#do you understand why im so bewitched by this man? do you even get it | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flaneurpastel · 1 year

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wanna write something about our favorite man but don't know what ? don't have any prompts ?

do not worry, im here.

im just a fellow reader, who enjoys a little too much angst and fluff with sad boys (simon im talking about you baby), so yeah i wanna read more, and the refresh button is now broken bcuz there isn't enough fics !!!! and pls free to tag me in your works, ill be glad to read it and everything <3 enough talking ;

AND it's not necessarily quality it's even cliché or seen and seen again, it's just what i would like to read cuz im a hopeless lover.

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PILLOWTALK !!! there is not enough of pillowalk scenarios here, not something long but like short and efficient pls pls pls pls

bonus if simon is slightly drunk, so he talks a little more, going so far as to voluntarily say stupid things to hear you laugh, or get a little kiss to make him shut up the nonsense cuz now he's being adorably silly, but hey, he loves it, so he'll do even more and maybe a make out session or idk maybe ... but drunk!simon needs to be studied fr

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MORE DOMESTIC THINGS TO DO TOGETHER! (and yes im screaming rn)

im thinking of when he calls reader from the bathroom to get help with his haircut. you know he can do it himself, he was doing fine before he met you. but something about having you so close to him, feeling your fairy fingers caressing his scalp, your bewitching smell. all these things make him absolutely need you. no need to explain more.

people, write domestic things, simon needs a little love and calm of a simple life. 😔

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something i saw with another character in another fandom a long time ago but it was so cute that i want, no

I NEED the same thing with simon.

when you need to go to the bathroom, or you're so sick that you have to spend hours and hours in it, simon always goes with you when you first move into your apartment together, to stay with you by the door. you always make small talk, and you're not even embarrassed anymore because it's become a normal thing in your relationship. but simon follows you everywhere, literally, because hey, you're the love of his life so why spend a minute away from you ?

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you and ghost had a fight when you came back from a mission that was dangerous for you. the team decides to go to a bar next to the base, to celebrate this mission that was still successful. and this, despite the obvious tensions between you two. the shots keep coming, the alcohol gets to your head, and the euphoria of the evening only enhances your beauty, which obviously attracts suitors to take you for the night. simon's reaction is up to you, jealous, angry, indifferent (but not too much)

so yeah, I need to see jealousy possessiveness hardness unconditional love (but not in a yandere way lol)

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your evening always ends in front of the TV together. to make an assessment of your day, to tell the last gossips, to take stock of the shopping at the supermarket to be done tomorrow whatever!

tonight it was the sound of the TV that won, you were both silent because very tired! but the caresses, your fingers intertwining, the glances in corner, and the shadow of a smile on the discovered face of simon were there more important than the broadcast program. it's innocent, loving, light, sweet, like a little game. it's like teenagers afraid to be discovered by adults. do you get the vibe ?

something cute, not necessarily nsfw, but AHHH im so in love with him why

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reader is annoyed with simon for x reasons (it's up to you), she starts to hit him on the chest, to insult him, the sobs mix with her anger and it becomes difficult to understand clearly what she reproaches to simon. this one, takes everything, says nothing, and makes everything to appear indifferent and impassive to his crisis of nerves, but in the bottom he is afraid and feels terribly guilty to have put his beloved in this state. accentuate on the difference of size and strength between the two, the blows inflicted to Simon are only vulgar small fags on the arm or the chest. how is he going to make it up to them ? is he going to try to calm reader down, or let them continue until they are exhausted?

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if reader's native language is not basic english, then I absolutely must see simon being in awe every time reader speaks their language. the admiration and love is in his eyes, whether he wears the balaclava or not, whether his eyes are painted black or not, everyone can see that he only has unconditional love which multiplies by ten (when it is already infinite) when he hears your beautiful voice saying words he doesn't understand.

bonus point if simon makes every effort to learn your language and communicate with you. if you listen carefully you will see simon whispering some words after you, while you are engaged in a conversation with someone.

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you know what ? i would love to see a monologue from simon where he talks about reader (because someone asked if he had a partner) little anecdotes, his description of u (personality not physical so we want something inclusive!!!), but most of all HIS LOVE for us. cuz he's so in love, like the only time he talks surprisingly much is when he has to do a briefing of the missions, or when he talks about you, because you're such an amazing person and simon is so in love, and our baby has never received as much love and peace and serenity as he does with you, and does he really deserve it? to be with someone like you? to feel so good in your arms, to kiss you every time he meets your gaze, to lure him to show his colleagues, his friends, shit to the whole world love,

NO, AH, I don't have the words but the word love is now too weak to describe it all. in short you understand me.

#simon ghost riley x you #simon ghost riley #simon riley x reader #simon x reader #simon riley #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost headcanons #cod x reader

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ashmp3 · 11 months

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okay re: ur vocal note/rant bc ofc i listened i have issues yeah omg i put it on in the background like a little podcast

and like i am sooo with you on this 😵‍💫 like its so unfair abt how a girl will take out her insecurity and anger at a guy and put it onto ANOTHER girl instead of the guy!!!! like be mad at him like it just sounds so 16th century witchhunt that apparently the guy isn't responsible for who he wants to sit and talk to and rather theyre mad that another woman is trying to charm and bewitch him like boohoo sorry u only see other women as competition and also u sound like a better person than me bc best believe if i was friends w a girl and she acted like that i would be playing breakup playlists and sulking and ripping my hair out and writing w a glitter red gel pen abt all the curses that i want to befall her bc there is nothing worse than being a girls' girl and then being hated by other girls!!!!!!!!! (esp bc of a man) feels like hell is a pit in ur stomach!!!!!!!!

and to insert myself omg i graduated hs a year and a half ago now but even from then until now ive had the same friend group which is a group of guys and for no other reason than that i genuinely like them and theyre like a group of brothers to me and we vibe but the hatred from other girls is literally heartbreaking 😭 bc every so often i would hear in high school abt 'oh xyz from this group of girls called u a pick me and talked abt u and said u want male attention' which is a batshit crazy take bc everyone knows that i preferred women anyway like wdym im not gonna date any of those guys in my group we are friends...just friends....and once in y10 this guy was obsessed w me and he was like a millionaires son and popular and i was shy and kinda intrigued so i dated him for a little while but 16 year old me would hear comments 24/7 in the hallways abt how i was some slut for doing it (it being dating him) which is crazyyyy bc every single one of these comments came from girls (and girls who i knew liked this guy)

so like omg yes to agree w u on everything nothing is more infuriating and annoying as hell when like girls forgo ur friendship and ur good intentions and just the overall sisterhood vibe bc theyre mad some guy is into u...like even if ur not into him back 😭 sorry for the long ass ask

call her daddy count your days call her ashmp3 is coming to take over ur little podcast…

i KNOWWW but genuinely she doesn’t have any reason to be mad at either of us? like he sat next to you because you dragged him there and then all you did was bat your eyelashes and giggle and i know she’s shocked that this didn’t work because she is really so pretty and men kneel down just to talk to her. And i am sure the guy doesn’t even like me i think I was intriguing to him and we hit it off well so of course it might look like that. also she knows i don’t even want him she KNOWS who i got my eyes on so i was just so shocked at her behavior.

also the whole thing about breakup playlists and red glitter pen i love you you are so funny and expressive i giggled… And yeah i don’t do that i’m like oh well moving on. I don’t like dwelling on things, and i don’t get sad i get mad. Mad because as you said, being a girls girl and then it flipping on you is just aggravating.

PEOPLE DO THAT ALL THE TIMEEEE like why is it so hard to believe that you see them as friends and they see you as a PERSON that’s their FRIEND no i’m telling you it’s girls that see attention from a guy as a confidence boost or confirmation that they are worth something which is all fucked up and not normal way to think about yourself… But i think the deep insecurities just come from the place of wanting to be accepted. And they can’t understand that you hanging out with your friends doesn’t mean anything more because they themselves couldn’t do it aka they would try and flirt… So u get hated on bc they project themselves and think what they would do. FUCKED UP!

i had that happen with another cancer guy and in hs and still now i don’t have instagram facebook nothing i am a monk in a body of a baddie. But i remember my friend showing me profile of random girl and saying “she hates you and talks shit about you bc of cancer guy” like you don’t KNOW ME. Hate HIM lmfaoosjdjsjs i mean don’t hate anyone… Crazy

and 🫂🫂🫂 long asks are always welcome and thank you for listening to my rant and i am sorry you went through things like this bc it’s truly heartbreaking being reduced to a “pick me” just because you don’t act shy around just some guys.

#ask

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satorinnie · 3 years

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love and war

pairing; gojo satoru x f!reader

genre; angst

wc; 3,6k

warnings; jjk manga spoilers

notes; i think its obvious the ending is a bit rushed but i still tried my best :/ got the motivation to write the ending but then lost it again...but i wanted to post it today so here it goes. would love to hear feedback on it!

it wasn’t meant to play out like this. no, he wasn’t meant to find out about it, not like this at least.

that was the last thing you ever wanted.

everything was going so fine, maybe too fine, but still, nonetheless, things were perfect between the two of you just this morning. how did it come to this?

he was looking at you, blindfold off, crescent blue eyes reflecting each emotion he held so so openly. the only times you saw him this vulnerable was when the two of you had talked about his past, his regrets, and what if’s. his eyes were full of adoration at that time, looking at you like you were a pure blessing from the heavens, an angel sent to save him from his drowning thoughts, to let him be himself.

but now, now they were looking at you with so much hurt, anger, regret, and oh so heartbroken.

you had seen, witnessed, first-hand what the receiving end of gojo’s furious gaze ended with. it wasn’t pleasant, that’s for sure, and you had sworn to yourself you would never be on the receiving end of it.

oh, how the tables have turned.

it was understandable why he was so mad; god knows you would be too. because you, who had delicately pieced back his broken heart and trust after the events of getou, had now broken it, by your very own hands at that.

how did it all come to this? you had no idea. you knew starting a relationship with him was wrong and off-limits from the very beginning, but the temptation had surpassed your rationality just like eve when she bit the apple. you never thought you’d fall this deep down the hole, so deep that you forgot–no, ignored your true mission.

to monitor gojo satoru and sukuna’s vessel and kill them when you got the order.

it was last year when the head sorcerers in england had given you this mission. if gojo was unbeatable and unrivaled in japan, you were the same in england. perhaps your curse technique wasn’t as strong as his, but it was versatile and a very reliable technique.

after itardori yuuji became the only sukuna’s vessel, japan wasn’t the only country sour about the thought of it; in fact, it had caused a panic in europe as well. and as england was the country that ruled the jujutsu world in europe, you were assigned with monitoring the vessel and the owner of the six eyes. they wanted their eyes and hands on the boy with the infinity.

but you befriending everyone there, joking with the curse himself, and becoming lovers with the one and only gojo satoru was definitely not how you planned for things to go. it spelled trouble from the beginning, getting close to the shaman who had an ego and power rivaling the gods. but, unfortunately, you were now too deep to just leave without explaining everything to him, and even hoping for a chance that he’d forgive the lies you fed him throughout your times together was a little farfetched.

how could you make him believe that everything you said was genuine, and out of true love? the answer was you couldn’t because the betrayal in his eyes was enough for you to gulp down those hopes, taking a deep breath to prepare for the argument that was about to come. “look–satoru, please let me explain and don’t jump to conclusions.” you lifted your hands in front of you as an act to calm him down, walking closer to him with a futile attempt to hold his hands.

“explain what?” a laugh escaped his throat, one mixed with desperation and madness, “that everything between us was a lie? a mission for you? how do you plan on slithering your way out of this now, huh?” his voice rising with each word he was spitting out of his mouth.

you were desperately trying to keep up the expression that you had everything together, when in fact, you didn’t at all. your hands were starting to shake because you were scared of losing the man in front of you whom you were utterly in love with. the boy with the infinity held your heart in his palms, and he had no idea about it. “nothing was a lie, alright! i know how that document looked, and i can’t lie and tell you that isn’t true, but my love for you is–”

“keep those fucking lies to yourself y/n–you know, everyone knows already. megumi, yuuji, maki, even shoko–”

“stop cutting me, gojo! i know it might be unforgivable, but you have to believe me when i say i forgot about the mission. i love you, okay? i am undeniably and utterly in love with you, and that’s why i’ve been ignoring every call, every message they’ve been sending me about the task because i can’t do it!” you were screaming now, hands in the air, trying to voice out every single emotion you were feeling in that moment.

“well, it’s too bad that i don’t love you anymore! you know, i’ve known about this for a few weeks now and was hoping you’d open up to me about it, but–”

you froze at his last sentence.

“–you what? so you’re telling me that everything that happened in between us during those weeks was an act? all fake? you were just waiting for me to open up so you could what, break my heart in a more grand way?” now you had to give it to him, not only was he secretly smart, he was also a great actor who had you fooled for weeks now. the room was silent after your words, both your eyes staring deep into each other; you, waiting for his answer.

and you watched as he opened and closed his mouth, not sure how to answer your question. but you knew what that meant; with his hesitance, you had found your answer. breaking your eye contact, you looked down at the floors of the home you used to share; you could hear your heart shattering into millions of pieces with just the sound of his breathing.

“alright,” you whispered into the air. running your hand over your face, you leaned back against the kitchen counter. “so how will this go? are you going to let me go or are we gonna have a full-on fight right now? or is everyone already waiting outside the door to capture me?” you were doing your best to avoid eye contact, it was already too heard keeping your tears from falling, and you knew one more look at the eyes you loved so much would break you.

there was silence for a few minutes, but in your eyes, a few minutes was an eternity long. the fact that he was debating the question you left was heartbreaking already. but you weren’t afraid to fight; you had come to japan prepared for the worst-case scenario, and getting to know satoru up close, you believed you had a fair chance at winning.

“–im giving you twenty-four hours to leave this country. if you don’t–you know what’s to happen.” this had you lifting your head in the speed of lightning, eyes wide mouth agape, you could only watch as gojo satoru left your shared house without sparing you a single glance.

he was oblivious to how he carried your heart out the door when he left you stranded in the middle of the kitchen.

it was an hour after your discussion, and you were still in the same spot he left you. still standing, still too paralyzed to move. the reality of things being over was just starting to weigh on you, but you knew you had to start packing because not only gojo; but england was going to be after you too.

you failed the mission. and you didn’t plan on returning back.

war is a slippery slope. what would you do? becomes what will you do? becomes what have you done?

looking around the now-empty home, you built with gojo; tears started falling from your hallow eyes. so many memories resurfaced in one moment; it was overwhelming. the day your first saw him when he was trying to crack a joke at nanami to get him to smile. or the time he first asked you out admitting he had found you a force to be reckoned with and how you had managed to bewitch him. the day you accepted, the day he made you see stars behind your eyes from pure bliss. the day he proposed living together. the day you danced around the living room with his obnoxious music playing at the back, head laid against his chest humming to the melodies. how you felt like a family when you saw him and the students act so close–

how long has it been? how long have you been pushing your actual task behind the lies and excuses you fed yourself. was that person you? the ever so stone-hearted y/n breaking her facade for the boy with infinity.

my god, my god, whose performance am i watching? how many people am i? who am i? what is this space between myself and myself?

it was all getting too much. when had you fallen down the hole to never leave again? should you be grateful, or should you curse the fact that despite all misfortune, you can still feel love and unearthly love but still for earthly objects?

finally getting a grip on yourself, your feet moved down the hall to your shared bedroom, and without wasting a glance at his side, you quickly started to pack your stuff to leave japan.

gojo wasn’t doing well himself. he thought he had finally found true happiness after all the loss he had to go through, and it all turned out to be nothing but an act built on lies. after he left your shared home, he had wandered around in the streets with no destination in mind and the cold chilly air blowing past him. his blindfold was still off, the moon making his crystal blue eyes shine even more, still with unshed tears at the brink of it—a dam about to break.

he knew he lied to you when he told you he didn’t love you anymore and only hoped the years of the facade he had to keep up was enough to fool you into believing his words when in fact, it was the very opposite. he loved you so much–so much that it broke him when he read the document that was mailed to you weeks ago. you and him were an inseparable duo–the strongest and his tamer. the boy with the infinity and the girl who held him down with gravity.

upon wandering the streets for god knows how many hours, he found himself in front of a riverbank. the light of the moon was radiating, creating a painting of a million stories for the broken boy. but while being so engrossed with the view in front of him, he had failed to feel someone creeping up behind him; with his infinity down, nanami was able to lend a hand on his shoulder. “i’m assuming you talked with her.” he broke the silence.

his silenced gaze worried his friend; they promised to keep it between themselves. while nanami believed letting the kids know would be the better choice, gojo was adamant about keeping your good image in front of them. he knew how much they adored you, and he would hate to be the one to break it to them. “i did.”

“and what choice did you go with?”

“i gave her a full day to leave, and if otherwise–” he gulped down the lump forming in his throat, “–if otherwise, i told her i would fight her.” tears now slowly starting to trail down his porcelain skin, an odd view to see for his foes.

“you did the right thing.” nanami tried his best to console him in a way. this was a new image for him; he never saw gojo break down like this; the last time he saw his best friend (he would never admit that to his face, though) like this was when he had to kill getou, even then he had managed to keep up the aloof facade. but he knew his feeling for you ran much, much deeper than that. he has witnessed what your companionship had done to him. it was what pieced him back, and now what broke him.

it’s been years since you left, but you were back now. back in japan after two years of staying away, traveling to many different countries, on the runaway from the higher-ups in england. you would’ve preferred your return to be on good news and such, but unfortunately, it was the opposite. your friends back in england had informed you about how they planned on ending gojo’s life once in for all today with a team of experienced sorcerers, and although you wanted to keep away from trouble as much you could, you couldn’t let the man you love die.

with your hood covering your face, you walked down the streets of shibuya, the once war zone that led to many disastrous events in the past years under your feet. you heard about everything; the culling game and the capture of gojo satoru, thank god those were all in the past now, and everyone was well–except nanami, and the new had broken you. just like gojo and the students, he also had a special place in your heart, his calm attitude always grounding you. you don’t think his last thoughts of you were good–considering what gojo had told you the night you left, but still, his death was unexpected news to you.

you didn’t know how you were going to approach the topic; there was a big chance they’d attack you the second you entered their line of vision, not allowing you to voice out the news–but it was worth the try nonetheless. taking your hood down, you entered a cafe; the need for caffeine after the long flight back here was strong, the anxiousness and stress not allowing you to sleep. what you didn’t expect was seeing the three first years–now third years–you loved so much sitting in the cafe chatting idly, not noticing you. you wanted to keep it that way, but on your way out, a feminine voice called out your name. “y/n sensei? is that you?”

your steps halted, freezing in your stop. the confrontation was inevitable now, causing a stir in a crowded place was the last thing you wanted so you turned around to see nobara staring at you with wide eyes, megumi and itadori behind shocked just as her. what you didn’t expect was her running straight at your engulfing you with wide arms; a big grin plastered on her face. “where were you! you disappeared out of nowhere, and gojo sensei wouldn’t tell us anything! we were really worried; you left me alone with these two idiots–you know you’re the only one who understands my pain–”

“–i’m sorry, i had to go on an abroad mission, and it took too long. it’s good to be back.” you hugged her back tightly, still trying to process the new information she threw at you. gojo had lied, and that made you question everything you believed in. had he also lied about his love for you back then? but that was for later–for now, you wanted to cherish this news and spend time with your favorite students, learn about their well-being and their stories.

“come on, let’s sit shall we? we got lots to catch up on.”

it was now midnight, and you were waiting somewhere in the middle of the forest for your dreaded meeting with gojo. you managed to convince the kids into telling gojo to meet you here without actually letting him know it was you. they were excited, to say the least, talking about how you and he were the epitomai of soulmates, two pieces meant to find each other, filling up the gaping hole you both had. you were very nervous, fidgeting in your spot, hiding behind the tree waiting for him to arrive, and when you heard footsteps nearing you–you knew this was it, heart pounding like crazy.

walking out of your hiding spot, you slowly made your way over to him, hands stiff at your sides anticipating his reaction. “gojo.” he looked at you, blindfold on this time. still, you could see his displeasure from how his body stiffened at your voice, looking at you with a straight face. “what’re you doing here? i thought i told you to leave.” you sighed, walking closer to him, “i know, and i am going to leave again, but before that, i need to tell you something–” you were cut off by the powerful shake of the ground, throwing you off balance resulting in you falling to the ground.

behind you were your old friends from england, standing tall and mighty together–a force to be reckoned with; you were once one of them, but alas, that was the past. “thanks you leading us straight to him y/n.” elizabeth smirked looking at your fallen state, “you made things a whole lot easier for us.” she continued. looking back at gojo, you were surprised to see his hands locked in some type of chain. how did they manage to get past his infinity–unless he didn’t have it on in the first place. did let his guard down once he saw you? why would he do that?

“no, no, no– leave him alone, elizabeth! i swear to god i’ll rain hell upon all of you!” you stood up desperately trying to leave the makeshift cage your friend had put you in when a sudden idea came to you. it was risky, but it would save him, and that–that was all you needed, your purpose of coming here in the first place.

“lover boy is being quite over there. what is it? cat got your tongue?” she was taunting you and definitely enjoying it too. walking closer to you, she neared your face while the others were beside gojo, “you’re both fools believing you guys could be together in the first place, that’s how it works–” she was cut off by the stomp of your foot on the ground lifting a piece of rock–the one gojo was on, up to the air, away from your ex-friends. if you couldn’t save yourself, you could at least save him; apologize for your past mistakes.

from where you were, you couldn’t do much, but you used all your might to send rock flying in the air towards them meanwhile keeping gojo away from them. your cursed technique was called upon the tainted sorrow, the ability to manipulate gravity, and it was unrivaled in europe. you trained too much to reach where you were, the strongest just like gojo, but even the strong can fall, and all it takes is the blink of an eye.

you were on the ground again, but this time blood pouring from your insides, a deadly piercing through your abdomen. while you were so engrossed with trying to keep gojo safe, you hadn’t realized he was already off the piece of rock fighting the rest. and he had made the mistake of underestimating them, resulting in the struggle. but that distraction was enough for elizabeth to pierce the cursed knife through you.

one second you were on the ground; the next, you were in someone’s arms. looking up, you were met with the crystal blue eyes you had grown to love staring right back at yours. this reminded you of the moments where you used to lay on his chest, hands tangled in his snow-white hair, his hands keeping you tight against him, eyes staring at each other with nothing but love. how unfortunate things weren’t that way now. you bleeding onto his hands which hopelessly applied pressure to your wound in hopes of saving you, his blindfold now off, tears slowly caressing his face. it was a sight for the eyes. you lifted your hand up to cup his cheek, imprinting a red hand mark right where you touched him, “satoru–”

“save your breath, i called for shoko; she’ll be here any minute, and we can save you–” you silenced him with your thumb on his lips, “satoru, this was inevitable, even if you save me now, they’ll still be after me. it’ll be a never-ending cycle.”

“no, i can keep you safe, y/n. remember? it’s us against the world, baby. always has been and always will be.” he kissed your forehead, still keeping you close. his eyes were shut tight; he could feel your consciousness slipping away and knew he couldn’t save you. but can’t a man hope? and as you uttered your last words, body temperature turning cold, breathing stopping, he knew right then and there this was where he lost it all. this was how he lost the light of his world, in his own hands, between his arms.

“for what it’s worth, i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard.” and he knew those words would haunt him for an eternity. follow him wherever he went. the ghost of you will always be with him, never leaving. you will hold him down by gravity with just your soul. yet he still wanted to curse the gods for taking you away from him, his fresh breath of air, his anchor.

your love was strong, but the timing was wrong, and love decided that you both didn’t belong.

#jjk gojo #gojo satoru x reader #gojo angst #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x y/n #gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen angst

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mitsukui · 3 years

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Hello! I have a request, if that's alright! So a george fluff smut where you were being very insecure of your body in general, and george tried his best to be as loving as he could during sex (praising, kissing every spot, being very gentle) and trying to prove to you that to him, you are the most beautiful person that he would ever love hshfksjf im so soft for georgie but yeah here's a rough idea! thank you 🥺

Hey, anon! Hope you’re doing well ✨ Of course that’s alright! Please, feel free to request whatever you want, whenever you want to. I’m always here, ready to make you guys happy somehow! I loved this request, and it hit me so hard because I’m honestly so insecure about my own body 🥺 I hope this can make you feel better somehow and, if you ever need someone to talk to, I’m here! Thank you for the request! Sending you all the love in the universe ❤️

Explicit content below!

He felt your walls clenching around the only finger he had inserted in you and groaned involuntarily at the sensation. His eyes fell upon your naked body, and George felt his cock twitching inside his underwear, which its fabric had a wet stain on it. With precum freely leaking from his tip, his brain produced impure and lustful images, where you could be seen under him, one of his hands around your neck.

Although he was in a daze, caused by the way you squirmed at his touch and your breathtaking body, the young man with fiery locks furrowed his eyebrows as soon as his eyes captured your hands attempting to cover bits of your skin.

His movements suddenly came to a halt, a trail of frustrated whines escaping your lips weakly. He propped his body up by one of his elbows, and his eyes were gentle when they looked at you.

"Why do you have your hands over your body, love?"

Dizzy due to the still fresh pleasure, your eyelashes fluttered, and you opened your eyes; chocolate brown ones easily found yours, exactly like he could so easily read you whenever there was something wrong.

You did not want to say it out loud. You felt embarrassed for feeling it, and for being like that. For having that body of yours. And, deep down inside, you were afraid of saying it out loud because it could make him realize it, too.

George Weasley, the man who had lived in your dreams and heart for so long, could at last realize you were not beautiful.

You fell silent right beside him, and he was unhappy with it. A faint idea of what could be bothering you came to his mind, and a pang of pain hit his heart sharply.

As a couple who talked about every and anything, you obviously have talked about it before. He was aware of your insecurities regarding your body and your looks, even though he could not understand any of them.

In his eyes, you were magically beautiful. Ethereal,almost. Sometimes, it was hard to believe you were real, and his. There was not one single little thing he disliked about you. He adored you wholeheartedly.

George pressed his lips against your temples as he scooted closer to you. He felt the sheets underneath his body moving along with him, and the softness of it brought a certain comfort to him. But nothing compared to being close to you, being yours, and reminding you he was utterly in love with you.

He made the decision not to talk about it. He would rather show his love through his actions, the way he allowed his own hands to roam your mesmerizing body, and how he would make sure you would feel his love slipping through his lips and falling on you.

George started by doing small things, such as running his fingers over your jawline and capturing your lips onto his in a slow and slightly sloppy kiss. Self-consciousness still profoundly tormented you, but it was almost impossible to focus on anything other than his tongue swirling around yours. He knew exactly what he was doing, what he was hiding behind his thoughtful moves.

He wanted you to feel beautiful, desired, and loved because you were. He loved you so, so, so deeply.

Sloppy kissing led to some of the salivas mixed dripping down your chin. He pulled away and studied how the transparent liquid created a delicious contrast with your skin tone, and his intoxication became evident even to himself.

Your face was held by his slender fingers with the most delicate touch he could pull off, and you sighed dreamily. He could dominate you in ways you had never even imagined.

His warm tongue ran over your chin, cleaning whatever was left of your kiss before going down to your collarbones. While he nibbled your soft skin, his fingers traveled down to your hard nipples.

A gasp echoed in the bedroom you shared with him, and you obviously tried to get away from the intimate touch, fearing he would see you through your own eyes. Noticing your reactions, his two hands held you down by your hips, and he hummed against you.

One of his hands kept you in the place where he wanted you to be, and the other continued playing with your sensitive nipples. Soon enough, however, it touched your wet cunt.

As he circled your clit slowly, the initial contact from before the train wreck being restarted, you felt a bit of your worrying vanishing away. His voice whispered sweet nothings to you, and how he had been bewitched by you for so long, ever since you were two stupid teenagers in Hogwarts. Your ear shell was being lovingly caressed by words like 'I have never loved anyone as much as I love you', and 'you take my breath away by simple existing'.

He ran his thumb over your cheekbones as pleasure invaded your body, but his self-neglect somehow managed to interrupt your combination of loathing and lust. In a bold move, which you did not understand how it happened, you engulfed two of his fingers with your mouth.

Once more, his cock twitched, and he moved his fingers on your clit at a new and faster speed. At that moment, though, there was nothing more important than making you feel his love; he could take care of his erection later.

You moaned against his fingers, your tongue running all over his milky and lightly calloused skin, and your cheeks being hollowed to create a bit of pressure.

It did not take long until you were cumming on his fingers, your orgasm blanking anything negative and self-deprecating that existed inside you.

Automatically, when you were back to Earth after your high, you used your hands to cover your nude and trembling body. It did not go unnoticed by him, but he chose to finally use his words.

"My love, please, do understand this: I adore the very parts of you that you have forgotten how to love."

Masterlist!

Tag list! ❤️ @efyra @writingsomewrongs @pineapplesandpinas @ronweaselysslut @fiction-is-the-new-reality @hufflepuff5972

#george weasley x reader #george weasley imagine #george weasley smut #george weasley #harry potter imagine #harry potter smut #🌼 — personal: writings

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starglitterz · 3 years

Note

others were never really patient with her form of amusement.

zhongli, the funeral consultant who always seemed like something greater, had never been patient with her. qiqi has never been fond of her attempts to return her to eternal rest. the exorcist chongyun has always been irritated with her. xiangling remains annoyed by her pranks, even if she harbors no ill will towards her. one of the few people who can tolerate her, adeptus xiao, shows no interest in actually establishing a relationship with her (or being kind, but hu tao would never say that. she doesn't need the ill will of the adepti directed at her!).

but you? you had never looked at her with distaste or annoyance. so... why are you starting now?

hu tao isn't foolish. she knows when it started. she just doesn't understand how you fell from her fingertips. she treated you as gently as she treats the flower she sticks in her hat, trying to cultivate your love with care. hu tao wasn't the perfect lover, but she certainly tried her best. she even wrote you poetry of her own creation, even if the words were childish.

a silk flower sits beneath a tree. right next to it, you and me! hand in hand, like we always do. never forget, quill, i love you!

hu tao would say the poem incessantly in a playful, sing-song tone, yet a faint hint of seriousness would be behind her words. after all, they were woven from the words of truth. they still are, even if your heart belong to someone else the moment the crux returned to liyue. kaedehara kazuha and you met at the wangsheng funeral parlor of all places, where he had smiled at you so softly and spoken to you with such sweetness.

you had grown distant from hu tao and closer to the inazuman outcast. hu tao watched as you grew attached to him, despite being committed to her. she watched as you betrayed her before her eyes, offering her a half-hearted apology as you returned everything she gave you. you didn't mean it. you weren't sorry. you had used hu tao for everything she was worth than left once a better option came along. kazuha ignites the stars in your eyes.

and for hu tao? she's left to deal with the corpse of your love. despite her experience with death, she doesn't quite know how to put these feelings to rest. you betrayed her, yet she loves you. if you were to return, she would take you back in her arms.

"overseer," a voice interrupts hu tao's spiraling thoughts as she stands in the lobby of the wangsheng funeral parlor. "are you alright?"

it's the familiar voice of zhongli. she knows he cannot stand her, yet he's also kind enough to inquire whenever he sees anguish. is she that pathetic that she requires his assistance.

"just peachy! i'm doing quite well, actua-" hu tao begins, but her voice cracks on the final syllable. tears well up in her eyes and she pauses, not wanting to make a pathetic display of herself in front of her underling. but the honeyed gaze of zhongli is too much. it reads her entirely. he knows. he knows you left. he wouldn't look at her with such a pitying gaze otherwise.

the consultant steps forward and envelops her smaller frame in a hug. it is comforting, despite the rift that exists between him. hu tao can't stop herself as a sob breaks out of her. no words exit her lips, only broken cries.

"a true lover would not break the unspoken contract of a relationship," zhongli advises, but hu tao shakes her head. her hands scrabble to get a grip on his back, hugging him close and desperately as she unprofessionally breaks down.

"i don't want a true lover, i want quill," she cries. zhongli remains steady, holding her close. she cannot see his face as she buries her head into the expensive fabric of his coat. is he disappointed in her? annoyed? angry? she doesn't know.

she ruins her relationships with everyone. she couldn't even keep you. what's another bridge burnt? zhongli will keep returning anyways. he needs a paycheck.

yet, she can't see the solemn expression that crosses his face. it's one of understanding. even if he still had his gnosis, there are some wishes that an archon cannot grant. humanity are fickle creatures. their emotions are untamed and their whims are difficult to understand. but, for now, zhongli is knowledgeable enough to know that hu tao needs a friend as she heals from the wounds that you inflicted on her.

so, he stands with her as she sobs in the halls of the wangsheng funeral parlor, the same place you met the man that you left her for.

can some archon please give me the strength i need to get through this ebg week 😭😭😭

okay

OKAY

OKAY !!!!!!!

yes i love kazuha he completely bewitched me and stole my heart from whoever had it prior to this,,, just kidding i have always loved kazuha with my entire soul and being haha idk why some funeral parlour owner is sad abt me haha

wow kazuha is looking So pretty today right 😄😄😄 also axia idk if ur ask got attacked by tumblr but its so blurry for some reason :/// might be bc im looking at it through tears though BUT OFC i am crying bc kazuhas beautiful poetry brought me to tears no other reason like angst of a specific person yknow

shoutout to zhongli for being there for his friends ig 😕 he's a real one unlike some mutual named axia purposefully trying to hurt me 🙄

IM NOT GIVING YOU MY NEXT STRIKE YOU AREN'T GOING TO MAKE ME LOSE

#WOW OKAY SO THATS HOW YOU WANNA PLAY IT HUH #i am literally #in tears #CRYING SM RN !!!!!!!!!#I HATE IT HERE #OKAY THEN #FINE #starts sobbing #ILL GET YOU TOMORROW #💌 — love letters !#axia💌#❄ — ebg !

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bunny-xoxo · 3 years

Text

Pretty People Supremacy Playlist 🖤

for my angel @1010andneji , I hope you love it 🖤

disclaimers: fem!reader, because this a request for someone with she/her pronouns, I believe the reader is referred to as she/her a few times, Kenma is aged up and this is based in him attending University just to be clear‼️

warning: it gets a little saucy in the make out department ?

gif not mine, credit to owner

a/n: ahhhhh!!! I’m sorry this took so long and I really hope you like it and you felt like it was worth the wait! Please let me know if you need me to change anything ‼️ i luv you bae 😔✊🏼 also thank you to my wife @ikigaitooru for helping me choose your matchup here! I was stuck between one other person but we ultimately decided on Kenma, we both believe he exhibits prime quiet himbo energy :) also I kind of went off and wrote a lot on this one 😶 sorry I think? Regardless, I hope you enjoy!!!

Relationship Headcannons

Ok so ultimately, I paired you together NOT just cause you thinks he’s pretty but I think you guys would be so good together!! Like you would be so good for him

You guys would balance each other out socially and just be the best pair to hang out with pleaseee

He knows he can be stupid and chaotic with you and you know you can let yourself wind down with him!!

Kenma CAN be blunt sometimes so I’m sure he’d have to catch onto your sensitivity at first, but he’d be so sincere if he ever accidentally said or did anything that made you feel some type of way

And once he is aware of your sensitivity he’s constantly reassuring you in little ways, not only that he understands and is trying to comfort you but just to reassure you he loves you, for example :

HAND SQUEEZES

I know some people have mentioned that he wouldn’t be into PDA but I disagree! It’s just not in the conventional let me be all over you types of PDA

I feel like it’s just not a big deal to him cause he’s like 🤨 what do I have to be embarrassed for?? This my mf baby and I’m gonna hold her hand if I want to ??

Like, I see him as a big hand holder frfr

He would just see it as such an easy way to be physically close to you and even if that’s just holding pinky’s he’s down!

It would also help him if he’s feeling anxious!

Like he’d fiddle with your hands and fingers if he’s feeling particularly antsy or nervous

You guys are out and he wants to go in a different direction? He’s definitely bringing your hand to his lips to give a quick peck and pull you along

“C’mon, let’s look over here”

AND HES SO NONCHALANT ABOUT IT TOO LIKE HE JUST DOESNT QUITE REALIZE THE EFFECT HE HAS ON YOU WHEN HE DOES THAT (he totally does but he likes to be slick and act like he doesn’t 🙄)

He would also DEFINITELY let you play with his hands if you’re nervous or bored or whatever reason honestly, he’d find it soothing and knows it occupies you or fills a need (and you get to look at pretty Kenma hands c’mon now)

ANYWAYS there are other little ways he’d reassure you too besides hand squeezes and holding

Definitely the type to leave you little notes in places for you to find them and they’d always say such simple things like “hi- kenma <3” LMAOOOO PLS HES TRYING HIS BEST

I think the final biggest way he’d love to reassure you would be words of affirmation (this is definitely a private thing)

I think he’d still deliver them in a blunt manner but that’s how you know he’s sincere!

You two would just be chilling at his place and you’d do something simple like, ask how much water he’s drank today or play with his hair and tell him he shouldn’t overwork himself and he’d just look at you so seriously and be like, “I really appreciate you, you know that?”

And it’d be sort of deadpan but like !!!

And he’d just kiss your hand after - always the palm - and then he’d just press his cheek into your hand before kissing it one more time and moving on like that literally just didn’t happen KENMA KING OF HAND KISSES

Okok moving on before I get stuck on his hands again anskdkdksiaj

So we don’t talk about himbo Kenma enough!!!! Like ok

He’s NOT big and ripped like ya know Bokuto and he seems super smart but I’m telling you this man is a quiet clueless himbo ‼️

You can’t tell me you’d be talking on and on about biology or something and he’d just have this little lost look in his eye while he’s nodding along and smiling softly listening to you talk and you’re like ,,??

“Wait, do you even understand what I’m saying?”

And he’d really just be like no :)

“but your eyes are really pretty and I like watching your lips move while you talk :) (this man is also a king of innocent flirting and you can’t tell me otherwise!!!)

OMG and if you’re even the slightest bit flustered by his comment he WILL notice and he’ll do his best to hide his sly little smile and just grab one of your hands and squeeze it and be like, “keep going, I’m listening”

KENMA HIMBO NATION RISE

Ok ALSO you two would literally just be such a pretty couple? Just like so pleasing to look at????? Like you’re both so pretty it’s unfair! And your style OMG

Like you’re just so soft like the epitome of 🦋✨👼☁️☺️ girl and 🎮🎱🖤👾🌙 boy ykwim???

and his long hair PLS Kenma man bun supremacy 🙌🏼

I can’t stress enough how pretty you two would be it would just make sense seeing you two together ugh

UGH you dying Kenmas hair for him?? And he’d just sit cross legged in a chair while you do it and he keeps leaning and moving to wherever you are around him cause your hands are in his hair and it’s so soothing!! What’s he supposed to do??

“Kenma, stay still you’re gonna bet bleach on my shirt!”

“But didn’t you wear that in case bleach did get on it?”

“Kenma-“

“I’m just saying if that’s the case then I don’t understand why I can’t hug you while you bleach my hair? 🤨”

“😐”

“Ok so-“

“Kenma.”

“😒”

Yeah queue pouty Kenma acting indifferent 🙄✋🏼

Just give him a kiss on his nose and he’ll get over it even though he’ll feign his grumpiness to get treated like a baby a little bit longer

UGH PLS I GOTTA STOP I COULD GO ON FOREVER

Bottom line, Kenma’s your quiet little himbo and you’re his loud soft girlfriend, and it’s one of the most adorable things ever

Ok, so we’re finally to what you came for LMAO, your playlist!

OKOK so similar to the first one I made, there’s no theme besides music taste so I tried to make this like a soundtrack of your guys relationship if that makes sense?

I really hope you enjoy and please let me know if you need any changes or would like to be paired up with someone else 🖤‼️ Without further ado, your songs and explanations!

1. Siren - Kailee Morgue: ok I think this one still kind of fits the vibe you’re looking for but you can’t tell me Kenma didn’t see you as some bewitching vixen who’s caught his attention LMAO like he’s just like 👁👄👁 she’s so pretty and entrancing help me! and he’d try to be like haha I’m cool I’m cool I’m fine 😎🥴😎 but it’s so obvious he likes you too (you’d kind of be able to tell with the way he looks at you and how it took so long for the blush to leave his neck and ears whenever he’d talk to you) but he just really decides he has no choice in the matter, he wants you so bad LMAO

2. Juice - iyla: more off the first one, the way you just appeared into Kenmas life LMAO like he saw you and just 😳🥴😍‼️ and once he started to feel real feelings he’d be so 🏃‍♂️💨 WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE COME FROM??? But he wants you so BAD he can’t do anything about it, and now not only does he just want you 😳 but he wants you and he wants to be yours , pls he has it hard

3. See You Again (feat. Kali Uchis) - Tyler, The Creator: ok this is like THE song to your guys relationship just UGH I know you two would have such pining. Kenma would DEFINITELY be nervous to even talk to you at first cause he’s definitely like 🥴 she’s prettt hhng and he’s so shy and you just have such HEART EYES over him and you don’t even hide it that well LMAO (“it’s them rose colored cheeks yeah it’s them dirt colored eyes 😔😩”- u @ him) and it just makes him so NERVOUS!! But you two would definitely dance around it for a bit like you’d just be so 😍‼️ He’s pretty and shy hehe I like him gimme gimme 😍 and he’d be so flustered by it at first until you guys FINALLY get over yourselves (when kenma stops being a baby LMAO) like you guys jus wanna kiss so bad and literally everyone’s like JUST FUCKING DO IT, SHIT it’s adorable really

4. Doves In The Wind (feat. Kendrick Lamar) - SZA: ok I know this song is kinda saucy an idk if it’s overplayed but listen YOU CANT TELL ME THIS ISNT KENMAS FUCKING ANTHEM!! like he jus absolutely jams to this song definitely a sza stan and loves playing vibey music like hers during his gaming sessions but like the way he would worship the ground you walk on and be like mf im HERS do not get it twisted, in no way does she belong to me buT THE WAY I BELONG TO HER WHEW ‼️

5. Moment - Victoria Monét: ok why do I feel like most of the songs I added on here are vaguely steamy LMAO but ok this song? Yeah whew 💨 this is definitely one of those songs that play while you two would be lazily making out with those little led lights on (you just know kenma has those) and you two would just be laying there and know this is one of those moments you guys are never gonna forget. Your hands are just roaming and caressing each other while your lips are locked and you guys are so breathless and it’s just wow, you guys must have manifested each other cause this moment is so perfect between you two. And even though it’s a little sloppy it’s so intimate and you both feel like you’re living in a dream. messy hair flushed Kenma whos breathing heavy? Yeah I think so

6. Deep Cuts - Healy: Kenma is always trying his hardest to be the best he can when he loves something. We know this we’ve all seen him and Tora when it comes to volleyball and the way he gets with Hinata. And this wouldn’t change when it comes to your guys relationship, he is constantly going to be putting in his best effort to get to know you better, be the best boyfriend he can be to you and make you feel as loved as he can. He’s memorized everything there is to know about you and sometimes he gets lost in that and it makes him insecure about himself from his overthinking (you can’t tell me he’s not a chronic overthinker) and he’d forget to just enjoy himself sometimes. Like Kenma stop stressing, you can relax when you hold her hand. But he’d reach this point with you when he’d probably be being a bit difficult and you’d just make him feel so loved. He had been overworking himself again, which you HATED. You could tell from the bags under his eyes and the way his hair was messily pulled back into a low bun and the way the neckline of his hoodie showed he wasn’t even wearing a shirt underneath. But it was date night!! So what if he was tired and overworked quality time is important to you!!! I mean, that’s what he’s thinking. But you would just pull him into a hug and kiss his forehead and start to undress into comfy clothes and he’d be so confused like ?? Uhm, date night?? And you’d just pull him to your shared bed by his sleeve and under the covers and into your arms while you just kissed the top of his head. You’d take his hair out of his bun and run your fingers through it getting rid of some of the tangles and just be so CARING to him. “Let’s just stay in, you’re tired and I’d rather lay with you while you get some sleep, we can always go out another time.” Yeah he’s in love that’s it ‼️ you make him feel like he’s exactly enough for you as he is and that’s all he wants pls tbis is so long and for what??? Like this could be a Drabble in itself??? Anyways

7. Easy - DaniLeigh: you guys are definitely an exclusive couple but you really show Kenma what it means to just take it slow and relax! After the date night (deep cuts) he knows it’s ok to just relax into your guys love and he doesn’t have to force or rush anything cause it all comes naturally. Secondly , the WAY THIS BOY MAKES YOU FEEL - he just always looks at you with these deep eyes that hold so much love and it makes you feel so exposed every time cause he just loves you so much and it’s so intense l. It makes your face heat up cause he so clearly thinks your perfect. Also, this just gives total late night ride vibes. Kenma would definitely be driving on the freeway and this song comes on and he just places his hand on your thigh while he’s driving and he’s humming along to this song and he can feel you staring at him so he just casts you a quick side glance and goes “hmmm?” And you’re like 👁👄👁 nothing (Kenma is the king of late night car ride music fr)

8. CPR - Summer Walker: ok I don’t even need to explain myself with this one, the song is so self explanatory! You just make each other feel so at home. Point blank ‼️ like Kenma will just think back like 😇 where would I be without this bitch the thought makes him truly sad and he likes to avoid it at all costs

9. Rain - Lucy Park: pls this song is so soft (I hope it fits the vibe ahhh!!) but this is just more of kenma being an absolute softy for you LMAO. He’s not very good at taking care of himself sometimes and you’re always there to be like 😡‼️ NO‼️ and it makes him so soft he can’t help it, it’s not that he does it on purpose cause that’s insane but the fact you know his limits when even he doesn’t sometimes blows his mind and he’s never felt more loved than in those moments (let’s bring up Deep Cuts again 🙄✋🏼 pls this boy just needs someone soft to put him in his place LOL)

10. moonlight - dhruv: ok but when Kenma knows he’s in love with you, he has to tell you. And what better way to tell you than, well, tell you. He’d definitely try to plan it in his head to be perfect like ok what’s her favorite place? Where’d we first meet? Should I tell her there? Should our song be playing in the background? Kenma, your himbo and over thinker tendencies are showing, just tell her already! It’d be early in the morning, and you two are making breakfast together while he’s listening to you ramble on about the recent events of your favorite show and he’s just smiling and nodding, doing his best to recall the other plot points that have happened. And you, distracted with your ranting, go to take a bite of your freshly made breakfast- which is still scalding hot. You IMMEDIATELY start panting and drop your fork, running over to the faucet and shoving your head under it doing your best to soothe your mouth with the cold water. And Kenma feels awful, but this is fucking hilarious. So sure he’s holding your hair back so you can really get that water but he’s dying in the process. Almost keeled over and gripping at his stomach type laughter and you’re swatting at him to no avail and he just can’t help himself, “oh, fuck I love you.” He said it between his gasps of air from laughing and didn’t even realize it. Not until you stood up fully with water still dripping off your chin just looking at him. This idiot immediately started apologizing like omg this isn’t how I wanted to say it ahhhh but you assure him this was perfect, and that you love him too (pls love this man he can’t help but love you too)

11. Easily - Bruno Major: does this count as angst? ok call back to Kenma being an overthinker who overworks himself and probably overlooks his own needs at times, there’s bound to be some tension between you two at times. You’re concerned about his health and he insists he’s fine but you know he’s not, and while I don’t ever see him blowing up on you I could see little arguments about his self-care habits. Sometimes he stays up too late, or he’s stressing himself over something that doesn’t need that much thought! Regardless, he knows you just love him and he does the same thing for you and he just needs to get better at not being so stubborn when it comes to taking care of himself. And he just hopes that you know he loves you and appreciates what you do for him even though it doesn’t seem like it all the time, and that hopefully you won’t give up on him.

12. Streets - Doja Cat: ok I added this one mainly for the vibes but like you can’t tell me Kenma isn’t pined over in university LMAO. Like he’s pretty and polite but also indifferent, mentally ill bitches eat that shit UP; and there’s PLENTY of those in university LMAO. And like you aren’t a toxic possessive person don’t worry but MAN he’s fighting these girls off with a stick at this point LMAO and he just doesn’t get it pls, like he’d definitely be the partner in an assignment who just comes prepared and is kind of quiet to a fault but is so nice and just gets his shit done. Would also offer a pencil if you forgot one and maybe I’m just a whore but that gets me everytime 😌

13. Kiss U Right Now - Duckwrth: ok mainly for the vibes but !!! You and Kenma in the kitchen cooking and this song comes on and he comes up behind you and turns you around and your faces are all close and he keeps singing “I think I wanna kiss u” and smirking but he’s just ghosting his lips over yours instead and moving his head back every time you try to kiss him and giggling before doing it all over again! giggly Kenma supremacy

14. Butterfly - UMI: ok we been talking about how much Kenma would be devoted to you, but like you wouldn’t be the same!!!! Kenma means so much to you and you do your best to show your care and all you wanna do is see him happy as much as he wants the same for you, omg you guys are so in love it’s gross 🤢

15. Pick Up Your Phone - Hojean: what more can I say!!! You guys just love each other and love spending as much time together as you can!! (I like ending these playlists with a really happy mood :) )

——————

Here it is! Thank you for being so patient and I really hope you like this! I always get nervous posting for my baby’s 🖤 love you cutie!

-🐇out

#haikyuu headcanons #haikyu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyu requests #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu playlist #haikyuu hcs #haikyuu kenma #kenma x y/n #kenma x you #kenma hcs #kenma kuzome #kozume kenma #kenma x reader #kenma playlist

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letfatewritethewords · 3 years

Text

I process things with art. I process with written words in the hopes that one day it can be spoken without my voice shaking. This week has been one for the books.. and I decided to share. This is long, but I want to remember what I’m learning.. how I’m processing.. if you decide to read, thank you. If not, this will still be here as a reminder of my progress every year.

I always tell people that there was no reason for my name, but it’s a lie. I’m named after Samantha on BeWitched. My grandfather loved that show and suggested it when my mother couldn’t decide. I was born in early September and that makes me a Virgo. Astrology is one of my favorite things. There’s something extraordinary about the idea that we’re connected to the universe by the positioning of the stars. Sometimes it’s so vague.. but other times, it’s right on the nose and my horoscopes will make me cry. Speaking of that, I’m an empath and a 2. When I’m unhealthy, I’m a 4 and If you know what any of that means, I’d love to talk to you more about it. Winter is my favorite season. Fall is a close second. I love the snow and how muted everything is. I like the quiet, the beauty. Sometimes, the light from the sun will shimmer off a fresh coat of snow on the ground. It is absolutely blinding, but I’d still stare, and when the snow fell at night, I’d watch it under the street light across from my house and it felt like time stood still. When I was little, I would lay in the yard full of snow, alone, in my puffy suite, until my fingers and toes would go numb from the cold, listening to the silence, but the best part of those days was going back into my grandparents house and warming up with hot coco made on the stove, wrapping myself in a soft blanket and watching old movies with my grandfather. To me, the Winter is magical. My love languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service. I’m an introvert but I love people. I like to observe, I like to really understand how the mind works and Im eager to help. I thrive in controlled chaos. I like puzzles, I love music, I like crafts, I like to fix things because grandpa always taught me that nothing is to broken to fix. Nothing. No one.

This is the light. This is the part of me that I give willingly to anyone I meet. I wear it on my sleeve. It’s only the light. Until the last 2 years.. this was all I could give of myself because I’ve always been scared of the dark.

The darkest part of me lasted 8 years, my rock bottom lasted 4.5, but as a whole it’s taken up almost 12 years of my life. Sometimes I worry that all I'm ever going to be is this thing that happened to me. That this will define me for the rest of my life and I need to remind myself that I’m a person that can live separate from an event.

I went to the police station this week, I filled out more forms. I’ve filled out so many forms over the last 2 years. For an emergency restraining order this time. For Florida this time. I knew it would eventually follow me here but typhus felt too soon. The clerk called me brave. I smile and thank them every time but I never know how to respond to that. She has no idea how weak it feels and I mean.. how could she. This is the right choice, the obvious choice, the smart choice. In a different situation, it’s one of the many steps I’d be urging someone else to take. In all the chaos, all the hurt, in all the anger and sadness.. it always circles back to “I loved him”. I did. I wanted to fix him. I wanted to see him grow and heal and if I loved him hard enough for the both of us, it would’ve evened out eventually… right?

I failed.

He was always who he was, but I was young and naive and ready to fix the whole world. When I was 18 and we were free, I would’ve told you he saved me. Now that I’m in my 30’s… and he’s in prison and I’m in limbo.. I don’t know what I’d tell you. He didn’t save me, but he didn’t destroy me either. I had every opportunity to tap out and give up.. but I grew into a person I might not have been if I never met him.

Am I angry? All of the time.

Am I scared? Yes.

I see things more clearly now though. People talk about how you never know someone’s story, and that’s because we are experts at playing pretend like we have it all figured out until we’re alone and have to face truest selves. The facade is the hardest thing to give up. Some people saw through mine and there are others, who have built their own, that never will. I share posts about what I’ve learned, how I see people, how I’ve try to treat people with grace and teach children with love and patience in hopes that a little of that sinks into whoever it reaches, but I very rarely show the journey. Partly because I know the details are gruesome and that’s not for everyone, but mostly because I’m scared.

How will you see me?

What will you think?

I’m learning that I’m not this big awful thing that happened to me. I was never anyone’s property and I’m not chained to it anymore. I was very much lied to and manipulated and hurt long enough that it flipped onto me and I carried it without missing a step. I wanted to love him so much that I would heal him. Instead, he “loved” me so much it almost killed me, and he did call it love. Enough times that he re-defined it and I didn’t use that word for a very long time in any meaningful situation. He, for better or for worse, drastically changed the trajectory of my life.

But it’s ok.

I’m wounded but I’m healing. I’m lonely, but I’m learning how to slowly welcome more people in and step out of my comfort zone. If I’m being honest, I’m relearning a lot of things, including how to exist in a world where I have room to make mistakes and fail. I can say or do the wrong thing and be gently corrected for it by my people and move on … sans violence. There are no words for amount of relief I feel because of that truth.

Is it over? No.

He was sentenced to 7 years last year and every year around mid July early August there is an opportunity to apply for an appeal based on his behavior, which will always be immaculate because he is not as tough as he thinks he is. This means that if he applies and it goes to trial, I’m also notified and have to reappear, show any new evidence, and reexplain why he needs to stay there for the safety of others and myself. Telling my story once a year on a whim to a room full of strangers, always men, so they can decide my fate, as well as the fate of this “upstanding young man with a good head on his shoulders” (actual words used during my initial rape/domestic abuse trial against him), was never what I imagined finally turning him in would look like. I really never thought that after everything, his sentence wouldn’t even be as long as our relationship. The original sentence was 5 years. After he got out on a Governor Cuomo Covid related prison loophole and broke his parole almost immediately, he was sentenced to another 2 on top of that. He has 6 left. We talk about how flawed our system is, but really seeing it is a different kind of punch. Women aren’t believed. There’s a reason so many of these crimes go unreported, and why so many women die at the hands of angry men. The hoops you have to jump through are miles high and on fire, and when you and the advocate show up armed only with your truth, your tears and a little evidence from one night at a bar when he got to drunk and forgot he was in public, it’s very easy for a judge to rule on the softer side. Because, as you all know, we’d never want to ruin a wealthy mans life unless there’s cold, hard, reason to.

Seeing his face when they read out his sentence, after years of terror, was satisfying to say the least and if I hadn’t been so numb to get through the hearing, I would’ve enjoyed it more. I will never forget going to a trusted friends house after that hearing and being completely overwhelmed with all of the emotions. Relief, guilt, sadness, anger, happiness, fear.. so many I couldn’t express.. all at once because the novocain wears off and numb isn’t forever and I fell asleep with their dog after a lot of crying. I’d be lying though if I said that 18 year old in me didn’t feel a loss. I grew up with incredible grandparents that did amazing things in teaching me how to love people and be a good human, but no one can protect us from everything. I also grew up with a mother who fights demons of her own and never had the capacity to love two kids. In a situation like that, someone becomes the punching bag. I became the punching bag and desperately looked for ways out, an opportunity to run.. and I ran right into him, who accepted me with open arms for the first time in my young, very inexperienced life.. and I followed him blindly and he was my whole world. Until I was 27, I didn’t have a guide. By the grace of God I landed into a community in Florida that slowly helped me realize my worth.

So.. what now.

How do we fix what our parents and past broke?

How do you reparent yourself?

The mental health journey is proving to be my biggest struggle yet. There’s no more outside factors, it’s just me and the lies that have fed me for years and altered how I think and feel and understand the world. I can feel myself frustrating people I’ve let close to me. I feel myself getting nervous and pushing people away. Sometimes I can catch it and regroup, other times that nasty little voice is too loud and I’m exhausted. My goodness though, how cool is it to learn so much about yourself? I know I have the capacity to love that broken part of me eventually, but it’s still hard to face. Getting to learn and understand the reason behind your actions is terrifyingly amazing. I am proud of this journey. Even when I don’t always come up on top. It’s hard to see the progress while you’re in it, but laying it all out like this.. I can safely say I’m never going to be that 18 year old girl ever again. Some days this journey looks different, some days the darkness wins, because healing isn’t linear. Sometimes it’s one step forward, 2 steps back… but nothing is too broken to fix.. and I will never call that darkness home again.

#lonliness #abuse survivor #survivor #domestic violent relationships #domestic violence #processing

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mischiefandi · 4 years

Text

A Shitty Love Song (Part 1) - Stiles Stilinski

Wild Ones

A/N: hey everyone! this has been a long time coming! thank you for lovely comments on my previous post, im super happy to finally be posting this. a HUGE thank you to @duskholland for helping me out so much with this series, ily to death bitch. enjoyy yall

Summary: Y/N is a 17 year old girl who struggles in an epic battle against herself. Whether it is amor’s icy grasp or life’s unexpected course that forces her to finally open up, only one thing is certain. The truth cannot be long hidden.

Warnings: underage drinking, party times, maybe a couple of swear words but im not sure haha

Word Count: 5,3K

Pairing: Stiles Stilinski x Reader (Y/N)

Series Masterlist

(picture is not mine -> credits to @ pechka on unsplash)

Seasons before, in the early fall where the leaves don’t yet want to leave their wooden hooks, Y/N had just started her junior year of high school. Being the new girl in school, she was afraid of being alone - something she had always been - but not this year. Whether it was chance or fate, she happened to fall upon a curious but wonderful group of people who quickly became her friends.

At its center, Scott McCall, young lacrosse player with a boyish charm and a heart of gold and by his side, Stiles Stilinski, an eccentric and spirited young man. Surrounding them were Lydia Martin, the fiery and confident genius, the sweet yet lethal huntress, Allison Argent, and finally Isaac Lahey, charming Mr Mischief himself.

This pack of wild cards had found a new companion, and Y/N fit in like a puzzle piece filling in its designated spot. She got along with everyone in the group, forming indestructible friendships with these eccentric teenagers, and she felt fortunate beyond belief. More often than not, she would eat with them by the walnut tree outside of the school. The group would share stories and food, complaining about the soporific lessons from the earlier period, or excitedly planning the next outing, the next party. Every week, the teenagers would go hang out in the woods by the mystical ruins of the Hale House, doing more of the same. Life was light and good.

The group had planned on hanging out by the Hale House one quiet September afternoon, but the universe likes to play tricks, and somehow Y/N and Stiles were the only ones to show up. Deeming it a happy accident, the pair walked through the damp woods together, talking about their day and slowly letting each other in. Laughter echoed between the trees and the wind turned.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

A little more than a month had gone by and Halloween was just around the corner. Classes seemed longer than usual, bigger stacks of schoolwork forming daunting piles on Y/N’s desk. But school was the last thing she could think of when she got home after a long day of concentration. The only thing that mattered, was Stiles. Video calls, phone calls, and late night texts that seemed to never cease took over the second Y/N’s feet passed the threshold of her home. And nothing compared to these conversations.

“I’m sorry but no.”

“Stiles, stop, seriously.”

The mole-speckled boy lunged forward in front of the screen and passed a shaking hand through his spiky hair.

“There is no way you like the second trilogy better than the first one. It’s just not possible.”

“Well it is possible, because I do,” Y/N retorted, her unfazed expression gleaming back at him.

“Literally how? The group dynamic alone should make you see reason. I mean come on. Han and Leia? Han and Chewie? Han and Luke?”

“You do know Star Wars doesn’t exclusively revolve around Han Solo right?” she asked, her lips breaking into a smirk.

“First of all, no. Second, give me one single reason why the second trilogy is better than the first,” Stiles said, “I dare you.”

“One reason?”

The boy nodded, serious as a statue.

“Hayden Christensen.”

Stiles groaned deeply, his face buried in his large hands.

“Can’t even have a serious discussion about Star Wars with someone rational.”

“I’m not sorry.”

“You’re the worst.”

Y/N paused, holding a finger to her chin.

“Hmm, agree to disagree.”

“Son of a bitch.”

“Hey! How can we have an intelligent debate about anything if you use swearing as a last resort.”

“I have given up on us. It’s over.”

Y/N laughed profusely against her pillow, shaking her head.

“You’re a drama queen.”

“FRIENDSHIP OVER!” Stiles bellowed and Y/N shot her head back, unstoppable laughter erupting from her stomach.

“It’s going to make things awkward at the party, Friday,” Y/N said between chuckles, her laughter quieting down.

“Who said you were even invited,” replied Stiles, adjusting his shirt, revealing a tiny patch of skin just above his sweats. Y/N’s eyes flicked over to the screen but the second had passed.

“Funny. Listen, I gotta get some sleep otherwise I’ll pass out in math or something.”

“Yeah, I should probably also go to bed sometime soon.”

“Hopefully before tomorrow morning.”

“Har-har,” said Stiles, smiling at the camera, his chocolatey irises beaming at Y/N.

“Goodnight nerd.”

“Goodnight loser.”

Y/N stuck out her tongue at Stiles before hanging up the call.

That night, as she carefully brushed her teeth and got her clothes ready for the next day, Y/N thought back on her video call with Stiles, a warm smile spreading on her lips.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

The week passed so slowly, each hour lasting an exhausting eternity. School, demanding as ever, while keeping Y/N busy, was the reason why time seemed so lengthy. The nasty side-effect from tantalizing hours is the amount of thinking you do to keep busy. So Y/N did just that. She thought about how much she cared for her group of friends, she thought about the fact that she had never felt like she belonged like she did then.

She thought about how nice it was sitting by the Hale House, enjoying each others’ company, how life is so much lighter when you feel surrounded, how much she had learned about herself after meeting the pack. She thought about the band Stiles and her liked so much. She thought about Star Wars. She thought about the sound her computer made when Stiles sent her a message. She thought of his hair, his moles, his neck. She thought about how thrilling it was when he sat next to her. She thought about how much he mattered in her life, just like the others mattered too.

Y/N did so much thinking that week. But the funny thing is, amor has a way of tricking your mind. Your body believes one thing but your mind has been bewitched, and no amount of thinking you do can remove the fog clouding over your eyes.

When came Friday, Y/N was happy to be done with school, bursting through the doors of the establishment, excited to go home and get ready for Danny’s Blackout Party. She was thrilled about going, however nervous she felt.

She had never been to a party like Danny’s rave before and she had no idea what to expect. But more importantly, she was afraid of crowds. She had tried going out to packed bars with people from her old school, but the chaos and the drunks surrounding her made her feel beyond uneasy.

“Y/N! Wait up!” She heard Allison exclaim, and she slowed down her pace, allowing the brunette to catch up with her.

“Are you excited for tonight?” asked Allison, her light brown eyes gleaming brightly.

“Yeah, it’s gonna be...crazy.”

“You okay?”

Y/N forced a smile and nodded overenthusiastically.

“Yeah! Just tired. It was a long day,” she replied.

“Same here, which is why, we need to let loose tonight! Let’s get ready at Lydia’s, so we can all head over there together.”

“Sure. Quick question though, how did Lydia get us invited in the first place?”

Allison giggled, nodding her head towards Aiden and Ethan standing by their motorcycles.

“How do you think?”

The girl’s laughter echoed through the cool autumn air and disappeared with their cars. It was going to be a night to remember.

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

As Y/N and Allison reached Lydia’s house, Y/N couldn’t help but feel more and more anxious, tightly gripping her bag filled with clothes and makeup. The party was starting to worry her.

People had been whispering about it all day back at the high school, talking about the numerous illicit drinks that would be served and the intriguing entertainment. It seemed like the Danny had gone all out for Halloween. Still, not knowing exactly what to expect practically terrified Y/N.

She was outgoing, but big crowds and chaos were things that made panic bubble up inside of her very core, quickening her heartbeat to a frightening extent. She loved dancing and partying, and much like other people her age, she loved a good drink every once in a while, but huge events and big blowouts, she had never been a fan of.

Putting on a brave face, Y/N shut the car door and walked up the stairs to Lydia’s front porch, ringing the doorbell as Allison locked the car. After what seemed like mere seconds, Lydia opened the door, letting the excited girls in.

“Finally. I thought I was going to have to get going without you,” she said, smirking at the pair.

“Y/N couldn’t decide what to wear,” replied Allison, sending Y/N a look that made Lydia scoff.

“Excuse me if I've never been to a neon-themed rave. How am I supposed to know what to wear?”

“Well the name of said rave could be a pretty good indicator,” mocked Lydia as the girls walked up to her bedroom, shutting the door behind them.

“Ali, what are you wearing?”

Allison giggled with a smirk and did a demonstrative twirl, showing off her burgundy flannel shirt and black jeans.

“This!”

Lydia raised her eyebrows at the brunette, a confused expression etched on her face.

“Am I the only one here who understands the term “neon”?” she asked.

Allison shook her head then slowly unbuttoned her shirt, revealing a neon pink bra.

Y/N laughed, shaking her head. This stunt was definitely orchestrated for someone special.

“Wow. Isaac will love it.”

“It’s about time you two did something about your situation,” joked Lydia, reaching for an eyelash curler.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” replied Allison with an innocent shrug and a slightly less innocent wink.

“Well now that Allison’s outfit is sorted, it’s your turn, Y/N. Let’s see what’s in this enormous bag of yours.”

The strawberry blonde bent down and grabbed Y/N’s bag before she could say anything, emptying its contents in a flash.

“No, no, definitely not, no…Y/N, why are all of these clothes black?” inquired Lydia, with a look of disgust she had difficulty hiding.

“Lyds, I told you, I don’t know what to wear to a rave.”

“Show me your bra.”

“What?”

“Show me your bra. If it’s the right colour, we can just pair it with some of my clothes.”

Y/N reluctantly removed her white shirt, revealing an electric blue floral lace bra, much to Lydia’s delight. Allison whistled approvingly.

“Okay here’s what we’re gonna do.” Lydia walked over to her closet, carefully studying its contents. Allison and Y/N exchanged a glance as Lydia clapped her hands together.

“This goes with this, and you have to tuck it in, like so,” she said, “okay, try this on. Now.”

Y/N looked down at the outfit her friend had put together.

“Yes ma’am,” she mumbled, her face as white as a sheet.

Y/N walked to the corner of the room as the girls chatted and finished getting ready. Her heart thundered as she passed her neck through the bottom of the sheer black top Lydia had handed to her. Looking herself in the mirror, all she could see was a blushing dishevelled mess. Her bra covered most of her chest, but the curves of her breasts were only slightly hidden by the black mesh material she was wearing.

“Okay, this is okay…” she muttered to herself, trying not to panic.

Bending down, she grabbed the black layered skirt she had brought with her and brought it up to her hips, tucking the top inside. The skirt helped balance out the outfit, but still Y/N wasn��t fully convinced.

“How are you feeling?”

“Kind of nervous honestly.”

“I meant how do you feel about the outfit- but you’re nervous? Why?” asked Lydia, walking over to Y/N in front of the full-length mirror.

“It’s just- I’ve never been to a big party like tonight, much less looking like…this,” Y/N reluctantly replied.

Lydia bit her lip and sucked in some air before smiling widely at Y/N and taking a step forward.

“By “looking like this” I hope you mean by looking incredible. Y/N, look at yourself. You’re tall and confident, the outfit looks amazing on you. Your look is not the problem,” she said, gently.

“Then what is?”

“You tell us,” replied Allison, walking over to the girls by the mirror.

Y/N exhaled deeply and turned around to face her friends.

“I hate crowds. I love partying don’t get me wrong, I just- I get really really panicky around big crowds of people. The noise, the warmth, all of it, just terrifies me. I’m worried that I’ll hate it and freak out or something. I’m sorry, I probably should have said something before.”

As soon as the daunting words had slipped through her lips, Y/N felt a weight lift from her weary shoulders, a wave of relief passing over her entire body.

“Hey, it’s okay. Everyone’s got something they’re uncomfortable with. It’s nothing to be ashamed of,” said Allison, sweetly.

“I know, it’s not that I’m ashamed, I just- didn’t wanna be a downer. I really am excited for tonight! I’m just nervous.”

Lydia placed her hands on Y/N’s shoulders and smiled brightly.

“Look, you’re gorgeous right now. Even without my help, you’re gorgeous. And tonight, we’ll be around the whole time. If you feel freaked out or you start to panic, we’ll go outside and get some fresh air. We don’t mind.”

“Exactly, we’re your friends. You know you can depend on us on occasion,” Allison joked and Y/N laughed, shaking her head timidly.

“Seriously, Y/N, we’re gonna have a ton of fun tonight. And if you need anything, whatsoever, we’re both here,” added Lydia.

Y/N’s heart swelled and she felt her eyes filling slowly. Blinking the impending tears away, she smiled widely, her radiant eyes following suite.

“Thank you, both of you. You’re the best.”

“Agreed. Now, that’s sorted. Are you comfortable with the outfit?” asked Lydia.

Y/N looked at herself in the mirror, analyzing every detail of her figure, taking in how “out there” the outfit was. After a few seconds, she nodded to herself and smiled.

“You know what? You only live once.”

Allison giggled and rested her arms on Y/N’s shoulder.

“Tonight is going to be amazing!”

🌙🌙🌙🌙🌙

As Lydia’s car pulled into the parking lot in front of the venue - a large concrete building comparable to a construction site - Y/N sent a text to her friend.

Y/N: we just got to danny’s party

Y/N: u guys here?

The girls looked up at the windows on the top level, the neon lights shining through catching their attention, the music already reaching their ears.

The group excitedly entered the building, Y/N’s heart thundering against her ribcage. Allison noticed the worried look on her friend’s face and she slipped her hand in hers, sending her a warm smile. Y/N took a deep breath, and the three beautiful girls went into the otherwise empty elevator. On the way up, Y/N’s phone vibrated against her palm and she looked down at the screen.

Stiles: we aren’t there yet

Stiles: Scott needed to go get something

Y/N’s heart couldn’t help but sink a little. She had hoped the boys were going to be there already, though why, she couldn’t say. Her phone interrupted her thoughts again.

Scott: by smth, Stiles means someone

Scott: and by someone, he means Kira

Scott: also we’re late because of the jeep

Scott: ;)

Y/N chuckled and texted him back, Lydia and Allison sharing an inquisitive look.

Y/N: figures :))

“Who is that?” asked Allison as the elevator doors opened.

Y/N winced slightly and turned to Allison.

“It’s the boys. Scott was just telling me they picked up Kira…”

“Oh.”

Lydia looked from Allison to Y/N, and back, the awkwardness beyond tangible.

“Are you okay?” asked Y/N, worried that the news had killed the mood.

“Honestly? I don’t love the idea of partying with my ex and his new girlfriend, but we broke up three months ago. We’ve both moved on. Besides, I really like Isaac. I’m not gonna let this ruin my evening,” Allison answered, a soft smile on her lips.

“Allison has Isaac, Scott has Kira, Stiles- well I don’t know about Stiles. That leaves you and me, Y/N. You can help me avoid Aiden tonight,” said Lydia, straightening her dress.

“Aiden, as in, the guy you hooked up with who just so happens to be the guy who invited you to this rave?”

“Precisely.” Lydia walked away hurriedly, and the girls laughed, entering the venue.

The grey concrete in the hall was uncharacteristically bland compared to the other-worldly burst of colours inside of the venue. Neon blue, pink, orange, yellow, and green exploding in every direction, paired with blaring purple lights attached to the concrete beams above the dancefloor where what looked like at least 70 people were jumping up and down to the beat of Losing It by FISHER. Strands of white UV tubes hanging from the ceiling all around the dancefloor lit up every white item of clothing in the room, turning the pure colour into a bright purple.

This giant nebula of chaos and colour made Y/N’s blood pump ten times faster throughout her body. That or the the bass blasting through the giant speakers by the DJ. Either way, the thrill of it made Y/N shiver, her whole body completely frozen in place.

“This is crazy!” Allison gasped.

“Danny really went all out,” said Lydia, staring at the dancing figures in the center of the room.

Y/N’s phone buzzing woke her from her trance and she read the text.

Stiles: be there in about 20 minutes

Stiles: can’t wait to embarrass you on the dancefloor

Y/N: oof

“Let’s go get a drink,” Lydia urged, walking over to the large snack table with numerous bottles. Y/N read the labels and nodded, impressed by the wide range of drinks.

“Wow. Jack Daniels, vodka, a shitton of beer, wine coolers, rum, Jagermeister…Danny really did go all out.”

“Pass me a cup,” said Allison.

As the girls filled their glasses, Lydia eyed Y/N’s cup.

“Y/N, are you sure you want to start with a triple shot of vodka?”

“Yeah, it’s fine!” Y/N exclaimed, downing the drink before anyone could stop her and gasping as the strong liquid burned its way down her throat.

“Ohkay, take it easy,” said Allison, shooting a worried glance at Lydia.

“I’ve got it under control,” replied Y/N as she refilled her cup.

“Let’s go dance!”

Allison dragged the girls away from the table, walking over to the dancefloor. Y/N downed her second drink and nodded wearily.

“Yesss, let’s do this!”

The looming herd of party-goers, intimidating as it was, seemed a little less daunting now that Y/N was actually at the party.

“How bad could it be?” she thought to herself before treading through the mass, occasionally bumping against people energetically throwing their limbs around.

In the middle of the chaos, Allison stopped and started moving her hips in sync with the song, Lydia quickly following suit. Y/N bobbed her head along to the beat of the bass, her arms swinging awkwardly on either side of her body. Allison laughed and grabbed her friend’s arms forcing the movement to flow through Y/N’s limbs. Lydia busted up and down, moving her waist so naturally it seemed like she had been born for this very moment.

Closing her eyes, Y/N tried to focus on the music vibrating throughout her body, the memory of the colours surrounding her floating behind her eyelids. Allison sang along with the lyrics of the current song, shouting out the words as she moved from side to side. Y/N slowly started to lose herself to the music, letting go of her inhibitions, forgetting the world around her.

When the beat changed, her feet jumped up and down, as if they had a mind of their own. Her head felt heavy yet no thoughts crossed her mind. The music had gotten rid of all concentration, the only thing left was the bass flowing through her veins, making her entire body pulsate to the beat.

Beads of sweat trickled down Y/N’s neck as she kept dancing, her feet starting to ache with every jump. It had only been about fifteen minutes, but to the dancers, it seemed like a wonderful eternity. Finally, Lydia tapped on Y/N’s shoulder and shouted by her ear.

“Let’s do some body painting!”

Y/N nodded profusely, a wide smile on her lips.

“Ali went to dance with Isaac!” Lydia shouted as the pair pushed through the crowd.

“Where’s the paint?” shouted Y/N, trying to hear her own voice over the music and failing miserably.

“Over there!”

A tall blonde boy holding brushes with purple and pink tips smiled as the girls reached him, his charismatic grin turning Y/N’s cheeks bright red.

“What can I do for you ladies?” he asked, his pearly white teeth a bright purple as his grin widened.

“My friend over here needs a lot of paint. Emphasis on lot,”Lydia insisted.

Y/N shook her head, giggling stupidly.

“Not too much paint,” she said warmly.

The boy smiled with a wink.

“Let me worry about that.”

Y/N removed her mesh top, holding it with her right hand, patiently waiting for the boy to start painting across her chest and back. She shivered as she felt the cool wet tip of the brush meet her sweaty skin, sliding a few inches down, a thick stripe of paint spreading across her back. Y/N giggled at the cold feeling, the alcohol in her system reaching her head. She closed her eyes and bent her neck to the side as the boy continued his line up to her collarbone.

“What’s your name?” she heard him ask.

“What’s yours?” she chose to answer, smiling wickedly.

She heard him laugh as he started painting little dots up her back.

“Jeremy.”

“Nice to meet you, Jeremy.”

“You know most girls like a proper introduction before getting this close,” he said over the pulsating music, his breath fanning over Y/N’s neck as he painted small strokes down her shoulder. Y/N grinned mischievously.

“I’m not like most girls,” she teased as she turned to face him.

“No, I guess you’re not,” the boy replied, his eyes darting towards her lips and back up.

“I’m almost done with your body- I mean with the paint,” he said, shaking his head with a grin. Y/N giggled and stepped closer.

“I’m all yours…” she replied.

Jeremy’s deep blue eyes lingered on hers before focusing on her chest. Y/N thanked the universe that he wasn’t looking straight at her, otherwise he would have seen her cheeks fill with red for the second time. He delicately placed pink and orange dots up and down her chest, careful as to not stain her bra and she watched him, observing his concentration with admiration. Finally, he looked up, smiling at her.

“My masterpiece is done,” he declared, placing the paintbrush on the body paint stand.

Jeremy reached for a mirror and handed it to her. She admired the strands and dots painted across her body in a chaotic waltz, the hot purple and pink clashing against her skin. Looking up at him, she grinned widely.

“You’re talented,” she said.

“It’s easier when you have such a good canvas to work on…” he replied, sending her a look hot enough to melt her.

Momentarily remembering the outside world, she looked around and quickly realized Lydia wasn’t there anymore, probably off dancing or looking for Allison. Y/N turned back to Jeremy.

“I’m sorry, I should probably go check on my friends…” she said, biting her lip as she slipped her mesh shirt back on.

“Of course. Maybe later, we’ll bump into each other on the dance floor?” he replied, a nervous smile etched on his lips.

“Yeah, maybe.”

Y/N winked at him and walked away, trying her best to keep her cool.

“Well that was something.” She thought to herself, a wide grin planted on her face.

Looking around, she couldn’t find either of her friends, nor could she find Isaac. Slightly disappointed, Y/N walked over to the table and poured some vodka in an unused cup before knocking her head back, letting the burning liquid run down her throat.

She eyed the dancefloor and thought back on her previous conversation with Jeremy. She was beyond nervous. She’d never actually kissed a boy before. The opportunity just hadn’t ever presented itself. But now that she was here, feeling tipsy as ever, a few feet away from the cutest boy at the party, she couldn’t help but think, why not?

Wiping her sweaty palms on her skirt and downing her fourth - albeit, strong - drink of the night, she nodded to herself and walked over to the dancefloor.

As Five Hours blasted through the speakers, Y/N pushed her way through the sweaty crowd once again, making her way to the center of the dancefloor. Ignoring the world surrounding her, she closed her eyes and gave in to the music, feeling every beat of the song pulsate throughout her entire body.

Colours, flashing lights, the feeling of people’s skin against hers, her head spinning and swaying in every direction, it made her feel alive. As the last drop of the song reached its peak, Y/N jumped with the crowd, knocking her body against complete strangers, feeling the warm and sticky air fill her lungs with every breath.

The song Too Much by Curbi started to play and Y/N felt someone’s body against hers. Closing her eyes, she turned around and felt a pair of strong arms wrap around her waist. She sighed lightly, enjoying the feeling of her skin against the boy’s. His fingers treaded down her back, firmly settling just above her ass, holding her steady in a sea of bustling bodies.

She danced against him, turning around again, her back facing his front. Moving against his body, she felt his arms tighten around her, pulling her in. His hot breath fanned over her neck and she moaned slightly, squeezing his hand reassuringly.

Suddenly, time seemed to stand still when his lips lightly touched her warm skin. Y/N inhaled sharply, her eyes still shut. The only thing she could hear now was the sound of her heartbeat furiously thundering against her ribcage. Slowly caressing the boy’s arm, she allowed further access to her neckline, moaning loudly as she felt his feverish lips plant warm kisses on her neck, inching higher and higher. Y/N’s hands reached for his and she tugged them closer to her body, her hips still moving against him. His lips danced furiously across her neck, leaving dangerously beautiful marks on her skin.

The music seemed only to heighten her senses. Her legs almost gave out when she heard the boy groan lightly against her ear, her response, a small whine at the loss of contact with his lips. She turned around and tried to open her eyes, the bright lights bursting through the gap in her eyelids. Squinting at his face, trying as hard as possible not to lose herself to the music again, Y/N’s eyes caught a glimpse of the boy’s face.

Bright pink dashes stained his cupid’s bow and the right corner of his bottom lip, the paint from her neck helpless in the face of a passion like this one. Y/N’s eyes scanned the rest of his face and widened slightly when they met amber irises, warm and inviting and so familiar. Her fingers threaded through his damp dark brown hair, her brain trying to comprehend what was about to happen.

His chocolatey eyes looked deep into hers and he licked his lips slowly, the world around them fading. Y/N felt her vision blur as she inched closer to him, her nose picking up the scent of old leather and pine trees and rain. His lips lingered over hers and she felt a chill as her name echoed through the air.

“Y/N…”.

Their lips connected in a frenzied blur, sending sparks of pleasure throughout Y/N’s entire body and the chaos surrounding the pair completely swallowed them. His teeth slightly bit her bottom lip and she deepened the kiss, ardently giving in to his deliciously demanding mouth. Unable to control her body, she steadied herself against him, tugging at his shirt with one hand, the other cupping his face as he sucked on her delectable lips.

Their bodies so unbelievably close disappeared in the crowd of dancers, the whole world somehow a thousand miles away.

Time, a forgotten concept.

A/N: I seriously hope u enjoyed this!! if u did please reblog :)) (would be super helpful especially with tumblr acting up w the tags and all that) <3 part 2 coming soon!!

if you would like to be added to this series’ taglist, please send me an ask :)

If you would like to be added to my taglist(s), feel free to fill in this form

#stiles stilinski #Stiles Stilinski fanfiction #Stiles Stilinski x reader #Stiles Stilinski x reader insert #Stiles Stilinski fanfic #Stiles Stilinski series #teen wolf #v writes #<33 #eeeek #dylan o'brien

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voidselfshipp · 4 years

Text

Bewitching Eyes Pt2

♡part one♡

What a strange little kitten she was, she would often times sit on the floor or in a bench and play, why?why were these people worthy of her singing? Why were they allowed to be enchanted by her voice when no-one even compared to them?,it scaped Vegas comprehension it was beyond him.

But more so why she wasnt falling for his tricks,he knew how to make women swoon with one look,but she just...didnt do that.

Every pick up line,every compliment or gift she would humbly accept or just dont be afected by it.

And it was Driving him up the damn walls.

So here he was, sitting with her on a bench as mid-day hovered over them, listening to her voice while trying to understand his feelings for her.

He wanted to make things...for her,help her,he recognized that maybe he wasnt the only thing in the world now,she was part of his,and he desperatly wanted her to know it.

But how?that meant leaving his pride aside ,something he was not going to do,not in a million Years.

Jerico packed her bags and slowly Walked to the nearest restaurant.

--C can I h help you with s so something?-The words came out broken as Vega looked away in shame- t those bags s seem really h heavy

Jericos gaze softens and nodds --Of course...thats really nice of you -She hands him a couple of the stuff she was carrying-thank you

The Man is taken back at the sudden validation--S so this is what I have to do for you to pay attention to me? B be hum humble?

He was making a fool of himself , but he suddenly got close to her,the words hardly came out.

He just wanted for her to notice him so badly

--Hey now--she stopped suddenly dead in her tracks--vega I have no doubts that youre trying, and I get it,but truth is that I appreciate humbleness,a lot more than you think,so take it easy alright?,youre doing a great job so far--She leans in to kiss his mask right on his cheek--come on okay?im starving

The spaniard smiles widely and follows after her like a puppy.

After lunch they came back to the centre of the city,this time Vega wanted to make a difference and Joined with her while she sang.

They truly made a beautiful duo,and he started to feel better,happy, and warm.

A warmth his chest that could only mean one thing He Was In Love.

And how couldnt he be?that warm smile she served to him every day, that jokester attitude that made him laugh for hours on end, that empathy and those bewitching eyes that made him stare at her.

--Hey wanna come over to my place?-Jeri asked while fixing her jacket as a cold windblow hit the both of them-- its not too far

Vega perks up and nodds--Yes! I mean yes yes of course id like to

--lying its not your strenght Man...

She softly elbows him and giggles.

He sighs deeply in love as both Walked,he folded his arm,wich she took and like that both Walked to her appartment,that had a beautiful view of the city.

She leaves her things on the sofa before opening the Windows just a little bit.

Night Fell quickly,both Vega and jerico stay in silence while looking outside.

--Jerico?-The Man asks-can I.. confess something?

--Yeah sure...Whats up?

--Hmmr I...-he takes a deep breath before talking- I like you... a lot...Like...a lot,I want you to be mine , w would you accept?

The woman looks at her male companion who feared the worst in the moment she opened her mouth to speak--Oh Vega.. god knows id love to...but I need one thing only

--Be humble?I can manage that!someone as perfect as me can--

She takes his hands and puts them near her speeding heart-aside from that silly,I need you to tell me the truth okay?thats all

--The truth about what?

--I just need you to be transparent with me

He looks away and sighs--Would you even love me if I told you the horrible things I did?or what I do with my life?

--Id appreciate the fact that you would Open up ,but of course I would....

Tears form on the corners of his eyes as he pulls her closer to him,she hugs him tightly as he cries inconsolably.

--Vega whatever you do its fine,you dont have to tell me right now...do it when you feel comfortable

The Man nodds and takes his mask off,pulling her into a kiss,slow and romantic kiss filled with salty tears.

--Come on now Playboy -Jerico wipes away his tears with her hand as he presses his forehead to hers--am I worthy of seeing your beautiful smile?

--of course you are!what kind nonsese --

--then smile,for me?

The Man nodds and pulls a small smile,that widens as soon as she kisses him again.

Jeri falls over him and hugs him tightly.

--I love you jerico

He whispered,hours after his breakdown.

--I do too...

A storm would rage when he'll tell her who he really is,so now he was enjoying this peace,yet Something made him feel sure that everything would turn out fine in the end.

He Will make sure of that.

[...]

The end!!

@self-shippin-shipper

#f/o community #f/o #romantic f/o #f/o x s/i #my f/os #self shipping #self insert #self ship #f/os #f/o tag #f/o fic #villain f/o #vega

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fieldfullofbangtan · 5 years

Text

bts hc: as wizards

you can thank sims 4 realm of magic and the fact that my hair is now ~pastel pink~ for this magical mess. it was super nostalgic researching harry potter spells and charms and now i really want to rewatch the entire harry potter series.

made it long because i feel like i’ve left yall on read for a while :p

(credit to this person on Amino that wrote an awesome post about the members and their wands/patronuses!)

Seokjin

griffindor

patronus: mink

wand: mahogany

clever and funny

he’s brave but also kinda a wuss

the ghosts just roaming about the school terrify him

plus HAVE YOU SEEN THE SIZE OF THE SPIDERS OUT THERE?

truly is the eomma of all the griffindors

mostly learns spells that improve his looks and lifestyle

pimples? PFFT.

hasn’t showered in 4 days? boi still smells like a field of roses

what even is expelliarmus?

would turn himself into a flower first chance he gets

“this is my true form”

queue the rest of the members putting him in a cupboard and just leaving him there

cleans up everybody’s messes

the type of wizard that uses Lumos to get good lighting for a selfie

will prefer home cooked food over this magical crap any day

“wtf is this.”

“chocolate frogs!”

“... YOU CALL THIS FOOD?”

Namjoon

griffindor

patronus: magpie

wand: fir

intelligent and a strong leader

fir wands demand strength and power from their owners

a total klutz but he has jin that can save him

also the spell reparo comes in handy A LOT

his clumsiness becomes life threatening when magic is involved

“Incendio! OH SHIT”

“WTF WHY WOULD YOU LIGHT ME ON FIRE MAN?”

“Sorry Jin I was just trying to make you stay still!”

“THATS IMMOBULUS YOU DUMBASS”

woopsie indeed

not permitted to ride his broom anymore

last time he almost killed himself and four others

everybody loves him anyways

especially the teachers because he’s a teachers pet

it’s not his fault he’s a genius

who occasionally sets his friends on fire

potion-making will likely end badly

cut him some slack k

he has a lot on his plate

(can i just say how much i love this account and their art, please check them out)

Yoongi

slytherin

patronus: buzzard

wand: vine

sly mf

introverted but can be super talkative if he wants something

cold exterior but has a warm heart

always trying to better himself

that trait doesn’t really go hand in hand with his love for sleep

will use the bewitched sleep charm on himself

and the protego spell to keep people away from him

“hey hyung”

“im sleeping”

“but hyung-”

“Flipendo”

*jimin flies across the fkn room*

“i said im sleeping”

he’ll kiss his head sorry later don’t worry

arrives 10 minutes late on the dot to every class

doesn’t fail them tho

secretly nerdy cuz he reads a lot

also acts tough but gets scared easy

defense against the dark arts class is the worst for him

hard shell but a true softie on the inside

Hoseok

hufflepuff

patronus: polecat

wand: dogwood

needs to be saved

the talking paintings have it in for him

they’ll pose perfectly still until he walks past and they’ll scare the shit out of him

waves around his wand and yells ‘Riddikulus’ at anything mildly unnerving

he’s an angel tho

a true hufflepuff

knows everyone in school

could burn the school down and nobody would be mad at him

you’d think his scaredy ass wouldn’t be a prankster

and you’d be wrong

he uses his magic for good and for evil

good as in he makes everyone around him happy

evil as in sometime he’ll use immobulus on his friends so that he can cuddle the shit out of them

gets in trouble thanks to his imbecile friends

“don’t worry hobi the forbidden forest is just a myth, its totally harmless”

*3 minutes later he fkn faints from seeing a normal sized spider*

“I TRUSTED YOU JUNGKOOK”

Jimin

slytherin

patronus: dapple gray stallion

wand: willow

sneaky but sweet slytherin

the kinda person who looks super sweet and innocent

but will wreck you in a duel

he’s a shy boy

until you get him out of his shell

or get him drunk

all the girls have the hots for him

some guys as well

maybe even one or two professors

though he will deny it until his last breath

a hard core perfectionist so he won’t be satisfied until his spells and potions are absolutely perfect

the one spell he knows perfectly is the healing spell

thanks to his friends because he has to use it on them constantly

Namjoon sprained his ankle falling down the stairs?

“episkey”

Jungkook got hit in the face with the Quaffle ball?

“episkey”

Hoseok fell off his broom?

“oh for fucks sake... episkey”

everyone would be hopeless without him

and injured

Taehyung

hufflepuff

patronus: chestnut mare

wand: hazel

a wonderful... mess

super lovable

makes everyone around him feel comfortable

doesn't shy away from his emotions

which is a great thing

until he gets angry and lights something on fire

or sad and casts a mute bubble around him so nobody can talk to him

or god forbid overly happy and energetic

he will wingardium leviosa the shit out of everyone and everything

“FLY MY FRIENDS FLY”

yoongi wont have it

“TAEHYUNG IF YOU DONT LET ME DOWN RIGHT NOW I WILL KILL YOU”

care of magical creatures is his favorite class

he has a weird bond with all the animals

he even talks to them as if they talk back and weirdly enough it seems like they understand

could probably befriend a dragon

definately the one in the group that has a toad for a pet companion

jungkook made him join quidditch

looking back it was a dumb idea

now he’s obsessed and would probably risk his life just to win

passionate boy

he truly is a blessing to the people around him

Jungkook

ravenclaw

patronus: black stallion

wand: hornbeam

smart

and athletic

and handsome

do i sense a true ravenclaw

always has to be right

super argumentative and competitive

“Im right you’re wrong shut up”

obviously undefeated at quidditch

and obviously the one who catches the golden snitch

has forced everyone except namjoon to play and it’s a mess

“Hoseok you have to get the ball through the rings not pass it to the opposite team”

“You have to actually fly around Yoongi you cant just be still”

“Ok I know I said tackling was allowed but you can’t grab onto someone elses broom Jimin”

he’s got a lot on his plate but he’s still having fun

only because he loves his hyungs

even though he’s pretty much talented at everything he’s still pretty grounded

super loyal to his friends and family

also has the dopest fkn owl

has the whole package pretty much

what hogwarts house are you? im a proud griffindor

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katzuyas · 5 years

Text

blood drips from the fingers of the hand that suddenly rips through the flesh of the man who was bout to cut yuuri’s head off with one clean swing of his sword, and yuuri can’t exactly say he minds this sudden development. there is a clean hole in the man’s chest when he’s discarded to the side like a piece of insignificant dust, but yuuri’s too busy gazing at the one who saved him to look closer at all the gore.

because before him stands the most handsome man he’s ever seen.

it’s part admiration, part disgust that stirs in yuuri’s belly as he watches the man lift his bloodied hand to his lips and suck his fingers clean. something very disturbing seems to be happening before his very eyes, and yet... and yet, yuuri feels himself bewitched to the point of staying there and watching.

“did I scare you?” the man asks, licking his hand clean much like a cat. a hell cat. one of those feral beasts that feast on rotten flesh and--

“um,” yuuri swallows. “no?”

he’s risking it, he thinks, but when he considers it closer, it’s not really a lie that he gives in reply. he’s only partially scared. everyone would be after someone tried to kill them, and yuuri’s fear stems from that alone, it looks like.

“oh?” the man cocks his head to the side. he looks at yuuri with bright blue eyes, which shine like gems and steal yuuri’s breath altogether. “so you aren’t scared of me?”

“should I be?” yuuri asks back, wondering where he gets the audacity to question a being who can rip through a human with enough ease as he just witnessed.

maybe it’s his close brush with death that’s given him the courage, or maybe it’s another feeling -- one of premonition of what’s to come -- that tells him his adventure into the land of the dead might not yet be far off, but yuuri finds strength in his limbs and lightness in his heart, so he stands.

and he looks the man in the eyes with no fear. “are you going to hurt me?”

the man seems to be as surprised at yuuri’s question as yuuri is at his own daring.

“hurt you? no!” he shakes his head and his silver hair flits about like spiderwebs on a light morning breeze. “why would you even think that? I’d never hurt you.”

“well,” yuuri clears his throat, looking to where the corpse of the man who tried to take his life has yet to chill. “that might have something to do with my question, but... if you aren’t here to hurt me... and you just saved me... then, how-- I mean, who are you? and why did you help me?”

the little breath that escapes from the man’s lips is much more hushed than a gasp. much more... disappointed, yuuri decides when he sees the crestfallen look on the man’s face.

“you don’t know,” comes the reply, and yuuri frowns.

of course he doesn’t? how could he--

“you called for me.”

“what?” yuuri blinks, surprised. “no, I didn’t. I would’ve known if--”

“but you did,” the man insists. “I wouldn’t be here otherwise. you called me, or, well, your soul did? when humans come close to death their souls resonate, you see, and some of you have the strength to call one of us.”

humans, yuuri’s mind repeats as it reels. one of us.

“who... who are you?” he repeats through trembling lips.

the man’s smile is a slow thing, and it’s beautiful. it’s beautiful, but all of his handsome face is. it’s in his eyes that the beauty ends, or maybe, maybe that’s where it truly begins, because his blue gaze glows with power that is darker than any yuuri has seen.

he shivers when the man steps up to him, almost jumps in unease when he kneels. yuuri’s hand is taken and brought up to those smiling lips. there’s blood stains on his skin now, too, from the leftovers of his almost-killer, and yuuri’s stomach turns when he feels a kiss pressed to the inner part of his wrist -- right where his pulse flutters like a bird trapped in a cage against its will.

“I am nothing but your loyal dog, my liege,” the man whispers.

his warm breath settles in the palm of yuuri’s hand, distracting, but not distracting enough.

“my what?” yuuri asks. his voice comes out broken, so he clears his throat, and says again: “I don’t understand. how...?”

“you called upon me,” the man explains. “and I answered your call. I am now yours to command until the day you inevitably die.”

“but I didn’t,” yuuri insists, this time harder. he shakes his head. “I couldn’t have.”

“whyever not?”

the man peers up at him. he looks so perfectly poised while he continues to kneel at yuuri’s feet that yuuri trembles within himself from how beautiful it makes him. he knows he shouldn’t, but... he was already set to die tonight and he didn’t. so maybe luck was on his side, after all. maybe... maybe enough of it to let him get away with even more.

he slips his hand away from the light grasp and bows over until he can take the man’s face in his hands and set their foreheads together in faux gentleness. and he knows it instantly when the man realizes the change in the atmosphere around them, for those brilliant blue eyes widen in surprise that is heavily meshed with awe -- the awe that somehow makes yuuri feel powerful, more so than usual.

powerful, and stupid.

it’s that feeling that makes his brown eyes glow red, and it’s that feeling, too, which has him give the silky whisper of truth that only sparse few have ever heard:

“because I have no soul to call you.”

the man’s breath comes fast and hard, but he hears the truth in yuuri’s words, sees it in his inhuman eyes. gently, he turns his head towards the corpse of what must have been his intended master, the one that called him and the one he should’ve served, and yuuri lets him. he lets go.

“oh dear,” the man says, yet his voice does not indicate much upset about the way things have turned out. “I guess... I made a mistake? now that is no fun. I will need to head back to hell then...”

he stands up, but... he doesn’t look like he’s in a hurry. in fact, he looks as if he wishes for a reason to stay. something to keep him here...

“before you go,” yuuri says before he thinks twice about it. “thank you for saving me. I would have died if he succeeded, so whatever trouble you’re in because of that, I feel like I should help you. so if you, well, that is, there is little I can do, but if you need a place to stay or to lie low for a while--”

“really?” the man blinks, and then breaks out into a smile so dazzling that yuuri feels the urge to shield his eyes. “could I stay with you then? I’m in no hurry to return, honestly. it’s so... dreary down there, you know.”

“but won’t you be in trouble if you don’t, I don’t know, report this? at least?”

the man shrugs. “they probably already know. besides, I’m glad I did what I did. I’d rather serve you than that pile of--”

“you don’t even know me,” yuuri tells him, a little amused, but mostly just too surprised at the turn of events to be fearful.

“but I’d like to know you,” the man replies easily. as easily as he slides up to him. as easily as he takes yuuri’s hand again, and as easily as he wraps his arm around yuuri’s waist almost in a parody of a dancing stance. “I’d very much like to know you... all of you.”

blood rushes to yuuri’s cheeks like it never has before, but even though the night is dark, he’s sure that this man can see it. he’s standing so close that he must, and yuuri knows it when he takes in the smile on his lips: a quirked, playful little thing that brings even more heat to yuuri’s face.

“how can I make a decision like that if you refuse to answer any of my questions,” yuuri says, but his protest is a feeble one. he already knows that he will not be able to resist this man’s charms. not now, not ever, most likely.

“then ask again, and I shall give you whatever it is you wish for.”

the man brings yuuri’s hand to his lips again, but this time he chooses to rest a kiss on yuuri’s knuckles instead of his wrist. if possible, it seems even more intimate than before, and yuuri’s heart beats double inside his chest.

“your name first,” he asks, unable to lift his eyes from where the man holds his hand in a grasp that is far gentler than yuuri would imagine. “and, who are you?”

“victor,” the man breathes. “my name is victor. and I’m a hellhound who answers the call of a human soul ready for eternal damnation. but, for you, I will be whoever you wish me to be--”

yuuri shakes his head as he looks up, right into his eyes. “no. you are who you are, and you will be who you decide to be. I have no right to change that, or ask it of you.”

victor’s surprise is clear, surely he hasn’t expected this. something in yuuri softens at the sight and it’s that same something that chooses to rest his trust in this man -- in victor -- whom he only just met, but whom he feels like he was supposed to meet all along.

“I’m yuuri,” yuuri says, and smiles when victor’s eyes meet his again. “yuuri of the katsuki clan. and I’m a vessel of the the squid god of hasetsu bay. my soul has already been claimed, but, with what little of myself there is left, I am pleased to make your acquaintance, victor.”

“oh, I assure you, yuuri,” victor chirps, sweet and playful, “the pleasure is all mine.”

he kisses yuuri’s hand again, yet this time his lips linger on yuuri’s skin just a bit longer while silver eyelashes flutter as victor closes his eyes. he breathes in deep, which makes yuuri flush all over again.

he quickly realizes why victor has done it, though. he’s a hellhound. he must have been familiarizing himself with yuuri’s scent, so that he could recognize it among the many others. and yet, once he figures it out, yuuri’s blush doesn’t go away. it only deepens, and deepens still when victor peers up at him with a gaze that is far more smitten than yuuri could ever hope it to be.

“you... um,” he bites his tongue from how fast he wants to speak, and needs to look away as embarrassment churns in his throat. yet, looking away from victor is harder than anything he’d ever done, and yuuri soon finds himself glancing his way again. “you said,” he tries again, “you said that you’d like to stay here, yes? if you still do, then my parents have an inn not far from here. we all live there, so if you--”

“I’d be honoured,” victor confesses, voice and eyes soft.

and yuuri, as he leads him by the hand which victor refuses to let go of, cannot deny that his heart feels oddly soft as well.

he was meant to die this night, but instead he has found himself with this strange man, who makes him feel strange things, and strangest of all? he has found himself trusting him, caring for him, and... before the cherry blossoms sprout their petals as spring takes her first steps, he finds himself loving him -- a hellhound from hell, who appeared in his life bloody, and who made all the blood in yuuri’s body run that much faster.

a hellhoud, a man, who showed him that even without a soul life has enough to offer to live, to love, and to be loved.

the hellhound, the man, whom yuuri has given what little of his was left to give: his heart.

#yuri on ice #victuuri #viktuuri #yuuri katsuki #victor nikiforov #victuri #vikturi #my fic #I'm struggling so bad with writing these days #it took me 3 days to write this #ugh #but I think I will be slowly trying to start writing again #even tho it's painful rn #yrdcyvfhbn #enjoy I guess?

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littlebitoffanfic · 5 years

Text

Mine

Fandom: The Hills Have Eyes Character: Lizard Relationship: Lizard/reader Request: “you almost had me fool. Almost.” and/or "But you were mine" - The Hills Have Eyes (character up to you!) You shove the last of your clothes into your bag as you sniff back tears. the house was empty ever since Lizard had stormed out hours ago. Most of the rooms were in darkness apart from your bedroom which looked like a bomb had hit it. You looked around, searching for any last piece of clothing or your things you might have missed, but once you were satisfied, you picked up one of the backpacks and swung it over your back. Carrying the second in your hand, you turned off the light and went downstairs and out the back door. It was late and dark. You felt guilty leaving without saying goodbye to the others, but you hoped your note would be enough closure for them. Plus, you weren’t sure if you even could leave. you were kept for Lizard. You knew that from the start. Whatever warped life you had lived that lead you to falling helplessly in love with the man, you didn’t really understand. But there you were. You would have done anything for him. In fact, you had. You had killed, mutilated, committed cannibalism and so much more just to make him happy with you. and he always had been. You were his prize, his pet to keep safe and somewhat happy. You thought he loved you. at least in some regard. You were sure of it. At the start, it was more physical than anything else. He completely rocked your world, introducing you to a sex life you didn’t even know existed. But over time, things became a lot more intimate and loving. Sometimes, he would be soft and gentle while other times he would pull your hair and bite you. And you loved every moment of it. Gradually, he started spending more time with you. he gravitated away from his family and towards you, spending his evenings in your company. He started asking about you, wondering where you came from. And he listened properly. no like some guys who just say ‘yeah’ but never really take in the information. No, he would listen and respond. One time, you had mentioned how much you liked flowers and the next day you found some of the small flowers that grew on the bushes near the gas station on your bed. One time you had told him about how you always liked bracelets and the next day, there were at least 25 or even 30 bracelets on the kitchen table. You didn’t think where they came from, but you chose your favourite and when Lizard came back, you threw yourself into his arms. Yes, he could be angry and cruel at times, but barely with you. he snapped if he was tiered or hurt and he would manhandle you if something was seriously wrong. Once, someone had escaped and Lizard and dragged you to the bedroom, locking you inside to keep you safe. At first, you had been scared, but then you heard a fight break out down stairs and you realised Lizard had know the man was in the house. You really did love him. But after this fight, you couldn’t stay. Not knowing what he had said. It had all started because you mentioned that you’d like to maybe have a look around outside the village. Maybe go to the gas station. Lizard had said no. but things escalated when you tried to persuade him. That was when you realised. He didn’t trust you. But things only got worse. You tried to tell him he could trust you, that you would never run becuase you loved him and as long as he loved you, that was all that mattered. But he was angry. And Lizard was quick to snap. “I don’t love yah.” He had snarled at you. instantly, he had seen the effect his words had had on you. your whole body slouched as your eyes watered. Lizard was quick to leave before he could see you cry. He never liked it when you cried. You felt dirty and used. Sure, some part of you told you that he had just said it out of anger, but another voice was louder in its opinion. He didn’t love you, he didn’t trust you, you were just the first one that came along. And now, you were sneaking out of the house. You knew where the family kept the car which they used to get back and forth quickly. You could hotwire it and take it up to the gas station where you’d be able to take another vehicle and get away. Becuase you couldn’t stay. Not anymore. “What are you doing!?” A voice hissed and you were pulled to the side, slammed against the rocks surrounding the area. Lizard voice had made you jump because you didn’t expect him to see you. Goggle or Ruby, yes, but not Lizard. “Im going.” You hiss back. “You think yah can just up and leave?” Lizard growled back, a small huff of laughter leaving his lips as he said the words. “I don’t know.” You looked away from him becuase even you knew that was a lie. You weren’t allowed to leave, ever. “Go back to the house.” Lizard voice was low and threatening but you shook your head, managing to wriggle out of his grap which was surprisingly easy. You had seen him pin down men twice his side, you should have been no problem. But then again, he had never had to hold you down. No, you had always came with him willingly with your hand in his own. “Why do yah want to leave all a’ sudden?” Lizard calls after you as he darts after you. he grabbed your wrist. “Why should I stay?” you twist around, countering his question. “Because yer mine.” He growled and you almost fell back into his arm. Almost. You turned to look at him, your eyes tearing up. “I might have believed that. that you might love me and want me to stay because of that. You almost had me fooled. Almost.” You breathed and Lizards hand dropped your wrist. He flinched at your tears. you took the moment to back away from him as he glared at the ground. You could see how tense his jaw was as he looked back up at you but didn’t come after you. You climbed into the car and quickly hotwired it. The car burst to life and you were sure a hand was going to throw open the door, grab you and rip you out the car. But it never did. You pulled away, looking in the rear-view mirror, you saw Lizard watching after you. he took a few steps into the centre and stared after the car until you could no longer make out him in the darkness. ----------time skip ------------ You didn’t know what brought you back to this place. It was close to 5 years since you had left and yet, you never wanted to be anywhere else but back in the village. After your life with Lizard, the whole world seemed so boring and dull. You’d never met anyone quite like him before. He enchanted you, bewitched you and you never really fought it. Even after you had left, he confused you. Why had he let you leave? He was sure to get in a lot of trouble with the family since you might run and tell the police about them. But you didn’t and you were sure he knew you wouldn’t anyway. Part of you thought he really had meant what he said in the argument, that he truly didn’t love you and saw you as nothing more than a fuck buddy. but he could have just killed you. You had seen him do it to loads of people before. He didn’t care about blood on his hands. So why let you run? Why not just kill you? Getting out of the car, you look up at the gas station. It was deserted. When you had ran through, there had been an older man here who had double looked at you but done nothing to stop you. He seemed to no longer be here. pushing the door, you were surprised to see it was left open. Stepping inside, you were thankful that the building was a little cooler than outside. There were bottles of water in a fridge which you were quick to retrieve and check the date. When you realised it still had a year or so left, you opened it and took a drink. Then you heard movement behind you. You glance in the fridge, able to see a slight reflection in the glass which revealed a male figure. One you had only dreamed about for the best part of 5 years. You twisted around, meeting the gaze of the man who stood behind you. he was staring at you like you were a ghost of some sort. He blinked, hard, but nothing changed. It seemed the years hadn’t been as kind to Lizard as they had been to you. he now sported several new scares and his skin showed the wear of the constant sun. But his eyes were as blue as ever. “[y/n]?” he breathed your name, taking a hesitant step forward. “Hi Lizard.” You gave him a small smile because, even though you didn’t want to see him, you were still happy. “but, but you left.” He breathed, frowning deeply as he stared at you. “yeah..” you trail off, looking away from him in embarrassment because it might have been one of the worse decisions you’d ever made. “Why’d yah leave?” His voice showed anger but his eyes were screaming sadness as he stared at you. “I thought I didn’t want me. That you really didn’t love me. You didn’t trust me and I thought I was just like one of the outsiders to you. I thought you would have found someone else.” You look to him, expecting him to nod and confirm he had another mate. But he shook his head, dropping his eyes to the ground. “Never found anyone after you. didn’t look. Just hoped you would come back.” Lizards feature showed a slight distress before he looked back to you. “Why?” you breathed. He could easily have found another female, especially within 5 years. “Cause you were mine.” Lizards eyes meet your own, and you knew there was only one thing you could say in return. “I still am.” You breath. The broke Lizard. He darted to you, his arms wrapped around your waist and you were pulled against his body. His lips collided with you in a desperate and needy kiss. One which made your whole world spin uncontrollably as he kissed you with such fire and passion. you placed your hands on his shoulders, near the base of his neck and slipping your fingers under the material that covered his torso. He shivers at your touch, and you could see a few more scares across his skin but he didn’t seem to care. He pushed you back against the fridges, his hands traveling down your sides towards your ass before he picked you up. You quickly wrapped your legs around him, allowing him to grind against you. You pulled back for air, but Lizard couldn’t bare to be parted from you and proceeded to kiss down your neck. “That’s a hell of a hello.” You were panting slightly, and you were sure your cheeks were a dark pink. “Shouldn’t have let you leave that day.” He breathed against your skin. “Should never have got angry with yah.” He didn’t sound like he was talking to you directly, but more like he was scolding himself. “Stay?” He meant to make it sound like a demand, like he was in control of this situation. But the truth was, he wasn’t. he was begging you. The way he clung to you, the way he had kissed you and the way his eyes met yours with a deep burning for you told you so. “I’m yours, aren’t I?” you smile, leaning your forehead against his own in an intimate gesture. “Mine.” He agrees.

#lizard #lizard x reader #The Hills Have Eyes #thhe #dialogue prompt

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youngjaelook · 6 years

Text

Querencia — Park Jinyoung

author's note — another requested imagine! i actually really like this one, it's lowkey kinda fluffy yet angsty at the same time. hope u guys like itttt! also send me some more requests! to anon, i know u requested a jinyoung au and im so sorryyy asfkdfjfdkl i hope u still like it tho T.T #UNEDITED!

request from anon — Hi! Would like to request for park jinyoung au, where he forgot about 1st anniversary and his s/o had prepared a surprise for that day. but jinyoung didn’t appear and then, when he realized, he tried to put the situation to rights?

summary — Lately, it seems like Jinyoung doesn't know that he's the reason you're falling apart.

warnings — slight smut, angsty-ish & flufffff

word count — 2K

Jinyoung was rarely ever running late, so when the clock struck ten and he was still nowhere to be found, you wondered if you supposed to feel worried.

It was mid-November in Seoul, so it wasn't exactly warm outside. The air was biting and you could practically make out the white snow starting to fall down from the sky like beads of rain on a July afternoon.

"It's Jinyoung! I'm probably busy at the moment, so please leave a me —" Usually, you loved the sound of Jinyoung's voice, but tonight it was anything but soothing.

You looked up at the sky, cursing the gods for your luck today, and sighed.

You were aware that dating an idol wasn't going to be a walk in the park. You had to compete for his attention on most days.

Sometimes you felt almost like a burden to him.

Your phone buzzes in your hand and you jerk in surprise.

It's Jinyoung.

You don't hesitate to answer him, heart beating widly in your chest as you prayed he was okay and safe, and not in some freak car crash or something. "Yah, Park Jinyoung! Why haven't you answered my calls? Are you alright? Oh God, please tell me you're alright."

You hear shuffling on the other side, followed by a heavy sigh.

"I'm fine, jagiya. I just — I'm still at this party and I don't know if I can make it tonight." It's like your heart is free falling into the dark void in your stomach.

You don't know if you should be relieved that he's safe and not in the hospital, or if you should cry because this is the third time he's flaked out on you. You figured any other day would be fine for him to ditch you for his job, but today marked your first year together — did he even care?

Jinyoung takes note of your silence. He's pulling at his dress tie, mouth dry and lip twitching as his guilt starts eating him away.

"Princess —"

"Why do we even bother anymore, Jinyoung?"

And it's as if all of Jinyoung's demons start mocking him, torturing his senses, driving him insane as the words roll off your tongue.

He swallows thickly. "Jagiya, let's not talk about this now," he looks around, hoping nobody can see the tears in his eyes, or the tremble in his hands. "please."

It takes almost everything in you not to scream at your phone before hurling your phone into the busy street. You take in deep breaths in order to calm your state of mind, but it doesn't work — you don't know if anything will work anymore.

"Goodnight Jinyoung." Your voice is soft, on the brink of breaking, and you hung up the phone before you could hear him protest.

The walk back to your apartment was quiet, only the sound of your sniffles and the buzzing of the cars on the roads, are the only sounds you hear along with the shattering of your heart with each step you take.

When you get home, you fling yourself on your bed — the velvet sheets keeping you warm, and providing you comfort.

After what felt like hours of crying which were only just about twenty minutes in reality you make yourself a cup of tea to calm down your raging head-ache.

You don't know where you stand with Jinyoung at the moment, neither did Jinyoung.

He was whizzing past crowds trying to get to the exit. The remorse in his heart prompted him to run back to your apartment, to see you.

Wonpil was the one who noticed his fellow label-mate sprinting for the door. He frowned as he made his way to Jinyoung.

"Jinyoung-ah!" Jinyoung looked like a mad man as he turned around to face Wonpil. "woah, are you alright? Did you drink too much — it's very unlike you to get drunk this early into the party."

Early? Jinyoung wanted to scream. It was half past midnight, and the girl he loved oh so dearly was probably back in her apartment after hours of waiting for him, crying herself to sleep because he didn't show up!

It was too late.

Wonpil noticed the conflict in Jinyoung's face and laid his hand on Jinyoung's shoulder as he gazed deeply into his eyes. "You haven't been taking," he looked around and lowered his voice. "drugs, right?"

Jinyoung's eyes visibly widened. "What? No, of course not! It's just," he ran his hand down his face, flustered and frustrated. "I flaked out on my girlfriend."

Wonpil pursed his lips. "Again?"

Jinyoung nearly choked on his spit. "Again? What the hell do you mean again —" Wonpil shook his head. "I can take you to her apartment if you want, I know where it is."

Jinyoung always thought Wonpil was a gift sent from heaven.

"You would do that?" Jinyoung asked.

Wonpil always liked you not in that way, though, he thought you were a nice girl, an extremely warm soul with a good heart — he knew you deserved better, but he always knew that you loved Jinyoung with every fiber in your being.

"Yeah, of course."

Jinyoung didn't hesitate at all as he followed Wonpil to his car parked in the basement.

And as the car started to take off and the party's music fizzled from earshot, Jinyoung couldn't help but think, "Wait, you know where my girlfriend lives?"

Wonpil switched gears and chuckled. "Y/N's a really nice person, and a great friend."

Emphasis on friend.

Wonpil managed to get them there in under fifteen minutes. But in those less than fifteen minutes, he nearly ran over a stray cat, nearly missed another car's side mirror by an inch and ran a red light.

Jinyoung looked pale as he reached to unbuckle his seatbelt. "Hyung," he gasped. "How did you even manage to get your license, or a car for that matter?"

Wonpil merely shrugged. "I have my connections." He said. "Now go," Jinyoung nodded and wobbled got out of the car.

"Yah, I'll be down here if anything backfires!" Wonpil gave him a thumbs-up and attempted to parallel park the car.

Jinyoung races to the elevator and tries to calm his breathing, though it's no use because he's starting to panic and the cramped space of the lift isn't really helping.

There's this dread sinking into his bones that he's going to lose you. It's been only a year, but he's convinced that he only wants you.

Jinyoung feels at home with you.

Every time the sunlight pours into his room and you're sprawled out beside him, his heart warms and it's like he's going crazy as he stares at you. He wants to have this everyday, to bask in your warmth and that pretty smile of yours.

Jinyoung raps on your door four times.

You're by the kitchen, stirring your tea when he knocks. You nearly jolt out of your skin. You check the time and see that it's nearly one in the morning.

You open the door and stare in shock when you see it's Jinyoung, looking like a mess — a handsome mess.

"You look like you're about to puke, are you drunk?" Jinyoung shakes his head. "No, Wonpil drove me here." You immediately understand.

One time Wonpil had suggested he take you home after you both got some coffee together — never again, is what you tell yourself.

"Okay, I think you need to sit down," You don't hesitate to take Jinyoung inside. He always made you so soft.

You guide him to the couch, laying him down softly against satin pillows. He suddenly feels intoxicated by your touch, compelled to run his hands against your sides.

"Jagiya," You don't respond, finding interest in your fuzzy socks.

Jinyoung feels desperate. "Princess, look at me." You still don't look.

"Y/N," your head snaps up and you stare into Jinyoung's eyes with your glassy ones.

Looking at you right now, Jinyoung felt beyond guilty. How could he put you last, how could he leave you out in the cold? How did he deserve someone like you?

"Come here," And it's like his voice is a spell, bewitching you to follow everything he said.

You hesitantly sit on his lap, the material of your cotton shorts hiking up to your thighs. Jinyoung buries his head into your chest, sniffling and muttering out incoherent sorry's.

Your heart breaks even more if that's possible.

You run your digits along the softness of his dark locks, twisting and caressing his silky hair. "Jinyoung," you murmur.

Jinyoung sobs and clutches on to the fabric of your shirt. "Please don't leave me, Y/N. I know I don't deserve you — but please, I promise I will do what ever I can to give you everything you want, everything you need."

You're sobbing along with him, not caring if his tears are ruining your shirt. "Jinyoung, don't say that." You cry.

"I just really don't want to lose you," he peers up at you, and you feel like falling in love with him all over again as you stare at him.

His eyelashes are wet with his tears, and his eyes are iridescent and lustrous under the warm lighting of your living room. His lips are parted and rosy, so tempting to kiss and nip at.

"You won't, Jinyoung-ah." You reach out to stroke the supple skin of his flushed cheeks, admiring how smooth he felt underneath the pads of your fingertips.

Jinyoung brings his lips up to touch your own. His kisses are urgent, yet soft and gentle. His hands travel down to touch the small of your back, guiding you flush against him.

The material of his pants kneaded the heat between your legs, leaving you panting and whimpering, and he doesn't stop, only picking up his pace as he admires you falling apart above him.

"Jagiya," his voice has turned hoarse and slightly deeper, sparking a blue flame in you. "strip for me, please." It doesn't take much from you to do what you're told.

In a matter of seconds, you're nearly bare in front of him; the only thing acting as a barrier between you two are your panties and his slacks.

"So pretty for me," he muses.

You sigh when his lips leaves a trail of kisses on the valley between your breasts. "Only for you."

And as Jinyoung hooks his fingers on the hem of your underwear, his phone blares in his pockets. Who could be calling him at this ungodly hour?

Jinyoung gives you a look as he continues to undress you. Your hand reaches into his pocket, fishing out his phone.

"It's Wonpil?"

Jinyoung stops what he's doing and curses silently. "Shit, he's still downstairs."

You watch in amusement as Jinyoung answers the phone, a look of anticipation in his face. "Yah! Park Jinyoung, I've been waiting here for the past hour —" Jinyoung frowns at you and shifts the phone to his other ear. "I swear to God if you two are fucking up there I will —" You take the phone from Jinyoung's hand and giggle.

"Wonpil-oppa,"

The line is silent for awhile before Wonpil speaks up, his voice much softer compared to earlier.

"Y/N-ah," Jinyoung stares at you in shock. There's a twinge of bitterness that strikes his chest, pouting and crossing his arms like a child being told off.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting, oppa. But Jinyoung and I are okay now, so you can go home." You tell him, sweetly.

Wonpil nods, though you can't see him. "Yeah, alright alright."

"Thank you, Wonpil-oppa. Drive home safely, and text Jinyoung when you've arrived home." Jinyoung glares at the wall behind you, still pouting. You hand him the phone, and Jinyoung presses it against his ear. "So, you've got a soft spot for my girlfriend, huh hyung?"

You shook your head and began to unbutton Jinyoung's button-down.

"Of course, I do — I mean, what kind of person doesn't?" Jinyoung furrowed his eyebrows, looking up at you. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Wonpil snickers. "You should see Jinyoung PD-nim with her." You shrug innocently at Jinyoung and offer him a small smile.

"Anyways, I'm going. Take care, and I'll see you soon." The phone call ends and Jinyoung takes your hands away from his shirt.

"Jinyoung PD-nim?"

Your shoulders rose and fell in a shrug. "I have that effect on people."

Jinyoung chuckles and smiles knowingly. "I can attest to that."

#park jinyoung #jinyoung imagine #jinyoung smut #jinyoung fluff #jinyoung angst #got7 #wonpil #day6 #got7 imagine #got7 angst #got7 fluff #im jaebum #kim yugyeom #choi youngjae #bambam #jackson wang #mark tuan #kpop

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suffernotawitchtolive · 5 years

Text

I don’t want to know who we are when we aren’t together || Self

The world spun around him, the scrapes felt like holes in his flesh. The pain had only been this bad once before. They had been torturing Joshua and then had killed Wren. This pain only compared to the look on Joshua’s face as he died. Of course Wren hadn’t stayed dead, but now he wished this pain was death. In the moment he wanted death. Joshua had turned on him. Joshua had protected the witch. Wren hadn’t even wanted to kill her. whether she continued to follow his trail or not, he wanted to quit hunting and settle down with Joshua. Maybe have a new parish, but Joshua wasn’t settling down with him. Joshua had betrayed him for Kouri.

The silence was ripped apart with a pained sob. Wren gripped his own hair as he leaned back against the truck. He had driven for hours to get away from the attack. To get away from Joshua. Had it been a ruse? Had he been trying to save Wren from her? Why would he attack Wren that way if it was to protect him?

Attacked him. Joshua attacked him to defend that girl. Joshua had shot him. Wren had broken the bolt and left most of it in his shoulder. the pain started to lace through his arm and chest, his tattoo kept throbbing as he sobbed. His sobs got the attention of the hunters he had driven to inside the safe house.

He was covered in blood and starting to tremble violently. His arm was starting to lose function in the pain from the bolt and he was starting to feel dizzy. Joshua had shot him. Judas shot him. At least he wasn’t dead. But had he betrayed Wren or was he still protecting Wren. The ground spun up to meet him but was caught and carried inside.

He had woken up three days later. they had moved him to a different state. He was in a small clinic inside a small church. He guessed. With all the crosses and the saints on the white walls. It was a four bed clinic. No one else was in here. He knew this was a hunter recovery unit. A witness protection for him while he was injured. They would probably make him work here while he recovered. Little did they know, he would recover much faster than he should and he would be gone before they released him.

Now weeks had passed and no word came from Judas. She had bewitched him. That had to be it. Joshua wouldn’t do this.

Wren didn’t speak. He just answered the yes or no questions with a nod or shake of his head. Anything else got a polite nod or smile. He barely interacted with anyone and only did the bare minimum. He had been injured badly, emotionally and physically. this place was quiet and understanding. Beautiful and comfortable. He hated it. He would give any number of days here up to be with Joshua again one more time in that damn asylum.

“Father.” He jumped, being caught off guard, a tear rolling down his cheek. It was a small, young, nun. He tilted his head to acknowledge her speaking to him, “Father. You’ve lost someone... and not to death. That’s how you came to us,isnt it?” She said softly to him. He looked down to the ground and gently brushed the tear off his face.

She watched him in silence then started to play with a flower to give him a moment to himself in the most polite way she could, “That is why we are here. The Vatican send the injured home to be retired. you were intended for retirement. They know that you’ve lost someone important. I’m here to help you get them back. I am sister Lynn. Father Gregory is going to aid you as well as sisters Rita, and Gwen. Gwen is a mute as you are.”

Wren shook his head, speaking softly, his voice quiet. He hadn’t ever heard it so quiet before yet so clear,” I’m not mute, Sister. I didn’t mean to be rude. I just had nothing to say.”

“You do now, and it wasn’t that.” She looked down,” You’re going to tell me you do not need help. this is why the Vatican sends the wounded home. Sends those who have lost others to us. We are here specifically for rescue missions. You’re going to tell us to stay here. That is why we can’t. The Vatican sent you to us to make sure this is a recuse mission and not a revenge mission.” She lay a hand on his arm as he started to feel the air being forced from him. They weren’t going to let him kill Kouri, and his injuries were not great enough for him to be retired. Judas had wounds to great to keep hunting so they would either retire him, or worse, since he wasn’t of use to them anymore and all supernaturals were blasphemy. He couldn’t let them get Judas in their hands.

“I can’t save him.” She seemed shocked. A priest in love was something that sometimes happened, and love had been what they saw him grieving. A priest in love with a man was more taboo than the killing they did, “We can’t save him. He doesn’t wish to be saved. I can no longer fight. The Vatican made a poor judgement on this one. I’m too injured. you’ve seen my shoulder. I can’t move this arm at all. It was ruined in the fight.”

“you have spent more words making excuses than anything else you have said here. Father. Your in the protection of the church and all of those you keep are now as well. The church will cause you no grief. After we retrieve the one you lost, you are both retired. He has done amazing work for the Vatican under your guidance. This is a true rescue and release mission. They reviewed your report of the Asylum. Great work.” She almost blushed. He was a legend, honestly. their best hunter. He had done better work at the asylum than anyone there had known.

Wren smiled bitterly and squinted to the sun above them. It was a cool day. Not cool enough to keep the snow from melting once the sun got higher. Right now the snow was still freshly fallen at their feet on the sides of the path. Just freshly cleaned. Had been cold enough to snow but somehow not cold enough to kill the flowers.

"Youre new here, Sister. You were given orders to aid me in finding the ome I lost. You are to aid me in saving him. You didnt know it was a him, you dont have a name yet or you would be skeptical of saving him. Father has different orders. Je is a fore extinguisher. He is to escalate the situation until the only line of action... is to kill me and the one I have lost in the process of 'saving' either you or humself or one of the others. He may kill the girl who has my friend captive. He may not. She isnt on their radar yet. I didnt think she was a threat so never reported her." He started to walk, hands clasped at his back.

"I... father Wren, that's not..." she stammered as she followed. He spun on her, making eye contact and started to compel her.

"Forget this conversation. You havent seen me this morning. You will go to find me in my room. Go on." He watched as she calmly turned and went the other direction. His tattoo chastised him for letting her go. A witch. A fire extinguisher here to redeem herself to the church. Or another soul to sacrifice to the church as Wren had done over and over. It didnt matter to him. She would have died in the field. They wouldnt let her get to her second mission.

He had overturned his room. Made it look like a major struggle. Broken bed, broken desk. There was a broken bookcase and papers thrown around, curtains burned and torn. He avoided everyone as they ran to see what had happened. He made it to his truck and used magic to start it, he disnt know where they hid his keys.

He had to go save Judas. Reverse whatever spell kouri had put on him. It had to be a spell. Had to be. Joshua would never turn on him for her. Not after all they had been through. Not after all he had put Joshua through. Not after...

Wren couldnt think about this any other way. Not now. He had to concentrate and had to think of how to actually fight Joshua this time even though Joshua wasnt going to hold back like Wren had to.

As he drove he muttered a spell, A delayed spell that set off bombs he had planted in the church. There were areas he knew no one would be this early in the morning and he had planted them there to keep the church away. He knew that the Vtican wanted to retire him. He knew that meant theg wanted him dead. True retirement came after long trials. Sitting and reporting to the vatican in person. Presenting your case and begging for it. Most of the time if you were Wrens age, you were denied. Judas was even younger and an abomination. Wren had always known they wouldnt reture Judas.

He winced and held his own shoulder. The pain was lacing its way down his arm, years springing to his eyes. Judas had shot him. Had been stating at him and not recognised him. Judas had shot at him and sent him away, protecting his childhood...

"Stop it, Wren." He told himself aloud," Stop thinking that way. There was no way she could turn him. He knew the blood and gore on my hands. He knew it all. I told him. He had hated me for it but we had worked it out. We were okay. We were in live. He would never turn on me."

Unless she told him how her family had been innocent and she had been run out of her families home. Had been orphaned by her priest. Unless he had once loved this girl and now reunited, he loved her more. Or just plain loved her. Didnt live Wren and finally figured it out. Wren sobbed.

"Im his mission." A cry ripped from his chest. Judas wouldnt do this to him. No matter what. He had never given up on Wren. Judas should have. The moment Wren doubted him, used him, ruined him. Wren sobbed even harder but he had to keep driving.

He could feel blood running down his arm but instead of giving in to the pain, he used it. He started to mutter a spell the blood laying into the shape of his tattoo until a name struck him. He knew where Judas was. He was going to save him. No matter the cost.

The cost could be Judas. That was right. If he killed Kouri while Judas was under the spell he would be stuck under the spell. He had to break it. That was clever. She knew he couldnt kill her until she removed the spell. Never remove the spell, never die. Leverage.

Wren had to make a backup plan. Had to fix this. He had to.

Finally after a day and a night he pulled over and fell asleep in the cab of his truck, blood dried on his arm and side making his shirt stick to him in the cold. He slept, almost as if at peace. He knew what was coming. He prayed he was wrong. His dreams told him he wasnt.

The windshield cracked.

@tattoobruised

@pride-and-wrathfulness

@alexanderforhire

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readfelice-blog · 6 years

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moominland chronicles elf . its not you, its me.

Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and caldron bubble. Fillet of a fenny snake, In the caldron boil and bake; Eye of newt and toe of frog, Wool of bat and tongue of dog, Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting, Lizard's leg and howlet's wing, For a charm of powerful trouble, Like a hell-broth boil and bubble. Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn and caldron bubble. Cool it with a baboon's blood, Then the charm is firm and good.

It's late today, well i mean there is no set time, but im slow, on this gorgeous early autumnal sunday, i dozed till 15h, getting up intermittently to empty my washing machine, tug at my hair (vinegar makes it sticky? I'm trying to find the perfect all natural solution to shampoo because I’m no poo now : https://www.nopoomethod.com , in fact i’m practising a very loose version of alchemy in my house, trying to find drinks that energise but don't make me anxious, cleaning solutions for my body and for my house that bewitch the nostrils and incinerate grease / kalk. Essentially I’m just concocting weird stuff, hunched over materials collected around the city, boiling my hell broths in ikea pans, surrounded by recycled jars).....

Lets press on…...

Yes, my morning, my intro to the day, I was up so late because I was up last night so late, till 4am, painting and listening to sweet feminine soundwaves in my kitchen, getting it done in my way, step by step. Because now I’m working a 5 day week again, my days are 3 hours long, 5 at a push, 6 in the most extreme cases, so now I’m back to burrowing out time where i can find it, because now i have my teeth dug in to a big project, a big project that will be realized, for the first time since may May last year.

May last year:

I killed myself, artistically, me artistically is the majority of me.

My whole life has been sewn into my practise, my method, my way of understanding and redistributing everything that comes into my life, and May last year I moved out of the house I shared with my ex husband , moon, and into a shared flat, to embark on a restorative journey. Me and moon were not doing well in our little cramped caravan, we were at each other's throats incessantly, already broken up, him with a new partner, me in full swing of frantic madness, fuelled by bottomless bottles of booze.

Day in day out in my studio, I slowly turned my 450sq ft basement into a mermaids cave, drunk on 8% cider, night after night, sticking black bin liners to the walls with double sided tape, hanging spirals of bubblewave to the ceiling, spray painting floor tiles, screaming at the camera on my iphone half naked, making terrifying life size dolls and cry singing to myself, emphatically paranoid and fractured, writing letters to a man I’d never met who I thought could save me. It was my last great project, I created a film I can never show my parents and documented myself throwing my life away, in my wedding dress, shadowed by the virgin: a wreckage, a car crash, a lot of footage I haven’t been able to edit because I haven’t got the equipment to do so.

It's all stored on a clunky hard drive bundled up with the moon, he saved it for me, without him I would of lost it because my laptop, his laptop, broke in the middle of me editing it and since then its been untouched. I’m afraid the hours of video that follow me dancing around everything i’d ever owned up until that point, rigorously chucking it all in more black bin liners. When I can find a place to edit everything and the capacity in my mind, then I can piece it back together and show it to the world.

Since May last year, I have totally uprooted my life, moved out of London, had a very strange, sometimes beautiful, sometimes harrowing time with my family in Devon, rolled through Turin, Cork, Helsinki, chasing the man I’ve never met, blocking the man I’ve never met at the behest of my friend in Cork, defending and understanding my art more deeply in Helsinki, and finding Tove Jansson. Her bronze bust on the door of the studio she used to hold, her gorgeous expanding black and white prints in the mumin cafe that towered in the sky under artificial light, her room in the museum of Modern Art, her soul in the botanical gardens amongst the families having lunch together.

It's been a glorious invigorating illuminating intrepid journey (I’ve been writing a hip hop song recently, can you tell?) but its not been anything monumental in terms of creation and since May last year is the longest time I have gone without a major project in my life, for possibly my entire adult life, bar being at uni, where conversely I was more orientated towards squat parties than art making.

So here I sit now, with a great big juicy exciting idea inflated in a giant balloon, ready to be released into the atmosphere, the only snag is that it needs to be manifested into real material, which means a lot of work, and so, I find myself back in a place I’d forgotten about.

That's the very good thing about having such a long break, is now I can totally observe what happens to me when I’m in this phase: it’s quite extreme from a fledgling perspective.

Not fueled by booze this time, but instead concocting things to give me a buzz that I can buy in the supermarket (don’t drink to much valerian, it gives you a bad tummy, im not drowsy or euphoric I just feel sick from the after affects and rancid smell) and developing my cleaning routine to be the most streamlined and creative that it can be, to give my art sustenance.

But if I could I would lock myself away from the world in a cabin far up on a mountain and painfully draw out everything in a more concentrated form, the cleaning is fine for now but it's hard to concentrate when I have to go to peoples houses and deal with their kalk as well, it might be one of the factors in why the whole thing is so stressful, but I have the suspicion that it will always be stressful, even if I ever get the luxury to entirely dedicate my day to working on my art.

The big thing I’m noticing is incessant, almost intolerable paranoia, that someone will steal my idea and present it to the world before I’m done. I notice it now and then I turn and look at my past and see its infected traces throughout my history, it's a big driving force in getting the work finished and I’m starting to see that I cannot share or talk about what I’m doing when I’m in the midst of it, but all i want to do is share and talk about it, hence why that cabin would be a better place than a city I’m not fully established in.

I know it’s unreasonable, untrusting, maybe even unkind of me, to believe that someone would steal something like this from me. I know that sharing ideas is healthy and loving and makes the world go round, but this paranoia is totally immovable and so I just accept it and try to satiate it, hoping by feeding it homemade remedies that it won’t make my life worse.

But these big idea’s, they come upon me, I don’t choose them, all the strands of my life and experimentation ferment slowly and then one day I wake up and I know what I have to do, then as I start to do it it grows and morphs, develops, things come and go from my wall, until I have reduced and finelined the parameters of a project, that's where I am now, all the mental groundwork is laid, its just the creation that's left, I’m now half way through the musical aspect of it but not halfway through the visual and I need to amp up, because it must be done by November the second, so I can take it to Turin with me, so I can deposit it at the gates of hell, so I can complete a cycle, so I can be free to make blue music and who knows what, maybe try something formless, kind and organic - that's not for me to know yet though.

Once it rears its great dense head, I am in its power, I am in the throng of obeying my art and that's a lonely place to be. It's lonely being an artist, some of us are collaborative and collective and have communities, but I’m not among those right now, this project, lets just call it by its name for here in : восем acht ocho : is not something I can share and make with others, it is a process of me picking up the pieces of my life, of giving praise to the moon, who has saved me and supported me so many times. I must give praise to him finally so I can move on and give praise to myself.

So I sit in my house and dutifully work back and forth between paint and ableton, singing and faux performing in my hallway in between, performing to my very tolerant invisible neighbours that must think I’m some kind of banshee from a deep buried part of the world. I sit in my house alone, I reject all the invitations extended to me, I retract from the life I am building to some extent and just hope the friends I have been finding will be understanding, though it's hard to explain to someone that I can’t come because of something I am choosing to do myself. It's not work related in terms of my bread and butter, Its not health related, I’m not resting, I guess a lot of people won’t understand which is perhaps why I feel compelled to try and somehow explain myself in this blog today.

I must make this work, it is not a choice, I am in my house alone because this idea has bound me up and demands my care and attention, because for the first time in over a year I can make work again and make it with diligence, create something on a large scale. It means that Berlin is working, this is the change I was looking for, because I feel like I have a future again, whilst the 100’s of drawings, paintings, books, trinkets from my life decay in some junk yard close to London, I have the space to bring new art into the world. It’s really a glorious turning point in my life so far.

I am still terrified that it will all collapse in on me at any time, but there are ways of fighting this paranoia, careful planning, creative problem solving, and probably just not talking about the details of what I am doing anymore until it is finished.

Phew, nothing enlightening this week, more of an attempt to bridge the gap between myself and the life that flows around me. I’m now off to edit my most current track on ableton then do some line work and probably make up some mixes of citric acid / bicarbonate of soda cleaner for the week ahead.

We just have to do what we must, and be grateful when we know what it is we must do.

#big ideas #realisation #self growth

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