost. It was like I could now see past all the pain. I guess I had Emerson to thank for that. I smiled and waved to her. She took that as a sign to come over and hi.
“It’s good to see you Jake, you look…happy.” She commented her now golden eyes scanning over me meticulously.
“Thanks, you do too Bella.” She did look happy and I was happy for her, honestly. My phone buzzed and I pulled it out seeing a text back from Emerson. “Sounds great! :) Do you need me to bring anything?” I quickly wrote back “Nope just yourself beautiful :)”
“Sorry.” I said to Bella when I put my phone back in my pocket. She was eyeing me a smirk on her lips. “What?” I asked.
“You’ve met someone, I’d know that look anywhere.” She smiled.
“Oh yeah he’s quite smitten.” My Dad said with Sue was next to him, I shot him a look and he laughed and went back to talking with Sue. I turned my attention back to Bella.
“Yeah it was unexpected but I did, she’s really something.” I couldn’t help but smile when I thought of Emerson.
“I’m really happy for you Jake.” She smiled and I knew she meant it. “I’ve got to go but maybe if it’s okay with you I could stop by and we could catch up soon?” I saw the hope in her eyes, I did miss our friendship, maybe on some level we could be friends now. Maybe enough time had passed, maybe since we were both happy it could finally happen? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, she’s still a leech. Maybe I could use the opportunity to do a little recon on her new “sibling" though. The leech. Fuck I forgot about the attack.
“Sure.” I said and she smiled brightly and turned to Sue and Billy waving and saying goodbye and began walking to her car. I needed to see if she knew anything about what was going on. “Bella?” She turned back to me. “It is your new coven member that’s been running around near the reservation? Did he attack someone?” She looked at me I could see concern and worry there.
“No, I don’t think it was him.” The uncertainty in her voice was unsettling. How were they not sure? “Well he didn’t attack anyone… and Carlisle has told him the consequences for hunting near the reservation. We’re not sure who made the attack, we’re monitoring things closely on our end though. If we find out anything I’ll let you know.”
“Thanks.” I nodded to her and she made her way to her car and was gone. I guess I better get back to see what Sam has to say, see if he has more information.
We got back and after getting my Dad settled I quickly phased and ran to Sam’s I didn’t have much time before Emerson would be at my house so I’d have to be quick. Things were quiet I didn’t hear anyone but maybe patrol was switching over. As I approached the house I phased back and threw on my shorts. A few of the guys were in the kitchen but not the whole pack. “Guys look it’s Jake! He’s alive.” Embry joked to Quil, Seth and Jared.
“Ha Ha very funny.” I scanned the kitchen for Sam, Emily was busy cooking as usual.
“Seriously Jake we haven't seen you in weeks.” Quil said. I felt kinda bad, I hadn’t hung out with the guys at all lately, all my free time was with Emerson. Leah was taking the late patrols with me so I hadn’t even done patrols with the guys, so they really hadn’t seen me at all. I knew they understood though most of them had their Imprints too.
“I’m sorry, between work, Emerson and patrol I’ve been wiped...”
“We get it dude, when are you gonna bring her around though?” Embry asked.
"Yeah, I like Emerson and her chili." Seth joined in.
Shit. Right I had told Leah I’d have a bonfire set up soon. Add that to the list of things I needed to talk to Sam about.
“Hopefully soon. Any news on this leech situation?” I said.
“Nah Sam and Paul are on patrol now. They should be back soon though.” Jared said.
“If you guys hear anything let me know, I gotta get back home.” I said looking at the clock. Emerson would be at the house any minute.
“You got it bad dude.” Quil laughed as I turned to leave.
He was right, I did. I smiled to myself as I back ran into the woods.
Finally it was Friday. Even though I had slept through all three of my alarms and was late for work I was in a good mood. It was almost the weekend which meant more time with Emerson and as a bonus my Dad left for a fishing trip this morning with Charlie, so I’d have the house to myself. Emerson and I could have the house to ourselves…We had plenty of alone time at her house sure but maybe tonight we could spend the night together…I had patrol late...But maybe she wouldn’t notice me leave in the middle of the night? I groaned internally. I have to tell her soon.
I decided to work a little later tonight at the shop since I got in late, Joe didn’t really care but I didn’t want him to think I was slacking at my job, I took pride in a having a good work ethic and I didn’t want to take advantage of his kindness either. I quickly texted Emerson letting her know that I had to work late and that I’d text her when I was home and asked if she wanted to come over. She said that sounded great. Even if she did spend the night I wasn’t going to put any expectations on this evening no matter how much I wanted to.
It was about six-thirty when I decided to call it a night I had finished up on the car I was working on so I pleased with the work I got done today and I knew Joe would be happy too. I drove home excited for the evening with Emerson I was too preoccupied with my thoughts I didn’t even notice the car in my driveway until I got out of mine. “Sorry I probably should have called.” A familiar voice rang out bringing my attention to the black sports car and the leech smell in the air.
“Bella?” Why was she here?
“I was passing through and thought I’d stop by and see if you were home, you know catch up?” She said a little unsure. Oh shit I did agree to that.
“Sorry you just caught me off guard.” I laughed. “Yeah you can come in for a few, I do have plans though…” I said remembering Emerson. I guess I could text her in a little bit I did tell her I had to work late and hadn't said how late…
“Oh that’s fine, sorry again for just showing up.” If she was still human I’m sure her cheeks would have been tinted red with a blush. Still the same awkward Bella.
“It’s okay, kinda like old time huh?” I smiled at her as we walked into the house.
“Yeah.” She smiled.
We talked for a little bit both sitting on the couch like we used to. She filled me in on her life and her daughter, the things they'd done, the places they traveled, how fast she was growing. They had a full life and I was glad.
“So tell me about the girl, how did you guys meet?” She asked curiously.
“Her name is Emerson and well she came into the shop about a month ago, her car needed some work and she hit me like a tons of bricks. I was honestly freaking out cause I didn’t even know her.” I laughed at the memory.
“So you imprinted on her?”
“Yeah, I never thought I would. I had kinda given up on the whole thing, love in general I guess.” Sadness flashed across her statuesque face.
“I’m sorry Jake…for my part in all that.” I knew Bella had never intentionally meant to hurt me, I didn’t blame her for it anymore though. I had grown up a lot in the past few years and realized we were both young and we both could have handled things better. I had been fighting so hard for a losing battle.
“Look it was a long time ago Bella. I do appreciate the apology but if I had seen things more clearly I would have known that we weren’t meant to be. It was always him. Even when he was gone. I guess at the time I was just too stubborn to see it.”
“Maybe we can be friends again?” I wasn’t sure if that was the greatest idea, I had distanced myself from her and her clan for a reason but oddly enough it was nice catching up with her again minus the leech smell.
“Yeah, I think maybe we can.” She smiled and stood up and I did the same.

“Well I should run, I know you have plans too. Hopefully I can meet her sometime.” She said walking toward the front door. “I am really happy that you're happy Jacob, that's all I ever wanted for you.”
“Thank you.” She came in for a hug and it felt a little weird, she wasn’t the warm fragile Bella anymore she was hard as stone and cold.

“I really did miss you Jake.” She said and for a second it felt like we were just young teenagers again. Like all the heavy shit never happened, it was nice. I guess I did miss my friend.
“I missed you too Bella.” A thud from outside caught our attention and we both looked out the window we were standing in front of. Emerson? Her face had shock written all over it. I looked as she had tripped and fallen in the front yard and was sitting in the wet grass. Was she okay?
“Is that her?” Bella asked.
“Yeah. it is. Shit! I hope she’s okay.” I said bolting for the front door as Bella followed. We walked outside and Emerson’s face was anything but happy as she was standing up looking from me to Bella. Fuck. I told her I was working late, I hadn’t texted in hours, and now she sees me here with another girl… I look like a total shit bag. Way to go Jake.
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