#but i also don't think buck can truly trust them enough
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Going from your Gojo analysis tags, i always wondered if Gojo truly has any other friends besides Geto, at first i thought Shoko but unlikely considering how limited alot of characters are. What do you think? Why is he always annoying his adult peers (except Shoko iirc)
I always believed that trust Gojo shares with some sorcerers like Nanami, Ijichi, Utahime is more on the line of pure comradaire rather than friendship and it also reminds me of when Nanami said he trusts Gojo but does not respect him.
There are several reasons why Gojo might choose to clown on others rather than pursue friendship. Off the top of my head,. Gojo could deliberately subverts the rules of authority figures and annoys his adult peers, because he can, and he can get away with it. IE: What better way to show that you want to defy the elders then bucking their traditions right in front of them, and knowing they can’t do anything because they need you to exorcise curses. He might annoy and act disrespect his peers because he genuinely looks down on them. He might not just understand other people well enough to understand when he’s being offensive. He might not care to understand either.
Whatever reason he may have, Gojo chooses to be alone. Kenjaku summerized Gojo in one question and answer, “Do you know when Satoru Gojo is in his element? It’s when he’s alone...”
There are lots of possible interpretations as to why he avoids making other friends, but I would say it’s pretty deliberate on Gege’s part as an author he is showing us that Gojo is not someone who makes friends, or cares to make friends, he is extremely isolated as an individual. We don't know if Gojo still thinks that way, but when he was younger Gojo genuinely thought he didn't have to think respect authority or kowtow to people weaker than him.
Gojo doesn't like filtering himself, or impeding himself in any way in consideration for others. Therefore, manners and social decorum are a completely foreign concept for him. It makes sense he would behave that way, Gojo is basically the only person in the Gojo clan who can use their technique, making him a one man show. The power he was born with gives him a lot of freedom and ability that others simply don't have. He doesn't think about limiting himself or acting out of consideration for the weak when he's young and immature because he's never had to.
There's a quote in Gojo's character profile, "He doesn't have any hobbies (he can do almost anything)." Gojo is like someone who would pick up a violin, play a masterpiece, and then immediately put it down. Gege mentions in interviews that Gojo is probably insanely popular with women but Geto is the one who'd make a good boyfriend. In essence, Gojo's incredible abilities, and privileges sort of cripple him in a way too because for the most part he's so above others it's hard for him to take an interest in him. Of course, Gojo shows concern in his own way, he notices small details about Geto, he grows to care about Riko and prioritizes her over the mission and takes her on vacation as his way of being considerate to her. It's not that Gojo is incapable of sympathy for other people, or that he can't grow close to others, but also as a habit he usually avoids it. Geto, the person he got the closest too, was also the only other person as strong as him and that probably played a factor.
For example, Gojo ruthlesly mocks Utahime (even as an adult), but for the most part has a respectful working relationship with Mei Mei. His reasoning being it's pointless to pick on Mei Mei she's strong, whereas Utahime is weak. However, as people Gojo doesn't really notice the finer details of who they are or pay attention to them. Mei Mei is strong, but she also takes advantage of her younger brother and is essentially grooming him into being devoted to her entirely. Utahime on the other hand is someone much more alligned with Gojo's dream of supporting the younger generation, because she shows more genuine concern for the Kyoto kids, works with them as a team, and they all respect her as a teacher. Her class also shows a lot more group cohesion as a unit. Gojo in general has a tendency to just, not notice the finer details or nuances about people because he's not looking. (Also apparently, one of the reasons he constantly jokes around with Utahime is he doesn't understand that she's not in on the joke and doesn't find it funny. Which like I said, Gojo being people blind).
Gojo is also, someone who reflects the extremes of sorcery society. He is the peak of Jujutsu, in good ways and bad. Gojo is really just repeating a pattern that a lot of sorcerers do, they don't form strong bonds or attachments to one another.
It's the nature of being a sorcerer that even if you are friendly or value your comrades, sorcerers tend to work alone as a whole and avoid close attachment. You say Gojo is friendless but here's a question, does Nanami have friends? Does Nanami have people he hangs out after work? We see when he was younger Nanami had a classmate he was close and worked with often, and he gets brutally murdered when Nanami is helpless to stop him.
It's the attitude of most sorcerers not to form close attachments to your comrades when you can die at any time, and as Gojo says "You'll always die alone." Gojo is just on the extreme end of that behavior. He doesn't observe any kind of social decorum, he deliberately isolates himself, and he doesn't really pay attention to the small details when it comes to people. I think he can see and understand other people's feelings, but whether or not he's looking is a different matter. On the other hand he's just acting the way a lot of sorcerers act. There's lots of characters that eschew personal relationships out of the fear of losing them. Gojo is just once again, on the extreme hend of that kind of toxicity.
And yeah, not having any relationships outside of your work relationships is toxic in that it's not really a thing healthy individuals do. Individualism itself isn't toxic, but sorcerer society emphasizing being a strong individual over all else is. I'd say for Shoko it's mentioned in an interview Shoko is a neutral party between Sorcerer Society and Gojo, but tends to help Gojo, but if they didn't form a deeper relationship it's probably because Gojo didn't pursue it. Shoko isn't totally avoidant when it comes to people, she has a close personal friendship with Utahime and even stopped smoking for her sake. Once again though, there's a contrast between Gojo and Utahime. Utahime treats her students differently than Gojo does, and they seem to respect her more. Utahime treats Shoko differently that Gojo does, and they have an actual friendship developed between the two of them. So, it's not impossible for people in sorcerer society to form these kind of connections, Gojo either doesn't bother, is too afraid of the loss, or just doesn't see people take your pick of which one.
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The Fear of Repeated Disappointment
As I once again fall into my semi regular 911 spiral, I feel my anxiety continuing to rise, which sucks.
I am so scared that a similar thing will happen with 911, at least to some degree, that happened with Supernatural. Supernatural was my comfort show, my underlying obsession, a reassuring constant as new fixations came and went. I used to watch at least my favorite episodes every few months for almost 15 years. I have not watched it since watching the final episode. The way they ended it, invalidating so much love, resilience and struggle in the process hurt so much, I just don't know how to love it again.
I don't think this will happen 100% with 911 because it consistently has WAY fewer problems, and I have WAY more confidence in the writers/producers/etc. There are also so many more areas in which I trust they will end the stories well. AND I know myself well enough to know that if Buddie does not go cannon by the final episode of the show, a part of me will always be sad, disappointed, and upset when I rewatch it.
To me, it has always felt and looked as if Eddie was intended, since his first introduction to be the eventual and final love interest of Buck. (I have endless things to say about this, so hit me up if you are interested!) That being said, I think that up until the last few seasons, there is a strong argument for this just being "seeing what I want to see". NOW however, this no longer feels applicable.
I can no longer see a justification for them loving each other as only friends. I have friends who are more like family, as in, I would not be 100% surprised to be named as the responsible party for their child in the event of their death. I know what this kind of love is, what it looks like and it is NOT how they relate to each other, at least not any more. Both Oliver and Ryan are amazing actors, and have made these changes by choice. From what I know of them they are both good people, and would not knowingly lead on their fans...
It makes me feel torn constantly between optimism and pessimism, between hope and the realities of my experiences, between thinking the world can change, and feeling as if hate and ignorance will always win out.
Because for me, that is what it now comes down to. If one of them was female OR a bi or gay side character instead the two 'straight' leading males THEY WOULD BE END GAME. Without question. Without a doubt. No matter what. So, to me, it has now become a question of if a show on Fox will truly be the first show (at least in my knowledge) to have both of its leading "straight" characters actually fall for each other? I just don't know, and that is what scares me.
Based on my experience, they won't. And yet....they have handled so many stories that I thought they would do a poor job with, and they have done well. They haven't forgot about plot lines that I assumed they would.... I find myself trusting them more then I have with most previous shows, but still.... It just makes me wish I could trust that this world was filled with a little more love, acceptance and freedom...
I really really hope that 911 can do what Supernatural, Merlin, Sherlock and countless others have failed to do. I want it to give me validation, hope, joy. To say I will cry if it actually happens in an understatement. With so many heroes being revealed to be villains recently, it would be something quite spectacular to have 911 actually validate love coming in all different forms, at different times, and in unexpected ways.
#9 1 1 on fox#911 fox#911#supernatural#spn#9 1 1 fandom#buddie#evan buck buckely#eddie daiz#oliver stark#ryan guzman
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Since Coto was the wone writing the episode where Lucy and Taylor was supposed to have their confrontation about the love triangle, suddenly the episode he wrote and directed having these two characters have "jumpscare" moments doesn't sound as surprising at all lmao. It may be Kristen who had the idea, but he was trusted with that plot thread again. He was also the one writing Taylor and Buck sticking it out primarily because Taylor has nowhere else to leave in 5x13.
He has never been on Buddie side. He's on "twisting toxic relationships into something 'palatable'" side and it's even more apparent under Kristen's command because he also happened to write the episode whose opening episode is a long and drawn-out cheating where the adulterery is depicted as fun and the adulterers ended up looking more symphatetic, because of the physical harm, than the one being cheated on.
I can't and won't speak for others, *clearly* it's me and a select few on an island re: nothing was gonna happen with Buddie because of what we read and saw, but people ran with the idea that 6B was hitting the gas on making them canon and then fell back on "rewrites" when their hopes were crushed.
But when I would say certain writers are "on Buddie's side" I meant that (I assumed) they were more open to the idea compared to the ones who weren't "trusted" with creating scenes/dialogue to develop the relationship on a regular basis. After s6, specifically 6A (because that's when I had my "This ain't gonna be good" realization), I can no longer make "connections" between writers and the potential plot of an episode. Coto as a writer doesn't mean as much as it did going into this season. Same can be said about Lyndsey and Andrew. They're moving in whatever direction "makes sense" for a particular week.
2. You brought up something that doesn't get enough recognition, something I briefly mentioned after 6x17 because of the way Bucktalia was dealt with:
Coto isn't co-showrunner, but he IS an EP like Kristen (and so is Lyndsey) so his perspective, his thought process holds more weight because he's on that level. The one part of 6B we know he came up with was Buck dying...which went...nowhere unless you were reading between the lines, ie Buck having ~realizations~ about life being a gift after talking to Natalia, we just didn't see it because...the show was trying to appeal to the folks who "miss the friendship"? Idk.
We don't know how he felt about Taylor as a character. Or Lucy. Or Natalia right now.
We also don't know how he feels about Buddie as a romantic pairing.
What we *do* know is that he's in the age range of the audience the show is *truly* geared towards - those watching for Angela and Peter - so we should be able to recognize and accept that he's helping to write the story lines he, too, thinks the general audience wants to see. (And just to further emphasize this point, consider the drama he's in the midst of developing for CBS. It's a family of first responders a la Blue Bloods, probably to take up the space left by that series when it's eventually axed.)
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Alright- finally getting around to the last episode of Picard, and I figure why not liveblog it:
It is still SOOO unclear to me why the fuck the Changelings are even bothering to help the Borg. I guess their conceptual mission (conquer everyone) is pretty similar, but.... that feels like. Not enough.
It is very nostalgic to see everyone on the Enterprise-D, though. I can't deny that. Picard's got me there.
WHY is Jack the command signal? It remains stupid. I genuinely thought the Pah Wraith theory was more interesting than this aiuwhefs;djlk';
I do love the Borg cube's exterior design, though- its so iconic, and seeing it rendered with modern graphics
Awww poor little cook- but also he had to run the deli because his brother "had a hernia"..... sir. You're in the future. Why would that stop anyone from doing anything for longer than like. a day. I think your brother was lying to you.
Okay, I'm gonna be so real- am I the only one who kinda doesn't give a shit about Jack? I get he's there to add some stakes, but I truly don't care at all. Explode him idgaf.
If the idea is to wake Jack up from his evil slumber then why would you not send Beverley....? Who, ya know, raised him?
"And I will make it a threesome" Okay i love you Worf
Okay- like I said, I am not immune to nostalgia, "it's been an honor serving with you all" OKAY, fine Daddy Picard you got me.
Also a lot of long lingering looks between Deanna and Will... Makes me think one of them might not make it out alive
You know it really is so telling how much of the original Borg design, from the ship to the interiors, they kept. Tells you how impressive it was the first time around. It is just so creepy and excellent.
Cool. Picard has magical Borg senses.
Fine fine, the Riker/Picard/Worf scene was sweet. Can you tell that I'm a willing sap for alllll the TNG nostalgia?
LMAO I'm SORRY i actually love the camp excellence of the Borg Queen emerging from the shadows to cackle evilly
Okay HELL yeah for a Seven of Nine "Big Damn Captain" speech
This is just so funny. The Borg queen is so so fucking funny. Why is she so melodramatic. Real Miette energy.
Oh this changeling connection is dumb as hell
Worf's Bat'leth with a built in phaser is COOL okay. Sometimes I am a teenage boy.
I am not immune to TNG theme music
I am also not immune to people who have trusted each other for a lifetime coming together again. Geordi trusting Data's gut.
Ahhhh the classic "all hope is lost" moment, how I love thee
I'm sorry to say it, I really am because its the emotional heart of the story, but I just don't care about Jack
LMAO conflict solved with a hug from dad- Christ the daddy issues on star trek continue to astonish and amaze
Longest "one minute to get out" ever
I'm sorry I'm sorry but once again I'm weak for the old "the strength of their connection saves the day" and I'm a sentimentalist at heart
Kinda obsessed with the idea of Riker just being the type of guy who needs a universe-ending catastrophe every once in a while or they get bored
God Michael Dorn is sooooo good at playing Worf its not even funny. He's just. Worf. I could watch him play this character perfectly for the end of time.
Love it when Starfleet just Starfleets. "Ehh you're reckless and a little insane, but in that good way that sometimes saves the galaxy. here- have a ship and hang out on the frontiers, and don't bother us."
Worf, House of Martok...... My beloved
Poor Deanna, you do deserve a beach vacation
Starfleet history must be BUCK WILD. You tell the story of that time a crew of old people stole a ship from a museum and saved the world. Like. Okay.
NEPOTISM BABY JACK CRUSHER
uaoeisdjokf THIS fucking guy. Okay, now that I know he's lame I like him more
"What could possibly go wrong?" Wow was that a heavy-handed setup. I think I heard something about a TV show and now I feel extra convinced they are either planning one or at one point were.
Everyone being SO NORMAL about Captain starting words is so fucking. okay starfleet really MUST be the nerds of the galaxy.
Okay. I'm gonna be honest I don't think I needed quite so much nostalgia bait at the end. It was nice for like. A second. Especially when it was intercut with the younger characters.
Ending on them playing poker together, la ti da- everyone got a happy ending and in Starfleet heroes are rewarded
Anyway- it was fine. I found the episode kind of underwhelming honestly, but it wasn't horrific. Just kinda. Star trek typical levels of nonsense.
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hey hi just wanted to say i had the exact same thought about 911 and one of its main themes/messages being how biology doesn't = family. and therefore buck going through with the sperm donation could totally fit in with that theme/message. i could really see the show depicting it as a positive/healing thing for buck, where he's like, "i'm happy i made these people happy!" and i can definitely see eddie being surprised but supportive. realistically i don't see eddie being all like, "don't do this, you already have a kid!" anyway, just wanted to throw in a supporting voice to your viewpoint lol i'll be interested to see if we're right!
Hi, thank you! Yeah, that's my take too.
I also think it really depends a lot on the mindset of a person. Buck, a year or two ago, might have viewed it differently. Let me try to elaborate if I can sort through that vague feeling I have in my mind, lol.
So, Buck, who always yearned for connection, for meaningful relationships, for a real family, but never truly believed and trusted that he could have it, that he had that impact and importance in someone's life - that Buck knowing there was a kid out there that was biologically his but not being able to play a significant role in that kid's life? That Buck would have been devastated, because he'd see it as possibly his only chance of ever having anything resembling a real family, and that chance turning into another instance of rejection, of "not being good enough" to actually matter in a significant way. Just parts to be used to achieve a goal for somebody else.
But I don't think he's that person anymore. I truly believe he's grown so much and he's made peace with his past - never fully, of course; something like that always stays with you to some extent, but enough to move on from it. He's way more confident in his own importance and significance for others; he still has a bit to go for it to establish so deeply that he finds himself fully "at ease and peace", but he's on his way there.
(The way the conflict regarding being interim caption resolved quite easily and beautifully was a perfect sign for his growth; instead of taking from it all the reasons why he isn't worthy, he simply accepted it and didn't think any worse of himself for it).
I think the missing puzzle piece here is Eddie and Christopher, because, as much as Buck knows at this point that he matters to both of them a great fucking deal, they're still one step away from becoming an actual family. Buck knows he's important to Chris, but he also still thinks he's more of a backup plan. He needs to know and see that he's much more than that. And I truly believe this is what we're about to get, within this season.
And once he's there, whatever moments of doubt he may have in the coming months about the sperm donor situation, he will fully realize what I said in my initial post and you said in that ask. He IS a father. Christopher isn't biologically his, but he can love him as much as if he were, and he can play a significant role in his life. And on the other hand, Connor and his wife's baby is biologically his, but that's just chemistry, just a sequence of amino acids that happen to match his own roughly 50%. It doesn't make him a father, it doesn't make them have any kind of connection.
Lastly, as I said, Buck before would have seen this as him just being "parts to be used", but other than when his parents made him with no agency on his side about it all, here, he chose to do it. He wasn't thrown into it against his will, he freely chose to do something for someone else. And not because he thinks helping others is his only worth in the world. I cannot explain it, but watching all those scenes I felt like it was a decision that, yes, was big and a bit frightening, but it was also closure on the whole being made to save his brother thing. Because this time he was the one with the power to decide. He was able to take his trauma and turn it into something positive, productive, something that reflects his nature of wanting to help others but fully keeping his agency while doing it.
I'm really hoping this is the angle they're going with this, because it would be such a huge step of growth for Buck.
The more I think about it, the more I actually love this story line (and yep, before the ep yesterday I was all on board of "somebody/ideally Eddie is gonna talk him out of it!" train).
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The Theory
If my intuition is correct, I think this whole crypto movement is a larger sign that the system may collapse in the long term. Let me first say I hate crypto culture, because it's a movement led by people who don't really believe in Bitcoin as a concept but trying to make a quick buck. But I do like Bitcoin as a theory and concept. Although the philosophy of Bitcoin is going to rub people the wrong way depending on how people see it.
You see, Bitcoin's existence stems from the fact that people don't really have much control over their finances in the end. As inflation is increasing over time, living cost has gone up, and home ownership is out of reach for many middle class people. And that's primarily because the dollar is decreasing in value over the years. If the protectory goes in this direction, it's possible that the dollar is going to be worth barely nothing. And it makes sense too considering forty years ago, people can buy a hamburger, clothes, and other basic necessities with just a dollar. Nowadays you can't buy anything with a dollar. The nearest McDonald near me is charging almost 20 dollars for a hamburger. Would be pretty funny but also scary if a hamburger would start to cost over $100 or even up to $300 in the next twenty or thirty years later. Would be insane but the government can keep printing money as much as they want.
Which is scary as an idea if you think about it. People spend majority of their lives working for their employer just to save up for retirement, but at the end of it, they won't have enough to sustain the livelihood they want to achieve. It's a terrible trade of your life. Basically working for pennies and then can't afford anything in the future as home prices, food and just basic living cost goes up while the dollar keeps weakening. And that's why the concept of Bitcoin came to existence. When I first heard about it, the idea made sense to me, but most people would start to laugh and find it as a joke when I think it's a very real thing. Maybe the reason why it made sense to me is because I don't fully completely trust corporations and institutions. I always felt like the system was designed to keep people in debt, trapped and poor. While corporations make a lot of money from the labor of the middle class.
That's why in the news, you may see Bitcoin being downplayed and shown as a scam. Because they know Bitcoin actually goes against the idea of controlling people and their finances. Usually a lot of corporate media companies also have relationships with banks and the government. Bitcoin is sort of the idea that you don't need to depend on any of these entities, and you can self regulate your own wealth where the bank or the government won't take your money. You become your own self-regulated bank. If you truly accept Bitcoin's philosophy, it means you don't fully trust those entities. And that's why you see people from banks and people in the government trying to control Bitcoin and telling people it's a scam. They lie because they want to be in control essentially.
Truthfully, my feelings about this is that I sort of also hate the existence of Bitcoin. Like why is here? We shouldn't need it. If I ever kids, I don't want them to depend on Bitcoin to survive and make it out as adults. I want them to be paid well, be treated fairly for their hard work. But unfortunately, these days a lot of jobs are too low paying and they over work their employees. At the end of it, their hard work doesn't necessarily equate to stability and recognition, if these mass layoffs have proven otherwise. I don't know, that's the theory currently. And people just ignore this hypothetical situation because it hasn't arrived yet. People might see me as negative, pessimistic and even scary for thinking that way. But if it does happen though, what would they do to prepare those types of situation? They would essentially be screwed for over trusting the system.
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"Mockingjay", Chapter 9
Part 1: The Ashes
Chapter 9: No one tells Katniss about Peeta's second interview. Not even Gale. She takes Finnick out to the woods to talk, and he is more generous to Gale than Fandom is because he suggests Gale wants to tell her privately. Katniss shoots a buck. Katniss worries about Peeta, mostly, but also about the fact that she doesn't trust Coin, Plutarch, et al. She fights with Gale. Cressida wants footage from District 12. Plutarch tells them the rebels have taken Districts 3 and 11. Haymitch doesn't come. Gale has to talk about the firebombing. They hike to the lake. Katniss shows Pollux a mockingjay and he asks her to sing. She starts having flashbacks to Rue and decides to sing "the Hanging Tree.'
-- Katniss said she had taken down three deer in the first book, I think? So this is numero 4. I also think it's cool that Finnick just "carries" it himself because bucks can weight like 300 pounds? That's like three Magses and he's been in the hospital for several weeks but is apparently not skipping leg day.
-- Gale got his communicuff back. Is this a reward for lying (or lying by omission) to Katniss? Alma Coin is trying to lure Gale into her van with communicuffs. And he's falling it even though they are obviously stupid. (I am mixing my metaphors about what Coin is doing to Gale, but I think it's clear she is trying to woo him in a non-sexual way. Make him feel special and part of something bigger than himself. Originally I think it was for info on Katniss who we know Coin doesn't trust.)
-- It's the return of Lucy Gray Baird to the lake, 65 years later. It's no surprise to me that memories of Rue and the Arena are what make Katniss sing. What it brings back are memories of her Father, who we assume was her connection to Lucy Gray.
Quotes:
At that moment, his communicuff starts beeping. "There she is. Better run. You have things to tell her."
For a moment, real hurt registers on his face. Then cold anger replaces it. He turns on his heel and goes. Maybe I have been too spiteful, not given him enough time to explain. Maybe everyone is just trying to protect me by lying to me. I don't care. I'm sick of people lying to me for my own good. Because really it's mostly for their own good. Lie to Katniss about the rebellion so she doesn't do anything crazy. Send her into the arena without a clue so we can fish her out. Don't tell her about Peeta's propo because it might make her sick, and it's hard enough toget a decent performance out of her as it is.
Katniss has so little agency, she trusts Gale because he is her best friend. She just wants someone to be on her side. But Gale has sort of chosen the rebellion over her at this point, and that understandable. The whole country is being oppressed but it is lonely for Katniss, especially with Peeta gone.
"If you're both up for that," says Cressida, looking closely at my face.
Bless you, C.
I used to think the murderer was the creepiest guy imaginable. Now, with a couple of trips to the Hunger Games under my belt, I decide not to judge him without knowing more details. Maybe his lover was already sentenced to death and he was trying to make it easier. To let her know he'd be waiting. Or maybe he thought the place he was leaving her was really worse than death. Didn't I want to kill Peeta with that syringe to save him from the Capitol? Was that really my only option? Probably not, but I couldn't think of another at the time.
We now know "The Hanging Tree" was inspired by the hanging of Arlo Chance and his girlfriend, Lil, who is also hanged, but some of it also mirrors the relationship between Coriolanus and Lucy Gray. The met at the Hanging Tree. They tried to flee. Perhaps the only way for those two to truly be "together" was for them both to be hanged? And maybe, based on how bad things have gottne in the intervening years, that would've been the best ending?
... back then I could memorize almost anything set to music after a round or two.
Maude Ivory also has this ability. Actually she can remember anything after hearing it once. I don't think that's a genetic trait though? Does anyone know?
That's when the mockingjays begin their rendition of "The Hanging Tree." In their mouths, it's quite beautiful. Conscious of being filmed, I stand quietly until I hear Cressida call, "Cut!"
That's a wrap, people. The show's not over until the mockingjay sings.
[Cutting for length]
#the hanging tree#thg reread#mockingjay#lucy gray baird#coriolanus snow#arlo chance#lil#maude ivory baird#katniss everdeen
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Cranberry - Firearms Education... Part 1
I had decided to stop over for a week in Valentine, to stock up on supplies before making my big trek north. Although I was eager to continue my search for the legendary Snow buck, I knew I needed provisions and my horse Enkidu, needed rest.
During my stay, I couldn't help overhearing the locals talking excitedly about a new very large shipment of navy revolvers that was soon to arrive from Blackwater.
I was familiar with the navy. It was a sturdy enough weapon - and I even owned one myself. But it didn't take long for me to realize that it was far inferior to my trusted LeMat.
At first I chalked up the fervor to the novelty of the admittedly hard-hitting and comically large weapon. But as rumors of its stopping power and size began to run rampant, it got so that I couldn't walk three steps in town without hearing wildly inflated stories about this "amazing new ballistic marvel."
On the morning of my third day, I awoke early to commotion out in the street. I hastily threw on my nightgown, and opened the doors to the balcony so I could see what the disturbance was about. To my surprise, there was a long line of people stretching right down the main street.
When I leaned out over the railing, I could see that it went from beyond the butcher's stall, around the front of my hotel, and all the way to Mr. Dalton's gun store!
One of the gentlemen in line looked up and saw me - I must have been quite a sight with my hair standing on end, wrapped in my nighty as I blinked against the bright morning sunlight. But he recognized me all the same.
"CRANBERRY! Cranberry - get down here - FAST! I'll hold you a place in line - you don't want to miss it!"
I wasn't too surprised that he knew me. I had become rather well known to the locals after that awful incident with Montez. When his unruly band of outlaws tried to rescue him from prison, I was able to hold them off and save the town from destruction. Since that fateful day, I have had very good standing in town and a reputation as a capable if somewhat unlikely protector of the residents.
I immediately took the opportunity to find out what was happening (although I was fairly sure I knew), and shouted back down.
"Good morning! Thank you for your kind offer - but first - I must ask what is all this in aid of?"
He shouted back swirling his battered Homberg over his head in an almost frantic wave as he pointed furiously towards the gun store.
"WHAT?! You don't know?! They're HERE! The navy revolvers have finally arrived!!! I've been in line since midnight and I'm sure as shi- uh... sure as sure can be - that is - that I'm going to get mine... Miss Cranberry!"
Then he turned back to his friends and excitedly fell into a serious discussion about purchasing crates of ammunition as they flipped through a battered copy of the Wheeler Rawson catalog.
I looked briefly to the sky for patience... not finding any there, I went back into my room and got ready.
Hysteria over this silly gun has gripped the entire town and turned it on its' head. Something needs to be done - and I think a little education is in order!
My mind was made up. I went to the sheriff's office. It was time I arranged for a town meeting where I would present the facts about the navy and make sure that the sensational aspects were put into proper perspective.
Finally, I decided that I would also take that opportunity to shine a light upon my personal favorite weapon - the versatile LeMat.
There is only one pistol that truly does it all - and that's the LeMat.
(A close up view of my lovely LeMat revolver. No silly navy revolver could ever measure up to this functional work of art.)
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delicate; b. barnes
chapter thirteen - “sober desires & the reminiscence of a winsome smile”
delicate masterlist
word count: 4k
synopsis: wakanda gets a visit from our favorite captain, two drinks is too much rum for a reticent psychologist, and bucky knows (& feels) more than meets the eye.
pairings: bucky x fem!reader
[A/N]: this took so long to write but WHEW this chapter!!!! pls let me know what you think >:D
The knock on the outside of his hut was followed by a deep accented voice, one that he had heard before.
"Sergeant Barnes?" it called.
Quickly enough Bucky was outside, facing the king of Wakanda himself. He wasn't sure exactly what to say. You see, the majority of their past interactions included the Black Panther trying to kill him. T'Challa was kind and Bucky trusted him. It was just... a little awkward given the history.
"Your highness," he greeted.
He smiled bashfully at the title.
"I have some news for you."
Bucky's head cocked to the side, curious. News? Should he be worried? He hadn't been expecting anything.
"Captain Rogers is on his way here. He was alerted about our recent complication with N'Jadaka," he said, referring to who Bucky guessed was who Y/N called Erik Killmonger, "and he asked to come check in, make sure you're okay."
Steve was coming. His mood was immediately uplifted. He hadn't seen his oldest friend for months. It was weird to have Steve feeling the need to make sure Bucky was okay; it was usually the other way around. Nonetheless, he was excited. And he had the sudden urge to tell Y/N.
- - -
READER
"Sharon. Hey," she said into the phone.
The friends hadn't spoken since Y/N left for Wakanda - security measures since Sharon helped Steve and betrayed the... well everyone.
"Y/N!" Sharon greeted. "How is everything? Are you alright?"
"Yeah, no I'm totally okay. The Killmonger thing was more the royal family's deal than mine. I was just hiding out in some bunker with Barnes."
Concerned weaved its way into Sharon's voice. "Oh my god. Did anything happen?"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, historically, stress hasn't affected him well..."
She wasn't sure why she almost got offended. "No... he was completely fine. He doesn't lose control out of nowhere and turn into the winter soldier. It's a lot more complicated than that... We were fine."
"Oh, that's good. Listen... I'm actually on my way to Wakanda right now."
"You're-... what?"
"Steve needed to check in on Bucky after Killmonger. Wilson and I are coming too."
They must all be together. It makes sense considering what happened after the disaster in Berlin, and then the airport fiasco in Germany and then... everything in Siberia.
Aw, they're in hiding together, Y/N joked in her head. She almost laughed out loud.
"Oh. Is that safe? For you? For everyone?"
"I've been careful. We've all been careful. But, things don't always go as planned. And T'Challa feels bad about putting you guys in a dangerous situation when he was supposed to protect you."
"It wasn't his fault."
"I know. We all know. But, it's kind of his way of making up for it: letting us stay so that Steve can check in on Barnes and we can cool off for a bit."
"Was Rogers mad?"
"Well, he wasn't thrilled that his best friend was trapped alone in a country that just got taken over..."
He wasn't alone.
"...he was mostly worried," Sharon continued. "Still is."
"Right."
"Alright, well I got to go. We'll be there in a couple hours."
"I'll see you. Be safe."
"See you."
- - -
BUCKY BARNES
"Hey Buck," the happiness in Steve's voice was genuine as he patted his oldest friend on the back in the middle of an embrace. "How you been?"
"A hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you, that's for damn sure," Bucky smiled.
Sam Wilson stood next to the star spangled man with a plan. Bucky briefly glanced at him.
"Wilson," he deadpanned.
"Barnes," he returned the greeting.
"I was worried when T'Challa told me about Killmonger," Steve said. "Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that they let you stay here, but I just didn't think I'd have to be worried so soon."
"It's alright. Everything turned out okay and I was fine the whole time. You don't have to lose your head."
"I'm not losing my head."
"You never had it in the first place."
The blonde changed the topic of conversation.
"You were with that therapist right?"
"Yeah."
"What do we think about her?" he asked with equal parts caution and suspicion. "Do you trust her?"
Bucky wasn't sure why he was almost offended.
"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"
"Well, you know what happened the last time you were with a psychiatrist..."
"Yeah well, this one doesn't have a personal vendetta against the Avengers."
"You sure she's alright?"
He looked serious, and Bucky could see the genuine concern etched into his friend's face. Steve was truly wary.
"I'm positive. She's helped so much since I've been here. I really trust her."
"Okay, if you say so. I trust you."
Bucky smirked. "Hey uh... is Sharon with you?"
Sam said nothing but radiated a smirk to match Bucky's perfectly, a kind of smirk that only a ball-busting best friend cracks.
"She is..." Steve replied. "Why do you ask?"
"Oh nothing. Just wondering, that's all."
"She said she wanted to talk to a friend."
"Oh, she's probably with Y/N."
"Who?"
"Y/N. Dr. Y/L/N. 'The therapist.'"
"I didn't know they were friends."
"Why do you think Sharon recommended her?"
"She said she knew 'the best' person to help."
"That true. She's crazy smart."
"As long as she can do the job, I'm all for it, no matter whose friend she is."
In a short-lived thought, Bucky wondered what Steve Rogers would think of who else Y/N was friends with. He wondered if Steve would think it was strange to be friends with your doctor, or if he'd be pleased that Bucky had gotten close to someone, anyone else in this world.
"How long are you guys staying for?" Bucky asked.
Steve rubbed the back of his neck anxiously. "Honestly, we were only planning on staying for like a week or so. We've been moving throughout Europe, and the other day, when we were in Prague... it was almost really bad."
"We need to stay low for a while," Sam added.
"What did you do?" Bucky asked, used to Steve getting himself into trouble.
"It's a long story..."
"What did T'Challa say about it?"
"He said to take as much time as we needed," Steve filled him in.
"You know, I'm startin' to really like this guy," Sam nodded, smiling. "Obviously when he went all cat murderer on you, he was a bit of a pain in the ass. But now? Guardian angel."
Bucky shook his head at Sam's nonsense. What an idiot, he thought. He wondered what Y/N would think of Sam, but then a more pressing question popped into his head.
"Where are you guys gonna stay?"
"I'm guessing there," Steve said pointing behind Bucky.
When he turned around, Bucky was shocked but he also wasn't. Behind and around his hut stood three more just like it, but slightly smaller. He could've sworn those weren't there yesterday, but that's the beauty of Wakanda. They were ten steps ahead of the rest of the world and he guessed that included speed building as well.
"I will never stop loving this place," he admired.
-
He tried not to sound too eager when he knocked on her door. She looked shocked but didn't really try to hide it.
"Oh," she sounded confused. "Hi, Bucky..."
"Hey," he grinned. "I have a proposition for you."
Her eyebrows lowered as her lips twisted into the most devilish smirk. She could communicate an entire joke with just her face.
"Not like that!" he exclaimed.
She laughed, smirk morphing into an endearing smile. "Like what then?"
"Steve wanted to have like a bonfire sorta thing to catch up since we're all together for once. You know, just like drinks and stupid stories from the forties. D'ya think you could part with your paper work to grace us with your presence?"
"Oh, uh... are you sure?"
"Of course. I'd love to have you there."
She wrung out her hands. "I don't know, Buck. Is that really appropriate? To have your doctor hangin' out with your friends?"
"That may be, but that's not what I'm asking. I want my friend to 'hang out' with my other friends."
Out of her composure seeped a meek smile. The air felt softer to him.
"And maybe you can analyze Wilson and tell me what his biggest fear is later," he added.
She snickered.
"Okay. Lead the way, James Buchanan."
-
The fire was a monster, roaring and crackling with all the life in the world. Bucky loved it. He loved the warmth, the heat, the lack of cold.
"I'm gonna get another drink," Y/N said. "You want anything, Buck?"
"I'm all set," he smiled, gaze lingering for only a second too long.
"Sharon?" she turned. "You?"
The blonde shook her head. "Oh, I think I've had plenty."
Surrounding the fire sat five chairs. All but one was empty as Y/N went to get her second drink. Of course they were in Sam's hut, Bucky thought. After all, even though it was Steve's idea, Sam was most excited about the whole thing, actually sitting down and just relaxing instead of fleeing from belligerent governments.
"Therapist's pretty," Sam noted with a smirk once she was out of hearing range.
"Y/N," Bucky corrected, mind going completely elsewhere. "She's so smart."
"Smart enough to call you Buck..." Steve said,
catching on to Sam.
"What?"
"She calls you Buck."
"Yeah, so? You do too."
"Yeah, but I've known you longer. And I'm your friend."
"She's my friend too," he shrugged.
"She's your doctor..."
"And I'm a hundred year old man with one arm trying to get un-brainwashed in a country that the rest of the world doesn't even know exists. None of this is conventional."
"...fair," Steve said, with only a little bit of skepticism. "Are you guys close?"
Does spending hours alone talking with someone in a hidden bunker make you close? Does them comforting you after a nightmare and then subsequently allowing you to get the best night sleep you've had in forever? What about making daring voyages to quaint waterfalls and laughing a kind of laugh that makes your heart swell? What about-
"Buck?"
He shrugged. Again. "I guess so."
Sam narrowed his eyebrows. "How close?"
"Wilson," Sharon admonished exasperatedly. "Y/L/N's his doctor, come on. That's inappropriate to suggest."
Sam put his hands up in mock surrender. Briefly, just briefly, Bucky imagined kicking the leg of Sam's chair and watching him fall back. He didn't, obviously. But it would have been funny if he did.
The seemingly never ending conversation was cut short when Y/N returned, drink in hand, and took her seat next to Bucky.
"What'd you get?" he asked, demeanor subtly but swiftly changing into something lighter, something happier.
"I don't know, but it has rum in it," she shrugged sardonically before clinking her glass with Bucky's.
"Cheers," Sam raised his glass, trying to engage.
Y/N wordlessly, and with a half-smile, raised her glass in his direction.
"So," Steve started, comfortably crossing his legs and leaning back into his chair before asking Bucky, "you wanna know what actually happened in Prague?"
"Do enlighten me. I've been waiting all night."
"Jerk."
"Punk."
The rest of the night went on sort of like this. The group took turns telling stories and then listening. Cracking jokes and then laughing. Everyone but Y/N, Bucky noticed. She just... sat and drank, livelihood only extending to the borders of her seat.
He hadn't seen her like this before, and he found himself stuck halfway between confused and worried. Had something happened? Had something wrong been said?
He kept an eye on her as dusk melted into night. He told himself it was because he was concerned, but that was only in addition to the way he was magnetized to how she looked with the light of the fire gleaming on her skin.
After she would finish a drink, she'd stare into the fire for a little while, before leaving to get another. When he made sure no one was looking at him, he'd look at her. Discretely. At her eyes. The reflection of the fire in her pupils made him wonder if she would burn the fire before it could ever burn her. He was all too aware of the heat that accompanied her gaze. It was a ravishing burn that made him ache for the searing feeling as soon as it was taken away.
He didn't dare think of it for too long or else he would get distracted. And someone would call his name, pulling him out of a trance he didn't want to be caught in. A trance he wasn't sure he wanted to admit that he was in.
The night remained as such until someone - he couldn't remember who - said they were tired, and everyone bid their farewells, and wished their good nights.
Y/N spared about a side hug to Sharon before walking off on her own. Bucky half volunteered, half insisted on tending to the fire to make sure it went out, only to ignore it as soon as everyone was gone and follow after his psychologist.
He caught up to her as she was in the middle of opening the door to her living quarters.
"Y/N."
She turned around in the spot, door wide open, staring up at him.
He bore into her eyes, looking at something, noticing her dilated pupils and hazy stare.
"You're drunk," he said, but it sounded more like a question.
"Yeah."
"But you don't seem drunk?"
"I'm not wasted," she padded into the room, carelessly leaving the door wide open for him to walk through. "Just drunk enough to remember why I didn't drink in college."
She rubbed her eyes.
"Think I want another one," she sighed, heading for the door with a bitter smile. "More rum."
Bucky gently closed the door, maneuvering himself in front of it, and blocking her from exiting. Another drink is definitely not a good idea.
He changed the subject. "Why didn't you drink in college?"
Her eyebrows raised, introducing a look that said Really? You think I don't know what you're doing?
"Wow, look at you being the voice of reason for my otherwise inebriated brain."
Nevertheless, she cooperated.
She sighed. "It just... makes me miserable. I'm a sad drunk."
"Better than a mean drunk," he offered.
"Possibly. It's a real mood killer, though."
"That why you were off all night?"
"Off... ? I don't know, I guess so... I'm usually pretty inconspicuous when I'm drunk. Didn't think anyone would really notice."
There was no hesitation when he spoke.
"I did."
"I'm sorry..."
"Don't be sorry. Just... why did you keep drinking if it only makes you miserable?"
"Alcohol is a depressant," she breathed mechanically, as if speaking was difficult. "It depresses your nervous system, then you get disinhibited. Then you don't care about rationality and just drink! Then in the moment it feels kinda good... but then it makes you sad... and then you need more to blur the feeling away. It's like... the worse you feel, the more you need to drink... but then the more you drink... the worse you feel..."
"How are you drunk but still talking... sorta still like you usually do?"
She smirked, looking like she was trying not to laugh. He was glad she was smiling.
"Maybe you're not the only one with heightened metabolism as a result of the serum..."
He looked at her quizzically, amused. She wasn't making total sense, but he couldn't find it in himself to give much of a damn. She smiled, again.
"Kidding. I just have outstanding self-control."
She plopped down on the floor, deciding that she no longer wanted to use her legs. Fine motor function was overrated for intoxicated people.
He sat down with her, next to her.
"If I tell you a joke will you be less sad-drunk?"
"I already am 'less sad-drunk.' I wasn't before, but," she took a breath in, "now you're here, so... improvements have been made."
"That's good 'cause I was worried before."
She glanced up at him with brazen eye contact. Her face held a mixture of what looked like a confused and pained expression, as something changed. Some sort of realization or reality check.
She wiped her hands over her face. "God, this is so ridiculous. I'm sorry. You shouldn't be worried about me, that's not your job. I'm sorry. I should just go to bed, and you can leave..."
"I know it's not my job. I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
"I was alright- it... it's not like I was crying at the fire or something. I was fine."
"After your second drink, you were silent almost the entire time."
"You were counting my drinks?"
Not exactly.
"I was paying attention."
"To what?"
To you.
"You completely turned into yourself. Your elbows and legs were drawn in close to your body: unrelaxed and almost apprehensive posture. You were nonverbal, didn't make any jokes, no sarcastic commentary. I was literally purposefully saying things I knew you would correct or tease or laugh at and nothing. I was waiting for a 'smartass' or a 'there's a reason behind everything' explanation or anything science related. But there was nothing."
Her face was blank. It took her a second to catch up. Blinking slowly, she shook her head, eyebrows furrowed, all emphasis on the word. "Why?"
Her tone was truly confused. It was like she, in her heart of hearts, for the life of her, could not believe he was concerned.
"Y/N you're my friend," he chided. "Why wouldn't I be?"
She averted her gaze. Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I don't know."
"Look," his voice was soft. "I know you know everything and you know my mannerisms and micro-expressions and you know when I'm lying and whatever else 'cause you're a genius psychologist. But is it really that hard to believe that, after all the time we've known each other, I know you a little too? That I saw you for once instead of you always seein' me?"
"I think you're the only person who sees me."
The words leaked out before he thought to analyze them, tone lower than a whisper.
"Well I can't seem to look at much else."
He had never felt such potent silence. Did he just fuck up majorly? They just sat, on the floor, eyes glued to each other like twenty year old dried cement. He didn't think he could move away if he tried.
"I see you now," she whispered.
"What do you mean?"
"Blue," she breathed. "Your eyes are so blue. I don't... think I've ever seen that shade of blue."
It happened exponentially slowly, but the closer her face got to his, the more his chest felt like it was going to burst in the best way possible. As if liquid light poured into his lungs, inflating his chest and igniting every nerve with adoration.
Her lips hovered over his so lightly it was as if it wasn't even happening, like her affection was a ghost. But it was happening, and he could feel it. He could feel the softness in her lips and the smell of the rum she drank as they combined into the wondrous dual sensation that permeated throughout his brain.
They weren't kissing by any stretch. Their lips were hardly touching. However, in that moment, he was at her mercy. He was prepared to bend the laws of nature to her will if she would allow the continuation of this feeling for even a fraction of a second more.
Until it stopped and she waned away like the moon bidding adieu to the morning sky.
Her voice shook. "I'm so sorry."
"Don't... it's-"
"No. It's not okay. It's not okay."
He leaned back, examining her face. She looked confused and embarrassed and scared.
"Y/N, it's fine. It's okay, seriously, don't worry about it."
"I'm sorry, I'm... I'm drunk and I'm disinhibited and it's affecting my judgement and making me impulsive. I'm sorry."
He couldn't be exactly sure, but it sounded as if she was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince him.
Neither of them moved a muscle.
"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.
She was silent, frozen. It reminded him of a past conversation about the fight or flight response.
Bucky stood up and offered his hand to the woman sitting on the floor in front of him. "Here."
She took it gingerly and stood up with him before wide eyes stared into his apologetically.
"Please don't feel bad," he pleaded. "Barely anything happened."
"Still..."
"Why don't you just get some sleep and we can talk tomorrow. I promise it won't seem like such a big deal when you're sober."
She nodded but they both remained motionless, hands still together. He knew they needed to let go, but her hand didn't move, and she just kept looking into him.
"Okay," she whispered.
She walked him to the door, hand still in hand, and until he was forced to let go of her to open it. He stepped, ever so slowly, out of her room and onto the grass outside. He looked up at her, the doorway between them suddenly feeling like worlds of distance. They stood on opposite sides of the open door like statues. Bucky didn't know what to do and he wasn't sure what to say.
He settled on a, "Goodnight."
He tried not to make it sound so weak and timorous but he failed entirely. He didn't want to leave her like this. Guilty and alone. God knows he knew what it felt like.
Her voice was dry and quiet. "Goodnight."
He wasn't sure when the door shut or which one of them had shut it. The only thing he was sure of was the feeling of formidable regret pooling in his stomach.
On one hand, there was regret for letting her lean in and get so close because now he was scared that their dynamic was ruined and worried that Y/N felt awful. On the other hand, there was regret that he just let her pull away. Regret that he didn't lean in more and shamelessly drown in her. Regret that he didn't unapologetically suffocate himself with the softness of lips, the inebriating smell of rum on on her tongue, and the utterly bewitching taste of her he was sure would follow.
He wasn't sure what he felt, to be honest. He was a muddle of emotions of which he had no idea how to sift through. Momentarily, he wished he was drunk so he wouldn't have to think so hard. Then, he remembered the saying, "drunk words are sober thoughts," and he was damn glad he was stone cold sober; he could only imagine the things he would say to her if he was drunk.
This lead him to pondering, it got the gears in his brain turning. It made him wonder. Maybe... just maybe... if drunk words were sober thoughts, then what if drunk actions were sober desires?
Thinking like this could cause him read the situation completely differently. Thinking like this could make him read the situation in such a way that conceived the slightest sliver of hope for emotions gone repressed. Hope is dangerous...
Hope is dangerous, so Bucky shoved it down into the deepest cavern of his brain, the very same cavern where his feelings for her resided. It was a monster in a cave, growling and hissing menacingly. Intensely.
It scared him, this intensity. It scared him so much that the only way he could fall asleep was by thinking about the way James Buchanan sounded when she said it with a winsome smile.
delicate taglist: @bakugouswh0r3 @thefridgeismybestie @strivingforelegance @ilovespideyyy @xpurpleglitter @bluelakeee @darkacademic2 @nickkie1129 @eclipsedplanet @paradisedixon @crazy-beautiful @coffee--writes @lilithknight1111 @buckybarnesishot310 @softladyhours @alwayssandy @quxxnxfhxll @those-sea-green-eyes @hero-ically @devilswaldorf
#bucky barnes#bucky fanfic#marvel#steve rogers#bucky fic#bucky reader insert#bucky x y/n#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes fic#bucky#bucky x reader#bucky x you#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes delicate#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x reader#captain america civil war#black panther#marvel fanfiction#captain america#mcu#james bucky barnes#bucky drabble#bucky headcanon#captain america fanfiction#bucky fluff#winter solider edit#bucky imagine
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Not to be anti bt on main, but someone brought up the beacon bracelet recently and I need to know I'm not crazy... wtf was Taylor's reaction to that about?? "Something that tracks me 24/7"??? Bitch, do you know how that shit works?? They can only track you if you use it to call help, same as your phone! Am I dumb and fundamentally misunderstanding how that thing works, or is she trying to find faults in the gift cause she's awful??
I know a lot of people think the bracelet will come back around. I don't think it will, but they could work it in. As for her reaction, I think she jumped to the "tracking" assumption because she doesn't actually trust Buck. They don't trust or truly know each other which is the whole point of why this relationship isn't working 🤷🏻♀️
But I also think no matter what, she didn't like it and couldn't see past that to the thought behind the gift. Given what fraught lives they lead and Buck feeling like he has failed people by not being there enough for them (never enough for his parents, Maddie is currently gone, he lost Chris, he wasn't there for Chris and Eddie during the lawsuit, etc), so he gives his gf something that says "if you are ever in trouble I will be there for you". It's actually a pretty romantic gesture AND it's not some clunky, plastic life-alert thing, it's a very pretty yet functional bracelet! But it's apparently not what she wanted or expected (which, did they not ASK each other "what do you want for Christmas?"?!?! Talk about an inability to communicate!). Also, she's not a nice person 🤷🏻♀️
#my sweet nonnie friends#911#anti taylor kelly#anti bucktaylor#i'd say she's the worst but L is here now so 🤷🏻♀️
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HOWDY SOULMATE OF MINE. Can I please have some Jaskilion? I want lingerie and I want make up and I want blindfolds and I will cry if I don't get it. No pressure.
Let's just ignore the fact this is four months later... Oops. Please don't cry! Oh and thanks to @kuripon for beta-ing! This is based in my modern Jaskilion AU but all parts read well on their own as well.
This is Jaskilion smut. Rated E. Pretty much the prompt with added blowjobs.
________
Silence was rare in Jaskier and Dandelion’s flat. They were both musically inclined which led to a cacophony of sound in the house. If they weren’t practicing for their fledgling band, then one or the other of them would be humming under their breath or scribbling down some rhyme on whatever paper they could find. So, silence was something that couldn’t often be found, and was not really appreciated by either musician. However, the silence in the flat that day was building an unspoken tension between them and Jaskier was loath to break it. It wasn’t often that he unpacked his drawing set, but words had escaped him for over a week and he was itching to create something, anything. The portrait had been Dandelion’s idea, and Jaskier loved any excuse to draw his friend.
Dandelion was, for lack of a better word, absolutely stunning. His almost elf-like beauty had lured Jaskier in like a moth to a flame… or more accurately a barista to the supply closet. It also made him a perfect subject for Jaskier’s drawing practice.
Especially when he sat so prettily on the chair, his hands tied behind his back and a silk tie wrapped around his head, keeping him blinded. Dandelion was wearing his favourite emerald green silk lingerie, the vibrant colour looking fucking radiant against his pale skin and long golden curls. To top the look off, his lips were painted a rich blood red and he looked absolutely sinful. Jaskier was having a hard time focusing on his drawing, pun intended.
He wanted nothing more than to rip that stupidly pretty silk off of Dandelion’s body but his friend had made him promise that he would finish his sketch first. It was going torturously slowly. He’d just about blocked out the rough shape but he was losing patience, which just wasn’t fair. Even tied to a chair and blindfolded, Dandelion still managed to command the room when he wanted. It was infuriating, and just a little bit sexy.
Jaskier sighed as he set aside his sketchpad, the sound clearly drawing Dandelion’s attention as the blond cocked his head.
“Jaskier?”
“I’m here,” he muttered, sighing again as he crossed the room, making sure his steps were audible even on the rug. He didn’t want to startle his friend. “I’m going to touch you.”
“How’s the drawing?”
Jaskier rolled his eyes as he brushed his fingers along Dandelion’s cheek. “Let me worry about that, you just stay sitting there for me, dear heart.”
“Well, I don’t appear to have much choice,” Dandelion scoffed haughtily, tugging half-heartedly at the silk ties behind his back. “I am your prisoner.”
Jaskier trailed his fingers down his friend’s neck, tracing the edges of the bra straps, enjoying the feel of the silk against his skin. He was delighted to see Dandelion’s shiver at his touch. He was even more delighted to see Dandelion’s cock straining against the silk panties. Despite his talk, Dandelion was not as unaffected as he liked to appear.
“Don’t be so dramatic,” Jaskier chided gently, letting his fingers hook under the silk, brushing against his friend’s nipples. He was rewarded with a sharp intake of breath and Dandelion tilted his head back.
Jaskier bit back any other witty remarks as he removed his hands and as silently as possible, moved away from Dandelion. His friend let out a pitiful whine and just like that the power shifted between them and Jaskier smirked. The rug muffled the sound of his footsteps as he moved behind Dandelion, and the only sound in the room was the thundering of his own heart. It felt so loud in his chest he was sure that Dandelion would be able to hear it. Dandelion blindly looked around the room, cocking his head as he tried to pick up any sound that would give away Jaskier’s position.
“You better not have left me here,” Dandelion mumbled, sounding offended by the idea of it.
Jaskier barely managed to keep from laughing. They’d agreed that he would stay in the room the whole time, and he knew Dandelion trusted him to keep that promise, but Jaskier gently touched his friend’s shoulder. Dandelion yelped and jumped in his seat, letting out a string of profanities and finally Jaskier allowed himself to make a noise.
“Okay?” he asked, grinning despite himself.
“You bastard,” Dandelion grumbled but still leaned into Jaskier’s touch as Jaskier ran his fingers through his friend’s hair.
“I’ll make it up to you,” Jaskier promised and circled Dandelion, never taking his hands off Dandelion’s skin, trailing his fingers down Dandelion’s chest as he knelt in front of him.
He barely remembered to breathe as he looked up at his friend, blindfolded and so helpless above him. The trust they had in each other was unlike anything Jaskier had experienced before. It was a heady feeling, and there was no doubt how deep his friendship with Dandelion was. Anyone that said romance was more important than friendship needed a bollocking, and Jaskier sent up a quick prayer to any gods that might exist, thanking them for both Dandelion, and Geralt’s acceptance of their untraditional friendship.
Jaskier truly had hit the jackpot with the two of them. He smiled as he pressed a kiss to Dandelion’s thigh, nipping gently at the sensitive skin. Above him, Dandelion pulled at the ties and whined again.
“Patience, darling,” Jaskier murmured as he brushed his lips along Dandelion’s thigh before mouthing at the silk panties that barely concealed his friend’s cock. Dandelion scoffed and opened his mouth to shoot back some no doubt biting remark, but Jaskier cut him off. “Perhaps we should have gagged you as well.”
Dandelion just pouted, making Jaskier chuckle as he hooked his fingers under the top of the panties, pulling them down enough to expose Dandelion’s hard cock, already leaking against the soft pretty fabric. The sight made Jaskier’s mouth dry and he licked his lips before pressing a kiss to Dandelion’s stomach, delighting as the muscles rippled under his lips.
“Oh fuck,” Dandelion groaned, “bloody tease.”
“Hmm, you love it,” Jaskier murmured, reaching up to brush his fingers along Dandelion’s bra.
Dandelion had always been very responsive, but never quite like this. It seemed that every touch had the musician on edge, whimpering, gasping, moaning, and Jaskier was fucking addicted. He wasn’t usually one to tease this much, he didn’t have the patience for it, but he was just having too much fun. Still, he had promised to make it up to his friend, and he would hate to break his word, so finally he pressed a kiss to Dandelion’s cock, licking at the slit before taking just the tip into his mouth, suckling lightly, just a tease of what was to come. Jaskier felt Dandelion’s cock twitch in his mouth and his friend let out an obscene moan which only spurred Jaskier on more.
He groaned as he pulled off, licking a stripe down the length as his fingers dug into the soft skin of Dandelion’s thighs. He nosed at the base of Dandelion’s cock before kissing along the underside until he reached the tip once more, bobbing his head as he took it back into his mouth, enjoying the weight on his tongue. Dandelion’s whimpers and moans were tantalizing, making his own cock achingly hard in his trousers and he shifted so he could grind down on his feet, desperate for any kind of friction.
“Wanna see you,” Dandelion panted, still straining against the silk ties. They would come loose if he really wanted, but it was a pretty sight watching him struggle.
Jaskier hummed around his friend’s cock, slowly working to relax his jaw as he took Dandelion further into his mouth. Reluctantly he released one of his friend’s thighs, stroking his hand up until it was pressing against Dandelion’s balls through the silk fabric. Dandelion gasped and bucked forward as best as he could given his restraints, mumbling an apology as Jaskier almost choked on his cock. Instead, Jaskier moaned as he doubled down on his efforts, rocking his own hips forward as he licked and sucked at his friend’s cock with all the grace of a drunk at their local nightclub, but his own arousal was making it hard to think about skill. Judging by the sounds Dandelion was making, his friend didn’t seem to care.
“Oh, oh fuck!” Dandelion hissed, gasping for breath. He was close so Jaskier moaned as he made one last effort, humming around his friend’s cock as it nudged the back of his throat, pulling back just enough as Dandelion came, Jaskier’s name falling off his lips in a prayer. Jaskier suckled at Dandelion’s cock, chasing every last drop of cum, until he started to soften in his mouth.
Finally he pulled off, wiping his mouth before pressing one last kiss to Dandelion’s thigh. “Fuck,” he sighed, his voice hoarser than he would have liked but he decided it was completely and utterly worth it.
Dandelion let out a peal of laughter and finally managed to wiggle free of the ties behind his back. His hands were in Jaskier’s hair before Jaskier realised his friend was free. He blinked as he looked up. Blue eyes peered down at him, dark and hungry, and his friend’s cheeks were flushed almost as red as his lipstick.
“Fuck,” Jaskier repeated and pressed his forehead to Dandelion’s stomach.
Long fingers just carried on stroking through his hair as Dandelion laughed again. “My turn.”
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The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 13 of 18)
Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader
Word count: 3 K
Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...
As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?
<- Previous part (12)
Next part (14) ->
{Stranger Things Masterlist}
×
Demodogs
The funfair is everything you thought it would be, and even more. The colorful lights, the music, the games, the kids running around. It's inebriating, beautiful, mesmerizing... You only wish you could forget what you saw on the road... What you saw a while ago and what James told you he saw. Four beasts so far, if you assume those were all different animals. It probably means there are more, right? Nobody was attacked yet, or else you'd know. News travel fast through Hawkins. But even so, the cops need to know, and whatever it is, it has to be controlled. But what you really need is to know what that is. You think you'll feel better once you know the species, so you can do some research and have some peace of mind.
“(Y/N)? Are you there?” Monica shakes your shoulder lightly, dragging you out of your thoughts. “You look a little pale. Are you feeling alright?”
“Yup. I was just thinking.” You all give a few steps forward when the line for the ferris wheel move.
“I know who you were thinking about,” Christopher says, his arm around Monica's shoulders. “He's coming, by the way.” He tilts his head towards something behind you, and you immediately turn on your heels, and the familiar burning on your stomach hits.
You can't help but smile to see him, walking among the sea of people, eyes fixed on you. It's ok to look now, right? You're dating, you're living together. And Billy looks so... Gorgeous. Hot. Awesome. He's wearing his black leather jacket and a dark blue shirt underneath, which is unbuttoned.
“Hey, princess.” His smile makes your legs weak as he pulls you into a kiss.
“Hey, handsome,” you mutter when you pull away, a hand on the exposed part of his chest. “Haven't you ever heard of buttons, Hargrove?”
“Yeah, but I don't think they're necessary.” He winks and you bite your lip.
“I think I agree,” you whisper before finally turning back to your friends. And, of course, they're all staring with wide eyes. Monica is the only one who knows you're dating. “So, guys... Billy and I.” You mutter, blushing lightly and moving again. You're next in line.
“I knew it!” Jason exclaims, high-fiving Monica. “I knew it, from the beginning.”
“I didn't. I mean... Billy is... Or was...” Christopher struggles with the words, gesturing at Billy and you. “Well it doesn't matter, does it? Congratulations.”
“Careful, Chris. Remember what happened to David last time.” Monica warns him, a smirk on her face.
“Next.” The old man calls and you move.
“Couples first,” Monica says, pulling you and Billy ahead of the others. The car only fits two, so you and Billy go alone.
As you move up, you look down, taking in the amazing view the ferris wheel provides. Billy has an arm around your shoulders, and you lay your head on his shoulder.
“You're quiet. What happened? You sounded very excited about the fair.” Billy asks, placing a kiss on your hair.
You don't want to tell him why you're restless, not today. “I was. I am.” You stutter a little, clearing your throat.
“Are you afraid of heights?”
“No.” You breathe out, cursing yourself for worrying him. “I'm happy, I truly am and this is... This is beautiful and being here with you just makes everything better.” Looking up, you pull him into a kiss, taking in his amazing scent, from the cologne you love so much. “I'm alright, trust me,” you reassure him when we break the kiss.
“(Y/N), you were very, very loud earlier. You literally threw water on me. You can't possibly think I wouldn't notice you acting weird.” Billy keeps his index finger on your chin, forcing you to look into his eyes.
You really wish he could let it go because you don't want to ruin the night, but don't want to lie either. “I just saw something in the woods, but I'm sure it's nothing.” You try hard to keep the fear away from your voice, to keep it casual.
“Was it the same thing you saw the other time?” He asks, the expression on his face changing. It seems that you don't need to ask Billy to believe on what you saw. He does. You have no idea why or how, but it looks like he does. “The same thing James said he saw?”
“Yeah... Two of them. Running, keeping up with the car.” Your voice cracks by the end, as the image comes back to your mind. It's almost surreal that you're so scared of what's probably just some kind of animal. “It's stupid. I'm a big city girl, I'm not used to living this close to the woods.”
“It's not stupid.” He assures you, pecking your lips. “We'll check it out tomorrow, ok?”
“We should tell the police. What if it starts attacking people in the daylight?”
“It won't,” Billy states, not a single hint of doubt in his voice.
“What do you mean it won't? Do you know what it is? Is it nocturnal?” The words come out fast. If he knows what it is, why didn't he tell you on the first time? Billy looks away, taking a deep breath. “Billy?”
“I'll need you to trust me in this, (Y/N).” His voice is different, urgent, deep. Of course you trust him, how could you not?
“I do,” you say in a low voice. “You know I do. Is something going on that I don't know about?” As you speak, your time is over and you're back on the ground. Billy takes your hand and start walking away from the ferris wheel.
“I promise I'll tell you everything. But not here, and not today.” You both stop, and Billy cups your face. “For now, let's us just... Enjoy the moment. How does that sound?”
Taking a deep breath, you nod. It was the plan from the beginning, so you might as well stick to it. “Alright.”
“Come, I'll introduce you to my friends.”
Billy guides you through the fair, holding your hand. His friends are on the Northside, where parking is exclusive for the employees. But you don't think they care. You only know Tommy and Carol, the other two guys and the girl you only know from afar. When they recognize Billy, Tommy raises his hand and waves.
“You'll hate them.” Billy warns.
“Let me be the judge of that,” you whisper as you approach the guys.
“What's up, Billy,” Tommy says, smiling. “...And who's that?”
Of cours they're staring at you. Why would you even hope otherwise? You're not only the new girl, but now you're also the one who actually got Billy Hargrove. People won't just look. They'll stare. “This is (Y/N), my girlfriend,” Billy says and you wave at them. “(Y/N), these are Tommy, Carol, Ryan, Buck, and Emily.”
“Hi. It's nice to meet you, guys.” You simply say, involuntary moving closer to Billy when you notice Ryan's eyes lingering on you.
“Girlfriend? Are you kidding me?” Carol asks, giggling. “I knew you two were hanging out but dating? I must admit I didn't see that coming.”
“Why didn't you introduce her to us earlier, Billy?” Ryan mutters, taking a sip from his can. “Is she too... Pure to hang out with us?”
“Actually, yes,”
“And have you started corrupting her already?" Ryan flashes a smile, and it makes you feel uncomfortable. You can see when his eyes move through your body, up and down, his smile only widening. “Why don't you give me your number, sweetie? I can call when Billy boy here is done with you.”
“Don't you–”
“Do you happen to have Billy's number?” You ask, raising your voice and placing a hand on Billy's chest to stop him from moving. Ryan raises an eyebrow and nods, a big interrogation on his face. “Good. Then you already have my number.”
He bursts into a laugh, furrowing his eyebrows. “Nice one. You could just say no, though.”
“It's not a joke.” Smiling, you feel Billy's arms encircling your waist.
“Wait. Are you two living together or something?” Emily gestures at you and then at Billy, and you feel when he nods. “Shit, it's true then. You're pregnant.” She stands up straight, wide eyes.
“I knew it.” Tommy states.
“That again.” Rolling your eyes, you shake your head lightly. “I'm not pregnant. We're just–”
“Living together,” Billy states, his voice making it clear there will be no further explanation.
Everyone, basically at the same time, gasps, giggles, and Ryan spits out his drink. “Holy shit, Billy. Can't believe you're keeping this one. But this whole innocent act she has going on is very alluring, I must admit.”
“Want me to beat him up a little?” Billy whispers in your ear, and you can hear the anger building up. And you didn't like what Ryan said anyway.
“I did say I wouldn't stop you on the next time so be my guest,” you whisper back, shrugging your shoulders. Who are you to intervene if Billy wants to use his friend as a punching bag?
You give a step back when Billy moves, straight towards Ryan who has the decency of raising both his hands in defeat. “C'mon, Billy. You wouldn't hurt me because of one of your cows, would you? She's just–” Ryan is cut short by a hard punch on his stomach, which makes him bend over and forces the air out of his lungs.
“I would just–” Billy pulls him up again by the collar of his shirt, his fist then connecting to his jaw. “–warn you but–” A kick this time, on the ribs. “–you just can't keep your damn mouth shut, can you?” Billy pushes him violently, and Ryan stumbles down, blood all over his nose and mouth. “I believe my point is made.” He turns to look at the others and you do the same, just now noticing your eyes were fixed on the fight. If you can even call this a fight.
“No screwing with your girl,” Tommy states, exchanging a wide-eyed glance with Carol. “Got it.”
“Let's go, (Y/N).” Billy fixes his jacket and takes your hand. “Want some cotton candy?”
He is acting as if he didn't just leave a bleeding Ryan lying on the ground. “Yeah,” you mumble, raising an eyebrow at his smirk. Billy starts walking, not bothering to wave goodbye at his friends. “Just because I didn't like them it doesn't mean you can't hang out with them. I want to make this very clear.” You have to say it. In a relationship, a person shouldn't try to control who the other hangs out with.
“You're an angel, you know that? The other girls had me for one night and already wanted to control what I–” He stops talking suddenly, shaking his head slightly.
“What? You can say it, I made peace with whatever you did before.” As you speak, you start pulling him on a different direction. This parking lot is outside of the fair, so you're near the back of the attractions. A place gets your attention. It's a bit dark, but there's this blue and purple light, enough to illuminate it just a little bit.
“I know, but I shouldn't compare you to–. Where are you going?”
Not bothering to answer, you just start pulling him harder. “There.”
“I might like where this is going.”
“Jerk,” you mumble, smiling to find that whatever attraction this is, the back is shaped like an L, which gives you a perfect corner to hide. So you move to the very back of it. “Thank you again,” you say, turning around and walking backwards until your back hits the metal wall.
“For what?”
“For defending my honor. It's the second time and now I can thank you better than I did on the first time.” Of course, he already has that smirk on his face. The one you used to hate, that you used to be scared of because it made you feel... Weird. “I–”
The words get caught in your throat when Billy picks you up suddenly, both his hands grabbing your legs and placing them around his waist. You immediately wrap your arms around his neck to steady yourself, giggling. “For the height issue.”
“The height is not an issue,” you tell him, the blue and purple lights illuminating his face enough for you to take in his features. They're already memorized, burned in your brain, but you still like to look. “It's good to be on the same level though.”
“Mhm.” He mumbles and you close your eyes when you feel his lips brushing on yours.
You're used to the burning sensation, the sweet butterflies on your stomach as the anticipation kicks in.
On the moment his lips connect with yours, the amazing, breathtaking sensation is clouded by a groan. A... Growl. Billy pulls away immediately, letting you down. “What was that?” you ask, suddenly aware of the woods across the parking lot.
“Stay here, I–” Another snarl, low and guttural, and then you see it.
The thing comes from behind a large truck, some feet away. You're frozen at the sight. Now you can see it, clearly. And it's not an animal.
It has no fur, just blue, wet skin... And no face. You were right. James was right...
“(Y/N),” Billy calls, but you don't move. “(Y/N), c'mon.”
The thing moves slowly, and you have no idea how, but it knows you're here. It's looking straight at you and Billy, despite having no eyes. You're trying to make your body move, to send any signals to your legs, but it's useless.
Its face starts moving, all of it. You feel Billy grabbing your hand, a distant, numb feeling. Then, the animal's head opens up, and an unnatural growl emerges from its throat at the same moment you're pulled. You don't know how but your legs start working, and you're suddenly running, as fast as you can, back inside the fair. But you feel hunted, pursued. You're among the people again, but Billy keeps running, you don't know where. You can't think. Maybe you're going crazy, but you're pretty sure Billy saw it too. He wouldn't be running if he didn't, right?
“(Y/N),” Billy cups your face, and only then you notice you stopped. The sea of people move around you, but you can't really see it. “Listen. I need you to help me find Maxine. Or any of her friends. Ok?”
You simply nod, taking a deep breath and trying to get yourself back together. “Maxine,” you repeat, clenching your fists. “Or the boys. Alright. But n-no separating to look.” You burst out the last part, holding the collar of his jacket.
“No, we'll stay together. I just need you to–”
“Billy!” A low yell almost lost among the noises reaches you. You both turn your heads at the same time to find Max running, pushing people out of her way. She's with the boys, and someone older. “We gotta go. Now.” She says once she's close.
“We–”
“The Demodogs are back.” Dustin cuts Billy off, his voice getting all funny again. But you don't laugh this time. You're too scared to laugh.
“(Y/N)? Are you ok?” Max asks, and you don't know what to say.
You're feeling sick. There are too many people here, and that thing is out there... What if it starts attacking? There are kids here, toddlers... You feel your body failing, and a strong arm encircles your waist.
“My place. Everyone. Now.” Billy commands as you struggle to stand up, hiding your face on his chest.
Is there any possibility you're having a nightmare?
Because these... These things don't just happen. It doesn't exist, not in real life. It belongs only to sci-fi or horror movies.
Billy has a hand on your knee as you ride shotgun in his car, not listening to whatever Max, Lucas, and Dustin are talking about on the backseat. You're waiting to wake up, you think. Trying to shake the image of that thing's head opening up like it's been sliced apart. You feel how your hands are shaking when you touch your face, trying hard no cry out of desperation.
“Hey,” Billy says in a low voice. “Remember when I told you to trust me?”
Nodding, you dry off the stubborn tears before looking at him. “We'll fix this. I promise you.”
“How? How do we–”
“We'll tell you everything,” Lucas says, cutting in. “I mean, she saw it. She has to know, right?”
“Right. But your brain may explode, so be prepared.” Max touches your shoulder, but you can't understand why they seem so... Calm about this. They're worried, but not deadly, ultimately scared. How in the hell is that possible that you're the only one here on the verge of losing your damn mind?
“Let's get inside,” Billy says when we stop by his place. “And wait for the others.”
You can barely feel your body as you walk to the house. Billy remains by your side on the couch as the boys stay in the kitchen. The low chattering is unlistenable.
“How are you feeling, princess?”
“I don't know how to answer that. I just say a very weird dog cracking its head open.” Running a hand through your hair, you close your eyes shut. “It's about that lab, isn't it? This whole thing smells like some screwed up experiment that went wrong.”
“The truth is actually a lot worse than that.” As he speaks, the door opens and you jump back to your feet, breathing out relieved when you see it's just the rest of the guys. And three more people, about your age.
Everyone gathers around in the living room and you go back to your place beside Billy. It's creepy the way they all keep staring at you, exchanging glances.
“(Y/N), these are Steve, Nancy, and Jonathan. They're part of our party when it comes to... This.” Max starts, and the three of them nod and give you a little wave. “There are also Robin, Hopper, the chief of police and Joy, Will's mom, but they won't get here in time so... Let's just do this.”
Maxine takes the deepest breath, but when you think she'll start speaking, she doesn't.
“I swear to God I'll lose my freaking mind if one of you don't start explaining to me what the hell is going on here because I just saw some–some sick, zombie, dead dog with no face and the head just opened up like one of those carnivorous plants and I'm sure something is very, very wrong and–”
“Alright, I'll do it.” Eleven speaks up, stepping forward and gesturing for Billy to stand up. She takes his place, looking down at her hands before looking at you. “Ready for the strangest story you'll ever hear?”
×
@chloe-skywalker @dpaccione @dreamin-of-dacre @funeral-7 @uncookspaget @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @halloweenbitch2764 @redlovett @multific @shinydixon @nikkixostan @clockworkballerina
#imagine billy hargrove#billy hargove x reader#billy hargrove fanfiction#billy hargrove imagine#billy hargrove x y/n#billy stranger things#stranger things imagine#imagine stranger things#stranger things fanfiction
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You've got us.
Read on ao3
Buck took a deep breath as soon as Athena had left with Bobby. He tried to suppress the avalanche of feelings that had been trying to escape him since the moment Maddie had told him about Daniel. Twenty-nine years living in a giant, cruel lie. Now, at least he knew why his parents had never been able to love him. At least now, he understood why he had never felt good enough. It's because he never had been.
A few steps away, he saw Eddie approaching him while he removed his helmet and gloves and threw them in the back of the ambulance right next to Buck.
"I know what you're going to say. I was reckless, stupid, and could have died. I know that I just..."
Any other word died on his lips because Eddie held his face with both hands with such care and affection that Buck felt his throat close; no one had ever looked at him that way, as if he were hanging the moon, as if Eddie was afraid that he was going to disappear before his eyes.
"Never again, did you hear me? Never again do you dare to pull something like that on me. Damn it, Buck, I almost died thinking something might have happened to you."
His voice was hoarse and choked as if he was trying very hard not to burst into tears right there, and Buck wanted to say something, claim that he was fine and that nothing had happened, but then Eddie came closer, standing between Buck's legs, his body so close to Buck's, that he could feel his heartbeat through his uniform. As if that weren't enough, Eddie touched his forehead to Buck's, mixing their breath. There was nothing Buck could do but raise his hands to Eddie's waist, pulling him even closer.
"I'm truly sorry,” he murmured, watching as Eddie closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Buck followed in his footsteps, closing his eyes and concentrating only on Eddie's breathing, on the feeling of their bodies so close together, on how Eddie slid one of his hands up to the nape of his neck, pulling his hair so softly that Buck could barely feel it, but strong enough to give him the feeling of being terrified.
"Just promise me you will never do something like that again."
"Eddie, you know I can't..."
"No!” He looked away and opened his eyes, staring at Buck with determination. "I don't care that this is the job. You can't put yourself in danger like that, do you understand me? What the hell am I going to say to Christopher if something happens to you? That boy loves you, Buck; you're too important to him."
"I know, but Eddie I..."
"What about me? Damn Buck, what the fuck am I supposed to do if something happens to you? Have you ever stopped to think about that? I know you always put other people above yourself, that you always want to save everyone and you don't care to put your life on the line to do it, but... think of me, okay? If you want to put others above yourself so badly, then put me and Chris first. Every time you decide to risk yourself like this, think first about what it would do to us. "
"Eddie, I'm so sorry... you're right. I didn't think what it would do to you and Chris. Honestly, I didn't think it could affect you so much."
"How could you not know, Buck? How can you not know how important you are to us? Buck, I...” he took a deep breath again and then took Buck's face in his hands one more, making the blonde look at him directly in the eyes. "If anything happened to you, I would completely lose my mind; do you understand that? I would die, Buck, okay? You are everything and... you can't... never... okay? You can't leave me."
"I won't,” he says as firmly as he can, his blue eyes are already wet with tears and his voice breaking slightly. But he holds Eddie around the waist again and pulls him even closer than before, hugging him tightly as he sinks his face against his neck, breathing in the smell that is so unmistakably Eddie even under the smell of all the smoke.
"Please Buck, I know there's something going on inside your head. Please talk to me; it kills me to see you like this."
"I wasn’t enough, Eddie,” he grumbles against Eddie's neck, feeling like he just wants to hug him even tighter, and stroking the back of his neck. "They had me as a baby savior, but I couldn't save Daniel... I wasn't enough, and they hated me for it."
"Hey, no. Buck, you can't blame yourself for that, do you hear me? Your parents had no right to put that weight on you, much less the right to walk away from you after Daniel died. That's on them, Buck, not you. "
"Maybe. But they were also right, weren't they? I always do everything wrong, Eddie; I was a handful to Bobby when I walked into the fire department, always being irresponsible and reckless. I wasn't there when Maddie needed me, I... Eddie, I lost Christopher; you trusted me, and I... I lost him. "
"No, Buck!”Eddie moved away again, just enough to look into Buck's eyes, but close enough to still keep him in his arms. "You are an excellent firefighter, and Bobby couldn't have anyone better than you at 118. You took care of Maddie and protected her ever since she came to LA; you were there, Buck, every step of the way you stood beside her. And Chris... Jesus, Buck, you need to stop blaming yourself for this. You never lost him, Buck, a tsunami happened and you did everything to make sure he was safe, nothing that happened was your fault. "
"Yeah maybe, but I..."
"God, you have no idea how much I wish you could see yourself through my eyes. Maybe that way you would see the wonderful man you are. You care about everyone, you are loving and caring, you are always willing to help and reach out to anyone who needs it. "
Eddie smiled tenderly and ran his fingertips over Buck's face, wiping away the tears that were starting to trickle down the blonde's cheek.
"You are the man who spends his nights off playing video games with my son or watching cartoon movies; you help him with his homework and read about the subjects he’s interested in so you can talk to him about them later. You play lego with him on my living room floor, read bedtime stories to him, and make pancakes for breakfast because you know he loves them and that I can’t keep from burning them. You’re the man who assures me that I’m an excellent father every time I doubt myself, the guy who helped me build a skateboard so my son can feel like any other child. You are... something, Buck. You are unique. You are special. "
"Eddie..."
"And above it all, Buck, you are enough. You are more than enough for Christopher, and you are more than enough for me. Maybe your parents can't see it, but then, it's their fault, it's their loss. I just need you to know that you're not alone, Chris and I are here; you've got us, ‘cause we're not going anywhere, but I need you to stay too, okay? I need you to promise me you won't go anywhere either, Buck, because I wouldn't know how to survive if you did. "
"I promise."
"Do you mean that?"
"Yes, I promise, Eddie. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."
"Good, because I love you, Buck; I'm completely in love with you and I can't lose you, do you understand?"
Buck was going to answer, he really was going to say something, because, honestly, he had a million things to say in that moment.
He wanted to say that he was also completely in love with Eddie, he wanted to say that he couldn't lose him either and that just the thought of something like that happening had left Buck awake for several nights. He wanted to say that when he had seen Eddie buried under all that mud, not knowing if they were going to get him back alive, that at that moment Buck had almost died, that for a few minutes he’d had to imagine his whole life without Eddie and that he would rather die than face that future.
He wanted to say that he loved Christopher so deeply that it scared him sometimes, that he would give his life for that boy. There were a million things he wanted to say; but how could he say anything when Eddie pressed his lips against Buck's so firmly and so smoothly at the same time?
How could he speak any words when he was being kissed by the man he loved with all his heart and soul?
There he was, living a moment that he had lived countless times in his dreams, but that he had never thought he would be able to experience in reality.
And it was beautiful, it was intense, it was passionate and it tasted like a bright future. It was not the scene he had dreamed of; it didn’t have the romantic atmosphere of a candlelight dinner and music playing in the background.
What they had were sirens and voices echoing everywhere, and the smell of smoke and the fumes of whatever product came from that factory.
It was messy and sloppy and perfect, and Buck wouldn't change a thing.
"Come home with me," Eddie murmured against his lips. Home. That sounded good.
When they were finally released from their shift, Eddie drove through the streets of Los Angeles holding Buck's hand against his thigh, refusing to stop touching him even for a second, as if he needed a guarantee that Buck was there, alive, beside him. And Buck would never deny Eddie's touch.
Entering Eddie's house brought a warm feeling to his chest; here he felt welcome and at home... but then again, home always seemed to be wherever Eddie and Chris were.
"We need to clean up," Eddie whispered as he took Buck's hand and led him to the bathroom. There was nothing sexual about the way they slowly undressed each other, nor the way they got under the shower, washing away any traces of soot and dirt from their skins. Eddie hugged him under the jet of hot water, his hands running down Buck's back, stroking him tenderly. He kissed Buck's hair, his forehead, his birthmark, his cheek, his nose, his lips.
The second kiss was even better than the first, and the third better than the second.
They kissed without the slightest hurry, only concerned with savoring the taste of one another exploring every inch of each other's mouths, memorizing every second; because now they can.
And later, when they were both lying on the bed in nothing but their underwear, Buck curled up in Eddie's arms, feeling calm and welcomed in the warmth of Eddie's skin and the feeling of his breath against his neck. The darkness in the room seemed perfect at that moment, and Buck was lost in the rhythmic beating of Eddie's heart against his back.
"Eddie?"
"Yes, cariño?"
"I love you, too."
He was finally home.
#buddie#buddie fanfic#buddie fic#buck x eddie#evan buck buckley#evan buckley#eddie diaz#edmundo diaz#Episode: s04e05 Buck Begins#buck begins#911 fox#911 fic#that's what should had happened#buck deserves better#buck deserves the world#i never know how to tag these
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One of the biggest problems I have with eddie@na and buckt@ylor is the imbalance of the two ships where there's such a balance with buddie. Like with buckt@ylor it's too much all the time! Buck is, I wouldn't say at his worst, but he's too reckless and doesn't think things through as much when he's with her because she's the same way and with eddie@na it's not enough and kinda boring (and we know Eddie isn't boring), like they try to be all domestic but it always falls flat and again wouldn't say he's at his worst but he's definitely not himself when he's around her. But with Buddie, they perfectly balance each other out! There's excitement and adventure but also calm domestic moments and movie nights. They are what each other needs and their just too stupid and oblivious to see it.
And I just don't get buddie fans saying "well if buddie doesn't happen, I'm okay with buckt@ylor happening"....it's because their both hot right? Because I know it's not because she's right for him. Like yeah they are both hot but to me she is the complete opposite of what he actually wants and needs. He wants to settle down and have a family and she doesn't seem the type who wants that (nothing wrong with that), she's more career driven and doesn't seem to settle down with someone anytime soon.
Hello nonnie!! I agree with you, there is def an imbalance with Buck/Taylor & Eddie/A*a in comparison to Buddie. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it til I die, Eddie has brought out the best in Buck. Before he came along, Buck was more reckless and young, willing to do whatever without really having someone care for him truly. The second Eddie came into the picture and introduced Buck to Christopher, I saw a definite change in Buck. I remember that conversation with Bobby in s1, where he advised Buck to step in with Abby to help her out but he never got that chance. He did however go there with Eddie right from the beginning. He stepped in when Eddie was struggling and offered him support/help with Christopher, and has been doing that since. I think with Taylor, he tends to feel like who he was before, young and seeking adventure, more like Buck 2.0. We know he’s at Buck 3.0 now and I like to believe this is a more mature, reserved Buck. Someone Who wants to settle down and have his own family. I honestly cannot see that person being Taylor at all. From what we know of her, she is very dedicated to her job and will do whatever it takes to get ahead (which hell yes I’m all for independent and successful women). But that is not the ideal partner for Buck.
As for Eddie/A*a, I just have nothing more to add then they just do not have any chemistry and they are a very boring/bland couple. Eddie is sassy, has dry humor and is exciting so to be with a boring Vice Principal? Yeah I can’t imagine how exciting his life will be if he has to share it with her. 
Buck and Eddie are perfect because yes they do balance each other out. Eddie is Buck’s impulse control for one and Buck can’t be reckless when he has people (Eddie & Chris) who need him in their lives. Buck also brings out the sassier, carefree side of Eddie. He’s smiling more, teasing/flirting, and has had tremendous support for Buck. Bucks validated Eddie as a father many times and helped him with Christopher in different ways.
I am totally fine with what other people wanna ship bc that is their right obviously & I’m not one to argue and get into ship wars, but I am a firm Buddie shipper. They’re my otp and I do strongly believe they’re gonna happen! I don’t see how people who ship Buddie are so easily jumping ship just bc of a few roadblocks. I mean this is a slow burn, friends too lovers. It’s not gonna happen overnight but the show has invested a lot of time in building their relationship for it to just simply go to waste you know? Being “hot” for someone does not mean they’re the right person for them and if some people think that’s ok, than that’s perfectly fine!! I’m not one to say who people can or can’t ship you know? I will say however that I strongly believe Buck is in a place where he wants to settle down and have that family he’s been yearning for years. Eddie needs a partner who’s gonna understand his line of work and how important his son is to him. Someone who he’s going to be able to trust as a coparent. He has that already, they both do which is why I’m gonna end this whole thing by saying they’re perfect for each other and I can’t wait til they finally get together and live happily ever after ☺️
#buddie#juju answers#anon asks#taylor kelly#a*a flores negativity#this was super long I’m sorry#just my thoughts on the matter#everyone can ship whoever they want#but I’m going down with the buddie ship
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Hawks x Reader
You look at the clock in disbelief as the hand strikes twelve. You sat on the couch drinking wine with tears running down your face. Your husband is no where to be found. Again. Its your fourth anniversary and he has not been home at all today. Suddenly you hear the door unlock but you don't even look your just take another sip of your wine. You could tell he was at least tipsy as he stumbles in the house. He looks over to you and see your cup and tear streaked face. Walking closer he realized you’re dressed up and a card lays on the cushion next to her reading happy anniversary. Before he could even speak you start. "Two years. You haven't been here for an event for two years. You've missed even our own daughters birthdays." You say seething with anger. "Y/n listen" he starts. "You know what Kiego?! You can go fuck yourself! Get the hell out!" You scream at hawks throwing his jacket and shoes at him. "Come on Y/N do you really want to end things like this? Please don't give up on me!" He says pleading. "You have missed every single family event the past two years. If you want to drown in a bottle or use work as an excuse, me and our daughter deserve better than that!" You scream while crying. hawks now crying as well sinks to the floor realizing that you wear right. Every single family event for the past two years he has either been working or drinking. "Ill stop drinking babe! I wont ever drink again if that's what you want!" He cries. "I don't want you to do anything but be the man i thought i married. But i cant even trust you to do that considering you're never here" you shout. "Okay y/n ill leave. But i promise you I'm going to do better from here on!" He says walking out the door.you close it behind him and sink to the bottom balling your eyes out. His heart breaks as he hears your cries, the cries that he caused.
He gets in his car and drives to a hotel to give you space. At the hotel he cry's into his bottle of jack thinking about the facts and the facts are her has not been there for his own family. His two year older daughter ember is 3 and he hasn't been to her 2nd or 3rd birthday parties. He's always just told y/n something came up. "I really am a pathetic excuse of a man. My wife is perfect and my daughter is my pride and joy but I still do shit like this. I'm never fucking around when I need to be" he says crying harder. Back at the house y/n pretty much cried herself to sleep. The next day you send him a text telling him to stay away until he can prove to his family that we come first. He gave a simple okay response. You spend the day with ember playing with her and cooking dinner for her. Once you put ember to bed you head to your own room. You lay in bed with no one beside you and the loneliness makes you cry again. "I just wish he was here" you say as you drift asleep.
Six months later:
A few months ago I was strong enough to invite him over for dinner. Ember was with her grand parents as to not be involved in our issues. We made a deal that he would stay at a hotel and every weekend he can come over for dinner. So far he has made more time for our family than he ever has. He even has a glow on him now that he isn't drinking. That's right, he stopped drinking after that night. And tonight after six long and lonely months you really wanted him back home. He invited you out on a date at a nice restaurant and your mom offered to keep ember. You hear the doorbell ring as you make your way down stairs. He's wears a nice pair of pants and a button down. And this is what you have on with your hair in a pony tail.
"Wow... you look stunning babe" he says blushing. "Thank you kiego" you say blushing as well. You both leave and head to the restaurant. Once you are there the staff seat you and bring a bottle of wine. "Oh sir I don't drink thank you though" he says pushing the bottle away. "You sure you don't want any?" You asks. "No love I'm good you enjoy yourself" he says smiling. Impressed you start talking to him about how he's been and how work is. Come to think of it you haven't seen him even look at a drop of alcohol since that night. After a while he grabs your hand and looks into your eyes. "I miss you y/n and I miss ember" he says kissing your hand gently. "We miss you too kiego" you say softly. "I've been thinking a lot and would it be too forward of me to ask if I could stay over tonight?" He asks putting his head down a bit waiting to be rejected again. You have seen his efforts and he really has gotten better. Plus I really do miss him. You think to yourself blushing a bit. "You can come home kiego" you say shyly. His face lit up and he rested his forehead on your hand in relief. "Thank god..." he says as a single tear falls down his face. "C-can I kiss you y/n?" He asks. You grab his blazer and your lips crash onto each other's. You pull away blushing and ask him to take them home. He happily complies and after paying they head home.
As soon as they open the door you pull him into another kiss but this one more aggressive. His wings puff up a bit as things heat up. He takes his blazer off and pulls you close to him deepening your kiss. He pushed your back against the wall sliding his hand up your dress and grabbing your ass. You moans into the kiss at his touch and his mouth slowly moved down to your jawline then neck. Your moans are light as your hands rubs on his arms. "Can I please take you baby? It's been so long and I think I might lose my mind." He asks desperately. "Please kiego" you moan. He picks your up with your legs around his waist and walks you upstairs to the bedroom. He kicks open the door and places you on the bed with him between your legs. His mouth attacking your neck desperately searching for your voice. As your hands feel all over one another his head trails down to your panties and he licks your clit through the fabric making your body tingle a bit. "Don't tease me baby... please, I really need it" you say squirming. He smirks "As you wish baby" and slides your panties to the side and he begins to devour you. "Fuck~!” You moan as you tug on his hair a bit from the pleasure but also trying to show resistance. You use your hand to muffle your moans but this made him stop completely. He looks up at you with feral eyes. "I haven't touched you in over 6 months baby... move that fucking hand and let me hear you." He growls at you. His eyes even looked different as if he was truly an animal And you were his prey. You do as your told and slowly move your hand. He wastes no time going back to his meal. His hands now gripping your thighs to keep you in place as he slides his tongue inside you. "K-kiego ngh yes baby~" you moan loudly as you squirm under him.
He repeatedly moves his muscle in that motion and slurping you up as he pulled out. "I fucking missed you dove... your taste is even more delicious" he groans as he gently sucks on your clit. Your hips buck into his mouth as pleasure consumes you making you feel like melting into him. Minutes went by like this as you’re edged closer and closer. His mouth creating lewd noises as you gush over and over again. But soon to feel a tremendous pressure in the pit of your soul. Your moans slowly becoming whimpers. "I can feel it baby... cum for me dove" he groans as he laps at your throbbing pussy. Your breathing becoming quite heavy as he worked for your juices. "I-I I'm cumming ki- fuuuck" you moan wildly as he laps up your cum faster than it can come out of you. He suddenly takes one of his feathers making it sharp and cuts off both of your clothes before he lines himself up with your pussy. He shoves himself completely inside you unexpectedly causing you to cum again. Your mind melting as you clentch hard around him. He looks at you and leans down to your face. "Did my baby just cum from me putting it in?" He smirks. You nod shaking as your hands wrap around his neck. Without another word you kiss him deeply as he starts thrusting into your tight pussy. "I-I'm so sorry baby I can't control myself" he growls as he then pulls out of you and aggressively flips you on all fours and shoving himself back into you. You cry out in pleasure as he pounds into you at inhumane speeds. His hand digging into your hip and the other gripping your arm behind your back. You feel another climax close as your skin collides over and over again.
Feeling you grip him tighter he slows down a bit but slams into you as hard as he can again and again. "Yes! Yes! Yes baby aaahhh Break me!!!!" You cry out and after a few thrusts like that you begin to squirt all over the bed. He stops amazed at what just happened. "Damn baby... I didn't know you could do that" he says blushing. You couldn't speak just moan and pant. "Let's try that again shall we?" Flipping you on you back and lifting your hips to meet his while you upper body still on the bed. "This time I wanna see it" he says licking his lips. He slides back in and goes at it like he never left. He loved the way you looked right now. Feral and completely destroyed because of him. He drools at the sight of your wet pussy being filled by him, by the way your breasts bounced harshly because of his thrusting. Your completely a mess under him barely being about to say anything besides incoherent words and whimpers. Soon you feel that strange sensation again as you neared another orgasm. "Ki! Aahh daddy~" you cry out as you grip his thighs. "Do it baby!" He moans and with that you being to squirt all over his lower stomach, cock and legs. This time much more intense as your mind went hazy for a few moments. He doesn't stop though and thrusts into a few more times before slowing down and running his hand on your stomach. "I think it's time we gave ember a sibling~" he moans. Your eyes weakly looked at his and all you could do was smile. He thrusts into you one final time as his shoots his cum deep in your womb. "God b-baby you feels so good" he moans as his cock twitches inside your throbbing pussy. You both catch your breath before cleaning up the bed and yourselves before falling asleep.
The next morning the sun beams through the room as you wake up. Kiego sleeping peacefully next to you. You kept thinking about last night blushing from what he said about giving ember a sibling. "Well if that's true then maybe I should help him out achieving that goal" you think to yourself smirking. You knew he was a heavy sleeper so you crawl between his legs and slipped his boxers off. You grab his already hard cock and slowly pump him causing his muscles to jump a bit. After a few pumps you slowly lick around the tip and suck on it softly. He moans in his sleep and his breathing pattern become irregular. You then smirk and shove him completely in your throat quickly and wastes not a moment deep throating him. He wakes up moaning loudly pulling back the blanket staring at you with a red face. "B-baby what ahh~" his moans not allowing him to speak properly. You ignore him and climb on top slowly sinking yourself down on him. His head falling back into the bed from the pleasure. You roll your hips into his instead of bouncing making both of you moan aloud. You pull him back up and wrap your hands around his neck while he’s gripping your waist. His mouth sucking on your neck harshly leaving marks everywhere his tongue danced. "I'm so close baby~" he moans into you and he thrusts into you. You throw your body back and grip his thighs as you bounce on his cock forcing your skin to slap against his own.
His grip tightens as he nears his climax. Your pace quickens as you chase your own climax as well. "Feels s-so good daddy~" you moan into the air as you clench around him. "Shit dove I-I'm gunna cum" he moans as sweat beads on his forehead. "Fill me up d-daddy. I want it deep inside~" you moan as you cum hard on his cock. He fucks you back harder and soon after he feels himself about to cum. "Fuck yes baby! Mmmmph shiiit~" he growls as his cum fills you deep. You lean forward keeping him inside you and kiss him passionately. He grabs the back of your head deepening the kiss slipping his tongue in. He pulls back and looks into your wild eyes panting. "What's gotten into you?" He says. "You said you wanted to give ember a sibling so I thought I'd help you out" you say smirking. He laughs a bit before kissing you again. "Then let's spend the day making sure we achieve that goal. What do you say love?" He says as he gets hard again still inside you making you moan. "Yes daddy" you say.
#mha lemon#hawks x reader#mha smut#writing#fanfic#wing hero hawks#hawks smut#hawks#bnha#bnha x reader#kiego x reader#kiego takami
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im so sorry but this is gonna be really long 😭 i know it's a bit late but i just read a sea of flowers in bloom because i got busy while waiting for it to finish (im too impatient to read on going series') and i really need to let this all out. i apologize for bad grammar and vocabulary in advance—im still crying
first i wanna say that you captured all the emotions so well. i cried reading every single chapter (because i was either sad, hurt, or proud). the way you wrote it was so beautifully expressive and described, i couldn't help but hold onto every word you wrote. your writing style never ceases to amaze and enchant me.
moving forward tho, i love how the story really captured how an individual's insecurities and self perception affect how they make their choices and how their relationships play out. i think that's something that's greatly overlooked yet so important to remember (both when evaluating yourself and the actions of others). i also love how you also showcased the importance of communication, not just with your partner/potential partner but also the release of emotions and the troubles we don't notice we have.
you managed to highlight the importance of being open to change and learning how to rely on yourself for happiness and i think you wrote that so beautifully—it felt so real and raw. i was so proud of mc for slowly realizing how much power she holds over her own happiness and it was so realistic how she found the strength to move forward when Kaiyo needed her the most—because that's what a sense of responsibility, indebtedness, and most importantly love does. Their friendship is beautiful and it's wonderfully executed.
i love how you dedicated a whole chapter to how kita feels and his thought process (tho it isn't surprising since you do give both perspectives in all your other stories) and how he came into terms with the fact that he wanted to try—he's going to try because he wants her. i also love how you implied that communication took time for them and how it's a conscious effort on both parts. there's also the fact that they have their own little 'ritual' of saying "It's because you love my voice" for when they need confidence to say what's on their minds,,, ma'am pls u made me cry more with how soft and meaningful that is, how your love for someone will give you courage and confidence because they love something about you or how you do something. it's just so real.
it really is beautifully written story about two people who learn that there's someone out there that will love them for the people that they are.
there's so much more I'd like to say, but i think this is enough for now. Thank you so much for sharing your writing with us, you're truly so talented. I can't wait to read your future work and reread all your other stories! I hope you stay safe always and get a good amount of rest!
much love, yenyen <3
ps. congrats on your new job! go get that raise 😩 still can't believe there are decent bosses in this world tho HAHAHAHA
yenyen! *blows kisses in your direction, gently wipes yr tears away*
right so - pls don't ever apologise for length or grammar or wtv - i love love your ask, and i think i must've read it at least ten times ehehe and i shld be the one to apologise for answering this so late!
i think i started off wanting to write this as a simple love story with the v handsome, v wonderful kita shinsuke, but i just wasn't satisfied with how kita's oftentimes depicted as the perfect man (i mean i personally love reading fics like that - e.g. @inarizahki drabbles never fail to make me hoot and fall in love) and i wanted for my own fic, to delve in deeper, dig into his psyche, his insecurities, his fears. and so while doing that, i developed the reader's own journey, her own fears and insecurities paralleling his, and how their choices make them grow and make their relationship eventually not just possible, but very, very fruitful ;)
hahaha now im worried im gonna be predictable (but i do love writing both perspectives in my fics!! good spot there hoho) but it is so true. marriage has taught me that communication is key, bcos good intentions can only get you so far. it's not an easy thing for either of them to learn, but like you said - their love gives them confidence, their love builds trust, and that little ritual - talk to me, because i love the sound of your voice is just...something that spoke to me and i felt like that would really be the cornerstone of their eventual relationship, because miscommunications really derailed their early friendship and courtship.
and the reader's friendship with kaiyo. y'know i was worried that...i might bore ppl bcos kaiyo is my own character, and we're here to read romance HAHAHA but it's just so impt to me to write women supporting women and healthy female friendships so they really have each other's backs, and it's just such a meaningful moment to me when the reader realises that she's got to buck the fuck up when kaiyo's down for the count and ugh. i love the both of them.
oh gosh i'm glad you love my other works too!!!! i feel like each work of mine in the storm chaser universe is kinda different in tone, but it's just fun tying them all together :)
p.s. yeah like - i didn't know i cld get out there and fight for that raise, and get a healthier work environment with nicer bosses but wanting to pull my weight in my marriage really motivated me HAHAHAHA. fingers crossed it turns out well, but ty for the well wishes bb <3
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