#completely valid. i had been considering how to go about sharing those parts of me but it faded into the background as i got busy
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On Anger, Trauma and Recovery
I just got done piecing together a clearer image of an issue I've been struggling to paint a complete picture of and therapy had me talking about my relationship and shit with emotions and it got me thinking now about my relationship with my specific longest term and old favorite emotion - anger / annoyance and here is the thing about it.
Anger is not inherently evil, bad, or destructive. It's actually incredibly productive when handled right and it stems from a sense of self love / love and the knowledge that you or the thing you are angry for deserve better than what is being given; that something feels unfair and needs aren't being met and the feeling of anger is the driving force to right those wrongs. It is inherently a defensive and healing function and feeling, so it is incredibly important to not only accept and embrace your anger, but to hear it out entirely.
The issue with anger that then comes though is that often - when people are disordered or traumatized - a lot of the time this anger is un-honed, un-polished, directed openly, and handled with limited depth, internal personal understanding, and and insight to exactly what the anger is, where it is coming from, and why it is appearing the way it does. And that isn't to shun or say anyone is 'less than or bad' - anger is one of the most intense emotions for a lot of people and considering it is a back up response to feeling imposed upon, threatened, or taken advantage of it is very very easy to get caught up in a fight-flight that makes it hard to sit down and clearly listen to your anger. It's a hard skill to learn, and one I've been developing for a while.
But great strength, power, and maturity comes from being able to learn to not only hold, embrace, and take pride in your anger, but to also listen deeply to it, understand what it is trying to tell you, and polishing that anger into a blade to carve out the life you and those you care about deserve.
And so this might not apply to everyone because these are some notes from my own personal journey and effort in learning to understand how to listen to my anger better (and in this case, I mean literally MY anger, but it can apply to your local 'angry' part). I'm mainly sharing this cause I don't think I've seen any good posts or resources on a more structured way to approach anger that didn't sound like "uwu your anger is valid uwu" which I think turns off so many "angry" people / parts
Step 1: Learn to become aware and notice when and why you are angry; then learn to become okay with sitting with that anger and postponing the urge to do anything in the immediate response to it. Just sit with it and feel it, interact with it, think about it - but don't do anything to 'solve' the anger.
Tips: Try to find something that you can non-verbally and/or independently express through - music, art, venting to your pet, even exercise / martial arts if you can maintain connection with your anger. These sorts of things can help ease the urge to have to do something about it that tends to limit and end the "listening" portion and impedes in deeper understanding to it
Step 2: Once comfortable with sitting with anger, when you notice your anger, try to find a way to set some time aside to comfortably interact with yourself on the topic that makes you angry. Get some music that helps you think to yourself in a more open ended free flowing manner, lay down on a comfy bed, get some tea, set the vibes well and look the anger 'in the eyes' so to say and ask away.
Tips: Ask yourself why does [thing] make you mad? What is wrong with it? What do you feel like is unfair and needs to be changed? What need is being ignored / not met? Who / what is not being heard? What exactly is your anger upset about? Try to polish away the specific names and people of the immediate situation and try to understand the core fundamental needs of yourself. Is something about the situation making you feel not seen? Do you feel like your needs are going unnoticed? Do you feel like you are not being included? Do you not feel like you were given a fair chance? Why is this situation triggering such a feeling? Does this stem from a feeling in the past? Try to understand the deep connections threads that come together to make you feel this way.
Step 3: Once you get a feeling that you understand where this anger comes from (often in my experience it clicks with a but of an "ah, okay" feeling) resurvey your current situation. Compare your findings of what the meat of your anger is and what it wants changed to what your situation is. See then where you can best give your anger what it needs and what it wants to start to right the wrongs that it is feeling in a compassionate way to your anger / yourself. You may not be able to go to the extent that you wish, but the very least you can start to give your anger what it needs to be as intense and as aggressive.
Your anger doesn't deserve to have to be so loudly angry just to be heard.
Your anger should be able to show itself to you and for you to be able to hear it out and meet it's needs.
As a general skill of this is built anger doesn't leave and it doesn't become less present - because anger is important, anger is your friend and it's kept you alive and motivated you to love and stand up for yourself - but the built better relationship and ability to listen to said anger in a compassionate manner can become incredibly productive both in healing yourself and minimizing the damage of "anger issues", but also in fixing the environment around you that may be worsening your mental health and overall quality of life.
#alter: xiv#anger issues#anger#emotional regulation#healing#recovery#bpd#c-ptsd#ptsd#did#actuallydid#aspd#npd#ocpd#mental health#mental health recovery
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I’ve been following your blog for a while now, and it’s really been helping restore my relationship with faith. So firstly I want to say thank you. <3 I also wanted to ask how you learned to deal with adversity so well? I’ve seen other blogs on here that frequently invalidate queer christians and openly say they are not valid. How can one believe in a god that would “make all people in his image” but then turn around and tell his people to hate what he had created?
Welcome, beloved! I'm so glad this can be a good space for you and you're very welcome. My ability to deal with adversity is actually currently being tested because I wrote out a complete response for you and Tumblr did not save my draft!!! And yet we press on. Hopefully this second try from scratch is still helpful/relevant. Please assume any lack of genius is because I used it all up the first time around. :)
I'm honored you think I deal with adversity well—I have a long way to go but I am proud of where I am. Partially I've learned because I had to learn. My greatest wish was to continue being in faith communities as myself, and that sadly inherently puts me in adverse situations. I'm lucky to generally have experienced passive/"well-meaning" homophobia in my daily life rather than active violence or abuse, but it is of course still a hardship. In many ways I am not given a choice—if I live as I am, this is what I will experience. I wish this were not the case, but it is—which means part of fulfilling my journey (existing as I am within my faith) means dealing with adversity, and because of my beliefs, I strive always to deal with it in loving ways.
I know I am connected to generations of Christians experiencing adversity, both from within and outside the church, and, like many of them, I have decided it is worth it to not give up my allegiance. To be clear, I have immense empathy and respect for those who leave the church for these reasons, and I would never shame them or consider them cowardly/weak—for those I know it has been an act of bravery, strength, and self-preservation. I want everyone to be free to make that choice—and I have (sometimes grudgingly) chosen to stay.
I similarly have empathy for those who attempt to repress or choose to hide/keep private their sexuality/gender—this is a very painful experience that I wish no one had to go through, but some are driven to it. There are generations of Christians (and queer people of all religions/cultures) who have experienced this, and it's often a choice between coming out or keeping your family/community/even life. Ultimately, some people do not wish to come out, not or ever. I do encourage people to be honest with themselves and God, and try their best to seek out affirming communities for their own health/well-being and ability to freely serve God, but again, this is a choice we are free to make—and I (joyfully and painfully, in an uncomfortable but safe environment) have chosen to be out.
I've had to learn how to curate my space on the Internet and generally avoid debates with strangers—my current rule when deciding whether to give someone time when they approach me with abuse is to ask, "Would answering this be useful (to me, to them, to those who might read it)?" and "Are they saying anything worth thinking about?" Often, the answer is no. Someone telling me to kill myself does not want to have a conversation, and there's nothing to respond to. But if someone shares a specific opinion, or cites a Bible verse, or criticizes a specific belief, then there's something there that could be useful to address. And then, of course, protecting myself is also relevant. It takes energy for me to write anything, but doubly so when I know the other person isn't approaching the conversation with the same love I attempt to. If I have the energy, and feel like there's something to actually say, sometimes I'll say something.
Whether I'm responding or deleting, I am called to keep moving with prayer and love. I can't let my beliefs go out the window when I get hurt or angry (although that happens to all of us sometimes). And always always I remember that it's never about me. Homophobia comes from ignorance/fear/disgust, and although I am sometimes the one directly addressed, I am not what these people have an issue with. Problems with me living as a Christian generally come from past trauma, ideological issues with certain theologies, or ignorance/disrespect of religion generally, not me existing. Again, I'm the one being addressed, but their (often justified) anger is not about me. I'm not trying to make excuses for people, but I am making the space for my own compassion and their ability to grow, as my religion has taught me. (Obviously this doesn't include instances in which I might be the one who has made a mistake/caused harm; I'm talking about unjust adversity people experience, not consequences of actions.)
I will point out that it is much harder to deal with people like this in person. Writing involves distance and time from the aggressor. I can take a deep breath, wait a few days, choose whether to respond, and reread my words before sending them, thinking about how they might be received. But on the street? In school hallways? There is no distance and no time, and there is sometimes a lack of physical safety as well. This is when I have most often given in to anger, or meeting disgust with disgust. Obviously this has often been self-protection and survival, and I do not fault myself or anyone for not meeting oppression with perfect calm—this is impossible and not a value everyone holds. (That's a whole 'nother discussion!) When possible, though, I do try to do what I do here—if I feel safe, if I have the energy, I'm open, I ask questions. People filled with anger/fear/disgust/ignorance often can't keep it up for long.
Why do people hate, especially when they claim to value love? I don't have definite answers, although I've provided some already. I do know that most of the homophobic people I know are not abusive/violent—they are well-meaning and put-together. They genuinely want what's best for people, and think that guiding people toward repression or conversion therapy or mandated celibacy will guide their life towards God. This is a deeply mistaken perspective, that causes real harm and is full of ignorance, but I do not experience it as hate (although there is a violence present). They think I am not whole as I am, and think that loving me involves fixing me. This is not loving, but it is something I can understand more than outright abuse. It's another kind of adversity, one that sometimes hurts more long-term, partially because I can understand it more—I can't dismiss it. And these people have a hard journey—admitting they're wrong means admitting their whole worldview is broken, but also often includes making this judgment about their family/community, and might mean losing it. Again, I do not seek excuses, but context and space.
In my life, I prove them wrong by living wholly, fully, and openly. I cannot make them see my happiness—we cannot force people to open their eyes. But we can show them light where we can. We cannot save them alone, but they can be saved, and they will be. ("Save" here meaning to fully experience love, not conversion or avoidance of a traditional Hell.) I know my patience and love (the little of it I can sometimes reach) can help people, because people have told me it has, and this an honor and a privilege and an overwhelming stress and a gift from a universe I cannot move. If the way I have chosen saves even one person, it is worth it—and if we include me, then it definitely has, but even if we don't, I have witnessed others' hearts change. Moving and writing and speaking with love will not fix everything, it is not magical, but Love will save all of us—They already have. Love (who is God) is with us, even when we cannot feel it, even when we don't have the energy to comprehend it, even when we are blinded and scared and cannot admit we are wrong.
My beliefs inherently make room for people to change, even when this truth makes me mad, even when I wish I could just give up on people. Christianity, at its best, equips us to take a deep breath and remember what we were made for. As Pentecost arrives, I hold the Spirit close—I've never spoken in tongues or been set on fire (and not to jinx it but I don't really desire to), but I've felt the wind on my face and bird-watched in my backyard and sat around a bonfire with people I love. I have so far to go, and the road rises to meet me.
In summary, TL;DR, don't mean to rant but always do: I learned to deal with adversity because I had to, and with practice, while honoring others, while figuring out a path of love in this weird and confusing life, even as I fail at what I set out to do all the time, God sees what I do in the name of survival, and gives me the strength to keep going. I know anger and fear and disgust and ignorance because they're in everyone; I know what it is to believe something and do things that go against that, because I do it all the time; I know what it is to hang on to things I've been taught even when they're harmful, because I've done that. We can only pray that they do not overtake us as they overtake those who hurt us.
Blessings to you as we move through an inhospitable world (and website). May we do all the good that we can.
Grant, O God, that your holy and life-giving spirit may move every human heart, that the barriers which divide us may crumble, suspicions disappear, and hatreds cease, and that, with our divisions healed, we might live in justice and peace; through your Son, Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. —Lutheran Book of Worship (1978)
<3 Johanna
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Hi! i’m the anon who wrote the ask about fans thinking doumeki is all knowing. I jjst wanted to clarify that I do think they should both be honest about how they feel but doumeki was pretty honest and open pre time skip. I think he would get back to that if he was a bit more sure of yashiro’s feelings. But yashiro has never really been open to doumeki about his feelings and I get why but I think that an important part of his journey is being able to be open and vulnerable about how he is feeling. To me, it would be an unbalanced relationship if one is earnest as doumeki tends to be and one holds everything inside. Also, now that I’m thinking about it, doumeki had to face his worst fears by getting thrown out by yashiro, will yashiro now have to face his worst fears by potentially getting pushed away by doumeki which would in turn make yashiro fight for their relationship similar to how doumeki fought to be by yashiro’s side before. Idk, thats just a theory. Sorry, this got long again but saezuru just makes me think alot.
Hi! No problem, thanks for clarifying.
Doumeki and Yashiro have both changed since four years ago. You mention that Doumeki would go back to being honest if Yashiro were honest, but doesn’t that go both ways? Wouldn’t Yashiro also be more honest if he knew what Doumeki was thinking? Yashiro has also changed considerably, but Doumeki’s cold treatment and disrespectful attitude is confusing and irritating to Yashiro, causing him to lash out and resist. Until the Kido incident Yashiro thought Doumeki just wanted to keep an eye on him so that he doesn’t share info with Inami; he had no way of knowing that he was special to Doumeki. That’s why I think it’s unfair to put the burden of responsibility on Yashiro’s shoulders and expect him to open up, without considering the circumstances.
Despite the situation, it’s clear that Yashiro is doing the best he can given what he has to work with: an unrecognizable Doumeki, who is part of a new yakuza group, seemingly out of spite. He claims his only purpose is to complete the investigation and make sure Yashiro doesn’t sabotage it. He behaves coldly and bitterly. What do you expect Yashiro to do? Doumeki and Yashiro are both holding back. This is why whatever romantic progress is made between them is excruciatingly slow to us. But also keep in mind that only a few days have past in Saezuru time. In those few days, Yashiro has explained why he threw Doumeki away, he pulled Doumeki into his building and chose him as his guard, he confessed that he’d rather have Doumeki over Kamiya in his bed, he got mad over Doumeki’s tattoo, and then he kissed him back passionately. Actions speak for themselves, and Yashiro IS fighting to be by Doumeki’s side. If he weren’t he wouldn’t have done those things with the way Doumeki is keeping his feelings hidden (understandably).
I don’t agree that Yashiro has never been open about his feelings for Doumeki. The shower scene was a love confession. But even before that Yashiro has been honest and open with Doumeki— in one of their earliest conversations Yashiro told him about his childhood abuse, his one and only love, and his inability to be in a normal romantic relationship. These are things Yashiro hasn’t even told Nanahara or Misumi (M figured it out on his own). Yashiro also listened to Doumeki’s story and comforted him about his misplaced guilt and his fear about turning into his father. He told Doumeki many times that he was cute and that he was softer on D than his other subordinates. Yashiro and Doumeki have/had a very open, honest, and balanced relationship in terms of emotional validation. It would be unfair to dismiss all of this and claim that Yashiro holds everything in, while Doumeki is the only honest one in their relationship. I understand you think Yashiro isn’t doing enough, but I think you’re not giving him enough credit for what he has done, for what he is doing, and for everything he’s been through.
The reason we haven’t seen Yashiro confess yet is because the time isn’t right yet. There are things that need to happen before Yashiro can feel safe and comfortable enough to do any kind of confessing. This is Yashiro’s story and he’s taking us through it on his own terms. That’s kind of the point of Saezuru: to empathize with survivors of sexual abuse; to listen to their story. The point is not to police and evaluate their journeys to recovery, sorry to say it so bluntly.
If you want to continue this conversation, please just send me a private message.
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AUTHOR PORTRAIT ...
get to know the author behind the blog! repost, don't reblog !
BASICS
NAME: val
AGE: 24
PRONOUNS: she / they
YEARS OF WRITING: ok how specific are we talking. because i can say like circa 2010 i was on facebook writing bad twilight fanfiction + rp ( which then progressed into bad thg fanfiction ) or i can say elementary school and my little short stories i was always ad - libbing. regardless, it's definitely something i've had a knack for my whole life and it was literally just a matter of time before i found out about rp. and yes before you ask it was my personal facebook. when i was 11. that had all of my relatives added. yes they saw it. years writing on tumblr is different and i think i jumped ship and found out about tumblr rp around 2012 / 2013 and with that came my first formative decision which was to watch supernatural. you know where this is going. yes it was bad. no i'm not showing anyone.
REFLECTION
WHY DID YOU PICK UP WRITING? i needed a hobby and had unrestricted internet access. i kind of answered this in the question before so jokes on me blah blah blah but without getting too personal i had a very difficult time in school with mental health and tumblr, known weird kid haven, was my little safe space where i could freely pursue what i enjoyed and was really my first venture into fandom spaces. i started in the supernatural rpc [ horror music ] and slowly meandered my way through book fandoms, to animanga, and finally settled on the video game community where i've been good and SAT for like six years now.
DO YOU HAVE ANY WRITING ROUTINES? not necessarily. it's a miracle if i'm able to sit down long enough to open up my drafts and get going, but if i can lock in i'm all set. i find it hard to listen to music while writing because my brain cannot separate the two and i will accidentally start writing down the lyrics but i've never actually considered tuning into instrumentals so ,, thank you vos. writing that down............
WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE PART ABOUT WRITING? stealing from vos in stealing answer solidarity but the rp community aspect. it can be awful and exhausting as some of us know good and well but it can also be incredible depending on who you surround yourself with. it's so validating finding people who share your little niche interest or even niche - er pairing ( hi vos ) and then to just completely devolve into sending memes and posts and screaming until 2 am in dms. i've met so many of my closest friends through rp, and stealing vos' answer again, but the characters i write who turn out the most developed are those who have been shared with friends. noctis would be nowhere near as fleshed out as he is if not for the people i met in the ff fandom all those years ago.
THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOUR WRITING. oughhghh, um. i'm bad at taking compliments and even worse at complimenting myself so bare with me.
i've definitely grown a lot in terms of style and prose, and i'm actually pretty happy with what i'm able to spit out in terms of aesthetic styling as compared to even a few years ago. one of my biggest insecurities ( that still pops up here and again mind you ) was never being able to match length, and i was in the worst writers' block for a few years that i finally managed to escape out of around 2020 and now i can confidently say i'm writing more regularly than i ever have. so to answer the question: it has been my personal growth in my writing and it turning into something i can be confident in and proud of.
i really do enjoy the mundanity of editing my replies. i love to see the progress i make edit by edit and how cohesive and put together a piece of writing becomes the longer i work on it. i fully 100% devote myself to one reply at a time, which is a nightmare for quantity but sooooooo rewarding if it means i can put something out to the best of my ability and not stress myself out worrying about whatever else i owe. i am a self appointed slowpoke, and i've learned over the years to not let myself feel guilty about that because as long as it can become something i devote time on and put effort into, then it really shouldn't bother me how long it takes.
three things is too much to ask for lets all just walk away slowly.
A QUESTION FOR THE NEXT PERSON
HAVE YOU MADE ANY STRONG CONNECTIONS / FRIENDS DURING YOUR TIME WRITING? i'm pretty sure this question was intended for vos only but its way too late now and i've already written your accolades so you have to deal with it. this post is just going to be exceptionally long now.
vos @stagehunt my right hand man who has been with me for every gacha related poor financial decision. everything you said i'm literally sending right back to you. i knew no one in that fandom and was in way out of my depth before stumbling across you and your blog. i am so thankful we crossed paths and shoved our little barbie dolls together and said kiss because developing, and i mean really developing tomo would not have happened without your input. at this point you definitely deserve writing credits on him too because the way he turned out would be nowhere near the same if not for your influence. i've had a blast experiencing genshin's story with you and knowing without fail you'll be thinking the exact same thing whenever hyv fumbles the bag again, and yes. one day i GUESS i'll play more than 7 hours of hsr. luv u xoxo.
plum, @sherez, my love, my heart. it's crazy how fast the years have flown by and now all of a sudden i've known you since 2018??? i still remember seeing you from afar on ez and always being blown away by how much love and devotion you put into your characters. we are quite literally bonded for life after surviving the [ redacted ] rpc and i can't think of anyone better to come out beside than you. you can't get rid of me bitch!!!!!!!!! the amount of effort and care i've seen you throw into v, and how far she's come in terms of development blows me away. she is easily one of the best written characters i've ever had the pleasure of reading and i am so excited to keep following her growth. besides how freakishly talented you are, it's astonishing how much we have in common. bc who tf else would i be talking to about forgotten mcr lore in the year of our lord 2024. if no one got me, i know plum got me. booket....... booket for my sweety.......
lu @tactition its crazy how in the short little time we've spent together how much i've bonded with u. if i got down on one knee and pulled out a ring would u say yes.... my yaoi soulmate........ its INSANE how well our character Types (tm) mesh together, and i know karma is coming with its kiss for me when i finally download nier and have to atone for what i put u thru when i made you play final fantasy. please be gentle with me im delicate........... real talk tho.. you have so quickly become such an important person in my daily life and i literally feel myself go !!!! whenever i see a new dm from you because i know its always gonna be good. your character takes blow me away and even for myself who's nearly 7 years deep into the final fantasy scene, it amazes me how you still manage to shed light and new perspective on characters i've known for years. let’s kiss freaky style.
i've very much condensed my little bubble into people i actually want to surround myself with atp, and there's always a handful of mutuals on every blog that i don't necessarily talk to but who have been with me for years now so. sorry you can't leave or i'll become a danger to myself and others. kisses :*
WHERE DO YOU DRAW THE MOST INSPIRATION FROM? this is definitely a muse - specific question since it varies from character to character. with noctis specifically, it's mostly music. i have a few different playlists for him after writing him for so long, and while i can't listen while i write they all offer different types of mood setting for him. other times, its media involving fantasy tropes or characters that have similar struggles to him, off the top of my head ( and something i connected early on ) is the character u.enoyama r.itsuka from given. there's a lot i could say here regarding which aspects i took inspiration from but the majority was the similar personality he has to noctis, the internal thought process he offered when i read the manga, and the way he struggled with his sexuality that struck the loudest chord. don't quote me on any of that since i haven't been caught up with given for like 5 years now but !!!!! yeah the end.
NEW QUESTION: how do you relate to your character personally? are there any overt similarities to the two of you?
tagged by @stagehunt my lover.....
tagging - @lunabrae @tactition @sherez
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OK so. post amphibia anne right. it's been interesting and super fun to read people's takes on her since, like what others have mentioned, there seems to be so little of what we see about her in the show compared to sasha and marcy. and with her last bit of monologue about change, it's almost ironic how little we get to SEE that change in time skip anne.
before I go any further- this post is in no way gonna be me theorizing or rationally trying to make sense of what we were given BTW! it's just an amalgamation of brainrot the show and others have given and me trying to get those thoughts and feelings about the finale and timeskip's inbetween in order through written form. so enjoy the ride, I guess HAHA.
so. the hardest thing. Amphibia finale. the finale Matt has stated in the past was gonna be super controversial. AND BOY WAS HE RIGHT LMAO. whatever the case, if you felt strongly for this finale whether through tears, sadness or anger. that goes to show they did their job, lol
I've come to agree with all sides to an extent. I enjoy the finale for what it is, and I wouldn't ask it to be changed since its what Matt wanted to share. but the gripes people had about it are completely valid as well, I think.
particularly the bit about Anne not fighting to stay in connection with the plantars. the goodbye scenes kill me inside so hard, not because I hated that they were getting separated, but by how well they were done. I think that softened the blow for me, ironically. I think it would have been an even softer blow if the foreshadowing about them getting separated wasn't just sprig's moments of uncertainties in all in.
anne died for Amphibia to live. she was willing to do this sacrifice for everyone. it's a little sad to rationalize that by meeting the guardian, by seeing what she's seen throughout her young life, that she should just accept what has happened, or will happen.
the choice they made in the end, if you think there was one at all, was not the easy way out no matter way you look at it. its a hard to decision to leave amphibia, but the finale made it seem like the girls would have chosen living on earth over it any other day. they made connections, they accepted those connections whether those bonds were or werent as strong as they ought to be. and it just felt, like they didnt get frustrated by having to choose.
and back to anne. who accepted that she may never see these people again by agreeing to sacrifice her life for them. she gets another chance, and yet.
what goes through the mind of a little girl who was brought back to life and was told that she has to say goodbye to people she considers family forever? what is she saying to herself to justify this crushing realization that she may never see them again? that she won't see sprig and Polly grow up? that hop pop won't be able to show her his home cooked meals anymore? that Wartwood would soon no longer be anything but a memory only two other people on earth will be able to understand?
dying felt like there was no other choice. this is should be a good ending, they all get to live life fully and happy but. they have to say goodbye. and anne accepts this without much fanfare.
and it reminds me of how much a juxtaposition this is compared to her going off the shits crazy when Andrias dropped sprig from the castle in true colors. 'give him back.' is a cry of anger and remorse, its irrational, it's a tantrum. she wants him back, give him back.
AND DONT GET ME WRONG. THESE TWO SCENARIOS ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT, WHEREIN LIKE. THERES ANOTHER PARTY THREATENING THEM. but, in connection, I think its completely valid to think that Anne seemed to be the type of person who would have been more against the idea of never seeing them again, and by default, would have fought harder to find a way to be able to meet with the plantars, rather than just accept it and say their goodbyes. (I feel like this part is more so that the crew could fit everything into a 22 minute episode, since there's only so much you can do in this medium and not to mention the other *cough* things they have to consider.)
BUT WHATEVER!! WHATS HAPPENED HAPPENED. I said this was gonna be about post Amphibia Anne so here I go. only took me like 13 paragraphs to get here but WHATEVVEERRR THIS IS MY HOUSE LAY ON UR BED.
I think it's important for people to know that the reason this brainrot even happened was because of this dumb joke I have in my twitter drafts. give me a thumbs up if u get it. ignore the image it's hard to crop. (ok but legitimately if any of u get the joke please tell me bc my ass is on the edge of my seat trying to figure out if ANYONE GOT IT. EXPLANATION ON THE TIP OF MY TONGUE)
but basically, I think Anne post Amphibia would have been. gosh. I don't even know. it's hard to be in her position bc even if I do relate to her predicament very largely, it's not like I'm never seeing those people in my life again. it's also why Anne hits me so hard. just. getting used to being around people constantly, she's an only child who became an eldest sister. how do you deal with that being gone?
you will miss these people, you will miss them so badly that it feels like the hole in your chest will swallow you alive. but that doesn't stop the sun rising. doesn't stop the clock ticking, doesn't stop anyone from living, not even you
but. it's easier with time, at least
that gaping ache in your heart may never go really away, but they would want you to live and be happy even without them. as you probably feel the same in their case too. and youre reminded that the time you spent with them was real. and it mattered. you just never realized that you were making memories with them. you were just having fun.
and maybe that's enough of a reason for Anne to power through the moments where she misses them most. to remember that there are more memories to be made, with or without them, she’s grateful to have spent time with them at all. even if it does feel unfair, to not be in each other’s lives.
one last ramble about Anne and her career, haha. when I first watched the finale, I think this was the single most prominent gripe I had about it! Anne's road to herpetology. (as some of u might have known)
It felt like she's sticking herself to the past, that she can't move on. but going by the hcs of many and my own, of how she would have avoided everything that reminded her of Amphibia bc it hurt too much. I think it would be super fucking funny if there was a point where it just pissed her the fuck off. like. 'THATS IT. FINE. IF YOU DONT WANNA LEAVE ME. THEN ILL COME TO YOU.' and that's the story of how she came to having a breakdown when her vision for the amphibians sector at the aquarium was finished
I think Anne would have accepted and moved on by then. that she's doing this more so to look back on them fondly and a way to honor them through sharing the joy of their earth counterparts with other people.
and I wish. I really really wish and hope that she's genuinely happy with her job, and is content with it this way
I also think if by this point she was told theres a way for her to get back to Amphibia she would absolutely totally explode 100% but this is already ungodly long so that thought can be unpacked another time.ty for reading this far. if u did that ur insane <3
note: edited all this to be tumblr friendly and erase the mistakes or like... revised them. is that something you can do? i also added a bit more of my thoughts bc getting comprehensible on a rambly twitter thread is far more impossible with its character limit. again. thank u for reading :)
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Help me pay half of my exam fee (and make my dreams come true)
Hi Everyone! I am a 19-year-old student from South America and I´m asking for help to pay for half of my exam fee.
Economic context: To this day, my country is at the edge of living another monetary crisis. While prolonged inflation remained a constant problem since the Great Depression 20 years ago, people have started to fear another big crisis -one worse than anything the country has seen before-.
Personal context: Even though I am going to college to become a Sworn Translator, I also take classes in the evenings at a small institute for Trainee Teachers. Becoming a teacher is faster, and I hope to obtain my degree as an English teacher next year to start working and helping my mother and little sister. Despite not having to pay for college thanks to the Law of Common Education, I still have a part-time job on weekends to earn enough money to buy my books and materials.
What is the situation? This year on August 27th, I went to an expo for Sworn Translator students from all over the country. To attend, I had to spend what would be equivalent to 10 dollars, which may not seem like a lot, but it is what I make in a week. Today, I can say it was completely worth it. Not only did I learn a lot about my to-be profession, but I also won one of the raffles the hosts made at the end of the event. I could not believe my luck, since it was my first time winning something. At first, I thought my prize was going to be a book about translation (which would have been amazing anyways cuz those are hella expensive). However, it was even better than anything I could have imagined. I had won a half scholarship to sit for a translation exam from a British programme focused on language competence.
Why is this important? Passing this exam would give me a certificate of international validity, which means the possibility of finding a job abroad. To earn a salary in a currency as strong as the American Dollar or the Euro is something the people of my country can only dream about.
Why am I asking you for help? The thing is, I don't know how I will be paying for the other half of the exam fee. If I were to start saving money for this from my part-time job, It would take me at least two months to collect this amount; but I only have until the last day of September to enroll using the half scholarship. This is a once-in-a-life opportunity, and I don't want to waste it, but I don't know what else to do.
Thanks to the scholarship and what I had already saved, I am not far from my goal. While I can pay in my currency (pesos), the equivalent in dollars is about one hundred and eighty dollars ($ 180)
You can help me by donating "cafecitos" (little coffees) through this link:
Or via Paypal: [email protected]
I would have liked to use a more popular platform such as GoFundMe or Ko-fi, but they are not available in my country.
If you read all this, please consider helping me by sharing this post. By doing so, you are giving me the opportunity to change my life and make my dreams come true. To anyone who wishes to talk to me, my dms are always open.
P.S. The name of the page "Tradu-Siendo" is a homophonous pun in Spanish, my native language. While "Traduciendo" means "translating", "Siendo" meand being/to be. This is important to me because for me to be is to translate, and I can not imagine myself doing something else for life.
#go fund me#gofundme#ko fi donations#donations#make this go viral#make my dreams come true#share#please repost#translator#language#studies#college#sworn translator#Tradusiendo#Tradu siendo#Traduciendo
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fic writer asks!!! 🌈 🎀 💝 🍭 💎 ☯️ (i got. a bit excited ahfbsjfn)
Let's Get ((REAL)) fic writer asks
🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?
the upcoming zine fic my god i just wanted it to be so perfect because this was my first time committing to a word limit way above what i normally write, and it would be illustrated by someone i really admire— i really agonized over every word of that fic and kept deleting pages of it because i doubted it so much lol overall though, if i'm struggling with a prompt, i'll just delete large portions of it and rewrite entirely, if not from scratch until the flow finally kicks in and the words start to piece back together
💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
there are quite a few that i wrote as throwaways that spiked in notes which left me thoroughly bemused, but i have to say it's the potion!au one!!! that was a completely isolated prompt that i didn't expect to touch again after the twstober writing event, and i STILL get asks on it today!! it blows my mind how that resonated with so many of you- it wasn't one i was intending to world-build or even write more about, so i'm really happy that i've had the chance to explore it with everyone<3
🍭why did you start writing?
this is so lame, but i honestly can't recall. i've just always loved stories and i've always enjoyed writing/essay prompts for school when i was younger- pretty much all of my english classes would have us free-write for about 10 min of the period starting from when i was in 3rd grade, and that definitely fostered my joy for exploring new prompts and ideas. i think i was around 13 yro when i discovered fanfics, and that opened an entire new world where i learned that if i didn't like a scene in a book or how characters interacted.....i could just rewrite it and that completely blew my mind lol
💎why is writing important to you?
funnily enough, most of my writing could be considered vent pieces. i write to purge my emotions (positive and negative), and to validate for myself that i can still weave a story after abandoning the practice for a few years. it's a way of expression, and i enjoy having a partner along for the ride to grow with and from as we explore ideas together
☯️how do you think engaging with each other through tumblr, twitter, comments, kudos, creates healthy fandom experiences? How do you deal with that if you're not a social person/experience social anxiety?
i personally think the positive engagement outweighs the negative- i love being able share work from the community and go wild with praise in the tags, i think that everyone deserves to hear how their artwork/story/post touched their audience. in that same way, it's how we all get to trade ideas and build off each other's premises that gets fed back into the community until they take on lives of their own. it's amazing to see what a thriving fandom can create when there's so much affection for the content and those creating, it's something i've not been a part of before when most of the fandoms i've joined have been dead ones lol
i can't say that i have social anxiety, but i am a highly forgetful person when it comes to engagement ; A ; i'll see that someone reblogged my stuff or left a message with a highly insightful and sweet comment, and i'll get all excited to respond to them later.......and then later turns into several days because it completely slipped my mind and it's too late to acknowledge it now ; A ; im really bad at that, i can only keep a conversation up with like two people online before i get completely overwhelmed and neglect everything else ailfjiafd
#lettie's asks#kicks my feet excitedly#we just submitted zine previews#so hopefully those will get released soon so you all can get a sneak peek of The Horrors<3
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9/15/2023
Its Own Kind of Ambition
There’s a concept in advertising that tik-tak’d its little chitinous legs all the way up my spine and wrapped itself around my brain like the monster in the Vincent Price movie The Tingler. It’s called “extension” or “blow out” meaning any good idea needs to be blown out into an omnichannel message that has bespoke activations across its various platforms. What does this idea look like in social? What about on the website? This has so rewired my brain that I see everything big picture now.
There’s an anecdote I heard about the novelist David Morrell negotiating the movie rights to First Blood: Completely clueless about the process, Morrell got an entertainment lawyer on referral from a friend. Immediately, this lawyer includes sequel rights and merchandizing rights into Morrell’s contract. Morrell calls this lawyer and complains. “Sequels? He dies at the end. And he’s a murderous Vietnam vet, who’s buying lunchboxes of that?”
“You never know,” said the lawyer and, sure enough…
It’s fucking Rambo. You know the punchline.
This is a story meant to make the audience chuckle knowingly. To wipe their brows and phew for Mr. Morrell who almost missed the gravy train. I hear the story and get nostalgic for Morrell’s mindset. I miss when ideas were ideas and stories were stories. My brain too easily plays the lawyer, slickly looking at every idea and seeing lunchboxes, sequels, series, action figures.
I tell people that I started taking poetry “seriously” when I was a teenager. That’s when my normal weekend habit of going to my local coffeehouse open mic opened its trapdoor and dropped me into the competitive slam scene. At that age, the challenge of competition pushed me to write more creatively, more boldly, and more honestly. I wrote pieces with complex choreography about my parents’ divorce. I wrote poems about my very complicated relationship with masculinity (hold for laughs) and, for the most part, was rewarded for it.
Poets at every bout had books and CDs. I wrote enough poems to fill an album, a book, a “feature” at a coffeeshop or venue. I didn’t feel any internal charge for these parts of the process, I just noticed other poets doing it and, like smoking cigarettes and writing dirty haiku, I figured it was something I ought to be doing. Poets started talking about “publishing” and “submitting” to literary magazines and websites and prizes. I did that, too. Poets started slamming, competing with performances of their poems for randomized panels of judges for scores from 1 to 10. I did that, too. Ironically, this hobby rooted in authentic self-expression was pushing me to express myself in ways I wouldn’t have considered otherwise. This all eventually culminated in me writing myself into a burnout and a seven-year hiatus from writing poems.
I couldn’t sit down and write without, if you’ll pardon me for torturing the metaphor, thinking about the price of lunch boxes. How does this fit in a book? How does it sound live? What kind of scores would it get in Minneapolis? I was advertising years before I ever went to ad school. Since going to ad school, as explained above, only made those instincts sharper. Nowadays, whenever I flex my creative muscles, I risk cutting them on those instincts.
It’s only recently that I’ve been making a more concerted effort to break that habit. Writing for fun, writing only when I feel compelled to write, and writing without a long-term plan. It takes more effort than I’d like to admit, but I enjoy the process more. I have friends who I share things with. I have a community I write for. I no longer feel quite as hungry for recognition outside of myself.
I’m sure a lot of this new push has to be laid, like everything lately, at the altar of my transition. The hollow of my heart no longer seemed to plummet quite so deep once I figured out the fundamental wrong of my body. The hole used to rumble for things like recognition, validation, acknowledgment, striving for fulfillment. Now I realize all it needed was the truth, and the understanding that I was a woman.
The craft still matters. Every piece and thing I write still has to be good by my own metric. I am simply more gentle with myself. I submit to journals when I feel like it. I perform when I can. I no longer eat until my teeth break. I know longer write with ambition.
Save, of course, for the ambition to simply be happy.
Yours with an open mouth,
-B
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Intro: Loneliness
Dear whoever ends up reading this,
Nice to meet you! I'm Naomi, and I'd like to officially welcome you to my personal blog. ☀️
Originally, I had been posting these letter-styled posts using Blogger, and in Spanish because it’s my mother tongue. Then I decided to post them on Tumblr instead, and write them in English because… well, why not?
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve redesigned or made major changes to this thing, I’d be having a shopping spree by now.
Anyway, brace yourself for a journey full of my view on diverse topics, explained in the weirdest ways.
So. The day I had first written this particular entry was February 7th, 2023. The word "February" automatically makes me think of Valentine's Day every time, even right now. I mean, we're pretty much bombarded with propaganda surrounding love and common gifts, like chocolates, around that time of the year from the day we're born since the Industrial Revolution, so it makes sense to see it that way, right? You know, like how we associate December with Christmas. Well, unless you don't celebrate it due to religious or cultural differences, of course, but you get the Christian version of the picture.
Ironically, I had been thinking a lot about how lonely life gets once you realize that, after all, you're not just an extension of your mother, but your own individual person. And it's a process most of us don't even remember going through, because we were babies the moment it happened.
My elders used to say something about this along the lines of "you are the only person that will be with you for the rest of your life". Which isn't a bad thing at all, it's actually great news for the self-love industry!
Kidding.
Though, this way of viewing life can get a little sad if you think about it enough. Like, we can't even consider it a fact that our parents, unconditional love and all, will be with us forever in most cases. And I'm not just talking about them passing away before we do, or moving out and far from them. In my own personal experience, for instance, there have been a few times when my mom and I had big fights that convinced me for a week or so that I'd lost her. So, we can't really take anyone for granted, not even the ones who have the responsibility to deal with us.
I may have described a very specific type of case, but it's still a grain of sand in the desert of statistics.
Back to the point, since I share about fifty Facebook memes a week, I can no longer find this one that described how being in your early 20s can get ✨ supalonely ✨, as Benee kindly put it, because your childhood friends become busy with college, work, fitness, relationships, and, well, trying to put their lives together. Or something like that, I have long-term memory issues on top of that.
Never in my life have I been part of a large group of friends to assure you this is completely true, but I've heard that it's normal for those to start going their separate ways during this period due to conflicting schedules, get-togethers that can never take place, falling out of touch, growing apart due to differences, etc., and so most are left with only a third of the people they used to hang out with.
I mean, it's totally valid to drop a relationship with someone that no longer vibes with you as you continue to grow as a person, and there's also people like me who kinda don't like (hate) messenger apps and are difficult to stay in touch with, but if it's so easy for someone to stop talking to you even if it's just to ask how you're doing once a month and leaving it there, I guess you just weren't really destined to be friends.
People can choose to prioritize themselves or other aspects of their lives before us as their friends, which sounds awful, but it's good for them and a part of life, too. Like EXO's D.O. sung, «people come and people go» - literally the only Love Shot lyric I can quote as someone who can't speak Korean yet.
On the other hand… this is more of my biological father’s point of view, but as a man in his 40s that still has solid 10+ year friendships with more than 10 people, I'd believe in him when he says that true friends would never be "too busy" to make plans with you. Then again, he also said humans could healthily live off 5 hours of daily sleep once, regardless that there are actual studies that prove otherwise… sometimes, and only sometimes, I am worried for that man.
As of this year, I'd say I'm in that very situation in which most people you've met sort of moved on past you, and you're no longer aware of what's going on in their lives. There are no more than 10 people I can consider close to me because I don't go out that often - too expensive! -, paired with my eternal problem with messenger apps. And the funniest part is 4 of these potential 10 people are family members, plus my boyfriend, whom I've been living with for a year now so he's technically the only one I speak to daily.
And it's not like making new friends is that easy where I live. Not for me, at least, thanks to being too weird for the average person.
When moving into a new school, a new town, a new anything, it's easy to feel like people just don't want to add any new close friends to their list - and I don't mean the IG ones. I can't be the only one who has experienced fewer instances of making new lasting friends than those where the other person is never the first one to strike a conversation, or straight up ignores me, while I keep making the effort to send them messages every so often to stay in touch, and then one day I stop putting in the work and the other person doesn't even budge. As they say, better alone than in bad company, huh?
The more the latter case happens, it eventually becomes exhausting to be nice to people that most likely will forget all about you as soon as you stop trying to connect with them.
It sounds sappy, but, I don't know, last time I was able to find someone I could have an actual, deep connection with happened when I met one of my two closest friends, Yaris. We met online actually, and hit it off immediately! To a point where we just sort of accepted that the two of us will grow old together along with our common friend, Nin.
Luckily, there still are nice souls out there like my ex-coworker, Angel, who wishes me a Feliz Jueves every Thursday up to this day. I haven't even watched Neon Genesis Evangelion to understand the meme/reference, but appreciate the thought a lot!
Can't blame people for being cautious nowadays, though. I partly understand why someone would be hesitant to welcome a new face into their lives, considering most of us don't really know what others' true intentions are when approaching us, and that I've even insulted people (mostly men) over that - to be fair, you'd be surprised at the amount of dudes in my country sliding into pretty girls' DMs literally only to test their luck with their crappy rizz.
As if it couldn't get any worse, being able to meet a new friend isn't the most challenging part; it's the one that follows, talking. Imagine, maybe both parties do want to get closer to each other, but neither one or the other person knows what to say, or there might not be enough trust between them to tell for sure what can be shared and what not. Ideally, of course, you'd want to avoid that, and get yourself friends you can be your authentic self around and have all sorts of conversations with.
You could say that what ultimately inspired me to expose myself to the endless possibilities of the Internet by sharing my thoughts and feelings online was a combination of my love for writing stuff, my little regard for what people think and a dash of loneliness due to being physically isolated from humans with my dropping out of college and landing a work-from-home job, along with the previously mentioned stuff that's made me less keen on socializing ofc.
I could've used the journal my boyfriend gifted me a while back to do this, or post shorter, almost cryptic versions of these in X (Twitter), but I had always wanted to have a blog very specifically. I just didn't know what to write about up until earlier this year.
Now, Blogger has been an awesome platform to work with, but time constraints require me to opt for one that's more accessible for… well, anyone. So why not create a space here where I can express myself and maybe even find or inspire others that might be feeling the same way?
But yeah, that's the line of thinking that led me to inaugurate a blog with a pen-pal × music playlists theme going on.
I really really hope you enjoy your time here, and can't wait to hear from you one day!
Until next time 🌝
- N
#loneliness#thinking#feelings#socializing#blog#might delete later#blogger#spotify#lonelihood#valentines day#blog intro#intro post#friends#friendship#Spotify
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Yeah I totally know , I think women can love and feel deeper in general just because we are mother's, daughter's, and sisters we bond stronger because of years of evolution we are better care givers & sympathizers. I love to make my life harder than it needs to be, my creativity steams from pain & when I'm hurt is when I feel the most real. But I'm still afraid of it because I used to not take care of my pain properly & didn't know how to cope with it so I'd suffer & not take anything from it - -but now I know what good can come of bad & I know how to protect myself when needed even if I do build a wall more often than I probably ought to I no longer do it to the point where I become completely numb. I am glad to hear you're sweet & rough, my favorite combination. ❤❤❤
Aw good that makes me feel very nice ! I would love to share with you some of my writing, I have books of it but that page was the only one anyone has ever seen of it before. Yeah I can wrap my head around sorrow a lot better than happiness. I feel like I deserve pain more than happiness so when I do feel happy I'm usually trying to find a way to sabotage that & I've done some pretty fucked up shit just to hurt myself. I am different now though I feel , I have had to learn through years of being
Stuck in my own head how to avoid hurting people around me & instead just effect myself. I used to be really good at ruining relationships before I really understood the fact that I have unbalanced chemicals in my brain & now I try really hard to focus on growing relationships with people I love & care about positively because I know what it means to be ugly & hurt & I don't want people I consider family or friends to feel that way. I think the only way to be truly happy is if you've truly been
Unhappy & of course there is no light without the dark & everyone suffers on their own levels & it is all valid but I tend to be more attracted to people who have really been through the ringer just because I can relate to that on such a deeper level since that's been the majority of my young adult life. Most people don't know what to do when you have bad days & I don't really ever expect people to handle me well when I'm bad but that's just because I often don't handle my own self well during
Those times. Yeah I have a pretty cynical outlook on the majority of human beings. There are a handful of accaptions where I meet a phenomenal person & that is what I think makes this wild life worth it
I love having conversations like this with people like you, it's a rare thing to come by for me. I rest my head on the glory of sorrow & more people find that hard to swallow so when someone can relate it makes me feel a little less lonely. That's exactly what I think I need to start doing. I have more words going through my head than I will ever be able to articulate but most of the time people think I just don't have words to say but the case usually is I just don't want to be the one to speak
Them. I'm not one for small talk so I tend to keep it short until someone mentions something that Sparks my interest but I want to try to be the one to open others up instead of waiting for someone else to. I just don't handle misunderstanding well so I can get offended if someone interprests something I say wrong espically when I'm opening up the parts of myself that I actually need to put effort into in order to reveal them. I will try to make them understand where I'm coming from but if in
The end they still can't seem to comprehend that's when I know I can't get along with them in a sense of how I'd want to be able to get along with people I choose to spend my time w. & That's when I can get bitchy also because I have little patience for people who have had it easy & haven't been exposed to real shit. But I just need to remember that it's not usually their fault & I think no matter how well one can word their thoughts people who've never experienced something similar will never
Be able to actually understand & all that I really am looking for in people is the ability to empathize. I totally feel like I can convey my feelings much more effectively through art. People can have more time to see what it means & truly think about it. Often in verbal conversation people are not mentally present & as soon as someone is finished saying something , rather than thinking about what they just said, they are thinking of what they will say next & that's where I think miscommunication
Comes in & where people get hurt when they put emotion into their words & notice the other person has thrown that away.
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Freshman Year
stoner!Atsumu x f!innocent!reader x stoner!Suna ft stoner!Osamu
warnings: Drug (weed), gangbang, oral (giving), anal, dubcon, fucking whilst high, university!au, sex tape, cockwarming, corruption kink, sleepy writing
words: 1.8k
To say you were inexperienced, naive and artless, they weren’t wrong. You’re the last person who would cheat on their essay and cause yet another headache to your lecturer. You’re the classic ‘goodie two shoes’ as Atsumu calls you, the same couldn’t be said about both Miya twins and Suna, however.
They are anything but good.
You should’ve listened to those whispers of warnings and rumours that made their way around the campus, how they’re the last people you’d want to get involved with despite their popularity among students. You either love them or hate them, there’s no in-between with valid reasons.
You don’t belong in their world, you know that. But it doesn’t stop Suna from wanting to strip the innocent of you. Maybe it's the way you smiled nervously at him or maybe the glare you gave Atsumu whenever he made those snarky comments, but one thing for sure is that he wants to show you what you’ve been missing.
“Suna...” It almost came out as a whine whilst your head fell back against his shoulder, dark iris swallowing those rings of colours whilst your lips parted delicately with a cute pout. “Hmm? What’s wrong?” He coo, arm resting snuggly and comfortably around your waist as he pulls you even closer to press a kiss on your temple. Chilling at the Miya’s with Suna and his friends has become a regular thing ever since your first proper encounter with him at the party, where your friend ditched you for another guy. Perhaps you should’ve seen through him before accepting his offer to keep your company that night, maybe then you could’ve avoided whatever this is between you and Suna. But would you’ve pushed him away if given the chance?
“Wan’ more...” You whimpered, earning a chuckle from the man as he peppered your cheeks with few more playful kisses before pulling away. “What do you want, princess? C’mon, use your words” Suna love to see it when you’re desperate like this in his arms, staring up at him with those bleary eyes, cheeks flustered and small hands trembling as you grasp at his jacket with wants. “Mmn... smoke... wan’ more of smoke...” You slurred between each hitched breath of yours, feeling a few pairs of eyes glued onto the both of you as Suna leaned closer after taking a drag of his blunt before letting the heavy white smoke slips past your plump lips like weightless velvet. Oh, if only you knew how alluring you are when taking every ounce of the fumes from him greedily. Close enough for both of your lips to slot together, but far away enough for a grin to tug at his lips before pulling away. “Still not used to taking it on your own hm?” Or maybe you just adore these tingles dancing against your skin every time Suna shotguns it to you, as if he’s feeding you his essence in the most sexual way possible.
“Ya babying her too much, Suna. Gonna end up spoiling her.” Atsumu wasn’t wrong, ever since his friend introduced you to an unfamiliar world of ecstasy, he has you wrapped around his fingers like a puppy on a leash. “Why not, jealous Tsumu?” You could barely listen to their conversation as a giggle slipped past your lips, Suna could still remember the time you took your first hit. Trying to copy him only for those bitter smoke tickles your throat, making you cough with tears swelling from your eyes. It was cute though, he praised you for being a good girl, done so well on your first try as he wiped away those tears before wrapping those legs around your waist to give you the fucking of your life and the rest was history.
It was Suna who got you addicted to... him.
“You bet, how come she’s always hanging off your arm when you guys aren’t even together?” Astumu scoffed as shifts from his seat, watching from the opposite sofa with a frown over his defined features. It is unfair really, how you’ve chosen Suna over anyone else. Atsumu would love to slips his arms around you once in a while too, playing with those pretty lips of yours whilst you get drunk of him instead.
Despite no strings attached between you and Suna, shaking your head no as soon as he mumbles softly under his breath, beckoning you to go sit with Atsumu but no — you didn’t want to. “Nnu...Wanna stay...” Instead, your grip tightens on the fabric of his jacket, snuggling further into him until your head is buried at the crook of his neck.
If only you’re sober enough to see the faint but taunting smug smile Suna have stretched across his lips as he shrugged at his friend, guiding you to sit properly on his lap instead with your back facing Atsumu. “Better luck next time.”
God knows how long you’ve been sitting like this, legs folded on either side of Suna’s lap as you rest against his broad shoulder. Pins and needles crawl up your numb legs, shifting with an uncomfortable whine. To think Suna would waste a perfect opportunity like this, you’d be wrong, especially when all if most of his companions are high off their heads to even notice what the two of you’re about to do. “Baby, want my cock?” Suna isn’t subtle about it either, bulge poking at your clothed core. The mention of his cock was enough to have your clouded mind runs wild, grinding against his clothes erection with an eager nod. This wouldn’t be the first time you’ve cockwarm Suna in front of other souls like this, Tsumu would shuffle towards the both of your and join in occasionally. Shotgunning you with his own blunt whilst lazily as he jerks off to your moans and tangle bodies. “What happened to the sweet innocent princess we knew?
As the time you spend with Suna and the Miya twins grew, so did your confidence. Becoming more familiar with the substance than you originally were, however. It was naive of you to think you could do this properly on your own without Suna here to keep you out of trouble because you’re a big girl who knows how to take care of herself. But instead, you have taken a pretty big hit, blame Atsumu. It was his idea to lower the amount of tobacco this time around, instead of feeling the familiar high you have with Suna; this is something way stronger.
How did you end up atop of Tsumu with his cock buried deep inside your dripping cunt, you have no idea. Only remembering fragments of things he had said to you prior to this, “Suna aren’t here is he? Shame. Let me be Suna tonight for ya, baby. Ride me inside, bet I could treat ya better than ‘im, c’mon baby, don’t be shy. It’s not like he’s ya boyfrien’ or anythin’.” That’s all you could remember before a snap of Atsumu’s hips snapped you out of your thought, drawing a meal from your lips. “C’mon, baby. Don’t hide that pretty voice from me now.”
Atsumu’s little plan would’ve been a success if it wasn’t for Osamu, consider it payback. Call him selfish if you want, but seeing his twin brother knocking the breath out of your lungs sparks his jealousy. Sure he could’ve joined in easily but what’s the fun in that?
Suna has been stood by the door for a while now, watching as you desperately bounces on Atsumu’s cock and moaning his name between each of those sloppy kisses. But still, that stoic face remained unbothered, maybe a twitch here and there but nothing major, the completely opposite of what Samu thought he would do. After all, despite Suna saying he doesn’t care nor does he wants you, everyone knows how much he cares for you enough to keep you around for as long as he has. Instead, Suna approached the two of you. Yanking your head up those sweaty locks of yours whilst you could barely register the shift in his eyes, “You knew this was gonna happen didn’t you? Just wanted an excuse to fuck Tsumu.”
He wasn’t wrong, both Miya twins shares the same face and it is hared to ignore their handsome features after all.
Osamu was dumbfounded when Suna positioned himself behind you instead, not only did he not have a good go at Tsumu but at the end decide to join too before prepping your rear end the best way he can before inching in, frowning as he does. “Fuck... just as I expected. You’re so fucking, right baby”
Neither one of them paid attention to Samu before Suna caught him palming at his jeans, only then did he come closer with his cock freed with one hand whilst the other holding a phone and hit record. You should see the way your lips parts whenever you’re close or the complete fucked our expression that suits you so well, no worries though; Samu will keep a good record seeing as how well you take all three of them together with Samu’s cock lodge deeply down your throat, stuffing you full with all ends.
At least this time you are not the only one who’s slurring nonsense as you came, Tsumu was the first one to pump you full of his cum first then it was Samu and lastly Suna. Showering you in praises and kisses before the younger Miya twin decides to take up the aftercare duty upon himself since Tsumu has already blacked out and Suna doesn’t look that far off either with the remaining blunt in his hand.
Samu is the gentlest of them all, washing you carefully as though you’re a glass doll. Having you put on one of his shirts and setting you on the kitchen counter whilst he cooks, earning small nods and hums from you whenever he asks you a question. Samu’s surprise you even managed to hold yourself this well before finally crashing against his shoulder, it was a struggle to get you to eat some food and drink some water but he did anyway.
Only for Suna to snatch you away again with a wave of his hand and a pat on his lap, you practically scrambled out from Samu’s arms and into Suna’s chest. Snuggling comfortably against him with a content smile on your face.
At the end of the day, you are Suna’s precious little princess. He’s the one who shown how to roll a joint, how to smoke from a bong and be a little rebellious. The Miyas twins could hook up with you as many times as they want, but he knows you’d be running back to him as soon as it is over.
Tag list: @m-mortimer @selfishwitch @sleepyrintaro @cxnicalsweetheart
#haikyuu smut#hq smut#osamu x reader#suna x reader#atsumu x reader#osamu smut#suna smut#atsumu smut#hq 🏐#tw’gangbang#tw’corruption#tw’dubcon#tw’drug#this been on my mind while fucking day#been screaming at izzie about it and I’m just#I WAMT STONER SUNA TO WRECK ME
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I've had your answer to the that ask about downloading ao3 fics rattling around in my brain for a few days now and something keeps bugging me.
Your fics get a ton of love, but people also download fics from lesser known writers, and that's a whole different thing. When people download stories instead of reading off ao3 they're giving 1 hit and probably 0 kudos or comments. For some authors, even a handful of kudoses is HUGE. The only thing they hope to get out of posting their work is some paltry statistical validation and you (as a respected author in the community) is kinda sanctioning just skipping that.
Just something to think about.
I actually didn’t realize this was a fandom discourse topic; if I’d known, I wouldn't have said anything about it. By nature, I’m a consensus seeker. Arguing deeply stresses me out. I generally don’t engage in online discourse, so I wasn’t going to answer this, but it’s been rattling around in my brain, too.
Thoughts below the break are about creativity and mental health, not fandom discourse. If you’re just here to have horny fandom fun and don’t care about the psychology of creative work, carry on, my friends! I salute your non-attachment!
I appreciate that you consider me a respected author in this community, Anon; I take that very seriously. I’m not going to speak to downloading. I'm going to offer a whole bunch of words of support and solidarity on a tangential subject to people who might find them useful.
First and foremost, I affirm that while this is, on the one hand, a wizard porn hobby, it’s also creative sharing, and creative sharing is vulnerable.
What strikes me about this ask is the underlying anxiety I see reflected where art collides with publicly visible engagement metrics in social media. AO3 has some features that, while in no way intended to exploit human psychological vulnerabilities for corporate profit, mirror social media engagement functions which do serve that purpose. The negative mental health impacts of those tools are the subject of a lot of research.
We're open to corporate exploitation through social media because we want to be seen. We want to be validated. Those are deeply ingrained, biologically based desires, and have always been reflected in our creative lives. It’s completely natural and normal to want eyes on your work. It’s natural and normal to sit at the nexus of creative work and quantified public attention and feel proud, anxious, satisfied, rejected, critical, fulfilled, frustrated, jealous, slighted…any and all of it.
Often I see people minimize or invalidate these emotions in themselves and others: jealousy is unevolved and petty and shameful. Anxiety is a weakness. Self-criticism is neurotic. We see a lot of: keep your eyes on your own work. Toughen up. Grow a thicker skin. Go touch some grass.
Actually “go touch some grass” is possibly the world’s most constructive insult. Back to that in a second.
The problem with “get a thicker skin” is: what does that even mean? It’s like “calm down.” If you can get past the frank invalidation: how?
Creative people are often sensitive. That’s part of the deal. You get rid of the sensitivity, and for a lot of people, you get rid of the ability to incisively perceive, carefully observe, deeply empathize, do thoughtful perspective taking, all of which is critical to creating real, resonant art. So we don’t want to necessarily grow a thick skin. We want to figure out how to stay open, to make genuine, authentic things, and move through the inevitable ups and downs of making and sharing creative work with grace and dignity. This is where having a cognitive or spiritual practice is really helpful.
I’ve struggled with depression my entire adolescent and adult life, and possibly the single most powerful tool I have in my kit is the super basic practice of naming a feeling when it comes up. That’s it.
Envious. Or, prideful. Ashamed. Whatever it is. You don’t try to escape it, hold on to it, solve it, push it away, pull it close, cling, shove, unravel it, change it. Just label it. Simple, foundational practice. Probably the most commonly taught visual tool is to imagine thoughts like white clouds passing over a blue sky. You’re not doing a damn thing about a cloud. It just is, and in a moment will not be. You're not sitting there railing at, trying to fight, judging, grabbing at, fretting about a white cloud. You watch it pass.
This tiny concept felt important to put out there. I haven’t personally seen it expressed in fandom. It’s okay to feel bad because no one’s reading your work. That’s a normal, expected response to working hard on something and having few people or no one appreciate it. And sure, write for yourself, yes, but you're also allowed to take a moment to sit with any grief, embarrassment, bitterness, frustration, whatever comes up for you if your piece isn't received how you hoped it would be. Give it a name. Witness it.
I have other tools. If kudos and comments are negatively impacting my fandom experience, I can turn off the kudos email, turn off comments on fics, limit my posting platforms, and/or get a site skin that hides those metrics so they’re less present for me. I can block people who bum me out, take a break from or leave social media groups and sites that feel icky to me, for any reason. And when I’m really in my head, I do need to go touch some grass. Close the laptop, turn off the phone, take a walk, play a board game, pivot to another creative hobby, volunteer somewhere, see a show. I seek out what feeds me up, and especially those things that orient my focus away from myself and towards generosity, kindness, graciousness and a more expansive awareness of others and their needs and challenges.
It helps me in every area of my life to stay focused on what I can control. None of us is going to get a gold medal in Fandom Discourse. And yet, people are going to discourse like their lives depend on it. People are going to hit that download button without leaving a kudo or comment. People will hate my work and say so in a public forum. They'll say so to my inbox. Sometime in the next year, someone’s masterfully written fic will be lauded on a massive scale in fandom and go zooming to the first page by kudos, and it won’t be mine.
As Kurt Vonnegut wrote so beautifully: so it goes.
I do get to work in constructive ways with my own feelings. I get to honor my pathetically naked artist’s heart by bearing witness to its cycles of emotion in non-judgment and non-attachment. Small, simple practices can liberate me from bitterness and resentment towards myself and others, and accomplish what’s most important to me, which is protecting my time and mental health, maintaining a realistic perspective on fandom and my experience within it, being genuinely supportive of others’ success, and keeping the wellspring of creativity flowing. None of us can control who validates our creative work and how. We do have the tools to honor the related feelings that pass through us.
I'm unlikely to comment any further on fandom discourse topics. I've written this purely out of a sincere hope that it might be useful to someone who’s feeling discouraged. You’re fine. You’re normal. You’re not taking anything too seriously, or blowing anything out of proportion. You're a human with the drive to show other people your weird, pulpy insides, and that genuinely sucks sometimes. Be kind to yourself.
XOXO
PR
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Jumping off @kidrat ’s recent post on JKR, British transphobia, and transphobia against transmasculine people, after getting a bit carried away and too long to add as a comment:
A major, relatively undiscussed event in JKR’s descent into full terfery was this tweet:
[image id: a screenshot of a tweet from JK Rowling reading: “’People who menstruate.’ I’m sure there used to be a word for those people. Someone help me out. Wumben? Wimpund? Woomud?”
Rowling attaches a link to an article titled: “Opinion: Creating a more equal post-COVID-19 world for people who menstruate” /end id]
This can seem like a pretty mundane TERF talking point, just quibbling over language for the sake of it, but I think it’s worth discussing, especially in combination with the idea that cis women like JKR see transmasculine transition as a threat to their womanhood. (Recite it with horror: ”If I were young now, I might’ve transitioned...”)
A lot of people, pro- or anti-transphobe, will make this discussion about whether the term “woman” should include trans women or not, and how cis women are hostile to the inclusion of trans women. And that’s absolutely true. But the actual language cis women target is very frequently being changed for the benefit of trans men, not trans women, and most of them know this.
Cis people are used to having their identities constantly reaffirmed and grounded in their bodies. A lot of cis women, specifically, understand their social and physical identities as women as being defined by pain: misogynistic oppression is equated to the pains of menstruation or childbirth, and both are seen as the domain of cis women. They’re something cis women can bond over and build a “sisterhood” around, and the more socially aware among them can recognise that cis women’s pain being taken less seriously by medicine is not unrelated to their oppression. However, in the absence of any trans perspectives, these conversations can also easily become very territorial and very bioessentialist.
Therefore... for many cis women, seeing “female bodies” described in gender neutral language feels like stripping their pain of its meaning, and they can become very defensive and angry.
And the consequences for transmasculine people can be extremely dangerous.
Not only do transmasculine people have an equal right to cis women to define our bodies as our own... Using inclusive language in healthcare is about more than just emotional validation.
The status quo in healthcare is already non-inclusive. When seeking medical help, trans people can expect to be misgendered and to have to explain how our bodies work to the doctors. We risk harassment, pressure to detransition, pressure to sterilise ourselves, or just being outright turned away. And the conversation around pregnancy and abortion in particular is heaving with cisnormativity - both feminist and anti-feminist cis women constantly talk about pregnancy as a quintessentially female experience which men could never understand.
Using gender-neutral language is the most basic step possible to try and make transmasculine people safer in healthcare, by removing the idea that these are “women’s spaces”, that men needing these services is impossible, and that safety depends on ideas like “we’re all women here”. Not institutionally subjecting us to misgendering and removing the excuse to outright deny us treatment is, again, one of the most basic steps that can be taken. It doesn’t mean we’re allowed comfort, dignity or full autonomy, just that one major threat is being addressed. The backlash against this from cis women is defending their poorly developed senses of self... at the cost of most basic dignity and safety for transmasculine people.
Ironically, though transphobic cis women feel like decoupling “women’s experiences” from womanhood is decoupling them from gendered oppression, transmasculine people experience even more marginalisation than cis women. Our rates of suicide and assault are even higher. Our health is even less researched than cis women’s. Our bodies are even more strictly controlled. Cis women wanting to define our bodies on their terms is a significant part of that. They hold the things we need hostage as “women’s rights”, “women’s health”, “women’s discussions” and “support for violence against women”, and demand we (re-)closet ourselves or lose all of their solidarity.
Fundamentally, the problem is that transphobic cis women are possessive over their experiences and anyone who shares them. Because of their binary understanding of gender, they’re uncomfortable with another group sharing many of their experiences but defining themselves differently. They’re uncomfortable with transmasculine people identifying “with the enemy” instead of “with their sisters”, and they’re even more uncomfortable with the idea that there are men in the world who they oppress, and not the other way around. “Oppression is for women; you can’t call yourself a man and still claim women’s experiences. Pregnancy is for women; if you want to be a man so badly why haven’t already you done something about having a woman’s body? How dare you abandon the sisterhood while inhabiting one of our bodies?”
Which brings me back to the TERF line about how “If I were young now, I might have transitioned.”
I’m not saying Rowling doesn’t actually feel any personal connection to that narrative - but it is a standard line, and it’s standard for a reason. Transphobic cis women really believe that there is nothing trans men go through that cis women don’t. They equate our dysphoria to internalised misogyny, eating disorders, sexual abuse or other things they see as “female trauma”. They equate our desire to transition to a desire to escape. They want to “help us accept ourselves” and “save us” from threats to their sense of identity. The fact is, this is all projection. They refuse to consider that we really have a different internal experience from them.
There’s also a marked tendency among less overtly transphobic cis women, even self-proclaimed trans allies, to make transphobia towards trans men about cis women.
Violence against trans men is chronically misreported and redefined as “violence against women”. In activist spaces, we’re frequently told that any trauma we have with misogyny is “misdirected” and therefore “not really about us”. If we were women, we would’ve been “experiencing misogyny”, but men can’t do that, so we should shut up and stop “talking over women”. (Despite the surface difference of whether they claim to affirm our gender, this is extremely similar to how TERFs tell us that everything we experience is “just misogyny”, but that transmasculine identity is a delusion that strips us of the ability to understand gender or the right to talk about it.)
I have personally witnessed an actual N*zi writing an article about how trans men are “destroying the white race” by transitioning and therefore becoming unfit to carry children, and because the N*zi had misgendered trans men in his article, every response I saw to it was about “men controlling women’s bodies”.
All a transphobe has to do is misgender us, and the conversation about our own oppression is once again about someone else.
Transphobes will misgender us as a form of violence, and cis feminist “allies” will perpetuate our misgendering for rhetorical convenience. Yes, there is room to analyse how trans men are treated by people who see us as women - but applying a simple “men oppressing women” dynamic that erases our maleness while refusing to even name transphobia or cissexism is not that. Trans men’s oppression is not identical to cis women’s, and forcing us to articulate it in ways that would include cis women in it means we cannot discuss the differences.
It may seem like I’ve strayed a long way from the original topic, and I kind of have, but the central reason for all of these things is the same:
Trans men challenge cis women’s self-concept. We force them to actually consider what manhood and womanhood are and to re-analyse their relationship to oppression, beyond a simple binary patriarchy.
TERFs will tell you themselves that the acknowledgement of trans people, including trans men, is an “existential threat” that is “erasing womanhood” - not just our own, but cis women’s too. They hate the idea that biology doesn’t determine gender, and that gender does not have a strict binary relationship to oppression. They’re resentful of the idea that they could just “become men”, threatened by the assertion that doing so is not an escape, and completely indignant at the idea that their cis womanhood could give them any kind of power. They are, fundamentally, desperate not to have to face the questions we force them to consider, so they erase us, deflect from us, and talk over us at every opportunity.
Trans men are constantly redefined against our wills for the benefit of cis womanhood.
TL;DR:
Cis women find transmasculine identity threatening, because we share experiences that they see as foundational to their womanhood
The fact that transphobes target inclusive language in healthcare specifically is not a mistake - They do not want us to be able to transition safely
Cis women are uncomfortable acknowledging transphobia, so they make discussion of trans men’s oppression about “womanhood” instead
This can manifest as fully denying that trans men experience our own oppression, or as pretending trans men’s experiences are identical to cis women’s in every way
#transphobia#transmasculinity#transandrophobia#this could maybe do with one more proofread but i've spent way too long on this so whatever!
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always (l.r.h)
a/n: hi everyone! this is a lil angsty piece i wanted to get up. i just want to say again how sorry i am for not getting anything up for the past two weeks, i’ve just been overwhelmed with some stuff for my classes, but i am starting to get back in the swing of things now. also, this is unedited as i was rushing to get it up in time. i do plan on posting something else tomorrow night and hopefully i’ll be posting pretty consistently from now on. also this does end kind of abruptly but i wanted to leave it like that because i’m a sucker for angst, with that being said i would be happy to write a part two if that’s something you’d be interested in. anyway, feedback and comments are appreciated as always and i hope you’re all having an amazing day/night. enjoy! - emmy <33
pairing: luke hemmings x fem!reader
summary: luke recounts his mistake and hopes he can patch things up with his always.
warnings: very brief mention of sex, cursing, mentions of alcohol, luke’s being an asshole, mention of pinching (idk), slight insecurity from the reader, lots of angst :(
word count: 2.6k
Luke had always hated the quiet. That’s when his thoughts were the loudest. That must be why he had never really liked being alone with himself.
Tonight in particular, his thoughts were practically screaming, one word over and over again.
“Y/n”
For the past two years that name had acted as his most favorite word, one that he would utter whenever he had gotten the chance. Whether it be to brag about your recent accomplishments to his friends, to catch your attention from another room, or falling from his lips with a sigh of pleasure as he reached completion with you laying breathlessly beneath him.
Now the word seemed torturous, the last time he uttered it replaying on a relentless loop in his head.
It was your 2nd anniversary. Dinner had been laid out on the table for an hour. Two glasses of wine sat untouched in front of a vase of roses you had picked out at the florist earlier that morning, and there was no sign of Luke.
You were wracking through your brain as you watched a petal fall from a rose and land lightly in one of the glasses.
Had you gotten the time wrong?
But you were sure that the two of you had agreed on 8:00 for dinner, that way you had time to get everything ready after getting home from work, and Luke wouldn’t have to rush to leave the studio.
Yet somehow you found yourself staring at the now cold dinner at 9:30, with absolutely no word from Luke. You wanted to call, if for no other reason than to check he was still alive and breathing, but your nerves stopped you from doing that, not wanting to take on the role of the overbearing girlfriend.
Your stomach growled hungrily over the light music that was playing through the house speakers. So, begrudgingly you took a bite of the pasta on your plate before downing your entire glass of wine.
Luke arrived home about 2 hours later, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand. He caught sight of the table, with one setting completely untouched as he hung up his coat, causing guilt to pang in his chest.
“Baby,” he called out, carrying himself to your shared bedroom.
When no response came his heart rate sped up in fear that you had left.
“Y/n” he called, louder this time with a sense of urgency clear in his voice.
That’s when he spotted a person sized lump underneath the duvet. Releasing a sigh of relief he moved towards you, peeling the blankets off and leaving a soft kiss on your shoulder.
This caused you to stir a bit, eyes fluttering open to meet him.
“Hi, my love.” he cooed.
A frown was prominent on your face, and a crease separated your eyebrows as they furrowed angrily.
“I’m sorry I’m late. We got a bit carried away in the studio, but in good news the album is coming along great. M’so excited for you to hear it”
You had always tried to be understanding of Luke’s job for many reasons. One being that you both reaped the benefit of his success, you wanted for essentially nothing, had a nice house, the opportunity to travel, and Luke often spoiled you with gifts even if you asked him not to. Another being how happy it made your boyfriend. Music truly was his passion, and he was so talented that you wouldn’t want for him to ever put his work on the back burner for you.
With that being said, you made a point to take time off to spend time with him whenever you were able to. You had even changed jobs because your last one hadn’t allowed you to go on tour with him, which he had been adamant about, insisting, “There’s no way I can be away from you for that long.”
And you were happy to do all of those things, because you were in love, and you felt incredibly lucky to even be a part of his world. But you did start to question things as your relationship went on. It felt like Luke didn’t even consider your job. He only saw it as something that took you away from him.
You had worked hard to get where you were in the occupational field. Without your job all you would have to do is sit around and wait for Luke to be ready for you, and you just couldn’t live like that.
Luke turned on the lamp on your nightstand as you slowly sat up in bed.
“2 weeks Luke, we’ve had these plans for two weeks.”
“I know baby I tried, but you know how it is when inspiration strikes.” he dismissed while sitting the flowers on the ground.
“No, I don’t. Do you not think that I have things I could be doing for work? Cause I do, and I choose this over all of that.” you huffed in frustration.
Luke took a deep breath while subtly rolling his eyes.
“Y/n, I’m sorry for missing dinner, but you don’t understand the pressure I’m under, from the fans, the label, management, and the band.”
“I know that you work hard and I know how important this is to you, and I’m so proud of you, but I’m proud of us too and I would’ve liked to have a night for just us.” you tried to explain. “Not to mention the fact that I’m under pressure in my job too and I always find time for you, no matter what.”
“Yea, you have pressure from a job that you don’t need.” his voice rising in anger with each word as he paced around the room.
“How many times do I have to tell you Luke? It’s my job, it’s a part of my life and I don’t plan on giving it up anytime soon.” you shouted.
“Great.” he replied sarcastically. “Then you should understand that I won’t give up my job anytime soon.”
“I’m not asking you to, I’m just asking for a bit of consideration, and just a sliver of your time.”
“I’m working to make us more money.” he stated.
“Luke, we don’t need any more money. You should be working because you enjoy it and because it’s your passion.”
He let out a condescending laugh before turning to look in your eyes.
“Yea, well you don’t seem to mind all the money when you're sitting at home in the house that I bought, and leeching off of my bank account on the daily. D’ya think you could afford all the shit you have just based on your salary?” he spat crudely.
You physically leaned back as if the words had just actually been thrown at you. They must’ve, because the pain they caused felt far too real to just be emotional. You opened your mouth to fight back, to scream, to do something but the lump in your throat prevented anything to come out other than a sad, and pathetic squeak.
Was that what he thought about you?
This had caught you completely off guard. Sure, you were expecting an argument, you’d even say you were expecting a big one, but you would’ve never guessed he would throw this in your face.
You felt betrayed. It had always made you insecure that you were making such little money compared to your boyfriend.
Some days after receiving your paycheck you would go out and spend it all on Luke, solely because you wanted to know that you could contribute too. You would do that whenever you got the chance, to reassure that your work was important, and valid. And mainly to show Luke that you appreciated all he did for you.
He would always reply, “You don’t have to do this, love. I like spoiling my girl.”
Yeah right.
“I wasn’t, I m-mean I don’t try to lee-,” you paused, the word feeling too gross to repeat back.
“Well, you do whether you're trying or not so the least you can do is give me a break occasionally.” he spoke casually, while changing into sweats as if he wasn’t ripping you apart with every word.
You kept a blank stare at the bedroom door, your eyes already stinging with unshed tears. You wished you could be angrier but his words left you questioning and feeling guilty.
As hard as you’d tried to provide for yourself and make your own way you couldn’t help but wonder if you had subconsciously started leaning on him, more than you had ever wanted.
Luke continued getting ready for bed, not taking a second look at you since hitting you with his harsh words.
“I-I’m sorry.” you croaked.
“It’s fine, Y/n I just wish you could’ve been slightly more understanding.” he continued, still not facing you.
“I think that maybe, I mean, um I gotta go.” you were speaking through tears, as you abruptly stood from the bed and hurried to leave the room.
This caught Luke’s attention causing him to spin in your direction at lightning speed, finally taking in your emotional state.
“Going? Going where? I-what are you talking about?”
You didn’t reply, grabbing your keys, bag, and shoes as you continued to speed to the front door.
“Y/n!” he continued, following closely behind you.
You paused at the front door and turned to meet his eyes. His stressed appearance subsided as you allowed him the opportunity to talk.
“You’re upset.” he concluded, reaching a hand out to hold your cheek.
You leaned away from his touch and shook your head lightly, “M’not.”
His features softened and he took another step closer to you, “You are. I’m sorry, I was harsh.”
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”
“Didn’t know?”
“I don’t want t-to leech” you stuttered out.
This rendered Luke speechless, realizing how cruel his words had been. You had taken this as an opportunity to exit the house, quickly running to your car. Luke made it to the driveway just in time to see you drive away.
“Fuck” he snapped, jogging back towards the house to get his phone and call you in hopes of convincing you to come back.
After calling you at least 20 times with no response he conceded and decided he should try and get some sleep, that way he was rested enough to get you to forgive him in the morning.
His body fell naturally to his side of the bed, but his eyes lingered on where you typically laid.
Rolling onto his back, eyes finding the ceiling he muttered to himself, “I’m an idiot.”
Eventually he was tiring out, the bedroom ceiling growing extremely boring after staring for so long. He turned on his side to hug your pillow to his chest. As his hand slid under the pillow it came into contact with an envelope that had been hidden underneath.
He sat up and flicked on a lamp to read the front, “To my Lu”
He could tell that you had taken your time penciling on your words, each letter was flawless and written delicately. Before ripping it open he hesitated, questioning whether or not he even deserved to see what was inside after the way he spoke to you. The selfish part of his brain won for the second time that night.
The first thing he saw after opening was two airline tickets situated just in front of a folded piece of notebook paper.
He held his breath as he brought them into the light, two roundtrip business tickets to Sydney.
He rushed to read the note you had left with them, unfolding it quickly.
“Lu,
Happy two years, my love. I can’t believe I’ve been lucky enough to call you mine for this long. Not a day goes by where I’m not in complete and utter awe of you and everything you do for me. I know how hard you work and how much you miss home and your family while you continue to grow in your music, and in yourself everyday. I know these aren’t the best tickets you’ve ever had by any means or the most extravagant vacation you’ve taken, but I wanted to show you how much I love you and how much I know you deserve, and need a break. We have 2 weeks, we leave tomorrow. I’ve worked it all out with the guys and your label. I know this is just a small way to repay you for the way you’ve taken care of me and the way you’ve loved me so selflessly for so long but I hope it shows you just a sliver of how much I love you.
Yours always,
Y/n”
He traced the letters of your name repeatedly as he blinked back a few stinging tears, before falling asleep, the note clutched tightly to his chest.
That was a week, and about 100 missed calls ago.
About two days after you left, your friend had called to let him know that you were safe and staying with her for the time being. It had slightly lessened his worry, but the guilt he felt grew exponentially each day he had no reason to say your name.
He had claimed your side of the bed as his own in hopes that it would bring you closer to him. When he had finally dragged himself out of bed to shower he used your body wash and as embarrassing as it sounds nearly cried when the room was flooded with the familiar rose scented steam. And tonight while scouring through the liquor cabinet and feeling completely sorry for himself he had come across a bottle of tequila that you had purchased on your most recent vacation.
Luke had put a serious dent in it by the time he was done scrolling through all of his pictures of you, and his finger began to itch with the need to call you.
Through blurry and clouded eyes he located your contact, a breath hitching in his throat when he clicked the call button.
With each unanswered ring he pinched his wrist, willing himself to wake up and discover this was all just some horrible nightmare, that he would just roll over and see you curled up next to him, warm, and sweet, and perfect. So fucking perfect.
“You’ve reached y/n. Sorry I can’t get to the phone, leave a message and I’ll get back to you. Thanks”
But it’s not his nightmare that got him here, it’s his mistake.
“Y/n,” he croaked, his voice hoarse and scratchy as he hasn’t used it much in the past couple of days.
“I don’t know what to do anymore, I miss you and I’m sorry. I-” his heart was pounding and his intoxication numbed him from the feeling of the hot tears that streamed down his face as he continued. “M’selfish baby. I’m so selfish and I was talking out of my ass that night, of course you’re not leeching. That’s fucking ridiculous, you couldn’t be, I give you nothing compared to what you give me. I just don’t know how to admit I’m wrong and the money is bullshit, it doesn’t matter, we could both live without it.” his chest felt tight as he took a large gulp of air. “I-I can’t live without you, really I don’t think I can. I need you and I love you. I love you so much. Just please come home to me, please baby. I need you with me, and I want to fucking give you the world and I know you don’t need me to give it to you. I want to. I just-I want to give you everything, anything. You can have it all. It’s yours. I’m yours, alwa-” his pleads were cut off by the dial tone.
“Always.” he repeated, staring at the black screen.
pt. 2
#5sos imagine#5sos imagines#luke 5sos#luke hemmings#luke hemmings one shot#luke hemmings imagine#luke hemmings imagines#luke hemmings angst#luke hemmings x reader#luke hemmings x fem!reader#luke hemmings x you#luke hemmings x y/n#5sos angst#5sos one shots#5sos one shot#luke hemmings blurb#5sos drabbles#5sos preferences#5 seconds of summer imagine#5 seconds of summer one shots#5sos blurbs#5 seconds of summer#5 seconds of summer one shot#luke hemmings one shots#5sos
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my turn to cry - thoughts on 3-1b
ok this has actually gotta be my favorite chapter cause holy shit so much stuff happened.
I played the Alice/kanna route and afterwards I watched a vod with the reko/shin route in which ranmaru and naomichi died before the banquet, so BIG SPOILER WARNING FOR BOTH ROUTES
Mafia Princess Sara??: Ok so first off, back in the beginning of 2020, I had a theory that Sara was a mafia heiress and that the death game was supposed to be something to “prepare” her. And that her memories were wiped or she was initially supposed to be kept blind to this whole thing (In 3-1a when everybody saw the consent form for the very first time everybody felt a sense of deja vu, except for Sara. Because why would they need her consent when she is the sole focus of the game and it’s all for her) This theory was mainly supplied by my confusion surrounding the hiring of Kai, cause why would mr Chidouin hire a former assassin to protect her?? How did he even know Kai??? But yeah, the whole thing with Shinobu Gokujo and deciding a new don through a death game just adds a lil more validity to this theory.
Sara’s real father: I also had a mini theory that Gashu Satou was her real father, but that was mostly cause of their hair color and how it would def make Sara’s hair color make more sense genetics-wise (but kai has black hair, so its most likely that his mother had black hair, which would also disprove this mini-theory but yk im not here to prove it just talk about it). And that Gashu knew of Mr. Chidouin and gave Sara to him, and it would also explain why mr Chidouin chose Kai of all people to look after her and why Kai could only watch her from a distance, in case she realized the truth that he was her brother/half-brother or something.
GREENBLINGS CANON AAAAAAAA: I love this, I love this so much oh my god. Now I can replay and cry after 2-2 cause nankidai hates us :’). I dont have an issue with this specifically, I’m just a bit bothered by how the whole thing went. There was some buildup yea, and the cg with kanna, kugie, and shin was amazing. And that lil bit about nice hallucinations made me tear up a bit. But, then everybody kinda just moved on? and idk this whole chapter was a fuckign roller coaster I could barely keep up.
Autistic Gin <3: I’m autistic myself and I have seen many characters who are autistic-coded or exhibit many signs of autism but have never been straight up confirmed (Ex: Vera Misham from Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney). And even then, these characters usually share similar personality traits like being aloof and reserved. So it’s nice to see that Gin is representing autism in a relatively realistic manner with his hyperfixations, vocal tics, and issues with socializing. Even after nearly dying like 17 times he’s still doing well and I genuinely wish for his survival and happiness.
Ranmaru’s death: Both of Ranmaru’s deaths, (if you or if you don’t fail the electricity absorption minigame) the death feels so... off? I was really attached to him as a character, yet his death didn’t impact as much as Joe’s or Nao’s did. During his Banquet death, one second he had his really cute smiling sprite but then whoops oh no guys weird drill screw thing kills him (again). I still can barely comprehend it because it all just happened so fast. Like no cg or anything. I was honestly kinda disappointed. The “delayed” one does a better job at his death scene, but again, it was wayyy too quick and completely dismissed as everybody just moves on to defeat Maple 2.0. I at least would’ve appreciated a better transition than Midori just saying “well anyways–”
Ranmaru’s extremely quick descent into madness in the shin route: I actually liked this idea of Ranmaru willing to go to such extremes for Sara. However, theres barely time for any of this to develop? Like again, everything just happens so fast??? I would've definitely liked if there were little hints around before the body discovery that ranmaru was gonna do something like this, just a little time for development would really be cool.
Mr. Policeman/Mr. Tazuna???: After I finished, I actually looked on the wiki to see if it said anything about his son that he mentioned and I found this:
But yeah thats cool
The thing about Q-taro: I’m gonna say it now, I’ve liked Q-taro ever since the aftermath of 1-2, and Q-taro haters have added absolutely nothing to this fandom. Everybody saw him as a child-hater, I see him as a guy who’ll do anything to survive and succeed. I mean that wish is kinda what got him into the death game. And yeah he did try to leave that one time, but that’s what getting thrown into traumatic killing games does for you, most people don’t want to die, they want to live, no matter what it takes. We can’t all be the main character and choose to cooperate with everybody and be the “good” person in that situation. Even Sara has those extremely selfish moments and those intrusive thoughts of winning and leaving.
This whole thing should also be applied to Ranmaru. Ranmaru has gone through so much shit in such a brief amount of time, to the point where he was considering to/actually kill people to escape with the one person he trusted in this hellhole. In that situation, Sara’s kinda at fault here, cause without Joe she’s lost her sense of morality which resulted in her becoming selfish and well... honestly kinda toxic. This emotional manipulation is really what set Ranmaru off, however it was 100% his decision to fucking kill somebody and murder’s bad. Still love him though.
But back to Qtaro, I really enjoyed the extra substance given to him in this chapter, it’s nice to see the development from being selfish to feeling deep remorse to protecting the dolls of the first trial victims, most notably Mai. As he completely forgives her for stabbing him. The chapter did a great job at fueling my already intense love for Q-taro (and it actually convinced my best friend who claims to hate Q-taro with every bone of her body to like him too!) I also love the father-son dynamic between him and Gin. I find this relationship to be really important cause Gin’s father is an abusive alcoholic and Q-taro’s an orphan who’s never had a proper role-model in his life. So it’s beautiful that despite not having anybody there for him when he was younger he can still be a good figure for another child.
Predictions/hopes for the next part:
I just want to see whether Shin already knew about Kanna being his sister, and if he doesn’t I want a reveal. Right. Now.
A Ranmaru/Joe/Q-taro/Kai/ “Hinako” revival, p l e a se they died so soon
More info about the people involved in the Hades Incident/Shinobu Gokujo
More info regarding Meister
Sara going on Maury
Who tf is “Hinako”????
I really hope that there isn't any specific good/bad ending. Like I want every ending to be equally bad and good yk? like equal consequences and good stuff.
Yo wtf happened to Sara’s mom?? Is she gonna come back and play a more important role in the story?? Are her parents gonna come back as floor masters???
I want things to actually change depending on whether you picked Alice or reko, cause so far they’ve played extremely minor roles.
#3 1b spoilers#yttd#yttd spoilers#q taro burgerberg#sara chidouin#ranmaru kageyama#joe tazuna#gin ibushi#kai satou#keiji shinogi#alice yabusame#reko yabusame#shin tsukimi#midori yttd#kanna kizuchi#greenblings#sou hiyori#mai tsurugi
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So out of nowhere I was tagged and quoted by a SR shipper for a blog of mine posted in August of last year. Talk about throwback but, hey, gotta appreciate that level of snooping. 😉
Back in the day I actually used to encourage discourse amongst Inuyasha fans- both shippers and antis alike- but I've since realized that it's a lost cause. But for you, @feministmetalgreymon , I'll grant this exception. Just 'cause it's been a while so why the hell not. haha
I want to assure you, however, that nothing you say will ever convince me that Sesshomaru and Rin are meant to be together romantically or that the story intended it so. Nor will you find any validation here. You can ship them for all I care, but please for all that is good and holy while I have your attention try- I mean really try- to understand why it is so many of us Inuyasha fans are so against this pairing in the first place (newsflash: it's not about ship wars), and why we believe a romance between the two of them is completely and utterly out of character.
For those of you interested in reading this, the blog of mine in question that the above shipper mentions in their counter-argument is here for reference. It's titled "Jaken = Rin's Dad?" I'm going to try and keep this short, but I'm also making no such promises. After all, I'm not exactly known for my brevity. haha Now let's get crackin'!
Like you, feministmetalgreymon, did for your recent blog here where you took screenshots of mine to address certain parts, I will be doing the same and dissecting yours accordingly.
[Snippet 1]
I worked with kids for many years as a teacher, and many people in my family have too or still do. Two of them happen to be just over 5 feet which is quite short for the average adult woman living here. I've also worked alongside many a women of short stature, and never did I hear any of them complaining of issues with their students having difficulty differentiating them from their own peers just because they were short as well. I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous. Kids are quite smart and pick up on a lot more than you seem to give them credit for. Height is not the only characteristic they look at to determine who's an adult and who's not, and it's foolish to suggest otherwise. So unless you're a babysitter who's still in their teens and/or who has very childlike features or behavior then I'm afraid what you're getting at is total hogwash. This is just another example of how you shippers offer nothing of real substance to your reasoning, it's only ever cherry-picking or strawmanning from you guys. Stop deflecting from the real issues please, because this certainly isn't one and only winds up being a complete waste of time for all parties involved.
[Snippet 2]
Okay, calm down now. I wasn't insinuating that relationships between parents and children can't change over time in terms of how they get along. Of course that's possible, as all families experience their fair share of estrangement and abuse. What I was speaking about was in reference to the overall dynamic between the two. Because a bad mother or father can still be viewed as a parental figure to their child even if say they're not in said child's life anymore. Since Sesshomaru and Rin share a healthy bond- and just a friendly reminder that in my blog I even said that he doesn't have to necessarily be labeled her father but that a romantic relationship later would still be inappropriate- I didn't deem it necessary to address what you brought up. Plus, it kinda, umm, misses the point?? Please, let's stay on topic. And it's not captured in the screenshot, but stop acting like there isn't a small part of them that idolizes their parents at some point during childhood. Just like you mention later on how it's normal for kids to have innocent crushes on adults that they eventually grow out of? Well, guess what, the same concept applies here. Kids eventually learn that their parents are far from perfect and make mistakes too. Rin is so damn young in the OG series though that we never even get to see her reach that maturity level.
[Snippet 3]
LOL! Alright, okay, so the "unbreakable bond" bit you're mentioning was actually me quoting you sessrinners. Did you not catch that? I literally spelled it out. *sigh* The whole point I was making is that shippers like yourself make hypocritical and contradictory statements all.the.goddamn.time. One moment you guys claim that Sesshomaru and Rin were essentially strangers and meant very little to each other, only to say in the same breath a few seconds later that they were destined to be together and their bond is like no other. I agree, their bond is special, but why must that mean they're going to fall in love?
That is the root of the matter here. Too many animes/mangas have romanticized this older adult man & young girl growing up falling in love trope that it's become way too normalized and widely accepted across the world- and yes, in some cultures more than others. Sadly, you lack the awareness to recognize how this all works. You know how we know that? When we see that you shippers are so desensitized to sexualized images of girls in the media that you share posts like this one below which *subtly* imply a future romance although one half of that pairing is still just a child in the pic and then try and pass it off as cute. That's like super fucking problematic and it scares me that you can't see that (or deny you do). 🤢
After all that's said and done, Sesshomaru leaving Rin in the village with Kaede is to me the strongest indicator more than pretty much anything else he's done for Rin that proves he is her adoptive father. It's so funny to me how you somehow see the exact opposite though. 🤔 What I think is happening is that you got yourself on some squeaky clean ass shipper goggles fresh out of your little echo chamber. Because I hate to tell you, but what you're fantasizing is what you want to see and not what's actually there on screen or was written into the story. I'm strictly talking about Inuyasha and the manga of course. [For the TL; DR version skip to the last paragraph.]
Parents looking after their kids is what parents are supposed to do. A good parent will do anything to keep their child safe and ensure they are cared for, so what he did for her by leaving her there was in her best interests clearly. Besides, as a babysitter, you more than most people should understand that parents aren't always able to be there for their kids so sometimes others gotta step in to help. Haven't you heard of the saying, "it takes a village to raise a child?" Which in Rin's case is literally true! 😂 Sometimes kids are even sent off to stay with grandparents and that's who raises them instead. Or maybe they have to temporarily live with an aunt or uncle because their single parent's job requires they work out of town 4-5 days of the week so they're hardly home. But that doesn't mean that the parents care or love their kids any less, and it's foolish to assume that Sesshomaru must have thought very little of Rin simply due to the fact that he made the decision to leave her in the village. Come on, y'all are acting like he abandoned her there!!
It's just given the circumstances Sesshomaru finally came to learn that Rin traveling with him was no longer safe. I also like to think it's because he wished for her to live a more normal life and to learn how to fully trust humans again. Plus, continuing to travel with him as young as she was would have proven dangerous and unwise. Now for you to know all this and still manage to turn his past actions towards her while she was just a child into a romantic gesture is what boggles my mind. Regardless of how you look at it, from my perspective or your own, Sesshomaru is in the wrong. Either he's a father figure who impregnates his daughter at the young age of approximately 14. OR he's this man she used to travel with who maybe isn't a father to her but who nonetheless basically rapes her since kids her age can't consent to sex with an adult. Idk about you but it sounds to me like nobody here wins with either scenario we're given. In other words, you should be just as mad as we are. If only one side didn't choose to forsake their morals they know we both have in common for the sake of a ship. Welp. 🤷♀️
I agree, incest is disgusting but that's not the only problem we have with this pairing. A romantic bond forming between Sesshomaru and Rin would also constitute as grooming.
You realize that over the years he visited her in the village that he brought her gifts too and essentially watched her grow up right before his very eyes, right? I mean, I know you do, but I really shouldn't have to explain further why pursuing a romantic/sexual relationship with each other is plain and simple wrong. And before you say it's not because he didn't have any malintent, please understand that considering their history and power dynamic up to then that yes this is still considered grooming even if Rin supposedly "wanted it" or "made the first move." Whether you consider him her father or not, as the adult who took on a role resembling that of a caretaker in her early life- a critical developmental time for a child- Sesshomaru is obligated to turn down any advances by Rin and most definitely should not initiate any himself. As the first close adult figure she's had in her life since her parents died, it's unfathomable to imagine how Sesshomaru could go through with taking advantage of this young girl who was under his care and supervision since they met. To think he could be capable of betraying that trust sickens me to the core.
This. Now THIS is how a parent/guardian or a similar adult caretaker (babysitter, teacher, etc.) talks to a child. And, in turn, this is how some young children talk to adults. You'd be insane and delusional to deny it! We see it in our everyday lives, do we not? From where else do you think our stories draw most of their inspiration? Yes, obviously these fictional universes have aspects of fantasy that don't exist in the real world, but so how then do you suppose we're able to relate to them? The reason for that being is because these stories are written by people for people, so naturally there are going to be real life aspects embedded throughout. Sure, a little escapism doesn't hurt as we don't need to take everything so seriously, but ultimately we all need to recognize that the messages in the stories we tell matter. Most stories possess a combination of both light and dark themes, but when it specifically comes to the latter we gotta be careful with how we tackle this in children's media since kids are far more impressionable.
So if at the center of a story we have two of the main protagonists whose mom is basically their same age and to top it off she knew their dad when she was just a girl and who just so happened to help raise her, wouldn't you say that's beyond fucked up or at the very least so fucking weird? Like why would we think it's even remotely okay for our children to watch this garbage?? Really think about it. Try and be objective for once and think about how it would sound explaining this storyline to an outsider who's never watched IY or HNY. Well, antis have tried this before many times and we always get the same reaction: Ewww!
Like I said earlier, if you wanna ship it then fine, but 1) please stop seeking our approval or trying to change our minds - your ship wish came true didn't it, so why do you need us to validate it? 2) even though it's not canon, respect that we don't support this sequel portraying pedophilia in a positive light. It's harmful af to not only allow but glorify the continuation of sexualized images of young girls everywhere. And I shouldn't have to say this, but just because this trope is popular as you say does not make it right. Lolicon themes in the media have been an issue forever and it needs to stop. Yes, even some people in Japan or "the East" would agree. Shocker!
We're pissed off and rightfully so because Yashahime's TV rating is 14, not to mention it airs at the prime time kids in Japan watch TV after getting home from school. That's Towa and Setsuna's age, true, but if Rin being the mom when she's like only a year older than them (please don't argue w/ me about the math- antis have so far been right every time with it) is straight-up disgusting and not something we should be supporting or endorsing. Rin's a whole ass child!! Please don't start with the "but times were different then so her having kids at 15 is acceptable" argument either, because we've already debunked that and every other single excuse you guys throw at us. Besides, how or why would you expect young viewers to know these historical "facts" anyway, especially if as you suggest fiction doesn't affect reality so what does it matter? Yet here we are, arguing over a fictional show in real life almost a year and a half into the "Sesshomaru fucks?" sequel being announced. My ass, your ass, hell all our asses fiction doesn't affect reality!
Look, I do apologize if the tone of this blog came off as snippy or condescending at times. I do not wish you any ill will, it's just I'm not really sure what you expected to get out of all this besides maybe getting on my nerves perhaps. haha A lot of you shippers have been desperately scrambling to interact with us, lurking in our tags, jumping onto our posts screaming canon and getting so defensive even though you sought us out first. We've been sticking to our tags, so how about you stay in your lane too. By the way since we're on the topic, have you seen Twitter or Reddit?! SR shippers there are the actual worst and many Inuyasha fans (not just antis) have complained of not feeling welcomed to engage in fandom spaces anymore. Shippers swarm them and scare them off simply because fans don't like your ship and refuse to accept it. It's pathetic, really. No one should ever be bullied or harassed just because they don't like something you might. We're all fans of Inuyasha, aren't we? So let's act like it. Yashahime on the other hand, you guys are welcome to that pungent heap of trash. Fans have a right to criticize it too, but if you like it then good for you, so keep on liking it and don't mind us.
I'm almost done, but real quick back to Jaken! Let's not forget about how the official Yashahime website- which came out after my blog, mind you- described Jaken. This translation isn't the best one available but it's the only version a fellow anti friend could track down. They do recall a better one done by a native Japanese speaker who was also an anti, and that member confirmed that Jaken is indeed called Rin's babysitter. So you see, I was right in my interpretation. In the original post I did compare Jaken to a brother, but after talking to others (some comments can be found under said post) I did acknowledge that he's more of a reluctant babysitter who's not related. And if he's not at least a brother to Rin, then he's definitely not her father.
At the end of the day, the creator Rumiko Takahashi has the final word. Which is guess what? Hogosha. 💖 Probably should've just started out with that and saved us all the trouble, huh? Good day/night to you.
Papamaru bids you adieu now. 🤞
#anti yashahime#anti sessrin#sesshomaru is rin's dad#papamaru#hogosha 💖#the sequel may not be canon but sunrise can still burn in hell
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