#even my best friend has never seen me angry or lose my patience | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

dfroza · 9 days

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Today’s reading from the ancient books of Proverbs and Psalms

for may 25 of 2024 with Proverbs 25 and Psalm 25, accompanied by Psalm 68 for the 68th day of Astronomical Spring, and Psalm 146 for day 146 of the year (with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 1st revolution this year)

[Proverbs 25]

These words, too, are proverbs of King Solomon, words which Hezekiah, king of Judah, later told his scribes to record for posterity:

God’s glory is shown when He conceals things;

a king’s glory is shown in his ability to explore the facts of the matter.

As the heights of heaven and the depths of earth are beyond comprehension,

so are the hearts of kings.

Take away the impurities from the silver,

and a good smith can create something of value;

Take away the wicked from among the king’s advisors,

and his reign will be established with integrity.

Do not claim to be important in the presence of the king

or vie for a position within the company of great men.

Truly, it is far sweeter to have someone of influence say to you, “Come up here and join us,”

than to be ordered to some lower rank in front of a noble.

Just because you think you have seen something

doesn’t mean you should be quick to go to court,

For what will you do

when your neighbor disproves the charge and embarrasses you?

Instead, discuss the matter directly with your neighbor,

but in doing so, remember never to reveal another person’s secrets;

For if you do, someone who hears you could disgrace you,

and a bad reputation will cling to you ever afterward.

A well-spoken word at just the right moment

is like golden apples in settings of silver.

To an attentive ear, constructive criticism from a truly wise person

is like an earring or jewelry made of fine gold.

Like a cooling snow that breaks the heat of a harvest day,

so is the messenger who is faithful to those who sent him,

for he refreshes the soul of his masters.

Like clouds and wind that bring no rain,

so is one who boasts of gifts promised but never delivered.

Patience can soften up a leader,

and a tender tongue can break even bone.

When you find honey, remember to eat only what you need,

because if you eat in excess, you may be sick and lose all of it.

Don’t visit your neighbor too often,

or he will become tired of you and grow to hate you.

Like a maul and a sword and a sharp arrow all in one,

so is anyone who bears false witness against a neighbor.

Like a tooth that is rotten or a foot that is unsteady,

so is relying on a person who can’t be trusted in times of trouble.

Like a man who undresses in winter

or a woman who pours vinegar on a wound,

So is anyone who tries to sing happy songs

to a sorrowful heart.

If your enemy is hungry, give him something to eat;

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink,

For your kind treatment will be like heaping hot coals on his head,

it may cause a change in heart,

and the Eternal will repay you.

As surely as a north wind drives the rain before it,

a backbiting tongue brings angry looks.

It is better to dwell outside on the corner of your roof

than to live inside your house with a badgering wife.

Like cool water to a weary soul,

so is good news from a distant country.

Like a muddy spring or a polluted fountain,

so is a righteous person who gives in to the wicked.

Eating too much honey is not good for you,

nor is it good to seek one honor after another.

Like a conquered city with no walls,

so is a man who has no self-control.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 25 (The Voice)

A note from The Voice translation:

Acts of kindness, especially when we know they are undeserved, awaken a slumbering conscience, stimulate sorrow, and perhaps even effect a change. They are the best ways to turn an enemy into a friend.

[Psalm 25]

A song of David.

ALWAYS I will lift up my soul to You, Eternal One,

BECAUSE You are my God and I put my trust in You.

Do not let me be humiliated.

Do not let my enemies celebrate at my expense.

CERTAINLY none of the people who rely on You will be shamed,

but those who are unfaithful, who intentionally deceive,

they are the ones who will be disgraced.

DEMONSTRATE Your ways, O Eternal One.

Teach me to understand so I can follow.

EASE me down the path of Your truth.

FEED me Your word

because You are the True God who has saved me.

I wait all day long, hoping, trusting in You.

GRACIOUS Eternal One, remember Your compassion; rekindle Your concern and love,

which have always been part of Your actions toward those who are Yours.

Do not HOLD against me the sins I committed when I was young;

instead, deal with me according to Your mercy and love.

Then Your goodness may be demonstrated in all the world, Eternal One.

IMMENSELY good and honorable is the Eternal;

that’s why He teaches sinners the way.

With JUSTICE, He directs the humble in all that is right,

and He shows them His way.

KIND and true are all the ways of the Eternal

to the people who keep His covenant and His words.

O LORD, the Eternal, bring glory to Your name,

and forgive my sins because they are beyond number.

MAY anyone who fears the Eternal

be shown the path he should choose.

His soul will NOT only live in goodness,

but his children will inherit the land.

ONLY those who stand in awe of the Eternal will have intimacy with Him,

and He will reveal His covenant to them.

PERPETUALLY my focus takes me to the Eternal

because He will set me free from the traps laid for me.

QUIETLY turn Your eyes to me and be compassionate toward me

because I am lonely and persecuted.

RAPIDLY my heart beats as troubles build on the horizon.

Come relieve me from these threats.

SEE my troubles and my misery,

and forgive all my sins.

TAKE notice of my enemies.

See how there are so many of them

who hate me and would seek my violent destruction.

Watch over my soul,

and let me face shame and defeat

UNASHAMED because You are my refuge.

May honor and strong character keep me safe.

VIGILANTLY I wait for You, hoping, trusting.

Save Israel from all its troubles,

O True God.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 25 (The Voice)

[Psalm 68]

For the worship leader. A song of David.

May the True God rise up and show Himself;

may those who are united against Him be dispersed,

while the people who hate Him run away at the sight of Him.

As smoke disappears when it is blown by the wind,

may You blow away Your enemies forever.

As wax melts in the presence of fire,

may the wicked heart melt away in God’s presence.

But may those who are righteous rejoice

in the presence of the True God—so may they be glad and rejoice.

Yes, let them celebrate with joy!

Sing songs of praise to the name that belongs to the True God!

Let your voices ring out in songs of praise to Him, the One who rides through the deserted places.

His name is the Eternal;

celebrate in His glorious presence.

The True God who inhabits sacred space

is a father to the fatherless, a defender of widows.

He makes a home for those who are alone.

He frees the prisoners and leads them to prosper.

Yet those who rebel against Him live in the barren land without His blessings and prosperity.

O True God, when You led Your enslaved people from Egypt,

when You journeyed with us through the wilderness,

[pause]

The whole world trembled! The sky poured down rain

at the power of Your presence; even Mount Sinai trembled in Your presence,

the presence of the True God, the God of Israel.

You sent a heavy downpour to soak the ground, O True God.

You refreshed the land—the land Your people would inherit—when it was parched and dry.

Your covenant people made their homes in the land,

and because You are so good, You provided for those crushed by poverty, O True God.

The Lord gives the word;

there are very many women ready to tell the good news:

“Kings who lead the armies are on the run!

They are on the run!

And the woman who stays at home is ready, too,

ready to enjoy the treasures that they’ve left behind!”

When they lay down among the campfires and open the saddlebags, imagine what they’ll find—

a beautiful dove, its wings covered with silver,

its feathers a shimmering gold.

When the Almighty scattered the kings from that place,

it was snowing in Zalmon.

O Mount Bashan, you mighty mountain of the True God;

mountain of many peaks, O Mount Bashan.

Why are you so jealous, O mountain of many peaks,

when you look at the mountain the True God has chosen as His dwelling place?

The Eternal will surely abide on Mount Zion forever.

The chariots of God are innumerable;

there are thousands upon thousands of them.

The Lord is in their midst, just as He was at Mount Sinai.

He has come into the holy place.

When You ascended the sacred mountain,

with Your prisoners in tow, Your captives in chains,

You sat in triumph receiving gifts from men,

Even from those who rebel against You, so that You, the Eternal God, might take up residence there.

Blessed be the Lord

who carries our heavy loads every day,

the True God who is our salvation.

[pause]

We know our God is the God who delivers us,

and the Eternal, the Lord, is the One who saves us from the grip of death.

The True God will certainly shatter the skulls of those who oppose Him;

He’ll smash the hairy head of the man who continues on his sinful ways.

The Lord said,

“I will bring the enemy back from Bashan.

I will bring them back from the deepest parts of the sea,

So that you may plant your feet in their blood

and your dogs may lick up their portion of the foe.”

The solemn march in Your honor, O True God, has come into view;

the march that celebrates my God, my King, has come into the sanctuary.

The singers went first, and the musicians came last

between rows of girls who played tambourines.

Come, let us gather to bless the True God

and to praise the Eternal, He who is the fountain of Israel, the source of our life!

Look! There are the rulers of Benjamin, the youngest in the lead.

A great crowd follows

The princes of Judah,

the princes of Zebulun, the princes of Naphtali.

[Your God is the One who has given you strength];

show Your power, O True God, as You have done for us.

Because of Your magnificent temple in Jerusalem,

many kings will line up to bring You gifts.

Reprimand the beasts in the tall grass,

the herds of bulls that are with the people’s calves,

Trampling over the pieces of silver.

He has driven out the people who love to be at war.

Ambassadors will come from Egypt;

the people of Ethiopia will reach out their hands to the one True God.

Let all the kingdoms of the earth sing to the True God.

Sing songs of praise to the Lord.

[pause]

To Him who rides high up beyond the heavens, which have been since ancient times,

watch and listen. His voice speaks, and it is powerful and strong.

Attribute power to the one True God;

His royal splendor is evident over Israel,

and His power courses through the clouds.

O True God, You are awesome from the holy place where You dwell.

The True God of Israel Himself

grants strength and power to His people.

Blessed be our God!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 68 (The Voice)

A note from The Voice translation:

Psalm 68 is a hymn describing God as a Divine Warrior, marching from Sinai through the wilderness to make His home in Jerusalem.

[Psalm 146]

Praise the Eternal!

Praise the Eternal, O my soul;

I will praise the Eternal for as long as I live.

I will sing praises to my God as long as breath fills my lungs and blood flows through my veins.

Do not put your trust in the rulers of this world—kings and princes.

Do not expect any rescue from mortal men.

As soon as their breath leaves them, they return to the earth;

on that day, all of them perish—their dreams, their plans, and their memories.

Blessed are those whose help comes from the God of Jacob,

whose hope is centered in the Eternal their God—

Who created the heavens, the earth,

the seas, and all that lives within them;

Who stays true and remains faithful forever;

Who works justice for those who are pressed down by the world,

providing food for those who are hungry.

The Eternal frees those who are imprisoned;

He makes the blind see.

He lifts up those whose backs are bent in labor;

He cherishes those who do what is right.

The Eternal looks after those who journey in a land not their own;

He takes care of the orphan and the widow,

but He frustrates the wicked along their way.

The Eternal will reign today, tomorrow, and forever.

People of Zion, your God will rule forever over all generations.

Praise the Eternal!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 146 (The Voice)

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rezzyromance · 3 years

Note

Idk if this is how you request things or if it's just asking, BUT-

How would the Lords react to an S/O that's usually the chillest person that you will ever meet (not to be confused with a pushover because they are not), they've never seen them even mildly annoyed when something bad happens. But then something happens and, turns out, the S/O is utterly TERRIFYING when they're mad.

Hope this makes sense!

Aw man I'm gonna feel awful scaring Moreau and Donna :(

Alcina

You're relaxing on a beautiful morning. The sun is shining through the window just enough to warm the room but not hurt your eyes. You hadn't even changed out of your sleep wear. "How are you feeling, my dear?", a sweet voice rang from the doorway. You were sitting in your favorite chair near the window. You turn and smile at her. She walks over and rubs your face in her large hand before leaning down and giving you a soft kiss. "I'm feeling amazing. And you?", you grab her hand before she pulls it away and you place a kiss on her knuckles. "I'm feeling alright. There's a new maid here. She's a bit slow. I'm giving her until tonight to finish dusting the entire castle or else she won't see another sunrise." It was almost comedic how dark her words were as you both stared out the window and gazed at the beautiful scenery. "Come on Alcina.", you stand up and place your hands on hers, trying to hold them despite the size difference. "Give the girl a break. It's a huge castle AND it's her first day.", you knew your words would probably change nothing. Alcina was rather cruel, but you looked past it. You tried your best to make the nervous maids comfortable whenever they arrive.

"We'll see how she does." She gives you one more kiss before leaving the room. You sit back down in your chair, enjoying the warmth of the sun for a little while longer. You lose track of time, minutes maybe even hours go by. Suddenly, there's a crash not far from the door. You jump and stand up, no longer comfortable after being startled. "What in the name of Mother Miranda?!", you leave the room and look down the hallway. The new maid stood there with a terrified look on her face. In front of her was one of the paintings Alcina had on her walls, now with a broken frame and a hole punctured. Your blood began to boil. It was a painting of you, her, and the girls all together. It was your favorite. "How in the hell did you manage to do that?!", you begin to stomp towards her. She cowers and struggles to find her words. "I-I-I was just dusting! It fell and I-I didn't mean t-", you cut her off. "How the fuck did you knock such a large painting over just by dusting?! DO YOU THINK YOU'RE ALLOWED TO MAKE SUCH STUPID MISTAKES HERE?!", you unravel. "I-I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!", she almost begins to weep. "SORRY ISN'T GONNA SAVE YOUR ASS!"

"MISS DIMITRESCU PLEASE HELP!", she cries out. You freeze, realizing that the lady herself is right behind you. You turn to face her. Her eyes are wide with shock. She has never seen you like this before and never even knew you had this type of side to you. She was impressed as much as she was terrified. "(Y/N)? Are you alright my love?" She had no idea what to do as your seething slowed down. "Why don't you go back to the room, yes? Settle down a little and deal with her later.", she places a hand on your back helps walk with you back to the room. Once you're there, she bends down to whisper in your ear. "I don't know where this side of you has been this whole time, but I am so amazed by you. And also a little frightened."

Donna

The Beneviento house was usually a calm place despite its creepy aura. You and Donna are both quiet and chill people. Never once have you fought or even raised your voices at each other. It was pleasant.

You had planned a nice dinner for the both of you. You wanted to try out a new recipe and surprise her, so you made your way to the kitchen to get started. "Okay, what first? I guess I'll need a pot.", you go rummaging through the kitchen and you find the pots stacked within each other inside one of the top cabinets. You groan and stand up on your toes, grazing the pots with your fingers. It didn't take much to cause them to tumble down, crashing on top of you with a loud sound that followed. "Aw shit.", you sighed and picked up the knocked over pots. A small but annoying pain began to throb in your head from where it made contact with a pot. What you didn't notice was you forgot to pick one of the pots up. It remained unnoticed. "It's fine.", you say to yourself as you maintain your composure. Next, a cutting board and knife. You turn around and begin to walk forward to find the cutting board, but you slam your toe into counter. You wince in pain and grab your foot. "SON OF A BITCH!", you yell.

You calm yourself, still wanting to have a pleasant meal with Donna. "Alright. Everything's fine." You step forward and kick the pot that you had forgotten to pick up. It caused your freshly kicked toe to ache even more. "OH COME ON! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!", you scream and swear as you throw your arms up in pure rage and shock.

"...(Y/N)?", a gentle voice whispered from the doorway, causing you to whip your head in that direction. It was Donna. She looked absolutely horrified and almost looked like she could cry. "Is.. is everything... are you alright?", she worried. "Yes. I'm sorry. Just got a little pissed off.", you took a deep breath to calm yourself down, feeling bad for scaring the poor girl.

Moreau

You were sitting on the dock together, looking into the water as your feet swung back and forth above it. It was a sunny day and you two decided to spend it outside. Your hand slowly made its way over to his. His feet stopped swinging for a second as you entangled your fingers. "I don't know what I'd do without you, (Y/N)." his words were bitter sweet as a gentle smile formed from his lips. "Oh, Sal. You don't have to think like that. I'll always be here for you.", you kiss his cheek and continue to relax as you sway your legs.

"There it is! There's the beast!", a voice yelled from not so far away. You both look in the direction of the voice and see a few young village boys. Possibly between the ages of 13 and 16. Moreau had become some what of a scary story for the villagers. A tale that kids spread on school court yard and bring up during dares. But, you've never seen a kid brave enough to actually make it far enough into the reservoir to actually see Moreau. Now, there were about 3. All of them stood and pointed, shocked and terrified.

"Hey beast! Come get me!", one kid teases. You glare at the kids as a newfound rage begins to boil inside you. "Let's go back inside.", Moreau says before standing up from the doc. The sadness in his voice was heartbreaking. Suddenly, one of the children gathers the guts to pick up a rock and throw it as hard as he could. His aim was off, but not by much. It slammed into the wood near Moreau's feet, startling him. "Take that you devil!", he laughs. "THAT'S IT YOU LITTLE SHIT!", you begin sprinting in the direction of the immature brats. Two of them run from the direction they came from while the one who threw the rock was frozen in fear. You took the opportunity to grab him by the collar of his shirt. "Listen here you little waste of space. I'm gonna give you 3 seconds to turn around and run for your goddamn life. If you or any of your little snot-nosed friends come around here again, they'll be goddamn fish food. Do you understand?" The kid was too scared to speak and instead began to nod rapidly. You let him go and watched as he ran as fast as he could, screaming the whole way.

You walk back to the shack and find Moreau standing in the same place he was when you took off. His mouth was agape and he looked almost as scared as the kids. "You alright Sal? I made sure those little shits won't be coming around here anymore." "Yeah... I didn't know you could be so... scary", he says. "I'm sorry. But those kids were being cruel. I had to do something.", you say. "Well... it was awesome!", he smiled. "But also very scary!" You laugh which helps sooth him a little.

Heisenberg

"Screw driver.", is all Karl said with an outstretched palm. He was working on some type of mechanical heart for his experiments. He wanted you to lend a "helping hand" even though he could easily do it all by himself. He did this because he wanted to be around you, he was just too stubborn with too big of an ego to simply say it. So here you were, handing him every little tool he asks for.

"Do you want the big one or the little one?", you say with a hint of boredom in your tone. "Aw c'mon don't sound like that! Isn't this exciting? It's like you're working on it with me! Also, hand me the big one.", you do as he says and hand him the big screw driver. "I just don't get it. You literally have powers. You can easily do this by yourself and have been for so long. Why do you need me to help?" He pauses for a second and looks over towards you, his brow slightly furrowed. "I don't NEED you to help. I just thought it would be nice for you to help out. Plus, you're the one always bitching about me constantly working. Well, here you are! Helping me work! So, either suck it up or you can leave." His harshness had no real ill will in it. He was just confused and a bit too ignorant to consider his words. But, he was testing your patience. He continued to use the screwdriver until handing it to you without saying a word.

"Hand me a screw.", he demanded with his hand facing palm up again. "Which size?" "They're all the same sizes, dumbass." You feel your blood begin to boil. "They're different fucking sizes! This one is smaller than this one!", you hold up two screws that are obviously different sizes. This makes Karl angry. Not because you were right, but because you seemed upset over something that seemed so insignificant.

"If you came here just to yap in my ear, then I don't think I need your assistance.", he huffed. You put the selection of tools and supplies he was making you hold on the table he is working on and ball your fists. "You're the one who told me to do this in the first place!", you yell. "Yeah, because you won't stop bitching! Non-stop you're always compla-" you cut him off before he can finish. "SHUT UP!", you yell. The room goes silent. "YOU SAY I'M BITCHING? HAVE YOU HEARD YOURSELF? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KARL YOU BITCH AND MOAN ALL THE TIME! I'M DONE TAKING SHIT FROM YOU!" He wanted to be angry, but he couldn't. He felt something much more overwhelming. Was he.. intimidated? He didn't move from his seat. All he could do was look up at you with a confused expression. What now? What is there to do? If he pushes you further, what would happen? He was actually too scared to find out.

You take a deep breath to calm down before speaking. "Now, if you want me to help with your shit, I'll stay as long as you keep your mouth shut. Can you possibly manage to do that?" He gulps nervously. "Yes ma'am."

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dragongirl642 · 3 years

Note

I really love your writing and noticed your asks are open (i think). And, I checked your masterlist and didn't see RE8 listed as a universe you write for, so you can ignore this if you want. But, could I request Heisenberg, Donna, and Lady Dimitrescu reacting to a male dragon-shifter reader who has decided to make the character's residence their hoard, and as such, going to extreme lengths to protect them and the residence?

OOOHHH 😮😳 How did you know dragons (and by extent dragon shifters) are my favourite things in the whole wide world!!!!!

As a treat, you get all four of the Lords' reactions. 😎

For extra drama, the dragon-shifter (you) basically crash land nearby (after a loooooonnnngggg flight) and decide to take up residence in the nearest abode while you rest, and end up getting comfortable and liking the area so decide to stay.

You have a full human form, fully dragon form, and an in-between form.

Also, you have like saintly levels of patience.

Heisenberg

It takes him a minute of staring to figure out that the giant dragon in the factory, is not a hallucination, induced by either the drinking he was doing the night prior, or a trick of Mother Miranda's trying to destabilize him mentally.

However this quickly turns into a lot of yelling "what the F are you doing in my factory!" and "What the F are you!" while chucking metal at you.

You melt the more dangerous pieces and yell at him to "Cease this nonsense! You can't hurt me like this."

Heisenberg.exe has stopped working.

He's partially re-evaluating his life like...did I just get sassed by a giant lizard.

You take the initiative to tell the small angry man telekinetically chucking metal around to chill. "Listen, I'm just going to rest here a few days then leave. You leave me alone, and I won't Incinerate you."

He quickly weighs up how much he doesn't want you here vs how much it will piss Mother Miranda off if he uses the giant dragon crash landing in his factory as an excuse to do absolutely nothing for her.

He's a bit annoyed about you taking up all the room by the forges so he can't make new soldats but...

Hate for Miranda wins!

He actually uses this as an excuse in his next report and Mother Miranda comes to 'get rid of the problem herself since Heisenberg cannot'...you almost incinerated her and she checked out. (He's putting that down as one of the best days of his life).

Since he now has nothing better to do he either leans on a nearby balcony or stands on a floating gear and starts trying to get your attention.

Will ask you everything from your name and where you came from to your favourite colour and if you have a specific favourite scale on your body.

You're distrustful and annoyed at first but soon warm up to this obviously lonely man.

You get so comfortable you decide you just might never leave.

The first time you feel comfortable enough to shift back to your human form Heisenberg is like (o_o) hot person! Two for one deal, annoying Mother Miranda plus Eye Candy!!!!

Makes a joke about having you turn into your dragon form again so he can keep making excuses to Mother Miranda. Which gets you curious and you ask about her, and he explains about the cadou, the experiments, and what she did to him.

He will make a bunk for you, so he can get back to work and you can stay near the heat of the forges, (absorbing the energy from the flames speeds up recovery and/or keeps you charged at 100% so you're always ready to burn a b1tch...specifically Miranda).

You both talk about whatever while he works. Lots of late night chats. One time he accidentally doused the forges and you just blew into the chamber and they re-lit immediately. (Mechanical Heart Eyes)

Since you start considering the entire factory to be your hoard, sometimes you claim a random object as your specific favourite piece for the day, maybe one of his tools or a specific piece of scrap. If he needs to use it, you won't let him and a small argument can be had. A solution is soon found though, you can't have a conflict of interest if your favourite item is him.

When you protect him, he's super flattered and hypes you up.

Cue him on the sides cheering you on.

If you two have started dating he will definitely yell "that's my boyfriend!" and gush about you to whoever happens to be standing next to him. (Bonus points if it's any of the other Lords. Especially Miranda, she is dying!)

Definitely makes a sign saying 'Beware of Dragon' to put on the fence.

Sometimes you jump to his defence even when he's in the middle of handling the threat. He gets huffy, saying he can take care of himself. You respond by telling him you won't let anything harm what's yours and once again, Heisenberg.exe is experiencing an error.

Alcina Dimitrescu

She is absolutely dismayed and angry at the giant lizard that barged its way through the doors and took up residency in her hall. It's tracking in mud and snow, burned the curtains, and took a good chunk of the wall, (letting in the cold).

Her daughters can't handle the cold, damn you!

Tries to fight you...fails. Turns out she's not immune to incineration and loses quite a few limbs (they grow back...eventually).

When she sees you shift to your human form, she's doubly-incensed...not only did you barge into her home but your also a D I S G U S T I N G M A N T H I N G !

You shift back whenever she tries to kill you so eventually she just gives up. (According to her she's waiting for the right opportunity NOT giving up.)

Wants to kill you, calls Mother Miranda for help and well, the same thing happens if you had crashed in the factory...she checks out!

Refuses to leave the castle for any reason, she's not leaving you along with her daughters.

Resigns herself to yelling insults at you from the balcony.

You respond in kind and it slowly devolves into a competition to come up with the most creative insults.

Your dragon form radiates heat...like...a lot. (Even counteracting the cold coming through the hole in the wall, which you attempted to fix.) This of course attracts the Dimitrescu daughters to the hall (against their mother's will).

If Alcina sees you lying their in dragon from, her three hive-mind children chattering away happily with you encouraging their curiosity, (Bela is half-asleep by your side, Daniela is complimenting your claws and asking about your bone structure, while Cassandra proudly proclaims her mother's are better than yours), she partly reconsiders her stance on you being a filthy, horrible, disgusting lizard man thing to just a filthy lizard man thing.

Seriously, your filthy, take a bath.

You quite enjoy all the little luxuries that can be found in the castle and decide to stay. Alcina almost shreds her hat in exasperation.

You get more comfortable and she starts to tolerate your presence, although she will take a swipe at you if she thinks she has a chance at killing you in your human form.

Jokes on her you can partially change and still fit through the hallways.

You never told her you've claimed the castle and the Dimitrescu family as your hoard but she does notice you being oddly friendly to her and she is "suspicious!"

You've met a few vampires and have a few suggestions for a more sustainable food source (buying blood donations from villagers instead of killing them). She's skeptical but considers it.

The first time you defend her is actually against Mother Miranda...over the phone. You have sharp hearing...and you don't like what you're hearing.

She's both flattered you would defend her so, and disgusted with herself for accepting a man thing's help.

When she realises she likes having you around, she starts to rationalise to herself that you're not just any man thing, you're her dragon man thing and therefore okay.

Gets more comfortable with leaving you with her daughters. You treat them well and keep them entertained?! That's a free babysitter if ever she's seen one.

When she sees the more extreme lengths you will go to protect the castle and her family, she is impressed and flattered and a little scared, and acts like it was her idea to have you stay.

"Oh, haven't you heard, that's the Dimitrescu Dragon."

Definitely rubs it in Heisenberg's face that she has a dragon and he doesn't.

Donna Beneviento

What are you!?!?!

To protect Donna, Angie is ready to fight you or die trying!

Just kind off avoids you and sends the pollen at you to make you leave.

The only one of the four Lords most likely to actually defeat you.

When you speak though, telling her to "release (your) mind, witch, or (you'll) incinerate everything", she's surprised and scared enough to actually do so.

Asks if you'll be her friend. Angie is cussing you out.

You see how scared and lonely she is and just *adoption mode activated*.

You only need to rest a few days, why not do so on friendly terms with your host. (keep telling yourself that).

It takes a day for you to shift to human form, partially because you don't want to have your measurements taken because Donna wants to make you a giant bonnet, (You reason it's a waste of resources, you'll only be here a short while).

Jokes on you, this is your home now.

You've never hoarded dolls before, but there's a first time for everything.

You will spend most of your time in human form since your dragon form kinda scares her.

Even though she's still scared of it, Donna does find your dragon form interesting and will ask to sketch you (from a distance...no fire please).

Make various over-exaggerated poses and joke about "draw me like one of your french girls" and she will laugh, (even though she doesn't get the joke).

She makes a plush doll of you. It turns inside out to shift between human and dragon.

The first time you protect her, she's scared. The flames take her straight back to her childhood, she's crying and she hides. You shift back to human form very quickly and find her, holding her close and apologising for scaring her over and over.

Will tear a man apart in human form to avoid this (or almost human form).

She slowly works up to being comfortable in your dragon form, the first time she falls asleep against your side is a good day.

You start insisting on accompanying her to meetings and escorting her whenever she has to meet another Lord. They start talking sh1t, they get hit (or burned...you let Donna choose).

Angie cheers you on.

Salvatore Moreau

He is terrified of you when you first show up.

You basically tear your way into the mines for shelter and he is frantically plugging the entrance to his home with the enzyme to hide.

Calls for "mother" to save him and that's how you find him.

You see this small deformed fish man crying in the mine and think, "i'm not gonna ask."

You settle in the slightly larger chamber and just lie down for a rest.

He soon realises your not going to attack him and ventures out to stare at you. He just keeps staring at you for like an uncomfortably long time, peeking around a doorway.

Eventual you snap and ask him to stop staring.

He slowly comes out of hiding and starts asking the basics.

"You can talk?" "Who are you?" "Why are you here?"

Seeing no reason not to, you tiredly answer all his questions.

Hearing about your long journey has him curiously asking about the places you've been to.

He quickly figures out you must have some sort of human form since you end up on the topics of favourite foods or movies and your favourites are all distinctly human. (He's the fastest at figuring this out and the least surprised when you shift).

Terrifying (hideous) creature going through an unnerving transformation into a humanoid form...he can relate. Although he's slightly jealous of how 'normal' you look when you shift to human form.

You two have a movie night where he proudly shows of his collection. It is in the middle of him analysing the context of THAT ONE SCENE that you decide, Yes...This one is mine.

The entire reservoir and mine is your territory and if anything comes anywhere near it they will be ash in 30 seconds.

When you protect him from danger, he's shocked that someone cares enough about him to f-ing incinerate a lycan for even looking at him weirdly.

You act like its natural and eventually he starts to get used to you.

Has self doubt and questions your motives...you tell him he's worth it or that he's your jewel.

C O N F I D E N C E B O O S T

Starts talking back to the other Lords when they insult him. It's easy with you hovering menacingly behind him, veins glowing with barely contained R A G E.

One source of friction however, is the fact that he doesn't like that you keep trying to kill Mother Miranda and he will latch onto you sobbing until you agree to spare her (for now...you'll get her when he's not around).

However, the longer you two know each other, the more self-confidence he gains and the more you talk through what Mother Miranda did to him and why he deserves better, (pointing out her manipulation, analyses whether she's ever 'cared' about him, etc...), the less bothered he gets. (Give it a few years, he'll cheer you on alongside Heisenberg).

Bonus:

The second you see Mother Miranda...it is on sight. (Especially if you know what she did to the Lords).

Cue you shifting to dragon form and preparing to unleash a volley of flame, "I smell the blood of children on you."

You may be comfortable(ish) with the actions of your housemate but you have STANDARDS.

Alright 😊 Hoped you like these headcanons, jaychirps. They were really fun to write and grew quite a bit. 😅

(I feel like Moreau's a bit ooc but I don't know enough about him to dispute that claim....)

Oh and p.s. ... asks are open.

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seyaryminamoto · 3 years

Note

As someone, who's favourite character is Zuko, let me just say that your analysis about the Southern Raiders is spot on. Something about that episode (especially the way Zuko acted) always felt a little... off to me. And I could never figure out what it was exactly and considering the fact that discussion about this episode centered around the Kataang vs Zutara, I thought I was the only one who felt that way. So, I guess thanks for putting my thoughts into words.

Oh, I really feel ya, anon. If you actually don't look at the episode from a shipping point of view, which seems to be the focus of most the fandom, a lot of unpleasant things really start sticking out. I'm personally neutral to the Kataang vs. Zutara debate, I see good points and drawbacks to both ships, and no one's going to convince me that this episode proved the superiority of either pairing, especially when the shipping interpretations have never been important to me when analyzing this episode. People can say Aang is right in the end, they can say Zuko understands Katara's plight better (which, considering Aang has lost even more people he loved than Zuko has, he certainly should have understood Katara's suffering quite well too), but focusing on whether Zuko or Aang are the angel or the devil on Katara's shoulders practically blinds everyone to the very glaring and mindboggling flaws in this episode's writing, imo.

In general, the concept of Zuko's life-changing field trips with the three Gaang members he'd wronged the most is fine and fun for most people, but from the first time I watched the show it felt like the production team knew they were pressed for time and needed some veeeery quick and effective solution for Zuko to gain acceptance in the Gaang ASAP despite all the bad blood there. I can imagine a lot of people love these episodes, but admittedly I wouldn't rank any of them among my favorites because, as interesting as some of their concepts could be, if executed right, my immersion certainly wasn't as strong as with the rest of the show due to the nagging feeling that this was all for the sake of redeeming Zuko in the eyes of each Gaang member... and not necessarily in the eyes of the audience.

They get away with it, of course, because by this point in time, the audience is 100% conditioned to love the Gaang and Zuko, and if you see them getting along, you should be rejoicing in their team-up... but if you put some emotional distance between yourself as a viewer and the events of these episodes, their writing leaves a lot to be desired, especially in the concept of giving Zuko a quick whitewashing in the eyes of Aang, Sokka and Katara, one after the other, so they can genuinely accept him as a teammate and friend. If we'd seen similar trips frequently or occasionally in the rest of the show, with two specific members of the team taking off on an adventure by themselves, it might not be so glaringly obvious (and even... artificial? I guess?) that they're trying to quick-redeem him for each of them here, but on top of it happening thrice, it's literally happening one after the other, too. There's no episodes in-between, it's just literally a four-parter arc of "let's help Zuko become friends with these three".

The plotlines to be dealt with in these episodes are basically catered to each Gaang member, tailor-made life-changing field trips based on whatever they'll value the most, all of it conveniently possible and doable in the span of time they have between Zuko's joining of their group and the show's finale. Aang needs to learn firebending, Sokka needs to save his dad, Katara is permanently grieving for her mother's death. And so, Zuko to the rescue! If he helps them with their personal character quests, he gets 50+ approval points! :'D Honestly, I'm absolutely not against the notion of Zuko befriending them, obviously not, but the methods through which they chose to make it happen simply might not be the finest...?

Zuko loses his ability to bend because he "lost his rage", but he's still angry pretty often, the show even spoofs its own writing by showing him losing his patience at Sokka... while at the same time trying to sell that Zuko "isn't angry" anymore? Zuko helps break out random prisoners from the Boiling Rock without taking a single moment to actually learn who they are, why they were locked up, and without pondering if they deserve to be helped or if perhaps they're genuinely dangerous? Zuko gives Katara every possible tool and information she needs to take revenge on Yon Rha, because, loosely quoting his own words, he "cares what she thinks of him"...?

How about if we'd seen Zuko trying to connect with Fire Nation people, to help his fellow Fire Nation citizens, especially the ones who were living in dreadful conditions, like the ones in the Jang Hui river village? How about if we'd seen Zuko saving lives rather than threatening to take them? How about if we'd seen Zuko actually reasoning with his anger, and either working his way out of it, or repurposing it consciously, or making legitimate, personal efforts to find a new source of strength for his firebending through self-reflection, above all else?

We didn't really need sudden one-on-one field trips to teach Aang, Katara and Sokka to trust Zuko: we needed Zuko to prove himself worthy of that trust, to show how much he has changed, to literally contrast his new behavior with the old, to actually see that the guy no longer jumps into violence-mode 24/7, that he's willing to listen to other people's opinions or wisdom, that he wants to learn better when he knows he's misguided or misunderstanding something or another. Would he have become BFFs with any of them in four episodes if this had happened? Well, it definitely would have happened with Aang, the other two would have been trickier, but they definitely would have been more willing to accept him if they actually got to SEE that the changes in Zuko weren't skin-deep. Katara can be as thick-headed and stubborn as she may want to be, but I have no doubts she wouldn't have been able to hate Zuko as much as she used to if she'd seen him helping people, much like she often wants their group to do. But instead, they don't get to see the actual changes and growth... they just get their biggest goals and wishes satisfied, and that's enough to decide Zuko's trustworthy, no matter whatever sketchy behavior he displays in later episodes.

I absolutely appreciate the worldbuilding context we gain for the raids on the Water Tribe through The Southern Raiders, but I don't think this was an organic way to tell the story of how Zuko became friends with the Gaang. If pressed, I'd even say that Zuko's overt desperation to be their friend is OOC, to a degree: if this guy actually knows how dangerous his father's plans are (and he's supposed to :'D), how isn't he focusing on that side of things, when he's always been such a go-getter? It's not like he grew out of this sort of ends-justify-the-means behavior, seeing as he's absolutely obsessed with stopping his father ASAP, by any means possible, in the finale, when there was no such urgency to be found ever since he joined the Gaang. How isn't he more worried about stopping Ozai than about becoming best friends with the Gaang? Immediately sharing everything he's learned about Ozai's intentions of destroying the whole world might not make them friends instantaneously, but it would certainly get someone like Sokka to take his information seriously and immediately begin strategizing how to counter Ozai's plans. Instead, Zuko spent all those weeks, over a month, even, teaching Aang firebending, going on field trips and hanging out with his new friends in Ember Island. Once you have all the cards on deck and you actually look at all of them at once, doesn't it feel like there were so many more ways to achieve what the show was going for, far more effective ways than through the "let's be friends with Zuko" arc?

Ultimately, there's very little display of growth, in my opinion, in this small arc, on Zuko's side, despite the most obvious and reasonable way to earn the trust of the Gaang would be by outright showing them how much he's grown. I won't deny I appreciate that the writers respected his personality and didn't just warp him into the perfect good softboi the way the fandom apparently interprets him, but even if Zuko was going to be cranky and speak one-liners like "I'm never happy", it wasn't impossible to write better situations for him to connect with the Gaang's members and gain their trust. Even if the writers were set on having these episodes happen exactly as they did, they absolutely could have been written in a much better way, to create an explicit and direct contrast between Zuko's early behavior and the new Zuko's behavior when it comes to things that matter (most the parallels I've seen the fandom drawing are things like "oh look he hated tea before but now he brews it for his friends! So much growth!"... would've been nice to see the growth when it came to a lot of other things, too, if the growth really was there? Am I rite...?).

I may just be influenced by other redemption arcs that focus mainly on characters having common goals and working together to achieve them, then becoming friends in the process... but I really don't see how Zuko's character benefited from these episodes. Yes, bridges were built... but they absolutely could have been built in a more organic way that didn't make people like myself (and a few others) question if Zuko had learned or grown at all, considering the way he behaves isn't all that distant from the Zuko we've seen and known throughout the rest of the show. And the fact that he really seems to have learned nothing in The Southern Raiders once you reach the show's finale... you're basically asked to take for granted Zuko did learn a lot of lessons because he says he did, to assume he's going to put them into practice sometime in the future despite he has chances to do it during the show itself but never does, simply because they drop the ball upon every opportunity to show how much he's changed.

I really don't blame his character at all, when it comes to these shortcomings... it's seriously, genuinely, a problem with the writing department. Take a look through the fandom and you'll see thousands of people who claim Zuko's character arc is the most touching, complex and beautiful writing they ever have seen... and why? Because we're in the face of tell-don't-show :'D most people's perception of Zuko's character are based not so much on HOW Zuko displays his growth, it's strongly based on him stating he made progress, even if there's too many instances where the growth simply seems to have fallen to the wayside or gone forgotten for the sake of a plotline or another. Zuko absolutely could have been written far better than this, he could absolutely have the redemption arc his fans are sure he does have, but for me... there's way too many gaps in logic, too many missed opportunities, to truly think his growth was as extraordinary as a lot of people are hung up on saying it was.

#anon #woops #I probably shouldn't have written this much here but what can I say #I've got beef with these storylines #and I unfortunately can't bbq it (?)#so instead I ramble and ramble and hope you guys forgive me for how long-winded I can be :'D

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kirislut · 4 years

Note

Hiiii, it is me 😎✌️ I had this request in my mind for a while, and when I found ur page I was like, I feel like you’d write it perfectly!!!! The request: Bakugou or Todoroki having a very tough day, then when their S/O tries to bring them like soup or smth, they throw it on the floor, and the glass cuts the S/Os hands and they try to hide it while picking up everything, and when the boy sees their hand w a bandage later on in the day, they feel SO GUILTY!! Also, w fluff at the end pls! Thank u!

a/n: heyyy 😎✌️, first, thanks for this request! second, i don’t know if i can write it perfectly but i hope you like it absksj. definitely don’t feel any pressure 😳 (i got too excited and wrote a lot....whoops)

warnings: bakugou(swearing), mention of getting cut, mention of blood

Katsuki Bakugou

bakugou is an angry guy, everyone knows that. but today he was especially pissed off. he had gotten into a heated argument with kirishima after training. usually he didn’t care but this time he knew he was wrong but was too damn stubborn and prideful ever admit it.

so instead of working it out with his best friend he was just extra pissed off today. which was unfortunate for you.

when he came back to the shared dorms, you were busy cooking some spicy ramen for the both of you. luckily you had finished training earlier that day, so you and time to surprise your boyfriend!

stomping feet could be heard as you dished yourself and bakugou up, and hearing the stomping meant you knew he was close by. lucky for you he was actually sitting at a nearby table, grumbling to himself about something. you didn’t know what however.

excited to surprise your lover, you practically skip over to the angry blonde. “katsuki! i made some spicy for you~” when you set the bowl in front of him he just grunted and swiped it off the table. “leave me the fuck alone.”

he didn’t even spare you a glance as you just gawked at him, what had you done wrong? gulping nervously you’re just turned to start cleaning up. you used napkins to pick up and wipe up the spilled ramen then started to pick up the broken ceramic.

you didn’t notice that a particular piece was sharp, grabbing it caused you to feel a stinging situation in your palm. so when you pulled away it dragged, creating a now bleeding gash in your palm.

a whimper escaped from you, quickly applying pressure to the wound to delay the bleeding. you moved to the kitchen and used paper towels to clean up your bloody palm, all while bakugou sat there blissfully unaware.

as you cleaned yourself up, the still extra angry male got up from the table and stomped off to his room. he scolded you to leave him alone, because he was actuallt considering apologizing. that thought was pissing him off, and not to mention thinking about how to be kind for once was a slight challenge. only because he was stubborn in this matter.

by the time bakugou was in his dorm room, you had finished up cleaning and were now wrapping up your hand with some gauze because a bandaid wouldn’t suffice. even if bakugou didn’t eat the ramen, didn’t mean you would let it go to waste.

but as your began to ate, you were replaying the situation to try and figure out what went wrong. sure bakugou has a bad temper but this was a different kind of anger which you haven’t seen before. you were absolutely certain you didn’t do anything wrong, so why was bakugou upset?

quickly finishing up your meal and putting away your dishes, you went to bakugou’s room because you were worried about him. it was honestly kinda crazy on how you weren’t even angry or upset with the male, just worried for him because you loved him that much.

everyone has their moments and slip ups were they release their anger on to someone else unintentionally, and you knew that very well. because of a certain boy.

standing in front of your boyfriends door, you knocked. when he didn’t respond after a few seconds you just opened the door and proceeded.

“oi! who said you— oh.” his angry expression faltered when he saw you standing there. lucky for you he was able to calm down after thinking it through and developing a plan. a perfect plan to be precise. nothing less from the ambitious guy himself.

“about earlier, are you okay? you haven’t eaten yet and i know you’re angry.” you shut the door behind you and join bakugou on his bed. bakugou lets out a sigh, leaning back against his headboard and staring at the ceiling.

“you a stalker or something? how can you always read me so well.” bakugou let out another sigh, this time more of a huff as he patted the space beside him. signaling you to sit by him.

as you scooted over to place yourself by him you responded, “i’m your lover katsuki, i think it would be bad if i didn’t know you well wouldn’t it?” the blonde glanced at you then did a little nod. he knew you knew him well, and he kinda loved how sometimes you could practically read his mind.

“i got into a fight with shittyhair, i don’t want to say more because i know i’ll get mad again.” as the spiky blonde explained, he noticed the gauze around your hand. he immediately grabbed your wrist, being gentle, and brought you hand up. “what happened.”

hearing bakugou’s stern tone made you gulp, “i cut myself that’s all! just need to be more careful.” even though you were playing cool bakugou also knew you too well as well. he thought back to when he spotted you in the kitchen, you didn’t have this before. even if you thought bakugou didn’t spare you a glance, he would always look at you once. whether you notice it or not.

his jaw clenched when he realized that he was the cause of this, great today he fucked up twice with two of the people he valued deeply. his silence was definitely worrying you, was he going to yell? you weren’t sure what to expect for once.

his next move you did give you a bit of a surprise. your boyfriend leaned forward and pressed such a soft kiss against your forward. you never knew his kisses could feel so gentle yet loving. “i’m sorry.”

even if his apology was simple, it was all he needed to say. the rest was communicated with his actions. you smiled brightly at bakugou, reciprocating his actions, you pressed a loving kiss against his lips.

the rest of the night was filled with lots of kisses and a plethora of cuddles.

Shouto Todoroki

there is no beating around the bush here, todoroki was having an absolutely terrible day. he was supposed to visit his mother but his father visited him instead. he lectured his son about how he needs to focus on becoming the number one hero, not messing around with a lover. this led to an agruement which also stopped him from seeing his mother because visiting hours had ended by the time he got there.

so when he came back to the dorm, after an entire day basically going garage. he was not happy, in fact he was quite pissed. he didn’t even try to hide his scowl as he passed by you.

“sho? hey sho what’s wrong?” your boyfriend stopped to look back at you. “(y/n) i’m fine. just a little tired.” todoroki went to turn, but you grabbed his hand.

“are you sure? you should eat dinner before going to bed at least. i even have some left over cold soba!” before he could reject you you dragged him off into the kitchen and served him the left over soba you made for yourself not to long ago.

“(y/n) i’m not hungry.” he replied simply. but you weren’t going to let him get off that easily. “sho please eat.” you insisted.

this turned into a banter of back and forth between you two. you kept insisting he ate, whike todoroki kept refusing. he was losing his patience with each time.

as a last cause resort and grabbed his hand and placed the bowl in it, “shouto you need to eat!” your tone was raised and more stern this time. you weren’t angry but just concerned and worried.

but this pushed todoroki over the edge. his hands trembled for a moment before he chucked the bowl at the ground, “(y/n), you don’t need to act like a parent. i can do whatever i want.”

the fact that todoroki didn’t even raise his voice at you, yet it held so much anger, made you tremble in fear. you stood there frozen in shock as your boyfriend proceeded to walk away.

your fists clenched at your sides, now you were getting upset like todoroki was. how could he just throw the food on the ground? besides he was never one to act like this. sure he got angry, as everyone does, but it was another level.

you crouched down and started to pick up the broken pieces of the bowl. trying your best to be careful. but as you reached for a piece of ceramic, another piece of the broken bowl dragged along your finger. immediately you pulled your hand back, cringing at the stinging sensation. there was another piece of bowl beside the one you were reaching, which had a sharp edge sticking up towards you.

you swore under your breath as bleed started to leak from the wound, getting up to take care of it before you finished cleaning up.

on the other hand, todoroki was cooling off in his room. and now starting to feel guilty for what he had said and done. he knew he shouldn’t have been so harsh with you. but you just happened to push him over the edge.

he wasn’t angry with you, no, mostly at himself. he knew he should’ve informed his father himself that he started dating you, but he never got around to it. which led him to finding out on his own and the previous agruement to occur.

but even if his father disagreed, there was no way he was going to lose you. he would prove that you were no distraction, and in fact motivation. before he could prove that, he need to apologize to you first.

leaving his room, he went back down to see if you were still in the kitchen area. but you weren’t, so he went back up to the dorm rooms.

when he got to your room, he didn’t bother knock and just opened the door. “(y/n)?” hearing todoroki’s voice made you look up from your phone. you were just scrolling on social media to take your mind off you little fight with your boyfriend

“shouto, do you need something?” you watched as he came into your room, shutting the door behind him, and going straight to you. he sat himself down across from you, looking at his lap as he thought of how to say what he wanted.

“i’m sorry for throwing your soba. i’m sure it was amazing, but i was just angry. before i was able to visit my mother, my father stopped me give me a scolding about how he disagrees with our relationship.” todoroki looked up at you as he finished, surprised to see how sad you looked.

“but (y/n) don’t worry, i’m not letting him stop our relationship. i can never give you up, please remember that i always love you.” he reached out and gently held your face in his hands, not wanting you to think that he would ever let someone like his father get in the way of you both.

your frown was soon replaced with a smile, honestly you were slightly embarrassed to let yourself think that todoroki would give up on your relationship just because of his own dad.

nuzzling you’re face into his touch, you reached up and covered his hands with your own. but as you did so, todoroki was quick to notice that your finger was covered up by a large bandage.

“was that from me?” todoroki asked as he frowned, letting go of your face and carefully taking your hand so that he could look at your finger.

“no sho! it was my fault, i was careless.” you watched as todoroki lightly shook his head. “no it’s my fault my love, i’m sorry again.” he brought your hand up to his face and placed a warm kiss against your bandaged finger.

watching him made your heart flutter, how did you end up with such a caring boy? todoroki didn’t stop kissing just your finger. he kissed the back of your palm then moved forward to kiss your forehead, then your cheek, then finally your lips.

you smiled happily against his lips. you just so happy to know that nothing could get between you and your beloved. not even his father. and not even a bowl of soba.

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suchalonelysunflower · 3 years

Text

Babylon (l.h)

End Up Here -Part 5

Pairing: Luke Hemmings x 5sos! Fem! Reader

Summary: A lot has happened and too many things were left unsaid. Even after a month they still find ways to be in each others mind.

Warnings: Angst and smut. Mentions of vioence, physical abuse, mental abuse, sexual abuse, harassment, cheating, fighting, sexism, frustrations, alcohol. Language and some grammatical errors (English is not my first language, I’m sorry)

Word count : 10.1 k

Author’s Note: I cried a lot writing this, so I’m sorry. Final Part coming up March 16th! Remember that Reblogs, Feedback, Comments and Likes are very important! You have no idea how much they help me ❤️ Hope you like it and Happy Reading 🦋🌻✨

My Materialist // wanna be part of my tag list?

Series Materialist || part 1 || part 2 || part 3 || part 4

Liked by banksmadden, 5soslover55 and 1,750,316 others

yn5sos how did I end up here?

View all 55,432 comments

ashtonirwin who’s there with you?

hater7 pathetic

ynfan2 LEAVE HER ALONE PLEASE

5sosfan9 this is so irresponsible. I thought you were better.

↪️ yn5sos me too

“OUT OF CONTROL: Singer Y/N L/N seeing partying once again after the concert. L/N was last seen with a crowd of people, none of which were her bandmates”

“Sensitive, are we? On their last concert, Y/N L/N from the band 5 Seconds of Summer was caught running away from the stage mid-show, leaving her poor bandmates Calum Hood and Michael Clifford to finish the song for her. L/N came back minutes later to finish the show. Videos show the singer crying along to the love songs”

“5SOS BREAKING UP? SINGER Y/N L/N GOING M.I.A ON BAND’S SOCIAL MEDIA LEAVES FANS CONFUSED AND WORRIED”

“Y/N?!” Ashton kept banging at the door. His patience ran thin as the girl refused to answer “Y/N! C’mon!”

“She’s still not answering?” A voice called behind him.

Calum and Michael were already dressed up, ready for another day of interviews in a foreign language. Ashton assumed that the girls were already downstairs waiting for them.

The older man shook his head, frustration clear on his face as he kept banging on the door like it was his drums.

“Y/N, I will break down the door if you don’t open it!”

It wasn’t an empty promise. They could pay the hotel after but he’d be damned if something happens to Y/N.

She hasn’t been herself since Luke left. When they came back from doing promo that day they were met with the news of him leaving. Y/N didn’t leave her room that whole day.

They were mad, furious even, with Luke. All the things they warned him about were thrown down the drain. They told them not to believe the media and to talk to Y/N but he did none of those things, he only made it worse for all of them, especially the girl who was now spending half the tour absent-minded over heartbreak.

She told them several times that she was fine “I asked him to leave” She would say. But they know better than to believe her right away when she says those stuff, not after that night when she told them the truth about Madden. They swore never to make that mistake again, but history was repeating itself! Only this time it was ten times worse.

Y/N would go out every night after the show, no matter in which part of the world they found themselves in. She was determined to drown herself in alcohol rather than self-pity. They tried to spot her several times but she wouldn’t listen, so they agreed that at least one of them would accompany her whenever she went out just to make sure that she is safe and that she doesn’t go too far.

Last night, however, it was Michael’s turn but Beth felt sick so he couldn't go. He texted Calum, but he was already asleep so he didn’t see the message. Ashton was out with Dani for a date night and when he came back he found Michael in the lobby asking for some medicine for Beth’s stomach and when Calum answered their call with a sleepy voice they realized that Y/N was alone.

And now she wouldn’t answer the door.

“Y/N, I swear to God!”

“Why do you gotta bring the lord into this?”

The three men turned around and found Y/N standing next to them. Her hair was messy and her makeup was smudged, but his eyes remained empty as she looked at them quizzically.

“Were you already downstairs this whole time?!” Ashton asked, raising his voice. Y/N cringed as she shushed him.

“Ugh, could you talk any louder? My head is killing me”

Calum looked at his friend up and down, realizing what was happening “You just came back, didn’t you?”

All three of them turned their heads to her, unable to believe what was in front of them. This wasn’t the Y/N they knew. She was never like this, ever.

Y/N rolled her eyes at the sad, angry, and pitiful looks of her friends. She didn’t need to answer what was obvious.

“Where were you all this time?” Michael asked “We were worried sick”

“Wow, thanks dad,” She said with sarcasm, walking towards her door as she tried to find her key somewhere along with her pockets “I was at the bar. Did you know they open 24 hs? There’s no such thing as the last call here! I love this country”

She let out a little squeal of joy when she finally found her key, pushing Ashton out of the way with the side of her body as she inserted it on the lock.

“We have an interview in 30 minutes!” He reminded her.

“Yeah, your girl told me that downstairs” She answered before she started to close the door “Have fun with that”

But before she could close it completely, Ashton’s foot got in the way.

“You can’t keep doing this, Y/N,” He said with a serious tone, ignoring the pain of the door hitting his foot, still trying to close on him.

Y/N pushed a little harder “I want to sleep, Ashton. Good night”

“No! Goddammit, Y/N. This has gone too far!”

She opened the door, making Ashton trip, and almost fell to the floor in front of her. She was beyond pissed as she began to talk.

“No! Everything has already gone too far, I’m just catching up!” She spat loudly, making the boys look at her in surprise “Madden went too far, the media went too far, the industry went too far and Luke went too far. And I let them crash into me like I’m just a bystander, waiting to pick up the pieces they left of me! So excuse me for finally doing whatever they thought I did. Forgive me for catching up to this fucked up world and finally live up to their false expectations! But I’m not allowed to break down, not right now and probably not ever! So I will keep running. Maybe that way, if I catch up, they’ll leave me the fuck alone” Her eyes filled with tears as she spoke, but she will not cry in front of them. Not anymore “So, good fucking night”

Ashton closed his eyes when he felt the wind of the door slamming inches away from his face. He raised his hand to knock again, but soon he let it fall with a sigh.

He turned around to face the guys and they all had the same hurt expression, not because she hurt them, but because she was hurting herself. They all thought she was doing it unconsciously, but now it was rather obvious that she knew exactly what she was doing.

Y/N is destroying herself because there’s almost nothing left of her. So she’s speeding up the process.

“We can’t leave her like that” Michael said in a whisper, none of them were looking at the door right now, all their eyes were set on the floor as they contemplated their options.

“Well, she doesn’t want to see us. That’s for fucking sure” Calum murmured.

The three men stood in silence in the hallway. Breathing heavily from time to time as their minds tried to find a way to reach out to Y/N before it was too late.

“We have to do something” Michael broke the silence again, fidgeting with his fingers as he met the worried eyes of his two best friends “The fans are already saying that she’s going to leave the band and-“

“No,” Ashton interrupted him, clenching his jaw as the headlines of the articles ran through his mind “We are not letting that happen”

“But what if she wants to?”

“Then that’s not our Y/N/N,” He said “And I refuse to lose her this way or in any way, for that matter”

After a few minutes, it was clear that Y/N was not coming out of her room any time soon. So the boys had to get downstairs to get to the interviews, already thinking about excuses to justify her absence once again.

They wanted to stay with her, but management was already being too hard on them as it is, and they didn’t want Y/N to pay the consequences if they didn’t show up to at least one promo interview. So they had no choice but to leave her alone in her room.

Once the elevator doors opened, the three of them were met with the worried eyes of their girlfriends who quickly met up with them halfway.

“How is she doing? She didn’t speak to us when she came through the doors” Bethany explained as she stood next to Michael, grabbing his hand in comfort.

Ashton just shook his head.

“We talked,” Kat said with a sigh “We decided that we are staying here with her”

“What?”

“You’ll be fine in the interviews without us, but she needs someone. Even if we just wait for her in the lobby all day. Someone needs to check up on her” Kat continued.

“She’s lonely,” Danielle followed, “Even if she doesn’t want to admit it. She’s hurting too much for words to even describe”

The boys knew they were right. Even if Y/N doesn’t want to, they will still be there for her every step of the way. They were not going to leave her to drown.

“Thank you,” Ashton said, truthfully “But there’s gotta be something else we could do for her… just standing by and keeping an eye on her while she wastes away is just…”

He couldn’t finish the sentence, he didn’t need to. They all knew what he was referring to; that damn feeling of helplessness and hopelessness.

“We’ll figure something out,” Calum said confidently “We are not going to give up on her”

There was nothing much to do back in L.A. as Luke found out when he stepped out of the plane almost a month ago. His life has completely changed since he met her and now… Now she was gone and he was left with nothing.

It was his own fault, that’s what he reminded himself every single day since the morning Y/N asked him to leave. He acted on emotions rather than with reason, angry with the world that allowed him to get close to her just to rip her out of his hands the moment he realized his mistakes. He should’ve listened, should’ve fought, should’ve stayed. He should’ve done a lot of things and now he doesn’t even have the chance to fix it.

He hasn’t checked anything about Y/N since he came back. No articles, no tweets, no posts… nothing. He feels as if he didn’t have the right anymore. He never had the right to do it from the beginning, not without letting them fill his brains with lies that eventually left him in pieces.

How could he? How could he let all those things get to him? Everyone told him to ignore them, not to believe the lies that were written for the clicks and the gossip. He knew the truth, he lived with it, and yet, he had turned on her the second it had become too much.

Y/N was a private person and Luke could never understand why. Why if she was so private with her life did every news article write about her? They were all lies. And if he had at least an ounce of decency he would’ve realized that sooner and stand by her side instead of siding with the media. Yet, those thoughts were sticking with him at the back of his head, haunting him even in his sleep.

How easy it was for him to turn away from her. How easy it was for him to leave her. But how hard it was to ignore the love he feels for her, knowing that she won’t take him back and with good reason. Y/N deserves better, in every way, shape, or form. She was such a bright light in such a dark world, and he just hopes she will be strong enough to see it someday, even if he’s not by her side anymore.

God, he was just a fucking idiot.

And now, as he walked past the coffee shop where they first met while he fought the urge to cry again, he was willing to beat himself up for it. For losing the only person he cared about just because he wasn’t brave enough to fight for her as he should’ve. There wasn’t anything that didn’t remind him of Y/N, nothing he could do to shake the self-inflicted pain he caused, so he thought better than to let it consume him.

Luke sat on an empty bench near the campus, his classes didn’t start until a month from today but he longed for some kind of distraction. Once he settled, he took out his notebook and started writing. He doesn’t write about love anymore, rather he wrote about the loss of it while still mourning it fresh on the flesh. Finally understanding what Ashton meant when he said that heartbreak breaks you, and, for a moment, he thought about how she might feel at this moment; if she, at least once, thought of him with something wasn’t hate.

He spent hours sitting outdoors, writing as if his time were to end at any moment. He wrote letters of forgiveness, poems of grief, and free thoughts of the guilt he was feeling. He didn’t mention her, but they were all about and for her. For his Y/N who was now a world away and who he will not call his ever again.

It must’ve been late when his phone started to ring; the streetlights were starting to lit up the pavement as the sun started to set, leaving soft shades of pink and purple to cover up the sky. He didn’t know the number, so he let it ring thinking it might be just one company trying to sell him something he didn’t need.

But the unknown caller was relentless; calling and calling until Luke decided to answer after the fourth time.

“Hello?” He said, annoyed by the interruption. He didn’t want to talk to anyone; not like he had anyone to talk to, after all.

“You fucker” The voice at the other end said. Luke froze when he recognized it.

“A-Ashton?”

“Were you expecting the fucking queen?” He sounded angry and even through the phone he left Luke completely intimidated as he sunk into his seat.

“How - Whose number is this?” Luke asked, knowing he had all their numbers saved in his phone.

“Would you have answered if you saw my name on the screen?” He wouldn’t, they both know it. But at the same time…

“Why are you calling me?” He finally muttered, his head wrapped around the only reason Ashton, out of all people, would be calling him. He knew it was not to catch up “Is Y/N okay?! Did something happen to her?!”

Something must be terribly wrong if Ashton was calling him. That man was very protective over his best friend and Luke was sure he would’ve killed him if he found him the day where he yelled at her, knowing that Y/N must’ve told him everything. He knew Y/N was not going to forgive him and neither will the boys for that matter. That day he lost more than just his girl.

Ashton laughed without any kind of humor “No, she’s not. Of course, she’s not! You happened to her, mate. I don’t know what the fuck you did but she hasn’t been the same since you left.”

Luke’s eyes widened “She didn’t tell you?”

If he thought about it, it really wasn’t that surprising. Y/N never talked about her problems with him, but the boys always knew everything, them being the only people she knew she could trust with her whole heart. Luke had always been jealous of that, but once he found out the truth of why she kept some things for herself he understood why she could only trust her bandmates with it. He immediately thought that she would tell them everything, every word he said and the hateful words he wrote, but she didn’t and that could not mean anything good.

“She told us enough. That you believed the lies of her and Madden and didn’t let her explain before you lashed out and she asked you to leave. Not a single detail about it, only that you were gone and were not coming back. I guess she didn’t want us to kick your ass, but Luke, you better be certain that-”

“I know!” Luke said with a sigh “I deserve it”

“Dude, what the fuck did you do to her?”

How could he tell him? How could he mutter the courage to tell one of his best friends how he absolutely fucked up? Ashton would hate him, with every reason in the world he should hate him. Luke just hoped that he didn’t.

He, Calum, and Michael were the only friends he knew since he met Y/N. They took him in, welcomed him into the group with gritted teeth with the only condition to never hurt their friend. And after a year of being friends, he broke not only Y/N’s trust but theirs as well. And the fact that Y/N didn’t tell them what he’d done seemed cruel because now he had to. Breaking more hearts than their own.

“I fucked up, Ash” Luke muttered, rubbing his eyes with his fingertips as he crouched forward on the bench and placing his elbows on the top of his thighs, getting ready to face the consequences of his actions “I fucked up badly. I was just- You saw those articles, you saw those tweets and those photos. She never talked about him so I thought… What was I supposed to think? She had a reputation, and with the way, she acted the night before it all made sense to me. So I snapped”

“Luke, I swear to GOD if you touched her-”

“NO! God no, I would never!” Luke quickly stated, horrified at the thought of ever hitting her. He was not like that. He would never be like that “But the things I said to her… fuck, Ash. I threw everything in her face, called her a whore and a cheater without giving her a chance to explain herself. I was so fucking angry and she didn’t say a word. She took all of it in silence and I kept going, even when she begged me to stop I kept going... I didn’t know. You must know that I didn’t know what happened to her or her past with Madden. If I knew then I would’ve never-”

“But you did”

Ashton's words were simple, but they cut deeper than a knife through Luke’s heart. He never heard him sound so disappointed and angry. It reminded him of her and the last words she said to him.

“Luke, this girl has been through so much and you still went and dragged her through the mud just to hurt her”

“I didn’t want to-”

“Don’t fucking interrupt me” Ashton barked into the phone “You did. She gave you everything she could give and you threw it on her face like it was nothing without a chance to explain herself. And it’s not like she could run off, turn off her comments and go back to a normal life! I have never seen Y/N so broken since-” He stopped “What did she tell you?”

Luke knew he was referring to Madden. He remembers her face covered in tears, lips trembling and body shaking as she told him what happened in that relationship. He finally saw the hurt and scars that covered her soul.

“She told me what she could”

Ashton sighed “Then you must know that she would never go back to him,” He said, Luke could tell by his voice that he was hurting, too “He met her at a concert in our second world tour as a solo act. He is the son of a very famous producer and they hit it off right away. We didn’t know exactly when things turned for the worse, but we knew something was happening. She would cover herself more, never hanging out with us unless he was present, she wouldn’t eat in front of him or talk to any of us directly unless it was something about work and that still pissed him off. We all heard the rumors of him cheating on her, but she always dismissed them saying that he loved her and he would never do that. I still wonder what other things we didn’t know that she’s still processing.

It wasn’t until the night he almost killed her that we understood the severity of it. She came by my house while I and the others were hanging out. She was bleeding all over herself, her face was covered in blood just as her shirt and pants. It was terrifying; I don’t remember ever driving that far to the hospital, paying the nurses to keep quiet because she kept asking to keep it a secret. That bastard broke her nose and one of her ribs. She had bruises on her arms, stomach, eye, inner thighs, and legs and a cut over her eyebrow. She lost a lot of blood on her way to my house so Calum had to donate some of his because she needed a transfusion. She stayed in the hospital overnight; the next morning we filed a restraining order against Madden and she moved in with me that same day, promising herself and to us that she would never let someone do that again to her. We promise we would never let anything happen to her from that moment on”

Luke was shedding silent tears at Ashton’s story, all the things he imagined happened to her didn’t compare to the reality she suffered. And he only made it worse.

��She was never the same after that” Ashton continued “Until you came into the picture”

Ashton could hear Luke crying over the phone, his sniffs had given him away. But he knew he needed to hear this; he needed to know.

“We didn’t want you to get close to her, afraid you might hurt her the same way Madden did, but she insisted that you were different, that you were a good guy. And against our better judgment, we believed her. We never expected that little by little, we would get our Y/N/N back. She was smiling again, laughing and singing songs about the love we never thought she’d be able to sing again. It was so obvious that she loved you that we couldn't do anything about it but be happy for her, you brought her back to us.

I guess Madden saw that and didn’t like it, that’s why he came to see her that night. We don’t know much about what happened there or what he said to her, but she was shaking when she came back. All she said was that he cornered her, threatened her and called the paparazzi that worked for his father to take pictures of them, and since we were not in America, there was nothing the restraining order to do to help her”

“He did what?!” Luke shouted at the phone, fuming over the fact that that fucker decided to get close to her when she was vulnerable. He promised that if he ever saw him he’d kill him.

“Now you care about what happened?” Ashton asked in return, frustration lacing his voice at Luke’s sudden feeling of protection “Luke, she called you over ten times that day as she was breaking down in the green room. She asked us all if we could get ahold of you because the driver came back without you. She was so fucking scared and you weren’t there when she needed you by her side. So don’t you fucking dare get offended right now. It already happened and you weren’t there”

Ashton was right. Luke had no right to be furious at the moment, given that he was the one who abandoned her deliberately when he saw the pictures of her and her abuser. He had the excuse of ignorance, but that wasn’t enough. It never has, not it ever will be, because his girlfriend needed him at the time and he left her alone.

He cried into the phone, not caring if Ashton could listen or not. He was so fucking angry at himself, at Madden, at the world… He was supposed to protect her, he said he would and then he gave the final punch. He failed her because of his insecurities.

“I’m sorry” He cried, but Ashton was having none of that.

“I’m not the one you should be apologizing for”

“She doesn’t want to-”

“Listen to me you shit” Ashton hissed into the phone “I don’t care what you think she wants. She is destroying herself over the fact that the last person she thought would hurt her left her because he chose to believe the lies of the media over his own girlfriend”

Luke’s heart broke all over again “She’s what?”

“Oh my god, how dense are you, dude? Now you decide to ignore the gossip?! She’s been going out all night, drinking herself to death and refusing help from any of us. She is slowly killing herself by killing her soul” He sounded worried, scared even, as he muttered the last words “We are losing her”

“Wh-what can I do?” Luke asked helplessly. Not being able to bear the thought of Y/N being gone.

“We booked you a flight. Figure it out and don’t make us regret it”

“Forgetting the lyrics again? Y/N L/N surely knows how to displease an audience”

“Y/N L/N MISSES YET ANOTHER INTERVIEW AFTER PAPARAZZI CAUGHT HER AT A PARTY THE NIGHT BEFORE”

“What is going on with YN?”

He arrived late to the hotel, having his flight delayed for a few hours, and the boys were already waiting for him in the lobby. Luke took a deep breath as he spotted them from afar, they were talking among them, concerned looks covering their expressions as they looked through their phone.

Luke walked up to them, mustering enough courage to say “Hi,”

The three men turned towards the blonde, Calum quickly walking up to him and punching him in the face, caught Luke by surprise as he backed up holding his nose and looking at Calum with widened, surprised eyes.

“That’s for hurting my best friend, you asshole!” He said, making the other guests look in their direction.

Luke hissed as he made sure he wasn’t bleeding “Thank you. I deserved that” He said, blinking twice “But to be honest I was expecting Ashton to deliver the blow”

“Calum won at rock, paper, scissors” Ashton shrugged “But that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. We still need to have a serious talk and I might punch you there”

Luke nodded, understanding that he did not only fail Y/N, but he also failed them. He promised them that he would take care of their best friend and they believed him. They even helped them get together and served as trust advisers for Luke about what it means to date a celebrity and yet he ignored every single one of them.

He might never get their trust back, but now they needed to focus on other things more important than that.

“Where is she?” He asked.

“Out,” Michael answered “The girls went with her. We don’t want her to be alone when she’s drunk”

They started walking towards the door, getting into the car that would take them to Y/N and the rest of the girls. “Do you know what you will say to her when you see her?” Calum asked.

“No,” Luke answered honestly “I guess I’ll know then”

“And you better not fuck it up again, Hemmings, or I swear it’s going to be the last thing you do”

The dance floor was crowded. People were dancing one against the other as the beats of the songs reverberated all over their bodies and started the flame of having just one night of fun. Among them it was Y/N, dancing in the corner with her friends and ignoring their concerned eyes as she moved freely thanks to the alcohol that was cursing through her veins. She knew she had to wake up soon, but she just wanted to keep living this dream every night instead of facing the nightmares that would come in the morning.

She missed how easy everything was before that night when the nightmare started. When she couldn’t find Luke in the crowd of their concert nor their bedroom late at night. Now she doesn’t even want to go to sleep, knowing that she won’t find him there ever again, all because she asked him to leave.

But he wanted to leave, even before she asked him he was already getting his stuff to leave her “cheating ass”, writing words that describe their relationship as toxic. Is that what it was? Were they toxic or just scared? She couldn’t tell the difference anymore, not after spending night after night trying to erase those words out of her mind, but they were already scared forever in her skin. She promised herself she would carry them as a battle wound, as proof that no matter what you do, you could never win when the whole world seems against you even when you have done nothing wrong… Unlike now.

She knew what she was doing, she knew she was disappointing a lot of people. She was disappointed in herself, too, but she couldn’t stop. The world was finally telling truths about her and it felt nice to at least have that. They denied her the truths for so long, feeding everyone lies that they would believe without hesitation or her explanation, just like Luke did, and now she was finally acting like people supposed she had. Now, at least she had control over that.

She wondered if Luke ever thinks about her. If he’s forgiven her for whatever he thinks she’s done or if he continues to read the articles and rejoice in the fact that he was right, even when he wasn’t, he was right. Maybe he’d be proud?

“Darling, are you alright?” She heard Bethany shout over the music. All the girls were looking at her. She didn’t realize she stopped dancing.

However, she just nodded “I’m going to get more drinks!” She said, faking a smile even though the girls could tell that she was crying. But she was so far out she couldn’t even feel the tears that rolled down her cheek.

Y/N gripped the marble countertop of the bar, trying to hold herself steady. She was thinking again, she didn’t want to think anymore. She ordered two shots of tequila and drowned them down before asking for two more. But before she could drown the fourth one, someone snatches the drink out of her hand.

“Heeey” She slurred “Don’t get between me and my- oh, hello!” She smiled happily at the stranger who took her drink from her “You look a lot like my ex-boyfriend”

Luke’s eyes widened at the word. She has never called him her boyfriend in front of people before. He glanced behind her and saw Michael, Ashton, and Calum already standing next to their girls, nodding encouragingly at him.

“Ex-boyfriend?” He asked, eyes meeting hers and noticing the glimmer of tears in them. But she kept on smiling and nodding before she started to pout.

“But shhhhh,” She said, laying her head on the counter, almost like she wanted to take a nap “It’s a secret. No one knows we’re together… or were together. They will never leave him alone if they find out”

“Who?”

Y/N looked to the sides, almost as if making sure no one was listening before she leaned into him and whispered “The media,” Then she started to giggle “If they found out I have a boyfriend then they will want to know everything about him! And poor Luke wouldn’t be able to handle that, he shouldn’t go through that”

Luke’s heart broke at the sight of the drunk girl sighing in the bar, holding her empty shot glass and sniffing every other word to stop the tears from falling.

“He doesn’t deserve that, the hate. He’s a good guy, a little shy and awkward, but he’s nice. But the media is cruel and a liar, and I don’t want him to feel baaaaad. How stupid it is that because I love someone they should get hated on, right? Hahaha, I just wanted to protect hiiiim, cause I love him sooo so much. I even protected him from my friends! You know?! I never told them what he did to me in case they wanted to keep their friendship going, Luke is a very shy guy and he loved them very muchhh, I couldn't take that from him"

“Even if he hurt you?” Luke’s words were careful and filled with pain. When the boys told him that she was getting drunk each night he never imagined her this far gone. He never imagined her this sad.

Y/N shook his head “I deserved to get, hic, hurt” She said between hiccups “He said I was a cheating whore monster liar, b-b-but I don’t blame himmmm. I’m sad but at least he doesn’t have to deal with me anymore and this BULLSHIT” She yelled, throwing her hands up to the sky. But then she started crying, sobbing as she tumbled backward before Luke caught her.

Luke was trying to contain his own tears as she sobbed into his embrace “I just want to tell him that I’m sorry I couldn’t protect him from myself” She cried “I wanted to be happy with him but we are both sad and toxic for each other. That’s what he said in his poem. I-I-I just w-want him to be ha-happy”

Luke cried as he held her, burying his face into her hair as both of their bodies trembled. Even when she had every right to hate him, she still wants to protect him. Something he should’ve done.

“I’m so sorry, my love” He cried, making Y/N look at him with worried, tearful eyes.

“Oh, don’t cry, stranger,” She said as she cupped his face and wiped his tears “I’m sad but you should be happy!”

“Why?”

“C-cause you’re not me”

Luke stared into her eyes, she was smiling while the tears kept falling. Even at her lowest, she tried to be strong for everyone around her, even the stranger she thought he was. He pressed his lips on a thin line and nodded, hugging her tighter as if he was trying to hold on to the last piece of her that didn’t show coldness to him before she remembers everything in the morning. At least he would hold her one more time.

Y/N didn’t understand much of what was happening but she returned the hug with the same energy, letting the stranger cry into her shoulder as she rubbed his back with her fingertips, wondering what Luke was doing right now. She decided that she didn’t want to know.

“I want to sleep,” She said after a minute of holding the man.

Luke pulled away from her, wiping his tears as he nodded “Then let’s get you to bed, my love”

She shook his head, pulling on his hand as he tried to walk them out of the club “But Luke won’t be there when I wake up”

All the wind was knocked out of his lungs, did she want him there? “I’ll be there,” He said.

“What?”

“He’ll be there. I promise”

Luke gave one last look at the group. They were all staring at him with worried and hopeful eyes, actually surprised that this didn’t end badly just yet. Luke nodded at them and pulled Y/N with him, the rest of the guys followed him into the car as they made their way back to the hotel.

Y/N slept all the way back, her head was placed in Luke’s shoulder as the blond kept staring at her, silent tears still dying on his cheek. The guilt was eating him alive; it was painful to see her this way, but at the same time he knew that she was at peace as she slept, letting the world fade for at least a few minutes before reality came crashing down.

When they reached the hotel, Luke carried her back into her room. He sat her down on the bed and started to take off her shoes as she lazily rubbed the tiredness from her eyes, suddenly waking up for a moment.

“Luke?” She asked. Luke raised his head and was met with her eyes already locked with his, a glaze of new tears adorned her pupils as she whispered “Am I dreaming right now?”

“No,” He answered, voice as soft as hers as he got up and placed a kiss on the top of her head “No, you’re not, darling”

“Good. I always hate to wake up without you there” She said, looking over her shoulder to the empty side where Luke used to sleep.

They both stayed quiet for the rest of the night. Luke took off her silk shirt and leather pants and helped her put on one of the big shirts she’s used to sleeping in. He wiped the makeup off her face and followed her nighttime routine without missing a step. When she was done, she curled up to her side and quickly fell into a deep slumber.

Luke stared at the girl, his heart aching for her as he saw how fragile she looked while she slept. He thought about all the things she said that night, how he never considered her side of the story before. How he just assumed that she was hiding him because she didn’t want people to find out she was taken when in reality she didn’t want people to hurt him the way they hurt her. The way he hurt her.

Tears started to pick up in his eyes again. He hated to cry but there was nothing else he could do at the moment. Everything became too much too fast and he didn’t know if he could fix it. So all he could do was cry for the girl he loves and the girl he lost, not knowing if she would ever come back to him.

“I’m sorry” He whispered in a quiet sob, getting into bed with her and holding her close “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry, my love” He kept murmuring into her hair until sleep claimed him as well.

The next morning Y/N wakes up in her hotel bed but she doesn’t know how she got there. She looks to her side but the bed is empty, yet she finds an aspirin and a bottle of water in her nightstand. She wonders who was the poor soul that had to go with her last night to make sure she doesn't end up drunk in a ditch, at least they succeeded.

Then she hears water running up in the bathroom and her heart sinks. Did she bring someone here last night? No, she wouldn’t do that. But she was very drunk… Oh my god, what did she do?

Luke could hear her shuffling in the bed as he brushed his teeth. “It is now or never,” He thought, but he didn’t know what he would find behind the door. She didn’t know him yesterday, but today was another story and Luke’s heart shrank at the thought of Y/N hating him for coming back, even if it was to apologize to her. He was terrified, but he was tired of running away.

As soon as he opened the door he was met with Y/N’s surprised gaze. The girl was quick to cover herself up, cheeks tinted red at the sight of her ex-boyfriend in her hotel room. She didn’t miss the flash of hurt that ran through his face when she did that.

“Luke…” She said in one breath, suddenly feeling self-conscious by his presence “What are you- Did we-?”

“No,” He answered quickly, stepping closer to the bed “No, we didn’t. You were drunk and I- You know I would never do that to you”

“I thought we didn’t know each other…”

Her words lingered in the air between them, creating a tension that could be cut with a knife. How fast did they become strangers when they used to know every single cardinal point of their bodies, every breath they took and what they meant, every sigh, every look… Now they were just two people in a room with so much to say but with no words coming out of either of their mouths.

Luke noticed how her eyes changed. While they were no longer filled with tears, they now laid emotionless in front of him, dull and empty as she stared at him.

“I did this to her,” He thought “I took the light of her eyes. It’s my fault”

She cleared her throat, breaking the silence as she spoke “Well, thank you for bringing me here last night. You can go now” She said, tearing her eyes away from him as she sat on her edge of the bed.

Luke stood still “No,”

“I’m asking you to leave” Y/N clarified, her voice growing stronger but still a bit sore.

“And I’m telling you I’m not going” He responded, taking tentative steps towards her “Something I should’ve done all those weeks ago”

He was standing in front of her in a matter of seconds; he crouched to meet her eyes but she quickly turned her face away “Y/N, please” He begged, his hand coming to rest on her cheek as his knuckles caressed her skin while the other one was placed on top of her hands, both intertwined with each other on top of her thighs “You could look at me yesterday, please don’t deny me at least that. Let me see you, my love”

But Y/N didn’t move, her face stayed turned to the side with her hair covering most of it. She couldn’t look at him, she just couldn’t. It was too hard, too painful. Luke sighed.

“Okay, it’s okay. You don’t have to, but at least listen to me, yeah? I just- I need you to listen, Y/N, please” He pleaded, placing both hands on top of hers “Y/N, I love you”

The knot in his throat became tighter as he noticed how the veins of her neck tensed and she started to grip her hands tighter. But she needed to hear this, and even though it hurt to see her like that, he continued.

“I love you. I love you. I love you” He said, voice breaking at the end, impossible to fight that choking feeling in his throat “I loved you since the moment I saw you. You were all dressed up in Calum‘s clothes and you had a pen in your hair, and I thought you were the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, but you were so nervous about trying to clean the coffee you spilled that you didn’t even notice I fell for you without knowing your name” He let out a tearful chuckle “I started to fall that day and I haven’t stopped, not even for a second. Y/N you are- You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I was an idiot for not seeing that. I don’t know what I have to do for you to forgive me, but I’ll do anything, my love. Anything to make it better. Cause I followed you blindly from the start, and I’m so sorry I let you down. I’m so, so fucking sorry that I let my insecurities come in our way. I love you, even then I never stopped loving you”

He could see how her chin started to tremble, she was trying to hold off the tears as much as him “I - I wish I could go back in time. I would’ve never said the things I said, I would’ve never doubted you or left without listening to what you had to say. I should’ve fought harder for you, but I was a coward. I still am, if I’m being honest, but I will not run away, Y/N. Not anymore. I know I will never deserve you, but I’ll do my best and try. Because you, my love, are the love of my life, the greatest love I have and - and I can’t -“

It became too much for him. He couldn’t say anything else without breaking down. But he wanted her to know how much she meant for him, how much he is willing to fight for her if she lets him. She needed to know how sorry he was and how much he still loves her. But the words got stuck in his throat. The poet was left speechless.

“Y/N you are so strong,” He finally said “So strong, my love. And I’m so fucking proud of everything you do, I always have and always will be” He brought her hands to his lips and started pressing kisses all over it while wetting them with his tears “I wish I could take back everything I said. All those words were said out of anger and jealousy, that is not how I see you at all. You are so beautiful, Y/N, inside and out. So kind, so smart, so giving… You are perfect. And I love you, I love you, I love yo-”

Suddenly his words were interrupted by her lips as she started kissing him. Y/N didn’t want to keep listening anymore so she did the only thing he could, the thing she wanted to do the most since she saw him come out of the bathroom.

Their hands flew to cup each other’s cheeks, keeping their faces as close as they could, feeling how their tears became one as they started to deepen the kiss. They rocked back and forward with the intensity of their energies colliding once again, it was everything they needed and more. Suddenly, Luke got up from the floor and brought Y/N along with her, pressing her against the wall as their lips never left each other.

“I love you” He breathed into her lips before kissing her again and again and again, already getting lost in the feeling of euphoria she brought to him “I love you”

She kept crying as their lips met, savoring every word, every praise that came from his mouth, trying hard to hold on to them as she felt her breath become short “I missed you” She cried into the kiss, pulling away to see his face.

Luke’s eyes were blown wide as he stared at her, their lips were pink as they tried to catch their breaths. He knocked his forehead against hers before kissing it lightly “Please, forgive me” He begged, holding her tight against his chest.

“Luke,” She whispered as she tugged on his shirt, making him look back at her “Kiss me”

He looked at her softly, his baby blue eyes saying more than he ever could as he caressed her cheek one more time before leaning down and trapping her lips with his. He had no rush because there was no other place he’d rather be, no other person he’d rather spend time with. Only her. Only his Y/N.

Her hands traveled tentatively under his shirt, softly caressing the skin of his back and his stomach as she parted her lips to grant him more access and control. Luke’s hand that was not cupping her cheek rounded around her waist, bringing her body closer to him with the need of feeling her, all of her.

“Y/N…” He groaned, tilting his head back when he felt her kiss along his jaw and neck.

“Please…” She murmured against his skin, sucking and kissing on the spot that she knew would make him shiver.

Luke pressed her against the wall with his body completely covering hers. He grabbed the back of her thighs and lifted her feet from the ground as she locked her legs around his waist. “Please,” She begged again, closing her lips around the shell of his ear and slightly biting into it. She could feel him getting hard as her hips moved forward, her core pressing against his hardening cock. She moaned softly into his ear “Please, Luke. Please”

The movement of her hips was all Luke needed to lose himself to her, thrusting right back at her and moaning at the friction of her soaked panties against his clothed erection. Her sound became more breathy and he knew she was getting close just by the friction alone, having spent too much time without this feeling.

“Y/N…” Luke groaned into her after a particularly hard trust “I-”

“I know” She breathed “I need it too,”

Without a second thought, Luke turned both of them around, still holding Y/N by the back of her thighs as he placed them back into the bed. Now it was his turn to kiss along her face, her lips, her neck… everywhere she would give him access to and would leave her breathing his name. His hands fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, taking it off completely in one swift move and occupying his hands by touching her breasts, massaging them softly as his lips closed against one of her nipples, tongue circling around the hard pebble until they were nice, erect and wet from his kiss only to do it again with the other one.

Y/N was a whimpering mess under him, her fingers tangling in his hair as he sucked on her sweet spot, kissing down her body until his lips found her wet panties. He kissed over her clothes bundle of nerves, making her moan and begged for more as he swiftly hooked his long fingers at either side of her hips and pulled them down, kissing along her thighs up and down and up again only to finish tongue deep into her hole, lapping at her arousal and moaning against her at the taste of her. He always found her exquisite.

Stars were playing behind her eyelids as she felt one finger inside her while Luke’s lips closed against her clit, sucking it lightly as he inserted another finger per her request, thrusting then inside and out as she chanted his name like a prayer when her walls clenched against them.

Luke licked her clean as her fingers played with his hair, relishing this intimate moment as a precious memory for the future. When he pushed himself up he noticed that there were a new set of tears rolling down her cheeks “Are you okay, love?” He asked, “Did I hurt you?”

She shook his head, looking up at him with teary eyes “I love you”

His eyes soften at her words, hands caressing the side of her face as he leaned in without thinking, kissing her tears away with such care, never wanting to see them again.

“Luke…” She whispered, kissing his chin “Luke, make love to me”

Blue eyes met Y/E/C, sharing all the love he had in them before leaning down again to trap her lips with his; tongues dancing together like it was the first time all over again where no other words were needed.

Y/N helped him out of his shirt and shorts, pumping his cock in her hands as he moaned in her ear how good it felt before lining it up with her entrance, quiet gasps leaving each other’s mouths as they felt the familiar stretch when he bottomed out.

Soft words and kisses were shared as Luke’s thrusts were slow and steady. It was silent, needy, passionate; it was everything they needed and more. Their hands explored the familiarity of their bodies, leaving faint marks as they enjoyed their shared pleasure.

“Please,” She begged against his lips, moaning as Luke started hitting her spot “Please, please, please, plea-”

Her orgasm came over her like a wave and Luke was entranced with her face as it contorted in extasis, helping him reach his climax as he cum inside her, painting her walls as his thrusts became sloppy.

They stayed like that for a while, kissing on top of each other as their bodies stayed connected in the most intimate way. But soon Luke had to get up, getting a wet cloth from the bathroom and cleaning her up, whispering sweet nothings to her as he did so.

He climbed into the bed next to her, pulling her closer against his chest as his back rested against the headboard, drawing circles in the soft spot of her back and resting his chin on the top of her head.

They must’ve fallen asleep after a while because when he opened his eyes again he felt Y/N crying into his chest.

“My love?” He asked, worry lacing his voice as he accommodated himself better so he could see her face. Y/N eyes were puffy and filled with tears as she struggled to contain a sob “What’s wrong?”

Y/N sniffed, voice breaking as she asked “You love me?”

Luke furrowed his eyebrows in confusion “What a stupid question,” He said as he started playing with your hair “Of course I love you”

“But what else?”

Her question confused him, even more, when he saw pure heartbreak spread along her face.

“What else what?”

“You love me and what else?” She repeated her question.

“What else is there?”

Luke’s answer made her lips tremble as a new set of tears filled her eyes. His heart fell to his stomach with her reaction, not knowing what he did to make her this upset “Baby, what’s wrong? Is love not enough?”

Y/N shook her head as she took a deep breath, trying to find enough voice and courage to say what she needed.

“I’m not perfect, Luke”

“I know,” He said, bringing his fingers to caress your cheek but you shook your head.

“No, you don’t know” She stated, tears rolling down her cheek “You still see me as something out of your reach, as something you don’t deserve because you hold me to such standards that is impossible for me to live up to your expectations. I will let you down, even without wanting to, I will. And- a-and I don’t think I’ll be able to stand that look in your eyes once I do. I can’t go through that again”

She cried softly for a while, trying to find the right words to say.

“Luke, I need you to listen to me very carefully and really think about what I’m asking for here, okay, love?” She said after collecting herself just enough. He nodded as he gave her his undivided attention “Luke, I love you. More than anyone in the world, I love you. I thought I would never say those words again but I can’t deny my feelings for you nor do I want to. I love you. But I also love my life”

Luke’s eyes were fixed on her as she spoke, nodding along to what she was saying. She took another deep breath before continuing.

“A life that is filled with concerts, traveling and recordings and parties and interviews… A life that I chose to follow my dreams and make them come true. A life I am not going to give up because it’s mine and I truly love it. But in this life, there are some bumps in the road. There will always be people trying to bring me down, sending hate to me and the ones I love, spreading rumors all around where sometimes you won’t be able to distinguish fiction from reality. With people trying to get to me, by flirting or abusing their power with threats. But I keep going, I deal with all of that because that’s just the way it is. I will go to an interview that might get twisted, I might go and get flirted on by a random stranger that works for publicity. I might have rumors of me dating people I haven’t even met! All of that without my consent or knowledge. But I agreed to this when I agreed to follow my dreams and I can’t help it when it happens and most of the time I can’t say anything about it even if it hurts.

And when that happens I need to know that you will trust me. Because I cannot possibly ask you to leave your dreams to follow mine, meaning that we won’t be together all the time like we’re used to. And I need to know that you will trust me when I’m away from you”

Luke stayed quiet, his mind running a thousand miles per hour at her words. Could he trust her? When they were together on tour, and even at home in L.A, the rumors about Y/N were strong, so much so that he didn’t know if they were true or not. And even though he knew her, he still wasn’t sure. He doubted her, more times than not he did which ended up in him losing her until last night. He trusted her now, but…

“I don’t know,” He answered honestly, feeling like the weight of his shoulders was being lifted as he spoke “I don’t trust my mind, not when it’s about you. Not really. I trust you here, right now but I can’t promise that my insecurities won’t get in the way, changing that for the future. But I can try, I’ll do my best-”

“What if your best is not enough, Luke?” She asked, sucking the air out of both of them.

“What?” He asked in return, voice small and soft.

She sighed, blinking through the tears “What if- What if it’s not enough? You love me, but you don’t trust me. I love you, but I’m scared you’re going to run away every time you hear something about me that could tint the image of me you have in your mind. I’m scared of that Y/N because I’m not her and I might never be able to compete with her. I wish I could tell you that everything will change for the better, that love will be enough. But if we can’t see a future now…”

“There might not be a future at all” Luke finished for her.

The truth hurt more than they could ever have imagined, but it was still the truth. Without trust, there is no love that could endure the passings of times, but they could try, couldn’t they?

“What now?” He asked after a moment of silence.

“Hold me?”

Luke opened his arms and Y/N nested into them, setting her head upon his chest and letting his heartbeat be the melody of her heartbreak. “I love you” She whispered into his skin.

“I love you, too”

“I might never stop loving you”

“You don’t have to”

She sighed “I know, that’s what scares me”

Luke nodded, even though she couldn't see him. He let his fingertips trace up and down her arms and back, serving as the only comfort he could give right now.

“Stay with me tonight?” She asked, tilting her head so she could look him in the eyes “Just one night the two of us where we can leave the world behind. Just us and for tonight that’s enough”

He smiled sadly “Morning will come eventually”

“And what will happen to us in the morning?”

Luke let out a sad sigh “I don’t know”

Tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @flaneurcth @notinthesameguey @bubblegum18 @irwin-fletcher-ash @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @1980holland @wiiildflowerrr @myloverboyash @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @the-ghost-of-ash @alltimesos @kingxnichole @givebuckyhisplumsnow @hufflehemm @wildflower98 @girl-toxxic

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tamagochiie · 3 years

Note

Hi!! Could I request a hc for my man Levi Ackerman where he has been crushing on the reader for a while now but thinks he doesn’t really have a chance because she’s just so beautiful, kind and a little on the younger side. And he doesn’t really think that someone like her could ever be interested in someone like him. Then those toughts only get bigger as he sees how much time she spends with Jean or Eren or someone. And then some sort of drama is happening which eventually leads to this dramatic confession from both Levi and the reader. Hope that’s not too long? Have a great day!

First of all, I am SO sorry this request took so long to reply to. I was in a really bad headspace when I first got this, and I couldn’t write it properly at the time. But here I am now! Also, I got waaaay too into this, so I apologize that it’s a little long...

Move My Mountain ; Levi Ackerman

Levi Ackerman is nothing short of confidence and pride; insecurity scurries back into the shadows at the sight of him.

But you are sunshine and hope—all the good things in life wrapped in a lilting laugh, tucked in the corners of your lips when you smile, and the twinkling in your eyes;

Just the sight of you makes his title as “Humanity’s Strongest” fray at the edges and wither away, and it irritates him to no end.

Of all the ugly his eyes have seen and horror his ears have heard, its you that has him weak in the knees, you are a sharp contrast to the stoic man.

You’re young, youthful, and promising—all the things Levi is not.

Levi is many things, but worthy to feel the warmth you radiate as you walk into any room, a room that he might find himself lingering around in, is not one of them.

Levi may be sharp, attentive, and quick on his feet (quite literally). But it takes him an embarrassingly substantial amount of time to realize his feelings for you—that no, he does not hate you, but rather he finds himself completely smitten over you.

He realizes he always has been since the first time he saw you as a cadet. You weren’t entirely talented, and your skills were questionably underdeveloped, but you had heart and you were just as determined and fiery as your counterparts.

Levi looks forward to seeing you persevere during trainings; but he likes it better whenever you waltz into his office and assist him in paperwork he can clearly take care of on his own.

And you find yourself feeling comfortable around the Captain, entertaining him through small talk or sharing a few fun facts with him that always leave him dumbfounded.

Not that he’ll show it.

He’s quite kind to you, and though you found it off-putting at first, you had eventually grown comfortable to it. You even found yourself growing selfish, wanting more and more after each visit.

However, unbeknownst to everyone save for Erwin and Hange, Levi Ackerman is petty as he is incredibly violent.

There’s a twinge of jealousy in his chest and a twitch in his eye whenever he sees Jean joined to you by the hip. He’s aware of the history you two share, being childhood friends and choosing to join the Survey Corp together after the attack on Wall Rose.

But it doesn’t stop jealous seeping out of Levi like a waterfall.

He hates it when he catches Jean ghosting around you, dipping down to you a little too close for comfort whenever he talks to you, so Levi’s patience snaps like a twig and he crinkles his nose in disgust, steam rising from him when he watches Jean throwing his arm over your shoulders, pulling you close to his chest while you laugh at his jokes.

A line has been crossed.

Unfortunately for Jean, though his actions meant no harm, he’s drowned in piles and piles of work within the following week. Levi has him carrying extra weight, makes him run more laps to his knees shake, and riddles him with questionable work from dusk til dawn.

And just when things die down and the tide of Levi’s jealousy pulls back, it’ll come rushing back in when he catches Jean do another thing like leaning his head on your shoulder after a day’s worth of training. And it begins to bother you, picking at your skin until you can longer keep quiet and watch your friends suffer.

You’re in the middle of handing Jean your bottle of water (because Sasha chugged all of his in one breath) when Levi cuts in. Maybe it’s the heat of the sun that casts over the training ground, or maybe its the fact that once again, Levi’s jealous has once again gotten the best of him and he’s playing it off as frustration for the whole squad.

Whatever it is, there’s steam rising off as he glares at you and Jean.

Levi clears his throat, arms folded across his chest as he taps his foot, “If you have time to drinking other people’s water, Kristien,” Jean chokes on his water when he realizes Levi’s presence, quickly saluting him, “then you’ve got time to do laundry.”

Jean’s eyes widen, jaw slacking. “B-But I already did that yesterday, S-Sir.” You watch as Levi pulls his brows down, narrowing his gaze intensely as he strides up to Jean. He shifts uncomfortable under Levi’s inspecting eyes and clears his throat to try and gain some composure.

“That’s the great thing about laundry,” Levi grits, “it always piles up, so why don’t you hurry the fuck up and fuck off.”

However, Levi’s plan to wedge you to apart because you offer yourself to help.

You may be bubbly and full of life, and some may mistake your soft nature as someone naive and gullible, but you read the room easier than anyone. For the first time, Levi finds himself silenced; throat dried as if sawdust had been shoved into his throat, and he watches you saluting to him before excusing yourself along with Jean.

Unluckily for you, you become the target of his boiling rage. He’s ticking like a clock, the countdown to another outburst lingering in the air. It’s your turn to be buried in the extra weight of chores and responsibilities, doing more laps and push ups than you can manage. But you never complain, not even once.

Not until Levi strips you and Jean from the opportunity to go out on an expedition and traded off for laundry.

“I’ve had it!” You boom as you uncharacteristically lose composure, shoving the basket of dirty laundry to the side and causing Jean and Armin to flinch. “I’m gonna do laundry—laundry instead of joining the expedition? You’re kidding!”

Levi had overworked you painfully til your knees shook and your head felt dizzy, and at some point you wondered if was still training you or if it had any ulterior motive.

“I’m only the barer of the news!” Armin defends, visibly shrinking as you slowly grow unhinged.

“Then I’ll talk to him!” Jean steps in front of you, looking at you warningly as his chest heaves. “Jean, go away.”

“No,” He’s firm, headset in stopping you. “Make no mistake, the man is short, but he’s scary as hell. You saw him when he beat the shit outta Eren.”

“I can take a punch,” You state dryly, “now move.”

You place your arm on Jean’s shoulder, gripping it tightly before swiftly shoving him to the side, causing him to skid on the floor.

Determination drips from every step you take out the room and down the corridor. Your eyes directed towards one door and one door only. You wind past other captains and cadets, not bothering to even take a glance at them as you finally close in on Levi’s office.

You storm in, not even thinking to knock. You’re met with wide eyes and looks of disbelief from Erwin, Hange, and Levi; they were in the middle of a meeting when you barged in. Erwin’s jaw slacks, his brows pull down as he looks at you quizzically, “Cadet—What are you—”

“You.” You seethes, breathing heavily as you glare at Levi. “Why am I assigned to do laundry instead of joining the expedition?”

Hange and Erwin turn back to Levi with an alarmed expression painted on their face, as if they were only hearing this for the first time. “Surely, that’s not true,” Erwin chuckles lightly as he grips his hands on the armrest of the chair, shifting uncomfortably underneath the thick tension between you and Levi, “Levi, is this true?”

“It might be.” He answers dryly, a bored expression in his dark eyes as he glares back at you, “But I’m sorry, am I supposed to be answering to you? Who the fuck do you think you are interrupting a meeting?”

“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Your new found confidence not only shocks them, but most importantly you.

You always kept yourself in your place, never needing to be reminded who you are and what you’re meant to do, always biting your tongue and cheek when you’re angry. You never caused any trouble, but always slyly getting your friends out of it.

That is, until now.

“Excuse me?” Levi looks at you in bewilderment.

“What the fuck does doing laundry have anything to do with saving humanity?” You repeated, balling your fists till your knuckles color white. “I’m one of the best and you know it, yet I’m wasting my time cleaning Reiner’s DIRTY UNDERWEAR EVERY DAY.”

“Bold of you to assume you’re one of the best.” Levi is cold as the first winter of the year, looking completely unfazed by flow of your emotions. But you are, indeed, one of the best, nearly surpassing Mikasa.

Not that he’d ever admit to it.

“Why am I staying behind?” You press, raising your voice as you take a few steps closer to the desk.

Unfortunately, Hange and Erwin stay in the crossfire of your argument. They’re unsure when to take the beat to get up and leave.

They worry they missed that opportunity a while ago.

“It’s dangerous and you’re not ready,” Levi clips.

“I’m ready and you’re just taking your anger out on me!” You counter, “You don’t think I haven’t noticed how you’ve been taking your anger out on Jean and now on me?”

“You made us work to the bone, but we persevered. We pulled through. So, if I can handle Reiner’s sweaty laundry, then I can handle saving humanity. Grow a pair and let me back in on the expedition.”

“No.” Levi is stern, the grip in his pen is tight and his knees locked in as his ability to stabilize his emotions withers.

“Why not?” You groan, throwing your head back. “Because it’s dangerous.” He states matter-of-factly, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“WHY DO YOU CARE IF ITS SO DANGEROUS?” You’re yelling, breaths labored and chest constricting as your frustration grows. You’re completely unhinged and with little to no care in the world how you look like to everyone in the room. Levi bangs his fists against the surface of his desk, swiftly standing from his chair. Erwin and Hange flinch at his sudden aggression, exchanging looks of surprise.

“BECAUSE IF SOMETHING WERE TO HAPPEN TO YOU, I WOULDN’T KNOW WHAT I WOUDL DO.”

Silence falls on the room and after a moment, everyone stands on their toes as they reflect the confession that slips Levi’s lips just moments ago.

You, Hange, and Erwin look at Levi wish a slack jaw and a puzzled expression.

“I don’t—“ You swallow thickly and take a deep breath, “I don’t understand what you mean… Why would you—”

“Hange,” Erwin calls out to his friend softly as he clasps his hands together, “I think this is the part where we leave.”

Hange pouts her lip begrudgingly, “But—“

“Now.” Against her will and her wishes for juicy gossip, Hange mirrors Erwin’s actions as he rises from the chair and a hunched position and swiftly scurries out the room.

You and Levi stand in a thick blanket of silence. Levi is a man of many words, though most are painted in aggressive and backs up his violent tendencies, so he admits his worries about someone and that someone being you, it means everything.

It comes as a shock—a shock that feels electric and runs down your spine, you feel like you’ll lose your breath. “Why…why would you care?” You come down from your anger and the thumping of your heart calms down. “I don’t—I really don’t understand….”

Levi licks his lips as he loosens his grip; for the first time you can see him clearly without having to second guess it. He shudders a breath as takes a step back from his desk, the chair scrapping against the floor as he abandons the paperwork and slowly yet surely walks to you.

You grow tense and the budding anticipation in your stomach spreads through your body and up your throat. It’s only until Levi is a few steps away that you finally tear your eyes from him, dancing around the room desperately looking anywhere but him.

Levi halts his movement, only within an arm’s reach away from you. “I’m not good with words,” He admits in a mutter, more to himself than to you, “but I—I would like to be honest because you make me want to be honest.”

Levi’s gaze wavers along with the rest of him; his arms fall limp , his hands clammy as he twiddles his fingers to ease the fear hammering in his chest. “I have…” Levi speaks softly, a sharp contrast to how he usually his. His voice comes out dry and gravelly as if he had just woken up.

“I can easily read others as if I was looking at the back of my hand, and I know when people feel things…But it took me forever to understand what I felt for you and when I finally caught up with it, I didn’t—I don’t know.”

Hesitantly, as if you were scared to see something contradicting his words, you meet his eyes and you gasp. He’s looking right at you, eyes full of certainty yet wavering in his doubt that he’ll ever get a chance with you.

“What do you mean?” Your words come out so quiet, Levi almost misses it. “What don’t you understand?”

“Out of all the things I’ve seen and heard, and all the blood my hands have been stained in, you move me.”

He steps a little closer and you find yourself holding your breath, “You move me.”

You don’t know what to say. You scan through your memories, all the ones that you had with him and try to remember what you felt. And maybe you did feel something for him, something more than just cadet and captain, but you never let yourself think too far from it.

You were scared to let yourself fall, but for some odd reason, Humanity’s Strongest was letting him fall on his knees for you.

You can’t help but smile and your eyes glistening as you take the final step to close the proximity between the two of you. “

If you’re saying what I think you’re saying then,” You sigh as you close your eyes, your breath fanning against Levi’s cheeks, “don’t be shy to move a little more and show me what you mean.”

Levi’s takes a moment, studying the look in your eyes as he calculates his movements. He feels excited, but fear pulls the rug beneath his feet and all of a sudden he finds himself more scared of you than any mission he’s even been in.

You hold his face in your hands, smiling at him. “Don’t tell me you’re shy now.”

And just like that, your words egg him on and have him pushing all his doubt behind him.

Levi’s lips are soft against yours, the kiss is gentle yet eager to go deeper. He’s reluctant to cage you in his arms, but when he feels you smile against his lips and how your arms wind around his neck, he realizes he’s eases in.

Levi Ackerman has seen all the uglies in the word, and had his heartbroken one too many times to count, but you are the only one that moves him.

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stargazer-balladeer · 4 years

Note

Hiya! Could I please request an angsty doc for Diluc from Genshin Impact? Maybe the reader is his best friend and secretly loves him but he doesn’t know? The reader develops hanahaki (the flower illness? I dunno if I spelled it right) disease and gets progressively closer to dying until Diluc finds them collapsed, surrounded by blood and flower petals, and he panics and holds the reader, confessing his love for them somewhere in his panic which cures them of the illness? Thank you!!

Daffodils [Genshin Impact]

[ Diluc Ragnvindr x Gender Neutral! Reader ]

{Hanahaki Disease}

Notes: making this an angst instead of fluffy is quite tempting- I hope I did justice to your request 😔✊im sorry if you don’t like this ;w; Hope you’ll still enjoy it tho! (If you want a redo, please request again-)

(I tried using the flowers in the game but.. their useless 😐. Cecilia looks like Lilies flowers but their meaning is basically soulmates- i decided to use daffodils in this one-)

Warning: Mentions of blood and negative things.

Word Count: 1297

Diluc narrows his eyes at the running figure that he calls his friend. Why were they running away from him? Did he smell bad? Diluc’s brows furrowed as he shakes his head. That’s not it. They’ve been acting weird for quite a while now. At first, Diluc shrugged it off. But as days go by, weeks, Diluc started to notice their strange behavior.

Recently, they look sick. Their skin lost color and their face always seem pale. Thick bags appeared beneath their eyes. And they always cough. For some reason, [Y/N] also seem to be avoiding him, and only him. They are still talking to everyone in Mondstadt, all except him. Did he do something wrong? Then what is it?

Diluc wanted to confront them about it. His patience is wearing thin. He sighed as he tries to think of a new plan to do to capture- no, convince them to talk. Tomorrow, I’ll get the answer I want..

——

How did you get in this position again? [Y/N] sweatdropped as their eyes were on the ground. Ah yes. Diluc fucking ambushed me— “I don’t know what you’re playing at, but I’m getting my answers now.” Diluc said harshly, but there’s concern underlying it. [Y/N] knew that he’s just worried about them but they don’t want him to know. Especially their feelings towards their pyro-user friend.

Don’t make him guilty— Don’t say anything— It’s better this way—

“I.. don’t know what you’re talking about.” [Y/N] mumbled numbly. Diluc clicked his tongue as his hold in their hands tightened. [Y/N] winced a bit, but they knew that Diluc wouldn’t hurt them. It’s just the way he is. Even though he puts up a stoic, cold front, his a baby in the inside.

That’s what made [Y/N] fall in love with him..

But, they knew that their love will never be requited—

[Y/N]’s eyes widened when they felt something familiar rising in their throat. No! They screamed in their mind. Not now!

Diluc noticed their panic and raised a brow. “What’s wrong?” [Y/N] kept their mouth shut, afraid that they’ll start coughing if they spoke. The concern in his eyed became apparent now as he slowly lets go of their hands. “Talk to me, [Y/N].. we’re friends, aren’t we?”

[Y/N]’s eyes prickle when they heard the friend word. That’s all they will be. Friends. Their hands cup their mouth. The vile inside their mouth is rising even more, scratching their throat, wanting to be let out.

Diluc’s hand move to touch their cheek but [Y/N] move. Hurt. That was on Diluc’s face. Unable to look at him anymore, their legs started sprinting. They could hear Diluc calling for them.

They ran as fast as they could until they arrived at a forest in Springvale. They couldn’t breathe, literally couldn’t breathe. They cough, trying to get whatever in their throat out. It was painful. They wanted it to stop.

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the thing stuck on their throat finally came out. [Y/N] retracted their hand, only for their eyes to widen in fright. There in their palm was full of blood, along with the blood-stained petals of the flower Daffodils.

How ironic. [Y/N] knew exactly what they mean as tears started falling in their eyes.

Diluc is the only one for them..

——

Diluc has been feeling uneasy ever since this morning. He doesn’t know why but something tells him that he should check up on [Y/N]. Its been a week since he last saw them. Ever since then, they just.. disappeared. Diluc only grew worried about them when his mind would wander to that day.

He could clearly remember the pain in their eyes, clearly seeking for help to him. However he didn’t do anything as he watch them ran from him. But now, more determined than ever, he will get the answers from them.

Diluc stood in front of their door in their house just outside of Mondstadt. His hand rise to knock, but he hesitated. What if they don’t want to see him? What would he do? Diluc shakes his head. Now’s not the time to think of that.

He slowly knock on the wooden door. No answer. He knocks again, this time calling out. “It’s me. Open the door.” No answer again. His brows furrowed as he tried to listen if there was someone inside the house. But only silence greeted him. He pursued his lips, now concern than ever. He tried opening the door but it was locked.

He cursed as he tried to find any alternative way to get inside. His eyes landed on a nearby tree that lead to their bedroom window. His mind was contemplating on whether or not he should do it. But in the end, his worrisome self got the best of him.

Diluc climb up the tree slowly and carefully. Once he reached their window, he tried peeking in but the sunlight was not making it easy for him. “Stupid sun..” Diluc mumbled as he got closer to the window.

What Diluc saw froze him, not literally mind you. His eyes widened at the sight of [Y/N] laying on the ground with pool of blood surrounding them and daffodils. His mind is still racing when he screamed their name while jumping to the window, effectively breaking it.

Glass shards scratch his face, but he didn’t pay any mind. He quickly went to [Y/N]’s side. Tears pooling in his eyes as flashbacks of his father’s death flash before him. “No no no! [Y/N]! Wake up!”

Thankfully, [Y/N] opened their eyes, but Diluc can tell their struggling to keep their eyes open. He gave them a weak smile as he cradles their body in his, not minding that the blood and daffodils stick on his clothes. “D-Diluc..? What’re you..?” [Y/N] weakly mumbled as a series of cough interrupted them.

Diluc rubbed their back as he eyed the daffodils. Where has he seen this before? Why does it seem familiar? Then it finally click in his mind. Hanahaki Disease. This made Diluc’s heart stopped momentarily when realization hits him hard. You love someone you can’t have?

“Who is it?” Diluc asked while looking at the walls. “It’s.. no use.. you.. don’t need to know.” [Y/N] weakly responded. Diluc grits his teeth as his hold on [Y/N]’s shoulders tightened. “Tell me so that I know who I’ll kill.” [Y/N] lets out a strained laughter.

Knowing that [Y/N] wouldn’t speak, Diluc sighed as he pulled their body to his in a hug. “You know.. this’ll turn out differently if you would let me love you instead of that bastard.” [Y/N]’s eyes widened at his sudden confession. His arms tightened around them. “Maybe.. I would have given you the best life instead of suffering like this.”

Tears were trekking down Diluc’s cheeks. The mere thought of losing them from someone they love is unbearable to him. He doesn’t want to believe. He loves you too much. “I love you.. you idiot..”

[Y/N] lets out a laugh before starting to laugh. Their tears no longer filled with grief. Their heart was beating fast in their chest as they hug him tighter. They could feel themselves healing. The thorns in their throat now disappeared.

Diluc was confused on why they were laughing. Did he say something funny? But when they pull back from the embrace. His eyes widened, they look more healthy than they ever been. Their smile was bright as they press their forehead with his. “I love you too, Diluc.”

Ah.. so he was the reason why you have hanahaki disease? He doesn’t know whether to be grateful, sad, angry or— basically, he’s a mess. Even though his mind is a mess, it doesn’t stop him from pulling you into a kiss.

Finally.

[x] Main Page || [x] Mondstadt Page

#not one of my finest work ;w;#im sorry-#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact diluc #genshin impact diluc x reader #diluc #diluc x reader #diluc ragnvindr #diluc ragnvindr x reader #req ans❣️

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thermaflute · 4 years

Note

May you write a hc for Baku and/or todo with a black girlfriend

Thank you for your patience! Imma start rolling them out. Also included Sero on this one because the ask was similar!

Katsuki Bakugo

💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣💣

Your angry little sunflower.

You initially curved his ass so hard because he came at you sideways.

He had that “you definitely want me” attitude and you told his ass to kick rocks.

He was kind of used to people throwing themselves at him so being told to essentially fuck off sent him reeling.

He felt awful man, he really did like you but he didn't know how to say it without, well, being himself about it.

He approached you the next day and apologized. It was an odd one but you could tell that it was hard for him to even say it so it must have been sincere. You gave him a chance.

Months later, you’re living your best life with Katsuki.

His favorite activity was showing you off. He even went as far as to get you on a hero magazine cover with him.

There was quite a bit of controversy. People had some opinions about you, and he quickly assured you he has no regrets about loving you.

It’s not like he ain’t seen a black woman before but like you….you were something else.

He was quick to defend you online, and quickly let anyone who had anything even vaguely negative to say about you know that they weren’t worth the dirt you walk on.

He takes care of you man, and speaking of getting taken care of...

He’s definitely the type to spoil you, he wants to see you happy. Expect all kinds of luxury.

You basically accidentally become an Instagram model just because he flexes you too much (as if there’s such a thing).

He’s also the kind of guy to love matching clothes with you. Whether it’s the whole fit or just the colors, he’s the king of matching.

He’s just a sucker for you man, he got himself a baddie and he’s so happy about it 🥺

Shoto Todoroki

🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄🔥❄

Imma be honest, he’s probably gonna come off weird at first.

Well intentioned, just has no game to save his life.

Bakugo heard him describe you as a “beautiful chocolate queen” and he volunteered his services ASAP.

“You are gonna get PUNCHED saying that.”

“But she is :(“

Shoto swiped up on your story and said you looked “entrancing”.

Ain’t a soul has ever called you that and you FREAKED.

Bakugo was about to slap him over the head for that but you responded.

“Yeah you look good too Todoroki lmaooo”

“Good enough to date?”

“I meannnn, where are you trying to go?”

“Somewhere worth your time.”

Bakugo was proud of his handy work, the entrancing was still whack but he figured you were weird enough to let it slide.

You were very quickly his girl.

He was eager to learn all about you, but it sometimes came off a bit too forward. Lucky for him though, you never mind.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah Shou?”

"Someone told me you had black girl magic? I didn’t know you possessed magical capabilities. I’m not scared or anything, I would just like to see it myself.”

You were stuck between laughing and curling him up and awwwing from just how oblivious and precious he is.

You plant a small kiss on his forehead and watch him get flustered, “that’s the magic Shou, do you not like it?”

“I do I do, I just thought there’d be more-” he waves his hands around trying to find a way to explain himself.

You lean in for a longer kiss on his lips and feel him relax underneath you.

“Was that more magical.”

“Maybe….:

You laugh and actually fully explain what it is to him, he finds it absolutely endearing and uses it to describe everything you do.

He’s a quick learner overall and he quickly gets all the little differences and embraces them fully.

You never have to worry about your relationship with him man, you’re always worth the effort.

Give this man the patience and love he deserves and you’ll receive it back tenfold.

Hanta Sero

🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊🍊

Dude is a goofball.

He got uncle energy and you hate it but love it all at the same time.

He saw Denki talking to you while out on a run one day and you all shared a hilarious conversation.

The second you said your goodbye and continued your jog he was begging to find out your info.

He was whipped by you, you had your hair up in a poof and the sun was hitting your gloss just right. If he didn't know any better he would say you were an angel.

He found your Insta and was LIVING. You’re pretty, humble, and funny as hell. He HAS to talk to you.

Unlike the other two he had game from the get go, he immediately approached you the next day and asked you out.

Of course you said yes!

He is such a giver and so very patient and loving of things that usually confuse others.

He’s always there when you feel down, even if you don’t want to talk he’ll just hold you and tell you small jokes just to get you to smile.

He’s also the kind of boyfriend to just bother you and then go back to minding his business. Randomly poking you and eating your food just to see you get on him about it.

He thinks it’s cute, okay.

"What do you want!"

He quits poking you, grabs your popcorn, and just leaves the couch. "Nothing."

"My popcorn 🥺".

He will wait all day with you while you’re getting your hair done at your friends house, he even brings you and her some food back since it’s been awhile.

She’s taking photos for your page and he’s just complimenting you, telling you how good you look and how he wants some photos of you too.

Cue your ass looking awkward on a dining room chair with your hair just done. He doesn’t mind, he’s just glad his baby is happy. He sends the photos to everyone and Mina scolds him on not waiting until you were at least ready for the pic.

Speaking of hair, he got some texture himself so yall both sleep in bonnets.

He be losing his own so sometimes you get back to your apartment late and just see him curled up on the bed with your bonnet on.

You just about take it off his head because he couldn’t even steal one of your durags he had to take the bonnet with the really nice elastic band.

He’s lucky you love him.

🤡🧡🤡

#my hero academia #boku no hero academia #bakugo x reader #todoroki x reader #sero x reader #katsuki bakugou #shoto todoroki x reader #hanta sero #bnha x black reader #bnha x poc!reader #bnha x reader #bnha #bakugo headcanons #todoroki headcanons #sero headcanons #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons

1K notes · View notes

moonlit-han · 4 years

Text

bad squirrel ↠ han jisung

genre: bad boy!jisung au, enemies to lovers au, high school au; humor word count: 2.8k warnings: so fluffy, swearing, mildly suggestive | gender-neutral reader request: yes (thank you for such a clearly imagined and fun request, anon!)

✧ masterlist & tag list info in bio ✧

↠↞

You’d never understood why Han Jisung had to be so loud.

Wasn’t the “bad boy” of the school supposed to be the quiet, brooding type? Not that Jisung didn’t do his fair share of lurking in corners doing gods knew what, sneaking out of the school to mysteriously reappear hours later, and drinking from a flask in the middle of class…. But he was just so damn loud. All the time! And because Jisung was loud in class, you strongly disliked him. Sure, he did his work (sometimes, like when the sun rose in the west) and had friends—two, to be exact: Chan and Changbin—but other than that, he kept to himself, yet was somehow loud. Jisung also strutted around the school like he owned it, looking much like a disgruntled raven.

As you were in the same year, you were intimately familiar with all his less-than wonderful propensities, and had listened to more gossip about him than you’d care to admit. Granted, that was simply to hear anything about him. You had a strange fascination with Jisung that somehow existed in tandem with your dislike—you couldn’t understand it. And, you commonly thought about him at the most random times; this also meant that you ranted to your best friend, Seungmin, far too often.

Jisung sat in the corner of the cafeteria with Chan and Changbin, and scribbled. He was always scribbling in a notebook he kept in his back pocket, and you wanted to know what he was writing—probably something like emo poetry. And today was no different. Occasionally, he’d look up and stare into the middle distance.

“Do you ever wonder what goes on inside his head?” you asked as you chewed a mouthful of your lunch. Seungmin saw where your gaze rested and rolled his eyes.

“No. Definitely not.”

“But would it be cool to—”

“Again, no,” Seungmin interrupted before you could careen off onto one of your tangents about the merits of this person or that. Except, this person featured all too commonly in those tangents, and Seungmin was tired of hearing it. “I don’t want to hear about the exact wave pattern in Han Jisung’s hair or how long you think he’d had that leather jacket. And I definitely don’t want to hear your thoughts on his skinny jeans.”

You smirked, turning back to the table in front of you on which you’d neatly arranged your lunch: grapes, almonds, a container of rice, and a mix of vegetables and fish. You hadn’t necessarily been planning to rant about Jisung, but now that Seungmin mentioned it…

“What do you think he does when he’s not in school?” you mused, chasing a bit of cabbage around the bottom of your lunch container with your chopsticks. “I mean, he seems to just exist in his own little world—I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with anyone except Minho and Chan, and even then, not that often.”

“I don’t know, Y/N,” Seungmin yawned, resting his chin on his hand. “Probably goes off to some corner and broods. That’s what guys like him do: brood and very obviously not talk about how emotionally distraught they are or whatever. But in a Byronic way—I don’t think Jisung has a violent bone in his body.”

You wiggled your eyebrows at your best friend, who was steadily losing patience with the whole conversation. “I can think of one bone that might be quite . . . angry and maybe violent but probably just hard. Good with forceful th—”

“I DO NOT WANT TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT HAN JISUNG’S DICK, Y/N!” Seungmgin burst out, drawing stares from the other students seated at neighboring tables, including Jisung himself. You made to bang your head on the table, more embarrassed than you’d been in a long time.

Seungmin, meanwhile, couldn’t stop laughing. “Y-Y/N, oh my god, I’m sorry. Hey, don’t hit me!” This was because you had started playfully but insistently punching his thigh. “It’s fine,” Seungmin continued, trying to reassure you. “It’s not like I said anything that would— Oh shit, he’s coming over here.”

You tried to slide under the table, but only succeeded in getting yourself stuck before shimmying back into your seat. You looked up just in time to see Jisung slide into the seat opposite you and lean meaningfully on the table.

“So, Y/N,” he drawled, flashing a feline grin at you. “What exactly did I just hear?”

“I didn’t say anything, Han,” you retorted, nose aloofly in the air.

Jisung sighed. “Okay, okay, maybe you didn’t say anything, but Seungmin definitely did.” Seungmin spluttered and shook his head violently, really not wanting to be drawn into your squabble.

“So?” you said casually, still picking at your lunch. Meanwhile, your heart felt like it was going to beat right out of your chest. “So what if he said something?”

“Why would Seungmin say anything about me, though,” Jisung said. “It’s not like you two like me or anything.”

You just stared at Jisung. Why did he sound petulant? “No, we don’t. You didn’t hear anything, so go away!”

“Oh come on, Y/N,” Jisung wheedled. “I know you’re curious….”

“Han, what the hell?”

“Sorry, sorry!” Jisung protested, leaning back as his hands waved wildly.

“I—” you began, and gulped. “It’s just… You’re just this moody guy who walks around like he owns the place. And you wear tight skinny jeans that leave very little to the imagination. How could I not assume you at least think you have . . . um, yeah.”

“I can’t believe you just said that,” Seungmin moaned, and stuffed his fingers in his ears.

Jisung had leaned forward now and was staring at you intently. You looked away, even more embarrassed than before, and he sighed.

“Y/N, I’m not quite sure what to say, besides the fact that I like my tight pants.” He paused, then chuckled lightly and winked. “And that you clearly like my tight pants, too.”

You felt heat rise to your cheeks, and blurted. “Why are you even talking to us, Han?”

Jisung stopped as he rose from the table. “I was intrigued. Plus, you’re cute when you’re flustered.” Han winked, then turned and walked back to Chan and Changbin.

You just watched him go—casually appreciating the view—completely stunned. Had Han Jisung just said you were cute? Ugh?

“Y/N? Earth to Y/N!” Seungmin was shaking your shoulder. “Y/N, you might start drooling if you don’t watch out.”

Coming back to yourself, you hurriedly shut your mouth and demanded, “Did he just say I was cute?”

“How am I supposed to know? I had my fingers in my ears!” Seungmin exclaimed, throwing up his hands.

“Well, you are no help whatsoever,” you grumbled, and went back to eating your food.

Seungmin was silent for a moment, then said, “Do- Do you like him?”

You almost choked on your rice. “What?”

“Do you like him?” he repeated.

“The last time I checked, I definitely didn’t like Han Jisung. He annoys the hell out of me!”

Like the traitor he was, your best friend just made a ruminative noise and smiled down at his food.

↠↞

There was a park along the route you walked to and from school every day, and you liked to cut through to its other side as a short cut and to have some time in nature. Today, the leaves rustled loudly under your feet as you wove between the trees, distracting you sufficiently that you were completely wrapped up in your thoughts until your eye caught on a spot of black.

You stopped and squinted, brows furrowed ever so slightly. You couldn’t be sure, but that looked to be Han Jisung squatting under an oak at the edge of the park. Thinking the last thing you wanted was Jisung to see you spying—no, simply watching as you, too, strolled through the park—on him, you ducked behind a tree.

A few feet away from Jisung, assuming it was him, a squirrel sat on its haunches. It looked like he was talking to the squirrel, holding out his hand with a small pile of sunflower seeds resting in its center. As you watched, the squirrel, clearly used to this sort of thing, scurried forward and then away, its prize of seeds securely held in its mouth. This happened several times: the squirrel snatching a few seeds, stashing them around the other side of the tree, then coming back to retrieve more from Jisung’s hand. Strangest of all, you could have sworn you heard cooing along the lines of, “Aren’t you so good? Yes, you’re such a good little squirrel. Ooooh mhmm that tastes good, doesn’t it!”

Seeing the boy stand, you pulled your torso back behind the tree and peeked out as he walked away with a spring in his step. Yes, that was definitely Jisung.

Lost in your thoughts, you began to walk home. Feeding squirrels and talking to them was not “bad boy” behavior—of that much you were certain. So, did this mean that Jisung wasn’t as bad as you’d thought? Or was he slowly killing the squirrel by lacing the seeds with poison?

You shook your head, scolding yourself for such thoughts. But the fact remained: Han Jisung fed the squirrels and acted distinctly cute around them, and seemed to drop the persona he cultivated at school.

In a nutshell: you were confused.

The next day, you walked home the same way and at the same time, hoping you’d catch Jisung with the squirrel again. As you neared the edge of the park, sure enough, there was Jisung. You wrestled with your conscience for a moment, then walked the last meters to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

“What?!” Jisung exclaimed, shooting to his feet and almost hitting you in the nose with the back of his head. “What are you doing here, Y/N?”

“I was walking home,” you said innocently, giving Jisung a bright smile.

The young man in front of you was shifting back and forth on his feet. “Did you see—“

“Did I see you talking to a squirrel?” You grinned now, crossing your arms. “Yes. Yes, I did, Han.” Jisung spluttered. “Not so bad a boy, are you?”

“Come on, Y/N, don’t be like that!” he begged. “Just because I wear all black, brood, and write emo poetry—“

“Hah! So you do write it!”

Jisung gave you a look. “Yes, I write poetry and song lyrics for my friends. What about it?”

“Oh, nothing,” you chirped.

“Can you-“ Jisung sighed. “Can you at least not tell anyone that I feed and talk to the squirrels? It’s, like, my own way of doing good, you know?”

“Sure, I won’t tell anybody. I’m just surprised, that’s all.”

“Well, the more you know…” Jisung said and, yet again, winked at you before striding away. You admired the stark contrast between his black clothes and the oranges, yellows, and reds of the leaves on the ground.

↠↞

A couple of weeks later at the end of October, your English class was lucky enough to go on a weekend camping trip to experience the misty atmosphere in Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Part of you thought that your teacher was a bit odd for wanting them all to get spooked by mist, but you couldn’t argue with the fact that the foliage was beautiful. After a long day of traipsing through the forest to find the perfect lookout point for the next morning’s mist viewing, the class gathered around a fire to eat and talk.

The fire was warm in front of you where you sat on a conveniently placed log; if you'd been any closer, you would have definitely singed something. You'd been a bit stupid and hadn't brought a proper jacket, thinking the evenings would still be warm at the end of October, but oh how wrong you were. Your nose was cold and your hands were even colder, a fact you tried to hide by sitting on your hands. Soon, however, your shoulders and back felt the slight breeze the rustled the leaves surrounding the clearing.

Across the fire, Jisung tracked your every move with bright eyes. In truth, he’d been watching you all evening and noticed that you were now cold. He noticed a lot about you these days, really. You didn’t see him quietly staring, his black clothes turning him nearly invisible, but you knew he was there on the other side of the flames.

You jumped a little, shoulders shrugging as warmth settled around them, and looked around. On the log next to you sat Jisung, like the piece of the night sky come to earth.

“Better?” he asked casually.

“Y-yeah.”

The two of you sat there silently as your classmates gossiped and ate around you. Occasionally, you saw someone glance your way, then turn back to their friends as if Jisung’s stare repelled them. You’d expected to feel awkward around him, expected to feel some dark aura radiating off him, but it was easy to sit with Jisung. His leather jacket was wonderfully warm, it’s weight around your shoulders oddly comforting, and the faint smell of whatever soap Jisung used caught on the collar made you smile.

“Here,” Jisung said softly, holding out the flask that always hung at his hip. “Have a sip—it’ll warm you up.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me! I’m not going to drink, especially since we’re on a school trip,” you hissed.

“It’s just tea, Y/N,” Jisung said, tone affronted. “What did you think I had in here?”

“I- Tea is fine. Thanks.” You took the proffered flask and sipped what was perfectly brewed and sweetened black tea. The hot liquid sliding down your throat to your stomach was a delicious feeling. You returned the flask to Jisung, your fingers brushing as you did so.

The fire crackled, sparks flying up as sticks fell and broke apart. But these were not the only sparks that were flying around that fire. Between you and Jisung there seemed to be a thread of energy along which those other sparks danced, and, unexpectedly, you wanted to follow that thread to its end with the young man beside you.

Every now and then, you glanced at Jisung. And, every now and then, he glanced at you. After five tense minutes of this madness, you finally glanced at each other at the same time and smiled nervously.

“So,” Jisung began, “um…”

“Hmm?”

“May I say something?”

“I- Yeah, sure.”

Jisung took a deep breath, hands twisting in his lap. “Y/N, I have what’s got to be the biggest crush ever on you. And if you don’t return the feelings, it’s fine. Don’t worry about it. I’ll never mention it again and I’ll make sure to leave you alone or whatever you want,” he said in a rush.

You wrapped Jisung’s jacket closer around yourself and turned slightly on the log to face him. The firelight danced in his eyes, the look in them soft and searching. His lips were parted slightly, as if to say something.

“It’s okay, Jisung,” you murmured, realizing that this was the first time you’d called him ‘Jisung’, at least to his face. “I think— I think I like you, too.”

Jisung’s face lit like the sun that would rise hours later with the dawn, his smile glorious. “Really?” he asked excitedly.

“Mhmm, I do.”

“That’s great,” Jisung breathed, and made to shift closer to you but stopped himself. “Um, so what now?”

“Want to cuddle?” You hardly believed that you’d just said that, but with Jisung’s jacket around you and him sitting so close, you couldn’t help it.

Jisung laughed and held out his arms to you, and you scooted closer to him so that you leaned against his as his arms went around you. After a couple minutes of shifting positions, the two of you settled. You could practically feel Jisung smiling behind you as you rested your head against his shoulder. Like your own, his heartbeat was faster than usual from nerves and excitement, which made you feel quite proud. You’d actually made the cool, seemingly confident bad boy of the school nervous.

Thinking you’d mess with him a little, you turned your face up to his and kissed his jaw. Jisung nearly jumped, which would have deposited both of you squarely on the cold ground, and then looked at you.

“Are you sure?” he murmured.

“Won’t know until we try, right?” you replied.

Jisung needed no further prompting and brought his lips to yours, sending a current of warmth along that thread between you. You had to smile because, completely unexpectedly, you liked kissing Jisung. You liked it a lot and would be perfectly happy to continue kissing him all night long, if given the chance.

Drawing back from Jisung, you noticed your classmates staring at you and Jisung, and smirked back at them. Unlike you, they didn’t have a cute boy to kiss and cuddle with. They weren’t the chosen person for the Han Jisung.

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dfroza · 1 month

Text

Today’s reading from the ancient books of Proverbs and Psalms

for April 25 of 2024 with Proverbs 25 and Psalm 25, accompanied by Psalm 38 for the 38th day of Astronomical Spring and Psalm 116 for day 116 of the year (with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 1st revolution this year)

[Proverbs 25]

These words, too, are proverbs of King Solomon, words which Hezekiah, king of Judah, later told his scribes to record for posterity:

God’s glory is shown when He conceals things;

a king’s glory is shown in his ability to explore the facts of the matter.

As the heights of heaven and the depths of earth are beyond comprehension,

so are the hearts of kings.

Take away the impurities from the silver,

and a good smith can create something of value;

Take away the wicked from among the king’s advisors,

and his reign will be established with integrity.

Do not claim to be important in the presence of the king

or vie for a position within the company of great men.

Truly, it is far sweeter to have someone of influence say to you, “Come up here and join us,”

than to be ordered to some lower rank in front of a noble.

Just because you think you have seen something

doesn’t mean you should be quick to go to court,

For what will you do

when your neighbor disproves the charge and embarrasses you?

Instead, discuss the matter directly with your neighbor,

but in doing so, remember never to reveal another person’s secrets;

For if you do, someone who hears you could disgrace you,

and a bad reputation will cling to you ever afterward.

A well-spoken word at just the right moment

is like golden apples in settings of silver.

To an attentive ear, constructive criticism from a truly wise person

is like an earring or jewelry made of fine gold.

Like a cooling snow that breaks the heat of a harvest day,

so is the messenger who is faithful to those who sent him,

for he refreshes the soul of his masters.

Like clouds and wind that bring no rain,

so is one who boasts of gifts promised but never delivered.

Patience can soften up a leader,

and a tender tongue can break even bone.

When you find honey, remember to eat only what you need,

because if you eat in excess, you may be sick and lose all of it.

Don’t visit your neighbor too often,

or he will become tired of you and grow to hate you.

Like a maul and a sword and a sharp arrow all in one,

so is anyone who bears false witness against a neighbor.

Like a tooth that is rotten or a foot that is unsteady,

so is relying on a person who can’t be trusted in times of trouble.

Like a man who undresses in winter

or a woman who pours vinegar on a wound,

So is anyone who tries to sing happy songs

to a sorrowful heart.

If your enemy is hungry, give him something to eat;

if he is thirsty, give him something to drink,

For your kind treatment will be like heaping hot coals on his head,

it may cause a change in heart,

and the Eternal will repay you.

As surely as a north wind drives the rain before it,

a backbiting tongue brings angry looks.

It is better to dwell outside on the corner of your roof

than to live inside your house with a badgering wife.

Like cool water to a weary soul,

so is good news from a distant country.

Like a muddy spring or a polluted fountain,

so is a righteous person who gives in to the wicked.

Eating too much honey is not good for you,

nor is it good to seek one honor after another.

Like a conquered city with no walls,

so is a man who has no self-control.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 25 (The Voice)

A note from The Voice translation:

[Psalm 25]

A song of David.

ALWAYS I will lift up my soul to You, Eternal One,

BECAUSE You are my God and I put my trust in You.

Do not let me be humiliated.

Do not let my enemies celebrate at my expense.

CERTAINLY none of the people who rely on You will be shamed,

but those who are unfaithful, who intentionally deceive,

they are the ones who will be disgraced.

DEMONSTRATE Your ways, O Eternal One.

Teach me to understand so I can follow.

EASE me down the path of Your truth.

FEED me Your word

because You are the True God who has saved me.

I wait all day long, hoping, trusting in You.

GRACIOUS Eternal One, remember Your compassion; rekindle Your concern and love,

which have always been part of Your actions toward those who are Yours.

Do not HOLD against me the sins I committed when I was young;

instead, deal with me according to Your mercy and love.

Then Your goodness may be demonstrated in all the world, Eternal One.

IMMENSELY good and honorable is the Eternal;

that’s why He teaches sinners the way.

With JUSTICE, He directs the humble in all that is right,

and He shows them His way.

KIND and true are all the ways of the Eternal

to the people who keep His covenant and His words.

O LORD, the Eternal, bring glory to Your name,

and forgive my sins because they are beyond number.

MAY anyone who fears the Eternal

be shown the path he should choose.

His soul will NOT only live in goodness,

but his children will inherit the land.

ONLY those who stand in awe of the Eternal will have intimacy with Him,

and He will reveal His covenant to them.

PERPETUALLY my focus takes me to the Eternal

because He will set me free from the traps laid for me.

QUIETLY turn Your eyes to me and be compassionate toward me

because I am lonely and persecuted.

RAPIDLY my heart beats as troubles build on the horizon.

Come relieve me from these threats.

SEE my troubles and my misery,

and forgive all my sins.

TAKE notice of my enemies.

See how there are so many of them

who hate me and would seek my violent destruction.

Watch over my soul,

and let me face shame and defeat

UNASHAMED because You are my refuge.

May honor and strong character keep me safe.

VIGILANTLY I wait for You, hoping, trusting.

Save Israel from all its troubles,

O True God.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 25 (The Voice)

[Psalm 38]

A song of David for remembering.

O Eternal One, please do not scold me in Your anger;

though Your wrath is just, do not correct me in Your fury.

The arrows from Your bow have penetrated my flesh;

Your hand has come down hard on me.

Because Your anger has infected the depths of my being and stolen my health,

my flesh is ill.

My bones are no longer sound

because of all the sins I have committed.

My guilt has covered me; it’s more than I can handle;

this burden is too heavy for me to carry.

Now sores cover me—infected and putrid sores,

because of all the foolish things I have done.

I am bent down, cowering in fear, prostrate on the ground;

I spend the day in mourning, guilty tears stinging and burning my eyes.

My back aches. I’m full of fever;

my body is no longer whole, no longer well.

I am completely numb, totally spent, hopelessly crushed.

The agitation of my heart makes me groan.

O Lord, You know all my desires;

nothing escapes You; You hear my every moan.

My heart pounds against my chest; my vigor is completely drained;

my eyes were once bright, but now the brightness is all gone.

Even my friends and loved ones turn away when they see this marked man;

those closest to me are no longer close at all.

Those who want me dead lay traps upon my path;

those who desire my downfall threaten—my end is near—

they spend their days plotting against me.

Like one who is deaf, my ears do not hear.

Like one who is mute, my tongue cannot speak.

The truth is this: I am like one who cannot hear;

I cannot even protest against them.

Still I wait expectantly for You, O Eternal One—

knowing You will answer me in some way, O Lord, my True God.

I only asked, “When I stumble on the narrow path,

don’t let them boast or celebrate my failure.”

I am prepared for what may come; my time must be short;

my pain and suffering a constant companion.

I confess, “I have sinned,”

and I regret the wrong I have done.

My enemies are alive and well,

they are powerful and on the increase,

and for no reason, they hate me.

When I do good, my opponents reward me with evil;

though I pursue what is right, they stand against me.

Eternal One, do not leave me to their mercy;

my True God, don’t be far from me when they are near.

I need Your help now—not later.

O Lord, be my Rescuer.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 38 (The Voice)

A note from The Voice translation:

This is one of a group of psalms known in later tradition as the penitential psalms, namely, psalms that confess sins and express confidence in God’s mercy. In this psalm a serious illness threatens the life of the worshiper.

[Psalm 116]

I love the Eternal; for not only does He hear

my voice, my pleas for mercy,

But He leaned down when I was in trouble and brought His ear close to me.

So as long as I have breath, I will call on Him.

Once I was wound in the wrappings of death;

the terror of dying and the grave had a grip on me;

I could not get away, for I was entombed in distress and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the Eternal:

“O Eternal One—I am begging You—save me!”

The Eternal is full of grace and naturally just;

our God is compassionate and merciful.

And the Eternal watches over the naive.

Whenever I was knocked down, He reached down and saved me.

O my soul! Return and relax. Come to your true rest,

for the Eternal has showered you with His favor.

God, You alone rescued my soul from the grips of death,

my eyes from weeping,

and my feet from slipping.

I will come before the Eternal

as long as I journey in the land of the living.

I believed Your promise; therefore I spoke,

“I am in deep trouble.”

In my confusion I blurted out,

“All people are liars!”

How will I pay back the Eternal

for all His graciousness toward me?

I will raise the cup of deliverance

and call out the name of the Eternal.

I will fulfill the promises I made to Him

here as a witness to all His people.

Precious in the eyes of the Eternal

are the deaths of those who follow after Him.

O Eternal One, You know I am Your servant.

I am Your servant, a child of Your maidservant, devoted to You;

You have cut me loose from the chains of death that bind me.

And I come, eager to offer a sacrifice of gratitude

and call on the name of the Eternal.

I will fulfill the promises I made to Him

here as a witness to all His people

In the courts of the Eternal’s temple,

among the people of God’s city, O Jerusalem.

Praise the Eternal!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 116 (The Voice)

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sulphuryasecretcloset · 3 years

Text

The Return of Drunk!Corin

I wasn’t planning on this one-shot, but the art deity @cacodaemonia wished for it and considering how endlessly kind she is to grace us with her art, it seems like the least I could do! I hope Zev’s sufferings can bring a smile! ;)

It's late. Zev'sonya empties the final content of her glass into her mouth and gets it down with a big swallow before placing the glass on the table. Time to go to bed. Those stupid ex-Troopers, still giggling and drinking over by the other table, are going to be wrecks tomorrow and someone has to be able to defend this place if something should happen.

Okay, so Mose hasn't indulged in anything but food and water and Din is still somewhat sober, but Zev'sonya hasn't seen Raga or Paz in a while and suspect they might be stowed away somewhere private and getting equally as drunk as these aforementioned ex-Trooper idiots.

At the opposite side of the room, Leo says something that has them all howling with laughter. It is the signal for her to hurry out of there before his drunken attention swings her way. It's even more difficult to snap at him when he's all soft and vulnerable like he tends to get on nights like these.

Getting up on her feet and walking towards the door, Zev'sonya is so busy focusing on dodging Leo that she forgets about the other threat in the room.

All it takes is an accidental brush of her arm against him as she walks by and the contact makes him turn towards her, arms reaching out and wrapping themselves around her a Deneba plant, and Zev'sonya abruptly finds herself trapped and hugged by a very drunk Corin Valentis.

Grunting annoyed as she's squeezed front first to his chest, she then gives him a couple of awkward pats on his back. “Yes, yes, thank you. Very nice. I was just leaving.”

“We never get to talk.” Corin says, his lips by her ear and his voice sounds both sleepy and happy, which he tends to get on nights like these. “I mean, I talk to Mose a lot. Leave-it too. But you... you tend to avoid me.” Suddenly there is a touch of sadness to his words as he continues; “I think you're awesome, but you don't like me much, huh?”

Zev'sonya twitches, feeling trapped by both his arms and his words. She does like him. She just doesn't do... this very well. Any other random man holding her like this would have been curled up in pain on the floor by now, but she knows Corin isn't hugging her to cop a feel and he won't try anything creepy. He just gets extremely tactile when he drinks and means no harm. “I like you just fine, Corin. I don't do small talk, that's all.”

Corin hums, all happiness again, still holding her close. “Yeah. You're like Din. You two get along.”

Zev'sonya frowns a little and moves her hand up to touch the skin on his neck. “You're hot.”

“Thank you.” Corin chirps. “You too.”

“No, I mean,” she feels the heat radiating from him, even through some of his clothes, “do you have a fever? Are you sick?”

“No.” Corin sounds unfazed. “I'm fine. Din just says I run warm. Whatever that means.”

“Oh.” Zev'sonya stands there and waits for him to let go. He doesn't, just rocks her gently and hums happily. She sighs and pats his back again. “Okay, right, time for me to leave.”

“Nooo....” Corin tightens his grip on her. “Stay. We'll be best friends. I'll make you bracelet.”

Gritting her teeth and losing patience, Zev'sonya lets her hands drop to her sides. “I will stab you.”

“No, you won't.” Corin leans back and lets go, but before she can escape he cups her face between his hand and holds her still to stare into her eyes. She can feel her cheeks getting squished by his palms and her lips pursing a little under the pressure.

Corin tries to give her a solemn look that keeps getting interrupted by his drunken smile. “Do you know why?”

She tries to glare.

“Because you're really a nice person.” Corin gives a sage nod. “Yes, you are. Mm-hm.”

She tries to glare harder.

“I've seen all the good things that you do. Even when you think no one is watching.” Corin leans in and rests his forehead against hers. “I know you care. About us. A lot. A whole bunch of lot.”

Zev'sonya's face flares up with embarrassed heat. “Corin.”

“You like to act all angry because you're hurting.” Corin continues in a soft tone. “I've been there. I understand.”

To her horror, Zev'sonya has a moment where her eyes sting with the threat of possible tears but luckily that brings the anger back and she starts squirming. “It's no act, I am angry. Corin, you-”

“It's okay.” Corin croons, dragging her into a new hug and wrapping his arms tight around her.

“Corin!” Zev 'sonya snaps. “Will you-”

“Oh my...” A familiar voice says.

Zev'sonya manages to turn her head and sees Leo standing there, staring at them. She exhales with relief. Finally the stereotypical male jealousy can be useful! “Could you-”

“Don't. Move.” Leo orders, waving his hands to underline the importance of his words. “This is so cute. I gotta get a holo-cam! Stay right there!” He runs off and leaves her stunned with disbelief.

Two and a half second after that, she's snapped out of her surprised apathy by a loud slurping noise.

Turning her head, she sees Mose standing there. He's holding a large drinking container with one of those straws to drink from, and he is looking at her and Corin with a smug expression on his face.

“Mose.”

“Lorda.” He replies, taking another sip, staying where he is.

Zev'sonya gestures to Corin and raises her eyebrows in a mute order to remove him.

Mose slurps some more before he lowers the drink and sighs with fake remorse. “So... do you remember when he was clinging to me and I asked you for help?”

“Yeah?” Zev'sonya grits out, remembering how she'd merely laughed and savored the sight.

“Exactly.” Mose goes back to slurping and watching, with not the faintest intention of rescuing her.

“This isn't funny” Zev'sonya growls, not calmed by Corin stroking her back in a soothing manner.

Mose shrugs. “A little bit.”

Zev'sonya can think of at least eleven ways to get back at him but doesn't get to hiss them in alphabetical order as there is yet another voice speaking up.

“What's going on?”

Again, Zev'sonya is hit with relief and she turns, as much as Corin will let her while he hushes her softly and strokes her back, so she can send a meaningful look at the Mandalorian standing nearby. “Din.” She gestures to the human leech attached to her. “Would you mind?”

Din crosses his arms while his helmet tilts in an almost thoughtful manner. And when he speaks, there is no hiding the grin in his words. “What's in it for me?”

Betrayal on all sides! Zev'sonya cannot believe what she's hearing. “A not-stabbed boyfriend!”

Corin hushes her again, squeezing her tight for a moment to underline how much he cares, and she is seconds away from just screaming with frustration when there is the flash of light and she sees Leo standing there with a holo-cam scanning them.

“No.” Zev'sonya states with no room for debate. “Leo, I'm warning you...” She squirms again but Corin isn't only warm, he's freakishly strong too and she is reluctant to use force. “Leo, leave it!”

Din clears his throat and steps over to the blond idiot, who simply keeps scanning them with the holo-cam with drunken determination. “Listen, if you want to slide in there, I could take the picture?”

Zev'sonya bares her teeth in pure fury while Leo gasps with delight; “Would you?”

Din grabs the holo-cam while Leo runs over. Zev'sonya is planning a harsh kick to Leo's shin, but before she can deliver it; Corin grabs her and turns her a little and suddenly they are cheek to cheek, with Leo kneeling in front of them, arms spread, - A loud slurp confirms Mose's towering shape behind them - and everyone facing the Mandalorian about to immortalize the moment.

“Smile!” Din declares cheerfully, as the rays from the holo-cam begin to scan them.

“I'm stabbing all of you!” Zev'sonya snarls.

The image turns out hideous. Corin and Leo are flustered, messy haired and grinning like idiots. Mose is leaning in behind them all to be in the image, still holding that big drinking container and sucking on that straw. And Zev'sonya herself? Well, she looks... grumpy.

It probably the least flattering image of herself she's ever seen.

But if Zev'sonya ends up saving that image instead of just deleting it? Well, then that's her business, isn't it?

#the mandalorian his son and the storm trooper #Corin the storm trooper #Corin Valentis #din djarin #Zev'sonya #Leave-it aka Leo #Mose the Hutt #the one-shots start coming and they don't stop coming

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axwalker · 3 years

Text

If The World Was Ending: Even if he was wicked

Synopsis: When Bianca leaves her son without looking back, Drake has to live on the streets until he finds a home with Angelica Ortiz--Lexie’s grandmother and a foster mom. With the Ortiz, Drake finds a family and falls madly in love, until a tragic night changes everything, threatening the life Drake fought so hard to get.

To catch up (HERE)

Pairing: Drake Walker x Lexie O’Brien (MC) The Royal Romance.

A/N: This will be a very angsty, full of drama, small town romance.

Words: 4,120

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Pixelberry, except for Lexie’s grandmother and mother.

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Child neglect, abandonment, sexual assault, prison and a very entitled, “evil” Liam

Due to the several trigger warnings and some of the subjects I’ll be dealing with, I will only tag people who actively asked for it. If you want to be tagged in the following chapters --or untagged, please leave a comment.

Drake

2008

When I was 12 years old, my mother took off with my little sister leaving me in Cordonia with my father's best friend. I reminded her too much of my father, too much of a life she would do anything to forget. That "anything" included abandoning her oldest son. I'd like to say I was surprised, but the truth is I wasn't. Bianca Walker had never been a motherly woman. The only reason she had taken Savannah with her was that my Aunt Leona adored her. I was sure my mother would dump my little sister on her and never look back. I hoped that was the case, Leona despised me, but she was great to Savannah.

A short time after that, Bastien passed away and my mother was nowhere to be found. That's when I started to go from one home to another. The first year and a half were the hardest ones. I lived with four different families, each one worse than the last. First, the Lockes, where the family barely talked to me. Then, the Ruiz that made me take cold showers and sleep on the floor. The Godwins where the “mother” used the check the state gave her to buy alcohol instead of groceries. And finally the worse, the Fields. They seemed nice enough when I met them. Not kind but polite. The first few weeks everything seemed normal. Then one day, I got in trouble at school, and Mr. Fields --the pastor of his community, beat me up to “teach me some manners.” His punishments became a usual thing after that.

Eventually, I couldn’t take it anymore, so I escaped. Better to be on my own than believe some family was going to love or adopt me. Obviously, there was something very wrong with me. My own mother had left me, and I had never found my place anywhere else.

I lived on the streets for 6 months. I did all kinds of jobs. Not a lot of them were legal but there were few opportunities for a 14-year-old runaway kid. The most money I got was when I stole car parts that I got to resell to a gang called the Mercy Park Crew. The boss, Mr. Kaneko was fair and paid well enough. I could’ve kept living by myself if something hadn’t got terribly wrong at my last job. One of the boys from a rival gang decided to teach me a lesson and I ended up in the hospital with a concussion. A nurse called social services so here I am in a car with another social worker on the way for another foster home. It doesn’t matter, I know it won’t last anyway.

When you’ve been in the system as long as I had, you learned to look for certain warning signs when placed in a new home. Drugs, ulterior motives, threatening fathers, drinking mothers. After an hour, we drove through a town looking like something straight out of a movie. Valtoria. I’d heard of it before. The family my dad had been protecting when he died lived there. The house we pulled up to, was a large two-story construction with dark brown siding and an immaculate green lawn.

Joelle, my new caseworker had popped up out of nowhere in the hospital and told me I was coming with her. Just like that. From the way Joelle talked about the new place, I figured it was some sort of transitional home for rejects like me. Too old to get adopted and too troubled for anyone to voluntarily take on. I didn’t ask her anything else because I knew I didn’t have a fucking choice. Besides, I knew words don’t mean anything. I was a kid in the system. I went where they took me. Sometimes, I hated it. Sometimes, I really hated it. This time was different. In more ways than one. Usually, I was dropped off by my caseworker, and the people receiving me were about as excited as they were about junk mail. No one has ever come out to greet me before. As long as the woman at the door wasn’t sizing me up for a skin suit, it didn’t matter.

The social worker got out of the car as I grabbed the trash bag that I used to carry my shit around. She rang the bell, and a small, older woman opened the door. Joelle had told me in the car that the woman fostered several boys and I knew what that meant. She wanted the money the government gave her for keeping us. Well, I wasn’t going to make it easy for her. If she wanted to cash a check at the end of the month it was going to cost her. I’d make sure of it.

I had seen it all, but I still was caught by surprise when the tiny woman opened her arms at me and gave me a one-sided hug. A fucking hug.

“I’m very happy to meet you, mijo,” she said in a strong accent. “My name is Angelica Ortiz but everyone here calls me Abuela. Grandma in Spanish.”

The woman was deluded if she thought I’d call her grandma. She was obviously trying to impress the social worker with her fake kindness, hugs, and stupid names. I wasn’t going to be fooled that easily.

I didn’t even answer her as we stepped into the house. Another woman, a younger version of the one staring at me was waiting for us in the living room.

“Hi, you must be Drake. I’m Elena. Welcome.” She gave me a smile. Fake, I was sure but at least she hadn't tried to hug me. The older woman was talking to Joelle about me. Probably about my problems with authority, anger issues, and lack of communication skills. I knew my file by heart.

I barely nodded at Elena, and the three women exchanged a look. “Let me take you to your room, Drake. You’ll be sharing it with Maxwell. He’s doing his homework with my daughter in our house across the street. You’ll get to meet all the boys and my daughter Lexie tonight.”

She walked me to a room on the second floor of the house. It seemed clean and comfortable. Another ploy for the social worker. Two bunker beds with blue blankets and a wooden desk full of books were the biggest pieces of furniture. The left side of the room was covered in posters of who I figured were famous boy bands. There were a few of David Beckham, the only guy I recognized. Other than that there were clothes everywhere. That Maxwell dude was a fucking slob. Great.

“I told Max to take down some posters so you can decorate half of the room to your liking; This is your room as much as it is his. He's usually much more organized than this." I notice she speaks with a sort of fondness. "It was picture day for the school yearbook and he took hours getting ready. ”

I shrugged. I wasn’t planning to stay long anyway. I couldn’t care less if that Max kid left his posters on the walls or not.

She glanced at my garbage bag. “Are those your clothes, mijo?”

I scowled at her. I knew what mijo meant and I was nobody’s son. “My name is Drake.”

She smiled. “Of course, Drake. So, are they?”

I didn’t bother with an answer. A nod was enough.

“I cleared you this part of the closet, so you can keep them there. When you’re ready come downstairs; my mom and I will show you the rest of the house. The boys are out but we’ll all diner together tonight. Do you like Mexican food?”

I shrugged.

The woman smiled. “Shrugging is not an answer, mij- Drake. Either you like it, you don’t, or you haven’t tasted it in which case I can tell you, you’re missing out. Especially when mami cooks.” She winked at me as if we were friends or something. The woman was insane. “So, what is it, Drake?”

I’d never had it before, but she wasn’t going to tell me how to answer a damn question. “I hate it.”

She frowned --clearly disappointed, and I almost felt bad for her. Almost. “I’m very sorry to hear that. We already made Enchiladas for tonight and we don’t waste food. You can tell us your favorite dish though so we can make it for you.”

I shrugged again. Generally, that's when the person talking to me loses her patience but Elena Ortiz only smiled at me again. “Think about it. Every Sunday night, we pick someone’s favorite and cook it. It’s really fun. Next Sunday will be your first here, so you get to pick. Mami is a great cook and she can make anything from a mean chocolate cake to the best cheese pizza. See you downstairs, honey.”

Great. I’ve only been in this house for a few minutes, and I already hated it. The only thing worse than a home where you were beaten up as a welcome was a home where people pretended to care. My third foster home had been like that. Ms. Godwin had been all kind and nice at first. I almost felt like she cared about us. A week later, she had gotten drunk. For two days, neither I or the two girls she fostered had anything to eat because she hadn’t bought any groceries. I had to steal a twenty euro bill from her purse to buy food. She got angry and called the social worker who had come for me and taken me to the Fields. The worst home I ever lived in.

I wasn’t going to go downstairs but I decided that if I wanted a chance to escape it was better if I knew the house. Before I could explore a little, I heard my name from what I assumed was the kitchen.

Elena was crouching in front of the oven. “Drake has such sad eyes, mami. He’s only 14.”

The woman that had asked me to call her abuela, answered as she chopped an onion. “This boy has been living in the streets for more than a year. Do you realize it? Pobre angelito. So young and he has already seen more horrors than most people see in a lifetime.”

“Joelle told me that he had escaped from his last foster home.”

The older woman scoffed. “Home? If that’s how you call people that foster kids only for the money, they get in exchange. I don’t want to imagine why he fled those places." She turned to her daughter who had finished whatever she was doing in the oven and was drinking a bottle of water. "Stop watching me work, Elena and help me with diner, por Dios.”

Why was she pretending she didn’t care about the money? It was obvious. No one did anything for free. There was always a catch.

“Dónde está mi venadito?”

“Lexie and Max are at our house doing homework, mami. Be careful, though, if Lexie hears you calling her “your little deer” she’ll kill you. The boys called her Bambi for months after they heard you the last time.”

“Nonsense. She’s my venadito and that’s that. You two will come to eat here tonight. I want Drake to meet everyone.”

Elena rolled her eyes but patted her mom on the back. “Yes mami. Lexie is dying to meet him, she and Max made a chocolate cake for him. I’ll call her in a minute. Where are the boys by the way?”

“Bertie is trying to teach Leo how to drive. Poor boy, I hope he makes it alive.”

“Don’t worry. I’m sure Leo will be careful. Bertrand will be fine.”

“Oh, it’s not Bertie I’m worried about, it’s Leo. Bartie has no patience with him.”

I left the kitchen before they said anything else. I was sure I was going to hate this stupid place. I was angry. More than angry. Furious. After a year of successfully running away, I was back in the damn system. Back in yet another home where people seemed to care about me in front of the social worker just to ignore me –or worse, once she left. I had to admit that my new foster “moms” played their part better than most. The old one had hugged me and the other one had given me a smile that seemed real. But I knew better. No one really cared for me. No one gave a shit where I slept, what I ate, or if I was ill or scared. Not that I was ever scared. I had seen everything.

The front door was locked so I went to the backyard. I saw a small wooden house on top of one of the trees. I decided it was a good place to hide and be myself.

I sat there for a few moments when I heard someone climbing the tree.

“Hi!”

I looked up and saw a girl a couple of years younger than me. She had the biggest pair of brown eyes I’ve ever seen and was smiling at me as if I was her best friend.

“I’m Lexie! I live across the street. I’m Angelica’s granddaughter. You’re Drake, right?” I didn’t think it was possible to smile more but the girl proved me wrong when her grin widened. I simply nodded.

“Welcome! I know that it must be hard for you to feel at home because you like just arrived but you’ll love it here. I promise. Valtoria is great. We have lakes and the mountains and when it’s warm enough we can go camping all night. You’ll love the house too. I mean between you and me the boys are kind of a pain in the ass but they’re pretty great when they want to. Or when they're not teasing me. Especially Leo and Maxie. Bertrand is a know-it-all. He thinks because he’s sixteen he knows everything." She rolled her eyes clearly offended by the idea that someone could know more than her. "Abuela, that how we all call her because she’s Mexican and would murder us if we call her grandma, is amazing. I mean don’t get me wrong, she's super strict, and as my mom says the woman is never wrong but she’s the best person I know.”

I blinked. I didn’t know a person could talk that much without taking a single breath.

“Do you camp?” She asked as she folded her legs in front of her.

I did before. Before my dad died and my whole life blew up in a million pieces. Not that I would explain any of that to the chatty girl, so I just nodded again.

“Great! It’s getting warmer and Leo wants to go to a new camping site next weekend. Don’t tell him I said this but he’s like the worst camper ever. I have to double-check everything he does but I don’t tell him anymore because my mom said it wasn’t nice.”

I wondered how could someone carry a whole conversation by herself. I hadn’t pronounced a single word since the girl had shown up.

“I want to be your friend but I can see we’re about to have our first fight.” She told me in a teasing tone. “You’re wearing a Liverpool t-shirt. We worship Barcelona in this house. Well, Abuela, Leo and I do. The others couldn’t care less about soccer.”

I looked at the shirt she was wearing. It read "If they don't have soccer in heaven, I'm not going."

She noticed I was looking at her shirt and beamed. "Abue said my shirt was disrespectful to God but mom thought that was dumb and bought it for me anyway."

"Do you like soccer?" I finally asked.

“Like it? I love it! Did abuela saw your shirt? She hates European teams. She thinks Tigres is the best.”

“Tirgues?”

She laughed, and the sound of it did something weird to my stomach. “Tigres. It’s a Mexican team. She goes crazy when they play.”

“What team you like?”

“Barcelona, obviously.”

“Liverpool made it to the finals of the last Champion’s league.” I pointed out.

She shrugged. “They lost so it doesn’t count. Do you play?”

“Sometimes.” I tried not to show how much I loved it. It was something else my dad and I shared that had stopped when he died.

“I play too. How old are you?”

“Fourteen.”

“I'm twelve. Well, almost thirteen, my birthday is in May.”

I frowned. “It’s November.”

“I know. I’m almost there.” She beamed. "I'm almost closer to thirteen than twelve anyway."

“Do you always talk this much?”

She laughed and my belly did that weird thing again. “My mom says I was a parrot in another life. I talk more when I’m nervous.”

“You're nervous?” I liked that I could make her nervous but I didn't know why.

She blushed and I liked it too. “A little. What happened to your eye?”

“I got into a fight.”

“Wow. You can’t do that here. Leo is always getting into fights and abuela has to ground him.”

She sure mentioned that Leo guy a lot. “Is Leo your boyfriend?”

“Gross!! Leo’s is like my brother. He, Bertie, and Max live with abuela. We’re a family. You’re family too.”

Fuck that. No matter if the girl was sort of cute. I didn’t have a family. “No, I’m not. I’m not staying.”

“What? Why?”

“Because I don’t belong here.”

“Yes, you do; I swear. Plus, I need someone to coach me, so I can get into the school team next year. Leo promised he would, but he never has time.”

“I suck.”

She shook her head and smiled at me again. “Somehow I don’t think you do.” Then she gave me a conspiratorial look as she pulled out something from her jacket pocket. "You can't tell my mom about this but I took this from her room." It was a white iPod. After scrolling a little through the screen she settled on The Beach Boys. She couldn't possibly know it but they were my dad's favorites. She passed me an earbud and we didn’t talk after that. We just sat together for a while hearing music until we heard our names being called.

“That’s abuela. We should go. She hates to wait. Plus, I'm starving and we're having enchiladas. You'll love them.”

Lexie ran to her house to --as she put it-- 'hide the evidence.' I went back to her grandma's house and stepped into the kitchen.

“Drake, pass me the salt, mijo. It’s next to you on the counter,” Angelica said as she kept on turning the sauce she was making. “You like enchiladas?”

What was with all these women asking me what I liked to eat? I leaned against the black counter while she opened the lid of another steaming pot on the stove, and stirred its contents with a long wooden spoon. I shrugged. I didn’t know if I liked it. But it smelled better than anything I ever tasted, so it couldn’t be all that bad. My mouth started watering, and my stomach growled. Come to think of it, it had been a while since I’d last eaten.

“You know, I know you feel weird now. And you don’t like to talk a lot. Soon, you’ll learn that this is a safe place. We aren’t gonna judge a single word that comes out of your mouth or any of them that don’t.”

I suddenly felt like I owed her a verbal response in exchange for her kindness. Fake or not. Besides, I just knew the chatty girl I’ve just met wouldn’t be happy if I was rude to her grandmother. “Yes, ma’am.”

She smiled at my verbal response. “But just so you know. We do have a few rules in this house.”

Here it comes. The catch. Angelica put the lid back on the pot and leaned over the counter on her elbows. “You just need to go to school, find a hobby or sport you like, don't swear, respect the curfew and keep your room clean. Every child in this house has chores but it’s too soon to figure out yours. For now, you only have to get to know us.” Her eyes crinkled as she smiled at me. At that moment the timer of the oven rang and Angelica took a huge dish out of it. She covered it with more steamy, tomato sauce, sour cream, and grated cheese and put it back in the oven. At least, I might get some good food while I figured what I was going to do next. Because no matter how nice and kind everybody acted, I was not going back to school. I used to be good at it without much effort; I had friends and a soccer team. But I had missed a lot in the last two years. I felt dumb and stupid.

Suddenly, the front door slammed open. “Cuidado muchachos! Be careful with that door against the wall, or you’re going be spackling and repainting this entire house,” Angelica yelled out. Three teenage boys filed into the house, followed by just as many apologies.

“Sorry.” “Oops.” “It was Max’s fault.” “

“These are Maxwell, Leo and Bertie,” Angelica introduced. “Boys, this is Drake.”

“Hi, man!” The blond one said with a shit-eating grin. “Abuela, Lena, you guys didn’t tell me you were buying a Liverpool fan.”

“Adoption is not a purchase of people, Leo” the oldest one --Bertrand, corrected.

“Yeah, cause if it was, then you got Leo from the clearance rack,” the youngest one joked, checking his reflection in the hallway mirror, smoothing back an out-of-place dark hair. “I hope you kept your receipt.”

“Fuck, off,” the blond one replied with a middle finger.

“Watch it, Leo,” Angelica warned. “Boys.”

Max kissed her on the cheek. “Sorry, abue.” She forgave him with a smile, then swatted at his hand with her spoon when he dipped his finger into the pot.

“I’m glad you’re here, bro” Leo said. I stood, and he gave me a fist bump without touching my hand.

“Me too! And we’re going to be roomies,” the kid named Max said. He grabbed a stack of plates from the counter. I followed him over to the long dining room table and helped set the table for seven people.

2020

I lost count of how many days I’ve been in the hole. It wasn’t my first time in here and it sure as hell it wouldn’t be the last. It was always the same routine. Days and nights blended into one making it impossible to know what day it was or how much time I had been in here.

I have been in jail for six excrutiating years. I had known from the day I heard the sentencing that the only way I was going to survive was if I didn’t think about her. It was the hardest thing I had to do but after a while, my routine was running smoothly and when my head hit the pillow at night, I was too fucking exhausted. She haunted my dreams and my nightmares, but I didn’t think of her beyond that. Except for the hole. Locked up there, cold, hungry, and utterly alone her face, my memories of her were the only thing that helped me go on.

I replayed in my head our first encounter, our first kiss, our first time. I obsessed about her full lips, her expressive brown eyes, her gorgeous smile. I could spend hours picturing every single corner of her soft delicate curves. Sometimes, I wondered if --maybe, I didn’t start fights in the hope of being sent to the hole where I could spend my time fantasizing about her. It was pure torture, but I couldn’t help myself. The memories I had of her, of us and our short time together were the only light in my otherwise bleak life.

She still wrote me every week but I hadn’t open any single one of her letters. I didn’t want to know if she was moving on with her life or worst if she was waiting for me. Because that was what Lexie didn’t understand. Even if nothing happened and I was released in one year, I would never be that boy again. The Drake Walker she had known and loved was dead and she wasn’t going to like the man that had been left in his place. I was damn sure about that.

Tagging:

@mskaneko

@burnsoslow

@kingliam2019

@kat-tia801

@petiteboheme

@tinkie1973

@twinkle-320

@thegreentwin

@forallthatitsworth

@marshmallowsandfire

@marshmallowsaremyfavorite

@princessleac1

@lilacsandwhiskey

@lovingchoices14

@nomadics-stuff

#tw child neglect #tw child abandonment #tw children #tw child labor #axwalker writes #drake walker #drake walker fanfic #drake x mc #drake x lexie #trr fanfic #trr au fanfic

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davidsons89 · 3 years

Text

Toxic Turner - part 14

WARNINGS: this story contains signs of a toxic and manipulative relationship. also contains smut, mentions of drugs and alcohol. some scenes contain forms of abuse. read at ur own risk :)

alex drove around for a little longer before he parked up behind a tall building. “we’re going to the cinema?” you asked, looking up at the familiar building. “no. better” he said, smiling at you as he exits the car then helps you out. “bowling?” you ask in excitement, your eyes glowing at his. he grins and nods at your cuteness. you’re always overly excited about the little things, you’re too adorable.

the two of you walk in together and head over to the desk. “you go get us a drink, i’ll meet you over there in a sec” he says, patting your back to guide you over to the bar side as he waits in line for the bowling. “ok” you say and take the money from his hand to get the drinks with. he smiles as he watches you walk away.

you approached the bar and waited for the bartender to take your order. there are a few people in front of you, so you lean on the bar and patiently wait. “y/n?” you hear a familiar voice from behind you say. you turn around and spot an old friend from school. you thought nothing of it at first, but your friend is a guy. and alex doesn’t do too well with guys.

“oh my god. hi!” you widen your eyes and immediately open your arms to hug him. he hugs you back, and tighter. “jesus.. i haven’t seen you for what, 5 years now?” he chuckles as you both pull away to chat. “feels longer” you chuckle. “how you been?” he asks. “i’ve been great, i-” you begin to conversate until the bartender butts in to take your order. “oh i’ll have two margaritas please” you say. she nods and begins prepping your drinks.

“two?” your friend questions with a giggle. “yeah. i’m here with alex. you remember him?” you smile. “you’re still with him?” he asks in shock. “yeah. i could never get bored of that pretty face” you giggle and begin to chat away as you wait for your drinks.

“i remember meeting him for the first time. boy, did he hate me” your friend jokes and you chuckle at him. “he doesn’t hate you, he just has a fierce resting bitch face” you shrug. alex most likely did hate him, he holds grudges over the most minor things.

“you look so different. your hair, your face” he says while pinching your cheeks. you laugh as you feel a wave of worry in you. you felt alex approaching, you didn’t even need to look or hear. you felt him.

“hey love. you get the drinks?” he asks with an extremely forced grin on his face. you slowly push your friend’s hands away from your face and nod. “good. hey y/f/n, how are you?” alex sarcastically asks. you know him well enough to know he’s forcing kindness.

“you remember me? didn’t think you would considering how many people she knows” your friend ruffles his hand on your hair. you awkwardly giggle at his action. he wasn’t flirting, but alex thinks a simple smile is flirting. alex fakes a laugh as he goes along with it, you can see right through him. you see how annoyed he is internally.

“yeah she’s got lots of friends doesn’t she?” alex turns to look at you. he glares at you, giving you the signal to stop talking to him and walk away. an awkward silence came upon you all, alex coughed to get your attention. “right well. we best get going” alex says and smiles, grabbing the drinks from the bar. “it was nice seeing you, y/f/n” alex says in a very sarcastic matter as the two of you walk away from him.

“sorry..” you nervously say as the two of you sit at a single table to wait for a free bowling lane. “why you sorry, sweetheart?” he asks, taking a sip of his freshly made margarita. “i didn’t mean to talk to him.. he came up to me and-” you begin to blurt out but he shushes you. “shh.. it’s ok. drink up” he says and smiles, tilting his glass forward a little to ‘cheers’ your glass. you smile and raise yours, lightly touching glasses. you both begin drinking the alcohol while deeply looking into each other’s eyes.

“should you really be drinking when you’ve gotta drive us home?” you giggle, placing your glass on the table. “one won’t hurt” he shrugs, also placing his down. you look at each other once again. “you look stunning. even when you don’t try.” he smiles at you, staring at every inch of your face. “thanks but, i look a mess” you giggle, looking down at yourself. you’re both still wearing the same clothes from yesterday, and it stinks of booze. you just look like a pair of trashy alcoholics. but who cares?

“and i still love you when you’re a mess. my messy little princess” he giggles as he leans his hand over to your head to ruffle your hair. you’re just surprised at how he isn’t angry, he usually gets abusive when another guy speaks to you, especially when they touch you. he’d always take his anger out on you, but he’s unusually calm. you just let it slide past your head without a second thought.

you giggle as he messes up your hair. not that it was neat in the first place. “how long do we have to wait?” you ask as you desperately want to bowl. “she said there’s a lane free in about 30 minutes” alex says. you groan. “don’t stress. i know a way to kill time” he smirks, but you don’t quite get it. “how? playing in the arcade?” you gasp in excitement. “no. even better” he raises his eyebrow. you finally catch on.

“ohhhh.. really? naughty” you whisper with a sly smirk on your face. “the naughtier the better” he whispers as the two of you stand up and make your way to the public toilets. “where are we g-” you begin to ask, but stop speaking as alex drags you into the men’s room. “jesus christ” you giggle as you both walk over to the stalls. he smirks and takes a big gulp from his margarita, finishing the drink. you take the hint and finish yours too. you both leave the empty glasses near the sinks before alex shoved you into a stall.

you grab him by the collar of his shirt and pull him in, pushing him against the door to shut it. he takes you by your waist, and twists you around so that he’s pinning you against the door now. the bathroom is completely silent. the only sound heard is the echoing of your kissing. he grabs your wrists, lifting them up to pin them against the door above your head. “ow” you wince and look up at your wrist. the burn from earlier.

“sorry about that.” he whispers guiltily, carefully pulling your wrist toward his mouth to kiss the wound. you smile and look into his eyes. “i’ll wipe that smile off your face in no time.” he quietly giggles with a smirk as he gently pins your wrist back against the door to continue making out with you.

“what do you exactly plan on doing in here?” you breathily whisper in between kisses. “what do you want me to do?” he asks, moving his hand to your face to caress your cheek with his thumb. “not fuck me” you nervously giggle. not that you didn’t want sex, but in a public restroom made you nervous.

“then that’s exactly what i’m gonna do. because i don’t listen to you” he slyly grinned as he grabbed you by the waist to twist you around so that your chest is against the door. “what if someone hears?” you whisper with your cheek against the coldness of the stall door. “babe, relax. we aren’t the first ones nor will we be the last” he whispers, kissing your cheek to reassure you that you’re fine. you’re just scared about someone hearing or walking in...

“i know but we haven’t really-” you continue to speak, slightly ruining the moment between you both. “y/n. shut it” he demands, grabbing your face to get a good look at you. “but-” you start. “be fucking quiet” he whispers, starting to lose his patience with you. his fingers grip a little tighter on your cheeks, causing pain. he roughly lets go of your face, causing it to fall and lean against the door. you feel him slide his hands to the top of your jumpsuit to take it off. unfortunately you’re wearing a one piece, meaning you’ll have to be fully naked in a cold, empty public space...

“alex i don’t-” you whisper nervously but alex completely shuts you up. “if you say one more word i’ll make sure everyone hears you” he quietly threatens. you frown and look away from him as he pulls your jumpsuit down from your shoulders, causing it to fall from your waist and down to your feet.

he pulls his pants down ever so slightly to position himself behind you. when he’s ready, he grips your waist with one hand, and places the other on your lower back to push himself in. you let out a deep exhale from your nose as he slowly slides into you.

each time he slides in and out of you, you feel yourself getting wetter as he gets faster. a breathy but quiet moan escapes your lips, but it still loud enough to echo around the restroom. “fuck” you whisper and shut your eyes as you lightly rest your forehead against the door.

“that feel good?” he whispers with a smug smirk on his face. you ignore him, which he doesn’t like. he moves his hand from your back and slides his fingers into the back of your hair. he grips it and pulls it back, forcing your head up. “i said does it feel good?” he darkly whispers in your ear as his face is so close to yours. you nod and whimper at the same time, implying that it hurts. “still sore from yesterday huh?” he proudly smirks knowing he hurt you. you nod. “good. it’s what you get for talking to other guys” he whispers, kissing your cheek before letting go of your hair to let you rest your head against the door again.

you knew it wouldn’t be long before he made an unnecessary comment about your friend, whom you talked to for five minutes. how stupid are you to think he’d let something like that slide so easily, huh?

he manages to push himself in deeper to hear you whimper. they’re his favorite sounds. “ow.. it hurts” you whisper and groan as you try to take the pain by biting your bottom lip. “good. don’t be such a slut, then maybe i won’t hurt you” he smirks. “alex i’m not- being a slut. he’s just an old friend” you sniffle, your voice breaking as if you were going to cry.

“you don’t have any friends. i’m the only one you need” he whispers in a cocky way. “but-” you begin to say until you felt his hand slide around your shoulder and grip your mouth tightly. “am i clear?” he cuts you off, hearing you struggle to breathe beneath his hand. you nod and continue to whimper weakly.

“good girl” he whispers, not taking his hand away from your mouth. watching you struggle under his power turned him on more. you had a weird feeling in your gut, your gut instincts are mostly always right. you felt panic as you hear the door to the restroom open. you widen your eyes and turn back to look at alex who was dying to laugh. he slowly pulled out of you with his hand still around your mouth to keep you quiet. you tried your best to stay as silent as possible.

alex felt naughty, he wanted to do something to spice it up a little. still from behind, he slowly drags his two fingers down your lower back to in between your legs. you look over your shoulder and shake your head at him to tell him to stop, but do you really think he’d listen to you?

he gives you a smug look before using his hand around your mouth to pull your face away from looking at him. his grip is so tight, you can almost feel your mouth area going numb underneath his strong hand.

his two fingers wedge their way to your entrance, where he slowly pushes them in. he smirks as he feels and sees you edge your body forward away from him, but it only made him pull you back, causing his fingers to quickly go deeper. you quietly gasp, luckily his hand muffled it, making it appear silent. you both wait patiently for the man in the restroom to be done with his business and head out. your thoughts are racing, you’re praying he doesn’t hear you.

alex curls his fingers inside you on purpose, he loves watching how weak you get when you can’t physically do anything. your hands softly press against the door to keep your balance. your legs are like jelly, you don’t know how much longer you can stand for.

two painful minutes slowly went by. you felt like you were waiting for wet paint to dry, until the man finally left. you heard footsteps exiting the restroom, and the heavy door closing behind him. it was like a weight was lifted from your chest. you deeply exhale as alex slowly removes his hand from your mouth, but instead holds your chin up.

“don’t do that” you whine and reach your hand back to grab his wrist, trying to pull his fingers out of you. “ah ah.. no” he shakes his head, forcing your chin up even more with a grip. “i don’t w-” you whisper but cut yourself off with a moan louder than last time as he pushes his fingers in even deeper. “move your hand” he whispers through gritted teeth in your ear. you feel intimidated, so you slowly pull your hand away to press it back up against the door again.

“you’ll take it, won’t you?” he whispers arrogantly, gripping your chin tighter and tighter each time he spoke, which affected the way you spoke. “but-” you begin but alex roughly pulled your face to the side to look at you, he can feel your skin getting red under his solid grip.

“don’t disobey me. take it” he whispers in an angry forcing matter, staring into your eyes to intimidate you. he then pushed your face back to where it was so you weren’t looking at him, you got the hint. a breathy moan slips from your parted lip as his fingers pleased you greatly. his grip on your chin loosens to slide down to your neck, where he grabbed and held it tightly to hear you struggle again. he loves being in charge.

you didn’t even realize it, but he actually added a third finger. you didn’t even react. “look at you, getting used to my fingers now huh?” he smirks in a praising voice which gave you butterflies. “uhuh” you shakily whisper and nod your head. his hand on your throat caused you to struggle to speak and breathe properly. he’s too strong.

because you didn’t react to the third finger, he clearly wants to give you more. you feel him slowly stretching you as he slides a fourth finger in. “ow.. jesus christ” you wince and instinctively move your hand back, grabbing his hand but you didn’t try to pull it away. you liked it. you held your hand above his and felt his fingers going in and out of you. you quietly moan at the painful but oh so pleasing feeling.

“i’m proud of you, taking it like a good girl” he praises in your ear as he kisses your cheek. you breathily giggle and close your eyes to take in the feeling. this 30 minutes felt like the longest minutes you’ve ever experienced. how are you even going to go bowling after this? you’ll be hurting, and definitely embarrassed...

the more you moaned, the more painful it got. he was just a finger away from fisting you and you genuinely couldn’t take it anymore. he knows you’re too weak to continue. he slowly pulls his four fingers out and you felt a sense of relief down there. “fuck” you breathily whisper as you turn to look at him. he stared you dead in the eyes with a smirk, you knew he was thinking of something.

“come here” he smirks, putting his hand on the back of your neck to pull you closer to him. you stumble, but manage to keep your balance. he raised his other hand to your mouth, the hand that was inside you. “open” he whispers, gazing at your parched lips.

you gulp and do as he says. you always had to listen to him, he’d only force you if you refused anyway. he slips only two of his fingers into your mouth, tilting your head back with his hand behind your neck. “you’re such a good girl aren’t you” he praises once again to make you feel better. he practically shoves his fingers to the back of your throat, causing you to gag. and of course, he loves it.

he smirks at the innocent glow in your eyes as he slowly pulled his fingers out after you sucked on them. he wiped his hand in his jeans and carefully helped you put your jumpsuit back on. you both grabbed your things and snuck out of the restroom together. nobody suspected a thing, you’re too good at this.

as you made your way back to the table, alex wraps his arms around your waist. “you’re so beautiful, y/n” he whispers before kissing your cheek. you adoringly smile as you smell the cologne on him, that smell will forever remind you of him. the love of your life.

you get back to the table and sit down opposite each other, beginning to chat as you wait a little more for your bowling lane. mid-conversation, your friend from earlier sees you again and waves. you hesitatingly waved back with an awkward smile on your face, turning to look at alex to see an intimidating look on his face. you immediately stopped smiling.

“oh, and if i see you talking to him again, i’ll take you back in there and show you real pain” he sternly says while discreetly pointing to your friend from afar, then pointing to the direction of the restrooms where you just were. you gulp as the seriousness in his voice startles you, you know when he’s not joking around. he never jokes around.

“got it?” he raises an eyebrow but you look away. it’s not like he’s gonna hurt you in an open public place, right? you ignore him. he moves his head to try to get you to look at him, but you move it again. you never win. he discreetly grabs your wrist and twists the skin where your burn is. you jump and look at him, trying to quickly pulling your hand away but he doesn’t let go.

he looks at your wrist and sees a previous scar from when he burnt you with a cigarette. “you see that?” he asks, tightening his grip to make you look at it. “yeah?” you ask nervously. “i’ll give you more if i see you even look at him. ok?” he quietly makes himself clear. you nod and slowly manage to yank your hand from his. you wait a little longer, until your lane was finally ready. time to go bowling! 🎳

#toxic turner

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