hmm i wonder if the fact that i’m in a really bad reading slump and can only read fanfics or reread favorite books (where i’m consuming media with familiar and comforting characters and worlds) says something about my mental state

No one was there for me as a kid. I was isolated beyond belief. Bullied in school. The cops wouldn't help me. Nothing. I was turned into a problem child even though I was doing my best to do what people wanted. Pedo shit seemed like the only way I would get any acknowledgement of my existence. Then I got too old.

I had betrayals that seemed almost comical. As an adult I didn't find any support or anything really. I really don't know what to believe or anything. It wasn't until my last relationship that I really learned what love felt like. The first time I've really smiled was with him. But he's dead now.

I had to fight for everything. I was trying my best to be better. I was trying to make new friends. But it's been over a decade now of trying my best. I never really drank alcohol or did drugs or did anything bad for the most part. But I never learned how to live either. I still don't know what I'm allowed to do in a lot of ways.

I love my grandparents but they were busy with work 24/7 until the past few years. Also no one wants to believe that their kid is a bit of a piece of shit. It's hard to feel close to people who defended someone who hurt you so deeply but I understand it. They care about me but it's hard for me to feel it.

No matter what I do it seems like there's no way to work around the damage that's been done. I was really struggling with my physical health already but with losing the person who I was just starting to accept actually loved me. Idk. I just want to be done with it all.

I still wonder how much of anything was real. My abandonment issues are even worse than before. I think I might've been okay if I had managed to make some friends before this all happened, but I didn't. I do have 4 friends but all of them have lives and I don't get to talk to them very often.

I don't have anyone to talk to. Just in general. But I can't handle talking to strangers rn. Trying to reach out to form new connections is incredibly painful because most people don't like me. I thought about trying to stream again on twitch but no one cares so I'm just talking with myself.

I'm exhausted from having tried so hard for so long. Hoping for things to change. I kept going from shit situation to shit situation but different. And when I finally got things into a good situation, I lost my ability to walk. I lost my job. My legs were basically my lifeline because I could always walk away before. Now I was trapped. I was only just starting to recover from it all when the person I love died.

So now I don't want to put the effort into getting better. Why bother. As soon as anything good comes, it gets cursed. There's no time to enjoy it. And I'm painfully aware of how much worse everything could be. At least I'm not being drugged or trafficked or whatever. I can easily imagine much worse positions to be in.

I'm scared that reincarnation is a thing. Physically speaking I got relatively lucky in this life. To my knowledge I haven't even broken a bone. Emotionally however I was cursed with no connection. Until much later in my life and then it was torn from me. I think I'd take the physical pain and have people to bond with if I could.

It's too late for me now. I've been so thoroughly annihilated. It would take another miracle to save me. I've already had too many miracles in my life. I've already survived too many times. 25kg is something I hold onto to remind me that it was real. You can see it in the pictures. I just wish I could afford peace. I want to be free. But yet I keep living.

IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ!

hey, kevin here, i apologize that somethin' of this matter is being posted so late like this and so sudden. i won't be typing as i usually do as the accusations here are a serious matter and there won't be a need for my usual, light-hearted typing style.

it has come to my attention, though this information has been kept private for maybe a month, two? but has only just recently been brought to my attention by a good friend of mine. the claims were sent to him over instagram by my ex; kai or huhrizon. the photo will be attached below in which, kai, is laughing about the fact he believes he's found out that i am a minor. more specifically, fifteen. which couldn't be farther from the truth, this thread will be debunking and defending myself before he can come out and express these fabricated lies to try and ruin my reputation because he's upset that i wasn't ready for a relationship.

kai messaging mattia over the fact he believes he has uncovered 'my mother's facebook profile'. which will be debunked below.

very interesting that you decided to not only, try to uncover things about my identity after i politely explained to you that i no longer wanted to pursue a relationship, but that you're brewing up fake rumours just to try to get back at me for it.

onto the main claim. kai has been professing, that i, am infact a fifteen year old falsifying his age online. the reason he believes these claims are that, one, he found my mother's facebook profile. and two, that there was a photo on there of me, with the caption 'happy birthday kevin' posted onto the account. mattia has explained to me that this photo isn't here to be displayed as evidence, solely because kai sent the picture through instagram's vanish mode.

* this mode automatically deletes anything sent after the chat is closed.

mattia informed me that this photo was overall suspicious though as kai had blurred out the user's facebook handle. very odd indeed kai, very odd. i have no clue what this women looked like as there were no further photos, so until then, i don't know how i can debunk the woman not being my mother; appearance wise.

what reason do i have to believe this is motivated out of spite? before kai and i had become acquainted, i followed him through dylan, who had publicity posted about how his friend had created a dark blog. wanting to follow more creators who shared a similar interest, i followed him. immediately, kai had started sending asks about whether or not i was single. we had not talked nor even messages before, we had liked a few of each others posts and that was the max of our interactions. but i responded with a flirty remark, which i am now known for, but wasn't at the time. flirting was thrown back and fourth and after awhile i had realized i was no longer ready, mentally or emotionally for a relationship at that point in time. i still had full feelings for kai, yet kindly expressed my discomfort with a relationship. which he mutually accepted and that was that. i thought we were ended things on great terms, we both communicated and got our messages out of the way.

apparently this was not the case, as kai, without my knowledge goes to search for any sort of dirt he can find on me. which, i will be using a post by dylan to explain why i have reason to be swayed into the fact this was out of anger— i love dylan, and he's not included in these accusations whatsoever, but this post is important to view. do not drag him into this, please. i'm serious.

dylan admits to kai being able to ruin people's lives for fun. which is obviously, not a good look for him. he purposefully goes on the hunt for any information he can attach to someone. unluckily for him, he couldn't find anything worth exposing, so he restorts to making up lies about my age in an attempt to get some sort of revenge? as punishment for breaking his heart i presume. very, very mature after a breakup which i calmly and kindly let you know that i wasn't ready for anything further.

now, onto the rebuttal i have for his big accusation; me being a fifteen year old who's mother's social, kai sniffed up. my mother does not own any form of social media, she has an email which is technically not even a social app. ( this is used for her grad teachers, in order to contact her for reasons that will be explained ).

my mother hasn't had any social app for years, much less posts or takes photos of us to display whatsoever. my mother entered a relationship with a man, who at the time she didn't know was very, very anti-lgbtq.

* before anything else it's important to note that kai, believes i have a brother. i told him this in order to stray away any true information about me, as there are very few people i fully trust with the knowledge of my personal life. much less, someone who i just met at the time; i.e kai. kai had mentioned a friend of either his or his brothers being named 'hank' to try to also fit the lie of having a brother, i told him it was a funny coincidence that my brother had the same name. i do not have a brother, my sister and i are both trans— she being mtf, and i being ftm. she has given me explicit permission to disclose this, as i wouldn't ever dream of letting that information out without her word.

this leads into my main argument. my mother had been with this man for quite awhile, and had finally asked us for permission to give him the news, that we were both transgender and that he should know for the future of our family. he obviously, did not take this well. to keep details minimal for the safety of my family, i'll briefly explain some of the shit he's done to my mother. stalk, threaten, send unsolicited photos and dead animals to our home, try to get my mother to meet up - or find her location to meet up with her, and many, many more vile things. my family has been hiding, moving, and changing our identities ever since. my mother has wanted a healthy, safe environment for her children to grow up in without fear that their lives would be taken or in some way ruined by this man. we can't keep a house for more than a year before we're forced to go into hiding because of a message from him or some sick prank from somebody who knows about the situation. this is all i can say, as i don't want him to somehow get ahold of this post. which is also why i am withholding my families legal names as well as her ex's legal name just to be cautious. though it is never ever justified to lie to your partner, kai and i had barely talked and i felt pressured by the environment and excitement to rush headfirst into a relationship. causing me to hold back any truth to my personal life, excluding interests, stories, and stuff of that sort. which deserves an apology all on it's own.

now, where this fifteen, number came from. not a clue in hell, my sister, is sixteen but was fifteen at the time i was in a relationship with kai. i have no clue if this has anything to do with it, but he knew, as i told him i was celebrating her birthday through text. letting him know, the age she was and the age she was turning.

i live off the grid and always have. my legal name is not on here, my family or friends names, etc. my personality, all me, the stories or hobbies i have? true. my job? true. i express the true me on here while still holding back information that could cause my family into another year of hiding. my mother never has and never will have any socials. she barely uses her email out of fear, but has no choice as it's her only means of communication to her job.

another quick thing i would like to mention, to be truthful, as this is a post solely based on trust alone. as i have no physical evidence to back it up. i sent a photo to kai, letting him know it was taken when i was in middle school. i told him my mother put a filter over it, which is weird right? i just explained how my mother doesn't have socials, he's got to be lying, right? no, my teacher had taken the photo and she had edited on her photo to show our grandma, who she sent the image through phone messages. this was no lie, but it was a misdirection to try to get kai to believe my mother posted about me. i still didn't trust him and never fully did, so this was another. morally wrong, attempt to cover my true identity by lying to him about it. which, again, never right to lie to your partner. but i have a family to protect, it's hard to make friends and relationships online when you have to hide who you truly are your whole life. and i'm sorry that's been the case, though the information my mutuals privately know is all the truth. i've grown to trust a fair few, so thank you.

as a summary, these claims are total bullshit. i can provide more context or answers to any questions you may have, below, through dms, or through my inbox. this was once again posted before he could get his word out, as i wanted to make sure everyone knew what i had to say, in case he decided to 'expose' me while i was at work, or too busy to compile a rebuttal. thank you all for listening, you don't have to believe a word of this. as yes, my story does sound far-fetched but i have no way that i can verify it without putting my family in danger. which, i'd much rather lose my online status over a silly rumour than harm my family for another multitude of years. this is a rather short and rushed post though, as it's been bugging me for awhile and i just need to push it out.

memories. (m)

pairing: min yoongi x reader

genre: angst, smut, a liiittle bit of fluff in some places

word count: 6.2k (it wasn’t supposed to be this LONG IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A DRABBLE)

 warnings: eh where do i start... reader is VERY traumatized, she’s kinda crazy too (just a little) mentions of major character death, familial issues, this fic is just very dark for like the first 2k words lol, yoongi loves his fucking sword, commoner!yoongi, king!yoongi, criminal!reader, exhibitionism, unprotected sex, hair pulling, dom!yoongi, etc.

summary: “We can save the details for later. I accept your apology, and I really want to fucking kiss you.”

notes: inspired by @dontaskshhhhh and the daechwita mv. there’s probably many typos as usual y’all—

Even though you were a lowlife, you couldn’t stand being handled roughly.

It wasn’t your fault that you had an unfortunate upbringing. Your parents were very wealthy when you were born, but after the family business failed due to illegal scamming and falsifying of information, you were left to support yourself.

Literally. They didn’t give you a single thing to live off of after the age of five, which was fine. Your grandparents took after you, and once you were able to have a say in it, you decided to never set foot in the presence of your mother and father again if you could help it.

All was fine up for the next twelve years after that, until your grandparents bailed out on you too. Something about not having the funds to support all three of you financially, although they had several beach houses to their names, and enormous retirement checks to rely on.

You had gotten used to being given up on by this point, so you weren’t as emotionally devastated as you should’ve been when you’d come home from school one day, and your grandparents had all of your belongings packed up by the front door with a nice little note on top to let you know that you’d have to find somewhere else to lay your head.

They didn’t even have the decency to tell you to fuck off in person. You laugh sometimes thinking about it, since that’s all you could do now. The past was behind you, and you can’t change it. You didn’t really want to, either, because you learned quite a bit from your younger self.

For starters, you learned from your previous encounters to never lay your trust in anyone ever again, even if they were to offer you everything you needed and more. You’d made this mistake too many times to make it again. Besides, if you couldn’t trust your own parents, then you’d be setting yourself up for failure if you decided to seek assurance in a stranger... no matter the relationship you may have developed with them.

Although you knew you couldn’t trust anyone, you quickly learned that it was okay to take advantage of help when it was given to you.

That is how you got back on your feet, after all.

You met a good group of people.

Well, good to you, but not to the law, or outsiders.

You didn’t trust them, but you allowed them to take you in. They were just like you; lost and traumatized, but they confided in one another. They didn’t really have a choice, since they only had each other.

You had an amazing run with them. They made you laugh, cry, and they supported you. Just like family, you supposed. You never had a stable family to compare the kind of love they gave you to, but you figured it’d be something similar.

You never had an abundance of anything, but you had just enough, and that was okay. You were never the type of girl who desired to live lavishly anyway.

It was remarkably easy for you to pick up on their habits. You had become keen on cheating, lying, and stealing after only two months of being in their company. It came easily to you, and you used your newly developed skills to wiggle your way in and out of certain situations.

You couldn’t wiggle your way out of this one, though. The cuffs on your wrists wouldn’t allow for that.

You sucked in a breath as you were thrown to the ground, your knees scraping against the material of your jeans as you made impact.

“Be any fucking rougher, could you?” You hissed toward the guard over your shoulder, although you wiggled your fingers nervously behind your back.

He smirked at you, stifling a laugh as he carried his muscular frame toward the large double doors that you were forced through moments prior to being manhandled toward the ground.

“Enjoy your last few moments of life, honey.” He spit, his face falling expressionless afterward as he allowed the doors to slam shut behind himself, leaving you to your thoughts. You couldn’t see his face, but you were certain that he was sporting a shit eating grin. If you could, you’d slap it off of his face.

You couldn’t see a thing in the room that you were in, and you began to grow anxious as the anticipation began to eat away at you, your heartbeat thudding loudly in your chest.

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and held back a loud cry, your eyes watering as the realization finally settled upon you. You couldn’t keep up your tough girl exterior anymore, and you were going to die in this pitch black room at any moment.

What if this was part of the execution? What if the room was this dark purposefully? To add to the shock factor? That would be sure get someone shaken up, knowing they could be taken out by a gunshot, a quick slice of a sword, something hanging from the ceiling—

You paused, sniffing the tears away quickly. You knew your eyes would get puffy if you cried for any more than a few seconds, and you wanted to be remembered for being strong, not a wimp. News would spread quickly after your death, and you knew it would. It always did.

You evaluated your position for a moment. You were crying because you were afraid of death.

Seriously, you were afraid of something that was inevitable?

You choked back a laugh, a small smile cracking on your face before you burst out into a full on fit of giggles.

You wouldn’t be tortured to death, and you knew that for sure. That sort of punishment was only allowed for sexual crimes, acts of severe hatred, domestic abuse, or murder.

You’d be killed quickly, and you were crying because of that? You’d have lost all of your street credit if word got back to your little gang.

You looked like a lunatic. Knees pressed into the ground, hands behind your back, and laughing wildly as strands of your hair flew onto your face from the occasional draft that would flow through the room.

You knew it, too, but you picked up this tip from a certain black haired boy with a scar over his eye. He used to be involved with your group of criminals.

He told you to laugh in any situation where you were put under extreme pressure. You told him that he was crazy for giving you such shitty advice, but once you tried it after being taken into custody for the first crime, you realized that he may have given you some valuable information.

“You’ll either relax a bit and take some of the stress off, or they’ll think you’re crazy and let you go. Win win, right?”

You smiled as your laughter began to die out.

You’d always remember Yoongi, but he was dead to you now.

He was the only person in that group that you connected with. Still, you didn’t trust him, but you could rely on him to help you every now and then if you needed to.

He left without a word, something about wanting to better himself. He’d mentioned that a few times before he actually left, but you didn’t think he’d follow through.

That was the first time that you’d been physically hurt when someone important to you left.

You didn’t speak for a few weeks, laugh for months, or manage to take care of yourself properly for quite some time.

He was so important to you, and he knew it. He didn’t care though, because he still left. Why did you care then?

You didn’t.

You wouldn’t have to care about anything in a few more minutes.

You rolled your neck from side to side, shaking yourself free from any final thoughts as you waited patiently for your execution.

You considered begging for your life, but there was no reason to. You didn’t have anything to lose anymore.

You sat quietly for another minute or so.

Every muscle inside of your body tensed at the sound of leisurely paced footsteps striking against the ground. You felt like you were going to explode, but you managed to keep yourself together.

“Lift your head.”

You immediately obeyed the request, fearful that you’d be tortured immensely if you hadn’t.

You took a deep breath, stopping midway through it as you felt the cool metal of a sword press right under your chin.

The panic began to settle in again, and you began to fidget around like a fish out of water as the sword grazed the skin of your neck.

“Luckily for you, ________, stealing isn’t punishable by execution.” Your eyes ballooned out of your skull, and your mouth dried instantly as you fell into a coughing fit.

“You’d better hold your breath if you want to keep your life.” The person with the sword against your windpipe teased, and you shrieked in terror and disbelief as you confirmed that the voice belonged to who you thought was the rightful owner.

“YOONGI!” You screamed so loudly that your voice bounced off of the walls in the room and echoed back, possibly louder than the scream itself.

You weren’t sure if you screamed because he was the one threatening you with a weapon, or that there was still a very large sword pressed to your jugular even though he just said that stealing isn’t punishable by execution.

How would he know that, anyway?

The room began to lighten up at the same time the sword did against your neck. You were vaguely able to make out Yoongi’s figure in front of you.

You winced slightly as the lights brightened fully, and you came face to face with the sack of ass that left you to suffer years ago.

You checked your surroundings immediately afterward, confused to find that you were in the aisle of what you knew to be a temple.

Was this a fucking joke?

You weren’t sure of what to say. You had questions, obviously, but you also wanted to scream at him for being an asshat and playing such a dumb prank on you.

How are you supposed to start a conversation with someone that you hadn’t talked to in years, though?

Yoongi could read your confusion, a sadistic smile on his face as he walked toward you as if he had achieved something great.

He leaned down in front of you, a few pieces of his blonde hair brushing against your forehead. You thrashed around in the cuffs as he placed a light peck to your forehead, just as he did when the two of you were on good terms.

“Get the fuck off of me.” You threatened, and he hummed at your attitude.

“Still as gorgeous as ever, ________.” You bit down on the insides of your cheeks as he angled himself away from you.

He was as gorgeous as ever himself, the scar still perfectly etched into his skin as if it’d never heal, his face a bit more mature since the last time you saw him, and his hair a bright blonde instead of the shiny black it was a few years back.

You hated him.

“I hate you.” You voiced your thoughts, and Yoongi simply shrugged while taking a few steps backwards, maintaining his eye contact with you.

“You wouldn’t hate me if you knew what I’ve done for you.” He responded simply, his chocolate colored eyes squinted in distaste as he turned around on his heels, walking cooly to a chair that would’ve resembled a King’s throne.

It actually was a throne, but you didn’t understand why he was sitting on it. Min Yoongi was certainly no King. He was a rude and inconsiderate excuse of a friend.

Er, acquaintance, rather. You never really had friends, and you’d like to keep it that way.

“What are you talking about?” You asked, nose turned up in skepticism. Yoongi smiled a bit, licking his lips as he reminisced upon the events that happened a bit earlier today.

He saw you being dragged into the temple by one of his guards, struggling to keep your footsteps aligned due to the inability to control the pace of your walking.

He watched as the doors of the temple swung open and you were thrown to the ground harshly. He was hidden in the shadows as he observed the scene, immediately knowing that feisty voice of yours like the sword that he carried with him daily.

It was one of the things he loved most about you. After all, he was the one that practically made that part of you, and he didn’t regret it one bit.

It pained him to know that you were brought to him under terms of execution, but he assumed this would be the way you’d turn out if you continued to involve yourself with that group of people. That’s why he left you on your own.

Plus, the road to becoming King didn’t require the help of anyone else, and it certainly didn’t require yours. This was a task that he needed to complete on his own, and now that he had, his goal was simply to remain in power.

That’d be easy. People feared tyrants.

Yoongi was no tyrant, but he had tyrannical tendencies, one of them being participating in the execution of prisoners. Now, it was strictly prohibited for a King to execute a commoner, but he didn’t mind. Plus, he did sit back and watch most times as he was supposed to, so what was the harm?

He was the highest form of authority there was anyway, so who’d complain to him about what he could and couldn’t do?

He battled with himself to figure out a proper way to ease you out of this. He couldn’t outright call the execution off, and he knew that. No one would fear a King who spared the life of some measly village girl, and Yoongi craved the fear of his people.

Perhaps he could drag you elsewhere once the guard left. If he was to be questioned about it, he could mention something about needing to speak to you privately before your execution.

No, that’s dumb. Who’d believe that?

Maybe he could wait just until your execution was to take place, and halt it, saying that you were wrongly convicted of your crimes?

He couldn’t do that either. You’d been caught stealing multiple times before, and your criminal record was long enough to prove that you were the right person sentenced to death.

So, Yoongi lost about half of his dignity when he marched right up to the guard that dragged you inside, and asked him to let you be.

Of course, the guard agreed, but Yoongi’s ego had faltered momentarily.

He gained all of that dignity back, though, when he heard you scream his name while kneeling with your hands cuffed behind your back.

What a sight to see.

Yoongi glanced back down at you from his throne, a cocky smile on his face as he shifted his position in the gigantic chair, turning his body slightly sideways as he threw his legs over the side of it.

“Nothing, so I guess you’re right. I haven’t done a thing to help you.” He shrugged, bending over onto the ground to grab his scabbard. He slid the sword into it with practiced ease and dropped it to the ground.

The sound of the weapon scraping against the sides of the holder caused you to cringe, and you jumped as the sound of it hitting the floor bounced off of the walls a few times, just as your scream did earlier.

You gulped at the thought, wondering if he really would have killed you if he had gotten the chance.

“What’s your deal with them anyway?” Yoongi questioned after a few moments of thick silence. Your head snapped up to meet his eyes the moment he began to speak.

“I don’t have to answer anything you ask me, and it’s none of your business.” You responded, and Yoongi quirked an eyebrow.

“I would’ve assumed that you’d catch on a little earlier. You have always been a smart girl, but I suppose all of the thieving and lying caught up with you after a few years.” You said nothing, suddenly feeling overwhelming guilt.

“You do have to answer everything I ask you, actually. I can’t kill you for stealing, but I can kill you for treason.” You scoffed. There he was, playing the royalty card again.

“Treason? Yoongi, give it up. You can’t be executed for treason toward a commoner. Have you lost your mind?” He narrowed his eyes at you and stood up, taking the short walk toward you again.

“You are a commoner, ________. I am not.” You were tired of his dumb breakdowns.

“What are you supposed to be then?” You smirked, and Yoongi returned the smirk with a lick of his lips.

You watched with furrowed eyebrows as he shrugged the thick black jacket he was wearing off of his slim shoulders, and you inhaled a shaky breath as you vaguely made out the emblem of the kingdom on both of his shoulders in the dim lighting of the temple.

“Oh my fucking God.” Your voice cracked as you whispered, your bottom lip trembling in defeat as you realized your humongous fuck up.

You slowly lifted your head, immediately meeting Yoongi’s eye contact. He jutted his bottom lip out to mock you, before quickly twisting his lips into a sly smile.

“You know what to do.” You nodded, lowering your upper body to the ground slowly.

You weren’t low enough to the ground for his liking, so he grabbed his sword and retrieved it from its covering, and pressed the dull side of it against the back of your head to force you lower. Your forehead was touching the ground.

“Better.” He sighed, holding you there for a few seconds before placing the sword back at his side. When you no longer felt the pressure of it on your head, you deemed it okay to lift yourself up.

Your mind was pooling with questions.

“Penny for your thoughts?” He joked, placing the sword in front of him as he stacked both of his hands onto its handle.

“How?” You asked weakly, and he feigned confusion.

“How are you King? You can’t be King with that scar over your eye.” You wanted to find any plausible fault to the idea that he was King.

“Why can’t I?” He asked with a cock of his head. The question was meant to be unanswered, but you stupidly responded anyway.

“The scar symbolizes impuriti—“

“Then I must be pretty powerful, hm?” He laughed, swinging the sword off of the ground to rest on top of his shoulder. He gave you a pity glance as he took a few steps to land himself behind you.

“I’m not going to put you in prison.” He sighed heavily, as if the admittance of him allowing you freedom hurt his conscious dearly.

“Why not?” You asked eagerly, trying desperately not to show how excited you were as your fingers twitched behind your back.

“I’m not going to imprison you, but I need you to make me a promise.” He said, removing the sword from his shoulder as he slid it in the space between your back and the chain of the handcuffs.

You stood deathly still.

“Anything.” You responded instantaneously. You’d regret it later.

Or maybe you wouldn’t.

“Don’t let me see your face around here again.” What?

Around the temple? In the village? Where were you supposed to go?

“I—“ He placed his foot against your lower back, digging his shoe into your skin through the fabric as he tugged the sword forcefully toward himself, successfully breaking the chain of the cuffs and sending it flying backward.

You moaned at the feeling, bringing your wrists in front of you as you twisted each of them around a few times to rid yourself of any stiff muscles.

“Get out.”

•••

“You called me back here?” You sighed, leaning your head against the opened doors as Yoongi hummed with a small nod.

“Yes, I did. Come in, and close the doors behind you.” You raised an eyebrow, although you shut the temple doors and walked down the aisle that would lead you to Yoongi’s throne.

He stood up from his royal seat, walking halfway down the aisle to meet you. You took the time to notice his appearance. He was dressed just like he was when you saw him a few years ago before he completely vanished. Baggy clothes, low rise sneakers, and a few chains dangling from his neck.

You held an unimpressed expression as you stood face to face with him, but seeing him dressed like this gave you a small bit of satisfaction. Of course, you wouldn’t tell him that though.

Unknown to you, Yoongi chose to dress like this to keep you comfortable with him. He needed you to be a bit vulnerable if you are going to hear him out, and he knew this would be one step closer to achieving that vulnerability.

Plus, he was taking you out today. Yes, to explain everything that’s happened during the past couple of years while he wasn’t around, but also for his personal satisfaction.

He missed you just as much as you missed him.

“We’re going to that little spot a few minutes away from here. The one we always used to—“

“I know, Yoongi. I really don’t want to bring up the past anymore.” You stopped him, holding your hand up as you cut him off in the middle of his sentence. You didn’t mean to come off so harshly, but the years of emotional trauma didn’t make that easy for you.

Yoongi nodded once, although he felt a little pang in his chest in you basically admitting that you didn’t want to go to the special place the two of you created a few years back, and you probably didn’t even want to be with him right now.

“Sure, okay.” He sighed, clearing his throat as he walked toward a hidden back entrance that he used at times to leave the temple.

You watched as he took his first few steps, before turning over his shoulder to stare at you with annoyance written all over his features.

“Are you going to follow me, or are you just going to stand there and look stupid?” You rolled your eyes and began to follow after him, Yoongi turning back toward the front once you caught up with him.

He continued to walk, and you desperately tried to fight the smile that was tugging at your lips as bits and pieces of the Yoongi you knew were starting to shine through.

•••

The walk to the secluded spot by that small river that you remember so fondly was uncomfortable and stuffy.

Neither of you said a word, simply letting the leaves crunching under the both of your shoes fill the silence.

The sun was beginning to set, and the rays cast a beautiful shadow over the river. It looked just as it did the last time you were here.

That day… that day was the happiest you’d been in years.

That was also the day Yoongi got his scar.

“Where the fuck did you go?” Yoongi asked, laughing loudly as he stumbled over a few branches while searching for you behind the trees and shrubs near the river.

“I’m never playing hide and seek with you again. You’re an asshole for this.” You chuckled, immediately clasping your hand over your mouth as you hoped desperately that he hadn’t heard.

But, it was Yoongi. Of course he’d heard.

“Your cute little laugh is going to get you in trouble.” You ducked lower behind the shrub in front of you, peering out over the edge to see if you could see his shadow approaching.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion when you couldn’t see him anymore, squinting and leaning forward a bit to see if your eyes were playing tricks on you.

Yoongi snuck up behind you, cursing under his breath when you snapped your head in his direction.

You hadn’t fully processed that it was Yoongi when he finally came into view and attempted to scare you, so you pushed him backward roughly. This sent him tumbling over a rock, and his face smashed against the forest floor.

“Oh my God!” You screamed, running over to him, your black combat boots seeming to be too heavy at that moment.

He was breathing heavily and holding one side of his face, and when you rolled him onto his back, the sight of the blood creeping between his fingers was enough to make you pull him up to his feet, and you dragged him all the way back to the village within a handful of minutes.

You had ripped off a piece of your oversized shirt and wrapped it over his eyes sometime during this process.

The two of you were spotted by a group of people as you neared the village again, and they helped you pull Yoongi to the home of a medic who would sew his skin together.

He had the stitches for two months, and even after they removed, he still had the scar.

You felt terrible, but you never got the chance to apologize.

He left the day after his stitches were removed.

“________.”

You gnawed on your bottom lip.

“________!” Yoongi shouted, and you came to with a small jolt.

“I’m sorry.” The words tumbled from your lips effortlessly, and it felt so, so good after all these years.

You walked quickly to meet Yoongi as he sat near the edge of the river, the wind blowing lightly which made his hair a disheveled mess.

“I’m so sorry, Yoongi.” You repeated, clearly this time as you sat down next to him, keeping a few feet between the two of you because you weren’t sure where your emotions were at the moment, and you certainly weren’t sure what he was feeling.

There was an awkward silence.

“What?” He laughed, the confusion evident on his face.

“What are you talking about?” You scratched nervously at your arm as he scooted a bit closer to you.

A part of you wanted to condemn him, but a larger part of you wanted him to stay right next to you.

“I’m really sorry about the scar. You left before I could apologize, and it’s been making me feel so guilty for the past couple of years, but—“ Yoongi shook his head, taking your hand into his as he intertwined your fingers with his, just like he used to back then.

You let your hand flop loosely in his.

“Isn’t it a little obvious that I don’t mind it? If anything, I’m happy that you fucked my face up.” He joked, his gummy smile slowly fading as he looked from the river to your paling face.

“Why’d you leave?” You asked, the light mood falling. Yoongi took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. He knew he couldn’t avoid this question, but he hoped that you’d at least wait a bit before bringing up this topic.

“I told you, I need to better myself.” You let go of his hand.

“Bullshit!” You exclaimed, Yoongi simply turning his head to look at you as your face began to heat in anger.

“It had something to do with me, and I know it does. Why lie now? Why bring me to this special spot to lie, Yoongi?” He took a small gulp, looking away from you and out toward the landscape. He couldn’t utter these next few words while staring at your face.

“I wouldn’t have become King if I was in love with a criminal.” He stated nonchalantly. You froze.

“What the hell are you talking about?” You stood up, and Yoongi stood up as well, just in case you were planning to run away and get yourself into trouble as you usually did when you couldn’t handle your emotions.

“I had to let you go if I wanted to change, ________. You’re not good for me, and I’m not good for you.” His voice began to thin out the longer he spoke, fighting back a sob.

“Are you trying to say that I’m a bad influence?” You couldn’t believe what you were hearing.

“Are you seriously trying to say that I am not good for you , when you’re the person that I got into the most trouble with in that entire fucking group?” You shook your head as you spoke, refusing to believe that he was saying you weren’t good for him.

“Why don’t you tell me the real reason that you left, hm? I can handle the truth, and I deserve to know after waiting for so long. Believe me, you won’t have to worry about seeing me again after this.” Yoongi was seething, his hands clenched into fists by his sides as he tried to steady his breathing.

He wasn’t going to get angry.

He was going to explain himself to you calmly.

“Did you not just hear me fucking say that I’m in love with you?” His voice dropped to a whisper, as he began to take slow strides toward you.

You’d seemed to have forgotten that in the midst of your yelling at him.

“I taught you a handful of things back then, but I’m fairly sure that knowing when to shut up was one of them.” You looked over your shoulder as you took a step backward whenever he took one forward, but if you continued like this then you’d end up with your back against a tree.

This was not some cliche love story, and you weren’t the main character.

You stepped to the side to avoid bumping into the tree.

Yoongi took a side step as well, standing still for a few seconds before he grabbed you by the collar of your shirt and pressed you up against the tree by his arm.

“You were going to hinder me from my goal, ________. There’s no way in hell I’d be able to focus while having you by my side.” His grip on you loosened as he continued to speak.

“I thought if I was away from you that I’d forget about everything, but that made it worse. There wasn’t a single day that came where you wouldn’t pass my mind.” You pressed your head backwards against the tree in exasperation.

“Why couldn’t you take me with you?” You asked, sadness evident in your voice. Yoongi’s heart clenched as he read you like his favorite book.

“I wanted you to be there for the result, not the work that it took to get there. I’d come back for you when I was better off, but I didn’t have to. You came to me.” Yoongi leaned in closer toward you.

“Well, you didn’t come to me, per say. I brought you to me.” You scoffed.

“You did what?” Dealing with him was an emotional roller coaster, but you still wanted the first seat on the ride.

“We can save the details for later. I accept your apology, and I really want to fucking kiss you.” You opened your mouth to respond, but Yoongi leaned in for this kiss anyway.

He molded his soft lips against yours with ease. You awkwardly left your eyes open, but upon seeing him with his closed as the passion radiated in the way he kissed you, you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to slip into his embrace.

He wrapped his arms around your waist, the kiss quickly shifting from pure and energetic love to uncontrollable and messy lust for one another.

Yoongi broke the kiss first, and you chased his lips as he pulled away. You whimpered in defeat as he used his grip on your waist to turn you around, your hands pressed against the bark of the tree.

He roughly tugged your jeans down your legs, not having the patience to unbutton them fully. You flinched as you heard a twig snap somewhere in the distance, and you looked over your shoulder at Yoongi with fear etched onto your features.

“We’re going to get fucking caught.” You laughed, although you were deathly afraid of being found with the King’s dick buried snuggly inside of your pulsing cunt.

“I’m a King, baby. I’m the boss. I don’t give a fuck about someone stumbling back here.” He spoke, while working quickly at the zipper of his jeans.

“Besides, I’ll be quick.” He moaned out in satisfaction as he finally freed his cock from its confines. He tugged your panties to the side with one of his fingers, slapping his length against your throbbing clit a handful of times before lining himself up with your inviting warmth.

“Kind of difficult—oh shit,” He paused in the middle of his sentence as he slid his cock into you, a shiver running down your spine at the feeling of being so full after so, so long.

“Kind of difficult to wait for something that you’ve been wanting for a—for a while, especially when it’s right in front of you.” He huffed into your ear, gathering your hair up in one of his hands to force you to arch you back more.

“Fuck. You okay, baby girl? I know this is a tight fit, cause you’re squeezing the shit out of my dick.” Yoongi waited patiently for your okay, although that didn’t stop him from rocking his hips against you slowly to offer himself some sort of relief.

“‘m okay. Just fuck me, please.” You begged, and Yoongi hastily obliged. He kept his hand tangled between your locks, as he brought his free hand down to your hip.

He set a gut-destroying pace instantly, the sound of his balls slapping against your ass somehow louder than they’d be if the two of you were in a secluded room.

“You can consider this your punishment for giving me so much shit talk yesterday. Look at you now, huh? Can’t get a single fucking word out, can you?” You whined as he dug his fingernails into your hip, his thrusts so vigorous and powerful that you would scrape the skin of your thighs against the tree every now and then.

Your legs twitched as you neared your high, a noise sounding like somewhat of a feminine growl climbing its way out from the back of your throat as you held your breasts in your hands, flicking your nipples between your fingers to coax yourself closer to the edge.

“Good girl. Lose yourself on my cock.” Yoongi was near his climax as well, the way your pussy was sucking him in combined with his cock grazing the material of your panties every few thrusts enough to send him straight toward that euphoric feeling.

There was something so primal about him taking you up against a tree, where seemingly anyone could find the two of you. No strings attached (yet), just pure, sexual need.

“Cum with me. I want that.” Yoongi snarled into your ear, and you nodded eagerly as he slid his hand across your stomach and down toward your clit.

He only managed to rub a few quick circles against the sensitive nub before you began to thrash wildly underneath him.

“Stay still.” He warned you, and you tried desperately to obey him as hot bliss took over momentarily, and your muscles spasmed beneath Yoongi as he used your pussy to chase his high as well, pulling out to cum on your back.

He slid your pants back up, before turning you around to try and button them. You were shaking too much, though, and it was starting to frustrate him.

“________, stay st—SHIT!”

Yoongi yelled as he began to tumble backward, making sure to pull you with him this time.

Your intense shaking caused Yoongi to trip over himself and fall backward, causing the both of you to end up plummeting into the cold river water.

“Damnit!” You cursed, and Yoongi just laughed as he rubbed his eyes free of the water that managed to seep into them.

“You’re quite the klutz.” He commented, running his hand through his hair as he slyly noticed the way your shirt began to grow more and more sheer as it soaked in the water.

“You’re quite the asshole.” You playfully rolled your eyes, squealing when Yoongi snagged your shirt into his hands and pulled you into his hold once more.

“Accidents just seem to happen at this river, don’t they?” You asked, and Yoongi shrugged, wrapping his arms around your waist as he tucked your head underneath his chin.

“Yeah, but they’re also the best memories.” You tilted your head up to look at Yoongi’s face, and his eyes were closed.

Why do you always miss the memo?

Just as you were about to close your eyes, Yoongi splashed your face with a bit of water from the river.

You gasped and pulled away from him, mustering up the most threatening glare you could give.

“Why would you do that when I’m already wet?” He smirked.

“Hell yeah you are.”

“YOONGI!”

tag list! (let me know if you wanna be on it!)

@bitchyaus @taesluttt @1-in-abillion @designjet @peachy-bhun @patpus @koracynthia120 @safi4x @lcnycto @someonewhowannadielol @dreamingsmile @rinastylesworld @fan-ati--c @sincemalik @bts-bay-bee @cestlaviecia @jeonjungkookiiee @bunny-kix03

YOUR DOMESTIC FELIX HEADCANONS. HAND EM OVER

DOMESTIC????? ;)

Alright!! SO I'll try to keep these hcs related to a unisex S/O (so you can insert any character in, like male/female [his gf, or any male/female surv]). This excludes killer dynamics bcos killer x surv just. *vomits*

But that's just my opinion ;))) when it comes to domestic Felix...

I'll take it in a couple of spins, all of which will focus on an 'after/escape The Entity' type of au. If you're also interested in a version that includes a general "pre-Entity" tidbit, I'd be more than happy to provide!! Just ask!!

In Felix's case, it's going to be something like his disappearance at Dyer Island being for a potential 1-3 years (depending on the life of this game going forward), so it's safe to assume that in all of these headcanons, his girlfriend is going to have moved on with her life, especially in regards to care for his now-alive child. You can still insert her into the headcanons if you wish, but realistically (imo), they would be separated.

Felix is actually more than understanding when it comes to his girlfriend moving on - the disappearance was something of a red flag, but authorities attributed it to a workplace accident/stress, or potentially even commitment issues - the restoration project along with the news of being a father isn’t a foreign recipe for a partner just up and disappearing. Felix's girlfriend wasn't exactly aware of his Imperiatti past - which can be summed up by the organization's secrecy, or Felix's repression of his former trauma - she never connected the dots when it came to his familiar clientele. She moved on, had their child, and even began seeing another man. Felix couldn't blame her, especially with how difficult it is to be a single parent. He feels a strong sense of empathy when it comes to that topic, especially when it was just him and his mom after his father’s disappearance.

It's not exactly clear - the whereabouts of Felix's mom, in present time - but I like to assume that he would move back into his former home, the Richter manor, and try to piece his old life back together again. He is able to regain partial custody of his child, and he is introduced to... his daughter. Before The Entity, Felix initially hoped for a son, so he could be the exact father figure he desperately needed when growing up (after all, he spent plenty of time in the realm thinking about how he would be the perfect model for his “son”), but he wouldn’t trade her for the world. It comes almost as a shock when his daughter prefers to play with more “masculine” toys and gets into a lot of the hobbies he enjoyed as a kid - especially reading/storytelling. She’s not exactly old enough to read books on her own, but Felix won’t hear the end of it unless she gets her nightly bedtime story. He fabricates fables and tales about people he met “from work,” and their various trips to foreign and unfamiliar realms. He can’t help but see the same face of wonder and skepticism that he used to have, just like when his father told him similar stories in his youth.

Felix also has this taut outlook and anxiety when it comes to raising his kid. Anybody is expected to be stressed over their first/only child, but Felix’s former worries and lack of social development drives him to be a parent that wants to teach his kid how to be independent as soon as possible; so she could have all the skills she needs when she’s older. He was privileged enough to live in a household where he never needed to cook, clean, or handle anything financial when he was growing up - everything was done by either the manor’s maids or his parents. Knowing the fear and self-doubt he had back in his early 20s, he is super serious about being there for his daughter. His other half may think he’s being a bit dramatic and a “helicopter parent” with how stressed he is, but he just wants to make sure she can hold her own in case an unfortunate circumstance ever did occur - it was an all-too-familiar threat for Felix when he was growing up; especially when he still desires to set an example for his late father.

The times when the German architect does “calm down,” he does his best to be there for his daughter. He’s got a nasty habit of spoiling her and his loved ones with gifts, despite being conscious about his wealth. Splurging on such activities/gifts gives Felix a sense of relief, where he can see his little girl raised with an innocent, positive childhood. One would assume he might be even jealous over her adolescence, but he’s just thankful he could be there physically and emotionally for his kid, and stop the painful cycle from ever reaching her. As much as Felix wishes he had his dad in his life to guide him, he takes it as a learning experience that made him stronger, and more deliberate and genuine with his parental responsibilities.

His parental approach is more about empathy and reasoning, and prefers to treat his little girl as a smaller adult rather than just a kid - he tries to soothe any of her anxieties about friends and school, but without sheltering her from the reality of the world once she’s old enough. He won’t admit it, but having her feel brave enough to confide in him with her personal issues/thoughts is his favorite part about being a father. He might have lost his father at a young age, but at least he can act as a mentor to his own child. It reminds him he’s doing the “right thing,” and this bond was what he dreamed of having in his youth. He can’t help but feel sentimental!

The Entity left Felix with more questions than answers, and as much as he wants to find out the mystery behind his dad, he decided that it was time to move on. The timeless years spent in The Fog gave him severe trauma, and he’s lucky he was able to resume a relatively normal life - a second chance to be there for his daughter and his S/O. He went into the realm to voluntarily search for his father, and he wasn’t able to uncover much during his time spent there. His partner may support him in his grief, but he’s come to understand that his feelings of loss may simply never go away - he’s just going to have to live with them. For him, his loss still feels like a fresh wound, but it’s not going to get any better than it is, currently. Felix wouldn’t consider himself hopeless, but he’s left with a sense of acceptance. He needs to be there for his new family, and he would rather be focusing on the domestic chapter in this new part of his life than reminiscing on the past. He did it long enough with The Pariahs before they disbanded, and he’d rather learn to live more in the present than caught up in the past.

If he doesn’t have custody over his kid, Felix is spending a majority of his time at work, where Lauren gladly takes him back into their architectural firm. He’s left with a lot of trauma from the trials, though, so it’s not unusual if he can’t make a business meeting or show up physically to work. He still carries his occupational responsibilities, but there’s just certain aspects of his old life that he could never get acclimated to doing again. He’s afraid of turbulence (the shaking and rumbling of the plane is too similar to the endgame collapse) and if he NEEDS to be at a business meeting/networking event, he has to leave early since the drive, of course, takes a lot longer than a flight.

When he is able to find some time alone with his other half and not feel any work pressure, they like to treat themselves to a vacation getaway! Even if it’s for a weekend, he takes holidays depending on if they need time to release some energy by doing something strenuous (skiing in the Alps) or maybe unwinding with something romantic or a new experience (wine/artisan goods). Felix isn’t the best with his words, and so he likes to show PDA to his partner when they have time together. Rather than asking, he simply does - a peck on the forehead when he gets ready in the morning, adjusting the clothing/jewelry on his spouse, or even just mindlessly rubbing/massaging his hands on their back. He knows how it feels to be touch-starved, and likes to make it a conscious effort to show his love through constant reassurances when his words fail.

so i work as a server and they just shut down restaurants in my state... got any bechloe recommendations for fics to read during my next four weeks?

I’m so sorry to hear that! I hope you are doing well, my friend and I hope you stay safe and healthy in the coming weeks. 

As for fics, I do have a few favourites that I always go back to as well as some favourite multichaps that should easily eat up some time. :) This is not a comprehensive list, but I hope it helps!!

Numbered Days

by @chlobeales (15,808 words, complete, zombie apocalypse)

Summary: "The street was empty except for a few cars with dead people in it, she frowned at the disgusting smell. She would never get used to it. The end of the world, if you could call it that, started exactly 398 days ago. Beca knew because counting days was the only way to keep her sane. After seeing the world completely turn to shit, the small brunette soon realized that getting bitten wasn’t the only way to lose her mind, so she started counting the days.“

OR 

Beca and Chloe fight zombies together and they look good doing it.

Lavender

by BrevityIsTheSoulOfLingerie (79,847 words, 20 chapters, complete, Rated E)

Summary: On Halloween night in 1932, Chloe Beale meets a disguised stranger with whom she has an immediate, magnetic connection. She has a sneaking suspicion, based on the petite frame, delicate hands, and soft lips that it’s a young woman. According to the rules of 1930s New York high society, it should definitely confuse and potentially frighten Chloe. But Chloe has never played by the rules. She soon finds out several of those around her don’t either. In fact, they’re the ones who will make it possible for Chloe and her mystery crush to ultimately be together.

Stained Glass

by @kailoraurelius (143,245 words, 44 chapters, complete, rated M)

Summary: Chloe’s always been able to get Beca to do things she wants. So when Chloe wants Beca to be her fake girlfriend at her best friend’s wedding, Beca does it. She wasn’t expecting it to be so easy. But while she’s busy figuring out why that is, the bride goes missing. Looks like Beca and Chloe aren’t the only ones lying.

Baby Steps

by @redlance​ (6,585 words, complete)

Summary: “I’m late.”

“For what?”

“No, oh my god, Beca. I’m late.”

pull me close (show me baby where the light is)

by @dumbacapellapotatoes​ (3,343 words, rated M, complete)

Summary: They have a thing for showers, it seems. Four pivotal moments in Beca & Chloe’s relationship that just so happen to take place in the shower.

Knock Me Out Some Other Way

by thrace (5,716 words, complete)

Summary: Beca Mitchell, good at being emotionally competent. Well, she’s working on it.

Forgive Me These November Days

by @obstinate-questionings (78,705 words, 12 chapters, complete, pp1/pp2 re-telling)

Summary: Why Chloe Beale didn’t graduate—and why she finally did—as told through yearly celebrations of Thanksgiving.

the plastic dwarf warlord in the cereal box

by @fiddleabout (9,430 words, complete)

Summary: promise that forever we will never get better at growing up and learning to lie: beca, in the context of chloe and aubrey; aubrey, in the context chloe and beca.

the heart has no bones, you say

by goon (5,206 words, complete)

Summary: Beca’s on her way to becoming the greatest Cardiothoracic surgeon of her generation. She thinks she can handle a Peds surgeon, thank you very much.

The Moment Each Bella Found Out About Beca & Chloe

by @asweetmelodytrickling​ (12,275 words, 9 chapters, complete, Rated M)

Summary: The Bellas each find out that Beca and Chloe are a thing, not that Bechloe realise..

mix the bourgeoisie and the rebel (we got the gift of melody)

by mooosicaldreamz (64,302 words, 6 chapters, complete, fame AU)

Summary: Beca is an up and coming producer, Chloe Beale is pop’s newest princess. This is the story of how they fall in love.

the one where beca doesn’t like dogs

by @sensiblethingtodo (8,492 words, 4 chapters, complete)

Summary: What looked like an emaciated wolf was currently lying on her floor glaring at her. Eyes wide, Beca stood there frozen afraid it would attack her.

OR

Beca doesn’t like dogs but she’s dating a veterinarian so she’s pretty much screwed.

The Party’s Crashing Us

by @perpetuallyfive (9,299 words, complete, high school AU)

Summary: Beca has never been big into high school activities, but sometimes desperate people do desperate things. Like show up for marching band and get stalked by the creepy redheaded cheerleader who won’t leave you alone.

don’t fall, don’t feel (but i sink farther)

by @backtobasicbellas​ (16,676 words, complete)

Summary: She knows Beca is her best friend and that they’ve always been Beca and Chloe, but sometimes Chloe wonders what the definition of ‘Beca and Chloe’ even is, really. 

Sometimes, in moments like this, Chloe thinks that Beca loves her too.

Finding Harmony

by @aliciameade (381,135 words, 90 chapters, complete, Rated M/E)

Summary: A confessed regret. A rejection. A conversation that was meant to be private - overheard by the one person Chloe never wanted to hear it. But perhaps - perhaps - it was for the best. Where will the future lead Beca and Chloe? Only time will tell. 

They Had Time

by @chloes-yellow-cup (148,317 words, 13 chapters, complete, rated M)

Summary: Pitch Perfect 1 Rewrite.

Life With Amy

by novel_concept26 (7,988 words, complete, Rated M)

Summary: Beca is still trying to get used to this whole being physical with a girl thing. Chloe is being beautifully patient. And Amy? Well…Amy is really not helping.

The Sexual Implications of Teleportation

by @maladyofthequotidian (3,091 words, complete, Rated M/E)

Summary: The first time is a complete freak accident.

Dirty Paws (one-shots)

by @unholyhelbig (39082 words, 29 chapters, compilation, werewolves)

Summary: This whole entire thing started off with a prompt on Tumblr. It’s slowly grown into a little series of a grumpy Beca taking care of her little werewolf Chloe.

Fade Into You

by @aliciameade​ (29441 words, 5 chapters, complete)

Summary: Tip for newlyweds: send a wedding invite to every billionaire whose address you can find because it’s a 50/50 chance their assistants just send you a perfunctory gift without ever wondering who the hell you are. 

Or: Beca had a really good terrible idea when she got tired of being broke in New York.

Get A Say

by @asweetmelodytrickling​ (21,924 words, 10 chapters, complete)

Summary: Chloe tells her teenage daughter that she’s started seeing the girl’s Godmother…romantically.

Kurtbastian one-shot - “Eyes on the Road” (Rated M)

Summary: Driving down the highway while on vacation, Kurt notices how tense his husband looks and decides to try something he saw in a movie once to loosen him up. It does the job a little too well ... (1970 words)

Notes: This is a re-write I decided to do for Halloween because I think it's really funny. XD Inspired by the movie 'Parenthood'.

Part 58 of Daddies.

Read on AO3.

“That was the insurance agent,” Sebastian says, putting his jacket around Kurt’s shoulders and rubbing his husband’s arms to keep the chill of the night air away. “They're sending a tow. We're gonna call an Uber to take us to the hotel, but they’ll have a rental for us in the morning.”

“That’s … that’s great,” Kurt grumbles. "Just peachy." 

Sebastian snickers. Kurt's cheeks flame red and he hangs his head. He can’t look Sebastian in the eyes, but he also doesn’t want to see Sebastian’s baby - his Porsche Cayman - wrapped around the trunk of an ancient English Oak.

Kurt isn't angry at his husband. This isn't Sebastian's fault. And for as bad as this night has been, Kurt is more embarrassed than upset.

“Are you alright? Nothing hurts? Nothing broken?” Sebastian asks for the fifth time, and for the fifth time, Kurt answers, “Yeah … sure … great.”

There’s nothing else Kurt can think of to say. Physically, he’s fine. Emotionally, he could live a hundred years and never, ever live this down.

Plus, Sebastian is being such a good sport about this.

That makes this whole situation suck worse.

They’re supposed to be on vacation. They got Thomas excused from school and took one week away to visit Kurt’s dad over Halloween. That way, Burt wouldn't have to travel hours to see his grandson dress in costume and go begging for candy. 

But Kurt and Sebastian had ulterior motives. They planned this trip to Ohio to escape everything: PTA meetings, stress, Sebastian’s ultra-needy clients, and Kurt’s new winter clothing line, coming together slowly, but on time for the Vogue Winter Extravaganza.

They'd been traveling to the city more than normal, and they both agreed that they'd forgotten how crowded and hectic it could be, especially at the start of the holidays. It's just Halloween, but that's the top step of a slide that shoots straight into Thanksgiving, loop-de-loops for a few weeks, then slingshots into Christmas.

Isabelle is pretty good about leaving Kurt be when he needs time away and diverting business calls to his receptionist. But Sebastian’s phone wouldn’t stop ringing, which tends to happen when every client you have thinks they're your only client. He shut the damn thing off, but that didn’t solve the problem. It only delayed it for a while. Once he turned it back on, he found he had a million messages, both text and voice, and in less than a minute, it began to ring again.

Sebastian had to change his ring tone. As much as he loves the song Running Home to You, he got sick of hearing it so much.

He didn't want this vacation to be the catalyst that made him hate it.

Driving down the interstate from the Hummel house to their hotel, Sebastian looked tense, gripping the wheel so tightly, Kurt thought he might tear it off the steering column. Kurt's dad and stepmom had noticed Sebastian on edge, too. They offered to take Thomas for the night, giving Kurt and Sebastian some alone time at their hotel.

But Kurt couldn't wait till they got there.

He had to do something. He’d never seen Sebastian so wound up.

He was afraid that if he didn’t find a way to calm Sebastian down, he’d snap, veer off the highway in a rage, and drive straight into a tree.

Not really, but Kurt had an appreciation for the dramatic.

At most, Sebastian would get back to their room and spend the whole night watching Battlestar Galactica reruns on TV. 

He'd been prescribed medication for a chronic case of stress-related acid reflux and had suffered three major bouts of insomnia since the beginning of the fiscal year. Kurt didn’t want that to happen again, not here, where they had come back to the familiar to get away from it all.

Kurt had an idea, but he didn’t know quite how to execute it. It wasn’t exactly his idea. It came from an old movie his dad had been watching during A&E’s Salute to Steve Martin. Kurt had rolled his eyes when he saw it, thought it immature and uncouth. But looking at Sebastian, a vein throbbing in his neck from the anxiety of phone call avoidance, Kurt thought he would give it a try.

What could it hurt?

Kurt had given Sebastian countless hand jobs while driving before. A blow job couldn’t be much more difficult.

Sebastian was focused on the road, his brain caught in a web of issues that had nothing to do with Lima, Halloween, visiting his in-laws, or even Kurt. He didn’t notice Kurt undo the buckle of his belt, unbutton the fly of his jeans, then sneak underneath his arm to get at his flaccid member. It took Kurt grabbing his husband’s cock and sticking it in his mouth before Sebastian reacted, jumping at the unexpected sensation of hot and wet, then letting out a long gasp as that heat crept under his skin.

“God, Kurt,” Sebastian moaned. “W-what are you doing? You can’t … we shouldn’t … be doing that now.”

"Wow," Kurt mumbled. "That's quite a change of tune for the man who used to accept a b.j. pretty much anywhere."

"True, but I'm older. Wiser. Undecided as to whether or not I want my obituary to mention that this is how I died."

“You don’t think you’re a good enough driver to handle a little distraction?” Kurt looked up from Sebastian’s lap, a half-smile on his moistened lips.

“I didn’t say that.” That, to Kurt, was as good as the go-ahead, and he went back to circling the head of Sebastian’s cock with his tongue. “B-but …” Sebastian interrupted in a shuddering voice, “w-what if a cop notices your head in my lap and we get pulled over?”

Kurt climbed up Sebastian’s chest - right hand stroking slowly, the fingers of his left threading into his husband’s hair. “I’ll just tell that nosy officer that I was sitting here beside my sexy husband, getting hard and bothered, and I couldn’t help myself. I just had to have my mouth on him. Then I’d tell him to move along.”

Sebastian smirked. “You’d say that, hmm?”

“You bet your gorgeous ass I would.” And Kurt sank slowly back into his husband’s lap to get his mouth around him again.

“But I wanna be able to properly enjoy it,” Sebastian whined as his husband’s talented tongue began long laps up and down his shaft.

“If you don’t enjoy it,” Kurt purred, “I promise a repeat performance back at the hotel.”

“Mmm, I'm gonna hold you to that.”

“Please do.” Kurt paused a moment to kiss Sebastian gently down the length of his erection – soft little pecks he knew drove his husband wild. “So relax, keep your eyes on the road, and try not to kill us, okay?”

“O-okay,” Sebastian agreed, adjusting his seat as far back as it would go and toeing the pedals to let Kurt work his magic.

Kurt hadn’t meant to make this the best b.j. of Sebastian’s life. He didn't even think that was possible at this point in Sebastian's sexual life. He had hoped to keep his husband at a low boil, relax him but leave him a horny mess so that when they got back to their room, the real fun could begin. But Sebastian sounded like he was enjoying it so much, that he was so desperate to cum, it spurred Kurt on. He found himself doing everything he could to make his husband moan louder, buck up into his mouth, swear like a sailor.

It didn’t take long to get Sebastian to the point where he was shallowly, but rhythmically, snapping his hips. And even though Kurt had intended on torturing him all the way back to their hotel, he was kind of relieved. He had heard Sebastian’s car engine rev twice now. Kurt couldn’t get a good look at the speedometer, but he had a feeling his husband might be exceeding the speed limit.

“Oh, God, Kurt. I’m … I’m cumming, Kurt. I’m …” It was at the moment of his fantastic climax that Sebastian shut his eyes for a split second, opening them when a horn honked too loud and much too close for comfort. Sebastian turned the wheel abruptly, swerving out of the path of oncoming traffic and plowing into a tree. How ever he hit the aged oak, the airbags malfunctioned, which turned out to be a blessing since the force behind one of those deploying might have snapped Kurt’s neck. As it was, Sebastian had managed to slow down enough that, even though the damage to the vehicle looked tremendous, the two shaken men were able to unbuckle their seat belts and exit the car.

Kurt’s mother always said that a separate God looked after fools and children.

Kurt peeks up at the smoking remains of Sebastian’s demolished engine.

Kurt is a thirty-five-year-old man. That definitely makes him a fool.

Flashing lights approach from the slow lane and pull up beside Sebastian’s wrecked Porsche. Kurt knew a highway patrol officer would probably be along any time, but he still didn’t want to have to face up to what happened. Not to a man with a badge and a gun.

The officer doesn’t get out of his patrol car right away, which unnerves Kurt. But he has to remember that the man has things he has to do first: run Sebastian’s plates, check the secret police database to make sure it’s not stolen, that two men fitting their descriptions aren’t wanted by the law. When the officer does leave his car, he has in his possession the brightest flashlight Kurt has ever seen. He shines it almost in their eyes, its beam bouncing from Sebastian, who raises a hand and waves; to Kurt, who nods solemnly and looks down at his shoes; to the once immaculate black car, folded almost in half. Luckily, no one had pulled over with them, either to help them or harass them, so the only two people who know what happened are Kurt and Sebastian.

And Kurt intends on taking this to his grave.

“Good evening,” the officer says. “You gentlemen look like you got yourselves into a bit of trouble.”

“Yes, sir,” Sebastian says. “I’m afraid we did.”

“Are either of you hurt? Do you need medical attention?”

Kurt curls in on himself further, but Sebastian shakes his head, cool and calm, as if his husband isn’t trying to disappear into his own skin like the house at the end of the movie Poltergeist that crumbled inside out before blinking out of existence.

“No,” Sebastian answers. “Luckily, we both came out okay. Not even a scratch.”

“That’s good to hear.” The officer approaches them, wearing a genuine-enough smile. “Do you need a tow truck?”

“No.” Sebastian continues to carry the conversation while Kurt, maintaining a low profile, is quietly impressed by how collected his husband sounds. Maybe that blow job helped a little. Kurt has that to be proud of. It probably wasn’t worth a $60,000 car, though. “I contacted my insurance company. They’re sending a tow.”

“Great. In that case, can either one of you tell me what happened?”

Sebastian glances sideways at his mortified husband, a smile on his lips hiding multiple embarrassing remarks at Kurt’s expense.

“Uh, do you want to tell him what happened, Kurt?” Sebastian asks. “You did say that you’d handle it.”

“No,” Kurt replies quietly, holding himself tighter, thinking that now is not the appropriate time for his husband to be teasing him. Though, if Kurt had stuck to what was appropriate and waited till they got to their hotel room before deep-throating his husband, they might not be in this mess. “No, I do not.”

Your tumblr account is so fucking great!!! Glad that i found it. Can i request an imagine? Levi's s/o got pregnant in teen modern au and levi is having second thoughts and all but he eventually came back to them. Give me your angst and fluffffffff ❤❤ thank u

A/N: thank youuuu! Comments like these make my day ❤️ you guys are amazing and again thanks for being patient with my slow ass

𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒚 ❤️

It was the longest three minutes of her life, Y/N held the stick in her hands her eyes unable to drift away from the tiny display in front of her. In a matter of seconds her life was either going to change forever or things were going to stay the same. Every fibre of her being was hurtling towards panic as the seconds dragged on, the breath she had been holding released in a quick whoosh of air as the word ‘positive’ popped up on the screen.

“Fuck” she whispered feeling a sense of despair crawling into her mind. They were only kids; Y/N sixteen and Levi a year older, just freshly graduated out of high school and working minimum wage jobs that were no means of raising a baby on. Tears drip down her face at the uncertainty of the unknown, she knew her parents were going to be furious, they wren’t the biggest fans of Levi. She knew how hard working he was, constantly scraping by the skin of his teeth to help his mom and balancing their relationship on top of everything.

She bit her lip contemplating her options, as scared as she was at probably one of the biggest moments of her life Y/N knew she wanted to go through with the pregnancy but would wait to hear what he had to say before making a final decision. She loved Levi more than anything in the world and knew that he loved her just as much. Picking up her phone she dials his number without a second thought knowing that the longer she sat on her decision the more prone to backing out of telling him she would be.

“Hey Y/N, what’s up?” The sound of his voice alone was enough to help ease the ever-growing anxiety in her stomach.

“Are you busy? I need to talk to you about something.” Levi immediately knew something was off, not knowing what to think sent a heavy feeling of unease settled into his being.

“What’s wrong? Did something happen?”

“Kind of, but I’d rather do this in person. Can we meet up?” Tugging at her bottom lip with her teeth she tries to steady her shaky hands to no avail. Levi’s nervousness was fuelling her own, the momentary relief she’d felt quickly squashed by a storm of doubt and second thoughts.

“Yeah I’m on my way home now, you can meet me there.” Hanging up the call she began pacing back and forth. The reality of the situation was almost suffocating, their lives were going to change after today. Y/N couldn’t handle the possibility of him leaving her over something like this. Gathering her things along with the pregnancy test she shoved them into her bag and headed towards Levi’s.

Their phone call had his nerves on edge the entire walk home, whatever she had to tell him couldn’t have been good. Maybe she was thinking about breaking up, Levi knew he could be hard to be around sometimes but Y/N had always been there to reassure him that she loved him. The alert from his phone letting him know she was there almost made him want to vomit, the suspension was becoming too much. Her appearance wasn’t helping calm his racing mind. She was clearly nervous about something, her skin was pale and a thin layer of sweat made her face shiny despite the weather being on the cooler side. Leading her to his bedroom he watched as she sat uncomfortably on the edge of his bed. Something was definitely wrong, she was never this high strung around him.

“Y/N tell me what’s going on, you’re killing me” Levi gulps his mouth feeling suddenly dry as he sits next to her. She meets his gaze hesitantly, something swimming beneath her forced collected exterior. Taking a deep breath she reaches into her bag and shoves something into his hands before turning her body away from his.

“Fuck” the tense situation had Y/N’s emotions all over the place and she couldn’t hold back the laughter at how similar their reactions had been.

“I know…this isn’t something we talked about before and it’s okay if you don’t want -“

“I do” Cutting her off Levi’s words were unwavering. His eyes still fixed to the result on the screen. There were many emotions swirling inside his brain but more than anything he wanted her and now their baby. His whole life had been a series of unfortunate events and Y/N was the one thing that had stayed consistent.

“I’m scared as fuck but I want us to be a family” His expression was so sincere and heartfelt that it brought her to tears again. She had hoped that Levi would say yes but she could never be sure. Pulling her into a hug he presses firm yet tender kisses on her temple silently promising her that he would the best father their baby could ask for.

♡    ♡    ♡ 

It had been a few months since then, Y/N’s baby bump was beginning to show more prominently now. True to his words Levi had been working his ass off, picking up extra shifts at work to save up for their baby. She was also working hard, saving every penny possible and trying to balance taking classes on top of it. Her parents had been less than thrilled at finding out their daughter was expecting a child with someone they considered to be stealing their baby’s youth; but had agreed to allow her to live at home until they were financially stable. It had hurt her that they still didn’t accept Levi but she would take advantage of their generosity until she moved out. Things had been going well between them, albeit Levi was more stressed than ever before but at least he’d had his mother’s support throughout all of it. Y/N began to worry when he started answer her calls with less vigour than she was used to, even on his lowest days her calls always cheered him up.

Lately Levi was closing himself off it seemed. His texts were shorter and less frequent and while Y/N knew that he was exhausted she couldn’t help but worry that he was having second thoughts.

“Are you ignoring me on purpose?” She asked over their nightly phone calls one evening.

“I’m just tired Y/N” he sighed heavily and she knew he wasn’t lying about that but his behaviours were becoming too questionable not to dig deeper.

“Do you still want the baby?” The silence at the other end was deafening and against her will hot tears were rolling down her cheeks.

“I don’t know” he sighed again, his voice sounded strained and it only made her feel worse for placing such a big burden on his shoulders so young.

“Sorry” was all she could manage between silent sobs.

“I’m just…confused” Squeezing her eyes shut she willed herself not to make any noise, not wanting to add to the stress she was already putting him through.

“It’s fine Levi! I’m sorry for bothering you, you should sleep! I’ll talk to you later” Her voice was disgustingly fake and he knew it.

“Y/N wait!” She hung up the phone pretending that she hadn’t heard him. Rolling over onto her side she pulled the blankets over her head and cried herself to sleep.

Levi threw his phone across the bed groaning in frustration, he didn’t know what to think anymore. He was emotionally and physically drained between having to help his mom financially on top of working everyday at two different jobs and having to provide emotional support for Y/N. His body and mind were too exhausted to think coherently. He’d been having doubts for a few weeks now, the growing life inside her belly added to the impeding stress that was going to follow after their baby was born. Levi couldn’t handle it anymore, he felt utterly disappointed in himself for not being strong enough for Y/N but he couldn’t help her if he was struggling this much. Every night before he went to bed and every morning when he woke up he’d pull out a picture of the first ultrasound they had gone to; to be quite honest he didn’t even know how the image in front of him was growing to be a baby. But it reminded him of why he got up everyday. Life had suddenly become more difficult than he had ever imagined at seventeen but Y/N was worth it. Without realizing it Levi had fallen asleep with the picture pressed against his chest.

♡    ♡    ♡ 

The next morning he had woken up feeling more refreshed than he had in months. Levi had only been slightly disappointed when he’d found no messages from Y/N. He could tell that his words had hurt her and knew that he needed to make it up to her. Levi was about to jump into the shower when the smell of bacon hit him like a truck, his stomach grumbled loudly and it wasn’t until then that he realized he hadn’t had anything to eat since lunch yesterday. Curiously he wandered downstairs to find Y/N in the kitchen quietly humming to herself as she prepared breakfast.

“Hey what’s all this?” He asked his arms wrapping around her from behind making her jump in surprise.

“God you scared the shit out of me!” She gasps as his arms tighten their hold on her waist, his head buried into the crook of her neck. Shutting of the stove she turns around to face him, her eyes still slightly puffy from crying the night before.

Levi frowns at her bloodshot eyes, his thumbs coming up to caress her cheeks.

“Were you crying?” Avoiding his gaze she tries not to get emotional again at how affectionate he was being.

“No” she mumbled but Levi knew all her tells and could see she was obviously lying so that he wouldn’t feel bad about the way their call had ended last night.

“Anyway um your mom let me in, I made you breakfast since I know how hard you’ve been working lately and I feel bad I haven’t been able to help you out and it’s my fault that you’re tired all the time-“ Levi’s lips meet hers in a long overdue kiss cutting off her ramblings. Her hands grab at the material of his shirt sighing happily against his mouth.

“It’s not your fault babe and I’m sorry for making you feel like that” His grey eyes shining with only love for the girl in front of him.

“But last night you said that you didn’t want the baby” Her voice was soft, repeating the words out loud hurt just as much as they had last night. Levi would be damned if she felt like she had forced this upon him.

“What I said was stupid, I didn’t mean it. I’ve just been really stressed out and tired from work and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.” Cupping her face between his hands he draws her in for another kiss.

“I don’t regret this at all Y/N. I love you both so much and I can’t wait to meet our baby” his hand slides down to her stomach. A surge of intense admiration for his girlfriend makes him choke back tears, never in his life had he felt so strongly about anything and it scared the hell out of him but seeing that smile on her face was worth all the pain. Their future was worth it and together they would be able to make it out of anything.

“Come on let’s eat before all your hard work goes to waste” kissing the top of her head all his doubts disappeared. There was nothing that could tear him away from his family.

Masterlist

Language: English Rating: Teen and Up Audiences (T) / P12 Warnings: - Fandom: Kingdom Hearts Series: Another 358 Days (Ao3, Tumblr) Genre: Sickfic, Hurt/Comfort, some Angst Characters: Xion, Isa, Axel, Naminé, Roxas Relationships: Roxas/Xion, Xion&Isa (background), Axel/Isa (background), Xion&Naminé (background) Words: 5,416 Chapter: 1/1 Beta: CryptidGrimnoir137 and FanficWriter827 (both links to their Ao3 accounts) Notes: I’m currently taking a social media break (even though I kind of interrupted it for RokuShi Week), so if I’m not as responsive to comments as I usually am, please forgive me. I still highly appreciate every single one of them. Written for RokuShi Week 2021, Day 2: Taking Care of Each Other Other Platforms: -

Xion knew sicknesses weren’t an unusual thing at all. In autumn, a cold had been going around at school, and the teachers had kindly asked everyone who showed symptoms to wear masks to prevent it from spreading further, and stay at home if they had a fever or felt too sick to go to school. She had even gotten a taste of it herself already.

But that happened in late autumn, the time of the year when it was normal to get sick. Now, spring was finally coming to Twilight Town. There were green buds that would soon turn into leaves on the trees, and the birds sang so loud that it was getting hard to sleep from time to time. The days were also getting brighter since the sun was rising, and the higher it climbed in the sky, the warmer they got as well. Xion and her friends could even ditch their coats and pullovers in favor of jackets and long-sleeved shirts on occasion, when the weather was very good.

On this Wednesday, the weather was particularly nice. There were barely any clouds on the sky, and the twilight was more radiant than usual. Xion was surprised that Roxas wasn’t up yet. She knew he loved watching the eternal sunset, and he usually didn’t sleep in.

It was a good thing they only had school until lunchtime today. As much as Xion loved going there and learning new things, the weather was far too nice to be stuck inside all day. Maybe she could finally ask Roxas to teach her how to use a skateboard today.

Xion turned away from the window and poured some yoghurt into the cereal she was making herself for breakfast. She might have been a bad cook, but she could handle pouring yoghurt into a bowl. What could possibly go wrong?

“Isa, have you seen the thermometer?”

She turned around in surprise. “Axel?”

It was not that she hadn’t expected him at all – he had to work during their schooltime, so he was supposed to get up around the same time as them. He was a bit early today though. Axel would usually oversleep – seeing him being up in time was a rarity.

“Xion, watch the yoghurt!”, Isa called. “You’re pouring it all over the place!”

“Oh!” He was right. Barely any yoghurt had made it into her cereal bowl. Most of it was spilled over the kitchen counter all around the bowl, and some of it was dripping down onto the floor. “I’m sorry…”

Isa shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, it’s just yoghurt,” he said in a much friendlier tone. “Just make sure to clean it up, okay?”

Sure. She had caused the mess after all… Xion nodded and went to the sink to get a rag.

“And good morning to you too, Lea!”, Isa huffed. “You know, you should really work on a proper sleeping schedule for yourself! You’re either overly tired or you oversleep in the morning!”

“Yeah, yeah…”

Maybe Isa had a bad day at work, Xion thought. He was always complaining more whenever that was the case, albeit never in a cruel way like he had as Saïx. No, whenever Isa complained about something, it was most likely because he was worried, and Xion got the feeling that he was worried about Axel even more than he was worried about them.

“As for the thermometer, it should be in the medicine cabinet in the bathroom,” Isa went on. “Why?”

“Roxas isn’t feeling too well today,” Axel replied. “He’s been keeping me up half the night, I just wanna make sure he doesn’t have a fever too.”

Xion almost dropped her spoon. That sounded serious – was Roxas sick?

“Oh, I see,” Isa nodded. “Shall I call the school and tell them that he is staying at home today?”

“That would be great,” Axel nodded. “Can you call Even too? I don’t want to have to rush calling off work in case he wants me to take Roxas over to Radiant Garden.”

So he was definitely ill… Otherwise they wouldn’t talk about calling Even.

Xion recalled her own sickness involving fever in autumn fairly well. As normal as it was to fall ill from time to time, at least according to Axel and Isa, for Xion it was definitely the worst part about being normal. While staying in bed was somewhat bearable for her, causing her friends such worry wasn’t.

It didn’t help that she had been the first out of all three people inhabiting Replica bodies to fall sick. Axel had called off his work that day in order to take her to Radiant Garden so Even could observe her and make sure there were no complications. Xion usually didn’t mind being hooked up to a computer – not as much as she knew Roxas did anyways – but she had minded being taken to Radiant Garden. Even though she had been asleep for most of the trip, it had been terribly exhausting, and done nothing to speed her recovery up.

She had ended up spending an entire week there. Roxas had called every evening, and Naminé had joined her after a few days due to having caught the very same sickness.

But Roxas… He had never been sick before, at least not this bad. Sure, he had caught one or two colds in winter, but never something that had kept him from going to school. If it was this bad, he wouldn’t be able to go to school. Not that they immediately sent anyone who wasn’t feeling too well home, but a fever was a definite reason to stay at home.

The only time she could remember when Roxas had been off worse… A cold shiver ran down Xion’s back. She bit her lip.

“Are you alright, Xion?” Isa looked genuinely worried. Were her thoughts this obvious?

… Right, her emotionally influenced color changes. She forgot those existed most of the time since the issue wasn’t as pressing as it had been when it first happened anymore. It wasn’t like she was trying to take full control of it after all, it was just a part of who she was. Right now, her freckles or eyes must be lilac.

She sighed in partial defeat. “I’m just worried about Roxas.”

That wasn’t the whole truth. The last time Roxas had been in a truly bad physical state… That had been back in the Organization, when Xion had unintentionally siphoned his strength.

Getting sick was normal, yes, but what if Roxas wasn’t simply sick? What if history was repeating itself?

Xion lowered her head. She didn’t want to leave Roxas – actually, she didn’t want to leave the whole family they had found here in Twilight Town. It might not be a conventional one, actually they were a weird bunch of social outcasts some probably just shook their heads upon seeing, but Xion didn’t care what others thought. Even if it was merely because she didn’t know what actual families were like – to her, this weird bunch of social outcasts was family, no matter what.

But most of all, she didn’t want to leave Roxas. He meant so much to her.

Which was precisely why she would leave regardless, if it meant he would feel better. Sure, he might not be happy about it, and get that sad expression on his face once he heard about it. But he had Axel and Naminé to help him get over it. Oh, and Isa too of course – if Roxas let him that was. While their relationship had somewhat improved steadily, she doubted that he would let Isa help him with anything.

“Why don’t you go and see how bad it is for yourself then?”, Isa asked. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind seeing you.”

‘Because that might make it worse.’

“I still have to clean this up, don’t I?”, Xion lied instead, motioning to the yoghurt on the counter. She was glad that no colorful tell-tale freckles appeared on her skin and her eyes and hair retained their usual color this time. “Besides, I have to prepare for school. Naminé and I still have to go even when Roxas is sick, right?”

“Well, I don’t see any reason why you shouldn’t,” Isa responded. He looked skeptical though. Did he notice something? “Are you sure you’re alright, Xion? You seem a bit off.”

She shrugged. “I’m just worried, Isa, that’s all. You’d be worried about Axel too if he was sick, right?”

“You do have a point there,” Isa chuckled. “Although I guess I’d also be a bit stressed out. Lea can be incredibly exhausting when he is sick. Make him a cup of tea and he will almost certainly complain about it being too hot or too cold…”

She could hardly imagine that – it seemed so off that it almost made her giggle.

“Well, I guess I have to make some phonecalls,” Isa said. “You get ready for school, alright?”

Xion sighed as soon as he left the room. It wasn’t that she didn’t appreciate Isa worrying about her, but she still would rather have talked to someone else about her issues. Isa was a good person, and more often than not Xion was glad that he was around, but she still couldn’t bring herself to trust him completely, and she doubted that she ever would.

She went back to the sink and rinsed the rag.

When it came to this, she couldn’t talk to anyone though. Axel would try to stop her from doing the only thing that would solve the problem – leaving as soon as possible, so she didn’t worsen Roxas’ condition any further. Roxas himself was out of the question for obvious reasons. And Naminé was a great friend and a good listener, who probably wouldn’t try to stop her and keep her plans a secret as well, but Xion didn’t want to upset her too.

Besides, all of them were busy. It would be a good opportunity to slip away without anyone noticing… Then again, she needed to pack some things first, something that would probably not go unnoticed.

They only had school until the sun was in the South today. Sure, they technically had extracurricular activities in the afternoon, like Naminé’s Brightening School Up!-project which aimed to make the school more aesthetically pleasing, but those were completely voluntarily. She could always skip her own Rock Climbing Club.

On top of that the school was a good half-hour-walk away from the apartment. Maybe that was enough to at least slow the process down for now. That way, she could pack her things after school, when both Axel and Naminé were out of house and Isa was asleep. Roxas was in no condition to stop her anyways.

With that plan in mind, Xion walked out of the kitchen and grabbed her rucksack from the dining table in the living room. She needed to leave as soon as possible…

“Good morning, Xion!”

Apparently Naminé was done in the bathroom earlier than usual.

Xion forced a smile on her face and tried to not show her true colors. “Hi Nami!” Hopefully she didn’t notice anything. “Wonderful day outside, isn’t it?”

“It is,” Naminé nodded, giggling a little. “I’m honestly surprised Roxas isn’t up yet.”

So she didn’t know yet… Good, that made things a bit easier for her.

“Did I take too long doing my make up again?”, Naminé asked. “Or are you leaving early?”

Right… She was already holding her rucksack. Xion shook her head. “Don’t worry, you still have some time to eat breakfast and take the tram,” she said. “I just figured I would walk to school today. Make the most of the weather, you know?”

“That’s a good idea!”, Naminé agreed. “I really should have gotten up earlier. Then we could have walked to school together.” She smiled. “Enjoy your walk. See you later?”

“See you later,” Xion nodded.

She felt terrible lying to Naminé like that – she didn’t plan on seeing her later. It was inevitable that Naminé eventually learned about Roxas’ condition, at the latest when he wasn’t in class with her. Therefore Xion had no doubt that the topic would be brought up if they talked, and she wanted to avoid that at any cost. She didn’t know how long she could keep this façade up.

Before she knew it, she had slipped into her favorite pair of shoes and left the house. Of course she took the tram instead of walking like she had told Naminé – the faster she got away the better. She would definitely be at school way too early, but that was fine. Anything was better than hurting Roxas even more.

---

Xion had always been good at avoiding her friends and even hiding from them when she needed too. She had managed that back in the Organization days several times, and she had no problem pulling it off at school, even though there were way more people looking out for her.

And during the breaks, Xion simply stayed at one of the toilets. Fortunately no one asked her about that. And during the lessons, it wasn’t that hard anyways – Naminé, Hayner and Olette were a year above her, and Pence and her both preferred to pay attention in class, so they were too busy to talk.

Well, at least Xion would have preferred to actually listen. On this day, this proved to be impossible however. No matter how often she tried to keep herself together and distract herself by listening to the teacher and taking notes, her mind always wandered off to Roxas. She hoped hadn’t gotten any worse… She should have just left in the morning. Why had she not just left in the morning?

School seemed to last forever on that day, and once the last lesson finally ended, Xion was one of the first students to storm out, not even saying goodbye to anyone like she usually would. She needed to get on the first tram that stopped nearby her house. Maybe she could have asked the teacher to let her leave five minutes earlier than usual so she could have caught an earlier one… Why hadn’t she done that?

The ride home lasted ten minutes, but to Xion it felt so much longer than usual. She was almost sure the tram was late, but several quick glances at her watch revealed that it was perfectly on time. Couldn’t the tram drive just a little bit faster?

Once she finally arrived home, she immediately headed to her room and grabbed the travelling bag Axel and Isa had gotten for her when they had had a sleepover to celebrate Ven’s seventeenth birthday – at least they thought he was turning seventeen since no one really knew his actual age.

Terra, Aqua and him were currently looking for his biological parents on top of searching for Sora in the Realm of Darkness. There was a good chance that Xehanort had simply taken him from them, considering everything else that man had done – Xion’s heart always ached at the thought of a young child being cruelly ripped away from their family. As far as she was aware however, they hadn’t found any leads regarding Ven’s origins yet.

Maybe she could help them. That way, she would at least be with some other friends of hers – even though she knew every look at Ven would hurt, considering just how alike Roxas and him looked.

Xion sighed when she opened her closet. That at least cleared up the question of where to go. Now for the preparations…

She took the neatly folded clothes out in a hurry and stuffed them into the bag without any further regards. Usually, she treated her clothes with a lot more care, but right now she just needed to get as many as she could into the bag, and quickly at that. She didn’t even pay attention at what exactly she was stuffing into the bag – matching clothing was a luxury anyways. All that mattered for now was that it was functional and would last her a few days or weeks. She could care about looking good later, when Roxas was safe.

Once she was done, she left her room and went down the hallway. She tried to be quiet. Roxas needed to rest and she didn’t want to disturb him. Isa was probably sleeping too.

And yet…

Xion hesitated when she was about to pass the door of Roxas’ room. Maybe she should at least take a short look? She hadn’t even gotten to see him in the morning, which meant that yesterday evening would have been the last time she got to see him…

She stopped.

She hadn’t really been paying attention to him then, too caught up in worrying about an upcoming exam. But she wanted to remember his face, with all the details. Would it be too much to at least say goodbye?

… She needed to see him – at least one last time. No matter how selfish that was of her.

With a sigh, Xion opened the door to his room. If she didn’t do this now, she would eventually regret it.

Much to her relief, Roxas seemed to be asleep. That way, he wouldn’t notice that she was about to leave – he would have tried to stop her once he realized that. Xion might have been a fairly good liar and actor, but Roxas could usually see through her with ease. Besides, she hated lying to him in general.

A cable was peeking out from under the wristband he always wore on his left to cover his port up. It connected him to his gummiphone. Xion recalled that after Naminé and her had gotten sick in autumn, Ienzo had programmed an app for their phones to monitor their vital functions when it was necessary, so they didn’t have to go to Radiant Garden every time something was up. All they needed for that was a cable with the appropriate plugs.

Despite this, he looked peaceful.

Roxas often had a rather fitful sleep, he tossed and turned fairly often even when he didn’t have a nightmare. Seeing him resting on his back with the blanket tidily pulled up to his chest was a rare sight.

His hair was a mess. To be fair, Roxas’ hair was always a bit chaotic, but Xion was pretty sure it hadn’t seen a comb yet on this day. The only thing that kept it somewhat in place were his headphones, which he was still wearing. They had a chocolate brown color with some warm grey accents, exactly the colors that suited him, and had two triangles reminiscent of cat ears on top. Xion really liked those on him, she found that he looked cute while wearing them. He must have fallen asleep while listening to some music.

Xion smiled – then, she remembered why she had come.

With a sigh, she sat the traveling bag she had already packed down, trying to be quiet in order to not wake him up.

Walking up to his bedside, she noticed were the bucket next to Roxas’ bed, and the tilted window. Strange – when she had been sick, Isa had told her that leaving the window open while she was in the room wasn’t a good idea. According to him, the drafting could make her cold worse. So why was Roxas’ window tilted then? Maybe because it was warmer outside?

It didn’t matter. She had to leave one way or another, and wondering about tilted windows wasn’t why she was taking this risk.

Xion knelt down at Roxas’ bedside to get a better look at him. She tried to burn the way he looked into her memory, trying to catch as many details as she could.

To her surprise, Roxas wasn’t pale, which she had expected him to be. The contrary, there was a slight, healthy-looking flush on his cheeks. Almost like he wasn’t sick at all. But Xion knew that appearances could lie.

Ven freckled quite quickly when he went outside – ever since the Keybladewar, Xion had never seen him without at least traces of freckles on his face, even after he had spent a considerable amount of time in the Realm of Darkness.

Since Roxas had inherited Ven’s genetic disposition, he was also very prone to freckling in the sun, even though he didn’t have as many as his twin did. The sun in Twilight Town just wasn’t strong enough to give him any. Xion liked how they looked on Roxas when he did have some though. They happened to visit the Land of Departure some weeks ago, and despite Roxas’ religious use of sunscreen, he had gotten quite a few over the course of a single weekend. They were already fading once more, but still clearly visible.

The freckles were on his cheeks, but mainly on his nose. Xion always found Roxas’ nose difficult to describe. It appeared noticeably wider at the bottom than it did at the base, and the tip was a bit chubby, which gave it seem a bit of an upturned look.

His cheekbones had gained slightly more definition over the past months. Xion found it funny how much that changed his face. It made him look… Older, somehow? She was pretty sure there was a better, more flattering word for what she was trying to describe, but she couldn’t think of it.

She wanted to keep looking at him, to wait until he eventually woke up and say goodbye properly, but she knew she couldn’t. Every second she stayed was another second in which she siphoned his strength, one second more in which his state gradually worsened due to her presence. On top of that, she knew Roxas was definitely going to try and stop her from leaving if he was conscious. Time was short – and yet, she couldn’t turn around and leave. She was so selfish…

Maybe she could at least give him something special as a parting gift? That way she didn’t have to feel guilty. She could just leave quietly, without waking him up.

Then again, what would that special something be? She didn’t have the time to get him something, and besides, what would he even like? Despite knowing him all her life, Xion found that question quite difficult to answer.

So she couldn’t even do that.

Xion sighed. “Sorry Roxas,” she whispered and a tear rolled down her cheek. Why was saying goodbye so hard?

In a desperate attempt to give him at least something, Xion leaned forward. This was a gesture she had observed in a movie, and judging by the fact that she had only seen it in a single one so far, she was pretty sure that this was something special. He wouldn’t feel or remember it, but it was the least she could do.

Very gently, Xion pressed her lips onto his forehead. He was less warm than she had imagined – was that good or ba-…

“Xixi?!?”

She shrieked and stumbled back, falling over her bag as she did so.

Roxas had lifted his head and looked at her with wide eyes, obviously startled.

Xion’s heart was racing. She had not expected this – why was he awake? Did she do something wrong by touching his forehead like this?

She lowered her head. “Sorry…”

He pulled his headphones off. “Huh?”

Xion only realized now that he must have been listening to music up until now, which was probably why he hadn’t heard her coming. She must have startled him quite a bit. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “For giving you a scare like that.”

Roxas shook his head. “Don’t worry about it. You didn’t scare me.”

He leaned over to his nightstand and grabbed his gummiphone. A confused look spread across his face when he checked the screen. “Don’t you have Rock Climbing Club?”

She shrugged. “Thought I’d skip it today. Since you’re sick and all.” That was technically true… Even though she didn’t tell him everything. It felt so wrong, she usually told Roxas everything. They were best friends after all.

“That’s sweet of you,” Roxas smiled, but he looked a bit tired doing so.

“How are you?”, Xion blurted out before she could stop herself.

“It’s not that bad…” He yawned. “I’m just a bit tired. Didn’t really get much sleep last night…”

Great. Now she kept him from sleeping on top of making him sick…

Xion sighed and picked up her traveling bag. “I’ll better be going then,” she announced quietly and turned around. She couldn’t bear looking at him any longer. Funny, since that was why she had entered his room in the first place. Well, at least she got to say goodbye…

“Farewell, Roxas.”

It came out quietly and her voice was shaking, almost like a quiet sob. A tear ran down her cheek, and Xion felt that it was probably just the first of many more to come. She didn’t want to leave him behind – but it was for the best. She didn’t want him to be sick either.

“Xion?

If she didn’t leave now, she would never. Either because she couldn’t or because Roxas would stop her.

“What’s with the traveling bag?” He sounded confused.

Another tear ran down her cheek. “Roxas, I…” How was she going to tell him this? It was going to upset him, she was sure of that… And he was already in a fragile state. She didn’t want to make him feel any worse than he already was. But he deserved an explanation. “I can’t stay.”

“Oh.”

That was not the reaction she had been expecting…

“That’s fine.”

Definitely not the reaction that she had been expecting. Xion felt a sting in her heart – was she not important to him anymore? It was unlikely, but maybe it would be better if that was actually the case, considering they could never see each other again…

“I should probably try to get some sleep anyways.” Roxas yawned audibly. “See you later?”

For a moment, Xion was tempted to respond in the same way she had responded to Naminé earlier, but she just couldn’t do that. Lying to Naminé like that was hard, but lying to Roxas… It was impossible. He was her best friend, and he deserved to know the truth.

“I mean forever.”

And that was it. Now she was crying. She just hoped Roxas wouldn’t notice; she didn’t want to make it any harder for him. Xion noticed a sob wanting to escape her throat, but she tried to suppress it, even though her throat started to hurt terribly from it.

“Xion?”

She sniffed. “It’s for the best,” she told him quietly, and her voice sounded a lot higher than usual. “This is all my fault. If I stay, you’ll just get worse…”

“Xion, what are you talking about?”

She couldn’t answer. The throbbing in her throat hurt too much, and she wanted nothing more than to just run away. Storm through this damn door and leave, so he would get better – even if that meant she could never see him again… But she couldn’t. Her muscles were all tense, and yet she couldn’t even move, not even when she heard him throwing back his blanket to get up and walk up to her.

His warm hand briefly brushed against her arm. “Please,” Roxas asked. He sounded almost desperate. “Talk to me.”

Xion couldn’t hold it back any longer. The sob she had been holding back for so long erupted from her throat, and it didn’t even relieve the pain. The traveling bag slipped from her hand, because she was trembling so hard. She cursed herself for being so weak.

Roxas pulled her into a hug, slowly and very carefully. Xion wasn’t sure whether it was because he wanted to leave her room to decline or him getting weaker. In any way, she lacked the strength to free herself, even though Roxas hugged her much more loosely than he usually did.

… He felt so warm against her back. Warm, but not overly so. Did he even have a fever?

Part of Xion wanted to turn around and melt into the hug he was offering her, but she knew she couldn’t. “I’m making you sick, Roxas.”

More tears were running down her cheeks, and if it hadn’t been for Roxas’ careful hug, Xion was pretty sure that her legs would have given out. How did he even manage to hold her up in his state?

“Xion, how did you get that idea?”

“B-Because…” She sobbed. “Because that’s what happened last time…”

And why should it be any different this time? While they were different people with different origins, they both were different versions of the same person, or at least they were supposed to be.

Last time, Roxas was Sora’s Nobody, his shadow, the empty husk that stayed behind when his Other had lost his heart. He hadn’t been supposed to feel, or develop an identity of his own eventually, and yet he had become his own person within less than a year. And Xion was a Replica, an artificial humanoid, programmed to copy Sora’s abilities and absorb his memories. She had been supposed to become Sora eventually, but instead she had become something else entirely.

“But things aren’t like last time.”

This time, they were both Replicas, or at least inhabiting Replica bodies – something right in between biology and technology. Not quite human, but not machine either. Xion remembered how surprised she had been finding out that they could even get sick.

But most of all, they were their own people.

On top of all of this, there were too many things that didn’t make sense. Roxas didn’t seem weak, just tired and exhausted, which made sense given that he hadn’t been able to sleep half the night. Xion briefly wondered what she had been worried about in the first place.

“My stomach just didn’t tolerate dinner so well I guess.”

They had had curry, Axel and Isa had cooked together last night. Due to Isa’s constant nagging about how important healthy food was, they had decided to do something different and use lentils. It had been tasty, but considering they had never tried those before… Thinking about it, Xion’s own stomach had been rumbling quite a bit at night.

She finally turned around to face him. Her vision was a bit blurry from all the tears, but she was able to make out his face. He really wasn’t pale. His eyes weren’t glassy either. Nothing about his appearance was screaming ‘sick’.

Then again… “Axel said you weren’t well this morning.” So it had to be more than stomach rumbles.

Roxas sighed. “I threw up half the night,” he explained. “That’s why I couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh.”

Xion herself had never thrown up herself so far, but she had witnessed Olette doing so in the school’s toilet. She had looked uncomfortable during it, and Xion remembered how unpleasantly it had smelled. Olette had then spent some time at the school’s infirmary, before one of her parents had picked her up and brought her home.

Xion finally returned the hug. “Are you at least feeling a bit better now?”

“Yeah,” Roxas said. He tightened their hug a little. “Still a bit nauseous, but overall, I’m feeling a lot better.”

But what if that was only because she had been in school, away from him?

Xion quickly brushed that thought aside. Even if that was the case, there were plenty of things they could do about it. There was no Replica problem Even and the other scientists hadn’t been able to solve before, so why should this be any different?

It felt like a huge stone fell off her heart – why had she even been worried in the first place?

It was only when they dissolved their hug that she noticed how tired he looked. Xion wasn’t sure whether his eyes were actually smaller than usual or if the dark circles underneath just made them appear that way.

“You should rest some more,” she said. “You look really tired, Roxas.”

Roxas nodded. “I probably should.”

They walked over to Roxas’ bed, and Xion covered him with the sheets. Roxas smiled a bit at that.

“Anything else I can do for you?” If she was already here, she could help him get better.

“Stay with me please?”

Xion smiled. “Of course.” There was nothing she’d rather do.

Soulmate Drabble

Okay listen, my explanation for this is, because they meet younger in Soulmate AU, Sol hasn’t been on T as long, and also ow ow ow ow ow

TW for: gender dysphoria, bathroom language, menstruation and all that entails. Also brief reference to Kent’s suicide attempt.

Not tagging anybody directly in this because i have no idea if it is for anybody except Me Personally and it isn’t even really whump

----

Sol doesn’t even make a conscious decision not to say anything. It isn’t like it’s a secret. Yes, saying it out loud does objectively make it worse, makes him use words that shouldn’t be his anymore, goddamn it, but he isn’t really thinking about that, at least not consciously. He just scrubs out the toilet--not because he’s hiding the evidence, but because he cares about cleanliness, and also possibly because it’s been a little while since he’s had to share a bathroom with anyone--and makes a mental note to whine to his endocrinologist.

Later. When he isn’t feeling--the way he’s feeling now.

There’s a fog that takes over when this happens, that fills his brain up and hovers between him and anybody else, and it’s--it’s thicker and worse every time, because he always hated this but the feeling that it’s supposed to go away somehow makes it worse; he handled it fine before, really only worried about it when it meant he had to open packaging in public restrooms, but it’s worse now, is so much not a part of who he is now, which is to say that he emerges from the bathroom deep inside his own head and doesn’t notice Kent pause at the window where he’s fussing with his plants; part of him probably sees Kent stop and turn back to him with a look somewhere between confusion and concern, but he doesn’t have the brain space to make anything of it.

Even separate from whatever he feels about it emotionally, Sol’s periods have always hit him like a ton of bricks.

He could, if he wanted, flop dramatically over the arm of the couch and moan loudly and curse the heavens or whatever, but his experience has been that it doesn’t fucking help, so he sits down like a human being instead, and turns on the TV with full knowledge he is not going to watch whatever’s on.

“Hey,” Kent’s voice says softly from directly over Sol’s shoulder, and he jumps a little; he fully had not realized Kent was hovering behind the couch looking worried. “You okay?” 

He blinks at Kent. Kent is still holding the little ceramic watering can they bought him at Goodwill last week. It’s shaped like a little bird, and the details are painted in summer-sky blue, which is Kent’s color. The plants were Sol’s idea--he didn’t say to Kent, “hey, you better stay alive to take care of these plants,” but he thinks the implication was clear--and the little pitcher was Pax’s contribution, and Sol doesn’t think either of them expected Kent to love it so much, like no one had ever given him a gift before.

“Yeah,” Sol says, and he isn’t even lying on purpose; Kent is standing there with his bandaged wrists and Sol is immediately not thinking about his own bullshit anymore. “What’s up, baby, you need anything?”

Kent frowns at him, like he’s confused. “No,” he says slowly, like he’s waiting for Sol to say something. “You--are you sure you’re okay, Sol? I thought--I can--are you sick, or something?”

Sol stares at Kent blankly for a second, and then he is on his feet and staring at his Soulmate with absolute horror, because Kent can feel his pain.

Which he fucking knows, which shouldn’t be a fucking revelation, Kent must’ve always been sensitive but now that they’re together he’s a fucking feelings bloodhound, and there is--there is no logical reason why that should be sending violent spikes of panic through his already-roiling stomach now, when Sol already knew he could do that, and yet--and yet that’s exactly what’s happening; Sol is standing here staring at the mild concern on Kent’s face and feeling his pulse hammer in his ears and his breath speed up.

“None of your fucking business,” he practically snarls.

Kent blinks at him, and to his infinite credit, does not crumble like a puppy that’s been yelled at, which he would absolutely be within his rights to do, just looks at Sol like he’s got no idea what he’s talking about and says, “Huh?” 

Which is exactly what Sol needs, it turns out. Because now he remembers he’s not talking to kids at school, or even to some nebulous idea of a Soulmate he spent years worrying would call him a girl, he’s talking to Kent, who cried when Sol bought him a spider plant and is objectively more feminine than he is and also loves him.

Sol laughs once, feeling his shoulders loosen, and scrubs his hand over his face, a little embarrassed now. “Sorry, man,” he says ruefully. “I just, uh, you know.” He gestures vaguely at himself. “Cramps.”

Kent blinks at him, and then his eyes widen in sympathy, which makes Sol tense a little. “You--wait, really? It feels awful.” 

Sol laughs again, in spite of himself. That’s--okay, he can’t put his finger on why, but that’s the right response, that feels good. “Yeah,” he says. “Fucking murderous, right? Always have been.” He smiles at Kent, who looks faintly ill, even at the second-hand version of the pain. “I get, fucking--my legs get all funny, too. Like somebody scraped out my bone marrow with an ice cream scoop.”

“Ugh,” Kent moans, which was the intention. Sol grins at him and flops back on the couch, feeling--well, physically still awful, but a lot lighter, mentally. “Can I help? Do you need anything?” He comes around the front of the couch so Sol can see him shake his head and wrinkle his nose. “I can’t even feel it properly and I hate it.”

“Nope,” Sol says cheerfully. “Nothin’ to do now but wait it out, baby.”

Kent does flop dramatically over the arm of the couch, sliding in next to Sol. “That’s awful, man.”

Sol grins and wraps his arms around Kent’s shoulders so he can pull him properly into his lap. “Your sympathy changes nothing,” he lies easily. He can’t stop smiling, now. “You are useful only as a heating pad. C’mere.”

“You’re warmer than me,” Kent points out, while he obligingly arranges himself between Sol’s knees, with his chest against Sol’s stomach and his head a warm perfect weight over Sol’s heart.

Kent really isn’t a good heating pad--he runs cold from being so skinny, and he’s all elbows. But the pain feels thinner for being spread around, easier to see through. And Sol’s chest is more than warm enough for the two of them now, anyway.

----

Pax comes back a half-hour later with their arms full of groceries and finds both their soulmates half-asleep on the couch, in a tangle of arms and legs. Kent opens one eye to look at them without moving an inch.

“We’re having cramps,” he tells them.

“Ah,” Pax says solemnly. They disappear in the kitchen for almost a full thirty seconds before they come back with a heated rice pillow Sol knows he didn’t used to own. “Budge up,” they say.

Sol rolls his eyes and sits up just enough for Pax to slide in behind him and pass him the little warm pillow. Kent makes a happy noise when Sol tucks it between them, enjoying the warmth.

Sol leans back against Pax’s chest. Pax tucks their arm around him, and changes the TV neither Sol nor Kent has been watching to some wrestling match they’re somehow interested in.

Fair enough, Sol figures, sleepy and warm, inside and out.

D, H, K, and W for your OCs please ❤️

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Maggie- She's not sure how her future with Lucio is gonna turn out, but she knows it'll be full of laughter. Ideally, she'd like to get a physical store for her candle business and move in there with Lucio and the girls. It'd be a good bit smaller than he's used to, so there'd be a lot of whining from him, but she thinks he could come to love the lifestyle she has in mind for them. She wants a home where they could grow old together without all the hassle of taking care of the palace.

Panya- She wants to travel the world, see as many places as she can with Asra and Muriel. There's no kids in her future; she can't even take care of herself sometimes, much less a whole other human life. She'll live an exciting life, full of adventure and probably danger, though not quite on the same level as the devil, but it'll be fun nonetheless.

Kimoni- He wants to start a school (funded by Nadia, most likely) and become a teacher, probably literature, and create opportunities for the kids of Vesuvia through clubs and fundraisers. If he managed to convince Julian to teach, he would teach biology, history, or geography (maybe all 3) and he and Kimoni would be the sort of couple that come into each others classrooms during their breaks and give each other little kisses just to gross out the students. They might adopt a kid, maybe one of their students who comes from an abusive family, Matilda style, and live out the rest of their lives in stability and calm.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Maggie- She doesn't have much to hide from Lucio. Then again, how much can you hide from someone you've known since you were 6? These two tell each other everything, and it feels nice for both of them to be able to let down their walls and just vent and gossip.

Panya- She's so honest it hurts sometimes. She doesn't have secrets but she's pretty emotionally detached when it comes to anything other than being happy. She's the person that acts super happy and boisterous all the time to hide the fact that she doesn't know how to handle emotional depth.

Kimoni- It's not that he keeps secrets, he just doesn't tell people things unless they ask about them. He sucks at starting conversations because he's so blunt, but things do eventually get said.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Maggie- She doesn't think that she's a very good kisser. She tends to go all out as soon as it starts, tongue and everything (because she's so starved of affection), and she thinks it's a little off-putting. Lucio loves it, though, because it contrasts her demeanor so much, and it's a side of her that only he gets to see.

Their first kiss was very out of character for both of them, very soft and tender and nervous. At first it was little pecks, but then Maggie grabbed the reins his collar and pulled him in for a full on make-out session.

Panya- She doesn't kiss as much as you'd expect. She'll kiss Asra's forehead or Muriel's chest as much as possible, but mouth-on-mouth is.. strange to her. It feels too special for someone like her (homegirl's got self-worth issues out the wazoo), and she tends to shy away from it.

She doesn't remember the first time she kissed either of her partners, but if she had to guess it was probably during one of their numerous cuddle sessions. Very sleepy little smooches to whatever skin she could find.

Kimoni- He's a very slow kisser, much to Julian's delight (delayed gratification hhhhh). He doesn't go for the mouth straight away. He'll run his lips along Julian's jaw, with little nips of teeth here and there, taking as long as he can to get to his mouth. Once he's there, though, it's heavenly.

Their first kiss was just as sensual and soft as you'd expect, complete with little mumbles of "I love you" and fingers in each other's hair. It wasn't the kind of kiss that leaves you panting, it was the kind that leaves you breathless.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon

Maggie- Whenever there's a big storm and Mitzi gets scared, Maggie sneaks her into one of the guest rooms and sleeps next to her. She can never hide it well, though; muddy hoofprints bigger than the average human hand don't come out of carpet very easily.

Panya- Not really fluff, but she loves to climb things. Not just buildings and trees, she'll climb people, too. Specifically Muriel. He'll be standing at the counter of the shop organizing ngf something and she'll just.. climb onto his shoulder. Like a cat. The first time she did it, he got so scared he fell over, but now it's just a normal thing. He'll walk around with her on his shoulder reading or smthn. Sometimes she hits her head on the rafters, sometimes she falls off, but she always ends up okay.

Kimoni- Julian loves to trace the edges of his vitiligo. It's a grounding thing whenever he's under a lot of stress, and Kimoni likes that he thinks it's pretty. He even has a splotch on his throat in the shape of a heart. Julian loves to kiss that one.

Enemies Of The State : Dark!Klaroline {4}

summary:

This fiction follows the events of just how Klaus Mikaelson and Caroline Forbes lost everything that tied them to their humanity, leading them into something neither of them can come back from.

———————

{10 years ago}

She was bloody. Sweet, red ecstasy dripping from her mouth as her fangs protruded, swiftly sinking them into another helpless victim once more. She felt nothing but satisfaction as it ran down her throat, hungry for more. Humanity was nowhere to be found. He stood beside his queen, proud as she cracked her victim’s neck, staring at her with love and lust. He was always insatiable for power as they made it rain blood. He kissed her bloodstained lips when she looked at him, whispering with a deathly tone “It’s you and me, my sweet Caroline. You and me ruling the world forever,”

Caroline suddenly woke up with a jolt, heavily breathing.

“What was that,” She whispered to herself, trying to wrap her head around what had just happened. That was the first time she dreamt of him. It was also the first time she’d dreamt of her bloodlust.

The events of yesterday rushed into her mind quickly. The phone call with Klaus, Rebekah’s house...how she threatened Damon so much he fled her house in an instant. Caroline shivered as the memory of her actions came to her. It confused her. Caroline figured out she liked what she did to Damon, and it terrified her. This wasn’t her. She was good. Sweet, bubbly Caroline who needed to be good.

Yes, she needed to be good. But what did she want to be?

Caroline shook her head, trying to get rid of these thoughts. Get yourself together she thought as she got up from her bed. Looking outside her window drearily, the heavy rain matched her mood perfectly. School was the last thing on her mind, and it was Monday. Caroline only wanted to remain in her room after yesterday, and she felt as though she deserved a break from the hysteria that was surrounding her constantly.

What she did want was blood, and even then she felt irked to go near it after her dream. When did life become so difficult?

The door to her room opened as Caroline was about to get something to eat. Her mother looked tired, leaning against the doorframe “Hey, honey”

“Long shift at the office last night?” Caroline gave Liz a weary smile, to which she returned. “We were working on a case late, animal attack”

“It was probably Stefan,” Caroline joked. Liz raised an eyebrow. She forgot how her mother didn’t find vampire jokes funny, trying to change the topic quickly.

“So, what’s up?”

“I wanted to tell you Elena called. It seemed urgent so you might wanna call her back,” Liz said as she backed out of the room. Caroline groaned. She did not want to meet her friends today, not after being emotionally and physically drained yesterday.

She quickly makes her way to her phone, turning it back on to find Elena had given her four missed calls. She couldn’t help but feel annoyed, Elena had probably gotten herself into another vampire mess and needed help. Hastily pressing down on the contact, she brought it up to her ears. Elena answered immediately.

“I’ve been trying you all morning, Caroline” Elena said sharply. She simply rolled her eyes, falling back on her bed.

“Sorry, I just woke up”

Elena breathed heavily through the phone. “Can you come around in a few hours?”

“I’m not feeling great today” She groans, hoping her friend would say that they could meet some any time other than today.

“It’s important, Caroline” Elena said with seriousness. She knew she couldn’t get out of it at this point, hesitantly telling the doppelgänger that she’d be there before hanging up.

Caroline sighed, running her fingers through her blonde locks in thought of what Elena could’ve gotten herself into that she needed her. I really cannot catch a break, can I? Maybe she should just disappear. She’d never been to Paris before. Her mind immediately drifted off to the night of the Mikaelson ball when Klaus showed her his paintings. I’ll take you. Wherever you want. Rome, Paris...Tokyo?

Caroline felt a deep pang in her chest. It was as though every memory she had of him hurt her just as much as his call did. They were nice ones, her favourite being the time he stole her Miss Mystic application. She smiled faintly, that being the start of when she slowly fell for him.

Caroline shook her head. That phone call was the last she’d ever hear from him. She repeated herself this often when she started to miss him a little too much. It was times like these when she wished she was human, missing not feeling such emotions at a heightened degree.

“Well this is quite depressing to watch,”

Rebekah Mikaelson stood in Caroline’s room with a bored look on her face. The young vampire jumped at the intrusion, groaning when she found the Original leaning against her bedroom wall.

“Has nobody told you to knock?,” Caroline hisses. Rebekah shrugged nonchalantly, pulling herself off as she looked around her room. “I like your room. Very human.”

“Can you tell me what you could possibly want at ten in the morning?,” She got straight to the point. Dealing with Rebekah was the last thing she needed right now.

“I wanted to ask you about your rather alarming visit yesterday, but it seems by your attitude you’ve already dealt with your issues with my brother”

“Not that it’s any of your business,” Caroline said sharply “But I’ve handled it”

“So you do have a thing for him,” Rebekah chuckled. “I didnt know you liked sociopaths, Caroline”

“Kindly get out if there’s nothing else you want to talk about” She angrily diverted the conversation. If she wanted Klaus out of her life for good, she needed to avoid his family members, including his bitchy sister.

“You should be nicer to me,” Rebekah said sharply “I even delivered your little message this morning”

“That wasn’t necessary-”

“I’m sure he won’t be a bother to you or your little group anymore,” Rebekah hastily cut her off. Caroline felt her face drop. She wanted him to not be a bother, right? She wasn’t the best at knowing what she wanted, even as a human. Rebekah noticed Caroline’s sudden expression change, rolling her eyes as she sat down on her unmade bed.

“Nik only cares about himself,” She tried explaining. “He’ll break you. Tear you apart. I think the only person who’d be suitable for him is someone without humanity”

Humanity.

Caroline often thought about turning it all off sometimes. More times than usual following the events of the day before. She wanted to when she broke down in the middle of the street, when her father died....when she liked the power she felt attacking Damon. She’d never done it before, which had made it all the more tempting. Especially since the predatory nature she bore was coming out of her more than usual.

“Humanity is a vampire’s greatest weakness,” Caroline murmured to herself. Klaus had said that once, whispering it in her ear on the front porch when he had shown Tyler mercy. She inwardly smiled at the thought.

“Right well i’m going to school,” Rebekah got up, flipping her blonde hair over her shoulder. “I have a dance to plan. You coming?”

“I’m skipping, actually”

“You really are changing,” The Original scoffed as she made her way out of the bedroom. Caroline fell back on her bed in exasperation. Even Rebekah saw it, and she wasn’t surprised in the slightest.

She spent the next few hours by taking a shower and snacking on blood bags. She even took out one of her favourite things she’d ever received, the drawing that Klaus had left on her bed. Thank you for your honesty, written on the bottom right corner on the parchment in his neat handwriting. Her heart clenched. No, she wouldn’t ever throw it away. Not this.

Her phone rang a few minutes later, Elena’s name shone on the screen like it was taunting her in some way. She put down the drawing beside her, hastily picking up her phone. “Elena, i’m coming okay?”

“Everyone’s just waiting for you Caroline. I told you to be here in a few hours?” Elena heavily sighs on the other end. Why would all of her friends be waiting on her? They usually pay no mind and start talking about whatever trouble they’ve gotten themselves in without her. She wasn’t important in any means.

“I’m on my way,” Caroline says before cutting the call, but as she reached for her purse, the drawing caught her eye. Caroline was paranoid, and she knew Liz snooped in her room sometimes. Her drawer didn’t have a lock on it either. Hesitantly, she carefully placed the parchment into one of the pockets of her purse. It was small, nobody would know unless they looked into it.

At least you haven’t changed being paranoid as hell. Pulling on her shoes hastily, she walks out the door eager to get Elena’s thing done with so she could go back to being invisible.

She reaches Elena’s house in a few minutes, standing outside on the porch as she peers into the window that looked into the living room. Her friends were all there, including Damon. She felt anxious, gathering her will to knock on the door.

Elena immediately opens up, her face sullen and serious, she doesn’t greet the vampire as she simply steps aside. Caroline walks in confused. Her friend had never acted so deviant towards her before, and it was for this reason her nerves went through the roof. Surely it wasn’t because of her, right?

She began questioning this when Bonnie, Matt and Stefan all stood next to the fireplace, a serious expression painted on their faces when she reached the living room. Damon Salvatore gave Caroline a glare as hostile as ever. Her anxiety was heightened at this point, dreading what she knew was inevitable, yet holding on to hope that it was not what she thought.

“So, what’s this about?” She asked tiredly, not knowing the storm that was about to happen shortly after. Elena calmy walked towards the blonde vampire, arms crossed.

“We know, Caroline”

She froze instantly. No.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Elena”

“Seriously?” Elena says with a raised voice “Damon told us everything. There’s no point in denying it”

They weren’t supposed to know. They were never supposed to know.

“What exactly do you think I did?” Caroline asked, her voice wavering.

“Let’s start with how you went all Barbie Klaus on me,” Damon spat out, referencing his name on purpose. She could see it in his eyes. He longed to call her out. She stiffened.

“Because you threatened me! You followed me around and had the nerve to show up thinking you could mess with my head-”

“Wait,” Stefan interrupted in the middle of her sentence “ What exactly did he threaten you with Caroline?”

Damon smirked with a merciless look in his eyes. The same look he gave Caroline the day before. The one that said got you. She quickly figured it out. Damon hadn’t told them about Klaus. Damon was waiting on her so he could tell the truth in front of everyone, making her suffer just as she wanted him to.

“Well that’s the fun part of this whole thing,” Damon clapped his hands tauntingly, turning his amused gaze towards Caroline. “Should I tell them or should you?”

She felt her heart in her throat, wordlessly pleading him not to as she remained still, knowing what was inevitably coming. “Blondie has been lying to you all,”

“Damon. Please,” Caroline’s voice cracked weakly. She couldn’t move. The older Salvatore brother merely gave her a sadistic look.

“What is he talking about?” Elena asked sharply. The air was thick with tension as her friends waited impatiently for some clarification. Caroline felt faint, wishing she could disappear in the moment more than ever. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She was supposed to forget about him, without letting the people she cared about know her betrayals against them. The room felt at a loss for words with the next that followed.

“Caroline,” Damon spat out mercilessly “Is in love with Klaus Mikaelson.”

—————

There was a storm going on when Klaus went over to the cemetery in order to finish what the Deveraux witch had started once and for all.

It all looked very diabolical when the lightening cracked above, the rain heavy as Klaus took Sophie Deveraux roughly by the arm, dragging her towards the grave he had dug for her when he was done with the deed.

“You shouldn’t have meddled with my life Love,” Klaus spat out venomously as Sophie looked hopeless as ever dangling by his grip. “This is the fate my enemies meet, and it will now be your own.” Klaus swiftly pulled her up, his hand against her chest, ready to take her heart when Sophie weakly said her next words.

“You can’t stop what’s coming,”

Klaus narrowed his eyes at the witch, interested in what she had to say before he killed her, he roughly asked what she meant.

“I saw it,” Sophie meekly said “I saw what would happen if you lived another day. I couldn’t let that happen.”

“What did you see?,” He demanded sharply. Sophie looked terrified now, the type of look that he’d expected her to have when she was brought here to die. The witch looked as if a horrible memory came back to her.

“Your humanity, Klaus” She said shakily “It wasn’t there. T-The both of you are going to start something you can never come back from,”

“What do you mean the both of you?,” Klaus growled with impatience. “Answer me, you incessant witch!”

“I’d rather die than to live in the world you’ll soon create.” Sophie coughed, rain mixing with the blood staining her mouth as she whispered her last words.

“You can’t stop what’s coming.”

Klaus had enough at this point. The witch obviously wasn’t going to give up what she knew, and it was for this he ravenously plunged his hand in her chest.

Sophie Deveraux went wide eyed, blood filling her mouth as it dripped on her rain soaked clothing. Klaus left his hand against her rapidly beating heart, evidence that she was fighting for her life. He chuckled mercilessly wanting her to suffer before giving her the peace of death.

“You witches truly are the bane of my existence,” He said, shooting daggers with his eyes as the dying witch begged for him to end her suffering, choking on her blood. He finally complied, swiftly grabbing ahold of the organ as he ripped it out.

Sophie went limp with death in his hands. Klaus felt satisfaction as he roughly tossed her body in the shallow grave, along with her heart. However, he couldn’t help but feel conflicted with what little information he’d been given about his future. Perhaps she was just trying to antagonise him. Klaus scoffed, uncertain yet satisfied he dealt with the reason he came here for in the first place.

You can’t stop what’s coming. Your Humanity. It wasn’t there.

Klaus calmy walked away from the scene, wiping his bloody hands on his jeans as he thought about it. Yes, he knew things would escalate on another level with his humanity gone. He had never turned it off for this very reason. He had gone through horrific events, yet he kept it intact.

Caroline Forbes was one of the things that tethered him to his humanity, the reason he helped Katherine to live. Rebekah had surprisingly called him that morning, letting him know that she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He expected it after the phone call, but it didn’t hurt less either.

He shivered thinking about what he would do if Elijah killed Caroline, had he not given a damn about his vain lover. His family was another aspect to his humanity, he loved them unconditionally, even though they were placed in a box for centuries on end.

Yes, Klaus knew the consequences if anything were to happen to either of the two, which is why he went to great lengths to protect them. The witch was right, but the future she’d told him was a future he would make sure would never happen if he had anything to do with it. The question remained on his mind, however.

Who was the other person?

——————

masterlist

The Kings of Paradise Guys as Dads! (FLUFF) [KOP-headcanon]

Based on Anonymous request: Whenever you have time, could you do the KOP guys as fathers/or when the MC is pregnant?

I decided to combine both these scenarios and write this headcanon, albeit a bit lengthy and kinda detailed. I've written this with the basic idea of the guys having a daughter, because it really appealed to me. Hope you like it!❤

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☆~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Taki:

When MC first told him about the pregnancy, he had been over the moon. He had dreamt of having a family with her ever since high school. He hugged her tight and the first words out of his mouth were "Thank you MC, I love you so much, I can't even express how happy I am". And he sounded choked.

He started reading a lot. If not working or pampering MC, he would read various Internet articles regarding pregnancy.

He pampered MC much much more than usual. From bringing her mindful gifts to giving her a fragrant bath or a back massage, he would go that extra mile to make sure she was happy and comfortable. It was almost daily that he brought little gifts for MC when he came home from work, much to her chagrin.

Taki is incredibly mature and that showed in his ability to handle any situation- from MC's mood swings to her cravings.

On those nights when the baby would be extra kicky and render MC sleepless, he would sing to MC's belly and rub it to soothe the baby. It was the most tender version of Taki MC had ever seen.

He had kept all the funds that they would ever require for the baby ready beforehand. He has also secretly kept money in various bank accounts for MC. Not that he'd ever mention this to her because she tends to worry, but this is his precaution to ensure that MC has enough to provide for herself and their baby god forbid something horrible ever happened to him. His biggest fear is not being able to take care of his family and watching them suffer in dangerous situations like he did when young, so he has taken every possible measure to ensure that nothing would ever separate him from them.

He has the best health insurances for himself, MC and also for their coming baby.

He has all big mergers and business deals done before the arrival of the baby so that he wouldn't miss out on the initial few years of it's life. He has everything meticulously planned, it's almost like an OCD for him.

Taki and MC decorated the nursery and baby-proofed the house together. The nursery has several momentos from their journey together from high school uptil that moment, and it is something very sentimental for both of them.

He drove MC to the hospital about 2 days prior to the due date, just to avoid any last minute stress. Whenever MC would feel stressed, he would be there to hug her and make her feel at ease.

He held her shoulders and encouraged her to push when she went into labour. It was difficult for him to see her in pain, but in order to support her, he had to remain composed.

He could barely hold his tears back when he first saw their baby daughter. Her face was more like MC, save for her eyes which were an exact copy of his. One look into her eyes, and he swore that he would do anything and everything in his power to ensure that his family would long for nothing. "MC, she's perfect" he said, looking at his wife in admiration.

The only thing MC does after coming home from the hospital is resting. Taki keeps her away from housework. He also takes care of the baby when MC is asleep. MC admonishes him at times because all that waking up late at night will definitely make him fall asleep on his desk (he did once, and he didn't tell MC this, but she knows better).

He strives to come home early so that he can play with his baby girl. MC loves to see Taki giggling and singing with the baby, and she swears she's never seen anything so adorable.

Taki is yet to get used to the diaper changing and upchucking, but he tries his best. He agrees that MC is so many times better than him at all the baby jobs.

Another reason that he comes home early is to keep the other guys away from his daughter. She doesn't need those immature problematic men with horrible gifting sense.

He's lost count of the number of times he's scolded Yosuke and the others for bringing those extravagant gifts for his daughter, but her 3 more than generous uncles refuse to listen. MC and Taki are confused as to what they are going to do with that mini-Mercedes.

Taki and MC sit together with Sydney and gently introduce her to her new baby sister. Sydney takes her role very seriously- she's even more aggressive towards Yosuke when he comes to see the baby.

Taki death-glared Shun hard when he said that he's going to be baby girl's boyfriend. His annoyance level reached maximum when his daughter giggled back in agreement. MC could barely hold back her laughter.

Taki's lockscreen is a picture of MC with their baby girl in her arms, while MC's lockscreen is a picture of a sleeping Taki with their baby girl sound asleep on his chest.

Yosuke:

Yosuke was really excited but also scared when MC told him she was pregnant. He had a less than pleasant experience with his own family, so he doubted his capabilities as a father.

Although he did not let MC in on it, he had been extremely unsure fir the first few weeks. Did he want a baby? Could he handle that responsibility? But the next moment, he thought about how enriched his life had become since MC, and another little MC wouldn't hurt at all. It was then he firmly decided, he was going to do this, by hook or by crook.

He was very excited, albeit a bit nervous about the first ultrasound. When he saw the tiny little bean- their tiny little bean on the screen, he was filled with an array of emotions all which told him that he dearly wanted this human in his life. That was the day when all of his inhibitions were put to rest.

Since the day MC revealed her pregnancy, Yosuke became extremely protective of her- he personally took care of her meals, even hired a nutritionist and a cook for her, got in the best of doctors and obstetricians and made sure he attended each gynaec visit. MC thought it was fun to see Yosuke so excited (and extra) about something.

He easily gets concerned by morning sickness and MC's mood swings. He cannot handle seeing her crying, he gets panicky and ends up doing weird things. Once when he saw MC crying watching an animal documentary, he went into a panic and came back dressed in a bunny onesie- complete with the whiskers and button nose. He was extremely embarrassed because he had no clue what to do, but that made MC smile so it was worth everything.

He's an compulsive Googler. He Googles practically everything that he is unsure about, and gets antsy when Google doesn't have an answer to his question. Honestly, the last thing he Googled was 'How to raise a baby?' If Google were a person, it would have gotten Yosuke arrested.

When the labour pains first started, he was genuinely more scared than MC herself. His hands were sweaty, and MC, through the pain, had to make sure her husband was okay. Inspite of being panicked, he refused to leave the delivery room so the doctors had to unwillingly keep him.

He watched the entire birth with fearful eyes, ready to collapse anytime with the amount of tension.

Throughout the course of her pregnancy, MC seriously wondered if Yosuke was her eldest forgotten child.

When the doctors handed him their crying daughter, there was an overflow of emotions inside him. He cried, cried a lot- his daughter, wet, kicking and wailing, was the loveliest thing he had ever seen. He couldn't believe this little one was theirs. "Thank you so much MC, I love you baby"

He made sure MC was comfortable in the hospital, and that she had her favourite foods- much to the annoyance of all doctors and nurses.

He spent the first 2 nights awake, looking at his new favourite girl. She had his exact mischievous face and eyes too, but her hair and skin colour matched MC.

SPOILER ALERT: Daddy's baby girl gets whatever she wants, and she isn't even 2 days old yet. He wants to bring her up like a princess, although MC is quite adamant that she doesn't want her daughter growing up to become a spoilt, rich brat. But Yosuke also promised her that he won't let their daughter go the wrong way, and he'll make damn sure of it.

He works from home quite often, so that he can take care of MC and play a lot with the baby. He treats both his girls with utmost care, and gives them all his attention. He does not want either of them feel what he did as a child.

Compulsive photographer. Clicks innumerable baby pictures daily, and most of them look the same, but he wouldn't delete them.

The first time his daughter threw up on him, he was like "Honey, why would you do this to me?" while MC tried hard not to laugh at the scene, making Yosuke pout. She replied, "Don't worry Yosuke, I still love you, even if you're covered in baby vomit"

Yosuke cannot see baby girl crying. The first wail itself is too much for him to take, and her tear streaked little face and desperate cries bring him to his knees.

He won't let the other guys hold her until he's made sure they've had a shower and are clean enough. He won't even let them hold her for more than a minute, and ofcourse Shun or even Taki for that matter, wouldn't listen to that which makes Yosuke really sulky.

When MC once joked about their daughter growing up and getting home a boyfriend just like Yosuke, boy he freakeddddd out. No, she's his baby girl, she doesn't need any other boy in her life except him!

Kiyohito:

When MC revealed the news to him, he teared up. He isn't really an emotional person, so seeing him react that way did worry MC a little bit. But he made it clear that he was happy and those were the happy kind of tears.

For his young age, he was a bit anxious at the aspect of fatherhood. But a mini him-&-MC? He couldn't wait to see that one!

He made sure of being not only physically, but also emotionally available for MC because it was the time for the most drastic changes for her, and he didn't want her to go through that alone. He makes it a point to be more vocal towards MC and tell her how he feels.

He also makes sure he's always there to listen to what MC has to say. He pays utmost attention to all her needs. He insists that MC speak out everything on her mind and he very religiously does the same- fears and inhibitions included. Communication is the key to a healthy pregnancy and relationship and noone knows that better than Kiyo.

He tries to be home early, but if he can't, he calls from time to time to check on MC, if she's had her meals, her vitamins and medications, if she's feeling okay and stuff like that. He has tried to attend as many check-ups as he could.

He always offers MC a soothing body massage whenever she's sore or tired.

He talks to MC's belly a lot. He'll whisper sweet things and rub it affectionately wishing that his baby recognizes him.

He's honestly scared when doctors rushed MC to the delivery room. He could not bear her screams and the nurse had to push him out.

When MC urged him to finally hold their baby girl- her stared at her long and hard, not being able to believe that she was here with them. She was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen besides MC, and she had his exact angelic eyes.

When MC is sent home, Kiyohito usually manages the night duties, and it was then that MC realised: he had a horrible singing voice- it sounded like a constipated alien. But it soothes their daughter nonetheless (that poor baby girl), so MC has never told him that it sucks.

Kiyohito designs many cute onesies, frocks and clothes of a variety of styles for his baby girl. Even at that very tender age, she has a massive closet of her own. MC and Kiyo love dressing her up. He even tries various hairstyles on her baby hair. The other guys find it really adorable and it becomes difficult for Kiyo to get her back once he gives her to them.

He just cannot stand baby poop and vomit. The first time he smelt it, he threw up, no kidding. MC has to do all the dirty work herself.

Kiyohito has hired bodyguards for MC and the baby. He strictly keeps their daughter away from paparazzi. He also keeps her away from his social media. He wants her to have a normal private life. He is also particularly hesitant about his daughter entering into the entertainment or fashion industry because of all the bad politics involved in it.

Kiyo and MC have lost track of the number of diamond studded hairclips their daughter owns, thanks to Yosuke and Shun. And thanks to Taki for getting her that crocodile plush that she really adores. She wouldn't sleep without it and Kiyo is a bit annoyed at the fact that she won't take any of the soft toys he bought for her, to sleep.

Shun:

Shun and MC had been trying for a baby since quite sometime so when MC finally gave him the big news, he was incredibly happy.

He surprisingly cut down on his drinking without being told by anyone. Yosuke teases him a lot about it.

He meticulously tries to adjust his schedule so that he returns home on time for his wife and their new member. He also attends all ultrasound sessions and birthing classes with MC.

Takes MC on a babymoon to some exotic place so that she can relax and unwind.

Is the type to get MC a lot of treats while returning home. He picks up clothes, shoes, food for MC and toys for the baby on an impulse. If he's walking on the street, and he sees something in a shop that he likes, he's sure to bring it home.

He's really romantic towards MC because for the second time in his life, she's made him feel truly alive from the inside.

He wishes that their baby is a girl, because he wants a little girl just like MC. He regularly prays to God for that.

Shun often surprises MC with a bouquet of flowers, a shower of kisses, cuddles, a candlelight dinner or a bubble bath with her favourite bath bombs.

Shun personally gets into the baby-proofing stuff. He does not want to leave any corner of the house untouched.

Just before going to sleep, Shun spends some time on self-introspection and thinks how he can be a better husband and father. Unknown to him, MC hasn't missed the changes in his behaviour and she's thankful to have him in her life.

For all the time he spent carefully managing his schedule, the baby chose to arrive at that exact moment when he wasn't home. Taki, Yosuke and Kiyohito rushed MC to the hospital for an early delivery. Shun at that time was filming the last scene for his last film of the season in another town. So when Taki could finally reach him and tell him about the news, he drove to the hospital as fast as he could. But through the traffic and distance, it took him more than an hour to come. By the time he reached, MC had already delivered their daughter and was tiredly waiting for him.

"Look at our princess Shun, exactly like the one you wanted" MC had barely said the words when he wrapped her in a tight hug and cried to his hearts content. He was happy more than words could express, but also emotional at the aspect of not being able to witness their daughter's birth.

He held his daughter in his arms all night and thanked god for granting his wish. She has taken his dark hair and lip-shape, but the rest of her looks like MC. Once they return home, he has every plan ready to spoil the two of them.

Shun likes to soothe his daughter by playing the piano. When she's fussy, she won't settle for anyone but daddy. Since he's taken a short hiatus from filming, he is almost always at home. He doesn't want to miss anymore of his daughter's milestones.

He's surprisingly a pro at changing diapers, cleaning baby vomit and handling the teething. The other guys were surprised to see him do all the work without even scrunching his nose. They think he must have some sort of superpower.

Shun thinks that the guys are a bad influence for his daughter, and had plans to keep them away from her, but MC told him not to. The baby girl needs to have some entertainment in her life too. It still worries Shun as to what that entertainment might be. He also really hopes that Yosuke doesn't become her favourite uncle.

His daughter is his new muse, his new inspiration. He pens down poems and stories for her and she listens to him with all the attention that she can give at that age- eyes wide, saliva dribbling onto his shirt and hands in her mouth. It is an adorable sight to witness.

Shun has a really good singing voice and it moves MC to tears whenever she sees him singing to their daughter, her head on his chest and her little hand clasped in his- like a protector. His world revolves around his wife and daughter, he's proud of them, for he knows that they're his forever.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~☆~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Link to Masterpost

24. Medical School & Mommyhood

Detemined: A Chasper Fic

Imagine, if you will, Uncle Roscoe - a very sizable man with long locs, singing This Woman's Work, in a true classical Soprano…

all that his niece Charlotte wants to do is rest because she spent hours working as he sings about to push a tiny human out of her body. Her husband, Jasper, an Uncle Roscoe enthusiast and a lover of emotional displays is visibly very emotionally shaken by this lovely gesture as he holds in his arms their small child.

As Charlotte's patience wears thin, Uncle Roscoe's performance gets thicker and when he croons, "Oh Darling, make it go…"

"I'll make YOU go!" She practically shrieks.

Jasper gasps, but rubs the back of her neck, lovingly, “She’s tired, Uncle Rox. That was the most beautiful gift that anybody has given us, since this, the day of our daughter’s birth…” He winced, “Baby’s birth! Baby’s birth!” He said and smiled at winked at Charlotte. 

She had been trying to program him from treating their child like a son or daughter, so whenever the baby finally came out and she realized that they were in that female presenting body, she cried. She knew that meant a harder time for this kid, but Jasper cheered, “I have a daughter!” And, well… That was just gonna mess up the footage, wasn’t it? What if Jasper Jr isn’t a girl? She was very preoccupied with the thought, because now, she felt like Jasper had gotten off of the page of how she wanted to raise kids. How they agreed to raise their kids before she could ever agree to carrying one full term! If he saw Jasper Jr as his “little girl,” he might treat her that way and while Jasper was very progressive in a lot of ways, he still had some of that good old fashioned sexism in his DNA and she just wanted whoever they were to be someone that if the world was gonna put stipulations and limitations on… their parents at least would never.

Jasper held the baby close, most of the time. Charlotte was in a lot of pain and discomfort. She wasn’t the “physical pain” type. She abhorred it and had never handled it well. If Jasper could have switched places with her and took on all of the pain and discomfort, he would have. He didn’t say that to her, because he thought it would seem like a frivolous platitude, but she knew deep down inside that was the kind of person he was. He would do anything for her to not hurt. Whenever he handed Baby Jasper back to her, he went to escort Uncle Roscoe out of the hospital. 

Charlotte looked down at this brown baby person with brown eyes, stretched wide, but unable to focus, the softest and curliest of curls that she had ever seen and a slightly too big onesie that Jasper must’ve put on them when Charlotte was asleep that had “My Daddy loves me more than the WHOLE world!” and a drawing of a heart shaped Earth. “You are this whole world.” Jasper sniffled and Charlotte glanced up. She hadn’t noticed that he was back until then. Maybe he had just returned. He quickly made his way to the bed and rested next to them. “Daddy’s back.”

“So, we didn’t get a chance to fill out their birth certificate. I know that you’ve called them Jasper Jr most of the time, but I didn’t think you’d want that on official paperwork, since Jr. is usually gender specific to boys, and because there’s no way we’re giving them my middle name, even if you’ve rebranded it.” They laughed.

“No. I don’t want them to be your junior, not because of the history of junior, but because of your middle name. I was thinking, though. Whenever I rebranded your middle name, which, may I say is such an EXTRA description of what I actually did…”

“You stated that my middle name was a prophecy because I’m so determined. That was brilliant and beautiful. I wish we were in love when it happened so I could make love to you for how awesome that was…”

“It got me thinking!” She cut him off. This soon after labor, the LAST thing she wanted to think about was making love. “The word “determined.” Because yours was an uncertain usage. To be determined is so tentative and unstable, unless it’s a declaration of this version of you. Look at what you’ve done with yourself over the years. Only a determined person could do that and I know that your middle name wasn’t actually a name, but a placeholder, but we don’t need any placeholder. We can just give them a name. And, I can’t think of one more fitting and accurate than something that I think of every time that I look at you… Determined.”

“Determined?” He repeated.

“Several cultures name children things that are attributes or wishes or descriptions. Even some of the names that they name their children translates into characteristics when you put them in their original form. We speak English, so Determined. BUT… If you just hate it, I can go for a name that translates to it, like Erimentha or Ernest… Ernesta… etc…”

“No. No. Those are hideous. Anyway, I love it. I just… I keep thinking that it isn’t possible for me to have more joy, but then, I keep finding more, or… it keeps finding me. If someone had told me at 16 that I would have a family, an amazing wife who is out of my league in like every way, but loves me just like she’s in my league, and a beautiful baby that looks just like her and door after door of opportunity to thrive in my career and take care of them… I just… I would have thought it was make believe. I’m living a dream.” He wrapped his arms around Charlotte and rested on her shoulder. “Jasper Determined Dunlop.”

“We can call them “Jazz,” just to make it a little less convoluted when speaking at home,” she suggested. “They look like a Jazz.”

“They look like a Charlotte,” he said and booped her nose.

.

Medical school was NOT a brilliant idea for a new mother, but Charlotte was always a hardworking person, so she figured that she could handle this. Whenever it seemed to get really hard, Jasper would always say, “You know, you can quit, whenever you want.” But, that would have the opposite effect. She pushed harder. No, she couldn’t quit whenever she wanted to! In addition to that being the opposite of what she wanted to do, it would be too much like what she knew Jasper wanted her to do. He wanted her to stay at home with the kids whenever he wasn’t able to. Speaking of… Shortly after Charlotte got her entry into medical school, she also got pregnant, again. 

What could she say? Surely, old her would have planned for and against this, but mommy her, busy with Jazz, medical school, etc took the time that she could whenever she got with her husband to enjoy it and she hadn’t been as meticulous as you might expect! So, she had two babies, less than a year apart and was going to medical school during her second pregnancy.

Jasper wanted her to take a break. It was too much, he’d say. Nobody should put themselves through all of this bodily and mental strain, if they didn’t have to and she didn’t have to. They were more than comfortable without her having a doctorate, and the girls were having so many moments that she was missing out on! “The kids,” she corrected him. “Until they say otherwise…”

“Well, you’re never home to implement that,” he said, sulking. She threw him a glare. He sighed and said, “I don’t slip up, much. But, nobody knows a boy named Amber, so it’s harder to keep up with it with her than with Jazz.”

“With them!” They both said at the same time, correcting him. 

Charlotte sighed. “I can’t take a break. I took a break from work when I had Jazz. I took a break from medical school when I had Amber.”

“Hardly!”

“It affected me!” She squealed, collected her things and stormed out of the room. Jasper wiped his face and looked over at the two small children. The toddler with a full head of wild curls, trying to give a ball to the baby in the walker, with equally as curly hair, but not as much of it. Amber accepted the ball and immediately tried to stuff it into their mouth. Jasper told himself that it had been rolling on the floor, but if he snatched it away, they were definitely gonna cry. He didn’t need to upset another one of his loves tonight. He just wished that Charlotte could realize what she was missing out on whenever she wasn’t around. What he couldn’t put into words… the bonds being formed in her absence… They were supposed to be doing all of this together.

Several times, Jasper would make plans for the entire family at times when she didn’t have “anything pressing” coming up, but by the time it was time for the plans, she would either be so tired that she told him to just go without her, or he would cancel, seeing that she was tired, which generally resulted in her fussing very grouchily about why he cancelled when he knew that she would be trying to sleep. Or better yet, why even be on this side of the house when the house that they bought was huge? “I THOUGHT that even though you’re tired that you might want to at least TRY to pretend that our children exist!”  he snapped back once. She was angered to full awakeness. He regretted letting that accusation slip out. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to say that.”

“You said it. So, you meant it,” she commented, clearly angry.

“No. I don’t know where that came from. Some dark and wrong part of me. I don’t feel that way…”

“And the thing that perplexes me about you saying that is that I wasn’t even really ready to start having children. I was going through things at my workplace and I was desperate and vulnerable, and you convinced me that I could do whatever I wanted to do and began to put the pressure on me to begin having children.”

“That’s not exactly how I remember…”

“So, in my emotionally distressed state, I came to the decision that if I did have a baby and transition away from that lab, Jasper will have my back!”

“I do… Char…” He sounded desperate, but she was not finished.

“SO, I did have a baby and I did transition away from the lab and I entered medical school to further my career, and in between, I went to networking luncheons, dog tired, with a small infant and sometimes two dogs and I smiled and socialized - two things I don’t even really like doing that much - with your clients, to support your career change that you SPRUNG on us suddenly one day then dived head first into it with my complete and utter support, because I knew that you hated your job and wanted to do something else. Granted, there were no children at the time, but if there were, I would never address you the way that you just came at me.”

“If the kids were born, I wouldn’t have made such a rash decision!” He said.

“So… only the kids’ feelings matter? They don’t even know what’s going on. I had to just tell myself to stay out of your way while you sorted something out to bring you joy and when I do the same thing, kids or not, I expect the same respect. It isn’t like I never see them! It isn’t like I abandoned them. A lot of women are career women. Some of them out there doing it by themselves. I take the time that I take because I know that the two children that I grew inside of my body, painfully ushered into this world, and in exhaustion and dedication fed on my own two teets, are in safe hands, because I’ve trusted myself in those very same hands for many years before I ever even decided to make the sacrifices that I made to my career trajectory and to my body to have them. So. You. Saying. Such. A. Thing. To. Me???” Her shoulders slumped. Her anger had been released and replaced by hurt and sadness. “Fuck you, Jasper.” She whispered, started crying and left the room.

“Baby!” he called and pulled two handfuls of his own hair. How could he? How could he have sank so low as to say something like that to her? They didn’t argue a lot, not over really serious stuff, so maybe he just reverted to the only kinds of arguments he was used to - the way he and his mom would speak at each other’s flaws instead of talking out their problems. Charlotte definitely didn’t deserve that, especially when they hadn’t really discussed this concern of his in any real way. So, it was not only out of nowhere to her, but he could only imagine how extremely hurtful that must’ve been. She was supposed to be able to trust him with her feelings, with her heart, with the truth. He did feel like she didn’t spend enough time with the kids, but that wasn’t the way to say it, and while she’s tired and sleepy and… “Fuck!” he hissed at himself.

“Fuck!” Jazz repeated. He gasped and rushed over to where they were playing with the ladybug hockey set that Pansy bought.

“No, no, no… Don’t say that J.”

They giggled and repeated, “Fuck!” Daddy’s excitement face was hilarious to them and they realized that the key to getting it was to say whatever “Fuck” was. Jasper sat on the floor and covered his face. He was really not doing a good job today. Jazz pulled his hands from over his face and laughed, “Fuck.” He could only laugh now too, at this point. Amber was crawling to the puck. They were gonna try to eat it. That was all they did. Poop their diaper and try to eat everything but what was served to them as food. He snatched them away just in time. 

Charlotte came out of the bedroom, having been crying for a while, ready to face Jasper again and smooth over whatever happened, because even though she felt attacked and was going to be hurting for a while, she knew that Jasper would never say something just to hurt her, so that was obviously how he felt and they needed to come up with a solution for it. Because, she was not going to tolerate another low blow like that in the future. 

Jasper had started on dinner. Jazz was “helping” and Amber Reign was already in the highchair, with an empty plastic bowl and spoon to hold them over. The moment they saw Charlotte, they began to kick their legs happily and try to get out of the seat, so she went to collect them. Jasper glanced over and just seeing her was overcome with guilt again. Jazz went over too and began to tell their mom a story that Charlotte understood almost perfectly, despite the fact that none of it was in real words that adults could just understand. Jasper could sometimes detect a few sprinkled in, but he didn’t have that gift that Charlotte tended to have where she pretty much got all of what this kid was telling her. 

He came over and said, “Char, about earlier…”

“Please don’t taint what little time I spend with my children with any of that. We can get into it later.” She said it with a smile, as to not alarm the children, but he saw her eyes, how sad they were and the flecs of anger whenever he spoke. After dinner, which was weird because they rarely got dinner together as a family and whenever they did, usually Jasper and Charlotte were catching up like besties and sprinkling the children in. Jasper was silent. He didn’t want to say anything. Charlotte was talking with the kids. Helping Amber with the spoon and Jazz to pronounce things a little bit better. But, afterwards, Charlotte said, “I’ll get the kids cleaned up. You got the table?”

He just nodded. He was… simply depressed that he had done this to his home. He had invited in something ugly and something he never wanted to bring from his first family to this one. She sighed, collected Amber, kissed him on the cheek and took Jazz’s hand. “You kids are filthy! Who taught you two how to eat?” She joked around. Jasper was grateful for that pity kiss on the cheek, but he wasn’t gonna forgive himself any time soon.

He cleaned up the kitchen and went into the bedroom. Charlotte had already went to sleep. Probably couldn’t sleep earlier after he’d upset her. He didn’t know if he should get into bed or go to the couch. There was a pullout wall bed in Jazz’s room and a cot in Amber’s nursery. He could crash in either, but that might confuse the kids. They only used those whenever the kids were scared or sick or sleep eluded them for some other reason. Not for selfish dads who say hurtful things to their wives when frustrated. She stirred and gasped when she saw him standing there. “My god, Jasper! What’re you doing?”

“Trying to figure out if I should get into bed or not. Didn’t mean to wake you.” He sat on the bed, and didn’t move. He felt her arms wrap behind him from behind and her head rest on his back. “I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have…”

“Let me talk first, okay?” He nodded. “Okay. I’ve had a rough time in medical school. I had a rough time prior to that. Before, whenever I had a rough time, I’d come home and vent and fuss and cry and you were always there for me. Today, I wanted to sleep. That’s all I wanted, and I kept hearing Amber screaming every time you took something from them. Jazz talking nonstop. And, that’s what they should be doing. They’re kids. Kids are noisy creatures. I should have just came and asked, “Hey. Think you could maybe take them on a day trip or something. I really want to sleep.” Instead, I came in fussing and I really shouldn’t have spoken to you that way, especially in front of them. So, it wasn’t like I came home and wanted to go to sleep and you went off on me. I probably triggered something. I probably made you feel some type of way. But, Jasper… even though I am holding myself accountable for my part in that argument…” Her voice cracked. “You can’t say things that hurtful to me. Okay? Because… I can’t handle it. If you had fussed back and told me not to talk to you that way, I’d have been mad, maybe. I’m cranky and tired, so I probably wouldn’t have been super rational. But, what you said…”

“It wasn’t fair. I’m sorry.” He turned to hold her. “I don’t know why I would say something like that. I promise, all I ever speak about is how great of a mom you are. Because, you are, Char. You’ve put Amber in a pouch while you’ve studied for midterms. You’ve let Jazz think they were helping you study by lowkey going over anatomy notes with them. I just had an image in my head that when we started a family, it would be perfect. That’s on me. Nothing’s perfect, but you’re always wonderful and you spend as much time as humanly possible with them. That was… so shitty of me.” He sniffled. “And I accidentally taught Jazz the word “Fuck.” Charlotte accidentally started laughing at that portion of the confession and he squealed, “They keep on saying it and I can’t stop them!”

“I’m sure they’ll survive, F Sized.”

He squeezed her. “I’m still that?”

“Hurting my feelings one time doesn’t make me stop loving you, but you’d better be really careful in the future. I wanted to punch you in the face.” He allowed himself a little laugh.

“It wouldn’t hurt. You have miserable upper body strength.”

“Nu uhn. I’ve had to work on it because I have to be able to help move those body dummies!”

“Okay, but that won’t make your punches harder, necessarily.”

“You wanna test it out?” she jokingly threatened. 

“I wanna hold my wife.”

“Okay. But, I’m gonna lay down and actually finally get some sleep.”

“Yes, that’s good. You deserve it.” She laid back down and Jasper wrapped himself around her, crying softly. She knew that she couldn’t say anything more to help him accept that sometimes, even he’ll make mistakes. She hated it though. She hadn’t heard him crying in a really long time. She turned to wipe his face, as needed and did so until the sleep took over her. He didn’t know if her graciousness made him feel better, or worse. 

.

Her last year of medical school, Charlotte got pregnant again. Jazz was a 4 year old wild child, Amber a 2year old TOTAL princess, and this July baby that she would have, she DESPERATELY wanted not to be a Leo like their father. She loved him and everything, but did she need two personalities like that? Whenever she already had a restless Aries child and a Sagittarius drama queen. Being an Earth sign surrounded by all this fire was enough for Charlotte! “So… You want them to be a Cancer?” Jasper asked and rolled his eyes. “I can tell you right now, you don’t want to deal with the emotional habits of a cancer on a daily basis. You hate dealing with emotions.”

“I… don’t hate dealing with emotions. And we aren’t talking about some person in a mommy group. We’re talking about my kids. I’d deal with whatever.”

“I’m rooting for a Leo,” he said flat out.

“These birthdays are so close together!” She complained. “Mine and Jazz’s. Henry’s and Amber’s. Now yours and Ruby’s.”

“I like it. We’re all birthstone buddies. I was so stoked to find out that even though technically Jasper isn’t Jazz’s birthstone, it’s the planetary stone of Aries. That was awesomely cool accidental serendipity.”

“You don’t have to say accidental in front of serendipity.” He rolled his eyes. She could stomp him in science and math, but she didn’t want any of him in Language Arts. “I’m worried.”

“About what?” 

“That after medical school nearly tore our marriage apart that I might not even be able to use it.”

“Both of those observations are ridiculous.”

“I’m going to have to take a maternity leave when I should be in my internship. Which means that I will have to probably postpone it and seeing that, who will want me, Dude? It’s like the world ONLY wants child producing humans to do that.”

“The country, maybe. A lot of other places have better opportunities and situations when it comes to maternity politics. You wanna move somewhere?”

She laughed, “WHERE? What country would I want to just try to move to, knowing nothing of their language, society, etc, because of a maternity leave situation?”

“I didn’t consider all of those things when I suggested it.” Charlotte laughed and leaned in to give him a kiss, to which, of course, he responded, fully engaged.

Jazz came into the room and folded her arms, “You two kissing in the mouth in here?”

“Mind ya business!” Charlotte said back.

“Y’all nasty,” Jazz commented and left.

“I feel like that couldn’t have been the reason they came in here,” Charlotte observed.

“They are bad at focusing, just like their daddy. I’m gonna go check things out.” he was gone for about 30 seconds whenever he shouted, “OH MY GOD, AMBER!” Charlotte jumped up and went to see what that meant. Amber had a yellow power wheels convertible that Jasper had specifically done that way because all of the ones that he could find were pink or purple, and neither were colors that they liked, despite often selecting “girl things”themselves… and they had just covered it in painted handprints. 

“How did they get paint?” Charlotte wondered. 

Jazz said, “I got my ladder chair.”

Charlotte noticed the rolling steps that Jasper sometimes used for housework and she stared at him. “I thought I put those away.” He grabbed the rolling steps and Charlotte grabbed the paints. “Well, they’ve got an even more custom car now,” he said, with a laugh. 

“No more fire signs. No more fire signs…” Charlotte cooed, picking up the toddler who was wearing a Belle gown from Beauty and the Beast - their favorite Disney Princess, so she could clean the paint off of them before it got worse. 

“You left the paint, Mom!” Jazz commented, even though they were the one that even got it down for Amber in the first place. 

“No more fire signs. No more fire signs.”

Eight Months Later…

“Another fire sign!” Jasper cheered. This dude was about to have a mini Leo in the house, like all of their children weren’t already just various incarnations of mini Jaspers. Uncle Roscoe came to the hospital with a boombox and Charlotte already knew that she wasn’t in the mood. He and Jack Leigh had given them a “blues version” of Amber by 311 whenever Amber was born and while Charlotte wanted to ban both of them from the hospital any time she had a baby, this was apparently something that Jasper felt was a good tradition. These songs. She wondered what she was about to have to endure with this infant latched on to her person to feed. Her uncle pressed play. Fire, by the Ohio Players. She put in the earplugs that she had brought in preparation for Uncle Roscoe’s tribute and went to sleep. Ruby anxiously looked around to find the source of the music, but wasn’t about to let go of their lifeline to milk, either.

Chloé & James

Chloé: You were SO unreceptive at dinner Chloé: more than usual Chloé: your sister is now talking to ME, asking what's wrong James: tell her to forward it to me Chloé: It isn't a business email Chloé: I'm your WIFE Chloé: I should know what's going on in your life but you never tell me anything James: & yet it'll end up in my father's hands regardless Chloé: Oh how dreadful that your loved ones are concerned about you James: they aren't concerned, Chloé James: simply in need of dinner entertainment James: it's as good an icebreaker as anything else, that's all Chloé: How dare you Chloé: I'm very concerned that you won't tell me Chloé: That always been great things, yeah? James: Matilda's crying can you go and be concerned about her, please? Chloé: Trying to change the subject and call me a bad Mum Chloé: Thanks so much, James James: I'm just asking you to check the baby is okay Chloé: She's a baby, they cry Chloé: and you don't know what I'm doing as well as trying to communicate with you James: I know you're not brushing Jay's hair because I am Chloé: Good Chloé: that doesn't change the fact we need to talk Chloé: or you need to talk to your sister and CONVINCE her you're fine Chloé: you make me look bad too when you do this James: I'll call her as soon as I get the chance Chloé: Yes, thank you Chloé: Can you plait her hair, please Chloé: I want it in ringlets for school James: you know she prefers to wear it loose, your punishments are getting more creative Chloé: IT IS NOT A PUNISHMENT Chloé: Don't be morbid Chloé: it looks scruffy loose James: well, if you'd agree to letting her have it cut, that wouldn't be a problem Chloé: So she can look like a little boy Chloé: I'm saving her the future embarrassment of looking back on awful photos James: okay James: I'm sure she'll thank you then if not me right now for these plaits James: would you like them french? Chloé: I'm looking after the baby, I can't be in two places at once Chloé: and no, lots of little ones James: but if I do them as two neat ones they can stay in Chloé: I don't WANT them to stay in Chloé: when you take it out in the morning she'll have lots of curls Chloé: [sends reference pics like he's an idiot] James: fine Chloé: Thank you James: do you know where all her school socks have gone? Chloé: Ugh, no idea Chloé: My Mother needs to bring some laundry back I think Chloé: she'll have to wear tights James: she'll be upset enough about the curls Chloé: I can't magic socks out of thin air! James: no, but you could call your mother while I call my sister Chloé: Please get a grip, James Chloé: I'm not chasing up socks at this o'clock the night before School Chloé: she'll have to deal, you spoil her James: she'll make herself sick, Chloé, you know the state she gets herself worked up into James: & it's me who'll have to deal with that Chloé: She's not a baby Chloé: she needs to learn Chloé: She's jealous of Tilly James: I'm well aware of her age, she's only 6 Chloé: Old enough to put tights on and suck it up James: I'm not having this fight with you again Chloé: Then you do something about it James: I will Chloé: 👏 James: I'm going to your mother's, do you need anything else? Chloé: She'll tell you James: please put Matty in her car seat for me Chloé: Why? James: because the drive will put her to sleep James: I can't be up with her all night Chloé: Okay Chloé: hang on Chloé: [is ages] James: Chloé James: I don't have time for this Chloé: Excuse me Chloé: You think you're the only person doing things? James: my thoughts are currently taken up with asking myself why it is you're incapable of doing one simple thing that I ask you to James: are you that mad at me for my supposed behaviour at dinner? Chloé: Well now I'm mad at you for the way you're speaking to me Chloé: [throws child at him] James: however you feel, don't take it out on our children Chloé: You upset me and then I'm the bad guy Chloé: Sounds about right James: I'm sorry if you're upset but I fail to see what I've actually done wrong James: at any point this evening Chloé: You could barely hold a conversation Chloé: with YOUR family Chloé: it was mortifying James: because I've been working for them non-stop James: & because I can't have so much as a single glass of anything alcoholic without my sister believing that I need to go back to rehab Chloé: Exactly Chloé: You've already proven yourself as weak in that capacity Chloé: Of course they're going to think that whenever you're behaving odd Chloé: I know better but that's not a happier picture to paint James: you'd rather they think I've relapsed than tell them the truth? Chloé: You tell me, James Chloé: Because I don't think I know the truth right now, do I James: what gory details are you hoping I'll divulge exactly? Chloé: Your actual addiction Chloé: Don't play dumb James: I'm a recovering drug addict, that's all James: if that disappoints you, I'm really sorry Chloé: If you were sorry you'd be a faithful, loving husband to me Chloé: I'm sorry you aren't having a spa retreat because you can't keep it in your pants James: like you were so apologetic when you had sex with that guy last time you were at the spa? Chloé: You make me feel terrible about myself Chloé: you don't pay me any attention Chloé: of course I have to go somewhere else Chloé: I'm a woman, I need to feel loved James: sometimes you deserve to feel terrible about yourself Chloé: How could you say that? Chloé: I gave you your kids James: & they'll always be the best thing that ever happened to me James: this isn't Chloé: Then act like it Chloé: it's a package deal, a family Chloé: treat me with the respect I deserve James: I do act like it James: there's no more I can physically or emotionally do Chloé: Well it's not good enough Chloé: I need you Chloé: When's the last time you came near me James: you know when Chloé: Yeah, when you want another kid, I'll get a look-in, okay Chloé: I'm a person too, you know James: it wasn't me who wanted another child Chloé: So now it's my fault Chloé: and Tilly's a mistake Chloé: Wow James: if it makes you feel better to twist every single word that comes out of my mouth James: I love her, you know I do Chloé: You know I won't have you around them if you are going to say things like that Chloé: I have to protect them James: you can't protect them with lies Chloé: You just said you didn't want her! Chloé: and we know Jay's situation is far from ideal James: I didn't want to bring another child into this, no sane person would Chloé: They have everything Chloé: Including a good dad, when you're not going around fucking every whore in sight James: I don't do that any more Chloé: I know you do, you're different Chloé: I know Chloé: I'd rather you were on the blow James: how can you say that Chloé: Everyone still does it Chloé: You just have to take it too far Chloé: Handle your shit like a man, why can't you James: you don't understand, you never fucking have Chloé: You don't wanna admit I have a point, more like James: there are things I'd rather not admit, that's not one of them Chloé: Don't taunt me Chloé: You know when I find out who she is Chloé: I will let everyone know what she is James: there's nobody to find out about James: all of that is over Chloé: you have to be getting it somewhere Chloé: it's not from me James: I told you, I'm not a sex addict Chloé: How can I believe anything you say, James? Chloé: That's the problem James: the problem is, you'd prefer to label me as a sex addict who fucks whores than admit what the actual problem is Chloé: The problem is you Chloé: you don't treat me how you should Chloé: Leave the baby with my Mother James: yes, but not just me, you've never treated me right either James: & no, I'm not going to do that Chloé: I'm not going to be in any state to look after her tomorrow Chloé: Not now Chloé: I'm going to bed, the sofa has your name all over it Chloé: or your whore's, I don't care anymore James: that's barely a threat James: I'll look after her, as I would on a typical day Chloé: University is over, James Chloé: You'll be working full-time now Chloé: You can't turn my own daughters against me James: I'll take her to work with me or I won't go in, nothing is as difficult as you'd like to make it Chloé: Sure, you can explain to your Father why you've got her Chloé: and how you treat me whilst you're at it James: he's well aware of everything I do for you & our family Chloé: Ha! James: we can't go on like this, Chloé Chloé: Goodnight James: you wanted to talk Chloé: And you've made me cry Chloé: Goodnight James: please Chloé: Unless you're apologizing I have no interest in whatever you think you need to say James: I'm sorry I made you cry Chloé: Yes, you should be James: I don't want things to get as bad as they were before Matty, okay? Chloé: You know how to make it better James: no I don't Chloé: Show me you're sorry James: what does that even mean? Chloé: For God's sake, James! Chloé: You weren't an actual virgin when we got together, why are you like this Chloé: it means presents and meals and trips and showing me off James: why do you think that'll make anything better? James: the only person that benefits is you Chloé: You are so selfish James: I honestly wish I could be Chloé: You should have thought about that James: of course I should've James: but I wasn't thinking then Chloé: You have responsibilities Chloé: as a Father AND as a Husband Chloé: and you neglect me and I'm sick of it James: you're sick of it Chloé: And what is that supposed to mean? James: it means what the fuck am I if not sick of it too! Chloé: Well, it's tough, like I said! Chloé: You're my Husband and the Father of my kids and that's the end of it James: I'm taking Matty & Jay & we're going to my parents Chloé: No you are not Chloé: You don't get to take them anywhere Chloé: not away from me James: I'm their dad James: & you said yourself that you're not going to be able to look after them tomorrow Chloé: You aren't taking Jay anywhere Chloé: leave Tilly with my parents Chloé: if you take them, I swear I'll call the police James: I'm not leaving her with you James: not when you're like this Chloé: I'm trying to go to bed! Chloé: You come home Chloé: now James: you're trying to proposition me James: I'm not coming home to that Chloé: I said you're sleeping on the sofa, how could you possibly get that from that? Chloé: I've long since given up on you in that department, as we both know James: explain Matilda then Chloé: She's a bloody year old Chloé: You think I've not had sex in a year? Chloé: and I know you have so don't try to make me feel bad Chloé: maybe if you didn't get it other places, we could have a normal sex life but that's never gonna happen, is it James: we've never had a normal sex life, Chloé Chloé: Cecily and Marc do it every night Chloé: and they've been together ages now James: I'm so happy for them James: but that's never going to be us Chloé: Why are you so shit Chloé: at everything Chloé: I don't get anything James: what more do you want from me? Chloé: That's such a ridiculous question Chloé: I want us to be a happy family, like I have to put on the brave face and pretend to the world we are Chloé: You know this James: yes, it is, because you've got everything that I am capable of giving you James: we're not a happy family, let me go Chloé: No Chloé: You're the Father of my Children Chloé: you're all I've got Chloé: we have to make the best of it James: you don't love me James: don't you want to be in love? Chloé: I want you to love me James: no, you don't James: you want me to do as I'm told James: I'm not a child or a dog Chloé: Why don't you love me? James: because James: I don't even like you Chloé: You're killing me James: we're killing each other James: let me go Chloé: I can't James: I can't do this any more Chloé: We have to Chloé: there's no out James: of course there is, marriages end Chloé: No Chloé: I can't do it alone and I won't Chloé: you know I won't James: you wouldn't be James: I'm not leaving the kids Chloé: Stop Chloé: You aren't leaving anyone James: Chloé Chloé: You aren't Chloé: I will not be divorced James: you can't force my hand forever Chloé: but I can Chloé: I'm the Mum and you know the courts would favour me Chloé: there's nothing you can do about that James: I've still got rights Chloé: Try it Chloé: I can assure you, you'll never see them again James: don't say that Chloé: No, I mean it Chloé: You are not leaving me James: you can't stop me from seeing them, I'm not unfit Chloé: I will Chloé: there's so much I could use against you James: it's been years since I touched drugs James: & everything else I've done, you have too Chloé: If you're willing to risk it Chloé: shows how much they mean James: you know how much they mean to me Chloé: Then stay Chloé: Be a Father James: I am a father Chloé: Not if you leave Chloé: I'll make sure of that James: I told you, I'm not leaving them James: but I can't be with you Chloé: You have to be Chloé: they're mine Chloé: and I'm not being used as a babymaking factory and then discarded James: that's not what happened Chloé: yes it is Chloé: you don't love me and you never have Chloé: you don't even like me James: but I didn't set out to use you Chloé: You made promises Chloé: legally binding ones Chloé: I will ruin you James: I know I did Chloé: Every penny you earn will be mine Chloé: You can't get rid of me, so stay James: I don't care about the money, you can have it Chloé: You don't care about anyone but yourself James: that's not true James: you said I was a good father Chloé: I don't think that now Chloé: you're playing with their lives James: I'm trying to make their lives better Chloé: Why don't you murder me Chloé: you want me out of the way James: stop it Chloé: No James: you're their mum, they need you too Chloé: No one needs me Chloé: and no one wants me Chloé: not even you James: they both do Chloé: you've poisoned them Chloé: Tilly can barely crawl and she already prefers you James: I spend more time with her, that's all James: don't keep giving her to your mother Chloé: Don't tell me what to do Chloé: I try! Chloé: See, you're poison Chloé: they'll never love me James: Chloé Chloé: Leave me alone Chloé: you've ruined my life James: I'm sorry James: I never wanted things to be like this Chloé: Do you think that's good enough? Chloé: You all ruined my life Chloé: I'm everyone's last choice James: you have to take some responsibility Chloé: This is your fault Chloé: you and your fucking friends Chloé: I tried, so much harder than any other girl, to be what you wanted Chloé: and you all just threw it in my fucking face James: this isn't what anybody wants Chloé: Fuck you Chloé: you've said enough Chloé: I know I'm the fattest and the ugliest but I can't help that James: you're not James: it's not about what you look like Chloé: It always is Chloé: McKenna would rather fuck his own flesh and blood just because she's hot James: he's got nothing to do with why we aren't right for each other Chloé: You're all the same Chloé: if it weren't you it'd be one of the others Chloé: you're all horrible James: I am horrible, but so are you Chloé: I'm miserable Chloé: everyone hates me James: you don't have to be James: miserable or hated Chloé: Yes I do Chloé: I've never been anything but Chloé: people pretend to like me Chloé: for a while James: you don't have to have Diana drive you to rehab in order to make changes James: it's not the only way Chloé: I hate my life Chloé: I don't even like the girls James: you don't mean that Chloé: Yes, I do Chloé: at best, I feel nothing Chloé: most of the time there another thing in my life that refuses to go right James: you just need help Chloé: I didn't want them Chloé: I didn't want you Chloé: none of this is right James: so we'll change it Chloé: No Chloé: I don't have the energy Chloé: What I want, I can't have Chloé: so neither can you James: please James: I can help you Chloé: Don't make me laugh Chloé: I want to go away and start again and be another person Chloé: I'll be so so slim and beautiful and everything I say and do will be cool and funny and right and everyone will love me and I'll find someone who worships me James: neither of us get that luxury James: Jay and Matilda exist James: you & me exist as we are, with all our mistakes Chloé: Oh I'm sorry, who got to piss off to rehab like they were some kind of celebrity Chloé: I'm going James: it wasn't like that Chloé: Whatever Chloé: you left James: I had to James: for everyone's sake James: you think I'm useless as I am now, who I was then would be worse Chloé: at least we had fun Chloé: I'm so bored Chloé: this is all so boring James: did we? Chloé: I did Chloé: Who wouldn't rather be at a party doing lines than staring at a fucking baby all day Chloé: changing shitty nappies and feeding it slop James: you didn't have to keep her James: you decided to Chloé: I was 15 Chloé: what the fuck did I know Chloé: who the fuck decided I could make that decision Chloé: it was wrong and I've lived to regret it that's for fucking sure James: you weren't 15 when you decided to do it all again Chloé: You were leaving then too James: how many children do you think will make me stay? Chloé: Only needed the one James: you can't treat people like this James: it's fucked Chloé: If I don't get to be happy Chloé: you don't either Chloé: someone else had to feel it too Chloé: not get happy endings they didn't fucking deserve Chloé: not over me James: our daughters deserve to be happy Chloé: you make them happy James: I try Chloé: you do Chloé: so don't leave them James: I won't Chloé: Good Chloé: come back yeah James: are you going to try too? Chloé: I do James: I mean it, Chloé Chloé: I just told you how hard I try Chloé: listen to me, for fuck's sake James: it's hard to hear, but I am Chloé: Try living it James: okay James: I'll be right next to you living it Chloé: I'm going to bed now Chloé: do not let them wake me James: wait until I get back at least Chloé: why James: because we need to do things differently somehow Chloé: its far too late for that Chloé: I've never loved you either Chloé: you can stay and you can know that Chloé: anyway, i took some sleeping pills Chloé: I'll be out James: how many? Chloé: enough to keep me asleep 'til you're all out of my sight tomorrow James: you understand what I'm asking Chloé: calm down, i wanna feel good not die Chloé: she's watching tv James: I'm coming back now Chloé: yep Chloé: you are

01/BASICS 

Full Name: Olivia Anjali Finch Nickname: Liv, but she hates it when people who don’t know her well use it. Birthday: August 30th Gender: Cis Female Sexual Orientation: Bisexual—though she doesn’t feel confident about it yet, and isn’t really out.  Astrological Sign: Virgo (Virgo I, The Week of System Builders). Pisces Moon.  Spoken Languages: English Birthplace: She counts Concord, New Hampshire as her hometown, because it was where she settled and where she went to school. But she was born in Denver when her father was playing with the Grizzlies. He was traded to another team when she was less than a year old, so she has no memory of it.  Relationship Status: Single

TRIGGER WARNINGS: references to addiction, sexual assault

02/PHYSICAL TRAITS

Hair Color/Style: Brown and slightly wavy. For most of her life she wore it long, either in a ponytail or braids, but she impulsively cut it to her chin at home over the summer, after she signed with the Foxes and was sick of seeing the Penn State Olivia in the mirror looking back at her.  Eye Color: Brown Face Claim: Naomi Scott Height: 5’6” Tattoos: None Piercings: Just her ears Unique Attributes: Her hair is a little too short now to tie back neatly without strands escaping in the front, so she’s constantly pushing it out of her face. 

03/PERSONALITY TRAITS/TYPES

Positive Traits: Dedicated, loyal, analytic, practical, tough Negative Traits: Emotionally unaware, inflexible, critical, naive Hobbies/Interests: Exy is the only hobby she’s really ever had. It’s the point of connection she has with her father—the only point of connection she’s ever had with him—and she’s devoted everything to it. To be good at Exy, he told her, meant sacrifice, and so she willingly sacrificed almost everything to focus on it, to make him proud: her friends were her teammates, and she didn’t have many at all outside of them; and while they might have partied after games or on off days, she didn’t really partake in it. She’d never been drunk until Penn State. Outside of her focus on her own teams, her own games, she is a keen follower of professional Exy. She grew up with it, as her father moved between teams in her youth, and she’s never stopped following it. Long after her father was out of professional Exy, she could still watch games and see familiar faces on the court or behind the bench, people who her father had played with for a year or less, people whose kids she’d been friends with once upon a time. She has an almost encyclopedic knowledge of teams, players, coaches, and stats, and spends a lot of her free time watching games.  Major/Minor: Business Administration Insecurities: Everything that happened at Penn State. That she didn’t see it for what it was sooner: she’d been on teams in the past that were dominated by boys, by crude comments and locker room talk. She didn’t think anything of it. She was proud of the way she fit into that world, of her thick skin and her ability to hang with the boys. At Penn State, she thought that they were playing by the same rules: the despite everything, all the taunts and the remarks, that she was one of them, that they were a team. She didn’t see until it was too late that they weren’t. Going to college, she’d been nervous: walking onto a court without her father as her coach felt like going onto the court with something as vital as a racquet. But a part of her had been excited, too: she’d been so focused at home, but now that she’d made her way onto a Big Three team—even if it wasn’t the Big Three team she was supposed to be on—and away from her father’s watchful gaze, couldn’t she let loose a little bit? She thinks of the way she was her freshman year: drunk and hanging off of Zia, not seeing the danger that lurked all around her, not seeing all the ways that Zia was protecting her, and she doesn’t feel sorry for that girl, she hates her. She had been so stupid. 

And then everything that happened after Zia left. That Olivia didn’t go with her. That Olivia stood up in front of the press and said the words they put in her mouth—My teammates have been nothing but supportive of me, I love being a Lion—as good as called Zia a liar. That she wasn’t brave, that she was weak. Her father always told her that, to be great at Exy, you had to sacrifice for Exy. And, even though they never talked about it, she knew that he wasn’t just saying that. He had sacrificed for Exy, given up something essential to Edgar Allan in return for the promise of greatness and a professional career, only he never really got what he was promised, and he never got what he gave up back. Olivia was supposed to be his do-over, Olivia was supposed to be the one to make it. Olivia was supposed to be strong enough to do what she needed to do, to sacrifice what she had to, and come out the other side triumphant. She told herself that she could handle Penn State, that if she could make it through five years she’d have her entire life ahead of her, but in the end she was just like her father. She couldn’t take it. She cracked. All she wanted to do was play Exy, was cling to those times when they were on the court and they were winning and they felt like the team she had imagined them to be, but she couldn’t even do that. Her game suffered, and they kept playing her anyway, because it wasn’t about Exy at all. It was about selling a message. Using Olivia to do it. 

She wants to believe what Zia told her, what she’s been trying to tell herself: That there’s another way, that it doesn’t have to hurt so bad. She took the first leap: leaving Penn State, coming to Palmetto, but she’s not as sure about what comes next. She needs Palmetto to work out for her, to prove that she made the right choice.  Quirks/Eccentricities: She has a pretty deliberate way of speaking: under all the pressure her last year at Penn State, she learned how to second guess herself, dissect her words into sound bites before they ever left her mouth. She chews on her lower lip a lot, but has a tendency to buy and then lose chapstick, whether it’s leaving it places or just losing it in the depths of her gym bag. She likes when her sweatshirt sleeves are long enough to pull down over her hands.  MBTI Type: ISTJ, “The Logistician” (Logisticians’ dedication is an excellent quality, allowing them to accomplish much, but it is also a core weakness that less scrupulous individuals take advantage of. Logisticians seek stability and security, considering it their duty to maintain a smooth operation, and they may find that their coworkers and significant others shift their responsibilities onto them, knowing that they will always take up the slack.) Enneagram Type: Type Six, “The Loyalist” (The committed, security-oriented type. Sixes are reliable, hard-working, responsible, and trustworthy. Excellent "troubleshooters," they foresee problems and foster cooperation, but can also become defensive, evasive, and anxious—running on stress while complaining about it. They can be cautious and indecisive, but also reactive, defiant and rebellious. They typically have problems with self-doubt and suspicion.) Moral Alignment: Lawful Good  Temperament: Melancholic

04/FAMILY & HOME

Immediate Family: Garrett Finch (Father), Tara Pranav (Mother, estranged) How do they feel about their family?: She wasn’t a mistake, but she thinks she might have been an obligation: the trappings of a professional athlete went beyond the contract and the time on the court, to the trophy wife and the kids, the picture perfect family. For her, it didn’t quite work out that way. Her parents moved quickly, and they weren’t married when they had her. And though they planned to after she was born, it never happened: her mother stayed for the first trade, when Olivia was barely a year old, but she didn’t stick around for the second one. Olivia doesn’t really remember her, and it’s not like her father talks about her, either. 

But from that point on, it was just Olivia and her father. He was struggling with being a single parent, struggling with injury, trying to get back on the court and find a team he could stick with, taking too many pills. And then he was struggling with his career ending, drinking too much, taking even more pills, getting a job as an assistant coach and then losing it. New Hampshire, and his job at the boarding school, brought stability to their lives, but even then he wasn’t really there. 

Even more than he’s been her father, he’s been her coach. She’s always wanted to make him proud. She’s always loved him, even with all his faults. There’s a part of her that feels protective over him, and the best way to protect him always seemed to be to not disappoint him, like his life had disappointed him so many times before. She hates that she didn’t become a Raven, and she hated having to tell him that she was leaving Penn State. She knew he wouldn’t understand: that while he knew all about suffering for Exy, he didn’t know about making the choice to walk away, because it was one that he had never made for himself—he’d been forced to.  How does their family feel about them?: She knows her father loves her. It never really used to bother her, how hard he was on her. It was just because he wanted her to succeed, because he knew what it took, because he knew how hard it was. Because he believed in her. But it hurt to disappoint him, when Edgar Allan didn’t recruit her, even though she had no control over that. It hurt to disappoint him at Penn State, when she was cracking under the pressure, not playing the way they both knew that she could, but unable to explain why. They don’t know how to talk to each other about anything other than Exy. She can’t talk about Penn State to him, because she doesn’t think he would understand, because she thinks he would tell her that she should have stuck it out, just like he endured everything that Edgar Allan did to him back in those bad old days. And so, while she knows her father loves her, she knows that he doesn’t understand the choices she’s made, and she doesn’t think she’ll be able to bridge that gap.  Pets: None Where do they live?: With her father in Concord, New Hampshire. When she was at Penn State, she regularly went home for breaks. She’ll probably do the same at Palmetto, but with how much they fought over the summer, she’s sure it’ll be different. Description of their home: A small one-story, two-bedroom house in Concord with a good sized yard. It’s nothing too fancy: her father never really made the big bucks as a professional athlete, and his career was cut short, anyway. Some of the kids on the team with her at school said it must have been nice, to have her own room in her own house instead of staying in the dorms, eating in the dining hall, being far from home. But she felt a little self-conscious about it, anyway, knowing that she and her father had less money than the kids she went to school with, and she didn’t invite people over often—though that wasn’t just about the house.  Description of their bedroom: Whether it’s her room at home or a school dorm, it’s pretty much the same. Olivia doesn’t need much in the way of creature comforts, and she doesn’t really have a knack for decorating. She has Exy posters—even more than most, probably—on her walls, Exy gear and school supplies and stray clothes strewn around until it gets cluttered enough for her to make an effort at cleaning up, at putting things back in some semblance of order. She’s neither particularly messy or particularly neat. 

05/THIS OR THAT

Introvert or Extrovert? Introvert Optimist or Pessimist? Optimist, but she thinks it’s more that she’s a hard worker.  Leader or Follower? Follower Confident or Self-Conscious? Self-Conscious, though wasn’t always that way. Cautious or Careless? Cautious Passionate or Apathetic? Passionate Book Smarts or Street Smarts? Book Smarts Compliments or Insults? Compliments

06/FAVORITES

Favorite Color: Blue Favorite Clothing Style/Outfit: She’s always been a tomboy. Her typical uniform is leggings and an oversized tshirt or sweatshirt, usually some kind of team gear, whether it’s a team she’s played on or a professional one that she follows, with sneakers or slides. Outside of what’s purely practical or comfortable, she likes hats, whether it’s a beanie or a baseball cap (worn forwards or backwards) and necklaces, especially when they have a pendant she can fidget with. Dressing up for her usually means wearing jeans, something other than a hoodie, nice sneakers instead of ones she runs in, but rarely anything more than that. She firmly believes that there’s no occasion where something other than a sports bra is required.  Favorite Bands/Songs/Type of Music: She’s not that picky, and she doesn’t really follow music. She mostly just knows what’s popular at any given time, and while she’ll hum along to the radio or whatever is being played in the locker room, when she’s on her own she’s usually not putting music on for herself. She likes the quiet.  Favorite Movies: She likes typical sports movies, underdog stories: Remember The Titans; Miracle; First Court.  Favorite Books: She’s not much of a reader. The books that she has that aren’t for classes are memoirs of professional athletes, or of the optimizing, self-help variety, the kind of things that she or her father would give to each other as gifts.  Favorite Foods/Drinks: Neither she or her father ever ended up becoming good cooks, and most of the time her father just ended up cooking the few simple things he’d learned how to make for himself when he was still playing, a lot of chicken and rice, some steamed vegetables. What she likes best, instead, are the things that felt like rewards after good games, whether it was going out with her father or something with the entire team: chinese food, doughnuts, a classic hot fudge sundae. She’s a black coffee drinker, and never goes anywhere without a full Nalgene.  Favorite Sports/Sports Teams: Exy, of course. She was raised a Ravens fan, and always expected that she’d end up playing for them, like her father had. Growing up with her father as a journeyman professional player, she was always decked out in gear for whatever team he played on or coached, before settling on cheering for the nearest team, the Boston Renegades, after they settled in New Hampshire.  Favorite Time of Day: Sadly, she’s a morning person.  Favorite Weather/Season: Fall, both because of the weather and the start of Exy season.  Favorite Animal: She’s always loved cats.