I missed your posts! Now that y has had sex with d again. I feel like he would find sex with other men not just inamj very triggering. He was very hesitant to meet up with Inami. What do you think?

Well, thank you, that's very sweet of you to say! And thanks for the ask!

Yes, I think you're spot on with that!! Yashiro wasn't born yesterday, he knows exactly what Inami expects in return for information. But, you'll notice that each time Inami has information to share, Yashiro pretends there is no expectation. This was something Yashiro did even before the timeskip, so it doesn't surprise me he did it again. I will say though, this time, Yashiro acted more oblivious than usual, and his pause seemed longer. He thought about it for a second, probably because he was thinking of how to escape Doumeki's watch, but also because, again, he doesn't want to have sex with Inami for other obvious reasons.

I also want to say that Yashiro is willing to go pretty far to get information on Kai, and we still don't know why he needs it. There's a possibility that he wants to get ahead on the case so he can protect Doumeki. But whatever the case may be, Yashiro sleeping with Inami for information is many things, but definitely not a way to get under Doumeki's skin. If we know anything about Yashiro, we know that him going to the back of the restaurant to have a secret phone call with Inami is not at all indicative of him trying to make Doumeki jealous or mad. We know that he's always done things to protect others. I would bet every penny that this is another instance of Yashiro putting other people over his own well-being.

@fabyjazmin17:

I never understood why some people thought Doumeki was being "rough, cold or distant" when he went down on Yashiro and they were kissing all the time!! And those were some deep kisses filled with passion! You just have to look the sex scenes of Yashiro and other men, they don’t do any of that some of them are even disgusted by the idea of ever kissing him so I don't know that chapter to me was the confirmation that anyone could ever need that Doumeki is still so in love with Yashiro.

————

It was very passionate and intense, and I loved every second of it. Yashiro is a very romantic person, and really enjoys gentle sex with kissing and touching!!! You can tell Y is also constantly comparing current Doumeki to the old D from his memory, and he is assuming that Doumeki doesn’t care about him the same way anymore. So even though the sex wasn’t rough, in Yashiro’s perspective it wasn’t gentle either because he’s comparing it to the only other time they did it. However, they BOTH had flashback memories of their night, and both of their visualizations were romantic imo (i.e., Yashiro had that flashback of their hands intertwined, and Doumeki of them doing it face to face). I think it’s Yashiro’s belief that he’s not special to Doumeki that’s clouding his judgement at the moment, but I think the scene itself was much more consensual than the first time, which is a win in my book.

Yes, I agree with you, I think Doumeki is still very much in love with Yashiro. I think chapter 53 is all about how much Doumeki still loves, DESPITE believing that Yashiro really likes sex (with anyone). Doumeki was trying to give it to Yashiro “rough,” so it wasn’t as fluffy and gentle and prolonged as last time, BUT his composure is slowly falling and that’s very clear in ch. 53.

As for Yashiro, it’s so cute that he gets embarrassed because he comes too fast, especially when Doumeki does his foreplay and kissing. Because of this, Yashiro is always requesting Doumeki to stop being gentle and just do it. The reason he called on him to take his fingers out, is because he felt like he was going to come again, but Doumeki thought it was because Y wanted him to put it in. It’s miscommunication. Yashiro thought he wasn’t being gentle, Doumeki thought he was giving Yashiro what he wanted. I think we will (hopefully) get more sex scenes where they communicate better about what they want in bed.

「好吃嗎？」 「不太清楚。」 "Does it taste good?" "I don't really know."

How is it possible that Doumeki had zero struggle falling for a man? Even Yashiro struggles with it, and he's the most openly queer character in the story. It's interesting that Doumeki is the only (straight) guy who doesn't struggle with his sexuality. (There's Kuga but he seems like he's always been gay so I'm not counting him.)

Tragically, Yashiro was never given a choice. He was abused for so long, which spiralled into him reenacting his trauma to gain a sense of control. For Yashiro, sex with men is a means of psychological survival, but it doesn’t help him feel normal or good because it’s always a reminder of his abuse. Yashiro believes that he’s perverted and twisted, because it’s easier to deal with (internalized) homophobia than it is to deal with a loss of control. He also struggles with being rejected by love interests for being a man, so there’s some insecurity mixed in there as well.

Doumeki’s situation is completely different. He was never forced to sleep with men, so he doesn’t deal with the shame that Yashiro likely deals with. Doumeki was a grown, 25 year-old man when he fell in love with Yashiro, which makes a really big difference in how a person can manage social stigma and internal insecurity. And last but not least, while yakuza are constantly comparing dicks and trying to prove their masculinity to each other, Doumeki grew up naturally topping the chart of every social desirability category for his physique, strength, and courage; he didn’t have to play tricks to gain respect. In other words, Doumeki never had to prove his masculinity to anyone. You can do and be whoever you want if no one can beat your ass lol.

misumi has been incredibly possessive and selfish towards yashiro, but I (want to) believe that deep down he does care and love yashiro as a person. i don't have much evidence for this, besides his long-time bias and admiration for yashiro. people around misumi have compared his lenient treatment of yashiro to amou, and the previous kaichou knows how close misumi holds yashiro to his heart. i know the yashiro-amou comparison isn't perfect as misumi is a lot more controlling and manipulative towards yashiro, but i think at its core the similarity of their father-son relationships holds true. call it wishful thinking, but if the story is supposed to depict a father-son relationship in all its complexity and contradictions (and god knows how overbearing real asian parents can be), i want to believe that misumi is able to find true love and kindness in his heart for his yazuka-son and let him go. and i guess that's the mystery waiting for us at the end of the story!

True, it’s definitely a complicated relationship. Yashiro cares about Misumi but he doesn’t fuck with him, and Misumi is one of very few people that knows Yashiro’s true self. Misumi never used the opportunity to help Yashiro in any meaningful way, although on a surface-level he appears to support Yashiro. Yashiro recognizes that Misumi gives him special privileges, which I think he considers a blessing and a curse.

It’s definitely a contentious topic, and we are going to see how it unfolds, and whether Misumi will put his own self-interest aside for once in his life. If I had to take a guess, I could see Amou convincing M to let Yashiro go (which would be the type of ending that would have us debating whether Misumi really cared about Yashiro for eternity lmao)

Alright, fandom, I went a little overboard and kinda translated the whole thing. 😅 I said I'd post a summary today, but instead I'll post the chapter. <3

Full Saezuru chapter 53 under the cut

I'm sorry... no I'm not. This is a S.P.O.I.L.E.R! Please don't quote me, though I think me and Papagoogoo are pretty right on this one. HAHA! I couldn't resist because this is the best scene they've ever done where someone didn't eat Yashiro's foot. THIS IS THEIR FUTURE!! Husbands much?

Hello, I am a recent fan of Saezuru and this story has me looking at every detail in the pictures. Sorry that this ask may be more mature. As I look through the sex scenes again, I noticed that Yashiro's genitals are not present when he is having sex with other men, but are present during his sexual encounters with Doumeki. Do you think this is Yoneda-sensei's way of showing that only Doumeki has treated and seen Yashiro as a man?

Hi there, thanks for the ask! Yeah, that's totally possible and an interesting way of looking at it!

The way I see it, is as a way to highlight that Yashiro becomes aroused when he has sex with Doumeki. Usually, the point of loving, consensual sex is to feel good, so it makes sense that Yashiro is depicted with an erection when he’s with D. But this isn’t to say that Yashiro has never felt aroused when he did it with others— it’s just that his arousal wasn’t the point of those other scenes. YK has shown us many scenes of Yashiro in sexual situations throughout his life, and each one had a purpose. As a child, the point wasn’t to sexualize him, it was to highlight how absolutely terrifying, painful, disempowering, and heartbreaking it was. As a teenager, the point was to show how totally broken, mistreated, hopeless, and apathetic he was. And as an adult it was to show us his new sense of control, and his way of coping and managing relationships/business affairs.

There are things that are depicted or not depicted in all three type of situations, and this helps us focus on the important details of the scene and pick out themes. It also allows us to make comparisons between different situations. For example, by you noticing that Yashiro isn’t shown with an erection when he has sex with yakuza, but he does have one when he does it with Doumeki, it highlights that Yashiro is actually enjoying sex with D for what it was meant for, and not as a way to cope with low self-worth. When Yashiro’s hands are tied with yakuza, but not with Doumeki, it’s showing us that Yashiro gets pleasure from touching his partners and being touched. My art history professor once told us that Michelangelo’s David has a small dick because he didn’t want people focusing too much on it; he wanted to highlight the rest of the statue :)

I’m glad there wasn’t any dub con this time but I really hope there is enthusiastic consent next time. There was such a huge tonal shift in the fandom in that I saw so many excited reactions before the sex scene but then they were disappointed after.

I guess it really depends on the perspective; is the glass half full or half empty? The story still has some ways to go until its resolution, but the glass has been filling up over the last few chapters, so I really can’t relate to the disappointment you mentioned, although I’m sure it’s there.

Looking at chapter 51 and 52 together really highlights how much Yashiro and Doumeki still care about each other. Even though Doumeki wanted to be rough, Yashiro started trembling and heating up as soon as Doumeki touched him; Y put his hands on Doumeki’s head and then tried to take his shirt off. He was being an active participant. Last time they had sex Yashiro barely touched Doumeki, and he certainly didn’t take D’s clothes off. And despite how physical Doumeki was being (i.e., throwing Yashiro to the ground, ripping off his clothes, biting his nipple, pinning his hands, flipping him around, etc.), Yashiro wasn’t showing signs of fear; if he was afraid he wouldn’t have attacked D when he saw the tattoo either. Yashiro came multiple times, despite being unable to get hard with Inami and Kido. I also thought it was very interesting that Doumeki knew that if he kissed Yashiro, it would lead him to climax hmmm

I think chapter 51 and 52 had a lot of details that subtly revealed their invisible interpersonal dynamic, that before, we could only guess existed. What I mean by that is, before these chapters, there was no way of knowing what was really motivating Yashiro and Doumeki’s actions. Did Doumeki drive Yashiro home because he wanted to privately tell him to abandon the case? Did Doumeki tell Yashiro to stay away from Inami because he didn’t want Yashiro’s relationship to interfere with his investigation? Did Yashiro refuse to be intimate with Doumeki because he doesn’t care about him? Now we know that, actually, there’s trust between them— not fear— and that makes it a lot easier to see how their old feelings are still there and have been this whole time. Trust isn't the missing piece, it's something else entirely. If they didn’t trust each other, this whole scene would have gone a lot differently.

The fact that Yashiro was so quick to surrender to Doumeki, and even express his anger toward him; or that Doumeki had the guts to manhandle Yashiro, and the conscientiousness to surrender to his frustration, only shows that they are connected by an invisible thread, a common understanding that’s been guiding them this whole time. They are both aware, to some extent, that they are safe around each other. Yashiro knows Doumeki won’t hurt him, and Doumeki knows that Yashiro cares about him in his own way. It’s like being in a room full of people, but you know there’s one person in there that knows you, cares about you, and is watching you secretly— but no one else is aware of this and only you can sense it. This is what the story has been like for us as readers; we can watch Doumeki and Yashiro’s big actions, but we can’t feel what they feel when they’re around each other. It’s easy to misinterpret behaviour when you can’t sense someone’s eyes on you, or their body language when you’re in the room, or the way they move closer, or how their tone changes when they speak to you, and the topic of their conversation matches yours, etc. Clearly, Yashiro and Doumeki have been picking up on these subtle cues, and they have both determined that there’s still a spark between them, there’s still trust and care between them. That's why they are still around each other, getting closer and closer. It's just that they are hesitant about revealing too much, too soon.

Anyways, knowing this, I can more confidently say, Doumeki and Yashiro weren’t being malicious toward one another. This entire time, they were pulling for each other. There’s just a lack of self-confidence on both their ends, coming from past experience, and they’re afraid of getting hurt again. They’re taking it slow and feeling it out, but it’s moving in the right direction imo. I think in chapter 51&52, the heat and passion between them temporarily suspended their doubt and apprehension, allowing them to be more authentic with each other, but as soon as the act was over, they came back to their normal senses, the self-doubt came back, and so did their walls. Yashiro was back to believing that Doumeki had changed more than he has stayed the same. I find that he reminisces a lot about the old Doumeki, poor guy. But regardless of the fluctuations in their beliefs and confidence, I believe the glass is getting fuller and their walls are falling more frequently and intensely than every previous time. Personally, I really enjoyed this chapter and I thought it pushed their relationship to the next level, so I'm excited for chapter 53- it seems like they're gonna talk about some stuff which is always fun. Thanks for the ask and sorry for the late reply!

Why the hell can’t they just talk man omg this is so fucking realistic and frustrating at the same time. I mean, from what I heard doumeki was very silent and also rough which is not a bad thing. If we think about it he was in the moment and I guess seeing yashiro under him after so long was intense, so I don’t blame him one bit. I have to be honest on this tho, I didn’t expect for things to turn out like this. Doumeki is still in his acting career moment if you know what I mean and I feel yashiro is being the only one honest with himself and his feelings which is great and also VERY surprising. He did what he had to do tbh, he had is reaction, he let doumeki kiss him, he deepened the kiss, he hugged him and also during the banging session he tried to be more active so in my opinion doumeki needs to be a little less afraid of what Yashiro reaction could be and more perceptive. The real main issue here is that yashiro was expecting something else which is amazing but doumeki doesn’t know that, so now he’s wondering if doumeki and that woman are really a thing and if he is only gentle with her. The funniest thing of all is that he saw those famous contact lenses and got jealous once again because that woman is still on his mind 24/7. I really don’t know how things are going to develop after this sex scene but it will be very interesting.

Honestly, I don’t think Doumeki was being rough at all lol. That was just regular sex between two people that like each other imo. The first time they did it, it was extremely romantic because they admitted their feelings for the first time, but that kind of atmosphere doesn’t always happen when you have sex; having sex with the person you love for the first time is always more special. It’s normal that not every sexual encounter is going to be super lovey-dovey. They definitely took it down a notch on the fluff, but this time around they were still kissing and touching. Doumeki gave Y oral and moved him to the bed pretty quickly to make him feel more comfortable. It was passionate sex, but a different kind of passion from before, because this time they already know each other’s bodies, which means they didn’t feel the need to explore. This time it was about reconnecting and fulfilling this sexual desire they’ve been pushing down for years. They both clearly missed the other's body and wanted to be physically close as fast as possible. In other words, they were pent up and got straight to business. And it wasn’t just Doumeki that was going in on the action- Yashiro was grinding on Doumeki’s lap while they kissed in chapter 51. Not to mention that the sexual tension between them was already building up in the days leading up to this moment. What I’m trying to say is, they desperately wanted to have sex.. I mean Yashiro literally came when Doumeki entered; Doumeki couldn’t even continue the foreplay once he saw Yashiro desperately calling his name. They were craving this, which is why it was so intense and fast, but definitely not rough. I actually thought this chapter was romantic. They were doing it from the front and Yashiro didn’t complain about it. Doumeki initiated another kiss and Yashiro came again right after. Speaking of kissing.. they did at least four separate times, that we know of. Their hands were interlaced at one point. Yashiro dared to touch Doumeki’s head and shoulders, when normally he acts like his hands are tied.

The only thing that would’ve made this “officially” romantic is if Yashiro and Doumeki knew each other’s real feelings and/or changes. Sure, Yashiro thought Doumeki wasn’t being “kind,” but that’s because he assumes that Doumeki has a girlfriend, and it’s clouding his judgement. Yashiro is used to extremely painful sex, so I highly doubt he was in pain while they were literally making LOVE. Knowing what we know about Kido and Ryuuzaki’s lack of sexual stamnia, Yashiro is probably sore because he’s old and his muscles aren’t used to having sex for too long. Bottomline, I think this chapter was another success for their relationship and I’m super excited and optimistic. Also, I’m very sure Yashiro recognized the contact lens case based on his expressions. ALso, big bonus for me was Yashiro and Nanahara’s phone call. Thanks for the ask!

OFFICIAL SAEZURU CHAPTER 53 SPOILER

Yashiro tells Doumeki that he's surprised he's jealous over The Kido Incident when he doesn't have anything to tell Kido anyway. He didn't expect Doumeki to freak out about someone other than Inami.

Honestly, this is so adorable bc Doumeki is like ??? and you can see in his eyes he's wondering how obviously jealous he was/maybe he just got called out for being in love. Meanwhile, Yashiro brings it up and then goes silent like HMMPH I AM THINKING ABOUT YOUR ATTENTION AND MAYBE I WANT MORE BUT I WON'T SAY THAT. This is going to be a snarkfest I can feel it right now.

Hopefully Doumeki gives Yashiro an answer that makes him pause, like he did in volume 1.

The cover of chapter 53 is impressive. I can't with this 🤪🤪🤪🤪 ."This was what I wanted". We always knew, Yashiro.

Unpopolar opinion but I can’t stand people that keep pushing this narrative of doumeki and yashiro not ending up together because the world they live in is cruel and they’re both tragic characters. To me it doesn’t make any sense at all, so you mean to tell that yoneda kept breaking our hearts for more than 10 years just to end things “badly”??? And by the way, yes saezuru is a tragic story, yashiro is a tragic character but that doesn’t mean he can’t be happy in his life at the very end. This is just my opinion but as much as a tragic ending could be the most realistic one for most people I really hope yashiro and doumeki will get together and will be happy, period.

Don’t be fooled babygirl, your opinion isn’t an unpopular one! Most people on here want them to be together, because most people have a heart and want them to be happy. But there is one very vocal person in this space that is unhappy with this story, and instead of moving on to something that gives them joy, they are planting seeds of negativity in whatever way they can come up with. I’ve received so many messages from this person, I stopped replying and blocked them because it was bordering on harassment. Speaking from my personal interactions with them, I can confirm that they have made multiple blogs, so it may seem like a majority of people have the opinion that Y&D shouldn't be together, but it's more than likely coming from the same person. Thanks for bringing it up, it was time to address this insanity lol. And to the people who’ve sent me messages, thank you so much, I will get to all of them soon I hope, when my life settles down a little!!

Hello!

I’ve reread chapters 20-31 for a comparison with the first time D and Y had an intimate encounter. I noticed how Doumeki keeps asking Yashiro to say he wants him, “not just get it done with, or put it in…”. D pauses the lovemaking to wait for the answer, but Yashiro does not say it. And eventually D continues even without hearing what he wanted to hear.

I wonder if Yashiro will give him that recognition this time? The wait is torture…

Hi there! Ah yes, I remember...although Doumeki did get an answer from Yashiro...just not a spoken one. Yashiro slid his butt up to meet him, which signalled he wanted it, but didn't want to say it. Doumeki continued, because he knew that was the best he was going to get from Y at the time. Yashiro didn't say, "get it over with," and he didn't say, "you're the only one I want," but his answer was somewhere in between, kind of like the entire encounter...somewhere in the grey area. Their first time together wasn't completely non-consensual, but it also wasn't completely right either.

This time, Doumeki was going to do it regardless of Yashiro's answer, because he was planning to be one of those mean yakuza guys that Yashiro doesn't refuse. Then, Doumeki became angry when Yashiro refused him again in chapter 51, because despite his best efforts to be mean and rough, he still hadn't convinced Yashiro to let him in. I don't think Doumeki wanted it to be non-consensual in ch 51/52. I think he believed that Yashiro would let him do it if he acted mean.

"Would you be satisfied if I violated you," in this context doesn't mean "I'm going to do something you don't like," it meant, "I'm going to do it the way you like." Doumeki is getting increasingly frustrated watching Yashiro get used and hurt by other guys, without being able to do ANYTHING. His anger isn't completely directed at Yashiro..a lot of it is frustration and hopelessness at his situation. Whatever, he does, whichever way he approaches Yashiro, he gets shot down, and it's starting to wear on him. His frustration is coming out more and more, because he doesn't see a way in. He doesn't see a good way he can get Yashiro to let him take care of his sexual needs, so that he doesn't get used and abused by the likes of Kido and Inami. If Doumeki's true aim was to rape Yashiro, he simply wouldn't be angry at this situation, and he would just take what he wants. But, Doumeki wants Yashiro to consent.

And I think Yashiro realized this. And he let Doumeki in. Yashiro let Doumeki do him, knowing it wasn't going to be gentle and romantic, the way he actually wanted it. It was clear from the way Doumeki was biting him and flipping him around on the floor, that they weren't going to be lovey-dovey, but Y let it happen anyways. Remember, Yashiro didn't realize how frustrated Doumeki was feeling until that moment. Seeing the hopelessness through Doumeki's burst of emotions made Yashiro accept him. In the end, Yashiro relented to calm Doumeki's anxiety. Despite wanting something completely different, and even telling Doumeki in the past that there was no need to tie his hands etc., he put aside his own desires, for Doumeki. Yashiro let Doumeki believe afterwards that he was satisfied with the treatment. And although he was satisfied, it’s not the way that’s ideal for him, or even sustainable in the long run. Yashiro relented, not begrudgingly, but still at the expense of his own desires, and ultimately well-being. The end goal is that eventually they will both get the recognition they are craving. Thanks for the ask!

married before even kiss

CHAPTER 52 SPOILERS WITH MORE TOUCHING.

We have reached The Golden Age of Saezuru Part 2. Welcome. There are mops and towels to the left. Enjoy your stay.

What do you think will happen in the next chapter?

Well, I know you sent this a few days ago, so you probably have your question answered by now lol. Unless Ryuuzu stage an attack on Sakura Group or something extremely dramatic happens to pull those two away from each other, I think we will see some sexy times. But, tbh, I'm not sure if Doumeki will go allllll the way, since he is getting straight to the point, and normally he would take his time, he'd be more touchy, and more kissy. Can't wait to find out!!!