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joeys-babe · 5 months

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Joey B Imagines: Out of My League

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Summary: Flashback. The story of how you and Joe came to be. Years before marriage and your little family.

Warnings: none, fluff

Pairing: Joe Burrow x reader

Imagine universe: Beginning of… Into The Mystic

A/N: Joe is a senior in high school and you are a junior. It's your first year at Athens HS! Also, most of these students' names are made up.

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August, 2014

(Joe’s pov)

“Yo! Joey!” - Zach

I turned around to see one of my best friends running up to me.

“First day of senior year!” - Zach

“Yup! Just think about it, we’re like the big dogs now.” - Joe

“Ya know it. I heard that there's this really hot new chick coming from Kentucky.” - Zach

“Well, I don't want any part of that. I've got enough going on with football and schoolwork. Don't be surprised if my next girlfriend is in college.” - Joe

“Damn dude, that was pretty forward. You haven't even seen her yet. This could be your Juliette, Romeo!” - Zach

“I highly doubt it.” - Joe

We rounded the corner to find a few more of the football guys and a few of their girlfriends with them.

“Yeah, her name is y/n.” - Cassidy

“Who is?” - Joe

After making my presence known, Cassidy turned around and rolled her eyes at the sight of me.

“Dude, what was that for?” - Joe

“Shoo, Joe.” - Cassidy

“What, why?” - Joe

“Because I'd rather you leave than explain that we have a new girl just to hear you say you're focusing on football.” - Cassidy

“She’s got a point.” - Zach

“Who's side are you on?” - Joe rolled his eyes

Before Zach could answer, the bell rang, telling us to head to first period.

The group disbanded, and when everyone else went in the direction of the same classroom, I realized I was probably going to be alone in this class.

My first period was chemistry, and sadly, the teacher was notorious for a boy-girl seating chart.

I walked upstairs and found the room. When I walked in, everyone was in their seats already.

Looking for my name attached to a seat number on the board, I found it and then went on trying to find it.

The tables were for two people, and in the back corner where my table was, I saw that a girl was already occupying the other seat.

She was pretty, I won't lie, but I'd never seen her before.

The girl was looking down at her schedule when I sat my stuff down on the table, causing her to look up at me.

A warm smile spread across her lips, and I found myself studying her face a little too long.

“Hi.” - Joe

“Hey.” - you

I sat down next to her, my mind trying to come up with a conversation.

“Enjoying your first day so far?” - Joe

“Yeah, pretty well, you?” - you

“Same. Other than my friend’s girlfriend being rude to me for no reason.” - Joe

She laughed. It was one of the cutest laughs I've ever heard, and it was infectious too.

“I'm sure you didn't deserve it.” - you

“Thank you! I walked up to them, and she just rolled her eyes at me.” - Joe

“Dang man, she has beef with you.” - you

“That's what I'm sayin’. I don't know what I've ever done to her, though.” - Joe

“Ask her.” - you shrugged

“Nah, I don't care that much. Why am I even telling you this?” - Joe

“I don't know.” - you laughed

There's that laugh again.

“I just started unloading on you, huh? Well, I haven't seen you before so tell me about yourself.” - Joe

“Well, I'm a junior, so that's probably why. I'm not that interesting though. I strive for good grades, and I do gymnastics with a side of dance.” - you

“Oh really? I play football.” - Joe

“That's cool.” - you smiled

“Yeah, I’m feeling really good about this season, I just know it's gonna be great.” - Joe

“Well, I wish you luck.” - you

“I appreciate that, and you too. Hope gymnastics goes well.” - Joe

“Thank you.” - you smiled

Before the conversation could go further, the teacher started talking about what we should expect in this class. The teacher didn't stop me and my new seat buddy from talking, though.

As we talked longer, I realized we had a lot in common. I wouldn't be lying if I said she was the first girl I've talked to about Star Wars.

She was really fun, though, and easy to talk to.

Our conversation lasted till the bell rang, and we both sheepishly smiled when we realized that we'd been loudly talking in a quiet classroom.

I stood up and started packing my things. She did the same. The rest of the students were filing out of the room when we both put our backpacks on, seemingly in sync.

“I… I’m Joe, by the way. Joe Burrow, but most call me Joey.” - Joe

“It was nice talking to you, Joey. I'm y/n.” - you

She shook my hand and walked out of the door, leaving me shocked.

y/n… new hot girl from Kentucky.

After talking to her, it felt wrong to refer to her in that way. She was really pretty, but hot isn't a word I like to use when referring to girls.

I hope I have more classes with her. Woah, what am I saying?!

Focus on football, Joe.

——

Sadly, I didn't have any more classes with y/n, but I thankfully had friends in all my other classes.

I had lunch B, and most of my football buddies were in there, but I found myself zoning out while trying to look around the room for her.

Ever since the bell rang in chemistry, I haven't stopped thinking about y/n. It was becoming a slight problem, but it seemed like all I wanted was to go to chemistry tomorrow and talk to her.

After school ended, the football team stayed after school since we had our first home game the same day.

Hours later, we were suited up and ready to go out and stretch.

When we ran out and took the field as the senior quarterback, I was naturally the one leading the pack, but my eyes drifted toward the sideline.

One of the cheerleaders was flipping while the others were in stunts, but when she landed her last trick and posed, I gasped lightly when I saw who it was.

y/n.

That's how Cassidy knew her name! She’s a cheerleader!

“Joe! Where are you going?” - Zach

The sound of my teammate yelling snapped me out of my daydream, and I realized that when the rest of the team stopped running to stretch, I kept going because all I was paying attention to was y/n.

“Oh.” - Joe

I turned around and ran to where I was supposed to be, but when I turned around, y/n was smiling at me. I smiled back.

——

We ended up winning the game, which is always amazing, but even better since it was our home opener.

After walking back into the locker room to hear what the coaches had to say, I showered and packed up to find my parents.

I wasn't at all surprised when most of the cheerleaders were standing outside waiting. Most of their boyfriends were players, so they'd wait after for them.

My eyes landed on my parents and brothers, but as I was walking in their direction, I heard a familiar voice calling for me.

“Joe!” - you

I turned in the direction of the voice to see y/n speedwalking over to me with a smile on her face.

“Hey, y/n.” - Joe smiled

“Hey, you did well! I knew you said you played football but I wasn't expecting that. You're super good.” - you

Is it hot out here all of a sudden? Why is my face heating up?

“Thanks. You're really good too. I know those flips are hard to do. You make it look effortless.” - Joe

“Thanks… sorry I distracted you though.” - you

“Not your fault, I just wasn't expecting to see you. You look uh… good, by the way.” - Joe

“You too.” - you giggled

Just as I was about to say something else, I heard my mom's voice calling for me.

“Sorry, that's my mom. I gotta go.” - Joe

“It's all good. See you in chem?” - you

“See you in chem.” - Joe

As I walked away from her, I felt something I'd never felt before.

Oh no.

——

Next Day

It was Friday and lunchtime.

All my teammates were feeling good after the win yesterday, and sure, I was too, but that wasn't what was on my mind.

This morning in chemistry, I found myself lost in a conversation with y/n again. The disappointment when the bell rang was insane. I never wanted to stop talking to her.

She was just different.

The attention she got from other guys was because of her looks, and she was pretty, gosh, she was pretty… but I didn't like being around her for that.

We had a lot in common and never ran out of things to talk about. She listened to what I had to say and gave great feedback. We talked about our futures and what we wanted to be when we graduated.

I told her about my hopes of going to the league, and what she replied with gave me a flutter in my stomach that I'd never felt before.

“If you make it to the NFL, you have to invite me to come see you.”

I’d known this girl for two days and I was already ready to make that promise.

My mind was so stuck on that altercation that I didn't hear Zach talking to me from across the table.

“Joe? Joe!” - Zach

I flinched slightly and looked up at him, all the guys at the table watching me with weird looks on their faces.

“Sorry… I spaced out.” - Joe

“Anyway, Cassidy told me that y/n was asking about you at their lunch.” - Zach

“What? What'd she ask?” - Joe

Should my heart be beating this fast?

“Asked if you had a girlfriend, I guess. Don't worry, though, Cas told her that you're focusing on football.” - Zach

“Oh. Okay.” - Joe

Is that really what I want?

“She’s so funny to tease.” - Chad

“Seriously, she's got cheerleader brain.” - Max

Why are they talking about her like that??

“I gotta go.” - Joe

I stood up from the lunch table, quickly finding a trashcan and throwing my stuff away before walking out of the lunch room.

“What’s his problem?” - Max

“I don't know, bro.” - Chad

Zach knew because he was right. What he told me yesterday was haunting me.

Romeo, this could be your Juliette.

——

My thoughts ran wild as I went to the office and asked to do some volunteer work.

The receptionist gave me the okay to go down to the middle school for the remainder of the lunch period.

I drove over to the middle school and went up to the office, clicking the button to signal the office worker that I was out there.

When the door unlocked I was able to open it. I did, and whose eyes I met surprised me.

“y/n?” - Joe

“Oh, hey Joe.” - you

“What are you doing here?” - Joe

“Gonna head to a class to volunteer, I have a free period right now. Aren't you supposed to be in lunch?” - you

“Well, yeah, but I had to get out of there.” - Joe

“Why’s that?” - you

Her brows were furrowed like she could hear the slight edge in my voice.

“Some of the guys were saying stuff about you, kinda pissed me off, so I left.” - Joe

“What? You left because of that? I’m used to it, Joe. I'm just a dumb cheerleader.” - you

“You're not, though, that's why I didn't want to listen to it. I've only known you for two days, but I look forward to every conversation we share. They don't know you as I do.” - Joe

y/n placed a hand on my shoulder and smiled at me. Her eyes gave off a grateful look.

“You're the first person who’s made attempts to get to know me, and I appreciate it.” - you

“Not even your teammates?” - Joe

“I love ‘em, but they're not the Star Wars type like you are.” - you

“Yeah… I'm pretty cool like that.” - Joe

“Oh, whatever!” - you rolled your eyes

We laughed with each other before the receptionist cleared her throat. Both y/n and I froze when we realized where we were.

“Oh, sorry!” - you

“You guys can both go to room 379 if you’d like, seems like you two have a spark.” - receptionist

I rubbed the back of my neck nervously, but y/n smiled at the older lady and walked through the double doors into the building.

There weren't any words shared between us as we walked to the room, both of us were thinking about what the woman had said. Do we have a spark?

——

Ten minutes into hanging out with the sixth graders, the teacher sent y/n and me to the copy room.

“Hey, have you thought about formal?” - Joe

“What about it?” - you

Winter formal wasn't coming until December, obviously, but I felt the need to ask.

“Like are you going? Date ideas?” - Joe

“I figured I'd go, yeah. I don't know who I'm gonna go with, though. Might just go with friends, the guys here aren't the best.” - you

“Ouch.” - Joe

“Hey, I don't count you with them. You’re separate.” - you

“I think that's good.” - Joe

“It is. You're a jock, but a nice one, you know? I like you.” - you

My face dropped as I looked at her, feeling my cheeks flush and my stomach flop.

“Not in that way!” - you rushed to say

“Oh… okay.” - Joe

“Why do you act disappointed? I thought you weren't looking for anything and focusing on football.” - you

“I don't know. I thought I was, but you're making it hard to.” - Joe

“What does that mean?” - you

“I barely know you, but I can't stop thinking about you. You understand me in a way I didn't think was possible… you're just different.” - Joe

“I feel the same way about you. You're nerdy but athletic and have these quirks that I'm obsessed with. You're oddly the guy version of me.” - you

“Nah, you're the girl version of me.” - Joe

“Oh, whatever!” - you shoved his chest

I'm feeling a little bold after she told me she can't stop thinking about me either. Should I make a little move?

“You look cute when you do that. You roll your eyes at me but are smiling.” - Joe

“Oh, uh. Thanks.” - you blushed

“You're welcome.” - Joe smiled

——

October, 2014

That's as far as we went talking about it.

Nothing ever came from that one conversation we shared at the middle school. That's the closest thing we ever did that could come close to showing feelings for one another.

We just continued being really good friends who giggle in the back of the chemistry room, but the eye contact we make while I'm on the field and she’s on the sidelines tells me there's something there.

In the past two months, I've concluded that no matter how hard I try to deny it, I have a crush on y/n.

I just don't know how to act on it.

She still thinks that I don't want a relationship right now, so I need to start dropping hints.

The first step of my plan was to ask her to study with me after school, like at my house.

So, when I walked into chemistry this morning, I had that idea in the back of my head.

“Hey.” - Joe smiled

“Morning.” - you smiled back

I sat my stuff down and took my seat next to her.

“I need to ask you something.” - you

“Oh, what's that?” - Joe

“They haven't announced it yet, but I won junior attendant for homecoming.” - you

“Really?! That's awesome!” - Joe

“Yeah, thanks. We have to have a guy from the football team be our escort…” - you

“And you want me to ask someone for you?” - Joe

She looked at me with a “boy, please” look on her face that made me laugh.

“I'm just playing. I'd love to walk you.” - Joe

“Okay, good. Thanks, Joey.” - you

“Mhm. When will you find out who won Hoco Queen?” - Joe

“Not till the game, but if I win, you’ll get a little crown too.” - you

“I get a crown too?? Now you have to win.” - Joe

“I'll try my hardest. You have to help my campaign, though.” - you

“Sounds like a deal.” - Joe smiled

——

Later that week, I met up with y/n during my lunch period and her free period. I helped her campaign, and when she wasn't around, I convinced the football team to vote for her.

I wanted to make sure she'd win.

——

“Junior attendant, y/n y/l/n, escorted by Joey Burrow.”

The announcer’s voice beamed through the speakers as we walked down the middle of the football field. My arm was looped with y/n’s, and I shortened my strides with the length of her heals in mine.

I hadn't seen her till she walked out and looped her arm with mine, but she looked so beautiful.

“You look gorgeous.” - Joe whispered

“Thank you.” - you blushed

We smiled for the camera when we reached the end of the field, and y/n gently squeezed my arm when we walked over and stood in our directed spot.

“You don't look too bad yourself.” - you

Our conversation was drowning out the announcer’s voice, who was reading the short paragraph that y/n wrote a couple of days ago. She'd made me proofread it so many times that I had it practically memorized.

“y/n would like to thank her parents and friends, especially her best friend, who is escorting her tonight.”

That part was new.

My cheeks heated up when I looked down at y/n to see her already smiling at me. She'd never come out and said that I was her best friend, but I couldn't say it didn't make sense.

“Surprise.” - you nudged him

“I'm your best friend, huh?” - Joe

“Yeah.” - you smiled

“You're mine too.” - Joe

“No way!” - you pushed Joe’s chest

“Don't tell Zach I said that, though.” - Joe

Her smile was infectious, and I felt my lips mirror y/n’s expression.

The announcer went on to introduce the senior attendant and read her little background story.

“Now, ladies and gentlemen. Your 2014 football homecoming queen is…”

I reached my other hand up to squeeze y/n’s that was wrapped around my bicep.

“y/n y/l/n!”

“You did it! Go get your crown!” - Joe

She let go of my arm and walked back to the middle of the field.

I watched with a proud smile on my face as y/n was handed a bouquet, a sash draped over her shoulder, and the crown on her head.

There was so much adoration in my heart for her, and when she turned around to look at me, my smile only widened.

“C’mere!” - you mouthed

I slowly walked over to her, and y/n re-looped our arms.

Bowing my head slightly, the crown was put on top of it. y/n laughed at the sight of the crown adorning my forehead.

“Lemme fix that. It's kinda sideways.” - you

She stepped on her tiptoes and fixed it, a blush forming on my cheeks when her fingers brushed down my face when she pulled away.

“You look cute.” - you smiled

“Thanks.” - Joe grinned

——

December, 2014

“Hey.” - Joe

“Oh, hey.” - you

I put my stuff down and sat down in my chair, the same routine since the first day of school. Hopefully, though, today some things will change.

Or at least be set in the right direction to change.

“I need to ask you a question.” - Joe

“Shoot.” - you

“Be my date too formal?” - Joe

I looked at her with hopefulness in my eyes. Please say yes.

“I'm already going with Chad… sorry, Joe.” - you

“Oh. It's okay, I just thought… nevermind.” - Joe

My shoulders slumped as I turned away from her and faced the board, biting the insides of my cheeks nervously.

The one time I shoot my shot with a girl, and I get rejected.

Guess that tells me what my priorities should be.

Focusing on football.

——

“What do you mean Joe’s here alone?” - you

“Yeah, Zach had to practically beg him to even come. Joe said there wasn't any point in going since he didn't have a date.” - Cassidy

“That makes me feel terrible…” - you

“Why?” - Cassidy

“Because he asked me, but I'd already said yes to Chad.” - you

“It's not your fault, how were you supposed to know that Joe was gonna ask you? I mean, he isn't looking for anything right now.” - Cassidy

“Yeah… do you know where he is?” - you

“No idea. Probably hiding in a corner.” - Cassidy

“Chad literally ditched me after pictures. Joe never would've done that…” - you

A few seconds of silence between the two girls went by before Cassidy had a lightbulb moment.

“Do you have a crush on Joe?!” - Cassidy

“What?! No!” - you

“You so do! y/n you should tell him! I honestly think he feels the same way…” - Cassidy

“No… he's focusing on football.” - you sighed

“So you do like him?” - Cassidy

“Maybe…” - you

When you admitted it out loud, it felt real. You like Joe.

Joey Burrow, the quarterback with the nerdy side that only you knew of, the one with the imperfect but adorable smile, the one that made you look forward to first period, your crush.

“I'm gonna go find him.” - you

You walked as fast as your heels allowed you and threw your half-drank cup of subpar punch in the trash can, pushing open the gym doors as Tongue Tied by GROUPLOVE playing through the speakers served as a soundtrack.

Zach wasn't hard to find as a sea of letterman jackets was in the hallway.

“Where’s Joe?” - you

“Oh, hey, y/n! He said he was gonna go take a walk around.” - Zach shrugged

You nodded and walked away toward the academic wing of the school.

Only the generator lights were on, but there was enough lighting to make out that familiar tall frame looking into the trophy cases.

Carefully, so as to not scare him, you slowly walked up behind Joe and tapped his shoulder.

“Hi.” - you

“Hi.” - Joe

“Chad ditched me…” - you

“That sucks.” - Joe

He hadn't even looked up at you yet.

“I'm sorry. If I had known you were going to ask me, I wouldn't have said yes to him.” - you

“S’okay, probably for the better.” - Joe

“Why are you just walking around by yourself, Joe?” - you

“Nothing else to do. Kinda bored.” - Joe

“Wanna go see what teachers left their classrooms unlocked?” - you grinned

Joe’s eyes drifted away from the trophy case for the first time and found yours. A smile pulled at his lips as he nodded his head.

You held your hand out to him, and Joe gladly accepted, clasping his fingers with yours.

There were so many unspoken feelings shared between you two as you made your way down the hallways to find an open door.

“The chem room is open…” - Joe

You gently opened the door and pulled Joe in behind you, the lights being motion-activated turned on as you two walked in.

Joe flicked the light switch back off as the moonlight through the window lit up the room.

Making your way to your table, you and Joe sat down in your respective seats without sharing a word.

“Your dress is pretty.” - Joe

With a longing glance, you examined Joe’s hair, outfit, and shoes.

“Thanks. You look handsome.” - you

“Thanks.” - Joe smiled

A few seconds of silence went by before Joe cleared his throat, immediately getting your attention.

“Uhm… can I be honest with you?” - Joe

“Always.” - you

Here goes nothing.

“I think you're amazing. Talking to you every day makes me want to come to school, and I enjoy every word that's shared between us. You get to see a side of me that many people don't because I feel safe with you. I hope what I'm about to tell you doesn't ruin that, and you might just see me as a friend… but I like you.” - Joe

“In what way?” - you

In all honesty, you knew exactly what he meant, but you wanted to hear him say it.

“In the way that I find myself staring at you all the time because I think you're beautiful, In the way that you give me butterflies when you laugh or smile at me. You are incredible, y/n; gorgeous, smart, talented, crazy athletic, loyal, trustworthy.” - Joe

He paused for a second to scan your face for somewhat of a reaction.

“Now that I think about it, you're so out of my league.” - Joe laughed

“Go on, Joey.” - you giggled

“What I'm trying to say is… I have a crush on you, y/n.” - Joe

“Mr. ‘I'm focusing on football’ has a crush on me?!?” - you

Joe felt his stomach drop at your teasing. He'd just poured his heart out, and was thinking the worst.

“So you don't feel the same way?” - Joe

“What? I didn't say that!” - you

“So…?” - Joe

“I like you too, Joe. More than friends.” - you

“Really?” - Joe smiled

“Yeah.” - you grinned

You two sat there, no words shared, just tooth-rotting grins.

“I've never done this before… what happens next?” - Joe

“I think there's another question you need to ask me.” - you

“Oh, yeah! y/n…” - Joe

He took your hand in his, the size difference making your heart flutter for a second before you shifted your attention back to his beautiful blue eyes.

“Be my girlfriend?” - Joe finished

“I'd love to.” - you smiled

Somehow, your other hand found its way into his. Almost as if magnets were pulling your faces together, you both leaned in.

Your lips molded together so perfectly like you were each other’s missing piece.

Maybe because you guys were.

Joe would forever be grateful that he took the leap of faith and confessed to the girl that he swore was out of his league, for she would become his everything for the rest of his life.

That chemistry room is where you found your first real boyfriend, who would be your first kiss, and unbeknownst to you, you were Joe’s first real girlfriend and kiss as well.

In fact, you were each other’s first everything.

And you'd also be each other’s last.

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Authors note: One of my favorite requests to write, it was so fun picturing the beginning of their relationship!

Request for this fic;

Hope you enjoyed! 💕

#joe burrow #bengals #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow x reader #joey b #cincinnati bengals #joe burrow fan fic

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redflagshipwriter · 3 months

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Hot Ghouls in your area 7

masterpost

Chapter 7

…Jason slowly put down the book and turned it cover up, shell-shocked from that interaction. He lifted his phone and took a photo. He sent it to Roy.

“What do you see?” He typed. Jason bit his lower lip and tried not to scowl while he waited for a response.

It wasn’t that Jason was unused to conflict. Jason was great at conflict. He won every conflict! (Almost.) But what the hell had this shit been? Why had that guy been so pissy about the book? What the hell was wrong with the book that Jason didn’t see?

“Gibberish?” Roy texted back a few minutes later. “It gives the impression of wonky Cyrillic to me. But it's got a terrible energy to it. The hell is that?”

Jason looked at the cover. To his eyes, there was a serif font declaring it Sense and Sensibility Universe D version 5.

“Thanks,” he sent, ignoring the question and then the barrage of heart emojis. Shit, okay.

That answered one question. But it didn't answer enough. What the fuck had that college kid been seeing that was so offensive?

‘And why'd he think we would meet again?’

Jason pushed deep, deep down any awareness that he hoped it was true. That had been weird enough that it would bother him forever if he didn’t get answers.

He sort of hated the idea of getting his nosy family involved, but they would ask different and in some ways, less annoying questions than other groups he could poll. They'd know not to lie to him, at least. So he sent the picture on to the family group chat with the same question and grimly finished his tea.

The elderly proprietor came out then and noticed that her other customer was gone. She looked confused for a moment, scanning the seat to see if his book bag was still there. She picked up the cash he'd left on the table and then started stacking dishes.

‘He’s a regular,’ Jason guessed, honing in on the opportunity to learn more. He flipped the book open but held the apparently offensive cover down towards the table, out of her line of sight. He needed to know what had gone so wrong. Jason wasn’t normally the kind of person that cute college kids had beef with.

He'd never been in this café before, his intuition had just told him to duck inside.

“I think he forgot something,” Jason offered casually, pretending to just look up from his book. “Ran out real quick in a panic.”

The lady let out a soft “Ahhh,” of comprehension. “Something for his afternoon class, perhaps,” she agreed, looking a little happier.

“Yeah, it looked like he was getting ready to settle in for a long study session and then he bolted,” Jason lied, watching her underneath his lashes. He had been paying a little more attention than he ought to when the guy came in. He was Jason’s type, aside from the thing where he’d hated Jason’s face for no apparent reason-

‘No, actually, everyone I’ve ever been into hated me on sight.’

Ouch. As Jason digested that embarrassing truth, the owner continued talking.

“He does that,” she agreed, apparently not thinking it was odd at all for them to talk about the habits of another customer. “Tuesdays and Thursdays. He's a sharp cookie, did you know that?” She continued, and oh, she had halfway adopted this college kid, huh? There was warmth and a hint of pride in her tone.

Jason valiantly swallowed the snort. “He looks familiar, but I don't think we have classes together,” he fished.

“Mm, he's doing some kind of math and engineering,” the lady helpfully supplied. She gave Jason her full attention as she stood up from the table. “And you?”

“Modern language and literature,” Jason said, and sort of wished it was true. He didn't really have the time. Did he? Spoiler was a full-time student, wasn't she? …Huh.

While he chewed that over, the lady had drifted a couple steps closer.

“...Those are two meaningfully different courses?”

“Modern language is learning additional languages, I'm doing Russian and Greek right now,” Jason lied easily. He was fluent in both already. “Literature is mostly classics, for my purposes. I'm focusing on Regency Lit.”

She looked very interested, but she detoured away to deposit the dirty dishes behind the counter. They kept up a light conversation about books as she wiped off the table and reset for the next customer.

When she left, he finally had the chance to check his messages. There was a full-on fight in the group chat. The last message was from Stephanie. She had tagged him and asked, “Is this an optical illusion??? Like that dress?”

Ah, fuck. Jason felt a rock settle in his stomach at the confirmation that something hinky was going on.

‘I can’t read this in public if it’s saying something I can’t control or even know.’

Fucking hell. Jason scrolled back up and checked. Damian listed the correct title. Dick saw what, ‘I thought was Greek at first.’ Stephanie might have been joking but she argued vigorously that it was pictographs that started with a bird. Drake had sent “You rediscovered Minoan Linear A? Cool.” and then not participated in any follow-up discussions. Duke had sent only a stream of confused and tearful emojis.

Cass had marked it read.

“Fair enough, I guess,” Jason muttered to himself. Resentfully he put the book back in his bag.

What had that guy seen? If he’d just seen something foreign but illegible he wouldn’t have gotten so pissy about it. And who the hell had he been, anyway? Why was he so special?

Well. That was something to do with his afternoon. Jason paid up his bill and gave Phyllis his well-wishes for her doctor’s appointment tomorrow on the way out. Phyllis was a good contact, he would definitely come back for more of her jasmine tea no matter how mad that guy got at him.

…Jason really needed a name.

And found…

He headed to Gotham University and used the student computers to look up departments and then hack into the registrar. Jason flipped through photos until he found his guy: Danny Fenton, 19, sophomore double-major in the Engineering department. Good grades, no notes on his account about academic dishonesty or conflict.

'Little weird to meet two Dannys in a 24 hour period.'

Jason searched the guy online and found…

He let his mouth drop open in disbelief at the batshit insane website design he had stumbled into. The Fenton family had a website, apparently, and they had maybe let a 7 year old design it in 2008. The colors… The lack of centering… The.. the neon choices.

His eyes watered. It took a while to fight down his aesthetic grief and actually start comprehending the text.

He had expected this to be like, an online family newsletter. And it was! The link he had followed detailed “Danno going to college in the big city!!!” The boy himself looked extremely resigned in the attached photo. Seriously, Jason had seen much less mortified mugshots. The thing was, that on the same page, alongside posts about other kids going college (Jazzypants!) and someone called Alicia recovering from “supergout!” with "her eight favorite toes remaining!!!", there was also a lot of mention of ghosts.

Like, a lot.

Jason scrolled in pained disbelief. There were photos that showed extremely weird and dismayed green people obviously flinching away from a camera. A beautiful green woman with her hair halfway over her face snarled through a flood of smoke under the title “Wishywish Ghostie Interviewed: Learn what drives her generous heart!” and an ugly robot motherfucker was seen fleeing under the caption, “Skalker indicates that spook is a GHOST SLUR!”

….Was it a shit post? Just one long shitpost? It had to be a joke site.

Well. No. Jason buried his face in his hands and came to terms with the horrible fact that not only were ghosts real, he was accidentally married to one and this bombastic midwestern family already knew about it. This was his best lead for getting that 'beyond death do you part' separation.

They had been blasting the existence of ghosts for all the world to read, and it hadn’t been news. The Justice League didn’t know about this whole society. The journalism done by– Jason lifted his head to check– Jack Fenton interviewing clearly very unwilling ghosts was the only primary source that he knew of.

He took a few deep breaths. He came to terms with grief. He decided to block his family from any further involvement in this shitshow, for what remained of his dignity. And he grimly noted down Jack Fenton’s email.

Jason cleared this history and closed down his tabs, feeling a decade older than he had when he had entered the library. He ignored the sultry ‘come talk to me’ eye contact that the student worker was shooting him from behind the counter as he slouched out.

He stopped for a moment on top of the stairs to watch campus move. He saw the theatre building and the modern language headquarters from his vantage point, along with about half of the student center. There was just a trickle of foot traffic between buildings along paved paths. A few people were hanging out on blankets in the grass. An old man in a suit was taking a phone call next to a crawling rose garden.

‘Maybe I should go to school.’

Well. After this shit was sorted out. Obviously he could not go to school before he got divorced. It would be torturous to hang out with cute boys his age and be committed to some hot dead mermaid who didn’t even wanna make out with him sloppy. Loser shit on absolutely every level, goddamn.

Jason shoved his hands in his pockets and jogged down the stairs. He kept an eye out for Danny, but had no luck.

Not that he cared. It was interesting that he had a lead: Danny clearly had some connection to ghosts, and he had been able to read…

‘Maybe he realized it was a ghost’s property and he thought I stole it?’ Jason realized in a stroke of inspiration. That made more sense. If he knew enough to recognize it as ghost language or whatever, then he might have felt affronted about Jason having it.

He went through his mental checklist to pick out what he did and didn’t know. Once he felt he had a hang on his priorities, he beelined to his own laptop in his favorite safehouse and started looking into the Fentons in more depth.

It was a great lead. It was suspiciously good, in fact, he thought as he found Jack Fenton’s online family newsletter again. What were the odds that he would run into Danny Fenton in a cafe that Jason had never even been in before? It had been a total fluke that he’d entered. He’d been walking past to a favorite place and then just had the urge to try the dark little family cafe.

‘…Ah, fuck’, Jason sighed. More ghost shit. It had to be. Something about Danny Fenton’s ghost shit had registered to him now that he’d been exposed to ghost central.

#red hot ghouls #dp x dc #dc x dp #dead on main

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bruciemilf · 2 years

Text

,,,, russian bruce wayne

Russian Bruce Wayne

RUSSIAN BRUCE WAYNE -

Listen. Listen. Not fully compacted into something coherent, but I'll do my best, because this idea has been haunting me, -

SO he's russian on his mother's side!! Martha Wayne immigrated in America when she was a teenager, nothing to her name but hope in her chest and her mother's pearl necklace in her pocket

She always got ugly looks for speaking in her native language and her accent. Slowly, it melted into something perfectly English, but she still spoke Russian at home and especially to Bruce

Little Bruce loved Baba Yaga as a kid and dressed like her for Halloween every single year; Nobody really understood it, but a glare from Alfred was enough to fill a bag full of candy

Martha and Bruce would talk shit in front of Thomas' faux philanthropist friends, but they were on wildly different spectrums

Martha, whispering: You see that man, Brucie? He sold his soul to greed. He's a worm of a human and his morals are rotten. That's why his eyes are dead

Bruce: haha, he's balding at 25

Martha, Alfred, and Bruce cooking beef stroganoff, syriniki, borscht, and Bruce's absolute favorite- pirozhki.

Martha also played the piano and LOVED Swan Lake so, so much. It was the one song that calmed Bruce during night terrors.

When he reaches eight, it all stops.

He eventually reconnects with his Russian roots in his 20s, when he's in college and his literature teacher shares a DISRESPECTFULLY incorrect opinion about one of Dostoevsky's works.

His teacher scoffed, " Well. Didn't know we had a Russian citizen here. "

" Not a citizen, but I AM a Russian descendent. My mother was an immigrant. That's kind of how America was formed. It's a pretty significant thing that happened."

Imagine you're a Gotham criminal and Batman starts muttering things about you in Russian. Somehow that's even more intimidating than anything he does.

" I can't believe they're more afraid of someone who doesn't speak English than a guy who beats up people dressed as a bat."

Alfred hums, sloooowly pulling away the vodka cereal Bruce made. " I can't imagine why. You're the poster child for mental health, sir."

" Not funny, papachka"

" For you."

When Dick is brought into the nest, Bruce struggles a bit with showing his affections; He only has money to offer, but Dick is happily uninterested in that, and seeks Bruce out instead.

BRUCE ABSOLUTELY SPENDS AN ENTIRE NIGHT TRYING TO PERFECT HIS MOTHER'S BAKLAVA FOR DICK!!

yes he's supposed to be on patrol. No, he doesn't care, Jim. It's all worth it when Dick takes a single bite and he has stars in his eyes and vines his little but strong arms around him, " this is PERFECT! Thank you so much, dad"

Air freezes in his blood, " ... Of course, ptichka."

He absolutely uses russian proverbs all the time (mostly when his children need to be reprimanded and reminded that making jokes is illegal when they're on duty)

JASON AND BRUCE FIGHTING OVER TRANSLATIONS AND CONTEXT IN ENGLISH ADAPTATIONS OF SLAVIC LITERATURE!

" PAPI, THAT'S NOT WHAT THEY MEANT TO SAY!"

" MISKHA I'M SO GRATEFUL YOUR GRANDMA ISN'T HERE, BECAUSE SHE'D DIE AGAIN IF SHE HEARD YOU SAY THAT!"

Damian 100000% prides himself on knowing russian and communicating with Bruce the smoothest.

It becomes a competition soon enough. Bruce is SO tired but the way they butcher words is funny, so he just pretends they're right.

The League finds out when Bruce snaps and calls Hal Cyka in a low, angry mutter while stomping away from his stupidity. " ... Bless you? What did he call me?"

Diana, struggling so hard not to laugh. " He said you were a genius."

" Huh. Had no idea he was French."

Meanwhile Clark is losing HIS shit because wow, Bruce's russian might be the hottest thing he ever heard. Please, this dork would absolutely try to learn Russian and talk to Bruce more.

He's absolutely horrible with it but Bruce is just very excited. He definetly chuckles (which. Wow. Clark couldn't even make him GRIN 3 weeks ago) " You just asked me if I sleep with my dentist."

" ...Oh. I...Was trying to ask you for drinks. You can kill me right now. Please?"

" Maybe another time, solnyshko. Take me for a drink first."

Clark inhales. " oKaY thank yoU."

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libraryofgage · 11 months

Note

Please write for 42. Maybe it could be something dealing with Steve overhearing something he shouldn't have,maybe something the kids say, or Eddie says to someone. Whatever it is it makes him feel like shit. He talks to Eddie, or Robin (or both!) about how much he's changed over the past few years and how he didn't end up being the person everyone thought he'd be, but after what hes overheard he's crying because even though he did all he could he feels lonelier than ever.

Anon, I love you

Prompt 42 for this prompt list!

“Who’s laughing now?”

“…Clearly not you. You’re crying, dear God.”

I didn't use these quotes exactly, but I came close. It still fits them, though lmao

---

"I should be right back," Steve says, throwing open the van door before hopping out. The moment it closes, Eddie blasts the heavy metal he usually can't because of Steve's sensitive ears. Steve snorts with amusement and heads towards the diner, the smell of fried food and grilling beef overwhelming him the moment he opens the door.

Steve heads up to the counter, flashing a charming smile at Paula, a woman who's been working at the diner longer than Steve has been alive. "We got your usual almost ready, sugar," she tells him, returning the smile as she grabs a receipt from the turning rack and leads him over to the register.

It's a Friday night, which means the diner is bursting with teenagers hanging out in groups or trying to have a romantic date. Steve doesn't usually see anyone he feels like greeting when he picks up food, but a quick sweep this time reveals a table where Jonathan, Argyle, Nancy, Mike, and Will are sitting. Their table is close to the bar, but none of them seem to have noticed Steve because of their conversation, which is just fine with him.

If he gets dragged into a conversation, he might take too long and make Eddie worry. And if Eddie worries, he'll come bursting into the diner, and there are too many people in here that still blame him for...well, everything, for that to be safe.

"Your total is gonna be $12.93," Paula says, watching as Steve distractedly pulls a twenty from his wallet.

"Keep the change. I'll be waiting over there," he says, nodding to a bar stool somewhat close to where his friends are sitting. He then slides into said stool, leaning on the counter and trying to ignore how sticky it is.

He's close enough now to hear the tail-end of Argyle saying, "--eems like such a nice dude, though."

Mike snorts at him. "You didn't know Steve when he was dating Nancy," he points out.

Oh. They're...talking about him. Steve gets the feeling he should walk away, but he also feels stuck in the stool.

"He wasn't that bad," Nancy says. Silence follows her words, and Steve can imagine the looks she's getting. "Okay, yeah, he was an asshole."

"He smashed my camera," Jonathan says, and Steve wonders if he's imagining a trace of bitterness in his voice.

Here's the thing: Steve apologized for smashing the camera (though, he feels it was still justified) and got Jonathan a new one. A fancy, new one. But it doesn't sound like Jonathan is going to include that detail, too.

"He's a lot better now, though," Will says, and Steve wants to get him a new set of dice for trying to stick up for him.

He then wants to cry and maybe break something when he hears Jonathan and Mike snort and bark out a short laugh.

Steve feels himself grow tense as Nancy and Jonathan regale Argyle with how shitty he was in high school. He keeps waiting for one of the kids to refute or bring up how he's changed, but Mike only adds to it all while Will stays quiet, probably unwilling to get himself laughed at again (not that Steve blames him, honestly).

None of them actually point out how Steve's changed. They laugh at how much of a douchebag he was in high school, and Jonathan tells Argyle to "watch out for King Steve coming through" now that nothing is trying to kill them again.

And Steve feels sick to his stomach. Has...has he not actually changed? Is he really the same King Steve he was in high school? Is he still that asshole who didn't give a shit about others because he was just trying to survive himself, no matter who it hurt? Is this how everyone sees him?

"All right, sugar. Here's your cheeseburgers," Paula says, placing a bag in front of him and jerking him out of his thoughts. "One without tomato but with extra ketchup, and the other with grilled onions."

Steve blinks and smiles at Paula again. "Thanks. Same time next week?"

He waits to see Paula's amused smile and playfully dismissive wave before grabbing the bag and practically running out of the restaurant. He doesn't know if it's good or bad that nobody at the table seems to have noticed his presence or departure.

Steve jerks the door to the van open, not waiting for Eddie to turn the music down before hopping in and slamming it shut. He silently pulls on his seatbelt, holds the food in his lap, and stares at the glove compartment.

"Uh, you okay, Stevie?" Eddie asks, his hand lingering on the volume dial.

"I don't wanna talk about it here," Steve says. Because he's going to talk about it with Eddie, the only other person he trusts to be honest with him is Robin. But this is date night for him and Eddie, and even when he's drowning in self-doubt, Steve doesn't want anyone else to interrupt their date night.

Thankfully, Eddie just nods. "Okay, sweetheart," he says, pulling out of the parking lot and onto the road.

Steve doesn't say a word the whole drive, too consumed by forcing himself to focus on Eddie's hand on his thigh. There's a warmth that he feels through the fabric, grounding him and keeping his brain from spiraling too far.

When they finally park (a secluded area close enough to the local make-out spot to still see the romantic stars in the sky without getting caught by anyone else) Eddie turns to Steve and softly asks, "Wanna move to the back, sweetheart?"

Steve grips the bag in his lap tighter, takes a deep breath, and looks at Eddie. He feels a little bad for ignoring the question, but he can't help his worries and fears bubbling out now that they've stopped driving. "I've changed, right? Since high school?"

Eddie blinks, caught off guard by the sudden question. But then he nods. "Yeah, Stevie, you've definitely changed."

"Jonathan and Nancy were in the diner with Argyle, Mike, and Will," Steve says, trying and failing to seem more nonchalant by unbuckling himself and moving to the couch that barely fits in the back of the van. Eddie follows, sitting closer than necessary to eat the burger Steve hands to him. "They were...talking about me. High school me. King Steve. And Jonathan told Argyle to be wary of me. Do they really think I'm the same person?"

"Stevie-"

Steve doesn't let Eddie get far. He's too wrapped up in what happened, too consumed by self-doubt and guilt and the wish that he'd said something to them. His chest feels tight, he feels like the world is going to cave in on him, and the only thing keeping him steady is the way Eddie puts down his burger and pulls Steve into his lap. "And the worst part is that they were laughing. Will tried saying that I was better now, and they fucking laughed. Like it was ridiculous. Like I could never change.

"And I just....I wish I'd said something. I could have ruined their night so fucking easily, Eds. I could have turned around and asked if they always talked shit behind the backs of people who saved them. I could have asked if Jonathan didn't like the replacement camera I got him, or if he still used it to sneak photos of Nancy."

"Is that why you broke his camera? Fuck, I don't blame you."

Steve manages a slight smile for Eddie. "Thanks. I...I don't know. For all I've changed, it would have been so easy to just turn around and be who they thought I still was. And then I would've torn them down to the size of ants. And...and...I wish I had but I don't but I do, so I could've ended it with who's laughing now?"

Steve's chest feels a little looser, and that's a fucking relief, but then he feels Eddie's hand cradling his cheek. "Well, it's definitely not you, sweetheart. Your crying."

Oh. Eddie is right. He is crying. Steve hastily wipes at the tears before just giving up and leaning into Eddie's touch. "Sorry," he mumbles.

"Don't apologize. I almost wish you had done it. And that I'd been there to see it."

"No, you don’t."

Eddie grins, pulling Steve closer so they're chest-to-chest, heart-to-heart. "Yeah, I do. I love when you get bitchy, sweetheart. Especially when it means we can be bitchy together."

Steve blinks, and he can't help laughing. The words were simple, but they still managed to erase all the doubt and some of the hurt. He still probably needs a few days before he can actually look at Jonathan or Nancy or Mike again, but he doesn't feel so immediately devastated.

"Somehow, that was the perfect thing to say," he tells Eddie, closing the distance between them to kiss his lips, getting a hint of ketchup on his tongue.

"Perfect enough to earn me some fun?" Eddie asks, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

Steve sighs dramatically, pretends to think about it as he actually laments that their burgers will get cold, and then pushes Eddie down on the couch.

#steddie #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve harrington angst #steddie fluff #established steddie #prompt list #my writing #i hope you like it anon!

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

Note

WIBTA if I asked my mom to stop keto-fying recipes?

this is either gonna be a complete non-issue or get people mad at me, i can tell lmao. unfortunately this has been bugging me for weeks. :D

To be clear, I'm almost 25, but I and my adult/teenage siblings still live with my parents bc the economy is ass. Also, Mom hasn't been doing it to every recipe…yet…but the ones she has changed have been recipes where a carbohydrate is an important part of the main meal.

For instance, replacing the potatos in a beef-carrot-potato stew with a rutabaga.

Mom's been on a modified keto diet for a while now, and while Dad is the only one intentionally doing it with her, the rest of us are aware of her diet and are generally chill about it. For a while, we would have nights where the parents would have Thing A, which was diet-compliant, and the rest of us would have Thing B, which was not. Those of us who are not dieting are all old enough to make things for ourselves, by the way, and that's usually what happens. For most of these "split meals," one parent usually doesn't wind up cooking two meals, one of which they can't even eat.

The stew is usually a "split" meal that gets made by one person who does most of the prep just by virtue of knowing the recipe, then one person who peels and chops the potatoes, and then one who wrangles the peeling and chopping of the rutabaga. The rutabaga then gets combined with a proportionate amount of The Rest, and those of us who aren't dieting are welcome to taste-test it. I've tried it, and the rutabaga's okay, I guess, but quite a bit too sweet and non-safe-food-y for me in the context of the stew, especially when I'm so used to potatoes. Wrangling the rutabaga is a bit more fun than eating it.

…except the most recent time we had the stew, Mom and Dad made an executive decision and just made a full-family pot of rutabaga stew without really seeing if everyone else was on board with it. Two of my siblings seemed fine with it, one is an enigma on a good day so I don't even know how they felt about it, and I hated it. I didn't get the chance to say so, however, between everyone else complimenting the altered stew and the conversation quickly switching to something else.

Unfortunately, our parents have decided that we will be making the stew with rutabagas only going forward.

Not "the family has decided."

The parents have decided. For adults and a teenager. Not for little kids.

Since then, in other conversations where recipes come up, such as conversations about the teenager's recent baking kick, Mom has been mentioning keto versions of whatever's being talked about in the nonspecific way that I'm pretty sure is her hinting/telling us that we should make it. In the context of teen baking, a keto chocolate cake, or keto cookies.

Look, I'm not here to debate the worth of a diet or lack thereof. I have plenty of those opinions and I'm not going to change them or let them distract from the core of the matter: when any of us are making food for the others, why are we letting two people's diets dictate what the rest of us should eat? If we're making something specifically to align with the keto diet, then that's a parent snack/meal. If we're not, it's a "kids" snack/meal. It should be as simple as that. Why make a full-family-sized meal if it's going to be pushing low/no carbs onto people who, historically, have not wanted to or needed to drop carbs? (It's me, I'm people. I know, I'm not really subtle, am I?)

I'm considering, the next time the stew comes up as a dinner plan, asking what a single-sized portion of the potatoes would be and just making it for myself. Given I have the spoons to do so that night, anyway. However, I really don't want to insult Mom's family recipe (which…she's already altered…and I would be reverting to its previous state…) or her cooking skills (which haven't lessened, even if I personally think her ingredient choices are a bit lacking lately).

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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writingoddess1125 · 7 months

Text

The Canary

Me and stupid shit again

Support on Ko-Fi, I'm poor

"Ah, 50k in debt for a linguistic degree you didnt get while working at a grocery store- Can't get any better then that!"

You had said that morning- Your sarcasm rolling off your tongue like a goddammit curse as you headed off to work.

And yet here you are now...

Your ass tied up on the floor of the grocery store while men armed to the teeth walked around talking- you felt oddly fortunate however, these guys were clearly grunts at the bottom of the food chain in terms of 'bad guys' hell they were speaking a language you had studied so you could pick up what they were saying as well.

You had been in the meat section when the explosion went off- The cow statue having saved your ass from being turned into a tube of ground beef, but now you were a hostage..

Greaattt.

"Hamil told us we needed the hostages, 6 of them exactly for this while they set up the explosives down the block.. we just gotta wait for the signal" The man said in the different language. You taking mental note of this-

You spot a little girl and her mother among your fellow hostages, your heart breaking at rhe sight as you saw the man approach her. Her mother clearly trying to undo her child's rope and get her to slip away down the aisle. However pausing when one of the men approached her and the girl.

"Hamil said Makarov gave us the clear so we could do as we pleased as we wait right?" The man said, one of his peers rolling his eyes in disgust and calling him dirty.

"Whatever we got some time to kill" He grumbled, beginning to undo his belt as he grabbed the screaming mother who was trying to shield her daughter away from the possible assault. You sitting up fully at this point and your brain going on autopilot.

"Woah Woah Woah Man! Got that weak of game you have to rape some Mom now?!" You yelled, the man pausing his actions. Tossing the sobbing women away from him and marching to you angrily fixing his belt-

"What did you say?" He hissed angrily flashing his gun at you. "I'll fuck your mother how about that-"

He said angrily, You took note of all the men now staring at you and not at the other hostages- Keeping them distracted... maybe enough for the little girl to slip away?

"I've already fucked your mom asshole- I have her saved as slip and slide on my phone" You say with a crooked grin- A few of the men snickering at your joke, Oh Fuck Yeah!

"What did you say!? Do you not see the situation you're in now?" He growled.

"Aww can't take a joke big guy? Come one gotta lighten it up somehow-" You see in your peripherals the girl slipping away as you chattered.

"Got a big mouth huh? Why don't we put it to use?" He chimed, you really wanting to turn this guy away from molesting you or anyone else.

"Listen it would be a waste of space- like if you throw a hotdog in a cave" You chimed, smiling as he looked ready to rip you apart but instead punched you across the face. OWWW!!

"Is it BDSM tuesday?.. Eh not doing it for me though big guy maybe rub your nipples and give me a wink?" You say, His friend who had called his dirty giving a hearty laugh at this.

The man glared down at you and spit in your face, clearly wanting to kill you in some way but needed you and the others for their plan. You pretended to taste it like a fine wine, Looking him in the eye.

"Oh?~ Cock flavored spit?- New Age?" You chimed making the man face red as a tomato in rage as his mate to the left laughed.

"Was this a little self yoga or did Unicorn overthrew give a hand?"

He smacked you with his pistol making you cry out-

Fuck that hurt!!

You defiently had a cracked bone somewhere in your face and the fresh taste of blood in your mouth didn't exactly help those feelings.

"Say something smart now!" He yelled angrily.

"A pistol whip!? What is this 1995? Give your balls a tug you tit fucker! Or are they so shriveled up you can't grab them?" You say with a smile, the man grabbing your collar and pressing the gun to your temple.

"I no longer care what Hamil wants! I'm killing this little bastard!" He screamed, you wincing at his breath.

"You can't! I don't want Makarov on my ass!" His peer yelled ready to pry him off you.

"Just put a sock in their mouth or something if they are bitching that much!"

"Well if you're gonna kill me so close a breath mint would be nice? You do realize Tiktacs aren't just a penis size right?" You chuckle nervously, you eyes catching a shadow moving behind the men now all staring at you. Their backs turned to the shadows.

"You know what- I'll shut up after one last joke? Eh?" You say nervously, The man yous been tormenting cocking his gun- you see a man silently stalk out, a skull mask covering his face as 4 others moved in perfect formation behind him.

"No more fucking jokes!" He yells, rage in his eyes.

"Okay- But I tried" You say cheerfully before closing your eyes. In seconds gunfire went off around you and quick screams surrounded you.

"Clear!" You hear sounded as you crack open your eye to take a peak.

"Holy fuck-" You sigh out and give a nervous laugh. Looking at the dead men now littering the ground as the soilders file into the area quickly-

The guy in the skullmask- The one who you spotted getting into position behind the guys comes to you and undoes the rope around your wrist in record time as the other men do the same to your fellow hostages.

"A medic will be here soon to check over your injuries" He said in a surprisingly deep voice- accident not lost on your either. He reached a hand down to either help you up or pick you up to extract you from the area.

You grab the man's vest quickly to stop him before he could, He stares at you hard in confusion.

"Listen, Those guys said that there were bombs down the block and were waiting for a signal. They have others- I can understand them and thwy said they followed someone name Hamil who talks to Makarov... I-Im a linguists and um.. can understand them" You say quickly, The masked man narrows his eyes at this and speaks into a radio on his side.

"We have info that more bombs are down the block- Scout the area and evacuate further" he said as he went back to helping you up. A quick thanks leaving your lips as you pulled off your work hoodie and passed it to the mother to cover her up.

The men escorting you out of the grocery store.

"Got to say, never seen a Canary get the best of those guys-" The Mohawk guy said with a smirk on his face, supporting a old man who clearly had a broken foot.

"Gotta use my gifts somehow- and Canary?" You shot back,

"Always fuckin' churpin" He said with a smile. A laugh now coming from you as you nod. Once outside the medics quickly swarmed all of you and prepared to take you all to the hospital.

You spot the masked guy again- Giving him a head nod. "Thank you Mr. Spooky!" You call out rather loudly- earning a amused glare from the man who rolled his eyes.

"....Your quips- Were... quite amusing.." He said calmly, You looking at the hardened man with a smile on your busted face- The others in his little boy band also cracking some smirks as they walked off finishing their jobs- which you assumed was down the block.

You give a bow of your head in a mildly dramatic flare. Wanting a shot and a nap at this point as the

"Glad my show went well"

Bonus!

- The little girl got out and went to the police that were waiting outside- explaining what you were doing and immediately getting checked over by medica

- TK141 had actually gotten to your location a little earlier then when you saw. However Soap had to stop everyone since he almost fell out at the cock flavored spit take.

- The whole team had been laughing on the inside or holding back laughter the whole time they heard you chirping at the men holding you hostage.

- The Nickname 'Mr. Spooky' will follow poor Ghost for the next few months-

#x reader #call of duty thoughts #call of duty ww2 #call of duty mw3 #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #ghost cod #cod price #cod ghost #soap cod #cod mwii #cod x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley

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thatseitagremlin · 1 month

Text

gremlyn's danganronpa: despair time x limbus company au: hell's chicken edition (in which arei is also the ultimate conflict escalator)

the number of students who canonically can cook is actually rather high, but with 17 of these bastards running around there's bound to be Multiple incidents... (more yapping under cut!)

drdt cast's canon cooking abilities notes: -) has cooked in-universe: eden (ch1e3 baking + ch2e1 breakfast), hu (ch1e5 dinner), levi (ch2e1 breakfast), nico & veronika (ch2e3 breakfast), charles (ch2e4 cucumber flowers... do they count?? but he can cook eggs by ch2e8 so i'm putting him here) -) implied that they can cook: min (ch1e3 baking; afaik eden does most of the steps but she was there for the scene and understands the processes so i'll just put her here), rose (ch1e3 baking + ch2e6 lunch: "i was apparently supposed to help cook this meal"), j (ch2e1: "...the last thing i feel like doing is cooking"), arei (ch2e1: "but i also don't want to cook. what to do...") -) stated in qnas: whit (best cook in the cast, specialty is french), david (can cook decently but is usually too lazy to), xander (has a weak sense of taste and compensates by adding in Too much flavor, so his food is inedible to everyone else) -) disaster in the kitchen: teruko (ch1e1 investigation + ch1e5 dinner uses this exact wording, but i assume this mostly pertains to her bad luck fucking up electronics since she makes her own food throughout ch2) -) unknown: ace, arturo (afaik these two's cooking ability have never been mentioned so far!), mai (we barely know anything about her. so)

i split up all 16 sinners (replacing whit with mai, since arei banned him from the competition) into four teams of 4. i initially tried randomizing it while sticking to my personal rules of "xander and arei in different teams", "arei and eden in the same team (so they can cook together once before arei's character development)", and "hu in the same team with a 'sabotager' so she doesn't win", but i eventually decided to just make the teams manually. in-universe you can see this as arei rigging the votes.

this didn't end up as chaotic as canon limbus, but i guess that's what happens when most of your cast can canonically cook, so you have to provoke them to beefing with each other...

-) team 1: xander, ace, j, david. there was not enough common sense to counter xander's tastebuds and he learned absolutely nothing. sad! -) team 2: arei, levi, nico, eden. there was not enough hater energy to counter arei's sabotage. also arei had fun even disregarding all the sabotage she did but she won't admit that (yet) -) team 3: rose, arturo, veronika, mai. it's less "food" and more "abstract art piece" that horrifies their poor client, inflicting 10 sinking potency and 8 sinking count -) team 4: charles, min, teruko, hu. with hu's guidance they actually made a really good "family restaurant"-style chicken dish. the ones where it's a big portion for a family to share. they try to get teruko to carry the dish but min realizes and stops teruko from touching the plate. Unfortunately teruko's luck kicks in and min ends up dropping the dish anyways -) won by default: mai secretly let whit in team 3's kitchen and let him cook a backup dish just in case every team fucked up. papa bongy accepts the dish and they eventually un-distort him, making him mvp of the mission and winner by default!

#gremlynposting #ingin menjadi illustrator namun enggan menggambar #danganronpa despair time #drdt #xander matthews #teruko tawaki #j rosales #ace markey #min jeung #veronika grebenshchikova #david chiem #arei nageishi #whit young #everyone else is mentioned in the yapping but i won't tag them since this was. meant to be an art post #that is Hopefully understandable with the little context i wrote on the top?#whatever. silly guys in a self-imposed cooking contest. thats all you need to know!! yaaaaay!#also testing how i want to make “comics”

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chefkids · 2 months

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what do you think is going to happen to ebraheim in s3 :(

Grief and loss is a big part of the series with the loss of Mikey obviously, Sydney's mom, and now Marcus' mom, but we don't talk enough about Ebra who objectively has had it worst and seen horrific things. Everyone loves to talk about how Carmy is so traumatized, but Ebra literally lived through a Civil War.

He is a refugee from Somalia, we've seen him share little bits of information about his past, like his family meal suqaar, or when they were talking about forming a brigade he mentioned his time being in a brigade during the Somali Civil War. In Review when he's helping Richie after he got stabbed, he tells him the story of Black Hawk down battle of Mogadishu.

He definitely has some level of PTSD, he didn't want to wear a uniform at culinary school, and Tina had to reassure him that it "was not that kind of uniform" and then when she said there were a lot of Sydney's in culinary school he told her "Don't look them in the eyes." But honestly seems to handle things pretty well and is generally unphased by the chaos of the kitchen. Carmy clearly also has some PTSD from his traumatic upbringing that makes him panic, and I think they both find comfort in the kitchen but in different ways. Ebra enjoys the chaos and loudness while Carmy is about the perfectionism and order.

He was also arguably one of the nicer people to Sydney from the start and respected her quickly, I think because she reminded him of Tina in a way with how assertive she is but still looks out for people. He's also a feminist icon. He also knew they needed help and Carmy wasn't cutting it. He quickly saw the good in her by how she was giving confidence to Marcus. He was the one reading the review and being excited for Sydney and for The Beef getting positive recognition. He was happy to see it change for the better because he cares a lot about The Beef.

But seeing turn into something completely different and riskier with The Bear is scary for him and he didn't really feel like he was changing with the place and felt like he was getting left behind. He was very close with Mikey and worked there for decades, so hopefully we see them together in Mikey's flashbacks. He was also very worried about Carmy messing up the place and the system. I'm sure we'll get more Tina Ebra shenanigans, I think Ebra is a bit of enigma who is always going to be throwing in random bits of his dark lore. He's going to be in charge of the sandwich window in the back when it opens. He was the only one still wearing The Beef uniform, he's an embodiment of the past. But it's not just The Beef that is changing, the entire neighborhood is. I think the window in the back and the main kitchen are going to kind of battle it out. The Beef already has an established clientele and regulars, which are quite a different demographic than the people who are likely to dine at The Bear and it's going to be interesting to see how they all fit in together in Season 3.

#the bear #ebra the bear #the bear meta #the bear fx #carmen berzatto #sydney adamu #tina marrero

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radvelvetcakez · 3 months

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Hazbin Swap AU (PT2 ig???)

ok i need to share my ideas right now. Chaggie is real. Chaggie will always be real. - During an extermination, Charlie got injured attempting to protect a sinner, only being spared when the exorcist clocked her as the princess - Vaggie, an exorcist, found her hiding and caring for her wounds, she didn't recognise her as the literal princess, but she couldnt help but feel guilty and chose to help her. She was never caught by the other angels, meaning she was blessed enough to keep her eye and wings!!!! She stayed in hell tho cause love at first sight and lalallala yeah. Sapphics guys !!!! Husk, Niffty, & Angel take the place of the Vee's - they're that overlord trio. They're probably a bit more.. Merciful (except for Niffty she's deranged) but yk. Still inherently bad people n stuff Vox is the first hotel resident - except he & Alastor still have beef. He only showed up so he could do the exact opposite of proving the hotel to work as a big fuck you. Alastor does NOT want him there but he's their only guest so he kind of has to just accept it - he acts all friendly because he knows it pisses Vox off OVERLORD VAGGIE !!!! Charlie & Vaggie basically co-own souls - when Charlie says they share EVERYTHING she means EVERYTHING. Charlie already owned a lot of souls before meeting Vaggie, because, you know, she actually better embodies the whole "princess of hell" in this, and when they got together she was IMMEDIATELY LIKE "Vaggie I have a GENIUS idea. Since we're like girlfriends and stuff we should totes share like EVERYTHING so do you want to like - co-own all the souls I have?" And so Vaggie rose to power fairly quickly. Dating the princess of hell does wonders man Obviously. Alastor is the one starting the hotel, and Rosie is like. His Vaggie basically, she's there for moral support. - Also, unlike canon.. Rosie would be the one who doesn't know who Charlie is (where Angel didn't know about Alastor) Alastor: "Rosie! The... Princess of Hell is at the dooor..." Rosie: "Who?" Vox: "WHAT?" Charlie shows up cause her dad sends her a call about having to go see heaven in a weeks time and she REALLLYYY doesn't wanna go because ouhhh last time she talked to Adam he was an ASSHOLE and she would rather kill herself than talk to him again - so when she finds out about the hotel her immediate reaction is to head there and see if they'd rather take on the burden of seeing heaven. Cause you know, surely they'd love to get heaven behind their whole redemption shit, right???? They arent. Alastor is not at all interested in talking to heaven but Charlie really isn't having it and girl is BEGGING him to just take the offer because she PROMISES they'll be on it - the few silent threats she added are nobodies business chat.. Adam lowkey fucks w the idea of sinners being redeemed but he's also just too stubborn and prideful to agree and hes also mad he didn't come up w it first so he tells Al to FUCK OFF bc his idea is so stupid :// (Its genius and he refuses to admit it.) I need to include all the Vee's for the sake of my mental health so. - Valentino works for Angel Dust (wow. shocker so original /s) & when the little group finds out that THE princess of hell is helping some nobody overlord like Alastor they are just ??? and sent Val in to see what the FUCK is wrong with the girl. And what theyre getting up to - Charlie drags Velvette & Pentious in by the hair to work at the hotel - She met Pentious when he was in a bad situation and offered to help him in exchange for his soul - despite this, she didn't really use her ownership of his soul to her advantage and they became friends :3 He's happy to help - Velvette sold her soul to Vaggie for protection from the princess's very own guardian angel because she kept getting into shit with overlords and needed to save her ass. & again, Chaggie co-own souls

#hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #hazbin hotel velvette #the vees #hazbin hotel vox #husk hazbin hotel #angel dust hazbin hotel #valentino hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel rosie #niffty hazbin hotel #sir pentious hazbin hotel #role swap au #hazbin swap au #au #hazbin hotel au

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archangeldyke-all · 4 months

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Hi baby, Im super like not myself lately and my writing has been suffering for it (I haven't touched my laptop since last week 🫠). Just wanted to pop in, say hi, I love you and I'm gonna be lurking and rereading fics on your page tonight for my own personal comfort. Also whenever you feel like it, I've been thinking about black vamp reader and sev going out for their first hunt together, that's all 🥺🥲 Kisses if you want them ladybug 😚

marsssss a million kisses for you baby i'm sorry you're in a funk <3. i love you so so so much i hope you feel better soon! also, yes, lets do it!

disclaimer!! i'm white-- so i'll try to make it an obviously black reader-- but if i make any mistakes just lmk and i'll change it asap!!

men and minors dni

sevika's nervous-- you can tell.

she hasn't let go of your hand since you arrived, and each time someone walks beside your hiding spot-- a dark little alcove in the alley behind a bar-- she gasps.

you squeeze her hand. "relax." you whisper. she huffs.

"can't we just eat more rats for a while?" she asks. you giggle.

"do you want to eat more rats?" you ask. she hums.

it took her a while to adjust to her new life as a vampire. she loves flying-- and even now, a month in to her transformation, she still giggles every time her feet leave the floor.

she's got beef with your little bat friend now that she can understand it-- and the feeling seems to be mutual, since he's always lunging at sevika and making her scream when he comes to visit you. they're both jealous-- possessive of you and your attention. you think it's cute.

when it comes to feeding though, sevika's still a little hesitant.

it's not the killing that puts her off-- hell, she does that anyways.

it's just that sevika became familiar with feeding with you, her acting as the blood bag. she thinks of it as something inherently intimate-- something that's meant to bond two people, something vulnerable.

and while it can be that, most of the time it's much more brutal and much less sexy-- and sevika's had some trouble wrapping her head around it.

but you've gotten tired of draining rats with her-- you miss the full bodied taste of human blood. and she's not really a fan either-- the fur tickles her too much for it to be enjoyable.

which leads you to now.

"what about him?" sevika asks as a drunk man stumbles by your hiding spot. you snort.

"he's not drunk enough." you say. sevika huffs.

"how long do we have to wait?" she whines, tugging your hand in hers. you giggle and press a kiss to her cheek. she relaxes at the press of your lips on her skin.

"as long as it takes, babe." you say. she sighs.

"you didn't tell me being a vampire would be so boring." she groans. you giggle.

"i did, actually." you say. sevika pouts. "c'mon, you don't have any enemies you wanna drain?" you ask. sevika huffs.

"i already told you! i don't have enemies-- at least not for long. i took care of 'em all already." she says, pouting again. you snort.

"so we're stuck here until you make a new one or someone comes stumbling by wasted." you say. she sighs. you kiss her to placate her again, and she hums against your lips. "it's not all bad." you remind her. "i never had a companion with me on my hunts-- this is fun."

"oh, have i been demoted to companion now?" she asks, glaring at you. you giggle.

"well, i don't see a ring on my finger." you say, teasingly wagging your fingers in front of sevika's face. she growls.

"you proposed to me! i don't need to get you a ring!" she cries. you laugh, reaching forward to fiddle with the ring that you pushed on her finger a month ago.

"i'm just saying-- until we say our 'i do's, legally, you're just my roommate."

"you're the one who won't let me take you to the courthouse--"

"they're up top and only open in the daytime! we can't get burnt on our wedding day sev!"

she grumbles, and you lean forward to kiss her again. she sighs against your mouth, wrapping her arms around your waist and pulling you against her body. you run your hands through her hair and tug, pulling a moan out of her.

just when she starts shoving a thigh between your legs, something down the alleyway clatters. you both look up and watch as a burly man doubles over and vomits behind a dumpster.

"hmm." you say, licking your lips as you examine the man. he's big enough for you to both get a decent drink from him, and drunk enough that he won't remember it in the morning. sevika nudges you.

"him?" she asks. you shrug.

"dunno. it's your first hunt, you tell me." you say.

you watch as sevika's eyes flit up and down the barfing man, her pupils widening and her tongue coming out to lick her lips in hunger.

"he... he's pretty drunk." she says. you nod.

"blacked out, probably." you say. she bites her lip. "can you smell him?" you ask. sevika sniffs the air, and her stomach rumbles. you giggle.

"f-fuck." she whispers.

"better than rats, right?"

"way better." she whispers.

"so?"

"i think it's him." she says, nodding at you. you smile.

"you wanna take the lead or just watch on your first hunt?" you ask. sevika shrugs.

"you go first-- i wanna see you in action." she says. you smile, kiss her cheek, then duck out of the alcove.

instinct takes over pretty quick. in a flash, you're in the air and flying over toward the man. you wait for the perfect moment, when he stands back up from vomiting, and then move in a flash.

your hand clamps over his mouth and your limbs wrap around his torso as you sink your teeth into his thoat from behind.

there's a muffled gasp and then a bit of a fight, but in a few seconds, he goes limp and falls to the pavement below him. you take a few big gulps from his artery, then pull off his neck and look over to where your fiance is watching you from her hiding spot.

"c'mere!" you call. she slowly walks over.

"'s a lot more scary when you're not doing it to me." she says. you chuckle.

"yeah, well, i wasn't as gentle and loving with him as i am with you." you say as sevika kneels on the other side of the man between you. you gesture at him. "go ahead." you encourage her.

sevika licks her lips as she looks down at the man beneath her, and then she leans down, lines her teeth up to the puncture wounds you'd left in his throat, and starts drinking.

"fuck." you whisper. she hums and looks up at you from where she's drinking, groaning at the taste. "that's so hot." you say. sevika laughs through her nose.

the blood in your body is filling you with strength and magic, and something warm starts bubbling in your stomach as you watch sevika drink from the holes you'd made in your victims neck.

it's hypnotizing. her throat bobs with each sip, there's a sweet furrow in her brow, and the little hums and grunts she lets out with each sip are incredibly tantalizing.

she's still new to it, and she's incredibly messy as she drinks. blood's covering her chin and cheeks, dripping slowly down her throat, and when she pulls away from him with a gasp, you nearly cum in your pants at the sight of your lover grinning and satisfied and covered in blood.

you launch yourself over the man between the two of you and tackle sevika to the pavement. she grunts as she lands, but quickly starts to laugh as you start licking up the blood covering her skin and grinding down against her thighs.

"fuck." you grunt. "you're so fucking hot." you whine.

"shit, i feel so..."

"warm?"

"yeah." she says, giggling-- a little high from the euphoria of finally drinking human blood. you grin then press your lips against hers. after a minute of making out, sevika pulls away with a gasp. "i want you." she says. you moan.

"you can have me."

sevika pushes you off of her then drags the two of you back into your hiding spot, quickly pushing both of your shirts under your armpits and pulling your pants down to your knees.

it's clumsy and messy and sticky with blood, but neither of you care as you grope and lick and kiss one another anywhere you can reach.

you're both high on blood, giggling and euphoric as you clumsily collide. it's a blur of brown skin on brown skin-- blood on fingertips and spit on lips as you grind and grope each other mindlessly.

you cum together, gasping against each other's mouths and shivering in each other's hands, and when you catch your breath, the first thing you say is "oh, i fucking love you."

sevika huffs and smiles, pressing another kiss to your lips.

"i love you too." she says, laughing. "i'm glad we still fuck after eating-- i was sad to let that go when you turned me." she says. you giggle.

"not regretting it after your first real feed?" you ask, tugging your pants back up over your ass and helping sevika button her own. she scoffs.

"hell no-- that was amazing. does it always taste that good?" she asks. you smirk and nod.

"of course, he's got nothing on your blood-- but i think that was more of a love thing than a taste thing." you say. sevika giggles.

"fuck off-- i taste amazing."

you grin. "yeah, you do." you say, shoving your thigh against her cunt. she gasps, then giggles.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki @emiliabby

#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika #sevika smut

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frociaggine · 7 months

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@takiki16 tags on my post are too good not to be shared! The context is wild shit that legit happened in IRL football ⚽ that I need the Ted Lasso fandom to be aware of, because it'd make for excellent fic material:

the MANAGERS #the PERSONAL DRAMA#I KNOW that ted lasso is not designed to be an actual realistic show #I KNOW that this whole thing did in fact begin as a way to soft trap Americans into watching the Prem #to the point that JOSE FUCKING MOURINHO ACTUALLY HAD A PART IN THE ORIGINAL NBC AD #I do NOT want to change the vibe of the show at all #(but like…a dramedy about the EPL that REALLY wanted to roast some fuckers would perhaps…NOT look like ted lasso #if they wanted to start with the managers it would just be two middle aged idiots with BOILING beef #who had to be physically restrained from throwing hands every other game and have personally destroyed each others’ marriages

Okay WHO would Roy have managerial beef with. I vote Arteta. Actually as @elizabear suggests, it's funnier if it's one sided

He would also instinctively dislike Rob Edwards of Luton because Jamie once said he's the hottest manager in the EPL. Roy's annoyed and he doesn't know why. (Rob Edwards is very hot)

For an example of managers throwing hands... the Tuchel/Conte handshake

In fact here's a whole compilation of managers throwing hands.

Thank you for bringing up Mourinho! This is his ad, btw. "What do you WANT Ted?" lives in my mind rent-free

youtube

After much soul-searching I've decided Roy likes Mou a lot among all the managers he's played for. YES, he is a total cunt BUT

he's really fucking funny about it. Like, really.

he's never met a referee he didn't have beef with but most of all Anthony Taylor (as a Roma fan I have to agree with him on that)

the entire 2005 Chelsea team would've died for him. I've said this before, but there can't be a Frank Lampard in TL if Roy plays the box-to-box midfielder role, so this quote about Mourinho walking into Lampard naked in the shower to give him a pep talk? That's Roy. To me.

I can't even pick a quote among all the shit he's said about all the managers he's played against, but I especially enjoy when he used to be a bitch about Pep and Pep was like "I don't know her." It was like a one-sided crush dating back from their Barca days

#if they wanted it to be about the players the literal sky is the limit. WHATEVER the writers room can come up with#it cannot come CLOSE to the batshit drama that real Sockckckckcer Playahs have amongst each other#also intricate rituals. NOT ENOUGH INTRICATE RITUALS#when Jamie scored that free kick after getting permission to be a prick Dani should have kissed him with tongue

Here's some homoeroticism:

#but TO COME BACK TO OP’S POINT ABOUT ACTUAL GAMEPLAY#I want to see Coach Roy get red carded and have to sit in the stands for the next game cursing and swearing

He'd get, like, 3 red cards a season MINIMUM. Mourinho who. Here's Klopp losing it a bit. Here's Pep being passive aggressive as fuck. Pochettino from 2 days ago. Also from last weekend: De Zerbi's "I don't like 80% of referees in England" he's so right for this.

Manager Roy would get himself red carded the week before Richmond play Chelsea away. Totally accidental. So he doesn't have to have a lil cry about it.

#I want to see what it would take to get Zoreaux sent off#and then they have to stick Bumbercatch in goal and it turns out he has some Hyper Specific Phobia about the situation#he manages to save the team but his coping mechanisms for dealing with Forcible Keeper Phobia make up the comedy B-plot of the episode#

I want CLUB RIVALRY. dunno where Richmond actually physically is but imagine if they had derbies#Ted has to be made to understand that no coach - for THIS game we will not stop till we see BLOOD#Richmond wins but bc they are playing away the home fans actively are tossing crap at them as they celebrate on the pitch#also the sprinklers come on and it’s a bus full of soaked greyhounds on the ride home

They're in West London! Maybe they just fucking hate Fulham. Or Brentford.

Actually, I've thought long and hard about Richmond's derby rivalries. Semi-canon sources say they have a bit of a West London rivalry with Brentford BUT to me it doesn't make much sense because Richmond are supposed to have been mid-table in the Prem for years, top-flight but mediocre. Brentford only made it to the Prem in 2021.

Actually, I've decided that Richmond kind of take the place of QPR for most of their history, except they didn't get relegated when QPR did. This is because 1) it'd be too many London-based clubs otherwise but, more importantly, 2) when Man City won their first title in 2012 with Agueeeeeero!!! that was against Richmond. It's funny, To Me.

Also you know Roy still fucking hates Newcastle from his Sunderland academy days. If his pundit career had lasted longer he'd be having top tier shithousery with Alan Shearer every week about it.

Anyway here's a whole youtube playlist about WILD derbies.

#ALSO BC SUAREZ IS COMING TO MIAMI - BITING INCIDENTS CAN THEY DO THAT

As an Italian I am legally obliged to SAY that if Suarez hadn't bitten Chiellini at the World Cup we would have gone past the group stage because Uruguay scored off a corner they won while Italy were all busy telling the ref that there was a fucking cannibal on the pitch. I don't forgive and I don't forget.

Anyway for context: cannibal Luis Suarez. He's a repeat offender. Someone at Richmond would think it was very funny

youtube

#once again sticking this footie post in the tag #ted lasso #FIC AUTHORS I HOPE THIS INSPIRES YOU #tumblr user taakiki16 you're SO valid for those tags I love them #sports #i'm sorry re roy & mourinho it's just true. roy in his prime playing days wouldn't have cared about the cuntery #as a manager he wouldn't be shit to his physio but as a player? sorry it wasn't a deal breaker. he likes mou more than ancelotti. to me #ted lasso meta #i mean. sort of lmao #long post #afc richmond #roy kent #various irl footie people #futbol

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thefangirltreehouse · 1 year

Text

sebastian sallow | general thoughts / headcanons with gryffindor!mc

this is just overall thoughts on the sebastian arc and his general characterisation (yes, i am continuing to update this on my second playthrough)

spoilers below

the amount of times i’ve caught sebastian looking at mc through the start of my now second play-through is hilariously adorable, like don’t get me wrong the herbology one is absolutely the best, but i noticed that throughout charms sebastian is just staring at mc (like he’s straight up starts ignoring ominis speaking to him when they walk in the room) also the slight glances in defence against the dark arts before the duel is so cute.

he does it again whilst sirona and rookwood are arguing, like he just turns to them and similes

you can’t convince me otherwise that mc didn’t grab at least his arm to pull him away from ranrok, like it genuinely looks like that and if you squint hard enough it looks like he does the same thing when heading into the three broomsticks

listen i’m specifically playing as fem! & gryffindor! and the missions with ominis feel so reminiscent of the golden trio (i’m calling it now, they’re the electrum trio - a metal mixed with gold and sliver) especially the crucio side-mission

saw someone in a comment sum their dynamic up perfectly from my perspective

“i used to have beef with ominis before this (crucio) quest happened and now it’s me, a gryffindor dragging two slytherins by their shirt collars”

slight tangent but ominis is so sweet if you start as a slytherin! i saw my friend start his game and meet him in the common room and i was like “i’m sorry, is this the same tory bastard that yelled at me for nicking his pal?”

if anything sebastian comes off worse in that section.

almost every streamer i’ve came across assumes he’s flirting, like this was absolutely intentional

when either of the boys, particularly sebastian is speaking to imelda and the conversation of mc comes up she absolutely refers to mc as “that gryffindor of yours”

i mean, it’s the age old rivalry that just gives everything that extra oomph! despite the fact nobody seems to be questioning that a gryffindor has closely befriended not one, but two slytherins because that certainly isn't suspicious (i'm surprised one of the gryffindors didn't bring it up - particularly leander)

speaking of leander, why are the more prominent gryffindors (and ravenclaws) so antagonistic or hellbent on getting us in trouble?

sebastian’s jealously towards both his friends is dripping in the crucio quest like, in the line below i know he means because mc and ominis have special abilities but...

"between the two of you, i'm starting to feel left out"

the constant proud "that's my girl" look on his face

"never know who's watching - although that hasn't stopped us before." "strictly speaking, it has. we were caught."

also at the start of the library mission, anyone notice the way he's casually waiting on mc against the banister smiling up at her? or whilst he's waiting on her and ominis to figure out the location of the scriptorium? like, this boy knows he's the shit.

listen, there are certain things that sebastian said and did during his storyline that even at that age, i would’ve noped out of but i went in with a “yes, corrupt the little goody-two-shoes gryffindor madly infatuated with you” attitude and honestly it was so much fun. cause objectively yeah, sebastian should be expelled at the very least but my mc was not gonna let them do that (they're very much giving jd and veronica)

that said, mc isn't about to let him walk all over her, she's a gryffindor for a reason, she's just had some misguided judgement

don’t love how there isn’t much of a reaction from either boy after crucio is cast on mc, especially from sebastian (again, massive red flag) but also, think the devs missed the mark on that one like sebastian is still mc’s friend, yeah he really wants to see anne healed but a little sympathy shown would’ve been nice and a proper acknowledgement of what'd he'd done.

even if sebastian shrugged it off quickly he should've helped them walk or at least offered a hand to stand up

i love the wee house jibes, i wish we got more of them!

"you're not a bad chap, for a slytherin" "you gryffindors don't have a monopoly on bravery y'know"

an awful lot of english folk in the scottish highlands

sebastian and poppy are talking whilst leaving a class and my brain was like “omg her bf + gf are talking!”

i want triwizard and yule so badly!

the red and the green / gold and silver looks, look so good!

mc makes a comment about how amazed sebastian will be when she tells him that she took down the ashwinders by herself

"it'd be wise to keep an eye on you"

_____

general headcanons (oc-ish)

he'd absolutely mutter continuous little digs and comments throughout their classes simply to get under her skin and make her smile whilst she's trying to listen to their professors (he used to do this to ominis but he's able to ignore sebastian now after years of the torment)

whilst having dinner in the great hall they won't be sitting together but they'll lightly tap or nudge one another on the back if they're passing behind each-other's designated tables

sebastian refers to the fat lady painting as the "golden gate keeper of mediocrity" after walking mc back to gryffindor tower, which earns him a mildly deserved elbow jab

he gives mc piggy-backs during their trips to hogsmead and the quidditch pitch

whilst she's walking to and from classes with cressida or natsai, sebastian is regularly seen inserting himself between them, putting an arm over mc and / or pinching her away over to ominis and nerida

"who would've thought, all it took was a snake to tame the lion" cressida noted to a disinterested leander, peering over at the scarlet robes peaking beneath the sea of green

mc likes to softly poke at his blushing cheeks, joking that if sebastian "gets any redder, he won't be allowed back into slytherin" or that "he might have to come back to gryffindor with her"

mc has on occasion accidently fallen asleep, resting her head on his shoulder during history of magic

most of the gryffindors (nellie, leander and garreth in particular) will tease sebastian as he waits for her outside the common room, claiming "she was ours first" and attempt to distract her for as long as possible beyond the painting just to 'knock 'im down a few pegs'

they're well aware she's highly capable of holding her own, but not only is he a slytherin, he's also sebastian sallow so they're protective

he much prefers bumping into natty, who'll make a light "lost puppy" joke, share laugh and proceed to actually go get mc or he would actively seek out lucan because he knows the kid sucks-up to him but eventually the older gryffindors caught-on and would bribe lucan with chocolate frogs to stop him in his tracks

mc enjoys exposing sebastian to muggle trinkets and snacks, she grew up in a travelling circus with her parents, a ringmaster and fortune teller who never attended hogwarts in their youth (i'm gonna do a separate oc bio)

the trio all share a love of pumpkin pasties and lavender tea so whoever has a free period (or when sebastian has detention) will pop down to the kitchen to collect some

forehead kisses, hugs and interlocked arms whilst exploring the castle are everything to these two (their subtle little height difference is adorable, especially when you remember fem!mc is wearing wee wedged shoes at the start of the game)

highwing isn't his biggest fan (prefers ominis) and mc relishes in that

#hogwarts legacy #sebastian sallow #ominis gaunt #harry potter #my gif looks like ass #i forgot how to make them look good and im not used to getting clips from my ps5 #i'm gonna make a gif set with my second playthrough cause i missed screen recording a lot of their best scenes first time around

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llannasvsp · 2 months

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Dragons Rising Season 2, Episode 3: Beyond the Phantasm Cave

We are baaaack!! Honestly, I like spreading out my rewatch because I binged all 10 in one sitting. Spreading out my rewatch makes the excitement last longer. Not that I'm running out of excitement. I will never get over this season and it's not even done AGH. ANYWAY. On to the episode!

So, Cinder is Link from Zelda?

You feel the gong what?

Jordana and Cinder beef so real.

Awh, Kai. Glad they didn't forget his anger issues.

Arin is definitely not okay.

LLOYD MEDITATED ALL DAY AGHHH POOR GUY.

Lloyd has every right to be upset and frustrated right now.

Little source dragons!

OH MY GOSH the Netflix subtitles tell us which source dragon symbols correspond with the element!???!?

LIFE SYMBNOL CLAIMS LLOYD EVEROYNE. LIFE SYMBOL. DID ANYONE KNOW THIS?!?! YHHELLO. THIS IS MY FIRST TIME LEARNING OF THIS SO THIS IS A GENUIINE REACTION OH. MYGOSH.

Soooo Strength is a hater.

"He is no ordinary mortal". Okayyy so are we going to talk about him literally having Dragon heritage???

LEVITATING LLOYD CLIP!

Once again, Sam is literally serving. He portrays anxiety so well.

KAI + WYLDFYRE CLIP!

I am literally obsessed with this moment between them. Wyldfyre doesn't want to be left out. Kai wants her to stay safe and be okay. He's so kind and gentle with her. I love them.

I gotta admit, I'm an elemental mech hater.

"Would Master Wu take us on a mission based off of half understood dreams?" Oh he absolutely would.

KAI ASKING FROHICKY TO WATCH OVER WYLDFYRE RAGH.

I don't know how I feel about the Cloud Kingdom having a motor buuuut okay.

They really decided that this was the episode to upload clips from.

I love this moment because it addresses that Lloyd is doubting himself, it acknowledges that Lloyd and Nya have been through way too much stuff, and it shows us that Lloyd does not want to put Arin and Sora through something horrific. He doesn't want them to experience "the horrors" too young like he did.

Kai being mad that Wyldfyre stowed away but not in like an angry way but in a "I don't want you getting hurt" way is just sooooo.

Sora is so right to be concerned. I would be too if I were her.

I get what Sora was trying to do with the grappling hooks, but I also feel like this isn't going to bode well for Arin. She made his thing something "cooler" because their elemental powers are involved.

EWWW TENTACLES.

AGHH Arin and Sora complete each other my hearrrt.

Okayyy so visions.

Arin: Fear of letting his parents down. Guilt that he "replaced" them with the ninja.

Sora: Something to do with Imperium?? I don't really understand hers I'm gonna be so honest.

Lloyd: Being an inadequate teacher. Leading everyone to their destruction. "You will never be good enough." Dang.

Nya: Jay not remembering her.

Wyldfyre: The wasting thing that's talked about later.

KAI: WE DON'T FREAKING GET TO SEE IT. LET US SEE IT.

I feel like we just need to remember all of their fears because it's absolutely going to be important to all of them later.

"I know the real Jay could never forget me." Oh, honey. Don't say that.

Egalt is ugly.

GRRR THIS EPISODE IS AMAZING.

I think we didn't see Kai's vision because they're going to bring it back later. I know some people are saying that it was of a corrupted version of himself, and honestly, I'd say that's a very likely assumption, given his history. He used to have a lust for power, and maybe he still does, it's just more subdued. If anything were to happen to him (pretend we haven't seen ep10 yet), he could likely succumb to that temptation for power.

ALSO I'm such a Lloyd "life" truther, so learning that it was the LIFE DRAGON who claimed him?!??!? Yes. I'm so excited to expand more on that.

#llannas dr recap #ninjago spoilers #ninjago #dragons rising #ninjago dragons rising #dragons rising spoilers #ninjago dr #lloyd garmadon #lloyd ninjago #kai jiang #kai ninjago #nya jiang #nya ninjago #wyldfyre ninjago #arin ninjago #sora ninjago #cinder ninjago #jordana ninjago #lord ras

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chuplayswithfire · 7 months

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re the ask about stede not doing enough to make up for ditching ed - did it not balace out that ed tortured his crew for weeks and tried to kill lucius? idk why everybody is woobifying ed as if being sad or having a hard life is a justification for any of the shit he did like he has autonomy and chooses to behave the way he does when stede leaves. same goes for blaming all of eds actions on izzy as if izzy forced him to do anything? i think its weird and doesn’t do justice to his intentionally morally gray dimensional flawed character

okay so anon you are bringing up multiple things and conflating them, i think so let's take this one bit at a time

re the ask about stede not doing enough to make up for ditching ed - did it not balace out that ed tortured his crew for weeks and tried to kill lucius?

so first, let's be clear: ed's actions towards other people do NOT balance out stede's actions towards ed. that's uhhhh not how it works. when it comes to if stede did enough to make up for ghosting ed, that is a situation resolved only within ed and stede's personal relationship. stede leaving doesn't justify ed being callous and later cruel to the crew, but likewise, ed being callous and later cruel to the crew doesn't mean stede didn't owe something to ed if he wanted their relationship to work.

now let me further say that...i don't think that ed tortured (members of) stede's crew for weeks. in fact, i don't think he's physically harmed any of the crew aside from izzy, and I would argue that his dynamic with izzy is it's own special beef. if anything, i would say that between season 1 episode 10 and season 2 episode 1, ed's been a classic overachieving boss pushing his staff to the breaking point by having them work long shifts with no breaks and low pay.

this is not good, by the way, i am not saying he is being a good boss; kraken ed is fully that shithead boss who schedules 13 hour days and thinks a pizza party or donuts in the lounge make up for it. izzy tells him morale is low and he asks if they got cake, and then if they want drugs. the crew does not describe being worn down from specific fear of ed - they are worn down by day after day after day of endless raids without breaks; all the worst parts of piracy (the raids, the violence, the death) with none of the benefits (the break time between targets, the shore leave, getting paid).

again i say this is not good because it's not, but also, i think the fandom has marinated in this idea that because ed took izzy's toe he'd be doing all kinds of violence to the rest of the crew, and s2e1 doesn't really bare that out. they're shocked and horrified that he actually shoots izzy, and none of them are missing bits - in fact, the behavior is apparently so unique to izzy that they think izzy and ed have a toxic relationship. if it was any of them getting that, it wouldn't be an intervention getting plotted.

(he did for sure try to kill lucius though, which is why i'm glad lucius got to dump him overboard lol. lucky lucius. izzy tried to kill stede twice and stede didn't even get to stab him once.)

idk why everybody is woobifying ed as if being sad or having a hard life is a justification for any of the shit he did like he has autonomy and chooses to behave the way he does when stede leaves.

now half the fandom is woobifying ed because we love him and like him and also because the other half of the fandom is wildly racist about him so.

but, also, it's important context that the showrunner describes ed's actions as "a bit much" and "not entirely inappropriate". in the context of their environment, most of what ed did is not that shocking or stunning; he has hurt people, but even the people he hurt move on from it relatively soon, and we can see from spanish jackie (who doesn't give her employees enough money to pursue their own ambitions/perfectly fine with killing a husband to remove an obstacle) and ned low (literally all of that in episode 6) and izzy (in the like ten minutes he was captain and forced people to season his food and threatening folks with going hungry for laughing at him) that pirate captains are, generally, pretty shit, actually.

roach and archie at various points express sentiments that show this is all pretty normal for pirates; it's not that ed wasn't a dick, it's that he wasn't uniquely evil or fucked up. it's also that his behavior is sympathetic to many people because the show makes it abundantly clear that he's incredibly depressed and suicidal, and while it's definitely NOT okay to hurt people because you're in a bad way, the show is definitely more geared towards "even when you do all that fucked up shit, you still can be deserving of love and compassion if you reach for it" rather than "if you do fucked up shit you instantly are on the death list".

same goes for blaming all of eds actions on izzy as if izzy forced him to do anything? i think its weird and doesn’t do justice to his intentionally morally gray dimensional flawed character

izzy's not responsible for ed's actions in the sense that he put a gun to ed's head during every move, but he plays a critical role in making all that shit happen. it's like how stede wouldn't have ghosted ed if chauncey hadn't of dragged him out of bed - the festering self hatred that chauncey tapped into was there in stede, but he wouldn't have given in without a jolt from his past. the festering self hatred in ed wouldn't have broiled over into the kraken without izzy, but that was all still in ed.

izzy is pivotal in all that shit happening. if izzy hadn't of come in and jabbed ed in every sore spot he had and been a huge homophobia ridden pest that *also* threatened ed if he continued behaving in a way izzy didn't like, ed wouldn't have gone all kraken.

however, ed still DID go all kraken, so like, yeah, he did that shit. izzy is the explanation for why he did, but it's ed who did it so he has to make amends.

but also like ed is only as morally gray as literally everyone else. frenchie and roach are both in full support of torture. jim fully tried to kill a guy for throwing a glass at archie. all of them are professional murderers who make their living being the absolute living nightmares of people who are just living their lives doing their thing.

ed isn't any more morally gray than anyone else, but it's very weird how people try to make it out like ED is the intentionally morally gray character when it's just that this is a show about professional violent criminals, so the show doesn't really moralize about acts of violence.

now taking it back to the top though:

nothing ed did to the crew would change stede's need to re-earn ed's trust for ghosting him without a word and not being honest about his feelings and doubts. if ed wanted stede to atone for that, that would be ed's right as a person in the relationship - just like it would be the right of frenchie, archie, jim, or fang to want to ed to do something more before they offered their forgiveness. the fucked up shit you do to other people does not retroactively justify the fucked up shit someone else did to you. stede doesn't get a get out of the doghouse free card for ghosting ed just because ed was a dick to other people; he gets a get out of the doghouse free card because ed decides to forgive him and try again.

#ofmd #fandom fuckery #izzy hands #edward teach #stede bonnet #ofmd s2 spoilers

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