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chronicowboy · 1 year

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Eddie gets the call at 9:03 am, and hangs up on Bobby before he can even finish saying awake.

The drive to the hospital is a blur of green lights and bright morning sun.

He doesn't remember parking anymore than he remembers the pulling the ambulance's handbrake a full week ago.

He doesn't remember the half-walk, half-jog up to Buck's room anymore than he remembers the distant whisper of pain that had hit him when he'd been thrown off the truck.

He does remember the catatonic fear that had swallowed him whole, the screams that had torn his throat to shreds and still echo in his mind during moments of quiet that would usually be filled by Buck's random facts, the desperation that had possessed him as he tried to haul 200 pounds of dead weight up by a length of red cord with nothing more than some slick metal rungs for footing.

He remembers the agonising stretch of time - too much time - between lowering Buck to Bobby and flying down the ladder, the way his whole body had seized up in terror when he saw Chim performing CPR, the white-knuckled drive to the hospital wondering if he'd be the reason Buck died every time he had to press on the brake pedal, he remembers pushing Chim away and shocking Buck's heart back into rhythm.

Most of all he remembers telling Christopher what had happened. He'd barely been keeping it together ever since Bobby had pulled him into a hug, the only reason he hadn't let it go was because he needed to tell Chris and he wasn't sure he'd be able to if he let the reality set in. It didn't matter in the end. Watching Christopher's face crumple was enough to send him off the deep end.

Its a miracle he's still going.

Which is when he freezes in the middle of a busy hospital hallway.

He's thirty yards away from the door that leads to Buck's room, thirty yards away from a now awake Buck, thirty yards way from a Buck he was begging to wake up just yesterday.

But he can't move.

Something inside of him plants his feet to the floor and roots him there in the steady flow of nurses and doctors.

Its the same thing that tore the screams from his chest, the same thing that got him up to Buck on the ladder, the same thing that got the ambulance to the hospital.

Its the same thing that had him accepting Buck's offer to drive him to pick Christopher up after an earthquake, the same thing that had him calling up his attorney when he was still shivering, the same thing that made him meet Buck's eyes when he announced his transfer from the 118.

If he's really honest with himself, its the same thing that had him squaring up to Buck's challenging eyes in the dim lights of the loft kitchen, the same thing that had him reaching for Buck when his life was leaking out of his shoulder, the same thing that's had him scared to push anything with Buck for the past few months for feeling like he's always one step away from falling off the edge of something.

Its that same, utterly unknowable, wholly confusing thing that seems to be tied to Buck.

Its that thing that has him practicing one of Frank's breathing techniques as he sinks into a nearby chair.

Maybe he's a coward.

Maybe he's terrified of what he'll find.

Maybe he's tired of pretending that a relieved hey, Buck from the hospital doorway is all he wants to say.

All he knows is that every member of the 118 rushes right past him at some point.

Bobby's already in there.

Maddie comes next, flying past him, harried but smiling. Chimney's close behind with Jee-Yun propped on his hip.

Hen arrives about ten minutes later, already sniffling.

Athena is the last one to arrive, still in her uniform, and also the only one to see him. She sits down in the seat next to his with little fanfare, her only outward reaction the quick glance she shoots down the hallway.

"How is he?" she asks gently. Eddie only shrugs. Athena hums like she'd known the answer before she'd asked. "Poor boy is probably overwhelmed by his crazy family, smart of you to not add to that." Eddie scoffs. "You know, when Bobby stayed in that tunnel, all the tests that came after it, I made him promise to tell me the moment he got any news. I didn't care if I was in the middle of a covert operation, he was to call me up and blow my cover. But when the big call came, I'd had a night shift, so I was still in bed. I realised what was happening when the voices got closer, but when Bobby opened the door, I pretended to be asleep." He startles as Athena's hand finds his, but he tightens his grip on her fingers. "Call me selfish, but I was terrified. I knew he'd need me to be strong in that moment, but I didn't feel strong. And I hated myself for it the second he closed the bedroom door. But, I guess, fear for the people we love makes us irrational. It makes us angry and spiteful and, above all, it makes us brave. Because everything worth loving is worth all the terror in the world."

Athena pats his hand before standing and disappearing into Buck's room.

Eddie stays a coward.

Buck is worth all the goddamn fear in the universe, Eddie's just not brave enough to face up to what that means.

He's not sure how long he sits there, but its long enough to watch Athena return to the remainder of her shift. Long enough to watch Chim pass him by with a sleeping toddler cuddled against his chest and a confused look at Eddie. Long enough for Hen to pass him telling Karen that she'll pick Denny up from school because she's going that way anyway. Long enough for Bobby to hesitate in front of him before reappearing with two cups of shitty black coffee. Long enough for Maddie to come to a stop in front of them.

"Eddie," she breathes, slightly shaky but still smiling, "I was wondering where you were."

"I'm sorry, I-" He bites his lip to keep the pained noise locked in his throat. Its the first thing he's said since he dropped Chris off at school. "I couldn't-"

"I know." Maddie's eyes are warm and understanding, her expression a little too knowing.

"Is he-"

"He's fine. Asleep again," she sighs. "But the doctors said that he'll be very in and out of it for the next couple of days, so its nothing to worry about. He's just lethargic and achy, but he's already desperate to get home."

"Of course, he is," Bobby chuckles fondly. "You heard him asking about Christopher, of course he wants to go home."

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut against the dizzying sweep of something that rocks him to his core. He's not sure what provokes the reaction exactly, can't parse whether its the fact that Buck woke up and asked for his son, or the implication that Buck's home is with Eddie and Chris.

"I was actually coming to find you," Maddie directs this at Bobby, but her eyes stay on Eddie. "I have to go save Howie from his dad. I didn't want to leave him to wake up alone."

"I actually have to meet with the chief in half an hour, debrief him on the Buck situation."

Two pairs of eyes land on him.

"Would you," Eddie clears his throat, "would you pick Chris up after your meeting? Bring him here?"

"He's with Carla?" Bobby asks. Eddie nods. "Of course."

Eddie gets up before he can change his mind and marches down to Buck's door like a man on a mission. He hesitates at the threshold, hand hovering over the door knob, before pushing inside.

His breath catches.

For the past week, surrounded by all the machines, an array of tubes coming out of his body, blankets tucked up to his chin, Buck has looked terrifying. Too pale, too still, too troubled to pretend he was just sleeping. Eddie had no idea how Chris managed it. But, now, there's colour back in his cheeks, his curls messy on the pillow, face twitching in his sleep. He looks young and content and peaceful. He looks how he does when he's crashing on the Diaz couch.

Eddie collapses into the chair by Buck's bedside and reaches for his hand with a choked, little sob. He reaches up to brush a stray curl off of Buck's forehead when suddenly two stunningly blue eyes slowly crack open.

"Hey," Buck slurs, eyes fluttering shut once again.

"Hey, cowboy," Eddie whispers. Buck huffs a breathy laugh.

"S'rry, tried to stay awake for you." Buck leans into the featherlight touch of Eddie's fingertips on his skin, and Eddie is brave. He cups Buck's cheek.

"Sorry I took so long, but I'm here now."

"You're here." Buck smiles gently, already halfway back to sleep.

"Get some rest, Chris will be by later."

"I'll wake up when he gets here."

"I know you will."

#sami rambles #just wanted eddie to get his moment alone with buck so here #yes im writing these little ficlets to avoid uni assignments what about it #911 spoilers #911 show #911 fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #buck x eddie #911 spec #911 fic #buddie fic #buck x eddie fic #911 spec fic #buddie fanfic

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princessamericachavez · 1 year

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I still can’t believe how unhinged the couch thing is.

In s5 we see that Taylor brings her couch into the loft even though Buck has one and they have a problem from the get go because both couches (aka their personalities, their lives, their wants) do not fit in at the same time. They are both too attached to their own individual lives and goals to actually share a life. There’s no space for both of them in that home.

Ok anyway moving on Taylor is gone and we have an empty space where she forced her couch into Buck’s space.

Anyway, my point is: 6x1 we have the whole couch conversation and it’s always been such an OBVIOUS metaphor for Buck and Eddie’s relationship that it drives me insane.

“You know, I think it’s weird that he’s struggling to pick a replacement when he has so many excellent options right under his nose.”

“Like you?”

“It’s like he’s choosing not to see them and everything they have to offer.”

In the same season where we now know that Eddie will be exploring his dating options and going out with other people?????? Are you kidding me???????????

Buck saying this while he cooks for Eddie and Chris???? While he offers food and comfort??? In a show that has consistently utilized cooking and feeding others as a clear metaphor for love and family?!?!

And they even hammer it in again!!!

“What are you offering?”

“Right now, Bobby’s famous lasagna.”

I need to talk about thisssss. Because not only have we been presented with the idea of food as love and nurturing but also cooking as personal growth, about learning to nurture yourself and others and getting out of the darkness. Think about Bobby after joining the 118. But also think about Maddie being impressed by Buck “growing up” represented by Buck having learned cooking skills from Bobby. Think about Eddie going to therapy and swapping recipes with Linda and learning to be better and look after himself after getting chewed off by his dad for burning breakfast for his mom and sisters.

What Buck is offering is his own growth as a person. Is saying “I’ve put myself back together”. It’s saying “I’ve been working on myself for five years to become a better man”. It’s saying “it’s taken me several tries but I’m finally getting there.”

And of course after all that it’s when we go fully into the couch metaphor. It’s hard to say much about this dialogue that hasn’t been said before, but mostly I want to highlight that, for Buck, this metaphor is tightly tied to romantic relationships. “My last two couches came with girlfriends” and “maybe I don’t want to pick the wrong couch again”. But it’s also the fact that Buck picks his chair to take the couch’s spot for now. That is Buck. Buck being single.

The whole metaphor could’ve simply been about Buck realizing he doesn’t need a relationship to define him and who he is and that he should choose his own path and create a space in his home for himself. But if that was the case he would’ve just bought a couch for himself. The single chair represents his single path at the moment. The couch will be a romantic metaphor.

All of this to say that it’s absolutely unhinged that this is the last shot of Eddie we see in 6a.

And this comes after a) Buck called to give them the baby news, b) Eddie looked less than pleased at the reveal, c) Eddie hung up saying he was gonna try to get some sleep before taking Chris to school.

Except we see him drop the controller here. So he clearly kept playing. Even though he looked quite frustrated there. Fighting with himself. Anyway clearly something was bothering him.

What’s insane to me is that we cut immediately from this shot to Buck sleeping and the whole baby onesie shot. And I don’t think it could be any more obvious that we are meant to connect these two dots. Especially when we see them in the same montage as Henren and Maddnie sleeping together on their respective beds. And we know Buck’s whole donor thing was partly motivated by other things, like his need to be useful to others and save everyone, but also his eternal search for family and perhaps a call to fatherhood (even though he’s clearly not struggling with separating the idea as everyone expected).

Anyway, I do think having Eddie sleep on his couch rather than his bed was certainly A CHOICE. and it feels even more obvious when we know what happens in 6b.

I love that the Buckley’s brought up Buck’s lack of couch an episode before. HEY REMEMBER THIS? And it’s so much A Thing that we see that even Maddie gets it.

Which is so important considering the very. next. episode. we are going to get the most obvious callback to this metaphor in the shape of Buck finally finding rest and peace at Eddie’s couch?!?!?!

THEY ARE SO UNHINGED FOR THIS

And then they go as far as to have Buck point out “how did I pass out so fast?”

Like boyyyyyy you’re this 🤏🏽 close to figuring it out!!!!!!!

Anyway I cannot WAIT to see how they bring it up again and how Margaret’s couch finds its demise and especially knowing Buck’s very last scene of the season will touch back on the metaphor.

It will be so insane if they actually pull this off!!!!!!!

#buddie #Evan buck Buckley #911 fox #Eddie Diaz #911 spec

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loveyourownsmiilee · 1 year

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Talking Buddie Language: Ep 6.15

This episode was really a rollercoaster of emotions. One of the main themes being death and grief made it very hard to watch for any one who have lost a loved one, especially a parent. I want to send anyone who struggled with this episode a big hug on my behalf 💜

We got a few good moments within this episode and a great Buck and Eddie moment in my opinion and I for one am really excited to get into it. There’s so much build up that continues with each and every episode which makes me believe we’re heading towards a huge finale. The ride’s been bumpy but we’re getting closer friends.

Before getting into this meta, one little thing I want to highlight is how we’re seeing Buck and Eddie working together again as partners on the job. Not only that, but they do such a wonderful job framing them two being close to each other and constantly looking at one another. In the first call we see Eddie looking back at Buck as he walks past him and I just love those little bits we get. Now I don’t know if it’s Ryan and Oliver’s little twist or it’s actually on the script, but I love to see it nonetheless.

Diaz Boys Visit Shannon

I really found the scene with Christopher and Eddie, visiting Shannon‘s grave to be so heartbreaking and emotional because we haven’t really had them talking about their grieving when it comes to her. The last we really heard of Shannon was in 5.10 during the Christmas episode where Christopher was worried. I really loved that they showed us Christopher talking to his mother about his accomplishments and schoolwork and his likes. This was about the Diaz family in its entirety but I can’t help but notice the bold parallel we get with Christopher and Eddie in this scene.

C: Do you think she can hear us when we talk to her?

E: Absolutely. That’s why we come here.

Now just to refresh anyone’s memory, back in 6.11 when Chris begged to see Buck while he was in a coma, we got him asking Eddie and Hen:

C: Can he hear me?

H: Bet he can.

He talks to Shannon and Buck the same, quiet and lovely way. His voice is steady and you can hear how much he loves the both of them. And I think with this blatant parallel, the show really is trying to emphasize how important Buck is in not only Eddie’s life, but Christopher’s as well. They’ve done a lot to highlight Buck and Christopher’s relationship aside from Eddie and this moment where he talks to his mother, in the same tone of voice as he did Buck, really speaks volumes as to what they’re trying to convey to their audience.

But going back to Eddie and Christopher, you can see how both of them are still grieving the loss of their mother and wife. Eddie is really trying not to tear up even though it’s hard, especially when he knows his son is still hurting from losing his mother at a young age. The part with the s’mores really made me so emotional because of what it can represent.

C: Can we make an extra one for mom?

E: Always.

The way I interpreted this scene was Christopher shyly, asking his father if they can keep his mother’s memory alive. To which Eddie confirms that she will always be a part of their lives, and in their hearts. It also ties in with what we saw last week with Eddie struggling to date/move on, but embracing that he doesn’t want to be alone forever.

Talk About Taxes At The 118

One of my favorite things on the show is when the firefam discuss literally all their life problems with each other at work. This time we see Chimney freaking out about the fact that him and Maddie are getting audited. This then leads into everyone else discussing how they do their taxes and there’s just a cute moment that I wanted to highlight here between Buck and Eddie, that came to be because of Ravi.

R: Look don’t beat yourself up Chim. I’m not great at doing my taxes either. No one is.

B: Uh, I am!

R: Seriously?

E: You missed his whole super power phase.

I love the fact that Ravi really questioned Buck because he was in disbelief over the fact that he may be smart enough to do his taxes. Which I know is like a running thing within the firefam that Buck is not as smart as he seems. But that’s like the opposite of what is in fact true because we’ve actually seen him come up with really wonderful saves while they’re trying to help the victims. I love how Eddie reverts to his usual flirty teasing ways but does it with such fondness that it would make anyone blush. He even looks at Buck while he says it and prolongs his stare just a little bit. It’s small things like these that really makes me wonder how it’s not obvious to anybody else that Eddie seems to be in love with Buck.

The Living Funeral

This was definitely something we haven’t seen before. The fact that there was a living funeral that got interrupted by an actual car crash was ironic in my opinion. Poor Marie just wanted a reunion with her friends and family that she hadn’t seen in a while and she ended up injured at this living funeral that they put for her.

One thing I found very interesting was the fact that Natalia was the one kneeling next to Marie. But the way they shot that scene, you see Eddie coming to take over where she’s kneeling, and she immediately gives up her place to him. Now I don’t know if I’m just seeing things or thinking things, but something about that specific moment, makes me feel like she is going to be some sort of placeholder for Eddie in the very near future. And when I say, placeholder, I mean a placeholder for what Eddie represents in Buck’s life. It may be possible for Buck to be interested in her on a romantic level. However, I don’t think that’s going to be the right partner for him and I will go into that a little bit more later on. Just the important thing here is the fact that I feel like, she is in place of Eddie currently, but he will eventually take over what she is representing in Buck’s life.

I love seeing Buck and Eddie, working together as partners again on the field. Just having Bobby say their names together made me feel all warm inside. This season we have seen Eddie take on more of a medic role and I just really miss him and Buck being fire fighting partners together.

When Eddie, Hen, and Buck are at Marie’s side, I want to highlight how the moment she explains that this funeral was for her, Eddie immediately looks over to Buck, while Buck looks over to Hen. They’re all in disbelief but one thing I find consistent with them on calls is them looking at each other when their victims say crazy things. So the fact that Eddie reverted to immediately look at Buck, but Buck was looking at Hen kind of teases some miscommunication amongst them two. They’re always in sync so the fact that this one tiny moment you can see them not being on the same wavelength really does tell me that there’ll be a misunderstanding or miscommunication of sorts soon.

M: We’re all gonna die alone. Might as well spend time with our loved ones while we’re still living.

Eddie’s face after she said that to him broke me. This was very reminiscent to Lev’s final words to Buck in 6.04. Buck collects old men while Eddie collects old women right? I believe her words are going to have a massive impact on Eddie these last few episodes, just how Lev’s words stayed with Buck throughout the majority of this season.

The End Of Life Doula

I love how when Marie introduces Natalia to them, Hen and Eddie look at her questionably. Meanwhile Buck seems intrigued almost immediately. This parallels to when he met Taylor Kelly for the first time when they saved her from the helicopter and he was smitten pretty much from the beginning. That’s the thing with Buck. He always dives in head first without actually sitting down and thinking about it fully. He sees a cute and interesting girl and is sold right away.

Buck seemed interested in her because of what she does and he tried his awkward flirting with her from the very beginning. The man clearly has unresolved trauma from his brush with death, and he is clearly not seeking help for it. So it makes sense that he would be interested in someone who helps with people dying.

From the way she was responding to him, you can tell there was no immediate attraction or interest on her part. Well, until she found out that he died. Then you see her facial expression morph into that of interest, and she immediately wanted to find out more. Which clearly was unexpected for Buck because he seemed confused when she told him the fact that he died was awesome! He even looked very shocked that she asked him out for coffee. There is clearly some kind of disconnect there, because it’s so obvious that he is thinking she’s really interested in him, meanwhile, she’s literally interested in the fact that he died.

Eddie Talks To His Mom

I love any and all scenes we get with the Diaz boys. I love how this season we’ve gotten so much Christopher content and he’s literally growing up in front of our eyes. He is so bossy and sassy and clearly running things in that household and we adore him for it. It also makes me believe he’s going to be a part of a bigger storyline that ties the season together.

C: We’re gonna be late. Dad hurry up.

I will say, Eddie trying to make time to go back home is something. He’s in a much better place with his parents and he genuinely wants to go and visit them. He also knows that time isn’t promised to anyone so he should see his family as often as he can. And that’s just coming out of the living funeral. But one thing that Eddie said really raised the hairs on my neck because it was such an obvious foreshadowing and not a good one at that.

E: We’ll figure something out ok, I promise. We got time.

Now the concept of time has been following Eddie around for many seasons now. The most recent one was literally mentioned in 6.01 when he’s playing the game with Chris at Buck’s loft.

E: Time. Aw you’ll win next time.

There’s just something about the concept of Eddie really thinking he has all this time to do something. Now what that something is is the question here, but the last time we had him give any sort of advice on time, it was to Chimney. He literally told him, “Tomorrow is not promised. So if you love her, tell her.” This is why I believe that the way they have Eddie continuously talking about time and how he has so much of it, especially knowing that he’s now open to finding love right at the time where the one person that might be the best partner for him is seeking love elsewhere, says a lot. Maybe now it’s his time because he’s sort of running out and he needs to do or say something before he really is out of it.

Date With The Death Doula

This date was literally giving the same cringey vibes as Ana and Eddie’s first date. The fact that Buck was super flirty and seemed into her, but she wasn’t, says so much to anyone watching. He was leaning in towards her the entire time but he did have his arms folded in front of him, which indicates he’s not fully opening all of himself up to her. He’s keeping some things to himself. She had sat back in her chair the entire time and really was just interested in what he had to say about his death, which was worrisome to be honest. It felt like she was questioning him and studying him for her own enjoyment, which is exactly how Taylor was any time they had scenes together.

Buck was definitely flirty with her with his little sparkly eyes, the way he teased her on being a death fan girl but it lacked it from her. You only see her show interest when she leans in towards him the moment he opens up about his coma dream.

Her calling him being close to death “cool” threw him back for a second because he seemed confused as to why she would consider that cool. But again he brushed it off as if she has some weird obsession to it. Which really should’ve been his biggest red flag, but alas Buck doesn’t realize the bad habits he partakes in most of the times.

The biggest takeaway from this “date” is the fact that it was literally built on death, and I don’t see how anything could bloom out of this. It foreshadows this so called “relationship” dying out eventually. Then he told her about his coma dream, which is ironic because he mainly told her about something that wasn’t real. We’ve never seen him talk to Eddie about his coma, dream, only things and feelings that are real to him concerning his death. That distinct difference is very loud in my opinion. Makes you think about the choices they’re making to show how he is with others and how he is with Eddie.

Buck and Eddie Have A Deep Talk At The Cemetary

I can’t believe they dressed so similarly to what they wore in 5.14!! Thank you Miss Taylor Wong for both episodes. Honestly, my heart was really breaking for Eddie during this entire scene.

First of all, these two literally do not comprehend the definition of personal space and I love them for it. As I have mentioned in my previous metas, their bodies are so in tune with the others that they just gravitate towards each other like magnets. They also always dress up for the other. Every single time we get Buck and Eddie doing something together, they're in their best clothes, which is funny considering Buck wore literal joggers on his "date" with Natalia.

E: We're all gonna die alone. It's what she said to me and Hen.

Poor Eddie really is going through it these last few episodes with the whole being alone and dying alone thing. Here's the thing, he did lose a spouse and he still hasn't fully gotten over that. But something about the last episode where he was in agreement about him not wanting to be alone, to now telling Buck they're all going to die alone says something.

It's the fact that it's these two together discussing dying alone when the few times either man almost died, or in Buck's case did actually die, they weren't alone at all. In fact, they were with each other. Buck was the person standing in front of Eddie when he got shot and he was the one who saved him. Eddie was at the bottom of the ladder and he ran up to get to Buck when he got hit by the lightning. Neither man was alone. But the way Eddie says that kind of indicates that he is anticipating be alone in death.

Now I don't want to go too much into speculating why he would think that, but I did find it interesting he said it to Buck, almost as if he already knows Buck won't be by his side in the very end. That's a rather morbid thought and I think it really does come from Eddie having feelings for Buck, but fully believing it's one-sided. I can't get over Eddie being so in love with Buck that he just knows he will never find another partner that is perfect for him. So he'll have to suffer through Buck moving on and finding the right partner, starting his own family, when Eddie is left behind loving him til his last breath. Now I know Eddie is dramatic and so was this little speculation so I apologize for that.

I found it interesting that Eddie was the one to bring up Natalia and not in his usually jealous teasing way. He opened the door for Buck to discuss her and discuss he did.

B: Yeah, uh Natalia. I may have paid her a visit too.

(Gif by @eddiediaaz)

Eddie's immediate reaction is that of exasperation. He is clearly already over hearing the same damn story all over again because that's what it always is, the same story every time Buck meets a woman on a call.

E: Really?

His voice is so heartbroken in this one word. He seems in disbelief but also you can hear how it's not his usual tone of voice. He isn't really teasing him or jealous even, just hurt.

E: Dating somebody you rescued. You know that never ends well.

Eddie is literally speaking from his and Buck's own personal experiences. Any sane person would be able to tell that Buck is reverting back to old habits where he gets all excited about the possibility of a new relationship when he's experienced something traumatic. What he needs is a therapist to be honest.

B: This is different. Anyway she wanted to ask me about the lightning strike.

E: Right, you love being the guy with the answers.

(Gifs by @eddiediaaz)

Something about this line delivery from Eddie really makes the viewer see how much he listens to Buck. Not only that, but he pays attention and retains everything he says. He also proves how well he knows Buck with just that one line. And this is before Buck even goes on to break his heart a little bit.

B: There's something different about her. I feel like she sees me. You know, she, she really sees me for who I am and what I've been through. I think she might even see more in me than I see in myself.

The way Eddie immediately turns his head and looks at Buck in disbelief screams volumes. He cannot believe Buck would say that to him of all people, especially considering that Eddie is the person who knows Buck the best. Isn't that what 6.12 proved to us? That he is Buck's person, the one who knows him truly inside and out, the one where he doesn't have to pretend with. So clearly you can see how Buck's words hurt Eddie. But I don’t think that was Buck’s intentions at all. I think sometimes, it’s easier to open up to a stranger because you know there won’t be any judgement or criticism from them that may come from someone who already knows you. Especially when it’s someone who knows you on a somewhat intimate level. Not saying Eddie would do either of those things. But maybe for Buck, talking about his death to a stranger was somewhat easier because he didn’t have to really dive into all the feelings he has behind it. Whereas he can’t lie to Eddie because he knows him better than anyone else. It was also much less serious with Natalia, whereas he was so honest and raw when discussing about it with Eddie.

E: Look I know we razzed you about your own math skills. Maybe I even tried to get rich off em. To be honest, you haven't been the same since it happened. How could you?

This whole scene really is very loaded. You can see the exact moment Eddie comes to a certain realization because of the way his eyes drift away from Buck and look off into the distance. He is connecting the dots about something. To be honest, I think this was somewhat of an oh moment for him. I think it was mostly him realizing that he himself is different after Buck's death. I mentioned in my 6.12 meta how the way Eddie was talking about how Buck would have feelings about his death implied that he had some unresolved feelings about Buck's death as well. I think witnessing Buck die for 3 minutes and 17 seconds really took a toll on Eddie as we saw in 6.11. He was grieving, he did not handle it well. And that is why he differs from Natalia. Whereas Natalia was so interested and wanted to know more about Buck dying, Eddie couldn't even look at him. He couldn't talk to him and just thinking about the fact that he had to live in a world without Buck for any amount of time killed him. It changed him forever and I think there needs to come a point where Eddie talks about his own feelings regarding Buck's death.

B: Truth is, I uh, I still feel like I have to try and be the same Buck, mostly for the sake of everyone else.

(Gifs by @bilosan)

Eddie shaking his head at Buck's words show that he does know him better than anyone else, especially someone he just met.

E: You don't have to be anything for anybody. And no one is ever the same. From 1 day to the next. Experiences like this, it change us. So what changed in you?

B: When I woke up in that hospital I felt like I had gotten away with something.

E: You cheated death.

I love how when Buck talks about someone else seeing who he is, Eddie shows him that no one will know him and understand him the way he does. Buck can say something and Eddie will know where his line of thinking is headed towards.

B: My life could’ve ended, right then and there. But it uh, it didn't. That has to mean something right?

E: It means you're one lucky guy.

B: Yeah, well I don't think Ima get that lucky again.

E: Well maybe you don't have to. Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice.

B: Which is why I have to make the most out of every single moment.

When Buck pauses here, you can see Eddie tilting his head towards him and patiently waiting for what he has to say. The moment it registers that Buck is looking for something other than Eddie, you see his expression drop a bit. He knows he really is alone at the moment and that Buck is going to give someone else a chance, and you can see the hurt on his face.

B: It's all a gift.

Now some thing that kept playing in the back of my mind while watching this scene was the Buckley Diaz family scene from 6.01 where Buck is complaining about Lucy getting chosen as interim caption instead of himself.

B: Struggling to pick a replacement when he has so many other excellent options right under his nose.

E: Like you?

B: It’s like he’s choosing not to see them and everything they have to offer.

Note how similar these two scenes are to each other. Eddie once again proving how well he knows Buck and knowing where his line of thinking is headed. But it's the fact that Buck is the one explicitly saying how there is the chance of choosing not to see someone who is right under his nose, and everything they offer. Because Eddie has been showing him he loves him in his own way for years now. He literally gave Buck the most precious thing he had, his entire world, his son, on a silver platter and Buck chose not to see that for what it really was worth. So now, it's going to be time for Buck to really open his eyes and realize that instead of repeating the same bad habits and jumping into relationships with people who are bad for him, that he gives someone who has been there in front of him the whole time, a shot. I think they have laid out all the pieces perfectly to get these two together, but they're slowly building the puzzle. We will get it done eventually friends.

Eddie’s Going To El Paso

I love how the man seems to want to flee the state in midst of everything he found out about regarding Buck being into the death doula. Now I’m only partly joking but I think it’s nice that he wants to go back.

The couch parallel scene with Christopher is so loud!! They had Eddie literally come and see Christopher asleep the same exact way we saw him see Buck asleep in 6.12. The couch metaphor is supposed to be present leading up to the finale and so far, every single thing we’ve seen involving a couch has been related to the Diaz boys. I mean it’s not that hard to imply what it can all mean especially for the finale.

The picture of Shannon and Chris falling possibly foreshadows something bad happening to the Diaz family. Now I’m not quite sure if something will happen to Christopher or a family member of Eddie’s. But I think it was pointed to having the picture of them fall and that being the thing that makes Eddie want to call his mom back and tell her they’re going back.

Finally, the way Eddie was looking at that photo just tells me he’s finally in a place that he wants to move on. He wants to find that love again and a partner in life again. And I think he knows who that person is but he’s running out of time to do something about it. So it’ll be interesting to see how this storyline develops further. I wonder if we’ll see pining Eddie or jealous Eddie or an Eddie that goes out and opens himself up to different possibilities to get over Buck. I’m intrigued to see what the rest of the episodes have in store for us for both men! It’s definitely going to be crazy ride for sure!

Thank you so much if you took the time to read this entirely. It really means a lot to me. If you’d like to be tagged in these, please let me know here. Finally, a big thank you to my lovely @aa-lionheart for all the wonderful gifs 💜

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #911 spoilers #911 meta #buddie meta #buddie language meta #911 speculation #this took forever and I’m so so sorry friends

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stagefoureddiediaz · 1 year

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How is it I've ended up in a situation where i end up writing two costume metas a week now 🤔😂😳 We are sneak peek meta'ing as there is some juicy stuff in the sneak peaks we've had!! First up,

Madney!!

Lots of check - sooooo much check going on here!! the interesting thing about having both of them in check is how they contrast each other - I think we'll see that Maddie is more confused about things than Chimney is as the episode unfolds. Maddies jacket being a variety of check hints at confusion and danger on multiple fronts - I'd be prepared to put money down on Maddie not only reckoning with the Doug of the equation, but also there being further things for her in relation to her parents and some things around Jee-Yun as well. How exactly we'll see all that play out and how much detail they'll go into over it I have no idea, but I can see 2 possibly 3 different tweed chcks on her jacket, so there are likely to be 2 or 3 things that she has to face up to.

Chimneys Check has however been lurking there below the surface all season long and that very much plays into the longer arc we've seen for him this season. I would've loved to have actually seen the joint therapy session we were supposed to get at the start of the season because I'm sure it would've played into this underlying foreshadowing of danger we have for him, but I have a theory about why we didn't end up seeing it. Chimney's check has nearly always been close to his skin - by that I mean shirts rather than jumpers or jackets - and we've seen a lot of times where it is hidden under a plain jumper or jacket. I don't want to jump the gun too much by making crazy predictions, but as well as foreshadowing his season finale injury, I think we might be seeing some foreshadowing for Chimney keeping some stuff close to his chest that we will get to see play out in season 7 - its feeling very much like this season is setting up some sort of Chimney trauma healing arc that is bigger than the smallish stuff we've been given so far - it has always felt a little off that we never really got to dig into the stuff with Chimneys father more than we did and then with the Kevin stuff we got in the last episode, it feels like the show building towards something bigger for him and the costumes are aiding this subtext.

Eddie and Chris

there are all of the things going on here in this scene!! firstly as has already been mentioned - it is the same knit hoodie that Eddie was wearing in 5x14. We'll come back to Eddie though - I want to start with Chris!

This is the first time we've ever seen Chris in a denim jacket, in fact we've never actually seen him in a jacket at all, we've only seen him in hoodies up to this point. there is something about this being the first time we see him wear one - at Shannons grave side. Denim jackets are culturally tied to westerns, cowboys and to Texas. Christopher wearing one here would appear to be a visual way of tying him to the childhood he had with his mother - backing up the conversation about making s'mores with her when he was younger.

We can't not talk about the striped hoodie Stripes according to my theory are all about change incoming - the theory hasn't yet been disproven by the wardrobe department and I get the feeling that here is no different. The idea that a change is coming in Christophers life is one that has been hovering around for a little while and the narrowing of the stripes would suggest that change is getting closer. I can't not mention the fact that the hoodie is also white and grey striped - the horizontal version of Buck shirt from the shooting. this is suggesting two things to me - one it is connecting Chris directly to the fact he nearly lost both parents - sitting at the grave of one parent while wearing something that echoes an outfit from the moment he could've lost a second parent. I also think there is something in the connection to Buck specifically in this - its directly connected to the will and that Chris has a third parent - I can't wait to see if I'm just clowning hard, or if the change the stripes Chris is wearing are foreshadowing some connetion to the will!

I do want to touch on the fact that he has short trousers on here - I'm fascinated by them as a choice because again, they're not something we've seen Chris wearing before and my brain automatically went to Buck and the short trousers he has been wearing a lot of. The ones we see Chris in here are a bit shorter than the ones Buck wears but I do think it was an interesting choice - I hope we get to see Chris moving in them so I can see exactly how short they actually are, because if they are meant to mimic Bucks then that is very much a choice by the costume department - to connect Christophers past with his present and future!

Back to Eddies greenish black hoodie. while there is very much the connection to Buck misunderstanding the assignment and the heart metaphors at play, there is another aspect to this outfit being worn again and that is his therapy session with Frank

You get some weird screenshots from this scene from me because I want you to look at Eddies arm (this is literally the only vaguely decent shot of it I can get from the sneak peek!) and notice how Eddie is very much not wearing his watch - there is no watch to be seen work or home or fancy watch!!! this is very much saying that Eddie isn't racing against time here or any of the other time metaphors that are in play - other than Eddie has time, that Eddie has moved on and is at peace with Shannon now - something also supported by the choice of flowers at the grave.

I love flower meanings (if you hadn't already figured that out) and the bouquet of roses with some goldenrods is interesting! Goldenrods represent happiness and sincerity and are also associated with new beginnings. The roses are in dark red, coral orange, pale yellow and white. Roses are all generally associated with love, but each colour represents a different aspects or types of love. they do also have some other meanings attached to them. Yellow roses are symbols of friendship and they are connected with Dia de Muertos - the day of the dead, where they are a symbol of remembrance. The white roses are a symbol of innocence and purity, but also represent new beginnings (which is why they're often seen at weddings). the red roses are romantic love and the orange ones bridge the gap between romantic love and friendship - interesting that there is the most of these ones - suggesting that Eddies feelings towards Shannon sit more in the fond friendship and remembrance zone rather than the romantic zone - its saying that Eddie has and is moving on from her - that he will always think of her with love and affection, but that those feelings have subsided into something more like friendship. This is a clear symbol of Eddie being ready to move on fro her.

Natalia

Oh there is so much going on here that I can't even begin to tell you!!!

first up - her hand is bound in a handkerchief with what appear to be blue roses.

Roses in general terms mean love - red for romantic, yellow for friendship etc. Blue roses mean unattainable love (because they do not occur naturally - only through artificial means) - so that would suggest that both love is unattainable for both Natalia and Buck in this direction but also that any feelings etc are not real - they can only be achieved through synthetic or artificial means - suggesting that any attempt at a relationship is going to be forced. Blue roses can also mean (especially the lighter shades of blue) emotions - specifically the finding of hope peace and tranquility. So with all of this in mind we end up with the concept of Buck finding what he’s looking for and that Natalia will help him get there, but that it isn't love, its the peace, tranquility and happiness that he's been seeking.

Natalia wearing a black velvet blazer is also a telling choice - here we have a connection to Bucks date not date outfit from 6x13. Not only does this jacket therefore tie into the idea of dates not actually being dates, that one of them may think that a potential date is a date, when it is in fact not one, but it also plays into the mixed feelings title from that episode as well. overall the jacket is playing into the idea of misunderstandings on some level (Buck continuing to misunderstand the assignment!)

I know you're all staring at how pretty she is, but I want you to look at that necklace!! We have seen that necklace before!!

Sorry for the jump scare, but here it is;

Now why on earth would you put Natalia in the very same necklace as Taylor Kelly unless it means something?!!! I wrote this in my 5x16 costume meta about that necklace and its meaning;

The chain she was wearing however - very interesting - well to me at least!! (you might have already read this part if you read my answer to an ask!!) So chains that look like actual chains (as this one does) are usually representative of bondage or incarceration - such as the chains of slavery or the chains worn by prisoners or the idea of chattel - the concept of possession - belonging to someone or something -such as historically when women became the property of men upon the event of their marriage (the ball and chain). non of the associations with chains are positive ones! There is also the location around her neck - its not worn loose or lower down it is literally like a chain collar around her neck - a noose like position.

Basically all of this adds up to Taylor signalling that she is essentially making her self a chattel - staking her claim on Buck through the concept of her being the woman in possession. The thing is though that idea is outdated - Taylor herself is outdated (as in to be history soon) and there are so many quotes about breaking free from chains that bind you and that love frees you from your chains. So if Taylor is putting herself into the idea of being a chain - a noose about Bucks neck - the symbolism becomes as much about Taylors attempts to chattel herself as it is about the concept of Buck freeing himself of the chains binding him and the idea that Love will free him from those chains. Now because this is film/tv - the director will use that chain symbolism to point out the love - the audience knows Taylor is in a relationship with Buck so they will subconsciously connect that chain to him. But where Buck is located - that is where the love is and the audiences eye will be draw to that location - in placing Buck with Eddie and not having him come over to the conversation and therefore standing next to Lucy in any way - it is all done to show where the love that will set Buck free is - and that is with Eddie!!

I stand by all I said in that meta - it is all still relevant. However, the fact they’ve chosen to have Natalia wear the necklace we saw Tay Kay in in 5x16 for that very key scene (when Buck was off flirting with Eddie in the background) is less about Natalia herself trying to stake a claim on Buck and much more about what she represents as a death doula. She is a representation of death and this necklace is playing into the idea of death having a claim over Buck - of Buck feeling like death has a claim over him. It continues to play into the theme of Orpheus and Eurydice's that we saw at play through Carla in 6x11. the concept of Buck still wanting to look back rather than forward and the act of looking back pulling you back to the underworld.

This is telling me that Buck is still drawn by death, that he is attracted to and and chateled or attached to death because he hasn’t yet dealt with any of his route trauma.

The fact that we see the necklace on Tay Kay at the moment she has to reckon with who she thinks is the wedge in her relationship with Buck, may also be telling because reusing it here potentially has a similar theme at play - there is a third person/thing in any relationship they attempt to create - death that Natalia may end up feeling the same way as Tay Kay - not saying she’s going to be petty and weird like TK was, it is more likely she will recognise the wedge is bucks relationship with death - and it will be a catalyst to Bucks healing making progressI standby.

there is another connection that @theladyyavilee 's eagle eyes spotted - the necklace is also the same as a bracelet that Ana is wearing when Eddie comes across her in Jinx

the meanings are similar to those I've already written about - with Ana the other more subtle connection is the reason Eddie bumps into her at all is because of Izzy Chainz - stuck up on his billboard.

The fact that we have Natalia connected to both Taylor and Ana in this way is in and of itself very telling - the connections to them is telling us that things with Natalia and Buck won't work out - as if we needed any further confirmation, the wardrobe department as always have our backs and just add their weight to all the other indicators. There is also the meaning behind Natalias name - birthday - specifically in connection with Christmas day and the birth of Christ - further tying into the theory that Natalia is going to help Buck move on from his death in some way and this will very likely also have some connection with the route of Bucks trauma - Daniel and the reaso he was born and allow him to get ever closer to finding happiness - it just won't be with her

Right that is quite enough going feral over the sneak peeks - hopefully it will tide you over until the episode airs and I can write my full normal meta!!!

#911 costume department i adore you #sneak peek metas #911 costume meta #kym costume meta #911 costumes #flower meanings #911 spoilers #911 on fox #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #maddie Buckley #chimney han #Natalia the death doula #911 fox

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laylawatermelon · 3 days

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Now that I'm thinking about it I wanna theorize/call for action outside of buddie (don't worry i WILL return with a vengeance) but now I'm on a bit of an Eddie Diaz kind of run.

I'm reading a fanfic now of Eddie's sisters which kind of spawned me to think about his relationship with them and kind of think about his family dynamics and expectations and what's coming up for his storyline.

Now they mentioned bringing his family in, specifically his sisters, and i think this storyline ties into Marisol (noname i swear this drives me crazy when i think about it?!??! PLEASE if you want me to care/be invested gimme a last name!) and his Catholic guilt/sense of responsibility/man of the house complex.

They've introduced how his upbringing brought him a lot of guilt and a sense of duty (to serve and protect amirite? Dang religion can be a perfect line to how modern society works but lemme save that for a thesis or something this is about 911 on abc🤣)

Back on topic though, there's a really nice post talking about how he's military family and how that affected his and Shannon's relationship. (x)

Reading that helped me to appreciate the writing and details.

I also want to talk about the beautiful work being done on Twitter and Tumblr about the Miami Vice costume theory and coincidences.

(heh throwback Tuesday and takeover thursday came in clutch with finding these x )

Yes i do ship buddie, but if I look at it not just as a romantic things but as they are written as kind of parallel soulmates who run along the same line of development.

One always spurs the next to grow and change and are heavily involved in some way even if that way it's just being themselves.

Buck being open with his sexuality will trigger something in Eddie. What it is can vary.

I think if we look at it with non shipper glasses, Buck's freedom will lead to Eddie's freedom. What I mean by that is since Eddie had came to the 118 Ryan mentioned how each year he was there the more he learned about himself and other people.

I think what Eddie would be at free from the image/expectations of what a family should look like/be.

He knows what a family could look like in a queer/unconventional way. Bathena's unit, Chimney and Maddie's family (let's say cause they're not currently married with a toddler church would pass out), and HenRen's family.

The could be and should be is the important part.

Eddie grew up being told what he should be and what his life should look like. Evidently his life went none of the ways it was intended to go.

He's a widower single father from a teen/young pregnancy and veteran. Sure he's a firefighter now but he has no "complete" family.

The way they're emphasizing the mother aspect throughout his story is still fascinating.

(i also thought of something hilarious as like he probably imagined/process mothers as like the Virgin Mary or something when they brought up how he can see woman as mothers but not really women at the same time)

(also Madonna whore complex was mentioned and it's also a fascinating way to look at it as he can either desire or love.)

Shannon seems to be the only exception and even that is iffy. I would also say that when she became a mother the desire kind of left? I think the mother aspect solidified for him when she left them I would say.

Yes they did have sex but that was a (very bad, horrid) form of communication between them. They both avoided stuff at some point in some (eh it's like 20/80 her and Eddie) cases.

Every other woman he has dated has kind of been a substitute, for a lack of a better word, replacement for the role of mom.

Now he knows what moms should look like in all shapes and forms. He knows what dads should look like. He's knows what his family should look like.

Granted he did get rid of some of the flaws of his father and the way he was raised which also ties into the way he is.

Eddie was parentified at an early age. (I will say as a black/poc person that there tends to be adult responsibilities placed on our communities kids from young partially because of culture but mostly because of the inherent unevenness that we have to struggle to make balance worldwide in different facets and environments.)

Once again, this is about 911 on abc, not my thesis😭.

I just imagine him standing on a stool to cook food for his sisters or some other things like laundry. Or even worse the cannon car accident with his pregnant mom. (I love to make myself cry)

Eddie had technically been a parent since he was a kid. He literally became the man of the house or the father. So i guess that entailed taking on the emotional and sometimes physical burden of the father role.

I guess when he was actually a father and not just the role he felt the weight of responsibility again and panicked. It makes sense he has a habit of running since he never had the opportunity to do so as a kid (since he never got the chance to be one).

So after Chris it was once again role of the father but now with added responsibility of bringing money to provide the household which he didn't have to do in that role.

It was hard then so it became even more difficult.

So he gave his body to the military and returned wounded in mind and body, and with a disabled son who needed insurance and stability and a wife who just needed him.

And he needed to be a man. Again and again and again.

He broke out of the loop when he got to the 118 (bless the haven that is that building) met Buck, then Carla and Bobby who offered a safe place for his kid.

He was no longer alone and had distanced himself physical from the church but mentally still shackled in his beliefs.

After this Buck and Tommy things and he's not present we're going to focus on how a family could look for him.

Last season and recently they mentioned the fact that his aunt had been divorced and he didn't know.

There was also mention of family secrets.

There was also Marisol and Chris together which I'm guessing he wasn't to happy with her but it's either or since we haven't seen them together so it's a 50/50 chance. More like 90/10 he's annoyed or feels weird about his mom being replaced). Since we touched on him repairing his relationship with his mom and subsequently girls and women/relationships he wants to be in now that may shift his image of Marisol suddenly being more present.

Slight Buddie tangent (i gotta let the beat out for a sec raaa-) but the fact that he's still hanging out with Buck pretty consistently (well we can say he's his other parent who's sadly been in his life almost longer than his mom 🥺 lemme stop I'm crying) but it might decrease due to his and Tommy's relationship. (They're two firefighters with very busy schedules ofc he's not present they got work to do chop chop!/j)

In turn this leaves Chris with one less stable parent figure and it's forced to turn to Marisol who may be overeager to please him.

This can lead Chris to probably feeling uncomfortable with the changes because he's happy his dad's happy but he's not happy because it feels like his family's changing again too fast, and what if she leaves then his dad's not happy and a whole other sleet of teenage issues and angst.

So what I predict their storyline to be going it's that Eddie tries to find his own freedom from the church and maybe even the expectations of his home community would have on him.

Buck will be radiant in himself at the wedding, so will Hen and Karen, and Marie and Chimney, and Bobby and Athena.

He'll look around and look inward.

He'll stop focusing on what his life should look like and focus on what it could.

And that life could be just as radiant as the family he's apart of now.

(and that's all i could ask for 🥹)

#911 abc #oh i have ADHD #it's evident in the way i type #eddie diaz #911 fox #lgbtqia #911 speculation #911 season 7 #this got out of hand #my writer skills kicked in #cry with me #evan buckley #911thursdaytakeover #911 meta #eddie diaz focused #buckley diaz family #the 118

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renecdote · 1 year

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my dearest rennnnnn, whaaat if you did a combination of soft prompts; 22. reunion hug and 37. ‘I missed you’ <333

Hi Amy ily please enjoy this little piece of clothes thief Eddie fic <3

[Read on AO3]

They argue about it on Sunday night, bitter and low so they don’t wake the kids.

“Why does it have to be you?” Eddie asks, and he knows it’s not fair, he knows, but he can’t help the words. Can’t help the way he wants to tug on the thread that ties them together, tug Buck right into his arms and hold him, hold him, hold him.

“Why shouldn’t it be me?” Buck throws back, and it doesn’t mean the same thing it used to—it has to be me so it isn’t anybody else—but something that is harder to argue with: why shouldn’t it be me, when it has to be someone? when everyone else will be taking the same risks? when you’d do the same thing, if you could? when we’ve both done it before?

Eddie wants to argue that it’s different now. That they’re married now. That they have kids now. But it’s not like they’re the only ones. It’s not like Hen wasn’t married with a kid when she went to Texas with them. Not like Eddie didn’t have Chris to think about then as well. Not like any number of other firefighters aren’t in exactly the same situation, a lot of them without even the luxury of choice about being out there in the thick of it.

“I don’t want you to go,” is all he has to say. It’s not enough, not a reason, but if he could tear open his chest and rip out his beating heart to give Buck a reason to stay, he would.

The fight drains out of Buck’s shoulders first, slumping, then the rest of him. He closes the distance between them and pulls Eddie into a hug, holding tight.

“I know,” he murmurs against Eddie’s hair. “I’m sorry.”

But he doesn’t say he’ll stay.

Eddie doesn’t ask him to again.

****

The temperature in LA sits above ninety for a week straight. Most days, it pushes past ninety-five, the nights barely cooling down before the sun rises again and the heat rises with it. It’s far too hot for wearing layers or long-sleeves, but four days after Buck leaves to fight wildfires in Northern California, Eddie finds himself turning the A/C down a few degrees so the house is cold enough to justify pulling one of his husband’s hoodies out of the closet and putting it on, even if it’s only for a few hours.

“You’re moping, dad,” Christopher informs him at the dinner table, halfway to an eye roll. Only halfway, despite being well into his teenage years, because Eddie knows that he’s missing Buck as well. That he’s worried about Buck as well.

“I’m not moping,” Eddie tells him, even though they both know he kind of is. “Eat your broccoli.”

Christopher does roll his eyes that time, but he also eats the broccoli, so. A win for parenting. Eddie isn’t above counting even the smallest of victories there.

Isaac isn’t old enough yet to really understand where his dad has gone, or what he’s doing. He sits in front of the TV and talks to the news anchors as easily as he does to his cartoons, but it’s all just moving pictures. To his three year old mind, the wildfires are just on the TV. Eddie is torn between sheltering his kid and bracing for the possibility that the next time his phone rings, it will be someone telling him that he needs to explain to his sons why one of their dads is never coming home again.

“Buck will be fine,” Maddie Buckley tells him, sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee while Jee-Yun entertains her younger cousin with a puzzle in the living room.

Eddie wants to believe her. He wants to believe everyone who has said some variation of those words to him since the call for volunteers went out and Buck’s hand went up, but—

“How do you know?”

There’s something in the way Maddie smiles that makes her look like Buck. Somehow, even after a decade of knowing her, it surprises Eddie every time he sees it.

“He has to be fine,” she answers simply. “He knows he has to be.”

He knows he has to come home, she means. And Eddie already knew that, he did, but—it helps, hearing the conviction in someone else’s voice as well, even if they are both lying to themselves about how much control anyone, even someone as stubborn as Buck, can have over a wildfire. He hugs Maddie extra tight at the door before she leaves, and she doesn’t ask why, just hugs him back just as tight, both of them holding, holding, holding.

It’s too hot for layers or long sleeves, but Eddie sleeps in one of his husband’s t-shirts every night, closing his eyes and hugging Buck’s pillow to his chest, and lying to himself about how much it helps.

****

The heatwave has finally broken when Buck calls, ten days after leaving, and the first thing he says is, “I think I’ll be home soon.”

It’s another three days, though, before it actually happens. Eddie is stuck at work, driving everyone crazy with the anticipation crawling under his skin as he watches the clock tick down the last twelve hours of their shift. There’s a text on his phone from Carla: a photo of Buck kneeling on the floor, bag at his feet like he just came through the door, one arm around Chris and the other around Isaac. And another text from Buck, timestamped a few minutes later: I love you, I’ll see you when you get home.

“Go,” Bobby says, when the clock hits seven-thirty the next morning.

Eddie hesitates. “We still have half an hour—”

“Go,” the captain repeats. “Give Buck a hug from all of us too. Tell him you’re all coming to dinner at our place tomorrow night.”

Eddie stays just long enough to hug Bobby, quick and hard, and he doesn’t even bother changing before he grabs his bag and leaves the station.

****

The house is quiet when he lets himself in. Eddie toes his shoes off and drops his work bag in the laundry, then eases open bedroom doors to check on first Chris, then Isaac, both sleeping peacefully. He closes the doors as gently as he opened them, socked feet silent on the floorboards as he moves towards the master bedroom. Anticipation makes his fingers tingle as he reaches for the doorknob, a tiny part of him sure that he’s going to open it and find nothing but an empty bed. There’s the photo from Carla, and the text from Buck, and the phone call before his flight home, the text when he landed in LA—but that tiny part of Eddie’s brain can’t quite believe it until he pushes open the door and finds his husband sleeping on the other side.

He’s smiling wide enough to make his cheeks ache before he has even stepped into the room. Jeans and shirt are stripped quickly, and he should really shower since he didn’t do it at the station, but Eddie can’t think of anything except slipping under the covers on his side of the bed and getting his hands on Buck, whole and warm and alive.

“Hi,” he whispers, when Buck stirs under his touch, mumbling sleepily. “I missed you.”

Buck is smiling back at him before his eyes are fully open, blinking past the bleariness of sleep to bring Eddie into focus.

“Hi,” he echoes, fuzzy around the edges. “I missed you too.”

Eddie runs a hand up his side, half a welfare check, and pushes back his hair, cupping the back of Buck’s head as he leans in to kiss him. It’s not meant to be anything more than a gentle greeting, but Buck makes a sound in the back of his throat, aching and desperate, and pulls Eddie back in when he starts lean away.

They don’t surface for a long time.

Long enough that there is movement somewhere in the house—probably Chris, half-awake and hungry—and Eddie rolls quickly out of bed to lock the door before any children come looking for them, while Buck laughs at him from the bed.

“I haven’t seen you in two weeks, Eds,” he says, grinning, “locking the door should have been the first thing you did.”

Eddie finds a pair of boxers on the floor and throws them at him, but there’s a giddy kind of laughter bubbling in his chest as well; one part adrenaline from the race to the door, most parts joy at having Buck back and laughing in their bed.

“I was a little distracted,” he reminds Buck. “I haven’t seen my husband in two weeks, remember?”

He crawls back onto the bed and Buck pulls him in, stitching them together at every point, holding just for the sake of holding. Eddie kisses him again, because he can, on the lips and the tip of his nose and the pink smudge over his eyebrow.

“I love you,” he says quietly, so close Buck will be able to feel the words against this skin. He wants to say please don’t leave me to fight wildfires again but he doesn’t. Can’t. If it’s something Buck feels like he needs to do again, Eddie can’t be the person who stands in his way.

Buck smiles, fingers tracing the lines of Eddie’s face; the dark smudges under his eyes, the dimple in his cheek, the scar barely visible at the edge of his hairline.

“I love you too,” he replies, just as soft, and Eddie feels the warmth of the words against his skin.

There’s a distant clatter, the sound of pots or pans in the kitchen, and they both wait, listening, but there is no call for help. There is more clattering, but it’s the controlled kind, an everyday cooking kind of noise, and Eddie guesses Chris is going to rope them into making pancakes any minute with a cajoling, see dad, I already got out everything we need.

They’ve got a minute before that happens though. Maybe two, or three, or four. Eddie closes his eyes, breathing in the scent of Buck’s shampoo and something else he must be imagining, something smokey and faintly sweet like young wood. It can’t be real, he knows Buck will have washed his hair at least three times before he even got to the airport, the same way he does after a house fire, scrubbing every inch of skin until the smell of fire is gone. He wouldn’t have hugged the kids until he was sure he didn’t smell like wildfire anymore, but Eddie still imagines he can smell it.

Those words are still sitting on the tip of his tongue—please don’t leave me again—but he swallows them back.

“We should get up,” Buck says, but he doesn’t move.

Eddie hums, half agreement, and holds him closer. “In a minute.” Or two, or three, or four. “We’ve got time.”

Buck’s arm is warm over his waist, his chest rising and falling slowly, his heart beating steady against Eddie’s. So much better than a pillow, or a sleep shirt, or a hoodie. Eddie takes a deep breath, breathing it all in, and for the first time in two weeks he holds, and holds, and holds.

Wrapped around him, the thread between them so tangled that Eddie can’t be sure where it begins and ends, Buck takes his own deep breath, breathing it all in, and hugs back just as tight.

#Eddie Diaz #Evan Buckley #911 Fox #fic #clothes thief eddie my beloved<3

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andavs · 1 year

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Genuine Beer in 9-1-1

There’s been a lot of talk about the Genuine beer that Buck and Eddie keep drinking, so I thought I’d make a post about it! But if we're talking about Genuine beer, I think it's only fair that we look at all of the other beer they use in the show too.

Just a quick note before we start: I don't think their prop department makes any of these. There are vendors that specialize in making props like this, and at least five of these come from the same company.

9-1-1 has a lot of commonly recurring brands of prop beer. They tend to use multiple brands at a time for variety, peaking at six used throughout 3b. There's also a bunch of one-offs they've only used once or twice that I didn't bother including here, and there's some that they've only used in the backgrounds, but I couldn't really read the labels.

They didn't really use prop beer bottles until Hen Begins (2.09), halfway through season 2. Most of the characters are shown drinking wine until Buck, Actually (2.08), and aside from one scene at the end of 1.10, those who do drink beer use a glass.

So without further ado: the beers of 9-1-1.

Blind Fox Ale is used mostly in seasons 2 and 3. As of 6.15, it's tied with Genuine for most uses, with main characters drinking it nine times. It's shown on screen even more in the background, and pops up in 5a when Michael's drinking one.

Alexander’s Famous Ale was used in a two episodes during season 2: Chim drinks it twice in Chimney Begins (2.12) and Athena and Hen drink it in Ocean's 9-1-1 (2.15). Red was drinking it at the bar in The One that Got Away (3.16). It's frequently used in the background by extras.

Grand Ale first popped up in Kids Today (3.01) and stayed through season 3. Chim drank it twice, Michael had it at a Grant-Nash family dinner, and Buck also drank it in Fools (3.12).

Cerveza Extra was used mostly in season three. Chimney was drinking one at the party for Buck in Kids Today (3.01), Buck had one sitting in front of him at the end of The Searchers (3.03), Chimney was making his way through several in Seize the Day (3.11) and Buck has one in front of him during the party at Eddie's later that episode. Buck also served it to Connor in Peru in Buck Begins (4.05).

Mendoza Lager was added in season 5 and these are the three times we've seen it: Buck drinks it in Outside Looking In (5.11) while the team is at the bar, he drinks it again on the balcony with Maddie in Starting Over (5.18), and in Tomorrow (6.06), Hen was drinking it when she first met Karen.

Rio Negro has been used a few times, and so far, Eddie’s the only main character who drinks it. Lena had one with him at the junkyard fight in Rage (3.05), he had one or two at the bar in Seize the Day (3.11) (and extras were also holding it during the party at his house later that episode), and he also drank it in Texas with his family in Hero Complex (5.17). As far as I can tell, this is the only beer that's this character-specific.

Tux’s Red Ribbon was used once in season 1 at the very end of A Whole New You (1.10), when Chim was hosting a party. I didn't notice it again until In Another Life (6.11), where it was the only brand of beer anyone drank in Buck's coma dream. I'm wondering if they used it in the coma dream because they don't normally use it, to subtly emphasize that things are wrong, or if we're going to see it again sometime soon.

Which brings me to Genuine.

The first time I found Genuine being used is back in Hen Begins (2.09). It’s in the scene where she goes out with Athena, Bethanne (the female cop), and Casey (the gay firefighter). She’s the only one at their table drinking Genuine, though Casey also has a beer in a pint glass. That extra behind her looks like they might have it too.

Note: this isn't the only brand to be used once earlier and then resurrected later; Tux's was used once in season one, and then again in season 6.

After that the show used other brands and I didn’t see it again until Fear-a-Phobia (5.13) when Chim and Hen drink it during their reunion.

Buck and Eddie drink it in Let the Games Begin (6.01).

The guy who blew up his cheating neighbor in Crash & Learn (6.02) was drinking Genuine.

Buck gave one to Connor in Recovery (6.12). It wasn’t in his fridge a few scenes before when Maddie was stocking it for him (meaningful or continuity error?).

Eddie had it in his fridge later in Recovery and grabbed two for him and Buck, but drank both himself when Buck fell asleep.

Buck and Eddie were both drinking one while helping Chris with homework in Mixed Feelings (6.13).

And Eddie had it again at the poker game. (Many of the extras around them were also drinking Genuine.)

Eddie also had it in his fridge while on the phone with his mom in 6.15, and it's still there when he calls her again at the end.

It's shown in Maddie and Chimney's fridge at the end of 6.16.

All that kind of makes it seem like we're seeing it a lot more often lately, like maybe it's a sign of something building. Of the three beer brands we've seen the main characters drink in season 6, Genuine shows up the most by a wide margin. Mendoza Lager has only been in one scene, and Tux's in two (both in the coma dream).

So is it a sign of something being genuine? Uncovering something genuine? Their prop beer budget got cut and they can only afford one brand? Just the latest favorite in their rotation of prop beers and it doesn't mean anything at all? You be the judge!

(It seems like they try to cycle through brands for the core seven characters to drink every season or two. The ones that were most prevalent in seasons 2 and 3 still occasionally pop up in the background in later seasons, especially in bar scenes, or for characters like Michael and Red. And once you notice them, then you too might find yourself pointing excitedly when you spot a rogue Alexander's Famous Ale on a passing server's tray for the first time in two seasons.)

Bonus unrelated discovery from my search: Back in Hen Begins, Hen had the frog sponge holder first.

#911 #911 fox #911 meta

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littlespoonevan · 2 years

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On Buck, ‘Buck, Actually’ and the path to true love (aka the romcom trajectory)

Disclaimer: I realise before I even start this that probably no one is as interested in this as I am but I have Thoughts and I need to put them somewhere 😘

In all of my rewatches of 911 over the past year, I’ve always gotten a little fixated when it comes to 2x08 “Buck, Actually”. Now, I love a romcom - always have - so it’s not a shock that I love an episode that specifically caters to all of these romantic tropes. But what I also love is Buck’s character arc across the seasons and I think there’s something very significant about the notion that “Buck, Actually” almost acts as a thesis statement for Buck’s overall story.

Buck’s storyline pre-2x08 is inextricably tied to Abby. He’s certainly a main character in his own right in season 1 but if we’re to contextualize 911 within the structure of a typical romcom Buck is Abby’s romantic lead. He’s the handsome, cool guy that could get any girl he wants. And she’s the one who - perhaps unexpectedly - catches his attention, she’s the one who makes him want to stop sleeping around and teaches him what it means to fall in love. As viewers we’re sort of predisposed to see Buck through Abby’s eyes a lot during season 1 simply because she’s the eyes through which we’re introduced to the show. (Though this obviously changes as time goes on since they get equal amounts of screen time)

Season 1 is Abby’s story and Buck happens to be a part of it but the really interesting thing about her leaving is that that focus, that empathy and sympathy viewers had for Abby, then shifts to Buck. Because her pov has ended and Buck’s has only opened up even more and any sympathy a viewer may have had for Abby becomes hard to hold onto when you can see Buck clinging to their relationship and getting nothing in return.

Thus, season 1 transforms from Abby’s storyline to Buck’s prologue in a way. 2x01 gives him his sister and his new best friend and now his story can finally begin. By the time we reach 2x08 Buck has let Abby go, is more settled in his relationships and is ready to re-enter the dating world. We know enough about him at this point to know meaningless sex is no longer fulfilling for him and that, actually, romance and love and intimacy are things he genuinely wants from a partner.

I’ve made posts about it before but I think, especially with the hindsight of the past 2-3 seasons, it’s abundantly clear that Buck’s identity is inextricably linked to his desire for love. So I feel like there’s something so genius about the idea of “Buck, Actually” being the true beginning of Buck’s storyline and that this ep that’s almost solely dedicated to him sort of acts like a mini romcom.

We see him sleep with Taylor and try to forge a connection that falls flat because they’re not looking for the same things - thereby fulfilling the ‘unlucky in love’ trope of a romcom. Maddie and Chim act as the all knowing best friends with the sage advice about what Buck is actually looking for and we then see him reach out to Ali. The episode ends with the sort of hopeful fade to black any good romcom ends with but the thing is?

It’s a fakeout.

The real romance of “Buck, Actually” the one that’s actually an ‘everlasting love’? That’s Maddie and Chimney. Maddie and Chimney, who go to karaoke together and know each other’s drink and takeout orders and who have their own Friday night ritual. Maddie and Chimney who, as Buck so helpfully points out, are acting like a couple without being a couple. They know each other and they make each other laugh and they’re in sync in a way they’re not with anyone else.

So for the rest of season 2 Buck and Ali stay surface level while Maddie and Chimney fall deeply in love. Now, Ali was an important step forward for Buck. She was a way for him to move on from Abby and remind him that he could still find love even though she was gone. But she wasn’t his one true love. Not even close.

The following seasons all contain necessary steps to Buck’s growth even if they’re not completely romance-focused. Season 3 is important because Buck is single for the entirety of it. He learns how to be on his own while simultaneously beginning to build the foundations of a family with Eddie and Christopher. We see how deep-rooted his abandonment issues run with 3x16 and his storyline with Red and we see him glean some sort of closure from his reunion with Abby.

Season 4 is significant obviously because of his parents and the revelation regarding Daniel. This is a crucial storyline to allow us to understand who Buck is as a person. We see the root of everything and all of the threads of Buck’s storyline so far slot into place with almost devastating clarity. But the thing is, we’re not the only ones who see Buck at the end of all of this. Eddie does too. Eddie, who already knows and reads Buck so well, gains a new level of understanding. And in that, gains a new level of significance in the role he plays in Buck’s life.

The Taylor-Eddie contrast at the end of season 4 is stark. The moment where Buck runs to Eddie instead of chasing after Taylor still makes my brain go a little fuzzy every time I think about it for too long. Because even though Buck has seemingly once again gotten his happy ending, it’s wrong. And you know it is. It feels completely out of place amidst the emotional turmoil Buck is dealing with throughout the ep. And that point is driven home even more with “You’re not invincible” vs “You act like you’re expendable but you’re wrong.”

Season 5 then shows us that it’s not enough for Buck for him to simply receive love. That this thing he’s been chasing for so long cannot be fulfilled by someone just wanting him back. What sort of started me on this whole journey of thinking more deeply about 2x08 is actually Buck’s speech in 5x18 to Maddie about love. Because once again he’s using a romcom as a blueprint but this time he’s arguing against it. Instead, he’s taking everything he’s learned over the past few years to build a new definition of love. To say, “Shouldn’t it be- when you’re at your worst, [when] they’re at their worst, you have every reason to give up and you still decide you want to try again?”

Buck in 2x08 wants love in the general sense. He had it and he lost it and he wants it back. He wants the closeness and the affection and, indeed, the romance of it all. But Buck in 5x18 wants a specific kind of love. A love that he now knows how to define. He still wants to be chosen, of course, but in a way that he gets to choose too. And the fact that this conversation happens with Maddie whose relationship acts as a counterpoint to his own all the way back in 2x08 almost makes it more significant because they’re both right back where they started.

Hell, we even get a sense at the end of 5x18 that Maddie and Chimney’s journey is starting over with them bonding once again over takeout in that final scene. And Buck is also, once again, newly single but this time it’s by choice and this time he knows what kind of love he wants and he seems willing to wait for that.

It’s what makes me think that the love Buck finds next will be his last and will be right. Obviously, I want it to be Eddie and I think the show has laid the perfect foundation for it to be him. (Buck’s definition of love references him and Eddie more concretely than anything the show has done previously, in my opinion, especially when coupled with Ravi’s definition about having your partner’s back.) But either way, I think Buck is finally, finally at the point where he’s ready to find the love he’s been waiting for. And I think if they do it right, it might just be the most satisfying happily ever after of all time 🥰

#evan buckley #buddie #911 related #mine #if you're thinking 'hey ciara didn't you have something more important to do on your sunday evening?'#the answer is nOTHING matters to me more than buck actually sadkfjh

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dreamer-of-ships · 1 year

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Buckle up because this is a long one. But I promise I have a good feeling!

If you think about it… Eddie and Chris’s arcs this season could be beautifully tied up with Buck’s by the finale. Like I feel decisions are being made…

Hear me out.

Chris is growing up. That’s essentially the crux of the Diaz arc this season, and we’ve seen Eddie struggle to come to terms with that, whilst also enjoying all the milestones along the way.

Buck is battling his own desires of becoming a father. It’s something he’s always wanted, and suddenly an opportunity arose for him to essentially be one, even if he hasn’t fully comprehended what only being the donor means. But he’s been sucked into this Kameron and Connor situation because he likes to fix things and help people - no matter the cost to his own safety or mental well being.

Which is what 6x11 was all about. It was him realising that’s what he does. He uses situations where he can fix things as a way to prove his worth in the world.

As he started navigating his way through the coma dream he kept trying to figure out what he needed to fix in order to get back to real life. Like some afterlife business stuff, when, in reality, he just had to find his way back to himself. He had to be selfish and fix himself.

Fix you by Coldplay playing over the montage of him trying to get back to his body? Not a coincidence. Every person that got in his way as he tried to get back to his reality was offering up a situation that in real life Buck would try his damn hardest to fix. But in this instance, stopping to help that person, be it Chim with separating Doug and Maddie, Chris with finding Eddie, or Daniel with… wanting to exist, it would mean that he, Buck, would be the one to die. Fixing things would be the ultimate detriment to him making it back to his own reality.

Now how does this tie back in with Eddie and Chris? Because what if now, after this realisation, it makes him realise that he got sidetracked from spending time with his real family whilst he was working too damn hard to fix somebody else’s life? Notice, with everything going on in Buck’s life this season, he’s been noticeably distant from the Diaz family lately. Other than the Buckley-Diaz family dinner at the start of the season (which I’ll come back to shortly) there haven’t been many scenes with them together compared to previous seasons.

(I honestly do not think a showrunner would be so petty to purposely distance these characters out of spite to Buddie shippers. There must be an underlying reason as to why they’ve been so distant this season.)

Buck wasn’t there when Chris was lying about skipping science club, and when Eddie asked if Chris had spoken to him about it he was visibly distracted. Then he wasn’t there when Chris was trying on a suit for his first school dance. He briefly discussed Chris’s first crush with Eddie, but it was amongst the rest of the 118 and he still missed the milestone.

He keeps missing the milestones.

Chris is growing up, but Buck has been too distracted with the donor arc to notice.

Maybe this is another reason why Eddie was missing from Buck’s coma dream as well, because it was his subconscious telling him that something’s missing. Eddie isn’t as much of a presence in his life as he usually is, and his mind noticeably picked up on the absence, as well as how he fits into the Diaz dynamic. I.e Chris being taken away from Eddie because, ultimately, he never met Buck.

Maybe when Chris was asking Buck to help him find his Dad...he wasn’t referring to Eddie.

Now, moving forward, I honestly thing we’ll start to get more scenes with them together again. I have a feeling Eddie will be there to help him through his PTSD, and rightfully, so will Chris in one way or another. He isn’t going to miss anymore milestones.

I have no idea how the donor arc will play out. I’m making a guess in that Connor will find out that he’s actually the biological father, and not Buck. Then when everybody expects to see Buck spiral he just… doesn’t. Because he has Chris. And he’s done trying to fix everybody else’s problems, and is now focused on just fixing himself.

There’s a reason they opened the season with the three of them having dinner together. There was a reason they had the Diaz family, specifically, bring up the couch metaphor.

Like their arcs coming together wouldn’t necessarily tie into Buddie, but 100% ties into their relationship, whether it be platonic or romantic. The crucial element is the relationship between Buck and Chris.

I’ll say it again…

Choices are being made.

#buddie #911 on fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buck and christopher #buck and eddie #I don’t know if the writers are ready to press go on buddie yet but this could be one step closer.#my meta #9 1 1 6x11

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trashendence · 2 years

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The Couch Discourse Masterpost (that no one asked for)

Season 6 has started and, as is now abundantly clear, Buck doesn't have a couch. Nothing too out of the ordinary; an insignificant detail if compared to the big, flashing events of most episodes...right? Well, it now has its own Masterpost so maybe not quite.

Inspired by this collective post (featuring yours truly, @yramesoruniverse, @extasiswings and @stagefoureddiediaz), here's a slightly more ordered ensemble of observations on the symbolisms hiding behind the couch.

Enjoy the madness!

🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋🛋

Abby's couch

(Episode 1x10 - "A Whole New You")

Abby is Buck’s first true love, the first home Buck has known after all those years spent drifting, and arguably the very first person who’s chosen him. She’s not the first to leave, though, and it’s on her couch, in the apartment Buck now calls home, that she tells him she’s going to Dublin. For Abby, her place - and LA - is a constant reminder of what she’s lost, while Buck can only cling onto this new sense of belonging and promise he’ll wait for her. For as long as it takes.

(Episode 2x01 - "Under Pressure")

At the beginning of season 2, Buck still lives at Abby's. And still waits. He’s so sure she’ll come back that when he sees someone is home, he doesn’t hesitate and rushes inside, but finds Maddie instead. At this point, he’s still hopeful and so attached to what once was that the only shift he embraces in his life is the return of his sister - someone who also belongs to his past -, nothing and no one else gets the benefit of Buck’s enthusiasm. He cooks for Maddie, offers her a safe space, and nurtures the sense of family she brought back to him - the pure love they have for each other -. And to Maddie, on Abby’s couch, he opens up about what the point really is:

“I like the me that I am with her.”

(Episode 2x04 - “Stuck”)

Buck and Maddie are once again in Abby’s apartment. Maddie is circling the couch - trying to find the right way to ask buck when it is, exactly, that he’ll let go. She ends up asking if the new ‘boy crush’ her brother has on Eddie means that he’s finally over Abby. But Buck, who’s already sitting on the couch, is not over anything.

Buck has nothing against fresh starts, so he is excited for his sister when she tells him she’s found a place for herself. She’s building a new life right there, by his side, and Buck’s brain keeps telling him that it makes sense for Maddie to look for a new place to live, she’s still searching for what she wants - it’s normal. Buck, on the other hand, has found it already; it’d be pointless for him to look anywhere else and get lost again in the process. People will know where to find him if he just…stays put.

In the same episode, Buck asks Eddie to come over and introduces him to Carla, actually making pro-active use of his ties with the past to help a friend. Then, together, he and Eddie help Maddie move. And even if it looks physically impossible, they somehow make her brand new couch fit through the door.

(@stagefoureddiediaz made a very smart post about this scene in particular)

Buck’s very first couch

After painfully letting go of Abby, Buck couch-surfs for a bit, learns that true love is something you make and decides to get a place for himself. He goes for the loft: it’s beautiful and Ali really likes it. It makes sense.

(Episode 2x18 - “This Life We Choose”)

While he’s trying to recover from getting most of his bones and all of his career aspirations shattered, Buck sits (on his new couch) through Ali breaking up with him. What he tried to build - to make - does not work out in the end, but there’s a new level of awareness that comes with the end of this relationship: he’s a firefighter despite everything. He’s not going to leave the station, he’ll go back and fight for it. For now, though, fighting to keep what he wants means not leaving the loft, nor the couch. Buck clings onto what he has left because it’s solid and it’s the material representation of the home he so badly craves, even if it’s not home at all. At least it’s a first step, right?

(Episode 3x03 - “The Searchers”)

-This entire bit comes from @fiona-fififi’s incredible tags.-

Despite the couch being where Chris chose to sit the morning of the tsunami, when Buck is trusted with Eddie’s heart for the second time, he and Chris choose to sit on the coffee table instead. If before Chris was on the couch, tucked away right under the stairs - a kind of future Buck couldn’t see -, after the tsunami they sit together in plain sight (Seen and Found). It’s a reinforcement of Eddie’s trust and Chris’ infinite love and admiration, and it’s born from what Buck lives as an unforgivable failure.

What was supposed to work - the couch he and Ali bought together, the couch he’s been stuck on for months after the injury -, didn’t, but Buck is now stepping into a whole new role and he’s doing it on new premises; the trust and unconditional love given to him.

(Episode 3x09 - “Fallout”)

Chris and Eddie are at Buck’s again, The Kitchen Scene takes place, and the three of them end up playing video-games on Buck’s couch. It’s ‘Eddie’s kind of therapy’ and probably Buck’s too, reconciling the reminder of all his failed attempts with a brand new beginning. The pain it took to have and keep a couch completely vanishes when it comes to the effortless affection running through all of them. It’s a second chance at building a home.

(Episode 4x08 - “Breaking Point”)

The couch hasn’t featured in any meaningful scenes for a while. Not through Buck dealing with Red’s death, nor in the revelation that he once had a brother. He’s been dealing with past trauma and fears, none of which related to this new home he wants to build - hence, none related to the couch.

The symbolism comes back in full force when Buck finds out Albert and Veronica - someone who represents Buck’s attempts at moving forward in life - are dating. It makes him fall even more into the undercurrent spiral of ‘there is no loyalty or love for me’, and leads to “your life is nothing but meaningful relationships”/“I don’t know, doesn’t seem the same”. Buck has started therapy and is trying to fix things with his parents, he’s bettering himself, and he is ready. So why is it not working out for him?

When he later finds Albert and Veronica on his couch, he reaches out to Taylor for a double date, during which they all sit on a couch for a long, uncomfortable moment before Taylor decides to leave.

In the same episode, Chris finds out about his dad’s new relationship, and runs to the loft. He sits on Buck’s couch while Buck promises that he’ll be there for him no matter what. That he’s not going anywhere and Chris will always have a place right there, in Buck’s home.

Eddie’s couch

There have been glimpses of Eddie’s couch throughout the seasons. The first scene with Shannon features his couch, as does one of his dates with Ana - whose couch we also see during the Math Date in “Breaking Point” -. Buck himself has been on the couch multiple times but always only with Chris, playing video-games or hanging out during the party that gave us, “Uh, this is Eddie’s house, I’m not really a guest”. He and Eddie are never on it at the same time.

(Episode 4x13 - “Suspicion”)

With “Suspicion” a lot of things in Buck and Eddie’s lives change. Eddie’s couch is suddenly very present and becomes a recurrent element in the story.

At the beginning of the episode, we see Eddie fret over his couch, moving the cushions around so that they’re perfect for Carla’s arrival. When she finally knocks and the Diaz boys run to greet her, Ana waits where she is, on the other side of the couch and away from their joyful love.

Despite Eddie’s best efforts, Carla immediately sees through him and asks Eddie follows his heart when it comes to choices that affect him, not Christopher’s. The couch, almost invisible in the dark, looms over her shoulders.

(Episode 4x14 - “Survivors”)

Eddie’s been shot, he’s fighting for his life on a hospital bed, and Buck takes over the care of Chris. While at the Diaz House, Buck chooses to sleep on Eddie’s couch, barely able to look at Eddie’s bedroom, much less sleep in his bed. It’s when he’s on the couch that Chris wakes him up from a troubled sleep and gets him to start his day (not before Buck’s checked his phone for updates on Eddie’s conditions).

When Eddie finally comes back home, there is a little welcome back party waiting for him. Even Taylor is there, and @stagefoureddiediaz noticed the couch keeps appearing in the background, reminding us of Buck’s fitful sleep and everything that has happened since the last time we saw it in “Suspicion”.

(Episode 5x09 - “Past Is Prologue”)

An honorable mention goes to Buck’s couch in this episode because it’s there that Buck comforts Taylor after their trip to Oklahoma. In this scene of “Past Is Prologue”, we get Taylor’s “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you […] I tell other people’s stories for a living because I hate telling my own,” which is both a callback to “Dosed” and foreshadowing of what’s to come.

(Episode 5x10 - “Wrapped In Red”)

Eddie’s couch is central throughout the episode, going from the initial scenes of Chris and Eddie decorating their house for Christmas, to Chris snapping and revealing that he wants everything to be perfect because he fears Eddie could die at any time. It all happens on the couch, the fragile equilibrium breaks and Eddie has to face his kid’s trauma, as well as his own (or some of it, at least). He talks to Carla about he and Buck being taken hostage and the deep guilt he feels for continuing to be a firefighter when his son is so clearly terrified by the idea of him dying.

Once again, Eddie is doing what he feels is right for Chris and doesn’t stop to think about what would be right for himself, too. He protects his home - his heart - by leaving part of it behind.

Taylor’s Buck’s second couch

(Episode 5x13 - “Fear-o-Phobia”)

Taylor’s moving in with Buck. The premises are quite possibly the worst; guilt and avoidance on Buck’s part, inability to see beyond the surface on Taylor’s.

As noted by @yramesoruniverse, Taylor's couch (which is meant to replace the one Buck bought with his ex) is the exact same color and fabric as Eddie's - dark blue velvet - but not quite the same. Hers is too fancy and impractical, uncomfortable to sit on, let alone sleep. Coincidentally, both Taylor and Eddie’s couches recall the colors of LAFD uniforms and, while the movers carry her new couch into Buck’s loft like a dead body, we are reminded of the shooting all over again. Meanwhile, Buck - who is helpless in front of the sudden changes in his life - still desperately reaches for a sense of home and just stands there in a white shirt with dark stripes.

In the same episode, Buck is forced to relive the deep fear of that day when Chris calls him because something is wrong with Eddie. For a split moment, Buck freezes in Eddie’s bedroom - the same room he’s been avoiding for a while now - and thinks that his best friend might really be dead.

Just before that happens, though, Buck and Taylor make up on her couch. “Do you think I trapped you?”/“Am I wrong?” and Buck, while honestly admitting he doesn’t know why he asked her to move in with him, clings some more onto their relationship. He wants it to work. He needs it to work.

“So no more lies.”

(Episode 5x14 - “Dumb Luck”)

After quite some time without seeing it, Eddie’s couch makes an appearance. And it’s a Significant one.

@stagefoureddiediaz pointed out that the last time we saw it, it was at the very end of season 4, when Buck slept - horribly - on it. His real-life nightmare is paralleled with Eddie’s actual nightmares. In his dream-turned-horror Eddie is even wearing the same shade of pale blue Buck had on back then - which Kym tells us means ‘trustworthiness, responsibility and reliability’ - because he always wants to be a safe harbor for Chris, no matter what.

When Eddie wakes on his dark blue couch - the color of ‘externalized depression and sadness’ -, Buck is driving Chris to school. He is helping Eddie just like he did after the shooting by being the reliable figure they both need.

Since it was apparently not enough, @yramesoruniverse pointed out that Eddie’s couch hovers in the background when Buck tells Eddie he’s misunderstood the assignment.

Buck gives his figurative heart to Eddie, admits he’s misunderstood a basic notion so drastically that it’s kind of ridiculous, and listens to Eddie wonder what the point really is anyway - if there is one. All of it with Eddie’s couch in his line of sight.

(Episode 5x17 - “Hero Complex”)

Buck’s couch is definitely gone when Hen and Chimney stop by the loft to ask Taylor about the footage from the dispatch fire. As @stagefoureddiediaz said, Taylor sits on her couch without Buck. Instead, she’s between two members of Buck’s found family who don’t trust her in the slightest, and swears everything they say is ‘off the record’. Where she said “no more lies” she’s now starting a lie that will bring to the inevitable end of her relationship with Buck.

(Episode 6x01 - “Let The Games Begin”)

Buck has been single for four months now, but as Chris notices:

(x)

They are having dinner at the loft, a home-cooked lasagna Buck has attempted three times before he was satisfied enough to serve it to Chris and Eddie. The atmosphere is warm, relaxed, but Bobby’s decision not to consider him for the position of interim captain seems to bug Buck. To his “I just want to know what these other candidates have that apparently I don’t”, Christopher answers that Buck doesn’t even have a couch, getting to the core of the problem.

It’s clear by now that the couch is a symbol of Buck’s search for home and for a lasting romantic love, which are one and the same. In @yramesoruniverse’s words, ‘it’s the way he projects onto the material, the trappings, what it looks like to "make" a life with someone. All the stuff he uses to cope and obscure what's right in front of him’. And that it is Christopher of all people to point it out is the first nudge toward an important realization; he doesn’t need a new couch to have a home. He doesn’t need to follow a series of pre-set steps leading to love and stability, the couch can’t bring him to anything on its own. It’s just a piece of furniture, after all.

Buck then talks to Bobby, and the temporary promotion is the farthest thing from his mind. He opens up to Bobby about the couch instead, says he’s afraid of making a mistake again and choosing the wrong one. What Bobby suggests is that he takes inventory of his life, sees where he’s at and waits to feel at ease with himself before moving in any direction. So Buck starts doing just that.

Before we’re shown Buck looking around his loft and moving his armchair in the empty spot left behind by Taylor’s couch, though, we get a glimpse of Eddie and Chris playing at their house, their couch right there in the background. The concepts of fate and time tied together with those of home and love, a connection Buck can’t see yet because he’s still too full of fear for the future. He’s giving up having a couch for now but he doesn’t feel at ease, he’s not free from what the couch represents for him and is probably simply wondering what his life will be like if he never finds the right one.

Maybe he’ll find out life is pretty great even without a couch, or maybe with one he hasn’t considered up until this point.

#couch discourse #this pretty much covers it all #i feel sliiiightly unhinged about this don’t know if you’ve noticed #911 on fox #evan buckley #eddie diaz #christopher diaz #buddie #buddie meta #(hope the english in this is englishing)

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mymistakewriting · 1 year

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i personally agree and relate so much with buck’s adhd + anxiety specifically so i was just wondering if you could go more in depth with those headcanons? adhd buck is so important to me and reading about it and talking gives ME dopamine lol. oooh and the volume control like getting called out on it would so trigger his RSD! and everyone LOVES going to trivia with him for sure hahah sorry this kind of turned into my headcanons but yeah what do you think??!

I'll answer that second ask you sent in separately because Oh Boy do I have some Opinions to share on all of it.

I absolutely adore getting to just sit down and scream about characters and their habits and their mental health and how it all ties together. And Buck has given me PLENTY to work with since I started the show. But specifically focusing in on his ADHD & anxiety & RSD?

Not only does he hyperfixate on random stuff that has no use he CANONICALLY does research on natural disasters after he's lived through them - he did so with the tsunami, he did so with the earthquakes. He even canonically references researching volcanos after the wildfire crossover with Lone Star where he made the trip to Austin to help. This man is a walking encyclopedia of information on natural disasters and traumas. But it's very much a coping mechanism. It's a "I survived this and I have no clue how or why, so I have to understand what the odds were and I need to be able to be prepared and help others better if I ever live through another one of these". It's a "if I understand this and why it happens and how best to survive it, then it holds no power over me". It's a "I can't be scared of this so I have to understand it instead." It's the kind of coping mechanism that I've only ever seen in people who have ADHD or autism - statistics over fear, because fear can only cause harm ESPECIALLY as a first responder. Fear can come later, accept he tries not to ever let it because that makes him weak in his eyes.

The anxiety definitely stims from childhood trauma - look at his parents and Maddie and tell me that their behaviors weren't the root cause of so many of Buck's bad habits and I'll call you a liar. His parents are the reason he's so reckless. His parents AND Maddie are the reason Buck 1.0 was clinging so tightly to the label of sex addict because it was hard for him to admit that he didn't feel good enough after being left behind by everyone he'd ever had in his entire life. And don't take this as me talking poorly on Maddie, but she's also the reason why Buck latched on so tightly to Abby. And Ali. And Taylor. And the 118 crew. She left when he was a teenager, left him with parents that they both knew were awful, and he kind of internalized it and now a few years down the line it's crippling anxiety and abandonment issues and he doesn't have an outlet for any of that. And I could go on for hours about how his childhood contributed to him being semi-verbal at best, and about how much of how he defines himself ties into how he was defined as a kid, but that'll have to be a whole other post because there are so many intricacies to it that it deserves it's own thing.

His RSD. Oh I love the portrayal they give for his RSD. Because it's not just canceled plans and being overlooked that send him spiraling like so many people assume when they hear the phrase. It's someone's tone changing or someone pulling away too soon when he gets comfortable showing affection. It's how he held on so tight until he just couldn't anymore when Abby left because she said she'd come back and she's never lied to me before so she'll come back, everyone else is being dramatic. I just have to wait.

It's how well he just gave all of himself to Ali. She helped him find a place to live. Helped him furnish it in a way that is shockingly out of character for Buck - none of those decorations when he was with her felt like him in the slightest.

It was how he tried to twist and change himself and his relationships to make things with with Taylor. He didn't bring Eddie up to her often, didn't bring her up to Eddie unless he could avoid it, didn't talk about work, let her use his place and his information and his everything to do her job even though it got him questioned there at the end by the Department about who her sources were. And it's there in how hesitant he was to end things. How much he looked like he was fighting himself when he did end things.

His volume control is such a small thing that never gets called out in the fandom posts I do see - the 118 is wonderful at it once they know him, they know ways to point it out without sending him into a tailspin. It's always a gentle cup to the shoulder or elbow or a gentle nudge of shoulder to shoulder or a soft redirection that requires a softer voice somewhere else. It's never a "you're being too loud" or an annoyed glance from them.

From people they save, though? Buck stutters a lot more around people they work to save, he's always trying to be conscious of everything because he's gotten those looks or gotten those annoyed comments time and time and time again until it's become one of his biggest insecurities.

He gives every bit of himself to everything he does, and it definitely makes his RSD worse when that just isn't enough.

#kieran talks #asks #anon #evan buckley #buck #911 headcanons #I had a lot to say about this sorry #I think I still have more to say but this was getting a little long

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adarkermiserablecrow · 10 months

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I finally watched 6x11, 'In another life' and boy did some writer put their whole pussy into this one.

And I have Thoughts about this which I am gonna share with the class, because I have been crying/yelling at my tv/hysterically laughing for 45 minutes now, and if my neighbours are going to hate me, the least I can do is hop on here and be annoying.

It got really long and ramble-y so I'll put it under a cut.

1. Coma Buckley family: I think it's really interesting that, in the beginning, it's implied that the buckley parents dote on evan to daniel's detriment (''oh i didnt know you remembered he had a brother") but not neglecting him like they neglected Buck irl. Daniel seems well-adjusted, implied to be a caring doctor ("maybe you should listen to your patients") but also a bit aloof, oblivious (not noticing anything weird about doug - a bit more on that later). It does seem like a picture perfect family, on its surface, with bickering siblings and family dinners, but it sets up a very important theme that runs throughout the episode: this dream life, buck being a teacher and on good terms with his parents and having his brother be alive, comes at the expense of his ability to help. First and foremost, his ability to help his sister escape, offer safe haven, because in this reality he never left PA. And later on in the episode, people insist that he has the ability to fix anything in the coma, but that was disproved at the very beginning when he tried to help maddie and failed, and failed to get daniel to help. From the get go, we see that even in here, not everything is fixable, and we're told this later on as well, when bobby says 'you cant bring me back to life in this dream'. The point here is that at the beginning we're dealing with buck who wants the happy family he never knew as a child, the neglected kid who wishes his parents would be the kind of people that they were in the dream, happy and involved in his life. But at the end, having been through the rest of the dream, it's his parents in their new shiny caring version that try to hold him back, it's his parents dragging him down. But, this is his subconscious, so in reality, it's that wish of having a happy family and the resentment towars his parents that is dragging him down, and he recognises that, and he forgives them, because thats the only way he can move on, return to life. Many people complain about the parents' redemption, and maybe ill change my mind when i watch the rest of the season, but I dont think it was a redemption for them. It was all on buck, he forgave them, he chose to move past it, and let them into his life. In the end, back in the real world, his parents still don't really listen to him, when he says his apartment is fine, he does not need a couch. Buck tells maddie he doesn't mind them. That doesnt mean they're meant to have changed, Buck is the one who changed. And, the choice to go hard on the father/son dynamic with bobby, and buck telling daniel his family is different out there, adds a layer: he doesn't really view them as his parents anymore. He doesn't get hung up on it now, but he lets go of the idea that they would ever be the doting family he needed as a child, and recognises that he found that family elsewhere. He accepts them as people in his life, and rejects them as parents. It ties into Chimney's storyline with his own father, how Chim and Buck both move toward forgiveness, and it also ties back to the sperm donor storyline and the argument between chim and buck's fathers. The point of the buckleys' 'redemption' is that buck forgives, even if he does not forget.

2. Buck's other fixes: it has been established that this all happens in buck's subconscious. The way he slowly realises the impact his life has had on others is just... The starting point is maddie and yeah I said that already, but then he finds chim and hen pretty much the same, and he assumes the only person he's ever helped is maddie. But then he finds out about bobby and eddie, and it occurs to him for the first time ever that he helped them too, got them out of a tough spot. It's not a sure thing that things would have turned out that way in buck's absence, but the point here is for him to realise that he helped, he was needed. It's particularly strong with Bobby, who appears like a little psychopathic gremlin in the dream, drinking here and there and guzzling down pills, and essentially tells buck that, in the dream, he can fix almost anything. And it all snowballs into buck realising he helped bobby, essentially by annoying him. And it's so important that at the end of the 'i made you mad and i made you laugh sometimes' speech, bobby calls that 'being buck', because it's essentially saying that buck helped bobby just by being himself. Again, this is the way buck's mind conjures it up, but it's no less important that he comes to the conclusion that being himself was enough. That he doesn't need to be someone else to help the people he loves (and to me that sentiment calls back to s4, him climbing that crane to protect everyone, and bobby saying that's who he is - not a compliment).

3. Eddie. This part may be the buddie shipper in me getting high on copium, but I think eddie's absolute absence from the dream was connected to him never stepping foot in buck's room irl, except to bring in chris. I mean, in the coma buck was with chim, irl chim is by his bedside. Coma, he's talking with bobby, irl bobby has busted out the rosary beads. It wasnt a hard rule as far as I can tell, though we know buck had some awareness of the room and the goings on, he could hear them (thats why i think the copium might play a part in this paragraph). But also, it feels so important that the people who tell buck explicitly to come back and get better are essentially proxys. Athena on behalf of bobby and Chris on behalf of eddie. And, in the coma, Eddie does not physically appear, but he is the first flash of irl buck remembers (not chim, but eddie's 'go get em') and also, of course, the last 'fix' of buck's, bringing the total of people he helped in a big way to three: maddie, bobby, and eddie. Doesnt really tell us anything about buddie, but it does reinforce the strong relationship between the characters, platonic or not. (Also, eddie 'pain is weakness' diaz crying even a single tear in public feels like a Big Thing).

4. Daniel. Honestly? The chase in the end of the episode and the subsequent argument between buck and daniel (who, yes, is also buck, but ill keep calling daniel to avoid confusion) might be one of my favourite scenes in the entire show. Maybe one of my favourite scenes in any tv show ive watched. First off, that part of buck represents essentially every self worth issue he has. It's the part of him that is the most broken, tells him he isn't needed, isn't wanted, he's spare parts that turned out defective (a sentiment buck has expressed out loud in s4 and it was the 118 reassuring him he is much more than spare parts). And all of this stems from buck's childhood, so it makes sense that it took on the appearance of daniel, since daniel was the source of it all, through no fault of his own, even long before buck knew of his existence. It's daniel's death that brings on the grief that swallows the buckleys and leads to buck's childhood being the way it was. Things would have been different had daniel survived, or so buck believes. Beyond that, daniel's ignorance of maddie's situation reflects on buck blaming himself for not seeing that his sister was suffering (which buck even says out loud in the kitchen scene in this episode). And, when the switch flips, daniel becomes buck, the part of buck that is broken and hateful not to others but to himself, buck borrows a lesson from bobby and manages to break free of his own low self worth. I dont think thats the end of that, but buck's jourmey this episode was all about realising that he is needed, so he could look in the mirror in this scene and say no, you're wrong, they don't want me gone, they care about me. And, as someone who deeply relates to having that voice in your head, and to buck in general, it's so powerful to see a character manage to overcome that. It's so powerful to see buck, textbook people pleaser that he is, realise that he's talking to himself and say 'oh you're me. I dont have to feel bad about not listening to you', and use the first real artifact of firefighting we've seen in the coma dream to break free and return to his life, his real family. And, oliver stark's acting in this scene, whew - buck being confused and emotional but still relentless in pursuing his goal, and the other buck being cold and cruel and also relentless in his insistence that he is just not worth it, not needed. Just - chef's kiss. I cant really explain how much that scene spoke to me, because it is tangled up in how much I relate to buck as a character, and thats a whole other can of worms.

5. Random things. I appreciated that the traumatic events that happened to buck over the course of the show were at least acknowledged. Given that most of the other characters (barring chim, I think) have had storylines about dealing with trauma, it's a bit glaring that buck never really did. Sadly, I think it's too late for that now, aside from if they do something with the lightning going forward. But I am glad they were mentioned, because the man went through a bombing and a tsunami within six months of each other, and it was never really talked about. The bombing led into the lawsuit plot and then was resolved, and the tsunami trauma storyline was about chris (not complaining, it's just how it was). I do wish those traumas had been explored, but I really do think we're past that point and am happy we're at least acknowledging them. (Also, the implication that the tsunami left him so deeply traumatised that it's present in his parents' coma house, supposedly a safe haven from everything real, as a ferris wheel that 'doesnt fit with anything' because trauma stands out in your mind, im-).

Another thing is the lighting, the cold, grey hues of the real hospital, versus warm colour in the coma dream which gradually gets colder the closer buck gets to waking up, and the return of warm lighting in the end, when buck wakes up in the hospital and his family is there to see him. Also, people irl dressed in drab, muted colours, vs. the characters in the dream being more vibrant, esp buck in that green sweater which btw was a gold star choice from the costume department.

Basically everyone put their whole pussy into this, from the writers to the crew to the actors, and while it's not the only time this has happened, I'm really glad it did.

The end. Pretty much. Ive probably managed to forget some things, and maybe I was Captain Obvious abour others, and wrong about some, but this episode made it right to the top of my list of favourites right away, and it'll probably keep me up tonight lmao. Thanks for coming to my TED talk, hope it made sense.

#this episode wrecked me in the best way tbh #911 fox #fox 911 #evan buckley #911 #911 season six #911 season six spoilers #911 s6 spoilers #911 6x11 #evan buck buckley #buck 911

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stagefoureddiediaz · 1 year

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The birth and resurrection of Buck

Have a meta to tide you over until the episode airs!!!

The imagery that the writers and the crew (and cast but they’re doing what they’re directed to do so I'm not including them here) have been utilising in relation to Buck and Christian symbolism is pretty interesting - and especially in relation to the resurrection of Christ.

We’ve seen so many references to it now that its almost like the universe is screaming at us or something! This is not fully comprehensive as I am sure there is more and I've not got time to do the level of in depth analysis I'd like to (I'm trying to get this out before 6x10 airs!), but this is the major points in relation to Buck and the resurrection. Putting it below the cut because its a bit long 😎

Buck is a saviour baby

We all know Buck was born to save his brother and that has had a profound impact on who he is and how he views himself - he has made saving people his entire personality. In Christianity Jesus was born to save the human race from sin and spent his life saving people through his preaching and miracles etc. Even Bucks name ties him to being a saviour - Evan means 'Gods gift' or 'Gods messenger' playing into the idea that God gave the Buckleys a gift (which they then didn't appreciate) and he then used Buck to spread his message (which we are only now truly getting to see the extent of) which leads me on to;

Travelling Buck

The bible details Jesus travelling preaching and spreading the word of God. These travels are an important part of the story and actually stem back to his birth - Mary and Joseph have to escape from Bethlehem and spend time in Egypt before returning to Nazareth

We see Buck escaping his parents and heading out on his own travels - sending postcards back to Maddie. Bucks travels are an important part of his own story - he didn't use his travels to preach etc in the way jesus did but he did use them to

St Christopher and the tsunami

I have a slightly unorthodox view of the st Christopher and the tsunami connection - but hear me out. So most people refer to Buck as being the embodiment of st Christopher in the tsunami arc because he carried Chris and got him to safety - all totally valid and definitely a legitimate way to read it. I However think there is a second way to view it because yes Buck saved Chris etc etc carrying him like St Christopher carried Jesus, but if you think about it metaphorically, things can look a little different.

Think about it this way - Eddie and Shannon have a baby and name him Christopher - then Shannon gives Eddie the St Christopher necklace - to protect him and remind him he has a family to come home to. Now Eddie carries that necklace around with him like a talisman.

Fast forward to the Tsunami and Christopher is dropped off with buck by Eddie to get him out of his loft - Buck is metaphorically drowning in his depression etc over not being able to return to work etc. The show was blatant in its use of the tsunami as a metaphor for the tidal wave of grief and depression both Buck and Christopher (and Eddie to a certain extent) were experiencing for differing reasons (Buck identifying himself through his job and feeling there is nothing else for him and Christopher the grief of losing his mother) - theres a reason he is they are the only two directly caught up in the wave! Buck directly refers to Christopher saving him - up on the fire truck "we saved each other" and then Eddie tells Buck its time for Christopher to "do the same [save him] for you" and then we get Bucks voiceover about the life raft that gets you home - implying that it is Christopher (and Eddie though his words) carrying Buck home (to safety.

We get to see it in action again in Eddie begins - Eddie is buried in rising water - yet the thought of Christopher (and Buck) leads him to safety - to saving himself. The story of St Christopher talks about the water swelling and rising - much like the Tsunami of course, but also like the rising water Eddie battles through to get back to safety - to his family.

It is this reason that I would argue Christopher is the embodiment of st Christopher, and not Buck, although they are in many respects interchangeable.

While we're on the subject of St Christopher, it is worth mentioning that he is not only the patron saint of travellers, but also of things related to travel and travellers—against lightning and pestilence in particular, obviously we had the pestilence shown through Covid - and the separation of Christopher from Eddie and Buck as a form of protection and now the lightning is coming out to play. I think the fact its Eddie connected to Buck on the ladder is more significant than it just being about Buddie - it also connects into the st Christopher of it all - Eddies necklace forms that direct connection to Christopher, and Eddie is going to be connected to Buck via a rope (I love layers connections like this!) thus connecting him to Christopher as well!

Maddie

Maddie as a name means 'from Magdala' - the place Mary Magdalene is from. Mary Magdalene has had a bad rap over the years - there is very little evidence that she was a prostitute - it is likely that another Mary (the most common name for women of the time) was conflated with Mary Magdalene and thus she becomes known as a prostitute. Mary was considered Jesus's most faithful follower, and the one who understood him best - she is considered to have taken care of him and financially supported his ministry. We could attribute all of these same characteristics to Maddie herself - she is the one who has taken care of Buck, she has supported him - one could say that giving him the Jeep and some cash so he could travel is that same as providing financial support (Bucks ministry being the fact that he needs to travel to find himself and end up in LA, so giving him the jeep sets everything in motion) and Maddie is also the one who understands him best (Eddie is on his way to superseding her but shared childhood trauma edges in her favour right now!) Mary Magdalene is the one who witnesses the empty tomb and the resurrection of Jesus - ergo Maddie being the one at Bucks bedside when he wakes isn’t that much of a reach for us to make.

A couple of other snippets before we get to the resurrection itself;

Jesus was 33 when he died - Buck is 33 (approximately) in Canon at the time of the lightning strike 👀

Jesus was resurrected on the 3rd day - we’ve been getting all the 3’s - literally all of them - this season and I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Buck is in a coma for 3 days (and if I'm right about this i'll be flinging myself into the sun over it!)

Also we haven't talked about the Taylor of it all - Taylor is Judas! Let me explain, Judas became Jesus's closest apostle, but he is also separated from the other apostles, through his dislike of the way Jesus went about certain things - he's the only Apostle to question Jesus outright right and he betrayed Jesus - which lead to his crucifixion.

With Taylor she has always had this antagonistic side to her - she questions Buck (without understanding or reason), and she is technically the closest to him (by virtue of dating him not because she is actually the closest person to him) whilst also being separate from everyone else in the show. It is Taylor who betrays Buck and leads to the higher ups semi blacklisting Buck in the aftermath - similar to the way Judas's betrayal of Jesus allowed Pilate to arrest and ultimately kill him. In the same way that it was essentially predetermined that Judas would betray Jesus, it was predetermined on the show that Taylor would ultimately betray Buck (and the 118). Its important to remember that Buck feeling like he's been black listed etc as a result of Taylors actions is a key part of his spiral in season 6 - it is the catalyst for so much of what has happened thus far and part of why he was so determined to prove himself captain material and for his decision to try the age of absolutely and say yes to everything!

As an aside to this Judas is often depicted in Christian imagery with red hair - just like a certain reporter we all know and hate!!

The Resurrection

So we've all been screaming over the imagery of Buck hanging in the air and subsequently being lowered to the ground and into the arms of Bobby and how it fits into Christian imagery of Jesus being removed from the cross Like this one - 'Deposition' by Caravaggio

Deposition is one of the more famous paintings depicting this moment, but Christs removal from the cross is often depicted with the presence of ladders and the pose they have Buck in is also a commonly used one in the depiction of Christ's removal from the cross

such as this one by Rembrant;

or this one by Rubens

in both instances Christ is removed from the cross and into the arms of Joseph of Arimethea and we see the women of Christ (I hate that term but there we go!) both Mary Magdalene and his mother Mary in these paintings. Joseph was granted permission to bury Jesus - a feat normally undertaken by the father of the deceased. The fact that Joseph of Galilee wasn't present (when Mary was) suggests that he was already deceased.

you cannot convince me that this;

wasn't inspired by the above art! there are a couple of really interesting things about the fact we have Bobby very obviously in the position of Joesph of Arimethea. Joesph of Arimethea is taking on the role of father figure to Christ and we know Bobby has taken on the role of father figure to Buck. I'm also willing to put money on the person we can't see being Hen - thus representing the women. This will also likely be accompanied by Maddie being at Bucks bedside (and we might possibly see Margaret there as well in some capacity even if I start growling!!)

The thing with the crucifixion, deposition and subsequent resurrection is that they are the key turning point in the bible - they are the moment when the work Jesus has undertaken up to this point gains its importance and status - without his sacrifice at that moment, it is very possible Christianity (and Judaism and islam as well for that matter) may not exist!

If we break it down in 911 terms and look at where Buck is at right now and where he is headed it all ties in very interestingly with Jesus.

The pipeline is essentially the same

Jesus; betrayed - crucified - removed from the cross - resurrected.

Buck; Betrayed - crucified - removed from the ladder truck - resurrected (and in a coma before waking up)

We know Buck isn't going to actually die - that wouldn't serve the same purpose for the show that Christs death did in the bible. The outcome is the same though. Buck is going to die - temporarily and its going to land him in a coma, but hes going to die. and that is so important. Buck is at apoint where he needs to shed the 'Evan of it all. the saviour label is so firmly attached to Evan and at this point in time Buck cannot escape its clutches - he even leant into it with the sperm donation. Now though hes discovering leaning into hasn't actually helped or made him feel better.

Buck is still stuck with this saviour label attached to him - only the risk is that now its becoming attached to Buck as well - not just to Evan (Connor knows Buck from before - when he was still Evan remember). Bucks choice to become a sperm donor means the lines are becoming increasingly blurred between Evan and Buck. In order for Buck to learn and grow - for him to be able to move on and essentially become who he wants to be - who Buck is, he needs to not be Evan anymore, so that means some form of rebirth.

This is where the coma storyline is such a great narrative device as a representation of the resurrection - in his coma Buck will get to see who Evan would've been - without the Buck of it all. He'll discover that it's not all its cracked up to be in his head - that thats not who he is, who he wants to be or who he'll ever be and being that won't make him happy. It won't be straightforward, nor will he get there immediately (healing isn't linear but Buck is on that road finally), but he will be carrying that knowledge with him and that will help him figure out that Buck is loved and wanted in a way Evan never has been (with the exception of by Maddie), that he isn't spare parts in the way Evan is and he will be able to be resurrected as Buck.

We need to remember that Christ was resurrected 3 days after his death and then appeared to certain people (in particular the apostles but also to others) during the next 40 days. This is why I'm expecting Buck to be in a coma for 3 days.

This is in no way as coherent as I'd like it to be - I think I'll have to revisit when I'm not feeling quite so insane about the episode tonight!!

I don't think I've written this much on religion since I was in RE classes at school!! I find the use of religious imagery in modern media really interesting and 911 is really going all in with it! Anyway I hope you found it interesting and I'm sure I've left out a lot of stuff, but the important points are all there I think!

feel free to drop thoughts opinions etc in the tags or comments - I can't wait to read everyone else's good thoughts and ideas!

#this was a frantic slog to get done today with all the spoilers etc happening and distracting me from getting this done!#not my most coherent meta but its a good starting point I think #my brain is not letting me get out what I want to - I had more dots connected!!!#incoherent babbling!!#kym writes meta #resurrection meta #911 spoilers #evan buckley #911 on fox #buck #911onfox #911 fox

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matan4il · 2 years

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Can I just throw out there that this episode is the perfect reason why alot of us (including you) always say speculating to much will just make you get let down. It was an episode full of goodness but some people will only concentrate on the fact Chris didnt stay home with Buck or Eddie didn't come out to his parents.

My personal take before was that of course Chris gloes with Eddie and this seasons theme has been parenting. I felt it was easiest to assume this would be about parenting

Also so well done opening with soft comfortable Buddie. Buck not afraid to call Eddie on his BS. Picking up Pepa. How cute Eddies face was when he called for Chris.

Side note to I think Chris needed to absent from Bucks storyline with Taylor. You mentioned the scene with his arm behind her but to me there was actually more.. They seemed to intentionally make her seem smaller and maybe more frail and yet they didn't have Buck act how he normally would in that situation when he was the bigger one. The protector. You contrast it with Jee and Maddie and its blaring you know.

Anyways I went a lottle off track there sorry. Loved your meta this week!

Hi lovely!

Absolutely this. Let’s take Chris staying with Buck. I get wanting that (I would love it, too) and with everything we’ve seen so far in the Buddifer family unit, it wouldn’t be out of place.

But at the end of the day, I think a big part of how the ep was constructed was tied to Gavin not being available to film for it. Think about it, had Chris stayed with Buck, we would have never been okay with him being constantly only referred to, while being absent from our screens (having fallen asleep in the car or being in the other room). We would have wanted to see it! I’m not sure we wouldn’t have been just as disappointed, if not more so. Also, Buck needed to be involved with Taylor, Chim and Hen in this ep, to set up the B/T break up. That was good stuff! But it worked better without Chris there. Plus, when we will one day get to see Chris staying with Buck like that, it would be so much better to not have to see someone like Taylor being a part of that, awkwardly trying to interact with Christopher as well. I also absolutely agree with you that everything between B/T in this ep was off.

And as you’ve said, what Eddie was going through in ep 517 had everything to do with cross-generational parenting, he’s a mirror image of his dad despite not wanting to. Mentioning Chris is there, even if we don’t see him on screen, is a good reminder for casual viewers that Eddie’s thinking of who he is, as a son and as a father, when he looks at his dad. It was needed. So yeah, I think what we got worked well, and better than the alternative.

Thank you so much for the kind words about my meta, and for expanding the dialogue about this ep! I enjoyed it so much. Have a great day! xoxox

(I got an influx of asks, I WILL answer all of them, but it might take a sec. If anyone wants to check whether I've already answered theirs or to read my replies, here's my ask tag. Thank you! xoxox)

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clusterbuck · 2 years

Text

so it caught my eye in this gifset by @chiquititadiaz and now it's two hours later and i have some thoughts about taylor kelly's hair.

specifically, the fact that we only ever see her hair tied back in three episodes (+ 2x06 but that one doesn't count), and i think it means something—i think taylor wearing her hair tied is a step she takes to close herself off. to armour herself. to signal that she’s on guard. it also serves to signal a layer of removal from a given situation, whether by her or by the writers. (and the bottom line of all this spells trouble for bucktaylor)

so we first meet taylor in 2x06 dosed, and she's a pretty big part of the episode. the first time we see her, when she's being rescued from the crashed helicopter, her hair is tied back.

we don’t know anything about her at this point, but it makes sense as a character choice. her job is literally hanging out in helicopters, no one wants all that hair blowing around. but even then it’s not fully tied back, she’s still got the bangs going on in the front, which tells us that hair is important to her. it’s part of how she constructs who she is.

which is confirmed by the fact that as soon as she can have two feet on the ground again she starts wearing her hair down, and it stays that way every single time we see her except for three episodes.

5x05 peer pressure

in peer pressure, we see taylor with her hair tied back twice. the first time is the conversation that opens the episode: chimney’s gone, and buck’s feeling weird about it.

taylor doesn’t seem to understand where he’s coming from, or why he’s feeling this way. instead she tells him a barely-relevant story about herself and then tells him not to make everything about himself (which. well) she’s not fully present in the situation in the way buck needs her to be—she’s removed. she’s taking a step back instead of meeting buck where he is.

the other time we see her hair up in this episode is when maddie calls.

this picture is basically the most in-focus she is for the whole scene, and she’s always shot over buck’s shoulder, always behind him. she listens to buck taking the call, makes concerned faces in the background, but she doesn’t really reach out for him, and buck doesn’t turn to her. she’s removed from the situation.

it could also be argued that both of these instances are times when people tend to have their hair up for practical purposes (exercise/sleep), but the choice was made to have these scenes play out like this, so. also, in 5x01 and 5x07 we see taylor sleeping/getting ready for bed with her hair down, which makes this decision an anomaly.

5x09 past is prologue

we also see her hair up twice here. the first time is near the beginning, when buck is telling her about the oil wells and pitching a story, and she’s distracted and closed off.

this scene also contains “i should go home”, which is kind of impossible not to parallel to “maybe you should go home first”, and leads to buck saying “i think it’s over.”

this is when she’s thinking about going to her dad’s parole hearing, and she doesn’t want to tell buck about it. she doesn’t want to let him in, she’s closed off, she’s reserved, and her hair reflects that.

later, when she tells buck where she’s going and why, her hair is down.

further along, once they’ve come back from oklahoma and she apologises for not telling buck sooner, her hair is once again tied back.

she’s telling him, she’s letting him in, but she’s clearly reluctant about it. “i tell other people’s stories because i hate telling my own.” the hair is a layer of protection. like armour.

5x13 fear-o-phobia

twice here, too. the first time is when she’s moving in, and this is the one that i think is most interesting. because moving in together should be exciting, but she’s on guard from the jump. there are reservations here.

her hair was down when buck asked her to move in, but now it’s up. now it’s tied back, protected, hidden behind her shoulders.

then buck tells her he kissed lucy, and her hair is down because she doesn’t see it coming. she’s settling in, she thinks it’s going well, she’s getting comfortable, and out of nowhere buck hits her with the kiss.

but when she comes back to the apartment, cautiously ready to talk things through, her hair is braided and tied back.

it’s a sign of reservation, of caution, of holding back, but it’s also a very interesting choice in light of the fact that it’s braided, and this is the scene where she suggests buck trapped her—braids are about as trapped as hair gets. this is also only the second time we’ve ever seen her wear her hair in a braid, which suggests it’s not a common choice for her but rather something she did intentionally, reminiscent of armour.

anyway. all of this is is basically to say that if we see taylor with her hair tied back again i think it’s gonna mean shit’s going down

#why am i writing meta about taylor kelly’s hair #idk but i had the thought i had to follow it up #i don’t even think this makes sense except it kind of does #anti bucktaylor #shush emma

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