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dekusleftsock · 7 months

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Dekus no good, very bad, faceplant into masculinity and internalized homophobia

I made this a thought post from chapter 402 originally, but I can’t let these thoughts fester any longer. Gotta be correct about it 🫶🫶🫶

Alright so when I originally talked about this on a couple of platforms (not just tumblr, tiktok too and a bit on Twitter that has no connection to this account lmao) I feel like people told me that I was “stretching” with my assumptions.

But then Toga’s backstory being told to Ochako was… directly referenced to a queer allegory. And in 394, she directly says that she likes girls. It’s the thing said last, implying it’s something she’s still ashamed of feeling.

This chapter basically confirmed in my mind that Himiko’s blood quirk was the equivalent to the homophobia that was probably in her own household. And in my mind, that means that blood quirk = metaphor on her queer experience.

And then suddenly, the pieces clicked into place.

In 348, Izuku disagrees with Himiko and Ochako’s ideals—not only at the idea of girly romance, but also at unconventional romance.

Ochako has distanced herself due to Izuku’s inability to confront his own feelings. Shown both physically and metaphorically.

Ochako took all the steps to walk away because from Izuku. Because Izuku held her back.

Or more rather, she realized that Izuku was no allmight, but rather just an average boy in need of saving as anyone else. He is someone who’s flaws cannot align with Ochako’s own ideals for a relationship.

Because ochako is weird.

Izuku holds her back. She can’t be everything she needs to be while around him.

And that’s something Izuku’s not going to understand, not like how she needs him to understand.

And Himiko knows who Ochako is on a more fundamental level than Izuku ever will, and that’s okay.

I feel like whenever I talk about these character flaws having to do with Izuku, it almost sounds like I’m bashing him? I swear, I’m not, it makes complete sense as to why he is this way. And there are people (Katsuki) in the world who can have this in a relationship under the right communication, and some people can’t. And that’s just how we exist. That’s okay. We don’t all have to be compatible with everyone.

Back to the main point, the pieces and the people putting those pieces together were starting to see their parallels.

Even the manga placement parallels them, especially with how clever I feel horikoshi can be with his paneling.

Looking down, looking up. Both three quarter angles. Small mouth expression, big mouth expression. And that blush.

Fake smile when unhappy. Falling for someone who is dying, who you’d do anything for, even toe the line of death defending them, fixing them—just because you can’t help but love someone you wish had walked into your life sooner (or in Izuku’s case, accepted into your life sooner).

Someone you’d sacrifice for. Someone you’re violent for. Someone you’d kill for.

Someone you’d rather let an entire population of people die for than live without.

Someone you’re undeniably, unequivocally, selfish for.

And yet Izuku doesn’t recognize his same symptoms of love through Himiko Toga as Ochako does.

Himiko must be dehumanized to Izuku, because if she’s a person, then she is him.

(What’s even more interesting about this panel, is that if the characters were reversed and it was about Izuku’s violent feelings over protecting Katsuki, danger sense would be going off constantly. So toga is the perfect counter, but Izuku is the ultimate weakness.)

So, okay, how exactly do these things matter? How does this have to do with Izuku’s own personal struggle over his masculinity?

I think what’s important to clarify here is that when I say “internalized homophobia”, I don’t mean that he necessarily is beating himself up over the fact that he likes a boy instead of a girl.

I think it’s connected to his fear of rejection, and his own personal issues having to do with remaining a “strong man” instead of a “weak man”.

Izuku may not believe that liking men is anyone’s business but his own, but does Katsuki think that?

Izuku has called his feelings of admiration gross. Not that he himself is an awful person for feeling them, but that Katsuki will be the one to think they’re gross. And he’s worked so hard to get to this point in their relationship, he doesn’t wanna let it go over some stupid feelings.

And this is where toga comes into the picture, his parallels between her, because just how is Toga supposed to know that Ochako isn’t judging her for her feelings? Technically, all of the things she’s said before the final fight between them have only proved the inevitable. That Toga is gross, a freak, a predator, a danger, because she loves a woman.

How is Izuku supposed to interpret being called a stalker by Katsuki? How is he supposed to interpret when people call him creepy for his muttering and analyzation? How is he supposed to interpret being called a crybaby by his idol, Katsuki, and everyone else when he cannot control that?

How can he handle feelings that are out of his control, and still believe that they’re okay?

And at the very least, even if homophobia doesn’t exist in mha, heteronormativity does. Especially shown through Ashido, a straight girl.

None of that is necessarily Allmight, Katsuki, or even Ochako’s fault, because of course they’re just teasing him—but it doesn’t change the fact that it affects how he perceives himself.

So when I say that Izuku has problems with internalized homophobia, I mean that he is afraid of how the people around him will perceive him, than a constant feeling of self hatred due to not liking women.

And when I say that his internalized homophobia is an extension of his masculinity, I mean that because he has no confidence in himself and his more vulnerable emotions, he is unable to accept what or who he is. This ofc affects the people around him, like saying that Ochako CANT be weird because she’s just “so amazingly normal” without realizing that he’s just downplaying who she is and what she thinks, or dehumanizing the most openly queer character in the series because it benefits the perception he has of himself, or even silently rejecting Katsuki’s feelings simply out of a need to “control his heart and control his quirk”.

In Izuku’s mind, the only way to keep Katsuki is to not be the weird kid he was in his childhood. In a way, Izuku is still performing for Katsuki.

#so. hello.#ME ACTUALLY POSTING AN NOT REBLOGGING ADVENTURE TIME??? not as rare as you think..#I really should’ve wrote this more focused on allmight #bc that’s where a majority of the MASCULINITY ISSUES come from #but I’ve missed talking about them a lot okay y’all #bkdk #togachako #midoriya izuku #mha deku #bkdk brainrot #bakudeku #bakugou katsuki #bnha deku #mha analysis #deku midoriya

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istoleyoursk1n · 4 months

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Hello, I saw your requests are open after I read some of your stuff and wanted to give an idea. One thing I don’t see too often in fantasy is anti-magic types so I’d like to request a Tav that is magically blank. What I mean by that is where everyone else either has magic or is effected by it, Tav can be neither of these. Try to hit them with a lightning bolt? Doesn’t work. Illusions? Doesn’t work. Enchantments? Nah. This makes them a terrifying mage hunter that can go toe to toe with many magic creatures and users. Of course they need to work around not being healed by magic as well. (Choose whoever for the characters!)

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

How would the boys react to a Tav who’s incapable of being harmed by or creating magic?

(If any of you won't see one for the girls, just ask <3)

: ̗̀➛ ASTARION

“I know I’ve already got the delightfully excellent privilege of looks to me, darling, but damn it all! You’d think those lazing Gods would grant me more than just a dashing face to get me through my troubles too!”

Immediately comes asking how the hell you gained such an ability and if so, how could he get some of that for himself.

He's envious of the fact that nearly all magic seems to have little to zero effects on you. He's far too consumed by the amount of advantages it gives you that he doesn't exactly see the downsides.

I mean, he’s seen you take a fireball to your face and shake it off as if it was nothing. However, the sight of you bleeding out as every magical healing potion and spell does absolutely nothing to aid you ends up being the very thing that makes him wonder if it would be worth it.

But hey! It's rather entertaining for him to watch every foe you encounter gasp in shock when they realize all the magic spells they throw at you do nothing to hinder your each attack.

The funniest thing he saw was someone trying to manipulate you with a charm spell only for you to humiliate them for their obvious attempt.

: ̗̀➛ WYLL

“By the hells, you’re immune to magic? That’s one darn good of an advantage to have, especially on a journey such as ours. Though, it's a shame that you’ll never get to see the delights that come with it, you would have loved it, I’m sure!”

He wasn't all too bothered by the fact you couldn't create magic. Some people lived all their lives without using them and they still made fine warriors, why should he judge you?

However, he was completely shocked when he first watched a lightning bolt strike your body only for you to shrug it off. You didn't even have the burn marks that would have came from it.

After figuring out your little situation, he was both deeply fascinated and impressed. There's no way anything is stopping either of you now, not when you are immune to nearly all types of magic.

Be prepared because this man does start to give you ridiculous titles over your unique ability. “The anti-magician”, “The impenetrable magic consumer”, it gets worse and worse but it's making you both laugh.

Yet, what he does find quite concerning is the number of times he's witnessed your other companions use you as a personal test dummy in terms of magic-based attacks. He’s always quick to grab you out of those situations even though you were mostly okay with it.

: ̗̀➛ GALE

“Immune to magic? Truly? Are you telling me a particularly powerful sorcerer could cast a tremendously potent necrotic spell on you and you’d just... Stand there… with not so much as a bruise? Are you certain you’re from this plane of existence-”

What in the fuck <— His initial reaction lmao

He’s never even seen anything that could resist most if not all magic, even worse that you can't even seem to make it yourslf.

He’s spent the majority of his life so heavily involved with magic and the weave that he could hardly see himself without it, better yet, he doesn't even understand how you live so mundanely.

Heck! Even lower-class citizens could learn magic if not already know how to cast a basic spell or two. Now he has a hundred different questions running through his head and you could probably only answer half of them.

Perhaps he even suspected that you may have just used a multitude of potions of resistance on yourself to turn out this way but if so, the effects should have worn off by now.

Either way, he’s bewildered by you. Intensely interested in how this situation of yours came to be and if there is truly a limit to what magic you can resist. Though, trust that he won't try to experiment on you for himself.

: ̗̀➛ HALSIN

“Ah, though I understand the loss of seizing the art of magic for oneself is rather unfortunate, this only means that perhaps a far more naturalistic path awaits you. One I hope brings nothing but joy and aid in our journey ahead.”

Pleasantly surprised but also curious about it all. When you say all magic do you truly mean all? And if he were to bring a magical flame near your skin, would you feel it's warmth?

Though, he doesn't press on the matter too much. However, there are occasions when he has forgotten about your immunity and ends up shielding you from a magical blast you could have easily taken yourself.

Reflexes perhaps. He’s fairly used to jumping in to protect those he cares for and he does get a tad bit embarrassed over the fact that your magic immunity slipped his mind once or twice due to his own impulses.

Though worry not if magical healing spells or potions don't work on you! He knows plenty of natural ways to heal your wounds. Though it will take significantly longer.

Regardless, he's happy to be of service to you, even teaching you some ways to use herbs and the fauna around you to make a quick remedy to all sorts of wounds so you won't have to ever struggle as much as you did before.

•❅───────────✧❅✦❅✧───────────❅•

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 headcanons #bg3 headcanon #bg3 x reader #bg3 astarion #bg3 wyll #bg3 gale #bg3 halsin #astarion #wyll #gale #halsin

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satoruxx · 6 months

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NORTHERN LIGHTS.

✧ PAIRING: kaeya alberich x fem!reader | 4.5k words

✧ SUMMARY: smut, p -> v, praise, fingering, lots of pining, angst, angsty bc it’s kaeya tbh lol, kaeya lore but it’s vague, also military themes bc sometimes we forget kaeya is a captain and i love the knights of favonius, he’s highkey got commitment issues but i think he’s valid, man is whipped tho, he's just an overthinker and traumatized, also can you tell i’m a med student?

✧ RHEYA'S NOTE: first i have to apologize bc this is SO late??? i got this request back for my 200 event, asking for kaeya with the song northern lights by kennie (which is such a good song). at first i was gonna make it a short little drabble, but the more i wrote, the more i wanted to make it a full fic, which is what ended up happening. kaeya's character has so much depth and i wanted to explore it hehe. northern lights is such a fitting song for him so i just had to go all in. but i'm so sorry that i got to your request so late, hopefully you still enjoy it lovely! (even tho it’s not the main focus in this fic, this is technically my first real smut fic so take it with a grain of salt; i don't think i write it that well LMAO)

it was rare to truly know your own weaknesses, but kaeya knew his a little too well. behind his carefree, unbothered exterior he cared a little too much. he cares a little too much when klee tugs on his fur cape and whines about a scolding she’s gotten from jean, and he ends up indulging her with whatever she’d like. he cares a little too much when rosaria spills just a tad more than usual during her drunken ramblings. he cares a little too much when he sees the discomfort in the face of certain fiery bartender as they speak, and he consistently lies awake and remembers days when that discomfort between them didn’t exist.

it’s a curse, he thinks, because he always ends up feeling too attached to people he knows he shouldn’t be attached to.

even now, his weakness is acting up as he barks orders to his soldiers. they scramble around him as they enter the city, carrying their wounded brethren to safety up at the cathedral. kaeya knows he shouldn’t blame himself but as their captain he feels like he should’ve seen this coming. new recruits wouldn’t be able to handle the hordes of monsters at daduapa gorge—he miscalculated.

“take them to the sisters at the cathedral. sister barbara and the others should be able to heal them,” kaeya commands, clasping one of the men’s shoulders and helping him up to the church. he’s ignoring the now dull throbbing in his side as blood stains his clothes—his soldiers were most important right now. like he said, he cared a little too much.

the nurses had set up a medical station at the cathedral, and in between all the commotion, kaeya’s finally able to hand over the groaning soldier to a nurse, who immediately gets to work.

he then takes a few steps back to assess the damage, grateful that all of his soldiers are getting the attention they needed. he’d hate himself if there were any losses today.

he doesn’t even realize that he’s now leaning against the wall, panting shallowly as blood continues to pour from his abdomen. oh well, he’d wait his turn—only after his soldiers were taken care of.

kaeya shuts his eyes, letting his body rest for a minute.

“you’re wounded.”

his eyes shoot open to see you standing in front of him. he assumes you’re not one of the nuns because your clothes are entirely different. you’re young, appearing to be around his age as you eye his torso critically.

“it appears so,” he answers.

“did someone take a look at you yet?”

“i’d prefer all my soldiers be taken care of first.”

your eyes flash with recognition. “so you’re captain kaeya?”

“indeed i am.” he lets his eyes roam over your concerned features.

you give him a small smile before continuing with a sigh. “i can safely tell you that all the wounded are being treated. i’m still an apprentice so i’m only here to deal with the non fatal injuries. like yours, captain.” you crouch down in front of him, fingers reaching towards his clothing with a silent question of permission. he lets his hand slacken as he gives you a nod and you attempt to peel back as many layers as you can to asses the damage before you’re motioning him towards a tent.

a few minutes later and kaeya is letting you strip his torso bare until you have a full view of his injury. your fingers brush over the wounded skin gently, and he wonders if you even touched him at all. “it’s long, but not too deep. a few stitches and you should be alright. if you’re okay with it, i’ll get started,” you tell him.

kaeya wants to tell you that he’s no stranger to the pain of injuries, but he finds something oddly refreshing about your comforting attitude, so he just says yes and lets you begin to work.

you thread through the skin with a delicate hand and despite the sting he honestly can’t even focus on it, choosing instead to analyze your features.

he realizes that you’re awfully pretty.

kaeya makes small talk with you as you work, partly to stay awake through the pain and mostly because he can’t stop his curiosity. he finds out your name, your hobbies, your goals. you may not have the most exciting life but kaeya thinks there’s something so alluring about you it makes him a little dizzy. he's not sure what it is, but he thinks about it the whole time you tend to his wound. realization hits when you finally finish, looking up at him with a smile, and kaeya realizes that your eyes hold the stars in them.

it’s hard to explain but when kaeya watches you work, nose scrunching in the dim lighting of the tent, he thinks you remind him of home.

(kaeya has chased the stars for as long as he can remember. he remembers shouting with diluc in the grass behind the winery, the two of them reaching for celestia because the stars up there were so undeniably pretty.

"we're never gonna get them!" diluc would laugh, trying hard to balance kaeya on his little shoulders. "they're too far…"

and kaeya only grins down at him toothily, raising his fists to the sky. "no way! i'll catch them one day!"

and yet his whole childhood went by without being able to capture the stars. as he grew older he started to learn that it was impossible to steal what the sky so selfishly held on to.

but even as an adult, kaeya knows to appreciate the stars when he gets the privilege to see them in the sky.

especially after he finally seems to find them in the dim glow of a medical tent.)

he hates to admit how often his eyes seek you out after that one encounter. sometimes he’ll see you at the cat's tail, giggling with your friends as you slam tcg cards down on the table triumphantly. other times he’ll catch a glimpse of you at good hunter, chewing on a quick meal as you browse through a book. almost every time he gets caught staring you only smile and offer him a little wave that sends his brain into a frenzy.

(maybe in another life kaeya would allow himself the luxury. he’d let himself go through the motions for you. let himself stress every time you threw a glance his way. work up the courage to ask you out on saturday afternoon. finally get the chance to press his lips to yours. trace your skin with nimble fingers and have the privilege to call you his.

in another life maybe.

but for now he’ll just keep you his own little secret—a guilty pleasure he’ll indulge in because it’s hard to rid an addiction, especially if you don’t have the will to rid it in the first place.)

kaeya’s messed up this summer. he knows it in his soul that he’s made the wrong decision as he watches you babble about something as you lean against his bare chest, still basking in your own afterglow.

he knows that he should have resisted the temptation. as soon as he and the troops got back and he saw you sitting in a secluded corner at angel’s share he knew that his feelings for you hadn’t dissolved.

they say absence makes the heart grow fonder and kaeya only now knows this to be true because just the sight of you sends his mind into a frenzy. you could probably feel his gaze on you because you look up from the book you’re reading and make straight eye contact with him. for a second, he wants to turn away but then you smile at kaeya like you’ve never once forgotten him, and he’s putty. before he knows it, he’s buying you a drink and walking over to your little corner to make himself comfortable.

it’s a slow descent for him because in his head he knows he shouldn’t get too attached. he’ll leave again soon with the troops, and who knows maybe he’ll leave them behind one day too. his future has always looked so clouded to him, and he knows you belong in the sun. he’d like to leave you there in the light—avoid dragging you into his darkness.

so he tries to keep it simple, occasionally meeting you for a drink or catching up around the city. but then you’re showing him your favorite place to study near starfell lake and he’s showing you his favorite stars while laying on his back on starsnatch cliff. and he knows he can’t avoid it.

soon enough he’s giving into everything he said he wouldn’t, finally finding out what you taste like. finally knowing how his name sounds when it falls from your lips.

it's more addicting than he could've predicted, the feeling of your breath against his skin as you pant out his name. kaeya can't even bring himself to pull away from you to stop and think for a second. if he did then maybe he could slap some sense into himself and draw some distance because archons above he was digging himself deeper into this hole. but he can't, not when you're gripping his shoulders as he presses you against the wall of his bedroom, whining into his lips for all that he can give you.

and kaeya is nothing if not generous.

so he indulges both you and himself—the perfect mix of selfless and selfish as he guides you to his bed, nimble fingers loosening the ties of your clothing until you're bare in front of him. he can see the bashfulness settling into your cheeks and he almost feels like goading for just a minute, but he decides he'll be nice.

you've always deserved a nice guy anyway.

he tries to push that thought away, instead distracting himself with the heat of your body, his fingers dancing along your skin eagerly. maybe, just this one night, he can let it be about you two. he can afford to forget about all the old promises he's made—all the responsibilities and duties he devoted himself to a lifetime ago.

kaeya ignores the flush of heat crawling up his neck as he hovers over you, caging your body underneath his as you squirm in anticipation. he understands—the tightness in his pants is enough for him to feel the same. but he's not worried about that, not when his fingers part your thighs eagerly, brushing over heated skin and finding slick wetness there as he dips into your cunt. he hears the sharp intake of breath, the quiet restrained moan, and he preens. kaeya revels in the sounds he pulls from your lips as his fingers curl against your slick heat, your head lolling back against his pillows.

there's a possessive streak of something that cuts through him then—something that tells him how he aches to be the only one who gets to hear those sounds.

it makes him slightly sick.

kaeya realizes then—he's been quite stupid when it comes to you. he's kept the maelstrom of feelings brewing in his soul trapped under all his bravado, arrogant and cowardly all at once. he needs to tell you, needs to be honest because this isn't something he can trick his way out of.

but all he wants to do is run. run so far away from you because he doesn't want you to to get caught up in his own ruin. you're far too good for him, too sweet and carefree to be tainted by his sin-laden hands. he needs to run.

but he does none of that, not when he's guiding his fingers to the apex of your thighs and exploring territory he knows he shouldn't claim. because then you look at him with an expression so blissful—so thankful, relieved that he's giving you a part of himself he never wanted to—and he can't even be angry about it.

kaeya presses his lips to the swell of your chest, feeling the rapid thumping of your heart under your skin, and he shuts his eyes as he breathes out your name. you answer with a resounding mewl, catching his eyes even through the dark strands of his hair.

he then chooses to focus on pumping his fingers in and out of your cunt because archons do you look heavenly when your eyes roll back like that.

but it scares him, the way you leave him open and exposed and aching even when he doesn't want to be.

in his head you're perfect, all bright and glowing under him as you chant his name like he's some kind of savior. but kaeya isn't a savior—if anything he's destruction in human form, sent by the heavens to wreak havoc on those around him. he'd destroyed enough already—he doesn't think he can do it to you too.

but archons the way you're looking at him now, from under fluttering lashes and dewy eyes that shine even brighter when they're trained on him—begging, pleading, and oh so trusting of him and every thing he wants to give you. he can't even help himself.

"i know, sweet girl," he sighs, voice strained as you buck your hips just perfect—a temptress, sent to lead him to his doom. and yet he can't stop his fingers from pushing back your hair from your sweaty skin, knowing that he should be careful because he doesn't want to destroy something as fragile as this.

"kaeya please," your breath comes out in short desperate pants, nails digging into the fabric of his shirt and sliding it off his shoulders haphazardly.

"i know," he repeats, reaching down to heft your thigh over his waist as he slots his hips against your own, biting back a groan at the sensitive brush against his cock—throbbing, aching, needy.

"ah fuck," he's almost shy at the way his voice shakes as he lines his cock up, the heat and slickness of your cunt a teasing caress against his sensitive head. he drops his forehead against your shoulder, breathing heavily even before he's inside you because something about this makes him so incredibly nervous. a single desperate whine and the soft squeeze of your fingers into his biceps and he's stilling—breath catching, heart pounding.

for a moment, he doesn't even feel like himself. he's not anything, no one.

and then he slides in and kaeya knows that there will never be anything better—another experience that would feel this right in his life.

he pulls out a little, gaze lingering at the sweat beading at your forehead, and something in his chest stutters. "okay?" he traces your face for any hint of hesitation—of the nervousness that he feels in his gut, but all he finds is a stormy mix of desire and devotion.

"uh huh," reassurance, stability—everything he isn't. his brows pinch, eyes shutting because he doesn't want you to know.

he's pulled out of the whirlwind that is his thoughts when he feels your fingers on his cheek, brushing over his skin gently. his eyes snap open, and even through the haze he can feel himself relaxing under your touch, because the way you're looking at him is so undeniably loving and it makes his stomach flip.

"you okay?" you whisper, looking up at him carefully, and kaeya feels as though you've put him between the halves of a microscope slide to analyze him.

"i'm fine," he breathes out, not a lie but not the whole truth either. "don't worry."

his words do little to quell you, but one roll of his hips has your eyes fluttering, a choked moan escaping your throat, and the sound makes his pride sing.

there's an image then—hazy and yet so obvious as his brain registers it. the implications behind it makes his stomach churn.

quiet smiles, hazy kisses, soft goodbyes—and then the inevitable distance as he crosses over the border separating your world from his. a lone figure standing in the streets of mondstadt, always waiting for him to come back. always disappointed.

you buck your hips upward, blissfully unaware of the torrent of conflicting emotions in his head. kaeya's brain short-circuits, and then he's pushing back, a steady rhythm against your gummy walls that takes the breath out of your lungs. you savor every thrust, punctuated by the sharp grunts he lets out against your throat.

your fingers rake over his back, desperate and needy and focused on one thing only—kaeya, kaeya, kaeya.

"that's it sweetheart," he doesn't have any more control—not on his mind, his body, his mouth. they've all escaped his grasp, too spurred on by you and everything you're willing to offer him.

"'s okay…ah fuck…it's okay," kaeya groans into the column of your throat, not sure whether he's telling you or himself. the clench of your walls sends him spiraling, hips picking up the pace as he pistons his cock in and out—trying to find out just how far he can go.

then he hits one spot, and his vigilant gaze catches the way your jaw slackens, eyes glazing over even as they roll back and a shaky moan escapes your throat—surprised, unexpecting. his ego jumps.

an experimental roll of his hips against the same spot and you make a sound so unhinged that he finds himself already addicted to it. and to tease is in his nature.

"yeah? right there?" he drawls, masking his anxiousness with his bravado once again.

"right there," you whimper, nodding meekly as you grip his shoulders. he huffs out a soft laugh, pressing a gentle kiss to your eyelids like he's trying to kiss away the tears that have gathered there. you preen under his ministrations—it feels a little too domestic.

he understands. it scares him, but he understands. he wonders what the point of worrying is—wonders why he's letting his paranoid brain taint this moment that he'd been waiting for. the only solution left is to ignore it. because you're here, writhing underneath him in the throes of pleasure, vulnerable and trusting and just for him. he should give you what you deserve after all.

so kaeya pushes every other thought out of his head, only focused on you and making you feel good because that's what someone like you deserves—everything you desire laid at your feet.

he presses a chaste kiss to your mouth, paired with a languid roll of his hips as he quietly groans. "okay…." his voice comes out an octave lower, pushed down by the barely concealed need for you. "okay sweet girl. i've got you."

another searing kiss as he breathes through his nose, picking up the pace again as he slams his cock into the spot that makes you see stars. your moans get louder even as they remain muffled against his lips, and kaeya can't help but dig his fingers into the meat of your thigh, leaving behind finger shaped dents in the plushy skin.

a claim—possessive, desperate, selfish.

your kisses become sloppier as kaeya leads you closer to the edge, walls clenching around the length of him, tighter with every thrust he delivers. the chants of his name have become almost reverent, and kaeya thinks his name couldn't possibly sound more beautiful than in that moment. he wonders if he could be blessed to hear it for the remainder of his life, and the thought sends pure unadulterated need through him.

his hips stutter, red hot fire coursing through his chilled veins—building, climbing, overwhelming as every sense goes fuzzy with heat. his grunts become more irregular, in time with the reckless thrusts of his cock as your cunt tightens around him greedily.

his cock twitches as you suck him in eagerly, feeling every ridge and vein as he grunts and groans and tightens his hold on you—unyielding, unrelenting, selfish.

your eyes stay locked on his even as your orgasm rips through you, and kaeya sees celestia in them—brighter than ever before. your muscles spasm, clenching almost painfully as you tremble and writhe underneath him, and he follows you to the doorstep of nirvana with a throaty groan. his hips stutter, twitching and throbbing as he pants out a broken chorus of your name and every praise that doesn't do you justice.

then he drops his forehead against yours, watching your eyelids flutter—celestial stars dim. a soft brush of your lips against his.

your muscles go lax, every guard dropped just for him—trust he realizes, trust he doesn't deserve. he doesn't know how to tell you that.

because even after everything—when you're curled up against his chest, skin warm and dewy against his own, he does not think about how he adores the feeling of your hair brushing against his arm, nor does he focus on the soft tickle of your breathing washing over him. instead he thinks about how he's ruined it all, how he's dragged you into him, and how he needs to let you go before he destroys you completely.

at the end of the summer, kaeya tells you he can’t.

“what are you talking about?” you ask him, a light chuckle escaping your lips as you barely focus on his words. your nose is buried in some medical text, and kaeya thinks that the universe is punishing him now by making him repeat himself.

“us. we shouldn’t have…” he sighs, shoulders dropping. “i mean, we should stop…seeing each other.”

he can practically feel the way his words pull your attention and when he looks up he sees the way your grip on the book has slackened. there’s panic settling in your eyes, mixed with a bit of confusion. a conflicted emotion runs across your face and kaeya’s fingers itch to touch you. “w-why?”

it’s a simple question and he should have no problem answering it, but he struggles to get the words out, his throat constricting uncomfortably. “it was fine in the summer, when i was back here with the troops. but now i’ll have to leave and-“

“so what?” you question, turning in your seat to face him completely. his eyes drop to the shirt you’re wearing, his shirt, and he feels his heart squeezing.

“so-“ he gulps, head spinning as he tries to explain himself. he doesn’t even have a proper answer—he just knows that this is his only option. because there’s no way in hell he deserves this kind of comfort, this kind of happiness. “so i cant-“

“can’t what, kaeya?” you stress, voice going slightly higher and he only then sees the real fear in your expression.

he pauses, mulling over his words and the bitter taste they’re leaving in his mouth. he can feel the sting of your pleading stare, and he swallows hard. “can’t stay,” he finally answers, and he’s shocked at how miserable he sounds.

you look at him like he’s insane, and honestly he feels like he might be. you’re confused and rightfully so, because there are so many remnants of him left in your space, so clearly evident the impact he’s left on you.

“can’t or won’t?”

kaeya’s eyes snap up to yours, because the tremor in your voice sends a jolt of fear down to his stomach, churning and roiling until it makes him sick.

he regrets looking, because he can feel himself breaking then and there.

you’re looking at him with these shining eyes and he swears that he’s glimpses them again—the brightest stars he’s ever had the privilege of seeing. for a second he thinks the light of those stars might disappear because that’s what always happens. but they remain, glowing against the backdrop of your irises and he’s captivated all over again.

his plans to leave you in tears fly out the window then and there.

he’s reaching for your cheeks in less than a second, holding them delicately as he lets his thumbs brush over your teary lashes. there’s a reasonable bit of confusion in your face at his sudden change, but when he leans down to kiss you, you don’t protest, melting into him even though he’s so undeniably cold. kaeya doesn’t even realize he’s saying he loves you, choosing to murmur it against your lips because it’s not meant for anyone else to hear—just the two of you.

he remains there, in the quiet darkness of your room for the rest of the night, because he doesn’t want to leave your side even after he told himself he would.

and yes, he dreads tomorrow. he dreads tomorrow because he knows that he will have to choose between the comfortable home he’s found in you or the dark abyss that has swallowed his past.

he’s scared that the more he allows himself to fall into you, and the more he finds that your eyes are the ones that hold the stars of celestia, then the easier his choice will become.

he’s been chasing the stars for so long after all. now that he finally has them, why in teyvat would he let them go?

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bonefall · 4 months

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Since she was mentioned briefly in the previous post- can Fernstripe and Sunbeam have at least a single conversation together? Something like “hey, what were your trials like and what should I expect?” It doesn’t have to give anything away by having her go “my trials were done under Bramblestar, not Squirrelstar, I can’t promise our trials will be remotely similar”. Though I just want Sunbeam to have friends outside of her in-laws and it’d be cool to see Fernstripe do something outside of “oh yeah she exists” without her actually appearing.

Fernstripe and Shellfur got blorboified. They're one of my favorite background character ships entirely because of BB additions, lmao

They bonded over Shellfur asking her for "niceness lessons," because Spotfur wasn't going to have her husband's bully of a brother know his nespring if he didn't figure his shit out.

I used them for framing what a Gathering and Aftergathering look like at the Lake

Fernstripe can't cook for shit

I am once again, much like a firm guardian telling the kiddies to not get too attached to all of the foster kittens we're sponsoring, saying that I can't say how exactly I'll be using Fernstripe in ASC quite yet. But I CAN promise you for sure that she is going to have waaaaay more of a role.

Both as a fresh migrant to ThunderClan just like Sunny-B, and also as a member of the Graykin family through her mateship to Shellfur. The Graykin family gets a lot more focus in BB because I can't be normal about them.

Assorted thoughts;

I want Sunny to have a bit of a concern, through Fernstripe. See, SHE belongs because she's mates with Shellfur. But what would that mean for Sunny if Nightheart never comes back?

Fernstripe should be someone that Sunbeam gets to know very well, if I do end up going to her having more agency over "constructing" teams of cats for her trials.

And she explicitly should realize, "Fernstripe is my friend which makes me want to pick her; but she's intelligent, not powerful. I can't put her on any tasks that involve that."

"............or anything food-related. of course. good lord"

Someone will mention that Fernstripe was grandfather-claused under any revision that bumped up the 1 task to 3. Most of ThunderClan is pretty openly rolling their eyes about even the 1 task, so they're definitely not going to make Fern do 2 more.

It's funny that there are now 3 cats with Fern prefixes in ThunderClan lmao.

And there's been even more ferns, historically

Brackenfur was named after a type of fern. His daughter, Honeyfern, was named after him before earning that Honor Title

Ferncloud just died, Spotfur named a kit after her (not graystripe), there's also Fernsong, and now Fernstripe. In Clanmew these are all different types of fern, but they're still ferns.

It should be a running joke in other Clans that they use "fern" as the prefix for random hypothetical warriors.

Kinda like how if you're talking about Americans you'll be like, "John Hamburger visits 200 diners a minute and consumes half of the world's oil," or if you're talking about Brits you're like "Kingsley Bigglesworth is repelled by spice like a vampire to the sun, must have an IV drip of blended beans-on-toast to survive."

"Fernface hears a cat sneeze across the lake, arrives with 15 clerics and a bowl of fruit juice they call "soup", cries when you don't say thank you more than twice."

Fernstripe must have been mortified when she realized that her parents named her Fern and then she ended up joining ThunderClan, lmao

#BB!Fernstripe #Better Bones AU #BB!ASC

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eoieopda · 1 year

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jade. my soulmate. co-parent of our brain cell. the time has come—i have worked up the courage to send you a request.

i am thinking of the absolute love of my life park jimin. like estranged friends to lovers (not necessarily bad blood, just time and life caused distance between them)? fluffy like so fluffy but a hint of angst if you squint?? perhaps song inspo ‘find me here’ by hayley williams???

love u, sending this made me NERVOUS LMAO

OH, BINCH, I AM READY.

As the saying goes, two things in life are inevitable: death and taxes. As far as Park Jimin is concerned, that list is non-exhaustive, woefully incomplete. It fails to account for the one thing he knows is certain.

When he left his apartment that morning, Jimin didn’t necessarily expect to run into you. The Google calendar you once shared had been out of commission for nearly a year; and your paths hadn’t crossed in the meantime. He had no reason to know that your plans for the day included sitting riverside, sipping coffee, and watching the water. Despite that fact, it doesn’t surprise him to find you there now.

It just makes sense.

You’re daydreaming when Jimin sits down next to you. He gets so caught up in that thoughtful crease between your eyebrows that he forgets to make his presence known for more than a few minutes. You don’t even jump when he eventually decides to speak rather than stare. Finding him doesn’t seem to be a shock to you, either.

“Hey,” you sigh as if you’re relieved, and you are all smiles.

Jimin echoes your greeting in that same, soft tone, and it’s easy, like the last time he said it wasn’t twelve months ago. He’s grateful for that — for the lack of theatrics. It isn’t a dramatic reunion; there’s no gasp, no tears, no oh my gods. There’s you and him, falling into lockstep without so much as a stumble.

Glancing down at the travel mug in your hands, Jimin confirms that he knows exactly what he’s looking at. Right above your thumb, he finds the accidental dent you made in the metal when you knocked it off his kitchen counter two years earlier. The sight of it has him warm all over.

He doesn’t have to guess that it’s full of the medium roast from that café up the street, but he does have to ask: “One shot of espresso, or two?”

You grimace and Jimin knows exactly what that look means.

Eyes wide with mirth, he snorts, “Three? Shit. Don’t tell me you’re still staying up until sunrise.”

“Excuse you,” you gasp in feigned offense, swatting playfully at his bicep. Thank god some things never change. “I’ll have you know that I went to bed at midnight last night like a responsible adult!”

Jimin makes a big show of rubbing the spot where the back of your hand collided with his jacket. He relishes the way you roll your eyes at him for doing so. “Responsible is debatable, but I’ll concede that — for you — midnight is impressive.”

“I know, right?” you snicker. There’s a beat, then you blink at him expectantly. “Please clap.”

With your face lit up like that, how could he not?

“Proud of you,” He chuckles as you bow through his applause. And he means it, he really does. Sleep never came naturally to you, yet here you are, willingly going to bed before the moon does.

When it grows quiet again, that feels easy, too. It’s just as comfortable as it ever was, sitting silently next to you. Jimin realizes now just how much he’s missed this. Missed you, missed existing on the same page.

In any other circumstance, with anyone else, Jimin would feel obligated to keep the conversation going. He’d volley small talk until he was exhausted; fill every lull and refuse to let the mood hit the floor. Social interactions have always felt like endurance exercises — but not with you. Not then, and thank god, not now.

You’re looking straight ahead, shoulder leaning ever-so-slightly into his, when you eventually do speak. “Thank you.”

Now, Jimin is surprised.

“I don’t think I said it before I left, so I need to say it now,” you quietly answer before he can ask.

You turn to look at him and find that his eyes are already trained on you. It’s hard to put a finger on it, but there’s more of you now than there was the last time Jimin saw you. The glow you used to have — the one that had started to dim — was back, brighter than ever.

Happiness looks good on you, he thinks.

“I don’t think I would’ve gotten my shit together if it wasn’t for you,” You sigh. Then, you slot your fingers into the spaces between his without any hesitation at all. “I needed to — like, really needed to — but I wouldn’t have seen it if you didn’t point it out.”

Jimin squeezes the hand he didn’t want to let go of in the first place. It would’ve been selfish of him to cling to it back then, but it was a gamble not to. He threw in all his chips and hoped that you were the boomerang he thought you were; that you’d come back to him when you were ready.

You were, and are, a safe bet — one he’d take every single time — so Jimin gambles again.

He leans in slowly and you lean, too. Even though it’s the first time, the way you kiss him back feels natural.

Inevitable.

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ladyloveandjustice · 2 years

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I’m wasn’t sure I wanted to talk about it since I’m not incredibly interested in debating it, but it’s bothering me and it’s my blog so

I saw a lot of posts in the dracula daily tag that was like ‘all of that feminist analysis that said Lucy was supposed to be bad as a vampire because she turned sexual is WRONG, the horror is that she’s turned into a different person’ and even calling that feminist critique shallow or less nuanced or connecting it to second wave feminsm (and for some reason citing Kate Beaton who is 1. a cartoonist giving quick takes on several books in a funny way and 2. not from the second wave lmao please learn your history guys)

and look, I get wanting to look at Dracula through different lenses, especially since you like it now, but it’s not some be a wacky coincidence that Lucy’s human personality is ‘innocent ingenue who is the apple of every man’s eye yet would never act so seductively’ and her ‘monstrous vampire’ personality is seductive and sexual and it would be dangerous to kiss her, you’ll die. It would be incredibly unlikely in the Victorian era (or even today!) that it would ever be written the other way around, the good woman the flirtatious one and the bad personality innocent of sexuality. Whether Stoker was doing it consciously or subconsciously, societal feelings about women and sexuality are all over that.

It’s also not a wacky coincidence that the three vampire ladies menacing Jonathan are very sexual and seductive and scary and up for a four way,or that Dracula's own monstrousness is sexually coded, and part of it is his implied three lovers he doesn’t love but probably fucks (even if I love them and prefer to interpret them as weird roommates, I can acknowledge that likely wasn’t the intended interpretation).

Sure, Lucy can think about how cool it would be to marry three guys, but she’s willing to follow society’s rules. It’s when she’s a monster that she isn’t. And there’s a lot of of analysis to be had in how the scary sexually-coded predation of Dracula as a man and a ‘foreigner’ is handled vs the female vampires of the story, because it is presented very differently!

Just as there’s pretty disturbing racism and antisemitism all over Dracula, there’s gender and sex stuff too. It is, in fact, all over vampires in general, and analyzing how they’re wrapped up in anxiety about sexuality, especially anxieties about what were considered ‘fringe sexualities’ (whether internalized or externalized) and how that was wrestled with and played with through the years, is pretty fascinating! And you’re doing yourself as disservice if you ignore it. It’s often very interesting, it’s not all bad, we love our monsters, it’s part of a proud tradition, but there was a society that created it that you shouldn’t dismiss. These are very basic takes, but apparently they’re still important to talk about it, since you guys are now actively dismissing them as soon as you start liking the characters.

Just because you want to look at things from a character motivation perspective doesn’t mean the social perspective and social mores aren’t at play. It can simultaneously be true that “the horror is the Lucy is a different person” and “the horror is Lucy’s sexual forwardness”. It can be true that “there’s more to Lucy than trepidation about sexuality’ and ‘that’s almost certainly meant to be a part of her tragedy for sure’. Multiple things can coexist. If you want nuance to exist you can’t just say interpretations that conflict with you having an entirely fun time are somehow more shallow. We can love the monsters, and love the characters, but realize the way we love them now doesn’t always reflect how it would have come across to many of those who first read about it, or even most people who read it today.

#dracula daily #like i said i'm not down for an intense conversation but needed to get this off my chest

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cornflowershade · 8 months

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At this point there should just be a TopBoston “That Car” tape bingo card. See how many of the characters hear it by the end of the show asdfgh

Actually wait, out of curiosity… who has heard it? Time to be organized about this:

-Nick (recorded it)

-Sand (played by Nick)

-Ray* (played by Sand) *+ anyone unlucky enough to be within ear shot of their pool table lmao

-Mew (sent from Ray)

-Top (played by Mew)

Interestingly one person who hasn’t heard it is BOSTON. On top of that, he doesn’t even know it exists. He doesn’t know this potential blackmail is out there and ANYONE could still surprise him with it*—they all have a copy [except Top who wouldn’t wanna draw more attention to it]. (*Boston asks Ray how he knows about him and Top, and Ray dodges the question.) So LITERALLY EVERYONE in the friend group (minus Cheum) has heard the tape/knows of its existence except him. This is actually hilarious to me. Anyway: Boston has yet to either 1) find out, or 2) be told. He has to know he was spied on though... *inevitable clock ticks down to when he realizes what Nick did* Can’t be long now, right?

#ofts #only friends the series #only friends #mine

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sisterofficerlucychen · 3 months

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me looking at the clock like 👀 because will i get this valentine's day one shot posted that is literally a year late up in time? we shall see alksdjfsdla lmao.

here's a little sneak peek 😉

“What did Noah mean when he said that Bradford?” “Hmm?” Lucy stirs against his chest. Dark eyes flutter lazily as a soft sigh leaves her lips still half asleep as Tim draws circles mindlessly against her bare shoulder blade. His touch almost rhythmic, just enough to threaten to lull her back to sleep if he doesn’t stop soon. She’s in that perfect state of blissed, completely sated but worn out enough to easily need a few more hours of sleep and she blames him completely for it. It was hands down the best Valentine’s Day ever. The gold plated necklace, a fancy (and romantic) dinner, the continuation of the mind blowing sex. Lucy had been left without words when he warned she’d “need that fuel for later” but she underestimated how much he meant it. Judging by how fragments of light sneak in through the curtains she’d guess that she’s gotten some sleep. Though not quite enough as a sleepy yawn leaves her lips and she reluctantly opens her eyes. What started in the backseat of his truck continued to her bedroom which then carried on to the shower. She mistakingly thought that being pinned against the cold shower tiles as Tim’s hands explored every inch of her body while hot water fell on them was the cap to the perfect night but then his lips trailed up her thigh and she quickly realized he wasn’t quite done yet once they made their way back to bed. A vague memory exists in her mind of it being a little past three by the time she came down from the euphoric high. Her body as exhausted as her mind as Tim rolled off of her, limbs still intertwined as they both settled in each others arms and drifted off to sleep. While a few hours ago, it feels like only minutes as if she’d just shut her eyes to try and get some rest. Sleep that has clearly come to an end as he asks again and she shifts, propping herself up on an elbow as she looks at him, gazed narrowed as she debates the question while chewing on her bottom lip. “Nothing,” she settles in the most nonchalant answer she can give. “Nothing?” he repeats with a sly smirk knowing better, “you’re lying.”

#the rookie #chenford #better late than never i hope? hahaha #i swear i've been working on this for a year #and i told myself i would post it by today #i was so proud of combining four prompt requests into one bc it worked well #but i may have flown too close to the sun it seems

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atopvisenyashill · 5 days

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I read through your Jonsa meta linked in your bio and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to really love Jonsa but the part where you say J*nerys evidence is weak sauce like I do like the ship but I only want it if it doesn’t go like the show and it also isn’t just some boring king and queen of the seven kingdoms crap but do think what people call foreshadowing for the ship is no stronger than Jonsa foreshadowing but I get dog piled by other J*nerys shippers for admitting this. I do think some common evidence for Jonsa is questionable. Like that GRRM was originally going to have Janos be hung until someone ELSE pointed out that Jon would probably do it the northern way and behead him, or that lady Ashford didn’t end up with the Targaryen suitor. But even still I don’t think that the evidence for J*nerys is strong. Like sorry I don’t think Dany being called bride of fire implies she’ll marry Jon I think she already is the bride of fire. I used to hate Jonsa but I realized that I feel very neutral to it. What I hate is the thought of a love triangle with Jon, Dany, and Sansa. The idea of Dany going mad because she loves Jon but Jon loves Sansa is just so tired and boring and sexist. I understand that a lot of the spite towards J*nerys fans is earned because they can be just as spiteful but my first introductions to Jonsa were in the context of this love triangle and the attitude was so spiteful that it put a bad taste in my mouth for years. But even when I did hate it I felt like other J*nerys fans were being hypocritical when they made of Jonsas for their theories. And I got shat on and accused of being a Jonsa myself for saying so. Like it’s eyebrow raising that George revised his Stark family tree to include a marriage between a Jonnel and a Sansa. Regardless of what George originally wrote, Jon beheading Janos is compelling. I do see the vision even it’s not for me. Jon and Dany don’t know each other exist. I think the only thing that really gives J*nerys leverage is that they loved each other in the show and I’ve always had a hard time believing that George actually gave D&D like two plot points and turned them loose to do literally whatever they could come up with. If the show didn’t exist, you’d be hard pressed to convince me there was a viable chance J*nerys would happen and I really just hate the animosity between Jonsa and J*nerys shippers

I’m gonna take this point by point bc it’s kind of a lot and I want to address it all!!

do think what people call foreshadowing for the ship is no stronger than Jonsa foreshadowing but I get dog piled by other J*nerys shippers for admitting this.

LISTEN i’m glad you agree lmaoooo because my number one bitter hater issue re: the ship war IS that imo the “evidence” for both is kinda opaque, but only one is treated as being legitimate fan analysis. like, people will call sansa’s ghost wolf a reach but dany hearing the lonely wolf is full proof even tho this is the exact same thing. or the entire hullabaloo around how when you use the ashford tourney theory to be about Not Jonsa it's valid analysis but when it is about Jonsa then that's just pushing your ship. it’s the silliness of the argument that drives me crazy, that one take is considered “just starting a ship war” and one is the “proper” reading of the text. we don't know who is properly reading the text because we don't have the entire text yet!!!

I do think some common evidence for Jonsa is questionable. Like that GRRM was originally going to have Janos be hung until someone ELSE pointed out that Jon would probably do it the northern way and behead him, or that lady Ashford didn’t end up with the Targaryen suitor.

WAIT OKAY i'm not trying to convert you here lmao, merely explaining my reasoning for those because I know I talk about the Jason/Ashford thing a lot specifically so - the janos slynt thing for me is less the specificity that jon cuts his head off and more that sansa wishes for someone to kill janos for his hand in ned’s death and jon, without any knowledge of what janos did or how it affected sansa, sees straight to the sort of person janos is and executes him. more so about the idea that sansa is praying for a hero only for the hero to be the bastard brother she had dismissed, the only brother left to her now (or so she thinks). it's about the little ~invisible thread~ tying them together even when they're unaware of it.

as for the ashford tourney theory, i actually do agree that people put a little too much stock in the last targaryen suitor aspect of it BUT. EYE personally have been on that "it's hinting towards brienne" train literally since I heard it, and you can see that in the posts I've made about it, that I think it's about dunk/brienne interrupting the tourney to save sansa - it's just that part of saving sansa includes bringing her to her dark haired targaryen brother-cousin. especially bc imo valarr does feature heavily enough in the original dunk adventure, with his short scene after Baelor is killed, and how both valarr and jon have a lot of issues surrounding not measuring up to The Perfect Heir (baelor/robb), and being known for being kinda prickly, and the whole Doomed By The Narrative aspect of their characters, and this isn't something that valarr parallels with the other targaryen boy, aegon/young griff. BUT also I just think the whole convo surrounding this theory is annoying tbh alsdjf I think there are three concrete avenues it could go down (jon, aegon, or brienne, or some combo of the three even) and I find it. frustrating that this theory started out as a {redacted} theory that is clearly meant to push A Specific Ship And Reading Of The Text but if you apply the theory to literally anyone else, you get accused of doing just that. like are we not all just pushing A Specific Reading (aka OUR OWN READING) Of The Text here??

But even still I don’t think that the evidence for J*nerys is strong. Like sorry I don’t think Dany being called bride of fire implies she’ll marry Jon I think she already is the bride of fire. I used to hate Jonsa but I realized that I feel very neutral to it. What I hate is the thought of a love triangle with Jon, Dany, and Sansa. The idea of Dany going mad because she loves Jon but Jon loves Sansa is just so tired and boring and sexist.

NO YEAH. it's the same with the "blue rose" thing like.....the blue rose/bael the bard story isn't a happy one? "sweet smelling" is often used in this series as a mask for a deadly, poisonous center. I think "bride of fire" is a callback to catelyn's "wedded to his war" more than anything, that like you say, dany is already the bride of fire, she chose the fire when she burned mmd and walked into the pyre, and i kind of bristle at the idea that her being the bride of fire is tied to whatever man she's fucking. the point is that she is foregoing being the bride of a man for being the bride of fire to me!! and also VALID i don't like the love triangle angle, i don't like love triangles because i think they're usually so lopsided where you're clearly supposed to pick a specific leg of the triangle, and i just HATE the idea that either dany or sansa or jon's stories are heading to a love triangle because it's not particularly compelling to me that they're fighting over the same stupid boy (i can call him stupid, he's my son). especially as you say, the idea that dany might turn on jon because she wants his love and he won't give it - bleh. annoying, tired, been done a million times. this is why i'm also not overly fond of the idea of him being the one to kill her (but i like the idea of him taking the fall for it regardless).

I understand that a lot of the spite towards J*nerys fans is earned because they can be just as spiteful but my first introductions to Jonsa were in the context of this love triangle and the attitude was so spiteful that it put a bad taste in my mouth for years. But even when I did hate it I felt like other J*nerys fans were being hypocritical when they made of Jonsas for their theories. And I got shat on and accused of being a Jonsa myself for saying so. Like it’s eyebrow raising that George revised his Stark family tree to include a marriage between a Jonnel and a Sansa. Regardless of what George originally wrote, Jon beheading Janos is compelling. I do see the vision even it’s not for me. Jon and Dany don’t know each other exist.

i bolded that one line because YES EXACTLY it is very eyebrow raising that he revised the family tree to include that. like WHY. WHAT? imo, if there was a like a Jonos Targaryen who married a Daenerys Targaryen in the targ family tree, EVERYONE would be insisting that's Jonerys proof so I think it's funny when people brush over it. Or like, the fact that it's Jon and Sansa that dream of having children. The fact that it's only Jon and Sansa who are referred to as the blood of Winterfell. There's something here that's being hinted at, and it's compelling! I think I definitely do get being initially turned off because of the ship war - part of my initial, idk, aggressiveness towards dany on the reread was the DEADLY combo of YEARS of watching The ASOIAF{redacted but if you know u know] People dogpile jonsas and sansa stans constantly for literally just writing meta, making theories, like every other goddamn person + growing to just completely hate show!dany and emilia's acting specifically. then as i was rereading i was like oh actually book dany is not only vastly more interesting as a character than show dany's writing or acting could ever be, i also just don't have to let all the targ nation stans completely ruin a character i actually really like.

like this theory specifically by stumpy (which is another post that got dogpiled massively for no goddamn good reason by the asoiaf{redacted} people) about aegon being the sun's son and jon being the mummer's dragon set my brain on fire and made me realize so much of what i hated about dany's character was actually just the wank surrounding her. i'd completely resigned myself to the idea that jonerys was gonna happen for so long and i was so depressed ver it because i thought it was a stupid, shitty ending and i was just going to hate a large part of the ending forever and then i read that and i was like "oh actually maybe there's another option??" like who gives a shit, we're never getting the next books anyway alksjdfl. also FOR THE RECORD i also HATE the idea of a love triangle between those three, and i think i kinda break from a lot of jonsas (tho not all) in that i also don't like the idea of jon killing dany (again, i want it to be arya and for jon to take the fall. if jon is killing anyone, i like the idea of it being drogon much more than dany). like, i don't want any hetero targ fucking here. i think there could be something here in that both dany and jon feel they have to be attracted to each other but in reality are just Not Interested (for a variety of reasons) but i don't actually want them to do the deed at all and I've been firm on that since I was like, 16 lajsflkfd.

I think the only thing that really gives Jnerys leverage is that they loved each other in the show and I’ve always had a hard time believing that George actually gave D&D like two plot points and turned them loose to do literally whatever they could come up with. If the show didn’t exist, you’d be hard pressed to convince me there was a viable chance Jnerys would happen and I really just hate the animosity between Jonsa and J*nerys shippers

WAIT WAIT WAIT THIS IS WHERE SNOWSPEAR COMES IN. I can write more on that, I know i've mentioned it before, but I think that show!Dany got a lot, perhaps even most of Aegon's storyline in the books and that includes a relationship with Jon. I'm not saying they'll straight up fuck on page (george is alas too heterosexual for that) but I do think the vast majority of their story arc in season 7 where Jon is going back and forth with Dany and growing close to her while being wary of her is actually a relationship he'll have with Aegon. I think that makes much more sense thematically and also it doesn't piss me off lmao.

I think in general, they took his plot points and just kinda peppered it throughout the character's actions with no regard for whether it makes sense for that character. Or are just being straight up misleading about what it is they got from him - like their insistence that "hold the door" is from him, for example, I think in actuality here George told them that Hodor will be killed while Bran is warging him and purposefully leaving him behind, and they came up with that dumb ass hold the door -> hodor thing on their own. same for arya killing the night king - EYE think arya tries something against dany, but they gave it jon because they thought it would be more romantic (and they already combined dany and aegon) and went "well arya killing the night king would be sick as fuck, that's basically the same right?" like, i think there's something of what george wrote in there, i just think it's both confusingly folded in and also spread around a lot.

i think i even explained that to my sibling once (who doesn't read the series but does like some of the characters) that I think because they combined so many characters, that they wanted this friction between tyrion and jon, between sansa and dany, but had cut so many story lines and disregarded so many characters, that they just changed up the romance a bit (which we KNOW they do because look what they did to Jeyne W. and the entire Dornish plot).

anyways, yeah the tldr is that ship wars are stupid as shit and it's really hard to not become a hater when a large part of the fandom is constantly discounting your opinion because you ship a thing they don't like, and then claiming YOU are the one egging on the ship war when you are just existing in your goddamn corner. like i don't even use the vs tag half the time specifically because of that shit ya know. i'm not arguing whether my opinion is "right" or not with someone who thinks they're superior and smarter than me just because they think THEIR incest ship is valid but MY incest ship is gross and self projection.

#like first of all if i'm projecting onto a character it's clearly bran. no i don't want to fuck jon snow he's a baby child.#'but he's sixt-' HE'S A BABY CHILD. THAT'S AN INFANT. A LITTLE BOY.#asks #fandom wank #asoiaf wank #anons #ummmmmmmm #anti daenerys stans #idk man idk what everyone filters from me aljdsfks

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debb987 · 1 year

Text

ROTTMNT AU for Eldest Brother fic

Regarding The Eldest Brother fic, chapter 13th. So spoilers, duh! Specially if you’re reading this when I haven’t even published this chapter yet xD

Ok, so this is what happened in the inbetween of Raph’s toddler years and his encounter with Draxum, at least in the head of this silly author~ but honestly? If the author doesn’t show it in the story, then it’s up to the readers to fill up the blanks and your hcs are as canon as the author’s writing (someone please tell JK Rowling this xD). Anything you can come up with that fits, it’s cannon for this fic! It’s as valid as the idea living rent-free in my head if not stated otherwise in a future chapter! n.n

Below are spoilers (maybe) for the fic, this is your last warning~ please also consider it’s the bare bones of it.

Draxum goes to the surface, following the trail of Splinter. Draxum finds their different hideouts a few times — Splinter didn’t go directly to the sewers. Honestly, it wouldn’t be my first option either! — so Splinter fends off Draxum while Raph grabs his brothers and flees every single time.

The Head Council of Hidden City thinks Draxum is starting to cause too much havoc — it’s not like Draxum gives a flying fuck about discretion or collateral damage tbh — and wants to avoid a war against humanity, thus send their own tropes to arrest Draxum (as they should have done from the beginning instead of relying on Mayhem only, the idiots!)

Draxum is imprisoned in an anti-mystic area (because the police have these little balls for that same purpose, as shown in Hidden City's Most Wanted, their existence is glossed over but THERE) so he stays incarcerated for quite a while until one day, Big Mama offers to take him out of prison, so he can continue his work. She doesn’t tell him she wants the mutagen to create more fighters for Battle Nexus and couldn’t care less about the prophecy, and she is not stupid enough to let him free at full power, so the area she offers for him to work at is “anti-mystic” just like his prison cell, and heavily guarded by Big Mama's goons.

Draxum just has more freedom of movement and a way to continue what he had intended to since the very beginning, just no longer on his terms, and with Subject One no longer at his side.

No more soldiers, no more experiments. Just perfect the formula and mass produce it. No deviations.

Draxum has little choice but to agree with her terms, and thus is on “house arrest”, working on the mutagen in “exchange” of having Big Mama and the gargoyles search for Subject One and bring the snapper to him once found.

Big Mama thinks that’s a distractor, so she doesn’t really lift a finger to find Raph. She just has his existence noted at the back of her mind in case Draxum starts to get out of control, so she can use “Subject One” as incentive for the alchemist to behave.

The gargoyles are the only ones actively searching, but only mildly. They’re silly and care just about themselves more than anything else, but some of the things Draxum put Subject One through were kinda harsh even by their standards, so when they do find Raph they just go:

“Oh there he is! Maybe let him grow a bit before we report it?”

“I like how you think!”

And promptly forget to actually report on it lmao. So, that’s how Raph gets to have a semblance of a normal life with Splinter and his fam, at least for a while <3

Draxum at some point realizes he’s being used and releases the oozequitos in NYC before Big Mama can use them for Battle Nexus, so our turtle teens had no hand on that. They just get to witness the insects in action one day, go "is the police of Hidden City handling that? No? Ok, guess we should lend a hand or smth" and thus the series begins.

Big Mama is pissed about it, so she enacts punishment (have not decided on which yet atm) and ultimately dumps Draxum’s butt back in prison, back to his cell, where he remains until the Foot Clan breaks him out, with promises of grandeur and this shiny mystic armor that would make him powerful enough to be able to subjugate the human race with no army needed, just himself! Ain’t that neat? No tricks or anything, obviously...

Draxum agrees, and then ch 13 happens.

So Draxum is basically imprisoned and used, time and again, to fulfill someone else’s agenda and goals ever since Raph’s escape, which is exactly what he did / would have put Raph through. Karma, sweet karma <3

As for the mystic weapons, in my head our Rise!Turtles got them in the Hidden City thanks to Leo and Mikey, who charmed over the mafia with their excellent service in Huesos’ establishment, because in this AU they were younger when they started to venture out to NYC and the Hidden City, and I imagine a lot of their shenanigans happened all the same regardless of age difference xD

And that’s it~ thanks for reading this background lore if you bothered to <3 Hopefully you’re reading this after Jan 6th, 2023 when Chapter 13th is published and not sooner *author stares intently*

*Reader may or may not feel their sins crawling on their back* (yes, I like Undertale too ksks)

See ya’ later~ dEBB987.

#rottmnt fanfiction #rise raph #rottmnt raph #rottmnt draxum #eldest brother #tmnt crossover #rottmnt crossover #fanfic #the eldest brother tmnt #Deb writes

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crystillyzed · 1 year

Text

[ 03:25 ]

character(s): shu yamino

warning(s): unedited, awkwardness between u two lmao

a/n: i pretend my drafts do not exist /hj

“Ah —”

THUNK.

Your back thuds against the wall, forearms held up tight against your chest. The darkness doesn’t really help, considering you JUST tripped over yourself and hit the wall. Well, at least you didn’t hit your head this time.

“…Are you okay?” His voice cuts through the silence, soft yet loud enough for only your ears to hear.

Huh, that’s weird. Isn’t Shu right in front of you?

With a nod, you quietly respond. “Y — yeah. You?”

“Me? Oh, I’m fine. I’m just, worried about you, y’know?”

“Oh. Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. But um…”

As realization dawned upon you, you felt your cheeks burn up out of embarrassment.

You lift your head from the ground, tilting upwards to meet his face which was only a small distance away from yours. Luckily, the room wasn’t completely dark, thanks to the very dim lights in the closet in desperate need of lightbulb replacements. Not to mention the light slipping in from the hallway through the door cracks. You could see his head slightly turned towards the door, but that wasn’t what surprised you the most.

“Could you, um… get off of me, please?”

An eyebrow raises while you let out an uneasy chuckle.

“Get off of…” His violet gaze trails from the shut door towards his arms against the wall then you, the person who he currently has pinned between said arms.

Blinking a couple times, he looks back and forth between his pressed forearms and a blushing you averting your gaze from him. Heat rises to his face, burning up into a flustered red. Immediately pushing himself off of you, he stammers, “O — oh! Yeah, I, um — uh… Sorry — sorry about th — that.”

“N — no! No need to be sorry! I, um… Y — yeah…!” An awkward laugh comes out of you as you stumble around your words. Stupid heart, stop doing that!

“Should — should we try to — y’know, leave?” Shu suggests after clearing his throat. “I — I mean, um, we did get what we needed so…”

“Yeah, yep! We should! Let’s not keep the others waiting… You, uh, you first.”

“Oh, um, okay. Don’t forget the uh… the cables.”

“I won’t.”

“Good, good.” He quickly turns on his heel as to hide the obvious embarrassment from you. With a couple steps and his hand latched onto the doorknob, he slightly twists it but pauses. With a deep breath, he clears his throat and turns back to look at you who’s gathering a couple microphone cables. Calling out your name, you look up from your handiwork.

“…Are you free after this?”

#luxiem #shu yamino #shu yamino x reader #luxiem x reader #nijien #nijisanji #— a simple dream // writing

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insane4fandoms · 1 year

Text

Only Mack

We do love a sequel

@crazy-obsessed-enby @neons-trash-blog

Also I woke up from my slumber to write this, lmao

꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂꧁꧂

The downside of having an egotistical, sociopathic, and horny obsessive fictional character turned sentient that is able to control every electronic you own and more, is that it made you realize how great it was being alone.

What a great sentence to start this story, am I right?

Anyways, that statement is true however, since at the wonderful hour of 5 am, you were awoken by a suddenly electric jolt going down your back, making you yelp in pain, sitting up straight out of fear.

“Now Viewer, up and rise for the start of this new day!” You closed your eyes and sucked in some air, preparing yourself for the whole day of shocks and that annoying soothing voice.

“Honestly, I’m sure you would be used to my ‘love touches’, by now,” Mack gave a condescending laugh, as if you would laugh with him. He gave that damn smirk while fake wiping tears.

You gave the phone a glare, turning it over and trudging yourself to the bathroom, the one out place where Mack can’t follow unless you take him (as if you would take him anywhere to where he gets to see you without clothes).

“Just because I can’t see you, doesn’t mean I can’t imagine you~!” You face turned red at Mack’s words, wishing you could just grab the phone and smash it to pieces, but that would be futile to do so considering he’ll come back in another screen.

Computers, phones, tv, headphones, Apple Watch, hell, even your tamagotchi he managed to get into! Not only that, but you’re pretty sure he’s a sadist considering he loves shocking whenever you pet your guard down, and claims it was his ‘love bites’.

You should have destroyed every single electronic the moment he became sentient, yet you allowed his words life you into a trap you know you could never escape now. You reluctantly trudged out of the bathroom and made your way to the computer, looking so fine when he popped up on the screen.

“Morning handsome and/or beautiful. You love it when I say that, right~?” He cooed, making you wish he actually existed so you could punch his irritating, yet charming face.

I mean, he technically does exist in real life, you thought, thinking of Matpat. Is he aware of Matt? And if so, does he get jealous when you watch game and film theories? Would he try and stop you?

“Go on! Write another story about how much you tremble from my words~,” Your ear tips heat up from embarrassment, but merely avoided him and placed the curser to the chrome icon. Google Docs was your favorite place to be.

“How about you write another spicy one~? I know how much you love me like that~,” You merely sighed, feeling embarrassed and began to write. For a while, he was suspiciously quiet, since usually he would comment on your writing, but it was like he wasn’t there at all.

That made you a little uneasy.

That was until you suddenly jumped and pushed your chair away from the computer out of fear when an electric hand shot out of screen quickly. Your chest was rising rapidly in a panic, but soon melted into annoyance when you heard Mack laughing hysterically.

“That never gets old,” He sighed lovingly, enjoying your fearful expression. You gave him a glare, leering at the static hand. But suddenly, something popped inside your head, and you just stared at the retreating hand.

You’re not sure where and why, but you impulsively jumped up from where you sat, and grabbed the hand, shuddering at the static jolt. Mack yelped a little, never feeling your touch before, and it was so sudden too.

“What are you-?!” You cut him off as you suddenly leaned in, and gave him a kiss. You can’t believe it, your first kiss and it’s with a psychotic sentient computer ai sadist. You wished it could have gone differently, yet it was the heat of the moment and you just went for it.

Your lips your numb instantly, it felt like sticking your tongue on a battery, yet you were rough and passionate, only hearing the spluttering of Mack. 5 seconds felt like forever, but you eventually pulled away, letting the hand disappear.

You gave a small smile, wiping your mouth with your sleeve. Maybe his presence awoken something in you, or maybe his actions finally broke you. Either way, you knew that what you did made you both feel a little hot.

He confirmed that when he finally had a dark glint in his eyes, a sinister grin appeared as the screen glitched a little bit. You simply had a innocent smile on your face and gave him a wink.

You know exactly where this might head to.

“Do that again,”

#in space with markiplier #iswm #iswm mack #iswm x reader

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lover-of-mine · 1 month

Note

hi anna i’m glad to hear you’ve rested! 😊

i just had a ?? moment so thought i would share to see what you think

i know they’re saying that buck’s jealousy and ‘wanting attention’ has nothing to do with eddie, he wanted tommy’s attention not eddie’s… but him being insecure about chris doesn’t fit into that? he complains to maddie that chris thinks tommy is so cool and then tommy basically has to reassure him that buck could never be replaced in chris’ life… but then they say it’s got nothing to do with eddie?? buck was jealous of eddie bc he wanted to be in his position spending time with tommy… okay. so are we suggesting he was also jealous of chris for the same reason?? lmao no way, he was insecure about chris liking tommy more than he likes buck, and that does NOT fit with the ‘tommy was buck’s focus not eddie’ explanation

do you get what i mean? 😅

Hi, darling, thank you 🩷, and, like, I get what you mean, but I also do think that this is all gonna lead to Buck sitting down and being like "oh shit it wasn't about Tommy" in the future and then gasoline will be poured on our slow burn. Because it doesn't make sense if it's only about Tommy, I think Buck was experiencing a strong case of "I want to be in the middle" because you have Eddie, who's everything Eddie is, and you have Tommy, this guy Buck has a crush on he doesn't have the tools to process yet, so he was feeling ignored on all fronts, but since he was confronted with the "oh I'm attracted to Tommy" first, he just accepts that his behavior is about Tommy, even though we know it wasn't, because, yeah, he wouldn't get insecure about Chris if it was only about missing out on Tommy and the whole gym scene doesn't really add up to Tommy either, because Buck was behaving like that before he knew the person on the phone with Eddie is Tommy, and he was acting like that before the ball gets there and he can just say he wants Eddie to invite him so he can see Tommy again. Because, again, the whole thing starts at the hangar, with Buck being there with Tommy outside of Eddie, so Buck knows how to contact Tommy himself, so why wouldn't he just call Tommy? You don't need Eddie to be this involved on Buck finding out he's bi if they are not planning on going back and making Buck reevaluate what his feelings for Eddie might be. Narratively speaking, from a storytelling perspective and from a business perspective, to make Buck bi and not go there with buddie is dumb, but Buck is settled in his relationship with Eddie, so he would never find out he might be attracted to him or men in general alone. We all have been saying someone would need to slam Buck into the realization for years, but you can't really have that person be Eddie, because with the way Buck acts with romantic relationships, if you, for instance, make Eddie kiss him, you risk making it seem like Buck isn't really into Eddie, he's just so scared of losing him, that he would even go there to keep him, and that would put some huge cracks in their relationship, because Eddie himself could end up feeling this way while Buck tumbles through the discovery, and that would be bad. The whole thing is that Buck needs to accept that he's into men before he can actually process the idea that he might be into Eddie. I don't know if it's my demi Eddie believes, my belief that Eddie has been semi aware he's in love with Buck since s3, or just the general way Eddie has existed around Buck since he got introduced, but I kinda think that if they are going the route of Buck needed to understand he's into men and Eddie needs to understand he's into Buck, that does make sense.

Not that the groundwork for the both of them to be in love with each other is not there, but Buck had a thing going with men in general, that Eddie mostly only has with Buck, and I think that making Buck accept he's bi outside of Eddie, to work on that outside of buddie, and then have Buck go for it would make Buck's bisexuality a lot more complex, which honestly, I think it's the goal here, Buck can be great representation and to have that with a guy that looks like Buck makes my bisexual ass want to cry. But since I'm hoping for Eddie to be on the ace spectrum, to have his queer storyline attached to Buck would make sense, because he can have a nice "oh I have a family with the guy, this is why no one else feels right" and then if they decide to go there, which I didn't think they would, but hey, Buck actually kissed a guy so I'm shooting for the sky now, you can have Eddie figuring out he's demi be attached to his thing with the expectations that come with being a man and what that's supposed to look like and the whole thing he was always expected to be "The Man" and that he dodges the whole dating thing that hard because he's not interested in casual intimacy and it could be beautiful. I think they are trying to make the point that Buck's bisexuality is not about Eddie, which it isn't, but that we are still gonna get to the point of Buck being like "maybe I do want Eddie's attention more than I realized" and then something is gonna happen. And seriously, Ryan, the captain of the buddie ship since day 1, wouldn't be down right giddy talking about how much closer Buck and Eddie are gonna get if Buck was just going to get a new boyfriend and they wouldn't tie it back to buddie. They are playing the long game here.

#the slowburn will keep slowburning #half the ship was handed to tools to figure out he wants this #he just needs to figure that out before something happens #i dont wanna say I'm confident but i am optimistic #right now at least #i did experience the whole spectrum of human emotion about this since the episode ended #but i am optimistic #i don't see why they would make Buck bi in season 7 not to make buddie canon #god this got long and this feels like a tangent sorry kapkapakaoaa #911 #911 spoilers #i really need a tag for asks #anon 😌

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sweet-citrus-candy · 1 year

Text

airport crush ft. lev haiba

summary: at the airport you spot a cute silver haired boy and you absolutely must get his number! but as you walk run away you realize you forgot to ask for it :(

warnings: none! but i do sometimes add little comments in parentheses- i can’t help it lmao (also this is during high school era!)

this is another silly little fic based off a dream i had (in my dream the lady at the gate’s desk had a vision of the plane crashing but it never did thankfully)

———————————————————————

*beep beep*

“eurgh what’s that sound? it’s so loud and annoying,” you think to yourself groggily.

fumbling your hand around with your eyes still closed, you find the source of the irritating noise. instead of opening your eyes to press one of the buttons on the phone screen, you silence the alarm by clicking the power button.

turning onto your side and adjusting the blanket, you sigh and then mutter to no one in particular, “five more minutes.”

you doze off once more until,

*beep beep*

you wake up again, but this time you begrudgingly sit up even though the comfortable bed calls to you and urges you to stay asleep.

“man, how do morning people exist??”

as you sit there wondering why in the world you would choose to get up at 8 in the morning, you realize that you have a flight today. wait a minute… you have a flight to catch?! at 8 am?! no wait- the flight is at 12 pm, so you have plenty of time. your heart calms down; no need to panic (too late for that lmao)! although getting ready 4 hours early seems ridiculous, you want to make sure there’s no chance of you missing the plane (which is some sort of phenomenon that seems to overtake dads- someone should do a study on this behavior…).

opening your phone, you read through your notifications and double check that the person dropping you off at the airport and the other person picking you up are still available. rolling out of bed and putting on cozy slippers, you trudge over to the bathroom to do your morning routine. washing your face helps you wake up, and you feel more ready for the day’s events.

when you walk back into your room, you put on the outfit you decided to wear to the airport. sweatpants and a t-shirt will be comfortable to wear during a long flight, and you make sure to have a sweatshirt as well in case the person next to you decides to blast their ac. perhaps it isn’t the most fashionable, but it doesn’t really matter as many other people also dress for comfort on long trips.

grabbing your phone, you head downstairs to the kitchen to eat breakfast. when you finish, you double check to make sure you have your ticket and passport, and that your suitcase is entirely packed. the few items that aren’t packed yet, like your toothbrush, will go into your carry-on.

your friend drives you to the airport and hugs you goodbye with promises to keep in touch until you see each other again.

inside the airport, you check in with the airline and go through security. now you have a little over two hours to explore before having to board the plane. as you ride the moving walkway, you wonder where you should go to pass the time. in the distance you see an array of stores, ranging from selling souvenirs to books and magazines. you don’t feel the need to buy any souvenirs yet, but you still want to look around. there are a lot of fun trinkets to look at and play with, and it’s always a fun game to see if any of the keychains have your name on them.

as you look at the variety of magnets to consider adding to your collection, you notice something bright red out of the corner of your eye. you turn your head, curious as to what caught your attention. the thing in question turns out to be a jacket. a sports jacket to be more specific. the back reads “nekoma”.

you wonder whether or not you have seen that name before. after pondering for a good minute, you remember seeing a section in the newspaper mentioning the school. something about a “garbage war”. or was it a “trash fight”? “dumpster battle” maybe?

sneaking another glance at the person wearing the red jacket, your jaw drops. he’s so tall! and his legs seem to go on for miles! “he must be an olympian or something” you think, amazed by his height.

you turn to look back at the magnets after admiring his tall figure when you do a double take. how did you not notice his hair the first two times you stared at him? it’s a beautiful silver color, making you wonder how you could have missed a detail like that. not a lot of people have entirely silver hair at a young age.

your staring must have made the person feel like they are being watched, because the next moment he looks up and tries to figure out who was looking at him with such intensity.

you don’t react quickly enough, resulting in your eyes meeting. you can feel your face heat up instantly, but the person only smiles and waves. not only that, he starts walking in your direction?!

“hi, my name is lev! were you looking at me?”

“uh yeah haha,” you say a bit nervously because you got caught, “i’m y/n.”

your breath is taken away as you notice his mesmerizing emerald green eyes and sharp facial features. “damn is he a model or an olympian? or both?” you mutter to yourself.

lev heard you and laughed; “neither actually! i do play volleyball at school though! i’m a first year!”

“WHAT? FIRST YEAR? NO WAY!” you exclaim. more calmly you add on, “i’m also a first year”.

“so what school do you go to? i go to nekoma high in tokyo!” lev says excitedly.

“oh, i go to ________ (any of the other schools besides nekoma),” you respond.

“no way! their volleyball team is really good! i’ll make sure to beat them though as soon as i’m nekoma’s ace!”

“woah you must be pretty good then! the only times i played volleyball was in gym class hahah. must be more fun to be on an actual team, right?”

“sure is! i’m what they call an outside hitter, or a spiker. a lot of people prefer to be called outside hitters, but i don’t mind either one. they both sound cool!”

“oh wow that position is really admirable! i would love to see it in person sometime!”

“you should definitely come to one of my games! we have one coming up pretty soon actually. i’ll send you the details as soon as i get them. here’s my numb-”

“LEV! are you in here?! come on we’ve got to go now or we’ll miss the plane!” someone calls out from the entrance of the souvenir store.

“oh shoot, that’s right! nice meeting you, but i’ve got to go! bye!” he waves smiling.

“have a safe flight!” you respond cheerfully.

remembering that you also have a flight soon, you pull out your phone to check the time. oh no, they’re going to start boarding soon! as you exit the store and run towards the gate, you realize that you didn’t get a chance to exchange numbers with lev.

there wasn’t anytime to worry about that though, since they had begun boarding the passengers. the best solution you could come up with at the moment was to just keep an eye out for any upcoming matches via the internet.

you reach the gate which luckily wasn’t too far away, and pull out your ticket and passport.

“will group c please board the plane. group c. thank you,” comes a voice on the announcement intercom.

this is your group. group a is for priority flyers such as first class whilst group b is for business class. groups c and past are for economy.

you give your ticket to the person scanning them and show them your passport. they confirm your registration and tell you to have a safe flight.

you take a seat near the back of the plane and turn your phone on airplane mode. you rummage around your carry-on looking for a book before placing your bag on the ground under your seat. you decide you’re going to read and listen to music for a bit before putting on a movie to entertain yourself during the long flight.

the flight attendants begin to make their mandatory safety announcement, so you close your book and place it beside you on the empty seat.

as they’re nearing the end of the buckle demonstration, your line of sight is interrupted by a silver blob in the seat a few rows ahead of you. you blink a few times. it’s still there. you lean forward a little to try and see what it is. wait… why does it look familiar? lev? no it couldn’t be. could it? you decide to wait until the light indicating seat belts must be worn turns off before investigating.

when you’re allowed to get up, you start moving towards the silvery blob, pretending to go to the bathroom. you can’t see the person’s face well from the angle you’re at, so you tap the person’s shoulder.

“excuse me, but-“

“oh sorry am i-“

“it’s you!” both of you say at the same time.

you didn’t recognize lev at first because he had changed out of his sports jacket and into a cozy sweatshirt.

“i can’t believe you’re on my plane! it’s like fate since we didn’t get a chance to share numbers,” he says beaming.

“yeah! i’m really surp-“

“hey kiddos, sorry to interrupt but you’re hogging the aisle,” says a sweet old man.

“oh i’m so sorry! i didn’t notice!” you respond hastily, “come sit next to me lev.”

“won’t we get in trouble for switching seats?” he asks while getting up (no hesitation whatsoever- head empty. he’s ready to do whatever you say).

“not on this airline. don’t worry i’ve flown with them before and they allow it.”

“can i have the aisle seat? it’ll be easier for me to get up if i need to go to the bathroom or something.”

“yeah sure. i don’t mind at all,” you say.

you place your book back into your bag and sit in the previously empty seat.

“thanks for keeping my seat warm,” he teases.

“anything for you, your majesty,” you joke back.

you continue talking to lev and cracking jokes for a good hour or so. honestly, you’re not sure how much time has passed, and you don’t really care. the two of you eventually put on a movie, and although you don’t usually fall asleep during them, you start to feel your eyes close. it was a busy day today, and you’re exhausted.

“can i lean my head on your arm?” you ask.

“hm can i hold your hand if i let you?”

“mm yeah,” you say as your face heats up.

you’re glad that you decided to browse the souvenir shop before boarding the plane. meeting lev was definitely worth waking up incredibly early.

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