THIS

Emotional maturity (which depends on how our developmental needs were met in our forming days and the example we got from our caregivers) has nothing to do with our age: we can understand we don't feel emotional mature and start working on it at any age.

Our emotionally immature self You may realize you feel discomfort when expressing emotions, tend to neglect them or label them as unimportant; you feel highly defensive; you have an hard time tolerating others' opinions and blame them when things go wrong; you tend to shut down or lash out in conflicts or even avoid them completely (people pleasing); you may lack communication skills and openness about problems; you try to over explain yourself in fear of being misunderstood; you generally react as passive aggressive... you basically have an hard time sitting with your emotions and trying to understand them and regulate them.

Our emotionally mature self Listen to others' opinions even if you don't agree or don't understand them (you don't have to agree with someone to tolerate their point of views, we are all different); recognize when you get triggered by something or someone (we act more immature when we're triggered, as we experience a regression to our trauma) so to take a step back: you don't answer/make decisions until you've calmed down; remember empathy is the ability of putting yourself into someone else's shoes, so imagining to feel and experience something more close to someone else's point of view may help you realize what they are feeling/thinking (feeling or thinking exactly the same is impossible, but taking a look from a different perspective is of help); again take a pause before reacting, give yourself space to think about your answer and make a proper and informed conscious choice (it may help reduce regrets too); remember there are multiple realities and none has to be more accurate, correct or perfect than another as they're all different: our reality is made by our own perspective, and same for anyone else (none of each is wrong or invalidated by the other one existing).

thats... interesting

Therapy speak isn't making anyone more selfish, but it is giving the most selfish and inconsiderate of us some really mature sounding and harder-to-refute justifications for the same shitty behaviors they've always had

Photography by, A.M. Lorek

purple flowers

ATTENTION PEOPLE MORE COMPETENT THAN ME AT NAMING THEIR EMOTIONS

What is the emotion for bored but happy? Like a positive bored? What's that's called?

Gary Zukav on the many forms of fear. [x]

My Mcat journey: i failed my mcat last year, and am going to have my mcat again in 54 days. I just wanted to share things i learnt from my failure: 1. Be fearless ( its so imp) 2. give your best 3. nomatter, what outcome love yourself 4. its totally okay to fail 5. have big dreams and clear vision 6. know what you want and struggle for it. 7. life will always through u opportunities as long as u are alive 8. Try to think everything in your own way 9. never be hopeless 10. block people with negative energy , people who tell u its difficult. block those cowards. 11.Be with the people who dream big and strive to achieve it. #success #story #lessonstolearn #failure

If life is simple,

Then why is it so hard to be happy-Wumpa

Anger

Isn’t anger mostly just frustration at your own failure to convince others to treat you or your views with respect?

My feelings are here to tell me what I need; they're not here to tell me who I am. My feelings make requests, not declarations.

— heyfrankiesimmons, 21 March 2023

can somebody remind me how old Chris is im trying to guess if Kenzie/Chris is a thing

Poker Face Day-August 12th

I'm starting this new practice of when I'm feeling strong emotions, I take a few seconds to identify and then communicate it.

My whole life I've thought I've been good with communication, which I have been. Having the hard and necessary conversations with anyone I share a relationship with... however, I'm only just now learning that I don't do this with my emotions.

I struggle with identifying them, naming them, and then communicating that to whoever I need to.

My therapist said we will start true work on this in a few weeks, but I already have been doing this emotions journal and we've gotten to this step and let me tell ya... not fucking easy... but I do see how vital and helpful it is to identify, name and communicate what you're feeling.

Wowza... you'd think I'd know how to do this already.

REGARDING MY REVERSE ROBINS TIM: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?

Tim: "Why not?"

Okay, my Tim is still learning

Adding to this post (and exactly "Tim was the little psycho just like many young children that you hate are") , I'd like to say that Tim being a very cynical and cold person before he re-joins the Bats and Birds is not just a result of him being dunked in a Lazarus Pit or Ra's al Ghul's attention. It's in the other circumstances: he didn't exactly mature, he didn't learn fully to feel what many other people start to feel long before 14 years. And while he, in fact, did suffer, died and all, it doesn't help, you know? It doesn't actually teach you emotions, but it did make him think that: so I'm mature now, I've seen some shit, it makes me a better judge, I know better and all that.

like. If I got separated from my family before I started to feel for real, before I started to care about people, I would be like him. Only he's deadlier and has dangerous skills, because Batman growing little crime fighters (criminals) in his luxurious garden is something you should be scared of.

so. you would ask: "how can he be the known League Assasin and actually Ra's Herald/Harbinger and not to be mature? how can he be ROBIN/SHRIKE person and not to be mature? you just confuse emotional maturity with following your standards!"

I'll answer: he can. if the last time I wanted to kill a person (and it didn't even matter which person, even a family member, even my mother, or my sister; I had no borders at all and the only thing between me and some horrific crimes was just me not wanting to risk a punishment or literal laziness; still, I did many unnecessary but bad things, just like many teens did) I was older than him when he died, and the same age when he started in the League... he can.

He didn't break the borders. He just didn't ever get them.

and it's important, for me. he didn't even process his parents' deaths (well, considering he died soon after his father did...). Even though he feels he misses them a lot, it just didn't have any impact on how he sees relationships and family. At all.

LOOK.

Again: don't get me wrong, both me and my Tim did feel emotions, had empathy (and it's INFURIATING to think now about how I just KNEW how feels beating someone up or what some person was thinking about when did something, but NOT knowing why someone would worry about me (didn't know WHAT worry means, WHAT is it, "WHY all the people surrounding me FEEL something I can't even UNDERSTAND, WHY the other people, even all my age, are so different, WHAT am I missing, AM I just smarter, AM I just the only one who has the right to do something that is not socially accepted? Are they just consumed by society standards? What, really, should stop me from killing someone, or r*ping someone, or something else, except the fact that I just don't always want to do something and therefore it's not worth the risk? Is there anything I can't do when I really want to? Why is stealing bad? Why do people feel compassion? Why am I wrong if I don't feel the same things other do?"), why does the worry become anger, or that love and consern for someone exist outside of weird conversations some people have - I don't mean romantically, because these days I still don't feel like romantical things exist yet) and all. Got angry when saw group of teens torturing a kitten. Felt proud of some accomplishments. Embarrassed when something didn't go right in public. Playing with other kids. Feeling joy, and fear, and (no sadness. just the feeling something's missing. maybe just sadness transforming to something else too quickly to be recognised), pityness, wanting to avenge, and other things.

Not emotionless, obviously.

Just not feeling anything that actually matters when it comes to your relationships with people. When you keep people around you just because you're used to them being there, talking to you, because they're the part of your surroundings. Not feeling anything about them for real. Not even missing them the way you're supposed to, when far away for long (only missing places or actions or company or missing that you don't have to build new relationships). But knowing that if you want to change this status quo it's way too easy to do it. Because everyone once thought it, even if they don't remember it: it's so damn easy to do wrong, WHY keep people worry about doing it if it's so easy to do it?

It IS childish, in a bad way. (And any person can regress to this, under the right circumstances). And while I snapped out of it when I turned, I don't know, 16 or 17 maybe, (this was looong overdue, but I'm glad, because I was old enough to actually realise how my mind, my view, my feelings had changed), like so many others did,... some people--- didn't.

And my Tim didn't, too.

So by the time he's lucid again and not shocked or overwhelmed, after waking up, reanimated, talking to Ra's, being in the League, it's just a question of "Why not?"

It's not like he has some special kind of bond with Gotham. Why not to accept getting some new skills, why not to accept some new knowledge, why not to accept some interesting work while (and HERE al Ghul's whisperings are) helping the organization lead by a cool, charismatic person who is ancient enough to see what world should be and how to achieve that? It's not like Tim cares about the world, though (most of people don't). It's just one of the points why he should accept all of this. So he does.

And it's not even a tough choice. Not even driven by anger or something.

Just freedom.