You are not too sensitive.
You are not overreacting.
If it hurts you, it hurts you.
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“If it matters to you, it’s important.” said ladybug. “All Your feelings are valid.
“Don't let anyone tell you
that whatever is hurting right now is not important.”
Stay close to people to whom you do not have to explain why your pain is important. Stay close to people who validate your feelings and to whom you do not have to explain your pain.
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Some nights you have to go to bed angry.
Don’t get me wrong
Communication is important
Catharsis is vital
And letting your emotions be seen
(Opening the hinges on your chest
To let you both/all live in the bloody
uncooked vulnerability that lives there
and squawks)
That is … well, terrifying
But necessary.
But some nights
Some nights
You are bone weary.
Some nights
The two
(Or three or four or more
- who cares, I'm not your dad -) of you
Are sleeping in shift patterns
Becuase you have a newborn
And you're anxious
And if you don't sleep now
You throw the whole fucking system off
Janet.
Some nights
You have work in the morning
And you can’t be late *again*.
(You can disappoint your partner
But you cannot let down your boss one more time
And, no, you do not wish
To interrogate *why*.)
Some nights
You would both like to have angry smooches
And then afterwards
You get sleepy.
Some nights
If you try to listen
Your eyes will close of their own accord
And the only thing worse than saying
“I cannot listen to your distress
Because my body is weak
And sleep is good, actually
And I want to sleep
And I do not want to listen. Goodnight”
Is to say:
“Okay, I’m listening”
And fall asleep anyway.
Some nights
You are bone weary.
Some nights
You are both drunk
And know the morning
Will already contain
Enough regrets.
Some nights
You are bone weary.
Some nights
You listen to yourself
And realise there is an amplifier
Stuck somewhere in your gullet
That will turn every whisper
Into a shout that sandblasts your throat
And your lover’s face.
You don’t know how to turn it off
You can’t find a wire to unplug
But that means it probably runs on batteries
So if you just give it time it will die
And in the morning
You will cry at a normal volume.
Some nights
You know
You just need to marinade
In the spice
So you are properly tender
Tomorrow.
Some nights you have to go to bed angry
Because angry people deserve rest too.
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No because hear me out: self control has to also include you LETTING STUFF OUT like take the time every once in a while to scream and cry and scream and cry and cry and scream AND FEEL THOSE BAD FEELINGS TOO trust me you owe it to yourself!
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